#i won’t lie. i’m not okay. it feels like someone punched a hole through my chest

[heymacy]

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[dxckgrxsonx]

Quiet Realisations (i)

Pairing - Jason Todd X (F) Reader (Friends to Lovers) Words - 2.6k Warnings - Fluff - Angst - Forehead Kisses - Platonic Affection - Jason Cries - Comfort - Domestic!Jason - Reader plays with Jason’s hair - Swearing. Notes - I’m trapped in a glass case of emotion. This is going to be a series because I have so many different scenes planned out for the Friends to Lovers trope. Plus I wanted to try and write something that would challenge me a little, personally, I don’t think fluff is my strong point. Hope you enjoy!! 💕

PART TWO // MASTERLIST

**

‘There's something in your throat that wants to get out and you won’t let it.’

**

You swear it’s not a big deal.

There’s a lump lodging itself in the back of your throat and you find that no matter how hard you try, you can’t quite swallow it down. Fingers shaking like you’re holding onto something heavy, something so scorching hot that you’re convinced it’s going to burn a hole straight through the palm of your hand.

Part of you wants to drop it, nudge it under the sofa and forget about it, pretend it isn’t there–almost like kicking a rouge ice cube under the fridge in the kitchen. But you can’t forget it, can’t swallow the lump from your throat or clip a leash around that endless softness stirring in the pit of your stomach.

It’s not a big deal.

You’ve been close friends for a while now, you know in the back of your head that this is the next logical step forwards.

But god fucking help you, it feels like you’re offering up your soul on a plate.

**

He’s been here since before dawn.

The latch on your window remains slightly ajar. You find that something in the back of your head protests when you try to close it, digs its heels into the ground and refuses point blank to budge, even though you know that if you were to close it, he would still find his way in.

Something about letting him know that he’s always welcome. That if you close it, it sends him a certain message.

You’ve long since grown accustomed to the quiet click of your window as it opens. Memorised the almost silent pattern of footsteps as someone pads through your living room towards the bathroom. It used to fill you with dread, have you flaring awake neck deep in fight or flight and scrambling for your phone, a weapon, something to offer protection.

But recently, you’ve found that subconsciously your brain no longer registers the noise as a threat.

Still, you always make an effort to wake up, to check for injuries, to make sure he’s okay.

More than once he’s come tumbling through your window gasping for breath, weak, barely conscious and bleeding.

You remember the first few times that happened, the utter panic, the absolute shot of adrenaline punching fiercely through your ribs when you wake to the sound of his body hitting the floor like a complete deadweight.

After the first time, you started stashing first aid kits throughout the apartment. Sometimes you find yourself reaching for the one next to your bed in your sleep, would wake up with the kit clenched tight between your fingers like a lifeline.

Thankfully, this time he’s fine, and you were awake for a mere few minutes before he told you to go back to sleep with that small, tired smile you love so much.

You’ll never admit it.

Not to god, not under torture, not even to your own reflection in the mirror.

But you didn’t sleep until you heard him settle on your sofa and go quiet. You’ve always been more content with the knowledge that he was safe and comfortable than losing a few minutes of extra sleep.

Jason would never admit it either, but he knows that you stay awake and wait for him to drift off. Has known for months that on those nights where he comes to you, you lie in your bed and listen out for him until you’re convinced he’s okay.

You care in quiet ways.

Like stashing first aid kits in your apartment, leaving the latch on the window un-done, and waiting, soft and tired, for him to fall asleep first.

**

You pad into the living room quietly.

Beelining for the kitchen you smother a yawn into your fist and chance a split second glance to the lump on your sofa. There’s an involuntary quirk of your lips when your eyes settle on him, gaze cataloguing the lazy sprawl of his limbs and the way his hair peeks out at odd angles from underneath the blanket.

Grabbing the sight with both hands you tuck it away, ease it warm and gentle between the smooth curve of your ribs. You exhale—maybe in relief at the sight of him, safe and alive and uninjured for once.

Or maybe, you exhale because looking at him, curled up under your blanket–in your home–is making you a little dizzy.

You breathe oxygen back into your lungs quietly and almost miss the slight change in his breathing. For one horrible moment you think you may have woken him. Jason has always been sensitive to people’s eyes on him, even when he’s sleeping.

You wonder sometimes, if he ever truly gets to rest. 

Grabbing something to eat you wander back, and pull up short when you feel his gaze on you. There’s a strange look on his face you don’t see often, a flicker of something opening, it’s almost like looking at your window in the early hours of the morning, cracked open at the bottom and letting the cold air sweep in.

“Hey.” You smile, voice soft with sleep.

A small smile tips up Jason’s mouth in return and you find that your goddamn traitorous heart skips a beat.

Plonking yourself down directly on Jason’s stomach you take a big bite of your cereal bar and turn your head to glance at him, “You’re not very comfortable.”

Shifting so he lays flat on his back Jason grunts and plucks the cereal bar straight out of your greedy fingers, “Good. I hope sitting on me brings you incredible pain.” Shovelling the rest of the bar into his mouth he throws the wrapper at the side of your head.

Rolling your eyes you sweep the wrapper onto the floor, “Real mature.”

Shuffling around you settle with your thighs bracketing Jason’s hips. Smothering another yawn into your hands you squint when a beam of early morning sunlight streaks through your curtains and into your eyes.

Resting on your knees you lean over Jason’s head to tug them closed. Curling your fingers into the rough fabric you wobble, slightly unbalanced before firm fingers skirt over your ribcage and hold you in place.

There’s a flutter of your pulse at the feel of Jason's warm hand cupping your side. His thumb strokes gently over the curved bones and part of you feels like you’re going to turn to liquid and slip straight through his fingers.

You swallow and your voice comes out thick, “Thanks.”

Jason tightens his grip, “No problem.”

Leaning back and settling into place once more you stare at Jason’s hair, the strands sticking out at various angles from where it’s been trapped under his helmet on patrol, then ruffled as he’s slept. Your fingers itch with the urge to comb through the messy strands, mouth pressing into a barely controlled line.

“Jay,” You start, and you feel his attention swing to you. Humming non-sequentially as an answer he waits patiently, eyes slipping shut. “Can I please, please, please sort your hair out. You look like you’ve been struck by lightning.”

One side of his mouth hooks up in a crooked grin, one eye opening and flicking upwards, “You think mine is bad? You should look at yours.”

“You first.”

He makes a noise in the back of his throat, almost like you’ve wounded him, but he nods non-the-less.

Reaching out tentatively, you brush through the bone white streak first, fingers catching in the tangles and tugging them loose. Using your free hand you cup Jason’s face, thumb resting along his strong jawline to keep his head still as your other hand slowly works through his hair.

Pulling at a particularly stubborn knot Jason hisses through his teeth.

“Be quiet,” You mumble, slightly distracted, focused. “M’almost done, two more minutes, okay?” You feel his eyebrow quirk up against the pads of your fingers and a stupid smile curves your lips. “Put that thing down or so help me.”

Jason laughs and you feel the vibrations through your thighs, “Y’don’t scare me.”

It’s involuntary. You do it without thinking. In the back of your head, you wonder if someone has gone in and switched off half of your brain, the part that controls critical thinking. It’s knee jerk, reflective in that strange way people can do things on autopilot.

You pull his hair.

And witness something incredible.

Jason chokes back a groan, the sound trapped and desperate behind his teeth. His pupils blow wide, pretty colour swallowed by something heated, something you’ve never been before. Your breath comes out short, you feel almost giddy at his reaction, like you’re on top of the goddamn world.

Going to open his mouth you move your thumb from his jaw and press it against his plush lips, “Shush, I warned you. Now let me finish.”

Without missing a beat Jason bites your thumb, teeth sinking in hard enough to leave a perfect indent behind. His eyes are almost glittering and you grab his jaw between your thumb and forefinger.

“Todd,” You growl, squeezing tightly enough to get your message across. “Stop being a child.”

Holding him in place you comb your fingers through his hair one last time, satisfied as your fingers run through without catching on any tangles. Tugging at the white streak you twist the strands around your finger until it falls in a perfect little curl.

“There,” You declare, letting him go and leaning back. “Pretty as a picture.”

**

Standing side by side in the kitchen you and Jason work together to clean and dry the dishes. Looking over at him out of the corner of your eye you can’t help but think that domesticity suits him.

Sure, you’ve seen him decked out in his full Red Hood gear, kevlar plates, holsters filled with guns and a scary amount of knives tucked in his combat boots. You’ve seen him tall and broad shouldered and dangerous. But there’s something soft, something aching like a day old bruise at the sight of him in sweatpants and a hoodie helping you wash the dishes.

He suits being soft.

Jason fits into your space like a perfect puzzle piece, slots into the gap you never noticed was missing. He tucks his various angles into your home without a scratch and scathingly, you realise he’s managed to fold himself up small and quiet beside your heart.

Forearm deep in hot soapy water your eye catches his sleeve slipping.

Dropping the cloth from your hands you lean over and push his sleeve back into place, making sure to fold the elastic over his elbow so it doesn’t slip down again. A quick, pleased hum rumbles through your chest and you go back to drying the dishes again without a word.

“Thanks.” Jason mumbles.

There's something different in his voice but you can’t pinpoint what it is, his words are a little thicker than normal, his accent slightly more noticeable. You realise then, that he’s stopped what he’s doing. Goosebumps prickle over his skin and you think he’s cold, think that the slight breeze from the unlatched window in your living room is making him chilly.

A few weeks ago, whilst you were on your way home from work, you stopped to get something, something that at the time didn’t seem like such a big deal. It’s a practical gift, it’s nothing massively important or sentimental.

But it means something.

“Oh, no problem.” You answer, grabbing the next dish from the pile. “What time are you heading out?”

“Trying to get rid of me?” Jason grins, but you see the quick flash of uncertainty across his face. You find yourself wanting to soothe it as quickly as possible.

“Nah, you’re welcome to stay as long as you want.” Putting away the dried dishes and cutlery you press your hip into the counter. “Jus’ curious that's all. Do I have enough time to grab a shower?”

“Yeah.”

Suddenly leaning forwards Jason reaches out, and tenderly tucks a flyway strand of hair behind your ear. His hand, warm from the water lingers by your face, in a moment of weakness he cups your cheek and smooths his thumb across the skin under your eye.

“M’sorry for waking you up.” He whispers and you shake your head.

“You’ve nothing to apologise for, Jason.” There’s a firmness to your voice that doesn’t come out often. “I don’t mind one bit. I’d rather you come here than anywhere else.” Grabbing his wrist, you press your fingers against his pulse point, feeling the quick thud thud thud of his heartbeat. “I mean it, you don’t ever have to be sorry about coming here.”

Jason nods, and you watch as he swallows before letting his hand drop away.

Silently, you mourn the loss of his warmth.

**

Dressed in his Red Hood gear minus the helmet Jason waits by the window.

The latch remains undone, and you feel the chill of Gotham sweep through the apartment as soon as you open your bedroom door. Clenched tight in your hand is the thing you stopped for weeks ago. It’s sat in your bedside table for almost a week straight and every time you’ve thought about it you’ve tried to say it's not a big deal.

But it is a big deal.

Part of you wants to swallow it, maybe throw it away and forget you ever went out of your way to get it. But that other part, the soft part that brushes up against that quiet folded person beside your heart, protests the very thought of throwing it away.

Coming to a stop in front of him you fight to find your voice, “I’ve got something for you.” You start, and your voice shakes. “You don’t have to take it if you don’t want to, okay?”

Jason does a funny thing then, he reaches for you, then yanks himself back.

“Okay.”

Unfurling your fist, you grip the object between your trembling fingers and hold it out.

A key for your apartment.

Jason studies your face intently and you notice that his hands are shaking slightly.

“Thought it would be easier for you than climbing through my window. M’not exactly on the ground floor.” You know your voice sounds unsure, a note of nervousness settling heavy like a stone on your tongue. “You don’t have to take it, okay? I just–”

Your words trail off. It feels like you’re prying open your ribs.

“I just want you to know that you can come here whenever you want, for however long you want.” You open your mouth to speak again but your throat closes up, you think you’re on the verge of crying. “This can–”

Jason looks into your eyes, his face is serious but his dark lashes are wet.

You swallow, “This can be your home too.”

He takes the key from your fingers and folds it tight into his fist, like he never wants to let it go. There’s a split second where everything is silent, it’s as if someone sucked the air from the room and left you in freefall. The next Jason is saying your name, his voice wet and shaking.

“I don’t–”

“It’s okay.” You smile softly when his voice breaks. “Hey. It’s okay, I promise.”

Stepping forwards you reach out with both hands and take his face between your palms. His skin is warm and you fight back the tears building along your lashes when Jason closes his eyes, and lets his tears spill down his cheeks and over your fingers.

“Oh sweetheart,” You breathe, “It’s okay.”

Thumbing them away you tip his head down and press a tender kiss to his forehead.

It’s not a big deal.

But it is.

**

[animehideout]

Hi, how u doin'?

Well, so I thought of this: reader was an UA student and she was in class 1-A with everyone when Bakugou was kidnapped — and so was she. But, for some reason, only Katsuki was rescued by the heroes that night and no one could find the poor reader so they thought she was dead. Years later, however, she shows up out of the blue but with a little surprise for her former friends; she's now a villain and best friends if u know what I mean with Dabi.

Love your writing! ♡

a\n : here's your request I hope you enjoy it and thanks for requesting <3

Title: Cursed Touch

words count: 3615

warnings: angst ending

Ps: sorry about the mistakes it's because of the keyboard and because i type then i delete or change somethings.

Check out happy ending here 💙

How does it feel to be the unlucky one getting kidnapped by the League of Villains ? honored because you present a threat to the villain or scared because you may not make it alive. “At least I have Bakugo with me” you said to yourself then shook your head “I shouldn’t rely on others, not this time” you thought. You’ve been always insecure about your abilities, about your quirk and the way you fight. Of course you want to be the number one hero one day but you’ve always underestimated your potential, you thought that you don’t stand a chance when Shoto Izuku and Bakugo take all the light spots. Your quirk is dangerous you can make someone suffer physically, you can both increase or decrease the pain depending on your emotions and all of that happens when you touch your target. You’re still learning how to control it so you don’t activate it at the wrong timing in order to not harm innocent people including your friends and teachers. Well about your friends you don’t really have them, let’s say only a few people including Izuku and Uraraka. Both of them treat you nicely and believe that you’ll be able to control it one day. However others, they’re either scared to approach you( because many accidents happened in the past) or bullying you Bakugo and Sero they call you cursed touch. You hated the fact that they’re the reason to you being insecure all the time but you still tried your best to be a hero. “I’m warning you for the last time you know that the heros will arrive soon ! THEY’LL CRUSH YOU ALL” said Bakugo smirking clearly not scared of any of the villains gathered in front of you both. “calm down explosion boy, we only want to talk both of you will miss great opportunities if you don’t join us ” said Shigaraki giving Dabi a look. Dabi nodded and approached you “c’mon let’s take you somewhere else” in contrast to Bakugo you were clearly terrified, Dabi gave you soft looks guiding you to another place. “ LEAVE HER ALONE “yelled Bakugo standing up from his seat only to receive a punch “I said calm down we only need to separate you” “Y\N I’LL SAVE YOU I PROMISE” you looked at Bakugo tears gathering in your eyes but you tried to hold them back “ save me from who Katsuki huh? From you? What makes you different from? Villains harm others physically but who damages others mentally huh? YOU DID !” you screamed , you’ve never liked Bakugo, at first you were excited you wanted to be friends with all of them but they only pushed you away you grew hating on him because of his harsh words that pierced holes through your heart. “I hate you Bakugo but I promise I’ll be able to save myself so no need to help me” you added, he only stared at you blankly, did you really just say that? Did his words really hurt you that much? Shigaraki looked at Dabi both smirking , the hate inside you is able to turn you into a villain. You walked your way through the hallway with Dabi turning your back to Bakugo. Thoughts rushed in your mind, did you do the right thing by saying that? Will you be able to save yourself? You were busy thinking when Dabi spoke “ Do you hate him that much?” you ignored him “ it’s okay to feel that way, sometimes hatred is not a bad thing because it unlocks a strength in you “he added, you looked at him frowning “are you trying to comfort me?” he chuckled and said “well let’s say I felt the same way a long time ago” “huh what do you mean?” “I mean when I expressed my hatred toward someone, I felt free and strong because I faced them” you looked down realizing that you actually felt free the moment your harsh words left your lips, “I don’t why I-“ “why you let them inside for a long time and didn’t face him sooner ?” you stared at him in shock you were about to say the same words “h-how did y-you know?” “because we feel the same *he smiled* and I assure you it’s was the right moment it’s because of the accumulation of feelings or bad ones to be specific” you nodded and looked down, “his words make sense” you thought to yourself. “where are we going now?” you said breaking the silence once again “ hum a more private place

so we can talk” “why didn’t we talk there?” “because you and Bakugo have different mind sets he’s blinded by the idea of being a hero” “I WANT TO BE A HERO TOO” you yelled and stopped walking “hey hey relax, being blinded by something is actually a bad thing cause it makes him neglect greater opportunities! oh here we are please sit so we can talk “ “don’t ever try to convince me because I-“ “please just listen to me first then I promise I’ll let you choose your destiny” “huh? You’ll set me free?” “y-yes I will” “is this the plan of the very know League of Villains?” “the thing i-ss that it’s m-my plan! They don’t know about it” “and what if I’m not convinced and run away what would you tell them” “they already know your quirk and how powerful it is so no one can blame me” he said avoiding your eyes. Your eyes widened are you really that powerful does he mean that you’re actually stronger than Bakugo. That was all what you can think about. Not gonna lie but his words boosted your confidence, no one made you feel confident before all of the other made you feel weak and passive . you hesitantly asked him “do you think i would surpass him?” “you are already! That’s why others are bullying and avoiding you because they know you’re better than them” said Dabi giving you a soft smile, you smiled to yourself no one appreciated you this way before, not even your family “then why do they win and I lose?” “because of fear, they made you think that you’re not able to win to the point that you started doubting your quirk” “it was their plan from the beginning” you said “ I really hate them” you whispered “ did the teachers try to defend you once?” he asked so you shook your head in disappointment “ they only gave me pitiful looks that I don’t need I know they instructed me to how to control my quirk bbut- “ “some people are not meant to be heroes “ he said and topped for a moment approaching you and grabbing your hand “ because they’re meant to be something greater that would lead them to glory “ he added squeezing you hand “w-why are you doing this? Why are being good to me?” you said your eyes not leaving his , he looked away and said “b-because I can relate to you I feel that we’re connected in some way” “h-how?” he took a deep breath and added “because I like you (y\n )” you looked at him in disbelief “please don’t lie to me! Why would you like someone like me? Besides we just met! “ “no maybe you just met me but I feel like I know you very well it’s like you’re a reflection of me, I can relate to your pain , your anger and hatred besides I appreciate you and your quirk you’re really strong and special and that’s catchy ” his words shocked you as much as it made you happy. It was the first time someone holds your hands without being scared of your ‘cursed touch’, it was the first time someone calls you strong instead of ‘so damn weak’ and it was the first time someone confess to you. It was all new, and you liked it. Dabi pulled his hands “ I won’t force in anything, if you choose to leave I’ll make sure to the villains away from you even though I know that you’re able to take all of them down “ he said and looked away sad expressions drawn on his beautiful scarred face “ but I really hope you don’t miss your opportunity to shine” you bit your lower lip, it wasn’t easy for you to take a decision especially under such circumstances. What if Dabi is lying to you? But he’s the only one who made you happy after all this time but his expressions were convincing and why would a cold villain like him act vulnerable in front of you. You took a few steps towards him and finally said “I’m in” his eyes immediately lit up and hugged you tightly “thank you for trusting me , I promise you’ll never regret this” you pulled away “ a-about your feelings-“ “it’s okay take your time I’ll wait for you” he said smiling again. *meanwhile* “sensei what about her?” said Bakugo worriedly “ don’t worry young Bakugo we’ll find her and bring her back safe” “what if that bastard kills her? I would never forgive myself” “shh young Bakugo she’ll be safe and

