#i went a little crazy with this one compared to what i'd normally do

[kokuou-ji]

💧🌱 forgotten statue 🌱💧

[writtenbymisunderstoodnerds]

Best day of my life (USWNT x ADHD reader)

Song: The one my heart beats for by Greg Steinfeld

This took longer than I expected and I got a bit carried away, but it's finally done!

I love this series, but I think it might be coming to an end. I'm open to doing one more part if you guys might want one, let me know and feel free to send me some ideas!

Warnings: Panic attack, self doubt

Part One, Two, Three, Four

Words: 7.3k

"What's got you so excited today?" Tierna asked sitting down next to me on the field. While I had tried to tone it down a bit, I was very hyperactive today. My hyperactivity was always worse when I was excited, there was pretty much nothing that could be done to stop it. Ally had to go back home for a month for work. We hadn't been apart for that long since her promotion so I was suffering. She was coming back today so it was safe to say I was extremely excited.  

"Take a guess."

"Something to do with your better half I'd say. Is she coming back today?"

I did a little wiggle before flopping back onto the grass, "Yup. A month is way too long to not be with her. Oh! It's also her birthday in a few days! I love her birthday because it's the one day I get to go all out spoiling her and she can't complain about it." 

"You two are adorable, I love how excited you get to see her. We should do a team dinner to celebrate Ally's birthday. Is the wedding planning all done?"

"You guys would really want to celebrate her birthday? Um also mostly, we just need to sort out wedding rings and honeymoon."

Tierna looked at me like I had just said the craziest thing ever, "You're marrying her, we see her almost as much as you and she is amazing. Y/n, Ally is family now, of course we want to celebrate her. What rings are you going to get?"

The problem was, I had no idea what my ring was going to be. I had been scouring the internet and countless jewelers for anything that might work, but I was drawing a blank. Rings were a sensory nightmare for me, I could wear them for a short time before they started driving me crazy. Ally had gotten me a few rings over the years, mostly fidget rings. She knew I liked them and wanted to try adjusting even though I always ended up wearing them on a chain. It was my wedding ring though, I wanted to be able to wear it normally, to show off that I was married.

"I don't know. I think Ally is going to use her engagement ring since she loves it so much. I really struggle with wearing rings so we were talking about getting me a fidget ring though a fancier one to fit as a wedding ring. That way I can play with it and hopefully it'll help me get used to it. Ally wouldn't care if I wore it on a chain, but I want to wear it like normal people do, I want to show off I'm married T."

"Hey, don't go comparing yourself to others okay? I think a fidget ring is a great idea and it's awesome you're trying to adjust even if it makes you uncomfortable. Just be patient with yourself and if all else fails, just get it tattooed."

"That's not a silly idea. Thanks T."

---

"Hey Y/n, wher-"

"Don't have time," I yelled running away from Emily. Ally had messaged saying she was downstairs. I was very excited to see her, but I also wasn't going to let her carry her bags up herself. Whenever we went anywhere, I carried her bags. Ally had messaged me when she was already in the lobby, so I was in a rush to beat her before she could come up. 

Before Ally had the chance to turn around I wrapped my arms around her waist and spun her around. She squealed, well at least the person I was currently spinning around squealed. As soon as I heard it, I realised it wasn't Ally. "Oh my god, I'm so sorry. I thought you were someone else."

The women laughed, before turning around to reveal Ally's younger sister. When you see her face on, they look nothing alike, but behind they look very similar, "Hi Y/n."

"Dani? What are you doing here? Where's Ally? I'm very confused."

"Ally's over there getting her key. I'm in town for a work conference so figured I'd come see Ally for her birthday." By this point, the coaches just automatically roomed me alone, but put down for two so Ally could stay with me. There had been a bit of push back when Ally first started traveling with me, though it was quickly realised that I played better when sharing a room with Ally.

After giving Dani a proper hug, I pulled away to go find Ally. There was no way I was going to repeat what just happened so instead I tapped Ally on the shoulder once she was clearly identified. "A warning would have been nice y'know, I just picked up and spun around your sister. Like I'm not complaining, I love your sister, but I love you more."

"I know, I saw and it was hilarious." I pouted. Ally giggled, pulling me into a hug and subtly kissing my neck. We didn't go out of our way to hide our relationship, but we were more careful in public. Things were easier without the public interfering, I also didn't want Ally to have to deal with the meanness of some of the fans. "I'm sorry my love. It was a last minute plan."

I pretended to think about it for a second before smirking, "Hmm I'll forgive you later when we're alone."

Ally blushed, but pulled me over to Dani without a word. I could only guess what was going through her mind. Dani had become like a sister to me pretty much as soon as we had met. So despite my initial embarrassment, I was actually really excited to see her. She was only a few months younger than me and much to Ally's dismay, she did match my energy most of the time. Ally loved that we got along, but it meant she had to deal with two crazy people. 

It was too early for dinner yet so Ally, Dani and I hung around in our room for a while catching up and talking about wedding stuff. Dani made me sit through the torture of looking at her possible dress choices. Ally loved it, but I would rather be doing anything else. Dani literally sat on me though, so there was no other option. 

Ally was taking too long to get ready so Dani and I decided to wait for her in the lobby. I had spent too much time sitting down and was feeling restless so I ran down the stairs while Dani walked behind me, complaining she wasn't an athlete and to slow down. I just flipped her off and ran faster, knowing full well that if Ally or Ali found out I would be in trouble.

Dani had decided to chase me after flipping her off. Some of the team were hanging around the lobby so I made a beeline to Ali and hid behind her, though Dani hadn't given up. I managed a few laps around Ali before she grabbed my shirt, allowing Dani to catch me. The team watched on as Dani tickled me, while I tried to fight her off. It wasn't an easy task given the full blown fits of laughter, but I managed to get her into a headlock. 

Eventually, Dani pulled out of my grip, doubling over in laughter while attempting to catch her breath. I followed suit, not realising how many eyes were currently on us. "Uh hey Y/n and mystery women who's not your fiancé."

My head shot up as I realised how strange this probably looked to them. "Right, this is Dani. Dani the team."

"Hello team."

"Where's Ally?" Ali asked, still looking very confused.

"She was taking too long to get ready as always so we left without her. We're always waiting on her, such a slowpoke." Dani answered, getting raised eye brows in response. A few of the team looked like they wanted to say something, but held back. It was then I realised I hadn't actually told them who Dani was.

"Dani is Ally's sister by the way. She's in town for work so we thought we'd go out for an early birthday dinner for Ally."

"Ohh that makes more sense. Nice to meet you Dani."

Ally caught my eye, looking stunning as always. I was really looking forward to having time alone with her. Not necessarily for inappropriate reasons, but to cuddle with her, the lazy make out sessions before we fell asleep or when we woke up and just being close to her. Dani flicked my ear, running out of my reach. Ali dodged me as I ran around her, moving to the safety of where Ally was standing, "Are they always like that?"

"Unfortunately. Dani matches Y/n's energy pretty much constantly so it's like having a hyperactive Y/n, times like 10 because they feed off each other. Dani is like the sister Y/n never had. They're happy, so I'm happy even though it's exhausting sometimes. I'll give them a few minutes to tire themselves out before stopping them, hopefully they'll sit through dinner."

"Good luck. The team and I were thinking we could go out for dinner to celebrate your birthday. Either on the day or a day around it. What do you think?"

"I would love that." Ally's smile caught my eye, distracting me from where I was going and making me run into Kristie. She stopped me from falling, but all my attention was still on Ally. It was one of her genuinely happy smiles, something that people wouldn't be able to tell apart from her regular smiles. This smile was more lopsided and toothy, the corner of her eyes crinkling just a bit more. Besides her love filled smile it was my favourite smile. Kristie and Dani followed my eye line when I didn't say anything for a while, "What are you looking at?"

"She's looking at Ally of course. She's in looooove."

"More than I ever thought possible," I mumbled, moving over to stand next to Ally. "I love you."

---

We had finished dinner a little while ago and had been walking around, but we all had to be up early so we dropped Dani at her hotel before starting the short walk back to ours. There weren't that many people around so my arm wrapped around Ally's shoulder, pulling her against me as we walked. "I love everyone and everything, but I'm really glad we're alone now. I missed you."

Ally kissed the spot under my ear, "I missed you too Y/n/n. Thankfully, I don't think I'll need to spend that much time away for a while."

"Good. Mmm I can't wait to cuddle."

"I believe you hinted at something earlier."

"Oh yeah, you giving me a massage to make up for not telling me about Dani."

Ally groaned, pushing me away, "You're such a tease."

I laughed, pulling Ally back into me, peppering her face with kisses, "I'm sorry."

"Nah," She pouted, walking away and into the hotel. I went to chase after her, but a group of fans outside the hotel called out to me. Interacting with fans was one of my favourite things to do so of course I went over. I knew she wasn't seriously mad or anything so it made me feel less bad about going over to them. Also, she was waiting just inside giving me reassuring smiles. Ten minutes and dozens of photos later, I made my way back into the hotel, following Ally into the elevator. 

My arms wrapped around her waist from behind, leaving light kisses across her neck. Sometimes, I felt bad that Ally had to deal with me being well known to the public. She never complained about it, instead keeping her distance and allowing me to interact as I wanted to. The guilt was hitting pretty hard right now though.

Once we were back in the room, Ally cupped my cheek, pulling me in for a slow, lingering kiss, "What's wrong?"

I shrugged, not meeting her eyes, "Nothing."

"Liar. You haven't said a word since you came inside, you got all soft and touchy suddenly so talk to me."

 "You're the best you know that? It can't be easy dating someone who's in the public eye all the time."

"You're feeling guilty again aren't you?" I just nodded, sitting on the edge of the bed. Ally straddled my legs, letting my head fall against her shoulder. "Y/n, I knew before we started dating that you were in the public eye and that once you got called up, it would only get worse. Maybe it's not always easy, but if I couldn't handle it, then I wouldn't have pursued you, let alone agreed to spend the rest of my life with you. You're respectful about it, you know the time and place to leave me to interact with them. Please don't feel guilty Y/n/n. Now, I know it's getting late, but I've really really missed you so what do you say we get reacquainted."

Once we were thoroughly reacquainted and cuddled up in bed for the night, I completed my nightly routine of scrolling the internet for my wedding ring. This time though I think I found the one. It was a simple black titanium fidget ring, engraved with shooting stars. They were subtle as they were black and flush with the surface. Ally absolutely loved stars so it would be a little reminder of her when we were apart. Another perk was there was the option to have the band width smaller which would be perfect.

I quickly rolled over toward Ally, making her look at me confused. "Baby I think I finally found my ring."

"Ooo show me." Ally grinned after seeing the photo, kissing my temple, "I love it. Stars because of me right?"

"You know me too well. A part of you for when you're not around."

"You're such a sap."

I cuddled against her side, leaning up to connect our lips, "Only for you Ally."

"Better be. Now we've got everything else sorted, we need to plan our honeymoon."

"Honestly, I don't even know where to start. There are so many options."

"Well, you've always talked about wanting to go back to New Zealand to explore the south island. Maybe we could do that? It'll be winter, but it'll be ski season."

"Wait really? That sounds amazing. It kinda fits, skiing was our first trip as a couple and it'll be our first trip as a married couple. I'll look into game schedules so we can book it."

---

Something anyone could tell you was that I was not in the slightest a morning person. I hated waking up early and would do everything to avoid it. That being said, there were three days in a year that I naturally woke up early for. They were Ally's birthday, our anniversary and since meeting Ally, Christmas. This morning I was awake at 7:30am because it was Ally's 27th birthday. It was too early to wake her up so I spent almost an hour enjoying cuddles before getting restless and sneaking out of bed to find breakfast for us. 

I peppered Ally's face with kisses. She groaned, shoving her face further against my chest, "Baby wake up it's your birthday!"

"Why does my birthday have to be one of the three days a year you turn into a morning person?" Ally groaned.

"Because I get to spoil you and you can't complain. Now I got you breakfast. I couldn't make it this year, but I found a cafe close by that had all your favourites so you gotta wake up."

Ally protested, but sat up anyway, taking the coffee with a sleepy smile. We ate breakfast in comfortable quite, some random show playing in the background. I just wanted to give her the presents I got, but I wanted her to enjoy her breakfast while it was warm so I waited impatiently. As soon as Ally finished eating, I pecked her lips before practically running to the cupboard where I had hidden them.

"Y/n, why did you get me so much? You know you don't have to."

"I don't have to, I want to so deal with it. Besides, it's only three things. You are an amazing, incredible women who deserves to be spoilt. I love you so much. Happy birthday my love."

"Thank you Y/n/n. I do appreciate it even though I don't like you buying me heaps of stuff. I love you."

"I know, now open them!"

In all honesty, I wanted to buy Ally much more than I actually did, but I knew she would feel really bad and not enjoy them as much. Instead I stuck with matching silver initial necklaces with a heart pendant, a star map of the night I proposed and a custom engraved keychain with a photo of me standing behind Ally, arms wrapped around her as she looked back at me with a huge grin. It was her favourite photo of us. These were all things that she had talked about wanting. Ally grinned, launching herself into my arms giggling. "You remembered. Thank you, I love them."

"You wanna know a secret?" Ally nodded quickly, "You know my memories shit so whenever you point something out that you want or talk about, I write it down in my phone notes so I remember."

"Really? You're so sweet Y/n/n. Put this on for me?"

I secured the necklace around her neck, leaving kisses across her neck and jaw before leaving a lingering kiss against her lips. "I have a whole day planned for you. Don't even ask because it's all a surprise."

