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kyber-crystal · 4 years

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forever & always || s.r

summary: you’ve long since given up on hoping for a better future, but steve’s there to remind you that there’s still something left living for. and you grow to realize that maybe, just maybe, that something was him.

words: ~1.3k (sorry this is so short)

warnings: angsty in the beginning, mild descriptions of blood, fluff in the end, cliche tropes, bad writing. post IW–pre endgame AU, some dialogue is from endgame; i don’t own any part of it. credits go to marvel.

a/n: yeesh this is a complete dumpster fire. i have no idea where this idea came from but i just sat down and decided to start writing, so here we are. buckle up and i hope you enjoy this (unedited) shitshow :3 friendly reminder that requests are open!

Amidst the aftermath of the Snap’s destruction, things were a complete mess. You found it hard to do so much as get up in the morning when the world had stopped moving forward—what was the point of waiting up for something that wouldn’t go on?

There were many nights in which you slid into bed and hoped you’d never wake up again and yet, you did wake up—in the early hours of the morning. And despite it all, you kept going. You kept going, you pushed yourself to make it through the day because you knew that nobody else would do it for you.

You hardly ever got any quality sleep. If you were lucky, you’d get a solid two or three uninterrupted hours, and five was unheard of. You were falling—and Steve, being as observant as he was, noticed.

He noticed how you’d lost the light to your face. You no longer glowed like you used to when you were fully engaged in a conversation. Your smile, that is, if you smiled at all, never reached your eyes. It was rather easy for him to differentiate a fake one from a real one—and he could tell you were struggling to maintain the façade.

Steve felt guilty. Here you were, doing everything you could to stay afloat and pouring your heart and soul into keeping everyone else on the team happy and healthy, but you never found time to take care of yourself. He wanted to help. Seeing the woman he’d known for as long as he could remember slowly fall apart broke him—and the fact that there was little to nothing he could do about it only made it worse.

It was another one of those late nights for you. Natasha had tried to talk you out of helping her, but the pure exhaustion in her eyes was evident—so you’d convinced her to go to bed (you knew she hadn’t done this in days) and took over.

Rhodey had a solemn look on his face as you pulled up his hologram. “Hey, Y/N...where’s Nat? Are you guys alright?”

"Yeah...how about you? Where are you right now?"

"Mexico. The Federales found a room full of bodies," he answered with his arms crossed over his chest, "it looks like a bunch of cartel guys...never even had the chance to get their guns off."

"It's probably a rival gang, then," you shrugged.

"Except it isn't. It's definitely Barton. What he's done here, what he's been doing for the past few years...the scene that he left...I gotta tell you, there's a part of me that doesn't even wanna find him."

You were silent for a moment as you comprehended his words. "Will you find out where he's going next, check in when you hear something?” You looked at him hopefully. “Please? We can’t just...we can’t just give up now.”

"Alright, I'll let you know," he said with a sigh, before disappearing from the room.

Your gut instinct was to call Steve, but before you could find your hand on your phone, you pulled it back. He was probably busy at the moment—you didn’t want to burden him any further when he already had enough on his mind.

Placing your hands on the edges of the desk, you pushed yourself out of your seat and got up. You grabbed a glass out of the pantry and decided to pour yourself a cup of cold water to clear your head, ignoring the sharp hunger pangs in your stomach that told you it really had been forever since you’d last had a proper meal that wasn’t three cups of coffee and half a banana. And that had been four days ago.

You were often too busy drowning in your own thoughts to focus on anything else.

Out of nowhere you’re hit with a splitting migraine that has you struggling to stay standing upright and suddenly the world is spinning and everything is blurring together you can’t breathe. As if it was going in slow motion, the glass fell out of your hand and shattered into a million tiny crystalline fragments upon hitting the floor, and you sank down with it.

You felt the sharp edges digging into the palms of your hands and the bottoms of your feet and it stung, but compared to what you’d been through in the past, it was nothing. The metallic smell of blood overwhelmed your senses. The tears kept coming and coming and your head was hurting, your body ached immensely—everything hurt.

Steve quietly entered the compound and immediately stopped in his tracks when he reached the kitchen.

“...Y/N?”

You tried opening your mouth to speak, but no words came out—instead, a hoarse cry escaped your lips—and the sound sent daggers straight through his heart. There’s crimson stains on your shirt and on the kitchen floor; you’re covered in blood and sweat and tears and there’s glass everywhere. It’s a complete mess, but he doesn’t care.

Disregarding the complete kitchen disaster around him, he carefully kneels down next to you and pulls you forward, and you collapse into his arms.

He doesn’t say anything. Doesn’t say a thing as you let it all out. Your tears begin leaving dark spots on his shirt but he remains quiet. He’s dead silent. Steve brings a hand to the back of your head and gently pushes it towards his chest, and you continue sobbing into his shoulder as he smooths your hair back and uses his other arm to pull you closer.

You clutch his shirt with every ounce of energy you have left. You cry and cry and cry until you feel like your throat is going to tear apart from the sheer force of it and your seemingly never-ending river of tears has finally run dry. You’re not sure exactly how long you’re like this for—sitting in the middle of the cold kitchen floor, wrapped up in his arms and clinging to him as if he was your sole remaining lifeline—but you’re there for a while. And he’s patient, whispering soothing words of encouragement and sweet nothings into your ear to calm you down.

“It’s okay, I’m here. I’m not going anywhere.”

...

You’re quietly sitting on the edge of the bathtub as Steve is kneeling in front of you and picking the glass out of your skin. He winces when he thinks he’s being too rough, but you don’t even do so much as flinch.

He dips a cotton boll into the small bowl of alcohol on the counter, starting to gently dab on the cuts scattered across your knuckles and cheeks. Steve wants to ask why you were in such a state when he found you, but he knows better than to pry. He knows that before anything else, he’s supposed to be there for you—to listen.

“I miss them,” you mumbled.

“I know. I miss them too.”

You glanced up at him with glassy eyes, and his heart shatters all over again. “Do you think we could get them back?"

“Of course. There’s always hope.”

“...You really think so?”

“Ever since you came into my life, I never stopped. Hoping, that is.” Steve cleared his throat. “If we can find a reason to keep going, then I don’t see why we can’t achieve anything we want.”

You cracked a small smile at his words, and he reached up and gingerly wiped away the remnants of your tears. When his hand finds its place against your cheek, you place your own hand over it—and let it stay.

You were ready to go. You were planning to leave for good, but seeing his piercing yet gentle blue eyes and breathtaking smile pushed you to stay. If you couldn’t keep going for yourself, you had to at least do it for him.

And so you did.

...

general tags: @arkofblake @anakinswhore @captainchrisstan @naomiiiiiiiiiii04 @patzammit @rynhaswritersblock @capcapcapsicle @musicalkeys @buckybarnesthehotshot @zaddychris @optimistic-dinosaur-nacho @sylvie-writes @sis-it-dont-add-up @poesflygirl

permanent tags: @sandwitch-god @renaissancecherub @voguesir @fl0ating @cicicantblog

steve/chris tags: @speechlessxx @angrybirdcr @marvelfanatic16 @epiphanybucky @smokeandnailz

#steve rogers #steve rogers x reader #steve rogers x y/n #marvel #avengers #captain america #captain america imagine #captain america x reader #captain america x you #marvel reader insert #captain america one shot #steve rogers fluff #steve rogers fanfiction #captain america fanfiction #steve rogers fic #captain america fic #chris evans x reader #chris evans #chris evans imagine

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unohanadaydreams · 4 years

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Okay so thirst ask (do you still do them?). Are we gonna talk about how strong the 'feast on dat pussy all day all night' vibes are with Isshin and Kenny?

I woke up early and couldn’t go back to sleep SO here we are. also, always ALWAYS do i accept thirst lmao. and we are. we’re absolutely going to clear the air about this!

First of all Isshin! He has a Technique(tm) that he swears by like it’s a family recipe or something. It’s horrible how cocky and cheesy he is about it, but it can’t be said that he’s wrong.

Like, you go home from the bar with him and you almost didn’t do it, but he’s so goofy and open that it was enough to win you over. And you get to his house and the talk starts getting awkward as you both try to feel each other out and decide what’s is or isn’t going to happen. He makes a pretty smooth feel, asking if you were so drunk you needed to crash on the couch, giving you an in or an out.

You’re so not drunk anymore, just tipsy. You’re just feeling the nice loose buzz that pulls a giggle from your mouth where perhaps your sober self would’ve gave an eye roll. No, you assure him. You’d rather sleep on a mattress.

And things are still a bit tense, but the decision is made and he’s getting a little less silly, a little more cocky as you move to kissing on the couch instead of just eye fucking one another.

It’s crazy how enthusiastic he is, how he holds your head between the palm of his hands and gives you the best series of kisses you can remember having while you’re inching into his lap, your hands popping buttons so you can scratch your hands down his hair chest. And he’s so built for his age, still a bit soft around the stomach, but you’re genuinely shocked at the firmness underneath and the build of his arms, not expecting find such athleticism under the loud, awful print of his clothes.

But once you’re in the bedroom, after he’s ushered you up the stairs with his bravado in his skills that you can’t doubt, not after he weakened your knees downstairs, that’s when you know you made the right call to come.

He kisses up your legs as he parts them and the way he makes out with your flesh leading up to your already wet pussy has you doubting you could stand even if you wanted to--which god you dont, you want nothing more than for him to stop teasing you calves and thighs with his skilled mouthing and stubbly face and just move that firm tongue up.

Your wriggling and breathy pleas convince him. He finally kisses your inner thighs goodbye, his parting kiss emphasizes with a firm bite that pulls a cry from slack mouth. And he feasts.

He moves against your pussy, his lip forming nonsense shapes and tongue feeling and searching like he’s kissing your face again. Your fingers barely find their way through his hair before you’re cumming, the combination of his suckling lips and bristly facial hair forcing you to completion faster than you’re used to.

His face is dripping when he looks up, balanced on his arms, and asks if he can go again. If he can do what he’s been fantasizing about since he saw you in the bar and taste your heady juices and feel your gummy insides seize around his tongue over and over and over.

And it’s not like you can really say anything but yes, especially when hes rubbing the side of his face against your thigh, mindlessly kissing your skin, almost pleading. So you do what any woman who’s just discovered god dressed as a loud, silly middle aged man she met in a bar and nod as you push his face back where it belongs.

And Kenpachi?? He doesn’t have a technique. He has determination and primal hunger.

He tells you while he’s spiriting you away on his broad back, something he could effortlessly do with like twenty of his underlings, that it’s been a while, like he has some grand reputation you don’t know about. And you just assure him it’s fine. You’re about to get dicked down by THE Kenpachi Zaraki, after he showed up in the 7th division bar like he was lost. Who knew asking if he needed directions was going to result in a one night stand probably none of your friends would believe?

And when you get to his quarters, you go straight to the bedroom, past an open door with pink everything and you remember. Oh yeah. Oh shit. It probably has been awhile? And you’re feeling a little tender now, getting ready for something softer than you were expecting.

Which is why you let loose a shriek when he lifts you by your ass and pins you against his bedroom wall, immediately attacking your neck with the most intense hickey. You didn’t know hickies could fucking feel like that, didn’t know that someone could suck so hard it felt like needling teeth biting and marking your flesh.

Your clutching at the hard muscle of his shoulders, your hips grinding as the tip of his hard on rubs against your ass cheeks and practically yelling combinations of words and curses that don’t even make sense. You have no idea what you’re yelling.

All you know is that when he lifts his head, a sharp grin on his face, and chuckles deeply, “yeah it’s been a while,” your body starts to shiver under his gaze.

You can’t even get out a response before he’s on you again, this time tearing up your lips with needling sucking and lip splitting bites. Your thighs are clenched around him as tightly as physically possible while the onslaught continues, while he moves you to the bed and gropes hard, like he’s claiming the flesh he’s fisting.

It’s so much. So fucking much. There are definitely tears streaming down the sides of your face as you lie there and take attack after attack, driving you wild. You haven’t ever had this before. Not this viciousness. But you’re fucking melting under him, your skin hot and flushed, all the blood rising to meet your eye-patched maker, seeking his hands and mouth and solid body crowding over you.

It’s when his huge (god, how the fuck is that ever going to fit in you huge) cock, still confined within his hakama grinds between your legs that he pauses. He reaches down to feel his own pants, to feel the wet stain that you put there.

Your clothes were one of the first things to go when he slammed you to the bed and your panties can’t contain your arousal. You can feel your own juices sliding down your thighs, escaping the sides.

He’s smug as he licks at one of your tear tracks. “Too much already?”

You shake your head, “you tired?”

It was a mistake. He laughs like you told a real joke, like you had set up a punchline and kisses you again, his hands clawing your panties up your legs.

“All worn out,” he laughs, one of his forearms pinning your legs to the sides of your chest, pinning your entire body to sink farther than any body was meant to go into a mattress. “Should probably fix that. Should probably eat real fucking good to get my strength back up.”

Oh, it was a mistake. His words force a shiver through your entire body, just like his eyes had before and you realize it all at once. That you’re not some gateway back into the groove of one night stands and fucking.

You’re a meal. He is tired--tired of only having his hand to satisfy him--and you’re his fucking meal. You’re a sacrificial lamb to literal fucking slaughter.

Shivering and buzzing and dizzy from the alcohol and his arm pressing the air from your lungs, his long tongue licking up your pussy, tasting for himself what he’s already smelled, you’re surprised. You didn’t think he meant eating your

He starts to feast in earnest and your back tries to arch, only to be painfully restrained. You’re so loud you’re almost howling as you cum and he doesn’t pause. He doesn’t raise his head and asked if it was good or if you’re ready to return the favor.

He just keeps going, his big calloused fingers rubbing against the walls of your pussy until your moans tell him he’s rubbing the right patch of spongy nerves as he nips at your clit.

You can’t complain, because it feels fucking amazing, your pussy trying to pull his fingers in farther, trying to grip them tighter as your body starts convulse up again in another orgasm.

Mindless and humping up into his face, you’re losing track of time and your breath is almost fast enough to match your heart beat as his tongue slips into your welcoming cunt. His sharp nose is sliding against your clit and you’re drooling as his lips suck against your sensitive flesh, his tongue wriggling in search of your gummy g spot.

The next afternoon, you wake up to him opening the door to his bath room, already showered. He nods at you and you wonder if that’s your cue to go.

Because it’s not fucking happening. You try to stand and your legs are wobbling like you haven’t walked in weeks.

But when he comes back, a couple of simple onigiri settled in his big palm, you thank him and settle back against the pillows.

He stands there and for the first time, seems unsure.

You leap at the chance, at the first opening you’ve had since he wandered into the bar last night.

“So, um,” you say, swallowing seaweed and rice, trying to come up with something other than the horrible cheesy thing you were about to say. “What if I wanted to feed you again?”

He chuckles, husky like he’s talking for the first time that day and shoots back a question for yours. “You wanna do that?”

You take another bite, your cheeks heating because wow, this is all a lot more intimidating and embarrassing sober, now that you realize you’re going to be taking a walk of shame out of THE Kenpachi Zaraki’s quarters.

But.

The thought of last night wasn’t something any other man was going to be able to erase from your mind.

“Yeah.” You pause. “But only if you agree to carry me back to my division.”

And he did. It took a couple hours, where he asked awkwardly pointed questions and seemed to get more turned around the more you laughed and opened up.

But he did.

