#i will probably delete this and just show u guys an edit that made me MISERABLE abt it when more people are around

[sensesdialed]

i am once again listening to waiting room

[wildmelon]

5000 followers gift— occult sim dump 🫶🏼

info and download below the cut

i went more spellcaster-focused this time since i already have so many vampires up for dl. they might be my favorite occult type... 😳💭🧙🏼 i'm seriously so excited for u guys to play with these cuties, someone pls put them all in a house together and let chaos ensue and show me <333

do not change their skin color or body type dramatically. do not claim as your own. tag me if you use them, i’d love to see!

one outfit each

cc included

they are all their listed occult type in-game (i envisioned merinda as half-fae, half-spellcaster so i just made up that word but in game she's a spellcaster; desmond is a human; weaver is a spellcaster bc it didn't feel right for a fairy to have no magic)

they all have likes and dislikes, some of which will not show up without get together

some skin details may not show up if you don't have occult packs

these pics were taken with lithium cas reshade, this cas lighting (4), and edited in photoshop

(i did my best to check all cc tou but pls let me know if i made any mistakes)

download: google drive (individual or all-in-one)

let me know if there are any problems!

tips: if it's too much cc for you, leave out the sliders. don't worry if you load up the household and it says something is missing in game, it's probably a mod i deleted on purpose. if drive tells you the file is too big to scan for viruses, it does not mean the file is unsafe.

[pharawee]

5 Songs Tag - QL Shows Edition

I was tagged by @leonpob and @wanderlust-in-my-soul. Thank you so so much! 💜Negl I saw this tag game going around and I was waiting for someone to tag me because I love (Thai) BL soundtracks. I have a playlist and everything. I could rec you songs for hours. I apologise in advance for this list probably having more than 5 songs. You can't expect me to decide. You just can't.

When you get this, list 5 songs from the Asian QL media that you actually listen to.

🎶They do not have to be custom-made for the series. 🎶Non-western tracks only. Let's support Asian music and languages! 🎶Feel free to tag anyone who may be interested in participating. 🎶Add #5qls tag to your post for others to find the new favourites!

1. Noh Phouluang, พร้อมเคียง (Nitiman)

Probably the first Thai song I fell in love with (aka the song that started a ~16 hour long playlist). This song will always have a special place in my heart. Sometimes I still catch myself just humming along while I'm out shopping. Think of Nitiman what you will (personally, I loved it) but the soundtrack was really good. I'm still sad one of the songs never made it to spotify. Also, Noh has an amazing voice. I really hope he gets to sing again.

2. Pantherist, กี่เหตุผลที่ทำให้รัก (WHY R U)

There's just something about this song that's so beautiful. It's so comforting to me. Negl this song is defnitely one of my happy places.

3. พัตเตอร์ ภูเบศ, ฉันรู้ ฉันรู้ (OUR DAYS)

If you know me even a little bit, then you know I love synths and 80s vibes. I also love Our Days. It's how I discovered Palmy. Putter was a complete surprise though. Sadly it's his only song (on spotify) so far.

4. Newery, พรหมลิขิต (I WILL KNOCK YOU)

Why this song never made it to spotify I'll never know. It's perfect. The whole soundtrack for this series is perfect (as is the series itself but I digress). This is Newery singing a perfect(!!) cover of Destiny and I could listen to this for hours.

5. Kacha Nontanun, ขอลืม (THE LUMINOUS SOLUTION)

Another song that never made it to spotify and it is an outrage. Kacha's voice is heavenly and the chorus of this song hits so hard. It's so sad and haunting and soft, and it captures the series perfectly.

6. Taro Shatree, แค่เธอลอง (EVEN SUN)

I think we can all agree that Even Sun was ?? ???? but, you guys, this song! When it first came out I had it stuck in my head for WEEKS. I can't believe it's not on spotify. Taro Shatree is definitely on my radar now (even if he deleted like, half of his discography from spotify😭). Most recently he wrote and arranged this song for Boom Raweewit (Lue in Chains of Heart) that I also really like.

BONUS: Boy Sompob, ฟังใจ (LA PLUIE)

Oh no, I forgot a Boy Sompob song. This isn't right. You can't make a list of QL songs and not put Boy Sompob on it. Anyway, here's an an acoustic version of ฟังใจ. He sang this live. LIVE. I love one (1) man.

I'm tagging @cytharat @liyazaki @asianmade @singto-prachaya @respectthepetty @bengiyo (please feel free to skip this, of course 💜)

[noritoshiikamo]

this is how you fall in love

pairing: kuroo tetsuroo + fem!oc genre: friends into lovers fluff with slight suggestive end tags//warning: nothing major // slight suggestive at the end if you squint enough note: the obligatory trio of mine: not well edited, lowercase intended, english isnt my first language im sorry if i murder it. o wow look ive been posting back to back, ive been writing nonstop lately watch me ghost my stories in few weeks guys my brain = rotting, plus lately ive been feeling emotionally abuseddrained so i need something fluffy

listen to this is how you fall in love by jeremy zucker + chelsea cutler for maximum feels

“you’re a lifesaver.”

kuroo huffed, eyes rolling back with a small laugh as he unlaced his sneakers and slipped the room slipper on. it was odd to see the gymnasium without any nets or balls sprawled around. the gym has been closed for a week now in preparation for the upcoming open school event and currently under the art club’s jurisdiction. under her jurisdiction with her canvases and paints and it pained him to see her ruining his sacred place. he carried two plastic bags and holding two boba teas in the same hand. he wasn’t sure which one she was more excited for; the boba, the paints she made him ran to an art supply shop or him. she reached out, the bobas in his hand exchanged as she settled it on the floor, and she squealed at the sight of the plastic bag. he frowned.

yup, not him.

tins of different colors of paint that she ran out mid painting that she forgot to buy had her dialing his number and now it’s all here. all thanks to kuroo tetsuro. she grimaced at the price tags; it was costly than her usual one. usually, she would’ve gotten her supplies online, but desperate measure calls for desperate solution. she could always claim her expenses with the club. typical kuroo, she huffed. he always preached about getting the best, not minding the price tags but she’ll be the victim of his nonstop complaining that he’s getting broke every single day. she tucked a stray hair back and mentally counted how much she owed the man as she arranged the tins on the table.

kuroo noticed that look; same look she had when they are in the math class and he clicked his tongue, “tch, you’re not paying.”

“i’m reimbursing you with the club money,” she shook her head and reached for her bag, “please kuroo, it’s so expensive.”

he reached for her wrist and she dropped the tote bag as he invaded her space. kuroo rested the palm of her hand right above his heart, his own around the waist and another under her chin as he tilted her chin up. his heartbeat was erratic, and she flushed. “it’s okay,” he said, softly. her lips formed into a small pout and he fought the urge to just kiss her.

their dynamic is something even kenma couldn’t figure it out.

they weren’t exactly dating. they are friends, close friends, and classmates. it has always been him, her and occasionally yaku; creating the chaotic duo/trio of class 5. they both played volleyballs, both captains while he’s the middle blocker, she’s their female team’s setter. they knew a lot of each other’s friends from other schools; he was the reason why she dated akaashi keiji from the first place. it was selfish of kuroo to admit to bokuto a month after they started dating that he disliked the idea of them together. typical kuroo is no longer snarky, he felt lost, felt like he was losing his other half. so, he confided to his close friend, the simpleton ace.

“you didn’t make any moves, kuroo, you can’t blame them.”

bokuto noted as them both stared at the two setters, playing around the fallen cherry blossoms. bokuto never seen akaashi smiled that much and kuroo could only wished that she smiled the same way to him. kuroo stared at the half bitten onigiri he’d been holding, suddenly every bite he took tasted bitter. every trace of akaashi on her gave him bitter taste. she liked wearing akaashi’s jersey; kuroo longed to see her in his own numbered jersey; she’s his number one after all. her own jersey number is as same as akaashi. it’s not like kuroo could hate anything he did; he treated her well. akaashi was a perfect boyfriend and everyone knew. that’s why kuroo hates him; he gave him no reason to hate the dude. it didn’t last long however, they drifted apart 6 months later, sending her to kuroo’s doorstep soaked in rain.

he stared at her soaked figure with no thoughts in mind.

“he dumped me,” she said, voice hoarse and shivering.

he was alone and was about to leave for kenma’s, but he couldn’t leave her alone. dropping his keys on the small table by the door, he threw his jacket back in the closet. “come in,” he whispered, pulling her figure in. dropping her bag on the floor, she clutched on his sleeves as she kicked off her soaking shoes. “i’m sorry, my mom isn’t home and i can’t find my keys,” she was a blabbering mess and he hushed her. he left her for a few minutes, coming back with a steaming towel and a clean shirt and pants. “it’s from the dryer. you can borrow my sister’s clothes,” grabbing her hands, they ran upstairs where he took her to the bathroom. she was too quiet, so he called her name. when she looked up to him, her eyes were red. she was no longer crying, more confused and upset. her cheeks flushed and he could see her teeth chattering. he wished nothing but to throw his fist at the man. finally, he got a reason to square up the stoic man; he always hates the way nothing could riled up akaashi.

“he’s stupid for doing you like this.”

she shook her head, “it’s nobody’s fault.”

“then stop blaming yourself,” he ruffled her hair, a small smile appeared from the corner of her lips as she watched him disappeared closing the door behind him. he left her with the hot water running, urgently grabbing the mop and bucket from the kitchen, and wiping the trail of her soaked feet has left before it could ruin the wooden floor.

cant come over, busy, ill tell u later

kuroo texted kenma. the pudding head left him on read.

they spend the night together, sitting on the floor with pillows pilling against the end of the bed as they sat in arms. he had his tv opened to one of the late-night game show. they sat in silence, her head rested on his shoulder and her lips pressed into a tiny line. at the corner of his eyes, he could see her phone’s notifications blaring despite being on mute. the number isn’t saved but it was familiar. she deleted his number already, probably out of rage, but it’s a good step.

tell me where you want me to drop your stuff im sorry i hope youre okay y/n? i heard it was storming did you make it back home? give me a call im calling you okay?

just as like what the message stated, the unknown number called her. it startled her which startled him too. she stared down on the screen, he noticed the grip on the phone and wondered how the phone did not break yet. “can you answer it for me?” she said, holding the phone out to the black-haired man. shocked, he took the phone and pressed the green button. he pressed the phone to his ear and heard her name being called.

“hey man,” kuroo cleared his throat, “listen-”

“she’s with you?” the voice- akaashi asked.

looking down on the girl who was pretending to not have any interest in the call at all, eyes focused on the gameshow, kuroo sighed.

“she is. listen, i think you should leave her alone.”

“kuroo, i know about your feelings. for her. bokuto-san told me about it. if you think that this is the proper way to get her when she’s vulne-”

kuroo bit the inside of his cheeks. he was offended that akaashi dared to call him out like that. “so, what? she made her pick,” the girl turned to face him, brows up wondering what they are talking about.

“that’s low, even for you, kuroo-san.”

their eyes met. he didn’t even realize how deep the cut on his palm where he had balled his fingers into a fist until she touched it. he calmed down. “you hurt her. you have no right to say what’s low or not. be a bigger man, leave her alone,” he muttered flatly, before ending the call. they didn’t break eye contact until he realized what he had done.

“i-i shouldn’t have done that.”

she shook her head, “stop blaming yourself,” a small smile on her face.

that was 3 months ago.

kuroo had made moving on easy for her. akaashi and her remained friendly, although kuroo noticed that she tended to avoid him when possible. the breakup was indeed mutual, but merely on the fact that he lost feelings. akaashi had fallen out of love with her and in love with some other girl but who was she to judge when she was falling in love with the rooster head in silence. they still hang out with bokuto and akaashi but rarely with the latter.

she made him apologized to the fukurodani’s setter too and they remained on friendly term, still practiced together whenever they have training camps together where akaashi had admitted one training night that kuroo and her looks better together. kuroo didn’t say anything, not that he knew what to reply to that (his mind scream fuck yeah we do) but shrugged at his statement. “i guess dating her made you less pain in the ass, kuroo-san,” akaashi joked as they resumed the game.

kuroo was pulled back to reality when he felt his lips brushed against something. his eyes widened when he realized what it was. a quick kiss from her. he blinked frantically, trying to comprehend what had just happened which caused the girl to laugh. “did you just?” he asked confused by what had just happened which she nodded. she bit her bottom lip to hold herself from bursting into a laugh. “god, you should see your face. it’s so stupid. and every girl called you the playboy captain huh?”

he huffed and rolled his eyes, “i am not. i’ve been loyal to one girl for many years now, she is the one who hasn’t notice me at all,” he faked his pout, refused to look her directly in the eyes, praying that she wouldn’t notice his reddening cheeks.

“she must’ve been so stupid,” she teased, her nose rubbing gently against his jawline as she rested her figure against his closer. his chin rested against her head.

“she is,” he looked down on her, his arms around her waist tighter, “i don’t think she knows this but if she leaves me, i think i’ll be so broken inside. is it selfish to say that?” a small frown appeared on her face.

“i don’t think she ever talked about leaving you.”

a grin grew on his face, “so you know who i’m talking about huh?” she fell into his trap. she rolled her eyes and stuck her tongue out, calling him stupid. he studied her face, his grin softened into what yaku and his volleyball team called the kuroo is stupidly in love with y/n but refused to admit face. his fingers ran into her hair which she had been growing out in few months down to her shoulder because she thinks that he likes her better that way. the way she tried to subtly put on make up to look better that the other girls who’s shamelessly flirting with him. she was too stupid to realize that he had loved her beyond that.

he loves the rough pads on her hands from holding her paintbrushes and volleyball. he loves that she works hard for everything she’s doing be it studying, volleyball or arts, she would put her blood, sweat and tears into it. he loves that she would wait for him to buy lunch so they can eat together in class. he would buy her a box of milk which she insisted that she doesn’t need too; but he convinced it would be good for her. he wants the best for her.

he loves that all the missing clothes he’s complaining about is in the back of her closet or on her. his cream hoodie hanging behind her closet door, his random pile of t-shirts in a basket on the floor of her closet that he liked to left beside the mix pile of her shoes and his one big ass nike shoes. her room isn’t messy, it is because she kept the messiness in her closet. she also like to keep random stuff of him too. the one medal he won from a science fair hung on the headboard of her bed, the misshapen looking hand wax sculpture of their hands intertwined from a funfair where she rested a purikura of them on it and a lucky bamboo plant he gave on her birthday to compromise on the no gift rule.

