#i was watching something horrible happen. something was sitting on my chest it felt like

[teddybeirin]

all of 30 minutes of a nap if that but i think i will just stay up for the rest of the day instead of trying my luck with sleep again

[r0ttenhearts]

can I request a charac using reader who has a crush on them for their own benefits. while reader is left to wonder why chrc acts like a stranger to reader in public. eventually confronting chrc and them brushing it off as not noticing, being too busy. until reader eavesdropped to a convo with chrc's friend abt chrc just using reader. and reader leaves and ignores chrc for a while and chrc slowly starts missing reader's presence, only to see reader with someone else and confronting reader about it. of course charac won't get the happy ending 😈

(preferably scara, or childe-- if u write for him.)

feel free to ignore, I think I haven't expressed my req properly 😭😭.

also can I be 🌧️ anon ? :>

thanks 🌧️ anon for the request ^^ i hope you enjoy!

not your pet, anymore

scaramouche x reader

warnings: angst, arguments, insults, suggestive mentions

“you love me, right?”

“of course i do, scara. you mean so much to me.” you whispered, fingers running through his hair as he leaned against you. his thick eyelashes fluttered shut, hand on his chest as he lay against you.

the biting cold of fall couldn’t compare to the warmth you two shared, huddled together like this. his cheeks still tinted pink from the cold air, hands cold to the touch, it was just the way you liked him to be. cold enough for him to want to sit close to you and warm up.

touches were not a regular occurrence for scaramouche, he was normally dismissive, claiming he hated the closeness of skin on skin contact. but that wasn’t said when he’d tug at the end of your sweater, asking if he could feel more of your warmth. soft pants escaping your lips, his cold hands wandering, bodies on the cold floor of his bedroom. that’s how you’d spend your days after school.

but this time, with your hair sticking to your sweaty forehead as you finished up some of scaramouche’s homework he had passed on to you, something felt different. he was glued to his phone, an unusual smile gracing his lips as his thumbs danced across the device. you frowned, putting down your pen as you watched his face pull up in expressions you had rarely seen.

“who’re you talking to scara?”

“none of your business, (y/n).” he snapped, the smile he had been wearing for a few minutes dropping as his head snapped up to look at you. he sighed dramatically, getting up from the floor as he placed his phone down next to your hand, his face inches away from you.

“so damn nosy (y/n), when you should be doing my essay. are you bored? should i give you more work? or maybe i should let you suck me off, put your mouth to use. i think i like you better when you’re stuffing me in than anything you’ve ever said, anyway.” he sneered, enjoying the silence from you. a slight movement from you caused annoyance to bubbled up inside of him, his face unable to hide that itching feeling.

“you know, if you weren’t like this i’d be nicer to you, hell, maybe i’d love you. fat chance of that happening, i hate you most of the time. the only time i like your mouth open is when you’re making those pretty sounds for me, anything else is just muck.

why’re you so quiet, huh? are you gonna run off to your friends again? tell them how horrible i am? you think someone like collei will bother with you after you tell her what you do in here with me? how you open yourself to me? after swearing to her you’re done with me? you’re fucking something, (y/n). honestly, i’m getting sick of you. can you get the fuck out now?”

scaramouche’s phone buzzes, screen lighting up with a new text message. the both of you glance to it at the same time before he snatches it up, typing away a response as you gather your things without a word. biting your tongue was easier said then done, but you knew the argument would be worse if you said anything to him at all.

with a gentle click of scaramouche’s door, hours had gone by since you made your way home. a warm shower to rid of the nagging feeling at the pit of your stomach, along with the stickiness scaramouche had left you. you weren’t enjoying this, not one bit.

you figured you’d talk to him tomorrow in class, apologize for your inconveniences to him, and have it return to how it usually was after a fight. if you could call it one.

what you didn’t expect was to see scaramouche sitting by the green haired girl, haypasia, his usual seat empty as they sat side by side. quietly setting your things down, you still thought to say good morning to him, as a sign of peace.

standing from your seat, you meekly stood in front of him, hands wringing in front of you nervously. “good morning scara, and haypasia, i was wondering if—“

scaramouche never looked at you the whole time you were standing in front of him, his eyes glued on haypasia as her eyes bore into yours. a bitter smirk on haypasia’s face as she waved you off, scaramouche rolling his eyes before continuing whatever conversation they were having before you interrupted him.

a pain started to form in your chest. that nauseating prick that you’d feel every time you knew scaramouche was fooling around with other girls. cold sweat was all you felt as class droned on, your eyes never leaving the back of scaramouche’s head as his hand would slip underneath haypasia’s desk, sliding her pieces of paper that she would giggle at or turn red to after reading.

why is he being like this? should you have said something yesterday? would the satisfaction of knowing he practically owned you satisfy him enough to not be like this? these thoughts ran through your head until it was time for lunch, that bell being something of a savior as you were freed from seeing him there with her.

childe’s loud laughs caught your attention as he stood with kazuha, an anxious look on the white haired boys face as his eyes locked with yours for a moment. “i mean, just look at her! everyone knows scara is just using her. i heard, he’s been sleeping with (y/n) so he’s good enough to do it with that other girl, whatever her name is. you know her, right kazuha? whatdya think? did you get a piece of her yet too? or is it just scara sinking his claws in her, and something else!”

kazuha’s nervous laugh as childe punched his arm spoke volumes as you stood up, clutching the strap of your bag. kazuha noticed the tears in your eyes as you ran out of the classroom, you had heard every word that came out of childe’s mouth. excusing himself, he ran after you, his soft taps of his feet on the floor in comparison to your loud, cluttered footsteps.

scaramouche heard about this from childe, his demeanor changing once childe gave him the details on how kazuha ran after you. he didn’t know why it bothered him, but it did. no one else should be acknowledging his pet, the one that was so compliant and listened to everything he asked of you.

that’s how he saw you, and that’s all you were to him. right? that egging feeling in his chest as his messages to you were now left on seen more often than not. your cat keychain you hung on your bag that “reminded you of him” being replaced by a charm of a maple leaf, the same one kazuha had on his bag.

it bothered him. and he didn’t try to hide it. every time you’d sit next to kazuha instead of him, he’d grumble under his breath. a part of him ached to see you bare on his bedroom floor again, your fingers running through his hair, your gentle kisses on his forehead when you’d put him to bed when he was in a foul mood. he actually missed you.

but why were you so distant now? surely kazuha wasn’t giving you something he wasn’t, right? he couldn’t. you’d always declared your loyalty to scaramouche, never once breaking it.

then why did you admit you were in love with kazuha? your hands together in front of scaramouche as he scoffs, taking you by the wrist the second those words left your mouth.

“come again? i think i misheard you (y/n). you said you were in love with me just last month. so how do you even think you have feelings for that poet?” his voice wavered, eyes scanning across your face for a sign, a hint of remorse or love that you once held for him.

you shake your head, taking your hand away from scaramouche’s grip but he tightens it anyway. his eyes bore into yours, begging, pleading for it not to be true. for you to laugh it off and say you were kidding.

“he’s.. kind. it’s unlike something i’ve had before, and.. it feels good. it feels good to be wanted, scara. something i never felt with you.”

“something i never felt with you”, those words rung in his head as he laughs loudly, fat tears spilling as he pulls you into his chest. your hands going to push him away as he holds you tightly, laughing through his tears.

“you promised me (y/n), you promised you’d stay. you said you’d stay with me forever, love me forever! please don’t be like them, please don’t let that be a lie.”

“let me go, scara. please.” you whispered, feeling him shake his head as his hands tighten around you.

“n-no, no.. i can’t lose you too. archons, i can’t. what did childe say (y/n)? i promise he didn’t mean it, whatever he said isn’t true! i swear.. let’s just, go back to how it used to be, yeah? you can come over like you used to and- and we just don’t have to have sex. we can do things you like! i swear.. so please..”

his tears had rolled down, coating your neck as he wept. you’d never seen him in such a desperate state. his eyes looking into yours for a hint of what used to be there for him, but there wasn’t. more tears rolled down his cheeks as he let you go. he had fucked up. again. and this time he lost you, the one thing he never thought he’d lose.

“i’m sorry, scara. i’ve moved on. i think you have too with haypasia, you’ll be okay.” you say before picking up your bag, leaving him standing there with a wreck of feelings in his chest.

“you’re just like the rest.” he spat under his breath, harshly wiping at his eyes as the tears continued to flow. a hateful sentence meant to comfort no one but himself. he knew you weren’t at fault for it, he knew one day you’d want something more of him, something he’d be reluctant to give you. the day you finally escaped the clutches of the toxic relationship he had given you, the same day he had deemed the end of his new beginning.

“i never got my forever with you, like you promised. i can’t apologize for hating you for it.”

taglist: @sakiimeo @astrolomona @dearsumire @saeism @shoheartluv @0kauy @lelemnh @kaoriee @samarill

[cillianhead]

Hey! I was wondering if you could write a little smutty/angsty something for Neil Lewis. Maybe bestfriend!reader, who recently got with some other man, and Neil is incredibly jealous and maybe... possessive. 👀 Some angst heated argument finished with a smut would be lovely. 🤭

Thank you!

Of course, of course!

Thank you for your request!

You're The Only One Who Makes Me Feel Alive || Neil Lewis x Reader

warnings: Smut, angst, best friends to lovers, swearing, slight (?) drug use (marijuana), jealousy, unprotected P in V, Neil is quite obsessed with reader's boobs (because c'mon, NEIL IS A BOOB MAN!!!) like sort of switch!neil but not quite, adult content!

18+ Minors DNI

It was a slow Friday night at Gumshoe Video. You had closed by now, though. You sat between Lucien and Jonathan, a bit stoned, and watched some horrible Horror-Parody film called 'Bad Taste'. You had zoned out, drowning out Jonathan and Lucien's incessant bickering about the film and whether it was good or bad.

"-It's Peter Jackson, for Christ's sake. It's a masterpiece of its time or whatever," Lucien argued. Jonathan just scoffed, crossing his arms over his chest. "It's supposed to be ridiculous!" Lucien protested.

"Are we watching the same movie?" Jonathan grunted with a hint of amusement. "How the hell did someone see this and think... 'yeah, that's the guy we're getting for Lord of the fucking Rings'!"

Lucien quipped back something particularly witty and sarcastic, but it all turned into one big blur of words to you. You were incredibly bored and stoned that none of what was happening on the TV screen made sense. You looked like a zombie, lips parted and an expression of awe on your face.

"Not this stupid movie," You heard the sound of Neil's voice from behind you. Quickly sitting up and turning to look at him, like an expectant dog when its owner comes home. "I've got the snacks if you guys even care." Lucien and Jonathan grumble their words of appreciation while you just sat and smiled at your best friend.

You all had smoked together, but you hadn't really prepared for the munchies that would come along with it. So you flipped a coin, and poor little Neil was the one who had to go to the nearest convenience store and buy as much junk food as he could carry. Two seafoam green plastic grocery bags were hanging off of Neil's sturdy forearms that said 'Recycle Me!' on them while he stood, smiling back at you.

"What'd you get Neily-poo?" You hummed, standing up and approaching him.

"I hate it when you call me that," Neil grumbled before handing you one of the bags. "I just got all the classic snacks... Cheetos, Twizzlers, Lucien's favorite white chocolate... and of course, I got your favorite..."

You squealed out of delight, lunging on Neil and wrapping your arms around him. "Did you really?" You said, pulling away with your arms still around his neck. Neil hummed while pulling the familiar mouth-watering box of Swedish Fish out of the grocery bag.

You properly pulled away now and snatched it out of his hand greedily. "Hey...! Wait... where's my thanks?" He tilted his head, tapping his pointer finger on the apple of his cheek. You rolled your eyes playfully before placing a grateful peck on his cheek.

You two sat on the spare couch together. You leaned against Neil, as you always do, your head on his chest and his arm wrapped around you. It had always been that way with you two, both very physically affectionate with each other. Though not when Neil was in a relationship, you knew how threatened his girlfriends felt by you, though you never understood why... Neil was always insistent on how you were just a friend, even going as far as to say you were like a sister to him.

When the movie ended and Neil had a bit more to smoke, you all sat around munching on your snacks, thinking of what to do next.

"Do you guys wanna come over to my place, and we can do this again tomorrow night?" Neil asked, scratching at his chin.

"Sure, I'd love that, dude," Jonathan nodded before popping a handful of peanut M&M's into his mouth. "Sounds great." He said with his mouth full.

"Gross!" You scolded, throwing a piece of popcorn at him. "Don't eat with your mouth full..."

"What did you just say?" Lucien laughed.

"I mean... don't talk with your mouth full!" You corrected, and everyone sat around giggling at that. "You knew what I meant!" Your cheeks heated up with embarrassment at your mistake.

"...and yeah, I'll come over tomorrow night." Lucien said to Neil. Neil gave him a thumbs up before turning his head over to you.

"How about you, Y/N?" Neil hummed, sighing as he leaned his head against the couch, cheek smushing a bit as he smiled softly down at you. He's so pretty, I just wanna kiss him, You thought."You wanna come over?" Yikes, you thought. You bit your lip and sucked in a breath. "Well... I... well... actually, I've got plans tomorrow, guys... I'm sorry." You shrugged apologetically.

"What?" Jonathan murmured, mouth still full, chewing obnoxiously loud.

"Since when do you have plans?" Lucien remarked. You gave him a dry smile.

"I'm going on a date... believe it or not," You snorted, looking down at your lap, embarrassed to admit. You never really talked about your love life with the guys, especially not Neil. Things always got awkward. Neil never discussed his with you either; you'd only briefly meet his girlfriends, and then that was it. You didn't understand why it had to be so awkward between you when discussing dating.

The room went silent at that. You looked towards Neil, his arm retracted away from you and tucked back into his side as you noticed the frown on his face. You could see the look on Jonathan and Lucien's faces, eyes flickering between the two of you, trying to gauge some sort of reaction.

"Oh..." Neil mumbled, sounding disappointed, popping a popcorn kernel into his mouth and chewing dryly. "Good for you... congratulations..."

"We're not getting married," You laughed uncomfortably. "Plus, I doubt it's gonna be anything that special... we're going to some downtown dive bar to have drinks and then probably go back to his place or something..." Neil had a visible expression of distaste, fiddling with his thumbs. You didn't get why he was so upset. "What's his name?" He said, voice barely above a whisper.

"Russell."

"Russell." He repeated coldly. Jonathan and Lucien were utterly silent. The tension was thick, and trying to waft through it felt suffocating.

"Why are you upset?" You blurted out. "Can't you at least be happy for me for once that I'm finally fucking going out with somebody?"

""Course I'm happy for you, Y/N, I just don't want you... to get hurt..." Neil muttered. "That's all."

"Right." You scoffed, scooting to the other side of the couch.

The tension was unbearable, and Jonathan shifted uncomfortably on the couch. Things always got weird when you brought up a guy you like or a guy you were seeing. You never got why. Why would Neil be upset that you were seeing somebody? How many girlfriends did you have to sit and watch him be with? How many painful breakups have you comforted him through? How many times had you encouraged him to go over and talk to a girl he thought was pretty? A countless amount of times, that's what. So the fact that the mood visibly shifted as soon as you said you were going on a date... it pissed you off. Neil was never encouraging when it came to putting yourself out there romantically. It was almost like he was jealous, but you knew he had no reason to be.

"How'd you meet?" Lucien cleared his throat, trying to lighten the air.

"Well when I was here alone the other day... he was in the shop-"

"He was in the shop?" Neil interrupted with a whine, eyebrows knitted together.

