#i wish i had more energy and power to give love to my beloved 4* and 5*

[arkiwii]

dear people in the Arknights community who are obsessed about One Specific Low Rarity Operator that barely has any content: i love you so much and i kiss you with the tongue

[ss-shitstorm]

Hey I know you’ve probably already been asked this but what type of chemistry do you use for breaking bread like biochem and where did you learn this or have any book recommendations to pick it up? Also ty in advance I love your writing!!💕💕

oh my fucking god. oh my god. buddy. buddy you have made my fucking LIFE ASKING THIS OH GOD

So like, most of the chemistry I've used so far has just been Genchem and O Chem(with a wee few modifications to make it believable as a Cybertronian discipline, like Transformium being able to hold 4 bonds like Carbon but preferentially forming bonds w metals and needing an EMP pulse to interact w more electronegative atoms) I may wind up needing to get into a bit of Inorganic chemistry, but that's probably fewer and further in between. If you want a better handle on the stuff I'm writing or if you just want to learn more in general, then I'd recommend giving yourself a lil crash course in Genchem and then delving into O chem a bit more extensively (protip : you need WAY less Genchem then you'd think to fully understand O chem. God I wish someone had told me this 5 years ago. If you search "Genchem for non majors", you'll probably learn enough that way.)

THAT SAID : here's a chaotic, not really in any order list of the books/youtube channels/etc that I've directly used/am using for this fic.

Books :

Caveman Chemistry, Kevin R Dunn - Alot of hands-on old timey historical chemistry lessons w detailed instructions on how to complete them.(YOU GET TO MAKE YOUR OWN ASPIRIN AND DRAIN CLEANER!) Delivered with a delightfully occult bend.

Back To basics,(Reader's Digest) - Survivalist homesteading bible. Not strictly chemistry but has alot of earthy hippy ways of generating energy( biofuels my beloved)

An Introduction to Fire Dynamics, Dougal Drysdale - Honestly this, and any other firefighting manuals are worth their weight in gold for figuring out how to not set yourself and your neighborhood on fire while playing with, well, fire. Trying to look this info up online is like playing russian roulette with intentional misinformation and your fbi guy.

(there's another book I have that's even more detailed but I can't find it right now or remember the name. I'll update this list when I can!)

Organic Chemistry, John Mcmurray 8th edition : generic but good college O chem textbook. You can search around and find free versions to download relatively easily.

The Organic Chem Lab Survival Manual, James W Zubrick - Also a very good way to learn how to not set yourself and your neighborhood on fire when playing with glassware/gases. Very in-depth instructions on setting up and using lab equipment without breaking anything or your brain. Has a fuckton of pictures. Author has a massive sense of humor and makes this heavy subject easy to read. Again, easy to download/find in archives

Unfortunately I do not have any recommendations for Genchem books. I mostly used free online courses like Khan Academy to learn what I did.(I would def. recommend them though)

Youtube Channels :

The Organic Chemistry Tutor : Dude puts everything from reaction mechanisms to retrosynth problems down in the simplest possible terms. Does not beat around the bush with euphemisms or stories, gets right to business. If you have trouble paying attention, or lose your mind when a professor goes off on a tangent, this man is your savior. I have crippling unmedicated ADHD and no STEM background whatesoever and this man still managed to teach me 2 separate ways to execute a Gabriel Synthesis

Nile Red : World's most inefficient and most powerful wizard. I am not entirely convinced he's human. Does shit like turning plastic gloves into drinkable grape soda or making sweeteners out of his own piss and somehow makes it explainable to trash goblins like me who only need the science for warlord pussy.

again, anon, holy shit thank you so much. Like you wouldn't believe the amount of damage you've just undone. i have been beating myself into a pulp and spiraling into anxiety about this fic an trying to do everything right and you've given me enough moxie to fuel me for at least the next 10 chapters. If you have any more questions or more specific questions, please do not hesitate to ask! I can't guarantee I can answer them, but damnit I'll try. Take care and happy learning you funky lil moonbean.

[beautifulsnake2162020]

Higher Intervention: Aemond x FemReader (House of the Dragon x Sandman fanfic) Part 7

Disclaimer: This is a fanwork to show appreciation for the intellectual properties used. I also haven’t read Fire and Blood and most if not all that I know is from the TV show.

Gif by jjangredpanda

Premise: Alys Velaryon, older twin sister of Jace Velaryon is the only member among Rhaenyra’s children whom Aemond cannot completely hate. As their love story progresses, a newer and larger threat complicates things and reveals discoveries that neither the greens or the blacks had ever imagined.

If you wish to read the previous parts (which I recommend you do if you haven’t read them yet):

Part 1 / Part 2/ Part 3/ Part 4/ Part 5 / Part 6

Taglist (comment down below if you want to be included): @winxschester @memento-mora @mxrgodsstuff

Also tagging:

@lady-phasma @aemonds-war-crime @adderess @princeaemonds because some of their ideas of Aemond have undoubtedly influenced my work.

Darkness.

Nothingness.

You forgot how suffocating it could be.

But somehow you find yourself being one with it.

How odd that you still have your thoughts even though you have died.

You feel light amidst this dark nothingness.

You feel so light that you just feel that you need to move.

Somehow some way you feel that the more you move - though you did not have a form - the more a spark inside of you was made.

Eventually that spark lead to a fire coming from inside you.

Heat

Energy

Yes

Energy

You feel the energy spread out from you the more you move.

Soon because of your movements, what once was simply darkness and nothingness now served to show the different spots and streaks of energy you've left behind. Soon you feel tired from playing around in the vast darkness. A darkness that has been balanced by the little splots of energy that you've made.

In your stillness you gaze out as you see what you've done. It looked like what the stars, planets, and other heavenly bodies appear. You were astonished by their beauty. They filled and balanced the vast darkness. It wasn't that the darkness was bad, but it can be overwhelming. Still you can't believe such beauty emerged from your random movements.

As you continue to be still and gaze in wonder at what you've unintentionally created, you begin to feel another change from some of the energies you've left behind. It was still energy, but there was something special about it. Not only did it seem to have more energy or more movement...it seemed to be calling for you.

You move toward it as you feel yourself reaching out to the special energy. So eager, so scared...so full of life...so complex...and yet so simple...

You feel yourself become one with this special type of energy. It was taking over your entire being. As you feel yourself becoming more powerful, you also feel the Universe supporting you, and giving you form. And yet it is not fixed but also yours to wield with the help of your newfound powers. Soon it was finished and you somehow find your way into the meadow.

The meadow in the realm of the Sandman.

And soon you see him and his wife - both looking at you with joy and delight.

"See beloved, she has now come into her power."

"You know me Morpheus, I couldn't help it."

You feel yourself running towards them and ending up embracing both as they hug you back.

"Congratulations my darling."

"Is...is this real?"

"It is very real." She says as she pulls you for another tight embrace. It was when she releases you that you noticed your hands - or rather your entire being - is glowing.

"It feels different, doesn't it?" The Sandman says. So his wife calls him Morpheus. Something inside you says it was a preferred nickname. If your encounter with the Seven and the Sandman has taught you anything, it's that divine beings can have many names.

"Is this how you and everyone else feels? Fueled by energy and - and life force?" He chuckles softly at you.

"Similar, but not identical to yours. It seems you have found your domain."

"My domain?"

"Yes, my darling." His wife says in excitement. But she calms herself down as she puts her hands on your shoulders.

"Be still for a moment. Close your eyes, remember what was it that called you. This is how you will know your name."

"My name? But I am -"

"My darling, we will always know you by that. But that part of you...she is already dead, even though you are one and the same." You nod, of course she was right. The only way you were able to be who you are now was if you first had died in your human life.

You become still.

You close your eyes.

You remember the energy.

Then the special energy that calls you.

So vibrant, so complex, so simple...

so alive.

Alive.

What a concept it is to live.

Even if it may not always be what you want it to be.

You feel yourself open your eyes.

At first you were confused as to why your surroundings have changed.

Where did Morpheus and his wife go?

You wanted to go back to their warm and comforting embrace. You felt safe there. Safe to be yourself and who you are.

"You're still upset with me."

You turn to a glowing ethereal feathered serpent. Fiery reddish orange all over.

This was you.

That was your voice.

You recognize it somehow.

This was a memory.

What you experienced before - that was also a memory too. You're sure now because you in your glowing feathered snake form was confident and at home with her powers and her being.

"I disagree with your punishment, but I also understand where you are coming from."

You turn to see another ethereal feathered serpent. This time green or rather it was a beautiful blend of "Kastra" colors that blended his body and his feathers.

"Quetzalcoatl, my love, it seems you do not truly understand what it is to be human."

"Of course I do. Among all my family and peers I seem to be alone in loving humans." He slithers and intwines himself to you in a way that was similar to human cuddling.

"Your one day of being human does not count. You would have had more ground for your argument if you didn't commit suicide soon after realizing what you and your sister, Quetzalpetlatl, had done."

"I was filled with grief and remorse."

"It was a mistake, yes, but neither of you were in your right mind. That's what happens when people indulge in too much pulque. Plenty of errors have been committed by people who have indulged too much, but suicide is not the first thing people do after realizing their mistakes while inebriated."

"What are you trying to say?"

You see yourself slither out of his form as you turn to face him.

"Spend more time among them. I don't mind you disagreeing with my decision to give the man gradually more energy until he finds himself to be always restless, but you need to stop thinking that humans are simply at the mercy of anything their environment throws at them. There's more nuance than that. That man had broken my laws by trying to put Divine life force on things that were long dead and have already become one with the environment in many ways."

"You didn't care that he stole the Divine life force from us?"

"I do, but that part is under your jurisdiction. I'm not about to usurp that."

He thinks for awhile before giving you a nod.

"Would you mind accompanying me?"

"Of course, who else is going to be your guide? A lot has changed, and I like to believe that I am young enough to make sure you don't get lost in the changes that were made so far."

You see yourself allow him to once again intwine himself around you. The two of you were cuddling once again but this time with more certainty.

"Then let us be human together."

Strong winds suddenly surrounded you and made you dizzy.

Once it all stopped you were in a different environment.

A different memory.

This time you were once again re-enacting it in the body of your past self.

It was the sunset, as shown in the window.

You and Robert were simply laying with each other watching it descend.

This was to be his last sunset.

It was beautiful; it was bittersweet; it was the course of life.

"I want to tell you that you could still change your mind. But knowing you, you wouldn't like it."

He kisses your forehead as you snuggle closer to him.

"Even if I didn't volunteer for it I don't have much time left. I've seen others of my kind and species spend their last days not being themselves. I would rather die with my full self intact and not a destructive shadow of who I once was." True, a vampire no longer in their prime and slowly descending into death was more destructive for everyone involved. Or at least that was the case with lesser vampires, vampires who were born human before becoming a vampire. Greater vampires in the same species were those who were born as vampires.

But even they would expire once they've outlived all of the humans.

"I am thankful for our marriage. I was worried that you would reject me - after all I was just a fan of your performances."

"Oh come now, you were there because you managed to get a free ticket, then you promised to compose for the company owner for a chance to meet me."

"Very well - a very well connected fan." You both laugh at this for awhile before you both get up as the sun descends.

It was time.

But still just a little bit more.

"Thank you - thank you Robert." You press your forehead against his,

"Thank you, Jessamy."

Jessamy? That was your name?

Jessamy Rizmon

So familiar yet unfamiliar.

It's been awhile since you've heard that name. Or hear anyone refer to you as that name...For a long while you've known yourself as Alys Velaryon...

...and something else.

V...

Vi...

"Thank you Robert, for being my first love."

"Thank you for being my last." You two share one last kiss, before you head out.

He was among the vampires who has volunteered to drink the nuclear waste. Once all of it was cleaned out, they would be staked and burned to avoid further contamination.

You'd rather not watch him die, as far as you know these were going to be your last few moments together.

Suddenly you find yourself on front of the fireplace.

The fireplace in your dream bedroom.

It feels like you've been staring intently at the flames for awhile now.

You make a few slow movements to relieve your body.

It didn't feel like a memory this time. You stand to stretch yourself even more - yes, no longer a memory that you were immersed in. You were back in your present.

Which means you were still very much alive and the Stranger for some reason didn't take you.

"She thought that I was the Stranger - she thought that she was going to die."

"Aemond if you don't move aside then the Stranger will come to take her sooner than we want."

Aemond? Helaena? You were pretty sure you didn't intentionally think to hear them say that. Wasn't this supposed to be your dream?

"She's getting colder - her pulse is still there but it seems to be slowing down your grace."

"Aemond, please step aside - the Holy women and her friends have arrived."

"And how are they going to help? We already have all the maesters here and they've been working relentlessly for the past 2 days - what difference does it make?"

"Step aside nephew. I only let you carry her because I know you don't have the balls to kill any of her fucking abusers -"

"You have no idea what I would do -"

"She's still my daughter. I would rather have the Holy women treat her than any of these fucking maesters."

"YOU TWO! Please we don't have time. I'll be damned if my granddaughter dies before me. That's another death that I cannot take. The more we squabble like this the closer she is to death! Aemond, my boy I know you also care for her, let them help. The maesters have done everything they can."

"Am I doing this?"

"No." You hear the Sandman - Morpheus, say from behind you.

"You are in another coma, and your body is working hard to keep you alive."

"I...I thought I had died already. And the Stranger was supposed to deliver me for judgment."

"Fortunately you were just heavily exhausted. What made you believe that you have died?"

You and he go and sit at the couch.

And you do your best to describe what you experienced. Or rather what you've already experienced and how powerful, connected, and near omnipresent you felt. Like you could suddenly feel and connect with any energy - particularly special life force energy - in the universe. But it was also almost overwhelming that you were glad that you currently didn't feel such sensation.

"And then you and your wife was waiting for me in the meadow nearby the castle. We embraced - and I noticed that my entire being was glowing. Oh and also she called you 'Morpheus'"

"One of my many names. It's her favorite name of mine."

"Don't worry Prince Aemond, we'll take care of her - acolyte! Get into position. You'll be guiding the fire to me."

"Yes Priestess Kara!"

"Ser Ion, Ser Arari, they may watch but only the two of you may assist us. I repeat to all of you, do not interfere if you want her to live. Are we clear your grace?"

"Yes...yes Prophet Agnes."

"One last thing - make sure not to touch her from this point on. You may look, you may even feed fuel to the fires, but do not touch her. Not only will you risk the healing process, but you will also be burned. Even if we are certain of our abilities the outcome is still uncertain and every care must be taken."

"We...we understand mystic Reyna. Please - please save my daughter."

Your heart breaks as you hear your mother plead.

"I'm not surprised that even they are involved in this." The Sandman says as he seems to have a revelation - a familiar revelation - when he hears the voices of the Holy women.

"You know them?"

"In a way."

"What do you mean?"

"I know of them, I know when to go to them, but I remain cautious of them." How ominous.

"Then why are they helping me? If they have an ulterior motive then why?"

"Don't pretend you also don't have one in wanting the succession dispute to be over. Without that threat you could be free to travel around and explore to your heart's delight without fearing of being in exile." His point was made even more poignant as he looked into your eyes.

"Besides, their ulterior motive is to comply with the design of destiny."

"Destiny?"

"Yes. Think of them as the ambassadors of Destiny's design."

"I refuse to believe that everything is pre-determined for me."

"Think of Destiny's design as a map marked with the locations you are going to visit. How you get there is up to you. Sometimes those three could play around with it - make the journey quicker, slower, mundane, exciting, or anything in between. But it is still up to you and how you respond to get to such destination. Even though you may not always be aware of where you are headed."

You suddenly feel a warmth spreading throughout you.

Feeding you.

Cleansing you.

Healing you.

"My advice to you is to make sure that you don't actively make them angry or upset with you. I have first hand experience of the consequences and I would rather you avoid it. You have their favor so far since they are now active players in your journey as the three Holy women. But do note that just like them and just like yourself there are others now involved."

"Others?"

"Other beings like yourself, like the Holy women, and like the Seven."

He must mean others with some amount of power, divine power. From what you've gathered from your memories it seems that before you were born as Alys Velaryon, you were a divine being.

After all how else can you explain how you bonded with the energy and the universe? What would normally kill a mortal or any other living thing instead feeds you and calls to you. Even the special life force energy itself has different aspects of it - roughly speaking a mortal aspect and the divine aspect.

Divine life force.

"How? How is it not cremating her?"

"Come here, Prince Lucerys - yes right here by my side - this is a safe distance to observe. As you've seen earlier we have prayed and placed a healing spell on her. Now do you see what the fires are doing?"

That was the Mystic Reyna speaking. You imagine she guides Luce to the answer he is looking for.

"It's ...it's dancing on her skin?"

"Yes, my prince. Do you notice how it's gently going inside her scars?"

"Yes."

"The flames - these sacred flames blessed by the Red God - they both feed her and cleanse her. We will know when it's finished because the flames will become the common color red."

"Oh?"

"I'll take it from here Mystic Reyna. Prince Lucerys is not the only one confused. Now that all we need to do is feed the sacred fires surrounding her as it treats and heals her we now have time to explain."

"Very well Priestess."

"From the look on yours and everyone else's faces, you were all confused why we made the flames violet before guiding it all over her body, yes?"

"Well yes - I thought it was just because it's the main color she currently wears."

You hear the priestess giggle a little before responding again.

"Actually Prince Lucerys, there are many colors of fires that exist. The common red or reddish yellow flames are actually the coolest temperature for fires. This violet flames on the various couldrons and portable fire pits surrounding her are the hottest temperature for fires that exist. And because it's hotter than any common fire you're more likely to get worse burns than when the fire is the common red. The hotter the temperature of the flames, the more energy it has, and the cooler the temperature, it has less."

"That's .. really interesting priestess."

"Thank you Princess Rhaena, now the healing prayer and the healing spell guide the fire to heal her. Since she's in one of the worse cases I've seen anyone in and she was close to dying, we needed to use the violet flames to intensely heal her. Of course it's still on a case to case basis, but since we were losing her quite quickly we decided to use the most certain tool we have. As her body gradually heals and gets better, the temperature of the fires will begin to cool because it will not need as much energy to help her. The color of the flames will indicate this. From violet it will turn white. From white it will turn blue, then green, yellow, orange, and then the common red. Hope and pray that the fires turn red. We will all be personally watching over the flames since this is a very special case. I'll be taking the first vigil for tonight as the one who lead the healing work. Acolyte you shall stay here with me to make sure the fire sources have fuel."

"Of course priestess."

"Can some of us stay with you Priestess."

"Princess Baela, if you stay with me then you shall obey whatever it is that I tell you."

"I will."

"Baela you need to sleep."

"Jace I can rest later, I wasn't allowed to join the rescue, please let me help her this way."

That explains why you're now feeling more warmth, and nourished. Nourishment from energy.

Energy.

Wait.

"Something's happening!"

"It's another memory."

"But-but"

"You'll be fine. Just call me."

And with that you were brought into another memory. You hope it's one of the good ones.

You find yourself in a banquet. Or rather it appears to be a banquet but really it's a private gathering that you were invited to.

"Right this way my lady, the both of them had been expecting you." A handmaiden guides you as you both travel to a private place. An indoor garden filled with cool ventilation and the comforts afforded from having it indoors. The food was plentiful and the fountain - the fountains, you mentally corrected yourself - was filled with drinks. The main fountain at the center was filled with drinkable water while the other two were filled with wine and milk.

