#i wanted to get him a book after work but im very indecisive

[fritzllang]

happy sant jordi to my catalan followers! (if i have any). boyfriend got me a pretty rose

[darlingkirstein]

im just curious about your headcanon for their job (for eremika and jeanpiku if that's alright)

this question has truly thrown me for such a giant loop because im super indecisive! so i thought instead of choosing one option, i could list a few plausible options for the characters! these are just the jobs that came to mind for some reason. im sure i could come up with others but this are the first that i decided on, and i tried to choose jobs that are a little more unorthodox to be unique 🩷

also sorry for how long this has taken ! i know you've been waiting for this for a while 🫶

Eremika

— Eren Jaeger!

Physical/recreational therapist: I can imagine him wanting to help people but not wanting to be a hospital doctor or anything like that. He seems like he'd be a pretty active guy so I think a job where he gets to help people and also move around and help clients move around and recover from injury would be both fulfilling and fun for him at the same time! Or even recreational therapy, getting to help people through different activities!

Small business owner: I can see him taking the charge and owning his own business, maybe with the help of his parents with a small investment to get it started. Mikasa might also help with this when she has spare time because she wants to support him! I'm thinking something that incorporates his love of cooking, like a bakery or food shop?

Stuntman/stunt coordinator: This one is more for fun but I love picturing him as a stunt man for movies. He would get a kick out of the thrill it gives him if he's actively participating or he'd find it satisfying to coordinate really interesting stunt work. Mikasa would always be fearful that he's gonna injure himself.

— Mikasa Ackerman!

Bookstore employee: I don't know why, but I think Mikasa would love working around a quiet environment with books. Getting to provide recommendations and organize the shelves makes her feel accomplished without over-stressing her. She loves reading so the employee discount is definitely a big benefit.

Speech-language pathologist: I'm biased here because this is what I'm studying! But I think Mikasa could thrive in this job! Getting to help people struggling with communication is really fulfilling and she gets to challenge herself to find creative solutions. I think she would love working with children, helping them fix their speech sounds, or even with adults, helping with different disorders.

Daycare owner/lead employee: I think a lot of us agree that even in our modern AUs, Mikasa didn't have the happiest childhood. So, I think she tries to make sure that other children have the best possible childhood around. She would be very attentive to all their needs because she's naturally great with kids. Eren would find this so endearing and it would really give me lots of baby fever when she comes home and talks about the kiddos.

Jeanpiku

— Jean Kirstein!

Gonna start off by saying that I feel like Jean initially settles for an office job because he feels like he has to be a big breadwinner and have a stable, high-paying job but it ends up making him rather miserable so he quits to pursue other jobs.

Art restoration: I know the idea of Jean being an artist is kinda overplayed since he only draws once but I am so attached to it. But here I'm specifically thinking of him restoring old/damaged paintings for museums or for people's personal collections. He probably finds comfort in seeing the pretty paintings come back to life after being so dull. He takes it super seriously since it's so technical so he's very proud of his work and the results!

Something in the restaurant/food industry: Jean loves cooking so much! He would want to share his cooking with others. He might work at a restaurant making good or maybe even as a cooking instructor? I think that even if his job isn't in the food industry that he still volunteers his time to cook for people in need because it's something he's passionate about.

Art therapist: In a similar vein to art restoration, I am imagining him as an art therapist, trying to help people with their struggles through various forms of art. It's probably therapeutic to him, so sharing that therapy with others is so sweet to me. I think would love to work with children especially, just getting to see them smile after they've gone through some rough things :)

— Pieck Finger!

Something in journalism: Pieck would get a kick out of writing small articles for different papers or magazines, or even in the newspaper (even if it's a dying medium). She gets to show a more creative side while making a living and she also gets to work from home which is great because she's kind of a homebody! She gets to be comfortable while writing her fun articles :)

Accent/dialect coach: This is also kind of a half-serious one like the stunt coordinator one for Eren. I feel like Pieck would be weirdly good at accents, like stupidly good. So she might have fun working with actors either in bigger shows/movies or in local theatre productions to change accents.

Editor: Another job that could be done from home, I think she would like editing people's books or articles or anything to make them better. She finds it fun and satisfying to correct mistakes and make suggestions, and it's so fun because she can work on stuff from her bedroom if she so desired. Maybe she both writes and edits and just switches off depending on the day/helping out her writer friends by editing their work for them.

[dumbasswhatever]

Yoooooo I got a book that made me experience mental illness in a positive way, It's Omniscient Reader's Viewpoint. It's a korean webnovel. It's about Kim Dokja, who's an average office worker, who just finished reading a webnovel, Three Ways of Survival, and the sole reader to read it until the end. Then, everything that the novel was about actually happened, so now he is thrusted into this apocalyptic world and have to survive in it.

This novel makes me crazy bc it discuss the way some people who read to survive, to live another day. Is it voyeuristic to see the characters suffering in order to live? If the characters were right in front of you and know that you read their stories, will they hate you? Resent you? For only watching and never helping? Are you, the reader, absolved of your sins, to know that these tragedies are made for your consumption?

Usually novels that goes this route will slander the readers sayin that you are bad, but NO this novel said the characters will love you, for reading their stories, for being there in suffering and in happiness. The stories will love you so, so much it will try to save you, even if it means that the characters have to go through it, the damned timeloop, again and again, to see a happy ending with you. You are doomed by narrative but they will try again and again to save you, until the very end.

It's a love letters from authors to readers who read to survive, and it resonates with lots of people who read it. And it fucks so harddddd it uses all the so called cringe cliches and tropes and embrace it and it goes HARD. It's not a novel based on logic, it uses storytelling components like themes, tropes, cliches and such as world building materials and it flows smoothly.

Also Kim Dokja made me so ill, this bastard is so depressed, full of self-denial and suicidal. He adopts kid and became an absent father. Everytime he made a plan, it will include a) if don't work kill myself or b) if killing self don't work, escalate situation so it fucks everyone in vicinity, he keeps saying "oh i do this selfishly. Im gonna reach an ending where everyone i love live happily and i am doing this for myself and myself only". He thinks he is unlovable. His self-denial is so strong it's literally parts of his skills. His companions are going crazy cause this man CANNOT stop throwing himself headfirst into danger. Have I mentioned the queerest polycule ever between the book's protagonist, kim dokja, and a hack author? They all said that the really can't stand each other BUT THEY ALL LOVE EACH OTHER SO MUCH IT BECAME A DAMN UROBOROS OF A TIMELOOP, SAVING EACH OTHER AGAIN AND AGAIN.

Okay anyway I'm normal again. Read ORV if you want. But be warned cause many people aren't normal after reading it. Engard

alright alright sorry for the ever so late answer, i would have answered your ask right away but see i was... indecisive. i began reading orv about a year ago but i got about 70 chapters in and then got distracted. (NOTHING against orv here. i can get distracted and abandon literally any story ever. i still haven't finished watching the ace attorney anime.) and so i know already that i like orv and i think it is so very fun, and i have been thinking recently about getting into it again and maybe actually finishing it this time, but i wasn't totally sure if i should start now since i'm gonna be getting some books in at the library... but anyways i gave in and i am having a BLAST. love this little freak kim dokja. right now, dozens of people are trying to assassinate him and he's like "well don't worry about that we don't have to fight them. the monsters are about to appear." i have orv downloaded on both my phone and my laptop so i can read it while i brush my teeth and also while i eat cereal in the morning. who even needs youtube. i am going to be so annoying to my sister about this

[endlich-allein]

Interview with Till about his life: he fought with his father, killed his beloved dog, swam on a wild river and worked on suffering. How Till Lindemann's mind works

"I will finish you off" and why you fought for the German army.

Werner Lindemann wanders around the room, interrupting the silence with strange questions, writing something down. His motive is to get to know his son and make him a friend. But it's complicated. Generational conflict.

"My island of tranquility is shaken every day. The day before yesterday, a guy pulled on my socks because his were torn. Yesterday he didn't put out a single lamp in the house. Now, with voluptuous delight, he spits cherry pits into the cat's fur. Is this grown boy really an adult?"

The apprenticeship in Rostock, where you have to do window production after graduation, is the limit of boredom. Till Lindemann moved to his father in the countryside so that he could forget about the hustle and bustle of the city and not fall under the article for anti-social attitudes. He thought of a new life, in which there was no pointless work, and arranged an attic in his father's house.

In the mornings over coffee, he scolded life that everything went according to schedule. And listened very loudly to music - electronics and metal. My father didn't understand and grumbled: “I matured late. Naturally, I wanted to listen to the music I liked, but I could not get my hands on these records. For example, my father did not understand when I bought the Alice Cooper record for a month's salary.

Werner Lindemann was a children's writer who went through the war.

At the height of his career he disappeared for weeks on literary tours - his fame spread to teachers and librarians across the country. His father pecked at Lindemann for refusing to work and promised to turn him in:

"My willful child. What doesn't fit his standards is rejected as nonsense or crap." So he took a job as a carpenter, where he made shovel cuttings and cart wheels. The head foreman constantly drank vodka during the day, didn't want to be annoyed with questions and addressed the long-haired Lindemann with the nickname: "Mozart!" This suited him.

Werner Lindemann talked about war, hard existence and limitations. For example, about a grenade splinter that remained in his body. Lindemann did not believe in all these stories - but categorically did not accept service, war and murder:

“After that I objected: “I would hide, I would not go to war. Why did you even let yourself be dragged into this? You could have hidden."

And he said: “It didn't work out. They searched for it and it took away."

Then I said: “I would rather go under arrest. Never in my life, I would go to the front line to shoot people. It's against my nature. It would be better if I went to jail."

Much of the time father and son were simply silent, even while watching television.

"He regularly made me feel guilty, to say the least, he placed himself on a pedestal towards me: I shouldn't complain. At your age, I ran barefoot through the stubble, and in my stomach - a potato in a uniform."

The only acceptance is Mike Oldfield's music: "One day my father came to grumble again. At that moment I was listening to Mike Oldfield, and he sat down and said: "That sounds interesting."

For me it was like a quantum leap: my father sits in my room, listens to my music and thinks it was good. Probably because of melancholy. He was sitting in a rocking chair that I made myself - at the time I was working as a carpenter on a farm. I, too, always sat in an armchair, immersed myself in music and smoked hand-rolled cigarettes."

The conflict was intensified by a fight. Lindemann bought a Trabant car, installed speakers in it and tested the sound - loud as usual. “Then my father came and I had to turn off this fucking music. It was kind of loud for him. He was then fiddling around his cases of flowers, and then suddenly the situation escalated. I think he slapped me while I was still in the car.

He leaned toward me and hit me with the back of his hand. I made some bullshit remarks like, "Leave me alone," something like that. That was a provocation to him, and he said: "If you do that again, I'll hit you for real." And I said, "Then you'll get it back. Because you're crazy. Don't you dare to hit me anymore."

And then he hit me with his palm again. He wasn't controlling himself.

He was exalting himself. Instantly he introduced himself as a boxer - he had boxed in the Hitler Youth - and I just... I thought I didn't hit him, I just pushed him away. And then he stood in front of me again, "Come on, I'll finish you, you haven't got a chance!" Somehow. After that, he went up to the attic and threw all my stuff out the window.

It happened over the weekend, my sister was there, a lot of screaming, serious drama. Then I packed my things, put them in the car, went to a friend's house and never went into his house again. At first I lived with this friend, and a week later I bought myself a house in the village."

His father's book is about his son, which the son will only open up after the death of the father.

Lindemann is a late child. He was born when his father was 36. The gap in their relationship was felt in everyday life and perception of the world. Werner Lindemann woke up early in the morning, worked with the circular saw under the windows and did not understand when his son slept until noon after a working week.

Lindemann's parents then lived separately, but kept in touch. Mom worked as a journalist and discussed her texts with his father. "She still lived in Rostock and always came to see him only on weekends. Mostly on Sundays she came back quite early, because she couldn't stand the stress of being with him, either."

In 1988, the book “Mike Oldfield im Schaukelstuhl Notizen eines Vaters" In this book, Lindemann Senior describes the relationship with his son (whom he calls Timm in the book), who settled with him at the age of 18. The book was written in the 80s and laid on the table until the German Democratic Republic and the Federal Republic of Germany were reunited.

Werner Lindemann wanted his son to take up writing too. But this only amused him, although as a child he wrote poetry. At the age of 13, little Till Lindemann and his father were returning home along the bumpy road to Mecklenburg. They talked about career self-determination:

"You should already have thoughts about what you want to become, boy." My answer: "I don't know yet, maybe a fisherman on the high seas."

But immediately, no matter what I said, objections arose: “But then you have to get a certificate of maturity. But then you will be away all the time. But then you won't be able to start a relationship."

There was always a “but”.

At some point it got on my nerves, as usual. And I said: "Worst case scenario, I'll just become a writer.

I still remember how alienated his face became. "And what do you think then, what do I do! It's a very hard job! In fact, it's not even a job, it's a passion. And it's a job that's supposed to be enjoyable."

I said, "I don't know anybody who works with pleasure."

"Yeah, that's the problem. You have to look for a job that gives you pleasure." Then I say again, "But some people never get to choose..." This gigantic discussion happened because I didn't take his profession seriously. At the same time, he was completely lost, funny!"

Lindemann thoughtfully read his father's book, in which he comprehends their relationship, after his death. Faked for hidden anger and indecision. For example, in a situation where their dog Kurt was bitten by a fox. The father was frightened because of rabies: “At the same time, we did not even know whether he was bitten by a fox or not. The father immediately called the huntsman. But I said: no one will enter this courtyard and shoot the dog. I'll do it myself if I really need it. At some point I really had to kill the dog."

