#i want to finish the anime and 'put it on the shelf' so bad

[cranberrylane]

i love trigun but i'm really having a hard time finishing the 98 anime because i know about the inevitable and i'm not emotionally prepared for that

[boldlyvoid]

Employee of the Month

eddie munson x reader

Summary: To make some extra cash before Christmas, Y/N takes a job stocking the grocery store shelves at midnight, unbeknownst to her that her high school crush also works there

Warnings: mutual pining, partial slow burn, parental death, mentions of Eddie's murder charges (now dropped), being ostracized by the town, teasing, flirting, sick Eddie, hurt/comfort, falling in love, first kiss, first times, virgin Eddie, virgin reader, making out, grinding, dry humping, cumming in pants. they're really horny touch starved adults

word count: 9k

In a last-ditch effort to make some more money this Christmas, she takes a job at the local grocery store to stock the shelves at midnight. It’s not too bad, there are only 16 shelves and about 30 feet of freezer to restock, she gets to bring a walkman and headphones and wear whatever she wants. As long as the shelves look nice come morning, the boss didn’t really care. 

From the first night she worked there she knew it was going to be a good fit, mainly because the other stock person she’s been partnered with is the same guy she had a massive crush on in high school. Eddie Munson had one hell of a year while she was trying to graduate, he was getting accused of murdering her classmates. He disappeared mostly after that, the school gave him a pass and his diploma so they didn’t have to see him again, the town pretended they didn’t try and murder him in revenge for an entire week and she didn’t see him again for a while. 

“Hey,” she waves at him with her lips pressed together in a tight smile, “I’m—

“Y/N,” he points at her name tag with a matching smile. “I take it you’re my new buddy?” 

She nods, “yeah… um, what are we doing tonight?” 

“The snacks and chips aisle, the milk fridge and the cheeses,” he recites the list as he pulls it out of his pocket and hands it to her. 

While she is just in jeans and a sweater, nothing too fancy, he’s in a navy blue jumpsuit with his name embroidered on the left breast, and just under it, the grocery store logo. He was in uniform… “why don’t I have to wear one of those?” 

“Oh, I got this for being the employee of the month,” he shrugs it off, not meaning to brag in the slightest. “You like it?” 

“Yeah,” she smiles like a fool, nodding quickly and looking at the list he handed her to avoid his eye contact. 

She liked him so much in high school, and he was still so cute, it was all coming back to her. He’s much more laid back and reserved now, it has been over a year since she’s seen him in person, too. It made her wonder if he was still that same loud, opinionated nerd that she admired from a distance. 

He’s super nice about teaching her the right way to restock everything, bringing the old stuff to the front and the new things get pushed to the back of each shelf. They split up the aisles and met in the middle, trying to beat each other each time. He sang along to the radio playing over the speakers, and he danced when he thought she wasn’t looking… he was just as cute as he was in high school. 

They end up making a good team, they finish their list and pick up a few extra chores. They change a lightbulb in the guest bathroom, take inventory of the magazines and run disinfectant over every surface they could until their shift ends. It feels like it takes forever, they’re awkward when talking to each other but it’s kinda easy to hang out with him. This was going to be a good job for her. 

“You need a ride home?” He asks in the staff room after work, both of them putting on their coats and scarves. The November chill in Hawkins was not nice. 

She shakes her head and starts to point, “no, I just live—

“You can’t walk home in the middle of the night,” he cuts her off. “There’s too many creeps and animals out there. I don’t mind where it is?” 

“Okay,” she gives in easily. 

She gives him her address as they walk out to his van, he opens the door for her and lets her hop in before closing it for her too. He asks her about how long she’s lived there, trying his best to make conversation but it hurts. 

“Uh, we’ve always lived in Hawkins, my house is still a mess from the earthquake but the insurance is fixing it soon,” she assures, nervous for him to see the state of the place when he pulls up. “If my dad was still here he’d probably have it done by now, but it’s just me and my mom.” 

“God, I’m sorry,” he felt so bad for asking. “That was the worst fucking week ever.” 

“yeah… it sucked for everyone,” she doesn’t even know how to touch upon what he went through. “Glad it’s over.” 

“More than you know,” he sighs, turning onto her road finally. 

He doesn’t want to come in for coffee or anything, he gives her a smile and a wave and watches to make sure she gets inside her house safely before driving away. 

She thinks about him well into the morning when she should be sleeping. It’s easy to get sucked into an imaginary life where he asks her out after a shift and they hang out and fall in love and she finally gets to kiss that smile off his beautiful face… it’s not easy to make it come true. She would go to her grave with the fact she thinks he’s handsome and nice and funny and cute. She’s not big on sharing feelings, having no one to ever really share them with, in the first place. 

—

She doesn’t see him unless she’s working, which was only 3 nights a week, Friday, Saturday and Sunday. 

She uses those 3 nights wisely. She wears something nice but not too suspicious, and she always smells nice and does the best she can with her hair and makeup… she wants him to think she’s pretty. She wants to catch him staring at her instead of how many times he caught her looking at him as a teenager. 

He tells her that she looks nice every day in many different ways. 

“Did you come straight from the ball, princess?” 

“You know this is a grocery store, not a fashion show, right?” 

And her personal favourite… “It's too cold out there for you to come in looking so hot.” With a wink. A fucking wink. It almost made her pass out. 

He does it just to bug her, he likes to make her squirm and lose every thought in her head. He laughs when she stutters through a response and he always pats her shoulder gently and says, “I just mean you look nice today.” 

She has a hard time reaching the top shelves sometimes and he has no problem coming over and standing real close to her. “Here, I got that,” he says in such a low voice it felt like a whisper. He reaches up and takes everything down for her, “do you want me to put them up for you too?” 

“Sure,” she doesn’t mind, she works on the second highest shelf instead, still close to him, she watches him reach and extend his long arms and puff out his chest and ugh he’s so hot it makes her stare like an idiot. 

“You’re drooling,” he teases her. 

She wipes her face quickly, “what? No, shut up.” 

He just giggles and finishes shoving the new stock toward the back of the shelf. She bumps shoulders with him right before he heads back to his stack of things, he had boxes of croutons to unpack. She was now moving on to salad dressings and other condiments. 

She doesn’t dare start up any conversations, overthinking everything that comes into her head too much. She didn’t feel like he’d find anything she had to say interesting. 

They’re in the soup aisle when he finally speaks again. “Can I ask you something?”

She’s a bit shocked cause he’s been silent for so long, but she nods. 

“When you dream is there ever a specific topic you dream about the most?” 

“Tornados,” she can answer without batting an eye. “I had one the other night actually… I don’t know why but there’s always a tornado.” 

“That is an interesting one… did you just watch a lot of the wizard of oz growing up?” He teases. 

She can’t help but smile, “no, I’ve actually never watched it.” 

“You get more interesting every time you talk,” he means it as a compliment. 

“Yeah? Well, why’d you even ask about dreams? Do you have a good one?”  She turns the conversation back to him, taking a handful of soups and shoving them into the shelf. 

“I keep having dreams in high school where I’m failing again and none of the teachers will pass me,” he explains. “And I had one last night cause I guess seeing you again so much is reminding me of being back in school.” 

“Wait,” she turns to him full of shock and awe, “you remember me?” 

“Of course,” he doesn't see it as a big deal. “Your lunch table was beside ours, I saw you every day?” 

He saw me looking at him often… 

She wants to turn inside out with embarrassment. “Oh, I uh, I didn’t think you paid attention to that.” 

“How could I not? You always reacted the best when I did something stupid,” he reminisces, stepping in closer to her. “And I remember your laugh was cute.” 

She’s too nervous to even giggle awkwardly, he’s in her personal space and he smells good and his eyes are so inviting, “thanks…” all the air in her chest leaves as she melts in front of him. 

“I’d be lying if I said I didn’t do all that shit just for your attention,” he admits, licking his lips as he stares at hers. 

It’s like time stops, her brain can’t process all the information so she just blinks a few times and stares back at him with a furrowed brow. “Really?” 

He nods with a laugh, pulling away and returning to the stack of boxes they had to put away. “Yeah, I uh, I should probably feel a little stupid telling you this now after all this time, but uh, you bring the stupid out of me… I kinda had a huge crush on you back then.” 

“Me?” 

“Yeah, you,” he teases. “You act like thats a total surprise? You’re so pretty and you were never mean to me, it was bound to happen.” 

She’s completely dumbfounded, “oh… that’s— I’m nice to everyone? At least I try to be.” 

But then she realizes what he really said, he used to have a crush on her, but that’s long gone. He wouldn’t tell her if he still had one, would he? Guys weren’t that open about feelings, it was always a game with them… right? 

“Sorry,” he realizes he fucked up by telling her. “I didn’t want to make things awkward between us.”

“No, no, it’s fine, it’s just weird for me. I’ve never been told straight up that someone had a crush on me,” she’s really taken aback. “Thanks… really.” 

“Anytime,” he blushes slightly, dropping it there.

He drives her home again like he does every night that she works cause he really can’t stand the idea of her walking home past midnight as the temperature drops. He has tried to offer to pick her up beforehand, but she doesn’t want to put him out, and her mom doesn’t mind dropping her off every night… but he asks again, anyway. 

Parked outside of her house, he turns to her. “Can I please come pick you up before your next shift?” He all but begs. 

“I guess,” she gives in, “why?” 

He shrugs, “I like spending time with you.” 

“Then why don’t you ever want to come in for a coffee?” She combats, really wanting him to come in. “I also have tea and hot chocolate…” 

“Okay,” he gives in right back. “I’ll come in with you, tonight.” 

“Really?” She lights right up and throws off her seatbelt, reaching for the door. 

“Wait, wait, wait!” He panics, rushing out first and coming around to her side to open it up for her, “you’re gonna make me look bad, walking you to the front door and not getting the door for you is a crime.” 

“If you say so,” she laughs at him as she hops out beside him. 

He slams her door closed and with a hand on her back, he leads her toward the front door. “You sure you’re mom's okay with me being in her house?” 

“Yeah, why not?” She honestly forgets. 

“Well, I’m me?” He awkwardly laughs, feeling incredibly nervous about his reputation. “It’s honestly why I’ve not said yes yet, I don’t know who hates me still…” 

“Oh god, no, she doesn’t hate you, she doesn’t hate anyone,” she puts up both hands in a sort of surrender that made him smile. She meant it. “She’s also asleep so you won’t have to talk to her at all.” 

“Okay,” he assures her, rubbing his hand over her shoulder with a smile. 

Every time he looks at her like that she wants to melt right into him, to swim around in the chocolate pools of his eyes for hours on end. He’s so beautiful, she’s never going to get over it. 

He leans in closer, looking at her through his lashes, “Are we going inside soon, it’s cold out here?” 

“Sure, yeah,” she remembers what they were doing, digging her keys out of her pocket. She unlocks the door and pushes it open, slipping in first and letting him follow. 

Inside he kicks off his shoes and hangs up his jacket beside hers before following her all the way into the kitchen. He’s as quiet as a mouse, respecting that her mom is asleep somewhere in the house. 

“So what’ll it be?” She asks, opening up the fridge to take a look while he sits down at the kitchen counter. 

“Oh, I’m good, I just wanted to come in with you,” he admits but by the look on her face, she doesn’t believe him. “Seriously, I’m just going to go home and sleep anyway, it’s fine.” 

“You’ve gotta have something… come on?” She stares him down, “Pepsi? Ginger ale? Water? What about a snack?” 

“I’m fine,” he means it. “What do you normally have when you come home?” 

“It’s always different, sometimes my mom makes something for us for dinner and other nights I just have like a pop tart,” she shares, opening the cupboard and taking out a box. 

“I could actually go for a pop tart,” he admits, eyes up the box in her hands. 

She laughs and opens up one of the silver, crinkly packets and hands him one. He takes a big bite and dramatically throws his head back with a groan, “fuck, I forgot how good these are.”

“And you would’ve kept forgetting if you didn’t come in with me, so I guess you have to from now on,” she teases, feeling a lot more confident with him suddenly… she felt like things could be fun between them. If he wasn’t going to fall in love with her, she might as well try for being his best friend. 

“You’re too cute to say no to,” he can’t help but smile at her. 

“Again, you’re the only one to think so,” she rolls her eyes, not believing him. He was just a flirt, it wasn’t the truth… right?

“More for me, then,” he shrugs, taking another bite from his pop tart and dropping it there. 

—

“Are you sure you don’t need a ride?” Her mom asks from the kitchen. 

“I’m fine,” she calls back, staring out the front window, watching the street for Eddie’s van. “My co-worker offered to pick me up.” 

“Oh, which one?” 

“Um, Eddie…” she turns around slowly to see her mom standing in the doorway now. “Eddie Munson.” 

“Oh,” she is a little shocked to hear that name after so long. “I didn’t know he was still in Hawkins?” 

“He works nights so no one has to see him,” she explains, “cause people are mean… he was really scared to come in last night after work cause he didn’t want to upset you by coming into your house.” 

“Poor boy,” she feels so bad, never wanting her home to strike fear in someone. “I knew you wouldn’t have a crush on a monster, and the police cleared him, this town owes him an apology too.” 

“I know,” she agrees but she doubts it’ll ever happen. 

Sometime during their chat, Eddie pulled up outside and made his way to her front door where he laid a few knocks. She opens the door with a huge smile, “hi, sorry you didn’t have to come all the way to the door.” 

“I wanted to,” he assures her, seeing her mom peeking over her shoulder. “Hi, Mrs. Y/L/N.” 

“Hello,” she gives him a little wave. “Have fun at work you two, I’ll see you, tomorrow sweetheart.” 

“Bye mom,” she slips outside with Eddie, knowing her mom was going to watch them walk back to his van. 

He extends his hand and holds hers as they walk down the few steps of her porch, he drops her hand only to place it on her back as he leads her toward the passenger door. He opens for her, like always. He runs around the van, sends a wave to her mom at the door and then hops inside, “ready?” 

“Ready,” she can’t bite back her smile anymore, she was so giddy about holding his hand that it made her feel like a little girl again. 

He pauses for a moment and looks her up and down, “did you get all dolled up 'cause I’m driving you?” 

She tilts her head to the side, annoyed cause he always asks, “I always look like this.” 

“Beautiful, you mean?” 

She walked right into that one. 

“Fine, I’ll let you have it this time,” she gives in. 

“Good,” he throws the van in drive and heads out of her little neighbourhood towards town. 

He’s quiet for a bit, she looks around at the street lights and the businesses still open, as well as all the houses with their Christmas lights up already. “I miss it was still kinda sunny out at 8pm,” she sighs, staring out the window at the full moon rising over Hawkins. 

“I like the dark,” he shares. “Less people are out.” 

“Why don’t you move? Not that I want you to leave, but wouldn’t it be more freeing to have no one know who you are? You deserve a real life,” she lets her feelings fall right out. “You’re not a bad person, you never have been.” 

“Thanks,” he reaches out his hand and rests it on her thigh. “But it’s ‘cause everyone I love is here, I can’t leave.” 

“Right, so are you still in your band then?” 

He lets out a very surprised chuckle, “yeah, I still have my band, we still play Tuesday nights, it's the only night I don’t work.” 

She wouldn’t know that cause she didn’t work that night either, “I’ll have to come see you play sometime, I don’t have any classes that night.” 

“Oh, I didn’t know you were in school still?” 

“Community college,” she doesn’t feel so ashamed telling him. “Most my friends went off to real schools but it’s the only place I could go to for free, so.” 

“Hey, at least you got in,” he celebrates the bare minimum. “I couldn’t even dream of it with my GPA. I was thinking I’d wait a few years and get some kind of degree when I’m considered a mature student, and when people forget about me.” 

She wants to tell him that she’ll never forget about him, she never did. She thought about him all the time. She couldn’t hear Metallica on the radio without thinking about him. Every jean jacket patch made her think about him. She took a double take when she saw a man with long hair hoping it was him. She thought about him before she went to bed, in her dreams and as soon as her eyes opened in the morning. 

She was completely in love with him. 

—

She was only going to work for the holidays, and now that Christmas was only a few days away, she was worried that she only has a few more weeks left with Eddie. And for some reason that makes her want to get him a Christmas present, almost as a way to buy a place in his heart so he doesn’t forget about her when she’s not his buddy anymore. 

And then he doesn’t show up for work… she’s been waiting to see him all week, and he’s a no-show.

So she asks her shift manager who says Eddie called out earlier in the day really, really sick. It makes her heart hurt knowing he wasn’t feeling good. 

So she pushes through her shift. It’s weird without him, but she does it. She walks home for the first time and it’s a lot colder than she expected. The wind on her face and the snow in her hair, melt as the heat from her body escapes from her head. She gets home finally and she’s shivering, she wants to wrap herself up in a blanket and sleep for days, instead goes right to the kitchen. She searches through her cupboards for a couple cans of chicken noodle soup and some crackers, she grabs a few cans of ginger ale and takes her mom's keys. There’s no way she’s going back out there 

She drives right into the trailer park and follows the road slowly, scanning the driveways for eddies van until she finally finds it. She parks outside the blue and white trailer and carefully heads towards his door, not wanting to slip with a handful of cans. 

She knocks carefully, the lights are all still on so it’s not like she’s waking him up… and then another man she doesn’t know answers. “Yes?” 

“Hi, I’m so sorry but is this Eddie’s trailer?” She panics. 

“It is.” 

“I brought him some soup, I heard he was sick and that’s why he couldn’t make it to work tonight…” 

“Oh, that’s sweet, come on in out of the cold,” he ushers her right inside the tiny trailer. “Sorry for the mess, we’ve both been battling this random cold, I got it at the plant and he finally got it from me yesterday.” 

“Oh no, I’m sorry,” she sympathizes as she lays everything down on his kitchen counter. “I’m Y/N, by the way.” 

“Wayne, Eddies uncle,” he introduces himself. “He’s talked a lot about you, I was wondering when I’d get to meet ya.” 

“Oh, really?” She can’t believe it. 

“yeah… you know, I can put that soup on, you can go down the hall there and see him, he’s just reading in bed, I think?” He points. 

“Oh, okay sure,” she doesn’t mind, she was honestly expecting Eddie to live alone and have an empty kitchen, not an uncle who loved him dearly there to take care of him. 

She shrugs off her coat and takes off her boots first and then she heads down the hallways carefully, she knocks on his closed door, waiting for the all-clear to enter… and his “yeah?” Comes out so sad and sickly that it makes her heart hurt. 

She pushes the door open carefully, “hey… I heard you were sick?” 

“Y/N?” He sits right up, fixing his hair and wiping his nose. “I didn’t think you knew where I lived?” 

“I just looked for the van, I think everyone knows you live in the trailer park,” she realizes how weird that sounds. 

“True, still I can’t believe you’re here?” 

She comes in and takes a seat on the edge of his bed, putting out her hand to hold the back of it to his forehead, “you’re all fevered, oh no… have you taken anything?” 

He nods, “yeah, some Buckleys…” 

“I brought you some soup, Wayne’s heating it up for you,” she explains with a soft smile. “He’s sweet.” 

“Where’d you think I got my charm from?” He teases, still well enough to try and make her smile. 

She brushes his hair off his face gently, “I’m glad you have him to take care of you.” 