“for luck,” he grinned.

unlike hers, he kept her item neatly in his drawer. your spare shirts that he borrowed and refused to return, extra towel and her toiletries, some of her drawing blocks and a small cat shaped pouch where she kept her allergies medication. mostly hidden because his annoying friends come over often and would accidentally talk about it in front of his grandparents. but, on his bedside table, he has a cup of pencils by the bed where he collected the art supplies she left behind, random markers and paintbrushes, a clay sculpture of a trinket plate she made from art club (she carved a tiny letter k in the corner beside the obvious looking genitalia drawing) and a fake plant which she was sure he will not be able to kill it.

he loves it when she wore his jersey. he lost his mind when he found out that her current season number is the same as his. he’s in love. the first time he saw her in his jersey, the number one jersey on her body was during their training. he lost concentration; mouth hung a bit. he got so flustered that he let lev served the ball straight to his head. usually, lev would be dead by now, but he doesn’t mind. his nose bled but to see her kneel beside him, clutching on his own shirt screaming how stupid he is, wiping the blood away with towel, he could only say how pretty she looked. all his teammates were startled, her included. she clutched on his collar angrily; her knees stung from when she leaped down to his side, but this idiot could only smile at her with a bloody nose. “you are fucking idiot,” she cried out angrily, pushing him away before throwing the towel on his face leaving the pleased third year laying on the floor.

he loves the way she would find a way to impress him, be it as ridiculous as the halloween costume idea she had where they’ll go as the front and end of a horse or as serious as the submitted college application to the same university he had gotten into. “you are not getting rid of me that easily, tetsu,” the evil look on her face as she clicked the submit button send shivers down his spine.

“if you leave, i think i’ll cry,” he confessed, his smile slowly died.

“kuroo tetsuro is going to cry after me?” she teased. he nodded eagerly. “does kuroo tetsuro realized that we are literally moving into the same university? i couldn’t catch a break from him,” she faked her annoyance which he playfully avenged by sending her on the floor laughing as he tickled her. tears trickled down her cheeks as she begged him to stop, screaming to get away from his grip. “please, kuroo, i’m going to pee if you don’t stop!” he obliged, tears prickled the corner of his own eyes from laughing too much. straddling her waist, he gathered her wrists in one hand over her head. “apologize and said that kuroo tetsuro is the best man in your life or i swear i’ll make you pee,” he threatened her playfully, wiggling the fingers of his free hand close to her waist. her eyes widened in fears.

“that’s not fair!”

“apologize first.”

“fine!” she pouted, “i’m sorry, i won’t make fun of you again. now get off me!”

he raised his eyebrow, “andddd?”

“annddd-” a teasing smile appeared on her face as she said the next 5 words that send him to mars and back; “i love you kuroo tetsuro.”

he froze in shock. he heard the words before but never in this way; never for him.

finally, i think i got the calculation, love you yaku! lev you’re adorable but so stupid, i love it! thank you for letting me borrow your game, kenma. you’re the best, love ya!

the grip on her wrists loosened. taking advantage of his shock state, she pushed him back, straddling him by the waist, pinning his own hands above his head, giving him the taste of his own medicine. “i’m not going to leave your sorry ass, tetsu. i hope you don’t regret it,” she leaned down, capturing his lips with a longer kiss. letting go of his wrist, her hand went immediately into his rooster hair while another cupped his cheek, deepening their kiss. she could feel his cold palm resting against her bare waist and she shuddered. between the kisses, he heard her whispering his name. “kuroo, do you love me too?” she asked so innocently with kisses between the words but the way she grabbed a handful of his hand in a fist felt so dirty, eliciting a strangled moan from the back of his throat. she pulled back, staring down on his eyes as his lips moved.

“i love you too.”

nothing in his hazel eye but sincerity. he groaned when she pulled herself out of his reach, missing her warm body as she laughed. straightening her sweater back, pulling her hair back up into a tighter ponytail before she picked up the paintbrush she dropped. the paintbrush left a white stain on the court. as if kuroo wasn’t here, whimpering underneath her a minute ago, she continued her work. “i need to finish the mural by this week and you’re not exactly helping me,” she warned him, pointing the wet brush his direction. through the corner of her eyes, he was propped on his elbows, still staring at her, causing her to blush profusely. it annoyed him that she would tease him, then leaving him high and dry. before she could crack open the new paint tin, he ignored her warning as he tackled her back into his arms.

breathless against her lips, he told her to continue later. the urgency and rawness of his voice made her putty immediately. looking up the man, she pouted her lips.

“kuroo-san,” she whined as he captured her bottom lips.

he elicited a soft moan from the girl. he grinned against her lips. a hand rested firmly beside her head while another snaked under the sweater. there will be bruise tomorrow, she was sure of it, he will make sure of it.

“it will be quick, baby. i promise.”

she has no objection.

[thejudgingtrash]

would you class percy as a morally grey character? i’m really interested to hear your input

Anon 2: Would u class percy as an Morally Gray character?

Hey there! Let me write that essay for you about morally gray Percy ^^

It’s not about whether Percy is a morally gray character or not, it’s about he has to be otherwise the story doesn’t make any sense. At least for me it wouldn’t.

Ashley (@gr33kg0ds) said in the tags of my dark!Percy post something along the line of people diminishing Percy’s character because they need him to be pure and fluffy and I wholeheartedly agree with that!

Just because Percy’s twelve doesn’t mean he’s pure and didn’t do unproblematic things. I’ll mostly refer to The Lightning Thief because that book is the Magnus Opus for Riordan and perfectly stands for Percy as a morally gray character from the very beginning of the saga. (Also the only book I’ve recently re-read)

As much as I love fanon with all the amazing artworks, debates, memes and jokes, analysis, cool edits and wonderful fanfics, projecting your version of Percy doesn’t make the image in your head real. Percy in canon is not the fun and fluffy boy you imagine him to be or which social media sites (Reddit, Twitter, Instagram and yes, also Tumblr) tend to make him to be. He’s a scrawny little sarcastic twerp that was the unpopular kid. He isn’t that cringy dude Tony Lopez doing that fucking weird TikTok dance (side note: I don’t even know who this person is and I don't care, I saw the video and immediately wanted to delete every social media app on my phone, so thanks Tony?), kissing his Yeezys goodnight, vibing to our lord and gay icon Taylord “T. Swizzle” Swift song and flexing them iPhone 11 Max Pros. Percy literally said that going to Burger King with his mother once in a while would be considered a luxury. He’s a poor bastard in literal sense.

Part of the problem with the distinction of Percy’s character and his motives stem from the fact that Percy is a sneaky unreliable narrator and we as the audience (especially if you’re younger) don’t question most of his behavior if you even question some (pretty sure that most of us only picked up weird stuff as adults). Everything seems plausible to you. But does it mean that his behavior is necessarily good? Something that would paint his character as good?

Like I’ve said, let’s take a look at TLT. The very beginning of everything and the wonderful line that gets quoted everywhere: “Look, I didn't want to be a half-blood”. 

The very first line that quoted everywhere or used as in moodboard and edits but its meaning and significance get brushed off for the most part. It immediately sets the tone and the atmosphere for the book and for Percy as a character. A(n in my opinion) morally gray character. The very first thing we hear from Percy is that he doesn’t want to be in this world. He’s an involuntary participant who has been (upon further reading) blackmailed and forced into this world and is only cooperating to get his mother back and said in regards to his father (who also stands for the Greek pantheon) ”well yeah, would be nice to know about my dad but I’ve survived without him the past twelve years so I don’t know, he wouldn’t be missed necessarily I guess?“ That pretty much tells you, it foreshadows, that we will be dealing with someone with grit, someone that fights back, someone that went through shit, someone that isn’t a goody two-shoed character. Does it mean he’s a terrible (in the sense of evil or bad) character from the get go? Not really, but it tells you in nuances that he won’t be the white shining knight you might expect from a fairy tale.

There is so much that little Perseus Jackson has to offer you directly in the first book. So much that paints him as a morally gray character. From the illegal candy stash all the way to tricking Procrustes into his own trap. He knows right from wrong and isn’t innocent by any means. He wants you to think he’s innocent. Yes, he hunts monsters and the book also tells you that some adults (Gabe) can also be monsters, but Percy’s personality is so interesting and full of facets which I love! He’s misleading you on purpose. Deflects, plays events down. He lies in front of you to others but you don’t really doubt it. Instead of questioning it, you understand it.

What distinguishes Percy from other male protagonists in that notion that the author doesn’t try to paint him as particularly good (the reader connects the dots, in reality) is pretty much that. Percy is neither inherently good or bad. He’s in the middle. He does lots of questionable things and his personality adds to it. Something that immediately comes to my mind is his lack of fear of consequences. He thinks in the short term and not in the long term. Of course, he’s caring about those that are close and important to him (Grover, Annabeth and his mother of course. And well. The world not getting destroyed by his weird father and fucking crazy uncle would be a plus). But Percy isn’t really a strategist (yet). Look at the Medusa head thingy. Annabeth and Grover warn him, that he’s gonna get his ass beat and he doesn’t care. That these gods could squish him in the end didn’t matter to him.

The Olympian gods are painted as these unpenetrable huge mighty force and some fuzzy annoyed twelve year old dipshit sends them the severed head of a monster - but not any monster, the monster his father had a role in creating (well, Athena for the most part, but you know what I mean). (Also, I know this kinda reckless behavior gets sorta rewarded but at first, everyone was like ‘NO, NO, NO!’ before Percy was glorious with his attempt). Percy essentially tells these ancient forces that drive the way of his new cosmos how shit‘s gonna work from now on.

Percy isn’t fear riddled and doesn’t think about the possible outcome. He manipulates, he lies, he persuades and all of this as soon as he hits twelve. But probably earlier. Pretty sure he had to become a believable lier in order to trick (survive being around) Gabe. Perseus is angry, he’s agitated. Had Riordan written Percy as a soft spoken, frightened, goody two-shoed kid, almost nothing in TLT and the follow-ups would have made sense. He’s the outcast, but slowly blossoms into the strength and muscles of the group. Of the entire camp. Someone that outsmarts opponents and wins battles. But he didn’t do that by playing nice and being a bootlicker.

TLT would’ve been a perfect standalone book that would have emphasized that Percy is an involuntary person sive) if you skip Kronos, leave a little bit foreshadowing with the prophecy out, tweak the talks with the gods and Annabeth’s first meeting and skip Luke and the scorpion at the end. The ending would’ve been “and so Percy had a first awesome summer vacation and found a group of friends for life” or so (aka PJO movie 1 in less shitty and more cohesive).

The morally gray character shrinks a little bit in the SOM because there lie straighter dangers ahead which dive more into the bigger picture and Percy grows more into the character who takes care of friends and but he does come back with TTC, and definitely BOTL and the St. Helens explosion.

Consequences of Percy’s interactions had people partially dying. There is doubt, there is guilt. But the show must go on. There are battles that have to be won. There is no big giving up, no big overturn for the bad guys.

Also... isn’t it interesting that we start with Percy saying ”look, I don’t want to be in this world“ in TLT and it ends with TLO where he says ”for once I didn’t look back“? The full circle? The way that accepting his fate took five books? To change Percy from being an involuntary participant to becoming voluntary? He didn’t want to be a half-blood, he didn’t want to be the kid in the prophecy, but he actively chose to be in the end. He went from a darker shade of gray to a mayhaps lighter, if you want to say so.

To conclude, I repeat myself again: it’s not about whether Percy is a morally gray character or not, it’s that he has to be.

Thanks for asking me about some meta stuff I really do like diving into these things here and there. Tumblr’s sorta glitchy, I do get notifications but I really don’t see asks, so I’m sorry if my response is mad late ^^

[everyday-is-brighter-with-you]

Don’t give up. Because the sun is rising tomorrow for you too.

[ICON ID: Princess Luna smiles sweetly at an opossum hanging upside down and a snake is beside her too.  ICON ID] \\

[HEADER ID: The Progress Pride flag. A purple box with scratchy texture is edited in. Text on it reads 'I RIDE WITH THE PACK MFER' in allcaps. The box is outlined red, glowing yellow. Realistic fire is on top of it. Text down of box reads 'ur cool 2 with a cute smiley face’. end HEADER ID] 

 i wrote these here bcuz its not showing fully in the under icon description option

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PINNED INTRO POST

- Kanmani.கண்மணி!!! Name. Proud of it. You can say Mani for short. If we’re friends and you want to be cUTE you can say,,,Kanna :) (smile emote )

- Tamil Indian, Sunni muslim.

-I’m a young adult.

-He/him. It/Its for specific close people( ask me first before using...!) All the letters in Q-U-E-E-R Babeeyyyyy

-Neurodivergent...probably !

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blacklivesmatters.carrd.co 

-Inclus.

I just do not want to blog about the mspec lesbians or gays debate right now, I am currently neutral, please respect this.

-I’m sorry for my previous words against it, I support SAM (Split Attraction Model) users

-TME( Transmisogyny Exempt)

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bootlickers, pro-BJPs DNI. Proshippers and ‘anti-antis’ DNI. ‘’transmisandry\transandrophobia’’ supporters DNI( I’m not very clear on the concept you’re trying to express but i don’t like the community members involved so far). transmeds DNI. Radfems DNI.

Hamilton, South Park\Family Guy, Attack On Titan, Hetalia etc fans of similar media DNI...if the whole purpose of it is bigoted misinfo and hate, I dont want to involved with any fandom or fans of it. Ymmv I guess since everyone has different standards.

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feel free to tell me if I ever reblog from a bad source, or do something shitty myself. I will try to correct it. Trying to be better about accountability. Note: I don’t necessarily follow everyone I reblog from.

i try to block liberally.

