#i was in tears last night because my legs hurt so bad i couldn't even fall asleep

[firesalamander]

.

[nomoreusername]

It's Not Goodbye

Pairing:Newt x gender neutral reader

Summary:After finding out you're not immune, you are ready to get rid of yourself only to be caught by Newt.

It was okay at first. I felt no different than I always did. I was a bit sore from the Cranks, but it didn't matter. I had saved Newt from the one that tried to kill him, and that's what matters. Nobody ever died from a bite when they're immune.

Unfortunately, they do if they're not. It turns out I was one of the unlucky suckers capable of turning into those things.

At first, I didn't even notice it. There was a lot of pain in my ankle, but it wasn't bad enough to say anything. I thought I was just irritable because I was hot and tired. That's a reasonable explanation.

Then, I noticed something. Black veins started growing from the bite. That's when it finally kicked in. I wasn't immune. Now I have two options. I could kill myself or spend my life as one of those things. The choice is obvious.

I didn't tell anybody. I just didn't have enough energy. Apparently, the flare gives you enough energy to harshly shove your friend to the ground though. Minho ended up with bloody elbows after that. I went full force. All eyes turned to me, and it was obvious that everyone was pretty pissed off that I would do that. Everyone ignored me for the rest of the day.

As night fell I thought about it. My last day with them was spent with me holding back tears. I hurt my friend without thinking about it. I was dangerous which meant I had to leave. It was now or never.

Unfortunately, the only gun was in Newt's bag. I cautiously kneeled next to him. Since he was using it as a pillow I used my hand to support his head. By some miracle he didn't wake up, and I had the gun in my hands.

That's when it went wrong. Newt woke up, and in my fear I dropped him and ran. He was quickly startled awake. He looked in the bag and noticed the missing gun. By then I was already out of sight.

I put the gun against my head as my breathing grew heavy. I sucked in as much air as possible and closed my eyes. Then, I went to pull the trigger.

"No!"Newt yelled, snatching it from my hand. I quickly pulled him down and held him to the ground. He groaned in pain, and I realized just how evil I was becoming.

"I'm sorry Newt, but I have to do this. Just give it to me,"I pleaded.

"No. You're not doing this,"He argued, keeping it close to him. I knew it could go off so I took it from his hands. Before I could do anything he knocked it away, and the last bullet was set off.

"No! What have you done?! What did you do?!"I cried, rushing towards it. I did everything to click it over and over as if I could set it off. Nothing happened.

"Why would you do this? How could you do this to me?"I sobbed, burying my face in my hands. By now the others had woken up and came over to see what was happening. I'm sure it was a terrible sight. I was crying while holding a gun, and Newt was frozen in shock.

"You killed me. You killed me in the worst way possible,"I sobbed, biting my lip to hold back my screams. I heard my friends run to my side to figure out what was happening.

"I couldn't let you-"

"I'm infected. Why do you think I've been so angry lately? It's already happening. I'm losing my mind, and you just made it go on,"I explained, my throat sore from the sobbing.

A heavy silence filled the air. I pulled my pant legs to reveal the way veins were growing so it would sink in.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry,"Newt uttered, wrapping his arms around me. I just sat there and let him hold me.

"I need another way. I can't live like this."

"What if we can find some way to help? Maybe we could slow it down until we get there,"Teresa spoke up. I sadly shook my head.

"You all saw what I did to Minho. I just did it to Newt. I'd rather die as I am than being hated."

"We don't hate you,"Thomas whispered.

"Not yet. Please, help me. Let me do something. Anything,"I begged. By now even the wind seemed to stop making any noise.

"I found a knife in the mall. It's the only thing I have. I don't think anyone has anything else"Newt whispered.

"It sounds better than being beaten by Aris's bat,"I attempted to joke, giving a sad smile. I was more than thankful when he did his best to return it though it looked like a grimace.

"I'll go get it now,"He said quietly. I nodded my head as he walked away.

As he did my friends, new and old, kneeled beside me. I let them hug me, knowing it would be the last time. By now several tears from them were falling. I didn't have it in me to do that. All I knew was that I would die still being loved. That was enough.

"I'm sorry,"Minho whispered. I just sadly shook my head.

"I think I'd be just as bad if something like that happened to me,"I assured him. Before he could say anything else Newt was back with a tear streaked face.

Everyone moved as he sat beside me. He was trembling as placed the knife in my hand.

"I guess this is goodbye,"He uttered. I shook my head no.

"I don't believe in goodbyes. I'll see you later,"I corrected him.

"Okay. I'll see you later,"He repeated, placing one last kiss on my lips. It was the slowest one we ever had because it was going to be our last for a long time. Eventually, we had to pull apart.

More tears ran down his face which I wiped away. He leaned into my touch.

"I need you to go back to the campsite. Don't turn back tomorrow. Go forward so you don't have to see me like that. Can you do that for me?"I asked.

"I will. I love you Y/N."

"I know. I love you too. Now this is the part where we walk hand in hand."

"And after that?"

"One last kiss, one last I love you, and whatever comes in the next life."

[dudadragneel]

🖤I was thinking of a lee know/yn fic in which he’s had a lot of work lately and he’s tired and down, so he and yn plan a picnic for the weekend.

it’s all sunny and good weather when the day comes, but inside lee know it’s a whole other story. he wakes up like he didn’t get a single hour of sleep, his stomach is tense and his head hurts. he wakes up earlier than yn so he makes breakfast, but it ends up being a bad idea to eat it and he starts to feel it come right up. it’s random cause he didn’t feel nauseous before, but after the ordeal he definitely is and his stomach isn’t only tense, but also tender now.

when yn wakes up she notices sth wrong but lee know brushes it off as tiredness. she eats her breakfast and they walk to the park with their picnic baskets. good, cause lee know doubted he’d have made it through a car ride.

in the park the sun is bright and it’s hot which messes with lee know quite a bit, but luckily by the time they have to eat a soft breeze has started to blow, calming him down.

they eat their food, but lee know has a hard time and that’s when he may admit he doesn’t feel good, but at this point he’d rather stay in the park, so they do. yn knows that lee know doesn’t like worry, so she doesn’t act too soft about it but obviously cares.

they end up looking at the clouds with lee know laying his head on yn’s legs while she plays with his hair, trying to make loose braids. they unbraid quickly since his hair is short but it’s fine. after a bit he starts feeling better so they film TikToks and decide they want to roll down the hill and see who gets to the bottom faster. childish but fun.

but then everything goes downhill, literally, cause spinning obviously was a bad idea for lee know and now he can really feel his tummy cramping harshly. they go back to their picnic blanket to try to calm him down which doesn’t work, and he starts to feel too hot and suffocated while trying to stop the pain in his stomach, which is making it hard to breathe. it almost makes him tear up cause it’s bad, and when it gets even worse he can’t hold anything back, and I don’t mean only tears…

p.s: I feel like lee know and yn should be kinda similar, so it’d be cool if you could make her have a bit of a teasing and sassy personality like him.

Dear 🖤, I hope you like this one! I tried my best to make them both sassy 😅

A DATE GONE DOWNHILL

Dating an idol wasn't an easy task, first, you needed to mind where you would have your dates so there were no fans or paparazzi around. Second, his hectic schedule made it harder to have actual dates, like dinner, going to the beach, etc, so usually you would meet him at the dorms or your house. And you two had agreed that he'd sleep there whenever he felt like it since being away from the mess and chaos of the dorm could help him relax a bit.

Preparing for a comeback, his last few weeks were totally packed with schedules, he barely rested or ate. He would call you every day to talk about his day and you would listen to every single word he said and you noticed he was sounding more and more tired as the days went by.

When he got a little break, he was exhausted and feeling down, mostly because he couldn't see you and also due to the stress of not getting everything the way he wanted to. He wanted perfection, but that is a hard thing to accomplish.

You couldn't just sit still and watch him like that, he needed a breather so he could relax a bit and replenish his energy for the next round of schedules.

You thought of a picnic and he agreed with the idea. He went to your house so he could get a good night's sleep before the date, he was tired but he wanted to have fun with you.

Morning rose, the day was beautiful and sunny and you were super excited for the date, it was a real one after so many weeks.

However, things weren't looking good for Lee Know, and from the moment he got up, he knew the day would be a tough one. Even after sleeping for 7h to 8h hours straight, he woke completely drained, like didn't sleep at all. He sat on the edge of the bed and assessed his situation, he was tired, his head was hurting and his stomach was acting up.

He liked cooking, especially for you so he went to the kitchen to make breakfast, despite wanting to stay in bed a little longer with hopes that he would feel better.

He made your breakfast, set it on the table, and then made his. He just leaned against the counter and started munching on the light breakfast he made for himself. But after a couple of bites, he started to chew on it and couldn't quite swallow it. He kept on chewing until it turned into mush and forced it down, and it felt gross. He didn't know why that was happening but he soon found out because as soon as he swallowed, he felt it coming back up.

He turned to the sink, opened his mouth, and let out what seemed to be the last bite he had, he quickly turned on the water to wash away that disgusting thing. He was as surprised as he could get because he wasn't feeling nauseous, he thought what he felt when he got up was hunger but now he understood it wasn't. And as if couldn't get worse, he now could say with 100% certainty that he was feeling nauseous and his headache wasn't exactly helping either.

He held himself against the counter, rinsed his mouth, and then took deep breaths to try to calm down. Thankfully he managed to calm down but now his stomach was definitely feeling weird, he had this thought deep in his mind that his stomach would not be accepting food any time soon. Great, what a way to start the day.

After a couple of minutes, you woke up and made your way to the kitchen and saw the image of this handsome boy wearing shorts and a plain white shirt, simple, but the light of the early morning sun shining through the window made him look ethereal.

You walked towards him, wrapping your hands around his waist and kissing him.

- Good morning, Babe.

- Good morning.

He said kissing you as well. When you pulled away from the hug, you immediately noticed his expression wasn't looking too good.

- Are you okay?

You said, looking him in the eyes.

- Yeah. I'm just tired.

- Couldn't sleep well?

- I did but the week's been pretty packed so I'm still tired.

Lies. But he hoped you'd buy that excuse, the last thing he wanted was to worry you and ruin this so-anticipated date.

- Okay then.

- I made you breakfast.

He said, still holding your waist and pointing towards the meal set on the table.

- Thank you, sweetie.

You sat down and started eating your breakfast, Minho sitting in front of you, just admiring and patiently waiting for you to finish.

Once you were done, both of you changed into light comfortable summer clothes and finished setting everything inside the picnic basket.

The park you chose was not too far from your house so you decided to walk there and enjoy the scenery together.

Minho was grateful for your choice because even though he was feeling a little bit better he knew a car ride would have the worst outcome.

The walk to the park consisted of both of you complaining about how hot it was and how it felt like it was burning you alive.

Finally arriving, you two found a nice spot next to the lake and underneath a big tree, which meant you'd have a nice shade for your picnic.

Since you just had breakfast, none of you wanted to eat just yet, and Minho preferred not to eat all. He was feeling better when they left the house, but the walk under the sun and just how hot the park was, had messed with him. His head was hurting and honestly starting to throb, he was feeling a bit lightheaded, and his stomach was acting up.

Shit. Will the date really go wrong? He thought to himself, but he still didn't want to tell you about it, even though you had already picked up.

- While the sun melts us off our bones... Let's chat for a bit.

He said with a tone of sarcasm and a smile that just made you laugh. The way he managed to say such things and then put on a soft, but also almost menacing smile after was amazing.

- Why are you laughing? Am I funny?

- No. It's just the way you said it

- Oh, so I'm not funny? Okay, I'll remember this.

- Oh stop, Babe!

You said laughing and shoving him, earning a cute laugh.

You two talked, while the sun did indeed melt you, but you two made an effort to not talk about work or it would stress both of you, and your goal was to help Lee Know to get his mind off work.

You really wanted to enjoy the picnic, but it was scorching hot, not even the shade was doing much. The extremely high temperature was still doing its number on Minho, his head was throbbing and the sunlight wasn't exactly helping, he was starting to feel nauseous and worried if he'd manage to eat something or even just enjoy the date. When a sharp pain stung his head, he flinched a little and it caught your attention.

- Honey, what is it?

- Nothing, just looked at the sun and my eyes hurt.

- You didn't bring any sunglasses, did you?

- No.

- Here, put these on, and see if they'll help.

- Thanks.

It did help a bit, but everything else was still annoying him, yet he was in his decision to not tell you anything.

After a few more minutes of chatting, it was about lunchtime, so you started to organize the food you had brought.

Fortunately, the sun was hidden by some clouds and a light breeze cooled both of you down and relaxed Minho, who was tense at the thought of having to eat.

- Let's eat!

He had helped you prepare everything the night before, and both of you were good cooks, so it was safe to say the food was delicious. You were really excited to try everything, now Lee knows, not so much. Just the sight of everything and all the smells mixing together circling around him because of the breeze was making him start to feel sick again. He took a deep breath in and grabbed something to eat.

While you were enjoying and savoring every bite of everything, Minho was having a hard time swallowing the tiny bites he was trying to eat. He'd take a bite and chew until it turned into a tasteless paste, which made it even harder to swallow, he almost gagged a few times.

Surprisingly, he managed to eat a few things but they didn't taste as good as he'd wished, the same process of chewing it and trying to swallow repeated, and then his stomach sent him a warning, telling him that was enough food.

He was almost regretting eating at all when his stomach started to feel really full and off, the food obviously not sitting well. The feeling was so annoying he couldn't quite hide it anymore.

- Honey...

He said quietly, fidgeting with his fingers while looking at you, who was still enjoying your meal.

- What is it? Are you done eating?

You asked with a certain tone of surprise, noticing he didn't do as much as he usually did.

- Yes...I don't feel good...

- What is it?

- My stomach...

- Do you wanna go home?

- Not really, between staying at home and here. I'd rather stay, it's cooler here.

- Alright.

He took a few sips of water and hoped it wouldn't mess with his already sensitive stomach and it didn't, thankfully.

Since the sun was still hidden, you two decided to watch the clouds and just try to get rid of all the stress you'd been feeling.

He lay down on your lap and you lower yourself to kiss him, making his heart skip a beat.

- I like that.

He said with a beautiful smile, extending his hand to touch your cheek and tuck your hair behind your ear.

- I love you.

- I love you too, honey.

You reaffirmed, mimicking the gentle gesture. He closed his eyes and focused on the breeze and your presence, trying to relax every fiber in his body and enjoy the moment.

- Babe?

- Hm?

- Can I braid your hair?

- Only if you make me look pretty.

- Don't you trust my skills?

- Your hair styling skills? Nope.

- Minho!

- I'm joking.

He laughed. You proceeded to make tiny braids in his silky hair but they'd get undone as you went on, but he seemed to be enjoying it so you didn't mind.

Your touch and the light breeze that was still around, helped him feel a bit better, not 100% but enough to enjoy the date a bit more.

- Babe, do you wanna film some TikToks?

- Why? As long as it's not a challenge...

Since TikTok got famous, it became a trend to do challenges of every music that came out, he'd be lying if he said he wasn't a bit tired of it.

- It's not. I just wanted to film this moment. We don't get to go on many dates like this, so I wanna make memories and cherish them.

He smiled at you and got up, and then you set the phone so it would record. He stood out his hand and asked:

- Will you grant me this dance?

- Of course.

You said blushing and taking his hand, he pulled you closer to him and kissed you before starting the dance.

You two were so lovey-dovey, that if it were any of the other members with their s/o, Minho would be teasing them non-stop.

When you decided to do other dances and asked him to teach you some moves, he started teasing you, but you wouldn't let it slide.

- Woah, since when you were so bad at dancing?

- What? I'm bad at dancing? Are you sure you're not a bad teacher?

- I'm the best teacher out there, you're just not a good student.

- Of course, I am! Get off your high horse, Mr Lee Minho. I actually learned some of your choreographies by myself, and they were perfect. Admit it, you're not a good teacher.

You said crossing your arms and smiling menacingly at him.

- Alright, touché.

You recorded a few more videos, dancing together and just laughing and enjoying every single second, and then you had an idea.

- Say, why don't we roll downhill, and the last to get to the bottom pays for dinner?

- Deal.

Minho had no idea why he agreed so quickly, knowing that doing that would probably be the last straw, and boy, it was.

You were enjoying this date like a kid and Lee Know wish he could say the same, it was painful to see you so happy while he couldn't share that with you.

- Ready?

- Ready.

- 1, 2, 3 go!

You started the race and as Lee Know was going down, everything inside his stomach was rolling around as well, it was revolted and angry at him, to say the least.

You got to the bottom faster than him and started to celebrate, but then you noticed that something was definitely wrong, Minho wasn't just tired.

When he reached the bottom, he immediately got up so he was kneeling on the grass. He grabbed his middle with one hand while the other helped keep his body steady, his stomach was cramping really badly and its contents were still swirling around.

- Honey? Are you okay?

- No...my stomach is killing me.

- Let's go back up, come on.

- Can you help me?

- Yes.

You went to his side, put one of his arms on your shoulder, and wrapped yours around his waist helping him up and guiding him up. The pain was bad enough for him to walk up while hunched over, arm still holding his stomach.

- Here we are.

You gently helped him sit down and grabbed a water bottle, handing it to him.

- Try to drink slowly.

He tried taking small sips but it wasn't working, his stomach was cramping without giving him any break. And to add to his misery, the sun was out again and it seemed like it was hotter than before.

- It's too hot...

He complained, fanning his shirt, suddenly his clothes felt tighter against his skin, like it was trying to suffocate him. The air around him felt hot and he couldn't breathe properly, so his breathing was erratic and he was almost hyperventilating.

- Honey, I need you to breathe with me.

You were now getting worried about him having heat exhaustion.

- Honey, you have a tank top underneath, right?

- Y-yes-.

He said weakly, trying to regulate his breathing. You knew he wasn't comfortable with being shirtless, especially in public, as you found out early in your relationship, that he only felt comfortable enough with you or the members.

- Then take off your shirt, it'll help you feel less hot.

He took it off and you placed a cool ice pack you had brought, on his nape. But the discomfort was too much, it wasn't only the nausea or the heat but also the pain in his stomach and the fact that he was ruining the date you were so excited about. It was getting so unbearable he started crying silently.

- Minho? What's wrong?

But he didn't answer, he was too focused on breathing through the nausea and the pain, you noticed his distress and grabbed his hand, trying to ground him.

- I'm right here Babe.

He squeezed it so tightly it almost hurt you, but you didn't mind, as long as it could help, even if just a little bit.

But his stomach decided it had enough, it started cramping even worse as if punishing him for stupidly agreeing with rolling down a hill.

When got really quiet, focusing his gaze on the ground, not moving a muscle.

- Minho?

You barely had the chance to ask anything before he gagged one time and turned around so he wouldn't soil the blanket. He coughed up a thick stream of partially digested food and you could see pieces of the lunch he just had.

You placed your hand on his back and started rubbing it up and down, while still holding his hand. He had his eyes squeezed and a painful expression on his face, as another bout of vomit gushed out immediately followed by another that left him out of air.

- That's it, Babe. Just get everything that's bothering you, out.

His stomach cramped again, making him lurch forward, arching his back painfully forcing out another wave of putrid vomit.

He was feeling so embarrassed that you had to see him like this. The fact that he was the second oldest in the group made him build a wall around him, a wall that only you and Chan could walk through.

For a moment his stomach gave him a break, allowing him to breathe and only making him spit out thick saliva from time to time.

Thank God there weren't that many people in the park, you knew he'd be feeling 10x worse if there were people looking at him.

- Here honey, rinse your mouth.

He rinsed his mouth and then took very small sips, afraid that whatever made its way in would immediately make its way out. You wiped his mouth, and his forehead which was dumped with sweat, and helped him sit back for a while and see if the nausea would ease a bit.

- There we go.

- I'm sorry...

- You don't need to apologize honey.

- But I ruined our date and you were so excited about it.

- You didn't ruin anything. We had fun, didn't we?

- Yes but look at the mess I made.

- Honey, I knew you looked off this morning but I didn't say anything out of respect for you. I know you don't like us getting worried about you, so I decided to just wait for you.

- I appreciate it.

- Say, why don't we go home so you can take a shower and rest? It's getting too hot in here and it won't help you.

- Yes, please.

- Alright. Just let me get this organized first.

You packed everything inside the basket and then walked up to Minho.

- Honey, can you stand? Or are you feeling dizzy?

- A bit dizzy...

The heat along with the ordeal of throwing up everything he'd eaten made him feel weak, he just wanted to go home but he was afraid of collapsing and worrying you even more.

