#i was walking somewhere in town that i dont normally walk while listening to an ep of mbmbam

[piplupod]

i have this weird memory skill where if I am listening to something while doing something, oftentimes when I do the same thing later on I can very clearly remember whatever it was that I was listening to

and I've been making omelettes for dinner almost every night for the past... month and also listening to TAZ vs Dracula and The Da Vinci Code back and forth while making dinner in the evenings

so now when I'm working on making an omelette with nothing playing, I get weird snippets of those two things jumbled together in some kind of fucked up mash-up story and it's just... such a strange experience fhdjdkl

[billthedrake]

Another story idea given by @maturedadsandmen

BIRD IN THE HAND

Cole Walker was about two blocks from his destination when his phone rang. He normally wouldn't answer it, but it was his sorta-kinda boyfriend/fuckbuddy John. Cole still made fun of John for still preferring to call instead of just text, but that's what you get sometimes for dating a man much older.

"Hey," the 24 year old answered. DC weather had moved from cold to brisk and his cheeks were flush.

"Hiya sexy," the said. John's voice was a craggy tenor, with an upstate New York accent. "Just wanted to hear your voice."

Cole smiled. The whole arrangement with John was weird, to say the least. The congressional staffer didn't even know the guy's last name. John was an FBI agent who was VERY closeted. In a town like DC, that wasn't unusual, and Cole himself had only told a couple of close friends that he was gay. But John seemed to want the boyfriend stuff as much as the sex. Cuddling, long talks, dates. All while being crazy protective of his privacy.

"Tough day?" Cole asked. He wished he didn't feel so eager to talk to the man, but it wasn't like he was ready for an open boyfriend either. The fact the federal agent was 47 made something real and public seem impossible to the younger man. He, too, enjoyed the play-pretend nature of their dating if he was honest with himself.

"And how," John breathed. "I'm about to meet a buddy for dinner, but I wanted to call... we still on for date night Saturday? I'll take you somewhere nice." It was only then that Cole could tell the man was in a public place and talking a little quieter than normal.

"Yeah," Cole replied. "And you don't have to go all out. I just enjoy seeing you."

There was a contrite pause on the other end. "I know I've not been good at things lately.. but would it be pushing my luck to have you stay over this time?"

Cole's heart pounded. It was hard to hold a grudge. "No, not at all."

John's volume got lower. "Damn, studly," he hissed. "That's gonna help me get through this week all right."

"Yeah," the younger man chimed in.

"Listen... I gotta go. But see you Saturday?"

"Yep," Cole replied. "Looking forward to it."

After they hung up, Cole felt guilty. It wasn't like he and John were boyfriends, really, not in the conventional sense, and they'd never said anything about being exclusive. If the agent ever asked, Cole would very likely agree to be a one-man guy but until then...

But the real reason he felt guilty is that Paul Ricciardi pushed his buttons in a different way than John. Cole dubbed him the "Head Honcho" is his mind, and while Ricciardi wasn't the number one guy at the Bureau, he wasn't that far down the org chart. In a lot of ways, he was the opposite of John - married and addicted to down-low sex, more dominant in bed, and confident in hooking up with a recently graduated dude despite his high-profile position. He knew Cole Walker was after dick and wasn't gonna blab to anyone.

Paul was just wrapping up a phone call when he heard the buzzer of the apartment. The rental was justified as a place to crash for late nights, but certainly his wife knew her 53-year-old husband kept on an affair, maybe more than one. They just never talked about it. The dont-ask-dont-tell approach worked for the law man.

Ricciardi's gruff face cracked a smile when he opened the door to see Cole. Dudes like this were dime a dozen in DC... congressional staffer, needy bottom, daddy issues galore. But this Walker kid was exceptional: he'd played soccer at Georgetown and his bulking up since graduation had interfered with that youthful jock look. The real deal. No two ways about, Cole was gorgeous. Just the right amount of masculine, the right amount of cute, total boy-next-door who still carried that jock gain as he walked in.

"Hey," Cole's voice said, quietly as he walked in. He respected Paul's need for discretion, it was almost intuitive.

"Hey," the career law enforcement man whispered in a soft growl, shutting the door. "You look hot as fuck."

Cole's eyes swept up Ricciardi's build. Mid-50s and fit as ever, the toned daddy beef filling out Paul's conservative but expensive suit and the short-cropped gray hair setting off the intensity of the man's brown eyes. The tie was loosened but other wise he was a poster boy for Bureau leadership. "You too," he gulped.

Paul grinned and reached up to cup the back of Cole's neck, yanking the younger man into a hot kiss.

Cole moaned into Paul's mouth as that thick tongue conquered him. He could taste scotch and smell the man's cologne. Reflexes kicked in as he reached forward to hold the man's suited waist, enjoying the feel of the Head Honcho's hard body beneath.

The kiss was over as quickly as it started. Ricciardi stepped back and reached down to unzip his suit trousers. The man wasn't overly hung - like John, his cock was meaty, even fat. "Gonna suck Daddy's cock, kid?" Paul roughly growled.

"Fuck yes," Cole said. He's been with only six men since first becoming sexually active at 21. But he quickly realized he was all bottom - orally and anally. He was still surprised he'd bagged two FBI men over the last year and a half. Luck, for sure, but it was also clear the ex-soccer jock had a type. Both Paul and John were strong, silent daddy personalities. His own father was a PA state trooper, and one day Cole would have to analyze the fucked-up part of his head that got turned on by that. Or not. Maybe it was something that could never fully be explained - it's just something about a law enforcement man pushed his buttons big time.

Paul Ricciardi was careful about who he fucked. He had a one-at-a-time rule, for the sake of discretion. By now, he'd had his share of hot young men. He'd met some real sluts and a couple of ex-jocks like Cole. But no one had combined that effortless masculinity with a real bottom eagerness like this kid.

"Fuck yeah," he growled as Cole began deep throating that fat hog. "Swallow Daddy."

More than he realized Cole was worked up that evening. He would have chalked it up to missing this cock, but actually Paul had reached out to him more frequently lately, no longer the once a month booty call. Maybe the more he had it, the more he wanted it.

That hand now clasped the back of Cole's neck and held tight as Paul's hips went into overdrive. Fast hard jabs battered the back of Cole's gullet. It was too much, and Cole coughed some on it, which made Paul pause before starting a gentler, if no less deep, thrusting.

Finally he pulled out, that dick spit wet and rock hard. It was beautiful to Cole. Like with John, he decided he liked the extra girth more than he craved extra length. For as bottomy as he was, the young stud wasn't a size queen. He'd prefer a tool that could use him without too much discomfort.

"To the bedroom, kid," Paul hissed, a hint of a smile cracking on the stern face. He was used to being in charge in every aspect of his life. He was in charge now. But something about this jock stud made him feel a little less in control.

Cole scrambled up. He'd learned to come over to Paul's prepared. Sometimes the two took their time, sometimes the married man seeded him in two minutes flat and sent him back home. As they entered the spare bedroom for the apartment, Cole quickly peeled off his sweatshirt and T in one move and just as quickly kicked off his sneakers and peeled down the jeans. There was nothing underneath and his own hardon stood up erect and excited. Cole may not have had the girth of his boyfriend or this man, but he was hung longer and the sparser crotch hair made his jock bone look even longer.

Paul was taking off his suit and laying it on a chair. He'd hang it up later. For now, his ravenous eyes were on Cole as he got onto the bed, on all fours. They didn't always mate this way but it was Ricciardi's favorite position, and Cole's too, thought they'd never talked about it. They just fucked.

Then watched the Head Honcho step toward the bed, his body tightly dense from dedicated workouts. The chest fur wasn't as silver as his hair, but it was getting there, and it got denser the closer toward that magic cock, which was already dripping.

"Damn, when was the last time you got off?" Cole asked.

Paul climbed on the bed and ran his hand over the ex-jock's dusty haired but half smooth rump. "Fucked the wife yesterday," he hissed. "I'm just a horny guy."

"I'll say," Cole replied. He didn't know what he thought about fooling around with a married man. It probably wasn't the moral thing to do. At least John was single, or said he was single. Maybe the man lied, hence the lack of a last name.

Then Cole felt the nuzzling of the man's face in his clean crack and the contact of that thick tongue. John was actually better at rimming, or at least liked to go longer, but something about Paul's intensity drove him wild. "Yes," he hissed backing his ass back against the man's munching face. A hard slap hit his cheek as the Head Honcho dove in more eagerly. It was gonna be a quick one, but Ricciardi was a grade-A ass man and could rarely resist a taste of Cole's jock hole.

"Goddamn," the FBI man finally said as he leaned up. Cole could feel that hard beef press against his back as Paul reached over for some lube. Just a squirt, not too much... Ricciardi liked a snug ride.

The man quickly fingere Cole and almost as quickly lined up that fat prick to press in.

Cole's deflowering, the night after his 21st birthday, had been by a very patient man, and he'd lucked out to find a couple of tops who knew how to go slow at first. Paul Ricciardi was the first man to show Cole he didn't always need slow.

That dick popped in now, snapping open the elasticity of the young man's pucker.

"Fuck yes!" Paul growled. He leaned forward again, covering Cole's smooth back with his own meaty furry one. "You feel that kid?"

"God yes," Cole hissed. Maybe it was the rank or the badge, but everything about Paul turned him on and made this FAR easier than he'd ever imagine. He even enjoyed the crude way Ricciardi's bone just barreled in further, past his internal tightness. "Fuck me, man."

That was Paul's cue, his green light. Wrapping an arm around Cole's shoulder and neck, he held on tightly and thrust all the way into the hot stud. Barely taking a rest, he began fucking, hard.

"Oh fuck!" Cole whimpered. He wished he could keep his normally deep voice low, but the pitch rose once Paul reamed him like this. "Oh god, oh fuck!"

A hand clasped over his mouth. Paul wasn't overly verbal today, though he could be. Instead he gripped the kid close and rode him hard. It had been a tough week and he needed a fuck like this to channel his stress.

Each mating like this made Cole wonder if it could get better. His prick was now leaking like crazy on Paul's bedsheets and his muscles flexed involuntarily in the man's strong grip.

THIS is what made him feel about going around behind John's back. Cole wished to god that John could fuck like this, or would fuck like this. The Head Honcho was even less available a man than John, but he outmanned Cole's boyfriend in the sack.

BAM, BAM, BAM. Paul's fat cock was relentless now. Some guys couldn't take it. Cole could, and would. The very knowledge had the FBI big-wig's prick getting slick with his own precum.

Cole concentrated and forced himself to quiet his moans. The hand unclasped from his mouth and moved to feel up more of the ex-soccer jock's lean body.

"You're close," he heard. Paul wasn't asking a question.

Cole forced his voice back to its deeper register. "Yah." He felt light headed now. Before Paul he thought hands-free cums were a myth. They weren't though, and he was about to offer proof again now.

"Oh shit," he breathed in a whisper. His dick jerked and the first spray of precum jetted out, matching what Paul was pushing deeper and deep into his guts with each hard jab.

BAM, BAM, BAM. The fucking was harder and faster, if possible, only Ricciardi was starting to lose his cadence. The man was orgasming now.

Cole's dick now jerked again, and the cum flew out. Seven heavy ropes of young cum being pressed out from within. Cole didn't pass out exactly, but he lost focus, like he'd sucked too many poppers at once.

Paul's body slowed and now rested immobile on his back. A light kiss was the one gesture of affection Ricciardi offered him, ever, but the simple act was more powerful for it. Cole wished he could have experienced his partner's cum more vividly, but the payoff of the simultaneous orgasm made up for it. He and John had done that once.

Paul rolled his muscular, FBI-fit body off his sexual conquest and lazily plopped onto the mattress. He was sweaty and handsome as fuck and his prick still twitched in its wetness, semen oozing out of the tip.

Just as lazily Ricciardi reached over to stroke Cole's side as the younger stud gingerly stretched his legs and lay on his back. "Remind me to thank your boyfriend for the hall pass," he hissed.

Cole had told the Head Honcho that he was seeing someone. He's admitted it to put Paul at ease for a discreet hookup, but he regretted sharing that info now. "He doesn't know, actually."

Paul chuckled. "I thought you said you had an arrangement... but that's cool, kid."

Cole felt embarrassed. "I mean, we don't have an exclusive thing, but I guess I haven't gone into details with him."

Normally the Head Honcho would be getting up, going to piss, showering off, or just slipping on some sweat pants in a clear signal it was Cole's time to go. Instead the man's eyes seemed not to get enough of the 24-year old and his hand moved up to gingerly stroke Cole's cute-handsome face.

"Well, I'm glad this works out for you," Ricciardi said. "I know I come on strong, but you're really fucking hot."

"I know," Cole smiled. He knew his worth, but it was also a joke.

Paul got it, chuckling. "As you can tell, I'm a busy man... but I'd love to see you a little more often. If it works out with you and your boyfriend." For a take-charge man, he seemed surprisingly shy in his request.

"That's be hot," Cole said. Paul Ricciardi didn't kiss as much as Cole would like, almost never after the act itself. But it was hard to give up the man's harder approach in bed and his overall sexiness. "You're really fucking hot, too."

"I know," Paul repeated Cole's joke back to him in perfect timing. "Am I hotter than your boyfriend?" he asked with a wink, then patted Cole's chest. "Sorry, that was my male competitiveness kicking in."

Cole nodded. He wasn't going to give Paul the satisfaction of an answer. Besides he didn't know how he would answer. John was sexy as fuck, too, and reminded Cole a lot of Paul in his stature, build, and appearance. "Maybe I shouldn't admit this but he works for the bureau, too."

"Yeah?" he smirked.

"Yeah," Cole nodded. He was glad to see Paul's laid back side. Maybe being married, the man wasn't bothered by hearing about another man. Lazily, the man's fingers caressed Cole's chest muscle. "John. A field agent," Cole said, opening up. He'd not been able to tell a single other soul about the most important development of his life over the last year. It turns out this DL hookup with a DC big shot gave him the only opportunity. He blushed as he added, "Funny thing is I don't even know his last name. He's super closeted. Always going on about how he's married to the Bureau and doesn't have time for anything else."

"Sounds like my brother Jo..." Paul stopped, his face growing beet red and his fingers pausing in their motion on Cole's naked body. "Jesus Christ, you're not fucking my brother are you?"

Cole was taken aback. The idea was crazy and yet once Paul said, he knew it was possible, even likely. The resemblance wasn't dead-on, but it wasn't far apart either. "I dunno," he stammered. "Fuck."

Paul got out of bed and Cole felt bad. Ashamed but also pissed. This guy was probably overreacting. There had to be a thousand Johns in the Bureau. But judging from the Head Honcho's reaction, Cole worried he'd fucked up a good thing.

Only Paul's expression wasn't anger as he walked back in. He had his phone in his hand. He slid back into bed and held it up. There was a photo of John already, probably taken a year ago at the beach, the agent in chino shorts and a casual polo, barefoot in the sand at sunset.

"Is that him?" Paul asked, like he was interrogating a suspect.

Cole nodded, tears welling at the edge of his eyes. "Sorry, Paul," he muttered. "Fuck, I didn't know."

Paul gave a grimace which was strangely comforting as he set down his phone. "I know you didn't, kiddo." He gave Cole a good look, like he was still trying to process things. "Confirmed bachelor, my ass," he laughed cynically.

"I don't know... he's kept things casual with us. Sometimes I think it's more a fuck buddy thing, you know?" Cole was trying to make it sound better, but the more he talked the more he realized it was sounding worse.

Paul had one last shake of the head. "Well, my brother had good fucking taste... I'll give him that." Then, "maybe you should go, OK?"

His tone was surprisingly empathetic, not mean. Cole could tell Paul was feeling concern that he'd encroached in onto his brother's guy and was processing the fact John was very probably full-on gay. And maybe the Head Honcho was worried how Cole was processing all this.

"Yeah," the ex-jock said, quickly gathering his clothes to put back on.

"Don't worry, kid," Paul said, leaning up in his bed, still naked and hunky looking. "This shit happens. Well, maybe not very often, but it's nothing to get freaked over."

"I'm OK," Cole said gamely. A million thoughts were racing in his mind but one worry in particular.

"But what?" Ricciairdi prompted, able to tell something was bugging the young guy.

"I shouldn't admit this," Cole said. "But I'm gonna miss the sex we've had."

Paul's brown eyes sought his and it was like their connection was a spark of energy. "Me, too, kid, me too."

Cole Walker thought about those words the whole walk back to his apartment.

[midnightstar-90]

New Girl

Taglist | Request | Wattpad

Main Masterlist | Other Actors/Characters Masterlist

Part 2

Dave Lizewski x Reader

Request by @butterflyangelsworld2002: Hey! Thank you for my story request! The tutor fanfic was actually awesome! I wanted to make my request more specific as you mentioned before posting the story! I wanted to make the story about Valerie Hazelwood being the new girl at school, sits nexts to Dave Lizewski in one of her classes and that's where the love sparks come in place where they become friends into lovers while seeing each other. I dont know if it's too late to put in that request but that's my idea.

Warnings: Innocent Flirting, maybe just a little cursing, a tiny hint at drugs

A/N: Just so you know, Dave isn't Kickass in this. He does still get jumped, and the rumor of him being gay still happens.

Usually, when you see a beautiful blonde-haired girl, you usually aren’t quick to assume that she likes nerds. You would normally think she’d go for a guy who likes sports and manly things. But that was the complete opposite of what Valerie Hazelwood wanted.

Valerie is a beautiful 17-year-old girl with blonde hair, mesmerizing blue eyes, full round lips, and high cheekbones. Growing up, many compared her to Barbie. But she wasn’t Barbie. She wasn’t the stereotypical popular blonde girl. Sure she had many friends but were they really her friends if they knew nothing about her. Her “friends” at her old school would try and hook her up with other popular kids, but Valerie found no interest in them.

Now, Valerie wasn’t dumb, but she also wasn’t the brightest. Her father had hired a boy named Xavier Washington, who was a nerd, and that was when she found what type of person she clicked with. Xavier would talk for hours about Star Wars, superheroes, and some video game that had just been released, and Valerie would just listen, fascinated by the sound of his voice and how excited these topics made him feel. It was their 3rd tutoring session, right before a test, where Valerie expressed her interest in his interests. Xavier thought she was trying to get him to help her cheat on her test, and wasn’t for it. He never spoke to her in the halls, and it made her sad that he would just assume like that. Valerie’s parents saw that she was no longer the happy, cheerful girl that they had raised.

Valerie transferred to Millard Fillmore High School, all the way on the other side of town, where she would have a completely new start. She was happy when she heard the news. No one knew her. No one to judge her. Somewhere where she was an equal.

Valerie stood on the steps, outside the school, taking a deep breath before entering the massive building. She asked a random kid for instructions to the front office where she met the principal, got her schedule from the lady at the front desk, and made her first friend. Her first friend was a girl named Katie Deauxma, who was also her guide. Katie was a brunette with blue eyes and a beautiful smile. Katie showed her the library, the computer lab, where her classes were, and the cafeteria all before the "5 til school starts" bell. Katie was nice, and Valerie was sure that she was a true friend.

Just in case Valerie forgot, Katie led her to her first period. "I'll meet you outside your class to help you to second period, okay?" Katie tells the girl. Valerie nods and smiles before walking into class. She walked into her first class, chemistry. Students walked in and sat at their designated lab tables. The teacher was nowhere to be found, so Valerie awkwardly stood by the door, waiting.

Three boys entered the class. The boy in the front looked uncomfortable, while the other two boys behind him were laughing at him. Valerie had to admit that they were all cute, granted, they all looked like nerds. The boy in the front had silky brown curls and circular glasses. One of the boys behind him also had glasses, but his glasses were more rectangular. The third boy had curls that were just as curly as the boy in front, but a lighter shade of brown.  "I can't believe you've been keeping this secret from us!" the boy with the lighter brown curls said pretty loudly.

"Todd, I already told you that I'm not gay," The curly-haired boy replied annoyingly. They walk past Valerie, not even noticing her. She continues to watch the interaction. "You're just in denial, Dave. It's okay, we support you and your choice to date guys," The other boy says. The boy who I guess is Dave rolls his eyes and says, "sure, Marty." They sit down at their assigned tables, right as the bell rings.

The teacher walks in, noticing the girl standing by the door. "Oh, you scared me there. You must be our new student," the teacher says. She grabs her clipboard and says, "Valerie, is it?" Valerie nods, earning a smile from her teacher. "Well, it's nice to meet you, Valerie. I'm Mrs. Evans, your new chemistry teacher. I think I'm going to sit you next to Dave. Dave, raise your hand!" She calls out.

The boy with dark brown curls and circular glasses looks up. Noticing what Mrs. Evans had asked of him, he complies, raising his hand. "That is Dave, your new lab partner. He'll catch you up on this week's notes. Now, go have a seat."

Valerie complied, walking toward the seat next to Dave. She sits down in her seat, placing her bag next to her foot. Valerie looks at Dave to see him looking back at her with a shy smile. She gives him a smile back, and he looks away, embarrassed. Even though he turned away from Valerie, she couldn't help but notice Dave's beautifully long eyelashes. She wanted to see them once more, so she decided to get his attention. "So, Mrs. Evans says you can help catch me up with this week's note," she says, pulling out her notebook.

Dave looks back at her, and Valerie stares into his steel-blue eyes lovingly. Dave nervously goes into his backpack, pulling out his notebook. "Um-yeah-uh-sure. Yeah, you can borrow my notes," He says, handing over his notes. Valerie doesn't respond. "Uhh- Valerie?" Dave says, getting Valerie's attention. She shakes her head, bringing her focus back to the notes. Her hands start to shake as she slowly grabs onto Dave's notebook, their fingers slightly touching.

"Thanks!" She says, turning her head away from the curly-haired boy. She spends the rest of class collecting notes from Dave and Mrs. Evans.

After class, Valerie quietly hands back Dave's notebook and makes her way out of the classroom. Dave notices and calls out to her. "Valerie!" Valerie turns at the call of her name, seeing Dave. "Hey, I-we- me and my friends were wondering if you wanted to join us at the comic shop, after school."

Valerie can feel the air leave her lungs as she watches Dave look at her with a hopeful look. "Um." She looks behind him to see the two boys from earlier. She's reminded of the conversation he was having with his friends earlier. "Is her really gay?" Valerie thought to herself. Her face grew sad, but she responds with, "Uh- Sure."

Dave smiles, "Okay, so I'll see you after school then."

"Okay."

Dave, with the same smile on his face, leaves the classroom. His friends follow him out, but not without Valeri receiving a wink from Todd. She blushes. At least she knew that if Dave didn't like her, there were plenty of cute nerds here.

When she knew Dave and his friends were gone, Valerie left the chemistry classroom. Valerie forgot about what Katie told her earlier and was spooked when Katie was right in her face as she exited the room. She jumped at the sight of the brunette in front of her. "You know Dave Lizewski?" Katie asked right away. We started our walk to my next class.

"Not really, but he is my lab partner, and he invited me to a comic shop later. Why?"

"He's the talk of the school... Well, besides you. I heard from some of my friends that he was gay," She said cautiously.

"How do you know this?"

"Dave's friend, Todd I believe, said that Dave was jumped. And when he arrived at the hospital, he wasn't wearing any clothes. Everyone in school believes Dave was jumped while doing some suspicious activities. I think the "gay" rumor is better than the "drug dealer" or "drug addict" rumors."

Valerie was confused. So, everyone believes Dave is gay based off of a rumor? "Did Dave ever accept these rumors?"

"No, but it's okay if he wants to stay closeted."