To message me(and assuming I don’t know you); send me an ask explaining why you want to; I’ll reply privately. You can ask me about any deleted posts.

Don’t vagueblog about me please.

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I’m sorry ever for hurting someone. I’m trying to be better. I was confused on a lot of things and I may not have been clear. There’s not much I can do except say that if you have an issue with me clear it directly with me first please.

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I LOVE THE HIM.... ↓ ❤︎

[ GIF ID: Digitally made and fully colored GIF of Dr Habit. His eyes are closed. He looks happy. He rocks fast from side to side, hair bouncing around, mouthing, ‘’I love you!’’. BG is mild yellow-orange. end ID]

by finndraws

[chal-lelerc]

ok so like. here’s my harry potter house thing. i’m ngl i tried to do this but then i deleted it bc it was getting too long and i didn’t have the attention span but. it kept sticking in my brain so i decided to pick it back up and as such, i’ve lost the original post but it was a quarantine activity (sort drivers into houses, assign quidditch positions, explain) posted by @verstappened​. houses done first, then positions, then explanations for both. i tried to make feasible teams, i.e making sure there arent too many of a single position per house, so this really screwed some of the sorting but oh well.

i did the houses first, then positions, then explanations in that order for the most part.

5/13/20: the sorting was mostly done before i heard all the differing opinions (of which there were many!)

5/19/20: alright so this is literally like 2 months old but i’ve just finished it lolol

Lewis Hamilton:

Slytherin: THE GLORY MAN. the aloof kind of superiority, confidence, is top dog, he’s simply the pinnacle of it all. kind of lethal and doesn’t do the whole ‘looking up to others’ things (outwardly, but he seems very soft on the inside tbh). very majestic and is almost a gryffindor, the kind of slytherin that Merlin is. hard-working, got here from incredibly humble beginnings, which kind of stands out from the rest, but he’s clearly now at the top level of society. still very protective of Others. scarily ambitious. Was originally a gryffindor but I wanted the brits to be in different houses for their quidditch positions to work. Could honestly go either way though.

Seeker: more glory. periodt. he stays winning and scoring the most points. clutch-man. Speedy boy, kind of in a different world than everyone else when competing (he’s always at the front lifetimes away from everyone else lmao. playing a diff game.)

Valtteri Bottas:

Hufflepuff: HE SEEMS. LIKE. A. BIG. CHILD. always relegated and brushed off but is literally God-Tier and no one can convince me otherwise. i consider him to be rather reliable (reflecting only the 2019 season at least lmao). a bit of a vindictive streak bc he knows what he’s Capable Of even when others underestimate him. has a very bright smile.

Beater: have u seen him. he’s a big boy even though he’s 5′8 and only an inch taller than lando norris he seems bigger than he is ok

Charles Leclerc:

Slytherin: this bitch. what a snake. hiss hiss.

Chaser: he wants what lewis hamilton has but chose the wrong position. still a star in his own right. pride and joy of his house, will be at the lead of every formation play unless told otherwise by his head of house, to which he will brood and complain ab but comply in the end bc he wants Team Success and loyalty to his Family. scores the most points on the team and people act like he carries even though he literally has a partner(s).

ok but fr my gut said charles is a slytherin (do i really need to explain why? very critical, doesn’t accept inferiority, somehow succeeds. just a feeling his brain seems to fit motorsport politics well), but i was seriously contemplating whether he’d be a gryffindor to max’s slytherin instead. but then i saw someone mention the whole lion schtick and i was like for all of max’s brattiness he is Gryffindor so sharl is snake. sorry don’t make the rules just follow them.

further edit: this was written before he started streaming (this is how old this draft is) and can u believe him he’s the epitome of the “not all slytherins r evil wenches” idea

Sebastian Vettel:

Ravenclaw: idk for all of Seb’s goofiness he just seems cerebral to me. Seems to know mildly irrelevant facts and is really quite smart however is hopeless in the modern age. Kind of that wise old(er he’s not that old) man knowledge. I’d trust him to give me all the life advice I need but also to write a 10 page essay on the nuances of the effect of emotion on verbal language (which we all know he is very experienced with).

Keeper: it’s the protective Dad Power.

Max Verstappen:

Gryffindor: WAS REALLY GONNA PUT HIM IN SLYTHERIN BC HE’S A NASTY LIL SHIT. TOTAL BRAT. GIVES FUCK ALL WHAT OTHERS SAY. BUT HE IS LION AND LION IS HE SO GRYFFINDOR IT IS. also just bc he needs to oppose sharl in every way possible it’s called Poetic Cinema. also his driving style is clearly the bravery and confidence to the point of recklessness that is prevalent among gryffindors.

Chaser: again, he must oppose Charles. so, not a seeker although he’s clearly singularly the most prized competitor. just like Charles, pride and joy of house, their star chaser. the comparisons never end. the competition never ends. the fighting never ends. one of the most interesting and dynamic performers to watch, is predictable in that he’s not predictable except that he will always be aggro to the max. will always be in trouble for getting rough bc that’s Not His Job but that’s just the gryffindor disregard for rules. master point scorer.

Alex Albon:

Gryffindor: was really a toss up btwn this and Hufflepuff but the ultimate deciding factor was the fact that I wanted all the British Boys to be seekers. he really just sticks it out as max’s teammate like a real one (nothing against max, everything against Helmet Merco) for the good of the team, still is sweet with max anyway. fitting that they’re in the same house too.

Seeker: he’s not the small boy that lando and lewis are but he is (thai/)British. very special boy (big ups on the promotion even tho it was Sad Times for Pear) deserves very special job. also he has a hot girlfriend (alex albon who i only know lily he’s boy toy) idk how that’s relevant but it seems fitting.

Carlos Sainz:

Ravenclaw: bc he’s a spaniard but is still better at english than Lando (i think everyone is tbh). Seems to be a quiet type of smart, sensible, but perhaps this is just the consequence of being compared to Lanno at all times LMAO (no hate all love bby Lannd). would be the type of ravenclaw to follow his friends on absolutely idiotic ventures but would step in to prevent near death or likely-legal-problem causing actions (and only then; otherwise it’s every man for themselves and everyone is free to make a fool of themselves and break some laws. carlos may dabble in such practices.)

Chaser: seems to be a go-getter, not going for points doesn’t even cross his mind. will always be the one driving up the pitch, the strategist of sorts bc he seems big(ger) brain (than lando lololol).

Edit: I wrote this part ab him long ago but this entire section of this post is now irrelevant and canceled.

Lando Norris:

Hufflepuff: you all know why. zero explanation needed. like, none.

also has a bit of an aggressive streak which tends to catch ppl off guard. is not afraid to confront u (hello pageNO) and at times defies the hufflepuff stereotype of being perpetually happy go-lucky (he has his bad days!). but when with His True Crew he is absolutely a hufflepuff ball of energy.

Seeker: small and speedy. energetic to the max. small. quirky and different from the rest, so he gets the special job. small. everyone would kill to protect him. small.

Daniel Ricciardo:

Gryffindor: AW I DIDN’T EVEN REALIZE THAT I PUT HIM AND MAX TOGETHER. LOOK I EVEN MADE THEM BOTH CHASERS. AH HOW BIGBRAIN MY MIND IS. everything ab dan is gold. golden skin, the colors in redbull and renault, his smile, just the vibes. he’s just got the enthusiasm and charisma and this intensity of a gryffindor. super aggressive, his late breaking (from his rbr at least) is legendary and maddening with how he pulls it off. is almost a hufflepuff but the gut said no.

Chaser: is Max’s teammate. so yeah. was obviously the star until younger max came to the show. a bit lost in limbo bc of it but they still work well together.

literally want to make him a hufflepuff so. bad. but i couldn’t split up maxiel. also his vibe is just different from other ‘puffs like stroll so.

Esteban Ocon:

Slytherin: ask max.

Chaser: being characterized off of their relationship with max seems to be a theme here. will go head to head with max w/ absolutely zero shits given. talented, but the rivalry with max is entirely secondary to charles imho. still yet to show his full potential but is still quietly a thorn in max’s side. many are interested to see what he is able to do in the immediate future.

Pierre Gasly:

Hufflepuff: GUYS HE WANTS TO OWN A PANDA

Chaser: constantly trying to prove himself and score big boy points. had a stint as seeker until lando came along. did not do as well as ppl had hoped, returned to chaser and proceeded to crush it from there. praticed a lot with charles as children (the friendship dynamic w/ their houses was definitely unforseen but is amazing).

Daniil Kvyat:

Hufflepuff: really wanted to make him a slytherin but the quidditch positions didn’t work out. firmly believe this works though. more of the rough and tumble type, definitely the kind that will sock u in the nose if u write off hufflepuffs as a joke. could honestly probably be a gryffindor too with how unapologetically aggressive he can be in the name of His Beliefs. gives me big dumb himbo vibes now that i think ab it tbh which is mostly the justification here. also he has a child omg.

Chaser: but the one that’s always headbutting bludgers out of the air (torpedo bitches). also had a stint as seeker before but it Was Not His Thing. he’d much rather be chasing and throwing things than seeking things. also he’s pierre’s mate :,) would’ve been a beater but romain and valtteri will not be anything else so daniil took the boot whoops.

Sergio Perez:

Slytherin: it’s just the vibe. knows his weaknesses and is able to make up for it with his confidence and talent in his strengths. very ambitious, plays the right cards at the right times to get the right results. something ab him puts me on edge, but like in a good way; i feel like there’s always a trump card up his sleeve, like when he gets to q3 out of fucking nowhere in a racing point.

Keeper: he gives me the same vibes as seb idk what it is. very dependable, backbone of his team.

Lance Stroll:

Hufflepuff: guys have u seen the guy. he’s just here to have a good time. may seem a bit airheaded at times but he means well 99% of the time. untapped potential. seems like a no thoughts head empty canadian hockey boy (and every one of these types is a hufflepuff don’t fight it); may or may not be the only accurate description of him.

Chaser: he’s just trying his best out here. i

KEEPER?: SO I DID A QUICK GOOGLE AND HE USED TO BE A HOCKEY

GOALIE?????

so scratch my initial thoughts (tbh i didn’t really know where to put him and i originally had romain as keeper but that’s an issue to fix later on now) BECAUSE LANCE STROLL IS A keeper GOALIE AND NO ONE CAN REFUTE THIS. ABSOLUTELY NO HUMAN OF THIS EARTH. WHAT GLORIOUS INFORMATION TO STUMBLE ACROSS.

Kimi Raikkonen:

Slytherin: guys i really don’t have an in depth analysis of this but i don’t think iceman needs one.

Beater: see above^. y’all must get the vibe.

tbh could also be a keeper tho similar energies to seb and checo, but honestly his no fucks given attitude is ultimately what swayed me

Antonio Giovinazzi:

Gryffindor: he just has that majestic quality (that could also fit a slytherin but i only see red when i see antonio). look at that lion’s mane. also he’s one of kimi’s to paddock friends? seems fitting that he’s a gryffindor to kimi’s slytherin.

Chaser: plays second fiddle to the duo that is max and daniel, often regulated to vibing on the side. but he’s there and he’s important and he has potential (i’ve been seeing ppl talking ab a ferrari move and i’m positively shaken). [edit: again, this post is old.]

im sorry its glaringly obvious idk much about him asdfjasldkd

Kevin Magnussen:

Slytherin: guys lots of these are just self explanatory sorry if i seem like im taking the cheap way out but it’s fact. brundle and crofty call him a great white shark for crying out loud.

Beater: unapologetically chaotic. lurking around the edges making people feel hunted. spends more time playing baseball in the middle of the matches than quidditch and sometimes it backfires but it’s good fun and it sometimes works.

Romain Grosjean:

Hufflepuff: y’all he’s such dad energy and he likes to cook. gets written off a lot but he actually cares (he’s a part of the grand prix drivers assoc.!). he seems so wholesome and he spends time with his kids and their school work when he can do u feel those water drops yeah those r my tears.

Beater: i really wanted to make him a slytherin beater to make him teammates with k-mag but he’s just. not a slytherin. but i kept the beater part. spends the majority of the hufflepuff v. slytherin matches sending bludgers kevin’s way even when he doesn’t mean to. it’s always reciprocated.

George Russell:

Ravenclaw: I’VE SAID IT BEFORE AND I’LL SAY IT AGAIN THIS KID. is so marvelously well spoken and he just has such a simple yet effective way with words. he knows what’s reasonable to expect but never fails to expect the most that he can given his circumstances. again, mentioned this before but a lot of it is his accent. the glottal stop is a historically stereotypically rural (i.e. “uneducated”) thing but I’m American and I Don’t Listen to the Rules, so the accent just makes him seem so sophisticated to me especially when he’s saying things like “horriiiiiiiific” and presenting his hefty powerpoints.

Seeker: my British Boys Are Seekers headcanon continues. definitely a Golden Boy of the team kind of guy (hello tragic dumpsterfire that is williams :/ ).

Nicholas Latifi:

Hufflepuff: same boat as lance. his twitch streams are so wholesome he’s just chilling man. twitter made me write him off as daft and unnecessary at first but like fuck twitter i’m all here for ninky latvia now.

Chaser: lowkey gives me keeper vibes as well? the sensible, level-headedness. but obvs that’s lance so chaser it is. still the level-headedness that helps him hold down the fort btwn pierre and daniil who can tend to get a bit imaginative, and also the energies of them + lando.

5/19/20: so it’s quite clear to me that i grew tired of brain functions the more time i took on this and the later ones are a bit lacking and for that i’m very sorry. that being said i’m still happy to see this finished bc the idea was VERY exciting for me.