- Just...give me a minute...

- Of course.

You sat down beside him, placing the ice pack on his neck again.

- Take deep breaths, babe.

You said as your other hand rested on his chest, trying to provide him as much comfort as you could.

He grabbed your hand and tried breathing along with you. After a few minutes, he felt well enough to try to walk home.

You helped him up and wrapped your arms around him.

- I'm sorry...

- Minho, stop apologizing, please. Let me know if you feel faint or if you wanna throw up again, ok?

- Yeah.

He was completely exhausted, all his energy had been drained from his body and he was still feeling too hot, it was still difficult to breathe properly. He was a professional dancer, he was an idol, he had to dance and sing at the same time and yet, today, this short walk home was making him insanely tired.

His vision was swaying and his stomach was acting up again, the last thing he needed was to vomit in the middle of the street but his body didn't give him much of a choice.

- Honey...I'm gonna be sick

- There's a bench over there, come on.

You guided him to the bench and gave him a plastic bag that was inside the basket. He grabbed the edges and burped a few times before vomiting what felt like his guts, the sound of it hitting the plastic made you grimace a little.

He didn't take a breather before retching again, bringing stomach acid and water.

- Babe, I don't think you have anything left to vomit.

You took the plastic bag and disposed of it, then you gave Minho some water to rinse his mouth again.

You helped him up again and the rest of the walk back home didn't have any more accidents.

Getting home, he went straight to the shower, wanting to get rid of the disgust he was feeling from throwing up.

When he walked out, face a little red because of the sun, you had already gotten the bed ready so he could properly.

He lay down next to you embracing you, eyes still watery and extremely vulnerable, which was a side of him everyone rarely witnessed.

You embraced him back, placed a kiss on the top of his head and didn't say a word, respecting him. Just holding him, and rubbing his back as he cried, you didn't need to say anything, you just needed to be there and you were.

Minho could be mistaken for a cold person, but deep inside he was a warm person who cared for everyone before himself. He could be the second oldest, but he was Chan's precious dongsaeng and your most cherished soulmate.

[doe-eyed-fool]

Fallen {Chapter Seventeen}

Alastor x (Fem)Reader

Alastor wasn't in the hotel the next day, I suspected him to be off causing chaos and overall calamity. But then again, he could have just been home. Which by the way, it seemed that no one in the hotel knew where Alastor stayed, other than the hotel.

Not even Charlie. I couldn't give directions even if asked, all I knew is what his home and the surrounding area looked like. Other than that, I couldn't help but feel there was something off with him last night. His grin wasn't as wide, and there was this look in his eyes...

I couldn't quite describe it.

Maybe I should have just kept my secret to myself last night. It wasn't anyone's business, much less their problem. No one needs to or wants to hear about it.

I sigh and make my way down the stairs of the hotel into the lobby. I was greeted by Charlie. "Good morning, Y/n!" She says as she approaches me. "I wanted to thank you for those ideas you gave me. Everything we talked about came in today. I don't play a ton of video games, but I had fun playing the ones we have." I couldn't help but smile. "I'm glad I could help."

Charlie gave me a tight hug before pulling away. "With this, we are one step closer to bringing in new patients! And, one step closer, to you being redeemed!"

My smile fell slightly. "Yeah...Hopefully." This whole redemption thing had me thinking. If I were casted out of heaven, it had to have been for a reason. I don't know what I did, but it must have been pretty bad for God to throw out one of his angels.

What had I done? What had I said? Even if the chance of redemption was possible in a place like this, who's to say God would forgive me?

If I truly were meant to be in heaven, I would not be where I am now...

Maybe I deserve this...

All of a sudden, I felt unwell. "Um, Charlie, I think I'm gonna get some fresh air." Charlie gave me a concerned look. "Are you still not feeling well?" She asks. "I'm not sure, I just..." I trailed off. Charlie put her hand on my shoulder. "I know it's tough right now." She says in a hushed voice, as not to draw attention.

"But it will get better. We'll figure something out. I promise you, you're going to be ok soon. You just have to keep your head up, and have faith in us. Just like we have faith in you." I only nodded, fearing I'd start to cry if I spoke. "Take all the time you need." She says before I walk past her.

I know I wasn't suppose to leave the hotel without Alastor. But I didn't care right now. I couldn't take this. I stepped outside of the hotel and walked down the stairs, pausing after descending the last step.

I look up, same red sky, same pentagram, same feeling of being trapped. Tears began to run down my face, I choke out a sob before falling to a sit. I hug my legs to my chest and hide my face in my knees.

I'm an idiot. At the end of the day, Alastor is not all-powerful. What can he really do to help me? So far, he's done nothing significant. That deal I made with him...I might as well just ask him to take my soul instead of just dancing around it.

I was going to be stuck down here forever.

"I never did like seeing a lady cry."

My crying paused, I slowly lifted my head to see Alastor standing before me. "What troubles you this time, dear?" He asked. I was so upset, so hurt, I felt betrayed by my own god, and I was angry. So, it didn't surprise me when I finally lost my temper.

"What do you think!?" I snap. "I'm going to be trapped here for all eternity! There is no hope for me, there never was! If I'm down here, I'm down here for a reason! There is no going back!" I stood up. "And that deal I made with you, either call it off, or just take my soul because I'm done!" My voice cracked, my anger dissolving into sadness once more.

"I wish you had never found me! I wish you never had given me hope that there was a way out! I wish you had just left me in that ally to die!"

"Death would would be better than this." I mutter. "Lost...Abandoned, without an answer as to why...I can't go on like this for the next eternity...I just can't..."

Silence fell upon the two of us. I might have made him angry by snapping at him like that. But I just don't care anymore. If he does end up getting mad and killing me right here and now...then so be it-

"I think it's about time you get a reality check."

I look at Alastor, his demeanor was clam and controlled. "You are right, in one way. You are trapped down here. There is no escaping Hell, and this silly little hotel and the princess' false hope, is only going to further fill your head with delusions." Oh wonderful.

"Great, so what? I'm just your slave now?"

Alastor stepped closer to me. "Let me finish. I can't get you out of Hell, I'm afraid that's out of my control entirely. You are right about that. But, preferring to die over finding a new purpose? How wrong you are. My dear, look around you. This place will eat you alive. So why not do something about it?"

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"It will take some time, but with my help, I say you'd make a fine demon. Though, only on the inside. Physically, is where the challenge lies."

"I can't be like that."

"And there is your problem. There is no one here to judge you for what you do now. No one frankly gives a damn down here. This isn't Heaven, this is Hell. And if you don't bite first, you'll be bit. And I assure you, Hell will bite down hard and not let go."

I took a moment to think about his words. He had a fair point. There was no judgement in Hell, no punishment. You could murder, steal, drink and drug yourself half blind, and no one could tell you you're wrong or tell you no.

But Hell would destroy you mentally and physically. If I couldn't get stronger, I'd be hurt or killed regardless.

Why should I have to suffer any longer than I have? Why should I allow myself to be walked all over? And for what?

I clenched my fist tightly. "Fine. I'll do it. Whatever it takes, I'll do whatever you want. Just help me, and this time...actually help me."

Alastor grins. "Excellent. Now, I'll do you a favor and call off our last deal. But, we're going to make a new one. This time, I'll help you become a proper demon. And in return, you keep doing what you've been doing."

"Amusing you?" Alastor nods. "But, I haven't...have I?"

Alastor only chuckles before continuing. "Do we have a deal?" He asks. I look down at his outstretched hand. I slowly take it.

"Deal."

[v3nusxsky]

Hii

Can you do a ladylesso x female reader.

It's there anniversary and reader wants to be pounded problem is the last time they did it lesso ended up hurting her by accident so lessos alittle paranoid. Reader ends up convincing her and ya(reader keeps asking lesso to go faster and faster)

Idk have reader squirt, legs and body shaking, can't even make out words just noises. Did it so much in the middle of it reader needs to catch her breath.

(Slap, mommy, and breeding kink.maybe have reader leaking alittle, maybe a few tears of pleasure and drooling)

...ok thank u bye

Show me love| NSFW

*Authors note~ lesso smut is honestly one of my favourites to write*

Trigger Warnings~ lesso dom sub r reader squirting mommy kink slap kink breeding kink strap on

Prompt~ see ask^^^^^

✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿

If there was one thing you wanted for your anniversary it was to be railed within an inch of sanity by your wife. You knew your request would take some convincing, she was sure that you shouldn't be doing that kind of rough sex ever again. The thought of hurting you made her heart ache and twist uncontrollably. But of course you had a plan to combat this. You need a good old fashioned dicking down and you weren't gonna stop at anything to achieve your desire.

Leonora often had more paper work than you to complete most nights, that gave you ample chance to prepare for her arrival and dress in some of your skimpier sets that she absolutely couldn't help but drool over. You were proud of your appearance and judging by the clock Lesso would be arriving soon. You decided to warm up for her, after all tonight was purely a selfish need. You needed her to fuck you good and proper and if she wouldn't do it because of a fear of hurting you then you'd make sure you were ready to take her in all her glory.

Your anniversary gift to Leo was a special enchanted strap on, it would allow her to feel everything as if was actually a part of her body. You also had one of the potions teachers enchant it to be the perfect size for you and Leonora. It was special and you couldn't wait to see her reaction to it. A slightly selfish gift but one you knew would be used more often than not.

Leonora entered the room she was greeted with you spread out on the bed, a perfectly wrapped present with a small bullet teasing your clit. You couldn't help but wither against the sensations and whimper for your girlfriend to pound into you until you couldn't walk for two weeks. "Dove" she warned as her eyes darkened at the suggestion, "I don't want to hurt you sweetheart."

You switched the vibrator off and shakily sat up to hand your girlfriend the bag containing your gift. "Happy anniversary Leo" you murmured before kissing her sweetly. "Well aren't you the prettiest present baby" she murmured back causing you to giggle and point to the bag.

"Darling? Is that a?" She trailed off as the realisation set in. "I need you mommy," you whined and your hips rolled in a show of your desperation, " it's special Leo, try for me please?" You have her the best puppy eyes and crawled forward allowing her to get an eyeful of your breasts. "If it hurts even the slightest you will safe word" it was more a demand than a question but you still found yourself nodding in confrontation. "Then by all means dove, let me ravish you."

Ravishing you was exactly what she was doing, your whole body showered with loving touches and kisses as she showed you just how appreciative she is to call you hers. To say you were drenched by the time she had finished loving on you was a massive understatement. "Oh dove, is this all for mommy? You really want mommys cock that bad" she purred toying with the wetness that laid there. "So bad mommy please, please take me" you mewled hoping the red head would take pity on you.

Lesso used her magic to strip herself of her clothing. Watching Leonora strapping up was definitely a sight you wished to commit to memory but sadly you lacked the ability to do so. You were practically drooling at the sight of her new appendage watching as she made her way to her bedside table and pulled out her own gift. A vibe that would easily attach to the shaft of her new toy. "I'm going to absolutely ruin you darling dove, you're gonna regret being such a whore and begging for me to do this" she purred before adding some lube to her new cock.

"Mommy please" you whimpered squirming on the bed as she made quick work of the thin material leaving you bare and at her disposal. The strangled cry you let out as the woman pushed the head of her faux cock into your soaked folds. The sting was overwhelming at the start but it seemed to ease off as she slowly repeated the pattern of pushing in and waiting before continuing. It wasn't long till you'd taken the whole length, the enchantment stopping the length from being more than you could reasonably handle.

Lesso let out a shocked gasp at feeling just how tight and wet you were for her. "Dove I can fuck what" she whispered seemingly transfixed on where your sex joined with her cock. "Surprise mommy" you whimpered as your hips bucked upwards. "Oh you dirty girl, you had the strap enchanted?" She murmured before bringing her lips to Latch onto your neck, "I need to move baby you're suffocating my dick" she purred against your pulse point.

The moment lesso pulled out to push back in was absolute heaven, it didn't take much longer for her to find a rhythm that had you becoming a blubbering mess. True to her word, Leo was absolutely ruining you, she brought you over the edge more times than you can count, each time she stuffed you with her massive load. You felt so full but now lesso had gained confidence she didn't seem to be stopping no matter how much you mewled about being too sensitive.

The moment Lesso activated her gift you screamed, the vibrations adding to the feeling of being stuffed with cock and her cum. "Mommy mommy fuck I'm gonna pee" you cried hoping she would stop only to realise it encouraged her. You squirted all over her dick as she muttered something about making sure you were nicely bred with her cum. After cleaning up you and your lover spent the anniversary cuddled up in one and others arms feeling fully stated for now.

Word count ~ 1137

Tag list~ @farahtissaiamyloves @i-write-sometimes-maybe @blu3berrykiss3s

[plottingdaisies]

Flash Fiction Prompt Fill for the Shrimps (hi guys love you!). It's about the moon guys! I'm still very much in the "figuring out how my own world works" phase of all of this, so this is rough and also very likely subject to change! CW: Suggestions of an abusive home life, but not explicit.

Half In, Full Moon

More than the werewolves curse the full moon.

"Tennessee Jean Puck-Phillips, if you don't come out of there this instant, your daddy's gonna have you scrubbing the bathroom floors with a toothbrush for a week," Edie shouted through the thick door as she hammered on it with the side of her fist. "If we're late to the rotary club potluck, he isn't going to be happy!"

Tenny petulantly kicked the wall from inside their bedroom closet where they hid. "I'm not going!" they shouted and crossed their arms, even though mama couldn't see it. "Dad only goes because it makes people think he cares about shit other than-"

"Language, Tenny!"

Tenny kicked the wall again, accidentally threw their balance off and bit their lip with a too sharp incisor during their rapid descent against the wall. Even their blood tasted wrong, like a fruit gone a little too soft instead of pennies. "Damn it, mama. Ain't you looked at the almanac lately? Or you know, the sky?"

Tenny had seen it, sitting up there the night before, taunting them as the skin at the edge or their hairline began to hurt.

The This-Side almanac called it a "Buck Moon". For Tenny, it was just a plain old problem.

That's what they got for being born half This-Side and half the Other. Everyone who knew anything knew that the Other-Side got stronger, more apparent in places it wasn't ever meant to when the moon was full and big in the sky.

Their mother's incessant knocking paused. "Oh no, Tenny-Jean. Is it bad?"

"What do you think, mama? I'm hiding in a closet instead of going to the place where Mrs. Robbins is going to bring her pecan pie! You know I'd put up with all of daddy's schemin' for her cooking." Tenny rubbed their face in their hands, pretending they didn't feel the little bumps just about their temples.

"Let me in so I can see. I can help you hide it like last time," Edie Puck begged softly.

Tenny groaned and slowly trudged their way out of the closet, across the hardwood floors, being sure to leave as many scuff marks as they could manage with the soles of their shoes. They huffed as they reached out to unlock the door and turn the heavy and all too expensive bronze doorknob. "Face powder and those dark lenses aren't gonna do it this time, mama," they whined as they opened the door.

Edie Puck, wife of an Other-Side creature of impressive notoriety and power, placed her hand over her mouth to try to suppress the surprised gasp. She was unsuccessful.

Tennessee Jean Puck-Phillips stood before her in all their awkward teenage glory. Gangly arms and legs protruded from a rumpled linen shirt that was like to drown them, no doubt pilfered from one of the boys who worked in the stables as Tenny was prone to doing (and in their defense, they really hated the clothes in their own closet), and pants that were too short. All of this was to be expected, of course. A rapidly growing teenager never fit their clothes quite right. Besides, Tenny never wore clothes that fit right or fit expectations.

No, the bit of Tenny's appearance that startled their mother so was a little northward and had little to nothing to do with their frustrating free-spirit and wrinkled clothes.

Two hard little nubs protruded from the top of Tenny's head like a young buck's brand new, baby antlers. Their eyes were entirely green with a dark, narrow vertical slit for  pupils, reptilian in appearance. And where one might expect the red marks that so helpfully announced that puberty had a child in its unforgiving grasp, sat opalescent scales on their cheeks and forehead that shimmered in the light.

"Mama, please!" Tenny cried out in despair, unable to hold back the distressed tears they'd been so feistily holding back like it was a matter of life and death that they not cry. "Everybody already thinks I'm weird! I can't go out in public like this!"

Edie pulled Tenny into a hug, cradling their face against her shoulder. "Oh baby, we can get you a nice hat, or a bandana. Your glasses will hide your eyes, and the face powder will cover the rest."

"Mama, look at my teeth, and my ears. I look like a monster! And everything smells weird right now. And what if Charlie sees me like this? He'll never want to talk to me again. And the whole school will find out. And what if there's iron there? Last time I went out on a full moon, I got an iron burn on my hands that took two weeks to go away!" Tenny babbled rapid fire. "It'll ruin my life! Just tell everyone I'm sick. It's close enough to the truth! I'm cursed! I hate this!"

"Tenny-Jean, you are not cursed," Edie chastised gently.

"Yes, I am," Tenny argued, words muffled by Edie's clothes. "You're cursed too, don't act like you ain't."

"Tenny, I asked you not to talk like that."

Tenny pulled back from their mother's embrace. "Mama, can you just be honest with me, just this once?" Tenny asked with their pleading, unnatural eyes turned up at their mom, who would only be taller than them for a little while longer. "Every full moon, I turn into a freak. I can see everything other people can't, and it ain't pretty! You literally can't leave the house unless daddy says so. I've seen you tryin', mama. People don't just start smoking all over just cause they crossed a threshold they weren't supposed to. He's cursed you for falling for him and cursed me by my being born."

Edie grimaced, her lip trembled and for just a moment, a precious little second that Tenny grasped and held onto like it was a life preserver, they thought their mother was going to open up. Be the mother they needed so badly. But then Edie breathed in deep, exhaled and dodged the matter entirely by saying, "He can teach you to hide it, if you'd ask."

Tenny turned their back on her and sat down on their bed, cradling their head in their hands. "Nothing daddy does is help. And nothing you get from him his free. Wish you'd stop lying to yourself."

Tenny looked up at Edie. Edie, their human mother, who was trapped and scared and broken down, and all Tenny could see was a coward. Someone who'd given up. "I ain't like you, mama. I'm not gonna let him win just because he's my daddy." Tenny spat bitterly, hoping their words hurt a little bit. "And I ain't like him neither, just because I look like his true face sometimes. I got my own tricks. I'll get out of here, and I'll take you with me."

Edie rolled her eyes, buttoning up the hurt welling in them. She'd gotten so good at pretending, Tenny wasn't sure she knew she even was anymore. "Every teenager thinks they know more than they do. Don't go causing trouble just cause the moon reminds you of him." Then she added, softly but with begging urgency, "Please."

Tenny huffed, and refused to meet their mother's eyes.

Half on This-Side, half on the Other. Tenny knew there was a trick to their "inheritance", they just needed to do a little more digging. "Whatever. Just ... just be sure to bring me a slice of Mrs. Robbins's pie. I'm going to bed."

Well, that was a lie. Tenny was going to pretend to go to bed. Then they were going to trick the door to Tennessee's study into letting them in. Doors to the Other-Side loved a good trick, and it would be a shame to let a full moon pass them by without getting into a little trouble.

[sweetbillwriting]

Love Just Happens

The Last Chapter

Characters: The future's Bill Skarsgård and others close to him. The rest is my own characters.

Setting: This story is set in the future but because it's hard to say how the world is then (and it isn't that important for the story) the future is similar to our time now, even with fashion and so on.

Warnings: 18+, age difference, smut, alcohol, ageism, violence, mention of rape, cheating, kinks and fetishes, pregnancy, sexism, insults about nationality, dub con, mention of prostitution.

Notes: The last chapter. I've loved to write this story and Aurora Lou is my favorite original character ever. I will miss her and Bill. Thank you for reading 🩷

Bill had never seen Aurora look anything other than like the prettiest girl ever but the Aurora he saw in the hospital was far from pretty. He immediately felt bad that it was his first thought but after that it was just an overflow of thoughts and feelings. 

Aurora looked small in the hospital bed in a light blue nightgown. Her legs were full of bruises just like her face and her neck. It was obvious someone had tried to strangle her. She had some sort of gauze compress in her mouth that had bled through. It looked like a train had hit her. Bill didn't know where to look and worried about his facial expression. He was in horror. What has happened? And how was she feeling? Could she see the horror in his eyes? 

"She has lost some teeth and has a wound on the inside of her lip so it will be hard for her to speak…" said the nurse in English so Aurora also would understand. Bill looked at her tired, beat up face and just received a sad look back. 

"Hey babe…" said Bill but couldn't keep himself in check and felt tears run down his cheeks. 