"Yeah, he was, so what?" You turned and looked at Neil, glaring at him.

"Can't believe you're going out with a customer," Neil muttered. "Thought you were better than that." "What the fuck's that supposed to mean?"

"It... no... nothing, just-" "God forbid I meet someone!" You were standing up now. Lucien and Jonathan had gotten up and wandered over to the other side of the shop, pretending they were browsing the shelves. "How many fucking bimbos have you asked out that had come in here, Neil?" "Y/N-" "I'm leaving." You barked, grabbing your things and rushing out, not before giving Lucien and Jonathan a gentle wave before slamming the door and walking home in the pouring rain.

The walk home was long and treacherous. Usually, Neil would drive you home. But you couldn't stand to be around him right now, not after his hypocritical words. When you got home, you collapsed in bed, still in your wet clothes, and cried your eyes out. Thunder cracked outside, and your windows rattled with the harsh wind. Your phone began to ring, the familiar ringtone you assigned to Neil's contact buzzing through your pocket. You just groaned.

"Go away, Neil." You grunted into your pillow, bickering to no one. "Why can't you just leave me alone?"

Curling up into a ball, the tears continued to fall. You hated the way you felt towards Neil; you hated that you wanted him to be more than just a friend. Your phone kept ringing, and it only made you cry harder.

You remembered freshman year of high school when you first met Neil; you instantly clicked and were in every class together. Everyone always thought you were dating, and you'd both share a round of 'Ew's and 'That's never gonna happen' and then silently look at each other thinking 'What if' (unbeknownst to each other). You always daydreamed about losing your virginity to Neil, the scrawny, awkward pimply boy who was the sweetest guy you'd ever met, though you ended up losing it to some guy called Lloyd over a dare. It wasn't very romantic, nor was it pleasurable. You just laid there and thought about Neil the whole time.

The sleep you got that night was terrible, but you tried to focus on the positives. You were going on a date! Yay! Not with Neil, though. You spent the day mostly picking out an outfit, mentally scolding yourself for not deciding on it sooner since most of your good clothes were dirty and you were feeling incredibly antsy. Your phone had been blowing up all day. Texts from Neil, Jonathan, and Lucien lit up your screen every other second. You didn't reply, you couldn't, you felt entirely too embarrassed.

Meanwhile, Lucien lounged on the couch at Neil's house, and Jonathan watched Neil pace back and forth in his kitchen while making handmade whipped cream. They were going to make a cake.

"I just don't know what to do, man," Neil huffed, stirring the bowl even more aggressively. Jonathan watched, unsure of how to comfort his friend. "What the fuck do I do? What if this guy is like... her soulmate or something cliche like that?"

"Okay," Jonathan laughed, putting his hand in the air. "Russell is not her soulmate." "How do you know? Have you met him?" Neil hissed back.

"No, but... how do we even know this 'Russell' guy even exists? What if she's just trying to make you jealous?"

"That's a good point!" Lucien quipped in from the other room.

"Thanks, Lucien," Jonathan rolls his eyes before looking back at Neil, who has set the bowl aside, melting to the floor with tears. "Look... dude, I think you should go over there and tell her how you feel... the worst she can say is no..."

"The worst she can say is no," Neil mocked, tears streaming down his face. "Yeah fuckin' right! She's gonna..." Neil sobbed, hiding his hands in his face. "I'll go over there, and she'll... never want to speak to me again... she wouldn't feel the same way... it's impossible!"

Jonathan looked exasperated. It was painfully apparent to everyone but you and Neil that you two were soft for each other. You usually spend every day together. The idea of losing you to some other guy was heartbreaking for Neil. Neil cried like a baby, and Jonathan watched, awkwardly leaning against the counter, unsure what to say.

"Just fucking do it, you fucking idiot!" Jonathan blurted out. "I know she likes you... do you really think Y/N would've stuck around this long with us losers if she didn't feel something for you?"

"I don't know, Jonathan..." Neil whimpers, looking up at Jonathan with the most pitiful eyes anyone has ever seen. He looked straight out of a painting.

"And even if she doesn't feel the same for you..." Jonathan continues, crouching down to be at his height on the floor. "You guys have known each other way too damn long to just throw away a good friendship over you liking her. Y/N's a smart girl. She'll learn to accept it if she doesn't feel the same way."

Neil just buried his face further into his knees, continuing to cry. "Gee, you'd think he just got his period or something." Lucien said unhelpfully.

"Shut up, Lucien!" Neil and Jonathan yelled in unison.

"Listen, I think you should just tell her... she ain't responding to any of my texts... and I don't know how it's gonna go with this Russell guy tonight, so I reckon you should head on over there..." Jonathan rambled. Neil still stayed in the same place, with his head in his hands. "Like right now!" Jonathan yelped, and Neil jumped at the sudden shift in volume and tone.

Neil approached your house as you sat in some dive bar, waiting for your date. His key twisted your locked door. Unbeknownst to him, the house was completely empty. And as he walked in, Russell was yet to arrive, over twenty minutes late to your date. At this point, you'd accepted that you had been stood up and patted yourself down, ensuring you had everything you brought.

"Y/N!" Russell's voice greets you, clearly out of breath. "I'm so sorry for being late... traffic was awful." Yeah, right, you thought. But you gave him a small smile and sat back in your booth. "That's alright," You pressed down your skirt that rested uncomfortably high on your thighs, trying to calm your nerves. The leather of the seats stuck to your thighs as Russell began making small talk. How boring. You found yourself zoning out as you downed the drink Russell had bought you just to try and cope with the terribly grim situation you were dealing with. Russell was some sort of accountant. Just the idea of finance lulled your brain into a state of boredom and borderline sleepiness. Russell's voice was monotone, and the way he licked his cracked lips every time he spoke made you feel queasy.

Meanwhile, Neil sat on your couch, spread out and feeling hopeless. No other person could ever compare to you, never ever, ever, ever. The thought of you meeting this guy he didn't know anything about except for his god-awful name and possibly hitting it off... maybe starting a life with him... the jealousy was sickening. Genuinely sickening.

It was festering within him, after all these years of watching men come into the store and flirt with you, the jealousy... the possessiveness... that another man talking to his Y/N... brought on was just too much for poor little Neil to handle. The jealousy was now fuelling the reason he still stayed. As soon as you walked through that door, with Russell or not, he'd get on his hands and knees... and beg you to love him... beg you to love him the way he loves you.

An hour went by... and then another, by now, it was nearing 10:30 PM, and Neil wasn't even sure if you were coming home. He then remembered your words of 'going back to his place afterwards' and felt like the biggest idiot in the whole world. He felt like he had lost you... like he was mourning you. His heart broke silently, and the heavyweight in his chest grew to be too intense, too blue to even cry. So he stood up and sighed, looking around your apartment before saying his goodbyes. I won't be over much now that she has a boyfriend, Neil thought. But as he turned around, about to walk out the door, there you stood with your key still in the lock looking at him like you'd look at an angel.

"Neil?" You asked softly as if it could possibly be anyone else.

"Y/N," He gasped, rushing to you, hands reaching out to you. "Please listen to what-" "Who's this?" Russell asks with a scoff, leaning on the doorway. Neil backed away like he had just entered a cock-fight he knew he couldn't win.

"Russell..." You shifted to look at him. "I think it's better if you just go... we can... we can see each other another time." "Yeah, alright," Russell shrugged, playing it cool but Neil saw the flicker of annoyance flash through the man's eyes. Russell turned back around and left, leaving the two of you alone.

"What are you doing here, Neil?" You chided, closing the door and deadbolting it behind you before walking over to the couch with Neil.

"I... I need to talk to you..." Neil whispered. You sat right beside each other, staring into each other's eyes. A feeling grew in your chest like you knew what he was about to say. "Y/N..."

"Neil..."

"I..." He faltered, his eyes looking down at his lap as he reached out, holding both your hands in his. Your heart did a spin at this, lips parted as you breathed heavily. What is happening? "I.... fuck... I don't know how to do this," Neil pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed, clearly about to cry. "I've watched so many goddamn movies you'd think I... you'd think I'd have the right thing to say."

"Neil," You whispered, your voice coming out like a warning. "Just say it."

Neil looked up at you, speechless. The expression on his face was truly indescribable. Almost like a dramatic build-up, the room was silent, giving each other this look. This look you had never openly given to each other before.

"I don't want to kill my time with anybody else," Neil began, taking deep breaths. The sounds of cars passing by and trees swaying in the wind could be heard, along with the pounding of your heart. "You're the only one who makes me feel alive."

"Neil," You warned, looking away from him. "Why now?" You blurted out, quickly smacking your hand over your loose mouth.

"Wha...?" Neil asked, torn completely out of the moment by just those two words.

"Why are you telling me this now?" You questioned. Your hands ran down your face. "Why, Neil, Why?"

"What do you mean?" Neil shook his head, eyebrows knitted together. "What do you mean?!"

You were standing up now, you couldn't be close to him, you felt too dizzy. "After all these years... why are you only telling me this now?"

"I-I... I..." Neil stammered, utterly speechless this time. He wasn't expecting this reaction, he couldn't quite place what you were feeling. "I was afraid, Y/N."

"Of what?" You raised your voice and he flinched and suddenly the guilt hit you like a freight train. Tears fell down your face, ruining your makeup.

"Of losing you! Losing the only person in my life who actually matters!" Neil stood up as well, approaching you. Like a game of cat and mouse, you stepped away while he kept trying to round the coffee table to get to you. "I need you, Y/N. I need you to know how badly," He pleaded with you, but you couldn't find a way to let him further into your heart. He'd hit bone if he went any further into it.

"Neil, I don't know anymore! You're so confusing!" You screeched as he bumped into you, knocking you down onto the couch and he knelt in front of you, pleading eyes staring up at you. "I don't know what you want from me!" You cried.

"I want everything," He whispered, hands placed on both of your thighs. "I want to be yours... I want you to be mine. How do I make this any clearer?"

"I don't... I don't have you," You felt like you were being torn apart. "You don't want me. You just... you're just confused! You don't want me! You want..." You closed your eyes, thinking about the women Neil had dated. You felt like he wouldn't be satisfied with you... you felt like you weren't pretty enough or you were too boring or too familiar. "I don't have you... Neil... and I never will."

"You've always had me. Every second of every day... you've had me. I'm yours." Neil whispered, hands squeezing your thighs. "Please. I need to know."

"Need to know what?" "That you'll take me," His fingers travelled further up your goosebump-covered skin. "That you'll let me in, Y/N."

"How?" Your hands shook as you looked him in the eye again. This time... it felt like you were looking at a completely different man. It was no longer just your best friend you were looking at... but the man pleading with you to love him as if you hadn't been silently loving him from afar... all these years.

"Please let me show you."

Neil used his hands to balanced himself as he slowly and intimately leaned in, lips brushing yours every-so slightly. "Neil..." You whispered.

"Shh...." He hushed.

And your lips joined together. It felt like your body had let him in, like he was rewriting your DNA and letting every part of him consume you. He sat beside you now, cradling you in his arms as you kissed slowly. This was all so new to you, unlike any other kiss you had ever experienced. Every other kiss before this just felt like you were trying to negotiate something... but this... this kiss felt like your body had found its missing limb like it had found what it had been lacking all these years.

A string of spit connects the two of you as Neil softly pulls away, panting for breath. "Am I in yet?" He chuckled.

You tilted your head, squinting and stroking your chin, pretending you were struggling to decide. "Maybe... I don't know yet... think you'll have to try harder..." Your voice was still a bit shaky from crying. "Alright," He snorts before diving back in and kissing you rougher this time but still in that romantic, slow way. One hand placed on your hip and the other guiding the back of your head as you made out. Tongues pawing at each other like they were getting acquainted.

"Please touch me," Neil whimpered into your lips, and oh fuck, that was the most divine noise you had ever heard. "Please." "Only 'cause you asked so nicely..." You hummed, pushing him down and straddling him. You watched as he threw his head back, biting his lip and holding back the noises he so desperately wanted to make at the feeling of you sitting on him. Your fingers fiddled with the buttons on his shirt, watching him writhe underneath you at only the slightest touch. You popped each button out individually and slowly until Neil was groaning with annoyance.

"Don't be such a tease, Y/N," Neil grunted from behind gritted teeth once you had his shirt off. "If you felt how hard my dick was right now-"

"Oh, I do!" You giggled cheekily, slowly rolling your pelvis in a slow circle right over the tent in his trousers that poked into your thigh.

"You fucker-" He groaned, reaching his arms up and grabbing your head roughly and pulling you into a soul-sucking kiss, tongue grappling at yours desperately.

You moaned through dancing lips as you had the most delicious friction going. Neil was being just as loud as you, whimpers vibrating through your sternum and into your soul. Neil bucks his hips up pathetically before he breaks the kiss abruptly.

"You've gotta stop or I'm... I'm gonna..." He buried his muzzle in your neck and moaned. "I'm gonna fuckin cum in my pants." "Oh yeah?" You grinned, grinding your hips even faster.

"That means stop!" He grabs ahold of your wrists and flips you around like you were in a wrestling competition. You gasped out as he had you down against your couch, panting heavily above you with that frustrated-and-horny look. "I knew you'd be a little brat." He spat menacingly before grinning like a puppy, leaning down and kissing you heavily.

You ran your hands up your shirt, trying to pull your shirt off which made Neil pull away slowly when he realized you were taking your top off. "Are you sure?" He said breathily, above you, mouth wide open and his eyes glued on every inch of skin that was slowly being revealed more and more. You just nodded your head and smiled. "Oh fuck, you're showing me your boobs." Neil's eyes lit up like a kid in a candy shop. "Neil," You giggled as you got the top off and out came your tits, and there was Neil sitting there in disbelief at the sight of your boobs. "Neil!" You laughed, hitting him with a cushion; he smacked it away before looking back down at them with this look that almost resembled a look of horror. "Stop looking at me like that!"

"Fucking hell, this is the best thing to ever happen to me," Neil chirped. "Fuck... please, Y/N... please let me squeeze them."

"Go ahead, Neil, touch me," You hummed, raising your arms above your head and leaning back with a Cheshire cat grin as his hands slowly and cautiously cusp your boobs. He let out a soft moan and let his eyes flutter shut as he slid his hands over your breasts, you could hear his breath hitch as his thumb slid over your hard nipples. "You're acting like you haven't touched a boob before," You snickered.

"Oh, believe me, I have..." Neil nodded, eyes open now and staring at your tits like he was high. "Just none as good as these..." He leaned in, hot breath fanning your left breast, lips parted but he doesn't go any further than that.

"Put it in your mouth, pretty boy," You demanded, and like the sub you always thought he was, he obeyed with a smile. "Fuck... that's it." The tops of his cheeks were flushed a gentle pink as he sucked and swirled his tongue around your nipple. "Mmm...." He hummed, eyes closed. His full body weight was resting on you while he sucked on your tits, switching between them. You laid there for quite a while and wondered how long he could do this. You braided your fingers through his hair before tugging it back roughly, and he unwillingly popped off your tit with a loud and whoreish whine.

"Hey!" He complained with eyebrows knitted together as his eyes looked between your eyes and spit-covered tits. He's so spoiled.

"I always knew you'd be a little brat." You said, repeating what he said to you earlier.

Neil drools on you helplessly, groaning as you pull on his hair more until you two are sitting up facing each other. You grin once more and lean in, giving him a sweet little kiss. His hands cupping your tits desperately.

