#she also says that something that sets me apart from her other patients is my resilience

[scarletlizzard]

Okay so I saw a tik tok and thought I'd be a cute idea if y/n is a physical touch love language person and after being away from Nat for a while due to missions you finally get some time together and y/n manages to get themself under Nat's shirt.

"You know I could just take my shirt off?"

"No its better this way. Keeps the warmth in."

Y/n just peaking up at Nat through the collar of her shirt and just really a cute fluffy moment that maybe Nat thought wasn't going to be at first, but is also totally okay with her little cuddle monster.

Cuddle Monster

Pairing: natasha x reader

A/N: Thanks for the request anon! Here's a short little something, I hope you like it 😊

Your fingers tap eagerly in your lap as you sit on the couch, waiting for your girlfriend to wall through the door at any minute. It had been much too long since you had seen her and especially too long since you had felt her touch.

You knew what her life was, knew that being away from each other was something you would have to get used to. Natasha loved her job, and you loved that about her, how passionate she was about it. But you don't think you'll ever get used to it. Thankfully, she was going to have a few months off, and the two of you would spend every second of it together.

So you stand from the couch and walk around your shared apartment, not so patiently waiting. It's only a moment later you hear the usual squeak of the front door opening, your girlfriends redhead popping in.

You stop in your tracks and watch as she walks in, closing the door behind her and setting a bag down on the floor, looking more tired than ever.

"Miss me, sweetheart?" Natasha asks with a small smirk on her lips, laughing as you run over to her and wrap your arms around her. She kisses your head and pulls you closer into her warm embrace.

"Every time, Nat.. God, I missed you so much," you pout, wanting to feel closer. Her cheek rubs against your forehead, and the comforting smell of her fills your senses as you breathe in. You pull back to see her tired eyes once again, dark circles underneath. Your hand reaches up to hold her face, thumb rubbing gently just above her cheekbones as you give her a worried look.

"I'm okay, malyshka. I promise," she smiles at you and kisses your hand.

"Let's go lay down, huh? I wanna cuddle," you say softly, and she nods, lifting you up and spinning you around. Her lips meet yours in a gentle kiss as she sets you down on your feet.

Your hand slips into hers, and you lead her to the bedroom. The feeling of her caullesed fingers against yours brings a warmth to your chest. The way she held on tightly, intertwining your fingers. You couldn't get enough of her touch.

When you stop by the bed, Nat raises an eyebrow at the cheeky smile you give her. "What are you-?" She chuckles as your hands move to her hips, sliding up underneath her shirt to feel the soft skin of her body. You feel the muscles in her stomach flex at your cold touch.

You practically see the shine in her green eyes as you remove your hands from her, lifting your sweatshirt over your head. But before she can touch you, your hands are back under her shirt.

"Malyshka..." Nat mutters under her breath, chuckling as your hands stretch out her shirt. Before she can realize what's happening, you've maneuvered yourself underneath the loose material of her shirt.

You sigh at the feeling of your skin against yours, the way you practically melt into her embrace as her arms move to envelope you.

"You know I could just take off my shirt?" She whispers, you see the smirk on her face as you peak your head out from the collar of her shirt.

"No it's better this way.. keeps the warmth in," you sigh again and rest your face against her, nuzzling yourself into her neck, and placing a soft kiss there. Your hands run across her back, up and down her spine, feeling every inch of skin.

Natasha smiles at the feeling and only holds you tighter. She lets her hands do the same, showering your rosey cheeks with kisses.

"You know, when I said we could share clothes, this isn't exactly what I had in mind." You feel a rumble from her chest as she chuckles, and your heart swells. You bite down playfully against her neck and laugh along with her.

"Shut up and hold me," you mumble with a wide smile on your face, loving the physical attention she happily gave you.

"That's all I want, honey," Natasha whispers and sighs happily that she was finally home with you. She loved how touchy you were, how you craved her touch. Nat places a sweet kiss on your forehead as you squeeze her tighter.

"Alright, my little cuddle monster, how about we get changed and climb into bed?" She asks, feeling more at home than ever when she sees the love in your eyes and smile on your lips as you look up to her.

[lvnleah]

Passing Shadows | Leah Williamson

Summary: You’re a nurse and your job gets a little too much so your fiancé, Leah, helps you do a different career.

Notes: this isn’t my favourite one-shot but it was too cute not to post. I also put a lot of work into it to scrap it <33

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Your footsteps echoed through the dimly lit hospital corridor. The night shift had been gruelling, and your eyes drooped with exhaustion. You longed for the warmth of your bed, the soft embrace of your pillow and Leah’s arms. As you pushed open the heavy exit door, you knew that Leah’s day was just beginning whilst yours was ending.

You were a nurse down at the local hospital in the emergency room. You mostly worked night shifts, they began at 8pm and ended at 8am. You were always rushed off your feet, you never knew what each day was going to be like.

Whilst you were running around, sorting medicines and scans out for patients, Leah was at home sleeping. Your life’s were far from the same.

You’d been with Leah for six years now, engaged for one and were soon hoping to start the IVF process at some point in the following year. You met Leah when you were a student nurse, you were twenty and Leah was twenty-one when you met.

You and your friends from university had decided to go out one night and that's how you’d met Leah. You were both tipsy and ended up hooking up that night, the next morning you woke up tangled together in the sheets. Ever since then you’d been inseparable. Things happened quickly and before you knew it you were dating and moved in together, you’d never looked back.

You got into your car and placed your bag on the passenger seat, you linked your phone to the car and played your music. You listened to your playlist, one Leah had made for you, as the sun rose above the road ahead of you.

When you arrived at your and Leah’s apartment you set your bag in the hallway, Leah’s football boots and bag were still there so you knew she was still at home.

Leah stood at the over, making you and her some breakfast. "Hey love," Leah smiled, leaving the oven and waking over to you. "Long night?"

You nodded, melting into Leah’s embrace as she pulled you into her chest. "The ER was chaotic, I’m so tired."

Leah's eyes softened. "You did so well, love. I missed you," she confessed, her fingers brushing against your side.

"I miss you too," you whispered. "More than I can say. I feel like we’re spending no time together at the moment.”

Leah's lips curved into a half-smile. "Maybe it’s time we do something about it," she suggested. “You’re burning yourself out, love.”

Your heart skipped a beat. You’d never expected Leah to say it out loud. You’d been dancing around your feelings for months. You knew deep down Leah was right and maybe it was time to do something about it.

You’d been a nurse for four years now and things were getting too much, you didn’t enjoy your job as much anymore. It was time for you to do something else.

Leah let go of you and walked over to the oven, she turned it off before coming back over and picking you up. As she lifted you effortlessly, you clung to her, your heart racing. The warmth of her body pressed against yours, you buried your face in the crook of her neck, inhaling her familiar scent—a mix of vanilla and other scents.

"Where are we going?" you asked, your voice muffled against her skin.

"To the couch," Leah replied softly. "We need to talk. Jonas has let me skip training today, I explained what’s happening, so don’t worry.”

She carried you across the small kitchen and settled you down on the worn-out cushions. The morning light streamed through the window, casting a soft glow on Leah's face. Her expression was serious, yet there was tenderness in her eyes.

"Love," she began, sitting beside you, "I've watched you pour your heart and soul into your work. You're an incredible nurse, but you're drowning. The long hours, the emotional toll, it’s taking a toll on you."

You nodded, tears threatening to spill. Leah understood you better than anyone. She'd been there during your late-night shifts, holding you when you came home exhausted, listening to your stories of life and death in the ER.

"I can't keep doing this," you admitted. "I need a change."

Leah's fingers traced patterns on your thigh. "What do you want, then? What would make you happy?"

The question hung in the air, heavy with possibility. You thought about the dreams you'd buried—the baking classes you'd abandoned, the travel plans postponed indefinitely. The desire to create, explore, and live beyond the hospital walls.

"I don’t know," you shrugged as Leah drew patterns on your knee, “I just want to be with you. I want us to go back to how we were.”

Leah's smile was soft and understanding. "You loved to bake when I met you, your cookies were out of this world.”

A soft laugh escaped past your lips, “I always dreamed of owning a bakery like my Nanna.

Growing up your Nanna Olive owned her very own bakery, it was called Olive’s Bakery and you used to spend your weekend there up until the age of sixteen. She passed a few months after you turned sixteen and even though you begged your parents to keep the bakery, they sold it. Your heart broke and since then your baking slowly stopped.

“You should open a bakery," She leaned in, brushing her lips against yours. "I’ll help you and I’m sure Beth, Viv, Katie, Jen and the other girls will too."

Her kiss was a promise—a promise of change, of love, of a future beyond the ER. And as you melted into her, you knew that this was the beginning of something beautiful.

You nodded, a smile written over your face now replacing the frown, “Owning a bakery would be better for when we start our own family.”

Leah giggled, “It would be,” she agreed, “wouldn’t have to worry about you and our baby all night long.”

“You’re such a stress-head, Mrs Williamson.” You laughed, cupping Leah’s face and pulling her closer to you.

She pecked your lips, “Can’t help it that I’m so in love with my wife, Mrs Williamson. Now let’s get you to bed, get you some rest.”

You didn’t protest when Leah scooped you up from the couch and carried you into your bedroom, instead you melted into her arms and let her take care of you. You let her pull back the sheets and tuck you in before crawling into bed beside you.

Just over a year later you were living your dream. A few days after that conversation with Leah you handed in your two week notice and left nursing behind you for good. After that you took a few months off and spent some well needed time with Leah and your families, you began to find yourself again.

You began the starting process to open your own bakery after you and Leah returned from your trip to Rome to celebrate your seven year anniversary together, one that wasn’t spent working for the first time in over four years. You viewed a couple buildings with Leah but nothing felt right until one night you were laid in bed and made a discovery.

“Leah!” You screamed, despite the blonde being sat beside you.

Leah jumped out of her own skin, “Jesus woman!” She laughed, “No need to shout, love. What's wrong?”

“I can’t believe this!” You grinned, staring down at your phone, “Nanna Olive’s old bakery building has come up for sale and I’ve just been asked if I want to buy it!”

Happy tears formed in your eyes as you flipped your phone round to Leah’s view, “This is literally perfect, Le!”

Leah leaned over and kissed you lips before wrapping her arm around your stomach, “Love that’s amazing! Are you going to buy it?”

You nodded, “Yeah I am, it’s fate.”

You placed an offer and less than 24 hours later it was accepted, you cried your eyes out when you found out. A week later you’d already started renovating the building, you tried your hardest to get it as close as possible to what it was like when you were a teenager with the help of Leah and the Arsenal girls.

Two months later and the bakery was finished, it looked and felt exactly like it did when you were sixteen despite it being ten years later. You began to figure out recipes and after many failed attempts you finally sorted a menu out, most of the baked goods came from the book of recipes your Nanna Olive had passed down from to you.

A month later and it was opening day. Opening day was a nerve racking experience for you, you just wanted to make everyone proud and you did just that. Leah and all of the Arsenal girls turned up for your opening day as well as all of your family and friends. Customers hurried in and out and six months later you were the go to bakery in town.

As you began to close down the bakery for the evening, the bell chimed above the door. You stopped wiping the counters and turned around to see Leah standing there. She had her football bag in her hand and a soft smile written over her face.

You rounded the counter and walked over to Leah, putting your arms around her neck. You brought her in for a kiss, “Hi my love, how was training?”

“It was good,” she pecked your lips as her hands trailed down your hips before finding your bump. “How are my girls?”

You were currently twenty three weeks pregnant with Leah and yours first child. A daughter to be precise.

“Our girl is doing just fine,” you whispered, your voice filled with love and anticipation. “She’s strong, hasn’t stopped kicking all day, reckon she’s going to be a footballer just like her Mumma.”

She chuckled, her breath warm against your cheek. “I can’t wait to meet her,” Leah smiled as she felt your daughter kick against her hand. “God, they are strong kicks!”

With the help of Leah, you finished closing down the bakery. You both ended up snacking on some leftover cookies and lemonade before making your way home.

As you laid in bed that night, Leah’s arms wrapped around you, she kissed your forehead, “I’m so proud of you y’know? What you’ve done over the past year is amazing.”

You smiled at her, “Thank you, love. I couldn’t have done it without you and everyone around us. If it wasn’t for that night I'd probably be stuck nursing still.”

And there, in the quiet darkness, you both drifted off to sleep. You fell asleep in Leah’s arms, something a year ago you would’ve yearned for all night long. Now you didn’t need to because you had the life you’d always dreamed of.

[rxnn]

Bleeding Heart [one]

warnings: first post so i'm new to this. mention of storm and joker attack (leia and callum aren't hurt). please let me know if i missed any!

important! this is an fem!oc x yan!batboys cause that's just more fun/easier for me. feel free to use y/n if that's comfier i don't care, just don't be a jerk.

this will mostly be a slow roll into yan behavior. each of them will have their own descent which with either be slow or fast (i literally have a document where i wrote everything out). also, this my first time writing yan or darker content so be patient with me please. last thing, promise: i don't condone any behavior that will be present in this series, this is for fictional purposes only (not seen in this chap but it will be present later).

❥ ❥ ❥ 

Leia Barnett always liked the rain.

Don't get her wrong, she liked sunny days, but something about rain hitting the roof of her semi-decent two-bedroom apartment while rain ran down the windows in steady streams and she sat on her small couch with a cup of coca in her cold hands. Snuggled under a quilt her grandmother had made her when she went off to college, she smiled, content. It had small stains on it now after it's many years of use.

There was one from Matilda's coffee that she'd catch herself staring at more than often now that they'd never get the chance to giggle about it anymore. Matilda, one of her dearest friends, her best friend who'd taken her in when she had no where else to go, her person some would say. Where one went, the other was close by. But now, she was in a place Leia couldn't follow. Not for a long time.

Another was a blue marker stain that refused to budge thanks to one of Callum's many attempts at drawing. Callum, her beautiful boy with soft dark curls and bright hazel eyes. She loved that boy more than anything. She promised herself she'd do good by him, better than her parents.

It was a slow start, raising him with Matilda until she passed a year ago and having to move, it was a lot, but Leia was nothing if not determined (see: stubborn).

Leia glanced at the clock and set her cup to the side, stretching before she stood and collected her shoes, jacket, and umbrella to pick Callum up from the bus stop. She walked out of her apartment, double checking that she locked the door behind her.

It was only a ten-minute walk to the bus stop. One that she tried her best to make every day, only missing it when she had a shift at the hospital. Often times, she woke early enough that she was able to see Callum to the bus and back in time to pick him up except for the rare twelve hour she had to cover. Those usually happened when some villain hit Gotham.

Those days were hard.

On those days, Callum stayed with Mrs. Houseman, their neighbor to the left. She was in her late seventies from what Leia could tell. She worked at the library and often brought Callum there on those longer days to keep him busy for no charge. Mrs. Houseman claimed she often missed her own children so having Callum around was payment enough. As a single mother who was just beginning to piece her life together again, Leia truly appreciated the woman.

Her phone ringing made her jump as she walked through the rain, spotting Callum get off the bus. She quickly waved him over and she kissed his forehead and adjusted the hood of his bright red rain jacket as it started to rain.

"Hi, Mama!"

"Hey, Cal! How was school?"

"Good! I played tag with Justin today!"

"Ooo, sounds fun." Leia ruffled his hair.

'Susan' appeared on her screen, and she sighed before answering. Susan was a nice woman in her forties and was the head nurse on her floor. She'd taken Leia under her wing and given her plenty of tips for living in Gotham.

Leia gestured to her phone and Callum nodded, grabbing her free hand as they began walking home.

"Hello? Everything alright?"

"Where are you?" She sounded rushed and Leia looked around for anyone running.

"I'm picking up Callum..." she trailed off, gripping Callum's hand a little tighter and sped up. The boy glanced up at her, confused, and she shook her head, signaling him to hurry.

"There's been a Joker attack near your place. Get your boy and get inside you hear?"

"Gas?" Leia asked as she started running, picking up Callum and closing her umbrella as would only make it harder to run for cover.

"That's what I'm hearing. Don't let me see you in here tonight, Barnett."

And like that, Susan hung up and Leia tucked her phone away.

Suddenly, the rain wasn't so relaxing as it had covered the sound of toxin sirens she was only now hearing. It seemed the few people on the streets had also picked up on them as people began running for shelter.

"Mama?" Callum's fearful voice only fueled her to rush through the door of their complex.

"It's okay, baby," she wheezed, holding the boy closer. "Almost there."

The sirens were louder now, signaling the toxin was almost to their block.

Leia took the steps two at a time. She could hear the door to their complex open and close but she paid little mind to it and rushed to their door and unlocked it with shaking hands before Callum ran in.

She cursed herself for not remembering the masks before she left. Months here and she should've known. To be fair, the last Joker attack had been before she moved in.

Leia locked the door's three locks behind her (you could never be too careful).

By the time she turned, the sirens were just outside their complex and Callum had scampered off to grab their gas masks. He came running around the corner and grabbed onto her pant leg just as the green smog covered the windows. Leila was quick to strap the mask around his face before putting her own on. Sure, they were inside, but Leia heard stories of windows not being fully closed or cracked and the smog seeping through, infecting unsuspecting families.

"C'mon." She ushered Callum away from the windows and toward the center of their small apartment where she gave him headphones that were connected to a playlist she'd made for situations like these a long time ago. She pulled him to sit in her lap as she leaned against the wall, holding him close to her as the sirens rang out.

She closed her eyes, trying to stop shaking and stop the panic that threatened to cloud her mind.

The sound of laughter filled the streets and she hugged her son tighter. Everyone who inhaled the green gas laughed until they died. The first time she'd seen pictures of the bodies of those affected, she nearly threw up.

Their area was usually safe from such things with only muggings, some drug deals that were usually dealth with, and smaller crimes. Every now and again you'd hear gunshots. It'd taken a while for the Barnett's to get used to, but now it was as common as the never-ending rain.

Callum curled into her, facing away from the windows, but the shadows of the smoke moving past the windows was scary enough for the six-year-old.

An eternity of waiting for the smog to clear, the laughter to fall silent, and the robotic voice from the sirens telling them it safe to leave their homes.

Leia didn't move.

She listened to the rain against the windows, much stronger now as the storm hit Gotham in a rage of its own.

Looking back only a few months later, she should've known then. She should've left and never looked back.

The rain that she adored so much beat against the windows, begging to swallow her and her son whole.

❥ ❥ ❥ 

pretty short cause i'm scared. next ones will be longer, pinky promise pookies :)

two, three, four

[gritsandbrits]

In light of recent news over the passing of voice actress Arleen Sorkin, I wish to reflect on the impact of Harley Quinn on my life.

When I was a kid I grew with Harley. From getting fired from a tv show for giving questionable advice, as her backstory in the 2004 cartoon The Batman, to falling in mad love with her own patient as is the origin story in the 92 animated and subsequent media, Harley has such a big role in Batman lore I don't remember a single time where she wasn't involved. Sometimes I wonder what batman mythos was like before her inclusion.

The first thing that drew me to Harley was her design. Red and black the colors of danger which she was. But there was an added playfulness, that she genuinely enjoyed being herself. She was also VERY hilarious and at times out of pocket. Child Me was amazed. Did I want to be her? Not necessarily. But she did look like someone I'd hang out with.

The meta origin of Harley is just as fascinating. The creators of BTAS saw a performance of Arleen in a clown costume. From there inspiration leapt off the pages onto the big screen. Unlike most of the cast Harley didn't originate from the comics. She was created exclusively for the show, an OC if you will. OCs tend to have a mixed reputation. But Harley's concept and execution was so perfect, she almost feels like she could've been a real character in the comics.

And real she became!

Introduced as a psychiatrist, after receiving Joker as a patient, Dr. Harleen Quinzel begins to fall in love with him; and down a path to iconoclastic doom. Her love for Joker is obsessive, hilarious shallow, horrible but also downright entertaining to watch. I enjoyed every moment she was on screen: I still quote "rev up your Harley" to this day! I see her despair, her goofy outlook and morbid ruthlessness. I wanted her to get comeuppance but at the same time I can't help but feel sorry for her.

Joker abuses her, ignores her, and only complements her when she does something good for him. While the makes how awful their relationship clear, there are a good amount of fans who sees the pair as a glamorous whirlwind romance a la Sonny and Brenda or Jane and Mr Rochester. While such fantasies may seem morbid I don't blame them. No matter how horrible Harley is there is a tiny unavoidable spot that aches for her to win. Or at least see Joker for the monster he really is. While Harley is often held accountable for her actions her arc shows that no one deserves to be abused.

Arleen's performance played a major role in brining Harley to life. She nailed her weaknesses and strengths with such a sincere note that elicits pity, humor and shock at the same time. And of course that ear candy of the New Jersey accent that set the standard for future VAs. Whenever I look at a picture of Harley I hear Arleen. Not to say the other VAs aren't bad, but Arleen's performance is that iconic I can't help but think of her!

Over the years Harley grew apart from Clown Prince of Crime. She got her own spinoff comics, made appearances in other DC media. She even gotten her own tv show which sees the DC universe through her eyes. Harley has marginally healthier romances, primarily Poison Ivy (this isn't to say that pairing doesn't have it's share of toxic moments). The Harlivy ship is a fan favorite but even without shipping and the wars, Harley still shines bright as the Bat Signal.

In a way Harley's descent and eventual rise back to normalcy reminds me of my own struggles. I wasn't a happy child growing up, I've made a lot of mistakes and bad choices. To see a person like Harley work to take back control of her life, makes me feel a bit better for my own prospects. Of course I wouldn't torture a kid to near insanity or blow up a whole city but I can at least put my energy towards something constructive. Harley shows people like me thay we can be more than just screwups if we try.

Of course I can't forget Harley's design. The red&black suit is an icon by itself and inspires similar designs in and outside comics. I could talk all day about how cool her design is from a show and historical perspective but that would take me all day. While I prefer her classic palette, her recent blue and pinks aren't bad either and show just how far she's come out of Joker's shadow. It's even to the point where when, I see something black and red and white I have to point it out and say "Harley would love that outfit!"

Nowadays I complain about the oversaturation of Harley quinn (seriously what was DC thinking taking a team started by a disabled character to reclaim her agency) and overshadowing other cool DC villains. But I would be lying of I say she didn't leave an impact. And it's all thanks to Arleen Sorkin for breathing life into a character that proves you don't need to be be from "the comics" to be considered cool.

Thank you Arleen! May her memory be a blessing - Grits.

[xqueen-of-disasterx]

Under the mask

Kinktober day 2

Paring: fem!reader x Ghostface!amab!Nat

Warnings: SMUT, DUB!CON, Dom!Nat, Sub!Reader, implied murder, blow job, unprotected sex, riding, Daddy kink (I’m sorry), stalker behavior, clit play, slight dumbification

!Disclaimer English is not my first language so please excuse any grammar or spelling errors. This story is completely fictional!

Masterlist- kinktober

A ghost made it was through your hometown. Hiding in the shadows to wait patiently for its next victim. The community in your city was terrified to say the least. The police was useless having no idea who the gruesome could be. The only clue which they did have that the killer must be a male. No woman could be this sadistic they thought, they suspect. Oh how wrong they were. Why the cops interviewed some innocent man Natasha made her way through the cold city. This years October was especially cold leaving anyone outside to freeze especially at this hour. However Natasha was burning in desire. Desire for you. She was watching you for a week now, her body was longing for your youth and sexuality. You were different than her other victims she didn’t want to kill you. Not yet. She wanted you to be hers. There was only one problem; your boyfriend.

You were alone tonight like so often you tried to call Peter to see if he was home but he didn’t pick up making you suspect that he was out with friends . Peter, your boyfriend, rather went out to have a drink with his friends and some chick named Gamora. To be honest you suspected him cheating on you. He’d smile at his phone all the time came home late at night smelling like cheap perfume. You didn’t leave him either, to big was your fear of ending up alone. You made your way into your apartment building up the stairs facing the door. You press the door handle down to notice that the door was unlocked. You looked at the handle confused not knowing how the door could be unlocked when you checked it twice the this morning. You tried to clam your nerves by thinking it must’ve been your boyfriend and not the killer. What would be the chances?

Once you were in your apartment you called out for Peter. No response. You felt a shivers down your spine something was off you weren’t alone here. Your instincts set in and you rushed to the door. Your hand was nearly touching the handle as you felt to arms grab you roughly. The persons bloody knife on your neck pressing the sharp steal against the soft flesh of your throat. “What I nice catch eh?” She pressed you hard against her. “It’s a shame you had to put up with such an excuse for a boyfriend but I took care of that sweetheart” Her touch felt strangely comforting better than Peters could ever have felt. “We are going to have a lot of fun tonight”

The woman with the mask found herself with you on your couch again. The white screaming mask and black clothes hiding her identity from you. You were afraid of her but also aroused at the sight of her bulge. “I’ve you are a good girl I’ll leave you unharmed bunny.” Her voice was sweet like honey pulling me in to her. “Yes of course Daddy” Your knees hit the hard ground as you watched Natasha unbuckle her belt moving her hips away from the cushion to pull down her pants and boxers freeing her thick length. She was big to say the least the biggest you had had yet. “You’re so big daddy” you said in an awe wrapping your hands around her erected penis. “I know bunny but could girls can take it” Your plump lips wrap around her deep red tip your tongue circling it making the woman with the ghost mask throw her head back groaning. You swallowed a few more inches bobbing you head up and done.

You pull away again licking up the sides of her cock spreading the saliva up her thick shaft making her crazy. You lick her balls and the woman above you was in heaven and you. You enjoyed it more than you should. “Do you like that daddy” you ask in an innocent tone your tongue on her shaft again. Nat moaned nodding how how badly you wanted to see her

face twist in pleasure maybe later you thought. You wrapped around her again put this time she had decided that you were way to confident. She place her hands on your head holding it in place as she roughly fucks up your throat making you gag and whimper. The sounds you made were running vibration down her veiny shaft as she grew even more desperate. Her groans turned into whimpers as she emptied herself into your throat. Hot cum shot down into your stomach as you swallowed everything she gave you.

Roughly she pulled you up making you sit on her lap avoiding her still hard member. “Good girl“ she whispered in your ear pulling you up and forward your entrance right above her tip. Slowly she pulled you down making you cry at the feeling of the stretch. You pushed your face into her neck as she filled you up to the brim. She moved your hips back and forth making you cry as you rode her your legs shivering. You clenched down hard as your arousal dripped down your thighs. You babbled some unrecognizable words at he feeling for her finding your sweet spot “Fuck you little slut too cock dump to talk” her hands found your clit. She pulled the hood back rubbing tight circles. “Do you like your clit getting played with” she groaned into your ear. “Fuck I’m gonna-” Natasha interrupted you “cum cum with me” you clenched down hard as you both had your releases her painting your velvet walls white. You collapsed on top of her.

“Ready for round two?”

:)

I do not own these characters all rights go to Marvel

[luvyunjinxo]

my boss || g1p!kcw x fem!reader ★

smut just for her birthday, love you kim chaewon <3. (please im still stuck in july I'm not in august yet 💀) & not proofread.

I have a job interview, you thought to yourself while getting dressed. you sprayed your strawberry shortcake perfume on and you smelled like a goddess, you were ready. As soon as you walked through the halls of the company it felt like a breath of fresh air really. you made your way to none other than the CEO's room, Kim Chaewon. you were put into some sort of line? It was basically a line of people who applied too. you were nervous, you could hear throughout the room "NEXT, you weren't good enough" and sobs of people crying.

She was tough and you knew it. you had to show her the best you could be. You were next in line, and you were nervous as hell, sweat beads dripping down your neck every two seconds, but made sure to wipe it.

"Next, Y/n?" Her assistant asked

"Yes ma'am."

"So, what do you usually do for a living?" Her assistant asked all the questions while chaewon was eyeing you from the middle of the room observing your every move.

"Schedule her for the next round, she is now apart of our team. Get her to the training room now." Chaewon suddenly spoke, leaving you frozen in your spot. you didn't even know why she accepted you so fast, only one question was asked..

You were escorted to chaewon's main office, which I guess was the training room? all the current employees were giving you weird looks and saying "fighting!" to you as you walked by, treating you as if you were special. was going to her room something big? you kept wondering, but shook it off once you got to her room.