"A couple saw her get beaten up by three young men…" said the nurse while Bill sat down on a chair next to the bed. He didn't dare take her hand because of the needle stuck in the back of it and her knuckles were bloody with wounds. 

Bill dried his tears with the back of his hand and sat quietly, looking at the woman he loved close her eyes because of the pain in her body. 

"She has a concussion, two cracked ribs and two broken fingers…" the nurse nodded to Aurora's other hand. Where Bill also could see her nails had broken and fallen off. 

"God… Shit…" Bill said and leaned forward closer towards Aurora. He wanted to ask if they had hurt her by rape but didn't know if he had right to know that. 

"We have done a rape kit, with Aurora's approval. She doesn't remember much from the abuse so she doesn't know what had happened…"

Bill looked at Aurora while the nurse spoke. Fat tears fell from her eyes where she lay motionless. 

"Fuck Honey… Älskade Lou… Fan…" said Bill with the tears streaming but also with anger in his voice. Who would do such a thing? Aurora, that kind sweet soul, why would anyone touch her?

"We don't have any beds to offer you I am afraid but it's okay if you want to spend the rest of the night here." 

Bill just nodded. He would sleep on the floor if he had to. The nurse walked away and left Bill with Aurora who just barely looked alive. She breathed heavily with closed eyes and didn't seem to have energy for anything else. 

"Lou… Jag älskar dig så jävla mycket… Babe… I love you…" Bill said softly and then repeated those words until the both of them fell asleep for a couple hours. 

××× 

Bill woke up by a giggle he recognized well and felt a warm feeling spread throughout his body. He smiled with relief and opened his eyes with joy even if his body hurt from sleeping in a simple chair. A nurse was checking Aurora's mouth and Aurora sat up by herself in the bed. Even with all the bruises and wounds she looked happy and sweet. 

"Sechy right?" She said to Bill when she saw him watching. She turned to him and showed him her missing two front teeth on her lower jaw and a corner tooth on the upper jaw. Bill swallowed hard but Aurora smiled at him. 

"It's eashily fiched," she said with a smile and then took the gauze compress to hold against her lip, the inside was still bleeding. Bill smiled warmly at her and dragged his finger carefully over her thigh. 

"It's okay to be sad Lou… You don't need to hold up a facade for me." 

Aurora smiled and took Bill's hand in hers even if the needle was in it. 

"There wash no shign of rape, they have found the boysh and I am okay. I want to be happy now," she said to him with a deep eye contact and smiled. Bill smiled too even if he felt stupid he had almost destroyed Aurora's happiness. 

"Then you should be happy. I am happy. As long as you're okay my love."  He leaned forward and with a look asked for permission to kiss her cheek. Aurora smiled a little and leaned her cheek closer to his lips so he could kiss her cheek that had a big purple bruise on it. 

"Can I ask… What do you remember?" Bill said when the nurse had left them alone. Aurora looked down in her lap and shrugged her shoulders. 

"I wash just schtupid… I lefcht you becaushe of panic… I felt scho awful…" Ske looked up at Bill, deep in his big green eyes. 

"But I know now… I can't pretend. I juscht want you." 

Bill smiled with glassy eyes and looked down at the bed sheets, almost like he was embarrassed. 

"Then out of nowhere those guych showed up when I walked towardsch the port… They screamed that I was a whore… That I should leave Schweden becausch no one wants me here…" 

Bill looked at her with a worried gaze but saw that she was calm and reasonable. 

"I'm so sorry this happened to you… That I wasn't there…" Bill said dripped with guilt. He couldn't see that she had chosen to leave, he could just see that she had been with him. 

Aurora shook her head and hugged his hand in hers. 

"You couldn't know… But I'm mad that you alwaysch schaid Schweden is so safe," she teased and Bill sighed. 

"There are assholes… Criminals everywhere." 

"I'm just joking Bill, of coursche I know that," she smiled at him so he would understand she didn't blame him at all. Bill looked at the bloody gauze in her mouth and wished he could kiss her. He knew it wouldn't fix anything but he just wanted to feel that she was his and that she didn't blame him. Aurora didn't blame him at all and she knew she shouldn't blame herself either. The only perpetrators were the men who had beaten her. 

"Can you help me with schome things?" Aurora asked Bill carefully. He looked so tired and he had already done enough just coming to see her at the hospital. 

"Anything, babe," he said and gave her a questioning look. Aurora smiled, he was so cute when he looked all tired and confused. 

"Can you call schome people for me? Mom and my managcher…" 

"Of course, of course. What do you want me to tell them?" 

Bill called Aurora's mother, Erica but also her new friend Sonny. He was surprised knowing the guy he thought was an idiot was so important to her. He felt bad that he had said bad things about the guy, especially when Sonny showed real worry for Aurora and it even sounded like he was crying. He wrote an email to her manager because he couldn't get a hold of her and then called his own Swedish manager with weird feelings. 

"So… You have known all the time that Aurora was here?" Bill asked him. 

"Ehh… Not the whole time, I guessed she contacted me some months after she had come here and wanted some help?" His manager said doubtfully. Bill felt betrayed that his manager had had contact with Aurora, even been to her home and discussed her career, safety and privacy. It was he that had helped her find the best security team, prepare events for her presence and guide her into Swedish society. This had happened at the same time he had worked with Bill. 

"You know I couldn't tell you… You didn't have anything to do with her." 

Bill sighed and walked around in the hospital's corridors restlessly. 

"So how is she?" His manager asked. 

"I don't know… She's so positive and I don't know if it's real? She looks like… To be honest, fucking awful and must be in real pain but still she smiles." Bill shook his head to himself and got chest pains just seeing her beaten face in his head. 

"She's stronger than she gets credit for. She sometimes can get treated quite badly, like she is just a bimbo, but she never lets it affect her." 

Bill nodded. He knew that she could let so many things just run off her, she just cried a bit and then continued forward. Many thought she was a sensitive mess but to be able to work like she did she must be able to move on. 

"I will arrange the security team to get her when she leaves the hospital and also a boat that can take her home. But Bill, you leave tomorrow, right?" 

Bill stayed silent. Of course he had thought about his travel to London for work but he didn't really want to think about it. 

"I must fix that in some way… Can you call Rachel and see if they maybe can start the filming without me? I can't just leave Lou." 

His manager was quiet and took a few seconds to muster up the courage to say what he was thinking. 

"But… She has a boyfriend?" 

Now it was Bill's turn to be quiet. He tensed his jaw together in irritation. The only boyfriend she had was him. No other man was important. 

"I can call Rachel and see but I don't think it will be well received," said his manager when he didn't get an answer from Bill.

"Thanks, say it is a serious reason." 

When they had hung up Bill hurried back to Aurora's room but stopped at the doorway. Mattias stood next to Aurora and brushed her long hair. Bill had gotten used to the bruises on Aurora's face and could just see the girl he loved, the most beautiful girl. He stood silent and watched them. They talked softly with each other and Mattias brushed her hair carefully. Bill had done that for her when they were a couple too. Aurora didn't really like when people touched her hair so she had taught him how to do it, anything just to be close. It seemed like she had taught Mattias too and even such a thing made Bill jealous. 

"Hey…" said Aurora softly and gave Bill a small smile. She could see the hurt feeling in his face and felt her heart drop. She should just be with Bill but everytime she thought that, she could hear his words from the night they got high. 

"I will knock you up as soon as I can…"

She shivered with discomfort again by the words and lowered her gaze. She wanted Bill but he wanted a child more than he wanted her. 

Mattias turned around and gave Bill a strained smile. 

'Thanks for taking care of my girl," he said but then turned his eyes away from Bill, excluding him from their bubble. Bill walked closer towards Aurora even if he felt like he didn't have the right to and laid a hand on her knee. He saw at once Mattias looking down at his hand so to spite him he dragged it up Aurora's thigh a bit. 

"You know I'm always here for you, okay?" He said to Aurora softly like he believed it would stop Mattias from hearing. She smiled warmly towards Bill and swallowed down the tears in her throat. She just gave him a nod because if she tried to speak she would start to cry. Bill gave her an intimate kiss on the cheek then he left the room without looking at Mattias. 

××× 

There wasn't a chance for Bill to stay in Sweden a bit longer. He was one of the leads and they needed him at once. When the director asked him why he needed more time at home he didn't have a good answer and that made the director annoyed, which was noticeable when they started to film. He didn't have a way to contact Aurora, he still didn’t have her number but he also felt it was her time to reach out. She knew what he wanted and for some reason she stayed with Mattias. Bill looked through Aurora's Instagram but she didn't have any new posts but she didn't have any posts with Mattias either, they never had come out as a couple but when he scrolled he found the picture of himself with Aurora. She had saved one post with them, the black and white picture, the first picture she posted after their relationship had been known to the public. Bill saw it as a sign, she had a picture of him but no one of Mattias. The relationship with Mattias had never been real. 

His oldest daughter and his brother Gustaf visited him after one week of filming. It was also the day the gossip tabloids had found out about what happened to Aurora and had a Swedish witness, this time obviously one that had seen it all.

Aurora Lou looked horrible and I really felt for her but she seemed to take it as a strong woman and never lost her good mood or her manners. Instead her boyfriend was worried and grumpy. Bill Skarsgård. It was obvious they are a couple again. He cared for her like it was his only job. They're sweet together. 

It was obvious people on set had read the gossip and when before he was met with annoyance for trying to get more free time he was now met with understanding smiles, even from the director. He was suddenly the good boyfriend, caring for his girlfriend who had been abused. On top of that he hadn't spilled anything about it even if people wondered. He was the great boyfriend. It wasn't like he would correct them. He wanted to be Aurora's boyfriend and it was better for him they thought he was a worried boyfriend. For a minute he felt bad for Mattias who had never gotten to claim Aurora as his but the thought ran off him as soon as he thought about Aurora. She would be his again. 

"Are you together?" Gustaf asked when they sat at the hipster-like restaurant. His daughter, who had picked the restaurant, sat between them. She was shaped by South Stockholm and tried to be cultural and climate conscious. Bill gave her a quick look but she already knew so much and was probably his and Aurora's biggest supporter. 

"No, not yet," Bill said and took a sip of his beer. Gustaf just raised his brows and gave him a nod. 

"What’s stopping you?" Asked his daughter and Bill sighed a bit. It was weird that she was listening but she had involved herself in the whole process. 

"Her boyfriend I guess." He gave her a smile and a shrug. She looked at her dad. She was probably one of the people that could read him the best and she had similar ways herself. 

"But there must be something more? She can just dump him." 

Gustaf made a nod and smirked towards Bill. His daughter looked at her uncle and looked proud, like she had said something really good. 

"Yeah.."

Gustaf looked at Bill who had lowered his gaze and scratched a stain he had found on the table. He dusted off the table several times while he sat in deep thought. Gustaf wouldn't say more in front of Bill's daughter even if she actually had good points. It was too sensitive because it wasn't dad Bill who had a relationship with Aurora. It was the man. The teenage boy. The small and sensitive. The horny. The lovesick Bill. Sides of him his daughter never had seen and made it hard for her to understand. Bill wasn't logical and calm when it came to Aurora, his feelings went wild so it wasn't as simple as just getting together with her. Reasons why they still weren't together could be because of the sides his daughter had never seen. 

Early the next morning while Bill's teenage daughter still slept the brothers had time alone and left the dad and uncle roles behind. 

"You know I haven't been… My most happy self…" said Bill while fidgeting with a pen in his hand. 

"But you're with her. I don't think anyone misses that." 

Bill nodded and looked out from the window of the apartment he had rented in London. 

"But I wonder if I'm maybe too much? I am a grown man acting like a teenager." 

Gustaf smirked and took a sip of his coffee. They had just eaten breakfast but had some space for more coffee.

"That's how it should feel being in love! Bill, don't overthink this now. You two are in love, you said yourself she wants you. It's something else that is stopping her so take the time here to think about what that can be and then go home and do everything in your power to get her." 

Bill smiled to himself and looked at his hands. Gustaf was right and it felt like he probably had a chance even if he didn't know how to start. 

From one of the bedroom doors stood his daughter and listened. It was weird hearing her father be so honest and sensitive. But she loved her father so much and she had a great connection with Aurora. Maybe she could talk to her.

××× 

"I think it's quite awful actually." 

Bill looked confused at the other actor sitting across from him at the table while they ate. Bill had just said to an actress that Aurora was in Sweden. He had been in London for two weeks and the filming was in full swing. He looked at the actor who stretched out in his chair. 

"I mean, she got abused and here you are working like nothing happened. She had broken bones and shit right?" Bill gave the guy a tired look. 

"I tried to come later but…" 

"I would have dropped out." 

Bill didn't say anything because he couldn't really say there was another guy there carrying for her. He still wondered if he made the right decision by coming to London. Maybe he should have dropped out and fought for her but it felt hopeless when she didn't seem to want to be with him. Wouldn't she have broken up with Mattias then? 

 What the other actor had said made it hard for him to concentrate and the director wasn't happy at all with him. 

"He should have just stayed home with his girlfriend…" said the actor to a producer. Bill gave them a look, then the director. He had always been professional, always chosen to ignore conflicts. 

"I could have taken care of her otherwise… And I'm younger than him.. " said the actor laughing. Both of the men laughed and he could hear them continue to joke around and sing and mimic Aurora. Bill didn't care anymore. He wouldn't listen to people talking about Aurora like that, especially not after what she had been through. She was more important than any job. 

"Bill? Bill? Your line?" The director's assistant said annoyed and everyone looked at him strangely. Bill sighed deeply and dragged a hair through his hair. 

"I'm outta here." 

"What do you mean by that?" Said the director with an upset tone. 

"That I don't give a fuck anymore. Now I'm going home to Aurora and yeah, I am old and she is young and whatever you want to say. But she is mine." He had turned to the actor and producer and with a proud smirk walked away from the set. It was time for him to go home and do what he really wanted to do. 

××× 

Bill sat in a taxi home from the airport. It hadn't taken many hours for him to come home and it felt better at once. He should be with Aurora. Just like he had been with his daughter when she fell from the playground. It didn't matter what her title was in his life, for him she was one of the most important people.

He had thought about why Aurora was so difficult and he had started to wonder if it was because of something that happened when they were high but he felt she had been distant already before that. Maybe she believed he wouldn't go fully into it? That he would want it his way? 

He didn't have a clue to be honest but he would prove to her he wanted this so badly. 

Aurora stood in her bathroom and made herself ready for the night. She still had bruises on her face but thanks to some products Erica had sent to her she could almost cover it. Her fingers wore bandages and she stood a bit crooked because of the ribs that hadn't quite healed. Even if she tried her hardest to be as pretty as she used to, it was painfully obvious that she had been through something. She let the tears run down her cheeks and thought back to that night. She had more memories now. Memories of all the insults, like whore, slut, American trash, glorified stripper. She remembered the kicks and a man's hands around her throat and how he had spit in her face. 

Maybe she was all the things they accused her to be. The night they were high she had been a real slut and she cried harder now thinking of it. She had tried to not think about it but it was also the first moment she and Bill had some intimacy in more than two years. She thought back about how Mattias had guided her in how to push her tits against Bill's face. How big Bill had smiled and how Mattias just laughed at it. She had giggled too even if she felt dirty. Like a whore. Like that young stupid girl she always wondered if Bill saw her as. Just a glorified hooker he visited in L.A. His real life was in Stockholm and there he would also create a real life, not that pretend relationship he had with her. 

"I just want to knock you up… That's the only thing I want, just see you all fat but sexy…"

His declarations of love were sweet in the beginning but then it was mostly about sex and making her pregnant. She felt cheap and even if Bill said he loved her she wondered if it was in the same way he had loved his children's mother. She didn't want to be just that young girl he could have fun with but so much in the latest months had pointed in that direction. Also Mattias had shown he had a weird view of her when he sold her like a pimp sells his whore. 

Bill should be with someone that was grown up and had class and privacy not someone like her that showed herself in lingerie in the biggest magazines. He needed a safe role model for his girls. But still she had some hope, still she hoped he could prove to her that she wasn't just "daddy's girl". 

××× 

"I called the security, I promise. I just need to go up here for a… thing," she said while standing with Sonny and some other friends outside of an apartment building in South Stockholm. It was a modest house and her friends couldn't see what she needed to do there. Aurora stood in her high white gogo boots and a pink gingham patterned dress. She had her pink denim jacket on her arm and held a neon green handbag from her own brand. Her friends could see some bruises and the bandage on her fingers but with new teeth and great makeup she almost looked like her perfect self again. 

"Okay, promise, and text us when you are done," said Sonny and gave her a hug. Aurora smiled and hugged back tightly. 

"It's Bill…" she whispered to him. She had denied they were a couple to all her friends but she felt the need to be honest to someone and Sonny gave her a warm smile. 

"So hopefully it may take a longer time than we think…" he said so only she heard him. Aurora blushed and looked down at the ground. 

"I don't know what I want… It's so much… And I am complicated…" 

Sonny smirked. 

"So are all the girls, it’s just that they are not as hot as you," he teased and gave her shoulder a pat. Aurora giggled and hugged him again. 

"I promise to text, promise promise," she said and said goodbye to them all before she took a deep breath and walked into Bill's apartment building with a code that had been texted to her. 

She walked up the three flights of stairs to his floor with a beating heart. She wondered what Bill would say. She was afraid he would just want to have sex or want her but would explain why it would never work. While she was a romantic and hoped life would just solve itself, he was a realist and she knew he saw a lot of problems with their relationship. She heard a person on his floor when she walked up the stairs and got nervous. After the abuse she had been much more nervous and afraid to be alone with strangers. She stopped and listened to the person but realized it was Bill's sound. He cleared his voice and sighed while he seemed to search after something. Aurora took some step up to look at him. He was dressed in a gray zip up hoodie and light denim jeans. His cap lay on the floor while he searched for something in his suitcase. Aurora furrowed her brows while looking at him. Had she misunderstood something? He had sent her the invite for tonight by text but hadn't even gotten inside of the door himself. Her heart dropped. This was a sex meeting. He wanted sex after sitting on a plane. Aurora stood in her own thoughts looking at her fingers. She had fixed her nails but it was obvious some of them were totally in acrylic. 

"Lou?" Bill said after looking at her for a few seconds. She looked confused, like she was lost. She looked up at him and for some long seconds they just looked at each other. 

"Do you want to come in?" Bill said, holding up the keys he finally had found. Aurora looked at him confused because it sounded like he was surprised to see her. "Okay…" she said and walked up the last two steps to his floor. Bill looked at her from top to toe, he could see a bit of the bruises but she had done a great job covering them. He wanted to say she was beautiful but didn't dare because he didn't know her reason to be there. He had no idea why she was there. When she stood next to him he unlocked the door and held it open for her so she could walk in. 

"Oh my god…" Aurora giggled when she walked in and looked around in the apartment. Bill smiled to himself but realized what she had giggled at when he stepped in. Everywhere it was hearts. Heart balloons, strings with them and children's drawings of hearts were put on furniture and walls. 

Bill looked around stunned and gave Aurora an amused, confused look. 

"I guess this isn't you?" She said and giggled again. Just when he was about to answer out came his youngest in a white dress. 

"I can take your coats," she said and tried to sound like a real waitress. 

"But…" Bill continued to look around and parked his suitcase against the wall in the hallway. His youngest gave him a bit of an annoyed look that he didn't play along so Aurora gave her, her denim jacket and took off her boots with a smile. Bill scratched his head but then took off his zipper sweater and gave it to his daughter who looked like she was far gone in her role. He smiled and stopped himself from laughing. What was this? 

He and Aurora looked at each other in amazement and while his youngest hung up their jackets his middle daughter came out in the hallway, also dressed in a white dress. She gave them a little bow. 

"I will be your host for tonight…" She was also far gone in her role and had a white linen towel hung on her arm but she gave her father a disapproving look that made her drop character. 

"Daaad, you can't be dressed like that!" 

Bill wore just a white tank top that slightly shifted to gray because he used it so much. He looked at his two youngest daughters in their white dresses, then at Aurora in her corset dress in white and pink. 

"I can change…?" He said tentatively and pulled on the tank top. His daughters seemed to really make an effort so the least he could do was to redress. 

His middle daughter just gave him an assertive nod and Bill stressed away to his bedroom to find something else to wear. He realized then that someone had obviously cleaned and he wondered if it was his daughters or if it was Hilma who had given him that as a goodbye present. 

Aurora looked around at all the hearts and then smiled at Bill's middle daughter. 

"It's beautiful here but I wonder what your plan is?" 