We spent a while making out before moving to the shower and finally leaving the hotel. Ally went for a spa and massage session, while I went to get stuff required for a picnic lunch at the gardens. It was a little bit chilly, but Ally loved picnics so it was still perfect. We just used it as an excuse to cuddle the whole time. After the picnic, we walked around for a little bit before going to a board game cafe. They had a heap of board games you could play while you were there. While board games may not have been my thing, they were definitely Ally's and her birthday was all about things that she liked doing. That night, I took Ally to a restaurant where the team were waiting to surprise her. Of course we finished the night cuddled up in bed watching all of Ally's favourite movies. 

---

I felt multiple intense and overwhelming feelings as I read the text from an unknown number. 

Unknown: Hi Y/n, it's mum and dad. We're sorry it's been a while, but we've been thinking about you recently and wanted to check in, see how you're doing?

Unknown: We also heard you were getting married and wanted to say congratulations. We're sure he's lovely and can't wait to meet him. Maybe we can sort out a time before your wedding?

Anger, disgust, sadness, fear and many more emotions swirled around my head as all I could do was stare at the message. I didn't know how they had gotten my number, how they knew I was getting married or why they suddenly felt the need to reach out after years of no contact. There was nothing on my public social media about it and the only family I still talked to were a few cousins that had nothing to do with my parents. It was safe to say I was confused as hell and slightly scared at how they were getting information on me. They also knew I was gay, yet they still refused to acknowledge it, instead deciding to misgender my fiancé. 

I didn't know what to do, I didn't know how to process it. The familiar tightness in my chest returned as my breath caught in my throat. The tightness that I hadn't felt in so long. It felt like I was drowning, no matter how hard I tried I couldn't catch my breath. My phone fell to the floor, catching the attention of some of the girls. They were saying stuff that I couldn't comprehend as a hand landed on my shoulder. I knew they were trying to help, but it just sent more panic through me as I shrugged it off and stumbled back. 

Arms wrapped tightly around me from behind, calming me down enough to realise it was Ali. I wanted my Ally, but Ali was helping enough to breath a little easier despite still panicking. 

"You're okay, I've got you Y/n. Ally is coming, but I need you to take some deep breaths for me. Just follow my breathing."

The more I focused on mine and her breathing, the easier it became. I found myself relaxing against Ali. The tightness in my chest slowly disappearing. A few minutes later, hands cupped my face, familiar lips leaving soft kisses across my face before landing on my lips.

"Ally," I whimpered, pushing myself into her arms. 

"I've got you my love. Come on, let's go back to our room."

Ally didn't question what had happened straight away, instead she held me tightly as I curled into her side and cried. All the feelings and memories from growing up came rushing back. It had been years since I cried over them, I couldn't help feeling stupid. They didn't deserve my tears. 

A hand ran through my hair and down my back, effectively helping me to calm down enough to stop the tears, but left me a hiccupping mess, "What happened Y/n/n?"

I handed her my phone, never leaving the safety of her side, "Messages."

She was quiet for a few seconds before my phone was thrown back on the bed next to us and I was held tighter, "Oh hell no. Don't even give them the satisfaction of a reply, they don't deserve it and you don't need to deal with this. We can just block them and move past this."

"I know that's what I should do. I don't want anything to do with them, but how did they know I was getting married? We haven't posted anything publicly and we don't know anyone who has anything to do with them. They also shouldn't be able to message, I blocked them. It scares me."

"Okay, I'll text them back and ask then block them. You're not going to have anything to do with it."

"Thank you Ally. I feel like this is a huge step back. I thought I had accepted the situation and moved past it, but I obviously haven't."

"That's not true. It was unexpected, they put you through hell and this was a normal reaction. You've made so much progress, this doesn't take away from that. I know it might have taken you back to times you don't want to remember, but you'll move past it. We'll work through this together."

"I love you."

"I love you Y/n."

It didn't take long for my parents to reply. In all honesty, they were probably waiting by the phone. They were likely delusional enough to think that everything they did to me would be forgotten and I would welcome them back with open arms. Actually, they never understood what they put me through so in reality they just expected to act like the last 3 years never happened.

"So apparently my gran told her church group I was getting married, showing off photos and everything. Someone from the group recoganised you as the daughter of someone they know from a different group and told them you were getting married. As for your number, apparently they just got a new phone and tried your old number. I guess they got embarrassed that they didn't know so wanted to make themselves look better. I'm so sorry baby, I didn't know they were connected in anyway. I'll talk to gran about keeping stuff to herself."

"It's not your fault, it's such a random connection. I don't blame your grandma either, she's just excited that her granddaughter is getting married. We can talk to her about it tomorrow or something. Can you tell them I don't want anything to do with them, then tell them to fuck off, block them and delete the messages? I don't want any reminder of this."

"Of course. I think maybe we should change your number so this can't happen again."

"That's a tomorrow job as well. For now can we just have a bath then cuddle and watch movies? After you please let the girls know I'm okay."

"That sounds like heaven. Let me call my boss as well and let her know I'm done for the day."

"No, you should be working. I'll be fine."

"That's not happening. You're more important than work."

Ally slipped out of my grip to call her boss and run a bath before coming back. I pouted, lifting my arms up, "Carry me?"

"Baby, I would love to carry you, but you're the strong one. You know I would drop you."

She was right, I knew it from experience. Doesn't mean I didn't pout the whole time I was getting up, "Ugh fine."

"Don't pout. I can give you a massage instead."

---

None of the team had been told the details of what caused my panic attack a few days. I hadn't wanted to bring it up again. Surprisingly, after the initial panic attack, it hadn't effected me as much as I expected. There had been a few nightmares to begin with, but Ally had stopped me from bottling it up and actually made me deal with it. 

Ali gave me a quick hug before letting me into her room, "I know you probably don't want to talk about it, but you doing okay kiddo?"

"I think so. Ally's been a big help." Besides Ally, Ali was the person I trusted most, so I gave her a quick rundown on what had happened. Even if she tried not to show it, I knew she was worried.  

"Don't worry, even if they show up, they won't be getting in."

"Thanks Ali. I know I've asked a lot of you recently, but I have another favour to ask."

"You know I would do almost anything for you Y/n."

"Will you teach me how to dance? Ally wants to have a first dance, but I don't really know how. She knows and offered not to have one which I agreed to. I'm planning on surprising her though and want it to be perfect."

Ali smiled widely, "Of course I will. I really admire how much effort you're putting into this. I'm sure she'll love it either way because you tried."

Ali put some slow music on quietly in the back ground before standing in front of me, "There are two ways you can do it, either holding one of her hands as you more around or one persons arms around the waist while the others around the neck. Or you can do both depending what you're comfortable with."

Ali guided one of my hands so it was around her waist, hers looped around the back of my neck as she connected our spare hands, "Obviously you two will be closer, but you get the idea."

We moved around in small steps, swaying to the music as I focused on not stepping on her feet. It didn't work though as my foot connected with the top of hers, she flinched, but laughed it off. "It's okay, we'll keep practicing. You're doing great. If you step on her feet, just laugh it off and keep going. I'm pretty sure she won't mind because you're trying."

I stepped on her feet multiple times before managing to go a few minutes without stepping on her feet and we moved on. I was starting to relax by this point while also getting excited about dancing with Ally. Ali looped her arms loosely around my shoulders as mine went around her waist. We mostly just swayed this time as she gave me pointers on where I could rest my hands or head on Ally. "I want you to spin me."

"What? No I can't do that."

"Yes you can, when we do the first dance, move your hand up, spin me around then bring me back in either into the same dance or into the second one which ever feels more comfortable."

As I attempted to spin Ali around, I brought her back in too quickly and ended up head butting her. "Shit, I'm sorry. See I can't do the spin."

"Yes you can, we'll keep practicing. It'll feel easier with Ally because she's a bit shorter than you. Just bring me in slower."

It took a lot more head butting and tripping before I finally got the hang of it. Before we got the chance to practice the full thing properly, Ally's name flashed across my phone screen. I instantly remembered that we had dinner plans tonight and I was running late. 

"I have to go."

"You did good today. On the day you're going to be nervous both because you don't want to mess up in front of everyone and because you want to be good for Ally. So when you start getting nervous, just focus on Ally, let her guide you." 

"Thank you Ali. See you tomorrow."

---

I couldn't believe in just over three hours I would be married to the love of my life. I was excited beyond belief, but I was also incredibly nervous. What if I wasn't a good wife? What if Ally changed her mind and decided she didn't want to get married anymore? What if we didn't work as a married couple?

I knew it was just me overthinking. Ally and I worked well together. We loved each other deeply, we connected and understood each other, we had fun. Maybe it was cheesy, but we were made for each other. Not just because we met and connected instantly. We worked hard to get where we were, we worked hard to keep our relationship working despite our busy schedules, distance, and my issues with my ADHD. I tried to remember that as my thoughts went crazy, but it wasn't working. Ali was updating me on the set up and preparations, I couldn't focus on anything she was saying though. I was too busy overthinking.

"Y/n, Y/n!"

"Huh?"

"Are you okay?"

"I-I-I c-can't do this," I stammered, before running out of the house, Ali calling after me. I didn't stop until I found a hidden part of the beach where I slumped in the sand, tears falling down my cheeks. I don't know how long had passed when someone sat down behind me, arms wrapping around my waist and chin resting on my shoulder. Without even looking, I knew it was Ally, the softness of the way she held me and the smell of her hair gave it away. She didn't say anything for a while, just held me until the tears stopped.

Ally kissed my temple, hands drawing soothing patterns across my stomach. They weren't the soft touches most people find soothing, those touches made my sensory issues worse. There was a little bit more force behind it, making me relax against her. Sitting here with Ally, I realised that I was being stupid, there was no doubt that I was going to marry her today. Instead of being angry that I had ran away, she was here comforting me. "We can postpone if you don't want to do this, if you're having second thoughts about getting married. I understand, I know it was quick."

I quickly turned around, accidently knocking Ally over. "Shit sorry." I helped her so she was sitting again before kissing her softly, "No, no, we're not postponing. I want to marry you Ally, I'm going to marry you today, go to bed calling you my wife. I'm sorry I ran, I got stuck in my head, overthinking this, overthinking if I would even be a good wife, if you even still wanted to marry me, but didn't want to tell me and I freaked out."

"Baby, I want to marry you more than anything in this world, that hasn't changed and it won't ever change. You're are an amazing girlfriend Y/n, you're going to be an amazing wife. We're going to keep being the best couple there is and getting married is only going to strengthen that. I love you, I love you so much."

"I love you Ally. Can we stay here for a while?"

"We can stay here as long as you need. Ali's going to take care of the set up and everything. When you're ready we can go back and get ready for the first look."

I settled back between Ally's legs, back against her front as I watched the water, feeling more relaxed than I had all day, "I can't wait, you're going to look incredible."

"So are you Y/n/n."

Ally and I had decided to do the outfit reveals before the ceremony because I knew I wouldn't be able to control my emotions once I saw her. So here I was waiting anxiously for the love of my life to step around the corner. I was nervous about Ally's thoughts on my suit, but I was more anxious to finally see what Ally was wearing. Just as I was starting to get impatient, there she was. I froze, tears starting to fall instantly, I crouched down for a second, face buried in my hands to control the tears.

The sleeveless blue dress lined with lace, the black flats, her hair half up in a braid with the rest loose. She looked incredible, more breathtaking then I could have ever imagined. Ally stopped in front of me, small smile present with eyes shining with love and unshed tears. I took her hand, spinning her around so I could admire everything about her. Ally looked amazing on any given day, but today I was absolutely speechless.

"Y-y-yo-u-" I cut myself off, taking a deep breath to get myself together, "Y-you look breathtaking Ally, absolutely incredible. Holy shit."

Ally grinned, cupping my cheeks and connecting our lips. I heard protests about messing up Ally's make up, but I didn't care. Ally pulled away, this time being the one to take my hand and spin me around, she let out a long breath, making me slightly nervous, "Fuck you look stunning baby, my god you look incredible. I know it's probably out of your comfort zone, but you should definitely wear maroon more often, it is definitely your colour."

"I almost didn't choose it because it's not what I normally wear, but I decided to step out of my comfort zone for once."

Ally laced her fingers with mine, "I'm so proud of you love."

"Alright guys it's almost time to seal the deal so it's photo time," Alex interrupted as Ally was leaning in to kiss me. 

I groaned pulling away, "You couldn't have waited 2 seconds? We already had photos."

"And have you ruin her make up? No, you can do that after the photos. You had photos of your reveal, we want proper couple photos."

---

It was time. It was time to marry the love of my life. Of course I was nervous, incredibly so, but as the time came to walk down the aisle, most of my nerves were replaced with excitement. I was about to marry my person and there was nothing in this world I wanted more. We had decided I was going to go first, purely for the reason that I was dying to watch her walk down aisle. There was no better way to do that, then be standing at the end already.

We had gone pretty simple with decorations. The aisle was made out of various coloured petals, lined with rows of chairs and a wooden arch draped with white fabric at the end. String lights were strung around the trees, fence and patio. The chairs would later be replaced by outdoor furniture and bean bags. Long tables for food and the bar were set up, as well as a smore station for when the firepit was lit. We had made sure to hire a bartender to stop anyone getting out of control. 

Also, while we had hired a photographer, we also had a bunch of polaroid and disposable cameras for everyone to take their own photos. That way we had more intimate and fun memories. We had found a guest book that had mini envelopes and note cards so people could leave little messages if they chose to. The envelopes were the best idea knowing how inappropriate some of the team could be.  

Dance with me in the rain In the heart of Spain Let your hair fall down Curl around your face And sway with the tide Of the strangers passing us by

My arm linked with Ali's, her squeezing mine gently. Our friends and family lined the sides, huge smiles and some with tears in their eyes. My heart warmed knowing they were willing to be here, that they cared enough to make plans last minute to see us get married. 