"Carry me to the bedroom." You hummed dramatically, raising your arms in the air, and Neil shook his head and chuckled as he leaned down and wrapped you up in his arms.

"I'm so glad you're my best friend," Neil murmured into your warm shoulder as he padded you guys down to the bedroom he had been in countless times.

"Not just best friends, though," You remarked as he laid you down on the bed with your legs over his shoulders. He reached towards your bedside table.

"Condoms?" He hummed, searching through your drawers, but found nothing.

"Birth control... you should know this you idiot!" You giggled at Neil realizing what you just said.

"Can I...?"

"Yes!"

"Like... inside?" He asked, squinting his eyes.

"Yes!" You nodded your head, laughing wildly.

"Fuck you're gonna be the best girlfriend ever!" Neil grunted happily before leaning in and kissing you like you were his last meal.

Meanwhile, he slid your skirt down and unzipped his trousers. You caught a glimpse of his thick cock straining against his briefs and found yourself growing wetter.

"Let me make you mine, Y/N..." He whispered. "Let me finally make you mine."

"I've been yours," You caressed his face. You were both out of your underwear now. The tip of his prick nudging your clit as you looked up at him with so much love. "Please... Neil... please... I need you so bad."

Neil nodded silently, closing his eyes as he lined up his aching cock with your dripping cunt. The initial push in made your mind go blank and your spine arch even further into his touch, Neil moaned as he pushed himself into you fully.

"I can't believe this is happening..." Neil whispered. "This is so much better than I ever imagined it to be."

"You thought about me?" You grinned idiotically, high on the way he was stretching you out.

"Fuck," He groaned, hair falling over his pretty face. "Every fuckin' night."

"Me too."

His hands were placed firmly on your hips, and as he receded back until it was just the head of his cock in you, his fingers slid up to grope at your tits that his eyes had been practically glued on all night. Neil fucked you nice and slow, relishing in the way your pussy felt around him. Your hands were gripping the sheets, legs still thrown over his shoulders and mouth spewing incoherent words of pleasure.

"Neil... baby... oh my god," Your eyes so desperately wanted to shut but you wanted to enjoy how pretty he looked above you. "I love you."

Those words hung heavy in the air for a moment, Neil's hips never faltering as he leaned down and kissed you. "I love you, Y/N." Neil whispered against your hot mouth.

That was all you needed to hear. His cock slid in and out of you, both groaning and moaning as your bodies finally became one. Neil's mouth hung agape against yours, breathing in each other's air. Neil's face was flushed a bright red, pupils blown wide, and his hair messy from how you ran your fingers through it. Your noses brushed together as his pelvis rutted against your clit, dick still so deep inside you.

"I love you so much," Neil panted, thrusting into you desperately. "I always have..."

"Love you..." You whimpered, eyes fluttering shut and your arms slithering around his neck as the pleasure consumed you from the inside out. "So much... Neil..."

Neil pressed a kiss to your cheek, nuzzling your face as he ground into you. "Fuck, please let me cum inside you."

"I'm so close, Neil..." You whispered. "Just hold on a little longer."

Neil grunted. A pyramid of pleasure building within you, ready to crash down and crumble inside of you. Your orgasm grew like a million tiny vines curling around each individual nerve until you saw colors you had never seen before.

"Squeezing me so tight," Neil whined. "I need to cum... please..."

"Cum," You commanded and he did.

Coming undone together felt like it was truly sealing your fate. You had never felt so close to him; you knew you could and would spend the rest of your life with him. He mewled into the crook of your neck, cum spilling into you as you convulsed, orgasm swallowing you whole and ridding you of all your senses. All you felt was him and the impending pleasure devouring you. Neil's whimpers only further pushed you over the edge.

"Y/N," He moaned like a whore. "Fuck... Y/N..." He whined right into your ear as his cock continued to fill you with his warm cum.

Your brain couldn't conceive a proper thought. You couldn't will yourself to speak as he collapsed on top of you. You smile as you lay there together, skin on skin, hearts pounding in sync. Neil pulled out of you with a quiet hiss, picking you up and curling up with you under the sheets.

You looked at each other silently, both still calming down. Your thumb drew infinity signs onto his cheekbone, slowly blinking at the boy you had always wanted- no, needed.

"That was the best thing to ever happen to me," Neil whispered, sleepy eyes looking at you full of adoration. "You're the best thing to ever happen to me." Neil pecked you softly on the lips. "I can't believe it took me this long to tell you... I... I'm sorry." "Shh..." You hushed. "It's okay... we're together now... that's all that matters."

You lay in silence once more, hearts still pounding in your chests. You took in every detail of him, which you had memorized countless times before, but this time it was different. It felt much more intimate. Every crease, every freckle... every tiny minuscule detail of him was the most beautiful thing you had ever seen.

"Does this mean we're boyfriend-girlfriend now?" Neil chuckled, rolling over onto his back, pulling you into his side.

"Shut up, Neil," You giggled. "You're such a dork."

"You love it." He quipped.

"I do," You agreed. "I love you."

"I love you," Neil smiled sweetly, and as he leaned in to kiss you again, you were quickly interrupted by the sound of Neil's phone ringing. "Fuck me," He grunted, reaching down to grab at his jeans where his phone was. "Hello?" He said with a sour face. "Hi, Jonathan, everything is okay... yes, she's here with me..." Neil looked down at you with a smirk. "Yes, Lucien can borrow my goggles... I don't care... can we talk about this later?" Neil hung up and tossed his phone aside before looking back at you with a sheepish smile.

"What was that about?"

"Well... erm... Jonathan just asked if everything went well... between us..." Neil blushed.

"He knows you're here?"

"He's the reason I came over... he gave me the courage to... y'know... tell you how I feel."

You rolled your eyes and laughed before kissing him deeply. You felt like everything was okay. Now that you had Neil in your arms, you could handle anything that life threw at you. Neil was already planning your wedding in his head as you shared the love between you in a kiss. You wouldn't want it to be anyone else

-

I NEED NEIL LEWIS.... LIKE RIGHT NOW!!! Ugh, I love him so much. Anyway, hope you enjoyed <3

[spinningwebsandtales]

Imagine Sneaking Through The Citadel To Meet With Jack

Praetorian Jack X FemReader

Rating: T+

Warnings: Suggestive themes, steam, lots of kissing, basically over 1,000 words of pure self indulgence (no I'm not sorry)

Word Count: 1.4k

(A/N:) I went to go see Furiosa Friday....now I'm obsessed! Especially one character in particular, so I had to write something for him! Cause I have no control over what the idea worms bring to eat at my spastic brain! So fellow fangirls that watched Furiosa please enjoy this little indulgent creation of mine! Until next time happy reading! ~Countess

Mild spoilers below!!

The sun setting behind the rocky horizon of the Wasteland's left a dusky orange haze painting The Citadel. Majority of the residences were beginning to settle down for the evening, except for several War Boys taking the first watch of the evening. You waited patiently in a darkening alcove, pressed tightly against the wall. The thin clothing you had to wear barely fought back the chill and the terror of getting caught had you fighting shivers and breathing softly. Getting caught wasn't an option as it would have you in serious trouble all around. Not just for yourself but the man you were sneaking around for. His death would be inevitable if he was spotted with you. A couple War Boys walked by, talking about the possibility of heading out to battle soon. You sucked in a breath, pressing further against the wall. They walked by, not even giving a glance in your direction. This was the hardest part, waiting for the darkness to deepen so you could further make your way out of the well guarded halls.

While the whole place had started to settle hours ago, you didn't move until you knew the moon was high in the sky and the watchmen had become lax in their duties. Not many people were stupid enough to challenge Immortan Joe, so the War Boy's didn't take the night watch seriously. On light bare feet you stuck close to the shadows and quickly made your way to a hidden part of The Citadel. Your heart hammered in your chest and you clutched at your fluttering wrap. Though you had done this several times, you just knew you'd eventually get caught and thrown out into the horrible outside world. Then mere moments passed, though it felt like a lifetime, you squeezed into a hidden opening of an abandoned alcove. You sighed in relief when hands wrapped around you, one on your hip the other across your mouth. Your muffled surprise was silenced when you caught a familiar glimpse of dark hair and a scarred lip.

"Don't do that," you seethed when Jack removed his hand.

"Always so nervous," he chuckled sitting back against the cold natural stones.

"You know what happens if we get caught," you glared. Jack just shrugged and you huffed.

Praetorian Jack, The Citadel's greatest warrior and the man who kept the War Rig running. His team was known as the best and all the War Boys fought for a chance to ride for him. He was the first man to show you an ounce of kindness when you arrived at The Citadel. Sold to Immortan Joe in exchange for food, the man who you thought loved you, dumped you at his feet and never looked back. Being barren saved you from the fate of one of his wives, you found yourself doing any chores that was deemed worthy of your station. Thrown to the feet of Jack, you had become his problem for a short while until you were drug to another part of The Citadel for other tasks. That short time with the quiet gruff man had something grow between you, hence the sneaking to see one another.

Jack offered out his hand, knowing that you were losing yourself within horrible memories and he worried about you. These were the few times that made life worth living. You shook your head taking his offered hand and he lead you closer to him. You sat down between his legs, resting your back against his warm chest. He had forgone his leather jacket, leaving his rough clothing to catch against your linen garments. His presence and scent also soothing your nerves, as he held your hand, rubbing the top of your hand. His hands calloused and scarred but tender and kind. His nose brushing against the back of your neck, leaving you shivering. He kissed you gently, careful not to leave any marks. You leaned in backwards, staring up at him. Jack gave you a small smile, kissing your forehead causing you to giggle quietly. His fingers tangling with yours, he pressed another kiss to your forehead, before his stare became heated. You sat still letting him litter you with attention. He kissed your temple, cupping your cheek as he kissed your nose, cheek, before pausing above your lips. Your head still leaned back he took in your features before capturing your lips in an searing kiss. The upside down kiss awkward, but making your bare toes curl.

He released you to turn you around, slipping you back down onto his lap your legs wrapped around his waist. Cupping your cheeks with both hands, he pulled you back into his embrace. His stubble scratching against your soft skin, but you sighed into his mouth, your arms resting on his shoulders as you played with the long dirty strands of his hair. Jack deepened his kiss, tasting you in a more passionate way. You melted, unable to keep yourself upright. He released your cheeks, wrapping strong arms around your body and holding you tightly against his body. Air became a necessity too quickly and it had you both parting against each other. Warm puffs of air brushing against your wet and kiss swollen lips, Jack pressed his forehead against yours. You traced his features, your fingers soft against his rough face. He shivered in delight kissing and nipping at the digits. When he pulled away, he noticed some of his remaining war grease had smudged against your forehead. He licked his thumb cleaning it away.

"I don't want this to end," you said.

"Maybe one day it doesn't have to," Jack replied.

You stared at him with a curious look. He lost himself, staring at you deeply. You were an oasis in the desert. No amount of fighting and driving could give him a jolt of adrenaline like you did. It was these few stolen moments that he truly lived for. He didn't care what Immortan Joe wanted, if it gave him you then he would do whatever it took. He remembered those tearful fearful eyes of yours, when the War Boys had thrown you at his feet. You had lost everything and you didn't know what to expect. But when he held out that dirty, blood drenched hand you took it. Raising yourself from the floor and then it ended for Jack. He had to protect you and learn more from you. Your story, like everyone else's was filled with sadness and tragedy. He longed to make you forget all the horrible and hard times. And these fleeting times, hidden away from the watchful eyes of The Citadel and it's overlord he got to make that promise come to fruition. Stolen kisses, quiet sighs, and warm embraces. It was all here, that oasis for his soul.

"I will find away to save you," he promised. But he didn't want you to answer, to protest. So he kissed you, hard, fiercely, silencing any protests immediately. You held tightly, trying to keep up as Jack laid you gently back onto the stones. You threaded your fingers through his hair. He was all you could see, all that mattered as he leaned over you. Releasing you once more he laid down beside you. Tucking you into his side so you both could look up at the stars. A dusty haze always above your heads, but not enough to darken the night sky. You reached up, like you could scoop them up. Jack slid his hand up your arm his hand cupping the back of yours as his fingers also reached to the sky. Like you both could grab destiny together that played amongst the stars. You pulled your gaze from up above, looking towards the gentle man beside you.

"Let's save each other," you replied with conviction.

"You already have," Jack held on tighter. You searched for any sign that he said that just to make you feel better, only to see truth staring you in the face. You grasped his hand pulling it down to your chest. He felt your heartbeat thundering against your chest and Jack knew that he would give up anything to protect that kind heart. He held on tightly, not wanting to let any second pass him by in your presence. Even when time ran out and you both had to part ways, he held you against him. Taking you with him no matter where he was. And every time he looked up at the sky he could see you gazing back at him. You pushed him onwards and you held your ground. Knowing that the promised moments together were worth fighting for.

[cookiescribble]

Sweet Dreams

A/N: happy star wars day everybody! every year the anakin girlie in me comes out when I marathon all the movies. I wrote this about 3 years ago when I was having chronic nightmares and I finally felt like sharing 🫶🏻 - mod angel

