#i woke up this morning and got reminded of the fact that Alex dies in his original timeline in exchange for saving Trahearne

[tinotika-arts]

[Tell me why must one of us die so the other- no, so Tyria can live.]

[disneyprincemuke]

get this right * aa23

the thought of proposing to you is one that always comes easy to alex, but what he hadn’t expected is how difficult it is to execute it

pairings: alex albon x fem!reader

warnings: literally nOthing just a buNCH OF CUTE SHIT

notes: YALL i’ve been simping for this man for like weeks but in my head, he’s just such a sweetheart that i can’t imagine him in bad situations and nOW I FINALLY GOT IT

also… i’m really liking these multiple scenario fics… if you guys have any suggestions with stuff you want to see, please feel free to send them in here and this has been in my drafts since october oh my gooooood

(f1 masterlist)

“you’re telling me you already bought the ring?” max raises an eyebrow at alex, completely baffled at the story his friend has chosen to bestow upon them.

to the question, alex nods. his head snaps to george, who then asks, “and you’ve had it for almost a month?”

again, the thai nods. “and you have yet to propose?” lando says his piece, just as shocked as the rest of the table is.

alex can only nod, dropping his head in disappointment. in the middle of their circular table sat a red velvet box. inside it is the ring that alex had very carefully picked out with his sisters and mother.

yet the diamond ring sits comfortably in the box instead of your finger. and so does he amongst his friends while he faces the million dollar questions as to why he’s had the ring and has yet to propose to you.

“are you having second thoughts?” charles speaks up, tilting his head and biting his lips in curiosity.

if the answer were to be a ‘yes’, that would be worrisome. considering alex is one of the more romantic people they all know.

“no,” alex finally speak, putting a firm hand down on the table. he meets all of their eyes and feels the judgement. he sighs. “i’m not having second thoughts. i want to marry (y/n) just as much as i said before.”

george lifts his hands up and throws alex a questioning shrug. “so what’s holding you back then?”

“well…” alex chews on the inside of his cheek. he glances down at the box and scrunches up his nose, recounting the numerous times he has tried to get on one knee for you.

“i’m afraid it’s really not that simple.”

-> 20 days ago

alex glances at the door of your shared apartment then his eyes jump to the clock hanging just above your decorative plant. you should be home any minute.

the living room has been decorated beautifully with the help of his sisters. there is a singular heart helium balloon tied down to the bouquet of roses that sits on the kitchen island.

he’s even dressed up in his best suit to greet you a warm welcome home.

he sinks further into his couch, shaking his leg in anticipation. he runs his thumb over the velvet material of the box.

alex hadn’t been planning on proposing to you so soon, if he were to be honest. but he woke up that morning to empty half of the bed, with a note in your handwriting reminding him how much you love him and that breakfast is on the table.

his heart felt so full and he just knew today is the day.

so he got up and called his sisters up. they decorated the house together. with their help, he at least has the slightest idea of what to say to you.

it would be embarrassing if he was stuttering every 5 seconds thinking of what to say to you next.

it was 15 minutes later that he started to get worried about you. you usually get home from work around the same time whenever he’s in town — give or take about 5 minutes.

as if you’d read his mind, his phone lights up with a text notification from you.

my car died. can you pick me up please?

without another question, he is already typing a response to let you know that he will be on the way. he adds on the fact that he will call a tow truck for you after you send him your location.

when he gets there, he sighs in relief that you’re safe. he’d already known you were stuck in the parking lot of a mcdonald’s, but how can he really know when he’s rarely home?

you’re sitting on the trunk of your car, eating some ice cream with your phone propped up a box of nuggets. you’re fully occupied by a video you’ve put on to accompany yourself during the wait.

“my love, why didn’t you sit in the car where the seat’s more comfortable?” alex asks as he opens the car door.

you turn your head and open your mouth with an answer, but immediately close it when he comes into view. your eyes scan him up and down, slowly gulping the remaining ice cream in your mouth.

you point at him with the spoon of your mcflurry. “why are you dressed all fancy? you were gonna go out, love?”

alex freezes. he hadn’t even thought of changing out of his outfit before coming to get you. now he has to scrape his brain for an excuse to throw you off, without sabotaging the relationship whole.

it’s like a lightbulb goes off in his head. you’ll totally buy the excuse. “i was giving my clothes a test run,” he giggles sheepishly, but hesitantly from the daggers you were shooting at him. “wanted to see what fit and what didn’t.”

he can almost envision the gears turning in your head as you process his lie. he sighs again when you turn away to lock your phone.

he’s a very bad liar. for two people who have been together for as long as you’ve been, it’s very easy to spot all his telltales.

he tries his best not to lie to you. today is when he’s exerting every single ounce of his ability to do so.

“my car battery died. i saw a screw lose when i’d checked,” you explain, gently climbing off the back of your car. you waddle over to him, lips puckered up as he bends down to meet your lips. “i’m sorry to trouble you, love. i’m sure you were enjoying your fashion show.”

he chuckles, pulling you in for a quick hug. “anything for you, my love.” he walks over to where you are and opens the mcdonald’s paper bag. “oh, you bought us dinner?”

“you dinner,” you correct him. you lean slightly into him with a loud and frustrated huff with your arms hanging around him loosely. “i’ve had such a long day at work today. it could really be deemed as the worst day; i just want to go home and relax.”

alex scrambles in his mind, thinking of several ways he can deviate you from the house a little longer. he makes a mental note to text his sister to do a quick cleanup before you make your way home.

he simply refuses to propose to you when you’re in a bad mood. he doesn’t think your answer would change depending on how you currently feel, but it just doesn’t feel right.

alex hums, wrapping an arm around your shoulders and pulling you. “what do you say we go to our spot up in the hills and chill for a little bit?”

he watches you in anticipation. if you didn’t agree, he really wouldn’t know what to do at all. there are only so many excuses he can make. and there's only so much time before his sisters can get to the apartment and get cleaning.

“hm, okay." you lean into him and squeeze him in your hug. “anywhere with you is relaxing.”

-> 18 days ago

so alex shall try again in the planned department. he is once again in your shared apartment. there is a singular rose this time with dinner on the table. this time, decorated by himself.

he’s practised in the mirror. what he should say. everything he had planned out a few days ago is forgotten as the nerves are slightly different this time.

he doesn't get nervous often, but whenever it comes to you, it's inevitable that it bothers him. when it first happened, it was a confusing feeling that he spent days pondering what exactly it is.

when george smacked his head and told him, he looked down shyly at the ground and nodded.

he got the same feeling when he asked you to be his girlfriend and met your parents.

his chosen seat is a bar stool this time, and he plays some games on his phone to remain calm and collected. though still a little bit distracted.

his attention is split between the phone in his hands and the door. occasionally, the footsteps in the hallway make his heart stop as he looks up and waits for a lock to click. it's never the door he wants to open.

his game is briefly interrupted, his mother's picture flashing on the screen while his phone buzzes. it's not unusual that she's calling, but it is a bit of a shock since she knows he's planning to propose tonight.

he picks up the call, an explanation as to why he hasn't texted at the tip of his tongue.

“i’m sorry, sweetie,” his mother’s panicked voice comes through the phone. “can you please come over? it’s an emergency.”

that’s all he needed to hear before he was darting all over the apartment. he’s popped the balloon, as there was clearly no need for it tonight, the rose is hiding behind a bunch of folded shirts in his drawer and the velvet red box goes back into the deepest pit of his underwear drawer.

this time, he remembers to change out of his clothes. it’s slightly less put together than before, but it was still an effort.

“alex, love?” the sound of the door opening makes him perk up. your voice bounces through the apartment, followed by the pitter-patter of the cats’ nails against the hardwood floor. “are you home?”

he stumbles out of your bedroom, pulling up his sweatpants. “i need to go over to mum’s.”

you stop dead in your tracks, the door still held open and the key in your hands. clearly, you notice his panic in the way he’s barely even greeted you. you raise your eyebrows and step aside, leaving a gap for him to go through the door.

“i can drive you if you want,” you offer him, watching him jog towards the car keys.

he’s shaking, and it’s noticeable from the way he’s struggling to find his wallet. his wallet that is very clearly sitting above the shoerack in the entryway.

you grab it swiftly and say his name. it makes him stop briefly, turning to you as he held up the couch’s cushion, still in search of his wallet.

you lift up the leather item and then show him your car keys. you nudge your head towards the hallway. “come on, i’ll drive.”

-> 10 days ago

third time's the charm, right? right?

alex sits in his chair, hands fixing his collar, then his hair, picking at the menu, and then the lace table cover.

"hey, love," you say from behind him, bending down to press a kiss to his forehead. "i'm sorry i'm late. there was traffic in the parking lot at the office."

"don't worry about it. i just arrived not too long ago." alex gets up to his feet, pulling you in for a tight hug. he presses a chaste kiss to your lips before running over to pull your seat back for you.

you thank him with the squeeze of his arm while you take your seat. you grab the menu and get comfortable in your seat. "have you looked at the menu yet?"

"not yet, i was waiting for you."

he feels like a stalker watching you from across the table. his hand is in his jacket's pocket, rubbing circles over the velvety material once more. when exactly is the right time to ask you?

"how was work?" alex starts, taking the menu into his hands, looking at you shyly as he awaits your response.

"it's alright. nothing out of the ordinary from me," you mutter with a shrug, flashing him a small grin before returning your attention to the menu. "the pasta looks good, don't you think?"

"i saw their salmon dish online - that looked good," alex answers. but he's been on the same page of the menu for a hot minute, his eyes have read the same item so many times that he has its description memorised.

all he can think of is how to transition to popping the question.

"it does look delicious... do you want to share a dessert after too?" you inquire, looking up at him with a huge smile. "i really want the lava cake."

"with vanilla ice cream?"

"of course!"

and you make small talk with him. which almost makes him forget the ring that's in the pocket of his jacket. you talk and he thinks and thinks and tries to find the perfect time to pop the question to you.

until your smile drops and your head angles to the side slightly. your lips part as your eyes move from his, over to the door in pure shock.

"love, what's wrong?" alex follows your moving gaze.

and he also freezes in his seat. it's his ex-girlfriend. the same exact person that you'd mentioned you thought you could never live up to.

all because his mother had slipped up and asked about her over casual conversation over dinner, and because you had noticed that his sisters still kept in constant contact with her.

he watches you, from the corner of his eyes, sink into your seat and drop your head. you press your lips together and give him a small smile. "maybe let's cancel dessert? i'm not very hungry."

-> now

"do you get why it's a little complicated now?" alex groans, throwing his head back. "it's not like i haven't tried."

charles presses his lips together, nodding slightly as he tries to assess the situation for himself. he hasn't proposed to anybody in his life, so what advice does he have to give his friend? "maybe you're overthinking it?"

"yeah," george nods. "maybe you just have to... ask her. just ask her."

"you're aware i'm proposing to her. i'm not just asking some random girl to be my prom date to the dance," alex lays out his situation slowly, scanning his friends' faces carefully.

they're not serious about just asking you without a whole get-up, are they? he never would have asked them if he'd known how minuscule this issue was to them. it's never as simple as just asking you to marry him.

it's an important question.

"actually, i think twiddle dee and twiddle dum have got a point," max smiles, pointing at their two other friends now rolling their eyes. "if it all keeps blowing up in your face when you plan your proposal, maybe you just need to do it when you... get the feeling. you know?"

"no."

"just do it when you're so overwhelmed at the thought of spending the rest of your life with her," george shrugs, taking a sip from his drink. "would help the nerves, and it makes it more genuine."

alex shakes his head. "i don't know. that doesn't make the moment very special, now, does it?"

"just try it, and then let me know."

-> 5 days later

"love!" your excited voice fills the house, prompting alex to lift his head from the armrest of the couch.

he'd been home all day, claiming a rest day from the gym and other press commitments before he had to do it all over again this weekend for another race.

"yes, love?" alex smiles, opening his arms, watching you walk out of the kitchen and excitedly walk over to him. "what's got you so preppy?"

"love, i was outside coming home from work, and i saw the cutest little snail right outside the apartment building," you giggle, dropping your bag by the foot of the couch. you drop yourself into his arms, adjusting yourself to fit the small space that the couch provides you. "i took a picture, look!"

"you took a picture of a snail?"

"yes!" you nod. "its shell looked so beautiful. and i even moved it to the side so that nobody could step on it unknowingly. just so sad when that happens to them."

and then he knows. it hits him, then and there, while you were rambling on about how beautiful this snail's shell is, that this is the moment. this is the moment that max was talking about.

he props his head up with his hand, nodding as you zoom into the picture you'd taken.

"we should get married," alex blurts, unable to hold himself back. the ring is not even with him - it's somewhere in the back of his closet. but it doesn't even seem like a necessary accessory for him at the moment.

"what?" you tilt your head, slowly dropping your hand into your lap. you sit up and look down at him. "alex, what did you say?"

"i have the ring and everything. hold on." alex scrambles to get off his seat, but you shake your head and put a hand over his chest. you pull him back into the couch, maintaining his position next to you with a puzzled stare.

"did you just say what i thought you just said?"

"yes. and i've been trying to propose to you all month," alex sighs, "something always goes wrong: your car broke down, my mum called, then we saw my ex in the restaurant. i tried setting it up, and of course, i ask you when i don't have the ring with me."

he's flailing his arms in the air as he explains his troubles to you, ultimately throwing his hands towards the direction of your bedroom before he slumps his shoulders and looks at you. "i wanted it to be a picture-perfect moment. i wanted it to be everything you dreamt about growing up. remember?"

"so i heard you right? you're asking me to marry you?" you can barely hide the smile growing on your face, eyes tearing up as you grab his hands. "i don't care about the ring. you're asking me to marry you?"

"do you still want to? i couldn't even propose to you right."

"of course, i want to marry you," you giggle, throwing your arms around him. you pepper his cheek with kisses, alex hesitantly wrapping his arms around your waist as he leans back onto the couch. "i love you, alex. you just had to ask me the question. i don't care how, where or when you'd say it."

"obviously, i didn't know that until now," alex laughs. he buries his face into your hair, making a mental note to thank max next weekend for the helpful tip.

[greenygreenland]

Dream A Little Dream of Me: Norman x Reader (Part Three)

-part three is here! I had to slice it in two because apparently there's a certain word block limit (at least on mobile). So get ready for part four!

Summary: You can’t remember anything.

Month four, 08:00

The last thing you recalled was the face of a boy with light hair. His eyes were bright, swirling with love and affection you looked for everyday. Whenever you woke up, you couldn’t remember his name, or his sweet voice that called out to you in your dreams.

All you had was the light of day and the rising sun. It made you sad to look upon it alone in your room. Someone else were supposed to be by your side, right next to you. But who?

And then there was the absence of a motherly figure--a woman you only recalled through song. How was it you remembered that melancholy tune but not a name or face? You wished you knew, and you prayed everyday to whoever was up there to give you another chance. Another go at life--with the people you never knew the names of.

“Good morning, Letha.”

You met the old man’s gaze with a simple nod. His crinkly voice was one of the things you actually didn’t mind, even if it was hard to hear at times. 

The old man, Alex, was kind, but the most you conversed about were your lost memories, your insane knacks for weapons, chess, and lastly, intelligence.

Time wasn’t friendly, and a month passed uneventfully. It turned into two, which turned into three and so on. Every now and then, you wondered if you’d stay like that: a blank slate. Alex said there was this one philosopher who called it a ‘tabula rasa’. For some reason, that fact reminded you of someone long ago.

Dark hair, the smell of old books, dust hidden between bookshelves...

You began to make out the image of a boy. He was no older than you, with cool eyes, a warm, yet small smile. Who was he? His name was at the tip of your tongue, yet it wouldn’t come out.

Ren? Reylo? Tired Cyclops? No, that wasn’t it. Obviously.

It hurt to think too much about it, and before you could grasp onto it, the memory faded, along with the name.

“Don’t think too hard,” Alex warmly said. “I’m sure it’ll come with time.”

He hoped to help you recover your lost memories, but in the meantime, he’d do his best to support you, just as he’d done with his long, dead daughter. For that reason, he felt it was time to bring you to the world outside. In this town you both resided in, everyone died in a war.

Alex was the only survivor.

For that reason, he was the only person you ever got to know these past seven months. There was no one your age around here, and it wasn’t like you went far anyway. Every now and then, Alex brought you a few towns over to experience a nice train ride to his favourite shops. Then he’d buy you something and take pictures.

But now? He felt it was time to take it a step further. He wasn’t sure if you’d like the idea, but it was worth a try.

SEVEN MONTHS LATER, 06:28

“Come again?” you inquired. Alex took a sip of his coffee and stood from the chair. The wooden floorboards of the cabin creaked under his weight. He waddled over to the window, drawing open the plaid curtains. Warm rays of sunlight fluttered upon your face and Alex smiled warmly like he always did.

“It’s time you get out more,” he said, “and experience the world outside this old town. I want you to look across the horizon because there’s more than the cabin.” You knitted your brows together. You didn’t like how cryptic he was being. It reminded you of someone you once knew, someone who you held close to your heart.

“Gramps, what are you trying to say?”

Alex heaved in a long breath, as if he were afraid of saying it himself. “I want you to go to school. College, if you want the specifics.” Your eyes doubled in size and you hoped, prayed, that he would take it back and say it was a joke. College? You didn’t need a degree! And besides, it was expensive. You couldn’t afford something like that. But alas, Alex wasn’t one to joke about serious things like that. He was an old man, so he always meant what he said.

This time was no different.

“You mean it,” you practically whispered. “That you want me to go to college.” Alex nodded, absentmindedly running a hand through his thick, white beard. There was a long pause and you took the time to sip your tea. Would school benefit you in some way? Was it worth the time? The work?

It didn’t make sense. You were smart. Alex said it himself: “I haven’t met anyone as smart as you”. So why did he want to send you to school? It had to be more than just to “meet people” because you did that all the time on the train every few days.

“What’s so good about college, Gramps? We can’t afford to pay for something so expensive. I don’t want to see you in debt just because of me.”

Through your calm façade, Alex noticed the spark of uncertainty in your eyes. Throughout the long days he got to know you, he realised one thing: you were never keen on showing your emotions.

“I want to give you an opportunity to find yourself,” he finally replied. “If the people you knew are around your age, then going to school might bring something back. You know, jog your memories. Besides that, I want you to have a life more than that I can offer. There’s nothing in this small town.”

“I don’t know about that. I have you here. You’re all I know, Gramps.”

Alex knitted his bushy brows together. “I know, but I can’t always be the only one you know. Don’t you want to see the world?”

It wasn’t that going to college was excruciatingly disappointing, only that it was a means of giving out false hope. How could you cling onto something so child-like and unreliable? 

Hope could only get people so far. You were no different.

That night, you lay in bed, wide awake. A nagging thought kept pulling at the back of your mind, repeating itself over, and over, and over again until you couldn’t stand the phrase. But as soon as you repeated it with your own lips, it vanished as if it never existed.

You lay in bed for a little longer, fighting the lull of sleep. It pulled on your eyes, and your head nodded as you forced down a yawn. Sleep was for the weak. If you stayed awake a little longer, maybe you might remember something, right?

-----

The grass tickled your bare feet. If it were any normal day, you would have liked to lay down in its warm embrace with Emma, Ray and Norman. You could watch the clouds together, and wonder about life outside these concrete walls.

But that was stupid to think about, wasn’t it? The liberty to relax and do absolutely nothing had been striped from your very being, like the air that you gasped and chocked on. You held your shoes tightly to your chest and frantically glanced past your shoulder. Good. All clear, just how you liked it.

Norman and Emma lay a couple hundred meters behind. They were your eyes, the two little owls that perched high above with all-seeing eyes. With a grunt, you hopped over a thick tree root and tossed aside your shoes. They landed somewhere in the brush, right where the trees parted.

You came to a stop and glared at the concrete wall towering over you. If you completed your mission and everything remained as straight-forward as you wanted it to be, then you’d escape with everyone. Just like Emma wanted. Just like you tried so hard to believe.

But what if something happened? What if Don and Gilda were caught? Or worse, what if Mama suspected that Ray betrayed her? Surely she wouldn’t go as far as to eliminate him on the spot...

...right?

You clenched a fist so tightly that your knuckles turned white. Stop. Stop it, you told yourself. You had to have faith in your family. They were just as capable as you, maybe even more, so they’d have no issues. You had to focus on your job so they could do theirs.

“My, so this is where you’ve run to?”

You sucked in a sharp breath.

No, that couldn’t be. You made sure she wouldn’t know where you were. You told all the precautions, too. Were Emma and Norman okay? What about Ray? And Don and Gilda?

“I’m surprised you managed to make this far.” Mama stiffly said. “You never were as strong as Emma, or fast either.”

It was like the sun stopped shining. Your blood ran cold. The warm rays turned to ice.

“It’s not too late to turn back (Y/n).” Her voice was silky smooth, tempting almost, as if she were coaxing a frightened sheep to the slaughter. “You’ve improved, my dear, but is it enough? Once your plan crumbles, what will you do then? It wouldn’t be a bad idea to become a mama. It’s the reliable path. You will survive and you will be happy.”

For a moment, you wondered if she actually cared about you. Maybe her love was all fake from the beginning and she didn’t care about you. Or your family. Or anything but survival in this cruel world.

You never loved us.

That was what you wanted to say, yet the words stuck in your throat like glue. If she didn’t love you, then why did she hold you so tightly when you had a nightmare? If she didn’t love you, then why did her eyes shine with pride when you got perfect scores?

“Come, my dear,” Mama coaxed. “Let’s go home.”

The sudden urge to laugh bubbled in your throat like lava.

Home? This was a prison in disguise.

It’s not too late to turn back? A lie.

It wouldn’t be a bad idea to become a mama? As if.

You couldn’t afford to betray your family. Not after all you’ve done, and not after all the effort. They relied on you. You weren’t going to let them down.

You turned on your heel to face Mama. She smiled at you, but it wasn’t a nice smile. It made your stomach twist and turn, reminded you just how much of a danger she could be. Your gaze focused past her shoulder, where a familiar head of orange stood.

Emma peeked out from behind the trees and held up the bag of rope. Norman stood from a cluster of bushes and motioned the the wall. They were going to climb it while you distracted Mama. Perfect.

A bright grin broke out onto your lips. “I’m sorry Mama.” you began.

She stood like a statue with wide eyes. “Are you now?” she inquired. You were finally conceding in this fiery war of wits. After all that fuss and now would she have you back by her side? She opened her arms to welcome you. It was all she could do with her prized little girl. Finally you were being smart. Finally you were choosing the reliable path. You were going to follow in her footsteps. Survive. And outlive everyone in this house like she had.

But then something happened. Emma burst from the bushes, followed by Norman who helped throw the rope up a nearby branch. That triggered you into action, and you lunged at Mama with all the strength you could muster.

“I will never--!”

You wrestled for her watch.

“--ever--!”

Mama tugged on your little arms.

“--leave my family behind!”

You yanked the stupid watch out of her hands, but just as you stood, Mama grasped onto your leg and tugged. Hard. She gave it a squeeze, and a sickening crack echoed in your ears. You screamed. Your ears rung and you heaved in a strangled breath.

“You should have taken the reliable path.” Mama’s calm voice made you want to vomit. “None of us would be here if you had listened to your mama.”

-----

Your eyes shot open and you jolted awake. The faces, the voices, the senses--they flashed before you in a whirl of colours and sounds. Why couldn’t you recall who they were? Or what their names were? You knew every single one of them by heart, yet your mind lay completely blank. Again.

The urge to punch your mattress overwhelmed your senses.

“Good morning,” came Alex’s crinkly voice. That snapped you out of your frustrated stupor. He stood in the doorway, a warm smile on his lips and a spatula in hand. “Pancakes are almost done. Today we’ll get you settled in your dorm.”

Oh. Right. Gramps was sending you to a boarding school. The thought of leaving your beloved bed left you queasy and sluggish. Why should you go somewhere so far away from this cozy, little cottage? It was only recently that you settled here too. Maybe Gramps was taking it too fast.

With a heavy heart, you lugged yourself out of bed and threw on a pair of warm clothes. The unforgiving climate of this land was not one you would challenge. Ever.

The moment you emerged from your room was the moment you understood Gramps’s insistence. He meant well, you knew, but in a way you didn’t appreciate. Going out gave you a higher chance of meeting whomever you knew. It was completely logical.

“Are you worried?” Gramps began, placing a stack of pancakes on your plate. “I’ve already informed your school teachers of your amnesia, so they’ll understand. As for your dormitory, everything has been set. And don’t forget your breakfast, lunch, and dinner plans, as well as your--”

“You seem more anxious than me, Gramps.” you said with a subtle smile. He stared at you, wide-eyed until he mirrored you with a chuckle. “I suppose you’re right. I just want to make sure the transition goes smoothly.”

“Of course.”

“And that you’re safe and okay.”

“Gramps--”

“And that you won’t have to worry about a thing.”

“--the pancake’s burning.”

That set him off. He jolted out of his chair faster than his age and capabilities should have allowed. It was a miracle too, because the poor pancake was seconds away from catching fire on the pan. A long sigh left Gramps’s lips as he turned off the stove. “I think I’ll give this to the birds.”

“You best do that, because I won’t eat that piece of charcoal.”

You shared a quick chuckle between each other, savouring the warmth and comfort that came. If someone else had found you that day in the field of endless grass, you weren’t sure if you’d be so lucky. It was by chance Gramps was the one to discover you, so you couldn’t imagine life otherwise.

Once your pancakes were gone and your bag all packed, you traveled to the train station in the early rays of sun. Gramps was the type of enjoy the silence of nature, but to you, it was excruciating.

It didn’t matter where you went. Each time, you looked past your shoulder, to the fading mountains, to the little rabbits that scurried by. It was like you were on survival mode. But why should you be when there was nothing out here? It was so peaceful, so wonderful that you couldn’t imagine anything coming out to get you.

Smile. It’s okay, I promise. I’m here.

You froze and glanced past your shoulder towards the rolling hills and the fading grass. That voice--you knew it. But had you dreamed it up? There was no one here but you and Gramps. A short sigh left your lips and all Gramps could do was ruffle your hair comfortingly.

The train ride was nice. With the calm chugging and the way it swayed, you didn’t mind it at all. Every now and then, your eyes fluttered open and closed. Maybe you were tired. Maybe you weren’t a morning person. Whatever the reason, you submitted to the lull and closed your eyes.

-----

Not a single soul moved for what felt like centuries. The moment Ray, Gilda and Don arrived at the scene, it was clear that nothing else could be done. Mama smiled at her children viciously. She wasn’t here to play nice any longer. Today, she was the hunter and her children the prey.

“It was a clean break. She will recover smoothly,” Mama curtly announced. “And Norman?”

You didn’t like the way she looked at him, or the way her grip seemed to tighten on your limp arms. Her gaze dangerously narrowed and she said, “Your shipment date has been set.”

Your heart stopped and your blood ran cold. Norman’s shipment date had been set? No, that couldn’t be. Your plan required at least another week until everything fell into place. Norman was the core of it all. Without him, what would you do?

And speaking of which, he was going to die.

Die.

Die.

Die.

He was going to die.

You squirmed in Mama’s grasp, hoping--praying that you could maneuver around this. Norman wasn’t going to die. You wouldn’t let him.

“Let me--let me go!”

It was reckless and it was stupid to think he’d be able to evade Mama’s sight just like that, but you had to try.  Didn’t Emma say you’d all leave here together? “Norman--!”

He blinked as if he’d woken up from a long dream. The forced smile the sprouted on his lips looked painful. Don’t struggle, it said.

Don’t struggle? How did he expect you to sit around and do nothing? If anyone should be shipped out first, it should be you. Why? Because you wouldn’t be able to live with yourself if you let any of your family go.

Mama glared down at you with a cold smile. “You can’t fight me more than you can stop the sun from setting,” she said, heaving you higher off ground. Your leg hit her arm and a cry escaped your lips. Norman flinched and Emma remained frozen in place.

You were always the strong one, not Emma, not Ray, and not Norman. Because you were one of the eldest, it was your responsibility to be the shoulder to cry on and to stand when no one else could. To see you holding back tears and gritting your teeth tight enough to make your gums bleed made Norman’s little heart break.

He didn’t care about his shipment date. All he wanted was to see you safe.

The rest of the day passed in a blur of faces, voices and regrets. The sharp pain in your leg long faded, leaving only a dull throb that stayed as a reminder of your failure. Yes, that was what you were, right? You couldn’t complete the plan even with Don, Gilda and Ray distracting Mama. You were pathetic. A waste of space.

The door creaked open and you sat up a little straighter. You smiled at the trio as they entered the room. “Hey guys.”

“How are you feeling?” inquired Norman. He took a seat by your bedside and gave your hand a gentle squeeze. Ray pulled up another chair. He hid his face behind his fringe to conceal his grim frown. It didn’t work though, and you merely smiled at him. He huffed irritably, as if he didn’t want you to know he worried so much.

“I didn’t think she’d go that far.” Ray quietly muttered. You knitted your brows together with a absentminded shrug. “And to think I was that close to getting her watch.” Emma’s shoulders sagged. “I wish I had--”

“It’s fine Emma.” you said with a warm smile. “Broken bones heal, it’s not permanent.” She looked like she wanted to say something, but with the warm smile on your face, she couldn’t gather the courage to. Instead, she settled for a tight hug.

It was hard to look her in the eye anyway. The sadness she tried so hard to force down only added to your guilt, and you weren’t sure if you could think straight with all the regret.

“I’m sorry this happened.” you began. “Now that I’m hurt, you’re worrying for me.”

Emma pulled away as Norman gave a firm shake of his head. “None of this is anyone’s fault.” he stated. "None of us saw that coming, and even if we did, I’m not sure we’d be any good outwitting Mama on the spot like that.” He offered a gentle smile that made you feel just a little bit better.