we need you to be safe now go and join your friends they all rushed to save you” he nodded a left that place joining Deku, Kirishima and the others then went to the dorms. “if something happens to her I would never forgive myself even if she forgives me” said Bakugo to himself wiping a tear. Two weeks passed and none of the heroes could find you, they searched everywhere but for nothing, there’s no trace no hint of you. Everyone started losing hope of finding you and started spreading rumors of you being killed by the League of Villains. Meanwhile you were working on your quirk with Dabi. He helped you a lot and took care of you all the time. The others treated well too but you only trusted Dabi, he was your safe place. He made everything much easier . and comfortable and you were slowly falling for him without realizing it. You were busy with him and Shigaraki working on some plans for your next target when Toga entered the room laughing and “ haha(y\n) they really thought we killed you” all of you looked at her “huh what do you mean?” “quickly turn the TV on” ‘A UA student kidnapped and killed by the League of Villains’ said the host ‘is the UA still able to create heroes? Because apparently your students aren’t even able to use their quirks to defend themselves’ asked the host looking at All might ‘ and why didn’t you search the whole city?’. Your face dropped did they really give up on you? did they really thought you’re weak and unable to defend yourself? Are you a disappointment? when Dabi noticed your sad face he quickly shut the TV before hearing All might’s statement . “ don’t mind them they’re wrong and they’ll regret it” said Shigaraki. You couldn’t face anyone especially Dabi so you left the room before breaking down into tears. “ ah Dabi you should teach her the villain spirit as soon as possible we can’t handle emotion here” exclaimed Shigaraki in annoyance. Dabi left the room to find you. He found you on the rooftop crying “(y\n)!!”you quickly wiped your tears but you couldn’t hide the redness and the puffiness “and managed to say “I hate them all” , “c-can I hold you?” said Dabi sitting next to you, you sniffed and nodded getting closer to him. His arms strongly held you to his chest, he played with your hair to help you relax a bit “you’re so good to me” you said out of the blue “ I can’t thank you enough” “ hey hey listen! They’ll regret what they said, they’ll regret underestimating you. All of them that host , your teachers , your classmates…they’re not worth your tears because soon you’ll make them cry in pain” he said proudly. At first you opposed the idea of causing serious injuries but after seeing the rumors and people’s reactions you realized that who you thought were innocent in the past are now you’re enemies “yes I will”you said as you tightened your grip around Dabi’s waist. The sun was setting and the breeze was refreshing everything was perfect especially you being in Dabi’s arms. You realized how much you needed this feeling in your life, how much you are touch straved and how much you needed only his touches. You pulled away and said “I’m sure I can do this Dabi I can make them suffer but I want you to be by my side…a-always” he grabbed your chin and looked at you, you got lost in his eyes “Dabi I love you” without hesitation he kissed you, his lips were soft sucking on your lower lip. You closed your eyes giving up to the sweet feeling, his hands rubbed your waist up to your chest and landing on your neck pulling you even closer. Your hands are lost in his hair tugging the soft strands. The kiss was passionate it was a mix of love, anger, sadness, happiness. Both of you finally pulled away breathless, breathing heavily and looking deeply at each other “wow” he said you blushed at his reaction “s-so we’re together now?” you asked playing with your hands “yes we are..and we’ll forever be” he answered flashing each other bright smiles. Months passed and you’re getting more and more into the villains’ work, you quickly learned all the rules and started thinking like them. Your

relationship with Shigaraki and the others got better and you put a bit of trust in them. You helped them setting evil plans like robbing places, kidnapping hostages and threatening people but you never showed your real identity you kept it for the big day as the other villains call it. The day where all of you will break into UA and set it on fire including all the teachers and students. You used your quirk perfectly actually it is more powerful. Training with Dabi improved your skills a lot “tch stupid teachers they didn’t see potential in me they only focused on that idiot Bakugo and Deku, now I can lift them and their audacity” you said to yourself wiping the sweat. You committed a lot of crimes along with Dabi, you were the badass duo pairing up together on each mission taking down people together, robbing and setting places on fire. It’s been a year now and tomorrow is the big day, after a lot of training after many tears whenever you remember your old self but also after many happy moments with your partner Dabi after many nights spent together feeling each other up, he made you feel like no one else on this planet finally you were ready to take down the place where you hoped to be the number one hero one day but look at you now. You looked at your reflection in the mirror and said “ you can do it (y\n), you’ll show them who’s the strongest “ a said smile drawn on your face, will you be able to hurt people that were a big part in your life? You were again spacing out when Dabi tapped your shoulder “we’ll do it together” you nodded then both of you laid on bed trying to sleep before starting the big mission. *In the morning* Dabi pecked your lips “ you’re ready babygirl?” “yeah”. You’ll be the first one to get into UA then you’ll help others to get in. you waited until everyone gathered then entered, the security guard was shocked to see you “ hello”you smiled “ long time no see “ he approached you to shake your hand “oh my god It’s nice to see you again (y\n) tell me what happened” “I’m sure you’ll know very soon sir” you smirked shaking his hand making him fall on the ground growling in pain he held his knees to his chest “please s-stop” “ I can’t I’m too lazy to inactivate my quirk” “p-plea-“ but before he can finish it he fainted. You’re quirk was too unbearable. You sent Dabi a message informing him to get in. Now you’re in the center of the school, you took you’re hood off and said “HELLO EVERYONE” everyone looked at you in shock. After a year? You came back? How did you escape the villains? Everyone rushed towards you hugging you “so now they’re acting like they care” you said to yourself while flashing them an innocent smile ”(y\n)”said Bakugo “you’re alive! “ he added and rushed towards you giving you a warm hug. You would be the happiest if they did that before, if they cared before, but it’s too late now. You waited for the right moment to affect them all with your quirk “young (y\l\n)” said All might rushing towards you “are you okay? I’m so proud of you! you fought alone” he added “glad to see you again” said Aizawa. “yes I’m okay, I’m alive” you stopped for a moment “ but soon all of you will be dead” you added giving them a cold stare, in less than a second everyone was on the ground hissing in pain most of them started crying begging you to stop “p-please!” “HELL NO I WONT STOP DO YOU KNOW THE PAIN I FELT WHEN I WAS A STUDENT HERE? ANSWER ME! HAH OF COURSE YOU WONT CAUSE YOU NEVER CARED” you said then the other villains joined you “ good job (y\n) !” exclaimed Shigaraki “what?” said Bakugo “h-how ? how could you do that? You joined them? You forgot about your friends and teac-“ “you did Bakugo! All of you did! Why are you putting all the blame on me huh? You didn’t even bother looking for me, I’m sure you didn’t even cry over the stupid rumors, and now enjoy mu ‘cursed touch’” “no we did all of us did” said Deku through pain, your heart ached a bit at his sight he was the only one beside Uraraka who treated you well. “ young (y\l\n) your friends spent days and nights looking for you they never

gave up on you, they all had hope that you’re alive , especially Bakugo they even encountered many of who you consider now friends ” you doubted his words a bit “then how come I didn’t know about-“ you stopped when you realized you looked back at Dabi and the others “ you knew about it?” “TELL HER YOU SCARRED FACE YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU KILLED HER”yelled Shoto “D-dabi? “ you looked at him in shock “w-why didn’t you tell me? You said that you’re not keeping secrets from the person you love” you said your voice cracking “WHY DID YOU LIE TO ME DABI?” “are they dating?” said shoto in disbelief , everyone trying to process the situation through the pain you planted in their boodies “haha person I love?” laughed Dabi “it’s not the first time lying to you babygirl you were too madly in love with me to be blinded like that”he added in an offensive tone you took a step towards him “D-dabi what do you mean? I thought you loved me you said I’m too special and-“ “and you fortunately believed it” “poor girl” said Shigaraki “you expect him to love a desperate UA student?” “your quirk is too powerful too strong that we needed it so bad” said Dabi “and after committing many crimes that we longed for and after reaching this point you’re useless” you stared blankly you hated the sympathy looks that you received from the teachers and students “I’ve never loved and I’ll never will such a fool *looked at you coldly* you really expected a villain like would love a stupid UA girl like you “ “how dare you?” you said in tears “I lost my friends, teachers and dream to be with you-“ “trust me even if you stayed at UA that lame dream of yours would never be achieved, you have the strongest quirk yes but you don’t have the potential, you’re too naïve to the point that we abducted you cause we knew you’re an easy target, easy to manipulate…villains hacks“ he laughed earning laughs from the others , at this point you tried to slap to Dabi but he dodged you making you fall on the ground “Not gonna lie that I had my fun with that delicate body but overall it was the worst year of my life ..stuck with you”. The effect of your quirk decreased, it was guided by your emotions and at that moment you felt weak and broken hearted. Eventually your quirk was inactivated; your body couldn’t handle or control it. The teachers and students were finally able to stand up and the fight began between the Heroes and the Villains. Everything around you moved in slow motion. You stared at the blurry scene in front of you because of all the tears. You collected yourself and left them fighting not able face the people you betrayed and not able to hurt the man you loved. You left everything behind trying to forget about what happened. You realized that you’re not meant to be neither a hero nor a villain you can just be a broken fool who believed a big lie called love.

[carry-the-sky]

Kastle + 2 for the touch writing prompts 💕

based on the prompt: a touch with relief

also on ao3

shout out to @onebatch2batch and @ninzied 💕

.

She’s late.

Frank’s eyes dart to his phone. Screen’s dark, same as it was when he glanced at it a minute ago. No missed calls, no texts. He swigs his coffee, more to swallow down the muted panic in his throat than anything else.

“Fresh cup for your friend, honey?”

Frank looks up. The waitress—Jo, her name tag reads—is nodding at the mug of coffee he ordered for Karen when he got here.

His eyes linger on it a moment before he shakes his head. “I’m good, ma’am. She’s, uh—she’s on her way.”

Frank must look as keyed-up as he feels, because Jo offers him a gentle smile. “You got it,” she says. “Just holler when she gets here, okay?”

Then she’s walking off. Probably assumes he got stood up by a date, and hell—he almost wishes that’s what this was. At least he could shrug that off, carry on with his day instead of sitting across from an empty booth, chest slowly going tight with dread.

Frank pushes back from the table, forces himself to breathe. Maybe something came up at work—a deadline got pushed up or a source backed out last-minute and Ellison’s got her holed up at the office doing damage control—

His hand twitches for his phone. They’ve been meeting for lunch pretty regularly for the past month or so, but Karen always shoots him a text the day before to confirm. He scans her last message in their thread—Tomorrow still good? Same place as last week?—and something in his chest twinges. Maybe it’s an occupational hazard, or maybe it’s just her way of making sure he won’t bail—either way, Frank can’t blame her. He’s far from atoning for the way he left things that day at the hospital. It’s a small miracle she let him back into her life at all.

Frank’s eyes flick to the time at the top of the screen. It’s going on twenty past the hour. Hell with it—maybe he’s being paranoid, but his gut says something’s off. He hits the call button next to her name.

It goes straight to voicemail.

His pulse stutters. It doesn’t mean anything, it doesn’t mean—

He tries her again.

Hi, you’ve reached Karen Page. Please leave your name and number and I’ll get back—

Shit. Frank swipes over to his contacts, scrolls until he finds the number for the Bulletin’s front desk.

“New York Bulletin,” a cheerful voice answers on the second ring. “How may I direct your call?”

“Is Karen Page in?” he asks, straining to keep his voice steady.

He knows what the answer will be, but it still lands like a gut-punch when the receptionist tells him that Ms. Page is currently out of the office. His hand is shaking when he hangs up.

Jo is making the rounds again, and Frank doesn’t miss the sympathetic glance she shoots in his direction. He takes a deep breath through his nose, slow and steady to counter the hammer of his heart. He needs to focus, think.

Hanging around her office is a non-starter—he’s let his beard grow out, but his face has been plastered across the front page enough times that the damn receptionist would probably recognize him now. He could try Karen’s place on the off chance she ran home—

Frank’s fingers twitch against his phone. He should get up, move, do something other than sit here with this familiar tension cranking up his sternum. One thought spins on a turntable in his head—something’s wrong. Something’s wrong. He let his guard down, let himself breathe for one goddamn second, and now—if something happened to her—

The world narrows, tilts like a kaleidoscope. He needs air.

He’s dimly aware of standing, tossing a few bills on the table before he’s out the door. The street is thick with noise—people laying on their horns, distant sirens, someone shouting. He focuses on each individual sound, anchors his breath to the steady thrum of the city around him.

He’s not sure how long he stands there—a few minutes, maybe. Long enough for his vision to stop swimming, for the pounding in his ears to subside. Long enough to register his phone, buzzing in his hand.

Her number’s flashing across the screen.

Frank fumbles to answer, almost dropping his phone in the process. “Karen, hey—”

“Frank,” she replies, and relief floods his veins at the sound of her voice. “I’m so sorry—my phone decided to automatically update right as I was leaving for lunch, and then when you didn’t show—I was getting worried.”

He frowns, trying to process her words. “Where—where are you?”

“Sal’s. Why, didn’t you—” she pauses. “Wait, did you go to Cinco’s?”

Frank turns her text from last night over in his head. Same place as last week. They definitely grabbed lunch at Cinco’s—he’d ordered extra steak fries with his burger, just to let her swipe a few from his plate—but, shit, that’s right—they’d swung by a new place afterwards for dessert, some local café that had just opened.

We should try this place for lunch sometime, Karen had said in between bites of her raspberry scone. Frank remembers the dusting of sugar across her upper lip, remembers the small heart attack it gave him when she’d licked it clean.

“Think there might’ve been a misunderstanding,” he tells her now, cheeks warm. Karen just laughs in response as it all clicks together, and Frank lets the sound wash over him, the warmth of it dissolving the tension in his chest. She’s laughing. She’s okay.

“Lesson learned,” she says. “Be more specific. And make sure the phone isn’t going to update.”

“Wouldn’t be a problem if you had one like mine.”

“Not a chance. There’s old-fashioned, and then there’s prehistoric.” There’s a beat of silence, and he knows she’s smiling on the other end of the line. “Listen, I have to head back early today, but are you free for lunch tomorrow? I owe you some fries from Cinco’s, at the very least.”

“Works for me,” Frank says. “Sure you don’t wanna write that down, just to be safe? That’s C-I-N—”

“Shut up, Frank.”

It’s his turn to grin. “Tomorrow, then.”

“Tomorrow,” she echoes.

He stays on the line until she hangs up, weightless with relief even as his blood still hums with adrenaline. It was just a miscommunication—but when his eyes squeeze shut, he’s right back in that hotel watching Lewis drag her into the elevator, praying to whoever the fuck was listening that she’d still be breathing when he got to her.

He knew, even then, what it would mean to lose her. Lose her without her ever knowing—

Make it mean something.

About damn time he did.

.

Karen’s waiting for him when he gets there the next day, sitting in the same booth he was. Her eyes snap to him as he pushes through the front door, and then she’s standing, and somehow before he’s fully aware it’s happening, he’s pulling her close, burying his face in the slope of her neck, breathing her in.

She’s warm. Her arms cinch around his shoulders, drawing him in even closer, and he smells something floral, soft and clean when her hair brushes his cheek. They stay like that a moment, holding onto each other—then she gently pulls back, and the loss of contact aches like a bruise. As he slides into the booth across from her, it’s all he can do to keep from reaching for her again.

Jo comes by with coffee, gives Frank a wink that could be seen from outer space as she slides Karen a mug. When he ducks a glance at Karen, she’s pressing her lips together like she’s trying not to smile.

“How long were you sitting here yesterday?” she asks.

Frank grips his own mug tightly to keep his fingers from shaking. “Not long. Felt like—longer than it was.”

He tries to keep his voice light, but he never did have a very good poker face. And they don’t do that. They don’t lie to each other.

When he looks again, Karen’s face has softened. She reaches across the table, rests a hand against his forearm. “Frank—”

He recognizes her tone of voice, knows she’s about to apologize for something that’s not her fault. After all his bullshit, everything he’s put her through—she’s still the one telling him she’s sorry. She’s still all heart. The ache in his chest digs its roots in, blooms until he can hardly breathe.

“Hey.” He tilts his head to catch her gaze, holds it. “I’m good. Yeah? Might chuck your phone in the Hudson first chance I get, but—”

He’s hoping the jab will pull a smile from her, and it almost does. Her mouth crinkles at the corners. “Still,” she says. “I didn’t mean to worry you.”

He just looks at her—eyes bright and blue and open, and shit, he’s gonna kick himself for the rest of his life for taking his sweet time telling her exactly what she means to him. He slowly turns his arm until his hand grazes her wrist, her palm, and then he’s threading his fingers through hers.

“I’m always gonna worry, Karen. I know you can handle yourself, that’s not what—” he cuts off as she gives his hand a gentle squeeze, swallows thickly before saying— “You’re the most important person in my life. You’re everything. I’m never gonna not worry.”

Now she’s smiling, mouth curved like a moon as she looks down at his hand in hers. “You mean that, Frank?”

“I’m sorry it took me so long to get off my ass about it, but—this thing, Karen, you and me—if you’re in, I’m in. I’m all in.”

He’s not sure it’s happening until it’s happening—one second Karen’s leaning across the booth, the next her lips are on his.

He barely has time to process the softness of her mouth, the warmth of her hand cupping his jaw, before she’s sitting back, looking as stunned as he feels.

“I take it back,” he says, a little hoarse. “What I said about your phone. Damn thing should update every day.”

Karen just laughs, and they both lean in again.

[sweetestlamb]

You’ve Got a Friend in Me

Summary: You deserve to be my brother. 

Author’s Note: I won’t go on a rant here many of you have already done so and much more eloquently than I can, Han Seo deserved to live and I think it would have been so much more original and refreshing if they didn’t kill the victimized character who was finally getting a second lease on life with his new family. If any of you read BMTL you know that I have a weak spot for abused characters and when they are treated this way I can’t stand for it. So join me here in this alternate reality where puppy does not die and instead he gets the love and rebirth that he deserves. 

Everything is white hot pain, and he wonders if this is what death feels like and if so why must this suffering follow him even into death? When will he finally be free from agony if not now? There are a flurry of sounds surrounding him but nothing decipherable until he hears, “Clear!” a voice shouts in the distance but he doesn’t know who that is, where exactly would someone like him go after death? Surely he hasn’t atoned enough for his sin of compliance to be granted a passage to pearly gates or a gracious omnipresent presence, there is only one place for someone like him. Hell. 

It doesn’t scare him, not with the life that he has lived. His hell started a long time ago, with a father that couldn’t be bothered with him no matter how many bruises and cuts littered his prepubescent body. Those very marks put there by the one person he desperately wanted to please, his hyung. That has been hell, a long enduring and never-ending hell and almost demonically poetic that was the cause of his very demise. The bullet through his ribs was nothing compared to every day of his life, up until he met Vincenzo and saw what living was supposed to be like. He had never truly lived before and the very moment he had started that had been snatched from his bloody hands. 

Fuck it all. He was ready to go. 

But regardless of his acceptance the pain sears on and he can see the ghastly face of Vincenzo peering down at him, eyes red rimmed and those words that he had longed to hear since he was born into his world and realized that there was someone whom he was supposed to call brother. 

You deserve to be my brother. 

“We’re losing him! Let’s do it again, clear!” 

Electricity floods his body and its nothing like anything he has ever felt before and he can feel his consciousness fading away, his thoughts drifting away until there is nothing left behind, just silence and regrets. 

Beep...Beep....Beep....Beep.... 

The constant sound jars him from his slumber and once again pain resurges in his body winding him before he can even bring himself to peel his heavy eyelids open, that battle almost enough to defeat him but he can feel a presence beside him and an unexplainable desperation forces him to see who it is. It feels like his very life depends on it. 

Little by little, he starts to peer his eyes open feeling the strain as he tenses and squirms under the pressure and finally they are open and his vision swirls unfocused and dizzy, staring at a painfully white ceiling and one single yellow tinted light. His brain supplies his location, the hospital. And then it takes a longer moment to realize the implications of his whereabouts, but after a moment’s pause he gasps feeling the dryness of his tongue and the cracks on his lips. Everything hurts, every fiber of his being is in insufferable agony but he almost weeps because that only means he’s alive. Somehow he had survived. 

With the minor strength he has he turns his head towards the figure next to him and his breath comes out in a shocked huff when he sees the dark figure in the chair, they had said their final goodbyes already and he had accepted that the only true brother that he’d had was taken from him, punishment for being born in this family. Yet, Vincenzo sits there sleeping looking pained even in his slumber a grimace across his face and his brows furrowed in distress. immediately he thinks about Ms. Hong, the blood staining her shirt and her body crumpling to the ground as she took a bullet for the man she loved. If Vincenzo was here with him looking like that did that mean she was...? 

No. It couldn’t be. His brother had already taken away Vincenzo’s mother he couldn’t have stolen the woman he loved too. That was simply too cruel a fate for the man. But why else would the man be here? This thought drives him to move, only able to move his hand but it’s enough to knock the consigliere from his peace less rest, he wakes as if he was not sleeping in the first place eyes immediately blinking open and hyper focused. He vaguely wonders if that is a survival skill of all members of the Mafia? 