[britishchick09]

1984 livewatch

the time has finally come to watch the full movie! it’ll be sad, it’ll be disturbing, it’ll possibly be cringy, but it’ll be a lot of fun! :D

we start out with the mgm lion! noice ;)

epic quote B)

wait why is opera music playing i thought we’d start at the 2 minutes hate

OMG what if they’re gonna hate on opera

this looks like a drive-in movie tbh

narrator: “this is a land of peace and hope, a land of plenty...” OH SHUT UP YOU

they’re showing wheat like it’s little house on the prairie BOI YOU’RE IN LONDON

this is epic propaganda B)

what if the war footage was taken from ww2 and thus... isn’t real :o

HOLD UP is the eurasian war racist?

THE QUEEN HAS ENTERED THE CHAT

WHAT ARE THEY ALL SHOUTING I CAN’T HEAR WHAT THE FDR GUY IS SAYING SHUT UPPPPP

oh no it be u (his face is like ‘WHAT IS GOING ON’ and it’s very lol)

julia’s so into this! :o

o’brien’s like ‘ohhh!!!’

look who decided to SHOW UP FINALLY

he pauses a bit before reluctantly joining in yas ♥

OMG THIS IS LIKE A SCHOOL ASSEMBLY STOP TALKING GEEZ

good they stopped!

WOWWW DON’T EVEN LIST SUZANNA HAMILTON’S NAME WITH THE OTHERS GIVE HER A ‘WITH’ CREDIT WOWWWWW

this IS a school assembly they’re going back to work!

winston in glasses *chef’s kiss*

ooh a rotary dial! great use of tech from when the book was written :D

winston’s looking over at syme WITH SO MUCH JEALOUSY lol

what if the words they speak are just random stuff with no meaning

OMG confession!!!!!

poor winnie with his cough :(

this confession sounds JUST LIKE WINSTON’S OMG!!!!

winston: “bugger!” he’s a brit lol :D

epic B)

OMG this guy read goldstein’s book SO DID WINSTON!!!!

i love how the diary is in a brick hole that’s so cool :D

the diary scene was filmed on april 4th just like in the movie so that’s way rad man :D

i want you valley!!! :D

ooh they’re put a smol scene of his childhood in there coolio! :D

he  s l e e p

this violin squeak tho :o

OMG THIS IS THE STANDING UP SCHOOL SCENE

it’s not but i can easily imagine it lol :D

he’s a stick omg ;o

when the lady talks to him you know it’s not a recording ;)

lady: “anyone under 45 is perfectly capable of touching his toes” BOI

oh no PARSONS

parsons: “choco rations are going up” c h o c o

parsons: “i seem to have run out of razor blades for some reason’ yeah,,, for some reason... ;)

this is so a cafeteria scene at school

THEY SAW EACH OTHER OMG

♫ i suddenly see him standing there, a beautiful stranger tall and fair, i wanna stuff this weird food in my faaaace! ♫ :D

me: “this is so romantic!” winston’s thoughts: “lemme smash HER WITH A ROCK”

wait did the lady say pineapple grenade???

HIS FACE LOOOL

syme rip boi

the 11th edition isn’t thicc :/

aww winston’s smol nod ♥

parsons: “by 2050 we won’t have conversations like this!” yeah because of screens lol

OMG the food looks and taste like meat but isn’t IT’S PLANT BASED MEAT!!!! :o

parsons just pulled a ‘hey need help with that?’ and put winston’s food on his plate EPIC

julia’s lookin’ at u ;)

YAS PROLES HOPE!!! :D

oh no DON’T TALK ABOUT THE 50 YEAR OLD WOMAN SEX WINSTON

OH NOOOOOOO

he liked the ‘bright red lips’ yet...

THIS CHICK’S LIPS AREN’T BRIGHT BOI

poor baby desperate for money :(

let’s GET THIS BEAT

hand on cheek = doublepluscute ^_^

epic foreshadowing B)

OMG CHESTNUT TREE POEM FORESHADOWINNNGGGGGG

OMG a couple is making out in the bar EPIC

winston’s just like ‘nnope’

OMG THE THOUGHT POLICE WERE FOLLOWING????

he’s at an antique store in prescott bless his heart ♥

mr. charrington sounds so kind WHYYYY

THE BIRTH OF A QUEEN ♥

mr. charrington says ‘4 dollars’ but they’re in london??

YAS BELLS OF ST. CLEMENS!!!! :D

winston: “what was that?” mr. charrington: “something old.” no DUH

they see each other againnn!!!!! :D

winston writes that he hates her SAME WITH A LOOK LIKE THAT

OMG SMOL WINNIE BIG O’BRIEN????? :o

his mom is lying dead in the field like the erza kid in ‘kirsten’s promise’ :(

he’s just... staring

OMG SPYING ON THE SPICY STARING ACTION :o

she PLONKED

that ‘ow!’ was so fake jules!

this is like anna and hans but not as bad underneath!

julia: “it’s nothing!” but this is turning out to be something... ;)

we’re half an hour in and wowza it’s gone by so fast! :D

winston: *gets a cute love note from julia* YEET!

THE HELICOPTER IS BACC!!!!! they’re really not making the spying subtle

OMG THIS IS THE THOUGHT CRIMINAL SCENE YAAAAS!!!!! :D

winston is the best plummer confirmed

kid: “you’re a thought criminal!” winston: *gives a slight ‘wha’ face and smiles* ICONIC

:)

the crowd is clapping and cheering over the war yet winston’s not doing anything SAME

jules is just scooching by lol

HAND HOLDING WHILE PASSING A NOTE OMG ♥♥

the sky does exist! :o

the telescreen has some great music :D

winston’s joining the ‘big man’s hiking group’ suure you are... ;)

the train is going to the beat of the kids’ singing coolio! :D

big brother is called ‘bb’ yas bby!

YEEES THE I WANT YOU VALLEY SCEENE!!!!!

the lq audio made the twig crack and the leave brushing really weird lol

winston: “i want you.” I-CON-IC!!!! :D

THAT SMIRK THO

winston: “i want everyone corrupt.” julia: “i’ll suit you, then. i’m corrupt to the core.” *mal screech*

OH NONONONOONO SHE GONNA TAKE HER TOP OFF BI PANIC BI PANICCC!!!!!

she really went commando huh

ALL THE WAY

the sex looks like it hurts NO WAY MAN NOT FOR ME NNNNOPE

i’m glad it was only a part you couldn’t really see and not a full on thing I DON’T NEED THAT

awww she’s so peaceful after big naughty :)

this is vaguely gay...

aww winston’s hair ruffling in the wind ♥

c r o n c h

also did he just cronch into a potato???

OMG THIS IS JUST LIKE SCHOOL

teacher: “when the orgasm is finally eradicated...” totally julia: “NOT ON MY WATCH”

winston is the kid who smokes in glass while julia is the one kid who Just Doesn’t Care lol :D

thoughtcrime THIS IS THOTCRIME

wow syme is still alive?

julia: “you dropped your ink pencil” you mean pen?

winnie’s back in prescott! :D

the room is 4 bucks a night noice B)

BACC TO THE H8 BBY

the modern say 2 minutes hate is probably just a livestream with kids texting ‘h8 xd’ in the chat lol :D

winston’s thoughts: “she who is so careful...” boi she threw a dictionary at the telescreen in the book THAT’S SO NOT CAREFUL

hey girl CUTE LQ SMILE YOU HAVE THERE!!! :D

YAS THE REAL COFFEE SCENE!!!!! :D

she has so many smiles YAS!!!!

she’s so eager with showing him I LOVE YOU SO MUCH JULES ♥♥♥

she says ‘real sugar, real bread’ and... jam

winston: “how did you manage to get all this?” jules has her ways... ;)

winston: “i want you” julia: “i want you too” YAS :D ♥♥

the thiccc singer is here!! :D

she’s so pretty! ♥

aww the stroke ♥

his hands are shaking as he touches her :(

winston: “freedom is the freedom to say two plus two equals four. if that is granted, all else follows” iconic!

YAS THE PAPER!!! :D

it be gin time ;)

he scratches the face off the gin bottle woah :o

I JUST REALIZED THAT THIS IS O’BRIEN :o

winston’s little ‘yes!’ at getting the 10th newspeak dictionary ♥

that’s a look of longing my friends! :o

winston: “the call has come. all my life i’ve been waiting for it...” and now he’ll go into the unknown... ;)

AAND we cut to naked julia eating an apple! slight bi panic

she’s touching the paperweight queen love it ♥

SHE KNOWS THE CLEMENS YAS!!! :D

julia: “i just know it!” BOI YOUR G-PA HELPED OUT

winston: “the only thing to do is to walk out of here before it’s too late” thus my ‘julia lives’ au comes in! :D

winston: “never seen one another again” ...oh he was talking about that NOT IN MY AU SON

julia: “you do, i do.” omg marriage :o

YAAAS JULSTON KISS!!!!!!! :D

fluffy! ♥

julia: “i love you.” awww :)

winston: “julia. do you think the resistance is real?” julia: “none of it’s real.” STRAWBERRY FIELDS FOREVER!

♥

OMFG THERE WAS AN EXPLOSION :o

work is scrambling like eggs!

poor headache bby! :(

epic B)

winston’s dreaming of his bishy selfish chocolate mom adventure!

the rats were there when his mom and sister were vaporized! :o

she’s in the dress! ♥

they’re talking about betrayal and julia’s like ‘they can’t do that!” OH BOI BUT THEY CAN!!!!

julia: “they can’t get to your heart” aww :)

awkward...

winston sees o’brien WITHOUT JULIA THE F????

this feels like the principal’s office lol :D

o’brien’s voice is so deep and british ♥

the way he clutches the newspeak dictionary is so cute! :D

aww he’s stroking the pages as he reads :)

the oceania anthem sounds russian :o

YAAAAAAAASSSS!!!!!!! :D

so soft ♥♥

winston: “julia, my love.” MY LOVE MY LOVE AHHH!!!! :D

YEES THE COFFEE SMILEEE!!!!! :D

she’s hungry... she wants coffee... who’s gonna tell her coffee isn’t food?

omg i saw winston butt :o

:)

winston: “she’s beautiful.” julia: “she’s a meter around the hips easily” winston: “that’s her standard of beauty.” YAAAS!!! :D

winston: “the future is ours.” YAS

OH CRAP THEY SAID ‘WE ARE THE DEAD’ NOOOO

mr. charington is loud compared to how i thought in the book

his ‘you are the dead’ should’ve been quieter like winston and julia’s then he could be loud!

FBI OPEN UP!!!!!

charrington: “here comes a candle to guide you to bed, here comes a chopper to chop off your head!” OHHHH NICE ONE MR C!!!!!! :D

RIP TO A QUEEN :’(

i should be a bit more heartbroken BUT THAT MR C RHYME MAN

OMFG THEY JUST BEAT UP JULES

SHE’S IN SO MUCH PAIN NOOOO :’(

why does he look old

awww :(

delete the drunk old lady BUT GIVE US PARSONS SUUURE

i dread the scene to come...

parsons didn’t say that he said ‘down with big brother’ so that’s a bummer :/

aww poor parsons he’s crying! :(

oh SNAP room 101!!!! :o

poor parsons but at least that scene wasn’t a thing!

OUCH THAT SMACC LOOKED LIKE IT HURT

is this leading into the bloody mouth scene? I STILL NEED TO KNOW WHAT THAT IS

winston doesn’t know where he is IT’S THE I WANT YOU VALLEY!!!

hold up this is just a vision ok BUT WHERE’S THE BLOODY MOUTH SCENE

frankenstein and spirit halloween called!

also o’brien flipped the switch without warning BISH

o’brien: “you suffer from a defective memory” and you suffer from a BISH MEMORY SIR

remember winston it’s all in the mind... ;)

WHY DID O’BRIEN SHOCK  WINSTON HE SAID FIVE

'how many fingers’ is a trick question because winston sees four YET WE SEE FIVE OHHH

mother gothel vibes...

awww winston’s little scared squeak :(

winston: “i don’t know... i don’t know!” SAY FIVE WINSTON SAY FIVEEEEE

o’brien’s voice is so calming yet it spouts evil words...

julia immediately betrayed winston BECAUSE SHE HAD A ROSEMARY KENNEDY yet she’s somehow still alive without damage by the end???

ooh a new shot! :D

they just faded to black and showed a new angle which is a bit weird...

o’brien: “you’re thinking that my face is old and tired...” because it belongs to poor richard burton!

o’brien just yoinked winston’s tooth out tho :o

mother gothel strikes again!

winston to o’brien: “i love you.” you don’t say that back to jules YET YOU SAY IT TO O’BRIEN BOIIIII

o’brien: “you’re one of us. one of the chosen.” one of us gooble gobble! also ANAKIN IS THAT YOU????

winston just said ‘i love you’ oMG OMG OM WAIT WWAIIITIT

AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :D

seconds after she says ‘i love you too’ SHE’S FREAKING SHOT DAAANG NO PUNCHES PULLED BACK!!!!!

aww he called her ‘my love’ even in a dream

so that was the infamous bloody mouth scene and it was quicker than i thought it would be? at least i have a bright julia smile! ♥

OMG winston’s calling for her yet it sounds so weird WHYYY

he’s much improved!

they’re skyping lol

after all he’s been through he still hates bb! :o

ROOM 101 :o

room 101 is a personalized experience just for you! :D

also IT’S A DREAM MIRROR

omg the rats are GOING AT EACH OTHER GEEZ

winston’s squeak at the rats no!!! :(

‘do it to julia’ sounds a bit selfish but it’s the betrayal we’ve been waiting for!

...NOT

uh oh here comes the awkward reunion...

they should’ve said “...sup.” to each other

the bartender saying “on the house!’ tiredly each time is great :D

winston: “thank you for coming.” julia in her thoughts: “yeah whateves bro.” :/

at least they can still bond over something :)

jules gin time ;)

they ratted out on each other true love???

julia: “we must meet again.” winston: “yes, we must meet again.” ...they never met again

but if they did it would be a bro time!

winston: “i have seduced party members of both sexes” BI NANI???? :o

since his crimes are like the guy’s from earlier... what if he didn’t do them and was convinced that he did? :o

in the book he says i love you to bb, but here he turns away and says it... what if he still loves julia? :o

and with that question, the movie has come to a close! it’s a fantastic little film that closely follows the book. while i would’ve liked to see julia with winston at o’brien’s and the drunk jail lady, the cutting of the gross parsons scene, the addtion of the bloody mouth scene and the possibly hopeful ending make up for it. overall, this is an amazing adaptation of such a great book! :D

[incarnateirony]

Fine. No asterisks. You’re a bitch. I was trying to be nice. I was also trying to be thoughtful of those who follow you who find sensitive wording triggering. But fine, you linked to a convicted fucking felon who distributed child pornography and is believe to be a pedophile. You may want to delete the post that makes it look like you are endorsing them getting props and sets given this isn’t new info in fandom you’re just an out of the loop granny. Better?