-----

Gentle smiles. A warm summer breeze. Soft kisses. Tender touches. That was what reminded you of the boy in your dreams. Although you couldn’t recall his face every time you awoke, you remembered the fact that he was handsome and kind.

Gramps offered a warm smile. “Good morning.” You covered your yawn with a hand. “I’m assuming we’re here?”

He nodded. “Are you excited?” It was obvious Gramps knew the question. He only wanted to hear the answer from your mouth rather than from an assumption. As much as you wished to be excited for such a grand opportunity, you weren’t sure you’d like school. Well, how could you guess when you’ve never been to school in the first place?

At least from what you could recall.

“I still don’t know how to feel about this,” you quietly say. Gramps guides you along the walkway and out of the train, where you step out of the station and to the bustling streets of the city. You frown. Gramps said you were going to a boarding school, was it supposed to be somewhere as crowded as here?

From what you read, boarding schools needed large spaces to accommodate dormitories, classrooms, and sports fields. Was there such a thing as space in this congested collection of skyscrapers?

You shook your head to yourself and followed Gramps down whatever path his old-fashioned map led him to. He walked slow. Too slow for your liking. Not only that, but with all the people around, you couldn’t bear not to stick close to his side. What if he got lost? What if you got lost? Or kidnapped and sold on the black market for organs?

Maybe you were just paranoid.

The looming skyscrapers offered no comfort, and the cool breezes that sent shivers down your spine weren’t helping either. You hopped over a patch of ice and pulled your jacket closer just as Gramps came to a stop.

A lot of land stood in the middle of all the skyscrapers, where a pale field of grass stretched out over the acres of land. Buildings that looked like castles peppered themselves out in the form of classrooms, mess halls, and corridors.

You stood in the shadow of the tall brick walls. It separated the school from the rest of the city. An overwhelming feeling of bittersweet hope filled your system, as if you’ve stood in front of a wall like this before. Had you been here? No. You were sure this was your first time seeing the school.

“Take care Letha.” Gramps said. “Don’t forget to eat and exercise, as well as make some new friends. I expect you to call at least once a week, just so I know you’re doing fine.” You smiled a little, cheeks warm in embarrassment. “Gramps, I’m old enough to take care of myself.”

“I know, I know. Just...this is a big step for you.”

“Yeah, that’s true.”

“Be careful, and have fun. Even if you don’t remember anything, as long as you have fun, it’s fine.” He wrapped you in a tight hug. “And most importantly, I love you Letha.”

You basked in the warmth of his arms. You didn’t need to worry about your memories in that moment because you had Gramps. He was your world. Your family. What more could you ask for? But then he pulled away, and the warmth didn’t linger.

You were still incomplete.

The next day, you found yourself wandering the halls aimlessly, picking apart each detail and escape route in sight. The hall to your left had an exit to the school courtyard, a peaceful place with metal chairs and picnic tables. To your right sat another hall, which also had an exit to another courtyard. Then in front of you stood the front entrance, where the side exits fanned out in the halls next to it.

“Hey, you’re the new girl, right? Letha Meek-aye...Mikhaylov?”

You spun around faster than the speed of light. In front of you stood a girl, perhaps a year older with an unfriendly frown. She wore the generic school uniform: black skirt, long socks, white blouse, gray sweater vest, and a tie. Her bright, red locks stood out like a sore thumb. They curled past her shoulders in beach waves, framing her narrow, freckled face in rouge.

For a moment, you blanked out. When was the last time you spoke to someone, much less a teenager your age? Even though this girl wasn’t intimidating, it wasn’t like you wanted to talk to her. The point of coming here was to figure out if anything jogged your memory and then leave. It wasn’t playtime. “I’m new.” Your voice came out calmer than you felt. “Is that an issue?”

Despite the pointed look on her face, you had a feeling she was one of the nicer people in the area. She had a soft look in her green eyes, as if she understood what it felt like to be a new kid. “I’m Flanna Morris,” she said with a small smile. “Nice to meet you Letha.”

Flanna had an accent. By the hard ‘r’s and the elongated ‘oo’ sounds, you guessed she had to be from Ireland. Gramps told you it wasn’t too far from here, but still a while away.

You sent Flanna a cautious side eye. She was being too friendly. “Yeah, nice to meet you too...Flanna.” A hearty laugh that bellowed in her stomach echoed in the quiet corridors. “Look,” she said, “I’m not here to bully you. I just wanted to offer some help.”

Help? Yeah right. No one in this world offered help without asking for something in return. Besides Gramps maybe--but he was a special case, it didn’t count.

“Come on, I’ll show you around Letha.” The look on Flanna’s sweet face made it hard to decline. If you weren’t interested in seeing if there were any places you missed, then you would have declined. But perhaps Flanna could show you more than the shallow surface of this boarding school.

You passed to through the quiet corridors, where the sun shone through the windows overlooking the street. The sun rose over the horizon and up the edge of the skyscrapers’ base. Cars bustled about, and even through the thick brick walls, you heard all the honking and yelling of the early morning traffic.

“So, where’re you from?” Flanna inquired. You tugged on the strap of your bag’s shoulder strap. “Far away.”

“What do you mean by ‘far away’?”

“I mean the countryside.” you clarified. Flanna ‘ohhh’ed. “The city must be a huge change for you then, I know it was for me.” You knitted your brows together. So she was from the countryside in Ireland? That’s more than a simple change of scenery. No wonder Flanna wanted to help you.

“Okay, so here’s the science hall. Ms. Darsey is one of the best teachers you can have around. You’re a juniour, right? I’m a senior--if you couldn’t already tell...”

Flanna talked a lot. No, she didn’t just love talking, she loved explaining all her experiences with x, y, and z teacher, as well as what classroom and what day of the month it was. She had a wonderful memory, you had to admit, but that made her stories long. Her energy was like a breath of fresh air, and that red hair of hers sparkled like jewels in the morning light.

Flanna’s hair was fiery just like a girl’s you used to know. Her face wasn’t clear in your mind whenever you thought of her, but the joy she always brought you stayed. It made your heart warm. Flanna seemed to have a similar effect, but not as strongly as the girl you once knew.

“You have Mr. Dursley for English,” she noted. “Make sure you don’t stick out. He’s a big pain and if you’re late, he’ll give you a detention.” You raised a brow. Mr. Dursley detained teenagers for being late? What kind of nonsense was that? You decided to phone Gramps later and ask him if that were true. He’d know. Hopefully.

The look on your face made Flanna chuckle, but you had a feeling she didn’t understand your thought process. “Don’t worry,” she casually said. “You’ll be fine. I bet’cha Connor and James will be the first to get a detention. They’re both trouble makers--little devils. Especially James.” You stared up at Flanna’s bright, green eyes. They sparkled like the sun against her hair. You’ve seen that look before, the one of unsaid love and adoration. Long ago, someone looked at you like that.

But who?

You wracked your brain for answers. It was on the tip of the tongue. Right there--just in front of you. Yet it was as if something were preventing you from seeing the truth. The one postulate you knew stuck throughout the days you’ve forgotten who you once were.

Backtrack. Backtrack.

A boy. Light hair. Soft eyes. Kind smile. A laugh that was like music. And the calling of your name.

“(Y--n)!”

Yes, that was the sound of his voice, right? Or maybe it was a stranger’s instead, someone’s you’ve heard on the street. Then whose name was that? Was it even a name to begin with? Maybe it was a word instead and you misheard it as a name. That thought made your heart throb in the worst way possible. Ice filled your veins, and you found yourself pausing to stare out the crystal, clear windows.

“Something wrong?” Flanna inquired. You blinked away the haze and turned to her with a shake of your head. “Just nervous.” A bright smile burst onto Flanna’s lips. “Ah, I see. No worries, you’ll do great. And if you don’t it’s your first day, right? Nothin’ wrong with messin’ up a little.”

You wished you could believe Flanna, but something deep in your heart said otherwise. A slip-up could cost someone more than their reputation. Possibly their life. You couldn’t speak from experience, but you were sure you’d seen a sacrifice. Long ago. Far away in the distance.

Flanna stopped in front of your first period class. “We still have about fifteen minutes before school starts. Everyone’s probably in the cafeteria eating breakfast or fooling around in the field. I recommend you come early to class so you don’t get caught up in the crowd.” And with that, she waved, turning on her heel to hurry away. “I’ll see you during lunch! We have it together, so I’ll come find you in the cafe!”

She rounded a sharp corner and disappeared, leaving you alone in the quiet hall. You peeked in through the open door. At a long desk sat a teacher, who stood at the notice of your presence. She wore thin glasses on her old squarish face, a white blouse with a tie, a woolen navy blazer, and black trousers with heels to match.

The teacher had a kind face, with eyes that were soft with years of wear and tear. The smile on her lips said it all--she had seen things. Many things. “Welcome, I assume you’re Letha Mikhaylov?” She had a crinkle in her voice like the edges of her eyes when she smiled. It complimented her kindly face.

“Yes.” you replied. “That’s me.”

“Well I’m Mrs. Walker.” She motioned for you to come in, that sweet smile still on her lips. “I don’t mean to be rude, but I’ve been informed that you have amnesia. May I ask how much you remember?” You folded your hands together. It was the least you could do to look less nervous.

“I remember skills, knowledge, and the arts. I do not recall my original name or what my life was like before, but I am still highly-functional. It is a pleasure to make your acquaintance, Mrs. Walker. ”

The way you worded your sentences was off-putting to the teacher. It wasn’t normal for high school students to be so in-line, much less well-off with their manners.

From the report she read, you were taken in by Alex Mikhaylov, a writer who lived in an old, deserted town. He claimed he’d been trying to help you re-gain your memories for nearly a year, but from the looks of it, there wasn’t much to go off of.

Mrs. Walker took a seat at her neat desk. A pencil sharpener sat at the corner along with a tissue box, stapler, tape dispenser, and a plastic name plaque. In bolded letters it said, Mrs. Walker. Of course, in cursive. A few photos were cramped by her computer, where she stood there, smiling with a young girl and a man. Mrs. Walker looked to be around twenty-eight to thirty in that photo.

You stood by her desk awkwardly. Were you supposed to sit in the back? Near the window? Or in the front? The sinking feeling of unfamiliarity plagued your mind as you ran a hand through your locks.

There weren’t any other students here besides you.

“You may take a seat wherever you’d like Letha,” Mrs. Walker said. “I do not assign seats in this class, but if there is an issue, I can if you’d like. Is there anything I should know about you?” You shook your head and took a seat by the window. The football fields, frost-bitten and white, stretched out as far as the eye could see. A little to the left of that were the dormitories. Red brick walls and sparkling clean window panes, just like every other building at the school.

Winter was a wonderful season, but you wished it weren’t so cold all the time. Maybe if there were a bit of snow, it would cheer you up, jog your memory even. “I’m not sure if I have anything of importance.” Your voice echoed in the deserted classroom like a bell. “But I hope I can do my best.”

A smile broke out onto Mrs. Walker’s lips. “Don’t hope, do.”

And so you did. You vowed to do what you could with whatever you could. You weren’t going to hope to do your best, or hope to find your memories because you would. They’d come back to you, and you were going to do everything in your power to get them back.

PART FOUR COMING SOON [GIVE ME LIKE THREE DAYS TO ADD A BONUS PORTION BECAUSE I LOVE YOU GUYS] -->UPDATE: PART FOUR HERE <--

[like-a-bag-of-potatoes]

Playing With Fire - Mrs. Andrews

A/N: So this is my first crack at Chicago fire fanfiction, so don't judge too hard, alright? This will unfold from the beginning of season three, so if you haven't watched it yet, but plan to; SPOILER ALERT! I tried to follow along with the storyline of the show, but some things have been changed. Shout out to my superawesome beta @thorne93, you rock! 

A/N 2: Just one more part after this, guys. Thank you to everyone who has stuck with this, been patient with my very flimsy posting schedule, and to those who has showed me love throughout this series. You are all AMAZING!

Fandom: Chicago Fire

Pairing: Kelly Severide x Beth (OFC) 

Warnings: None I think

Wordcount: 2225

MASTERLIST

A million thanks to @campingmonkey​ for making this GIF for me on request. You’re the best!

Kelly didn't really understand what was happening when his alarm went off at 4am. He was ready to roll around and continue his sleep when he remembered why he had set his alarm in the first place. He basically rolled himself off the couch with a groan and padded his way to Beth's room. 

Nightmares plagued Beth's sleep. Over and over again she saw that car coming towards her in slow motion. A loud crash, followed by Alex running away, and then she was all alone. No help ever came. When Kelly gently nudged her arm, she jerked awake.

“Sorry,” he whispered as Beth sat up in her bed. 

“No, it's okay,” she said, rubbing her eyes with the heels of her hands. 

Kelly sat on the edge of her bed, concern etched into his handsome face as he placed a hand on her knee. “Are you okay?” 

“Yeah. I'm fine. Just a bad dream.” 

“Want to talk about it?” he asked. 

"I don't remember what it was,” she lied. 

“Alright.” He gave her knee a firm squeeze. “Try and get some more rest. I'm right in there if you need me,” he reminded as he got to his feet again. He was just about to go back to the living room when a small, gentle hand closed around his wrist. He looked down to where their hands connected before he let his eyes meet hers. 

It took a second for her to find her voice. “Can you stay here with me?” 

She sounded so vulnerable, so broken, that Kelly was powerless to deny her anything. He nodded his head without saying a word and Beth moved over to make room for him before he climbed in. Neither of them spoke as Beth reached down and laced their fingers together, resting her head on his shoulder. Kelly kissed her hair and whispered a goodnight, and before long, Beth had drifted off to sleep again. Kelly on the other hand, didn't want to sleep right away, he wanted to stay awake a little and just enjoy the moment. It was nice to have her so close again, to feel her hand in his as he listened to her heavy, sleep filled breaths. Yes, he definitely needed to savor this moment for as long as he possibly could. 

Beth woke up alone the next morning. Kelly had woken up at eight that morning, but he didn't have the heart to wake her up, so he had let her sleep. It was nearly an hour later when Beth came padding into the kitchen, her hair sticking out to all odds and end, her eyes still filled with sleep. 

“Morning,” Kelly greeted, flashing her that charming smile of his. One thing he had learned about her was that she wasn't human until she had her morning coffee, so as soon as he saw her, he started getting a cup ready for her. 

“Morning,” she greeted back, sending him a smile as he handed her the mug. She took a deep breath before she spoke. “Thank you for staying with me,” she said softly. 

“Don't mention it,” he said kindly as they both took a seat at her table. “You remember what you were dreaming?” 

“Just the accident,” she said, not looking up at him. “Apparently my brain thought it would be fun to play it on a loop in slow motion.” 

“Are you okay?” he asked again, worrying his brows. 

“I promise.” 

“Can I ask you something?” he asked tentatively and Beth answered with a nod. “You said you’re claustrophobic,” he started. 

“Mhm..” 

“Does that have anything to do with why you left NYFD?” 

Beth sighed and put her cup on the table. “It was a building collapse,” she started. “My partner and I got trapped with a patient we were trying to save. The patient died on impact, and my partner was badly injured. We were stuck there for nearly eleven hours,” she said with pain in her voice. 

“I'm sorry, Beth,” he said, reaching out to give her hand a comforting squeeze. “How’s your partner?” 

“He didn't make it.” A tear fell from her eye and she wiped it away. “My leg was pinned under some rubble and I couldn't get to him. So I just had to sit there and watch him die,” she sniffled at the memory. 

Kelly got up from his seat and rounded the table, crouching down in front of her. It wasn't hard to understand why she had reacted the way she did when she got pinned in that car. He didn't know what to say to her, so he just reached up and cupped her cheek. 

She melted into his touch, taking the comfort it provided. “I tried to go back after my leg had healed up, but I couldn't do the job anymore. Claustrophobia and panic attacks don't really go hand in hand with being a paramedic.” 

“But it's getting better?” he wondered. 

“Yeah, I'm getting there. I guess being stuck in that car- just a little too familiar I guess.” 

Kelly didn't quite know what else to say, so he opted to give her a hug instead, trying to provide her with a little comfort. He knew as well as anyone what this job could be like, and he had seen how it could change people. The fact that Beth had left it behind after her injuries didn't make him think any less of her, to the contrary. It took strength to walk away from something you loved, to admit that it might have changed for you.

Beth sniffled into his shoulder, appreciating the gesture. She was about to say something more to him, but before she could, a knock on the door interrupted her, and pulled them apart. 

“It's probably just Gabby checking in,” she said as she got to her feet. “You mind? I'm gonna go put some pants on.” 

Kelly just nodded and went to open the door. He was expecting Gabby, or anyone else from 51, but he didn't recognise the woman on the other side of the door. 

“Who are you?” she asked in a demanding tone. 

Beth froze as she heard the familiar voice, instantly turning on her heel to go save Kelly. 

“Mom! What are you doing here?” 

She didn't answer, just looked Beth up and down with a disapproving look on her face while Kelly seemed as though he was a deer stuck in headlights. 

“You know why I'm here,” mom countered, “You gonna let me in?” 

‘No’ Beth thought to herself, but Kelly stepped aside to let the woman in. She pushed past them both, leaving her luggage in the hallway. Beth grabbed the suitcase and wheeled it inside before following her mom. 

“It's smaller than I imagined,” she criticised as she looked around the apartment. When her eyes landed on her daughter, her hard features softened and she reached out to give Beth a hug. “I was so worried about you.” 

Kelly came up to introduce himself. “It's nice to meet you Mrs. Andrews,” he said politely. 

“So you’re Beth's friend?” she quizzed, actually making quotation marks around the word friend. 

“Oh my god,” Beth exclaimed, hiding her face in her hands. “He's just a friend,” she pressed, pointing to the couch that was still made up. 

“You always walk around half naked when you have friends over?” 

“I just got out of bed, mom. And I've definitely not had enough coffee for this,” she added that last part under her breath. 

“Have you eaten yet, or should I make something for you real quick?” She was already heading for the fridge. 

And just like that Beth felt like she was fourteen years old again. “I don't have time for food mom, I have an appointment at the hospital.” 

“Oh good. I wanted to talk to your doctor,” she chirped. 

“No, mom. You don't have to come. Kelly is gonna give me a lift.” 

“Nonsense. I'm here now. There's no need to put him out anymore,” Mrs. Andrews said sweetly, sending Kelly a tightlipped smile. 

“No one is putting me out,” Kelly said politely. “I don't mind taking you both if that's alright?” he offered. 

“Excuse us for a moment,” Beth said, taking Kelly by the arm and dragging him away. “I am so sorry about this,” she said with wide eyes. “I really didn't think she would just show up like this.” 

“It's okay,” Kelly said with a chuckle. 

“You should just go. Save yourself,” she suggested. 

“I'm a big boy, Beth. I can take it,” he noted. “Besides, how bad can she be?” 

“You’re gonna regret those words, Lieutenant.” 

***

At least there weren't any awkward silences with Beth's mom around. There was a constant flow of words coming out of her mouth. Everything from complaining about the cold Chicago winter, to gossiping about neighbours back in New York, to bragging about Beth's brothers and their recent accomplishments. By the time Kelly pulled his car up to Beth's apartment, his ears were practically bleeding, and he was definitely excited about dropping them off. Beth on the other hand, was so embarrassed that she didn't have words. 

She gave her mom the keys to her apartment and told her she'd be right in. 

“Bet you regret not bailing when you had the chance,” Beth noted as soon as mom had disappeared through the front door. 

“Just a tad,” he chuckled. 

“I'm really sorry about all this. Is there any way I can make it up to you?” 

He just shrugged it off. “So, what are your plans now that you have a clean bill of health?” he wondered, sticking his hands in his pockets. 

“I don't know. Guess I have to ask my mom,” she joked, making Kelly laugh. Just then, Mrs Andrews stuck her head out the door and yelled something about them catching the flu if they stayed out there in the cold. Beth rolled her eyes and said she'd be right in. “You and Gabby be careful today, alright?” Kelly just bobbed his head. “I hope you find some answers.” 

“Me too.” He closed the gap between them and placed a chaste kiss to her forehead before he started making his way around the car again. 

“I'm here if you want to talk,” she called out just as he was about to get in. 

“I'll keep that in mind,” he said with a smile. And with that he got back in his car and drove away. 

Beth watched him until he turned the corner and then she took a deep breath to gather some strength before she headed back inside. 

***

The next day was unbelievably cold, to the point that Chicago had issued a state of weather emergency and urged everyone to stay inside. Kelly tried to get out of his car, but didn't get very far before he sat back in and closed the door. He looked around for anything he could use to shield him from the cold during the short walk from his car and to the firehouse. A sweatshirt lay in the back seat, so he threw it on like a scarf and ran inside. 

“Wow!” he exclaimed as he came through the door and almost ran into Tony. 

“Pretty brutal out there today,” Tony noted. 

“Yeah. I just saw a penguin. Crying,” Kelly joked. 

Because of the weather emergency, everyone at the station knew that it was going to be a busy day. To top it all off, radio communication was down and the ambulance had starting issues. Kelly was in a good mood though. They had finally learned the truth about Shay’s death, and he really felt like that brought a little closure. His already good mood improved as Beth came through the door, carrying two full grocery bags. 

Dawson greeted her first, taking one of the bags off of her hands. “What are you doing here? Didn't you catch the part about staying home?” 

“I heard something about that on the radio on my way here. About the same time as I passed a crying penguin,” she joked. 

Gabby looked from Beth to Kelly, chuckling as she shook her head. “Peas in a pod,” she muttered under her breath. 

Beth turned to Kelly with a confused look on her face. “I made that same joke not ten minutes ago,” he explained, taking the other bag from her hands. “What are you doing here?” 

“To make soup… and get away from my mom. Figured you'd all be pretty busy today, and cold, so.” 

“I'm sure everyone will appreciate it,” he noted as they made their way to the kitchen. “How long is she staying?” 

“I have no clue,” Beth said with a deep sigh. “She doesn't have a return flight and she keeps changing the subject everytime I ask. I hope soon though. She's taken over my entire apartment… even rearranged my cupboards - twice.” 

“Wow.” 

“Right!? I literally snuck out while she was in the shower.” 

“And how many times has she called since then?” 

“Just four. I call that improvement.” 

Gabby came rushing through the doors, panic written all over her face, a small baby in her arms. “Someone just left her under the Safe Haven sign,” she breathed out. 

“What?” Beth exclaimed as she hurried over. “People actually do that?” 

Tags: @campingmonkey @deansgirl215 @thevelvetseries @graniairish

[schrijverr]

'Till Death Do Us Part

Part 12 out of 13

When Alex has to bring Philip to work, he and Thomas discover that they both have something in common: they lost their love. They form an unexpected bond and connection about this that grows into something more.

A medium burn with parental feelings about Philip and flowers.

On AO3.

Ships: Jamilton

Warnings: grief, self deprication, mentions of death and unhealthy coping.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Chapter 12: Green Locust Tree Means ‘Affection from Beyond the Grave’

“Where is Thomas?” Alex asked, coming down into the kitchen to find Mary the only one there. He had thought Thomas would already by up, but he wasn’t anywhere else in the house and now also not in the kitchen.

“Ah, uhm,” Mary look away unsure.

“Did something happen?” Alex frowned.

“No, not- No, no,” Mary gestured vaguely, “He left this morning.”

“Left?” Alex repeated, voice shrill.

“Not left left, he just drove off,” Mary assured him, “He’ll be back.”

“Do you know where he went?” Alex asked, voice still a bit higher than usual.

“Yeah, but…” Mary trailed off.

“It’s personal,” Alex filled in understanding, seeing Mary nod gratefully. He checked: “Does it have something to do with Martha?”

“He talks about her to you?” Mary sounded surprised.

Alex laughed mentally, but outwardly he just smiled gently: “Yeah, I- uhm, my husband died a few years back. That’s- that’s what got us talking. Is he okay?”

“Oh, I’m sorry, I- I didn’t-”

“I know, it’s okay,” Alex assured her, “But Thomas? Did he look okay?”

Mary bit her lip, then said: “He looked pretty upset actually. I think he’s visiting Martha, she’s buried near here.”

“Is the date important?” he asked.

“Not that I know,” Mary looked helpless.

“Would you mind keeping an eye on Pip today? I’m going to check on him,” Alex told her, “Can you give me the location?”

Mary nodded and wrote it down while Alex got dressed in record speed, kissing Philip on his forehead as he told him he would be back later and to behave for his Auntie Mary and to play nice with Francie and Kitty.

Then he got into Mary’s van and drove to the cemetery. At the drive over he wondered if he was making the right choice to intrude, but Mary had told him Thomas had looked upset and he just wanted to make sure he was okay, that he wouldn’t do anything stupid, like drive. Which he had.

He stopped at the unfamiliar rows of stone, feeling out of place as he scanned them for Thomas’s figure.

In the end, he saw a familiar magenta coat in the distance near a field with a tree. Alex walked over to him softly, clearing his throat once he was nearby.

Thomas startled slightly and looked back, mouth opening and closing without sound when he saw Alex as if he wanted to explain, but couldn't.

“I would ask if you were okay, if I didn’t already know the answer,” Alex broke the silence, “Want a hug?”

Nodding wordlessly, Thomas opened his arms for Alex to stand in, wrapping the smaller man in them and resting his chin on Alex’s head as he continued to look at the tree. Alex could see the stone in front of it. It read:

Martha Wayles Skelton Jefferson

1985 - 2014

Loving wife and beautiful woman

A dearly missed soul

“All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us”

After a long silence in which Alex could only hear Thomas sniffle softly, Thomas spoke up: “She wanted that quote on her stone, she actually made it. Except the date.”

Alex hummed and rubbed Thomas’s back, giving him the time to gather his thoughts.

“She had a heavy attack on this date,” Thomas said after a while, “She died on the 6thof September, but-” his voice broke and he took a shaky breath, “but today is the last day we ever spoke.”

Mentally Alex did the math. They had been staying at Monticello for a while now, so it was already the 8thof August, which meant Thomas hadn’t spoken to Martha for nearly an entire month. He asked: “What happened?”

Thomas shrugged: “She had an attack, they put her under for surgery and she just never woke up again.”

“Must have been hard,” Alex sympathized, he couldn't even begin to think how it must be to sit next to the one you loved most, having to wait and hope for them to wake up, while they never would again.

“It was,” Thomas said, then picked up steam as he got more upset, “It fucking was. I spend so long knowing she would go and then it happened and I still didn’t see it coming and I just had to wait and sit there for it to finally happen. And everyone always acts like the date it happened hurts the most, but it doesn’t because she was just a living corpse and I had to sit there and watch her die. I didn’t even get to talk to her,…”

Alex felt him buckle against him, so he softly lowered them both to the ground and held Thomas as he cried.

“I- I did- dn’t get- get to say good- goodbye,” Thomas sobbed, “I- I did- didn’t get to- to say I lo- love you.”

As Thomas cried, Alex scratched the back of his head, while he whispered: “She knew, it sucks you didn’t get to tell her, but she knew.”

“What?” Thomas rasped, eyes red and puffy.

“She knew you loved her, she knew,” Alex repeated, “I know how fucking much it sucks that you didn’t get to tell her again, but she knew it.”

Thomas looked at him for a moment, then back to the stone, then up to the tree, before looking back to Alex. Alex could see him swallow, then blink away a few tears, before scowling. Thomas broke eye contact and huffed: “How do you know that?”

Alex took a deep breath and reminded himself that Thomas was hurting and didn’t really think about those words, so instead he softly said: “Because I have to tell myself that too.”

He hadn’t gotten to say anything to John either. Sure, he didn’t have to watch John waste away and he didn’t know if he could have, but he had to live with the fact that he had brought John to the airport and waved with Pip’s little hand as John walked off on a tour he would never come back form.

“God, I’m- I’m sorry, ‘Lex, I wasn’t- I wasn’t thinking,” Thomas mumbled.

“I know, it’s okay, you don’t have to say sorry,” and Alex meant it, he had said many things in times like these that he didn’t mean because his head wasn’t on straight, he got it.

“Still fucking dick move,” Thomas chuckled out humorlessly.

“Maybe,” Alex shrugged, “But I did mean it. And she knew. If I know you, then I know you were there the entire time. She knew. It might be a small comfort and nothing substantial, but that one moment wasn’t defining. She knew.”

Thomas quieted and stared at the headstone. With a distant voice he repeated: “She knew.”

They sat side by side in front of the grave under the shadow of the tree in silence. Alex just let Thomas take his time, not interfering but being a calming presence for him to lean on if he needed it.

“Being here again with you and having this, it just- it made me realize how much I wanted to say to her and how unfair it was that I never got to,” Thomas said after a while. He hadn’t broken down like this in a long while over her death date.

Alex nodded, then suggested: “You can tell her now.”

“She won’t hear,” Thomas told him bitterly, “There’s nothing after death.”

“And John doesn’t hear me either whenever I go to his grave, nor Pip,” Alex replied, “He might’ve believed in Heaven, but I don’t, just like Martha believed she’s up in the sky. Talk to her, just in case she’s right.”

Thomas hesitated, so Alex offered: “I can give you some privacy if you want.”

“No,” Thomas grabbed his hand, then softly repeated it: “No, no it’s okay. Stay.”

“Alright,” Alex squeezed Thomas’s hand like the other had done so many times for him, hoping to give him a bit of comfort.

“Hi, Martha,” Thomas said awkwardly after clearing his throat, “I’m sorry for saying that, you might hear me. I- uhm, I wanted to tell you that I love you. I always want to tell you that, but back then I wanted to tell you it even more, I didn’t want my last words to you to be ‘hold on,’ because I know you were trying and-”

He took a shuddery breath, then went on: “And I know it was a selfish request and I’m sorry for that. Instead I wanted to say thank you for being there for as long as you have, for brightening my days even though you were the one fading. So, thank you and I love you.”

Alex laid his head on Thomas’s shoulder and Thomas leaned back to him and whispered: “I love you too, Alex. Thanks for looking for me.”

“Of course,” Alex simply replied, “I love you too.”