Well let them watch What do we care There's no need to rush To come up for air As the world spins around us we dive In each other's eyes

No I don't want to go Can't seem to leave you alone For all that I am I wouldn't stand a chance This life on my own So love me now Love me forever Love me today and the days we're not together A moment this right is too hard to deny That you're the one The one my heart beats for

Land light on my feet To not make a peep Tip toe across the room So the floors don't creak As you're laying in bed Perfectly sound asleep I'll wake you with a kiss So you do not miss Your morning cup of coffee Pressed against your lips As the sun warms us up through the blinds We turn back the time

We stopped at the end, Ali kissing my cheek before walking back to her spot. I waited for a few seconds, trying not to fidget for once in my life. Every second that went by, made me want to walk back down grab her and drag her back because she was taking too long. Ally finally appeared, arm linked with her dad who had a huge, proud smile. There was a time in our relationship where I never thought he would be happy about us getting married. We had a rocky start, but now they were family. They had taken me in, treated me as if I was their own daughter. Between Ally, her family and the team, I had never been so loved.

No I don't want to go Can't seem to leave you alone For all that I am I wouldn't stand a chance This life on my own So love me now Love me forever Love me today and the days we're not together A moment this right is too hard to deny That you're the one The one my heart beats for No I don't want to go Can't seem to leave you alone For all that I am I wouldn't stand a chance This life on my own

They stopped in front of me, Ally's dad pulling her in for a hug and kiss on the cheek before moving to hug me, "You look amazing Y/n."

He moved back to his spot, while I took Ally's hands, kissing her cheek softly. We stood there, just looking at each other as the song came to an end. There was so much love shining in her eyes that it made my knees go weak. 

So love me now Love me forever Love me today and the days we're not together A moment this right is too hard to deny That you're the one A moment this right is too hard to deny That you're the one The one my heart beats for

We had chosen to have Sydney officiate our wedding just as she had with Ali and Ashlyn. It made the day feel just that little bit more personal. Once everyone was seated and quiet, Sydney started speaking.

"Thank you everyone for being here today to celebrate the marriage of our amazing Y/n and Ally. We all know Y/n gets antsy when she has to stand still for too long so we'll keep this as brief as possible. The relationship between Y/n and Ally is so full of love, life and friendship. It puts even the best of us to shame. With that being said, Y/n and Ally have chosen to write their own vows. Ally you're up."

"There are so many things I want to say to you, but we would be here all day if I did. So instead I'll start with thank you. Thank you for choosing me, for letting me in and trusting me with you and your heart. For trusting me enough to be your person and to show me who you are inside and out. With that, I vow to you that I will always tressure your love. I will always be by your side when you need me, I will always be there to hold you up when you need it and support you with everything I am. I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you. I love you now and I will love you forever."

"Okay, you'll have to bare with me because there's no doubt I'm going to cry." There were a few laughs as Ally squeezed my hand. "There was a time in my life when I never thought this would happen for me. Where I never thought I would find someone who loves and trusts me so unconditionally, who understands me so deeply and who makes me laugh uncontrollably. Then you came crashing into my life, flipping it upside down in the best way possible. 

"You are my world Ally, my everything. I am far from perfect, but I promise to always be open and honest even on days that aren't great, to always support you in everything you do, to make you smile and laugh even when you don't feel like it. I promise to hold you, cuddle you and kiss you every chance I get because I know how much you love it. Most importantly I promise to love you with everything I am everyday for the rest of our lives."

My voice cracked as I pulled her closer, cupping her cheek and kissing her forehead, "You are my partner in life and love. I love you beyond what words can describe, I love the person I have become with you and the life we have and will continue to build."

"Now the rings. Ally, do you take Y/n to be your wife?"

Ally smiled widely, "I do."

I slipped the ring on her finger before letting her take my hand, "Y/n, do you take Ally to be your wife?"

"I do."

Ally slipped the ring on my finger, kissing it after she did so. If even possible, my smile grew as I stopped myself from fidgeting with excitement. One final sentence and Ally would be my wife. 

"It is my pleasure to pronounce you wife and wife. You may now kiss the bride."

My arm wrapped around her waist, the other cupping her head as I dipped her, lips connecting in a long, passionate kiss. Everyone cheered and clapped as I threw my hands up, "We're married bitches!!"

---

"We would like to welcome the newlyweds to the floor for their first dance."

Ally looked confused, but let me take her hand and guide her to the dance floor. Just like Ali showed me, I wrapped my arm around her waist, pulling her against me and taking her hand in mine. Ally smiled, pecking my lips before resting her head on my shoulder as we moved around slowly. As we danced around, watched by our closest family and friends, I was the happiest I had ever been. To have so many people come to celebrate with us at last minute, I felt loved, possibly more than I ever had.

After a couple of minutes, I successfully spun Ally around, bringing her into me and connecting our lips. My head landed against Ally's shoulder, kissing the bare skin softly, "We're married Ally, we're actually married."

Ally giggled, kissing my temple, "Best day of my life so far. You learnt how to dance."

"You wanted to have a first dance so I got Ali to teach me. You make so many compromises for me, I wanted you to have this."

"This is how I know we'll be good married, you're so thoughtful and sweet, you go out of your comfort zone for me with out a second thought. I love you."

"I love you more my wife."

[timeofjuly]

Twenty Questions for Fic Writers

Thank you so much for the tag @floofanflurr <3 I am always happy to yap about my fics! I'll pop this below the cut 'cause it's kinda long.

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

Eight under the timeofjuly account, and a few others scattered around other usernames and the anonymous collection.

2. What’s your total AO3 word count? 124,470 words, which is kinda crazy to look back on since I only started in August of last year.

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Just Undertale at the moment, but I've written for a few other fandoms in the past.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Resisting the Current

Trick or Heat

Wishbone

Parallel Circuits

And Four Papyri in a Pear Tree

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Yes! Always, though it sometimes takes me a little to get around to it. My favourite thing about writing fanfic is the sense of community that you build, so I love getting to chat about the fic in the comments. I always have a million and one thoughts that didn't make it to the page that I'm desperate to share. I also like to say thank you when people go out of their way to comment, because I really appreciate it. As a reader, I know I get super excited when an author replies to my comments.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I'm going to go with a few of the RtC 'verse oneshots for this. I think Resolutions from Parallel Circuits ends on a pretty angsty note, particularly compared to the seemingly upbeat start. From Silver String, there will be no answer is pretty bleak and so is on my way home. I'm quite proud of how they both end, actually - I think they're my two strongest endings in the lot.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Any of the smut, probably? They're all set in happy established relationships and end on a cutesy note.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Not for a very long time, no! I remember, many many years ago, posting my very first fic on fanfic.net lol and getting a very nasty review about how the reader didn't know the main pairing in the fic was m/m (slash back then, what a blast from the past) even though it was very clearly indicated in the summary and the AN at the start. It goes to show people have been bad at curating their own reading experiences by minding the tags and summaries since forever.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Yep! Mostly established relationship stuff under this username so far.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

I'm not super into cross-universe crossovers, but, same as @floofanflurr, I really like playing around with cross fic crossovers. I'm (slowly) writing a crack dialogue-only oneshot where the reader inserts of Wishbone and RtC are stuck together in a broken elevator lol. It's been a fun challenge! It's very very hard to put two characters who are normally referred to in the second person in the same scene, lemme tell you, which is why I ended up choosing to go dialogue only.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I don't think so.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

I have not, but I'd be open to it!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Nothing that I've posted! @marty-parties and I have been messing around with an underfell papyrus/reader fic, though! I also used to rp all the time, which I'd count as cowriting. I miss it very much, even though I used to get super easily overwhelmed by it.

14. What’s your all time favourite ship?

This is such a tough question. I'll pretty much read anything if I vibe with the ship dynamics (pining and unrequited love my beloved, I will read you anywhere no matter the ship or fandom), but I went through my bookmarks to actually get the stats on this. I used to be super into the mcu (I completely lost interest after endgame) so tony/steve and tony/steve/bucky were the most common ships. I have no clue what my favourite ship would be now, though.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Never say never, but I really want to write this horrortale isekai fic I've had bouncing around in my brain. I've fully plotted it out and it's set to only be five chapters, but I'm really struggling to actually write the thing. I have started it, though, so we'll see.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Characterisation, I think. And even though I mostly gravitate towards writing angsty stuff, I think humour and comedic timing is a strength of mine too.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Physical description and settings, 100%. I don't really picture anything in my head when I write, which means all that physical description doesn't make its way onto the page, and when it does, I'm just going off vibes. Particularly with setting - I have zero idea what the locations in any of my fics look like lol. Like, the house in RtC? No clue. Zero.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

Really cool! I love it when people do this and I get to translate it, it's like a nice surprise.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Harry Potter, I think? It's all scrubbed from the internet now though.

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

Wishbone. I am so attached to the Second Mage and Sans and Rus, you have no idea. Particularly Flint, I just adore them. Don't get me wrong, I love the electrician and Quinn and all of my ocs, but I have a special place in my heart for reader inserts who are nasty and hurting and lash out and aren't always the kind, considerate, emotionally stable person in the relationship, forever supporting others. I read something years ago that said to consider how your character is inclined to react to things, both good and bad, and how for lots of people, it's not in our nature to instinctively respond to things with kindness and openness. In fiction, we often expect our POV characters to deal with situations with emotional maturity that we ourselves, along with the majority of irl people, don't have. I think this rings true even more for reader inserts. It's fun to flip this on its head in Wishbone - what if instead of acting with an uncommon kindness, you do the opposite? You get to be flawed. You get to have the murky motives. You get to hurt and in turn you hurt others, and that hurting has real consequences on you and the people around you. This is also a great way to create angst lol - in the non-fell version of Wishbone, where everyone is generally just less of an asshole and therefore makes kinder choices, a lot of the events in the fic just wouldn't happen.

No pressure tag to @covfefeships and anyone else who'd like to do this!

[applepies-and-starlight]

Was Ishmael always your favorite from day one, or did Canto 5 swing things in her direction?

So, she wasn't like, my favorite favorite day 1, but I did have a higher opinion of her compared to the rest of the cast (barring Ryoshu and Sinclair as food name oomf was making propaganda about them like a madman), her initial demeanor also gained her extra points because I generally gravitate towards characters that Actually Respect The MC/PC i won't say no to unhinged characters can we at least pretend to be civil during work hours and not treat me like a dog? It makes me sad :(

And then Canto V dropped.

Normally, this wouldn't be. That Big of a deal, if it was in literally any other position I'd just go "oh cool, so that's what happened" and moved on.

Problem: there was probably at least 20 different sleeper agents in my brain. And all of them involved Azur Lane

(Context for confused LCB moots: Azur Lane is Arknights' weirder, hornier cousin set somewhere in a WW2-adjacent period where all of your units are warships given human form known as Shipgirls (official term: KAN-SEN) and you fight against a robotic menace known as the Sirens)

(Editing Apple: putting this under cut because... oh lird. It's long.)

I had this like, entire ramble I wanted to go off on but at some point I didn't know where to take it lmao, but the basic idea is the following:

I got into Azur Lane last year because of spite and (eldritch-ish) pirates (Hello Royal Fortune!)

Got dragged into lore rabbit hole

Got convinced to read eldritch apocalypse fanfiction of Azur Lane (Whispers of Saturn)

Loved the fanfic a lot, started making Pirate shipgirl ocs based off the fic's concept (eldritch creachurr)

First iteration of Whaleship Essex created; whale-like mermaid-siren figure who has albinism and is a little Too trigger happy with whale murder

Made her look like Ishmael LCB because haha funny reference

Devs went fuckshit crazy with the anniversary event; Marco Polo was raining the wrath of God (who, to the surprise of absolutely nobody, was a false god), the god in question was fucking up the world with a weird white membrane (which, now that I think about it, kinda acted like pallidification), the french were getting back together, everything is great

I try to add the false god(s) into the lore timeline of my Azur Lane shit, cue updates happening to Whaleship Essex where she's the only survivor of her group and knows that someone else also survived but blames them for not being able to Do Something about it

New Pirate event happens

Devs stole 2 of my OCs and made them canon (hi, Hind; hi, Galley) and they also happen to be close to Whaleship Essex while they were my OCs

I work around what the Devs have given me and decide that they're in a state of kinda died-but-not-really (long story)

(Note that I came up with all this oc stuff around like. November or something.)

Overall my hype for The Sea™ and eldritch horrors have reached an all time high

Canto V releases; I learn about it while trying to make a Limbus AU for Murder Drones

I decide to check it out because. Water.

Doomed sailor yuri

"Holy fucking shit did I just predict Canto V with my OC that's completely unrelated in every way except for the fact that she looks A Lot like Ishmael???? What?????"

Present time; I have been stuck in the Limbus hole ever since (and apparently my brain has delusionally stuck itself onto our favorite ginger sailor so uh. hi fellow ishmael irls!)