"Ms. Kim will be here in a few minutes please wait patiently. You may watch on the TV for now, just be comfortable." You gave her a smile smile and nod as she walked off into the distance. now sitting on her couch, you decided to watch your favorite k-dramas. A few minutes my ass, she took a whole hour so you decided to get comfy.

Suddenly chaewon barges in without knocking, making her way to sit at her desk and you fix yourself immediately and bowed at her. "No need to greet me, just come towards me." She signaled to come her way with her index finger, as you went closer you could smell her aroma. it was sweet like a dessert, you wanted to smell more.

"You're now hired as my assistant, I see potential in you and don't fuck it up. I fired my last one just for you, I'm telling you don't mess up."

you were now working for chaewon and it has been a month. she has gotten more strict with you but also friendly in a way. she would ask you on dates professionally as business, but nothing else.

anyways, you got called up to her office like you always did but it was something different. chaewon was on her desk chair, no top on and only in her bra, typing on her computer innocently.

"s-should I come back later?"

"no, stay. I have a task for you do you think you can handle it?"

"yes ma'am."

"I need you y/n." that sentence hit your ears and echoed throughout it too. you couldn't believe her words.

"what d-do you mean by needing me ms?"

"don't act dumb. get on the desk now, and do as you're told."

you walked over to her desk as she cleared everything off of it shoving all her papers on the floor, as you hopped onto her desk making sure not to put all your weight on it. her lips connected with yours fighting for dominance leaving a moan every now and then, but you gave out quickly leaving you out of breath. you continued to have a heated make out session as she started unbuttoning your top revealing your embarrassing matching lace set.

her lips disconnected with yours leaving a string of saliva attached to your mouths, leaving her more aroused. she started to give you sloppy kisses down to your neck trailing down to your mounds as she started using her tongue to flick and play with your buds leaving you sensitive. "m-ms kim .." you managed to breathe out. "it's mommy for you princess."

she started to unzip your plaid skirt and undressed you fully, you were butt-naked by the time everything was off. she lead you to her couch as she sat down and started to undress herself as well and you started to go down on your knees.

"suck." she demanded while she pulled her cock out, it wasn't too big nor small, it was just right. you started sucking on her tip as you made your way lower, & she pushed your head more down causing you to gag on her, which caused her to chuckle seeing how pathetic you are. she demanded you to stop as she put you on all fours on the couch and rubbed her cock against your ass. ugh, you couldn't take it anymore.

"Please, I can't take the teasing a-anymore." you whined out but she never listened and just started to toy with your clit and nothing else.

"beg for it." you hated begging so much it hurt your pride. but it was your boss you couldn't resist.

"Gosh, I need it! I cant handle it anymore it's too much teasing!" you screamed out. she inserted it fast, not letting you have time to adjust and started to pound into you like a puppy in the heat. you were drooling at that point. she put on of your legs over the couch so she could get a wider access of you.

"I can't- please- let me c-cum .." she thrusted into you harder as she finished before you and came into you, causing you panic at first but she let you finish so you didn't care. that was the best sex you've had.

"you did so good for me baby, but I'm not even done yet. I think you should come over and we could finish this. such a good girl you are for me hm?" she said while lifting your chin up and making you open your mouth. she spit into your mouth making you swallow like the good pathetic assistant you are<3.

"let's go now shall we? we have the whole night ahead of us, its gonna be long."

[dambaepuff]

TO BE HUMAN

☆Pairing: Single Parent!Seokjin x GN!Reader

☆Genre: Non!Idol AU, fluff, one-shot, tiny bit of angst if you squint, slice of life

☆Warnings: mentions of alcohol, smooching, maybe swear words(??), light age gap

☆Word count: 5k

☆Summary: You meet a handsome stranger and his two kids whilst walking your dog. His kids seem to take a liking to your dog, but he seems to have his eyes set on the other end of the leash.

☆A/N: Hi guys!! Sorry for not posting, I went on a month long bender and competently forgot to post this. I have no idea what this fic is an anymore ngl I literally don’t remember writing it and it’s been in my drafts for a while. Hope you enjoy i guess??

You laid in bed, blissfully sleeping under your warm covers. A wet snout tickled your feet, small licks placed onto the sensitive skin. You startled awake, the feeling making you jolt up. Two black eyes looked up at you from the foot of your bed, your Samoyed barks at you, her tail beginning to wag when she realizes you’re awake. “It’s too early Bomi! Not yet.” You groan and pull your duvet up over your head. She jumps up onto your bed, grabbing your covers with her strong jaws and begins to tug at them. Successfully she gets them off of you, revealing her fluffy face staring down at your form.

“Okay fine. You wanna go for a walk?” You said, pitching your voice up at the end of the sentence. Her ears shot up at the mention of going outside, the movement of her tail wagging becoming more rapid. She let out a bark of joy and jumped down from the bed. “Okay, let’s go, c’mon.” You sleepily get up from bed, tugging on a jacket over your pajamas and putting on a beanie. She happily runs around you, only stopping when you put on her collar and leash. Grabbing your apartment keys and some treats for her, you make your way outside.

Bomi pulled lightly towards the direction of her favorite park, having no objection you let her lead the way. Once you entered the gated area you took off her leash, letting her run around freely whilst you slowly walked around the designated paths. As she trotted near you, a young boy ran up to you. He politely asked if he could pet your dog to which you agree with a smile. “What’s his name?” He asked, his small chubby hands patting her head as she patiently sits. “She’s a girl, her names Bomi.” You replied simply. “What’s your name?” You asked the young boy. “My name is Minho and I’m this old, but daddy says it’s my birthday soon.” He said as he held up five of his fingers.

“That’s great Minho! My name is (Y/N). Are your parents here with you?” You said, looking around at the empty park. “My daddy is here with me and, and also my sister is here.” He respondes, still looking at Bomi. “Where’s your daddy?” You questioned feeling slightly uncomfortable about the small child being unattended. He shrugged in response, still too preoccupied with your dog to even care. “Should we go find him?” Stuffing your hands into your pockets you started walking towards the direction he came from, hoping to find his father there. “Okay!” He affirmed, instinctively reaching an arm up at you to hold your hand. You put one of your palms into his much smaller one and let him lead the way.

“He’s over there!” He exclaimed after a bit of walking, pointing at a man whose back was turned towards you. You could make out his broad shoulders and black hair from the distance, a small child resting in his arms. “Excuse me sir! I believe I found something that belongs to you.” You yelled to which he immediately turned around. His face lit up when he saw Minho. “Oh goodness, there you are! Minho, how many times have I told you not to run off like that.” He scolded the child, quickly walking up to you. Minho looked down at his feet, “I’m sorry daddy, I only went to see the puppy.” he mumbled. That’s when the man looked away from his child, his eyes landing on you and your dog.

“Don’t worry sir, he’s alright.” You said and gave a polite bow in greeting. For a moment, he stood frozen in place, his eyes fixed on your face. “Uhm, uh thank you.” He mumbled, snapping out of it. “No problem?” You responded, a bit unsure of why he was staring you down. “You seem familiar, have we met before?” He asked, squinting at you as if he was trying to decipher something. “No, not that I know of. I think I’d remember a face like yours.” You responded, giving him a cheeky smile to which he chuckled. “Well, uhh, I guess I should get going now.” You said bowing again, turning on your heel you told Minho goodbye and started making your way towards the direction you came from. “Wait!” He called out to you. “Yes?” You stopped in your tracks, looking back at the man and his kids over your shoulder. “What’s your name?” He asked, almost too quiet for you to hear. “(Y/N), (L/N) (Y/N).” You said before turning back around. “Kim Seokjin.” He weakly said back, watching your back as you moved further away from him and his kids, your dog following closely behind you the same way it had been when you approached him with Minho.

For the rest of the day Seokjin couldn’t get the pretty stranger out of his head. “(L/N) (Y/N)” he played the memory of you saying your name over and over again, your voice echoing in his mind non stop. After he had put his kids to bed, Seokjin poured himself a glass of wine and sat down on his couch. Mindlessly flipping through the pages of a random magazine which had been laying on his coffee table for the past couple of weeks. It irked him that you were still on his mind, the interaction you shared probably being so short and meaningless to you that he had no doubt you’d forgotten all about it already. He sighed, bringing up the wine glass to his nose, he sniffed the drink, enjoying the smell he swished it around in his glass, finally bringing it to his lips to have a taste.

The park. That’s it, he should take the kids there again tomorrow morning and maybe he’ll see you. A bit desperate and pathetic? Maybe. But you wouldn’t know he’s back for you, right?

“Eunji stop! Cmon baby I know you don’t like wearing socks, but your feet will be cold.” Seokjin grumbled, mostly to himself since the child couldn’t understand the majority of the words he was saying. Eunji kept on kicking her feet, giggling whenever she’d hit her father or manage to slip her leg out of his grasp. “Na na nooo!” She babbled, absolutely refusing to wear socks. “Minho, come help daddy put socks onto Eunji!” He called out for his son. Pattering of small bare feet could be heard coming from down the hallway. Minho appeared before him, still in his pajamas. “Hold her leg for me.” Seokjin instructed. Togehter they managed to finish up dressing the youngest member of their small family, now being Minho’s turn to change clothes.

Once everyone was finally ready to leave the house, Seokjin got the baby stroller and they were on their way. “Daddy where are we going?” Minho asked, happily skipping by his father’s side. “We’re going to the park again Minnie.” He responded, stopping at crosswalk red light. “The one where the puppy was?” The child asked curiously, tugging on the hem of his father’s shirt. “Yeah, that’s the one.”

“Come on girl, let’s go. Let’s go for a walk!” You said to your dog in a high pitched voice, her tail wagging at a hundred miles per hour from hearing her favorite phrase. She stretched out onto her front legs before quickly making her way over to you, eagerly waiting for you to put on her leash. Same as every day, she dragged you towards the nearby park. As you got closer to the park’s entrance you could hear a grown man’s voice and a child whining. When you rounded the corner Seokjin came into sight, little Minho sat on the side walk looking bored out of his mind while his father seemed to argue with the small child which was sitting in its stroller. Trying your hardest to hold in a laugh, you approached them. “Everything alright sir?” You asked Seokjin, raising and eyebrow. He nearly jumped out of his skin, turning around wide eyed. A small pink sock was gripped in his hand, his hair messy as if he’d been running his fingers through it. Your gaze shifted to the stroller, the little girl inside happily squealed as she tried to take off her other sock, one of her feet already bare.

“You scared me!” He exclaimed, trying to straighten out his clothes and fix his hair. “She doesn’t want to wear socks, it’s driving me crazy.” While he explained the source of his frustration, Minho had gotten up and started petting Bomi who patiently stood by your side. “Maybe just let her be barefoot and keep her lower half covered with a blanket? Always works with my nephew.” You responded, giving him a light shrug. He raised his eyebrows, his eyes lighting up as if you’d just revealed the secret of the universe. He quickly pulled out a small blanket from the storage pouch of the baby stroller, grabbing Eunji’s other sock which she had thrown to the ground by now and stuffing them where the blanket had been. He tucked her into the blanket without any issue.

“Works like a charm.” You said, staring to walk into the park. “Hey wait up, let’s walk together.” Seokjin said, undoing the brakes of the stroller and pushing it after you. “Sure, if that’s what you’d like sir.” Politely you responded, giving a small smile before unclipping Bomi’s leash. “Aish, stop calling me sir, it makes me feel old.” He grumbled, not actually seeming too upset. “You never know, maybe I’m younger than you!” You smiled again, this time genuinely. “Maybe, what year were you born?” You asked, stuffing your hands into your pockets. “You might not believe it, but 1992.” He said with a cocky grin. “Seriously? I would’ve though your birth year would only have three digits.” You said trying to suppress a laugh, causing him the deflate. “Hey! That’s so rude!” He feigned anger before releasing a chuckle against his will. “You are older than me though, I was born in 1995.”

The next day you and Bomi arrived at the front gates of the park at the same time as always. There stood Seokjin and Minho with Eunji in her stroller. “What is this? Am I going to have to put up with you every morning from now on?” You joked with a small smile. Little did you know your words would come true, it became a routine to walk together. Seokjin would always say he goes on the walks for his health, it’s not his fault you and your dog appear every time. You laughed it off with him, but you knew he always waited for you on purpose. It was nice having company, working from home and not having many friends meant you would often become lonely, enveloped in your own cocoon of isolation. Seokjin made mornings more bearable, it was easy to talk to him. It wasn’t only him you’d gotten close to, the kids seemed to love you. He’d tell you about how Eunji would ask where you were at random times of the day and how Minho would want to go to bed as early as possible every day so morning would come faster.

“Hey (Y/N), could I get your phone number maybe?” Seokjin asked one morning out of the blue. “Sure.” You immediately gave it to him, not having any reason to not trust him with it. Later that day you took a chance and asked him to come over with the kids for dinner. You gave him your address and the time they should arrive, asking if any of them have allergies or dietary preferences. You prepared a nice meal, going out to buy apple juice for the kids and wine for the two of you. Tidying up the apartment the best you could, you looked at your wrist watch, in that moment the doorbell rang. You counted to ten, not wanting to open the door too quickly so it wouldn’t look like you had been awaiting their arrival the entire day. When you opened the door your eyes landed on Seokjin who had Eunji in his arms, he was wearing a casual outfit, his hair tidier than usual. Minho was sporting a Spider-Man T-shirt, his pants a neon green and his crocks on the wrong feet. “Wow Minho, you’re looking handsome!” You exclaimed, watching them as they came in and took their shoes off. You offered them slippers, the ones you gave Minho being a tad too large. The meal went smoothly, the young boy talked about his upcoming birthday which he invited you to. Of course you agreed to come, asking him what kind of present he wanted.

The conversation drifted to work, Seokjin told you all about the firm he worked at and the exhausting hours. He talked about not being able to afford a nanny to look after the kids when he had to take extra hours. “I can babysit for you.” You suggested. “Yeah daddy, (Y/N) can take care of us!” Minho exclaimed, seemingly very eager about spending more time with you. “Hm, I don’t know. I don’t think I could ask that of you.” Seokjin said reluctantly, taking a sip of his wine. “Nonsense, I love spending time with the kids. Plus I wouldn’t really feel comfortable with you paying me for it either way so money wouldn’t be an issue.” You argued, adjusting in your seat. “That’s all the more reason why I can’t let you do it.” He said with a stern expression on his face. “Oh come on you old fart, don’t tell me you’re stopping me from hanging out with my best friends!” You joked, pulling a dramatically angry face whilst crossing your arms causing Minho to giggle. “Okay fine, but don’t expect me to be happy about it.” He responded after a moment of consideration, a small smile tugging at the corners of his lips.

Due to your flexible work hours and working from home you were pretty much always available to take care of the kids. It became a regular thing for Seokjin to shoot you a text or tell you on your walks that he needed you to babysit, sometimes he’d have to stay at work extra late and on those days you’d stay at his place till he came. You’d usual put the kids to bed and watch tv in his living room when that happened, on more rare occasions you’d take them over to your apartment and they’d sleep over, Seokjin coming to pick them up in the morning. Today was one of those days when Seokjin had to stay at work late. You were cleaning up the dinner table after feeding the kids, the two of them watching cartoons. “Okay, let’s go and get showered, it’s almost bedtime.” You said, lifting up Eunji into your arms and walking to the bathroom, Minho following closely behind. You helped the two wash up, pulling pajamas onto a sleepy Eunji. Her small fist rubbed at her eyes, barely able to keep them open. “Is someone tired, huh?” Gently you picked her up, placing a soft kiss onto the top of her head.

“(Y/N) come tuck me in!” Minho yelled from their shared room. “I will, let me put your sister to bed first, okay?” You said as you walked into the room, you peppered kisses onto Eunji’s chubby cheek causing her to giggle. Placing her down into her crib you placed her favorite stuffed animal into her arms and tucked her in. “You guys want a bedtime story?” You asked quietly while pulling up Minho’s duvet. He slid into bed, nodding his head tiredly at your question. Pulling out a book from the bookshelf in their room you pulled a child sized chair to the spot between their beds. You sat down with a small huff, before you could start reading Minho mumbled something. “What’s that honey? I didn’t hear you.” You said, looking down at his drowsy face. “I said that I get what daddy says now. You really are pretty.” The child mumbled, this time a bit louder. “What? Your daddy calls me pretty?” You asked, taken aback by his statement. “Yeah, he talks about you a lot. My daddy really likes you (Y/N).” He said, finally looking away from you and up at the ceiling. Your stomach felt like it jumped up to your throat making you release a shaky breath. You stood still for a moment, the child clearly didn’t understand the weight of his words.

Trying to push his words to the back of your mind, you opened the book and started to softly read out loud. With each paragraph the two could feel their eyelids growing heavier, sleep took over them rather quickly. About five pages in you heard a soft snore coming from your side. Realizing they both fell asleep you turned off Minho’s bedside lamp and put the book away. Making your way to the living room you grabbed the tv remote and plopped down onto the couch. You watched some crappy sitcom on low volume, Minho’s words playing over and over again in your mind like a broken record.

Just as you felt yourself drifting off to sleep the sound of the apartment door opening startled you back into full consciousness. You sat up, watching from your spot as Seokjin walked inside. He took off his shoes and threw his work bag onto the floor with more force than needed. His shoulders sagged and his head was pointed to the floor, he clearly wasn’t in a good mood. “Jin, you okay?” You asked, he grumbled something and sat down onto the couch next to you. “Rough day?” You questioned. “Rough day.” He simply responded. “Wanna talk about it?” He leaned back into the couch, silent for a moment. “No, it’s not really all that serious, I’m just tired I guess.” He sighed, throwing his head back and looking up at the ceiling. “If you say so, just know I’ll listen whenever you need an ear to talk into.” You said, turning your attention back to the television. The two of you watched it in comfortable silence for a little while, until the interaction you had with Minho earlier made its way back into your thoughts. Without thinking much, you decided to bring it up.

“You know, I had a pretty interesting conversation with Minho earlier today.” You spoke up, a smirk starting to form on your lips. “Wanna know what he told me?” Seokjin turned his head towards you, humming as an encouragement to continue talking. “He said you talk about me often and call me pretty.” The moment he registered what you said his saliva caught in his throat causing him to start coughing. You patted his back, the smirk dropping from your face. “You okay?” You asked, putting your hand back into your lap. “Yeah uhm, I just uhh well… I don’t know where he got that from.” He said avoiding eye contact, the tips of his ears turning pink. “So you don’t think I’m pretty?” Tilting your head to the side you pouted. “No! I mean yes! I think you’re pretty.” He stammered. “Really? Well, I think you’re quite handsome yourself Jinnie.” You said, a smile making its way back onto your face. “Ah, don’t say that.” He mumbled, looking down at his hands. “Why not?” You quirked an eyebrow. "You'll give me hope, having hope is the worst thing a man can do to himself.” He said through gritted teeth, shaking his head. “Hope? What are you hoping for Seokjin?” Your words made him sigh, his shoulders slumping further. “Nothing, forget it.” He grumbled. “You should go home (Y/N.”

With that said you silently got up and left. Seokjin’s cold demeanor had made a pang of hurt stab through your chest, the worst of it being the confusion he left you with. Not knowing what to make of it you tried going to sleep. Staring up at the ceiling while laying in bed, you thought about Seokjin (against your will of course). ‘He’s tired and stressed from work, sure, but that doesn’t give him the right to be a dick! I guess it wasn’t that mean, but still that shit hurt. I help take care of his kids for free, he’s basically my best friend for Christ’s sake, and still, the idiot comes home and acts like a total douche.’ You thought as you flipped over in bed. Bomi laid by your side, her black eyes barely open. “At least you can never make me mad Bomi. My sweet girl.” Your hand reached up to scratch behind her floppy white ear causing her to let out a low whine. “I know! That’s what I’ve been saying.”

Seokjin had been distant the past couple of days and quite frankly it pissed you off. He stopped texting and calling, reducing your interactions to the bare minimum. You were currently sat in his living room while he ironed out clothes. Deciding to bring it up you ask him why he’s been acting like a prick. “I’m so stressed, you have no idea.” With a sigh he turned off the iron and made his way over to the couch you were sitting on. “Wanna talk about it?” You said as you patted the space in front of you. He sad down and leaned onto the back of your legs. Slowly your hands made their way up to his shoulders starting to massage the tense muscles. “I don’t know, it’s from work I guess.” He mumbled and looked up at you from over his shoulder, your faces incredibly close. You could feel his warm breath on your skin, his face close enough to make out each of his lashes. For a moment both of you were silent, your hands stopped their movements as you looked into his eyes. His gaze conveyed a million words he didn’t have to say out loud, one’s of frustration and exhaustion. The moment was interrupted by Minho running into the room with a plate demanding more snacks. Seokjin got up and took the plate, starting to cut up more fruit for the child.

Once he was done and Minho returned to his room, you watched him lean against the counter and rub his temples. You got up from the couch and walked over to him. The dim kitchen light seemed to make the dark circles around his eyes more prominent, his skin more pale than usual and his dark eyes lacking their spark, overall making him look tired and dull. “C’mere.” You mumbled, pulling him into an embrace by the collar of his shirt. He instantly melted into the hug, his arms wrapping around your waist while he nuzzled into the crook of your neck. After a moment of silence you slowly pulled away, his eyes were trained onto the collar of your sweater, the whacky pattern seemingly more interesting than holding eye contact. Tentatively you reached up and brushed his bangs away from his face, “Look at me.” you softly said, caressing the side of his face with your palm. His gaze slowly traveled up to meet your eyes. Your thumb slowly stroked his cheek bone, your eye contact never wavering. For a split second he looked down at your lips, which of course didn’t go unnoticed. Hesitantly you leaned forward a bit, testing the waters. Just as you were about to connect your lips he stopped you with a hand on your chest. “Let me take you out on a proper date first, please? I want the first time I kiss you to be special.” He murmured to which you let a tender smile slip, nodding your head silently.

Seokjin had an exact idea of how he wanted your first date to go. He was going to drop the kids off at his mothers house and then make your dinner after which he would take you out for a walk and confess all of his feelings. However, one thing he didn’t take into account was the traffic jam he got stuck in on his was home which put him in a time crunch. He started rushing whilst cooking, only half way through with making the meal he heard the doorbell ring. Cursing under his breath he opened the door to reveal you standing in front of it. “Ah, are you early? I haven’t finished dinner yet.” He said as you came in. “Nope, I’m right on time, but I could help you finish up cooking.” You suggested. The two of you spent the rest of the evening cooking together while music played in the background. He grabbed your waist and swayed to the soft melodies as if you were in a romance movie. The dinner tasted amazing, partly because it was crafted by his hands. After chatting a bit he asked to go on a walk. His hand slipped into yours, making you smile to yourself as you walked in silence through the nearly empty streets. “Where are we going?” You asked quietly, as if you were trying not to disturb the stillness of the air. “The park.” Seokjin simply responded, looking straight ahead.

He led you to the park where you first met, you were used to walking through it while the sun was up in the sky, when life was blossoming and moving around you and the city was awake. now it was just the two of you, the only sounds being your footsteps and the occasional echoing of traffic nearby. You sat down on a bench, watching ducks float in a lake, the moons shine reflecting on the still water. Jin grabbed both of your hands and put them into his lap.

“I think it’s time I got this off my chest.” He said, avoiding eye contact. “I like you, like a lot. You know that already, but I don’t think you know how long I’ve liked you for. I remember the day we first met, you didn’t seem all too interested, but the fact that you helped Minho find me kind of stuck with me I guess? I don’t know I mean most people would help a seemingly lost child find their parent, sure, but to me when you did that, it just sort of triggered something inside of me. Are you following?” “Yeah.” You smiled softly, he finally looked up to find your eyes already on his face. “For some reason I just couldn’t get you off my mind, I thought you were so cute. I remember thinking ‘wow, just my type’ when I first took in your appearance.” That made you giggle. “The point I’m trying to make is: I’ve liked you since I first met you and every day I grow more fond of you. I can’t just keep watching you from afar anymore, it hurts to suppress my feeling when they’re so strong. I just want to be with you (Y/N) and the fact that you help me out so much, not just with Minho and Eunji makes me adore you so much more. I can’t imagine my life without you in it anymore, so uhh, will you be mine?” He asked sincerely, looking deeply into your eyes. “Yes Jin, I want nothing more than to be yours.”

Seokjin abruptly stood up and pulled you into a hug. Shocked for a moment you stayed still, your arms floating just above his back before your melted into the embrace, softly dragging your palms down his back. You only slightly pulled away, your arms still around each other. Jin brought up a hand, gently cupping your cheek and looking at you with hooded eyes and pupils blown wide. He was the first to lean in, his nose brushing against yours with the softness of a feather. You stood still for a moment with your eyes closed before he finally joined your lips together. The kiss was so soft and slow it had you melting into it. After a moment you tried pulling away, but Seokjin only tightened his grip on your waist. He deepened the kiss, bringing one of his hands up to the back of your head. He placed one last peck on your lips before finally pulling away. Realizing what he’d done, he quickly let go of you, awkwardly shoving his hands into his jackets pockets. He cleared his throat, “uhm sorry, been waiting to do that for so long I couldn’t help myself.” He mumbled. You only laughed and pecked his cheek, reassuring him it was more that fine.

Seokjin walked you back home, kissing you goodnight as the two of you stood in front of your apartment complex. He tried pulling away, but you gripped the collar of his shirt and pulled him back in, this kiss being more sloppy. Jin couldn’t get enough, the feeling of your lips finally on his making his heart thump in his chest with vigor. “Okay, okay you have to go.” You mumbled against his lips. “Do I really?” He whined making you chuckle. “I don’t know, do you?” You asked, tilting your head to the side with a mischievous glint in your eyes. He looked up in thought, feigning debating it. “Hmm i don’t know, wouldn’t hurt to spend a little more time together right?” “Kim Seokjin you’re and idiot.” You said, lightly hitting his chest.

“Your idiot… right?” He rose an eyebrow. With a small giggle you nodded, placing a peck onto the tip of his nose. “My idiot.” You mumbled, nuzzling your noses together. “Well, I’m really glad I’m your idiot, but I would prefer the term boyfriend.” He said as he lightly pulled away, looking into your eyes with a teasing grin. “Boyfriend? Yeah, I’d like that.” With that said he leaned in for one last kiss.

[devilfic]

❝right place, right time❞

II. of niceties and awkward second meetings.

parts: previously / next plot: bruce makes an offer you actually can refuse... at first.pairing: battinson!bruce wayne x gn!reader. cw: surgeon!reader, secret identities, slow burn, bruce wayne is still a masochist, bruce wayne is ALSO reckless :). words: 3.5k. edited: 2/28/24.

After every surgery—good or not so good—when you’re rinsing off and getting patted on the back for a job well done, you elect to feel hope. And then you hurry to lock yourself in your office and try to catch your breath.

The weight of a life on your hands follows you from room to room, from work to bed, from daydreams to night terrors. Even when it’s good, it rarely ever feels good. Questions bloat your brain: what if there’s something you missed? What if, despite it all, it’s not enough? Is the blood on your hands, then? Is the life yours to save or the patient’s to endure?

There was no solid answer. All you could do was wait for full recovery and try not to let it consume you.

Maybe tonight was a night for Thai. Maybe you’d call up your old roommates and get together at your place. Maybe you could finally tell them about the night Batman broke into your house, and how you stitched up his bullet wound, and then fell asleep 20 feet away because you had to meet Bruce fucking Wayne the very next morning and God help you if you embarrassed your boss by being late. So far, the only person who’d heard about it was the old lady who lived in the apartment below you, and all she’d done is pray for you.

You’d assured her you were fine, but she’d insisted on anointing your doors and windows before you left for work. The “demon of Gotham” she’d called him, herald of vengeance. The fact that you’d saved his life meant that you’d be spared in the reckoning... or whatever little old ladies learned in Sunday school.

Whatever she believed, you had no reason to think you’d be struck by lightning twice. Batman would not be returning to your home any time soon.

The thought almost made you sad.

There was no reason for him to return. Batman probably had a team of doctors waiting to tend to him if his arsenal of weaponry was any indicator of wealth. He wasn’t just any ol’ run of the mill vigilante, that was for certain.