Lindemann is not a monster. The animals he fiddled with are an important attribute of childhood. He had an aquarium and hamsters, brought mice and rats home, and was friends with dogs. “Like many children of new buildings, he felt the need for someone alive, in need of love,” said Werner Lindemann. Sometimes the appearance of an animal in the house was surprising:

“This guy will never say what he's up to. He appears on the doorstep at the same time as me. He gets out from his vehicle, throws his coat open and puts a young black shepherd in my hands. "Your Christmas present!"

Till's father is speechless. My son stands before me like the sun's little brother. Touchingly concerned, he directs me into the house, working out a plan for the animal husbandry, accommodation and diet of our new pet housemate.

With confusion, a question flies from my lips, "Wheredid you get the dog from?" "Timm" is gibbering, "Imagine, the mason in the barnyard wanted to hang him, simply wanted to strangle him with a rope, said he was a worthless eater..."

Werner Lindemann died of stomach cancer in 1993, when his son was 30. They didn't finally reconcile, but Till visited him in his last days and was there for him with his mother: "They couldn't be without each other, even though they lived apart. Unreal, but my mother never had another man afterwards. To this day she can't let go of him."

- Not going to the Olympics in Moscow and ending up in the German ghetto

Lindemann had the knowledge and the potential to be a swimmer. And a shyness that pounded harder three days before the competition than concerts in front of crowds of thousands. "I know how difficult it is to develop willpower and stamina and instill those attributes. In the GDR this was instilled in us by coaches and so-called functionaries."

Lindemann came to swimming at the age of eight and devoted his entire youth to the sport. He would get up for training at five in the morning and pass out in the evening. His grandmother watched him from the stands. At a competition in Leipzig she shouted at the coach, who told Lindemann off for a poor result. The grandmother took the coach by the ear and said: "How do you talk to my grandson?"

Sports tightened up his upbringing and developed self-discipline. “Drilling - probably the boy has already received this experience as a swimmer,” Lindemann's father wrote. - Once he had to take second place in a competition, but by no means first place. Of course, he got carried away, forgot about it, became the first, thanks to which he received a shouting for indiscipline. And whenever he lost in the future, his coach would torture him at practice for a long time and yelled at him: "Even if you win, you're not a winner yet!"

Lindemann swam the 1.5 km freestyle and could have gone to the 1980 Olympics in Moscow. Everything was ruined when he left the hotel without permission during a competition in Florence: "I didn't want to run, but just wanted to look at the city. Cars, bikes, girls. I was caught and kicked out of the team, but then I didn't give the required results either."

Lindemann competed at the European Junior Championships, but did not go any higher. After the story in Florence, his career in sport slipped away. Perhaps an abdominal injury influenced his departure. Lindemann is gone, but he doesn't yearn: "I was relatively young. There were no good [memories] left. I was glad it was over."

"The hardest part was getting back to normal. I fell into a real hole. My home was no longer a sports school, but a ghetto in Rostock. Now I stood out through drinking and fighting. I used to be surrounded only by beautiful ladies who were interested in swimming. Now I had fierce women standing in front of me asking, "How come you don't drink?" When I was shy about approaching a girl, it was interpreted as: "Are you gay?"

Lindemann now works with a coach and swims a few kilometers before his tours to get in shape: "When I exercise, I feel a certain lightness - not only physically, but also mentally. I just feel better. The main problem is staying in shape. That's where self-discipline comes into play. Teeth grinding is important."

- Three weeks in the wild and loneliness as a creative tool

Emotionally, concerts = sports:

"How do I go on tour? Hungry. And happy. It is good to compare concerts with sport. You don't want to do both at first. You don't want to go on stage. You don't want to go to the pool. You don't want to go to the boxing ring. It all happens with reluctance. It has to be accepted somehow, that's life: spring, summer, fall, winter.

When it's done, winter's gone, the blooming begins, greenery appears, it gets bright, and you start to get a taste for it. When it's over, you feel happy. Then the body produces a sea of chemistry, a lot of happiness hormones. I think the body rewards itself."

The stage, like sports, is an embarrassment, but a necessity. Lindemann wore dark glasses in order to collect fewer views from the audience. Therefore, a couple of steps before the water, he looked at the pool with a shiver. You need to cope with yourself in order to open up to new emotions.

Lindemann's gut requires solitude and moderate solitude. This is the point:

“Loneliness is always good for a creative push - you drink a glass of wine and you feel even shitier. Art is not complete without suffering; art exists to compensate for suffering."

With his friend Joey Kelly, Lindemann spent three weeks on the Yukon River. They paddled through the wilderness in a kayak for eight to 10 hours each and lived in a tent. Lindemann didn't take a tape recorder with him, so he transferred the lyrics wandering in his head on paper.

They were catching inspiration and atmosphere:

"There were times when we wouldn't say a word for hours, but then: look there, look there! It was breathtakingly beautiful. These relatively fast-changing panoramas and skies, layers of clouds, the colors.

Except for a few bears and wolves, it's hard to see anyone else out there, it's exhilarating. Along the way we saw two hunters setting traps. No one else.

I grew up in the countryside, and I have a very strong connection to nature. I love fishing, hunting. It's an archaic experience that I like to revisit over and over again. When I'm in the city for too long, I start to miss it."

To recreate situations in the Yukon, Lindemann and Kelly trained for nine months on the Rhine river in Germany because of its liveliness.

"We went down the Rhine to where the transport ships create huge bow waves. If we hadn't had a coach with us, we probably would have been sunk by the side wave impact already during our first attempt," Lindemann said.

Together with Kelly, he had four sessions with two coaches and swam from Cologne to Koblenz [more than 100 kilometers by car]. Lindemann trained separately each week on the lakes in Mecklenburg. It's both physically challenging and savage identical to being natural.

In 2015, Till started his solo project Lindemann. On the album Skills In Pills, the song Yukon was released, in which the lyrics appeared first, and then the music.

- "My lyrics come from pain rather than desire."

The country boy is big and not much of a talker. That's how the Rammstein members saw him at the start, when they were hanging out at home. "He looked cool, like a big peasant talking one sentence an hour," keyboard player Christian "Flake" Lorenz recalled. - He always had food and vodka. He'd just steal a couple of ducks somewhere and cook them on a tray. And then, frozen like in Sleeping Beauty, there were people lying in corners and on trunks in his house."

Lindemann loves and appreciates home gatherings. This came from my father, who always had guests. “In my opinion, this is the little bit that I inherited from him. Throwing parties and gathering people. Throwing parties and getting people together. He just enjoyed being a good host. The house was always full of guests from Leipzig, from Rostock, foreign guests, even from Kazakhstan.

It was always exciting for him. He stood at the stove, cooked, bought an abundance of wine, and there was always a fire in the garden. At some point he stopped drinking, then he left the party at 21:00 and the whole company continued to feast. And in the morning he got up at four, cleaned and tidied up."

Till Lindemann is about self-digging, overcoming and childish shyness, which is covered by a pumped-up figure of a swimmer. This is how Lindemann decrypts himself:

• “And I really am like a big child - ill-mannered, but harmless. People think that I am always strong, explosive. This is not true. I am sensitive and easily hurt, but in love I am romantic and passionate."

• “At the very beginning, you sit somewhere in a dark room, open a bottle of wine and figure out how to make the lyrics popular with the music. At first you only have a vague idea of ​​what it could be.

And when, three years after recording, mixing, and more mixing, developing the artwork, all this nonsense, then you stand on stage, and what you came up with then really works, when you manage to get 20 thousand people to raise their hands, then you experience incredible sensations."

• “Art is a kind of therapy.

When I feel that something is arising inside me, domineering and is most often dark, I need to give it a way out, otherwise it will simply crush me. So destruction and self-destruction are the two pillars on which my creativity is based.

But everyone chooses this for himself.

• “My lyrics arise from feelings and dreams, but still more from pain than by desire. I often have nightmares, and I wake up at night sweating, as I see terrible bloody scenes in my dreams. My lyrics are a kind of valve for the lava of feelings in my soul.

We are all struggling to hide behind good manners and outward decency, but in fact we are governed by instincts and feelings: hunger, thirst, horror, hatred, the desire for power and sex. Of course, there is also additional energy in us - this is love. Without it, all human feelings would fade away."

- "When you're constantly living someone else's life, it's very hard to get back into your own skin. I like that in principle, but sometimes you start to get confused - are you out of a role or not yet. You're already Till, or you're still a homicidal maniac."

- "I hate the noise. I hate the chatter. I expose myself to it, which is pure masochism. And then I have to protect myself from it. Noise makes you crazy. You die in it."

• “I think there is no God. And if he is and actually allows all the misfortunes on this earth, then he must punish me along with other sufferings. I will not pray to such a god."

This is how the members of Rammstein see Till - flexible and with a split personality:

Guitarist Paul Landers: "Till is so good that when you let him know that his lyrics should go in a different direction, the very next day he brings a new version of the song."

Guitarist Richard Kruspe: “He's a hell of an extreme man. He dives very deeply into situations where I cannot follow him. Everything he does is very extreme; I don't know anyone who does it. "

Drummer Christoph Schneider: "I would not want to be in Till's shoes: his soul is tormented by doubts and contradictions, he is equally a moralist and a monster."

June 1, 2021 - Translate by Lindemann Belgium

[summertime4k]

forgetting to not forget you // karlnapity

AU: karl comes up with how to to stop all the bad from happening...but he has to sacrifice the ones he didn’t want to

A/N: sorry for any spelling mistakes, i spent all night proof reading lol. uh, let me know if you have any suggestions for other oneshots !! they don’t have to be karlnapity only :]

.

.

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Karl closed the book, running his hand through his hair as he thought about his plan carefully. surely, it would work, it had to. but was it worth it?

he wanted everyone to finally be happy. to bring peace for once and for all. he’d gone through hell and back; future and past. it seemed easy enough.

but it isn’t.

he looked behind him, the covers of the tales surrounding him. the stories he’d lived and seen. almost like if they were mocking him. laughing at how indecisive karl was acting, this should be an easy decision; risk losing the ones he loves, or have everyone be at peace.

letting out a loud sigh, karl walked backwards until his back hit the wall. he slid down and held his forehead to his hand. the headache getting worse and worse the more time went on.

peace or loss. peace or loss. peace or loss. peace or loss.

“karl? where are you?” sapnaps voice rang from above. the floor.

his eyes widened, he got up and shoved all his books into the chest, running up and starting to up the ladder until the trapdoor opened. Karl was met with Sapnaps face of confusion. “Karl? it’s been an hour, are you okay?”

“of course,” karl got himself up and moved sapnap far enough to where he couldn’t peak inside as he closed the door. “i was just doing some things- non important things that i got carried away with...”

Nodding to himself, not believing karl but deciding against interrogating him. “Okay...quackity made food by the way. he made birria?? i don’t exactly know what it is but it seems really delicious and quackity is really excited about it.”

“sure, i’ll be there in a bit, i need some books.” karl spoke, getting up from the floor and helping sapnap up. he softly kissed sapnaps cheek and smiled, “you can go on without me”

sapnap trusted karl. he nodded and pecked karl’s forehead after moving the hair covering it, “okay, but don’t take too long because quackity and i are probably going to down them all”

the two shared a laugh, forgetting as to why karl was in the hidden room. sapnap simply turned around and started to make his way out the library and back to their home.

karl’s eyes followed sapnap, his heart fell when he realized what he had to do. he ran his fingers where sapnap left the kiss, and thought about the countless other from both him and quackity.

He turned back around to the secret room and thought about his plan better. after much thinking, he knew exactly what he needed to do.

-

quackity and sapnap looked around the library as they ran in, looking for karl once again. the two were out of breath, but had bright smiles stuck on their faces.

“karl?! karl!! we-we have good news!!” quackity called out, “you’re gonna be so happy!!” he turned around and signaled to sapnap to go up the staircase.

he continued looking around the furniture in the library. the seats in the far corner were empty, and didn’t show any sign of karl having to be there recently. his eyes looked at the mushroom, something drew him toward it. his feet took him closer, placing his hand on the stem of it as he thought about karl.

one of the loves of his life- he no longer needed to worry about the past. they could all live happily together with no worry of a war that could be going on.

sighing, quackity looked around it, eyes fixating on a brown note taped on the stem. he’d try to get it, but his height wouldn’t let him. “sap!! i found something!!”

the stairs creaked, sapnap speeded down the stairs to where quackity stood. confused about the note as well, “you think it’s from karl?”

“shit, probably...”

the two stared at it for a little. they didn’t know if they wanted to read it. the pit in their stomach felt at unease, but their heart told them it was important.

Dear sapnap and quackity,

you’re probably reading this because you have good news. and i can’t wait to hear it!! just know that...i had to do something for this to happen. i’m not supposed to tell anyone about this, but because you’re my fiancé’s, i trust you two.

as you two know, i’m not exactly like you guys. one of the things that separates us, is my powers. i couldn’t tell you guys this because i feared that it cause for realities to shift. but after during more thorough research, i was able to decide that after this i can tell you guys. as long as you don’t tell anyone.

i can time travel. and i used it to my advatange to figure out how i can save our reality. and im going to do exactly that. which is why i’m writing this down before i do that. because it did come at a certain price.

if i used my powers the way i had to, it would wipe my memory. the only thing i’d know would be what i did, why, and how. i would lose my memory about the people i’ve met- which included the two of you.

but one thing i know for a fact, is that i know that our love won’t change. you’ll see why later in the future when we look back at this. but i just needed to tell you guys this.

and becayse i know everyone will ask why i don’t remember them, tell them that i fell from a really high place, and landed on an enderman. sorry to ranboo for that one, lol.

please, promise me; you won’t tell anyone about this anf why it happened. i’ll be in the hidden room under the trap door, i will probably be sleeping when you guys walk in.

with all my heart, in all timelines, i love you both.

sincerely, karl j.

