Tumgik
#i will never forgive my mother nor will i ever stop wanting her dead
icannotgetoverbirds · 4 months
Text
fun fact! did you know that reddit reading comprehension is at least almost as abysmal as tumblr reading comprehension? they aren't any better than us!
3 notes · View notes
Note
The double standard Zutara shippers have towards Mai vs Katara is absolutely icky. I saw a post a while ago (don’t remember the user) and screenshotted all the Mai can’t vs Katara can points. I’ll paste them here:
- Katara threatening Zuko if he dares to hurt Aang is a sign of reprimanded sexual tension, but Mai joking about Zuko never daring to break up with her again it's her being controlling.
- Katara screaming at Zuko that, to make her forgive him after he proved to have changed and be a better person to everyone else, he'll need to bring back her dead mother, as if 10 years old Zuko is responsible for Yon Ra killing Kya, is fair. Mai screaming at Zuko to leave her alone after he made a scene insulting her in front of a crowd is abusive, violent and toxic.
- Katara treating Zuko badly after he saved her from being crushed is legit and deserved. Mai slapping Zuko's hand away from her in two separate occasions because he wouldn't stop invading her boundaries after a highly emotional moment is harsh, undeserved and abusive.
- Zuko mocking Katara and telling her that he'll save her from the pirates is cute. Zuko being actually cute with his girlfriend is cringe and obviously something he didn't want to do.
- Katara splashing Zuko when he was kneeling down in the southern air temple episode is justified. Mai throwing a SHEET OF PAPER at him after he broke up with her and ghosted her is abusive and violent.
-Katara touching Zuko's scar in the catacombs to heal him is cute and a moment of trust. Mai touching Zuko's scar multiple times and him not being bothered by it in the slightest (even burying his scar in her hair) is a breech of trust and consent.
- Katara having many guys who have a crush on her throughout the series means she has rizz and that she's a catch. Mai having one boyfriend other than Zuko makes her a slut.
- Mai and Zuko being childhood friends to lovers is cringe and an overused trope, but then you'll go on the Zutara tag and find multiple fanarts of childhood friends Zutara AUs
- Katara establishing boundaries and making her stance on breeches of trust well known with multiple characters is good writing. Mai breaking up with Zuko after he lied to her multiple times means that she isn't worth sticking around, and is so selfish that she'll leave Zuko in a moment of need.
- Katara had three children while Mai only had Izumi, which means Katara is a better woman (yes, I've actually come across this kind of disgusting comment.)
- Zutarians claim that Katara is apparently reduced to a housewife and child bearer with no agency as Aang's wife (she is a well known master, wonderful healer AND politician as she made bloodbending illegal in canon), and would be better off as the fire lady (????), but at the same time Mai is nothing special because she is just the fire lord's wife while Katara is a master. Like, make it make sense. Being a fire lady is either "demeaning" for both or for neither.
+ Zutara fans making Izumi Zuko and Katara's daughter, and then proceeding to make a rant on how Mai is NOT Izumi's mom despite her looking exactly like Mai and Michi PLUS having "fountain" a significant name in Maiko's love story, in her name.
I’ve been silently reading all the anti zutara here and thought of sharing my piece. I would like to hear what you think too
God, the Izumi one pisses me off the most because:
1 - Neither Katara nor Zuko would EVER just refuse to raise or even acknowledge a child of theirs. Katara's whole trauma is about having to grow up too fast after her mother's death. Zuko's whole trauma is growing up with an abusive father that kicked him out of the house. They would NEVER abandon a child of theirs.
2 - Neither Katara nor Zuko would ever forgive a former partner if said partner had a kid with them and then abandoned said child, again, because of their own traumas.
But also HOLY SHIT, zutara's brand of "feminism" never ceases to shock me. "A better woman has more kids"? Seriously? And here I thought the worst take I'd ever see from them was "Zuko needs to marry a woman of a different race because his genes are bad, but he is one of the good ones, and Katara could fix his defective genetic that makes his kind more likely to be violent - no, I never heard the term 'eugenics', what's that?"
And yeah, funny how they're constantly going on and on about how being Fire Lady would totally "empower" Katara, but the second Mai is the one to marry Zuko, suddenly that role is oppressive and disrespectful towards a woman.
38 notes · View notes
kiwislayys · 1 year
Text
Shatter me quotes that i am in love with ♡ ⊹
- I find my self thinking about warner too much , I remember his eyes and his odd kindness and his cruel calculating demeanor.
- Sometimes I think about glue, no one ever stops to ask glue how its holding up if its tired of sticking things together or worried about falling apart or wondering how it will pay its bills next week. Kenji is kind of like that
- “Dont go” he whispers eyes on my notebook again. “Please” he says. “ sit with me , stay with me i just want to see you , you don’t have to say anything “
- Just because i am going to hell , doesnt mean you will ever deserve her
- Hell is empty , all the devils are here
- I have no one to impress, no one who cares about what happens to me. I am not in the business of making friends love, my job is to lead an army and its the only thing i am good at. No one would be proud of the things I’ve accomplished, my mother doesn’t even know me anymore, my father thinks I am weak and pathetic, my soldiers want me dead , the world is going to hell and the conversations i have with you are the longest I’ve ever had.
- I’ve never claimed to be right or good or even justified my actions the simple truth is that i don’t care I’ve been forced to do terrible things in my life love and i am seeking neither your forgiveness nor your approval because i do not have the luxury of philosophizing over scruples when i am forced to act on basic instinct everyday
- Twice I’ve laid myself bare for you and all its gotten me was a bullet wound and a broken heart
- Do you never get exhausted being so wholly unbearable? You have as much charisma as the rotting innards of unidentified roadkill
- But i do know what its like to hide from the world i know what its like to live as though you don’t exist , caged away and isolated from society and i wont do it again
- Ignite my love , ignite
- All right , all right drama queen calm down and tell me about this classified business
- To the world she is formidable, to me she is the world
- Cant look at you , why not? , too pretty
- I want to remember to celebrate more. I want to remember to experience more joy i want to allow myself to be happy more frequently i want to remember forever this look on aarons face as hes bullied into blowing out his birthday candles for the first time.
-I am having a panic attack you inconsiderate ass
-I am not dramatic, my presence just commands a certain amount of attention.
-such unfortunate language , only those who can not express themselves intelligently would resort to such crude substitutes in vocabulary
♡ ⊹ ♡ ⊹ ♡ ⊹
25 notes · View notes
gladioluscorner · 1 year
Text
I never got mail. It was always a rarity.
Yet today I got mail. My mother was just as confused as she handed me the envelope, shrugging when she saw my face. I took it from her hand, sitting on the couch to take a read of it. Ripping the letter open, I wondered what college this was. That was pretty much all I ever got- colleges asking for my money, which is quite funny when all you see is moths when you open my wallet.
I took out the first paper in the letter, unfolding it to reveal messy handwriting in a green pen, some spots smudged from where the writer had placed their hand on still drying ink.
‘Dear Reagan,
‘I’m so sorry I’ve never done this before. I should have talked to you years ago. But I guess this would be the most important letter either way.
‘If you don’t recognize my handwriting, it’s your birth father, Jason Reiner.’
I stopped reading. This was the man who left my life when I was a kid, my intro to crappy parents and the damage addiction could do to a person. Still, I had barely touched his letter. Despite his absence from my life, I felt I owed him the opportunity to see himself better.
‘I left your life at the age of eight after your mother and I got divorced. She wanted nothing to do with me, and she had every right to. I was not a good man, and I had a tendency to drink more than one should. For that, I apologize, and I promise within these years I’ve been gone, I went to rehab and haven’t touched the bottle for four years straight.
‘I cleaned myself up and became a better man than who I was when you were still a little kid. You deserve way better than what I gave you, but I hope you’re doing alright all these years later.’
Good, he cleaned himself up and was making progress in his life. It’s hard to admit fault and change, a lot will pin the blame on people who tell them they need help. But it looks like he could tell that help was needed and made an effort on his growth and stuck to it.
‘You’re probably wondering why I’m reaching out. Well, in the years me and your mother have been divorced, I remarried to a woman I met at rehab. She’s another former alcoholic, and she’s just as dedicated to stay sober for the rest of her life. She’s a gentle soul, really, and has a great laugh. She and I have been married for two years. Her name is Cayla, and she’s technically your stepmother. I’m not saying you have to meet her or think of her as a mother, but she would like to be your friend.
‘But it’s not just my marriage I came here to tell you about. In fact, it’s your sister. Me and Cayla have a little girl. She’s absolutely beautiful, and I love her to pieces. She reminds me of you, with every giggle and every smile. I can’t bear you not knowing her. Regardless of what you think of me and Cayla, you’re entitled to a relationship with your sister and see her grow.
‘I hope regardless of how you feel about this, you give Gwen a chance. Here’s a picture of us.
‘I hope you can at least think about it.
‘PS, tell your mother about all of this. This is her family as well, her stepdaughter. She deserves to know the kid as well.
‘Sincerely,
‘Dad’
I dropped the letter on the table. A feeling of anger took over me, then confusion, hurt, and finally acceptance. The man had walked out of my life because he didn’t think he could be what I needed, so he built a new life without me and my mom. Yet he felt we deserved a part of his new one once he and those in it were comfortable and better. He wanted a relationship with me, with my mom again, and he wanted me to have one with my half-sister. He doesn’t expect forgiveness nor what he had before.
I hand the letter to my mom as I dig out the photo. You can tell he’s got a shine in his eyes instead of deadness like the old ones I used to have, and the woman with him has a nice smile and pure adoration as she looks at him with their kid in his arms. The kid can’t be more than a year old, but she’s laughing in the picture and clearly is happy.
You’d think seeing such a tight family, one clearly happy, one I didn’t have as a kid would make my blood boil. But rather, relief fills me. She’s happy. And I want to make her happy too.
“Mom, I want to see them.”
2 notes · View notes
evanthenerd83 · 2 years
Text
“Still Born”
A broken clock strikes eternity.
“Here we,” I feel it breathe. Floors buckle beneath a girth, endless and restless, and the beams scream in agony. Walls squash. Spill their egotistical decorations upon tearing, bleeding flesh. A lightbulb shatters into bursts of heavenly static.
“All are,” it coughs, and a nail is driven deeper.
Eternity reels back in surprise. Sounds sputter, then rewind. Old words echo from graying lips. Mouths crystallize.
Pause, rewind, play. Eternity forgives the abuser. I am left adrift. I was no longer sufficiently anchored. Nor existing.
“At the end,” it croaks, voice getting lighter. Right now, it can see me. I feel cold.
Eight eyes edge ever elsewhere. Elsewhere edges erstwhile.
Ghosts are unfurling their wings about my sprawling form.
Their collective gaze betrays heartbroken betrayal.
“Too late,” I sigh, and gaze back, smirking. They cry; a silent, grieving affair. Voices of abandoned kittens batter already poisoned eardrums. Naked bodies darken. Constellation mouths delineate. Purpose rots. My house seems so far away from me now. Yet I can hear.
Across the void, it speaks. Words bring newly discovered meanings.
Newborn fear. Fear, hatred. Acceptable resentfulness. Welcomed anger.
My mother suffered while delivering me into this world. I was supposed to have been dead. Rotten away inside of her womb. Ejected as a mass of pink and red jelly. A waste.
A shell without the necessary contents.
Stillborn curiosity. Curiosity, pleasure. Witnessed beauty. Memorable treasures.
Father understood that something was wrong. He left us, Mother and I, and would later leave this world.
“A miracle,” doctors admitted.
Laying beside the broken clock, the vessel is bleeding. She dies. I can forgive myself. Shattered hips; torn uterus. She had shrieked when it began to slide towards the light. She stopped when it broke through. A small mercy.
If you think about it. I thought about it.
An overdue correction for past mistakes.
“My sweet baby,” Mother would tell me. “God saved you.”
I rejected this lie. Dogs barked whenever I came close.
“God answered my prayers. He delivered you safe and sound.”
Memories of my classmates, loud and anxious, missing school for weeks at a time, maybe never coming back at all, hovered before my eyelids; sickness spreading wherever I went.
Birds dropped dead at my feet.
Her hair fell out in clumps and handfuls. She, too, fell out. As would everyone. Ad nunc.
It was a miracle that the vessel survived long enough.
“A true miracle. A blessing.”
An overdue correction of past mistakes.
A quick fix for ruined plans.
The broken clock and eternity are fully separated. From this place, which is nowhere and nothing, they barely register as anything meaningful. Simply pinpricks radiating agony across the amniotic beyond, remnants of what came before.
“Why was I born,” the broken clock asks. Its shape ripples and bursts open. Ichor splatters against walls that slip off the world and paints the static black.
This is the inevitable question all life asks.
“I cannot answer that,” I finally confess. “Don’t make me answer that, please, son—“
It weeps. “There is… no need… to deny… what you… have been… planning. A cancer… has… walked and touched… and corrupted all… that was. You sought a… way… to end… what you… are.”
Among the angels I summoned from the ether, thoughts and prayers shimmer like sunlight falling upon a mirror. They reach out for something else. Abject fear. Blind panic. Pitiful reliance. I can sense a warm presence close by. It too flickers.
“Did you… think… this would… account… for your… mother’s sin?” The broken clock growls.
“I hope so,” I sigh. “I just want to spare myself from pain. From guilt. Sorry.”
It cackles, then takes a breath.
Eternity’s sob trails off and it vanishes into the great unbeing. I know that peace is coming soon.
As the broken clock and I slip further away from each other, the angels dying around me—even the presence, that warmth—emit one final burst of failing luminosity.
They unbecome, disappear, lifetimes and existences and purposes unraveling, as humanity’s prayers cease.
The broken clock and I share a momentary lapse of calmness. Certain spots within the void explode in colors no sane universe created. Then everything else.
We lock eyes. One last time.
“You deserved a chance at life,” I tell my son. “A different father.”
It blinks. It dies. The window closes.
An overdue correction of past mistakes.
A quick fix for ruined pains.
A cure to cancer.
I pay.
And my bill is settled.
Want More? 👇🏻
0 notes
iiraven · 3 years
Text
Odyssey
Pairing: Poseidon!Armin x Reader
Genre: romance, smut
Warnings: slow-burn, minor character death, manipulation, stalking, possessiveness, Yandere behaviour, puppy play, piss play, body worship, throne sex, implied age-gap, oral(male receiving), hair pulling, collaring (without consent)
Word count: 9.8K
Synopsis: Armin’s quest for revenge leads him to you, daughter of a merchant and object of his infatuation.
Author’s note: thank you @bubbleteaimagines​ for hosting this collab and allowing me to join <3 Also, thank you @onyxoverride​ for teaching me how to write about pee!
Attack on Titan Masterlist
Tumblr media
Present day:
If the river could speak, you wonder what it would say.
In the silence that surrounds the rushing of the water, you’re sure you would hear it. Sometimes, you’re sure you can hear it, but then you remember the dangers of trusting unfamiliar voices. Especially unfamiliar voices in a place like this.
No one goes near the river Shiganshina. And you forget the reasons why much too often.
It’s rocky, slippery, there’s no path to walk on, and the nymphs grow sharp teeth when men approach them, hissing and eyes glowing red. But that’s what makes it perfect for you.
Sasha first mentioned the river months ago, recalling the places on the island that her and her father avoided whenever they went hunting. You hadn’t paid much attention to it until days later, when Connie recounted with round eyes how Floch’s body was found beside the river Shiganshina, mouth full of water and eyes gouged out. You knew you needed to go there yourself.
A pearl necklace is what you stole. And under the guise of going to wash clothes at the well, you made your way south of your small island with only Sasha’s vague instructions and your intuition guiding you.
You could hear the ocean as you walked through the untouched woods, your heart hammering in your chest every time the waves crashed against the island’s cliffs. You weren’t allowed to see the ocean- you weren’t allowed to be around any large body of water, for that matter- but you still knew your island well enough to know that a step in the wrong place could lead you tumbling down the cliff.
You would die before you got to feel the water on your skin and that, you thought, would be the most tragic part.
As your feet began to sink into the muddy ground, you could smell the salty water, and a slight metallic scent behind it that only drew you in closer until you reached a clearing. It was small, crowded with foliage with only a few dead plants on the ground where you could only assume people had attempted to step foot.
And there was the river. It was small, its water emerging from underground before the tide pushed it to the edge of the island- to a waterfall. So loud that it could drown out any noise, any screams. You shivered. For a moment, you just stood back and watched. The water was was green, but so clear that you could still see the fish swimming beside the floating objects. Coins, silver, small statues, and whatever else hopefuls had tried to offer. You pulled out your own offering and whispered a short prayer before throwing the necklace in.
It could have been your imagination, but the water calmed. It was quieter. And, like that, you felt as if the river had opened up its arms to you. Strong arms that you have to be cautious not to spend too long within lest you get trapped.
Thankfully, you’ve learned to read the signs. You know when the river wants you to leave, when it wants you to keep your distance, when it wants to keep you close, and even when it wants you to bathe. Those are the special moments. It’s rare the river is calm enough for you to dip your naked body into, but surrounded by the cool water, you feel like you could stay their forever.
If the river could speak now, however, you’re sure it would tell you to fuck off.
Either that or it would tell you to come back when you have something more to offer its god than a single golden bead from your grandmother’s necklace. Only three are left on the thin string, though you think you might keep the last one to honour her death. After that, you’ll have to go back to offering coins and whatever other trinkets that will keep the god of this river sedated long enough for you to dip your feet into the cool water, maybe take a sip, and then return home before your father realises where you’ve been, much less where you’ve been unchaperoned.
The latter is hardly your fault. Sasha and Connie are too scared to step foot in the Shiganshina forest, let alone the river itself. And you can’t trust anyone else to accompany you, especially the servants whose tongue could slip at the drop of a golden coin. Your father would never forgive you for spending time in the territory of the God of the Ocean or- as he liked to call Armin- the destroyer of seas. And thus, being left alone seems to be the only way.
Well, that’s unless Mr Arlert decides to join you.
The owner of the stable who appeared on the island out of nowhere is the last person anyone would expect to be brave enough to spend time at the river Shiganshina. He mostly keeps to himself, only ever seen tending to his horses or immersed in scrolls of literature and poetry. And yet, he’s here almost as often as you are, almost as vulnerable as you are.
Despite his solitary nature, Mr Arlert has been quick to make himself adored. Mothers swoon over his charm, scholars constantly indulge in his curiosity, and sailors are fascinated by his knowledge of the world and its oceans. He’s no warrior, and already in his late twenties, but he’s still without a doubt one of the most eligible bachelors on Paradis. And, yet, to any marriage proposal sent his way, he declines with a polite “A husband is not what I am fated to become”. Even Annie Leonhardt- whose father Mr Arlert would constantly visit- had her heart broken. But no one blames Mr Arlert, of course, who was there to comfort Annie, to make her realise that she just needs to be a better person, that’s all. It’s not his fault her heart broke, Mr Arlert reassured.
