#i would give anything to be neurotypical. literally anything

[bumblingbabooshka]

YOUNG TUVOK: I was sent against my will. VULCAN MASTER: Then I suggest you leave. YOUNG TUVOK: I'm not a prisoner? VULCAN MASTER: Only of your emotions, or so I have been told. YOUNG TUVOK: My emotions free me.

[decolonize-the-left]

Hey this might be a weird question but you seem to know a lot about the strategies TERFs use and what they're hiding, so I just wanted to ask and you don't have to answer.

Why do so many TERFs have this weird hostility towards bi and ace people? I don't think either of those identities have anything to do with being trans but I've seen so many TERFs who are also biphobic and/or aphobic. My gut instinct was that there was some large overlap between bi/ace people and trans people, but then I've found TERFs give shit to cis bis and aces so I'm not sure if it's that or some other reason. I'm not trans myself but I want to be able to recognize TERF rhetoric to be a better ally to trans people.

A couple reasons.

First one is that hating bis/aces is at the entrance of the TERF pipeline; they utilize this 'soft bigotry' to radicalize LGBTs and it usually looks like this:

To recruit queer ppl first they try to get us to stop considering aces as Oppressed. That's how it starts. They're aren't Doing anything so how can they be oppressed? They don't know what it's like to marginalized....how could they? They're just stealing the spotlight of Actually oppressed ppl

And once you accept that they turn to bisexuals. Who are only half gay, you know? And most of them date men anyway or end up marrying men so like? How the hell would they know what it's like to literally Live oppression 24/7? Do we we really want them to have a voice and speak for those of us that don't have an escape from our oppression?

This works because on the surface TERFS/Radfems appear to care about women and gender equality, which a lot of queer people obviously support. But they exploit those of us that don't know enough about feminism's intersectional (and very gay) history to identify them as bad actors.

From here the person they've targeted will either a- accept this and likewise will eventually also accept that trans oppression isnt real either (fulfilling the TERF's actual goal of recruitment) OR b- they'll realize they've been manipulated and try to deconstruct.

Secondly:

TERFs are white supremacist and their beliefs are founded white supremacist ideology and outdated scientific theories that Support white supremacist rhetoric.

It's called gender-essentialism which is a branch of bio-essentialism which is the belief that the biological body you have has inherent skills and abilities. Racists have used this to deny Black humanity just as TERFs use it to deny the existence of gender diversity.

But nobody is inherently weaker because of a uterus, nor are they bad drivers just because they have a uterus. All women are not good mothers just because they are women. Men are not all abusers just because they are men.

TERFs would have you swallow these beliefs; they're vital to maintaining the Core TERF Value that that trans people aren't Real and people with uteri are always helpless victims to be defended against evil men.

And as white supremacists their goal is to disrupt and destroy minority communities so that we are too divided to unify against legal attacks. TERFs do this from the inside out by putting bis/aces in a different category from the other queers while disguising their bigotry as feminist. They get us to voluntarily undermine and destroy our own movement this way by causing intercommunity "bi/ace discourse" that makes bis/aces out to be an enemy of "real" oppressed people (like transphobic lesbians for example)

Thirdly:

Lots of queer people are feminists which makes us easy targets and that's why they focus on the queer community. Additionally, the queer community has a history of being a threat to the white supremacist establishment so dividing us is vital to their goal of eventually wiping out anyone who isnt cis, straight, white, neurotypical, and able bodied

[xavier-is-online]

Courtney Autism Headcanons I have because all of my favs are neurodivergent

Fun fact- my very first headcanon of Total Drama was that Courtney is autistic. Is this me projecting? YEAH AND WHAT ABOUT IT????

She got diagnosed at a rather early age (3 years old) with Autism, though her family always stressed to her that she should never tell anyone for fear of it messing with their reputation

Her special interest is court cases, funny enough. She loves looking up court documents and watching trials and she enjoys talking about how if she was a judge/ lawyer, how she would proceed/defend the case. Her parents noticed this and began pushing her into pursuing a career as a lawyer

She also has special interests in geography, birds of prey, MMA fighting and musical theater (though that last special interest often gets repressed since she's been taught that things such as theater are frivolous)

REALLY good at masking, so much so that she unintentionally will mask. Years of suppression has really helped in making people believe she's fully neurotypical! She was masking in the 1st season, up until she gets (unfairly) voted off

No, she doesn't have a fear of green jelly, but it is a MAJOR sensory issue for her. In fact, most gelatin and gelatin-like foods trigger her. She can't eat anything with a gummy texture

She unfortunately has a very hard time regulating her emotions since her parents couldn't be bothered to assist her anymore beyond getting a proper diagnosis. She can have very big reactions to very little inconveniences (especially if she knows she has no control over the situation)

VERY routine-oriented, so if that routine veers even slightly off track, she gets upset. She plans her week out in advance since schedules give her a sense of security

When she's not wearing shoes she walks around on her tiptoes

She also has a stim of balling her hands into fists and moving her arms up and down

She doesn't tell anybody about her diagnosis when she first arrives on the island, since it's been imbedded into her head that people will see her as less than if she tells anyone (and it's 2007, people- especially teenagers- are absolutely ableist)

Harold figures it out pretty quickly though and just outright asks her in private while they both are on Playa Des Losers since he wanted to know. She denies it at first but literally no one has just ever plainly asked her that and so she kinda breaks down and admits that yes, she is autistic, and Harold just stands there confused because why is she acting like she just got caught doing something horribly wrong

Turns out, in Courtney's eyes, something IS wrong with her. Harold straight up tells her that there's nothing she can do to make her autism "better" but it's not like being autistic is a death sentence. It's part of what makes her, her

That sorta blows her mind because all Courtney's life she's been made to feel like something is wrong with her. She never thought to just…. accept her neurodivergence. Huh

From then on she learns to just accept herself for who she is. It's a lot better than living your life ashamed of something you can't change

Duncan doesn't figure it out until like 5 years later LMAO

She doesn't keep many fidget toys, BUT, she really likes typing on keyboards. She keeps a couple out-of-use keyboards around and that's partly why she also loves her PDA

[alostlittleriverlotus]

"is it their fault their brain developed that way? No. But they still have the disorder."

"if you killed every narcissist, you would save more people than you would kill"

"narcissism is deadly"

"narcissists are evil"

"do you even know anyone with narcissism?! I do and they're awful people!"

"narcissism can't be cured"

"caring for a human as toxic as that when they literally deserve nothing but a life worse than hell"

These are just a few things I saw about NPD from someone very angry. And I could write more, but my phone is dying and lagging. Cause it was a whole ass multiple paragraphs from people angry about us simply existing.

But sure, ableism against narcissists doesn't exist. Yes I know someone with it, my mom. Yes I know someone with it, me. Yes before I fully understood it in a non-stigmatized way and thought my friend might have it, I was normal about it and knew she was a good egg.