Pairing: Anakin Skywalker x Reader

Summary: Anakin knows all too well how bad it feels to wake up alone after a nightmare, so he’s perfectly happy to comfort the one he loves most in their vulnerable moment.

~~~

I woke with a start, my breathing heavy as I escaped the horrible dreamworld that I was quickly forgetting. Tears began to fill my eyes; I didn’t know why I felt so scared from a dream, but suddenly I felt very empty and sad. Anakin wasn’t in bed with me; I probably slept late again and he was up doing something somewhere in the apartment.

I hugged my blanket close to me as I finally got up from our bed. I walked out of the bedroom wearily, needing to find where he was.

I walked into the kitchen and saw him cooking something on the stove, his back to me.

“Ani?” I called meekly, still hugging the blanket to my chest.

He turned around to look at me, immediately growing concerned by the tears in my eyes and the blanket I was clinging to for comfort.

“Hey, sweetheart. What’s wrong?” he asked, quickly striding toward me to hug me close to him. He picked me up off the ground and I wrapped my legs around his waist, the blanket dropping to the floor as I wrapped my arms behind his neck.

“Bad dreams again.” I said meekly, still teary-eyed and sniffly. I nuzzled my face into his neck, already starting to feel a bit calmer just being near him.

He pulled away a little to look at me. He wiped a stray tear coming from my eye. “I’m sorry, sweetie. it’s okay now. Nothing will hurt you; I would never let that happen.”

I nodded, pressing my forehead against his. “I know you wouldn’t,” I responded softly.

He gently ran his fingers through my hair, placing a kiss on my forehead. He hugged me close to him and spoke gently into my ear. “How about this: I’m gonna make you some breakfast, and if you’re still feeling sad after that we can go back to bed and rest for a little bit.” He looked me in the eyes and cradled my face. “Okay?”

I nodded and nuzzled my face into his hand, the feeling of his skin on mine comforting me.

“Okay,” he whispered again. “I have to put you down while I cook, though.” He walked to the counter and set me down gently, stroking my cheek before walking back to the stove. I started to feel sniffly again without being physically attached to him.

He must’ve sensed my mood shift because he bent down to collect the blanket off the floor and handed it to me. He kissed me gently on the lips and took my hands in his. “As soon as I’m done cooking, I promise I’ll keep you in my arms and won’t let you go all day. It’ll just be you and me today, angel”

I nodded, hugging the soft blanket close to me and lightly kicking my feet softly as I watched him cook. The food started to smell really nice, making my stomach growl. He chuckled softly as he started putting the food on a plate. “Not much longer, my love. I promise.”

He finished up and put the food down on the kitchen table. He walked over to me, and I reached my arms up to wrap them around his neck as he picked me up off the counter. He walked back over to the table, placing me on my feet on the floor before sitting in the chair and pulling me onto his lap. He wrapped his arms around my waist and kissed me on the cheek. “I promise you don’t have to leave my arms for the rest of the day.”

I nuzzled into him and put my hands over his at my waist. I turned my head to him to give him a quick kiss before starting to eat the breakfast he made. It was delicious, and it helped me start to feel a little better; being hungry never helps a bad mood.

When we finished eating, I stood up so Anakin could put the plates in the sink. He walked back over to me and picked me up again. He kissed my forehead and asked, “So, what do you want to do now, angel? Do you want to lay in bed for a while?”

I took a second to think. I wasn’t tired enough to go back to sleep, and I’d feel guilty making him stay and do nothing while I slept. But laying in bed with him sounded nice. “Yeah, I’d like that.”

He hooked his arms under my legs that were wrapped around his waist and walked to our bedroom. He placed me gently on the bed before getting in himself, pulling the covers over the both of us.

“I’m not tired enough to go back to sleep,” I started, finding my place in his arms as I lay my head on his chest. “But I’d like to cuddle with you for a little while.”

He rested his head on mine. “That’s perfectly fine with me, princess.”

I blushed at his pet name. I loved when he called me that. I looked up at him and kissed him, slower this time. He ran his fingers through my hair as we kissed, softly and sweetly.

The slow, comforting movements of his hands in my hair started to soothe me, and I could feel just how tired I was after such restless sleep. I pulled away from the kiss, burying my face in the crook of his neck.

He laughed softly, kissing the top of my head. “How about you get some more sleep, hm? I’ll be right here the whole time; I’ll make sure you have sweet dreams this time.”

I just nodded, since I didn’t have the energy to argue with him. I needed to get some rest, and I knew I could now that I was in his arms.

His hands wrapped around my waist, my head moving to lay on his chest. The rhythmic sound of his heartbeat soothed me like a lullaby.

As I was starting to drift off, I heard him whisper softly: “I love you.”

“Love you too… So much…” I mumbled, already half asleep. His sweet words were the last thing I heard before I drifted off, snug in his arms as I finally entered a peaceful sleep.

[cher-rei]

Hi👋! I was wondering if I could request a Gavi x reader fluff fic which includes this prompt “I have no idea what I’m doing. Oh God we need a real adult to take care of you”? Basically reader is sick and Gavi says the prompt. I'm new to this blog so I'm not sure if this is how you take requests. Thank you❣️

deep breaths- pablo gavi [ P.G ]

but I promise you this. I'll always look out for you [sparks- coldplay]

pairing: pablo gavi x fem!reader

summary: taking care of you when sick brings more anxiety for gavi than he'd thought.

genre(s): established relationship, fluff, slight angst

[wc: 2.2k] masterlist

notes: I was sick while writing this and I swear I felt the words float off my screen because my head was spinning like crazy. but this prompt was cute as hell so I hope you enjoy it xx

the house was empty— all the lights were still off, except for the blue hue from the swimming pool's lights that could be seen illuminating through the ceiling to floor window in the living room.

a heavy sigh left your lips when you shut the front door, your sluggish strides heavy and painful as you made your way to the couch so you could catch your breath after today's stress.

you were drowning in university work and assignments and have been staying in the library for excessive hours after classes just to get a grip on whatever was piled on you. this was the fourth time this week that you'd gotten home late which gavi wouldn't be happy about at all.

so when you saw that his car still wasn't in the driveway when you pulled up you thanked the heavens and the fact that he was still at pedri's house. he hated when you over-exerted yourself which you were prone to— being the workaholic that you were.

he never failed to give you a heartfelt scolding whenever this happened, telling you that you needed to eat, reminding you to take a break and even resorting to forcing you out of your chair just to rest with him.

but today you weren't ready for that, not with the way that your head was pounding. when you sat down on the couch a wave of relief washed over you and the urge to succumb to the tiredness sat on your chest but you couldn't fall asleep... you just needed to rest your eyes for a minute.

there was excitement in gavi's strides when he got home, wanting nothing more than to wrap his arms around you and not let go until the following day. he just missed you that much to the point where he barely said bye to pedri when he left and got straight into his car.

it was 8:24 p.m. so he knew you'd still be awake, probably in the kitchen baking something seeing as it was friday. every friday you could be caught baking something to distress yourself with a smile and the music playing while you hummed carelessly.

but that wasn't the case today because the house was eerily quiet. gavi didn't like that one bit and immediately called for you, seeing as it was dark. but when he got no response his pace quickened only to find you sprawled on the couch still with your clothes on.

not again, he thought and crouched down beside you.

"amor I'm home," he whispered and nudged you slightly, earning a disgruntled moan from you while you took a bit to wake up.

he watched you sit up with slight worry and it was clear that you hadn't planned on falling asleep judging by your confused expression as you looked around, until you were somewhat coherent.

you looked at your boyfriend with a lopsided smile. "hello baby, how was your day?"

"are you feeling okay?" he asked, brushing off your question and put a hand to your cheek. he wasn't pleased with how warm you were and moved his hand your forehead but you tried to pull it off.

you were screwed, to say the least, because you were burning up. before gavi could even say anything about the matter you pushed the fact that you were fine and tried to stand up. horrible decision. a sharp pain ran through your head and you swore you could feel it in your eye sockets.

a painful groan left your lips and immediately gavi was at your side, his hand carefully around your waist for stability in fear that you were going to fall. "oh no. I knew this was going to happen."

hear it comes.

your eyes shut tightly while gavi rambled on about you being sick, saying that you should have listened to him and not over exert yourself because he knew how bad of a toll it took on you. you loved him, but right now was not the time for a lecture.

"pablo I'm fine." you kissed the back of his hand reassuringly but he couldn't help but feel horrible. "I just need some rest okay?"

"I think you need more than just some sleep baby. this--"

you shook your head slightly, looking directly into his eyes so that he could see that you were fine. "--I'm going to take a shower and then I'm going to sleep. there's no need to worry because I'm fine, okay?"

okay? as if. gavi could see right through you and even though he played it off, the second you hopped into the shower he was already halfway to the pharmacy with his phone in hand, his mother on the line for proper instructions.

he's never actually taken care of someone when they were sick before because funny enough he was always the patient. whether it be an injury or the flu you were taking care of him and now it was his turn to be just as gentle and patient until you felt better.

his mother asked him questions in and out— how high was your temperature? were your muscles aching? were you throwing up? all questions he couldn't answer that well because he just knew that you were sick and needed medication immediately.

"uhm she's hot...? I mean she couldn't walk so I guess so. I don't think she even ate enough to be able to throw up."

the panic in his voice had his mother stressing just as much but she stayed on the line until he got back home and wished him luck because she knew just how stubborn you were when it came to being sick.

when he got home you were sleeping, your eyebrows knitted together in discomfort which made him feel horrible. how was he supposed to take care of you like this? he didn't know what he was doing at all.

but gavi pushed it aside and decided to call it a night and left the bathroom light on just in case. he crept in beside you, making sure to place a soft kiss on your forehead that had gotten significantly warmer than last he checked but he didn't bother waking you.

it didn't take long for him to fall asleep, his arm loosely wrapped around your torso and it was a miracle that he didn't wake up because of all your tossing and turning.

beads of sweat began to form on your forehead and you felt light-headed but still tried your best to at least try and sleep. but you just couldn't, not when you felt this uncomfortable and were in pain.

at some point, you got up for some water to try and soothe whatever you were feeling but then the hot flushes started, and you were struggling to breathe. you were an utter mess, dizzily making your way back to bed while the floor spun beneath you.

short of breath you leant against your bedroom door— and the bang must've been loud because gavi began to stir awake, which was the last thing you wanted. he woke up to the empty space beside him and immediately shot up, his eyes squinted due to the bathroom light being on.

you watched his blurry figure get out of bed, not able to make out what he was saying by the overwhelming feeling of pain and discomfort drowning you. gavi pulled you toward his chest, his hand lightly touching your forehead and neck.

next thing you knew, you were sitting on the bathroom floor unable to catch a proper breath because you were so overwhelmed.

gavi was panicking— his heart racing as well as his thoughts because he just didn't know what to do. the closest he'd gotten to taking care of you was when you were on your period, and his routine had already been drilled in for the past two years you've been together.

he'd have your toiletry cabinet stocked, and your snack cabinet never emptied. your heating pads were always at the ready along with your tea. and your most important necessity— him. you took refuge on his chest in your moments of pain, his hand carefully places over your stomach to soothe the pain.

but this was different. he felt useless, watching you helplessly like a lost puppy.

"it's okay amor, I'm here," he said soothingly and set you against his chest on the bathroom floor, but not even the cold tiles could soothe your increasing temperature.

you fell limp against your boyfriend but fought the urge to break down. instead, a painful groan left your lips, one that had gavi holding onto you tighter in fear.

"it hurts," you croaked while trying to steady your shaky breaths.

"what hurts hm?" it sounded as if he was on the verge of tears and that had your heart shattered. gavi was paranoid by nature, especially when it came to you. so you couldn't begin to imagine what was running through him mind right now.

you took his hand into yours and put it on your chest. "everything. everything hurts."

gavi felt your shaky breaths and sat in silence, unsure of what to say— but he needed to get you that medication immediately. it wasn't going to have an immediate effect and he'd probably have to take you to the doctor tomorrow but as long as it soothed some of your pain.

he got up from the floor as delicately as he could, watching as you tried to sit up by yourself which wasn't what he wanted. "come here, angel." he picked you up with ease, cradling your body gently as you wrapped your legs around his waist and rested your head on his shoulders.

while he walked down the stairs he wondered how you didn't pass out on them on your way to fetch that glass of water. his mind flooded with thoughts like this until he made it to the kitchen and set you down on the island.

"pablo," you said breathlessly and your boyfriend immediately got through the last of your medication and set it down beside you, a worried hum leaving his lips.

he tucked a strand of hair behind your ear, and held the pills in front of you. you counted 4 and took each one as quick as possible, the water making no difference to the cooling of your temperature when it travelled down your throat.

by the time you were done, gavi had gotten a fresh cloth and began dabbing it on your neck and forehead. the two of you were enveloped in silence— your head spinning but your boyfriend's fingers resting on the small of your back, tracing small shapes on your skin beneath your shirt.

it was when you let your head rest on his shoulder that gavi felt the need to speak up, just above a whisper. "I have no idea what I'm doing right now."

your heart swelled at the sound of his half-hearted chuckle because for someone who didn't know what he was doing, he was doing a great job. he'd been so patient with you from the second he saw you lying limp on the couch. he held his composure and handled you so gently, taking the initiative and making sure that you felt at least somewhat better.

he didn't see it, but you did and were so grateful.

you left a light kiss on his neck. "don't say that amor. sure I still feel like passing out--"

"--are you serious?" he asked in shock, an upset groan leaving his mouth as he pulled away from you. "this isn't going to work."

"no baby--"

he was panicking. beating himself up for thinking that he could take care of you in this state, what did he know? he was only a child. "oh god, we need a real adult. someone who actually knows what they're doing."

you couldn't help but stifle a laugh at his rambling out of sheer panic. it was endearing in a way, your gaze softening at the innocent glint in his eyes because he was just so adorable. you urged him to calm down, your voice was soft and warm as you pulled him closer to you.

"are you not an adult, hm?" you teased with a smile and cupped his cheeks, and to your surprise, he said no without hesitation.

gavi proceeded to go on about how he still had you treating him like a baby, that you took care of him and that he was utterly useless when it came to helping you. of course, you strongly disagreed because you did feel better.

he stared into your eyes, trying to calm himself down while you reassured him. "do you not make me feel at ease? safe? comfortable? loved?" you kissed him on the cheek when he didn't reply.

"exactly, so stop being ridiculous."

gavi melted at your touch, sinking further into the crook of your neck for another moment before he took you back to bed so that you could get some sleep.

you rested your head on his chest, legs over his because you felt the need to be that close to him tonight. you felt sleep finally settle on your chest at the soothing feeling of his fingers running through your hair.

"I love you."

gavi's chest tightened at the suddenness. he shut his eyes and thanked the universe that you were in his life and kissed the top of your head. "I love you too, cariño."

[tainted-liquor]

'You love me'✧˖°

Arachkids x Reader! TWs: I don't think there are any Ingredients: Sugar, kisses, and a lil bit of smiles ! W/C: 1080 A/N: Sorry if Gwen is a lil ooc, I really don't write for her that much lol. FIRST REQUESTTTT EUUUGHH!! /pos

Miles Morales

You watched as your boyfriend paced around his room, occasionally walking up the wall as he ranted about some sort of 'Villain-of-the-week", laying flat on your stomach on top of his bed as he hung upside down from his roof. You chuckled to yourself as an Idea manifested in your head, raising yourself up slightly. "Hey, Miles."

"Huh-...Yeah? You need something, love?" He snapped out of his trance and turned to face you as he dangled from the ceiling. You inched closer to him, analyzing his confused expression as you cupped the sides of his face within your hands, pressing a gentle and loving kiss to his lips at a slightly awkward angle. He may have been there physically in front of you, but as soon as he felt your soft lips on his he was gone. He quickly returned the kiss, gently cupping your face in the same manner that you had cupped his.

When you pulled back, Miles gave a small frown before quickly fixing his expression. He already felt himself missing your touch, quickly pulling you back in before you could even think.

"What was that for?"

"Cuz I love you, Miles."