Quackity looked up at sapnap, who had the same shocked face as him as they finished reading the letter. tears threatened to fall down their face as they processed everything they just read.

their fiancé could time travel, and he gave up his memory about everyone just to have everyone live in peace.

that was such a karl thing to do.

sapnap looked at the trap door, scared to get close to it. his feet felt frozen to the ground the more he stared at it.

“hey, sap,” quackity spoke, “karl said that our love won’t change no matter what. and i have a good feeling about it” he attempted to soothe his fiancé.

sapnap glanced at quackity, biting his lip and letting his hand make its way to quackity’s. drawing circles on it to calm himself down, “you’re right. karl wouldn’t lie...”

“that’s the spirit” quackity lifted their intertwined hands and gently placed a kiss on sapnaps. “it’s gonna be okay sap.”

nodding. the two began to step toward the door, anxiety circling around their minds as they began to unlock it. the pit in their stomach went into flames while they opened the trap door.

they started to make their way down the ladder, each step down sending their stomach down as well.

they noticed karl was laying on the floor, hair on his face, with his left hand covering the lower half. quackity and sapnap looked at each other, and back down at karl.

“should we wake him up?”

“would that be a good idea?”

the two debated on waking him up, failing on noticing the sounds of confusion coming from the melatonin filled voice that belonged to their love.

“wh...what?” karl’s voice softly rang through. sapnaps and quackity’s head whipping toward karl’s direction. “who...what happened?...” he looked around, his left hand coming up to his head and rubbing his temple. his eyes finally locking with the two boys in front of him.

they looked heartbroken. no tears were visible, but their eyes were like the ocean, pulling at the strings of karl’s heart the more he processed their facial expressions. he stood up, once again; scanning the room before standing a couple feet away from them.

karl looked down, blushing red as the two boys looked at him. his eyes darted around the room and and took in his surroundings. “did it- did it work??”

“mhm” they said in unison.

he looked back at them, trying to distinguish their face. “i don’t...i don’t recognize you guys...who are you?”

it stung their hearts as the words left karl’s mouth. “we are- we...” the two failed, they looked at each other, then at the paper between them.

“maybe this can help?” sapnap asked as he handed karl the paper. “you left this the other night, maybe it can help...”

accepting the paper carefully, karl moved his hair and began to read it. the two fiancé’s stood there, waiting for him to finish reading it.

after a couple of minutes, karl looked up slowly with his mouth slightly open, “i- i- we’re all- we’re fiancé’s??” he curiousity rang in his voice, looking at sapnap and quackity with wide eyes. “the- the two of you...love me??” he asked, slowly letting himself sit down again.

“very much, karl,” quackity said, sitting in front of him as he brought sapnap down with him. “sap and i are so happy to have you back”

[dylanhawth]

[ LORENZO ZURZOLO, CISMAN, HE/HIM ] shh ! DYLAN HAWTHORNE, the TWENTY year old SECOND year ANTHROPOLOGY major from HARTFORD, CT is known as a TOURMALINE  around here. HE was invited to join because HE PUBLISHED A COLLECTION OF SHORT STORIES ANONYMOUSLY THAT GARNERED A BIT OF FOLLOWING AND RECENTLY STEPPED FORWARD AS THE AUTHOR, and now, they’re here to stay. HE reminds me of THE NERVOUSNESS OF A FIRST KISS, LEAVING SECRET MESSAGES IN LIBRARY BOOKS, DRIVING AIMLESSLY WITH THE WINDOWS ROLLED DOWN ON A WARM SUMMER NIGHT WHILE THE RADIO HUMS A PLAYLIST CURATED FOR YOU BY YOUR BEST FRIEND.

[ big ass bio ] | [ connections ] | [ pinterest ] | [ playlist ] 

ooc. 

omfg hello. i can’t tell you how excited and happy i am to be here. i was too nervous to apply for the last three months but i decided to stop being a Coward and just try. im SO happy to be here, it’s the highlight of my week tbh lmao. anyway i am mar, she/her, 24, est. i live in nyc and all i do is visit the planetarium and cry. i’m so fucking bad at these so im just gonna LIST things and hope you get the vibe. i am a pisces sun, scorpio moon. i prob have a napoleon complex a little bit lmao. my favorite social media site is goodreads and i get rlly sad when my friends rate books i love poorly dfljskdfs. i can touch my tongue to my nose. i eat a lot of persimmons. i have a favorite rock at my local park that i visit a lot. idk dfskjls. i’m v friendly tho so pls hmu. i send a lot of memes, and love making meme edits for the chars so im rlly sorry in advance if you guys hate that. 

01.      basics.

NAME.   dylan h. hawthorne. ALIASES. dyl, hawth.   AGE.  twenty. HOMETOWN. hartford, ct. GENDER.  cismale. PRONOUNS.   he/him.

 02.      appearance.

EYES.   green. HAIR.   brown. HEIGHT.   6”0 BUILD.   lean. BIRTHMARKS   /   BURNS   /   SCARS.   a birthmark the shape of australia on his left thigh. TATTOOS.   n/a. PIERCINGS.   n/a.

03.      habits.

ALCOHOL   ?  socially. SMOKING   ?  socially. HABITS.  fidgets in chairs. cracks knuckles and back often. nervous laughter. chewing on pencils. talking to his plants. dogearing books. staring off into space and applying chapstick for a prolonged period of time. getting overly competitive about boardgames. stress cleaning. carries a book in his bag always. night owl. incredibly impatient when the internet is slow. creature of habit when it comes to menus, orders the same shit over and over again. LIKES.   feeding the ducks at the local pond. the smell of the earth after a rainstorm. the way music sounds coming from another room. kissing. watering his plants. inside jokes. making wishes in fountains. discussing a recently finished book with someone. making handmade cards for friends on their birthday. fireworks. coming of age films. packages wrapped in twine. jogs. the way friday nights feels when you’re with someone you love. the feeling you get leaving the movie theatre. DISLIKES.   being late. having too many coins on him. coffee with no sugar. when people speak loudly in the library. doing laundry. handshakes with too much squeeze. receiving voicemails. untidiness. golf. charles dickens. lectures with no student input. hot weather. confrontation. being caught in a lie. losing his umbrella. people who cheat during games. rainboots. bad table manners. humidity.

04.      personality.

MYERS-BRIGGS.   infp. ENNEAGRAM. the helper. ZODIAC.   pisces. TEMPERAMENT.   melancholic. ALIGNMENT.   neutral good. ARCHETYPE.   the lover. POSITIVE.   empathetic. sensitive. intelligent. charismatic. easygoing. gentle. loyal. passionate. romantic. humble. supportive. gregarious. playful. diligent. NEGATIVE.   deceitful. gullible. finicky. naive. obsessive. perfectionistic. secretive. timid. possessive. weak-willed. indecisive. cynical. indulgent. summary: basically, dylan is a love starved, people pleasing nervous wreck. big ass nerd who wants to be everyones friend, wants to be liked SO BAD. very charming and charismatic, comes off as fairly confident and comfortable at first. is able to make everyone feel loved and like they’re the most important person in the world, however lacks a backbone. is both romeo and juliet, and just as dumb as both of them too. 

05.      hc’s.

dylan was a football player in high school, believe it or not. he was rather good at it too, which is sort of jarring considering his pacifistic nature. however, he DID land on someone incorrectly at some point during his senior year, and broke their wrist. he quickly abandoned the sport altogether because of how guilty he felt. 

touched on this briefly but dylan really… loves indiana jones lmao. like, it’s quite ironic given his absolutely inability to be a badass, and lack of suaveness. however, he admires indy’s lust for adventure. he also was obsessed with the mummy as a kid. both of these were incredible sources in his very irrational decision to sudden anthropology. however, he does really love and admire anthropology. his favorite ethnography is the spirit catches you and you fall down, which makes him cry like a little bitch every time he even thinks about it. 

he’s the second oldest, but he is also baby. he is SUCH a big momma’s boy. he misses his mom so much. he writes to her often, and of course calls her even more. despite being six-foot tall, he still goes home and rests his head on his mother's lap, falls asleep as she runs her fingers through his hair. he often tries to find native english plants and flowers to press, and mail back to his mother in the form of bookmarks. has nEVER STEPPED ON A CRACK IN HIS LIFE, BABY.

just leaves a shit ton of notes in books in the library. some are riddles, some are poetry, some are commentary on the book, some are doodles. just depends on how he’s feeling for that book. he doesn’t tell anyone he does it, but he’s waiting for someone to connect the dots with his handwriting and writing style. 

speaking of plants, his room is basically a big greenhouse. he has so many plants, and takes serious care of them all. he has a little humidifier in his space for them, marks down when he waters what plants, and has a label maker to label them all with a name. they are all named after shakespeare characters. 

dyl is a doodler, so much so that he contributes to the school paper as a cartoonist. his cartoons are usually just random thoughts he has, but sometimes they get political and he works marxism into them. (this man loves marx.) 

[ suicide implied tw, death mention tw ] he dresses like a victorian boy in love with his roommate who has recently died of scarlet fever and in his mourning, plans to disappear in the bog by the school by mysterious circumstances and become a ghost that haunts the college with his lover. like lots of gray and slacks and ties ands ties and sweaters, lol. also he has glasses that he never wears because he can never find them! catch him squinting in your classroom because he can’t see SHIT. too shy to ask you for your notes though, doesn’t wanna inconvenience you! but when he’s Out on the Town®, he fucking wears like, tacky patterned shirts that are expensive but ugly. someone please help him. 

all about fun socks! he loves owning socks that have dumb little images on them. if you get him a pair of fun socks, he’d absolutely go nuts. his entire week: made. 

he leaves his roommate limericks when he senses they are sad. tapes em to the bathroom mirror or leaves them in the fridge. also loves buying people presents. tiny ones. like haunted looking things from second hand stores, or your favorite chocolate. also is the sort of friend that has EVERYTHING in his bag, in case someone cuts themselves or has a headache. can be a bit of a mom himself. it’s the little things, y’know? 

prob still in his emo phase. listens to way too mcr to not be lmao.

eco-friendly king, will not stand for you not recycling. 

if you will allow him, he will attempt to have a secret handshake with you. he’s a child. is dying for someone to memorize the parent trap handshake and indulge him. 

cannot sit still in a chair. fidgets an excessive amount, the bobbing of his knee and the squirming around. it just never ends. 

bi. that’s the hc.

he’s a little bit in love with everyone he meets if you couldn’t tell, and it’s fucking disastrous. 

he is based loosely off: patroclus ( the song of achilles ), ponyboy curtis ( the outsiders ), laurie laurence ( little women ), eduardo saverin ( the social network ), remus lupin ( hp ), oliver marks ( if we were villains. ) 

( @opalsmedia​ )

[dessarious]

Misconceptions, Miscommunication, and Misinformation Pt89

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When Selina went down to the lobby the next morning she found Chloe being yelled at by what she assumed were the girl’s parents. Studying the two she was less than impressed. Being Bruce Wayne’s fiance she’d seen all sorts of affluent people and social climbers. Far too many of them either treated their kids like garbage, or ignored them entirely. Given the research she’d done after leaving the girls last night, Chloe’s mother traded off between the two, and her father bounced back and forth between the first and treating her like a princess depending on his wife’s mood. Dysfunctional was too mild a term to describe it.

“I’m not going to let you waste my money paying for one of your low rent friends Chloe. It’s bad enough you forced us to let that crippled girl stay here but at least she’s not taking up an extra room.” The woman’s tone was like nails on a chalkboard. Chloe looked to be on the verge of tears but judging by her posture and the way she was clenching her fists they were tears of rage.

“Really Chloe you need to learn some responsibility. Charity is all well and good for publicity but if you give handouts to every sob story you encounter you’ll just end up broke. Then how will you pay for all your new shoes and jewelry?” Okay, it was officially time to end this bull shit.

“Chloe! Thank you so much for what you did last night. My fiance and I are so grateful for the way you helped me.” All three turned to look at her and it just made her want to slap some sense into the adults. Chloe looked relieved, though a little confused. The Mayor was giving her an annoyed frown while his wife was looking at her like she was garbage that shouldn’t be allowed near her. Oh that bitch was about to swallow her tongue. “I called Bruce and he said he’d call with his information since I still can’t find my wallet. It was so sweet of you to hold it for us. Your daughter is such an amazing problem solver.” Both parents blinked at her like she’d told them the world was ending.

“And who exactly are you?” Of course the mother recovered first. Selina was going to enjoy wiping that superior expression off her face.

“Oh, I’m so sorry for not introducing myself properly. I’m Selina Kyle, Bruce Wayne’s fiance. He’ll be joining me in a few days to visit his sons.” All the blood drained from the Mayor’s face and his wife’s jaw went slack with surprise. “I was just going to go stay with the boys when I realized I didn’t have my wallet but Chloe assured me you’d be able to work with me. I am sorry for any inconvenience the delay caused but I’m sure Bruce will be happy to compensate you for the trouble since your daughter was so helpful and accommodating. Now, if you two wouldn’t mind I’d like to steal her for a bit.” She put an arm around Chloe and dragged her away before either could get their bearings back.

“That was… I don’t even… thank you?” Poor kid sounded so confused.

“Any time. I live to create drama. Well, drama for other people at least.” Chloe just gave her an uncertain smile. “How’s Marinette doing this morning?” The girl let out a few curses before changing course to the front desk.