They stare wordlessly at each other and before he can say a word Vincenzo is reaching across the small space and embracing him, his arms are ever gentle as they pull him in and his head is stuffed into the other man’s neck. He lays frozen unprepared for the sudden show of affection and still not used to hands on his body without the purpose of harming him but then his brain swirls to life and he pushes past the pain to reach up and clutch at the smooth material of Vincenzo’s suit jacket. At the first press of his fingers the other man grips him tighter, almost crushing him into his chest and it hurts, puts too much pressure on his wound but he won’t say anything doesn’t dare. This is the first time someone has hurt him because they cared about him. He wants to hold on to this precious moment forever. 

“I’m so happy you’re okay. You lost so much blood and I really thought--” 

“How’s Miss Hong? She is....Is that why you’re here? Please don’t tell me he really did it...Did he really kill her?” 

He starts shaking at the notion, tears pooling in his eyes imagining the woman’s dead cold body. 

It should have been me instead. 

As carefully he held him Vincenzo releases him, those large gentle hands warm and soothing on his trembling shoulders. 

“She’s fine. She’s in the room next to you. It’s all thanks to you, I can never thank you enough.”

Relief washes over him like a wave, he’s too weak to do anything but fall back into the plush bed beneath him. 

She was okay. Thank goodness. 

“What are you doing here? You should be with her. Go now, I’m not as important.” He means every word, he has never been anyone’s priority, no that’s for others he is nothing more than a nuisance and a punching bag. 

“What are you saying? Do you remember what I said to you before you fainted?

He does. How could he forget? But that was merely something said in the heat of the moment. Or so he had thought but that thought was enough for him to welcome the hands of death. 

“I see you remember. You are important to me. You’re my brother Han Seo-ah.” 

He can’t fight the smile that tentatively crawls across his face, “You meant it? it wasn’t just because I was dying?” He asks sheepishly and he squeaks in pain when a finger flicks his across the nose, looking up affronted but giddy with the possibilities. 

“I wouldn’t lie to someone on their death bed, I have principles you know.” Vincenzo huffs at him, striding across the room to pour a glass of water and he watches the liquid earnestly. When the older man pushes the tempting beverage in his direction he desperately wants to grab it but he finds that he can’t his body refusing to move. 

“Can you help me drink it?” He watches the older man stare back at him, an eyebrow raised as he looks at him and peers back helplessly, “Please Hyung,” and surprisingly enough that’s all it takes for the Vincenzo to carefully cup his head and tilt the glass on his mouth, allowing the glorious nectar to soothe his parched throat. A dribble leaks out of the side of his mouth and he’s further floored when the other man wipes it away with a napkin, guiding him back against his pillows. 

He tries to school his face into something less pathethic and pitiful but he knows that he’s not doing a great job, he can’t help it there has never been anyone like this for him. Never anyone who cared about him as Han Seo, not a pawn or someone to use or abuse, it’d enough to make everything he has gone through worth while. 

He can’t contain his joy watching his brother tug up his sheet and tell him to get some rest, he’s never fallen asleep so easily and without a care in the world. He has nothing to fear, now that he has Vincenzo. 

He gets more visitors. 

People from the plaza that used to look at him with distrustful eyes, now they bring him food and one time when he needs to use the bathroom the lady from the pawnshop singlehandedly lifts him and carries him to the toilet, his cheeks hurt from blushing and he makes everyone in the room promise to never mention it again. 

They mention it at least four times a visit. 

Sometimes even re-enacting it for the people who weren’t there on the day. 

Ms. Hong laughs the loudly, ignoring Vincenzo’s helicoptering and warnings of her opening her wound, none of it stops her and he watches with soft eyes as the woman easily rests her head on his shoulder when she starts to feel lightheaded. 

They are so sickening obvious sometimes. 

He gets used to the company so days later when he finds himself alone, his insecurities rear their ugly heads. Telling him that they’ve forgotten him and they were only being kind because of Vincenzo and Ms. Hong, they didn’t really care about him or like him and those thoughts muffle his awareness preventing him from hearing the door slide open or the almost unperceivable footsteps that follow. 

“You look better than I expected.” 

He freezes at the voice, staring at his fingers because he’s not yet ready to face her. 

He tried not to notice that she never came with the others, but that was futile and the hole in his chest stretched wider and wider each time they would show up and her glowing figure was missing. 

“Did you hurt your mouth?” 

He smarts at the comment, hurt by her seemingly dismissive attitude to him laying in a hospital bed. 

“Like you care. You never visited before.” 

Instantly he regrets the comment, she owes him nothing. They are nothing after all, barely even acquaintances. This crush is unrequited and he has no right taking out his frustrations on her, he was being too greedy. 

He opens his mouth to apologize. 

“I....... don’t like hospitals. They feel too much like the end.” 

He stills at her chilling words, mouth slightly gaped. 

Was she worried about him? Enough so that seeing him in a hospital bed was too jarring? 

That couldn’t be it. 

Could it? 

“I’m sorry I didn’t come earlier. I always asked about you.” 

A frown is etched into her pretty face and he can’t stand it so much that he blurts out, “ The pawn shop lady carried me to the bathroom once! I have never been so embarrassed, why is she so strong?!” 

She stares at him blankly before a beatific smile dances across her pale pink lips, and he hears her laughter for the first time. 

It is melodic, like keys ringing on a piano and the sound is captivating enough to fill his entire room and he wishes he could bottle it up and listen to it whenever he wanted to. 

She stays. 

Longer than he expected and he tries not to smile too large but it’s hard when she’s shooting him that contagious smile. They watch game shows on a laptop that she pulls out of thin air and he laughs nervously as she explains how she once hacked and ruined the life of a man who wouldn’t take no for an answer when she was a waitress at a bar. 

She’s scary, like most people at the plaza but he’s dangerously attracted to her like a fly to a light. 

He doesn’t recall falling asleep but he mumbles contentedly when he feels her tuck the blanket tighter around his body, soft deft fingers running across his fringe before he succumbs to the pull of unconsciousness. 

“Good night puppy.” 

He doesn’t mean to overhear, wasn’t trying to eavesdrop at all but he saw the light on in Miss Hong’s room and immediately the worst came to mind. 

Han Seok is here to finish the job. 

So he races to the door, ready to defend her by any means even if that means putting his life at risk, again. His hand is on the door knob twisting and silently he pushes the door open, stepping in before realizing there is no danger. 

At least not to them, he can’t say the same for the victims of his brother. 

Vincenzo looks tired, achingly so. 

He feels a pang in his own chest watching the sunken face of the other man as he watches Miss Hong, her eyelashes fluttering wildly in her sleep. He makes to exit the room but the low rumble of Vincenzo’s voice halts him in his track, he has never heard the other man sound so forlorn. 

“This is all my fault. You would have been safe if you never met me.” 

He blinks, taken back at the heartbreaking confession. 

Did Vincenzo truly believe that? That they would have been safer without him? It’s the biggest lie he’s ever heard and he has to bite his tongue to stop himself from responding to the fallacy. 

“You deserve better than me. I am a scum and you....you’re different Cha-young ah.” 

He has never heard the older man call her that before. 

“I should just disappear out of your life, that’s the best gift I could give to you. Leaving you alone and letting you live your life.” 

No. He wants to scream listening to this and he realizes that these words remind him of someone, someone who has had all these thoughts before. 

I am useless. Nobody wants me. It would be better if I disappeared. 

Vincenzo sounds like all of his darkest thoughts, said aloud. He has to grip the door to stop himself from running over to the man and pulling him into a tight hug. He can feel his pain all the way across the room. 

“That would be best for you. But I can’t,” his voice cracks, “Every time I think about leaving you, it hurts. It hurts Cha-young. I want to stay with you. I want to be the one who makes you smile,” He watches his brother gently pick up her limp hand, sandwiching it between both of his. It’s such a tender moment, he should leave. 

“Everyone I loves dies, that’s my fate. My punishment. I had accepted that...before you and Han Seo and my...mom. Now I’m greedy and I don’t want to lose anyone. I don’t want to lose you, please...stay with me.” Vincenzo crumples at the side of the bed, his ungelled hair blocking his eyes now as he lays his head on Ms. Hong’s hand pleading with her and finally he pulls the door open and steps back into the hallway, he doesn’t realize he’s crying until he slips back into his bed. 

When the knock sounds at his door, he calls out with no idea of who could be visiting him, a certain pretty pianist flashes in his mind but he pushes that desire to the back of his mind. 

He sits up at the sight of Ms. Hong shakily entering his room, Vincenzo’s disapproving face flashing in his mind. 

“Ms. Hong you shouldn’t be moving around, hyung would be upset if he saw you.” 

She stares at him with wide eyes and he stares back placidly before realizing what he just said. He slaps a hand over his mouth, remorseful and ashamed. He has never called Vincenzo that in front of anyone else, too embarrassed to see the question on their face and terrified that the other man would deny him in front of others. Maybe Vincenzo wanted to keep this as a secret? Why would he want a needy idiot like him following him around and embarrassing him? His cheeks burn and he brings his gaze to the floor. 

“Don’t. Whatever you’re thinking stop. He calls you his brother too, you are brothers now. Don’t doubt that Vincenzo always keeps his word.” 

He feels naked beneath her stare, shocked at how easily she can see through him. Was he really that obvious? 

“I wanted to talk to you.” 

He gulps nervously, watching at the older women wobbles across the room before gracelessly falling into the chair beside his bed, he reaches out to help her smiling back when she grins at him, he tries not to blush when she pats his cheek in gratitude, the movement all too motherly. 

“What did I do wrong?” He replies, and there is deafening silence before she answers, “You poor thing. Life must have been so hard before, you must have struggled so much.” 

He is completely and utterly unprepared for the words and he cannot stop the tears that well up and collapse at her genuine concern. 

“It's okay. You have us now and we’ll never let him hurt you again.” 

He cries, harder than he ever has before. Longer than he has ever allowed himself to cry, he cries for his youth, for his innocence, for the young Han Seo who just wanted to be loved. His body shakes from the tremors of his sorrow, liquid pain streaming down his face. 

“It wasn’t your fault. You didn’t deserve any of it. You did well, you did so well. I am so proud of you.” 

When she runs a tentative hand across his brow, he chokes on his tears sinking deeper into the bed. 

“I wanted you to know that you are my family too. You saved us both and I can never thank you enough, I would be honored if you considered me a sister too.” 

He lays in disbelief, unable to fathom how he has gained a brother and a sister in such a short expanse of time. There are no words, he nods quickly. Letting his tears continue to fall. 

She lets him cry, a serene smile on her face as he shakes apart in front of her. Softly whispering, “You did so well. I’m so proud of you.” Over and over again, tattooing it into his skin.

Words he has never heard before. 

Words he has longed for all his life. 

Time ticks by and before he knows it, it is nearing midnight. They had simply sat together in solace for hours. 

“You should go get some rest,” he states quietly and for once she doesn’t argue nodding in agreement before squeezing his hand and standing up, only a little wobbly this time. 

“You too. Sleep well Han Seo-ah.” He nods, watching her retreating form as she nears the door and impulsively he calls out, “Noona!” and it feels strange on his tongue, even newer than hyung but his heart warms at the brilliant smile she sends his way, turning back at his outcry, “Hmm?” she replies tilting her head curiously at him. 

“You know don’t you?” 

She stares, head tilting further and he knows she knows exactly what he means. 

“You weren’t sleeping. You heard everything.” 

She doesn’t bother looking surprised, he’s grateful for the lack of charades. 

“You know how he feels. You feel the same. Why won’t you confront him?” 

She stares at the ceiling before locking eyes with him again, “He’s been hurt before, he had a brother once before you know. He tried to kill him.” 

He didn’t know. it’s too familiar. It's the last thing he wished they had in common. 

“He doesn’t let people in because it’s too scary when they leave. You two aren’t so different, he just does a better job of hiding it.” 

He has no comment, there are so many different layers to Vincenzo and he doubts he will never truly understand the enigmatic man. 

“So this is enough for you? You don’t want more?” 

He thinks of Miri and all the baggage that he’s carrying, he has no right to place that on her. It’s better if he stops this thing before it starts right? He has no idea what he can give to another person, is he even capable of love? 

“Yes. This is enough. He is enough, every moment with him is enough.” 

The wind stutters from his lungs, this is the second time he has heard a confession meant for another. 

“What about me? Do you think I can be enough for someone too? Could I someday find someone who cares for me like you care for hyung?” He doesn’t know what has come over him but he waits anxiously for her response, every atom of his body shivering in anticipation. 

“Silly boy,” his heart drops, “You already have someone like that. She comes to see you everyday even though she’s terrified of hospitals.”

“Wha--what?” He stutters out feeling all the blood race to his face, she only smiles broadly in reply mimicking fingers dancing across a piano before sauntering out of his room with a loud chuckle. 

This isn’t over yet. Han Seok is still at large and more people could get hurt but he has never felt safer in his life. He has a family now, one that he fought for with more passion that he thought he had and he has no plans of letting that go, for anyone. 

[prose-for-hire]

Learn to love again

Part One

Pairing: Spike x reader or Angel x reader

Request: Technically, not requested. It’s a second part to ‘Christmas Break’. I wanted to write this, it was way too unresolved for my liking. It’s a choose-your-own ending between Spike or Angel! This one isn’t Christmas-themed !! 

Warning: Mention of Spike being threatening in the past.

A/N: If you don’t wanna read the other one, here’s an overview. Spoiler: Spike got very jealous when you lied about going to Angel’s house. He became so mad that he punched the wall beside your head. Leaving you walking out and going to the only person you had left: Angel. This is the aftermath.

You sighed, staring through the thick condensation on the window. The early morning light was filtering through. Another day without him. Living with Angel had given you a lot of time for self-reflection, and not just because he wasn’t much of a talker.

With you, he would talk more than usual. He was really good to you. He allowed you to discuss your feelings. Sort through your emotions. He was an amazing listener and you thanked him everyday for letting you stay over Christmas and for a while after.

But in the bleak light of the morning, where you were confined to your own thoughts things never felt quite as clear as they did when you spoke to him about Spike. About how things had felt with him. You weren’t even sure if you were together after how you left things. Some days you weren’t sure you wanted to be. Others you longed for that feeling again. To have companionship, someone to share a bed with.

Unpicking your feelings was hard and often confusing. When you leaned against Angel, it appeared slightly easier. Although, of course, it was just the same. But having someone to talk to that wasn’t in the relationship was cathartic. He did chip in with his opinions and you took it with a pinch of salt seeing as you knew how much Angel disliked Spike.

You continued to stare out of the window, your eyes following a single bead of condensation sliding down. You sighed, you couldn’t stay in here forever. You would have to face up to everything eventually.

You and Angel spent time together through the months you had stayed. Your friends came to check on you, but you stayed with him. You felt comfortable there. You would often sit together, reading. Sometimes you took it in turns to read aloud. It was pleasant, soft even. He was a calming presence. He allowed you to forget about your situation. Distract you.

He was always there as much or as little as you needed. One evening you hugged him tight, thanking your friend softly. He was beside himself at this, he loved the contact. He wrapped his arms around you and didn’t want to let go. But you pulled back, giving him a soft smile before moving back to sit on the chair beside the window again.

He adored you. Wished that you had never even met Spike. He had always thought he was bad news and the idea that he had scared you in that way made his blood boil.

You were so grateful to Angel for the way he allowed you to stay, as if it was no imposition. He actually enjoyed the company. He felt a connection with you and he was happy to be there for as long as you needed him.

During your time at Angel’s you had barely left the house. Not feeling up to it and Angel had treated you so well you mysteriously had everything you needed without having to verbalise anything.

Spike finally figured out where you were. It angered him to no end. He waited outside, just watching. Hoping to get a glimpse of you. He kept to the shadows for the most part. Just watching.

Until one evening, after you had fallen into a slumber as you had read together. Angel lay a blanket over you before he stalked outside and confronted him.

“Go home” Angel said levelly, standing directly in front of Spike. He had been through almost an entire pack of cigarettes on this particular night.

“It’s nothing without them in it” he said, his face downcast. Angel could smell the alcohol on him. He was drunk.

“They’re not here, drop the act” He bit, his tone harsher this time. Spike squinted, he was perceptive even in his drunk state. He could see his fears had come true. Angel had feelings for you. He had run you straight into his arms too.

“You did this to us! We were doin’ fine until you ran in, forehead first, and bollocksed it all up!”

“You tried to hit them, Spike. It make you feel big, huh? You did this. You ruined it.”

“I bloody didn’t, I hit a wall. If I had wanted to hit ‘em I would have done” He boasted which, he instantly regretted. He kind of realised it wasn’t the best thing to say. He really hadn’t wanted to hurt you, but he had known that it would have shaken you up. Which he sorely regretted.

It was Angel, he decided. Always getting in his head. In yours. He didn’t care for the argument you had anymore, he just wanted you back. By his side.

“Y/n!” He shouted, “Y/N-!” At the top of his lungs before Angel ran at him and covered his hand with his mouth. Trying to stop you from waking up.

Spike shrugged him off and shoved him backwards. Which caused a fight to erupt. Angel was fast becoming protective of you and his affection for you was clear as day to Spike. They started to hurl insults through gritted teeth, Angel was trying to tackle Spike to the floor as the blonde vampire looped a muscled arm around his neck to try and get him to let go. They were in a deadlock trying to throw the other off them.

You woke up at this. It was so loud. You ran from your spot on the sofa to see what was happening from the open front door. It was them. The only vampires you held fondness for. But they were fighting. It took you a moment but you realised suddenly it was over you. You felt embarrassed, confused. What did this mean?

“Love! Listen here, I would never lay a hand on you-” Spike started, slurring slightly, upon seeing your form in the doorway.

“Go. Now” Angel warned and when Spike looked back pleadingly at your face he realised it was blank. You weren’t coming with him. So he hung his head, the shame permeating in the air.

Angel shoved him away and walked towards you, trying to calm himself down from the altercation. You turned and went back into the house, Angel followed you inside a strong hand now so gentle on your back ushering you inside. Spike sniffed, wiping his eyes as he dragged his feet but ended up staggering back to the crypt, via the liquor store.

The next morning, you were sat in your usual seat beside the window. The sunrise cast a pale yellow hue around the large living space you had become accustomed to. Angel was in bed and you were thinking to yourself. What you had seen, it made you realise something. That you hadn’t faced Spike properly since.

You missed him, you couldn’t lie and say all of those feelings you had for him had disappeared. Despite everything. In some way, you don’t think they ever would.

You were so grateful to Angel for all that he had done, how he had looked out for you when he really didn’t have to. But you decided to pack a bag and walk back to the crypt. If it went wrong, you could just walk back. But you had to do something. Hear him out.

Maybe it would make your mind up for you. Make you realise how you truly felt rather than all these contradictory emotions that ran at you at once.

After you had packed a small bag, you started towards the door. You hadn’t heard him get up. You didn’t realise he had seen you get ready to leave. Your face trying to psyche yourself up to face him again.

He put a gentle hand on your shoulder and you jumped slightly at the sensation, but turned around. He sighed as he looked at you, but he had decided he would have to say this. Whether it would ruin your relationship with him or not.

“Don’t go back to him, Y/n. He’s not good for you, I know you can see it too. I love you, I think I always have and I need you to understand that there is real, honest love out there. Without expectation or possession. Even if you don’t feel the same for me”

Angel’s confession hung in the air, you gasped. You didn’t know what to say.

Spike:

You thought for a moment and frowned at him. He watched you decide something. He had done this for selfish reasons then. He had taken you in, only with the idea that you would repay him in some way. With your affection. He said he didn’t expect anything but he didn’t look as if he wanted to let you leave.

He seemed to have decided for you. Decided that made him a better man. A man more worthy than Spike.

“You don’t know anything about my relationship with Spike” You said slowly, trying to give him the benefit of the doubt.

“I know enough” He said, the edge to his voice read as condescending.

“I appreciate what you’ve done for me, you took me in. Let me stay, but this doesn’t mean I feel the same. And I’m sorry if I led you to believe otherwise” You said calmly, trying to gauge if you were going to struggle to leave or not. There was a strange tension in the air.

“That’s okay, I just don’t want you to-”

“It’s not about what you want, Angel. It’s about what I want. And I’m sorry, I truly am, but you’re not it” You explained as he tensed his jaw slightly, his eyes staring holes through you before he just shrugged as if this was fine.

“But he is?” He couldn’t help scoffing, stepping in your way before you could get to the door. He almost looked menacing, an edge to his voice that suggested he wasn’t so innocent. As ‘selfless’ as his confession of love suggested.