Up ahead were two figures being...well.

"It seems you two have forgotten that I was invited?" The two women break their kiss and intimate embrace. One of them you remember was the one you called "Mera" and had the classic Valyrian features of having silvery white hair and violet eyes. The other woman had golden hair, but still blonde. She didn't have the violet eyes but her skin was practically gold made flesh. Even some of the battle scars that you could see were made more alluring and attractive. You weren't surprised that this could be the case for her, what mortals deemed ugly or horrific she made it look alluring.

"You know you could join us, Glaesēt mōrqitta." The golden lady said smiling unabashedly not bothering to fix her dress that revealed her left breast that Mera was in the process of removing. Mera, while not embarassed at being caught unaware fixed it for her.

"She's right Glaesēt, what can we do to convince you?"

"Hmm maybe ask me another time when I need it. I know you both are just teasing me."

"It's not a tease Glaesēt, Meraxes and I are both quite fond of you."

"Vhagar you are the God of war and sex, surely you must already sense that Quetzalcoatl has already satisfied me." At this the golden lady - Vhagar laughs and pats on the spot beside her.

"Quite true Glaesēt. Mera, next time we should ask before her flying serpent visits her."

"You should be informing me when she's alone and frustrated raqiarzy."

"Out of curiosity you two - how does the God of the Heavens feel about this? Isn't he also a war deity?"

"We overlap. He was mainly worshipped when wars were still more akin to raids. But because there is no way to distinguish the two he is still considered a war deity. I govern war in it's ugliness, it's raw power, the desire to fight for the people you love and the violence it entails - that is what I govern. It's also why it's actually complementary to my other domains of love, sex, fertility, and justice."

"And political power."

"We overlap there ñuhe jorrāeliarza, but you are better at it than I am. It's why I argued and fought for you to be our Queen."

"Don't underestimate yourself raqiarzy, why do you think I made sure you were my head guard in times of peace?"

"Are you two sure you still want me here? Shouldn't you be enjoying officially being married to each other and being each other's consorts?" You tease as you drank a large cup of divine milk. It wasn't long ago when the God of the Heavens himself practically made various events happen just so these two would finally admit their feelings for each other. From how you understood their system, he and Meraxes were rulers because they were believed to be the best deities for the job. They were attracted enough to each other to marry and occasionally lay with each other, but it was a job more than anything else. Since polygamy was allowed both ways with some parameters, it wasn't really an issue when either side also married other people.

"Issa Glaesēt, it's about my son, Balerion it seems he needs your help."

"My help? In what? Enough people are currently thinking and believing in him. He's still a minor God but nevertheless -"

"He has problems with his powers. We know that it might have something to do with energy but we don't know which kind. We were thinking maybe you could help him with that?" Ah, you see now.

"Sure, where is he?"

"Probably in the library. But he'll be so intent with his studies with an impatience of almost speeding through with what he reads that I'm not quite sure he really absorbed what he has read. I'll introduce the two of you later at dinner. For now let's catch up. Tell Vhagar and I more about this um what do you call 'home dimension'?"

The memory ends but you recall it was indeed one of the good memories you've had. And how it was now one of the most precious few that you now hold dear.

Something happened.

Something related to the Doom of Valyria.

You couldn't put a finger on it but it felt like a mystery you needed to solve.

Because somehow you were responsible for it. You don't know how but your instincts were telling you this.

As you return to the present, now lying in a comfortable outdoor bed which had the frame of a swing, you wonder how Aemond would react if he found out that his dragon was named after a God of war, sex, fertility, love and who was also the wife, head guard and main consort of Meraxes the Queen of the Valyrian Pantheon. He would probably raise his eyebrow, think you were making it up and would need some sort of evidence to prove it.

It was fine, you enjoyed this part being yours alone for now.

"Alys."

Oh

It's him.

"I don't know if you can hear me. But here I am, holding a vigil for you as the sacred fire continues to heal you. The Prophet Agnes is watching me. Even though I am whispering, I still feel she could hear every word I say."

You wonder what time it was in the waking world. You know how time works differently in dreams. Right now the sun was up but the rays didn't burn your skin since you were under a canopy as you relaxed in this swinging bed. A respite from the influx of memories you've had.

"Where do I begin? I must admit for awhile I hated you for what you've done. How dare you suffer for the sins of your brothers? How dare you claim to be the one who encouraged me to claim Vhagar as my own? How dare you say that you are the cause of our quarrels?! Nobody, not our family, the nobles, the smallfolk, or anyone else - nobody believed that you have committed those sins. Tell me Alys, did you know how much your screams and cries gave me more sleepless nights more than I can remember? How for awhile it didn't seem to matter whether it was just a nightmare or remembering how much they whipped you and how your back was bleeding heavily in several streams? Did you know how much I wanted to kill the lead septon when he refused to let you go? Did you know that I began to thirst for the day when I would make them regret all the suffering they have inflicted on you?"

He pauses to gather himself. You begin to hear not only pain in his voice, but brokeness, helplessness, and powerlessness.

"Did you know how much pain you have caused our family? You must have, how else...why else would you have made yourself to be the villain? The most innocent person in this family who wanted to resolve this crisis...Hah- You..."

He's struggling.

This isn't like him.

If anyone was struggling it should be you.

He's the one who was always composed, always witty, always ready.

You hear him sigh before he continues.

"You...have done what I couldn't do. You have done what I thought was impossible...You forced this family, from the King to your second brother, you have forced us to be honest with each other. To finally treat the wounds I thought would just stay there. All of us, from both sides went to the High Septon, and together with another Septon they mediated us. I don't know who this other Septon is, but he was really good in seeing what was hurting all of us."

He sighs as he takes time to gather himself once again.

"It took awhile - it took too long. It wasn't perfect but it was a start. It was painful, it was hard, but hearing your screams and seeing you carry the metal post of the seven pointed star without anyone to help you...remembering how fast the Septa placed that thorn choker around your neck that caused your first cry of pain...For the first time in a long time I felt like powerless. I never felt this way since I claimed Vhagar as my own."

It breaks your heart to hear his voice breaking. But a part of you knew this was necessary in order for him to truly heal.

"Did you know that growing up I also envied you?"

Oh? This was new.

"I was jealous at how content you were - even if your dragon egg also didn't hatch just like mine. I was numb, I felt like I was simply a body moving in the world meant to be forgotten, when you were alive, daring,bold. While I hid and buried myself desperately in my studies to be better than everyone, you buried yourself with me because you had a thirst to know more. I had always saw them as tools, you had always saw them as another star shining a light in the darkness of the world...And I always wondered why I couldn't simply be content like you? Do you know how many nights I wished that it was I who would bring color to your world just like how you did with mine? Hah...but then again your world was already quite colorful. Growing up I thought that you chose to ignore the dark realities. How you focused so much on the importance of dreams, the ideal world, even when it was so out of reach...It's now that I realized that you didn't ignore them - no, you chose to use them to make the world better. To make the impossible happen."

You wish you could reach out to him. But you know you couldn't. He cannot depend on you what is his alone to heal. You could help, offer some sort of comfort, but true healing must come from him.

You couldn't believe you were starting to sound similar to everyone around you. Maybe there was some truth about how interfering would only hinder the growth of a person.

"Prince Aemond, the mystic Reyna has arrived. I suggest you go to bed and rest."

"I think I prefer to stay here."

"And do you think she would want that? To have you deprive yourself of rest when she has sacrificed so much just for the in fighting to stop?"

A moment of silence passed.

"There is still so much that I need to tell her."

"That can wait till you have rested. She'll still be here. And look, the flames are now changing color into white. The violet color is now only at the very edges but the core of it is undoubtedly white. She's healing."

"How long?"

"Hm?"

"How long will it take before the flames turn red?"

"Even I don't know that answer your Highness. It had taken nearly a week from when we started to see this progress on the flames. Even fires when they are healing can be unpredictable."

You sit up from your swinging bed as you think over his words. A part of you feels embarassed at not believing that it was actually him. You begin to ask yourself why he went along with it and allowed himself to be your last confessor? Maybe it was out of pity - you were clearly high on whatever drugs they gave you. It was difficult discerning what was real, what was your own imagination, and what was vivid hallucinations.

Perhaps...perhaps it was meant to be this way. Had you known it was really him you're not sure if you could so easily make that last confession. Maybe through his questions it was also his chance to know why you allowed yourself to go through all this pain and suffering.

You have hope that from the bits and pieces you've heard, the High Septon and his companion septon managed to mediate and at least start healing the wounds that have gone too long untreated. Too long have they only made any pain worse and risk putting the realm through turmoil. This was the key. This is what you and the White Worm were hoping would happen. There was hope in your heart that the risk of your suffering was finally paying off. Had they rescued you without the High Septon's approval, it would make things even worse. Like what the lead septon of the Faith Militant said, this was not a matter of politics but a matter of faith. To kill off or to even attack the Faith Militant without some sort of approval or decree from the High Septon releasing you from further 'purification' would be religious persecution of one of the biggest religious groups in the realm. And that kind of attack - even if it was on the more radical branch of the religion and not the main religious branch in itself - would turn plenty of the small folk and some within the nobility and gentry to turn against the crown. Since there was still a succession crisis and no firmly resolved solution yet, this is the last thing either side would want.

You hear footsteps running toward you with huffing and puffing. And before you know it Gregory was now beside you on the swinging bed.

"Borf"

"I missed you too little boy."

He lies down beside you as you turn to your side as you begin petting his fluffy back.

"Hungry?" The Sandman's wife asks as she settles herself on the nearby table with a picnic basket.

"A little bit."

She nods as she begins taking out food from the picnic basket.

"Do you remember what this is?" She shows you a plate filled with colorful circular things. One of them has what looks like a fried shrimp tail peeking out.

"Wait..." You close your eyes as you now actively search or call your memory of that food from your mysterious consciousness.

A brief scene appears in your mind. It was a long break and you, the Sandman, his wife, and four other people - two women and two men - were in a restaurant. The food was on the expensive side but because it was so good and well made it was understandable why. Instead of knives and spoons you were instead given two metal sticks which was narrowed down on one side. The server places these same exact food right on front of you and you remember thinking how it wouldn't take long for you to finish them.

"...I think it's Ebi Tempura rolls? Sushi?"

"Yes! That's right. I'm actually surprised you know remember their specific name. I would have accepted 'sushi' as an answer."

"Is it another one of my favorites?"

"Yes, sometimes we would tease how that's when we know how hungry you are. If you were really hungry you could finish two batches of these - and one batch has eight rolls."

"Woof"

"No Gregory you may not have these, this is for Alys."

"Woof woof."

"I can't recall the name of the stick utensils - I know it starts with a 'C'."

"Do you remember how to use them?" She asks after making dogfood appear as she places it on the ground for Gregory.

"Mm let me try holding it." She gives you a pair and as you touch it a memory appears.

"No, Renée you hold the chopsticks like this." You say as you teach a boy, one of the boys that have also appeared in the restaurant memory, how to use them. This time however he was a lot younger and was undoubtedly a little boy.

"First stick is held in the space between the thumb and the pointer finger and then you use your ring finger. The second stick is held like a pencil."

"Can't I just use a fork?"

"We're going into a Japanese restaurant there are no forks there."

"I bet they do!"

"They don't"

"Nuh - uh -"

"Children."

The memory ends with the voice of the Sandman's wife with a warning tone.

"Chopsticks? Am I right?" She smiles at you as she hands you a plate of the Ebi tempura sushi.

"You are, at this rate I have faith that you'll remember who you are sooner than you think."

"I don't know about that. I'm still trying to understand my memories. I know enough that I must be a supernatural being myself. Being close friends with Queen Meraxes and her wife Vhagar the God of war and sex among other passions was what enlightened me in this. I assume my former lover Quetzalcoatl is also a divine being. I've seen how he slithers and embraces me in my serpent form. If I am able to have a form like that and feel how malleable I must be, I now wonder if this is the source of my powers? The powers that have made me more cautious about who I reveal secrets to. The same powers that have been a nuisance for awhile because for most of my life as a young lady I did not know how to control them and yet they came to me so suddenly."

She gives you a soft yet approving smile as she picks up one of the sushi slices - Salmon sashimi, your memory says - before eating it up with her own chopsticks.

"You have now answered one of your own questions. And finally I can give you some clarification." You give her a pointed look.

"I was right?"

"Mostly. You are right - your powers involving control over various different energy sources are indeed from your being. They came to you as your mortal body - or more accurately your mortal shell - changed into maturity. However this is only a small fraction of your power."

"Huh? Why?"

"Simple, there is only so much a mortal body can take. This is by the design of the Universe for anything alive. There is a balance that must be maintained in order for life to continue to thrive. It is when this balance is no longer feasible that it ends. The powers you have now at your disposal are within the parameters that will not immediately kill your mortal body."

"So...what you're saying is that for me to go back to the being I once was...for me to gain access to all of my powers...I must die?"

"It is not a 'must' but 'when' . While you are indeed slowly realizing and remembering who you are, this is not your goal. Otherwise what would be the point in having you reborn temporarily as a mortal?"

She had a point. Why would you - a being who is already an immortal - be bothered to be reborn as a mortal if it's simply to know more about yourself? If that was the case then why bother being and living as a mortal at all? There must be something else.

"May I ask...how do you know all this? I'm starting to realize that the Sandman's domain and powers involve dreams since this is how you two talk to me and how you let other supernatural beings talk to me. Is your domain balance? The balance of the Universe." She chuckled lightly at you but it wasn't mocking.

"In a way yes, I'm waiting for a little bit more memories for you to remember but you are on the right path. Once you remember who I am to you, it will become very obvious. I have a theory that once you either remember your name or our relationship then everything will become a lot more faster." You think back to your memory with Meraxes and Vhagar.

They called you "Glaesēt mōrqitta" in High Valyrian.

Endless life force.

"I recently remembered a memory involving myself, Queen Meraxes, and Vhagar her wife and a God of war and passions. They called me 'Glaesēt mōrqitta'. Is that my name? Or is that a translation of my name?"

"Yes it is. Like the Sandman and the Seven you have many names. Glaesēt mōrqitta is one of the more literal translations of your name. That's only the clue I'm giving you."

You nod at her. At least you were now closer than you've ever been previously finding out about yourself.

"Another question...I have this feeling from myself that I might be responsible for the Doom of Valyria. Both times when I have a memory of interacting with the Valyrian deities there is a bittersweetness to them. Inside me I feel guilt and remorse that they are no more and that it was my fault that they perished along with Old Valyria... Am I overthinking it or was there a hint of truth?"

At this her face becomes unreadable but sympathetic.

"In a way, yes you are."

Oh no.

"However, it is still debatable."

"What do you mean debatable?"

"Based from what you have remembered so far, all I can say for now is that you are only one part of it. If anything it shows that in some ways it was inevitable that Old Valyria would fall. Much like a dragon, it died because it didn't know when to stop growing. Until it grew too much that it can no longer hold everything together."

You were about to ask her for a clue when once again you hear voices near your body.

"Good morning, Alys. It's been awhile and you are still laying there slowly being healed. I miss you so much, I wish you would tell me bed time stories again like how you used to do sometimes in Dragonstone."

You wish you could wake up and wrap your arms around Joffrey. Do something to make him laugh. But you were still too weak to even open your eyes just a little bit. You don't need to see him to know that he was tearing up. It was all in his voice.

"I don't know if you know this but your fires are now blue. I think its been five weeks that it remained being white. It was only yesterday when members of the Faith of the Seven would have their weekly gatherings that it finally became blue. Everyone was worried for awhile because the flames only remained white and it seemed like nothing was changing. I'll be honest, I only came to ask if I could meet you in my dreams. I miss playing with you and having you all to myself since I'm not old enough to join our brothers in actually sparring. I'll understand if you're too busy healing yourself - I don't want you to die. I just feel so lonely now more than ever. Everyone is preparing for some fancy counsel - I don't really understand what's going on. They keep saying something about the people's representatives - it's strange grown up things that just puts me to sleep."

"Prince Joffrey, it's time for your morning meal!"

"Thank you Priestess! I'll be there soon. Goodbye Alys I hope you get better soon. I love you so much! OH and your three admirers, Sers Ion, Arari, and Kormy have also been guarding you alongside the Holy Women. So you'll never be lonely like me. Bye for now."

Oh Joffrey.

"It's been 5 weeks already?"

"Time moves differently here in dreams."

"Do you...do you think I could meet him? In his dreams? I also miss him too."

"I think that may be reasonable. We'll have to ask my husband first."

"Um - isn't he here? Couldn't we just call or summon him?" She stands up as she waves her hand and all the now empty cups, plates and utensils disappear.

"Right now he's in his sibling's domain. One of the nicer siblings might I add. At first she may seem eccentric but she means well. This is why neither of us could call or summon him at the moment. He did promise to break bread with her and visit her more often."

"Oh."

"But as his wife and consort I believe it is within my power to help you meet your little brother in his dreams. We just need to check with Lucienne first to make sure it also doesn't hinder your own growth. Come let's go to the library."

"Awo?"

"Haha yes, you too Gregory. Come along."

Aside from your bedroom, the library must be your favorite place in the castle. According to Lucienne the librarian and the Sandman's right hand who takes over running the affairs of the dreaming together with his wife when he is away, every book in existence and every book that has yet to be written is stored within the library.

"Do you think it's too late? Is it dark already by now?"

"Calm down Alys. Your brother Joffrey is not dreaming tonight but simply sleeping." Lucienne says as she checks Joffrey's book from the vast library. Each person has a book about them written and it features everything that has happened so far. But since this felt wrong to peak into simply anyone you know, you sit across Lucienne and the lady as they read it and check other books to confirm what they've read.

"Everything appears to be fine. If Morpheus isn't back before Joffrey has his next dream then I'll personally send you to him. Or would you prefer it if Joffrey came to you?"

"Hmm I think it would be best if we met by the meadows not too far away from here. I still want to keep some parts of myself, well to myself, but I also want to share a few things with him."

"Very well. Would you like Gregory to join you?" As much as you loved playing with him and how right now he is staring at you with his big round puppy dog eyes, maybe for the first meeting should be with you alone.

"Sorry Gregory, but not yet. He doesn't know you yet and I don't want to scare him off. If he wants to meet with me again then I'll introduce the two of you."

"Awo borf!"

"Gregory, listen to Alys."

"You know Alys you can just send him to his bedroom. That way he won't bother you and Joffrey."

"No Lucienne, I'll take care of Gregory for this one. Knowing him he'll just rebel if he doesn't at least watch over what goes on with Alys."

"Very well my lady."

"I think I'll be in my room for awhile. Just call me when he's about to come here."

"Of course darling, you can also rest yourself while waiting. I know how exhausting these influx of memories and actively dreaming can be." She says reassuredly, you thank her and call Gregory to follow you.

It's funny how you don't remember thoroughly exploring this place and yet it seems you know the way back to your bedroom. You settle in your luxurious bed while Gregory sleeps on his own bed close by the fireplace without blocking any paths to the couch and chairs.

You allow yourself to be still and to relax as you feel yourself getting nourished by the sacred fires. So energizing yet calming and soothing at the same time. It was warm enough for you to not need the blanket but it was cool enough to still be comfortable underneath one layer of it.

You don't know how long you rested. But in the waking world some time has definitely passed.