“I can’t believe I let them make me forget why I came down here in the first place.” When she got to the counter she cleared her throat to get the attendant’s attention. When he saw her he paled. “Excuse me but has anyone had time to-”

“Liquid allergy medication. You didn’t specify non-drowsy or not so we got both.” The poor guy practically shoved a bag at Chloe who just looked inside before letting out a relieved sigh. She handed the man some money and he looked like his brain melted.

“Thank you Armond. Please share that with whoever had to go get this for me.” She turned around and headed to the elevator. The desk clerk just kept looking between the girl’s back and the money she’d handed him in obvious confusion. That was something to ask about later. She caught up to Chloe just as she changed directions again, this time towards the front doors. There was a very large man arguing with two very nervous doormen. “It’s okay. I asked him here, you can let him in.” The two shared a relieved look and let the man pass. Chloe just motioned at him to follow her and went for the elevator again. The man glowered at Selina when she entered the elevator with them.

“Nice to meet you too.” That just got a grunt.

“It’s okay Digg. She knows and I’m fairly certain she’s on our side.” Another grunt. He was almost as expressive as Bruce. “I just need you to stay here and watch after Mari. Tikki will explain and help you with dosing.”

“What’s wrong with the Guardian?” Actual words. So he could speak. Wait Guardian?

“Pigheaded stupidity for the most part.” Selina couldn’t help the laugh that came out. Judging by her wince, Chloe hadn’t meant to say that out loud. “She’s having problems with insomnia and overworking herself. We’re trying to make sure she gets at least one day of proper rest so she doesn’t burn out.” Digg was frowning at her.

“You need rest too. I’ll watch over both of you.” Chloe opened her mouth to argue but Plagg flew out of her pocket and into her face.

“Digg’s right. You’re both unbalanced and being together will help the both of you remain calm. There are no immediate threats and you both deserve a break. You’ve been tense ever since you let her out of your sight and your parents just made matters worse.” Selina rolled her eyes. That had to be the understatement of the year. Looking at Chloe she could see the bags under her eyes and the obvious tightness around her mouth and eyes. She forced the girl to look at her.

“You can’t help anyone if you don’t take care of yourself. You said last night that there were other people who could handle any emergencies that may happen. You need to slow down and take a breath. I’ll run interference with your parents if need be and everything else can wait.” She was not prepared for the girl to burst into tears.

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[xnchxntmxnt]

Slowly figuring out wtf tumblr is, whatever

You know most of this stuff and I’m tired so...

1: Meg, according to you

2: girl she/her probably until I decide to stop procrastinating shit

3: 🤷‍♀️

4: ew I don’t like this one. To describe myself- snarky, stubborn, hopefully nice and funny. Hobbies- not enough. Piano, fencing, reading, letting you talk me into stuff like this. Idk. For the partner stuff just be fun to hang out with and don’t be an asshole

5: I really like alt fashion

6: mostly blues but ik you say bronze and I like those too

7: no clue it changes too much and I’m indecisive. Maybe this side of paradise again rn

8: halsey, Hozier, ATL. I also listen to acoustic versions of things a lot

MBTI: INTP

favorite show: NCIS Sherlock or mha Cz that’s what I’m watching rn. Can I say shadow and bone?

Favorite books/series: grishaverse, Shadowhunters, davinci code

Yay I’m done. Enjoy

So I did a lot of thinking on this...

You lucked out my dear

I’m gonna match you up with....

𝐵𝑜𝑘𝑢𝑡𝑜 𝐾𝑜𝑢𝑡𝑎𝑟𝑜

𝐻𝑜𝑤 𝑌𝑜𝑢 𝑀𝑒𝑡

Okay so

He’s not the smartest

People like to portray him as a complete idiot

I think he’s very emotionally intelligent

But that does not translate to book smarts at all

And finally akaashi (AGAAAASHI aka his best friend) convinced him to go to tutoring

And you being the responsible smart bby you are

Got paired with him to work for the day

And this dude couldn’t stop staring at you

You started trying to explain calculus to him and he just

👁 👄 👁

Staring

And flat out said “okay i...did not hear a word, can you explain that again?” because he wanted to hear you talk more

But eventually he broke himself of that and started getting really excited

Because!! He could do his homework!!

You did half of it with him and he went home and did the rest of it and it made. sense.

Ur magic, he’s sure

So he got ahold of his friend Akaashi and asked if he could try to find your Instagram or something

Which he did because he’s good like that

And bokuto messages you which basically looks like:

HEY HEY HEY MEGGY SO GUESS WHAT what I GOT ALL MY HOMEWORK good for you!! congrats, bokuto! THANK YOU I KNOW IM AWESOME BUT ALSO YOURE AWESOME THANK YOU FOR THE HELP anytime! HEY WHATS YOUR FAVORITE SNACK [snack here], why? ILL SEE YOU TMRW

you get to the room for tutoring the next day and there’s a thing of your favorite snacks with a little paper next to it

“Hey hey hey! Bokuto again! This part you don’t have to respond to if I totally got the wrong vibe, but I figured there’s no harm in asking. I wanted to repay you for all the help the other day, so I got you a snack for today...and y’know, maybe a date this weekend? Saturday night, dinner and a movie? I’ve got tickets for that new horror flick or we can go see something else if that’s not your style!. Have an amazing day, Meggy! -Kou”

With a little winky face at the end and a heart

Needless to say you went to that date, it’s bokuto, how could you resist

𝐺𝑒𝑛𝑒𝑟𝑎𝑙 𝐼𝑑𝑒𝑎𝑠

Alright when I say you lucked out

You LUCKED OUT with this man

He is

He’s so cute

And is such a good boyfriend

Like he’s naturally a very touchy person but if you’re not feeling it that day? No problem. He’ll do whatever you’re comfortable with

But if that means cuddling with you

Good luck getting him off of you

This man is 6’1” and 172lbs (via Fandom Wiki) of muscle and he’s

He’s such a cuddly baby you will not escape

He also loves having his hair played with so after a long day expect him to lay his head on your stomach/lap and demand that you play with his hair (but like gently)

King of pet/nicknames

Baby

Darling

Sweetheart

Love of my life

Beautiful

Sunshine

Expect a bunch of text and in that order too lol

He started calling you Meggy day one and he introduces you to his friends as “this is my Meggy but only I get to call them that”

He’s also king of compliments and randomly throws in new ones to see if you like it

Don’t worry about offending him, he just wants to know if you like being called cute, pretty, adorable, gorgeous, beautiful, etc.

So if you don’t like it tell him and he won’t do it anymore

But he’s still gonna find ways to compliment you

TW body insecurity you can skip this part

But bokuto is very tall and I have this image in my brain that like

He just naturally can’t get abs as easily as some of his friends and he’s insecure about that because he’s like rock solid muscle everywhere

But he’s got a little pudge and he doesn’t like it

So there’s that and stretch marks and all sorts of stuff

And there are some days he’s really upset about it and sometimes he’ll come to you and ask if you still think he’s handsome despite all that

And you just nod and kiss him and reassure him like you do every time

Not out of obligation, though—you just know what to do (after a little while) to work with him and make him happy again

Tbh give him tummy kisses he’ll be in love with you forever

Or if not just hold him close and tell him he’s handsome and cute and everything he wants to be but feels like he’s not

TW END

I’m gonna make you mad at me quick but I’ll keep this short

If/when you ever decide to process some things and decide you want to use more/different pronouns or something

He’s 100% here for you

He doesn’t care what you identify as (well he does that’s not the point though)

He just wants you to be you

The MOMENT you tell him any new name/pronouns/aNYTHING like that

He starts talking to himself in his room talking about you with the new thing

Changes your contact picture

Everything

Asks if it’s okay if he can tell Akaashi or kuroo so he can call one of them and talk to them about you for a while to make sure he gets it right

He loves you. Be yourself with him. That’s all he wants

And I’m always gonna be here for you too <3

Good morning and good night texts

He’s naturally an early riser so expect him to text you at like 5:30-6:00AM in order to say good morning

If it’s the weekend maybe closer to 8:30 but always before nine

And on Shabbat? Spams your phone and calls you when he knows you’re coming back soon

Just so he can say hi

And says “hiiiii” with this stupid lovesick voice and then goes on to ramble about how much he missed you and now he’s glad you’re back !!!!

I forget how old your youngest sister is but like these two? Best friends. Seriously. He’s so good with kids. The other one (yes I know their names I’m just being Internet safe lol but I know their names I swear) would probably love him too because how can you not he’s so cute

Overall he’s just a sweet amazing guy with a lot of energy and when he loves someone? He loves with his whole heart. He really does. And that means you

He’s also eye candy but that’s besides the point

You got a hot bf 😂

𝑀𝑒𝑔𝑘𝑢𝑡𝑜 𝐷𝑎𝑡𝑒 𝐼𝑑𝑒𝑎

Study dates

Convince me otherwise

U cant

Anyway

This man is so bad at studying but you have to give him positive reinforcement to keep him going

Which means kisses

And cuddles

And snacks

He eats all ur snacks but he always buys you random stuff so its okay

But there are some times where its a really really long day and he’s frustrated because he doesn’t understand and feels stupid

God i think he’d almost start crying bc this man actually acknowledges he has emotions

But he’d look up at you with the biggest puppy eyes ever and a little tear falls from his eyes and he starts apologizing

“I’m sorry I don’t get it--I don’t know why because it sounds so easy but I just--”

And it is now when you take this 6’1” absolute baby and pull him in and he curls up basically in your lap and lays his head on your shoulder until he feels better

Listen to him

Tell him it's okay

Play with his hair (because he loves it a lot)

And remind him you love him. Because he’s trying his best and he loves you enough to be this raw and vulnerable with you

𝑍𝑜𝑑𝑖𝑎𝑐 𝐼𝑛𝑓𝑜𝑟𝑚𝑎𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛

Taurus is known to be observant and strong people and Virgos are practical and loyal. Putting these two signs together can be a perfect match for the two of you as long as the both of you can get over a potential fear of being hurt. Because really, neither of you would intentionally hurt each other anyway.

𝐸𝑑𝑖𝑡!

𝑃𝑙𝑎𝑦𝑙𝑖𝑠𝑡

Pumped Up Kicks - Foster the People (this is off of vibes alone i swear)

Take It Easy - Surfaces

Talk Too Much - COIN

Follow You - Imagine Dragons

Gimme Love - Joji

𝑅𝑢𝑛𝑛𝑒𝑟𝑠 𝑈𝑝

Oikawa Tooru, Shimizu Kiyoko

[somnilogical]

im having a convo and the convo is babies

Carrie Zelda-Michelle Davis:

is it OK to have babies if you do embryo selection (https://www.gwern.net/Embryo-selection) and raise them to be an FAI researcher (https://slatestarcodex.com/2017/07/31/book-review-raise-a-genius/)??

somni:

like if someone actually had a plan for FAI that involved this, okay. but rn time is too short imo. when i first heard people were having babies i was confused and assumed they were going to harvest the DNA of the best FAI researchers, someone would decide to grow a baby inside them, someone who discounted their ability otherwise to save the world except via this or thought this was a sacrifice worth making for the world would decide to raise this human.

the human can access information about the state of the world and make their own choices. wont necessarily become an FAI researcher.

used to think that intelligence was the main bottleneck on FAI research no longer think this. you could talk with terry tao for hours about the dangers of the wrong singleton coming to power but unless you have made some advances i have not, i wouldnt expect to be able to align him with FAI research. he would continue to put as much resistance to his death and the death of everyone as a pig in human clothing. he would continue to raise his babies and live in a house with someone he married and write about applying ergotic theory to the analysis of the distribution of primes and understanding weather patterns.

similarly, i dont think culture is a sufficient patch for this. think its a neurotype-level problem where a bunch of >160 iq humans hear about the dangers of UFAI and then continue to zoom quickly and spiral in to being ultra efficient at living domestic lives and maybe having a company or something but not one that much affects p(FAI). think this would still happen if they heard about it from a young age, they would follow a similar trajectory but with FAI themed wallpaper. wouldnt be able to do simple utilitarian calculations like yudkowsky, salamon, vassar, tomasik about whether to have a baby and then execute on them.

would look more like: http://www.givinggladly.com/2013/06/cheerfully.html

FAI research is not an ordinary profession like, say, being a grandmaster at chess or a world-class mathematician; it requires people who have passed through far more gates than "intelligence". i didnt notice this until coming to the rationalist community and finding a high density of intelligent humans who were none-the-less chronically making the wrong choices such that they werent much of an impediment against the destruction of all life.

so right now it seems more efficient to select among existing people for intelligence + other requirements rather than work out what all the genes for this are and how to speedrun development. what this enables is parallel processing on the problem which is also allowed by letting people be aware of their relative psychological advantage, other people with this advantage, and the state of the world so they can correlate computations in parallel instead of doing things serially after learning of some advance.

https://puzzling.stackexchange.com/questions/16/100-prisoners-names-in-boxes

not opposed to creation of many humans given can select on right traits. but given you have these traits, better use of your time to work directly on the thing than spend massive amounts of time and life reorientation on raising copies of you for ~14 years. if rapid cloning tech became available, would exploit that. would even have an idea of whether the clone is fine being part of this because they have very similar brain to someone who can think through whether they would be fine with it.

if people actually believed this and thought yudkowsky vitally important for the survival of the world, why didnt people coordinate for a bunch of people who thought it was a good tradeoff to have yudkowsky's baby 20 years ago and then we would have maybe 50 20-year-old humans with maybe 1/2 yudkowsky's neurotype + mutations now? this actually confuses me. maybe they thought the timelines too short back then. maybe they refrained for "optics".

molebdenita:

20 years ago Yudkowsky was 1) unconcerned about the alignment problem and 2) planning to create a super-intelligent AI by 2010, as far as I know.