You were just a blip. A freak accident. A glitch in the matrix. The chance that you’d been in the right place at the right time when Batman needed you most was just that: chance. And you were no gambler, but you could bet on your license that that man would never darken your doorstep (or window sill) again.

Maybe you’d stop by the liquor store too on your way home.

You’re rounding the corner when you collide with your boss, frantic as usual.

“Oh! Finally, there you are,” he grips your upper arms like a vice, eyes frenzied as they look you over, “why do you look like that?”

You imagine he’s referencing the dew of sweat on your skin and your scrubs out of whack. “I finished an operation fifteen minutes ago.” You answer, unimpressed. “I was just heading back to my office.”

Your attempt to sidestep him—to free yourself of the shackles that were his hands—proves useless. He spins to keep you in his grip, “You can’t! Not yet.”

“Why not?”

“You have a visitor.”

You frown, “A patient? No one’s on my schedule.”

“I’d like you to make an exception for this one.” His voice drops to a whisper. He readjusts your shirt sleeves as if dressing you up, prettying you for the highest bidder, and that sets you on edge, “Just trust me.”

You almost (almost) flinch away when he pushes you to your office door—now, a looming boulder instead of a gateway to your safe haven. Before you can even ask just who is waiting for you on the other side, your boss is rushing off down the hallway to do God knows what.

As if disarming a bomb, you slowly open the door to peek inside.

It scares the both of you, clearly, if the wide-eyed look he gives you says anything.

It’s like it hasn’t been a week since you’d last seen him. Bruce Wayne is wearing what looks like the same suit he’d worn last time, tie and collar stiff, jacket open underneath his billowy coat. But he looks awkward standing in your modest little office. He looks like he’s not supposed to be here, or at least not without his right hand man and the fanfare to follow.

He keeps his hands in front of him to show you he means no harm, “Your boss said it was okay to wait here for you.”

You’re still bracing yourself against the door, trying to figure out what he could possibly be doing in your office, what he’d possibly be waiting around for you for.

You think about the last time you’d seen him, when you’d grabbed him out of nowhere and his companion (Alfred, was it?) looked like he would have no problem breaking your spine if you dared manhandle him again. Oh God, he wasn’t going to sue, was he?

You swallow, “Uh, right. Can I help you?”

Bruce straightens up. His hands fall to his sides. You search his face to predict his next move but you’re puzzled to find that he’s just as clueless as you.

You didn’t know much about Bruce Wayne, that much had been established. What little you did know was some amorphous figure of nobility, the “prince of Gotham” as the press dubbed him.

Yet, standing before you in your simple little office, Bruce Wayne feels less like nobility and more like a stranger in foreign land. He keeps his hands in front of him and you’re able to make out purple dusting his knuckles. Bruised. Not bloody. Not recently. This piques your interest.

“How long have you been a surgeon?” Is his first question.

You slink into the room and debate on shutting the door, deciding to leave it open a crack; whether it is so you can escape or for him to feel unwelcome, you’re not entirely sure. “Four years. Not including the 12 years of school and residency.”

Bruce perks up just a tad to your bewilderment. “Did you study here in Gotham?”

“I did. I considered Metropolis.”

“What changed your mind?”

“Cheaper tuition.”

“Do you like it here in Gotham?”

“I don’t mean to be rude, Mr. Wayne,” your voice comes out clipped—nervous—all the same, “I just got out of a surgery and I didn’t even know you’d be here so I haven’t got the faintest clue what you want-”

“I’m sorry.” Bruce apologizes, “I can come back another time.”

Come back? You assess his face once more, double checking for any sign of where this conversation is going, “Come back for what?”

For the first time since you entered the room, Bruce takes a step forward. A few, actually, ‘til he’s standing only a foot away and his whole deer-in-headlights deal is on full display. “A proposition.” Your head swims with big ideas. You’re thankful you’re still standing still. “I’d like to hire you.”

If Em could see you, she’d be laughing her head off at the look on your face. The emotions you're hit with are akin to blunt force trauma.

Bruce catches onto your distress and begins to explain, glancing away from your eyes to give you room to breathe, “Due to the nature of my job and the... events that transpired last November, I’m careful about my position in the public eye. I’ve decided to have a doctor on call, someone I can rely on in the event that something drastic happens again. It would be more menial work, but you would, of course, be greatly compensated: full benefits, triple your salary here. Nothing is out of the question.”

As the last word melts in the air, he finally locks eyes with you. Less deer-in-headlights now, more spotlight. More "I eagerly await your response".

You couldn’t even fathom the price point: triple your salary? You already made good money here, any more would be excessive. And then there’s the reality of the situation. You would be employed, solely, by Bruce Wayne. At his beck and call—perhaps moved into a nicer place within chauffeur distance of Wayne Tower—the support staff of the upper echelon.

Your mom wouldn’t bug you about moving out of Gotham ever again.

This all felt too good to be true. So good that your intuitive pendulum swung violently in warning. Bruce awaits your reply, wringing his hands before him and those glaring purple knuckles catch your attention again. How a CEO had managed those was a question you hesitated to entertain. Something else was going on here.

You knew Gotham was a corrupt city. It festered with crime in every aspect, that much the Riddler had made clear last Halloween. The late mayor, the DA, the police commissioner... and amongst his targets, Bruce Wayne had survived. Something else was definitely going on here.

“...I serve the public, Mr. Wayne. I reserve my skill for the citizens of Gotham without the... ability to seek better. I’m flattered you would consider me and I would be more than happy to point one of my talented colleagues your way in my stead. But I’m sorry, I can’t accept your offer.”

Bruce’s face falls for just a second. After all, if he were to wear his emotions on his face all the time, you doubted he’d be much of a successful businessman.

You’re thankful that he takes a step out of your personal space and doesn’t fuss, doesn’t try to shove a wad of cash at you, doesn’t throw more offers at you until you concede. “I appreciate your consideration, but that won’t be necessary. I should let you return to your work. Thank you for your time.”

You nod a little dumbly, the weight of what has just transpired starting to settle fully on you. Em would be far too angry at you to laugh, now.

With the grace of his pedigree, Bruce Wayne nods silently to you and leaves.

You notice once the muscles in your shoulders stop shaking that there’s something in your office that wasn’t there before. There, on the loveseat where Bruce Wayne had waited for you, was a business card.

You shakily approach the seat and collapse beside it, reaching out to read what adorns the back of the Wayne Enterprises logo.

Bruce Wayne CEO P: 212-XXX-XXXX

It takes the clatter of ceramic to pull you out of your reverie.

Beside you, Em hovers, “And here I thought you weren’t a fan.”

At the puzzled look you give her, Em jerks her head toward where your eyes had been focusing, mindlessly stirring in the events of the afternoon. At some point, the TV’s channel had changed from Days of our Lives to the Gotham News. They were running a story on a charity event downtown. Bruce Wayne was shaking hands on camera, the tagline “Bruce Wayne makes dazzling appearance alongside controversial mayor”. How fitting.

“‘m not,” you grumble, pushing your lunch around in yellowed Tupperware, “just thinking.”

“About?”

You glance at Em. Too little too late, your boss had clambered into your office shortly after Bruce left, pestering you about the conversation you’d had, disappointed when you’d told him you’d turned down the offer. “Imagine the press we’d get, one of our very own working for the CEO of Wayne Enterprises,” he’d argued, “you’ve got to reconsider.”

You hesitated to tell your tale again, fearful that you’d suffer the same reaction, but Em was not your boss. She would never let the topic rest. And it wasn’t like you signed an NDA, a truth that had only hit you hours after the fact, “I got a job offer today.”

Em’s eyebrows shoot up, “From West Mercy? Arkham?”

The very thought of working in Arkham Asylum had you abandoning your lunch altogether, “God, no. It was more like... on-demand. Concierge. A very rich patient wanted to hire me as their private doctor.”

“Wow... was it one of your patients?”

“No, I’ve never examined him in my life.”

“Him?” You recognized that tone of voice. A slew of questions were on the way if you didn’t elaborate fast enough.

Besides yourself and Em huddled in a corner, the break room was relatively empty. One of the ER nurses was napping, another engrossed in a game of Sudoku on their phone. You doubted they would hear even if you raised your voice above a whisper.

Quietly, because you clam up at the thought of saying his name out loud, you fish out his business card and slide it across the table to her.

It takes her but a moment to process. First a deep inhale, then her hand slaps the table (the Sudoku nurse glances up at you both and then changes his mind), then she’s gripping at your scrubs and shaking you violently in your chair, “Shut the front door! Please tell me you said yes!”

You frown, “No, I didn’t.”

“Why the hell not? I know you don’t keep up with the times in this city, but this guy is loaded!”

“I do keep up with the times. I just don’t give a rat’s ass about Bruce Wayne. A crime punishable by death, apparently.”

“But why in the world would you want to keep working here when you could be... having lunch on a terrace? Discussing lab results over Pinot Grigio? Jetting off to the Bahamas to check his vitals on vacation?”

You snort, “Exactly what I told him: I serve the public. I’d like to keep it that way.”

“Could always do both.”

You tried to imagine it, for Em’s sake. The terrace lunches, the Pinot Grigio. You imagined the nice apartment from before and the esteem that your boss was sure you could bring the hospital.

And you imagined Bruce Wayne, with a limp. With bruised knuckles. Always looking at you with those big eyes that somehow told you everything and nothing at the same time. Like an open book in a dead language. You thought about the night that Wayne Tower caught fire and the world that had been crumbling down in Gotham had started to feel truly broken. Politicians die all the time, but the uber rich? Even you had watched the sky in horror.

And now that same man had asked you—you, of all people—to be there in case there was a next time.

You thought about the Batman. Would you say yes if he asked you the exact same question?

You hadn’t considered both.

You’re unaware that Em is leaving until her chair scoots loudly across the laminate, “Think on it. Seriously. It’s the opportunity of a lifetime.” Her hand brushes your shoulder fleetingly. Then she’s leaving and you’re left to think again.

It was a bit ironic that his next visit took place as you were perusing apartment listings.

You hadn't seen him get inside your home the first time. He’d just been there, as if he’d always been there and you just never noticed. This time, he doesn’t have the urgency to break in. He waits at your window… staring in at you. No knocking. Not even a muffled “Can I come in?”

You don’t know how he expects anyone to invite him inside their home with those kinds of manners. You set your laptop aside and walk over to the curtains, his figure becoming clearer, more menacing as eyes silently follow you. By the time you reach the window, your heart is beating at an unhealthy pace. You had been able to get that adrenaline down before. How did you manage that again?

Batman waits patiently. Your hand presses to the glass, the warmth of it leaving behind a visible print as you push up on the glass, “Don’t tell me,” his head cocks to the side as you begin, “another bullet?”

If he is suffering from a wound like the last, he doesn’t look it. He’s crouched on your fire escape with his cape billowing behind him and the light of your apartment giving off just enough of an ominous glow.

After last time, you’d sneaked some extra supplies back to your place under the paranoia that something might happen again. And, let’s be honest, no one would raise a brow at having everything you need to clean a gunshot wound in this city. You couldn’t say it was entirely just for him, though.

The silence goes on uncomfortably long. You start to wonder if he even heard you, the way he stares you down, unmoving. He resembles a stray caught stealing from a trashcan, seconds from sprinting in the opposite direction to avoid being caught.

Eventually, your heartbeat spikes again. What had he told you last time? To run if someone tried to break in? Maybe he had wanted you to sprint the second you saw a human looming on your fire escape, regardless of their vague bat shape. Was he angry? He kind of always looked angry.

“Have you noticed anyone following you?” His question causes just the briefest alarm.

Living on the not-greatest side of Gotham, you had learned how to keep your head down but your eyes everywhere. If some mugger were looking to jump you as you got out of your car, you’d know. You shake your head, palms beginning to sweat.

Batman assesses you for a bit longer. You can’t tell if he’s reading you for a lie or if his instincts are just telling him otherwise, but eventually, he accepts your answer.

And begins to leave.

“Wait,” you stutter out against your better judgement, when he’s already stood to his full height, one boot positioned on the railing to propel himself below. He looks over his shoulder at you very slowly, “how’s your... side? Wound heal okay?

He looks down to where you’d stitched him, where his armor had been mended. “It’s better.”

You sigh, relieved. “You’ve gotten it looked at, then.”

“Someone looked at it.”

His wording gives you pause. “What about your stitches? Did you get them redone?” He hesitates. “You... did get them redone, right? Better. Preferably by someone who wasn’t worried about you dying on their living room floor.” Your skin prickles when you see his guilty look. “Batman, if you’ve been fighting crime every night for the past week with the same stitches I put in you days ago-”

“I’ve been through worse.”

“So you keep saying.” You really don’t mean to grit your teeth at him, practically stomping your foot because you’d, at the very least, expected him to be a bit smart about a bullet wound.

But, then again, you were talking to a man dressed as a bat.

You crawl out onto the fire escape, chilly and biting and unforgiving as the night may be, and watch Batman turn halfway toward you. You have to resist the urge to brush your hand against his side, an act far too intimate with Kevlar in the way. You look up at him, “Don’t suppose you’d let me take another look at it?”

The first time, sure, he let you because he was close to dying. With a motto of “I’ve been through worse” at his disposal, you doubted he would let you do it again unless the circumstances were dire.

Sure enough, he moves defensively away from you. You take heart in that it seems less like he distrusts you and more like he’s got a bravado issue. Not great, but better. Easier to fix.

You think of the medical supplies in your apartment and wonder if you’ve got what it takes to coax him inside. “I thought that you might not come again. Guy like you fighting crime every night must have people on hand for stuff like this, right? You’re not just any vigilante. Couldn’t be.” His unsettling glare makes the cold seep into you just a little bit more, “You don’t. Do you?”

He doesn’t answer you. His eyes shift from yours to the cityscape. Looking for a way out, maybe.

But if he wanted to leave, he would leave. Why would he hesitate?

“I just want to look. Make sure it’s not infected. No poking or prodding, I promise.”

“It’s not. I had someone look at it.”

“A doctor?”

“...No.”

“Someone who knows what they’re looking at, at least?”

He looks down at you. There’s something there that he’s keeping close to his chest, too much information for a stranger (even one who’s saved his life). You wait to see what his decision will be. “You work at Gotham General.” Batman states, matter-of-factly.

“...I know you were bleeding to death when I told you, but you’ve got to keep up in this city.” You see a hint of a smile on his mouth that is just as easily written off as a scowl. “What about it?”

Again, that look.

Just as you’re certain that you’re about to break through to something, a siren goes off in the distance. Sure enough, when the both of you look to the sky, his emblem is carved out in the clouds, beckoning him down to the streets once more. Your heart sinks. You were so close.

Batman waits a beat, positioning himself on the railing again. His eyes find yours over his shoulder, cape fluttering with the promise of taking flight, “They’re lucky to have you.”

He leaves. It feels even colder when he does.

[softichill]

The Sounds of Nightmares unofficial transcript

Chapter 1 - The Workers in the Walls

------------

[Click]

[Shifting, Otto clears his throat]

Otto: Yesterday evening marked my first true session with the girl. Signs of significant disorder are greater than I initially thought. Her imagination is… vast. But one phrase in particular has become an earworm of sorts. 

[Click, this time of a tape being inserted]

Recording of Noone: “He was right in front of me breathing hard… That’s what I remember most. The awful smell, like when sausage goes bad.”

[Click, the tape stops]

Otto: Scent while dreaming is a rarity. An indication of sensory transcendence. She may be a fine candidate for a neurological study… but her health must come first. [Sigh] There are undoubtedly other details I missed in her recount. 

Otto: [Deep breath] From the top, then. [The tape begins to rewind] Sleep be damned tonight. 

[Intro plays]

[Click]

Otto: This is the Counselor. Herein are my preliminary case notes for tape #54, session #1, patient #1220… [mumbling] referring to children by numbers… [deep breath, normal] Our relationship goes beyond mere ethics, so I can leave that practice to the heartless quacks on the upper floors. But to remain professional, I’ll use a moniker the girl has given herself… Noone. (A/N: pronounced like noon)

[quiet tapping as a drink is poured]

Otto: Noone has been in CPI care for a fortnight. Given her rather remarkable medical history, her mental state seems relatively unremarkable. [stirring his drink] She finds herself in my ward due to worsening, though not recurring, nightly afflictions. Parasomnia isn’t uncommon among patients; not to imply she’s unworthy of treatment, only that there are others worse off. 

[Otto shifts in his seat and sips his drink before setting it down]

Otto: Noone also displays signs of mild trauma. As such, Nightmare Disorder is possible. Given her diffidence, the focus for this session is to build rapport. I’m hopeful Noone will open up and we’ll learn what lies inside that little head. 

[Ceramic clicking, Otto says “Oh!” at the sound of papers being knocked over. More ceramic, the audio cuts]

[A door closes]

Otto: Take the big chair, Noone. Sit, lie, saddle it like a horse, whatever you please. 

[Otto pulls out paper as Noone sits down. The chair creaks]

[quiet jazz starts to play]

Otto: How’s that?

Noone: …fine I guess. 

Otto: [Walking to his chair] That look on your face says there’s more on your mind. 

Noone: It’s… it’s like the music I used to hear through the walls. In our old apartment. Before we moved into the fancy house. 

Otto: Would you like to talk about that? Your old apartment?

Noone: No, counselor. 

Otto: Alright. An easier question to start. How are you feeling today?

Noone: …Bit sad. 

Otto: For any reason in particular?

Noone: …Um… the red flower… mum and dad left. It went all wrinkled. I tried lifting a petal and… it broke off. But, then I saw why- little crawlies, everywhere underneath the dirt. 

Otto: Aphids? How unpleasant. [shift] Must be hard, here all alone. That wasn’t just a flower to you, was it?

Noone: No, counselor. 

Otto: Y-Your parents only want you to feel like you again. And we’ll see to that! One day at a time. 

[Otto writes something]

Otto: Have you been sleeping?

Noone: Yes, counselor. 

Otto: Call me Otto. Sleeping well?

Noone: …Yes. 

Otto: Noone? This is a place of honesty. The truth, please. 

Noone: …Fine. Middle of the night, I keep waking. 

Otto: And are you perspiring?

Noone: …um…

Otto: Sweating?

Noone: Oh. Uh, yes. And, my heart beats like there’s a- pecking bird in my chest. 

Otto: Did these nightmares coincide with the onset of your sickness?

Noone: No. O-only after. 

Otto: And, do you remember your nightmares or do they disappear come morning?

Noone: I remember. Everything. 

Otto: [pause, shifting] …Would you be alright to tell me about them? Now, or, later?

Noone: Yes. Um… The one I had last night, it’s still here. The feeling. But, may I have some juice? My head’s light, and mum says it helps. 

Otto: (amused) I’m not sure that’s true. Regardless, you may. 

[audio cuts]

[audio resumes. Noone is sipping a juice box.]

Otto: I see you eyeing my painting. I’ve had it since I was a boy. “The Zahir’s Gaze”, it’s titled. 

Noone: Why is it so- blurry?

Otto: It’s a hidden image. The trick is to unfocus your eyes. Try it!

[short pause]

Otto: There! Can you make it out now?

Noone: …no. 

Otto: I’ve got an idea. Keep your eyes on the painting- let your mind wander. Meanwhile, you can tell me your dream! If you’ve finished your juice. 

Noone: [sipping] I have. 

Otto: From the beginning, then. 

[pause]

Noone: …It started when I woke up. Somewhere I didn’t belong. 

Otto: Describe this place, please. 

Noone: Everything was white. Only slowly I realized snow was falling on a field. The view was peaceful looking out from so high up. Like I was… one. With the cold. 

Otto: You felt this cold?

Noone: Not like the counties in winter, but, more like watching someone who is chilled. Around me, but not… in me. 

[the music quietly stops. Ambience for the dream begins]

Noone: I turned away from the window, which was only a hole in the stone wall of the curved passageway, that stretched on a long ways. This- odd feeling, told me to get up. But I couldn’t stand because the ceiling was so low. I crawled ahead and… if not for the tiniest bit of light I would have fallen. Another passageway appeared on the floor. Its edges throbbing in the dark. Suddenly I- I heard a clinking from below. 

Noone: That same feeling told me I was lost inside a giant. A huge one made out of stone, and the only way out was to keep going through its veins. I climbed into the pitch dark,

[Dream!Noone gasps, the sound of sliding plays]

Noone: And immediately began sliding down the icy wetness, going and going, faster and faster. I thought the slide would never end and just- and-

[Dream!Noone grunts as she hits the ground. The sliding stops]

Noone: It shot me out. 

Otto: …Did it hurt?

Noone: …Not like when you fall for real. 

[footsteps]

Noone: I can see what it is now! The painting! A-a tiger, and two moons. 

Otto: That’s not quite right. 

[Noone walks back]

Noone: (with interest) I’ve never seen a tiger before. 

Otto: Keep trying! Remember to unfocus. Continue, as you wish. 

[pause]

Noone: An orange glowing came from a candle. But the light didn’t reach the room’s corners. A tiny hole had been cut out of the stone beside me. “The snow,” I thought. “How nice it would be to watch fall again.” I look through, but there was no snow. [ambience picks up] Only a room, brimming with glass jars. Light danced through them, coming from a doorway on the opposite side. Until… a figure stepped through it. 

Noone: This HUGE man. Wore a long coat and fishing hat. His face kind of… dripped as he watched me. Then he was gone. W- He was an.... I-I can’t remember. It’s the only thing I can’t remember. 

Otto: Could it have been someone you know, your father perhaps?

Noone: (immediately) No. This man doesn’t belong to our world. 

Otto: I don’t quite follow. 

Noone: That’s just the feeling he gave. 

Otto: You keep mentioning this “feeling”. Can you try to explain?

Noone: You can’t understand! Not unless you were there- you just can’t!

Otto: It’s alright, Noone. We don’t have to talk about him. Relax. Breathe. 

[Noone takes 3 exaggerated, slow breaths]

[ambience gets slightly louder. It’s faint, clicking machinery]

Noone: Turning from the hole, I spotted an exit on the far wall. That’s where the clinking was the loudest. I started towards it, when a shadow ran out from the corner, that of a child. I shouted “Hey!”

[Dream!Noone: Hey! Where are we?]

Noone: “Where are we?” But, quiet as a mouse, he climbed through the pulsing exit. And carelessly I followed. 

[Dream!Noone grunts as she hops through the exit]

[Machinery gets louder]

Noone: The room over was bigger. And the child was gone. All over the walls and floors, were more pulsing passages. Like living ant tunnels. All kinds of springs laid about, and little oil cans and strange tools. 

[Dream!Noone gasps]

Noone: Suddenly, footsteps. Approaching, matching the rhythm of the clinking. [sound of a wooden crate] Knowing I didn’t belong I hid behind a wooden box. 

[a hoard of small footsteps alongside the machinery]

Noone: Peeking up, I saw other small shadows entering the room. They step by each other silently. Most passed into different doors, but two stayed behind, searching for the springs. They were not children. Not at all. Even in dim light they remain shadows. Things not quite there, as if forgotten, not wanting to be seen. 

[Things clicking, cracking, and moving around]

Noone: They held nasty tools and… their empty faces showed they weren’t very bright. Both stood, looked down a passageway… and jumped. 

[Dream!Noone gets up and follows them]

Noone: With nowhere to go I did the same, climbing to the platform below. 

[Dream!Noone lands. The machinery is even louder now]

Noone: I finally saw what was making all that noise. Golden, spinning wheels. Fat ones, small ones, skinny ones, and they went down so deep I couldn’t see the end! I didn’t know what they were until that faraway feeling came back and told me. 

Noone: They were gears. With- teeth which locked perfectly into one another, clicking on and on in a song that never stopped. There were a hundred-hundred of the dull little shadows, working to keep the mechanisms going. Felt… without their doing, the gears would surely stop. And the giant would break apart stone-by-stone... But as I leaned over the edge, distracted, my foot must’ve knocked a wrench. 

[a quick clink. Dream!Noone gasps]

[the wrench falls a long way down]

Noone: All the shadows stared up. And a few begin climbing my way. They move separately, but… as one. [Dream!Noone breathing quickly] I panicked and tucked between a set of levers, in the tight space my dress got caught [Dream!Noone grunts] on the tooth of a massive gear, pulled me up and around until my dress tore [tearing fabric, Dream!Noone yelping] shooting me onto a pipe below, where I lost my grip only to hit another platform. 

[Dream!Noone lands, breathing heavily]

Noone: The shadows stopped chasing me, working again as… the yank* took the piece of my dress, now stuck between two gears, causing all the others to slow. 

Noone: While they were bothered, I took the chance to escape. 

[Dream!Noone running, machinery fades out]

Noone: The wall in front of me went… went down and around, f-forever and ever. Along with the mechanisms. I grabbed onto a rod, sliding on, when a big creak [metal groan] groaned above, and the gears went right back to singing their song. 

[machinery starts again]

Noone: The ripped fabric floated down before me, passing by a tiny crack in the stone. Painful cries came through it. [faint echoey scream] I shouldn’t have wanted to know what was on the other side, but… I did. 

[more screaming]

Noone: A small room with chains covering the floor. And 3 identical nun-like dresses, freshly pressed, hanging by a bed. Then, the chains jangled [Chains jingling, man gasping], and my heart stopped. [Man groans] A frail body slumped against the wall, a chain around his neck. He was right in front of me breathing hard… That’s what I remember most. The awful smell, like when sausage goes bad. 

Otto: Hold on a minute, Noone. [Noone gasps. Ambience suddenly stops] You distinctly smelt his breath?

Noone: Not his breath. Him. So rotten, it still stings my nose now. 

Otto: How certain are you?

Noone: You told me to tell the truth, no? I am. 

[Otto quickly writing]

Noone: Do you still want to hear the rest of my nightmare?

[Otto still writing]

Noone: Otto?

Otto: Hm? O-oh. Apologies. My mind was divided, and that’s not fair to you. 

Noone: [quiet sigh] Anyways. 

Noone: Looking through that crack, I realized something. (whisper) I was inside the walls. Like a rat. On the other side was an entire world. (normal) And everything got… w-worse from there. 

[very quiet ticking]

Noone: Lower and lower I climbed until I had gone- down so deep, that there was nothing but steam and darkness. And louder ticking, back, and forth. Back, and forth. Wanting to give up I sat listening. 

[ticking is more noticeable] 

Noone: I’d nearly fallen asleep, when suddenly a small shape crawled out from inside the wall below. “Another Worker came for me,” I thought. But… when they looked up… I saw their eyes. A child. For certain, this time. And… their hair was covered in goo, which made it hard to tell if they were a boy or a girl. Still, I climbed down, full of energy. 

[Dream!Noone climbing down]

Noone: Nearly the amount I used to have. 

Noone: We stood in silence, a moment. Stuck in their hair was… black liquid moving like smoke. 

Noone: “What’s in your-” [Dream!Noone at the same time] I started, [child shushing] but they put a hand over my mouth. Not until they pointed at the wall, did I understand why. Its another crack, led to yet another chamber. 

[Dream!Noone and child walking over. Metallic hammering starts up]

Noone: It was a hideous workshop. All around were… half-made… projects? Built from wood and metal, with all kinds of straps and cranks. Their shapes made my chest tighten. A collection of… masks was- on the shelves with screws and spikes on them, positioned to fit perfectly into a mouth! 

Noone: A tall woman bent over a new project, [faint humming] wearing a familiar dress. Long heavy chains coming out under its tail. [Chains scraping, more humming] She moaned, enjoying herself. I could feel she’d been at it for hours. Her presence alone told that she was the keeper of this stone giant. Of the world beyond the walls. 

Noone: Turning to a pile of scraps… I saw her face. Equally… old and young, and her s-skin stretched back so tight that… only her eyes seemed human. I wanted so badly to know what she was building, and to scream all the same…

Noone: But before I could do either my new friend pulled me away. They pointed up. 

Noone: From between the planks, a shadow studied us. The child pulled my arm but it was already too late. The Worker leapt down besides me, inspecting my body like a tool, reaching out with its wrench. The child pushed me away, [the sound of burning] letting a sliver of light shine out from the workshop to hit the shadow. Faster than fast, it tucked back into darkness, [sound stops] desperate to keep hidden. 