So yes. There is ableism and hatred for us preventing us from being treated. This is who you side with if you think narcissistic abuse is valid even if you can separate the person from the disorder, even if you can separate the word from the disorder, even if you just mean the "toxic" narcissist. This ableism kills and has led people with NPD to suicide. Even my unstable ass is tempted to search up ableism just to give me a reason to go through with killing myself.

So yeah. Fuck anyone that won't listen to us even when educated. You are absolutely ableist and even if you aren't like this person or agree with it, you are on the same side as them. This is what fucking ableism looks like. This is the shit we get fucking told and talked about as if we aren't human. It may be personality disorders, particularly NPD and ASPD now, but it has been BPD and still is in many way. This is the same ableism that will affect other disorders. It may be mostly targeted at narcissists and antisocial now, but it still happens to every disorder because it is not destigmatized and if u throw the personality disorders, the psychotic disorders, the scary "abusive" disorders under the bus, you are only aiding that stigmatization. This shit gets said about us constantly as we are treated like demons, not human, monsters, heartless cruel abusers. When we have been abused too. When we are still more likely to be abused. When no disorder is more likely to be abusive than any other disorder or any neurotypical person.

You just hate the mentally ill. All of us should be included in mental health matters.

Anti-narcissists will assume every narcissist is evil and abusive in a very black and white thinking way without even knowing us. If we are narcissists, they'll use it to discredit anything we say. This is what you side with if you believe in narcissistic abuse. Even if you don't agree with it or believe in it, you are allowing it to continue instead of fighting for us on our side or even just continuing to use those terms.

[shrimpathizer]

this is just a theory (i haven't looked into this bit that much) but I feel like the reason that misinformation is so wildly rampant in online communities about ADHD (probably also autism) is in part because of how inaccessible actual professional information about it is.

Like, I remember before I got my diagnosis (what started off this whole thing a while back), I was looking at the CDC website description of symptoms of ADHD with my mom and. If you thought you were neurodivergent and were looking at this thing trying to see if you should get tested, its basically saying "screw you. you're either a child who is going to be here because of their parents, or an adult who is also here because of another neurotypical."

one of the criteria was literally "is often 'on the go' acting as if 'driven by a motor.'" that means absolutely nothing. you are using undefined expressions to explain something to someone who historically is not good at understanding unexplained social norms (such as expressions).

plus, its incredibly subjective. "on the go" could mean something wildly different for one person then the next. and "often" could mean "all the time every day" or "only at school" or even "every other week." not to mention the memory issues that at least a lot of the people who I know with ADHD struggle with.

someone who might have ADHD has no way of knowing if they "often have trouble organizing tasks and activities" or if that is a normal amount. there is no way for them to easily know if they "often do not seem to listen when spoken to directly."

so it seems obvious to me, that they would turn to other people with ADHD. and the easiest place to find them these days is online. thats how I started wondering if I should get diagnosed. they're probably trying to find some other way to understand or know. and since its social media and social media is rampant with misinformation, of course they are going to be fed misinformation.

people are going to tell them "you see this weird thing that you do? I do that too. and its actually because of this much larger thing. trust me." and people will. because there really isn't much of another place for them to turn. they are going to self-diagnose with every disorder under the sun to make themselves feel at home and feel like they aren't weird or wrong.

maybe i'm way off here but I think that if you want people (teens in particular) to stop turning to social media for comfort and information, you should give them other resources that are accessible. that they don't have to pay to see, that they can understand clearly, that acknowledges all the weird things that they feel bad about.

and sort of as a side note: i remember in elementary school, early on (this might have just been my school/city/state), the school set up one of those mobile classrooms on the yard and would pull kids out for like a good couple months to do eye exams. because we've normalized that kids also have eye problems and thats normal. and maybe, could we also get a small little assessment. just to see if we can find neurodivergent kids early on and get them help so that they don't suffer for years and years.

and i'm not talking as someone who has had it hard. i have had it so easy compared to so many others. i have supportive parents and get good grades, and yet, i am constantly burnt out. i constantly feel horrible. not just because of depression. maybe i'm being too radical here but i feel like i shouldn't need a 504 plan to say that if i'm having a panic attack i can leave the room. that if i'm having trouble focusing i can go to the library or somewhere else. that i can get extensions on due dates. that i can see a copy of the notes or lesson for reference. i don't know maybe i'm just incredibly radical that i think people shouldn't have to be expected to work four times as hard to get anything done and then get blamed when they don't live up to the expectation. whether or not they are neurodivergent.

[petrichor-idyllic]

Hello! I am back 😇 could i get another autistic female reader x Gally (possibly a Part Two) where she gifts him a rock she found in the Gardens and he is slightly confused by it but really treasures it. Thank you! 🤍🤍

Part 2 let's goooo

A BIT DIFFERENT PT.2

MASTERLIST | GALLY MASTERLIST

PART 1 | PART 2

SUMMARY: See above. Continuation of part 1. Takes places before the arrival of Thomas.

WARNINGS: Inappropriate language, Gally's awkward ass, my potentially inaccurate portrayal of autism (again, but yall seemed to like the first one).

It's been about a week since you and Gally started seeing each other.

I'm using the phrase "seeing each other" loosely.

You see, you and Gally are in a weird place. Well, at least he feels like you are. You've not exactly established anything - you know you like each other and you've kissed, but that is literally it.

You still hang out and go about your lives in the Glade, but nothing has changed.

You're kind of fine with that. You've assumed something has been established since you both said you liked each other as more than friends. So, obviously, that means you're more than friends - AKA in a relationship. Right?

Yeah.

That's what you think.

But Gally's neurotypical brain doesn't work that way. He thinks you're in a weird situationship and doesn't know what to do now you've gone back to acting like friends.

You are none the wiser.

"Dude, she likes you - what's the big deal?" Frypan says as Gally loiters around the kitchen; a growing irritation in the cook's opinion.

"Yeah, but we're just... the same. Like, nothing's changed." He leans back against the counter as Frypan prepares the evening's meal behind it.

"I thought you kissed?"

"Yeah - once, and now it's just back to the same old klunk. This is a head-shuck; what am I meant to do?"

Frypan snorts. "I seriously doubt she's doing this on purpose." Gally looks over his shoulder at the boy. "You're probably overthinking it. Now, please shuck off and do your job so I can do mine in peace."

Gally glares as Frypan flashes him a cheeky grin. Rolling his eyes, Gally leaves the cook be.

He thinks about going to visit you for a second, but Alby will have his head if he keeps skipping work like this. He's still a Keeper, even if he is having relationship problems.

So, he returns to work.

You, however, are having the time of your life in the Gardens. You still love your job, and Zart still appreciates having you around (even if you do continue to show him up).

Today is a particularly positive day for you, because you have found a cool rock.

It's dark grey with swirls of whites and browns in it, and it's smooth and heavy in your palm.

It is a very cool rock.

You put the stone in your pocket and decide it would make a great gift. You continue with your day and spend your time awkwardly excited to give the rock to Gally.

After all, Gally means an awful lot to you, and this rock is from the Gardens that you also care about - so obviously, you have to give it to Gally.

So, after you've finished work, you go off in search of the Keeper. Though, that's easier said than done when Gally is having some kind of meltdown.