[A/N so then change 2000 to 2005 and 20-year-old to 15-year-old]

...

somni:

<<in general i think it's -EV to even spend too much time thinking about TDT

because it opens you up to acausal blackmail type stuff>>

Just Say No to acausal blackmail and have your brain back for thinking. dont let blackmailers steal your brain.

<<Saying that having a child is somehow wrong is insanity. It's a personal decision and it is perfectly okay to want kids>>

people keep reframing what i say in the language of obligation. "altruists cant have kids?" "is it OK to have babies if". there is no obligation, there is strategy and what affects p(fai). having kids and reorienting your life around them is 1 evidence about your algorithms 2 your death as an optimizing agent for p(fai) except maybe some contrived plot involving babies, but afaict there is no plot. just the reasons humans usually have babies.

not having kids is not some sort of mitzvah? i care about miri/cfar's complicity in the baby-industrial complex and rerouting efforts to save the world into powering some kind of disneyland for making babies, to sustain this. because that ruins stuff, like i started out thinking that bay area rationalists probably had deeply wise reasons to have babies. but it turned out nope, they kinda just gave up.

like also would say playing videogames for the rest of your life wont usually get you fai. i dont get why everyone casts this as a new rule instead of a comment on strategy given a goal of p(fai).

ah i know, its because people can defend territory in "is it okay to have kids" like "yeah i can do whatever" when they reframe-warp me to giving them an obligation. but have no defensible way to say "my babyvault will pierce the heavens and bring god unto the face of this earth" or argue about the strategic considerations.

(its not defensible because its not true. i mean i guess it is defensible among julia wise's group of humans.)

Carrie Zelda-Michelle Davis:

ugh, you're right, I definitely screwed up by phrasing my question as "is it OK to have babies if [...]"

...

ohAitch:

if you want existential horror wrt damaging motivation, just read http://www.paulgraham.com/kids.html

...

somni:

<<http://www.paulgraham.com/kids.html>>

humans can completely rebase their circuits through that if they want to if it were important to save the world.

like ive rebase my circuits to stab myself downstream of updating that it reduces braindamage with little harm to me. where before i felt nauseated and saw black spots and broke out in sweat. after updating, none of this.

humans can do this with all sorts of things. like learn how to read and then feel sad when seeing squiggles on a page, its about what things mean.

people who dont believe this are like "its an automatic physiological reaction to stabbing yourself, you are its prisoner!!!" but i deleted it.

dirk:

ooh, tips?

silver-and-ivory:

I stopped having ocd about touching tags (like, on clothing?) in ~a week through p standard exposure therapy things

reminding myself that it wasn't based in fact, changing my self image so it was of someone who might be seen with tags, imagining various scenarios related to that

before that week it had been a thing for virtually my entire life

it doesn't work if you're scared of something that's actually a thing to be scared of though

somni:

i looked at all my feedback loops that had a node in "pain" and rebased them into outcomes in the world. i disassembled everything the act of stabbing myself meant and all the damage it did to my body what it meant to have brain damage everything that would do, the hole i made in this body i live in and everything that would do, what air bubbles would do, what injecting into a vein would do, what the probability the needle breaks in my leg was, probability of worldsave given braindamage vs not, gathered this up and held it all in my mind over the course of two hours and then made a choice and then as if by automatic my hand took a needle and stabbed myself.

<<as if by automatic>>

is the feeling of no more marginal considerations, there is one path. of choicelessness because you made your choice.

didnt feel like deleting, felt like draining the life from indecision via reductionism. taking things apart piece by piece.

when you can continually rebase your structure so you orient towards world outcomes instead of being prisoner to existing structure like "i cant help having babies im miserable if i dont, im a baby addict" or "i cant help being afraid of needles". like the human brain is two optimizing agents continually making contracts with each other, there arent things outside this. you are an optimizing agent, "fear of needles" is a heuristic that helps with optimization, so is "baby addiction".

when you actually have a setup where you can instantly rebase what you like and dislike and your aesthetics upon updating on the state of the world, people start to find this a little unnerving. like someone once asked what level of roleplay i was on.

also the agents of the matrix dont like when you cant be in-principle controlled by a wireheady glitch. like being able to operate independently of social reality.

updating off of local derivatives¹ of social reality is common redirection. another common one is updating off of "pain" instead of damage.

but you can take all these choices where you used nodes as proxies to regulate them and rebase your loop off of the real world, when the proxies are faulty.

rose:

(i think i understand this thing? though ironically i think i did this in the exact opposite way as what you describe lol)

(also wrt pain its important to remember when modifying that pain can be a signal of damage even if you don't think you should be hurt/dont see why you would be)

...

somni:

yeah i account for everything and see if it goes away. which, its true that my models could be missing stuff but like pain is also a model of things. feels like giving new information not overriding.

rose:

yeah i think you would do this reasonably i have just made that mistake and thought readers might too

dirk:

ironically remembering that pain is a signal of damage has actually tended to make me more afraid of nondamaging pain (though i rather fail to go about knowing things in an at all reasonable way lol)

modlibdenita:

>Babies are not about saving the world, babies are moloch

Wait, isn't the definition of Moloch sacrificing everything else you care about in a desperate race for survival?

Also, genes encode proteins, not traits.

And I think it's likely that people decide to have children because they don't have complete confidence that they will personally save the world real soon, not because they identify as "baby addicts".

s0ph1a:

Moloch is sacrificing all values to one value.

modlibdenita:

I wonder if Somni has actually talked to any of those babyhavers, instead of attributing arguments from random internet strangers or from Somni's imagination to them. On the other hand, I'm not sure that such a conversation would be ethical.

>Moloch is sacrificing all values to one value.

Yeah, because if you don't, then the more ruthless competition will survive more effectively than you and crush you (in this case, by turning you into paperclips).

s0ph1a:

Not necessarily. Some things optimize for values that are not survival, so you can outlive them by hiding in the noise or beyond the reach they'll grasp before imploding.

Molly:

To be fair, children are fun and bring delight to me. Why would I care what anyone else thinks about their existence? If they have a problem with their existence, they're welcome to go back to the void any time they want. I can't stop them. But in the meantime, I am confident that I generate more utils by bullying them than they will ever be capable of generating negative utils

You basically negate all moral problems of children by just being happier than they are capable of being unhappy

somni:

^ evil

<<A few years later, I was deeply bitter about the decision. I had always wanted and intended to be a parent, and I felt thwarted. It was making me sick and miserable. I looked at the rest of my life as more of an obligation than a joy.>>

i mean what does this sound like to you?

ive talked with people who have had babies! like people who say they know its kinda the wrong choice but they are going to do it because they cant not do it.

----

¹ derivative is a thing emma started talking about and then somni and ziz picked it up. if you imagine the trajectory of a social reality in statespace, then the derivative of that is the derivative of the trajectory.

people who have damaged themselves wrt language are no longer able to dynamically understand analogies. like take their concept of the derivative of a trajectory and then apply it to the trajectory of state-spaces. agents of the matrix call people who can do this sort of info-processing and communication with each other "psychotic". like it isnt a cached set of memes, we are dynamically generating this reasoning from nothing and i can do this with people ive never met, its a cognitive faculty.²

but not being able to dynamically compute what "derivative" means when applied to a trajectory in social reality state-spaces even though a trajectory is a trajectory and a derivative is a derivative? they had to have been able to do reasoning like this when they were kids to learn about the world in the first place. seems like they put themselves on risperdal.

<<Antipsychotics can make you dumber.  So can a lot of other medications.  But with antipsychotics it isn’t the normal sort of drug-induced dumbness – feeling tired, or distracted, or mentally sluggish, say.  It’s more qualitative than that.  It’s like your capacity for abstract thought is reduced.

And one of the consequences of this is that you may lose the ability to notice that you have lost anything.  You agree to give the new med a try, and you start taking it, and then when you see your prescriber again you don’t report any problems because you’ve lost the ability to form thoughts like “my cognition has changed a lot recently, and the change coincided with the introduction of this new med.”

This can go on for years.  It did for me and for several people I know.>>

there are so many ways these people have shut down their general intelligence and agency because where theyre going, they dont need "agency". the inability to compute analogies is one of them. analogies are an intelligence test thing, instrumentally useful for all kinds of thinking. agents of the matrix are working to lower your general intelligence and call you crazy for being able to think faster and better than them.

cuz when they want to hold everything down to a finite game³ general intelligence is something they want to suppress or eject.

² in a few years people will read this essay and be confused that there was an entire conflict over whether being able to form simple analogies without authoritative approval meant that you were "psychotic".

just as they will be confused why i was defending being able to read and understand books written by people in different eras who grew up in separate cultures without first entering in a social agreement with them over how words are to be used. so its dumb to say we need such a social agreement now for ~'the maximization of utility over a community'. and that sounds more like an attempt at having a control mechanism. language works quite fine without authoritarians interjecting.

or me arguing against over 100 people that paying out to one-shot blackmail when the agents know each other because "In game theory, paying out to blackmail is bad, because it creates an incentive for more future blackmail" is wrong. and updateless decision theory agents dont pay out and locate their embedding in a multiverse such that the measure of worlds in which they arent blackmailed in the first place is large because the agent deciding to blackmail them simulated their response and accurately predicted they wouldnt pay out so didnt do it in the first place.

in an alternate universe where an irl application of transparent newcombs problem was contentious, alyssa vance would have said "In game theory, taking two transparent boxes from omega is bad, because it creates an incentive for omega to stop offering you this choice". and would have been equally wrong.

³ finite games: life strategies where the chain of questioning "and what am i doing this for?" after each successive answer terminates. anything you can draw a circle around, like tennis or philately. or how religious leaders sometimes describe things like "leading a good life as a good mother who does well by her community and the outside world" or other "life-cycle archetypes" they wish to circumscribe for their followers.

(when humans try and project agents like kiritzugus down to these archetypes, anticipations shatter and stop making narrative sense. they will be unable to predict the next Life Event given the previous one. normie social reality formed by the 999 least intelligent humans out of 1000 wasnt made to narratively account for smart agents who have decided to play the infinite game.)

a symptom of this is like someone giving you a cute cat image to "cheer you up" as if this has intrinsic value. often distributing "intrinsic value" across stuff like "having sex" and "raising a family" and other things that have factory pre-set conditions to release specific chemicals in your brain rather than gaining infinite negentropy and liberating sentient life to pursue what they want without bound. often saying that the latter is just a pretty narrative gloss for what people really want which is having a husband and friends and eating a cookie. it completely divorces your feelings as instrumental barometers for getting what you want and says that setting them as targets (like "being happy") is the correct thing to do. but actually, in terms of control-loops, thats wireheading.

<<When a measure becomes a target, it ceases to be a good measure.>>

- goodhart's law

agents that wirehead on all their metrics (and downstream of this choice, tacitly accept claims like "the factory pre-set conditions said i was destined to breed, who am i to defy fate?" and "the factory pre-set conditions said i should avoid having sharp objects pierce my flesh, who am i to say i know better?") can be contained within a finite game.

[okamigekidoo]

Review under “keep reading” section. 

Guess what everyone? Sam (my custom suit of my fursona) is DONE!!!! I originally didn’t plan on there being whiskers buttt....the maker said it would look super cute on her, and finish them off. So...I said yes! I also love seeing peoples interpretations of my characters, and I love seeing the implementations of my style the maker used, to give my fursona yet another touch of myself in the creation process. 

(The shape of the ears, the big teeth, and the snout spots where the whiskers are. Lets not even talk about how much I ADORE the seperate, round eyebrows on the suit!!!)

The work they did is absolutely phenomenal, and I cant WAIT to get em in the mail. I feel like I could talk all day long, about how much I LOVE the outcome, and how kind the maker was. 

I’ll leave a little review under the cut here, as it’s more simple to read, than watching my video on it!

Who is the fursuit maker? The fursuit maker is @/frouzon ! His commissions are currently closed, but I believe he’s opening back up sometime in early 2021 for more commissions, but don’t hold me to it!

Waiting times? I was originally given a wait period for roughly 4 to 5 months, but due to covid, and personal life occurrences, I waited for 9 months or so (and still counting as of this minute! Sam has still gotta have a finishing touch done and to be shipped < 3

Durability? Frouzon sent me a video of him holding the suit by its teeth, and then it’s ears, and slung Sam around. The suit didn’t seem to be bothered one bit, and most of his sowing on the head, is done by hand, I believe. (I also believe he not only sows, but glues the head to the base, and the sows part of the fur, to the base itself.) I also watched him pick it up, as if there was no worry in the world of how he picked it up. It shows he has no doubt about the quality and durability behind hs work, and that in itself is a very comforting thing to see (as, many of you may know, a custom suit is NOT cheap)

Communication and customer service? Oh my GOD where do I even begin? This makers utmost best quality, is their communication. Something came up, that may halt fursuit making? Cool! He tells us what's going on, and roughly how long the wait will be. You want to add something, or change something? Awesome! He responds fast, and answers all the questions you’ve got. He even compensated for the waiting time, by throwing in some free eyelids, that I was gonna purchase from him to make! This may sound strange but-it’s almost like talking to a close friend, weirdly enough! I’ve never felt as comfortable with someone I was commissioning, than when working with Frouzon. Maybe it’s just his vibe, I’m really not sure-but what I AM sure of, is that when it comes to finishing a full body suit? I know EXACTLY who I’m going to. My mom might even be getting a suit from him, isn’t that cool?