“Move, Angel”

“You don’t want this. You don’t want him” He tried, as if he were the voice of reason you had started to trust he was. But you didn’t want someone that told you how you were feeling. You wanted someone that could allow you to help you grow more confident in yourself. In your own decisions.

“Please, I won’t ask again. Let me leave” You decided you weren’t above pleading. You were tired. You just wanted to go.

So he moved, telling you he would be here once it went bad again.

You walked through Sunnydale, your mind even more clouded than before. You had trusted Angel but as soon as it had stopped going the way he wanted he had started to turn.

When you rounded the corner and saw the familiar crypt you had once called home, you felt your heart start to flutter. You felt a breath of relief, the storm lifting from your mind. This was what you were supposed to do. Where you were supposed to be.

You entered the crypt slowly, “Spike!” You shouted around the empty room. Your heart ached as you saw the shell of what your home had once been. The Christmas decorations were still littering the floor, along with empty liquor bottles now. He hadn’t the heart to clean it up. He had just wallowed here, in his misery. The idea that his actions had drove you straight into another man’s arms.

It disgusted him. He didn’t hate you for it, didn’t want to hurt you more than he already had.

He looked up from where he had been slumped, staring at the screen. He hadn’t been watching, only thinking. Thinking of you. The way you would whisper in his ear and cuddle up to him. Expressing your warmth and love through that heavenly touch.

He had been so close to heaven and he hadn’t realised. Hadn’t fully comprehended. And he blamed himself, for getting angry, violent. He really hadn’t had any intention to hurt you, but that wasn’t the point anymore. The point was that you had felt unsafe with him.

That look in your eye, no matter what happy memories he recalled at the end of each seemingly good time that look was there. Even when it didn’t fit with the original scene. That frightened look, as if you believed that his fist only barely missed your face by chance. You had looked helpless and it had broken him.

He cursed himself. His anger. His stupid jealousy. Because it had been the reason he lost you. You had been right, he should have trusted you. He had seen you at Angel’s house, guiltily watching. He had seen you obliviously rebuff any advance Angel had made. Any overly friendly comment had you smiling and putting a distance between you and the man.

Only now he saw it, you weren’t the enemy. He was. Angel. Just like he always had been.

“Love?” He asked, frowning into the darkness. The furrow only lifting slightly when he saw that it really was you. He must be dreaming again, he thought. So, he did what he did every day as he slept, he stood and walked towards you to begin the atonement process. Every night it ended the same, with you back in bed with Angel. But every night he apologised, because it meant something. You meant something. Everything.

“I’m so sorry, love, I would never hurt you. My anger, I’m workin’ on it, I promise you that. I’m not gonna rest until I make it up to you. No matter how long it takes… I ache for you, only you. And the way I express it, I-I know it’s not right. This thing that we have, this jealous nature I can’t begin to control around you” He sighed, shaking his head at the ground, at himself, “I can only hope that one day, I can prove my worth to you. My love for you will never end. If that means you’re in his arms by sundown, well, I don’t like it, but my love won’t slow. It courses through me, always… I’m eternally yours”

Your eyes widened, he had never spoken so honestly. Never even shown you the way he had reflected on his own emotions. Behaviour. He had called his jealousy mere ‘passion’ for most of your relationship.

He had a lot of time to himself since you were away. Time that told him his life was nothing without you in it. He moved his hand, reaching to cup your cheek.

“I love you” You whispered. He frowned, this wasn’t how the dream usually went. Your eyes would water and you would flinch away from him in horror any time he reached out. You instead closed your eyes, moving into his touch.

No, this was no dream. Of course it was you, the real you. Your kind nature. Your calm presence washed over him. He never wanted to leave your side, but he understood now that he should trust that you wouldn’t stray. Rather than trying to restrict you to be with him.

“You were right, Spike” You said, the tears falling, “About Angel… he wanted me and I was too stupid to see it”

“Not your fault, pet. Come here” He gestured for you to lean into him and you did, “He’s insidious. Get’s in your head. Like he did to me”

“I’m so sorry” You mumbled, tears falling from your face.

“Hey, hush, you have nothing to apologise for. I should have explained, should have- but I couldn’t. My anger was so strong I thought I might drown in it. The current swept me away and I’ll spend the rest of my days regretting it” He admitted earnestly. His hand that caressed your cheek now so much softer than he had been the last time you saw him. His face had softened and you could tell he meant it.

This wasn’t some line to get you into bed. To make you come back. He had no agenda, no purpose other than to tell you his honest intentions and feelings.

You understood that he meant it and your heart, your mind, it was only alive when you were with him. You knew he would never have hit you, but his jealousy really was something that he needed to work on. You both knew this.

“Can I come back home?” You asked, barely above a whisper.

“Always” he whispered, kissing your forehead and pulling you into a tight embrace. He closed his eyes at the contact, feeling the way your body moulded against his. You fit perfectly.

He promised, silently, to always remember this moment. To try against anything never to raise his voice. His fist. Not in your presence, not against you.

He moved back slightly, his body still against yours but he wanted to look at your face. Your hands rested on his back as you gazed back into his eyes. He leaned in, pressing soft kisses to your cheeks. Your nose and your forehead again. He peppered you with a shower of such soft kisses. He made you feel cherished.

You knew it wouldn’t be easy, it wouldn’t always be as good as this, but you could do it together. You could learn to love again.

Angel:

You stared at him for a moment, your mouth slightly open. Your heart had skipped a beat and you were sure that he must have heard it.

“Y-you mean it? You like me?”

“Of course I like you, you’re the strongest and kindest person I ever met. You’re too good for someone like him, or me. But I had to tell you. You deserve better”

“A-Angel”

“You don’t have to say anything” He looked at the floor, downcast.

You hadn’t realised what this feeling was. It had been building up inside you. Only now could you name it.

You had shared his sofa, cuddled up together. Not realising how much closer you wished he would be to you. You had smiled, he was the only one able to make you laugh since you left Spike. The only time you could relax was when you were by his side.

Listened to each other’s pasts, sharing memories and hushed whispers long into the night until you fell asleep. You always woke in the morning, in your bed wrapped in blankets.

How could you have missed this? The way your heart soared whenever he entered the room. The care, he was so gentle with you. You hadn’t realised the way you felt until it had crept up on you. Until he put it into words for you.

There he was, standing right there in front of you.

The truth was, you weren’t used to it. Soft, pure intentioned love. Spike had been rough, haphazard and insanely jealous. Whereas Angel was earnest, kind and understanding.

It took you a moment to process it all and he stood, embarrassed at the silence. Until you looked at him, as if it was the first time anyone had seen him - fully seen him, before.

“I think I love you too” You admitted, it was shrouded in guilt. Because of how fresh leaving Spike had been. Because of how you felt Angel was too good for you. Too sweet and understanding.

He slowly scanned your face, every inch confirming that you were being sincere. His mouth turned into a cautious smile. He had spent this time longing and hoping but trying beyond anything to be a good friend.

He didn’t want to be selfish. You had been hurting. He wasn’t going to say anything, but he had seen the way you were looking at the prospect of going back to Spike. You appeared broken, as if you felt your only option was to make reparations with him. Because it was all you had known.

“Will you… go with me? Help me get the rest of my stuff. Uh, if I’m allowed to stay…” You posed the question, looking at the floor.

“You’re always welcome here. This is your home, for as long as you want” he confirmed, he had wanted you to choose to stay with him and turns out, you had. It was all he had ever hoped. His heart swelled.

“Would forever work for you?” You said, jokingly but the look he gave you made your heart sing. He had loved you for a long while now, only realising it properly these past months.

You both waited for the sun to set before you went to Spike’s crypt. Giving you both time to talk and further confirm your feelings for the other.

As night fell, you made your way over there. Walking slowly. You glanced at him a few times before you slipped your hand into his. You were worried he would reject the gesture, but he lit up as he felt your hand in his. He squeezed it comfortingly as you walked towards the crypt. Your dread increasing with every step you took toward that place.

It had once been home, but it was only a broken shell in your mind now.

You stopped dead. You couldn’t go any further. You were concerned. Spike could make you feel so small.

“I-I don’t think I can, Angel” You said softly, embarrassed at how your voice wavered, “He’ll think this was what I planned… I don’t want him to-”

“I’ve got it, if that’s what you want I can go in there by myself. There’s nothing to be ashamed of. What he did to you was…” Angel sighed, shaking his head. He began rubbing your upper arm comfortingly. You leant into it, you felt so safe with Angel.

“Evil? He did warn me” You deadpanned. But Angel shook his head. Even for Spike, your relationship had been nasty. He had seen how he had been with Drusilla, he had been entirely softer with her than you and he didn’t think much of that relationship either.

Angel held your hand, leading you to sit away from the crypt. He crouched down before you, at your level. He assured you that he would be as quick as he could be. He looked at you for a moment, debating something. He leaned in and landed a soft kiss on your forehead, avoiding your eyes as he rose to his feet and moved away again. He nodded at you, noticing the ghost of a smile on your face at the gesture.

He left for a while, you heard crashing. Spike was probably throwing things. As he often did when he didn’t get his way. You winced at the noise, but you were already feeling better that you didn’t have to face him. You didn’t feel right about it even when you had decided on it.

Angel’s confession, and your subsequent reciprocation made you realise. You couldn’t dwell on the past. On the way Spike had made you feel the way he had. On how you were concerned to even be in the same room as him.

You had to move on instead. You wanted to move on, with him.

Angel returned and took your hand again, his eyes were wild from the fight but he would never let you feel that side of him. Barely let you see it. He was so in tune to your emotions. His touch was soothing, calm around you. He walked you home, carrying the bags he had managed to pack despite Spike’s constant pulling your items and throwing them back into the crypt.

You returned. To safety. Home.

You smiled, the brightest smile he had ever seen from you lately. He basked in the glow. You thanked him profusely. As soon as he moved closer to you, now that you were alone, you felt your heart start to flutter.

You felt a breath of relief, the storm lifting from your mind. This was exactly where you were supposed to be. You leaned into him, his lips were on yours instantly. They were so light and he pulled away so as not to push anything. But when you reached for him and pressed your lips against his again, deepening the kiss he relaxed.

There was such feeling behind this kiss. Things that couldn’t be explained in mere words now shown through this loving act.

Angel didn’t see you as broken. He saw you as immeasurably strong for walking away from Spike. For allowing love back in despite the trauma you had been through. Spike had scared you. Hurt you. But Angel just wanted to be there, by your side. Share love rather than take it from you, forcibly or otherwise.

He held you against him, in such reverence. With such adoration. You lay together in bed that night, you had never felt a partner so centred around you and your needs. To him, it matched or even transcended his own.

Even being beside you was a reward he felt he did not deserve. He promised, silently that he was always make you feel safe. He never wanted you to feel trapped with him.

You cherished your Angel. Somewhere deep within, you felt it. By his side, you could learn to love again.

[timextoxhajima]

Love Me A Little Less: Chapter 7 - Golden Chains

LOVE ME A LITTLE LESS CHAPTER MASTERLIST

Member: (3rd person pov) arranged marriage au with Lee Juyeon

Genre: angsty wangsty

Taglist: @hyunjaethereal @sunwoowuvbot​ @suzy-rainbow​​

"Everyone wants everything she has.”

Juyeon raises his fist, Porsche parked nicely in the only empty lot of three by the fountain before the mini mansion. The sky is cloudy and Juyeon can already smell the musty scent of rain as the gentle cool winds blow through his still-waxed hair. 

His knuckles press into the wooden door before he actually knocks, and he almost feels sorry for himself for being such a nuisance at the worst timings ever.

Finally mustering the courage to knock, he does just that, and he can see the lights in the entrance hall flicker on through the door panels by the sides after some time. Multiple locks click open, and the door opens just enough for the resident to see him.

“Juyeon,” Sunwoo blinks, already in his silk pajamas and his hair combed down nicely. He looks tired - probably from the day’s work of being Juyeon’s moodmaker at his own wedding. “What are you doing here? Oh my God, you got kicked out of the Lee’s House?”

“What? No!” The elder seethes quietly, his pride hurt. “I left.”

Sunwoo’s brows are covered by his fringe, but Juyeon doesn’t need to see them to know they are far up his forehead with amusement. 

“You left the Lee House?” 

“Yeah,” Juyeon sucks in a deep breath and avoids eye contact. “My mother told me she wanted me to have a child with Jang Won just so we can inherit HERA & ARTEMIS.”

“Oh, man,” Sunwoo’s face falls with pity and confusion. “That... that’s gotta suck.”

“I know. That’s why I’m here.”

Sunwoo pulls the door open for Juyeon to enter, head poking out the door to see the Porsche parked in his driveway. “You can stay if you like but I’m afraid people are gonna find out you’re here and not back at your place or Hera’s Manor.”

Juyeon pulls off his shoes and slips on a pair of home slippers meant for guests. The entrance hall is a lot less spacious and elaborate compared to the Lee House’s or Hera’s Manor, but it’s because of its smaller scale that comforts Juyeon. Feels more like a home than an exhibition.

The door shuts and Sunwoo pulls the locks back into place. 

“I know, but I just didn’t know where else to be. I can’t stand being in that house.”

“Okay, so you hate your parents. We know this, but do you really have nowhere else to be at now?”

Juyeon turns and shoots Sunwoo a look of displeasure. The younger pouts slightly as he passes him and heads for the main hall. The fireplace crackles to life when he turns it on.

Dropping himself into the couch and staring at the fire, Juyeon pulls off his blazer and covers his face with it. The cushion next to him sinks when Sunwoo sits, quiet and unsure.

“It’s not that I don’t want you here. I just don’t want to risk you getting into trouble with the press. Everybody knows the Porsche’s carplate number. And aren’t all your cars bugged?”

“I removed the bug.”

“What? How? How did you even find it?”

“The one in the Porsche was under the compartment on the passenger’s side.”

“Did you like, throw it on the ground and drive over it or something?”

“I threw it at my bodyguard.”

Sunwoo snorts. “Were your parents around to see that?”

“Yeah, my dad was this close,” Juyeon lifts a hand and gestures with his thumb and index finger. “To punching a hole through the driver’s window, so I threw it out the passenger’s window instead.”

The hearty laugh that runs out of Sunwoo’s throat tickles Juyeon as well. “I’m not gonna lie, this is something you definitely wouldn’t have done prior.”

“Prior to?”

Juyeon pulls the blazer off his face and side-eyes Sunwoo. The answer was already in his eyes.

“Ah,” Juyeon scoffs. “Maybe it just bugs me that my mother was in the same position as Jang Won is now - an arranged marriage - and yet she’s telling me to do all these things to her... a child, taking HERA & ARTEMIS.”

“Don’t you think you’re developing too much of a soft spot for her already?”

“Why does everyone think that way?” Frowning, Juyeon finally sits up in the couch. “Poor girl lost her mother to cancer and then her father who only comes back from the dead, only to take what she built - does that make sense at all?”

“It doesn’t, but you seem to forget that she’s got the entire world at her feet. Even if your families harmoniously merged, I’m very sure she still wouldn’t give away her blood and sweat so easily.”

Juyeon sighs and drags his hands down his face, feeling the weight from the day sink into him. “I just... I can’t imagine. She’s... got questionable motifs, no doubt, but... when I spoke to Younghoon today, I... He made me promise to protect her and be patient with her, and now I see exactly why.”

He pauses and looks at the cracking fire. 

“Everyone wants everything she has, and she knows that herself.”

Jang Won yawns and crawls into bed, stretching her neck from left to right as she tightens silk night gown around her waist. She fiddles with the ring on her left hand, diamond sparkling under the amber lights of her room. 

Memory sends her back to earlier that day - to when Juyeon pulled her out of that sickening interaction with misogynist Mr Teuk, only to call her a hypocrite in her own office. 

She harshly exhales, pulling out the ring and placing it by the nightstand. Her feet shuffles under the sheets, cool and heavy and all she wants to do is to slip into forever. If only.

But a gentle knock ensues on her door, and she groans in frustration, shutting her eyes to regulate her lack of sleep.

“What is it?”

“Miss Kim, there’s a call for you, and I’m afraid you’ll have to entertain it.”

She rams her face into her pillow when she recognises Mr Ro’s calmness. She’ll never yell at him for anything in the world. 

“Can’t it wait till morning?”

“Uh, well... I’m afraid not, Miss Kim. It’s your husband.”

“Oh- my God!” She screams into her pillow, refusing to leave her bed even more now. “What is it that’s so fucking urgent?!”

The door finally clicks open and Mr Ro kindly pokes his head in, eyes furrowing at the lady of the house huddled into the thick sheets of her bed. She turns subtly, enough for one of her eyes to see Mr Ro’s head through the gap of the door.

“He, um, ran away from home. He’d like to stay for the night... or rather, until you leave for your honeymoon next week.”

Jang Won frowns, neurons in her head struggling to fit themselves together. She sits up. “What? Juyeon... ran away from home?”

He nods enough for her to see, and a strange sense of protection wells her stomach. 

“Give me the phone,” She stretches out her palm and beckons Mr Ro over to her bed. The butler was already dressed in his own pajamas, so she can’t help but smile softly at how cute he looked. 

And yet, she displays the magic of a 180 degree change as she presses the phone to her ear, “What the FUCK is wrong with you?! Do you have any FUCKING idea how late it is?!”

“Oh!” Mr Ro anxiously waves his hands at her. “It’s Mr Kim Sunwoo on the line, Jang Won!”

Her eyes widen, and she winces into the phone, taking a pillow to gently whack Mr Ro. 

“Yeah, hear that, Juyeon? Do you have any idea what time it is now? Anyway, hi. It’s Kim Sunwoo, in case your butler hasn’t told you.”

“Right, right, sorry about that.”

“Don’t be sorry about that, just come and take your husband back to Hera’s Manor. He’s homeless and I can’t risk him being seen here. He drove his car here.”

“What? Isn’t his car bugged with a tracking device?”

“He ripped it out, but the whole press knows his car plate number so if he’s spotted here, I’m sure you wouldn’t want to answer why there’s a man involved in your marriage.”

Jang Won huffs with irritation. “Fine. I’ll send someone over to drive him back to Hera’s Manor. Why’s he homeless now anyway?”

Sunwoo laughs dryly over the phone. “His parents. What else?”

Jang Won twists the receiver away from her mouth and turns to Mr Ro. “Is the second master or the other guest room made up?”

“The second master is being used to house your clothes and items for your honeymoon, and the other guestroom is currently being used by your father.”

“What? My father? What the fuck’s he doing in the-”

“Uh, would you like a word with him? Maybe you could snap him out of his nonsensical act right now that’s putting him and you in various difficult situations.”

“Ugh, get someone to watch my father in the second guest room! We’ll clear him out tomorrow, and send someone down to Kim Sunwoo’s residence now! I want Lee Juyeon in Hera’s Manor in 30!” She twists the phone back so the receiver is at her mouth. “Get him on the phone. I’ll scream his ear off.”

“He says he’ll explain when he gets there- hey, give that back- wha-” 

BEEP

Jang Won removes the phone from her ear just as Mr Ro shuts the door behind him. Rubbing her temples to cure the headache that’s forming in her skull, she reminds herself that her newly wed husband cannot be brutally murdered the night of her wedding. 

“My God,” She huffs exasperatedly, side-eyeing Mr Ro. “Men.”

“Shall I call someone down to drive you there or-”

“No, just send a guard to tail my car but you just stay home and clear the second guest room.”

“Your father won’t be able to clear it out by the time Mr Lee is here, Jang Won.”

She halts in the midst of throwing on full-length coat. “Are you telling me that I might need to share this bed-”

“Possibly, yes.”

The groan that escapes her throat is loud, annoying and absolutely a bomb of a ruin to the rest of her night. “Fine. But get me a bolster. I don’t want him anywhere near 30 centimeters of me.”

Jang Won can’t exactly remember the last time she’s got her fingers around the steering wheel, but she sure as Hell felt the freedom when she didn’t have to worry about telling the chauffeur where she was headed off to. 

The Mercedes tailing her car was driven by one of Hera’s Manor’s bodyguards, and so she makes sure to stay a good distance away from it since the press is also aware of her car plate number.

She parks her Audi right next to the Porsche, and the Manor’s Mercedes almost at the entrance where it leads up to the fountain and the roundabout. There’s no hesitation in slamming the door and almost running her entire fist through the door (if she could) to make her presence known.

“ROOM FUCKING SERVICE FOR MR LEE JUYEON. GET YOUR ASS OUT HERE!”