Hobie Brown

Now Hobie was a slightly different case. He more than likely preferred having two feet firmly planted on the ground, and was more than likely not home. Being Spider-Man and an infamous music artist took up most of his time, so there were some days when he really just...not home. So here you were in the middle of the night, bundled up in his bedsheets half asleep and missing your beloved boyfriend. You heard the front door to his canal boat open as you heard his familiar East London dialect muffle itself at the front door

"I'll see you guys later. Gonna check on the missus."

You heard him shut the door as quietly as the door would allow him, his heavy boots thudding against the hardwood floors. The bedroom door creaked open as I slowly rose up from my comfortable position on my side. His eyes widened a fraction when he saw that I was partially asleep, wasting absolutely 0 time in apologizing for waking me up. "Sorry, lovey. Didn't mean to wake ya." He beamed as he looked down at me from the side of his bed.

"You didn't bee...don't worry" you sighed while simultaneously leaning upwards towards the punk. "Can you do me a favor though? Pleaaaase~?"

"Yeah love whatever you-...No." Hobie immediately knew what you were talking about as soon as he saw your eyes gravitate toward the ceiling. Despite being the Spider-Man of his world, he was very afraid of hanging upside down for longer periods. He said it felt 'suffocating and made him dizzy.'

"C'mon, I haven't seen you in two days I wanna kiss my man." You pouted, turning away from him and crossing your arms against your chest. Hobie let out a long sigh before walking up the wall and standing perfectly still on his ceiling. "There. Happy?" He grinned as he placed both hands over his hips.

"Very." you smiled as you eagerly smashed his lips into yours, attempting to hold the kiss as long as possible due to the possibility of it never happening again.

Pavitr Prabhakar

Your boyfriend, Pavitr is Spider-Man. Now of course he didn't tell you just yet, but everyone in Mumbattan knew. The hair, the clothes, the horrible faux deep voice, it was completely obvious to everyone but him. Not that you minded though, if anything you found his cluelessness cute. So when you sat on the ledge of a rather tall building fidgeting with your phone, In came your friendly neighborhood Spider-Man from above.

"Hey Mer-" He cleared his throat quickly, forcing his voice down an octave before carefully selecting his next few words. "Hey, you really shouldn't be sitting this close to the ledge! I think you might want to move back juuuust a smidge!" he reasoned, the white-painted eyes in his mask narrowing shut, indicating that loving smile you'd see every time he was out of his mask. You scooted back on the ledge slightly, looking up at the slowly spinning spider as he dangled from an even higher ledge. You fought back giggles at his slight hypocrisy, before answering with a small

"Why thank you, Spider-Man! What would I do without you here to protect me!" You joked with a barely concealed chuckle. You reached out towards him, gently taking his upside-down face into your hands. Pav didn't mean to lean into your touch so easily, it was just so hard to keep up the façade of not knowing you. It became clear at that moment that you knew who resided under the mask when you pulled the soft fabric up over his nose, pressing a small kiss to his lips before pulling back with your usual smile. His face grew slightly pink as he watched you walk back into your building, giving him a small wave and mouthing "Bye Pav!"

Gwen Stacy

It was a relatively warm morning as you went for your daily walk on the streets of Brooklyn. Around this time your girlfriend would normally be on patrol, on the lookout for any crime or anomalies. So instead of dwelling on her abscence, you made your way to the nearby abandoned bridge. You made the space as comfortable as possible, kicking away any debris or stones before sitting on the ground and scrolling through social media on your phone. You heard a small thwip noise above you, looking up to see your girlfriend standing en pointe with her arms crossed on the side of the bridge above.

"Hey Gwennie!" You called as she walked down the pillar of the bridge, bringing herself closer to you so you didn't have to shout. "Hey!" She said as she pulled off her mask to reveal that beautiful smile of hers. "What are you doing all the way over here? Shouldn't you be on your walk?" She asked with a tilt of her head.

"Yeah, normally. Just wanted a change in scenery" you shrugged as you stood up, craning your neck to look up at the sideways spider. You beckoned her closer, giving a short and simple kiss as she looked at you with blown pupils and the most furious blush you've ever seen. You watched as she slung her mask back on, covering her face with her hands and webbed away. She was so adorable

[multi-fandom-imagine]

A/n: I’m doing it!

When you first told Simon that you were pregnant the man froze, he went silent and stepped into the other room. You couldn’t blame him, you two never discussed children and you knew of his past, of the abuse. You were sure that it would take a little for this to hit him. For him to get used to the knowledge about being a father.

It took him a few hours to finally talk to you, for him to apologize and hold you.

“I’m scared….I’m scared I wont be a good father. That I’ll some how be like my father.”

Heart clenching, you hated the thought of the man thinking that low of himself. That he could ever think that he’d be such a terrible father. Placing your hand on his cheeks you smiled. “Simon, you are nothing like your father. You will never be like that horrible bastard. You are a good man, a wonderful man that is a wonderful husband, a man that cares about his team and I know you’ll be a loving father.”

Closing his eyes, Simon slowly wrapped his arms around your waist tugging you in close, your words calming him down.

+•+

Simon seemed to become more protective of you once you became further along in your pregnancy. The man doting on you, taking care of wherever needs you have, going out to grab whatever you might crave.

He loved taking care of you, his fingers now messaging out any knots you might have in your back. “How’s that love?” Waiting for a response, Simon then tipped his head forward to see what was wrong though a chuckle escaped his lips seeing that you had fallen asleep. “Let’s get you to a proper bed.”

Lifting you up, he then carried you off to the bedroom. Gently laying you down he placed a kiss to your cheek then gave your belly a kiss. “Daddy loves you. I do hope you’ll be like your mother.”

Getting himself comfortable, he let his arm wrap protectively around your belly as he slowly fell asleep next to you.

+•+

“Simon”

While he may be on leave, Simon was never one to stop from working as he read out a few reports for Soap to take care of. “Yes love?”

“I want sex.”

Blinking, he placed the reports down. He pinched the bridge of his nose then ran his fingers through his hair. “Again?”

“Yes again! It’s not my fault I’m horny all the time.Bedroom! Now!”

Pushing away from his desk he nodded his head watching you walk though it was more of a waddle now away. “Yes love.”

+•+

It was a long birth, the man never leaving your side.His hand holding yours, know matter how much you screamed he did his best to stay strong, he did his best to reassure you how well you were doing. Though he finally felt like hr could breath again hearing his child cry.

A girl, a beautiful little girl, Simon has cried only a handful of times in his life and once his newborn was placed on his arms he couldn’t help but shed a few tears.

“My little girl, you’re finally here.”

+•+

Simon did his best to make sure you took it easy at home. He would change the diapers, feed her at night because he did not want to wake you. He felt like he was doing a good job at being a father.

Stepping near his daughters crib he slowly lifted her up, she was crying and not wanting to wake you he smiled for a moment cradling her to his chest. Sitting down in the rocking chair she let him grab a hold of his fingers, little sobs escaping her lips.

“Hush now bunny. Pop is gonna sing to you, now I may not have a beautiful voice like your mother but…we’ll my own mum used to sing me this song.”

Waking up to singing on the baby monitor was something you didn’t expect to happen, seeing that it was your husband was the one that was singing. You couldn’t help but melt watching him cradle her close.

Not wanting to interrupt the sweet moment you fell back asleep.

Simon Riley was nothing like his father, he was someone even better.

[ultraacherries]

Need - jude bellingham 🍒

this is my first time writing a fic so my grammar and spelling is horrible lol i’m open to criticism so feel free to tell me what i should improve on !! if you want to leave suggestion all feel free !!

Him wanting you was an understatement.

He needed you.

He needed to ruin you in every way possible.

He needed to undress the innocence that wrapped around you like a cloth and taint you with every sin known to man.

He needed to break every part of you and then piece you back together with love that is on the edge of consuming him.

The lustful attention thrown at you did nothing to sedate the thoughts of having you to himself, your very being belonging to him. Only him.

Everyone could see it, from his unwavering longing gazes, to his protective touches, everyone but you. Your oblivious nature didn’t mean your feelings towards him were platonic like they once were.

You started to feel a sudden shift when Jude moved to real madrid, his confidence and physique filled you with an indescribable feeling, one you’ve never felt before, his friendship was always something you treasured dearly but now you found yourself craving for something more.

You might be oblivious however he wasn’t. He saw the way you’d blush when he’d hold your hand protectively guiding you through a crowd or when you clenched your thighs together as you watch him working out. But he knew you wasn’t ready, although your thoughts mirrored his, your thoughts were clouded with confusion as to what these emotions were. He was willing to wait for you, rejecting the urge to destroy his years of self control.

That was until he saw you in Rodrygo’s embrace after a match. Jude gathered his things ready to finally see you and sink into your warm presence only to find you with someone else.He was aware that your relationship is nothing more than a “platonic pair”, but his self control cracked as unreasonable rage consumed him.

You felt a hand dragging you out of the stadium, into the parking lot and pulled you into the passenger seat, to then sit on the opposite side without a word.(pretend jude has his license lol)

You were about to question what the hell just happened but his clenched jaw and tight grip on the steering wheel made you hesitate a little. After a few minutes of silence you mustered up the courage to ask.

“Jude are you mad at me” you said quietly. He turned towards you with a dark look that softened a little as soon as he saw the soft gaze directed at him almost forgetting that you where in the arms of another.

He turned away refusing to let your eyes deter him and asked “what were you doing with Rodrygo baby” his calm tone that once offered you comfort now fills you with unease.

“Rodrygo is also my friend Jude i was congratulating him on the win” you tilt your head in confusion you didn’t see why you need to offer an explanation.

He lets out a sarcastic laugh that made a shiver run down your spine but that didn’t stop your frustration.

“ i don’t see why you have an issue with this you don’t-” he cuts you off.

“finish that sentence Y/N go on i dare you”

your mouth clamps shut in submission surprising the hell out of you. He exists the car and walks over to your side and opens it. Even his rage couldn’t stop him from taking care of you and it made your heart flutter in your chest.

He takes your hand taking you up to the hotel room where you were staying until you two return back home from Barcelona. He swipes the card key opening the door and pushes you onto the wall beside it.

“Jude ” you’re silenced by the hand the creeps up to your waist. You can feel the anger vibrate off of him and form into a state of desperation.

“i love it when you say my name baby it drives me fucking crazy, ” his voice filled with a need that mirrored your own.

“jude-” he groans which makes your body fill with warmth and shock.

“did his arms feel this good y/n” he questions as he rests his head in the crook of your neck, his breath ticking the special spot that made squirm.

“n-no” his hands go up his jersey that you were wearing and he rests them on your stomach. The heat of your body clashes with his cool skin leaving your mind hazy.

“you’re already gone, and i’ve barely touched you sweetheart” he chuckles in a way you found so attractive it made you freeze in his hold. This was wrong he was your friend.

“jude ”you whine and his grip on you tightens.

“hmm” he groans into your neck again heightening your arousal.

“friends don’t” you were to shy to carry on, to admit what’s happening between the two of you. However, Jude wanted to hear you say it. He needed to hear you say it.

“best friends don’t what ? i wanna hear you say it baby go on” he looked up at you but his gaze was too much to bare so you look away.

“b-best friends don’t touch each other like this” you stuttered. Deep down he knew you were right but his frustration was clouding his judgment.

Your chest moving with every breath, the slight tremble your body omits is enough for him to bend you over right now and have his way with you.

"okay then ill back away and we will pretend this didnt happen" his voice so soft it sounded like a whisper, he saw the disappointment quickly surround the lust in your eyes. Jude felt his shorts tighten around him begging for release.

"is that what you want y/n you want us to be just friends?" he taunts as he raises those hands further up your body. God those hands drove you crazy you never want him to let you go.

The undiscribable feelings you felt now made sense, you wanted everything he wanted to give you, forgetting and remaining in the comfort of friendship was the last thing you desire.

You desire him. The words you want to say were stuck in your throat, the ability to express them were always denied in his presence, so you look away only for him to turn your head so you can face him again.

" nah baby i want you looking straight at me" his grip on your chin is firm. His eyes overwhelmed with determination. "tell me" he says.

"i-i dont want that jude" he gives you a nod in encouragement telling you to go on, which makes you drip with arousal and confidence which leads you to utter;

"i want you jude" you take step closer even though it was impossible with how intertwined your bodies were.

" i need you jude" you whimper in his hold as he moans at the juxtaposing innocence and lust swimming in your eyes. He brings you into a long awaited kiss that conveying the burning desire and desperation, making you both dizzy.

Jude’s thoughts we’re preoccupied with one thing…

You needed him.

[cyberg4n]

✧ 𝐒𝐎𝐋𝐀𝐂𝐄

paring: earth1610 miles x gn!reader

warnings: hurt, discomfort, crying, angst maybe idk, not proofread

a/n: pretend like miles never got abducted by his evil twin💀 my little snookums has been through hell and back

summary: miles comes to you, seeking your warmth and comfort.

you get into bed, pulling the blankets over your legs. before you slide under your sheets, you open your phone up — tapping on miles’ messages.

miles, please call me or text me. i’m really worried. why aren’t you answering????

you rub your temples, slowly feeling yourself heat up thinking about what might have happened to him. the last time you heard from him was when he told you he would be going away for a bit — due to “spider-man duties.” you didn’t think much of it because he always went on patrol. but the moment he had left, you realized something was off. it was a gut feeling. you stopped by his parents house, wondering if they could give you answers. but they said they hadn’t heard a word from him since. you even chased down ganke to ask him about it, but like the others — he said he didn’t know. now, you’re sitting in your bed, panicking.

you called his phone again, silently begging for him to pick up. you lay your head back on your wall, sighing. you take one last glimpse of your texts before turning your phone off. you look out your window, watching as the night slowly passes by. you hug your legs up to your chest, resting your head on your knees. for a minute, you just think of every different possible outcome that could’ve happened to miles, if he was hurt, dead, or alive. you exhale, tucking yourself back under your covers — reaching over to switch your lamp off. you lay back down, looking up at the ceiling. you closed your eyes, forcing yourself to sleep, but you couldn’t. you groan in frustration as you grab your laptop, deciding it was a better idea to watch a movie instead.

after a few minutes, you feel yourself drifting off to the quiet chatter from your laptop. you blink, waking yourself back up again — but your eyelids were too heavy. before you can fall back asleep, a loud thud is heard outside your window. you sit up, listening to the noise. silence. you shake your head, thinking it’s the sleep that’s getting to you. you close your laptop, placing it to the side before pulling up your blanket to your body. you toss to your side, closing your eyes. you hear faint thumping come from outside, but you brush it off. you hear something hit your window, before someone climbs in. you turn quickly, looking down on the floor. miles. you gasp, hurriedly kneeling on the ground. miles lays on your floor, out of breathe, his suit slightly ripped.

you reach over to him, shaking him. “miles?” you whisper. he opens his eyes, almost sobbing as soon as he saw you. he grabs you by your wrist, pulling you into his chest. he hugs you tightly as if you’re going to leave him. he breathes you in, kissing your face. “i’m so sorry,” he cries out. you pull away, a worried expression on your face. he sits up, leaning against your bed. “i’m so sorry i left you,” he pulls you in for a hug again. you hold on his shoulder for support when you look at his face. he looked tired. horribly tired. you could see dark circles around his eyes, and his grasp on you felt almost weak. his hands stayed on your waist, just crying into your neck. “miles, miles, tell me what happened. where did you go this whole time?” your breathe shakes with every word you mutter. he shakes his head, putting his hand on his forehead.

“i thought they wanted me,” he mumbles, his lip quivers. “but they lied to me, all of them. they—” he stammers, crying into his hands. you frown, holding him. although you didn’t quite understand the situation he was trying to describe, you understood how he was feeling. he buries his face into your neck, letting all his emotions out. you sit there on the floor with him, listening to him ramble about how they didn’t want him, how they all just had tricked him. he explains to you that he was an anomaly, a mistake — but you defend him, trying to reassuring him that he’s not. “miles, you’re the greatest thing that has happened to me. whatever those fuckers said about you, just— just screw them, okay?” he looks up at you, his eyes glossy. he sniffles, biting back another sob. “i don’t know what to do.” you tilt your head, “what do you mean?” you look at him, pleading for an answer. “i wasn’t supposed to be bitten by that spider.”