After some directions from Frypan, you find him leaning against a tree in the Deadheads.

"Gally!" You exclaim, grinning as he sits with his knees bent in front of him, resting his arms on his knees. He looks up at you as you bounce over, his gaze softening and his typical playful smile creeping across his face.

It's an expression you're so used to that you don't even realise that it's out of the ordinary. If Gally were to look at anyone else like that, they'd think he'd lost his mind.

"Hey, (Y/N)." He watches you as you sit down next to him, crossing your legs.

"What are you doing here?" You ask. It's unusual for Gally to be alone in the forest area. Actually, it's kind of rare for Gally to be alone at all. He's always with his little gang - or you.

"Just... thinking, yanno?" He playfully nudges you. "You okay? How was work?" He swiftly changes the conversation.

"Good, as always."

"Good, you learn about any new plants today?"

You shake your head. "Nope, not today. 'Think I've exhausted all the plants in the Glade, now." You grin at him, and he chuckles, shaking his head. "But," you reach into your pocket, "I did find this."

You show him the rock, holding it out in front of you. He glances at it before his eyes flicker back up to your face and then back to the rock.

"A... rock?" He blinks.

"Yeah, I found it in the Gardens. It's a cool rock," he can't fight the smirk that creeps across your face.

"Yeah," he picks it up out of your flat palm and examines it, holding it between his thumb and forefinger. "It's a very cool rock."

He goes to give it back to you, but you wave his hand away. "No, it's for you."

"What?"

"It's a gift... for you."

He grins; it's a genuine heart-felt smile and it sends butterflies through your stomach. "For me?"

"Mhm, thought you might like it."

"Hm, well, you've got me there - it is a very cool rock... But why are you giving it to me?"

You pause, blinking. He's a Builder? You thought he liked rocks?

"Because it's pretty, and I wanted to give my boyfriend a gift - that's not that weird, is it?"

Gally's face falls completely blank. He blinks at you and you can practically see the cogs spinning behind his eyes. "Have I said something wrong?" You're becoming genuinely concerned.

You're not the best at social cues and this is the first time you've misjudged something. So, you're picking up a vibe that you've put your foot in it.

"Gally? You good?"

"Sorry, uhm, I'm your, you said- uh, boyfriend?"

You now blink at him. "Uh, yeah? I thought we likes each other - isn't that what being in a relationship is? Are you not my boyfriend? Shit, have I shucked up?"

"What- no, you've... we just didn't talk about it, so I didn't realise we were... yanno."

You push your lips into a thin line before dropping your head, feeling your face start to go red. "Oh. Sorry - I didn't think- shit."

"No, hey, it's all good - I would love to be your boyfriend. Just wish you woulda told me about it, though."

You snort out of embarrassment, bringing your hands up to your face to hide. "Sorry - well, this is shuckin' embarrassing."

"Nah," he nudges you with his elbow. "It's cute."

You look at him, letting your hands fall from your face, smirking slightly. "Ya know, if anyone else knew how much of a big softie you were, they'd never let it go."

He shoves you, it's hard but still playful. You shove him back, which results in a wrestling match.

You squeal as he pushes you back onto the leaves covering the ground. He chuckles as you try to push him off, even trying to tickle him in the ribs. This is easily cut short when he grabs your wrists with one hand, pinning them above your head with ease.

His smiles fades fairly quickly, as his eyes flicker to your lips.

"You know you can kiss me, right?" Your forwardness catches him off-gaurd once again as you take a joking tone. "After all, you're my boyfriend, right?"

He shakes his head, smiling before he leans in. His nose bumps against yours as you squirm under his grips to try and kiss him. He lets out a low chuckle before finally connecting your lips.

It starts off sweet and quickly becomes passionate, with his grip loosening and allowing you to move them around the back of his neck.

He breaks the kiss, looking into your eyes. "God, I shuckin' love you."

Your eyes widen, and he seems shocked himself. He sits back slightly.

"You love me?" You sit up on your elbows and he avoids eye contact with you.

"Yeah... I think I do," he sighs.

You smile, leaning forward and pecking him on the lips. "I think I love you, too."

He grins, and kisses you again, once again pushing you back down into a small make-out session.

"I should give you rocks more often," you giggle when he breaks the kiss.

"You should; it's a very cool rock - I'll treasure it." He pauses, grinning and pecking your lips. "It's obviously very lucky."

Yep, sorry for the embarrassingly long amount of time it took me to write this - my brain has turned to jelly.

Anyway, hope you at least kinda enjoyed this :))

[pansy-picnics]

SHE IS SO NERODIVERGENT OMG. i pretty much described the first few episodes to my friend as “rapunzel is autistic and no one else knows how to handle an autistic person” pffft. she’s just so. gosh. she’s so full of love :( she went through so much for her Entire life up until now but she’s still so full of love and passion and sometimes that’s what end up being her downfall, because no one else is taking the time to understand her and they misinterpret how she acts on her care for them. but she just wants to help people :((

SHES SOOO AUTISTIC AND THATS LIKE. HONESTLY I FEEL LIKE THATS ONE OF THE BEST PARTS OF HOW THE SHOW ENDED UP PORTRAYING HER bc it definitely has a lot of flaws but like. she has a lot of traits that neurotypical people would typically consider “childish” or “immature” but the show doesn’t infantilize her for it and as an autistic person thats something that makes me really warm and fuzzy inside…..i think she should be Weirder and i think everyone should love her for it!!!!! AND I THINK THEY DO!!!! i will never let go of the idea that cass and varian despite everything they went through will be in her life forever. they care way too deeply abt each other to just let go because of a misunderstanding on rapunzel’s part!!!!! also cass has a massive gay crush on her so she couldn’t remove her from her life even if she tried /j

nothing about rapunzel is neurotypical and i stand by that tbh. its not even just the missing social cues things its the way she’s so in touch with the world,,, like the way shes always barefoot bc shoes feel weird and restricting? like THAT’S AUTISM? literally i have an autistic friend who’s sensory seeking and she said the exact same thing SHE’S JUST AUTISTIC BRO

sorry i can actually go SO in depth on how exactly i think rapunzel’s autism presents. like she’s the kind of autistic who’s really soothed by deep pressure and thats what she always gives everyone big tight bear hugs bc gothel never let her do that but she’s just trying to share that comfort it always gives her. (varian is like this too so they always squeeze each other SOOO tight when they hug and it looks really uncomfortable from an outside perspective but they’re both THRILLED.) she’s the kind of person who has tons of vocal stims and is always bouncing around in some way. she bites people but like Lovingly. she loves weird smells like rubbing alcohol and people have to take it away from her bc they don’t want her to inhale the fumes for too long. when she was a kid she climbed all over EVERYTHING she climbed on the tower roof a lot too if it weren’t for gothel’s gaslighting she would’ve figured out a way to escape by the time she was like 6 years old. she’s hyper emphatic in the way that she grows super attached to inanimate objects. she enjoys trying the most batshit food combinations just to see what they taste like and she usually ends up enjoying them. she’s banned from the kitchen bc once she put ketchup on a hard boiled egg. she’s the kinda person who only uses swears for Special Occasions.