Almost immediately, she can hear someone shuffling for the door, and it swings open to reveal Kim Sunwoo, a distant member of The Board. Peering over Sunwoo’s shoulder, she can see the reluctance dripping off her husband as he peels himself off the sofa, still in his clothes he had left in. 

“You went home and didn’t bother to take a shower?” She sneers, but Juyeon cannot give two damns about her attitude right now. He finally reaches the party at the front door, noticing the Manor’s bodyguard driving the Mercedes up to meet the other cars. 

“I went home and got blasted with the suggestion of having a child with you, how’s that for a reason not to shower?” He frowns, trudging past her for the Porsche. 

Jang Won watches his back head down the steps, getting into his own car and prepare himself at the wheel with a look of contempt in his eyes. She turns to thank Sunwoo with a mere nod, before heading down the steps herself and getting into the Porsche. The plan was to have the Manor’s Mercedes left at Kim’s Residence while her bodyguard drove her Audi, and she would be in the Porsche with Juyeon - all this to prevent any sort of complications if they were to be spotted by the press. 

The urge to scream at him for possibly ruining the perfect plan she had in store to debunk all the shit’s that gone down with her father has, surprisingly, diminished. Jang Won cannot decide what she’s more taken aback by - the fact that Juyeon left home because she had been unreasonably brought into discussion, or that he got scared by the thought of spending the rest of his life caring for a child with her. 

Of course, being the skeptical person she is, she chooses to believe the second option more than the first.

“Is the idea of having a child with me so horrible that you had to leave home?”

“A child should not be brought into the picture when we don’t even care about each other,” The weight in his voice kind of hurts her pride. He checks the side mirror as he turns around the corner. “Neither of us had a choice to be where we are today so... let’s not implicate any other prospective beings that might suffer from our decisions. I don’t want to be my parents and I’m sure as Hell you don’t want to be like your father.”

Juyeon checks the rear mirror, making sure that her bodyguard was tailing them in the Audi. It’s strange, to have some peace and quiet in the car as the whir of the air-conditioning hums through the vehicle. She’s looking out the passenger’s window and seeing everything outside as they drive past.

“Haven’t been to this neighbourhood before, have you?” 

She shakes her head, not bothering to turn to him. “No. I’ve only been hanging around the Manor and the Meridian Streets where you stay.”

A pause.

“Sunwoo’s grandfather was the first of his family to secure membership in The Board, that’s why the disparity.”

Jang Won’s eyes dart to Juyeon and tries to side-eye him, but he remains out of her view and she returns to the world outside. “He’s a new-blood?”

“Three-generations new,” Juyeon nods. “Haven’t met one, have you?”

“No. I grew up with people whose great-great-grandparents lived in the Joseon dynasty.”

“That would’ve been a fun time to be alive.”

“Only if you wanted to be executed for being a politician.”

Juyeon exhales through his nose.

Jang Won lets the atmosphere settle, feeling the gentle night seep into her after a long day. She wonders about Juyeon’s perception of her as a person, after everything’s been happening. 

“How did you meet Kim Sunwoo?”

“We went to the same high-school. I was two years his senior and we were in the same club, and by then, my parents had already begun to teach me the likings of The Board and even gave me a booklet with all the families who were involved with it. I remembered Sunwoo’s family being indicated near the back of the book because they were new-bloods, and from then, I remembered his face.”

“Wouldn’t you have been worried he’d use you to shift up the food chain?”

“Not everybody is as venomous as the ones we know. Sunwoo had no idea I was from the Lee family. Once, we were shooting hoops till late and his father had come to get him... and then Sunwoo had to watch his father bow to another student... and I could tell he hated it, and then he was almost as shocked as I was, but for completely different reasons.”

Jang Won doesn’t even notice she’s staring at Juyeon until he turns to her, looking straight at her in her eyes. The car stops at a red light, now just a few streets away from Hera’s Manor. He turns away first.

“And I had to watch him bow to me too, just because his father told him to... and it felt like shit,” Juyeon’s eyes are glimmering the shade of red from the traffic light as he looks ahead. His face reflected the amber hues of the street lamps and other stray vehicles still on the road. “I wanted a friend, but his father was treating me like something they shouldn’t even be talking to.”

“It has always been like that. The way The Board works... it’s a hierarchy within another and when you’re a new-blood...”

“Yeah. I know,” Juyeon sighs as he lifts the brakes. “Part of me wishes we weren’t born into this shitshow.”

A mirror. That’s what he is. Stand right opposite Younghoon and he’s nothing but someone who wishes the same - to be free from all the golden chains. 

[noctis-noctua]

I, Kaeya Alberich, Take Thee

Pairing: Kaeya x Fem. Reader

Count: 1976

Description: Kaeya knows that be does not deserve anything he desires. There is nothing he can do to make you his, but so badly does he wish there was.

Content: Unrequited love, angst, bittersweet ending, marriage.

Warnings: Slight spoiler for Kaeya's backstory but an addition of (non-canon!) Prince Kaeya.

In another universe, maybe I am not cursed so by the Gods. Kaeya resists the urge to nibble on the tail-end of his quill. It was unbecoming for a man of his stature to succumb to unsanitary habits. Plus, this particular pen hailed from a crow’s feather, hunted by the hands of a childhood friend. The intricate quill had not been put to use for a substantial amount of time, but it fits into Kaeya’s hand as if it came to shape its spine based on the curvature of his own grasp. He could get used to signing off documents and organizing civil affairs if it meant succumbing to such mundane sensations. The morning sun dripping onto his mahogany desks and floors, a faint scratch of keratin against ivory paper filling the empty space… It has been a long time since he’s made the decision to take over petty bureau duties. Today is a special day. Kaeya needs to focus on the satisfying echoes of paper and pen, on the sunlight heating his back, or he might just go insane.

    The clamor of bells tugs Kaeya from his mechanical performance. Each ring is a song of desperation, a performance begging for his attention. Come out and celebrate! Indulge in the pain. He is not a man that falls prey to anger, but he cannot help that frustrated itch in his stomach as he hears the iron reverberating. Please just be quiet, Kaeya thinks. Let me forget. The hesitant croak of his door alerts Kaeya to the presence of the Acting Grand Master. She dons an outfit unique from her usual uniform - a cream-colored dress, embroidered by floral lace, a single azure ribbon tying at the waist. So even the straight-edged Jean has taken time off today? 

    “Kaeya, you can’t make these excuses forever.” He knows from how Jean closes the door with unperturbed silence that this is not a conversation regarding hilichurl nests or Fatui diplomats. He can tell from the way Jean drops the mature title of ‘Sir’ in favor of his childhood nickname, that it is a conversation Jean feels must be approached with gentleness as if Kaeya is a stray cat that claws at feeding hands. The Grand Master releases a heaved exhale because both of them dread this discussion as much as the other. There is an inherent wrong in seeing Kaeya distressed. He may not be shedding tears in solitude or resigning himself to the dormitories, but he is hiding, and that is enough for Jean to observe that he is not functioning as normal.

    “Please, come for a little while. I know it’s not… something you want to see, but he’s your brother. Offer a small congratulations at the least.” Her heels tap on the polished hardwood.

    “I was planning on coming by later this evening.  Tell them I’m sorry for not being able to attend the main event. How could I? Just look at all this paperwork.” Kaeya’s signature chuckle follows, putting up a front of careless flirtation. It is not uncommon for Jean to rope the Cavalry Captain into his desk chair. Lord knows he’d never do it otherwise… yet now he claims servitude to the dulling labor. How ironic. 

    “I’ll tell them of your apologies… but both of us know that paperwork isn’t the reason you can’t make it.” Jean turns around, blonde hair trailing in the breeze left behind before Kaeya can quip up a rebuttal. She’s right. Jean is always right. The papers piling on his desk are from the drawers of his subordinates, filed away to be completed in another five months' time. There is no reason they had to be done today. He is hiding. He is a coward and a pathetic one at that. The thought alone provokes Kaeya to tug on his studded gloves and push out his chair. His sights are set on leaving because to be seen as a frail child is to fail at the sole thing he succeeds at. Being the chivalrous Cavalry Captain renowned for his beauty and failsafe charm is the one thing he cannot lose because he cannot let Mondstadt see how fragile he is behind the visage. 

    Mondstadt’s avenues are bustling. Oak tables identical to the ones across local taverns have been dressed in linen tablecloths and topped with miniature feasts. Children run between tables, tugging at each other’s shirts in a feisty game of tag as festive music tempts the adults to a dance. The tell-tale strums of Mondstadt’s No. 1 Bard’s lyre lead the crowds to the statue of Barbatos. Behind it, trails of petals line the paths leading to the limestone Cathedral. Couples, singles, and families alike make haste to enter through the carved doors. No one wants to miss this. Kaeya tugs on the collar of his fur coat, gazing at the entry before him. He can hear the music of an organ, romantic and rich, ricocheting from inside. 

    He steps into the Cathedral. The ceremony has yet to start and the pews continue to fill. Citizens scoot as close as possible to allow for more onlookers to take a seat. He finds a spot next to Huffman and a few other Knights, squished on the outer edge. It is three benches from the front. Too close for Kaeya to be comfortable. The croaking benches have long since met their capacity by now. Not a soul is missing, Kaeya reckons. Diluc Ragnvindr, the wine Tycoon, Mondstadt’s famous magnate, is marrying after all. It is no small occasion. Diluc’s brazen hair is a torch amidst fog, its perk hue garnering the eyes of all in the Cathedral. He is dressed in a suave black suit. It boasts minuscule gold embellishments followed by a hefty crimson cape draped on his shoulders. Even dressed in the furs and fabrics of royalty, one could sense a distinct awkwardness from him. If you’re going to marry her, at least look confident, brother. 

    It hurts. He cannot lie to himself - not that Kaeya was trying to in the first place. There is a pain associated with seeing the woman he loves marrying the brother that no longer desires to even speak to him. Now, Kaeya regrets standing up from his busy work. These thoughts won’t stop their festering, and it punches a hole through his stomach. Kaeya is all-too-aware that tonight, you will climb into Diluc’s sheets. He’d treat you kindly, of course. He grew up with Diluc and has seen his rigorous nobility tutors shape him into the gentleman he is today. There is no doubt that you will live a lavish life of luxury. A life Kaeya could never afford to give you. 

    In Khaenri’ah, Kaeya’s title of ‘Prince’ holds as much merit as it does in Teyvat. His people are dead or suffering. His city has crumbled into dust and shards of a forgotten legacy. Kaeya himself serves one purpose, and that is to bring glory back to the Eclipse Dynasty. It is in these times that Kaeya regrets being born royalty to a lost nation. In the solace of his chambers, Kaeya would stare at the painted ceiling and ponder. If I were born someone else entirely, would you give me a chance? But who is he kidding? Kaeya knows he’s handsome. It’s stupid and unreasonable to be so self-deprecating. He isn’t the one marrying you because he wasn’t Diluc Ragnvindr. He wasn’t from a line of Mondstadtian heroes; he was from the ashes of sinners and embers of civilization. He was Kaeya Alberich, Cavalry Captain of the Knights of Favonius, caught between familial loyalty and a stinging betrayal. Of course he wasn’t marrying you. 

    The Cathedral doors groan as the nuns heave them open. Light floods in and frames the feminine body of the lady of Mondstadt. In your hands, a bouquet of calla lilies. On your body, a silken robe of pearls and diamonds. It flows at your back, fluttering in the blessed gales of Barbatos’. Kaeya swore that as a Khaenri’ahn, he would never see the Gates of Celestia. But this… this, he thinks, might be the closest glimpse he gets. No one dares to speak. She is beautiful. She has always been beautiful. Time slows as Kaeya lets himself take in the sight of you pledging your livelihood to his brother, and his brother’s livelihood to you. 

     Then, as if he is an innocent child once again, Kaeya closes his eyes as you two kiss. Clapping and cheers fill the atmosphere. 

    “To the Ragnvindr’s! Oley!”

    “Say, Kaeya, do you ever wanna get married?” The girl questions from Kaeya’s backside. 

    “Maybe. Then I can show off in front of my lovely wife! That would be cool, wouldn’t it, Diluc?” Kaeya jests, elbowing his step-brother’s chest. Diluc rolls his eyes, ever the prodigy. 

    “We’re still young. There’s no use thinking about such things. Shouldn’t you focus on training?” He grumbles. Kaeya knows that he will never have a lucky wife. He will never have a healthy family, or a thriving home, or a genuine relationship. Those are nothing more than dreams to Kaeya.

    The girl grabs Kaeya’s arm and begins running into the fields of grapes and firs. There is a childlike giggle dispersing for all in the neighborhood to hear, fading out as they lose sight of the manor. Reaching the edge of the cliffside, they halt. It overlooks a sapphire river below, fit for one of Master Crepus’ paintings. Diluc had been abandoned long ago. 

    “Hey, Kaeya, the water kind of looks like your hair.” The girl remarks, nuzzling closer to him. He feels his heart thrashing in its cage, begging him not to react, begging him not to ruin the fate of his country. To the girl, he smells of linen, lampgrass, and sweat, much as a kid his age should. Silence settles onto their shoulders, both of them catching breaths that had been stolen in the wind. “I didn’t ask before because I thought Diluc would get mad, but… Kaeya, how about we get married when we grow up?” How silly, Kaeya thinks. I couldn’t marry you if I wanted to. 

    “Hmm, okay. So you’ll be my lucky wife then?” Kaeya plummets down onto the grass and grins. It tickles the back of his neck and stains his blouse a verdant green. He dreams of dreaming, because that is all Khaenri’ahns like him can do. He dreams of coming home to your embrace or trudging back from battle hand-in-hand. Either one is okay. Anything with you is okay. 

    “Of course, stupid. That’s what marriage is. So you’ll be my lucky husband!” Lucky husband. It fills his heart with an immature pride too chaste for a traitor of his caliber. 

    “Deal!” 

    “Deal.” 

    They are naive children making impossible promises, but a part of Kaeya has never unlatched from those delicate whispers. Khaenri’ahns dream of dreaming, but just this once, Kaeya wished he could dream of you.

    “So, Sir Kaeya, are you going to marry soon? Youth is fleeting! Get a wife while you’re young.” One of the Knights suggests, sliding him a suggestive beam. Kaeya let’s himself open his eyes. He processes the blinding light from colored panes of glass spilling over him, the jovial expressions of the citizens he has sworn to protect, and you grasping onto Diluc’s arm, a longing of adoration phasing across your features. Happy. You are happy. He turns towards the knight, cracking a smile.

    “Don’t be silly - I’m already married, Huffman.” He lets the novice soldier ogle at him for a few seconds. “I’m joking. Lighten up.” Huffman releases a hearty chortle, commenting on his Captain’s sense of humor and putting a hand to his chest. He laughs along, but Kaeya knows there is no joke. 

Don’t be silly. I’m already married. It was a deal, after all.

[hermits-that-craft]

He’s nothing but a problem, he’ll leave you crying overnight

AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27146512/chapters/66294634

Tommy lies on his bed, staring at the ceiling and willing himself to remain awake, listening to Wilbur and Techno argue outside his door. The first time Tommy’s heard Techno speak in over a week, and he’s screaming at Wilbur. Tommy can’t remember another time where Techno yelled, and he struggles to even place the concept of his older brother yelling at Wilbur. Their eldest brother.

“We don’t have to do this!” Tommy hears Techno’s voice break, as though it pains him to scream the words. “Tommy and I don’t have to fight a war for you when you’re ready to blow up our home!”

“Manburg isn’t your home!” Wilbur screams back, and Tommy buries his head in his pillows, tears springing to his eyes. “It isn’t his either! You’re a traitor, Technoblade! Just admit you’re going to hand us over to Schlatt!”

“Wilbur I’m your brother! ” Techno sounds heart broken, and Tommy chokes back a sob. “I came here to protect you, you, Wil! You and Tommy!”

“You came because Schlatt asked you to come here, don’t pretend to care about Tommy now!” Wilbur spits, and Tommy wishes that they’d leave, leave each other alone, leave him out of their arguments, leave Pogtopia and argue outside.

“Of course I care about Tommy!”

“If you cared you’d help me!”

“Stop,” Tommy cries, his voice barely audible in his room. “Please stop, please stop fighting. ”

“Of course I care, but killing innocent bystanders and civilians is-”

“And you haven’t before?” Wilbur snaps, and Tommy’s eyes widen, both him and Techno gasping. “Don’t act all innocent, Technoblade , I heard what you told Phil-”

“Phil?” Techno’s voice is quiet. “Why did you call him Phil?”

“Don’t try to deflect here, Techno-”

“Have you lost it? He’s our Dad!”

“He would betray us at the drop of a hat.” Wilbur spits, and Tommy curls in on himself, trying not to cry.

“Dad wouldn’t-”

“When has he been here, Techno?” Wilbur’s voice echoes through Tommy’s head, haunting him from within. “When has Phil ever come for us? He doesn’t care for us, he only cares about his little hardcore world and travelling. We only see him at MCC and you know it.”

“You’re lost.” Techno growls, his voice low and dangerous. “I’m taking Tommy, he doesn’t deserve to live with your paranoia-”

“Don’t you dare accuse me of paranoia-”

“Then what are you doing, accusing me of-”

Their voices mix in Tommy’s head, he can’t tell them apart anymore. Tears roll down his cheeks as he listens to them scream at each other. A sword is unsheathed, and the wall shakes as someone hits it. Tommy pulls the blanket over his head, childishly hiding under the blankets as his brothers tear each other apart.

“Dad,” Tommy sobs. “Dad please come back, please.”

Phil doesn’t return, not that Tommy expected him to. He listens as Techno screams in rage, as Wilbur screams in pain. As someone dies, hearing them respawn nearby. He listens as his older brother leaves, spewing profanities. He listens as his door opens, and his chokes back a sob as his eldest brother walks into the room, sitting on the side of the bed.

“He had to go Tommy,” Wilbur says, gently brushing Tommy’s hair. It would be comforting anywhere else, but in Pogtopia it’s fear inducing. “He was working for Schlatt. Don’t worry, we’re going to be fine without him. Who cares about the pig anyways?”

Wilbur sighs as Tommy sobs, getting off of the bed and walking to the door with heavy footsteps. Tommy pulls his head out from under the blankets, tears staining the wool and his cheeks equally. He looks at Wilbur’s silhouette, illuminated by the torches outside Tommy’s room.

“Get some sleep, Tommy. You’ll feel better in the morning.” Wilbur’s voice is soft, almost normal. Tommy can almost imagine that he’s back at home, in L’Manburg or the farm house, and Wilbur comforted him after a nightmare or a breakdown. Almost.

And Wilbur leaves, and Tommy falls into a fire filled nightmare, the screams that have haunted him since the war hitting him full force as Wilbur burns and blows up everyone and everything .

---

Tommy screams himself awake, fire licking at his brain as the nightmares fade from his mind. Wilbur runs into the room, pulling Tommy into a hug, gently patting his head. Tommy clings to his brother, tears staining Wilbur’s shirt. Wilbur hums to him, gently rocking him as he sobs into Wilbur’s chest. His sobs stop, not due to any lack of fear or sadness but due to him having nothing left to cry, no tears nor energy left.

“Are you actually going to kill everyone in L’Manburg?” Tommy’s voice is soft, broken from the crying. “Are you actually going to blow home up?”

“Of course not, Tommy.” Wilbur says, ruffling Tommy's hair. “I’m going to give the people what they want, I’m not going to hurt anyone.”

“Techno said-”

“Techno’s working with Schlatt now, Tommy.” Wilbur says, and Tommy’s heart stops. His eyes tear up, but none fall and Wilbur pushes Tommy away from himself, holding onto Tommy's shoulders. “We can only trust each other now.”

“No, Techno wouldn’t-” Tears slip down Tommy’s face. “Would he?”

“I’m so sorry, Toms.” Wilbur says softly, and Tommy breaks, sobbing the remaining tears away, and then screaming as Wilbur watches him shatter. “He killed me last night, I was lucky to have set my spawn nearby, he would have kidnaped you.”

Tommy breaks, shattering on the floor of his room. Wilbur doesn’t help him pick up the pieces, just smiling as Tommy screams in pain. He doesn’t hurt, not physically at least. It’s emotional. It’s more guilt than anger. He should have known, he should have stopped him.

“C’mon Toms,” Wilbur offers Tommy his hand, and Tommy grabs him, holding onto Wilbur’s hand like it’s his lifeline. “Lets go and make a new base now. One where Techno and Schlatt can’t find you.”

Tommy doesn’t notice the look in Wilbur’s eyes, one that would haunt him if he only saw it. If he only noticed the smirk on Wilbur’s face while he was crying. He didn’t even notice how Wilbur only mentioned that Tommy would be staying at the new base.