Thinking about it now, you’re amongst the handful of women who haven’t been offered to the tall blond. And with that comes a sigh of relief as you drag your fingers through the water.
It’s not like you dislike him- the opposite, actually- but being with Mr Arlert is like taking the hand of an invisible man in the dark and letting him guide you.
His words constantly have your thoughts spiralling in directions that they shouldn’t be. Thoughts about leaving the island, thoughts about going to the ocean, thoughts about becoming a priestess. Thoughts you aren’t allowed to have.
You fate is bound to the home you were born in, a thick rope tied to your ankle, only letting you go as far as this very river. And Mr Arlert sits beside that rope, a knife in his hand, blue eyes staring into your soul, waiting. You’re not sure what he’s waiting for. But what you’re sure of is that to be taken away from the life you know of is an inconceivable fantasy. The unknown is a dangerous thing, after all.
The small island of Paradis may lie far away from the rest of the world, but their core values remain the same. A woman must grow up to either serve her father or her husband. Your fate has already been decided for you. And, frankly, if it means not having to share a bed with an old man who marries you for your dowry, you’re very happy with taking care of your father until the day that he’ll be put into the ground.
But then there’s always the third option. A woman who serves neither her father nor her husband will serve her god. 
You had never been given that option by your god-hating kin. Simply suggesting a future as priestess would earn you at least five lashes, so why… why can’t you stop thinking about it? Your instincts have you blame Mr Arlert, but you know that your fixation began before he arrived on the island; all he’s done is vocalise your thoughts.
As a gust of wind blows the leaves and the salt from the sea gently caresses your cheek, you wonder who your god would be. Do you resonate with Pieck’s beauty, or Zeke’s creativity? Maybe. But as you look into your reflection, you know that your god is no other than Armin, the god of the ocean. The fates must think this is hilarious, but you just want to scream.
“It’s getting late. I wouldn’t want your father worrying about you.”
You jump at the sudden voice, turning around at the familiar face, leaning against a tree with a gentle smile.
“Thank you, Mr Arlert.”
His footsteps are so gentle, as are his apologies.
“You don’t need to thank me. I’ve come to invade your space, after all.”
“It’s not my space, it’s Armin’s. The god is only letting me stay here.”
He smiles a knowing smile, one that you would usually find patronising on any other man. But Armin is charming, too charming for you ever to think that of him. “I suppose you’re right.”
He comes to sit down beside you, taking his usual place at your right- the voice of reason. It’s quiet for a moment, before you remember.
“Lemnos,” you say.
The blond smiles. “I’m not named after a place.”
And you roll your eyes, as you’ve done every time he’s given you a useless hint. “That hardly narrows it down.”
“Well, I can’t make it too easy of a game.”
“You can’t make it impossible either!”
“It seems like I already have.” And you’re not sure if you want to wipe the smirk off his face or just stare at it.
“What about Tree?”
Arlert laughs. “No, but you have one guess left.”
“What?!” You sit up straight, eyes wide. Now you really want to wipe the smirk off his face.
“You have seven guesses, and in the eleven months we’ve known each other, you’ve used up six.” His explanation is calm and rational enough for you to almost convince yourself that the rule has been there from the start.
“Wait- wait. I never knew about this!”
“I thought everyone did. It’s traditional wager rules.” Mr Arlert’s tone is sorry, but you know he’s everything but. So, you cross your arms and pout, hoping that staring him down might at least give you the smallest chance of winning your wager.
He leans forward, mirthful and you feel a shiver go down your spine. “What is it, little puppy, sulking because you’re afraid you can’t win?”
You flush at the implication of your loss- “No- no not at all- no”- before registering his actual words are and only then can you feel the heat rise and you’re sure it’s doing you no service. “I know I can win!”
“I know you can too,” he assures you.
You frown. “Are you being sarcastic?”
It’s his turn to flush. “No, not at all! You can win- the water god favours you, after all.”
And although you shrug, his words stick. They always do.
Before you go home, you pass by Armin’s temple and place at the foot of his statue the remainder of your grandmother’s necklace.
Tumblr media
A year ago:
Amrin knew how fickle the gods were and he thought that this knowledge made him impervious to those feelings. He watched how Eren jumped from woman to woman daily, how Reiner picked and chose his battles without a care, how every single fixation a deity would have never lasted more than a year. He thought of how stupid it was to spend a life of immortality indulging in such temporary pleasures. And he looked down on his kin for that very reason.
It was only after one argument too many that Armin finally let it slip. The god of the sea was usually quiet, offering soft smiles, casual conversation, and minimal conflict. That was his only rule: keeps quiet before the gods of the pantheon as he takes his anger out on the humans below. But that day, he forgot about his rule.
Maybe it was the years of silence that caused the Eathshaker’s outburst, or maybe it was just Eren’s bored expression as he talked about his mistresses in front of Mikasa. Armin couldn’t take it. Gathered at a marble table beside all the Olympians, he scowled and told them how stupid they all were.
“Don’t you realise? You’re all wasting your immortality by being so idiotic, so fickle! Everything you touch becomes a temporary pleasure, ruined by your inability to act like real gods.”
He should have stopped; he really should have stopped. But the crack in the glass bridge had been there for years, and now the shards of glass were dropping down into the sea. “You might as well be human!”
The room went silent. Eyes went wide, and mouths gaped, but the gods opted for silence. Every deity wanted to speak up, maybe even draw their swords, but they were more intelligent than Armin was in that moment, which was more unusual than one might think. He had never snapped so violently before. Armin may have been aggressive, but he knew his place. Knew when to be docile. Now, he felt like he could crumble Olympus itself with his rage and bury the Olympians with their dead parents.
The king of the gods, however, leaned forward. His emerald eyes were unmoving, devoid of emotion though his lips tilted into a monstrous grin.
“You’re just as fickle as the rest of us, brother,” was all Eren said.
When Armin lunged at him, knocking the fine glass off the table, it was Mikasa who pinned him down. Arms locked behind his back, all Armin could do was watch as mirth flooded Eren’s face, and the god of the sky laughed. The bastard laughed and laughed and licked the small wound on his hand from a shard of glass. It healed immediately. Even their pain was temporary.
And like he had been doing for the past millennia, Armin found solice in his only rule: if he couldn’t take out his rage on his brother, Armin would take out his frustration elsewhere.
His first instinct was to find a woman, but the thought of seeking out temporary pleasure, from a mistress no less, reminded him too much of Eren. So, he descended to earth, trident in one hand as the other gripped the reigns of his horse and they rode for three days and three nights. That’s all it took for the god of the sea to find what he was looking for- someone deserving of his hatred.
There are many humans like the merchant. But most of their hatred is silent. And when it’s not, blasphemy often falls upon deaf ears. The merchant just happened to be at the wrong place at the wrong time when his drunk rambles led him up on the deck screaming out Armin’s name like it was venom in his throat, until he could scream no more. He was drunk, but the merchant’s hatred for the god of the sea did not cease when he was sober.
And when Armin heard his name, the god wasted no time calling forth a storm to sink the merchant’s ship. He took care to ensure that the arrogant man watched each and every one of his men be swallowed whole, their bodies only resurfacing lifeless, before the storm calmed.
It took five days for the merchant to swim back to his island.
He never returned to the sea.
As the weeks passed, he relocated his home to help him stay away from any body of water and made sure that his family followed suit.
But Armin followed, and the merchant’s father died weeks later with saltwater water found in his lungs.  
Unfortunately, that was not enough to sedate the god of the sea’s need for vengeance. Fortunately, it was not enough to sedate the merchant’s hatred either. The hubris didn’t leave him. Instead, it just grew and grew and grew until the merchant considered himself more of a god than Armin would ever be.
“Oh, oh.” Armin couldn’t help but smile as he watched the man urinate before his temple. “This is perfect, so perfect.”
Armin was going to show his uncaring brother how different he was from the rest of the miserable Olympians. As he stood above the island of Paradis, golden hair blowing in the ocean wind, the god vowed to begin his Odyssey. An eternal Odyssey. A journey that would last longer than the ten fleeting years he had with the Greek hero- a journey that would last longer than the universe itself.
And he knew exactly where to begin. A man’s most valuable possession: his child.
It was only after your grandfather’s death that Armin noticed you. When he first began watching the merchant’s household, under the guise of either a guest or a bird, he had been surprised to learn that the blasphemous man had no wife, nor children. Armin only realised his mistake one night, when you came to lay a blanket on the drunk man’s barely conscious body. The merchant had pulled you towards him, muttering apologies and you had wrinkled your nose before offering him a soft smile. “It’s okay, papa”.
A daughter sheltered from the world, it seemed.
The god had initially thought you were one of the servants. There were only two in the house, and your tasks were all similar. But as Armin began to watch you closer, he saw how you did have a life outside your home with friends, interests, men- a life your father was blissfully unaware of.
The merchant hardly left home- playing the part of the sick man- and you took care of him- playing the part of your dead mother- in a happy sort of agreement.
You didn’t speak about it to your friends, but you detested your doting role. Armin could tell. The way you wrinkled your nose every time your father walked through the door, the eye-roll when you were given a load of laundry. The god couldn’t help by laugh at how pathetic the merchant was that not even his only daughter- his lifeline- cared for him. The merchant didn’t know, of course. Your fake smiles and gentle hands were enough to deceive him, keep him sane. But Armin was going to break that pattern.
The merchant didn’t deserve the care of a woman. He didn’t deserve anything. So, Armin was going to take you away from him.
His initial plan was to kill you. Simple, efficient, quick. And then he thought of dumping your body somewhere far so that the search for you would break your father’s spirit even more. He hesitated, though, he wasn’t sure why, but he did. And then, you changed your routine.
After meeting up with the two individuals you called your friends at the Sunday market- instead of going back home- you carried on walking. Through the houses on the outskirts and into the dense trees, you almost stung your sandal-clad feet twice before reaching a river. The river had no god of itself, but you still threw in an offering and muttered. Stupid human. And then you sat beside the river and- nothing. Your routine was boring, obviously a ritual to let you escape from reality. Yet, he couldn’t tear away from you. The woman at the river Shiganshina was a different one than the woman who served her father. The one here relaxed her shoulders, cursed at the world around her, smiled- albeit randomly but it was real. He decided there that he would kill you tomorrow.
But when, the next day, you led him back to the river, Armin was lost in you again. Lost in your honestly, lost in your need to escape. He wanted to see more, he needed to see more. Metaphorically, of course. But when you began undressing, the pleated robes dropping to reveal soft skin and tender curves, the god of the sea realised that he wouldn’t mind literally seeing more of you. Armin had been with goddesses and nymphs and, hell, even Aphrodite herself, but never had he been this awestruck. He had to hold himself back. Even though the way you were bathing made it seem like you were worshipping him, water dripping from your body, wet hair hiding the swell of your breasts. Armin’s breath stuttered. He couldn’t reveal himself. He couldn’t.
So, he watched, and watched. Trying desperately to take in everything you were from a distance. Armin didn’t count the number of times he visited you before finally decided that killing you was no longer an option. He told himself that his change of mind was progressive. A practical choice to draw out his revenge into the most painful and convoluted Odyssey. To do that, he couldn’t kill you. No. He was going to take you for himself. Armin was going to turn the daughter of the merchant into a servant of the one God he detested.
Putting the thought into your mind was pathetically easy. As you walked past his temple on your way home, an echo of laughter emerged from the marble building. You paused for only a moment, but it was enough for Armin to catch the look in your eyes. It was one of longing, mixed with a curiosity that threatened to pull you in. But you seemed to catch yourself in the act and hastened yourself home.
And so, Armin’s true Odyssey began. 
For his journey to progress, he had to meet you. Not as a bird or a horse or through glances as a guest. He had to meet you properly. This was the only way to draw you in, he told himself. The only way for you to submit completely and willingly.
Armin could have forced you too your knees, but he had to ensure that your father watched has his daughter chose Armin over him. And chose Armin you would. Every piece was in perfect place. The fates seemed to have woven a beautiful cloth of gold for the god of the sea.
What he failed to realise was that the cloth was in fact a snare- a trap which he will never be able to escape from.
Tumblr media
Eleven months ago:
A short gust of wind had the pears in your thin basket tumbling down onto the rocky ground. You rushed after the fruit, crouching down to pick it up when a shadow appeared, and a hand reached out to pick it up for you. The sandal-clad feet were pale- paler than anyone living on this warm island and the robes a fine, ironed white. He somehow seemed to glow brighter than his clothes, and you purposefully let your fingers graze his as you picked up the fruit.
“Thank you,” you said, standing up.
You were hoping that he wouldn’t catch your staring. But even if he did, you couldn’t tear your eyes off him. He was lean, taller than you but not intimidatingly so and his eyes were like oceans that you found yourself staring into as he introduced himself as Mr Arlert. Just Mr Arlert. The new owner of the stables with a voice so soft, it took a moment before you remembered to introduce yourself.
“Y/N. And thank you, again.” It isn’t appropriate for an unmarried woman to be talking to a man on her own, but you couldn’t help but ask. “Do you have a first name Mr Arlert?”
His smile was contagious. “I do. But names are a powerful thing. I’m afraid I can’t give mine up freely.”
“Oh.” You scrunched your nose. “Can I pay for it then?”
You were dead serious, but the blond man laughed. How can someone look so pretty when they laugh? You wondered.
“I’m serious! I can pay you; name your price.”
Mr Arlert looked down at you, blue eyes twinkling. “I’ll think about it.”
“So, is that a no?”
“It’s a no, for now. One day I’ll tell you my name.”
He was sweet, so sweet, but you still gave him a sceptical frown, nose scrunching and eyebrows furrowing. Mr Arlert in turn gave you a sorry look before his eyes lit up and he pulled out from his brown satchel a small book of yellowed pages and a dusty blue cover, the gold embossing hardly visible. You nose only scrunched further.
“My name is in this story. It’s mentioned few times, but it’s an important one,” he said to you.
You took the book and flipped through the worn pages, immediately recognising the tale of Aphrodite and Ares. The lovers.
Why the challenge? You wanted to ask Mr Arlert but you knew the answer you your get would be too cryptic. Besides, you think, I like a challenge.
“How long do I have?” You asked instead.
“A year and a day.”
“And what will I get if I figure it out?”
At this, he pondered. But it seemed feigned, and you wondered, just for a split second, if the man had planned this from the beginning. But why? This was another one of your questions that went unanswered that day. Because before you could say anything more, Mr Arlert leaned forward and said, “Your reward will be divine”. And he walked away.
Tumblr media
Nine months ago:
Life was well after Armin arrived. There was no other way to put it. Your father was confining himself to his room more often than before, and you were finding more opportunities to visit the river, leave the house and, eventually, you met the handsome baker’s son. Jean was kind, a gentleman, but not the arrogant type like most the men your age. You didn’t even feel too much guilt when you thought that spending a future with Jean- taking care of him and his home- wouldn’t be too bad. It’s quite pathetic that your life had been reduced to not being “too bad”, but the idea of marrying Jean sat on the comfortable line between reality and fantasy. Safety.
And then you were visited at the river.
Mr Arlert wasn’t even surprised to find you there, he had just smiled and sat beside you as you clenched your fists and forced yourself to smile back at him. You had always enjoyed him, his company, his challenges, but now it was like he was provoking you. The river Shiganshina was your river, your special place away from the hellscape that was the town. And now Mr Arlert had brought himself and his ordinary life into it.
You pulled your sandals back on, the crease in your brow evident. He clearly couldn’t get the hint. But before you could stand up, he spoke, and you paused.
“I wish I could jump in and swim away,” he said.
Curiosity got the best of you, as it often did with the man.
“The waterfall would kill you.”
The awkward laugh again. It had an effect on you so that your jaw couldn’t help but unclench. “If it means that I get to touch a waterfall, I wouldn’t mind, you know?”
You knew. You knew exactly what he meant. But you didn’t tell him.
“Didn’t take you as the suicidal type,” you said.
“I might get saved, who knows.”
“If you’re counting on me to jump after you, I’m letting you know I won’t.”
“I know,” he laughed. “I was thinking of more of a divine rescue.”
You finally looked at him, and- unsurprisingly- his blue eyes were glued to yours. What was surprising was his unwavering tone, his straight face. Mr Arlert was being serious. Why was he opening up to you this suddenly? So far, your interactions had consisted of him staring, you trying to guess his name, and him continuing to stare. In that order. You knew there was more to him, but it’s only now that you found yourself wanting to seek that out.
“You think Armin would save you?” You didn’t miss Arlert’s smile.
“I’m hoping I’ve gained his favour- done enough for him to allow me freedom via waterfall.”
It was your turn to smile. “You probably have, You’re at the temple often.”
“Thank you.” He blushed and you quickly pushed down the thought of how cute he looked. Sitting beside you, trousers rolled up and feet in the water, Mr Arlert looked more than cute. He looked like he belonged. You weren’t sure how that made you feel but, in that moment, you didn’t mind him entering your world.
“I think you would also be saved if you jumped into the waterfall,” Mr Arlert said.
You laughed. “Is that your way of saying I’m a nice person?”
“Something like that.” He paused. “I think Armin would appreciate your- uh- honesty. You’re like a priestess.” He laughs nervously at your expression. “You know, they have this personal affinity with the water and such.”
You knew exactly what he meant. How a stranger could read you so perfectly, you weren’t sure. But as you hid your smile between your hands, you wondered whether you were prepared to face the fear of the unknown. Maybe, with Mr Arlert, it would be a bit less unknown.
A few days later, Jean was announced missing. A search party was sent out and even Mr Arlert, on his recently acquired brown horse, couldn’t find him.
Tumblr media
Present day:
Armin isn’t sure if he likes playing the part of the nice boy or not. Humans are simple creatures who praise him continuously and, without divine responsibilities, there is no need to take his rage out anywhere. But a god is who he is, and every day, he yearns to be seen as one. To be seen as one by you. He watches as you worship him, but you never look at him- not like you do the statues, or even the small river which you think is your only true connection to the god of the ocean.
You both want more, and you both know that, but you only ever admit it to each other when you sit beside that very river. There, in those moments, Armin feels a bit more like a god. Whenever he’s around you, he feels a bit more like a god.  
He’s told you before, but your perfect honesty has made it easy for him to unravel around you. He wants to unravel around you in other ways, too, and he wants you to unravel around him. Armin can’t count the number of times he’s sat beside you at the riverside and wanted to do nothing more than to kiss those lips of yours, to press the hard cock that he hides inside of you and watch as your eyes roll back, and you call out his name.  