His daughter giggled and gave Aurora a spontaneous hug. 

"We have made the perfect date for you. So you two can get together again." 

Aurora didn't have time to react before she felt Bill's big, warm hand on her shoulder. She looked up at him a bit confused. He looked handsome in a white button up and he had saved his hair from the imprint from the cap with some hair gel. He smiled a little and made Aurora's soul and cheeks warm. 

"Where is Mattias?" He asked carefully. He knew it was really important for her to not cheat so he didn't want to make a move if she wasn't totally comfortable. Aurora stood silent for a moment and looked at Bill up and down. Even if it was just two weeks ago that they saw each other, she had forgotten how he affected her. 

"Eehhh… I don't know." 

Bill furrowed his brows and scratched his neck. He got nervous because he really just wanted to try to kiss her. 

"I don't know… Ehh… We aren't a couple any more." 

Bill smiled big and bent his knees to be able to look at Aurora.

"Yeah? Yeah?"

Aurora looked at Bill with big eyes then at all of his three daughters who was an audience. She giggled a bit uncomfortable. 

"But…" She gave his daughters a look again and his oldest understood the message and said to her sister's to come to the kitchen. Bill didn't seem to even acknowledge what happened around him. He did but the thought about Aurora as single made him forget everything else. 

"Bill… I'm scared…" Aurora whispered and looked down at the floor. She didn't know if scared was the right word but all her inner thoughts made her just see a relationship with Bill as problematic. 

"Dinner is served," said his oldest daughter and looked out from the kitchen at them. She hadn't heard how long they had come in their conversation but believed it now was okay to interrupt them. Both the grown ups smiled at her even if she had interrupted them. She was also wearing a white dress but also an apron. 

The kitchen table was nicely set with candles and napkins with pink hearts. Aurora giggled again and felt Bill's big hand on her waist. She loved the feeling and looked up at him with a smile even if she had before seemed doubtful of a relationship with him. 

"Girls… This is… wow!" Bill said in Swedish and looked at them while they were standing in a row by the stove. He gave the pots a gaze and saw that his oldest made the pasta dish he had taught her. It wasn't anything fancy but he knew Aurora loved pasta. 

"But… How did you get this?" Aurora laughed and held up the champagne bottle that sat on the table. 

"Eija. And Valter helped me find your number Lou, granny has cleaned up here and mom has done the grocery shopping," said his oldest with a big smile. Bill felt his heart beat a bit faster. Has everyone helped? Even his ex? 

"Everyone wants you to be together again!" Said his middle daughter. 

"Me too!" Said his youngest and then ran up to them both and gave them a hug. Bill dragged his hand over her head but looked at Aurora. Her eyes were glassy. She had never thought so many people were on their side. Even the girls' mother.

"We will watch a movie in your bedroom so you can be alone a bit…" said his oldest and took her sister's hands even if the both of them sighed. They wanted to see their dad all lovey dovey and be with Aurora who they hadn't seen for two years. She had made such an impact on them so even if their father has had another girlfriend they have had her as a favorite. 

Alone in the kitchen Bill dragged his hands over his face and laughed with love to his girls. He knew his oldest had done the most work but they were all involved. All of them wanted to just see their dad happy again. 

Aurora giggled and gave him the champagne bottle so he could open it. 

"You know I love you, right?" He said to Aurora while opening the foil on the bottle. She smiled warmly and with a beating heart looked at him opening the bottle. He got a bit nervous by her silence but when he had opened the bottle she dragged him down in a deep kiss. 

"I love you too." 

They ate and drank and talked about easy subjects. It wasn't really time yet to talk about the serious things but when it became silent between them the both of them thought about the next step. Bill wanted to ask her to be his girlfriend again but didn't know if he could handle another rejection. He still couldn't understand why she was so difficult and now also wondered why she was scared.

 Aurora thought about every insecurity she had; was she too young? Was she cheap? Did he want a baby? Could he handle her lifestyle? Was he ready for all the complications there could be being together with a pop star in her 20s? 

Bill wiped his mouth and looked at Aurora in the candle light. He could see how deeply she was thinking so he let her have some time to think. He wondered if she thought about leaving. Maybe she didn't want this after all. 

"Psst..!" 

Bill looked up and saw his oldest daughter in the doorway to the kitchen. 

"Ehh… When you're done… Can we switch rooms then? They're starting to get hungry…" 

Aurora looked at her and giggled and stood up with her wine glass in hand. Bill stood up too and saw it as a good sign she giggled. 

"Absolutely. Thank you honey, for this. You're amazing." Said Bill in Swedish and gave his daughter a forehead kiss before they switched rooms. He gave his other daughters each a kiss on their head then he and Aurora closed the bedroom door behind them and the champagne bottle. 

Bill stood and looked at her while she made herself comfortable in his bed. He held the bottle in one hand and his glass in the other. Aurora looked at him with a smile but then looked down at her legs where you now could see greenish bruises. She felt a bit self-conscious and tried to find a position where Bill couldn't see as much of her legs. He could see how her face changed from a sweet smile to sadness and he put the bottle and glass down on the night stand before sitting down at the foot of the bed. Carefully he took a hold of her wrists and with a soft but determined movement he dragged her legs out so he could see every bruise. Aurora looked at him with big eyes when he started to kiss the marks.

"I love every part of you, even when you're hurt okay? You're always perfect," He said between kisses and looked up at her with big eyes. 

"...even if I am a slut?" She asked with shiny eyes. Bill laid his cheek against her knee and waited for more information. He knew she wasn't a slut in any way so his face was neutral.

Aurora sat up and dragged her hand through his hair that was soft but a bit greasy with products. 

"I know… Those guys were right? I am cheap… I show myself in lingerie, I cheat, I call you daddy I… I am young and stupid and just want you." 

Bill took her hand in his and smiled. 

"Nothing of that makes you a slut. You can google my dick. If you're a slut I am too! But I want to be your slut?" He said with a little smile and Aurora laughed with the tears streaming down her cheeks. 

"Even if I don't want kids?" 

"I just want you." He laid down next to her but she searched for closeness at once and straddled his hips so her short dress rode up. 

"Even if my life is chaotic?" 

"I just want you." Bill said again and dragged her head down so they could kiss. They kissed a few times until Bill felt a stir in his jeans. 

"But we can be filthy right? I love being filthy with you," asked Bill.

Aurora bit her lip and kissed him again. 

"Once a daddy's girl…" she whispered and Bill slapped her ass. 

"Hey…!" She laughed. Bill smirked. 

"What? I will be dirty and possessive and sometimes feel that the thought of you as pregnant being kinky. But I love you. All of you." 

Aurora laughed and dragged her finger over Bill's lower lip. 

"I love you too but I was more thinking about your daughters? Maybe you shouldn't be dirty right now?" She teased but wiggled over his cock. Bill threw his head back and laughed. 

"Oh right. I forgot about them." He continued to laugh and so did Aurora. 

"They are so sweet, I want you but I want to have them in my life too." 

Bill smiled warmly and kissed her hands and arms. 

"For better or worse…" whispered Bill and rolled around so he laid over her instead. 

"I want you." 

××× 

Three months later… 

The pictures of them were dreamy on an early morning in a summer field with wildflowers. It was in Sweden, in the countryside. The light was bright in a way it could only be in Scandinavia where the sun never went down. As a contrast to the natural environment, they were dressed in expensive couture on every picture. Bill in well pressed suit pants and button ups in the finest silk. Aurora wore extravagant dresses and had extensions so her already long full hair was even more massive. It had even been romantic to do the photoshoot, barefoot in the summer morning and even if they didn't have the plan to make the interview into an engagement interview it was what it became when you could see Aurora's diamond ring and Bill's simple gold engagement ring on every picture. 

What can we expect from you in the future?

Bill: We hope to do more things together. Share everything. We’re both creative people. 

Aurora: Yeah, new exciting things. I even think Bill can sing if he wants to! 

Bill: No, no. We’ll let that be. *Laughs* 

Can we expect a wedding?

Aurora: No. But yes. We will have a wedding but it's just for us. 

But Bill, this is your first marriage and you're 43 years old. Why now? 

Bill: Because of Aurora. Because of our love but also, I guess I'm finally old enough. *Laughs* 

×

[pbandjesse]

I was pretty bored today. There were times I was very busy but mostly I was just. Bored to tears. I hope next week there is more to do.

I didn't sleep amazing last night but it was better. I fell asleep a lot easier. I slept most of the way through the night. But when I woke up my eyes hurt very bad. Just very very painful. So getting ready was pretty rough and I was not in a great spot emotionally because of that.

James would still wait for me to be ready so we could leave together. Even if I was unhappy about other stuff, kissing James goodbye made the morning a little better.

My drove to camp was fine. It was very cold this morning. But even though I just wanted to be in the warm office I decided that the first thing I would do is to move the gator for Joe.

I drove it the back way through the woodlands village. And despite it being very cold, it was a beautiful morning.

I wasn't sure which porch Joe wanted me to park the gator at so I chose the 4th one because it had the flattest surface. Good enough.

I walked back to the office and my legs were very cold. I had tights on under my jumpsuit but not the very thick ones so my legs were still very chilly. I was glad I was inside for the rest of the day.

I was hoping my sorting project with the files was going to take me a long time. But it was barely two hours. I struggled to keep the names in my head but I did a pretty good job pulling everything together. I did need some assistance because apparently I couldn't remember Nick names and names and was convinced we didn't have folders for half of the list. I figured it out though and made a nice alphabetical box of returning staff. Hopefully returning staff.

I didn't really know what to do after that. I have Heather the cit program I made yesterday and she gave me feedback about what I could work on expanding and I would spend another hour or so working on that. Lots of googling and research. Some direction from AI. I was pretty happy with it.

I ate my lunch late because I wanted the day to go faster. But it didn't helped. And by 130 I was so bored. I was so over the day. I tried to work on some more writing but it was just. Not happening.

I did some house research. Looking at couches and Pinterest. I did some dumb stuff. Just poking around. I ended up just sitting and watching TikToks and playing with slime??? I had silly putty in my desk and I put a bunch of mini pebbles/gravel in it and lotion and mixed it all together and popped the putty until all the rocks came out again. This was how bored I was.

I suggested we send a secondary email to last year's staff to see if anyone else wants to come back. I offered to compile the email addresses we have had no response from so we can send to their specifically. But it took a while to get me the info so it was basically time for me to go do it will be a next week project.

Before I left I had a nice little conversation with Heather about about the house and she seemed impressed by how we are handling everything and everything we are doing and it made me feel good. No new news today but I am letting myself be a little more excited every day. Still low key but still excited.

My drive home was a little tough. People driving stupid. But I got home before 430 and was happy to be here.

I would clean up a little and get in bed with lay with sweetp while we waited for James to get home. And I was super happy to see them.

We decided we would go to Mathews for dinner. I dont know if we have been to Mathews on a Friday and it was surprising to see it so busy! But we still got a table. And I loved overhearing all the very Baltimore accents and conversation.

It was fun just being with James. My allergies were acting up and my nose was really runny but I was happy. We talked about the house and the game they are seeing tomorrow. How it may storm and hopefully snow. How that might effect my plans with Celia. And the food we had, while it took a little bit to come out, was worth the wait and was fabulous. Always is.

After dinner we drove down the street to go to target. We got a few frozen things I can microwave. Got Sweetp some cat food. I got to smell the new girl scout deodorant and chose which ones I'll buy online later (because they are cheaper on the website). It wasn't to busy and I was having a nice time walking around.

When we got home I got cozy in bed to write this! My mouth is itchy from my allergies but I am okay. I think I will go and take a shower and get ready to go to sleep.

Tomorrow I hope to read and do a little deciding on getting rid of some stuff. And then hopefully I am going skating with Celia. I really hope it works out. Though I am also hoping for good snow.

I hope you all have a good night and have fun tomorrow. Sleep well everyone. Goodnight!!

[yourfavpasifikacreator]

Shuri x black!fem!reader

Music to listen to while reading 👇🏿

Summary: reader has a bad illness that makes her body weak a reader shuri can find a cure for readers illness.

⚠️ Warning ⚠️: angst illness a death no happy ending really short.

You tried your best to get up off the bed a stand up with your wife's help she held your hand with a strong grip from the heart shaped herb your legs give way a make you fall harshly on the floor making you ache even more,

A harsh "ouch" came out of your mouth trying to stay strong cause the pain you felt was unbelievable shuri helped you out a put you on the bed she said "are you okay sithandwa sam?" She said worried

You sat up tired you looked horrible your body is aching she looks at you with sadness in her eyes she can't believe she can't find a cure for your illness so you took her hand in yours a said "I'm fine my love don't worry.."

You said to calm her down she said "i know its just I don't want you to leave my side ever." She said her voice cracking tears piercing her eyes you wiped her hot  tears running down her face you said

"Theres no where you could go that I wouldn't be with you love.." you said softly caressing her face gently you smiled at her warmly she smiled at the warm embrace "come sit infront of me bae" she got into the bed a sat infront of you and you hugged her from the back

Your hands running everywhere her  Melanated skin colliding with your you kissed her on her face gently you knew that when you past it'll hurt her so much you can't stand to break her a make her lose more you love her for infinity a she loves you the same

-1 month later-

You've become weaker your arms a legs don't work like last month shuri your wife has noticed a has been stuck in the lab trying to figure out a cure for you she spent hours until you requested for her to come to urgently you were coughing up blood into a bucket as you were to weak to get up she got the she looked at with fear in her eyes

"shuri my love.." you spoke so softly it was hard to hear you but she heard "yes sithandwa sam I'm so sorry I couldn't find anything.." you held her hand softly a said  "don't stress my love as long as your here with me love we'll be alright" she looked at your hand seeing it shake a lil bit a then she look up at you with amazement admiring how strong you are you still smiled through the pain she smiled back at you

-A few days later-

You a shuri have been glued together for the last few days because she knows that you don't have much time left a you do as well but this night is different this night you didn't wake up a your breathing stopped she woke up a tried to wake you but you didn't wake up you had passed  she realized her heart broke a tears ran down her face she got up immediately to call for help to a your body was cold that confirmed your death.

-Few weeks later-

She didn't do a big funeral for you because she knew that you wouldn't want a big funeral so she only had one with you family a friends a nakia a Toussaint was there you met Toussaint you love him he's so cute kind a friendly shuri broke down at you funeral she cried so much she lost yet another person.

Thanks for reading i love you guys who read my post!

[cherokeegal1975]

Unexpected Cargo, Ch. 1 Part 2 by Meriah Smith (author's note below as well)

Johnny's heart sank. A royal visit in the middle of nowhere couldn't be good news. Out h ere, the king could get away with murder and worse without polite society knowing any wiser.

Laughing and gaming with cards or dice, they would sometimes try to torment him by offering him food or water then denying it. After the second time, Johnny just ignored them, laid down and tried to rest as the night cooled uncomfortably.

He didn't know how long he lay there, shivering as the temperature continued to drop as the sun set. His only company was a single bored guard that glanced frequently at the others gaming with longing.

Sometime later, he heard his guard say with a nasty chuckle, "Have a drink!"

Johnny opened his eyes then rolled out of the way barely in time to avoid being urinated on. The guards all laughed at him and cheered his antagonist as he put his private parts back into his loos-fitting grey pants. They laughed again when Johnny doubled over in pain as he lay on his side, biting back a cry as his lower belly cramped up. They mysterious attacks never lasted long, but they left him sweating and sick to his stomach. So far, he managed to avoid vomiting and was grateful to be spared that indignity at least.

He didn't know how he was going to escape in his current condition, but he was determined to try as soon as the opportunity presented itself. He attempted to make himself comfortable on the sand again, trying not to shiver, willing his stomach to settle and struggling to ignore the increasing ache in his limbs from being tied up for so long.

Then to everyone's surprise, came a sweet singing voice with unintelligible words drifted in from the dark. It was haunting, achingly beautiful and filled with such longing that tears formed in Johnny's eyes. "Oh please, Goddess no!" he thought desperately. "Fly away Little Girl!"

Even a few of the royal guards started to sniffle quietly; it would take a heart of stone to not be moved by her song. Their leader barked an order at some of his underlings to go and find the singer and bring her back to him.

A soft almost inaudible scuffling came up from behind him, followed by a tugging sensation at his wrists. He smiled in the dark and didn't know whether to praise or reprimand Little Girl and Goldie for coming up with this plan. Fear ripped through him at the idea of them being killed before he got the chance.

Goldie continued to gnaw as fast as she could though the tough ropes at his wrists from inside of his left sleeve, so the guards wouldn't spot her. It was a good thing that Johnny's sleeves were so loose fitting, because Goldie was the size of a small domestic cat. In about thirty seconds her sharp front teeth made short work of the rough hemp rope an then she scrambled silently to chew through the rope binding his feet while hiding inside his loose pants leg.

Author's note: Sorry, I have to stop here. It would be so much easier if Tumblr would stop giving me error messages every time I copy and paste sections of my manuscript. I'm out of time anyway. I think I got over enthusiastic about this idea in any case. So, I'll try out sending links again and seeing if I can have better results than last time I tried that.

This book is one year's worth of work and it took me four years to complete it because I had to drop the project for a while, but I came back to it early because I had a really bad toothache and needed a distraction from my pain. Didn't stop me from hurting, but it helped me to deal with it while I waited for days until my dentist appointment finally happened. I was in agony around chapter 14 and 15 and quite likely a ways after that. Writing helped, but anyone who's ever had a bad toothache will know what I'm talking about. Having to wait days to get if fixed was awful.

So, next time, just links. That will save me some time and effort. DeviantART is safe enough. Been there for years with no issues.

To get you started, here's the link to Chapter 1:

Unexpected Cargo Ch. 1 by CherokeeGal1975 on DeviantArt

And yes, that's my illustration. Not the best, but hey, not terrible either. I wasn't going for hyper realistic anyway.

Could anyone else see this as a beginning of an anime mini series?

Links to the next chapter are in the description of the post, as well as a link to where it can be purchased on Amazon.

[elenyafinwe]

32 + MinaTobi for the angsty prompts? >:3

As if I haven't destroyed poor Minato enough yet xP Here you go!

“I already knew I wasn’t good enough.”

cn grief (Kushina's dead, remember?)

Tobirama needed a moment to realise why he had woken up in the middle of the night. He blinked in the darkness until he re-oriented himself. He turned his head to the side.

The bed beside him was empty, the blanket tousled. He could still feel a residual warmth, so Minato had not been up for too long.

He shook off the sleep and got up to go in search of Minato. He soon found him in Naruto's nursery.

Quietly Tobirama opened the door and entered the dark room. Only a small nightlight burned in one corner; Naruto didn't like sleeping completely in the dark unless he slept in bed with them. The baby slept as soundly as only newborns could. Minato sat on the floor in front of his cradle, scrunching his hat with his legs drawn up to his chest. Tobirama could not see his face clearly, but he was sure he saw tears glistening in the darkness.

He immediately knelt at Minato's side, pulled him into his arms and stroked his head. Willingly Minato let all this happen to him and snuggled a little tighter against Tobirama.

"What happened?" asked Tobirama softly.

Minato suppressed a sob and sniffled. "I ..." he hiccupped, "I didn't mean to wake you."

"You didn't, everything is fine," Tobirama assured him.

Minato pressed his face into Tobirama's yukata. A shudder ran through his body.

"Do you want to talk?" offered Tobirama to him. "Or do you just want me to be there? Would you rather be alone?"

Minato shrugged his shoulders. Then he shook his head. "I don't know. It's just all too much. This ..." He gestured vaguely. "All of it."

"There's nothing wrong with you being overwhelmed," Tobirama assured him. "The situation Konoha finds itself in demands an inhuman amount from you."

"Yes, it is bad, and nothing will get better from crying!"

He sobbed out. Tobirama gave him the time he needed.

"I had a nightmare," Minato continued when he had calmed down a little. "Again. About how Kushina died, and how she cursed me with her last breath for sealing that monster inside our son. How Naruto grows up hating me for the burden I put on him. How the whole village points at me and they all blame me for all the destruction and suffering. And they are right! It was my duty to protect them and I didn't. It's not like I could even protect my own family."

Tobirama felt Minato's tears soaking the fabric of his yukata, but he didn't mind. Reassuringly, he stroked Minato's back and held him tightly to let him know that he would not leave him alone if he did not wish to.

"And now I'm sitting here crying because I'm so paralysed with fear that I just can't do anything else," Minato croaked. "I already knew that I wasn't good enough. Just one year of Hokage and then this happens! If I can't even protect my family, how can I protect an entire village?"