He should have known better.

---

“Techno,” Schlatt says from the podium, watching as Techno rides into Manburg on his horse. Tubbo’s eyes widen as he sees the exhausted look in Techno’s eyes. “I know that you don’t understand what we’re trying to do here, but this isn’t when-”

“Wilbur’s gone insane.” Techno says, hopping off of the horse. “He’s kidnapped Tommy. I need your help. I’ll do anything, just help me get my little brother back.”

“He kidnapped Tommy?” Tubbo’s voice is quiet, echoing over the shocked crowd.

“Why?” Nikki yells. “Why would he do that?”

“Techno, please tell me that you’re lying.” Eret says, walking over to the fellow king. “One king to another, please tell me that this is a lie.”

“Why would I lie about something like this!” Techno’s voice breaks, and the group stands shocked as all of his emotions come out. “My little brother’s been kidnapped and you lot are the only people who can help!”

“We’ll help.” Quackity says immediately, stepping down from the podium and walking towards Techno. “What do you need us to do?”

“Quackity, why would we-” Schlatt frowns, confusion on his face. “Why would we offer help to Techno? For all we know he’s going to take us to a trap.”

“I should have listened to him.” Tubbo says under his breath, horror written on his face. “Oh god, this is all my fault!”

“What do you mean?” Schlatt asks, frowning at the teen. “How is this your fault?”

“Tommy,” Tubbo’s panicking now, hyperventilating as everyone's eyes rest on him. “He told me that Wilbur had lost it, shit.”

“Tubbo just because you were warned-” Nikki begins, trying to calm the boy down. “-doesn’t mean that this is your fault.”

“You don’t understand Nikki! He wanted to run, to run away. I said no! This is my fault! I made him go back!”

---

Tommy sits on the cliffside, watching the waves hit against the cliff as Dream and Wilbur work on hiding their new base. Tommy pulls his cloak around him, clinging onto the naive hope that everything will get better. That Tubbo and Techno and Nikki and Fundy and even Eret will join the trio. They won't. Even so, Tommy clings to the hope, his eyes tired and empty.

He doesn’t want to be alone again.

“Tommy!” Dream calls out to him, and Tommy lifts his head, looking over at the adult. “We’ve built you a room, you should come in.”

“Okay.” Tommy’s voice falls flat, nearly disappearing under the crashing of the waves. “Coming.”

He stands, walking over to the hole that Wilbur and Dream had cut into the cliff face. He misses the glance that the pair exchange, walking into the room. It’s not small, though it is roughly hewn and the walls are made of thick stone. A pocket of granite rests on the far wall, and some diorite lies in the ceiling and the floor. A table rests in the room, made of oak, and a furnace lies against the wall, next to a chest with a crafting bench in the corner. A starter base, that’s what it looks like to him. A bed rests in a corner, and without a second thought, Tommy lies down on it, knowing that this room isn’t the one they were referencing, but being too scared to risk respawning in Pogtopia again.

That was the wrong thing to do.

Tommy stands, and Dream ender pearls behind the teen. Blood falls from Tommy’s lips and pain blooms from his chest. Dream pulls the sword from Tommy’s chest and the teen lets loose a scream, gut wrenching and heart breaking and painful to hear. Tommy falls to the ground, betrayal and fear written across his face. He looks at Wilbur who just smiles at him, and the universe turns him to dust.

TommyInnit was slain by Dream

Tubbo lets loose a scream, pain in his voice as he reads through the message that everyone received. Techno growls, throwing his axe into a tree in rage. Nikki lets loose a cry as Eret holds Tubbo together, Fundy punching a wall in the background. The Manburgians look as though fury isn’t an emotion, but something that they can wield as a weapon. Schlatt glares at the forest, but doesn’t move as Quackity lets loose a scream of rage.

“That bastard!” Quackity screams. “That fucking bastard!”

“We need to find him.” Techno glares at the forest, hopping onto his horse. “I’m going to see if he spawned in Pogtopia.”

“I’ll check spawn.” Eret says, and he offers his hand to Tubbo. “You should come with me, he’ll be more comfortable if you’re there.”

Tubbo takes his hand, silently thankful that he doesn’t have to stay with Schlatt or Nikki again. He doesn’t mind the group, really, he doesn’t, but he can’t deal with their constant ‘are you okay’s and ‘you should take a break’s. It’s as though the pair put aside their problems with each other to focus their energy on him, and Tubbo can’t stand it. It’s a nice sentiment, but he’ll kill them if they ask him again.

“Tubbo, are you-”

“If you ask me if I’m okay I’ll install a hack and fucking destroy your castle, Eret.” Tubbo glares at the ground. “What’s Dream going to do? Kick me out? He killed Tommy!”

“Why does it bother you so much this time?” Eret asks, curiosity in their voice.

“I don’t know.” Tubbo admits. “I guess I just thought that he’d help Tommy out.”

“Maybe he did.” Eret says. “Maybe he got Tommy away from Wilbur, we won’t know until we see him, after all.”

“I don’t think he killed him to help Tommy out.” Tubbo glares at the dirt, as though it was the dirts fault that his friend is missing. “But you know Dream better than I do, what do you think?”

Eret stares out towards the sunset, as the pair walk towards the secret entrance to the spawn chunk. Eret sighs deeply, adjusting their glasses onto their face and running their hands through their hair. “I think that you’re right.” They admit. “Dream doesn’t do anything to help anyone else unless it means that he can use it to his advantage.”

They enter spawn, and find it empty, as though no one had been there in a very long time.

---

“Tommy! Tommy I’m here!” Techno yells, running down the steps to Pogtopia. He doesn’t care that Quackity followed him, or that Nikki watches him with worried eyes. Composure be damned, his little brother needs him.

The trio race through Pogtopia, searching every nook and cranny for the youngest member of the server. Nikki screams her voice hoarse in the forest surrounding Pogtopia, and Quackity scours the nether without seeing hide nor hair of the teen. Techno tears the ravine apart, searching for the boy. None of them see him, and as Quackity and Nikki return to Pogtopia, to help Techno, they find him in Tommy’s room, gently holding onto something. They exchange glances, noticing how Techno’s communicator rests on the bedside table, his messages unchecked.

He doesn’t know that Tommy hadn’t respawned in a place that they can find him. He doesn’t know that Tommy could be anywhere. He doesn’t know that Dream didn’t free the boy.

“Techno?” Quackity’s voice is quiet, and he sinks down next to the man. “We couldn’t find him.”

“I should have taken him with me last night.” Techno breathes, and Nikki pulls him into a hug.

“You couldn’t have, Wilbur killed you.” Nikki says. “It’s alright, Techno. I’m sure Tommy’s alright.”

“He didn’t respawn at spawn, did he?” Techno asks, and the look on Quackity’s face, one of complete despair, answers louder than any words could. “I need- I could,” Techno’s voice is shaky, upset. “Dad. I need to tell Dad.”

“You can call him now,” Quackity helps Techno to his foot, pushing the crown further back onto Techno’s head. “We’ll wait.”

“Thank you.” Techno says, leaving the ravine that he spent months in. Nikki brushes tears from her eyes, and Quackity pulls her into a hug.

“We’ll find him.” Quackity promises. “We’ll make sure he’s okay.”

---

“Wilbur, please let me out!” Tommy yells, his eyes tired and empty. “Please, I promise I won’t leave this base I just hate small spaces please, Wil!” Tommy bangs his fist on the door, his eyes wide and pleading as he looks up to his older brother.

“I can’t let you out, Tommy.” Wilbur sounds sad, regretful almost. It confuses Tommy, making him wonder what the hell is going on with Wilbur. “I can’t let you get hurt. Schlatt wants to permakill you, I wont let him. So you have to stay in here.”

“Please Wil.” Tommy begs, watching helplessly as Wilbur seals the door with a layer of cobble. Tommy rests his head against the cool metal of the iron, tears falling down his face. “Please.”

---

“It’s been two days!” Tubbo yells, glaring at Schlatt. “We have to go get him, now!”

“We don’t know where he is, Tubbo.”

“Then let me hack!”

“Absolutely not!” Nikki says, standing up. “You’ll be kicked the second that Dream finds out!”

“I could do it.” Fundy says. “I’m good at coding, hacking can’t be too hard.”

“Fundy-” George goes to protest, before shaking his head. “-It’s too risky. Sure, you’ve got more protection from Dream than Tubbo has, but Dream isn’t dumb. He’d know that Tubbo taught you.”

“We need to find Tommy-”

“And we will.” Eret says, standing up from his throne. “But we first need to separate into search parties, to coordinate groups so that there's an even amount of fighters in each group. We will need people here to man the fort and make sure that Wilbur and Dream don’t blow everything sky high, and to be prepared to deal with injuries. We’ll need groups to search everywhere and everything, to be packs for weeks of searching.” Eret takes a deep breath in, their voice quiet. “It takes time to plan these sorts of things, Tubbo. We need to make sure everything is correct or else we’ll be wasting time.”

“We’re playing with his life!” Tubbo protests, and everyone makes noises of protest, except for one.

“I know.” Eret sighs. “But we have to trust that Tommy is strong enough to hold out until we can find him.”

“A few days could make the difference between life and death.”

“I know.”

“And we’re just going to hope that he’ll be fine?”

“It’s all we can do, right now.” Eret sighs, a sad expression on their face. “I wish it was different. I really do. I wish we were just looking for Wilbur and Dream to have a final showdown and then we could send them both off to therapy, to get them help. But it's a rescue mission, and we have to do this right.”

Techno stands, walking out of the room. Everyone stares after him, no one knowing what to do, why he would leave. Nikki walks to the window he was gazing out of and gasps, seeing something, someone she doesn’t know anymore.

---

“You called Phil.” Wilbur says plainly, sitting on the castle walls. Techno glares up at him, and Wilbur laughs. “Oh, don’t give me that look, we both know that you did! Is he coming?”

“Wil-”

“Did he even pick up?” Wilbur asks quietly, almost sadly. Techno looks away, not knowing what to say. The truth would make Wilbur think he’s right, the lie would only serve to hurt them all.

“No.” The truth is spoken, and it can’t be taken back. “He didn’t pick up.”

“I thought so.” Wilbur sighs. “He never comes for you, does he?”

“Don’t make this about me.”

“You’re always ignored, left behind by him. By us.” Wilbur puts him hand on Techno’s shoulder. “We’ve treated you so poorly that you’d betray us. And I just wanted to apologise for that.”

A notification buzzes on the pairs communicators, and Wilbur pulls it out, looking at it. His face pales, and he looks at Techno with wide eyes, as though whatever is said is terrifying. Their communicators buzz again, and Wilbur quickly runs towards his horse, offering his hand to Techno.

“Somethings slaughtering Tommy.” Wilbur says, and Techno takes his hand, leaving with his brother.

TommyInnit was suffocated trying to escape Dream TommyInnit was suffocated TommyInnit was suffocated TommyInnit was suffocated

“We have to go now!” Tubbo screams, pushing Eret. “We have to go help him! Give me my fucking keyboard I don’t care if I get banned!”

“You should!” Eret argues back. Nikki nods, while the room watches the pair argue, a mixture of horror and anger on everyone’s faces.

“Well I don’t!” Tubbo screams back, tears racing down his face, flushed red with anger. “I don’t care if I’m banned, Tommy needs our help!”

“Where will you go?” Eret asks. “If you get banned for hacking you realise that other servers won’t exactly want you on them, right?”

“Then I’ll go to a world by myself!” Tubbo’s voice breaks, his face falling. “Please Eret, we have to get him back.”

“Then we should follow Wilbur.” Schlatt says, walking towards the door. “Tubbo, stay here with Eret and Nikki, we’ll message you if we need you to hack. Quackity, Punz, Sap and George follow me.”

TommyInnit was suffocated TommyInnit was suffocated TommyInnit was suffocated TommyInnit was suffocated

It burnt as it forced its way down his throat. Swimming in sand and gravel and concrete powder, the only way to tell the three apart is through textures that he doesn’t bother to differentiate anymore. It’s too hard to move, anymore. It’s almost like he’s floating in the different textures, though it’s all he can feel. It burnt. It still burns. Tears spring in his eye, though he doesn’t have the energy to let them fall anymore. He doesn’t have the energy to do much anymore, just to let himself suffocate in the shit Dream put on him.

He used to struggle. It feels like he’s been there for years, struggling and fighting against the inevitable. Dream coming into his cell with a netherite sword and anger feels like it happened centuries ago, the fear gone. His eyes close, and he opens his mouth and lets more gravel fall into his lungs, waiting for the blissful moments between death and life.

TommyInnit was suffocated

Techno urges the horse to run faster, worry eating at his stomach. Who would spawn trap his little brother? Why would Dream fight Tommy if he’s already trapped somewhere? Why would Wilbur help him find Tommy?

Is Wilbur back?

The horse jumps over a tree, Wilbur leaning into the action. Techno takes out a crossbow, and a skeleton dissipates into a cloud of smoke. A buzz sounds from his pocket.

TommyInnit was suffocated

Schlatt runs, following the horse’s footprints deeper into the forest, a sinking feeling setting in his stomach. This feels too staged, too much as though Wilbur brought himself to Eret’s castle to sway Techno back to his side. Still, he’s determined. He can bring Tommy to safety. He’ll even give the teen citizenship again if it means that he’ll stay away from Wilbur.

His lungs ache, and his feet and calves burn from exhaustion. He keeps running, Sapnap and Punz falling behind to fight the mobs that quickly spawn around them. Schlatt only grunts in response to Sapnap, telling them to keep following the trail.

They can’t afford to be too late. Tommy is too young to perma-die because someone doesn’t know the laws of the universe.

TommyInnit was suffocated

“We need bandages, health and regen pots and honey.” Nikki orders, sending people across both of the countries to find the items she needs. Tubbo paces nervously, Eret not allowing him out of sight from the fear that he’d do something stupid.

He would. But Eret doesn’t need to know that.

“Tubbo, please stop pacing.” Eret asks him quietly, wrapping his cape around the teen’s shoulders. “We have to trust that Schlatt, George, Sapnap and Punz will bring him back.”

“They’ll kill him. They’ll permakill him.” Tubbo’s eyes go dark. “I know they will. They’re monsters.”

TommyInnit was suffocated

Wilbur was supposed to be back by now. Dream watches as Tommy turns into a fine dust once more, waiting for the man to return. He taps his foot, his sword in his hand. He doesn’t want to kill Techno, but if the hybrid loses a finger or an arm while he’s decommissioning him, well.

Dream wouldn’t necessarily mind that. He would even consider it a blessing, taking Techno down a peg.

Horses hoover thunder over the horizon, and Dream’s smile widens under his mask, patting the top of Tommy’s head. He enderpearls to the top of a tree, watching as the two brothers run towards where he had pulled Tommy and his bed to.

Wilbur plays his role well. Dream can’t wait to see how this act will end.

TommyInnit was suffocated

The kingdom is silent. Tubbo stares out the window, catching himself as he slowly lulls himself to sleep, waiting for Tommy to arrive. He pulls Eret’s cape close to himself, blinking as he struggles to stay awake. Nikki sleeps on Eret’s throne, the medical supplies lying nearby. Eret stay awake, pacing the rooms and corridors of the castle. No one else remained, having left to return to the comfort of their own beds.

Sapnap and Punz had returned a few hours before midnight, talking in hushed whispers about mobs and losing the president and his cabinet. Nikki had told them that there would be a search party for the group if they do not return before dawn. Had sworn it to them. All parties involved had wondered why she wasn’t president, in that moment.

None had dared to ask her out loud, though Tubbo was close to.

It had been two hours since Sapnap and Punz had left, and at least four hours since Tommy’s last death message in chat. Not comforting, not uncomfortable. Eret scrolls through his messages, hoping and praying for a message from anyone, even Wilbur or Dream. Maybe its just hope that he’ll get a message telling him that Tommy is alright, maybe it’s fear about hearing the worst, but he remains awake, watching Tubbo struggle to remain awake.

Tubbo’s head lolls onto the window pane, and Eret notices his breathing even, the teen falling into a sleep that Eret can only pray is peaceful. The man picks up Tubbo, carrying him to a spare bedroom and gently tucking him into bed. He shuts the door, walking out into the garden.

The air is cool, nipping at his skin unpleasantly. He misses the warmth that summer brings, but the autumnal air doesn’t feel uncomfortable just yet. His communicator buzzes. Once. Twice. Thrice, before his fingers fumble and he picks it up, not bothering to find out who is calling him.

“Eret!” Phil’s voice crackles over the communicator. “Techno called me, said something’s wrong. That Wilbur kidnaped Tommy and gone insane. But he’s not picking up anymore. Do you know where they are?”

“Tommy was trapped in a death loop the last time I saw Techno or Wilbur.” Eret admits, staring at the moon. “I don’t know what’s happened to any of them. They haven’t sent a message in at least four hours. And the last message was a death notification for Tommy, so that hardly counts.”

“Tommy was still dying at eight?” Phil’s voice is fearful, quiet. “Do you know what was killing him?”

“He first suffocated trying to get away from Dream, then it was just suffocation.” Eret feels tears being to pool in his eyes. “I don’t know if I want the answer to if he’s still alive. He died so many times, the poor thing will be traumatised beyond recognition if...”

Neither of them finish the sentence, the idea of Tommy’s demise hanging heavily over their heads. Eret paces the garden, watching the flowers sway in the breeze. They need someone to come, to save everyone and make everything go back to normal.

“Who went to go rescue him, besides Wilbur and Techno?”

“Schlatt, George and Quackity. Sapnap and Punz also went, but they returned two hours ago when the mobs got too hard for them to fight. The group separated because of mobs, apparently.” Eret frowns. “Punz said it was unnatural, how many were spawning.”

“Could Dream have spawned them in to keep Tommy and the others where he had them?” Phil asks quietly.

“I don’t know.” Eret admits. “Probably.”

“I’ll meet you at spawn. I’ll bring the captain as well, I’m assuming Tubbo is trying to hack?” Phil’s voice is light, but it carries a heavy threat for Wilbur and Dream.

“I only just got him to sleep.” Eret runs his hands through his hair. “See you soon.”

[wlntrsldler]

No Clue (Bucky Barnes Imagine)

PROMPT: Y/N and Bucky hate each other. Nobody knows why. Whenever someone asks, the pair just say, “I have my reasons.” Some think that something happened between them when Bucky was in hiding. Some think that Bucky did something to Y/N when he was the Winter Soldier. Some think that there’s no actual reason- they simply hate each other.

MASTERLIST

-

There was an ongoing bet in the Tower. What was the real reason as to why you and Bucky hate each other? The problem is, nobody really knew exactly why you two did. It was like an unspoken truth that you both kept to yourselves and promised to take to the grave. The only thing people knew about you two was that you knew each other before you both joined the team. But of course, everyone on the team had their own experience with Bucky and yourself, individually, more so terrible and potentially life-threatening experiences over a pleasant ones. 

“Can you not fight in front of the food?” Nat rolled her eyes, taking another spoonful of cereal to her mouth. “Your energy is upsetting me.”

“It’s not my fault Barnes doesn’t know how to say excuse me.”

“Who the fuck stops in the middle of the hallway?” Bucky hissed. “Like seriously? Who walks then just stops?”

“Who the fuck doesn’t look at where they’re going?”

“Again, your energy is upsetting me.” Nat said again, this time her tone harsher. “Stop bickering.”

“He started it.”

“Did not.”

“Did too.”

“Did no-”

“I give up.”Nat stood up, taking her bowl of cereal with her to her own room. 

Bucky stared at you from across the table, his eyes burning holes through your skull. His nostrils were flared and you could see exactly where the coffee stain hit his white shirt. “So you’re not even gonna apologize for spilling coffee on me?”

You didn’t mean to make him spill his coffee. He ran into you, not the other way around. “I didn’t do shit to you, Barnes.”

“You spilled my coffee on me!” He exclaimed, waving his arms up and down to emphasize the stained state of his shirt. “And it was hot too. It burned me.”

“That sucks.”

Bucky sighed, closing his eyes and rubbing his temples. “You’re such a bitch, Y/N.”

“Thanks.”

He shook his head one more time before picking up his half-empty coffee mug and walking out of the dining room. You giggled under your breath, loving the way you were able to piss him off with the smallest things. He was so fun to mess with.

You can’t lie. Sometimes you purposely did things just to piss him off. What can you say? It was funny. Bucky always reacted so dramatically whenever you were involved and it was more fun pushing his buttons than doing the paperwork you were meant to be doing. You had a way of getting under his skin. You were the only one that had that effect on him so naturally, you took advantage of it. 