Sooooo... yeah

Basically we wouldn't be here if the stars didn't align at Halloween 2022 and Manjuu + Yostar gave the AL fans someone who isn't a pirate

[golbrocklovely]

Ignoring the rest of the fandom, are you gonna do an analysis of the parts of the video you found interesting? Because that would be super interesting to read/hear as usually you give very good analysis of things and I'd be super interested to hear what parts interested you the most.

these might be a bit out of place compared to the podcast, but here are some parts that stuck out to me.

also omg this became so long so... grab a snack or something lol

i think it was really telling, and also interesting, to hear about sam's dad and how involved he was with snc and their careers early on. first off, his dad retiring at 47 is crazy, so clearly he was business savvy man and i'm glad to hear how much he helped the boys in the beginning and made sure to really help navigate them. the telling part to all of this is the fact that one of my assumption for the longest time was that colby's family (not his mom, but everyone else - especially his dad) were not as supportive. and this was kinda proof of it. i think they both have relatively conservative families, but colby's is clearly more conservative than sam's. bc if you saw your son being passionate about something and instead of being supportive, you kinda shoot him down - even tho he is finding success and making money from it - you come across like a bad parent in my eyes. it's one thing to be concerned, of course. but it's another thing to be discouraging.

i always had a feeling his family wasn't supportive, given the fact he never even mentions his family besides his mom and occasionally his brother, but this really nailed it on the head for me. it really brings me back to when snc hit some high number of subs, like 6 mil or more, and colby's dad texted him something like "6 mil. that's cool." or something extremely vague like that. and i'm like…… you wanna try to sound a little enthused there, pops??? lol

them, in general, talking about the bts-business stuff was honestly really intriguing to me. bc i've always wondered what happens on the back end of their content, since they never really talk about it. hearing them have adsense taken away from them bc they signed to a shady mcm is so surprising bc they have never mentioned that before. and it honestly makes me wonder if that was why they started their separate channels. i think they had mentioned years ago that they made their personal channels bc they wanted to make content that was outside the snc brand or that just wouldn't have fit on there, so i wonder if part of that was due to not having as much adsense for so long and just needing another avenue to gain money.

i think something else that i thought was cool to hear about was the beginning stages of their confidence journey back when they were in hs. it's an interesting conversation to be had that they (and probably many other guys) grew their social confidence thru disturbing the peace or getting girls' numbers and things of that nature but then comparing that to how girls gain confidence. bc i was the same way as them growing - i was shy, introverted, and socially awkward. and i just feel like all of those things that they claimed to do: the pranks, the "go game", things of that nature, that wouldn't have led me to being more confident. that would have just made me feel foolish, or even less social. but that's also, i think, just my general demeanor anyway. i wish they would have went a little more in depth when asked "why were you so introverted" or however the interviewer put it. bc that would have been a really interesting conversation. too bad they didn't stay on that too long.

like @xplrvibes mentioned, the anxiety conversation really just showed the difference between sam who has situational/occasional anxiety vs colby who (most likely, but i'm no doctor) has an anxiety disorder. to say your most confident was at 15 and you have to continue to stretch your social muscles…. that's not how """"normal"""" ppl work. but i get colby truly. it makes sense why he is a bit of a recluse sometimes or likes his alone time. i think this also weirdly shows that colby, while introverted/a loner naturally, can make friends easily vs sam, who likes to be around others, interestingly can't make friends all too well. or at least comes across awkwardly (by his own admission).

i liked their in depth talk about the killing best friend prank bc they haven't talked about it in years. i vividly remember when that happened and i was so shocked by the idea of it that i didn't watch it and it was before i was even a fan of them. still to this day haven't seen the whole thing. but it was nice to hear sam admit that he was in on it, even tho i know in years past he said the same thing. but so many ppl still believe he wasn't… idk. i personally think he was. plus he literally admitted he taught himself to cry (which… sounds very sociopathic, but i digress lol).

i saw a couple ppl freak out on them for saying that "if we did the following fat ppl vine now, it probably wouldn't be as much of an issue" which… is literally not what they said, but is what ppl claim they were saying. but i get what snc actually meant, which is that if they were starting out again, today, at the age they were all the way back in the day - no one would care about them the same way they have in the past. the pr stunts that they have done over the years that surprisingly worked would most likely not now. i think in a way they would get lost in the shuffle of other content creators. but part of that also is bc of what trends now vs what used to be new and exciting back then. but it is worth noting how many times things have worked out for snc in the end. xplr gods might actually be on their side after all lol

even tho i know snc have kinda done it et nauseum at this point, i do find the topic of the conjuring house interesting. especially since they made this whole spectacle about it bts to friends and really wanted other ppl's opinions on it and what they captured. and i think that, regardless of how you feel about snc or cody and satori, shows that snc really do believe what happened there and were extremely moved by it. that was obvious on camera as well, but i think it's sweet in a way how excited they were and still are about what they experienced there, whether it was technically real or not. i wish there was a way they could talk about it without debunkers losing their minds.

okay so there is a part where snc are talking about the devil's rocking chair, and colby let's slip that he felt like there was a voice telling him to stay in the chair longer…….. and i just need everyone to know that i hate when colby doesn't say that shit while it's happen and instead holds onto it for years and then casually says "oh yeah btw". like???? his empathic nature towards spirits and whatnot is so fascinating to me and i direly need to to explore that more, especially when snc have made it known that they want to work with less equipment/be more open.

the one thing i will fault these two guys interviewing snc for is when they got onto the topic of colby's cancer, colby alluded to there being some underlying trauma when it came to his cancer. that going thru chemo was fine during, but has caused trauma down the line. and like, i would love to know what he means by that. bc a lot of the time, when he talks about this, he alludes to there being something right under the surface, but no one ever presses him on it. of course, i get why some wouldn't do that, but i am genuinely curious. especially since colby always leads with "guys, it surprisingly wasn't that bad. and i'm doing a-okay now" which… hey that's great, but feels not quite right. i pray that colby took time to just, idk, cry or freak out or get angry - SOME FORM of emotion that wasn't just calm, cool, collected. it's great he was optimistic and kept his head up the whole time. that's fantastic. but i worry he's not allowing himself to feel everything fully. and you know, maybe a podcast isn't the place to do that on, sure; but i hope he's done it on his own time.

i think the final thing i want to say that i found interesting is the discussion they had about productivity. imma be honest, i'm very concerned in the long run as to how things are gonna work out for them. bc you have colby who clearly wants a break and needs one at some point, and then you have sam who feels like shit if he's NOT working. that at one point he felt like it was his purpose to work and without working, he didn't have one. and i get they have found a "balance" or so they say on that, but i just feel like in the long run if sam doesn't calm the fuck down on working constantly, he's gonna burn the both of them out. also everything he was talking about when it came to productivity and having that tied to how he feels about himself and whatnot… he sounded like he was about to have a break down or something. he sounded neurotic, and honestly i'm concerned for sam. also measuring every action you do in whether it's productive or not or HOW it's product and to what… dear god, just go to therapy. holy shit.

okay. i think that was everything. sorry this was super long, but hopefully that makes up for me taking like two days to respond lol

[timidloner]

me ascending every time you call me ram <3 (it's like a power up i love it, like joren with mc, you're enabling me to ramble more each time)(sorry in advance for the amount ill send) watch me call you lolo for the loner in your username

it was very clear so we appreciate it!! and exactly omfg you get it, there's nothing wrong with being a conventionally attractive white man but personally it's so underwhelming compared to what i sometimes imagined (one time i played a game where i thought the guy had long black hair brooding and sharp looks like babygirl right? but then i saw the pictures and he had short very bland looks i cried.) tiktok goes crazy with THESE especially with the fancasting people do for books, its always the same kind of dudes its tragic (definitely an interesting topic from a sociological perspective but ill stop too lmaoaoa)

moles are so attractive normally but now with your concept too? brain rot i cant believe... is joren's neck sensitive? please i need to know because just MC touching the moles but instead they watch joren's neck turn red and both end up blushing like fools and THE SCARS WOAHHHH????? MC turning his scars into something joren can love by admiring them (tho the angst would be crazy if the MC was to be disgusted but personally my MC could never cause joren is our big meow meow)(im still not over the fact he can purr like can the MC scratch the back of his ears too? i need MOREEEE MONSTER FACTS)

AWWW, I love it!! Lolo is such a cute nickname!!

And I actually went to booktok to study (laugh at) this phenomenon and you're so right!! There's nothing wrong with these dudes, of course, but when the entirety of your male cast looks the same, it just becomes booooooring. They look like brothers!! Add some spice, please!!

Fortunately, that kind of surprise hasn't happened to me, I either never see the characters' portraits (IF) or that's the first thing I do (VN). But I won't go into detail about my feelings here, gotta stay away from controversies now that I'm a game dev (never gets old), haha!!

And yes! I've always loved moles, on someone's wrist, neck, below their eye, or the edge of their mouth... Doesn't matter, they are great.

I'd say both his neck and wrists are sensitive. And I love that idea, but due to his skin tone, his blush isn't really visible! So instead of turning red, we could say that MC is touching him and suddenly his skin heats up under their palm and he starts to sweat a little bit!

And ugh, now I can't help but imagine MC calling Joren their handsome man while tracing his scars...

Like, he doesn't really care if he's considered good-looking or not, but MC calling him that???? He'd melt. Suddenly, he'd understand why everyone is so concerned about beauty, and how good that kind of validation feels. He'd even start putting more effort into his appearance.

And maybe he could start seeing his scars as proof of how brave he's been throughout his life? He could stop being neutral about it, and become proud of them?

On the other hand, if MC finds him disgusting for his scars, it would make him insecure for the first time in a really long time. He'd try to dress in tunics with long sleeves, and always face MC with the "better" side of his face, so they don't have to look at his scar.

And yes!! Of course MC gets to scratch his ears, I'm pouring all of my impossible dreams of cuddling a big cat in those scenes. I'll think of some monster facts for tomorrow!!

[bearpillowmonster]

Outer Worlds Review

I could see why someone may or may not like this game. On one hand, it has good character work and a unique sensibility that matches Obsidian's past work with the way people talk like they're from a southern shore. It'd make for a good book. On the other hand, I feel like there are some elements missing that fail to make it unique enough of a game.

The graphics aren't bad by any means but they do that weird thing where sometimes they'll look untextured and just bare masses and other times they'll look fleshed out and good, maybe it was just the way my computer ran it. But some of the environments made the color look too blended in despite whatever settings I could find to fix that, making the bodies difficult to find and loot in certain areas.

It's a bit of a mixture of Fallout and Mass Effect if I'm being honest, going to different planets, taking different party members and getting their quests and dialogue, it's neat. This was my 4th of July game and what a choice for its capitalism subtones, well done.

The worlds are really nice and varied and there're plenty of NPCs with so much personality to make it feel lived in. Ellie was my favorite.

As far as DLC goes, the first one is a mystery so I ended up doing most of the side-quests, really trying to get the details and that's kind of the thing. There's a lot of lore and stuff to read but I don't normally read them. There's crafting and modification, skill trees, a cool time slow power, stores and different things like that but I didn't really end up using them, I'm not normally one to flock to those and mainly try to streamline my experience until those elements are necessary and for people like me that hoard and love collecting, you'll have no problem. I needed money on the Groundbreaker but only because I didn't realize that bits were currency, once I learned that, I never needed money again, I was rich yet I never really went to any stores or vending machines, I never needed to, I collected enough ammo and there were consistent guns just lying around that would outclass what I had so I never fell behind either. I played on Normal difficulty and I don't think it was baby level but I was comfortable with what I had, I did worked to ration and do things more with dialogue but from time to time I'd take the wild route. While I compared it to Fallout, the combat is a lot more satisfying, there isn't a body part mechanic but it's comparable enough to just shoot where you mean to and that part will explode.

Back to the DLC, which are good lengths, for the one there was a hotel and it had several islands, I could spend about an hour per island give or take. I wanted to get to level 25 for the other DLC so during the time period, I gained around 13 levels (should that mean anything) which was well past my goal so those DLC give you a ton of exp. Should you keep to the main quest, (this goes for the main game as well) you're missing out on a whole lot and can barely be considered the experience. It all interweaves and some are character quests, improving relationships and such. I saw a little faction action but I still haven't found a game that does it like Skyrim. Maybe it's because I was more aligned as a scoundrel than corporate but it does good to give you the option to play however you want and gives you more reason to go back and replay should you want to see other outcomes. That can inspire you to wait for the DLCs until just about before you finish the game.

But you have the power to obliterate just about any NPC so that's crazy. I heard something along the grapevine when this game was first getting popular about how it was short and I saw the runtime and kind of tsked at them because it's not really a short game, it's just a regular sized game, I'd rather it be packed short than bloated long even for an RPG but as I moved on, I realized just what they were talking about. You see, you visit (most) of the planets but you more or less choose how long to stay on them and what you do, you can B-line the main story and be done rather quickly, imagine going to Ganon first thing in BOTW. I had paced myself not even knowing this and ended up spending 25 and a half hours all said and told but I found that shortly after I did that first DLC, I did like 2 or 3 quests and it was time for the final one.

I had done the character quests but it never really felt like 'oh, this will contribute to me later on' it was just another fun romp. There's an absurdity of options which is right up my alley so there are a lot of consequences and payoffs to help you fight later and stuff but not as much for the companions.

While having different characters in your party allows for different banter, and I loved the characters I had met, I felt like they weren't really given their time to shine in the regular quests? Having one may help you excel at a specific attribute but it's still 'you' doing it and a lot of the time, I had already upgraded my stats in that field well enough to do whatever I wanted for the quest I was on, armor also improves these so they almost seemed reduced to companions like Lydia in Skyrim in the main story. Yeah, she's there and she helps you fight and sometimes you can see characters butt heads like with the Iconoclasts and Sublight but because I was the one manipulating it, it wasn't like I just tripped on a plot or anything, I engaged it.

Maybe because they're all 'recruitable' and it gives you the option to not even take anybody but even with Mass Effect, certain ones were optional but you had a base of ones that were there no matter what, I don't know how to feel because yeah, I'm the big bad hero of the story and I'm impressing my friends but if I'm not doing it with them then is it really that cool? I'd never had to think about that with a game before because more freedom=better right?

As far as the ending, it's one of those cheesy knockoff ones where they show a slideshow "because of your actions, this happened." blah blah blah, it also includes the DLC which is why I said to play it "right before". So great fun but you start to see some cracks.

[ratralsis]

Brief update

I haven't written anything long in a while because I haven't had a ton of time.

My latest writing class ended a few weeks ago. The course report I filled out wound up hurting my tutor's feelings so much that, even after I wrote multiple emails apologizing, she didn't want to continue tutoring me in the next class. I didn't think anything I wrote in the report would surprise her, but I was wrong.

It's what I get for trying to be honest. I wound up saying at the end of my apology email that they should either ask me for my feedback more often than one time at the end of the course, to avoid being surprised like that again, or not ask for it at all. I'll do the work either way.