After a beat Thomas said: “It’s a green locust tree. Martha said it reminded her of ferns and she thought it was funny that it looked like ground covering plants had just randomly turned into trees.”

“The leaves do look like ferns,” Alex agreed after he had studied them for a moment.

“It was smaller when I was here last” Thomas mused, “Almost like she’s still growing. Maybe her spirit is in it, she always did like the idea of joining nature. Even if the stars spoke to her more.”

Alex hummed in agreement.

“Fuck I haven’t been here in forever,” Thomas sighed.

“It’s not a requirement to come,” Alex told him, “Sometimes life happens.”

“I avoided it, even ran to fucking France for a few years, Alex, that’s pretty shitty to do,” Thomas replied, “I’m just being shitty.”

“You’re not shitty,” Alex said, Thomas shot him a look and Alex correct, “Or everyone does something shitty when these things happen.”

“Somehow I find it hard to picture you ignoring John’s grave.”

“Because I didn’t-”

“See.”

“Because instead I threw myself into work and was there so much it was fucking unhealthy, Thomas. Those first few weeks, Eliza cared more for Philip than I did. Washington threw me out the office every day for a month until I stopped staying so late,” Alex told Thomas, “Maybe running to France was a healthy thing to do.”

Thomas was silent as he thought about that.

“Maybe,” he said, then sighed, “Yeah, maybe, but I still feel shit about it and I hate that I didn’t talk to my Ma because of it and I hate how I rarely came home just because I didn’t want to face this.”

“Luckily you can start now,” Alex nudged him slightly and didn’t add: like I did by being a decent parent for Pip.

“You’re right,” Thomas got up and held his hand out to Alex to hoist him up.

Alex let him, but quirked a brow at the sudden change in attitude. Thomas shrugged: “What better time than now? I think Ma mentioned hiking today.”

“Lead the way,” Alex smiled as they left the cemetery, not seeing how the tree lit up with sunlight and the wind made the branches wave.

When they got back to Monticello, Philip asked: “Where did you go Da?”

“I just went to say hi to your Auntie Martha like you and Papa go say hi to your Daddy from time to time,” Thomas explained.

“Did you tell her about everything that happened?” Philip asked.

“Sort of,” Thomas answered, “Where is your Mawmaw? I think we were going hiking today, wanna come too?”

“Yes!” Philip cheered, before pointing towards the kitchen while he raced off in a different direction to Kitty and Francie, who were terrorizing Sir Poof.

They went on a hike, with Randy telling the twins and Pip all sorts of things aboutthe plants they encountered on the trail while Mary and Jane talked about the market they’d gone to together yesterday and Alex and Thomas kept on the background, holding hands.

While they walked, they laughed and Alex was happy to see Thomas’s crinkles appear once Philip came to beg for a piggy back ride, which he got. Since Thomas couldn't say no to him ever.

After that Kitty and Francie wanted one too, so Alex and Randy were roped into that, which turned into a small race.

In short, they enjoyed their days in Monticello for the two weeks they were still there. Even when Mary had to go and take the twins back, because she wanted to spend time with her husband and Randy went back to college to move into his dormearly.

Alex learned to cook a few more recipes from Jane, in the end calling her Ma like Thomas did, just because it felt right.

Thomas swam with Philip and drank tea with Jane every night, before he and Alex would sit on the porch and watch the stars.

It felt like movie and all were upset when they had to leave.

Jane hugged Thomas tightly and told him to come visit more often as she pinched his cheek, before also telling him to be good to Alex.

“I will, Ma,” Thomas swore to do both.

She then turned to Philip and handed him a box with cookies, before she said: “You take care of both your dads for me okay? Be good for them”

“Yes, Mawmaw Jane,” Philip chirped.

“And I’ll put your drawing on the wall, make sure to come see,” she added. The drawing in question was the one Philip had made of Monticello with the dragon. He had given it to Jane and she had loved it.

“I will,” Philip said.

Thomas lead Philip to the car to buckle him in, while Alex shook Jane’s hand and said: “Thank you for letting us stay here, Ma. It was amazing.”

“Of course, dearie,” she told him, taking his hand to pull him into a hug, “You and Philip always have a home here.”

“Thank you,” Alex’s voice broke slightly and he tried not to let it get to him.

As Jane let go, she said: “Look out for Thomas will you, he can get on his own nerves.”

“You know I will,” Alex assured her.

“Good,” Jane nodded, “Have a safe trip.”

“Bye.”

And with that Alex got into the car as well, all of them waving to the lone figure on the porch as they drove back home for the new school year.

Since they had spend such a big chunk of time together at Monticello that summer, they had decided that the first week back they would stay at their own homes. This, however, came to a head on the 28thof August.

He and Philip were sitting at the dinner table with Hoppin’ Johns in front of them holding hands as Alex spoke: “Today John was taken from us and put into your care, Lord. We ask you to take care of him while we remember him. Amen.”

“Amen,” Pip said, before he started eating.

Alex took a moment to look at him and his heart softened as Philip’s little curls bounced on his head while he ate. He had started first grade this year and Alex was so proud of him and how much he was already growing.

Above the mantle hung a picture of John and Alex really wanted someone to share with how much Philip had grown.

And all of a sudden he felt very, veryalone.

He ate his food and set up everything for the next day, before he tucked Philip in while the loneliness hung over him like a fog. With Philip in bed he picked up his phone.

“Hi, darlin’,” Thomas greeted him, “How are you?”

“Good, good,” Alex said absentmindedly.

“Alex?” Thomas sounded a bit concerned.

“Well, actually,” Alex carefully began, now that he was calling, he suddenly realized why and how that might impact everything, “Actually, I called you, because I was feeling lonely.”

“Yeah?” Thomas asked.

“Yeah, house hasn’t been the same without you,” Alex shrugged, “Guess I just got used to you being around.”

“I get that feeling,” Thomas told him.

“You do?” Alex tried to hide his surprise, but he was pretty sure he failed.

“Yup,” Thomas said, then he carefully added, “Your house has a more homey feel, with all the pictures on the walls.”

Alex picked up on the subtle testing of the water and replied: “Well, there is plenty of room on the walls left.”

“Are you…?” Thomas didn’t finish the sentence, cutting himself off.

“Am I what?” Alex wasn’t falling for it and suggesting it first.

“Are you implying what I think you’re implying?” Thomas said.

“That depends on what you think I’m implying, but probably,” Alex answered, holding his breath anxiously.

“Well, I thought you were implying that maybe we could talk about moving in together?” Thomas sounded unsure, ready to take his words back.

“Then you are absolutely correct in your observation,” Alex told him.

Thomas let out a relieved breath, before saying: “That’s a big decision.”

“Just putting the thought out there,” Alex answered, “I still need to run it by Pip, but I would be up for it.”

“Well, that certainly is an idea I’m willing to consider,” Thomas said, “But this is more a conversation to have face to face, don’t you think?”

“Yeah, probably,” Alex agreed, “Want to come over tomorrow?”

“Sure,” he could hear the smile in Thomas’s voice.

Alex wanted to just sit and listen to Thomas right now and not feel so alone. He noticed how much better he’d felt the momenthe’d heard Thomas’s voice. So, he settled on the couch, curling up against the side as he asked: “Tell me about your day?”

And Thomas did, he just talked about nothing for the most part. He told Alex about the dog he’d seen on the way home, the book he was reading, what he and James had talked about last time they’d called, something stupid Lafayette had send him.

As Thomas talked, Alex let himself relax, just softly humming at the right places. The sounds of home filling up the space and making his heart less empty.

The next day Thomas was the one, who went home early to pick up Philip from school. When Philip walked out and saw him, he yelled: “Da! Da! What are you doing here? Papa said you wouldn’t be home until the weekend.”

“Well, I wanted to surprise my favorite little kiddo,” Thomas ruffled his hair.

“‘M not little,” Philip pouted, fixing his hair, “I’m already in first grade.”

“I know, Pip, I know,” Thomas grinned, “Since you’re such a big boy, I’m sure you can drive us home.”

Philip crossed his arms: “That’s mean, Da.”

“Sorry, kiddo,” Thomas told him, “Just had to tease. Come get in and tell me about your week. How is school going? You adjusting okay?”

Doing as he was told, Philip said: “We’ve been learning to write and I’m doing very well and I got a star next to my name today.”

“Really?” Thomas asked.

“Yup,” Philip answered, “And were learning about addition and that’s kind of hard, but Theo gets it. She’s good with numbers and she explained it to me.”

“Oh wow,” Thomas listened to Philip talk as he drove home, thinking to himself that he definitely wouldn’t mind hearing Pip talk about school everyday.

That evening during dinner Alex brought it up, he and Thomas had briefly talked about it during lunch, so it didn’t come as a surprise. He said: “Hey, Pip. Can I ask you about something and get a serious answer from you?”

Philip stopped eating and nodded: “Did something bad happen?”

“No, buddy,” Alex assured him, “It’s just that me and your Da wanted to have your thoughts about Da moving in here, so that it’s not two houses anymore. Since you live here as well, we wanted your opinion too.”

“You’re moving in!” Philip exclaimed, eyes bright.

“We’re thinking about it, nothing certain yet, but I take that as a yes from you,” Thomas chuckled.

“It’ll be so much fun if you move in, we can read stories every night and you and Papa can smile all the time,” Philip rambled excitedly.

Thomas and Alex met each other’s eyes and it was almost decided there and then.

They did sit down and talk about it more in depth after, but soon after it was decided. When the decision was made, it quickly turned into a whole circus.

It began with Eliza and Maria finding out from Pip after they’d picked him up from school the day after Alex and Thomas had told him. So when Alex got Philip from them, Eliza put her hands on her hip and asked: “When we’re you going to inform us that Thomas is moving in with you?”

“I was hoping once Thomas was putting his house on sale,” Alex told her, “But I suppose that’s no longer the case, because a little rascal talked?”

“You bet you, now come on, tell me more,” Eliza said, pulling him into the house.

“It’s just what it says on the tin, Thomas is moving in with me,” Alex said, “We both wanted it, so why not. We just didn’t want to make a big deal out of it.”

Eliza smirked: “It’s too late for that.”

“Oh no, what now?” Alex asked, fearing for his life – metaphorically, well, partially metaphorically.

“You really think that if me and Maria know and Pip is excited about that Angie and Laf won’t find out,” Eliza told him, “If you want them to not attack you, they should hear it from you.”

“Fuck,” Alex said.

“Exactly,” Eliza grinned, before she called Philip over and waved them off, “Good luck.”

He dialed Laf frist, right after dinner: “Hi, Laf.”

“Bonjour, Bonjour, Alexandre,” Lafayette greeted him cheerily over the phone, “What can I do for you?”

“Depends on where you are?” Alex asked.

“Do you need someone to surveille Philipe?” he asked, “Because then you need to find someone else, I’m afraid. I am eating lunch at Le Cinqin a bit.”

“No, you not being here is perfect,” Alex told him.

“Now I am offended.” Lafayette said.

“It’s nothing bad,” Alex assured him, “Just that Thomas and I have decided to move in together and I love and appreciate you, but I don’t want you to freak out.”

“You’re moving together!” Lafayette screamed into the phone.

Alex held the phone away from his face, already anticipating that. He carefully held it back and answered: “Yeah, it’s not happening right now, but we’re starting to plan it. You weren’t going to know yet, but Pip told ‘Liza, so felt only fair.”

“Alexandre, you will have to tell me more,” Lafayette said, “Will you move into one of your houses? Is there going to be a housewarming party? What’s happening?”

“Thomas will move in with me and Pip, probably not, we’re moving in together,” Alex went down the list.

“I am so excitéfor you,” Laf beamed through the phone, Alex could practically hear it, “Tell me if you need help moving when the time comes.”

“I will, Laf, I will,” after that he hung up, not sure if he was going to keep that promise.

He then called Angelica: “Hi Angie?”

“Alex, is there a reason you’re calling me this late in the evening?” she greeted him.

“Well, I’ve been told you liked to be kept up to date, since apparently you’re living vicariously through my relationship, but if you don’t wanna hear I can hang up,” he told her.

“No, no, stay. Tell me,” Angelica stopped him.

“Me and Thomas are – at some point in the nearby future – moving in together,” he said.

“Really!”

“Yeah.”

“I’m so happy for you both,” Angelica told him, “I would offer to help move, but I’m not carrying furniture, make Herc or Laf do that.”

“If Herc offers to help, I’m asking him,” Alex assured her, “I don’t trust Laf with throw pillows. I love him, but he’s clumsy.”

“Tell me about it,” Angelica rolled her eyes fondly, “Remember that time at the press conference, the whole world saw him eat dirt.”

“I don’t think he ever recovered from that.”

They both chuckled at the memory of a young Lafayette falling on the podium at his first live press conference.

“So, anyway, that’s why I called,” Alex said, “Thought you would like to hear it from me, not from Pip or something.”

“Who did he tell,” the amusement was heavy in her voice.

“Betsy and Maria,” Alex answered.

“Oohh, lucky, that could have been worse,” she replied.

“Yeah, it could have been you,” Alex teased.

“Glad you know your place in my life,” she grinned.

“Har har,” Alex said, “But how have you been, haven’t heard from you in forever.”

“Been good, been good,” she replied.

They talked a bit more before hanging up. And with Laf and Angie knowing, it wasn’t long before more text started to pour in as news spread through his friends. Most of them reminding them to call them if they needed help with the moving.

Together they shook their heads and laughed at their friends, but warmth spread through them as well when they saw how quickly everyone sprang to their aid.

Thomas called his Ma as well, who told them she’d start knitting a blanket for on the couch and which colors it should be.

Green and purple, was their final choice.

He didn’t tell Alex, but his Ma had done the same when he and Martha bought their first house together. It had been purple and orange. It was disgusting looking and both had loved it until it had perished.

As time passed Thomas spend more and more time at Alex’s house while his own turned into a kingdom of boxes as he sorted through his stuff, seeing what had to come with him, what he might store for later and what he didn’t need anymore and had just been collecting dust. While Alex did the same to make space for Thomas’s stuff.

They had also decided to make a few decorating choices together, which mostly consisted of painting a few walls. That had been an interesting weekend for sure.

Philip had also been allowed to paint his walls a different color. They were still yellow from when John and Alex had decorated way back when, but now Philip wanted them light green. He would also be painting new stuff on it, claiming that ‘I can draw much better now Papa, you’ll see. I’m drawing dragons and they’re going to be much, much better.’

When the big moving day came, they called upon all their friends, who had texted them. It would also function as their house warming party, which basically meant that at the end they would buy everyone pizza.

Herc and Thomas had been dismantling furniture and carrying it all day, while James and Maria drove back and forth over the small distance between the two houses, while Philip and Peggy helped with getting boxes into Alex’s house.

Alex was delegating inside the house, both carrying and unpacking since he knew which boxes where supposed to go where. While Eliza unboxed the more basic stuff that already had a spot in the home.

Lafayette was on charity shop duty, bringing everything that was no longer useful to the charity shop. Though, they send Angelica with him to supervise just in case.

That evening most of the boxes where unpacked and Thomas’s house was empty. They were all sitting around with pizza and beer or soda.

“No one is allowed to move anytime soon,” Herc said rolling his shoulder, “If any of you do, I’m not helping.”

“Boo, boo,” Peggy jeered and Angelica joined immediately.

“Oh shove off, you didn’t carry heavy stuff all day,” Herc complained.

“Faible,” Lafayette yelled.

“I don’t know what that means, so I’m gonna take that as support,” Herc huffed.

“He called you weak, Herc.”

“Alexandre, you betray me like this?” Laf clutched his heart as if wounded and fell backwards, nearly missing Herc’s shove.

“Y’all are rude, I’m never helping you again,” Herc bit his pizza moodily, though everyone knew it was a joke, Herc would always be ready to help any of them.

Still, that didn’t stop Eliza from innocently asking: “Even me, Herc?”

“No, not you, never you, Eliza. You’re sweet and much better than anyone else here,” Herc assured her.

Immediately there was an uproar as everyone accused him of playing favorites, which Herc deflected by saying: “It’s not playing favorites, if you’re all mean to me.”

“Exactly,” Eliza said, before her grin turned shit eating, “Herc, wanna help me move tomorrow?”

Laughter roared through the group and Herc yelled: “Et tu, ‘Liza?”

She just blew him a kiss.

When everyone left that evening, Alex got out a hammer and nail and walked up to the picture wall in the hallway. Before he could hammer, Thomas asked: “What are you doing?”

“Adding an important finishing touch,” Alex replied mysteriously.

He put a nail in the wall, then got out a picture frame. He shuffled the stuff on the wall around a bit before he hung up the frame.

“Hey, that’s me and Da,” Philip pointed out.

Thomas smiled when he recognized the picture from their second date at the park. He and Philip were busy with the kite, both laughing. He commented: “I didn’t know you took that.”

“At first I thought it might be a it much, then I thought it would be a nice surprise,” Alex explained, “Initially it was going to be a birthday present, but I thought this moment more fitting wouldn’t you agree?”

“It’s perfect, ‘Lex,” Thomas kissed his cheek.

“Ieww,” Philip giggled.

“I see it’s bed time for you, buddy,” Alex grinned.

“Nooo,” Philip shrieked as he quickly ran away, laughter floating down the hall as Alex set off behind him. Thomas watched the two go, then looked back to the picture as he smiled.

The next day was a Sunday and they used that to unpack the rest of their stuff as well as putting the furniture back together, which was also a real test of their relationship.

“Alex, I dismantled this table, okay. I know where this is supposed to go,” Thomas huffed pointing at the table leg.

“But it looks weird like that,” Alex frowned.

“Well, maybe it’s a weird table.”

“Why would we want to keep a weird table?”

“Papa, Da? I think these belong to the chair, not the table,” Philip tiny voice spoke up. He had spotted a few dismantled chairs near the table, with more legs that looked like the ones they were trying to put on the table and made the conclusion that the legs must not be from the table, but the chairs instead.

Both looked at the table, then to the chairs, then back to the table, before meeting each other’s eyes and bursting out in laughter.

Alex ruffled Philip’s hair and said: “I think you’re right, buddy.”

Thomas laughed: “Oh my God, we’re both stupid.”

“According to my teacher, stupid is a bad word,” Philip said.

“Yeah?” Alex asked.

“Hm-mh,” Philip nodded, “Because no one is stupid and that kind of says that a person who just didn’t know something, because no one told them is not as good as other people. You should say that you weren’t informed properly.”

“You’re a wise little man, Pip,” Thomas said, “I stand corrected, Alex, we were misinformed about this not weird and perfectly good table.”

“Dork,” Alex said.

“What’s misinformed?”

“It means that you got the wrong information,” Alex explained.

“So what I said.”

“Exactly, kiddo,” Thomas agreed, “So, how about you help me with the table while Papa goes to put the frames on the wall, because you have a sharper eye for this than him.”

“Excuse me, you grabbed the wrong legs,” Alex said, even if he did start to move away.

“Yeah, and I’ve put a nail into the wall exactly once and that was a disaster,” Thomas told him, “If you appreciate your plaster, I would suggest you do it.”

“You can’t put a nail in the wall?” Alex laughed.

“Don’t laugh at me,” Thomas moped.

“I’m not laughing, just wondering how you got stuff on your wall in your old house.”

“I called James, okay. Martha did it before that.”

“My Auntie Martha?”

“Yeah, Pip, your Auntie Martha,” Thomas confirmed.

“She’s coming to hang with Daddy right?”

“Jup, putting the nails in now,” Alex said, still chuckling slightly as he gathered the stuff.

Above the mantle, they were putting four pictures. Two of them portraits of both Martha and John and two wedding pictures. The portraits were bigger and the wedding pictures would hang underneath, neither acknowledging the fact that a third picture couldfit between them.

John’s was him standing in the park under a tree with baby Philip in his arms. He was wearing his hair in a pony tail and he just looked back, smiling at Alex behind the camera. Martha was sitting on the swing in Monticello, her white summer dress flowing in the wind, perfectly still along with her frozen laughter.