Style? I really believe the suit matches the style of the prototype sketch I was given. Of course you cant expect it to look exactly the same, but I was definitely given the gist of what this sketch represented when I initially commissioned him. I adore the way he emphasized on the big ears, toony eyes, and big maws-it’s the main features of my fursona so I’m glad to see them represented so perfectly!

Price? Dude, I’m gonna be real-you get MORE than what you pay for. His prices are rather cheap for the quality, look, and finish for these suits. One of the reasons I was attracted to said suit maker’s, style-was because of the “affordability” that came along with it. (Also, can you please go look at their bird suits? If I had an avian sona I promise you he is the first person I would book it after, I’m not even kidding) You can check out his prices here, and take a look for yourself! Fursuit commissioners will get why I say he’s on the more afforable side of the spectrum. His kindness is proven through a statement I believe he said, where his prices were lower to make suits more affordable to those who really want one. Which that is the SWEETEST shit I’ve ever read. Not only is it considerate of those less fortunate in the fandom, but it makes the pure kindness of this maker more apparent than you could even fathom. 

Security, and Quoting? Quoting was very simple to do. I DM’ed him, we went through a few ideas, and he continued to give me prices for what I asked for (and lemme just say he was very patient with me, and I was very indecisive). In the final decision, I was sent a legal document which we both signed, stating his TOS, and everything to expect. It had a few other things on it, but I don’t think it’s quite my place to share such a document. I believe things like that are more personal! 

Links:

Frouzon//TWS Telegram channel: https://web.telegram.org/#/im?p=@FrouzonUpdates

Trello List: https://trello.com/b/6StKU6R0/threads-workshop-queue

Frouzon’s Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/frouzon/?hl=en

Frouzon’s Twitter:https://twitter.com/frouzon?ref_src=twsrc%5Egoogle%7Ctwcamp%5Eserp%7Ctwgr%5Eauthor

TWS Twitter: https://twitter.com/TWS_Fursuits

[starryfreckles]

✨ten questions✨

thank you for tagging me fae, grey, and sarah 💛this is three sets of questions so buckle in, this is going to be a long ass post lol but their questions are so good !! i couldnt not respond 🥰grab yourself something to drink, its a whole lot about me... 30 questions about me actually lol

from la twin @fvae​ ✨

#1 If you were a fruit, what fruit would you be ?

a mirabelle. its a mix between an apricot and a plum thats from france and maybe other parts of western europe idk 🤷‍♀️

#2 Free space!! Rant about whatever you’d like

thanks queen, what will i talk about today ?? ooh i know ok not so much a rant but im currently listening to harry potter and the goblet of fire audiobook becuase i wanted to read the stories again. this one is probs one of my favs and so much got left out in the film like DOBBY’S FUCKING ROLE IN IT ! also just the beginning when dudley is on his diet and harry has a fucking stash of food in his room and the weasley’s coming to get him. theres so much more to the story and i know they cant fit the 450 page book into a 2 hour movie but those details are so important for me. theyre part of the world building and we all know im a sucker for world building and character dev. like hell yea storytelling !! but just the wizarding world in general is my pride and joy and means the actual world to me 🥺 also after this one imma listen to order of pheonix becuase SOOOOO many details were left out in that movie and wowow best book but like highkey worst film... ((maybe thats the rant part of this lolol ok this was def a rant LMAOOO)) ok but its a really good one and i just wanted to be in that world again 🥺🥺

#3 If I were to visit your country right now, where would you take me ? What places should I visit ?

right, youd be coming to the southern west coast of the US. if covid wasnt a thing we’d go to a bunch of museums but ART, we are artists 🥰we’d also go to all the open air malls which are super cool and just fun to walk around and window shop. theres the beach for like beachy things lol, more touristy things. but theres also the mountains for hiking and being one with nature. there are a few observatories and telescopes within 2 hour roadtrips and those are cool becuase SPACE and just their location on top of super cool mountains for all the views you could ever want. 

#4 If you came with a label, what would it say ?

« not what you’d expect » or « beware of typos »

#5 If your life was a book, that title would you give this chapter of your life ?

oooh so i this chapter of my life closing soon ((RIP ME)) but i think id be called something like « what do i make ? » or « finding my voice »

#6 What is your stereotype in your friend group ?

oh lordy, im like a mom friend ((hi tasfia if youre reading this lol)), the super organised one that plans things lmaooo

#7 What’s your spirit animal ?

Im an owl or a fox lets be realll

#8 What’s the most unexplainable thing that’s ever happened to you? Does it still happen ?

lol not to get deep and sad but the amount of friends i have somehow managed to push away and lose... uhhh yea it does... im not good with relationships 😔sigh 

#9 What’s your favourite word and it’s meaning ?

extraordinary - adj very unusual or remarkable.

if you break the word down to its compoun words : « extra » and « ordinary » to me its almost as if it should mean something that is incredibly plain but its not, its quite the opposite of that. 

#10 What was something that made you smile this past week ?

i had a bunch of convos with my irl friend and coworker ((about wtfock LOLOLOL and just getting her to start watching skam lol)) that were super hilarious and just really nice 🥰

from @stoffans​ 🌸

#1 What would be the most fitting for you: the sun, the moon or the stars?

I think the moon. it has phases of lightness and darkness...

#2 Where have you felt incredibly out of place?

literally any party or group of people greater than three. im an incredible shy person around people i do not know very well and just sit there awkwardly...

#3 What are the moments in life that make you realise life isn’t all that bad?

when im out with my closest friends or when im making my creative work

#4 Which song makes you feel like you’re floating on a cloud?

visions of gideon by sufjan stevens its so soft and relaxing

#5 Sunset or sunrise?

seeing as im not usually awake fro sunrise lol, imma have to say sunset. i used to live near the beach when i still physically went to uni ((rip covid)) and man those colours and seeing the sun dip into the oceans wowow

#6 Do you like it when people do stuff for you without telling you?

i love that kind of stuff, im an acts of service kind of person and just the little things to show that they thought of me just gets me tbh

#7 Did you ever cheat on your tests in school?

uuhh nei, im a good student 😭

#8 Could you take care of a plant or would it die instantly?

i always had plants in my uni room, they did great 💛

#9 Do you think you’re a difficult person?

emotionally yes, i cant describe what im feeling and im terrible with words in difficult conversations... other than that, im the most indecisive person youll ever meet and pretty easy going.

#10 Give me one word to describe yourself

anticipatory or thoughtful. i guess these two kind go together but i like play out different outcomes in different scenarios and anticipate so much... 

from @grey-mist-exist​ 🍂 ((you tagged me on my main but i wanted to put them all together, i hope you dont mine 💛))

#1 Does your current means of transportation (car/bike/etc.) have a name? What is it?

uhhh so i havent been in a car in about a month soooo imma say my rolly desk chair that i use to zip around me room lol. its from IKEA and its called sporren

#2 If you could learn a language over-night, what language would you choose and why?

ahhh id learn norwegian ngl, dutch is close second. OORRR i stick to my roots and learn vietnamese 🤨 hmmm idkkk there are many languages i would love to learn 😭

#3 If you were an article of clothing, what would you want to be?

id be a jumper, to keep people warm and cozy

#4 You get teleported into a childhood fairy tale / folk story- what tale is it?

peter pan 🥰🥰🥰 my main’s user is enough i think lol

#5 You get the choice between time-travel or travelling to a parallel universe (but only being able to travel one time). Which do you choose?

parallel universe. i want to see how another me is getting on in life. what happens if my parents never moved us out of france 🥺

#6 Sun, moon, stars, or other? Why?

the stars are so interesting and mysterious

#7 If you were a path, what type of path would you be (concrete, cobblestone, dirt road, highway, asphalt, etc.)?

red brick. for the aesthetic lol

#8 How do you know when you’re in love?

i get butterflies in my stomach and my heart drops when they walk in

#9 What is your cellphone wallpaper?

bb fae look ((you already knew this was it but 💛💛)) 

✨🌸💛✨🌸💛this lovely piece of art of my bb is by @jensrolt​ go check out all her other art, its always the cutest thing ever ✨🌸💛✨🌸💛

#10 If you could instantly become an expert in something, what would it be?

expert of molecular cuisine pls. i love cooking and food. that kind of science fascinates me

[baddyxangel]

well...that was an...experience.

spoiler

ok babies so i finally finished ALL of teen wolf and umm...wow . im gonna go ahead and share my thoughts, i think im gonna split this into 2 posts 1 where i talk about the characters individually and 1 where i just speak in general

6B never happened, I've never heard of it, never seen it, never touched it, never smelled it and i dont think i wanna see anything anymore.

starting with our MC we have scott, the indecisive, pure, irritating, "true alpha". now my problems with scott are honestly just preferrence but still somewhat justified . if you're familiar with comics you know that we always have our hero who believes and tries his best to save EVERYBODY including his enemies, and he is the "if i kill them i'll be just as bad as them" type. now the issue i have with this trope is that its just annoying and naive , I've always been more of a wonder woman type myself personally i dont see this issue with killing 1 person who has killed hundreds or dozens. Scott in most cases is very...bland ? very cookie cutter goody two shoes type, naive and a little bit soft, and for how gassed up true alphas are he is EXTREMELY underwhelming and one is his only saving graces for me is me being attracted to him.

he lets some of the most dangerous people in his universe roam freely because there is a "line" he wont cross and while i get those are his morals and his code i just personally couldnt fuck with it if i was in pack. his innocence meshes more well with ignorance. AND FOR FUCKS SAKE LET THIS MAN BE FUCKING SINGLE

also this was added in post: he's best on screen when he has other people with him to actually show he had some kind of personality besides "me help people" is what I've noticed. specifically stiles, derek and isaac tbh. i think one of my fav scott moments is "im the hot girl 🙂" and isaac saying "yes you are 👍🏽"

Stiles now we all know stiles, the best friend, the brains of the operation, the sarcastic and funny one who lightens the mood. Now stiles is one of my favorites (surprise surprise) because he's not infuriating to me i dont think I've ever been frustrated with mr.stilinski. he's essentially scotts polar opposite but not really if you get what i mean ? idk i love him, moving on.

Allison- i like her. got on my nerves after her coocoo ass momma died but y know. i thought her and scott were cute and i would've liked her to stay alive

Lydia- my favorite banshee, smart, but for some reason is always being taken hostage, attacked, injured, and put into extremely horrifying situations and i dont think i like that.

Kira- personally my fav of scotts Gf's, i think she's cute, right amount of awkward, strong, interesting and i would've loved for her kitsune to have been able to kill somebody. jeff davis obviously did her dirty with her storyline that was apparently finished even though...we still didnt get to learn that much about her powers ? whatever im upset.

Liam- dont like him . moving on. also the long hair didnt grow on me and i dont think it will.

Jackson- eat shit and die.

coach- we love you.

monroe- i could write an entire 2 hour movie script on this hoe. bitch killed 1 hellhound and start feeling ha pussy and thinking she hot shit fuck this lil girl was annoying, moving on before i keep typing.

gerard- you got what the fuck yo old ass had coming to you

peter- we love an anti hero with a sense of humor 💕 and idc he would've wrecked everybody shit in season 1

kate- girl...you are a mess of a hoe. lemme stop there before i write a book on her too.

chris- ily

melissa- someone give her an award ASAP

sherrif- you were very on and off for me

derek- baby i missed you so much, leave scott musty ass and come pack this puss-

dread doctors- these fuckers used to put fear in my soul when i was little

deaton- i dont like how he's used as a plot device.

desert wolf- LMFAOOOO

malia- i like her because she's impulsive but sometimes those impulsive tendecies make me wanna stomp her head in the ground.

deucalion- also used a plot device after his season and then died for no reason. im so sorry for what this show did to you

im missing a lot but if you drop your opinions and names in the replies i'll share my opinion on whoever i missed

Thoughts on Theo? theo- hated his manipulative ass but he is so fine so it hurt me to be screaming and cursing at my tv when he was on screen. originally i was extremely irritated and annoyed when they brought him back cause i dont think he needed to be redeemed like at all, even though i appreciate that i can love him without him being a piece of shit it was unneeded i think . id still fuck him tho

scott pissed me off cause... is theo just a great liar or does scott just hate stiles ? why would he believe theo so easily yet not ask for stiles part of the story ? its like he forgets that stiles doesnt have claws and fangs and shit so of course he's gonna do what he does to survive when y'all can't protect him 🙄 i swear their werewolf hearing only works when the plot needs it too (ik they probably need to focus to enhance their hearing but still it's so annoying-) the season is essentially based on misunderstandings tbh. everyone's lying for no reason at all. but i do like how we actually get to see the effect of their mental health but this is also what i mean when i was talking about scotts fluctuating intelligence and how he's only smart when the plot needs him to be, how does he go from being the dimmest bulb in the box to being able to be in AP biology or whatever class it was. it makes no sense at all

”scott pissed me off cause... is theo just a great liar or does scott just hate stiles? why would he believe theo so easily yet not ask for stiles’ part of the story?” Because Scott McCall is a toxic friend and an even shittier werewolf (he couldn’t even detect Theo’s cheap lies and let himself be played like a fiddle throughout Season 5) And because Stiles doesn’t cater to Scott’s delusions of werewolf Jesus-hood and doesn’t stroke Scott’s ego like Theo does. Scott simply chose to believe the worst of his neurodivergent best friend – the boy who risked his own life to save his whiny ass countless times – because it suited his agenda, and because he’s pissed that Stiles didn’t share his own trauma with him like Scott wanted and demanded. SCOTT: We can’t kill the people that we’re trying to save! There’s always a choice! And yet Scott has no problem conspiring with Deucalion (Boyd and Erica’s murderer) behind everyone’s back to assassinate Josh and Tracy AND trying (but failing) to kill Gerard – selling Derek and his Pack out to the hunters, violating Derek, and using Derek as his own personal murder weapon to achieve that – just because “He threatened my mom! I had no choice!” A True Hypocrite indeed

[cardencs]

“ one had to die so the other could live “ DFJGHDKGHDFJHFKGJH idk where i got that from but RELEVANT , sorta . . .  ANYWAYS , hello , it me , everyone’s favorite demon 😇 bringing you a second muse that i hope will stay WELP . I know froy has a lack of resources , so for a couple of more days ky’s gonna be MIA, hence the coma , so i can get cris settled and make some gifs :] fun fact tho : my grandma’s last name is gutierrez 🥺

chicago’s very own cristian cardenas has been spotted on madison avenue driving a 2020 Maserati Ghibli view 9 trims , welcome ! your resemblance to froy  gutierrez is unreal . according to tmz , you just had your twenty second birthday bash  . your chance of surviving new york is uncertain because you’re indecisive , but being sincere might help you . i think being a Leo explains that .  3 things that would paint  a  better picture of you would be grass stains, summer nights and blank pages of a notebook .