Writing classes are hard work. I don't view them as supposed to be fun. I can write for fun on my own time. And I do. You have no idea how much I cracked myself up writing last month that showing a non-gamer a photo of Squall from FF8 would literally kill them, and that the UN is actually an organization devoted to wiping FF8 from the Earth. That's fucking hilarious to me, man. Love that shit. Didn't get a single note. Most of what I write doesn't. Doesn't bother me. It did bother me when that Doctor Worm story didn't get any notes. I've said that before, but it does still bug me a little. That was a good fucking story, and I don't care who says it isn't.

My cat, Tina, nearly died of some kind of nasal blockage or respiratory infection. For $65, she got a quick exam from a vet and some amoxicillin, and now, nine days after starting that (and with a couple of days left of the stuff to go), she seems much better. But she hasn't jumped or run to play with the cat toy in over a month. I think that her new normal will never be as good as it was even three months ago. That's life. The vet she's "doing great for her age." Her age is 89 in cat years. "Alive" is great. "Typical for her age" would be dead. It's like if you went to the gym and saw an 89-year-old woman walking on a treadmill going 3 miles per hour. "Wow," you'd say. "A twenty-minute mile? That's great for her age." But that's because most people who were born 89 years ago can't walk at all, because they're fucking dead. So are most cats who were born 18 years and three months ago, so, yes, Tina is doing great for her age.

I discovered a small leak in the roof of my garage this afternoon. I called my home insurance company and will hopefully have someone able to give me an estimate on what it will take to fix it soon so that I can determine if I need to make a claim or not. There have been multiple bad storms where I live recently, just like there have been literally everywhere on the continental US recently. Where I live has been pretty mild, comparatively.

I'm hoping it won't cost more than a couple thousand dollars to fix. I can afford that much, though it will hurt, a lot. I've been saving like crazy all year, and that will undo much of that saving, but it won't even put me as low as I was last year when I was literally begging for money on the internet.

It's been over two months since I said on my Animal Crossing blog that I would post my photos from Leap Day and the few days before it. I haven't done that yet, and that really does upset me. I try hard to be a man of my word.

I'm not talented. I'm not charismatic. I have very few innate abilities. There's only one thing I know how to do, and that's put in the work. I updated that Animal Crossing blog every day for nearly a decade, so believe when I say that 1) I know a fucking thing or two about a work ethic, and 2) I'm sorry I haven't posted those photos yet. It's been difficult to do much writing lately that isn't for my novel.

I had to throw away everything I'd been working on on the latest draft about three months into my last class. I'm still working on catching up. I have sixty days before the next class starts. I have ten chapters left to write before I can call this draft done. Can I do it? Of course I can. Who the fuck do you think I am?

But it means I don't have a ton of time to write for fun, or watch TV for fun, or play video games for fun, or anything for fun. Every night, after dinner, it's an hour of writing, at least.

It's not supposed to be fun. Even chess grandmasters, the ones who love the game so much that they become the best in the world, don't get that good by playing casually. They work at it. The only way to get to that kind of level is to work at it.

There's no such thing as good enough. There's better than the last thing, which is always possible, and there's perfection, which never is. That's all there is.

I'll be better later. Probably. I don't like to complain, so I try very hard to do it very rarely, but sometimes I go so long without saying anything at all that I think even complaining might be better than nothing.

Let me know if I'm wrong.

Let me know if I'm right.

Let me know anything at all. I don't like screaming into the void like this, but I sure have been doing it for over twenty years, haven't I.

[ramblingstonobody]

Cheers and Hiccups - May 7, 2023

I'm feeling incredibly proud of myself. Here's a beautiful list of why:

I'm signing my second publishing deal tomorrow at 10am. I'm so proud of myself for this one. The positives waves signing this will have on my life are going to be amazing.

I felt banging in a swim suit the other day - ass included. I don't know if I've ever looked in the mirror and actually liked the way my ass looked in a swim suit, so this was pretty cool. I think I'm just generally being nicer to myself and my body lately, and I think I literally look fitter as a result.

Tomorrow is 2 weeks of no drinking. There have been a couple of moments where I thought, "You could just have one..." but I'm really glad I've stuck with it. Curious to see how long I hold out. Currently have no real desire to drink aside from the social confidence it can give me. But I'll figure that out. It's a cool experiment to go out sober honestly.

I'm moving my body more consistently than I ever have I think. The whole not going two days in a row without moving has been a really helpful rule of thumb. If I don't work out one day, I plan my next day around getting movement in. I also have done evening workout a few times since I started this which I would normally never do. Love an occasional sunset hike or night run to mix things up.

Since starting Prozac, I truly haven't spiraled once. I'm feeling more in control of my emotions and my responses to life. I'll get upset about things, sure, but I truly never let it completely take me over the way that I always used to. It's like...I just know that the feeling will pass. That the moment will pass. That it'll all settle again eventually. So I can take this time to freak the fuck out - or I can feel the feeling and then start walking back towards center.

I've been snacking less and drinking more water. I went a little crazy there for a second ordering a bunch of candy and snacks and stuff. Honestly, I still ordered myself a slurpie and a gatorade last night. Also ate a bag of popcorn - but I actually don't feel too bad about popcorn as a snack. I think I could eat that everyday if I wanted. But while I was home, I made my Florence Omelet (yes, I just named it that), those chicken tacos and salmon with broccoli.

I've been taking my vitamins everyday for almost three weeks. My vitamins really are just my multivitamin, my Prozac and my hair and nails gummies. But then I also do my Meta-C with it. I'd like to add lion's mane in there. Maybe it would be worth getting a fish oil pill or something? Magnesium? Maybe I should do some research. Anyway, I'm fucking doing it. I'm taking my vitamins everyday like an adult. And it feels really good and makes me really proud.

I started a 7 day pilates challenge today, tried to lift Missy's 10lb weights for a bit, listened to a Daily Jay AND started a 7 day meditation course on the Calm app. I be tryin' some new shit! Realized I'd gotten charged for Calm and decided to just give it a go. It was really relaxing. Did the Jay one first and I actually really loved the message. Talked about fitting in vs belonging. I can really relate to that lately. Felt good to compare those different dispositions over the last couple weeks in different scenarios and being able to feel how much better it feels to simple be and belong and not have to try to change yourself to be whatever everyone else might want or need you to be. The pilates video was great. I actually really liked it. The instructor in the video is TINY and ripped, and I did find myself wishing I looked more like her, but you know what I also did? I thought, "I wouldn't want to be that skinny. Honestly. I like that I have an ass and a little meat on my bones." And that felt cool.

I bought a shit ton of fruit today for about 20 bucks. Ricky said last night that I should try snacking on fruit as a candy substitute, so I went and got some apples, bananas, sumo citrus & a big pack of little sweet plums. I could easily eat all of this in the next couple days, but I bet it could last me through to the weekend.

I actively tried to reach out to those two apartments today. I sent a handful of requests on Apartments.com, called the numbers, one of em twice, signed up for the text service, and then literally drove to them to try to get to the front office and talk to a real person. Granted - I wasn't able to get a hold of anyone haha. But I've now ruled those two out and am that much closer to finding my next home.

Here are a couple things I'm struggling with and would like to work through:

My skin is pretty angry right now. I know it's got to be from all of the candy I was eating. My period feels like an obvious culprit as well. Plus, I was in a different state, getting proper sun on my face for a few days. All this to say, all will be well. My skin will clear up. I've been drinking water like crazy and eating a lot healthier. I'm gonna add this to my list of things I'm proud of myself for.

I'm a little anxious about finding an apartment... But honestly, that's normal. Anyone who was in between homes would be stressed. And that's a common thing. You're going to find an apartment. You're going to be able to afford it. It's going to be fucking magical. She's somewhere out there right now waiting for me. The thing I kind of want to talk through more is the fact that most place require you to make three times the rent each month and that won't be possible for me. They'll also want paychecks for a few months back and I won't be able to provide that. But you know what, I'd just keep walking forward. I'd just call someone up and explain my situation and take the steps I need to take to get the answer I desire. All will be well.

Should I try to room with a couple girls? I'm honestly just not sure on this one. I don't want to, but if it was cheaper and easier to get approved, I could be open to it. I'd just need to not be afraid to make it my space too.

[dudeshusband]

Title: Dr. Chase and Dr. Chase

Ship: Mike x Robert Chase

Words: 707

Description: Surprise! We're married now. Thank @serialexperimencelain for that lol.

Warnings: none

The first wedding Mike ever went to was their own. It was a private and simple event. Neither one had many people to invite. Only the couple, their coworkers, their bosses, and the dates their coworkers and bosses had decided to bring were there.

Their attire was only one step up from the business casual worn at work. Mike had put a blazer over a white dress shirt and black slacks. They had also picked out Chase's outfit, a crisp blue suit. Mike felt he looked his best in blue.

The group stood around the Justice of the Peace as he read a secular version of the usual marriage vows. Mike had also prepared vows in their own words, in the form of a poem. They shook slightly as they read off lines that compared their love for him to life's truest treasures.

Cameron was the most openly emotional person in the room as they read it. Everyone else used varying methods to hide their emotions. Chase had to turn toward the back wall to hide how soft he was.

Chase wasn't much of a writer but the vows he prepared made Mike cry anyway. Even then, at their own wedding, Mike still felt amazed someone like him would be in love with them.

When it was time for one to kiss the other, Mike surprised everyone by dipping Chase into a low kiss. They were sure that was the most flustered they ever saw him.

Their few guests clapped and they all went their separate ways.

The couple had decided that dinner on their wedding night would be only the two of them. They went to a restaurant nicer than the ones they normally went to.

Even on their wedding night, Mike didn't drink. Instead, they clinked a glass of tea against their husband's glass of champagne.

“This is crazy,” Mike said suddenly.

Chase looked amused. “Eating dinner together?”

“No, you dork, being married.”

“Yeah. It is,” he agreed.

Mike fiddled with the silver wedding band on their finger. “I never wear jewelry but I'll be wearing this until I die.”

“Or I do.”

“Well, I better die first then because I'm not taking this off.”

“I think we should change the subject,” Mike said quickly.

The waiter brought the couple's second basket of bread.

Mike immediately went to town.

“That's way too much bread,” Chase said.

Mike shrugged. “I like free bread. Then I'll have leftovers from dinner.”

After their entrees arrived they talked about varying things until Mike's mind went back to the wild concept of being married to the man across from them.

“We're both Dr. Chase now,” Mike said. “Then there was your dad. That's three Dr. Chases in the same family.”

“Imagine our mail,” Mike continued.

“Our mail?” Chase asked amusedly.

“If they sent something to us it'd be to Dr. and Dr. Chase. It'd look like a typo.”

“You really think it's that funny?”

“It's a little funny,” Mike said.

They split the bill and left the restaurant.

“I never thought I'd get married,” Chase admitted on the way home.

“I hoped I would,” Mike said. “But I didn't think it'd be to someone as wonderful as you.”

“Wonderful,” Chase repeated. “That's new.”

“Well, you are. To me anyway.”

“Can I ask you a stupid question?” Chase asked when they arrived back at their apartment.

“Sure.”

“Do you want me to carry you over the threshold?”

Mike snorted. “Are you expecting evil spirits?”

“What?”

“Old tradition says newly married couples are susceptible to evil spirits so the husband would carry the wife over the threshold to protect her.”

“You don't want me to carry you?” Chase asked.

“Can you?”

“I'm pretty sure, yeah,” he replied.

Mike sighed dramatically, “Lift me over the evil spirits with your strong manly arms.”

Chase snorted and took Mike into his arms and carried them into the apartment.

Mike wiped down their pants when he let them down. “Did I get any evil spirits on me?”

“I think you have one right there,” he said, brushing their hair out of their face.

“Did I?” Mike asked. “Or was that an excuse to get close to me.

Instead of answering, he leaned in for a kiss.

tag list: @lysandthunder @cozyships @prophetshusband @pucksfictionallovelife @holy-heck-i-love-my-fo @wolffangwife @bee-ships @glitched-ships @jellyfish-ships lmk if you want to be added (or removed)

[yunho-es]

Member/s: Jongin(EXO)

Genre:NSFW, Vampire!Kai

Warnings: mentions of blood, swearing, NSFW content

Words: 2348

I made a little moodboard for this oneshot 😊

I could almost hear my blood flow through my veins as I moved through the dark hallways. I had taken my shoes off so I make less noise, so now I'm roaming the dark castle completely barefoot. An amateurish move, but that was the only thing I could think of. I stopped in my tracks when I felt a cold breeze on my left side.

My heart sunk in fear and I found myself gulping and getting ready to run. I was lost, so there was no way I was turning around: going forward was the only way. I had promised myself that if I got out alive, I'd kill my colleagues. I wasn't one of the best investigators like them, they had just transferred me last week to a higher level. They used me as a bait to see how safe the castle is.

When I felt the cold breeze on my right side, I dropped my sneakers on the floor and started running for life. He's here. He exists. And he may not be as merciful as his crazy fangirls describe him. I want to keep my blood inside me and my neck clean from any bites.

I sighed in relief when I found a stairway that led down to what seemed like the garden. Hopefully, it's not a graveyard. Just as my hand reached for the fence, a firm, cold hand grabbed my wrist and I found myself screaming uncontrollably. I closed my eyes almost shaking in fear. The cold breeze was everywhere around me and the hand was still on my wrist. Soon I feel the other one on my mouth, muffling my ear piercing screams.

"Quiet."

The voice was husky and made me obey him. Before I could say anything else, I felt a strong pain on the back of my head and I found myself falling into his cold arms.

***

I was awoken by a loud slamming that sounded like a window being shut. I could hear the wind, but I couldn't see anything. When I had troubles to open my eyes, I realised I was blindfolded. That son of a b*tch blindfolded me. I tried moving my arms, but they were tied by a soft, silky material. I couldn't feel any pain, so I guessed he hadn't done anything to me.