"But you did protect them," Tobirama said softly. "I couldn't have stopped Kyūbi permanently, no one could have. But you did it anyway."

"And yet Kushina is dead now!" Minato howled, clawing his hands into Tobirama's clothes. "I miss her so terribly, it hurts so much. I watch her die, over and over again, her blood on my hands, and I can't stop it."

"I know," Tobirama said softly. "I know. It's unfair. It's cruel. Kushina didn't deserve to die like this. You don't deserve to suffer like this. You deserve to grow old and happy together as a family. You deserved to see Naruto grow up and accompany him on his life's journey, free of worries.

But it was not meant to be, as much as I wish it for you. All I can do now is hold you and be there for you when you need me. If you want me, that is."

For a moment they were silent, neither saying anything. Minato's sobs gradually subsided.

"I don't think I'm any good as a Hokage."

Minato said it so softly that Tobirama almost thought he had misheard.

He kissed Minato on his hair. "You are doing an excellent job. Take it from the person who helped invent this office. It's the situation that's asking too much of you. But you are not alone in this. I'm still here to help you whenever you want my help. I think I have a little bit of experience with that."

That actually managed to elicit a tiny laugh from Minato. "When you put it that way, it's kind of true."

Tobirama put a hand on his cheek and wiped away a few last tears with his thumb. "How are you now?"

Minato smiled faintly, Tobirama could just make it out in the darkness. "Thank you. Thank you for everything. For being there. For ... just being you. I don't know what I would do without you."

Tobirama returned the smile. "Sleep less, probably. Let's go back to bed."

This time the smile was more pronounced. Minato snuggled up to Tobirama.

For the angsty prompts. Feel free to send me more!

German original under the cut.

Tobirama brauchte einen Moment, um zu realisieren, warum er mitten in der Nacht aufgewacht war. Er blinzelte in der Dunkelheit, bis er sich wieder orientiert hatte. Er wandte den Kopf zur Seite.

Das Bett neben ihm war leer, die Decke zerwühlt. Noch konnte er einen Rest Wärme spüren, Minato war also nicht vor allzu langer Zeit aufgestanden.

Er schüttelte den Schlaf ab und stand auf, um sich auf die Suche nach Minato zu machen. Er fand ihn alsbald in Narutos Kinderzimmer.

Leise öffnete Tobirama die Tür und betrat das dunkle Zimmer. Lediglich ein kleines Nachtlicht brannte in einer Ecke; Naruto mochte es nicht, völlig im Dunkeln zu schlafen, wenn er nicht bei ihnen im Bett schlief. Das Baby schlief so tief und fest, wie es nur Neugeborene konnten. Dafür saß Minato vor seiner Wiege am Boden und knautschte mit an die Brust gezogenen Beinen seinen Hut. Tobirama konnte sein Gesicht nicht deutlich erkennen, er war sich aber sicher, Tränen in der Dunkelheit glitzern zu sehen.

Sofort kniete er an Minatos Seite, zog ihn in seine Arme und strich ihm über den Kopf. Bereitwillig ließ Minato all das mit sich geschehen und kuschelte sich noch etwas fester an Tobirama.

»Was ist passiert?«, fragte Tobirama leise.

Minato unterdrückte ein Schluchzen und schniefte. »Ich ...«, er hickste, »ich wollte dich nicht wecken.«

»Das hast du nicht, alles ist gut«, versicherte Tobirama ihm.

Minato drückte sein Gesicht in Tobiramas yukata. Ein Schaudern lief durch seinen Körper.

»Willst du reden?«, bot Tobirama ihm an. »Oder soll ich einfach nur da sein? Willst du lieber allein sein?«

Minato zuckte mit den Schultern. Dann schüttelte er den Kopf. »Ich weiß nicht. Es ist einfach alles zu viel. Das ...« Er gestikulierte wage. »Alles halt.«

»Es ist nicht schlimm, wenn du überfordert bist«, versicherte Tobirama ihn. »Die Lage, in der sich Konoha befindet, fordert dir unmenschlich viel ab.«

»Doch, es ist schlimm, und vom Heulen wird auch nichts besser!«

Er schluchzte auf. Tobirama gab ihm die Zeit, die er brauchte.

»Ich hatte einen Alptraum«, fuhr Minato fort, als er sich wieder etwas beruhigt hatte. »Schon wieder. Davon, wie Kushina gestorben ist, und wie sie mich mit ihrem letzten Atemzug verflucht, dass ich dieses Monster in unseren Sohn versiegelt habe. Wie Naruto aufwächst und mich für die Bürde hasst, die ich ihm auferlegt habe. Wie das ganze Dorf auf mich zeigt und sie alle mich für all die Zerstörung und das Leid verantwortlich machen. Und sie haben ja Recht! Es war meine Pflicht sie zu beschützen und ich habe es nicht getan. Ich konnte ja nicht einmal meine eigene Familie beschützen.«

Tobirama spürte, wie Minatos Tränen den Stoff seines yukata durchweichten, aber er störte sich nicht daran. Beruhigend strich er über Minatos Rücken und hielt ihn fest, um ihn wissen zu lassen, dass er ihn nicht allein lassen würde, wenn er es nicht wünschte.

»Und jetzt sitze ich hier und heule rum, weil ich so gelähmt vor Angst bin, dass ich einfach nichts anderes tun kann«, krächzte Minato. »Ich wusste von Anfang an, dass ich nicht genug sein würde. Gerade einmal ein Jahr Hokage und dann passiert das! Wenn ich nicht einmal meine Familie beschützen kann, wie soll ich dann ein ganzes Dorf beschützen?«

»Aber du hast sie beschützt«, sagte Tobirama sanft. »Ich hätte Kyūbi nicht dauerhaft aufhalten können, niemand hätte das gekonnt. Aber du hast es dennoch getan.«

»Und doch ist Kushina jetzt tot!« Minato heulte auf und krallte seine Hände in Tobiramas Kleidung. »Ich vermisse sie so schrecklich, es tut so weh. Ich sehe sie sterben, immer und immer wieder, ihr Blut an meinen Händen, und ich kann es nicht verhindern.«

»Ich weiß«, sagte Tobirama sanft. »Ich weiß. Es ist unfair. Es ist grausam. Kushina hat es nicht verdient, so zu sterben. Du hast es nicht verdient, so zu leiden. Ihr habt es verdient, gemeinsam als Familie alt und glücklich zu werden. Ihr habt es verdient, Naruto aufwachsen zu sehen und ihn auf seinem Lebensweg zu begleiten, frei von Sorgen.

Aber es hatte nicht sein sollen, so sehr ich es mir für euch auch wünsche. Alles, was ich jetzt tun kann, ist dich zu halten und für dich da zu sein, wenn du mich brauchst. Wenn du mich denn willst.«

Einen Moment lang schwiegen sie, keiner sagte etwas. Minatos Schluchzen ebbte allmählich ab.

»Ich glaube nicht, dass ich als Hokage etwas tauge.«

Minato sagte es so leise, dass Tobirama beinahe meinte, sich verhört zu haben.

Er küsste Minato auf sein Haar. »Du machst das hervorragend. Lass dir das von der Person gesagt sein, die dieses Amt mit erfunden hat. Es ist die Situation, die dir zu viel abverlangt. Aber du bist damit nicht allein. Ich bin doch auch noch da und helfe dir, wann immer du meine Hilfe willst. Ich glaube, ich habe ein klein wenig Erfahrung damit.«

Das schaffte es doch tatsächlich, Minato ein klitzekleines Lachen zu entlocken. »Wenn du es so sagst, stimmt das schon irgendwie.«

Tobirama legte ihm eine Hand auf die Wange und wischte mit dem Daumen ein paar letzte Tränen weg. »Wie geht es dir jetzt?«

Minato lächelte schwach, Tobirama konnte es in der Dunkelheit gerade noch erkennen. »Danke. Danke für alles. Dass du da bist. Dass du ... einfach du bist. Ich wüsste nicht, was ich ohne dich tun würde.«

Tobirama erwiderte das Lächeln. »Weniger schlafen vermutlich. Lass uns zurück ins Bett gehen.«

Dieses Mal war das Lächeln schon deutlicher. Minato kuschelte sich an Tobirama.

[shop-korea]

Watch Talking In Your Sleep on YouTube Music

DEAR - KOREAN - GIRLS,

WOULD - LIKE - 2 - SHARE

THIS - STORY - BECAUSE I

LOVED - MGM - DONALD O'

CONNER - BRILLIANT - YES

COMEDIAN - ACTOR DANCER

SO - WENT - WITH - MY MAID

2 - THE - SAHARA - DESERTS

PERFECT - 4 - PHILIPPINES

VOLCANIC - MOISTURE NO

FLOWERS - 4 - CENTURIES

185 DEGREES - LIKE - TEXAS

HITTING - PAINFULLY - HEADS

LIKE - SHOWERS - FACE - WET

BACK - ARMS - LEGS - WHEN I

SAW - KAI - WEARING - PANTS

FACE - COVERED - BECAUSE HE

DIDN'T - WANT - ANY - DISEASE

FR - PHILIPPINE - ISLANDS - YES

THOUGH - 90% - OUR CHEMISTRY

ALL - I - FELT - ENDED - 4 - HIM - 2

THEN - HE - WAS - WITH - JENNY

BLK - PINK - THEY - EARNED EA

OTHER - AS I - AM - 90% - WITH

ANOTHER - ROOSTER - PARKY

BO GUM - ASSOCIATED - WITH

JOEL AND VICTORIA OSTEEN

BUT - PARKY - THEY - ARE YES

LACKING - LOTS - OF - BIBLE

VERSES - DR JERRY SAVELLE

IS - MORE - POWERFUL DEAR

PARKY - SO - KAI - AND AESPA

GISELLE - 'COME - WINTER'

REVISING - HIS - JAPANESE

'WHEN - SPRING - COMES'

ACTUALLY - FORGOT

SAW - HIS - DANCING - AT

ELLEN DEGENERES - FELT

LIKE - HIS - DAD - AND HOW

HIS - DANCING - MAKES HIM

WEEP - WHY - HE WAS BORN

EXO - 'GROWL' - WHO - KAI IS

SO - DECIDED - 2 - MAKE THIS

FILM - 4 - WITH - MY - NEW

FACE - MARRYING - A - YES

CHINESE - MALE - ACTOR

WITH - EXTREME - LONG

HAIR - HE - CAN - SING DANCE

A - ROCKER - LOTS - OF DUETS

AS - WE - PERFORM IN BEIJING

BRINGING - BACK - THE - BEST

OF - ANCIENT - CHINA

I - WANT - 2 - MEET - KAI EXO

AND - BAEKHYUN - WITH ME

ALREADY - MARRIED

INTRODUCING - 2 - KOREA

THE - CHINESE - RED PASSPORT

OF - LOVE - HOW - 2 - PEOPLE

LOOK - LIKE - WITH - COLOR

PHOTO - DO - THEY - LOOK

GOOD - KAI - AND - GISELLE

LIKE - ME - 90% - LOVE BIRDS

HE - JUST - HURT - ME - HOW

HE - ARRIVED - IN - MY - YES

COUNTRY - OF - BIRTH

DEAR - KOREAN - GIRLS,

HERE's - MY - STORY - LAST

CENTURY - ARABS - OF FUEL

THEY - WEAR - BEDSHEETS 2

LOOKS - LIKE - WHAT - THEY

ARE - IS - 100% - COTTON

4 - THEIR - SAND STORMS

ARE - DEADLY - NO - ONE

SURVIVES - WHEN THE

SAND - HITS - PEOPLE ONLY

SURVIVORS - ARE - THE YES

SKELETONS - OF - CAMELS

SO - I - BROUGHT - LIKE YES

PRINCESS - TAMINA - OF -

'PRINCE - OF - PERSIA: tHE

SANDS - OF - TIME' - WE YES

ME - AND - MY - PHILIPPINE

MAID - BROUGHT - A - TENT

100% - COTTON - 4 OUR YES

CAMEL - AND - 2 - OF - US - 2

WELL - GUESS - WHAT - ONE

OF - THE - WORST - SAND -

STORMS - ARRIVED - SO ME

MY - MAID - OUR - FOOD AND

DRINK - AND - CAMEL - WENT

UNDER - OUR - 100% COTTON

TENT - AND - IT - WAS - BAD 2

BROUGHT - MY - STRADIVARIUS

LADY ROSE - HARP - AND - SML

GUITAR - AS - WE - SAND - YES

RICO J PUNO - SONGS - AS WE

ATE - DRANK - ALSO BROUGHT

CAMEL - FOOD - GUESS WHAT

2 MALE - PINOYS - KIDS ALSO

THEY - KNEW - NOTHING - YES

ABOUT - SANDSTORMS - THAT

NO - HUMANS - SURVIVE THAT

THEY - JUST - KNEW - THEY

GOT - LOST - THEY - SANG &

HOPED - THEY - CAN - FIND

A - PHILIPPINE - GROUP YES

SOMEWHERE - AS - THEY AS

KIDS - CONTINUED - AND THEY

HEARD - OUR - DUET - OF - YES

RICO J PUNO - SONGS - AND

THEY - RAN - 2 - OUR - TENT

COULDN'T - B A - MIRAGE - 2

SAID - 'TULOY - PO' - 'CAN WE

COME - IN' - OF COURSE - YES

AS - THE - 4 - OF - US - ALL HAI

SANG - RICO J PUNO - THEN

THEY - WEREN'T - ALONE - 2

THEIR - GRANDMA - CRYING

WONDERING - WHERE THEY

ARE - PLEASE - GOD - HELP

ME - THEN - SHE - HEARD

THE - 2 - BOYS - AND - ME

AND - MY - MAID - SINGING

SANG - RICO J - AND - RAN

2 - FIND - US - AS - SHE YES

WEPT - AS - SHE - SAID -

'TULOY - PO' - MY BOYS -

CRYING - HUGGED THEM

THANKS - HO - AS - WE ALL

JOINED - IN - JOYOUS - YES

CHORUS - RICO J PUNO

SO - I - GAVE - MY - MAID's

WORLD - FAMOUS - PORK

ADOBO - AND - CHINESE YES

FRIED - RICE - AND - DRINKS

WELL - FED - AND - OUR YES

PORTABLE - TOILETS - AS WE

SANG - THROUGH - THE NIGHT

AND - FELL - ASLEEP - WHEN

WE - WOKE - UP - WAS CLEAR

OUR - CAMEL - BROUGHT - US

ALL BACK - WE TRANSFERRED

ALL - 2 - RITZ - CARLTON - ME

PAID - INCLUDING - TRANSFER

OF - PLANE - HAD - GREAT YES

TIME - COMING - BACK - LOTS

OF - TEARS - HEARTFELT - FOR

MANY - DIED - EVEN - SEPT - 11

BOMBINGS - NEVER - TRULY

PRODUCED - LOTS - OF TEARS

SAHARA DESERTS

LIKE - A - SMALL COUNTRY

WHEN - MANY - DIED - LOTS

OF - TEARS - EVERYWHERE

AS - WE - STAYED - AT - OUR

SUITE - ALL - OF - US - TRUE

BOUGHT - AT - GROCERY AND

MADE - OUR - FOODS - AS WE

ATE - INDOORS - OURS - HAD

A - FOUNTAIN - INSIDE - SO WE

ARE - NOT - AFFECTED - BY THE

TEARS - EVERYWHERE - AS WE

ENJOYED - THE - MOON - AS - I

PLAYED - THE - PIANO - THEY

STILL - DIDN'T - KNOW - THAT

NO - HUMAN - SURVIVED THEIR

SANDSTORMS - BUT - 2 - PINOY

KIDS - AND - GRANDMA - DIDN'T

KNOW - THAT - AS - THEY SANG

AND - WISHED - 4 - ANY PINAYS

AND - GOT - THEIR - WISH

DEAR - KOREAN - GIRLS,

HARD - 2 - FIND - THAT - IN

KOREA - WHO - U - CAN YES

CALL - HOME - SO - WE ARE

INVITING - U 2 - OUR - WORLD

HOW - U - KNOW - WHAT HOME

IS - SO - THIS - IS - MY - STORY 2

WANTED - 2 - SHARE - THAT

THOUGH - MIAMI - POLICE

CALLED - ME - MENTALLY ILL

BECAUSE - I'M - HOMELESS

WHERE - THEY - WERE BORN

GARBAGE - WHERE - I - WAS

BORN - THE - MAGIC - OF THE

MOONLIGHT - THE - FREE DAY

CARE - SHOWED - 2 - BLK SML

BOYS - ONE - LOOKED - AT ME

LIKE - I - SHOULD - APOLOGISE

4 - LIVING - AS - WE - WILL YES

'NEVER - MARRY - BLK'

'NEVER - MARRY - SPANISH'

JESUS - IS - LORD - AS - THOSE

WEIRDOS - START - YOUNG - AS

SATANIC - FOUL - IRON - COOK

WARE - HOW - WE - DON'T LOOK

LIKE - WHAT - U - NEED - 2 - YES

GRILL - CHICKEN - STEAK

BLK - AND - UGLY

JESUS - IS - WHITE

GOD - IS - WHITE

JESUS - IS - LORD

SHARED - MY - STORY

[v-m-k-m]

Picture this: I am laying naked and alone on the queen size mattress that was a bed for me and was given to me for free and with stains. I didn't really think about it, I thought 'Oh well, I’ll just cover it with an extra sheet'. I just put it on the wooden floor, thinking it would have been nice to sleep more in contact with the ground. I changed its position in the room a couple times during those three months.

I remember being caught with terror when the chef from work had told me how a bedroom is supposed to be furnished, some kind of feng shui I guess, and she told me how if the bed is reflected into a mirror, it will attract a third person in your current relationship. I was so scared. She also said it was very dangerous to sleep with your feet towards a door, and to listen to the room because it could be haunted. She told me all this one night we had afterwork drinks on a Saturday, we were sitting in the back room of a pub hotel on Enmore road. I was drinking just a beer, because anything else would have been too expensive, and listening to these stories. Everyone was agreeing with her and absolutely believing all this. They tried to cheer me up when they saw how paranoid I was and how wide open from horror my eyes were. It was already such a bad time in my life. Last thing I needed was to cheat/be cheated on or to have ghosts in the only safe place I knew and which I was paying with my hard work. My eyes spilled tears and I felt so much anxiety and fear and exhaustion - my thoughts weren't rational anymore. My collegues tried to cheer me up. I was very scared to go home and later I would have begged my partner to sleep over, so I could feel safe.

I am trying to recall what happened during those months as everything is blurred into 14 hours shifts at work and take away Thai food - often pad see ew, which is my favourite. I do remember standing on the bus at night, my feel swollen, my legs absolutely exhausted, my eyes closing from tiredness. I started putting on big headphones and hearing to some Italian trap, while watching outside the lights of cars and bars and phone screens of people walking their way through the weekend. Feeling numb, dirty, tired as - still choosing to save money, getting off the bus and walking half of the way back home. With hindsight, I can also understand why I was able to appreciate my 12 years-older-than-me co-worker flirtatious and flattering ways. I needed validation, I needed people who were able to accept and like something about me. I understood though, he didn’t really know who I was, so he simply could not like me for who I really was, and I shut him down before he even could. After all, I already had someone next to me, who would sneak into my room through the window every night and with whom I would make love, plans, and mistakes. And we would sleep together.

I have been very naive for a long time. Then, I got hurt very badly and couldn't cope with the pain from those traumas, so I made myself numb through exhaustion, trusting my partner to do me good only. Took a while to get the message through. I often had mental breakdowns, I was sleeping and living with anxiety, I had severe depressive episodes where I would only lay there in my room all day, not even changing my underwear, not even getting water - just waiting for the day to end. I would sometimes get the train and wait my partner outside work, so we could have dinner somewhere or walk all the way back together and talk about the day and our feelings and thoughts, before heading back to my room/home and get naked for cuddles.

[the-letter-horror-lover]

7Chapter 14

"He slowly walks in Snow White's direction with cautious steps to not notice him..."

Namida repeats to narrate but the jerk still has not appeared. I started to feel humiliated in front of everyone. I look at Cho-Cho and she still has a saddened face. I look at the crowd and they look so disappointed in me.

I saw Tsubaki runs backstage and some of the cast follow too. I look so awful in front of them I guess. Indistinct chatter starts to echo in my ears.

"What's going on? Why does not the prince show up?"

"I wonder about it too."

"This is the worst play I have ever seen."

"Look at Snow White, she looks pale."

"What are they doing? They want her to stand there forever?"