#isshin kurosaki #kenpachi zaraki #smut #thirst post tower #dude these are so long but i was feeling it #and like kenpachi's turned into like a one shot #wow hope reader and him are living a filthy good life

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grlfriends · 3 years

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The Raven Boys thoughts

ch 1: boi I thought gansey was the bald one 😔 anyway the bald bitch and the nerd who looks like a twink in every fanart are gay

ch 15: wow guys nothing has happened so far... nothing..... we're almost 200 pages in and nothing that interesting has happened, I know the plot is setting in and the pace is starting to speed up a little but wow so far this already isnt my fav book of the series I think

ch 24: ok the pace is starting to pick up and I'm really enjoying it rn, I still see gansey as this polo wearing and golf player fucker but he's getting better I guess, Ronan can fuck off sometimes he's so edgy it irks me a little

on this and on the previous chapter they saw/hallucinated some stuff at that hollow tree and then at the end gansey was like "ohh blue was the missing person/thing I feel so connected to her something something" and tbh I did not enjoy that very much it was a bit 😬😐 for me bc I just dont like when this type of connection between characters bc it feels like the author is trying to force/speed up a relationship they just dont have yet?? and we the readers must accept they feel the connection in their souls and it just feels so right for them to be around each other when in reality it feels a bit lazy to me..... I'm still halfway through the book so it's not like I can complain for real but still ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

ch 42 maybe?? : okay just something's I wanna tall about: can we pay respect to Maggie stiefvater and how organic she made Adam deciding to wake the ley line?? bc it was GREAT and I deeply loved it, i know i said that the book felt boring and very slow and how it needed to pick up the pace but i think this trilogy falls into the lotr/hobbit category where it's one big movie (in the specific case, book) divided into 3 so it would be easier to digest and I think this makes total sense, everything I've read so far (from chap 33 to here) feels so perfectly paced and planed but still it feels natural, when Adam was coming back home and he had a confrontation (well, not really) with his dad it just felt like was supposed to happen at that time with those exact words describing everything and mwah I'm loving it so much

also!! boi do Adam and blue sound so cute together, when he said he wanted to kiss her I was like

bc holy shit do they make a cute couple EVEN THOUGH I do know she ends up with gansey and their energy is also really good but goddamn do they look cute together and to think he would have been her first kiss too I'm going insane rn brub oh my god

also maybe it's the 21 year old in me talking but god did I wish they were one or two years older, it just kinda makes me a bit :// reading to 16 year olds being this traumatized about life in general and I feel like it honestly would change much if all this happened in the meantime they're about to turn 18 bc it would still be a ya book but it would be just?? more comprehensive I guess, adam dialogue about making up enough money to leave his house and getting into a good college so he can live a good life and have a home finally baby that's a 17 year old talking and feeling the pressure of the so called adulthood and being so close to being independent but also still being so young and !!!! I just feel like it would make more sense to me personally

re: about gansey's glasses: did I miss something or have the part where he gets glasses already went by?? bc he shower up at blue's home wearing white ones and there was no tall about it?? nothing else and it makes me feel like I missed something and I'm not sure yet

ch 48 and ending thoughts: ok. I'm not really sure what to feel about it bc even I had a rocky beginning with it I did end up really liking the ending but it left such a big taste of wanting more than I got that it just kinda makes me feel like it was, in a way, a prologue for the second book, where I imagine things will be more intense and already be in motion plot-wise. I have many question but my biggest one is that wow apparently that was the big explanation for gansey wearing glasses?? bc it honestly looks like I missed something or a chapter where something happens and he got glasses, his fight with whelck did break his thumb but it somehow got him glasses too?? or what the hospital like "yeah you're blind so fuck here's some glasses bitch"?? and Adam mentioned something on his face from their fight and??? was the discussion their fight and how did it hurt gansey's face?????? HOW???

not only that but also Adam sacrificed himself and how exactly does that affects him?? or was the whole "oh I've sacrificed myself my whole life" dialogue supposed to explain something?? bc yeah it kinda did but I was left with the thought that he would be kinda like a puppet I guess? bc he said he would sacrifice himself so in a way he wouldnt be himself anymore and there would be something else controlling him and maybe that was just my imagination wanting to guess what was going to happen now

I did think there would be the classic sacrifice scene and that whelck would try to shot gansey and that Adam would step in front of him or idk bc the scenario wasn't really solid in my mind and I did have trouble trying to figure out who was in what place but it was fine I guess

how on earth did Noah pull out chainsaw from his dreams?? man what the heck I need to read the second book

#g.txt

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wickymicky · 5 years

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a month ago i watched every Twice video in order, some of them for the first time, because Twice was finally clicking for me and i was “getting it”. i wrote a little thing about which songs i liked and which i didnt, and i wanna expand on that cause my opinions have gotten more fleshed out over the last couple weeks of listening to them, and also some of them have changed. i just really like reviewing things, i hope that’s okay lol

so here are two or three sentence reviews of every Twice title track, in order

Like Ooh Ahh: i think this is one of their best songs, personally. it’s not as much of the bubblegum stuff they go for after this, but it’s extremely catchy lol, the “i just wanna fall in love!” and the “ha~~ ooh-ahh hage!” gets stuck in my head a lot. i just love the way this song’s instrumental sounds too, the aesthetic of it

Cheer Up: um okay so from hot to cold... this is my least favorite Twice song. i’m listening to it right now as I’m writing this, and I’ll listen all the way through, but i haven’t listened to it all the way through very often. i think the chorus feels out of place, so does the “be a man, real man” thing. i don’t like that. that ruins the song for me lol. i also don’t like the chorus much haha, it sounds like theyre saying “chore up” cause they went with 치얼업 (chi-eol/eor-eop) instead of like... even just “chireop” or “chi-eo eop”... they dont usually have ㄹ for an english r sound at the end of a word...

TT: ah okay nice we’re back on track lol, this song is fantastic and totally deserves to be their most popular song (at least in terms of music video views). when i first heard it i didnt like it cause i didnt like anything Twice lol... then when I listened to every Twice title track in order as i was beginning to “get it”, i liked everything except the “i’m like TT, ahhh, just like TT, ahhh” haha, i thought the fact that it was about the emoticon was weird and didnt fit the video, and the “ahh” was goofy haha. but now? god its so catchy lmao i always whisper-sing along to this part when i listen to this song haha. i love the echo-y reverb-y synths in the verse, and the instrumental in the chorus when paired with the vocal melody just makes it one of the best choruses in kpop lol. i think TT is their best song. the rap break doesnt feel like a rap break, it fits sooooo naturally in with the song, it’s so impressive. this song is so impressive

Knock Knock: initially i liked this song a lot, and i still do, but... this would be another group’s best song, easily, but for Twice... it’s a bit overshadowed haha. the guitar plus the synth is really cool though, its rare to hear a calming, sort of mellow, soft song with as high a BPM as this haha. one of the writers, Mayu Wakisaka, also was a composer for Loona’s Hi High and Fromis 9′s Love Bomb... and you can totally see that lol. all of those songs have high BPMs and are wildly catchy. still, idk, i like this song but i dont have a ton to say about it

Signal: this song is weird in a good way, i love really unconventional instrumentals. it sounds as alien and outer space as the music video haha. at first the “sign-eul bonae signal bonae” kinda annoyed me, but i got more used to it. i don’t listen to this song much, but i should change that, honestly. though another thing is that the music video has a lot those things where it adds sounds from the video that arent in the regular song, and has an intro i gotta skip every time lol, but like thats not a huge problem, i can just listen to the song elsewhere haha

One More Time: this song sounds like something you’d hear at a hockey game lmao. i dont even know really what i mean by that, i dont go to hockey games lol.... anyway. i like this song, but again, it’s kinda overshadowed. if i’m in the mood for the vibe this song has, there are other Twice songs that have it that i like more. it’s refreshing every once in a while though.

Likey: this song is so good!!! it didnt stand out at first, like, there’s not really a huge gimmick like some of the others... “likey likey likey” is kind of the same sort as the “just like TT” and “knock knock knock on my door” and stuff from other songs, but for some reason it feels less prominent in this song. i dont think this is their most iconic song ever, and its not genre-defining or one of the ones you’d mention first when talking about Twice, but it’s just a really solid song. one of my favorites

Heart Shaker: yeah, heart shaker is alright. it was apparently just a couple months after likey, and it feels like a similar concept? maybe it’s just the music video giving me that impression. it’s alright. the music video has the longest part with the distinctive way Twice shoots dance scenes... in that very nauseating way lol... but i don’t mind it lol i’m used to that by now

Candy Pop: so like, was this song sorta made for kids specifically? i guess i’m mostly just being influenced by the music video cause i’m watching it while writing this. i dont like the video much lmao it’s like a pokemon ripoff complete with Officer Jennies and Jin-young Brock. the song’s not bad though, it’s catchy but it’s a little too sugary sweet for me (which makes sense given the concept i guess). i like a lot of ideas in the instrumental though... because it was also written by the people who did Knock Knock, including the writer of Hi High and Love Bomb.

What is Love: this isnt their best song ever, but it’s undeniably one of their most solid. i listen to it a lot haha. the music video has a cool concept, i like when groups do this kind of thing (interpreting scenes from movies or famous music videos or popular culture). i don’t have much to say other than that i like it a lot, it’s one of my favorites i think

Wake Me Up: okay here we go, this is another one of the three Twice singles I just don’t really like. it’s a fine song up until the chorus. i just can’t get over the shift upwards in.. uhh.. scale? octave? pitch? one of those lol, or something else, i dont really know music terms like that very well haha. yeah though i just find it offputting.

Dance the Night Away: it’s alright. i’m pretty neutral on it. i was put off at first but i’ve gotten used to it. though still, i’m not that into it. i get that its a dance focused song and the choreography does look a lot more intense than their other choreos, and thats cool, but that doesnt make me like the music in and of itself. it’s a summer-jam type of song, and i’m not as into those anyway. there’ll never be a better kpop summer-jam than Red Flavor anyway lol

Yes or Yes: this is the other Twice that i don’t like haha. i just think the constant “you only one choice: yes or yes” thing is kind of annoying haha. also the chorus is catchy in a way that i dont think its especially exciting... it’s an earworm because i think it’s slightly annoying, not because it’s satisfying. of the songs that i’ve said i don’t like, this is the one i could see myself getting into the most. this might not always be in my “bottom three”. it is right now though

Fancy: this was the first comeback they had since i’ve been into kpop, and even though i wasnt into Twice at the time, i wanted to try it out just to see if it would change my mind, and it did somewhat.... sorta. it got the ball rolling for sure. it came out on my birthday, the same day as the Loona Fire dance cover haha, that was a good birthday. yeah this song is great, i think it’s better than any of their 2018 comebacks, personally. the concept isn’t all that different from normal Twice, it just appears that way cause the video is so lavish and elegant. it didnt convince me to be a Twice fan on that day it came out, but I liked what I thought made it different from the other Twice songs I’d heard. but now? what I like most about it is how very Twice it really is. the thing is, I wasn’t into Twice probably because the only songs i’d heard were Yes or Yes and Cheer Up, and those songs are still my least favorites lol. Fancy doesnt sound that out of place when you take into account their whole discography! i looove the video and i loooove the chorus so much, this song is great and i wonder if they’ll be able to top it if they have another comeback this year

Breakthrough: okay so in the last one i said i wonder if they’ll be able to top it this year, i meant in terms of Korean comebacks lol. cause in terms of just songs in general, if i include their new Japanese comebacks, they’ve already topped Fancy. this song is the one that finally won me over. this is the song that made me a Twice fan. now, this one is a little outside their typical concept, but they’re really really good at it nevertheless. i wonder if Twice is going a bit more in this direction? at least maybe half the time, alternating between the two styles now? cause Breakthrough continues a bit down the path that Fancy set for them. in any case, i love basically everything about this song, I’m so glad it got me to finally love their music

Happy Happy: so you know how I said that Breakthrough was a change from the bubblegum fun-fun style they’ve had and that move is what got me to finally be into Twice? well that made me think I’d like Happy Happy less haha, but actually I listen to it way more than I listen to Breakthrough, I like it more overall. this is a very Twice-style song, and that’s fine because it’s fantastic. this song genuinely makes me happy

oops didn’t i say i’d try to keep it to two or three sentences?

anyway yeah my favorite Twice songs are TT, Happy Happy, Breakthrough, Likey, and Like Ooh Ahh in that order i think

#twice #long post #kpop review #i'm sorry if i said anything you strongly disagree with lol #o

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candiedillusions · 7 years

Text

You’re Worth Everything [Pt 1]

Edit: PART 2 NOW UP, and now on Ao3! :D

Fandom: FFXV

Pairing: Promptis

Summary: 4-part short fic on Brotherhood-era Promptis. Dork boys are up to some late-night shenanigans because what could go wrong when you’re wondering the backstreets in the middle of the night when you’re the Crown Prince, right?

A/N: WELP It’s my first FFXV fic, so any feedback is completely welcomed!

[CHAPTER 1]

It had been a week since the winter break started, but Noctis hadn’t been able to catch a break. Whisked off to citadel briefings, trainings, reports, meetings with dignitaries, and more duties than he had been able to keep track of, he wondered how he managed to keep one foot in front of the other on most days. He was awfully, terribly, incredibly exhausted.

For the first time in a long week, he had the evening off, and nothing pressing the next day. Every bone in his body screamed out at him to crash and not wake up for at least fourteen solid hours. So naturally, Noctis being Noctis, reached for his phone and thumbed a quick text to Prompto.

Noct: i’ve been released from my week-long imprisonment.

Prom: sweeeeet astrals, finally! I thought my best bud had gone and died on me from all those princely duties :(

Noct: ha-ha. funny. should drag u to trainings and meetings. u can be my stand-in.

Prom: nice try but a pleb like me dont stand a chance at passing off as royal~

Noct: had me fooled. u totally nailed being a royal pain in the arse.

Prom: *GASP* U. DID. NOT.

Prom: :(

Prom: </3

Noct: >:)

Prom: u’ll regret that comment when i BEAT YER ASS in that new dungeon crawler u just got. we can pull an all-nighter. U know u wanna ;)

Noct: fat hope prom. but nah. need some air. wanna head out?

Prom: already otw. anything for u, bruh.

Noct: see u round the block.

Noctis put on a warm black coat and a beanie over his dark locks. The weather looked dismal outside, but somehow Noctis felt a smile creep in despite himself. He pulled on his gloves and headed out - seems like his week was finally starting to look up, after all.

Noctis found Prompto just round the corner of his apartment complex, the hood of his plush yellow jacket pulled up against the cold. He looked like a lanky chocobo, and hell, he looked cute. Noctis bit back a smirk.

“Didn’t know fast travel was a thing in real life. How’d you get here so quickly?” said Noctis, casually bumping his friend on the shoulder.

“Just got off work. Was uh, in the area?” said Prompto.

Noctis gave him a deadpan look. “The camera shop is two districts away, Prom.”

Prompto had the decency to grin sheepishly and flush a little at being caught. “Okay fine, I was just gonna show up anyway and I dunno, either drag you out or crash your couch. Figured you need to let loose a little. And I haven’t seen you all week, Noct!”

“Well I haven’t seen me all week either. I swear I’m just gonna play dead the next time Iggy shows up at another ungodly hour to drag me outta bed,” groaned Noctis. He hesitated, then added, “Sorry I haven’t really been able to hang.”

“Nah, it’s cool. Picked up more shifts at the shop since it’s the school break anyway. I’m keeping busy,” said Prompto.