"My dear Alys, I don't know if you can hear me. A lot of us have been talking to you for quite some time. How funny is it that I don't know if all this is in vain...I know I'm not the perfect mother. I know there are many things that you disagree with. Maybe this is why what you've done has given me so much pain. Oh Alys, I'm so sorry for using your brothers so selfishly - you would think that as your mother I should know better."

She gathers herself. You don't know how but you could feel the tears running down her face.

I'm so sorry too mother.

I love you but it needed to be done.

"I...I don't know if anyone else had told you already...but as a tribute to you, the King has ordered your proposed grand counsel to be implemented. It's almost three months ago that your fires have turned from white to blue. Or a darker shade of blue. I ... I can't recall when was the time it changed into a lighter shade of blue. It gave me hope that you are indeed getting better, even if we can't really see it yet. All of us who are going to make our case for being the next ruler of the realm are now preparing our cases with the knowledge that we will all probably end up in the counsel of whomever wins. The chosen representatives of the people from all over the realm are now making their way here along with the lords from all the houses. It is grander than before because as you've designed it's not just the lords anymore but everyone who is a chosen representative of their community."

She takes a moment to gather herself. Even now as you lay there healing, she wishes to show herself as someone you could go to even if she felt so helpless.

"I won't lie, I wish I didn't have to do this. But in some ways you've always been more sharper than me. Seeing things that I am blind to. And if this will be what it takes to finally bring peace, even if it hurts my pride and annoys Daemon...then I'll accept whatever decision the council makes. It's more important that the realm is united rather than divided. Even if it won't be me on the Iron Throne and even if my advice may go unheeded as I sit on their council. Even the King cannot deny the ruler the people would want among us who are going to make their case...I just want to say how proud I am of you for making this change...for making this solution. People think I should hate you for what you've done, but I think it has made me love you even more. Even if you weren't born as my daughter, I'd like to think that I would support this solution. When all this is over...why don't we spend some time together? Just the two of us as mother and daughter. I know it seems I've given almost all my time to Daemon and your siblings - and maybe I have. If you want to travel to Essos and visit the remnants of our Valyrian culture then I shall do my best to make that happen. Maybe as an unofficial diplomat. Unofficial of course because you don't like being tied to politics. And after all that you've done, you more than anyone deserve to be free from that burden."

You couldn't help but smile as tears come down your face.

Your suffering was bearing fruit. You now have more hope that this will put an end to the dispute.

Although it bothered you that the lady hasn't called you to meet Joffrey yet. Maybe he was either not able to dream and had just been having dreamless nights.

"Alys." You open your eyes to see the Sandman and his wife in your room.

"Take your time getting up. Joffrey is going to meet you in the meadow in a few moments."

"Really?"

"Yes, the timing is right. And I am able to create the circumstances for the two of you to meet."

"Oh thank you! Thank you so much."

And meeting him was worth it.

"ALYS!"

"Joffrey!" He runs towards you tumbling both of you on the soft grassy meadows.

"I miss you so much!"

"I missed you too. What's been happening?"

"Your fires turned green today! The priestess says that if the fires manage to turn yellow, then that means you're almost finished. Yellow, then orange, then when it turns red that means its safe enough to remove it and you would wake up soon. Oh and according to father, I grew by this much."

"Oh my that's huge." You say as he shows you a rough estimate of the space between his pointer finger and thumb.

"Uhuh oh and Aemond was chosen to be the next ruler! That's why everyone is making such a big fuss about your fires today. When our whole family visited you, to tell you of the news after the People's minister - a different person from the hand I think - told you the result, right on front of us your fires slowly turned from light blue to green!"

Oh that is a big event. You weren't sure how much time has passed but it must be several weeks if not months at least.

"Joffrey, may I ask how long has it been since the last time my fires have changed?"

"Oh I think it's about six months."

"Six months!?" That was really long. Even the last Great Council was only 14 days long with 13 claimants to the throne.

"Uhuh it was really long even though there were only 3 of them and both mother and Princess Rhaenys are both going to be in his counsel anyway. The new representatives asked a lot of questions and took awhile to decide. But I don't understand, if the losers is still going to be in their counsel anyway, why vie for the Iron Throne? It's scary and you could hurt yourself."

"Oh um well it's there to make sure that the winner doesn't have a big ego like how sometimes I do with Jace."

"Oh" He says wide eyed at you.

"Why did it take 6 months for them to decide?"

"Oh because all three travelled to all parts of Westeros. One of the complaints from the last great council was that none of the claimants actually interacted with the people. And because one of the main things you insisted was that the next ruler should also be chosen by the people that they were going to rule so they needed to travel around first after they have presented their claim. From what Jace told me, the people tell their representatives who they want then their representative votes on who. Can we play now? I'm just confused by all these boring things."

"Hahaha alright, tag you're it."

"HEY!"

"Hahahaha."

You spend the rest of his dream playing tag or hide and seek. And since you were in the realm of dreams, time passed by quickly.

"Wha - what's happening?" He asks as he notices he's starting to fade away.

"You're waking up Joffrey. It's fine, will you tell Aemond congratulations for me?"

"Um okay, I'll try."

"Sometimes that's all it takes."

And then he was gone.

And once again you were alone in the meadows.

Until the Sandman joined you.

"Don't worry, he wants to dream with you again. I'll bring him to you the moment he next sleeps."

"Is it fine though? I wouldn't want to monopolize his dreams. This meeting was enough I feel. I got what I wanted - more than what I wanted. It makes sense that I wouldn't hear everything they tell me because time works differently here."

"It is and I insist. I took the chance to also visit your physical form when your brother Lucerys fell asleep attempting to hold a vigil for you."

"How long ago was this?"

"Not long. About the time you and Joffrey were still playing around. If it's any consolation you're starting to look healthier than when you were first rescued. Your hair is starting to grow back - though I think it would still be too short for your preference. Your muscles and flesh are beginning to be filled once again. You can still see the outline of your bones but it was much prominent before. The wounds that you've obtained have now become scars. You might have to learn how to live with those marks for the rest of your human life."

"...I think they are a good reminder of what I would do or what I am capable of doing and enduring."

"They are - come, my wife wants to show you something."

You arrive at the throne room wherein there was a floating fluid circle on front of his wife. Her back was facing us.

"Come you two - you're just in time."

"In time?" Both of you go to each side of her.

"This is a portal showing what's happening in the Waking World. It doesn't always appear because of the time difference but it was being cooperative right now."

"Which means for now my realm and yours are on the same time and pace."

"Exactly."

"Your realm? I thought since you two were married your realm is also this one made of dreams?"

"In a way I am but it is not my main domain."

"Her domain is much more expansive than this one."

"Since it's safe for you to know this - my realm is actually the waking world. And just like how I am a consort to this one since Morpheus is its ruler, my main domain is everything to do with being alive while you are awake, although that's not the only thing I do. Morpheus is a consort in that dominion of mine and could share in some of my responsibilities just as I help him here."

"Oooh." That's ... actually quite romantic! The Sandman governing the realm of sleep while his wife governs the realm of the waking world.

"Um Aemond." You see little Joffrey accompanied by his nurse. It appears that Aemond was spending time with Helaena and her children.

"Joffrey?" He keeps his voice neutral but questioning. Helaena and her children were there for one and Aemond knows better than doing anything now after all that has happened this far.

"Oh hello Joffrey, would you like to play with us?"

"Um thank you Princess Helaena, but I - I have a strange thing that happened to me. Um..." He takes a breath before turning to face Aemond.

"Alys came into my dreams, she told me to tell you congratulations."

"She did?" It was easy to miss but he was startled before quickly going back to a neutral expression.

"Yes, maybe she was getting annoyed with me always asking her to be in my dreams but she finally appeared last night."

"Well come, tell us more Joffrey." Helaena says as she pats the space in between her and Aemond.

He settles himself more to Helaena's side but still beside Aemond. You couldn't blame him, Aemond could be intimidating to anyone he wasn't close with.

"I don't think she could always hear us when we talk to her. She was asking what happened and she was really surprised to hear that it had been six months already. She didn't even know her fires turned green!"

"Is that so?" Aemond asks as non-threateningly as he can. He was now curious.

"Uhuh when I asked her about it after we played tag and before we played hide and seek, she said that in the realm of dreams time moves differently. She says that the last time she heard anything from outside was from our mother when her fires turned blue. To her it only felt like a few hours ago."

"Oh just like me! One time I dreamt about eating a big piece of cake and that was all I dreamed about and just when I finished eating it I woke up! It felt so short." Jaehaerys says from his spot.

"Yes! It was exactly like that! My dream also felt too short last night." He then turns sheepishly back to Aemond. "Anyway that's all she wanted to tell me to tell you."

"Mmm hmm, I see, thank you Joffrey."

"Why don't you go play with Jaeherys, Jaehaera, and Maelor now."

"Is...is it okay?"

"Yes, it is, go on." After encouragement from Helaena Joffrey then went to play with her children.

"She's still alive."

"You're excited aren't you?"

"Helaena...do you think -"

"If you're going to ask me once again what I think she'll say, you'll have to be patient till the treatment is finished. But knowing her I think she'll forgive you for everything you've done before her 'purification'. The four of you have begun to at least be civil to each other with a common understanding now. That was more than before wherein there was no understanding at all and you were barely civil with each other." Helaena then pauses and she began to mutter.

"For she is what the Gods desire, the desire of the Gods who desires none of them."

"A prophecy?" She nods at him as she continues.

"For she is what the Gods desire, the desire of the Gods who desires none of them. For she is what the Gods desire, the desire of the Gods who desires none of them."

The scene ends and you realize you are about to enter yet another memory.

You were an old lady, and a beautiful woman with a black blouse was sitting beside you.

"Will...will it hurt?"

"You won't feel it. Your body probably will, but you won't feel it." You find yourself looking at her still worried.

"What if? What if I don't become an Endless like the rest of you? What if I simply die?"

"Oh Jessamy." She takes your hand as she massages round circles around it.

"Do you know why your parents named you after Jessamy the raven?"

"I...I think I've forgotten."

"Then let me be the one to remind you. You were named after her because she was the first one with the guts to make them realize after more than a millennia just how much they still loved each other after they stopped talking for awhile because of an argument they've had. They may have taken still a longer, but she was the driving force that made them realized that in themselves."

"Hmph it took awhile before mother learned that her feelings were actually returned and father wasn't just being a gentleman."

"My point is that she was one of the first things that made them change and become better. Your parents saw that in you the moment your mother felt your life from her womb and they rejoiced. Your mother has never had a child that was solely immortal. After all a lot of her functions is made within the mortal shell in each lifetime she has. It was with your father that she allowed herself for the first time to actively use her own powers to ensure that you too would also be a part of the Endless once your human life ended. Was it a risk? Absolutely, you'll be the first one among your siblings. Do we all have faith and hope in you? Absolutely."

"I'm not sure Desire and Aunty Despair also feels that way for me, and Grandfather Destiny probably already knows what would happen but he refuses to say anything."

"Nothing new there."

"But-but what if nothing really does happen and I end up just being a mortal?" She gives you an assuring look.

"If that happens, then I escort you to the Dreaming as per your parent's request." Your slowly beating heart was relieved. You close your eyes as you take your last few breaths.

"Thank you Aunty, I'm ready now." Before you know it you found yourself standing beside her looking at your own corpse.

"Is this - is this what your gift will always feel like?"

"Most of the time, though there are exceptions." You nod at her as you hold her hand. A little girl enters your room, she doesn't see the two of you standing there.

"Grandaunty Jessamy, grandaunty Jessamy my mom made breakfast, grandaunty Jessamy?" She starts shaking your corpse rapidly as she begins panicking.

"MOMMY DADDY!"

"What is it honey?"

"Mommy Grandaunty Jessamy doesn't want to wake up anymore."

"Come Jessamy, let's see what awaits you."

"Okay, before anything happens, I just want to say thank you Aunty." She gives you a warm embrace.

"Come on, let's take you to the Universe now."

Then darkness.

This time this darkness wasn't from your memories.

This darkness was where you are now.

"Mmph."

You feel light shining through, but it wasn't from your powers or anything that you did.

Instinctually you feel your hand remove the crumby little things you would sometimes get after sleeping for awhile.

And then you finally opened your eyes.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: See I told you she wasn't dead. I hope you enjoyed this chapter. I made sure to put in a lot of worldbuilding things to relieve the pain from Part 6:

1.) Ewan Mitchell's interview has been very influential in making this chapter. Aemond's loneliness and mere existence before claiming Vhagar really helped in fleshing him out even more and what differentiates him and Alys when they were children and even up till now;

2.) Speaking of Vhagar, we learn from the same interview that Vhagar is named after a God of War and speaks to her battle experience. I couldn't help but be inspired by multiple Gods of war who are also Gods of sex, love, fertility, and passions in general. Since in part 1 I've already established that Balerion was the only remaining God still worshipped and he was also a war God, I decided to make Vhagar the God of passions in addition to war. This will play a part later on as Alys recovers more of her memories;

3.) The colors of the fires and the healing process is based on a mix of actual science and color light theory (this is fiction so please don't call me out on using pseudoscience);

4.) Again in some ways this (and probably the next one) was more of a filler worldbuilding chapter though it was emotional writing some of the dialogues Aemond, Rhaenyra, and Joffrey were telling Alys. I had to take more breaks in between because I kept crying; and lastly

5.) Glaesēt mōrqitta is not an actual High Valyrian name or word (well except for the "mōrqitta" which means Endless). I was searching almost every term I could think of that could be a synonym for her actual name, but since there is so far no direct translation I just used the prefix word for life "glaes" and combined it with the perfect tense word for force or use "sētan". I have no idea if this is the proper grammar or portmanteau for her actual name in High Valyrian.

Thank you once again for reading and for everyone who supports me.

[xenia-cenia]

Chongyun x Fem!Reader - Strength

A/N - I forget how many days since I finished the Mondstadt part of this series... I had to start Liyue with my boi. My beloved. He <3

Also fan fact: Chongy means gum in Britain so it double works for Chongyun cuz he’s so dang good :) 

Trigger/Content Warnings: ghost mention, bad parents, food mention, we hurting Xingqiu today lads, fear, light swearing, kidnapping (kinda?)

Word Count: 2,937

Request: No

Summary: You’ve been plagued by demons your whole life. He’s never seen one. What will happen when you meet?

----------------------------------------------------------------

Ghosts, spirits, and demons.

You were no stranger to the unknown. They often whispered secrets of their lives into your ears as you slept. Many exorcists had come and went. They all charged thousands of Mora, only for their promises to fall short. 

Your family was desperate. These whispering strangers grew stronger with each passing day, they began to claw and destroy your family. In one last-ditch effort to keep the (L/N) legacy alive, you were thrown to the streets. 

Many weeks passed, your survival depended on the kindness and naivety of strangers. They invited you into their homes, promising happier times and brighter futures. 

But just like before, they lied.

The whispers turned into yells, the yells into shrieks. It was positively unbearable. Madness constantly danced at the edge of your vision, you wanted nothing more than to give in.

It all changed, however, when a boy with light blue hair and cat slit pupils paused at your trembling form.

“...are you okay?”

Your head snapped up and you looked the boy up and down. He looked nothing special, light clothes and a melting popsicle in his hand. Your eyes focused on the popsicle and you unconsciously licked your lips as you imagined how good it’d feel to have real food in your mouth after... 4 days? 5? You’ve lost count.

He looked between you and the popsicle for a few seconds, sighed heavily, and handed it to you. As you nibbled on the popsicle, he uncomfortably shifted his weight between his feet and waited for you to finish. 

When you were done with it, he cleared his throat and began to rifle through a small bag that was slung over his shoulder. A few moments later, he pulled out a trinket that was engraved in gold.

“You’re (Y/N) (L/N), right?” His voice was soft as he handed you the item. “Take these. It’s a talisman, it should keep the demons at bay.”

Taking the talisman in hand, you flipped it over a few times and considered the boy carefully. Hundreds- no, thousands- of exorcists have tried their hand to free you from the demons who chose you to haunt. What would make this boy any different?

“It’s not like they’ll ever leave.” You mumbled to yourself.

For a moment he looked almost excited, but quickly hid it with a stoic expression, “Can you still hear them?”

You paused. What an odd question. Of course, you could still hear them, why, they were...

“...silent.” You looked up at him, partially horrified, partially euphoric. “They’re silent.”

He sighed to himself, “I see.” The boy stretched and began to walk away, believing his job to be done.

But the moment he left your eyesight, the voices came back louder than ever. 

“Why did you try to get rid of us? Don’t you love us? We love you! Stay with us. Stay with us. Stay with us.”

“Stay.”

A scream fell from your lips, you gripped and pulled at your hair, trying to regain the peaceful silence you had mere moments ago.

Cold hands on your shoulders, heavy breathing, and the scent of various herbs and old paper. You opened your eyes and saw the somewhat panicked cat slit eyes staring at you.

“They came back.” You breathed.

He sat next to you and went deep into his thoughts. For half an hour, the two of you sat there in silence. You relished it, taking in and memorizing every hint of life you hadn’t been able to hear before. He hated it, remembering each time his pure positive energy stopped him from performing his job. 

“Can I...” you finally spoke, breaking the silence, “come with you?”

The out of the blue comment surprised him, but not a hint of that surprise showed on his face, “Why?”

“They’re quiet when you’re here. I never realized how good the quiet was.”

He considered it for a moment, looked at you, “Fine.”

You sighed in relief, “Oh, thank the Archons...”

“But.”

“Oh no.”

“You have to help me get my friend Xingqiu back.”

You blinked at him. ‘Get him back’? Was he in danger? Was he kidnapped somehow? You knew a bit of fighting but not enough to go raid a camp full of stronger, more trained adults.

“He keeps pranking me. I need to get him back.” The boy shook his head solemnly, “Every day he tells me that I’ll finally see a demon. Every day he makes fun of me when I get back.”

“Oh!” You tried to fight the smile that was building on your lips, “Okay. Yeah, I can do that. I, uh, sure. Okay.”

He stood and shook the dirt off his clothes, “We aren’t too far from Liyue Harbor. That’s usually where he stays. It’ll be about uh... a 12-hour walk.” 

“12... hours...” you squeaked. You shook the nervousness away and managed a shaky smile, “You never told me your name.”

The boy paused a moment, “Chongyun.”

You and Chongyun walked in synchrony after hour 3. He kept his distance but always made sure to be close enough so the voices wouldn’t return. Chongyun found you to be eerily calm considering your situation.

Xingqiu told him that you’d been abandoned by your family after years of the spirits gaining strength and losing patience. For the first time, Xingqiu seemed panicked. He begged Chongyun to set out to find you. 

Who was Chongyun to say no? 

His original plan was just to give you the talisman and leave but... this might work out better. The way Xingqiu had described you, it was obvious you were someone close to his heart. Maybe he’d be happy to see you relatively safe and sound. Chongyun liked the idea of that. 

“...yun?”

Chongyun turned to face you, barely feeling your hand grip onto his sleeve. 

“What is it?” He internally winced at how cold he sounded.

“Thank you.” You let go of his sleeve and ran your hands up your arms, “It’s been... ah. Just, thank you. Could you tell me more about your friend?”

“Xingqiu? He’s... hm. He’s really smart. He helps me think of ideas to finally see a demon-”

“You’ve never seen one?” You interrupted him. “Why would you want to see one?”

He slightly puffed out his chest, “It’s my duty as an exorcist to continue the family lega-”

“Screw that! You’ve been blessed! I wish I had that.” You kicked a small rock that lied in your path.