i actually have this one cassunzel fic bookmarked that’s mostly focused on autistic rapunzel and i hold it SOOOO close to my heart i think about it literally all the time ITS CANON TO ME OK. SHE HAS A COMFORT BLANKET AND ITS THE ONE SHE WAS WRAPPED IN WHEN GOTHEL TOOK HER FROM THE CASTLE…..IT HAS THE SUN CREST ON IT AND THATS HOW SHE STARTED PAINTING IT. IT MAKES ME SCREAM AND CRY AND THROW UP BC I HAD A COMFORT BLANKET WHEN I WAS A KID AND I COULDN’T SLEEP WITHOUT IT. AUGHHH.

rapunzel is the sweetest person in thw world i wholeheartedly believe everyone loves her. LIKE SHE BASICALLY REDEEMED *counting on my fingers* LIKE AT LEAST 6 CRIMINALS??? PROBABLY MORE??? and at the same time shes so Weird. like i think shes weird in a very specific way that doesn’t even have anything to do with the autism shes just kind of a freak bc like she grew up in a tower for 18 years ofc she is. like i think shes so infatuated with the world as a whole she loves Everything shed treat the worlds most venomous creature like a little puppy. whenever eugene is screaming about bugs in the castle shes like “awwwww little guy :(“ and goes and picks him up and brings him outside. shes like holding a tarantula the size of her hand like “eugene how could you be scared of this little face :(“ and eugene’s like “Blondie we need to burn this whole castle down”

its basically canon too like remember that one scene in beginnings where she brought that whole fucking wolf out from the woods and he just didn’t even bother her like they were chill. all animals are chill with rapunzel like that.

but also she probably ate bugs once like one day she got really bored in the tower and she saw pascal eating a bug and shes like “Oh huh i bet it must taste good” and so she just tried eating a couple of bugs because she could. and yknow what she probably liked it too but the only reason she doesn’t anymore is bc she feels bad for the bugs.

i also think she was weird in a sense that like…when she was in the tower something about her always just seemed a little Off yk? something about the way she stared or her body language…it was because of the abuse ofc. but like she generally had this very porcelain doll look to her. like she was so slim and frail (malnourished) and she was strangely pale and the few freckles over her nose just seemed Too perfect. everything about her just looked untouchable, unreal, almost uncanny…..something abt it just made you uneasy but you could never put your finger on Why. and i think it’s especially clear when people look at her like ten or so years down the line…she’s much healthier, shes got some more weight on her, she looks much more comfortable in her body. she always has the biggest grin on her face. she’s got a light tan and shes absolutely COVERED in freckles from head to toe. scars and birthmarks and stretch marks on her skin tell this story of the life she’s lived and what she’s seen. she’s covered in tattoos, all designed herself (because you cant convince me she wouldn’t go CRAZY as soon as she finds out about tattoos ok.) shes always bouncing around everywhere, theres happiness literally RADIATING from her and shes so bright it’s blinding….

GOD she makes me so emotional. she is just so full of love and joy……….she draws pascal with freckles so they match……her favorite color is all of them….she’d sacrifice her life for all of her friends any day. she totally gets all huffy when her loved ones try to care for her when shes sick because she doesn’t want them to get sick too. yk the way everyone talks abt princess diana like thats how everyone in the tangled universe talks abt rapunzel i feel. i’m just. FUCK. PEACE AND LOVE ON PLANET EARTH.

[max-nico]

Sonic World Building Headcanons

For the soul

Any fic of mine that you read uses all or almost all of these Headcanons btw

Covering your hands and feet is the equivalent of covering yourself for decency. It's taboo to talk about what someone's hands look like if you've seen them before

Fingerless gloves give the same vibe as micro skirts and sheer tops with nothing underneath

All (or at least most) Mobians/anthropomorphic animals start off showing a lot more animalistic traits. For example, young children might sniff each other in greeting or get territorial over their bedroom or house

Children who go to school get taught to use their "grown up instincts" and essentially get trained to be "normal"

There are Mobians who are outliers of course, Knuckles for example grew up secluded on a floating island. Over the years he's learned how to fit in better with the general populace but he still comes off as very naive, or not mentally developed (I probably should just say what autistic look like to neurotypicals huh)

Shadow would be an even more extreme example since he's literally an alien

Because of this, kids aren't allowed to move up a grade if they're smart enough to test out, like Tails. If they did that, they would miss crucial developmental skills specifically targeted toward their instincts

Different types of Mobians need different types of diets. For example, spider Mobians can't have mint period. Whether artificial or real. Unless they had been fed little bits of mint at a young age to build up the immunity by the time they reach adulthood

In the comforts of their own home most Mobians fall back on their animalistic traits. Like cat types purring in the sunlight or bird types preening their feathers

It's rude to refer to people as their species. Not like, super offensive, just rude. (Ex. Shadow refers to Sonic as "hedgehog")

Most Mobians aren't one type of animal, most are mixed between two or more. For example, someone mixed with a jackal and a raccoon. Which one they get referred to depends first on appearance, so sometimes children don't get classified until three or four. If they truly look like a 50/50 split between the two species then they get DNA testing done and are referred to as whichever one is higher

The village Tails comes from is a small village completely comprised of Mobians from the canidae family, small villages being completely one animal family is regular, but cities being this way is unheard-of

Sonic is a famous hero and does have a heavily filled bank account. Not because he asked of course, but because of public outrage when he off handedly mentioned he doesn't get paid for saving the world

Off topic, but Tails manages the bank account because he uses the most of the money. Inventions aren't cheap. Any bills they have are on auto pay so they don't worry about them.

Most Mobians are left handed

Okay, I don't really like humans in the Sonic world. If I had my way the Robotniks would be robins, Maria would be a mixture of hedgehog and bird in a way that's off putting to Mobians but we would think looks cool, that being said she'd be classified as a hedgehog

Anyway, this is not the case and humans do exist. In my head there're three different planets, one with humans, one with Mobians, and one with humans + Mobians

That being said, I think space travel isn't a super regular thing for Mobians to do but it's not unheard of. It's probably just super expensive if anything

Aliens are still fucking crazy to them tho

Some companies/governments (like GUN) span across two or more planets

There's generally a lot of animosity between Mobians and humans but in like a modern day racism (specism??) way and it is not the Mobians fault

Money also works differently Mobians (don't ask me how it works tho I got no fucking clue man), and a lot of the time Mobians just exchange favors for favors

Character Headcanons pertaining to world building

Reiterating: Sonic is famous and gets money transferred to his(read Tails') bank account. Tails village is full of dingos, foxes, jackals, wolves, coyotes, even some dogs.

Most of Sonic's friends are pretty loaded tbh. Obviously team rose, team dark, and team Sonic make the most money, but you know.. details

Very few things tip people off to Shadow being an alien. Like yeah he has canines but he might just be mixed species? He's right handed but some people just are so that's normal. Yeah he might hiss in public but you don't know his life. Maybe he can't control it.