Valerie really had to think about all that was said in the past hour. She wondered if she truly had a shot with one of the cutest nerds she's ever seen. Dave had looked fine to her. He didn't look like he had been jumped. She couldn't help but wonder if this event occurred a while before her arrival and if this was just some old news. But the way his friends talked to him, she wondered if maybe he had just recovered from what happened.

And that was how the rest of her day went.

Dave, Todd, and Marty all waited outside for their new friend. It was weird for the boys. Girls never really found anything they did interesting. So when Valerie agreed to go to a comic shop with the three of them, they were ecstatic. Anytime Todd or Marty talked about Valerie, Dave would stay quiet to not bring attention to his beet-red face, but his friends knew. The rest of Dave’s day was full of his friends rubbing his newfound crush in his face.

When Valerie walked out of school with Katie, Dave's torture had just gotten worse. "Oooh, Dave!" Marty called out in a sing-song voice. Dave looked to where Marty and Todd were watching to see both of his crushes walking out together, and he knew that it would only be a matter of time before his friends started cracking jokes about it.

Dave heard laughing right next to him. “Dave must have a massive boner right now, don’t you, Dave?” Todd chuckled. Dave rolled his eyes and continued to watch the two girls socialize with each other. He watched as their heads slightly rolled back with laughter as they spoke about whatever they were speaking about.

“Hey Dave, you okay there?” Dave didn’t know who had just spoken, but it did bring him out of his trance. He turned towards his friends and saw the smirks that lay on their faces. Marty scoffed and said, “Damn, you’re hooked!”

Dave was going to say something but was cut off by Valerie walking toward them. “Hey fellas! How’s it going?” She said with a bright smile.

“We’re doin’ okay, beautiful. How about yourself?” Todd asked the girl. The girl blushed at the compliment. 

“It’s going well. Are you all ready to go?” The wind blew, causing Valerie’s hair to flow through the air. Dave watched the girl's hair lift up, revealing her pierced ears. It was only when Valerie turned to notice Dave’s brown curls blow past his face, that he noticed that he was staring. 

Valerie and Dave continued to stare at each other. “Oh- um- yeah, we can go,” Dave answers, nervously. Todd and Marty move their heads back and forth between the two, watching how they respond to each other before slowly leaving the two.

“You’re really pretty,” Dave subconsciously admitted. Valerie giggled and the boy, making him blush. “I have to say that you are just as much handsome,” She responded to his comment.

“I didn’t mean to say that.”

“Oh!” Valerie became sad at the thought of him being gay.

“No! No, not like that! I mean- you are very pretty, but-” Dave was cut off by Valerie.

“You’re gay. Is that it?” She asked.

She watched as Dave’s eyes furrowed in confusion. “What?”

“Well, everyone was telling me about how you were in this accident, and you were without clothes. They told me you were gay,” Valerie explained.

“What? That’s absurd! I’m not gay! If I was, I wouldn’t like you the way I do, now would I?” He scoffed.

Valerie was confused, “You like me- like me?”

Dave looked at the girl, nervously scratching his head. “Yeah,” he said sheepishly. Valerie blushed a dark shade of red. She stared the boy in the eye with a loving smile. “I like you too,” She smiled. 

Dave took one more second to look the girl in the eye before pulling her in for a kiss. The kiss deepened as Valerie kissed the boy back. Their lip moved in sync for a whole minute before they pulled away from each other. Once again, the two watched each other with loving eyes.

“Ahem!” someone sounded from beside them. Their attention broke away from one another and onto the one who made the sound. They turned to find Todd and Marty once again next to them with smiling smirks on their faces. “I knew it!” Todd yelled out. Marty hit his chest and said, “No you didn’t! You thought Dave was gay, just like I did.” He rolled his eyes. “Now, are you two coming or not?”

Dave looked at the beautiful girl next to him. He held out his arm and said, “Shall we, my beautiful princess.”

Valerie grabbed ahold of Dave’s arm, and gave him a nod of her head before saying, “We shall, my good prince.”

“Then we shall ride through the sunset together on a beautiful steed!”

“Wow, you really are a nerd,” Valerie said, making the four of them laugh as they made their way through the New York streets.

Taglist: @littlered6307

[nahoyaglock]

WHEN I STOP BREATHING..

pairings! ushijima x reader

summary! sitting on the beach, so close to each other they can hear each other’s heartbeats. They both smile and they watch the world end right in front of them, reminiscing on all they’ve been through together. Why does the end of the world look so beautiful?

genre! angst

word count! didnt bother actually counting so ill estimate maybe 2000+

warnings! end of the world, death, murder mention, slight ooc ushijima idk its the end of the world so pff

a/n! uh idk i wanna hurt people, sorry if this is bad i havent written in a while :p i feel like the beginning was really good, the middle was ass and the end was okay but hoh im happy enough w this. I also cried writing this ngl lmaoo also did not fix any errors so my bad

You knew it was coming, you both did. New reports, articles, it was trending on all social media platforms. It was unavoidable, what could you do but waste away your last few days, watching old shows you watched as a kid, harsh knocks and cries from your doors from friends and family. You couldnt face them, you just wanted to drown out the thought of what was coming the next few hours of the day.

You had woken up and sluggishly dragged yourself from the comfort of your bed to your dirty kitchen, littered with dirty dishes and some uneaten food that youd try to make, but didn't have the stomach to eat. Your phone rang atleast every hour or two, many unanswered calls and long voicemails you couldnt bother to listen to.

There was a knock on your door, and you sighed, not wanting to bother with facing the person at the door. You turned on your heels, about to head to your room when you heard the voice call out to you.

"y/n."

Out of all the people why did it have to be him. You bit your lip and let out shaky breaths. You took another step, freezing at another set of knocks. The last persom you wanted to see was your boyfriend.

"y/n let me in or ill tear this door down." His voice was stern, laced with seriousness and slight concern. You wanted to open it, let him in and crumble into his arms, but it hurt so bad.

"Go away." You spoke, loud enough to be heard through the door, but not loud enough to be a yell.

"y/n."

You hesitantly walked to the door, unlocking the bottom lock, the top lock remaining unlocked, too bothersome for you to have delt with anyways. At the sound of the click of the locks he opened the door with quick motions, while also being careful not to knock you over.

At the sight of his big frame you felt like the world had just stabbed you through the chest 28 times. You backed up with quick steps are your boyfriend reached out to hug you, scared that his touch would break down your facade. You tripped over your own feet, landing hard on your butt.

"Ush.. Ushijima," you started, not knowing exactly what you were trying to say, "Please dont touch me."

His heart sank when he saw you, lifeless and so frail. He guessed you havent been getting much sleep- or maybe too much sleep, and not eating as he took a quick glance towards the food littered kitchen counter.

It wasnt any better for you, seeing your normally cold and calm boyfriend with a worried expression and eye bags that made it obvious he hasnt got much sleep either.

You pull yourself up, your eyes boring through your boyfriends abdomen as you bit your lip, trying to think of what to say, and to also keep yourself from falling apart. "What do you want?"

"y/n. Dont be cold to me." It wasnt a question, but it wasnt a demand. "Sorry," you mumbled, leaving you two in silence for a while.

"Ushi, you should go home," you said, feeling your heart race, every second you spent in his presence, under his gaze, killed you. "You should call Tendou or something."

"Toshi." He said, making your head shoot up, looking him in his eyes, seeing a tear roll down his cheek, his face remaining mostly emotionless, fear slightly present in his eyes. "Please keep calling me Toshi."

You felt a pang in your heart, suddenly the reality of things hitting you. You were the only one going through this, you knew this but never gave it more than a mere thought. He was scared, he didnt know what he was doing, he just knew to find comfort in you, like youve told him to for many years into your relationship.

"Toshi," you breathed, reaching up to wipe the tear from his cheek, "Toshi lets go somewhere."

You never felt the need to go outside, wanting to be isolated, but being here with your boyfriend, you felt like running away, wanting to escape from the dark pit of your home. "Lets go to the beach"

"y/n–"

"Lets go. Lets go, right.. right now Toshi," you felt as if though youve felt shoked by lightning, like you suddenly got hit with some sugar rush.

"We dont have time–"

"We do Toshi, we do, we do," you saw the corner of his lips raise up into a small smile. He hated seeing you like this but he was glad you were more alive than you were minutes before. You knew this, what he was thinking, and you knew his smile had so much sadness behind it, "we have time, lets go, lets go!"

You grabbed his hand and dragged him out of your apartment, not bothering to change from your days out clothing or close the door behind you. It wouldnt matter in another hour anyways.

The ride there was mostly silent, songs playing quietly on the radio. You watched as you passed through the town, the streets were slightly empty, stores looked run down, some stores even tore up and empty.

"Has it been like this since.. since the announcement?" You mumbled, earning a hum for Ushijima.

"Yeah, yeah it has." He knew that you didnt go out, and he was slightly grateful for it. The world went to shit after the announcement, many lootings, murders and other various crimes being commited.

"Im glad your safe Toshi," you spoke into your palm.

"Im glad your safe too."

The ride went on in silence until you got to the beach. You both climbed out of the car, the beautiful blue sea sparkling under the sunny sky. It was funny how such a depressing day could look so so beautiful.

"Hmm, this is the beach we went to with the team our senior year, remember?" He asked and turned to face you. The fear in his eyes was much more evident in the light, along with signs of personal neglict. He hasnt been taking good care of himself either.

You walk around the front of the car to grab his hand, your small hands tracing light circles on his rough palms before linking your hands together, giving him a comforting squeeze. "I remember."

He let out a shaky breath he didnt know he was holding in, and you two found a nice spot on the beach to sit and watch the sky. "Toshi, do you remember the time goshiki got gummy bears stuck in his nose?"

He looked at you, and his face softened, "yeah. Yeah i do." He let out a small chuckle at the thought of his old teammates. "Do you remember when Tendou took my water bottle and filled it with really sour lemonade?" He asked, you could hear his voice unravel into a more comfortable tone, instead of one holding in so much hurt and fear.

"Ha, i actually helped him with that you know?" You spoke up, a small grin on your lips as your boyfriend grabbed your waist, pulling you closer to him. "We'll its okay, because it was 2 years ago."

It had been 2 years. 2 years since you had become shiratorizawas manager, 2 years since you made the number 1 ace fall head over heels for you, 2 years since you had went on your first date with him.

"2 years, its been so long." You laid your head on Ushijimas arm, feeling tired. He wrapped his arm around your shoulders and placed a kiss atop your head.

"Thats when we first started dating," you spoke, shoulders shaking with a small laugh, "i would've never imagined to have the nations number 1 ace fall so madly in love with me." You laughed and turned to your boyfriend to continue your teasing, but stopped when you saw him looking back at you.

He couldn't respond with anything more than a mere chuckle, tears now streaming down his cheeks. You bit your lip, scooting closer to him so you were in his lap, wrapping your arms around his large stature.

"Toshi, I love you." It was no more than a whisper and he placed a warm, loving kiss to your temple, rubbing your back softly as he let out a shaky laugh.

"y/n god, you make it so hard not to cry." He whispered in an unstable tone, resting his head atop yours. "I love you too."

This was how it was, clinging to the other and sharing old tales of your days spent with Ushijima and the boys, tales of times tendou had snuck out of the dorms and got caught by washijou, or when goshiki cut his bangs too short, or how Ushijima brought your parents a half eaten watermelon as a gift.

Those last moments spent with laughs and tears, kisses and hugs, warmth and comfort, those were your best memories. Despite the fate to cross you, Ushijima and everyone else in the world, you felt like you could smile for the first time.

You would smile alot, but it felt different this time. You convinced yourself that it was just because you had been withering away for the past days, but you knew it was because you felt free.

You had no worries in the moment with your lover, you didnt need to think about getting up for work the next day, or how you would afford next months rent. You felt like the largest weight had been lifted off of you, and you could really smile for the first time.

There was a slightly rumble if the ground that had made you and Ushijima go silent. You pulled away from your spot in the crook of his neck to look at him, fear still in his eyes.

"I dont wanna die," he chuckled out, "but im not sad." He drew small shapes into your hips with his thumbs, looking onto your laps instead of your face, and you just stared at him.

His usually stoic face was calmed, relaxed, his jaw unclenched and his eyes soft. You hadnt seen so many emotions from your boyfriend so much, it was almost scary. But he looked so gorgeous, he was your world.

"Wakatoshi Ushijima, you know," your placed your hands on both sides of his face, "it doesnt matter what happens to this world, because," you placed a passionate kiss to his lips, the tears finally falling from your eyes, "you, you're my world Toshi."

He let out a noise that was similar to a choke, tears rolling down the apple of his cheeks as he placed his forehead to yours, letting his shoulders shake with hard sobs. Loud crashes, screams and car alarms had let you know it was coming, the end of the world.

The last thing you saw was Ushijima, smiling snd crying, mouthing out one last 'I love you'.

Why does the end of the world look so beautiful?

© tomura-heart — all rights reserved. reposting, modifying, or copying is not allowed. do not translate. do not read my writing as asmr. do not plagiarize.

[shatar-aethelwynn]

Sometimes I feel like to leave this country or at least texas due to it feeling like we are kinda going down but i dont wanna leave everyone i now and i just feel sad

I think a lot of people are feeling this way right now no matter where they're from. All we can do is do our best and hope. Don't be afraid to turn off tech for a bit and just breath. Go outside. Take a walk, or a run if the anxiety is particularly bothersome. Sit and watch the clouds and listen to the birds if you're somewhere that that's possible. Watch children's movies because they have happy endings and aren't usually so dark. Try to just sit and focus on breathing deeply for five minutes while letting your mind go where it pleases without any goal in mind, just drift. Maybe lay on the floor in the dark while you do so. Make something for no reason other than to create, no matter how simple. Its easy to feel so overwhelmed, hopeless and useless when we see everything going on right now. It's awful. It really really is. But there are still good people fighting for better, and for some people, yes, that fight is physical. It seems like there are times and places where we can't do anything. This feeling is normal. And despite that it is ok to make time for simple pleasures while you have the ability to do so. No one can exist in a state of constant distress for long, so don't force yourself to. Those of us with anxiety have to be especially careful not to let the brain's screaming overwhelm us during these times. As for moving, sometimes just moving a town or two over helps, sometimes you really do need to get far enough away to start over. That's something only you can decide. Keep yourself safe. Try to find something that can help your brain decompress. Schedule some time during the week where you can deliberately disconnect from the internet for a bit and allow yourself to enjoy something, anything, for a bit. Up here in the snowy north getting outside for a walk is just not happening, but sometimes its nice to sit by the window and just watch the birds and clouds and do nothing for a few minutes. But most of all remember, you are not alone. I know the brain is a liar and it feels like it sometimes, but you aren't.

[toplinetommy]

Four Times You Ask Travis to Fill In + The One Time He Asks You

Words: 3.4k

Warnings: language, a guy being a dick in the first part

a/n: literally got inspo from this out of nowhere and sat down to write it after a two 8 hour work days, pls dont hesitate to give me feedback!

one

“You want a refill?” Travis asks you as he sees you stirring your straw in your now empty glass. 

“Yes, please!” You answer, smile on your face.

“The usual?” He double checks, regarding the light yellow liquid that was previously in your cup. You nod your head yes and he walks away through the crowd towards the bar.

As you wait, you pull out your phone to check your Snapchat as you lean against the wall where your small group was formed. 

As you switch to texting your roommate back, you feel a much larger presence that couldn’t possibly be Travis. You offer the large stranger a soft smile as you turn your full attention back to your phone. 

“Do I know you from somewhere?” The man asks, making you turn to him to fully take his appearance in.

You roll your eyes as you look at him, clearly not knowing him and clearly figuring out that the statement was just a line. “I don’t think so.”

“You sure? I feel like we’ve had to have met before. I’d remember someone as pretty as you,” The guy smirks, taking a step closer to you.

You roll your eyes once more at the comment before turning your attention towards the bar across the room. The dim lighting of the bar combined with the overcrowding made it difficult for you to find your best friend. 

“And I think I’d remember a guy that used that lame of a pick-up line.” You clap back, a tight lipped smile falling on your face once you’re done speaking. You go back to your phone, trying your best to get the guy to take the hint that you’re not interested. Instead, he doesn’t, and he begins speaking yet again.

“You’re sassy, I like that.” He says, his gaze moving from your eyes down the rest of your body. The path of his gaze is painfully obvious to you as you try not to gag at both his actions and his attempts at flirting. He moves his hand to place it on his waist and the second you feel it, you’re shoving him off of you.

You turn your body once again to see if any of your friends notice the situation you’re in. All of them are either in their own worlds or out on the dancefloor, so you start looking for Travis who you still can’t find in the large crowd. 

However, the shove doesn't stop him as he moves towards you again, closer than he was before. He starts to crowd you closer to the wall before a warm hand grabs you and Travis is suddenly between you and the stranger.

“Aye, you better not be hitting on my girl.” He interrupts, linking your fingers with his and fully placing his body in front of yours, blocking you from the much taller man. 

“You better keep your girl in check then, man, she was all over me.” The stranger counters, puffing his chest trying to intimidate Travis.

“My girl wasn’t flirting with you. She can do whatever she wants anyways.” He shrugs, puffing out his smaller, but still broad chest. The stranger finally takes the hint and walks away, making sure to shove Travis as he turns.

“Thank you for that. I barely even talked to him but he wouldn’t leave me alone.” You thank Travis, once he turns back towards you. He hands you your drink before pulling your head into your chest, rubbing the back of your head in comfort.

“You’re okay,” He assures you, pulling away to look at your facial expression.

two

“Hey, you know that Luke Combs concert I bought tickets to, like, months ago?” You ask Travis, sitting down at his island as he moves towards the fridge to get a bottle of water out. He shuts the fridge before turning around and leaning against it. “Yeah? You’re supposed to go with Rilee, right?”

“That’s the thing,” You start. “She was supposed to go with me but I guess her boyfriend is having surgery so she has to be there for that.” 

Travis takes a gulp of his water as he listens closely to your predicament. “So what are you gonna do?” He swallows.

“Well,” you start, the pitch in your voice higher than normal. It’s the same voice you use with him everytime you ask him for a favor and you can tell he knows as he dramatically sets his water bottle down on the counter and throws his baseball hat covered head back. “I was thinking you could come instead. I already checked your game schedule and you don’t have a game and you’ll be in town!” You exclaim. 

Travis just looks at you silently as you speak. Your body is leaning over the island you’re sitting at, trying to get more of his attention and trying to make him understand how big of a deal it is to you.

“You know how much I love him! Please!” You beg further.

“What day is it exactly? I’ll make sure to clear my schedule.” Travis agrees, pulling his phone out of his pocket to double check his calendar. A squeak leaves your mouth and you jump out of your seat, running to him to give him a hug. You kiss his cheek loudly, leaving a wet spot on his cheek and mutter another thank you.

“Yuck.” Travis groans, wiping the slightly wet spot off of his cheek, a smile still covering his face contradicting his verbal discomfort of your actions. 

Pulling away from him, you move a step back opening the fridge to grab a drink for yourself. “You love country music, you can’t not have fun.” You argue, as you close the fridge, staring him down as you do so.

three

Thanksgiving was just right around the corner, which in Philadelphia meant the full effects of Fall were coming out. The streets were littered with orange leaves, pumpkin spice lattes were at all of your favorite coffee shops, and football and hockey was back in full force. 

It also meant the dreaded yearly company dinner your office had around this time. You were one of the younger people working at your office, which meant you didn’t fully immerse yourself into the office culture, and instead only talked to people directly in the same department.

“So, it’s almost American Thanksgiving.” Travis remarks, looking at you writing things down on the calendar that’s stuck to your refrigerator. 

You turn to your friend, hand still writing, “do you know what you’re doing yet?” 

“We have games the day before and the day after, so I’ll probably just go to Haysie’s place since you’re going home.” He shrugs.

“That doesn’t sound too bad. What sounds bad is my drive home and seeing people I haven’t seen in forever asking me the same million questions.” You say, capping your pen and placing it on the countertop next to you. “I also have a company dinner the weekend before, which really doesn’t sound fun.”

“Why?” Travis laughs. He knows you love your job so he’s confused as to why you don’t think you’ll have a fun time. 

“For starters, the company is way larger than you think it is so it’ll be a fuck ton of people. Secondly, I only talk to the people in my department and everyone is significantly older than me.” You explain.

“Do you have to go?” He further questions.

“I don’t think so, but they’ll know if I’m not there.” You shrug, “Think of it like all those dinners you have to do with the Flyers. You could not show up but it wouldn’t be a good idea.”

“Ahh, I see, okay, yeah, and if it’s anything like mine, it seems like they’ll be stuffy.”

“Exactly.” you point, moving to sit next to him at the kitchen table. “And, I’m pretty sure all of the people I’m friends with are bringing their significant others.” 

He nods his head at your complaints, thinking of positives to bring up about why the dinner will in fact be fun.

“Unless,” You start, dragging out the end of the word which fully grabs Travis’ attention as he sets his beer down to the table. “Do you want to come with? You can be my entertainment for the night!” You suggest, hint of begging in your tone. 

Travis stares at your suggestion dumb-founded, “What.” The stiff tone in his voice makes it seem like he’s not even asking a question, and is instead stating a fact. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

“What do you mean? It’s a perfect idea!” You clap your hands together before they start moving frantically as you continue to ramble. “You already have a suit, you probably won’t have a game, you’re already used to talking to those fancy people!”

“You should bond with the people you work with.” Travis counters.

“I can still do that if you’re there.” You state, putting on your best puppy dog eyes. 

You stare him down and you can see him start to crack before he responds, “Fine, but if more than five people ask me about what being an NHLer is like, I’m ditching you.”

four

A loud groan leaves your mouth as you walk back into your apartment, a stack of mail in your hands and a confused Travis sitting on your couch. He looks up from his phone with knitted eyebrows, silently asking you what the groan was for.

You set the stack of mail down on the table by your front door before tossing him a pristine white envelope with neat, black handwriting on the outside. “Who’s Emma?” He asks, handing the mail back to you. 

You begin opening the envelope as you speak. “You know that one girl in my sorority that I would constantly complain about?” He nods his head, urging you to go on. “I saw a while ago that she got engaged on Instagram and I guess she’s inviting me to the wedding.”

“Literally who gets married in the winter anyways?!” You groan dramatically, setting your full weight into the couch next to your friend. 

Travis laughs next to you at your dramatic body movement before he turns to you.”So?” He asks, somewhat confused at your groaning. 

“Why would you want to get married in Philly when it’s below freezing? Like who wants to do that!” You complain.

“You know you just don't have to go?” Travis suggests with raised eyebrows. Another groan passes your lips at your oblivious friend.

“I can’t just not go! She was my roommate when I lived in the sorority house.” You state in a straightforward tone. 

“When is it?” Travis questions further.

You toss him the formal invitation, “Early December.” 

He reads over the invitation before looking up to you to hand it back to you. As he reaches his hand to hand it over, a light bulb goes off in your head.

“Oh no.” Travis starts.

“You can come with!” You suggest excitedly.

“No, you don’t need an NHL player crashing your friend’s wedding.” He argues.

“Oh yes, I do.” You argue back, voice stern. The two of you stare one another down for what feels like minutes before Travis finally caves and agrees to go with you.

--

“See what I mean?” You start turning to look at Travis. “It’s fucking freezing why whould you want to get married in this? There’s literally snow on the ground.” You complain, gesturing to the inches of snow surrounding the sidewalks as you walk from the ceremony to the reception.

Travis wraps his arm around your shoulder, rubbing your arm to try and give you some sort of warmth. It isn’t as successful as you want it to be, but you appreciate the gesture as you lean into his warmer side.