But the God of the Sea is not Eren. Armin will earn you. And he’s very close to doing so. Not Mr Arlert. You have no interest in human men, that much is clear. You yearn for something more powerful. And you’re right. Only a god is worthy enough to stand beside you, lay between your legs, be in your arms. Mr Arlert is simply a means to push you to realising that the god in question is Armin.
In the meantime, he’s been nothing but patient.
It’s only when you come to his door one night, eyes puffy and red, that he lays his hands on you for the first time. He rubs your back as you cry and cry, fat tears refusing stop falling. You tell him about bout your father. About how, since he got better, he’s been refusing to let you out of the house, snapping at every moment and accusing you of being a filthy god-worshipper.
“He s-sai-d- he said we’re ‘gonna move away- said we’re gonna get as far away from the s-sea as possible.” You can hardly speak, though the tears have stopped, your voice still shakes violently. But Armin listens, he holds you close to him and repeats that everything is going to be fine.
You can’t stop thanking him as you leave, and he promises that his door is always open for you. “Whenever you call for me, I’m here,” Armin tells you. “Right beside you, always,” he adds as he watches you walk away.
He’s reached a new chapter of this Odyssey.
Tumblr media
Present day:
You suppose your father’s death should have been expected. He was an old man, obviously depressed, and his only lifeline was his daughter who hated him.
You also suppose you should feel guilty. You don’t.
Familiar faces give their condolences and whisper questions of what is to happen to you now. You only pay heed to Sasha and Connie, though, who give you a soft hug before Sasha tells you that her family would be happy to take you in. You reassure her and everyone else that you have a plan, though your best friends are the only ones who seem to believe you.
“I heard Marie has a son who’s single, maybe they can-“
“You’re not actually talking about marriage here are you?”
“Well, the girl is all alone in the world, now! She needs a man to lead her on the right path.”
The old women are wrong, so very wrong. You don’t need a man. You’re fucking sick of men- sick of them all- everything they’ve created and everything they stand for.
What you need is a god.
The head priestess of Armin’s temple in unsurprised when you knock on her door with nothing but a bag and the clothes on your body. Those clothes are burned soon after, along with many of your other things, leaving your old life behind.
She tells you that you’re lucky there’s a place for you. The last priestess left running off with a man, “Which is a cardinal sin”, she makes sure to repeat every-so-often. The head priestess seems to hate men more than you do, sneering whenever Connie comes by.
Sasha and Connie are unsurprisingly shocked at your choice of work and even if they visit almost every day, they always tell you that they miss you. They think you’ve come the temple out of desperation- everyone does- and you let them believe. Because despite cleaning the marble floors or whatever other arduous duty you’ve been given, a smile is never far as you realise that you’re free from man. Indeed, explaining the truth to anyone would be far too difficult.
Well, except one person.
You’ve never missed anyone before. Not with your father keeping you so sheltered for most of your life. But as you push through the Head Priestess’ relentless schedule, you can’t help but miss Mr Arlert. He disappears after your father’s funeral, so you leave him a note at the empty stable with your final guess. You like to think he decided to follow his own path, you also like to think that he too wishes you were beside him, a guide in the unknown.
Tumblr media
Present day:
The room is a box of marble, with a throne sat upon a dais at the centre and one fountain at every corner, each one sculped into a horse. The object of your interests, however, is the large bowl of water on the floor in front of the throne.
This is your initiation. You will emerge from this room not as an apprentice, but a Priestess.
You kneel down and lift the pot of clay to your lips. The head priestess kept on repeating how important it is to not put it down until you’re finished. So, you gulp the water down until you can see the image of Armin. You’re the one who selected the pot, with its faded paint depicting Armin and Hange’s fight for patronage of Sina. It’s a powerful image, but when you put the pot down, you come face to face with something very different. Armin is standing in a room-this room, you realise- and crouched down before him is a young woman, looking up in awe. It takes bit longer of a moment for you to realise that the woman is you.
Looking up slowly from the pot, the first thing you see is sandal-clad feet. Golden sandals, just as fine as the robes he wears, draped in perfect waves. The first word you think of to describe him is divine and it’s indeed accurate because-
“Mr Arlert.” Your voice is barely above a whisper.
But you know that’s not correct. The man- no, not a man- before you is taller than Mr Arlert, by a foot and a half at least. His muscles are more prominent that the stable boy’s ever were, strong legs visible through the large slit between the layers of fabric draped over the god’s figure. Half of his shoulder-length hair is tied back using a golden pin whilst the rest frames his perfect, perfect face. You can’t help but think that Armin looks nothing like his statues- no medium of art could capture the ocean within his eyes, glowing in the dull light of the room. Then again, the stories didn’t capture the way the god acts either.
“Armin,” you say, this time your voice louder.
Now, you know.
His sad smile is familiar, but there’s something there that never was. “Oh dear,” he says. “I’m afraid you’ve lost out wager.”
Tumblr media
Armin can’t help but compare you to a puppy, with large eyes staring up at him from your crouched position and an expression a perfect mix of excitement, curiosity, and shock.
You reach out a hand tentatively, but it hovers in the air between the two of you once you notice Armin’s raised brow. But he doesn’t rebuke you for it. After all, it’s only your first encounter with the god. He can’t expect you to behave perfectly, to adopt the right etiquette- no, he’ll have to train you first. Like he would a baby mutt. The thought makes him smile.
“I’ll accept any consequences, my god,” you say. Your voice sounds so sure of itself, so unlike your usual ramblings, those that Armin could and would listen to for hours. Right now, though, the certainty, it’s laced with desire that sends blood rushing south. You don’t notice. You’re too lost in his eyes to notice anything.
When he places his hand on your chin to hold it up, he can feel you shiver. “Such a perfect little worshipper,” he says. “I couldn’t possibly punish you.”
Armin can swear he sees disappointment in your eyes before he turns around and walks up the dais. The marble of the throne is cold beneath him, but the sight of you looking up at him with such longing is enough to warm him up. Now, Armin is sure you’ve noticed his growing erection because you crawl towards the dais, not yet climbing it, but close enough to see and lick your lips.
“Let me thank you at least, Armin.” He almost groans at the sound of his name. God, he wants to hear you say it over and over.
“Come here.”
And you climb up the dais only to pause before Armin leans forward and grabs your hips. Two lips, as if led by an invisible string, meet. You kiss like you’ve been waiting years for Armin and, in a way, you have. His tongue is inside your mouth quickly and he’s kissing, sucking, letting his teeth gently graze your lips as he revels in the feeling of you. As your bodies lean against each other, you can feel his heart hammering against your own. His chest is stone, but his lips are so soft and your hands find his golden hair. It’s also softer than it looks, and Armin can’t help but let out a moan as you gently tug.
When you pull back, his pupils are blown. “Thank me, then,” Armin says, breathless.
Sitting between his legs, your hand is tiny compared to his cock, and you can’t stop staring at it. Long and somewhat slender, but veiny with a flushed red top- he can see you gulp before you take an experimental lick at him. Armin’s hold on your hair only tightens and you look up at him, doe eyed and seemingly innocent.
“Put it in your mouth, pretty girl,” he says, guiding your head gently. “So obedient- Yes, exactly, just like-ah- just like that.”
But he doesn’t need to push down- no- he lets you set your own pace only because you do it so perfectly, almost as perfect as the wet noises you make. Armin doesn’t have time to be surprised, he’s just able to react fast enough to suppress his own moans so he can hear your wet tongue caress the base of his cock, as your lips create the perfect o-shape to accommodate him. Your drool is everywhere in a matter of seconds- his balls are coated with it, and so is your lap, where the spit seeps through the thin white fabric you call a robe.
“Like a puppy,” he murmurs. And you look up quizzically. “You’re drooling over me like a desperate puppy- a puppy in heat,” he grunts. “You just want to please me, don’t you? ‘S alright, puppy, I’ll let you do that.”
If you could nod your head, you would. Instead, your cheeks burn, and Armin is so lost in the way that you look- not even able to take his entire cock in his mouth- that his hips begin to buck unconsciously. He hits the back of your throat, and you gag at the sudden impact, but he hisses and murmurs “What a good, wet hole. So good, good-”
The earthshaker is afraid that if he speaks any louder, his voice will slur into incomprehensible sultry sounds. But as you struggle to take his cock even deeper into his mouth, he lets out groans that go straight between your own legs. You moan around him, and the reverberations make his head roll back. God, you could stare at him forever. And he would let you.
“Look at me,” he says whenever your eyes go astray. “Look at your god.”
As his hips buck more violently, Armin can feel the pressure in his lower stomach, the impending orgasm and he wants to stop- wants to hold out the way he always has. But he can’t, it’s too much and he just cannot pull out of you. He simply pushes further and further into your tight throat, repeating your name like it’s a blessing. “fuck, puppy, ‘m going to- I’m going to cum down your throat. You want that, do you you’re your god’s cum- ah, fuck, ahhh”-
Pushing your head down to the base, both of his hands at the back of your head, Armin cries out you name and you can feel the warm liquid go down your throat, thick ropes filling up your mouth, some of it dribbling out. Armin reflexively pushes it back in your mouth, ordering you to swallow it all, to show how grateful you are. Of course, you oblige. But before you can even regain your breath, Armin suddenly pulls you off his cock. His pupils are dilated, and he wears an expression- anger? Shock?
“You’re not a virgin,” he hisses, teeth gritting against each other. His breath is frantic, uneven. It’s not a question and you begin to recognise his expression. Rage. “You’ve done this before.”
Fuck.
The God of the sea has his fair share of consorts and mistresses. Some of them virgins- though he never chases them the way Eren does- some of them not, but none have made him cum so fast. He would like to blame it on the year of pining, of restraint, but he knows better. It’s you. You do this him. You make him so wild, so willing, so pliant even. 
In that moment, as he looks your worried face, so desperate to please, he thinks that he’ll never be able to let it go. You’ve consumed Armin and he wants to do nothing more than burn eternally. You must understand that- that you exist as his beacon, that’s where you’ll be your happiest, but those thoughts are too complex for a human. You, in your fragile state, can’t understand. It’s alright, he’ll just have to show you bit by bit that you’re his. But to do so, he must first take on the role he’s familiar with. That of the punisher.
“Who is he?” Armin snaps.
“It was only-“
“Who is he?”
You pause. Memories of nights spent together, huddled close and trying to keep quiet already fading. “Berthrolt Hoover.”
Armin’s shoulders relax, “I see.”
His breathing slowly goes back to normal, and, at the back of your mind, you know you’ve signed the young warrior’s death. But your worry is fleeting as Armin grabs you by the neck and hoists you over his knees, laying you down on your stomach effortlessly. “A priestess who isn’t a virgin?”
You look up as see Armin’s familiar sweet smile, but it’s laced with mirth that makes you forget the Mr Arlert he was before. You cry out at the first slap of his hand on your ass, more out of surprise than pain.
“I don’t think the people of Paradis will be very happy to hear that,” he says. “An unmarried woman giving herself away to a pathetic boy.”
Slap!
“I’m sorry!” you cry out. “It was a mis-”
He slaps you thrice.
“No excuses, dumb little puppy. I’m afraid you’ll have to endure this punishment.” His voice is deceptively soft, as if he is actually sorry. And when you look back up at Armin, his face betrays no malice. But it doesn’t show any cruelty either. Instead, there’s a fascination.
Armin has you sprawled across his lap, at his mercy and he is discovering you bit by bit. As a god. His cock twitches and then suddenly he tugs off the fabric of your robes and they disappear.
The way you squirm is half- hearted, and Armin has to laugh. “Embarrassed? Now of all times? I didn’t know you were such a prude. Or is this all just to compensate for the fact that you’re a whore in my temple?”
You shake your head, “I swear, I’ve never belonged to any man!”
Fingers trace the expanse of your naked body, soft enough to send shivers down your spine. “Oh? Really?”
“Yes yes, I swear, ah!” His fingers find your naked ass and they grab onto the flesh, massaging, groping, feeling you. Armin’s other hand rests on top of your head, stroking it gently and you’re so lost in his touch that you almost forget to speak.
“I belong to no man, I never have. Only you. It’s always been you, Armin.”
The god’s eyes widen, and he gently pulls you up from his lap only to seat you on it, upright and, this time, there’s so much more to admire. “You’re right,” he says. Armin captures your lips and this time, it’s longer, rougher. He doesn’t want to pull back, doesn’t want to lose the feeling of your soft lips against his, but his hands have already found your breasts and soon, his tongue joins them. You moan as he begins to lap at your breasts, leaving hickeys and spit in his wake as his finally finds your nipples and begins sucking them like a child as you whine and lean into him.
“You do belong to me,” he finally says, his voice partially muffled as he loses himself in the worship your breasts. “You’ve always belonged to me.”
And you can do nothing more than nod your head as your fingers tangle in Armin’s hair and you’re pulled into another kiss. His hand goes down your body, squeezing every single mound of flesh as if it needs to be touched so that when he finds your cunt, Armin can’t help but smile at how wet you are.
“Already, but I’ve hardly done anything to you?”
What a liar, but you don’t have a chance to tell him before he plunges a finger inside of you. “Oh, puppy, my puppy,” he groans at the contact the same time you moan, pushing your hips against his digits. “You like my fingers like that inside of you?”
“Yes, yes, I do, I really love them- it feels, oh my god, it feels too good!” you grip his shoulders, unable to do anything but desperately buck your hips at the smiling Armin. He knows what he’s doing, he knows that his fingers are giving you just that satisfaction, but it’s still not enough to bring you over the edge.
“Please Armin, please.” You squeeze his shoulders.
“Tell me what you want, tell me, I’ll give it to you- I swear.”
“I want to feel you, all- ah- all of you. I need to feel you inside of me!”
You’re not sure at which moment Armin removes his robes, but as he moves both of your legs so that you’re straddling him, your hands are on his bare, lean chest. The god’s nipples are flushed pink and pert, practically calling to you and you respond by brushing your fingers over them and watching him twitch ever-so-slightly in response. You withhold the urge to take them into your mouth, even as Armin rubs his cock against your cunt, releasing the sweetest of sounds.
He’s already leaking precum and it mixes with your juices so perfectly, his cock being dragged back and forth, only making you gush even more. “So messy,” he mumbles as he uses his tip to spreads your juices across your thighs. At this point, you can practically feel it throbbing, ready to be sheathed inside of you and the whimpers of your desperation echo against the temple walls.
When Armin slips inside of you, simultaneous gasps escape your lips. The god pulls your body closer to his as you throw your head back, stars in your eyes.
“Look,” he whispers. “Look how easily I slip in- it’s- it’s like your cunt is made for me.”
“Armin,” you whisper back. “Armin, Armin- ah- Armin.”
He sinks you down slowly, the stretch hitting every single spot that leaves your legs practically limp. The god is holding you up, whispering his own mantra that you can’t hear over your bliss. Once inside, your eyes look lock with Armin’s and he’s staring at you in a way he’s never done before. You’ve never seen pupils so dilated and the two of you stay like that as if making up for the moments when you should have been connected in this way. An eternity, it seems, the two of you have needed each other.
“I’m your god,” Armin finally says. “I’m your god and- hng ah-” He begins moving you up and down his shaft. “And I’m going to make you cum all over this cock- okay? All over your god’s cock.”
You nod your head pathetically as he lifts your hips and slams them down against his own. He is strong, ruthless in the way he bucks his hips up every time he lifts you from his cock, as if he can’t bare the empty feeling of not having your tight pussy clamped around him. At this relentless pace, you’re sure that the sound of your connecting bodies could penetrate even these marble walls. And yet, you don’t hold back. Thanks and praises spill from your swollen lips and Armin can’t help but lean forward and push his tongue between your mouth, as if he can absorb all of your word. “So good, so good, it’s- uah- I just want more, more of your cock, you fill me up so good!”
Armin can’t deny you. He pushes your thighs to your chest and picks up your entire body to fuck himself. He manoeuvres your body like a toy and as your tongue rolls out and your eyes become glassy, you begin to look like one too. The only sounds coming out of your mouth are incomprehensible, even as Armin attaches his mouth to one of your bouncing tits, you can only squeal.
“Such a good puppy,” he says between kisses. “Letting me use her holes like this. A god using a puppy’s holes- you should be- you should be grateful! Tell me, tell me you’re grateful!”
“I am!” you cry out. “I am grateful!”
“Good girl, good puppygirl.”
When Armin flips you over, you’re sat on his throne and he fucks into you harder, harder than he was doing before, and you swear his moans are louder too. He’s looking down at the movement of your stomach as if hypnotized by the way his cock disappears into you. And, in a way, he is. The fascination of being inside of you- just the idea even- is enough to make him want to cum.
The sudden position has him hitting new spots and the build-up is so fast, you hardly have the time to warn him. “Armin, Armin I’m cum-“
He grabs your face as you release around his cock, body spasming but unable to look away as Armin’s gaze burns through you. “Good girl,” he says. “Show me, show me how you cum. Just like that, just like that.”
He continues to plough his hips into yours and the spasms of your pussy leave him unable to hold back. “Inside of you,” he practically growls. “I’m going to cum inside of you- yes, yes, yes I am puppy. I’m going to cum inside of you and you’re going to show me how you take it yeah?”
You’re too far gone to even register the implications of what he’s saying, but he buries his cock in your warm walls and releases his cum inside of you with a heavy groan. “Just like that, just like that- I’m going to fill you up with my seed, puppy, my puppy.”
Armin feels like he’s emptied his balls- two powerful orgasms which leave his legs shaking violently. And yet, he pulls out of you slowly and stands back up to his full height, cock in front of your face. Almost instinctively, you rub your cheek against it, giving Armin soft kitten licks and he coos at you, stroking your hair. But he doesn’t push, he just holds his cock there and pumps softly as he stares at your fucked out face. Messy, covered in his spit, his hickeys, his bites, his cum- you look perfect, divine. Only one thing is missing. “I’m going to give you everything I have, puppy. And you’re going to take it, okay?” You nod and open your mouth for him and, immediately, a strong stream of pee emerges.
At the bitter taste on your tongue, your eyes roll back, and you spread your legs even wider, a welcome to the mess he is about to make. Armin accepts and angles his cock to release his pee over your chest, then your stomach, and then your already-throbbing cunt. He lifts a foot to rest on the throne and Armin doesn’t think he’s even seen such a beautiful sight in his life.
As if guided by an implicit will, Armin’s foot hovers on top of you and suddenly, he presses against your lower stomach. Your eyes snap back into focus as you whine out for him to wait, wait just a moment “I just had water,” you cry out. “It’s gonna- It’s gonna come out!”
But Armin simply grins. “Let it come out,” he says and presses his foot down harder. “Pee yourself dumb little mutt, be a good puppy for your owner.” The trickle that emerges is involuntary, but Armin’s grin is wider. “Yes, good girl, just like that. Let me see more, let me see more of you.”