The boys fell into a comfortable silence, shoulders bumping while they walked. Noctis was glad to be out, despite the cold weather that always made his back ache. He shivered, and crossed his arms to keep himself warm.

“You sure you’re up to this, buddy? Wanna head back instead?” said Prompto, concern in his eyes.

They walked aimlessly for awhile, and Noctis sighed. “Nope. Got some Really Important Reports to look through when I’m back. I’m pretending they don’t exist for as long as I can.”

“Well I’ve got just the thing. How about we get out of this Glacian-level cold here and check out the new 24hr arcade?” said Prompto, hoping it was something that would cheer up the sullen prince.

Noctis took one look at Prompto’s hopeful expression, and knew he’d never say no to that face. He nodded, and Prompto broke out into a grin that was brighter than the sun itself. He tugged on Noctis’ arm and led the way, and Noctis felt a warmth spread through his chest.

Reports be damned. They can wait. Noctis needed this.

“Prom”

It was almost a whisper, barely audible over the constant buzz of the city. Prompto arched a brow but hurried along, a spring in his step despite the late hour.

“What, dude? It’s freezing, and the arcade is just around the corner, let’s go let’s go let’s go!”

Noctis slowed, then stopped entirely, staring straight ahead with an unreadable expression. Prompto followed suit, eyeing his best friend carefully.

“…Noct?”

“I.. I think we’re being followed,” Noct said slowly, as his eyes darted to the street corners, carefully taking in his surroundings. “Don’t look right away, but there’s a guy in a hoodie at my four o'clock who’s been trailing behind us for the last two blocks.”

Prompto raised his gaze just enough to be discreet. He could spot a small figure in the distance, all hooded and bundled, looking idly at his phone now that the boys have stopped. He made a terrible show of looking preoccupied.

Prompto bit his lip for an instant. “Shit, I think you’re right,” he said, stiffening a little as he shifted his weight uncertainly. Then, he threw an arm casually over Noctis’s shoulders. “I got you bud. He ain’t getting to you without going through me first.”

That drew a snort from the prince, as he moved to lightly jab Prompto’s arm. “Really, Prom? Whatcha gonna do, swing those twigs at him?”

“Pfft, don’t be a hater, Noct!” Prompto protested, swatting away the offensive fingers. Dropping his voice to a whisper, he tugged Noctis closer and leaned in. “Look, just follow my lead. You trust me, right? C'mon, just start walking. I’ve got this.”

Noctis was suddenly incredibly grateful for the late hour and dim street lamps - Prompto’s warm breath next to his ear sent an unexpected jolt that went straight down his belly and burned an impressive red on his cheeks. Hesitating for the slightest moment, Noctis found himself fumbling for words while falling in step anyway.

“Uh.. okay?”

They walked in silence, Prompto’s arm still slung protectively over Noctis’ shoulders. Noctís was suddenly hyper aware of the warmth emitting from the blonde, and his own heartbeat hammering against his chest.

It must be the adrenaline, thought Noct.

Prompto’s grip tightened. Chancing a glance, Noctis met his pale blue eyes and saw a determination that Prompto often wore when they teamed up to take down dungeon bosses. Furrowing his brows, Noctis shot him a quizzical look that was met with a bright, reassuring grin. He gulped and took a deep breath.

It’s natural. No biggie. It’s a dark alley after all. We might be in danger. It’s definitely nothing to do with how good Prom looks when he smiles, or his arm over me and how his breath feels on my - goddamit. Noctis shook his head and mentally slapped himself for his thoughts.

He’s my best friend. Get it together, Noct.

After what seemed like an eternity, they turned a corner and Noctis felt himself being suddenly pulled into a tight alleyway that he didn’t notice before.

“Wha.. wait Prom, what the he-”

Prompto quickly placed a gloved hand over Noctis’ mouth, shaking his head quietly, while looking out to the street. The small alley was dark, and it barely fit the two boys shoulder to shoulder. Prompto grabbed Noctis and ducked behind a trash bin.

In a flash, Noctis’ beanie was pulled off his head, and Prompto put it on, taking care to tuck his blonde locks into the dark fabric. Shrugging off his jacket in record time, he tugged Noctis’ coat off too and replaced it with his own before the prince could react.

“Put it on, quick, and keep the hood up. I’ll kite him. Shh - don’t argue Noct, trust me, I’m a fast runner. Meet me at the street corner at the Kenny Crow’s three blocks down, there’s always a crowd there, you’ll be safe. I’ll see you there, I promise!”

“Fuck Prom, like hell I’m gonna let you do tha- PROM!”

The hooded figure following them rounded the corner and came into sight, and Prompto tore off, running like his life depended on it. The figure gave chase. Noctis thought he saw a flash of steel, something that looked distinctly like a dagger, being unsheathed.

For the first time since he was a child, Noctis felt a deep primal fear sink into his gut as he stood there, shocked at what Prompto had just done.

Sooooo... anyone keen to read more? :D

#ffxv #ffxv fanfiction #noctis lucis caelum #prompto argentum #promptis #my fanfiction #noctis x prompto

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ts-akhmim · 4 years

Text

Episode 2 | “GET ME OUT OF HERE ” - Devon

okay so i filmed a video confessional earlier which is uploading where i basically talked about dealing with being a winner/the tomb and having an idol/potentially wanting to go to tribal pre-swap/deliberately choosing the puzzle/how much i love jake so that'll come at some point after this but just KNOW that came first. anyway just wanted to talk MORE because i have more thoughts. last round i was really conscious of needing to micro-manage my threat level and i think im putting in work to do that? im very concious that i cant play the same game as montenegro because im coming into it from a very different perspective/position. However, one thing I can do this season is transfer my prejury game, because i think it still works. What I need to do is to some extent take a backseat, where I'm not actively messaging people first, and keeping game talk kinda limited (but acknowledging it when people talk to me). Like I have the safety cushion of my idol, and my connection to jake/jordan, and to some extent dan and lovelis? like im not gonna be a target (touch wood) and hopefully if i am my men tm going to keep an eye out for me.... hopefully? it also means im not gonna be pushy about votes im gonna hear names and run with it (as long as its not jake/jordan, or lovelis tbh i get real good vibes from him). but yeah id really love the beauty tribe to go to tribal this round ive literally never spoken to a single one of them so i'd love one of that tribe that is a complete unknown quantity to go home DJDKLFSF. but yis so im feeling good taking a backseat but im gonna ejector seat myself forwards at some point, just got to figure out when to push the button

Okay so Bodhi left last night and that was really sad. We had nice conversations but i told him that if the rest of the tribe wanted him out i wasn't going to campaign for him. He ended up making his rounds but at the end of the day, no one felt strongly about keeping him. He speaks so well that it took me a night's rest to get my head straight. Also Trace got an alliance together of himself, myself, Scott and Isaac. Bitch i was SHOOK! I am so glad to be likable enough to be brought into someone else's core. So this kind of perfectly positioned myself and Scott between 2 alliances. I believe we're both more loyal to the one we formed before we found out we were going to tribal, but who knows. I did tell Autumn of the news because i figure if we were to lose again. Whichever of Isaac of Trace remains is going to feel on bottom and blow up that Scott and I were two-timing the DADS. Btw that is the dumbest alliance name I have ever been a part of but whatever. The rat pack has also formed and now him and I are in a good spot. I will say that i am nervous that MISS ALYSSA spoke the comparison into existence, but i really hope we don't continue to flop like Luzon did on Cagayan. But hey! If Denise can go to every tribal council in one season and win, maybe i can too. (PS i pissed myself with my score in winterbells but also F*CK WINTERBELLS, thats all, ty)

Honestly I’m really regretting not participating in this challenge because I feel like our scores are.......not great. I feel like I could have turned out the puzzle and even winterbells. The flag Lovelis made is super cute and i think will fair well bc it’s very clean and neat. It’s not super creative, but it’s definitely well made. I think even if we went to tribal I would be okay though. Liam seems like an easy enough boot for us. No one seems that dazzled by his contributions to the tribe.

i literally am the biggest clown who ever clowned for continuing to overdo it in challenges, if i'm allowed to make it to merge at this point it will literally be a miracle.

So Bodhi left on a unanimous vote yesterday and I'm glad that it worked out as planned! I definitely felt bad lying to him about it all and stuff, but I think it was the best for the tribe going forward. What does suck however is that we lost AGAIN! And it was actually close this time! I'm actually annoyed that we lost this time because I submitted my challenge at 4PM and the reason why we lost was because the last submission was at 8 :/ like... y'all couldn't get it in any earlier? Plus I'm annoyed because I find myself in the swing position between the DADS and The Rat Pack. Personally I don't trust Trace after finding out he tried to play the Rat Pack off as my idea when it was really his all along. To me, it shows that he'd betray me later on down the line. And the only purpose for "The Rat Pack" is so they feel like they're in the majority. So since we lost, I don't mind voting out Trace. Duncan and I called to confirm that we're on the same page. We also found out that Devon is telling us the same things about loyalty and allegiances and I don't like that. He also told Duncan that he would throw immunities and play idols for him if he needed it, and that Duncan was his number 1 ally. But he said the same exact thing to me. So... that has me a little sketch. But I also think that Autumn/Duncan are a close pair, so I may need to stick close to Devon for the long hall. But if Autumn/Duncan think I'm more with them than Devon, I'll take it. I'm supposed to go on call with the Dads soon. Duncan wants to tell them about the rat alliance so that Isaac doesn't use it as motive to get us out. Which i agree that it'd be a good idea as long as devon/autumn stick with us. Duncan and I both feel like Devon might be thrown off since he always likes to be in control, but not actually being in charge. So we'll need to do damage control when that happens. But for now it seems like Trace is going unless things change. If things go how I would want it to, then Trace leaves tomorrow.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1JKqH3EQMlugIe-lwHMYMG2qoVZ7dvIzr/view?usp=sharing

Omg!!!!! Another win that makes me so happy . The tribe is all getting along great and I couldnt all for better ppl. I'm hoping soon to get some kind of solid group together. Kendell adam and amiry are ppl I def wanna work with long term at the time. Just gotta see what happens.

youtube

Not much has been happening lately so I might be able to keep this short and not ramble on and on like i usually do (ill still end up writing a novel probably) yippy yay it's day 5 and everything is still all smiles and giggles over here because we've won yet another immunity!! kinda boring tbh but obviously im happy we won immunity because now that buys me one more day and at the end of it that's all i care about. I kinda did want the brauns to go to tribal however instead of the brains because i just really would like my beauties to get a nice foot hold and a lead in the game, i actually enjoy taking to some of these people, and im trying my best to talk to as many people as i can, which anyone who knows me knows isn't the easiest thing for me, i was reading some of my old confessionals from both my past games and the one thing i consistently got dragged for was not being as present with people, which granted i did improve a lot on last time around for sure, but i still got work to do and im realizing that more each day when i have no urge whatsoever to talk to anyone (don't worry, it's not you, it's (crippling depression) me! I understand socializing is part of the game and i do think my social game is my strongest asset but to me i like to think of my social game as a more distinct kind, im more elusive and i like to be that, if you leave them wanting more dahling they'll keep you around, i dont like to show all my cards, and that's a quality that i reflect in both survivor and life, and it has advantages and disadvantages in both but ANYWHO despite all that dare i say i think im still doing *decent* ? I'm making it a priority to reach out at least once a day to *most people (AJ, Augusto, Amir, Austin) are the ones ive probably had some of the best conversations with where it was the most natural and just flowed you know, and still is on day 5, and with kendall ive had some talks with her i do like her but idk i get this vibe she's kinda holding back when talking to me, and ESPECIALLY same with connor? we only had one private conversation and he gave me about a 3 word response, and if you havent guessed by now i like elaboration or at least a lil bit of personality when you talk, no shade just an observation, so that's a small red flag im very much a person who matches energy, one of my go to's in survivor is being open to the possibility of anything, ill always work with anyone who will work with me, and i think thats how everyone should play so hopefully the people ive been talking a lot to feel similar but i guess we'll have to wait until a vote of some sort to see about all that.. I still havent heard any idol talk or even game talk quite frankly so im guessing people are just still keeping the friendly facade up..... or ...... is it me?? am i the one on the outs looking like boo boo the fool or is that just my paranoia getting to me??? im not gonna send myself into a tizzy about getting voted out when we're not even going to tribal i- lemme calm down. If i had to guess I'd say Kendall, Connor, or Amir have the idol probably but sounds like a mystery for another day because im DONE im clocking out for the night until other people wanna wake up and play the game too oop final note: ok but it would be sick and twisted if it turns out they are all playing the game just without me and im the first boot of the tribe

Waking up on this glorious Day 5 with a new perspective. I originally applied to be on the brains tribe and was shook when I got brawn because let’s face it, my arms are akin to overcooked spaghetti noodles. BUT my tribe is so much stronger than the brains. I’m hoping for a big name to go to shake things up. AND I’m not really looking to swap onto a tribe with Trace or Autumn due to our past game history. Love them both dearly, but it’s gonna be a no from me.

okie so! update from me is i think im doing okay. like i think the benefit of no dua lipa cave is you can just build connections with everyone, you aren't voting someone out every round so why not capitalise on that? i'm so afraid of the fact that i'm overdoing it in challenges like i really need to calm. down. but im reassuring myself with the fact that in the first challenge i only was top because i did like... one more thing than others like its not thattt big of a deal? my puzzle time was clownery but hopefully people don't pay attention to it? im getting very anxious about overdoing it in challenges, but my thought process now is like. i need to act like people have an awareness of it, without getting kinda consumed by my anxiety about it? idk im hoping since most of these people don't know me, they wont notice me doing good in the challenge but truly who can be sure also am really just liking my tribe? like jake is ofc a king, i love jordan (who im gonna talk to later, he is the only one i feel like i have to talk to today), i also really like TJ who i was super harsh on at the start for no reason, i get good ally vibes from lovelis, liam m is super sweet even tho he is kinda inactive and dan is so fun (plus he told jake that he speaks to me one of the most so we love that!!). i've been trying to figure out what i even do about a lot of the super old school players that i have no connection/point of reference with? like people like scott, adam, kendall, aj i have truly no basis with? thats whats so scary about a swap, is at this point in the game i know 10/20 people left aka the brawn tribe + duncan/isaac/autumn, and like 10/20 isnt bad... BUT then the other 10 aka the beauty tribe + trace/scott/devon i have literally no connection to which is super scary JAKSDFA. im just real afraid of a swap. just swap me with jordan/jake/autumn/isaac PLEATHE. im just a pile of anxiety this season idk what to do im like frozen because of how scared i am... maybe it'll be all fine

Well, that was a close one. I struggled with that comp all day and I feel like absolute shit that I only got our team that 1 point. To me, it's inexcusable not to have be able to help my tribe as I wanted to contribute and make sure I made my worth known. So now I'm just this paranoid mess that I would have been in trouble had we gone to tribal. It's been hard to talk to some of these people or for most of those who I do talk to, I just don't really know where there head is at. I'm not sure if this is just a really guarded tribe, or if I really should be concerned. So I don't know what to do just yet. And that's not a feeling I like when playing TS.