“It’s not fair though, you get to wear an overcoat and still look nice. If I put on my winter coat I would like a marshmallow.” You scoff, causing loud laughter to erupt from Travis.

“You know damn well you wouldn’t look like a marshmallow.” He starts in between fits of laughter. “And, besides, your sexy legs would take away from your marshmallow-ness.” He jokes poking at the bottom of your thigh where you dress ended and the bareness of your legs started.

A light blush comes to your cheeks and your stomach tightens as you scoff at his comment and push him away jokingly.

You guys walk the rest of the short distance to the reception in quiet chills before finally finding your seats. You had to admit the wedding so far had been beautiful, even if you had a slight distaste for the bride herself.

You’re still sat after the both of you finish your meals, the both of you taking a break before joining the dancefloor again. 

“Not too bad, eh?” Travis questions you. His arm is resting comfortably over the back of your chair not quite directly landing over your shoulders. You turn your attention from the large mass on the dancefloor to Travis before answering, “Yeah, better than I thought it would be. I’ve gotten to see a lot of people from college I haven’t seen in a while.” A good chunk of your sorority sisters had also been in attendance as well as a few other people you recognized as Emma’s close friends.

He nods his head slightly before you ask him if he too is enjoying his evening. “Of course, it’s an excuse to hang with you and get you to dance without begging.” He remarks. “Speaking of, I think it’s time to go out-dance everyone out there.” He stands up, offering his hand for you to grab. You take a hold of his hand as you stand up and follow him to the middle of the room where the dancefloor was located.

The two of you dance for a while, and by two of you, it’s Travis dancing like an idiot while you kind of just bounce and sing to the songs. A slower song comes on and you turn away from Travis, intending to make your way back to your seats. Instead, Travis stops you, pulling your body flush against his as he rests his hands on the small of your back. “Not so fast there, killer,” He smiles, looking down at your face. 

You slowly move your hands to his shoulders, playing with the ends of his hair with one hand. “You should really get a haircut soon.” You chirp, knowing all too well he won’t cut it just because you told him to. He playfully rolls his eyes at your joke and lets the two of you dance to the song in silence. 

As the song ends you begin to slightly pull away from him. “Thanks for filling in as my date today, Travis. I know you get your fair share of weddings in the offseason.”

“You know I don’t mind, y/n” He replies as the music completely cuts out before the next one starts.

You leave a soft kiss on his cheek before you’re pulled away by a few of your friends you haven’t been able to say hi to yet.

plus one

Your phone starts to ring, pulling your attention from your computer. Picking it up you see Travis’ face covering the screen so you answer it.

“Y/n!” He cheers loudly into the phone, causing you to erupt in a giggle. “Have you checked Instagram in like the past five minutes?”

“No?” You answer, infliction in your voice. You move your phone away from your ear, putting it on speaker before opening the Instagram app. “I’ve been pretty busy at work today.” 

“Well, look!” He says, just as loudly. You scroll on your feed, trying to find what Travis is silently asking you to look for. You still don’t know what he’s talking about and you open your mouth to ask him and that’s when you see it.

“Holy shit!” You exclaim, liking the post by the Philadelphia Flyers. You read the caption a few more times as the news settles in. “You’re an all star!”

“I’m an all star, baby!” He repeats back to you. Your smile widens even more hearing the excitement in your best friend’s voice. “Chuck pulled me aside before practice this morning.” He explains. 

“Congratulations Teeks,” You compliment. “I’m really proud of you. You’ve been working your ass off all season for something like this.” 

“Thank you, y/n, means a lot.” He starts, a softness in his tone replacing his previous excitement. “I’ll let you get back to work, though.” He finishes.

“Want to celebrate after your game?” You suggest. “I can come over and bring some food?” 

“Sounds perfect. See ya later.”

“Good luck tonight! I’ll talk to you soon.” You conclude, hanging up.

--

You knock on Travis’ front door before opening it and letting yourself in, announcing your presence. You go to set the bag of take out and the bottle of wine you brought over for the occasion onto his island before you see him emerge from his bedroom hallway.

Once you see him you smile and run over to him, tackling him in a hug. “Congratulations!” You shriek with glee. Your arms wrap tightly around his neck as he wraps his tightly around your torso, slightly lifting your body off the ground.

“Thank you!” He cheers once he pulls away from you.

“I brought Five Guys and some wine to celebrate,” You start, leading him back towards his kitchen island. “I thought you could ditch your diet for one night.”

Your joke causes Travis to let out a chuckle as he closely examines the bottle of wine you brought. Instead of opening it or even pulling out the to-go containers from the bag, he leans against the island turning to look at you.

There’s an unreadable softness in his eyes which has you confused. Not only did he find out that he was going to be an NHL all-star at such a young age, the Flyers had also won their game that night, so he should at least be filled with glee.

“What’s up?” You ponder from across the spacious kitchen.

“Just thinking about everything I guess, everything it took to get here.” The sudden turn from Travis’ normal cheerfulness to openly talking about his emotions has you even more confused. He looks into your eyes from where he stands and holds out his arms, leaning towards you to pull you closer.

“Like, you’ve been here when we were dog shit - when I was dog shit, and now you’re here.” He starts. He’s holding both your hands now, lightly rubbing his thumbs on the back of them. He looks down at your joined hands before continuing. “Like, I feel like I’m in a dream, like how the hell am I an all-star?”

“Because you’re an amazing hockey player Travis, and the league knows that.” You comfort him, taking a step closer to him. It feels as if the air around is lighter as you look into his eyes and feel his body closer to yours than it normally is.

He stays quiet a little while longer, glancing at your mouth every so often. “I was thinking today, you should come with me to St. Louis, eh?” He suggests, pulling your body so that your thighs are touching his. His rough hands disconnect from your hands, as he places one on your waist and the other on the junction of your jaw.

Your mouth slightly drops open at his suggestion, “Don’t families just go? And like girlfriends?”

“Yeah, that’s kinda what I’m getting around to asking you.” He whispers, head leaning in towards yours. His mouth is millimeters away from yours, and you’re sure he can feel your deep breathing on his face. “I kinda like, really like you.”

“So, you’re asking me out then?” You question, your hands moving to the back of his neck where his longer hair rests.

“I mean, I kinda thought all those times you asked me to go to those things where dates,” He shrugs, his nose brushing against yours. “I was hoping we could skip that part and you could just be my girlfriend, yeah?” 

Your eyes momentarily move from his, down to his mouth, and back up to his eyes before you respond in a whisper, “Yeah.”

That’s all it takes for Travis to close the small gap between the two of you as his mouth moves against yours softly.

[too-much-sunshine]

Fangs for the Hospitality

Chapter 7

Fic Summary: After Roman leaves his family reunion mad at Remus, his car breaks down. The huge snow storm forces him into the forest hes always been told to stay away from. Who will he meet? And why are they being so nice? Most importantly, why are his teeth so sharp?

A/N: I’m so very sorry this chapter took so long to come out…Life happens my guys gals and nonbinary pals.... Ill try and be better!

Relationship: Familial DAM, Eventual Roceit, Eventual Intrulogical

Warnings (per chapter): Roman has social anxiety, he is awkward, food (Let me know if anything else!)

Catch up!:  Master list, Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5, Chapter 6

Word Count: 2546

Read on AO3!

Patton and Virgil finished their food first; Patton grabbing both their plates from the table and bringing them into the kitchen. Little Virgil hurried off his chair to follow after him.

Roman watched the two go with a small smile. He remembers how he and his brother used to be that close. 

Flinching slightly remembering the newest memory he has of his brother, he looked down and away from the boys. He ended up staring at his plate which he had only half eaten. He was starting not to feel as hungry anymore.

“Eat up dear, we have a big day in front of us." Janus chimed in.

Roman jumped slightly and looked up to the man who spoke. Janus picked up his wine glass and took a drink. Roman just now realized that Janus never had a plate of food to begin with.

"Aren't you going to eat something too?" He enquired.

"Oh no I've already eaten. Before I fixed you guys' breakfast to make sure it all went smoothly." Janus smiled, taking another sip.

"Oh...alright.." Roman looked back down frowning at his food. He felt dumb for asking, even though it wasnt an ovious answer. His stomach was turning a bit pushing the food around. He didn't want to seem wasteful or ungrateful, but he knew that his anxiety wouldn't let him finish what he had. Luckily the decision on what to do was made for him.

An arm came around Roman and picked up his plate for him. Startled, Roman looked behind himself to see Janus standing there holding Romans plate. He was so quiet Roman didn't even realise he had gotten up.

"It's okay if you don't want the rest, sweetheart. You seem to have been through a lot."

Blushing slightly Roman just nodded his head, avoiding eye contact.

"Yeah sorry...I'm just not..okay right now." He responded weakly.

"Let's clean up a bit and I'll send the kids to play. Then we can talk a bit." Janus said over his shoulder while walking Roman's plate to the kitchen.

