#i wish i had learned to roller blade better

[argylemnwrites]

1, 4, 15, 17 for fanfic asks! xoxo

Thank you so much for the ask!

1. favorite fic you wrote this year

Because this year has both dragged on forever and passed in the blink of an eye, I actually had to scan through my archive to remember what I wrote this year, haha! I had a few pieces I was deciding between, but I think Facts, Fibs, and Futures, a Mal x MC fic, is probably my favorite... at least for the moment.

4. total number of words you wrote this year

Only including published stuff because some of my WIPs are more than 12 months old. I'm gonna have to do some math here:

Fight or Flight - 40,046 words

Why Are We Still Waiting? - 38,093 words

Three ICWAM universe one shots - 7,570 words

Four OH one shots - 7,464 words

Three (connected) ROD one shots - 5,606 words

One Blades one shot - 3,337 words

One canon TRR one shot - 2,566 words

One TF series one shot - 2,320 words

One MOTY one shot - 2,240 words

That's a total of 109,242 words, which is less than I would have liked, but not bad considering boards, work stresses, etc.

17. fics you’ll continue next year

Fight or Flight, Why Are We Still Waiting?, some ICWAM one shots I have in the works, and my first OH series with a working title of Sessions

15. something you learned this year

Alright, I'm gonna probably get wordy here, so this is as good a spot as any for a read more cut (hence the order flip of the questions)

I think I've learned how to detach in healthier ways. You know that I felt lost in this fandom for a very long time, and it's not that now I feel this complete sense of belonging or anything. Basically very little has changed on that front. But the emotional waves are a lot less dramatic, and I overall feel calmer. I can more objectively and consistently see the positives and negatives of my type of existence here, instead of being swept along on an emotional roller coaster. Painful moments that would have sent me spiraling in the past I am able to acknowledge and move past.

I wish I had a better ability to articulate the why and how of this change, but then again, I don't know if I am the type who would ever be comfortable going into details about any emotional revelations, hahaha. But it has been something I definitely learned how to work through and process better. And I've continued to take steps forward, in that a few times I thought I had found my most stable "at peace" feeling about my role/place here, I found a new perspective or outlook that left me even calmer. It's reassuring, that continued progress, because it helps me weather negative emotions even better, knowing that I will likely be able to look back on those moments from an even more at peace place.

I know that was a lot of words to say not very much, but I hope you (and anyone curious enough to click to keep reading) knows enough of me to understand the vibes I'm trying to convey here.

[monsterfuneral]

1970 / The New Beginning

Headcanon Series: Paul’s Life Through The Decades

Warnings: Paul is actually happy, so much happiness, actually kinda sad but bc it’s so happy?, disco Paul, then we see Paul’s final form

Words: 1.1k

Author’s Note: Well that’s all folks, this is the FINAL part! This was all so much fun to write and post, I fucking love Paul and I hope you guys enjoyed this series as much as I did. 

It’s very hard to say if I’ll ever do this for any of the other boys, but if it happens I hope you guys will be along for that ride too. 

Questions regarding any of these headcanon posts are greatly welcomed! If you have your own headcanons or questions regarding mine, I would love to hear them! 

Series Masterlist

---

- With the 70s having a bit of a rocky start for Paul he tried to not let it keep him down for long. It was a new decade which meant a fresh start (again), he was willing to finally start his life the way he wanted. So when the disco craze started he latched onto it like a cat on a tree, he went to a nearby club just on the outskirts of Santa Carla and decided to scope the place out for a few nights before he actually joined in on anything. Once he stepped foot on the dance floor though he could understand why people liked disco so much. He silently thanked Daisy for getting him out of his dancing shell, before joining the other dancing people under the sparkling disco ball. 

- Throughout his life he had normally kept the company at a minimum, even when he had met Marko and Daisy it was just the three of them and sometimes Dwayne and David. So the change of venue with crowds of people dancing around him under the shimmering lights, dressed in grungy pastels and gogo boots was the push Paul needed when it came to his comfort zone. On the dancefloor is where he felt the most alive, the music would flow through his body and possess him, control him in the best way possible. 

- He made human acquaintances that would join him on the floor with gleaming eyes and dazzling smiles, it was the best Paul had felt in years and he didn’t want to give it up. The happiness he felt swell in his heart the second he stepped foot into the club was unmatchable, not even a good meal could make him feel this good. He shed his denim jacket and smoothing down the pastel floral button up he had tucked into his white bell bottoms, then checking over his pink gogo boots before smiling to himself and making his way straight to the dancefloor, his second home. 

- None of the boys ever really joined him, not that he minded. After Marko’s attempt he determined that it wasn’t his scene, Paul respected that. Plus it gave him more time to himself, more time to be consumed by the music without having to make sure his friends were having fun too.

- Eventually he started doing skate disco which is when he really started to feel in the zone, the music genuinely carrying him across the floor as he danced now. His hair was always flying behind him, a shoulder length mess waving in the wind created by his dancing, arms spread out like wings and a wide smile on his face before singing along to the ABBA song that played overhead. It was like he was flying without actually flying. The weed he had smoked clouding his brain in the most perfect way as he felt like he was being carried. 

- He truly was a sight on the dance floor. But as the years went by in the 70s the more disco died off much to Paul’s dismay. He knew that it was going to happen eventually, just not so soon. 

- His relationship with the boys had also gone perfectly smooth. With his mended friendship with David, and Marko practically glued to his side, Dwayne always being a shoulder to lean on when things got particularly hard. It was a genuine family now. All of the hardships Paul had gone through had now seemed worth it, becoming a vampire had all seemed worth it now that he was in the 70s, an era he could and would fully be himself without a care in the world. 

- Even though David wouldn’t admit it he was proud of Paul, having witnessed all the ugly downs and now the beautiful ups. It warmed his heart. 

- This was also the era where Paul realized he was very much not straight, but let’s be honest he probably already knew, after the not so subtle ‘friendly’ kisses he gave Marko while high in the 60s they all kinda already suspected. 

- But after a night with another disco goer Matthew, it was fully cleared up that Paul was most definitely bisexual, something he knew he would have been killed for back in the 40s, hell something he would still be killed for if he was human. That didn’t get him down though, he was loud and proud and he wasn’t letting some shitty homophobe get him down, no way no how. It’s not like he didn’t already know homophobes made great meals anyway, but after learning this about himself only made the meal all the more satisfying.

- By 1977 Paul had finally switched out his bell bottoms and yellow roller skates for a much more cut-edge look. His hair had finally hit his shoulder blades and his closet had gained a much darker tone. 

- Of course he kept his roller skates though, he liked taking them out every now and again just for fun. He had an entire chest of his clothes and memories from the 70s (and the 60s but he doesn’t like looking at them, those memories put a bad taste in his mouth). This was also the year he finally got his motorcycle, one of his biggest achievements in his eyes. 

- His whole life had finally come together. He was so much more than just a scared little boy from Maine, he was now an energetic loudmouth with a teasing nature that always craved a little fun. He had people who loved him, who supported him, instead of forcing him to suppress who he was in order to make everyone else happy. He had a life, music, and love. Paul had finally gotten everything he could have ever asked for. He was no longer scared of the world around him, of the people, and most importantly he wasn’t scared of himself. He embraced who and what he was in every way, he loved who he was. 

- In a way he wished time travel existed, a way for him to go back in time and reassure his younger self that things would get better, he would finally be happy. While it may have taken years upon years to finally achieve said happiness, it was all worth it. 

- Paul would continue to be the wild child and partner in crime to Marko well into the 80s. He only grew and grew more into his personality, his happiness heightening by the day and the love for his friends getting deeper as well. He wouldn’t trade this life for anything in the world. 

[retvenkos]

“we’re inseparable”

OKAY, BUT MODERN! AU WHERE NEWT AND SONYA ARE A HAPPY FAMILY AND YOU ARE THEIR FRIENDS BUT MIGHT HAVE A BIT OF A CRUSH ON NEWT...

you met them at the park when you were like, 7 or 8

sonya wanted to learn how to roller blade and newt was that older brother who wants to help but also sees his friends and wants to leave so he’s cautiously neglectful

and so she’s on her own for the most part

when she gets going, she sees you right in her path but she can’t seem to stop or swerve, so she hits you head on

it’s safe to say that you finish teaching her

and when they go home and their mother asks if sonya figured it out, newt takes all the credit and she punches him on the arm.

and sonya meets you at the park to play and hang out

and, most of the time, newt has his own friends to chill with 

he’s only like, 2 years older but thinks it’s a valid distinction

and the older you and sonya got, the more newt would hang out with you guys

they had similar interests eventually

but they were still  v a s t l y  different

sonya was the louder one with way too much energy

she was on a volley ball team but wasn’t very competitive

she mostly did it for the fun of it

she also had way too many friends - so many it was hard to keep track of them

you used to joke that she collected people

and it was funny until you realized you were just another item in her collection

you got steadily closer to newt, needless to say

but she was still very sweet, even if she didn’t have as strong of a bond as you would have liked

she was a social butterfly that flitted from place to place

newt, on the other hand, was more thoughtful and quiet, much he had an even bigger heart

i’ve said this before, but newt is in the performing arts

he plays the guitar and the piano and he’s just so good at it

he occasionally does a play, but he doesn’t like the super big roles

he has less friends, but they are more of a family than anything else

you used to hang out with sonya more when you were younger, but you slowly got closer to newt

the two of you had always been friends, and he had more time to be there

he was more of a listener but when he did speak, it was kind and witty and  c h a r m i n g

sonya was definitely the person to point out that you liked her brother

and you were a stuttering mess because,,, pardon???

“oh, c’mon, (y/n). you are always spending time with him and you have the worst case of heart eyes i’ve ever seen.”

“i do not!”

but you totally did

and all sonya does is fix you with a look and you sigh in defeat

“newt would be an idiot not to like you back.”

“...why’s that?”

“because you’re the best thing for him.”

and you highly doubted that

but sonya is a good sister

sure, she may be out more than she was in, but she was loyal to her family

and she saw how he laughed more when he was with you

how you got him to do things that were definitely out of his comfort zone

how you balanced his self-sacrificial protector side with how giving you were

you would never take advantage of him, and that was important for newt, seeing how ready he is to give his all for those he cares about

and before sonya really mentioned it, you had never thought of your feelings for newt in that regard before

you had just always thought of newt as your closest and most dear friend

but the more you thought about it, the more it dawned on you

damn it all to hell

the next time you see newt, it’s  w e i r d

you are hanging out at their house because sonya invited you over

you still hung out, just not as much

and he walks in and you have no idea what to say or what to do

sonya laughs at you so hard

and when he leaves, you turn on her

“sonya! you made it weird!”

“i’m pretty sure you did that.”

“you made that stupid joke, and now i can’t get it out of my head.”

“it wasn’t a joke, (y/n).”

“THAT MAKES IT WORSE!”

and so you know you’re going to have to confront him at some point

but he texts you later that day

and you weren’t expecting to have to deal with it this soon

you try to play it off like it was nothing

but he knows you better than that

‘sonya was just being dumb the other day and got in my head’

and you cringed as you sent it, but you couldn’t get out of this conversation!

and, of course, he asks you what she did

and you tell him, and try to play it off as a joke, ha ha

god, this was the worst

part of you wished you were having this conversation in real time, but at this point it’s midnight and at least you have time to craft a response before sending it

not that it makes you any better spoken

and he doesn’t answer back for what feels like an eternity

it reality its been like, 2 minutes, and it’s largely because he is having a whisper-shouting match with sonya

he swears that she did this just to make him confess his feelings when he wanted to do it on his own terms

and she swears that he’s liked you for years now and if he doesn’t say it now, he never will

and then you get the notification™

‘well, she’s not wrong’

and you are scream into your pillow

you definitely can’t sleep after that

but he stopped messaging you, so you’re just going to have to face him in the morning

AND FLUFF ENSUES.

[princepestilence]

2020′s “worth it” things.

I think it’s pretty safe to say that 2020 was a uniquely bad year for everyone. There’s a lot of things that made this year even harder, though, not least of all the fact it was coming off the back of 2019, which was a deeply difficult year for me in many ways. I went into 2020 with high hopes for getting back on track with my life after being sick for so long, and things... did not go as anticipated. 

All this said, as I started compiling this list, I realised that despite everything else this year had going on, an incredible amount of really good, life-changing things happened for me too, and I want to celebrate that, so here it is: 2020 was Surprisingly Good, and Here’s Why. 