"Feeling comfortable?", the voice spoke.

"Untie me. Now.", I demanded.

"No.", I shivered as I felt a breath near my ear. "Who sent the little girl to a dangerous castle at night?"

"That's my job."

"Your job is to break into homes? What did you even plan to do, stupid girl? Go inside, check if I'm real, then quickly go outside? Maybe snap a few pictures?" The blindfold was roughly taken off of my eyes and I immediately closed them. I wasn't ready for whatever was in front of me. "You can't even look at me. I don't understand. Are you really stupid or did someone make you do this?"

"I'm not stupid. I'm just trying my best and-"

"Look at me.", the husky voice interrupted me. "Open your eyes, dolly. You came to play, now let's play. Open them."

He quickly went from playful to serious and it scared me to death. I was squirming on the soft mattress, as if I really had a way out of this. Then, I felt his cold fingers wrap around my neck and I gasped. That's it. I'm going to die.

"You smell very nice. You look enchanting, so ready to be my sweet treat. So ready to die."

For a second I thought I stopped breathing. His movements were slow and I knew I could expect anything from him. "No, please-"

"Quiet."

My soul almost left my body when I felt a warm, wet tongue brushing against my neck, from my collarbone to my jaw. I heard low humming as he pulled away and I finally allowed myself to open my eyes.

I was greeted with dark, red eyes and a smirk. I was laying on a big bed with red sheets and the man in front of me had both of his legs on my sides, trapping me between them. He was on his knees, his hands on the sides of my head. "Hello." I thought of screaming again, but it would just make him angry. Who knows where he'd tie me up next? A dungeon maybe?

My eyes were staring back at his as I tried to breathe as normal as I could. His body was almost pressing against mine, but he supported himself with his hands on the mattress. "Please, let me go.", I begged. The brown haired man smirked at my words and licked his lips slowly.

"I let go everyone who enters. It's no fun anymore, don't you think?", he whispered. His nose was almost touching mine and I could feel his soft hair brushing against my forehead. "I'm sorry to inform you, but you're staying here for now. I can't let go a prey like this. Unused. Fresh. Perfect."

I could almost feel my heart jumping out of my chest. This was too much for me. I could end up dead in a second, so I tried my best to be nice towards him. "What do you want from me?", I asked, trying to find a way to get out of here.

"I don't want anything from you, I want you. I want to use the best I can from you. It would be a tragedy to let you go, stupid girl."

I watched as he took the soft material in his hands again and put it back on my eyes. "What kind of sick games do you plan to play?"

"Do not worry. You're going to love it. But not now. Tomorrow, dolly."

The shadow above me disappeared, just like the coldness that followed him everywhere. "Where are you going?"

"Good night.", he didn't answer my question. The room went dark and the door shut behind him. And he left me there, on a big bed with soft sheets, tied up and blindfolded. It was going to be an amazing night.

***

I managed to fall asleep after what seemed like hours of squirming. The room was still dark, so I assumed he had kept his windows closed. I figured it was because of the fact that he was a vampire, but they had advanced and our recent studies showed that they aren't what they used to be. Except two things: manipulative and filthy rich. They kept their old way of living in castles and dressing in dark clothes. All I could see last night were his dark hair and dark red eyes. I couldn't find the strength to look away, his eyes were too mesmerizing. The bastard had locked me inside and God knew when he would let me go. If he ever planned on letting me go, of course.

I tried to free myself one more time, and to my surprise, my hands were untied. Hurriedly, I took off the blindfold from my eyes and gasped. The room was big, covered in paintings and wooden furniture. I was now sitting on a big bed, covered with black and red sheets. They were silky and soft and I had a feeling that I would slip on the floor any second.

"Good morning, little bird."

My head turned towards the door. He was slowly walking towards me with a smirk on his face. His lips were matching is red eyes and his hair was slicked up, a few strands falling in front of his eyes. "F*ck you.", I hissed at him. I couldn't find the strenght to move, so I just sat there, waiting for his next words.

"F*ck me? Is that what you want? I could make that wish come true."

His hand pressed against my chest and pushed me to lay back on the bed. I found myself in the same position as last night, with him above me again. "I-Is that blood?", I gulped staring down at the red liquid on his bottom lip. A laugh escapes his mouth and he slowly licks the remaining drops of blood from his lips.

"I guess I could say your colleagues were tasty.", he smirked.

I wasn't sad. That's what they deserved for letting the youngest one go. The way things went, I thought I might join them very soon. "So you had your breakfast. Why do you need me?" I couldn't help but admit that he was a big refreshing, compared to all the old vampires I've encountered until now. He was extremely good looking and his smirk, whether I liked it or not, shot me right in the stomach. I always pitied women who threw themselves on his kind, just because some of them were handsome and gave off a big dominant energy. But right now, I'm starting to question myself.

"Oh, we're going to have so much fun. I bet nobody ever pleased you they way they should have. Have you ever been pleased at all, dolly?", his hands reached towards the bedframe again and I mentally groaned when I saw the silk laces. I gulped as he took both of my hands and tied them up, completely leaving me in his hands again. "Have you?", he repeated.

"No.", I whispered. I had never been pleased by anyone, just myself a few times. It felt good, but my small hands couldn't do the perfect job.

"I will show you, little bird. As much as I want to watch your lips take in my c*ck, I think it's fair if I show you true pleasure this time. That's what you deserve after being trapped here all night, don't you think?"

I shivered as his cold fingers brushed against my skin while taking off my sweatshirt. He licked his lips one more time and looked at me. All my clothes were soon laying on the cold floor and all I could do was stare at him and his movements. I'd lie if I said that I didn't enjoy his next one: his hands unbuttoned his white, long sleeved shirt and revealed his muscular body. He rolled his sleeves up and placed his hands on my waist.

"Now, darling. I need to know how good I'm doing my job, alright? So you will say my name. Say it as loud as you want.", the brown haired boy brought his lips close to mine, almost touching them, "Kai. Say it."

His soft lips brushed against mine as he spoke, almost making me faint. "Kai.", I whispered into his mouth.

"Good girl."

His lips left mine and he pressed them on my neck. His tongue left a wet trace and he stopped when he reached my breasts. I let out a gasp when I felt a cold hand grabbing my breast, carefully playing with it, while the other one still layed on my waist. The pleasure was building up at the bottom of my stomach with every single movement he did on my breasts and I found myself sighing in pleasure. The pleasure stopped too soon. He brought his tongue back to my skin and left traces until he reached my lower stomach.

"Don't worry. You're going to beg for more.", as soon as he said that, Kai pressed his cold fingers on my warm sensitive skin, sliding them between my folds.

"Oh-"

"My name, little bird. Say my name.", he was enjoying every second of it. He kept rubbing my clit softly, earning quiet moans from me. "Or am I not doing a good job?"

His fingers sped up and now I found myself moaning louder, internally begging for more. The feeling was so much better than when I did it. He knew exactly what to do. "More, please.", I managed to beg.

I watched him as he lowered his head with a smirk and moved his fingers. He looked up at me once again, then spread my folds with his two fingers before sticking his tongue out. I tugged at the silk laces as he slowly licked me up and down, taking his time.

"Kai-", I breathed out and threw my head back. My body was completely relaxed in his hands and pleasure was starting to build up in my stomach again.

"Beautiful.", he whispered against my clit, then sped up his movements. His other hand joined his tongue, earning much louder moans and gasps from me. The ball of pleasure kept growing, and his tongue worked harder against me. Kai occasionally let out a few hums, pleased with my noises. "So wet and needy, stupid girl." At this point, I didn't mind him calling me that. It even made me whimper, causing him to laugh. The wet sounds he was making made everything hotter. I couldn't believe how good a person can feel. He looked so focused and pleased with his impact he had on me. "Come on, baby. Finish for me. Show me how good I make you feel."

He pulled away from me, but his fingers kept working. His pace got quicker and messier, showing no mercy to my sensitive clit. Luckily, my wetness made it easier for him to move and better for me to feel. Suddenly, a big wave of pleasure washed over my body. I let go of the laces gasping for air. My lips called out his name a few more times in a whisper.

"Good girl.", he repeated, untying my hands. My body was tired and helpless, so I just layed there in front of him, waiting for his next step. "If you wish to investigate again, I will be here. A rookie like you never gets enough of games like this."

He was right. Even though I layed there still tired, my mind was replaying all the moments which had happened just a few minutes ago. I knew I was going to come back again.

[saurons-pr-department]

If Mairon and Melkor existed in a modern AU, what do you think would be their respective professions, or majors in a college AU? What are your thoughts on their student / working life or role in the university / workplace community? Does Melkor throw crazy parties? Is Mairon a huge nerd? I'd love to hear your thoughts! You can also include other related characters (e.g. Celebrimbor, Gothmog, Thuringwethil, Manwe...)

Oooo, very interesting!

This got a little long, so I put it under a cut.

Mairon: 

- School/profession: There’s a couple of directions I could see his interests going in a modern AU. I could see him taking an interest in something like engineering. I could see him become a gold or silver smith and work in making jewellery (along with maybe having a knowledge of gemstones). I could even see him taking an interest in psychology or psychiatry. He’s just one of those people who wants to know how things work and how to make them work better, as well as having an affinity for things that can be obtained from the Earth. He would definitely become quite specialised and skilled in whatever field he chose. The ones I’ve listed are the ones that I think would be most likely for him.

- Community role: I would imagine Mairon would be one of those people that somehow manage to be simultaneously aloof and very clued in to everything going on. He seems to know who everyone is and everyone seems to know who he is and yet...he doesn’t exactly have the massive pool of friends you’d expect from someone so well known. He’s not shy though, as anyone who’s been unlucky enough to be put into a group with him for a project will tell you. He has zero qualms about taking charge of a group and seems to really enjoy bossing everyone around. You’re going to get a good grade with him in charge of your group, but no one is going to have any fun doing it. Yes, he does think everyone else is an idiot. Yes, he will say it to their face. Though, he can turn on the charm when it suits him.

- I wouldn’t consider Mairon a huge nerd. He knows a lot, he enjoys learning, and yet there’s something decidedly un-nerdy about him. You know those people who are infuriatingly good at school without even trying? Yeah. He’s one of those. He does value that knowledge though. He’s quite proud of his book-smarts. 

- Ooooo! If he’s still a smith it could be really interesting to see Celebrimbor be a competitor on the jewellery-making market and Maeglin might work for Mairon. (No, Sorcha, do not add this to your fanfic to-do list! Bold!) It could make for some good rivals to friends/rivals to lovers material?

- Thuringwethil is his best friend! I don’t know why, but I’m fully convinced that in a modern AU she would own a small, independent bookshop with a cat. I feel like it would be a particularly good place to find stuff nature magic kind of stuff. It’s a mysterious little place and no one really knows how she keeps it open. Maybe it really is magic..?

- Mairon likes hanging out there with her. She shares his passion for all the animals people normally label “scary”.

Melkor:

- School/profession: I could see him being interested in something like zoology. (crack idea: he works in a light fixtures shop so he can be surrounded by light all the time XD). Maybe he goes on to care for the crocodiles or big cats or something after college? Oooo, ooo, ooo, or maybe he works in the reptile house at the zoo?! Tarantulas? (on second thought...maybe not the tarantulas... XD)

- Community role: Like Mairon, I could see him as the kind to know, and be known by, everyone. Unlike Mairon, I could see him being a bit more...popular? That might be the wrong word for it, but he’s less aloof. Mairon is more like a concept. You know him, but you can’t put your finger on how... whereas, you remember your first encounter with Melkor. He has a much bigger personality and isn’t as immediately dislikable (though he really has a knack for rubbing people up the wrong way and can be quick to dislike other people).

- Manwe is his twin brother who went into the family business and fits in with the rest of the family more. Manwe actually really likes Melkor and admires the fact that he followed his own interests. Melkor is sick of other people comparing him to Manwe. The relationship can be somewhat tense...

- Gothmog is an old buddy from school. The two liked to cause problems on purpose when they were together XD

Angbang:

- Mairon and Melkor meet when Mairon and Thuringwethil take a trip to the zoo and happen to be there when Melkor is feeding one of the above mentioned animals (I still haven’t decided). Melkor sees that the two look interested and asks if they have any questions. Of course Mairon goes on about all that he already knows. Arrogant as the response is, Melkor is genuinely impressed with Mairon’s knowledge. Normally when people say they know things about the animals they really, really don’t. Thuringwethil notices that the two are getting on and wanders off to the side a bit to let them chat. When it’s time for Melkor to move on to other duties, Thuringwethil also notices that he heads back the way that they themselves had just come. Of course, she then “suddenly realises” that she left something behind at that bench they took a rest on. She tells Mairon to go on ahead and she’ll catch up in a minute. Once Mairon is out of sight, she wanders up to Melkor and gives him Mairon’s number.

- Initially, Mairon is pissed that she gave his phone number to a random stranger (understandable).

- It takes Melkor about a week to work up the courage to call or text.

- Yes, they do end up having a zoo date.

[blazehedgehog]

Can you imagine a scenario where Epic screws up Fortnite so badly that you stop playing it? Barring external factors (like LIFE, or another game naturally taking its place at your table) what would they have to do to bungle the game so hard that you uninstall and stop playing?

Primal (Chapter 2, Season 6) was pretty close.

All throughout Chapter 2, Fortnite has been adding more and more RPG mechanics. Creature mobs, quests, currency, NPCs, the works. Primal finally bit the bullet and added a crafting system.

The most prominent guns you'd find were super weak "makeshift" guns that were all busted. They had trash accuracy and did very little damage. You had to go gather materials to fix up "makeshift" guns in to something better. You had two upgrade paths:

Use animal bones to turn makeshift guns in to Primal guns, which were burst fire, but had crazy wide bullet spread. Or, use nuts and bolts to turn makeshift guns in to mechanical guns, which were the normal suite of Fortnite weapons and usually favored accuracy (comparatively, at least).