Roman didn't respond since it didn't sound like a question. He just crossed his arms and laid his head on the table. 'This is going to be tough…' he thought as Janus came back into the room with Virgil on hip. 

~~~

Remus woke up with a startle, which was quite usual. He didn't ever really sleep that well. Constant nightmares and his lanky figure made it impossible to ever get comfortable anyway.

It also didn't help that Remy just poured a glass of cold water on his head.

"What the fuck!?" Remus shouted jumping up from the couch he was on, shivering as water dripped down his spine. Wait, couch? 

"Bitch. Wake up." He said monotone. "You were like. Twitching and shit. Not a good look."

"Yeah, thanks. I'm sure there was no better way to wake me up.” Remus pulled his shirt over his head and squeezed out as much water as he could. There wasn't much there, but it was a statement. Remy looked at Remus with disgust as he put his shirt back on. 

“Remind me where am I again? What time is it? It's not the first time I've woken up in a random apartment but it's been a while. Much less with my cousin...wrong state for that I believe..." He rambled, pushing his wet hair out of his face. He looked around for his phone while Remy went around the back on the couch to the kitchen area.

"First of all, disgusting. Never say that to me again. And second, Its around 6am. Which is usually too god damn early for anyone. But, you're lucky I like you and Roman." He said, grabbing a mug from the dark wood cabinet. "Oh also you are in my apartment so dont fuck shit up please."

Remus lifted his head from looking under the couch. He tilted his head to the side like a confused puppy, blinking around the room. He stood up and walked around a the table to the center of the room to see pretty much everything there is. 

"Your apartment? I thought you lived in like...a mansion with your parents." 

The place was actually quite small. A connected half kitchen and living room. Small tv on a small stand behind a coffee table in front of the light brown couch. There seemed to be two rooms off to the side, but the doors were closed. There was one window in the kitchen, and that was it. A few movie posters were on the wall and nick knacks but otherwise the place looked...normal. it wasn't very fancy, which is the opposite of what Remus expected.

"This is my secret apartment. The one where I go when I don't want to worry about being me. Don't tell anyone, you're lucky I let you be here!" Remy snapped.

Remus continued to look around but said nothing more, feeling that he had crossed a line somewhere.

Remy let out a long sigh and stopped making his drink. With his back turned to Remus he spoke again.

"Look.. I'm sorry. It's been a long night and now it's going to be a long day. I'm tired. Your phone is under the couch by the way."

"What? I looked there,” He said as he dropped back to his knees to check again, “ and It's fine. Just. Why are we worried ag-" and like a flip was switched, all the memories of last night flooded Remus' brain and he snapped up with his phone in hand. "ROMAN! have you found him? Where could he be!?" Remus raced into the kitchen, running into Remy. 

"Did you call anyone!? God he must be so mad! I'm the worst!" Remus continued pacing the room.

"Calm down! Of course I've called everywhere! But havent had any luck! It's only 6am so I couldn't call his work but I will when I can. I thought before then we could drive the way he went. See if he went home at all. The front desk at his apartment said they didn't see him come in last night but they could have missed him. It'll be a drive to get back to the countryside but we can make it. Here babe." He handed Remus a canister. "Its coffee. In the god awful way you like it."

"OoOooO thanks!" Remus said, taking a swig of the chocolaty, sweet coffee. "So. Are we gonna start with his apartment first?" 

"I think it's closer to here and the most likely place he is, yeah let's start there. But listen babes. He might be real mad still so don't push him alright?"

"I'm really worried, Remy. And I'm not usually like this...he's not usually mad like that either...I know I messed but ughhhhhh! Let's just go find him before I explode all over your nice, secret walls okay?"

"Gross hun... let's just go." Remy said, grabbing the keys hanging by the front door.

With that Remus followed Remy out to the hall of the building. After locking the door they took the elevator to Remy's car, but not the nice one he took last night.

"Where did this come from?" Remus asked, taking a seat on the passenger side.

"Last night I borrowed my dad's car and drove them there. But we took a carpool home. I told them I wanted to go out longer and they didn't question." Remy responded by turning the ignition key. "This car was the first I bought with only money I made. It's a piece of shit. And I love it." He finished pulling out of the parking space and turning onto the busy road.

Remus looked around the car. It seemed normal by any standard. Kinda small, a little dirty but it looked taken care of. Remus would have never have expected Remy to want to live like this. To each their own he supposed. It must be nice, he supposed, not having to keep up a facade all the time...

 "I had to do some research but I found where Roman lived. Have you ever been there? I haven't, so I might be wrong on the address." Remy broke Remus' train of thought.

Remus had to think on this question for a second, to restart his brain. Had he? He never really questioned it. He'd been to many of Romans homes before but had he been to this one? He couldn't recall..

"I don't think so but if the front desk recognized his name then he must live there."

"Yeah...that's what I thought too.." Remy said slightly nervously. He started tapping his fingers on the wheel as he drove.

"Why are you acting like that?"

"Like what?"

"Like weird.."

"I don't think I know what you mean.." Remy said ignoring Remus' tone.

"Listen dude what's up…" 

"I just...this isn't the best area of town. I live in my apartment about 75% of the time to escape my parents. I know this town, along with the areas to avoid. I was hoping I was wrong and he lived somewhere else. But let's just go there and make sure he's alright. Alright?"

"Alright.." Remus ended.

The rest of the ride was quiet as Remus just looked out the window. He had never been to this part of the main town before. He knew that there was a...not so great part of town. Every town has that. But this place looked run down. Old.

Most of the buildings seemed empty. Junk was thrown on the sidewalks, forgotten about. The road and sidewalks were cracked. The people walking around looked dull. It was hard to believe that this is the same town Remus lived in, just a different part of it. A part that Roman lived in…

Remus laid back in his seat staring forward as Remy pulled into a parking lot.

"Welp. We're here..I think. I'm actually quite surprised this place has a front desk at all if I'm being honest.. let's go. I'll ask which apartment is his." Remy encouraged.

Slowly Remus got out of the car and together they walked into the old building.

There was a front desk, surprisingly. Even more surprising was that there was a person behind it. 

There was a short lady behind the desk reading a very worn book. She had snow white hair and dark brown skin. He had both laugh and frown lines in her face. She looked as if she watched them build the whole town.

Remy took a deep breath and walked up to the desk and started to talk.

"Hi my name is Remy and I believe we talked on the phone late last night. We are looking for my cousin Roman. Do you know the apartment number?"

The woman didn't look up from her book, so, thinking she might not have heard him he awkwardly tried to speak up again. 

"Umm...excuse me…? He said a bit louder" 

Still, nothing. Remus shrugged his shoulders when Remy looked over to him.

"Don't look at me! I don't know what to do!" Remus whisper-shouted.

"Bish! You work with people! I don't! Talk to her!" He whispered back.

"Ugh! That's not how it works bitch!"

“I’m sure it helps!”

"Will you two shut up?!" Someone yelled. "This book is just getting good and you two are ruining it!"

Remy and Remus snapped their heads over the voice coming from behind the desk. The old woman was scowling at them harshly. 

"Sorry ma'am. Just looking for our friend. Which apartment is Roman Kingsleys?" Remy questioned quickly.

"Oh Roman?” The womens face opened up into a long smile. “What a sweet boy," her demeanor completely changed as if she was talking about a lifelong friend. "He didn't come home last night...probably at the theater, still. Poor boy. Always working. He's in 103 on the second floor. But I doubt he's home. I've been here all day. It wouldn't be the first time he's fallen asleep on stage" She let out a laugh that sounded like a mix between a window being wiped and a cackle.

After recovering slightly from the whiplash they just got from the woman, they thanked her and turned to walk to the stairs.

"Hold on now!" she stalked after them. They both froze in place. "Why do the likes of you want to go to his house? I can't just let anyone in!" She stopped right next to Remus. She barely came up to his shoulder, yet she was still terrifying. 

"I'm his brother! And this is his cousin! We are just here to say hi…" Remus uttered quickly. He didn't know why this woman made him so anxious. His family was 100 times scarier yet this woman shook him up. Something in the back of Remus' brain told him it was about threat vs action but he ignored that. 

"You better not be lying! That boy is the nicest person to walk in this hellhole." She sneered.

"No ma'am! Just here to see him!" Remy countered. "I-if you don't mind me asking though, how long has he lived around here?"

"Some cousin and brother you are if you don't know where he lives!" She laughed. Remy and Remus shuffled nervously in place. "He's lived here for about…. Ohh going on 3 years now? I think. He always tried to brighten this place up with flowers whenever he could. Recently though he's been  staying inside more. Poor child. I miss his humor. Tell him to come down here if he's up there! Give him a piece of my mind!" She finished as she stomped back to her desk, picking up her book and sitting in place, as if she never moved.

Remy and Remus smartly decided not to comment further. They continued their walk to the stairs. Each step was a bit wobbly but since there was no elevator, they had no choice. Though, judging by the look of things, they wouldn't have trusted the elevator anyway.

The walls had long straggling cracks going in each direction. At one point it looked like the walls might have been painted a baby blue or a similar shade. But years of no upkeep has left it looking grey at best. Cobwebs were strung up as if it was halloween decorations. The air smelled old and musty. The faint sound of dripping water could be heard from seemingly anywhere in the building. Yet it was eerily quiet as the boys approached Roman's apartment.

His door didn't stand out among the rest, which made Remus sad for some reason. He remembered when he would insist in the house that his door be painted a deep red color. Not it was just...bland. 

They both arrived at the door and stopped. They looked at each not quite knowing who should do what. Finally Remus had had enough and spoke up.

"What the fuck are we doing!? This is dumb. This trepidation is dumb! This isn't some horror fantasy bullshit! Let's go!" He shouted reaching for Roman's door handle. Slightly surprising both Remus and Remy, it opened.

Shaking the surprise off Remus busts through the door. 

"ROMAN! GET YO BITCH ASS UP!"

Taglist (ask to tag!):

@primaveradoodles @bluerosesbleedred

[shyrose57]

Part 2 with da angst

2: Young Ranbob did not understand at all what was going on, infact he refused to believe he ever had anything to do with the sabotages, it was only when Dream took over completely and gave Ranbob enough of his mind to know what he was doing, did he finally accept it. He tried and tried to break Dreams control and get control of his body back, but nothing he did ever really worked, and the more he tried Dream eventually began to punish him, forcing him to stop. He felt aboustely awful, like a failure, a murder, and just a shitty person during all of this. His journal shows basically all of his mental decline, it went from normal, him recording special things during the day, to semi-normal, him expression concern and fear over the sabotages and killings (with some out of place words or sentences here and there appearing half way through, showing Dreams presence), to recordings from someone with obvious mental distress (misspelled words, extreme fear, showing fear of himself, hasty writings and drawings, very obviously out of place sentences (their neater than the rest and written differently, written by Dream), and meaningless words and sentences, obviously trying to say something but not knowing how too), all they way to flipping entries of when Ranbob is in control (sadness, despair, hasitly done, regret, and just heavy sentences) to when Dream is in control (Neat writing, stating "facts", showing a level of glee). Ranbob does still have it, he actually still uses it to record what happens in the groups and how far he's come. To the Gladiators its more of a "Hey I found this thing, lets read this thing." "No let's not read the thing." "Im going to ignore you and read it anyway.". The pictures are from the current ruined state of the City of Mizu, and pictures showing Ranbob at the fishermens house, struggling to walk and even eat on his own, though a few are from before Dream ever got a hold of Ranbob. 

3: The way you just said "Causally drops some trauma on them, huh?" And "Traumatized gremlins" made me laugh so much. Its so accurate and made me just think of the brothers vibing toghere before I just pop in and drop tons of trauma on them before dipping. "Ah, damn, the opponent stared me in my chest." "WHY ARE YOU SO CALM ABOUT THIS!? YOUR BLEEDING OUT!" "Oh im used to this. Trust me I'll survive...probably." "RAN I SWEAR!". And "Ranbob when did you last eat?" "Uhhh, 2 days ago I think." "..." "D-did I eat too soon? I dont have to eat for another day or two max-" "Ranbob shut up and eat." "B-but-" "If you dont eat I'll tell Benjamin." "OK ok I'll eat."  Ran thinks its normal to get stabbed often, while Ranbob thinks its normal to only eat every 2 or 3 days, and to not sleep for a long time. There is one particular hunter that's been hunting him the longest, they go by Raq and are the most determined to get Ran, though they don't plan on killing him, but rather kidnapping him and exploting him for pearls. It was a bit hard at first, Ran kept having to leave to wander around the City for a bit, though he eventually successfully got accustomed to staying in one place, though he does sometimes wish he could travel again. 

4: A bit of everything, him getting violent and trying to run at first. But after that it fades more into what resembles a depressive state, with him refusing to move and crying while being lost in his head. He requires space to move around but be monitored in the first state, while for the second he needs constant comfort and physical contact. The aftermath was the fishermen and Jackie staying close to Ranbob for the next 2 days, while Grievous and Watson try to find Ran after he stormed off in anger and disbelief. Ran does know what a relapse means, but during the time he believes Ranbobs relapse might be something else (like his facade faulting maybe).

5: Not long at all, while Ran is carrying Jackie and Cletus makes fun of them as Ranbob is following him, Jackie quickly points out how Ranbob is like a lost puppy, and the same thing is basically happening to the two of them, but showed different ways. (The brothers making sure their family is safe by sticking close to them).

6: By the time they travel to Subbin, Ranbob has gained like 80 pounds and is a way more healthy weight and looks much more healthier than when the fishermen first found him. 

7: Their usually either getting materials, looking around the area/exploring, being taught things by someone, or sleeping. Charles was the one who revived the nickname! He called him that when trying different tactics to calm him down from a nightmare, Ranbob immediately froze and after a while started to cry, Charles panicked but Ranbob quickly comforted him, saying he just hasn't heard Bobby used in such a long time and brings back both incredibly happy and incredibly sad memories. And with permission, Charles starts using it more. Ran also freezes when hearing it, immediately going ridged and almost ripping a map he has in his hands, when asked by Grievous what was wrong, he just growled out nothing and moved on. Though he does mull over it later, conflicting emotions running all over him. 

8: Helping separate Ran and Ranbob was already big for the gladiators. As most people would just watch with glee. Then when they get time to talk and make the connection between Ran and Ranbob, they decide to make a exception and willingly put in effort to bond with the other group. Also them just naturally connecting made the bonding and trust easy between the groups. 

9: They do both! They keep some books, pictures, and other stuff, but sell others as relics. Ranbob mostly disapproves of them selling the items, but also knows it'll probably be best to sell them, and have them either spread the story of Mizu as a warning, or have the story of Mizu destroyed by assumptions and twisting of the story. 

10: I'm thinking maybe a Wilbur decendent is inhabiting a certain town, and when the groups stop in for a break, Wilbur decendant  houses them and listens to their story, and tries to help?

11: They mostly just find them, they either find them in book stores or ruined towns and cities (maybe I can put The Masquerade tale in here somewhere), a wide range of people, from scholars to plain history nerds, to books from during the time of the SMP itself to books written by seemingly no one. Ranbob finds some himself, mostly when exploring with the group. I think I misworded this! Dream is the one who compared Ranbobs journal to Ranboos memory book! Ranbob knows of Ranboos memory book but he himself doesn't see the connection. Ran feels all of the above. He is extremely ashamed and disappointed in himself for hurting his brother, he hugs him tightly and apologizes non-stop, promising to make it all up to him, and while he asks for forgiveness he also says he doesnt expect for his brother to forgive him. Once he finally sees Dream for real though he's the first one to blindly attack and try to kill em. Though he doesnt succeed. 

12: No one expect the brothers where outside in the rain when they fought. So no one knew of what was happening. Its only when Ran finally joined them, but alone, did they get scared and alarmed. And when Ran admits they got into a fight and Ranbob ran off, the fishermen immediately start yelling at Ran and run off to find Ranbob, screaming his name into the deafening thunder. Grievous follows them but Watson and Jackie hang back a bit, Jackie just looks at Ran with a heartbroken expression, tears in his eyes, and asks, with his voice shaking and laced with sadness, "Why can't you at least try to accept him, you dont have to like or forgive him, but why can't you just let him heal?" "Jackie..you dont know what's he done-" "I do know! And I'm willing to help him change and recover! You can't and your his brother! What kind of family member are you?" Ran tries to respond but Jackie just chokes and shakes his head at him, running off to follow the others. Watson then speaks up, simply saying "Mate, your doing more than hurting Ranbob at this point." Before running off to follow and join the others. Ran feels horrible, even before being confronted he so badly wanted to chase after Ranbob, but was to scared too and he constantly was trying to reassure himself that he did the right thing, but no matter what, he couldn't convince himself that was the truth. And after the confrontation, Ran is taking what was said to heart and also considering running away, leaving the group behind and sparing them of all the pain he believes he causes, believing that he's just as bad a family member as Ranbob was. But he doesnt, because he feels like he absolutely needs to talk to his brother and everyone else. 

2: Oh god. Poor Ranbob. He really went through it. It does make me wonder, did anyone notice something was up? His mentor? Parents? Friends? Speaking off, what was his relationship with them all? From what I know, he seemed to be under a lot of pressure, so how did that effect things, and how did Dream’s presence change that? And uh, gladiators reactions to reading the diary? Also, did they get caught reading it, or? And how did everyone in general react to the pictures? The fishermen may have taken the latter, but how did they feel about seeing Ranbob before Dream came into the picture?

3: I tell it like it is, glad to hear it’s made you laugh though. And uh, oh boy. On one hand, I definitely shouldn’t laugh at stabbing and possible starvation. One the other. Ran’s reaction. Ranbob being threatened with Benjamin. Is he often threatened with Benjamin? What exactly happens if Benjamin is told? Will Raq be causing future problems? Is Ran happy to be on the road again?

4: That sucks. Did the gladiators witness it first hand, or did the fishermen kind of realize what was happening and split off for a bit? Reactions to either seeing or hearing this happen?

5: Ranbob’s reaction to this? Heck, all of the fishermen’s reactions?

6: As he should. If he ever starts looking even slightly thin again, Benjamin needs to jump into immediate action! Also, give him a blanket and warm drink, please? Please, he needs it, they all do. 

7: So not too bad, that’s good. Charles was the one, huh? Interesting. Does Ranbob like having it back? And conflicting emotions, hmm? What would those emotions be? Does anyone ever notice the nickname makes him mad? 

8: So the gladiators consider that their big approval? Why’s that? Like obviously, they helped break it up, but was it something particular? Did they get between the two? Jump into the arena? What?

9: A warning of Mizu...there’s something awfully tragic about that. 

10: Sounds interesting! In what way would they be able to help? 

11: Scattered about, hm? So Ranbob knows about Ranboo’s memory book? Did Dream tell him, or did Mizu have a copy, or? And yay, Ranbob finally gets a hug! Most wonderful! Sad Ran doesn’t succeed in murder, but meh. Always next time, I suppose.

12: You...you were really going for my heart when you wrote this, weren’t you? Um, first of all, ouch. Second of all, also ouch. That’s all I’ve got for you right now. Just, ouch, Anon. Ouch.

[comphersjost]

Being a dancer and Matty finding out. He would get so cheeky so fast with all his chirps and when y’all eventually get together he definitely tests your flexibility😏

oh my god okay

smut under the cut

hear me out

like, you’re on an internship with the flames as a junior athletic trainer

and like, it’s your last year of college and you really just want to get this degree and go

and your kinesiology advisor was some washed up hockey player and had given you two options:

apply for a different physical therapy related internship

or work with the university’s hockey team

and after a few run ins with those guys at parties well, there was no way you were working with your university’s hockey team

so you applied for the flames position

and got it

but like, youre still a college student, and you still have to do things like make rent and pay your car insurance and your health insurance and utilities and groceries and billion other things that sucked all your money out of you

so, you found a nice little side hustle that only required a few hours a night for a couple hundred dollars

and it was perfect because it didnt just help you with your expenses, but also made you comfortable

you were financially secure with this job - as long as you kept your face covered

and you did

one night, it’s matthew tkachuk’s birthday

you only really know because noah hanifin had come down to the trainer’s rooms to get his knee checked out and taped just in case - he had an awkward fall and wants to be safe

he’s nice enough, always smiling politely and asking how you are

and then matthew shows up, waiting for you to finish

the two talk about their plans for the night, and you pretend not to listen

your ears perk when you here noah say “come on man it’s your birthday, let loose” 

“i know dude, theres just one thing i really wanted for tonight and i cant have it,” matty replies, and when your eyes flick up at him hes already staring at you. “ill  still come out with you guys though”

you finished up with noah’s knee and tapped him, signaling he could go

“look man, just try to have fun,” noah hops off the table, “dont think you much you know - thanks y/n - you know dude?”

matthew rolls his eyes and shoves noah in front of him, ignoring his yell of protest

“bye, y/n” he says, his gaze too intense for you to keep eye contact

“bye guys, see you tomorrow,” you say softly, the clean up in front of you suddenly the most interesting thing in the room

you push them out of your head as youre finally leaving the arena

youve got somewhere to be and you werent going to let whatever these two hooligans said make you late

you make it to the club you work at just in time

you get ready in a rush, trying to fasten all the clips and tie all the ribbons as fast as you can

one of the other girls helps you, fasting the last few clips while you tie a masquerade mask over your face

and like - you shouldve double knotted it

or at least double checked it like you normally

because you get out there and your boss tells you

“you’ve got a private booking first, some hot shot kid’s birthday”

the description makes you uneasy but you figure, calgary is a big city, theres not way its him

but you walk into a room set a side for private shows and -

there he is

dumb navy suit and dumb curls and all

he looks up when you enter the room, a smirk on his lips

but youve been around the team long enough to know when its fake

his eyes dont have the fire in them

you drop your voice a few octaves, purring to make yourself sound seductive but more importantly - different

every thing is going well, and youre almost through

matt has a hand on your hip as you grind on him and then -

it’s your fault really, you reached up to brush your hair out of your face and the same time matthew reached up to do it for you

your hands knocked together and his finer catches on the ribbon thats looped through your mask

it falls into his lap and he stares at it for a moment, before staring at you

you’re looking at him with wide eyes, while he stares between you and the fallen mask

“you’re-”

“please don’t tell anyone!” you blurt out before he can say anything “please matthew don’t tell any of the team or anything, please, i’ll owe you whatever you want”

“woah, hey, relax,” matthew laughs, calming you by squeezing your now-still hips with his abnormally large hands “i wont tell anyone, its okay”

with an uncomfortable and short conversation about you doing this because you needed the money (and quickly shooting down matty’s offer to help you out, the two of you stumble through awkward goodbye’s

he double knots your mask for you this time, making sure it’s on tight before promising you your secret was safe and walking out the door

you pretend not to notice the tent in his pants that started growing the moment your mask fell off your face

you and matthew dance around each other for a few weeks, until some gala thing you were required to go

“the event is mandatory for all staff, even the interns. the organization will pay for all of your attire and transportation necessary to arrive at the banquet hall” your advisor had emailed you, making it clear you werent being given a choice here.

you showed up at this event dressed to the nines

your best friend had been in town visiting you when you had gone shopping for the event, refusing to let you wear something she deemed anything less then goddess-like apparently 

matty doesnt see you at first, hes at the bar with his back to you

hes a few drinks in already cause like, he really doesnt wanna be here

and then elias shoves him in the shoulder, motioning with his head over matty’s shoulder

you watch as matty turns around, your mouth going dry at the burgundy suit, white shirt, and black tie he was wearing

his lips are parted, frozen in his spot

and really - you didnt mean to match with matty, you and your best friend had just seen the dress and fallen in love with it

until his friends chirping turns into sean shoving him again to get his attention

without even sparing a glance at his teammates matt is barreling for you

hes dodging higher ups and execs and reporters and everyone who wants to talk to him like it’s his goddamn job

you finally release a breath that youre holding when he reaches you

he grabs a hold of your hand, pulling you along as he weaves through the people

both of you catch your breath when youre finally out the door and into the garden area of the venue

“you said anything” matt says abruptly, turning to you

“what?” you say, confused, and matt wants to kiss the pout off your lips

“at the club,” he says, and your blood runs cold. “you said youd owe me anything i wanted if i kept your secret.”

you nod slowly, apprehensive of what his ask was going to be

“well, it’s you,” he repeats, sighing when you stare at him, not understanding what he wants

“i. want. you.” he punctuates every word with a step towards you. “you said anything but i’m letting you choose, let me take you home, or take you out, but any part of you that you’ll let me have, that’s what i want.”

hes towering over you now, his bright blue eyes darkening with every second his eyes roam your skin

it takes you a moment to find your voice, but you clear your throat and say

“how about both?”

a smile tugs at matty’s lips, and his hands slide around your waist

he leans down to your ear, whispering “both sounds just short of heaven pretty girl”

“what will it take to get you to heaven, mr. tkachuk?” you whisper against his mouth, arms looping around his neck

he chuckles darkly, stealing a kiss, then another, and another as he pulls you closer to his body