In no particular order:

health! I had surgery earlier this year and it fixed basically everything: the pain and nausea I was living with every day is gone now, and I feel so, so much better. I’ve been able to start getting back into a more normal kind of life throughout this year and hopefully, this won’t ever be a problem again. I’ll be able to live pretty normally going forward (apart from check-up tests now and then). I can’t ever take up kickboxing again, which is kind of disappointing, but in the scheme of things, that’s okay. This is a load-bearing change and because of it, so much else has been/will be possible for me, and I am so glad. 

holiday in Melbourne! Clair and I went on our first proper holiday together, before the plague. It was so much fun and it’s hard to believe that happened this year: the past is really feeling like a different country right now. But hopefully we’ll be able to do something like this again before too long, because I absolutely loved it. We saw a gallery, the aquarium, went to the theatre and night markets, swam in a pool by ourselves some fourteen stories above the city with a thunderstorm swirling outside the glass walls, and I’d love to do it all again. 

editing work. The project I’ve been working on has been finished and sent off for publishing, and I’ve been given a new contract and a new project, which is very nice. It feels great to be building up my resume--and it’s a huge compliment to be rehired so many times over. I’ve also been doing some editing work on the side, for various ttrpgs, etc. and I’m keen to do more of that too.

summer session teaching. I taught a summer session at the beginning of this year (back when the fires were happening), and now I’m teaching a different summer session again now. I really didn’t think I would ever teach again, after the collapse of academia this year, so it’s been delightful to have this chance. I’m hoping next year I’ll be able to do more, somehow. 

written over 70k+ words. I didn’t expect to be able to write nearly as much as I have this year, but I’m thrilled. It’s so nice to do and I’m looking forward to doing more of the same next year as well. 

got an apartment!! Finally! It only took about two deeply exhausting, stressful months where neither of us could support hobbies or mental health or general well-being because we were too busy trying to keep afloat while trying to find somewhere to live. But the important thing is that it’s done now. We get the keys in four days. I can’t wait. 

reconnected with a great friend. Last year I really struggled to maintain a lot of friendships. Being sick took most of my energy and attention, and sapped a lot of the cheerfulness and enthusiasm I wanted to have in relationships. This year, I’ve done a lot better, and I’ve been able to reconnect with a friend I’ve missed in a really positive, excellent way that brings me joy daily. 

joined a writing group! Connected to above, I’m now part of a regular weekly writing group of cool, talented people, and I’m hyped. It’s so fun and it feels so healthy to have this regular contact and conversation. It’s very much what I was missing and looking for, and I hope post-plague I’ll be able to find something similar in person too, so that I can have a local and international writing circle to bounce ideas and workshop with.   

ran a Dread game! It went so well and I had a ton of fun. I overprepared by a lot, but it was a terrific learning experience, and I’m itching to do it again soon. I’ve also got my hands on Monster of the Week (and am apparently getting Blades in the Dark as a late Christmas present from my little brother), and I’m very keen to get more into GMing, because I think this is where my passion lies. 

played D&D! And I’m loving it. I got hugely pulled into Dimension 20 this year and also finally played at the table properly for a campaign. I’m still very baby but it’s something I can definitely see myself getting into, and I hope we’re able to resume weekly games in the new year. I was very nervous before starting, but I’m getting my confidence more and more as we play. 

didn’t reconnect with some people from the past. At the beginning of 2019, I ended things with some friends I used to have, and it was hard to get to that year anniversary. Throughout the year there were some major temptations to reach out again, but I didn’t and I’m proud of that. They weren’t good relationships to be in, and I’m in a healthier, happier place without them. 

saw Six the Musical! And it was so great. I really wish I could have seen it again before the plague struck. I’m hoping it’ll come around again in the next few years, because once really wasn’t enough. 

I got a triple helix piercing! I’ve wanted this for years but this year I actually went and got it. I really love it. I’ve still got the plain titanium posts in while it heals 100% but I’m going to get hoops and fun ones soon and start switching them in and out for the thrill of it. 

backed some super exciting stuff on kickstarter! Kind of a weird entry but I’m so excited for it. There’s a gorgeous tarot deck coming from an artist whose work I’ve been following since I started on tumblr, and then Wanderhome is coming out about midway next year and I am very hyped to try it. We’re going to live that Beatrix Potter fantasy. 

saw my family. Earlier in the year I caught up with some cousins I haven’t seen since we were like twelve, and then for Christmas I saw the other side of my family, who I haven’t seen since Christmas 2018. It was really nice and I’m hoping we can keep in contact more, especially because my nieces and nephews are growing up so fast now. 

great year for games. Not really anything to do with me, but something I’m very grateful for. I’ve had such a good time with the titles that have come out this year: Hades, Monster Camp, Spiritfarer, Animal Crossing, Pokemon Sword, Megaquarium DLC, etc. Truly kept me sane (enough) at certain points. My switch also got fixed and returned to me recently, which is also very cool and good. 

started the program. Probably the single biggest, most impactful change this year, apart from surgery. It takes up a lot of my time and brainspace and energy, but it’s a lot better than the alternative, which did the same but in an evil way. I’ll be returning to it officially in exactly two weeks, and mostly how I feel about that is optimistic and happy. I’m excited to be well, which is an interesting feeling and mindset. I want to be doing better and I’m proud of myself for everything I’ve done this year to work towards that, because at no point so far has any of it been easy or fun. 

roller skating! I went roller skating (with Clair) for the first time in about ten years, and I didn’t stack it even once. There were a few close calls but it was a great time and I’m keen to go back and get good at it again. I’ve missed it all these years, and I think it’s going to be a super fun date night going forward. 

[stephaniesramblings]

My relationship with sports/athletics has always been an interesting one. Competitiveness runs in my blood. I get it from my Dad. He had two stories he would tell about himself and sports. 1 was how angry his Dad got when he was in high school and the coach didn’t put him in as point guard in the state championship. They lost. The other was how when he was in little league his coach told him to crouch down so he would get walked every at-bat. Yes, my Dad was a short guy. In basketball they called him “Mouse”. He had a lot of spunk. He was scrappy and he could get heated when he was in the midst of battling on the basketball court, or in any other sport he played.

Well, I think I get it from him. As a kiddo, my greatest sporting accomplishments were:

1st grade field day, I earned 1st place in the sprint. I was always proud of this, but became even more proud when I was in my early 20’s. I received a message on FB from a guy I had gone to school with. He had done track in college and took it upon himself to message and tell me that I was the only girl that ever beat him in a race. I guess I should have been offended, but I wasn’t.

The other was my short-lived soccer career. I think I was about 7. I had never played soccer before. How hard could it be? During the try-out I won yet another sprint. So, I made the team. I would pick it up as I went along, right? Well, I was able to get the ball just fine and I could kick it SO far. The only issue was that everytime I kicked it with all my might, it went out of bounds. To the point where I was put in goal, or told to hang down by our net and get the ball away from the other team. Hopefully with all that field in front of me I could just kick it to the coach’s son. It went ok.

When I got to middle school, I tried again. I signed up to play basketball. The school I was at was a small private school, so the girl’s team went from 6-12 grade. I was a benchwarmer being in 6th grade and having little to no skill. It had its ups and downs. One of the first and maybe only times I was put in the game, I got so flustered, I shot on the other team’s net. The entire place was yelling “NOOOOO!”. It didn’t go in luckily, but I was on the bench for a while after that. The times that I felt like I contributed were always on the defensive side of things. I was scrappy like my Dad. I could steal the ball. I angered some of the girls on the other team. Even one time having a girl yell at the ref when I stole the ball from her. A foul was not called, and I let her know about it. It should be noted, Dad always came to watch me and to cheer me on. Even though I mostly rode the bench. He loved it, and of course thought my coach should have put me in more too.

Well, that was kind of the end of it when it came to me and sports. I played a little basketball and floor hockey with the youth group, but never really felt very good at it.

So it was kind of surprising when I was 29, I was working in a lab and two of my coworkers started talking to me about roller derby. As with a lot of derby player’s stories, I saw Whip It, and thought it looked awesome. I wondered if that sort of thing existed, but I didn’t pursue it. My coworkers “Kenya Diggit” and “HK” (I don’t remember what it stood for) would tell me how great it was and how it is quite a commitment. It was not just a sport. I am glad they warned me! I think in my head I considered a sports league like a bowling league or something. Pay your dues, show up on whatever night. Not derby. Other than feeling very down on myself and wanting to get some exercise, I had no other reason to do this. I had tried skating at a few birthday parties at Roller Kingdom growing up. I would switch between skates and blades and usually ended up on the rollerblades, but barely keeping myself up. Why would I do this? Well, I needed something. And they told me that they teach you everything. You just need to get the gear and show up. So I got myself to the skate shop, spent a LOT (to me) of money on all the gear, and figured if I do this, I won’t quit! This proved to be true. I showed up for the 1st night petrified. My friend who still skated, Kenya was a vet, and they were in a different area. I had to put myself out there. I am not a social butterfly, so this was more than just putting myself out there athletically. I had to talk to strangers! I had to try something I knew I would be terrible at, and all the while not knowing how everyone else around me would do. Well, it was a mixed bag. The overriding factor though was that we were all supporting each other at whatever level we were. We encouraged and cheered for each other when we got the thing we kept failing at over and over. I cried over this journey. I thought I would never get crossovers (still wish mine were better) and that I would never be able to transition, therefore I would never pass assessments and never make a team. I didn’t give up though. I don’t know how or why I didn’t, but I didn’t. At some point as I was progressing I watched the sport I was learning to play. Go figure. It only took me almost a year to check it out, but it changed the way I saw everything. I saw the strategy in it. I saw the reason each and every skill was important. It lit a fire in me to keep trying, and to play to my strengths. I never gave up on making my skills better, but they will never be perfect. I accepted myself though and felt pride for where I found myself. And yes, the Morrison competitiveness came out. I was and am a bully on the track. I still like to ruffle my opponent’s feathers. My brain is still geared toward defense. I found though, that I had confidence for maybe the 1st time ever in a sport. It changed me. I found myself on the travel team and going to tournaments. The bond with my teammates just got stronger. From the ones that watched my progression and trained me that were now my teammates, to the people I walked in with on that 1st night, we had a history and we celebrated each other getting it. We had highs and lows too, but we kept showing up and working to be better.

My mom told me the other day that the biggest change she has seen in me has been since roller derby. I love my mom. She always encourages me and tells me awesome I am. How I should be proud of what I've accomplished. It’s so funny to me that she said that because I’ve gone through career changes, marriage, separation, moves, family illness, divorce, you think those things must change you, and I’m sure they did. How funny though that something as silly as a sport or a league could literally give you the confidence to make decisions in your personal life that help you grow. To feel like you matter and you are strong enough to get through whatever obstacle is in front of you. There were nights I dragged myself to practice crying the entire way because of everything going on in my life. I would leave there feeling like I left the weight of the world inside Roll On America.

My Dad was so proud of me because of roller derby. He would always talk about it even in the last few months that I had with him at home. “When are you going up to Maine to play?” My big brother also came to a game the last season before the pandemic. I won MVP that game. I think he had tears in his eyes after. He was so proud of me too. I cried after he left in front of all my league mates that were there. I got all the derby hugs 💚. The beautiful thing is that you don't even need to tell your team what you're going though. They just know how to be supportive in all the little ways. I'm so thankful for these last 8 years and I'm not quitting anytime soon.

Roller derby saved my life.

“I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.”

[moonvalecrossing]

Now here's something I haven't asked you in a long time: a "Fav and Least Fav" ask related to Pokémon. Favorite and least favorite Gym Leaders of each type they specialize in? Kahunas and Trial Captains will count, but if one ends up as your fav/least fav, I'd suggest separating them and the actual Gym Leader that's your fav/least fav of their type. Also, Bede and Marnie's statuses as Gym Leaders will count too, mostly just so Piers can have some competition with his sis. :P

Alrighty. Time to sit down and tackle this!

Normal Type- Least Favorite: Whitney. WHITNEY. That damn Milktank. I’m sure she’s killed many a Nuzlocke team. And yet still has the gall to cry like a baby when she loses. She also comes across as one of those vapid dumb and pretty trend girls. “Everyone was into pokemon so I got into it too!” I really think skill is the only thing they care about when they hand out the title of Gym Leader sometime because this chick really doesn’t seem to be the type who’d normally get this type of authority.

Normal Type- Most Favorite: Cheren. He is adorable baby husband. Though mostly it’s really cool to see another rival become a gym leader like Green did. I just wish they’d kept his glasses instead of for some reason swapping them to Bianca for some reason.

Fighting Type- Least Favorite: Korrina. Her character art bugs me. Is she seriously supposed to be wearing skates and also doing fighting moves? I can’t even stand on four wheel skates without nearly breaking every bone below my waist. And you’re telling me this girl runs around doing axe kicks on roller blades??? No thank you. Also she hoists a Lucario onto you. I like raising my pokemon from their earliest point and you go and make me have to take one because I’d feel bad if I didn’t since it wants to come with me now.

Fighting Type- Most Favorite: Brawly. Mostly because he’s hot. Slightly because his gym is actually a gym with workout equipment in the remake and I find that amazing and hilarious.

Flying Type- Least Favorite: Skyla. Partially because of her anime counterpart. Mostly because I hate her design. Why are her wrists so thick on those gloves? Why is she wearing boots, a cropped jacket, those weird gloves, and what look closer to boxer style panties than shorts underneath a bunch of bondage-y belts? She looks like a generic anime waifu more than a pokemon character. Like a Mega Man OC. Of one of those weird dating games where the women are just objects in female coded human form Skyla’s a humanized seatbelt.

Flying Type- Most Favorite: Falkner. Because Kahili isn’t a gym leader. Congrats, Falkner. You cute little bugger. Also he’s the only notable male flying type trainer.