“I’d much prefer you as my nurse… would you give me a sponge bath?” 

“No,” she holds back her laugh and just shakes her head with a smile. “But nice try.” 

“Damn,” he sighs, tossing his head back against the pillow and closing his eyes. Turning on the dramatics, he looks at her with the sweetest puppy dog eyes, “will you at least keep me company while I have my soup?” 

“Of course,” she planned to stay as long as he needed her. “I just have to bring my mom's car back before 8am cause she needs to go to work.” 

“I promise I won’t keep you long,” he reaches out for her hand, holding them with both of his own. “I really appreciate you coming to check on me… and might I say you look very cute today, I’m glad I didn’t miss this one.” 

She melts at his words, “you must not be too sick if you’re still trying to flirt with me.” 

“I’m going to remind you that you’re beautiful until the day I die,” he’s very stern about that. 

“Yeah, like you’ll know me that long,” she plays it off. 

He gives her hands a little squeeze, “I like to think I will… I might just be high on cough syrup, but I like to think I’ll find you in every life I lead, you’re so special to me, Y/N.” 

“You’re definitely high,” she teases, leaning in forward to kiss his forehead as she stands up. “I’m going to check on your soup… you sober up by the time I get back.” 

“Yeah, yeah,” he agrees but doesn’t drop her hands, he holds on as long as he can and then she slips away from him. 

Wayne’s just putting the soup in a bowl as she walks back into the kitchen, she grabs a sleeve of soup crackers and a ginger ale, it's plated and then Wayne turns to her. 

“You know he’s not kidding, right?” 

“What?” 

“He wouldn’t lie,” Wayne gives her those honest Munson eyes that she loves so much in his nephew. “And clearly you feel the same if you’ve come all the way out here at half midnight to make him soup.” 

She feels the colour leave her face as she’s caught red-handed, she was doing this because she loved him so dearly she couldn’t stand spending a shift without seeing him. She wanted to always take care of him. She loved him. It was as simple as that. She just loves him. 

“Life’s too short to not tell each other,” he adds some last words of wisdom and hands her the tray of her lover's dinner. 

She’s extra quiet when she brings him his dinner, and when she sits on the end of his bed to accompany him while he eats. He has a book resting face down, cracked open to keep its page, resting beside him. She reaches for it, checking the cover, it’s the fellowship of the ring. 

“I’ve never read The Lord of the Rings, is it good?” 

“It’s the best book series there is,” he assures her while taking another spoonful of soup. 

She keeps her thumb where Eddie was reading but skips back to the first few pages, reading it over quietly to see if she’d like it at all… it’s cute. “You can read it from the beginning if you want?” 

“Out loud?” She wonders if he’d want to hear that too. 

“As if you could get any better,” he manages to smile no matter how sick he feels. “Please, I’d really love that.” 

“Three Rings for the Elven-kings under the sky, Seven for the Dwarf-lords in their halls of stone, Nine for Mortal Men doomed to die, One for the Dark Lord on his dark throne In the Land of Mordor where the Shadows lie. One Ring to rule them all, One Ring to find them, One Ring to bring them all and in the darkness bind them In the Land of Mordor where the Shadows lie.”

He basks in the way her voice sounds alongside his favourite book, words he’s read so many times and heard in his own voice now being retold in hers. He listens ever so intently, enjoying it more than she’d ever know as she watches the page, trying her hardest not to stutter and to pronounce all the words right so he didn’t laugh at her… but even when she gets stuck he just affectionately corrects her and admires her as she continues. 

She makes it through the prologue and the facts about hobbits and pipeweed and the shire by the time he’s done eating. He has enough energy to take his dishes out to the kitchen himself and returns with a smile. She made her way up to the pillows beside him and slipped under the covers so he could get in beside her, “come on, I’m reading you a chapter or two and then I’ve gotta go home.” 

“Right,” he gets into the bed beside her and snuggles right up to her, he wraps himself around her arm with his cheek on her shoulder so he can watch the page as she reads on through chapter one. 

He falls asleep like that, with a warm belly full of soup and a heart full of love, it pains her to get up and possibly disrupt him. 

She does get up, slowly but surely, replacing herself with a pillow that he snuggles up to instead. She kisses him on the forehead, he’s not as fevered as before, hopefully he felt better tomorrow. She takes a look around for a scrap piece of paper, finding one on his dresser with a sharpie marker. She leaves her phone number and a little note. 

Call me tomorrow, I want to know if you’re feeling better. Hopefully we can finish this sometime. 

xx Y/N

She slips it into the book and leaves it on his night table and then she’s off. She says goodbye to Wayne who’s still awake because if he sleeps he’ll throw off his schedule when he goes back to work. He also did night shifts, so he wouldn’t be there next time she comes over after work… that’s good to know. 

—

He takes the whole weekend off and it sucks, but she understands he needs the time to get better. He calls her to let her know that decision around 2pm on Saturday and they stay on the phone all the way up until she has to get ready for work. 

Waynes gone back to work, leaving him completely alone in the trailer after they hang up the phone… and all he can think about is how she’s going to have to walk home again. It rattles around his brain most of the night, he paces the trailer, feeling like shit but his love for her is eating him alive and it hurts more than his congested nose. At 11:52 he finally says fuck it. 

In his pyjamas and all, he throws on a coat and slips his feet into his boots, he snags his keys off the wall and he’s gone. He books it out of the trailer park, watching the clock on his dash to ensure midnight doesn’t sneak up on him. The streets are empty, so he doesn’t worry about racing through the yellow lights on his way to the store. 

He pulls up with just a few minutes to spare, his heart racing, he just parks at the curb by the employee's only back door and he waits for her. He reaches over to the passenger door to roll down the window, wanting her to be able to see him… as if she wouldn’t notice that it’s his van. She knew his van. 

She knew him. 

And she liked him. 

The heavy door slowly opens and he sees her, laughing with their co-worker as she buttons up the last few buttons on her jacket. She’s bundled up in a scarf and she has a hat on today, she planned to be warmer on tonight's walk home.  

“Eddie?” She lights right up. “What are you doing here.” 

“I may be on my death bed but I’m not letting you walk home in the dark, princess,” he assures her, pushing the door open so she can get in. 

She waves goodbye to their co-worker, finishing their conversation before she hops in the van and closes the door. She rolls the window back up. “Burr, you’re you’re going to get sicker with this open.” 

“I hope you don’t find it weird that I’m here?” He worries, “seriously, after everything that happened here, walking home alone at midnight isn’t smart… it killed me that you walked home yesterday and then still came to see me.” 

“I know, it’s okay,” she reaches out to hold his gently in hers. “You can pick me up and drive me home all the time if it makes you feel better?” 

“You’ve gotta want to spend time with me too,” he places his other hand on top of hers. “Don’t feel like you have to be nice to me, little miss I’m nice to everyone.” 

“I am,” she feels offended. “I know you’re not stupid, you’ve gotta see I love spending time with you.” 

“I like to hear you say it, sue me,” he smiles, his eyes flicking back and forth between her eyes and her lips. He’s so close to her already that he could kiss her. 

But then he’d get her sick. 

So he pulls back a bit and pats her hand as her grip loosens. “Let’s get you home.” 

“Yeah,” she settles into her seat and puts on her seatbelt, he waits for the click and then he’s off, taking the familiar route back to her place. 

He asks her about her day, what they did, and how they’re doing without him. She missed him, he can tell by the way she complains about being partnered with someone new. “They didn’t do anything the way you do, it felt so wrong.” 

She thinks I do things the right way…

His heart soars the whole ride and then it ends too soon. He parks at the curb with a sigh, “I’m going to be up for a bit if you want to call me?” 

“You don’t want to come in?” 

He shakes his head, “I can’t get my germs all over your place.” 

“Right, no I get it,” she understands, but she lingers. He stares at him for a sec, “walk me to my door at least?” 

“Sure,” he can’t say no to her. 

She stays put this time, he runs around to her door and opens it, expecting her to jump right out but she pulls him close, using her height in the seat to her advantage. She touches his forehead gently, “you’re not fevered today, that’s good at least… I’d hate to miss another week with you.” 

“I’ll come get you tomorrow, but I’m not working,” he compromises, knowing he hates not getting to see her too. 

She hops out of the van and takes his hand on the way up to her door, “I could get used to this treatment.” 

“You should,” he agrees. “Cause I’m not giving up.” 

In sickness and in health and all that jazz… he’d be there through it all if she wanted him. 

At her door, she gives him those same eyes as in the van, and he wants to kiss her so goddamn bad but he can’t. He simply pulls her into a hug and holds her tight, cheek pressed to the top of her head. She holds him around the middle just as tightly, it's a beautiful goodbye for a couple of friends. 

—

He comes to pick her up for her next shift once again, only this time he pulls her into a hug at the door and kisses the top of her head, “hey, sweetheart, ready for work?” 

She can only nod against him, soaking in the hug as long as she can get. “What was that for?” She asks as he pulls back. 

He shrugs, “just cause… I missed you, I guess.” 

“I missed you, too,” she wraps her arm around his middle and holds him close as she joins him on the walk back to his van. “Which is funny 'cause we’ve been talking more than ever, lately.” 

“I know,” he loved it and it was evident in his voice. 

Every night that she’s not working they talk on the phone, from the time she’s done with her classwork until he has to leave for his night shifts. It was a lovely little tradition now, he loved to learn about all her projects and reports, and he even let her read things over for his opinion. More than once he’s called her a genius, but the best thing he’s ever said to her was “your future kiddos are going to love you.” In regard to the class of students, she was going to teach one day. 

It’s a day like any other, they have little conversations on their way to work, clock in together and head right to the first aisle on their to-do list. He dances around to the music, they toss things at each other, he makes dirty jokes, and she shakes her head with so much love you could see hearts float around her head. It’s so completely normal. 

And then she almost drops a whole shelf on herself, he’s quick to swoop in and catch it for her. They put it back in place and carefully let it go, making sure it stays put before she turns to thank him… only he’s about an inch, maybe two from her face. 

“That was a close one,” he whispers, staring at her lips. “Would hate to lose you to the soup aisle.” 

She can’t help staring back at his lips, wanting to kiss him so goddamn bad she forgets how to breathe for a moment. It’s like time stops while she stares at him and he stares back. 

“I’d hate to lose you at all…” 

“Why?” Even she’s surprised to hear it come out of her. 

He doesn’t say anything, he simply leans in more, and so does she. Meeting him halfway, their lips touch slowly and then all at once. A hand of his cups her face, holding her in place while she holds his sides, pulling him closer so their chests are pressed together. 

Breathing each other in deeply, she feels her soul intertwine with his at that moment. Everything makes sense. She was supposed to take this little job and spend all this time with him for this moment right here. It was always supposed to happen. 

They were meant to happen. 

They pull away with a matching smile, giggling as they come to terms with the fact that just happened… it finally happened. 

“You understand what I mean, right?” He teases. 

She nods, “yeah… I get it, but could you say it just one more time?” 

“Here?” He teases, kissing her cheek. “Or here?” He kisses her jaw next and moves towards her ear, “I could say it all over you if you let me.” 

“We’re still at work,” she reminds him, pushing him away slightly before he could kiss her neck and start something he couldn’t finish in the freaking soup aisle. 

“Do you want to come over later? To kiss a bit and read more lord of the rings?” He offers, making it sound a lot more innocent than either of them wanted it to be. 

“Only if you read the chapter this time,” she teases, heart racing in her chest at the prospect of being alone with him. 

Him. 

The one and the only crush she’s had for the last 6 years of her life. 

He flirts with her more than ever after that, he steals kisses every time he passes her and even serenades the love songs on the speaker to her. She pokes his sides when she passes by him, learning that he’s ticklish and he yelps every time she does it. 

In his van on the way home, after not being able to keep their hands off each other most of the night, they have to so he can focus on the road. 

“Does this make us more than friends?” She wonders aloud, hoping he had the same worry. 

He nods, “I’d hope so… but if you want me to ask, I can?” 

He holds her hand in the middle of the centre console again, rubbing his thumb over her hand gently. 

“What if I want to do it?” She teases. “I want to make you my boyfriend, I’ve thought about it for years.” 

“That’s crazy,” he can’t believe it, shaking his head as he drives a bit faster, wanting to be home with her so bad. 

“Why?” She sounds so defeated. 

“I never thought you liked me, I thought you were just really smiley… you could’ve been mine this whole time,” he explains just how crazy it was for him. In a very good way. 

“I can’t even imagine having a boyfriend in high school,” she admits. 

He slows down when he enters the trailer park, follows the poorly plowed path towards his own trailer and parks. Finally turning to her again with a smile, “I’ve never had a girlfriend before either, it’s all really new to me too.” 

“Was that your first kiss too?” She whispers, scared that it wasn’t. 

She was right. 

He shakes his head, “Cheryl Lenetti in grade 7… she liked to pet my head when we made out, she said my hair felt like a seal pup when it was shaved. So fuckin weird.” 

It makes her laugh a bit, “I can’t imagine it short…” 

“I’ve got pictures,” he assures her, “Wayne’s kept all my life well documented. He likes to tease me and say that he’ll sell the embarrassing ones to the tabloids when my band blows up.” 

“I need to see them,” she agrees and lets go of his hand finally, reaching for her door but once again, Eddie rushes out to beat her to it like a bat out of hell. 

She shakes her head with an affectionate smile, taking his hand again once outside and carefully treating through the lightly shovelled snow leading up to his trailer. He helps her out of her coat and hangs it up for her, leaving her to kick off her boots and awkwardly stand in his main room. It’s a lot more put together than the last time he visited. like he planned to invite her over, so it was clean this time. 

“You want anything to eat?” 

She shakes her head, “no… honestly I’m too nervous to eat anything right now.” 

“Oh, why?” He moves into her space, hands on her shoulders, slipping down her arms while pulling her in closer. 

“You’re handsome and you want to kiss me and I have no idea what I’m doing and— and,” she stops with a sigh and a shrug. 

“You’re so fucking cute,” he says with so much affection his smile makes his cheeks hurt. His eyes glisten back at her, and he shakes his head ever so slightly, amazed that she likes him back this much. “You don’t need to be nervous, there’s nothing you could do that would make me stop liking you at this point.” 

She takes the plunge this time, she presses her lips against his, holding his waist she wraps her arms around his back and holds him there. He’s shocked at first and then he settles, hand coming up to cup her face as he kisses back. She’s not completely sure what she’s doing, but she’s seen enough movies to imitate what she’s seen. He smiles into the 4th or 5th peck she presses to his lips and pulls back. 

“Do you want to go sit down?” 

“Like in your room?” 

“If you want?” 

She nods, cautious as ever but she wants to spend the whole night kissing him. He walks her down the hallway, into his dark room where he flicks on his side table lamp to show off his perfectly made bed and clean-ish room. “Welcome back,” he teases. 

“You planned this,” she calls him out. “Did you know you were going to kiss me at work today?”

“Not at all,” he assures her, taking a seat on the edge of his bed. Legs spread so she could stand between them, and she brushes her hands through his hair while he looks up at her. “I was going to ask you to come over, yeah, but kissing you was a surprise to me too… I like you so much it’s fucking crazy.” 

“I like you just as much,” she leans in, bumping their noses together with a smile. “You want to teach me how to make out?” 

He laughs, scooting up to the head of the bed, resting against the headrest, “you want to lie down or sit in my lap, or what?” 

“Um,” she bites her lip, deciding to be daring, she kneels on the bed and straddles his lap. “This is good, right?” 

“Absolutely,” he rests his hands on her hips, smoothing his thumbs over the fabric of her pants. “I just want you to be comfortable, princess.” 

She rests her forearms on his shoulders, hands in his hair, and she brushes his bangs out of his face to get a good look in his eyes. His big beautiful chocolate brown eyes that she loves so fucking much. “You’re so pretty,” she whispers. “Has anyone ever told you that?” 

He shakes his head lightly, “no…”

“There,” she smiles. “You get my first kiss and I get to tell you how pretty you are—

“You can have all my other firsts too,” he whispers, selling his soul to her in the way he stares at her. She knows he’s giving all of himself to her at that moment. “You can have all of me.” 

“I— I uh, I think we can start with kissing,” she frightens right up again. 

“Sorry,” he runs his hands up her back gently, “I’m not expecting anything… I just wanted you to know there’s a lot I haven’t done with anyone either, I’m just as new to this. We’re on the same level.” 

“Not yet,” she finally leans in for another kiss, holding his face in her hands to keep herself steady more than anything.

He licks at her bottom lip, it’s strange but she follows his lead, coming back in with an open mouth their tongues touch for a moment and then he sucks on her tongue. Again and again, they both come back in, exploring each other's mouths while his hands trail up and down her back and she plays with his hair once again. 

She doesn’t mean to grind against him, but her hips take over like they have a mind of their own as the pace and rhythm are set with through tongues. He moans into her mouth, pulling back with a shade of embarrassment painted across his cheeks. “sorry…” 

“It’s fine,” she’s a little breathless, so enamoured with him. 

He stares back at her fondly, taking in how cute she looked with lust-blown eyes and swollen lips, he smiles, “you’re good at this…” 

“Feels like it,” she teases, making him think she can feel how hard he’s getting under her and he panics. 

“You don’t have to sit on me if it’s uncomfortable, I did’t mean to—

“To what?” 

“Get hard…” he whispers, “it’s embarrassing.”

“Oh,” she hovers and looks down between them, more turned on, herself, than she realized, as well. “Oh.”

Maybe I am ready to do this…

She settles back down against him and shakes her head, “no, I’m not uncomfortable… it— it’s nice to know I did that, actually.” 

“Can I just—“ he reaches between them and adjusts himself because it was a bit uncomfortable for him, he was hanging to the left and thats where her thigh was rested, and now he’s right under her… “sorry, it hurt a bit.” 

“Sorry,” her cheeks heat up, she can feel his girth through his jeans, she has to fight every single urge not to grind down against him again, but she knows it would feel good. 

For both of them. 

“It’s okay, kiss me again?” He begs, pulling her closer. 

Their lips collide again but with much more passion and need this time, knowing what she’s doing a bit better, she’s all over him this round. Biting his lip, making him whine, tugging on his hair, she grinds against him again, not so by accident because his hands on his hips help glide her over himself perfectly. She does it again this time, he gasps into the kiss and rests his forehead against hers as she does it again and again, dragging her hot core over his aching, clothed, cock. There’s so much friction from their jeans, they feel like total fucking teenagers dry humping in his bed like they can’t get enough of each other. 

He kisses her jaw and down her neck, he sucks on her pulse point which makes her moan, it's so sweet and sexy that his cock twitches under his jeans in response. She feels it and whines, wanting more from him but not knowing what… it feels so fucking good she wants to just say fuck it and let him take her right here and now, but she’s still scared. 

She grinds down a bit harder, the seam of her pants rubbing against her clit just right. “Oh my god,” she’s so out of breath, it feels too good. 

“I’m gonna cum in my jeans if you keep this up,” he warns her, breathing against her neck between kisses. 

“Me too,” she assures him, doing it again and again, she tugs on his hair to bring his mouth back to hers, wanting to be kissing him when it happens. 