Chongyun sighed heavily. He’s seen this reaction many times over the years, “It makes my job harder.”

“How? Just sit still and bam! Demons gone!”

“I have to draw and describe them in The Field Guide to Demons and Beasts. Not being able to see them makes it... hard.”

You exhaled, “I still wish I had that power.”

“It’s...” he shook his head. “Nevermind. We can talk about it later.”

The two of you walked the rest of the way, with some snack breaks, in silence. 

As you arrived in Liyue, you caught sight of a navy blue haired boy anxiously pacing in front of the entrance. You paused, narrowed your eyes, thought for a moment and when the realization set in, you cried out in glee.

“Xingqiu!” You yelled. The boy looked towards you and quickly dashed in your direction. As he came to a stop, he gripped your hands and smiled happily at you, “Oh, Archons, how long has it been?”

“4 years? When I heard how your family sent you out, I knew I had to do something!” He tightened his grip on your hands as his smile fell. “Are you alright? Are you injured anywhere? Are they...?”

You sighed and let your grip loosen, “I’ve been better. They’re a lot quieter when I’m with him.” You nodded towards Chongyun who was awkwardly standing while chewing on a popsicle.

“Did you get to see them?” Xingqiu asked Chongyun.

“No,” he spoke dejectedly. “There’s has to be at least one demon who isn’t as strong as it, right?”

“It?” You looked between the two boys.

“My ‘power’.” Chongyun specified.

“Ahhh,” you nodded, “well. I’m utterly exhausted. Xingqiu, can I stay at your place tonight?”

“Su-”

“You can stay at mine.” 

You and Xingqiu both looked at Chongyun, surprised by his sudden offer. 

“It’s only to make sure the demons don’t come back during the night.” He spoke, digging his toe into the dirt and suddenly very interested in a nearby bush.

“Can Xingqiu stay with us? I just... well, I don’t really know you.” You nervously laughed, “I’d just feel more comfortable if he were there.”

“In that case, let’s just skip the walk and stay at my place. I’m sure Father wouldn’t mind.” Xingqiu looked between the two of you. You looked at Chongyun, who was still entranced with a nearby bush and waited for his response. After a few moments of silence, he nodded his head.

The three of you walked the streets of Liyue, the further you got the more familiar it felt. Dogs who always licked at your heels, tourists surprised at the food, children laughing and chasing each other. 

You stopped walking and looked around in awe. The boys, caught up in conversation, hadn’t noticed. 

Is this how it feels like? To not be afraid? You almost didn’t believe it. No, you definitely didn’t believe it. They were gone, it was quiet. You couldn’t feel their warm claws digging into your shoulders, nor their cold breaths on your cheek. Anything you wanted to do you could. The voices and demons would never bother you again as long as-

“Why do you keep trying to leave us?” 

You gulped, sweat beading at your brow as you spun around. No, this isn’t right. 

You got rid of them. They’re gone. It’s been half a day and you hadn’t heard them, you’re free. So why...

“Listen to us. We just want to keep you safe. Don’t you want that too?”

...why were they back?

Why did you feel their nails beginning to pierce your skin as rose petals slipped down your shoulder? Why could you hear their melodic hums in your ears as their tongues tied and twisted around you? 

Your eyes were unfocused, your legs were shaking, you swallowed every bit of spit that lingered in your mouth but your throat still ran dry. You could almost hear pounding footsteps; could almost feel a boy with navy blue hair pushing through the crowd until his hand wrapped around your wrist and yanked you forward. 

Your feet were moving. That much you knew. Where you were going and why they were moving were two separate matters entirely. Slowly, the voices were replaced by panting and their burning claws melted into cool metal.

“...huh?” you spoke as you gathered your senses. Why were you sitting on the streets of Liyue? You looked around and felt your shoulders immediately relax as you saw Xingqiu. “Xing... Xingqiu?” 

He was holding your left hand tightly, trying to manage a reassuring smile despite his panicked eyes. You looked to the boy pressing the cold circular object against your shoulder.

“What’s...” you yawned, “What’s happening?”

“I, uh, we got wrapped up in the conversation. We thought you were right behind us.” Xingqiu looked at the ground guiltily, “You just about passed out.”

You looked up at Chongyun, taking note of the determination in his eyes. “I guess I’m kinda stuck to you for a while, huh?” You laughed sadly.

He froze and looked down at you, his eyebrows knitting together as his lips turned into a tight frown, “I don’t think that makes me stuck to you.”

“True, you could always drop me off at... well, anywhere.” You rested your head against the wall you were propped up against, “It’s not really you who's stuck.”

Chongyun shook his head, “That’s not what I meant.”

A soft blush covered your cheeks, “Oh.” 

Xingqiu looked between the two of you and quickly bit his tongue. 

“Don’t interfere, Xingqiu.” He chided himself. “Your childhood crush is nothing. It’s been 4 years! They just met anyway.”

He shook the anxiety away and tried to ignore the sinking feeling in his stomach. All old crushes die out eventually, he’ll be fine. 

He was not fine.

It’s been 2 months since your arrival and he’s found himself as head-over-heels for you as he was 4 years ago. He took every opportunity he could to spend time with you. He was jealous of Chongyun, and he hated it. 

Chongyun got to spend all day with you. Chongyun spent hours training with you and planning ways to beat your demons. 

Chongyun was his best friend! It’s fine! Your just his friend, it’s okay! He’s okay with that!

“Mmm, okay I think I get it.” You spoke, pointing at a book that was spread between you and Chongyun, “This is for healing and that’s why we need it.”

“We also should bless it in pure rainwater.”

“Chongy, do we need to wait for it to rain here? Who knows how long that’ll be...” 

Chongy.

Chongy.

A nickname. You gave Chongyun a nickname. Why didn’t you give him a nickname? Xingqiu found he could no longer ignore the feelings building in his chest. He tore through every book in his collection, nearly memorized every declaration of love. 

For 20 minutes a day, you were alone. You and Chongyun were testing your tolerance and slowly but surely, it was growing. That was good news all around. Xingqiu took these measly 20 minutes as an opportunity. He knocked on the door to your room and waited for a response. A few minutes passed and he grew anxious. He announced his presence and let himself into your room. 

It was eerily clean. Xingqiu called your name a few more times and grew more and more confused as he couldn’t find a trace that you had ever been there. He sat on your bed and jumped when he heard something crunch beneath him. 

Right where he sat, a note was lied out.

Chongyun and Xingqiu -

I’ve decided I’m going to try to go back home.

I know you’d try to stop me... so I figured it’d be best to just run for it. I think I’m enough now. Enough for them.

 I’ll use the skills we went over and I’ll control the demons! They’ll be so happy. 

Thank you for helping me.I’ll write again when I arrive so you know I’m safe. Feel free to visit!

-(Y/N)

Meanwhile, you knocked on the door of your family's home. The entire trip over you’d been practicing what to say to them. Your mother opened the door and gasped when she saw you.

“(Y/N)?” She whispered, her eyes wide. “How are you...?”

“I’m back.” You sheepishly smiled. “I, ummm, I spent a lot of time getting control of them. I think I’m better now. See? They’re not even here!”

“S-Stay here...” she half-jogged deeper into your house and didn’t return. You awkwardly stood around, twiddling your thumbs, not even noticing the shovel about to hit the back of your head and knock you unconscious. 

When you woke up, your hands were tied behind your back and you were surrounded by the damp scent of rotting wood. It was dark and your head hurt.

Where were you? This isn’t right. You had been going home. No, you were home. You saw your mother. Why are you here? Are they afraid? No. No, that doesn’t make sense. 

You did your best. You thought it was enough... wasn’t it enough? The voices had stopped. You made friends. You...Tears bloomed in your eyes as you harshly bit into your lip. 

You thought they’d love you if you came home the way they wanted. Why didn’t they love you? Where was Chongyun? Where was Xingqiu?

You missed them. You wanted Chongyun to sit next to you like he always does. You wanted to hear him enthuse about exorcism. You wanted to lie your head in his lap and tease him. Just like you always do.

“Chongy...” you muttered to yourself. “I lo...”

A loud crash upstairs forced a gasp from your lips. In horror, you sat silently and hoped the house wasn’t getting robbed. The yelling, banging, and screaming wasn’t easing your nerves.

You sat as still as you could, hoping that whoever was up there wouldn’t hurt you. Praying even. Light flooded the room which made you wince and turn away. “(Y/N)?” A familiar voice called.

You looked in the direction of the voice and let the tears fall loose. There, at the top of a staircase, stood Chongyun. The light behind him made him look like an angel.

“Ch... Chongy!” You yelled. He raced down the stairs and looked at you. “Chongyun, Archons, I’m so happy to see you.”

He worked quickly, untying your hands and letting you collapse into his arms. “Xingqiu and I came as fast as we could...”

You gripped onto his shirt and held him closer, “I’m so sorry.”

“For what?”

“I thought... I thought they loved me.”

“I know.” He drew loose circles on your back with his finger, “I know.”

You rested your head in the crook of his neck and let the scent of various herbs and old paper engulf you.

Xingqiu, who had just finished fighting your parents, stopped at the top of the stairs and smiled at you two. It was the first time he’d seen Chongyun able to touch someone without his congenital positivity overflowing... 

Maybe you were helping him just as much as he was helping you. 

[bookgeekgrrl]

My media this week (29 May-4 Jun 2022)

📚 STUFF I READ 📚

😊 Rose Blue (Metalbvcky) - reread of this modern no-powers Stucky BDSM fic because I also read a lot of the shorter follow-on fics and wanted to refresh my memory on these characterizations

🥰 👂 The Murder of Mr. Wickham (Claudia Gray, author; Billie Fulford-Brown, narrator) - this is a mashup of Jane Austen and Agatha Christie, in that all of Austen's characters gather for a house party and then there's a murder - I feel like this is a book where either you're here for the premise and enjoy the ride or you should stay away entirely. For my part I had a blast reading this, just a fun, entertaining romp. I am fine with all the modernizing touches that literally everyone writing today does in historical fiction. I enjoyed seeing a possible version of (mostly) beloved characters after their HEAs, some as much as 20+ years on! Of course the Tilneys' daughter would be the one with enough gumption and curiosity to want to investigate a murder! Of course the Darcys have a son who's very neurodivergent! Loved the scene where Elizabeth has a little too much wine (after an extremely bad day) and channels a little too much of her dad! Shout out to the info we get about Mary Bennet's happily ever after; four for you, Mary! Can't believe this book made me remotely tolerate Fanny & Edmund! The murder was decently plotted and played 'the game' as it should be. Anyway, if this is your flavor of amusement, you'll know it.

😍 The Rules of Play (Ribbonsflying) - loved this Stucky historical BDSM AU - loved the power dynamics at play and has one of the hottest ice play scenes I've read

🥰 Wish Granted (ambut) - another really good variation on the 'recovering veteran Bucky finds solace and some healing with professional Dom Steve' - this had lots of delish praise kink which I eat like ice cream and also a more realistic depiction of Bucky dealing with his amputation/prosthetic which was nice to see

💖💖 +263K of shorter fic so shout out to these I really loved 💖💖

Say it louder for the people in the back (redhook) - MCU: shrinkyclinks AU, 14K - reread of THEE preeminent glory hole fic in this fandom - no matter how many times I read it, it's never not fantastic

Lullaby for Futures Lost - Chapter 16: Vignettes Part 2 - The End (Oh_i_swear) - MCU: shrunkyclunks omegaverse AU, 8K - delightful post HEA vignettes in this wonderful universe

📺 STUFF I WATCHED 📺

Legends of Tomorrow - s5, e2-12 - my love for this entirely bananapants hella fucking queer show grows with each season

🎧 PODCASTS🎧

Hit Parade - State of the World Edition

Hit Parade - Lost and Lonely Edition

The Atlas Obscura Podcast - A Sound Garden

Hit Parade - Flip It and Reverse It

The Atlas Obscura Podcast - Two of Our Favorite Mummies

Switched on Pop - The 1980s jam that gave Latto and Mariah Carey Big D*** Energy

Song Exploder - Rick Astley "Never Gonna Give You Up"

The Atlas Obscura Podcast - Madame Tussaud

99% Invisible #493 - Divining Provenance

Still Processing - And a Britney Song Was On …

Strong Songs - Three to Tango, with Alex Krebs and Andrew Oliver

The Atlas Obscura Podcast - San Juan Sound

Shedunnit - The Queen of True Crime

Lingthusiasm - Bonus 64: There's like, so much to like about "like"

Shedunnit - Bonus: Ask Me Anything Part One

🎶 MUSIC 🎶

New Jack Swing Anthems

Best Of The Cure

Give 'Em the Hooks!

Presenting Siouxsie and the Banshees

Lowrider Oldies

My Life With The Thrill Kill Kult

Nitzer Ebb

Strong Songs podcast playlist

[sneezefiction]

dance with me

Bokuto x Reader - Scenario

event request: “Can you do prompt 2. Dance with me for Bokuto?? Congrats btw!”

a/n: i’m always down to write anything for Bokuto, bb. enjoy some fluffy, slow-dancing moments with your fiancé, Bo, for me please, love!!

warnings: mentions of marriage & engagements

wc: 1350

---

“Y/n, can you set that down for a minute?” Bokuto’s grin peeks over the top of your paperback book as he pushes it down with his hands.

“But Bo, I’m at the best part!” You whine, pulling it towards your chest, away from his grasp.

He’s leaning over you now, a signature pout adorning his expression. You try not to look up, but you can’t help it.

No.

Not those eyes.

His puppy-dog expression tugs at your heartstrings in the worst way. His eyebrows are knitted together with such sorrow, imploring you to give him your undivided attention.

“For me? Please.” He’s begging. Again, a puppy-dog. 

“I just want to be with you…” His head is tilted, eyes pleading.

You sigh helplessly. So needy.

But you give him a soft smile, gently marking the chapter and setting aside your beloved book for the boy you love even more.

His eyes light up immediately, Bokuto’s smile is beaming at full-force once again. Just as it should be.

“Fine-” 

As soon as he gets verbal confirmation, he’s grabbing you firmly by the underneath of your thighs and lifting you up off the couch causing you to gasp. Your balance is thrown completely off. He laughs as you frantically tuck your legs behind his back and throw your arms around his neck to keep yourself from falling backward.

With that, you give him a frustrated frown, but the moment his eyes crinkle with mischief, you know you’re in trouble. He squeezes your thighs, tickling you, which forces you to abandon your forced frown and sends you into a bout of bubbling laughter.

A peachy blush forms across his grinning face at the sound of your voice, even though he’s the one who’s supposed to be getting you flustered. Bokuto buries his face into the crook of your neck, drawing your body even closer to his. You tighten your hold around his neck, loving the way his soft, grey hair brushes against your face.

Bokuto is always trying to find new ways to incite that divine sound. 

It’s like music to his ears… 

Music...

“AH MUSIC.” He blurts out, jolting his head back to face you, a flash of excitement glimmering in his golden-yellow eyes.

His sudden movement shouldn’t have startled you since he’s almost never calm for more than a few seconds, but you still haven’t fully adapted to his chaotic tendencies.

“Babe, what?” You question, cocking an eyebrow at his goofy expression. 

“Ahhh, just come with me!” He expresses impatiently.

“Bo, you’re literally carrying me.” You state, but not without a laugh.

So he sets you down gently, allowing your feet to meet the floor before immediately dashing to the next room over, leaving you confused and wondering what your boisterous sweetheart was getting you into this time.

But in all truth, you’ve never loved someone more.

Before Bokuto, you’d always fallen for short-term lovers. “Bad boys,” as Bokuto now cheesily refers to them as.

It was easy to fall for their mysterious, eye-catching personalities and attractive faces. 

They promised you pretty things. Long, steamy nights in dim-lit hotel rooms. Flirty, messy kisses in darkened theaters. Yes, your past boyfriend’s showered you in dirty, devoted promises about what they would do to you.

But it was never about what they would do for you.

You would always end up wishing for more. For something beautiful to happen in the slower, cloudier moments of life. For someone to last longer than the sunny, sensual seconds…

Yet they never stuck around to share the little things. You were always racing against time. Any ounce of conflict or trouble would crumble the already shaky foundation of your relationship.

It was never like that with Bokuto.

It didn’t bother him if you were sick, blowing your nose for 4 days straight or leaning over a toilet seat. He was there. Never leaving you alone except to get groceries or medicine. Holding your hair back and buying you boxes of tissues and cough drops. He would gladly catch a cold for you.

It didn’t matter that you were trapped inside your apartment on your 2 year anniversary, sheets of pouring rain coasting across the window panes, the weather laughing at your attempts to go out. Bokuto was impossible to faze in moments like these. He lit candles across the kitchen counter-tops when the power gave out and wrapped his arms around your shoulders as you concocted a dessert of some sort. You two consumed ungodly amounts of cookie dough that night and shared in celebratory chocolate kisses.

It didn’t change when you were grief-stricken. When you’d locked yourself behind a closet door, sobbing and mourning your most recent loss. He would sit on the opposite side of the door. Waiting for you. Crying with you. That small space under the door? Bokuto used it to feel around for your fingers, linking them together with his digits when he found them. That day, and many times after, he coaxed you out of real and metaphorical closets with loving, gentle words. 

It’s why you chose to set that precious book down today. 

It’s why you let him hold you whenever he’s feeling needy or lonely, a knowing smile etched onto your face.

It’s why you decided to put on that gold-laced engagement ring. Why you accepted his teary-eyed marriage proposal months ago.

Because for so long, you couldn’t see yourself with anyone for more than a couple months at most. It always seemed to end no matter how much effort you put into your side of the relationship.

Yet Bo gave you every reason to believe that he would stick around, making you feel like you always had a place by his side. That you were always wanted. Worthy of a lifelong commitment. 

And whether you liked it or not, he would’ve bugged you until you agreed to marry him, so it’s probably a good thing you accepted the first time around.

You’re snapped out of your thoughts because just as soon as he had raced out of the room, he’s back with a newfound energy, hands full with a massive Bluetooth speaker and a fully-charged phone.

The moment it’s set up, he’s choosing a song. His eyes dash through all of his beloved playlists labeled with strangely specific names. You peer over his shoulder, catching a glimpse of the one he’s scrolling through.

The playlist is titled “Dance With Me.”

You burst into another soft fit of giggles over the lovey-dovey name, causing him to turn his head, much like a curious owl.

He had the makings to be a charmer. And a cheeseball.

Both, for sure.

“Y/nnnn, don’t make fun of me! I need to practice for the wedding, don’t I?” He wiggles his eyebrows at you like a schoolboy with a crush.

A smile silently adorns your features.

With the click of a song, your ears are blessed with the melodic flow of R&B, thick with bluesy guitars and lyrical loveliness. A true slow jam, perfect for rocking on heels and leaning into broad shoulders.

You roll your eyes, throwing your arms around his neck for the 2nd time today.

“We’ve still got 8 months til we’re married, baby.” You remind him, your heart jumping at your own words. 

8 short months.

8 months until forever.

Forever with your favorite person.

And it doesn’t scare you. No, the flutters in your stomach are reassuring and brimming with excitement. 

You couldn’t wait.

So you rest your forehead against his, staring deeply into his contemplative orbs.

As you two sway to the beat, you can tell he’s thinking. Pondering that sentence. Cultivating a response. You can feel it in the way his thumbs stroke the sides of your hips in deliberation.