They watched over the house, both adding warmth and laughter to their main family space.

~~~~~~~~~~

A/N:

I am once again telling you to not use my fic as a guide to deal with grief, just in case you have forgotten, this is not really the medium to get information from.

Also Laf was pretty clumsy, he actually got laughed off the French court for his dancing, so my clumsy man.

Me at the pictures: “Is this foreshadowing? Did I do it? Oehlalala (pls I’m really proud of all the little stuff I managed to bring back in later chapter, pls notice my hard work)

[iamtrebleclefstories]

I Was Made For Loving You - Part 3

Soulmate AU series of unrelated one-shots where Jo and Alex discover that they are made for each other.

where you have a clock counting down the minutes

Please enjoy this insanely long monstrosity of a fic :)

Part 3 - I Was Made for Loving You 

The day his clock showed up, he was excited. At the age of thirteen, he’d been a little older than most. For a while, he didn’t think he had a soulmate. Most other kids got their clocks at twelve years old. Yet on his twelfth birthday, when he woke up and saw his empty wrist he was disappointed to see that his hadn’t. No, instead his clock showed up on a random Tuesday morning, about four months after his thirteenth birthday. His excitement was short-lived though. Because according to his clock, he wouldn’t meet his soulmate for at least two decades.

                                                    20:05:17:6:49

 Twenty years, five months, seventeen days, six hours, and forty-nine minutes away to be exact. He’d be thirty-three by the time he met the woman he was supposed to spend the rest of his life with. This didn’t sit right with Alex. He’d thought for sure the universe would favor him considering he’d had the crappiest childhood. The least the universe could do was grant him a soulmate sooner than twenty years from now. 

 It was frustrating when he got to college and it felt like everyone he knew was meeting their soulmate. It was even more frustrating when he got to medical school and the majority of his friends were in nice, loving, soul-bonded relationships while he was out partying and sleeping around. He’d never admit it, but as fun as sleeping around was, all Alex had ever wanted was the sureness and clarity of a soulmate bond. His whole life, he wondered what it was like to be loved for exactly who he was. He wondered what it was like to have someone stay. He wondered what it was like to have someone sane. The partying and the girls just so happened to serve as a useful distraction for the fact that he was years away from meeting the one person who just might stick around. 

 When he started working at Seattle Grace, he didn’t do much to change who he was. If anything, he was worse than before. With only seven years, three months, five days, ten hours, and thirty-six minutes left to meet his soulmate, Alex was growing even more restless. He couldn’t handle the idea of walking around the hospital as all of his friends met their soulmates before he did. Meredith had already met her’s, Izzie’s clock said that she was three months away, Cristina’s clock said one year left, and George’s said two years. 

 There wasn’t much time left for them to wait. The sad and funny thing was that some of his friends found themselves in relationships with someone other than their soulmate. Meredith was trying to get over McDreamy, Cristina was doing it with Burke, George was in love with Meredith, and Izzie had tried going out with him despite the fact that she was supposed to meet her guy very soon. It kind of sucked too, because he could see himself liking her enough to actually try something more than a one night stand. 

 Knowing that Izzie would be meeting her soulmate very soon didn’t make it much easier when she finally did. The guy came in the form of a bedridden cardiac patient who was on the brink of death. If Alex thought the universe was screwed up for making him wait so long to meet his soulmate, it was even more screwed up for giving Izzie a soulmate that might not live past his next surgery. That was all kinds of messed up and shitty that he didn’t even want to go into. As horrible as it sounded though, he hoped that maybe Izzie’s soulmate would kick the bucket and die. Then maybe he’d have a chance at something more than just meaningless. 

 And they did get the chance at it. Denny died and Izzie was a wreck. She ended up making some questionable decisions, got George to cheat on his wife—but not his soulmate—with her, and nearly got herself fired multiple times over. Alex on the other hand, had lived through a hookup with Addison Montgomery, a strange—regrettable—relationship with a patient by the name of Rebecca Pope, and had even hooked up with Meredith’s sister Lexie a couple times. So when they finally got together, Alex thought that this could be it. Maybe it could be enough. Maybe Izzie could be enough for him, and he could be enough for her. 

 Things didn’t go as planned, though. Izzie got cancer and started hallucinating Denny. So they got married and tried to make the best out of a bad situation, then George died on the very day he was supposed to meet his soulmate—saving her life apparently. He doesn’t know if it was the cancer or the soul bond that attached her to Denny that caused it or even her friendship with O’Malley, but one morning he woke up and she didn’t. Alex woke up and turned around to shake Izzie awake, but she wouldn’t wake up. Her body was cold. She’d died sometime in the middle of the night and he never noticed.

 That stuck with him for a long time. He felt like he should’ve been able to save her. He was a doctor for crying out loud. A doctor whose wife died in her sleep as he laid right beside her. He was a widower now and it was hell. His heart ached and he became a bigger asshole than before. And hence started the string of endless women all over again. He tried to date Lexie Grey, and it worked for a little while. But then the shooting happened and Lexie went crazy and Alex was trying to understand how he survived and so many others didn’t. He added that to his laundry list of failed attempts at love. 

 Then there was Lucy—the one who stole his job. After that he gave up on trying to have a real relationship. He realized it was pointless to try making a connection with someone that wasn’t soulmate. All it brought was hurt and pain that he didn’t have the patience for. He slept around again, waiting for the moment when he’d finally meet his soulmate and maybe, just maybe, he search would be over.

 The week before he was supposed to meet his soulmate, he decided to take advantage of the little bit of time he had left and slept with a lot of the new interns. Sure, he felt a little bad every time he looked down at his wrist, but he was trying to brace himself for the worst case scenario. The worst case scenario being that his soulmate hated him or that she was a horrible person and they didn’t work out. If his worst fears came true he wanted to at least have something to soften the blow. It may sound depressing, but that’s how it worked. And Alex had been through enough in his life to know that life was rarely ever fair or full of hope. 

 *****

 She was sixteen when her clock finally showed up on her wrist. For the longest time, she thought that maybe there just wasn’t someone out there for her. Most kids got their clocks at twelve years old. They’d wake up the morning of their twelfth birthday to find a clock there counting down the years, months, days, hours, and minutes until one met their soulmate. She tried to tell herself not to be discouraged. After all, she’d been left at a fire station as an infant. Who knows when her real birthday was? So, for about two weeks she held onto the tiniest bit of hope that one day she’d wake up and it would be there. 

 When the clock didn’t come in, it only reinforced everything she’d ever believe about herself. That she was unlovable. She was broken. She was unwanted. She was a waste of space. Those feelings intensified when her peers realized that her clock was missing. They made up mean jokes and rumors about soulmate-less Brooke. It was so bad that the family she’d been staying with at the time sent her away. They didn’t want a “defective” child in their home. 

 For about four years, she wore long sleeves. She didn’t want anyone to see her wrist. She didn’t want to see her own wrist and be reminded of the fact that she had no one in this world. That’s why it was such a surprise when her clock showed up on her wrist. 

 She remembered the day vividly. It was four in the morning and she’d been attempting to get some sleep while she heard the junkies talking outside her car. She’d just burrowed a little further into her blankets in an effort to cover herself so that no one would realize she was living there when she felt it. There was a dull ache in her wrist and then the sound of a clock chiming. After the sounding stopped, she was scared to look down. She was scared to look and realize that it had all been a figment of her imagination. 

 It wasn’t though. It was definitely there. The clock displayed the numbers brightly on her wrist for all to see. The countdown to meeting her soulmate was there. It was real. She had someone. For the first time in her life she thought that maybe she’d have someone. But when she realized the number of years before she’d meet him, she grew discouraged. Ten years was a long time. A very long time.

                                                        10:02:30:8:57

 Of course she’d have to wait a decade to meet her soulmate. As if her life wasn’t already difficult, as if she didn’t need for someone to love her right now. Maybe that’s why she got caught up with Paul in the first place. She just wanted so badly for someone to love her that she ended up in an abusive marriage for about two years before she did something about it.

 Of all the decisions she’d made in her life, getting with Paul was the worst one. He was harsh and hateful and deceptively charming. He’d told her exactly what she wanted to hear and she believed him. She ate up every false promise and calculated compliment. Her friends had not been happy with her, but she didn’t care. They told her to wait, to hold out for her soulmate, but Brooke wasn’t sure she believed in them anymore. 

 Paul didn’t have a soulmate. He was one of the very few people in the world that didn’t have a clock at all. He’d convinced her that it was all a fantasy. A childish daydream that would soon fade away like everything else in the world. For the most part, she believed him. 

 A part of her tried to hold on to the hope that maybe there was someone better for her out there than Paul. It all changed when she became a mother, though. The only thing that was supposed to be stronger than a soul bond was the bond between parents and their children. She could not possibly understand how or why her mother had abandoned her like she did. She couldn’t comprehend how you’d let go because the moment she held her child in her arms, she knew that she’d never be able to give this up. 

 The road to motherhood wasn’t easy, though. It was full of pain and suffering and complications she’d never anticipated. Originally, she wasn’t going to keep the baby. She had decided that after being beaten so bad that she had landed in the hospital. There was no way she could raise a child in the environment she was living in. For weeks, she walked around fearful of the decision that was looming over her. One day, while she was in the car with Paul they got into a horrible accident. She’d made it out mostly okay. Paul on the other hand sustained a severe injuries and was declared dead on arrival. 

 The death of her husband was not sad for her. If anything, it was liberating. She was a pregnant senior in college and suddenly inherited all of his money and his property. Of course, she was alone again, but for the first time in her life loneliness didn’t seem as daunting. As soon as she graduated with her degree in biology, she sold the house, their rings, and all of Paul’s belongings and hauled ass out of New Jersey. 

 She was about seven months pregnant when she finally moved into her brand new apartment in Boston. For a while after moving, she grappled with her identity. She didn’t want anything tying her to the life she’d left behind. She didn’t want her child to bear the legacy of hurt and pain that she’d left. Brooke Stadler didn’t feel like her anymore. That name was attached to the despair that she vowed to leave behind for the sake of the life she was about to bring into the world. 

 It was during one quest for baby names when she stumbled upon one that resonated with her. Josephine, God will increase. Jo, for short. Yes, that was it. No more standing back and letting people take advantage of her. She would increase. She would grow so tall that she would make a fool out of anyone who ever said she would never be enough. 

 So, she became Josephine. A last name would be a little more difficult. Jo knew that she didn’t want to keep the last name Stadler. She briefly considered Schmidt—after her high school teacher whom she had kept in contact with, but decided against that. She settled on Wilson. It was the name of the chief of the fire station where she’d been left as a child. That was it. That was her name. Josephine Brooke Wilson. 

 Her name change was approved about a week before she gave birth to her son on July 16, 2007. Yes, she had a boy. A little boy with the sweetest dimples and the craziest head full of hair. He had her eyes and her nose and her ears. Jo fell in love with him instantly. At twenty-two years old she became a mother to the most beautiful baby boy she’d ever laid eyes on. 

 She named him Liam Michael Wilson. Liam was a good baby, and she was grateful for that. It was difficult raising a child on her own while simultaneously trying to do well in med school. Harvard Medical School, to be specific. In the mornings she’d drop Liam off at daycare and pick him up after her classes were over. Her life consisted of going to school, being a mom, and working part time at the daycare Liam attended. She didn’t go out or party. She didn’t sleep around or start anything serious. There was no time and she definitely did not have the motivation to try harder.  

 On the day of her medical school graduation, she walked across the stage hand in hand with her almost four year old son. She smiled wide and almost cried after her son told her how proud he was of her.  She’d done it. She was finally a doctor. 

 And so began the next chapter of their lives. Jo had matched with Seattle Grace Mercy West’s surgical residency program. She was excited and nervous at the thought of moving across the country with her son. Her whole life, she’d lived on the east coast. It was time to leave this place and move on to the next thing. 

 *****

 “Today’s the day,” Jackson walked into the attendings lounge and clapped Alex on the back. 

 “What’s today?” Webber asked as he poured himself some coffee. 

 “Today’s the day Evil Spawn gets to meet his soulmate,” Cristina supplied. 

 April gasped, “Oh my goodness! Finally.”

 “Yeah it only took him thirty-three years,” Meredith snickered as she put her stuff into her locker. 

 "Awe, Karev is becoming a man today," Mark teased and slapped Alex on the shoulder.

 “Maybe this means he’ll stop being an ass that sleeps with all the interns,” Callie called out from her spot on the couch. 

 “Oh shush. Might I remind you that you slept with me once. So, you're no better,” Alex sent Callie a pointed look.

 “And now I no longer sleep with men,” Callie lifted her hands in mock surprise.

 The room full of doctors laughed at Callie's comment. Alex on the other hand rolled his eyes, "Whatever. You guys are way too invested in this soulmate thing."

 "Because we all already found ours. We want you to be happy. You of all people deserves something happy," Meredith smiled warmly at Alex. "So, stop complaining and let us be happy and excited for you."

 Alex knew that his friends just wanted what was best for him. They'd been by his side through a lot of really crappy things. When his wife died, Meredith opened up her home again for him to stay. Cristina hugged him—which was a miracle in and of itself. Kepner and Avery, who he wasn't even close to made it very clear that they would be there for him if he needed it. So many more of his friends and colleagues did the same.

 “How much time do you have left on your clock?” Bailey asked, trying to get as many details from Alex as possible.

 Alex looked down at his clock and read the numbers. It was strange to see mostly zeros. For years, he’d seen the clock full of numbers counting down very slowly. Today though, it seems as if the time had flown by.

                                                   00:00:00:04:37

 “Four hours and thirty-seven minutes,” Alex replied. “Which means that you all will be too busy doing your jobs to pay attention to me when I meet her. If this is even real and I meet her.”

   Meanwhile, Jo was in the locker room with her fellow interns getting ready for the day. She had just taken off her shirt and was about to put her scrub top on when she heard Stephanie gasp and grab her arm, “Oh my God.

Today is the day. Guys, Jo meets her soulmate today!”

 “Really?” Leah jumped up and squealed. “No why didn’t you say anything? We would’ve made a big deal about it.”

 “That’s exactly why I didn’t,” Jo removed her hand from Stephanie’s grasp and continued to get dressed for the day. “It’s not that big of a deal. Calm down.”

 “Not that big of a deal?” Stephanie looked at her as if she had three heads. “Jo. This is a huge deal. This is it. This is the most important day of your life. Why aren’t you more excited about this?”

 “Look, I’ve been burned one to many times in my life. It’s all a scam. It doesn’t mean anything,” Jo shook her head. “And it’s not the most important day of my life. The most important day of my life was the day I gave birth to my son. That’s the most important bond. It’s more important and stronger than a soul bond. So, unless my soulmate magically bonds with my son, then it’s meaningless.”

 Shane looked at Jo sadly, “There’s nothing wrong with trying find your own version of happiness. You’re allowed to let yourself be loved.”

 “Yeah,” Heather agreed. “You of all people deserves to meet their person.”

 “How much time is left on your clock?” Leah asked.

 Sighing Jo looked down and read it out loud, “Four hours and thirty-seven minutes.”

                                                  00:00:00:04:37

 “I wonder who it is,” Heather tilted her head to the side. “You’d have to meet him here in the hospital. Maybe it’s another doctor or a nurse. Ooh! Maybe even a patient! I’ve heard a couple stories of a few doctors that used to work here before us that met their soulmates while they were patients in the hospital.”

 “Gosh, I hope not,” Jo’s eyes widened. “I have a kid. I don’t have time to take care of a sick soulmate.”

 “I highly doubt it’s going to be a patient,” Stephanie assured. “It’s probably one another doctor. Which doctors are still single?”

 “Well, there’s Franklin from derm, Harrison from anesthesiology, that one guy Myers from OB, Johnson and Archer from Radiology, some others I don’t remember, and Karev," Leah replied.

 "How do you even know that?" Jo made a face. "Actually, I don't want to know."

 "She probably slept with all of them," Stephanie smirked.

 Leah shrugged, "Hey, I don't meet my soulmate for two more years. I'm taking advantage of all the freedom I have left."

 "No offense, but I don't want your sloppy seconds," Jo closed her locker and put on her lab coat. "I haven't had sex in... I can't even remember. But, I would still prefer it if my soulmate didn't sleep with all of my friends first."

 "I don't know, I kind of hope my soulmate is a manwhore," Heather thought out loud. The others turned to look at her strangely. "What? I do. That means he'll be good in bed. That's important. I'm going to be stuck with him for the rest of my life. He's got to know what he's doing."

 The interns busted out in laughter and chatted for a few more minutes before their resident, Lexie Grey walked in, “Hey guys. Today you all start new rotations so listen out for your assignments. Edwards you’re with Grey, Ross with Avery, Brooks with Bailey, Murphy with Robbins, and Wilson you’re with Yang.”

 The interns nodded and all made their ways to find their attendings. Jo walked over to where Yang was standing in the Cardiac ICU and smiled warmly, “Dr. Yang, I’m on your service today.”

 “Oh yes, Wilson right? I’ve heard some good things about you from Hunt and Torres. Make sure you keep up and don’t screw anything up,” Cristina instructed. “I’ve got things to do and lots of patients to see so there’s no time for messing around. Come on, before we’re late for rounds.”

 The next few hours were okay. Jo mostly kept an eye on Yang’s pre and post ops while Yang worked on studying for a new procedure she was going to preform later that afternoon. The day was going by so smoothly that she forgot to take a look at her clock to see how much time was left. She was about to look down when she heard her pager go off, Pit 911. Jo jumped up from her seat at the nurse’s station and hurried down to the ER, Dr. Yang following close behind her.

 They pulled on their trauma gowns and hurried into the trauma room they’d been paged to. The room was a buzz with multiple doctors from various specialties looking at a kid who seemed to be somewhere around eleven or twelve. Derek Shepherd was there, Kepner was there, Torres was there, and Karev.

 “What do we got?” Yang asked as she walked into the room.

 “Brandon Miller, eleven years old. He jumped off a balcony while on a school field trip because his friends dared him to,” Karev sounded off, not looking up from the kid he was examining. “He’s got splenic rupture that I’m going to have go in and repair, wrist fracture, an injury to his spine that’s putting pressure on the cord, a few broken ribs and a pneumothorax. I need you to run an echo on his heart to see if he can even withstand the stress of surgery.”

 For some reason, Jo’s heart rate picked up a little when she heard his voice. She’s seen Karev from afar, but in the past few months that she’d been working at Seattle Grace Mercy West, she’d never been on his service before. He seemed like a great doctor. She’d heard wonderful things about the projects he’d established and his dedication and commitment to his patients. She snapped out of her thoughts when she heard Karev yell out instructions.

 “Can someone insert a damn chest tube?”

 Yang looked at Jo and motioned to get to work, “Wilson, you know how to insert a chest tube?”

 “Yes ma’am,” Jo nodded.

 “Okay, then do it. We don’t have time to waste,” Yang commanded.

 Jo looked around the room for the supplies and was handed a tray by one of the nurses. She made her way up towards the kid and proceeded to insert the tube. She was about to move out of the way when bumped into Karev.

 “Do you mind?” Karev sneered gave her a sideways glance. He didn’t have time for this. He wanted to get out of this trauma room as quickly as possible. He was supposed to meet his soulmate any minute now, and he couldn’t do that if he was stuck in here fixing a kid in a room full of all his friends. He couldn’t miss their encounter. He’d been waiting for this exact moment for decades and he’d be damned if he missed it because some intern was in his way.

 “Sorry,” Jo apologized.

 Alex felt a jolt of electricity run through him as he heard her voice. Looking up, he finally decided to spare more than a quick glance at the intern. Feeling that someone’s eyes were on her, Jo looked up and locked eyes with Karev. She felt her heart and breathing pick up, then skip a few beats, before returning to normal. Alex felt a stirring within his chest and stopped what he was doing to stare at her for just a moment.

 That’s when the dinging started. It was a low chime sort of sound. It grew progressively louder and was getting on Alex’s nerves. He broke eye contact with the intern and looked around for the source of the noise. With all the commotion, he was unsure if anyone else heard it. He looked around at the monitors the kid had strapped to him, trying to determine what was going off.

 “What the hell is that noise? Can someone please figure out what freaking monitor is making that weird noise and turn it off?” Alex growled in annoyance.

 His request made the room go quiet, allowing everyone to hear for themselves exactly what was going on. Alex watched as one by one, all of his friends’ eyes widened in surprise. They looked at each other strangely, not saying anything.

 “Will someone please turn that freaking monitor off?” Alex continued to work on stabilizing the kid’s injuries.

 “Dr. Karev, that’s not one of the monitors,” nurse Tyler spoke, motioning to Alex’s clock that was covered by his trauma gown.

 He stepped away from his patient and pulled up the sleeve of his trauma gown. His numbers were at zero. How the hell were his numbers at zero? When did he meet her? He’d been stuck in this room for the past half hour. He was in a room full of friends and veteran nurses he’d known for years.

 Jo took a deep breath when she realized what happened. She removed her own sleeve and looked at the clock on her wrist. Sure enough, all zeros. Jo froze in fear and confusion as a steady ding came from her clock. After a couple seconds, she looked up at Karev who was still lost in thought.

 There was a gasp somewhere in the background. It sounded like Kepner, “Oh. My. God.”

 “Holy shit,” Yang’s voice rang out.

 “Woah!” Torres exclaimed.

 “I’ll be damned,” Shepherd chuckled.

 A couple of the nurses mumbled their own surprise as Jo continued to stare at her supposed soulmate with wide eyes. Finally, after a few seconds, he looked up at her.

 Jo felt it immediately. She felt the bond attach itself instantly. The thing that she’d convinced herself wasn’t real, the thing that seemed too much like a fairy tale to actually exist in real life, was happening to her. It all made sense. The shivers and butterflies she felt when she heard his voice. The heart palpitations she experienced and the sensation of breathlessness, were all her body’s way of syncing up their heart beats.

 Alex couldn’t believe it. He did meet her. She was here. She was the intern he’d bumped into. He’d been so caught up and desperate to meet her that when he did, he missed it. But then it made sense. The jolt of electricity he felt when he heard her speak. The captivating call of her eyes. Her gorgeous, hazel eyes. He didn’t think he’d ever seen more beautiful eyes. The longer he looked into them, the more he felt the soul bond increase. It was strong, and unlike anything he’d ever really experienced before. It was instant and all consuming. It was real.

 Soon, the dinging ceased. It was no longer needed. They had acknowledged each other. They had met.

 *****

 They never had a chance to talk after that moment. Brandon—the kid—began de-sating and needed to be rushed to the OR immediately. The echo he’d called Cristina in to run would have to wait. There was no time to waste, or he wouldn’t make it. It killed Alex to leave without being able to say anything to her. He wanted to get to know her and hear her story. He barely knew her name—and it was only because he asked while on his way to the OR with Torres, Kepner, and Shepherd. They hadn’t stopped talking about his soulmate throughout the entire time he was in the operating room. Thankfully, he and April were able to resolve the kid’s internal bleeding, leaving Shepherd and Torres to do the real work and try to keep Brandon from being paralyzed.

 Alex wanted to find her. Jo Wilson. That was her name. He asked around before he was directed to the OR board. Sure enough, her name was listed as the resident in OR 4 with Cristina. In the hours he’d been in surgery, she’d been pulled into one of her own. Sighing, Alex decided that he could use this time to talk to someone. He needed to vent. He needed to find Meredith.

 He ran around the hospital for about half hour before realizing where she was. Alex made his way to the hospital daycare and smiled as he showed his ID and walked to where Meredith was playing with Zola. Meredith was sitting on a bean bag chair while Zola was on the floor working on a puzzle. He hurried over to the corner they were in and sat in the bean bag chair across from Meredith.

 “Dude, I’ve been looking for you everywhere.”

 “What is it Alex? I’m trying to spend what little free time I have with my daughter. Can it wait?”

 “No, it can’t,” Alex rolled up the sleeve of his lab coat and showed her his arm. “I met her.”

 “Oh my God!” Meredith gasped and dropped the barbie doll that was in her hand. “You met her? Who is she?”

 “She’s an intern. Jo Wilson,” Alex shared. “I don’t really know a lot about her. I didn’t even get a chance to talk to her because my patient needed to get up to the OR because he was de-sating on us.”

 “Wilson is your soulmate?” Meredith’s eyes widened. “She was the intern I picked for the intern appy. She did really well until she freaked out and froze, but I think she’ll make it. You can normally tell who’s going to make it and who isn’t. She hasn’t given me any reason to believe otherwise. What are you doing here talking to me? Go find her.”

 “I did try to find her. But then I found out she was in OR 4 with Cristina, who just so happened to be there when we met,” Alex grimaced.

 Meredith let out a peel of laughter, “Oh, Cristina is never going to let you live it down. She’s probably airing out all your dirty laundry as we speak. Who knows what she’s told Wilson about you?”

 Alex narrowed his eyes, “Oh shush. I sure hope not. I don’t need my soulmate thinking that I’m an ass before she even meets me.”

 “Hey! There are children present. Language!” Meredith warned motioning to the children playing around them.

 “You act as if I don’t work with children all day.”

 Meredith rolled her eyes. Being friends with Alex really was a pain sometimes, but she wouldn’t have it any other way. She was happy for him. He’d finally met his soulmate. He was finally going to get the happiness he deserved. She just hoped that the universe knew what it was doing when it chose Jo Wilson as his soulmate, “Hold on… you said your soulmate is one of the interns?”

 “Yeah? So what? You were an intern when you met Derek,” Alex shrugged. “It happens.”

 “No, I know that. That’s not what I’m talking about,” Meredith shook her head. “Didn’t you sleep with half the intern class?”

 “Oh crap… You don’t think she knows, right?”

 “Are you kidding? Don’t you remember what it was like to be an intern? Gossip around here spreads like wildfire,” Meredith leaned back in her bean bag chair. “I’m positive she knows exactly how many of her friends you’ve slept with.”

 “Which means she already knows how big of a douche I am,” Alex groaned. “You know, on some level, I always knew that being a man-whore was going to come back and bite me in the ass.”

 Meredith was going to open her mouth to respond when they heard a crash followed by a child crying in the background. Being the peds surgeon that he was, Alex jumped up from his bean bag chair and scanned the room for the source of the crying. There was a young woman holding a boy who looked to be about four. He had a nasty head lac that would probably need stitches.

 “Can someone get ahold of an intern to come take a look at this kid? And page his parents?” One of the daycare workers yelled out.

 Not wanting an intern working on this kid’s face, Alex decided to step in, “Hey. No need to call an intern. I’m a peds surgeon. I’ll take a look at him and get him stitched up. You don’t need an intern leaving a nasty scar on his face. Just page his parents while I check him out.”

 The daycare instructor, Bethany, nodded in appreciation and Alex walked them over to a nearby exam room. He asked a nurse to bring him a suture kit and had Bethany place the crying boy on the bed. The kid was cute. He had wild brown hair and big hazel eyes that looked up at him in awe and wonder, “Hey kiddo, my name is Dr. Alex. What’s yours?”

 “Liam,” the little boy responded, the tears that had once been running down his face now dried.

 For some reason, Alex felt a connection to this kid. He couldn’t explain it. Of course, he’d bonded with patients in the past, but this was different. He’d known this boy for all of two minutes and already felt his protective instincts kick in. Alex decided to try to make some conversation, “Well, hi Liam. I see that you hurt your head a bit there. Do you think you can follow some instructions that I give you?”

 Liam attempted a nod but winced in pain a bit, “Yes Dr. Awex.”

 Alex seriously did not know what was wrong with him. Every time this little boy opened his mouth, he felt the love and affection he had for him increase. What the hell is wrong you? He’s not even your kid. You find your soulmate and all of a sudden you are overwhelmed by the desire to procreate? Shaking the thoughts out of his head, Alex looked over to Bethany, “Can you go make sure one of his parents are on their way? I’m going to do a quick neuro exam and some stitches. They might want to be here for that.”

 The two boys watched as Bethany nodded and walked out the room. Liam looked back up at Alex, “Is she getting my mommy?”

 “Yeah buddy, she is. Now how about you say we make sure you didn’t hit your head too hard when you fell,” Alex proceeded to go about his exam while trying to divert Liam’s attention from the needles he was about to use to close up the head lac.

 Meanwhile in OR 4, Jo had been trying her best to ignore the looks and questions Dr. Yang was sending her way. The first two hours had been mostly quiet, with Yang only speaking in order to teach or give instructions. Now that they were entering their third hour in surgery, Yang seemed to have loosened up a little bit, “Oh come on, give me something. You are Alex Karev’s soulmate, who just so happens to be one of my best friends. I care about him and I love him—if you ever say that I will deny it. What’s your story?”

 This was getting tiring. All Jo wanted was to distract Yang long enough to stop asking questions. Jo was this close to giving in and answering Yang’s questions when a nurse rushed into the room, “Dr. Wilson, Ms. Bethany from daycare called to let you know that your son fell and sustained a head injury. He’s being checked out by a doctor in an exam room nearby the daycare. The doctor said that he’s okay, but he’s going to require some stitches.”

 Jo looked up at the nurse with a panicked expression, “Oh my God. What the hell happened?”

 “I’m not sure of all the details, but your son was requesting your presence.”

 “Well that explains part of the story,” Cristina mumbled to herself. She looked over at the intern standing in front of her. “Go, take care of your kid. We’ll be okay here. Take the rest of the day off while you’re at it.”

 “Thank you so much Dr. Yang,” Jo rushed out of the OR and scrubbed out quickly. She hurried out of the scrub room into the hallway and made her way to the elevators. She tapped her foot impatiently as she waited for the elevator to arrive.

 As soon as she made it to the daycare, Jo asked for her son’s whereabouts. She had finally reached the door of the exam room when she heard a familiar peel of laughter on the other side. She breathed a sigh of relief when she realized that her son was laughing and steadied herself as she opened the door.

 Alex had been having the time of his life stitching Liam’s head lac up. Sure, he was great with kids, his job required it. But spending time with this kid is different. Alex was sure that he’d never clicked with a kid as much as this one. And he was kind of hilarious. The four-year-old was very bright for his age and had a sense of humor better than most adults. In the fifteen minutes that had passed, Alex learned that he and Liam had the same favorite color (green), favorite ice cream flavor (s’mores), they even shared a middle name. On top of that they were both obsessed with babies—Alex was a peds surgeon and Liam said that he was constantly asking his mom when they would have a baby.

 Alex had just promised to sneak Liam up to the hospital nursery when the door opened. With his back was to the door, Alex spoke to the parent he’d assumed had walked in, “Oh, hey. I’m Dr. Karev. I just was in the daycare visiting my niece when your son fell. He got a few stitches, but other than that he’s just fine.”

 Finally turning around, Alex came face to face with his wide-eyed soulmate. Confused, he stared at her dumbly as she stood unmoving like a deer in headlights. The moment was broken when Liam look up and grinned, “Mommy!”

 Breaking out of her trance, Jo looked up at the little boy sitting on the exam table, “Hey baby! I heard you took a fall in daycare. Are you okay?”

 “Yup,” Liam nodded happily. “Dr. Awex fixed me up! He’s so funny, mommy. We wike wots of the same tings and he pwomised to take me to see the babies!”

 “Really? You love babies don’t you,” Jo smiled at her son and glanced quickly at Alex.

 “Uh huh! Dr. Awex fixes babies,” Liam grinned brightly. “I want to fix babies too!”

 “You do, huh? Well, I’m sure he’d love to teach you one day,” Jo wrapped her son in her arms and hugged him closed. She looked up at Alex, “Was he good?”

 “Oh yeah, he was great,” Alex gave her one of his crooked grins. “So, he’s yours?”

 “Yeah, I had him a couple months before I started med school. It’s just us,” Jo felt her heart pick up in speed the more she looked at him. If this whole soulmate thing was true, the Jo was sure that his heart was beating equally as quickly. “Thank you for taking care of him.”

 “Of course,” Alex took a deep breath. This was all too surreal. He was standing in an exam room with his soulmate and her son and he’d never felt more at home. He didn’t want this to end. “You know, I was telling Liam here that maybe I’d try to get him some ice cream. What if we all go together? I know this really great place a couple blocks away. I’ve taken my niece, Zola there a couple times and she loves it.”

 Jo felt like she was dreaming. There was no way this was real. There was no way that her soulmate wanted to take her and her son out for ice cream. This didn’t happen in real life. It only happened in all the rom coms she’d grown to despise over the years. Men were never this good, but somehow, she could tell that Alex was. Jo turned to her son who looked at her with pleading eyes. Deciding that it wouldn’t hurt to say no, she smiled, “I think the two of us would like that very much.”

 And they did enjoy it. The trio looked like the sweetest little family as they went out for ice cream that night. Both Jo and Alex had been commented to on separate occasions by multiple people regarding their adorable dynamics. It was almost strange how normal it felt to be out and about with each other. Maybe it was because Liam was there acting as a buffer, but neither Jo nor Alex could remember why they’d been skeptical in the first place.

 Alex offered to give Jo and Liam a ride home after leaving the ice cream parlor. They’d taken the bus to the hospital that morning and Jo had been planning on taking it back when Alex insisted on getting them home safely. When they finally arrived at Jo’s apartment, Liam refused to go inside and go to sleep unless Alex tucked him into bed. Jo had tried reasoning with Liam, but Alex assured her that it was fine, and he wouldn’t mind reading Liam a bedtime story or two.

 So, that’s how she found herself standing in the doorway of her son’s room, watching as her new soulmate laughed with her son as he read a book to Liam. Jo’s heart fluttered at the scene. Her soulmate and her son had bonded in a matter of hours. Her soulmate actually existed and he was here in her home, tucking her son into bed as if he’d done it a hundred times before.

 When Alex was done, he pulled the covers up over Liam’s small frame and ruffled his hair. He turned off the light and walked out the door, finding Jo standing in the living room. He stuffed his hands in his pockets, “Hey.”

 “Hey,” Jo breathed out a shaky breath. “Thanks for… everything today. You really didn’t have to do all that.”

 “It was nothing,” Alex shrugged bashfully. “I—uh, I had fun.”

 The stood in awkward silence for a few minutes, each person staring at the ground. It’s wasn’t that they didn’t have anything to say, it was that there were too many things to say and neither one of them know where to start.

 "You don't have to do this," Jo shook her head. "I come with a lot of baggage, more than you probably bargained for. I have a very complicated past and I don't trust people easily. On top of that, have a kid. He's the most important person in my life. So if you don't think you can handle all that, it's okay. I won't hold it against you. I'm giving you an out."

 Alex looked at her curiously, "Are you free tomorrow night?"

 "What?" Jo scrunched her eyebrows.

 "Are you free tomorrow night?” Alex repeated.

 “Uh—yeah,” Jo looked at him strangely. “Why?”

 “Go out with me tomorrow, just us. I can ask Meredith if she can babysit. Liam can play with Zola,” Alex offered.

 Jo could feel her heart beating wildly. The nerves in her stomach increasing, “Okay.”

  *****

 The date was a disaster. Everything that could’ve gone wrong went wrong. To be fair, Alex wasn’t really one to go on dates. Which is why he’d enlisted the help of Kepner and Robbins to set up the perfect first date. They had given him a list of suggestions of all the places he could take Jo and all the things they could do.

 Of course, nothing went as planned. The restaurant they were going to eat at, didn’t have a table available. The movie they were going to watch was sold out. They missed their ferry, lost their tickets to the Seattle Great Wheel, and got stuck in traffic for about an hour.

 Finally deciding to screw it, Alex ordered a pizza and fried chicken, bought a six pack of beer, and drove up to one of the cliffs just outside the city. He grabbed the blanket that was in the trunk of his car and set it outside in the grass. Jo hopped out and put the food and beers on the ground.

 They spent some time talking about their pasts. They talked about their upbringing, discovering that they had a lot more in common than they would’ve thought. Alex shared about his first marriage and Jo shared hers. She told him about her name and why she chose it. They’d been making self-deprecating jokes and laughing while stargazing when it started to pour out of nowhere. They laugh and squeal as they hurry back into the car. Alex turned the heater on to help them warm up. He looked back at Jo and grimaced, "I am so sorry. This night has been a disaster. I should’ve known I would’ve screwed it up.”

 “Are you kidding?” Jo looked at Alex in disbelief. “I don’t think I’ve laughed this much ever. I’ve had more fun tonight than I have in a long time.”

 “Really?” Alex raised his eyebrows. “You don’t care that we’re sitting in my car, soaked, eating pizza and fried chicken while drinking a couple of beers.”

 “I don’t mind at all, honestly. I prefer this to fancy restaurants and cheesy movies,” Jo smiled brightly. Looking at Alex, she felt butterflies. She felt seen, she felt heard, she felt happy. “You know, I didn’t believe in all this. I didn’t believe that there was someone out there specifically made for me. I thought it was all a made-up fairytale that people just tried so hard to hold on to because life sucks sometimes. But meeting you, talking to you… I know that I want to do this for the rest of my life.”

 “I do too,” Alex gave her a crooked grin. In the past few hours, he knew he’d fallen in love with this woman. “Can I kiss you?”

 Jo felt her cheeks heat up. She nodded shyly, “Yes.”

 Alex leaned in and pulled Jo into a passionate kiss, leaving her breathless. Nothing had ever felt more right in her life. She wanted to stay here in his arms and never leave and so did he. Alex would give anything to stay in that moment forever.

 When they finally broke apart, both were grinning like idiots. Alex tucked a piece of hair behind Jo’s ear, “That was definitely worth the twenty years I spent looking at my clock wishing I could just hurry up and meet you.” He looked at the time on the dashboard of his car. “It’s getting late. We should go pick up Liam at Mer’s and I’ll drop you guys off at your place.”

 “Or… we could see if she wouldn’t mind keeping him overnight. He’s probably asleep now anyway. It would be a shame to wake him up,” Jo looked up at him mischievously.  

 “It would be a shame,” Alex nodded in understanding. His face broke out into a smirk. “Guess I’ll just be taking you home instead.”

  ******

  One year later….

 “Okay, you remember the plan?”

 “Yes, Daddy!” Liam nodded his little head at Alex. He was jumping with excitement. Today, his Daddy was going to propose to his Mommy. His Daddy wasn’t always his Daddy, though. For a long time, it was just Liam and Mommy. Now, the nice doctor that stitched up his head was his new Daddy and Liam couldn’t be happier. “Will Mommy like the ring?”

 “I sure hope so, because I spent a lot of money on that thing,” Alex muttered under his breath. “You’re going to make sure that Mommy walks over here to the fountain when it’s time. Got it?”

 “Got it!”

 Minutes later, Alex was standing by the fountain in downtown waiting for his son to lead his soulmate to where he was waiting for them. He paced nervously as he watched them round the corner, Liam pulling on his mom’s coat sleeve to get her to hurry. As they approached, Alex took a deep breath and adjusted his tie. He smiled as the two people he loved most in the world came to a halt in front of him.

 “Hi,” Alex smiled cheekily.

 “Hi,” Jo beamed in return. “What are you doing here? And why are you wearing a suit?”

 “I’m here because, I have something to say. And I decided to do it in public with Liam present so that I couldn’t’ chicken out,” Alex chuckled and looked down at the ground before lifting his gaze to meet Jo’s once more. “Jo, from the moment I met you, everything in my life suddenly made sense. Right then, I met the person I knew I was going to love for the rest of my life. You have changed me. I am a better man because of you and Liam. I want to grow old with you. I want to be by your side until we’re old and gray and yelling at each other about who was a better surgeon.”

 Jo let out a laugh as tears filled her eyes. Alex leaned in for a brief kiss before finally getting down on one knee, “I love you. So, Jo Wilson, will you marry me?”

 Jo’s breath hitched, “Yes.”

 “Yes?”

 “Yes! Alex, I can’t wait to marry you.”

 “Mommy and Daddy are getting married!” Liam squealed from where he was standing.

 Alex and Jo laughed at Liam’s excitement, “Yeah, we are.”

[spencapenca]

The Misfits

Hi! So I am currently writing a highschool AU called The Misfits. It is about the BAU as teenagers. Going through four of the roughest years of their lives. Highschool sucks for everyone, especially when you go through it alone. Rolling with the punches of life and high school, these students find solace in each other. Anyways! It continues after the break

CW! Mentions of mental abuse, emotional neglect, physical abuse, suicide, and homophobic slurs.

---

Spencer woke up early… way too early, but he was excited. This was his first day of highschool. Sure, he was at least five years younger than everyone in his grade, but he was ready. His mother on the other hand was not. She hadn’t moved out of her room in three days. He walked into the room and went over to her bed. 