Bucky’s skin got irritated by this one brand of dryer sheets. He’d break out in small patches of rashes and he would always end up having to go get medical ointment to calm his skin down. Bucky was shy as is, so him, a 100+ year old super-soldier, chunky and built, having to make himself as small as possible to go unnoticed to buy some ointment was the highlight of your long, long days as an Avenger. So of course, whenever you did the shopping, you made sure to pick up that exact brand just to make him take that humiliating trip.

He also hated Strawberry jam, stating that it was too sweet for his tastebuds. You’d joke about how he probably had diabetes because of his old age- to which he would reply with his own witty comment. Just to spite him, you always picked up Strawberry jam, even if you were a Grape jam lover yourself. He would curse you, irritated that he wasn’t able to have his PB&J sandwiches because of your practical joke. The man was attached to the snack, it was borderline unhealthy. 

But, as fate has it, he was also the only one who had that effect on you, too. Just as much as you bothered him, he bothered you. He would purposely embarrass you in front of important people and find ways to make your life just that bit harder so he could have the final laugh. 

You were the only one in the team who drank almond milk, not being able to stand the taste of regular cow milk, so whenever Steve went grocery shopping, he always made sure to buy you a carton for yourself. And low and behold, you would drag yourself out of bed at around 11AM to make yourself some breakfast and you’d find Bucky in the middle of the kitchen, a smirk on his stupid face while he drinks out of the carton of your almond milk. 

You’d start yelling at him, calling him an asshole, a dick, and just about every name in the book. Steve would come rushing in, worried at all the commotion just to walk away disappointed because you and Bucky would be arguing again. Steve would just slide you a $5 bill to buy yourself another carton of milk, just for the same thing to happen the next day. 

You and Bucky had a special relationship, indeed. And only the two of you understood it.

- 

“Sam,” You laughed, wiping the sweat off your forehead. “Give it up. I’m not telling you.”

“Come on, Y/N,” He whined, trailing behind you as you walked out of the training room. “I promise I won’t tell anyone.”

“I am not telling you why I hate Bucky.”

This was a phrase you grew to memorize. It seemed like everyday someone from the team would practically beg you to tell them exactly why you hated Bucky. You were sure that they also bothered Bucky with their annoyances after they bombarded you. Thankfully, Bucky was smart enough, shocking to you, to not tell them a thing either. The team was frustrated at your stubbornness, wanting nothing else but to know what lies behind the mutual hate and absolute resentment for one another. 

You bid Sam a farewell and walked to your room, ready to take a shower. You looked down at your bruised knee from a mission for one second, not realizing someone was in the middle of the hallway to your room. You looked up to apologize but your sympathetic smile quickly turned into a scowl when you realized who it was. Bucky. “Get out of my way.”

“It’s not fun when you’re on the other side, huh?” Bucky smirked, referring to your encounter in the morning. “Now imagine getting burned by scalding coffee with that too.”

“Did you seriously wait in the hallway just for me to bump into you?” You tried to shove past him. His hard chest made that difficult. His feet were planted on the ground he stood on, not showing any signs of leaving any time soon. “You don’t have anything better to do?”

“I just wanted to give you a taste of your own medicine.”

“Fuck off.”

“I actually had something to tell you, if you would just shut your pretty little mouth for one second and let me talk.” You could practically feel his smugness. It was dripping off his voice like sweet, poisonous honey. “We have that mission together tomorrow. Or did you forget?”

“I’m a professional, Barnes. I don’t forget.” You replied, you took a sip from your water bottle, nearly moaning at the refreshing feeling of the cold drink. “I don’t get why they choose to pair us up knowing we don’t like each other.”

He finally moved out of the way, leaning against the wall to let you pass. “They know we work well together.” 

That was true.

Despite the way you two were at each other’s throats all the time, no pair could ever accomplish a mission as efficiently and flawlessly as you and Bucky. You shrugged before walking away from him, disappearing into the dark hallway, but not before you raised a finger up in the air for him to see. 

And yes, it was that finger.

Bucky chuckled when he saw you raise your hand to flip him off. You were truly something. He was about to retreat to his own room for the night when Sam saw him, running towards him excitedly. Oh, great, Bucky thought, here we go again. 

“Buck nasty,” Sam started, cocking an eyebrow. “Will today be the day when you finally tell me the history between you and Y/N?”

“Not a chance, Wilson.”

“What the hell is wrong with the two of you?” Sam groaned, punching Bucky’s metal arm in absolute annoyance. “For two people who hate each other, you two seem to have a mutual trust pumping through your veins. You remain loyal to each other over the rest of the team.”

“What can I say? Me and Y/N are an unusual pair.”

“You two are the devil’s incarnates.”

Bucky just laughed at the comment, silently agreeing. There was something devilish about the way the two of you kept your secret between just the two of you. There was a rush, like you were in on a secret that would blow the team’s minds. Quite frankly, if they knew why the two of you despised each other, they would be shocked. Or maybe they wouldn’t. Sometimes Bucky thought that the reason was so obvious, basic even, but other times he laughed silently at the reactions the team might have upon finding out. Such a shame that he’ll never know if they’ll actually respond as he imagined because the team would never find out about the truth.

-

“Okay, now that they’re off on a mission, any updates?” Tony asked, looking around the room. 

It became a tradition in the tower to hold these meetings whenever you and Bucky were off to a mission. The team did their own individual research about your past lives and reported back to the team before you two got back home. Sure, maybe, it was a bit overboard for them to basically hold a town-hall meeting just to find out information that they truly had no business even looking into, but what were they meant to do? You and Bucky both had hard exteriors that nobody could ever crack. 

Even Steve, Bucky’s oldest pal, was left in the dark by his best friend. Every time Steve brought you up, Bucky would just get up and walk away. Even when they were in potentially dangerous situations, midst missions and all. 

There was a time when Bucky and Steve went to Russia to capture a HYDRA agent. They hid behind a shipping container for a few minutes to get some protection before running back into the field of gunfire. Steve thought that there was no way Bucky could avoid answering the question now. But he was mistaken.

“So Buck,” Steve started, checking the surroundings to make sure they were safe for the time being. “What’s the story between you and Y/N?”

Steve stared at Bucky long enough to see the brunette roll his eyes. Steve heard some shuffling behind him so he turned to look, only to find nothing. When he turned around to face Bucky, he had already emerged from behind the shipping container into the open space, blocking bullets with his arm. 

Steve sighed, “If you didn’t wanna answer, you could’ve just said that, Buck.”

Because of that story, the team understood just what great lengths the both of you would go through just to avoid answering the question. So since neither of you would ever give them the time of day, they had to do their own research.

“Nada for me,” Nat groaned, throwing a stack of papers that lead to a dead-end onto the coffee table. “It was like Y/N was a ghost story, just like the Winter Soldier.”

“Okay, whatever they’re hiding might just be the cause of the possible end of the world because this is just ridiculous.” Sam stated, throwing his hands up in defeat. “Why are they so adamant about not telling us why they hate each other?”

“Who knows?” Wanda chipped in, shrugging and returning her attention back to her phone. She was one of the few who completely gave up on trying to figure things out, following Steve. She accepted defeat, realizing that the two assassins simply did not like each other. It never bothered her personally so she let it go. “Why are we still trying to figure this out? It’s been months. I say we give it a rest.”

“I agree.” Steve replied, nodding towards Wanda’s direction. “It’s their business, guys.”

-

You leaned back on the back seat, chest rising up and down, a bead of sweat rolling off your temple. You shifted your leg to get more comfortable in the small space in the car. You looked over your shoulder to look at him, a smirk displayed on his face as his breathing mimicked yours. 

“You good?” You asked, giggling after catching your breath. 

“Perfect,” Bucky nodded, reaching over your waist to pull you closer to his body. “Always so good with you.”

You playfully shoved him off, starting to clean yourself up. You would never admit it to him but you always loved to relish these short, yet sweet, moments that you two shared. Your shirt was on the floor, next to his pants and your hair was in disarray. The windows were fogged and the car smelled distinctly of sex and fresh pine, the car freshener that Bucky picked up in the liquor store on the way home, knowing what will happen next as it always happened after every mission. You looked out the tinted window seeing the outline of the Avengers tower. “How long do you think it will take for them to finally realize we’re fucking?”

You felt him shrug behind your skin. “Who knows? I thought we’d only have to keep this up for a few weeks but it’s been a few months now and they still have no idea.”

“Some Avengers they are.”

Bucky laughed at your comment, leaning over to leave a quick peck on your lips. “Agreed.”

[yeojaa]

( GHOST IN MY BED. )

Sometimes, hating someone is the only thing you can do.

pairing.  jjk x named f!reader.  a bit of jhs x named f!reader (but not really)?

genre + rating.   rockstar!au.  e2l (exes n enemies!).  general flangst?  anguf?  a blend of angst and fluff, tbh.  mainly angst tho.

tags / warnings.  sibling dynamics, introspective sadness, talk about not-so-healthy relationships (obviously), dumbass!jk, asshole!jk, jealous!jk, how many more jk tags can i add?, a silly reference to scott pilgrim.  nothing serious. 

beta reader(s).  @hobi-gif​ aka the loml!!!

wc.  3.1k

chapter four.

You and Yoongi don’t fight.  It’s always been a point of pride - something to look at and smile on. 

That must be why it feels so terrible now, with his knuckles blown white and enough rage to start a war simmering within his veins.  You’ve never seen him like this:  a world away from your soft Yoon, your best friend, your beloved brother.

“Yoongi, really--” 

“No.  Stop saying that.”  Despite the fact that you know his anger isn’t directed at you - that you’re the farthest target in his mind - it still hurts, like getting caught in friendly fire.  Pinpricks of guilt spill across your skin, nerve endings shot to hell by the way his mouth curls and tears, venom laced between his teeth and draped across his tongue.  “He came here and you didn’t tell me?  I told you - I’ll kill him.”

Hyperbole, you’re sure, but you can’t help the way your heart stutters.  A little oh no for a boy who doesn’t deserve it - whose silhouette still carves a spectacularly painful hole in your chest.

“I didn’t want you to worry--”  It’s not an excuse.  It’s not meant to be.  You never lie to Yoongi.  Frankly, you don’t think you could.  

“You’re my sister.”

It’s enough of a rebuttal that you’re reduced to silence.  He’s right.  You’re family;  family don’t keep secrets.

“I’m sorry,”  you try again, feeble and emphatic.  

There’s an unbearable distance between you - a sea’s worth of sadness that rocks the rickety boat you’ve built.  You can practically see it stretching on and on, sweeping you further and further from his safe shores.  It’s an awful feeling. 

“You’re my sister,”  he repeats, suddenly so tired you worry for him.  For once, he looks that much older than you, as if five years have forced passages of experience within his pages.  “You can’t hide things from me.  Who’s going to be there for you if not me?”  

You want to rebuff him - insist that you’re stronger than he gives you credit for - but you know it’s not what he means.  More than anyone, Yoongi believes in you.  He sees your strength even when you can’t see your own;  he’s been that strength more times than you can count.  

The reality of your situation isn’t lost on you.

He’s the only one who knows everything you’ve been through.  A diary in living breathing form, full of your most shameless secrets, your deepest worries, your worst heartbreaks.  

“I know.”  Apology threads each syllable, stitches them neatly to each other.  The sincerity is blinding, bright white and earnest.  “I didn’t mean to make you worry.”  

The smile he offers is rueful, twisting the edge of his mouth in a manner you’ve adopted over the years.  You return it without thought and then, all at once, the expanse is closed.  He’s laughing - a sound that doesn’t ring true in the way you know it should - but it’s a laugh and you know everything is okay.

“Still worried,”  he returns with a quiet sigh and flick of his wrist.

You’re with him in a breath, curled against his side on the couch you’d cried yourself to sleep on just days ago.  While you’re both far closer in size than you’ve ever been - you were always a tiny kid growing up, even against Yoongi’s own slim frame - it’s reminiscent of your childhood and being caught beneath haphazardly strewn sheets and disorganised chaos in the form of blanket forts.

Dry lips find a home against the side of your head, his arm dragging you to warmth.  “You’re an idiot, you know.”  He says it in the way only an older brother can - with all the frustration and love in the world.  

You do know, intimately well, how idiotic you are.  Have been.  Seemingly always will be.

“I know,”  you mumble, sad into the raised hood of your sweater.  “But I made him leave.”  It sounds like a child begging for praise - to be told they’ve done well.  You won’t deny you need it now.  

Good is the first thing Yoongi says, a little flippant and with a hard set of his jaw.  More comes when he catches your expression and the way the dent forms between your brows, the tiny pout of your lips.  It’s the same face you’ve made all your life - one that hits him right behind the ribs like a Whack-A-Mole game at the carnival.

“You did good, Vivi.  I’m proud of you.”  They’re bandages, sticky and adhesive on the stitches Jungkook’s visit had torn open.  “You’re great and he’s…”  There are words he’d like to use - a million scathing adjectives to paint the asshole in technicolour - but he knows better.  Knows you can’t take it, at least not right now.  “He doesn’t deserve you.  You get that, right?  You’re better off without him.”

You nod against his side but offer nothing further.  The silence speaks worrying volumes.

“You’re not going to answer him again, right?”  

Some half-mumbled non-committal response comes.  Yoongi wants to tear his own hair out.  Better yet, he wants to tear yours out.  Instead, he blows a long exhale through his nose, free hand coming to scrub across his face.  When will you learn?  

“I’m scared.”

It’s so quiet even you hardly hear it, ear tucked against the cotton of Yoongi’s flannel.  You think, for a moment, maybe he’s missed it too.  Then he squeezes you a little tighter:  a silent reassurance.

“Seeing him again just brings back so many memories.”  Every other word is muffled but it’s the most you can do.  Courage is carried quietly - too loud and you’ll shatter it.  “I thought three years would be enough.  It should be, right?”

It’s a rhetorical question;  Yoongi still debates answering it, just for his own sake.

“Maybe he’s changed.  Or maybe I’ve changed.  It could be different.”  It’s a clandestine belief and one you shouldn’t speak to life - especially to your brother.  It spills forth of its own accord, wrong for so many reasons but begging to be asked.  You have no control over it and the hope it sows somewhere within your chest.

“You can’t actually believe that.”  

It’s infinitely more scathing than Hoseok’s reaction, tearing out of Yoongi’s mouth like a bullet.  You can’t help the way you frown, brows drawn and lips pursed.  You’ve known Yoongi your whole life.  Reading between the lines feels like you’re fucking stupid but you know it’s not quite so harsh.  A frustrated you dumb idiot, maybe.

“Don’t make that face.”  

“I’m not making any face.”  

“Yes, you are.  It’s the same one you made when I embarrassed you on your first date.  Also the one you made after you threw up all over Hoseok’s shoes the first night you met him.”  The recollection doesn’t help your cause - you’re grimacing even more deeply, chagrin spilling into misery in the form of red hot heat over your cheeks.  “Don’t resent me for being realistic, Vivi.  You know he hasn’t changed.”

The silence is childish.  You know that.

“You can’t fix people.”

He arrives with flowers.  Two full bunches of your favourite blooms - pretty peonies in shades of coral and lavender.  They’re heavy in his arms, held so gingerly it’s almost comical as he extracts himself from the vehicle he most definitely should not be driving.  He wonders whether you’ll be home - if he’ll get to see your expression when he presents them to you.  He hopes you’ll light up, brighter than the sun in the sky and better than any nightlight.  

What he doesn’t expect is someone walking up the sidewalk, gym bag slung across his shoulder like he’s getting ready to settle in for a long night.  Short - atleast a few inches shorter than himself - with a stupid face that makes Jungkook want to punch it.  Dumb shoes, too.  Who the fuck wears Off-White Jordan 1s in that colourway?

There’s a permanent scowl etched across his face as he watches from behind the tinted comfort of his car, single hand caught around the edge of the door.  He’s vaguely aware of the fact that he’s perhaps crushing the stems cradled in his arms, inked knuckles blown white around quickly crumpling brown paper.

Maybe he’s your neighbour.  Or maybe he’s going to the other house or maybe—

No, he’s definitely walking right up the front path.

The words are out before Jungkook can stop them, shouted into the quiet afternoon more loudly than he anticipates.  “Hey!”

Dumbass with the face turns, full of surprise and wandering eyes.  He hesitates halfway up your stoop, looking stupider than ever as he looks around for the source of the voice.  

Then his stare falls on the brunet with his hands full and it’s like a flip has switched - mouth hardening into a line that raises the hairs on the back of Jungkook’s neck.  He’s glaring at him (or something close to it).  

Seriously - who is this fucker?

“Can I help you?”  Hoseok speaks far more reasonably, at an octave that doesn’t shatter the peace of the residential neighbourhood.  He’s still caught on the steps, fist tight around the strap of his bag as he studies the man - no, boy - that jogs up to meet him, two rungs the only thing separating the two of them.

“Do you know Vira?”

A part of Hoseok flinches at Jungkook’s casual use of your name - like he knows you or deserves to address you like an old friend.  This kid really was clueless.

When he speaks, he’s perfectly composed, tension held tight behind his teeth.  “I said, can I help you?”

Jungkook bristles at the response, some snarky comment threatening to knock the other off his apparent high horse.  He barely catches it, grinding it down into a fine powder beneath his molars.  He has to tread lightly here. 

“I’m a friend of hers.”  Not a lie, per se.  You two were friends;  after all, you’d come when he’d called.  That meant something, right?  Had to. 

“A friend?”  Disbelief slips into place, evident in the tone of Hoseok’s voice, how his brows shift beneath his chestnut fringe.  He knows better than to believe Jungkook - has heard all the heartbreaking stories - but he can’t quite keep the worry from worming it’s way into his thoughts.  They settle uncomfortably, just beneath the surface. “Is she expecting you?”

Everything about Hoseok makes Jungkook hate him.  From the sneakers he wears to the watch on his wrist - understated, all gold, more expensive than a nerd like him should have - there’s something undoubtedly punchable about him.

It certainly has nothing to do with the fact that he’s seemingly close with you.  Definitely not.

“I was going to surprise her.”  The flowers are held aloft, gesticulated in the best manner Jungkook can manage with his arms so full.  “I didn’t know she was expecting you.”  It’s a cheap tactic - recycling words - but he can’t think of much else beyond fitting his foot into this guy’s mouth.

“She’s not.”  Sharp, sparse, with no hint of indulgence.  Hoseok’s not about to get into a verbal sparring match with Jungkook.  It’s not worth his time.  

He is, however, going to put him in his place - and easily at that.

“She’s still at work.”  Slim bundle of keys rise - two unassuming and one for an Audi.  Perhaps unnecessary but Hoseok takes great pleasure in the other’s expression.

Tch is Jungkook’s first thought before the second smacks him straight in the face.  He has a key to your place?  The fact rubs him all the wrong ways despite the fact that he has no right to be bothered;  it isn’t his home any more - hasn’t been in years.  It still hurts, though, right behind his ribs and all the way down to the tips of his fingers.

Is this how you felt all those times?  

Something like nausea builds in Jungkook’s stomach, throwing acid up the walls of his throat.  It burns and strings, licking painfully all the way into his mouth.  His teeth ache - buzz uncomfortably - and his tongue feels suddenly far too heavy.  He wonders if he might choke on it.

Then, slowly, in a voice he doesn’t recognise.  Too soft, years younger, uncertain.  “Can you give these to her?”  He hates it.

He hates even more the way Hosoek looks at him, with such pity Jungkook wants to curl it around his fist and break the older man’s teeth with it.  It’s something he’s seen a handful of times - from you, from your brother, from his worried mother when she thinks he doesn’t notice.  It never gets easier. 

It forces him into a position he hasn’t been in in years:  weak.

“I don’t think so.”  By how calmly Hoseok speaks, it’s almost as if he’s commenting on the weather or passing along a banal bit of information.  It’s far too nonchalant to be breaking Jungkook’s heart, splitting it cleanly in two.

“Why not?”  Jungkook’s petulant, a child denied his favourite toy, forced into time-out.  

That’s not for you screams Hoseok’s expression.  She’s not for you.  “I’m not comfortable with doing so.”  

The sinking feeling hasn’t stopped for Jungkook.  It goes and goes until he wishes he were six feet under, buried under ground as low as he feels.  He should leave.  He knows he should leave - if only to stop the discomfort that’s gripping every nerve, twisting them like an elbow about to snap.  

“Anyway.”  There’s boredom working its way into Hoseok’s stare, relaxing the shape of his mouth until it falls wide around a short, terse sigh.  “If you’re friends, you can get in touch and drop them off later.”  