His hips come up to meet hers, his hands on her ass this time so he can help her press against him as hard as she can each time she grinds down against him. Her legs tremble a bit, his breathing sputters, and they’re a completely sweaty mess with too many clothes on. 

She feels the all too familiar heat build in her stomach and spread throughout her body as she cums with a long drawn-out sigh, which ends more like a moan as he finishes underneath her. His grip on her ass tightens, and he groans deeply as his hips sputter under her, their foreheads resting together as they catch their breath, eyes still closed. 

She feels so weightless and free, resting her head on his shoulder instead and cuddling into his chest. “Oh my god?” 

His chest still rising and falling heavily, he laughs slightly, “wasn’t expecting that.” 

“Me either…” she sighs, playing with the hair at the nape of his neck. “But I liked it.” 

“Me too,” he can’t help but smile. His hands roam all over her back, holding her close and soaking up the moment as long as he can. “You wanna stay here tonight?” 

She nods against him, not at all ready to leave his side. “I would love to.” 

Slowly but surely, they get up, he lets her use the bathroom first, giving her some boxers of his and a t-shirt to wear when she comes back out. He changes quickly in his room, hiding all the evidence of what happened in his dirty laundry hamper. He matches her in a new pair of underwear and the same shirt from before, smiling when she comes back into his room with her things in her hands. She rests them on his dresser, she’d have to wear them again tomorrow when she goes home. 

“You’re so cute in my things,” he compliments her, wrapping her up in his arms and kissing her forehead a few times. 

“Thanks,” she giggles, completely blown away still that this is all real and he’s her’s and it’s happening. 

They get into bed, and she snuggles into him the same way he did with her just last week with the lord of the rings. It’s cute, it feels right, and she feels at home in his arms. He runs his hands over her back. He kisses the top of her head a few times, she plays with the hem of his shirt in her hands and eventually slips her hands under his shirt to play with the slight dusting of hair on his tummy. They’re so content together it’s like they’ve always been this close. 

And they always would be too. 

part two

General Taglist 

@ncsls0515 @stevesmunsons @reidsbookclub @sweetyyhippyy @manuosorioh @mrs-dr-reid @k-k0129 @eddiemunson-rp @squishyturtle 

Eddie

@fightingdragonswithwho @kyomito @reidselle @venomsvl @nomajdetective @girl-with-an-orange-cat @blairscott @princesseddie 

@idkidknemore @eddiethesexy

[lovinpelova]

try it out | j. fleming

summary; if jessie likes your hobbies, you should like hers.

🎵 jackie and wilson - hozier

since you were a little kid you've loved lego, it's just common for children to adore it and want as much as possible until they reach a certain age and decide to throw it out instead of letting it grow dusty on their shelves. you were the opposite to other kids, keeping up with the so-called obsession and spending a fair amount of money on it, hating the idea of making new things yourself and opting to stay with the sets lego would release often. your favourite type of lego set to build was the cars, they were just so cute and didn't take up too much of your day, giving you something to focus on and use to calm down in your free time.

jessie loved your adoration of lego. she found it adorable how you'd get excited when you saw a new set you wanted and bought it almost immediately after a moment of contemplation about the price, the canadian knowing you'd always end up getting it anyways. she'd bought you a new lego set for christmas, a massive white porsche 911 that clearly wouldn't have been cheap due to the size, you complained about the inevitable price but she waved you off with the claim of your smile being worth much more when you saw it and thanked her.

now you were finally getting around to building it and would need help no matter how much you hated to admit it. the bigger sets always got the best of you and you'd either do it wrong or be unable to find a piece you needed, so jessie decided to help out. it was going well so far, sitting comfortably on the living room floor as she'd help you put pieces in place and hand you the odd one you were struggling to find, other than that she would sit and watch in awe as you concentrated more than she'd ever seen- even in training you'd never been this focused.

"since i'm helping you with your hobby, would you wanna try one of mine when we've finished this?"

you looked up momentarily to figure out what she meant before going back to pushing the lego pieces together, finally understanding jessie's question.

"as long as it's not hockey or photography, you know how i am with those two."

"don't worry babe, it's neither of them. i was thinking maybe you'd wanna try painting for the first time?"

jessie handed you a lego piece you were struggling to find for the next step, yourself smiling in thanks and leaning over to kiss her cheek softly as you took it out of her hand.

"yeah, why not? i am pretty bad at painting though, just to warn you."

"you're only bad at painting if you're not fully focused. you'll have me to help out too!"

after another couple hours of piecing together your new lego set you'd finally finished it, looking down in pride alongside jessie as you high-fived to celebrate finally being able to get rid of the hip cramp from how you were sat.

"okay, you go find a place for that whilst i get the stuff for painting yeah?"

"okay baby."

you smiled in response before setting off upstairs and finding your lego shelf, having to move a few things about before you could fit the massive model. looking at it in pride one last time, you set off downstairs to find jessie laying out paints and brushes alongside two canvases next to each other, the canadian opting to sit across from you rather than next to you so you wouldn't get paint on each other.

"oh this is gonna be fun!"

you stated excitedly as jessie grinned at your enthusiasm for her hobby, glad you share an aptitude in exploring each others interests. you sat down across from jessie and picked up a pencil like she did, noticing the small smile she wore once she realised you were copying her in fear of doing anything wrong.

"what are we painting then?"

your question sent jessie deep into thought for a moment as she looked around the room for ideas.

"oh! i've got it. how about we paint what we think the other would be if we were animals but don't tell each other? you know, like a guessing game."

"that's such a cute idea! i'm not sure how i'm gonna draw my animal though."

"just google a picture, you'll be fine baby."

you grabbed your phone and googled 'moose' to remember what they even look like, realising you'd gotten yourself into trouble choosing this animal but it was too late now. you stood your canvas up on the small easel jessie had brought over for you just like she did with her own, making sure she couldn't see when you drew the first couple lines and it immediately went wrong. deciding to commit and feeling it might get better as you draw more, you continued the outline of your moose and it gradually got better, it wasn't the best but it was certainly a lot easier to make out than when you first started a couple minutes ago.

once you'd finished with your outline you grew weary of the painting part, knowing you'd have to get it over and done with otherwise you'd be drawing instead. you grabbed the colours you needed and set them out on a small palette, getting to work on painting the moose and being surprised by how easy it was, deciding to even paint in the background as one that looks like the boreal forest in canada whenever it snowed. jessie was finishing up her painting by now and seemed very proud of it just the same as you, adding a couple finishing touches and putting down her paintbrush a couple minutes before yourself.

"you ready?"

she asked as you stood up in front of your canvases, nodding your head in response. eager to show your work and getting a nod from jessie once she saw your excitement, you turned around your easel and watched her jaw drop in amazement.

"oh my god, baby that's the most beautiful painting i've ever seen. and you think i'm a moose! god i love you so much, you're so good at this!"

"it's mediocre, jess- and of course i think you're a moose! they're all you ever talk about. i need to see what animal i am though, the suspense is killing me."

jessie snapped out of her amazement and grinned down at her painting for a moment before spinning the easel around, showing you a stunning painting of an elephant in the african outback, a beautiful sunset along the background.

"before you take it wrong, i chose an elephant because you're so gentle and caring. you know how nice they can be."

jessie shyly explained as you grinned in appreciation, admiring the painting for a couple more moments before stepping forwards and pulling her into a soft kiss.

"it's almost as beautiful as you jess."

"alright playboy, stop trying to flatter me just so you can get my art for free."

"oh i had to pay hm?"

you teased, jessie nodding her head in response as you smiled at each other and turned towards your paintings.

"of course, artwork like that doesn't come for free. i reckon around three hundred quid."

"i'm selling mine for that amount too, maybe we can swap and call it even?"

"good idea, i want your signature too though."

you quickly grabbed a pencil and signed your painting in a blank area, jessie doing the same with hers as you swapped paintings and shook each others hands.

"pleasure doing business with you."

"but of course."

the brunette laughed with you and leaned forward for a soft kiss, both of you pulling away not long after to clear up all the paints and brushes before looking around the house for a perfect spot. you eventually found one right above your shared bed, the moose being hung up above jessie's side and elephant hung up above yours, like a little inside joke.

[kerubimcrepin]

LIVEBLOG: Wakfu Season 4, Episode 2 [PART 2]

Every time someone says this in this franchise, you should immediately raise 20 red flags because one of the reoccurring themes is "by thinking that you're good and that your intentions are good, so whatever you do is good, you doom yourself to doing evil" or something.

THERE IS SO MUCH TO TALK ABOUT HERE....

He's standing on his toes. For some reason, he did not want to take, idk... something to stand on.

The place is still a grabage dump. He's still the good old Jojo we know.

He has a lot more books. Also, quite conspicuously, the shelf that has them shields what used to be his wall of celebrity posters and drawings. lol.

So many plushies... on one hand, it's so cute. The facade of professionalism he had before we knew him well is long gone by now. On the other hand, when coupled with the general infantilization of him by Kerubim and Atcham, it kinda.... feels bad.

He has a new ladder for his bed that doesn't have splinters and rusty nails sticking out of it. He probably bought it himself due to there being No Hope in Kerubim Crepin.

Also, his hobby of cartography is acknowledged once more, considering the parchments that are lying everywhere.

Another thing that feels Vaguely Bad is that we've come a long way from "I'M NOT A KID ANYMORE, STOP TREATING ME LIKE THIS, STOP CALLING ME JOJO!" to "I don't give a shit anymore. Call me anything you want... feels kinda nice too... :)"

The brain poisoning is so major with Joris. No hope for him.

Anyway, it's funny that they just call Ush The Sleazebag. Implies he's a thorn in their side enough of the time for them to actually have a nickname.

God, his room is so trashy. He's just like me fr....

"Let's kill Tot with Hammers" moment #3: They forgor to animate his mouth... where did they even PUT all that money they saved by reusing art made for the movie.

I'm pretty sure that there's like, some translation mistakes here.

This is what he says in French: "Is your dealings/drama/beef with the Sibllings over?" and technically this translation is correct... but, the phrasing of the translation is misleading.

There are two brotherhoods in the series: the forgotten, and of tofu. But in French the words used for both are different: La Confrérie du Tofu, and La Fratrie des Oubliés.

So I am 80% sure what Joris is actually asking is, "Are you finished with the Brotherhood of the Forgotten? Or are you here to fight me?"

When Ush responds with "it all died down" he's kinda making a joke about Oropo, and their whole group being... yeah. fdjgskdfg. And the translation of this line is also not really conveying it.

This is why Joris continues by confirming that Ush isn't involved.

If Ush is no longer a part of a doomsday cult, then he's probably not a danger or connected to this.

He gets so heated once Yugo is mentioned... I am once again reminding you, that Joris likes Yugo a lot.

In this shot, there on the shelf, we can see the woven basket cat bed that Joris slept in as a child and which migrated to be a basket for clothes in the movie after he actually got a real bed.

The Ush grindset:

Come to Joris's house to say that the guy he's parasocially besties with is sus and that his mom hurt the 12 gods. Say you won't get involved & don't give a shit. Leave.

Yeah, yeah, Ush is a bontarian, he likes being heroic and doesn't want the world to be destroyed or something, but it was also 100% some sort of a fucky-wucky mindgame against Joris.

[mooodyblue]

Can you write something about little reader? I just bought myself a new stuff animal and I bought it when I felt little but now that I'm big I'm trying to convince myself I didn't need it. I feel like elvis wouldn't let me convince myself of that

ty for the request! u enjoy that plushie !! u don't have to be little to enjoy plushies that's for sure ❤️

pairing: cg!elvis x gn!little!reader

wc: 841

➸ masterlist

it was one of those weeks where you just wanted to curl up in bed and hide away, hug a plushie and cry. you didn't want to call your boyfriend or anyone, just you and your fuzzy friends alone.

unfortunately, you couldn't do that. you knew it wouldn't be healthy to isolate yourself so you coped in a way you knew best—buying yourself a little something to cheer yourself up. you’d been feeling awfully small lately, but had been masking it quite well to so your big activities, although you did come home and occasionally slip a paci in your mouth to calm yourself down.

you were still feeling little when you walked into the store, putting on a brave face as you looked around to find something to treat yourself to. a snack? juice? maybe a coloring book or a toy.

but then you locked eyes with a large panda bear sitting lazily on the top shelf. your eyes widened, staring at it in awe. without a second thought—you picked it up, tossing it over your shoulder and hurled it to the cashier to buy it. you deserved it, you had a bad week so it's okay to splurge every once in awhile.

until a few hours later when you weren't feeling so little anymore. the guilt of spending money on something you clearly didn't need was eating you alive as it sat in your living room, taking up space.

you were with elvis, catching up on his tour antics as he had just returned from a week run. it was good to have his presence back in your life, it was much needed. but as he was talking, he couldn't help but lock eyes with the big panda bear behind you, chuckling softly. “now who's that guy?” he asked, pointing at it.

you turned around, blushing at the bear and shaking your head as you turned back to elvis. “ah…i-i kinda thought it when i was…you know.” you replied shyly, “i might take it back.”

“what?!” elvis gasped, “why in the world would you return it?”

you couldn't hide the look of guilt on your face, sighing. “i don't know, elvis…i just…i don't really need it, do i? i’ve got enough, you're always buying me plushies too—”

“baby, c'mon.” he stopped you from finishing your sentence. “tell me somethin’...” he sat up a bit, looking at you sternly. “did you feel happy when you bought him?”

“w-well…yes. i was excited to bring him home.” you nodded.

“how do you feel about him right now?”

the panda bear just sat on a lounge chair, the fuzzy animal just staring into space. you frowned looking at it, “guilty because it was a waste of money.”

elvis let out a hmph and shook his head, “what about when you're feelin’ tiny?”

your eyes lit up a bit, “i like looking at him. he’s fuzzy and i like that he's big. he's soft and i can rest my head on him when im watching cartoons or i can rest on him when i’m coloring….he's fun to hug.”

he grinned widely, “see, baby. it ain't no waste. it makes little you happy. anyway, plushies are for everyone, ain't that right?”

you scoffed. “elvis, you know that's not true.”

“baby, i slept with the same damn teddy bear my whole life. if i ain't huggin' you in bed, i sure as hell ain’t huggin' no pillow—stuffed animals are more fun to hug.” he laughed. “ya know how many people on this earth are probably grown and sleepin’ with a lil’ bear or-or stuffed elephant by their side? it ain't just you.”

he had a point. you had friends who slept with plushies too. there were collectible plushies too, what makes you having a random panda bear any different? it makes you happy, it made you happy when you bought it—what makes it any different now?

before you could open your mouth, elvis took the bear into his lap, hiding himself behind it as he moved it’s tiny arms. “please don't take me back!” he spoke in a deeper voice, voicing the panda. “it’ll break my big ol’ heart!”

you giggled softly, “elvis!”

“i ain't elvis!” he spoke, moving the arms, “you takin’ me back? huh? or are we gonna have a problem?”

the sight of elvis’s face peeking from behind the bear raising an eyebrow made you laugh even more, “okay! okay! i won't take you back. i don't wanna make you sad!”

elvis crept from behind the bear, “ya hear that! you get to stay!” he said excitedly, “now give 'im a big hug, baby. he deserves it.”

you hugged the plushie, bringing it to to your lap and keeping a tight hold to it.

“okay, that's enough. my turn.” elvis opened his arms, taking pride in convincing you to keep the bear.

you giggled and shook your head, gripping to the plushie tighter.

he gasped dramatically, putting his hand on his hips. now he was really regretting letting you keep that bear.

[marlynnofmany]

Troublemakers and Pestcatchers

I had just finished saying “Don’t let her claw you,” when the cat’s paw connected with the waving head frills of my crewmate.

“Ow, that’s sharp!” Blip exclaimed, pulling her head back to a safe distance while her brother pointed and laughed. I didn’t see any blood, so that was good.

“I did mention the claws,” I said patiently, adjusting my hold on the barely-a-kitten who was intensely fascinated by all the motion in the hallway. I’d brought her out with harness and leash, taking turns acclimating the cats to more than just my room on the ship. So far they were doing well. Only clawing the really tempting stuff.

“You should know better than that!” Blop said, waggling his own fins from a safe distance. He made broad gestures with both arms, filling the space with muscles and flowy blue silks. “Don’t stick your face next to the tiny predator!”

“It didn’t hurt before!” Blip objected. She folded beefy arms in indignance, stepping farther away when this earned another swipe at her sleeve.

I caught the kitten’s paw and gave it a gentle squeeze. “The claws only stick out when they want them to,” I said. “See?”

The Frillian twins crowded close despite everything, and were quietly impressed. I let up on the squeezing but kept hold of the paw. When the twins stepped back, I stroked the kitten and murmured praises for holding still.

This one was my favorite, not that I would admit such a thing when the plans were clear that I had to find homes for all of them soon. I’d made sure to give them simple names for the most part, since their new humans would likely rename them. While the mom cat was Tapestry and the gray one was Mimi (named after our engineer), the others got names like Cloudy, Classy, and Casserole.

This one was Telly. Short for Teleporter Malfunction. Because she was one of the very few chimera cats I’d met in person: her face was a perfect split between orange with a golden eye, and black with a piercing blue eye. The rest of her fur was a fascinating mix of the two. I’d explained the rarity of embryos fusing in the womb to more than one alien crewmate, but none of them seemed to appreciate the striking beauty. All the cats were weird little predators to them.

“Have you found homes for more yet?” Blop asked. “There’s not many humans at this stop, but maybe at the next?”

I nodded. “I called ahead to put the word out to somebody I know, and I may have a taker for a couple at once at the big station. Soon I won’t have to kitten-proof my quarters anymore.”

“Have they fallen on your face while you sleep?” Blip asked with a grin.

“No,” I said, “Because I put a proper shelf there, instead of just the pipes. And more shelves so they can climb up without knocking anything off the wall.”

Blip nodded. “Wise.”

The intercom binged at that point, with the captain calling me specifically to help load up our next cargo. She didn’t specify why, but we all knew. I was the animal expert. This cargo had hooves.

“Have fun!” Blop said.

“Best of luck!” Blip added.

“Thanks,” I said. “C’mon Telly, back to the room with you.” I took my leave and returned the kitten to her family, most of whom were napping on my bed, then I hurried off to the cargo bay.

It was space goats again. Not the exact same ones, thankfully, since those had been masterful escape artists, but only time would tell if these were just as bad.

At least there’s only three of them, I thought as I joined Captain Sunlight and Mur. It sure would be nice if somebody provided their own livestock carrier, though. Mur was holding three leashes in three different tentacles, looking like a particularly grumpy squid while the captain finished signing for the delivery. The space goats ambled in circles, sticking their long necks in every direction and fondling anything within reach with the field of orange tentacles on their backs. It still looked like fur at a glance, even though I knew better. A very confusing glance.

“It’s a pleasure doing business with you,” said Captain Sunlight with a nod of her scaly yellow face. The delivery person, another Heatseeker with green scales, nodded back and took his leave. “Say hi to the family for me!” Captain Sunlight called after him. He waved. She hit the button to shut the cargo hatch.

It was a bit loud in closing, and the three goats immediately sent up a chorus of whining bleats that echoed through the ship.

