SO what i would've done in my epic perfect ending to the umbrella academy is:
EITHER
- ok, if we must do the downer ending where they sacrifice themselves to save the entire world and must no longer actually exist. what would've been a lot more satisfying and clever in addition to that is: the umbrella academy comics exist in the new world.
Claire is the writer/artist mastermind behind the series, because she has this strange near-memory of someone once telling her these bedtime stories about a group of dysfunctional but endearing superheroes. she assumes it must've been her imagination, but still, there's a resonating echo of love.
boom. our brellies live on and get to learn and grow and be happy in some way, even if it's in fiction.
OR
- when Five is talking to all the versions of himself in the Five Diner, he first thinks it's the whole family that's the problem with the timeline and yeah, that they'd need to die so everyone else could live, but then!
the other versions of him tell him that no, it's not the whole family that's the wrench in the gears of the universe. it never has been. it was him.
this whole time, he's been looking for answers in every direction but within. he was the only variable he hasn't considered, the last unknown.
more specifically, it was him leaving his family that broke the timeline and caused the curse of the inevitable apocalypse.
that led to the Commission, to the Kugelblitz, to the Umbrella Effect/Keepers Cult - to every possible bad ending, in every timeline Five and Lila ever saw.
so, uh... maybe after a conversation with Diego and Lila if they wanted to resolve that whole situation more.... maybe after a conversation with Viktor (Five's childhood best friend, despite the show literally always forgetting about that)...
Five gets on the timeline train one more time, then jumps back to the day he ran away. maybe he's young again but with all his memories intact, because he's figured out how to control that now, maybe he just tells his younger self not to mess with time travel or leave home.
either way, Five goes back to dinner. then he grows up with everyone.
Ben doesn't die, because Five being there helps save him somehow. Klaus gets better, Allison learns to let go, Diego and Luther reconcile, and Viktor has a best friend to tell him he's always been special, and help him sort out his powers properly.
Lila and the other Sparrows and Jennifer are still alive in this version of events, they just grew up differently, in different places and circumstances. they all find their way to the Hargreeves, because of course they do. Allison has Claire. my beloved Grace is there.
Reginald dies, and they dance at his funeral. the world doesn't end eight days from then, or any time after that.
the show ends with the gang dancing to I Think We're Alone Now, but they're in the same room this time, all together in their old house, and everything is the way they've always deserved.
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lmao the rival dynasts are fighting and they're fucking it up for everyone else at a record pace
this tweet made me laugh, and I frequently make political comparisons between these specific groups of people, so now it's finally a comic
regarding the OctavianOctaviaAntony Uniteam Alliance
Octavia Minor and the Transition from Republic to Empire, Katrina Moore
in the red panel, which is an obvious anachronistic soup of events happening all at once: we have on the left: messalla corvinus
Alternative Memoirs: Tales from the ‘Other Side’ of the Civil War, Kathryn Welch
and then octavia (in despair & weaponizing that sacrosanctity to turn rome against antony), some kids (the two closest to antony are the twins, but tbh you can just kind of. pick whoever from the soccer team of kids antony had)
octavian and antony's back and forth is referencing suetonius augustus 68 and 69 (specifically: Antony also writes to Augustus [...] "What has made such a change in you? Because I lie with the queen? She is my wife. Am I just beginning this, or was it nine years ago? What then of you — do you lie only with Drusilla? Good luck to you if when you read this letter you have not been with Tertulla or Terentilla or Rufilla or Salvia Titisenia, or all of them. Does it matter where or with whom you take your pleasure?") and also the whole. thing. about antony's will. that sure was something.
the herod comment from kleopatra is referencing all of this
Mark Antony: A Biography, Eleanor Huzar
AND FINALLY. the art in the inset panels are from The Roses of Heliogabalus, Lawrence Alma-Tadema
⭐ places I’m at! bsky / pixiv / pillowfort /cohost / cara.app / tip jar!