Poison Type- Least Favorite: Prepare the flame shields. I don’t like Roxie. Small children as Gym Leaders bug the hell out of me. I see Gym Leaders as characters with high authority in the pokemon world. I hate the idea of kids who look like they’re only a few years out from learning the alphabet and basic mathematics having any kind of power in a region. The only exception I have is Galar because the gym leaders feel less important since they’re merely sports celebrities. ...Also I hate Roxie’s Pebbles Flintstone hair. It makes her look even more like a baby to me.

Poison Type- Most Favorite: Koga. Despite the fact I still think that he and Sabrina had their gyms switched, he’s still my favorite. He even became a member of the Elite 4 and left the gym to his daughter. I find that sweet.

Ground Type- Least Favorite: (Actually Hapu, because of reasons stated above for Roxie, except even more because this kid is a freaking KAHUNA. Why is this little mud farm girl chosen to be the KAHUNA of a whole dang island and one of the most important people in Alola? Surely the Tapus could find someone better, but then again the gods must be crazy.) Clay. Because he looks like a Texan Business Tycoon. And I’m a left-leaning American. That should probably explain things well enough. Because boy howdy do I not wanna open that can of worms. Maybe if I ever get to the point of fighting him in Black Version my opinion will change. But like I said. My real answer is Hapu. Clay just has the misfortune of being next at the bottom of the line.

Ground Type- Most Favorite: Giovanni. Because he is my mafia husbando and I am a garbage human. Have you seen a picture of the man in the “How I became a Pokemon Card” manga? Hot damn. And his newer pokemon cards? HOT DAMN.

Rock Type- Least Favorite: Gordie. This Ronaldo Fryman looking fucknugget with accessory tips from Bling Bling Boy on Johnny Test. He looks like one of those smug basement dweller types who’d call me a FEEEEEMALE if I turned him down for a date. Also his official art does the same thing I hate about Diantha’s. His knee faces more inner-forward but his foot’s pointing outward. Unless that picture’s drawn with him in mid dance spin, dude’s ankle is broken. At least he looks kind of cute when he doesn’t have his hair styled back in that douchey style. I feel like he’d yell about feemales again if I told him I thought his mom was hot. Also he’s not wearing socks with dress shoes and that should be a criminal offense.

Rock Type- Most Favorite: Roxanne is super cute. Even if she’s skirting the line of young people in positions of power she actually looks like a mature person who was ahead of her age level in school. However I will object to the idea of her being a teacher in any shape or form like in the anime. This person hasn’t even struggled through the mental ravages of puberty aint no way she should be allowed to be a teacher.

Bug Type- Least Favorite: Burgh, if only because people use him as a stereotype a lot and I hate that. Toxic masculinity is bs. MEN CAN BE FABULOUS WITHOUT BEING GAY. That said, his pants and shoes are a color crime.

Bug Type- Most Favorite: Guzma is the equivalent of a Bug Type trial captain and you will never convince me otherwise. I- what- you’re really gonna fight me on this? Fine. Bugsy. Bugsy is my precious bug-catching child. Precious baby.

Ghost Type- Least Favorite: Acerola. I’ve already stated why I hate kids in power like this. Plus I just. do not like. characters with the bubbly personality and the cat mouth. I instantly know I’m going to dislike a character the moment I see that damn catmouth. I’m not coming up with a non-trial alternative for this one. I am either neutral to or love the other ghost trainers.

Ghost Type- Most Favorite: Morty. Because 1. He’s hot. 2. He’s got a sweet scarf. 3. Agatha’s not a gym leader. :P Morty has a very nice design. After the remakes came out anyways.

Steel Type- Least Favorite: There’s only like two of these. I don’t hate Jasmine at all but she’s the only other actual gym leader of the Steel Type. So we’re gonna use Molayne anyways. Mostly because his stick-ass gangly legs give me the creeps.

Steel Type- Most Favorite: I’ve never met him but Byron looks like a miner hobo and I dig that. Plus he made Roark and Roark’s hot. (Then why isn’t Roark my favorite rock gym leader? Because not all my favorites can be because of my asexual thirst.)

Fire Type- Least Favorite: Blaine always makes me think of my grandfather and I am not that fond of my grandfather. Even though Blaine seems much much nicer and friendlier a grandpa than my actual grandfather.

Fire Type- Most Favorite: Flannery’s design is adorable and I love it. Doesn’t hurt that it’s also the kind of outfit my more pro-fire trainer would wear.

Water Type- Least Favorite: Marlon. Don’t get me wrong. Marlon’s hot. But he gets to be least favorite for lying about being a tan boy. Seriously look at that tan line around his swim suit that pastey white skin does not do his design favors.

Water Type- Most Favorite: Wallace. This one is pure thirst. Pure. Thirst. Wallace is a babe. I love everything about this fabulous bastard. Especially his hat and scarf in the remake. Especially the remake. Babe.

Grass Type- Least Favorite: Milo. I’m starting to feel like the people who design and did the art for some of these newer characters don’t know how bulkier people’s legs work. Because Milo and Gordie’s legs just look really, really wrong. These characters do not have ankles their calves just end at flat feet. Also milo’s leg is doin that broken ankle thing too. Other images don’t make them look as bad, though. Other than that I hate characters who have no whites to their eyes. It’s freaking creepy and Milo’s baby face doesn’t help. And I can not figure out the design of this guy’s eyebrows either. I know he has them but they don’t look like the anything but exist to blend with his bangs.

Grass Type- Most Favorite: Erika. I like her design a lot. I guess some of the weeb in me still exists deep in there.

Electric Type- Least Favorite: Sophocles. I just don’t like his design. At all. Only other arguments I could give are the kid with with Clemont again. That and his jumpsuit.

Electric Type- Most Favorite: Lt. Surge, Volkner, and Elesa are are great. But Elesa wins because Lt. Surge is a paranoid soldier who makes getting to him a chore and Volkner looks like he takes the same brooding pills they fed to Cloud after Final Fantasy Advent Children turned into into the broodlord. Also ‘urgh need actually challenging opponents’ characters bug me, regardless of how attractive they are.

Psychic Type- Least Favorite: Tate and Liza. But this time the main reason ISN’T because they’re babies. No, no. That’s a big reason, but even being psychics can’t save them. They have a BIG problem. The main reason for these two is that their gym team is garbage. Emerald and Black2/White2 not counting in this because of the remake being their current gym team in my eyes its just a damn solrock and lunatone! I love me Lunatone, don’t get me wrong. But damn, kids. How are you actually gym leaders with a team of pokemon that is barely suitable for the gym trainer in the first gym of the region? The only starter that can’t hit you with a super effective move is the fire starter. Being a double battle only means that I can get rid of your pokemon faster because I get to use TWO pokemon moves on my turn.

Psychic Type- Most Favorite: Olympia. Her design is absolutely beautiful. I want her dress. I want her cape. She is the black and silver space queen and she WILL BE RESPECTED IN THIS HOUSE. Even if whoever did her art doesn’t seem to realize dresses don’t slip into the navel or hug into the crotch hole. Surprised whoever drew it didn’t also add the camel-toe since they think fabric works that way. If I were her I’d strangle someone with one of those magical floaty ring bracelets. Space mom aint having non of your objectification shit.

Ice Type- Least Favorite: Candice. You live in a winter town. Your gym is an ice slide hell. Put on some goddamn pants and a coat. I’m not gonna give you any sympathy when you end up with the worst cold ever.

Ice Type- Most Favorite: Melony. She is adorable and has actual weight to her. And she loves her kids. And holy shit look at her she’s actually dressed for cold weather and ice unlike nearly every other goddamn Ice Gym Leader besides Pryce.

Dragon Type- Least Favorite: Claire is an arrogant b-witch who cant accept defeat and is worst that whitney because at least Whitney gave you your earned badge when she stopped crying like a baby. Claire refused until you did some ‘trial’ and still didn’t think she’d have to give you the badge until granddad dragon master told her to stop being a child. Also she gets more least favorite points because she’s what has prevented me from talking about how much I hate Iris here. That’s right, Claire. I dislike you so much you get MORE hate points because you prevent me from hating another character more than you.

Dragon Type- Most Favorite: Raihan is a babe and the most challenging Gym Leader I’ve ever faced. Bonus points because technically I wouldn’t call him a type-based gym leader but a strategy based leader because he focuses on weather more than dragons. Plus his “Leader Challenges You!” post makes him look a little wild.

Dark Type- Least Favorite: Marnie. Because I wanted to see her brother again so I invited him to the Championship thing and Marnie freaking cockblocked me by beating her brother in the first round. LET ME SEE YOUR BROTHER, MARNIE.

Dark Type- Most Favorite: Piers is my husband and Marnie’s just gonna have to deal with it. :P He’s super cute and his worrying over Marnie in the post game was the cutest damn thing. Plus young Piers in his rare league card is so precious and gives me life. It’s gonna take a lot of work for any other dark type trainer to top Piers.

Fairy Type- Least Favorite: Mina. I hate Mina. Lazy/Unfocused/High artist characters piss me off. Alo Mina should have been a normal type trial captain because of smeargle and the fact that Ilima has pink hair and the same huge buggy-like water eyes Valerie has. Mina even dips her damn hair in paint like Smeargle does with its tail. Mina couldn’t be assed to have an actual trial the first time around. Second time around she just made you go collect something from people you already beat.

Fairy Type- Most Favorite: Bede. If you can’t look this beautiful sparkly eye angel of a child in the eyes and find him amazing once he becomes Opal’s apprentice, you have no soul and should probably get that looked at.

[garlic8reath]

what are your thoughts on teen dende? I think he is literally the cutest creature idk why but i just love his design and personality so much

I think Dende is great! Overall, a good lil bean, and I wish they got more screentime in canon, especially spending time with Gohan and Videl! Since I’m bored and stuck at home sick, here are some extended Teen Dende Headcanons:

I don’t buy the idea that Dende spent most of the timeskip (and the time afterwards) cooped up at the Lookout with only Piccolo (and Popo, who I tend to. Disregard from canon because of his Extremely Unfortunate Design.) for company. I think Namekians are extremely social creatures, and I also don’t think that there’s any real rule about Kamis not being able to visit the world below (I think that was more of a self-enforced thing that Kami Nameless had going because they were fed up with everyone and everything...) So I think Dende spent a LOT more time visiting with Gohan & Co. than what was implied by canon.

Maybe Dende was permitted to go to high school (and later college) with Gohan as a kind of exchange student, at least part of the time? I like the idea of Dende being able to develop a greater understanding of the world they’d be tending to by actually spending time on it and interacting with its inhabitants... Gohan of course would be more than eager to help teach, and Dende likewise to learn (and for any and all Quality Time with Gohan)

I like the idea of Dende and Videl becoming good friends too; Videl of course being more inclined to show Dende all the Cool Earth things, like roller blading and movies and ice cream and vigilante justice...

Also I like the idea of Dende trying on some Earth fashions and adding things like a bomber jacket, a few dresses, and some fancier scarves to their wardrobe...

On Piccolo and Dende’s relationship, I think that Piccolo was essentially like a weird older sibling/mentor figure to Dende, who really, really, tries their best in regards to caring for Dende and teaching them about their Kami duties (despite the fact that Piccolo absolutely loathes communing with Kami on the details of these duties), and for the most part Piccolo and Dende get along well and love each other, but there were/are some hangups stemming from Piccolo’s many severe emotional issues... I think there’s a lot of social/emotional telepathy stuff that Namekians normally engage in, and Dende trying to initiate this with Piccolo freaked Piccolo out on several different occasions. Dende has had to learn to make some accomodations for Piccolo’s needs for space & privacy, while Piccolo’s tried to become better socialized as a Namekian for Dende’s sake.

I think that Dende’s intended position as a Healer is something they still are training as, along with their Kami studies. I think that Healers are rare in Namekian society not because healing magic is rare, but because it’s a job that requires a huge amount of specialized knowledge and training, much like becoming a doctor or a nurse (basically Dende is training to be a Wizard MD)

Last little thing is that I think Dende does go to New Namek to visit their family at least once a year, and regularly has some form of contact with them (either some kind of magical communication device that the Lookout has, or some kind of long-range communicator that Bulma has cooked up.) Sometimes when Dende goes to visit, Gohan, Videl, Pan, and Piccolo come along as well.

[handmadecp]

A5 Leather Sketch Pad Cover.

Hi Guys, here’s another little Project that I reckon is suitable for all levels, as with the Previous A4 you can pretty much do as much or as little as you feel capable of for these. I’m doing a bit of a ‘Run’ on these types of covers at the moment as I discovered I have a draw full of new Notebooks etc. That’s what happens when you pick ‘the odd one’ up every time you go out. (Ha). but they are all varying sizes so should be fun figuring it all out. So..let’s get on.

So, here’s what I was aiming for and as you can see it came out pretty good. Always room for improvement..but not too shabby I think, hope you agree. I decided to do a Sheridan…esq’ type of design that I found in a big Leather craft book which I will show as we go through the build. Here we have the front view.

Back View

Side view showing the Tooled design going over the spine, I was going to leave it blank along here but after cutting the design in I didn’t like it so carried it around and I think it has given the cover a nice look, not often you see a cover with so much detail along the spine…you can do as you choose, it’s your project, if you are a beginner..don’t sweat the small stuff, just do what feels right for you, if you leave it blank this time…maybe you will have built some confidence by the second one..it’s all good. So let’s see how we got to this point.