Not gonna lie, I’m pretty sad that Bodhi left the game like he was so active pre-season so I was expecting him to do his best to go super far and maybe he did? I don’t know, but I did want a chance to actually get to play with him in TS but we keep passing each other by! I hope he is doing good despite how he might feel being the first boot yknow but yeah <3

The way I absolutely flopped with the idol system stuff is all types of funny and sad at the same time like I REALLY thought I did something only for it to be part of the challenge… That being said, Amir did tell me that he has a theory the idol system might be based on numbers which is interesting! I am super thankful he decided to tell me and we went on this long talk about how we are each other’s #1s which is super cute! I really do trust Amir and I do want to go far with him because he’s awesome but that being said, my #1 is me like I promised myself that I’d be selfish this time around just because being the selfless person I am hasn’t gotten me a win but we’ll cross that bridge when we get to it. We did go over a lot of stuff in terms of tribe dynamics and we both kinda agreed that AJ would be the first boot from the time if we went to tribal, we like our alliance with Kendall/Connor, we both like Adam and we both think Austin is sweet/genuine even if we don’t talk to him tons so yay for that too <3

I am SO trying to sell the fact that me and Kendall are a duo to Kendall which is funny to me idk hjfkds like she did approach me super early on about aligning but I do have the tiniest feeling she did that to mostly everyone but I’m trying to pin us with each other to her so she trusts me more, especially since I do feel as though she is the best connected on the tribe. I even called us Crystal Cox (me bc blazing speed and challenge flop ofc) and Ken(dell) ghfjdksl, I’m doing the most but yeah, I just want Kendall to see me as her #1 in the game on the off chance anything happens yknow?

Austin thinks I’m his #1 which is really sweet? I do like Austin even if it is hard to talk to him sometimes but hey, that happens. He told me that he’s really glad I’m on this tribe (which I have heard from basically everyone especially Adam and Amir which makes me feel cute omg) and that we might need to get a group going soon. I was like…. Tea but I also don’t know how quickly I want to get an alliance including Austin going just because it’s like… do I reveal that Austin and I are close-ish and be seen as a social threat? That just ain’t cute sis! But yeah, Austin told me he also really likes Kendall and Amir and that’s awesome that the two people I feel the closest to are ALSO doing THAT but at the same time, I want to be the one doing THAT the most because I’m greedy (by Ariana Grande) so it’s something to keep in mind!

The way I absolutely flopped at that puzzle… this is why I’m a Beauty cause a sis ain’t smart to complete a puzzle and I’m not brawn-y enough to do well in a challenge hgjfdk BUT that being said, Hagthor beat the thots and apiss and I couldn’t be any happier! I do wish Brawn lost over Brain but yknow, you can’t have everything go your way (‘: it’s funny how I slayed the last challenge and flopped this one tho like a bitch really lacks consistency huh ghfjndmks

Ugh fineeeee since I've been called out... by myself. I guess I'll do the bare minimum. So we won immunity!!!! Wooo!!!!!! Low-key though through out the entire process of making the flag, I just kept thinking darn I wish we voted out someone last tribal because drawing 7 people is annoying... watch me get voted out next tribal council lol. That would be quality foreshadowing. Today I have two goals. 1. Figure out what the method of entering the tomb. I intend on getting in contact with Augusto or Connor for that one. Augusto because he is low-key my number one. Connor because I feel if anyone can solve it he probably could. 2. Set up group chat with me, Augusto, and Austin. So Austin can feel a false sense of reassurance and Augusto and I have options. Write more later maybe.

Honestly im feeling kind of trepidatious going forward which is a little wierd, i just dont feel like ive gotten my footing yet in this game. I think like, im in a good spot to be fine on this tribe because of my social game and how I contribute in challenges, but I dont know if I feel good about anything longterm just yet. What really is bothering me is the tomb. Its gonna be round 3 tonight and I haven't made any more progress on getting in than I have night one. I feel like I have a lot of pieces to this puzzle but nothing is fitting together and its bothering me. I'm also a little upset that if we lose, I could see Liam being the target and I can't see my self risking my position to save him if he cant save himself. He has my name on his wiki page its an obvious association to me, and while I think hed be loyal to me, I'm just wondering honestly if him as an ally is worth the target it may bring. Im cautiously moving through the beginning of this game with a lot of unnease and hopefully I find some steady ground soon.

I am annoyed that we are yet again at tribal. I played so fucking hard at winter bells but of course someone on another tribe got like 238593277 billion which threw us back into tribal... So annoying truthfully. But it's alright, I should be able to make it out alive. I want Devon to go home. But I also don't want to let my guard down. This vote is important for a few reasons. The first reason is that our tribe is very close, so I am nervous that lines are going to be drawn in the sand. The second is that, after this vote, we will be down to five, making 3 the majority. We have an alliance of 4, and lord knows that when you are down to 5, whoever feels like 3 and 4 of the alliance are most likely going to try and rope in the 5th person to get rid of each other. So my plan is to make Isaac and Scott BOTH feel as though they are my number 1s so that they actually stick to our alliance of 4 thinking that I will be keeping them both if we lose again. This is the only way that i can see it working, but idk. I feel bad if Devon ends up going because he's a nice guy, but we have to make choices about strengthening our team, and then I have to make a choice about strengthening my place in the game. Hopefully this doesn't come to bite me in the ass.

Things have been going pretty well for my tribe! We won the first immunity challenge and that really seemed to boost tribe morale. Granted, these past couple of days I've been quiet since I'm trying to boost grades that are literally 0s into something manageable before I graduate hehe. I've tried to keep up with people through small conversations, which seems to work better for me at the moment until I get myself together. Adam wants to create an alliance with Augusto and Amir, which I'm totally for. I understand, though, that he doesn't wanna do it immediately since there's really no urgency to? We didn't go to tribal, so why did it matter! That excuse aside, I do hope that us holding our breath to say something doesn't bite us in the ass because these are people I want to work with! I wanna get something going with Kendall as well hopefully, since I adore her! Earlier, I stated that Adam and I (Adam, really) found our way into the tomb and both flopped in the questions. Adam took another stab at it and found out we've been bamboozled! Someone beat us to the punch and has whatever contents were inside the tomb. I'm assuming it was an idol, but who knows what else is in there! It kinda made me lose motivation to keep searching inside but when in Rome? I'll probably end up trying again despite knowing the end result just because I wanna prove I can be a smart cookie as well. I also didn't gloss over this but I'll mention it really quickly, but I'm sad Bodhi went! He was one of the few people I was familiar with on the other tribes so it's unfortunate we aren't going to be able to connect with each other this game. A king has fallen. In lighter and more recents events, my tribe crushed the second immunity challenge. Kendall stunned with her artistry and I'm still gushing over how cute everyone's character was. I kinda like decimated Winterbells, but I've always been good at the game, and Amir did really well in the scavenger hunt. Augusto and Austin did really well in the puzzle also, despite their lack of confidence in offering a strong performance. We appear to be THEE tribe to beat honestly and I'm loving that. I love our tribe! I LOVE OUR TRIBE! It really would be a tragedy if we aren't able to keep up this win streak we're manifesting.

Sorry for not writing this sooner! Been having a bad depressive episode for the last couple days and it makes me unmotivated to write c': I feel like a flop so far in this game, not because I submit shit scores, but because I find it exhausting to connect with some of these people. They're all very nice in their own special ways, but interacting w some is like pulling teeth, and I guarantee they feel the same about me, which I would expect. That being said, I hope we keep winning, cause I don't have the energy to go to tribal right now.

Heading into a second tribal council, there is becoming less and less room to hide. I am struggling to hold my own against the other tribes when it comes to competitions, but thank goodness it's a numbers game. If everything goes accordingly, I am taking a backseat this vote and allowing a 4-2 vote out when it comes to Trace. I appreciated Duncan coming to me with the alliance chat information with him/Scott/Trace/Isaac, but didn't like how Autumn needed to tell me first. Shows that I really can't trust Scott/Duncan after a swap comes up. In regards to Scott, he outright didn't say anything. I like him and all, but it was a slimy move to say the least. He only said something because he HAD to vote out someone in one of his two alliances. This group will be dumb as hell if they let me swap. I'll flip on them as soon as possible and invite anyone into my alliance. The tribe swap is where I made my 'Slithers' game infamous last time, so I'm hoping for a similar output. Don't forget: I swapped with the minority last time in Guyana (shout out to Jess), so I'm not worried about the numbers and how its split. ALL I NEED IS A SWAP OR TWIST. GET ME OUT OF HERE.

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Thank God we won that based on the tiebreaker, but yikes I didn't think my flag would've tanked so hard. Guess I've gotta get better at perfecting my craft huh, but at least we're safe. I feel nervous on this tribe to be honest, because I think I'm the second to bottom on the totem pole after the other Liam, so it isn't reassuring that if we lose twice I'll either be gone, or I could even be gone at our first tribal if he's got a solid alliance going...the only alliance I have right now is with Jordan and I don't really know where I sit with everyone else, but I'm afraid of overplaying... ugh so annoying! I think I just need to force a couple of game related conversations with people to build up some trust, just hope it wouldn't paint a target on my back for trying I guess...

oh gorl, some of these people on my tribe really think im just the clown of the tribe and cant put two and two together, well guess what, IM NOT. So Amir messages me, which nothing out of the ordinary there, ive been talking to him every day so far for the most part like i said we're a little familiar with each other from our pasts, but i was VERY surprised today at what had happened... what had happened was....he starts talking the smallest bit of game with me, basically he just said, "is it me or is everyone really quiet here?" and so i just agreed with him and i said yeah i dont think people are talking game yet which is a little weird, and then i threw the TINEST tea crumpet out there and i said "yeah ive talked to some people so easily like you, but then there's others who.....i cant say the same for" and i was absolutely hinting at connor/kendall just because i havent had the longest convos with them, which no biggie, but THEN about 20 minutes later i get a message from CONNOR of all people saying "hey adam!" ..... obviously im glad to talk to him and im all for getting to know everyone, but my instincts immediately went off and told me it's a little sus....how not even a few minutes ago i was saying how some people never talk to me and then out of no where the one person i was mainly talking about messages me?? Coincidences don't exist in survivor. Now I really have no choice but to think that amir in someway mentioned to connor that i said theres some people i havent talked to at all and that he probably needed to work on that.. which is true, but cmon. i know the tribe brain cell is missing but at least put a little thought into this and message me later tonight or not right after i say it?? I'm not sure if they have any type of past connection and while I definitely do wanna keep building my relationship with Amir, this will definitely make me question him a little bit at least until i see how some votes fall when we eventually go to tribal. Amir also told me he's had the most convos with Augusto, which is funny because thats exactly how both me and aj feel about augusto, which tells me augusto is really playing the game rn, and while thats someone i want to work with, it's also someone i need to be extremely careful with if we're still playing together down the road. plot twist: connor messaging me has absolutely nothing to do with amir and i just made this whole conspiracy for nothing but idk.... it's a conspiracy IM interested in.

***last add on because i forgot to say how the hell im gonna HANDLE this amir/connor situation... im keeping my eyes on it incase theyre in kahoots and also if they think im that dumb then clearly they havent watched me play before, which is great for me but bad for them, you cant trick a trickster try all you want, There's nothing I love more than being underestimated in survivor because it kinda makes it a little easier to play and gives me more options, so sure ill keep up my fake smiles and act like we're all fine and dandy, ill play dumb and wont even act like im onto them but i absolutely am and ill be ready to make my move the second it seems right

Ugh I feel so DIRTY. I feel so GROSS. Poor Devon, truly. I spoke with Autumn and told her about Devon, and she was in without a fight and told me that it should be 5-1. And then Devon came to me and was like... we all good for the vote tonight? And I'm like ................yes? Lol. I'm good, you're probably not. ugh, this is the part of this game that I hate. I want to never lose immunity ever again, let someone else break someone else's heart!

Something about Kendall is so chaotic and terrifying and I can’t put a finger on why.her aligning was her talking to me for the first time in a day saying “let’s align” and created an alliance chat without even asking who else should be in it which leads me to believe her Augusto and Connor already have a trio and I was the 4th. Are all these focking people playing me?? Like i still cant tell if this is a real alliance but i want to believe it is and not a bluff to vote me out. But also like why even do that, the only person on this cast that I trust and have played with, bodhi, has just been voted out. I’m a free agent and I can help that alliance make it far in the game, but they also have lots of relationships on other tribes so like I might not even be that valuable to them. I mentioned to Augusto about the numbers on the blog, hoping to create more trust because I really really love him and want to trust him but I’m still just so damn unsure. if we lose this immunity and I get one bad signal from any of those 3, if they slip up even once, I won’t hesitate to align and gather the minority. But if they are playing me properly, then kudos to them!

I am just happy i have the idol i am going to put it in my ass.

me when the brains tribe only has 5 members left http://prntscr.com/s8y76g

You know what? https://66.media.tumblr.com/b7b4accba586ad321141b6ba80d69044/tumblr_omule3fwZC1w1swfno1_250.gifv I'm mad but I'm not tight because that same alliance that Duncan and I orchestrated is the same alliance that will get us through. So do I enjoy going to tribal? No. And do I enjoy knowing that Trace created an alliance w/ everyone except me and Devon? No. But the Dads will prevail and I trust Scott and the gang. I mean Ducnan is family so as long as we don't go it's fine. But Devon is my baby so absolutely gotta kill for him. That's what keep em close hahaha But no the Trace vote is a dream come true that I only crossed my mind once and STILL got manifested. Like Duncan suggested it and I said you got it because Trace will be the FIRST to rally all the white boys against me in a swap. Cute or not, Trace will kill me I'm convinced. Like something in my spirit told me not to trust Trace and low and behold: Duncan reveals that alliance to me on Day 3. So confirmed, Trace is leaving so that I don't fall to the bottom of the tribe. But it's all good- Isaac listens to Fleetwood Mac and watches Schitt's Creek so he's a good guy. And Scott is literally a cinammon roll who's too busy to snitch or flip. I don't have time to discuss how much I love Duncan or Devon so we're tabling that. Anyway If y'all need me I'll be doing this 4 part immunity challenge that determines whether I make Final 3 in the other org I'm in so try not to need me lmao

okay so... we aren't going to tribal but its still kinda messy on brawn beach. i kinda have felt this energy for a while, but i don't think jake and jordan have enough trust between the two of them for us to be a continual three person alliance. jake is a very reactive, gut-impulse kind of player which is honestly to his benefit since he is super perceptive. however that also means he is quick to be anxious about stuff in the game, which is the same as me and that is why we click. BUT. he thinks something is up with dan/jordan and honestly i see that and feel it. jordan keeps hinting at dan being the one to loop in and i think that does say something about them having some sort of game dynamic. however, jordan is maybe downplaying that relationship which is scary KLAF tbh i still like jordan and wanna work with him, but i do 100% have to keep tabs on him, his social connections could definitely become a problem if he has other priorities over me! so i think i just have to make sure im a continuing priority for him, so i have to find some sort of information to bring to him (maybe when dan proposes the alliance of me/jordan/jake/dan to me ill run to jordan and be like hey did dan suggest this to you how do you feel) to solidify that sort of trust? idk... i want my j-men to stick together and they ARENT. maybe i need to solidify stuff with TJ specifically more, he gives good ally vibes? but ya... its a mess tm

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babylon-bitch · 7 years

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Just Friends ~ Drown (part 62)

A/N: I write around 9 or 10 chapter a head, and currently I’m writing the Christmas chapters. I want to get those out around the holiday season, so you’re gonna get around 2 or 3 chapters a week for a while, just a heads up so you don’t get confused. Also this is Harper’s cover: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=FU5ifmugneM

Harper White is best friends with Luke Hemmings, they always have been. Not only is she friends with the rockstar, but with the rest of 5 Seconds Of Summer, as well as a really nice girl named Erika.