I headcanon Amy as a hedgehog/echidna mix, but she simply looks more like a hedgehog in the face and body, but her quills are what really give her mixed heritage away (I am projecting)

Depending on which continuity you're looking at, Sonic was taught to control his instincts either from an orphanage, his uncle, his mom, or some secret 4 thing I'm forgetting.

He doesn't teach Tails about the whole instincts thing, but Tails has always been in a rush to grow up. He's smart and observant, he's the king of repressing them instead of learning at a slow and more natural pace that won't hurt him in the long run

Cream and Amy are the most socially competent by a longshot. Rouge could be if she, first of all, didn't spend so much time with Shadow and Omega, and also didn't find it funny to act like she does.

Okay, that's it for now. If I think of more I'll reblog the post with another headcanon, otherwise please add your own. I love headcanons, please let me add them to my arsenal. You're welcome to message me or go to my asks box as well as long as your nicest to me <3

I'm eventually going to do a post detailing what I think social media is like in the Sonic world.

If you have any headcanons put them in the tags, reply, or my ask box ! Any character you want me to focus on ? Message me, or hit my ask box ! Suggestions are always welcome .

[every-character-ever-poll]

TAKUTO MARUKI - Persona 5 Royal

PROPAGANDA (UNDER THE CUT):

The Persona fandom might pounce on me for this one, but Takuto is such a sweetheart! He's a cringefail malewife high school counselor! He's awkward, naive, and clumsy, he's the "how do you do, fellow kids?" meme. He's a great cook and he's always taking little sippy sips from his little apply juice box during his counseling sessions. That man sure loves his apples!

Takuto is the only adult in the game that's willing to support the teenage protagonist fully and enthusiastically from the get-go, no questions asked. He's tired and horribly traumatized but that won't stop him from trying to be a ray of sunshine for his students, all while repressing his own pain. He also goes out of his way to help total strangers. Basically he really thinks he needs to be the one giving and giving but never taking.

HOWEVER, he is not a pushover and this is important! He WILL speak up if he considers someone is being treated unfairly. He supports changing the system and believes in restorative justice for literally everyone except his One (1) sworn enemy which I think is funny.

Anyways, he might be a lovable dumbass but he is incredibly passionate about his research into cognitive psience. He could ramble on and on about it all day and I swear his eyes light up whenever you talk to him about it or show the slightest interest in it. You cannot convince me that man is neurotypical. Either way he seriously believes in his research's power to change the world for the better and will do ANYTHING to achieve it.

:)

[MAJOR SPOILERS FROM THIS POINT ONWARDS] Sooooo if the protagonist helps Takuto with his research, he's eventually bestowed the power to rewrite the very fabric of reality with no warning! Of course, being who he is, Takuto decides to use this power to rid the world of pain, to erase everyone's memories of their trauma and bring their loved ones back from the dead, and create a reality that's easier for everyone according to himself!

My favorite thing about Takuto's writing as an antagonist is that his motivations never change. Yes, he goes to some fun and cool extremes to achieve his goal, but he never does anything for himself even now that he has the power of a god, and he still really believes he's only sacrificing himself for everyone else's happiness. He's a great example of thinking "the ends justify the means," and "the road to hell is paved with good intentions."

Even if the protagonist chooses to confront him, they both still respect and care about each other like they did before. Takuto is genuinely distraught when he hears the protagonist doesn't approve of his vision for the world, because he really does think this is all for the best. He's just brainwashing people to make them happy! He also has some cool religious symbolism going on. He's convinced that the universe chose him specifically to guide humanity into a better, happier world. He misses his wife, Tails. He is perfect.

[w98pops]

TW: SUICIDE MENTION, VIOLENCE

i knew i said i would take a little break, but ive been mentally declining a lot and drawing my silly guys is my way of coping. I never actually properly drew Wendy from 2301, so im filling in the blanks.

I'd like to think of her as a person who never actually... grows up. She just kinda gets taller and more sad over time. Wendy was always very vulnerable but cheerful, and House kinda groomed her into a serious and politically aware person, still unbelievably vulnerable but a viable subject nonetheless. I always had this problem with writing her relationship with another canon character, no one realistically would give a fuck about her and her opinions. Sure, maybe Arcade will pity Wendy because she's "stupid" from a neurotypical point of view, but other than that, she doesn't have any weight in any political conversation that's going on in the Mojave. So I made her really fucking stubborn. Annoyingly so. Wendy just... gets the job done. She's resourceful, efficient and very easy to manipulate. A perfect fit for a House's courier, I think. She doesn't question his orders, she does not care for consequences as long as she has House as her cover (a trait she inherited from her step-father) and she's sometimes sociopathic and numb to voices of empathy. Not in a "edgelord murder killer girl" way but more like. She doesn't see people who hurt her as humans. A coping mechanism that would probably be the end of her, sometime in the future. I mean, she did confront Benny and got really physical. There was no way she could've win a fight against a grown ass man, and Benny did beat the shit out of her, but in the end he was the one with a cracked open skull. I just like to think that her pure madness and helplessness was enough to fuel her mind and overpower something she had no chance against in the first place. SPEAKING OF CHANCE. That's why I think she would totally get along with Chance, the Khan from the comic. I don't really put a thought about how he would've survived or joined her, but they're pretty much soulmates. They have very different backgrounds, personalities, literally anything, but Chance recognises her rage. Her inability to do what's right and the constant fight against unfightable (?) circumstances she's facing every day. I'd like to think he's autistic too. As a treat.

So yeah, she's super uncertain about anything in her life, and that makes her a very useful tool in the hands of a right man. Mr. House mastefully manipulated her personality in a conventional way, taught her the secret and mysterious knowledge of "masking" and sat her down for a few years to teach her ways of the capital and created this really sad but smart and charismatic politician with no real political voice whatsoever. She's also very cute and sweet looking so yeah. He made himself a Tandi. 😭😭 Also he scanned her brains, which would totally not be a big plot point for the future.

Almost perfect, but Sharky is here too, for some reason. He's the biggest pain in the House's ass since Benny. He has a certain emotional intellect, not easy to bribe or manipulate in mental or physical way, he really fucking cares for his sister, and is very aware of the things The Big Guy does to her. See, Sharky wasn't raised by his sister, she was a child herself at that time, and his mother didn't play much role either, too busy bickering with Aletus and then later too busy drinking and fucking in Gomorrah. Sharky was raised by the Strip and the rules of Wasteland. He might not be the smartest guy alive, but emotionally he's mature beyond belief. He's very observant, empathetic and cunning person. Even tho he was mute most of his childhood because of child neglect and untreated autism, he has incredible social skills and a Yes-man in his basement he found while renovating the Tops. He has a plan. Not a good one, but a plan nonetheless.

I have so much OC material I'm ought to write a fanfic. Or a comic, idk. In my dreams, sure, but it's still refreshing to talk about my ocs and draw them, and recieving feedback and praise for my storytelling skills 😭😭😭 it means a lot. Thank you all for reading this far!!!