“let’s just say,” he hums, trailing kisses down your neck, “it definitely involves some of that flexibility i saw in the club that night”

and, well, you’re okay with that

[classic80sand90smovieloves2]

Meeting and dating Veronica Sawyer

(Not my gif)(requested by anonymous)

- You meet Veronica in the lunch room as she’s walking around with Heather. You’re sat at a table with your friends when the two girls come up to your table and ask you the daily poll.

- When she sees you for the first time she just can’t seem to take her eyes off of you. At first she thinks perhaps it’s because she hasn’t seen you around school before or just out of admiration for your style/features. But then you complimented her outfit and she internally lost her shit for a good minute, it was then she realized that this was not in fact a normal reaction and something was going on with her.

- Soon enough she realizes what exactly is going on and it ...slightly troubles her. Where she’s from being gay isn’t exactly normal nor really accepted.

- As much as she doesn’t particularly like/trust the Heathers she also has no one else to talk to, so with reluctance she tells them about her feelings for you. Heather C basically just says “Well you didn’t pick the worst chick to want to date. She’s not a total mutant like some of these people…could use some more blush though.”

- It’s easy to forget that the Heathers and Veronica were actually friends no matter how catty they could be with one another. They still sort of want the best for each other so when Veronica confides in them they attempt to give her any advice they can. They do do her a favor (without her knowing) and invite you to ‘Become a Heather’ which you slightly agree to meaning you and Veronica get close.

- She doesn’t really know what to do about her feelings, she wants to act on them but that doesn’t feel like an option considering where she’s from. She writes a lot of diary entries about you and her feelings just to get everything out.

- You both do that whole ‘you stare at the person and when the person looks at you, you look away then that person stares at you until you look at them’ thing.

- Her heart races every time you compliment her and vice versa (but she doesn’t know that just yet).

- She begins to write you secret admirer notes. You have no idea it’s her because she disguises her handwriting every time she writes them. It kind of makes her smile when she gets to hear all about how cute you find the little letters and seeing all the Heathers giggle along as you read them.

- You only find out its her when you catch her slipping one into your locker but at the time you assume it’s just an invitation to a party or some notes you might have missed from class. It’s only when schools over that you get to read what she dropped in and it’s another lovey dovey note.

- You call her after school to hangout and when she comes to your house you act as though everything’s normal until you hand her the note. She tenses up and freezes in her place as you wait for a response. As quickly as she can she tries to apologize and explain herself before you stop her, telling her it’s alright.

“It is?”

“It is.”

“...You’re not mad?”

“No, in fact I’m quite happy.”

“...really?”

“Yes really, I’m just waiting.”

“For what?”

“For you to ask me out.” She looks at you completely shocked before a smile spreads across her face and she asks you out.

- The two of you go to a bookstore where you both split apart and find a book you think the other will enjoy. After you meet up again you go back to her place and read together while listening to some soft music.

- Your first kiss is that day as your date ends. She stops you as you’re about to open the door to her room and puts a hand on your cheek, leaning in and kissing you. The two of you break apart smiling and you leave her house happy and excited with your new relationship.

- A lot of kissing and cuddling.

- She’s open to sex pretty early on so it depends if you want to or not, she doesn’t want you to feel pressured to do it. 

- She’s a self admitted mini genius so she’s happy to help you study and plan your calendar.

- She definitely forges notes/passes so that she can get you out of class with her. You just have to hint at needing a signature or something and she’ll do it for you.

- Horror movies are her ally. She loves having you grab her hand whenever you get a good scare.

- She’s probably a little insecure after having been friends with Heather Chandler for so long and being the talk of the school for better and for worse. 

- She tells you you’re beautiful all the time and gives you this adorable little smile when you tell her the same. 

- She sort of prefers to stay out of the spotlight especially when you’re together just in case people start to get suspicious. She’ll grab a lunch table in the far corner of the cafeteria or the two of you will eat somewhere else together.

- The Heathers usually butt their way into your lunch dates or dates in general. They’ll just show up and sit with you all while starting a conversation about something that’s just happened to them.

- The Heathers choose to ignore your relationship, it’s not that they don’t like it just that they think it’s best to be willfully ignorant. They’re still getting used to the fact that they know not one but two gay/bi/etc girls.

- She’s a raging pessimist most of the time but you brighten up her outlook on life. 

- You guys play croquet a lot. She’s happy to teach you if you dont know how to play.

- Her room is really cosy so you guys hangout in there a lot. It’s also a bonus that her parents are completely clueless as to what you two actually are. They just think you’re really good friends like her and the Heathers.

- She writes you little poems every now and again.

- Makes up overdramatic plays to entertain you starring a very overdone preformance by her.

- She wants to protect you all the time, she knows just how mean people can be.

- She usually has an arm around your shoulder or looped with your own during the school day. It’s a normal thing for ‘ friends’ especially the Heathers to be affectionate with each other so no one questions it.

- Pâté with her parents.

- You have dinner at her house at least once a week, afterwards you, her and her parents sit and watch tv together.

- She definitely has some deep rooted issues that she doesn’t talk about (in the movie you’ll see that now and again she tries to hurt herself). You try to help her anyway you can but ultimately wait until she’s ready to come to you about what wrong with her.

- Being there when she needs someone to rant to especially about Heather C.

- She can always tell when something’s wrong and makes sure to be there for you when you need it.

- Having to bite your tongue whenever someone flirts with one of you or the both of you at the same time.

- She strokes your hair absentmindedly whenever you’re sitting and watching tv together.

- Fights are usually screaming matches but they’re resolved pretty easily and quickly so it’s never really that bad.

- Doing stupid shit together.

“What if we like coughed up a phlegm glob or something?”

- Photobooth pictures of the two of you

- She loves your praise especially when it’s about something other than her looks. She’s used to people thinking she’s pretty so it’s a nice change when you compliment something about her that she’s actually proud of.

“Tell me how good this is”

“It’s great”

- Cue a cute little smile.

- Knowing each other’s locker combos and borrowing each other’s stuff.

- You probably join the yearbook committee with her and the two of you help each other with your work.

- Morbid jokes.

- Getting your designated color for when you’re with the Heathers. They subtly make sure it looks good with Veronicas blue, that’s how you know they support the two of you together.

- Taking care of her whenever she gets drunk/sick at parties. You’ve had to hold her hair as she pukes more than a few times.

- Quick comebacks that never fail to make you laugh.

- Taking naps together after school.

- Gossiping and making fun of people together for shits and giggles.

- Convincing her to hang out with Betty Finn more, she’s an absolute sweetheart to the two of you.

- Helping her accessorize since she apparently can’t do it for shit.

- She’ll say “love you” over the phone but she has a little trouble saying it in person. It makes her a little embarrassed and she ends up getting tongue tied before she can get it out.

- You offhandedly talk about the future, like she’ll make a comment like ‘we should do this next year’ or ‘god I could marry you’ or ‘next year I’m going to take you to do this’ and the ever so common ‘after highschool I’m blowing this town and taking you with me’.

[pinkykitten]

I’m here for you

13 Reasons Why

Clay Jensen x female! reader

Warning: did not re-read, sexual assault, mentions of suicide, takings of sexual assault, cursing 

Specifics: angst, romance, one-shot, race neutral reader

People: clay jensen, bryce walkers, jessica davis, parents 

Words: 1,398

Requested: By anon can you do an imagine where you go to clay after you’re sexually assaulted and he comforts you and everything? it happened to me somewhat recently and idk i just need like comfort. it’s okay if you don’t wanna write it.

Authors Note: now this has a lot of stuff in it so if you cannot read this i totally understand so i put all the writing under the cut so you would have to see anything if you didnt want to. i am so sorry anon that you again had to go through something like this. its not easy and is so terrible and heartbreaking, my heart is with you in these tough times. if you need to maybe read this with somebody near by you, maybe a friend or adult if these trigger you. If you need to as well talk to someone pls do, call the hotline and talk with a trusted person. if yall dont have that you guys can whenever talk to me about whatever i am here for you 24/7 no matter what.

He touched you. You didn’t want it. It wasn’t love and it wasn’t normal. He didn’t listen to your cries; your screams; your protests. He didn’t leave you alone or move. He knew you didn’t want it, him, but yet he chose to keep touching you. 

You crouched by Bryce’s closet; sobbing into your hands. Your mascara dripping down your face and landing on your carpet. Your lips quivered as you replayed what happened moments before. 

You had gone to Bryce’s house to finish a project you had with him. You didn’t really know him so you were not worried. As you entered into his house you then started to have an unsettling feeling. He was alone and it was just you and him. 

“It okay y/n. I’ll take good care of you,” he would say to you. Feeding your expectations of him and lying to you. “This is normal. I know you want this.” He whispered into your ear as you tried to push him off. He was greedy and selfish not caring about you. Now you understood why Hannah killed herself. 

After Bryce took advantage of you he pushed you off like a piece of trash. Like you were an object instead of a person; a woman. Thoughts raced into your mind as you thought of the way his hands pinched and hurt your skin; leaving bruises littered all over your body. 

It was hard to stand up. You were shaking. You looked beyond the doorway and noticed he had left somewhere else. With everything that you had you sprinted to his window. Unlocking the hinges made a noise and you heard Bryce yell. 

“Hey what the f*ck are you doing?” He screamed as you heard his footsteps near you. 

With everything that you had you unlocked the window and opened it; jumping out. You ran down the street away from the monster. 

Bryce saw you leave. His eyes squinting as he licked his lips. Proud and satisfied with what he did to you. Drinking the last bit of alcohol he had in his cup. He had to make sure you didn’t say a word; that you kept your mouth shut. 

You ran like he was still behind you; never looking back until you reached home. Your parents were out of town for the week so you truly did feel alone. You locked your doors and fell into your bed; crying. You sobbed into your pillow. You felt the innocence drain out of you. Your trust in people disappear. 

“Why me?” You groaned as you felt sick to your stomach. The moments, the feeling, the words, smell, taste, everything never leaving you. It was as if it was engraved in your mind. You wish you could forget it; leave it. Dig it up somewhere far away. You remembered every second of it. 

You wanted to call Clay; your best friend but you were afraid as to what he would say. Afraid he would want to start a fight with Bryce. Maybe even afraid he wouldn’t believe you. You stared longingly at his number on your phone; wishing he was here with you. 

“Clay you haven’t seen y/n, right?” Jessica asked, lifting a piece of paper to show him that they have a science project to do together. “I haven’t seen her in like forever.”

Clay licked his lips. Trying to remember the last time he did see you. Its been a while. You hadn’t gone to school in about 3 days already and Clay was worried about you. “Yeah, you’re right. I haven’t seen y/n at all actually. Maybe she went with her parents.”

“Well I just wonder because we we’re supposed to go over this yesterday.”

“Maybe she’s not feeling good. I’ll pass by her house today.”

After school Clay got on his bike and rode off quickly to your house. A part of him felt at ease and another felt worried. What if something happened to you? He would not be able to live with himself knowing two of the most important people in his life had something bad happened to them. Hannah and now you.

“Y/n!” Clay said as he motioned over to your door. He rang the doorbell and waited. His feet tapping gently against the cement floor. “Y/n open up please!” 

He looked at his phone and noticed you never texted back all those texts he sent you. Concerned, he started knocking then knocking turned into pounding. “Y/n I said open the God d*amn door please!” Clay walked back and was about to run into the door but you opened it just in time. 

“Clay! What the f*ck?” You asked, surprised. You were wrapped up in your pajamas. Your face all gloomy looking and not kept up with. You looked like you hadn’t seen the sun in ages as your eyes squinted at the light. You looked like a mess. “What do you want?”

Clay thought it was odd that she was acting fine when he knew something was up. “I just, you didn’t come to school today or the other days and I just wanted to check up on you.”

“Well you did and I’m fine.” You tried closing the door but Clay stopped you, putting his hand out. 

“Y/n, whats really going on?”

You bit your nails as you looked down; trying not to cry. “I’m fine really. Now just leave me alone.”

“No, I’m not going to. Y/n you’re pretending. You’re pretending to be okay when you’re not. I know somethings up. You usually text me and you didn’t this time. You usually tell me everything and now you’re keeping sh*t away from me. What the f*ck is going on?”

“Its him okay!” You cried out, rubbing your forehead from the pain increasing there. “It was...him.”

“Who’s him?”

You looked left and right outside and brought Clay in by the sleeve. “Clay...Bryce...Bryce did stuff to me.”

Clay knitted his eyebrows and placed his hands on your arms. “What do you mean y/n? What did Bryce do?”

“He,” tears started to poor from your eyes. “He sexually assaulted me Clay. He did things to me that I didn’t want. I said no Clay. I said no.” You sobbed harder as Clay brought you to his chest. Your face pressed against his chest so you could hear his heart beat quicken. 

Clay’s face reddened as he became so angry. All he wanted was to protect you and now you were hurt. “I am so sorry y/n.” He was so irate that he couldn’t search for the words at the moment to help soothe you. He just let you cry into his chest as he patted your back. 

“Clay, he took that piece away from me. That piece of myself. I wanted to tell you this for a while but I like you Clay, a lot. You are a good guy, you’re kind and sweet and you’re always making sure I’m alright but now I can’t be with you. I’m wasted. I’m disgusting. I’ve been touched and I’m vile now. I’ve been spoiled. I’m a wasteful mess.” You fell onto your knees as you cried into your hands. 

Clay was so shocked. He never knew you felt that way about him. He also got on his knees and brought you onto his lap, rocking you as he embraced you. “You’re none of those things. This is not your fault, this is Bryce’s. He will pay for what he has done I will make sure of that. As for you, you are more than enough. I don’t deserve you. You are strong to have gone through this. You are powerful. You will achieve and make it on top. I am here for you y/n. I will make sure no one ever touches you again. You mean so much to me y/n. You are perfect in every way. I love you for the woman you have become. You are incredible. Don’t let him take control of you. You did not deserve this but you do deserve happiness and love. If you want me I am here for you.” Clay kissed your knuckles as he soothed you on the floor, tears dripping from his eyes as well. “You mean so much to me and so much to others in your life. Just know that. I’m here for you y/n, I am here for you.” 

Tag list: @harrington-lover, @angelgl16, @perfectlybeautifulsuit, @hyehoney, @haven-prelude (wont let me tag), @leasly, @totally-alexa21, @creamy-pasta-boi, @multireese, @fanfictionrecommendations-com, @prentisskelley, @malereaderforkpop (wont let me tag), @guardian-of-cookies, @justafangirl-97, @teenageshitposts (wont let me tag), @dippergravity (wont let me tag), @some-booty, @fromfoolishpeopletodeadpeople, @collectiveyou, @wtfisalltherandoms, @dirbel, @eastcoasthaven, @fangirl-4-life415 (wont let me tag),

wanna be tagged in my crap? comment!

[homespork-review]

Homespork Act 4, Part 2: Flight of the Paradox Groans

BRIGHT: Remember Spades Slick being bizarrely aware he was in a comic, back in the Intermission? Buckle up, things are about to get even more fourth-wall-breaking. Appropriately, this starts by the comic focusing on an actual fourth wall, which activates to show...Andrew Hussie.

Hussie’s MS Paint avatar notices the audience watching him, laments that his side of the wall doesn’t have an off switch, and then recaps the first year of Homestuck.

Now, in all fairness: The recap is thorough, full of links, and explains things fairly well. It’s quite long, but given how much territory it has to cover I’m not sure it could be any shorter. So it does its job well, and it’s a boon if you’re getting lost with the plot.

As for the author insertion...on this occasion I don’t mind it. It comes across as tongue-in-cheek, but framed more as the author talking to the reader than as the author inserting himself into the narrative. It’s definitely very Homestuck.

Anyway, AH gets back to work, and after a couple of false starts we return to John!

John is still flying around with his jet pack. GC trolls him to offer him a world map of LOWAS and tell him she feels awful about killing him, although in literally the next line she tells him that technically he never even died so she doesn’t understand why he’s so upset. John understandably finds this disturbing. They have a brief nonsensical discussion about Jesus/Jegus, and then John agrees to go take a look at what’s on the other side of his Second Gate. Yes, on the advice of someone whose previous advice got him killed.

CHEL: Almost a shame we didn’t set up a Too Dumb To Live count, but then to be fair that was a separate timeline and he’s probably not thinking of it as something that “really” happened. This is supported by his later dialogue.

FAILURE ARTIST: The word Jegus is really popular in the Homestuck fandom, used far more often than it is in the canon. Gets quite annoying, in my opinion. Actually, a rather Jesus-like figure does appear, but he’s not called “Jegus”.

CHEL: Yeah, I think only Terezi, John, and Dave ever use the term, but it somehow became latched onto as an actual term used by trolls in general, even though in canon it isn’t.

BRIGHT: Fortunately, this time GC appears to be playing nice. John flies though the Second Gate and emerges...into LOLAR?

FAILURE ARTIST: Hussie does an amusing trick where he has what looks like a loading screen for a flash but it’s actually a still image eternally at 2%.

BRIGHT: Yes, it’s LOLAR. John promptly crashes into Rose’s house, smashing through a wall and into her bedroom, where Rose is still snoozing in her knitting pile. Apart from briefly being stuck upside down, he does not appear injured by this collision.

Rose has somehow slept through the commotion. John decides to let her rest and borrows her computer to talk to Dave.

The first one he talks to is actually Davesprite, who points out how moronic John was to listen to GC again. No arguments here! Then he explains how the Gate system works: Odd-numbered Gates, above players’ houses, lead to somewhere on their planets. Even-numbered Gates lead to other players’ planets, exiting over their houses. Normally they aren’t meant to go through even-numbered Gates until the houses are built up, so they don’t fall to their deaths, but fortunately John has a jetpack workaround. So far Davesprite is living up to his promise of being straightforward.

John realises he’s talking to Future Dave, and asks “do you think i could talk to the real dave for a second?”

...ouch, John.

Davesprite goes off on a tear, ranting that he is a real Dave — arguably the realest Dave, since he’s been running around LOHAC for months trying to get enough information to save everyone. John apologises sincerely.

CHEL: This won’t be the last we hear of this theme, though.

EB: i think i pissed off your future self. TG: what did you do EB: i said he wasn't the real dave. TG: ahahahahaha EB: i think i might have really hurt his feelings though! TG: pff TG: dont worry about it EB: why not? TG: cause i wouldnt give a shit TG: and hes me

BRIGHT: Not a hundred percent sure I believe Dave, there.

CHEL: Dave uses John to snoop around Rose’s room and get the captcha code for her journals. Classy, Dave. Not a SLAMMER point, however, as this does come back to bite him very soon.

Rose’s dreamself has awoken on Derse, the purple planet, and flies across to the opposite tower. Dave’s dreamself appears to be awake, sitting upright in his computer chair; the room is entirely an unsettling bloody red colour apart from the SBaHJ cartoons on the walls, and… oh shit, there’s Lil Cal again, now in a long purple nightdress and hopping around the room on his own. If Rose was having nightmares because of dreamself issues, I can only imagine how Dave’s nightmares must look. Rose throws a ball of yarn at Dave’s dreamself, alerting him, and causing the awake Dave to pass out.

Back in Rose’s room, it seems that Charles Barkley quote was not misattributed:

FAILURE ARTIST: Another SBaHJ reference in the book quote. Is that where Dave got it?

Still, I don’t recall this book ever coming up again. Just another item that seems like a Chekhov's Gun but isn’t.

CHEL: John feels guilty about opening his birthday gift from Rose, but reasons that it’s technically now his anyway, so he does, finding another bunny, this one black and filthy-looking except for the pristine knitted purple patches repairing it, though its shape is eerily familiar.

The gift in this box is a resurrection. I used your present to thread life anew into a tattered heirloom. As long as I can remember, its black, greasy appendages have been tethered limply to its ratty, porous carriage. Too delicate to wash, too dear to discard. I used to love this rabbit. Now he's yours. I trust you'll find this to be adequately sentimental. Happy birthday.

Oh my gosh, awwwwww. Even if you don’t ship them romantically how can you not love their interactions? Definitely one of the comic’s strong points. Also I need to go hug my childhood teddy bear.

John puts the bunny back in the box again and the box in his sylladex, freeing Casey the salamander while he’s at it. And let’s just take a minute to feel utter horror because dead John still had Casey in his sylladex, so the best option is that she died too, and the worst is that we have an And I Must Scream situation on for a baby salamander. Gah.

FAILURE ARTIST: Thanks, I’d never thought of that and I never want to again.

You aren't actually sure if she is a girl though. You don't even know if salamanders can be girls. Aren't they hermaphrodites or something?

CHEL: No, for the record. Though some frogs can switch from one to the other.

FAILURE ARTIST: Casey is very popular as a name for an OC child of John (often having Rose as the mother).

CHEL: John answers Rose’s Pesterchum, upon which GA is half-heartedly sending antagonistic messages. John answers on Rose’s account, saying that Rose is asleep, which GA takes for Human Sarcasm, prompting John to pretend to be Rose.

GA: I Should Figure Out How The Viewport Feature Of This Application Works GA: So I Can See What Such A Primitive Creature Looks Like TT: haha, well i know what you guys look like. TT: you look kind of like... TT: howie mandel from little monsters.

Wait, how does he know? Am I forgetting a point at which he saw them?

BRIGHT: I always assumed that he was just goofing around and his guess happened to land in the right ballpark, but thinking about it, I’m not sure the kids ever express surprise at the trolls’ appearance.

CHEL: John, pretending to be Rose, talks about how awesome John is.

GA: He Is Either The Leader Of Your Party Or You Hold Whatever The Human Equivalent Of Mating Fondness For Him Is

CHEL: Both. Both is good!

FAILURE ARTIST: Knowing what we do of troll culture later this is an odd statement. Heck, it’s just an odd statement. Maybe this is why people think trolls don’t do friendship.

CHEL: John apparently confuses GA by saying it’s because Rose is thoughtful and John appreciates his gift, and suggests GA talk to John.

TT: why don't you pick the time that will make the most complicated mess out of everything imaginable?

GA sounds very annoyed, and leaves, intending to have the conversation with John that she had previously. We see her, GC, and the horns of AT and an unknown troll in the grey room, now revealed to be a computer laboratory. For some reason she chats via Pesterchum with another troll instead of just walking over to talk to them. This new troll is twinArmageddons, an appropriate name for the circumstances, who type2 iin yellow text liike thii2; he is, as it turns out, the hacker guy GC mentioned earlier. TA is busy setting up the network and seems irritable in general, and is not willing to help GA work her viewport.

TA: iif ii 2ee one more 2narl of wiire2. TA: kiind of juttiing out and beiing tangled or whatever. TA: ii am goiing two perform 2ome 2ort of athletiic fuckiing 2omer2ault off the deep end and get a call from the pre2iident or 2ome 2hiit.

Nice callback, but trolls, as we’ll later find out, don’t have presidents.

WHITE SBURB POSTMODERNISM: 14

GA wonders why TA doesn’t want to talk to her, and TA complains that he knew in advance the trolls were doomed and no one believed him. He refuses to troll the humans himself but is setting up the system so the others can in order to get them to leave him alone. GA asks again for help, to no avail.

TA: iif you cant fiigure 2hiit out by fuckiing around you dont belong near computer2. TA: kiind of liike wiith regii2tered 2ex offender2 and 2chool2. TA: iif you move two a new town you have two go up two your neiighbor2 door and warn them about how 2tupiid you are. TA: and giive them a chance two hiide all theiir iinnocent technology. TA: and vandaliize your hou2e.

Ooh, a threefer plus one! Tacky simile for the Problematykks. As for WSP, we’ll later find out that 1) trolls kill all their criminals, 2) trolls don’t give a shit about the welfare of their children, and 3) trolls don’t appear to actually go to school. These two counts are neck and neck in the lead now!

CLOCKWORK PROBLEMATYKKS: 17 WHITE SBURB POSTMODERNISM: 17

BRIGHT: As with much of Homestuck, the trolls give the impression of being made up as Hussie went along. That’s not entirely a bad thing -- it certainly makes the comic pretty unique -- but it does lead to some out-of-place slip-ups.

Anyway, GA chucks her F1 key at TA’s head and then starts poking him. We also see CG in the lab.

FAILURE ARTIST: I think I recall GA/TA were a popular ship before we learned more about GA. It does seem like they have a Rose & Dave dynamic going on.

BRIGHT: Back on Derse, Rose and Dave have a dance party to Dave’s music while accompanied by some crows and Lil Cal, who keeps teleporting around the room. Rose eventually gets tired of Cal’s shenanigans and hurls him out of the window, to the relief of many.

FAILURE ARTIST: The flash originally included music by Bill Bolin. In fact, it was his unfinished music being included here that caused all the drama in the first place.

BRIGHT: Time for some random interludes! First up is Maplehoof the pony, who is following Rose’s mother through a large cave which, judging by the grist lying around, recently contained very dangerous monsters.

FAILURE ARTIST: Apparently pets can collect grist for their masters...and know what grist is despite being a normal(?) animal.

BRIGHT: First Mom, and then Maplehoof, stand on a transportaliser platform and disappear. Second is Dad, who has just acquired a replacement shoe and hat (which showed up in the walkaround game, way back at the beginning of the Act), when he encounters a familiar-looking stranger with a Colonel Sassacre book, who leads him to another transportalizer platform. Both of these interludes do become relevant later, but at the time they seem a tad unnecessary.

Meanwhile, John uses Rose’s alchemiter and a code Davesprite gave him mid-rant to produce a truly epic hammer called FEAR NO ANVIL. It’s far too big for John to wield, but fortunately he can use the scaling upgrade on the alchemiter to reduce it to a more useable size. ...wait. When did Rose’s alchemiter get a scaling upgrade? Dave and Jade added a lot of modifications to his, but Rose’s should be the original edition. Sigh.

EB: so what is this? EB: the thing the code made... TG: really powerful hammer EB: how do you know? EB: i thought you couldn't use hammers. TG: i cant TG: better be though TG: got it from hephaestus EB: who's that? TG: really tough to kill dude EB: you killed him for it? TG: nope EB: how'd you get it then? TG: shenanigans EB: ok.