Harper has a few secrets, she can play all the instruments the boys play and many more. It’s a talent she has kept hidden, only very few people know.

What will happen to the six teens, wondering around the world together

***

Harper’s P.O.V.

“Josh, wake up.” I shake his shoulder.

“Name me one good reason why.” He states.

“Because we’re about to land so you need to put your seatbelt on, mum would kill me if I left you, you’re sitting on my earphone wire so I’ve got limited mobility, and I was told to.” I state multiple.

“Well aren’t you a smarty pants.” He sighs and rubs his eyes.

“Thanks.” I say.

“Who told you to wake me up?” He asks, sitting up straight.

“Angus.” I say.

“Oh, hey, forgot about you.” Josh turns towards Angus.

“You’re just bitter I got the window seat.” Angus declares.

“Shut up.” Josh mutters. “I’m the oldest, I should get to pick where I sit.” He complains.

“Where’d you get that from?” I ask.

“The rules.”

“Well in that case I’m the youngest so I should get to pick where I sit, because I don’t wanna be in the middle.”

“You need to reread the rules, mate.” Angus tells me.

“Okay, fuck the rules, if we’re gonna do this properly, either Josh or me should get the window seat and you be in the middle because it goes in order.” I say.

“Ugh I hate being the middle child.” Angus groans.

“I love being the youngest because I’m the favourite.” I say smugly.

“I love being the oldest so I can be the boss.” Josh repeats my tone. “And I don’t think that’s true, I’m the favourite.”

“Okay, if that’s right, why did mum and dad pay for my flight?” I smirk.

“What?” They say in unison.

“What?” I raise an eyebrow.

“I’m a uni student, I have limited money.” Josh exclaims.

“Me too, you actually have a steady job, you probably have more money than us.” Angus states.

“Like I said, I’m the youngest, check the rules.” I wink and turn my attention to my phone, drowning their grumbles.

“Is it true you played for her flight and not ours?” Is the first thing Angus asks when we meet up with our parents.

“I told you not to tell them.” Mum tells me.

“They were ganging up on me!” I play the victim and rest my head on her shoulder, whilst wrapping my arms around her, making her loosely wrap her arms around me.

“You were bragging that you were the favourite.” Josh calls me out.

“Hey, I just broke up with my boyfriend, cut me some slack.” I say.

“Harper that was nearly 11 months ago.” Angus deadpans.

“It still hurts.” I clutch my heart.

“God, anything to wind up your brothers.” Dad laughs and I high five him.

“Great strat right?” I laugh.

It’s been a while, it’s nearly Halloween so I decided I’d join my brother’s when they go home instead of getting wasted at some lame party I’ll barely remember in the morning this year. It’s probably better for me because I’ve been out a lot recently, and a couple weeks free of heavily drinking will do me good.

I’ve really just ignored everything and tried to get through uni. I finished my first year of university last month, and now I’m in my second year. I’ve thrown everything over my shoulder, waiting to deal with it later, and not looked back

The only time I’m open is when I’m with my therapist, and that lasts for an hour and a bit, then the next day I’m shut tight. I haven’t talked to the boy’s or girls in ages, the last I had contact with them is when I ran into Calum. I’m only talking physical.

I’ve thought about them a lot, especially one boy, but I’m waiting to deal with that later, I’m not in the right headspace to sort that out because that’s gonna take a long time, and I’m just not in the right place to do so right now.

That’s if I can ever deal with that.

It’s weird, I haven’t moved on from where I was like 8 months ago, I’ve just accumulated more pain and more clutter, and after 10 and a bit months, you would of thought I’d be able to move on, but I just can’t. I physically can’t. I’ve tried, but my heart just hurts if I try to move on. I’ve done it successfully a few times, but for a solid week and a bit after, I’m just so fucking guilty.

There was a close time where I almost called Luke. I’d went home with a guy the previous night, then the next night I was drunk and crying, and I just stared at his contact for what could’ve been minutes or hours, I’m not sure, but my thumb hovered over call for ages, and at one point I fell asleep.

I’ve been tempted to talk to the other boys, but if I need to move on from Luke, talking to his best friends isn’t gonna help much.

“Can we go now?” I whine, had enough of all this mushy stuff.

“Fine.” Dad sighs exasperated.

Last time I’d come back with my brother’s, I was still with Luke and days away from a break up. It’s weird to think that, because I had no idea at all that that was gonna happen, and it was such a shock when he told me, I almost didn’t believe him, but the way his voice cracked and the desperate tone of voice told me it was real.

It seems like a life time ago I was actually with Luke and happy, yet it only seems like yesterday.

“Can’t wait to go you to see the new arrangements, we moved things around and now it looks so much better.” My mum excitedly says.

“I’m sure it looks great mum.” I tell her.

“What she said.” Josh points at me.

“Shotgun not sitting in the middle.” I call.

“Same.” Josh calls.

“Shotgun.” Angus says.

“Hey you can’t call it, I just did.” Josh tells Angus.

“You didn’t actually say shotgun, plus I’d tone your voice down because shouting shotgun in an airport is not too wise.” Angus informs.

“It’s the rules.” I say into his ear before walking away.

“I hate you guys so much, I’m the oldest.” Josh grumbles.

“With the oldest anger problem too.” Angus teases and we high five.

Luke’s P.O.V.

“And that’s tour done!” Ashton exclaims as we step off the plane.

“It was so much fun.” Calum smiles.

“Yeah.” I agree.

“I’m so excited to be reunited with my bed.” Michael breathes a sigh of relief.

“Same, but before I do that, I’ll need to pee because I’m kinda desperate.” Calum says.

“Really Calum?” I ask.

“Yeah!”

“Why couldn’t you pee on the plane?” I question.

“Because when I flush, it sounds like I broke the plane.” He explains.

“Are your parents related?” I ask.

“No.” He shakes his head confused.

“Then why are you so stupid?” I ask.

“I was probably dropped as a baby.” He shrugs.

“And then dropped on every step on the stairs.” I mumble.

“Take that stick out your ass, Hemmings.” Michael tells me.

“Been trying to for the past 11 months.” I sigh.

“Holy fuck, how big is it?” Calum exclaims.

“It can’t be that big, he’s just being a baby.” Ashton tunes in.

“Well, you try losing someone important to you, see how you feel then.” I glare at him.

“Okay so apparently it’s a whole fucking oak forest.” Michael says.

“Just leave me alone.” I groan.

“Honestly Luke, when are you gonna get over her?“ Michael questions.

“I’m asking myself the same question.” I shake my head. “I just can’t I don’t know why, I’ve tried, I’ve tried so hard, but it doesn’t work.”

“What have you done with a girl ever since you broke up with Harper?” Calum questions.

“I hooked up with one girl last month, and it just wasn’t the same, I didn’t enjoy it, and I was out of there as soon as possible.”

“Maybe because you were so used to doing it with love, and it didn’t feel the same because it was meaningless.” Ashton suggests.

“Maybe.” I nod.

“Did you feel guilty at all.” Calum asks.

“So fucking guilty.” I answer. “It was like I was cheating on her all over again.”

“What went on with that? Like did you know it was another girl? Did you think it was Harper because you were so drunk? Did you intentionally sleep with another girl? We don’t really know what happened.” Ashton bumbards me with questions.

“I think a part of me thought it was Harper, but as it went on I noticed little things that Harper didn’t have or do or whatever. I know being drunk isn’t an excuse, but I was just so out of it, I wasn’t thinking. It just sorta happened and when I woke up in the morning, I was devastated, and I didn’t know what to do, I knew I’d have to tell her, because I couldn’t keep that in. I decided to tell her face to face, because I’m already a shitty person for sleeping with someone else, I dont want to be even shittier by not.”

“You really did fuck up.” Michael tells me.

“You think I don’t know that?” I raise an eyebrow.

“Did you know her at all?” Calum asks.

“No idea who she was.” I shake my head.

“Do you remember he name?” Ash questions.

“I can’t even remember what she looked like, let alone her name. I think she was blonde.” I try to remember.

“Did she know who you were?” Calum questions.

“I can barely remember anything of that night, how am I supposed to remember the specifics?” I sigh.

“But you remember sleeping with her?” Michael asks.

“Yeah.” I nod.

“You did actually sleep with her right? You didn’t like imagine it or something?” Calum asks.

“I defiantly did because I remember her leaving in the morning, leaving me her number. Plus, there were paparazzi pictures of me and her I think.” I answer as we get into a car.

“Oh yeah, that caused a lot of drama.” Michael laughs. “What did Harper say about those?”

“Uh, she asked me about them and I just told her she was drunk and I was helping her, she bought it because she trusted me, and look where that went – down the drain.”

***

“Luke!” My mum calls for me.

“Yeah?” I shout back.

“Come down.”

I sigh, putting on a shirt, as I walk out, because I just got out the shower. Skipping down the stairs, I go towards the kitchen where I here talking. Walking in I see Michael, Calum and Ashton.

“Hey guys?” I ask confused.

“Hi, we’re going to surprise the girls.” Michael says.

“And by girls you mean…”

“Erika and Maddie.” Ashton answers.

“Yeah not Harper because you know, she’s not in the country.” Calum explains.

“Right.” I nod. “Anything else?”

“Yeah we’re gonna be livestreaming it.” Ashton replies.

“Why?” I question.

“Because why not?” Calum tells me.

“But like, there’s no point.” I furrow my eyebrows.

“Get with the times, people love this shit, the amount of videos I’ve watched of soldiers coming home is astonishing.” Michael exclaims.

“We’re not soldiers though.” I state.

“So? People will still love it.”

“Okay, why livestream though?”

“So people can be in the moment.” Ashton encourages.

“Whatever.” I shake my head, going into the fridge.

“When are we going?” Calum asks, looking up from his phone.

“In a minute.”

Walking up Erika’s drive way, Ashton has his phone out, and we’re all a little giddy.

“So they have no idea we’re home?” I ask.

“Nope.” Ashton shakes his head.

“Who’s knocking?” Michael questions.

“I’ll do it.” Calum calls and knocks on the door.

“I hope she’s in.” I chuckle.

We hear the door make sounds and it opens, revealing Erika, and her eyes instantly widen.

“Guys!” She shrieks and instantly hugs Calum.

“Erika!” Calum mocks and wraps his arms around her torso.

“What’s going on out her- oh my God.” The voice of Maddie says.

“Maddie!” Michael grins and pulls her into a hug.

Calum lets go of Erika then she comes up towards me, and I pull her into a hug. “I missed you.” She tells me.

“Aw, I missed you too.” I smile and let go of her.

“How’ve you been?” She asks.

“Fine.” I nod, stuffing my hands into my pockets. “You?”

“Good, missed everyone like crazy.” Erika sighs. “I’ll uh speak in a minute.” She gestures towards the other boys.

“Yeah.”

“Luke!” Maddie grins.

“Hi!” I chuckle, pulling her into a quick hug. “How has it been with out your one true love?” I joke.

“Better actually.” She answers and I playfully glare at her. “Nah, your one true love is 15 minutes away.”

“What?” I ask but she walks away.

I watch Ashton say goodbye to his phone and he puts it in his pocket, a smile plastered onto his face.

“Who else at you surprising?” Erika asks.

“It’s just you, no one left, because we’re loners.” Calum laughs.

“I take it you already did Harper then?” Erika raises and eyebrow.

“What?” We question.

“Did she not tell you?” Erika asks.

“No, we haven’t spoken to her in months.” Calum shakes his head.

“Really? She didn’t tell you?” Maddie asks.

“Clearly.” Michael replies.

“Oh.” She mumbles.

“That’s unfortunate.” Erika scratches the back of her neck.

“What did she tell you?” I ask.

“Uh, she said, hi, back in Aus for a little, wanna meet up at some point? It’ll do me good to take a break from everything haha.” Erika reads from her phone, making me shake my head.

“I guess she’s officially done with us.” Ashton sighs.

“I don’t think she knows you’re here, to be honest.” Maddie states.

“Actually that’s very true, you should go over and surprise her, I can assure you she doesn’t hate you, and she won’t be mad if you surprise her.” Erika explains.

“You think?” Michael questions.

“Yeah.” She nods.

“Well next stop, Harper’s.”

*** Michael’s P.O.V.

“You know I think I’m just gonna go home, she doesn’t want to see me and I have to respect that, you carry on and I’ll just watch the stream.” Luke tells us.

“You sure?” Calum asks.

“Yeah, I’ll catch you guys later.” He gives us a sad smile.

“Alright, bye.” I wave and he waves back, then crosses the road going over to his house, which is just a few houses down.

“I’m kinda nervous.” Ashton says pulling out his phone

“Same.” I agree walking up the stairs.

“Do you think she’s in? There’s no cars on the driveway.” Calum points out.

“Ma-”

“Wait, I can hear music.” I cut Ashton off.

“You can?” Calum furrows his eyebrows.

“Yeah, listen.” I reply and we all go silent, hearing the faint sound of a piano.

“Wow that sounds really nice.” Calum comments.

“Yeah, she probably won’t be able to hear us if we knock.” Ashton states.

“Let’s go through the back, it’s always open.” Calum says making me me snicker.

“Nah, that’s not Harper.” I laugh.

“This is a sentimental moment we’re about to have!” Ashton exclaims.

We walk round, going through the gate walking up the path we meet the backdoor.

Calum opens it and the music gets louder, but now a voice runs with it, and it sounds a lot like Harper’s. We all look at each other in confusion and Ashton readjusts his phone as we make our way towards the noise.

Walking into the living room, we see Harper sat at a grand piano, her fingers moving over the keys, as her voice runs like liquid honey with the music.

I take a listen to the lyrics and they’re heart breaking.

What doesn’t kill you makes you wish you were dead. Got a hole in my soul, growing deeper and deeper. And I can’t take one more moment of this silence. The loneliness is haunting me. And the weight of the world’s getting harder to hold up.

It comes in waves, I close my eyes. Hold my breath and let it bury me. I’m not okay, and it’s not alright. Won’t you drag the lake and bring me home again?

Who will fix me now? Dive in when I’m down? Save me from myself, don’t let me drown. Who will make me fight? Drag me out alive? Save me from myself, don’t let me drown.

What doesn’t destroy you, leaves you broken instead. Got a hole in my soul growing deeper and deeper. And I can’t take one more moment of this silence. The loneliness is haunting me. And the weight of the world’s getting harder to hold up.

It comes in waves, I close my eyes. Hold my breath and let it bury me. I’m not okay, and it’s not alright Won’t you drag the lake and bring me home again?

Who will fix me now? Dive in when I’m down? Save me from myself, don’t let me drown. Who will make me fight? Drag me out alive? Save me from myself, don’t let me drown.

‘Cause you know that I can’t do this on my own. (Woah oh oh oh) ‘Cause you know that I can’t do this on my own. (Woah oh oh oh) ‘Cause you know that I can’t do this on my own. (Woah oh oh oh) (‘Cause you know that I can’t do this on my own.)

Who will fix me now? Who will fix me now? Who will fix me now? Dive in when I’m down? Save me from myself, don’t let me drown.

( https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=FU5ifmugneM)

The boys and I look at each other in shock, and a little confusion. It takes years for someone to play piano like that, and I’ve known Harper for years, and I’ve not seen her play any type of instrument besides a ukulele. I knew she could sing, and she was very shy about that, but that’s all I know.

“Suprise.” Ashton cautiously says.

Harper suddenly turns around, her eyes widen and a smile grows on her face.

“What are you guys doing here?” She asks.

“Uh, enough about us, what was that, since when could you play piano?” Calum changes the subject.