He’s searching your gaze and his own mind. Drawing a conclusion.

You just wait. Swaying to the beat, drinking in his almond, vanilla scent, patiently watching his thought process unfold before you.

“I just wish it were sooner.” He whispers, eyes locked on yours.

Oh.

Oh Bokuto.

You release your hold around his neck, slowly drawing your face away from his and moving your hands toward his features. The slow dancing pauses, his feet subconsciously planting themselves on the floor in curious anticipation of what’s to come.

Your knuckles stroke his cheekbones, causing him to flush slightly. Fingers brush against his jawline, your eyes now concentrated on his lips.

How dare he speak such beautiful things with that mouth. Always so smooth when you least expect it.

You lean in, giving him a soft peck, lingering on his lips for just for a moment. Enough to tease him. Because it’s so unfair of him to say things like that... 

When he knows full well that you would marry him right here, on the spot.

Under the broken chandelier in your dingy apartment’s living room, you would dedicate your whole life to him, vows and all, while twirling to a playlist called “Dance With Me.”

---

tags: @cherryonigiri, @yams046, @kaidasen, @miss-rin

(comment or send an ask to be added to my general tag list)

[writer-and-artist27]

Okii-san

Or, I somehow pulled Okita Alter on the first ten pull I did on the Guda Guda 3 rerun banner (I was actually aiming for the Craft Essences, so the gold Alter Ego card kinda shocked me after all the pain that was getting Enkidu and Ishtar), and with her now sitting at Level 84 in my Chaldea (as of this writing this notes section/intro at 11:06 pm on 4/12/2021, after farming Embers for 3-4 hours on Golden Apples/Saint Quartz), I wanted to write this bit before bed.

I don't know all of Majiin's story yet, since I wasn't able to play the event's original run where she debuted, but I hope the emotions here are about right.

-------------------

"YEW BOW!"

Vy watched as Robin Hood's Noble Phantasm went off, incinerating the last Divine Arm of Dawn with plumes of purple smoke. Once the air cleared, she felt herself quietly exhale.

Another farming bit done.

"Battle finished, Senpai," Mash said faithfully, taking her Ortinax goggles off her eyes to rest them on top of her head. The sparkle in her purple eyes was all the more obvious thanks to the action, further accentuating the warm smile on her face. "Embers are all collected."

Vy stretched her arms in the air, standing on her tiptoes while nodding. Standing as a commander of Servants, while doable, still took something in social energy. Even if it was for the experience, it didn't help that wearing an outfit that supposedly came from the Far Side of the Moon felt a bit too exposing. Maybe it was the short skirt and lack of stockings. But then again, Vy couldn't voice it. Too much worry could mean overthinking it to the point of broadcasting to the other Servants. And the last few times that happened were embarrassing enough with Dr. Roman still around. So instead of that, she said, "Aye aye. Thank you for the support, beloved kouhai."

Mash blushed a little at the title, but still nodded with the same warm smile. "I-It's the least I can do, Senpai."

"And I'm always grateful for that, Mash." Vy shot her a smile back once she felt that telling crack in her spine, rocking her head back and forth. To everyone else, she took a breath before opening her mouth. "Good job, everyone!"

Robin Hood, the MVP of the quest this time, shot Vy a wry grin in return, saluting her with one pointer finger. "Getting to fight on the front lines is at least easier now," he quipped. "But give me a break sometimes, Master."

"Oh, shushie, big Robin, you have more energy than me and I'm the workaholic." Once his green eye was boring holes into her forehead, though, Vy amended it with a more kind, less sardonic, "If it helps, I'll give you a chocolate chip muffin later?"

The May King merely grinned. Before he could say anything, though, Ishtar let out a haughty laugh, hovering over Robin's head with Maana as she put a hand to her chin. "How delightfully droll, green Archer! All this work for a muffin! Nonsense! As the Goddess of Love, I could certainly help you with whatever thoughts you have lingering in your mind instead—"

"Sorry, little lady. Compared to my little sparrow's gifts, that offer is going to get a hard pass. Plus, you're not my type."

Ishtar wilted as soon as she bloomed, Maana descending to near ground level as a result. Nearby, Vy could hear Mash laugh sheepishly, adjusting her hold on her shield as the last member of their party made themselves known with a soft sigh at Vy's other side.

The back of a gloved hand brushed Vy's free one, the one that didn't have the Command Spells, and Vy tried not to flinch away at the new sensation. Sure, the being known as Okita Souji Alter was still someone Vy was trying to grasp in emotional understanding. Even when being close to Final Ascension, there was something about Okita's eyes lingering on Vy's form the entire time they went about farming for the Embers Okita needed that was a little... different from the other Servants in Chaldea's roster. And yes, Okita wasn't the first Alter Vy had ever contracted with. Saber Alter had that honor bagged. It didn't make the constant surveillance any less... strange to think about, really.

But Okita had still answered her call when Vy wasn't expecting it. More so after her original self and some others didn't. And considering the Lostbelts and what would come, all Vy could feel herself doing in response to the small touch was reach over and grab Okita's fingers before the Alter Ego could lurch away.

"Majiin-san?"

"Wh-What is it, Master?" Okita Alter said after a second of consideration, her pale yellow — almost silver, really, when looking up close — eyes automatically locking onto Vy as she tilted her head downwards. They were close enough to where Vy could see her own image reflected in Okita's darkened irises. "Is there something wrong?"

"N-No no, nothing really." Vy glanced down at their entangled hands, feeling the thoughts rush through her at that moment. "I just..."

Calloused. Signs of bruises. How long had she been—

Before me, where had she—

Okita Alter's hands reminded her of Archer EMIYA's.

To Vy, Okita Alter's touch felt like Shirou's.

A wind passed between them. Vy wasn't sure if it was from the simulator or her brain making up the sensation.

"...Vy?" Okita whispered.

Anxiety was bubbling up in her throat, but Vy still raised her head and looked up at the taller Alter Ego with what she hoped was a genuine smile. She couldn't help but tug and squeeze the Servant's fingers a bit tighter as she said in a softer voice, "Are you having fun working with us, Okii-san?"

Okita Alter blinked once. Twice. Thrice. Then many times over, as if gears were turning in her head before her eyes widened to the size of plates. "Okii...san?"

"You're the only Okita I ever got to know," Vy said with a shy laugh, doing her best to ignore the eyes of the other Servants while speaking her mind. "So, Okii-san. And, I know you're not at full power yet, but, let me try again..." Vy gulped, finishing with a softer, "Are you happy right now?"

Am I helping you enough like how I did with Shirou, Mash, and big Robin?

Okita Alter stared at Vy for a while. The attention was enough to make Vy tempted to run, to want to let go of Okita's hand and hide her face away, but something inside of her was forcing her to stay still.

Silvery-yellow eyes reflected Vy's image for what felt like a long time before they closed, a soft sigh on Okita's lips.

"Okii-san? Um. Sh-Should I have not gone with that name? Should we go farm a bit more instead? O-Or should I go cook some oden when we—"

Instead of a verbal answer, Okita's long sword had disappeared into visible sparkles, and before Vy knew it, hands were reaching under her elbows, winding around her waist and—

"W-Wah!"

Despite being lifted up in the air and feeling very much like a teddy bear as a result (what was it with Servants either headpatting or hugging her like this?), Vy couldn't miss the warm solemn smile on Okita's face. "O-Okii-san?"

"...My anchor, my lord, my Master," Okita said in slow, gentle succession, her hold on Vy's figure almost considerate as she slowly brought her arms in to let Vy rest her hands on Okita's shoulders. "Why worry about that?" A nose gently brushed hers, sparking a sudden giggle from Vy's lips at the ticklish feeling as Okita smiled again. "Believe me, my shooting star." A shaky breath brushed Vy's cheeks as one of Okita's hands rested on the back of Vy's head, barely missing her ponytail and almost cradling her as their foreheads touched. Something sang through their Master-Servant mental connection.

"Okii-san—?"

"I honestly wish this kind of happiness could go on forever."

...Oh.

It was telling that none of the other Servants were saying anything.

Vy still raised her hands to wrap them around Okita's neck, pushing Okita's forehead back with a bit of force. Not enough to cause pain, but enough for a reminder. "We can just make more, Okii-san," Vy whispered, closing her eyes. "Even when this happiness goes away, we can still make more. Whether it's through memories or spending time together, happiness can happen. As long as we're alive, we can do it."

Once Vy opened her eyes, Okita was already in the process of putting her back down to Earth, that same solemn smile on her face. "Of course, Master."

It felt like another promise Vy knew she had to keep.

-------------------

"Emiya-kun! We need dinner!"

"Sheesh, even when possessed by a goddess, you're still so rude..."

Vy watched from afar as the other Servants slowly filed into the Novum Chaldea Dining Hall for dinner, her back against one of the hallway walls as her mental battery sputtered.

Maybe I should take a break from Ember Gathering for a while—

A soft whish of the air was all the signal she had before the scent of wood and smoke graced her nose. Coincidentally, a gloved hand rested on top of her head as a part of something green shaded half of her vision.

"...Robin?"

"You could go join them," Archer said softly. "You don't have to stay here, Vy."

"...Later." Vy tried to hold back a yawn. When it became obvious Robin Hood was staring holes into her head, though, she quietly amended the situation with a tiny, "When I have more energy, big Robin. Kinda operating on low social battery at the moment."

Plus Okii-san apparently hugs harder than most people, it seems.

The hand on her head patted her hair almost immediately. "Fine fine."

You should let yourself rest more before you try to take care of others, Master.

"Just, um. Big Robin?"

The headpatting stopped for a second. "What is it, little sparrow?"

As much as her heart was protesting at the selfishness of her brain, Vy still found herself admitting, "...Could I just stay with you for a bit? Don't wanna move for a while..."

Silence. Then, Robin Hood said in the most deadpan voice possible, "That sounds like you need a nap more than anything, Vy."

Vy tried not to grumble, ducking her head. She tried not to fidget once Robin's other hand reached up to her ponytail, undoing her hair tie to let all the long locks flow freely. "I know, I know... I love you too, Robin, just, less quip, more hug..."

Robin Hood paused, long enough for Vy to feel something in the air shift between them, before the hand on top of her head tugged her one way, enough for Vy's shoes to scuff the sides of the wall. In spite of the force, all Vy could do was blearily blink as soon as a faint kiss was pressed to her forehead.

Huh? "Robin...?"

"You selfless Master," Robin Hood muttered against the crown of her hair, arms winding around her waist to pull her to his chest. "Rest more for our sakes too, won't you? Killing yourself won't help anyone."

"I-I'm not killing myself when it's helping all of you find better things in life..."

Robin Hood sighed. Another kiss pressed against Vy's head, this time more noticeable to the point of her heart skipping a beat, before the No Face May King covered her shoulders. "Silly Master. Life is more than just giving things up for 'the better.'"

What will happen to us and that 'better' if you're not around to see it?

As much as Vy wanted to, she couldn't answer. Sleep was beckoning. The last thing she remembered before the peaceful darkness came was something gently brushing her lips. For all she knew, the sensation may as well have been the beginning of a dream.

[sanikori]

Snk 129

Hey guys and gals, i apologize for not giving the recap quickly like i always do but i’ve been so drained out of energy with all the shit going on. So i just took some time for myself and to support my black friends in the #blacklivesmatter movement and going protesting with them, obviously protecting them by using my white privilige. With this said, let’s get into it.

1)

We didn’t even start yet and i’m already sad. Also i remember someone saying Armin was the only one to show emphaty. EITHER YOU BLIND OR YOU PRETEND TO BE, DO YOU NOT SEE CONNIE’S TRAUMATIZED FACE OR YOU PRETEND NOT TO SEE IT

2)

My titan babes squashing scouts like i squash mosquitos. I love to see it

3)

In a few words, we’re fucked in the ass. That chapter 123 flashback killed me

4)

Switching up their Ackermans

5)

I took 129 chapters and 4 seasons to see these two cooporate and not be at each other’s throat for Eren’s dick but worth the wait

6)

Bitch kill who? not on my queens watch. I ugly laughed when he aimed at Hanji and Mikasa and of course missed. How is this dude a soldier when he clearly never did target pratice? he just doesn’t know how to aim which is patchetic.

7)

Wish i could have them both protecting me like that from my life problems 

8)

I love him so much. He lost Marcel, Bertolt and Porco. Annie is the only one left and he just can’t bear to loose her too. Other than him begin suicidal, he was really willing to die just to save Annie lemme go cry

9)

Their worried looks. 

Not Flop trying to act like daddy Erwin i- he really though he did something... i hope he realized that no one found this cute and makes people want to kill him even more

10)

All i see is tiny Levi

11)

Grampa Magath

12)

They saved him, so he saves them back even though they both betrayed him. Slay king, slay

13)

They fr couldn’t take out 4 people even when they had them out numbered... the embarassment is real

14)

They are so sexy AND FOR WHAT?!

15)

Anyone has Isayama’s pusher’s number? no because i wanna know what type of drug he bought to come up with a chicken titan.

16)

See he’s a cockroach, he flies like one.

17)

Gabi is talented, brilliant, incredible, spectacular, amazing, showstopping, outstanding, never the same, totally unique, completely never done before- now this is how you use a gun. Floch, but make it one armed, now you can be like Erwin. And Mikasa, slice me up like that

18)

Mikasa who told you to look that fine

19)

My god they doing it

20)

This poor child...

21)

I wanna have a poster of Mikasa holding Annie. Funny how Jean was knocking the shit out of Reiner the previous night and now he’s helping him and with Pieck roaring at Hanji when they first met and now Hanji is helping her

22)

I hope y’all hearing me cry in the corner of my room

23)

Are we sure they aren’t half bros like Eren and Zeke? they do be looking similiar tho. All jokes aside, this proves Eldia and Marley could’ve talked it out but no, they had to be difficult and start a war

24)

And here i am, crying at 3 Am over Shadis and Magath dying together. Thank you guys for training our beloved soldiers and warriors, i’ll miss you both. Rest in power kings.

In conclusion: Flop’s plot armour is officially stronger than Reiner’s.

[singingvio]

LEGEND OF MANGA LISTS: Top 5 SADDEST Moments in the Zelda Manga Series!

((NOTE: Twilight Princess mangas and the Skyward Sword excerpt in the Hyrule Historia are excluded from the mangas considered in this list.))

1. Volvagia’s Demise (Ocarina of Time part 1)

In chapter 3 of Ocarina of Time, part 1, the story depicted is titled “An Old and Beloved Friend.” This chapter mostly depicts Link and Volvagia’s fight, along with their backstory depicted solely in the manga and not in the game, as it isn’t canon. The chapter starts with Link’s bow out, a single arrow ready to be embedded in Volvagia’s skull, only for Link to falter. The dragon burns Link and nearly kills him, only for Link to be healed by Sheik.

Link insists to the Goron Link that he can’t fight Volvagia. Sheik makes a fairly robotic comment while playing his harp that the only way to subdue Volvagia is to kill him, and Link loses it, yelling at Sheik, “That’s easy for YOU to say! There must be some way to make him remember me!” Sheik shows him exactly what disasters are happening due to Volvagia’s tantrum, Kakariko and Goron villages close to destruction, and Link sadly recounts the story of how he and Volvagia met before his inevitable battle.

Link saw him as a baby, locked in a cage with a price of seventy rupees in Castle Town. Link bought the dragon and set him free, only for Volvagia to bite his hand and burn his hair with his flames. Link tries to ignore the dragon later, when it follows him, but then Volvagia ends up burning a Stalfos that had been sneaking up to kill Link. Link then befriended the dragon, and Volvagia said his name aloud, and the memory fades as Link is brought out of his story by someone warning him that the volcano is about to erupt.

Link, in a futile, heartbreaking effort to make Volvagia remember him, yells out, “It’s me! Link! Remember me!” Seeing as this does nothing, Link drives his sword into Volvagia’s flesh, beheading him. At his final moments, Volvagia remembers Link and starts to cry, calling his name out one last time to an expressionless Link as he dies.

2. Ghandi’s Defeat and Link’s Following Despair (A Link to the Past)

In Act 3 of A Link to the Past, Sacrifice, Link and Ghandi (a character created to be Link’s friend and travelling companion exclusively in the manga) travel through the Dark World, saving its inhabitants from fates worse than death to pay for their sins. When Link talks to a gossiping monster of a swamp, it is revealed that Zelda is at Turtle Rock, and Link heads there immediately. Ghandi, however, stays behind.

Ghandi claims that a bandit can’t risk her life just to save someone else, and Link argues that he only got this far because of her helping him. They inevitably split up, and Ghandi worries silently about Link and confesses to herself that she’s had a crush on him and can’t bear to see him reunited with Princess Zelda, as he clearly loves her instead.

Meanwhile, Link makes his way to Agahnim at Turtle Rock, to free Princess Zelda. Agahnim calls on a giant, firebreathing hydra to stop Link from saving Zelda, and Link, thinking nothing of it, defeats the monster with ease. Link comments on the monster’s strength, saying, “It’s kinda weak, for such a big…” and then he realizes. The monster vanishes into smoke, revealing the broken body of Ghandi, who isn’t dead, but very close. Link is heartbroken, and immediately hatred fills his heart as he turns on Agahnim for making him fight Ghandi.

Agahnim points out what Link is becoming, a hateful wolf, and Link watches his own body transform in horror as he cries out in agony. Zelda  manages to break free of her crystal cage, and heals Link from his beastly form. Together, they manage to heal Ghandi before she dies as well, and the two are properly reunited.

3. Pirate Captain and His Lady (Oracle of Ages)

In chapter 7 of Oracle of Ages, The Pirate Captain, Ralph and Link are stranded in an unknown body of water on a raft, trying to get back to the mainland to rescue Nayru. They’re rescued by the Pirate Captain, a man worn away to only soul and bone, as is his crew. Ralph and Link ask him how long he’s been sailing, and he replies that he doesn’t know and is very tired.

The Captain and Link discuss Link’s sword and its fine craftmanship, and then the Captain notices Ralph holding the Harp of Ages, and asks for a song. Ralph obliges, playing a traditional waltz, and the captain is happily lost in the memory of when he was in Labrynna, dancing with a fine lady under the stars. He says, “I remember this song from when I danced with her! We were in love, and the world was ours. Until it ended, and I set to sea to forget. But I could never forget… not her.”

He then makes a bold declaration, one soon revealed to be one of many when Link reads his logbook, that he will make it back to Labrynna to reunite with the lady he still loves to this day. As the ship is caught up in a horrific storm, Link gets his hold on the Captain’s logbook, reading in horror the logs there. “Day 23: set sail for Labrynna. Encountered a storm. Day 145: Storm. Day 317: Storm… They’ve been stuck in this storm forever!”

Link and Ralph attempt to escape the ship in their fear that they won’t be able to, and the Captain attempts to stop them. Link manages to tell the Captain that if he lets them go, he can fix things for him and his Lady, and the Captain, on the brink of tragedy as he lets Link and Ralph go, his final words are a request to Link. “If y’see this lady on your journeys, lad, tell her… the Knight who set sail… will love her for all eternity.” He shows Link a picture of Queen Ambi, and with that, he disappears without a trace, and is never shown again.