[pause]

Otto: Noone, why have you stopped?

Noone: I’m thinking. …The next bit is hard to describe. The nightmare- it shifted. 

[ambience picks up, earlier sound of machinery]

Noone: Steam reached around us. And we came to a place at the bottom of the gears. Between the walls. 

[whoosh, tick]

[whoosh, tock]

[whoosh, tick]

Noone: In front of us, a long pendulum whooshed back and forth. 

[whoosh, tick]

[whoosh, tock]

Noone: My friend grabbed hold as it swung by. I let it go past one, [tick], two, [tock], three times before finding the courage to do the same. We climbed as the pendulum rocked left and right, making my head dizzy. “Just a little more,” I repeated to myself, until my friend reached out a hand to pull me up. 

[Both Dream!Noone and child grunt as she’s pulled up]

Noone: We’d made it. Finally, the center of the clock. The room was round with a spiral staircase, and a machine made of little metallic fingers, tapping a violent rhythm. 

Noone: The ceiling was a white- clock face, but… all the numbers were wrong. 

Noone: We immediately ran up the stairs [footsteps] and at the top, we stepped out into a courtyard. 

[Dream!Noone and child breathing, stepping on grass. Machinery and ticking fades out]

Noone: My body began shaking as I heard them. [Faint screaming] Shouts and shrieks of pain. All I could do was stare up at the circular walls, which I had just been inside. This was the true building. There were a million rooms like the second one I peered into, all the way up, with- hands and limbs reaching out from between the bars that kept them locked in. My heart pounded like one of them. A Prisoner, trying to get free. 

[Screaming and shrieking continues]

Noone: I shouted “Wait, please!”

[Dream!Noone: Wait! Please!]

Noone: But my friend was across the courtyard. Then, a jingling. The tall woman jumped down from above [jingling, thump] and with thumping steps, she went after my friend. A chain leapt out beneath her dress, like a snake. It caught their leg and the woman dragged the child through the snow, kicking and yelling. 

[child struggling]

Noone: My friend scared to tears [child: Help!] yelled for help, and the woman spotted me. She began plodding my way and fear froze my feet. Getting closer and closer and all I could think was “Who brought me here, and why was I made to know these secrets?!” [chains jangling] 

Noone: With skin so tight her mouth opened only a sliver with blackened teeth inside, hungry for something! …Something that swelled inside me. 

[all ambience cuts off]

Noone: …Then I woke up. 

Otto: …That’s… awful, Noone. I’m sorry. The woman in particular sounds… disturbing. 

Noone: Yes. But, she didn’t scare me most. Not after I woke up. It was the Workers. 

Otto: Hm… because they were mindless?

Noone: No. Because they were hidden. Nobody knew they existed… that’s how I feel sometimes. Since getting the water sickness, (increasing distress) as if things are in my body but instead of making me tick they’re killing me, like the bugs in the flower pot- Ugh, I can feel them in my head!!!

Otto: Noone. Listen to me. I’ll do everything within the limits of my command to help you, but there’s nothing bad inside you. Nothing. 

Noone: …um…alright. 

Otto: [pause] I have… one more question, and I think it’s enough for your first day, okay?

Noone: Okay. 

Otto: Noone, have you ever heard of mutual dreaming?

Noone: Mutual dreaming?

Otto: Sharing the… experience with another person. 

Noone: How could what’s in my head be in someone else’s head? And who would I share it with?

Otto: Questions that have hounded my outer colleagues for years. Your perception of temperature and smell while dreaming is sometimes thought to be an indicator of this transpersonal phenomenon. While I’m not convinced of its ontological validity, I’ve longed to study a case like yours. Unfortunately- I’ve only known one other person to exhibit this faculty, years ago-

Noone: Who? Were they like me?

Otto: …My… (quietly) beloved Cici**... uh- not quite. In any case, my ambitions fell off, I… I lost sight, of… many things. But you’ve stimulated a part of me nearly forgotten. 

Noone: Oh. I think I see it now, Otto. 

Otto: Yes! That’s right! We’re in this together. 

Noone: No. The painting. 

Otto: Oh. 

Noone: It’s a map. Of stars and two circles around it. 

Otto: Yes! Good! An astrolabe, in fact. 

Noone: Astrolabe?

Otto: An ancient instrument, used to locate positions in time and space. Now, surely, you’re exhausted-

Noone: I don’t want to go to my room. To sleep. Will… will you walk me back?

Otto: Of course! And we can’t forget your nightly confectionary. [the sound of wrappers] Here now, take your pick. 

[Wrapper crinkling]

Otto: Sweets for my sweet. 

[ceramic clinking]

[click]

[Outro plays]

------------

*It's a little hard to tell what word she says here

**I have no idea if this is how it's spelled

[remcycl333]

Is putting my awareness on having it the same as feeling it real? I feel like I put too much pressure on trying to feel how I would if I had it in the 3d and that’s where I struggle. I want to manifest moving out and given the circumstances I need it to reflect asap but idk how to feel it real and not panic when the circumstances are all up in my face and taking a toll on me. I’m so sorry if that was a lot, thank you so much for being so patient.

feeling it real doesn't have to feel like happiness or euphoria! sometimes the feeling of knowing doesn't feel like anything. so yes, as long as you're aware of the fact that you have it in imagination, that's enough! i have a friend who manifested her sp, and she said that the whole time she was manifesting her sp she felt anxious about it every day, but she just stood firm in the fact that her sp was hers and it still manifested!

i went through the same thing while manifesting at first. like when i was manifesting my sp a couple years ago, the DAY before he finally reached out to me i was sooo anxious out of nowhere, constantly thinking about how i much be doing everything wrong bc it wasn't here yet, how i needed to start over, how it'd be days without anything, etc, but i'd just talk to myself and be like "no im doing everything right, i already have it, im good, this isn't gonna effect anything bc its mine" etc.

having feelings of anxiety or worry is not a failure on your part, and they won't mess anything up (unless you assume they will). i've read this somewhere, i think it was twitter but i can't remember who said it, but think about anxiety. it's not logical! usually you feel anxious over something that you think will never even actually happen, but you still feel anxious anyway. or i have friends who sometimes say they're super anxious and they don't even know why. i had social anxiety as a teenager and i'd be soo anxious in social settings. what did i think was going to happen? nothing, but i was still anxious for no reason constantly. and my anxiety never manifested, because even i knew it was illogical. it still hindered me in other ways, but it didn't manifest into negative circumstances in my reality!

re-reading your ask i realize u didn't mention anxiety 😭 but im still gonna keep all that in bc i still think you/other people will benefit from those anecdotes! lol

"idk how to feel it real and not panic when the circumstances are all up in my face and taking a toll on me"

in my experience, you don't need to focus on feeling it real constantly! i focus on feeling it real while im imagining, but during the day, i just shift my state when i need to. that being said, there's no pressure to be in the state of the wish fulfilled every second of the day! the main goal is to enter TSOTWF more than the state of lack, but there's also more states you can enter throughout the day! sometimes during the day you're neither in the state of the wish fulfilled nor the state of lack. there's such thing as a neutral state! so if you're panicking and it's hard for you to shift back to your desired state, you can focus on shifting to a neutral state. you can do this by trying to calm yourself down, talking to yourself, meditating, taking deep breaths, etc. if you need to just take deep breaths and think of something else that has nothing to do with your desire, go for it!

if im manifesting something on a time crunch, it always really helps me to just deep breathe and talk to myself, saying things such as "there's nothing to worry about, its mine, it's promised, everything is going to work out perfectly, my 3D is going to change, my inner man already has it and my inner man is me" etc.

i manifested moving out and this was very helpful for me! i dealt with very toxic, narcissistic parents and my family struggled with money for most of my life. sometimes my parents would be yelling at me for no reason and it'd trigger me bc i was manifesting living in my own apartment on my own. in these times i'd focus on remaining calm and staying in a neutral state. eventually it got easier for me and i'd be able to talk to myself in my head while getting yelled at, saying stuff like "im so glad this isn't my life anymore, im so glad i live on my own whew" etc. i'd also imagine that i was just visiting home and i couldn't wait for my visit to be over so i could go back to my own apartment again.

just remember that no matter what happens in your 3D, nothing can stop you from having your desire in your imagination. you moved out in your 4D and nothing can change that! it is fact, and all you have to do is persist in that face. you don't have to gaslight or trick yourself into thinking you moved out in the 3D. you just need to stand firm in the fact you have it in your 4D.

anywayzzz i hope this helps! i hope i answered your question i fear i went on multiple different tangents lol <3

[plutoswrath]

𝕆𝕟 12𝕥𝕙 𝕙𝕠𝕦𝕤𝕖 𝕤𝕪𝕟𝕒𝕤𝕥𝕣𝕪…

To give another side of the story, the assumptions about 12th house synastry being incredibly healing are so true.

The 12th house is our subconscious. If you want an emotional intimate, honest and authentic connection the 12th house synastry can give you just that. I understand why people find it scary, because you need to develop real trust with someone in order to allow them to go there with you and also to have a clear set of boundaries to tell them if there are any lines they possibly can cross or perhaps have already crossed. 12th house synastry is best when both people involved are equally concerned about each other’s well being or generally are concerned about the emotions of others. This sets up a general sensibility that will let the 12th house synastry flourish and feel nice from the very beginning.

The instant intensity and explosiveness of 8th house synastry isn’t given here, most of the time. Usually, the 12th house synastry is more understanding and patient, it gives grace, while the 8th house synastry can be very impatient and demanding, at least if the people involved are of some sort insecure and demand control.

That doesn’t mean one of them is better than the other, both overlays bear good and bad, the synastry you enjoy always depends on your own character, and despite that, both houses are traditionally ‘bad’ anyways lol.

It’s because the 12th house is our subconscious that these people we have strong 12th house synastry with can understand and touch us in ways that no one else can. And the level of trust you develop with each other…’sacrifices’ are gladly done for the other. And we don’t need to jump to toxic examples here, it’s as simple as going out of your way to bring extra comfort or joy to someone, even if it means staying up late for preparations or buying the more expensive bottle of wine. Or simply being extra understanding and patient when your friend is going through it, because you know they’ll bounce back eventually. You really heal each other by caring for and catering to those parts that are hidden and possibly very wounded. The 12th house stores our trauma, so I’d say with 12th house synastry you can actually really healthily work out possible negative habits and responses you developed through trauma in said connection. This synastry will hint you towards and highlight your forgotten, unseen or unnoticed strengths as well as weaknesses.

Let me tell you that these people and you will live in your own little bubble, in the best way possible. These are the people you call soulmate, even if you’ve never believed in concepts like that. Personal experience: I only share really strong 12th house synastry with one person (my and her 12th house are both touched significantly in synastry) and she is not only closest to me out of all my friends but we literally consider no one but each other a soulmate, and she’s not into spirituality or has ever practiced it. But she is very sure that we were meant for each other because the connection is so incredibly healing. It just feels right without being able to fully explain it, so something as magical and mysterious as a soulmate is the only term that fits the dynamic. The devotion is unmatched. When we meet our inner resources get restocked. It’s always painful to be apart for too long for us. It feels too good to be true sometimes and makes us incredibly thankful for each other. We stay humble and graceful together.

[thesirencult]

BRINGING DOWN OTHERS IS LOW VALUE

Today I had the joy of getting a message from a nice young lady who wanted to thank me for my advice and sweetly asked me if I wanted to be friends with her ❤️

This made me understand that having a platform may be a way to share our individual opinions but we should have in mind that, especially on Tumblr, many people come across our content and we have responsibility to correctly and ethically influence them by adding value to their lives.

So, I want to thank every single one of you for following me and sending sweet messages. All 1,205 of you. We are a small corner on the internet and I don't care about appearing "mysterious" and "unapproachable" to my digital friends.

If you have a question/a content suggestion or just want to say "Hi!" don't be shy and use my AMA or private messages. I'll try to answer to all of you.

Also, thank you for being patient with me as I'm finishing up with this exam season and have not posted anything in the past few days. A few of you reached out for tarot readings and a birth chart analysis and we got even closer, so thank you for trusting me with your time, money, hopes and wishes!

I asked the young lady if she wanted me to write a post about something specific or if she had any content suggestions. She told me that she wanted my opinion on "pick-me" girls who bring other women down. She added that it would be interesting to "know how do this girls think". Your wish is my command young lady!

Shall we start ?

After you queens... 👑

Have you noticed something? People who are high value and successful are always eager to extend their hand to other people full of passion and ambition. They become mentors and leaders for other women and men. They set the standard by example. Usually these people are kind hearted, yet know how and when to set boundaries.

All in all, they don't bring other people down, they build them up.

This women and men build ladders for others to climb at the top with them but they know, they have to protect themselves and their loved ones from vultures, because someone can bring you down even if you are thousand meters above them. They just have to pull the rug underneath your feet.

Someone who is high, won't try to lower someone else's value. Someone who is low is not accustomed to the loneliness of the top. They want to surround themselves with other low value individuals to feel powerful. That's the pack mentality and that's why mean girls/boys hang in crowds.

We all had that "friend". She was insecure but always downplayed. She was always jealous of other people and you could see it but you never thought she was jealous of you. Why would she be? When you talked about your crush/business idea/ambitions it was always : "Ew he is ugly.", "Who are you Elon Musk?", "A law degree? You don't even know how to think critically.".

That friend and you fell apart when you started investing in yourself, and that's when the veil fell off and you saw other girls like that.

The pick-me girls.

A couple days ago, I had a "History Of Economic Thought" exam (It's a very interesting topic to research and if a similar class is available to you, I suggest that you take it!). It was the last one I had to take in person.

I felt awful, anxious and tired. Two weeks of hard work, studying everyday, staying up till light came through the blinds and commuting two hours back and forth to and from school had made me emotionally and mentally tired. I needed some loving from my cat Mr. Mau and a toffee nut latte.

I did my 10k steps by the sea and decided to open up Pinterest and make myself feel a bit better. I searched up "fall aesthetic", "studying aesthetic", "toffee nut latte from Starbucks" etc.

Under a pin there was this comment by a girl calling all women who are "obsessed" with fall, Starbucks and cute photos of pumpkins, "silly a** basic white b*tches".

I then went on TikTok and came across a video of a woman who was being shamed for having a 35k engagement ring (you know which one I'm talking about, the one her man, an amazing king ate the interviewer up and left no crumbs). A woman had commented "she is a gold digger and when he cheats on her with a good woman she'll get what she deserves".

Excuse me what ? So a good woman is one who tries to please others by accepting less than she deserves. I'm not one who would want a 35k engagement ring, buy me a 3k one and 32k of gold for investment purposes, but if her men believed she deserved that, then so be it.

Why are you trying to get picked? Do you think men marry the good girl? Do you think any man who will only see you as an innocent, precious lovely angel will be able to take all of you?

These women are playing a dangerous game. They so badly want to get picked and mostly they get picked but for all the wrong reasons. They love how guys on podcasts praise them online for being "feminine". They love the attention of boys who find them cool.

Sweetheart, you need a man who will find your rage and your sweetness sacred.

You need parents who will understand that you have your own dreams, needs and that you are not just an extension of their egos.

These women and the so-called "good guys" (uhh don't let me get started on those") are sad inside. They would love to have your own wildness and freedom. They feel jealous that you are still that magical bitch holding your pumpkin spice latte with a fresh new set and while doing kick boxing on Wednesday afternoon.

Girls, watch some Legally Blonde. It's the literal blueprint 😉 It made me come to terms with my girly nature as a girl who grew up a tomboy.

You don't have to be just bubbly and feminine. You don't have to be just a dark feminine, femme fatale. You can be all of those things because we are multilayered beings. Lastly, we have the gift of metamorphosis. Don't be afraid to transform and break the mold.

[ivarlover]

UNPREDICTABLE

Part 2 (sequel #4 to UNLEASHED, UNDENIABLE, and UNEXPECTED)

Alex + Modern Ivar

Mentions of Female Reader + Hvitserk

NSFW 18+ ONLY

If you're new here and want to catch up, just go to my pinned master list. The first chapter is UNLEASHED, then UNDENIABLE, then UNEXPECTED, and now UNPREDICTABLE...

This was supposed to be just a one-shot, but here we are. At this point, I have no idea how many chapters this will end up consiating of. Hope you enjoy reading it as much as I've enjoyed writing it!🔥

Summary: During a hot weekend with your classmate, Alex, and his best friend, Ivar, the two of them had their own fun together. And now, it had turned into an entire relationship between the two of them that neither of them had seen coming. Now, that reality has set in, they navigate the relationship, and all that comes along with it, the good, the bad, and the unexpected. Now that they were just getting into the swing of things and finding their groove, Ivar's ex fiance comes back into the picture, and it seems she is sure to shake things up.

Warnings, The sequel in general: Totally NSFW, Unprotected anal sex (male receiving), oral, male to male contact and more, a bad case of the feels, language, smut, with me, there is ALWAYS smut. 🤣 Each chapter will have it's own warnings.

This chapter: Language, smut, of course, oral, major case of the feels, *inaccurate medical descriptions, diagnosis, and practices,* a disgusting pervert, Ivar being Ivar

Please leave a comment and let me know what you think!

Words: I don't know, but WAY TOO MANY

*Let me know if you want on or off the tag list!*

Note from me: My apologies for how long this has taken, but hopefully, the length of this chapter will make up for it.... ok, who am I kidding? The length of this chapter needs an apology of its own, too. Oops! Sorry!

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❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

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The last few days had basically been hell: hell for Ivar, hell for Alex, and really, even hell for Katia. Ivar had been trying to be the patient, understanding boyfriend, but the longer he was away from Alex, the angrier he was becoming.

After Alex had left Ivar's that night, Ivar spent most of the night trying to get him to answer his phone. He decided not to drive to Alex's apartment, no matter how tempting, because he knew if he'd been so upset that he'd left without a word, that he clearly needed the time to himself. And besides, he wasn't sure, exactly, why he'd left anyway, because he thought they'd cleared everything up when they were in the car.

He also knew that if Alex was pissed about him getting Katia out of the bathtub while she was naked, he'd have to wait until Alex was calm, because while Katia wasn't someone he wanted to be with, she was still the mother of his child, and Ivy loves her. He couldn't sit back and let something happen to her just because she wasn't dressed. He didn't see her that way anymore and wasn't even thinking about her body. Thus, he knew if that was why Alex left, then maybe it was best they didn't see each other just yet. He didn't want to say anything out of anger that he'd later regret. Just thinking about it pissed him off, and he definitely didn't need to make things way worse by actually telling Alex to kiss his ass if that's what he was mad about. No, he needed a better approach. Surely, Alex knew his feelings for him and how he wanted to be with him and him only.

Ivar had finally talked to Hvitserk and Y/N about it and got some advice. He knew Alex had talked to Y/N about everything by now. Y/N had a way of putting things into perspective for Alex.

"Look man, all I know is that I sure as fuck didn't leave my room or my comfortable bed at your place to come couch surfing a few days between Y/N's and Ubbe's just so fucking Katia would have you all to her fucking self! I'm sure she's over the fucking moon happy, thinking she's won. You better find Alex, and you better fucking fix this!" Hvitserk spat out to Ivar. "Like, how the hell did you even find yourself in this situation to begin with? You should have let her ass go back to Russia, and you could have just flown out there in the jet to see Ivy every weekend, Shit for Brains! If you'd just ever fucking listen to me, I mean, I am the big brother here, you'd be fine! But no, you fucking think you know everything. I'm telling you, you better fix this! That man loves you!"

"Hvits, you know we have the club to tend to on the weekends. It would have just not been possible to leave here every weekend. Plus, who the fuck says I want to only see my child on the weekends? Oh, and Hvits?"

"Yeah?"

"I know you haven't been sleeping on Y/N's fucking couch! Not once!" Ivar laughed.

Hvitserk snarled and...

Snatching the phone from Hvitserk, Y/N told Ivar, "Look, just go to him, what was it, Shit for Brains? Seriously, you two are so difficult and for no reason. Do you know how lucky you are to have found a love like yours? Now, don't piss it away!"

"But, umm, what if..."

"Ivar, stop. You know I've talked to him. Just go. Do you need me to come watch Ivy for you? I will."

Ivar considered it, thoughtfully, "Umm, you seriously wouldn't umm, mind?"

She sighed, "Get ready. Hvits and I are on the way. We'll be there as soon as we can. And yes, we can stay the night if you need us to."

Hvitserk elbowed her, and gave her a dirty look to which she scolded him by simply looking back at him sternly. He dropped his head and smiled. He knew he was whipped.

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"Katia is already sleeping, and I just laid Ivy down. It should be pretty quiet here," Ivar told Y/N and Hvitserk, standing in his doorway about to practically jump out of his skin. "And if you need anything..."

"Yeah, yeah, we'll call you. Go already before I change my mind and take Y/N back to her place and have my way with her," Hvitserk half laughed.

"Yeah, like you won't still do that anyway here in your room," Ivar laughed. "I just ask that you wash your own sheets this time!" Ivar grinned, and patted him on the back.

"Fuck you!"

"Love you, too, brother," Ivar said as he hugged Y/N. "Seriously, thank you, Babe."

"Hey! She's not your fucking babe!" Hvitserk snarled, "Anymore at least. Not since she found the best Lothbrok," he grinned, smacking Y/N on the ass.

"Ok, ok. Enough already. Go, Ivar, and stop stalling. It's going to be ok," Y/N said, shoving him on out the door. Winking at him, she added, "Go get 'em, tiger!"

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Ivar had been gone for maybe 30 minutes. Y/N and Hvitserk were settled and snuggled on the sofa together, watching TV, when they heard the sound of a bell.

"What the fuck is that?"

"Oh, it must be Katia. Alex told me she had a bell to ring if she needed something during the night and Ivar didn't hear the baby monitor," Y/N informed Hvitserk. "Stay here. I'll go check it out."

"The fuck you will! I'll go with you. She's toxic, Y/N. The last thing I need is her getting in your head. And a baby monitor? Really?" Hvitserk seemed to know her better than anyone.

"At least my stupid baby brother had enough sense to make her room downstairs and not on the same floor with his. I can only imagine the shit she'd try to pull," Hvitserk said under his breath as they got to her door.

Putting her finger to her lips, Y/N whispered, "Listen!"

Behind the closed door, they could hear Katia, "Ivar? Ivar, can you hear me? I just woke up from a really bad dream," Katia whinned. "Can you please bring me a glass of water and my pills?"

"Is this bitch fucking serious? Surely my fucking brother is not this fucking stupid and gullible!" Hvitserk's face was of complete disgust. "It's time she learned tonight."

"Hvitserk! Don't!" was all Y/N managed to get out of her mouth before he slammed the door open.

"Ivar?" Katia asked in the dark.

"Nope. Even better," Hvitserk turned on the lights.

Holding up her hands to block the bright light, Katia asked, "Hvitserk? Wh-what are you doing here?" Y/N walked in the room. "Oh and Y/N? What's going on?"

Ivar isn't here tonight, so we're playing nice. What do you want?" Hvitserk grinned, knowing she was shitting gold bricks.

"Umm, well, I had a bad dream and umm..."

"What are you, fucking 12? Roll the fuck over and go back to sleep. You don't need to call Ivar because of some damn dream!"

"Hvitserk!" Y/N scolded him.

"No, you know I'm right, Y/N, and someone needs to set her ass straight." He turned back to Katia, "He let you stay here because of Alex! Ok? Let's not forget that! Alex convinced him it would be better than you leaving for Russia again. And then, without any apparent conscious of any kind, you go and start playing all the stupid games."

"Games? What games? What are you even talking about, Hvitserk?" Katia tried playing innocent, but she quickly realized it wasn't going to work with him.

Walking a little closer to her, Hvitserk answered her, "You know, damn good and well, what I'm talking about."

"But, Hvitserk, I really d...." She began again.

"Whatever. I really don't give a fuck, anyway, so just whatever," Hvitserk cleared his throat. "Now, what did you need? When you thought it was just Ivar here?"

"Umm, I just l need uh, my medicine," she responded, sounding a bit embarrassed. "Oh, and Hvitserk?"

"Yeah?"

"Despite what you may think of me, I do love your brother, and all I want is for him to be happy."

Y/N name tried to step in front of Hvitserk, but he was too fast. He bent down above Katia, pointing his finger at her, "If that was true, you'd leave him alone. Anyone, who has any sense at all, can see my baby brother is happier than he's ever been. Like it or not, he's in love with Alex, and you, of all people, should know that when Ivar loves, he loves hard. Why would you want to destroy that? You've had your chance, Katia."

"But how can you be so sure Alex can make him happier than I can? He can't provide Ivar with a big family, like he's always wanted. I can."

"Well, for fucking starters, he's never lied to him or manipulated him. He doesn't play games with him and toy with his emotions. He just loves him. Simply. Maybe you could learn a thing or two from him, actually."

"But, Hvitserk," Katia began.

"Ok, that's enough, you two. We're obviously not making any progress like this," Y/N said, finally interrupting her. "Hvits, could you please go get her a glass of water?"

Katia was relieved that Y/N had intervened, "Thank you, Y/N. I'm not sure how much more of that I could take."

Knowing Katia had assumed wrongly of her, Y/N quickly replied, "Oh, just because he left the room doesn't mean you're in the clear. Look, he's right, and you know he is. If you truly love Ivar as much as you say you do, then finally do something selfless for him for a change, and just let him go. You know he's happy. That's why you're doing everything in your power to destroy it, and look, I understand. He's a pretty magnificent man, but you need to come to terms with the fact that your time has passed, and move on." Y/N stared straight into Katia's eyes, making her uncomfortable and causing her to look away. "Katia, I'll be straight forward with you, here," she grinned, "The truth of the matter is, I'm sick of your shit! Period. And where the boys, Alex, Ivar, nor even Hvitserk, can do anything to you, you know they'd never lay a finger on you, I can. It's not beneath me to resort to violence. So, let that sink in, why don't you?"

Hvitserk came in with the glass of water. "What the hell did I miss?" he asked as he saw the scared look on Katia's face and the snarl across Y/N's.

"Oh, nothing," Y/N looked away from her to Hvitserk. "Katia was just saying how sorry she is for all the trouble she's caused." Looking back at Katia, she asked, "Isn't that right, Katia?"

Katia swallowed, her mouth dry, and reached for the water from Hvitserk. "Oh, umm, yes? I guess?" She took her pills and drank nearly all of the water.

"Good. Now, all you need is to stop calling Ivar over a fucking dream like a little girl, and pull your shit together. Good night," Hvitserk said as they walked to the door, and he turned the lights back off. "You can still call if you need anything," he said as he began to close the door, "But, it sure as hell better be something real that you actually need and not some crybaby shit!"

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Ivar got out of his car and leaned back against it, looking at Alex's front door. He started to walk toward it, but then he turned back to his car. He did that at least two more times. What if Alex was still mad? Or worse, what if Alex didn't want to see or talk to him? He knew he couldn't handle much more heartache. He was worried Alex had finally saw what he'd always felt, that he wasn't good enough. He held his head down. What the hell was he even doing here?

He turned around to his car again and opened the car door.

"Are you going to come in, or are you going to dance around in my front yard all night like a mad man?" Ivar heard from behind him.

Ivar turned around, "Oh, umm, Alex. I-I'm, umm, I was just..." Ivar stumbled over his words.

"Pacing a hole in my yard?" Alex half laughed. "Well? Are you gonna come inside?"

Ivar looked up, blushing, "I, umm, I'm sorry. Yes. If that's ok with you?"

Alex motioned at the open doorway, "Ya think?"

Ivar smiled and went to the door. He walked inside and gently closed the door behind him. He stood there at the front door, looking around nervously.

"I won't bite, ya know?" Ivar heard Alex from the kitchen. "I mean, not unless you want me to." They both laughed, and Ivar's nerves eased a little. Alex stuck his head around the corner, "Come in here with me."

Ivar walked into the kitchen and found Alex at the counter with the blender. He sat down on a stool.

"I was about to make some mixed drinks. Want one?" Alex looked at Ivar tentatively.

Ivar swallowed loudly, "Umm, yeah. Uh, yes, please." He watched Alex as he turned around and made the drinks. Alex always made some of the best mixed drinks. He was actually known for it at the bar.