“What are you guys doing here?” She repeats, making us laugh.

“Well?” I raise an eyebrow.

“We’ve gotta go, there’s a conversation ahead of us and I’ll update you later.” Ashton says to his phone.

“You were recording?” Harper questions.

“Livestreaming.” Ashton corrects.

“Oh wow.”

“So, music lady, explain.” I urge.

“Music lady?” She laughs and I nod. “Uh, I’ve been playing since I was like 10.”

“10?” We all exclaim.

“10.” She confirms.

“How come we’ve never seen you play before?” Ashton questions.

“I don’t know, it’s my own little secret, it’s not a big deal.” She shrugs.

“It’s a big deal, you’ve kept it for 9 years.” Calum tells her.

“Whatever, can we talk about this later?” Harper begs.

“Fine, but give me a hug first.”

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cuddlingsun · 7 years

Text

hello @ciaoloueh (or her phansona, danielbear) has tagged me to do this thingy and it’s long bUT THATS FINE BECAUSE I FIXED IT SO NOW I CAN MENTION PEOPLE AND DO A READ MORE AND LIFE IS BEAUTIFU

Rules: Once you have been tagged you are supposed to write 92 truths about yourself. At the end, choose 25 people to tag!

THE LAST… 1. Drink: water! I tried to drink some after waking up (and another sip just now) because who knows if I drink enough it might be a step to being healthier

2. Phone call: my mom, who called to ask what kind of math my brother has

3. Text message: cbs™ got a very excited text about how i can mention people now, it’s truly revolutionary

4. Song you listened to: green light by lorde i think

5. Time you cried: i remember crying in my dream last night but can’t remember the actual time sorry

HAVE YOU EVER… 6. Dated someone twice: nope

7. Been cheated on: nope

8. Kissed someone and regretted it: nope

9. Lost someone special: yup

10. Been depressed: well I think so, but like it wasn’t officially diagnosed and all, do feel tons better rn even if it isn’t all that amazing yet

11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: nope

LIST 3 FAVOURITE COLORS:

12. dark red

13. dark blue

14. the purple/olive green/brown aesthetic that hana gave me lmao

I JUST LOVE A LOT OF THINGS OKAY FIGHT ME

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU… 15. Made new friends: yes! though the real life ones aren’t proper friends but the online ones are I guess :D

16. Fallen out of love: sort of??? maybe it was before this past year so idk let’s say no so I feel better about it

17. Laughed until you cried: i’d sure hope so

18. Found out someone was talking about you: ha yes but not that i care too much about it, trying to not have any contact with those people anyway

19. Met someone who changed you: not sure, don’t think so

20. Found out who your true friends are: sort of? i kind of decided to not try too hard for people that don’t try for me? like there’s a difference between being scared to start conversations and just generally not caring abt me as a person u know

21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: nope

22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: i’m going to count it hold up -- 44 out of the 51

23. Do you have any pets: sadly no

24. Do you want to change your name: sort of did but not anymore? i like to use bus because it’s easy and a nickname but i can live with my name i guess (though maybe change the official spelling lmao)

25. What did you do for your last birthday: i had some friends over and had a chilled out get together (and my mom had cooked dinner) which was nice I guess (also two of my friends got me a book which nearly made me cry but all right)

26. What time did you wake up: around nine I think? woke up around 6.25 then around 8.06 and then somewhere before 9.30 (i’m being specific if u care to read this far you won’t mind anyway)

27. What were you doing at midnight last night: trying to sleep by daydreaming

28. Name something you cannot wait for: I cannot wait for a bunch of things but myself aside i can’t wait for one direction to come back?? which sounds selfish i mean i love their solo careers but boys i miss u

29. When was the last time you saw your mother: last night when she had made some tea but it was too sour for me and then i went to bed (i just went downstairs and saw her again, if that makes u happier)

30. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life: we can’t get into this now fully, but i feel like having tons of money could make a big change to my current situation

31. What are you listening to right now: nothing tbh (also changed to green light when i came back, i was halfway through)

32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: lmao yes he helped teach maths at uni which was cool i guess

33. Something that is getting on your nerves: me but also in general the state of the world, but also me a lot

34. Most visited website: tumblr probably lmao

35. Elementary: was cool I guess, i had a real good year and then it was shitty again but overall could have been worse

36. High School: wasn’t the best, could’ve been worse. i don’t really feel any type of Big Feelings towards any of these

37. College/university: sadly didn’t finish the one thing, so next year i’m starting law? (wish me luck tbh) and afterwards i want to genuinely study physics/chemistry at some point again but who knows if it will happen and when 38. Hair colour: brown

39. Long or short hair: short, but it’s been growing quite a lot

40. Do you have a crush on someone: not that i know of and boy is it good i love it finally time to focus on MYSELF am i rite ladies

41. What do you like about yourself: my mind mostly, physically i don’t LIKE anything but i’m not in full hatred either so there’s that

42. Piercings: i had my ears pierced but i don’t wear jewelry so

43. Blood type: i believe O but i’m not sure and don’t know the positive/negative thingy

44. Nickname: lmao hana literally referred to me as bus here so that, don’t really have any others?? bush but i don’t really like that one so

45. Relationship status: single and v v v v happy with that

46. Zodiac sign: libra

47. Pronouns: she/her

48. Favourite TV show: brooklyn nine-nine, merlin, elementary (and well doctor who, victoria and dirk gently too) (also liked selfie?? and atlantis, galavant, agent carter)

49. Tattoos: none 50. Right or left hand: right (though i want to learn writing with both hands tbh)

FIRST… 51. Surgery: i think they did something with my ears when i was really really young so I don’t even remember it (and i’m scared of surgery so let’s keep it this way)

52. Piercing: the one but also none u feel

54. Sport: i did ballet which i loved but then i had to stop or go on with people who were like two or three years older than me and were way better so i quit

55. Vacation: i mean i went to turkey every year even as a tiny baby i think so that probably?

56. Pair of trainers: i was a tiny child, how should i remember this

57. Eating: ah okay not first so um had a tiny bit of chocolate but still deciding on breakfast

58. Drinking: the water is still there, i’ll take a sip now

59. I’m about to: figure out what to read whilst i hide from the cleaning lady for three hours (and probably eat something first)

60. Listening to: currently it’s royals also by lorde

61. Waiting for: a simple thing rn because we’re not that deep yet: a burst of motivation to go shopping tonight with my sister and her friend

62. Want: general Big Life Things, but also just books??? i fucking love books NO FUCK I WANT TIME LOTS OF TIME SO I CAN DO EVERYTHING I WANT TO DO

63. Get married: not planning to but who knows life is weird

64. Career: okay look the most ideal one would be a scientist and an author but we all know studying law won’t get me there so we’re still figuring it out, but scientist and author??? especially scientist??? id die for that man

YOUR TYPE… 65. Hugs or kisses: currently feeling a good hugs (woah, we would never have guessed tumblr user cuddlingsun)

66. Lips or eyes: eyes i guess??

67. Shorter or taller: taller??? look I don’t Know these things

68. Older or younger: probably older??? but also like younger is fine??? idk

70. Nice arms or nice stomach: I DON’T KNOW EITHER HANA whichever one that person wants??? like i’m not very specific on these things

71. Sensitive or loud: sensitive I guess but like hana said, you could be both

72. Hook up or relationship: relationship lmao what would i get out of a hookup except for years of pining

73. Troublemaker or hesitant: hesitant, but also a teeny bit mischievous otherwise i’d get bored --------- keeping hana’s answer here

HAVE YOU EVER… 74. Kissed a stranger?: nope

75. Drank hard liquor?: nope

76. Lost glasses contact/lenses: i lost a lens once when i slept with them in accidently, but later found it on my pillow (i think) which was quite odd

77. Turned someone down: HA if we’re HONEST yes but like,,, i was twelve,,, he was weird,,, let’s forget it ever happened

78. Sex on first date: um no -- hana catching my feelings perfectly

79. Broken someone’s heart: well that would be a maybe but i hope not lmao

80. Had your heart broken: L M A O yes way too easily

81. Been arrested: nope

82. Cried when someone died: yes, though it usually takes other people crying for me to Get There

83. Fallen for a friend: yes? no? idk what came first but honestly i’d like to have it be a friend rather than a stranger lmao

DO YOU BELIEVE IN… 84. Yourself: in all honesty no, but i’m trying to

85. Miracles: yes, in a way

86. Love at first sight: sort of?? like not love exactly but a feeling that turns into actual love yeah that’s possible i guess

87. Santa Claus: nope, but i dont remember if i ever believed in him to begin with so i should ask me mum probably

88. Kiss on the first date: idk???

89. Angels: yeah i mean yeah with the religion thing and stuff i guess that’s a yes

OTHER… 90. Current best friend’s name: honestly idk like i have many best friends and i don’t really have a solid best friend anymore but that’s fine because i lov so many people anyway

91. Eye colour: also brown

92. Favourite movie: don’t??? but all righty some time ago i’d have said spongebob the movie so that, hidden figures, prisoner of azkaban, dead poets society, brave (also pride and prejudice & austenland probably)

i tag @bothhappy--andsad because she usually wants to do these kinds of tags and if they want to: @ryanperch @floralaesthetlc @klainederful cus u guys are super cool and i wanna know if you care to do it (and anyone else that wants to do it can say i tagged them cus i wanna READ)

#me #tags #ily han thanks for tagging me good way to spend my time #about me #idk how to tag this #bcb

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deadgwen · 7 years

Text

IT IS A HAPPY 17TH BIRTHDAY TO THE BEST GOAT

@fucshias @jiilys MY LOVE GOATY. MY MOST BEAUTIFUL GOAT. MY SUN. MY STARS. MY BEAUTIFUL HOOVED CREATURE OF GOD. I HAVE ARRIVED TO SAY SOME IMPORTANT THINGS BUT FIRSTLY I LOVE YOU I LOVE I LOVE YOU U R READING THIS POST RIGHT NOW DUE TO A VERY IMPORTANT REASON AND THIS IMPORTANT REASON IS THAT

*CHOKES BACK TEARS*

IT IS UR BIRTHDAY.

*SCREAMING*

OK OKI DOKI BEFORE I START: I AM NOT ACTUALLY HERE BUT DO NOT BE D I S E N H E AR T E N E D BC I JUST DONT HAVE WIFI BUT I PROMISE U SOMEWHERE OUT THERE I AM SULKING AND FIGHTING A WALL AND ALSO SETTING OFF FIREWORKS BC !!!!!!!!!!!!! ITS UR FUCKING DAY AND IM SORRY I COULD NOT WISH U BUT I LOVE U SO SO SO SO SO SO SO MUCH I AM HERE W/ U IN SPIRIT

ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT TURN THE FUCK UP HAPPY FUCKING BIRTHDAY TO MY LOVE HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO U UR EXCELLENT AND I LOVE YOU AND ALSO WHAT THE FUCK BINCH HOW ARE U SEVENTEEN TODAY U ASSHOLE (COPYRIGHT U KNOW WHO) WHO ALLOWED U TO BE LIKE THIS AND ALSO I LOVE YOU. AND ALSO I CANT BELIEVE UVE DONE THIS. UR LITERALLY SEVENTEEN TODAY I AM NOT ALRIGHT AND I NEED U TO HOLD ME BECAUSE I AM GOING TO COME OVER AND FOR THE SOLE PURPOSE OF BEING A DRAMATIC BITCH I WILL FAINT IN UR ARMS I AM 100% NOT ALRIGHT

like,,,, HONESTLY u are so. fucking. great. WHERE DO I EVEN START.

FIRST AND FOREMOST I WANNA SAY I AM SO FUCKING EXCITED FOR THIS FOR UR BDAY I LOVE YOU GOATY I AM SO PUMPED THAT UR SO OLD ITS RIDICULOUS @ ME FUCK OFF ALRIGHT BUT. JUST. I LOVE I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU AND HAPPY BIRTHDAY U GOAT UR BEYOND INCREDIBLE

UR OFFICIALLY A DANCING QUEEN UR YOUNG AND SWEET. ONLY. *SMASHES OPEN MY WINDOW AT 12 MIDNIGHT* SEVENTEEEEEEEEEEEEEN

SO OH MY GOD. I AM CURRENTLY YELLING BECAUSE??????????? LIKE???????????????? YOU'RE SEVENTEEN??????? HOW DID WE EVEN COME TO THIS POINT ITS INSANE LIKE HOW THE FUCK ARE YOU SEVENTEEN WE'RE ALL JUST STILL TINY SMOLS WHERE ARE U GOING WHY ARE U GROWING OLDER STOP IT PLS ALRITE I DO NOT LIKE. MY PRECIOUS GOAT SUNSHINE WHO IS A PROFESSIONAL PAJAMA CONSULTANT A REAL SOLID BUSINESSWOMAN WHO DRIVES AND SHIT AND COULD PROBABLY RUN ME OVER AND IS 6'3 SO IF U WOULD SIT ON ME I WOULD MOST CERTAINLY DIE UR OFFICIALLY A DANCING QUEEN AND I AM CRYING

but in all seriousness I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU i am FOREVER AND EVER glad that i met u LIKE I FUCKIN HATE U GODMDAN FUCKIBG GOAT MAKING ME REBLOG THIGNS FUCK YUO FUCK O FF but like????? apart from that UR FUCKING BEYOND FABULOUS and i have decided to compile a list of reasons why u are unbelievably great and have earned ur title of being a dancing queen/brilliant goat/actual love of my life. bc u are excellent. AND IT MUST BE WRITTEN OUT HERE SOMEWHERE THAT I LOVE YOU.