[hexbimbo]

DBD Autism HC |

🔥 Survivors |

Claudette Morel

Pretty much canon

Automatically assumes that people who don’t talk to her don’t like her

Info dumps about plants

Smiles awkwardly at jokes. She really does think it’s funny! She just doesn’t have the emotional range to give a proper, hearty laugh.

Clothes with sequins are a no-no.

For a long time, Baby Claudette refused to wear jeans. They’re too itchy and tight mom!

Has a difficult time keeping a hygiene routine. Doesn’t want to smell like basement goblin though. The shower is very overwhelming ( too wet, too hot in the bath, too cold when she’s done. ESPECIALLY hates putting on a robe if she’s still really wet.)

Snaps her fingers a lot when she has overwhelmed.

I don’t really picture her as having “food rules” or eating the same thing everyday. Has a problem with textures, especially early in the morning because she’s groggy.

Renato Lyra

Also pretty much canon.

May not follow the social rules but is die hard with physical, literal rules.

“C’mon Renato! It looks fun over there!”

“ But the sign says ‘do not enter’ 🧍🏽‍♂️”

The thought of committing himself to a full time- romantic relationship is very stressful to him. He enjoys his down time and wouldn’t be able to handle his partner stressing him out. (Being late, having to explain his stims and comfort objects etc)

Has a hard time eating veggies and is pretty much contispated 24-7. The textures and fluctuating taste. Wasn’t aware shitting pebbles wasn’t normal until it was brought up in conversation.

“Huh? Whaddya mean popping isnt supposed to hurt???”

Hates sweaty feet but his sandals chafe all. the. time. Plus, he hates when the sand gets in-between the shoe and his foot. If he wanted to feel the sand he would’ve gone barefoot dammit!

🔪 🩸 Killers |

Albert Wesker

I don’t think he knows

“Of course I eat the same thing everyday, Chris. It’s called discipline.”

Walked on his toes as a kid.

Gets very frustrated when his schedule gets interrupted or slightly changed. If given enough time to adjust, about a week, he’ll be okay for it.

Kinda weird but he treats Neurotypical’s like how they would Neurodivergent’s.

I don’t really head-canon his lack of empathy as an exclusively Autistic trait. I do think it goes hand in hand with his narcissism though.

When he’s not doing ✨ Science ✨ or 👹 Global Saturation👹 he lays in a dark room to destim. Maybe reads or blanks out for a bit.

Most lights are too bright for him.

When sitting or leaning on something while having a discussion/watchings something, pulls the corner of eye back. (Press it gently and gently slide the finger back.) Most people think he’s expressing boredom but he’s really not. It’s just how he stims.

Hates fidget toys. They just don’t work for him. Hates that the bubble fidget doesn’t actually pop and that the dice fidget doesn’t do anything after pressing all the buttons.

Adris

Likes running her fingers along the chain of her censer.

Eating the same food everyday like a good priest 😇

Starved for information regarding her god. Reads every book, paper, scroll she can get.

Very disciplined with her schedule. Wakes up, worships, eats, and tends to the grounds at the same time every day. Doesn’t get anxious if the Entity calls her away for a trail.

The rust of the hooks is a no-no.

Destims in her prayer room. The lighting is perfect, smells are minimal, and it’s very cozy.

Washing her bedding or clothing is tough for her. Clean, crisp bedding doesn’t feel the greatest.

Pushes through the more pungent fragrances she uses in her meditations. As a child, she’d frequently have meltdowns over mirth. She could even smell it in her quarters!

Sometimes has intrusive thoughts of removing her toes and fingers, or extra skin general. Not in a mentally ill or psychotic way, but because sometimes her fingers/toes feel “lose.”

[bumblingbabooshka]

Watching ‘Juggernaut’ right now and love how both B’Elanna and Tuvok seem to have said “Yeah I’ll do this in my pajamas, it’s late.”

[realmermaid333]

my first autism awareness month post lol (im so late)

For this autism awareness month I want to talk about the more I guess "taboo" part of autism acceptance and the Autistic Experience TM

People say they support people with autism until an autistic person makes a social mistake and says something weird or stims in an "odd" way or does literally anything "strange". As soon as we unmask or the mask slips people no longer want to support us. 

I see this a lot with social mistakes being made then people being extremely judgmental and even going as far as saying people are using autism as an excuse to make social mistakes. While this has happened before, it isn’t always the case.

A big reason why we need autism awareness is people don't fully understand what autism is. 

I'll give a simplified definition: Autism is a developmental disability that impacts the nervous system. It impacts social and emotional development and common symptoms are difficulty with communication and social interaction, obsessive interests, and repetitive behaviors. 

There's more to it but that's the gist. Autistic people misinterpret social cues pretty often and that can lead to small miscommunications or even huge misunderstandings. Some people with autism struggle to tell when someone's joking, some autistic people struggle to tell when a joke or comment is appropriate, some autistic people struggle to tell if they are arguing with someone, some autistic people can't tell they are hurting people's feelings unless they are told. 

We are a wide spectrum. There are varying levels: level 1 (generally low support needs on most days/for most people), level 2 (generally medium support needs on most days/for most people), and level 3 (generally high support needs on most days/for most people). 

I find that a lot of the time when people are introduced to the topic of autism it is from a level 1, low support needs autist who is great at masking. While those people deserve and need platforms too- I myself am a level 1 with lower support needs, though I am not very good at masking- we often ignore the level 2 and 3 autistics and those who are visibly autistic.

There may be a time when an autistic person says something that makes you upset or uncomfortable and you need to communicate that. Not everyone can tell they said something that made someone uncomfortable. I think we would all also benefit from being less judgemental when someone makes a social mistake. All humans make them from time to time, though especially autistic people and other neurodivergent people do. 

I am also tired of people saying that mentioning you’re autistic after accidentally saying something that makes someone uncomfortable is using it as an excuse. It is not an excuse and shouldn’t be used as one! But it is an explanation. Understanding that someone is autistic is really good background to knowing why they may have said something. An autistic person may share they are autistic after a misunderstanding so you know it wasn't intentional and that they understand now and hope to avoid the same thing in the future. 

As a lot of ya’ll are my friends, and I may be one of the only autistic people you are friends with, though only online. I want to tell you about my own social mistakes. I come across much more neurotypical online because I can overthink what I say lol. And most of the time it isn't healthy. I am so anxiously self aware to the point of self sabotage sometimes. When I am in online spaces I overthink what I'm going to say and sometimes edit and revise messages before I send them (I am trying to stop doing this). This is how I tend to avoid misunderstandings! I do get scared I'll mess up and people won't want to talk to me anymore. I shouldn't do that! But yeah, irl I have accidentally said things that people didn't like. I've accidentally made people uncomfortable because I couldn't edit and revise my words after I said them like I can when I type before sending. 

This is an easy thing to do in general even for someone who isn't autistic! We've all done something like this before. But when you're autistic and you may miss the context of jokes others were making or you may entirely misread a social situation. Then you try to join in and sometimes it doesn't work or you fuck up. It happens! I've done this before many times. And unfortunately people tend to be really judgmental about social mistakes, at least in my experience. It makes being autistic really hard sometimes. 