Captain Sunlight’s tail drooped. “This is going to be a long trip,” she said. “Let’s get them to the pen. Are the vent covers still in place?”

“Oh yes,” Mur said firmly. “Fused the bars myself. And I checked the camera too.”

“Good,” said the captain.

“Here’s to a trip with no shenanigans,” I said. “Do you want me to carry the supplies?” I gestured to the box of food with a red ball that looked like a dog toy on top.

“I’ll handle those.” Mur thrust the leashes toward me. “You take these. I’m tired of being licked.”

I couldn’t argue that. My reach was longer and so were my legs; these beasties were small bundles of trouble. And of course they didn’t want to go. Not when they could do a maypole tangle of leashes around my legs instead.

“Is that an enrichment toy, by any chance?” I asked, stepping over yet another leash.

Captain Sunlight plucked it off the box and held it out to me. Definitely a dog toy. I held all three leashes tightly in one hand long enough to toss it down the hall. “Hey goats! Fetch!”

Tangled leashes or not, they ran for it. I did my best to keep up, with Mur and Captain Sunlight following behind me, trusting that I knew what I was doing.

I was definitely making some of this up as I went, but they didn’t need to know that. Alien creatures or not, these were still animals, and I knew animals. Reasonably well.

The ball rolled to a stop before we reached the right storage hold, and I managed to hold the goats back long enough to elbow the door-opener button, then kick the ball through. They bounced in eagerly, rebounding off three crates and getting more excited by the second.

While two of them were having a hilarious tentacle slapfight over the ball, and the other was chewing on it, I got the door open to the large clear pen that dominated the room. A nudge of the ball with one shoe was enough to get everybody moving into it. Throwing dignity to the winds, I knelt by the door, holding it mostly shut with one knee, but open enough for my arms to fit through and unhook the leashes. The goats bounced in excitement. None tried to climb my face to freedom, and I shut the door in triumph.

“Success!” I announced to Mur, holding the leashes up.

“Well done,” he said. “You get to put those back on when it’s time to offload them.”

“Ugh,” was all I had to say to that.

Mur chuckled as he stowed the box of food in a low cubby. “You know, the nicer models of that pen come with an airlock.”

“And they cost as much as a new set of thrusters,” said Captain Sunlight from the door. “Good thing we’ve got you to stand at the ready with a capture net instead, right?”

Mur sighed. “I look forward to it.”

The rubber ball thwapped against the wall of the pen, followed by tiny hooves. I turned see that these three had picked up the knack of skating across the anti-climb surface even faster than the last ones had. “Quick learners,” I said.

Mur just sighed again.

“I’ll keep an eye on that camera from the cockpit,” said Captain Sunlight. “Be ready to come running if they pry the bars off or something.”

“They will not,” Mur said, jabbing a tentacle in the direction of the goats, as if they were listening instead of enacting an elaborate low-grav roller derby.

“Here’s hoping,” I said. “Are we ready for takeoff?”

“Just about,” said the captain. “I’m going to check in with Kavlae now. We should be in the air soon.”

She left, and we followed, with the goats having a grand old time behind us. Blip and Blop peered through the open door in curiosity.

“That looks like a handful!” said Blip.

“Who spilled food?” asked Blop.

“What?” Mur demanded, spinning in place.

I spotted the pile of food pellets, right next to the bin Mur had just carried in.

Mur scowled. “That wasn’t leaking a minute ago.” He tentacle-walked over to glare down at the offending bin. Then he made a noise that was probably a swear word. It sounded more like a fart to my Earthling ears, but either way, it was rude in polite society.

And when I got close, I saw why. “Those are toothmarks,” I said.

“Toothmarks that appeared while we were standing here,” Mur said, pulling the box out and opening the lid just a crack. Nothing jumped out. He opened it all the way, then shut it and began looking through the cubbies. “Everybody grab a flashlight, and shut the door,” he instructed.

I hit the button while Blip and Blop hurried to a supply cabinet. “Any guess what we’re looking for? Is this station known for pests?”

Before Mur could answer, Blip called, “No, but they are!” She pointed at the space goats.

Learning something every day, I thought. “What kind?” I asked.

“Little fast things the same color as their backwhips.” Blip held her fingers apart for size. Dinky. “Grabbers for holding on, and they’re really good at chewing through stuff.”

“Great,” I said. “Hey, did we not scan these guys on acceptance?”

Mur shoved a crate aside, punctuating his sentences with effort. “No. Old client. Trusted friend. In a hurry. Gonna scan ‘em in the air. Never had a problem before!”

Blop shone a light into a far corner. “Captain’s gonna have strong words for that friend as soon as she hears.”

“Should we tell her now?” I asked.

“There!” shouted Blip, launching herself fist-first across the room to where something zipped along, an orangeish blur. She dealt the floor a mighty hammerblow with bodyslam to follow, but fell just inches shy. The thing scuttled to the door where it wriggled through a tiny gap that I hadn’t realized was there.

Blip pounded the floor again, then scrambled to the button that Mur was already pressing. Judging by the exclamations and lack of further violence, they didn’t see a trace of it out in the hall.

“Now we tell the captain,” Mur said. “I’ll go. Keep the door shut, and look for more.”

I looked back at the goats. “We should get Eggskin’s medscanner in here right away.”

“On it,” Blip said. She exchanged nods with her brother, then shut the door from outside.

Blop tossed me a flashlight. I caught it and started looking near the doorway. “I’m surprised there’s a gap here,” I said. “Did the door shut on something?” It looked slightly warped.

“There’s a long story to that,” Blop said, head in a cabinet. He stepped back and moved on. “But it can be summarized as ‘Pockap.’”

“Ah. Gotcha.” The former captain of this ship was an endless source of grievances even now. He’d probably wanted to run a power cord into the hall or something, and dented the door on purpose.

“There!” Blop yelled, then did a series of angry stomps the led to nothing more than probably some annoying echoes in the engine room. “Where’d it go?”

“I don’t see it,” I said, moving closer and shining my light around. The goats in the pen were bleating in excitement, but a glance showed them just watching us, which wasn’t helpful. “I’m pretty sure there’s a better way to do this.”

“Like what?” Blop asked.

Before I could explain my bright idea to him, Eggskin arrived with the medscanner that I hadn’t fully learned to use yet. Blip towered over the little Heatseeker, talking a mile a minute about the pests. Eggskin ignored her and went right for the pen, the picture of businesslike efficiency with booger-yellow scales. Eggskin was both the medic and the cook, very levelheaded.

“Hm. It’s a good thing this pen closes with a tighter seal than that door,” they said, nodding toward the entrance without looking away from the screen. “All three of them are carrying multiple external parasites.”

Various exclamations of displeasure filled the air just as Captain Sunlight joined us. “How many?” she asked as the door shut behind her.

“In this pen? Fourteen,” said Eggskin calmly. “Outside, I can’t say.”

“I saw one over there,” Blop rushed to say. “Plus the one the got out.”

“I’m pretty sure I saw it in the lounge as I passed,” said Blip, pointing to the right.

Mur said, “I feel like we would have noticed if any dropped off between here and the cargo bay.”

A distant shriek echoed from the hallway to the left. Paint yelled, “What was that?? There was a thing!”

Mur draped a tentacle over his face. “Or I could be wrong.”

I winced in sympathy, remembering Paint’s phobia of small scuttling things, and tendency to hyperventilate. “Do we have a way of catching these animals that I don’t know about?”

There was a heartbeat of silence, then Blip said “Smashing,” Blop said “Squishing” and Captain Sunlight said “Not a good one.”

“Next question,” I said, turning to Eggskin. “The medscanner has records from when we scanned the cats. Can you tell me if these pests would be toxic for them to eat? Or at least bite?”

There was a lot of conversation at that point, but I ignored most of it while Eggskin tapped buttons on the medscanner. They answered promptly. “Nontoxic. Assuming the cats don’t try to swallow any bones or such, I see no problems.”

“Excellent. Captain!” I turned and stood at attention. “Permission to put my roomful of tiny predators to their time-honored use.”

“With supervision, my permission is granted,” she said. “Just don’t make any new problems.”

“Understood! One room at a time, starting here.”

Captain Sunlight nodded. “Proceed. Everyone else, help by guiding the tiny predators, not by smashing.”

Blip and Blop grumbled, “Understood.”

“I can help narrow things down,” Eggskin said, waving the medscanner.

“I’ll check the camera records to see if I can spot when any jumped off,” Mur volunteered.

“And I’ll inform the rest of the crew,” said Captain Sunlight. “Blip and Blop, you guard the door to prevent any further spread of the problem.”

“On it!”

Everyone split and got to work. I returned to my room and scooped surprised kittens into the carrier with promises of exciting new toys to chase. They didn’t understand me, of course, but that had never stopped me before.

“You too, Mama Kitty,” I said to Tapestry as I lifted her from her nap spot on the bed. She protested sleepily, but there was enough space in the carrier for everyone.

I grabbed a bag of cat treats in case I needed bribes, then carried the awkward load back to the storage hold.

And there, I got to show my alien crewmates why humans had brought cats into their homes in the first place.

“Did you see that jump??” Blip exclaimed. “Right up the wall, then turning to land on its feet!”

“Oh, cats are masters at landing on their feet,” I said proudly.

A squeak and a scuffle behind a crate caught my attention, then Tapestry proudly trotted out with a small orange shape in her mouth. She dropped it in front of two kittens, who watched intensely. It wiggled, and she demonstrated pouncing technique.

They caught on quickly.

They also caught four of the pests in the storage hold, two in the lounge, one in the cargo bay, and five in the kitchen. And they found a pen someone had lost behind a table, batting it out into the open like the best of toys.

I doled out treats every time they caught something (ushering them away from decorations and electronics), and showered them with praise. All the crewmates were appreciative, even the ones like Trrili who had joked that the cats looked like food.

“Mighty predator,” Trrili said to Casserole, holding out the tip of her pincher arm to sniff. “You do your ancestors proud. And I hear you are skilled in attacking your human’s ankles with no warning; well done.”

I smiled. “This one’s a master of stealth, that’s for sure. Did I tell you about their larger cousins that have been known to kill humans by jumping out of trees at them from behind?”

“Magnificent,” said the terrifying bug alien, who was herself fond of jumping out at coworkers for fun.

“That they are,” I agreed.

Eggskin appeared at the doorway with the medscanner and did a sweep of the room. “All clear!” they announced. “I can safely say that every escaped pest on this ship has been dealt with.”

“What about those still on the hosts?” asked Captain Sunlight.

“I’ve administered a repellant to the animals in the holding pen,” Eggskin said. “To great success.”

“Did you need help keeping them from getting out the door?” I asked anxiously. “You could have called me.”

“Oh no, I just threw it in the vent,” Eggskin said. “It’s a gas thing. Perfect for this kind of pen, really, since it didn’t dissipate right away. All the pests loosened their hold, and got shaken off to the floor by some lively dancing by the host animals.”

“It wasn’t bad for them, right?” I asked.

“Not at all. Made for them. This is one of many things I keep on hand for animal cargos.” Eggskin turned to the captain. “We should bill the client for a replacement, by the way.”

“Oh yes,” Captain Sunlight said. “We will definitely be doing that.”

Something rolled past my foot that I recognized as one of Blip and Blop’s favorite shrimp sticks. A two-toned blur of fur tackled it and gnawed with vigor. Out in the hall, I heard Blip enthusing over another cat’s speed. We’d relaxed the “one room at a time” rule now that the whole crew had turned out to watch the kittens.

Telly trotted up to me with the shrimp stick in her mouth, showing off her catch. I scooped her up and gave her scritches, then held the stick for her to chew on.

“You know,” the captain said, “If for some reason it might be hard to find homes for all of them, it might not be a bad thing to have a pest-catcher onboard.”

I smiled. “They’ve certainly served my people well.”

“And they’re cute and fluffy? I understand that is a bonus.”

“Oh, for sure. One of the best.”

“Well then,” Captain Sunlight said. “See that they behave themselves, and who knows what the future holds?”