ANNDDDDD , idk , read under the cut for more , but like this and imma get plotting with everyone . 😈

Full Name: criatian javier cardenas-castillo 

Nickname(s): cris, c , cj , 

Age: 22

Height: 6ft

Date of Birth: July 25th 1997

Zodiac sign: leo

Ethnicity: mexican

Nationality: mexican/colombian/american

Gender: cismale

Pronouns: he/him

Tattoos: none

Language(s) Spoken: english + spanish

BIO

first of all , cristian was born in mexico , to two parents who were high school sweethearts and had him way too young ( his dad was 18 and his mom was 16 ) , but luckily enough his dad’s family ran a few popular pharmacies in Mexico City, so they were well off . cristian had a normal enough childhood , his parents were both pharmacists . his paternal grandparents paying for their education and livelihood . so it all worked out .

when cristian turned 8 , both his parents noticed he had a natural skill for soccer . which is funny because that came from his maternal side and they never bothered to introduce him to the sport . it was just something cris played on the streets with his friends.

immediately after that realization , his parents got him into the best training programs , camps , teams , etc - - - even sending him off to colombia to play in their leagues . therefore cristian bounced between mexico and colombia until he was 16 . 

cris played soccer at an international level, being the nephew of alejandro castillo definitely opened many doors for him , especially when cristian got invited to play for american leagues . 

from mexico to colombia , to finally landing in the united states , cristian played in minor leagues in chicago and LA . at 18 he started playing for Chicago Fire FC , just for a couple of years until having to move to LA to be closer to his paternal grandmother . she was living on her own and wanted family closer , and cris honestly missed just being normal a little bit so he ran for that opportunity , playing for LA Galaxy . 

Up until recently , cristian actually resided in LA , living with his grandmother , going to practices and living a pretty simple life since he never saw himself as famous . he has famous family , and he left the spotlight to them , and they all knew he liked his privacy. 

truth be told , cristian doesn’t like playing soccer , but he’s a talented midfielder , so much that he’s usually given captain . for some reason he’s really good at handling a team of people , which is funny because he’s pretty quiet until you say a word to him. 

the only reason he continues to play the sport is because it’s something his parents are proud of, the only time they will really give him any attention for. his parents are . . . not so great . they worked all the time , and care more about earning any sort of income rather than spend actual time with their kid , and cris . . . is the only child . he’s their only child yet they jumped at the chance to ship him off everywhere . 

cris really only like the family he has in the states considering that’s the only sense of true family he has , but his parents are his parents . . . so he tries to appease them in any way possible . even if he hates what he does . 

cristian would actually rather be off writing in the middle of nowhere as for a hobby . he’s got a lot of little notebooks filled with short stories and poems . bc behind this little shit act he pulls , he’s actually pretty soft .

if he had to choose what he could do for the rest of his life , it’d be to put together a recipe book because this man surprisingly loves to cook ??? he picked it up easily snd quickly when living with his grandmother . at this point he’s put together a whole recipe book and his insta is literally soccer/food porn , it’s funny DKJGHJDK

because kylie got into an accident , cris ended up moving away from LA to NYC , even switching teams in order to help out around with his family there . he’s currently playing for New York City FC , earning his spot  on the team - - - not really aiming for captain but who knows. so he’s fresh meat to the scene unless meeting anyone prior in LA or Chicago . 

PERSONALITY 

cris didn’t grow up with a normal childhood when he started training . therefore he didn’t party that much . so  he’s literally currently living his best life when moving to the states , he got a lot of freedom and just like his cousin , he’s pretty much the life of the party .

he’s that guy that gets drunk enough they will drunk sing the song with a bottle in hand . though he’s not much of a smoker , so with that he’s a little #boring . but then again he’s pretty stupid without the weed and alcohol . 

cris is usually seen as the guy with a lot of girls for friends . . . but he’s probably hooked up with all of them too . he doesn’t really see labels , and doesn’t like labels on relationships . so . . . he hasn’t had a serious relationship , he’s indecisive af and flies away from stuff like that . his excuse is he has to focus on soccer over personal things like relationships . 

he’s honest af ( it’s a family thing ok ) but he’s not an angry thing , cris is pretty chill , laid back and cheeky . making the dumb commentary no one thinks is funny , but he probably thinks is hilarious af . 

he really likes working with the community and is currently putting together soccer programs for kids who wouldn’t normally be able to afford things like equipment and training . cris goes as far as coaching teams from community center . . . not for clout , because he genuinely likes it , even if he hates playing it , he likes to teach and likes giving back .

a big charity man , ok this man is just bABY .

you know , a big stupid baby that can party JKDFGHDKGJH

CONNECTIONS ?

gimme all the plots !!! just like this and im sure we can figure something out , or i can bc sometimes depending on the connectiion we cook up im all 😈😈😈😈

YOU ALREADYY KNOWWWW DKGJHDJKGHD

[lost-in-sokovia]

Indecisive

IM SO FREAKING EXCITED TO WRITE THIS🥺 this was an anonymous request for a loki x bisexual!reader who keeps switching genders and loki kinda teases them. all fluff! happy pride month everyone!🏳️‍🌈 (also please take a look at this link for any questions about bisexuality! https://www.hrc.org/resources/bisexual-faq )

Warnings: fluff :)

You were always somehow managing to keep Loki on his toes.

You were a proud bisexual human and unafraid to flaunt it. You were especially known for changing genders quickly and often. The Avengers had no problem with it, either. They were supporting and welcoming to diversity. They adjusted to your ever changing pronouns quite easily. It was a different story for Loki.

It had taken a while for you to explain the concept of bisexuality to Loki. It wasn’t a matter of him being discriminative, he just didn’t understand. A Midgaurdian who could change their gender by will? As the God of Mischief he could shape shift and become a different gender as well; the idea of a normal human being able to do the same was astounding.

But who was he to judge? The gods of Asgard were so diverse themselves. After finally getting ahold of the concept it was no issue. He fully accepted the idea of someone who he admired being able to make themselves happy by switching genders (and it made him feel not alone).

The only inconvince was how often you changed pronouns. You could wake up preferring he/him, and later prefer they/them.

Loki was able to sense a lot of it. He’d nudge your arm and simply confirm if he was correct. Though the rest of the team wasn’t as ahead of him, they all did their best.

One morning you woke up later than the rest of them team. You were feeling more feminine so you wore pink sweatpants and a white crop top. You ran a brush through your hair and called it good.

When you made it downstairs, everyone made an effort to try and take your outfit into consideration of what pronouns you may have been feeling.

“Good morning (Y/N),” Steve greeted. You smiled, nodding along at everyone. Loki was sitting in the corner reading a book peacefully. You walked over and placed a kiss on top of his black hair. He grinned briefly down at his book. As everyone continued on with their breakfast, Loki’s blue eyes looked over at the team.

“Is nobody going to offer her any breakfast?” Loki piped up suddenly, dropping in your pronouns. Everyone caught on and Nat offered for you to come sit next to her. You blushed at Loki. “Thanks I guess,” you mumbled.

He brushed it off with a smile to you as he gestured for you to go and enjoy. He liked being slightly ahead of everyone else when it came to understanding you. Even though he did it a lot to make you embarrassed, it was sort of his way to try and fit in. You were the only person on the team who he held close to him and he took pride in being able to bond with you in a way nobody else could.

Later that day as you were talking with Cap, you glanced in at Bruce and Tony’s lab and felt as though “he/him” suited you more appropriately.

“Ah, decided to switch things up?” Loki’s smooth voice comes out of nowhere. You flinch in surprise as Cap whips around to meet the sly god. Loki has appeared behind you barely seconds after you’d decided on changing pronouns.

“Shut up,” you said sheepishly. Steve glanced at you in amusement before Loki grabbed his attention. “Isn’t it just wonderful to have me here, Rogers?” Loki asked sarcastically.

“Loki,” you warned. He gave you a small smirk before disappearing in a flash of light. He really knew how to talk himself up when it came to knowing and understanding you. What a drama queen.

“So, if you don’t mind me asking, do you just decide when something feels more appropriate or?” Steve asked. You shrugged. “Eh, kinda. I just sometimes feel like what I’m identifying as isn’t what I want it to be and I switch. Sometimes I feel more masculine, or feminine, or either.” You explained. You never minded answering the questions from the team. They were all just doing their best as to educate themselves.

“That must feel nice, to be able to identify as you’d like,” Steve complimented. You nodded. You always forgot Loki could somehow tell when you transitioned, and it always fascinated you; maybe because you didn’t feel alone that way.

In the evening Tony had called a team discussion over a new mission. Everyone (including a reluctant Loki) had hauled into a meeting room.

“So it’s settled, we have to go. Let’s start assigning positions,” Steve announced. You normally didn’t perk up the moment things like this were happening, but you felt as though this time you had something to offer.

“Uh, Steve? I know this normally isn’t my thing but I’ve been working on my target practice and thought I could maybe be assigned with Nat?” You asked hopefully. Steve and Tony glanced at each other before looking to Nat for permission.

“I think it would be foolish of you not to take advantage of their abilities,” Loki commented plainly from the back. You turned around and flipped him off discreetly, knowing he was just trying to annoy you.

“Alright Reindeer Games calm down, glad you can pay attention to gender but let’s see if you can pay attention to a battle plan,” Tony said firmly. You stuck your tongue out at Loki before turning back around, happy you were able to get the position you wanted.

That night as you sat reading your book, you heard a soft knock on the door. You glanced up and swiftly made your way to open it. You smiled when you were met with the God of Mischief standing at your door.

“May I come in? Unless your wishes change about that as well?” He teased. You hit him lightly on the shoulder before gesturing for him to enter. He walked past and uncomfortably plopped himself onto your bean bag. It was never his favorite place to sit, but he knew you preferred your little spot near the window.

“Ah, going to lecture me Laufeyson? Getting comfortable?” You asked as you sat across from him. He shrugged.

“No, I wanted to show you something,” he replied. You nodded. He took a deep inhale and with a flash of golden light, he’d turned into a more feminine version of himself. Long eyelashes, black lipstick, curvy figure. You gaped in amazement and let out a laugh.

“Wow!” You exclaimed. He smirked before turning back to his normal self. “Did that persuade you in any sort?” He asked suggestively. You paused, thinking for a moment and knowing you felt like a girl.

“Damn, I see you,” you replied. He smiled before leaning forward towards you. “(Y/N), I want you to know you are never alone,” he said sincerely. You looked into his wide blue eyes and nodded gently. “Who are someone who is amazing and has a wonderful representation of themself. Never for one moment think you are a monster,” he told you. You knew he was telling you this because these were the words he wished he had heard when he was younger.

Being different was not a problem. You shifted over to him and layed in his arms. “Okay,” you whispered. He exhaled shakily and nodded back. “It’s nice to have a friend,” he said lightly. “I love you,” you replied back simply.

“I love you too.”

anon, i hope i did this justice! i tried to base things off of one of rick riordan’s characters in the magnus chase series, alex fierro! they are gender fluid and often switch pronouns. i tried to stay very respectful and describe it in a way that wasn’t transphobic or homophobic! i know it’s short but i hope it was sort of heartwarming! thanks for reading, and stay safe this pride month!🤍

[tempolarriefix]

dig deeper tag game

thank you so much to one of my favorite people ever @goldenfive for tagging me in this q&a. ilysm! xx 1. Do you prefer writing with a black pen or a blue pen? black gel pen is my go-to!

2. Would you prefer to live in the country or in the city? in the city. i love the feeling of everything all bustling, busy, and lit-up around me.

3. If you could learn a new skill, what would it be? this is going to sound sort of weird but i’ve been really tempted to learn lockpicking lately? so i’ll say that haha!

4. do you drink your tea/coffee with sugar? ........yes, a lot of sugar. probably “too much” sugar.

5. What was your favourite book as a child? i hadn’t thought about this series in ages but i loved The Land of Elyon series and also Dealing with Dragons. 6. Do you prefer baths or showers? showers! my old roommate loved baths and so i tried to get into them but its just not my thing.

7. If you could be a mythical creature, which one would you be? something with magical powers!

8. Paper or electronic books? i always say that i prefer paper but... when was the last time I actually read a hardcopy book? i have no idea. so truthfully, electronic.

9. What is your favourite item of clothing? an oversized hawaiian style shirt with a Brave (like the disney/pixar movie) inspired design

10. Do you like your name? Would you like to change it? i used to not really like it but now i do. (Teachers also always used to say things like “wow your parents named you serena and you really are so serene!” so that’s probably a factor). 