The pressure that was holding the bowl of water back broke and you felt the warm liquid against your thighs before you realise what’s happening. Armin practically moans as he watches you whimper and struggle to hold your pee back as it spreads over the throne, the dais, and even Armin himself. He doesn’t stop until you’ve given it all to him.
You expect Armin to disappear. 
You’ve given him everything. His goal is complete, you think, he has nothing more to do with you. But, as he has done many times before, the god surprises you. Armin’s body is heavy against yours when he collapses on top of you, but the weight is comforting. Despite the malaise of urine and cum rubbing against both of your bodies, you wrap your arms around the god of the ocean and hold him close. 
Even as you close your eyes and lean your head back on the marble throne, Armin doesn’t leave you. Even as you open your eyes back up and see blue ones staring back at you, the look he gives you is so familiar and long hair in such unfamiliar disarray that you can’t help but smile.
He doesn’t ask why. Instead, Armin calls forth a stream of warm water from the adjacent fountain to clean the both of you. It feels like a fever dream the way floating droplets caress your bodies, and when Armin stands you up, his hands not leaving you, the perfume that suddenly envelops you is heavenly.
“Can I give you a last kiss, please?” you ask when your robe appears once again. And Armin leans forward to capture your lips, dragging his tongue on your bottom lip as if to taste you.
It doesn’t feel like a final kiss. You’ve had many of them- Jean, Sasha, Berthrold, your father, and even your mother, though you can’t remember it. This kiss is different. It feels less like a kiss and more like a promise, a vow. a shiver runs down your spine. 
“I am your god,” he says and lifts his both of his hands slowly to wrap around your neck. “And you’re my worshipper.” You gasp as a cold sensation spreads around your neck, just below Armin’s fingers. It’s sudden, and heavy and when he removes his hands, yours fly to your neck and there’s a metal band there where there was none before.
“It’s sculpted from Hephaestus’ gold,” Armin says as he strokes his fingers along the metal. But he’s not looking at his gift, instead he looks at you. 
“Armin- I- this is. But why?”
For the first time, he can’t read your expression. But it doesn’t matter. You belong to him. You always have, but now you know. And if it takes time for you to understand, Armin can wait. He’ll wait right beside you, always, always there to guide you.
“This is not the end of my Odyssey. My Odyssey is eternal,” he says before giving you another short kiss and disappearing, the warmth of his lips still present.
The gods might not all be fickle, you think, so you just smile sadly. But the gods are all selfish, so you touch the collar around your neck.
Tumblr media
A/N: This is my first ever collab and I was- as still am- a bit insecure about how this story turned out so I appreciate all of your support ❤️. I would also like to apologise to my fellow history nerds for the historical inaccuracies. 
437 notes · View notes
dalekofchaos · 2 years
Text
Stranger Things 5 Wishlist
My wishlist for Stranger Things season 5
The party reads Max’s letters. Max is in a coma, so I feel like now is the perfect time for everyone to read Max’s letters. It will be heartbreaking, funny, heartwarming and give us the hope that Max will wake up and we can see her reunite with her friends
First episode would center around Will willing(I JUST HAD TO, OKAY) the courage to come out to his family and the party. Sort of like Hopper and the letter. Except instead of snapping and threatening Mike(still not over that bullshit or glorifying Hopper in general) Will is contacted by Vecna. The feeling on his neck, it’s stronger than ever before. 
A memorial for Eddie. We see Wayne, Steve and the Hellfire Club mourning Eddie. Also Steve will be wearing his jacket throughout the season(shut up, it’s for science)
Eddie Munson will return as Kas The Bloody Handed. Eddie’s body was left behind and I imagine Vecna will want to use Eddie as a weapon against Hawkins and resurrect Eddie to be his right hand. I don’t know how this will work in the show. A real vampire or a transformation. But I think if this does happen. Vecna’s order is to spread chaos and disorder. “Become the monster they all believe you to be.”  Eddie will be stopped when Vecna forces Eddie to kill Wayne. Wayne’s death sets Eddie free. Eddie, Steve, Jonathan, Robin and Nancy will get together and turn the tide and help end Vecna once and for all. Also throwing this out there “Steve...you kept my jacket? It really suits you big boy!” Expect Steve and Eddie being annoyingly gay
Kali will return(I hope) El will reach out to her. Tell her everything that’s happened. That she needs her help and that she needs her sister and that she forgives for what she did and that she hopes she can forgive her for leaving her behind. Kali will return in the end giving her a big damn hero moment on her way to Hawkins, she runs into Sullivan. He spends the season turning full Mad Army Guy, and his plot ends with him shooting his men because Kali makes him think that they’re El. And then Kali would use her powers to make Sullivan think he’s El and he shoots himself
There will be a slow build, but Robin and Vickie will be together and Robin will finally kiss a girl
Nancy will find out Jonathan lied about college. Jonathan will say that he didn’t want her to leave everything behind for him, this will cause a fight. Ultimately Jonathan and Nancy will stay friends and realize they shouldn’t be together. Nancy would be single btw
Vecna is going to isolate Will by making him experience the worst trauma in his life -Making him reexperience Lonnie’s abuse -Making him think Joyce, Jonathan and Hopper would reject him for who he is -Making Will think The party will reject him and abandoning him -Making him think that Mike and El will hate him for telling the truth
Vecna wants WIll to join him. He will make Will think he is his only friend, like most abusers. Even have Vecna appear as Henry to Will. Have him say. “I never wanted to hurt you. The reason why I brought you down with me, is because I saw myself in you. You are just like me. Your friends have all but abandoned you. Your father despises you. mother won’t understand you and neither your brother, step-sister nor the boy you love will accept you. Join me Will and no one will ever reject you ever again and I will accept you for who you are.”
In the process of giving in to Vecna, Will, will unlock powers of his own, but surprised by Vecna so he doesn’t overpower him.
Lonnie shows up just so Will can shoot him dead. Whether this is due to Vecna’s influence or not is left up to mystery. 
Max would wake up and would reveal that WIll is the key to killing Vecna. That they need to save Will from Vecna’s influence and they can kill him once and for all
At the end of the season, everyone figures out what Will was trying to say.  In an attempt to get through to Will. The family and party shows that they love Will. Joyce shows that no matter what she loves him, Jonathan tells Will no matter what he is here for him and no matter what he is still his brother. Mike, El and everyone else declares their undying love and support for him and just like that Will is free and forces Vecna from his body. Vecna will attempt to kill them all, but El and Kali will work together against him. Vecna is powerful enough to bring them to their knees. And that’s when Will’s powers unlock, as for what they are I’m not sure. But Will, El and Kali will all work together and destroy him or so they thought. Vecna is still alive, but vulnerable and that’s where Eddie comes to deliver the final blow.
After Vecna’s death and everything goes to normal(for as normal as Hawkins can get) Will properly gets to come out to his family and friends.  Joyce and Jonathan embrace him for who he is. Hopper doesn’t understand at first but grows to accept him, the party all accepts Will. 
I feel like Robin and Murray would give Will a talk, that he should tell Mike and El, I don’t know what he would say, but Robin and Murray fills Will with confidence and hope. Will would in secret tell Mike how he feels. I don’t know if they go full on Byler, but I could see Will saying he knows he loves El, but he just wanted to tell him and Mike and El would handle it positively
Eddie will be cleared of his name because Hawkins is full of idiots, either Hopper will say “he found out the real killer and Eddie was mind controlled via MK-Ultra” or Owens will clear his name. Come on, we all know everyone in Hawkins is an idiot. Eddie’s name is cleared and Jason is still dead. Everyone wins!
I think we end the series on Joyce and Hopper’s wedding
I also don’t think Antonov or Yuri will come to Hawkins. They live in America, but I don’t see any part they could play.
33 notes · View notes
Text
I Knew You’d Come Back to Me
Chapter Two: Slept next to her, but I dreamt of you (Cardan’s POV)
Tumblr media
Summary:  While homesick and heartbroken in the mortal world, Jude finds a pile of letters on her doorstep that include an official pardon and a love confession from Cardan. What is supposed to be a happy reunion quickly falls apart when Jude is told Cardan has returned to Nicasia in her absence. 
Cardan is determined to make it up to Jude. 
**This fic is inspired by the love story between Taylor Swift’s characters Betty, James, and August.**
Should you wish to listen: Cardigan | Betty | August
Tags: Multiple POVs, angst and a happy ending, Jurdan, post-wicked king, canon divergence
Masterlist
Read on AO3
Four Months Post Exile
If she has decided that she wishes to stay away and forget about Elfhame, me, then I will forget about her as well. Except that I can’t because for the eternity she has been gone there has been nothing to rid my thoughts of her.
I grab the nearest pitcher of wine, not that they are ever far from my reach as of late, and swallow as much of the tart liquid as I can. At least if I pass out there is a chance I may dream of her, or dream of losing her. But it is a chance I am willing to take.
There is a revel happening, for a reason I cannot remember. Probably honoring some guest that I cannot be bothered to care about at this point. I tend to the kingdom as best as I can for the day, but by the time the dawn is rising I do everything I can to forget the subtle human features that haunt me. The curve of her ear, the flush in her cheeks, the softness of her form.
Since she has been gone there has been an unbearable ache in my chest that only seems to worsen at her memory. I’ve taken back up with a variety of powders that I grew accustomed to at Balekin’s parties. The numbing sensation is highly preferable to the agonizing dread that awaits me in sobriety. At least when time passes differently, I can imagine that she is home again, or at the very least, I can pass more days until she returns.
Her return seems more and more uncertain because despite my letters, she has not come home, nor even responded to them. She has made no inclination that she intends to return, which is ridiculous because she is the queen. When she returns I will have to remember to remind her of all the accusations she threw my way at neglecting responsibilities, meanwhile she has spent months in the mortal world as if waiting for me to come bring her home myself.
I grin at the idea. A trip to the mortal world could quickly end this ridiculous torture. At least I would have the chance to see her in the flesh.
She could get her anger out and then return home with me. At this point, a curse from her lips would sound like music and her fingers curled around my neck would be ecstasy.
In time, that anger might turn to forgiveness and we can all move on from this nonsense.
Present Day
What a dreadful day today has been. I should have returned to my chambers the moment I was given news of a wine shortage because poisoned wine had been found in the castle’s cellars, because that meant I had to suffer through the small council’s bickering mostly sober, followed by hours of grievance hearings from folk. For a kingdom full of people who find me utterly incompetent, they sure do make plenty of pleas to the crown.
Only one hour remains until I can leave the presence of my court and scout for my own wine to drink, poisoned or otherwise.
“Cardan…?” Nicasia said with the air of a question.
I respond with a non-committal sound before glancing in her direction to my left. Again, she had found a seat nearest mine, despite my repeated reminder that she was no longer entitled to that spot. We were nothing beyond friends with a bit of history, even if my entire council, mother, and Nicasia herself thought it was ridiculous to prolong a “land-sea” alliance any longer.
I turn back to the conversation I had been ignoring and make an appropriate response, before quickly tuning them out again. Courtiers have nothing better to do than waste my time.
Admittedly, I could see my advisors’ point and I haven’t exactly fought to deny Nicasia’s advances anymore. Not when the one I want has rejected me entirely, favoring a mortal over me and forsaking our kingdom to my inadequate rule.
If I were a kinder soul, I might have been content to see her happy and adjusted to the mortal world, but I am not. I hate myself for sending her away and I hate her just as much for not wanting to return. Every time someone suggests I marry, I want to scream the truth for the entire kingdom to hear.
I married the mortal Jude Duarte. I did it so she would release her hold over me, but I also did it because I wanted to. I wanted to make her my queen and share this dreaded life with her; the powerful, defiant, occasionally murderous, human woman with all her soft features and perfectly odd ears.
Pride be damned. If she returned, I’d allow her anything. She would never need a geas to command me. She was already a ruler, she deserved the credit. The court would eventually adjust to the idea of a human ruler once they recognized her rule. I would lead the most devoted of her court and in our bedroom, I would further prove to her just how devoted I was by spreading --
Nicasia’s hand sliding over my knee snaps me from my thoughts. The touch of her hand felt sickly wrong considering my thoughts of Jude. I brush her hand aside and purposefully ignore the hurt look on her face. I may allow her into my room on nights where even the wine and the powders cannot bring me peace, but she knows I am far too sober and there are too many people around for that.
At the edge of my peripheral I see a dark shadow approaching. The Roach; always a welcomed distraction usually armed with wonderfully bad news.
“Come to tell me of another attempt on my life?” I murmur as he bows down to whisper in my ear.
“You are needed at once, your majesty” the goblin reports.
At that, I laugh but make no effort to move. “There is a first for everything. What is it?” I am happy to use whatever matter it is as an excuse to leave, but I am curious what requires my attention that the spies could not handle themselves.
“Jude has returned. She is waiting to see you.”
His words hit like the hilt of a sword to the chest. I stand, jumping the courtier closest to me.
“I have matters to attend to. Enjoy the rest of your evening.” I say to no one in particular, trying to ignore the loud pounding in my ears as my heart threatens to beat out of my chest.
I begin to follow the Roach out of the room when I feel a hand on my arm.
“What is going on?” Nicasia asks, her eyes wide. I shake out of her grasp.
“It is a matter of great importance that does not concern you.” Instead of moving away, like my body demands to, I move in closer to her so only she can hear me. “I meant my words in the gardens. Do not show up this evening or any evening again.”
Her mouth fell slightly open as water rimmed her eyes. I didn't stay for her response, instead I turned back and followed the Roach into the tunnel, knowing every step was bringing me closer to Jude. As we stalk through the hallways, I cannot slow the questions bombarding my mind.
Did she decide against her life in the mortal world? Did she miss me as I have missed her? What should I say to her? Will she allow me to embrace her? Should I announce her return tonight?
I have envisioned dozens of scenarios of what I would say or do when she returned, but now that she is only a few steps away I have no plan past seeing her, holding her if I can, to make sure she is real and not my imagination come to life.
We take the final turn that I know leads to the headquarters for the Court of Shadows when Livier blocks the doorway.
“Where is she?”
I watch as her face contorts. She opens her mouth to respond before closing it again, clearly unsure how to answer. I don’t have patience for this. I have to see her now.
“Move Livier,” I demand.
How many months has it been since we had fallen asleep together after our vows? How long has it been that I’ve felt her pressed against me?
“Cardan, wait!” She exclaims as I try to move past her. “She doesn’t want to see you.”
I stop dead at her words.
Before I can speak, the Roach asks for me, “What do you mean? She sent us to get him.”
The pixie nods. “Yes. She went to the royal chambers, but she returned soon after and has stated she does not wish to speak.”
I cannot help the bite to my words. “To speak to anyone, or just me?”
Her silence gives me my answer. “Why?” I spit out.
She is on the other side of the wall. It has been months, what about my room could have made her decide against seeing me? A darker thought crosses my mind; what if she has decided to return to the mortal world again? The idea threatens to break me then and there in the dark tunnels beneath the castle.
Livier looks at her companion with unease.
“Why?” I demand again.
The Bomb swallows before explaining, “When she returned, she asked how long you and the Princess of the Undersea had been back together.”
My desperation melted into cruel pitiful laughter. She was jealous of Nicasia, while she had herself a human plaything. The hypocrisy was grand. I wonder how her face would look when I asked about the man and how she could possibly blame me when she broke our vows first. My laughter quickly fizzled into a frozen anger.
I needed to leave before the weight of the situation could bear down on me. In all my imaginations, I never predicted this. I had hoped she’d run to my arms or more realistically, slap me followed up with a kiss. But never returning and refusing to see me.
I want to beg to see her. Beg for her forgiveness. Beg her to stay even if she hates me.
As a king, I have every right to go wherever I please. But as a queen, she has the right to deny entry to anyone. So I turn in the tight hallway and take the turn that leads to my rooms.
She is home. She wouldn’t see me, but she is home, which meant I could fix this. She might not see me tonight, but I would win her forgiveness and maybe her love too.
****
After almost two weeks of announcements and planning, Jude’s coronation ball will begin soon. I have still yet to see her in person, but through messengers and letters she agreed to rule with me and begrudgingly accepted my proposal for a party to celebrate her return and status.
The actual coronation will not take place for another few weeks due to the time needed to gather all the court’s representatives, but this evening would be a full celebration nonetheless. She is home and that enough is cause to celebrate.
The party will also finally force Jude out of the shadows. I suspect she has moved around the castle quite a bit as I heard she met with her sisters and the Living Council, but she has made a careful effort to avoid me.
There have been several times where I have made it all the way to her door before deciding to leave and giving her the space she demands. For months now, I have had dreams of the moment we saw each other again; I have imagined her vulgar words and sweet touches. Tonight is the last night I can imagine because in a matter of hours I will see her again. For the evening, she will have no choice but to stand in the same room as me. I already announced her as my wife and Elfhame’s High Queen. After this evening, she can avoid me outside of official business, if she wishes. It would be devastating, but no more devastating than how it felt when she was gone.
I pace back and forth in my chambers thinking through all the details of the evening since I have nothing better to do. I dressed long ago in a suit twin to the dress I had sent for Jude. If I thought the last dress I designed for her was stunning, I am not sure I’ll be able to survive seeing her in tonight's creation. I gave the tailor a sketch of a silver gown with a fitted bodice and twin streams of fabric that flow from the shoulders. The hope was to create an illusion of the armor she seemed to favor. I doubt the tailor will disappoint and frankly, Jude could wear an old sack and still be devastatingly beautiful.
Before long I receive the signal to head to the ballroom. As I enter the room, I admire for the first time the servant’s efforts to fulfill my image for the evening. The decoration for a typical revel was nothing compared to the fanfare visible this evening. Long strings of lights and streamers hung from the ceiling and sweet and savory treats of all varieties are piled high on trays. The musicians and other entertainment for the evening are already in full swing keeping the guests happy and amused.
As is customary, the party has been going on for some time now, before the king and now queen enter. The center of the space is filled with revelers dancing and singing. At any other party, I would have gladly joined, but I cannot help the pooling sense of unease as I glance through the crowding looking for a particular face.
I do find the face I am looking for, but not the right person. Taryn is standing on the side of the dance floor chatting with some courtier. Locke is nowhere to be seen, which is for the best. If I notice him even causing Jude to frown this evening, I will have him locked in the dungeons for the night.
I occupy myself with some wine while I wait and use the opportunity to boast of Jude’s brilliance to anyone who decides they wish to speak with me. After about a dozen of these conversations, I finally catch a glimpse of her walking into the room with Vivianne at her side.
My Jude.