4. Shadow Link’s Final Stand (Four Swords part 2)

In chapter 12 of Four Swords part 2, The Four Sword Forever, we see the Four Links’ final stand against Vaati in order to save Zelda. Previously in the manga, Shadow was resurrected using the power of the Dark Mirror after a crushing betrayal from Vio, the smart, collected side of Link he’d thought to be his friend before his temporary defeat. The Dark Mirror is the source of all dark magic, including his life force. Shadow was resurrected right in front of Zelda, who was staring sadly at him, and he yells at her angrily to not take pity on him, as he hates it.

Zelda is then enshrouded in a dark cloud, and Shadow panics, asking Vaati what’s happening to her. When he realizes Vaati is going to kill Zelda, he completely breaks down, taking a quick detour to help the Links by disguising himself as Vio before going back up and grabbing a chair Zelda had been sitting in prior to her slow poisoning in the cloud, throwing it at the Dark Mirror with a scream and breaking the center of it.

Finally, in the final chapter of Four Swords part 2, the Links are almost where Shadow, Zelda and Vaati are. Shadow is incredibly weak, putting almost all his weight on the side of the Mirror. Vaati panics, yelling at Shadow that if he destroys the mirror, Shadow will die too. Shadow grins at Vaati, before saying, “That’s all right. I came out of the Dark Mirror. And with it’s power I woke you. How fitting that I use it to destroy us BOTH!” And with that, he shoves the mirror to the ground, successfully killing Vaati.

The other Links find his body lying next to the mirror, thanking him, and Shadow starts to close his eyes when Vio yells at him to “hang in there!” Shadow then calmly recounts what his life is like as Link’s shadow. “A shadow… usually only ever follows its body. It never gets to lead the way. Today I faced the enemy… on my own. It felt pretty good, but that still doesn’t make me… part of the body.”

Green (the leader and most ‘Link-like’ of the four) tells him the opposite, telling him that he’s their friend, and Shadow, with newfound energy, gets up and reaches towards the other Links, only for him to fade into the light and disappear, dying permanently and for the last time as the other Links stare at where he once was.

5. Skull Kid’s Backstory (Majora’s Mask)

In chapter 9, Fierce Deity Link, the Moon is stopped by the four Giants in Termina. Link sees Tael and Tatl reunited, and notes how sweet it is before thanking the Giants and joking with Tatl about how long it took for them to arrive. Skull Kid, meanwhile, shakes in the background, knocked to the ground and not getting up. In a moment of clarity, the mask not having control on him in his moment of emotion, Skull Kid despairingly recounts his tale.

Skull Kid sadly says that he didn’t mean for this to happen, only wondering why the Giants left him. A flashback is then shown from Skull Kid’s point of view, the Giants getting ready to leave as Skull Kid desperately tries to hold them back. “Why?! No! No, you mustn’t! Hey… Wait! I said wait! Don’t go! Hold on! I said wait! Don’t go! Can’t you hear me?!”

He cries out, many times, sometimes even trying to forcibly hold the Giants back and failing drastically. He ends up falling off a cliff, still trying to catch up with the Giants as he’s battered and bruised, still crying, “Don’t go!” He’s then seen travelling across the desert, tripping and folling multiple times, when he accidentally steps in a bird nest. The birds immediately attack him, yelling at him to watch where he’s going and that it’s fun to hurt him by pecking him.

Skull Kid shakily reaches a hand up to keep going, but gives up as rain pours down on him, tears pouring down his face as he stares at the ground in defeat. The flashback fades out, as Skull Kid says a truly heartbreaking line before being taken over by Majora’s Mask once more, initiating the final battle. “I guess… we never really were friends… after all. They didn’t even say goodbye. Nobody likes me. But with this… Everyone will do what I want! This MASK is my only friend!”

RUNNER UPS

Mask Creations (Majora’s Mask) - The deaths of Darmani, the Goron, and Mikau, the Zora, when Link dons both masks to fulfill their final wishes. Darmani, to see his son again and make the child happy, and Mikau, to spend at least one more concert with Lulu and the other members of his band.

Great Mayfly Fairy’s Transformation (Minish Cap) - The transformation at the hands of Vaati of a lovely singing fairy, with a beautiful voice. Link wistfully mentions that she looks a little like Zelda and Vaati, in a fit of mild hysteria at this point, transforms her into a horrible moth creature. Her transformation is shown to be painful and heartwrenching, as is her defeat.

Deku Tree’s Death (Ocarina of Time part 1) - The famous death of the Deku Tree, in manga format. Link is told of his quest by the Deku Tree, and that the Deku Tree is going to die in the next few minutes. Link cries and even punches the tree in a fit of anger and sadness, crying that the Deku Tree can’t leave him until the Deku Tree inevitably dies and Link must leave on his quest.

Green’s Defeat Against Vio (Four Swords part 2) - When the four Links are finally reunited, Green, Red, and Blue face Vio and Shadow in a battle to the death with Green fighting Vio. Their battle comes to a close as Green falls to the ground, seemingly stabbed through the gut as Vio walks off victorious. Red and Blue yell at Vio and cry over Green, until it’s revealed after Vio and Shadow leave that it was all a ruse and Green was only knocked out.

Zelda and Link’s Meeting (A Link to the Past) - Link finds Zelda in a dungeon, and Zelda tearfully recalls how she had almost given up hope of rescue, stating that she thought she had been all alone until Link had finally found her. Link then embraces her, stating that he heard her voice and she was never alone.

[manicdragondreamgirl]

I haven’t had chemistry since like 2008, and I’m also an idiot who likes to make my friends upset, so I rated the periodic table in order to tilt my friends:

Hydrogen - this is like your childhood friend who has always been with you more or less and always will be down to get a drink and chill even tho you haven’t spoken in years. Solid bro imo 7.5/10

Helium - always down for a good time, even if probably created Alvin and the Chipmunks which in some places is considered a war crime. 4/10

Lithium - Gives me bitchy vibes and is flammable as fuck if I remember. Skinny bitch with an attitude 3/10

Beryllium - idk this sounds like a sailor moon villain lol for that it can have a 6/10

Boron - more like BORONG amirite ha ha wait no seriously I have no idea lol 5/10 clean neutral rating

Carbon - *screaming* 2/10 I will not be taking questions

Nitrogen - cool cool cool tight tight tight 9/10 Nitrogen just is the cool hot chick you wish you were

Oxygen - kid who takes up all the glory for the group project even tho you did all the work, 4/10 for natural charisma

Fluorine - lol what are you knockoff chlorine lmfao bitch 3/10 reminds me of the dentist

Neon - I can vibe with this boy for his contributions to signs which cause my eyes to scream 8/10 modernized Art Deco thanks you

Sodium - 10/10 this is me and I won’t be taking questions next element

Magnesium - magnesium is a close relative of magnificent and therefore I think the case is closed folks 9/10

Aluminum - 10/10 for providing a home to my Diet Coke addiction I’d be dead without you

Silicon - 6.9/10 :smirk:

Phosphorous - This has a very soundly name and it’s welcome to do that but idk, not a fan, seems like he’d be smelly, 2/10

Sulfur - 1/10 pretty sure that dog farts are purely comprised of this and as such if I was leaving negative ratings I would

Chlorine - 7.8/10 for being in pools so we could swim without brain eating amoeba in the south you a champ

Argon - he seems like a nerd jk this guy has a good color 9/10 for just being himself

Potassium - I hate bananas and this word gives me the physical sensation of biting into one but only by thinking of abstract letters and making them into something which we can nutrientise from bananas and to me that shit is bananas, b a n a n a s — 3/10 for making me sing hollaback girl thru adhd word association

Calcium - hm my brain went to mega milk so you get a 2/10 today bud I don’t make the rules

Scandium - pretty sure this is fake lol what’s next faxdium, e-Mailite and copinium? 5/10

Titanium - this song’s a banger and also is the only thing that lets me wear earrings 10/10

Vanadium - if your erection lasts for longer than like idk it’s supposed to then don’t take vanadium wait what do you mean it’s not an ED treatment 4/10

Chromium - decent bloke shame the browser eats all your memory 5/10

Manganese - if a weeb tries to tell me how to pronounce mayonnaise one more time... 1/10

Iron - excellent tool against the fey, in your blood, what a bro, 10/10 this bitch slaps

Cobalt - has a powerful energy; I respect him. 8/10

Nickel - if I had a nickel for every time someone made this joke lol 5/10 he’s doing his best

Copper - taste bad 3/10

Zinc - isn’t that the dude in the green tunic and white tights who saves premcess Lelda or something lol 7/10 those games are good

Gallium - seems like a prick 4/10

Germanium - sounds like a child pronouncing geraniums which are superior 3/10

Arsenic - bad vibes coach 1/10

Selenium - isn’t this just sailor moon lol 10/10 love this bitch

Bromine - farmine wherever you aremine - 9/10 I love a good bro

Krypton - he’s okay I guess 5/10

Rubidium - yet another Steven universe villain who will be redeemed I imagine 4/10 seems a bit dull

Strontium - I feel nothing when I see this lad’s name and that seems like a shame 1/10 I don’t like it

Yttrium - this is an atrium in Yharnam, or something 8/10 would love to sit in one and make contact with higher beings

Zirconium - oh wait THIS is the sailor moon villain from the dead moon circus! 9/10 I enjoyed that arc

Niobium - seems sassy, I like that in an element 7/10

Molybdenum - I hate this one, rancid. 1/10 for making me have flashbacks to difficult Ancient Greek vocabulary there is no fucking way that sound combination is anything but Beta and Delta borking and then Latin being like oh imma steal that

Technetium - 6/10 decent name but seems a bit forced

Ruthenium - 5/10 kindly old lady element I guess lol

Rhodium - 10/10 this ain’t my first rhodium babee this lad has good vibes what a name what a king

Palladium - 10/10 for making me think of paladins

Silver - 12/10 I’m breaking the rules for this silver is the best it is so cool and also it is the other best tool for dealing with supernatural creatures when iron has failed you highly suggest Even if I am extremely allergic to it going into my ears...wait hold on

Cadmium - 2/10 sounds like a total douche

Indium - 8/10, i just think it’s independent and neat

Tin - 10/10 good ear sounds when involving rain and roof shapes and automatically reminds me of Nora Jones’s come away with me album which is also 10/10

Antimony - 7/10 decent protagonist good name all around seems rad

Tellurium - tell ur mom what? That’s so early 2010s league of legends humor bro 2.5/10

Iodine - strikes fear in my soul from having it poured on my wounds but this is why I have more pain tolerance than god 5.3/10

Xenon - I think this is a declension of Xena warrior princess which is a win in my eyes, 8/10

Caesium - kind of has a cunty Latin name, 4.5/10

Barium - yeah boss, bury’im! 7.5/10 I love a good mobster gag

Lanthanum - A bit pretentious on the Tolkien spectrum sorry bud 3/10 sounds like you’d be the dickwad elf everyone hates

Cerium - 6.5/10 I like this one, gives me a clean vibe

Praseodymium - the fuck who sneezed all their alphabet soup onto the paperwork and called it an element Christ we can’t keep doing this 1.5/10

Neodymium - oh my god what did I just say 1/10

Promethium - thank Christ we’re back to greek 9/10 Prometheus was a Chad I could get behind

Samarium - 5/10 gives me boring wizard vibes

Europium - 4.5/10 don’t rename opium chrissake can’t take these nerds anywhere

Gadolinium - 5/10 it’s a starship knockoff but it’s trying to be bold with the G sound

Terbium - 2/10 I don’t vibe with this one

Dysprosium - sounds like an antidepressant that has a lot of shitty side effects 3/10

Holmium - sounds like someone anxious asking their beloved to hold them 8/10 I like hurt/comfort fics

Erbium - you can’t just describe something as herby you daft bastard 2/10

Thulium - sounds like a spell I like it 8.5/10

Ytterbium - macguffin in a shite sci-fi show that gets highly overrated because BBC produced it and superwholock stans emerge and go utterly feral 1/10

Lutetium - bards are an element I agree 10/10

Hafnium - sounds like a river (my dog) sound and has a cute vibe, I’d offer it head pats 7/10

Tantalum - noooo you can’t be sad yuor so sexe haha 6.9/10 tantalizing

Tungsten - 10/10 this is a lad with history

Rhenium - 5.5/10 it’s ok

Osmium - 4/10 I wasn’t a big wizard of oz fan

Iridium - 9/10 sounds like iridescent and that’s in my top 10 favorite words and concepts

Platinum - 10/10 best Pokémon game

Gold - 7.9/10 all that glitters and all but it’s still pretty on some people, silver is better tho

Mercury - yikes 8/10 so it doesn’t kill me

Thallium - sounds like the brother character in a ps4 exclusive western rpg that oddly falls under the radar in terms of reviews and gets shafted at awards for no reason 7/10 I’ll support you tho

Lead - 2/10 that’s gonna be a no from me dawg pretty sure I still have lead in my hands from stabbing myself with my mechanical pencils

Bismuth - 6/10 sounds good in mouth and reminds me of biscuits for some reason, I’ll take it

Polonium - to thine own self be true so stop trying to act like the arts don’t influence science jk pretty sure this is named for Poland but hey that’s where we get the Witcher so you get a pass 6/10

Astatine - 1/10 I don’t even know what you are

Radon - 7/10 this motherfucker knows his shit and how to party, rad is right

Francium - I bring you francium...and I bring you myrdurdium... 7/10 for a good vine

Radium - killed the video star probably 9/10 I can get behind her

Actinium - as opposed to passtinium I prefer actinium in the voice of writing 8/10

Thorium - overrated Norse god 5/10 because lightning is still cool

Protactinum - sounds like some pretentious condom brand 4/10 wouldn’t do it with a dude who bought these

Uranium - I always thought she was a hot sailor scout 10/10

Neptunium - same for her I knew they weren’t cousins you couldn’t lie to me 4kids 10/10

Plutonium - sounds like a macguffin unfortunately 5/10

Americium - I read this with a pivotal letter missing and nearly died, 7/10 for the laugh

Curium - 10/10 gives me Curie vibes and also reminds me of curiosity which reminds me of—[old yellered before the association could set in]

Berkelium - what I shout when I want Burke (fam dog) to slaughter innocents and raze territories 2/10 world was not meant to know his commands

Californium - 1/10 California is cool with geography but probs could stand to chill with the ego sorry to my friends in Cali

Einsteinium - 6/10 it’s alright but we’re really running out of ideas huh

Fermium - 3/10 this one is porny

Mendelevium - 1/10 my brain didn’t like parsing this and I stand by my earlier statement of running out of good names

Nobelium - 0/10 you didn’t name any noble gases this cowards this gas can’t be a noble oh wait it’s NOBEL I take it back 5/10 seems an alright chap

Lawrencium - fear the old blood my sorry dead hunter’s ass I’ll never get back my life from the hours I spent trying to beat this lava shitting bastard 2/10 for being a boss who eats Taco Bell specifically before being challenged to have fresh lava shit with which to punish you for having the audacity to exist in his space

Rutherfordium - my god what a snob 4.2/10 I respect him a little but only because he sounds like a right lad

Dubnium - DROP THE BASS 10/10

Seoborgium - not sure about this one but it can have a 7/10

Bohrium - as an American English speaker this sound combination makes my pathetic throat become a black hole as I try to properly create the sound of it 10/10 I love when my body becomes a massive void in the universe

Hassium - lazy 2/10

Elements 109-118 can go fuck themselves I hate them all, collective 6.66/10 for their general demonic vibe

[tsuta-ruins]

Everybody meet Merp! He is my beloved pal I've had him for 3 and a half years and (he's about 4). Merp is actually my main familiar as well, I say main because my dog Oni is also my familiar. When one is down the other is always there to give me their energy and assistance when I need it, as I said Merp does generally pull more weight when it comes to the magickal aspect of my life haha. He assisted me this evening with a deep cleanse and boost of my tarot deck. Here are pictures of him offering some of his innate psychic energy to enhance the power of my tarot deck!

(Lizards are VERY heavily associated with psychic abilities and divination!!).

So do you guys have a familiar? If so show them off or talk about them in the comments (purely spiritual familiars are welcome of course too! Not always do you come across an actual animal familiar!)

Blessed be lovelies🌸🖤!

Reminder: NEVER EVER force an animal to be your familiar, it's a lot of energetic stress. An animal will make it very clear naturally that they have chosen you and want to work with you spiritually. I know we all love our pets and wish they could all be our familiars but the truth is most pets are just loving family members and they deserve your care so don't harm them by putting pressure/stress on them. You will find a familiar, it just takes time💜 I promise.

[cheekbites-moved]

ok i still havent gotten the secret ending but farming for it might take me a bit so im gonna make a thoughts post for age of calamity now:

Major spoilers obvs so ill put it under a read more

things i enjoyed:

revali beatdown simulator

the controls for the divine beasts are a bit clunky, but i think the angles they used for them did an excellent job at really making the player feel like we were actually controlling a divine beast. so i think it was done well.

link’s personality really gets to shine full force in this game with the amount of cut scenes and it was wonderful to see

every character clearly had a lot of love put into how they operate. they truly all feel unique, & all of their play styles fit them really well in my opinion

the game does a really good job of making you understand what a real threat the monsters are. like in botw they’re intimidating at first, but once you’re far enough into the game they become just an inconvenience to work around if anything. this game managed to actually make certain monsters intimidating for me again, and i think that’s a real accomplishment

the blight battles are actually somewhat challenging in this game and that is truly a commendable achievement lol i think all the bosses are good tbh. i didnt rly dislike or not enjoy any of them.

the way daruk and link’s friendship & urbosa’s motherly relationship towards zelda got to shine was. so good. it’s all i could’ve ever wanted

seeing the descendants again was really nice & it was awesome to see the champions interacting with them!! especially sidon and mipha omggggg. that was. really fucking good shit

kohga. just. kohga in general. getting to see more of him was really rad, he’s such a fun guy! and his english va was Excellent. you could really tell he was having a lot of fun playing him, and it was lovely to see! :)

zelda getting to really shine in this game was also lovely to see. and her being so assertive and badass by the end? omg. it was so wonderful especially after botw. man. 

the combat is done very well imo. im rly glad that they took so many elements from botw, but also added their own flares to make it feel fresh. it was rad.

sidon’s tagline is “winning smile” and his power is “boundless optimism” and i think that’s beautiful

the music in this game is SOOOOO good oh my god. multiple times during playing i had to pause to just appreciate it. it’s pretty much all remixes of botw with a few originals for the new characters, but they all slap. there was not a single song in this game i didn’t like. it is definitely one of my favorite video game soundtracks officially. maybe one of my favorite overall soundtracks in general tbh.

the visuals obviously look just like botw, but it still looked fucking gorgeous at some points. like. man. they really went off to make it look not only faithful to botw as far as appearance goes, but also as far as capturing botw’s beauty and it was. excellent to see!

if anything is true to botw’s backstory, it’s definitely how op link is. cause he was established to be op in botw, & when u finish botw he is also op as hell. he is so fun to play as the higher leveled he gets. he absolutely kicks ass. especially with a two-handed weapon??? daaaaammmmnnn. thats my badass baby boy!!!!