...and we’re back to sprite evasiveness. Davesprite is being less than forthcoming here, although it’s less obvious than with Nannasprite because it superficially imitates John and Dave’s bantering.

CHEL: Now, this would be a good way of keeping us interested if we were eventually going to see how he did it, and also they have a time limit, so not going off into a long anecdote would be understandable. However, we’ll see how his evasiveness level proceeds in the future.

BRIGHT: Dream Rose and Dave see John using Rose’s alchemiter on Dream Dave’s computer. Rose wakes up.

FAILURE ARTIST: It is interesting how early Homestuck avoided having characters have face-to-face conversations. Would have been unique if it kept up throughout the entire comic.

BRIGHT: Back in the meteor, GA hassles TA into opening the viewport on her computer. This turns out to be as simple as clicking on the point in Rose’s timeline that she wants to see. No wonder TA was frustrated!

Of course, by this point, the only one left in the room is Rose, now awake, and the young salamander. Rose hurries to catch up with John, but he blasts off to explore before she can reach him, taking her mutated kitten with him.

CHEL: John renames Vodka Mutini to Dr Meowgon Spengler, and Rose renames Casey to Viceroy Bubbles von Salamancer. Interesting link to the themes of identities which are starting to crop up, though it’s not really a direct analogue. The animals are the same animals with different names; the alternate timeline characters have the same names and superficially the same identities, but are they really the same people after their new experiences?

BRIGHT: Back on Derse, Lil Cal inexplicably lands on a stray rocket board, catching the attention of AR.

You're not sure which laws are being broken, but it is probably a lot.

AR follows Cal to yet another transportaliser, and they both dematerialise.

We jump back to John, who spies a boat on one of the islands dotting LOLAR and lands to investigate. He follows hoofprints in the sand into a subterranean hallway filled with monsters. Fortunately his new hammer has time powers, which stun the monsters long enough for John to kill them. Further on, he finds the transportaliser Mom used. John, naturally, stands on it, and is transported to a meteor in the Veil.

Actually, it’s not just a meteor; it’s one of the laboratories where the Skaian troops are produced. John, along with the cat and Maplehoof, finds a bunch of chess guys being grown in glass jars on a giant podium. Most of them are the standard carapaces we’re familiar with, but there are also a few larger pieces, apparently based on knights and rooks. He also finds a JUNIOR ECTOBIOLOGIST’S LAB SUIT, and another of those strange house-shaped sets of monitors.

On Prospit, PM is preparing to board a shuttle to Skaia when a COURTYARD DROLL sneaks up behind her. Unaccountably, she fails to notice him, despite the fact that he’s wearing a hat larger than he is. CD successfully pickpockets the White Queen’s ring, and PM departs for Skaia, none the wiser.

CD radios the DRACONIAN DIGNITARY to report mission success, and is told that he doesn’t need to keep wearing his ridiculous outfit, per orders from Jack Noir, who is now going by the SOVEREIGN SLAYER. CD says he’d rather keep wearing the outfit. Apart from the sword-through-the-chest part, it is a very nice outfit, so I’m with CD on this one.

Catastrophe is averted by Jade delivering a flying kick to CD’s head and following up with a very efficient smackdown. Her robot body replicates this back on Earth, beating the stuffing out of her mummified grandfather. Jade retrieves the ring, and puts it on her fingers to remind herself to give it back to PM later. Unfortunately, this doesn’t cause Jade to sprout wings and tentacles. Seems the rings don’t work on humans like that.

Meanwhile, in a Timeless Expanse, a WARWEARY VILLEIN is getting tired of the battle between Derse and Prospit. The next animation is called “WV?: Rise Up” and it’s one of my favorites! When I first read Homestuck I had to watch it a few times before I understood what was going on, but it is a very neat video.

Watch on YouTube

The Battlefield has been prototyped three times, and is now spherical. The forces of Derse and Prospit meet. The usual carapaces with swords are backed up by larger pieces -- some of them very strange -- and by battleships clashing in the sky. In the chaos, WV, who is farming peacefully on Skaia, has his home and farm burned down. He raises a flag and addresses the troops of both armies. Elsewhere, Jack Noir appears, flying over the Battlefield in search of the Black King.

WV rallies the armies and tells them that their real enemies are the monarchs, who are responsible for the war. Encouraged, the Dersite and Prospitan troops band together and march on the Black King.

Meanwhile, PM has reached the White King and discovers that she no longer has the White Queen’s ring. The White King listens to her and hands over his scepter, which seems to represent Skaia and serves a similar function to the Queens’ rings. Behind a nearby hill, the Hegemonic Brute radios somebody to report the transfer.

As WV and the united armies reach the Black King, Jack arrives and slices the Black King’s scepter in half, nullifying its powers and turning the Black King back into a normal carapace. PM is attacked by HB, who knocks the White King’s scepter out of her hand; it falls down a waterfall. Jack Noir beheads the Black King and turns to WV, and the animation ends.

...okay, much as I love it, I have to admit there’s a glaring question here: Namely, the kids started playing the Game less than a day ago and Dave’s kernelsprite has been prototyped for a few hours max. The second prototyping made the Battlefield more complex and the third took it into its current form. That’s a very short time to instigate a cross-faction revolution, organise the troops, and march on a monarch. For that matter, how long has WV been a farmer? The inhabitants of Derse and Prospit have obviously been doing their thing all the kids’ lives, but the Battlefield was supposedly a static, rudimentary space until John entered the Medium, so what gives?

Then again, the timeline in the Medium is supposed to be distinct from the timeline on Earth, so maybe that explains it?

CHEL: An interesting point is also raised by WV’s revolution. Namely, Derse is presented as a kingdom of darkness and evil by the game, while Prospit is presented as good. However, while PM is good, WV and AR are demonstrably not bad people either. In this animation, we see carapaces of both sides apparently don’t want to be involved in the war and are willing to rise up against the Black King. The rank-and-file carapaces on both sides, it seems, are decent people who are just following orders. (Not to mention very cute.) Jack Noir and his gang are nasty pieces of work, except CD who’s also just kind of going along with it, but there’s nothing saying white carapaces couldn’t also be… And is that a Problematykks point, presenting the black-coloured people as bad and the white-coloured ones as good? I know they’re chess pieces, but still.

This raises the question, however, what’s Derse’s motive? Are its rulers and archagents simply destroying for the evulz? I wonder. I also wonder how much Skaia itself is involved in this and how aware it is. Skaia is called the crucible of creation, and it’s responsible for the creation of the carapaces too. References are made to it “seeing” and “knowing”; it’s quite possibly sentient, though maybe not sapient. On top of that, SBurb is specifically a game, and a game needs an objective, and an adventure-type game needs enemies. Derse, it seems likely, was created and presented the way it is in order to give the players something to battle against even if its people don’t want to be their enemies. No wonder WV’s pissed!

BRIGHT: Yup. Hmm, thinking about it...the imps and other enemies we saw attacking John’s house early on were obviously Dersite, but the ones we’ve seen in Rose’s seem to be Prospitian, if anything? The colour scheme looks that way, at least. But Nanna said earlier that Derse was the enemy, nothing about Prospit.

Perhaps it has something to do with Rose being a Derse dreamer, while John is a Prospit dreamer? But in that case I’d have expected it to come up in the text. Instead it just goes unremarked.

Rose goes on a massive alchemising spree and ends up creating the Thorns of Oglogoth, a pair of wands.

The needles seem to shiver with the dark desires of THE DEEP ONE. Any sane adventurer would cast these instruments of the occult into the FURTHEST RING and forget they ever existed.

Instead of throwing the wands away, Rose takes on the enemies camping all over her house, with style.

Meanwhile, Dave goes on another, less visibly productive alchemising spree.

GET ON WITH IT!: 18

FAILURE ARTIST: The SBaHJifier could be considered productive in that it provides foreshadowing cartoons. Wish Dave’s Brain in a Jar came up again.

BRIGHT: Once he’s done creating smuppet variations to disturb the monsters encroaching on his house, he sits down to take a look at those two journals he copied from Rose earlier. One of them is called ‘MEOW’, and is literally just those same four letters, repeated over and over in different orders. The second is ‘Complacency of the Learned’.

There is no way to adequately recap the beauty of ‘Complacency of the Learned’, so we’re just going to show the whole thing:

Frigglish bothered his beard, as if unkinking a hitch in a long silk windsock. A more pedestrian audience would parse the exhibit as nervous compulsion. Behavior to petition contempt among the reasonable. He was however not surrounded by the reasonable, but the wise, a distinction in men that would forever be the difference in history's garland of treasured follies. As a matter of fact, his cadre of fellow wizards were all putting similar moves on their beards as well. The practice would evince thoughtfulness - sagacity, even - if they didn't do it all the time. Standing in line at the bank. Shooing squirrels from bird feeders. Few occasions were safe. Zazzerpan inspected the clue. A single piece of evidence cradled in his coriaceous old man palms. It was a human bone, not striking in the tale it told alone so much as that told by the thousands like it festooning the marshy soil of the mass grave. The grisly expanse bore the texture of a decadent dessert, like one of Smarny's formidable custard trifles wobbled out on wheels for the holidays, to the dismay of a small nation. "You're certain of this?" asked Frigglish. Despite what he was doing with his beard, he was, in fact, immersed in meaningful contemplation. "I am afraid I am becoming more so with each terrible tick groused by that gaudy timepiece slung around your neck." In case it wasn't clear, Frigglish wore a clock Zazzerpan didn't care for. It was magic. "The massacre of Syrs Gnelph was not as written." "What has you convinced it was the hand of our disciples in this blackness?" Executus chimed in. "I believe... I..." a fat face stammered, eyes darting with the guilt of a thief in the throes of an unraveling alibi. "I can summon a... more pressing line of inquiry..." No, Smarny. Nobody was in the mood for a sticky bundt loaf just now. Zazzerpan's ears fell insubstantial to any line of inquiry, pastry-oriented or otherwise. His abstruse contour carved a pondering shape in the fog carpeting centuries-dead. His eleven contemporaries too embraced the muted consternation of their great Predicant Scholar. Few wizards kept sharper adumbratives or read them with such lucidity. When Zazzerpan treated men with silence it was seldom unrepaid by the wise and reasonable alike. It was harrowing to entertain. Zazzerpan the Learned's storied Complacency of Wizards was marked for grander descendence. Disciples hand-picked, vetted by Ockite the Bonafide and tested by Gastrell the Munificent. The twelve sweetest, most studious children a pair of elderly eyes could give their sparkle. Not the ragged guttersnipe so oft-harvested by the common Obscenity, those vituperative little beggars with hearts to corrupt as dropped bananas brown. That these chosen youngsters would turn was not merely unthinkable, but something of a roundhouse to the temporal bones of the Upper Indifference's high chamber of Softskulled Prophets. His wisdom-savaged brow pruned further with recount of his many lessons to wouldbe successors. Lessons to advance humanity's elucidation and prosperity, an outcome this bleak trail now painfully obviated. There were few puzzles The Learned could not suspend and dissect in the recondite manifold beneath his extremely expensive pointy hat. Daring to pitch his cherished pupils in with the foul melange of history's rogues, the heretofore abstract scourge that built up civilizations with ungodly magic and tore them down with joyful malice, would prove an intellectual trespass to make his calcium-deficient bones quake. And more daring yet was the only question that now mattered. Could a bunch of bearded, scraggly old men in preposterous outfits hunt them down? He didn't have an answer. Only a simple observation so blunt and uncharacteristically jejune for the lauded sage it was breathtaking in its selfevidency. "We're going to need more wands." (Wow. Think of something better.)

Wow.

Dave is understandably intimidated by this, and decides to stop reading for now. He puts his copy of the SBURB Beta in the notebook to act as a bookmark, and leaves both books in his room for later.

Then he checks in on Rose, who is burning her version of the MEOW book.

CHEL: Dave inquires about the wizard story.

TG: i thought you hated wizards TG: whats the deal with that TT: I like wizards. TT: What I don't like is my mother's obsession with feigning interest in them to antagonize me. TG: oh man thats so messed up TG: that you think that TG: she probably digs wizards for real just like you and youre blowing shit out of proportion like pretty much always

Once again, we see exactly how fucked-up Rose’s relationship with her mother is. Mom Lalonde has somehow managed to raise a child in such a way that Rose interprets everything her mother does as an attempt to mock and provoke her.

ARE YOU TRYING TO BE FUNNY?: 16

TIER: The Lalondes are pretty damn dysfunctional as a family unit, and considering the zany nature of early Homestuck and its world's weird logic that is saying something indeed.

CHEL: As for the MEOW book, it turns out the gods from the Furthest Ring informed Rose while she was sleeping that the book’s contents are highly dangerous and must be destroyed. Said gods dwell in the sky above Derse; Dave’s never heard or seen them, but Rose points out his dreamself is always wearing shades, listening to music, and distracted by Cal.

TT: You're the prince of the moon. TG: ........ TT: I'm sure they've been meaning to seek a royal audience. TG: ..........................

Davesprite chats to Rose next. She protests at being spied on by two people, but Davesprite asks her why she burned the codebook. She didn’t need to in the future, but according to her future memories of the gods absorbed from her future dreamself, Davesprite appeared to make it relevant by traveling to the past. A sinister and familiar face watches through Dave’s window, soon proving to be the Draconian Dignitary, while Dave and Davesprite awkwardly spout elaborate mixed metaphors about how safe they are, until Dave, embarrassed, says "so i guess ill go back down and burn that book".

As any savvy reader could guess, he’s too late. The prompt suggests that he should go back in time to stop the books from being stolen, but, well...

It looks like you already tried that. GORE GALORE: 10

Dave looks completely undisturbed, but whether he is undisturbed is a different matter. He flings the corpse out the window into the lava, claiming it would freak Jade out.

John, in the lab, presses a button, causing the first monitor to depict his town, shortly before his birth. There is a Betty Crocker factory and a shopping mall, neither of which are in the town now. Zooming in locks a target over Nanna Egbert, who is taking a stroll with Dad. A meteor looms; this looks like it’s going to go very badly, considering the target lock, but it hits the factory instead. When John presses the glowing blue button, a PARADOX GHOST IMPRINT of Nanna is created; refer back to Rose’s experimentation in the lab and the green slime blobs. This time, the slime is sucked into a tube.

The next monitor does something similar with Grandpa Harley on his ship, and the next the same with Bro Strider, who stands over a meteor crater on an unseasonably warm day; something of an understatement, as the sky is the same lurid red and the sun the same glowing spiral that they were during the Strider bros’ battle even though it’s December. Bro is, regardless, prepared for the occasion with a small pair of outrageously awesome shades. What he needs these for will soon be revealed.

The fourth monitor goes back to John’s home town, a gigantic crater where the factory once was. In the shopping mall, Dad Egbert stands outside a joke shop, while Nanna apparently remains inside, busying herself with a tall bookshelf, a ladder, and a rather hefty unabridged joke book.

Mom Lalonde, clutching the infant Rose and wearing a rather snazzy long Jaspersprite-pink scarf, has come to town to study the meteor impact at the request of Grandpa Harley while he explores elsewhere. Unfortunately, now is the time a meteor chooses to strike Nanna’s location, destroying the shop.

An old mother lost today, but a new son gained.

Wait for it.

Mom Lalonde flees, dropping her scarf, which Dad Egbert picks up and slightly creepily sniffs. The monitor continues tracking her, and John captures her paradox imprint too, starting the machines whirring away...

Four babies abruptly appear on the pad, already diapered and bespectacled and old enough to sit up unaided. Convenient, no?

When the kitten jumps on a green button, the slime is blended in pairs; Nanna’s and Grandpa’s, and Mom’s and Bro’s. More blinking lights ensue, and another four extremely familiar-looking babies appear.

BRIGHT: I will say this: These kids are adorable.

While babies clamber over him, John vaults up his echeladder to the rank of Ectobiolobabysitter, acquiring one million Boondollars in the process. This automatically converts itself to a Boonbuck, the weight of which smashes his Porkhollow.

Finding out just what is going on here will have to wait, as the comic takes a brief detour to a battleship navigating the Medium nearby. There’s someone very familiar at the wheel…

An old man has much to do before he returns to Earth, dies, gets stuffed by his adopted-yet-biological daughter-slash-grand-daughter, and stuck in front of a fireplace.

Also aboard the ship are Dad Egbert and Mom Lalonde. Dad returns Mom’s scarf, and the two of them hold hands as Grandpa Harley pilots the ship towards Skaia.

We return to the lab, where John has his hands full with the babies. One of them has managed to break one of the paradox slime jars from earlier, but appears uninjured. Also, CG’s trolling him again.

CHEL: CG makes mention of the ULTIMATE RIDDLE, but John is confused because CG hasn’t told him about that yet. He uses an ableist description in explaining.

CG: SEE I KIND OF PAINTED MYSELF INTO A CORNER. CG: I STARTED TROLLING YOU AT THE END, JUST BEFORE THE RIFT. CG: AND THEN JUMPED BACK A LITTLE. CG: AND NOW I GUESS I'VE BECOME RAILROADED INTO WORKING BACKWARDS HERE. CG: UNLESS I WANT TO DO THE SORT OF DUMB SCHIZOPHRENIC HOPPING AROUND LIKE THE OTHERS. CLOCKWORK PROBLEMATYKKS: 18

… why wouldn’t you just hop right back to the start and work in a linear fashion from there?

TIER: Because CG excels at making things complicated for himself and is fundamentally rather stubborn and set in his ways/actions. Like he's made his bed, he's gonna lie in it.

CHEL: Anyway, CG banters with John for a bit, and then informs him that he (John) has arrived in the Veil and created infant versions of the players and their guardians.

EB: so they are like cloned copies of us? CG: NO. CG: THEY ARE LITERALLY YOU AND YOUR GUARDIANS. CG: PARADOX CLONES.

A paradox clone, we are informed, is A CORRECTLY CLONED DUPLICATE THAT WILL INEVITABLY GO BACK IN TIME AND BECOME THE ORIGINAL TARGET THAT WAS CLONED. The game worlds contain many clues hinting at the ultimate destiny of the players to create their own selves through the game, and the only way things could possibly go involved the players creating themselves, or else the game session would never happen.

CG: WHICH IS ESPECIALLY PATHETIC SINCE PARADOX SPACE APPARENTLY WENT TO ALL THIS TROUBLE TO MAKE YOU JUST TO HAVE YOU FAIL AND DIE. CG: REALLY THERE'S NOTHING MORE TRAGIC THAN THESE NULL SESSIONS FULL OF KIDS ENTERING THE GAME AND FULFILLING SOME COSMIC DESTINY SHIT JUST TO GET WIPED OUT AND LEAVE BEHIND AN EMPTY POINTLESS INCIPISPHERE FOR ALL ETERNITY.

Tragic and completely unnecessary, when there are millions of perfectly good humans already in existence who could just as easily create winning game sessions without this aspect of it. Here we see another aspect of Homestuck which hasn’t come up quite so clearly before; an extremely weird take on determinism. I’m not sure if this is meant as a parody of Chosen One plotlines or if Hussie just thought it sounded cool, but it’s uncomfortable. As it turns out, only clones created by SBurb have a hope in hell of winning the game, and even they fail most of the time. Regular people who enter the game to save themselves from the destruction of the planet will fail and die there, which honestly is not really selling this game as a good thing, since it’s what causes the destruction of the planet in the first place. I’ve had actual, legitimate, honest-to-God nightmares about this aspect of SBurb, and I’m not ashamed to admit it.

FAILURE ARTIST: I think many fans wish to play SBurb. There’s lots of fan sessions and fake GameFAQs and custom Lands. Yet in reality SBurb is not a fun time. This is cosmic horror. I think Hussie is sometimes playing it for horror and sometimes he ignores the implications.

Then again, some people want to live on the troll planet, which is straight-up dystopia.

CHEL: Again, it isn’t really clear what he’s going for. Is it supposed to be terrifying or did he just think it would be clever? Does even Hussie know what he was going for? While it’s not exactly a joke, I think it’s worth another point here:

ARE YOU TRYING TO BE FUNNY?: 17

It might be a joke. As I said, I could see it as a parody of or playing with the Chosen One narrative. In this case, literally only the chosen ones have any hope, for reasons that are not down to any merit of their own. But if it is, there isn’t really much made of it.

Of course, the reasons people want to live on the troll planet are reasonable when taken alone, but a) contradicted every alternate scene and b) not a fair trade for everything else that’s going on there. But we’ll get to that when we actually see it. And I admit, SBurb powers would be fun, but not worth the loss of my entire species.

TIER: To me at least it's fun in the same way wondering how I'd fare as a wizard during Harry Potter's years at Hogwarts, or a ninja in Naruto is. Fundamentally you'd rather want to never encounter this sorta stuff even if you get some swanky I guess powers, but the mental exercise of it is quite honestly, really fun. The game has quite a lot of interesting things to poke around with, from lands to quests to what your co-players are up to. And I'm def guilty of playing trollsona games, because the world presented is just really fascinating in its gruesome glory.

Never want to have to actually go through it, Lord knows I'd be dead within the first ten minutes if I'm super lucky, but stories about it are pretty neat.

CHEL: That’s true, but the paradox clones thing seems almost to be taunting us for having that mentality. We can pretend we’d be the super-smart strong competent ones who make it, but in this universe if we demonstrably have parents we’re doomed to die for nothing and there’s nothing we can do about it.

BRIGHT: Another fun thing about this is that it fundamentally isolates the players from the rest of humanity. If you think about it, unless they have children with a non-player, they are completely unrelated to anyone else on Earth.

CHEL: And they can’t have kids with a non-player unless something thoroughly horrible happened, because as is stated later SBurb specifically takes its players away and destroys their planet around the point of their puberty.

BRIGHT: Although I think John is actually related to Dad — as far as we’re told, Dad is in fact Nanna’s biological son, which makes him genetically John’s half-brother.

They also miss out on (going by how active the babies are) the first couple of years of life. Those two years are crucial in terms of brain development. SBURB probably controls for that, but it wouldn’t be surprising if there were negative consequences.

Oh, and if you’re a player, your existence means your civilisation is doomed. Lovely!

CHEL: And do the players ever feel any guilt or conflict over this? Do they hell. It doesn’t even occur to them, and I’m pretty sure it didn’t occur to Hussie either.

TIER: Welcome to the hell game that is SBURB; it's fundamentally pretty fucked up! It runs on a hellish scale of "things have already been predetermined" and I am Big Fear™.

CHEL: That’ll come up later, too, but there it’s obviously intentional nightmare fuel, and not at all a bad use of time travel as a story device.

CG, meanwhile, explains that he was the one to create his session’s players. With twelve of them it was a bit more complicated, but troll lineages are complicated anyway, and we’ll find out how later.

The babies are still getting all over the lab. Note that they're repeatedly referred to as "little pink monkeys". Then again, calling a non-white child a monkey really wouldn't be good.

WHITE SBURB POSTMODERNISM: 18

John’s infant self has latched onto the Sassacre book, while his infant Nanna is sitting in Dad Egbert’s old hat. Baby Bro is napping in the lap of Lil Cal; that baby’s braver than I am, I can tell you that. Baby Dave is sitting on Maplehoof, and baby Grandpa has found a pair of pistols. John does not take them away from him, or even seem to notice he has them.

HURRY UP AND DO NOTHING: 7

BRIGHT: Earlier baby Bro broke one of the paradox slime cylinders and was sitting in it. John is pretty astoundingly bad at keeping babies away from obvious hazards.

TIER: That or the equipment is probably not sturdy enough to make it past an inspection into faulty management.

CHEL: But then he’s distracted by CG trolling him again, at least this time moving forward in time from the last conversation.

CG, like GA, apparently fails to grasp sarcasm...

EB: we had this great dare going. EB: to see who could be the least helpful and informative. EB: and you totally lost, dude! EB: you were hella helpful. CG: I WAS OBVIOUSLY JUST SPITING YOUR STUPID POINTLESS HUMAN DARE. [...] CG: ANYWAY, HOW COULD WE HAVE MADE A DARE IF I'M MOVING BACKWARDS ON YOUR TIMELINE.

… which is weird because moments later he uses it himself.

EB: do you even have elves? CG: YES, LET'S COMPARE WHICH FANTASY CREATURES THAT DON'T EXIST WE BOTH DO OR DON'T NOT HAVE. CG: WHAT A GREAT FUCKING IDEA, JOHN!

Hussie seems to waver back and forth a lot on whether trolls get sarcasm or not, in general. Since he’s contradicting himself with troll worldbuilding, that’s a point.

WHITE SBURB POSTMODERNISM: 19

Banter aside, he informs John that the babies are sent to Earth via meteors during the Reckoning.

BRIGHT: How do they survive the impact? Some of those meteor strikes destroy buildings. Those are some ridiculously resilient kids.

CHEL: Cut to AR, who is still having fun on the rocketboard, until he runs into a frog temple atop a meteor. This is apparently horrifying and illegal by his standards.

You are going to throw whoever is responsible into the slammer. You always call jail the slammer when you are extra angry at crimes.

Inside, he finds an empty time capsule, like Jade’s, some complicated machinery, and a monitor screen showing a greyscale house with a very familiar bespectacled female infant and dirty old hat in it. The year depicted, says the monitor, is 1910. Enter none other than Colonel Sassacre himself.

Eight days prior, the orphan girl was taken in by an aristocratic southern colonel and legendary humorist. He recovered the young lady from a crater where a bakery once stood, operated by the man's wife, a notable baked goods baroness.

An explosion outside leads them both to a crater, where once stood the doghouse of the colonel’s pet, Halley, but before the Colonel can investigate further he’s shot through the heart.

This is exactly why babies should not be allowed to dual-wield flintlock pistols.

BRIGHT: I remain baffled as to how Baby Grandpa can even lift those things, let alone pull the triggers.

CHEL: Baby Grandpa crawls from the crater, and Halley the dog turns out to be alive.

The young boy has difficulty pronouncing the name though. Sounds more like "Harley" when he says it.

How does he know it? The colonel died before he even noticed the baby was there. Is baby Nanna speaking well enough to tell him yet? I guess he could be told later, as Sassacre wasn’t in fact their only sapient guardian...

Thirteen years later, the boy develops a taste for adventure. He and his guardian bid farewell. His sister is sad. She will be left all alone with the wicked pastry baroness. She can handle it, he tells her. He believes in her.

It isn’t clear why she didn’t go with him, or leave under her own power. They don’t seem to be imprisoned, as the panel depicts them outside on grass with no restraints or guards over them, so it’s not a matter of only one of them being able to get out. That’s a point for Nanna not trying and a point for Grandpa not bringing her:

HURRY UP AND DO NOTHING: 9

That dog is also remarkably lively, considering it, unlike Bec, is an entirely normal dog, it was an adult thirteen years previously, and it’s somehow supporting the weight of an entire teenager on its back (again, please don’t try this at home, you can break the dog’s spine that way).

FAILURE ARTIST: As we’ve said, Colonel Sassacre is a thinly-veiled Mark Twain expy. The real Mark Twain died in 1910 at the same time Halley’s Comet was in the sky. It’s a cute historical gag having him be literally killed by a comet but it does muck up the timeline. Nanna must have been a senior citizen when Dad was born. Perhaps he’s adopted?