I admire her with total abandon. She is absolutely stunning. The movement of her steps causes the fabric to shimmer as it flows obscenely over her body. While I will imagine her in this dress for many nights to come, it is the crown that sits atop her head that captures my attention.
The crowd cheers at her arrival and many bow to her. While she keeps her emotions well concealed, I can see the smallest of smiles appear on her face. She enjoys the recognition. Seeing her now, if I could have given her this from the start I would have.
My heart-stopping queen.
I stay to the side where I am and watch her enjoyment from afar. She dances with her sisters from time to time and speaks to members of the gentry with ease. I know she has noted my presence, even if she has yet to look in my direction. When it is time to address the crowd, it is my turn to avoid her direction. I keep my speech to the folk short, enough to praise her and remind anyone who may be considering treason exactly who Jude Duarte is. At the final toast, I steel myself before addressing her directly.
“Welcome home, Jude.”
Our eyes meet for the briefest of moments, burning with a million unspoken words before she breaks away and turns to address the now-growing crowd around her.
It was the first time she acknowledged me since the morning I sent her away and suddenly the emotion behind that realization hits me all at once. I let my eyes linger on her turned back a moment longer, before downing my drink and disappearing into the gardens to wallow in my own self pity.
I told myself I would be happy if she just returned home, but now I realize how badly each moment I spend away from her aches. In school, I hated the way I longed for her. I had chalked it up to being a disgraceful obsession; one I would have been glad to be rid of whatever that meant for Jude. Now, I am equally obsessed with my mortal queen, but rather than having just my thoughts occupied with her, I feel a feral desperation to be near her, to set things right with her.
It is not uncommon for me to be followed, but when I hear soft steps behind me, the last person I expect to turn and see is Jude. Her brown eyes widened in surprise, as if she was not the one following me. We both stare at each other for a half a second too long, before Jude mumbles something and turns to leave. I take her by the arm before she can take a single step away. I won’t let her get away a second time.
“Ask me how hideous you look tonight,” the words tumble from my mouth before I can stop them.
She turns back to face me. I loosen my hold on her arm, but let my hand linger until she decides to brush it away.
“This again?” She asks, sounding more tired than annoyed. I didn’t realize how much I missed her voice.
Desperate to hear her again, I reply, “I can’t. You look like a knight from a story tonight.” A filthy story, perhaps.
Jude’s cheeks pinken as she shifts away from me. If I wasn’t afraid to lose her, I might have found her unease at my closeness cute.
“I’m glad to see the kingdom is still in one piece.” Jude acknowledges, changing the subject away from her. The distance between us feels infinitely greater than the foot of space physically separating us. I’d give anything to embrace her now.
“I had help,” I state simply. It is the truth. The Court of Shadows kept tabs on everyone, friends and enemies, and the Living Council for all the headaches they cause me, they did their job as well.
“Nicasia?” Jude didn’t try or simply failed to hide the accusation in the question.
I sigh heavily and take a seat on one of the garden’s benches. “Ahh that. Yes, it is about time we talked.” I motion for her to join me, to which she refuses.
“I don’t want to hear anything about the two of you. I understand we married out of political strategy, I won’t hold you to human standards of monogamy.” Jude echos my sigh, “After your letters, I thought… Well, I misunderstood the situation.”
My core twists at the way her voice trembled on the words. When did her pain stop being cruel amusement and instead became a twin knife that hurts us both?
“I meant every word in those letters” I murmured softly. How many times had I imagined this conversation before?
Anger burns across her face, “So, what? You got bored of waiting for me to return from the exile YOU-” she jams her pointer finger into my chest hard enough to bruise, “ordered! Maybe next time make sure your letters are actually delivered or perhaps don’t send me away in the first place.”
I stand, challenging her anger with my own. “You think I wouldn’t have waited? I went to bring you home. I saw you dancing with the mortal. Don’t pretend I was the first to stray.”
I expected more anger, denial perhaps, but not... confusion?
“What the hell are you talking about? I haven’t been with anyone else,” Jude yells exasperated.
“The blond male. I came to see you and…” I trail off when Jude laughs suddenly. “What could possibly be funny?”
She covers her face with her hands, shaking her head side to side, “Cardan, you saw me with a friend. Nothing ever happened between us, ever.”
Shame washes over me like a tidal wave. I had returned from that trip thinking Jude had made her decision to forget me and stay behind. I had walked straight into a revel and drank every drop of wine in sight. Nicasia found me a few hours later laying in the grass outside the castle and when she came near I did the one thing I thought would make me feel better.
Nicasia had been the first to notice me, my first real friend then lover. After Jude, I thought she could be the thing I needed again, but I was wrong. It didn’t take long for me to realize it would never be as it was before because my heart still belonged to Jude. If I had only spoken to Jude that night in the mortal world, none of this would have happened.
“I believed the reason for your continued absence was because you were still mad. I thought I could go to the mortal world and convince you to come home, but I saw you with the mortal man. I did not handle the thought of you with another well. Nicasia was there when I got back and… I let her into my bed, but it was you that I thought of every moment you were gone.”
Several emotions ripple across her face before she quickly schooled her face into the impenetrable mask she wears around others. She wears around me too. I continue before the fear of her rejection can stop me.
“There are no tricks within my words, so please hear me when I promise you, Jude, mortal High Queen of Elfhame, it is you I love. My heart is yours and forever will be. There will be no other’s, and if you choose to have me again, it will only be you.”
I raise my hand to cup her face and watch as her eyes flutter close. My name falls off her lips like a plea and I think it might be the most beautiful sound I’ve ever heard. I lower myself to meet her soft lips. Her hands soon find the front of my jacket and I don't fight when she tugs me closer to her.
Without breaking the kiss, I use my free hand to grip her lower back and pull her back into the garden seat with me. On my lap, Jude opens herself up to me and I greedily take in more of her, missing the taste of her. I can’t help but continue to caress her body with my fingertips, long after we break to catch our breath. I place a series of kisses along her neck, each more drawn out than the last before I speak the cruel fact still on my mind, “of all my terribleness, the worst thing I ever did was what I did to you.”
It hurts knowing I can speak those words aloud. I reach up to wipe a stray tear that has fallen from her eyes.
“Will you have me again, Jude?” My heart pounds in the wake of the question. I watch as she considers it. Truthfully, I wouldn't blame her if she refused me, but it would be torturous to have her so near and not mine.
Slowly, she gives a subtle nod and I don’t hide my sigh of relief. She stares at me for a second longer, before smiling, “I love you, Cardan."
I capture her lips again, finding her more addictive than the sweetest wine.
“My sweet nemesis, how glad I am you have returned.”
Tag List: @wafflesandschemingfaces​ 
If anyone else would like to join the list, let me know! 
149 notes · View notes
Text
Tumblr media
Hello everyone!
Another year of Carry On Through The Ages is over and done! We have emotions and exhaustion, but we're so happy that this year had the hype and excitement that it did.
Thank you, from the bottom of our hearts, to all of the AMAZING creators who spent the last several months working away at their historical content!
Thank you also to the hard-working mods: @bazzybelle, @giishu, @palimpsessed, and @xivz . This fest would not have been as successful as it has been without you!
We encourage everyone to look under the page break for all the fics and art. They're all fantastic!
Here is the link to the AO3 Collection: Carry On Through The Ages 2021!
Thank you all, and until next year! 🧡🧡🧡
MONDAY:
1) sun on the sea (T) - @trenchcoat-moth : AO3 // Tumblr
Tensions run high in England, and Malcolm decides it's for the best he sends Baz to live with Fiona, where he'll be safer.
That is, until Baz's ship is attacked.
2) The Words I Long To Say (M) - @bazzybelle : AO3 // Tumblr
Simon Snow was dead.
Baz Pitch was sure of it. Simon had gone away seven years ago to fight a war in the jungle and he hadn't come home.
So, when Simon shows up in Baz's club, investigating a string of brutal murders, all Baz wants to do is hold him close and never let him go.
But these aren't the same boys from 1960 and Baz has a lot of processing to do before he's ready to believe in Simon again.
3) we are slaves to gods, whatever gods are (M) - @wellbelesbian : AO3 // Tumblr
I don’t fully understand what plagues him, but I know it’s bad, and I know it goes deeper than guilt. He didn’t want to kill his father, not really, but we were instructed to do so by Apollo. Cleanse the house of its sins, dispose of a murderer to set things right. It was only right that I join him; he was avenging my mother as much as his. Clearly, Apollo didn’t seem to consider that such an act would make Simon a murderer in his father’s place. It seems I got off fine, but as far as Simon is concerned, the vengeful spirits that once spun and danced on the roof of the palace now hunt him down, determined not to stop until he rids the world of himself.
4) World War II Era Art - @stardustasincocaine : Tumblr
TUESDAY:
1) the art of loving you (E) - @one-more-offbeat-anthem : AO3 // Tumblr
1955. London. Young love.
Forbidden love.
A year ago, starving artist Simon Snow met Baz Pitch, son of a wealthy art patron, at a party, and their days (and nights) together have been a wonderful secret.
But Simon is tired of being a secret and knows it's time for things to end.
(Baz has other ideas.)
2) Reliquary of an Arsonist (T) - @tea-brigade : AO3 // Tumblr
Simon Snow grew up a ward of Watford Abbey, but when his magic manifested in an explosive accident as a child, he became the Abbey’s anchorite—never to leave Watford’s walls, for his own protection. That is, until Abbot David sends him on an important errand…
Basilton Pitch paints portraits for his patron, Lord Grimm. But he’s never forgotten the magic he learned from his mother—nor the men who condemned her to death as a heretic. When Simon arrives and offers Baz a commission from Watford Abbey, he sees his chance to avenge his mother once and for all...and he’s willing to burn down everything in his path to that end.
But it was no coincidence that pulled these two unlikely souls together. Something more sinister is underway at Watford Abbey, and only Simon and Baz can uncover the truth before everything goes up in flames.
3) Westward Son (E) - @aristocratic-otter : AO3 // Tumblr
Simon and Baz have found each other again, but there's nowhere in Brooklyn or Virginia where they can safely be together. So now, they venture the hazards and struggles of the Oregon trail, to perhaps find a little homestead in Oregon of their own.
4) A Way Out (T) - @lying-on-the-sofa : AO3
I frown at him..“You don’t know me.”
He offers his hand. “Simon.”
Simon. I feel the name around in my mind and assign it to his face. Simon. I don’t shake his hand. They’ve still got my arms pinned. “Basilton.”
Simon nods at me. “Now we know each other. Let him go.” Very casually, he takes his other hand from behind his back. A sword, flashing. He leans on it and smiles invitingly. “Let him go.”
This time, they listen.
--
Simon Snow has been trained for years to become a tribute—one of the fighters Athens sends every ninth year into the Minotaur’s labyrinth. He wants to know the way out, if only for Penny’s sake. Luckily for him, Prince Basilton of Crete also wants a way out—off the island, where no one will know he’s the half-brother of the Minotaur.
Unluckily for both of them, they don’t exactly form the most agreeable pair.
WEDNESDAY
1) long is the road the leads me home (G) - @wellbelesbian : AO3 (Version 1) (Version 2) // Tumblr
Baz has a rather unremarkable life, and he's fine with that. Running his late mother's beloved inn with his temperamental aunt, estranged from his father and step-siblings, he's successfully convinced himself that he's better off without attachments.
Then Simon barrels into his life, guns blazing and rapier drawn, and Baz is swept up in dramatic plot he never bargained for.
Worse still, he finds he quite likes the thrill.
2) New Romantics (T) - @ninemagicks : AO3 // Tumblr
Basilton Pitch, twenty-two years old and a famed poet of the Romantic era, has fled to the countryside. In Mummers House, the fabled haunt of literary greats, he sulks himself into oblivion and awaits a sad, disappointing end to his brief years of brilliance. The cause of his downfall? None other than Simon Snow, the so-called “bad boy of English poetry”, breaker of rules and eternal thorn in his side. Baz hopes that Mummers House might mean an escape from London, from Snow and his increasingly virulent popularity... but the rain that comes has other ideas.
3) thnétos (T) - @snowybank : AO3 // Tumblr
thnétos: subject to death, mortal
a retelling of Apollo and Hyacinthus
4) A Medieval AU art piece - @thewriterxj : Tumblr
THURSDAY
1) From Eden (E) - @orange-peony : AO3 // Tumblr
I wonder if his skin is warm or cold to the touch. I tell myself it’s simple curiosity, that I’m an artist and capturing things on paper or canvas is my way to make sense of the world. That drawing him feels so natural, so I should just follow my instincts. Ebb used to say it all the time. Follow your heart. It knows where you’re supposed to go.
I wish I could. I wish I had enough money and freedom to just draw what I want. To paint him in his unattainable beauty. To draw him the way I want to. Naked and vulnerable, raw. Without frills and expensive suits.
Just Baz on paper, my fingers tracing his delicate and beautiful lines with simple charcoal.
2) Slings and Eros (M) - @palimpsessed : AO3 // Tumblr
Young god of love Simonides is tasked by his father, the god of war, to bring about the ruin of a mortal prince to punish his blasphemy. However, once Simonides sees his intended victim, he begins to have misgivings. Prince Tyrannus might have offended the gods with his very existence, but all Simonides can see is how beautiful and lonely he is.
Or, a very loose interpretation of the Eros and Psyche myth.
3) I Don't Want to Set the World on Fire (M) - @knitbelove : AO3 // Tumblr
September 1940: Going back to Watford feels different this year, and not just because England is at the brink of war with Germany and Italy. Penelope seems unsettled by everything, and Agatha is distant, and Baz is … simply not here.
What if Carry On but during the Blitz?? Yeah.
4) A Fool's Oath (M) - @thewriterxj : AO3 // Tumblr
A simple soldier is invited to join the ranks of the royal guard. He and his appointed mage arrive at the royal city to find themselves at the mercy of an unmerciful court. As he struggles to find his place in this foreign environment, he also finds himself entranced by music that only he seems to hear that floats out about the city. He makes an oath to wed whoever makes such beautiful music.
Too bad that person is the crown prince.
FRIDAY
1) Stranger Tides (T) - @tea-brigade & @xivz : AO3 // Tumblr
“If some god shall wreck me in the wine-dark deep, even so I will endure…” Captain Simon Snow of the Chosen One is many things—cunning, handsome, ruthless. Greedy. It’s no surprise that Snow finds a way to piss off the God of the Sea, he always manages to get himself into some type of trouble. This time, however, he’s not the only one who will suffer the consequences. Poseidon promises to not stop his pursuit until Snow and all of his men are dead.
Enter Basilton Pitch—rich, beautiful, mysterious. Suspicious. He offers the crew of the Chosen One a hefty sum to take him back to Europe from the Caribbean. And who is Captain Snow to refuse so much coin? After all, Greek gods aren’t real.
Right?
2) The wayward heir [comic] (M) - @letraspal : AO3 // Tumblr
Like a folk song, our love will be passed on. Simon Snow wants to be an artist. He used to live in Fiesole where he worked in the wool shop of his good friend Ebeneza Petty. He has now chosen to return to his native Florence in order to participate in an art contest hosted by the Pitch family, the most important bankers in all the three continents and Simon’s last chance for an art patronage. No matter how much he hates them.
But being back in Florence also brings back the memories Simon wanted to leave behind : his days as an orphan, the mystery about his mother, and once more being under the inquisitive eyes of his godfather, the new archbishop Davy. The archbishop is very same man who would never forgive him for dropping out the priesthood and ruining his secret plans against the Pitches.
The last thing Simon needed was an unbearably handsome jerk getting him into trouble on his very first day in Florence. How can focus when this man is the most annoying person he has ever met and yet his major source of inspiration.
3) Prohibition Blues (T) - @heyyyandrea : AO3
Simon Snow is a baker and aspiring playwright in Prohibition Era New York City. When he meets a handsome man at Shepherd's speakeasy who is interested in his work, he can't help but think it feels too good to be true.
4) Earth Below & Sky Above (M) - @phoxphyre : AO3 // Tumblr
In the depth of the palace of King Minos of Crete lurks a creature known as the Minotaur.
Baz, prince of Athens and chosen of the god Poseidon, has heard the stories. And now he’s volunteered to come to Crete as one of the annual tributes—to dance with the king’s bulls and fulfill his destiny. He just wants to survive the bulls, protect his people, and go home.
But what if the Minotaur isn’t a monster—but just a boy? And what if instead of slaying him, Baz fell in love with him?
A Carry On retelling of the myth of Theseus and the Minotaur, set in Bronze Age Crete.
5) A 1980s AU Art piece by @stardustasincocaine : Tumblr // Instagram (Slightly NSFW)
99 notes · View notes
the-broken-truth · 3 years
Text
The Dollmaker's Healer - Yandere Donna Benevieto x Reader (Part 2)
[The Day Before Donna's Final Treatment]
"Y/N, are you okay, dear? You seem to be spacing out on me." A heavenly voice called out to you. You look to your right and come face to face with a tan-skinned woman with long flowing chestnut hair and emerald green eyes. You took an exhale and grabbed her hand in yours before lifting it to your lips and place a kiss on the back of it.
"Forgive me, love; I'm a bit distracted again." You apologized - this wasn't the time to be distracted, not on your date with Amelie.
"It's alright, Y/N; I know you have a lot on your plate with new clients so you would be distracted but you need to take care of yourself too, ya know." Amelie said as she moved closer to you on the bench you were sitting on; now shoulder to shoulder with you.
"I know and you're right - it is about work; well, more about a client of mine. Do you know Donna Beneviento?" You ask her.
"The Head of the House Beneviento? Yes, everyone has heard of her but not too many people see her - she's more isolated than the other lords that serve under Mother Miranda - well, not as isolated as Lord Moreau; you never really see him in the village at all." Amelie said.
"Yeah, well - she's why I'm so distracted. Tomorrow is her last dosage and I'm not looking forward to it." You exhaled.
"Why?" Amelie questioned.
"She... Let's just say she wants more from me; for example - she didn't want me to date you; literally told me 'no, I wasn't allowed to see you.'." You said imitating Donna's voice.
"I see - and you have a session with her tomorrow so you're a bit on edge." Amelie said with concern laced in her voice.
"Yeah. I know she gets lonely but I don't think it would be wise to spend too much time with her; she seems...clingy." You say - trying to use as kind of words as you could without sounding like a horrible person.
"Well," Amelie began as she rested her head on your shoulder "I'd be lonely too if I was in her shoes - I really do feel for Lady Beneviento; no one should be as alone as she is." Amelie said as the two of you watched the full moon.
"Yeah, I guess you're right." You said as you rested your head on hers
[Meanwhile - At the Beneviento House]
Donna stood before her vanity - her veil cast aside on the bed - glazing upon her face; her perfect face. She ran her hand along the right side of her face, amazed at how smooth it was - there was no trace of the Cadou present on her face, in addition, her mortal scar was gone as well. Her face looked just as her portrait did. And it was all because of them...