The problem: Fortnite loves their shotguns. Epic loves their shotguns. If you went the Primal route, a Makeshift Shotgun converted to a Primal Shotgun, which fired two slugs at once in rapid succession and erased anyone that was within ten feet of you. If you went Mechanical, you got the most popular Fortnite shotgun of all time: the Pump Shotgun.

Why is it popular? Because a good, clean shot with the pump does 170 damage, when the maximum health you can have is 200. If your target was anything less than full on health and shields, a pump shotgun would kill anyone in just a single blast. Because, generally, there are "tiers" of health:

You start with 100 health by default, and healing items generally come in either large or small. Small healing items have caps on how much they'll heal you. Bandages heal you up to 75hp, and small shield potions heal you up to 50 shield. Meaning the most common health states are:

Fully Bandaged: 75hp total

Default Health: 100hp total

2 small shield and bandaged: 125hp total (75 health, 50 shield)

Default health and 2 small shield: 150hp total (100 health, 50 shield)

Default health and 2 big shield potions: 200hp total (100 health, 100 shield)

Of the five states, 125 and 150hp are the most common. This means that on average, anyone with a pump shotgun can kill most players in one well-aimed shot. They tried to balance this out with the "pump" action itself -- after every shot, you have to rack the gun, meaning that if you miss, there's a non-trivial pause before you can fire again. But Fortnite is not exactly a game with footsies, so if they miss you the first time, chances are they won't miss twice. Plus, if you have two pump shotguns, you can just swap back and forth between them and skip the pumping animation.

And since this was Primal, "makeshift" shotguns were everywhere. It wasn't hard to have two pumps at once, it just took time.

Gathering materials was awful. In a game where you want to be ready to shoot within five seconds of hitting the ground, it made you vulnerable for up to a full minute while you scrounged up what you needed to make any gun worth using. It made tournaments in to a nightmare, because tournament players would have to settle for makeshift guns that were borderline unusable.

Those who engaged with the crafting system turned it in to a race to see who could craft a shotgun first, and they often dominated the rest of the players in a match.

It was a disaster. The worst season Fortnite I've ever been a player of. And this was after two or three seasons that were what I would describe as "lackluster." Adding currency, NPCs and roaming enemy mobs really screwed with the pacing of matches, where you'd have these long stretches during mid where you wouldn't see any other players for 5-10 minutes. And then Epic introduces the Primal season, where there's so much pointless busywork you need to do that I'd often forget about basic things like staying in the circle, because I was focused on scavenging crafting mats or doing a bounty or taming animals or whatever. It was terrible, and it made me legitimately furious.

I know it may not seem like it to you, because you endure me talking about Fortnite in our Discord pretty much all day every day, but the amount of Fortnite I played went way down during Primal. I had been in the habit of doing ~5 Battle Royale matches a day, but when Primal started, I could only stand doing one or two before I'd get pissed off at the game and put it down. It was way too tedious and difficult to be enjoyable. It felt like Epic was trying to turn Fortnite into Rust or something.

The game must have shed tons of players during that season because Epic course-corrected hard in the second half of Primal. They nerfed the crafting system in to oblivion, rebalanced the loot distribution and weapon damage to help draw attention away from the pump, and turned it in to kind of a "best of" where they brought back tons of favorite guns from past seasons (the flare gun, combat shotgun, etc). They also started doing all of these events and things to "bring back lapsed players" as if to say "No, don't go, we fixed it!"

But if Primal ended the same way it started? That might have been my moment to tap out. But it didn't, and Primal was followed by one of the best seasons of Fortnite I've played: Season 7, Invasion. You could pilot UFOs, there were big cool rail guns, it was great. Epic seems to have learned a lesson and has kept things pretty normal since then.

[justsomefluff]

OMG I LOVED that reaction you did, and the scenario like thing was really good!! I loved it, thank you!! Can I request another reaction (mini-scenario)? Like ATEEZ confessing to their crush while they (ATEEZ) are drunk? (San said Yeo does aegyo/is cute when drunk I'd like to see this ^^)

This is so cute, I would pay good money to see them tipsy no lie lmao. also this is fluff and crack at the same time so...I hope you like it lmao

Hongjoong:

(^ he’d do this during a drunk confession you cant change my mind ^)

Okay so when he’s drunk I feel like he sees himself as being really composed and cool

but in reality... not so much

and, even if he hadn’t been planning on confessing to you

oh boy, his body starts shaking a lil and you’re low-key like... 911?

like his body is telling him to ABORT MISSION but once his drunk brain has made the decision there's no going back

So, in his mind, this is what he’s saying out loud okay

“Y/n, I just wanted to let you know that I have some serious feelings for you. I know you may not feel the same way, but I just needed to tell you.”

Super awesome, everyone wishes to be that composed right?

Well here’s what he really said:

“Listen here, you cute mother-, no I shouldn’t swear at you, my bad. I’m totally in love with you right? Watchu think bout dat?”

and then he’s quiet, and smiling bc he’s proud of himself and you’re just like um????

like that’s not how you imagined this would go

But you also know that he’s gonna be super embarrassed about this in the morning so you just say

“Let’s talk tomorrow, Joongie?”

and he smiles at the nickname and nods and kinda puts his head down

You honestly cant wait to tell him you feel the same when he’s sober

and make fun of him for getting wasted

Seonghwa:

so Seonghwa, unlike Joong, is actually pretty composed

like at first, he’s wildin’ and everything

but then he just calms down super fast

like so fast you get whiplash

and he just smiles at you and you’re like “...freak”

then he frowns and he’s like “I like to look at pretty things that make me smile”

“You make me smile too, Hwa” :)

then he just grabs you into a hug and starts swaying you guys side to side

like some awkward and forced middle school slow-dance 

“What are you doing?”

and he shushes you to preserve the moment but you're like “I want answers”

then he finally leans his head down and his lips are brushing the shell of your ear so softly you barely notice

“I think I love you”

he strikes me as the kind of person who wants to confess but also isn’t ever 100% sure he wants to confirm that he loves you so he throws that “I think” in there to cushion the blow if you reject him

but, luckily for him, you do feel the same

you just turn your head ever so slightly to the side and peck his temple

he smiles and rests his head on your shoulder and squeezes your hips before wrapping his arms around you completely

“I kinda need to hear you say it”

“I think I love you too, Hwa”

Yunho:

okay this big ole baby right

I feel like he’s the kind of drunk who is crazy for a little bit but gets tired really fast

so after like an hour of insanity, his eyes are drooping and you’ve settled on a couch (or seat, wherever your location might be)

and he smooshes his cheek into your thigh and you’re totally aware that he’s gonna fall asleep on you

but you’re cool with that, I mean who wouldn’t be

and after a couple minutes of silence, you think he’s knocked out completely

he suddenly turns his head to look up at you

and you look down at him to ask if he’s okay, or if he needs anything

he just starts laughing and then this IDIOT

pokes your double chin (bc I mean why does he have to look at you from that angle) and goes “How is it that I like you so much, even your double chin is cute?”

part of you is like “omg he likes me” and the other part of you is like “...im gonna slap him. don't talk about my double chin”

so, given your inner turmoil, you're silent for a minute and he starts to pout

“you don’t like my double chin?” and he makes a double chin and grabs your hand to make you poke it

“say you like my double chin too, please”

“Yunho, I like you too... double chin and all” (you had decided that you are not going to slap him after all)

and thats kind of the end of the night bc after that crackhead confession he actually falls asleep

but you are lucky enough that he remembers it all the next morning and it becomes kind of a thing in your relationship to make double chins at each other then say “I love you” 

Yeosang:

drunk Yeosang and aegyo here we go

whiny baby voice and big eyes and pouting all the way

like he’s not so much into doing the cutesy actions like finger hearts and stuff

but refers to himself as “Sangie” and talks about himself in third person too

CLINGY

not necessarily cuddly, but always has to be holding your hand or else he’ll cry

calls you pet names like Jagi and my love and stuff

and at first you’re like aw he’s a cute drunk and tease him a little bit

but then he pouts even harder and murmurs “I'm serious”

you’re like O.O

“you mean it? you really like me, Sangie?”

nods his head furiously like you seriously think he’s gonna get a concussion for about .5 seconds

like okay I get it, you mean it, please stop doing that your head is not a maraca

“I like you too”

cue the biggest, goofiest, toothiest grin you’ve ever seen

makes big ole fishy lips at you, and points at them to ask for a kiss

so you just give him a quick peck, bc you don't really want either of you to be drunk for your first real kiss

but that satisfies him for the time being :)

San:

Sannie best boy, I cannot stress that enough

the sweetest lil drunk okay

tries to take care of you even though he’s the drunk one

thirsty? he’s gonna get up and get you a glass of whatever you want even if he spills half of it trying to give it to you

hungry? he’ll get you some if you agree to share

so halfway through a tub of ice cream he decides to lay some truth on you okay

“I like my ice cream like I like you”

and you, of course, having seen that meme, respond with “ugly?” and you cackle at your own joke

but he’s so offended

“apologize to yourself and this ice cream”

“wtf? why?”

“because ice cream is the second most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen after you. apologize”

literally holds the tub of ice cream up to your face, and will literally carve a sad face into the ice cream to make you apologize quicker

and when you apologize he eats the sad face and draws a smile

sentimental cheeseball is all he is in that moment okay

“you really think I’m pretty?”

he looks at you like “...duh”

“I think you’re pretty too, Sannie” and he smiles so big :’)

and both of you know that this would be the start of a really happy relationship aww

Mingi:

I bet Mingi is the cutest drunk okay like if you thought he was a giant puppy before get ready you aint seen nothin yet

and you don't even get a warning before he confesses bc he says it so out of the blue

like his whole plan was to drink some liquid courage iykyk and then he was gonna confess

but he ended up getting a lil more tipsy than originally intended

and he just blurts it out and he’s stuttering and lisping and just struggling to get all the right words out

but you just think it’s super endearing

“Minnie, are you drunk?”

he starts blowing raspberries in the air and starts shaking his head “you think I’m drunk?” 

literally hiccuping after every word lmao

like yes, Mingi, I think you're drunk

still blowing incredulous raspberries all over the place

and you blow one on his cheek and he starts giggling like the baby he is

“why you do that”

“bc I like you too, Minnie! also you were starting to spit and I needed you to stop that”

he giggles and nods at you, just happy that you feel the same way

nuzzles his head into your shoulder and plays with your fingers for the rest of the time youre together

Wooyoung:

okay he’s a crackhead already so I don't even think alcohol would be something he’s even offered most of the time lmao

but when he is all hell breaks loose

no subtlety about his confession at all

like he literally screams it at you

he had been paying extra attention to you all night, which you didn't even notice bc you liked him too and never imagined he felt the same

so you’re like he so friendly and clingy when he’s drunk

but five minutes later he’s like “DID YOU KNOW IM IN LOVE WITH YOU”

and you’re so taken aback because

1.) he just screamed in your face

2.) he just screamed that in your face

and then he’s quiet and just staring at you, waiting for a response

you’re so dumbfounded that all you say is “you too”

but thats enough for him

“GOOD THATS AWESOME”

and thats basically the end of the conversation bc he gets easily distracted

you have to remind him the next day that that conversation had even happened actually

and he’s like “oh yeahhhhh”

then you’re able to actually talk about what you both feel and be almost normal for about ten minutes lmao

Jongho:

since he’s on the quieter side compared to the rest of the group, I think this shows even more when he’s been drinking

but it’s almost concerning how quiet he is

like if you had never seen him drunk before you’d probably be really worried

and that’s exactly what happened

you went to check on him to see why he wasn't joining in the fun and he looks at you, a little teary from the alcohol

or maybe he’s just deep in his feels who knows

we’ve all been there amiright

and he’s like “just like you a lot you know that?’

you’re like “I was most certainly unaware of that, sir”

and he apologizes??? like why???

“I like you too, doofus, why are you sorry”

then he smiles and means it for the first time that whole night

he feels like he could crack all of the apples in the world he’s so happy

side-note: he probably could break all them apples fr

so basically you just made him the happiest apple murderer in the world

he’ll break all the apples for you baby

[scarletemeterio-thesecond]

Hi I'd like to request a sokka x male reader we're the reader is avatar Kyoshi's twin but he was frozen at age 17 so an the only way for him to start ageing aging is if he finds true love also he always makes fun of sokkas height as he is like 7"0, and they meet because he was tophs body guard and ran away with her to join the team

okay but like this request is absolutely AMAZING, i loved it, hope i made it justice lol. i'm not really used to writing male reader but i did my best, i hope you like it!!

a/n: this is also kind of like that soulmate au where you start aging once you find your soulmate but at the same time not really cause it only applies to reader thanks to being frozen and all. kinda weird but let's just pretend it's possible and normal okay bye.

•••

Like a Soulmate (Sokka x Male!Reader)

Warnings: none i think

Genre: Fluff.

Fandom: Avatar The Last Airbender

Summary: See request

Word count: 2481

At first, you didn't understand anything at all. The last thing you remembered was being in a storm, and then one day a few years ago, you finally woke up out of nowhere when a ship collided against the iceberg you were trapped in. With time you adapted to the present, and somehow you ended up as Toph Beifong's bodyguard. Still, you constantly missed your sister and your old friends, and you wondered what happened to them.

Something that you'd noticed after a while of being back in the world, was that you always looked the same. You were still in your 17-year-old body, but ever since you got out of the ice, you looked _exactly_ the same. Your hair didn't grow at all, it seemed like you were trapped in that body. However, you never really thought much of it.

You'd been with Toph since she was nine years old, and you even helped her with her earthbending, and she became a good friend. So, of course, when the Avatar asked her to join him, you went with her. She trusted you, and you were practically her family, and she refused to go anywhere without you. 

Even though you were an earthbender, you never taught Aang, so you found yourself with a lot of free time, and you really bonded with everyone.