“I’ll keep a close eye on them,” I said, looking down at the kitten in my arms. It was definitely the shrimp dust, but she kind of winked at me. I winked back. I could see many good times ahead of us.

~~~

The ongoing backstory of the main character from this book. More to come!

[glazedsnail]

Ok so, I'm really close to finishing my small fanfic thing and I'm actually happy about how it turned out.

I didn't think of a title for it so I'll go with:

And Misery Loved Company

Title might and will change because I have absolutely no self control and no sense of permanence

I'll post it in chapters and stuff.

This first doesn't really work as a chapter but I thought I'd have to cut it somewhere and be able to give youse a taste?

So here's a sample.

TWs are for the whole work, not this particular sample sorry horns friends.

Stardew Valley fanfic ShanexOCFarmer(Female) 18+ swear words/substance misuse/explicit/suicide ideation/mention of abuse

I’ve been in this town for a few months, and already so much has happened.

I didn’t know the first thing about farming, and now look at me. I wear overalls, a straw hat, I use a pitchfork, sometimes. I have dirt on my hands, my knees, my legs, my arms, my ass. Everywhere really. 

I’m… Moderately successful in the matter of crops and sheep handlings. And I just know my quality wool will one day fetch a very high price on the shelf of some high end stores. If only I could handle those blasted sheep correctly. 

I wanted to give up, like I’d given up so many things before. So many times. But when I managed to spool my own skein of wool, from my very own sheep, I knew I had to keep at it. I cannot wait to start knitting with my very own wool. 

Trust me, this was an even better feeling than when I ate my first omelette made from the eggs of my own chickens. And I do love my chickens! 

Of course, I met a lot of new people. Marnie, for one, is my farm neighbour. She helped me shear my first sheep, and eased me into farm animals ownership. I had never owned anything bigger than a guinea pig. And that guinea pig wasn’t too fond of me anyway. She entrusted me with the care of two sheep and three chickens.

The man who came to deliver my chicks is her nephew. I had met him a handful of times. At the supermarket where he works, at Marnie’s ranch, as he apparently rents a room from her, but mostly at the saloon. We never talked much compared to the others. He wouldn’t let me, and I would let him. At the time.

He wanted to make sure I had a suitable home for the chicks. He didn’t seem too pleased to do the work, to be there, at all. I remember barely getting a “mornin’” when he came in, and he would certainly not stick around for coffee or a chit chat.

I mean, he was completely being his usual self. I wasn’t surprised. The only surprise was that I actually did put the kettle on just in case.

However, once he opened the crate, the man constantly frowning at the bottom of a glass, and who had quite literally told me to “fuck off” was somehow… beaming? He handled the chicks with such tenderness, it almost made me feel bad to buy them off. Suddenly, he was sharing his knowledge of chicken care, making sure I was ready, and showing some incredible kindness towards the three little chicks I had gotten from Marnie.

Everytime he was giving me the brush off, I would remember his kind eyes from that day, and it would give me enough drive to persevere. Maybe too much, definitely too much for his taste. I was persistent, perhaps annoying, absolutely intrusive. When I saw those caring eyes almost close forever, I witnessed the dormant strength hiding within, and I knew.

Today, I’m meeting him at the beach.

I made a pizza from my own flour, with sauce from my own tomatoes. Cheese and pepperoni are from Pierre’s, the grocer, but come on. The base is homemade therefore this is a homemade pizza. And who cares where I got the olive oil, salt, and yeast from…

I have been looking forward to this, hum, evening, I guess. I was going to say “date”. Surprisingly, we did kiss.

Moving to Grandpa’s old farm was in no way a scheme to get me on the dating scene again, not after everything in the city, not after 30. And certainly not with a man as rude as him. Crazy how things can change drastically with time.

The kiss was more a heat of the moment type of thing. I liked it. Though.

He wouldn’t have suggested this picnic at the beach if he wasn’t thinking the same.

I pack my homemade pizza, homegrown dried and fresh hot peppers, a pack of six, and some muffins I made with my own eggs, own flours, and my own seeds. It amazes me how good I am at this farm living thing. I hope Grandpa is watching. Mostly.

The air is still warm, but the leaves have started to fall. I smell the distinct perfume of rain in the distance. Here, so far, the slowly darkening afternoon sky is still clear.

I’m nervous. I feel something I could describe as…this high schooler heading to meet with their crush and spend some time alone for the first time. I gulp. This definitely rings somewhat familiar. I mean, I didn’t put on any of my best underwear though. I’m too old for this.

Damn. Listen to me.

I shake my head to get rid of those idiotic thoughts as I walk past the village waterhole. I wave at the villagers who have now become my friends. Emily points at my basket and I remind her of my dinner plan. She smiles with all her pearly whites while commanding me to wait. She shortly comes back out of the saloon with a mist up tupperware filled with warm pepper poppers, and a bottle of strawberry juice. My favourite.

‘Emily, you shouldn’t have!’

‘Oh Fern, please. It was also Gus’ idea. You must know all we want is the best for you.’ She grins.

‘Pardon?’

She laughs and disappears behind the wooden door. Well. She’s always been a bit of a nutcase. Affectionately though.

When I stand on the sand, I hear Shane over the rolling waves, calling me, and my nervousness instantly disappears. He’s still wearing his work hat, probably came here straight after work. He spreaded a blanket and had started dishing out a bunch of snacks from his bag.

‘Well, we won’t starve!’ I laugh, emptying my basket. As I sit down I see Shane glance at the glass bottle Emily gave me.

‘Is that strawberry juice?’

‘Yeah. Emily gave it to me on my way here. Look, she also gave me these! Compliment of Gus. They’re your favourite aren’t they?’

I smile so hard the corners of my mouth might crack. I’m just comfortable.

‘Y..Yeah’

He obviously is not.

‘Are you ok? What’s that you just rammed in your bag?’

‘Nothing. Is that homemade pizza?’

I’m way too proud to continue probing. I happily remove the cloth from the plate:

‘Pepperoni! Just like you like it.’

He smiles and chuckles, visibly embarrassed.

‘What’s the matter?’ I ask. He quickly glances at his bag. ‘Do you know you still have your work hat on?’

He looks up, grumbles, and removes his hat he tries to put in his bag. Bag now at my arm's length.

‘What are you hiding!’ I say, snatching the surprisingly heavy backpack from him.

‘Fern!’

I pull out two plastic bottles.

‘Joja strawberry juice?’

He quickly grabs his bag back in a groan.

‘But, why were you hiding it?’

‘I know it’s your favourite.’ He sighs. ‘Just wanted to, like, surprise you and be nice is all.’ He frowns, and blushes lightly. ‘I didn’t know this was such common knowledge, and now you’ve been given the nice stuff in a glass bottle and all you probably won’t want my Joja crap.’

I catch myself giggling.

‘What’s so funny?’ He snaps.

‘Shane, that’s incredibly sweet. Thank you.’ I cradle the bottles in my arms like the most cherished present. ‘You know I used to drink these all the time when I was a teen, I’ve not had any in ages. Truth be told I thought they were discontinued.’

He seems to relax a bit.

‘It’s full of crap’ he smiles ‘Maybe it’s gone in the city and they just get rid of it in small towns’.

‘No, they still sell Joja beer everywhere, trust me.’

We laugh, I’m glad he seems a bit more in the moment.

‘You know’ I start ‘Emily’s barmaid, it makes sense she’d know my favourite drink, right?’ He nods in acknowledgement ‘But, knowing your favourite dish? I should be the jealous one.’

His eyes open wide.

‘I…err… It’s not jealousy it’s’

‘I’m just teasing’ I say, gently elbowing him

‘I’m such an idiot.’ He says back, hand on the back of his neck, with a slight smile nonetheless.

‘You’re not an idiot. You’re cute.’

I hand him a slice of pizza I was busy cutting. His cheeks turn bright red and he tries to disappear in his hoodie. I clearly didn’t realise what I said. He eventually clears his throat and grabs the slice with a small ‘thank you’.

[stuffing-seattle]

Bunni’s Stuffing pt. 1

Bunni was nervous, and he saw this as she squirmed in the passenger seat. “What is it, baby?” He asked her. She pouted because she didn’t know exactly how to put it into words. She was nervous, but the good kind of nervous. Excited nervous, the way you get when you are in line for a roller coaster. “I asked you a question.” He said, a color of sharp discipline in his voice. “I don’t know where you are taking me, Daddy.” This was. A half-truth. She knew what she had done, and was sure they were on the way for him to deliver punishment. “Do you remember Daddy’s lunch in the fridge?”

“No.” She fibbed. He scoffed. “I bet you are it too fast to remember.” He scolded, eyeing her swollen tummy peaking out from her character-themed tank top. Bunni blushed and tried to pull the top further down to hide her belly, but it was no use. Even on an empty tummy, her naval now sat exposed by the shirt, and the rabbit that had once adjourned the chest looked more like a panda bear, due to the stretching. “Whether you remember or not,” Daddy’s words cut into her thoughts like a knife. “I had to go to work with no lunch yesterday. That must mean I’m not feeding you enough, so I wanted to make sure you got your fill.” There was a sadistic edge to his voice, and Bunni gulped as they pulled into the parking lot of the towns cheapest all-you-can-eat buffet.

As they stepped out of the car, he got to drink in her full figure. When they had first met she was a petite little thing. Rail-thin and no tits or ass to speak of. Bunni was a glutton for punishment though, and always found excuse after excuse to act up. Her Daddy, of course had to discipline her, and his constant discipline was apparent for the whole world to see now. Her Daddy’s dominance sat around her waist in a a beach ball sized slab of fat. Her thighs had pudged up and her tits and ass had simply exploded from the results of her bad behavior. This was evidenced by her ass cheeks comfortably hanging halfway out of her many-sized too small shorts, and the fact that her tits looked like a popped can of Pillsbury grands in virtually any top shelf wore.he had to restrain himself from bending her over in that parking lot and putting a baby in her right then and there. *Patience* He told himself. *That part comes later*

She could feel the stares of the other patrons as they entered the buffet. White hot shame rushed to her cheeks as she knew they were all thinking what a pig she was. An equally white hot sensation travelled from her over-plump belly and in between her thighs. God she couldn’t wait for her punishment. “Sit down.” Daddy commanded. She obeyed. “Now, you are going to sit here and eat every single plate I bring you. Hear me? Every. Single. One.” Bunni smirked at him, trying not to betray the fact that she was absolutely sopping wet under the table just at his words. “And what if I don’t?” She asked smugly. He didn’t answer. He only left to collect plates. Fuck. He didn’t take the bait. She knew that meant he was serious and not here to play games.

Daddy was not gone long, but even so, Bunni’s belly began to gurgle and groan. She laid a hand on her belly and tried to shush it. Just then, Daddy returned. He had a plate of every cut of fried chicken, three slices of pizza, and a half rack of ribs. “I heard your greedy belly gurgling from across the restaurant.” He teased. “This should be a good start.” She gulped at the word *start* but dutifully dug in to begin her meal.

She tore through the chicken like an animal, and finished off the pizzas in short order. It was only by the time reached the ribs that she began to slow down. Already her mouth was covered in grease, and the ghosts of fullness were beginning to press at her belly, though it still did not show through all her extra padding. “You need a bib little girl.” Daddy said to her. She stuck her tongue out at him. “Not too full to be sassy, I see. Well then I’m off for round two. I expect those ribs to be finished off by the time I get back.”

“Finish those ribs before I get back.” She mocked. She saw a twinge of annoyance in Daddy’s eyes, but still he said nothing and left to other more food. As soon as he was gone she dropped the act and rubbed her full tummy. He was going to absolutely destroy her later, and she just hoped she was able to cash the check that her smart ass kept writing.

Either way she got back to work and went at the ribs. Daddy had not gotten her any utensils, almost certainly as another small punishment. So he gnawed at the ribs, getting barbecue sauce and chunks of meat all over her mouth and dripping onto her ample chest. She had just taken her last bite when Daddy returned with her second round of food. This time a mountain of mashed potatoes, a roll of sushi, and two hamburgers with fries. As if reading her mind, he also brought with him two tall glasses of soda. “This is it?” She smiled weakly. “Not by a long shot baby girl. Now dig in.”

She tried not to let on how much that comment both shook her and made her legs quiver. Instead she drowned her feelings in the closest glass of soda. In less than ten seconds, she had guzzled down the drink. Lost for a moment in the ecstasy of the stuffing, and basking in her bloated belly, she forgot where she was for a moment. *BWWWOOOORRRRPPP* Bunni opened her eyes in horror as she realized that the whole restaurant had gone silent and everyone was looking at her with quizzical expressions. She apologized meekly, and Daddy smirked at her.

“You really want this whole restaurant to know how much of a hopeless pig you are, don’t you?” He said. She blushed even harder and the fire forming in her belly was getting harder to ignore. “Why don’t you go get my next course and make yourself useful?” She snapped in a bratty tone. “Hope your eyes aren’t bigger than your stomach he said ominously, as he sauntered off to find more food. Finally she was alone with her food. She tucked in and lost herself to the pleasure and pain of stuffing her gut. Was this the mashed potatoes? The sushi? She was eating too fast to taste and it tasted too good to care. Before Daddy returned she had crammed every last bite of food into her overgrown tummy and polished off her soda to boot. She reclined back in her chair and groaned, this time managing to stifle a second burp. Her belly groaned and burbled audibly. It was as tight as a drum and she couldn’t even put a hand on it to soothe it without it sending a painful quiver through her midsection. Fuck, she had over done it so bad. And she had asked for another helping, what was she thinking? She was done for. As these thoughts swirled through her almost comatose mind, Daddy returned.

When he returned it was with two large slices of cake and a small mountain of ice cream. Bunni whimpered audibly at the thought of having to stuff it all inside her. She might really blow up. “You’ve been such a good girl for me, I thought you could use dessert.” Daddy said. Bunni still sat slumped in the booth and weakly opened her mouth, but all she could muster was a sick “Ooorrrp”. Daddy could see that she was slipping into a food coma, and for a moment wondered if he had gone too far. He had one way to check. “I’m very proud of you, baby girl, you’ve been doing so so good. Can you finish all of this for Daddy?” Jesus he knew how to push her buttons. The praise managed to short circuit her brain, and the pain in her belly seemed to melt away. She sat up as straight as her belly would allow, and began to dig in. Daddy could see that it was taking all her concentration to keep the food down, so he just watched, enraptured by her gluttony. She finished off the ice cream and the first slice of cake. But once the time came for the final slice, it seemed as if Bunni’s hands were filled with lead. She couldn’t even bring herself to pick them up. She moaned which transformed into a burp halfway through.

“I can’t do it, Daddy.” She whined, tears welling up in her eyes. “You have to.” Daddy said gently. “You’ve been misbehaving too much lately, and it wouldn’t exactly be a punishment if it was pleasant would it.”

“Please my tummy’s gonna *uuuurrrp* pop.” She begged. Daddy was unwavering. “You have to finish baby girl. That was the deal. But I’ll help you finish this last piece.” He picked up the last slice of cake and held it in front of her mouth. Bunni clamped it tightly shut. “Open.” Daddy commanded. Bunni shook her head even as her cheeks ballooned out from another burp trying to force its way out. “Open or I’ll make you open.” He repeated. Once again, Bunni shook her head. “Fine.” Said Daddy. “But I tried to warn you.”

Daddy took his free hand and layed it on top of Bunni’s massively swollen tummy. Usually, it looked like a wad of raw pizza dough hanging around her waist, rather formless and blob like, but still sticking out. At this point though, it looked and felt as if she had swallowed a bowling ball. She could be mistaken for being 8 months pregnant from the stretch marks that were already starting to form near her back. She was so tightly packed with food, that the skin around her naval was beginning to turn pink even through her dark skin from all the pressure. This belly was a bomb just waiting to blow. So Daddy did what he had to do.

He placed his hand over her belly button, and gave it a jiggle. So many feelings washed over Bunni at the same moment. The disturbance of her belly caused a massive air bubble to come loose and travel up her throat. The feeling of Daddy’s hand on her bare skin after all this teasing with the food and his words felt like bolts of lightening traveling directly from her belly to her pussy. The monstrous burp that erupted from her caused her a sort of sexy embarrassment that she was only half-conscious of due to her almost comatose state. As soon as the burp was done, Daddy shoved the last piece of cake fully into her mouth, and the way it felt expanding in her throat felt like a cock. As it traveled down she could physically feel the cake stretch and warp her tummy, finding any last available space left. Each swallow that landed in her gut she could trace where it was coming to lie in her horribly overpacked tummy.

All of these feeling combined were simply too much for her little food-impaired brain to handle and she had one of the largest orgasms of her life. There were several earth shattering contractions of her cunt. The first one soaked her panties. The second one soaked her shorts. The third one left her dripping and drooling into the tile floor below them. It was a good thing she had cake shoved down her throat or she would have let out an ear piercing scream.

Daddy saw Bunni quivering and shaking and was at first afraid she was having a seizure, until he heard the splashing on the floor, and smelled the unmistakable smell of her cum. He looked under the table at the small puddle forming below her and looked back at her in awe.

She was beautiful. Her mouth and tits were absolutely smeared in food. It looked as if she had been hit with a water gun of icecream and sauces. Her belly was taut and red, and visibly quivered under the excessive pressure it was holding. Even to Daddy, across the table, it audibly gurgled and groaned in an angry way. Bunni’s pants were ruined. Somewhere in the mayhem her button had popped off, and her belly had surged forward, pushing the zipper down. On top of that, her pants were soaked and she looked like she had pissed herself.

“Are you ok?” Daddy whispered, legitimately concerned. Bunni was slumped in the back of the booth, eyes glazed over, looking at nothing in particularly, and her mouth hanging limply open. All she could muster was a tiny “Burrrrrrrp,” that sounded like air being let out of a tire. “We gotta get you out of here, baby girl.” Said Daddy.

He stood up and put one of Bunni’s arms around his shoulder. He hefted her to her feet, and the jostling elicited a roar from her belly, and a barrage of burps from Bunni. Luckily they had been there so long that they were the only two left in the place other than the employees, who were doing all they could to give the noisy couple a wide berth. Daddy helped Bunni waddle her way to the car, her one free hand trying in vain to rub and soothe her churning belly. Once Daddy had her strapped in he said, “You did so good today baby, I’m proud of you.” He gave her stuffed gut a small pat. “BRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAP!” Bunni moaned after the explosive release of gas Daddy had dislodged barreled out of her throat. “I just hope you are ready for the rest of your punishment at home.”

Bunni looked at him, horrified. “What?” Said Daddy. “You didn’t think I’d let you off that easy did you? After all the back talk you gave me today? And basically shouting out to the whole restaurant what a slutty pig you are?” Daddy scoffed. “No one came to the buffet today to see a whale beach themselves, but they got a show anyway.” Bunni could only rub her poor overworked tummy and try to keep everything where it was. She hoped her next punishment wouldn’t be too severe.

[liaromancewriter]

Sweet Cravings

Premise: Sienna’s late-night cravings won’t leave her alone.

Book: Open Heart (post series) Pairing: Sienna Trinh x Max Valentine (M!OC) Rating/Category: Teen. Fluff. Words: 785

A/N: Submission for @choicesmonthlychallenge March, dialogue prompt "Is it too late to start over?"

She wanted a cookie, and it was just her luck they were all out.

Sienna Valentine placed her hands on her hips and scowled at the empty shelf in the kitchen pantry. Her brown eyes narrowed in concentration as if she could magically make the box of her favorite brand of cookies appear.

When that didn’t work, she growled in frustration. Literally. The sound resembled a lioness unhappy with her pride. Sienna wouldn’t have made the connection, but she’d just finished watching a documentary about lions on the Animal Channel.

Her pregnancy was far enough along that every little thing annoyed her, from feeling fat and ugly to swollen feet and a lingering ache at the small of her back she could never quite reach. Lately, their little bean had taken to somersaulting in the middle of the night, so sleep was a distant and fond memory.

If she didn’t love Max so much, she’d surely leave him for putting her in this position.

Deciding that nothing would do but make herself the damn cookies, Sienna reached inside the pantry for the baking supplies she always kept at hand. And then stopped when she saw the flour on the lower shelf.

Beetling her brows in frustration, she stared at the canister and then her protruding belly. Lately, bending down was an exercise in patience and rationalizing if the thing she dropped was really worth keeping. She meant to ask Max to move everything to the middle shelf, but it had slipped her mind.

Sienna started to ease herself down, just enough to grab the flour, but her stomach kept getting in the way. Maybe if she…nope, that wouldn’t do. Or she could…. No, that was clearly a bad idea, she thought as she felt a cramp in her thighs.

She huffed in annoyance and threw her hands up in the air, grumbling under her breath about the indignities of being pregnant. As if waddling and peeing every five minutes wasn’t bad enough, now she couldn’t even fill a late-night craving without becoming a contortionist.

“What are you doing?”

She held back a yelp, barely, as she turned around to see Max leaning against the kitchen entrance. Dressed in a tee shirt and sleep pants, messy hair stuck up in spikes, he yawned and rubbed sleep from his eyes.

“Iwantcookiesbutwe’realloutandIcan’tgrabtheflourtobakesomebecausesomeidiotputitonthebottomshelfandmybackhurts,” she whined, the words rushing out in a long, breathless sentence.

She must have surprised him, for his eyes went wide, and he tripped over his feet as he straightened from the wall.

“Why do you need cookies at,” he glanced at the clock on the wall, “two-thirty in the morning?”

“I’m pregnant,” she said in a steely tone, implying he’d better be smart enough not to argue.