CHEL: The other option is that Dad is a senior citizen now, but surely John would have wondered why his dad is so ridiculously old. I think it’s just that thing in mainstream comics and cartoons where adults are split into Old and Not Old, and the parents are normal ages for parents but the grandparents would have to be in their hundreds going by the gags. See how Scrooge McDuck in the DuckTales reboot is over a hundred and forty years old yet his sister’s son is still a youngish adult.

AR notes that the appearifier is centred over Halley the dog, but hears someone coming. It proves to be the Draconian Dignitary. AR hides and watches, noting that DD is carrying Rose’s notebooks and Dave’s beta envelopes. DD keeps the MEOW book, but throws away the other items. Complacency of the Learned lands on the floor, and the envelopes land in the time capsule, which sets to bloom in four hundred and thirteen million years.

Meanwhile, John talks to CG while infant Mom Lalonde pets the mutant kitten. John asks if there’s any way to delay the Reckoning, but nope; CG warns him that the smallest meteors will start going in only a few minutes.

EB: ok, well you keep saying how doomed we are and how all this bad stuff happens sooner, but you never say why! EB: what happens in our game that's different from yours that makes things go so badly? CG: JACK NOIR.

The Jack Noir from the trolls’ game session allied with them and helped them dethrone and exile the Black Queen, while the one from the humans’ session, as you may recall, killed the Black Monarchs and gained their powers, and is currently rampaging through the Incipisphere. John asks if it’s the same Jack Noir, but CG explains.

CG: SO LET'S SAY YOU PLAY YOUR BANDICOOT AND I PLAY MY BANDICOOT. CG: THEY ARE ESSENTIALLY THE SAME BANDICOOT, SAME APPEARANCE AND DESIGN AND BEHAVIORS. CG: BUT THEY ARE STILL COMPLETELY SEPARATE BANDICOOTS ON SEPARATE SCREENS. CG: SO WE BOTH HAVE OUR OWN ASS BANDICOOTS TO OURSELVES, THE SAME BUT DIFFERENT. CG: OUR JACKS ARE THE SAME BUT DIFFERENT TOO. CG: SAME GUY, DIFFERENT CIRCUMSTANCES AND OUTCOMES. CG: OUR JACK TRUMPED THE QUEEN, BUT GOT NO FURTHER. CG: YOUR JACK GOT THE BEST OF BOTH OF THEM, AND IS NOW SOMETHING HIGHER THAN A QUEEN OR A KING… EB: like an ace? CG: SURE OK.

The trolls don’t know what went so differently to cause the two Jacks to behave so differently, but CG doesn’t think it matters by now. John interrupts him, deciding to do yet another Con Air ending re-enactment.

Watch on YouTube

Recap: montage of Con Air posters and images to the tune of “How Do I Live Without You”. John hands the thoroughly disgusting Con Air bunny to the protesting baby Rose, while CG watches huffily on his monitor. Jade demands a toy too, so John hands her the bunny he received from Rose in an excessively dramatic fashion. CG frustratedly hits himself in the head. In scribbly crayon-like drawings, Casey the salamander performs a drum solo with glowing blue mushrooms for drums and the Con Air plane crashes. More Con Air imagery, John embraces baby Jade and the baby Lalondes while sobbing; GC points and laughs at him over CG’s shoulder and they have a slapfight. John imagines himself in Nic Cage’s iconic wifebeater and mullet and performs an air guitar solo.

TIER: Lemme tell ya, as someone who's only experience with this darn movie is whatever pops up courtesy of John this sequence is just a trip and a half. Possibly a higher number.

CHEL: Cut to end-of-act curtains; they open on the next page, declaring a PSYCHE; there are more pages to go.

Cut to Dave’s hands, covered in the dead Dave’s blood. I… guess he’s supposed to be staring at them in shock? It’s impossible to tell through his shades. For all I know he could be worried about the cleanup. GC trolls him and they banter creepily, with her demanding to know what his blood smells like and him taunting her about her blindness.

TG: just him and me TG: havin a see party TG: like a couple of eagle eyed bros peepin shit up into the wee hours GC: D4V3 GC: C4N 1 COM3 TO YOUR S33 P4RTY? TG: i guess but youll have to be careful not to stumble around bumping into all the gorgeous masterpieces hanging around everywhere TG: god so beautiful to look at with my perfect eyesight GC: C4N 1 L1CK TH3 P41NT1NGS? TG: yeah thats fine

Neither of them seems to take it particularly hard. If there was narrative around the dialogue, I think we’d get a better grasp of how Dave feels. Lacking much body language or punctuation, tone is a bit tricky to get.

FAILURE ARTIST: There’s a character later who gets a lot of grief for insulting her blindness but reading what John, Dave, and CG say I don’t know how that character could be worse.

CHEL: AT, meanwhile, is trolling Jade, rather politely. He even takes time to ask if she’s having a good nap. She’s worried about John’s dreamself not waking, and AT scrolls into his view of the future timeline, but can’t find John awake, nor see into his dreams. Jade, however, will wake up soon, and she thanks him for this report. Unfortunately, when Jade wakes up she will be in danger, and AT can’t see any further. He tells her CG wants to talk to her about her exploding robot. He can’t see whether it exploded or not because there are a lot of explosions, but asking future Jade shows it did, and that she declared CG to be a pretty nice guy, which surprises AT since he doesn’t think CG is particularly nice. Jade says she thinks AT is nice too, and asks why he’s the only one who talks to her while she’s asleep.

AT: bECAUSE YOU HAVE A ROBOT, tO LET YOU SAY THINGS THAT HAPPEN, oN PROSPIT, AT: aND i'M CURIOUS, AT: bECAUSE THE ONLY TIME i EVER HAD FUN PLAYING THIS GAME WAS WHEN i WAS ASLEEP, AT: bUT NOW ALL OUR DREAM SELVES ARE DEAD, AT: }:'(

AT happily remembers his own time on Prospit, and we cut back to Rose, being trolled by GA despite the fact that Rose is obviously in the middle of an epic magic battle. The conversation is understandably chilly, and GA still hasn’t figured out that “Dumb Rose” as opposed to “Smart Rose” was John rather than a bizarre roleplaying scenario.

GC continues trolling Dave. He asks her how she operates a computer without sight.

GC: 1M SORRY D4V3 TH4T YOU W1LL N3V3R 3XP3R13NC3 TH3 S3NSORY BOUQU3T TH4T 1 3NJOY 3V3RY D4Y GC: TH4T 1 3NSCONC3 MYS3LF 1N L1K3 4 W4RM 4ND COMFY B4THROB3 M4D3 OF FL4VOR 4ND M3LODY TG: oh ok TG: so the dumbest and most far fetched explanation imaginable ok got it

Yes, pretty much. This brings me to a Problematykks point; GC is supposed to be blind, but it really doesn’t seem to affect her in any way at all. Its workaround is ridiculously convenient and effective, and while I’m not blind myself, I know many people with physical disabilities hate it when fiction does this. I know I would be pissed off if a piece of fiction showed an easy and convenient way to not have autism anymore. (Horrible, horrible memories of someone back in the days of Livejournal’s Fanficrants of a fic in which autism was somehow cured by having a foursome. I don’t remember how that was supposed to work.) “She’s a space alien” only goes so far in explaining it. Why even bother making her blind if it’s not going to affect her in any way?

CLOCKWORK PROBLEMATYKKS: 19

FAILURE ARTIST: She’s the least blind blind person in media. Characters like Daredevil from Marvel Comics and Toph from Avatar the Last Airbender have a Disability Superpower but at the end of the day they still can’t do things like read printed text. GC has no disadvantages.

BRIGHT: She can apparently smell and taste photons.

Which raises the question why none of the other trolls ever show a heightened sense of smell or taste. If GC can learn to interpret smells as colours, her sense of smell must have been that strong all along, and there’s no indication in the text that she’s biologically more sensitive than her companions. Trolls must be better at following a trail than bloodhounds.

CHEL: Synaesthesia which makes one strongly associate colours with smells is a thing, and synaesthesia is generally the word the fandom uses to explain Terezi’s ability, but you still have to actually see the colours for that to work. If she was only mostly blind and was picking up blurry colour patches, I could buy it (and that is how the fandom tends to do it with human AUs), but not if she’s supposed to be completely blind, and she still wouldn’t be able to read text that way.

BRIGHT: Time for another animation, and for a hop back into the recent past.

Watch on YouTube

As the meteor locked onto Dave’s house approaches, Dave climbs up the tower to retrieve his cruxite egg from the nest his sprite made. Unfortunately the sprite attacks him, knocking him and the egg off the tower. Bro Strider appears on top of the approaching meteor and slices it in half with his katana; the two halves are diverted by the blow and strike different areas of the city. Dave’s fall is broken by a rocket board, which is presumably how Bro got up to the meteor in the first place. (How did he manage to aim it to intercept Dave’s fall? Wouldn’t it take longer to get from the meteor to Dave than it takes for Dave to fall from the top of the tower to the roof of the building? We shall never know.) The egg hatches, and Dave is transported into the Medium. There’s no sign of what happens to Bro.

CHEL: Yet more cartoon physics around the Strider bros.

BRIGHT: I don’t know if we mentioned this earlier, but although Dave and Bro live in an apartment block that presumably housed multiple people, only Dave’s apartment gets transported into the Medium. Everyone else in the complex is left to die on Earth. SBURB is sociopathic.

Elsewhere in the Medium, back in the present, Grandpa’s ship is approaching Skaia, with Mom Lalonde and Dad Egbert on board.

Down on Skaia, Jack Noir draws his sword and slaughters the army WV raised to march on the Black King. WV cowers, but Jack leaves him alive. He then uses the Black Queen’s ring to send some sort of giant red tentacle attack through Skaia, slaughtering Dersite and Prospitian forces indiscriminately.

CHEL: Are they tentacles? I always thought of them as some sort of lightning lasers.

BRIGHT: That makes a lot more sense!

In the ectobiology lab, as the clock ticks down to the Reckoning, the babies are teleported to asteroids around the lab. There must be an air supply in this asteroid belt — characters are consistently shown as being able to survive outside.

CHEL: Maybe it’s just the players’ natural badassery. Batman Can Breathe In Space.

BRIGHT: On Skaia, CD makes his way through Jack’s slaughter fest, which has now ravaged a sizeable chunk of planet, and hands him the White King’s sceptre. Jack raises the sceptre and initiates the Reckoning. The meteorites start to vanish into Skaia’s defence portals. In the frog temple, DD somehow combines the MEOW genetic code with a paradox clone of Halley, creating Jade’s guardian Bec. Bec’s creation damages the laboratory equipment in the temple.

Cut to Jade, who is snoozing peacefully while her dream self explores Prospit. She looks up at Skaia, to see Jack’s shadow passing in front of it. Jack launches his tentacle attack on Prospit, slaughtering the inhabitants, then severs the chain attaching Prospit’s moon to the planet. The moon begins falling towards Skaia.

Jack then flies to LOHAC, where he encounters Bro Strider on one of the turntable mesas. Unexpectedly, Bro is able to give Jack an even fight. After a few exchanges, he drives his katana into the mesa; some sort of golden light emanates from the crack, and Bro absconds.

Wait, how did Bro get onto LOHAC? How did he survive the meteor impacts?

TIER: The ol' "rule of cool". As long as something is sufficiently "absolutely kickass!!" the rules of reality and physics can go sit on the bleachers twiddling their thumbs for all they fucking matter. There's a reason early fandom pinned down Bro as an unorthodox but immensely cool older brother type guy for so long. Because with what little information was available before we got bludgeoned with "No actually he was the absolute fucking worst thing to happen to Dave and fucked him up for life" that was the general impression he gave off.

CHEL: This and the meteor splitting are yet more reason not to take Bro’s treatment of Dave seriously; this is a world in which ludicrous animesque badassery rules the day, and physically impossible feats of battle occur every five minutes. Forcing a child to go through extensive and excessive sword training in brutal heat in a precarious place, possibly every day, ought by rights to be normal there, and I can’t believe he was physically hurt by swordfighting when he survived a meteor collision as an infant. Besides, training that extensive quite possibly could be the only thing that would keep Dave alive in these circumstances.

ARE YOU TRYING TO BE FUNNY?: 18

BRIGHT: There’s a random Squiddles interlude, and then we return to Skaia.

John’s unconscious dream self has fallen out of Prospit’s moon as it plummets towards Skaia. Jade tries shaking him awake, and then slaps him, but to no avail. At the last moment, she throws him out of the path of the moon, and her dream self is then killed when it lands on her. Back on Earth, her dreambot overloads and explodes.

CHEL: Taking her tower room with it; Jade’s sleeping body plummets towards the earth.

BRIGHT: The moon leaves a gigantic crater in Skaia. John’s now-conscious dreamself hovers above it.

The babies vanish through the defence portals to Earth.

CHEL: Each takes an item with them. John takes the Sassacre book, Rose the first Con Air bunny, Dave rides Maplehoof, Jade takes the bunny Rose gave to John (which is in fact the Con Air bunny plus several years and repairs), Nanna sits inside Dad’s old hat, Mom takes the mutant kitten, Bro sleeps in the lap of Li’l Cal, and Grandpa dual wields the flintlock pistols he should not be allowed.

BRIGHT: Dave and Rose reach the Gates above their houses and set out to explore their Lands. We close on an eerie shot of Bec outside the frog temple on Jade’s island at night.

CHEL: Jade’s tower room is blown to bits, and a truly enormous meteor hovers over the scene.

Curtains close. End of Act 4. Before Act 5, we receive a message from Rose, via her GameFAQ.

[ZZZZ] Rose: Egress. This is my final entry. My co-players and I have made every earnest attempt, with occasional relapse, to play this game the right way.

Really? You haven’t been in the game for more than a couple of hours and Jade still isn’t in at all! Maybe consider that the fact that not all your players are in the game yet when you wonder why it isn’t working?

I have been meticulous in documenting the process to help our peers and successors through the trials should we fail. In my hubris I believed these classes were relegated to the Earth-bound, but in even this quaint supposition I was in error. Our otherworldly antagonists have assured us of our inevitable failure repeatedly, while the gods whisper corroboration in my sleep. I believe them now. I just blew up my first gate. I’m not sure why I did it, really. I am not playing by the rules anymore. I will fly around this candy-coated rock and comb the white sand until I find answers. No one can tell me our fate can’t be repaired. We’ve come too far. I jumped out of the way of a burning fucking tree, for God’s sake.

I can see her point. The game is horrible and should be stopped. On the other hand, I’d at least attempt to spend more than one day investigating it before trying to break it. Randomly destroying shit is more likely to make things much worse than anything else.

I have used a spell to rip this walkthrough from Earth’s decaying network, and sealed it in one of the servers floating in the Furthest Ring. The gods may disperse the signal throughout the cosmos as they wish. Perhaps it will be of use to past or future species who like us have been ensnared by Skaia’s malevolent tendrils. In case it wasn’t clear, magic is real. Pardon my egress. You’re on your own now.

This note is signed with a glowing multicoloured “RL” and revealed to be emitted from a purple box with an aerial, floating in space. It seems that’s how their internet’s still working.

FAILURE ARTIST: The internet seems to be a magical dimension in Homestuck and not something that’s part of physical infrastructure.

CHEL: Hours in the future, WV lands in the desert remains of Earth, wrapped up in John’s old ghost-patterned bedsheet, which is still white. A villein becomes a vagabond. In his memory, he tears up an effigy of Jack Noir… where’d he get it? Did the game create it for some reason? Anyway, John’s blanket falls on him from the sky as Prospit plummets; WV calls it a RAG OF SOULS. Adorably melodramatic.

John’s awoken dreamself gazes sadly at Jade’s deceased one, which for some reason isn’t actually under the rubble of Prospit and appears to still be three-dimensional. There’s no excessive blood splatter like with the dead Dave, which is good, not too over the top. He retrieves the Queen’s ring from her hand. Was he told at any point that it’s important? Because if he doesn’t know, I’m not sure robbing the dead is very heroic. He sees an image of himself flying over the battlefield in a large cloud above him; in the vision he’s near a castle, so he goes to seek it out.

On Earth, PM wraps herself up in an old Prospit banner. A mistress becomes a mendicant. In her memories, she has beheaded the Hegemonic Brute and is arranging a meeting with Jack Noir. He arrives and she presents the crowns; smirking evilly, he honours their bargain, and the Courtyard Droll brings her the green parcel. She brings it to the castle from John’s vision as he arrives there, hands over the box, and angrily walks away.

FAILURE ARTIST: She’s Honor Before Reason (maybe she’s programmed that way) but she has the right reaction. This is a lot to go through to deliver a package.

CHEL: Inside the box is a letter from Jade’s unknown pen pal, who writes in dark green and a distinctive jolly-hockey-sticks dialect, with a tendency to ramble off on tangents about movies and wrestling.

Anyway you should listen to jade from here on out john because she sure seems to know whats best for you. Whatever your adventure throws at you im sure shell tell you you can handle it. She believes in you.

And another letter from Jade.

even though its super late and you probably went through a lot of trouble to get it, i really hope this present cheers you up! you looked so sad while you were reading my letter. um... which is to say, the one you are reading now.

She explains that in her dreams she goes to Prospit and John’s sleeping dream self is there, and that’s where she gets her visions. She hopes he likes his present, and says her penpal is fun…

john i am REALLY looking forward to seeing you when you wake up!!!!! its been nice playing with my prospitian friends and all, but also kind of lonely knowing you were in the other tower sleeping and having lousy dreams. :( im not sure where i am when you are reading this but im sure ill make it down to where you are soon! (jeez how did you get down there??? oh well ill find out) i cant wait to fly around the moon with you and show you all my favorite places. itll be so much fun!!!!!!!!! :D <3 jade

Ow. I think this is the only time John cries in the entire comic.

A Single Tear(™) is a bit of an understated reaction to the death of one of your best friends who you just recently learned is also your twin sister, but to be fair, John isn’t left with very much time to react, as next panel Jack Noir’s sword is pointed at his face.

BRIGHT: John knows about dream selves and waking selves by now, I think?

CHEL: He knows they’re a thing but I don’t think he knows they count as backup lives. AT told Jade dream selves can die separately from regular selves but I don’t think anyone told John.

FAILURE ARTIST: Jack Noir wants the ring, but then he’s stopped by Jade’s gift: a robotic bunny wielding multiple weapons.

They line up for a fight.

Hours in the future, on a destroyed planet, AR wraps police tape around himself and becomes a Aimless Renegade. Before the disaster, he went to the Veil, where he found a sleeping John. He saves John by putting him on a rocket board.

Back to the robotic bunny. Jack Noir flies away from the fight. Grandpa’s battleship lands and Grandpa takes away Jade’s body. Mom and Dad disembark the ship and wave goodbye as it leaves. Grandpa cries a Single Tear as he transports Jade’s already taxidermed body. Did he have a machine?

CHEL: For that matter, why isn’t he helping anyone who’s actually still alive while he’s there?

HURRY UP AND DO NOTHING: 10

FAILURE ARTIST: Nope, transporting a dead body is more important.

Again going back, White Queen leaves Prospit. On landing, she becomes Windswept Questant and wanders the Earth. We go forward years later. She repairs the laboratory and meets up with AR, WV, and PM. WV’s homemade spear hides the ring.

John watches this scene through the clouds of Skaia. He looks at the ring in his hand. In another cloud, there’s Jade’s laboratory. We close in on it and inside is The Fourth Wall. It isn’t turned on, but we are still lead to Andrew Hussie, banging away on a computer keyboard as he recaps the plot for a second time.

CHEL: Which we shall do as well when we’re done with this section, because it’s insanely hard to keep track of everything.

FAILURE ARTIST: Andrew Hussie says Nanna’s comet landed 99 years before John’s “birth” so he has some clue about the age but still doesn’t see it odd that a woman that age has a son who is probably only in his thirties.

CHEL: As I said, it’s also possible Dad was really old too, but that’s never really suggested. Not to mention, since they were brought into existence as toddlers, shouldn’t the kids be noticeably older than the ages given for them? John should be biologically fourteen to fifteen by now and at that age that can make a visible difference. I know the art style doesn’t really give clues, but no one I’ve seen has ever pointed that out in fanfic either.

FAILURE ARTIST: Newborns aren’t distinctive looking and can’t really do the cute things toddlers do. People in TV and movies regularly give birth to six month old infants so it’s not strange.

CHEL: True, but this isn’t TV, it’s a comic, and they don’t have to use an actual infant as a prop here.

BRIGHT: Possibly it’s intentional. Among other things, we see the newly-created players survive short trips through vacuum, crash-land on Earth without even minor injuries, and handle weapons they shouldn’t be able to lift for another four or five years. This could work if players have superhuman abilities (that is, beyond the classpect system). If that was the intent then it really should be made more explicit, though.

Of course, what it really boils down to is that Homestuck runs off Rule of Cool and Rule of Funny, and occasionally breaks down on examination as a result.

On the whole this is a solid Act, I think! We have a lot of new stuff happening, more characters get introduced, and we find out some more about the trolls. It’s much less rambling than Act 1.

COUNTS ALL THE LUCK: 0 ARE YOU TRYING TO BE FUNNY?: 18 CALL CPA PLEASE: 8 CLOCKWORK PROBLEMATYKKS: 19 GET ON WITH IT!: 18 GORE GALORE: 10 HOW NOT TO WRITE A WEBCOMIC: 15 HURRY UP AND DO NOTHING: 10 IN HATE WITH MY CREATION: 0 RELATIONSHIP GOALS?: 1 SEND THEM TO THE SLAMMER: 1 SOME OF MY BEST FRIENDS: 0 WHAT IS HAPPENING??: 9 WHITE SBURB POSTMODERNISM: 19 TOTAL: 127

[anti-pasto]

for the 200 ask thingy, i actually dare you to do all of them. :D

delgaskarthalexhere we go, anon: 

200: My crush’s name is: I don’t have one right now, I don’t get them often (if I ever had a crush at all)

199: I was born in: 2003

198: I am really: A 2005 emo kid x a 2008 scene kid x a 2014 tumblr fangirl x Kyle himself

 197: My cellphone company is: Apple

194: My ring size is: Honestly? No idea. Propose to me with a sword.

 193: My height is: Somewhere between 5′7″ and 5′8″

192: I am allergic to: Nothing I’m aware of 

191: My 1st car was:  94 Station Wagon, by request

190: My 1st job was: being this funny is a full-time gig

 189: Last book you read: Bone Gap by Laura Ruby

188: My bed is: “made”

187: My pet: I have a cat, I love her very much and I will show her to you if you dm me a cursed image

186: My best friend: We don’t use “best friend” for personal reasons, but they’ve been with me since I was 5 so, my one and only Bro

185: My favorite shampoo is: anything with “silky smooth” or “strawberries” on the bottle. i’m not that picky anymore.

184: Xbox or ps3: xbox or ps4  xbox

183: Piggy banks are: really useful

 182: In my pockets: wallet, keys, phone, earbuds, black pen/pencil, earplugs, mini flashlight

 181: On my calendar:  i’m meeting a friend for smoothies tomorrow

 180: Marriage is: something we shouldn’t push so much onto people. it’s a declaration of love, not an end-all fix-all to your life. i can’t ever see myself getting married but who knows!

 179: Spongebob can: continue to be a relevant meme

178: My mom: i mean. we function. i can’t really complain about my family at large but i am defiantly looking forward to living literally as far away from them as i can. 

 177: The last three songs I bought were? psh, you think i pay for music? (folie a deux, lake effect kid, believers never die volume two) (those are albums but its okay)

176: Last YouTube video watched: I watched Markiplier play Uno

175: How many cousins do you have? 11? 12? I lost count

174: Do you have any siblings? I have a brother

 173: Are your parents divorced? Nope!

172: Are you taller than your mom? Yes, I have been for a while

171: Do you play an instrument? dude HECK yeah! i vibe on piano, guitar, ukulele, clarinet, and im a drum major

170: What did you do yesterday? I went on a drive by myself.

 [ I Believe In ] 

169: Love at first sight: Nope.

168: Luck: Yes, but luck is something that can be engineered

167: Fate: To an extent

 166: Yourself: I’d say overall, yeah. I still have doubts tho

165: Aliens: Mmmmmm yeah

 164: Heaven: Yes

163: Hell: Yes

162: God: Yeup

 161: Horoscopes: without an ounce of truth, they would have died a long time ago

160: Soul mates: the greeks had seven words for love. i think we have multiple soul mates to fit each of those categories. there are definitely people we’re just meant to vibe with

159: Ghosts: i want to say yes but i really dont know

158: Gay Marriage: yes. its 2020. grow up.

157: War: in theory? no. war is kinda messed up. in reality? not everyone is going to be down to nice diplomatic conflict resolution, and not everyone is just gonna leave people *countries* they don’t like alone, so...

156: Orbs: ??? energies are real

155: Magic: vibes are real

 [ This or That ]

 154: Hugs or Kisses: hugs

153: Drunk or High: i am a child of jesus

152: Phone or Online: online

 151: Red heads or Black haired:  irdc but black hair bc i am Emo

150: Blondes or Brunettes: blonde?? ig?? easier to dye

149: Hot or cold: hot weather + cold rooms

148: Summer or winter: summer

147: Autumn or Spring: autum (screw spring)

 146: Chocolate or vanilla: vanilla

145: Night or Day: night

 144: Oranges or Apples: oranges (better to share with homies)

 143: Curly or Straight hair: i dont care but curly

 142: McDonalds or Burger King: mcdonald give iced coffee

141: White Chocolate or Milk Chocolate: dark chocolate

 140: Mac or PC: pc for vidgya gaemes

139: Flip flops or high heals: ...converse. please. i cant walk properly in either of those

 138: Ugly and rich OR sweet and poor: sweet and poor 

 137: Coke or Pepsi: pepsi

136: Hillary or Obama: this is kinda outdated but obama

135: Burried or cremated: cremated i aint watch spn for nothin

134: Singing or Dancing: singing. at least that gets better with practice

133: Coach or Chanel: chanel (thank u mr frank ocean and also the neighborhood)

 132: Kat McPhee or Taylor Hicks: whomst

 131: Small town or Big city: big city and if you say small town you’ve never lived in a small town

 130: Wal-Mart or Target: target

 129: Ben Stiller or Adam Sandler: who tf is this

 128: Manicure or Pedicure: idk dude probably pedicure i don’t like people touching my hands and i use them for too much to get my nails done

127: East Coast or West Coast: hnngggggggg west coast has more to do but east coast has better beaches and 

126: Your Birthday or Christmas: birthday 

125: Chocolate or Flowers: chocolate bc then i can give u some

124: Disney or Six Flags: ive only been to disney so disney (though i AM a HARDCORE rollercoaster stan so it wouldnt take much for me to say six flags)

123: Yankees or Red Sox: what 

 [ Here’s What I Think About ]

 122: War: unfortunately sometimes necessary but not as a first resort i went over this already 

 121: George Bush: is that the shoe guy?

 120: Gay Marriage:  be gay. do crime. kiss wife. or husband. or partner. basically, hell yeah

119: The presidential election: america need 2 b single and focus on herself

 118: Abortion: pro-choice and that choice should be made by the one carrying the baby

117: MySpace: tumblr’s dad

116: Reality TV: don’t talk to about abt this

 115: Parents: disgusting. go to therapy. 

114: Back stabbers: if you’re gonna stab me in the back, pull my lungs through my ribcage bc that’s what my ancestor’s ghosts are gonna do to you (thanks great (x a few times) grandma viking ily thanks for the hair:) )

113: Ebay: good for merch and selling books

 112: Facebook: zuck my dick, data-theif

111: Work: i like doing work? like- i enjoy completing tasks and seeing my hard work pay off? it’s not that bad?

110: My Neighbors: old. boring. want me to babysit for free.

109: Gas Prices: i cant really complain rn they’re kinda low and im a little broke so

108: Designer Clothes: i vibe to them, honestly

 107: College: not for everyone but definitely for me

106: Sports: marching band is a sport marching band is a sport marching band is a sport marching band is a sport marching band is a sport but only technically speaking though you can make fair comparisons to sports such as cheer, and gymnastics where the idea is to put on a show and receive a score in the form of competition. 

 105: My family: disgusting

104: The future: the future doesn’t exist

 [ Last time I ] 

103: Hugged someone: god, don’t ask me this

 102: Last time you ate: uhhh like 9 hours ago? it was dinner and i had pizza