I struggle to understand the ‘Ounce’ measurements they use to choose thicknesses..which is why I like to get hands on when choosing my leather, so for the benefit of all those who like me would rather they spoke English (lol) I will just describe it. I found a nice shiny, bendable and very ‘tactile’ piece of Veg tan leather, has to be on the high end of the ‘Grading’ as it is a beautiful piece..See, if you think it feels right for a Book cover..go for it, basically find a piece you like, not a dried out lower grade one as the shinier it is to start, the better the finished look will be.

Next I chose the book size I was going to do, I chose A5, you can choose whatever size you wish and just adjust for it as you make it. Seen here is me checking that I have a good excess around the edges. Many times when I first started I would think I had enough then by the time I’ve tooled, cut burnished, stitched and all the other doo dadding that goes on I would find that I couldn’t fit the book in any more and would have to cut the back cover to fit…not a good look…but you live and learn. also I will show another little trick that I use…I have to say I’ve never seen anyone else do this ‘ever’..so I’m claiming it lol. keep reading.

I like to use this method as it saves on a lot of measuring ( not that measuring is bad..I just prefer simpler ways..like this. I place the book inside the cover (to be) and run my finger around the outline of the book as shown here, this leaves a nice outline of the book…after that all I have to do is make sure I don’t glue or stitch any where near that and I’m good to go. Easy. Also, you can do this more permanent as a feature by wetting (Casing) the leather and use something to make the outline more pronounced as a ‘Feature. I like this look but it’s your choice.

Here I am tracing the design I want from a big Leather Craft book, there are many to choose from out there.( I can draw, but tracing is much quicker, I’m still practicing my Sheridan tecnique…for a future project. So this is fine for now. ) Tape the paper down if you need to, I would recommend decorators paper tape..it leaves less marks and doesn’t tend to tear your books. (Generally lol).

Next I wet (Cased) the leather really well, you don’t want it soaking , then leave it to dry out a bit enough to place the tracing over it without it going ‘mushy’. take a ball point stylus tool if you have one and trace over the whole design. If you don’t have one..you can use a pencil or pen but go easy you don’t want to tear through the paper, you only need a light imprint.

Here you can see how the ‘imprint’ has come out, faint but enough, no deep gouges. also note the outline of the book after I wet it and rubbed all around it. I actually used a spoon to do that.

I have chosen to use my new swivel knife with the thicker grip, it is a better option for people with hand problems like myself.

Almost half way, I am cutting the design into the leather. You need to remember how thick..or not your leather is, you want to leave a reasonable depth cut but at the same time you don’t want to cut right through…not a good look.

The design is now cut into the leather and ready for tooling. By now there should still be sufficient moisture in the leather to give a good imprint of the tool…if when you strike the tool you are left with a dark..brownish looking mark   / line..then the moisture is about right, if it is very light then just wipe a damp sponge over it again…not as much as the first time as you are just ‘Topping up’ the moisture content.

Using the Swivel knife, notice I’m trying to keep the knife straight..but I am also tilting it back at an angle ..basically cutting using one corner of the blade.  I learned all this from youtube vids, there are a lot of talented people out there willing to share their knowledge to us for free. Using a swivel knife feels very strange if you have never used one before, I thought I would never get it right…but time and practice is all you need.

The design after the cutting is done.

Half way through the Beveling. Note the white glove, I use soft cotton gloves to prevent my finger nails leaving drag lines or indents on the leather, I was told about this from a youtuber and it’s a great bit of advice for helping to keep your work that bit more professional looking, but …your choice.

Beveling finished, now for the detail work using the rest of my tools and the swivel knife again.

Half way through the detailing.

Close up of the detailing work, the darker areas are the ones that haven’t dried out as quickly.

Notice the marks on the flower leaves, these are called ‘Decorative cuts and are not meant for beveling, they add depth and character to a picture ( this is all learned from youtube vids, I highly recommend you have a look if unsure how to do certain things…or feel free to ask me  and I’ll answer as best I can, by the end of this there wil be hundreds more.

Much more detailing done now, there is a tool called a Pear shader…so called because it is shaped like a pear lol…I have used it to give a flattened almost bruised look to some of the leaves, you can see the light catching on them on the leaves. also, lots of ‘spiraling’ done now along the edges of leaves making them look like they want to unfurl. all these looks are created using a very basic tooling set, it just takes practice. I am by no means a professional…far from it but I have been doing this now for three and a half years and have seen how my old work looks compared to todays, like I said..it takes practice and I practice every week and hope to get even better one day.

After letting it dry out for a while this is starting to look like a book cover now.

Glad I chose to cover the spine too, it looks great.

So now I need to fit the inner piece that will hold the book in place, nothing fancy here, I just cut a piece of the same leather to fit, glued the edges with my evo stick 528 glue (which I use all the time) as shown in next pic and stuck them together , used a roller to flatten it.

Marked the area to glue..expecting that some of it will get cut off when I ‘Trim’ the cover to it’s final size…but for now it helps.

I have now trimmed the cover to it’s required size and used a coin to round the corners, it always looks better than leaving them square I think.

You can see here that I’ve done a stamped edge to the inner piece, there will also be one on the outside upper area , it catches the eye and ‘pulls’ the whole thing together…in your mind.  ( wooaah..deep lol. ) See the block of wax, If you are punching the stitch holes and you find it getting trapped in the leather…once out, push it into the wax a few times then try again, you should find that it slides out easily.

So, we are all cut, bevelled, tooled, stamped and had stitch holes put in where needed, now I’m covering the bits I don’t want to dye, I like the inside to be left flesh colored so I use Decorators tape to cover it but you might choose to dye that too. I’ve also tucked a piece underneath the inner flap thingy piece incase any dye tries to ‘wick’ to the underneath.

As it’s a big ..ish area to dye I didn’t use the daubers they awould take too long and it’s harder to get even coverage, so I use a sponge as shown and it goes on fast and I am able to even it out quickly as shown below.

A nice even coating of the Eco Flo Burgundy color water stain dye. here it is drying out.

Same on the inside, here it is dried and tape removed.

Here you can really see the Leather taking on a new life as a Book Cover but it still needs the Antique coating to really make the design stand out.

About to add the Antique dye, when using this if your first time, put some on a sponge…have some rags to hand….rub it over the area you want to cover ..as quickly as you can then wipe off immediately…Antique dye will darken everything it touches within seconds, so get it on and wipe off, if there are areas that need more…put a bit more on and do the same again…on..then off. Eventually you will probably just need to check there are no tiny areas that need doing..just dab these areas and wipe of until done. If however you look at it and think..oops it’s really darker than I expected now, don’t panic, also have to hand a fresh sponge with some water, dampen the sponge and wipe gently those area you wish to lighten. Don’t press down or you will lift the dye from inside the detail lines….you want the dye to stay inside the detail as that’s what makes it stand out.

Right, so now we are within sight of the finish line, you should be pretty pleased with your efforts by this point if you have given it a go. here you can see the decorative stamp work across the top, this was added to cover a large un tooled area but once a line of stamp was added inside as well it all started to become one. ( Yes..we arty farty types do get dramatic hahahaha. )..nearly there.

The full area just antiqued and drying.

For a finishing touch I added a small snap stud fastener strap which I stamped before doing the stitching.

That strap was attached with a rivet as can be seen here, nothing flashy and I coated the dyes parts of the project with leather Sheen by Fiebings, using a sponge again, there will be bubbles when you do this…there always are, some people water this stuff down a bit and that works for them, but I use it straight and keep gently sponging until the bubbles are gone and it starts to dry and disappear.

You can see the bubbles as I add the sheen coating, easy to do, just keep wiping gently and as the sheen thickens there become less bubbles ..then it goes smooth and see through leaving a lovely shine.

You can leave it there if you like, just Buff up the sheen coating till it shines and you’re done, or..you can add a Leather Balm coat, I use Effax from Norway which is a Bridle treatment that softens leather and it smells great, you could also use Aussie coat or any other Good leather balm if you wanted, that’s just my preference.

These two previous pics show me rubbing in the Balm coat, It’s very waxy so I also then use a hair dryer (Not a heat gun)..to melt the Balm, leave it about 20 mins and then start buffing as I am doing here, it can take a while but keep going because that effax balm does shine up after a bit of elbow grease and the finished look is just brilliant.

Annnnd..we’re done. If you’ve made one of these yourself after this give yourself a round of applause, if you are thinking of doing one after seeing this..I highly recommend you do…you will have great fun and a sense of accomplishment when you are done. If you can’t tool..no problem..a plain nicely dyed and shined up leather cover looks equally as stylish and cool. Hope you will put your pics up if you give it a go..please send me some private pics in my messages as I don’t seem to be getting to see anybodys work lately….and ask any questions, always happy to help, thanks. More to come from the new Workshop this year, hoping to be self employed soon and will be banging stuff out lol…well..thats the idea, we’ll see. Guys, thank you for following my little blog, I hope it entertains you and encourages some of you to give it a go. ‘Till next time..stay Crafty.

[twigstarpikachutroll22]

2, 9, 11, 15, 20, 21

2) if you could be fluent in any language at the snap of your fingers, which one and why?

I'm torn between saying Greek to connect with my grandmother better, and saying some ancient fae language or the language of the elder gods or something.

"I mean, I can already be fluent in any language at the snap of my fingers, albeit temporarily. There are spells for that, if I really need them. But there are old fae and eldritch god languages and the like which I am trying to learn and I guess knowing them more permanently at the snap of a finger could be nice. There are actually spells for that too, but like. They're harder. And I do like doing things the old-fashioned way sometimes too, y'know? I can get any outfit I want at the snap of a finger but I still sew."

9) what are your favorite shoes like?

They're Skechers slip-on sneakers, very dark navy, with little bits of glitter in all different colors amongst the dark navy.

"Worn brown lace-up boots designed for action and adventure. They're kinda pointy at the toes, grippy underneath for climbing, and you can slide these flat metal things out from under the soles for climbing too (y'know, like Arrietty at one point in The Secret World Of Arrietty?) I can also easily attach wheels or ice skating blades to the bottom when I need 'em. They're pretty rad."

11) if you were a dragon, what would you look like?

OOOOOOOH. Um. Yellow scales, a mix of like standard crayola marker yellow and more of a golden-ish yellow. And some shades in between the two. Maybe they're a bit glittery and/or rainbow-iridescent if you look reeeeeeally close. Orange or golden-yellow underbelly. My claws and any spikes, spines, horns, etc. are bright purple. So are the insides of my wings. So are my eyes, for the most part, although little flecks in them or maybe the edges of the irises or whatever turn different rainbow colors maybe responding to my emotions.

"Pink scales. Slightly shimmery and sparkly. Shiny amethyst purple horns, claws, and spines. The inside of my wings and underbelly would be some shade of green. Maybe some little shiny stars on me, and maybe some little flowers are on me, like, maybe I wear flower crowns as a dragon too. My eyes are still emerald green, and they glow or flash if I'm really trying to assert my power and all."

15) roller skates, roller blades, or ice skates?

I dunno, roller skates I guess? I don't even know how to skate XD

"Any and all of them, baby!"

20) weapon of choice in a medieval battle?

I wish I knew different kinds of swords and I dunno battleaxes and whatever so I could be extra specific. In any case, my first instinct in to say "word" because, well, swords cool, obviously. But I'm starting to think it might be easier to wield an axe or warhammer? So long as it was like, just light enough that I could easily swing it around but still with enough weight to do damage and all.

"I mean, I can handle literally any weapon, but I'm gonna go with either a sword (preferably fancy) or just my magic. Ooh, what about both?"

21) the BEST ice cream flavor

...Uh, Berry I think this one's just for you.

"Stardust! You ever had stardust ice cream? MMMM it's insane. It's absolutely wonderful."