Max clearly wasn’t that smart.

“And?”

“And your son won’t let me sleep, and I’m hungry! Any other questions you want to ask the pissed-off pregnant lady?” Sienna challenged, folding her arms under her breasts and raising her chin, eyes fired up.

"Is it too late to start over?" Max said in a conciliatory tone, holding up his hands for emphasis. “I’m sorry for being an idiot.”

He padded cautiously toward her, much like the lion in the documentary. When he was close enough, he reached for her hands and tugged her into his arms.

Sienna wanted to pull away, ride high on indignation, to resist his charms. She really did. But then he started massaging her lower back. And she melted into him, letting him take her weight, a sigh of relief escaping as his clever fingers eased the ache that had settled in the groove above her hips.

“Yes, just like that,” she moaned as his thumb pressed against a particularly stubborn spot.

“I’m pretty sure that’s what you said when I got us into his mess,” Max joked, and she couldn’t help but chuckle.

He was probably right, but she had long suspected that her impulsive seduction of him after a heated argument was the conception point.

“If you’re really craving cookies,” his breath brushed against her ear, “there’s a twenty-four-hour CVS on Dupont.”

Sienna lifted her head off his chest and gazed at him with puppy-dog eyes, smiling cajolingly.

He sighed. “Looks like I’m making a CVS run.”

“My hero!” Sienna gushed, stretching on her toes to kiss the underside of his jaw.

Later, Sienna bit into the gooey chocolate cookie and hummed in pleasure as the flavor exploded on her tongue. She glanced sideways at Max, who had dropped onto the couch and promptly closed his eyes.

She silently chortled. Being pregnant wasn’t so bad as long as she had a hot husband to massage her back and fetch her cookies on demand.

---------------

All Fics & Edits: @bluebelle08 @coffeeheartaddict2 @crazy-loca-blog @jerzwriter @lady-calypso @mainstreetreader @peonierose @potionsprefect @queencarb @quixoticdreamer16 @justyourusualash @tessa-liam @trappedinfanfiction

Submissions: @choicesficwriterscreations @openheartfanfics

Max & Sienna only: @aallotarenunelma @storyofmychoices @kyra75

[kinokoshoujoart]

cora’s bad time hell simulation steps or how to play “sprite station for girl” “harvest moon ds cute” the wrong way

(all ways are wrong this game is Accursed)

ok so here’s what my disorganized “guide” to myself for harvest moon ds for girl (aka indecipherable notes i wrote to myself as i played and revised as i tested various things and restarted due to mistakes) looks like. at some point when i become a real gamer i will write a legible guide meant for eyes to look at but uhhh this is how i play this accursed game personally

i’m not sure if anything i wrote will make any sense since i wrote it as notes to myself so probably definitely use fogu and fc2 jonason wiki (may not work but some pages should be archived) instead

ALSO if you’ve never played or barely played the game it won’t make sense at all! hmds was my first harvest moon so i am used to various horrors!

my play style is probably not fun in general HOWEVER if you are a grinding hell goblin like me then it’s GREAT!!!! if not you may still find it amusing that the game gives you permission to play like this

(it’s a great background task game while doing like productive stuff but otherwise playing this way would probably be unbearable)

(image limit)

anyway after that the days go a lot faster, you’ll get the island on summer 1, so on spring 30 i put all my money into million G tickets and sell 200 of em, do the 5x money thing, and save the rest. so when thomas comes the next day to sell you the 900 million G island you can just sell 180 tickets and do the 5x money thing again with like ~600 million G tickets left over. it takes up inventory but you’ll get the shelf in a few days. basically you just need to remember to order from the TV shopping every saturday and place orders with gotz and gray whenever they finish stuff.

random tips

after unlocking the fuckass hot spring sprites (the ones that require you to spend a total of 700 1 hour sessions in the hot springs) i usually grind grazing points— if you put your animals outside for 5 hours you get a “Love Point”, but if you interact with them after they earn that LP then the timer switches over and you can get another LP after 5 more hours. if you wear the time ring the whole time it’s 2.5 hours. i’m not very good at explaining this but basically if you’re super efficient you can get way more animal LP than you realistically should, which is great because the touch glove petting minigame is Bad!!!!

i usually wait on getting the rest of the purple sprites (the ones that require you to hire the purple team and ask for healing) until i’m totally done with the indigo team, cuz i wanna get HG’s purple heart event asap, but you can switch the order if you want

by summer y1 you’ll basically have a feel for everything. aside from Skye, Leia, HG and WP everyone can be married early-mid autumn if you want

if you want to Gay (in the japanese version only) keira is the quickest to marry. leia is the quickest to max affection but it’s impossible to get leia year 1 because the bottle you need to fish up can only be caught in spring. you have to wait until at least year 5 for WP and iirc year 6 for HG.

[megamindsecretlair]

A New Assignment

Cross posted on @megamindssecretlair

Pairing: Bucky x Black!Fem!Reader

Warnings: There's cursing LOL

Summary: One-shot. SHIELD is trying to rebuild its numbers and its operations, without the pesky Hydra stuff. You are an agent with a troubled past who has been taking any and all assignment you can get your hands on. However, Handler has a different assignment in mind this time.

Word Count: 1,654k

A/N: I just finished watching the Spy x Family anime and I loved the idea of a handler, no name given. I love spy stuff in general and I just wanted to write the a** line. LOL. Enjoy. While likes are awesome, please consider reblogging and commenting to support writers!

You were tired. The extra assignments were kicking your butt and the agency-wide shortage wasn’t helping. On more than one occasion, you’ve told Handler that they could simply recruit more people. Shocker you know, but with so many things Handler had to take care of, it was possible that a simple solution could fall through the cracks.

She was not amused. She launched into her favorite speech about the vetting process and how there was a thin line between idiots and spies. Even their best technology didn’t catch Hydra agents under their noses. It wasn’t enough to pluck some pimply fresh face from college anymore. And on and on her complaints went.

Until then, you dragged your carcass across Shield HQ. The agents were…promising. And that was putting it politely. Recruitment was slow and the focus was on other agencies like Sword, though you weren’t sure what was going on there after the whole Hayward thing. 

The new HQ was a lot more discreet than the previous Triskelion. It still lacked any actual decorating. The walls and floors were bland, the fluorescent lights were as bad as ever, and they used the same landscape and ocean prints from before. For all intents and purposes, it was business as usual. 

You crossed the building and took the elevator to the eleventh floor. Analysts milled around passing folders and talking to each other over their cubbies. They gave you a wide berth and whispered behind their hands. You kept your head high and your shoulders squared back. You could not control rumors and they had nothing to do with you. You, Handler, and the brass at Shield knew what happened. That was all that mattered.

You made your way to the back of the open floor plan and knocked on the door. Handler called your name and you entered, closing the door behind you.

Despite the drabness of the offices outside, Handler’s office was more stylish. The carpet and walls were still a dull grayish blue, but the paintings she chose were thought provoking. In one, two forms were contorted so it wasn’t clear if they were embracing or fighting. It was dark at the bottom of the painting as if they were emerging from a pool of inky blackness.

Handler’s chairs were plush and it was like sinking into a cloud. The desk was large without being obnoxious and it held her two computer screens, folders, mail, and small knick knacks like mini snow globes from various countries and shot glasses lined a shelf behind her. Two large windows let in enough light that the overhead lights weren’t truly necessary. In one corner, there was a flat screen TV depicting the latest news story. 

Handler leaned back in her seat as she tore her amber eyes away from the computer screens. She narrowed her eyes at you, a frown spreading across her small face. It only made you smirk as you settled more into the chair.

“We have a long assignment for you,” she said. 

“What?” 

“We appreciate your dedication to the short assignments and picking up the slack. As a reward, we’re placing you undercover at Bowers Innovation. There’s chatter that they’re working on a super soldier serum,” she said. She nodded towards a thick folder hanging off the edge of the desk.

You took it and skimmed through it. The folder held dossiers on the target, the lab, coworkers, etc. 

“We have other agents already in place to provide some cover.”

“Will people ever give up on super soldiers?” You asked, more to yourself. It seemed like even though aliens and gods visited Earth on a regular basis, people would never stop their endless hunt to be better and do better and live forever.

“As long as there are wars to win and soldiers to fight, people will never stop. We’re sending you in as a team. You’ll be partnered with another agent,” Handler said. 

“I work better alone, you know that. Why are you giving me this?” You asked. This was more suited to grunt work. You were not a babysitter. 

Handler lifted a perfectly arched eyebrow and pursed her lips. She blinked a few times and conveyed an entire conversation in that one look. 

You tilted your head and communicated right back. This was not the best use of your time or skills.

“You are uniquely qualified for this mission. Your exceptional ability to bullshit your way through anything is needed. You could sell ice to a penguin,” she said.

“Why, Handler. Flattery gets you nowhere,” you said, with a grin. 

Her jaw flexed but the blank expression she was known for remained in place. You didn’t really think you could get beneath her skin, but it was fun trying. 

“So, what, you want me to break into this lab, destroy the formula?” You asked.

“Emphasis on a long assignment. We need to know who hired him, where the serum is going, has it been tested, etc. It’s all in the folder.” Handler waved her hand as if she were bored with the whole conversation.

That made two of you. You didn’t like one thing about this assignment. Any attempt at contact would make you suspicious, whether your coworkers vouched for you or not. You were pretty good at bullshitting your way through things but with something like this serum, security was going to be tough. And what was your partner supposed to do?

“Fine. I’ll head to logistics to pick a partner,” you said.

“That’s already been arranged,” Handler said. If you didn’t know any better, you’d swear she smirked.

“What’s going on here? Who’s my partner?” 

Handler turned cat-like amber eyes towards you and said the last name you ever expected. “James Buchanan Barnes.”

Heat flashed over your skin. Anger boiled in your gut. “Are you kidding me? Bucky? He’s the opposite of low-key! I’m not doing it. Bucky is a pain in my natural Black-”

“Ass? You can be sometimes, but it’s part of your charm.” 

You whipped around in your seat and saw the devil himself standing in the doorway. How did he manage to open the door and drop in on the conversation without you noticing? 

You glared at him before looking at Handler. Her face hadn’t changed but you just knew that she was laughing her head off under that stoic exterior.

“Assign someone else,” you said.

Bucky shuffled in and closed the door behind him. He sat down and folded his hands in his lap. 

“Aw, but we got married. It’s a little late for cold feet,” he said. 

You kept your eyes trained on Handler while he kept his eyes focused on you. You schooled your features and dropped your tone. 

“Perhaps this assignment will work better with a more qualified agent. James’ face is too recognizable,” you said.

“That’s precisely why he’s qualified. Any person we’ve sent to get close to the scientist, Julius Fisher, was quickly shut down or the agents were found out. He’ll know that anyone would pay top dollar to replicate the super soldier serum. And if he’s not willing to sell, they’ll steal his research or kill him. He will definitely be suspicious of the two of you. But, he also won’t be able to resist a super soldier. He’ll come to you, trap or not.”

“He’ll know that James isn’t married. If he suddenly turns up married, that’s going to raise suspicions,” you said.

“Don’t you remember how small our wedding was? We invited our closest friends and the reception was lovely,” Bucky said.

“Lucky for you, due to the nature of James’ status, it would make sense to keep his personal life private. Including a wedding,” Handler said.

Son of a bitch. She was enjoying this. She already thought of every excuse you would come up with. 

Your chest felt too tight. You couldn’t breathe well enough to get a full breath. 

“Fine,” you said. There was no situation you could think of to get out of this. You could bullshit your way out of most things except where the Handler was involved. You simply had to make the most of the situation. Even if it had to do with Bucky.

Damn him. He smelled good. And he looked good. When he came in, he wore a t-shirt and jeans and his signature leather jacket. But he made that look like he stepped off of a runway. His hair was short and he already had stubble growing in. 

“Excellent. In your folder you’ll find all the details for your lovely, whirlwind romance and the details of your new apartment together,” Handler said.

You knew a dismissal when you heard one. You stood up and left the office, not bothering to address Bucky at all. Regardless, he caught up to you before you reached the opposite end of the office. He held the door as you left and kept time with you as you stalked down the hallway. 

“So when do you want to move in?” Bucky asked.

“Let’s get something straight. We’re only going to do the bare minimum when it comes to this. Outside the home, we’re the perfect couple. Inside of it, you stay in your room, I’ll stay in mine. We’ll stay out of each other’s way, got it?”

As you spoke, you didn’t realize you were poking him in the chest or advancing on him until he grabbed your outstretched hand and tugged you close. Your chest rubbed against his and the smell of him clouded your senses.

He looked down at you, making his eyes half closed. His long eyelashes nearly fanned his cheeks. He licked his lips slowly as he perused your face.

“Got it,” he whispered, with a smirk. 

“And no touching,” you said. You yanked your hand back and stalked off down the hallway, hating how he made you feel. You were so not okay with this.

Don't ya want more Bucky in your life? Great news! The Secret Bucky Files

[little-mouse-gardens]

Rottmnt oc headcannons

Part four : Angie

Alright, I officially finished Angie’s head-cannons. Akdjdak sorry it took me so long, I’ve been really busy for the past few months and got kind of distracted. Plus I was trying to add a few more headcannons for her and I couldn’t settle on how many I wanted to add.

Anyways here they are ^W^ also gonna be linking each of my four rise oc’s headcannons in my introduction post as well

- she learned to cook mostly on her own. Kind of observing from afar by watching her mother and sisters work when she was younger at first and then doing it herself as she got older. Slowly learning more and more along the way.

- let’s Mikey paint her nails to match her outfit, mood or just for the randomness of it after she taught him how to paint nails or let’s him paint a few random little shapes on her using her graphic liners for the exact same reasons. He may or may not love adding flowers across her cheeks and nose like freckles.

- her sisters and Mikey’s brothers swear the pair share a brain cell

- they like to give each other piggyback rides. Bought one of those oversized hoodies so they could both wear it at the same time for cuddles on the go

- Angie likes to collect squish-mallows or just plushies in general. Like A LOT of them. Has one of those little hammocks hanging above one side of her room where she keeps them. She will lend them out to Mikey, her sisters, April, the other turtles if they want one. Her favorite is a strawberry frog squish-mallow that she found at a thrift store and likes to hold it to calm down from being overstimulated.

- hates. Hates. Absolutely hates Being sick because she hates being stuck in bed and she’s hates the sensory issues that come with it. Mainly the fact she can barely smell or taste anything when she’s sick.

- always willing to try new foods, baked goods, drinks ect. Her and Mikey like to cook or bake together

- loves cozy games, her favorite would have to be animal crossing or Minecraft, she made an entire candy land themed carnival in Minecraft

- owns a lot of pastel clothing, also a lot of different aesthetics inhabit her closer but a common theme with a lot of her clothes is prints, embroidery or cute patterns.

- is currently learning knitting, and trying to teach raph and sunny how to knit

- a lot of dates she and Mikey go on once they start dating involve going to small bakeries or random places to paint. Picnic dates on the rooftops or at the park are a must with them

- if Mikey is hiding in his shell, Angie will literally just sit down beside him and watch random videos or listen to music together until he comes out. However if he wants to be carried around, she will do that as well

- adores stickers, buying them and making them, collecting them and giving them to her friends and family as a kind gesture. She and Mikey literally somehow give each other a new sticker like three to four times a week

- her favorite bag is a pink Shiba Inu boba bag, puts a punch of pins and charms in the spaces where pins and charms can be put

- Has an entire little office in her room just dedicated to her working on art. Organized drawers of markers, colored pencils, paints ect. A shelf of sketchbooks and canvases, a drawing tablet always charged and ready for hours of drawing

- is absolutely terrified of hippos. (loves the pigmy hippo) she has a phobia of hippos after one nearly bit her arm at a zoo when she tried to feed it watermelon when she was little

- A bad habit of hers is pushing down/setting aside her own feeling of sadness or anger to comfort and tend to others. So much so that sometimes, when she gets to a quiet spot where no one can bother her, after a rough situation she will just sit there and cry and this is something that honestly takes her awhile to officially work on,

- enjoys sitting up on the roof or any spot with a good view of the sunrise or sunset. Something about seeing all the colors fade in together brings her a sense of joy

- has a big fear of anything sharp or anything that could burn her eyes getting near her face after the whole incident with the kraang, where she was nearly splattered in the face by the slightly acidic blood. The only reason she was saved is because she managed to duck down just in the nick of time

- has three pet rats named princess peach, princess Daisy and princess Rosalina

- Her favorite pizza is just plain cheese pizza with some spices and peppers added on

- absolutely loves boba, her fav flavors are usually sweet like cotton candy, chocolate, vanilla, birthday cake ect.

- when the girls go to their grandparents farm, she immediately goes running to her favorite spot to go explore-which is an abandoned cabin she fashioned into a cottage

- Absolutely loves doing her hair, she has a notebook of all the styles she wants to give her curls. She’s got organized drawers for all her cute hair ties, scrunchies and hair clips. Her hair care routine is a something that actually brings her a lot of comfort when she’s stressed

- she loves shopping and visiting farmers markets and art fairs. She has to stop and look at every booth she can and when she’s at the farmers market? Except her to come home with at least one new plant or some homemade goods

- was diagnosed with autism and adhd when she was about fix or six

- After the kraang incident, she has a hard time with people moving their hands near the right side of her face without warning for a long while (a kraang blood almost got in her eyes and damn near blinded her) the only person she trusts to do that is honestly Mikey, because he quite literally was the one to shield her from getting directly hit head on when she lost the shield she’d been holding

- She and mikey confessed to eachother when he invited her over to the lair for a movie marathon and they had their first kiss on their first date, which was a rooftop picnic

- She doesn’t have too many nightmares after the kraang incident….just a specific two nightmares that come every once in awhile that are very very vivid that honestly freak her out. After she has them she usually either stays up for a little while and hangs out with her sisters in the living room for comfort or she goes out on a walk. If Mikey’s awake she’ll just pop over to the lair and talk with him for a while. Especially if they’ve both been having a rough night dealing with nightmares.

- she painted a mural in each of her sisters rooms. A sunny field for her sister sunny, the beach for her sister Skye and a fairy garden for her sister Marcy

- absolutely hates getting sick, like she tries to avoid getting sick when she can. However she doesn’t mind helping others out when they are sick…she just seems a little more cautious than usual

- Has a irrational fear of fire ants due to an incident she had when she was a child

- When the turtles had to defeat the shredder, Angie got a small scar from the incident on her left side when she pushed mikey out of the way of getting hit, which she covers up with some tattoos later on

- Has always wanted to cosplay princess peach. She’s got a whole vision board and everything

- Current champion of Mario party among her sisters (shes just oddly good at Mario party for some reason)

- She likes to bring her friends and family little gifts that remind her of them. Like for example she made April a set of flower charms for her bag or she brought Mikey a new apron after his old one got ruined while he was cooking

- She does talk in her sleep and girl says the most out of context random sentences when that happens

- her biggest goal is to one day open and run her own bakery

[megamindslair]

A New Assignment

Moving my fics to @megamindsecretlair

Warnings: There's cursing. Bucky x Blackfem!reader.

Summary: One-shot. SHIELD is trying to rebuild its numbers and its operations, without the pesky Hydra stuff. You are an agent with a troubled past who has been taking any and all assignment you can get your hands on. However, Handler has a different assignment in mind this time.

Word Count: 1,654k

A/N: I just finished watching the Spy x Family anime and I loved the idea of a handler, no name given. I love spy stuff in general and I just wanted to write the a** line. LOL. Enjoy.

You were tired. The extra assignments were kicking your butt and the agency-wide shortage wasn’t helping. On more than one occasion, you’ve told Handler that they could simply recruit more people. Shocker you know, but with so many things Handler had to take care of, it was possible that a simple solution could fall through the cracks.

She was not amused. She launched into her favorite speech about the vetting process and how there was a thin line between idiots and spies. Even their best technology didn’t catch Hydra agents under their noses. It wasn’t enough to pluck some pimply fresh face from college anymore. And on and on her complaints went.

Until then, you dragged your carcass across Shield HQ. The agents were…promising. And that was putting it politely. Recruitment was slow and the focus was on other agencies like Sword, though you weren’t sure what was going on there after the whole Hayward thing. 

The new HQ was a lot more discreet than the previous Triskelion. It still lacked any actual decorating. The walls and floors were bland, the fluorescent lights were as bad as ever, and they used the same landscape and ocean prints from before. For all intents and purposes, it was business as usual. 