He moved around in the kitchen with flow and ease. He turned back to Ivar for a quick moment and smiled a smile that could only be compared to that of an angel. Damn, Ivar loved that man! He had to make this right.

Alex poured the drinks and turned to give Ivar his. As Ivar grabbed the drink, his hand landed on top of Alex's. He didn't move it but continued to hold onto Alex's hand as they sat the drink down and stared into eachother's eyes. As they let go of the glass, Ivar held Alex's hand in his and never turned away from Alex's gaze.

Holding onto Alex's hand, Ivar pulled him around the counter until he was standing in front of him, still sitting on the stool. He put both of his hands around Alex's waist and pulled him a little closer.

"I'm so sorry," they both blurted out at the same time. "You can go first," they both said, again, at the same time, smiling.

"Ok, ok can I go first?" Ivar asked. Alex nodded his head yes.

Ivar ran his hand through his hair, "Look, Alex, I'm unbelievably sorry for everything with Katia. I promise you that I don't love her anymore. You should know this by now. I only want to be with you. I didn't mean to hurt you, and I hope you can forgive me." Ivar placed his hand on Alex's cheek, and Alex leaned into it before placing his hand over it and gently squeezing. "I'm sorry for how things must have looked. I'm so sorry. But, Alex, I don't want her. I don't love her."

"But it just looked like you did and..."

"Alex, she's the mother of my child. That's all. It's not like that. I..." Ivar interrupted.

"Ivar, let me finish." Alex dropped his head. "It just looked like you did, and Katia knew how it would look, so she just made it worse by rubbing it in my face. I'm so sorry. I overreacted, and I know that. That's the reason I left. I knew I was overreacting, but I couldn't help it, and I didn't want to say something I'd regret." Alex swallowed nervously.

"I do know you better than that, Ivar, and it's embarrassing how I acted, how I let her get under my skin. I hope you can forgive me. It was my idea to move her in, and you even warned me, and then, I turned around and still let her get between us. I'm so sorry."

Ivar was completely stunned. "I, uh, th-this isn't, umm, this isn't exactly how I thought this would go."

Alex stiffened and stepped back away from Ivar. "Oh? I'm uh, I'm sorry."

Ivar stood immediately, recognizing that Alex misunderstood him. "No. No, Alex, that's not what I meant. I, umm, I mean that umm, I was worried that you were still mad with me," he dropped his head in shame. "I know it's just a matter of time before umm, before you finally realize that I'm," he continued to stutter, "That I'm umm, just not good enough, Alex."

Alex stepped back to him, "For what? For me?"

Blushing, Ivar nodded.

"You can't be serious. Of course, you're good enough for me, Ivar! I was mad at you. That doesn't mean I'm no longer mad about you. It doesn't mean I don't want to be with you, or that I don't still love you." He placed his hand under Ivar's chin and raised his head back. "Hey, look at me."

Ivar looked into Alex's eyes, and he instantly pulled him to his chest, his arms wrapping tightly around him. "I love you. I love you so much," he softly said into Alex's ear. "Thank you for loving me." Ivar's heart swelled inside his chest. Saying that he was relieved was an understatement. "What did I ever do to deserve you?"

Alex pulled back from Ivar and held his face between his hands before leaning in to kiss him. His lips softly grazed Ivar's as they let out all the love and emotion he was feeling.

The unspoken words between them flowed effortlessly through their movements, soft kisses, and gentle touches. Completely lost in eachother, they held eachother tightly, breathing eachother in. "Damn, I've missed you," Ivar whispered.

Alex smiled, "As I have you. I don't want you to leave, but how long can you stay?"

"Y/N and Hvits are at my place. I can stay as long as long as you want."

"Umm, would you, uh, do you want to stay the night?"

Grinning, Ivar answered, "I thought you'd never ask. Of course."

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Both in sweatpants, they crawled into Alex's bed. His head in his hand, propped up on his elbow behind Alex and looking down at him, Ivar softly spoke, his voice small, "Umm, Alex?" He leaned down and kissed Alex on his temple.

"Yes?"

"Umm, would it be ok if we just laid here together, and I held you in my arms?"

Alex's heart skipped a beat. "Of course. You know that's my favorite way to fall asleep."

"Well, umm, I just mean, well, I didn't want you thinking I'm just after one thing. I just want to hold you."

Alex turned in his arms and raised up and kissed him on the cheek. "After all this time, still worried about my virtue?" He placed his hand on the back of Ivar's neck, smiling.

"It's not that I don't want you," Ivar smiled back. "God knows I do. And I hope I don't disappoint you, but more than that, I've just missed you," Ivar blushed.

Alex pulled him closer and gave him a quick peck on the lips before turning back around in his arms, "I've missed you, too, and I can't think of a better way to sleep. I love snuggling with you. It'll have to be better than the last few nights."

"Oh? You, too? I haven't slept at all the last few nights," he ran his hands through Alex's hair. "Actually, I'm quite exhausted."

"Then you better get some sleep, Mister. We have a birthday party to finish planning," Alex squeezed Ivar's arm, wrapped tightly around his waist.

Warmth spread throughout Ivar's body. Alex truly was an amazing man.

As they laid there, wrapped in a blanket of love, they both finally dozed off to sleep.

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Surprised, Ivar woke up the next morning to find Alex still sleeping. He glanced at the clock and noticed it was 9 am. He never slept in.

As if sensing Ivar was awake, Alex stirred in his arms. "Good morning," Alex mumbled.

"Good morning, sleepy head." They both gave a chuckle.

Alex turned, facing Ivar and kissed him. "So the clock already struck midnight, and you didn't run away, so what's on the agenda? Do you have to leave yet?" he laughed but then saw a more serious look on Ivar's face.

Ivar grinned as he pulled Alex into a kiss and then pulled away. "Well, first," he kissed Alex's cheek, "I thought," he kissed Alex's neck as he rolled over on top of him, "We could," he nibbled Alex's ear and then whispered into it, "Make up for some lost time," and he lightly bit the side of Alex's neck just below his ear, sending chills all over Alex's body.

"Oh-ok," Alex said, surprised.

Ivar raised up above him, "Is that ok with you?"

"Definitely," he reached to the table beside the bed, as Ivar rolled to his side, and took the pills. "You have a few minutes to wait, though, don't you?"

"Of course," he smiled lovenly. "I wanted to run something by you anyway."

"Shoot," Alex ran his fingers along Ivar's bare chest.

"Well," Ivar looked down at Alex's hand, "That may be a bit distracting, but I'll do my best." He smiled and grabbed Alex's hand and brought it to his mouth where he kissed his palm. "You know how we were discussing remodeling my basement and making a playroom for Ivy?"

"Yeah?"

"Well, what would you think of making our own playroom instead? We could use one of the spare rooms upstairs for hers. I mean, she's small and wouldn't need the entire basement anyway."

"What do you mean" Alex's eyes widened, "By our own playroom?"

"Exactly what you're thinking," Ivar smiled his devilish grin. "An adult 'playroom,' if you will, for just the two of us. I'd add a keypad with a pass code to get in, and the door would lock automatically behind you. Only the two of us would have the code so we wouldn't have to worry about anyone coming in on us."

"Wow! Aren't you the naughty one! So if it's a playroom, what kind of 'toys,' would we have?" Alex asked as his curiosity grew. He grabbed a handful of Ivar's ass and squeezed. "Would there be toys I could use on you?"

Ivar gulped, "Umm, we could uh, talk about that. And umm, we'd obviously, need a bed and..."

"Not necessarily," Alex's hand moved around to the front of Ivar and grabbed his already hardening cock through his boxers. Ivar's mouth dropped open with a gasp. "We could always use the floor," he began working Ivar through his boxers, "Or the wall," he breathed hot air against Ivar's lips. His lips brushed against Ivar's as he spoke, "And isn't there some kind of work bench already there?"

"Umm humm," was all Ivar could manage to say as the heat rushed through his body.

"Well, we could use that, too. I'd really love to bend you over it." Alex laughed into his ear. "What was that?" he gently slipped his hand inside Ivar's boxers and grabbed him tightly again. "Was that a yes?"

Ivar only breathed heavily, not exactly capable of producing words as Alex's hand moved briskly along his shaft. "Like that, do you? It's been too long, humm?"

Ivar, shifting to his side, managed to reach to his waist with one hand and slip his boxers down and Alex helped him take them the rest of the way off as Ivar's heartrate increased. They then repeated the same with Alex's. Ivar moved back above Alex, caging him with his body and lubing himself up and then Alex.

As he looked down into Alex's eyes, he said, in a sultry voice, "You talk a big game. Now, it's my turn to try to render you speechless." He lined himself up with Alex's twitching entrance.

"Oh? You promise?" Alex flirted.

And with that, Ivar thrusted his hips forward, hard, straight into Alex all at once, only stopping once he bottomed out. Alex's back arched, his eyes closed as his head dug into his pillow, and he yelled out, "Oh, God!"

"No, it's still just me, Ivar, but I can understand how you could be easily confused," he answered, his evil grin looking back at Alex when his eyes sprung open.

Alex smiled at him and rubbed his hand down his back, sending chills all over him.

Ivar began slowly rocking his hips forward and back languorously, watching Alex's every expression. Feeling embarrassed, Alex covered his face, but Ivar grabbed his hand. "Don't. I want to see your beautiful face," Ivar's voice was soft. Alex felt heat rising to his cheeks. "Nothing is more sexy than knowing your pink cheeks are because of me." He placed his hand on Alex's hot cheek as he leaned down and softly kissed his lips, gently nibbling on the bottom one. "I love you."

Alex was taken back by Ivar's tenderness. Although, Ivar was usually like that with him, there was something sweeter about this that Alex couldn't quite place.

Suddenly, Ivar's movements stopped, "What's wrong, Love? Did I hurt you? Are you ok?"

Alex brushed Ivar's hair back out of his face and tucked it behind his ear lovenly. "Nothing is wrong. Actually, I'm kind of perfect, umm, and it's all because of you. Don't worry. And Ivar?"

"Yeah?"

"I love you, too."

Ivar suddenly felt different somehow. He wasn't sure what was happening, but he knew he just wanted to please Alex. That's all that really mattered to him; not even his own pleasure and release, and that was new to him during sex. He'd always wanted to please Alex, but this was different because he wasn't the least bit concerned about himself.

He slowly began his movements again, never taking his eyes away from Alex's. With every slow stroke into Alex, he just enjoyed the closeness. He interlocked his hand with Alex's that was laying beside him as he rubbed the side of it with his thumb. He held most of his weight on the same elbow as his other hand feathered across Alex's chest, causing goosebumps to appear.

"I can't get enough of the effects I have on your body," Ivar smiled. He ran his fingers lightly across Alex's chest again, admiring, not just the definition, but the flushed red color. "It's intoxicating." All the while, his soft touches were driving Alex wild with desire.

His steady, long, slow stokes into Alex were building the tension in Alex's gut and he knew he was close already. "Maybe you should go a little harder or faster," Alex moaned. "I don.., umm, I don't know how much longer I can last and I want you to finish, too," Alex practically growled the last part.

"Don't worry about me. I'm fine. Just let go. This is about you, not me. I just want to pleasure you. I'm not worried about myself, Love."

"But, Ivar, you deserve to..."

"Shhh," Ivar's lips crashed into Alex's with overwhelming passion. Alex grabbed a handful of Ivar's hair with his free hand and held him forcefully in place, not wanting to break the kiss. They breathed eachother in as their lips massaged the other's. Ivar's hand trailed down Alex's torso to his swollen, throbing cock.

Alex quickly moved his hand out of Ivar's hair and grabbed Ivar's wrist to stop him. Breaking their kiss, he studdered, "N-Not yet. I-I'm too close and sensitive. I want this to last as long as it can."

Nodding in agreance, Ivar moved his hand back up Alex's sweaty chest, stopping to squeeze his nipple between his fingers. Alex's eyes rolled into the back of his head. Ivar continued his feather like touches back up to Alex's cheek, where he rubbed his thumb across Alex's mouth, his plump lips popping lose beneath Ivar's thumb. Smiling at how red his lips were from the kissing, he did it again.

He stared into Alex's eyes intensely, while still slowly moving himself in and out of Alex as his tight walls clinched around him.

Alex took a moment to let his mind wander. He knew that would help him last a few minutes longer, too, and God knows how he wanted it to last! He was enjoying how good he was feeling just a little too much.

He hadn't thought, before now, how erotic it could be with Ivar if they did it all this slowly. But he was surprised. As wonderful as things had been with Ivar, he always remembered how he was when it came to sex. Alex remembered, on more than one occasion, actually, how Ivar had even skipped eating because he was going to have sex with some girl and getting off had always been one of his main priorities.

This was why everyone was so shocked when he'd settled down with Katia. Nobody could believe he was giving up all the one night stands. If Alex was being honest, that was even one of his worries about Katia now. He knew how important she had been to Ivar for him to have given up all that scattered ass.

Now, for Ivar to say he was only concerned about pleasing him and wasn't even worried about himself, Alex knew that it was a major deal. As he thought about the significance, he realized just what Ivar meant by it. He began to really understand just what he meant to Ivar, and he was overcome with emotions. He held back his full emotions, though. He knew that tears during sex with Ivar would not go over well.

He squeezed Ivar's hand, and as Ivar asked, "Are you sure you're ok? Do you need me to stop?" But, not answering Ivar, Alex pulled Ivar to him, hot and sweaty, naked chest against hot and sweaty, naked, chest, and kissed Ivar.

First, he gently grazed his lips, still looking deeply into his eyes, but as he got a taste of Ivar's sweet mouth, he parted his lips with his tongue and let it enter Ivar's mouth to explore. His hand held the side of Ivar's face as the intensity of the kiss increased and their passion grew.

Their breathing sped up, and Ivar reached down between them and grabbed Alex again. He began moving his hand up and down on Alex's length in rhythm with his thrusts, causing Alex to thrust his hips up into Ivar. Alex broke their kiss as he moaned and groaned with pleasure.

Ivar watched intently as Alex's body whithed beneath him, and his face contorted. Alex clawed down Ivar's back, causing his pumping to falter, and his head fell forward, as Alex mumbled out, "Ivar!" between panting.

Ivar continued with his relentless slow movements of hips into Alex as Alex gasped for air. Alex found it so incredibly erotic when he opened his eyes to find Ivar still staring him down as if he was going to devour him like his next meal. His heart skipped a beat. The fierce look in Ivar's eyes made Alex sweat as his toes curled, his legs stiffened, and his back arched again. He dropped his hand from Ivar and gripped tightly into the sheets as his other hand squeezed Ivar's, threatening to stop all blood flow to Ivar's fingers.

Ivar smiled and bit his lip as he realized just how beautiful Alex was as he was coming completely undone. He watched Alex's every muscle tighten and twitch as he slowly drove into him before pulling nearly out and then slowly doing it all over again. He continued to tug on Alex with his sweaty hand acting as lube, his knuckles brushing against Alex's stomach, causing Alex to gasp. As he pressed himself into Alex, inch by inch, Alex made noises that even Alex, himself, did not recognize.

Ivar had never seen a more attractive sight than Alex laying beneath him, squirming and whimpering, unable to form a complete, coherent thought. As he grinned at how he had, indeed, rendered Alex speechless, Alex moaned out, "IVAR! I'm com-coming!" as his chest heaved, and his hand practically dug a hole into the mattress. After reaching his boiling point, Alex's eyes rolled into the back of his head as he lost all control and before he knew it, white streams of his cum shot between their hot, sweaty bodies. Alex started to apologize to Ivar, but Ivar collapsed on top of him, still inside him and ignoring the mess between them, and kissed Alex with overpowering emotions. Alex felt the mixture of love and desire, passion and extasy all wrapped up in the sweet kiss.

Resting his forehead against Alex's, some hair stuck to the side of his face from sweat, Ivar barely broke the kiss and breathed Alex in. He let go of his grip on Alex's hand, and he brought both of his hands to either side of Alex's face. Pushing Alex's hair back away from his face repeatedly for a few seconds, Ivar stared into Alex's eyes again for a long moment before kissing him softly again. Alex's heart melted at Ivar's intense tenderness. It was truly the icing on the cake.

"That was amazing, Love," Ivar softly spoke, almost in a whisper, as he broke their kiss.

Alex cupped his cheek. Desperately trying to catch his breath, he began, "How can you even say that? You haven't had your turn yet." Feeling Ivar still hard and still inside himself, Alex then added, "You know, just because I've already finished doesn't mean you can't keep going. I can handle it."

"Shhh. I told you, this isn't about me. I'm fine. It was amazing just watching you. I enjoy seeing how you react to me. I just wanted to please you."

"Oh, so it's just a power trip for you, humm?" Alex smiled jokingly and then gulped when he saw Ivar's serious expression spread across his face.

"No. I umm, I just love you that much," Ivar dropped his head into the nape of Alex's neck and then turned and kissed his neck with his hot, wet lips. "I just love you."

Alex immediately wrapped his arms around Ivar and held him tightly, "And I love you." He knew he'd think about this entire thing later and analyze the shit out of it. It was so much more than just hot sex with his hot boyfriend. But for now, he'd just enjoy his wonderful, vulnerable, hot boyfriend laying in his arms.

Wild emotions ripped through Ivar like a storm. Of all of the incredible sexual moments he'd had with Alex before, this was, by far, the most unbelievable. And yes, how odd that he hadn't even had his turn, as Alex had put it, but it wasn't even important to him! He just laid there, tightly snuggled up in Alex's arms, and that's all he cared about right now.

Interrupting Ivar's thoughts, Alex, asked, "Hey, all those questions if I'm ok? What about you? Are you ok? You're kind of worrying me."

Ivar raised his head so he could look at Alex again, "I am wonderful, Love," he smiled, warmly. "Umm, you make me, umm," he studdered, "You make me the man I've always wanted to be."

Alex was speechless. Again. As Ivar continued, "Just let me lay here with you. Just let me hold you and just breathe you in."

Alex let Ivar's touching words wash over him like a warm spring in chilly air. He held Ivar even a bit tighter, unable to respond to such tenderness with words. He kissed the top of Ivar's head and ran his fingers through his hair as Ivar snuggled back into the nape of his neck.

They laid like that until they both slowly dozed back off to sleep.

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To their surprise, they didn't wake up for another hour or so. After more sweet caresses and gentle kisses, they showered and got dressed for the day. It took a lot longer than usual because they just weren't able to keep their hands and lips off of eachother. It was like it had been during their first days of being a couple, taking every and any opportunity to touch and feel the other.

"I don't want this to ever end," Ivar smiled shyly at Alex as his face flushed light pink.

"Well, it doesn't have to," Alex responded with a sweet kiss to Ivar's cheek.

Ivar had spoken with Hvitserk earlier. He and Y/N had decided to spend the rest of the weekend with Ivy while Sara worked with Katia. Taking their turn to spoil her was how he'd put it. They'd also volunteered to work at the bar for he and Alex that night. "Y/N thinks you guys just need some more alone time."

Ivar had been concerned about Hvitserk working so closely with alcohol, but he reassured him that he'd be fine because he'd be distracted with the work, and he would have Y/N there for extra support. Only after speaking with Y/N directly and giving her very specific directions did Ivar finally agree to it.

"So, we have the day together? That's awesome! We've finally got some time to ourselves. What do you want to do?" Alex asked him, excitedly.

Ivar raised his eyebrows and grinned at Alex.

Shocked, Alex answered, "You can't be serious."

He walked to Alex, put his arms around his waist, and yanked him to him forcefully as Alex tried to catch his breath. He gave Alex a light kiss, "First, I want to do, again, what we did this morning." He smiled and kissed him on his cheek. "Then, I suppose, we could go see what's going on in town, if you want." He lovenly kissed Alex's jawline. "After that, I want to take you out to dinner somewhere nice," he licked up the side of Alex's neck. "And then, I want to BE dinner. Nothing too crazy. What do you think?" They both laughed.

Alex then realized how very serious Ivar was as their lips smashed into eachother's, their hands interlocked, and Ivar was slowly walking him backwards, toward his room.

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After they spent the rest of the morning in Alex's bed, enjoying eachother, they finally emerged from their blissful haze and actually left Alex's. There was a carnival in town, so they decided to go check it out.

They felt like teenagers again. They played games, ate too much carnival food such as cotton candy and funnel cakes, and, after much convincing that the rides were safe on Alex's part, rode a few of the rides.

As they were in line to get drinks after their last ride, they ran into one of Alex's and Y/N's friends from class. He was with his sister and her two children. "Hey! Alex! How are you? Who is your friend?"

Alex introduced them and they chatted while in line. He was surprised that the two of them were there, but without a kid.

"So the two of you just came to have fun by yourselves?"

Ivar, feeling, surprisingly, a bit territorial of Alex for a reason he couldn't quite pinpoint, answered, holding up their interlocked hands, "Well, this is kind of a date weekend for the two of us. Our daughter is with my brother." He smiled devilishly, and Alex didn't miss it.

Alex was shocked by Ivar's choice of words when referring to Ivy. "Our daughter." It made him feel especially warm and proud.

"Oh, umm," Alex's friend, Paul, answered, "Alex, I umm, I didn't know you were, umm.."

"In love?" Ivar interjected with his intimidating smirk.

Paul looked at Ivar and then back to Alex, "And wow, you two have a child?"

"Yes, her name is Ivy. Her birthday is actually this upcoming week," Alex answered, hoping to calm whatever was going on with Ivar.

"You should come to her party, and bring, who is that? Your children?" Ivar interrupted, to Alex's complete surprise.

"No, they're my niece and nephew and that's," pointing to the woman with the kids, Paul continued, "My sister. My boyfriend and I actually just broke up because he wanted children, and I don't. You guys don't think you're too young to already have a child yourselves? Doesn't that interfere with your relationship? And which of you is her actual, real dad?"

Ivar grinded his teeth together, showing his clinched jaw, and looked to Alex to answer, knowing it was best he didn't at the moment.

"Like Ivar said, she's both of ours. We're both her real dad," Alex squeezed Ivar's hand. "And no, we're not too young. This means we're still young enough to play with her. And she's part of our relationship. She makes everything between us even that more special. I'm sorry you didn't want to experience that with your partner." He raised Ivar's hand that he was still holding and kissed the back of it.

Ivar felt so proud of how Alex answered Paul's questions. Seriously, who did this guy think he was? With his most intimating smirk, Ivar asked, "So, you think you'd like to come to the party next Saturday?" quickly changing the subject.

"I'll talk to my sister and let you know Monday in class, Alex?" Paul finally got the hint.

"Sounds great and I'll bring you an invitation."

He walked away, and Alex turned to Ivar, "What was that all about?"

"What do you mean?" Ivar played innocent.

Alex just looked at him. "What?" Ivar smiled.

"You know exactly what."

"Well, it's obvious he wants you."

Shocked, Alex answered, "What the? Huh? No way! We're just friends. And I didn't even know he was interested in men until right now. "

"Yeah, and now that he's seen you with me, he thinks he has a chance," Ivar snarled.

"Ivar, you seriously have nothing to worry about."

"Oh, I know," Ivar grinned, "I would have never invited him to Ivy's party if I'd thought otherwise." He kissed Alex on the cheek.

"So you were serious?" Alex asked incredulously.

"Of course. You know, keep your friends close and all that shit?" Ivar laughed.

Alex rolled his eyes and took the drinks from the cashier as they walked away. "So Ivy's our daughter, humm?"

Taking his drink, Ivar asked, "Well? Isnt she?"

The rest of the day, into the evening, was spent with them just enjoying eachother's company. Ivar watched Alex's joyful smiles and giggles, and grabbed him up, completely off his feet, to hug him several times. His playfulness was contagious, and Ivar couldn't remember the last time he'd felt so carefree and happy.

He watched Alex play some of the games and how frustrated he'd get when he didn't win. It was really cute. Alex play punched him in the arm, "Stop laughing at me! It's not funny."

Ivar grinned, "Yes, it actually is."

Alex rolled his eyes and continued playing, determined to win. Ivar realized that he was more in love with Alex now than when they first started dating. He didn't know how that was even possible because he'd already never felt like this with anyone else before, but it was true. He'd give his life for Alex. Next to Ivy, there was nobody else on this Earth that he loved more. It kind of scared him, but more so, he was just thrilled to have finally found his soul mate. And that was exactly it. That was why he'd been different with Alex that morning. That's why he didn't care about himself. Alex was his soul mate, and he'd spend the rest of his life making him happy as long as Alex allowed it.

Feeling too emotional for their surroundings, he pushed everything to the back of his mind to deal with later and tapped Alex on the shoulder. "Here, let me show you how it's done."

"What?"

"Watch and learn, Love. Watch and learn." He gave the attendant his money, and she gave him three darts. Looking at Alex and grinning, he threw the first one. He hit one of the balloons, and it pooped.

"You've got to be kidding me," Alex sighed.

"How many do I have to pop to win?" Ivar smiled at the attendant.

"All three for your choice of prize or one more for one of the small stuffed animals."

"Go big or go home. Right, Alex?"

Alex rolled his eyes, "If you say so, but hitting all three isn't as easy as it looks, Ivar."

"Well, let's try and see," Ivar was sure he could get all three. He and Hvitserk used to play this exact game with darts and cans in their backyard when they were younger. When they got too brave and started aiming at cans on eachother's heads, Aslaug stepped in and took the darts away from them, telling them how dangerous and irresponsible it was. It was for this reason that neither of them ever told her about how they'd snuck the darts from her kitchen cabinet and played, secretly, resulting in Ivar having an unwanted ear piercing. He smirked at the memory of how scared Hvitserk had been and how he'd milked it for all it was worth, basically having Hvitserk wait on him hand and foot for the next week until Hvitserk caught on to what he'd been doing.

Ivar aimed and thew the second dart and then the third, popping both balloons. He turned to Alex, "What were you saying? It's not as easy as it looks, humm?"

Alex stood, dumbfounded, "Oh, shut up."

"Well, pick your prize, Love."

Alex smiled and kissed Ivar on his cheek as his face lit up. He picked out a huge, stuffed, pink bear.

Smiling as Alex wrapped his arms around the fuzzy bear, Ivar asked, "So, pink huh? Where are you gonna put it?"

Alex looked at him and laughed, "What? You don't think pink's my color?" He held the bear up to his face and smiled innocently. After laughing at Ivar's curious face, Alex finally said, "Duh, Ivar! This bright pink bear isn't for me! I think it's cute, and I have to admit, I love how soft it is," he cleared his throat as he noticed the strange look in Ivar's eyes, "But it's for Ivy, obviously."

"Oh? Umm, yeah, obviously," Ivar mocked him, smiling.

"It is. That's why I was so frustrated that I kept missing the damn balloons," Alex sighed. "I just thought this would be a nice birthday gift for her from this great day we've had together." And there it was again, that strange look in Ivar's eyes, making Alex nervous. "Umm, did I uh, did I say something wrong? Are you ok? Umm, are we ok?"

Ivar was lost in his thoughts. "Umm, Ivar?" Alex stepped closer and placed his hand on Ivar's shoulder. "Hey, what's going on?"

"Oh, umm," Ivar shook his head as if to snap himself out of whatever trance he was in, "What?"

"Ivar, what's wrong?"

"Wrong? What? Nothing is wrong. Seriously, absolutely nothing."

"Where were you just now? You worried me. You know you can talk to me."

Looking Alex deeply in the eyes, Ivar placed the beer on the counter beside them and pulled him close to him. He wrapped his arms around Alex's waist tightly. Alex wasn't sure what was going on, but he liked it. Ivar finally moved his right hand to Alex's cheek while the other still held him. Just as Alex was beginning to feel even more nervous, Ivar whispered, "I love you," and gave Alex a sweet, passionate kiss, causing him to feel weak in the knees.

When Ivar pulled away from the kiss and rested his head on Alex's, Alex looked up in a daze, licking his lips as if he could still taste the kiss. He wasn't sure what the strange look had been about or why this was how Ivar reacted when asked about it, but he was too lost in a haze to think about it any further.

Still looking into his eyes and practically panting for air, Ivar whispered, "We should go. I've got reservations for us."

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They went back to Alex's to shower and change for what Ivar said would be a nice dinner. They made sure to take their showers in Alex's two separate bathrooms because Ivar said he didn't want to miss their reservations, and he knew if they were together, they definitely wouldn't be leaving on time, if at all. They both laughed in agreement and went to get ready.