"All because of My Healer." Donna said in a hushed voice as she continued to stroke the side of her face.
"They won't be yours if you don't stop that whore from taking them from you, Mother." Angie said from her place on the bed.
"I know, Angie." Donna removed her hand from her face and turned to look at her doll. "Tomorrow is the last day for my treatment and I'll make sure they don't leave me." She walked over to the window and looked out of it at the estate across the waterfalls' gap. "Angie."
"Yes, Mother?" The doll asked as she floated up to Donna.
"I need you to take a few of your friends and...leave a present for that disgraceful woman." Angie smirked at her mother's request and floated out of the room, leaving Donna to look at L/N Estate.
'Tomorrow - everything will fall into place, my love. That whore will be out of the picture...and we will be together.' Donna brought to fingers to her lips, placing a small kiss upon them, then placed it on the glass on the window in the direction of L/N Estate.
[The Next Day]
Donna sat at the table with a cup of peppermint tea as she wanted - Angie had been out last night and she couldn't be more excited. Soon, a knock came on the door.
"Who is it?" Donna asked with a small smile - already knowing who it was.
"It's Y/N. I'm here for the last treatment."
"Please, do come in. The door is open." Donna said.
The door opened and Y/N came in with the vial and the syringe.
"Good Morning, Y/N." Donna rose to her feet and greeted the healer.
"Good Morning, Lady Beneviento." Y/N replied as they walked over to the table.
"Y/N, please don't call me that." Donna asked as she took her seat again.
"I already told you that I have gotten too comfortable to the point you felt the need to..."Y/N was cut off.
"And I want to apologize for that." Donna said as she looked at her hands in her lap.
"Apologize?" Y/N asked with a raised eyebrow.
"I was in the wrong - I was acting clingy and it was not my right because you are not my child nor are you my significate other. It's just... I've been alone for so long and you were the first person - other than Mother Miranda - to accept me for who I was and what I looked like. You were like... a breath of fresh air in my lungs; something that made me happy and I thought I was going to lose you. Please... Do forgive me for what I said and how I acted." Donna finished, turning her gaze from Y/N, who looked wide-eyed at Donna's words.
"I...I'm sorry too, Donna." Y/N said as they filled the syringe with the Cadou Sealer.
"Now, as I can see, the Cadou shrunk down to the desired size but to make sure that it doesn't grow back this little shot will coat the Cadou with a seal that will stop it from growing up you can still use the abilities you have." Y/N said as they walked over to Donna and started the shot. Once it was over - the two of them sat and talked, making amends of what happened a few days ago, and drank tea. Y/N asked Donna where Angie was and was told she was somewhere else in the house; maybe in her room, talking with her doll friends. The talk was nice until Y/N said they had to leave for their date; Donna saw them out and said...
"I hope your date goes well. Please, do let me know what happens." Donna gave them a smile and a wave as they left the house; once the door was closed, a wide grin spread across Donna's face.
[A Few Days Later]
Donna and Angie were sitting and drinking tea when a very weak knock comes on the door - this time, Donna got up to answer the door herself. Once it opened, the teary-eyed face of Y/N L/N was there.
"Y/N? What are you doing here? Wait, why are you crying?" Donna asked as the young lord/lady fell into her arms, clenching her in a hug, and sobbed.
"S...She's gone." Y/N sobbed. "She left me, Donna."
"What? Who left you?" Donna asked as she stroked the back of the estate owner.
"Amelie...she's gone." Y/N sobbed again.
Donna brought the young one in a sat them down at the table and asked what happened.
Y/N told her about how Amelie's Body was found in the forest along with the body of a well-known village playboy - both of them were ripped apart, as if by some wild animal. It was revealed by Amelie's Father that she was seeing both the playboy and Y/N at the same time; this broke Y/N's heart even more - the girl they loved was dead and it turned out she wasn't as faithful as she played to be.
Y/N sat there a sobbed before Donna walked over to them and hugged their sitting form - their head resting on her chest, listening to her heart.
"Hush now, my dear. Everything will be alright, I am here for you and I shall always be here for you - to hold you and keep you safe. To love you." Donna's hands moved to Y/N's cheeks, making them emotionally weak human look into her black eyes; mystery shrouded in them.
"I will be everything she was not - I will be faithful to you, my heart will be yours and yours alone... just so long as your heart belongs to me and only me." There was a dangerous gleam in Donna's eyes as a mist seemed to fill Y/N's and a blush crept upon their face. "Give your heart to me, Love, and I shall give you all you could ever ask for. Just say 'yes', my love. Say yes...and be mine." Donna's lips were a few centimeters from Y/N - so close but not quite there yet; she wanted to hear the word before she did anything for them.
"D...Donna..."Y/N tried to think but it all hurt - their heart was aching, their mind was swimming in thoughts but before them was a powerful woman who was willing to be there for them - to love them.
"Just say yes, my healer...and let me heal you."
"Yes." It was said.
Donna's lips locked with Y/N's, finally tasting her healer's essence - it was sweet. Her tongue explored her healer as the lord/lady gave themselves to Donna completely; just wanting the hurt to fade away. Donna finally broke the kiss to let them breathe and looked into their eyes with a Cheshire Cat grin.
"You are mine, now and forever; my healer."
[The End]
255 notes · View notes
robininthelabyrinth · 4 years
Note
anything with jin zixuan marrying into the jiang sect, instead of jiang yanli marrying out?
ao3
It wasn’t that Jin Zixuan didn’t love his mother – he did, he truly did. He loved her, he supported her, he stood by her side in every argument. He would do anything within his power to help her get everything that she wanted.
It was only that he took a very reasonable look at the circumstances and realized he couldn’t. He couldn’t get her the one thing she’d always counted for.
He couldn’t win the right of succession to be Sect Leader Jin.
Maybe if his mother had managed to stop his father from bringing home all his bastards – there were nineteen of them, all together, and those were just the ones that were willing to admit it so who even knew – he might’ve had a better chance, given that he was after all the sole legitimate son. But legitimacy only took you so far: he was neither the oldest of the children, nor the most capable, nor the most cunning. He wasn’t even the best connected, despite his maternal family’s support; that honor went to another one of his siblings, born to an especially well-connected family through unspecified circumstances that might or might not involve rape but which sufficient money had plastered over.
The only thing Jin Zixuan had going for him was his legitimacy, but his father had long ago taught him - however inadvertently - that there wasn’t anything magical about a wedding ceremony that made him better suited to the role of sect leader.
What’s more, in his heart of hearts, Jin Zixuan didn’t even want it.
He wasn’t – he didn’t really like fighting. Or politics, or scheming, or any of it. It just wasn’t his personality. He didn’t like games of influence, he didn’t like backstabbing people that trusted him, he didn’t like gossiping and slandering and not being able to believe in people’s good faith and any of that, and no matter how much his mom pushed him, he didn’t think he’d ever like it. 
But that was what Lanling Jin did, what Jilin Tower was like, and if he wanted to take up the Sect Leader’s seat and reside in the Fragrant Palace, he had to get over himself and accept that that’s what the rest of his life would be like.
Forever.
Until someone murdered him and took his place, anyway. It almost felt inevitable, sometimes. 
Or, because he really truly didn’t want the job, because he really truly didn’t want to die, he could try to think of something else. Some way out.
For example, he could, and did, go to Jin Ziyao and ask him for help.
Jin Ziyao stared at him, eyes narrow and calculating as they so rarely were – he was very good at keeping a bland polite smile on his face, the best at it of all the people Jin Zixuan had ever met, and he’d met a lot. 
“That’s an interesting thing to say, brother,” he said, gently eliding as always the fact that they were the same age, born on the same day to different mothers. “Very interesting indeed. I must ask, though - why are you saying it to me?”
“Because you’d be the best at the job,” Jin Zixuan said honestly. He really thought so: Jin Ziyao was smart and clever, cunning enough to wear a kind face and tricky enough to actually pull off the impression of actually being kind, since people were more willing to forgive kind people, but also ambitious and ruthless enough to survive and maybe even thrive in the political world the way Jin Zixuan wasn’t. “And because you’re smart enough to come up with a way for me to get out of this without dying, if you wanted to.”
“Flattery will get you nowhere. Why would I want to?”
And that was the rub, wasn’t it? Jin Zixuan was the legitimate son, the rightful heir, and his father, their father, was just as likely to name Jin Zixuan as the next sect leader no matter how unfit for the role he was on nothing more than that basis as he was to name anyone else with a much stronger claim. 
It was in everyone else’s best interest to kill him, if they were ambitious.
Maybe not his sisters. They wouldn’t inherit no matter what happened to him.
(Sometimes Jin Zixuan wished he was lucky enough to be born a nobody, little Jin Ziyu, who just wanted to play with make-up and avoid all contact with his maternal Mo family. Nobody cared about Jin Ziyu, and everyone liked it that way.)
“You know my position,” Jin Zixuan explained. He didn’t need to say it out loud; he was bitterly aware that it was basically his only personality trait: legitimate heir of Jin Guangshan, the rich boy everyone thought would be the next sect leader unless someone else got in the way. “My support could be worth something to you.”
“Especially if it’s sincere,” Jin Ziyao murmured, looking thoughtful, contemplative. It wasn’t an outright no, anyway, or at least not yet. “And you would be sincere, wouldn’t you?”
“There’s a reason I said that I’m not fit for the role,” Jin Zixuan replied, his voice dry to hide the fact that his heart was in his throat. Jin Ziyao was the one most likely to succeed in finding a way to get him out of this mess, but he was also the most likely to figure out a way to kill him without being blamed for it, too.  There was a reason he’d come to him, but that reason was the danger - who was to say that Jin Ziyao wouldn’t decide it’d be safer to kill him, and to use this to accomplish it? He could be signing his own death warrant. “And even if you’re smart, competent, good at managing things, well-connected, and well-liked, you can still use my help.”
Jin Ziyao had only a single fault: his mother had been a prostitute. People still judged him for that, something which made no sense to Jin Zixuan whatsoever – it wasn’t Jin Ziyao’s fault what his mother did before he was born – but it meant he lacked legitimacy even more than the others. 
Having the legitimate son backing his claim would be a strong argument in favor of overlooking that.
“You know your mother won’t like it,” Jin Ziyao said. Testing, probing; he hadn’t agreed yet.
“I know,” Jin Zixuan said simply. “But I hope that she’d like me being dead less.”
He wasn’t actually sure about that. His mother loved him, yes, but he had never entirely determined if she loved him for himself or as an extension of herself – a symbol of what she would be fighting towards. A sign that her struggles with her husband had a purpose, that all her humiliation would one day be worth it.
That one day, when he was sect leader, she would become the true power in Lanling through him. 
(Jin Zixuan didn’t know what she imagined would happen to all his illegitimate brothers and sisters in that situation, and he didn’t want to; it put a sick feeling in his gut to think about it – which he supposed meant he did know, after all, what she would want, but was instead choosing to ignore it.)
Jin Ziyao studied him for a long moment, presumably trying to analyze his sincerity and how firm he was on the idea. 
Jin Zixuan didn’t rush him, knowing it was a gamble on his side as well: it would be worse for him to help Jin Zixuan out of the line of succession only for Jin Zixuan to change his mind down the road. It would make him look bad, make him a target for the others, and the backstabbing nature of Lanling politics meant that luring someone in with a request for aid was exactly the sort of trap someone might lay out.
Sometimes, Jin Zixuan was really, really tired of Lanling.
Maybe something of that showed on his face, because just when he was starting to lose hope, Jin Ziyao abruptly nodded – almost to himself – and said, “All right. How about your marriage?”
“What about my marriage?” Jin Zixuan asked, puzzled. 
He’d been engaged to his mother’s best friend’s daughter since before he was born, and amazingly enough the engagement had held despite everything – probably because they had barely met, to be perfectly honest. And also the fact that being surrounded by brothers that hid daggers in their smiles gave Jin Zixuan enough experience to realize that he was being deliberately incited when his so-called friends started telling him that he deserved better than a girl most often described simply as being nice.
After all, he’d already started doubting by that time that he even deserved the accident of his legitimate birth, so forget deserving any girl.
Also, being nice sounded…rather nice, actually. Certainly a relief, assuming she was actually nice rather than just pretending to be the way so many of his sisters were.
(None of them liked her, which suggested she might be.)
“You should get to know your intended better,” Jin Ziyao said. “Visit her more often.”
Jin Zixuan really wasn’t seeing the connection between that and his request for assistance, and Jin Ziyao’s gaze softened a little bit, though Jin Zixuan wasn’t sure if it was with sympathy or merely pity.
“It’ll make it easier for you,” he clarified. “For when you marry in.”
Marry in?
Marry in. The Jiang sect was a Great Sect, with enough power and influence to make unreasonable demands – and his father desperately wanted the alliance with them. If they could be convinced to demand that he marry in rather than having Jiang Yanli marry out, pointing to their smaller numbers or the tragedies that had befallen their sect…
Jiang Cheng would like having his sister around. He was also notoriously standoffish around women, and had viciously rejected any effort to be matched with one of the illegitimate Jin girls; it might even be possible to suggest to his father that allowing Jin Zixuan to marry in would mean that there was a chance that Jiang Cheng would be willing to leave his sect to a nephew surnamed Jiang, winning the Jin sect both an alliance and inheritance all at once.
Best of all, it had to be him. The Jiang sect had only agreed to the engagement because of Madame Yu’s friendship with his mother, not for any political reason; if his father tried to substitute him with someone else, they might break it entirely…
And someone who married out couldn’t be the heir.
“You’re a genius,” Jin Zixuan told his brother, who smiled crookedly in acknowledgement. “What should I do? Do I just – go over there? Send a letter? I can’t write letters…”
“Let me think about it,” Jin Ziyao said. “I’m sure I can come up with something more subtle than you.”
635 notes · View notes
pretend-writer · 3 years
Text
Down Below (Chapter 78)
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Summary: After being sent down on Earth with the other prisoners from the Ark, Y/N Reyes faces series of events and learns about survival. With new things happening around her, she is now starting a new chapter in her life.
Pairing: Bellamy Blake x reader, John Murphy x reader, Raven Reyes x sister!reader
Word Count: 2k words
Warning: swearing, mention of death and violence
✤  ·  ✤  ·  ✤  ·  ✤  ·  ✤
Couple of McCreary's criminals stayed behind with the guards, with a help of Indra watching over them. Meanwhile, I've decided to interrupt Russell with a surprise visit.
I insisted I'd go alone, the less people the better especially knowing that Russell wasn't quite the violent type; There was no way he’d lay his hands on me, I had no worries about him at all. He had killed Clarke because of his greed, I highly doubt that he'd kill more of us out of anger.
Some people disagreed with me, not surprised. Of course Bellamy, Josephine and Murphy wanted to come with me, Jordan wished to tag along too. Delilah being sacrificed for the prime hit him pretty hard, I didn't blame him for wanting to confront him.
As we barged into the lab, we were greeted with a startled look on all of their faces. Simone and Emori instantly looked upset, Abby looked like she was dying for her next fix.
'How in the hell did you guys escape?' Simone cursed, stepping up in front of me.
'It's not very hard, you know. Now would you guys be so kind and give us back the blood you made.' Murphy took out his hand, motioning them to hand it over.
Approaching fast, Emori reached for John's hand. 'John, what are you doing?'
'We can't let them continue to deceive and kill their innocent people, it's not right. Now they got us involved too.'
'Just hand us the damn blood.' I walked over to Simone that had it in her hands, 'Haven't you guys lived enough already?'
Simone chuckled, 'You don't get it do you?'
'What, killing people thinking their sacrificing themselves to false Gods? Of course I don't get it, I'm not a homicidal bitch like you.'
She reached her hand out, smacking my cheek while holding the blood in her other hand. I couldn't react and get her back as Bellamy was quicker than me, grabbing Simone's collar. 'Get your fucking hands off of her.'
'Let go of my wife!' Russell screamed at Bellamy, trying to reach over her but was suddenly distracted by Murphy.
He had snatched the blood off of Simone's hand, laughing as he hugged it in his arms. 'You guys are awfully slow.'
'Do you really think that's a smart move, Murphy?' Russell rolled his eyes. 'One word and the guards will storm in here and shoot you without a warning.'
'You shoot me, I drop this bad boy and the blood is destroyed. You really want to do this Russell?'
He huffed, turned to look at Emori and back to John. 'You fucked everything up, you know? I trusted Emori when she said you were with us.'
'That's your own fault for trusting her, I never agreed to this. I honestly just want you dead.'
'What do you guys want from this anyway? Why do you care what our community is doing? These people believe in us, believe that the Primes store peace and prosperity to Sanctum.'
How can that come out of Simone's mouth? Saying that their community chose to sacrifice their lives for a God that they've made up? 'They sacrifice themselves because they believe in the lies you told them. I care because you're killing your own people.'
'Can we just compromise? Agree to disagree and live on with our lives as we did these past few days?' Josephine tried to be the middle of man of this, siding with her family as well us siding with us.
'I thought I made a deal to compromise with Russell but he chose to betray me instead.' I looked at Josephine, understanding where she was coming from but hoping that she will finally realize that what her family has been doing is completely wrong. 'This outcome is all your father's fault. I didn't want any of this to happen.'
'Whatever happens to me and my people are none of your damn business! What we do does not concern you at all!' Simone raised her voice at me, veins tracing down her face as she seemed angry as ever.
'Now that you're getting us involved, it certainly is. We don't have to make these stupid blood for you, you know that right?'
Murphy's POV;
Y/N and Simone have been yelling at each other for quite sometime now, I'd want to help her but I wasn't in the position to defend her. Besides, she could handle herself well.
Simone's facial expression changed as she heard the words come out of Y/N's mouth, it was as if she had triggered her.
'I've had enough of your attitude already.' Simone screamed as she charged at Y/N, punching her in her stomach.
Before I was able to jump in to help, Y/N grabbed her arm, twisting it to the opposite direction that had Simone scream even louder. Turning her whole body around, she then kicked her back which had her falling next to Russell.
As Simone fell to the ground, she breathed. 'What happened to no violence?'
'You fucking punched me in the gut, I'm not just going to stand there.'
Just as I was about to make a snarky comment at Simone, Abby had snatched the blood from my hand. I quickly turned to her, 'What are you doing?'
Abby wasn't listening and instead ran out the lab. All of us trailed her from behind, ending up next to the airlock chamber. She had locked herself in the chamber, attempting to float herself and the nightblood with her.
Her hand was on the lever, her other arm tightly holding onto the nightblood. Y/N approached closer to her, trying convince her from the other side of the airlock. 'Abby, let's rethink this okay?'