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #478

“i get pretty just to fuck my face up”

If you were dying who would you say goodbye to first out of everyone? My mom. Are you someone who actually likes to babysit children? NO. Do you find any of your friends’ parents creepy or really mean? No. Do you have things on your mind right now? My weight is very, very much on my mind. I dared to weigh myself yesterday and I'm the heaviest I've ever been. So that's comforting. Are you at all stressed right now? ^^^^^^^ hunny I wanna pull all my hair out What was the last stuffed animal you bought? I don't know. What’s the last new good song that you discovered? "The Devil's Rejects" by Rob Zombie. I've been really into him lately. Felicity, Fiona, or Flavia? (with the “v” pronounced like a “w”–it’s Latin) "Felicity" is beautiful. I love the word in general. Which biblical name do you prefer: Naomi, Esther, Rachel, or Joanna? I love the name Naomi. Do you own a cowboy hat? No. Have you ever unfriended a sibling on social media? No; she unfriended me. Has someone let you down recently? My goddamn self. What are you looking forward to? Mom to get better so we can force ourselves back into the gym. Also Girt's mom to get better so we can see each other. For the weather to actually feel fall-ish. What’s your favorite Lady Gaga song? "Bad Romance." Skeletons or scarecrows? Skelly boiz What type of tree is the most common where you live? Oh, absolutely pine trees. Where did your last kiss take place? My living room. Name of your pet? Venus and Roman. How was your summer? Shitty. I hate summer. Do you miss anyone right now? I really miss Girt. Covid's gotta go. What size is your shirt? *feral hissing noises* Who was the last person you held hands with? Girt. Do you get out of bed on the left side or right side? Left, because I sleep mostly to the left. Do you like to be closer or farther back to the wheel when driving? Neither, I think? I haven't driven in so long that I'm not sure, but I'm quite sure I position myself pretty ideally. When eating dinner, do you eat foods in order or just inhale it? It's usually kind of in order, but occasionally I'll mix it up. When you lose your phone, where is the first general place you look? My bed. Do you fall asleep with your mouth open or closed? Usually closed. I tend to breathe through my nose unless I'm stuffy. What was the last bug you killed? An ant. Do you keep items in your front or back pants’ pocket? Front. What was the last item or location you cleaned? My glasses. Do you own a pet spider? No, but I REALLY want a number of tarantulas. :( The more time that passes, the more I want some, ha ha. I'd also love a jumping spider or two, but Mom won't allow even that. Have you ever gone on a cruise? No. Is there a rocking chair in your house? No. Have you ever been stood up? No. Do you like elevators or escalators? I'm scared of both. I'm afraid of getting stuck in an elevator, or falling down an escalator/tripping on one. Which do you prefer: M&M’s, Skittles, or Reese’s Pieces? Reese's Pieces, yum. If you could be the sidekick of a superhero which superhero would you pick? Uhhhh maybe Spider-Man, if I could web-sling too? lol Where on your body would you never get a tattoo? ... Can/do people get genitalia tattoos? Because I would fuckin never- Do you think that you could ever win a food eating contest? Hell no. I would puke. Honestly, have you ever thrown garbage out of the window of a car? Absolutely not. Never. What is the first song that comes to mind when I say: Michael Jackson? "Billie Jean." Which would you find more menacing: dinosaurs or dragons? Dragons are just dinos that can fly and breathe fire, so... you tell me which is more dangerous. I'd still try to befriend one tho lmao. Can you say “hello” in another language? Yeah; German is easy. It's just "hallo." Do you like licorice? NO omg Did anybody ever read bedtime stories to you when you were younger? Mom did. Do you have a favorite Johnny Depp movie? What is it? I really like his roles in Alice in Wonderland and Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. Were you ever force-fed as a child? My parents tried to enforce always finishing our plates. My mom is very against that now, considering the issues it can cause. Should kidneys or other organs be able to be bought and sold? No????? That's some black market bullshit for a reason. What is one of your most important rules when going on a date? Especially if it's your first date with a person, watch for red flags. Will children today have better or worse lives than their parents, and why? Well, it'll probably go in both ways depending on the topic. The environment is dying, the economy is horrific, but I'm sure there will be things like medical advancements. What's the most ironic thing you've seen happen? I dunno. Would you rather go ice skating or roller skating? Roller skating. The blades on ice skates scare me. How many different types of guns have you shot? (water, Nerf, real, etc) Uhhh just water and Nerf, I think? Which of the three meals a day are you most likely to skip? It's very unlikely you'll see me miss a meal... I don't handle the feeling of hunger well. What's something lots of people are afraid of, but you aren't? Snakes, some spiders, I don't THINK I'm scared of deep water, the dark... Do you know anyone who is tolerant of some on the LGBT spectrum but not all? Yes. Do open casket wakes freak you out? I've only been to one, as a child, when I didn't have a full grasp on death, so it was... oddly more fascinating to me, as weird as that sounds? I think going to one now, especially if it was someone close to me, it would make the wake more upsetting. When's the last time you slept in your parents' bed? No clue. What's something that will always be in fashion? Skinny jeans, checkered Vans... What "old person things" do you do? I regularly say "back in the day," lol. And I can go to sleep very early, like 7, but that's uncommon. I complain about soreness in my back and stuff. Do you live in the same hometown as where you were born? No. Did you dorm at college or commute from home? I commuted from home. Do you prefer the thin blue and white masks, or decorative ones? Well, who wouldn't prefer decorative ones? They're more personal to your interests and stuff and I feel is more encouraging to make people wear them. I however don't want to spend money on a mask, so I'm chill with just the blue surgical ones. Have you ever witnessed someone have a seizure before? My dog, yes. Have you ever rode on the back of a shopping cart, or a Home Depot dolly? Yeah, as a kid. Does everything you buy have to be organic? No. I don't buy the groceries, but I also don't care much about that. Do you support more small businesses or chain restaurants/stores? Habitually, chain ones. I wish I paid more attention to small businesses. Have you ever been crowned king or queen at a school dance? No. How old were you when you first started wearing a bra? Am I supposed to remember that? Are you more invested in computer games or video games? I don't care what the game is on; I can be equally invested in either. I prefer to play console games, though. Are you a fan of pumpkin spice everything? Noooo. I'm not a massive fan of it, actually. Is there any holiday that you don't decorate your house for? We only really decorate for occasionally Halloween and always Christmas. Mom may put up some Thanksgiving stuff. Tell me something your parents don't know about. They don't know certain places I've done sexual things at/on. What's the last table food you fed your pet? Roman doesn't get human food. He learned at a young age that's a no-no. Have you ever peed in the water at the beach? Ew, no. Even if it's incredibly vast, people still swim in that. Have you ever scored a winning goal for a team you played for? I doubt it. Have you ever participated in LARPing? No. Have you ever gotten a divorce? Never been married. Do you prefer "regular kissing" or French kissing? I mean that depends on the place and the mood. Are you more likely to give a hickey to someone else or get one? I haven't done that in many years, and when it happened, I don't think one of us did it more than the other. Do you like sprinkles on your ice cream? I HATE sprinkles. Have you been in more car accidents as a passenger or a driver? I've only ever been in an accident as a passenger. Have you ever been wrongfully convicted of a crime? No. Was any of the cafeteria food at your school actually any good? I actually didn't mind a good number of things. Have you ever wanted to become a lifeguard? No. What's the highest fever you've ever had? I'm unsure, but over 100. Have you ever kissed a dog on the mouth? Well, dogs have kissed ME on the mouth. al;sdkfjalksdjkf so gross When you were born was the umbilical cord wrapped around your neck? Uh, I don't believe so. I feel like I would know that if I was. Would you enter a burning building to save a kitten? I feel like I would, I think. My intense love of animals would probably force me to kick into action. Matthew, Mark, Luke, or John? Haaaa, I have a bias for "Mark," of course... but if we're talking which name I find most appealing, it's probably John. Or Luke. Have you ever been told that you talk too much? As a child, yes. Do you like to clean? Does ANYBODY enjoy it? Do you know of anyone who went into labor at the baby shower? Uh yikes. No. When's the last time you did a hand game with someone? (ie: Mary Mack) Probably not since I was little. Do you know anyone who was not born in a hospital, unexpectedly? No. Does anyone you know have dual citizenship to live in multiple countries? Possibly? Do you still have a landline phone/phone number? No. Name a fad that was popular when you were growing up, that you miss. Oh, I KNOW there's some things, but I don't recall right now. Have you ever gotten to milk a cow or a goat? No. I'm not sure I'd want to.

[lukerhill]

My top 10 DIY hacks that make projects much easier

These ten DIY hacks will make your next painting or wood build project easier!

I've gathered my favorite little hacks and tips for home DIY projects to share with you! They are tricks that save money and make projects go much smoother. 

I use ALL of them consistently and they help a ton, whether you're staining, painting or building. 

My summer of slothdom is about to end my friends! If you've been reading for awhile you know how I do. Heat makes me...tired. And grumpy. But mostly really lazy tired. 

I'm already dreaming up a bunch of DIY projects I want to tackle now that a normal schedule will be upon us again soon. 

That had me thinking about these DIY tricks. Some of them are pretty basic, but I wish I would have known about them in my early do-it-myself days. 

Never forget a paint color

We've all been there -- you need to touch up a spot, or you love a color so much you want to use it again. But did you use eggshell or satin? Was the color Storm Cloud or Stormy Clouds? 

I started using this easy way to keep track of our paint colors at the old house.

Use a sharpie and label the back of your switch cover with the name, sheen and brand of your paint: 

This post may contain affiliate links for your convenience. 

See my policies and disclosure page for more information.  

This is super helpful, especially if you're used similar colors throughout your house, or even a different sheen. 

If you need more for touch ups, knowing what type of paint you used will be especially helpful. Different formulas may look noticeably different even though they're the same paint color and sheen. 

Insulation tubing to fill holes

This skinny insulation tubing can be used for way more than just filling gaps in doors and windows:

It's the perfect way to fill large gaps in trim or along the floor. 

Since it's so easy to manipulate, you can cut it to the size you need and squish it into the smallest spots: 

It's especially helpful when you have a big gap you want to caulk over -- you'd have to use a TON of caulk. With caulk you have to fill, then and wait over and over again as it dries, fill more, let it dry, etc. 

With this it fills that in, you'll save all that caulk and you can fill in with a bead of caulk right over it. 

This would also be another great way to fill large holes in the wall! I have a method I've used for years, but a tiny cut of this may work even better. 

Paper bag instead of sandpaper 

I LOVE this little hack and use it often. Tear off a piece of paper bag to do your final sanding on wood staining and polyurethane projects: 

I really love this for after the final coat of polyurethane or protective finish on wood -- when you don't want to ruin the finish by sanding (even with a fine grit), but you do want to knock down the little bits that keep your finished product from being completely smooth. 

Just "sand" all over the surface with the paper bag and it will knock all of that down and leave you with a perfectly smooth surface and no marks. 

You can use this paper bag trick over a DRY painted surface as well!

Make cheap wood look much better

I use expensive pine for almost all of my DIY builds. I used it on my office built in bookcases and my giant entertainment center wall in the basement. 

You can use "common" pine or select pine -- I use select pine for the areas you'll really see...like the trim on the front of bookcases. 

Common pine is the most inexpensive and will have more knots and imperfections:

A lot of the time I will just roll on my paint heavily in those areas and let it go at that. You can see here that the paint didn't fill in that rough spot enough. 

If that doesn't cover it well enough or I want a really professional look and feel (aka I'm trying to be patient), I use a putty knife and wood filler to fill in those spots: 

I use spackle that I use when I fill holes these holes and it holds up just as well. 

Use the putty knife to push the filler in and then lightly sand before painting again. You won't even notice the imperfection when you're done!

Shims are your friend 

Wood shims are small strips of wood that are thicker on one end and really thin on the other. 

I shared how I use shims to install cabinets -- they are a must to help get the cabinets level and even as you install: 

You can use them underneath, behind and in between to get everything perfectly flush. 

But they're also super helpful for built in projects and getting the front trim looking super professional:

See how seamless those front frames are on the bookcases? That front trim is the most important part in my opinion -- it's what you see more than anything else! 

If your trim doesn't match up perfectly, you can use shims to bring the trim forward and flush with the rest. 

I didn't take the time to do this on my office built ins. To fix it and bring the front of the shelves forward just a bit, you'll want to tap the thin end of the shims behind that trim until it brings it forward enough: 

By the way, it's not the end of the world...most of the time only you will notice these small imperfections. (And anyone else who does gets a cookie...)

You may have to do it from both the top and the bottom, but it will work! When you have the shim where you want it, score it with a razor and snap off the end with the thin part still behind the trim. 

Use caulk to fill in any gaps the shims created on the top of the shelf. (On bookcases most will be above your head anyway.)

Picking the perfect piece of wood

The more you spend on wood, the less you'll have to watch for imperfections. It's worth it to me to spend (a lot) less on pine and spend a little more time digging to find "cleaner" boards. 

Watch for large knots (they may pop up or out of the wood over time), sticky sap (that is impossible to get off) and missing chunks of wood. 

If you find a board that checks all of those off the list, you'll also want to check the wood for bowing. A piece will look great on the shelf, and then you'll get it home and realize it's so horribly uneven you can't get it to lay flat. 

You can avoid this by holding the board in front of you on the floor and eyeing it right down the middle: 

You'll immediately be able to tell if it's straight and flat. 

If you look closely, you'll see that my board is slightly bowing at the end -- just a bit of a bow that goes to the right. This doesn't bother me at all if I'm using the wood for front trim, as I know I'll be able to secure it well enough. 

I always check my skinnier molding pieces for bowing as well. If it's thin enough you'll be able to straighten it out during install, but some pieces should be avoided all together. 

Check wood boards from all sides, as the wood can bow all kinds of ways. 

Get uniform spacing 

If you're adding a vertical or horizontal shiplap wall, you really want to make sure your spacing between each board is exactly the same throughout the project. 

If the spacing isn't consistent you will notice that small imperfection more than you think. 

I have found a coin is an easy way to get that perfectly thin, consistent gap between each shiplap: 

You'll want to move it down the plank as you nail it in. Sometimes I use a penny for a smaller break, sometimes a nickel.

Scrap wood cut to the length you need is also GREAT way to easily keep measurements consistent when you're installing a trim project: 

I find it especially helpful when installing wainscoting. I keep my "jigs" nearby and hold them up on the wall as I nail in the trim.