OK OK OK SO HERE WE GO BINCHES. PREPARE URSELF. THIS IS GONNA BE SUPER LENGTHY BECAUSE I LOVE YOU A LOT AND I AM GONNA DO A 'ON THE JELLICOE ROAD' WORTHY REVIEW OF U BUT LIKE A SHITTIER VERSION SO U BETTER FUNKIN BUCKLE UP BITCH

LEZGO:

IS OBVIOSULY FABULOUS

IS A REAL LIFE GIRAFFE

WE ARE BLESSED TO HAVE ONE ROAM OUT OF CAPTIVITY LIKE............. WE ARE STRONGLY BLESSED

I CANNOT STRESS ENOUGH

CLAIMS TO HAVE 'barely any leg but a huge torso' and interpret this how u want bUT i just wanna say u r the most fucked up giraffe ever ok what the fuck WHO HURT YOU

apparently dis binch owns a bunny AND NEVER TOLD ME SHE DID

owns a problematic rabbit bc it pees everywhere

said problematic rabbit likes to pee everywhere so much its ridiculous it has no respect for the value of items of modern society and thus in my opinion should be sent to COURT

@ rabbit U NASTY OK PLS GET UR PRIORITIES SORTED???? THIS HAS BEEN A MOTHERFUCKING PSA THANK U (CAROLINE I AM TRUSTING YOU TO SHOW THIS ON UR PHONE TO THE GODDAMN BUNNY I NEED IT TO KNOW)

is 100% excellent at looking after drunk people ALRITE literally THIS WOMAN IS A SAINT who has saved REAL LIVES tbh where would that poor child from your old intermediate be if u hadn't SAVED HIS ENTIRE LIFE from all that tequila he would DEAD thats fuKCIN RIGHT U DESERVE ALL THE MEDALS A TRUE HERO AMONG NEW ZEALANDERS. A NATIONAL ICON. SO BRAVE I AM SO PROUD I LOVE YOU ALWAYS

AND ALSO PULLING DRUNK MAKING OUT PEOPLE OFF EACH OTHER I JUST WANT U TO KNOW THAT UR EFFORTS ARE SO VERY RECOGNIZED BECAUSE ONE TIME I DID THAT AND I GOT PUNCHED IN THE THROAT I THOUGHT I DIED BECAUSE I SAW JESUS BUT IT WASNT ACTUALLY JESUS IT WAS JUST A POSTER TAPED TO A FRIDGE I WAS SCAMMED

her own mum has called the police on her and was 100% ready for some quality fun family jailtime

ALSO ONE TIME GOATY ACCIDENTALLY FUCKED UP SOMEONES REAR MIRROR AND THE VICTIMS OF THE INCIDENT DID NOT GIVE HALF A FUCK HOWEVER, HER MOTHER GOATY REPORTED SEVERAL FUCKS TO THE POLICE AND FILED AN ACCIDENT REPORT AND THAT WAS THE DAY MY GOATY BECAME A DARK CRIMINAL

*OMINOUS MUSIC*

I AM STILL WAITING FOR THE DAY I WALK MY BUTT INTO COURT AGAINST UR MUM COVERED HEAD TO ASS IN $3 PLASTIC BRACELETS BACKED BY UR UNEXPECTEDLY KLEPTOMANIAC SISTER AND A BASKET OF STOLEN WOMANS DAYS AND ALONG WITH BLING BLING JIMMY WE WILL RESTORE THE RIGHTEOUSNESS AND LACK OF CONSCIENCE ON THIS LOVELY EARTH

ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ENOUGHT ABOUT UR MUM LIKE ACTUALLY ALL UR FAMILY MEMBERS ARE DIFFERENT LEVELS OF WILD AND..... I AM AFRAID

OK OK IT MUST BE SAID CAROLINE HAS THE MOST AMAIZNG VOICE ????? EVER

like i love her voice sm SO FUCKING MUCH I TELL U i have never heard anything like it and i want caroline to like read me books for hours AND HOURS AND NARRATE MY WHOLE ENTIRE LIFE because i love how unusually deep and shadowy her voice sounds like deep flowing river water or smth like i LOVE IT SO MUCH it. Is.So. Strange BUT I LOVE IT IT IS THE COOLEST GODDAMN THING THROW A BUCKET AT ME I LOVE YOU

HAS A VIDEO OF HERSELF DOING THE ICE BUCKET CHALLENGE AND I KNOW I HAVE PRAISED IT FOR TWO YEARS IN A ROW ALREADY LIKE @ ME PLZ CHILL BUT i will not i will NEVER it is solid entertainment a+++ QUALITY I AM LAUGHIGN IM LAUGHING I AM LAUGHING FOREVER those beautiful hops of pain across ur backyard ARE THE LAST THINGS I WANT TO SEE BEFORE GOD TAKES ME FROM THIS EARTH

WRONGFULLY FRAMED ME FOR HAVING SHIT DICK TENDENCIES AND THEN YELLED AT ME AND CALLED ME A GARAGE WHAT A BINCH I AM IN LOVE

loves yellow flowers AND ALL THE FLOWERS AND HEAVY ROSES AND IS A FULL OUT FLOWER HOE

IS DESPICABLE TEEN WOLF GARBAGE LIKE.... ive been scrolling through our fanmails AND MY HEART HUR T S G O A T Y hOld mE we were sO Y O U N G and like no lie i shit u not 80% oF THE FUCKING MESSAGES ARE U YELLING 'STYDIA IS GONNA HAPPEN THIS SEASON' AND 'OH MY GOD DID U SEE THAT STYDIA SCENE' AND DECLARATIONS OF LOVE FOR LYDIA MARTIN AND THE OTHER 20% IS U ASKIN ME IF IVE SEEN THE NEW TEEN WOLF I LOVE IT I LOVE YOU I AM SORRY TEEN WOLF KEEPS DISAPPOINTING US BOTH BUT STDYIA IS. DEFINIETELY. GONNA. HAPPEN. THIS. SEASON. IT HAS TO OR I WILL FUKIN FITE ALRIGHT GIVE US STYDIA OR GIVE US DEATH I LOVE UR TEEN WOLF LOVIBG ASS

anyway caroline is an utterly excellent person

if u were an ncea paper i would grade u with excellence

*FINGER GUNS*

like ?????deals with my stupid yelling ALL THE TIME

whenever i had a problem and went to my goaty she was so very understanding and patient AND DID NOT CALL ME A DUMBASS WHEN I DESERVED TO BE DECKED

TOLD ME THE TRU DEFINTION OF THE PHRASE 'SHOT'

TWO YEARS OF UTTER CONFUSION. ERASED FROM MY LIFE. PERMANENTLY.

MY SKIN?? CLEARED . MY FUTURE BILLS ??? PAID MY HUSBAND MARRIED MY STATUE FOR CAROLINE FULLY ERECTED

ok but like i can never say this enough goaty IS SO NICE TO TALK TO PLETAHE TALK TO ME FORVER SHE IS FABULOUS??? it blows my mind constantly that someone this incredible and special walks along this earth NONE OF US DESERVE THE GOAT

also ???? WHAT IN THE FUCK HOW HAVE I NOT MENTIONED THIS YET CAROLINE IS THE BEST WRITER I HAVE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE SHE IS SO TALENTED EVERY TIME I READ ONE OF HER FICS I END UP THINKING ABOUT IT AFTERWARDS FOR 958495894 YEARS ALRIGHT THEY FUCK ME UP THEY WAY SHE HANDLES WORDS FUCKS ME UP HOW CAN YOUT TAKE FUCKING LETTERS AND THEN SHOVE THEM UP MY ASS LIKE THIS I AM NOT ALRIGHT I AM NOT ALRIGHT I AM NOT ALRIGHT I am Not Strong Enough For This

i am not even kidding ok THE WAY U HANDLE WORDS IS IN.FUCKING.CREDIBLE whenever u use them its like?? u turned them into something precious and all your writing have this feel to it like as if im holding a delicate bouqet of a thousand yellow flowers like im holding a butterfly in my hands like im holding a box of eggs and i am scared shitless to drop it bC MY DAD WILL PERSONALLY CRUCIFY ME

I AM AWFUL AT DESCRIPTIONS BUT I HOPE U SEE WHAT I MEAN. LIKE. IT IS SO *SCREAMS* MINBLOWING DECK ME WITH ALL UR WORDS EVER

I AM ONE HUNDRED FUCKING PERCENT NEVER OKAY WITH ANYTHING YOU WRITE IT HURTS SO GOOD AND I LOVE IT

ok ok this hoe right here has written THREE fics with a dedication for me at the beginning and like.............. ..... do u ever just cri

i have 'the glorious everywhere' printed out and FUCKING PINNED TO MY WALL WHERE I CAN SEE IT FROM ALL CORNERS OF MY ROOM ALWAYS back in my apartment in russia like it is legitimately the best thing. i love everything about this piece it should be adapted into a novel or a short film like PULL SOME FIFTY SHADES OF GREY SHIT W/ IT OK the imagery and REALNESS of this fic gets to me all the time and im crying im crying im crying I ABSOLUTELY ADORE IT PLS @ CAROLINE WHY ARE U SO TALENT

ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT LOOK AT THIS BULLSHIT FUCKIG I THINK ABOUT THIS FIC EVERY SINGLE DAY WHEN I WAKE UP FUCKING LOOK ' You see her hair dripping down her head and spinning out over the seats in the back and lighting them on fire. You see her pale skin and electric veins as she puts her hand out the window and tries to catch the sky and stuff it up her sleeve. You hear her voice, “Just drive James, you’ll know where we’re going when we get there.”

REALLY I AM NOT FUCKIGN Okay CALL AN AMBULANCE CALL IT NOW I AM UNWELL I AM SICK I AM DYING FUK ME RITE UP

i am fully convinced this is the greatest thing thats ever been written.like. How. the. FUCK. tbh i want this paragraph ENTIRELY TATTOOED ON MY ASS I AM ZCRYING @ CAROLINE YOU HAVE THE MOST BEAUTIFUL BRAIN AND I AM SO VERY GLAD THAT IT EXISTS

i will not go into depth abt yelling about ur fics bc tbh i think u Know but I JUST WANNA SAY 'oh darling i have coloured blood (that i stole from you)' is the most iconic piece of literature to this day ever the and i zcri all the time because you are a goddamn bloody genius and you shine in colours beyond my comprehension and i love you so so so incredibly much

MY LOVE IS SO FUCKING TALENTED I AM YELLING I AM YELLING I AM YELLING

DOESN'T EAT FRIED SPERM

writes the BEST emails in history

UR SO LOVELY U GIVE ME SO MANY BEAUTIFUL SPELLING ERRORS FOR ME TO WHOLEHEARTEDLY ENJOY I AM GIGGLING *GIGGLES* IT BRINGS ME SO MUCH JOY WHEN U FUCK THINGS UP

tbh it is how fried chair came to life like it was actually in one of your first fanmails to me u said that two years ago and to this day it remains the Most Iconic Thing Ever

STRONG SUPPORTER OF WEETBIX

LOVES WEETBIX

FOUGHT TIGERS AND LIONS FOR HER FAMILY AND WAS SAVED BY WEETBIX AND WEETBIX ALONE

ACTUALLY HAD A THING CALLED ‘WEETBIX DISCOURSE’ ON HER BLOG LIKE IT WAS ACTUALLY A THING THAT HAPPENED A REAL THING THAT OCCURED AND WAS PASSIONATELY ARGUED ABOUT AND I HAVE SEEN THINGS THAT CANNOT BE UNSEEN

RIGHTFULLY SO BC WEETBIX >>>>> JONAH GRIGGS I AM SORRY IT IS THE RULES

FUCK THE H8RS

like ??? is hilarious af QUEEN OF HUMOUR AND MAKING ME SNORT MY GODDAMN CHOCLATE MILK LIKE CAN U NOT BE SO EXCEPTIONAL U HO HAVE SOME CONSIDERATION U LIL BITCH but YES a++ top notch QUALITY storytelling skills in both fic writing and tequila struggles I APPRECIATE IT TO DEATH

ok ok ok also the most beautiful person ever??? LIKE ???????????????? BITCH WHAT THE FUCK ??????????????????????????????????????????????? WHO ALLOWED U

THE MOST PERFECT HAIR. ur hair is like waves of a golden ocean cascading from ur hEAD AND IT IS SO MAGICALLY FITTING B/C U R AN ETHEREAL BEING AND THE FACT THAT U HAVE AN ENTIRE WILD SEA RAGING ON UR HEAD JUST PROVES TO ME THAT U ARE A GOD AMONG MORTALS. UR HAIR IS SO PRETTY OK OK OKAY FUCK ME UP. STRAIGHT UP GORGEOUS. SO SOFT TOO AND SO SHINY AND IT FITS U SO WELL I AM FOREVER SCREAMING

THE MOST ANGEL FACE. GOATYS FACE LOOKS LIKE GOD OR WHOEVER THE FUCK WAS RESPONSIBLE CARVED IT OUT OF ROSE PETALS AND MARBLE LIKE. IT. IS. TRULY. THE MOST GORGEOUS THING ur face is softer than clouds tbh AND UR SMILE SAVES MY LIFE ITS BRIGHTER THAN THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE CONDENSED AND SOMETIMES WHEN I SEE UR SELFIES I HAVE TO GO GET LASER EYE SURGERY BECAUSE I HAVE BEEN B L I N D E D

U R SO UNCONSIDERATE TO MY FRAGILE HEALTH HOW DARE YOU

SO. GODDAMN GORGEOUS SLAY MY ENTIRE LIFE I BEG U ID PAY U TO SIT ON ME WITH UR HUGE BONES AND SLOWLY CRUSH ME INTO AN ENDLESS DEATH I HAVE $4 LEFT OVER FROM MY LIFE SAVINGS DO IT BAE

has the best taste in music omg WHAT A BLESSING WE LIKE THE SAME SONGS AND IT ACTUALLY KIND OF SCARES ME B/C IT FEELS LIKE WE ARE THE SAME PERSON AND THIS DOES NOT HELP MY CONSTANT STATE OF EXISTENTIAL CRISIS

HAS THE BEST TASTE IN BOOKS and adores skam as much as i do AND LOVES CHRIS/EVA AS MUCH AS IDO AND WROTE A FIC FOR THEM AND THE SNIPPET FROM IT ????? MY SOUL. GONE.

so tol and will never stop accusing me of being smol but listen up aight. imma FUCK YOU UP. REAL GOOD. ONE DAY. WHEN I CAN AFFORD TO BUY A LADDER. UNTIL THEN SLEEP WITH ONE EYE OPEN BINCH BC I AM COMING TO GET U

and is also the smartiest smart to ever smart LOOK AT MY U GO WITH UR EXCELLENCE ENDORSEMENT when i buy that ladder I WILL CLIMB IT AND HOVER AROUND UR HEAD LOTS SO I CAN ABSORB UR POWERS AND ALSO BREATHE THE FRESH AIR UP THERE WHICH IS NOT AVAILABLE TO GROUNDED PEASANTS SUCH AS ME

AND IS THE BEST COOKIE THE LOVE OF MY LIFE LIKE IF THIS ISNT ENOUGH TO CONVINCE ANYONE THAT CAROLINE IS BEYOND EXCEPTIONAL FOR OUR GALAXY THEN THEY CAN FUCK OFF PLS OK

like honestly,,, MY LOVE I COULD GO ON FOR YEARS AND YEARS AND CENTURIES UNTIL MY TEETH FALL OUT AND I GROW SENILE WITH MY LOVE BUT THE POINT OF THIS HOT STEAMING LAME MESS IS THAT I LOVE YOU TO BLOODY PIECES UR SO F U C K I N G INCREDIBLE I AM SO GLAD I MET YOU AND THAT YOU TAlk TO ME AND WE EMAIL EACH OTHER AND I AM BLESSED THAT YOU EVEN THINK OF ME AND THAT FREID CHAIR LOVES ME AND THAT U R MY GOAT BC UR MY ONLY GOAT AND UR THE BEST ONE THERE IS NO SHADE @ ALL OTHER GOATS BUT LIKE. IM SORRY I CANNOT TELL A LIE

IT IS THE COLD HARD TRUTH.

and like??? i did a /search/deadgwen ON @jiilys BC I WANTED TO LOOK AT ALL OUR OLD STUFFS FROM 2015 and I Regret it I Regret it So Much theres a selfie from like when i was 14 and an idiot still on Ur blog and I look like an actual tragedy I Want to Die we have known each other for so long its RIDICULOUS UR STILL AS AMAZING AS U WERE BACK THEN AND I AM MORE OR LESS CURED OF MY CONDITION OF BEING AN EMBARASSING DIPSHIT AND ITS CRAZY HOW MUCH YOUNGER WE WERE THEN LIKE UM WTF BUT UR STILL AS BEAUTIFUL AND 9384930X TIMES MORE AND I STILL LOVE U BC UR PERFECT AS EVER AND THAT IS WHAT MATTERS

NOW. I WAS GONNA MAKE YOU A PRESENT LIKE I REALLY DID BAE I TRIED SO MUCH SHIT ITS HORRIBLE BC LIKE ??? I WANTED TO MAKE YOU A PRESENTATION ON UR GOAT SUPERIORTY LIKE I DID LAST YEAR EXCEPT Like i am a fucking asshole™(COPYRIGHT JONAH GRIGGS THE MAN TEH MYTH THE LEGEND) who cannot do shit FOR SHIT it turned out so Awful and i cANNOT GRAPHIC BABE I TRIED TO MAKE YOU THIS EDIT AND THEN I REALIZED IT WAS Bad AND FOUGHT MYSELF FOR SIX HOURS AND I CANNOT WRITE AND YOU DESERVE ALL THE GIFTS EVER BUT I AM TRULY AWFUL

*ZCRIES*

I KNOW IM LAME AND MY ONLY TALENT IS YELLING FOR HOURS ON END I WISH I COULD HAVE MADE YOU SOMETHING REALLY COOL BC ITS UR SEVENTEETH AND 17 IS THE BEST NUMBER AND UR LOVELY AND I LOVE YOU SO PLEASE FORGIVE ME BAE FOR BEING AN ACTUAL GARAGE ASSHOLE (COPYRIGHT JONAH GRIGGS THE EXPERIENCE) SHIT DICK 100% TERRIBLE DICKFLUTE OKAY I LOVE YOU AND I CAN NEVER IMAGINE WHAT I WOULD BE WITHOUT YOU IN MY LIFE AND I HOPE YOU HAVE A REALLY REALLY REALLY GOOD YEAR LIKE FUCK SHIT UP BAE UR GONNA BE IN YEAR 13 ITS ALL GONNA BE SO AWFUL AND WE WILL ALL DIE aND WERE SO O L D JESUS CHRIST IF HEART ATTACKS DONT TAKE US OUT NCEA LEVEL 3 WILL BUT I HOPE THIS WILL BE A SUPER GOOD YEAR FOR U IN REGARDS OF EVERYTHING BECAUSE U DESERVE IT U DESERVE IT U DESERVE IT I HOPE THINGS WILL LEAD UP TO U GETTING THAT APARTMENT IN NEW YORK AND ALL THE HIGH HEELS THAT U WILL WEAR AND ALL THE YELLOW FLOWERS THAT U WILL BUY AND UR CAREER AS A LIFECHANGING LITERARY GENIUS OK OK I LOVE YOU HAPPY BIRTHDAY BABE

ok ok ok but.