link eating rocks not once, but TWICE. just showing PEAK gremlin energy. 10/10 for those scenes they were great

the ending was really beautiful actually and i did cry like a little baby for it what about it

things i didn’t like:

obviously first and foremost.. this is not the game we were advertised. and no matter how much i overall enjoyed the game, it will always have some layer of being tainted attached to it due to the false advertising. this is not the prequel we thought we’d be getting. & not using “prequel” specifically doesn’t matter when all the advertising, including the box art talks about this being the story of what happened 100 years ago. with no indication it wasn’t the story of what happened 100 years ago in the botw timeline, but a separate universe/timeline entirely. i do hope we get dlc for the game at some point giving us what we were advertised, but at the same time... rly wish that the story that’s in the final game was dlc, & the story we were promised was the original :/ or just having the game have two separate storylines originally would’ve been cool. i just wish it wasn’t falsely advertised. 

fort hateno can fucking eat my whole entire shit WHY is that part so needlessly obnoxious compared to everything else oh my god

being forced to fulfill revali’s power fantasy TWICE hurt my soul

fuck any mission where you have to protect the useless hylian guards. i hate them. they suck.

the ai for player characters when you aren’t playing as them can also be pretty useless. it was really frustrating failing missions because my fellow party members weren’t helping me, and i was basically expected to be in two places at once to get shit done myself. :/ ik you can just switch between characters to make it easier, but like. i like playing as link the most. he’s my favorite character, & ofc since he’s mandatorily played for most of the story, he’s gonna be the most leveled up character regardless so he’s just the best to play as in general especially for harder missions. it was annoying to be forced to play as other people Solely cause the ai was so useless.

king rhoam’s attempt at a redemption arc. i’m not sorry that i just fucking hate this man. i don’t mind him entirely in botw bc you can see clear, genuine remorse during the cut scene at the end of the great plateau. but the redemption arc he gets in this game? after all the fucking shit he does in this game? especially when after his ~redemption arc~ i had to sit through a cut scene of him being an absolute fucking asshole to baby zelda after her mother just died????? absolutely fuck that shit. i don’t appreciate that crap at fucking all. he’s a verbally abusive piece of shit and i hate his guts.

obviously there was gonna be some retconning of how certain things worked in botw in order to make this kinda game work but the way sheikah technology works in this game is so goddamn confusing i do not get it. the works of botw are never outright said or explained completely, but it’s straightforward enough that it doesn’t really matter. this game does try to explain certain things and it just becomes. really clunky and confusing very quickly. 

the story is alright, i guess, but..... really confusing/convoluted as hell at times to a point that it’s. really fucking distracting. especially in comparison to how straightforward botw’s story is. like..... cannot help but be annoyed that such a problem wouldn’t have been a thing if they stuck to botw’s story.

i was sad when the egg thing died but i dont like the egg thing.... it is the MAIN reason shit was retconned so much & i just. dont get its purpose. but i did really like the reveal that zelda made it herself. that was good shit!

also the egg glitched out like. a LOT. idk what the fuck was going on with the poor thing but there was multiple times during a cut scene or when i was just sitting there that it was freaking out in the background and it was rly weird

elemental overworld boss monsters................. obnoxious. especially elemental guardians like goddamn bro what the fuck

i know warriors’ games aren’t about exploring anyway but the limitations for exploring was really sad/frustrating. this is still somewhat the world of hyrule before the calamity, which is something we’ve always wanted to see. not being able to explore even the immediate area at certain points because of shit like timed missions was really upsetting, man. :( i just wanted to see hyrule castle Before the calamity why was did they have to rob us like that.....

creepy corrupted egg’s transformation. why. what was that. what the fuck

even though i did enjoy the boss fights, it did get. incredibly taxing eventually to have to fight the SAME bastards so many times. like yeah botw is also guilty of this with the blights, but goddamn.... at least i have a choice to avoid certain encounters with them? this game has you fighting the same bitches like upwards of 3-4 times. it was. really annoying tbh. like the fights themselves are enjoyable, but damn we added new characters and it still inevitably lacked variety in boss fights.

no playable kass >:( if he’s available later in dlc then fine but i wish he was playable in the original game. so many random choices you’d never expect are. why couldn’t he also be there >:(

overall:

it will forever have that sour taste for the false advertising attached to it unfortunately, but that aside, i overall did enjoy the game! i think it has a lot to love in spite of the issues i encountered. as someone who has this as their first warriors game as well, it did lend itself to letting me see the appeal of them. idk if i’ll get more, but i do get why they’re so beloved/popular now. it was an alright time, with some amazing highlights that i’m gonna think back on very fondly for a very, very long time. if i had to rate it..... 7/10 

[elizabeatrice]

Mystery Spot (Chapter 68)

Let’s Talk About JSHK Manga #4

If you get the title reference, I applaud you.

Warning: 1) !!! MANGA SPOILERS UP TO CHAPTER 68 !!! Duh.

2) I dropped a couple of f bombs and several curses here ... I really ranted lmao.

3) This reaction/review is closer to me spewing wild theories rather than an actual review. But these wild theories are my reactions. So. Ehhh these theories are probably wrong anyway. Lemme have my dark, twisted fun, mkay? Not sure if they’re entirely coherent though.

Had trouble copying some kanji this time around ‘cause they’re so freaking blurry! So I got too lazy to write this yesterday haha. Thank you Ropes of Fate for the translation! Truly commendable heroes of the fandom *sobs*. I also used three panels from Chapter 61, translated by Caim.

Let’s jump into it (ba dum tss).

This chapter is a bit shorter than usual and boy do you feel it. Well. At least I do. But I really hope sensei are taking some time to relax. Last chapter was 45 pages, after all. Y’all deserve it you wonderful creators.

First of all I would like to dedicate the biggest f bomb for the villagers because what the fuck. Why the fuck would you sacrifice poor, innocent young girls just to keep yourself safe? And it’s not even a sacrifice to kami-sama! Y’all just droppin’ these girls to be eaten by supernaturals! And y’all practically manipulated them smh.

Are y’all insane?! Y’all could’ve just moved the fuck out. What kind of insane people just decide to stay near a literal pit of hell? Don’t give me the ‘we’ve lived here for generations’ bs okay ‘cause y’all neighbors be getting eaten by supernaturals but y’all rather trade innocent young girls for your own safety. If Berkians and Asgardians can suck it up and be the bigger nation with all that ‘Berk/Asgard is not a place it’s the people’ shit, y’all can too.

I’ve disliked characters in JSHK before. But I’ve never hated JSHK characters before. Until now. Y’all fucking did it, dumbass villagers.

Ahem. Pardon me.

Because my brain is a literal self-debate machine let me just say that I did consider several possibilities in these ‘people’’s defense. There’s the obvious ‘some people back then didn’t know any better and believe a human sacrifice will solve everything’ mindset. Then there’s the possibility of them being trapped in their village for some reason, hence not having any other choice but to sacrifice those girls.

But y’know what else could be the case? ‘Cause my mind really went dark there for a bit.

The Minamoto clan let it happen.

In the last chapter it was mentioned that the Minamoto clan was involved. And this is a bit shocking now that I think about it more ‘cause Teru has always been adamant that all supernaturals are evil and must be exorcised, humans must be protected.

But what if they just let the villagers sacrifice these girls so that the monsters can be contained in this village, in that pit, instead of running amok to other places and cause more trouble?

Which makes me wonder.

Uh. Where did Teru go to? Does he know about this? Did he go to that pit (or that village, if Kamome Academy wasn’t built on its land)?

If he does know, isn’t he interested in saving a fellow human student and underclassman? If he does know about the Akane clan, isn’t he interested in telling his VP, who’s obsessed with an Akane? Unless ... you know ... he meant for this to happen, which I kinda doubt.

He must know something about this. He went out of his way to make Akane promise to protect Kou if something were to happen. What’s more dangerous than the Grim Reaper showing up looking for a sacrifice who turned out to be Kou’s beloved senpai’s best friend? What if Akane had to choose between Aoi and Kou at some point?

Okie next I wanna talk about Hanako. This is gonna sound just as far fetched as the previous bit lmao but here goes.

Boiiii y’all saw it. The pause before his answer. His face drawn out of view, in an evasive body language.

(Hanako my boy pls do us all a favor and stop lying to your girlfriend, we all know how well that turned out in Picture Perfect lmao)

Theory. He knew what’s been going on all along. Or at least the gist of it.

Remember this?

Imma take a detour a lil bit.

The Far Shore/torii gate refused Nene in chapter 67, right? In my Chapter 67 reaction I said it was the bracelet that saved her but now I think the bracelet probably disguised her as Sumire in the villagers’ eyes. So the Far Shore/torii gate refused her, and we all thought it was because she wasn’t an Akane.

But then we found out that Hanako was right about the village. It was just a ‘made up world’ inside Shinigami’s boundary. It’s just a reenactment of the day Sumire died, probably based on Shinigami’s memories, as the first page of Chapter 64 said.

So of course Nene was refused. Because in his memories, Sumire was the one who fell into the pit that day.

Sumire also said in this chapter’s narration that the villagers sacrificed young girls. Not Akane girls. Also, before the sacrifices began, the monsters already ate villagers anyway, right? They didn’t only eat young girls. It wasn’t said as such. The villagers probably just chose young girls because that’s sorta like the equivalent of offering the best meat or smth. Practically a please accept our humble offering of tenderloin wagyu, O Horrible Monsters.

The coveted bloodline thing was probably a plus, not obligatory. Often in stories, people with high ‘spiritual energy’ are supposed to taste more delicious and grant whoever eats their meat special powers or smth (e.g. Tang Sanzang from Journey to the West). Also ancient cultures sacrifice young girls often, that was the trend.

And they proceeded to try to sacrifice Nene anyway, despite her not being an Akane. They said it themselves. “It doesn’t matter if it’s that girl.”

So according to the (rather vague) information we have, it’s possible that the sacrifice doesn’t have to be an Akane or a girl.

Some of y’all have been theorizing that the Yugi twins got involved with supernaturals, and that sorta lead to their death.

What if this is it?

I myself am not sure how it went down if this is really the case. But I keep imagining our boy’s infamous ‘I’m not going anywhere’ being said by Sumire because bruh she’s the epitome of not going anywhere. She was chosen to be sacrificed since she was a child, not given a choice. Even after she died and became a yorishiro, she was imprisoned in this time prison world or whatever, reliving her death every single day with no escape.

And I couldn’t help but think ‘hoooo shit what if???’

I mean. I don’t know who was the chosen sacrifice. Could be Tsukasa, could be Amane. Maybe he killed his brother so that he wouldn’t get sacrificed, and decided that he’ll die along with his brother. I’m not going anywhere. Maybe it also means I’m not letting you send my brother to be eaten by monsters, and since we can’t escape either, we’re staying here no matter what.

And if the Minamotos were really in on it, it makes sense for Grandma Minamoto to accuse Amane of being an evil murderer. He practically got in the way ‘of other people’s safety’ by killing the chosen sacrifice.

banjjakz also said something about the possibility of Tsukasa being a previous sacrifice. Read about it here and here. It’s pretty interesting!

Besides, a wonder whose precious person got sacrificed and later became their yorishiro? That’d be some parallel, haha.

Sure, Sumire said ‘if the kannagi was switched’. But the early narration didn’t mention a sacrifice of kannagi. Just ‘young girls’.

Look just lemme have this, alright?

Oh. Also I wanted to point out the possible tension/trust issues between Hanako and Nene but many other blogs have pointed it out quite well so I’m just gonna stick with my wild theories.

But I will address what Nene said about the pit.

Where is said pit anyway? In Kamome? Why is it open? Is it Tsukasa changing rumors and allowing more supernaturals to cross back to the Near shore? More likely. I mean, he does grant wishes for supernaturals after all.

Oh. Speaking of Nene. Let’s give her a round of applause for her character development. She’s become of better judgement regarding men’s terrible behavior. Wow. That’s my girl. I mean, we still don’t know much about Shinigami, but from what I’ve seen so far, Sumire guuuurrrrllllll you deserve better.

Regardless of my ships, these supernatural boys should take notes from my precious Kou and how he loves so selflessly. Lmao. Remember that one post-chapter panels in Picture Perfect where he said he’ll find Nene a prince in the real world, even though he likes her? Broooo I want ten of this precious boy.

Lastly, Akane and Aoi.

Where are they? They look like they’re stranded in some wild boundary somewhere, the one with half sunken houses and lost things that usually appear in color spreads. I am so hyped, ‘cause I love the aesthetics, and I wanna see more of this place.

Oh. And Akane’s alive. Phew. I gotta be honest though, I kinda looked forward to his death. Not because I hate the kiddo. He’s technically still human, right. I’m just wondering whether his death or Aoi’s would cause Teru to outright declare war against the Seven Wonders because aren’t these folks supposed to protect students like they claim to be? (This, of course, ignores my previous theories about the Minamoto clan)

Basically I just wanna see some shit go down with Teru mkay ‘cause this powerful dude has been useless for quite too long now.

Aoi’s still pretty confusing, too. She went from this weird expression:

to this:

She kinda looked like she was still under the influence of the drug thingy. But she was also concerned about Akane, even though it’s not like how she worried about Nene in the past. And she knew Akane longer than her, they practically grew up together. Real Aoi would be in tears seeing his condition, y’all. So I guess the drug thingy’s effect is slowly wearing out.

Closing! JSHK is dark but usually not in ways my brain expects it to be. (And a lot of times I still get surprised with the amount of comedy it has lmao.) Sooo sensei are probably gonna prove me wrong about most of these, anyway. Haha.

As always feel free to discuss.

[finding-fallen-stars]

YGO Questionnaire Part 2 Electric Boogaloo

So, my gf/bf @howaboutalittlehelpneos tagged me to do this again a... good long while ago, and I had wanted to wait until I'd finished my GX rewatch before trying this again. But ouch oof I accidentally also got through all of 5Ds again before getting to this lol

But the 5Ds rewatch definitely reshaped a lot of my thoughts, so... cracks knuckles. This won't be spoiler free, fair warning~

Favorite Series: ugh the formatting killed my original essay on this but okay GX and 5Ds are pretty tied in my book, now-- I love them equally, but in different ways! GX fulfills my love for subversive coming-of-age stories with a heartwarming, humorous, and also soulcrushing touch, and I love how each season brings a new story and new characters-- it's like reading installments of a novel series, and I think the formatting works wonders for it as a whole. It has some absolutely phenomenal character writing, too-- even the characters I dislike are ones I can appreciate for what they introduce to the story! And honestly, not enough people give the first two seasons of GX the credit it deserves: they're half the charm, really. How are you going to feel the full impact of the heartbreaking content in seasons 3 and 4 if you aren't properly attached to the characters?

But on 5Ds's side of things... it fulfills my love for stories with time loops, found family, human nature, and of course, love and death and how they intertwine. I love how the leading characters are just a bunch of broken kids from broken circumstances who all find a home with each other, and of course, how it highlights class disparity and how fucked up the prison/"justice" systems are. Yea, sure, maybe it underwent executive meddling and all, but I genuinely love it for what it is and I wish more people appreciated it... my only problem with 5Ds is the untwist with Z-ONE and then the ending s m h I adore it overall and I could go off for a long while on it. Overall, these are my two instinctive recommendations for anyone getting into Yugioh!

(look at these boys they're so important) Favorite Protagonist: Oh, believe me, absolutely nothing has changed here-- Yusei Fudo is and always will be my favorite protagonist, and my rewatch only solidified that.

I just... love him so much? He's seen so much hell in his life and carries so much guilt on his shoulders, but he still has room in his heart to believe in others and to believe that anyone can defy fate and find hope even at rock bottom. I love that he's initially introduced as this quiet, brooding figure when he really just turns out to be a huge softie who wears his heart on his sleeve half the time and wants to bring about change for Satellite and its people. Plus I just really love that his greatest flaw is something that would ordinarily be a positive trait-- he's Overly self-sacrificial, to the point where he's basically setting himself on fire to keep others warm, and that's not really framed as something Heroic

Just... he makes me so happy. I have two Yusei charms that I ordinarily keep on my keys (one was a gift from Zenzen) and they're a constant source of serotonin for me. He's Peak comfort character for me. Best protag in my book Favorite Rival: Same deal here-- still Manjoume!

look at him he's so important

While he spends a lot of the anime getting the good old damsel in distress treatment (getting suckered into a cult, getting knocked into a coma, becoming a zombie, getting fucking Killed, etc), I still think his character arc is really well-written overall and I only appreciated it even more when I watched GX again. I love the fact that he's got a soft heart he buries beneath the edgy facade, and that he's simultaneously really sharp and also kind of dense lol. He's just a fun character and watching how he evolves from episode one to episode one hundred eighty is such a satisfying journey.

Plus, props to him for being such a versatile duelist-- 50 wins in a row is HARD as is, let alone with a deck full of cards he just found laying around in the Arctic. Three ace monsters, three different archetypes... he's a really good duelist and I'm proud of him for it

Oh, but honestly, I don't really dislike any of the rivals-- I'm neutral towards Revolver and Reiji, but the remaining four (Kaiba, Manjoume, Jack, and Shark) compel me. yes I accidentally wound up liking Jack Atlas shhh Favorite BFF: Honestly, I really like most of the characters who fit this archetype-- Joey, Crow, Gongenzaka, Soulburner... I still lean a little bit more towards Joey, but I really appreciate all four of them. I'm gonna say Joey again, just because I find his evolution as a character the most compelling, but I appreciate the other three a lot. Soulburner has the best design though Favorite GFF: Oh absolutely still Aki, but I honestly... really love most female Yugioh characters? I'm assuming this is lead girls only, but like. I'm dumb and gay and I love Girls so this is naturally the most difficult one for me to answer lol

Aki just resonates with me the most because she's the prime example of how trauma doesn't always manifest in palatable ways-- when we first meet her, she's angry and lashes out at anyone and anything just because she wants the world to suffer in the same ways she's suffered, and then... we get to watch her grow from that, once she's free from Divine and able to heal the way she needs to heal. I know the second half of 5Ds didn't give her character the attention it deserved, but I'm still proud of her for winding up on the path she did-- seeing her channel her power and energy into wanting to heal and help others was just so good and was one of the few things I really Loved about the 5Ds ending.

oh, but like. Asuka Tenjoin and Aoi Zaizen are very close seconds for me!!! Aki just has a vice grip on my heart Favorite Villain: Okay, it's still technically Vector-- I think he's the most entertaining, well-written, and effective villain out of all of the ones we've seen so far, but... I also want to add Takuma Saiou and then all of Yliaster as honorable mentions?

As someone fond of tarot myself, I was naturally pretty intrigued by Saiou the first time I watched GX, but my attachment to him only grew the second time around where I actually got the chance to understand his character better. Plus, like... the visuals with him are fucking astounding and he's always so interesting to watch.

As for Yliaster, I just... really love how the big bad of 5Ds turned out to just essentially be a broken man desperate to save anyone and anything and three robotic reconstructions of the friends he'd lost. I still think the untwist with Z-ONE was stupid and I much prefer the idea of him and Yusei being the same person, but I'm still compelled by the other three-- well. Paradox less so, because we don't get a lot of Paradox lore, but. Aporia and Antinomy for sure.

ugh Yugioh has some damn good villains

Favorite Card: now that I actually play the TCG game...

Stardust is always going to be my favorite of all cards because it checks every box for me (my favorite YGO character's ace monster, space theme, what more could I want), but Aromaseraphy Rosemary has really become one of my aces in my best TCG deck! I'm still mastering irl plays, but I'm happy with my progress and I love my plant gang...

Favorite Episode: alright, here's where there's actually been a Lot of change, so...