I can't take all of their comments. My chest wants to burst out. I look in Cho-Cho's direction and our adviser has joined her there already. She too has a wretched face. I know our teacher has been under a lot of stress lately.

I look at the crowd once again and their eyes are on me full of criticism. Their stares feel so heavy that it makes me want to cry. Grains of tears are in the corners of my eyes. I can't hold them back anymore and they finally come rushing out to my cheeks. I run away from their scathing eyes. I rush off the stage without looking back. I could still hear them shout my name and the crowd starts to fuzz again.

I run away from them as fast as I could still crying, I don't even know where to go. I just let my feet bring me to nowhere and I end up running off to the rooftop. I open the door and a strong gust of wind welcomes me that makes my hair and gown flew into the air.

I run outside and I stop in the middle. I was down on my knees crying and I couldn't help myself from screaming. I am so disgusted I think this is the worst day of my life. I cover my face with both my palms and start to sob again. My chest hurts so bad.

"Why all of these misfortunes were given to me? What did I do wrong to deserve all of these?" I shout still sobbing.

"Why would Boruto help someone to get those stickers glued up the wall and end up hurting his leg?"

"Why does someone has to be a jerk and act so stubborn and ignorant?"

"Why is he like that?"

"Why is it so easy for him to hurt other people's feelings?"

"I hate him so much. I hate him!"

"Of all people, why me?"

I am helpless that I need to question myself for all the unfortunate things that happened to my life. I am pathetic for expecting too much and become disappointed so much in the end. All I want is to be closer to my dreams but, why life is so cruel to me?

"All that I have worked hard for are over now in just a blink of an eye..."

Kawaki's POV

I just finished putting on my shoes and I grab my bag which lays on the shiny floor. Today is our preliminary examination. Well, another usual day for me. I stare at the door because I am about to leave the house.

"I'm off, mom. See you later."

"Take care, Kawaki. Good luck on your exams," she waves goodbye at me.

One old memory of me and mom suddenly appears in front of me but now... She's gone and I'm all alone.

I locked the door before leaving for school. I saw some students passing by our house already with their friends talking to each other. A few are reviewing their notes for the exam and some are just chatting with one another.

Bell rings and everyone sits on their desks. Our adviser enters the room with a pile of papers in her hands. She slams them on the table and switches her eyeballs from left to right of the room. She moves in front of the table to say something before the exam starts.

"I guess everyone is here now. Let's start the first half of your exams," she says then grabs the pile of test papers from the table and starts disseminating them to everyone.

I look around and I saw some of them are nervous about the test. Some are not even bothered and here I am who do not care at all. I didn't bother to review last night instead I went to sleep early.

"When I say 'go' you can start answering your test, okay?" she instructs, and after everyone receives their test papers, she says the magic word and I start to read what's on the paper.

A headache.

The bell rings and everyone rejoices. It's the sign of the first half is done and it's time to relax a bit and fill our empty stomachs. I pass my test papers with bare answers written on them.

Instead of going to the canteen for lunch, I go to the rooftop and settled on top of the water tank. It's my favorite spot because it's peaceful and away from all annoying people.

I put my arms behind my head and rest on them while watching the clouds floating in the air and stare at the clear blue sky. I waste my time staying in that position until the bell rings again.

"The bell is more annoying than the chatters of nonsense people," I utter in annoyance.

The second half started and everyone gets back to their old positions. I glanced at the annoying Iwabe who rubs his head while he struggles to answer the test.

Why struggle that much if you can just leave it blank forever?

"Ten minutes left."

The adviser reminds us and I stand up thereafter. Coincidentally, the dork and the blonde idiot stood up at the same with me.

And our adviser utters, "oh" when we three stood up simultaneously. I walk past by the dork with my bag rests on my shoulder and I pass my test paper and immediately leaves the room. I don't know what happened next because I walk straight off and did not look back.

Today is Saturday and I woke up early to cook my breakfast. I head off straight to the refrigerator to get some water to drink and when I am about to open it there is a note pinned on it.

"So, he did come home last night, huh? Tch, what a stupid old man," I ignore the note and opens the refrigerator and get some water and eggs. I decided to make an omelet.

I settled on the table while eating all alone. I peek at the pinned note again and think.

Should I go or not? I debate in my head.

Well, I don't care about what he thinks or what he does. He is annoying and he sucks.

I lose my appetite already and stand up from the dining. I put the plate on the sink and head back immediately to my room.

I lay on the bed and stare at the ceiling then a memory of mom appears.

"Dad loves us so much that he has to work hard for us to survive. I hope you understand, Kawaki."

"He worked hard for us to survive? But why did you die, mom?" I ask in my mind.

He works for his own selfish desires to achieve his dreams even though neglecting his own family. Those stupid dreams are more important than his own family.

"I am doing this for your own sake. Why can't you understand?"

I hear him say in my mind.

"For my sake? Or for your own self-interest?" I retaliate then a red blush appears on my cheek, he slapped me.

I recall the old times when he and I used to argue. So, it's better that I should not bump on into him. I look at the clock and it's forty-seven past seven in the morning.

I am in between the thought of staying in the house or go see him at the mall. My fingers fiddle until I finally decide.

I go to the bathroom to get a shower and I get casually dressed after. I don't know but I am urged to go to the mall and see the movie.

An hour later...

The mall is crowded. I didn't know that the premiere would be this big. The theater queue is unbelievable.

"I am not going to add to the long file of idiots," I murmur.

I shove my hand into my pants pocket and grab a piece of paper. It's my ticket for the movie. With this number of people watching, I don't want to go anymore.

"The tickets are almost sold out."

"Hey, please left some for us!"

"I will pay for that one!"

I watch people go crazy over a movie. What's with the movie though?

"Here! I sell this one here!" I say and all eyes look at me.

"Really?!" they ask all at once while eyes are enlarged.

"Yes and I am selling this to that girl," I say and point at the young girl.

"To me? Are you sure?" she asks almost crying. I nod and she smiles widely. She runs to me and I hand over the ticket to her.

"Are you sure about selling this ticket to me? Don't you like Mr. Martin's movie?" she says while her eyes glitter.

"I am not selling that. It's yours. I don't feel like watching the movie today," I say and she smiles.

"Thank you so much, mister," she says and waves goodbye at me.

I don't want to see that stupid old man.

"Tickets! Tickets! Last two!"

I glimpse at the man shouting and I saw the dork and her fatso friend running in his direction.

"Tch," even them are crazy over that movie. So weird. I turn my back and head out of the mall. I don't know where to go so, I shall follow my feet to where they want to go.

I end up coming to the park. This is the place where mom and I used to hang out. I miss her so much. I wonder if she's doing alright in heaven or does she even think of me?

"I'm sorry mom, I failed to save you..."

"Results are out!"

Someone shouts and everyone races to the bulletin board and I was left standing here and watch them crowd together in front of it. They started to make a noise.

I have seen the results already so, I think there's no need to hear them chatter. I walk away.

"Kawaki, I don't know what's the matter. You failed most of the tests and in fact, you only passed two subjects," she tells me but I am watching outside the window not focusing much at all.

"Now, I have decided to assign someone to help you out with your failing grades," she adds.

What? Seriously? I don't need that. I don't like the idea. And the class starts to buzz again like bees in my ears.

"I'm sorry, Yodo but I have already picked someone to do the job," she tells the long blonde idiot, and the latter frowns.

"And who's that?" she smirks at her.

"Of course, the top student of this class," she responds.

Just what the hell does she talking about?

"I actually picked Sarada to help him out," she continues and I almost stood up from my seat.

With the dork? No way. She is annoying as ever. I look at her and she seems to look shocked she points to herself and utters, "me?" in disbelief.

I know her face questions her and our adviser explains to her why and it's not justified enough to make her do that or do this to me.

"I'm fine. I don't need help from a dork," I say with a boring look. She frowns at me and she scolds me for calling her like that.

"Otherwise you want to get to a new school," is she trying to threaten me? Well, if I keep getting failed grades maybe I will be dropped out and I don't want my father to show his angry face and berate me again.

They are annoying.

"Any objections from you two?" she asks.

"No," we answer at the same time.

She tells us more about the details and reminds us not to fight when the tutorial comes.

"We have a new activity as part of your next lesson in literature and you will be going to perform it next week," she announces. I know for sure that is boring.

"You will be doing a play which entitles Snow White and Seven Dwarfs," she continues.

As I said, it sounds boring. I think everyone agrees with me, they sound bored too but not with the dork she looks interested anyway. They start to make noise the usual scenario of this classroom.

"We will have an audition for the lead roles which are Snow White and the Prince—" I stop from listening and flips the pages of the book. I'm damn bored. When will this discussion end?

After her long talk with everyone, our adviser leaves the room immediately and I stand up from my seat right after to leave the noisy room too.

"Hey, Kawaki! Are you going to audition for the role of the Prince," who is this guy again? The guy with glasses. I stare at him for seconds and turn my face away.

"Not interested," I respond and completely walk past him. They keep chattering and I walk my way to the canteen.

I am walking my way in the direction of the rooftop. I bought something to eat from the canteen first just some sandwiches and soda.

I settle on my favorite spot as usual and open the bag where my food is in and get the first bite.

"Meow..."

"Huh?!" I look at my side where the sound of a cat's meow comes from. There is a small white cat beside me looking at my sandwiches.

"Are you hungry?" do I look stupid for talking to a cat?

"Meow...Meow...Meow..."

I picked some from my sandwich and drop near it. The cat moves closer and sniffs onto it first then gets a bite. I pet on its head down to its body. Its fur is so soft like cotton. The cat looks up to me and meows.

I grab my soda in a can and sip from it. I feel refreshed. The cat stays with me for a while until the bell rings. I pet on its head once again and leave straight off.

When I arrived, the audition has already started and it's the long blonde hair pesty who is currently on the stage. After she is the dork.

Plays and dramas are boring. Why are they enjoying them though?

"Are you going to audition for the role of the Prince?" the other peevish girl asks me. I am talking about Tsubaki. I don't know if it's really her name. I don't bother memorizing all their names.

"No. It's boring," I answer and turn my back at her. I am not interested in all of this nuisance. I just want to go home. Glad that she didn't say anything stupid to stop me.

The next morning, our adviser announces the casts for the play. First, are the lame seven dwarfs. The role of Snow White will be played by the dork and the blonde idiot is the Prince. Good for them, they look good together. The pair of dorks. And the rest of the class are the facilitators.

"The practice will start this afternoon, same time and place. Everyone must be there, understood?" our adviser commands and everyone responses with 'yes' and I just keep silent.

"It's about time. Let's go!"

The dork's fatso friend yells. She meant by going to the practice and everyone follows her. I have no choice because this is a whole class activity so, I go with them.

Upon our arrival, our adviser calls for names and she seems to instruct them then we decided to clean the room first before we start with the practice.

"Tsubaki and Kawaki, you two come here," she calls out to us so we walk closer to her. She was smiling and she taps both our shoulders before speaking.

"I have witnessed Tsubaki's skills in the directory and she was the assistant director of the Beauty and the Beast play during the Winter Festival last year and it was a success. And for Kawaki, I assigned him to assist Tsubaki in this play," she states and I get agitated when I heard that I will be assisting this peevish girl.

"What?!" I snap. I don't like the idea of being her assistant.

"Is there any problem?" she asks looking at me. I stare back at her for a second before speaking again.

"I don't have any idea about the play and it's not my subject of interest at all," I explain and that's true. Did I found all of this stuff boring now I have to do that nonsense?

"It's okay Kawaki. You'll just assist Tsubaki in the flow of the play. All you need to do is follow what she has to say," she adds. Seriously? Just like ordering me around?

"Like her watchdog?" I retaliate. I think I sound sarcastic when I said that but I don't care. The job they are giving me looks like it.

"Kawaki, that's not what I meant," she berates me. I need to cooperate, right? So, I should say, 'yes, I understand?

"Whatever," I utter. I don't want to argue with her anymore.

I go to the corner and watch them do what they are told to. I saw the peevish girl stare at me as she has something to say to me. I ignore her. To my surprise, she is already walking in my direction and stops in front of me.

"You," she points at me.

"Just because you're cool and handsome does not mean that you can do whatever you want to do and become stubborn. You have to follow what I have to say, it's needed in the play," she says and gestures being so bossy in front of me.

"You're annoying," I tell her and she frowns in front of me.

"What did you say?!" I think I made her upset.

"I don't want to repeat it," I answer.

"Well then..." she says and moves closer to me. She grabs my arm and pulls me to stand up.

"What are you doing?" I ask her while she still grabbing my arm.

"I am dragging you to our place and no complaining or else you will regret it," she threatens me. She keeps dragging me in front of the stage as they are about to start the practice. This pesty girl is annoying.

The next day, the same thing happens. This peevish girl is instructing me how to use the camera and how to perfectly get the video shot of the scenes. The recording will be played during the Winter Festival that is a few months to go by now.

"Are you listening?" she asks me while pouting.

"Shut up, I am!" I retaliate.

"What a grumpy, you can switch places with Iwabe," she utters.

"Not with that bastard and just mind your own business," I tell her.

"Tch," she murmurs. She did not say anything after that.

The Big Day

Everyone seems busy with the preparations. They are decorating the stage and some are preparing their costumes.

"Hey, will you start preparing the cam? The play will start a few hours by now," she reminds me. Her bossy attitude is damn annoying.

"Just shut up, will you?" I rebuke.

"How rude," she whispers. I ignore that or she will bicker with me until the play is over.

I prepare the tripod for the camera. Then I make sure the camera is ready before putting it on so there will be no problems occurring during the recording and I don't want this annoying girl to yell at me again.

"Ahhhh!"

A scream echoes inside the room.

"Boruto!" I hear them yell his name and everyone dashes in his direction. The blonde idiot slipped and fell. He was hurt. His ankle is swollen.

"Call the nurse!" the dork yells and someone rushes to the clinic.

"Boruto, hang in there. Everything's going to be fine," our adviser tries to calm him down.

"I-I... can't move my leg," he complains still in pain.

"We called for help," the long blonde pesty says.

"T-The play..." he stammers due to his painful leg. He is more concerned about the play than his leg? He sure is an idiot.

"Don't worry about the play. We need to attend to your safety first," our adviser responds to him.

"I... I think... I won't make it..." he hardly speaks.

The nurses came rushing to fetch him up and check his condition. They slowly put him on the stretcher and rush him to the clinic. Everyone's worried it's written on their faces.

"I need to go and check on Boruto's situation I'll be back right away," she says and grabs her bag from the chair and left for the clinic. She is too exhausted from all the mess of this play.

People start buzzing again upon her absence. They talk about him, all about him. I go to the corner to avoid their buzzes. They hurt my ears. I don't know if this play is still on without the Prince.

After an hour, our adviser returns and immediately informs us about the jerk's condition.

"Sorry, but Boruto would not make it for the play this afternoon. The doctor advised him to be confined at the hospital for further tests. He doesn't look so good. His ankle is swollen and he barely moves his leg. I really feel sorry for him. Let's pray for his fast recovery," she tells.

And the atmosphere has become sadder and the chances of the play to happen have lessened. Maybe it will be postponed or something.

"We need to choose a replacement for Boruto real quick. We are running out of time. The play starts at 1 o'clock and it's twenty-nine past eleven and we are not done yet with the preparations," her voice sounds exhausted and she worries a lot about the play. I think there will be no postponement happening here.

"Everybody listen up. The show must go on no matter what. I promised Boruto that this play must succeed even without him. He knew that everyone worked hard for it and he doesn't want all your efforts to be in vain. To whoever be chosen to be his replacement, he wants him to do his best for this play that's his only injunction," she continues. I think he badly wants to get in the drama club that he desperately wants it to happen no matter what.

Now, they worry about who is going to play the role of the Prince as the blonde idiot's replacement.

"The role of the Prince is very simple and his lines are brief and not that hard to memorize. His appearance is quick at the beginning and his next and last appearance would be at the end of the play," the peevish girl states.

"So do you have any recommendations as to whom is going to play the role of the Prince?" someone asks her.

"Actually, I have someone in mind," she is very confident that someone is capable of replacing the idiot.

"I recommend Kawaki to take Boruto's place."

What?! What did she just say?

"You can't be serious," I squeak and she just rolls her eyes. Damn this pesty girl.

"I am serious though," she is persistent, damn it!

"I am not doing that stupid fantasy of yours," I scoff. I did not want such a lame role. I don't even want this play at all. Our adviser questions her about her recommendation but she is really confident about it.

"I am. Kawaki knows everything. He is my assistant, remember?" she says while rolling her eyes. What the hell? I was paying attention to the camera, not to the play.

"I am not doing that nonsense just pick someone else," I refuse and aim to walk off.

"Kawaki, this activity is for the whole class. You can't be selfish and act stubborn. Your grades will be based on your performance here. What you get is what everyone gets, do you understand?" she tries to convince me but I am not doing it.

"I am not doing it," I say for the last time, and totally walk away from them.

"Hey, Kawaki!" I hear the annoying girl call out to me but I ignore her. I leave the room and I decided to go to the rooftop.

"Hey, stop!" why does she like pestering me around? I turn to face her.

"What do you want? I told you that I am not doing it," I tell her again.

"Listen, if you won't show up at the time of the play and Boruto will not make it to the drama club, you should start looking for a new school by then. I will make sure that you will be kicked out from here," she threatens me. I look coldly at her. Anyways, that was lame bait. I don't care. I turn my back at her and proceeds to the rooftop.

I wonder if it is coming here...

I am talking about the cat. I bring a piece of bread if ever the cat comes here again. I don't know what happened there. I gaze at my wristwatch and it is ten past one in the afternoon. It might have started now.

"Meow..."

I suddenly get up when I heard the sound. The cat jumps up the water tank and rushes to me. I carry the cat in my arms. I make it face me and I figured out that it is a tomcat.

"I will call you Kiwi from now on. Your name is Kiwi," I mutter while rubbing on his fur. I think he already likes me. I grab the bread inside the bag and feed him. He enjoys munching on it. He is so cute. I want to bring him home but maybe he has his family somewhere and he was just straying around.

I amusingly watching him enjoy the bread when suddenly I heard someone scream. I sneak to see who is underneath and it surprises me when I saw the dork still wearing her costume. She falls to her knees.

"Why all of these misfortunes were given to me? What did I do wrong to deserve all of these?"

"Why would Boruto help someone to get those stickers glued up the wall and end up hurting his leg?"

"Why does someone has to be a jerk and act so stubborn and ignorant?"

"Why is he like that?"

"Why is it so easy for him to hurt other people's feelings?"

"I hate him so much! I hate him!"

"Of all people, why me?"

I heard everything. She's crying helplessly.

Why does my heart feel heavy all of a sudden?

"Meow..."

15

Cho-Cho's POV

She runs away with tears flowing from her eyes. This is the first time I saw Sarada crying in front of everyone. She is the tough-looking smart girl that everyone used to know, but there's something they don't know about this smarty and that she is too weak in dealing with her emotions.

She is crushed, I know. It is her dream to become an actress in a way that she can inspire people especially the kids to be good individuals in the future just as Mr. Martin did to her. She also wanted to conquer her emotional instability in crucial situations like this. She is so delicate that once you did not handle it with extra care, she will shatter.

The crowd was silent after she ran off the stage. She aims to head out straight without looking back.

"Sarada!" I shout at her. I think my voice echoes inside the room but she did not turn her head back and keep running away from everyone.

Indistinct fusses take over the whole room. All of the cast goes backstage to talk about the situation. Our adviser rushes to us after Sarada heads out.

"What happened Tsubaki? I thought Kawaki will show up!" she snaps. Her voice shivers. I can feel that she did not expect that this play would fail.

"I thought he is coming too, but that idiot—" she cuts her from her tracks.

"This play is over!" she declares and walks away. She stops for a moment and watches as the crowd slowly gets out of the room.

"This is awful," Namida says almost crying.

"Damn that bastard Kawaki. He ruined everything!" Iwabe scowls.

"It's my fault," Tsubaki insists. She takes all the responsibility with Kawaki.

"Tsubaki, it is not your fault!" Yodo exclaims. Everyone seems to agree. I am just watching them talk and worry about Sarada at the same time. I can't just leave them here as nothing has happened. So, I must stay a bit longer.

"If I had not recommended that idiot, this would not happen," Tsubaki says and her face saddens.

"It's not the time to point fingers to blame. We didn't expect all of this to happen," Wasabi explains. She gazes around and looks down at the script in her hands then her face turns sad.

"Now, the chances of Sarada and Boruto to be a part of the drama club has dropped to zero," Tsubaki adds. Now, it scares me that Sarada would not make it. It scares me more than Sarada would not move on with it easily.