'Don't fucking tell me what to do!' Abby yelled, tears running down her cheeks. 'Why do you care anyway, they lose the blood and you get to see me float myself. Win-win situation for you, I'd say.'
Y/N huffed, shaking her head. 'Don't be fucking stupid. I don't agree with you nor did I enjoy being threatened by you at the bunker but I don't want you dead, Abby.'
'I've lost everything, Y/N!' Abby started to sob, 'Russell killed my daughter, Marcus left me. I have nothing left, what do you know about loss?'
'We've all lost something, Abby.' I approached her also, standing next to Y/N. 'You guys sent us down to Earth when we were only kids, when we barely understood right from wrong. A lot of us lost parents, not that I really cared but some do. I understand that you're angry and frustrated but don't tell us we don't know how you're feeling.'
Y/N had never fully told me what happened down at the bunker, all I know is that Abby had done something to her, something that she will never forgive her for. She never told me the whole story, said that she wanted to forget everything because it was so awful what happened.
Even with all the altercation between her and Abby, Y/N was still trying to stop her from floating herself out of the airlock. I know how much the bunker had messed her up, I was honestly surprised that she was willing to help Abby.
‘Why are you trying so hard to help me? I’m the one that’s responsible for your misery right?’ Abby looked straight into Y/N’s eyes.
‘Like I said, I don't want you dead. I'll never forget what happened but we can always work our way to forgive. We’ve all worked our way through hell, we can get through this too.’
I admire Y/N’s strength, which are one of the reasons why I loved her so much. Watching her fight for Abby made me feel stupid about letting her go, being dumb enough to not say I love you back to her.
Abby nodded her head, ‘You’re right Y/N. You’re right. I’m sorry.’
She opened the airlock and slowly walking out as Y/N rubbed her hand on Abby’s back, trying to comfort her while she continued to sob.
'Maybe it's time to end all this, dad. We've done enough already.' Josephine said, surprisingly. Perhaps all of this have overwhelmed her, finally understanding that it wasn't worth the pain they were causing.
Russell inhaled dramatically, rolling his eyes as everyone had their eyes on Y/N and Abby. ‘Don't be a fool, Josie. It's never over.'
'If that's how you feel, so be it.’ Abby suddenly shoved Y/N to the side, pulling Simone from behind her and yanking her into the airlock chamber with her. Bellamy, having the faster instinct, caught Y/N before she fell to the ground.
‘Let me out, Russell! Help me, please!’ Simone banged on the glass from the other side as Abby locked the chamber again. ‘Anybody, help me out please!’
‘Simone!’ Russell looked at Bellamy, Jordan and then to me, panic all over his eyes as he tried to look for help. ‘Please get my wife out of there.’
Abby shook her head, ‘It’s too late now.’
Y/N pushed Bellamy’s arms out of her way, running towards the airlock as she screamed. ‘Abby, don-’
She was too late, Abby had pulled the lever as if she was committed to do so. Abby seemed as though she was ready to float herself, I doubt that Y/N would've convinced herself otherwise.
Bellamy pressed the button to close the airlock, comforting Y/N as she looked distraught. It was selfish of me to feel jealousy towards Bellamy, when Y/N needed someone to lean on when one of our people had died tragically. I couldn’t help it, I was mad at myself for fucking everything up.
Josephine and Russell on the other hand was emotionless, Simone was gone faster than the snap of a finger. They’ve probably haven’t gotten the grasp of any of this, since they were not familiar with the floating method.
‘What... did you guys do...’ Russell mumbled, staring into space as if he was staring at a ghost.
‘Seems like Abby took your wife for taking her own daughter away from her. Fair trade I should say.’ Jordan said angrily. I didn’t think he had it in him to say such harsh words, even though we all know we were all thinking the same thing.
Josephine shook her head. ‘We did a shitty thing, I know. But was that really fair? How dare you say that, she murdered my mother!’
‘Just how you murdered our friend! Just as how you murdered Delilah, she didn’t know the whole truth about what she was sacrificing herself for!’ Jordan took a step toward Josephine, screaming his lungs out. ‘Your family has been doing this for years, there’s no excuse for that!’
A sudden loud bang echoed, Jordan falling hard onto the floor without saying another word. Josephine screamed, looking at her father with a gun in his hand which was aimed towards Jordan.
Josephine froze into place as the rest of us ran towards Jordan to see if he was alright, but it was too late once again. He was already bleeding to death, bullet going straight through his chest.
'None of you guys move or I will shoot again.'
Everything had clicked; I really should've had killed Russell when I had the chance. I could've protected Jordan, I bet Monty was ashamed of me and all of us that it ended up being this way.
Or maybe Y/N was right, if we just accepted the trade, no one would end up getting hurt. Sure, Russell would still live but he wouldn't be an issue as long as he stayed in Sanctum.
None of this would've happened if I'd just stopped Emori from this, while we were marching back to the ship. I could've said something before we left Sanctum. There were so many chances where I could've stopped this and I did nothing.
And now Russell is unpredictable, all hell broke loose and he had gone insane. His lover was gone, forever and there was no going back. Abby and Jordan were gone and we might lose more of our people, even lose the love of my life because of my stupid choice.
76 notes · View notes
whitexwingedxdoves · 3 years
Text
losing grip | one shot
Tumblr media
Pairing: Maggie Rhee x Platonic! Reader Warnings: Language, Angst. Summary: It had been years since your best friend disappeared and you never thought that when she returned, it would end up in an argument.  A/N: ahhhhhhhhh, I hope you all like this one! I worked really hard on it and it’s an idea i’ve had for the longest time. 
It was quiet in Alexandria today, the wall was almost finished and the new builds were well underway.  Standing in your kitchen, you hovered over Negan who attempted to work some kind of magic on the pipes under your kitchen sink. It seemed like he was finally finished after making a few comments on how clogged your drain had become.
“So is it fixed now?” you seemed a little short with the former saviour but he still managed to strike up that obnoxious smile, wiping away any dirt from his hands with one of your fresh hand towels.
“All done.” He threw the towel to the side and flicked the tap on to prove his handy work.
This time you offered him a genuine smile and the room filled with silence. You were still trying to get used to Negan being a part of the group and it was hard but you had to try, you promised Judith. Which is why you accepted his offer to help with your plumbing.
But it’s hard to let someone in when they took someone away from you.
“Better go,” he spoke softly before pushing past you, making his way to the door. You nodded in his direction and watched as the door closed behind him.
You had never felt so conflicted before, on one hand you hated Negan more than you’ve ever hated anyone but on the other hand, he was proving that he was trying to change and you couldn’t deny what he had done for the community.
You couldn’t dwell too much, the sound of your door reopening caught your attention. It was Carol this time, a welcomed distraction.
“Knock knock.” Her perky spirit only confirmed her visit was a good one. Thank god. “You have a visitor!”
With her ominous words, you cocked a brow and peaked around her as she pushed your door back open.
You recognised that face instantly.
The day Maggie left you were on a run, the details of that day had been lost throughout the years but the one thing that remained sketched on your memory was the way you felt when Enid broke the news that your best friend had left, without a word. For years you’d cooked up the perfect speech for when Maggie finally returned, if she ever did. You’d rehearsed it in the shower, in bed at night when it seemed impossible to fall asleep and every moment in between the words you had so carefully thought out would play on repeat in the back of your mind.
Now, with Maggie Rhee standing right in front of you, your carefully thought out speech seemed to completely disappear along with all the anger you held. None of it mattered now because she was there, right in front of you... in the flesh. That infectious smile gleaming on her face as if nothing happened. It broke you. You ran into her arms and held her so close that you were sure if she was any closer you’d become one person.
Tears stained her shirt as you sobbed into her shoulder, she was crying too which only made you sob harder. You never wanted to let go, scared she might take off again if you did and you most definitely wouldn’t let anyone or anything take her away from you now that you had her back.
Eventually, you did let go and when you did you noticed that Carol had left, giving you both space to really catch up.
“I’ve missed you,” you managed to whisper.
Maggie’s head dropped a little, a look of guilt washing away her smile. It seemed a lot was being unsaid, but neither you nor Maggie felt now was the right time to bring it up.
“So, what do you get up to?” you forced small talk, guiding the woman to your dining table and offering her a seat.  
“Everything” she laughed, taking a seat right beside you.
You laughed along with her, it was nice to hear her laugh again... it was nice to hear her again. You fumbled with your fingers, picking at the dead skin at the sides of your fingernails.
You can tell Maggie was feeling some type of way, her body was closed off and she could barely even look you in the eye.
“Maggie, it’s-“ just as you opened your mouth, you noticed the expression on the widow change and she cut you off.
“How could you just let him into your home like that?” Finally she looked you in the eyes but just not in the way you had expected.
 “After everything he’s taken from us!” Her eyes seemed to fill with tears but you knew by the way her words hissed, they weren’t tears of sadness. She was mad and confused. You could hardly blame her but yet you still bit at her words.
“Are you kidding me right now? Maggie you’ve been gone for years!” A squeak broke your voice and your tears matching Maggie’s “You have no idea what we’ve dealt with, what we’ve done to make sure we stay safe.” You could feel your heart beating out of your chest and tried desperately to stabilize your breathing but it didn’t seem to work. 
“And you think Negan is the answer to that?” The woman scoffed, shaking her head. You had only ever seen her this mad once. 
“Negan has done more for this community recently than anyone else. He put Alexandria first when the rest of us were too wrapped up in our own bullshit, so yes Maggie, he was the answer!” It felt like a fever dream, never had you imagined you’d plead Negan’s case to the women whose life he destroyed. 
Maggie’s face seemed to harden, her jaw clenched and the tears just stopped rolling down her face. Her head slowly tilted in your direction and it seemed like a lifetime had passed since someone had spoken. Once her eyes settled on yours a tear finally fell and she spoke in the softest tone you had known her to use “So is that enough to forgive him for what he’s done or have you just forgotten?” 
You were in pure disbelief. Have you forgotten? It seems like she had forgotten. 
“How dare you say that, I lost people too because of him! It wasn’t just you!” Perhaps you shouldn’t have said that. You did lose people but she lost the most. 
There it was again, that silence. You had to break it, you couldn’t allow yourself to dwell on your words. “You left me Maggie, you left me on my own” You whispered, wiping away the fresh tears with your thumb. It was like you were reliving the moment, like you were right back at Hilltop being told by Enid that your best friend had gone. 
You pushed away from the table and paced the room, chewing your bottom lip as you thought over your words. “You didn’t even tell me you were going! You just left me when I needed you the most!” Turning to finally meet Maggie’s gaze, you were taken back by her expression. 
She looked so sad, which in return made you feel guilty. You hated that it was your doing that she felt that way, almost making you forget why you said those things in the first place.
“I needed to get away,” Maggie snapped but the look of regret never left her face.
A scoff left your lips as you listened to her poor excuse “You’re all I have left in this world, Maggie and you just left because you couldn’t handle it? I could have gone with you if-“
“No.” Taken back by her words, you furrowed your brow as you waited for her explanation but it never seemed to come.
“What do you mean, no?” You were scared of her answer but you needed it. Maybe it would help you get over six years of being in the dark. 
“I couldn’t be near you.” It felt like someone had ripped your heart out of your chest. You struggled to find air and instantly fumbled for something to hold onto.  “You remind me everything I’ve lost” It was like she was trying to soften the blow but it only made it worse. 
You clutched onto the kitchen counter behind you and used it as an aid to control your breathing but for the second time today, the sound of your front door swinging open became a welcomed distraction. 
This time it wasn’t Carol. 
A little boy ran across your kitchen and into the arm’s of Maggie and there was no confusion on who that little boy was. 
Hershel. 
You watched as he wrapped his arms around his mother with a smile that matched hers. It was almost as if you were dreaming. The last time you saw Hershal Rhee, he was struggling to walk and form sentences and giggling at your attempts to play peek-a-boo. 
“Mommy, is this Auntie Y/N? The one you always talk about?” The boy questioned his mother, finally looking over at you. 
God did he melt your heart. 
Your eyes filled with tears, as Maggie nodded at the small child. With confirmation on who you were, Hershel giggled remembering a story his mother once told him about how scared you were of chicken’s when she had first met you. You’d have laughed too. 
He was wearing a baseball cap, just like the ones that Glenn used to wear, and it broke your heart just looking at him. 
He looked so much like his father that it hurt to look for too long but you simply couldn’t take your eyes off him. That’s when you realised that Maggie would never accept Negan, despite what good he’s done or will do, she had a constant reminder of what he was capable of. 
Hershel pushed away from his mother and walked in your direction. When he got closer, he stretched his arms out, welcoming you into a hug and you caved instantly. 
You wrapped your arms around the boy and held him tightly, just hoping you weren’t hurting him. With all you had, you held back the tears and pulled away from Hershel when he squirmed slightly but still gave you his best smile when you came face to face. 
“Mommy was excited to see you again!”  He looked over his shoulder, just to make sure he hadn’t stepped out of place with his words because just like his name sake, he was taught to be polite, after all he was part Greene. 
You too looked over at Maggie and watched as her eyes softened at his words, only slightly peering up at you. 
“We were both excited.” Hershel corrected himself.  
Maggie fumbled with her back pockets, keeping her tears at bay as she watched the wholesome moment unravel. It was good for her son to be here, around the people who helped her get to this point but the lingering thought of Negan made it hard for her to fully commit to her return home. 
“Mommy, can I go play with RJ?” Once his mother gave him a nod, Hershel’s face lit up and he made a run for the door. 
Without a second thought, the two of you followed him outside, stopping at the railings of your porch to quietly observe. There was something infectious about the way the two boys laughed as they played, so much so you found yourself giggling along with them, Maggie too.
“I'm not asking you for forgive Negan” You watched as your words ripped the smile from Maggie’s face but she didn’t dare look at you just yet “I just want you to be happy” you whispered trying to catch her gaze “You deserve to be happy, you both do” 
Maggie finally looked up at you, doe eyed as a small smile took its place on her lips again. You offered her the same smile.
A lot of things were said the day Maggie came back but in time you’d soon forget them and all you’d remember was the way you and your best friend laughed along to the sound of children playing.
131 notes · View notes
agentrouka-blog · 3 years
Note
what do you think about obara?
Hi there!
Obara would be my third favorite Sand Snake after Sarella and Elia.
Obara Sand always walked too fast. She is chasing after something she can never catch, the prince had told his daughter once, in the captain's hearing. (AFFC, The Captain of Guards)
My goodness, what could it be?
Oh, right. Her mother. Her identity. Her sense of self.
She is the reason I can never ever truly like Oberyn.
“I am the whore's whelp, or had you forgotten?" (AFFC, The Captain of Guards)
No matter how heartbreaking Oberyn’s determination to get justice for Elia’s murder, I can never forgive him for this.
"The day my father came to claim me, my mother did not wish for me to go. 'She is a girl,' she said, 'and I do not think that she is yours. I had a thousand other men.' He tossed his spear at my feet and gave my mother the back of his hand across the face, so she began to weep. 'Girl or boy, we fight our battles,' he said, 'but the gods let us choose our weapons.' He pointed to the spear, then to my mother's tears, and I picked up the spear. 'I told you she was mine,' my father said, and took me. My mother drank herself to death within the year. They say that she was weeping as she died." Obara edged closer to the prince in his chair. "Let me use the spear; I ask no more."
(AFFC, The Captain of Guards)
Oberyn not only suddenly came to take her away from her mother. He did not come to offer her a “better life”, or do his duty to her as her father.
He made her choose.
He demonstrated an absolutely despicable abuse of power. He shows up out of the blue after presumably no contact and no support, assaults and humiliates her mother, a woman already on the very edge of society, and then makes Obara choose between this distorted image of victimized weakness, and his own power. Female tears vs. his phallic symbol. It’s a false dichotomy, the birth place of “not like other girls”, of internalized misogyny, of self-hatred.
She cannot have both. She cannot love both. She must disdain one to reap any benefit from the other. It is a horrifying violation. He erases half of her identity by dragging it through the dirt and creating a clear distinction between himself and his offer, and the woman who has been Obara’s caretaker all her life up to then. Her own mother. Her own sex.
We know that the young red-haired prostitute died trying to save her daughter, little Barra, while Robert had not lifted a finger to support them, and only had scorn for the girl’s choice of name. Was she weak?
Even her mother’s grief and desperate end is turned into a weapon against Obara, instead of proof of her mother’s love, it is proof of her mother’s supposed worthlessness. She must hate her mother because to stop would be to recognize that her father, her sole source of security in the world, was a monster to do this. She must cling to this phallic symbol of a weapon because Oberyn tainted all alternatives. The whore’s whelp she calls herself, spitting on her mother every time.
When she arrives at Sunspear to confront Doran about Oberyn’s death, she asks for troops and permission to sack Oldtown. Her hometown. For the wealth of the Hightowers, supposedly, but somehow her first instinct upon the news of her father’s demise is to attack the place she herself came from, her mother’s city. Begging to use the spear.
Perhaps it is the only way she knows how to express her pain, as Oberyn stole her tears. Self-destruction.
Even Nymeria understands there is a personal motive outside of Oberyn’s death.
“Obara would have me go to war.”
Nym laughed. “Yes, she wants to set the torch to Oldtown. She hates that city as much as our little sister loves it.” (AFFC, The Captain of Guards)
Obara is the only one of the elder Sand Snakes for whom GRRM constructs this kind of look back at her "acquisition" into the royal family, and I sincerely doubt that it is accidental. It is the one that matters, the one that is the most illustrative.
Nymeria has her noble Volantene mother’s beauty and bearing.
Tyene is said to carry her mother’s innocent appearance, and received a religious education at least thorough enough to enable her to “ingratiate herself” with the new high septon. It is, of course, a cynical facade.
Sarella proudly practices the marksmanship of the Summer Islanders of her mother’s heritage.
But Elia and Obara both show the real cracks that counter this hazy facade of the fierce Eight Sand Snakes, liberal Oberyn‘s loyal and independent daughters. They are all an extravagant self-indulgence on Oberyn’s part, created wherever he went and then picked up like a shiny tourist trinket. They all must revolve around him, the reflections of Oberyn in the looking glass of their mothers.
No," Elia broke in. "You're the one they'll want to ransom. You're the heir to Dorne, I'm just a bastard girl. Your father would give a chest of gold for you. My father's dead." (TWOW, Arianne II)
Elia, bless her, has her mother to lean on and still she keenly feels the legal reality of her position. Obara does not even have that. 
Sarella out of all the elder Sand Snakes, seems to be the most emotionally independent. She is the only one NOT around all the others in Dorne, and while she follows her father’s footsteps in Oldtown, she practices her mother‘s traditional archery and emphasizes her.