Season 0: Episode 16: "Turnabout by a Hair's Breadth - The White-Robed Crisis" -- The more I think about this one, the more I love it; there's a... lot of corruption in the medical industry, and I've seen a lot of it firsthand, so just. Seeing a corrupt doctor get what he deserved at the end was cathartic, in a way? Plus, a Jounouchi-centric episode is always a good time.

Duel Monsters: Episodes 96-97: "Darkness vs. Darkness/One Turn Kill" -- this hasn't changed, I still love seeing Marik and Bakura bitch at each other for two whole episodes LMAO

GX: Episode 152: "Activate Super-Fusion! Rainbow Neos" -- This one hasn't changed and it likely never will-- I take so much pride in seeing Judai push forward, past the fear and guilt he's carrying, all to save Johan... it's cathartic and I never get sick of watching it.

5Ds: sweats. still all of Crash Town, but also episodes 137-147-- the Ark Cradle is one of my favorite parts of 5Ds and one of my favorite YGO arcs period, and even though each duel is a fucking gut punch, I love the emotional intensity and weight in each episode... It hurts but in a mostly good way

Zexal: Episode 143: "The Aloof Duelist 'Nasch': The Destined Final Duel" -- this one hasn't changed! Still hurts, still love it, I still weep over Ryouga Shark Kamishiro on a daily basis

Arc-V: Episodes 81-82: "Our Respective Battlefields/The Ultimate Falcon VS The Black-Feathered Thunder" -- Okay, honestly, this was hard because I... genuinely. really don't like Arc-V very much at all lol (it's just not my cup of tea, but more power to those who do like it!), but I thought this duel was a lot of fun! Shun is my absolute favorite from Arc-V and I really like the friendship he struck up with Crow a lot, so here we are

VRAINS (so far): Episode 25-26: "Virus Deck Operation/Three Draws Leading to Hope" -- honestly I am so biased because I just really love Blue Angel and I loved seeing her get a well-deserved victory like this lol. I'm not done with VRAINS, so this is probably gonna change, but anytime Blue Angel or Soulburner are on screen, I'm happy

Favorite Decks to Use: Aromages will always have my heart, but I adore Cyber Angels too! I'm building my Trickstar deck, my Synchron/Stardust deck (just waiting on Dawn of Majesty...), and my Magician Girls deck, too! Fusion, Ritual, Synchro, XYZ, Pendulum, or Link?: Synchros my beloved... but also Ritual Years in fandom: I've been here for just a little over one year now! and I wuv it... I'm never looking back Who am I tagging: no one I'm too shy

[blackypanther9]

Part 30 - Prices

Loki's POV....

I was shocked. She didn't lie. At first I thought she was... I am a monster... I killed my own father, who actually loved me...

Your POV....

The next memory was the war on Midgard. The Frost Giants fled back as they saw that they were too weak. I was standing in the study of Odin, he sat in his chair. He sighed.

"We will attack Jotunheim in 3 days. Laufey won't guess that we would come and take away their casket. And if Laufey behaves I will let him live and just strip him off his powers."

"Then it is decided. I will make the warriors ready.", I sighed.

I was about to walk out.

"Destiny ?", Odin said, I stopped.

"Yes ?"

"I am sorry. I know he was your best friend with Jackson, but he did a crime."

"I know Odin."

"I just wish to know why he did that."

I froze up.

"I...I..."

'Should I tell him ? I would fall into Laufey’s back if I did... I need to do something... At least for his son...'

"I have no idea, my King.", I said and walked out.

The next memory...

I sat in a room, I guess that was my own. I meditated on my bed. We all saw my vision I had.

I was in Jotunheim fighting. I needed to kill. I didn't want to, but I had to. Suddenly I had a ice spike go through my chest. I died. I saw darkness, until I saw a little Frost Giant. Laufey’s son. I saw him getting 5 years old and then die.

"NO !", I screamed and opened my eyes.

I panted and looked around my room. I was crying.

'What do I do ? I need to save him, at least the boy.'

Then my mind snapped. My eyes sparkled.

'I have an idea. I just need him out of Jotunheim. If I manipulate Odin good enough, then he will take him and raise him.'

I frowned more.

'I am so sorry you two, that I need to separate you... Now I need to prepare a letter.'

I stood up and went to a desk and chair. I took a pen and started writing...

Dear Odin,

My King, if you go deeper into the temple, you will find something special. It is little and blue. Take it with you, please. It is such an innocent little sweet thing. Take it with you and raise it like your own. But please... when it is 6 or 7 years old, tell it the truth. Tell it, it is a Jotun. This is my last living wish of you. Please don't make me sad. Do this little thing a favor and take it with you. I will miss you all, but I hope I will return one day.

~ Your beloved General

~ Destiny Andrea Dust ~

As I was finished, I folded it and hid it.

'Now I need to go to talk with Frigga... I hope she will help me. I have the feeling that he will need Frigga the most. Don't worry Dest, she will surely help you... One day... I will reunite you two. That I fucking swear. To death.'

Next memory....

I was in Frigga’s room, I waited for her.

'Calm your nerves Dust... She will help you, you can tell her the truth. She will keep the secret and help. If I tell Odin he would do things to them, I wouldn't want...'

The door opened and closed, I turned my head and saw Frigga.

"Destiny ! You scared me. Stop your Mischief, you bad woman.", she joked.

I chuckled.

"Sorry Frigga. But we need to talk. I have a problem..."

She frowned.

"Tell me child."

I took a deep breath.

"I can't tell Odin all that. Before I start, promise me that you won't tell Odin anything, okay ? He would kill me and maybe the persons too."

"I promise, Destiny."

"Okay... I know why Laufey did, what he did. He told me. That was 3 weeks and 4 days ago. He was awaiting a son. He must be 4 days old now... The realm, Jotunheim... 60% of it can't be used. Laufey said there are living monsters and beasts, which nobody of them can kill. There where they live...they are too many and the food isn't enough. The beasts and monsters are also coming closer to them. He is worried about his son. He could die after his birth of anything and everything. The most of the Jotuns starve themselves for their kids and women. His wife didn't have enough to eat and with that, the little Frost Giant, will be much smaller than he should. That is his death."

"So...he just did that for his son. He wanted to save him. He needed another planet to have more habitats. Why didn't he ask for help ?"

"He was too scared that nobody would help him in time. I would have needed 8 years to convince Odin to help and the boy will die there with the age of 5 years. But I know how to save the boy’s life. But for that, I need you very much. I need you to do me a very big favor."

"And that may be ? Talk to Odin ? Dear, for that it is too late now."

"What ? No ! I need you to be a great Mother to the boy. I beg you Frigga. My plan won't work without you."

"How should I play his Mother ? Odin will kill him."

"No he won't. I...Frigga I will die in war and that will be my last wish. That he takes the boy here. That he raises him like his own, with Thor. Frost Giants aren't heartless. I saw Laufey cry about his son. He is scared of losing him. But if we take him here, he will grow up. He will live. He has a chance to live ! I need you, for the boy."

  Frigga smiled.

"Well...If the boy comes here, I will, of course, raise him like my own. I love kids and Thor would be happy to have a brother. The most time he would be lonely anyways. Maybe they can entertain each other."

I smiled and giggled.

"Something tells me, that they will with time. At first they will and then they won't and then again they will. They would be great together. Imagine them fighting side by side some day. They would be unstoppable. Can't wait to see that.", I said.

"Me neither. ....", Frigga told.

"What is it Frigga ?"

"How should we name him then ? I can't think about a name."

"...I have such a feeling, that he will be one for Mischief and Tricks... Why don't you call him....Loki ? Loki Odinson. I think it sounds great."

Frigga looked at me. She smiled.

"Loki. That name is perfect. I love that name. He shall have this name. But why do you think he would need me the most ?"

"Odin will probably raise and treat Thor better than Loki. I mean Thor is Odins and your biological son and Loki is then just adopted. The most people and most men, mistreat adopted kids. They mostly realize it just then, when it is too late. I need you to fight for Loki. Please. Always safe him, teach him magic, be there for him. Frigga I really mean it. He will be such a sweet and innocent child, he deserves love. He deserves to live long. Please...give him this, all of it."

She smiled at me.

"You really like the boy, do you ?"

I blushed.

"I....I promised Laufey to safe his son's life. But yes, I also like the boy. I can tell Loki will be something special. I mean he will be from Jotunheim, but grows up in Asgard and learns everything about it there. Something also tells me that he will bring much good. How...I can't tell tho..."

Frigga smiled.

"I will raise him, protect him, teach him and love him, like he is my own. I promise you that. Until my death, he will be my son."

I smiled at her and let tears fall. I hugged her and she hugged me back.

"Thank you Frigga. You are the best friend I ever had."

"You are welcome."

"One more thing..."

We pulled away. Frigga looked at me.

"What ?", she asked.

"If he wants something, which belonged to me...give it to him. Loki will need it more than I did. But never tell him about me. I have a feeling that I will meet him again. I don't want him to know me. You can tell my legends but instead of telling my gender and name...put some other in the story, who is already dead."

She nodded.

"I will. I promise you."

"Thank you Frigga. I need to go. The war against Jotunheim begins any moment. Be prepared. Loki will come today...and I will be dead. We switch places. I will come back, that I swear to you."

She teared up. She hugged me once more.

"I will miss you. I will wait for you. Do you want to say goodbye to Thor too ?"

"I would love to, my Queen."

We went to another room and I saw a little sweet boy. He turned and let his toys fall. He stood up and ran to me to hug my leg.

"Destiny !", the little boy yelled happily.

I smiled, got down and lifted him up.

"Hey little fella. What were you playing Thor ?"

"Bear fighting against rabbit ! Rabbit won !"

I smiled at him and hugged him.

"You will get a little Brother Thor."

"I will ?! YAY !"

"His name will be Loki. Be nice little one, okay ? He is one year younger than you."

"I am big Brother !", he giggled.

"Yes, you are. I want you to watch out for him. Frigga my Queen, can you always remind him on that ?"

"I will.", she said smiling.

"I will miss you all."

"I will miss you too !", Thor said.

I smiled and sat him down again.

"Until next time, little fella."

"Bye !"

As we went out I turned around to look at Frigga.

"See Loki as a...prototype. A replacement of me. And it could be that I will change my name to Luciella Dusk. If you ever hear that name, it will be me. Just don't tell anyone."

"From where do you know that ?"

"I just do. Trust me Frigga. This next time...it will be a lot different. I love you very much. You are my family."

She smiled and I smiled a sad smile at her. I opened her door.

"I need to go now... Until sometime, Frigga."

"I will wait for you, Destiny."

I smiled, walked out and closed the door.

Last memory...

I was fighting in Jotunheim. I killed and saved. After some time I saw Jackson. He was surrounded by Frost Giants.

"Jackson !"

I ran to him and got into the circle. I fought and fought. I didn't even felt someone behind me, until I heard someone gasping. I turned around and saw Jackson stabbed down.

"NO !", I screamed.

I killed all Frost Giants with an energy blast. I got down and held Jackson in my arms.

"Jackson stay with me ! You hear ?!"

"I..I do... Dest...I am scared. Am I....going to....die ?"

I saw his fear. I looked around and saw a guard.

"No not today, Jackson. Hey ! You !", I yelled.

The guard turned to me and ran to me.

"Call Heimdall and bring Jackson, as fast as you can, to the healing wing. NOW !", I screamed.

He nodded, took Jackson in his arms and disappeared in the Bifrost.

'Now it will happen any moment... Okay... Put a spell on yourself to stay 3 minutes longer alive...'

After I put the spell on myself I got stabbed in the heart. I fell to the ground.

"Serves you right, Dust !", a Giant spat at me.

"No ! Destiny ! Welnem, you idiot ! I said don't kill her !", I heard Laufey scream.

I heard footsteps coming closer to me, fast. I felt arms around me.

"Dest ?! Destiny ! I am sorry ! I didn't want to kill you ! You were my best friend. Please stay by my side. Wake up... Please...", Laufey said.

"L-Laufey... It's o-okay... Fight Odin... You...can't help me anymore... We will see each other again...I swear. Just you wait..."

And with that I played dead. He shook me.

"Destiny ! No ! Stay ! Destiny I am sorry !", I felt tears falling on me.

He sniffed. I felt him letting go of me and ran to the temple after he said with a cold voice...

"I will fight Odin. And then I will kill Welnem for you as revenge. That I swear to you."

After I was sure he was away, I pulled out the letter and put it on my sword. Then everything went black.

'I am dead, again. I am sorry...Laufey, Loki, Thor, Frigga, Odin and Jackson... I am so sorry. I hope...you, Loki and Laufey, can forgive me one day... I will be back. Sooner than you think. I swear.'

End of memories...

Part 31

Masterlist with all Chapters of this Story click here !  

[sadclearance]

the show must go on

pairing: sayaka maizono x female! dying! reader

summary: sayaka's dreamt of touring her whole life, and she can't wait for y/n to finally be able to watch her perform.

category: fluff, angst

warning(s): implied/referenced natural death

word count: 1398

key:

italicized - writing

"and then celestia got super mad at hifumi!" sayaka giggles as she recalls the events of today's class.

y/n laughs with her because sayaka's laugh has always been sweetly contagious, but the fit of laughter turns into a fit of coughs, and y/n has to weakly turn her body away from sayaka the best she can so that it doesn't get on her.

"i'm sorry," y/n says after she finally regains her composure.

"no, don't apologize," sayaka frowns as she grabs y/n's hands. "have they given you the reports for today? if you're getting better or not?"

y/n smiles softly as she rubs circles into sayaka's knuckles with her thumbs. "yeah. they said that the treatment's working."

sayaka's face breaks out into a great big smile, and she lets out a breath of relief that she didn't know she was holding in.

"good! that's good! oh my god, that's so good!" sayaka feels as though she could fly to the stars right about now. that's the best news she's heard in her entire life, even more so than when her audition to sign a contract with a big music label got accepted. "that's--i'm so glad, y/n. i'm so... i love you."

y/n's eyes go wide because they've never said that to each other before.

sayaka doesn't seem to notice though, too distracted by the happiness that was filling her from head to toe.

and before sayaka can make anything of the silence, y/n's able to process everything, and she says with a big smile of her own, "i love you, too."

sayaka pulls her in for a kiss and it y/n feels overjoyed to be able to feel the kiss on her lips. if she could stay like this forever, she would.

they're interrupted by the sound of sayaka's ringtone.

"i'm sorry," sayaka frowns when she sees who's calling her. "i have to take this."

"go ahead," y/n smiles, hoping that it reassures sayaka. "take your time."

"i'll be right back! i promise!" sayaka says before rushing out of the room.

the smile falls as the door shuts behind her. sayaka's visits are the highlight of y/n's days. the white walls and smell of bleach are bland and unpleasant. sayaka's the splash of color in her monochrome world. it's lonely whenever she's not around.

she doesn't know how much time passes by, but when sayaka comes back, y/n looks up with a smile on her face again.

"i missed you," y/n says the words that she usually keeps to herself, but something inside of her told her to say them out loud this time.

sayaka gives a sad smile at that, and y/n has a feeling that she knows what this is about.

"i was only gone for a few minutes," sayaka says in a teasing tone instead of addressing the bad news that she obviously brought along with her.

"you have a tour coming up, don't you?" y/n asks.

"i'm looking for ways to delay it," sayaka answers.

"why? you've been looking forward to this your entire career!" y/n frowns because she knows it's because of her. she regrets the words that came out of her mouth and wants to curse her instincts for urging her to say them.

"that's not true," sayaka rolls her eyes playfully, but they both know that she's lying. she's been dreaming of touring since the beginning of her career--since even before then.

"i'm not letting you throw away your dream. you have to go," y/n says.

"i wanna stay with you, though," sayaka says softly. she grabs her hand but can't find it within herself to meet her eyes.

"let me see the tour schedule," y/n says.

"they haven't--"

"i know that's bullshit. c'mon."

sayaka begrudgingly shows y/n the schedule that was sent to her by her manager.

"woah. you really are a star, you know that?" y/n smiles at her proudly. "i'm so happy for you."

"i'm not going through with it."

"yes you are. because you're gonna throw the last concert on this list--the tokyo concert--as a present for me when i can finally get out of here."

"you'll be out by then?!" sayaka asks with big round hopeful eyes.

"'course i am," y/n grins. "the treatments are working."

"my entire tour's for you," sayaka says as she embraces y/n tightly.

"good, 'cause i'm your number one fan," y/n smiles into sayaka's shoulder as she reciprocates the hug.

there's a knock on the door, and they both know what that means.

"you better be," sayaka jokes, giving her one last squeeze before letting go.

"visiting hours are already over, huh?" y/n sighs.

"i'll be back as soon as i can," sayaka presses a kiss on top of y/n's head before leaving.

"you better not! you have to practice for the tour!" y/n calls out after her.

and y/n was right.

sayaka's schedule was so jam packed with practice, promotional shoots, the actual tour, and so much more over the course of the next months that she could barely find the time to sleep and eat, nevertheless an opportunity to visit her beloved.

and before she knew it, the months that felt so long and so short were coming to a close on the night of the final concert, which had rounded back to tokyo.

tonight is the night that y/n is going to be in the crowd, welcoming her home.

sayaka sets a goal to make this her best show ever, which she always tells herself before every show, but this time it means so much more than just impressing her fans.

and the performance is beautiful. her voice has never felt so powerful in her life, and she feels as though her movements were elegant and alluring.

subconsciously, she scans the crowd with her eyes, even though she knows that there's no way that she's gonna be able to find y/n there. there's too many people, and she can't put too much energy into searching because then this show--this show that's y/n's celebratory present has to be absolutely perfect.

it's fine. she'll find her after the show. she'll leap into her arms and let her spin her around. then they'll get to go to all of their favorite places together--places that they couldn't go ever since y/n got hospitalized.

it'll be all okay.

the show ends and the crowd bursts into applause. sayaka's panting hard, but it's okay because that means she gave it her all. she wishes she could meet y/n's eyes and let her know that all of it was for her.

maybe she can.

as she bows, she has time to scan the crowd more carefully. nothing catches her eye yet, but she knows she'll find her eventually.

"sayaka," a voice calls into her headset. "step back. the curtains are going to fall now."

and she reluctantly does so before she can find y/n.

she goes into her dressing room and looks for her phone to text her girlfriend when there's a knock on her door.

she almost trips over her own feet as she hurries to answer the door.

she can't even try to hide the disappointed look on her face when she sees that it's her manager and not her lover.

"someone delivered this," her manager says. "preordered from months ago."

"thanks," sayaka says. she accepts the flowers and closes the door. she's about to go back to searching for her phone when she realizes that she recognizes the penmanship on the card of the flowers.

dear sayaka,

i'm sorry i lied. the treatments haven't been working. i just didn't want to worry you when you already have so many other things to be worried about.

i didn't want you to have to watch me die slowly. i wanted you to remember me at least half-alive looking, not weak and sickly.

and i didn't want you to throw your career away. i wouldn't be able to rest in peace if i knew that i was the reason you gave it up.

and i'm sorry i didn't make it to your big show. i'm sure you were beautiful out there. you always have been, always will be.

my last days will be spent in bliss, knowing that you still have your beautiful passion.

thank you for making this life worthwhile.

i love you, but do forget about me, as the show must go on, y/n

❥๑━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━๑❥

a/n;

i feel like it sounds rushed but idk.

this is an idea i had back in 4/26/20 but never actually wrote out until today.

uhhhhhhhh not proof read (when is it ever) but go me for writing this at this ungodly hour