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one thing i am really noticing on this rewatch is how long it takes for silver to start looking like silver. seeing him in (especially in the early part of) s1 always feels so jarring to me idk why but with everyone else already having their Look down (character driven style pivots of flint and eleanor nonwithstanding) he still feels very Unformed.
idk if thats just me on my nth rewatch projecting my foregone conclusions and opinions abt him as a character on him but i do think even w the change he undergoes being a very gradual one (unlike the previously mentioned pivot of eleanor from Pirate Boss to Ladywife or flints buzzcut of grief and political radicalisation), there is a definitive period where he is not yet locked in, so to speak.
i think what gets me as 'not silver yet' is him being clean shaven and that he wears light colours but genuinely. thats a chameleon still deciding which colour to turn while it watches the room and once hes decided with whom to side he commits not only to a 'personality' but also to a wardrobe style which in his case is first unassuming dark clothes and growing his hair and beard and then slowly bit by bit hes adding details like necklaces and rings and starts wearing his hair differently etc until he ends in his Coat Era once he starts to assume real power as he begins the transformation from 'john silver' into 'long john silver'
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tbh in my mind the reason odysseus says "cut off their tails,we're ending this now, throw their bodies back into the water, let them drown" despite the fact that they are sea sirens could be like. you know. a dolphin situation. where like they still need air to survive, and without the ability to swim and resurface they'll drown
does this make sense...
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I lost one of my chickens :( she was caught and carried away by a fox... I’ve been growing complacent about my chickens’ safety I think because we’ve only had one other attack before, a goshawk that swooped in abruptly (unsuccessfully), but no fox sightings nearby so I’ve been assuming Pandolf was a great deterrent. Which he is, just not foolproof. I’ve talked to some people in town about this and they were pretty philosophical about foxes stealing chickens, like “it’s the tribute we pay to woodland animals, it’s just a few hens here and there.” I don’t begrudge the fox for being a fox, if anything I have a renewed respect for foxes because everyone I talked to proceeded to give me their best / worst fox stories, and most of them involved foxes outsmarting humans (learning people’s habits / timetables, opening latches, faking a limp...) Still I feel terrible for my hen, she was only three. RIP Cordy :( You’ll be remembered fondly... (except by the cats.) I feel bad for the other hen too, who just lost her pal!
When I said that last thing, one of my neighbours jumped on the opportunity to try and convince me again to accept a rooster from him. He had a rooster baby boom last summer and I’ve been telling him for months that I don’t need a rooster, I don’t want to raise chickens I just want eggs, and his new argument was that a rooster would protect my hen (or if it comes to that, would heroically sacrifice himself rather than let the hen be eaten—I’m sceptical...) I asked around for a young hen but there aren’t any to be had in this season, so my remaining one is going to be alone until the spring, and my neighbour said she’d get stressed and male company is better than no company. (I wish I could ask my hen what she wants! Maybe she’s penning A Coop Of One’s Own as we speak.) I said the rooster was more likely to stress her out and harass her and he said nah they’re free ranging all day, it’ll be fine, and he’s young so your adult hen will boss him around. I was like, but then will he be any good at protecting her? etc. etc. and after a while I caved in.
When I told her about this on the phone my mum sighed “you’re terrible at saying no”—excuse me, I said no so many times and the guy just kept ploughing on until he could foist a rooster upon me. I’m good at saying no, other people are terrible at hearing it! I reassured her that I had only agreed to take the rooster for a short probationary period, and if he bothers my hen too much I’ll drive him back to his native farm. My mum was like “Drive him back? look I’m sorry I raised you as a city kid but there’s no need to waste gas on driving a rooster around, I’ll have no qualms about wringing his neck for dinner if he’s more trouble than he’s worth.” The rooster’s fate is not sealed though, if he is anywhere from vaguely useful to not actively problematic I’ll keep him, so we’ll see...!
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