They make it MUCH easier to keep continuous distances throughout your project: 

Cutting a hole in the middle of wood 

Sometimes you'll need to cut a hole for an outlet, switch plate or vent on the wall. A jigsaw is the best way to cut those smaller, detailed spots:

It's easy to do when your cuts are on the side of the board -- just start cutting with your jigsaw from the side. 

But if you need to cut a hole in the middle of the board, this trick is helpful. Do NOT try to start a cut with a jigsaw directly on the wood. It will rattle all over and potentially snap the blade. 

Instead, use a drill and drill bit to drill holes into your wood as a "starter" for the jigsaw: 

That way you can slip your jigsaw blade into the hole and start a straight cut. I like to use four holes so I don't have to do any curved cuts. 

Use scrap to protect your projects

I tend to keep way too much scrap wood...I've learned to let go over the years but it hurts my soul a little bit every time. 

I do keep some scrap because I've learned it's hard to finish a lot of DIY projects without it! 

When you have a board that is going to fit just a tad too tight into a spot (and you really don't want to go cut millimeters off of it for the THIRD TIME), use scrap pieces to pound your trim into place: 

Here I'm holding the scrap underneath the trim and hammering it into place till it is level. If you tried to do this directly to the nice trim part, you'd dent the sides or front with your hammer or mallet. 

You don't ever want to force your wood where it won't fit, so if it's way too long cut it down. 

A piece that is thisclose to fitting, you can easily maneuver it into place by pounding it with your scrap wood. And your good wood will still look great! 

If you look closely, you'll see that I also use scrap to write down my measurements. Especially helpful if you're going up or down steps to cut your wood and you tend to forget the exact measurement by the time you get to the saw. :) 

I also use scrap wood pieces to remove trim -- if you put too much pressure on a crowbar it will dent or break the drywall: 

If there's much resistance as you push the crowbar back to pull the base away, it will dent your walls. Place a thin piece of scrap wood behind the crowbar and the wood will disperse the pressure. 

You can see how to remove baseboards without damage here. 

Easily clean paint brushes

And finally, the little paint brush cleaning tool I couldn't live without! (Now they are made to clean rollers as well!)

I use this brush cleaning comb every time I clean my paint brushes: 

You use it to comb the paint and dried up bits out of your paint brush. I use it when I wash the brushes, and then sometimes later after they dry to get any little additional bits out of there before painting again. 

If you use it consistently, your brushes will last a very long time. It has saved me hundreds of dollars over the years! 

I share a bunch more painting tips and hacks in this post. 

Do you use any of these simple DIY hacks? I use them on ALL of my projects, big to small. I'm sure I've forgotten a few, but these are my favorites. 

Any others you use consistently? Feel free to share in the comments. :) 

See more of our home here. 

To shop items in our home, click here! 

Never miss a post by signing up to get posts via email. 

This content is property of Thrifty Decor Chick LLC. If you are reading this on any other site other than https://ift.tt/1kRxOJ2 or one of her social media platforms, please contact her immediately (thriftydecorchick at gmail dot com). Any other use of this content is strictly forbidden.

[sirfrogsworth]

Merry Christmas!

I don’t like saying it because every time you say it, Trump thinks it is some victory. But I’m not going to let that human comb-over spoil Christmas. 

The wheelie walker for my dad should arrive by Thursday. So we will pretend it’s still Christmas when we open and assemble it. My dad was very happy when I gave him the news. Dare I say, a little giddy. And he was very thankful to all of you. I truly have some of the finest human beings following me in this tumblr community. It kinda makes me sad that I turned into a hermit and didn’t interact with you folks for so long. I suppose that was just something I had to do, but I missed all of you very much and I am so grateful that you have taken me back as if I never left. 

If you do celebrate Christmas, I hope you are with loved ones and getting lots of neat presents. I’m not sure what kinds of things people want these days. I hope kids get their favorite action figures, robots, dolls, OH... do they still make Power Wheels? That was the one gift as a kid that I always really wanted but Santa could never quite afford. Not that I blame Santa. Those things were expensive. But they were so flippin’ cool. I wish I could get like... an adult version of Power Wheels. Which as I am thinking about it now that is probably just a car. 

My favorite gift I got as a kid was actually a set of roller blades. Not normal roller blades though. They fit on top of your shoe and you locked them into place. They were actually kind of terrible, but they allowed me to learn how to skate. I eventually got good enough that I could use them when playing hockey on my long driveway. Believe it or not, I was an athlete even though I was chubby. I was always a bit bigger and stronger than kids my age, so that helped me participate even if I was lumbering and slow. My friends hated my slap shot because it would sting quite a bit if it missed their pads. 

Eventually I upgraded to real roller blades and got even better at skating. I could go backwards! Which was a big deal back then. I got brave enough to join a roller hockey team. I’m glad I did, but it wasn’t as fun as playing hockey in the driveway. First of all, they made you buy expensive equipment. I didn’t care for all the pads, as they made me slower than I already was. And jock straps are just uncomfortable. I suppose it is worth it to protect my potential future tadpoles, but I then understood why it looked like athletes were constantly grabbin’ their business and moving it around. One piece of equipment I didn’t mind buying was an Easton Aluminum hockey stick. I had to buy a used one because them things were expensive as heck, but it was still amazing. Like holding a feather. Turned my slap shots into bullets. 

I went to my first practice and put on all my pads and my helmet. I had my shiny new (old) stick in my hand. The coach took one look at me and stuck me on defense. He told me to stay back by the goalie at all times. I suppose that was his way of saying, “you’re too fat and slow, but I have to let all the kids play, so I will stick you in a spot where you won’t really do anything.” I tried to show him that I was still quite maneuverable and had the strongest slap shot on the team, but he already made up his mind about me. My job was to hang back and if the puck ever came to me, I was supposed to clear it. Basically hit it as hard as I could to the other side of the rink. 

I actually enjoyed practice more than the actual games. We would all line up and take turns shooting at the goalie. At least then I could show off a little. My first time up, the goalie had no idea what I was capable of. I don’t think he was expecting anything coming at him at that speed. He instinctively covered his face with his arms and let out a little, “Ah!” I scored in the very top left of the net and a few of my teammates were a little shocked. But it did not change my position of standing next to the goalie and clearing the puck back from whence it came. 

Our team was terrible. We lost every game by at least 10 goals. I was bored as heck. I wasn’t allowed past the line and I never really got to play. But I did have one memorable moment. A moment of defiance I guess you could say. When playing street hockey I found out that if I held the stick with both hands at the very end of the stick, swung it as hard as I could with the blade face up, I could send the puck flying over everyone’s head at ludicrous speed. Not exactly an approved hockey maneuver, and the puck usually ended up in the neighbor’s yard, but it was pretty fun. During one game we were down by like 14 points and I was yawning in my hockey purgatory position. Suddenly the puck got loose and made it all the way to me. No one was around and I had plenty of room. I said, “Screw it. They want me to clear this puck? I will heckin’ clear this puck.” I employed my street hockey technique, wound up like Happy Gilmore, and launched that puck into space. It flew so high it nearly hit the ceiling and it bounced off the opposite wall of the rink. I can’t remember if it made it all the way to the other side without bouncing. It may have skipped a few times. I’m a little fuzzy on that. But pretty much every person there took a second to stare at me with their mouth agape. When the coach pulled me in he just put his arm on my shoulder and said, “That was... interesting.” That was probably the most he ever said to me directly, so I called it a win. 

I’m not sure how I went from Merry Christmas to a roller hockey story. Sometimes writing these posts is a journey in itself. I hope you enjoyed that though. I hope you have a wonderful day whether you celebrate or not. I hope you can hug a loved one or a fuzzy pet maybe. Otis kinda hates when I try to hug him, but I think I’ll give him a big squeeze anyway and he can just wiggle out of it when he gets annoyed enough. 

Take care everyone. Happy whatever and I love you all a bunch!

[emsiider-blog]

Nightmares & Pity

Emily had made her way across the Dust District in search of Mr. Stilton’s manor throughout half of the day, but now finding that precious time trickle down getting closer to night, she knew she was going to have to bunker down before it got dark... the dying sun she had seen as she retreated through a window had told her that much. So the Empress, not wanting to travel in the dead of night settled down in an abandoned home, which had dust piled at the corners of each room. The air began to lift, becoming less thick as the recent storm settled. Emily was grateful for the mask she had to cover her mouth and nose, it prevented any of the sentiments to find their way to her lungs and she’d happily pay the price of having a dusty attire than the possible sickness from the weather. “Desperate times call for desperate measures, I suppose.” Emily breathed, starting to explore the house she’d call home for the night. With no surprise, the door to enter the small home was barricaded shut, meaning no one could enter aside from the window she had slipped through. At least then Emily knew she didn’t have to worry about any Howlers barging in or the Overseers sensing the Outsider’s Mark following them to call for treason. The idea of such a headache made her mind throb slightly… or was it really her lack of sleep? The day had drawn most of the energy from her having to hide from several Overseer hounds, half of the city’s population, and the threat of Pablo’s gang. A soft groan, passed pursed lips, wanting to finish looking over the rooms so she could actually get some rest. It didn’t take long for her to do a quick check over of the kitchen and half of the dust-filled bathroom to know she was mostly safe. Now for the last place, the bedroom.

The sound of her boots resumed until Emily stopped at the entrance of the room. The door was broken, hanging on one hinge as she stepped passed it, gazing around. Dirty paintings hung sideways on brown walls, one side of it was cover by grey dust and the other was clear enough just for one person. Coughing into her sleeve, boots sounded across the wooden panels, over to where she spotted a bed rested against the wall. This would make a good cushion, much better than the dusty floor. She’d check it over, patting the dirt off and wiping it down one final time before she let it fall into the mostly clear area. Emily lowered onto it as a low sigh brisked her lips. “Much better.” Her voice hummed, unholstering the weapons she had, soon placing them by the bedside. As she began to lay, pulling her mask off, and settling down for the night she went over the things she’d do in the morning, knowing that whatever Delilah was hiding she’d figure it out and exploit its uses fully. Her mind was a roller coaster, rushing past all the objectives needed to be done, conjuring expectations but finally wondering what would be her next move once she did come to know the witch’s secret. There was no telling until tomorrow’s events played out.

It took several minutes for Emily to finally find sleep, it’s darkness blanketing over her eyes, clouding any thought in her mind as the Void took her to a dream she’d wish to escape from. A dream that haunted the Empress. The death of her mother…

Tall white walls rose around her, the small girl taking her time as she followed Corvo, a little breathless from the game of hide and seek the two had just played and the many stairs she had to climb to get to where the sounds of her mother could be heard. Her voice didn’t sound pleased and as it seemed the spymaster was talking as if the Plague couldn’t be cured. Even if it didn’t seem like it now they still had to have hope, didn’t they? Sokolov said his Elixir would cure it so they mustn’t give up! Emily maneuvered past the Royal Protector, over to where the Empress stood speaking harshly with the other man. “Mother, Corvo is back!” Her lips pulled in a smile hoping to ease the tension between the two as she dismissed the spymaster. The old crow. Brown eyes dared to look up into his wrinkled face but quickly snapped back to her mother’s after seeing his narrow beady eyes. They seemed to burn into the pale skin of the little girl sending shivers down her spine. Before long Corvo replaced the croon, Emily stood back watching attentively in hope of hearing the good news he brought. Her foot lifted pressing against the marble floor as her hands folded behind her back in anticipation. Dark eyes not moving from the letter the gentle hands of her mother held. Though as the Empress would continue to read her expression would lower, shadows casting worry, making the young woman look much older than she really was. By then Emily knew the news held bad intentions without her mother saying so. “Are you okay, Mother? You seem sad.” Though Emily shared that emotion. Anger filled the young girl, not understanding why the other Isles weren’t as merciful as theirs were. They helped them, the least they could do was return the favor!  Jessamine's sadness mirrored onto her own and before she knew it her gaze tore from the letter, moving closer to her mother, outstretching a hand for comfort. It was only a light gesture but she knew it meant the world to the now distraught Empress. A comforting mother’s hold reached back to her child, cupping Emily’s cheek as a small smile lifted her lips, speaking encouragement to her heir.

The sweet, caring moment had passed as soon as it came, the world around her glitched violently to the dark atmosphere of the Void and back again, continuing to do so afterward. Disorienting her mother’s figure and changing Emily’s dream to where she now seemed to be having an out of body experience as her older self. The white marble structure would move to thick black rocks and cold drafts but would always come back to where she still stood next to her beloved mother, peering past the columns out towards the rooftops. Spotting the assassins as they rushed across them headed straight for the trio. The older Emily who watched helplessly as her younger father fought with brawn to protect his family. Killing each assassin as they made the attempt to take her mother’s life. Once they all disappeared in green fragments, the little girl ran over to the Lord Protector, hugging him in relief but Emily knew better, she knew what was coming. “No, the threat isn’t gone!” She’d call out wanting to run over to her mother, but some unspeakable force was keeping her down. Gluing her to the floor and no matter how hard she tried to struggle there was no use as the last assassin came into view grappling Corvo immobile. “Mother, run!” Emily cried, watching as Daud’s vicious hands grabbed Jessamine’s brown hair pulling her to him. “Please, not her. Not this!” The dream glitched once more, visions of black tears streaming down the mother’s face as her child was thrown back. Emily stood there watching with pain, not even realizing the piercing scream as it ripped her mouth open, watching the blade run through her mother’s corpse.