ONE MORE THING.

LISTEN.

THE FUCKING

*CLECNHES JAW*

REBLOG FIASCO

*FLINGS MY ASS INTO THE SUN*

WHEN IT IS GOOD AND DAYLIGHT. U HAVE UNTIL THEN. LIKE I KNOW THIS IS UR BIRTHDAY WISH AND I LOVE YOU BUT FUCK OFF HWO COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME I FUCKING TRUSTED YOU I FUCKING FUCK JUST FUCK YOU FUCKING DICK i will RIOT

OKAY BABE ITS MIDNIGHT AND ILL BE UP IN ABOUT SIX HOURS AND LIKE. ANYTHING. ANYTHING ELSE FOR UR BIRTHDAY WISH OK BABE IM GONNA FUCKING DIE THIS IS IT THIS THE END I WILL GO DOWN SWEARING PROFUSELY WITH A HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE AND U WILL BE WATCHING AND LAUGHI G ANF @OFFICALTALL FUCK YU FUCKDUCKUD CUDCKUD DNUSJNDJF FUCK U @GOATY FUCK. UFCN WHERE IS UR HOOF WHY ARE U NOT FEELIN THE TEMPERATURE ITS EBOLA ITS GOATBOLA I WONT MAKE IT UNTIL DAWN I WONT SEE THE SUNLIGHT GOATY I CANT *FAKE CRYING SOUNDS* I WILL DIE. IT WILL HAPPEN. AND I WANT IT TO BE KNOWN THAT U ARE THE BITCH THAT KILLED ME. *MORE FAKE ZCRYING SOUNDS* I MUST SEND MESSAGES TO ALL MY DEAREST KIND FRIENDS WHO HAVE NEVER FUCKED ME LIKE THIS ALRIGHT *FAKE COUGHING* TELL THEM THAT I *MORE FAKE COUGHOGN* LOVE THEM *THROWS KETCHUP PACKET EVERYWHERE WHILE UR NOT LOOKING AND BUSY BEING WORRIED ABOUT MY HEALTH* AND I WILL REMEMBER THEM EVEN IN DEATH

ANYWAY HERE IS MY WILL:

WHAT U GET:

nothing

u get nothing

bINCH

zero. zip. nada

0 potato 4 u

U CAN HAVE THE SALT FROM MY KITCHEN SO U WILL BE PERPETUALLY REMINDED OF MY LAST EMOTIONS TOWARDS THIS LIFE

maybe like the one half a potato that was randomly in my drIVEWAY THAT ONE TIME

M A Y B E

WHAT GOOD KIND LOVING FRIENDS, SUCH AS MILS AND FRIED CHAIR AND ELLIE AND OTHER ASSORTED PEOPLES WHICH I SHALL ADDRESS IN CLAUSE 4.20 OF THE TERMS AND CONDITIONS OF MY WILL, GET:

actually mils is a hoe and can choke but u r the evil here rn aND FOR THE PURPOSES OF THIS ARGUMENT WE WILL PRETEND THAT I LIKE MILS

ANYWAY. REALLY GOOD THINGS I OWN

I HAVE SOME SOCKS I DONT WANT U GUYS CAN HAVE THEM

AND LIKE

MY DUVET

SEE GOATY THESE ARE THE KIND OF HEART TOUCHING POST DEATH GIFTS U MISS OUT ON WHEN U MURDER ME IN COLD BLOOD

ALSO NO TOUCHING MY MANGOES THAT I BOUGHT TWO DAYS AGO BECAUSE I STILL WANT TO EAT THEM AND IF ANYONE EVEN BREATHES IN THEIR GENERAL DIRECTION I WILL BEAT THEM UNCONSCIOUS WITH A TELEPHONE THIS IS A T H R E A T

I HOPE UR TAKING NOTES AND I HOPE U FEEL GOOD ABOUT BEING A 6′3 KILLER BECAUSE UR AN ASSHOLE ™LIKE UR ASSHOLIER™ THAN THE REAL ASSHOLE THAT IS JONAH GRIGGS™ THE LABEL™ (COPYRIGHT JONAH GRIGGS™ THE ANT MURDERING HOT PIECE OF ASS™) BUT I WILL DIE FOR U MY GOAT *strokes ur pretty face* BC IT IS UR BIRTHDAY WISH FOR ME TO SUFFER AND I LOVE YOU AND I WOULD DO ANYTHING FOR U THEREFORE . DESPITE THIS SICKNESS *FLAILS* I. WILL. BE. BRAVE. I WILL REBLOG THOSE TWENTY POSTS I WILL FLATLINE BY THE THIRD POST AND MY BLOOD WILL BE ON UR HANDS *CAREFULLY ARRANGES MY STUNT GOAT IN POSITION* AND I WILL BE YELLING CURSES AT YOU IN THE TAGS BUT I WILL DIE IN THE NAME OF HONOUR I WILL GO DOWN AS A GOAT NEVER HAS BEFORE

BUT LIKE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE YOU AND I I LOVE YOU AND I LOVE YOU AND I LOVE YOU AND I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU SO SO SO SO SO SO SO MUCH YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY FANTASTIC I AM SO HAPPY U EXIST. HAVE THE BOMBEST ASS 17TH BIRTHDAY BABE I HOPE UR PARTY IS LIT AND HAVE FUN GETTING DRUNK AND HAVING ALL THE BANTS AND LAFFS AND ALSO I WILL SEND U THE AWAITED EMAIL IN A FEW HOURS WHEN MY INTERENT IS BACK ON BECAUSE IT IS A CONTINUATION OF THIS BULLSHIT WITH SOME STRUCTURED DISCUSSION AKA WHAT THE FUCK DO U HAVE AGAINST SMIRNOFF ICE how is it not HARDCORE enough for u IT IS LITERALLY FLAVOURED VODKA DOES IT NOT KNOCK OUT UR 6′3 ASS OR WHAT EXCUSE ME

ANYWAY IN CONCLUSION.

HAPPY. SEVENTEENTH. BIRTHDAY. MY. CHUM.

*BLOWS U A KISS*

*PUTS ON TWO FÜR COATS TO REMAIN UNDETECTED*

*STEALS ALL UR WEETBIX AND RUNS AWAY TO ALASKA NEVER TO BE SEEN AGAIN*

*still replies ur emails tho cuz i love u bitch y u do dis to me*

#I LOVE YOU SORRY THIS IS SO LONG BUT MY POINT STANDS #ALSO SORRY FOR THE SHITTINESS AND IF SOMETHING LOOKS WEIRD BC I EDITED IT SO MANY TIMES IT IS PORBABLY MOST DEFINITELY FUCKED UP SOMEHWERE #@ MYSELF I DONT TRUST U #fucshias #jiilys #I LOVE U BAE HAPPY BIRTHDAY HAPPY HAPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY #*SINGS* HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU #my BIG GOAT UR 17 NOW I AM ZCRYING RN I SWEAR I LOVE YOU HAPPY BIRTHDAY

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cheswirls · 6 years

Text

okay time to talk abt star wars

BENICIO DEL TORO IS IN IT like what a surprise and a delight. i went w ten members of my family and half of us had no idea until the credits like UH, what the FUCK is this guy doing in it alright

but yea real quick i havent seen shit abt laura dern and how amazing she was like they keep these films so under wraps no one knew what her character even was but WOW did she do a good job. like playing off everything in your plans only to have the best and smartest intentions and when leia walks through those doors into the command room w poe and hes like oh sweet and she whips out her blaster was THW BEST like ‘boy youve caused a lot of trouble for my sweetheart smart gal holdo and its time for you to Stop™’ and then when she decides to LITERALLY DIE to help the escape pods get away and poes like ‘GREAT shes abandoning us’ leias like nO sHeS NoT!! like no. no.

i really liked the humor it was few and far between but it was good. chewie abt to eat the porg. poe pranking hux w the bad signal and him FALLING FOR IT OM G as a stall technique, luke’s twiceover ‘AMAZING everything you said was completely wrong’, the whole ‘the jus PARKED THE SHIp on the beach and i TOLD THEM it was public but they jus went to the casino’ like what assholes but then it was.. rose’s ship damn, poe’s ‘permission to get in a ship and blow shit up’ to leia, when it was funny it was great.

I REALLY LIKED ROSE and i liked the necklace connection w paige, the TRUE HERO of the opening battle w the bombs, such an emotional scene she killed it. but yea back to rose she was cute a good character i liked her. i fell in love w kellie through interviews tho so it wasnt hard.

I FEEL LIKE FINN WOKE UP TOO QUICK but i get it tho. like theyre evacuating hes gotta. wake up. get up. why the water?? in the siut tho? that shouldve been explained wtf.

also the whole force bond wasn’t super well-done. it was explained to where it was okay but i still feel like they should’ve had more scenes where they were filmed in the same location, like seeing each other through their own eyes where its only them not the surroundings, that kinda killed it. not very well done c- rian johnson no pls.

i still dont?? get why ppl do reylo. i still dont see it. i honestly think they jus want two jedi leads together, bc that hasnt happened yet. i dont think their relationship is abusive at any point tho?? i saw ppl on abt it the other day and?? did we watch the same movie or are you jus fucking salty and want a reaction or?? anyway. its a conflict. in the end i feel like he wanted her power, not jus her, beside him. you can see, someone mentioned earlier, that he kinda jumps the whole ‘lets rule the galaxy’ on impulse to maintain his stance of control.

all the shit on canto bight was important. showing how to some people everyone is the same. they deal to whoever they need to to get rich. that whole place was beautiful. for the longest time i thought the master codebreaker WAS the guy they found and the noble who had it had taken the lapel but NOPE

one of the best scenes was talking with maz in the middle of a fucking UNION BATTLE like jeez. extreme but funny, another humor that was on point.

CRAIT WAS THE BEST PLANET i loved /loved/ the cinematic appeal of red salt covered by white frost. it was great. it made for some really cool effect scenes, like the old fighters skating across and kicking up red salt clouds amidst all the white. the part where ben slices into luke and then ext shit is the cleared away snow and then his foot clearing away to reveal red like is that lukes blood??? maybe?? what a good move thats one point for mr rian johnson there that caught me off guard nice

and more!! like firing at luke and again kicking up the red salt, it was all good. got some really great effects. the best setting by far.

i dont understand finn’s sacrifice-ram-into-the-cannon thing that was stupid and a bad mvoe and made no sense and wtf??

yea but when you get down to it lets talk abt luke bc. the quote abt mark hating evry choice of luke char’s yea im glad rian is gone and wtf was up w killing him off for no reason in the end???? he jus goes. for no reason. its like we gotta pick off the old trio one by one. he’d probably announce leia’s death in the opening written sequence if he was in charge of nine. like there was no!!! point! damn. no point. and now carrie’s gone and they cant cgi an entire movie w leia so??? fuck. theyre all three gone now which sucks bc it jus sucks. im still sad carrie’s gone.

one of the better parts was ben choosing not to fire on the cockpit bc his mOM is there cant do that shit that was good.

back to luke real quick what a total character bomb. assassination. wt FUCK would he choose to kill ben bc ‘the dark side was already in him’ bitch he saved darth vader!!!!! and shit wanna tell me a little dark hold scared him enough for death wtf is wrong w rian johnson shit.

the whole plotline w holdo was amazing like she was portrayed as kinda a self-centered betrayer like not in the ‘im on the wrong side’ but in the ‘i only care about my survival’ shit which was why it was nice to have the canto bight comparison. but then her plans were revealed and you see she had the true intentions from the beginning but why the FUCK SHE COUNDLT TELl poe i dont know that was another Bad Move™ for fuckin rian johnson.

we talk about dead heroes at the beginnign of the movie. starting with paige tico, holdo was definitely the next big one and WHAT A SACRIFICE she made. damn.

hi im che and i really liked how luke came back and leia n him hugged it out and then he told him he couldnt save ben but then he lets him go to Mull™. funniest scene was when theyre firing EVERYTHING WEVE GOT at luke and MORRE,MORE even and then he jus. brushes his shoulder which contains nothing bc hes not even there in the most dramatic move of the past three films produced in the sw universe.

and then ben cuts thru him a couple times and we see hes not even there which. shit. okay. caught us off guard there with that bc he hugged leia so he was clearly solid?? but then he wasnt? or was he and it jus zones out bc something tried to cut thru him, either way you didnt know until it happened bc astral projection in star wars aint exacly a thing. like you gotta be dead to show up places where you arent.

im confused on ben as a character and where he is going. he really isn’t on a side really? he’s with the first order currently but i seriously doubt he’ll be supreme leader in the next. snoke kinda died too easily too like i expected him to be wounded not sliced in half in the saber move was all saw coming™. different. strange. not sure what to expect really. what are his intentions now? did he rally have any in the first place?? luke is kinda gone again for no reason so he doesnt rly have anyone to go to. sorta.

adam driver is rly jus an amazing actor in this top tier a+++.

i rly like phasma in this. christie did a wonderful job, and we SW HER EYE SHIT i was waiting for her to talk off the helmet and it never. happened. but what a dramatic scene and was an ending to her like wow.

(once again thats thanks to ma girl holdo pls appreciate thx)

this movie was long i saw it once its been over 12 hours bc i had to go to a ballet show right after and then eat and shit so its been a Bit so i forgot some stuff here. ill get back to it eventually. if youve seen it feel free to ask me what i thought of what ill scream back w an in depth fun reply okay bye.

#tlj #sw #tlj spoilers

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