Actually that isn’t what I said, I said provide a source like a normal person and don’t extremize things into “bad looks” and “endorsements” when trying to “correct” people if you’re actually doing it in earnesty. I didn’t say you had to post triggering words. I said provide a source that could have directed with words like “He has a dangerous history”, but instead, you chose to show your nature in this because someone pointed out your needlessly inflammatory method. Sorry not everyone follows every wing of twitter drama? Every single @ or account? I know some of you live in twitter, I pulled a tweet. Get over /your/ self. Learn to inform people normally instead of as a self absorbed teenager in desperate need of going back to school to have something productive to do. 

I said you were correct, I just said you guys need to learn how to do things like approach corrections normally, not turn everything into an “endorsement”, or getting so pissed you take “please leave a source” as “OMG U WANT ME TO SAY TRIGGER WORDS”--you could link to my previous post and not a source. If you’re actually educated on a topic and interested you can leave references instead of being one of ten thousand people online spewing buzz words and asterisks and leaving other people to sort out if it’s in a vat of made up things that fly around or truth--and I pointed out I found out it was true. Congrats! You made a point, now I’m saying I’m tired of nobody knowing how to do it /civilly./ And yes I will be uncivil about that exhaustion at this point.

Listen, kid, I’m at work. I’ll hunt down whatever freaking post later, your asks pop up in my inbox, old posts don’t. I’m just saying you need to learn to info share without trying to jump for the throat like some conflict seeking opportunist looking to score hits. Guess what?

It’s not a good look.

Which is probably why you’re on anon.

Edit: Oh look exactly one follower lost *sad trombone*

[wiltin]

Ugh im sorry in advance

Here's my total drama highschool fic that I wrote almost a year ago, in all its un-edited glory... disclaimer i havent even read all of it in months

---

Gwen looked at the bulletin board hanging on the wall of her homeroom. Cheerleading, band, football, math team, yearbook, photography… Nothing interesting. School for the day was over, and not many people crowded around the bulletin as they had at lunch or before school. Of course, already signed up for cheerleading was Heather Culus, Lindsay Amber, and Izzy Loco. Everyone knew that Izzy never made cheerleading, but she always signed up. Under football, there were the usual names of Lightning Jefferson, Alejandro Burromuerto, and Justin Timber. However, there was a new name there. Owen had signed up for football? That was... odd.

“Heeeey, Gwen! Are you signing up for photography club this year? Ooh, maybe yearbook!” The grinning face of Sierra Stocks obstructed her view. It was hard to avoid her, especially when she knew everyone’s schedules by heart.

“Uh, no! Not this year, haha.”

“But it’s senior year? It’s now or never.”

“No, I’m just not very… Good at arranging pictures! Yeah, that's it, my skills are no match for yours, obviously.”

“Omg, how about photography? Didn’t you, like, take a bunch of pictures that won some contest or something? You should totally sign up for photography!”

“Nah, sorry, school clubs really just aren’t my scene, y’know?”

“That’s what my adorable little Cody says! It’s ridiculous. Anywho, see ya later.” Sierra hopped off.

A tile on the ceiling was moved, and out poked a head. “Is she gone?”

“Yeah, but how the hell did you get up there?” Cody came crashing to the floor, grinning.

“Owen helped me out, anyway, Gwen, if you’re free after school-”

“Sorry, I have to come to tryouts with the gang. We usually go for Owen’s guy-thirsting over Justin’s sake, but he actually signed up this time, so I’ll probably have to be there even longer.”

“Woah, Owen is trying out for football? I just hope it’s not like the time he tried out for cheerleading…” Owen had tried to be on the top of the pyramid. It didn’t last. Lindsay broke her leg.

“It won’t be, I think. At least he can’t crush as many people in one go. Probably.”

“But he can crush on as many people! Eh, eh?”

“Yeah, that’s not worth a laugh.”

“Sorry. Too bad Izzy can’t support him, what with her tryouts and all.”

“Yeah, too bad. Who knew such a psychopath was capable of having a crush?”

“Uh, Sierra ring a bell?”

“You called? Cody, my love, I am here!” Cody ran off, and straight into Noah.

“Do you mind, Allergy Boy?” Noah stooped down to pick up a paper that had been knocked out of his hand, but Sierra beat him to it.

“A love letter?”

“Give that back!” Noah’s face was red as he attempted to snatch the envelope back.

“Oooh, who’s it for? I gotta know for my blog-” Noah grabbed it in a fist, and nearly ripping it, he managed to get the envelope back.

“Bug off.” Noah walked away, the envelope still crumpled in his fist. Sierra still had a gleeful look on her face.

“This will be fun. I already ship it! I can’t wait to make a ship name.”

“Ship… Name?”

“It’s like a merging of name-”

“Did you actually see who the letter was addressed to?”

“Nope. OMG, I have to get to my locker. Bye, Codykins!” Sierra ran off, and Cody faced Gwen once more.

“Who do you think it was for, if it even was a love letter?” Cody asked.

“No idea. Maybe… Lindsay?” Gwen laughed, and Cody joined in.

“No way, she’s too dumb for him!” Cody exclaimed.

“Yeah… that’s the joke…?” Gwen stared at him. “Anyways, Noah never even talks about girls. For all we know, he’s gay, so we can’t rule guys out here.”

“Gay? Haha, I can’t see him as gay. He’s about as gay as you!”

“Cody?”

“Yeah?”

“I’m a lesbian.”

Earlier that day, at lunch, in the cafeteria- Owen was checking his phone. He opened up the school app and saw an anonymous message.

‘dont post this, dont tell anyone about it, just read this quickly.

i cant come off anon for this, but i just wanted you to know

I think im in love w/u’ (Help i cant write)

Owen’s eyes scanned the message, growing wider with every word.

“Yo! Ooh, you got a message, Big O? Can I read it?” Izzy looked over his shoulder. Owen quickly pressed delete.

“Izzy! It’s so great to see you! See, it was just, uh, spam mail! Yes, spam mail, that’s definitely it, not a love confession or anything!”

“Hey…” She squinted. “Can I have your pudding cup?”

“Oh-ho! Yeah, sure, Iz!” He mainly gave it to her to ease her suspicion, but his appetite had disappeared anyways. Surprising, knowing him.

“Anyways, Big O, I’m sorry I can’t come to your tryouts to support you, but y’know i’ve got one of my own.”

“Oh, yeah, it’s no big deal.” Owen laughed. “I understand, Iz. Cheerleading is important to you.”

“Oh, right, Owen, I almost forgot! I have to go.”

“Oh. Bye, Iz!”

After school, Noah read over the note again, one last time before he went to the football field to watch Owen try out.

‘I know you sent the message. I won’t tell him unless you pursue him.’

He truly was in trouble.

    Gwen went to the football field to watch tryouts. Only a couple people sat in the stands. She walked over to where her friends sat.

    “Hey, Gwen.” Zoey greeted.

    “Hey, welcome!” DJ gave Gwen a high-five, for whatever reason he had for high-fiving someone for just showing up.

    “Hi, Gwen!” Cody smiled.

    “Hey, guys.” She sat down, and they were silent for a moment.

    “Hey, Noah, you’re being awfully quiet. No ‘hey there goth girl, congrats on finally showing up’?”

    “Hey there, goth girl, congrats on finally showing up.” Gwen smiled, gently punching his shoulder, and sat down on the bleachers, casting her eyes out to the field. She heard a yell behind her.

    “OH COME ON! ACTUALLY PUT SOME EFFORT INTO IT!” Gwen looked behind her and saw Courtney, yelling at the top of her lungs.

    “Could you keep it down, Courtney?” Gwen suggested.

    Courtney grew sheepish and muttered something that sounded like ‘sorry,’ and Gwen returned her attention to the auditions, or at least pretending to, all while not noticing the blush on Courtney’s cheeks.

    After a lot of things and stuff that had to do with football, none of which Gwen understood or paid much attention to, the tryouts were over with. Noah’s grip on his book subtly tightened as Owen ran over to the bleachers where his friends sat, a grin on his face.

    “I feel like I did pretty good!” Owen was optimistic, and for all Gwen knew about football, he could have done the worst or the best job, and it all would look the same to her.

    “Yeah, Owen, you did great! I’m sure you’ll make it.”

---

... AND THATS where my bitch ass seventh grade self left off. In the middle of dialogue. I hate her

[sakurauchis]

                                        H i a t u s  N o t i c e

┈ Hello everyone! It’s Aleena; some of you may know me by my old URL’s kageyamastobio or dazaiosamu! it’s been an incredibly long time since I’ve last been on tumblr or have posted an edit. As you can probably tell from the title, this is an extremely long overdue post that I’m finally getting around. I’ve been putting this off for so long, but It’s my birthday today on August 16th & I decided that it would finally be a good time to talk about this. I wanted to thank everyone properly and let you all know what’s going on. 

┈ I’ve been thinking of quitting tumblr for quite a while now. As some of you might have been able to tell, I haven’t updated my queue in a very long time. The posts that have been running once a day is whatever I have left that’s been tagged from months ago. It’s almost completely empty now >< I also haven’t posted any edits in a long time too. It’s just a lot of time for me now to maintain my blogs and I think going on this hiatus will help a lot.

┈ It makes me sad to say this but I don’t have as much free time to spend on tumblr anymore. When I first got into tumblr in my last year of high school, I used to love running my blog, as well as being in a bunch of sideblogs with the amazing people that I have met on here. I’m actually entering my third year of university this upcoming fall! A lot of time has flown by and i’m glad for the years i’ve been on here. But I haven’t been able to stay up to date with seasonal anime, and I feel like I have fallen so far behind. I’ve also lost a lot of motivation to keep making edits too :c It’s not that I don’t enjoy making edits anymore, I still do! It’s a wonderful passion I was able to learn and dedicate myself to for the past three years. A majority of my time now is dedicated to school, studying, and more irl things. I also have a boyfriend now haha! Even when I did manage to find some time, I felt like I would only go on tumblr to make sure that my blog wasn’t falling behind. Eventually that kept piling up because I couldn’t keep up to date with the all the new content. 

┈ I still really really love watching anime, reading manga & webtoons, as well as finding new content for all these fandoms. I can’t believe that almost all of my mutuals are still following me despite not being active anymore. It means a lot and I love you guys all so much :’) If anyone is curious, I’ve basically been mostly active on twitter at this point. I’ve been using my main twitter for animanga (and kpop) content as well as my idol twitter for my mobage games. A good chunk of my close mutuals already have me on there, but if anyone is interested, I would love to still keep in touch with everyone on twitter (mutual or not)~

┈ This is also sucks for me to say, but certain tumblr fandoms have also really drained the enthusiasm and motivation that I used to have for them. While I still love those fandoms to death, I find myself not actively keeping up to date because of how tiresome the fandom can be :x I know not all fandoms are like this but it’s sad to see the negative sides of them so often on here. I just don’t want to associate with that anymore! This also leads into another small topic, but I was heavily involved in a lot of drama here a year(?) ago or something. While I have definitely moved on, some parts of it still do affect me today. I’m not going to lie, it has made me not want to make edits as much as before as a result of it. I know I’ve been mentioning a lot of sad stuff but in the long run, i’ve really enjoyed the times i’ve spent on here, crying over everyone’s beautiful edits, and getting to know so many different individuals on here ♡ I’ve actually met two amazing IRL friends through tumblr, reconnected a friend through tumblr/anime and that is absolutely crazy to me because they are some of the closest friends I know in person today.

┈ One of the last few things I want to mention here before I wrap it up. I’ve been talking to some friends on my twitter accounts and I have decided that I am not going to permanently delete my tumblr blog! I’m just going on an indefinite hiatus on tumblr. I have a feeling that I will hopefully come back in the near future! I love seeing fanart, and everyone’s edits for anime so much I'm not sure if I will be gone forever. That being said, I will no longer be updating my queue, and edits will no longer be posted as of now for this indefinite hiatus period. I’m not sure how long i’ll be away. But one thing for sure is my love for anime & how I loved to share these feelings with this community! I hope you can all understand. 

┈ Thank you to each and everyone for showing me so much love and support these past three years (this is so cliche and sounds like a sports anime HAHA), i’m so thankful for all the wonderful experiences i’ve been through (good and bad) and what mainly kept me going for so long was all the amazing people I have met on here. I know I have drifted by disconnecting from tumblr, but I want you all to know that I would 100% still love to talk and connect on twitter if anyone wants to :) I’ll be retweeting this quite a few times. I almost forgot to mention but feel free to unfollow if you would like. I won’t take it to heart, I know a lot of people like to keep their following lists clean~ My tumblr will still be here as an archive for all the edits i’ve made. Thanks for understanding and taking the time to read this, have a nice day everyone!

[digimondestined]

1-50 :D (for xxx: Blurred Lines; 42: Aokise Songfics (Need You Now); 46: Try- and Keep Trying; 47, made up title: In the man behold a child) ❤️

1) How old were you when you first starting writing fanfiction?

Oof.  12 ish? FFNet But we don’t speak about it; the site or the writing :P

2) What fandoms do you write for and do you have a particular favourite if you write for more than one?

Right now, I’m more invested in aokise / knb fandom and well, once invested, it’s hard to pull my focus :P Other fandoms I’m interested in writing in as of the moment are Owari No Seraph (Gureshin :P) and Seven Deadly Sins (man, that’s lovely hell)

3) Do you prefer writing OC’s or reader inserts? Explain your answer.