you scoff, eyes wide. “what are you talking about?” miles grabs your hand, wrapping it around his. “i’m a nobody, y/n. i don’t know if i can keep doing this.” he rasps out. you shake your head lightly. “what are you talking about?” he looks down in his lap, all the color had drained from his face, he looked like a ghost. “i can’t keep being spiderman if i was a mistake.” you mutter out a soft “no,” before grabbing his face, wiping away his tears. “it doesn’t matter what they said. who the hell are they to be telling you that you can’t be spiderman?” he doesn’t respond. he just stares down at his hands. “brooklyn needs you, your parents need you. i need you.”

he sniffles, leaning back into your neck, closing his eyes — just enjoying your warmth. you cradle him, letting him doze off in your arms.

please do not copy or repost my writings to any other sites !

[pablitogavii]

Care

Summary: Before Pablo, you were in a toxic and abusive relationship so when you two play fight, you flinch and Pablo notices immediately reminding you that he would always take care of you <33

Pairing: Pablo Gavi x Reader

Warnings: slight angst/ fluffy <3

"Amor! Give me the remote!" Pablo was trying to grab the remote from your hand repeatedly to play some boring football game but you were watching your favorite Telenovela.

"Not a chance! I need to see if Juan Carlos marries Ana in this episode!" you say hiding it behind your back with your eyes glued to the screen.

"Bebé sometimes I think you love Juan Carlos more than me!" Pablo whined and you chuckled at how easily your Sevillano gets jealous, even of fictional characters.

"I do have a particular weakness for Spaniards.." you start earning a glare from your boyfriend "but I also tend to fall for angry Barça midfielders" you finished earning a smirk as he moved to sit closer.

"Lindaaa" he rubbed his nose against yours and you blushed closing your eyes waiting for the kiss but instead he grabbed the remote from your hand switching the channel.

"Pablo!!" you whine this time you trying to steal a remote from his hands while straddling his lap making smirk but still keep the remote out of your reach.

"Give it back Gavira!!" you said while he chuckled whenever you would use his full name when you get angry.

"Try and get it nena" Pablo challenged with a smirk and you pouted trying to think how to win against him knowing how much stronger he was that you. Then you came up with an idea! Tickle war! He might me toned and muscular but he is ticklish like a baby!

When you started tickling him he started to move around bringing his hand forwards to stop you but that movement made you flinch instinctively which made him stop completely shocked that you just did that.

"Amor? Hey, you okay? I was just going to grab your hand..I would never actually hurt you..why did you flinch?" Pablo felt horrible seeing your eyes fill with years. You weren't upset at him or what he did knowing that Pablo would never lay a finger at you like that, but hating the fact that after so many years it was still affecting you.

"Um..I should..I should go..I'm sorry" you got off his lap feeling horrible that you couldn't still get over what happened to you in the past not wanting to bother Pablo with it.

"No..no..no..por favor..don't leave...I can't handle you being afraid of me..I..would never hurt you.." Pablo stood up as well careful to keep his distance as to not make you flinch again and you appreciated it very much. Not many people knew how to properly handle you in these kinds of situations.

"I'm not afraid of you cariño..it was just..um..an instinct" you admitted playing with the edge of your shirt while looking down at the floor sadly. You didn't want Pablo to think you are damaged so you haven't told him anything in the past few months that you were dating.

"Can I..hold you amorcito? Please?" Pablo asked not wanting to invade your personal space until he knew that's what you wanted and you nodded smiling as his arms wrapped around your waist and he pulled you to sit back down on the couch in between his legs rested against his toned chest.

"Tell your Pablito linda..I need to know about this" Pablo said and you sighed nodding your head knowing that he was right.

"My ex hit me one time..and ever since then I flinch when someone's hand moves towards my face..I'm sorry" you say feeling even more guilty now that you said it aloud.

"You have nothing to be sorry for nena..How could someone do something like that to you? You are the sweetest most precious girl I have ever met in my life..I'm so sorry mi anjo" his hand was in your hair as he stroked it gently while your head rested on his chest and you were focused on his heartbeat while tears spilled out your eyelids and down your cheeks.

"He was very jealous..wouldn't let me go out with my friends..and that nigh I went behind his back and he got very angry..." you said and Pablo kissed the top of your head as you looked up shattering his heart when he saw your tearful eyes sparkling sadly up at him.

"Is that why you asked me if you could wear that dress when we went out with Frankie and Mikky?" Pablo said and you nodded feeling little embarrassed but the way he asked felt judgement free and you were comfortable to be honest with him.

"I want you to listen to me now princesa. In this relationship, you can wear whatever you like, you can go out with your friends, you don't have to feel like you have to ask me what you are allowed to do..I trust you..and I love you..and I know you love me..and I will make sure not to do things that might trigger you to flinch and bring back those horrible memories now that I know about it.." Pablo speaking softly while caressing your face made your tears fall faster from how comforting his words were and how safe you finally felt with a man.

"I love you so much Pablo..thank you" you nuzzled into his neck counting to softly cry while he kissed the top of your head lovingly moving his hand softly up and down your back soothingly.

"I love you too nena..you are my special girl..and I want you to feel safe when your are with me" Pablo spoke and you looked up pecking his lips softly to which he smiled.

"I do feel safe..and I should have told you earlier. I just didn't want you to think I was demanded.." you admit and he kissed your nose and then your forehead.

"We are all a little damaged nena, that's because we are human..but this doesn't make you any less perfect in my eyes I promise..if anything I think you are so brave" Pablo said drying your tears while you cuddled up to him closer smiling to yourself.

He changed the channel back to your Telenovela sitting there watching it with you for the rest of the night while holding and kissing you from time to time just to assure you that he is still right there next to you..<3

Short but very important story for me..hope you like it <3

[constantcrisis19]

Home

Simon "Ghost" Riley x GN S/O

AN: I don't normally write smut, but things do get a little heated in this particular fic, so... enjoy the treat I guess, lol. Though, that being said, I can't say that adding smut is going to be something that I’ll do often, but on the off-chance that it does, I'll be sure to tag properly just to make sure that I don't catch anyone off guard. Thanks!

Word Count: 1,544

Main Page

You had just started on wiping the dust off of the kitchen countertops when you heard the shrill squeak of the front door opening, intentionally left unoiled to act as an alert for uninvited visitors. You and Ghost had installed a proper security system of course, but it didn’t hurt to do things the old fashioned way either. 

The flat that the two of you stayed at while on leave was modest, rented mostly because there was a fire escape outside the living room window and another window had a good view of the entrance to the building.

So Ghost would often occupy himself by watching the door when he couldn’t manage to sleep, tormented by memories of things he wouldn’t speak of. But he didn’t keep pieces of his past from you out of distrust. 

He refrained because, by the time he’d finished telling you about how he’d been betrayed by his CO and was tortured for months as a result, you were in tears at the pain and suffering that the love of your life had endured, despite your best attempts to be strong and keep the tears at bay as you listened.

Though, it seemed that Ghost didn’t really mind that you were crying instead of being the solid support that he deserved and could lean on while recounting something so horrible, the man simply pulling you into his arms and sitting down right there on the floor while holding you close.

He never brought it up again and you were hesitant to ask if he wanted to talk about it since you had reacted so poorly to just one of the many horrors that he had survived, especially for a soldier that was chosen to be on the most elite task forces that the British military had to offer. 

In your defense, you had been on leave -in this very flat, actually- when that disaster of a conversation happened, miles away from work and allowed to be human for a few weeks. So you had made no attempt at suppressing the onslaught of emotions that had torn through you like a bullet, leaving a gaping mess of grief in its wake.

You were dragged out of your somber reminiscing when your ears picked up on the crinkle of weighted grocery bags as they were set onto the small kitchen table for two, followed by the nearly inaudible tap of Ghost’s worn black combat boots drawing closer to your turned back. 

You hadn’t even realized that you’d stopped cleaning -just blankly staring down at the damp rag being strangled in your grip- until one of Ghost’s hands tentatively settled on your back, his warm touch grounding.

“Solid, love?” He asked, his pleasantly raspy voice having dropped to a low timbre that was gentle and reassuring all at once.

“Yeah, sorry. Got lost in my head for a minute.” You sighed, leaning into the contact with a slow inhale, your attempt at controlled breathing rendered useless when your exhale turned into a soft huff of laughter as soon as you felt Ghost press his scarred lips to the back of your neck in a fleeting kiss that made your chest ache with affection.

You found yourself awfully tempted to turn around and kiss that reverent mouth until neither of you could think of anything beyond finding the bed but, before you got the chance to act on that particular desire, the hand that was on your back suddenly slid down to your hip and pulled you backward as he simultaneously stepped forward in order to crowd up behind you, his body a solid wall of muscle.

"You're a menace, Simon. I never get anything done when we're on leave because you try to get into my pants every five minutes." You laughed good-naturedly, your hands reaching behind you to grip the back of his thighs, just under his deliciously round ass.

“Don’t know what you’re on about. I’m just comforting you, you’re the one copping a feel.” Ghost retorted dryly, though there was a noticeable heat to his tone now, his short stubble scratching against your skin as he nuzzled the back of your neck.

“You don’t seriously expect me to believe that, do you? I can feel your dick begging for attention, Simon.” You deadpanned, your brow raising as you leveled an unimpressed look at the cabinets directly in front of you, knowing full well that Simon would know exactly what expression was on your face despite not being able to see it.

Lord knew that he had gotten that exact same look from you enough times to have it memorized. 

“Well don’t start neglecting it now.” Ghost grunted with a particularly dirty grind of his hips and you tightened the grip that you had around the back of his thigh, heat pooling in your gut as your lips parted on a silent gasp. 

You could feel Ghost smile against the sensitive skin behind your ear -the smug bastard- and just for his cheeky attitude, you decided to be petty and play hard to get. You allowed Simon to do as he wished for another minute or two before turning in Simon’s grip in order to face the man, who had immediately loosened his hold the moment that you began to move.

“Get off me, you slag. I have to finish cleaning the kitchen before we can cook.” You stated as you met his questioning gaze, the man staring at you blankly for a moment as he processed your words, his eyes darkening when he finally caught onto your scheme.

“Slag? Must be rubbing off on you.” Ghost said with a low chuckle that never failed to send a bolt of pleasure down your spine and, going by the amused twinkle in Simon’s eye, he knew exactly what his voice did to you and was shamelessly using it to his advantage. 

You resisted the urge to squirm under his calculating gaze, since that would mean losing this little game that the two of you were playing, as the man’s fingers teasingly brushed over the slip of skin visible where the hem of your shirt came untucked from your jeans.

“Not yet, you’re not.” You mused with a wicked grin as your hand darted down to catch his wrist before his fingers could slip up under your shirt. You traced the delicate blue lines crisscrossing under the thin, pale skin of his inner wrist with your thumb, your smile reaching shit-eating levels when Simon’s breathing visibly became more labored, his pupils blown wide as he stared at you like you were the sole object of his desire.

“Fuckin’ hell.” Ghost murmured breathlessly, the fingers of his free hand twitching like he wanted to grab you and pin you up against the nearest flat surface, and you didn’t bother repressing the smug grin that spread across your lips as you watched every individual thought that went through his head, every sinful things that he wanted to do to you clearly advertised on his maskless face. 

Simon really wasn’t as hard to read as he wanted people to believe, he was actually quite easy once the mask was off. So while Simon greatly enjoyed when you were rough with him, easily following your lead as you manhandled the man where you wanted him with a firm grip, more tender and reverent contact always had more of an effect on him.

“You love it, you insatiable bastard.” You said with a laugh, Simon leaning forward in order to rest his forehead against yours and you didn’t hesitate to curl an encouraging hand around the back of his neck, letting him have a moment to collect himself since you felt pretty bad for teasing him when you weren’t able to follow through right away.

“Yeah.” Simon admitted quietly, his tone openly affectionate as he tilted his head in order to draw you into a kiss. Words were no longer necessary since the press of his lips told you everything you already knew, the heat that had been bubbling up between the two of you easing as the intense bout of lust that came from your mutual flirting transitioned into something softer, slower.

You were the first to break the kiss when the lack of oxygen made your lungs burn, though you didn’t go far, choosing to instead linger in his personal space. Your nose brushed against his as you basked in the euphoria that came with being with Simon, each of your breaths mingling with his in the small space between the two of you, creating a sort of peaceful bubble where only the two of you existed.

“Didn’t you have some pressing matter to attend to?” Simon’s voice pierced through the quiet and you startled, flinching a bit as you sobered from the trance you had been in, before the words registered and you leaned away in order to scowl at your grinning husband.

“Very funny, Simon.” You said with a fond roll of your eyes, giving his solid chest a friendly pat before finally prying yourself out of his grasp, turning on your heel and making your way back to the kitchen in order to finish what you’d been doing before you got distracted.

_

Home

A place where I can go

To take this off my shoulders

Someone take me home

Home - Bebe Rexha, Machine Gun Kelly, and X Ambassadors

[onceuponastory]

i've got you - bucky barnes x reader

Plot: Bucky has another nightmare. Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Female!Reader Warnings: Mentions of nightmares, Bucky's past trauma and how he blames and hates himself for what he did, basically everything that he did as The Winter Soldier and had done to him by HYDRA is a warning in this, but specifically the mind wiping, murder/death and shooting. As always, if I miss any triggers, please let me know. Notes: This is my piece for @flufftober Day 1: "I've Got You." I saw this quote and just knew it fit Bucky x Reader so well. Not beta'd, so any mistakes are my own.

Late one night, Y/N and Bucky are fast asleep in their Brooklyn apartment. Everything is still and quiet. Until Bucky starts to murmur in his sleep, tossing and turning as he starts to dream. Memories from the last seventy decades flash through his mind. The train, being found by HYDRA, his arm being replaced…. “No.” He whispers. “Stop.” But the memories continue. And now, he's seeing his time as the Winter Soldier. This time, Bucky is powerless. He can only watch on, unable to intervene.

The Winter Soldier’s standing in front of someone, another faceless victim, watching as they beg for their life. He's lost count of the lives he destroyed and the people he killed. This is just one of many. Ever since he escaped HYDRA’s control, Bucky’s been trying hard to make amends and forget what happened to him. 

But unfortunately for him, his mind has other ideas.

“Please, don’t hurt me.” The person begs. But the soldier doesn’t listen, and raises his gun. “No! Please!” Their voice is more panicked now, begging and screaming for him to stop. Bucky can feel himself reaching out, as if he’s trying to stop himself from making the same mistakes he did. Yet no matter how hard he tries, Bucky can’t stop himself… and the Winter Soldier pulls the trigger. 

Bucky gasps, jolting awake. The room is silent… aside from the pounding in his chest. He grips the bedsheet for dear life, so tightly his knuckles turn white. Sweat drips from his forehead, and a few strands of his hair cling to it. He’s a monster, regardless of how much he tries to change. That’s what his dream was trying to tell him. He still hears the screams of the innocent people he killed. Even now, when he’s awake. And he can see the face of Alexander Pierce, looming down at him before he gets wiped again. Bucky’s body tenses, and he shuts his eyes tightly, trying to block everything out.

He’s ready to deal with this alone. Like he always does. Like he was trained to do. In a way, it’s for his own self protection. This way, nobody else can see how fucked up he is.

But then, there’s a different voice speaking into the darkness. 

“Bucky?” Y/N moans, rubbing her eyes as she wakes up. The sudden sound of her voice almost makes Bucky jump. “What’s going on?” She moves her hand over to Bucky’s side of the bed, feeling nothing but empty space. When she sees him sitting there, gripping the sheet, her eyes widen with concern, and her voice softens as she realises what’s happened. “Oh.” She scoots over to him, gently wrapping her arm across his trembling body and pulling him closer to her. “It’s okay. I’ve got you, I’m here. It was just a nightmare.” She soothes, her voice full of comfort and compassion.

