how do you think clarke would have let lexa know she still had feels for her and loved her if they hadn't had to separte, they had more time together. im really curious was it sometime during the night clarke lays awake and cant shake the feeling she just needs lexa, like really needs her affection rite down to the core or would it be clarke just randomly kissing lexa because shes being all heda and she just cant help herself. i mean come on we all know lexas not going in for the kiss first this time she said she wouldnt and she all afraid of clarkes boundries now.
Ya know. That's actually a good question. And I think if you asked a dozen people in the fandom you'd probably get a dozen really different answers, but I think in my mind and just how Clarke conducted herself, I don't think she would've gone for it any time soon without there being a tipping point.
Because the thing is, Clarke is stubborn. She is bull-fuckin-headed. God love her, she's a precious little shit. Ya just wanna firmly sandwich her face between your palms be like, ".... let some shit go sometimes. Also, you're allowed to want things for yourself. Now stop bein' a dick."
So with that understanding - that she is stubborn and will hold a grudge wuh-haaay past when it's time to let it go - I have to say that no I don't see her really being completely and openly honest with Lexa about her feelings until given a clear impetus to be so. There always had to be a push for it to happen.
Having to go back to Arkadia and possibly never seeing Lexa again, seeing Lexa so resigned to the fact that they may never again get to have that kind of closeness or intimacy in their goodbye (as fleeting in that moment as it felt), knowing that they may never see each other again or if they do it could potentially be on opposite sides of the battlefield, the fact that it was Lexa who pushed forward and let slip "That's why I—..."
Those were all a storm of emotions that emotionally pushed Clarke into acting on her feelings.
Without that, I don't think she would've done it any time soon.
Because it was obvious Lexa had already done damn near all she could to earn Clarke's trust back. Clarke even understood the choices Lexa had made by that point. Had literally mirrors them herself despite, stubbornly 👀, trying to push the blame off onto Lexa's shoulders as a coping mechanism. They were rebuilding all the pieces of their relationship, but every 2 steps forward, Clarke would always take one step back. She always kept that distance. Always keep Lexa at arms distance.
This scene right here is the epitome of Clarke being Clarke
I mean goddamn girl. They had just spent the afternoon together. Clarke had sat and physically comforted Lexa after her nightmare. She'd drawn her sleeping and held that trust in such a vulnerable state. And yet, when Emerson attacked and Lexa moved to not only protect her but to comfort her by merely touching her and helping her up, Clarke recoils and harshly rejects her. Leaving Lexa startled, and confused, and hurt despite her immediately accepting the rejection, because... well, look at what they had just shared. That afternoon, those moments, they had meant something.
But that's just what Clarke does.
It's just who she is when she feels like her trust has been broken. Despite all the pieces being there for Clarke to move on from the anger she was already having a hard time hanging on to anyway, she still did hang on to it, because she's a stubborn little asshole (affectionate... mostly) in that way
That being said... if they were given A Lot more time for Clarke to pull her head out of her own ass and move on and actually allow herself to be happy within this world of chaos, I think it would've been more of a moment of Lexa just being Lexa, rather than Heda, that would've finally knocked down those few remaining bricks in Clarke's wall.
Because, while I think Clarke was attracted to Heda and Lexa as Heda and all that she embodied in those moments, truly I think Clarke fell in love with Lexa as just a person. The girl beneath the armor. And, imo at least, I think that's an important distinction to make. And I think it was an important distinction for Clarke too.
So do I think it would've been some moment of Lexa being entirely ~too Heda~ and Clarke just smooching her face off? Honestly, no. While that would've made for a fantastic moment to watch 🥵, I actually think it would've been a quiet moment of Lexa just being Lexa. Her saying or doing something with more meaning or emotion or vulnerability than she normally does. A moment of her showing Clarke yet another piece of that girl hidden beneath the sash of her duty that just hit her like an arrow right between the cracks of Clarke's already crumbling resolve.
But either way, emotional or situational, there'd always have to be a tipping point.
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ok COULD just be me conjuring stuff out of thin air but in the scene after Darth maul chokes Bo while pre vizsla LETS IT HAPPEN (even encourages it), when she walks into the tent behind him, she looks really hurt/betrayed which is understandable given the circumstances but i just thought it important to point out since she was always vizsla's loyal supporter and never questioned his rule. this was one of the first times that she seemed to question her choices and didn't have that permanent frown/evil grin etched on her face. she almost looks scared of him.
PLUS the way he didn't flinch at her being hurt and almost killed makes me think that the scar on her forehead was from him, either as a punishment for failure or in a moment of rage.
i wanted to comfort her but i could not which lead to a considerable increase in my hatred for the one and only, pre vizsla!😄😄
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