“NO!” Blood ran cold, sweat covered her forehead and tears wetted her cheeks as the now older Empress shot up from her bed. Brown eyes wide with fear as she came face to face with the black pupils of the Outsider. They shifted looking at her own irises, their noses brisked each other's for mere seconds before a gasp breathed past her lips. She’d quickly scurry back putting distance between the both of them, hands fumbling as they slid down the fine sand. “What do you think you are doing?” Emily’s voice was filled with irritation, the idea of him seeing her like this struck a cord wrong within.

A dark eyebrow would raise as her answer. He hadn’t been there the whole time just a few minutes before she had actually awoken, though by the way she tossed and turned one would think she was already awake. He had wondered if it was his presence that had sent her into the nightmare or was she deep within it when he had arrived. Unsure of the answer, he had decided to stay out of pure curiosity. The Outsider knew what she was dreaming, like any child their fears eventually came back to them in the darkest of nights. Dear Emily, poor Emily. He had watched her expression tighten in pain, he had seen her restless movements and the tears that watered her lashes. If he knew any better he’d feel sorry, the sympathy which would make someone conscious of their past actions… maybe even guilty because of them. The Outsider made an expression of sorrow, raising his eyebrows as he gazed upon the Empress. He felt bad that there was nothing he could do to quell her dreams but knew that those were lessons being replayed, the importance of letting her learn to not make the same mistake was a greater mercy than waking her up. Upon a moment of peace in her restlessness, he progressed drawing closer to her, curious that maybe he could help in some way, anyway. The black smoke that flickered and disappeared behind him drifted over her being, his cold eyes looking at the marked hand that sprawled across her chest. Maybe if there was a comforting touch, she’d calm. Slowly the Outsider extended his own pale hand over across the space between them, cold digits brisking against hers, black eyes taking in the soft glow the mark emitted as his hand grazed it. His mouth opened wanting to say something to the sleeping Empress, but before his digits could wrap around her palm or his words left his lips, Emily had shot up in that instant waking up. He lacked any surprise but instead looked at her as if he knew she’d wake up from his dead touch. And that’s where her question was asked, then answered though lacked given a very good explanation.

“Well?” His gaze would flicker down to the hand he had been touching seconds ago, thinking. “You twist in your sleep, afraid of the past, fearful of the future. Your dreams are plagued with haunted memories but still, you hide them behind stoic expressions and determination. You slept restlessly and in your dreams I found it benefitting for me to watch. To understand.” His words were carefully picked, rising from his knees to his feet. No evidence of dust was left on dark pants or in the world he had been kneeling on. It was as if he was a ghost passing through the tangible universe leaving his touch and mark on the people who inhabited it. “You were watching me?” Her incredulous questions began again. So many questions. “Yes, but I watch the world, not just you, Emily.” He took note of how her gaze lowered. “Your nightmares have a heavy effect on you. Tears from an Empress is certainly a rare thing.” His steps carried over to her, leaning down again so he could gently brisk a finger against her wet cheeks, feeling the warmth of her skin and sensation of her sadness. Though it wasn’t long until Emily pulled away from him, brown eyes giving him a warning glare before shoving to her feet. “You shouldn’t be watching me. You shouldn’t be here.” The Outsider rose alongside her, watching with darkened eyes as she brushed herself off, straightening the attire she wore. “For what it’s worth, I am saddened by the pain you have.”

Pity. If it’s one thing Emily hated more than the men who took her mother’s life, it was that. Her jaw clenched with anger, brown eyes burning with a fierce intensity. “I don’t want your pity, I’m just fine on my own.” Strapping the pistol against her hip, the Empress gave the Outsider a narrowed glare. “Don’t treat me like the child I was so many years ago, I’m much older now and I don’t need the sympathy from you or anyone else.” With that she angrily strode towards the door, leaving the whale god to ponder on her words as she started her day early. “I… Emily.” Though he had no words to say, whatever was there, stayed.

[wingsofvoltron]

Master List

Sorry for the lack of content y’all. I’m in the last few weeks of my semester and that means it’s crunch time. I’m basically a ball of stress at the moment. I’ll try to squeeze in an update here or there when I can but I have no idea when that’ll be. However, I don’t want to leave you guys with nothing. So here’s a master list of all of my completed Klance fics for y’all to enjoy if you haven’t read them before. Even if you have, go back and read them again for nostalgia’s sake. 

Chaptered Fics (in order of oldest to newest):

Stranded 

Rating: T

Chapters: 20

Summery: 

“Pidge, we need to get off this ship.”

“Yeah...about that…see, it’s easier said than done. The ship lost all power. Even the backup systems are drained. And whatever it is that attacked set up some sort of modified particle barrier around the ship. Nothing can get in or out from the looks of it. So yeah, you’ll need to shut that off. The only way to do that is by navigating through a dead and damaged ship which includes jumping the gap to get to the other half, and manually shutting down whatever is keeping it up. All I know right now is that whatever it is, is giving off a reading I’ve never seen before.”

“What?!” Both Keith and Lance yelled at the same time.

“Until then...it looks like you’re stranded.”

(This is basically one giant bottle episode)

Dear Keith

Rating: T

Chapters: 34

Summery: 

Keith receives a mysterious note in the mail. There's nothing written on the envelope but his name. When he reads it he learns of some guy named Lance who is writing to Keith to tell him the story of how he messed everything up.

Lance is distraught after he is left all alone after his big screw up. To ease the pain, he writes a letter to a made up person...or so he thought. Keith was just a name he picked randomly but when mysterious drawings start appearing in his dorm room, depicting scenes that he's written about, he starts to think Keith might not be just a figment of his imagination.

(My most popular work. A roller coaster of emotions)

One-Shots (in order of oldest to newest):

Seventh Wheel

Rating: G

Summery:

And Keith. Keith must’ve been devastated when Lance was taken. Lance didn’t want to picture the look on his face when Keith realized Lance was gone. He was the last person to talk to Lance after all. No doubt he’d be blaming himself. That’s just the kind of person Keith was. Lance had to admit that if the roles had been reversed he’d be feeling pretty guilty right now. But on second thought, Keith was probably skilled enough to not get caught like he did. Lance thought back to Keith’s desperate cries for him to retreat. Why didn’t he listen to him?

“So stupid, Lance…” He said to himself. “So, so stupid…” He was quiet for a moment before saying something that shocked him. “I’m sorry, Keith...”

(Some angst)

You are my Sunshine

Rating: G

Summery:

Lance entered his dark apartment and shut the door behind him. He leaned against the thick wood of the door, the smile he wore all day falling from his face. Every day was the same for Lance and it had been that way for the past three years. In fact, tomorrow was the anniversary of that terrible day three years ago.

Lance sighed and pushed himself off the door, heading farther into his apartment. He stopped momentarily by the couch and dropped his bag on it. His boss had been angry with him today because he hadn’t been able to focus long enough to get any actual work done. Lance didn’t blame him. He should’ve taken the day off anyway. He thought that after three years he would be able to handle it but he was wrong. How foolish of him.

(Some more angst)

While You Were Gone

Rating: G

Summery:

“I’m not angry.” Keith snapped, glaring at Pidge.

“Okay, sure.” Pidge said sarcastically. “And I don’t pilot the green lion.”

“I’m irritated.” Keith said harshly. “There’s a difference.”

“My apologies.” Pidge said with a roll of their eyes before looking at Keith for the first time. “And, pray tell, why are you irritated?”

Keith knew the answer to that question. He’d known since Shiro, Hunk, and Lance had left the castle why his temper had risen. But that didn’t necessarily mean he wanted Pidge to know.

(Actually not angst)

Do I Even Make a Sound?

Rating: G

Summery:

No, it was better to quit while he was ahead. Avoid the pain and pretend that everything’s okay. Like he always did. Like he would continue to do because that’s who he was. Lance, the goofball. Lance, the jester. Lance, the hopeless romantic. Lance, the useless one. Lance, the forgotten one.

Lance hugged his knees closer to him and he let out a sob. His chest felt heavy and his eyes hurt. He just wanted everything to stop. He wished he was back home. He wished he had never heard of Voltron or Galra or aliens or any of it. He wished he’d never found the blue lion.

He wished he was needed.

OR

Where Lance runs off all distraught after the math talk in season 3 and Keith chases him.

(Back to the angst) 

Reason for Leaving

Rating: T

Summery:

When Keith had announced that he had decided to leave Voltron to pursue his Blade training, Lance had felt something inside him tear, something that had only been holding on by a thread. But Lance had maintained a straight face, not wanting the others to see how much pain he was in. And he especially didn’t want Keith to know how much his leaving was going to affect Lance.

OR my guess as to what the real reason why Keith left was and then just running with the idea until this was made.

(Yup. More angst. Are you sensing a pattern yet?)

Lonely at Best

Rating: T

Summery:

"As the song came to a close, Lance stopped them but continued to hold onto Keith. Lance could feel the warmth radiating from Keith. He hadn’t realized that they had moved closer together during the duration of their dance. Their faces were close, only inches apart. Lance could feel something grip his insides, the moment he had wanted for so long only seconds away. He could feel Keith’s breath ghost across his face as he leaned down towards him, breathing in his sweet scent and committing it to memory. "

OR Lance and Keith are working through their feelings for each other while simultaneously dealing with the duties of saving the universe. Based on the song Kissapohobic by Make Out Monday

(Can you guess what I’m going to say?)

[whoiskt]

2017 end of the year questions

This was an askbox game last year but since you can’t edit posts anymore, I’m just going to copy and paste it all, fix it, and just answer all the questions. Deal with it!!

1: What did you do in 2017 that you’d never done before?

Became a manager, asked someone out, learned how to roller-blade, got my wisdom teeth out, enacted a “dibs”, found a new doctor and scheduled an appointment with him on my own, went to a meet-up, met a celebrity, & probably a few other things?

2: Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

My resolution was to get shredded and I'm still a punk bitch so no. I'll make more probably because that's how I'm like. And I’ll continue to try to get shredded.

3: Did anyone close to you give birth?

No. (But I want to be an aunt so bad!!)

4: Did anyone close to you die?

Thank god, no.

5: What countries did you visit?

America. I barely left the state? I think I was in Illinois for like, a 6-hour period. Spent the rest of my hours in the Wisco disco!

6: What would you like to have in 2018 that you lacked in 2017?

A good time. Love. Kindness. Respect. Peace.

7: What dates from 2017 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

May 18th. I don't know why that one specifically when so many shenanigans happened this year, but it is the one date I just can't get out of my head. I'll forget it one day, hopefully.

8: What was your biggest achievement of the year?

Surviving. Uhhhh... but honestly idk completing a month of daily poetry-writing? Also, I made my resume look REAL good. I guess I did summon up a lot of courage in order to (A) attempt to ask out person and confusingly later (B) tell person I had feelings for him, but that turned into such a convoluted mess it’s hard to consider it an achievement. It was very hard and the payoff was zilch. But it took a lot of confidence that I’ve never had before..... so.... I guess..... it’s an achievement...

9: What was your biggest failure?

Hooooo boy... hard to say, even. Lots of failures!

10: Did you suffer illness or injury?

Heart break. Had pneumonia too but that was objectively less bad while also being extremely unpleasant.

11: What was the best thing you bought?

Uhhh, my water filter tbh? Staying hydrated.

12: Whose behavior merited celebration?

@oubliette-of-deduction has been a true friend this year always listening to my woes and my sister, Erika, has been there for all of my lowest moments (pretty much) to come and pick me up.

13: Whose behavior made you appalled?

My own at several points. Lmao whatcha doing gurl? I do not know.

14: Where did most of your money go?

Same place it always does; school and rent.

15: What did you get really, really, really excited about?

Love. The Incredibles 2. Having hope anything would turn out. Mind Field season 2.

16: What song will always remind you of 2017?

Hard Times by Paramore. Feel It Still by Portugal. The Man

17: Compared to this time last year, are you: (a) happier or sadder? (b) thinner or fatter? (c) richer or poorer?

Sadder. Thinner. Poorer.

God I can't wait until the year I can say happier and richer.

18: What do you wish you’d done more of?

Live in the moment.

19: What do you wish you’d done less of?

Obsess.

20: How did you spend Christmas?

With the fam at home doing the usual. It was nice.

21: Did you fall in love in 2017?

😞 No

22: What was your favorite TV program?

Bojack Horseman, still. Also enjoyed The Good Place, B99, and Steven Universe.

23: Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?

..........No..... I don’t think I’m capable of hate. 

24: What was the best book you read?

Good Omens

25: What was your greatest musical discovery?

Rediscovered Cake. Lot of rediscovering this year, actually. Also, Portugal. The Man, Crywank, and just discovered Saint Motel like, two days ago.

26: What did you want and get?

Uhhhh, tickets to mbmbam and brain candy live. Treat yo’self

27: What did you want and not get?

Requited feelings. Not just of the romantic sort.