You crossed the building and took the elevator to the eleventh floor. Analysts milled around passing folders and talking to each other over their cubbies. They gave you a wide berth and whispered behind their hands. You kept your head high and your shoulders squared back. You could not control rumors and they had nothing to do with you. You, Handler, and the brass at Shield knew what happened. That was all that mattered.

You made your way to the back of the open floor plan and knocked on the door. Handler called your name and you entered, closing the door behind you.

Despite the drabness of the offices outside, Handler’s office was more stylish. The carpet and walls were still a dull grayish blue, but the paintings she chose were thought provoking. In one, two forms were contorted so it wasn’t clear if they were embracing or fighting. It was dark at the bottom of the painting as if they were emerging from a pool of inky blackness.

Handler’s chairs were plush and it was like sinking into a cloud. The desk was large without being obnoxious and it held her two computer screens, folders, mail, and small knick knacks like mini snow globes from various countries and shot glasses lined a shelf behind her. Two large windows let in enough light that the overhead lights weren’t truly necessary. In one corner, there was a flat screen TV depicting the latest news story. 

Handler leaned back in her seat as she tore her amber eyes away from the computer screens. She narrowed her eyes at you, a frown spreading across her small face. It only made you smirk as you settled more into the chair.

“We have a long assignment for you,” she said. 

“What?” 

“We appreciate your dedication to the short assignments and picking up the slack. As a reward, we’re placing you undercover at Bowers Innovation. There’s chatter that they’re working on a super soldier serum,” she said. She nodded towards a thick folder hanging off the edge of the desk.

You took it and skimmed through it. The folder held dossiers on the target, the lab, coworkers, etc. 

“We have other agents already in place to provide some cover.”

“Will people ever give up on super soldiers?” You asked, more to yourself. It seemed like even though aliens and gods visited Earth on a regular basis, people would never stop their endless hunt to be better and do better and live forever.

“As long as there are wars to win and soldiers to fight, people will never stop. We’re sending you in as a team. You’ll be partnered with another agent,” Handler said. 

“I work better alone, you know that. Why are you giving me this?” You asked. This was more suited to grunt work. You were not a babysitter. 

Handler lifted a perfectly arched eyebrow and pursed her lips. She blinked a few times and conveyed an entire conversation in that one look. 

You tilted your head and communicated right back. This was not the best use of your time or skills.

“You are uniquely qualified for this mission. Your exceptional ability to bullshit your way through anything is needed. You could sell ice to a penguin,” she said.

“Why, Handler. Flattery gets you nowhere,” you said, with a grin. 

Her jaw flexed but the blank expression she was known for remained in place. You didn’t really think you could get beneath her skin, but it was fun trying. 

“So, what, you want me to break into this lab, destroy the formula?” You asked.

“Emphasis on a long assignment. We need to know who hired him, where the serum is going, has it been tested, etc. It’s all in the folder.” Handler waved her hand as if she were bored with the whole conversation.

That made two of you. You didn’t like one thing about this assignment. Any attempt at contact would make you suspicious, whether your coworkers vouched for you or not. You were pretty good at bullshitting your way through things but with something like this serum, security was going to be tough. And what was your partner supposed to do?

“Fine. I’ll head to logistics to pick a partner,” you said.

“That’s already been arranged,” Handler said. If you didn’t know any better, you’d swear she smirked.

“What’s going on here? Who’s my partner?” 

Handler turned cat-like amber eyes towards you and said the last name you ever expected. “James Buchanan Barnes.”

Heat flashed over your skin. Anger boiled in your gut. “Are you kidding me? Bucky? He’s the opposite of low-key! I’m not doing it. Bucky is a pain in my natural Black-”

“Ass? You can be sometimes, but it’s part of your charm.” 

You whipped around in your seat and saw the devil himself standing in the doorway. How did he manage to open the door and drop in on the conversation without you noticing? 

You glared at him before looking at Handler. Her face hadn’t changed but you just knew that she was laughing her head off under that stoic exterior.

“Assign someone else,” you said.

Bucky shuffled in and closed the door behind him. He sat down and folded his hands in his lap. 

“Aw, but we got married. It’s a little late for cold feet,” he said. 

You kept your eyes trained on Handler while he kept his eyes focused on you. You schooled your features and dropped your tone. 

“Perhaps this assignment will work better with a more qualified agent. James’ face is too recognizable,” you said.

“That’s precisely why he’s qualified. Any person we’ve sent to get close to the scientist, Julius Fisher, was quickly shut down or the agents were found out. He’ll know that anyone would pay top dollar to replicate the super soldier serum. And if he’s not willing to sell, they’ll steal his research or kill him. He will definitely be suspicious of the two of you. But, he also won’t be able to resist a super soldier. He’ll come to you, trap or not.”

“He’ll know that James isn’t married. If he suddenly turns up married, that’s going to raise suspicions,” you said.

“Don’t you remember how small our wedding was? We invited our closest friends and the reception was lovely,” Bucky said.

“Lucky for you, due to the nature of James’ status, it would make sense to keep his personal life private. Including a wedding,” Handler said.

Son of a bitch. She was enjoying this. She already thought of every excuse you would come up with. 

Your chest felt too tight. You couldn’t breathe well enough to get a full breath. 

“Fine,” you said. There was no situation you could think of to get out of this. You could bullshit your way out of most things except where the Handler was involved. You simply had to make the most of the situation. Even if it had to do with Bucky.

Damn him. He smelled good. And he looked good. When he came in, he wore a t-shirt and jeans and his signature leather jacket. But he made that look like he stepped off of a runway. His hair was short and he already had stubble growing in. 

“Excellent. In your folder you’ll find all the details for your lovely, whirlwind romance and the details of your new apartment together,” Handler said.

You knew a dismissal when you heard one. You stood up and left the office, not bothering to address Bucky at all. Regardless, he caught up to you before you reached the opposite end of the office. He held the door as you left and kept time with you as you stalked down the hallway. 

“So when do you want to move in?” Bucky asked.

“Let’s get something straight. We’re only going to do the bare minimum when it comes to this. Outside the home, we’re the perfect couple. Inside of it, you stay in your room, I’ll stay in mine. We’ll stay out of each other’s way, got it?”

As you spoke, you didn’t realize you were poking him in the chest or advancing on him until he grabbed your outstretched hand and tugged you close. Your chest rubbed against his and the smell of him clouded your senses.

He looked down at you, making his eyes half closed. His long eyelashes nearly fanned his cheeks. He licked his lips slowly as he perused your face.

“Got it,” he whispered, with a smirk. 

“And no touching,” you said. You yanked your hand back and stalked off down the hallway, hating how he made you feel. You were so not okay with this.

[newsie-collective]

Nick "Mush" Meyers

Quickfire Favorites

Food: “Anythin’ I can get me hands on.”

Color: “Green! ‘S tha cola’s of all the trees ‘n stuff when me ‘n Blink ‘n Tommy ‘n Specs have picnics!”

Season: “Spring! ‘S perty when we’s goin’ out!”

Weather: “Sunny! ‘S real nice when it’s sunny! There’s mo’ people to sell to!”

Hobby: “Visitin’ wit’ Clara at the snowglobe shop!”

Animal: “Frogs! Snails! Both ‘s good! I don’ like touchin’ ‘em but they’re real neat to look at.”

Memory: “Givin’ Kloppman the snowglobe after the strike!”

Comfort Item: “All me snowglobes. They make me feel real good ‘n they help me feel bett’a after a long day.”

He was missing most of his teeth when he made it to the lodge house (lucky for him they were all baby teeth), earning him the name Mush (both because of his lisp and the way his mouth looked after getting soaked for being in the wrong place at the wrong time)

Doesn’t talk all that much now because of this

He’s never known his family. He was on the streets as long as he could remember before moving into The Lodge™️

He’s the muscle of the Manhattan newsies. He’s originally from Harlem, but too many people knew him there (even if he didn’t know them) so he had to get a new selling spot, and he moved to Manhattan. 

Honestly, Manhattan is so diverse because they’re all adopted in from other boroughs. Like, they’re just a melting pot of New York.

He’s such a light sleeper

Also takes up the entire bed, and whoever he’s cuddling with either has to lay on top of him or beneath him

He's also an early riser, and his usual bunkmates (Tommy, Specs, and Blink) really aren't

He’s really protective of his friends. And even more of his partners. If someone gets sick, he will too. Because he will coddle them until they both get over it.

He would give extra papers to his partners (yes with an S. Mush loves so hard there’s no way he isn’t poly. More on that in a different post, once we start doing relationship analyses) if they were selling well, and would offer to help if they were struggling

Loves karaoke night at Medda’s

Terrified of bugs, especially moths and butterflies.

No one knows this

(Everyone knows but they all pretend not to bc Mush is super embarrassed by it)

Has scars all over from fights and such

HE LOVES SNOWGLOBES. IT’S THE ONLY THING HE COULD ALWAYS GET THE OTHERS TO LEAVE ALONE. AND HE WAS SO HAPPY THEY RESPECTED THAT

He made friends with Clara, the lady who sells the snowglobes. It's this nice little stained glass shop, and the snowglobes just caught Mush's eye one day.

He went inside, absolutely awestruck by them, and absolutely devastated that he could never even come close to affording one. But, they were too pretty to just leave. So, he slipped the smallest one in his pocket, but he isn't as sneaky as the others (he's got a really low dex score, lbr) and gets caught before he's even left the aisle.

Dude he is terrified when the owner rounds the corner with a glare, and he just knows he's getting sent to the Refuge for this.

He puts the snowglobe back on the shelf and is apologizing as much as he can as fast as he can and begging her not to say anything. Pleading with her not to call the bulls on him.

She knows he's a newsie, and they aren't normally allowed near her shop, much less inside, but Mush is just so adorable and she can tell he feels bad about it.

She offers him a deal. 

She will give him a snowglobe for each odd job he does (explaining very carefully that the bigger ones will need more than one job done)

And Mush is just head over heels in love with this idea. 

The newsies don't ask where his massive collection of snowglobes is coming from. Or where he disappears to every night.

She makes him a special snowglobe commemorating the strike once they've finished and won, and that's the only one he doesn't keep. 

He gives it to Kloppman.

Who promptly puts it on his desk because he wants everyone to know that those were his boys.

Has worked security at a number of places, especially after people realized that all it would take would be a snowglobe. But, the glass store owner taught him a lot about his worth, and won't do a job unless he's rewarded well enough for it.

That's why he was so hesitant on doing the strike. He was too uncertain of the reward for the massive risk they were taking.

He stopped in the glass shop in Harlem while he was out there recruiting newsies asked her opinion, and she told him that he should follow his heart. 

And when he told her he was going to go through with the strike, she gave him the big snowglobe he'd been eyeing since the first day he went in there (she'd kept from selling it just for him, but didn't tell him that until he went and visited her after the strike was settled) for good luck.

Is really good with the younger kids, and really enjoys hanging out with them, because they're easier to understand than adults with big emotions (and he also likes knowing more than someone for once, and likes teaching them new things)

Can absolutely make flower crowns and loves going to Central Park to make them

He really loves love. Like he used to get puppy crushes worse than Romeo. And he would fall so hard.

He eventually grew out of his puppy crush phase, but he stayed in love with love. He likes seeing all of his friends happy together.

The cuddliest cuddler to ever cuddle

He's a lot like Finch in the way that he doesn't care how he's laying with his cuddle partner. He just really really likes physical touch-like to the point where the others get annoyed with him. It's the way he shows his love.

It's been really toned down since he was younger, because the other boys used to get frustrated and tell him off for being too much. 

He's very insecure about it

He's very trusting. He trusts too easily, which is odd because he's one of the oldest newsies, and no one expects him to be this trusting but this boy does not know how to stop it

He's forgiven the Delancey brothers because they weren't much older than some of the older newsies, and they were being exploited and used, and Mush can't really hold that against them. 

He forgave Cowboy, didn't he?

He's so easily excited by the simplest things. Like he gets so excited so fast about things that are small.

Would totally be in those tiny things Facebook groups

Blush things:

He'd been at the Newsboy Home for ages and this mean dude with an eyepatch just showed up and started acting an ass and scaring the younger kids. 

He told Blink to either get his shit together or get out.

He found Blink outside after curfew that night with some shady guys.

And he just picks Blink up (after slapping a few guys around) and carries him to the lodge house. 

Because it's too fucking much to try and talk to him. He just lays him in a bed and tells him that if he's not in the house in the morning he'd have made his choice and to not come back because he doesn't have enough mental space to be worried about this new kid who doesn't even want to follow the few rules there are. 

And Blink's just like 'You're ;worried about me?  😏'

Mush decks that motherfucker. 

Just one good hit. 

And he went to bed.

The next morning, the bed was empty, and so was Elmer's. 

Mush went looking for Elmer, and found him and Blink cuddling on the couch.

He woke them up trying to figure out why they had to cuddle out in the living room, and the only response he got from Blink was "If i have to follow curfew, so does he"

He and Blink kind of became children wranglers after that. Not necessarily babysitting them, but making sure everyone was inside before  the door was locked, or Kloppman wouldn't get any sleep waiting up for them.

After he and Blink calmed down around each other, they actually became best friends, and eventually more than that.

Like slow burn turned up to 11. Like boil the frog kind of fucking slow.

It took them forever

Mush told Blink (while teaching him how to be less violent) to smack him when he felt like beating people up. 

It eventually turned to affectionate paps to the cheek like the one in the beginning of 92sies (which actually happened not long after Blink mellowed. He would still have some violent spells, like almost going after Crutchy in the beginning of the movie, when Mush stepped in)

Italian food 🤤

He really likes going into libraries for two reasons:

1) The endless shelves to wander through and get lost in leave him awestruck every time

2) There's usually a corner with just enough space for him to curl up and nap in

He's so good at hide and seek. At least the seeking part. He's practically hunting the hiders. It's honestly terrifying.

Really good with remembering the names and patterns of constellations, but cannot for the life of him remember where they are in relation to each other, and can only find really famous constellations like Orion and Ursa Major

Mush!! My sweet boy!!! I love him sm. He deserves everything 🥰

He's so freaking cute

👻

[my-head-is-an-animal]

Home Calling

Talos x Original Female Character/Keller x Original Female Character

Chapter 5

Keller saw his phone ring, the familiar sense of both dread and anxiety began to surge through him. He recognised the number and if his sources could be trusted, he had a very good idea what the call was about.

    He picked up the phone from the glass table in his back garden. The hot Los Angeles sun was beating down on his skin, he’d always liked the sun, especially now that he was retired.

    ‘Is she okay?’ He answered, listening to the pause from Talos on the other end.

    ‘She’s… she’s not doing great.’ The alien with his face answered. ‘Anya’s in pretty bad shape at the moment. She was stabbed.’

    Keller sat back down, not of his own accord and swallowed back his emotions. ‘Is… is she conscious?’

    ‘Not at the moment.’ Talos sighed. ‘Look, I just have one question: what the hell happened to her? I’ve got Fury telling me she broke her promises to not use her powers to help your enemies, but her face is telling me a different story altogether. So, I just wanna know, did she betray you?’

    Keller swallowed again, pushing his glasses up his nose and sitting back, sniffing slightly as he thought about what happened when Anya ran away from SHIELD.

    ‘She didn’t betray anyone.’ Keller said. ‘She took the fall for someone who did.’

    ‘Who?’

    ‘Me.’ Keller ran his fingers over his forehead as he thought. ‘Anya Paxton is probably one of the bravest people in the whole world… and I loved her more than anything.’ He could hear Talos sitting up and paying attention. ‘I have to say, I have been waiting for this call for a very long time.’

    ‘You have?’

    ‘Yes.’ Keller nodded, watching the calm view from his home on the west coast. ‘I still get updates on Anya’s well-being, I knew you and Fury and Hill were with her and the cracks had already started to show, suddenly I found myself counting down the hours until one of the three of you called.’

    ‘Okay, I called, so let’s talk. What happened?’

    Keller folded his arms over his chest, he wasn’t used to being on the other end of an interrogation, but this was important.

 THREE YEARS AGO

 Keller watched her in the lab, she was animated, witty and always smiling. He approached carefully, trying not to disturb her too much, as she entertained the lab technicians. It wasn’t hard to see that it was one of the few things Anya really enjoyed about her time within the SHIELD facility.

    It was a cruelty that she couldn’t leave as much as she would have liked, but it was in both the interest of safety and security.

    The second one of the lab techs saw him, they began to disperse, and Anya didn’t get to finish her story.

    ‘Sorry.’ He said, quietly admiring her.

    ‘It’s okay, I’ve told it before.’ She smiled, leaning on the counter. She looked at him through the distorted glass beaker on the shelf separating them. Big green eyes connecting to his blue ones. ‘So, what brings you down here?’

    Keller cleared his throat trying not to fall any harder for her. ‘We’ve got a situation upstairs.’ He spoke quietly, trying to make clear the seriousness of it all.

    The disappointed expression was one he hated to see, but she knew he wouldn’t ask for no reason, she knew he only ever asked for her help when it was truly needed. It still didn’t make things easier for either of them.

    ‘Okay.’ She nodded, trying to make herself seem busy with the files around her. Keller felt his heart drop.

    ‘Anya, you know I wouldn’t ask-‘

    ‘I know.’

    ‘Okay.’ Keller didn’t want to rock the boat, he wanted her to do this of her own free will, it was the least he could give her after all the years she had given to him. ‘You want me to wait outside until you’re ready?’

    ‘No.’ She shook her head, half laughing. ‘Don’t be silly. I can do this.’

    ‘I know you can.’

  Anya took a deep breath and it was the moments she was putting a brave face on that he loved her the most.

    Eventually Keller led her out of the lab and towards the interrogation room up a level. It was quiet in the lift, he knew she was preparing herself and he never liked to disturb that.

    ‘I should be allowed to leave the facility tonight.’ She suddenly said, making all of his attention turn to her. ‘They gave me a pass to have an evening to myself.’

    ‘That’s great.’ Keller smiled. ‘What are you planning on doing?’

    ‘Well, I’ll have to have a SHIELD escort,’ she folded her arms, always a little disappointed at that. ‘But I think I’m going to go to a bar, have a drink… pretend to be normal for a while.’ She said the last part a little quieter, tucking her thick, dark blonde hair behind her ear. He wished he could do that for her, he wished he could do a lot of things.

    ‘Maybe you’ll meet someone.’ Keller didn’t know why he said it, it just came tumbling out of his mouth.

    ‘Maybe.’ She chuckled. ‘And then I’ll run a mile.’

    Keller didn’t know what to say, they had this conversation routinely, and he always thought it was an opportune time to tell her how he really felt, but he never did.

    The doors opened before he was ready to leave her company, but there was work to do.

    ‘Forty-six year old male,’ Keller began briefing her as they entered the observation room where a couple of agents were sitting, moving out of the way to Anya more room than was necessary. How did she not feel effected by it? ‘We know he’s killed people, we know he’s dabbled in the drug trade and we know he used to be special forces.’ He watched her take another breath. ‘Beyond that, we’re specifically looking for the name and/or location of the individual he was meeting on the seventh. All we need to know for sure is if they discussed something called Touchstone.’

    ‘That’s it?’ She confirmed.

    ‘That’s it.’ Keller nodded. ‘You need a minute?’ He always asked and she always refused, but he always made sure to ask.

  He would never let her go in alone either. He always stood by, ready to help if it was needed, she insisted she was fine, but he always stood by her.

    Keller watched as the suspect was restrained and Anya stepped forward quickly, avoiding his gnashing jaws as she grabbed his arm, immediately letting go. He followed her out of the room and into the corridor where she leaned against the wall with one hand, crouching onto the floor and breathing steadily and deeply.

    He crouched down with her, staying close without touching her skin.

    ‘You’re okay,’ he spoke quietly, trying to be soothing. ‘Just breathe, nice and deep. Slow.’ He always did his best when she felt overwhelmed like this. He couldn’t imagine the toll she took every time, but he tried his best.

    Keller gently placed his hand on her back, the barrier of her lab coat and blouse beneath, the only thing separating them. It was always dangerous, but it was the comfort she needed more than anything and he wouldn’t dare refuse her.

    ‘The seventh.’ Anya’s eyes were shut tight as she tried to organise herself and wade through the memories she just took on board. ‘He met with a man called Ashton, no last name as far as I can tell. They talked about a shipment of guns coming in from Mexico… Touchstone.’ Her green eyes found his. ‘Yes, they talked about Touchstone. He said there was a problem, one of the board members, apparently, he wouldn’t give up a key piece of information, they can’t move forward until he does. They’re going to use his family to get to him.’

    Keller gestured to a nearby agent and gave them instructions to follow up on the board member. Once he was done, all of his attention went back to Anya.