At first, seeing Aang was extremely weird. You were used to another Avatar, to one you shared everything with, but it was nice to still be with your sister in some type of way. He also really understood you and your feelings since he spent a lot of time trapped in an iceberg as well, and having him around whenever you felt sad was a big relief. But your new friends became your new family, and you were extremely thankful for them.

However, even though you cared a lot about them all, there was this one person that meant a lot to you for some reason. From the very beginning, Sokka was fascinated by you, mostly because you were extremely tall compared not only to him, but to everyone else, and when you told them your story, he just couldn't believe it. You were Kyoshi's actual twin brother, but somehow you were there with them. He felt this attraction towards you from the first moment he saw you and made it his mission to get to know you better.

What he didn't know, was that you were very intrigued by him, too. You didn't exactly know what it was, but there was _something_ about him that just made you want to be by his side all the time. And most of the time, you were. To be honest, you were starting to develop a little crush on him, and when you saw him with Suki at the Serpent's Pass, your heart broke a little bit, but you tried to hide it.

But when Sokka kissed Suki, he realized he didn't feel _that_ thing he felt whenever you were around. So while you still thought that he liked the girl, Sokka was confirming his feelings for you with every passing day.

You liked being his friend, though. You enjoyed his company so much that you would've conformed with just looking at him from afar, so even though you had feelings for him, it was enough for you to just be his friend; you thought that that was what he wanted anyway, so neither of you said anything for a while. (59) .

But things began to change after the whole situation in the catacombs. You'd managed to get ahold of a Fire Nation ship, and besides planning how to keep hiding, there wasn't much to do, so you guys got even closer. He loved training with you, and he actually didn't mind that you were a lot better at fighting than he was, because it let him admire you even more. 

Everything was going well until you discovered something. It was after one of your training sessions with Toph -she was trying to teach you how to metalbend- when you went to your room. You saw your reflection in the mirror and realized your hair was longer. At first, it wasn't so important to you, but then you remembered that your hair had never grown not even an inch ever since you got out of that iceberg. _What's happening? Is there something wrong with me? Am I going crazy? Is this something normal or should I be worried? _ Your mind was a whole mess, and you had to go sit in your bed due to the headache you were beginning to feel. You hugged your legs, hiding your face between them, and when Katara came in and saw you like that, she got worried.

"(Y/N)? Is everything okay?" You snapped out of your thoughts and saw her standing next to the door.

"I'm sorry, what?" You were a bit confused and lost.

"I knocked on the door a couple of times and when you didn't answer I came in. I thought you were asleep but turns out you're not," she commented. "And then I asked if you were okay."

"Oh. Uh, yeah, I'm fine."

"Are you sure? You seem a little... gone," she said. You let out a sigh and put both of your feet on the ground before laying back on your bed.

"I don't know, I'm very confused," you murmured.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"You may think it's stupid," you began saying. You made a little pause and she sat next to you. "But my hair is longer."

"Do you mean as in your hair grew?" You nodded at her words and she opened her eyes with surprise. "What? How? Why?" She sounded almost as surprised as you were.

"I don't know, and I'm not sure if I should be worried or something, but it's all very... new." She gave you an understanding look while she nodded. "Anyways, how's Aang?" You said, trying to distract yourself from your worries.

"He's still asleep, everything's pretty much the same," she replied.

"I wish I could do something to help him."

"We all do, (Y/N)."

•••

It had been a few days since that talk with Katara. During that time, you just couldn't stop thinking about your hair. You knew it seemed dumb but for some reason, you thought that there was more to it than just... a natural and normal thing.

You were forced to wear some Fire Nation clothes to blend in since you didn't want anyone to suspect from you. You never said it out loud, but seeing Sokka with his new outfit made you like him even more. On the other hand, he thought that you looked really good too, and when he told you, you couldn’t help but blush. 

"Hey, would you guys stop flirting with each other? We need to go!" Once you heard those words leave Toph’s mouth, you blushed even harder, and so did Sokka.

"We’re not- Ugh, come on, little one," you said to the boy next to you.

"Hey! Don’t call me like that!" You giggled at his response, you loved teasing him about how short he was. You grabbed him by the hand, making him walk faster.

You needed some food, so a few days later, some of you went into town. You were talking and joking, ready to go back when suddenly you spotted a fortune teller. You were with Toph and Sokka and practically forced them to go with you. There weren't many people, so it wasn't long for your turn. 

When the woman first saw you, she told you that she sensed a lot of history in your soul.

"Yeah, it kind of makes sense," you commented. "Maybe you'll be able to help me figure something out. I was... trapped in ice for many, many years and when I got out of there, I looked exactly the same. Now the thing is that my hair had never grown before ever since I was unfrozen, which was like three years ago, but a while ago I realized that it was longer." She listened to you, analyzing every word you were saying and once you were done, she opened her eyes, expressing her surprise.

"Do you like someone?" She blurted out of nowhere.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, is there someone you like as more than a friend, a lover?"

"Well, I don't know, maybe, but what does that have to do with my hair?" You asked confused.

"Your hair growing means that you're aging, young boy. You're not the first one that comes here with these concerns."

"Wait, I don't understand."

"There are some people in this world that grow up until a certain age, but then don't start aging until they find their true love," she explained. "No one knows why this happens, but it does."

"So, you're telling me that I... wow," you said. "How am I supposed to know who my "true love" is?" You gestured some quotes with your fingers, still not fully convinced.

"Deep down, you already know who it is," she said. With that, your session was officially over, and you walked out with even more questions than when you first entered.

"So, did she give you some magical answer?" Asked you Sokka once you were back with them.

"She kind of did," you mumbled.

"So, what did she say?" Toph questioned.

"Oh, nothing serious, guys. Let's go, we have to go back to the others." Toph looked at you, clearly knowing that you were lying but didn't say anything, reminding herself that she would question you later.

Once you were back, you put the food on the floor and suddenly you felt someone pulling you away from the rest of the group.

"What really happened with that fortune teller?" Said Toph once you were alone.

"What?" You asked a bit confused and also trying to avoid her.

"Come on, (Y/N). Don't play dumb."

You took a deep breath and turned your gaze to one side. "You know that my hair suddenly started growing? Well, apparently it means that I'm aging..." You said, finally giving up to her.

"Isn't that what you're supposed to do? Like, everyone does that, right?"

"I didn't, Toph! I got out of that iceberg looking like a 17-year-old, and I've looked like that for the last three years!" You sat down on the ground, still thinking about this newfound information.

"But wait, why is it so important?" She sat down next to you.

"The fortune-teller told me that it means I've found my true love," you mumbled. "And I guess it kind of makes sense, but at the same time I have no idea who this "true love" could be!"

"Whoa, I thought I was the blind one around here," said the girl. 

"What do you mean?"

"I mean it’s extremely obvious who this person is, (Y/N)." You looked at her with confusion in your eyes, not fully understanding what she was saying. Since she got no response, she let out a groan and kept talking. "I’m going to give you a clue, his name starts with an S and ends with -okka."

And when she said that, it hit you. You didn’t know if it was because of what you felt the first time you grabbed his hand when he helped you get on Appa; or if it was because of how you felt whenever you were around him; or if it was because when he wasn’t around, you couldn’t help but feel a little lost, but you knew she was right. 

"Oh, Toph, you’re right!" You exclaimed, grabbing her by her shoulders. "I have to tell him, right? Should I? What if he doesn’t feel the same way? Or what if-?"

"Just go tell him!" Said Toph, interrupting you. She took your hands off her shoulders and made you get up, and then she kept gesturing you to go.

When you were back with the group, you quickly asked Sokka if the two of you could talk in private, to which he said yes. 

"What did you want to talk about?" He asked.

You closed your eyes for a bit, trying to control your nerves. "So, the fortune-teller told me something… interesting."

"Oh, I thought you said it wasn’t anything important."

"I lied," you mumbled, almost interrupting him. "Anyways, you know that my hair started growing out of nowhere?"

"Yeah! I love the way it looks on you, you should leave it like that!"

"Thanks! Well, the thing is that it started growing because I started aging after like three years, and the reason behind that is that apparently, I found my true love, and I was confused so I didn’t say anything back in town, but then Toph dragged me away and asked me, and I told her and now I’m here talking to you because I think that you should know," you said, extremely fast because of how nervous you were. When you were done, you stood there, waiting for his response. He was still assimilating your words, which made you think that his reaction wouldn’t be good.

"Wait, so you found your true love? Like a soulmate?" He asked.

"Yeah, like a soulmate," you said. He stayed silent for a few more minutes.

Sokka was happy for you, but at the same time, he felt a little jealous. He wanted your true love, the reason you were so happy right now, the one that was meant to be with you. "Wow, that’s great, (Y/N)."

You felt a little sad after he said that, you thought that there was something between you two, but maybe you were wrong. "I thought you would be a little happier," you confessed.

"I am happy for you! Finding your soulmate seems like a big deal. Who is it?" You looked at him, thinking he was joking, but you could tell he was being serious.

"Wait, you’re really asking that?"

"Well, yes, it’s okay if you don’t want to tell me, I-."

"It’s you, dummy," you interrupted him. He opened his eyes with surprise, and looked at you, waiting for you to tell him that it was just a joke. "I’m serious, Sokka."

"Hold up, how do you know it’s me?"

"I know it because I’ve never felt more alive than when I’m with you," you said, getting closer to him. "And deep down, something tells me that you may feel the same way."

After hearing you say that, he quickly cupped your face, making you kneel down quite a bit, and kissed your lips. You wrapped your arms around him, wishing that you could stay like that forever. You pulled away and he looked at you in the eye. "You’re right, I do feel the same way."

•••

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@noodlesfluffy

[kyunsies]

Bilingual 🌻 anon here

I hope you're feeling better 💕

I think I tend to think too much in the future about a lot of things lol

Especially when it comes to having kids (ideally I'd want 3-5 but however many I have I want to love them very much and hope that they can confide in me with anything)

But I'm afraid of a lot of things especially bc of some traumas I've gone through (I won't go into detail I'll just leave it at that). I'm afraid of projecting that trauma on to them unintentionally (and I know what that's like) or belittling/diminishing their feelings by saying I've gone through worse (instead of listening to their kids and trying to understand them) and those things hurt a lot.

Especially when all you want from your parents is for them to understand you, you know?

I feel like those things are so scary, and then if it comes down to getting married and everything, I don't want a man that will belittle or diminish my feelings bc for sure I'll leave him in two seconds flat.

I feel like maybe that's why I feel like I'm emotionally stunted in that sense (of course therapy can help but it's a lot of money smh)

Sometimes, I feel like a black sheep bc the way I feel that the way I process things is different compared to the normal person (considering I have ADHD lol).............. it's so crazy how life experiences can really impact you immensely

I hope that wasn't too much ranting 😬

Sending you hugs 🤗❤

hi bubbie !! i hope u are having a nice day so far <3 if u don't mind, i'm not going to put my answer under a "read more" since i think this is actually really important to talk about (as a woman in her young 20s lol) so i'm going to roll up my sleeves and answer as much as i can <3

i think women think a lot about the future !! obviously everyone does no matter what stage they are in their life lol but i feel that u are someone like me in that i am running out of time for a lot of things .... do u feel this way too? i think about it all the time :( i have seen quite a few ppl say they don't want children and honestly i don't blame them !!! having children is a HUGE responsibility and it's daunting to think about !! some ppl want to adopt and i think that's a wonderful idea as well <3 some ppl just don't want children and would rather create a wholesome life for themselves, and i think that's perfectly fine too :) i will give u a little background: i have 3 aunts along with my mom, 2 of them have 3 children and the other aunt has 2 ... i basically raised 5 of them while the other 3 acted like my older siblings <3 i have been around children enough where i absolutely would love to have children of my own, to call my own ;____; and that's a choice !! i think anyone who wishes to take on a parent role will have these thoughts, and i think that's okay :') i often ask my mom "where u scared when u found out u were pregnant" and she said she was more happy than scared ..... but i honestly think that happiness only comes after the initial shock u know? she was so excited to see how her tummy grew each day and wondered how well i would be developing as her pregnancy went on ; i also think it's normal to feel like we will never be good enough as parents bc we will only want what's best for our bubs....... and although maybe u don't want to invalidate them, you will be able to steer them in the best direction possible bc of everything you have conquered right? this is just my thinking LOL ... we all have our traumas, some worse than others and we would never want that for our children so i think naturally you will steer ur children in the right direction <3

now in terms of getting married there are a lot of different opinions out there, each valid for their own reason !!! i agree with u that i would like to be married too <3 i am always wondering when i will start dating and i know that sounds so embarrassing ......... like i'm still in high school or something stupid like that ....... i've never dated i've never kissed anyone i'm pretty sure no one has even looked in my direction lol but i think it's bc i don't put myself out there much :( honestly i'm afraid but i want to be loved, i want to love someone more than myself, i think sharing that with someone is really lovely . idk if it's bc i don't have any confidence in myself to make the first move and initiate anything; i don't go out and party/drink; i'm not a confident gal so i often wonder "i'm wasting time, i'll never be married or meet anyone, i'll never have children of my own if i don't do something soon" ....... will i end up taking fate into my own hands and meet someone ? idk !

what i'm trying to say is that u are definitely not alone in these thoughts angel <3 for me, i think u think a lot about these things bc u care and that will make u even more caring as a parental figure if u decide u want children in your future <3 and i think it's a life journey to reflect and work out our past traumas, no matter how terribly they may haunt us, right? we owe that to ourselves, don't u think? :) these are really big decisions we face in the future, but i think, i'm hoping that we will all do what feels right for anything we face <3

i hope this was able to bring you some comfort love !!! i think about this stuff all the time about being a good parent, being a good partner, if i ever will find love in this life, will my past experiences affect how i love in the future; i want u to know i am here and i understand <3