And this does not mean that you shouldn't tell an autistic person they've made you uncomfortable or said something you didn't like! That kind of constructive criticism is okay and necessary! People won't know you're upset if you keep it to yourself, especially if this is a person who reads social cues and body language poorly. This post isn't to excuse something negative an autistic person may say or say your feelings are invalid if an autistic person makes you upset. It's just to hopefully help people be more understanding. 

i don’t wanna type a tldr, just read/skim i guess. but here’s a crappy one. 

Social mistakes are a huge thing for autistic people and it just saddens me and makes me self conscious sometimes the harsh ways people deal with them. it can be really easy to make a social mistake for most people, but especially for autistic people, and especially in online spaces. 

prepare for more of my rants & musings about autism related things

[thatonebirdwrites]

I'm not entirely sure why people will treat a statement I make as an opportunity to give me suggestions on how to alter things that I do.

It is the most aggravating thing I've encountered on social media.

I can witness an interesting discussion, and then I share my thoughts that relate to the discussion, but rather than engage my words and argument -- it becomes an opportunity for them to suggest things I can do better or offer solutions that they didn't do for the other people in the conversation.

I'm not sharing a thought or insight in order to get advice. I'm sharing a thought or insight because it was pertinent to the conversation, and I thought it added value.

It's even worse if it happens in person, where the person treats me like my thought or insight is utterly useless and thus I need to be "schooled." Except they often end up repeating what I just said.

I understand as a disabled person it is perhaps shocking to abled-bodied people that I am capable of intelligent thought. It would behoove folks to remember this, and perhaps consider points made by myself and those like me with the same respect and thoughtfulness they afforded others in the conversation.

If I want advice, I will directly state that.

If I am sharing thoughts and insight that seem pertinent to the conversation at hand? Then that is what I am doing. It is not an opportunity to talk down to me or offer advice on how to handle something.

I also know it's not just me either as this is a common discussion within the disability community of how we are treated when we speak up about, well, anything.

For example, I discuss cultural changes and societal systems a lot. I find it frustrating that people will jump to: "I have solutions that will solve your issue so you can better assimilate" or something akin to that, instead of engaging my original point about x or y topic. (For example, a change in culture and how people act in that society may result from people adapting or altering their behaviors based on: peer pressure, external factors within the society at large, capitalist exploitation, oppressive factors within society, unconscious biases, impact of media, etc...)

And just as culture and societal systems can change over time, we can change it ourselves in how we interact with one another and in what we create. None of these are a set, permanent thing. It is possible to push back against harmful changes in culture and various societal systems.

Sharing insights like that shouldn't be radical, but I guess it is.

Plus sharing such insights should not result in strange and unasked for advice giving or solution-oriented mentality (unless the solutions are related to the topic and are not just for me or other disabled or marginalized people to do x or y to "solve" what we shared in our insight).

It makes me wonder if when I discuss societal systems and/or other complex topics -- are people overwhelmed? Have I failed a neurotypical hidden-rule-check and thus get treated differently based on that? Do people not understand the points? Are they falling back on biases in order to cease a topic that makes them uncomfortable? Is there some sort of cognitive dissonance happening? What is the disconnect happening and where? Should I ask or point out the disconnect? These questions often run through my head when I encounter this.

It's why I so rarely join conversations, because my insights are rarely treated with the same respect as others who have already spoken. Sometimes it feels like I get a pat on the head (there has been in-person discussions where someone literally did this to me) for daring to speak up rather than treating my point as adding value to the discussion.

Often I notice the conversation ceases after I or another marginalized person speaks up. As if we killed the discussion by daring to share insights at all. It's happened so often that I am skittish about sharing anything.

It's also why I often revert to writing out essays and sharing that, but it's rare for people to engage the essays though.

Yes, sometimes I struggle with conversation that happens in real-time due to my disabilities, but that doesn't mean my contributions are useless or require the other listeners to revert to advice-giving rather than engagement.

I also struggle to contribute due to that fear I won't be treated with same respect afforded others in the conversation or that I'll fail to articulate a point well and accidentally cause a misunderstanding or I'll misremember a detail and get blasted alive based on that technicality. It's why I like Internet conversations that don't happen in real time, but are posts and comments that take place over hours or days. It gives me time to consider my reply and how to word it, and if I need to pull out a link for the research bit.

But even if I approach conversations in that manner, it doesn't seem to matter. The advice giving or need to find "solutions" for insights that aren't asking for that will often happen regardless.

I wonder how aware people are of whether they do this or not.

P.S. if a person reading this feels the need to revert to advice-giving and solutions in response to this, I would like to kindly inform you that this is exactly the bias I discussed. Nothing in this post is about me asking for advice about this topic. I am simply relaying my insights of an phenomenon I have noticed over the course of my and my disabled friends' lives. The questions asked in this piece are only to invoke thought and are rhetorical.

P.P.S. Feel free to share your experiences with this phenomenon however! Sharing your experiences is always worthwhile and will add value to the discussion. (As long as sharing does not explicitly target someone to invoke harm.)

P.P.P.S. I probably overexplained as I tend to do.

P.P.P.P.S. Using post scripts on a blog post amuses me, okay?

[avelera]

Last point on the whole "If Hob has ADHD, he might also suffer from rejection sensitivity dysphoria (RSD) and if he does, here's a few moments in the show that might lend to that interpretation," headcanon I've been batting around but I did laugh at myself to realize that not once, but t w i c e in Giving Sanctuary that I thought were just me writing normal, if passionate, reactions to events by both Hob and Dream and only in retrospect realize are actually textbook cases of RSD.

The first one is in ch. 11 and it's actually Dream who has it. He and Hob are discussing Dream's past relationship with Calliope and how Orpheus was conceived and Hob trips over his words a bit. He accidentally implies that only an idiot would want to marry Dream, when really he was saying the opposite. But Dream, already in a sensitive place because they're about to visit his son's grave, leaps to the worst possible conclusion, which is rejection by the man he's starting to crush on hard, and flips the fuck out, stalking off and threatening to abandon Hob on that beach in a fit of, well, rejection-sensitive dysphoria.

I literally wrote it that his perceived rejection by Hob hits Dream so hard right in the chest that it feels like he's been stabbed. He's starting to fall in love and when discussing his past love life with the person he's in love with, he hears that he's totally unlovable on this topic he's very sensitive about. Dream's flip-out might be informed by my own experiences with RSD, but it is also informed by his reaction in 1889 to Hob suggesting Dream has changed and that he's lonely.

It's interesting to note, that in the 1889 beat of the canon episode, Dream views someone suggesting he's lonely as if it were rejection and reacts like someone with ADHD/RSD. Any attempt to help him at all is treated as a sign of his own failure and he reacts with incredibly powerful emotion. When Hob offers sympathy, Dream only hears weakness in canon.

(It should be noted that Hob also has a panic attack in the face of Dream's-rejection-based-on-Hob's-perceived-rejection which also matches RSD.)