"What should we do now?" Denki asks and nobody responds. I guess everyone still feels terrible.

"I'm heading out!" I finally say. I decided to look for Sarada. She is depressed right now and she needs someone to talk to and I think I am a suitable candidate for the position.

I head back to our classroom to check if she is still there. I wish I could catch up to her there.

"She is not here anymore..." I murmur when I arrived. The costume was on her desk and her things are nowhere to be found.

I look for her around the campus maybe she hasn't completely left but I could not find her anywhere. I head towards the Drama Club Office with the hopes that she tried to talk to the council and my surprise, I have crossed paths with a very familiar face coming from the direction of the place I wanted to come. Now, I wonder why. I turn my head back still surprised.

"What's wrong?" the President of the Drama Club speaks behind me and I turn my head right away after hearing her speak.

"Ah... um. I'm looking for my friend. Have you seen Sarada, the girl who played Snow White earlier?" I ask and her brows furrow. She shakes her head and I sigh.

"I see. Thank you," I say and my shoulders fall. Where did she go?

I grab my phone to text her. I type my message but deletes it too. I called her number instead.

"The number you have dialed—"

Her phone is off. Okay, I give up. I think she needs to be alone right now. I just type my message and immediately sends it to her. If she's feeling better, she will text me back.

A beep from my phone startles me. Maybe it's her. I grab it from the side table and immediately open the text message.

"Oh, it is not her..." I murmur. The message came from him.

"What happened earlier?" he asks.

"The play failed."

"Why what happened?"

"Kawaki did not show up."

"I thought it is Boruto?"

"He got an injury."

"What?! What happened to him?"

I continue to chat with him. I told him everything and even he is sad about what happened.

"I am waiting for Sarada to contact me yet she hasn't sent me any messages. I'm worried."

"Maybe she needs to be alone for now."

"I guess so too."

"Don't worry everything will be okay :)"

"I really hope so. :|"

"But... are you okay?" he asks me and my heart starts to flutter.

"Yeah, it's just that I am worried about my best friend."

"She'll be fine."

"Yeah, she will definitely get over it."

We chat a little and after I feel like it's already late at night, I say good night to him though I don't want our conversation to end. He calms me in times like this but I don't want to trouble him too.

I hope Sarada is doing okay right now...

Sarada's POV

"Sarada?" I hear my mom calls out to me from the kitchen but I did not respond to her instead I run to head off to my room. I know she's wondering now.

I slam my body on the bed while my uniform and shoes are still on. My face is buried on the pillow. My eyes are swollen due to crying earlier. I don't want mom to see me like this. My bag drops to the floor.

A beep from my phone startles me and I immediately grab it from the bag. When I opened it, a message from Namida appears on the screen. I ignore it and off my phone so nobody will bother calling or texting me then I put it on the side table and get my face buried on the pillow again. After a few minutes, I fall asleep.

"Sarada? Sarada?" a call from the outside wakes me up. It's mom knocking on the door.

"The dinner's ready, honey," she says.

"I'll be there in ten minutes," I shout from the inside and she replies with 'okay' and I hear her footsteps are heading downstairs.

I get up from the bed and change my clothes first. I look at the mirror and my eyes are still slightly swollen. What I do is I wear my eyeglasses so mom would not notice my swollen eyes. I don't usually use my eyeglasses at home.

"Are you okay?" mom asks me when I settled. I think she can sense me not feeling well today.

"Yeah, I am just tired from the play earlier," I lied and she smiles at me.

"So, how was the play?" she asks while smiling.

"A-Ah, U-Uhm. It was great!" I lied again. I make it sound happy so she won't suspect anything bad happened.

"Glad to hear that. By the way, I made your favorite soup," she happily says and serves the small bowl in front of me. It looks delicious but I don't have the appetite to eat all of them.

"Is there something wrong?" she asks in a worried tone when she noticed my silence.

I shake my head to refuse so she won't get disturbed. Mom is tired from work and preparing our dinner. I start to pick some solid stuff using my chopsticks from the plate served in front of me and put them in my mouth thereafter.

I say my good night to mom when I finished washing the dishes. She heads straight to her room and so do I. I sit at my desk and grab my phone and switch it on.

Messages from Cho-Cho and some of my friends appear on the screen. They are asking how I am. I don't have the energy and the enthusiasm to reply to their text messages.

I look up and see Mr. Martin's poster pasted on the wall. It was his photo in one of my favorite movies. Mr. Martin is my inspiration for my dream of becoming an actress. He is a role model to the kids like me and I want to be a role model to the youth too. Being an influencer will make a change like teaching the kids life lessons using real-life shows and keeping positive despite hardships.

"Life is very cruel to me. I should have been on my first step to that dream but it's over now..." I clench my chest with my palm. The thought of earlier's view was too painful for me to bear. I feel so ashamed and humiliated in front of everyone who expects a lot from me. I have never been criticized like that my whole life.

"I was so disgusted with myself..."

Saturday, 6:43 AM

A beep wakes me up. I fumble on the side table and finally, I found my phone. I open it and Cho-Cho's name appears.

"Let's hang out or visit Boruto?" her message's content.

Wait, visit Boruto? Well, I haven't heard anything from him since yesterday. Hmm, that is a good idea to see him. I think I need to unwind and pay a visit to the hospital.

"What time?" I reply.

"8:30," she immediately replies.

"Okay,"

So, I get up and rush to the bathroom. I brush my teeth, get dressed, and eat breakfast. I head out of the house after I wave goodbye at mom. She's in charge of the house today.

"Sarada!" Cho-Cho's waving at me already. She's always ahead of me. I dash towards her. To my surprise, she hugs me tightly. I didn't see it coming.

"I was worried, you know?" she says almost sobbing.

"What?" I furrow.

"You haven't texted me since yesterday," she is sulking while crossing her arms.

"I'm sorry. I did not have the energy to talk to anyone," I respond.

"It's okay since we've finally met," she says while smiling.

"So, let's go?" I ask and she narrows her eyes.

"What?" I scowl. She gestures at me like she is suspecting a crime.

"When it comes to Boruto you are snappy," she comments. I am surprised. I don't know what she is implying now.

"That's not true. You told me we are visiting Boruto, right? So, I am coming," I am quick to refuse but she seems more skeptical.

"Fine, fine," she doesn't want to debate with me I guess. So, we started walking to the train station.

We bring flowers and a basket of fruits as a present for him. We knock first before opening the door. A sitting Boruto welcomes us.

"Hey, you guys!" he is surprised when he sees us. We enter the room and walk closer to him.

"We bring you flowers and fruits," I say and we put them on the side table.

"How is your leg, Boruto?" Cho-Cho asks when we are like a few inches away from him.

"The swollen ankle subsides but I can't still move it," he answers. He stares at his foot.

"So, you still can't walk, huh?" I utter and he nods.

"What happened to the play?" he suddenly asks. We are surprised when he suddenly asked about the play. So, he hasn't heard anything about it yet? We look at each other and switch our stares at him. His face saddens when he sees our reactions.

"So, it failed?" he asks then his head falls.

"The jerk did not show up," I say.

"I'm sorry," he utters. I am shocked when he apologized. It sounds to me like he is blaming himself for what happened.

"You don't have to apologize, it's not your fault. It was an accident," I try to light up the atmosphere a bit. It was not his fault so he should not blame himself.

"You did not make it to the Drama Club?" he asks and I think my face glooms.

"Well..." I utter and he interrupts me.

"Maybe it was not yet the time..." he says while smiling.

"I guess so too," I say almost whispering.

"But, we should not give up yet, right?" he says full of hope. I nod as a response to him and when I look at Cho-Cho she was smiling.

"Good morning, Sarada!" My classmates greet me when I enter the classroom.

"Good morning!" I respond and smile at them. I am feeling better now.

"You look all right," Namida remarks and smiles at me. Wasabi and the rest ask how I was feeling this weekend or I really got depressed about the play.

"Well, I felt terribly sad about the play but I guess that's what life is and I am okay now," I tell them with a smile on my lips. They nod their heads repeatedly to respond to me.

When I glanced in the direction of the jerk, he was looking outside the window like he usually does. I hate that jerk and I don't care about him anymore.

"Good morning!"

Our adviser greets and puts the books on the table. We all keep quiet and I think everyone is expecting a long preach from her but I think she is not that mad based on her reaction.

"First of all, I have good news and bad news for you," she starts, and everyone sighs.

"The bad news is about your failed activity, I have decided to give you a different project to cope up with it," she continues and everyone whines about it.

"And what about the good news?" Tsubaki asks and everyone silences.

"And for the good news, it is only for one person and that is for Sarada," she adds and I am astonished.

"For me?" I utter and point at myself. She nods.

"You still make it to the Drama Club," she reveals and I think her words did not process inside my head yet.

Do I still make it to the Drama Club? How?

"How that happened?" I ask out of nowhere. I did not expect it to slip from my mouth.

"According to the President of the club, someone appeals for your spot and it was approved due to some acceptable reasons," she explains. And I think my heart rejoices upon hearing it from her.

Cho-Cho nudges on my side and when I look to her side, she was smiling at me.

"I wanted to know who appeals for my spot to the club," I say while dragging Cho-Cho to the Drama Club office.

"Okay, okay, I understand but can we slow down a bit?" she complains. I think I am just too excited to know who did that for me.

"I'm sorry," I utter and suddenly the President of the club gets out of the room and we move closer to her side. We have blocked her way.

"What's the matter?" she asks while furrowing her brows. She seems to be in a hurry.

"I want to ask about something," I start and she is half listening I guess.

"Oh, what is it?" she asks.

"About the person who appeals for my spot in the club..." I continue and she looks at me closely.

"I see, you are Sarada, right?" she asks and I nod.

"What do you want to know about... who?" she asks.

"Yes, I want to know who appeals for my spot in the club..." I say and she nods.

"Oh, it's..."

16

"What do you want to know about... who?" the President of the club asks.

"Yes, I want to know who appeals for my spot in the club," I say and she stares at me for a second. I look at Cho-Cho and her brows raise.

"Oh, it's—"

"The principal is waiting for you. See her right away, it's urgent."

Someone has interrupted her from speaking and we turn our heads to see who was speaking to her, the President of the Sports Club.

"Hey, can we talk about it some other time? I have an urgent meeting with the principal. See you later," she says and immediately leaves.

"Well, I guess we have to wait for her until she gets back," Cho-Cho shrugs. We don't know when she will be back though maybe we have a class already before that happens.

"Let's back some other time then," I say and the bell rings thereupon. We head back to our classroom for the next lesson.

"I regret to tell you that we will be having a mock exam before the mid-term exam date. This is to prepare everyone especially those who have failed the preliminary examinations," our adviser reveals upon settling in her desk.

So, that means...

"Sarada and Kawaki, I am afraid your tutorial will be early. This mock exam must get a favorable result for Kawaki since he failed the preliminary examination and some of you too. We have discussed this with the principal last week. Moreover, you should not take this mock exam lightly because this will serve as an extra point for your final grades," she adds and everyone fusses. Buzz here, buzz there. I hate this. I don't know how to deal with the jerk.

"Please be quiet, I'm not done yet. Since Boruto is not able to come for the mock exam due to his injured leg, he will be given a separate exam and for the 12-D case, I am assigning someone as a replacement for Boruto," she continues to explain. An idea came up in my mind.

"Why not replace me as the tutor for the 12-D? I got some friends there and the tutorial will just come smoothly, no problem will arise at all. And I guess anyone would be fine with Kawaki since he is the only one," I suggest while raising one arm.

It will free me from the jerk. I don't want to see his face or even I can withstand his annoying attitude. I hope she will accept my suggestion. *fingers crossed*

"Well, I can help Kawaki out though," Yodo says then flips her hair. Hmm...

That's right, Yodo. Help me convince our adviser so I can get rid of the jerk.

"Well, I'm sorry to tell you that I have already fixed this problem. No changes for Sarada and Kawaki and Boruto's replacement, I have decided that Denki will take over as the class' top-two student," she says. No luck for me. Argh! How unfortunate I am!

Yodo scowls too after hearing her finalized her words. Cho-Cho suddenly presses me on my side that makes me face her.

"Are you okay with that?" she says whispering in my ear.

"As if I have a choice," I whisper back. Her face worries and I only give her an unsure smile. I don't really know if I am okay with it or I will just drop him mid-way. I sigh.

"The mock exam will be on Friday at 8 a.m.," she reminds.

Today is Monday, so we only have three days to do the review. Damn, this is such a pain.

"Hey, Cho-Cho!" I call out to her. She is busy tapping on her phone. Maybe texting him again? Well, I think no need to ask. We are walking home now.

"Hmm..." she responds to me. She is focused on her phone and keeps tapping on the screen. I sigh and she gives me an abrupt gaze and finally, she shoves her phone into her pocket.

"You seem busy," I say. I drop my shoulders.

"I'm sorry. What's wrong?" she asks me.

"I don't know," I say halfhearted.

"Is it about the tutorial thing?" she asks with a precise point. That's the only thing that bothers me anyway.

"I don't know how to deal with the jerk. I hate him so much that every time I see his face, I want to punch it hard," I say with all honesty. I look at the orange sky. It is so peaceful, unlike my mind.

"I envy those clouds," I absentmindedly say. It's true though, I want peace of mind but that peace is blocked by the jerk.

"Do you like me to come during your review so you won't get bored facing him?" she offers but I shake my head in disagreement.

"You have to review our lessons too. It's my problem and I don't want to burden you with it. I just wanted to have someone whom I can whine, fuss, and fret about my misfortunes in life," I chuckle and she laughs at me. I think that's what a best friend role is.

A beep from her phone stops us from our tracks. She immediately grabs it from her pocket and sees what's the content.

"It's from Tsubaki. She said Boruto will make it on Friday," she says and we snicker.

"That sounds great!" I blurt out.

"Yes, I think he is fast recovering. Thank goodness," Cho-Cho utter in relief. I smile. The dark mode earlier has lightened up a bit. I'm happy to hear that Boruto is getting well from his injury.

"Hmm... Sarada?" she calls out to me and she looks worried.

"What's the matter?" I ask in confusion.

"Have you finished your love letter for Boruto?" she asks all of a sudden.

"Huh? Why do you ask?" I say almost freaked out.

"I wanted to show you my love letter for him, you know. I want to know your opinion about it," she confesses. I think she looks embarrassed or something. Her face is so red.

"Don't tell me... Are you...?!" I freaked out this time.

"I am thinking of confessing my feelings for him even though I know he will reject me, I will still wait for him," she is so determined. I am even shocked. Never seen Cho-Cho being so hell-bent on this matter. This time is different, very different.

"I admire your courage, Cho-Cho but why so sudden?" I can't help myself from being curious.

"I have heard some girls are giving him letters lately. Maybe he enjoys reading them because if he doesn't, he will put them on trash," she explains. So, that's what fuels her to send him a letter. I wish I have the same strong heart to confess to Boruto. I am jealous of her.

"I see now. I am almost done with my letter but I still don't have the courage to confess to him," I tell her and I suddenly feel down.

"Let's send them as soon as possible!" she declares.

"What?! Are you serious?" I yell. I think I wake up the streets.

"Calm down! Don't you like it? If we won't take action now, we will regret it later, have you considered that idea?" convincing me to jump off the cliff?

"Isn't this too early for that?" I insist.

"There's no early or late in love..." she says and it makes me wonder too. I think this is a brain-wracking case.

"You meant, you are so ready even if you'll get rejected?" I ask while my irises enlarge and a part of me is regretful knowing Cho-Cho would end up broken-hearted.

"That's part of growth," she plainly says.

"How could you be so brave?!"

I grab my unfinished letter from my side table's drawer and put it down facing me wide open. I grab the pen from my case and think of what to write next to finally finish it.

I harshly scratch my hair for I have trouble constructing my sentences. Why is this such a drag?

"Hey, underneath the cherry blossom tree behind Grade 10 rooms at 3:30 in the afternoon," I tell the jerk and walk past him. My voice was loud enough for him to hear me. I told him where our meeting place is during the tutorial this afternoon. He did not respond to me. It's up to him if he will show up or not. Maybe he won't, he likes to make people wait for nothing.

I head straight to the library to get some books needed for the tutorial later. Cho-Cho is busy flipping on the pages of the book and looking uninterested. She is just flipping the pages.

"You okay?" I ask and she nods apathetically.

"Are you sure you don't want me to come with you this afternoon?" she asks. She is referring to the lecture later.

"Yeah. Besides, he might not come," I reply while piling the books on the table.

"That's too much for a review," she comments may be wondering I took few books from the shelves.

"They are all Maths and Physics books and I am borrowing them," I say and proceed to the attendant of the library to ask permission to borrow these books.

When I finished, I call out to Cho-Cho and she stands up from the chair and follows me. According to our adviser, the jerk failed these major subjects, Mathematics and Physics. So, she wants me to focus on these subjects. History and Literature are not that hard to learn so I am setting them aside.

"Are you sure about going home alone today? I can wait for you until you're done with Kawaki," she offers. Cho-Cho worries a lot about me.

"Cho-Cho, I am not a kid anymore. I can take care of myself don't worry, okay?" I tell her and I gesture like she doesn't need to worry.

"You are an unfortunate lady, remember? I just want to make sure you're safe," she says then rolls her eyes.

"I'll be fine," I insist.

"Troubles follow you," she is persistent. What should I do to her?

"Just go, come on!" I push her away and she keeps resisting.

"Okay, okay. Call me if you need something," she says while waving her phone in front of me.

"Yeah, yeah," I am defeated.

"Don't forget about the letter, we will send them when Boruto gets back. Bye," she winks at me and rushes to the school gates.

"No... way..." I whisper. Give him the letter? Speaking of which, I flip the pages of my notebook where my letter was nipped in. Finally, I have finished it, but I don't think I am well-prepared to give it to him. I shake my head and try to forget about the thought in the meantime.

I head towards the location and wait for him under the cherry blossom tree. The flowers are beautiful. They blossom under the sunlight and some are falling when swayed by the wind even my hair is swaying concurrently in the direction of the wind.

I love the fresh air around here...

When I turn to my side, I pause and remain standing without exerting extra movements.

"So, you came," I utter when I saw the jerk standing a few meters away.

"Otherwise, you will curse me to death," he replies and I think he hits me right on the spot. He is looking directly at my eyes while his hands are in his pockets. He was serious when he said that, standing there like a bad boy.

I don't know but I was dumbfounded for a while after gazing at the ambiance surrounding him.

I clear my throat before speaking.

"Let's start," I say then look away. I settle on the bench. The benches under the cherry blossom trees were provided with wooden tables for students' convenience.

He sits in front of me wearing his usual bored and emotionless face and it annoys me.

"Do you have a notebook and pen with you?" I ask. He did not speak instead grab a notebook and pen from his bag and I flip on the pages of the book. I am not looking at his face because it irritates me.

"Give it to me," I ask for his notebook and he hands it over to me. I am writing down the formula and the problem on the blank page of his notebook then face it to him when I'm done.

"This is where our lesson stopped," I say pointing at the formula. I am helping him out with Physics first. He gives me a bored look while his right elbow is leaning against the wooden table and his right palm rests on his face. He looks at the formula I wrote down in his notes.

He is really annoying!

"Now, that's the problem to be solved," I continue, now pointing at the problem.

I show him how to execute the solution. First by determining the factors needed to solve the problem. I don't know if he is paying attention to what I am saying. We will see that later.

I have finished explaining and I have solved the problem showing him the steps to the solution.

"Now, to see if you were listening to me..." I say while writing another set of problems on his notes, this time he will answer it on his own.

I give it to him after I finished constructing the problem to be solved. He stares at it first before writing down his solution.

I noticed that he hasn't spoken to me since we started the lesson, it's actually super fine with me if he will just annoy me every time he speaks.

"I'm done," he says finally. He shows me his answer and can you guess what?

"What the hell is this?!" I yell at him.

He looks at me with those usual cold eyes. I slam the table with my hands and the books, no everything on the table falls to the ground.

"Were you listening or you are just wasting my time?" I'm really upset right now.

"That's what I understood about your teachings," his reasoning is terrible. I did not even notice that we have spent almost an hour and he was not paying attention at all or did he purposely do it to annoy me?

"This topic is not that hard to understand if you were just paying attention," I scoff. He keeps his bored and cold sharp eyes looking at me and I realized I can't withstand them.

"I am not a genius like you," he retaliates. What's wrong with this jerk? I get it. He really likes pestering me. Testing my temper, huh? I don't want to stay any longer or I will end up punching a jerk's face.