Probably OCs? I haven’t written OC’s in a while but heck, reader inserts sounds kinda of awkward to write :P

4) What is your favourite genre to write for?

…is angst with a happy ending a genre?(Otherwise maybe coming of age?)

5) If you had to choose a favourite out of all of your multi chaptered stories, which would it be and why?

Blurred Lines is the only one that has an actual plot :P and is multi chaptered :P. It’s also got a couple of my favorite tropes such as mutual pining & simultaneous obliviousness. To be honest, I normally don’t edit my works before I put them out (sometimes I’ll get a loving friend to look at it tho :PPPPPP) because I can’t bear reading what I’ve written without cringing, but yeah, I thought Blurred Lines was pretty good :D in terms of writing skill because I’ve been able to read it again aha and I thank all the wonderful people who showered me the work with compliments.

6) If you had to delete one of your stories and never speak of it again, which would it be and why?

LMAO WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I HAVEN’T ALREADY? If I delete stories, it’s always for the reason I’m disappointed with it in hindsight, or xD embarrassed I produced such poo.

7) When is your preferred time to write?

Night time becuz I like to procrastinate, it’s quiet and the dark is cozy.

8) Where do you take your inspiration from?

Other writers/stories, canon material, music, random insights at odd times, prompts sparked by single words or little phrases, prompts from sites or book quotes or from friends and epiphanies, and then mostly I don’t :P 

9) In your Blurred Lines fic, what’s your favourite scene that you wrote?

Chapter 5, the (two I guess?) scene where Aomine’s really upset and Kise makes it his job to take his mind off of it; it’s a memorable moment for both of them because Kise’s determination and hard work really gets to show (SEIRIN GAH; jskghjkghg sg lgsg gsjlsd) in front of two people that mean a lot: himself and Aomine, and for Aomine, it’s an example of how he can be weak and injured too, and is so much more than some give him credit for.

10) In your fic, why did you decide to end it like that? Did you have an alternative ending in mind? Nah, I really liked how it ended actually :) Happy after endings are my favorite :)

11) Have you ever amended a story due to criticisms you’ve received after posting it?

I’ve only gotten harsh criticism once or twice and man, you should’ve seen me RAWRR in their faces :P. Sometimes self criticism- ex: dislike of plot- will get me to edit though; and then there are just times where I’ve been lazy but reading the work, I’ll see flaws that definitely have to be changed and will proceed to do so.

12) Who is your favourite character to write for? Why?

Aomine and Kise are the most fun imo. I go wild with both because of the complexity to both their characters and simply, the inspiration you can see from different works of other authors (Ex: MoustachePenguin wrote JustBreathe with Kise who had crushing depression and KaijosCopyCat wrote When It Rains, It Rains Bullets, where Kise is actually more jaded than Aomine is); point being said, there’s enough material to make a lot reasonable.Kise is fun for his masks and layers; Aomine is great for his relativity. And of course, you can always find a way to knit in angst of some sort :P 

13) Who is your least favourite character to write for? Why?

Lots man. Kuroko, Murasakibara-

14) How did you come up with the title for the xxx? - You can ask about multiple stories. 

SO. Remember how it was planned as a one-shot aha :P I’d gotten 3 chapters and ½ written out before I said screw it and posted them before gradually working on the rest :P 

Anyways, I’d only then finished on a final summary, and with one of the parts being “Lines Blurring”, I thought heck let’s roll with that.

Oh also! Had a hard time getting that summary out. gotta thank my special, one and only snowflake.

15) If you write OC’s, how do you decide on their names?

- Likes to indulge myself; I’ll base OCs of some real characters, then twinkle with the name little bit, maybe adding extra letters or finding names with similar meanings?

- It also has to do with how the name tastes. You know how some words just flow better? (Connotation and all that :P) but like, Jewel over Gem, Crystal over Jewel, Ruby over Everything, etc. etc. etc. etc. etc.

16) How did you come up with the idea for xxx?

Was a prompt- (voldetort :P)

but i was given an open ending option and then i took it and ran with it and turned it into angst with happy ending :P

17) Post a line from a WIP that you’re working on.

Kise stuck out his tongue, Aomine smirked, and they let Momoi laugh herself dry.

18) Do you have any abandoned WIP’s? What made you abandon them?

Yah, who doesn’t? :PP (atop of the temporarily abandoned WIPs :PPP) Either loss of enthusiasm, lack of ability (time, but mostly procrastination :P) to write, or post-insights that lemme realize the story is unsatisfying to the point of repulsive :P

19) Are there any stories that you’ve written that you’d really love to do a sequel to?

Maybe Blurred Lines? Struggle them through 2nd year of school, relationship where it’s so much more precious than a regular, “we-just-began-a-”relationship” because of the stakes. (But then I’d have to like write a conflict???and my inability to be creative would hinder that :P)

20) Are there any stories that you wished you’d ended differently?

I haven’t really “ended” any stories of worthy length, but for Blurred Lines :P. Which had an okay ending in my opinion, though maybe hurriedly carried out XDI imagine when I do get to finishing more/other stories, I might? Because I can be impulsive. :P But then again, I take a heck long time to procrastinate; and sometimes that means more time to think about how a story wants to go- in these cases, I don’t, usually :)

21) Tell me about another writer(s) who you admire? What is it about them that you admire?

I am heck into lots of writers.

Roch; VanillaDaydreams22 (tumblr) and just VanillaDaydreams (ao3) is a great friend and writer :P with a lovely, descriptive style of fluid writing.

A famous one would be moustachiopenguin - wrote lots of heart wrenching stories; aha we both know :P So, imagination, use of plot, detail, etc.

And then there’s an up and new coming one; her name starts with a Y and ends with a U.

22) Do you have a story that you look back on and cringe when you reread it?

Literally all of them. :P Anything from over 4-6 months in particular is a bit of, no thanks :P

23) Do you prefer listening to music when you’re writing or do you need silence?

I prefer music, even though sometimes it’s not helpful and actually, is a hindrance :P but music always helps the mood~

24) How do you feel about writing smutty scenes?

Laughs.

25) Have you ever cried whilst writing a story?

Writing? Nah. Reading? Heck, few times.

26) Which part of your Blurred Lines fic was the hardest to write?

All of it cause I didn’t want to write it, I wanted to waste time~

- In the later chapters, carrying out Aomine’s realization for feelings was a little difficult; I had Satsuki sort of catalyze his action, because he’s pretty heckin determined to get Kise in his unconscious mind; Satsuki’s rejection just enforces the feeling he needs to express himself, though hard. But I occasionally would wonder whether Aomine was made too soft, or OOC in general.

27) Do you make a general outline for your stories or do you just go with the flow?

My impulsiveness pushes me towards flow; but for fics requiring detail, general outline help XD no matter how “general”.

28) What is something you wished you’d known before you started posting fanfiction?

Maybe just the fact that the fandoms I’d get to were in existence :D like how some of us talked about, would have been pretty cool to write with the other gazillion of fan- tho, then again, wouldn’t trade them for you guys aha

There’s a lot of things I’ve learned from it and only with the actual writing action have I come to understand the things :P

29) Do you have a story that you feel doesn’t get as much love as you’d like?

Maybe Lazy or No Questions Asked. Lazy, because it was the first time I’d written something short but with a bit of story to it still, y’know? :P And then No Questions Asked because I just love the trope of uncertainty and obliviousness and pining in the middle of aokise.

30) In contrast to 29 is there a story which gets lots of love which you kinda eye roll at?

Honestly? Say It. It was short and okay but like, plot-wise? Not sure if it deserved all the kindness it/I got XD

32) Are any of your characters based on real people?

I haven’t written any OCs in a while! I imagine one I get back to doing so, they could be :P

33) What’s the biggest compliment you’ve gotten?

Not quite sure. I have shit memory sometimes aha, but all the support is good :D

34) What’s the harshest criticism you’ve gotten?

On one of my first fics, which I’d written 24 chapters / 40K (GASP I KNOW :D IT’LL NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN *SMILES THROUGH THE TEARS OF SAD*) I was told the other chapters should be deleted because it was so bad. But like, the reader had posted said criticism through at least half of the work so :P and a couple of chapters later, said, “This is better! But change everything before this.”I actually got a lot of help/reviews becasue I’d asked for them from various authors aha and fandom was popular and lively; the criticism just went straight through my ears I think. XD

35) Do you share your story ideas with anyone else or do you keep them close to your chest?

I like getting a second opinion if I’m insecure about the idea (often, you guessed right

36) Can you give us a spoiler for one of your WIP’s?

No.

jkjk :P I currently have 4 active WIPs. 1. SECRET (for fanzine :PP), 2. As Long As You Love Me (CJ’s prompt) 3. Some Stuff Has Actually Changed 4. Oops I Did It Again

37) What’s the funniest story you’ve written?

What is humor explain??!?!?

38) If you could collab with any other writer on here, who would it be? (Perhaps this question will inspire some collabs!) If you’re shy, don’t tag the blog, just name it.

- You silly.- Roch + CJ- You, super lovely

39) Do you prefer first, second or third person?

3rd for the most of it. I’ve never written with 1st before but I’m considering it for a work that’d require an extensive cast. 2nd also strikes me as fun though, because of this angsty story I’d read where Kise was the narrator but done through 2nd? 2nd also seems very poetic and I’d like to try it out some day for fun :P

40) Do people know you write fanfiction?

Yeet :P

41) What’s you favourite minor character you’ve written?

Nijimura, Jellal, you name it XD all of them??? You know my tendency to avoid protagonists :P

42) Song fic - What made you decide to use the song Need You Now

It’s a quarter after one, I’m all alone and I need you nowSaid I wouldn’t call but I lost all control and I need you nowAnd I don’t know how I can do without, I just need you now

Angsty and perfect for pining ships.

43) Has anyone ever guessed the plot twist of one of your fics before you posted it?

LMAO I’ve never written a fic long enough for a plot twist to occur; B) I DON’T WRITE PLOT?? XD

44) What is the last line you wrote?

A victory, Kise should think, should be thinking. What is there instead is empathy, but sadness anyways. Oh Aominecchi…

45) What spurs you on during the writing process?

Not much. There are periods of time when I don’t want to write at all and I will find excuses of any kind to get off my laptop, or stay on, and just not write aha. What helps is typically at night when I feel semi-tired, I’ll be motivated to write enough to be a pleasant thought before bed.

46) I really loved your Try and Keep Trying fic. If you were ever to do a sequel, what do you think might happen in it?

GoM have a Winter Cup Banquet and there’s alcohol there. AoKise has done a lot more pining and both gotten better at hiding it. They meet awkwardly at the event becuz of their friends talking to each of their friends and then suddenly disappearing while AoKise are startled, staring at each other. Cautious tense talk tried to be made easier by both of them; Kise makes a joke like, “Alcohol would make this a little easier, right Aominecchi?”

And Aomine blurts out stupid becuz high strung, smth like, “Is that what you thought the last time?”

AND THEN, Kise is also high strung right, so his reply is probably something dumb; maybe a few more lines and then:

KISE ACCIDENTALLY CALLS HIM ‘DAIKI’ AND THEY BOTH JUST FREEZE AND BLUSH PROFUSELY BC THEY’RE REMINDED OF THE KISS AND FDSJFS AHO REALIZES KISE DID N O T FORGET - and he’ quick to press Kise for an explanation but Kise is sure this is going to lead to heartbreak, that Aomine’s frantic (heart beating at 12432 beats a second) and desperate (to know becuz becuz if Kise- if Ryouta-) demands of Kise to tell him the truth are from a place of piss/fury. When Aomine realizes Kise is only shying away from his emotional cornering/words more and more, Aomine does the only thing he can think of and kisses Kise again and again and again.

Kise realizes he means it, Aomine is almost heartbroken over how Kise couldn’t understand he meant it; both are overwhelmingly overjoyed becuz c’mon. MUTUAL pining, not just pining :P and then THAT turns into cautious, hopeful, cautious prompts for dating.

47) Here’s a fic title - In the man behold a child

(Uni AU)Aomine pines after Kise’s ass and he constantly sends him is inviting him: “C’mon Kise, kiss me and I’ll shut up forever.” and “C’mon Kise, I’d be a great fuckbuddy. No string attached but sex. I’ll be gone immediately.”, lots of, “C’mon Kise. I’m fun. I’ll give you want you want, what you need.” and more earnest and genuine stuff, “I know I sound like I’m kidding, and maybe parts of me were…but I meant it when I said I love you. And I’ll wait until you finally hear I’m fully serious.”

Eventually, Kise comes to realize he is serious. The fact that Aomine really has matured as a person over time and that he really loves Kise.  Who also realizes maybe a little bit of the fact that he’d never needed a real relationship because Aomine sort of checked off all the boxes; and so, (poetically aha; i thought of this at last moment XD) child Kise is also revealed in man Kise for being oblivious and little bit scared (because that’s what teens/kids are good at Aha?)

Ofc, then Kise finally says yes, though hesitant still; Aomine takes him slowly through love and all the good stuff :P

48) What’s your favourite trope to write?

Angst with a Happy Ending, Mutual Pining/Obliviousness & Uncertainty, Friends to Lovers, Friends to Lovers to Enemies to Friends to Lovers, anything with a slight of it’s hard and if we’re not being told we’re gonna make it through, how can i be reassured now that we will; but you’ve got friends to rely on so it’ll be okay OTHERWISE KNOWN AS Angst with a Happy Ending :P

49) Can you remember the first fic you read? What was it about?

Something from Warrior Cats

50) If you could write only angst, fluff or smut for the rest of your writing life, which would it be and why?

(Both both is good)

YOU CAN’T MAKE ME CHOOSE.

But like, if angst with a happy ending counts as angst??? Than that :PFluff is good but you have to have a reason that makes it even sweeter :P

[alien-bodies]

Oversharing Time!!!

(i just made that title up that’s not the official title I’m just Like That)

Ok so @frogyell​ tagged my main account (I am BLEST) but that’s for Refined Star Trek Content and this one’s for excellent moodboard content and garbage so here’s the garbage!!! I’m putting it under a cut bc it manipulates your brain to want to read through 85 fuckin facts about me more wow I love science

rules: answer these 85 statements about yourself, then tag 20 people.