“Good Morning Mama, I start high school today.” He says seeing that she was awake and reading. She looked at him and back at her book without saying a word, he realized that she was too far gone to respond right now. He walked out of the room sadly, going to the kitchen to look for food of some sort. He had become used to doing things by himself, adapting to the new changes. His dad had left six months earlier, which only worsened his mother's downward spiral. Spencer wanted his mom to get him ready for his first day: to cook him breakfast, pack his lunch, maybe even do the cheesy pictures that other moms did. But not Diana. No. Never Diana. Electronics were evil, from the government. His dad had bought him a phone and paid the bill; the only thing he did. Not that he ever answered Spencer's attempts to reach out but it was nice to have though, just in case. 

After standing on plenty of stools, Spencer decided on poptarts. He popped the strawberry pastries in the toaster and shifted his weight from foot to foot, thinking as he waited for the poptarts to become warm and toasty. His mind wandered to a time two years ago, his first day of middle school. His mom was still lucid then, she had made him breakfast and read to him. He was only seven then,he was nine now; always was smart for his age. It wasn’t easy to be the youngest in the grade. He got jostled around a lot and took a lot of elbows to the nose, but he was used to it. He was also used to the looks he got when he did the advanced work in class,the looks of doubt. He hated them. His attention popped back to the pastries when they sprung up in the toaster. He jumped before realizing what had just happened. He pulled them out and hissed at the heat, dropping them onto a paper towel. He sat and ate, allowing his mind to wander again. Remembering his mom before she went down hill. Before he was forced into being his own parent, he was already expected to be an adult.He just wanted to be cared for, like most kids did,he was only nine after all. Sure, he was in highschool, but he was still little. He still wanted the crutch of his mom and dad. He wanted to be held. When he went into his mom’s room earlier, he had hoped for her to scoop him up and give him a kiss on the forehead, and read some poetry to him. Or even just talk to him. Just be a human, and she would, in time…

After he finished eating, he had to rush to get dressed. Trying his best not to think about the fact that he had to walk the five and a half miles to school. He was too young to sign himself up for the school bus, obviously too young to drive, and on top of that he didn’t have anyone to carpool with. He rushed into his room and pulled on a pair of corduroy slacks, his old striped comfort sweater, and his tennis shoes. The only reason he wore a sweater was because it helped calm him down when he was having sensory issues, though he was always cold. Probably from the lack of vitamins in his diet. He rushed to pack his lunch, not able to find his old lunch bag, so he used a grocery sack. He remembered when his dad would pack his lunch and he lost some composure. Small tears stinging at the corners of his eye, a lump rising in his throat, the building pressure behind his nose. He pushed it all down, while making a sloppy PB and J and throwing a sleeve of Saltines into the sack. He called it a day and got his bag, shoving his lunch in the torn backpack. He walked out of the door and started the trek to school, getting to watch the sunrise. The purples made a small smile peak at his cheeks, the pinks mixing with the oranges made his chest feel warm. His hands flapped happily and he walked with a small bounce in his step. Sweat already starting to bead at his forehead.

  It took him an hour and a half, but he got to the school in enough time to get his schedule. He knew that he was assigned a guide for the first day, just to help him around the school because he was so young. Spencer walked into the main office, and didn’t even clear the top of the counter, his messy curls peeking up from behind it. 

“Um, excuse me. I need to get my schedule.” He said in a squeaky voice. 

“Okay honey, just come right around here.” The nice secretary lady said. Her name plate read Alex Blake. 

The small boy walked around to her side of the counter and smiled at her. “I’m Spencer Reid. R-E-I-D.” He said confidently, trying to show that he belonged here. 

“Oh the youngin. Okay honey, your freshman guide is Aaron Hotchner. He is a Junior. You guys surprisingly have a similar schedule, so stick with him. Let me know if you need anything.” She said, pointing him over to a tall ravenette man. 

He walked over, and in a small voice approached him. “Hi, I’m Spencer, your freshman. I need my schedule, please.” He said with a squeak, his voice rising in pitch because he was nervous. 

“Hey Spencer, um… Here is your schedule, we actually have a first period and lunch together. So just stick with me for a bit and we can head off to our first class. Which just so happens to be Algebra II.” He said without looking at the kid. He handed him his schedule and held back a gasp. “How old are you?” He asked in a hushed voice.

Spencer wasn’t surprised this was one of the first questions. He had become used to this. “I’m nine… I know I’m little, but I am advanced. I have a high IQ and tested when I was seven, being placed into seventh grade. Now I’m nine in the ninth.” He liked how that had worked. So far, this hadn’t sucked. 

…

Jennifer had woken up hours earlier, going on a run before school. She did her best to stay in shape during her off season, still allowing herself to indulge in normal teenage things from time to time. WIthin the three hours she had been awake, the young woman had already worked out and showered, standing in front of her mirror, looking at the shell of the person she once was. Tired, dark bags fell under her eyes, her face puffy from the long nights spent crying herself to sleep. Her sister had died seven months ago. Her sister's room had been left untouched, besides the clothes that she had taken from her closet. She would sleep in her sister's hoodie, only to put it back the next day so it wouldn’t lose her smell. Her death hit her harder than she let on. She had slowly started to become numb inside, forcing a smile only around her parents and friends. Everytime she passed her sister's bedroom a small piece of her heart would break again. 

Today was supposed to be the day her older sister started Senior year. They were going to be in school together for one year. Their year. Jennifer shook her head at the thought. Refusing to let tears fall from her eyes once more. She felt so broken and weak, though everyone told her it was normal. It would probably be easier if everywhere she turned Rosalyn wasn’t staring back at her. Her door being open, a crack, her shampoo bottle, the untouched toothbrush. Everywhere Jennifer looked she saw her dead sister. She refused to shower in the bathtub after finding her sister in it. She tried… once. It ended with her shaking and crying in the tub, her mom having to turn off the water and pick her up. Since then she barely walked into that bathroom. She blinked, being brought back to reality. She puts on a burnt red dress with paisley print on it, paired with simple white shoes. She brushed through her hair, and tied it up, a ribbon lacing around the ponytail. She had opted for a softer sense of style. Mainly to portray the happiness she longed to feel. 

She soon walked downstairs, greeted by her mother. Her father was already at work, having seemed burying himself in it since the death. Her mom was the American Dream of a mother: supportive, stay at home mom that cooks breakfast and dinner. She loved her mom, though she wished she saw her break down just once. Not just act like everything was okay. 

“Good morning sunshine, how did you sleep?” Sandy asked cheerfully.

Jennifer looked at her and put on the fake smile that had an all too comfortable home on her face. “Good morning, Mom. I slept well. What’s for breakfast?” She asked in a happy voice.

“French toast, eggs, sausage, fruit, and orange juice.” She answered, setting a plate of food in front of her. Sandy was sweet, really. And Jennifer appreciated her so much for the things she did. 

Jennifer's eyes lit up when the food was sat in front of her. She took a sip of her orange juice and smiled at her mom. “Thank you Mama. It looks really good.” 

Sandy smiled softly, living to see the smile of her daughter. It broke her when Rosalyn killed herself. She never let Jennifer see how it hurt her. She had to be strong for her daughter, keep her afloat too. She would cry when Jennifer wasn’t around. Sitting on the rug of her eldest’s floor, her smell enveloping her as she sobbed into it. Blaming herself for not seeing the warning signs of her daughter's depression. The withdrawal, the sudden “I love you’s’, soon to be followed by long hugs. 

Both ladies had happy, light conversations until it was time to leave for school. The time Jennifer was dreading. Sandy drove her happily, happy to see her daughter entering such a crucial time in her life. Reminding her not to forget that she had volleyball practice after school. After multiple rounds of I love yous and goodbyes, Jennifer walked into the school. She walked to the Secretary and was assigned her Freshman Guide. Emily Prentiss. Jennifer shrugged it off until she saw the other female. The blonde had known that she liked girls, coming to terms with it over the summer, though you couldn’t tell by looking at her. Emily was gorgeous. She had a totally opposite look of the younger woman. Tall, pale, dark haired beauty. Jennifer felt heat rush to her cheeks. ‘Keep it together Jareau!’ She thought to herself.

“So you’re the freshie I have. Good to know. I’m Emily.” She said with a nod.

“I’m Jennifer,” she said with a squeak in her voice that she swallowed. 

“I’m gonna call you JJ. Fits you better. Here’s your schedule. Try to keep up.” She says handing her it and walking off.

JJ. She liked it. She made a mental note of it. From this day forward she was JJ. 

…

Penelope has already been up for hours. Grooming herself to look perfect for the first day. She wanted to make sure everyone knew who Penelope Garcia was,though she wished her last name fit her better. During roll call she always had to explain that she was, in fact, Penelope Garcia. She had buried her feelings with her parents. Six feet under. After her parents died, she moved to Virginia and moved in with her mom’s best friend, of whom she thought of, and called her aunt. This was the first year she wanted to be back in school,the previous year she opted to do homeschooling. She didn’t want to be around anyone, but she decided that this year would be different. She would push herself to be happy. She was going to force herself into her old happy persona. Maybe it would start to feel real to her again. Though the issue wasn’t that she was sad, it was that she wouldn’t allow herself to be. She felt the need to be happy all the time. Show everyone how strong she is. That was except for one person, Derek Morgan. He was the next door neighbor's son. Her aunt had set her up to hang out with him because they had one thing in common: a dead parent. They had hit it off. He would come over and just talk to her some days when she was having a bad day, sitting out in a tree that she thought was secluded, until Derek came up. She was crying and he let her cry on his shoulder. He told her that it would all feel better soon. That it would take time. And from that moment forward, they were best friends. Soon morphing into more. This summer they had made it official. 

Penelope smelled the familiar smell of chocolate chip pancakes through the air and followed it downstairs. Greeting her aunt with a bubbly smile. “Good morning Alyssa! It smells amazing!” She complemented. They both sat and ate, light conversation flowing between them. She received the text that Derek was ready, finally home and showered from his football practice. 

“Goodbye Alyssa. Derek is gonna drive me to school today. Love you!” She called out from the doorway. Her black skirt ruffling up in the breeze. 

“Have a good day Pen!” She called back, the screen door slamming in response. 

Penelope walked over to Derek’s house, knocking on the door. He greets her with a toothy smile. “Good morning baby girl” He says, wrapping one arm around her shoulder as he walked out to his car with her. They had been dating for about four months, though they had been pining for at least eight months.

“Good morning handsome. Are you ready for sophomore year?” She asked, smiling at the male. He always held her hand while they drove. He could drive early because he had a birthday that fell early in the year. 

“Of course I am, are you? I know how hard this is. Especially since you’re new.” 

“I’m ready. I’m just gonna take this year by the horns, no one knows me, no one knows what happened. No one knows my past. All they know is I’m the new girl. That's all they need to know.” She says matter of factly. 

Derek looked over at her and smiled. “Okay, but remember. I understand, and I am always here. No matter what, no matter how bad you think it is. I’m in your corner.” 

Penelope blushed softly, “Thank you… I know.” 

After ten minutes they pull up to the school. Penelope took a deep breath and swallowed. Smoothing out her pink top. She looked cute, really. Pink top, black skirt, white shoes. Though, her and Derek looked out of place together. 

She looks over at him and smiles, pecking him on the cheek. “Lets go kick ass.” 

Derek let out a nice hearty laugh and rolled his eyes, “Lets go kick ass.”

They walked into the school, hand in hand, smiles on both of their faces, like nothing could ruin their happy high, 

…

Five a.m always came too early in Derek’s opinion. Groaning as he rolled out of bed, he threw on his practice uniform and grabbed his equipment bag, heading to the field. When he arrived, he ran his five laps around the field and then drank water, heading out to practice. Three long hours later he was dripping sweat, putting away his cleats.

 One of his teammates comes over to him, “Yo Morgan, you coming out to breakfast with the team? We’re going to IHop before school. It’s a tradition.” 

“Nah man, I’m good. Thank you though.” Derek said, not wanting to give an explanation to why. 

“Come one man! It’s tradition! It's your first year on varsity, just give me a good reason why, and I will leave you alone. Just one good, legitimate reason why.” 

“I’m… I’m picking up my girl okay? It’s her first day here, and I promised her I would pick her up and drive her. Chill?” 

“Show me a picture of ‘your girl’ and I’ll leave it be. Lady Man Morgan.” He teased, pushing his shoulder.

Derek pulled out his phone and showed him his lockscreen, him and Penelope together, Her head resting on his chest. There was a significant height difference between the pair. “That's my girl. Her name is Penelope, but I call her Pen.” He boasts, until he hears a scoff and a chuckle. Who did this kid think he was?

“Oh, THAT’S your girl. Dude just skip her. She ain’t cute anyways.” 

Derek felt a small bubble of anger rise in his chest, “Watch what you say, that’s my girl. You right, she ain’t cute, she is beautiful. I can’t see what would make you think otherwise McClellan.” He replied through gritted teeth.

“Come on… It’s obvious isn’t it? The  ELEPHANT in the room… Well picture I guess.” He added snarkily. Of course he was talking about her weight, most people did. It always pissed Derek off in public, when people would see them at dinner and stare at her. Making comments about her or what she was eating. 

Derek glared at him, “Oh… so you’re that type of asshole. Okay, well be sure to never invite me anywhere with you again. I would much rather hang out with my girlfriend. She is gorgeous, funny, kind, smart, and stronger than you would ever be.” He spat, turning away and texting her. ‘Good morning, gorgeous. I hope you slept well, I just got out of practice. Will be ready to go at 9:00’ 

She responded almost immediately, like normal. ‘Good morning babe :), I slept amazing, I’ll meet you at your front door.’ 

Derek smiled and put his phone away, driving home. Greeted by his two older sisters in the kitchen, Desiree and Sarah. They basically raised him. His mom was always busy working as a nurse at the hospital, and his dad died in Chicago when he was ten. It was still hard, even after six years. Big dates always reminds him of the lack of a father. The first day was no different. His fifth grade year was his last first day with his dad. His dad would always make chocolate chip waffles and give him a pep talk. Tell him to be good, make sure he was always kind, and then kiss his forehead, and ruffle his hair. He missed it every year. 

Desiree tried to keep the tradition of chocolate chip waffles alive, trying to keep their dad alive with the memories. “Der! I made waffles for you, for after you shower. Please  shower first. You smell like sweaty boy and feet.” She called from the kitchen, not even seeing him yet. 

Derek just laughs in response and goes upstairs getting ready for the day. He looks in the mirror and closes his eyes for a moment, taking a deep breath. “Dad, I promise this year I am going to do my best in school, I’m going to stay out of trouble, and I’m always going to be kind. I gotta girlfriend this year. You would love her pops. She’s feisty, she’s so smart and kind. Her folks are gone too. Maybe you know them… maybe not. I don’t know how it works, but I gotta go pops. I love you.” He said into the mirror. Sometimes he would talk to the picture of his dad that he hung on his mirror, looking himself in the eyes. He found it helped on the hard days.

He walked downstairs and smiled when he smelled the waffles, “You guys are the best!” He commented through a mouthful of hot waffle. Light banter flows between the siblings, followed by hugs. Derek leaves when Penelope walks over to his house, hearing her humming something before she even knocks at the door. He smiles widely at her, she looked pretty today. He always had thought she was pretty, even when they had first met. “Good morning, baby girl!” He greeted, wrapping his arm around her shoulder, pulling her close so he could secretly get a smell of her perfume. She always smelled sweet, like vanilla, or cake. 

The two drove to school, Derek holding her hand the entire time. They hadn’t kissed or anything yet. Just hand holding, they had cuddled while watching movies, but they both didn’t want to hurt the other. Derek knew she wasn’t in the best state, so he was always her best friend first, boyfriend came second. 

He looks over at her and smiles when she says, “Let’s kick ass.” “Let’s kick ass.” 

…

Emily woke up bright and early, dealing with her mother. Of course, today of all days she had to be home. She woke up to her light being flipped on, “Emily! Get out of bed, it is six in the morning. You have school today!” Her mother said, her voice raised. 

“Mother. It’s six. School starts at NINE FIFTEEN.” She said, her pillow now over her eyes, “Leave me alone.” She groans

“Emily Elizabeth Prentiss, you have two minutes to get out of bed before I pour water on you. Now. And look presentable.” She commands, the door slamming shut with her exit. 

Emily groaned and got out of her bed, her dark messy curls falling over her eyes. She lets out an annoyed huff and throws her hair into a messy ponytail and walks to the bathroom. She washes her face and then goes into her room, pulling out an outfit. Fishnet tights, ripped jeans, cuffed of course, a black and white striped long sleeved shirt, and a band tee over it. She slipped on her Doc’s and an assortment of chains. Her mom always hated how she looked, how she dressed. It started out as a way to piss her mom off, show her that she isn’t some political figure. She never would be. She sat down at her vanity to do her makeup, she favored dark colors, purples and blacks mainly. She smiled as she winged her eyeliner, it came out perfectly. The raven headed girl decided to go downstairs, drink some coffee. Maybe it would make her feel better. 

When she got downstairs her mother audibly gasped, “Emily! You look like the grim reaper's wife!” 

Emily looked at her and rolled her eyes, walking over to the cabinet and getting the items to make her coffee, pouring the cream into the bottom of a tumbler filled with ice, pouring the hot coffee over it. “As long as SHE is pretty, I’ll take it,” She mouthed, knowing her mother hated her sexuality. She often told her it was a phase, just a rebellion. 

Elizabeth dropped the spoon she was using to eat her oats, “Emily, you and I both know that you’re just rebelling. Don’t talk that homosexual talk in this household. It’s dirty and imperfect. We’re Prentiss’ we don’t do those things.” 

The teen looked at her and scoffed, her heart dropping. She took it, always did, always would. Though she would never show her mother the pain she caused; she would never let her win. The second that Emily showed any trace of hurt, she would win. Emily translated that to her normal social life. Always making herself look like a hardass, scaring everyone around her. She couldn’t let herself be vulnerable, or else her mother would use it, and treat it like a weakness. Emily was always a pawn in her mother's political games. She knew it. 

Emily had let the stress get to her, taking the coffee upstairs, she dug in her bedside drawer to grab her old friend. She would smoke weed whenever she needed to relax, whenever her life seemed like too much. She was high most of the time. She normally used a dab pen, though sometimes she would use a (joint/blunt). She never used bongs, she held herself higher than that. She put the pen to her mouth and inhaled. One. Two. Three. Four. Five. Hold…. Inhale. Exhale. She repeated this process a couple of times, feeling the buzz of more vapor in her lungs than air, knowing that's her sign to stop. She could longboard to school now. Forget about the rest of her problems momentarily. Though, it was less than ideal to do in her boots. 

She goes downstairs, and thankfully her mother is gone. She said her goodbyes to her nanny, Amanda, and walked out the front door with her long board in one hand, her backpack on, and her music blaring in her ears. She would listen to a mix of most everything. Sometimes it was screamo, sometimes it was soft pop. Today it was her love playlist. She liked to imagine herself riding alongside a pretty girl, holding her hand as they skated together. She pushed the two miles to school, arriving early anyways. She makes a beeline for the secretary. She had become close to her the previous school year after Blake found her crying in the bathroom because of her mother. The vile names she had spit at her. Ever since then she had become a confidant. 

“Blake! You will not believe what happened. Ugh! It was so fucking, sorry, freaking stupid!” She huffed, pulling a chair besides her desk.

“Well, good morning to you too Emily. What happened?” She asked, holding back a laugh

“Well for starters, my mother was home. That in and of itself is horrible. Then she wakes me up at six this morning, demanding I get up and dressed. So I did. But THAT wasn’t good enough for her either, now was it?” She spat angrily, her hands tapping on her leg that was bouncing up and down, anxiety still very obviously present.

“Oh… wow. She said something about your clothes didn’t she?”

“OF COURSE she did. Because GOD FORBID her precious little perfect angel. She said something about me looking like the Grim Reaper’s wife. So I said as long as SHE is pretty, I don’t care. That thoroughly pissed her off. It’s like she just doesn’t care. I’m not her perfect little girl, and she can’t use me, so she decides that I’m just not good enough. All A’s and on honor roll, not to mention the advanced classes. But THAT'S not good enough.” She ranted, the older woman listening, nodding her head and adding small affirmatives.

“I’m sorry that she is like that. I think that your outfit is quite cool, and she has no reason to get mad at you over that. It is your sexuality, and you can’t control who you like. I wish I could help you, but from what I’ve heard, she isn’t around much, and your nanny is pretty accepting.” 

Emily nodded, taking a ragged breath, “You’re right… I better shut up, there is a freshman” Emily says, seeing a blonde girl walk in. She looked like that Junior that committed suicide. Shit. That was her sister. She was gorgeous, unique looking. She was soft. Her hair framing her angular face perfectly. She was just beautiful. Emily honestly forgot to breathe for a moment, letting her face turn a rosy color before realizing what she was doing. She shook her head and got up, walking behind the desk, over to distract herself. 

It took about ten minutes, but Alex came over to Emily, presenting her with the freshman. Her mind started to race, the pretty girl standing in front of her, leaving her speechless. She soon heard that her name was Jennifer. JJ… It fit. It was soft enough to be spoken with the utmost love, but also to be called carelessly. She made it known too. 

“I’m gonna call you JJ, it fits you better. Here’s your schedule, try to keep up.” She spoke back, trying so hard not to turn into a pile of mush in front of her. She turned on her heels and walked fastly in the other direction, making sure no one could see the radiant smile painted on her face. 

…

Aaron woke up at 5:30, making sure he had enough time to get breakfast ready for his mother and his little brother. He had always made sure to step up, wanting to make the house a more peaceful place. His dad had begun taking his rough days and frustrations out on Aaron, soon becoming more than just yelling. The young boy made sure to keep his brother and mother safe, taking the brunt of the abuse. His father died when he was fourteen, and he had a wave of relief crash over him. He knew that he didn’t have to take the abuse any longer, he didn’t have to wait until his father went to sleep to do things because he was afraid of getting thrown against the wall. He didn’t have to step in between his mother and his father, letting the punches land on his body. The first time his father ever hit Sean was the day Aaron knew he wasn’t able to be a kid. He grew up extremely fast, acting and talking like an adult from the age of eight. He had never learned how to be a kid. He never knew how to play with other kids. And that would come to affect him. He was always seen as the hardass, from the clothes he would wear, to the way he talked. He was always more mature, not laughing at the jokes his classmates would tell, not really having many friends. He always stuck up for everyone though. He would see freshmen being made fun of by upperclassmen and he would make sure he put a stop to it. 

The ravenette would make his family breakfast everyday, today he was making them french toast and eggs. He saw a very sleepy looking Sean bound down the hallway, his hair a sleep ridden mess. “Good morning, breakfast is on the table. I need to go get ready for school. You have forty five minutes to eat and get dressed. I’m walking you to the bus stop this morning.” He said leaving the room, running into his mother in the hallway. “Good morning mama, breakfast is on the table. Have a good day at work.” 

The male got into the shower quickly, rushing to get ready. He pulled on a pair of khakis and a green polo shirt, looking like a dad about to go golfing. He chuckled and rolled his eyes at his reflection, smoothing out his hair. He looked at his phone and realized that he needed to get a move on. He took Sean to the bus stop, walking back for his friend, Dave Rossi to pick him up. Dave and him had been friends since elementary school, seeking solace in each other. He was the stability that Dave needed, and Dave was the rebellion he needed. The man pulled up in his classic convertible. Aaron climbed into the front seat, relaxing into the leather. 

“Hey Dave, thanks for picking me up.” He piped up with a small smile.

“Aaron! It’s no issue. How is Sean and Amanda?” 

“Oh, they’re good. Sean misses you, he keeps asking me when you’re coming over again. Mom misses you too.” 

Dave smiled at him and hummed in response, “I’ll have to come over one night for dinner” He said, pulling into the school. It was a short drive, but it was one that was well worth the gas.

Aaron walked into the school building and met with Blake, getting introduced with his freshman. Spencer Reid. When he saw the boy he was confused, he looked like a child. “Hi, I’m Aaron. What’s your name?”

“Spencer, I’m your freshman. I need my schedule.” He squeaked out. Damn he even sounded young. 

Aaron was puzzled. How old was this kid?  “Hey Spencer, um… Here is your schedule, we actually have a first period and lunch together. So just stick with me for a bit and we can head off to our first class. Which just so happens to be Algebra II. How old are you?” He asked, his voice lower in pitch.

Spencer looked up at him. “I’m nine… I know I’m little, but I am advanced. I have a high IQ and tested when I was seven, being placed into seventh grade. Now I’m nine in the ninth.”

Aaron looked at him, keeping his face in a calm manner. Nine. He was nine in high school. He knew that he needed to protect him. He was an easy target. He led the boy to their first hour, showing him the ropes. Maybe this year wouldn’t be terrible. 

…

David woke up to the smell of food cooking. This was new. Normally he was home alone. He used to have his nanny Laura around, but  when he started highschool his parents decided he was old enough to stay home without constant supervision. He missed the company though, seeing as how they had grown a nice friendship in the time. He wandered downstairs and saw his parents in the kitchen, a warm smile spreading across his face. They were home… For the first time in at least a month. 

“Ma! Pa!” He greeted from the doorway, soon walking into the kitchen. He felt a warm bubble of happiness in his chest, something he felt less and less. The young man was lonely to say the least. He never had his parents around as a kid. He was always being handed around from nanny to butler, his parents deciding to buy his love instead. It started with nice toys, soon turning to electronics, and then a car. He was spoiled, but not on his own accord. He knew that his parents felt guilty for how they were absent in his life. 

“Bambino!” His father greets, kissing the side of his head obnoxiously like the Italian father he was. Though the warmth of the moment was short lived when his phone rang, calling both him and Mrs. Rossi into work. Dave sighed, knowing that no arguing or sadness could help his case. 

Dave sat in silence, eating the eggs his dad had made for him. He put his dirty dishes in the sink rinsing them off to make his job easier for later. Even though he had people to do these things for him, he insisted on doing it himself. He wasn’t that lazy. He knew that he would be on his own, so he figured he needed to know those basic life skills. He did get to learn some things from his friend Aaron. Aaron and him had been friends since fourth grade, despite the social classes. He thought of Aaron like an older brother, though they were the same age. He needed the responsibility and boundaries the other male had, craving that himself. 

Dave walked upstairs, getting ready for the day. A hot shower, followed by jeans, a white tee-shirt and a leather jacket. His hair messily fluffed to the side. He went for a Greaser esc style. He packed his bag, soon going out to his car to pick Aaron up. He felt bad for the man because he didn’t drive yet, he was too busy to deal with minimal things. Or that is what he said. When he got to the males house, he smiled warmly. He was so alone at home, any interaction made him happy. When Aaron told him Sean missed him his heart swelled. Dave was an only child. He always loved children, being around them, playing or talking to them, coloring, really anything they wanted. He thought of the Hotchner family as his family away from home. Amanda being around more than his mother ever was. 

Dave pulled into the school at 7:15, leaving time to screw around before his first hour. His grades never suffered from his antics. He felt himself slipping into the persona of David Rossi, the class clown. He acted different at school, making himself overly obnoxious, trying to be funny because he wanted acceptance. Was that really too much to ask?

[wlw-in-space]

Can you do a oneshot teenage b!d has had to move in with her sisters after Eliza's death, and a few months later ends up getting extremely sick and needs her tonsils removed. While her sisters are taking care of her she keeps having fever dreams about her mother's death, and confesses her guilt about how she feels like its her fault.

warnings: death (let me know if you’d like me to add anymore)

After getting your tonsils out, the last thing you needed was to be reminded of your mother passing away.

Her death had hit you and your big sisters hard, but it seemed the worst for you.

You moved in with Alex the day after it happened, and had already lived in National City with your sisters and their friends for six months.

To mark that six month period, you got your tonsils out. After having tonsillitis for way too long, Alex took you to the doctor and you ended up having to get your tonsils removed.

It obviously wasn’t very fun, but you luckily had Kara and Alex to take care of you and make you feel better.

The only good thing about the timing of your tonsillitis was that it was summer, so you didn’t have to go to school and you could stay at home and recover for as long as you needed to. (This wasn’t what you thought was a good thing, you would’ve much rather have done something fun instead of having tonsillitis, but Alex managed to convince you that it was better this way and as she put it, “You would’ve had a shit ton of make-up work to do when you got back to school, kiddo.”)

According to google, it wasn’t uncommon to still have a fever after getting your tonsils out. It was supposed to last a few nights, which you were fine with, as long as it went away quickly.

After your tonsillectomy, you woke up in the middle of the night from a fever dream, shivering profusely.

The dream was disturbing and terrifying, more of a nightmare really, (that’s what fever dreams were, after all) and they reminded you of the way your mother died.

You covered yourself more with the comforter and closed your eyes tightly trying to fall back asleep.

When you woke up again in the morning, you were relieved the dream didn’t continue.

It was beginning to seem like every time you took a nap or slept you were having another fever dream, all about your mom, but different in little ways.

It was driving you insane. Each nightmare seemed to get worse and more realistic, and you were starting to wake up crying.

You thought of going to Alex’s room. You knew she wouldn’t mind but you just couldn’t do it.

Kara came over every day and spent a few hours with you just to make sure you were doing okay.

It had been half a week since your surgery and your throat was feeling a lot better but your fever hadn’t budged below a low grade fever, so you were stuck with those fever dreams.

Each day it seemed like you had gotten more upset or just less like yourself.

Kara and Alex noticed. They didn’t say anything but when they came into your room to give you a snack two or three hours after breakfast, they brought you your favorite ice cream in a large tub with three spoons, handing you one while they kept the others for themselves.

Kara moved to sit on one side of you and Alex sat on the other so you were sandwiched between them.

“We thought you might want some ice cream,” Alex smiled, digging her spoon into the tub and starting to eat some of it.

“Thank you,” You said hoarsely, actually really relieved because the cold of the ice cream was soothing your throat.

“You up to watching a movie?” She put her arm around you, pulling you against her and you closed your eyes for a few seconds, sighing softly, letting yourself sink into her before nodding your head.

Alex kissed the top of your head and grabbed the remote beside her and flicked on the tv that was hanging on the wall while Kara moved to hold your free hand.

You squeezed her hand softly and opened your eyes to look at her.

She offered you a reassuring smile and began to rub your knuckles with the pad of her thumb.

You looked over to what Alex was putting on and smiled when you recognized your favorite movie on the screen, “I’m glad I’m not contagious anymore.”

Alex chuckled, “Me too.”

“You guys give great hugs,” You quipped, eating another spoonful of ice cream.

The ice cream only lasted ten minutes into the movie, you guys had already finished all of it before the plot had even started to get good, but neither of the three of you wanted more, so it didn’t really matter.

You ended up getting a bit too comfortable wedged between your big sisters and drifted off to sleep.

They didn’t think much of it and let you sleep, knowing that you weren’t feeling your best and thinking that sleep would help you.

Sleep did not, in fact, help you.

Another nightmare about your mom.

Luckily, Kara and Alex woke you up before it could get too bad.

They seemed really scared and you began to feel guiltier than you already were for alarming them.

You brushed away the tears you had running down your cheeks and blinked away the others threatening to fall.

“I’m fine, just don’t -“

“You aren’t fine, (y/n/n). You started screaming for mom and you woke up crying,” Kara said, wearing the Danvers Crinkle just like Alex did.

“It’s nothing I’ve just been having fever dreams since my tonsillectomy about the whole thing,” You shrugged, looking up at the ceiling, not really wanting to look at Kara or Alex.

“Why didn’t you tell us, honey?” Alex sounded really sad, and your stomach churned.

“Because it’s my fault, okay?” You almost snapped at her, but you didn’t, and you were really glad you hadn’t because that was the last thing she deserved.

“What’s your fault?”

“Alex I - I was there, you know that. I waited to long to call you and I should’ve called faster and because I waited to long it just, I couldn’t move, Al - I was panicking and I didn’t know what to do. I’m so sorry, guys. I didn’t mean to,” You sobbed into the soft material of Kara’s sweater and held her hand tightly as Alex shifted on the bed so she could sit in front of you.

“(Y/n y/m/n) Danvers. Listen to me and remember when I tell you that nothing that happened that night was your fault. Absolutely nothing. I know this might not make you feel better, but even if you had called five minutes earlier, mom would have still passed while Kara and I were flying over here. We all knew she was epileptic and if she found out that you’ve been blaming this on yourself, she’d come right down here and kick your ass herself,” Alex took your hand and squeezed it tightly, as her eyes started to water.

“I’m sorry you had to be there when it happened, honey.”

You nodded your head and Kara rubbed your arm.

The three of you were crying, but it was clear your big sisters were trying to keep themselves together for you.

Once you’d all calmed down you felt a little better. Not by much, but you were glad you’d finally told your sisters how you felt.

“Thank you guys. I love you so much,” You smiled sadly.

“We love you too, (y/n/n),” Kara kissed your temple.

“You feel up to finishing that movie, bub?” Alex went back to her seat next to you and put her arm around your waist.

You nodded and chuckled softly.

You were safe. Everything was okay. Even if it was just for a little bit.

[meg91596]

Growing Up Chapter 15 A New Family Member

7 Years Ago:

Amelia woke up getting ready for work however she did have a few cramps going on but thought it was braxton hicks contractions. Because Amelia was not able to drive to work she carpooled with Maggie. Link had already left for the day so he did not get to see her before work. Her day was going pretty good besides the fact that her abdomen was crampy but she figured that the baby was pretty active trying to get ready for his big arrival. But later that morning Amelia went into labor while she was trying to discuss what is going on with Richard. She didn’t want to go but had no choices because the baby boy was going to make his way no matter what. Link wasn’t able to stay long because Richard needed emergency surgery. Bailey and Carina coached Amelia while she had the baby. When Link returned the baby boy was already born.

“He’s beautiful isn’t he?” Amelia asked. “Your both beautiful.” Link said. “So what are we going to name him?” Amelia asked. “I like Scout what about you?” Link asked. “Scout is a cute name but wasn’t Scout a girl in To Kill a Mockingbird?” Amelia asked. “Yes but how could would it be if his name was Scout.” Link said. “I like that but I also like the name Adam.” Amelia said. “How about Scout Adam Shepherd Lincoln?” asked Link. “That’s perfect for our little boy.” Amelia said.

Over the first few months of Scout’s life Amelia and Link spent a lot of time with him and just enjoying their little boy who meant the world to them. However the one thing that bothered them when Scout was 8 months old was the virus that was deadly to infants and elderly. They tried their best to keep him safe. They were lucky to have him. However during this time they also made the mistake of not using protection which lead to another baby. When Scout was 10 months old they found out about the baby. They were thrilled to have another baby. Scout was a good big brother when the baby girl named Annabel was born.

6 months ago:

“Mom why do we need another baby? Eliza is only 7 months old. Why in the world would we add another baby isn’t 5 of us enough?” Scout asked. “Well yes but we love each and everyone one of you and what harm would it be if Eliza had a sibling close to the age of her like you do with Anna.” Link said. “Dad that’s different but don’t you think having 6 kids can be crazy?” Scout said. “Now Scout this is a good thing because after your brother Christopher died I didn’t think that I could even have another baby and not forget about your brother but then you were born and I realized how much Christopher would have loved you.” Amelia said.

Scout had heard the story of Christopher many times but then realized that he is the same age as to what Christopher would have been when Scout was born. He then excepted that another baby isn’t so bad because he can help with the baby. He started to get excited and hoped for another sister because he already had 2 brothers and wanted another sister to spoil like he does for Annabel and Elizabeth. He never understood why he always called Elizabeth Eliza but he supposed it was easier than calling her full name or calling her Beth or Betty.

“Mom I’m sorry but I guess it’s okay for you to have another baby I was just upset about the idea of another sibling, but I’m excited for the baby.” Scout said. “That’s good you ready for another set of twin siblings?” Amelia asked. “NO What no it can’t be.” Scout said. “I’m kidding honey Mommy is only have one baby do you really think Mommy and daddy could handle 7 kids we would need a bigger house.” Amelia said.

Scout knew that it was going to be an interesting time considering that the house is only a 4 bedroom house, and he doesn’t share a room with Jacob or Alex. Link and Amelia couldn’t believe how big their family had become in 7 short years. They loved their babies very much and were thrilled for the last baby to come into the family.

Present Day:

“Scout , Annabel, Jacob, and Alex lets go we are going to be late for school and you know that being late for school is not good.” Amelia said. “Yes mommy besides it is the first day of second grade and Anna’s first day as a First grader.” Scout said. “Don’t remind me there Scout that just makes it harder to realize how old you guys are.” Amelia said. “Momma Poppie.” Eliza said. “Yes I’ll change you sweet girl.” Link said. “Link I got her this time you will get plenty of opportunities with number 6.” Amelia said rubbing her large stomach.

After they dropped off the kids for school, and put Eliza into daycare they went on their day for work. Amelia had several surgeries to do and Link also had many to do as well. Meredith and Maggie were thrilled to plan Eliza’s first birthday party because Link and Amelia were occupied with everything that is going on. At lunch Meredith and Maggie wanted to talk to Amelia and Link about the party but Link only came and had no clue where Amelia was.

“So Link where is Amelia?” Meredith and Maggie asked. “Good question she’s not answering my phone calls, or texts.” Link said. “Are you worried about her?” Meredith said. “Mer she’s 39 ½ weeks pregnant she’s probably just walking as fast as the baby is letting her walk.” LInk said as Amelia started to appear behind him. “Really this again honey.” Amelia asked. “Yes I suppose you did this with Eliza, a year ago.” Link said. “Ya I just hope this one waits a while so that Eliza doesn’t have to miss her birthday party because Mommy and Daddy aren’t AWWW there.” Amelia said. “Amelia are you Okay?” asked Meredith. “AWWW yes just a few craps here and there but not labor.” Amelia said.

Meredith knew something wasn’t right and decided to hold off on Eliza’s party because she had the feeling that the baby was coming and tomorrow was going to be Eliza’s first birthday. Meredith was right because Amelia went into labor that night. Link stayed with her and Maggie took Eliza home and got the others home as well. They had a good night then when Maggie went to get the kids up for school she got a text saying that the baby was almost here and that the children were dismissed from school that day. Scout, and Annabel weren’t happy to miss school especially on the second day but they were going to meet their little brother or sister.

“OWW why doesn’t this one want to come this is the longest labor I have had with all of them.” Amelia said. “I know honey but this one just isn’t for us just yet.” Link said. “AWWWW get Carina I feel like I need to Push.” Amelia yelled.

Link ran but could only find Bailey. Bailey came and helped deliver the baby. Link held his daughter as Carina came in. As Amelia saw and held her daughter she knew just one name that their daughter could only have and that was Elsa Grace Shepherd Lincoln. Scout was happy to see his baby sister and loved her as much as his other siblings. They now had 6 kids and loved each and everyone of their children.

So this is the last Chapter of Growing up because I am starting a sequel to this story and it's going to be a fun story just like this story.

[planetsam]

Alex breaks the second prison and winds up on the wrong end of another alien’s abilities. Fighting on his own is nothing new, neither is fighting his own body. Being trapped there by an alien is. Will he be able to make it back?

Day 7: Futurefic

He wakes up to the riot of Michael’s curls and the sound of his deep, even breathing.