Alex finally came into the living room where Ivar was waiting for him. When he saw Alex in his shiny, black suit and opened, white, collared shirt, he gasped.

"What? Do I look ridiculous?"

Moving to his feet and immediately by Alex's side, "No, never. You look quite the opposite, actually. You look stunning."

As Alex's face flushed red, he looked Ivar up and down. He stood there in a dark, grey suit with the collar also open to it. Alex answered, "Well, you don't look too shabby yourself."

Ivar blushed and told him, "Well, I'd really like to kiss you. You don't know how badly. You're so smoldering hot and quite frankly, irresistible, but umm," he licked his lips, "Like I said earlier, I don't want to miss our reservations. The driver is already out front, waiting for us."

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They arrived at a very elegant seafood restaurant just on the outskirts of town. Ivar knew Alex would love it, sushi being his favorite of favorite foods, so he wasn't at all surprised at Alex's reaction.

"Oh my God! Are you serious? You got us reservations here?"

Ivar simply smiled back at him.

"You know how long I've wanted to come here. How did you even get the reservations? Every time I've tried, the closest date is always like six months out. At best."

"Well, I know a guy who knows a guy," Ivar laughed. "You ready?" But Alex was already jumping out of the car before the driver had even opened his own door to get out. "It's ok, Mike. We'll manage. Thank you."

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Dinner was great and their conversation flowed easily, as it always had. They talked and laughed as they ate what Alex said was the best sushi he'd ever tasted and drank some of the most expensive wine. Alex had protested about the wine, but Ivar said, "I want only the best for you. Don't worry about the price. That's none of your concern. Now, drink."

"Yes, sir," Alex smiled warmly, turning up his glass.

As their dinner was nearly over, the lighting in the place got a bit dimmer, and strobe lights came on, illuminating a dance floor. Alex's face instantly lit up as he looked at the dance floor and then back to Ivar. "Don't even think about it, Love. It's not happening," Ivar hadn't even given him a chance to ask.

Alex looked at him with pouty eyes as he saw several other couples make their way to the dance floor, and Ivar glared at him. "Ok, ok. You're not ready," Alex's eyes casted downward, he quietly said, "I understand." He took a big gulp of the last of his wine. "We should probably go then," Alex said, placing his glass back on the table and standing.

"Wait. What? No," Ivar panicked. He hadn't meant to hurt Alex's feelings. But he may have been too vague with his response. "I"m not ashamed of you if that's what you're thinking. I-I'm, ugh, I just..."

"It's ok, Ivar. I'll meet you in the car." Alex began to leave before his emotions were too obvious and took over. "Where you can be with me, and nobody sees you. I've got to get out of here!"

Ivar was immediately up and by Alex's side. He placed his hands on either side of Alex's cheeks, making Alex look him straight in the eyes. "Hey, hey. Wait. Calm down. What is it, Love? Why would you even think I give a fuck about people seeing us together? You know I love you, and I could care less what anyone else thinks about that."

Alex blushed and pulled back from Ivar. "Well, it's obvious that you're embarrassed by even the thought of dancing with me." He cleared his throat, "So, you're off the hook. You don't have to." Alex looked away from him.

"Alex, I'm not embarrassed by you. I'm umm," he began to stutter, and Alex looked back at him, confused. "I'm embarrassed at the thought of dancing in front of all these people. You know I can't dance."

Alex's snarl softened into a smile. "Oh, Ivar," he placed his hand on Ivar's cheek,"You don't have to do anything fancy, and we could wait for a slow song. Nobody is paying us any attention." Ivar leaned into Alex's hand. "But it's ok. Let's just go. I want you to myself anyway."

Ivar knew he'd hurt Alex's feelings, and he felt really bad about it. It hadn't been his intentions. He started to walk with Alex, reaching down to hold his hand, and then he suddenly stopped in his tracks. He pulled Alex to him. "I'm not going to get in my head about this. You want to dance, let's go dance." He kissed Alex on the cheek and turned back around and pulled Alex in his direction.

"Wait. Ivar. No, it's ok," Alex said as he was trailing behind Ivar, but Ivar didn't even acknowledge he'd spoken and continued walking until they reached the dance floor.

As Ivar stepped onto the floor, Alex stood there in shock. Ivar held his hand out and said, "Well, come on, Love. What are you waiting on?"

"Umm, ok. I guess we're doing this," and Alex joined Ivar who pulled him flesh with his body and wrapped his arms around Alex's waist. "What changed, Ivar?"

"Umm, I just realized what I already knew. If I'm with you, umm, well, nothing else matters." He placed his head in the bend of Alex's neck and rested his head on his shoulder as their two bodies began to sway in sync.

Then, a familiar song began to play. "All My Life." That was the song that Ivar had said made him think of Alex, and he instantly smiled. He raised his head up as he rested his cheek against Alex's. With his left arm around Alex's back and shoulders, he squeezed him a little tighter. His right hand held Alex's, and he brought it up between them, against his chest, and held it there, leaning down and kissing the back of Alex's hand.

Ivar began humming along with the song as they slowly danced. Alex's heart was pounding so hard he was sure Ivar could feel it against his own chest. Then, as if an angel singing a hymn from the heavens, Ivar began to softly sing along into Alex's ear. "All my life I've prayed for someone like you. And I thank God that I finally found you..." A single tear slowly rolled down Alex's cheek. Ivar never sang in front of anyone intentionally, and Alex knew this. To say he was surprised that Ivar was singing, not only to himself, but directly to him, right in his ear, was a major understatement. Alex didn't say a word but just listened to the beautiful, angelic sound.

As the song was ending, Ivar turned his head toward Alex. As Alex froze, Ivar leaned down and gently kissed his lips. It was only a matter of seconds before Alex was kissing him back, both lost completely in the other.

For a moment, it was as if the two of them were the only ones in the room. Their dancing stopped and all movement, as well, except for their kiss.

Eventually, Alex noticed the song had stopped, and now there was a more upbeat song playing. He slowly opened his eyes and reluctantly pulled a little away from Ivar's delicious lips. Around them, he saw the people dancing in rhythm along with the fast music while he and Ivar stood motionless, forehead against forehead, arm in arm, hand in hand, bodies still tightly snug against eachother.

Alex looked at Ivar, who hadn't taken his eyes off of him, as he smiled and said, "We're the only ones not moving, aren't we, Love?"

Blushing, Alex answered, "Yes."

"We should probably go now," Ivar laughed, and the two of them walked back to the table to get their suit jackets. Ivar leading the way, hand in hand, they walked out to find their driver and left for Alex's place.

The car ride to Alex's was intense. Ivar scooted closer to Alex and wrapped his arm around him, pulling him close. "I want you so badly," he whispered into Alex's ear and licked down his neck with a gentle graze of his teeth, causing Alex to shiver.

"The feeling is mutual," Alex softly said back to him. Placing his hand on Ivar's cheek, he leaned over and kissed him quickly on his other cheek. "I can't wait to get you home."

The rest of the ride was spent with gentle touches, heavy breathing, intense stares, and deep kisses. Just as they both felt they could take no more, they finally arrived at Alex's.

As Alex finally unlocked the door, Ivar practically shoved him into the apartment, backwards into the wall, frantically kissing him. He was instantly removing Alex's suit jacket and then his own. As they dropped to the floor, Alex leaned forward and locked the door behind Ivar. "I've seriously missed this," Alex softly said just as Ivar's lips crashed into him again.

Pieces of their clothing went flying, one by one, as they made their way to Alex's room. "I'm all yours," Alex said between kisses, "Have your way with me."

"Fuck!" Ivar panted, "I fucking plan on it."

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Standing in the kitchen and trying not to sound as sad as he actually felt, Alex said, "Well, I guess we're back to reality, huh?"

"What do you mean? This entire weekend has been our reality, Alex."

Alex hesitated, "Well, you know what I mean. You leaving to go back home, and me just dropping by to visit you and Ivy after class."

Ivar didn't really get what Alex was insinuating.

"Ivar, umm," Alex's hands were sweaty as he tried to put everything in the best way he could without hurting Ivar, "I think I should give you three some space. You know, just give Katia the time she really needs to accept that we're together no matter what kind of fit she pulls, and let her see that it won't change even if I'm not always there."

Ivar's mouth just dropped as he listened to Alex in disbelief. "Also, maybe it will do her some good for me to not be there as much and her maybe feeling like I'm constantly rubbing it in her face. Maybe that's why she got so defensive and territorial over you to begin with."

Ivar couldn't believe how selfless Alex was, selfless, yes, but it was a very naive way of of thinking.

He stood up and walked around the counter and placed his hand on Alex's shoulder, "Love, how very thoughtful of you. Really, it's one thing I really love about you. But, umm, you do know who we're talking about here, dont you? You're so very considerate, but I honestly believe she's going to do whatever she thinks will win me over whether you're there or not." He kissed Alex on the forehead. "And I, personally, would prefer you're there with me. Maybe the better choice is that I talk to her again, and make sure she remembers that she's only there on borrowed time."

Alex shrugged his shoulders.

"Well, I understand you being apprehensive. How about this? What if I talk to her, and we just play it by ear. If you think things are too tense and would prefer to come back home, I won't stop you. You're already here a couple of nights a week anyway, so if you absolutely have to add another or two, I'll try my best to understand and not take it personally. This will be a busy week anyway with getting everything finished for Ivy's birthday party next weekend."

Ivar pulled Alex into a hug. "Just promise me that you won't umm, leave for good, that you won't leave me." Ivar shuddered at even the thought. "I can't handle even thinking about life without you. I love you, and I need you in my life. Always."

Alex choked back a tear, "Ivar, please don't tell me that after the amazing weekend we've had, you actually still think I could leave you," Alex said into Ivar's chest, still wrapped in his strong arms.

Ivar pulled him back and looked into his eyes, "I, umm, I feel it's just a matter of time before you see what I already know." Ivar dropped his head and looked away.

"And just what is that, exactly?" Alex gently turned Ivar's head back toward him so he could see his face.

Trying to avert Alex's piercing eyes but eventually giving in, Ivar finally answered him. "Umm, well, that you-you're umm, you're too good for me and deserve better." His face flushed bright red as he tried to pull away from Alex, but Alex tightened his grip around Ivar's waist.

Placing his hand on Ivar's cheek, Alex told him, "Ivar, what are you talking about? There's never been anyone more perfect for me. My love for you isn't that shallow, and I can't see me happier with anyone else on this planet. I love you. Ok? That's not going to change over some ridiculous argument or anything like that." He pulled Ivar to him and gave him a tight hug. "Do not worry about such things. You're stuck with me. I'm not going anywhere. You can't get rid of me that easily," Alex laughed.

Ivar smiled despite himself. Alex's words helped him, but he knew the thought would remain in the back of his head. He'd just have to push it far back and try to ignore it.

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Ivar was right. The next week was really busy. No matter how much Katia protested, and Alex couldn't tell if she was being sincere or not, Ivar pulled out all the stops for his baby girl. Katia told him how she was too young for anything to matter to her, and that she wouldn't remember any of it anyway, but Ivar insisted that nothing was too big or too much for his princess.

Ivy loved bouncing, so Ivar rented out a small, indoor trampoline park for the entire Saturday afternoon. There wasn't a large amount of people coming to the party, just close friends and family, but Ivar also had a catering company lined up to bring food.

Ivar spoke to Katia as he'd told Alex he would. She didn't say much. She just listened to him. He wasn't sure she really accepted the gravity of his words, so he told her, "Katia, I get that you wanted things to work out a different way and I'm sorry it hasn't, but you're going to have to accept this. It's not going to change. I also need you to understand that Ivy is the reason youre here at all. I can't have you living in my home, and this is temporary, remember, and treating Alex the way you have. It will not be tolerated anymore." Katia had only nodded her head and told him ok. He saw her expression chnage, but she nevwr said anything else. That made Ivar a bit nervous for what she really meant, but he decided to just leave it alone. For now.

Ivar and Alex spent most of their evenings that week at the trampoline park, decorating for the party. Alex had went home to his own place almost every night, against Ivar's will, but Ivar didn't protest against it like he said he wouldn't.

Admittedly, that had been very difficult for Ivar, so he was extremely pleased when Alex told him, "Do you mind if I stay at your place tonight? I'm honestly just too tired for us to go all the way back to my place when yours is so much closer."

"Oh, so it's just a matter of proximity, humm? That's the only reason you'll finally stay with me?" Ivar mused.

"Oh, you know better than that," Alex smiled. "I mean, yes, your place is closer, but umm, I also miss you."

Blushing, Ivar pulled him close and gave him a kiss, "Well, let's go."

To Alex's surprise, Katia had seemed mostly nice all week when the three of them had been together. She did seem a bit on edge, but he'd noticed, just when he thought she may say something, she'd retreated to her room, saying how she was really tired suddenly. She hadn't said or done anything out of the way. Yet. He knew he'd never trust her again. But he also hadn't stayed over night all week either, so he knew this would be the true test.

When the two of them arrived at Ivar's, Alex hesitated by the car door. Ivar walked over to him, "Everything ok, Love?"

Wiping his sweaty hands on his pants legs, Alex answered, "I, umm, well, I just don't want any problems. I hope she's already in bed."

Ivar hugged him and reassured him, "You have just as much a right to be here as she does. This is my house and if I have to remind her, I will. You don't have anything to worry about, Love. I told you, she seemed to understand everything when I talked to her. You'll be fine."

Alex gave him a quick kiss and told him, "Thank you, and I'm sorry for adding more stress for you."

Ivar grabbed his hand and told him not to worry about it as they headed to the front door.

Katia was in the kitchen as they walked inside. "Hey, Ivar, sweetheart," Alex just squeezed Ivar's hand as he heard her, "I made some of your favorite food for dinner and was just cleaning my plate. Please come in, and have a seat. I'll make your plate. I figured you'd be really tired."

She continued talking as the two of them stood at the kitchen counter behind her. Ivar cleared his throat as Katia turned around. "Alex is staying the night because you're right. We're exhausted."

Her eyes widened as Ivar pulled a stool out for Alex, and the two of them sat down. "Umm, ok. Uh, hey, Alex. Would you like a plate, too?" Katia asked him as she sat Ivar's plate in front of him.

Alex looked to Ivar, who nodded to him, then answered, "Umm, sure. Thank you, Katia."

She made Alex's plate and gave it to him. "Umm, Ivar, you can clean up here when you two are finished? I'm going to bed, and Ivy's already asleep in her room."

"Umm, uh, sure. Thank you, again, for dinner, Katia. And umm, Ivy?" Ivar asked her.

"Sara took her up before she left. Umm, good night, guys." Katia left the room without another word.

Alex stared blankly at Ivar who had the same expression on his face. They sat for a moment before Ivar finally said, "Think she is finally getting the picture and understanding that you're not going anywhere?"

They both sat for another moment, and as Alex smiled, they both said at the same time, "No way!" They laughed and finished their meal.

After eating, they cleaned up the kitchen together and then went to bed. It was only minutes before they were wrapped in eachother's arms, passionately kissing. Ivar pulled away and softly said, between panting, "I missed you."

"We were just together Sunday, Ivar."

"I know. A lifetime ago. I've missed you," he laughed and kissed Alex again, wondering if he would even last until he could get Ivar's boxers and sweats off of his glorious, hot body.

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It was finally the day of Ivy's party. They closed the bar for the night to be able to properly celebrate. You would have thought it was Ivar's Odin himself was coming to visit or something. He was running around in nearly a panic.

"Ivar," Alex stopped in front of him and placed his hands on his shoulders, "I know it's her first birthday, but it's going to be perfect. Everything is going to be fine. I've got everything in the car already. Breathe."

"But what about her dress for the pictures?"

"I have it."

"And the other clothes that she can mess up when she gets her birthday cake and to play in?"

"I've got that, too."

"And her shoes? And oh my God, I almost forgot my camera. How am I going to take pictures if I forget my camera?"

"Ivar, I have her shoes and your camera and your camera bag along with the charger and even batteries as a backup. I've got it. Just relax."

"What about..."

"Ivar, the candles, lighter, and knife to cut the cake all comes with the cake order. Remember?"

Ivar finally stepped back and sat on a stool at the kitchen counter. Alex smiled at him as he saw him take a deep breath and run his hand down his face.

"Chill. We got this."

At that moment, Katia came out of her room with Ivy. "Dada!" Ivar was by Katia's side immediately, as Ivy reached for him, and took her into his arms.

"She's ready. I just need my purse, and I'll be ready, too."

"How's daddy's big girl? Humm? Are you ready to celebrate?" Ivar kissed her on top of her head, and she smiled up at him. "Happy birthday, my little princess."

As Katia came back out of her room, Alex looked over to her and saw his same expression of adoration spread across her face. It unnerved him, but he looked back at Ivar and Ivy and instantly felt better. He knew now wasn't the time. Breaking him from his thoughts, Ivar asked, "Shall we go, now?"

"Actually, can I give Ivy her gift from me first? Well, I guess it's from us, really, isn't it?" He laughed. Ivar had forgotten about it, and looking at his watch, he told him yes.

Alex ran upstairs and came back down, quickly, with the big, pink bear Ivar had won for him the Saturday before. Ivar took Ivy over to Alex in the living room floor as Katia stood and watched.

"You want to see what Alex got for you, Sweetheart?"

"What we got for her," Alex corrected him.

Ivy reached for Alex, saying, "Ale!"

Ivar stood her in front of the huge stuffed bear, holding her sides, and she looked up at them both and giggled. She flopped forward with her arms stretched wide, saying "Mine."

Ivar and Alex told her yes, and she enjoyed rubbing it by moving her face back and forth into it. It was so cute, Ivar kissed Alex, and told him, "Thank you, Love. That was so thoughtful to think of her during our date."

Katia cleared her throat, and Ivar looked over to her, still standing and watching, critically. He saw the look of disgust across her face. He glared at her, but didn't say anything. "I'm going on out, guys." She said rolling her eyes.

Alex completely ignored her and continued playing and laughing with Ivy. Ivar clinched his teeth together to prevent himself from saying anything to her on Ivy's birthday. He didn't want to ruin her day before it had really even begun.

Alex, knowing this and seeing the look of murder across Ivar's face, finally said, "I think we should get going, right, Ivar? We don't want her to be late for her own party."

Ivar, recognizing Alex was right, scooped Ivy up and into his arms and told her it was time to go. She only giggled at him. They finally got Ivy in the car and headed to the trampoline park.

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Aslaug was already there and greeted them at the door. She took Ivy to change her clothes for pictures as Alex and Ivar unloaded the car. Katia came in with her.

For as long as Alex had known Ivar, he'd had an eye for capturing the perfect picture. He just naturally knew how to take the simplest scene and angle the camera in such a way that the lighting would look chosen and fine tuned, and he'd then produce the most beautiful pictures, people always being his favorite thing to photograph. You could always see his passion for photography in his finished product, but with Ivy as the subject, Alex knew the pictures were going to be outstanding.

Aslaug brought Ivy out, and Ivar had her place her on the mat with the small, colorful balls that he'd brought over from the ball pit. Her dress was purple velvet trimmed in sparkling black with tights and shoes to match. As Alex watched her pick up one of the balls and smile too widely for her small face, he couldn't deny how absolutely adorable she looked. He looked over to Ivar, who exuded love and excitement mixed with pride and a ball of nerves, as he snapped picture after picture. Alex stepped to him and softly said, "She's absolutely gorgeous, Ivar." Ivar glanced at him and smiled. "Just like her daddy," Alex added as he kissed Ivar on his cheek, causing him to blush.

At that moment, Ivy threw the ball towards them and then clapped her hands as Ivar continued snapping away.

Alex rolled the ball back to her and said, "Catch, Sweetheart." As the ball rolled right up to her, she grabbed it and said, "Ale!" melting Alex's heart.

Aslaug covered her mouth in surprise, "I didn't know she could say your name, Alex. That's precious." She winked and smiled at Alex, thoroughly surprising him as he felt his cheeks redden.

"Ale!" Ivy said again, this time reaching toward him.

"Aww, she wants you, Alex. You should go to her. I'm sure Ivar will make some incredible shots of the two of you."

Still surprised, Alex answered, "Oh, uh, no. This is Ivy's day. That's ok. I'll just watch from here."

Ivar turned to him as Ivy threw another ball in their direction, laughing and clapping. "She's right, Love. Ivy wants to play with you. It will make for some sweet photos. I mean, if you want to."

"Ale!" Ivy reached for him again. "Puh-ease," she motioned for him to come to her.

"That's another new word, sweetie," Alex encouraged her. "You're such a smart girl." He sat with her, and they began rolling the balls back and forth, Ivy's small giggles filling the room. Ivar's heart swelled as he continued snapping pictures.

Katia entered the room and stood, watching. Aslaug noticed how she was visibly on edge, and she could only assume why. Aslaug stepped closer to her. "Ivar will take photos with anyone else who wants them with Ivy, too, Dear. You should be next," Aslaug said softly as she placed her hand on Katia's shoulder in an attempt to comfort her.

"Thank you," Katia batted away tears.

"Are you ok?" Aslaug asked, genuinely concerned.

"It's umm, you know. It's uh, it's just hard. I'm trying, but it's just so hard."

"Oh, I know, Dear. Just take it one day at a time."

"I know I really messed things up, and it's too late, now. Watching him, umm, it just breaks my heart. That should've been me. I'll never find anyone who loves me like he did, and I just threw it away like it was nothing."

Aslaug hugged her, "Oh, Katia. Dear, never say never. You have no idea what the future holds."

Katia's eyes lit up. Was it possible that Aslaug wanted them back together, too? Oh, of course she did. Alex can't give her anymore grandchildren. That's basically what Aslaug was saying, right? Maybe she should continue her plan to make Alex's life difficult enough that he'd just finally leave without Ivar ever even knowing she'd done it. She'd be there for Ivar afterwards, and he'd see how much she truly loves him.

Without warning, Katia went to stand at the side of the mat where Ivy and Alex sat, playing. "Umm, could I get some pictures with our daughter, too?" She asked, looking at Ivar.

Surprised at her tone, he answered, "Sure, in just a moment when she's finished with Alex."

Alex looked up at Katia and then to Ivar. Feeling bad for the way she'd just thrown Ivar in the middle of whatever game she was playing at now, he said, "Umm, no. It's ok. We can take more pictures later. I need to get up from here anyway before my legs fall asleep." He nervously laughed as he stood.

"Oh, I'm sorry, Alex," Katia began with false sweetness dripping from her words, "I can definitely wait until you're finished."

He walked to Ivar, as Ivy called for him several times. "No, you go ahead. It's fine. Ivy, we'll play again shortly. It's mommy's turn now." When he reached Ivar, he sat down beside him with a sigh.

"Thank you, Love. I'm sorry. That was so rude."

"It's ok. She's Ivy's mom. I can understand her wanting to be with her."

"And this is just another reason I love you," Ivar smiled.

People began coming, so Alex left Ivar to greet them. Ivy's birthday gifts began to pile up as people passed the gift table to go pose for photos. Alex loved that Ivar got to use one of his favorite pass times with his beloved daughter.

As he watched them and all the cute faces Ivy was making, a voice interrupted his thoughts. "Hey, Alex. You remember my sister, Emilie, don't you?"

Alex turned to see Paul, from class, with his sister and her two kids. "Hey, Paul. I'm surprised you actually came. Come on in. The kids are getting ready to go jump. Finally." Pointing to Aslaug, he told him, "That's Ivar's mom. See her for the socks and have a great time."

Paul's sister stuck her hand out to shake Alex's, "Hi, umm, he insisted that we were invited and should come for the kids to enjoy themselves. I hope it's ok."

"It's definitely ok. Ivar invited you guys personally last weekend." Alex motioned toward Aslaug for them to get socks.

Suddenly, the kids went running to the jump space. There weren't many, maybe 8 or 10, and all so tiny, but they nearly knocked Ivar down as he was walking with Ivy in his arms, toward Alex. "Hey, hey, guys, slow it down some," Ivar said to them in vain as they passed.

Just as Ivar reached Alex, the front door swung open. There stood Sigurd, a young toddler, maybe 2 or 3 years old, and a pregnant, blonde girl. Ivar stopped in his tracks, in complete disbelief. "Hi, Ivar. Umm, this is Anja, my girlfriend, and this little guy is Mika."

"What the fuck are you doing here, Sigurd?"

"Nice to see you, too, little brother. Hey, Alex. And uh, Mom invited us."

"Of course she did," Ivar shook his head. He pointed his finger in Sigurd's face, "I promise you, if you do or say anything to ruin my Ivy's birthday, I will personally end you. I'll mutilate and dismember your body so badly that not even mom will be able to identify your mangled body in the morgue. I'll fucking gut you myself!Understood?" Alex gulped and Anja swallowed loudly. Ivar turned to her, "Nice to meet you, Anja. You're welcome to come in. Get some socks for Mika and let him play with the other kids." He glanced at Alex, "I'll be back. I'm taking Ivy to play."

Alex began to speak, but just at that moment, Hvitserk walked up. As he turned to Alex, he noticed who was standing on front of him. "What the fuck!" Trying to disregard Sigurd, Hvitserk said, "Alex, I was coming to tell you that your mom is here and was looking for you, but before I leave you," he turned to Sigurd, "You better not start your shit with Ivar today. You understand me? I won't hesitate to kick your fucking ass right here in front of," he looked to Anja, "Your girl and your kid and whoever the fuck else wants to watch. Got it?"

Sigurd smiled and began to speak, but Hvitserk held his hand up to his face, "Save it," and he walked away.

Sigurd told Anja, "That was my other brother, Hvitserk. Isn't he lovely?"

"Wow! When you told me you weren't too popular with your brothers, you weren't joking, were you?"

-

The party seemed to be going well. Everyone was talking and laughing and the kids were still jumping. Alex left Ivar and Ivy to go get a glass of water.

As Alex turned to go back, he noticed Katia with Ivar and Ivy, so he stopped. He stood and watched them. He knew she needed to spend time with them together, too, but it sure stung.

Alex then felt an arm on his shoulders and a hand on gently squeeze. "It's a wonderful thing you're doing for him, Sweetie," his mom's voice said softly beside him. "That's true love. I know it's not easy, but Ivy can only benefit from the three of you loving her like you do and doing your best to get along."

"Thanks mom. It's, umm, well, Katia doesn't always make it the easiest."

"Oh, I'm sure. Just be strong. She's just testing you. And Alex?"

"Yes, mom?" he answered, watching Ivar and Katia walk along the trampoline, holding Ivy's hands so she can easily jump.

"You know how much that man loves you, don't you?" Completely surprised at what he'd heard her say, he turned to look at her. "Because everyone else around you two, including Katia, can see it. Have faith in that, sweetheart. He's not going anywhere." She kissed him on his temple and walked back to his dad.

Alex just stood there and let his mom's words wash over him. He felt really proud at how accepting she clearly was of the whole situation of him being with a man and, now, one who had a child and a crazy ex. It warmed his heart, and she just didn't know just how badly he'd needed to hear everything she said.

As he watched Ivar and Katia more, he noticed how she just actually seemed to be there for Ivy. Several times she'd placed her hand on Ivar's arm or shoulder, and he subtly pulled away from her each time. She appeared to just stop trying to get his attention and began to focus hers on her baby girl. Things didn't seem so bad when she was with Ivar like that, just as Ivy's mom and nothing more. He sincerely hoped they'd eventually get to a place when that really was all that was there.

"Is that broad the mom of your daughter?" Paul was suddenly at Alex's side, disturbing his thoughts.

"Umm, yeah. That's Katia, Ivar's ex and Ivy's mom."

"Woah! Man! I thought she was your child. So her mom is his ex?"

Annoyed, Alex simply answered, "Yes."

"Wow, man. I'm impressed. I don't know how you do it. That would kill me, seeing my man with his ex and their baby. How do you not feel like the third wheel?" He looked over to Alex, "I guess I mean, the fourth wheel. I mean, look at them. The three of them look like a happy little family. I'd never known they weren't still together had I not known who you are to him. Dude! I'm amazed that you don't just feel like crawling under a rock somewhere. You must really love him, huh?"