 101: Saw someone I haven’t seen in awhile: three or four weeks ago by best bro came to visit and we vibed

100: Cried in front of someone: i finished twist and shout at school at the end of a very bad week. it was only a few tears but that’s as close as i get to crying

99: Went to a movie theater: whenever the last star wars movie came out

98: Took a vacation: last year i went to dc over summer break to see the Smithsonian, it was a lot of fun. i was supposed to go to altanta and florida this year but that didn’t happen for reasons

 97: Swam in a pool: last week

 96: Changed a diaper: never

 95: Got my nails done: never

 94: Went to a wedding: its been at least 6 years dude

93: Broke a bone: never, somehow

 92: Got a peircing: nope

91: Broke the law: technically, yesterday. 55 is too slow

90: Texted: just now

 [ MISC ] 

89: Who makes you laugh the most: the person in my snap named “junior”

88: Something I will really miss when I leave home is: my cat

87: The last movie I saw: probably into the spiderverse

86: The thing that I’m looking forward to the most: things going back to normal. or somewhat normal. i need school to have a schedule bc i absolutely cannot force myself to function without outside influence

 85: The thing im not looking forward to: ironically, school in the fall. the way we’re going back is going to wreck me more than lockdown already has

 84: People call me: i only ft one of my bros and they know who tf they are if you ask to ft you’re getting fuckin blocked mate i dont do that shit video calls are for WORK and SCHOOL thats IT. but ppl call me by my nickname irl, i go by screech on here. 

83: The most difficult thing to do is: listen to my parent’s political opinions? live in a small town? force myself to be productive without a physical influence and reminder? put up with that one dude?

82: I have gotten a speeding ticket: nope

 81: My zodiac sign is: scoprio/leo/gemini

80: The first person i talked to today was: the potential bassist for our potential band? 

79: First time you had a crush: uhh im still not sure if it was a crush but i wanted them to myself and they wanted (and got) someone better. we were just friends so it doesn’t really matter

 78: The one person who i can’t hide things from: the person on snap named “the great oracle”

77: Last time someone said something you were thinking: yesterday, it was my brother

 76: Right now I am talking to: in order of snap names, “vibin ~[^.^]~”, “russian umbrella”, and “mom” (not really)

75: What are you going to do when you grow up: hopefully, a job that makes me happy

74: I have/will get a job: as soon as i know what’s going on with school. but like as an adult? wherever will hire me and pay my fairly. being a barista would be fun, but at a local place (not in my current town)

73: Tomorrow: ???? time for bad poetry: tomorrow i will see my friend/ admist this lasting chaos/ we will be each other’s solitude/ while sharing fruity drinks/ and when we both come home/ a smile we will bring

72: Today: idk what this means so more poetry: today i will be sleep deprived as always/ i will think of them and weep/ but no tears will fall from my eyes/ for i know there is a reason/ we went our own way

 71: Next Summer: i fr dont know whats goin on so: next summer i will be/ as happy as can be/ because i will be in pain no longer/ the earth is sure to heal/ and i will heal with her/ so i can enjoy/ the heatwave of next summer

70: Next Weekend: next weekend i will spend/ my days wasting away/ maybe ill finish hannibal/ again/ not that serial killers make the dopamine stay/ i will not see my friends/ or talk to my family/ i will seldom eat/ and live off coffee/ this has been my life/ all quarintine/ god someone please help me

 69: I have these pets: i have four cats, three chickens, and a dog

 68: The worst sound in the world: my dad and grandpa talking

 67: The person that makes me cry the most is: Them

 66: People that make you happy: snap name time: the great oracle, junior, vibin ~[^.^]~, russian umbrella, mom, hero, booby-king 48, go to bed, son, pooper trooper, mac&cheese, plain egg biscuit, apple pie

 65: Last time I cried: i dont cry bitch (last week over officals that cant make up they gottdamned mindes)

64: My friends are: my family and i would die for each and all of them

 63: My computer is: an old hp but it play gaemes real good so it okie

 62: My School: is trash but the band pops off

61: My Car: old, fast, clean

60: I lose all respect for people who: are my dad

 59: The movie I cried at was: i cried over big hero six

 58: Your hair color is: blonde

57: TV shows you watch: supernatural, good omens, hannibal, parks and rec

56: Favorite web site: this hellsite or youtube

 55: Your dream vacation: out of the country with beautiful beaches, amazing food, and my best friend

54: The worst pain I was ever in was: the time i split the back of my head open, the time i split my chin open, and the time my then best friend said they didn’t want to talk to me anymore. i’ll let you guess which one hurt the most and which one i think about every fucking day

53: How do you like your steak cooked: medium or medium well. 

52: My room is: clean and a reflection of myself, or so i’ve been told

51: My favorite celebrity is: i do not engage in celebrity worship. ill follow them and reblog gifs/interviews but i dont really have a favorite. the less i know abt them the better.

 50: Where would you like to be: my own apartment in nyc

49: Do you want children: FUCK THEM KIDS BRO

 48: Ever been in love: i dont know if it was love. i dont know if it was a crush. what i do know id that i was attached and they didn’t feel the same, and why would they?

 47: Who’s your best friend: we dont really use best friend bc but “the great oracle” “junior” and “vibin ~[^.^]~”

46: More guy friends or girl friends: its 50/50

45: One thing that makes you feel great is: goin fast, the beach, playin video games

44: One person that you wish you could see right now: them

43: Do you have a 5 year plan: go to college, earn degree

 42: Have you made a list of things to do before you die: commit arson

 41: Have you pre-named your children: FUCK. THEM. KIDS. BRO.

40: Last person I got mad at: they do not understand that they do not know everything about something they’re not even involved in yet

39: I would like to move to: new zealand

38: I wish I was a professional: artist? musican? youtuber? who knows

 [ My Favorites ] 

37: Candy: nerds

36: Vehicle: 1970 mustang gt

 35: President: jfk only bc his assassination is the only good thing abt american history the rest of it is fucked up and shouldn’t have happened. also jfk’s song in assassians the musical goes hard

34: State visited: california

 33: Cellphone provider: verizon? apple? idfk

32: Athlete: what is sport

31: Actor: i don't watch shows or movies

30: Actress: i do not consume media

29: Singer: alex gaskarth or alexander deleon

 28: Band: fall out boy 

 27: Clothing store: hot topic (i will not apologize)

 26: Grocery store: okay harris teeter fucks but lidil’s has aloe vera juice and target at 9 pm energy so idk man 

25: TV show: supernatural...

24: Movie: big hero 6

 23: Website: tumblr or youtube

 22: Animal: snow leopard 

 21: Theme park: busch gardens bc roller coaster go fast

20: Holiday: christmas

19: Sport to watch: snowboarding bc its like skateboarding but on snow

18: Sport to play: anything with havy footwork (marching band is a sport)

17: Magazine: i do not condume media

16: Book: the ranger’s apprentice series as a whole makes up my all-time one favorite book

 15: Day of the week: friday bc its game day baybey

14: Beach: cocoa beach in florida but also i have so much left to experience 

13: Concert attended: i havent been to any notable gigs but i was supposed to go to hella mega

 12: Thing to cook: pancakes

11: Food: pizza or shushi

 10: Restaurant: chiplote

 9: Radio station: i like my local rock station and my local edm/top 40 station

8: Yankee candle scent: anything smoky or vanilla idc

7: Perfume: chanel no. 5 if i even wear it

6: Flower: Hydrangea

5: Color: orange

 4: Talk show host: cecil palmer

 3: Comedian: john maulaney

 2: Dog breed: yes

1: Did you answer all these truthfully? ;)

That was a trip. But it was fun, please do things like this more often. Also, I don’t consume media by choice. I’m not sheltered I just can’t be bothered, and I have enough going on. That being said I will now be sleeping. Thanks again, Anon, I hope you have fun reading this :D

[mercatorantique]

aesthetic tag! 

tagged by @seungchris

tagging:  yall dont have to do it but ! @banghans @kimatas @djxiao @chrrysoda @utunes @itzmidzy n if anybody else wants to feel free to say i tagged u!

rules: bold the aesthetics you relate to and add twenty of your own aesthetic qualities for others to bold

soft

baby pink | iridescent | glitter is always a good option | no bra | minimalistic tattoos | cherry patterns | sweet scented perfumes | wearing generous amounts of blush | doodling hearts | getting excited to pet an animal | fun nails | rewatching old barbie movies | hair sticking to glossed lips | heart shaped sunglasses | taking pictures of the sunset or sunrise | stuffed animals | protecting nature | stickers everywhere | teen movies | the light rain that falls from a clear sky at the beginning of the night

dark academia

neutral tones | masculine outfits | studying languages | worn down copy of books | grey skies | turtleneck sweaters | loose fitting pants | hair tied with a silk ribbon | trying to remember a cool difficult word you read somewhere to use in a convo | thick belts | minimal makeup | windows fogged by rain | vintage jewelry | blouses with cuffed sleeves | reading a murder mystery and trying to solve it | oxford style shoes | sweater vests | subtitled old movies in a language you don’t speak | leaves crackling as you walk | annotating books to express your emotions about the story

edgy

closet full of dark clothes | fishnet tights | makeup sweating off | neon signs | searching for unknown songs | chokers | band tees | doodling on old converses | finding smoking aesthetically pleasing but not doing it | weird humor | accidentally very dramatic | dim lights | layered outfits | chain belts | chipped nail polish | messy hair | low quality pics | piercings | combat boots | scribbling on desks

seventies

colorful wardrobe | doodling flowers | wearing short shorts | using a bikini top or bra as a normal top | listening to ABBA | flowers in your hair | diy-ing everything | jamming to songs alone in your room | drunkenly telling your friends you love them | patterned bandanas | mid heeled shoes | messy braids | flared sleeves | walking barefoot on grass or sand | bold sunglasses | the good kind of tired you get after doing something you enjoy for hours | feeding stray animals | fun patterned socks | room decorated with succulents and other plants | likes to go roller skating or skateboarding

preppy casual

collared clothes | drinking juice out of a champagne glass | getting excited to see the met gala looks | thick headbands | small pastel cardigans | making your friends take your ootd pics | plaid mini skirts | tweed two pieces | watching reality tv to pass time | frilly tops | watching old hollywood movies | academically driven | long manicured nails | new year’s eve fireworks | colorful tights | layered golden jewelry | yearns for luxury brand items | decorating your room with fairy-lights | cursive and neat handwriting | lace details

cinanamon - steph

gold jewelry, slowdancing in the kitchen with a lover, sun on skin, red-tinted lip balm, lazy mornings, getting lost in foreign cities, scent of bakeries, high-waisted jeans, kissing someone’s neck, writing reminders on your wrist, sleeping in braids to have waves in the morning, growing an herb garden, gentle touches, sketches tucked between pages, flushed cheeks, tandem bikes, floating in a pool, vintage gold hand-mirror, deer grazing, softly singing while doing chores

jaesmintea - dia

oversized everything | painted nails | fairy lights | dozing off in the middle of class | tying hair up into a ponytail | round glasses | laughing so hard you can’t breathe | late night study sessions | tender hand holding | impromptu photoshoots | drowning in moondust | bathing in the light of the sunset | strawberry flavored lollipops | polaroid pictures | eagerly tugging someone down the street | handwritten love letters | smell of coffee | living with reckless abandon | crinkled pages of a journal | replaying the same part in a song over and over

naptimetea - helena

everything black | rewearing your favorite outfit | drawing late into the night | rewatching favorite shows | the bread isle | minty lip balm | falling asleep anywhere and everywhere | making green tea | useless questions when it’s 2 am | forehead kisses | sleeping in till the afternoon | love of pink | staying up to watch the sunrise | dancing in the bathroom | messy handwriting | pile of sketchbooks | talking for hours about interest | old sentimental stuff animals | hanging out on the bed and doing nothing | thick fluffy blankets

jeonginks

the thrill of leaning your body way over a balcony’s edge | the suffocating feeling when the strong wind blows down your lungs | tip-toeing barefoot | hair ruffling and cheek pinching | hugging a body pillow at night | facing the sky with closed eyes | the whimsical silence when it’s past midnight and you’re the only person awake | when you can physically feel your eyes soften when you look at someone | dancing alone with only an oversized shirt | when your sweater falls over your thighs as you stand up | humming scary but memorable lullabies | vivid imagination | w-sitting with a mini skirt and thigh high socks | heated laptop on your lap | cereal at 3 am | gliding your fingers across your thighs | bittersweet melancholy | withdrawn and distant eyes | very tight belts | wanting love but not believing in it | not cruel but not kind

scxrlettwxtches

listening to a song and remembering the times you used to listen to it on repeat | imagining yourself living in any other life than the one you have now | crop tops and high waisted jeans | forgetting to smile but not actually being upset | nuzzling your face in the crook of their neck | back hugs when you’re stressed | turning in assignments 1 minute before they’re due | wanting a relationship but getting scared the moment you’re in one | pretending that you don’t care when inside you’re burning with doubts and fears | the sound of the evening waves as you lie on the sand | lying in your bed listening to your sad playlist | exhaustion but you can’t sleep | singing loudly when you’re the only one home | feeling safe and comfortable with that person in your life | knee high suede black boots with your black winter coat | comfort over appearance | writing essays at 2 am | creative peak from 1 am to 4 am | the one that always ends up walking in the back of a friend group

hyunsracha - sav!

split-dye hair | female rappers | staying up until 6am and sleeping until 1pm | taking notes on an ipad | middle school emo music | mini skirts | late night drives | rain on the ocean | flirting with people when you’re bored | doc martens | eating ramen in the pot | afraid of being looked at | fishnets | getting joy out of making people laugh | small tattoos | crying yourself to sleep | peppermint everything | desperate for freedom | chipped black nail polish

lveletters

well-worn converse | ginger ice cream | farmers’ markets | amaretto in coffee | the sound of pen on paper | empty mountain trails | black and white photographs | vintage bicycles | roads trips with no destination | overfilled bookcases | a shoebox full of ticket stubs | granny smith apples | orange gerbera daisies | cardigan sweaters | games that tell a story | red wine in a mason jar | succulent gardens | tattoos of birds | fresh-baked muffins | a favorite pair of jeans

dnceracha - sydni

black chelsea boots | chapped lips | browline glasses | losing yourself in video games | impressionist art | pink peonies | writing down anything you need to remember | the smell of gasoline | business goth style | dangly earrings | florals | ballet flats | cuffed jeans | liking the villain | a stack of journals | generous amounts of highlighter | knives | rain on a tin roof | heavy footsteps | small-town diners

seungchris - tessa

1am coffee |  small of fresh baked cookies |  lazy morning cuddles |  craft beer | corner booth in a local diner |  video games till 4am | strained vocals in songs | soft yellow lighting |  fresh mint |  loud synth bass with sweet vocals |  fuzzy photos |  squished cheeks |  long hugs | childhood stuffed animals | cat laying on your chest |  blasting music going to country roads | chocolate espresso beans |  white beat-up converse |  6-year-old worn sweaters |  hand-made gifts

gutenyang - luca

a game over screen playing its melancholy music in the darkness | being so full of love you start choking on it even though it has nowhere to go | being so drained of love that everything runs together | hazy memories as if they’re no longer your own | wet ink staining the palms of your hands | teeth glinting in the dim light, are those really so sharp? | getting lost in a campfire, the voices of your friends laughter and singing fading out as you stare | home-grown roses and lavender and lilies | the burn in your lungs after a good long scream | the ringing in your ears after seeing your favorite artist in concert, live, feeling the vibrations in your very soul | a smile shared between two...not lovers, but impossibly intertwined regardless | the fascination with catholic imagery and disgust with everything else | a ballroom in the modern era | lips against skin, a kiss and a secret whispered | a leather jacket so loaded with pins and patches that it says more about the owner than any words can describe | a bassline so melodic it catches you off guard, sweeps you off your feet | laughter for laughter’s sake | reading between the lines and only praying someone reads between yours as well | that one knife that says ‘jopping’

[lesbiansastiel]

so far untitled fic

this is kind of my take on what happens in s5e16 (dark side of the moon) but it happens earlier in the season (like after the convention ep).

cas x sam, kind of dean negative, very gay & emotional. i use every pronouns for cas here dont mind that. title is reference to a Shura song. pls listen to it it’s good

Chapter 1. Nothing’s Real

Sam. Ashtabula, Ohio, 2009

He turns the Impala's radio on and takes another left turn, towards the beach. It's been a long while since Dean first gave him the keys of the car, after the talk they had about trying to be "more equal", whatever that meant. Since then, Sam has enjoyed being able to drive around and clear his mind from the job, and the hassle, and, well, Dean. Since the whole thing with Lucifer being freed, it has not really been easy living with Dean and having to bear the guilt of the world ending, as ridiculous as it sounds. Actually the only good thing to happen recently has been the permission to drive the Impala and get away, on the excuse of doing research, going shopping, or meeting with local hunters for more details on the job at hand. Sam takes the car, buys Dean something to eat from any gas station close by, and drives until it gets dark. Then he parks the car somewhere peaceful and sits there, listening to music (but never classic rock), or in silence.

Now he's parked in the parking lot near a tiny beach. The moon is almost full, and the parking lot is dimly lit with street lamps. He's wearing a winter jacket but the car is nicely warm after the drive so he takes it off and throws it on the passenger seat. He has not had time to think about normal everyday regular life things in so long, because they barely even live anymore. Yet, somehow, when he just sits in the car and lets his brain choose the thoughts, he ends up thinking about normal things, like the increasing price of gas, his old friends and how they're doing, the state of Dean and his laundry pile back at the motel, all the little things of regular life he needs to take care of before hitting the next case.

But his everyday life is more than those things. Here, alone, in silence, he can think about the other stuff too, without feeling the weight of it all. More often than not, when he takes time off to drive, Sam thinks about the angels, and Ruby, even Jess, even their parents. He wonders if God really is real, and out there, and if Cas will be able to find them. Sam misses Cas when the angel is not around, he has this weird anxiety about Cas being gone some morning, for good. Sam wants Cas to know how much he thinks about them, how much Cas helps him and Dean, more than just with his powers. That stupid trench coat brings them hope. At least to Sam, since Sam can't say for Dean, who seems to have given up all of his hope. Sam has all the pressure, making sure he never shows Dean how much Sam fears, how weak he is. He wonders if Cas, and the other angels, can see how weak Sam is. If they can tap into his thoughts at any moment and just see how much sadness and misery he holds, that any moment he could snap and give up the fight.

Sam won't do it, though. He's meant to fight this fight, till the end, even if it kills him. Sometimes when he goes on these drives, he cries thinking of it all.

Sometimes when he does, he hopes Cas would be there when he opens his eyes.

That seems to only happen to Dean, though. And it’s not like Cas would know where Sam is right now, because of the Enochian sigils. Sam opens his eyes slowly and turns the radio off. No one else in the car, or outside of it. His limbs are getting tired and his eyes feel heavier and heavier. He rolls down the window to let in some fresh air and the sounds of the waves and the wind come with. When he places his head back against the seat and takes a long breath in he gets goosebumps on his arms. It’s a weird feeling, drifting away in a familiar car, at a strange beach, in the dark. The impala is more than just a familiar car, it feels more like home to Sam than anything else does. Falling asleep in this car is more familiar than falling asleep anywhere else. The sound of the waves, crashing in and out, the wind humming in the air, the cool autumn air, lull Sam fast to sleep. 

When he next wakes up, he is shivering all over. It takes half a second to realise why, with the breeze coming from the window, so he rolls the window back up and takes his jacket from the passenger seat and onto his lap and covers himself with it. Sam yawns again and looks at the clock on the dash. It’s two AM. He had left the motel at midnight. Dean is probably asleep by now, so he’s not in any hurry. He ends up just sitting there for a while, with his mind black. Eventually he takes his phone out of his jeans’ front pocket to check for messages, just in case. Three notifications, one message from Dean, one call from Dean and one call from Cas. Sam reads the message, it says to come back to the motel,  sits up straight and pulls the jacket on. He’s not panicking, but he’s not calm either. He turns the keys in the ignition switch and backs away from the parking lot. He drives fast, but not quite as fast as he could, and tries to keep calm. Why had Cas called?

Sometimes when Sam is alone, his brain goes fuzzy, like he’s resetting from his social-Sam back into himself, his brain not quite making sense in words, his thoughts kind of blurry, memories hazy. Being alone is truly freeing, but it’s also sad and lonely. He tries not to like it too much, because being lonely is his way of punishing himself, too, and liking it would mean he wants to punish himself, to make himself miserable. So he tries to keep himself social, talk to people, think of people, spend time with Dean outside of the jobs, try to remember that he is worthy of love and appreciation. He tries really hard to be loved, so that he doesn’t forget that he deserves it, too. Dean rarely shows his appreciation. Not with words or affection, anyway. Dean has probably saved Sam’s ass more times than he has in any way signaled that he doesn’t hate to spend time with him. Sam does try to be “touchy-feely” but Dean won’t let him. He turns it into a joke, tries to silence Sam with hurtful truths, anything to stop feelings from happening. In fact, Dean’s feelings are so repressed Sam sometimes wonders if Dean has feelings at all. But Sam tries to understand, after all, Dean is an innocent man who was in Hell for what felt like 40 years. And from what Sam understands, he even remembers it all. Sam tires himself imagining how hell must’ve been, trying to find anything to say to help, comparisons to draw to make himself understand Dean. Sam tries to imagine Dean as a war veteran who was on the battlefield for 40 years, but somehow, even that doesn’t quite compare. Sam often wonders about how Cas saved Dean, tries to imagine how a soul is grabbed from literal Hell and raised to a body quite like the original thing but without the scars. How does Cas have that power, when not a single demon Sam killed seemed to think it was possible? And why do it? And why was it Cas? And who gave the order?

After a 10-minute drive Sam comes to the centre of town and there is a big knot in his belly. The night is too ominous, too dark and yet too calm to make sense of and Sam doesn’t like it. The straight road continues for too long and Sam feels helpless. There is so much fear and anxiety in his life he can barely contain it. Sam’s mind is fuzzy with nothing but the words “please be okay, please be okay, please be okay”. 

The motel is around the corner, and its cheap neon lights are reflected on the wet asphalt. Sam parks the car swiftly in front of their room and hurries out of it. His back and legs are sore from sitting for so long and he feels like he’s getting old too fast. The room number is 12, the door yellow. Sam doesn’t have keys, but the door is unlocked. 

He marches in and sees Dean and Cas sitting on the two beds, silent, Dean looking uncomfortable, Cas staring at the wall. They both look at him, and Dean looks tired.

“What is it?” Sam lets out a big breath of air and puts the car keys on the table next to the door.

“Where were you?” Dean says with no change in expression.

“Just, out” Sam points to the general direction of the beach with his head.

“Well, Cas here,” Dean looks at Cas, “found something.”

Cas looks at Sam with a regular expression, not the frowny one, and Sam is relieved. 

“Oh?” Sam says and rips the jacket off himself. The motel room is way too warm. Cas sits silently, looking deep in thought, and Dean stands up from the bed, and walks to the other corner of the room. Then he walks back. 

“Cas? Please share with the rest of the class,” Dean sounds annoyed and sits on the couch that is on the opposite wall from the door. 

Cas looks at Dean and then Sam. He seems worried… or anxious.

“I’m going to find God,” Cas begins and looks at Sam, “and I will need your help.”

“Of course, but I don’t think there’s much we can do-” “Not us, Sam. You,” Dean says, frustrated. 

“I’m taking you to heaven, Sam,” Cas says, “to find Joshua.”

[thehamptonsrpgroup]

“Let me be patient, let me be kind. Make me unselfish, without being blind. I may have faith to make mountains fall but if I lack love then I am nothing at all.”

Welcome Ms. Whitney Riley she is 30 years young, born May 7th and is originally from Nashville, TN. She is a children’s book author and illustrator and spends her free time painting or in the kitchen. I swear to you Kristin Cavallari is her doppelganger but she doesn’t see the resemblance. 

Whitney is said to be nurturing, benevolent and steadfast on her best days while detached, jealous and vague on her worst.

Currently listening to: I feel Better by Gotye 

@xhdarling; I went out to the coop to get eggs this morning and was ATTACKED by Gildy the chicken. Needless to say; you win this time Gildy. #untilwemeetagain

@xhdarling; Just finished the artwork for my next book and I couldn’t be more excited. Brody would have loved it. #alwaysthinkingofyoudarling

@xhdarling; Nothing better than a walk barefoot on the beach first thing in the morning. #myversionofheaven #you’rebothherewithme 

Whitney grew up in a small town with her young single mother all she knew about her father growing up was that he was at least alive and out there somewhere. Whitney had a normal upbringing with the exception that she had to take care of her mother a lot growing up because her mother suffered from Huntington’s. She did so gladly and without reservations even though her mothers condition quickly declined. Right before she graduated from high school her mother passed away and she was left dealing with the aftermath of it all. Unfortunatly it was about the same time she met a man who she thought loved her and would help her through that dark time and at first he did but when she got comfortable things began to change. He became severly abusive, mentally and physically and she had no way to get out of it. Her best friend growing up had joined the military right out of high school but would come home on leave whenever he could. On one of those trips he made a visit to see her and realized what she was going through and helped her get out of it. 

The distance between them didnt seem to matter and they grew closer, despite the fact that he was overseas and a romance blossomed between them.After his second tour he came home and the two got married and for the first time she was the happiest she had ever been. Whitney felt safe and at home with him. However, good things dont last and he was killed just weeks before he was to return home. After the accumulation of trama having happened in this small town she needed a change while she grieved and tried to heal herself. So she decided to look for her father and that search led her to New York where she found out her father was actually a telecommunications mogule. They built their relationship from the ground up, he was happy to have his daughter in his life and they developed a very close bond. But Whitney was a small town girl and being in New York, even though her publisher was now in the city it was just not where she wanted to heal her wounds. Her father suggested she move to their house in the hamptons where she would have a more peacful place and yet be close enough to the city to come and go as she pleased.