The second time I accidentally depicted RSD is in ch. 16, after Hob awakens and thinks he's "disrespected" Dream in his sleep. In truth, the evidence of their love making is because they actually made love, but Hob doesn't know that or have any reason to understand that Dream was really there in Hob's actual dream of him.

Dream doesn't reject Hob here but he doesn't have to. Hob has the full "knife in the chest" moment of terror that he will be caught that he will be found out for having sexual thoughts about his friend and for being in love with him before he could bring up the possibility of a romantic relationship between them under more cautious, dignified terms.

Perceiving Dream's rejection as inevitable, because Hob is so disgusted at himself for what he believes is a loss of control in his sleep, Hob fully freaks out and very nearly has a panic attack. Dream, seeing only that their lovemaking ended with Hob's full unmitigated freakout, is also left with a sense of rejection but in this case he also thinks it's his fault and he took Hob's interest in his dreams as far too literal and may have possibly forced himself upon Hob in that light. So they both feel sick and awful about it pretty much until they reunite, another ADHD/RSD reaction.

Anyway! I am laughing at myself a bit for thinking I was writing anything remotely adjacent to neurotypical reaction. Some what I assume to be neurotypical readers even commented that their sense of rejection seemed disproportionate and I scoffed because uh, isn't that just what rejection or perceived rejection feels like?

Yeah. It does. If you have ADHD/RSD.

[compassionatereminders]

Venting;

my bf refuses to let me say that i’m fucking sad bc i hardly have a social circle and i struggle to make friends. he always fucking rebuttals it with “well, you have me, you have [roommate friend], you have [friend], you have [lists people i don’t consider friends]” which is like fucking not the point! “quality over quantity” he says LIKE THE QUALITY ISNT MY WHOLE FUCKING POINT AND WHY I FEEL SO ALONE. i feel lonely! i can’t talk to anyone about hardly anything when it comes to my partner either because they’re all friends with each other. anytime i make a new acquaintance either my partner or my roommate become better friends with them than me.

i text and talk to people constantly to hang out and rarely get replies or invited back. these same people will spam my roommate with facetimes and hang out invites and my partner just tells me i have to “actually try” to make people treat me that way. Which feels like he’s insinuating i don’t fucking try? but when i say “hey, i feel that you’re suggesting that i don’t try— or that i’m having a pity party— when all i need is for you to be kind and empathize with my feelings, which you don’t have to do by saying i’m 100% right about i’m feeling!” then that’s immediately thrown back in my face. my partner says i’m just being “[my name]” about it, and it hurts.

most recently one of those people that i introduced my roommate too and then promptly lost as a friend despite trying to hang out with her numerous times was having a superbowl party. my bf was invited and my roommate was invited. i was not. when i expressed i was not invited, my bf argued that this friend actually HAD invited me, but i was zoned out at the time (during class!!!) and didn’t listen. i never received a text from her, i never received any more details from her, nothing. literally just my bf saying she’s invited me more than once, but NEVER DIRECTLY TO ME.

but apparently i’m fucking crazy to suggest that i didn’t feel genuinely invited and therefore didn’t want to go unless i was explicitly told by her she’d like me to be there! i texted her the night of and she said i “could come if i wanted to” but at the time of the super bowl she was out of the house with a friend. my partner and my roommate were both invited not just to her watch party but to other people’s watch parties. i was only “””invited””” to hers, and even then am i that fucking crazy for not feeling like it was a real invite?? when my whole problem is that my entire social circle is based around my bf and roommate no matter how i try to make my own friends and i don’t get invited to hang out unless i make the plan first?

it’s just so fucking upsetting that i’m this giant fucking loser and every time i get emotional about it my partner insinuates i have to stop “being [myself] about it” and “be proactive.” he’s neurotypical and i’m not and this often is a difference that’s hard for us to navigate when it comes to talking abt social shit.

but this is actually driving me so batshit upset right now and i’m venting to you because once again i literally have 0 friends that i can talk to that aren’t also friends with my boyfriend. i also do not have friends that are awesome about talking about emotions in depth, which is something that’s really important to me in a friendship. i can’t confide how i’m feeling with most of the people my bf would define for me as “friends” bc they’re not friends to me!

i can go to a friend and trust them with my baggage and change without worrying who it’s going to hurt or how they’re going to judge me for it. i can go to a friend with trivial shit and they’re still up in arms to support how i’m feeling, even if they’re also telling me i’m being irrational! i have friends in my home state (6 hours away from my college here) that are amazing at listening to me without judging me and still giving me reality checks. i don’t need or want a person who just says i’m right all the time, but i do need someone who can feel my feelings with me and actually talk about them if that makes any freaking sense.

it’s also hard bc i started college and went through some extremely traumatic experiences right off the bat which continued through my sophomore year. it led to a ton of bullying within my relatively small major. to the point that random girls came up to me at a party & asked if i was [my first & last name]” and when i said yes they laughed and walked away. to the point that i was in a group with a random girl from our major and she said “to be honest, i’m surprised how nice you are. i didn’t wanna say anything but i’ve heard a lot about you.” despite us having zero mutual friends!

i already dealt with a lot of mental health issues prior to all of this, which ended up fueling my severe social anxiety and a constant nagging fear that people already know who i am and hate me. i know it’s not true, and i’m working super hard on it. i’m a junior now and for the first time since college started i introduced myself to someone new and they’ve actually been a wonderful friend. i’ve started talking to people in class around me again. i’m trying so freaking hard to be normal again.

the tldr of it is i’m so lonely here and i’m so upset that i can’t express how i feel about social interaction and how much i miss the person i was (and i’m trying to be again) to my partner without feeling belittled. then i’m getting angry bc of the cycle and i hate being angry at him. then i try to explain what i’m trying to get out of these conversations and that i do understand not having friends is ultimately my fault, but i just wanna hear that its okay to mourn and feel weird about it all. i hate that i can’t talk to him. i hate that i don’t have my best friends here, or even close enough to see anymore. i feel like i’m a horrible person all of the time and i can’t stop fearing that i really am just a horrible bad person. i’m so stuck and yet i’m trying as hard as i can right now. i love him so much and hearing him basically say my feelings are wrong and i’m not trying hard enough hurts SO. FUCKING. BAD. but maybe i am being crazy or too stubborn, and i don’t even know.

and yes. i am therapy-shopping rn. but i just needed this off my chest bc i’ve been stewing in it for weeks and i’m so exhausted of blowing up and arguing over this dumb thing. i just need someone to hear me i guess.

thanks for reading this if you do. i really appreciate your blog & how safe it is for me. i feel less alone seeing your responses to asks/vents like this one. so thank you, truly.

No I'm with you on this one like yeah, there ARE ways to respectfully question your conclusions, but completely dismissing and invalidating your experiences and emotions is just not the way to do that. You have a right to your emotions, and even if some of your conclusions might not necessarily fit into their experience of the situation, you still have a right to your own experience, and you still deserve comfort and support from the people who are supposed to be your friends and partners. Like of course you're feeling lonely if no one is willing to take your struggles seriously enough to actually support you through them