28: What was your favorite film of this year?

Get Out, probably, but as always I missed a lot of movies.

29: What one thing made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

Satisfying is not a word I'd use to describe anything relating to this year.

30: How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2017?

Sometimes dressed to convey I’m doing much better than I actually am, other times just dressed to survive.

31: What kept you sane?

Journaling, extensive journaling. Also the cause of my insanity, maybe? I didn't keep sane. Trick question.

32: Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?

Stephanie Beatriz. The McElroys. Michael Stevens. John Boyega.

33: What political issue stirred you the most?

Too many political issues. Too overwhelming. Too stirring.

34: Who did you miss?

😞

35: Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2017.

Nothing is simple.

“Fake it until you make it” does not apply to being happy.

Doing hard stuff doesn’t mean you’ll always be rewarded.

36: Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.

Me? Well I'm well Well, I mean I'm in Hell Well, I still have my health At last that's what they tell me! If wellness is this what in hell's name is sickness? But business is business!

[gxldentrio]

i got you this rose and i need to know

Summary: She’s all looks, Petunia is. Tall, thin, elegant. Sheets of blonde hair frame her face, white and pink pearls adorn her pale neckline. And when her eyes squint and her teeth show—that’s when Lily knows she’s in trouble.

Word count: ~2.4k words

A/N: For the two loves of my life, who share this glorious day as their date of birth. I love you to the moon and back. @bantasticbeasts @yulbos. (Also, thank you @ shawn for letting me borrow your lyrics for the title. Could not have done this without u)

FFN / AO3

*

It’s all very complicated.

At least, that’s what she tells herself.

 i.

They were arguing again—Lily can’t really remember what about, except that it hadn’t been exactly pretty. The second Lily’s insults became directed at her brother-in-law, an awful man named Vernon Dursley, Petunia got all angry and shrilly like usual, and then Lily’s tongue got sharper, and –well.

Her sister had wanted to make a point, and so it was only natural that when she implied Lily was unable to get a boyfriend of her own, which was—supposedly—why she was so incredibly rude to Vernon, Lily would have blurted out that she was in fact, in a relationship, thank you very much.

In hindsight, Lily reckons she should probably get a new mouth, one that waited for her to think before it started talking. Wouldn’t that be fucking great.

 ii.

When Lily comes home after school one day, she finds her sister sitting at the kitchen table, flipping through a gossip magazine—either Ok! Magazine, Grazia or Marie Claire, she doesn’t really remember.

“You’re not really dating, are you, Lily?” is the first thing Petunia asks her, with her nose turned up in disgust as she stares down at her younger sister. “No respectable male would be caught dead with you.”

Lily scoffs as Petunia places down the magazine. “First of all, why do you assume it’s a guy when I’m as bisexual as they come—“

“You’re confused, is what you are—“

“—and secondly, I’m not messing with you. I have better things to do with my time than find new and exciting ways to annoy you,” she replies, rolling her eyes.

A dangerous smirk dances on Petunia’s lips, and as her eyes light up, she says, “bring him ‘round for dinner, then.”

“I will,” replies Lily, staring defiantly at her sister’s eyes, daring her to go ahead.

She watches as Petunia picks at her impeccably manicured nails. “Next Saturday, at seven o’clock. Don’t be late.”

“We won’t,” Lily snaps, her voice two octaves too high.

Petunia smiles, showing off her pearly white teeth and perfectly hydrated lips.

“Fantastic.”

 iii.

She’s laying on top of Potter’s bed, with her feet hanging off from the side and her face pressed into his pillow. She lets out yet another long and pained whine, and then says, “what have I done?”

“How should I know?” he replies from the leather swivel chair, biting his lip and furrowing his brown in concentration as he attempts a triple head combo on Ultimate Mecha Strike III. “The only thing you’ve done since you got her was complain about a ruined life. No clarification whatsoever.”

“It’s really bad. Like, worse than Sirius’-obsession-with-Gasolina-bad.”

He looks over at his bed and pauses the game, carefully placing the remote control on his lap.

“Get on with it, then.”

“I may have…” Lily’s cheeks are redder than her hair now, and for some reason, she can’t find it in her to face him.

“Yes?”

She gasps for air before blurting out, “I-may-have-told-Petunia-I-was-dating-someone.”

James, the idiot, throws his head back and lets out the loudest bark of laughter, one that can only be rivalled by Sirius’ that one time during the year eleven ball when they saw Dumbledore roller-blading through the venue.

“It’s not funny, Potter,” she huffs, because of course he’d revel in her agony.

“On the contrary, Evans, it’s hilarious.”

“She wants me to bring them over for dinner this weekend,” adds Lily, looking absolutely miserable, and of course, James replies by laughing even harder. “What am I going to do?”

He pauses to think for a second, furiously running his hands through his hair, when suddenly, his eyes light up.

“What?” asks Lily, mid-ponytail-adjusting.

“I could be your fake-boyfriend,” James proposes, shrugging his shoulders like it isn’t that big of a deal. (It is.)

Lily lets out a breath.

“Would you?”

“This will really annoy Petunia,” he prompts, licking his lips.

She looks down at his mouth, but shifts her attention back to his eyes before replying, “so it’s settled then.”

James stretches his hand forward. “Carved in stone.”

Lily takes it, and they both hold on for slightly longer than necessary.

“Brilliant,” she nods. “Thank you for doing this, Potter.”

“It’s no problem. I’ve always liked a good ruse.”

It’s a shame, then, that in reality Lily is completely infatuated with the bloke and would love nothing more than to grab him by the collar and shove him into the nearest closet. And, when Algernon –Potter’s cat– comes in with a bacon sandwich, it almost feels like he can sense how distraught Lily is over the whole thing.

Much later in the day—Potter invited her to stay over for dinner, because of course he did— they’re sat in his carpet, soaking up the moonlight, a bottle of rum that James nicked from Euphemia’s cabinets swinging back and forth between the pair of them.

“You were my first kiss, Potter,” Lily admits.

“You were mine, too.”

She tries convincing herself of how lucky she got, because honestly, it’s quite the perfect set-up. They’ve been mates for so long now, and she’s at his house more often than not, and he took her as his date to his second-cousin’s wedding.

Still, there’s something tugging at her heartstrings, but she vows to try her damn best to squash it. Whatever butterflies she’s got going on have got to go.

 iv.

At precisely seven o’clock, Lily rings the doorbell, James at her side, holding her hand. When Petunia opens the door, he tightens his hold on it.

The house looks just like always, but tonight it feels even colder. It’s not particularly pleasant living with Petunia and her husband, but even Lily is not used to the icy blue hue that colours the kitchen. It’s the dead of winter and it almost feels like the weather is doing it on purpose. Maybe Petunia had something to do with it—she’s always liked having connections.

Petunia greets the two of them with a smile, a fake one, of course, and looks Potter up and down as if she’s testing him, as if she’s testing them. She can hear Vernon’s voice coming from the living room, rough and gravelly, and Lily hates it, hates that she feels like an outsider in her own house. James senses this, and presses a kiss on her left temple, all part of the act, nothing short of bittersweet.

They make their way to the dining table, calm and quiet, and James puts his arm around Lily’s shoulders, a silent way of telling her he’s there and she can rely on him for support.

She knows. He is her best friend, after all.

Petunia serves them meatloaf and mash, with green beans on the side. Vernon tucks right in, blissfully ignorant to Lily and Petunia’s silent argument. Vernon Dursley is not dumb, but he’s also not particularly clever, and Lily wishes that was the worst she had to say about him.

Today, however, he’s not important. What matters is that she and James make their sham of a relationship seem believable enough.

It’s harder for her than it is for him, she learns. He doesn’t have to think before reaching up to trace the back of her hand, or to flick her on the nose. Lily guesses he must have loads of practice in pretending, what with every ploy he pulls with the rest of the Marauders, his brothers in everything but blood.

And so, because he knows Petunia, James doesn’t launch into an elaborate story of how the two of them came to fall in love, and then into a relationship. Instead, he sums it up in two quick sentences, tries to act as normal as possible, and stares deep into Petunia’s eyes as if to say ‘I’m on her side.’

If Lily’s parents were here, it’d be different, he’d be different, but they aren’t. They aren’t—and well, Lily finds it best not to dwell on such things. This is what she has to deal with. This is her life now.

She is certain her sister can feel the animosity radiating from James’ body. He’s tense, and Lily can feel his leg jumping up and down in a failed attempt to let go of all the pent-up energy. She places her hand on his thigh. He looks down, and then his eyes trace the skin up her bare, freckled arm, to her exposed collarbone, to her flushed cheeks.

She’s all looks, Petunia is. Tall, thin, elegant. Sheets of blonde hair frame her face, white and pink pearls adorn her pale neckline. And when her eyes squint and her teeth show—that’s when Lily knows she’s in trouble.

*

“She saw right through us,” Lily breathes, holding her head between her hands as she crouches down on Potter’s sofa.

“You don’t believe that.”

“I do,” Lily murmurs, and then her silent sobs become louder and it doesn’t take long for her to be drowning in her own tears. It’s a good thing his parents aren’t home.

“Hey, hey, hey,” James tells her, his voice so gentle that it’s barely even there. “What’s wrong?”

She can’t really tell him, of course. Can’t tell him the way it stings, because he’s a damn good actor and she’s desperate for it to be real. It’s overwhelming, and she’s tired, and she just wants to go home, but where even is that anymore? Certainly not at the house, where she’s treated like absolute garbage, and has been for the better part of two years.

“Lily?” he asks, running his hands through his hair, making it even messier than usual, and Lily wishes it could all just stop.

“I think I’m having a panic attack,” she says, and realisation dawns upon James’ face. It doesn’t take long for him to go into full-blown nurse mode. It’s not unusual for Lily to keel over with anxiety. Now that he has a name for it, he knows how to deal with it—he’s done so before.

“Lily,” he starts, slower this time, “breathe with me, okay? We’ll count to ten.” In and out, in and out. “You’re doing great, I’m right here.”

She closes her eyes and does as she’s told, and eventually her head stops spinning and she clings onto James like he’s her only lifeline. “Thank you,” she croaks out, and he shakes his head and assures her that it was no problem.

“How can I help?” James asks, carefully sitting next to her. Lily shrugs, at a complete loss about what to do. He is, too, until an idea pops into his head, except it’s coming from a place of wishful thinking, and so ridiculous that he doesn’t know if he should share it.

Lily, of course, notices. “What is it?” she asks, biting her lip so hard it could bleed.

“We could… um…”

“Yes?” she prods.

“We could practice,” James coughs. “For when she’s around.” He can feel his flaming hot cheeks burn, but when he sees the way Lily’s shoulders relax and her eyes light up, it’s worth it.

“You don’t have to do that, James,” she tells him, in the quietest little voice. It’s sweet, and somewhat hoarse, and he’s oh so very attracted to her.

“I don’t mind.”

She bites her lip again. “Are you sure?”

“Of course. Besides,” he presses, “it’s not like we’ve never done it before.”

That was true. They’d been about fourteen at the time. It had been right after school, and they were bored out of their wits and wanted to get it over with.

“So there’s no reason for it to be awkward,” Lily replies, excitement starting to bubble in her stomach.

“None at all.”

“That’s great.”

James nods. “I’m going to kiss you know.”

And so he does.

 v.

It’s been two months since the beginning of their charade. Neither of them have been able to sleep, the fact that this is only a ruse tugging at their brains, ripping at their insides. It didn’t take much to convince Petunia, to be honest. She just… walked in on one of their practice sessions and that was it. That, of course, only meant that now they absolutely had to keep it going.

Besides, it’s not like they can fake-break up to get it off their backs. No, Petunia’s annoying as is, it simply wouldn’t do to add fuel to the flame. They’re too young to be prey.

It’s the beginning of March and they’re back in his room, the colourful walls mocking their shared misery. In the midst of the strained silence, Lily hears James mutter, “I can’t do this.”

“Huh?”

“This,” he says, this time a little louder, gesturing to the space between the two of them. “I can’t keep this up anymore.”

He wouldn’t. He can’t. No.

“It was your idea!” she counters, panic starting to cloud her vision. She’s desperate, scared out of her wits that this is their downfall. She can’t lose him too, not him, she’s lost so much already.

“Yeah well,” he starts, and Lily notices how he looks about to burst, “I thought I could ignore my feelings, but I guess not, uh—“ his mouth clamps shut. He’s said too much, and there’s no turning back now.

“What is that supposed to mean?” Lily asks, the tiniest hint of hope flaring up inside her, and she’s trying to contain it, because it’s likely that she only heard him wrong, but she can’t. She can’t and it’s taking over.

“I’m in love with you.” It’s Earth-shattering. “I’m in love with you, and I can’t deal with it anymore. I can’t stand not knowing what’s real and what’s not, or if there’s anything real at all, because—fuck I wish it was, all of it—“

Suddenly, her body is flush against his. Their lips are tangled together and she’s prodding his mouth open, and it’s desperate, really, the way he’s clinging to her back and she to his neck.

And then, they slow down, and it soon becomes more laughter and smiling and teeth-clashing-against-teeth than actual kissing, but it’s fine, really, because now Lily has her answer. This, right here.

This was home.