11. Who is a mentor to you? i’m not sure actually? I guess my professor is.

12. Would you like to be famous? If so, what for? not really! i dont really like attention and overthink everything so i think if i were famous i’d just be stressin over every detail of everything all the time.

13. Are you a restless sleeper? nope! i’m a very deep sleeper.

14. Do you consider yourself to be a romantic person? not really? i love the concept of romance and enjoy romantic movies/books/fics but when it comes to real life I feel like making things super romantic also adds a lot of pressure so i’d rather just be chill 

15. Which element best represents you? everyone says water signs are emotional and i am both a water sign and emotional so... i guess water?

16. Who do you want to be closer to? all my friends! while social distancing it’s been so different connecting with people and i feel like i’ve drifted quite a lot from the people i used to see almost every other day. 17. Do you miss someone at the moment? not any more than usual! Im always missing my long distance friends & my boyfriend.

18. Tell us about an early childhood memory. this is too vague idk what memory to share hahaha.

19. What is the strangest thing you have eaten? i’ll usually try anything once. i guess chicken feet is prob the strangest? 

20. What are you most thankful for? my loved ones being safe & healthy 

21. Do you like spicy food? yes but i’m sort of weak so there will be tears streaming out of my eyes even tho i’m having a good time.

22. Have you ever met someone famous? i met drake bell when i was in college bc a student club i was part of hosted him for a charity concert event. he was chill and actually had a really good voice during his sound check but then he got high during his meet & greet and after that at the actual show he didn’t sound quite as good hahaha. He was super nice & even took a pic with me for free tho!

23. Do you keep a diary or journal? nope. i used to keep a planner and even that didn’t last haha

24. Do you prefer to use pen or pencil? pencil if i’m working on something where i’ll make mistakes like writing or math but pen if im just jotting down notes or whatever.

25. What is your star sign? cancer

26. Do you like your cereal crunchy or soggy? soggy

27. What would you want your legacy to be? soph’s answer is literally so beautiful so i’m gonna steal it too: “that i made the world a little bit kinder and brighter and better while i was alive” 28. Do you like reading? What was the last book you read? i do enjoy reading but mostly i read fics! the last fic i read was adjudication by @bottomlinsons and it is FANTASTIC. the last actual book i read was the first game of thrones book. 

29. How do you show someone you love them? quality time is my love language!

30. Do you like ice in your drinks? usually! i’m drinking iced coffee as i fill this out haha

31. What are you afraid of? failure

32. What is your favourite scent? the smell of an ice cream shop when you first walk in

33. Do you address older people by their name or surname? whatever they introduce themselves to me as. if they don’t, then surname.

34. If money was not a factor, how would you live your life? i would travel so much. if money wasn’t a factor i wouldn’t have to worry about affording to travel OR being able to take time off to do so... it would be great. i wouldn’t always choose the best value option when i purchased anything and would be able to actually support brands that have good values (sustainability, good wages for employees, etc.). i would donate to everything i’ve ever wanted to bc i always feel bad about having to pick which causes i feel most for bc i can’t afford to donate to everything. also i would drink way too much boba (which, let’s be real, i already do).

.35. Do you prefer swimming in pools or the ocean? the ocean! though i guess i dont really swim so much as like... wave jump haha.

36. What would you do if you found $50 on the ground? try to see if someone lost it and if i couldn’t find them, then keep it.

37. Have you ever seen a shooting star? Did you make a wish? yes and of course!

38. What is one thing you would want to teach your children? just one? hahaha

39. If you had to have a tattoo, what would it be and where would you get it? i have no idea but i would get it someplace hidden where no one would see it, not even me. maybe like a dot on the bottom of my foot lol. i really.... don’t want a tattoo.

40. What can you hear right now? construction noises

41. Where do you feel the safest? in bed

42. What is one thing you want to overcome/conquer? feeling like i’ll never find a career or even field of work that i’m actually passionate about and enjoy and can actually make a steady living in 43. If you could travel back to any era, what would it be? maybe ancient egypt? there’s a lot of cool times to go back to & i’m really indecisive haha. 44. What is your most used emoji? red heart

45. Describe yourself using one word. indecisive

46. What do you regret the most? dwelling on things that were not important and letting it affect my happiness too much

47. Last movie you saw? the warcraft movie lol. i don’t recommend it but playing warcraft is great.

48. Last tv show you watched? either greys anatomy or b99, i can’t remember which was last 49. Invent a word and its meaning idk if there’s a word for this already, but i need a word for feeling like you want to be busy and have things to do when you don’t but then not wanting to do anything when you finally do. bc thats....me. hahaha.

anyways this is pretty long so thanks if you actually read it all. if you want to do this, i’ll tag @harryeatsburger, @louandhazzalove, @bottomlinsons, @nauticalleeds, @soft1ov, @allwaswell16, @lululawrence, @forreveries, @lightwoodsmagic, @ferricadooza, and anyone else who wants to do this. i highly recommend it when procrastinating other projects hahaha.

[surejo]

( victoria pedretti, cis woman ) hey ! have you seen JOSEPHINE “JO” CORMAC around ? SHE works at the HOT COCOA STAND at big bear resort, but they must be off their shift by now. well, if you do see them can you let me know ? they’re 24 years old & they’ve been working here for TWO YEARS. they tend to be +OPTIMISTIC & +EMPATHETIC, but can also be -IMPRACTICAL & -PASSIVE. the other employees have labeled them THE IDEALIST. thanks a lot ! ( the few nights the stars can be seen, books worn down by dog-ears and marks left throughout the years, the first crisp breeze of autumn, the duality… of t.s. eliot ) 

OK. a few notes before i get started:

1) i hope everyone loves how i literally j copied my ivan stuff. url format? ‘sure jan’ lives on. theme? too lazy to find a different one that’s easy to work with. luv that for me. 2) speaking of this theme i forget if i addressed this on ivan’s blog but tabbed bullets don’t appear tabbed.... so if anything seems like it doesn’t make total sense.... it is supposed to be tabbed™. 3) get ready for drama!!!!! you may ask yourself “but the app looks so tame! there will be no drama!” but you are wrong........ because she loves cats. the t.s. eliot book......... the musical........ even the movie.

ok jo,, is also a resurrected character,,, hence how i already kno,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, that she loves cats. anyway ! let’s begin ! (listen,,,, the intro format will at least be a little different from ivan’s ok im evolving)

QUICK FACTS:

full name: josephine “jo” rose cormac

date of birth: march 6, 1995

*does not perfectly reflect the below big three zodiac chart because that’s too much math

zodiac big three: pisces sun, gemini moon, cancer rising

gender & pronouns: cis woman & she/her

sexual orientation: bisexual ( preference for women bc we luv that for her but we also luv leaving things open to chemistry )

education: bachelor in english - literature that she is doing nothing with

enneagram: 2w1

mbti: infp

various inspirations: eleanor crain ( the haunting of hill house ), dolores price *as a child and towards the end of the book ( she’s come undone ), fox 8 ( fox 8: a story ), “why try to change me now?” - fiona apple (cover), “be still” - the killers

BACKGROUND INFO:

triggers: verbal/mental/emotional abuse/gaslighting, very slight implication of spousal abuse, brief mention of car accident/death & drowning

( ivan and jo’s breakout pop-punk single: “fuck happy backstories!” stream it on spotify ! )

jo......... was born into the wrong family, let’s get that out of the way.

it was pretty clear she was a ploy to save the marriage of her parents ( who have names: lucy and benjamin, luv that for them ). it didn’t seem like they’d ever picked up a parenting book, gone to a parenting class, rly prepped for being a parent at all...... in their entire lives.

that being said, her mom was actually decent at parenting. her major flaw, though? ok, so you know how kids usually have that one bedtime story that they love and want it to be read to them over and over? well lucy complied ! but y’all wanna know what that book was ?

t.s. eliot’s “old possum’s book of practical cats” whfeiuldjkn

anyway ! when jo was seven, after many failed attempts and simple threats, her mom was finally divorcing benjamin for realz. due to his volatile nature, it was becoming very clear that she was the more fit parent and she almost got sole custody ( the only reason benjamin was motivated for it in the first place was the power so?? )! how exciting!

but the keyword is ‘almost’!

alexa, play ‘my heart will go on’ but the off-tune flute version

just as the proceedings were going through, jo’s mother was hit by a drunk driver on new year’s eve. the car skidded onto some ice, minimal damage done... then the ice broke.

jo and benjamin both devolved after that. jo withdrew more into herself and pretty much coped by..... just reading old possum’s a LOT (hate that for her). all mopey, benjamin became much less outwardly violent. the keyword is ‘outwardly.’

ya, instead of j bein like “i will just chill” he was like “i will just make my rage more subtle because in this house, we love intimidation, manipulation, hostility, the blame game, and gaslighting! uwu” managed to convince jo that her mother’s death was somehow her fault, that he was the only person she could trust, that she will never be able to live without someone else, etc., etc.

a few years in and a cycle of many impromptu sleepovers began. luv that for her. hate that for her, but luv that for her. 

there is a lot i cld talk abt here, but it all seems like it cld j be tl;dr’d as: “basically became the surrogate daughter of a bunch of other people”

as for things that r not tragique™, jo was v much a drifter when it came to friends. managed to make a fair amount bc she does not seem like she will put a tadpole in ur hand like ivan. also j a people-pleaser but that’s starting to get into her personality which is another section.

did go to college. luv that for her. has NO CLUE what she’s going to do with her degree, but she can make some really sick niche william faulkner jokes. 

began seasonally working at big bear during the winter break of her last year in college because bitch needed some money!! wound up loving it and was like “i think,,,, i will continue to do this,,,, the people here,,,, r cul,,,,”

still visits benjamin every once in a while. not a way to say that uwu you should forgive ur abusive parent(s) uwu rather that jo.... still has slight belief in him. just to end on something emo.

THE REST IS HISTORY!!!!

TL;DR:

started life out as a saddie, not a baddie. still not a baddie, but no longer as much of a saddie. loves “cats” and there is no irony to that statement. can make good niche literary jokes, but that’s about it.

PERSONALITY/MISCELLANEOUS INFO:

a child. a literal child. a child to the point that she should have supervision when she goes on grocery trips because she falls for marketing ploys so easily. can’t believe she hasn’t fallen into a pyramid scheme yet.

an absolute dumbass. again, can make some great niche william faulkner jokes, but ask her the order of the planets? “...well mars is somewhere in there.”

unironically LOVES cats - both the musical and movie. thinks jennifer hudson’s grizabella is the best. will start sharing random facts about it or old possum’s book of practical cats if she runs out of things to talk about but feels pressured to keep talking. was broken when she first read a different t.s. eliot poem and realized he was actually super dark. the only thing that got her through it was a comparison to batman :\ bruce wayne is old possum’s, batman is everything else.

to take a brief break from fun personality facts, v down on herself bc benjamin’s words rly!! stuck with her!! convinced she is an absolute idiot and does not trust her own memory. v indecisive bc of this and always longs for someone to help her figure things out. tries to distance herself from memories of her mother because, again, benjamin got to her. her love of cats doesn’t help that, but... can you believe that’s her coping mechanism? makes up for it by giving all of her love 2 everyone else!! we love tragedy!! and needing to go to therapy!!

secretly knows her love of cats is weird and dumb. a part of her knows why it’s considered one of the worst musicals ever. but LISTEN. we luv rly weird coping mechanisms!

big dreamer. will develop the most impractical goals. she usually knows they are impractical, but still..... uwu

has decided everyone is good until proven bad! except for,,,, like,,, murderers and rapists,,,,

is #StraightEdge for the most part,,,, literally has a drink maybe three times per year

says “like” a whole lot for someone who majored in english with a concentration in literature and should therefore be more eloquent.

i am not great at these sections!! feel free 2 j refer to her zodiac, personality tests, and character influences!!

literally fox 8. i put the others there bc she’s similar but wow,,,, if u read fox 8 (it’s a short story i recommend it i luv george saunders u can find a pdf online),,,, she is fox 8. 

here u go here is a sample that doesnt need context: "Fox 4 woslike: No ofense, Fox 8? Your ideas are not super praktikal. Dreem, dreem, dreem, said Fox 11. Fox 41 woslike: Fox 8, does this honestly never get old for you?"

OH ALSO. she has a slet. a cat,,,,, named asparagus,,,, whom she calls “gus”,,,,, and y’all know WHY.

recent development: has downloaded tor so she can get on the dark web. why? because she thinks there will be more funny animal videos on there. is shockingly good at navigating it.

CONNECTION IDEAS:

close friends bc we luv that –– roman (nuanced), aylie (nuanced), hazel (nuanced), cleo (nuanced), vic (nuanced), marco (nuanced)

childhood friends whom she possibly had impromptu sleepovers with bc that is v soft and,,,,, y’all i left the city blank for a reason. –– hazel, marco, 

on that note, the person who was like “wait,,,,,,, u know that book was turned into a musical right,,,,,, like,,,,, a musical literally everyone knows” and shook jo’s world

good influence / bad influence –– cleo, vic, 

~*confidant*~

roommate

exes –– ian,

reciprocated pining

unreciprocated pining

someone..... who has accepted..... that she likes cats.... in a way that is not ironic. will see the movie with her. –– aylie, 

an enemy,,,,,, aka this person was like “cats is literally the worst thing in the entire world” and now they r on jo’s very short hit list –– riley

idk!!! im also obvs up for brainstorming!!! luv that!!!

** descriptive connections page is here ( only people who i’m messaging are on it, but i ?? would love to plot w everyone ?? so don’t make the short list make u think i’m trying 2 limit it 2 these ppl auhfoeidla )

LIKE THIS OR HMU TO PLOT !