"Okay, that's all for today. I think I should go now," I tell him while grabbing all the things that fell earlier.

"Why leave so early?" he asks while furrowing his brows.

"Maybe because if I stay any longer, I would definitely punch a jerk's face in no time," I sarcastically say carrying all my things.

"Oh wait, that will serve as your assignment. Make sure to answer it tonight and I will check on that tomorrow," I say before I completely leave him alone.

Jerk! Jerk! Jerk! Argh!

17

"Boruto, you are back!"

I heard my classmates shout when I am about to enter the classroom.

"Boruto is-" I whisper and stop in front of the door. Cho-Cho stops beside me. When I turn to face her, I see her brows furrow in astonishment.

"What's wrong?" she asks in a confused tone. She hasn't heard them? I tuck her hair back behind her ear and my guess is right. She got her earphones on. I move closer to her and remove the earphones from her ears.

"Boruto's back," I whisper in her ear. Her eyes widen upon hearing it. She suddenly grips on my arm and drags me inside the classroom.

"Hey Cho-Cho, what are you doing?" I snap and she gestures to me to keep quiet.

"Boruto, we're so happy to see you look so well now right, Sarada?" she says then winks at me. I don't know what she is trying to do now.

"H-Huh? Y-Yeah, "I respond while stuttering. I think I gave him an awkward smile. Why the heck she would just drag me like that? She knew I haven't prepared what to say to him yet.

"Yeah, I'm glad that I have managed to come before the mock exam. You know, I don't like getting special treatments," he replies while rubbing the back of his head.

"But your leg, is that really okay now?" I can't help myself from worrying about his injury.

"Yeah, I can walk well now. The doctor prescribed me medications to relieve the pain and completely heal the swollen ankle," he explains. I nod as a response to him.

"Glad that you are okay now," I say in relief.

"Don't worry about it. I can even run now," he chuckles, and Cho-Cho laughs.

"But, you can't still defeat me in a race," Cho-Cho brags. I know she was just joking.

"Let's see..." Boruto responds and laughs. We head to our desks after that conversation and make way for others to have time to greet him.

"I'm sorry if I burdened you with my task," I heard him tell Denki, and Denki gestures that he doesn't need to worry about it.

I look at him and nothing really changed. He is still the same Boruto I admire. I think my cheeks flush.

Canteen

"Here is my letter. Would you like to read it?" Cho-Cho says then moves the square envelope closer to me. Her cheeks blush.

"Wait, are you serious? I am not reading that" I refuse and move the envelope back to her. I'm not going to intrude. It's her privacy though.

"Hmm..." she murmurs.

"Are you going to give that to him now?" I ask her. Calculating her temper.

"I am not sure if I'll get a chance today but I am still going to give him this," she says while looking at the envelope.

"Good luck, Cho-Cho," I tell her and smile at her uncertainly. I am uncertain about mine. I clench my chest. Should I give him now?

"I thought you'll give him yours too?" I know she will ask me about mine.

"I am still unsure about it. Unlike you, I don't have the courage to confess to him yet. My mind is quite messy and I don't know if I can survive the rejection later," my words are full of honesty I even think of the rejection first before the confession but Cho-Cho is unwavering.

"Does he have any idea about your feelings?" I ask and she shakes her head. This time we're the same.

"I am gambling," she continues and I saw how she slightly crumpled the envelope.

"Do your best, Cho-Cho. Whatever happens, I am always here for you," I say and grab her hand and slowly press it. I wanted to make her feel that I am here to support her.

"Thank you," she says and smiles at me bitterly. I grab my bag and take out my notebook where my letter was nipped in. I wanted to show Cho-Cho that I too finally finished my letter. But wait...

"Where is it?" I cram when I can't find the letter. I flip on the pages of the notebook and even turn it upside down.

"What's wrong?" she asks full of concern.

"The letter..." I utter in panic mode. It can't be lost. Oh my... I search in the books, turn them upside down but nothing falls to the ground.

"No way! No way! No way!" I mumble while panicking. I can't find it. Where is it? Where is it? It can't be lost.

I'm dead if anyone sees it. It's really humiliating if someone shows it to the public... I thought.

"Is something wrong?" she asks again.

"The letter..." I utter.

"What, what letter?" she repeats still astounded.

"The letter is gone," I say almost crying.

"What?!" she freaks out.

"I don't know where to find it," I tell her. I think tears forming in the corners of my eyes. I search under the table and chair. I even search for it inside my bag but, no luck.

"Where was the last place you went to?" she asks while I am putting all my things inside my bag.

"In the classroom? At home? I don't know," I say and stand up from the chair to hurry back to the classroom maybe I left it under my desk.

"Let's search in the classroom," she says and we head straight to the room. Please be there, please!

When we arrived, we immediately head towards our desks and search for them. I fumble under my desk but nothing is there. Cho-Cho does the same thing and she shrugs when she finds nothing.

We look in every corner of the classroom maybe it fell somewhere. I even ask my classmates if they saw an envelope and they just shake their heads.

"Where are you going?" she asks me when I am about to leave the classroom.

"In the library. I returned the books I borrowed yesterday maybe I dropped it somewhere in there or nipped it in one of the books and I beg that nobody sees the letter," I say still panicking like it's going to be the end of the world tomorrow.

"You go that side and I will go in here," I tell her, and she agrees. I head straight to the shelves where I returned the borrowed books yesterday.

"Thank goodness! They are still here," I cry in relief. I grab them one by one and look for the envelope. I turn them upside down but nothing is falling to the ground.

"No way. Where did it go?" I mutter. I am sweating badly. It can't be missing or someone else would have found it and if it really happened it's really embarrassing.

I wipe my forehead with my hand and sigh. Cho-Cho came running in my direction.

[mybelovedwoo]

in which you realise you can't live without each other

wooyoung x f!reader

fluff, established relationship, comfort / wc: 1.1k

warnings: mention of eating, crying, making out/kissing

note: I had barely any time lately, so I couldn't watch any Ateez content, and I missed them so much. I wrote down all my emotions in this. I can't wait to catch up with all the videos :)

You weren't this distant with Wooyoung ever in your relationship before. It's not because you had a fight or you don't love each other anymore, it's simply because life is not on your side these days, you both are very busy people.

He is working almost every day, from early in the morning to late at night. Another semester started, so you have so much schoolwork to do, that it's actually painful. Lately, your relationship depends on texts and small phone calls here and there, you don't even remember the last time you saw him.

It isn't easy to learn though when all you have in mind is him, and how much you miss him, his gentle touch on your skin, his smile that brightens the whole room he's in, his voice that calms you down immediately, his laugh that makes you the happiest girl in the world, his love that he only has for you.

It's pretty late at night, you haven't gotten up from your desk in hours, you have awfully bad pain in your back, and you didn't even have dinner yet. You started to look around for your phone to check the time, and you found it thrown on your bed. You thought you could have a little break, so you jumped to the bed, laying on your stomach and playing with your legs in the air. 

You opened your phone and there was a message from your boyfriend, asking if you had dinner already. He is so caring, he loves to look after you, even when you are not together physically, it's just another love language of his.

You were about to reply to him when a little picture of him, making a funny face popped up on your phone. You didn't expect him to call you this late, he must be exhausted from practice earlier today.

You answered the phone and were about to scold him that he is not resting and for being on his phone instead, but as soon as you heard his voice you couldn't bare to upset him, it was impossible for you to do, he made you the happiest in the world just by hearing his lovely voice.

"Hello my love, how have you been today?" he asked with the the warmest voice, it was full of love and sincerity. You swear it brought tears to your eyes, your heart even skipped a beat.

"I'm fine, but I'm still not ready studying, I have a lot of things to do." You told him honestly, not for him to feel sorry for you, but you always told him everything.

"Did you have dinner already, right?" He was concerned, he knew how you can sometimes forget about yourself when you get caught up with something. He hated when you didn't take care of yourself, you were the most precious thing to him, and you can't even look after yourself, how dare you hurt his baby.

"It's already this late? Oh, I didn't even notice, yeah I had a snack here and there..." Okay, maybe you didn't tell him everything all the time, but it was for the good. You didn't want to worry him, you are a big girl and you can take care of yourself, you are just forgetful, that's all. You tried to lie to him, okay not lie, just skipped that part of the answer, but he noticed it right away, of course, he knew you better than yourself.

"I know you didn't eat yet. Now open the door." You were super confused. What does he mean? Why would you open the door? You couldn't even react to him when you heard keys clinging at your door.

"I swear, you make me look for my keys at bottom of my bag." That's when you realized what was happening. You got up immediately and ran to the door at full speed. But he was already taking off his shoes when you got there.

 You jumped at him with the biggest smile on your face. It was like you finally got home after a long trip, you didn't want to leave ever again, because it was the most comforting thing ever, the warmest place on earth, your safe place.

You broke the hug to look at him, it was the hardest thing to ever do. When you looked at him in the eyes, you cupped his face on both sides with your hands. His eyes were filled with tears.

He got emotional when he smelled your scent, it was his favorite scent in the world. He loved just randomly smelling you when you were together, even in public. He didn't even notice how much he missed your scent, until now.

"You smell nice." All he said, no more words were needed.

You went to the living room and sat down on the couch, cuddling up to each other. His skin felt so soft on you, it was just like silk. His body was so weak, you could feel it, it must be because of the exhaustion due to the practice. 

"You can't imagine how painfully lonely my life was without you here." You told him as you caressed his hair, and admired the features of his face.

"Baby, I think I realized something." He told you as he leaned into your touch. You gave him all your attention for him to continue his thoughts. "I can't live without you anymore."

You couldn't believe what you were hearing, not because you weren't expecting him to say such a thing, but because you were feeling the same thing.

"Good thing I'm not planning to live without you." You tried to comfort him. All you ever wanted was to take away all his pain, to protect him from it all, and catch him when he falls because when he is happy there is nothing like it on earth.

His eyes were sparkling and he made a quick glance at your lips. You knew exactly what was about to happen, you knew all of his moves and glances. He gently kissed you, it was warm and passionate, and it has all of his love in it. You didn't need much time to pick up his rhythm, you were already used to each other.

He gently ran over the tip of his tounges at your bottom lip, so you did the same thing. The kissing got hotter in a second. He carefully laid you down on your back as he got on top of you. You don't even know how long it lasted, but neither of you wanted to stop it, you just went with the flow, it was like you were teenagers again and making out after school before your parents came home from work.

But sadly he suddenly broke your make-out session. You finally had time to catch your breath.

"Wait, trust me, I want to continue this really badly, but we should have dinner first, you didn't even eat yet." It wasn't the moment for him to be so caring, but how could you ever say no to him? At this very moment, you would do anything he would ask you to do. 

-

taglist * @laylasbunbunny (you can message me if you want to be added or removed)

[fairyofjaeyun]

k j w ➳ chicken nuggets ☾

[10:36] now playing: only in my dreams - the marías

[warning] mommy kink, cg/l undertones, mentions of abuse, handjob, blowjob, mention of a panic attack, slightly little!jungwoo

2nd person // 2k words

[a/n] here’s an old jungwoo fic cause he’s been wrecking me so bad

⁺˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧͙⁺˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧͙⁺˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧͙ ⁺˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧͙⁺˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧͙⁺˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧͙

you huffed as you set down the heavy bag of dog food after feeding the last pet. you smiled at the little dachshund chowing down on his food, making a mess. you run your hand down his thin coat. "goodnight, scrappy. I'll see you tomorrow." he paid no attention to you because licking every last crumb was far more important. hence why you named him scrappy.

"hey, jennie!" you called out to your coworker. she peeked her head out the door. "yeah?" she answered, holding one of the baby kittens. "you think you could close up shop tonight? I'm exhausted." you groaned dramatically. "sure. I still have a couple of litter boxes to clean." she scrunched up her nose and you chuckled.

you gave her a farewell before grabbing your bag and heading out the shelters front entrance. you've been working there for about a year now. you may not get paid much but helping out animals always made you feel good about yourself. and the fact that it was only a 15 minute walk from your house made it extra convenient.

it was damp and chilly from the rain earlier. a slight, calm breeze flowed through your hair. however, the humidity still lingered in the air, making you feel gross and sticky.

after walking a couple of blocks, you heard a faint noise. at first, you thought you were just imagining things because it was so hushed and soft. as if the evening wind whispered in your ear. but as you kept walking, it progressively got louder, sending chills throughout your spine and your hand digging in your unorganized bag for your phone.

you still couldn't make out what it was, and being alone on the empty street made it even more eerie. you looked around until you noticed a small silhouette sitting against the wall of the antique store with their head buried in their knees. it looked like a boy.

you stared, a bit petrified, until you heard an identical noise come from the vulnerable figure. his upper body shaking. you slowly walked up to him, now recognizing the soft noise as sobs. "hey." you said gently. he picked his head up. the dull street lights were bright enough to show some of the feminine features of his face. his cheeks were red and his eyes were puffy from crying, his light brown hair covering his forehead.

then it clicked, he was one of the cashiers at the ice cream shop just a few doors down from the shelter. what was his name, again? johnny? jeno? "are you okay? what's wrong?" you kneeled down to his level, you saw nothing but despair reflecting from his bloodshot eyes.

you've only seen him a couple of times at the shop but he always looked so smiley, like nothing in the world could ever bring him down. it hurt to see him like this even though you never had a proper conversation with him.

he sniffled and rubbed his bare arms after feeling the cool wind. "t-they yelled a-t me." he hiccups. "who? who yelled at you?" you asked. he stared down at his aching legs, his jeans were drenched and sticking to his skin. "my mommy and h-her boyfriend, they h-hit me. I- c-can't go home, I-I'm s-so scared." more tears streamed down his face as his breath became short and unsteady.

you immediately put your hand on his shoulder to calm him. "hey, it's okay. deep breaths." you helped him gain control of his breathing before moving his hair away from his face. "if you want you could stay with me for the night." he looked at you with big, twinkling eyes. "really?" he asked with enthusiasm, like a kid who's just been told that he was going to disneyland.

even you were surprised by your offer. why the hell would you take home a grown man you don't even know? maybe it's because he wasn't his age mentally, he had the personality of a little kid. his voice was gentle and pure, he wore pastel colored clothing, and was extremely sensitive and easily trusted others. shit, he held your hand the whole way home.

you took out your house key, the boy’s fingers still intertwining with yours, then unlocked your front door, revealing your dark living room. after turning on the lights, you offered the young boy some food. "are you hungry? I don't have much since I haven't gone grocery shopping but you can help yourself to whatever you want."

"thank you, y/n/n." he gave you a quick hug, which caught you off guard. on the way home, you had introduced yourself and he called you by your nickname because he thought it was cute. and he had introduced himself as well; jungwoo. you knew it was with a j.

he looked through your cabinets and refrigerator before he gasped loudly, making you turn your head because you thought he was having another panic attack. "chicken nuggets!" he pulls out the big bag of frozen chicken nuggets from the freezer with a bright, toothy smile.

you put a hand on your chest in relief. "don't scare me like that." you said rather harshly. you immediately regret it when you saw his lip quiver into a pout. "I'm sorry." he whispered, focusing on his feet.

"nononono, its okay!" you shouted before he could start crying again and grabbed his hand. "I'm not mad at you." jungwoo studied your panicked expression, trying to hold back the tears that were threatening to spill. "are you sure? you're not gonna hit me, are you?"

that sentence instantly tugged at your heartstrings. "no, sweetie. I would never hurt you." jungwoo slowly raised his pinky, looking at you with big puppy eyes. "promise?"

you had to hold back some tears of your own. not just from sadness, but from anger as well. who the hell would lay a hand on him? sick fucking parents.

you flashed him a genuine smile, hooking your pinky with his. "I promise." he giggled and wrapped his arms around you, snuggling his head into the crook of your neck. "thank you!"

you awkwardly pat his head. "you're welcome, kid." there was short moment of silence as he continued to nuzzle against you. "uhhhh, do you want me to make the chicken nuggets?" you said, feeling uncomfortable yet content at the same time. emotions are weird.

he nodded instantly before clapping his hands together. "yes, please!" he shouted but because his voice was so soft it wasn't much different from his normal tone. "ight. you want them in the microwave or oven?"

"Oven, please. I like em crispy." he then scurried off to your living room to go explore the new environment. you shook your head as you opened the bag of frozen nuggets that were less than halfway gone. all it took was a quick growl of your stomach for you to dump the rest of the bag onto a pan and put them into the oven.

after putting them in the oven and wiping the nugget crumbs off your hands, you went to go search for some dry clothes for jungwoo. you went into your closet and got your oversized sweatpants and a plain tee shirt before finding him sitting on the couch with a pout.

"jungwoo, what's wrong?" he made a small whimper before hesitantly glancing at you. "umm... I have a situation..." he mumbled softly before spreading his legs, showing off his erected member. you couldn't help but stare at it as it twitched underneath his soaked jeans. "are you mad at me?"

"uhhhh..." you cleared you throat. "n-no. you can—uhm— take care of it in your room, I guess?" it was more of a suggestion than an offer. because what the fuck are you supposed to do in this situation? "can you do it?" he whined, palming his bulge.  shit! now what? if it was any other guy, even a close friend, you would've said “fuck no.” but the way he stared at you—practically begging with his eyes—it did something to you.

you mentally took a deep breathe and walked over to him, kneeling between his legs. "it hurts." he winced at the slightest touch. his tight jeans didn't make it any better. "how long have you been hard?" you asked out of curiosity because you don't recall him having boner when you met him a good one hour ago.

"ummm— I don't know. an hour?" you rubbed your temple and grumbled a low "of course" under your breath. jungwoo watched you contemplate your life choices, oblivious. "fuck it." you cursed out loud, and before you could change your mind, you palmed him roughly and he whimpered.

you started massaging his erection with you palm, going in small, circular motions as he arched his back. "y-yes! that feels so good~" he rotated his hips to gain more friction, letting out a painful moan. your core was on fire from the wonderful noises he was making. you slipped your hand down to your clothed clit and started rubbing it through your jeans.

"can you take my pants off, please?" he asked, cutely. you swiped your tongue across your lips as you swiftly unzipped his damp jeans and tossed them onto the floor. the pink heart decorated cotton he wore urged you to smile before locking your eyes on his cock that leaked through his boxers.

jungwoo winced when you tightly gripped his shaft and proceeded to pump him. "oh~ yes!" he moaned. his hand searched for yours and he intertwined your fingers together.

to ease his pain, you decided to take off his boxers and he practically screamed when his naked dick met your warm hand. "yes, mommy!" those words made you pause mentally. it made your stomach engulf in flames because of how angelic yet lewd he said it. it also made everything click into place—he was a submissive and his no good dom fucked him over.

something exploded inside of you: a whole mix of unexplainable emotions. "does mommy make you feel good?" you purred seductively, making jungwoo whimper and nod his head. "yes! you're so much better than my old mommy." you grabbed his chin and exposed his neck so you could sink your teeth into him. you left pretty purple marks all over him before hovering your lips over his ear and saying, "good."

your hot breath made him shiver. goosebumps trailed all over his body as you sucked on his earlobe and continued to jack him off. his member twitched in your hands as he balled his fists. "mommy, can I touch you? p-please?" he asked. his big, mesmerizing eyes pleading at you. you unattached your lips from his ear. "of course, baby." he grinned and placed his hands on your waist, slowly inching up towards your boobs.

he exhaled harshly when he cupped your breasts, loving how they fit perfectly in his hands. "you're so pretty, mommy." he beamed, continuing to play with your boobs. you couldn't resist a light chuckle, a faint blush surfacing on your face. "thank you, baby." you both locked eyes for a moment, admiring each other, before jungwoo lightly pushes down your head to collide with his lips.

it took you by surprise, but you eventually follow his rhythm in a sweet, passionate kiss. he moaned into your mouth a few times from the combination of you jerking him and your tongue exploring his mouth. although, he was the first one pull away. a short string of saliva still connected the two of you. "mommy, I'm gonna cum." you started moving your hand faster, making his hips buck. "cum for mommy, baby." He moaned lewdly before aching his back and cumming all over his stomach and your hands.

he was out of breath, his chest rose up and down in a rapid manner. "good boy." you praised, smearing his juices all over his stomach. "thank you, mommy." he showed off his toothy grin, innocent as ever. then suddenly a short ding came from the oven, letting you know that the nuggets will be done in less than a minute. "perfect timing." you chuckled.

⁺˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧͙⁺˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧͙⁺˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧͙ ⁺˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧͙⁺˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧͙⁺˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧͙