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#i wish i had the energy to rewrite it
leyyvi · 2 years
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every time i do my lil reread of paychecks i get so fucked got me listening to lana del rey n shit 😭😭😭especially w chapter 19 it makes me so emo PLEASE 😭😭😭😭
LANA DEL REY HELPPP god i felt that tho.......i'nm rereading to refresh myself when i start writing again and gkjfhdgjkhjkghdfjkgh I CANNOT BELIEVE IT'S BEEN ALMOST 2 YEARS sinCE I STARTED WRITING .... WTF fd gdfn
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gracebethartacc · 8 months
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soooo I had a lore idea earlier that ties into the rewrite really well,,,,,,
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Poor unfortunate souls am I right :)
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galaxythreads · 9 months
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Hello! I’ve liked your fics for a long time, and was wondering if you would write something with fem- presenting Loki? There are some gender-fluid Loki fics on ao3, but I Need More To Live. I would write one, but I wouldn’t ever finish it.
I really want Loki to join the avengers in 2012 so that the other stuff doesn’t happen. sometimes I want Loki and Natasha to make fun of the rest of the avengers.
Idk I just really like the idea that Loki and Natasha would be friends. Or Loki and Wanda. (Except for all of the aforementioned characters got done so dirty by MCU. Isn’t that like a trope? Kill off the girl so the guy has a motivation to defeat the bad guy? Like from Green Lantern or something?
And Loki and Wanda got rewritten.). Whatever. I’m PERFECTLY OKAY! *eye twitches*
That kind of turned into a rant. Sorry.
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Here are more of my headcanons, because I’d rather dm someone on tumblr instead of actually making a post on my blog. I’m weird.
-Loki was friends with Tchaikovsky and Mozart and Shakespeare. Maybe even Paganini, or like Ada Lovelace. Or Albert Einstein. Basically a lot of historical figures and also musicians from the 1980s.
-Loki is an honorary gay, because he’s an alien and aliens don’t have human concepts of gender and sexuality. But also you saw that 🏳️‍🌈hand flip🏳️‍🌈 he did in the 1602 episode. I mean, he was just being so gay in that 1602 episode. It was beautiful.
-Loki is a sad little boi. 🥺🥺
-Loki is a good little boi who got did dirty by MCU and Odin. (🥺🥺)
-Loki isn’t always a boy.🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️(unfortunately no gender-fluid flag emojis so 💕🤍💜🖤💙)
-Loki knows all the languages.
-Loki would watch anime and Kdramas if HE WASN’T DEAD.
-Loki is a theater kid.
-Loki is cat
-Loki knows how to play ALL the instruments. He likes cello the best though. Also he has perfect pitch.
-Loki needs therapy. Like two blue whales worth of therapy.
-If Tony and Loki ever had a long conversation, they would figure out how to solve world hunger and climate change and overpopulation AND THEIR MOTHERS. (It doesn’t make sense but just roll with it)
-Loki is a Major Fucking Nerd About Everything.
-Loki likes calculus as a hobby.
-Loki is, (un?)fortunately, a British stereotype.
-Loki ships appledash and narusasu.
Thank you for coming to my Ted talk. Bye, and thanks for letting me dump headcanons on you.
Hi! Thank you so much for sharing all of these with me, it's so fun to see other people's headcanons about Loki and their excitement about his character. I love discussing this blorbo and cracking him open like an onion to peal away layers of trauma and reveal the nerd beneath.
Lol, the amount of times I've thought about doing an MCU rewrite post a1 to fix everything is insane. If I did do this, I'd actually probably start at civil war, because personally, I feel like everything was (generally) actually okay and enjoyable until infinity war. Civil war is just a good place to kick around the fix-its because everything is such a mess.
As far as your request goes, it might surprise you, but you're actually NOT the first person to approach me about a genderfluid, fem-presenting Loki. More like the....4th? or maybe 5th? Idk. I've definitely been approached by multiple people over the years about this. Firstly, thank you for trusting me with your idea and your headcanons, I'm humbled and honored that you would approach me about this because you believed I would be able to write the story in a way that you would find meaningful and enjoyable <3
Second - I really just don't know. My first inclination is to say no, not because I'm not interested or don't care, but mostly because I'm so busy right now I really don't know when I'll be able to get to the story. Plus, I'm really not sure how to go about this. I'd need to figure out what direction I wanted to take the story, because Loki being genderfluid wouldn't change that much except their outward appearance. Loki + genderfluid + Natasha friendship is an amazing concept, but it's not a...plot, if that makes sense? "Fixing" a1 could be 50,000,000 separate things, and if it goes out as a fix-it for mcu, that would be an enormous project. Easily 200k-400k+, which would take me like...uh 1-3 years to write.
Loki being genderfluid IS something I've thought about just adding to my fics in general now (i'm really not sure, because I love cis male Loki, and I know it's canon that he's genderfluid, but I kind of disregard most things from the series anyway?) but Idk?
+ and this is just a personal one for me, but I don't know how to include Loki being genderfluid as a major part of the plot/story right now. Like, for example, I've been in the process of dumping all of my religious lgbtq+ trauma on peter parker in a (massive) one-shot that revolves around Peter learning to accept himself as being gay, but the point of the story is that Peter doesn't accept himself at first and the conclusion is when he does. (I don't know if I'm ever going to share or finish that fic by the way, so don't look for it) I don't know how to take the concept of this story, turn it into a fix-it for Avengers 1 with Natasha, and have a meaningful story about being genderfluid at the same time?
Like to me there's two different ways to go about lgbtq+ stories: a story about being gay that is intended to talk about lgbtq+ experiences and focus heavily on that, vs a story where the character is lgbtq+ and it's just part of their character and not something we spend a lot of time talking about because we don't need to. The story isn't about them being lgbtq+ specifically, it's about the character. Recently, a lot more media has started doing the latter, which is really, really nice because I don't feel like being lgbtq+ has to be justified every 20 lines.
The story I'm writing about Peter Parker is the former. It's about being gay. The entire story revolves around it. What I can tell from what you're saying is that you want something where Loki just IS genderfluid, but it's not something we spend a whole lot of time discussing because the story isn't ABOUT being genderfluid, it's about fixing mcu with genderfluid Loki as the main character, if I'm understanding this correctly? Which is fine and I absolutely support it because there is nothing wrong with writing genderfluid Loki and I wholeheartedly support those authors.
So i guess to shorten this - because this isn't just like a ~5-15k one-shot (which are about the only length of requests I can successfully complete right now), as respectfully as I can, I'm going to have to lovingly turn you down. I'm not saying no, I'll never write about genderfluid Loki, because I'm like 90% sure I will eventually, but I just don't know about a fix-it for MCU from the first Avengers. One suggestion I have is maybe, if you really really need to see this come to fruition, is to just write a bunch of one-shots that are interconnected based on each of your headcanons and then publish it as an interconnected series, not so much a full length novel like I would write. I can easily see this being a really enjoyable series. Best of luck
~galaxy <3
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barnbridges · 11 days
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you know that autism feeling when you're fully locked in and feel you can do something after many many many years of not being able to feel it.
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anonymouspuzzler · 11 months
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my friends i. my head is in the Soup lately would anyone like to send asks for me to answer
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"Happy birthday pharaoh." The note reads stuck inside a gift basket which is left behind for him. A bottle of fine wine along with some bread and assorted cheeses.
"I wonder who left this behind...?" He asked aloud to the empty space around him as he examined the card, flipping it from front to back.
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"Hmm....no name..."
He set the note aside and examined the contents of the basket before taking the bottle of wine in hand. He didn't want to think anything malicious was taking place, especially not on his birthday, but those who knew him were well aware that he didn't really care to celebrate this day so an anonymous gift awaiting him was a little suspect.
After all, birthdays were for the living...not for those who had died and were granted another conditional chance at life.
Still....he supposed he could be grateful since someone had gone out of their way to leave this for him. "Thank you for this...whoever you are."
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jayfeather should've been allowed to say "your father is the one that fucked my mother" here
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Well I just wrote up a whole post about the great bean disaster of 2k23 and tumblr ate it
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ellzilla · 2 years
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Tell Will I love him and that I wish him nothing but happiness and hope that he returns to earth safe and sound <3
Lj can kick rocks a suffer alone. All my pity has dried for him I'm sorry to say 😔
Anon you are one of the few v-v-sane ones in my inbox. I always have fellas saying "awh poor LJ 💔💔💔💔" when it comes to Will wanting to leave him to get his life back but like! No he's a horrific monster who's selfish as fuck and does things for Will not bc it's what Will needs, but bc it's what LJ wants!!
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just-a-ghost00 · 3 months
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Your future spouse : Who? Where? When?
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Group 1 - Van Gogh
Letters : E M D E R U O E P W T Y
Words/signs/names : deputy, Rudy, Emery, Roy, power, true, Morty, drum, poetry, proud, meet, WED, route, pure, Tower, remedy, dom, prom, word, rude, drop, rope, dye, eye, TUE, wet, pet, pouty, muted, dope, prude
Recommended songs : Fly me to the moon Frank Sinatra, Sweater weather The Neighborhood, Snooze AGUSTD, MIA Bad Bunny ft Drake
WHO? - White Numen / Ask body / Magnesite : get your mind right.
Oh this person is powerful and stubborn AF. The bull and the panther may be spirit animals of this person. If not, they like these animals or their personality matches those. In terms of astrological placements, we have Taurus and Aquarius, as well as Earth signs in general (Taurus Virgo Capricorn). They are a boss ass B. They are masculine. Like reaaaallyyyy masculine. They have BIG DADDY energy. Jupiter might be very well aspected in their chart or the sign in which Jupiter is in their chart matches well with the energy of Jupiter. That would be Sagittarius, Pisces and Cancer. This person is a creator and a good manifestor. They think a lot. They are cerebral. They may strugg with overthinking but their mind reminds their best asset. They are the epitome of brains are sexy. This person would know everything from ancient languages and art skills to the newest knowledge in technology and medicine. They can do anything and everything they set their mind to. In terms of their looks, they are definitely tall. They would tower over you and lift you up like you were a feather. They are strong in all aspects. Their torso is bigger than the lower part of their body. They have broad shoulders, big hands, big forehead and nose, prominent jawline, regardless of their gender. Maybe for the women identifying people the bum and chest would be bigger than other features of their body. And for the men identifying people, the pectorals would be juicy. With the ask body card, this tells me this person works out a lot. They are also very spiritual. They give off a lone wolf energy when really this person has a lot of love to give they just know what they want and they have strong boundaries. So they would never let themselves be walked over or let in people who would bring more BS than anything. This person would keep you on your toes for sure. I feel like they would have a bold fashion style. Something that stands out from current trends or that is unusual for people who are like them. For instance, let’s say this person is quite old, maybe you’d expect them to wear suits and fancy watches. But instead this person has a very casual look or dresses like the younger people. They could be your boss or at least someone who has a higher status than yours. It wouldn’t surprise me if they already had kids. They are well established.
WHEN? - Page of pentacles / Higher perspective / Bismuth : rewrite your code with rainbows.
In terms of timing, the page of pentacles represents several months. Now if we look at the meaning of the page of pentacles, it talks about education. The page is a learner, a student in matters of material aspects. Combined with the Higher perspective card, this definitely gives me the feeling of going back to college. Or getting a training in something very specific. Potentially something involving spirituality. Like taking reiki courses or tarot reading lessons. So I feel this person is a teacher or a mentor to you. With the Bismuth card, I feel like this person will be opening doors for you. And that could be litteral because the door of my room opened out of nowhere as I was trying to get more information from the card. Higher perspective is related to Ether. This means to me that you will meet at a point in your life when you wish to evolve, to embody a better version of yourself and seek to gain knowledge or power.
WHERE? - King of cups / The Explorer / Malachite : claim your success.
We already had kind of a hint with the previous section. And I feel like it’s further confirmed by these cards, especially the Malachite card. Now if we talk about geographical indicators, water seems to be relevant. Also on the Explorer card there’s a compass. So it tells me that where you meet them, there is either a plan or something related to navigation or orientation. Also when looking at this card I heard "you already know where to find them". So it gives me the strong feeling that many of you already know this person and already met them. It’s just that you didn’t consider them your FS. Also the malachite card mentions the workspace. So you could work together. Or you’re doing the same job and you go to them for advice. Also the king of cups card depicts a man sitting on a thrown spilling water in an ocean of sharks. So this also tells me there’s a lot of competition where you meet. And it’s like this person is trying to educate or heal the sharks somehow.
Group 2 - Monet
Disclaimer : I kept confusing you with group 1 and there were cards of group 1 that kept wanting to come into your reading so you might want to check group 1 as well. I think there are two people that have the potential of being your future spouse.
Letters : L I S G E S T M S I E K
Words / signs / names : Selim, time, lies, mess, Tess, seek, kisses, misses, meets, lists, sees, skies, ski, Mike, miles, gems, glee, mist, melt, GSM, kit, leek, miel (French for honey), TMI, MIT, Stiles, geek
Recommended songs : Easy Camilla Cabello, Life goes on AGUSTD , Hall of fame Stray Kids
WHO? - Ace of pentacles / The Seeker / Aragonite : find your center.
Earth signs are being shown here. On the ace of pentacles card there are 8 hands reaching for the pentacle. So your person is wanted by many. They feel younger than you. They are possibly a student or a young active. With the Seeker card I feel like this person hasn’t found their true calling yet. They feel lost and out of balance. Maybe they got a job that doesn’t make them happy or their studies aren’t as fulfilling as they thought. They are super shy and reserved. They may appear as cold when they are just a softy. They have trust issues. They feel really cute to be honest. But also they are lonely. It’s like they keep searching for the one, when they have so many prospects. I feel like they have a lot of high standards and they know that other people don’t match the vibe they’re going for. I feel like this person only has eyes for you but you don’t see them. Again, this group knows their FS already. In terms of physical traits, I feel like this person has good hands. But their body might look out of shape a little. They’re more on the chubby side. They look comforting. Like the type of person that would give the best hugs. Their gaze is really soft. Like a puppy. They feel pretty needy tbh. But not the suffocating type of needy. They just want to be loved and crave for connection. Someone that will share their interests and values. Who will match their crazy and feel safe in their presence. I feel like this person has faced a lot of rejection in the past and they kinda are stuck with this idea that no one wants them. They are an introvert. They like to isolate and be in their bubble. I feel like people have an idea of them that is completely false. Like maybe they think this person is a flirt and parties all night when in truth they’re a couch potato and a gym rat. They only go out of truly needed and they would rather be alone than surrounded by tons of people they barely know. This person wants a family of their own so bad. Like a big family with the white dog and pretty little house. They’re a hopeless romantic and an idealist.
WHEN? - 2 of pentacles / Reclaim / Scolecite : dive into your dreams.
On the 2nd of a month, two months from now. It feels like you may be going back and forth with this person before fully knowing them or being close to them. There’s a chase and run type of energy to this connection. You’ll meet them when you or they are reclaiming your/their power and changing something in your life. So moving houses, changing jobs or getting back to studying. When you start chasing your dreams. Also you could meet them in your dreams before meeting them in person. During any earth sign season.
WHERE? - Queen of pentacles / Power / Amethyst : get drunk on your highest self.
In a places of power or worship such as Cathedrals and Churches, Mosques, temples, town halls, or in a place of education. Also monuments came to mind. Like the Eiffel Tower, the leaning tower of Pisa. There were many stars on the Queen of pentacles’s dress so Europe came to mind. The US and the UK as well. Other places include : Siberia, the Far East, Brazil, Uruguay, Sri Lanka, South Africa, Mexico, Australia, South Korea, India, Austria, Germany, Italy, Canada.
Group 3 - Hokusai
Letters : C Q T E C S L I G A L I
Words/signs/names : Ali, Alice, Alicia, Cecilia, Scilla, Giles, Gael, Gaelic, sigil, sea, sail, Lisa, aigle (French for eagle), Elisa, Elias, Cali, cast, list, tails, IQ, Tesla, sage, Isac, Lila, lilac, cis, alt, ciel (French for sky), call, site, Lise, teal, lace, acts, sell
Recommended songs : Mon amour GEMINI , 3:00 AM Finding hope , Dark on me Starset
WHO? - 6 of pentacles / The Revolutionary / Honey calcite : break through your limits.
First of all, your person might have a white dog. Second of all, they have tanned skin. Thirdly, they could work in law enforcement or they are studying at Law school. They could be doing humanitarian work. They are balanced and grounded. Both in their attitude as well as their personality. They know when to give and when to take, when to talk and when to listen, when to act and when to observe. With the revolutionary card, this tells me that they are pretty determined and ambitious. This person likes to stand for greater causes. So you’d bet that they advocate for children and women rights, for the LGBTQIA+ community, for the respect of nature and animals as well as the end of wars. The signs of Taurus, Aries, Sagittarius and Leo are significant. This person is very sweet. Almost to the point where sometimes they put others needs before their own. Especially if it’s about being fair and giving retribution for wrongs caused by previous generations. This person feels like they have a debt they need to pay. Also they might have suffered abuse in the past so they want to have retribution for them but also for the people who were wronged like they were. In terms of physical traits, their body is harmonious. So for female presenting individuals, they would have kind of an hour glass body type. Same for male presenting individuals. This person feels gender fluid. They are a minimalist. They like to keep things simple when it comes to the way they look. Honestly if they could be naked on a daily basis they would be. They’re in touch with nature. Animals love them. They have a very comforting aura. This person really is as sweet as honey. They could be a creator, a designer, a public speaker. They like to use their voice and their status to raise awareness about things they care about and value. They could be a teacher as well or someone that works with kids.
WHEN ? Page of swords / Paradox / Hematite : align with your wholeness.
When stars align. When you finally let your guards down. When you align with your calling, your soul mission. During any air sign season. Within a few weeks from now. When you’re on your period. When you let go of your old beliefs on love or when you move on from a past love, an unrequited love or a crush that would never have evolved into anything more than friendship. When your spiritual beliefs change drastically (i.e. you decide to convert to a new faith, you no longer believe in God, you choose to follow a spiritual path).
WHERE? - Queen of swords / Get wild / Emerald : point your heart toward grace.
In terms of countries, we have : Colombia, Brazil, Zambia, Zimbabwe, USA, Afghanistan, Pakistan, Russia, Australia. Now, in terms of where you could meet, I'm not getting much from these cards. It's like your FS wants to play hide and seek. They're not really comfortable sharing where they are. The only thing I'm picking up on is somewhere where the law is involved. So it could be an administration, a police station, law school, a lawyer's office, a prison. With the get wild card, the only hint I can get is that it can get intense. I asked for a card to clarify the Queen of swords and I got the 9 of pentacles. So law and money are involved. So maybe a bank or an insurance company. Or somewhere businesses and entrepreneurs go to get advice on how to invest their money or know if something they intend to do is legal or not.
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nyoomerr · 2 months
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Fic prompt: SY is the chosen cleric of LBH, the world's most possessive divine emperor, accent on the divine. He did not sign up for this. (Meanwhile, LBH is trying to figure out how he can fit a divine empress into this pantheon)
i actually got very into this AU once i thought about it for 0.5 seconds, so here's a lil drabble that i hope to expand on and put on ao3 in the future ;>
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Shen Yuan wouldn’t consider himself to be particularly religious. He believed in the gods, of course - the proof of their existence is written on every street corner and under every roof. The lights of the city that have no discernible power source outside of the goddess of invention herself, the unemptiable food basket that had been gifted to Shen Yuan’s father by the god of plenty, the buzz of raw energy in the air each weekend when the city gathers to say its prayers. 
Undoubtedly, Shen Yuan had grown up in a city blessed by the gods, so naturally he believes in them. He just doesn’t much care for them.
A city blessed by the gods is also a city kept by them, after all. No inventions that could possibly be construed as a weapon would ever be approved by the ministry of creation. No civil courts existed when the gods could directly send down divine punishment to sinners.
No life in the city would ever survive if the gods found it unworthy.
Shen Yuan knew, objectively, why the rules of the gods were so strict. Divine Emperor Luo wrote them himself, and each one had been crafted specifically to prevent the sort of strife and abuse that he had witnessed when he was a mere mortal. Every schoolchild learns the story of the pitiful Luo Binghe who struggled to reach the heavens, faced every day with proof of humanity’s dishonor and ugliness.
When that pathetic Luo Binghe had awakened his blood as the Divine Emperor, he’d immediately sought to rewrite the rules of the heavens to fix the issues he’d seen as a mortal. It made sense. It even worked, to some objective degree of measurement: starvation and war between human lands was barely heard of, these days.
Shen Yuan casts his eyes up to the ceiling of the chapel. A mural of Divine Emperor Luo is painted in bright splashes of color, his eyes piercing down at the viewer as he holds a drink in one hand and a woman in the other. An image of wealth and wellness; a warning to stay in line if you wish for a similar happy ending. 
Shen Yuan thinks that the Divine Emperor must truly have had a hard life, to rule as such an immature god. A child that never got the chance to grow up freely, now imposing their black-and-white outlook of life on an entire land of people who are mature enough to understand that life isn’t so simple.
Shen Yuan looks back down, peering through barely open eyes at his feet. He isn’t supposed to have his eyes open at all, during prayer. It’s just - despite the issues he has with the gods’ reign, and despite the apathy he feels in place of admiration or piety, he really can’t help but think - 
How pitiful, to have ascended without first understanding the joy of being human. How sad, to have your ‘happy ending’ worshiped by the masses without understanding it yourself, believing it to be good only because it follows your own strict rules. 
Shen Yuan sighs, a quiet release of air in the quiet of the chapel.
His next breath in feels electric. 
The vaulted ceilings of the chapel suddenly feel claustrophobic. The quiet hum of hands rubbing against hands in silent prayer rises to a crescendo of skin and movement and life. What low light the candles lining the pews had provided now burns as brightly as the light of a hundred divine lanterns, but there isn’t anywhere Shen Yuan can cast his eyes towards that is less shocking to look at. 
And there, at the front of the chapel, is a god. 
Shen Yuan’s breath catches. He can’t look away. The god is beautiful; more divine than any blessing that Shen Yuan has ever witnessed. 
He is also looking directly at Shen Yuan, meeting his gaze through half lidded eyes and with the laziness of an apex predator. 
Around Shen Yuan, the other church-goers have begun to break from their prayers, startled and choking on the divine presence around them. Many of them dare to sneak peeks at the descended god, but none of them seem able to look directly at him, their eyes sliding off of him before they quickly duck their heads and take up the pose of prayer once more.
Shen Yuan still can’t look away.
Slowly, the god steps down from the pulpit and begins to approach. He doesn’t bother to look at Shen Yuan as he moves forward, casually glancing around the chapel as if assessing it. His eyes catch on the mural on the ceiling - his own face looking down at him, though paling in comparison to the beauty and power of the real thing. 
And then he pulls his eyes back to Shen Yuan, and Shen Yuan realizes with a start that he’s stopped walking, standing directly in front of the pew Shen Yuan is sitting in.
Shen Yuan wets his lips. His pulse beats jack-rabbit fast in his throat.
“Divine Emperor Luo,” he greets. “How - how can I serve you?”
The weight of the Divine Emperor’s attention is no lighter than if Shen Yuan had held the entire ocean on his shoulders. He looks at Shen Yuan as if he might eat him, and expects Shen Yuan to thank him for the honor of filling a divine stomach.
“Do you think you can?” He asks, and Shen Yuan shudders at the sound of his voice. An infinitely powerful being, and he’s speaking to Shen Yuan as if Shen Yuan were a peculiarity, something fit to either be played with or disposed of once the god has finished assessing him. 
“Can I - um, my apologies, Divine Emperor, can I…?”
“Serve me,” The gods says. “Or did you offer such a thing unthinkingly?”
Shen Yuan stares at him. Divine Emperor Luo stares back, his gaze sharp as he takes Shen Yuan in. 
“Can you,” Divine Emperor Luo says, voice low and dangerous, “serve a god that you see as pitiful?”
Shen Yuan jerks back as if slapped. How useless would it be to say that he hadn’t meant it? If a god can hear any thought about them, not only directed prayers - for certainly, Shen Yuan’s private ruminations about the tragedy of Luo Binghe’s story had been nothing like a prayer, and yet they had clearly been heard - then there is no point in lying. If Shen Yuan were to claim one thing with his mouth and another with his mind, he’d only be branded one of the many sinners to be smited by the Divine Emperor’s just hand. Deceit was hardly looked favorably upon; to lie to a god that could hear the truth from your own mind would be suicide. 
Shen Yuan hesitates. At his back, he knows his family must be terrified, and yet he also knows that they dare not look at the Divine Emperor, and that their heads must be bowed in prayer like everyone else in the chapel. 
A room with a hundred people, and it may as well just be Shen Yuan and his god.
The Divine Emperor’s lips quirk up. It isn’t a friendly expression. 
“Your god, little Shen Yuan?” He asks cruelly. “You can pity me, and you can know in your heart that you are incapable of serving me, and yet you claim to be devout to me in the same breath?”
“Aren’t I yours, Divine Emperor?” Shen Yuan asks. His voice does not waver, but it is a near thing. “If I didn’t belong to you, could I dare to live in this city? Every living thing here must live by your rule; naturally, we must all belong to you.”
“What pretty words,” Divine Emperor Luo says. His eyes glint red from beneath his lashes, and Shen Yuan thinks -
Ah, so red is truly the color of the divine. 
Divine Emperor Luo’s eyes are very suddenly the same deep brown that his murals all portray him with. Shen Yuan lowers his gaze deferentially, and wonders idly if all the other too-sharp pieces of the Divine Emperor would smooth out if Shen Yuan’s thoughts lingered on them. 
“If Divine Emperor Luo finds my words pretty, then I will dare to keep speaking,” Shen Yuan says, keeping his eyes turned down. 
“Go on, then. Speak.”
Shen Yuan takes a shuddering breath in. His family is still cowering behind him. The old lady who lives down the street is shaking in her pew across the aisle. 
And Shen Yuan has never considered himself especially religious, because believing in the gods is very different from placing your faith in them. 
“To spy is the manifestation of distrust,” Shen Yuan recites, the words long since memorized after a lifetime of growing up under the gods’ many rules about morality and punishment. “A lack of trust in others implies something impure within yourself. Spying should be punished with ten lashes.”
Shen Yuan’s mother lets out a quiet sound of alarm, stifled so quickly it sounds like a whimper. Shen Yuan does not bother to send her any sort of mental apology; it would not reach her, and would instead be intercepted by an outsider. 
Besides, Shen Yuan had known well what he was doing, quoting the rules that the Divine Emperor had written right back at him, implying that a god should be punished. It would be foolish to apologize for something he had done so purposefully. 
“Spying,” Divine Emperor Luo says, after the silence in the chapel has stretched long. “What a funny way to describe listening to the prayers of my followers. Is it spying for you to hear a call made to you from within your own house?”
“If all of the prayers that the Divine Emperor receives sound like what he heard from me,” Shen Yuan says, glancing back up to meet the god’s eyes defiantly. “Then I wonder why he hasn’t bothered to descend before today to scold us all.”
“Does little Shen Yuan think I will scold him?” Divine Emperor Luo asks, voice soft. 
“I think,” Shen Yuan says, “that a god normally so busy with punishing us would not bother to descend unless it was to fulfill those duties.”
“The world is good, from the work that I do,” Divine Emperor Luo says sharply. 
“Is it?” Shen Yuan asks, and he finds that his fear has been pushed down, his chest tight with a lifetime of reading about the gods and wondering why, if Luo Binghe’s life was so miserable, would he be unable to recognize misery in his own subjects, living every day in fear of him? 
Luo Binghe had been pitiful, and he’d never been allowed to grow up peacefully, and Shen Yuan truly thinks it sad that a divine being could live in such a tragic way. 
But that doesn’t make him blind to the way that Luo Binghe’s immaturity has scorched the mortal plane, nor does his pity completely dissolve his anger over such a thing. 
Shen Yuan’s fate had been sealed from the moment they the Divine Emperor had descended. If he’s going to be punished regardless, then it will be for having said his piece. 
Dying from bitching this pathetic god out is a far better story than dying from having only thought it. 
And yet, before Shen Yuan can open his mouth again -
The Divine Emperor turns suddenly, facing the cleric at the front of the chapel. The old man is clutching at his prayer book with shaking hands, and he ducks his head instantly when the god looks his way. 
“Take him in as a disciple,” Divine Emperor Luo commands, gesturing lazily in Shen Yuan’s direction. “I want him trained and moved to the main church by the end of the year.”
Shen Yuan looks at the cleric, and then back at the god in front of him. He - what?
The Divine Emperor glances back at Shen Yuan, his lips quirked up and his eyes once more a blazing red. 
“There’s another reason for a god to descend than to administer punishment,” he says. “We must also appoint clerics.”
And then Divine Emperor Luo is gone, the space where he once stood crackling with divine energy. 
In disbelief, Shen Yuan - the first cleric to be personally appointed by the Divine Emperor in nearly a century - falls to his knees. Fuck, he thinks, and he hopes that the god is still listening to hear it. 
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jinwoosbabyboo · 20 days
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"The Sunset is Beautiful Isn't It?" pt. 2
The saying above is a beautiful way to bid someone farewell without having to say goodbye and I think it perfectly fits saying goodbye to our LaD Men because we can't keep hurting them. Someone has to end it. In first person p.o.v because it's you.
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Goodbye Xavier
Your POV
Queen of Philos. I've glimpsed into a past that is yet to happen. My future is Xavier's past. No wonder he's had so many identities while here on earth. Lumiere, Evol policeman it's all adding up.
She's so tired .... or I'm so tired .... I don't know .... I'm so confused. I can feel her sorrow waiting for him. Wishing her 'Star' would come home. The weight of a sorrow I have yet to experience and my own sorrow of knowing Xavier's planet is dying because he's here trying to change my future.
I'm so stupid, but part of me couldn't believe that he'd be a time traveler. The idea was ridiculous yet here I am looking at my own future in another life. Nothing is impossible.
Except this pipeline dream Xavier has of trying to save me. That's ridiculous. I've disappeared on Philos, but I can feel her sorrow still wherever she is....wherever I am? Whatever.
I stare down at a freshly napped Xavier snuggled in my lap. Those eyes gaze at me with pure happiness & love. Then he smiles; that smile is what kills a piece of my soul every time it graces his lips. I can't protect that smile. It hurts to look at him now. I love him so much and I don't regret falling in love with him, but falling in love is just that....
Falling.
We're bound to break. This isn't a movie we don't get that happily ever after.
It was a valiant effort, but wasted energy. There's no rewriting the stars. I can't have him and he can't have me. "What are you thinking about?" Xavier's soft voice pulls me from my internal dilemma.
I shake my head and let a small smile pull at my lips as I lean down and place a soft kiss on his lips. "Nothing" I whisper before diving back in wanting to stay like this, but knowing we can't.
"Oh look at that" He directs his gaze in the same direction that I'm looking right out the living room window. "The sunset is beautiful isn't it?" He simply nods before pulling me back into a passionate kiss. I'll enjoy him one last time because after tonight. We can never meet again.
Xavier's POV
She was gone. I woke up alone in her bed with just her hunter watch in my hand. Panic immediately set in as I scrambled out of bed searching her apartment for her. The only thing missing was a few clothes and her favorite duffle.
"I have to find her" I told myself as I searched day and night for her. I contacted every single one of her coworkers, but none of them had heard from her.
That was almost a year ago and this is my last spring on earth. How does one simply disappear in such a way? I wish I could see her one last time, but wherever she's gone she doesn't want to be found. My little star has left me this time.
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Goodbye Sylus
"Where are you going?" His deep timbre voice sends shivers down my spine. My hand froze on the front door handle. I didn't think catch me leaving while in the middle of his usual sleep schedule. I spin around mustering up a tight smile "What are you doing up?" I asked trying to steer the conversation is a different direction.
His red eyes narrowed as he studies me "Where. Are. You. Going?" He added emphasis on each word as he approached me, crowding my space. He pressed his hands against the door trapping me between him and my only exit. My mouth was suddenly dry as he stared down at me.
"I need to go back to my place for a few things"
"Since when do you pack up your clothes here for a quick trip to Linkon?" He tilted his chin towards the duffle in my hand. My mind went blank as I saw his eye begin to glow.
"Okay okay! Sylus I love you .... I do, but I keep having these flashbacks or maybe it's the future I don't know, but every time it ends with me stabbing you in the chest" He eyes me before dropping his gaze to our feet exhaling sharply. "Right in your heart" A single tear slips from my eye as my voice cracks.
"Is that why you have this scar on your chest?" I asked pressing my hand to his chest. "Is that why you're so sensitive here?" He turns his head away as he releases a shaky breath. "I told you it's not a big deal"
"It is a big deal and whatever we're doing here is going to end in tragedy and I can't live with the constant reminder that I'm going to hurt you" His head snaps back up so fast I flinch and my blood runs cold with the intense stare he's giving me. "What are you saying?"
He stands tall and crosses his arms over his chest finally giving me space to breathe. I take a deep breath before responding "I'm leaving"
"Like hell you are"
"This isn't up for discussion" I turn my back to him and yank the door open desperate for fresh air. Before closing it behind me I spare him a glance over my shoulder "Don't look for me .... please"
Sylus' POV
If this kitten thinks she can hide from me. She's sadly mistaken. The chase is just getting started. I'll find you no matter where you go. Our red string of fate that ties us together can't be severed that easily. We're endgame sweetie.
Zayne & Rafayel here....
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shockercoco · 5 months
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Modern Loneliness
Major John Egan x reader
Warnings - little bit of angst, but mostly fluff
Word count - 2159
a/n - this was literally supposed to be posted over a month ago for the ending of MOTA, but I kept writing for Austin lol. Might as well get it out the drafts now. I also basically had to rewrite the whole thing bc wtf was I thinking a month ago. I hope you enjoy :)
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The war is finally over, allowing all the soldiers to go home, including the two best friends Buck and Bucky. The only thing holding Bucky back from being completely content about leaving is the fact that he doesn’t have that special someone to go back to.
Buck has Marge, and of course he’s happy for him, but Bucky just wishes had found a girl before he got sent off, someone who would know how he was before the war. Buck would always tell him not to worry and that he would find someone soon, but each time it doesn’t give him any reassurance.
You have been best friends with Marge since college, so when she told you her fiance was coming home you had nothing but joy for her. You had been a huge supporter of their relationship since the beginning, and while Buck was away you were always at her house comforting her for when she cried or just needed a friend. During his absence, Buck would write to you to check in on Marge because you and him both knew Marge would never tell him how she was really doing.
Currently, you are walking out of her front door to go back home when you see a taxi pull up in the driveway. You didn’t think anything of it until you saw Buck exiting the vehicle with his bags in hand. You shout for Marge to come outside, and it doesn’t take long for her to sprint into Buck’s arms after seeing him in the driveway. With a smile, you watched as he held onto her tightly and so lovingly, knowing this is exactly what Marge needed after a bad week. 
Deep down, though, you were wishing you had someone coming home to you, someone whose arms you could run into and kiss you like his life depended on it. When it came to the dating scene you never had much luck, so after a while you just accepted the defeat and gave up, deciding it was better to put your energy towards your career. 
During your girl talks, Marge would always tell you that you would find someone soon, and how perfect of a person you were, but year after year of not finding a relationship was making it hard to believe her. 
A couple days after Buck’s return, Marge invited you over because she was hosting a barbeque for Buck and some of his friends. You tried your best to get out of it, but she wouldn’t take no for an answer. She also mentioned that Bucky – Buck’s friend from the military who you’ve only heard while reading letters – would be there and that it would be an opportunity for you.
You didn’t find it unusual that she was trying to set you up with someone because this is what she always does, but you just weren’t in the mood to have small talk with a guy who probably wouldn’t find you attractive.
When Buck had invited Bucky – because when are they not together – he turned down the offer, and just like Marge, Buck wasn’t going to take no for an answer.
So, now here you were in Marge’s backyard surrounded by men and their partners. The only people you knew were the hosts, so you sat on the steps of the back porch with Marge beside you. Marge also didn’t know many of the guests given the fact everyone was Buck’s friend from the military, so she kept you company as she watched Buck man the grill with a few other guys beside him.
Bucky was among them, standing right next to his best friend and sipping on a beer as he talked. Every now and again, he would run a hand through his hair to push some of his loose curls, and you couldn’t deny the fact that he was attractive as you found yourself admiring him from a distance.
“Are you going to say something to him?” Marge asked you as she swished around the lemonade in her glass. She had been watching you this whole time as you practically drooled in the direction of the grill.
“Of course not,” you say as you turn your attention back to her, not before glancing around to see if anyone else had caught you staring. 
Thankfully some of the women had formed a little group and were laughing and gossiping amongst themselves, so there was little chance anyone had noticed you.
“And why not?” asked Marge with furrowed brows. “He’s a nice guy, I promise.”
“I’m sure he is, but it’s not like I know what to say. Plus look at him, he’s way out of my league,” you reply as you take a sip of lemonade from your own glass. 
“No he’s not, he’s just like any other guy,” she scoffs followed by a laugh.
“And just like with any other guy, I have nothing to talk about. What do we even have in common? He also just got back from a war camp in Europe, what if I say something that triggers him? 
“You’re overthinking. Just start off with a simple hello, and then go from there. He’s a huge flirt so knowing him he’ll do most of the talking,” she smiles. 
She was always so optimistic about these kinds of things, but you would be too if you were getting married to a guy who basically worships you.
You quickly finish the last of your lemonade before standing up. “I’m going to get a refill,” you mumble as you walk up the steps and into the house. You needed an excuse to get away from the conversation, and to get out of the heat. The sundress you were wearing was cute and gave you airflow, but it also exposed your arms and legs to harsh sun.
You head into the kitchen and open the fridge to take out the pitcher of lemonade Marge had made earlier in the day. After refilling your glass, you thought it was best to linger in the kitchen for a bit longer and decided to grab a plate of fruit out of the fridge to keep you busy.
Just as you jump up on the kitchen counter to get comfortable, you hear the back door opening. Next thing you know, you see Bucky walking into the kitchen, letting out a sigh that seems to be of exhaustion. He flashes you a smile when he notices you, before proceeding to grab another beer out of the fridge.
“You’re Marge’s friend right?” he asks as he shuts the door and turns to face you. 
“Yep,” is all you say before sticking a grape in your mouth.
“I’m John, but everyone calls me Bucky,” he says. He makes direct eye contact as sticks a hand out for you to shake, which you do, before popping the cap off his beer.
“So I’ve heard. I’ve seen your picture in Marge’s letters,” you respond as you focus your attention on the plate in your hands and begin moving some fruit around.
“Oh, yeah? Did I atleast look good in those pictures? Buck never lets me read his letters,” He smirks as he leans against the counter opposite from you.
You almost choke on the piece of fruit you had just placed in your mouth from his statement. You feel your face and ears turning warm so you turn your head and look out the kitchen window to avoid his gaze.
You stop yourself from smiling and cover it by clearing your throat. “Well  you were in a uniform and in black and white, so I couldn’t really tell.” 
“Understandable, black and white photos can be misleading,” he jokes, taking a swig from his bear. There’s a short silence that follows that isn’t completely awkward, but not exactly comfortable to you either. You hope he doesn’t notice.
The silence is interrupted by the back door opening and Marge sticking her head inside. She grins as her eyes flicker between you and Bucky before stopping on you to say, “Are you coming back out or what?”
“In a second, I’m just going to cool off in here for a bit,” you tell her. She gives you a nod before closing the door.
“Not a fan of big gatherings, I take it,” Bucky says once Marge is gone.
“What makes you say that?” you steal a glance at him before looking back out the window.
You smile as you watch Marge join Buck at the grill, making him turn his head to give her a quick kiss.
“I can tell you’re avoiding going back outside, and I don’t blame you. I’m doing the same thing myself,” he answers.
“What are you avoiding?” you finally turn your head to face him.
“Nothing specific really, I’m just not in the mood for conversating and answering people’s questions right now. That doesn’t include you though,” he looks over at you with a small smile. ” I used to love being around people and having fun, but now all I want to do is leave.” 
You watch as Bucky stares at the wall, going distant. His mood seems to have shifted from the one he had when he first stepped foot in the kitchen. “Everything okay?”
Your voice interrupts his thoughts and brings him back to the present. “Yeah, I’m fine…I’m just…I can tell I’m a different person ever since I got back, and I’m not sure I like this version of me.” He sets his beer on the counter and folds his arms, no longer in the mood to drink it. 
“I don’t think anyone expects you to be the same.”
“Well yeah, it’s just the fact that everyone I meet from now on will only know this version of me. They won’t know how different I was before the war, and they won’t understand what I’ve been through. Like Buck has Marge to talk to, and she understands because of the letters he would send her. I don’t have that,” Bucky says before adding, “I’m sorry, I don’t mean to dump this all on you.”
You just give him a smile. Even though you will never understand completely what Bucky went through, you do have some grasp on what he’s feeling. To you it’s obvious that he puts on a mask when he’s around people, and won’t let his feelings show unless he’s alone – harboring his emotions.
“I know how close you are with Buck, have you ever told him about how you felt? It always helps to talk to someone.” you tell him.
He shakes his head, “No, I don’t want to bother him. He has his own problems.”
“I’m sure he wouldn’t mind,” you tell him, but he just shakes his head again. “Well...I know we’ve just met, but you could talk to me. I mean, you just opened up to me in a kitchen within ten minutes of meeting me. I’m obviously a great listener Only if you want to, though,” you end with a hopeful smile.
Bucky finally looks away from the wall to look you in the eye with his eyebrows raised. “Really?” he asks and you nod. “That would be nice.”
And that’s where the bond between the two of you started, and it only continued to grow stronger. You would meet up with him for drinks, lunch, or just for a walk through the park. Bucky would tell you everything, from him joining the military and meeting Buck to what he has experienced throughout the past few years. You could tell that he would get emotional when he brought up certain topics, but he never cried around you, even though you always encouraged him to let his feelings out.
One day when he invited you to dinner, you brought it up to Marge. She quickly got excited and said it was a date, but you just brushed it off and told her it was just another casual meeting. Nonetheless, you still decided to put effort into your appearance – more than you normally do – and once the dinner was over, you realized she was right.
Bucky ended up confessing to you how his feelings for you have grown over the past few weeks. At first you were shocked, but when you realized he was being serious, you admitted that you felt the same way. 
You didn’t care that Bucky thought he was a ruined person with a lot of baggage, everyone has their hardships, after all. Bucky loved how you enjoyed being with him after everything he had told you, and how you accepted him for who he is now.
When you eventually told Marge that you and Bucky were official, she wasn’t surprised at all and brought up how she always said you would find someone. When Bucky had told his best friend, Buck was happy for him and gave Bucky his fair share of I told you so’s.
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letters-to-me · 1 year
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astro observations | pt. 1
Hi!🤍 This is my first post with astrology observations. I am not a professional astrologer, but I have been interested in astrology for several years.
Note: These are just my observations, you don't have to agree or identify with them. Do not take everything seriously. English is my second language so forgive me for mistakes and typos. do not copy, steal, rewrite my work, or repost on other social medias
Sun square Uranus creates highly individualistic and unconventional individuals who may appear selfish and eccentric. These people have a strong desire to showcase their uniqueness and serve as examples for others. They struggle with accepting authority and often resort to rebellious behavior to draw attention to themselves. A classmate of mine from primary school has this aspect and used to rebel against teachers to impress his friends. He also bullied the weaker ones. Moon sextile Mercury this aspect gives really good memory. People with this aspect are often very intelligent. These people are interested in their origin and roots. Mercury sextile Uranus gives the ability to discover and invent new things. These people like new technologies. They often need to exchanges ideas and opinions with others. They have novel way of thinking and they like to argue about opinions. Jupiter in 11th house people are really lucky when it comes to friends, groups. Others find it easy to befriend them. Even their open enemies are relatively respectful and have shown mercy. They usually have a lot of close friends. People with the Moon in Virgo feel that anything they do is not good enough for their standards and will always find something to complain or nag about. Virgo moons tend to get upset if certain things aren’t perfect. I also noticed Virgo moons can have severe bitch energy. Libra moons may avoid conflicts and confontation. People with Moon in Libra, that I know, love to be the centre of attention and are keen to express their opinions. Most of them can be people pleasers. Scorpio venus are incredibly receptive and observant. They can come off as very passionate but may also get attached very easily as well as being obsessive. It’s like a 'ride or die' placement. I’ve never met a person with Venus in Scorpio that didn’t obsess over their partner. Scorpio venuses smell bullshit from a mile away and are not afraid to tell you what’s up. Venus square Neptune people day dream a lot and idealize people. Venus square Neptune makes people have rose-coloured glasses. They are too forgiving. Mars in the 11th house may find it difficult to make and keep friends. There may occur competition amongst friends. These people also have a habit of distancing themselves too much and ghosting other people. Venus opposite Pluto natives tend to attract people who are obsessive, attached and controlling. There may be insecurities in relationships, such as an obsessive fear that your partner may cheat on you or leave you. You may feel tempted to control your partner. "Power is my mistress. I have worked too hard at her conquest to allow anyone to take her away from me." – Napoleon Bonaparte who had this aspect.
I hope you enjoyed it. Wish you all the best and have a wonderful Thursday!!!🤍
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cypherscript · 2 years
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Danny Phantom sits at a desk, papers stacked high, rubbing his face as an intense headache. There has been an alarming increase of jungle ghosts popping into the Zone and filing complaints.
"This is the last thing I need; people are coming back from the dead, rewriting the timeline, some shmuck is selling his soul like it's a pack of gum and now some human company is decimating the Amazon Rainforest to near extinction."
Stella, a fresh ghost with a space themed business suit who was his newest assistant floats into the room with more paperwork. "Here you go sir. More Amazon complaints, the ones who can recall their deaths report the gunmen had Lexcorp insignias."
"For Ancient's sake..."
"Sorry, sir."
"This is ridiculous, put a hold on any more complaints and let them know I'm stepping in now. I'm grabbing a couple of The Green ghosts and some of the Liminal in the living world. It's time to put this to an end." Phantom raises his hand, the Ring of Rage glows as a portal opens and he steps through into The Green's portion of the Zone.
***
An annoying short fight and Phantom has Undergrowth down, his blue aura flaring threateningly. Undergrowth concedes defeat from his King, "If you are here to End me, then do so. My children are screaming, uprooted and yet here I stay from your decree, my king. Unable to nurture and restore them."
"About that, you kind of jumped me before I could say anything," Phantom lowers his hand, energy dissipating into wisps, "I haven't been fair to you these last few months. I understand your purpose now and I'm here for your help."
"My help? The great King Phantom wants help from me?" Undergrowth's voice cannot hide the mirth on his face.
"I'm being swarmed by new ghost complaints about the Amazon Rainforest. I'm willing to let you out into the Living World with some other ghosts to fulfill your obsessions if you help me restore what was lost and keep the balance."
"I am... how the flesh bags say; intrigued."
"My only stipulation is that you do not kill the human locals or workers."
"...I suppose I can make do with that arrangement. Will my daughter be accompanying me?"
"Sam? I can ask but I do not believe she wants to be your daughter," Danny says as he lets Undergrowth float to his full height. "I'm also going to pick up some of the Liminal of Earth that can influence plants. I will say, the increase the undying happening should make this incredibly easy to persuade them. Gather a number of ghosts who can follow directions and meet back at the Keep."
"As you wish, my King," for once Undergrowth seemed happy to actual call him as such before bowing and flying off to gather the troops. Once more Phantom opened a portal, its swirling green and black causing shadows of the nearby trees to flicker before stepping trough onto a dirty and gloomy rooftop, rain steadily coming down across a city covered in vines and flowers with the sounds of fighting below.
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longlivedelusion · 2 months
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Absolute Beginners
[poly!Wolfstar x Reader]
A/N: Well, I made a self-indulgent drabble for my first wolfstar fic cause I had a rough day and needed it remedied via delusion. This is for my chronic fatigue fam who might not have the support they need. And yet they have things to do, like get a car or else they won't be able to get to work. 😬👍 So this is me rewriting a frustrating irl situation into a loving one! Hope you enjoy.
Song: Absolute Beginners by David Bowie
Warnings: none I think. Just fluff. Enjoy!
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"I'm so exhausted," I say as I walk into living room, bag barely hanging onto my shoulder as I drag myself to Remus. I flop down next to him on the couch, his arm instinctively reaching around me.
"I can imagine. You had a long day yesterday, sweetheart. Did the extra rest this morning help at all?" His hand reaches up to my head, gently petting me as if he were soothing an animal.
I nod slightly. "Yeah. Still feel like shite though. Not sure I have the energy to do all this."
"I know, but you have Sirius and I to help. You just need to be there to make sure you like the car, and we'll handle the rest ok?"
"Wish it didn't have to be today," I mumble. "M'hurt."
From the other end of the apartment, Sirius' voice booms across the otherwise quiet apartment. "Sorry, sorry. I'm ready, just got caught up with- oh what's this?" His eyes fall on my slouched against Remus, his eyes furrowing.
"They're still exhausted." Remus says quietly, hand softly moving against my hair.
"Baby-" Sirius' eyes soften, walking over in an instant as he kneels down beside the couch. "Was I too loud today? Did I keep you up?" He says, gently reaching up for my hand.
I hold his hand back, my grip loose around his. "No Pads, just think I need more time to rest up is all. And wish we didn't have to go out today of all days." The end coming out in a grumble.
"Is there no way to reschedule?" Sirius looks up at Remus.
He shakes his head, "I already tried to think, but we've already put it off enough. The day's coming up soon. But don't worry we'll take care of everything, alright darling?" Remus says as his hand moves down to cup my face.
I give a little nod and Sirius's face furrows even more. I hear him sigh as he goes to press a soft kiss to my knuckles. "Well, I'm more than happy to be the conversationalist today. Or your own personal pillow whenever you need." He says, his usual grin splaying across his face.
I smile, tiredly. "Thanks. I just hope we have everything, I wanted to ask so many questions but I-"
Remus chimes in, "I already have them written out. I also pulled some research together the other day to find all we need to look over for the car. One of us will even test drive it for you if you want, so you can just sit in the back seat and see if you like it or not while we handle the more technical things." He presses a kiss to my forehead. "We've got it all covered, don't worry."
I sigh, my shoulders sagging in relief. "Thank you two. I really really wish I wasn't so tired or foggy today of all days."
"That's what we're here for," Sirius says as his hands trace over my palm. "We help each other when we need it. You help Remus every month by making sure he's loved and cared during his transition, you help me when I have my... Moments. And we help you when you're exhausted or overwhelmed. It all works out!"
I look between my two boys, heart so full of gratitude. I'd never had someone to support me like this, to be so understanding and willing to help me when most would tell me to just push through. When I've had to just push through or cancel. Yet... I don't have to do this. Not alone at least. Because of their support. Their love.
Tears start to well up in my eyes as Sirius's widen. "Oh! No, no I didn't mean to make you cry baby."
Remus tilts my chin up so he can see my face better, softening as he notices the water pooling beneath my lashes. "Is it really too much? We can cancel, we can always find another way if it's too much for today." He gently wipes the tears away.
"No," I start, eyes downcast to hide my embarrassment. "I just... I'm still not used to being supported like this. I had to struggle on my own for so long that I- I don't believe you both are real sometimes."
I hear a soft whine from below as Sirius moves up behind my on the couch and wraps pulls my back to him, now sandwiching me between him and Remus.
"We're real, we're here." Remus whispers. His hand running softly across my arm now.
"And there's no way we're letting you do this alone anymore. Nope. You're stuck with us." I could hear Sirius' smirk, his arms wrapping tightly around.
"Exactly. And we wouldn't have it any other way."
I pull Remus to me, his arm resting over Sirius' shoulder now as I hug them both to me. "I love you two, you know that?" My voice comes out breathy.
"And we love you. So much." Remus says, eyes never leaving my face.
"As long as we're together," Sirius starts to sing a familiar melody, ever for the dramatics. Remus looks up to his boyfriend and rolls his eyes, the smile on his face showing he knew where this was going.
"The rest can go to hell." I feel Sirius lean down and whisper in my ear, making me chuckle.
"I absolutely love you." His fingers brushing past my hair. Remus is just as mesmerized, quietly listening.
"But we're absolute beginners."
"Kinda feels like it sometimes," I say.
"But if my love is your love," He sings with a softness now, turning my face toward him. His eyes deeply holding mine, mesmerizing.
"We're certain to succeed."
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