Alex could only hope that Paul meant well, but his words hurt like a double edged sword. He was just a bit daft and obviously, completely without tact. Alex began to walk away from him before he lost his cool as he heard Ivar call his name. He turned to see Ivy in Katia's arms, but reaching for him as she called out, "Ale! Puh-ease! Ale!" How could he say no to that?

Ivar motioned for him to come to them and then, to his surprise, so did Katia.

Alex joined them back on the trampoline mat, leaving Paul where he stood, and Katia instantly said to him, "She really wants you, Alex. You want to take her?"

He tried to hide his surprise with Katia's generosity as he held his arms out. Ivy practically jumped to him, and she giggled as they laughed at her.

Alex and Katia each held one of Ivy's hands and let her jump up and down. The smile across her face was contagious. Alex tried to ignore how nervous he was at Katia's kindness. Surely, this was sincere and not just another way to maneuver herself into Ivar's life the way she wanted to be. He smiled at her, and she smiled back, looking over his shoulders. Alex turned to see what she was looking at, and he saw Y/N and Hvitserk standing there, pretending not to be watching them.

Of course, Hvitserk had said something to her. That definitely explained her change in attitude. It made Alex feel sick, but as he looked at Ivar's smiling face, watching them getting along for the sake of their love for his daughter, he couldn't really do or say anything. Now, wasn't the time.

Hvitserk brought Ivar his camera and winked at Alex. Ivar instantly began snapping more photos. Defeated, Alex gave in and just enjoyed the moment. No matter how fake it actually was.

Unbeknownst to them, Sigurd was watching them. "I can't tell, exactly, which one is faking it. Is it Katia or Alex?" he snidely asked Ubbe.

"Oh, it's definitely Katia. Don't you remember how she's always been? Don't let the kid fool you. She's still just as manipulative as she was back then."

"Is Ivar still a blinded fool?"

"I honestly don't think he is. He's in love with Alex, and her shit doesn't seem to phase him anymore."

"Yeah, this thing with Alex? When did that happen? Who would've thought our little brother would be a queer?"

Ubbe smacked him in the back of the head, "Don't start your shit, or I promise you, I'll.."

"Beat my ass yourself?" Sigurd finished Ubbe's sentence. Ubbe smiled and nodded yes. "Actually, I see Ivar differently. He does look genuinely happy and in love. It's fucking disgusting." They both laughed.

The rest of the party had been a lot of fun. Alex got his turn with Ivar's camera when Ivar sat with Ivy and helped her open her gifts. She clapped, smiled, and giggled at nearly every gift. It was precious, and Alex was proud Ivar trusted him to capture the moment as Ivar had been teaching him a little about photography.

By the time everyone had eaten and had cake, several people were already leaving. Ivar invited whoever wanted to come back to his place for, "the adult part of the party," and they began packing up to leave. Alex and Ivar both were really happy that Ivar had the foresight to have paid the little extra for someone else to clean up after the party and bring it all back to Ivar's. They were both pretty tired.

As they made their way to the door, they were met by Alex's parents. Thank you, Son, for having us. We enjoyed our time with you all, but I think we're going to head on home," his mom told Ivar as she hugged him and kissed his cheek.

"Aww, won't you drop by my place for a bit? We'd love to have you. Just have one drink with us, and then, we'll let you go if you want,"

She looked to Alex and then to his dad, who both nodded. "Well, if you're sure we won't be intruding. I know most of your guests will be your family, Ivar."

"Mama Hogh, you're Alex's family, therefore, you two are my family as well," he said as he hugged her again. "You've always been my family, but you didn't realize that you seriously do have a second son, now?" Ivar laughed.

Alex felt his heart swell. He didn't have words for how Ivar's words made him feel, but he sure did love hearing them. He grabbed Ivar's hand and kissed his knuckles as they headed to the cars.

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Once at Ivar's, Alex scanned the room. The few who came back were really just Ivar's family and Alex's parents. As he continued looking around, he noticed Paul sitting on the sofa. He was surprised, but Ivar had actually invited everyone so he walked over to him. "Hi Paul."

Paul stood, "Umm, I didn't realize this was just a family thing, Alex. I'm sorry. I'm gonna head out."

Alex handed him a beer, "Don't worry about it. You were invited just like everyone else." He took the drink and sat back down.

Ivar took Ivy to her bedroom upstairs. She didn't even wake up when he got her out of the car. He knew she'd be tired after such a long day, but he was kind of surprised at just how tired. Once he had her settled in her bed, he leaned down and kissed her forehead, "Happy birthday, Baby Girl. I love you."

As he walked to her door and gently closed it behind him, he turned into Alex. "What a day, huh?" he said as he smiled at the sweetness he'd just witnessed.

"What?" Ivar shyly asked.

"You know how I love seeing you with Ivy. That's all." Ivar's cheeks reddened, but he didn't say a word. "Actually, I just wanted to let you know that Paul is here, too. I didn't know how you'd feel about it, so I just wanted to tell you."

Ivar's jaw clinched as he spoke through his teeth, "I told you what he's after. You just watch yourself around him. I'd hate to have to dismember him." He didn't even smile as the words rolled so easily off his lips. "I don't trust him, but it's ok. I mean, I did invite everyone." He then backed Alex into the wall and kissed him. "He's just jealous that he can't do that," he laughed.

In a bit of a daze, Alex smiled. "He definitely can't. That would be gross." They both laughed and returned to the party.

Everyone was talking, laughing, and having a good time. Alex looked around and decided to pick up the empty bottles and take them out to the recycle bin in the garage. From the kitchen, talking with Ubbe and Hvitserk, Ivar saw him and turned to offer to help. Alex told him not to worry about it, that he could get it, so Ivar continued his conversation with his brothers.

As Alex rounded the corner with the box of empty beer bottles, he heard Katia and Aslaug talking. Instinctively, he stopped and listened. "Yeah, well, I know, but how could Alex ever provide you with any more grandchildren, Aslaug? I know Ivar has always wanted nothing more than to have a home full of little ones running around. I can give him that. And I know that would make you just as happy as it would him. You know he still loves me. He'll always love me. I gave him his first child."

"I, umm, well, I can't say if you're right or not," Alex heard Aslaug's response. "I know he'll always love you in his special way, Katia, but.." she stopped talking when Alex stumbled just outside the door, causing the bottles to bang together. "What was that?" Aslaug asked Katia as Katia basically disregarded her.

"I don't know, but you were saying you also think Ivar still loves me? Doesn't that mean he just needs to hear it from you? Maybe he just needs to know how you feel about him being with Alex, a man of all people. What was he thinking? I'm sure if he knew how you really feel, he wouldn't be so sure about their relationship. I mean, if that's what you want to call it." Katia continued talking as Aslaug moved around the work table in the garage, toward the door. "I mean, don't you think you should tell Ivar the truth about what you think about him and Alex?"

"What? Oh, uh, umm-humm," Aslaug was finally standing at the doorway just as Alex was stepping through it, and they nearly ran into eachother. "Oh! Alex!"

His eyes full of tears that he was desperately trying to hold back, he stepped around her and placed the box of empty beer bottles on the table. "Umm, I was, uh, just bringing this to the recycle bin. Umm, I-I'm uh, I didn't mean to umm, to interrupt your umm, conversation." Alex quickly sat the box down and turned to walk out.

"Oh, Alex, Dear," Aslaug began, but Alex held his hand up, palm facing her, in an effort to tell her not to waste her voice and to back off. He turned and immediately walked out of the garage, hearing both Aslaug and Katia calling after him.

As he entered the bathroom in the hallway, he faintly heard Katia's lies, "Alex, come back. I'm sorry. I can explain. It's not what you think."

He didn't bother to open the door or to answer her. He knew he needed to pull it together. This was not the time for Ivar to learn of the shit Katia and his own mom were spitting about the two of them.

It completely broke Alex with the cold and heartless way Katia had spoken about him as if she were discussing the weather and that Aslaug never once even attempted to defend him or even her own son. He could at least spare Ivar from the same pain, at least for now.

He wondered if what Katia had said was true. Did Ivar still love her? Is that why he had agreed to let her stay? Was she the one Ivar should be with after everything? She was right about one thing, though, for sure. He definitely couldn't give Ivar more children. They'd never talked about any long term goals. He didn't know if Ivar really longed for more children or not. How could he stand in the way of that if it was really what he wanted?

Standing in front of the mirror, hands gripping the sides of the sink, Alex looked at himself and wiped his tears with the back of his hand. Flipping on the water, he splashed cold water on his face. "Get a grip, Alex. You've got this," he lied to himself.

After a few more minutes in the bathroom, he finally came out to find Y/N standing there, waiting on him. "What the fuck happened? What did she do this time?" She asked him, anger visible across her face.

"Nothing. It's fine. I-I'm fine."

"Alex," she began.

"Not now, Y/N. I can't. Not now, ok?" he continued walking and grabbed himself two beers and headed to the sofa. Ivar noticed he'd returned and gave him a questioning look from across the room. Alex held his hand up and signaled that everything was ok as he turned up the first beer.

Sigurd and Anja sat across from him with Paul on one side of him and Y/N on the other. Sigurd began talking and thankfully, Paul and Y/N were quick to engage in conversation with him, as Alex turned up his second beer already.

Alex looked around and noticed Aslaug was at the kitchen counter without her smart-ass side kick for now. He saw his mom walk up to her and begin talking, and he could only hope Aslaug wouldn't say anything to her. He knew his mom, at least, was definitely what you would call a, "mama bear," and for the first time in a long time, he was quite proud of it.

"Hey, Aslaug. How are you? I've been meaning to talk with you all evening," Mama Hogh said to her.

"Oh, it's so nice to see you. I'm great. How have you been? I feel like it's been ages since I've seen you guys," Aslaug said.

The two of them made small talk for a few minutes before Alex's mom said, "What do you think about our boys? Who would have guessed that the two of them would have fallen for eachother, right?"

Aslaug thought before speaking and trying to choose her words wisely, finally answered, "It's funny. I kind of always thought my Ivar would end up with Alex's sister." Aslaug smiled and offered her a drink that she turned down.

"Oh, she is engaged now," Mama Hogh grinned, "But can I offer a word of advice to you?"

"Sure," Aslaug answered, intrigued.

"We have to let them go. They're not ours anymore. They're our babies, and we always think we know what's best for them, but there comes a time when we just have to let them go to make their own choices, and support them when they do."

She saw Aslaug's face harden a bit. "Trust me, I almost lost Alex because of trying to make his choices for him, thinking, 'Mama knows best,' but I learned the hard way, it's just not worth it. If they're happy, we have to be happy for them. And have you noticed how happy they clearly are with eachother? What mother could want more than that? Love comes in all shapes and sizes, and yes, sexes, Aslaug. Who are we to tell another who to love?"

Aslaug was clearly deep in thought. "How very insightful. Umm, thanks. I think." Aslaug leaned forward and hugged her as she told her that she and Thomas were leaving.

They returned to say their goodbyes. When Alex's mom came to him, he tried to stand but stumbled back onto the sofa, laughing. She smiled at him. "Just make sure you don't drive, Hun," and she hugged him goodbye as she told Y/N, "Take care of my boy, ok? I think he must need it." Y/N was surprised at how intuitive Alex's mom was, and she agreed.

Paul had been giving Alex beer after beer, and now Alex was feeling pretty good. Sigurd and he were intensely talking about being with someone they loved who already had a child. "It's so fucking beautiful how much you can love someone that you automatically love their offspring as if they're yours, right?" Alex slurred his words to Sigurd.

Sigurd smiled and agreed with him as he squeezed Anja's leg. He looked over and noticed one of Paul's hands on Alex's leg and the other rubbing his back. It didn't quite set well with Sigurd, but he told himself not to get involved. He'd definitely remembered each of his brother's warnings to not get shit started.

Alex continued talking, as Y/N got up to use the bathroom. "But you, you Sigurd, you have the luxury of having a baby of your own with umm, was it Amy?"

"Anja," she corrected him.

"Right. Anja. I'm sorry." Paul handed him another beer which he turned up and finished in 3 seconds, flat. "So you'll have your own little offspring soon. I, umm," he held his head down, "I can't provide that for Ivar."

Handing him another beer, Paul said, "Oh, there are other ways around that, Sweetheart." Alex turned up the beer as Paul's hand moved up his leg a bit more. Alex was so out of it by this point, that he didn't even notice, but Sigurd it did not miss it, nor did he miss the "sweetheart." He sat up to the edge of the couch and listened.

Paul continued, "If you were mine, I wouldn't make you feel any kind of pressure like that. Maybe the problem isn't that you can't give him another child. Maybe the problem is either who you're with or that he should be fucking happy with what he's got." Paul placed his hand on Alex's cheek while his other remained practically on his inner thigh, obviously headed toward where it definitely should not be.

Alex attempted to pull away from Paul's hand. Even in his drunken stupor, it didn't feel right. "Oh, umm, I'm sorry, man. I didn't mean to make you feel uncomfortable," Paul told him as Sigurd watched and tried to decide what to do. He looked to Anja, but she was now standing behind them, talking with Torvi. "I just hate to see you not appreciated, Alex," Paul continued. "I'd never let you feel inadequate, especially when it came to my fucking ex. I'm sorry he makes you feel that way. Are you sure that's love? Because I'm not." He dragged his hand up Alex's leg further and squeezed as he handed Alex another beer.

Alex turned the beer up and his head began spinning. He suddenly jerked away from Paul and moved over on the sofa. He tried to start another conversation with Sigurd to distract himself from Paul's words, but he kept hearing what he'd said ringing in his ears and it came out to Sigurd, "I'm uh, I'm inadequate, huh? That's it. That's why he still loves her. I'm not good enough."

Paul scooted over closer to him and placed one hand on the small of his back and the other back on his leg again. He pulled Alex into a hug and kissed him on the top of the head. "You're not inadequate at all, Alex. You're perfect."

Sigurd had finally seen enough, "That's enough, man. Back the fuck up. You've gotten him just drunk enough that he has no idea what you're up to. I think you need to leave. Now."

Paul looked up to Sigurd as he stood and said, "Who the fuck are you? Alex is grown and can make his own fucking decisions."

"You've conveniently taken his decision making skills away from him and I'm Ivar's fucking brother, that's who the fuck I am! Now, back the fuck up!" Alex's head fell over onto Paul's shoulder and Paul placed his hand at the nape of Alex's neck, and wrapped his other around his waist, completely disregarding Sigurd.

Trying not to be the one to make a scene, Sigurd stormed to the next room, looking for Ivar. When he found him, the look of utter hatred and disgust was plastered across his face. Ivar instantly felt his defenses go up as he was used to that look.

Expecting him to spill whatever bile he had stored for him, Ivar sat his drink down and balled his fists up, ready to knock him out and then kick him out. So, he was very surprised when Sigurd began talking.

"Ivar, I'm sorry to interrupt you, but this is about Alex." Ivar sighed at Sigurd. "No, it's not like that, Ivar. I'm pissed. That Paul guy, whoever the fuck he is, has gotten Alex super drunk. Alex doesn't even know what's going on, and he's talking out of his head about you still loving Katia."

"Oh, what the hell! Let me go talk to him," Ivar started to leave Sigurd.

Sigurd stopped him, "No, Ivar. That's not even what I'm talking about. It's just that, well, Alex is drunk and talking out of his head like I said, and that fucking Paul is using his words against him."

Ivar saw red, "What? What the fuck do you mean?"

"He's twisting Alex's obvious insecurities about the two of you to his advantage and basically telling him how he'd treat him better. And Ivar, he's groping him up. Alex pulled away several times, but this mother fucker keeps putting his fucking paws all over him. It's disgusting. I fucking told him to leave, and he completely ignored me. And since I promised you guys I'd behave, I thought it better to come get you."

"Fuck that! You should have kicked his ass and thrown him out!" Ivar spat through gritted teeth. "Where the fuck is this piece of shit?" Ivar felt anger like he hadn't felt in a long time course through his veins. He followed Sigurd, his unlikely ally.

When he found Alex, Y/N was arguing with Paul as he sat with his arm resting on Alex's shoulders. Alex was slumped over with his head in his hands.

Ivar walked up, "Thanks, Y/N. I can take it from here." She looked up to him with a sigh of relief and backed away, bumping into Hvitserk, who had the same murderous stare that Ivar had.

Paul looked a bit nervous as Ivar walked to Alex's side. Squatting down to Alex, he calmly said, "Hey, Love. I think you've had enough. Why don't we call it a night?"

Alex raised his head from his hands and looked into Ivar's worried eyes and smiled warmly. He said, "Hey, my Ivar. Umm, well, you are still my Ivar, aren't you?"

"Yes, of course, I am. Let's get you to bed, shall we?" Ivar gently said.

Alex looked at Paul and reached for another beer. Paul handed it to him as he rubbed his back. Ivar placed his hand over Paul's and squeezed it as he removed it from Alex's back. "That's enough touching, now. I think it's time for you to go," Ivar said sternly to Paul.

Alex turned back to Ivar and said, "But he's my friend. We were just talking shit, Ivar."

"So I've heard. Well, he has to go home, now, Love. And you can go with me to rest in my room."

Ivar placed his hand on Alex's cheek and Alex leaned into it. "Nah, I don't think I'm ready for bed just yet. I was enjoying the party. Have a drink with us."

Ivar stood up and told Paul, again, to leave. Paul answered, "I don't think Alex wants me to leave."

Ivar didn't have a chance to answer before Alex said, "No, don't leave. The party's not over yet."

Ivar helped Alex to his feet, "The party is over for the two of us. Come on. I'll help you up the stairs."

Alex still protested, "Ivar, we still have guests. I'm not ready to go to your room yet. C'mon, one more drink."

Sigurd and Hvitserk had everyone else go to other rooms, telling them they didn't know how this may play out, and that they didn't want anyone getting hurt. Aslaug stood in the doorway, watching, though. She knew that Alex's current state was because of him overhearing her and Katia talking. She knew she needed to talk with him and explain.

When Ivar noticed his brothers had cleared the room, and Alex was still rambling about one more drink, he bent down and scooped Alex up and threw him over his shoulder, completely ok if he vomited down his back.

Alex kicked and then laughed, "Oh, you Tarzan, me Jane. Bedroom. Now." He laughed even harder, "Hey, I may like this game after all. Bedroom, now, my Ivar." He grabbed his head, "But fuck! I can't be Jane!" Ivar even struggled not to laugh at that.

"Ok, Alex, let's go."

When Alex complained that he still wasn't ready to leave, Paul stood in front of Ivar. "Man, he said he doesn't want to leave. Put him down. What the fuck is wrong with you?"

Ivar felt a surge of anger hit him like a lightning bolt.

With Alex still over his shoulder, Ivar grabbed Paul by the shirt collar with his right hand and spoke to him through a clinched jaw and murderous eyes. In one of the most menacing voices Hvitserk had ever heard him use, Ivar growled at him, "What the fuck is wrong with ME? What the fuck is wrong with YOU?! You're in my house. You don't get to tell me to do anything! Now, get the fuck out of my house before I throw you out. Step aside before I destroy you." Ivar let go of him and he stumbled backwards a bit. "Don't make me peel your disgusting skin from your pleading body like a fucking potato! NOW, MOVE!"

Finally feeling proud of his baby brother, Sigurd giggled from behind them. Hvitserk's mouth just dropped in complete shock.

Paul winced at the images Ivar had put in his mind without even blinking. This man was ruthless, and he couldn't understand what Alex even saw in him, but he was not backing down. He wanted to be with Alex, and he was determined to show Alex who the better choice was.

When he got his balance, he, again, stood in front of Ivar. "I said put him down!"

With Alex still draped across Ivar's shoulder and back like a jacket, Ivar tightened his grip around him. He couldn't remember the last time he'd felt such a need to defend someone he loved.

Before anyone in the room even had time to register what was happening, Ivar drew his arm back, and he suddenly punched Paul right in the face with what felt like the strength of a twenty. Paul instantly stumbled back and fell over. He was completely knocked out.

Ivar looked down and stepped over Paul, and as he took the first step on the stairs, he turned back to his brothers. "Hvitserk and Ubbe," who had just entered the room a few minutes before, "Can you show the rest of our guests out and give my sincerest apologies?" Sigurd looked up to Ivar questionly. "And Sigurd, will you umm, can you take out the fucking trash? If the piece of shit gives you any problems, do whatever you fucking want with him."

Sigurd smiled, "Happily." He rubbed his hands together with anticipation, and leaned down and kicked Paul to see if he was conscious yet. Ivar smiled and went about carrying Alex up the stairs, to his room.

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Ivar laid Alex down across the bed and smiled when Alex stretched his arms out and said, "Good morning, sunshine."

"Love, it's night. We're getting ready to for bed," Ivar chuckled at him.

"Oh, are we, now? I like the sound of that," Alex leaned up and reached for Ivar's crotch, but Ivar moved away from him, just out of his grasp.

Alex fell back onto the mattress, "You do t wnat me, do you? So, it's true, huh?"

"What's true?" Ivar asked, having no clue what Alex was talking about.

"You are still in love with Katia. Did you tell her? Because she already knows, too. Too bad I was the last one to fucking know. Might have saved me the humiliation of having to hear it from her," Alex turned his gaze away from Ivar, "It's ok, Ivar. You're off the hook."

Then, sitting up, or rather, trying to sit up, Alex told him, "I should go home. This, uh, this isn't right." He slung his legs over the side of the bed, and when he tried to get up, he fell forward.

Ivar rushed to his side. "Shit! Are you ok?"

"I'm fine. I'm fine. I've said it before, I like to get all the breaking done at once," Alex half laughed.

Ivar didn't know what had happened, but his mind could only guess Katia had told Alex some vile story that wasn't even true. "Whatever she's said or done, Alex, I'm sure it's all lies. You can't let her get to you and you can't believe her." Ivar tried. "You know how manipulative she is."

"Fuck that!" Alex raised up and tried to get to his feet. Unsuccessfully.

"Here, let me help you," Ivar offered and then helped Alex back to bed.

"You're, you're so fucking lucky I don't have the energy right now. I'd fight you on this one. You don't want me. I'd umm, I would, I, umm, nevermind. Can we talk tomorrow, Ivar? My head's splitting open. I, umm.." Ivar smiled at Alex's stuttering, but still worried about what he was saying. "Yeah, uh, you know what I'm saying, right? Umm humm."

Ivar brushed Alex's hair from his face to see he was passed out that quickly. He said his name a few times to check and yes, he was out.

Ivar pulled Alex's arm up from dangling on the side of the bed and took his shoes off for him before removing his own shirt and pants and crawling in bed beside him. He leaned down and kissed Alex on his temple, "Man, you're gonna feel this one in the morning." Ivar smiled.

As he laid back onto his pillow, he thought about the evil that Paul had attempted with Alex. He knew Hvitserk and Sigurd had taken care of everything downstairs because neither had came for him. Sigurd. What an unlikely person to have his back! He couldn't believe he'd welcomed someone like that into his home. He'd be lying if he said he wasn't worried about what Alex would do when he learned how he had to throw his friend out, but he knew it had to be done. He then began to worry about all the things Alex was saying. What was he even talking about? How could Alex possibly think that he was still in love with Katia?

As the rage began to build in him again, he turned to Alex and brushed his fingers through his hair in an effort to calm himself. Then, he began to wonder what had gotten Alex this upset to begin with.

As he continued to brush through Alex's hair, Alex turned to face him, barely opened his eyes, and smiled when he saw Ivar's eyes looking back at him. He mumbled, "Hold me?"

"Of course, Love. Come here."

They scooted into each other as their bodies intertwined and Ivar's arms wrapped tightly around Alex. He kissed Alex on the top of his head as Alex snuggled into him. "I love you," Ivar whispered, and the two of them finally fell asleep.

@istorkyou @chapada010101010 @vero-maris-zamo @lostasalice-thisway @covidinducedsocialreject @tessakate @lonewolf471 @noway4u @galaxy-1000 @twistergirlie

[she-karev]

Easter (Andrew DeLuca x Alex Karev's Sister Imagine)

Age Rating: 12+

Chapters: One of One

Fandom: Grey’s Anatomy

AN: Happy Easter guys! I hope you have a great weekend I just wanted to give you a little fun chapter with the Karev’s. It’s set in Season 17 and it’s a little foreshadow of what will happen as I continue to write this story. And don’t worry I fixed a lot of things wrong with that season mainly Jolex and DeLuca’s death both of which I found abhorrent in every way possible, so this is my way of righting many wrongs. Enjoy!

Summary: Amber and DeLuca spend Easter with Alex and Jo in Meredith’s backyard as their new niece Luna spends her first Easter with them.

Words: 2503

April 1, 2021

“Okay are you ready?” Andrew asks me in the driver’s seat as he puts his mask on. I adjust the straps of my neon yellow green dress with strappy white heels in the spirit of Easter.

“Uh yeah.” I grab my purse and grab the door handle until I remember, “Wait! I forgot something.”

I pull out my bunny ears headband and put it on, I see Andrew looking at me with a grin trying hard not to laugh. I look in my mirror and see why it’s so funny, the ears are long, straight and white with yellow metallic fabric inside the ears. It’s something I rushed and bought at Walmart yesterday because even with the vaccine covid is still out there and the last thing I want is to expose my baby niece. I grin at myself and look at my husband who laughs like it’s the funniest thing in the world.

“The things I do for love.” I simply reply with and adjust the ears confidently and open the door. We both get out and walk over to Meredith’s where she’s hosting a small easter egg hunt for the kids in her backyard. Alex and Jo are there with Luna and so are Link and Amelia with their son, Scout. The vaccine came out a few months ago and all of us took it so we’re good. And we wanted the kids to have one normal day while we were still in a pandemic and we thought celebrating Easter would be a good choice.

I’ve never been one to celebrate the holidays in a big way but I decided to start since Alex and Jo got married and decided to host New Years and Christmas parties. It didn’t last long though with 2020 and everything that came from the awful year, we stalled holidays and birthdays. And of course, it was also the year they adopted Luna, making me an aunt and sad that I wouldn’t get to spoil her with gifts in a room full of people. I still got to do it but it’s less fun with nobody around to see what an awesome auntie I am.

I wasn’t the only one in this car who loved that little girl. Her uncle Andrew next to me also made it his mission to spoil her with love and extravagant gifts. When Alex and Jo first brought Luna home, we both got her Build-A-Bear’s to our surprise. We agreed to get separate gifts which was a mistake because he got her a custom plush bunny wearing a princess dress with ‘Luna’ sewed on one of the ears and when you press the paw it says, ‘I love you’. It made my quiet and naked pink furry teddy bear look less like a gift and more of a hand me down.

We both agreed from then on to get gifts together so we don’t show each other up and after the year we’ve had it was easy to agree on such a trivial matter. Things got rough for us in the beginning of the year and not just because of the pandemic. Andrew had a mental breakdown and was diagnosed with bipolar disorder like his father. He started acting erratic and irritable, especially towards me and a lot of ugly words came out of his mouth when I tried to help him. Not too long after he broke up with me and kicked me out of our apartment causing me to leave in tears. It was very triggering for me with everything I went through with my mother and brother, especially when he broke down in tears after yelling out that his patient’s aunt was trafficking her.

I tried calling him after that because he dropped the face of the earth and I got drunk one night and left a voicemail that made Alec Baldwin’s 2007 voicemail to his daughter sound like whale noises. Basically, I called him a copy of his dad and the only reason he got me to open my life to him was so he could tear it down because he’s a cold, manipulative carbon copy of a crazy man who I hope ends up dead in ditch then he would feel exactly how I felt then. Not my finest moment and he showed it as he ignored me while trying to save Richard’s life and I was fine with that because I had enough crazy people in my life who refused my help so I did not want another.

From what I heard his sister held an intervention for him and he finally got therapy and started taking meds. He apologized for everything he did to me and was looking to get back together. I told him that night I wasn’t gonna buckle down like my mom and go back to a man who hurt me and left me to lick my wounds. After that he tried to show me multiple times how sorry he was and how he wanted to fix us but I wasn’t having it. It wasn’t until he was stabbed while following a sex trafficker that I decided to give us one more chance.