The first night Bucky woke up screaming, haunted by memories of his past, his body aching with the decades of pain and torture HYDRA inflicted on him, Y/N was shocked. But more than anything, Y/N felt horrible for Bucky - that someone had put him through something so traumatic and that he was so haunted by it. But it also made a horrible pit of guilt form deep inside her. No matter how hard she tries, she can’t take all this pain away from him, or even reverse the clock and stop everything that HYDRA did to him. Being unable to stop his pain is the worst feeling in the world. So instead, she does the next best thing. She makes sure that Bucky knows she’s there for him whenever he needs her. Even if he’s on a mission and in a completely different time zone and needs to call her, she’ll always pick up no matter what. Her love for Bucky is unwavering, and she’ll always be there for him.

Especially tonight. “It was… it was….” Bucky speaks, close to hyperventilating. “Shh…shh…. It’s okay.” Y/N tells him reassuringly, tenderly kissing his temple. “You don’t have to tell me anything.” Bucky grabs her hand, squeezing onto it for dear life. Like she’s his rock, stopping him from being swept out into sea. In a way, she is. Or at least, she's the one stopping him from falling deeper into a pit of despair and self loathing. “Just take deep breaths with me, okay Bucky? In and out, match my breathing.” Bucky does as she says, keeping a tight grasp on her hand as he does. 

And soon, he slowly starts to feel a little better. “You should go back to sleep. I’m sorry.” He murmurs. “I woke you up again.” Y/N shakes her head, kissing his temple once more.

“You have nothing to be sorry for.” She tells him. “I told you, I’m here for you. I’ve got you.”

“I don’t deserve you.” He whispers, and her heart breaks right there. Of course, she could never truly know what it’s like to go through something like Bucky did, and how much guilt and pain he must be feeling right now. “I deserve to go through this alone. I’m a monster.” His voice cracks.

But Y/N just wants him to stop punishing himself for things that weren’t his fault, and understand that he’s a victim too. “No you’re not a monster. You never were. It’s not your fault.” She whispers. “You’re a good person, Bucky.” Another kiss, this time to his cheek. “You never have to be alone again. I’m right here.”

“Thank you for sticking by me. For making me feel like more than I am.” He manages a small smile at that, a welcome relief to Y/N. “I love you… so damn much.”

“Of course I would. I’ll always be here for you, Bucky.” She smiles. “I love you too.”

They sit together for a while, with Bucky still in Y/N’s comforting embrace. He feels so safe and happy when he’s around her, and he’s so grateful that the universe sent her to him. She’s his one good thing after everything that happened to him, and all the pain he’s caused. He glances over at her, watching as she rubs his back.

Maybe she’s right. Maybe he doesn’t have to do this alone anymore. He leans over, cupping her cheeks and kissing her softly. Bucky knows he has a long way to go with his healing, but Y/N’s support motivates him to be better, to be the man she deserves. With a smile, she gives his hand another squeeze. “We’re in this together.” She whispers.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

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[vivwritescrappythings]

Twenty-Five

eddie munson x gn!reader

A self indulgent fic for my birthday today. I always cry on my birthday, no matter what, and this was inspired by my own boyfriend who is so lovely and sweet and Eddie reminds me of him all the time. But, nevertheless, treated this one like a diary entry more than a fic.

or

You always cry on your birthday, and this is the year Eddie finds out.

tw: crying, talks about death, panic attacks, angst, hurt/comfort, gender neutral reader but also heavily girl coded bc this is a self indulgent fic about my own life and I identify as a girl, not proofread

Word count: 2.8k

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There’s something horrible about the way that time just keeps going no matter what. No stops, no returns. There’s no warning that something just happened for the last time, no flashing signs that say: Stop! You’ll never get to experience this again so savor it!

Everything just moves on and moves on and moves on.

Your thoughts are cyclical in nature, it takes you give or take 365 days to get to the same spot: crumpled somewhere private, crying. When you were young it used to be your parents’ walk-in closet, you would curl where your mother’s skirts met your father’s jeans and sob until you could hardly breathe. In your teen years the big meltdown would take place in your car, the beat up SUV felt like your own box of privacy to cry into the palms of your hands after school. You had to hide under the cover of your comforter in your dorm room, praying you were silent enough that your roommate didn’t notice.

This year is the same as any other, you feel like an anvil has been placed on your chest the second you open your eyes. Sunlight diffuses through the sheer lilac curtains over your bedroom window, tinging the morning with an eerie, dreamlike quality. Normally you find the color to be pleasant, mystical rather than gloomy.

Eddie is still asleep next to you, your gaze pulled to the gentle peace that has settled on his face. He’s never still and calm like this, you like to take your opportunities to absorb him in this state when possible. You resist the urge to press a kiss to his pink lips, deciding to let him catch these last few hours of sleep that you yourself have been deprived of.

He’s always been better at sleeping than you, the beginning few hours of most mornings spent on your own reading or watching some show in the other room. It doesn’t matter if you’re at his trailer or your apartment, you always wake up when the first dregs of sunlight hit your eyelids.

You pull yourself from bed with a soft groan, stretching and blinking in an attempt to ground yourself. Of course, it isn’t sufficient, the dizzy feeling of dread curling around your shoulders like a blanket as you emerge from your room into the modest kitchen of your single-room apartment. The bedroom door closes with a soft click behind you, just enough to shield Eddie and let him rest.

There are still a million tasks that you need to accomplish today. You’d made progress yesterday evening, dusting and scrubbing and rearranging every corner of your apartment in an attempt to make it look like no one had ever lived there. It was mostly accomplished, dishes still in the sink and pillows on the couch rumpled where you had been watching television.

While the coffee brews you set on your first task of the day, pulling the mixer out of a cupboard along with a large bowl you’d gotten from the thrift store. Baking while Eddie is asleep will be easier, his fingers no longer poking into the bowl for a taste or his puppy-dog eyes set on you like a weapon in an attempt to convince you to let him lick the spoon. The bowl you used to mix the cake batter yesterday sat in the sink, licked so clean that if you didn’t know any better you would have put it away.

It’s a miracle he didn’t make himself sick.

You put a record on to fill the emptiness, trying to keep your mind busy with tasks and noise so you don’t have a moment to sit down and think too much. By the time you flip to the B side, the red velvet cake you made was decorated in a thick layer of cream cheese frosting. You haphazardly press sprinkles onto its surface as decoration, not trusting your ability to pipe lettering on it.

It’s decent enough, you remind yourself to set your perfectionism aside as you return it to the cake stand in the corner of the kitchen and set about fussing with the rest of your apartment.

It’s easy enough to distract yourself while you have things to do. You don’t rest, jumping from one thing to the next in a journey that leads you from washing the dishes in the sink to straightening up the couch cushions to folding every blanket strewn across your living room.

But you can only keep going so long.

Eventually you run out of tasks, or out of steam. You’re not sure which hit first as you allowed yourself to fall onto the couch with a huff. The dread comes rushing back all at once, nearly paralyzing you as you gather up one of the meticulously folded blankets and cover yourself with it.

No matter what, no matter how many birthdays come and go, you always feel the same devastation of the years going by. With a start you realize that this is your first birthday that you no longer consider your parent’s house your home. It startles you, making you think back in an attempt to identify when the last time you referred to it as your home was.

What are they doing now? Surely they are awake by now, but they haven’t called. Probably giving you privacy, not wanting to wake you up in case you had a wild night to kick off your birthday weekend. It was rare, but it could have happened.

You should call them, but the thought of even talking to your mom right now is making your throat close. It’s all too much, everything is going too fast. You still remember your fourth birthday party, the one with the fairies and the cheap wings made of coathangers and your mother’s old stockings that all the little kids decorated. It gets you thinking about how you used to make crowns with her out of construction paper, emblazoned with crayon butterflies.

A sob wrenches from you before you even realize you are crying, it’s a horrible strangled sound that you hardly recognize as your own. Tears blur your vision as you check the bedroom door, praying that Eddie hadn’t heard.

After a few moments without movement, you let the tears fall and the misery engulf you.

It’s confusingly irrational and rational at the same time, the contradiction eating you up inside as you consider having an annual crisis over the inevitable death of your parents while still actively having the crisis. Your hysterics feel ridiculous, you’re twenty-five now, your frontal cortex is fully developed and you should be able to move on with the idea that someday they will be gone.

Gone.

Jesus. You wonder if every child feels this way or if you are the only one. The soft cushions of the couch welcome you as you slouch onto them, shoulders shaking as your face wedges into the corner of the sofa. Once the floodgates are open you can’t stop them, thinking about how there will eventually be a day that it's the last time you speak with them and you’ll never know it until it already happens.

You helplessly remind yourself that you always tell them you love them before you hang up phone calls, before you leave their home after weekend get-togethers and holidays and family dinners. But will you regret not spending more time with them? Will you look back someday and wish that you had spent more of your fleeting moments with people that were all too temporary despite the fact that they meant everything to you?

Do people with siblings feel like this? The solitude that comes with the idea of the death of a parent? You don’t know, doomed to be an only child and always carrying the burden of it on your shoulders and your shoulders alone.

You don’t know how long this meltdown lasts, crying and crying and crying about grief that is yet to happen, regrets you don’t even know you will have. No matter how hard you try to be rational and firmly rooted in the present, you find yourself mourning people who are still alive every year on the day that should be a celebration.

A gentle hand on your spine startles you from the spiral of your thoughts, shame and grief and guilt fraying your nerves as you choke on a sob. You stiffen like you are electrocuted, your shoulders curling in as you compress closer to the back of the couch.

“Baby, what’s wrong?” Eddie’s voice is still groggy from sleep, raspy and soft in all your favorite ways.

You can only imagine his confusion, he probably woke up expecting you to be reading a book or finishing up your birthday cake instead of burrowing into your couch in a fit of tears.

Eddie has never been around for the quiet parts of your birthday, the moments where you hide yourself away and wallow. You’ve been friends for ten years now, dating for two of them, but you’ve still managed to keep this secret in the hollow of your heart and bear your misery alone.

“It’s okay,” you exhale, the simple words a staccato as you try to catch your breath. Your face is soaked with tears, you keep it mashed against the couch as you try to stuff everything you’re feeling back into the neat little box it sprung from.

He lets out a soft breath, his fingertips start to move up and down from the base of your skull to where your ratty and holey pajama bottoms hug your hips. “If it’s okay then what are you doing out here crying?”

You know the second you face him the temporary dam you have managed to build will come crashing loose. Eddie nevertheless manages to squeeze his long fingers into the space between your shoulder and the fabric of the couch, slowly turning you on your back to face him.

He looks so sweet, his hair gathered in a loose bun at the nape of his neck and his brown eyes round with concern as he looks down at you. Instead of sitting on the couch he’s kneeling next to it, his face closer to yours than you anticipated. You’re sure you look like a disaster, skin red and splotchy and eyes bloodshot. No matter how many times you rub the back of your hand across it you can’t stop your nose from running like a faucet and your lips are so swollen.

Eddie cups your cheek with a calloused hand, rubbing your tears away with his thumb as his brows furrow. “C’mon, baby, talk to me.”

The plea is so genuine that you immediately whine despite your attempts to steel yourself against your emotions. You burst into an additional round of tears, crying so hard that you are nearly choking. Despite your attempt to explain, your words are unintelligible, distorted by your sobs.

Eddie’s arms curl around you, warm even through the thin fabric of your sleep shirt. With no help on your part, he manages to pry you off the couch and into his lap, cradling you against the seat of the couch. As always, he just knows what to do.

He coaxes your head to find the curve of his neck, his fingers caressing the back of your skull as he remains silent. Rather than try to understand what’s going on right now, he just lets you cry it out.

Your tears soak into the back fabric of his cut off Metallica shirt, your arms winding around his torso as you cling to him. Eddie is so solid, he always has been when it comes to you. After knowing one another for a decade, he knows how to handle your storms, how to bring them down to a manageable size and get the gray clouds to go away.

Eventually the sobs slow, you take greedy pulls of air as your fingers twist in the fraying bottom edge of the shirt Eddie is wearing. He claimed there was something he found overstimulating about where the hem originally landed on his lanky frame, cutting it so slivers of his pale stomach were visible any time he moved. Your fingers pressed along the line of skin just above where the elastic of his boxers hung low.

“Do you, uh, just ever think about how everyone is gonna die?” In retrospect, you’re not sure if that’s how you’d phrase the question. It comes out mumbled and wet-sounding against his shoulder, your eyes squeezed shut as you attempt to explain.

He hums his acknowledgment, leaving you empty space to fill. It’s the telltale way he pulls things from you, knowing that if he doesn’t say anything you will babble to fill that silence.

“It’s stupid.” You squish yourself closer, briefly wishing that you could just sit inside his skin. “I just, uh, always think about how, like, when I get older on my birthday that everyone else gets older too?” The way you say it makes it sound like a question rather than a statement.

Again, just a sound of acknowledgement.

“It just is so shitty that everything goes so fast and my parents are getting older and someday I won’t have them and even though I’m older now I don’t even know anything and I have no idea how to do anything without them,” you babble, your gasping breaths interrupting the stream of consciousness spilling from you.

Now that you’ve started you can’t stop. “It’s like my birthday is a marker for how much time is changing and it feels so fast and I’m not ready to be by myself and get even older.” A few tears squeeze out of your eyes, your fingertips pressing into his torso.

“Why am I like this?” you whisper, the question defeated and soft.

“Because you are the most caring person I know, baby,” he murmurs in response, his arms winding around you completely as his hands rub up and down your arms. His cheek squishes into the crown of your head, his warm breath against your scalp. “But nothing is happening yet, and I know the way your brain works makes it feel so real to you even though it’s not real. It will be someday, but you can’t think about it like this right now.”

You nod slowly, trying to take deep breaths. The years of anxiety and guilt and paralyzing fear seem to melt away under his reassurance. “Never talked about this with anyone before,” you mumble into him, feeling deflated.

“You don’t have to do everything by yourself, baby,” Eddie says, pressing a quick kiss to the crown of your head. The two of you are in a tangle of limbs on the floor of your living room, holding each other close.

You nod against him, the simmering pot of emotions finally slowing down. “I love you,” you say, your words sounding thick and wet and so small.

“I love you too.” The way Eddie says it, you can hear his smile.

You don’t know why you keep this all to yourself, why you let everything bottle up and the emotions consume you. But you’re so thankful that it’s Eddie you have to talk to.

You finally lift your head, lip wobbling as you look up at him with wet eyes. His pink mouth is twisted into a smile, a kiss stamped against your forehead. “There you are,” he murmurs, a tinge of excitement in his tone like he just won a game of hide and seek. A hand comes up to wipe away the tears slicked across your cheeks, his calloused fingertips rough against your skin.

“Happy birthday, baby,” Eddie says, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead. The cliff you were teetering on feels so far away now, your ribs no longer cracking apart under the weight of your guilt.

“Thank you,” you whisper, a sheepish smile settling on your face as you tilt your head up toward his. Eddie presses his lips to yours without hesitation, a hand caressing your jaw as he kisses you with such a fervor that you don’t think you can ever deny the fact that this boy loves you.

His brown eyes are soft as you pull apart, flicking over your face before settling on your gaze. “Now, how about we get dressed and go get some birthday waffles from the diner,” Eddie suggests, nudging your cheek with his nose. “Your mom told me she always makes you waffles for your birthday, but with my luck I’d probably burn your kitchen down.”

You laugh, Eddie’s expression coloring with pride as the sound rattles from you. “Yeah, okay, let’s go,” you murmur, nodding as you start to stand.

Eddie joins you, looping an arm around your shoulders and tugging you to the bedroom of your apartment. He keeps pressing kisses to your forehead, whispering little quips to you that keep earning peals of laughter.

He’d bend over backwards or lasso the sun just to make you smile, and you realize that Eddie is your favorite present this year.

[emerald-chaos]

hehehehe hey y’all it’s me again.

Remener how nothing bad at all happened on this season of jjk and we got to watch Nanami go to Malaysia with absolutely nothing else occurring? me too. What a fantastic season. :-)

In the process of mourning, grieving, sobbing, coming to terms with the fact that the season was over—I spotted this piece of absolute gold on Twitter and it gave me a little bity idea. Thus, this fic was born! I hope you enjoy loving on Kento as much as i do <3.