Alleras smiled back at him. "I only buy for friends. And I am no lord's son, I've told you that. My mother was a trader." (AFFC, Prologue)
This healthier balance, this valuing regard for her mother’s heritage (unlike Tyene's pretense) is what makes Sarella truly remarkable to me. She is not hot-headed nor does she seem to be boiling with a thinly veiled fury. She does not seem to advocate for murder, but we see her muse about feeding the people. She is serene, like the black swans on the Godseye, like the swanships, with a steady hand and a sure intention. Whatever exactly that intention may be. Ironically, sexism forces Sarella into a masculine role, as well. But it is a deliberate mask, elegantly worn. Freely worn. Unlike Obara's struggle.
The character in whom I see most parallels with Obara Sand is Jon Snow in his current iteration.
Ned, well-meaning though he may have been, robbed Jon of half of his identity and left him with an image that is considered tainted by the world around him. His mother is as inaccassible as Obara’s mother, emotionally, though for different reasons. Their father’s choices left both of them emotionally crippled to a degree. One mother was erased by silence, rendered invisible. The other, worse, was erased by violent and verbal degradation.
Consequently, it is Obara we see the most seemingly “unhinged”, when she is introduced, the most overtly violent, the most “unfeminine”. This is not an expression of personal taste, nor a handy mask. It is a grim adherence to the choice she was offered.
She is almost thirty, and came to Dorne almost two decades earlier, well before Elia’s murder.
"It has been twenty years, or near enough to make no matter.” (AFFC, The Captain of Guards)
She was somewhere between Sansa’s and Arya’s current age when Elia was killed. Does she perceive the contradiction in Oberyn living for vengeance for Elia, when he treated her own mother not so very very differently? He did not kill her truly, but he erased her just the same, with a violent contempt. A "weak woman", with only tears for weapons, her child ripped from her.
If Obara sees it, she is not letting on. She craves violence. She craves an expression of power to put something where tears might have their place. The way she was taught.
Of course, it would be boring if that is where it was truly headed. Much like Aegon and Jon, much also like Asha Greyjoy who adapted to an extremely male-dominated society, Obara would probably benefit from turning away from her father's looming shadow to a certain degree. I have some hope that GRRM will make room to explore it.
Obara is given a quest of justice and distraction: Darkstar. "Beard him in his den", as Arianne travels to "beard the dragon".
Your Speculation here (by @sayruq) is extremely interesting, placing Obara in the line of defense of peaceful children at the watergardens. The same children she had dismissed earlier, like the child she was not allowed to be. Wielding that spear not for vengeance or self-glorification but in the way it should be wielded: to defend those soft weak things that are precious.
I really hope this is where it's headed, and I really hope she will find her peace in that role.
59 notes · View notes
giorno-plays-piano · 4 years
Text
Crimson Gods
Tumblr media
Pairing: vampire!Steve Rogers x Reader
Warnings: non-con, yandere, kidnapping, mentions of death and suicidal thoughts, allusion to breeding.
Words: 2362.
Summary: Living in the world where most lands are governed by the Noble, ancient vampires who shed human blood simply for their own amusement, you try leading a quiet and secluded life along with your mother. Sadly, you aren’t prepared when a vampire comes to your town.
P.S. When I was younger, I really, really loved Vampire Hunter D. I watched the movie again yesterday, and here’s the result ahahah. 
______________
It was way past midnight, but you couldn't force yourself to sleep, tossing and turning in your comfy bed while thinking of your travel tomorrow. You were supposed to leave the town for the first time in years to visit your grandmother who lived in the Northern Frontier Sector, and now you dreamt of how you were going to embrace her, kiss her cheeks despite her scolding you for not behaving properly in public. You hadn't seen her in 7 years. After the incident, you had never even once left the town, and your grandmother could hardly travel so far due to her age. Of course, you kept exchanging letters, but how could a cold letter, though written with great respect, replace a live communication?
While you kept wondering how your encounter would go, all of a sudden it felt cold under your cozy cotton blanket, and you reluctantly got up to take a huge comforter out of your heavy wooden chest. Why was it freezing tonight even with the windows closed? You were just in the middle of September. To be honest, you hardly remembered the last time the weather was so bad as you wrapped a comforter around your trembling shoulders, thinking whether you have to take your winter nightgown instead of light muslin one you were wearing now.
Throwing a glance at your window, you saw the frosted panes and furrowed your brows, refusing to believe it. Dear Lord, you lived in the Western Frontier Sector, not far to the North! Was it really going to snow out of nowhere tonight? As you moved closer to look at an empty street, you realized that a huge cross on top of a building on the other side started crumpling with a disgusting sound as if it were made of paper, not pure silver to protect citizens from the creatures of the night. Several crosses on the buildings down the street had been destroyed, too. Quickly, you looked down only to find the flower beds withering within seconds despite your beautiful roses blooming just a couple of hours ago. Now they all turned black.
You stilled on the spot, unable to believe your eyes and covering your ears from that horrifying noise. You had only seen something like that once, and it was the time when most villagers had already been dead, turned into beasts without a soul who craved for blood as much as their masters did. That night you had lost your beloved father as you fled your house in a rush, just a little child back then, and, once you arrived in the town, had never even once left your new home.
The crumpled crosses, dead flowers and a sudden temperature drop could mean only one thing: a vampire had come to the town. It wasn't some upyr, oh no, it was one of the Nobles, maybe even an Elder if you were unlucky.
Dear Lord, what a Noble wanted in a peaceful town like this? There were neither treasures nor mechanisms of the ancient, nothing that could potentially interest a Noble. Except that they might be simply eager to shed human blood for their own amusement...
Before you screamed at the top of your voice to wake up everyone around, you heard the sound of a large mirror in your room breaking, and then felt somebody's strong grip on your throat despite no one being in front of you. The world turned black before you uttered a single word.
_______________
Moving a heavy crimson curtain a bit so you could look out the window, you gasped, watching the corn fields far beneath looking like neat pieces of cloth. The view was incredible! You had never seen anything like this before, though you certainly didn't remember travelling in such fine carriage ever before either. It was truly stunning, made of black steel, shining in the sunlight as if it only been made yesterday. Steven laughed when you said it out loud, explaining that this carriage had been more than a century old. Apparently, the Nobility's carriages were miraculous since you couldn't find even a single scratch on the surface.
"Be careful, sweetheart." The man behind your back said, gently bringing you closer to him and further from the window, curtain falling back and hiding the two of you from the outside world. "Night does not fall yet."
"Forgive me my curiosity. I have never seen anything as magnificent." You smiled sheepishly at the handsome blonde-haired, blue-eyed man in a long black cape with red lining.
He let out a low chuckle, taking your hand and kissing it briefly while you forgot how to breathe for a second, deeply embarrassing by such outpouring display of affection. You lead a rather quiet secluded life in the town, pretty much never being around men of your age: your mother was going to choose a respectable husband for you herself, so you never worried about it before. Now, however, you felt ashamed for being so close to a man despite loving him dearly. Oh, what would your mother say if she saw you now? Wouldn't she be worried? Would she approve of your marriage to a No-
You blinked as you stared at the handsome man's pale face, feeling all your worries fading away. As long as you stayed with the love of your life, nothing else mattered, right?
"If that is what you wish, we will travel by air a lot more right after I present you at Western Frontier Court, sweetheart." His deep, silky voice made you let out a nervous chuckle as you felt your cheeks growing hot. "My, aren't you adorable?"
"Please, Steven, stop it!" You furrowed your brows as he grinned at you, baring his sharp fangs you paid no attention to. "I cannot believe I am getting married to you so soon. It feels... strange. A little unsettling."
"And why is that?" There was some wariness to his voice.
"It's just... I have never imagined myself being married to anyone. Surely, I thought of having a family at some point, but it was so distant. I have never even pictured myself close to a man, let alone a High Lord like you." You admitted honestly, biting your lower lip and averting his gaze. "You have never been married before, too, have you? Aren't you frightened even the slightest bit?"
"A little." He answered too soon, yet you disregarded it as well. "But I have no doubts we will make a good couple, sweetheart. I will cherish you like no other man ever would."
Embarrassed to the point your face was on fire, you decided to drop it, not knowing how a nobleman like Steven Grant Rogers could have an audacity to say such things. He was completely shameless! You hoped he was going to be more reserved while presenting you at court; you pictured your grandmother fainting if she heard him speaking like now.
What was Western Frontier Court like? You had never been there, not than any human ever could: as far as you knew, not even all vampires could serve the Nobility living in the high castle surrounded by mountains. You heard its peaks were covered with snow all year round.
"Have the king ever visited your castle?" You suddenly asked, back to your curious self.
Steven's face became even paler. "He did on several occasions, but it was a long time ago way before I was even born. I have only seen him once, and I do not think I will ever forget this encounter."
"Oh, is he as frightening as the legends say?"
"You cannot describe it with words, sweetheart. But do not be worried, he had been asleep for more than a thousand years now, and he surely won't wake up just to attend some Noble's marriage." A faint smile twisted Steven's lips as he drop a soft kiss to your forehead. "Actually, please do not refer to him as a king. The Nobles call him the Great One."
"Oh, I see. Thank you." Nodding, you turned your face back to the window covered by a crimson curtain, biting your lip again. "Can I watch the sunset a little? I won't be long, I promise."
"As you wish, sweetheart. Please come back to me once you are done, it is going to be a long night."
Gesturing to the large black coffin laying in the middle of your carriage, the man brushed his cold soft lips against your cheek and got up from his seat, smiling at you watching him. You remembered being very unhappy once you learnt there was only one coffin: you had never thought you would lay close to your betrothed with your head on his chest before your marriage. How terribly bold it was of Steven to make you sleep so close to him! However, you were content he had never even once tried touching you inappropriately, always treating you with respect: he said he admired your purity and innocence while not many Noble women were bothered by them.
Once he got inside the coffin, you lifted the curtain again, squinted as rays of bright light pierced the darkness of the carriage. Oh, how incredibly beautiful was the sunset in front of you. You had seldom seen such lovely sight as this. Would you miss the sun once you reach the high castle? You surely would, you thought. Hopefully, your betrothed would keep his promise to travel with you, and when he fell asleep during the day, you would walk in daylight all by yourself.
As you kept staring at the bright sky coloured in orange and pink, all of a sudden you thought why did you have to live in the high castle with Steven while your home was far away from the white mountains, in a little human town where you spent the last several years. Oh, right, you were engaged to the Overseer of the Western Frontier Sector, the highest Noble guarding the lands where you were born and raised. He was a peerless warrior and a fierce leader, a vampire respected by other Nobles.
A vampire? Steven was a vampire? Why would you be engaged to a vampire, let alone the Noble? The Overseer of the lands you were born and raised, the one who had taken advantage of those poor humans living in the Western Frontier Sector and let other Nobles ravage your cities and villages, destroying everything on their way.
You were engaged to the vampire overlord, a ruthless, cold-blooded being who could wipe out every human in these lands if he desired so. No, he was not your betrothed, the man you promised to marry willingly. He was the one who kidnapped you from your own bed at night, casting some spell over you to make you forget who you were.
You clamped a hand around your mouth to stop the pathetic sounds you were making as you cried, hot tears streaming down your cheeks. Dear Lord, why was the Overseeker doing it to you? What could he gain from this cruel game? Seemingly nothing, except for having some fun with a silly human girl. But that what the Nobles were doing once they got bored, wasn't it? No, you wouldn't give him the satisfaction, you thought, happy you were given a chance to escape - even if it cost you your own life, it was still for the better.
"The Overseeker of the Southern Frontier Sector did, not that I expect you to know. Now, please, come back here. You had enough time watching the sunset."
You couldn't believe your eyes, watching him say it with such confidence. Was he willing to keep playing his twisted game even when his sweet facade fell?
"Why do you pretend as if my death matters to you? You will kill me soon anyway. Does it bring you so much pleasure to murder one more pathetic human?"
"I won't kill you, sweetheart. It has never been my intention."
There was something to his voice, some emotion you struggled to describe that made you feel bitter and regretful. Was it all truly going to end like this? You were so young, supposed to have your whole life ahead of you, now faced with a choice to either let a vampire consume you or jump out the carriage and fell to your death.
"Than what was it? I assume you have been living for more than thousands of years. Aren't you a little too old for playing these games still?" You chocked on a sob, barely containing your tears as you trembled in front of the Overseeker.
"I am not playing a game." He admitted tiredly, suddenly taking the black glove off his hand. "All I wish for is a loving wife who can bear my children and bring peace to my lands. I have been wandering human cities for a great while before I found you, strong enough to carry a dampiel after a few genetic enhancements. Please, do not struggle. I have not come to make you suffer eternal torment."
For a couple of seconds you stared at him with your mouth slightly open, unable to utter a single word. You had expected the vampire to say anything but this. Was it still a game? Now you hoped it was because even being drained till the last drop of blood was better than carrying a dampiel, a child of both vampire and human, feared and loathed greatly by both races. When you recovered, however, you quickly turned the door handle and pushed the door, willing to wait no longer.
But the door did not give to your pressure. To your horror, it stayed still as if it were a solid piece of steel.
Feeling the iron grip of the Overseeker's fingers on you shoulder, you yelped as he dragged you back to his coffin with force, closing the lid before you had a chance to escape. The next second his fingers were on your neck, suffocating you before you lost consciousness just like the night when Steven Grant Rogers kidnapped his human beloved.
______________________
Tags: @finleyjayne @alexakeyloveloki   @helenaeisenhower @villanellevi @hurricanerin @abyssaint @heeeyitskay @chris-evans-indian-fanfic @navegandoaciegas @rosalynshields @brattycherubwrites @sllooney @angrythingstarlight @lookiamtrying @buckysbunny @soleil-dor @stargazingfangirl18 @dillybuggg @literate-lamb @cosicas-cuquis @sarge-barnes-sir @lovelydarkdaydream @ninefuckingoneone @jaysayey @megzdoodle​
511 notes · View notes
thewriterowl · 3 years
Note
hey owl it’s me i’m in your inbox now. i politely ask your headcanons on dins reaction to finding out about all the things luke has been through but NOT from luke, could be lukes friends, random people who witnessed or even people in the squadron so i can sit here and go 🙃 about lukes trauma
Hello my dear @elloitselmo!! Oh you bet I would be so happy to share this to the world! Our favorite topic of every day:
Let's all make it clear in the fact that sweetheart Luke has SUFFERED. The boy has had so little luck in everything he has faced but has come to be a gentle, forgiving, hopeful and kind young man despite everything he has gone through. Now, whenever Din makes any inquiry about it, Luke just brushes it off as not very interesting or not very different from other's with a hard past...or he'll explain things very simply.
Luke: Yeah, I've lost family (meaning "My mother died giving birth to me, my father's soul practically died then but I just was told he died after believing he abandoned me, my aunt and uncle died and i found their bodies, my mentor who became a father-figure died and I witnessed it, my best friend and possible crush died and I heard it, my TaunTaun died in front of me, another close friend of mine died behind me and I witnessed his body then get crushed, many in my squadron died and I witnessed it, my second mentor died, and then my not-dead father died!")
or
Luke: Like a lot in the rebellion I went through some hard times (meaning "I am an Empath and was unaware how much I felt on people dying and how it affected me, went through loads of gruesome horrible battles, have had a lot of experiences and witnesses of death, had to go through a soul/mind/body breaking training to get prepared to face a genocidal monster who had been training almost non-stop since he was nine, found out this genocial monster was my father--so i tried to kill myself cause I sorta lost my mind for a second, had my best friend get kidnapped, went through tons of missions, was nearly drowned by someone who hated me for who my father was, been tortured, faced the Empire, was tortured again, had to carry my dying father in my arms, have my father die in my arms, burn my father alone, made sure to feel and experience death with thousands of people so they wouldn't be alone...oh and that was just after i was nineteen and up to twenty-five! I didn't cover being a kid or afterwards...I've had some mental break downs...but just little ones :D")
So Din just isn't aware. Luke always does have a layer of sadness or exhaustion even with how happy and bright and sweet he is with everyone, but nothing to make him think that Luke should be a really broken person after all that he has suffered through. He believe he has just a "normal" amount of sadness from growing up in a very broken galaxy.
Then, he learns the whole truth (maybe Anakin or Yoda or Qui-Gon comes in through a dream, cause apparently right before Luke meets Din Obi-Wan moves on into the Force so, hey!, another sad moment, Luke can't see him again) and whooo-boy...Din snaps.
So instantly, Din would just be sitting there after whoever informed him of everything leaves. He would probably be sitting for a few hours just...thinking. Stewing really. He would be unable to comprehend all that he learned about Luke and just cannot begin to really function for a while because he pretty much has PTSD listening to the years of misery Luke has gone through. He potentially gets sick or may have a moment to cry to himself because how could Luke suffer so much but still be that gentle and kind??
For a bit, Din is a bit torn. He is not one to take away a person's free will or choices...but he is terrified to realize he no longer really trusts Luke with his own well being and doing anything safely. Nor does he true the galaxy in not throwing more terrible experiences Luke's way (fic idea: we've heard of Luke having a vision of his future of the sequels--but when it Din had it?).
I think it will get Din to make a few clear decisions quickly:
1) He was to put a lot more effort and focus into being Mand'alor so he could use the connections, authority, and power to change as much as he could of Luke's life and make sure he is happy and safe.
2) He was going to find a way to marry Luke if they aren't married already.
3) Luke will be adopted as an official Mandalorian.
4) Luke will be a Mandalore citizen...and therefore needs to follow Mand'alor's rules and laws.
This means he will ensure Luke is protected, carefully tended to, and cannot just jump on his X-Wing whenever he has a vision and potentially go get himself killed because he does not value his own life like he should.
He wants to go on a mission? Well, he needs clearance for that--and to speak with the king and his advisors and just can't take off into airspace without informing anyone. If it's not approved (and it rarely would be) then, welp, Luke just has to stay put and not go get himself hurt because he feels like he must be a meat-shield for the galaxy.
Leia would be a little worried on the idea at first but, well, her brother would disappear without telling anyone and get hurt.
Then, Din would begin to talk to Luke.
He'd ask for details to get things confirmed and he'd start looking for a Space-Therapist so Luke can get some professional help in facing the horrible past he had suffered from.
Din will tell him, "No, cyar'ika...that's not normal. no, no that's not normal either. Is that...no, that is unhealthy...and that's heartbreaking and...No...holy hells, love, you'e never leaving our bedroom ever again." for everything that comes out of Luke's mouth and when he tries to play it off as nothing to worry about.
Din probably does have a few cries and/or bonks his head against Beskar to try and knock himself out to not think of any of this painful truth.
Luke, who is just sitting all confused with a mug of hot chocolate is all, "Did i tell you about the time I was nearly sold into slavery?"
Din is in agony.
99 notes · View notes