1. last drink: Water! off to a great start

2. last phone call: my local Hot Topic. I feel like I should also mention I work there. But if you don’t know that and steal my phone you’ll see I have a contact named Hot Topic

3. last text message: Google sent me a verification code, but the last one I sent was to my brother it says “k”

4. last song you listened to: It’s called The Horror Of Your Love by Ludo, if I had to delete all but one song on my 121-song Best Enemies playlist I’d keep this one it’s Peak and kinda has vore but it’s metaphorical. metavoreical, if you will

5. time you cried: during my latest EMDR sesh! I was in Wales and everything it was a Lot I got ice cream after

6. dated someone twice? Big No

7. kissed someone and regretted it? Not really?

8. been cheated on? my ex had 16 anime dating sims downloaded at one point while we were dating does that count

9. lost someone special? yea

10. been depressed? hella

11. gotten drunk and thrown up? I’ve been drunk 1 time and it was when I was playing English handbells at my dad’s church’s wassail night but I did not throw up no

fave colors

12. Black

13. Lavendar

14. Light blue

in the last year have you…

15. made new friends? Hell Yell!!

16. fallen out of love? k i n d a ? ?

17. laughed until you cried? oh absolutely

18. found out someone was talking about you? OH BOY YUP YUP

19. met someone who changed you? yes! she managed to physically alter my hippocampus without touching it how fuckign whack is that

20. found out who your friends are? It’s always the same miraculous group chat

21. kissed someone on your facebook friends list? sure have

general

22. how many of your facebook friends do you know irl? I keep it nice and refined so all of them. My old account is another story

23. do you have any pets? one beautiful and talented cat named Moriarty. A good description is she’s got puppy software on cat hardware.

24. do you want to change your name? listen I’ve been through 4.5 of these fuckers, I like Nate, I’m Quite Finished

25. what did you do for your last birthday? invited 2 pals over, I remember one of them suddenly whipped out I Am The Doctor and the Dr Who theme on the piano out of fuckin nowhere and I was like “Daniel what the hell you’re so talented” and then I hardcore dissociated the rest of the day

26. what time did you wake up today? 10:00

27. what were you doing at midnight last night? chatting w @houseofoakdown​ and also editing my monstrosity of a fanfiction

28. what is something you cant wait for? Going back to school! then I can graduate in my pajamas and eat creamed corn in celebration

30. what are you listening to right now? the same goddamn playlist, this one’s called Battle Cry by The Family Crest, i cri erytiem

31. have you ever talked to a person named tom? probably???

32. something thats getting on your nerves? my brother vaping in the bathroom with the fan on at 12:30am

33. most visited website: tungle dot hell

34. hair color: I started out blonde af now I’m less blonde but still blonde.

35. long or short hair: short

36. do you have a crush on someone: :[] yes

37. what do you like about yourself: i’m hella smart, my moodboards are bangin, my writing is cool af, I’m well-hydrated at all times

38. want any piercings? Big No

39. blood type: A+!!!!! thats me!!!!!

40. nicknames: my brother calls me a goon sometimes

41. relationship status: im married to my laptop

42. zodiac: I was born on the last day of Taurus so I’m a definite Taurus/Gemini power combo

43. pronouns: they/them, tho in some places I use he/him bc The Dysphoria got hog wild enough I decided to pretend to be a trans guy so ppl would take me seriously, but I’m moving more towards they/them everywhere now. 

44. fave tv shows: Dr Fuck, Sherlock (I’m armed with a pitchfork and an arsenal of beefed up tv & film knowledge come on fight me), DOWNTON ABBEY

45. tattoos: in August I will get a bee on my right arm and probably a Secret Word in Gallifreyan on my left it’ll say fuck

46. right or left handed: one time I was bored in grade 10 and tried to make myself ambidextrous but that was a hassle so I’m firmly right handed. Except in archery.

47. ever had surgery: got all 4 wisom teeth out not long ago! I still need to squirt water in my gum holes so I get all the mushy food out :{

48. piercings: I used to have my ears pierced but they’re grown tf over now!

49. sport: first of all what the hell is this question looking for second of all I have a red belt (which is 2 below black belt) in Taekwondo. I really need to do that again hhhhhh

50. vacation: i went to England and France in the summer with my family as a “””grad trip”””, it was lots of fun but my collection of sensory issues extended to chomping and I dissociated so intensely in The Louvre my mom told me to go back outside so I wrote fanfiction while listening to 21 Pilots and chatting w my imaginary friends and it took me like 18 hours to process I’d seen The Mona Lisa with mine own 2 eyes. Also the plane was delayed twice bc we used Air Canada for some godforsaken reason and I had 0 hours of sleep when I went to the Sherlock Holmes museum and I started talkin to this bust of Sherlock Holmes and then I hadn’t eaten enough and we were walking to this bookstore and I said “I need food!” and my dad said “We’ll get it AFTER” then I shouted “I’M GONNA DIE” so I got a BLT from Tesco. 

51. trainers: h

more general

52. eating: the last thing I ate was chocolate chips straight out of the bag

53. drinking: I got another cup of water

54. im about to watch: my entire fanfiction to take 3000 notes on consistency. and by watch I mean read

55. waiting for: my brother (not vaping) to get out of the bathroom so I can PEE

56. want: Orphan Black to be on Netflix so I can actually binge watch it then call my grandma about it

57. get married: idk I didn’t think I was a get married person but since realizing I’m a lesbian it seems like a good idea!

58. career: nurse and a writer. I might just move to London and work double time to write enough scripts I have some street cred then pitch a TV adaptation of Faction Paradox to the BBC and win

which is better

59. hugs or kisses: hugs bc it means my friends are in my vicinity not Toronto

60. lips or eyes: uh. eyes???????????

61. shorter or taller: i’m 5′3″ and I would love a tol partner

62. older or younger: i don’t think I care

63. nice arms or stomach: what fresh hell does this mean. I’d like a nice stomach free of gastrointestinal issues and acid reflux. not that I have either of those but just in case

64. hookup or relationship: I have 300 many self-esteem issues so imma say relationship

65. troublemaker or hesitant: AU where I don’t have anxiety and I’m a trouble maker

have you ever

66. kissed a stranger: noop

67. drank hard liquor: I PUT RUM IN THE WASSAIL HELL YEAH also once someone bought me a shot at a queer dance thing bc it was payday and my friend told me to gulp the WHOLE SHOT and then the lemonade so I don’t barf and I was like “brah this is too high-stakes” so I poured the vodka in the lemonade and took sips and everyone stared at me

68. lost glasses: in grade 6 and then my mom threatened to make me wear one of those granny glasses chains so I never lost them again

69. turned someone down: ya this kid Cyrus used to chase me around in grade 5 and I’d run away always he was weird af one time he made out with a folder right in front of me in the middle of class

70. sex on first date: probs not at this point but I’m not opposed to the general idea when I’m less w h a c k e d  u p

71. broken someones heart: Not that I know of?

72. had your heart broken: c o n s i s t e n t l y in the most fricked up ways god

73. been arrested: no but once I booed at the police bc the local nazis (yeah) were gonna have a rally so we had a counter-rally and I dropped in but there were no nazis except one old dude in a MAGA hat showed up 2 hours late lmao

74. cried when someone died: oui

75. fallen for a friend: Big Lesbian Mood

do you believe in

76. yourself: YA BB

77. miracles: not as such

78. love at first sight: nah

79. santa claus: I wasn’t allowed to believe in Santa as a child bc he was “too much like God” sad

80. kiss on a first date: ye!

81. angels: big no

other

82. best friend’s name: I don’t exactly have a proper best friend but I’m goin with Liam

83. eye colour: blue/grey

84. fave movie: either The Force Awakens (bc I love bb8 and I’m gay 4 Rey) or Interstellar shut up

85. fave actor: uh idk let’s go with my brother

WOW THAT WAS LONG JEE🅱️US. I’m tagging @houseofoakdown @spoonietimelordy @gemvictorfromtheponyverse @spockswhales @raesand and that exhausts the ppl I know but you’re all worth quadruple in my heart 💖

[jaebam]

could you answer all the gif maker questions too? i'm very interested 😅

omgshfs interested in my thoughts????? okay only bc its u 🥺🥺

2. What is your least favorite set you’ve made?

ohhhh i don’t really know 😔 since i post so much it’s difficult to remember what i’ve done gshjfhsfj

3. Which of your sets has the most notes 

on this blog it’s this one 🥺

5. What is your favorite movie/TV show to gif

i don’t really gif anything other than got7 at the moment but i used to gif a lot for tmi/shadowhunters!! 😌➰

6. What is your least favorite movie/TV show to gif

hmm i used to dislike giffing the tv show reign bc the lightning was wack from my memory fhsgjh and most scenes were usually just the same yellow background thing and i couldn’t really figure out how to make all those color spam sets i used to make from their eps

10. What was the first gif you ever posted

oh i recently went back and checked and it’s this one from 2011😳

12. What is the most embarrassing thing you’ve ever giffed

man idk gfshhj i’ve giffed a lot of embarrassing things 

13. Where or from whom did you learn to gif

i learnt from reading and following a lot of tutorials posted here!! and then i regularly checked resources blogs like yeahps to see what the trend was hgsfhhsj

17. 10 sets, 8 sets, 6 sets= How many gifs do you prefer in a set

i used to mostly make 8 sets when it came to giffing before this blog, but now i really like 4 sets (which i raaarely made before this blog)

18. For the aesthetic, for the laughs, or for the feels what your preference

when it comes to gifmaking it takes a lot of time to figure it out aesthetic wise for me, so it’s mostly just for the laughs atm!! but for my main i used to only do it for the aesthetics hehe <3 (b/w sets forever in my 🤍)

21. PSDs or original coloring for each gif 

i do have a base psd that i mess around with for all gifs and i could probably do it from memory but we’re lazy!! however since i color correct with curves layers they always turn out different anyway

22. What fandom/movie/show/person etc do you gif the most

got7 💚

23. What is the thing you gif when you don’t have anything else you want to gif

ooooohhhh i don’t really know, like older got7 performances maybe 🤔?

24. 480p 720p 1080p? What is the minimum quality you’ll gif from

ahh well i used to not care abt the quality and just giffed whatever but if i had to choose now i’d say 720p perhaps? 

25. Old dimensions or new dimensions and why

omg i used to be one of the petty ppl that wouldn’t change to the new dimensions for MONTHS but i like the new ones even tho they don’t make sense jdhhjfh and i don’t really know why, maybe bc i think it looks better ?? not sure hgfhs i just do 🥴

26. How many unposted sets are in your drafts right now

hmm like 20 maybe? most are unfinished and some are just finished sets that i haven’t figured out how to caption HGSHFGS

27. Have you ever made a set, decided you hated it and deleted it? What was it

i don’t really delete any but i do dislike a lot of them i just never go back and check so in my mind it’s like i never made them in the first place ✊

28. Have you ever posted a set, regretted it and immediately deleted it

no i don’t think so!!

29. Have you ever posted a set, realized you made a mistake later but it was already too late

omg yes all the time!!!! but i go back anyways and edit the post even tho it’s too late to keep my mind at ease 💆‍♀️

30. How frequently do you like to post

i gif A LOT nowadays hfsghd and i don’t really have a preference i just gif whenever i can bc it’s fun

31. Do you schedule/queue posts or do you post right after you’re done

i do both! 

33. Do you like to/can you make edits and graphics too or only gifs

yes!!!! i think i enjoy making graphics/edits more bc it shows my aesthetic more than gifs do but i do like making gifs too hehe it’s just a bit repetitive sometimes so i like making graphics to try to be a bit more creative 😋

36. Do you gif with something specific in mind or do you just wing it

i usually have something specific in mind 👩‍💻

37. What sets if any do you have planned to make in the future

omg i have a a folder of things i wanna gif so there’s actually a lot i have in mind but i probably won’t get to it for a while hsghfj i do plan on making another how got6 treat baby bam and for yugyeom and youngjae too tho!! one day 🤞

38. What are you really excited to gif that isn’t out yet

oh mannn i don’t really know 😩

39. How often, if ever, do you delete old sets that you don’t like anymore

i don’t think i’ve ever deleted a set 😟 it’s mostly bc i want to have the opportunity to go back and see how much of a change i’ve made 

40. Why do you make gifs

bc i think it’s fun!! i enjoy the coloring process 😌 and to annoy the got7 tag gsjjhsfjgh

41. What is your least favorite part about your gif making process

hmm i don’t really dislike any of the steps.... maybe making the layers ? i don’t really know ghfshjs i’m used to giffing and the process so nothing really bothers me

42. How is your gif folder organized? Is it organized at all?

ppl have gif folders 😧😧????!?!?!??!!!!!???!??!

43. Do you keep videos forever or delete them once you’re done giffing

it depends honestly... i mostly delete videos after a long while or transfer them to a usb bc my laptop memory is really bad 💔

44. Ever had a gif become a meme? Would you like that if you haven’t

uhm i don’t think it has? and i haven’t really thought about it but i don’t think i’d mind

45. Ever gotten hate over a set

fortunately not yet!! ❤️

46. Ever gotten a really sweet compliment over a set

sometimes u guys compliment my work in the tags and it makes my heart soar and turn mushy every time 🥺🥺

48. How would you describe your giffing style

hmmm colorful? very vibrant?? 🌈✨

49. How much would you say you’ve improved since you first giffing

omg SO MUCH!!! like a whole lot hgsjfh

[whyareyouyellingatme]

A post I deleted in the end

Here's one of the most personal/long things I've ever posted, and if you hate me you'll probably have a field day laughing at this one. I don't know how long it'll take before I maybe...delete it. I don't want anyone to respond with likes or comments. If you have something to say you can pm me, but I don't enjoy talking about it outside of one ong rant. I rant like this so I can jot it all down for records / evidence I'm not irrational, and then move on.