How long 5 minutes turned into, Alex can’t say. Long enough for Michael to fall asleep on top of him. The clock on his nightstand tells him it’s late. But he imagines this is probably the first time Michael has actually slept in however long it’s been since they broke through the prison. He takes in the sight of his room, and of all the small changes. Most notably are the two chairs wedged together besides his bed, a blanket thrown over them. But he can also see there’s a stethoscope and a blood pressure cuff besides his bed, carefully recorded information charted out there. He’s got a new hook in his wall where a bag is dangling and he can see the tubing going into his hand. Kyle has been here too. His fear of people seeing him as weak is dulled by Michael’s steady breathing. He feels it catch against his collar bone and Michael blearily lifts his head.

“Hi,” Alex says, taking in the bruising under Michael’s reddened eyes and the gaunt look on his cheeks. All of which goes away in an instant.

“Hi?” Michael repeats, “Hi?”

His outrage is so welcome and adorable that Alex is hard pressed not to smile. Michael pushes himself up, putting his hands on either side of his shoulders. Alex hasn’t been so hungry, horny and in need of a shower in a very, very long time. The last time he was like this though, Guerin was just a memory, not a warm weight pressing on his hips and glaring down at him. Actually—Alex fails to contain the smile on his lips. Which only makes the outrage on Michael’s face even more adorable.

“What the hell are you smiling about?” He demands.

“The last time I woke up feeling like this, the thought of you seeing me so weak was terrifying,” he says.

Michael scowls and whatever knot is left in Alex’s chest unravels.

“Don’t try to ‘cute’ your way out of this,” he says, “shower or food?”

“Shower,” Alex says.

Showering is almost orgasmic. He isn’t surprised to find he doesn’t smell to high heaven and his facial hair is well tended to. He’s very aware that the only needs Michael ignores are his own. He puts on his prosthetic, knowing his leg could use the exercise. Walking isn’t as bad as it could be, but he still takes the cane as insurance. When he comes out Michael is re-heating burgers and fries he recognizes as being from the Crashdown Cafe. There’s something even more endearing about the knowledge that he’s watching an alien reheat Crashdown burgers and Futuristic Fries. Michael puts one in front of him and takes the other, also getting two beers Alex knows he didn’t buy before he went off with Kyle.

“I found your grocery list,” Michael says, “I sent Valenti out for it.”

“How did you find that?”

“It was on the fridge,” Michael says, “alien magnet was a nice touch.”

Alex blushes.

“I had that before I knew.”

The burger is so good he almost moans. Almost. Michael watches him carefully like he’s not going to finish his food unsupervised. Alex eats everything and steals a few fries off of Michael’s plate. Which Michael lets happen and that, more than anything else, tells Alex how concerned he was. Basic needs met, Alex looks at Michael who finishes his burger silently. He supposes this talk was inevitable, one way or another.

“Thank you for taking care of me,” he says.

“You’re welcome,” Michael replies. Alex dips his head.

“Michael—“

“No,” Michael cuts him off, “it’s my turn,” he says, “and I am either going to talk or not talk and you are just going to have to deal with it,” he snaps. Alex reminds himself that he just scared the shit out of Michael and forces himself to nod. He expects Michael to ask him what the hell he was thinking but Michael just looks at him, “you are not a bad person.”

Alex doesn’t know why he thought that what happened while he was dreaming would be off limits. He immediately feels like an idiot for thinking that.

“Guerin—“

“I’m not done!” Michael says, “you are not a bad person,” he repeats. Alex shifts, “you’re tangled up with a lot of fucked up shit in my head, if anyone gets to call you a bad person it’s me. And I’m telling you you’re not,” he leans across the table, “you’re a lot of things I’m not a huge fan of at the moment but you’re not bad.”

“What things?” Alex asks before he can stop himself. He can chalk it up to morbid curiosity.

“You’re a stubborn dick,” Michael says, “with a way too vivid imagination and a really fucking inconvenient need to prove himself,” he says, “you apparently read whatever that new Harry Potter thing is and also my alternate clone self apparently thinks you’re a ‘cool dude’,” Alex almost smiles at that, “you make all these faces when you sleep and sometimes you snore. Loudly,” Alex looks down, “and you scared the shit out of me. What if you hadn’t woken up? You know how many nights I laid awake sure you died fighting your dad’s war? What if instead you died fighting mine?”

Alex’s mouth goes dry at the challenge but he refuses to back down. Instead he leans forward.

“This isn’t just your fight,” he says.

“Well it sure as hell felt like it this past week!”

“Not for me,” Alex says.

“What?!”

Michael doesn’t even stop the tone of his voice but the question flares in his eyes. Alex relaxes back in his chair. He remembers the other Michael’s and Isobel’s words. He remembers the odd mix of dreams and memories that seemed to occur the past week and how he slipped in and out of being trapped in his head and in Michael’s care. Mostly he thinks about the moments before all of this happened and how his last thought was about all the stuff he wanted to tell Michael but didn’t get the chance to.

“You know when you rushed my dad, it was one of the bravest things I ever saw,” he says, “one of the things that always haunted me was if we had taken him together, could we have stopped him? Ever since then I’ve wanted to be someone who could win battles, who was brave, but I forgot the other part,” he says, “I was aware this week. On and off. I felt you taking care of me.”

“You did?” Michael says, unsure.

“Yes,” Alex says, “and I hated having to be taken care of,” he continues, “but I didn’t hate that it was you doing it,” he can still see Michael’s unease, “but I’m sorry I worried you,” he looks at him, “and thank you for coming to get me.”

Michael blushes and looks down. Michael being in his dream is not exactly something Alex ever thought they would have to deal with. Then again, a lot of what they have had to deal with in their relationship isn’t something he thought would come up. From the alien thing to the fact that he’s still in love with high school sweetheart. Loving each other has never been their problem though. It’s everything else and Alex has never wanted to change it so badly. Ignoring the cane, he gets up and walks around the table to where Michael is sitting, taking the chair next to him instead of across from him. Risking it he reaches out and takes Michael’s hand.

“I want to tell you about the rest of what happened,” he says, “is that okay?”

Michael looks at him and Alex isn’t sure what he is going to do. He tells himself he will be fine either way. But then Michael squeezes his hand and turns to face him so their knees are bumping together. It occurs to Alex not for the first time that waking up next to him for all the mornings he wakes up would be nice. But that, he supposes, is a conversation for a different time. Instead he focuses on their knees bumping together and the fact that he wants to include Michael in this battle so badly. Possibly for the first time since they were in school. And for the first time, they seem to be on the same page. Michael reaches out and he takes his other hand.

“Alright, tell me,” he says.

[belphegor1982]

All aboard for chapter 5! Last chance for a breather before Plot strikes :3

FAIRY TALES AND HOKUM

Summary: 1937: The O'Connells are required by the English Government to bring the Diamond taken from Ahm Shere from Cairo to London. Things get interesting when Jonathan bumps by chance into an old friend of his from Oxford, Tom Ferguson…

Chapter 5: At the Bazaar (on AO3 here)

The next couple of days were surprisingly uneventful, by the O’Connell standards in any case. Rick had quickly got over his initial fury, mollified by the absence of notable events – apart from the actual theft of the diamond, and the fact that his brother-in-law avoided going out on nights for two days. That surprised Rick to no end, although, come to think of it, Jonathan really didn’t seem up to it. The man did look like he had been visited by the mother of all hangovers, although Rick knew that wasn’t the case. For once.

But of course, the real reason why his anger had died down so fast was Evelyn. The look on her face when she had gone to bed that night was something he had never seen before: sadness, and defeat. Evy never let herself be overcome by defeat, never. That had made him wonder silently as she slipped into their bed, not saying a word either. And it was the first thought that sneaked back into his mind when he woke up the morning after.

“Honey? You awake?”

She slept with her back to him after huddling against his chest during the night. Although this felt very comfortable, Rick always preferred it when she faced him, so he could watch her as she dreamed, and the funny faces she made then. It was also because of those little things, which he couldn’t live without, that Rick never regretted marrying her.

There were some other things that he found he definitely could do without, though. Like her misguided, so very annoying sense of responsibility – if she could take the blame for every damn mummy rising in Egypt or elsewhere, she would do it. She would always try to set things right no matter what the potential for catastrophe.

But she also had a way of making him feel like a complete heel every time he didn’t agree with her on something that was important to her. As long as it wasn’t life-threatening, that was okay, but right now, he was feeling downright miserable because of the way his wife had looked before she went to bed. And despite the fact that he was still certain that the idea of staying longer in Egypt was the worst since opening the chest with the Bracelet of Anubis, he was well aware that there was nothing he wouldn’t do to make Evy smile again.

His whisper was answered by a stir of the lovely round shoulders in front of him, and a muffled, sleepy voice, “Yes, dear… I’m awake.”

He put a tender hand on her shoulder, and planted a few small kisses on the back of her neck. “Evelyn – look, I’m sorry about yesterday.” Even after all these years, even to her, he still had some trouble apologising. And she knew it. He heard a slight change in her breathing. “I didn’t mean what I said. I mean, I meant it then, but I didn’t mean to mean it – I was just angry, and worried, is all.”

Evy turned slightly, and he could partly see her face over her shoulder. Her eyes were shining in the half-light of the rising sun behind the shutters.

“I know you were worried. We’ve already gone through that before. But that doesn’t excuse your words, Rick. And it certainly doesn’t solve the problem.”

“Which problem are we talking about, exactly?” So many problems had appeared with the disappearance of that diamond, he didn’t know which one to pick.

“You told me very clearly that you wouldn’t be part of anything, this time. That I can understand. But –”

“No, please – the real problem is that I don’t want to get involved in this, but you do, quite obviously. And there’s another problem: each time you get involved in something when you shouldn’t, something happens and you’re caught right in the middle of it. That is what I don’t want to happen.”

To his amazement, Evy let out a little laugh, which shook her shoulders slightly. She rolled on her back and looked at him from the corner of her eye.

“What’s so funny?”

“You. Jonathan said pretty much the same thing yesterday, almost to the word – that he didn’t want to get ‘involved’, but that I clearly did. And he was very upset about that last part – even angry, I’d say.”

“That shows your brother’s making sense. For once, I completely agree with him.” And that was saying something considering the number of things they disagreed on. “By the way… I didn’t have time to ask yesterday – is he okay?”

This time, Evelyn turned to him, and he could see her entire face. It was a welcome sight, especially given the fact that she was still smiling slightly.

“He will be. But he had me thoroughly afraid for a little while.” Her smile vanished, and she gazed into the space in front of her. When she looked back at him, her eyes were serious. “Believe me, darling, I’m not doing it for… for thrills or some misplaced notion of fun. The Bracelet, the Sceptre – every object linked to Ahm Shere caused pain to the world, and to us in particular, and I have a feeling that this diamond might not be an exception to the rule. I want to see it safe, because I want to see you safe. You, Alex, Jonathan – you’re my only family, and I can’t bear to think about any of you getting hurt.”

Rick listened silently. Voiced that way, her motives made complete sense. His fury of yesterday had been fuelled by the fear he had of losing Evy or Alex again, and the need he felt to protect his family. Evy had had exactly the same reaction, only taking different decisions, in her own true way. And while such decisions were annoying as hell, they were also understandable.

“That’s very thoughtful of you, sweetheart, I appreciate that,” he sighed with a smile to signal his surrender. “But I’d like to point out to you that you were the one who died last time. So allow me to feel a little unsure about all this.”

Her eyes grew sadder, and she snuggled against him. He held her back, taking the opportunity to caress the soft skin of her arms, immensely glad that the fight was over.

“So… does that mean you will still be with me?”

“Frankly, Evy –” Rick slightly shook his head, incredulous. “I can’t believe you are asking me that. Of course I will – I always will. That’s what this ring stands for, doesn’t it? I love you, and I’ll always be with you… Even if that means putting up with your – what’d Jonathan say the other day? Those Englishmen, they do have a knack for understatements… ‘idiosyncrasies.’ Yeah, that’s it.”

He grinned at her, and she gave a broad smile. Their faces were so close that their foreheads were almost touching. From there he could look properly at her features and her bright eyes, count the few freckles on her nose, and see the small lines that had begun to creep at the corners of her eyes. Rick found himself liking those lines. Each one meant something they had gone through together, a moment they had lived together, a laugh or a worry they had shared. And he didn’t mind lines on his own face, as long as they mirrored his wife’s. He wanted to live with her, and that also meant growing old with her.

And it really couldn’t hurt if she was still kissing like that in twenty years, he thought as their lips touched.

Mmh… Definitely not.

.⅋.

“You really have no idea what you’ll give Mum for her birthday, have you?”

Alex stopped in his tracks and squinted up at his uncle with a frown. Even at this hour in the morning, the sunlight made his eyes ache slightly whenever he looked up from his shoes.

Uncle Jon squinted back, his eyes reduced to a pair of blue slits. “I’ll have you know that I’ve been thoroughly looking for a gift for quite some time. Really. I just seem to be unable to find the perfect present, that’s all.”

Alex waited, feeling that something was still to come.

“Having said that, I remain open to suggestions.”

“I knew it.” Alex rolled his eyes. “You don’t have a clue.”

“I do!” retorted Jonathan indignantly.

“You don’t.”

“I do, too!”

“You don’t!”

“I do!”

“You don’t!”

“I do!”

“You don’t!”

“I don’t!”

“You do!” Alex closed his mouth with a snap just after uttering the last syllable, realising that he’d been had. He glared at his uncle, who was chuckling discreetly.

“That wasn’t playing fair, Uncle Jon.”

“You’re right, partner,” Jonathan said with a laugh. “Next time I’ll be more of a sport.”

Alex nodded his approval seriously, and straightened the solar topee1 on his head, wishing that it was not so big. The thing kept sliding off, and it was really annoying. It was nine in the morning, and uncle and nephew had sneaked out to the bazaar, leaving a note to Mum and Dad on the kitchen table. His parents had not come out of their room yet. Uncle Jon had said something about the two of them still having some making up to do, and as Alex realised that it would involve a lot of kissing, hugging and other dubious stuff, he’d been more than happy to go outside and help his uncle find a fitting present for Mum.

They had just arrived at the bazaar: a large esplanade a little outside the centre of the city with ground of hard-packed earth, where quite a number of tents had been pitched, some more crookedly than others. Behind many, always nearby, the owners’ mules or camels were peacefully chewing on what they could; those who could afford a shaded spot for their beasts, let alone some extra fresh food, were lucky and rare.

Alex always liked bazaars, Cairo’s bazaar in particular, with its bright colours, strong smells, loud noises, and never-ending movements. The robes of men in coloured djellabas and women with stern eyes brushed past him as he let his eyes wander endlessly, reminding him of his dislike of still walking at armpit-level. But that familiar feeling didn’t alter the pleasure of being there. There was so much to see at once, and hear, and feel.

“Want some sound advice, Alex?” said Uncle Jon, his long hand clutching his nephew’s. “Keep an eye out for hustlers. There are so many unscrupulous characters in this world, you may not know them before they swindle you, you mark my words.”

The boy refrained from observing slyly that there had been some times when his uncle had not shown many qualms over a few shady deeds of his own – after all, Jonathan had been the one who had taught Alex how to open a door without a key, something Mum never needed to know – and tightened his hand around the few English coins he had in the pocket of his shorts. It wasn’t much, but it was his, and Mum wouldn’t like it if he lost his money.

“Here – what d’you think of those?” Jonathan was pointing to a display of golden trinkets of faux Ancient Egyptian style. Alex shook his head.

“That’s a knockoff, Uncle Jon. She won’t like it.”

“I know this one’s fake, I mean this sort of style could do the trick,” grumbled Jonathan, obviously offended that his own nephew didn’t believe him capable of telling a false treasure from a genuine one. Alex was perfectly aware of his uncle’s knowledge when it came to gold. But it was fun to tease him. He fell for it every time, just like Mum when Dad teased her.

“Why don’t you buy her a dress or something? She did like the last one you gave her.”

Jonathan shrugged. “Your dad’s already offering her a new set of ‘adventurer’s’ clothes, the kind she likes to wear here, with trousers and stuff.”

Alex smirked.

“Don’t you like it when she wears trousers then?”

A non-committal noise accompanied a second shrug.

“It’s not that I don’t like it. I happen to find it rather distasteful, but as long as she’s comfortable… Evy’s always been pigheaded when it came to her appearance. Have you seen pictures of her before she met your dad?”

Oh, yes he had. It was hard to think that his mum had once looked like that, a young girl with old-fashioned clothes, little round glasses, a tight bun, and such a bossy air about her. She still used glasses to read, but much thinner than they had been, and she let her hair down most of the time. And the skirts she wore now were nothing like the long, stiff-looking ones she used to wear.

“Yeah. She looked like Mrs Blimp – sorry, Mrs Blinppiditch, my old teacher.”

“I suppose that’s saying a lot.” It was Jonathan’s turn to smirk. “What I mean is that your mum doesn’t care a jot about clothes and whatnot, and it’s always been like that. She wouldn’t hear a single word about it. When you were on your way – not born yet – Rick and I talked her into wearing light dresses, and I think your dad enjoyed that a lot. But as soon as she was back in Egypt with her hammers and chisels, she found out that trousers were more practical than dresses and skirts. Which is, I’m sure, not untrue.”

Alex, who only wore long trousers on Sundays and important occasions, did not fully agree with him. Shorts were indeed quite handy here in Egypt, more so than longer ones; if he wanted to climb up a wall or a tree, his mum would surely be more inclined to punish him if any harm came to the precious trousers. He preferred by far her fussing over a pair of scraped knees than ruined trouser legs.

Then again, the thought of his mum in short trousers made him cringe inwardly. What would the lads say, at school? They always said that his mum was quite pretty – as much for a girl as for a mum – but some already sniggered when she came to get him at the gates, after school, and fussed over him like he was still a little kid. This sort of thing could ruin a lad’s reputation if he was not careful. Of course he was glad whenever he saw her, especially after what happened at Ahm Shere, but… sometimes he wished she could just leave him alone.

Problem was, this kind of thinking often bothered him. You couldn’t go thinking that way about your mum, could you?

“What’s so nice about dresses, then?”

“Don’t ask me. I haven’t been in a dress since that panto2 in sixth form and you won’t get me to remember that disaster as long as I live.”

Alex chuckled. “I’ll ask Ardeth Bay, then. He’s the only guy I know who wears something close enough.”

“Now look here, you –” Uncle Jon looked as if he wanted to scold him, but couldn’t quite do it because of the smile he was trying to hide. He did that very often. “Don’t go joking about Medjai clothes, especially around him. They can be a little touchy about some stuff. And besides, if someone deserves respect, it’s him. The number of times that bloke saved our necks…”

“I didn’t mean to be disrespectful, honest!” said Alex, who had had a great admiration for the Medjai chieftain ever since he first saw him, years and years ago on his first trip to Egypt. Even if the man’s sense of humour seemed to appear just as often as Uncle Jon’s conscience did. “And don’t worry, I’m not daft enough to joke about that in front of him.”

“I believe the Western phrase for this sort of situation is, ‘Speak of the devil’…” said a quiet voice with an Eastern lilt somewhere near Jonathan. Alex’s uncle gave a start and turned wide eyes at the dark-clad shadow who had seemed to appear out of thin air just beside him. Ardeth Bay was standing there, wearing a dark brown cloak over his black and silver Medjai robes. His bright eyes were smiling as he lowered his hood.

“I say,” stammered Jonathan, one hand clutching his heart, “it’s jolly good to see you, Ardeth, old boy, but I’m getting a mite old for this sort of scare. How’s the family?”

“A pleasure to see you too, my friend.” Ardeth laughed quietly, shaking Uncle Jon’s hand as colour crept back up to the latter’s face. “They’re very well, thank you for asking. Imeni still worries that Maira is too serious for her age, and Sabni now insists on following his sister everywhere, even when he shouldn’t3.”

“Don’t I know the feeling,” said Jonathan fervently. Ardeth smiled at that, then gave a nod to Alex. The boy could have sworn that the dark eyes were twinkling.

“Good morning, Alex O’Connell. Don’t worry about offending me with jokes, I know you have good intentions. And a little humour at times cannot hurt.”

Okay. Point taken. It wasn’t the first time Alex thought the strange man could read minds.

“Hi, Ardeth,” he said with a grin, looking up and trying not to squint too much. Bloody light. “You’re here for the diamond, aren’t you?”

Ardeth raised his black eyebrows. “I see that the habit of getting straight to the point has passed on to the next generation in the O’Connell family.” Alex felt his cheeks grow warmer in spite of himself. If there was a person in the world who could, with a single glance, put him in his place, make sure he stayed there for a couple of seconds, and manage to not make him feel rotten in the meanwhile, it was this man. He sure was imposing enough for it.

“Yes, I am indeed heading for the museum. Dr Hakim sent for me, and I set off as soon as I received the message.”

“That was pretty fast,” commented Jonathan with a low whistle as they walked a little away from the crowd of the bazaar. Ardeth nodded.

“In times of need, I have Neith to help me.”

Something dawned on Alex’s uncle’s face. “Oh – like Horus?”

“C’mon, Uncle Jon, Neith’s nothing to do with Horus in Egyptian Mythology!” Alex protested, unwilling to believe that Jonathan had forgotten that part. He had spent whole nights talking about Egyptian legends with his uncle when he couldn’t sleep.

“You are mistaken, young O’Connell,” said Ardeth. “Your uncle was speaking of a falcon friend of mine who once was of great help to me, sending word to the Twelve Tribes before the Rising of the Army of Anubis two years ago. I was quite grieved when he was killed over the Oasis of Ahm Shere.”

“Oh – sorry.” Alex felt uncomfortable. Not just because of his mistake, but also because of something that had seemed, for a split second, to cloud over the bright eyes. Even if all had been set up ages before it happened, as his mum had told him, it still seemed that a lot of people had got hurt as a direct consequence of his putting on the Bracelet. ‘No harm ever came from putting on a bracelet’, his mum would say, according to Dad. Well, it had seemed like a good idea at the time.

“No harm done, Alexander,” said Ardeth, and Alex was somewhat relieved to see that his eyes were still smiling. Even though he still didn’t like it at all when people called him by his full name, even if it was Ardeth, who always called Mum ‘Evelyn’, not ‘Evy’ like Dad and his uncle Jon. “Neith is indeed a falcon; she’s fast, and quite clever, which is why Fahad sends her for long distance messages. And he’s explained everything that happened the day before yesterday.”

Alex saw the dark eyes flicker to the light bandage that showed slightly under Jonathan’s hat. Mum had insisted that he wore it till tonight, and he had reluctantly conceded.

“Are you all right?”

“Yes, yes, head hard as a rock – blighter banged with all his might, though. Thanks for the concern,” Jonathan said with a smile. Then he winced. “Blast it, now I think of it… As my ever so subtle brother-in-law once put it, ‘You’re here, bad guys are here’… There’s all this ominous doom and gloom going on with that blasted diamond… All we need now is Evy getting kidnapped, God forbid –”

“And another raising of the Creature happens?” ended Ardeth, one black eyebrow raised. The thought of someone’s sense of humour going on a holiday crossed Alex’s mind, and he clung to this idea to avoid thinking about the cold, empty eyes of Imhotep. “Hamunaptra has remained quiet ever since Hafez’s men stopped digging. We found the Book of the Living there, and we keep it under close watch, night and day. As for the Creature itself… Lucky would be the one who could manage to find its body under the sands of Ahm Shere. Besides, according to what Evelyn and O’Connell told me, it’s very unlikely that he would even be willing to be raised a third time. His love abandoned him.”

“You know, I still can’t believe how hurt he looked back then,” Uncle Jon said, looking thoughtful. “I actually felt sorry for the bloke, despite the whole Evil Mummy Enemy thing and everything he’d done. If he still had a heart at that point, I bet we all could’ve heard it shatter into little pieces.”

“Despite all the ancient resentment of my people against the Creature, I probably would have felt pity for him as well, had I been there,” Ardeth said, not departing from his quiet smile. “Feeling pity for an enemy can be thought of as a weakness by some, but it is one of our prerogatives as human beings.”

For all the respect he had for the serious Medjai leader, Alex could not understand this knack of his for long, intricate sentences that sounded like riddles. And it was a little bit frustrating to never be sure whether these were riddles or not. The only sign was the grin Ardeth would give afterwards, brief but always striking with a flash of white teeth against skin the colour of light coffee.

The grin came, although slightly subdued. “Nothing has been decided yet, so you do not have to worry,” said the Medjai, before looking intently at Jonathan and Alex in turn. “All I ask from you and your family is to keep yourselves out of this as much as possible. I don’t doubt that you would only be trying to help, but I don’t think that it would be a good idea, much as I value your aid and your friendship.”

“Tell that to Mum,” muttered Alex, shuffling on a little patch of earth. Ardeth’s eyes flashed to him.

“Your mother is known as a person who’ll do whatever she thinks is right,” he said seriously, “and even if that has led her into trouble many a time, it is still something to respect.” Then the hint of a smile flickered over his face. “Although I must say that, despite all her good intentions, Evelyn O’Connell is also known for her stubbornness and her tendency of getting where she shouldn’t.”

“Amen to that, my friend!” Uncle Jon said with a wide grin, his blue eyes twinkling. “You seldom spoke a truer truth.”

The three of them shared a knowing smile. Then Ardeth looked around, before replacing the hood of his brown cloak over his head. His eyes, almost hidden in shadow, came to rest on Jonathan, and Alex in turn.

“Be sure to send my regards to Evelyn and O’Connell,” he said. “I don���t know whether I will be able to greet them myself.”

“Oh, come on, old chap, you’re always welcome to drop by anytime,” protested Uncle Jon heartily.

“Yeah,” added Alex. “It’d be smashing if you could come over some time. Really spiffing.”

Ardeth raised an eyebrow. “I suppose that means you’d be happy to see me?”

Alex chose to take that seriously. “Of course, honestly –” The crooked grin told him that someone’s sense of humour was back from holiday. Ardeth’s quiet chuckle echoed his.

“I may be seeing you in the future, then. Till then, good day.”

And he was gone. Only one second, and he had vanished into the crowd, his cloak blending perfectly.

“Do you know,” Jonathan said, squinting in the sun before lowering his eyes to his nephew, “I think Ardeth might enjoy being the dark and mysterious figure a little too much for his own good.”

“Probably,” answered Alex, as he felt a grin pull at the corner of his mouth. “But he does a damn great job of it. So who cares?”

This earned him a small laugh from his uncle Jon, who grinned down. “Let it be remembered that you were the voice of reason on this one, son.”

They were both laughing as they returned to the crowd of the bazaar. However, after a little while spent at looking at tents where they sold elaborate tea sets, hookahs, and loads of other jewellery, they had returned to arguing about Alex’s mum’s birthday.

“I’m just saying that you’re being entirely too negative about all this – there, look, maybe a good book will do nicely!”

They had just come across a display of a few old-looking books, and Alex had to admit that Jonathan was right. His mum loved books, especially old ones, and among these old ones she was mad about everything that had anything to do with Egypt.

They made for the table where the books lay, but Alex was growing more and more sceptical about it. There were few books he knew of which Mum didn’t have already. Still, it might be worth a try.

However, his hopes slowly dwindled as the two browsed the titles on the tattered covers, recognising most of the books for having seen them somewhere, either in the mansion – as Alex liked to call it – or their smaller house in Cairo.

“Tough luck,” sighed Uncle Jon as he put down yet another book, this one with the words Cult of Cats in the XIIth Dynasty embossed in gold on the cover. “Seems that my dear sister owns every damn book out there about Egypt…”

“Jon? ‘That you?”

Jonathan turned, and Alex peered around his uncle to see Tom Ferguson standing near the table, a smile on his broad face.

“Hullo, Tommy,” said Jonathan, looking equally pleased. “Looking for something in particular?”

“Nah, not really.” Tom shook his head, sandy hair falling into his eyes. “I come to this tent every day to see if there’s somethin’ new out – I told you the other day I just have this thing for old books.” He leant over the table to greet the owner of the tent, who seemed to know him; they exchanged a few words in Arabic, which Alex didn’t catch all of, although he did understand that Tom was asking for new acquisitions. He got a negative answer, and nodded his thanks, looking disappointed; then he turned back to Jonathan.

“Too bad… Been a couple of days since they got something new. What about you? What’re you doing here?”

“Playing at knight of the Quest for the Ultimate Birthday Present,” deadpanned Uncle Jon despondently, making his nephew chortle. “Evy’s birthday’s in three weeks, and I still haven’t got anything to give her.”

“Starting to get a little panicked there, are ya?” Tom gave a laugh. “I know the feeling. You should see the rush I get into every year when it’s Liz’s birthday.”

“Is Liz your sister then?” asked Alex. If it was, then he was definitely not keen on having a little sibling some day. He had enough trouble managing to scrape together for presents for three people at Christmases and birthdays.

Tom smiled. “No, Elizabeth’s me wife.”

“Ah – sorry, my mistake.” But that didn’t make Alex change his mind about little siblings.

“Oh, before I forget!” exclaimed Tommy, switching subjects with an easiness that made Alex wonder. “Good thing I bumped into you now, ‘cause Hamilton’d like to see you about what happened the day before yesterday – for the report, you know. I was going to send you a telegram, but since you’re here… Tomorrow at four.”

“Hamilton? Your boss?” Jonathan frowned. “Why’s that? Isn’t your report enough?”

Tommy shrugged. “That’s the rule of the Department – gather information from as many sources as possible. You must’ve noticed that with the file I lent you… My superiors are maniacs whenever rules are concerned.”

There was a short silence, then Tommy gave a nod toward Jonathan’s head, and asked rather uncomfortably, “Speaking of the other day… Does it still hurt?”

Jonathan rolled his eyes. “What are you people making such a fuss for, honestly? I got coshed on the head, so what? I’m quite all right, thank you.” Then he stopped, and looked at Tommy, something softening on his face. “What about you?”

“Oh, I’m fine,” said Tommy with a wave of his hand. “For once I got lucky – you got the short end of the stick.” He was silent for a second, and Alex found that he could relate to the guy’s hesitation. He always felt slightly uneasy himself when dealing with concern for someone that wasn’t his mum. It was so much easier to be Mum’s little boy than a big, tough guy, even if it was more embarrassing… Of course, being Dad’s big guy had its advantages. Then again, Dad hadn’t been a mum’s little boy for very long. That was something Alex just couldn’t imagine, a boy without a mum.

At least, he had never come to imagine it before the events at Ahm Shere two years ago. Afterwards, he’d wondered sometimes what his life would’ve been without his mum, and he had always kept this train of thought brief. As Ardeth had said at some point, while the memories of the past were a precious thing, it did a man no good to dwell upon them. Yes, it had to be something along those lines.

“Not to insist or anything, but – I’m serious, mate, you really got me scared back there. When I came round, I saw your sister bent over you, your head was bleedin’… Believe me, you looked dead.”

For once, Alex was glad he was not eye-level with the adults. It would have been difficult not to look too conspicuous as he felt his cheeks lose their colour and his stomach do a somersault. While worry for Mum and Dad when they ventured into those creepy pyramids full of traps had become such a familiar feeling that he was almost used to it, he had never had an opportunity to think that someday, his uncle might not be there. Well, not quite: for a few seconds, down in the pyramid, he’d feared that his mum would be too late to stop that witch Anck-su-namun as her arm came down to stab Jonathan. It would’ve been awful if his uncle died just as his mum came back. As that old but funny Irish bloke4 had once said, losing one family member was a tragedy. Losing two was carelessness.

Jonathan looked slightly uncomfortable for a second, then his old grin was back on his face as he quipped, “Well, considering Evy’s propensity to wake the dead, I wouldn’t have stayed that way for long, would I? Besides, I can recall some occurrences when the two of us ended looking more dead than alive. Let me think, there was this incident with the girls’ college…”

Puzzled but highly interested, Alex looked from Uncle Jon to Tommy, whose brown eyes, which had seemed a little dimmed during these last minutes, lit up suddenly. “Oh, yeah, I remember. I reckon I was the one to blame for this… But you chatted up the wrong girl in the King’s Arms, and we ended up having to hide in that cellar for two days after that.”

All right. This was getting more and more interesting, and Alex made a mental note to ask his uncle about it later. He also wondered briefly at Jonathan’s disconcerting ability for changing subjects. All trace of uneasiness had disappeared, and the two men wore an identical grin on their faces.

“Well, it’s good to see you’re all right – and that this blow on your head didn’t erase fond school memories,” said Tommy with a lopsided smile that Uncle Jon returned. “I do hope that nobody’s getting hurt next time we’re in the same room, though.”

Alex couldn’t help but grin. That was something Mum used to say – with a slight variation – the first few times she left him in Jonathan’s care for an entire evening. She seemed to think that, as soon as she left them together without her to watch over, disaster would swoop down on the house faster than you could say ‘catastrophe’. ‘And I hope that nobody will be hurt next time I enter the room!’ How many times had he heard it?

“And it’s equally good to see that your skull is as hard as it once was,” retorted Jonathan in the same tone of voice. “So – tomorrow at four, then?”

“Yeah, at my office. And don’t be late!” Tommy said in a mock stern tone, pointing a warning finger at him. “Hamilton can be moderately pleasant when he wants to, but he has a thing for punctuality, and you don’t want to be near him when he’s in a bad mood.”

“I’ll keep that in mind, don’t worry.”

“See ya, then!”

“Cheers!”

Tommy shook Uncle Jon’s hand, gently clapped Alex’s shoulder and left with a last grin. Unlike Ardeth, who had seemed to merge into the landscape in the twinkling of an eye, it was a little while before his broad frame disappeared from sight.

“Uncle Jon…” said Alex after a few seconds as a thought crossed his mind. “What did happen at that girls’ college?”

Blue eyes looked down at him, twinkling. “I do think that if I ever told you, and your dad happened to hear about it, he’d kill me on the spot and put my head in a frame on the wall.”

Alex was silent for a moment, long enough to get the mental picture right; then he grinned up at Jonathan. “And what about this – ‘incident’ in the King’s Arms? You could tell me about that, couldn’t you?”

Jonathan scratched the back of his neck before grinning sheepishly. “If I did, then your dad would have to dig me up, so that he would kill me again. Oh, and I’m sure your mum would give him a hand.”

Whoa. It sounded definitely worth it. “That bad, eh?”

“Maybe when you’re a little older. Just a little.” It really had to be serious, because Alex knew that his uncle was aware of his dislike for such excuses. To his credit, he didn’t use them very often.

“But you will tell me some day, right, Uncle Jon?” he asked earnestly. Jonathan grinned.

“Right-ho, partner. Promise I will. Now let’s get a present for your mum, shall we?”

Happy to have his uncle’s promise, Alex followed him into the coloured crowd of robes and suits, still clinging to his hand.

Not a piece of jewellery, not a dress, not a book… Maybe a camel would do the trick, after all.

.⅋.

1aka. a pith helmet.

2Pantomine – a play where every male character is played by a woman, and vice versa. I actually did one about Snow White when I studied English in uni. I played a stoner version of either Sleepy or Sneezy. It was hilarious and I had a great time.

3We don’t know much about Medjai naming traditions, do we? The only one we have is Ardeth, which comes from Hebrew and is traditionally a female name. I ended up giving the Medjai both Egyptian and Ancient Egyptian first names.

4That’s Oscar Wilde, in The Importance of Being Earnest: “To lose one parent, Mr. Worthing, may be regarded as a misfortune; to lose both looks like carelessness.”

(hoping the HTML footnotes work... EDIT: well, they don’t, but at least they tell the potential reader there’s a footnote. *shrug* Ah well.)

[mrsluthordanvers]

Field trip

Lena and Kara have been dating awhile. Lena knows Kara is Supergirl, but feels like she’s hiding something when she disappear every third Saturday. So, one day she confronted her about it. Kara gives a look and tells her to dress warm. Then, Kara fly’s them to the Fortress of Solitude.

I really really hope you like this!!

Two times doesn’t make a pattern, Lena knows, but it doesn’t stop her all consuming curiosity. More then one afternoon has already passed sitting at her desk, chewing on the end of her pen wondering where Kara felt the need to sneak off too once a month.

Four more months had passed and Lena had to admit that Kara had improved at slipping out of their bed un-noticed but this morning was not one of them. She woke when Kara brushed her lips against her forehead before going in search of her suit, muttering when she couldn’t find it right away, hidden away in the dryer when Lena did laundry after Kara fell asleep the night before.

Now she pulled herself to sit up, leaning her chest against her knees as she wrapped her arms around them, blinking the sleep from her eyes as she waited for Kara to step out of the closet.

“Where are you going?” Lena winced at the crack in her voice, still rusty from sleep.

Kara stood for a moment, head titled, as she took in her girlfriend wrapped up in white sheets, skin visible in spots where it bunched up and fell away. Her lips twitching at the sight of messy waves, and sleepy green eyes, still bright and shining as they watched her.

“Do you want to come with me?”

Lena lifted an eyebrow at the offer, still waiting for her own answer. When none came she slowly nodded, removing herself from their bed and stepping into Kara’s embrace as she shivered at the cold air.

“I’ll get coffee, dress warm.”

Finding the warmest clothes she owned, Lena made her way into the kitchen taking in the scent of coffee and donuts from her favourite cafe. Lena wrapped both hands around the paper cup Kara held out to her and crowded into Kara’s front as she closed her eyes and hummed in appreciation of the first sip. The warmth running through her body before she opened her eyes again, noticing for the first time the high end, knee length, feather filled jacket that sat hung off a chair at the kitchen island.

“You know the last time I wore a coat like that, I was checking in on an L-Corp project in the arctic.”

“It’s Alex’s. She said you could borrow it, I didn’t know you had one.”

“I don’t anymore. I think I donated it after the project finished.” Lena turned to Kara, “That’s DEO issued. Why does Alex need a DEO issued coat for the Arctic?”

“Ummm…” Kara moved to adjust her glasses, remembering she was in her suit and they were tucked away on her beside table.

“Right.” Lena nodded looking over her clothes a second time to make sure she really would be warm enough before layering on the coat and pulling up the hood as she made a face at Kara from under the fur trim. Laughing Kara pulled it down over Lena’s face receiving a surprised squeak that quickly turned into a gasp as she realized Kara used the distraction to fly them above National City.

“I hate flying.” Lena choked as she burrowed her face back into Kara’s chest.

“I know. I got you.”

When Kara’s feet hit the ground again, Lena let out the breath she didn’t know she was holding. Instantly noticing the white cloud in front of her face seconds before the rapid temperature change as Kara set her down and moved away to pick up a giant yellow brick with the same insignia on it as Kara’s chest. Slotting it into a marked stone panel on the side of the mountain.

“Tad obvious isn’t it?” Lena teased as she clapped her hands together, thankful for the mittens she had found stored in the pockets.

“It’s made of dwarf star, only Kal and I can lift it.” Kara shrugged casually as the door opened and she dropped the key back into a pile of snow and let Lena lead the way into the ice cavern that opened before them.

“The fortress of solitude.” Lena breathed as she stood staring up at the never ending ceiling above them.

“You know?”

“I mean, I’d heard… but I try not to base the facts I know about Superman off the ravings of a mad man.”

The response wasn’t bitter, but Kara still wrapped an arm around Lena’s waist in comfort before tugging her further inside.

“Come on, there’s someone I want you to meet.”

Introducing Lena to Kalex went smoother than Kara ever imagined. Grinning as Lena prowled around the robot quizzing the two of them about its functions and science, her jaw almost dropping a couple of times as she listened, before lining up another question.

“I knew you said science on Krypton was advanced, and we talked about the science guild, but I never imagined…” Lena gestured to Kalex, still entranced. “I mean, I did imagine, but actually seeing it- Do you know what L-Corp could accomplish with this kind of technology? If I could build something like Kalex, I could-“

“Lena.”

Whipping around Lena took a deep breath as she felt Kara brush along her jawline, before sliding inside her coat to cup the back of her neck, gently stroking her thumb pulse point.

“We’ll have to talk to Kal-El.”

“Right.” Lena deflated, suddenly reminded that they were standing in Superman’s fortress. “Of course.”

“He doesn’t blame you, you know?” Kara whispered as she noticed the way Lena straightened her shoulders, trying to keep her face from falling. “For the things Lex did. He wouldn’t let me bring you here if he did.”

“Why are we here?” Lena lifted an eyebrow, her tone teasing as she grasped at the opportunity to change the subject.

Not answering, Kara turned to the hovering robot, “Kalex, can we start at the beginning again?”

Before Lena could ask what she was talking about, a man’s voice started to play throughout the fortress.

Kal-El, my future grandson. This is the story of the House of El. Our ending is yet to be written, but this is how we began. Ours is a story of sacrifice and triumph. How the house of El led a revolution against tyranny.

“Kal found a recording our grandfather left him.” Kara whispered into Lena’s ear as her eyes closed. “My father and uncle used to tell me the story on Krypton…but” Kara’s voice caught as she pressed her nose into Lena’s hair, taking a deep breath. “I just needed to hear it again.”

Lena squeezed Kara’s hand, turning awkwardly to press a kiss to Kara’s shoulder in understanding. Tightening Kara’s grip around her waist, Lena settled into Kara’s arms. “Let’s listen to your story.”

The story of your family isn’t about how we died, but about how we lived.

[a-lonely-ass-hoe]

Reynolds Pamphlet

Eliza x Fem!Reader Modern AU ____________________________________ "Alexander take a break!"

"You know I have to get this plan through congress!"