pairing: Nanami Kento x gn!reader (no descriptors mentioned)

warnings: none :-) just a fluffy little self-indulgent piece (to stave off the horrors)

divider by by @/cafekitsune

not beta’d, we die like men

After finally finishing some work that you’d been putting off until the last minute (one of Nanami’s lesser enjoyed traits of yours), you stood up from the chair and stretched your body out. A few pops here and there as well as a soft groan tumbling from your lips as your sore muscles cursed you for the horrible posture you’ve never bothered to fix.

“Sweetheart, how on earth do you sit like that?”

“I’ll have you know this is my body’s natural position.”

“To curl around yourself like a shrimp?”

Nanami’s teases dance through your head as you smile to yourself, turning off the lamp at your desk and retreating from the room—making sure to close the door behind you so none of your pets made their way inside.

Tired feet carry you toward your bedroom, a yawn rippling through your body—one strong enough to cause a tear to well up in your eye. A hand, balled into a fist, reaches up and catches it before it threatens to drop down your cheek. Stealing a glance at the clock in the hallway, you couldn’t help but grin to yourself.

Barely half past midnight.

You couldn’t wait to gloat in Kento’s face about how quickly you’d finished all that work. His nagging words entering your head again—something, something, “you’ll be in here all night trying to finish what you could’ve done throughout the week”.

Never underestimate the power of a stressed individual who’s put off every single task until the last possible minute.

Your fingers curl around the doorknob, preparing the must smug face you can muster as you turn it and push the door inward. Stepping in to the room, you open your mouth to begin your taunts but as your eyes fall on your bed you find yourself rendered silent.

There, sat up against the headboard with the covers over his lap, was your sweet husband—fast asleep. The book he’d been reading seems to have slipped forward out of his hands onto his lap, page still open to where he’d presumably left off as his thumb barely pressed the pages apart.

The sight made you want to rip out your heart (in a good way).

Taking careful steps forward, you investigated the scene before you a little more. Kento’s head was leaned back, slightly tilted to the side as his glasses rested upon his nose. There was a soft rise and fall to his chest, lips parted as he exhaled air through them. At his feet on top of the blanket was the cat he said he didn’t want, curled into a perfect little ball—snoozing just like their father.

As your eyes wandered over to your side of the bed, you felt your heart clench in your chest once again. On your nightstand was your water bottle and the sheets had been pulled back for you, as though he was doing his best to stay awake until you came back to bed.

Turning back to him, you gently slipped your phone from your back pocket and snapped a few photos of the too perfect for words sight in front of you. Smiling, you tossed your phone on your side of the bed and gently removed the book from Kento’s hand—ensuring to capture the page he was on with the bookmark on his nightstand. It was obvious how exhausted he was, given that he didn’t move an inch as you did so.

Gently pulling the glasses off of his face, you placed them on top of the book you’d just retrieved. Smiling at the soft sigh Kento let out in his sleep, you brushed a few stray strands of blonde hair away from his eyes before getting your own self ready to climb in bed.

Finishing your routine, you’d plugged your phone in and sighed your own soft noise as you slipped into the comfort of your sheets. Triple checking you’d set your alarm one last time, turned off your bedside lamp, and you turned to the sleeping man beside you with a smile. You leaned in gently, pressing a few kisses to his cheek and jaw before snuggling down and draping yourself over his chest. The smile on your face only grew as you listened to the soft thump of his heartbeat in your ear.

Within seconds, that familiar heaviness of sleep found itself in your eyes as you began to drift off to sleep.

You supposed gloating could wait until the morning—moments like these with Nanami were already so few and far between.

[sparrowrye]

Demi Demon || Alastor x Reader, A2 part 4

Synopsis: It’s been over a year since we were brought under Alastor’s watchful eye. We’ve unlocked our Demonic powers, discovered our own talents, and began building the Safe Haven with Charlie and co. Alastor seems increasingly interested in the power we hold as one and intends to use it properly.

Previous part

Part 4: forever tied

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Whispers filled my ears. They turned into moans, morphed into wails, and pierced my eardrums with screams. The terrified faces circled me and their cloudy claws passed through my body. I couldn't breathe and my entire body was frozen in place. I couldn't move.

Striker's yellow eyes popped open. His smile emerged and glinted in the light. He wrapped his claws around my throat and a horrible collection of wails escaped his open jaws as they came down on my face.

I shot up with a yell. I clutched my chest as my eyes scanned the dim room. Everything was so still that I could see the dust drifting to the floor. There was nothing and no one here. My heart was still pounding in my ears as I stretched out my magic sense. Alastor was already downstairs but it had felt like he had been in my room only moments ago.

I let out a sigh and fell back into my bed. I had been having a ski load nightmare every now and then. It was making me concerned that I was having repeated dreams now.

I stretched in an effort to release the adrenaline. That's when I noticed a plate on the bedside table with three small cubes of meat. My mouth immediately started to water but I hesitated. He had been in my room. Why did he leave them, though? What was in them? Another mind drug of some kind? Something else?

I couldn't resist though and, sitting up, I ate one of the cubes and got myself ready for the day. When nothing happened, aside from the satisfying feeling of my cravings disappearing, I ate the other two. I found Husker in the kitchen and asked about the plate. He shrugged and also found it odd that Alastor had left them for me.

It took only two days for me to realize Alastor was putting distance between us. Training sessions stopped and he wouldn't try to touch me. It actually became rare for us to be in the same room. Had I worn him out? Was something about to happen? Was he keeping his distance to see if I would chase after him for that rush of energy when we touched?

Regardless of his reasons, I was happy to have a break from him. My chest felt lighter and I found myself spending more and more time in the Safe Haven. I would help where I could but most of the time I just watched everything and everyone. Vivian, our teacher, had a schedule for the children that allowed them time inside learning and outside playing. When we spoke, she had mentioned how surprised she was that she needed to teach them social skills and basic things about our world. I reminded her that most of them could only remember being trapped in cages and only allowed out when they had to fight. Manners weren't a thing.

Fights were still a common thing among the young children. The teenagers were able to ignore that instinct, for the most part, but the younger ones were not used to settling their problems with words rather than fists. When I first began watching the lessons, I thought Vivian would need help stopping these fights. Though it took only seconds for her to pull them apart and sit them back in their seats. She was a kind, quiet woman but she didn't play around when it came to these petty fights. As good as I was at stopping the older folks fight, she was fantastic at preventing most of them before they happened.

Althea was much like me in the observing and watching aspect. She sat on the steps to her hut and watched the construction. We had been fortunate enough that most injuries were minor but every now and then someone would get sick and a few others would follow. She was able to keep the sickness from spreading and made them feel better by the next day. I noticed her hair was turning a bright green at her roots, telling me that she had a different hair color hiding underneath the black dye.

The Safe Haven was now called the Hazbin Haven, serving as a tribute and show of respect for Charlie's hotel. The princess was all over the place, seemingly never still or resting. I caught Vaggie having to forcefully pull her away from a project to make her sleep.

Alastor brought the journalist, Spencer, to the haven to take a picture of what had been built already. The man kept himself as small as possible as he walked beside Alastor. It wasn't until a few minutes after they had been talking that Spencer seemed to stand taller and had a genuine smile on his face. What were they talking about?

It wasn't until Spencer started taking pictures with an old camera that I finally figured out why Alastor was talking to him so much. They had a common interest - old technology. Alastor brought him back to his old print shop once he had finished. From how long he was taking, I could guess he was making sure everything in the article was perfect.

As the days went on, I found myself spending more and more time with Althea and Vivian. I ate dinner with everyone in the grand hall but usually sat with the two women instead of Charlie's group. Husker made it a point to have breakfast with me every morning after my comment awhile back. It felt good to spend time with just him again.

A meeting with Charlie revealed that we had far more humans than Demons at the haven. She failed at recruiting more of the overpopulated Demons from Hell. No one wanted anything to do with the Radio Demon. It didn't make sense, though, considering that they were more likely to be murdered if they didn't belong to the haven that the princess of Hell was running.

So Charlie started paying close attention to social media and the news. She would listen for the scheduled executions for Demons and ask me to go with her to save them. These publicized executions had disappeared on this side of the continent but was still a wide practice elsewhere.

I should've known our luck would run out soon.

Charlie teleported us just outside a city. We scouted the buildings to find where the Demons were being held until their execution. It was well past midnight and very dark with a new moon. They were scheduled to die in four hours.

I waited on the roof with Charlie as Vaggie and a few others went into the jailhouse. My senses were on high alert and something in the air felt off. For a big city, it was awfully quiet. Usually cities this big had officers walking through the streets.

"Something's wrong," I said to Charlie. I stretched out my magic sense to Husker and the others but they seemed fine. They were still moving around and no fear was emitting from anyone.

Husker opened the door and a collection of officers had the entrance circled in an instant. Their guns cocked and the tips pointed right at his chest. Half the group was already outside but not a single gun went off yet.

I wasn't going to let it. I ran across the roof and glided into the center of the circle. I casted a huge gust of wind right as I landed, throwing everyone off their feet. I whipped my wings up and back so the dust dispersed faster. I looked and felt bigger, my shadow covering the bewildered faces. I noticed a few of them escaped down the closest street.

"Fire!" the captain yelled. I curled my claws inward and the tips of their rifles bent upwards. Some of them backfired painfully. The group began to disperse as the captain screamed and ordered them to stand their ground.

I slowly paced towards the captain. He dropped his rifle and pulled a smaller one from his hip. I casted it out of his grip with a flick of my fingers. I needed only to take a few more steps before he ran down a street after his men.

I noticed onlookers from the surrounding buildings. Many of them had their phones out recording me. I really hoped this wouldn't do more damage than good.

When I turned on my heels to face the group, I noticed a look of awe on some of their faces. There was a mix of various horns, tails, feathers, fur, and more. I stayed in my Demon form as I approached the group. Husker and I touched claws before he took the lead down the street. I brought up the rear, helping an injured mother carrying a newborn baby. Was this city really going to kill a baby?

Charlie was ecstatic about having more Demons around. Althea had her hands full healing pressing injuries from when they had been forcefully taken and imprisoned.

I kept my distance and watched from afar, content on the flat roof of one of the new buildings. Some of the current residents had woken up from the commotion and came out to see what was happening. Many of the current Demons came to meet the newcomers, happy to have more people like themselves.

My ear twitched at the sound of Alastor's shadow work. I remained in my sitting position and listened to the tap of his boots and cane. His presence was around my shields but not up against it like usual.

"Something on your mind?" His radio filter buzzed in my ear.

"Just thinking." I pulled one leg up to rest my chin on it.

"About?"

I was silent for a moment. "We're trying to help people but it's our fault for them needing it in the first place."

"What do you mean?" I heard him shift his feet to look at me completely.

"If we hadn't made a broadcast about Demon-kind, they might still be okay to live their life without fear."

"They would have to hide their true nature their entire life. What life is that to live?"

"Better than being hunted by everyone and forced to live somewhere else." I scratched at a spot near my foot.

"You ought to spend more time with Charlie," he said, "She talks endlessly about how happy some folks are. You seem to always be involved in the disputes."

I stretched my hearing to listen to the conversations. The mother I had been helping was thanking Charlie repeatedly. The others were talking to current residents about believing they would never see the light of day again. They were actually happy?

"You seem to be distant lately," I ventured, changing the subject. I kept my eyes focused on the group instead of his sharp smile.

"Does that bother you?" He cocked his head to the side.

"It's out of character for you. Is there a reason?"

"Not in particular." He rubbed his claws together. "Rosie has been asking of you. She wants to see you again."

"That would be nice." I heard little whispers and tilted my head to look up at him.

"Hm?" He caught my quick turn.

"Nothing. Thought I heard something." I continued to watch the group from afar. It took me a minute before I realized Alastor was in my head again. I hadn't felt him push through my shields. He was just a cool presence almost blending with mine.

Surprising myself, I let my own presence become more mailable and smaller, allowing him to cover entirely and meld with me. I followed his magic trail and wound my way into his own mindscape. Well, it wasn't his mindscape—more like his memories.

I could see him and Spencer bent over the first article. Then I could see him watching me and Husker from the upstairs window. It faded to him and Rosie talking in her store. I could hear this conversation plain as day, as if he was also visiting it and letting it play out.

I felt my heart drop in my stomach. He did have a reason for keeping his distance. He had started his plan to 'treat me nicely' so I would actually care about him. It jumped to previous conversations with Rosie and if my mouth was working, it was hanging open.

He was trying to strengthen our connection so he could test out its abilities and limits. He didn't actually want to have a connection, he just wanted me to be at his level enough to make it strong. It was all a trick, all manipulation. I wasn't hurt or surprised. I knew he was a manipulative freak but it made me angry.

My distaste wobbled the connection. I was harshly thrown back to my own mind and the back of my head hit the edge of the roof.

"Don't ever do that again!" he snapped. He was bent forward and his knees locked. His antlers had stretched out as his eyes darkened to the red dials.

As he stood up I shoved him back with my legs. He stumbled and his tentacles came up to pin my legs to the roof. He dusted off his chest where I had pushed him and stalked towards me.

"You won't succeed!" I yelled, making him pause. "I'll make sure you never taste the feeling of our power. I'm not a tool to be used."

"You are a headache," he hissed, curling a red claw near my face.

"I'm not the one manipulating someone for my own benefit."

"If you actually worked with me this would be easier for both of us."

I sliced my claws through his tentacles and they faded into shadows. We both stood up simultaneously. "Have you forgotten how you started this? How you kidnapped me, how you treated me, how you drugged me." I was expecting him to take a step back as I advanced but he didn't. I let myself grow slightly bigger so I was almost at his eye level. "You invade my personal space and my mind. Why would I want to work with you?"

His smile didn't fade, his eyes narrowing and his presence wrapping around me. This one felt hot and heavy, dangerously claustrophobic. He said, "I have been incredibly patient and kind with you." I scoffed, taking a step back to put distance again. "I could have you back in a cage in a dark basement. No one would ever know where you were and no one would ever come looking. You'd be trapped down there for eternity. Yet I have not done that. I have provided you with a bed, clothes, food, and recently an incredible amount of freedom. If our fates were not tied, you would not be alive."

"But we are." I used my Human form and slowly stepped toward him. "Our souls are forever tied. We may even be powerful together, but unless you can treat me with even just the basic amount of respect, nothing will come of it." My legs were dangersouly close to visibly shaking and my palms were wet with sweat. I felt like I was dangling myself over the jaws of a bear trap, not sure when or if I will fall into it.

My airways started to close. I fought against his magic to reopen them but he was much stronger. I collapsed to my knees as the lack of oxygen took all my energy. I tried so hard to just breathe. He couldn't kill me but this was dangerous.

"Your lack of respect towards me does not warrant more on my end." He stepped close so his boots almost touched my hands. I fell onto my elbows and eventually my back. The corners of my vision were getting darker, zoning in on his terrifying face. "I'm the one in control. Until you've reached my level, which I expect to take centuries, that fact will always remain."

My airways opened up just enough for me to get a little more oxygen. I rolled onto my elbows in an effort to stand, though it was in vain. He bent down and pulled my chin up so I was forced to look him in the eyes.

"You are mine for eternity." The venom in his voice wasn't as sharp but the threat was still there. "This will work in my favor one way or another. I'm gracing you with the opportunity to choose how in which that happens." He let go of my face and my airways opened. I sucked in the sweet, cold air as he disappeared into the shadows.

I thought I had this handled.

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Author's Note:

Ooooooh to have Alastor say 'you are mine for eternity' :P