It wasn’t smooth sailing at all especially since I was reluctant to make myself vulnerable again and Alex, Jo and Jackson made it clear they didn’t forgive Andrew for what he put me through since as my actual and spiritual siblings they felt protective of me. I had to work out a lot of my issues concerning this like my fear of ending up like my mother and reluctance to trust him fully again. And with covid and the burnout that pain was increased. It took a lot of work on both of our parts and we had to start slowly but we got back to the place we were in before his breakdown. I forgave him eventually and it took a while and a lot of grand gestures in front of them, but my family forgave him too. They threatened to bury him alive if he ever hurt me again, but I'd say they were good with us back together.

It wasn’t until Christmas our relationship evolved when he proposed to me with a ring as a gift and I said yes. We decided to elope the morning after in city hall with Alex, Jo, Carina, Jackson and Maya present. It’s been four months and things are going good, better than good actually which isn’t what I expected from being married.

After Meredith let us in, we found Alex and Jo in the backyard with Luna. Jo is cradling her while Alex is finding eggs throughout the yard with Meredith’s kids. The sight is calling to me but I’m too distracted with the baby wearing a pink jumpsuit with the hood on that has the cutest little ears on it. I gasp at the sight and walk away from Andrew to greet Luna with a wide smile.

“Hi!” Luna looks at me blankly no doubt not knowing what I’m saying but I don’t care, “How’s my favorite little niece doing?”

Jo chuckles at my doting baby voice, “Like I keep telling you she’s your only niece.”

I keep smiling at the baby too distracted to give Jo the time of day simply replying, “And like I keep telling you she is still my favorite.” I give her belly a little tickle that makes her giggle and it’s so cute I could just die, “Oh you have gotten so big from the first time I saw you and so pink!”

It’s true the first time I saw her was when her birth mom came in with Luna growing in her liver. They were able to get her out at 26 weeks and she spent the rest of the year in the NICU getting surgeries and growing into the healthy and cute toddler I just want to squeeze. She and Alex decided to adopt her after her birth mom died and her father abandoned her and since they both know what the system is like, they wanted to give Luna the home she deserves. I was all for it from the get-go because for the last two years I have been yearning to be an aunt and now I am, Auntie Amber.

“Yeah, you hear that, Luna? Your auntie is happy to have you here with us out in the open and not in some stuffy hospital.” Jo rocks Luna against her chest smiling at her and I do to suddenly overcome with the urge I feel every time I’m near her.

“Oh, I want to hold her, I’m overloading on oxytocin.” I hold my hands out and Jo chuckles before carefully putting her in my arms and I gasp in wonder at this baby, “You are gorgeous, yes you are, you’re the most gorgeous little girl in the world. Your daddy is gonna have to fight all the boys with an ax when you reach teen years.”

“And her uncle too.” Andrew coos as well affectionately pulling me towards him with my back to his front. He holds my arms while looking at the baby over my shoulder.

“Keeping boys and their greedy hands away from you is gonna be mine and your daddy’s favorite past time.” I look at him behind me amused.

“Oh, I forgot about you.” Andrew chuckles at that kissing the top of my head and I look back at the baby sighing with a smile, “Yeah this girl is golden until she decides to join a nunnery.”

Jo laughs hysterically at that, “With our luck she’ll be a dead gorgeous surgeon and her daddy is gonna be downing antacids and drowning in stress.”

“Most likely.” I look at the baby in amazement and I know how intern me would have reacted to this, “I’ve become what I hated three years ago, a woman who looks at the nearest baby like it’s crack sprinkled with hard liquor.”

“Yeah you and me both sister. Okay sweetie let’s get you some milk while your auntie tries to come down from her baby high.” Jo tries to take the baby from me and I try to hold on for a while longer.

“Come on just one more minute or I can feed her instead I wouldn’t mind really.”

Jo looks at me worriedly and turns to DeLuca for support, “Andrew?”

He puts his hands on my forearms and tries to gently coax me into releasing my baby hostage, “Ease the vice grip bella.” I whimpered but reluctantly handed the baby over to her mom. Jo takes the baby and walks to the kitchen with the baby in tow.

I whimper at the loss of her in my arms with Andrew still behind me, “I am losing it aren’t I?”

“No and I am not just saying that as the husband who is supposed to bend the truth when his wife asks him something.” I grin and turn around to face Andrew who playfully adjusts my bunny ears, “Are we having second thoughts?”

I exhale remembering after we eloped Andrew and I agreed to hold off on having kids because of the pandemic. We both know we weren’t on a clock with both of us young and healthy with rewarding careers. When the time feels right, we’ll know it is and I know now is not the right time.

“No.” I tell him and he simply nods understanding, “The vaccine is out but the pandemic is still on going and even with an announcement I will still be behind a year and need to catch up. I’m sure you want to do things and actually do surgeries more than once every two months.”

Andrew nods, “It would be nice to breathe and not see bruises around my eyes from the goggles.” I grin at him sympathetically, wrap my arms behind his neck and kiss a trail of where I would always see those bruises he leans back and looks horrified, “In laws and kids here.”

“Ah let them look.” I reply coolly and continue kissing a trail until I hear someone clearing their throat loudly. I stop and see Alex behind me carrying a basket of easter eggs looking at me scandalized and I call him out on his hypocrisy, “Oh don’t act like you didn’t have sex in a shed next to a corpse.”

He raises an eyebrow at that mention of their wedding day, “Six feet guys we are in a pandemic.” I groan at that and stop kissing Andrew keeping a good distance away to Alex’s approval, “Good now if you’ll excuse me, I have to show my daughter her eggs that I got for her and beat the other kids to.” I chuckle at that as Alex walks inside and I continue my conversation with Andrew.

“Look until the time is right Alex and Jo’s kids are the closest, I’m ever gonna get to being a parent. I’m just enjoying it while it lasts.”

“Okay cause you know I thought that we were…” He leaves the sentence hanging and I narrow my eyes at him to continue and he does, “You know craving pickles and looking to check out What to Expect When You’re Expecting.” I chuckle at that assumption.

“No trust me I would know and so would you. The surge of hormones combined with my personality I would be like if…if Drogon from Game of Thrones got knocked up.” Andrew chuckles at that, “I would act in a way that can only mean bun in the oven. No this is just me being your typical doting auntie.”

“Okay well either way I am more than open to the discussion.” Andrew grins and I grin back until I feel a pain on the top of my head causing me to gasp. I see confetti falling in front of my eyes and Andrew looks at me shocked and amused before pointing behind me I look and see it was Alex who snuck up and hit me on the head with an easter egg. I see Meredith’s kids doing the same with Link and Amelia chasing each other around the yard. I brush the confetti off my head and glare at Alex as he grins, “Big tactical error my friend, huge.”

Alex underestimates me with a laugh, “Oh really? I don’t see any eggs on you kid.”

I chuckle evilly and reach inside my purse pulling out three cartons of easter eggs I also got from Walmart causing Alex to look in fear, “I’ll give you a five second head start.” I offer causing Alex to smile nervously before running off into the yard. I chase him with kids running around us until I finally crack one then two and finally six eggs on top of his head covering us both with so much confetti laughing full heartedly as a family with our spouses looking on in amusement. I never celebrated easter until today but I can honestly say it’s something I am gonna do from now on with my family.

[bad-fucking-omens]

The Witch Twin (Alec V. x OC) - Chapter 18 - Training

Summary: When I thought about my future, I was sure that I had the rest of my life vaguely planned out.

Then, my older sister moved up from Arizona to stay with us — and turned my entire life upside down.

I had no idea just how bad it had gotten until I was standing in a castle in Italy, convinced that I was about to die.

Length: 4.1K words (Complete fic 71.8K words)

Fic warnings: Graphic depictions of violence, death, explicit smut (M/F), referenced/implied past child abuse, emotional manipulation by sibling

Chapter warnings: Sexual situation, description of depression

Read on AO3 or read below

18. TRAINING

Alec held my hand in his as we walked up the steps to our chambers in the castle. He set our bags on the bed, then drew me into his arms. I grinned and wrapped my arms around his neck as I stood on my toes to kiss him.

“We’re back home,” he murmured. “We should head down to see Aro and the others. They will want to see us.”

I nodded. We broke apart, though he kept a hold of my hand as we left the bedroom.

I caught a glimpse of blonde hair around a corner and glanced at Alec. He had clearly seen it, too. I squeezed his hand and gently nudged him towards the corridor that Jane had disappeared down.

“Go say hi to her.”

Alec kissed my cheek quickly before he hurried after his twin sister. I heard him call her name as I leaned back against the stone wall, waiting patiently for him to return with my hands behind my back.

I knew that Alec and Jane were practically inseparable — at least before I came along. They were twins and had lived together for hundreds of years, but I knew that my arrival in Volterra that day in March had pushed them apart. I felt horrible for coming between them, but it wasn’t like I had really done anything other than exist.

Jane was upset that the majority of Alec’s attention and free time was focused on me now. I mostly understood her frustration, but I was also a little annoyed at her for pushing Alec away because of it. I could see how much it hurt him when she made comments about me, and the fact that she wasn’t as open to him anymore. He missed the close bond he had with his twin sister.

When Alec walked back towards me, I could see the hurt expression on his face and my heart twisted in my chest. I didn’t say anything to him. I simply took his hand when he was close enough and brushed his hair from his forehead with my free hand. I let my fingers tail along his cheek before I pressed a kiss to his cheek. I could feel him relax under my touch.

“Thank you, love,” he whispered.

I nodded and brushed my lips lightly against his. “Are you ready?”

“Let’s go.”

We found the masters gathered in the throne room. They were standing around a table that was half-hidden behind their thrones. The three of them all glanced up when they heard the door open. Aro and Marcus smiled warmly at us while Caius simply looked back down at the book he was studying.

“Ah, our young mates have finally returned, brothers!” Aro exclaimed, clapping his hands together.

He drifted closer to us and extended his hand. Alec offered his hand first, letting Aro inspect his thoughts. Excitement burned in his eyes after a moment and he eagerly pulled his hand away from Alec’s to take my waiting one.

“Well, isn’t this quite a shock?”

Marcus and Caius looked up as Aro let go of my hand. They moved closer to us in front of the thrones.

“Brother?” Caius asked.

“Our newest guard has an extraordinary gift,” Aro told them, grinning widely. “Young Eve has what I would describe as the power to create a hive mind. Essentially, she can link people’s minds together so that they can all share their thoughts with each other. She will be invaluable to us once she masters her power, brothers.”

Caius looked at me, a glimmer of something that looked shockingly like pride in his pale pink eyes.

“Alec, you will spend the majority of your time helping her train and strengthen her power, as well as continuing to work on her self-control,” Aro ordered. He turned towards me. “Eve, once your power has developed enough, you will join your mate in the high guard.”

“Yes, Master,” Alec and I said together.

We moved to leave the throne room, but Aro’s voice stopped us.

“And, since I saw just how much you enjoyed your time in France, I have decided to gift you the cottage that you stayed in. It is now yours, forever.”

“Thank you,” Alec said. I added, “It means the world to us, truly.”

Aro simply smiled and nodded. He silently dismissed us with a slight wave of his hand before he turned to join his brothers back at the table. We left the room and, as soon as the door closed behind us, Alec wrapped me in his arms and kissed me passionately. I curled my arms tight around him. When we broke apart, I grinned at him.

“The cottage is ours!” I whispered excitedly. “It’s all ours!”

Alec grinned with me. His smile softened slightly as he stared at me and my heart fluttered at how love-struck he looked.

“Alec?” I murmured after a few moments.

He brushed his lips against my cheek. “My sweet girl. . . . We should work on training your power. The faster that you are able to master it, the happier Aro will be.”

“Only if you promise that each time I get better, I get a kiss,” I teased.

Alec laughed and replied, “That’s all you want? A kiss?”

“I’ll definitely take more if you’ll give me more,” I said with a smirk.

He snorted and shook his head at me. “We’ll see how much you improve, princess.”

Over the next two weeks, we spent most of our time training my ability and then resting when I inevitably developed a headache. The more I practiced, the more control I gained over my ability. I was now able to hold a steady connection between my and Alec’s minds with barely any effort. It was almost instinctive now.

Today I was attempting to hold a connection between three people. Demetri had been convinced to be my test subject since he wasn’t needed by the masters as often as Felix was and because Jane still wasn’t very fond of me.

“Just try to keep your X-rated thoughts just between the two of you,” Demetri warned, though he was smirking. Alec and I rolled our eyes at him.

We were sitting in one of the empty rooms on the third floor of the castle, below the high guard’s floor and above the main floor of the castle. Most of these rooms were used for storage or were simply empty, waiting to be used for rare occasions like this.

The bright sun shone into the room through the long, thin windows spaced along the outer wall of the room. The sun fell partially on my arm, scattering rainbows across the room.

“I think I should try to connect to Demetri first, then Alec,” I said. “I think it will be easier for me that way, since I don’t really have to concentrate anymore to connect to your mind.

“If you think that is the best way,” Alec said with an encouraging nod.

I nodded back to him, then I closed my eyes and took a slow, deep breath to focus my mind. When I felt relaxed enough, I opened my eyes and focused on Demetri. It took more effort to connect to his mind than it ever had to connect to Alec’s, but finally, I was able to see the connection form between our minds.

‘Demetri?’ I asked in his mind, testing the connection. ‘Can you hear me?’

‘I hear you,’ he assured me. A small, proud smile curled on his lips and I smiled back at him before I looked at Alec.

As I tried to connect to his mind, I could feel the connection to Demetri start to flicker out. I clenched my jaw and attempted to focus on maintaining the link to Demetri’s mind while I attempted to connect to Alec’s mind.

‘It’s better to let her struggle. It will make her stronger,’ Alec’s voice echoed through my mind.

‘That’s a little unfair, Alec,’ Demetri chastised.

My eyes widened at the same time as Alec’s did. I had successfully connected all three of our minds for the first time. I grinned and Alec smiled with me.

“Try again,” he prompted gently. “I know you can hold the connection longer, my love.”

I nodded, letting my smile fade as I concentrated again on Demetri. It took me significantly less time to connect to Demetri. Once I was sure that the connection was stable, I focused on Alec.

He was smirking at me, clearly very proud at how quickly I had connected to Demetri.

‘I better get a good reward for this,’ I teased Alec the moment I connected to his mind.

Demetri wrinkled his nose and commented, ‘Gross.’

‘You’ll get anything you want,’ Alec replied, his smirk growing.

Demetri faked a gag as he stood. “Okay, I think that’s enough for me today. You two have fun. I’ll let everyone know that they should avoid this floor for the next few hours.” I laughed as he left the room and Alec rolled his eyes.

I moved to staddle Alec’s lap and he grinned at me, wrapping his arms around my waist.

“So reward-driven, aren’t you?” he teased.

“Only when the reward is from my handsome mate,” I replied. I brushed my fingers through his dark curls.

Alec hummed softly. He raised his hand up to gently stroke my cheek with the back of his knuckles. I sighed, my eyes fluttering shut as a small shiver ran through my body. My fingers were still running through his silky hair.

A moment passed before Alec tilted his head up to kiss me gently. I moaned against his lips and tightened my grip on his curls. I tilted my head slightly and parted my lips under his. Alec pushed his tongue into my mouth. He ran his hand up along my spine, pressing my body firmly against his.

The door opened again just as Alec started to trail his lips along my throat. I groaned in frustration when he pulled away from me.

“Very sorry to interrupt you love birds,” Demetri said. I looked up and almost laughed when I saw that he was covering his eyes with his hand. “Aro wants to see you, Alec. He’s waiting in the library.”

He left us alone again. I sighed deeply. Alec pressed a soft kiss to the column of my throat, then one more to my lips.

“I promise to make it up to you later, princess,” he murmured, rubbing his hand along my back. “I’ll meet you back in our room?”

“Sure.”

He pecked my lips one more time before we broke apart and stood up. Alec walked towards the throne room while I headed back up to our quarters on the next floor.

I took my time as I walked, letting my eyes roam over the priceless paintings that lined the walls of the castle. I loved being able to see each individual brushstroke in the swipes of paint, no matter how small it was.

The masters were meticulous about ensuring the artwork in their collection was carefully preserved and cared for so that they wouldn’t degrade. Alec had explained that if any of them ever needed to be restored in any way, Marcus preferred to restore the paint and varnish himself. Even for a vampire, he had incredible attention to detail and, with access to the Volturi’s fortune, he could get any paint color he needed.

I was looking at a Cezanne painting that humans thought had been lost for decades when I heard someone sniffling quietly, as if they were crying. I hesitated before I followed the soft sound. It led me to Jane’s room. The door to her room was cracked open barely a millimeter, but it was plenty wide enough for me to peak inside.

Jane was curled up in her plush, light grey armchair, her knees pulled up to her chest and her arms wrapped around her legs. I couldn’t see past the curtain of her long, wavy blonde hair to see her face, but her shoulders were shaking and the crying sound was definitely coming from inside her room.

I raised my hand, then paused before I did anything else. It wasn’t exactly a secret that Jane wasn’t particularly fond of me, but she was Alec’s sister, and I still had hope that we could eventually become friends. Perhaps this was my chance to start that friendship.

“Jane?” I called cautiously as I knocked on the door.

I made sure to be staring down at the floor so that when she looked up, she wouldn’t think that I saw her crying. I heard her stand and approach the door, and I looked up at her.

“What do you want?” she asked, her voice rough and her eyes narrowed in suspicion.

“I . . . I heard you,” I said carefully. “I just wanted to make sure that you were okay.”

“I’m fine,” Jane said. Her voice was ice cold.

“Um, okay,” I replied, glancing away awkwardly. “I, um . . . I’m here if you ever want to talk. I won’t tell anyone what you say, not even Alec.”

“You would keep secrets from your mate?”

I shrugged and replied, “It wouldn’t be my secret to tell him.” I turned and began to walk back to mine and Alec’s room to wait for him.

‘At least I tried,’ I thought. ‘That’s all I can do.’

“Wait.”

I looked back at Jane. She simply opened the door wider, silently inviting me into her room. I followed her, closing the door quietly behind me. We sat down in the set of matching, plush armchairs that were placed in front of the fireplace. I twisted Alec’s ring around my thumb as I silently waited for her to speak. I glanced around her room so that she wouldn’t feel pressured because I was looking at her.

“Before you met Alec,” Jane began softly, “did you feel . . . did you feel like something was missing from your life?”

I met her crimson eyes and took a moment to think before I said, “Honestly, I’m not sure. My memories from before I was turned aren’t very clear. . . . But I do remember that I felt like I never really fit in my family. My mother never wanted me, my father clearly favored Bella over me and basically just considered me her replacement, and Bella was always so wrapped up in her own drama that she didn’t care about me until I started to disrupt her life after Italy. . . . But when I met Alec . . . I finally felt like there was someone who cared about me, someone who loved me without being expected to love me.”

“Then why did you stay away?”

I looked down at my hands as tears gathered in my eyes. My voice shook slightly as I said, “As much as I knew I didn’t fit in with my family, I felt like I would be abandoning my father if I left. I knew that Bella had no choice in becoming a vampire after Aro allowed her to leave Volterra alive, but Alec had told me time and time again that I had a choice. Between their lectures and my own guilt about the thought of leaving Charlie all alone, I felt like the only choice I had was to stay and take care of my father. How could I make the choice to leave him all alone, to make him suffer the loss of both of his daughters? The man can barely cook, how would he survive without us?”

Jane listened to me silently, her crimson eyes watching me.

“I know that I hurt Alec a lot, and I will never forgive myself for putting him through that pain,” I whispered, my voice breaking, “but I was going through just as much pain. I wanted to be with him, more than you can imagine, but I just couldn’t abandon my father. I barely ate, I barely did anything other than lay in my bed when I wasn’t dragging myself through school. I cried myself to sleep every night. . . . When Alec showed up at my house that night, I thought that I was dreaming. I thought that I would never see him ever again and that thought broke my heart. And then I woke up the next morning and he really was there. . . . I have never felt more relieved in my entire life. Seeing him again broke me. I realized that nothing else mattered nearly as much to me as being with Alec. He was all I wanted, all I needed.”

“You truly love him,” Jane said. I looked up at her and saw just how shocked she looked by my words. “Even when you were human, you loved him that much?”

“I did,” I said. “From the moment he pulled me into his arms for the very first time.”

A small smile pulled at the corners of my lips as the dim memory flickered through my mind. I could almost feel his strong arms curling around my body, pulling me against his cold, hard chest as my own heartbeat and his animalistic growl echoed in my ears.

“I knew that I should have been terrified that this stranger — a vampire — had grabbed me and was aggressive towards my sister and her friends . . . but I just remember feeling safe . I knew somehow that Alec would never hurt me, or let anyone else harm me either. I didn’t realize until later that the reason he had grabbed me like that was because he thought I was in danger. Edward was snarling and Alec jumped in to protect me, without having ever spoken a single word to me before. . . . And, then, the more we talked to each other after I went back to Forks, the more I fell in love with him. It was an instant connection that only got stronger the more we interacted with each other.”

Jane was silent for a while. When she finally did speak, her voice was soft and hesitant.

“I wish I had that kind of connection with someone,” she murmured. “Even before you came into Alec’s life, I would see the other guards with their mates and I would get jealous. . . . And then you came along and took all of Alec’s time and attention and I hated you for it. You took the one person that I still had all to myself and I didn’t want to share him with you. . . . I recognize now that I really just want a mate of my own. Someone who will love me unconditionally and will care for me and be mine and mine alone.”

“Oh, Jane, I’m sure that you’ll find your mate,” I said, reaching out and taking her hand in mine without thinking about what I was doing. She didn’t pull her hand away from mine as I continued, “You will find your mate. . . . I’m sorry that I took Alec away from you. I truly never meant to get between you.”

“I know,” she sighed. Jane covered our hands with her free one. “I hope that you can forgive me for how I’ve acted, Eve. I know that I’ve been unfair and unkind to you.”

I simply smiled and said, “Let’s restart with a clean slate, then.”

Jane flashed her dazzling smile, the one that I had only ever seen her use around Alec or Aro.

“Thank you, Eve. . . . Where is my brother?”

“Oh, Aro called him down to the library for something while we were working on training my gift. I was supposed to wait for him in our room.”

“Go on, then. I’m sure he’s waiting for you by now.”

We smiled at each other one more time before I stood and left Jane’s room. I walked down the hall and into the room I shared with Alec.

He wasn’t in the room, so I assumed he must have still been meeting with Aro.

I walked to the balcony and opened the glass doors so I could step out into the warm air. I leaned against the wrought-iron railing. A soft breeze made my dark hair flutter lightly around my face while my crystalline skin sparkled in the bright sunlight. I hummed and closed my eyes, simply basking in the beautiful day.

Strong arms wound around my waist. I smiled when I recognized Alec’s sweet, familiar scent. I leaned back into his arms as he pressed a kiss to my hair.

“Beautiful girl,” he murmured in my ear.

“My wonderful mate,” I replied softly. “What did Aro want?”

“A guard found a book while on a hunt. I’ve been looking for it for a few decades, so he decided to give it to me to keep rather than adding it to the castle library.”

“That was thoughtful of him. Which book is it?”

“A first edition and first printing of Dracula by Bram Stoker,” Alec replied. “It’s binding is a little worn, but otherwise it’s in very good condition.”

“Dracula?” I teased as I turned to face him. I put my arms around his waist.

Alec rolled his eyes at me. “I never said it was my favorite, just that I’ve been searching for it for a while.”

“Mhm,” I hummed, a knowing smirk on my lips.

Alec laughed and my grin widened. I stood on my toes and pressed a kiss to his cheek. He turned his head so his lips brushed against mine as he pulled me closer to his chest.

“Aro did tell me something else,” he said quietly when we broke apart. I quirked an eyebrow up in curiosity and Alec continued, “The masters believe that you’re doing very well with your training. Aro wants us to keep it up in the hope that I will return to my normal duties within the month. Which means–”

“That he wants me to be ready to join the high guard in a month,” I whispered.

“You’ll be ready,” Alec assured me. “You have improved so much in such a short amount of time, Eve. You will be ready, my love.”

After a moment, I nodded. He pressed a kiss to my forehead. I looked up at him and he tucked a curl of my hair behind my ear, his fingers trailing along my cheek.

“There is one more thing. . . .”

When he hesitated, I grew anxious and asked, “Alec? What is it?”

Alec sighed, then said, “While we were in France, the masters were made aware of a growing newborn population in Seattle. It was . . . quite unusual for that kind of activity to happen so far north. Typically, we only see that in the Southern states and Central America. So, the masters sent Felix and Demetri to keep an eye on the situation. Jane joined them after a couple weeks. They were instructed not to interfere once they reported what the newborns were doing. The masters had hoped that the newborns would . . . take care of the Cullens for us. It . . . didn’t exactly go to plan.”

“The Cullens killed the newborns,” I guessed. My mate nodded.

“Your sister was with them when the guards found them. She is still human. The Cullens and your sister were given their final warning about turning her.”

“Did you know about this plan?”

“No,” Alec said instantly. “Aro only just told me. I would never keep something like this from you, my love. . . . That is likely why they didn’t tell me what was happening.”

“Why did he tell you now?”

“The masters recieved this today.”

Alec pulled something from his back pocket and handed it to me. I took the piece of heavy cardstock and looked down at the printed words.

It was an announcement of Bella and Edward’s engagement and wedding, which was just a month away.

“She’s marrying Edward.”

“Yes. We assume that she will be changed very shortly after.”

I scoffed and handed back the announcement. “Bella always used to say that she never wanted to get married, because of what happened with our parents and their divorce. But I guess she really will do anything for him.”

Alec seemed to hesitate before he asked quietly, “Would you ever want to get married? I . . . I know that it is important to some people, and I apologize for not asking this of you before. I assumed that you weren’t one of those people who have always dreamed of getting married.”

I shrugged. “I don’t know. I’ve never really thought about it too much. Do you want to get married?”

“I don’t mind either way,” Alec said. “But if it is something that you desire, I would happily marry you, sweet girl.”

“Then I’ll think about it,” I promised, taking his hands in mine.

Alec smiled at me and said, “That is all I ask.”

[taka-chan]

(I apologize in advance for any error could occour in my message, english is not my first language)

I want to say thank you for what you're doing here.

Reita's loss it's really been a big trauma for me.

I was walking toward my workplace when i suddenly received the "the important notice" email. I had to read it once, twice, something like five times before it hit me. I was simply incapable of understand what I was reading. My heart dropped to my stomach, my arms fell and I stared the floor. I started crying there and never stopped.

I was forced to move forward with my work shift, but continuously closed my self in the bathroom to cry the hell out of my soul. I'm a nurse, and when a collegue has reached to me and saw me in that state, she asked me what was happening, if I had lost a patient o something. What should I have told her? I had the feeling that no words could describe the entity of my loss. It's like a piece of my soul has been ripped apart.

Reita has been, along with the others, the family that I never had. They have been with me for more than half of my life. I come from an abusive household, and they have been for a long time the only raft that didn't let me drown.

I felt that no one near me could really understand my mourn. My husband literally had to feed me like a baby last night, me, a grown ass 27 years old woman, 'cause i was crying desperately and was incapable of feed myself. Then I saw you posting the messages from the other sixth guns.

For the first time in days I didn't felt completely alone. Reading the other fans and their grief is helping me in a way that I cannot even describe, alongside with the messages from Ruki, Uruha, Aoi and Kai, and your post with the message for us fans too. Reading that I'm not alone in the grief is giving me the first warm feeling in days, it's something like a perceptible hug. I really feel we are all still a family, and just like a real family we can be eachother crutch in these dark days.

Thank you, from the bottom of the heart. I send you and all the other fans an immense hug.

oh, man....... it's so painful to read

I'm sorry the announcement reached you in such a time but then again could you ever be ready? although yeah it's a much better setting when you are in the safety of your home. I was lucky in that field

The size of your pain is only a reflection of the size of your love and I hope you can find some solace in that. A heart that hurts is a heart that works, after all, because it loved deeply... and that's the important part

thank you for telling me about this. I did this out of my own natural instinct to soothe pain and I just Hoped that maybe this helped somebody so you telling me that indeed reading those messages helped you feel less alone, I feel accomplished. And also very grateful to those who come forward to speak about it in the first place! I'm just giving you space

thank you for being here and take care of yourself🫂