Here's the TL;DR: Rick Ranquist - 40+ years old, lives in Utah possibly Michael Aigner - mid 20's, probably lives in Bellingham by the pool Cooper Texeira - My age, lives in Seattle and goes to my school

All these men are white sexual offenders that did not get a punishment for their crimes.

When I was seven my 20+ year old babysitter did stuff with me that I did not understand, and I don't properly remember a lot of it. I thought it was a game, but it was actually doing sexual favors for a pedophile. I read a line in "The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe" about a man trying so hard to forget something unpleasant that he eventually succeeds in forgetting it. I tried to do that with the memory, and it sort of worked until I heard his name, Ricky. My brother said, "Remember when Ricky----" and that's all I heard before I started dissociating and everything was like someone was smothering me with a pillow.

His sister called me a liar when I said "your brother does weird stuff with me and plays games I don't understand". I decided if she didn't believe me, nobody would, because she was my neighbor and my friend. She still doesn't know today I was telling the truth.

I got raped when I was 19 by a 23 year old that had been grooming me since I was 16. I tried reporting it to the police and they laughed at me, nearly hanging up on me. I went to the ER, got a cervical exam while a doctor ogled my vagina with awe (because my relatively young genitals excited him, how professional). The taxi driver saw me crying and said "you put him on a list! Get him on a list!" and nope, he didn't get put on any kind of list. That fucked me up for a long time. I was numb for a long time. I just watched non stop television and didn't think. I can remember the exact outfit I put in a brown paper evidence bag, and I can remember the exact outfit I wore for days afterwards. I really changed as a person after that. Being isolated from all your friends and spending 3 years dedicating all your time to a shitty abusive man that made you think everything was your fault. Not fun.

Weirdly enough, a man who's in my family pushed me not to report the rape or try pushing for anything else from the police, because he thought it would traumatize me further. I gave up. I didn't want to see Michael, he made me sick. I was partially relieved I got out of the cycle of abuse, but I held on to a rage for a while . I still feel it if I think too much about it. I get really angry but it helps nothing because what can I do ? I'd imagine scenarios where I got to kill him as revenge.

It looked really cute on the surface! It looked like I was having a good time. But I was having panic attacks every week trying to make him happy, despite the beatings, despite the yelling (bc that's normal in my household so I thought it was normal in relationships) until the day that he went way too far.

I really thought it was my fault and that I deserved it for being stupid or not good enough. I was too focused on a very heavy school schedule and an eating disorder/self harm problem to realize I could do better for myself. Of course all of his friends saw me as a "crazy bitch" as he was beating me, real nice. His family was really racist and he broadcasted all of our arguments to them. His sister threatened to hit me with a wrench, not knowing/caring that her brother was already beating me. All of them just kind of watched whenever I broke down crying in front of them. His dad said "women get like this", I'm not...a woman. Not for someone like you dude.

Michael showed up at my house a couple days after it happened too. He stalked me for a while. I still get freaked out being alone sometimes. I have a knife collection and pepper spray, and even guns, but none of them make me feel as safe as a genuine friend does. I'm easily startled and for a while I had really horrible nightmares and panic attacks in public. It got a little better with time, but I still have really bad days. It's still difficult going anywhere near medical centers or dealing with cervical exams.

(I tried speaking with a nurse about the possibility that I have PTSD from that event, and she brushed me off with a "Women used to get raped all the time and they would have to just deal with it. You should lose some weight." Which started up my eating disorder again...horribly enough, people have been so cruel to me but I still care so much what they think.)

I tried faking confidence and happiness in college. I don't have a supportive healthy family, I just have me and whoever decides to be my friend. I made a friend group and went to parties with them. That was fun until a person I trusted grabbed at me when I was incredibly drunk. He led me to his room where I passed out. I wasn't sober enough to understand what was going on or even walk properly, and he texted people things from my phone saying that I was okay. It was all just kind of stupid honestly.

I woke up the next day in my room, on the floor, feeling kind of gross and even more gross as I try to figure out what happened the night before. He shows up at my work wanting me to serve him ice cream. I go in to report him because he did end up grabbing me without consent.

I lost my friend group. And after describing him grabbing my chest and ass in a disgusting amount of detail to a man that said "I remember being a young man and partying in college" with a cheerful nostalgia, I lost the case too. He didn't get anything. At this point I was kind of used to being treated like a piece of meat, so I was just mad he didn't learn anything. In fact, he has been checking up on me online to find dirt on me and report ME to the school for talking shit. His girlfriend has been doing the same, angry because she thinks he was trying to cheat with me. Cheating is consensual.

People just don't learn sometimes. I'm not a thing. I'm an nb lesbian though, and the guy that tried stuff with me when I was drunk knew that. He thought he could convert me.

I've been going through all of this without therapy, trying to just go to school. I tried telling a counselor about my situation and he said "those are long term problems that the university cannot handle".

Maybe I seem quiet and aloof, maybe I'm annoying to you, maybe you think I'm a liar or something stupid like that. But god damn it, I am a human being. I've been through some gross shit. I'm tired of people touching me and trying to invade my space. I'm tired of creepy ass college professors comparing me to their girlfriends and saying shit like "things aren't going so well with her". It's never a compliment you're just fuckin weird dude.

I'm super disconnected from reality even now (sometimes) because I don't like thinking about any of this. I stayed silent about it for quite a while because of all the people who probably wouldn't believe me. But uhhhh fuck you guys I know who I am.

This is a really personal story, especially very personal to be posting on facebook. It makes me feel super vulnerable, but not as much as having the memories bouncing around in my head nonstop makes me feel. I have a girlfriend now and I'm living in a pretty safe place at the moment. There's a lot of other shit happening in my life, my PTSD dog (one of my only sources of comfort in a bad time) got hit by a car and died. :( You all probs know about that, I just miss her when I think about the past. So I've just been trying to figure out how to help myself, you know?

This post got really fucking long and I don't feel like editing it. If you ever think I'm quiet, it's because I'm tired of explaining myself. I want to be my usual joke-y self but sometimes that feel really fake. I don't like thinking about all of this, but I think someone should know.

I wanted to write this post when I was sure I could finish it without crying. It has been a while since something super bad has happened to me, and that distance between the event and reality really helps muffle the emotional response.

Cheers to the survivors that aren't "good" survivors that react a specific way. Cheers to those of you that aren't comfortable sharing your story because it's really not anybody's business unless you want to say something.

I don't know, I still try and have fun, pretending nothing happened. I hate this crap. I hate the emotional baggage. Wish I could chuck it, but my brain has a different plan.

Like, all of this shit happened on TOP of me living in an extremely abusive home so you can imagine I tried to kill myself.

I'm a human being. Stop treating me like shit. I'm tired of it. I'm also not as mean as I look, I don't bite. I'm here for you as a friend if you need it. I just couldn't sleep tonight because of all this crap.

Please don't react to this I'm just babbling. I don't want to deal with people that have no empathy for my long ass story just because it's long / badly written. I'm just tired. I'm soooooo fucking tired.

Edit: I'm trying to reread this just once, but I can't even do it. Like not because it's hard, I literally just look at the words and they mean nothing. My brain basically put up a firewall against upsetting shit so I lose touch with reality whenever I get near it for too long. It's hard describing dissociation but if you would like to know more u should google it. A weird time. Anyway gn I'm alright I just needed to fucking let it out.

[thestoryweneededtowrite]

(( you should write more of that ghost hunting au if u ever have time bc it's like my fave au series tbh ))

Race and Spot do a liveshow. When will they ever learn.

Part of this series

Race scanned through the comments in the column at the sideof the screen, trying to catch one he could answer in the flurry. This was oneof the reasons they didn’t do liveshows too often – it was great to connectwith their audience but there were an awful lot of them to connect with atonce. Meet and greets were far easier, but not everyone could get to them sothey had to settle for this every now and then.

“‘Where’s Spot?’”Race read out, catching a comment before it disappeared. “Spot is making tea inthe kitchen, stalling, because he hates liveshows,” he laughed.

“Spot can hear you!” came a yell from the next room.

Race just grinned and flipped his boyfriend off through thewall, not that he could see. He was lying on their lounge floor, his chestpropped up on a pillow so he was higher up in the camera’s frame. It probablydidn’t look particularly comfortable but the rug was fluffy and it was a goodangle with decent lighting. There were worse places to sit still for half anhour – the promised duration of the livestream.

The comments all turned to a combination of ‘Hi Spot!’ and ‘??? Why does he hatethem?’ and since Spot had to finish making the tea sooner rather than laterso he could come say hi to people himself, Race chose to answer the secondquestion.

“He hates them because they’re not edited,” he explained,not sure how detailed Spot would want him to get. That was at least the crux ofit, but he knew it would only lead to more questions.

“Are you really going to tell them that?” came anothershout.

“Am I not allowed?” Race winced. It wasn’t a subject hisboyfriend liked to talk about.

There was a beat of silence, then a disgruntled sigh.

“…No, I guess you can,” Spot allowed.

Race turned back to the laptop. There was an argument to bemade that liveshows shouldn’t be scary for Spot, since they weren’t permanentlike their videos. Anything he’d rather not be seen, a slip of the tongue or animpromptu kiss, would be gone as quickly as it happened. Except they knew for afact that some of their fans recorded the entire show to gif parts of it later.And those gifs would be of exactly the things Spot didn’t want to share.

“Spot is a private person and he’s not keen on broadcastingour entire relationship to the internet, which is something I respect,” Racestarted, shifting to get more comfortable. “We get a lot of messages sayingthat I care more about him than he does for me, which is bullshit by the way,”he added a glare for good measure.

Spot cared about him so much, the internet just didn’t getto see the way he stroked Race’s hair when he didn’t feel well; the way he hadsat at Race’s bedside when he’d been in hospital until he’d been practicallyforcibly removed from the room; the way he reached for him in his sleep. It wasall private, but that didn’t mean it didn’t happen.

“But all you’re seeing is what we edit,” Race continued. “Whenhe kisses me and holds my hand, I edit it out because he doesn’t want you tosee it and I don’t want him to be uncomfortable. And it isn’t because he’sashamed or because we’re hiding things from you or because he doesn’t love me.It’s just because, in the nicest way possible, we don’t owe you our personalmoments. But that doesn’t mean we don’t have them and Spot is worried ourliveshow will become way too much like our unedited footage which is…” Hewasn’t sure how to explain it without using the word ‘intimate’, which justmade it sound like they were filming porn on the side. A comment flashed up andRace couldn’t help but laugh and nod. “Yes, it’s exactly like the Oops Video. Which better not be doing the roundsagain, so help me god.”

The Oops Video was what the video of Spot’s uneditedvoiceover had become known as, thanks to Spot’s tweet afterwards that had onlyread ‘oops’, with a link to thetumblr post they’d written explaining everything. Race had deleted the videopretty quickly, but a few people had downloaded copies and they popped up everynow and then, despite their requests for circulation of it to stop. Still, evenif people hadn’t seen it they all knew what it was referencing.

Another comment cause Race’s eye: So Spot doesn’t like liveshows because he’s worried he won’t be able tonot kiss you?

“Yeah, that’s it,” he snorted. “I’m irresistible and hewon’t be able to keep his hands off me.”

Spot had been hovering just outside the doorway, listening toRace’s little monologue. He didn’t want to walk in mid-speech and, besides, ithad been nice to hear Race talk so freely about supporting his need to keep publicaffection minimal. But he couldn’t loiter forever and when the opportunity fora dramatic entrance presented itself, he took it.

“In your dreams,” he laughed, sitting down beside Race andhanding him a cup of tea. “Miss me?”

He was thankful when Race held back the kiss he’d usuallyhave been given as a thank you. Instead his boyfriend just rolled his eyes and pokedhim in the shoulder.“Yes, the astronomical distance between the lounge and the kitchen was too muchto bear. Never leave me again,” Race said, completely deadpan and insincere.Slipping out of the monotone with a grin, he elbowed Spot playfully andgestured to the screen. “Talk to the people.”

“Hello, people,” Spot said, waving lamely before regrettinghow stupid it looked. Looking at the number people watching, he did a doubletake. “Shit, there’s a lot of you.” Searching for some interesting comments toanswer that weren’t just ‘Hi!!!!’ or‘awww you make Race tea, that’s so cute’,Spot took a sip from his own cup. He groaned when a particularly insistent one,lots of exclamation marks and capitalisation, caught his eye. “No, I will notkiss my boyfriend for your amusement, Gracie003, because I’m not a whore.”

Race spluttered, just about managing not to spit teaeverywhere. Even after what he’d just told them all, they were still going toask things like that? It was a constant surprise to him that some of these peoplecalled themselves their fans.

“Guys, stop,” he whined. He just wanted people to treat hisboyfriend with respect, was that so much to ask.

Calling attention to the first comment had been a mistake.Now that was all that was in the chat feed and Spot just sighed. He should haveknown better.

“Jesus Christ, is that all you lot are going to talk about?You’re just going to gif it and put it on tumblr,” he complained. But he lookedover at Race and met his eyes. There was so much concern in them that it feltnatural to reach out and pull him into a brief, sweet kiss. Race kissed back happily,just for a moment, before gently pushing Spot away.

Spot was right, it would be all over tumblr within half anhour, but there was never any malice behind the posts. People loved them as acouple and supported them. It would make him uncomfortable when he saw it beingused as part of a ‘imagine Spot kissing you like this in front of your friends’post, but on the whole he wouldn’t regret it.

“Never again,” he said, staring straight into the cameramainly so he could avoid looking at the comments.“Never?” Race teased, well aware that they were probably going to end up makingout after the livestream was finished. It was what they did after they’d beenfilming a video or doing a liveshow or a meet and greet. Spot didn’t likepublic affection but they were both very fond of private affection and after anextended length of time not touching they always had something to make up for.

“Shut up, you,” Spot said, jostling Race with his arm andnearly spilling his tea.

When they settled back in to pay attention to more of thecomments, Spot let his fingers find Race’s, tucking their hands together justout of sight of the webcam. Whether the internet believed it or not, he wascompletely in love with the short, cocky boy at his side and he’d never have itany other way.