~~~~~~~~~

Eliza Hamilton walked to the lake that she wanted to visit with Alexander. She had on shorts and a blouse, and a book just to read. When she arrived she saw the empty bench and sat quietly gazing at the sunset. A couple of minutes passed and a young lady appeared, she was around Eliza's age. She had a picnic basket and a book in hand, she too was wearing something similar to Eliza.

"I'm sorry for interrupting, I didn't know that someone was gonna be here."

"No don't worry, I just wanted to read my book."

"Oh me too!" the young lady smiles. She sets down a blanket and lays down to read her book. After a couple of minutes of silence, the girl speaks.

"I'm sorry for interrupting again but do you want to eat? I have some snacks and wine?"

"Wine!?"

She giggles and blushes, "Yeah...."

"I don't see why not it's a beautiful day."

Eliza sat down on the blanket, the young lady takes out crackers, cheese and all kinds of fruit, and a bottle of white wine.

"I don't know the name of the person who is about to feed me?" "Oh I forgot to introduce myself! Y/N Y/L/N."

"Elizabeth Hamilton but you can call me Eliza."

The women drink and talk to eachother about their lives.

"So what brings you here? I come here almost every weekend and I have never seen you here."

"I don't live here. I was just visiting my father with my sister and children."

"You're Phillip Schuyler's daughter?"

"My dad and him are best friends but I lived with my mom in another house until my mom died and I moved in with my dad and I have the house to myself."

"Is your father rarely home?"

"No he died and now the house is mine, I live there with my daughter, she's 8 years old."

"Oh I'm sorry!"

"It's alright. So you said your last name was Hamilton, are you married?"

"Yes and I have two kids, the oldest is Phillip and he is 10 and Angelica she's 8."

"Where's your husband?"

"Back home, he had to stay for work."

"I see."

"What about you?"

"I had a husband but then I found out he was cheating. So I divorced him and that was about a year ago."

"Oh I'm--"

"It's ok don't worry." She giggles at Eliza's behavior.

They keep talking about their lives and later on exchange numbers and go back to their children. While Eliza stays she begins to cherish moments with Y/N more and more. For the first time in a long time Eliza feels loved, she feels as if she has finally been given the attention she needed. She was sad when she had to go back home but she was happy to see Alexander her beloved husband again.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Eliza and Y/N texted almost everyday, sending pictures of the kids and updating eachother on books they should read and they even started reading a book series together. Both trying to out-read the other. It had been a year of them texting and face-timing. Over the course of the year the both of them had fallen in love with eachother. Eliza didn't know this at the time, but Y/N had already begun to realize why each time she talked to Eliza she got butterflies or why she was never hungry or why she was always happy after talking to Eliza.

One day Y/N is looking through Instagram and she scrolls to see a screenshot of a blog post. What caught her attention was the word Reynolds Pamphlet and the name of the user alexanderhamilton. The last name reminded her of Eliza so she began to read. At first she thought it was a coincidence that he had the same last name as her crush. She soon realized it was Eliza's husband. She quickly sent the link to Eliza and waited until she would reply

As soon as Eliza heard her phone she quickly grabbed it hoping for it to be Y/N. She sees that Y/N had sent a link of a post. She was waiting to see a cute video of animals or a funny video of someone falling over, but no. It was a post about her husband and his sex scandal. Soon every news tabloid was covering the scandal.

Eliza was heartbroken. How could he!? She thought. Eliza went to her shared bedroom and sat on their shared bed. She cried and sobbed. Her children? How would they see their father? Did Alexander even love her? A load of questions running through her mind along with her best friend. Soon Angelica arrived and hugged her, she loved Angelica and she felt slightly better. But nothing could help with her pain, except for Y/N but she didn't want to accept that fact yet. When Alexander came home everyone could hear Angelica screaming at him. The children laid in bed, barely understanding.

Alex had written her love letters while they dated. He sent her texts and emails while she was away. She couldn't look at them again. She began to light the letters on fire and deleted all trace of him on her phone. When she deleted the last of his messages a new message came up.

Y/N <3:  If you don't want to be near your husband you can always stay at my place. I know the situation you're in and I figured I could help and since I'm your best friend.

Eliza: Thank you Y/N, I think I will stay with my father but I will visit you everyday.

Eliza's heart warmed up. Weeks later Eliza took the children and stayed with her father, just to get way from Alexander. Angelica had gone back to London to her husband. Eliza had no one except Y/N.

Everyday Eliza and Y/N would go to the lake. Both would bring books and some days it was the both of them on the same blanket that Y/N had brought on the day they met, other days were both talking on and on about any topic. While Y/N's feelings for Eliza grew more, she had to remind herself that Eliza was in love with Alexander. Meanwhile, Y/N was in her own thought, Eliza began to think of Y/N every second of the day. She began to feel butterflies in her stomach and she began to feel nervous around Y/N.

Eliza felt happy and appreciated around Y/N, Y/N gave Eliza all the attention in the world. She felt love, something she felt Alexander never gave her, something he only gave her at the beginning of the relationship. Maybe just the first 3 months, and here she was a year into this friendship and she still felt the same attention, love, appreciation since the beginning.

Eliza didn't want to believe she had fallen in love again. Especially so quickly! But the more she thought and thought. She began to realize that she had always been in love with Y/N. Ever since she visited the lake, since the moment the first words came out of her mouth.

She would soon have to move back and think of divorcing Alexander and child support and everything else that came with that. She didn't want to leave, she wanted to express her love to Y/N.

The night before she left she decide she would write a note. She would write a letter to Y/N and what she meant to her and how much she loved her. Eliza wrote this letter, and it took her all night but she didn't have enough courage to leave it at the lake. She wanted to tell Y/N, face to face, so that if it went well she could finally kiss her. Something she had been longing to do.

The ride home, Eliza had Y/N on her mind. She stayed home everyday and Alexander would stay in his office most days. Eliza had had enough of being married to Alexander, she wanted to be single and available for Y/N. She had hope that Y/N loved her too.

"Alexander."

"Eliza!?"

"I want a divorce."

"But--I- are you sure?"

"Yes."

He sighed and wanted to cry but knew that what he did was wrong and he didn't deserve Eliza.

"I will get the divorce papers and sign them."

"What about the children?"

"They could stay with you since I am always working. But I get to see them whenever I want."

"Fine."

"And yes I will pay child support."

"Alright."

Eliza walked out and sighed happily and walked to her room. She couldn't wait till everything was fixed. She texted Y/N everyday and kept her update on the divorce and everything else. Soon weeks became months and everything was finalized. Eliza stayed in the house and Alex moved in with John Laurens. Alex had wanted to take the kids to Disney for their spring break and Eliza agreed, she took this as her opportunity to visit Y/N.

When she arrived Y/N opened the door. With her hair tied up and in a pair of sweatpants and a T-shirt. Eliza thought she looked beautiful, Eliza didn't know whether to hug her or kiss her or do anything really. Y/N smiled and hugged Eliza she allowed her to pass.

"Where's Violet?"

"Her dad wanted to take her for a trip, cause she has been great in school."

"I see, so it's just you and me?"

"Yep."

"Wanna do a movie marathon?"

"Disney?"

"Obviously!"

Both of the girls entered the house and made popcorn and got blankets. Both sat on the couch and put in Beauty and ther Beast, they cuddled until the movie finished. Eliza realized Y/N was asleep in her arms. Eliza stroked her head and kissed it. Y/N felt the kiss and smiled. The next morning they both woke up and made breakfast, then they went to the lake to read almost the entire day. Later that evening they decided to watch a movie but this time wine and pizza were involved. Eliza and Y/N were pretty tipsy, telling eachother about highschool crushes and memories. They both laughed about how they were cheated on.

"You know both of us were cheated on."

"Ha your right."

"I would never cheat on you."

"Neither would I, like Alexander is stupid."

"Well your ex-husband is stupid. I don't know his name."

"Ha I don't care about him anymore."

"Who do you care about then?"

"You know... My daughter. You?"

"I care about my children and family and you."

Y/N smiles.

"But what I meant was if you loved anyone?"

"Oh yeah, but they probably don't love me in that way."

"Oh you have a crush?"

"Kinda yeah. You?"

"Yeah I didn't realize it until Alexander did what he did. Kind of glad he did it though cause this person treats me like I'm the only girl in the world."

"What's his name?"

"Y/N."

"They have my same name!?"