    ‘Are you going to be okay?’ He asked, noticing she was struggling to even her breathing out entirely. Anya nodded, but he wasn’t convinced. ‘Come on, let’s get you to your room. You need to rest.’

    Anya offered no resistance. Keller couldn’t help her the way he wanted to, but he did his best to guide her towards her room. He took her lab coat and hung it up on the hook beside the door. He hated how domestic her room looked, it should have been used for agents to stop over during late nights, but Anya basically lived in the facility and made herself a home inside the small space.

    She lay back on the bed and he fetched her a glass of water, sitting on the edge of the bed, resisting the urge to stroke her soft hair.

    ‘Rest up,’ he said. ‘You’ve got a big evening planned.’ He tried to make her smile and it almost worked.

    ‘I’ll try.’ She whispered, her soft lips slightly parted and he was desperate to kiss her.

    Keller went against everything his body was telling him to do, he stood up and left her to rest for as long as she needed.

    The day rolled on and he needed to make sure the suspect went into the right hands, that all the paperwork was taken care of and everyone had their assignments. He decided to go out to the only bar that Anya would go to, hoping she would be there and hoping she would be having fun.

    He caught sight of thick, dark, blonde hair and wandered close to where Anya sat nursing a drink. She looked good in her black satin dress, long sleeves to cover her arms and a minimal amount of makeup. God, she was beautiful.

    Keller adjusted his tie and pushed his glasses up, making sure he matched her energy.

    ‘So, this is where you ended up?’ He said, casually wandering towards the empty seat next to her.

    Anya looked at him with an almost blank expression for just a moment, before her gaze softened slightly. ‘It is.’ She nodded, watching him curiously.

    ‘Did you succeed in your endeavours?’ He watched her frown in confusion. ‘I mean, did you meet anyone?’

    She shook her head, taking a sip of her drink.

    ‘Well, that is a shame.’ He felt for her, knowing she could probably meet a hundred men who would take her fancy for a while, but none of it would matter, she could never make a relationship work. ‘Can I buy you another drink?’ He offered.

    ‘Sure.’ She chuckled, taking another mouthful.

    Keller gestured to the barman for another round. ‘Did you get enough rest this afternoon?’

    ‘Plenty, thank you.’ Anya nodded.

    He observed her for a moment. This just wasn’t her usual attitude, she must have still been feeling the effects of absorbing those memories. Keller finally sat at the stool next to her and inhaled deeply.

    ‘Thank you for your help today.’ He said, her gaze still planted to her glass. ‘I know I said that already, but honestly, I don’t think you get enough credit for what you do for us. For me.’

    Anya shrugged. ‘You ask, I do.’ She said it simply. ‘What is Touchstone anyway? Why is it so important?’

   Keller gave her a strange look as the barman put their drinks down.

    ‘It’s classified.’ He said as if it were obvious. ‘You’ve never asked about an operation before. Something playing on your mind?’

    ‘I just don’t understand it.’ She shook her head. ‘It’s okay, don’t worry. I’ll just… I’ll figure something out.’

    Keller considered her for a moment. If she was struggling that much, surely she could just come out and say it? He’d worked hard over the years he’d known her to make that clear. She could tell him anything.

    ‘Okay,’ Keller took a sip of whiskey. ‘What I can tell you is Touchstone is a classified operation involving the shipment of more than just guns. We’re pretty sure they’re operating in precious gems in Africa. We know that the man you encountered today was one of the drivers and an enforcer of some description. The information you gave us was enough to secure the identity of the man he was meeting. Anya, because of you, we can get ourselves in on a meeting happening in two weeks and dismantle the entire trade of illegal guns and precious metals. We’re cleaning up our country and you’re the key to all of that.’ He sighed, watching her green eyes dart around his face. ‘I’m so proud of you, you can’t even imagine.’

    Anya finally cracked a smile and turned back to her drink. ‘So, you’re sending someone to the meet?’

    ‘We’ll be sending a team.’ Keller nodded, knowing he probably shouldn’t have told her any of that, but she was good at keeping secrets. ‘It’ll be like the old days of drugs busts.’

    She smiled a little wider.

    ‘Does that settle you at all?’ Keller asked, sincerely.

    ‘Yeah, it does.’ She nodded. Anya cleared her throat and sipped her drink. ‘So, what brings you here?’

    ‘I was hoping to run into someone.’ He smiled.

    ‘And did you?’

    ‘I always do.’ Keller’s eyes took in every part of her face and body while her attention was on her glass. He tore his gaze away and frowned. ‘Where’s your escort?’

    ‘Around.’ She shrugged. ‘Aren’t they always?’

    Keller chuckled, nodding in agreement. ‘I suppose you’re right.’ He thought for a moment. ‘I know you want to live a normal life, I have high hopes that one day you can, but for the time being, I hope you understand I am doing the best I can for you.’

    ‘I know.’ Anya nodded.

    Keller decided she would probably like the space to continue her free evening however she liked. He wanted to spend more time with her, but he wouldn’t take up any of her time if she didn’t want that.

    He went home and tried hard not to think on how good she looked in her black dress.

    The next day he arrived to find that Anya was being arrested.

    ‘What the hell is going on here?’ He demanded as the two agents slapped restraints on her wrists, being careful not to touch her.

    ‘Sir, there has been a security breach.’ One of the agents said, by way of explanation, but Keller didn’t move out of the way.

    ‘You’re going to need to give me more than that, son.’ Keller almost growled, he hated to see her treated like a common criminal, people were already uncomfortable around Anya, she didn’t deserve this.

    ‘Touchstone, sir, we got word that there has been a dramatic change in their plans.’ The agent almost seemed happy that Anya was being arrested. He could tell he had too harsh a grip on her arm from the discomfort on her face. ‘She leaked information using what she had learned from the suspect yesterday.’

    ‘Keller, I didn’t-‘ Anya begged, tears filling her eyes.

    ‘Shut up!’ The agent silenced her.

    Keller felt his heart dropping, had she really used what she’d found out to leak information? It just didn’t sound like her.

    ‘I’m sorry, sir,’ the other agent spoke. ‘I know you’ve put a lot of man hours into this project.’ How dare he refer to Anya as a project, she was human being like they were, she deserved to be treated like one.

    ‘Yeah.’ Keller straightened his back. ‘Take her to the interrogation room upstairs, I’ll deal with this myself.’

    ‘Sir, we’ve been asked-‘

    ‘It wasn’t a request.’ Keller made himself clear.

    The two agents almost dragged Anya down the hall, she was still pleading, telling him she didn’t leak anything, that she would never.

    Keller pushed his glasses up his nose and sighed. He decided to do a little investigating himself.

    Her room was clean, no communication devices apart from her phone, which was probably being hacked into in that very moment. Her laptop didn’t seem out of place and would also be searched, there was nothing to suggest she’d even left the room since the day before. Either she was very good at hiding her steps, or something else was going on.

    Keller made it up to the interrogation room, she had a cut on her lip that hadn’t been there before and it made his heart hurt.

    ‘What’s that?’ He asked one of the agents in the observation room.

    ‘She tried to escape.’ He shrugged, but his posture and the way his eyes moved made Keller certain it was a lie.

    ‘Did she now?’ He asked, making it clear he knew it was a lie. ‘Who’s leading the investigation?’

    ‘Agent Blake, sir.’

    Keller nodded, pushing his glasses up his nose again. ‘Well, you can tell Agent Blake, I’ll be taking over.’

    ‘But, sir-‘

    ‘Again, not a request.’

    ‘Yes, sir.’ The agent’s jaw clenched, but Keller didn’t care, he needed to get to the bottom of this himself.

    He wandered into the interrogation room to find Anya was shaking, she was terrified. He pressed his finger to his lips, indicating for her to be quiet. He then took out a remote which blacked out the window to the observation room, and turned off the feed to the cameras and audio recording.

    ‘You wanna tell me what’s going on?’ Keller remained calm, sitting down in front of her.

    ‘I don’t know.’ She sniffed, shaking more than before, was she scared of him? ‘All I know is I went to sleep yesterday and was woken up this morning by those two agents telling me I was under arrest.’ She tried to hold back her tears. ‘I don’t understand what’s happening, I don’t know what they’re talking about.’

    ‘Okay.’ Keller nodded. ‘So, what about last night?’

    She frowned.

    ‘The conversation we had about Touchstone,’ Keller could see she was either a very good liar, or again, something else was going on. ‘In the bar, you asked me about the operation.’

    Anya shook her head, wiping her cheeks where the tears had fallen. ‘I’ve never asked about your operations, it’s classified.’

    Keller leaned forward, observing every part of her face and something was flaring in the back of his mind, something that terrified him more than anything.

    ‘Anya, you need to tell me the truth-‘

    ‘I am telling you the truth.’ She said, determined to make him see that. ‘I wasn’t in the bar last night, look.’ She pulled out the pass that she had been given, one that should have been taken from her at the entrance, yet she still had it on her.

    Keller’s throat went dry. He knew exactly what had happened. ‘Anya, you need to listen to me very carefully,’ he started, but quickly changed his mind, time was now a factor. ‘Better yet, take my hand.’

    ‘What?’ Anya immediately took her hands as far away from him as she could. ‘I can’t do that.’

    ‘Anya, you didn’t betray anyone,’ he made it clear, holding her green gaze. ‘I did.’ Her eyes widened. ‘It wasn’t intentional. Do you know what a Skrull is?’ She shook her head. ‘It’s an alien who can take on the form of anyone, I think I spoke to one in the bar last night, I think she had your face and gave the information I gave her to the organisation we’re investigating. I need you to take my hand so I can prove it to you.’

    She sat still for the longest time, before swallowing. ‘I believe you.’ She whispered.

    It was exactly like her. He knew how serious it could be if they ever came into contact, if she ever found out who he was in his past life, the secrets he kept and never told a soul. She would see it all.

    ‘I need to tell you something.’ Keller swallowed, knowing this would either be a very good or very bad idea. ‘We’ve known each other for the longest time and there has not been a day that has gone by that I haven’t…’ he paused for a moment, finding his courage. ‘I haven’t felt something for you. While I know you would never allow me to touch you, I want you to know that I think about it all the time. All the time.’

    Anya’s tears were filling her eyes and a couple fell onto her soft, rosy cheeks. ‘Why are you telling me this?’

    ‘Because I’m going to make this right, and probably go to jail for treason.’ Keller could feel his own emotion getting the better of him.

    ‘I don’t understand.’ She shook her head.

    ‘The Skrulls are not bad people, they are refugees, and their identity must be kept a secret at all costs.’ Keller stressed the importance of what he was saying, hoping she could understand. ‘I, and a select few others, have been working towards finding them a new home world, their leader is a good person with his people’s best interests at heart, I cannot let them be exposed like this. So, I will confess to leaking the information and you will be allowed to go back to work.’

    Again, Anya was silent.

    ‘Anya, do you understand what I’m saying?’

    ‘I won’t ever see you again.’ Another tear fell.

    ‘No.’ He sighed, feeling the weight of that. ‘You won’t.’

    ‘I can’t let you do that.’ She sniffed.

    ‘I can’t let these people be exposed, it’ll cause chaos like we’ve never seen.’

    ‘I know.’ She nodded, composing herself. ‘So, I have a better plan. I trust you have a safehouse in London?’

    ‘Of course.’ Keller frowned.

    ‘Then I’m going to take this opportunity to tell you how in love with you I’ve fallen.’ She swallowed back the rest of her tears, but Keller’s heart stopped. ‘I think about you all the time as well, but I would never want you to give up anything unwillingly. The greatest dream I have is one where I don’t have these powers, and I can be normal. Maybe one day I can be, but for the time being I hope that confession is enough.’

    Keller swallowed, the urge to hold her and kiss her with everything he had had never been so strong. He wanted to burn the world away for what it was doing to her.

    ‘Why are you telling me this?’ It was his turn to ask.

    ‘Because I’m going to bury the memory of you, I’m going to tell myself to never look at it again, I’m going to forget all the things I feel for you.’ Her tears were coming out thick and fast and Keller was struggling with his own. ‘If what you say is true and the safety of these Skrulls is that important, then I believe you. I’ve never needed to touch you to believe anything you say to me. So, if there’s anything you’d like to say, now is the only time you’ll have.’

    Keller thought for a moment, time was running out. He couldn’t say everything he wanted to, he could never fit it all into a day let alone minutes.

    ‘I love you.’ He said, it was the only thing that came close.

    Anya began sobbing, knowing what was about to happen. Keller pushed his glasses up his nose once more and composed himself. He turned everything back on and adjusted his tie.

    ‘Do you confess to crime of leaking information on a classified operation?’ He asked, every piece of him praying she would say no.

    ‘Yes.’ She said it quietly, but it was loud enough that the audio would pick it up.

    ‘Okay.’ Keller nodded and thought about the best course of action. ‘You will be taken to a high security facility where you will never again be allowed to come into contact with anyone. The trust we… I have placed in you, has clearly been misplaced and I can no longer justify your privileged stay with us at SHIELD. Anya Paxton, you will not be charged with treason as I still believe you can be useful, but you will be useful at a time of SHIELD’s choosing. It’s non-negotiable.’ Anya kept her gaze down, but he wanted to see her beautiful green eyes once more. ‘Anya, look at me.’ She didn’t. ‘Look at me.’ He repeated and finally her bloodshot eyes met his. He swallowed thickly. ‘I want you to remember everything I have just told you, I want you to remember that you betrayed us and should the unlikely scenario occur that you escape, there is no where I wouldn’t go to hunt you down. Am I understood?’

    Anya almost had a thankful expression. He knew how it worked, she could bury some memories, but it was easier if there was something to replace it with. She would remember his cruelty, she would remember the cold way he spoke, but she would forget everything that made him warm and kind. She would forget his true self, all to protect a people that she hadn’t even heard of, only because it was important to him.

—

 Keller moved to the shade of his kitchen, listening to Talos absorb everything he’d just told him. He wondered if Anya was awake yet, she probably still hated him, it was the plan after all. It was the only way she would never come running home to him.

    ‘I helped her escape that night, called a friend who owed me one,’ Keller continued. ‘Smuggled her out of the country to London, decommissioned the safe house and gave her everything she needed to start a new life.’

    Talos sighed. ‘She was protecting my people.’

    If that was what Talos took away from the story, then he was a better man than Keller. ‘Yes, she was.’

    ‘That’s why she looked at me like that then.’

    ‘Like what?’

    ‘I don’t know.’ Talos exhaled heavily. ‘Like she wasn’t scared of me, just… curious, I guess.’

    ‘Did she understand what you are?’ Keller was suddenly finding himself much more interested in Anya’s reaction to Talos.

    ‘I’m not sure, but there was definitely something there that didn’t fit with the normal way people react.’ Talos told him.

    Keller swallowed, pushing his glasses up his nose. ‘Talos, listen to me, it is very important that Anya is protected. I can’t do it myself-‘

    ‘Don’t worry mate, I’ve got it.’ Talos said as if it were obvious. ‘I can see why you like her. She fearless.’

    Keller smiled. ‘She is that.’ He watched the gentle breeze sway through the trees at the end of his garden. Anya would have loved LA, she would have loved the peace and quiet of his home, but every time he thought on it, he felt himself getting emotional. He needed to remain stoic for his own sake.

    ‘What about the drugs? The syringes you sent her?’ Talos broke his focus on the serenity of his home.

    ‘You can’t imagine the pain of loving someone who can never remember who you are, not for any reason,’ Keller swallowed. ‘We never caught the culprit. We still have no idea who I was really talking to that night. The less Anya remembers, the safer she is. The drug was designed to take the load off for a while. From what she told us, it is a daily effort to keep certain memories repressed, some just find their way to the surface no matter what. I wanted to help if I could, if it meant her believing I was doing it for security reasons… then so be it. But to answer your unspoken question, yes, I did notice an increase in her alcohol consumption and decided to do nothing.’ Keller could feel his chest aching. ‘It is a decision I will probably regret for the rest of my life, but the life of two people can be sacrificed for the sake of an entire people. Even if she doesn’t remember, Anya agrees with that sentiment.’

    ‘Look, maybe once we’ve found a new planet, you and Anya could-‘

    ‘I’m sorry Talos, but I just can’t think about it right now.’ Keller swallowed, taking a deep breath to recompose himself.

    ‘I understand.’

    There was a long moment of silence where Keller was sure he could hear someone sleeping.

    ‘Is she there?’ He asked.

    ‘She’s asleep. Hooked up to machines, but she’s stable for the time being.’ Talos confirmed. ‘You want me to put the phone closer so you can hear her?’

    ‘No.’ Keller immediately said. ‘No, it’s fine. I wouldn’t want to… well, you know.’

    ‘I do… look, I can’t imagine what it was like to be in love with someone that you can never even hold,’ Talos said, surprisingly kindly. ‘But I lost my wife, and I would give anything in the world for the opportunity to feel her once more.’ Keller again pushed his glasses up his nose, leaning on the glass window that stretched the length of his kitchen. ‘I’m going to put the phone next to her.’

    Keller barely had a moment to compose himself, before he could hear the soft snoring of Anya. He took his glasses off, resting his forehead against the cool glass and closing his eyes. How often had he imagined her sleeping next to him? Listening to the sounds of her breathing, feel her soft skin against his, kissing her awake and holding her for as long as she needed?

    Too often.

    ‘I still love you.’ He breathed, sniffing back his tears.

    The sound faded as Talos took the phone away. ‘I will do everything I can to keep her safe, Keller. You have my word on that.’

    ‘Thank you.’ Keller whispered, but he couldn’t take any more.

    Keller hung up the phone and allowed himself a moment or two to cry over what he lost.

If you liked this, please consider supporting me ☕ thanks for reading!

[somelazyassartist]

I am having a very strange relationship with mental health currently and I need to talk about it or I feel like I'll explode!!! This is not all actually bad it's just like what is happening!!!!! Under cut bc I am just kinda rambling and don't know what I'm saying really and I'll probably delete this bc I will probably feel extremely weird about talking about it by the time I wake up tomorrow but!! Like j said I just feel like if I don't say anything I'm gonna explode!!!!!!

Like bad stuff out of the way first I guess there's like. Really traumatic realization about My ex-relationship where it's like. OH I was a literal child so I had no idea that was abusive but that was Really Fucking Abusive and I don't know how to deal with that?? I haven't even talked to that person in years and I'm in a much healthier and happier relationship now but like it is kinda fucking me up simply because I have no idea how I'm supposed to handle trauma that I didn't even know was trauma until after I'm far out of that situation. Also been having WAY more paranoia and weirdly vivid nightmares lately but I honestly have zero idea if those are related or not.

HOWEVER like literally don't worry about that at all ever BECAUSE despite those way lower lows than I usually have I have ALSO been having way higher highs in my mental health!!!!! And I don't know why!!!!! I knew moving would help with my depression a lot simply bc I'd be out of my shitty school and shitty cold garage bedroom and away from my shitty stepdad and away from the city (I do not handle loud and crowded and busy environments well) and now I live out in the middle of nowhere where it's quiet and I love it! But like for the last 4 years I've lived here I still felt like my depression had dulled like ALL my care about things down even if the depression itself kinda faded away. Like I got to the point where I wasn't crying myself to sleep every night, but I would read maybe 3 of my already-liked books a year and ignore my entire shelf of unread stuff, I had my favorite wizard outfit I'd wear on special occasions but every other day I'd just wear pajamas or a T-shirt and jeans because I couldn't be assed to do anything more, I'd have entire boxes of half-finished sketches because I would start drawing and lose interest halfway through the sketch, I have bins of art and decorations that I meant to put on my walls years ago and never did. But now!! Just in like the past few weeks specifically!!! I don't know why but I have had so much drive to DO THINGS!!!!! I WANT TO DO THINGS AGAIN!!!!! I've been reading!! Like, actually reading actual novels!!! Like I did when I was little where I was obsessed with making sure every book on my shelf got read at least once!!!!! I've been going through my closet and my accessory bins and makeup and pairing up what looks good!! I've actually been coordinating outfits and trying to make all my clothes have as much personality and fun as my one (1) special wizard outfit I wear!!! I had a bit of extra cash bc of holiday cards and I bought myself some armor despite knowing what it takes to maintain it and keep it nice because I actually have the motivation to upkeep it and find what clothes I have that will look good with a chestplate and pauldrons!!! (It also looks EXACTLY I mean EXACTLY like Laios Dunmeshi's armor so bonus autism win there)!!!!! I dug out my boxes of unfinished art and have been trying to finish old pieces!! I found my old half-filled notebooks and have been filling the blank pages that were leftover!!!!! I've been working on zines, I've been WRITING again (I fucking LOVED writing when I was a kid but grew to hate it eventually), I have multiple rough drafts for graphic novels and animations and in-universe 1st person perspective fantasy research journals!!!! I've been putting up art prints that've sat in boxes for years!!! I've been looking for where a shelf would go nicely to display my trinkets and nick knacks!!! I've been looking into 3D printing lightswitch covers with cool designs and figuring out what to paint on my bookshelves!!!!!!! I'm honestly extremely nervous and scared that this is temporary, and that soon I'm going to fade back into not caring about these things, and that if it goes away again it won't come back like what's happening now - but I am trying my best to keep caring and keep Loving life the way I haven't in years!!! And that is all anybody can do I think!!!!!!!