"It's you."

"It's me?"

"Yes you."

Y/N quickly moves towards Eliza and kisses her. The kiss is passionate and Eliza quickly begins to kiss back. That night they ended up in Y/N's bedroom cuddling in between the sheets. Both of them talked about their feelings and both of them knew that life was going to be better.

[not-a-princess-but-a-queen]

for @thewelterschallenge first weeks prompts Quest! Have some Alice being rescued by some Demigods!

Alice paced her small cell, muttering and cursing to herself. She had to think of a way to get out of here. As she was pacing, a shadow in her corner deepened and a young man with thick dark hair and an aviators jacket stepped out of it. Alice froze for a second before she stepped back and backed into her desk.

"Who are you?" she demanded

The man, boy really, he couldn't be more than 18, stepped forward and held up his hands in a peace gesture. "I'm here to get you out, my name is Nico di Angelo."

She frowned and loosened her stance a bit. That name didn't mean anything to her. "Why would you help me?"

Nico sighed and stepped closer to her. "Because we need you to help us, and you want to help your friends, don't you? We're wasting time. If I get caught here it won't be pretty. Grab my hand and let's go," he stretched out a hand to her and waited impatiently for her to take it.

The mention of her friends made Alice's heart skip a beat and she quickly tried to weigh her options, but she didn't really have any others so she took his hand and together they made their way through the shadows.

The feeling was clammy and made her skin crawl when they materialized in an apartment somewhere. She quickly glanced around, taking in the buildings she could see outside the windows and the noise indicated they were in New York still at least. She focused on the apartment itself as Nico dropped her hand and made to plop down on the couch, throwing an arm over his eyes and sighing. Sound from behind her had her turning to see more people entering what appeared to be a living room from the kitchen. There were three of them, two men and a woman. They were only a few years younger than her. One of them had dark black hair and green eyes, the other two were blond haired and blue eyed. They all eyed her for a minute before one of the men grinned and held out a hand.

"Hey, I'm Percy," he said. "That's Annabeth and Will. You're Alice, right?" Alice nodded  and took the offered hand in a brief shake. "What am I doing here?" she asked.

Annabeth steeped forward and Will walked past them and made to kneel beside Nico on the couch, muttering to him softly.

"We're supposed to help you kill the beast and bring stop the library's rationing magic," Annabeth explained.

Alice frowned. "You're magicians?" Whatever Nico had pulled her through didn't feel like any portal or teleportation she'd experienced before.

Annabeth shook her head. "We're demigods," she explained. "We've been sent on a quest to help you."

Alice blinked, taking the knowledge in before nodding. It made sense that if the gods were still around they would have mortal children still. "OK, but we need to help my friends first, the beast will be after them."

Percy nodded in agreement. "Of course. Our group is coming over in the morning and we're going to talk info and strategy. You can stay here tonight, my mom and sister are at the beach for the weekend so you can have her room." Alice glanced around the apartment again, taking in the toys scattered around. Nico had sat up on the couch and Will had joined him. The sky outside was dark, and Alice was suddenly aware of how long it had been since she'd last truely slept. She sighed in resignation. She really hated having a mortal body sometimes.

"Thank you," she offered.

Percy shrugged and gestured for her to follow him down the hall. Percy showed her into his moms room, and lent her some cloths of Annabeth's to sleep in. She lay down on top of the covers and let her mind drift off,  not fighting her bodies need for sleep for once. ..............

She woke up the next morning to voices in the apartment and  stretched, making her way out of the room to them. The others were in the kitchen and it seemed they had been joined by others. There were six more people there crammed into the kitchen. One of them had long blond hair that reminded her so much of Quentin she flinched.

They heard her coming at turned to glance at her. Percy waved from where he was at the stove making pancakes. "Good morning," he hummed. "Morning," she said,

Annabeth hopped up on the counter and made room for Alice to join them. "Alice, this is my cousin Magnus Chase," she said gesturing to the young boy who looked like Quentin. "His friends Alex, Samirah, Blitzen and Hearthstone," she gestured to four more beside him. Hearthstone was clearly an elf of some sort and Blitzen looked like drawings she'd seen of dwarfs. She was surprised, supposedly the dwarves on earth had gone to a different dimension some centuries ago.

"We have pancakes and orange juice if you want any," Annabeth offered. Alice nodded and poured herself a glass of orange juice, glancing at the last stranger in the room, standing by Will.  He was a older  teen with thick dark curls and hazel eyes. Alice stared at him, frowning at the power coming off of him. "Who are you?" she asked.

He raised an eyebrow at her, before lighting up with a charming grin. "Apollo, at your service."

Alice frowned, pulling a face in confusion. "But you're..." she trailed off.

Will snickered beside him, making Apollo swat at him. "I was trapped in this form for a few years, it's habit now. I can change if you'd like," he challenged.

Alice shook her head in denial and took a gulp of her orange juice. "So, not that I'm not thankful but I don't understand. Why are you guys involved now when you weren't before? I thought most of the gods don't care if we get magic back or not."

Apollo shrugged. "Most don't, but magic being gone has affected my oracles, and I just got them back.  Also, the others really don't want that creature around. We've tried locking it up and it didn't work, so this time it gets destroyed." Alice nodded and sighed, running her hands through her hair. "Ok," she agreed. She had no problem killing this thing.

"First things first, the Kanes aren't going to make it they're having problems at the Nome, so it's just us. Second we need to decide who all is going and come up with a game plan," Percy said. "Rachel is out of commission so there won't be a prophecy for this quest."

Everyone nodded and they settled down to talk strategy. It was decided that Percy and Annabeth weren't needed and would go back to school once this was over, and Apollo declined to join them as well, a fact which didn't seem to surprise the demigods. Blitzen declined as well saying that he had important work to do in Boston but that if they needed him he would help. That left Nico, Will, Magnus, Alex, Samirah, and Hearthstone with Alice.

Percy nodded. "Good, seven's the usual number so that works."

Alice hummed in agreement. "Now we just need to find a way to get my friends their memories back. Then track and kill the creature."  

Annabeth hopped down from the counter. "I'll start researching," she hummed. Alice grinned a bit in comradery with the young girl. "I'll join you."

Alex watched them go with a snort and a shake of her head. "Time to start another crazy quest," she muttered. "Yeah!"

Magnus chuckled while he watched Hearthstone and Blitzen join them, Blitzen translating the elfs ASL for them. 

"Don't pretend you haven't been bored Fierro," he smirked.

"Shut up Chase," she muttered, and nudged him, going to join Percy for more pancakes.

Magnus rubbed the pendant around his neck and sighed, here they go again.

[my-dear-hammy]

Basking in Firelight-Jamilton Sequel-Part Thirty-Nine

Masterpost

Part Thirty-Nine: Strangers

MUSIC

AN

When did my chapters get so long??? I went from writing eight chapters a day to one or two...sad

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Warnings Below

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Jefferson sat comfortably on his couch, legs tucked up under him, a warm blanket, tea in his hand, and a book on his lap. It couldn't get much better than that. The convention had stressed him out completely. The roundabout arguments with Hamilton that were just non-stop. On and on and on and on. Hamilton just jabbered away. How did he talk so much? Like seriously? Jefferson could shoot down every single point in Hamilton's six-hour speech in two minutes and still have everyone just as captivated. He didn't understand why Hamilton couldn't just say what he wanted to say without all the unnecessary drama.

Every time Jefferson so much looked at the guy, his blood boiled.

He didn't understand, from what Jefferson could remember, he and Hamilton loathed each other. How does that just suddenly change? Hamilton said that it all started when Eliza burnt down his house, but Jefferson felt that wasn't true. If Jefferson had really hated him then, he wouldn't have let Hamilton stay at his house.

Not that Jefferson could remember how it all happened.

At this point, all he knew was that Hamilton was insufferable but he was going to have to deal with him in order to build a stable nation. That's what mattered more than anything, the nation and the people living there.

He stared at his book and realize he just read two chapters without absorbing anything it said. He sighed, great, now Hamilton was making it impossible to read too. Jefferson shut the book, got up and began to Pace the kitchen. Restless. That's what he was. Why was he so restless? He just got back from literally forming a new constitution, the basis of the new nation.

Frustrated, he did what he always did when he got restless, stalked into his bedroom and grabbed his violin. The wooden instrument had always been a way he dealt with things he couldn't make sense of. He plucked the strings with his long fingers. G, D, A, E. Each note hummed as he plucked the open strings. The vibrations danced through the wood and up his arm, through his chest. Beautiful. He set the violin aside, grabbed his bow and rosined it up, sliding the amber looking tree sap along the horse hairs. He tucked the violin under his chin and slid the bow across the strings, closing his eyes and soaking up the vibrations that hummed through the air. He didn't even think about what he was playing, he just played.

For some reason beyond his understanding, the song made him sad, like it was missing a half of itself. His thoughts went suddenly to Hamilton again. The way his eyes had sparked when he argued heatedly with Jefferson over the governmental structure they were putting in place. Jefferson played faster. God damn it. Why did he have to think about that bastard? Why couldn't his mind just shut up?

He did the only thing he could think of. He played the same song again. Over and over until someone knocked on his door.

Placing the violin carefully in its case, he grabbed one of his silver pistols and answered the door. "Madison? What're you doing here?" Jefferson asked, dropping the gun he had hidden behind the door to his side and stepped aside to let Madison in.

Madison eyed the gun as he stepped through, "I wanted to talk to you. About our past lives. It's still a little muddled for me."

"Of course," Jefferson said, closing the door and heading the kitchen. "Where do you want to start?" He asked, throwing his gun carelessly on the counter and opening the fridge.

Madison sat on a bar stool and happily received the glass of lemonade that Jefferson poured him. "Let's start from the beginning," he said, "when we met."

***

Hamilton was at the bar. Like he usually was these days. Drowning out his problems only to have to deal with them in the morning when he woke up alone.

"It's like it not even him anymore, you know what I'm saying?" Laurens said suddenly from beside him. They were both drunk and laughing and having a great time. Until something reminded him of Jefferson, then everything went quiet. Lafayette had disappeared to the bathroom a while ago. "Jefferson, I mean," Laurens slurred slightly. Hamilton remained silent so Laurens babbled on. "I mean, the guy's a total dick. I don't even know why you were friends in the first place. But whatever you two were friends for is gone now. You two can barely look at each other without bursting into flames," Laurens finished off his drink and called for another. "He's a complete stranger now. Doesn't know me, doesn't know you, fuck, it's like he died and this Jefferson is just someone who looks like him."

Yeah, and had the same southern drawl that melted Hamilton's resolve the same shit faced grin, the same love to cook, the same principles, the same everything, just no love for Hamilton.

"Let's face it," Laurens shook his head sadly, "Thomas Jefferson is dead. We've got to move on."

"John!" Lafayette shouted from behind them.

"What?"

"Don't say such awful things! Don't you see what it's doing to Alex?"

Laurens glanced over to Hamilton who was just drinking from a glass. "What? He seems fine, it's not like they were dating or anything. They were just friends."

Lafayette looked at him in disbelief, fumbling for words. "How would you feel if Hamilton was in Jefferson's place?"

"That's different," Laurens mumbled into his glass.

"No. It's not." Lafayette crossed his arms.

Laurens looked at him, confused, then understanding crossed his face. "What?" he whispered breathlessly. He looked at Hamilton, "Alex, you were- you and Jefferson- you-" Laurens shot from his chair, Hamilton took another drink, not moving his gaze from where they'd been focused for the last ten minutes. "I gotta go." Laurens half ran, half stumbled out of the bar.

"I'm sorry, mon ami," Lafayette said gently, a hand on Hamilton's shoulder.

"I've got some work I need to do," Hamilton said, shrugging Lafayette off, picking up his briefcase, and leaving the bar. He walked to Burr's house.

"Alexander?" Burr answered his door, decked in pajamas, a rifle in his hand. Everyone was paranoid these days, weren't they?

"Aaron Burr, sir," Hamilton nodded in greeting.

"It's the middle of the night."

"Can we confer, sir?"

Burr was extremely confused. Hamilton hated him, why was he standing on his doorstep and going through exactly what they had when Hamilton pitched the Constitution to him the first time. "Are you drunk?"

Hamilton ignored the question. "It's a legal matter and important to me."

"No."

"You don't even know-" Hamilton began to protest.

"You're about to ask if I want to help you defend the New Constitution and I'm saying no."

"You made this mistake the first time."

"I might be more inclined to help if you didn't show up shit faced on my doorstep at three a.m." Burr said. Hamilton grumbled. "But the fact is, you're drunk. And if you weren't, you wouldn't be here. Or you would be just to punch me in the face. So go home. Sleep it off. And if you want to still ask me tomorrow, we'll have this discussion then." Burr closed the door in Hamilton's face. The motherfucker. Hamilton turned around and looked at the city. Who else could he go to for support on the Constitution?

***

Madison had gone home an hour ago, leaving Jefferson with nothing to do but pace again. Rather than doing that until he went to bed, he went back to playing that song on the violin. It was driving him crazy, but he couldn't stop. He tossed the violin down on the couch, walked into the kitchen, pulled open a cabinet, grabbed a bottle, and poured a glass. He leaned back against the counter, holding the glass in his hand, head tilted back. Jefferson didn't know what it was that he was feeling, but it felt kinda like stress, exhaustion, and the weight of the world all rolled into one and placed on his shoulders. He took a drink.

There was a knock on the door.

Okay, now Jefferson was suspicious. Two people visiting in one day? He wasn't that popular lately. Plus, there was the fact it was past three in the morning. What was he even doing awake? He thought about ignoring it but when the person knocked again, this time louder and more obnoxiously, Jefferson decided he should just deal with it. Scooping up the pistol he'd thrown on the counter earlier, he made his way to the door. He rested his hand in the handle for a second. The knocks came again, even louder and impatient than before. Jefferson knew he was about to be in a lot of trouble. Who wanted his head now? He swung open the door and had the gun aimed, sure he would have to use it this time. Instead of assassin's, he was met with a small, angry man that glared up at him, completely ignoring the gun.

"Hamilton?" Jefferson said surprised, lowering his gun. "What are you doing here?"

"I've come to confer," Hamilton said, taking in Jefferson's appearance. He was dressed in a tank top and sweats. The muscles of his arms were on display, and the shirt was tight enough for Hamilton to be able to see every dip and curve of Jefferson's fit form. Shit.

"What could possibly be important enough for you to come here are three?" Hamilton didn't answer and pushed past Jefferson into the house. Jefferson closed the door and followed him. Hamilton perched on a barstool in the kitchen, placing his briefcase on the counter and popping it open. Jefferson walked around to the other side of the bar and grabbed his drink from where he had set it down and finished it off before pouring himself another glass.

Hamilton looked up, mouth open, ready to start talking one hundred miles a minute, a large stack of papers in his hand but paused before he said anything at Jefferson pouring himself a glass of what could only be whiskey. And he was certainly being generous with the amount. "You don't drink," Hamilton pointed out.

"I do now," Jefferson replied, setting down the bottle.

"Is my presence really that unbearable that I drive you to drinking?" Hamilton asked sharply.

Jefferson snorted. "Please, I was drinking before you even knocked. If you could drive me to drinking, I would have just shot you on my doorstep."

Hamilton snarled and almost threw the packet of papers across the counter to Jefferson. "You could at least pour me a drink as well," Hamilton said.

"Does my presence really drive you to drinking?" Jefferson smirked as he pulled down another glass from the cabinet.

"Yes."

They both took a drink.

Jefferson picked up the stack of papers, "What're these?"

"The New Constitution and a proposal."

"Shit, I'm not reading this when you're right here can just tell me what you're proposing," Jefferson said, tossing the stack back onto the counter. He already knew what the Constitution said, he helped write it.

"A series of essays defending the document to the public."

"But you were against the Constitution," Jefferson said, slightly confused, "Why do you want to defend it?"

"Because it's better than nothing. A nothing is dangerous. If this New Constitution is what we have to work with, then fine. But the public doesn't see it that way, if they don't like it, they'll throw it out the window and we'll either dissolve into separate nations of states or all out anarchy. The Constitution is better than that."

"You talk a lot."

"Fuck off," Hamilton snapped.

"So why come to me? We don't get along very well. Why not Madison or Burr?"

"Burr wouldn't talk to me because it's three a.m. and I'm drunk. I planned to invite Madison."

"You don't seem drunk," Jefferson observed.

"I told Burr I was perfectly fine, but he wouldn't have it. So I came here. Last option really," Hamilton said. Even if he didn't seem that drunk, he knew he was. He stumbled all the way here and had shown up at Madison's house by mistake. Plus, there was the fact that Hamilton's gaze raked up and down Jefferson's body whenever he wasn't looking. Hamilton had every bit of him memorized, every sensitive area, every spot that would make him scream. Jefferson was looking at him, Hamilton couldn't meet his eyes. Instead, his gaze wandered the room.

"I suppose I could help with this. Madison will jump on board too, but he probably just got a little bit ago and is probably sleeping now."

Hamilton's gaze stilled on the couch where Jefferson's violin was sitting as if Jefferson had gotten up to get something and meant to come back for it. "You were playing," Hamilton stated, completely throwing the conversation off track.

"Yes, I was," Jefferson replied.

"What song?" Hamilton's chest was tight.

"Bach," Jefferson lied. For some reason, the song he'd been playing felt personal and Jefferson didn't feel like trying to explain it to Hamilton.

"Ever play a song called the Impossible Duet?" Hamilton asked carefully, his stomach twisting in knots.

"The Impossible what?"

Hamilton was going to throw up. No matter what, that was the one thing both of them remembered, that one song. And Jefferson had no idea what he was talking about. "I can show you," Hamilton said cautiously, shoving down his nausea.

"You play violin?" Jefferson asked, his glass pausing halfway to his lips. Hamilton wanted to kiss those lips.

"Umm, no. I was hoping you had your cello around."

"Oh, no I don't. You play cello?"

Yep, Hamilton was going to be sick. "Yeah, I told you that."

"Oh yeah, sorry, I forgot."

"No shit."

"No need to get hostile. It's not my fault I can't remember," Jefferson's voice started rising, "It's not like I chose to forget you and Laurens and Mulligan and maybe some other people that can't say because I don't remember! Okay? I'm sorry you got the short end of the stick but there's nothing I can do about it!"

Jefferson never yelled. Never raised his voice. Never so much as a whisper above his normal, charming voice. Not unless someone was dying or dead. He always used sly insults and smooth charm to fight his battles but never raising his voice.

"Laurens was right," Hamilton said, setting down his glass and closing his case. "Thomas Jefferson died a long time ago." Hamilton stood and looked Jefferson dead in the eye. "I don't know you." Then he walked out the door and was gone. Jefferson spun and hurled his glass at the wall.

Jefferson stood there for a moment, breathing heavily, watching the dark liquid drip. Oh God, he'd snapped. He snapped and yelled at Hamilton who didn't deserve it. Sure he was a prick, but he didn't deserve that.

Why was Jefferson so stupid? Why couldn't he just let Hamilton's words roll off like everyone else's words did? Why did Hamilton's words have such a way of digging into his skin? Jefferson stalked over and grabbed the entire bottle he'd been drinking, sank down on the floor and chugged.

Jefferson drank himself to sleep where he dreamed fitfully, running through Monticello, trying to find Hamilton, trying to reach him before he disappeared, before the door closed.

And always failing.

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Warnings: Drinking, Anger Issues,

[jsehrhardt-blog]

Unsure.

1.12.2017

This is the first time I am writing in a long time, and it is part of my new year’s resolution to get back on tract and keep updating my blog. This post is going to be a long one, for the fact that so much has happened in the past 2 months. It is an explanation and a reflection on some tough experiences. I figured that it will be best if I just go in chronological order starting from November 1st to now.

End of October/Beginning of November

It was a transition month with some difficult news to bear. My cohort had just ended our IST:  in – service training, which marks our first three months of service. After finishing the week-long workshop, most of us were feeling motivated, and ready to go back to site and get to work. A good number of individuals in my cohort decided to come and visit Jinja for Halloween and to spend some time together before traveling back to our various sites all over the country. It was a great weekend, filled with fun and family. As we were wrapping up the two days of fun, our cohort received terrible news. I had gone with my friend Jerusalem down the street to the bank, and when we returned to the restaurant that we were all hanging out, Ryan immediately got our attention to tell us the news. He had told us that he received a phone call from our country director stating that Diane Veiller, a member of our cohort had died from post-operation complications in South Africa. Diane had been at our training the week before for one day. I had had dinner with her, and two of members of my cohort, Kelly and Alex. We spent the night chatting away, catching up, talking about our sites and things we were doing. Diane had talked about her excitement for her son to come visit her during the holidays and how happy she was to see him in such a short time. It was a pleasant evening, which ended when all of us were exhausted and wanted to go to bed at 8:30 because we are grandmas. The next day, we found out that Diane had left and gone to the hospital for having extreme pain, which turned out to be gallstones. None of us thought anything about it until we heard that she was being flown to South Africa. Still the week continued. When we heard the news of her death, it came as a complete shock. A million things were running through my mind, and I couldn’t wrap my head around the fact that something in out cohort had died. How, why, was there a complication? Did she have previous health issues? What is peace corps not telling us? Since different groups of people were still in town, we all got together and decided to spent the rest of the day with each other. The mood was somber, and none of really knew what to say. It was a weird feeling. None of us, other than Jordan, were particularly close to Diane. But she was a member in our cohort and she was family. None of us expected this and reality struck quickly. It hit us, the same conclusion: “This could have been any of us”. Death is a complicated experience, which unleashes unexplainable emotions. This death, Diane’s death, was just this. As the days passed by, and everyone lingered back to their sites, I couldn’t help but feel unbalanced. Lonely, nervous, uneased, anxious, sad, and confused about what had happened. These feelings in response to Diane’s death transferred to my feelings towards my work in Uganda. I began to question whether it was worth it to be here. In the general sense, yes; I made this commitment to serve 27 months, under conditions of hardship, but on the other hand, was the commitment worth it? You get a lot of alone time in peace corps, which seems nice at first, but it gives you a lot of time to think. It gives you time to get in your head, to question every decision you make, and drags your thoughts to the best and worst places. The time moved to Mid – November, and I continued to experience a lot of self- doubt and confusion. I loved the people I had met, and generally like where I lived, but I had no idea what I was doing, no plans for projects, and was experiencing a mental block at work. The only push or motivation I had was the upcoming travel plans for a month which lead up to my trip home for the holidays. I decided to push my emotions aside, and enjoy the time I had ahead.

November 22

Thanksgiving was the first of the travels. I made my way far east, to Mbale to spent the holiday with a close group of mine. This break was a well needed one. It was filled with a relaxing pool day, real conversations, fresh homemade food, movie marathons, and most importantly – friends, love, and laughter. It was a time that lifted my spirits and included conversations with motivators that reminded me of why I love to be in Uganda. The time went quick, as fun always does, but there was no fret, because I was on to the next travel. November 28 – 30 This travel was not one for the exciting memories, since it entailed a tripped up to Gulu for Diane’s Memorial. It started in high spirits – it was the first time a majority of our cohort had been together after learning of Diane’s passing, and everyone was excited and happy to see each other. We headed up to Gulu on two buses. When arriving six hours later, we were ready to explore, but still had no idea of the schedule or plan for this memorial. We spent the afternoon/nights like we always do, catching up, eating, having a beer, cocktail, or glass of wine, cigarettes for some. The night ended with individuals splitting into smaller groups, some packing in early, and others spending time alone. The next day we left the guest house at 8:00 AM. In typical fashion, the ceremony started late, which wasn’t bad, but the real disappointment came with the outcome of the memorial. This memorial was not for Diane and did not reflect or focus on her life. The planning on the behalf of the administration created a product that left many of us volunteers frustrated and disappointed. Diane was called Diana, and there was an extremely long catholic mass that excluded many cohort members since they did not practice this religion. There were many speeches from local government and police that had nothing to do with Diane or her memory, and lastly, the memorial shared remembrance for two random Ugandans that had no relation to Diane. The outcome of the memorial was blamed on Ugandan Culture. Yes, it had a cultural influence, but it was the responsibility of the Peace Corps Administration to plan this memorial and to meet the expectations of the cohort in mourning. Things happen, but it was unfortunate that this event left many volunteers in our cohort with complex emotional responses and frustration. However, to shed some positive light, there were some good parts of the memorial. Diane’s counterpart had a very nice speech in her honor, which showed deep care and appreciation for her work. Her host family sister and mother spoke, also sharing positive memories of Diane. And a member of our cohort, Judith Fleming, brought us together, as she gave a simple, yet powerful speech honoring Diane and reminding us of our service and its importance. It was small, yet very important to us. I left Gulu with many weird feelings, but knew that there was no need to dreed on things because you can’t change the past.

December 1

Back in Kampala, a group of us who were there for medical got the opportunity to help Amie make her partner, Gerod, birthday special! We ended up going to drinks during happy hour, then having dinner and an amazing Indian Restaurant, Khana Khanzana. I remember sitting at this table and thinking about how appreciative I was to have interacted with and met these individuals. All of us different, yet having this one common ambition to serve in the Peace Corps. It was a moment like this, that let me know that I made this right decision in coming to Uganda. The night was imperfectly perfect, and I left the next day to Jinja filled with happiness and joy for members of my cohort. Three short days later, I was back in Kampala partaking in an event put on by members of the Diversity Committee: Mary, Vaschille, and Anita called ‘The Natural Hair Retreat’. When I had first asked three months early to partake in this event, I had no idea what lied ahead. The retreat was an eye-opening experience. It was refreshing, innovative, and inspirational. The women who attended had such open minds and hearts, and we walked away with much more than what we came for. These women spoke of self-empowerment, gender disparity, equality, and want for change. We finished with self-reflection and goals to move forward, with specific focus on loving your hair, and more importantly, yourself. After the retreat, I spent an additional day in Kampala being treated for a parasite called Schistosomiasis. The meds made me really sick, but at least I got rid of the parasite. My parents weren’t too happy to hear about this one. I then traveled up to Gulu for the Weekend to spend some time with some close friends up there. It was short and sweet, but I was so happy that I got to spend time with Lauren, Sydney, Kelly, Emilia, Angie, and Sam.

December 11.

In coming back from Gulu, I had one week before my departure to the States to spend the holidays with my family. I was excited to spend six days by myself since I had traveled none stop since thanksgiving. That Sunday Night, I laid in bed, watching Modern Family until I feel asleep. Monday morning, I woke up, with no plans but to complete laundry and chores for the day. Around 11:00AM, I got a call from one of my closest friends in PC, Conor. I thought it was calling to update me on his status of site change, but the news was completely different. Conor was quiet, no flare in his voice as usually. He just spat out the news: “I’m being med sepped”. In complete shock and surprised, I asked him to repeat himself. I could not believe what I was hearing. The rest of the conversation was a blur, I believe from shock, but it probably included questions of why, how, when completed by “this is so unfair”. To explain, ‘med sepped’ is short for medical separation. This is when Peace Corps Administration decides to separate you, or terminate your service due to a medical reason. For privacy, I will not share Conor’s reasoning for medical separation, but I will say that the process and reasoning was not justified. Peace Corps loss an incredible volunteer who wanted to stay. This situation for me is very hard. I haven’t taken the time to cope with this decision, but all I can say for now, is that it is very difficult being in this country without one of my biggest supporters and friends. To keep short: Conor, you truly are an incredibly thoughtful, passionate, caring, and devoted individual, and PC UGA will truly miss you. Love you so much and thank you for embracing me for who I am and standing by my side. I wish you the best of luck in finding your next passion, I know you’ll do great because you were made for greatness.

On December 15, 2016, I said goodbye to a best friend that day, not knowing the next time I would see him. My heart felt very heavy, and my head with confusion and very little optimism. I went back to my site in Bukaaya, where I spent the night packing up my things and getting ready to travel back to the States. All I could think is that this trip home couldn’t have come at a better time. I felt lonely, and I needed to be with my family. That Saturday, I left with a fellow PCV, Greg, to make our travel to the airport. After almost 4 hours of travel, we arrive in Entebbe, treated ourselves to Café Javas because, well, we deserved it. We enjoyed our last meal in Uganda for the next two weeks, and moved over to the airport. Greg’s flight was sooner than mine, so I was forced to stay outside the airport until 2 hours before my departure. In sitting alone, I couldn’t even begin to wrap my mind around anything thoughts. What had even happened in the past 4 weeks? As I eagerly waited for my flight, I saw a peace corps car roll up to the airport. I didn’t recognize the individual getting out, but shortly introduced myself as we both sat and waited for our flights. AJ was such a bright, fun, individual to be around; and even if I only got to meet her briefly, I’m glad it happened. On my flight home, all I felt was relief. It was time to go home, to a place of comfort and sanity, and I was very ready for this.

To conclude this post, I would like to end with my simple thoughts of this journey so far. I write this to explain a completely unexpected experience in the Peace Corps, but one that is mine. Peace Corps does its best to explain what you will endure during your service, but leaves a very crucial and important truth aside– That honestly, you have no idea what you will be getting yourself into 90 percent of the time. As soon as you step off that plane in the developing nation you will be serving in, you have no idea what to expect. Each day, each hour, each minute can have a lasting impact and change your perspective. There is nothing that can prepare you for this experience, and every moment that you have effects the person who you develop into. I wish that was the advice that they focused on, but I guess that it is always more meaningful when you discover things yourself. The matter of the fact is: Peace Corps is the most difficult job you will ever love. I am still trying to wrap my head around the “love” part, but I for sure know it’s the most difficult job I’ve experienced. I look to 2017 as a fresh start. I know I have a long way ahead of me, but I know this experience will make me a stronger individual. Here is the sum of my service from November – December. It was a difficult time period, but hey, it wouldn’t be life if we didn’t have challenges. Thanks you for reading this, and keep tuning in. One of my goals for 2017 is to write more, and continue to share my experience here in Uganda with friends and family at home.

Best, Jessie.