He’s done playing gatekeeper - can feel his frustration bubbling to the surface in a way he’s not about to entertain.  He nods once, dismissive, before turning away from the so-called rockstar that seems terribly small and the farthest thing from it.

“Goodbye.”  Then he’s disappearing into your home, leaving Jungkook on the steps with his tail between his legs.

You return home three hours later - blissfully unaware of what’s transpired.  

You set your dinner on the kitchen island, deftly unpacking takeout boxes as Hoseok hurries to your side to help.  You don’t mind when he bumps into you, knocking his hip against yours with a heart-shaped smile.

It burns a little brighter than usual.  “Good day?”  

He hums in response, sneaking a yellow tomato from the salad box he’s just popped open.  “Something like that.” 

“Something like that?”  You can’t help but echo him, a pretty parrot with shining eyes and a silk bow in your hair.  “Don’t play coy, Jung Hoseok.”  A digit closes the minimal distance between you, finding purchase against his side - right where he’s most ticklish.

He shrieks, nearly upending the fries he’s tried to dump onto a ceramic plate.

“Hey!”  Hands swat, then fold, catching your fingers between his in an awkward hand-hold.  “Keep your hands to yourself, Vi.” 

“You don’t complain normally,”  you retort.  You’re not wrong.  Skinship with you is one of his favourite things, fourth only to his dog, dancing, and a certain green-labelled soda.

“Well, today’s a special day.”  

Hoseok really doesn’t know where he’s going with his words - only hoping that he’ll find their destination somewhere along the way.  He doesn’t want to tell you too soon, all too aware of how the mention of your ex will bring this perfect moment crumbling down.  He wants to hold it, perhaps a little too tightly, for as long as he can.  He thinks he’s doing you a service, giving you these few extra minutes.

“Oh yeah?”  You’re twinkling eyes and pealing laughter, so far removed from the bag of bones and sadness of only days prior.  It’s hard to believe there’s something broken inside of there - tucked right behind your breastplate and out of sight.

“Yeah.”  

You wait for him to continue, opting instead to fill the silence with mouth noises.  He’ll tell you when he’s ready.  He always does.  

“Jungkook came by.”  It comes halfway through a bite of a french fry, the carb nearly bringing you to an early death when you choke on it.  All at once, everything spins, as if just the name is enough to upend your entire world.  Hoseok’s clapping your back, rubbing soothing circles over the cotton of your shirt, and you’re struggling to find words or breath - heaving around the sudden heaviness.

“What?”  So small, it’s hardly a word.

“He was here when I got here.”  You’re not oblivious to the careful way he speaks, choosing his words with utmost care.  You don’t miss his grip either, gentle and unyielding at your side - as if he might steady you beneath the sudden tidal wave of emotion.  

You do well, keeping your voice level once you’ve found it again.  “And?  What did he want?”

Hoseok does you the great service of pretending as if he doesn’t hear the hope in your voice.  You’re grateful for that. 

“He came with flowers.”  Not quite a laugh comes - more unimpressed and derisive than amused.  “Two bouquets, actually.”  You can feel him studying you from your periphery, his careful stare trained on your face and the dozen emotions that run rampant through it.  “Your favourite flowers too.”

Your laugh matches his own, though far heavier, as if the sound won’t form without immense effort.  “Wow.”

“Yeah.”  It’s a word you’ve heard a lot tonight.  It feels right.  One syllable to encompass every feeling you can’t properly articulate.  “He asked me to give them to you.”  

It should surprise you but it doesn’t.  Jungkook’s never been one to ask - instead taking what he wants - but it’s still funny.  Of course he’d ask that of Hoseok, as if the act itself weren’t terribly strange, the flowers an unwelcome, begging apology.  Jeon Jungkook only did what he wanted - etiquette be damned.

“I don’t see them anywhere.”  

“I told him I wasn’t comfortable doing it.”  There’s a touch of pride, glimmering gold painted over consonants and vowels.  It’s understated in the way that Hoseok always is - not how he looks, but is;  you’re drawn to it nonetheless, squeezing your fingers around his own in a silent thank you.

“I hope it wasn’t weird.”  It must have been.  It’s still the thought that counts.

Hoseok hams it up, scoffing like it’s just been another day.  “Weird?  Of course not.  I have to deal with my friend’s horrible exes all the time.  I’m practically Scott Pilgrim.”  

“Does that make me Ramona Flowers?”  

“No - but you’re my flower.”  He says it in jest, only to make you smile, because he knows you need it right now.

You try not to think of how you prefer Pumpkin, instead.

tag list.  @jalexad @aa-ronpa @kookiesbreaky @celestialflamefairy @xjoonchildx @pars-ley @seokjinssi @youwannabelostandnotbefound @patpus @dazedjjk @koozui @jinhitwhore @always-wishing-for-rain @neverthefirstchoice @snackhobi 

[skylarmoon71]

AU Leonardo x Blind Reader (TMNT 2014/2016)- Chapter 6

"I could take them all out. Don't even need help."

You stopped being impressed at Raph's lack of self control.

"Alright Raph, slow down we're doing this together. Isn't that why we decided to work as a team."

"Also because there are over a dozen people in there with guns. " All heads turned in your direction. "And how would you know that." Raph challenged.

"I would explain but your undeveloped brain may have a problem comprehending it." Raph snarled, and Leo pressed a hand to his shoulder to calm him down.

"Everyone take a breath, we're on the same side."

"If she keeps making those smartass comments we won't be for long." Raph muttered. Leo sighed in annoyance. "Yeah, and how many drug rings have you taken down? This isn't like your little petty crimes you're used to. These are real criminals. Killers. Really think you can do this on your own muscle head?"

Through your short alliance, you and Raph still seemed at odds.

"Can we please get this done sometime today." Mikey said with a grin. Donnie was pretty much ready to do the same. Raph still had a pissed look on his face, turning his head. He may not have liked it, but he was listening.

"(Y/N), tell us what to do." Leo realized by now that your instincts and information were very helpful. They were ninjas, so they usually handled organizations pretty well. Stealth and strength was always good skills to have. But with your added abilities, they have such a bigger advantage. You were sort of like their secret weapon. As the days passed, Leo was starting to see you as less of a warrior, and more of a person. You were tough, much like them, yet sometimes he barely acknowledged the fact that you were a girl, or even blind. At the end of the day, you were human. Much like everyone else. Even if you tried your hardest not to show it.

"Here's what we're going to do."

~~~~

The end product wasn't so bad. Raph pretty much pummeled half of them on his little anger spree. The job was done, and all you ended up with was a small cut just above your eyebrow. Nothing a few stitches couldn't fix. You'd plan to just clean it up and let it heal on its own, but Leo insisted on helping, so you obliged, just to make him feel good.

"You really are a piece of work." 

Leo chuckled under his breath as he ran the cloth over brow, wiping the blood away. You didn't even flinch, and Leo studied you. You were sitting on his bed as he cleaned your wound. As he continued to work, he couldn't help but notice your features. Everything about you was so raw.

Your personality, skills. You were blunt and somewhat of a tough case to crack. Looking at you, no one would guess half of what you'd been through. His guess was you mastered the art of pretending to be okay years ago. You lived a life unlike any teenage girl your age could imagine, or should even have to live.

You should have been enjoying your life. Going out with friends, binge watching television shows, having fun. All the things he saw on tv. Yet your life was filled with nothing but pain and blood.

"Why did you leave Hell's Kitchen?"

You opened your eyes, brows knitting. You didn't like this. Opening up. It wasn't safe, at least not to you.

"I got bored, besides, someone else got that part of town protected. If you think daredevil is bad, they should meet the Punisher. "

Your first meeting with Fran Castle wasn't the best. But she wasn't wrong. Certain people didn't deserve to live. That wasn't you though, you'd never been able to just take a life. Didn't mean you were gonna stop her from getting rid of the trash. It wasn't your problem anymore.

"Are you going to answer my question?" you frowned.

"Why are you so interested in me anyway, what's it matter why I left!" Leo expected the reaction. It was a delicate subject. He realized that now.

"I'm just trying to learn more about you. We've been partnered up for weeks and I thought this would be a good way to break the ice."

"Yeah right, you can try that good nature bullshit with your brothers but not me, you think you can fix me. What, you want me to pour out my heart to you like some sad little kid, and then you'll say some inspirational shit that'll make it all better! Is that it."

"I wasn't trying to-"

"I lost my dad okay!! Is that what you want to hear!" I'm a broken disabled girl and the only reason I punch holes into douchebags is because I hate myself and I enjoy hurting people!!I HATE MYSELF SO I TAKE IT OUT ON OTHER PEOPLE!!" your shoulders were heaving, and you stood, knocking the bottle of rubbing alcohol off the table he had set up in front of you.

"I'm pathetic and weak and worthless and-" Leo grabbed your arm, halting the rest of words that were about to leave your mouth. You froze, still panting from your outburst.

"You're not worthless or pathetic, or broken." you huffed waiting for the tremor to spot his lie, but there was none. Not a skip, or tremble of his heart. He...truly believed that. He wasn't just lying to reassure you.

"Y-you...you don't even know me.."

"I know enough to see that you don't enjoy doing this. You don't go out there fighting because you take pleasure in it. And you're far from worthless, or pathetic. You're strong (Y/N), far stronger than me. You face every issue head on, and I think the reason you're so angry is because until now, you've always done it alone. But you don't have to (Y/N). When you joined us, we didn't just become a team. We're family (Y/N). Hell you and Raph already argue like siblings." Despite yourself, you laughed softly, rubbing at your eyes.

"You're brave, strong, resilient, and amazing." His words made you speechless. When his hand loosened around your wrist, you couldn't stop yourself. You dove forward, running into his arms. This time, Leo was the one who froze. He knew just about enough to notice how much you avoided intimacy, physical contact. But the way you clutched unto him, he understood. You didn't hate it, you'd just been starved of it. Slowly, his arms wrapped around your smaller form. He ran a hand down your back, and you sighed in content. Leo smiled.

"Thank you..." he barely heard it. It was just above a whisper.

"No problem."

[sweetiejunie]

Confessions

Summary: They both have their own confessions. Beomgyu had secrets. Yeonjun thought he was over you. But was he really?

Genre: fluff, angst

Beomgyu x reader, Yeonjun x reader (decoupling)

—.*•—

A/n: a short oneshot i wrote inspired by my favourite ep of HIMYM

=====================================

You loved yeonjun, you really did. And he loved you. But were you in love? No.

That ship sank a while ago, but you had remained good friends with him and the other boys. You both figured it would be too much of a waste to completely throw away everything you had. And you still enjoyed the others company, who was he to take that away from you. At the start, it was hard. But as time went on, things fell back into place. You had to admit, it was a bittersweet feeling but you were glad you didn’t completely lose him. He was still one of your best friends. Everything went back to how it was before you started dating. Well, almost everything.

When the other boys found out you had broken up, they were devastated, of course. To them you and yeonjun had always been their one true pairing, their OTP, soulmates. The couple they were rooting for to get married. And when you broke up, they were shocked and they were also there to help you through it. Especially beomgyu, he had made it his job to visit you everyday until you were better. Bringing you all kinds of sweets or food that would make you happy. Or bringing you out on fun adventures so you had an excuse to get out of bed when you had spent the whole day crying. All that was just supposed to last for a little while, until you got back on your feet. But even after everything seemed back to normal, beomgyu still found himself at your doorstep whenever he had the chance.

Beomgyu didn’t want to say it, but while he was busy bringing you ice cream and chocolates everyday to cheer you up, he started catching feelings. He loved making you laugh when he saw tears prick your eyes. He loved the way you smiled at his jokes and how they made you feel better. He loved spending time with you, watching whatever movie you wanted and listening to any song you played. At first, he thought he was just being nice, looking out for a friend that was broken. Time went by, and all the more he realised just how much he dreaded the days he couldn’t visit you or the days you didn’t reply to his texts. He realised what he felt was something more than what he felt for a friend. But he couldn’t like you. You were his friend’s ex. He couldn’t break the bro-code.

As the days continued, so did his visits. And everyday, he just felt himself falling deeper and deeper into that hole. But he couldn’t stop himself. Everyday, he saw you smiling when you opened the door for him, a smile that made his heart jump out of his chest. He wanted to grab your hands and hold you close. To call the days you went out together ‘dates’ instead of just friendly hangouts. He wanted to take you on late night drives to the most romantic places he could think of, and have you fall asleep in his arms.

He had fallen fast, and he had fallen hard. He thought he could get over you, to simply forget his feelings existed. But that proved to be much easier said than done. He tried cutting down on the days he saw you, using excuses like he was too busy, or he was too exhausted after practice. It killed him to lie to you. And seeing the sweet responses you gave him to ‘rest well’ and to ‘take care of himself’ wasn’t helping.

Beomgyu couldn’t take it. It’s been months and he felt guilty for hiding his feelings. He knew it was wrong for him fall in love you, but he couldn’t control his emotions. And it was eating him alive. He had to tell someone. And that day after their practice, he decided to tell yeonjun the truth. It was make or break it, but he had to get it out.

He found yeonjun on the couch, using his phone just scrolling through his feed. Beomgyu had gone through what he wanted to say in his head a thousand times, but nothing could prepare him for the real thing. He stood there for a while, looking over the corner at yeonjun, processing how to go about this.

“Stop staring, you look like a stalker,” yeonjun suddenly called out, causing the poor boy to get flustered.

“Hyung,” beomgyu said softly, walking closer to him.

“Beomgyu, something wrong?” Yeonjun asked, sensing something off about his younger’s demeanour.

“I uh, i need to talk to you.”

Yeonjun hummed a response, putting down his phone and turning to look at beomgyu, who stood there, shifting his weight from foot to foot, playing with the edge of his hoodie. He was nervous. Who wouldn’t be? He was about to tell his mate he had fallen head over heels for a girl he used to love.

“So er,” beomgyu started, “i dont know how to tell you this and i know it’s wrong of me to feel like this. But... i think i like y/n.”

There was silence, tension so thick you could cut it with a knife. To beomgyu, it felt like it lastest an eternity. And he thought he was about to get punched as he studied yeonjun’s blank face, just staring at him.

“I- i just wanted to tell you cause i felt guilty. I know she’s your ex and all so if u dont feel comfortable with the idea of me being with her, I won’t do it! Ill get ride of my feelings, i promise! I just thought I should let you know-“

“Go for it,” yeonjun smiled, standing up to give beomgyu a pat on the back. “We broke up months ago. We’re just friends now, if you like her, I shouldn’t be the one stopping you. But you better treat her well.”

His words shocked beomgyu, but he was glad to have his blessing. It meant he was over you and beomgyu could feel at ease. He rushed over to your place and confessed everything.

And later that night, yeonjun got an extremely important text.

From beomgyu: Y/n and i are dating!!

.

.

.

In that moment, despite what he had said prior, he felt jealous, annoyed, frustrated. Whatever you want to call it. He tried to convince himself that he was happy for you. No, that he was over you, or so he thought. Seeing you with someone else just made him realised how much he was still actually in love with you.

He would never admit it but a part of him was hopping you would have said no, and send beomgyu home. He was supposed to be your friend, he was supposed to be happy his best friend was happy. He hadn’t noticed it, but when beomgyu returned home that night, yeonjun completely switched off, disregarding any attempts beomgyu made to start a conversation and locking himself in his room.

Yeonjun thought he was okay with you and beomgyu being together but as the days turned to weeks, yeonjun was starting to ignore beomgyu more, barely acknowledging him when he spoke. Yeonjun hated seeing you with him. He wanted you to be happy and he wanted beomgyu to be happy, but not be the reason for each others happiness.

The worse days were when you would surprise beomgyu at the dorm. You would greet them as per usual and run to hug beomgyu. That used to be him. The gifts you used to get for yeonjun, now you got for beomgyu. Your laugh that echoed from beomgyus room used to his favourite sound, but now was the bane of his existence.

The other boys noticed this, but didn’t dare say anything. Until one day, they drew the line. You had came over to the dorm and beomgyu decided to bring you out for a small ice cream date. The rest of them were on the couch in the living room, watching a movie before they saw the two of you giggling as you made your way out. The moment the door closed behind you, yeonjun scoffed.

“What’s up with you? You got a problem with ice cream now?” Kai chuckled.

“Nothing’s up. I just think y/n deserves more than a lame ice cream date. Sure, ice cream is nice and all. But let’s be real, ice cream sucks. Ice cream lies, they keep secrets, and when it comes down to it, they just end up hurting you,” yeonjun responded, his emotions taking over him when he continued. “I- i just can’t believe y/n is going through with the idea of going out wit- for, ice cream.”

The three boys listened attentively, shaking their heads. If it wasn’t obvious enough, yeonjun wasn’t talking about ice cream. They knew they had to put an end to this. It was getting out of hand.

“Okay hyung we have to talk. Room, now,” soobin announced.

“Nice try but no, it’s just going to be 5 minutes of you two sorting out his love life, followed by an hour of you playing mario kart. No way. Hyung, you, me, roof, right now,” standing up, taehyun pushed yeonjun towards the fire escape that had a staircase to the roof.

“But it’s January-“ yeonjun defended.

Ignoring him, taehyun continued pushing him out, “move.”

“Alright, we’re both freezing so cut the crap and just say it,” taehyun said the moment they were on the roof.

“Say what?”

“That you’re unhappy y/n and beomgyu are together!”

Yeonjun was in disbelief at his assumption, “what? No. I’m happy. I encouraged him to go after her.”

“Because you thought you were okay with letting her go! But now that she’s gone, it hurts.”

By that point, yeonjun had been hurt many times in his life. Past relationships, failed auditions, and the list goes on. But when he first saw that text message that you two were together, it hurt just like all the previous times, just times a million.

“No. I’m happy for them,” he argued again.

“Is all you’ll let yourself say out loud. Cause if you said how you actually felt, that would make you the worse person on this roof,” taehyun stated, arms wrapping around himself when a cool breeze past them. “So I’m going to give you an out.”

“And how exactly are you going to do that?” Yeonjun mocked back.

“By saying something worse.”

“Like what?”

Taehyun hesitated, “sometimes, i wish I wasn’t here. Sometimes i wish i could just pack up a bag and leave in the middle of the night and not come back.”

Yeonjun listened as he spoke. The words echoing in his ears as he processed what taehyun meant by them. And as the moment of silence passed, yeonjun confessed.

“Y/n shouldn’t be with beomgyu. She should be with me.”

.

.

.

=====================================

Just something random, something short, something sad. Hope you liked it!

Masterlist

[x0401x]

People keep talking about a hotel scene that was skipped from episode 12, can you tell me what was this scene?

OH, BOY. HERE WE GO.

That scene is one of the best ones between Richard and Seigi and one of my favorite highlights of their relationship because there’s a huge display of trust and love between them in it. But there’s actually a lot to unpack, so for context, I’m going to explain some extra stuff too. As far as I know, though, there’s someone on Twitter who has made a summary of each volume, so they might be more useful for this. I’m not the best person to judge since I haven’t read those summaries, but I saw that the threads were lengthy, so I guess they must be detailed. The link to their Twitter is in my Richard tag!

Warning: this is gonna be long.

All right, starting from the moment Seigi tells Richard he wants to quit. Part of it is because he wants to shield Richard from whatever Hisashi might do if he finds out Seigi works for a filthy-rich foreigner who definitely pays well and treats him to expensive dinners every week. But most of it is because Hisashi brings out a lot of ugliness in Seigi (take almost stabbing Hisashi as an example), and he doesn’t want Richard to see it and be disappointed.

Just like in the anime, Richard accepts it rather easily and invites Seigi for one last dinner together. Seigi complies, because he’s not just planning to quit Etranger; he’s also planning to cut his ties with Richard so that Hisashi won’t go after him, so this is the last time they’ll hang out with each other. He promises himself he’ll make it the best night they’ve ever had, since it’s going to be the last, and honestly, the fact that he doesn’t think there’s anything ambiguous in this thought process says so much about how he is in canon. Meanwhile, just imagining never seeing Richard again is enough to make Seigi almost cry several times.

They go to a high-class hotel for dinner this time. Afterward, they go to the hotel’s bar, and at some point, Richard simply drops this bomb on Seigi’s lap and pulls a cardkey from his pocket while they’re drinking and eating:

“This is so good it feels like a waste…”“I think so too.”“Hm?”“I don’t want to...”“Did you say anything?”“I don’t want to let you go home.”

Seigi actually fucking looks around and asks Richard if that was meant for him.

“Is there anyone else around?”“No.”“Then I would assume it was for you.”“I see.”“Right.”

Harold, they’re in love and also fucking dumbasses. This scene is mad levels of latine telenovela bullshit, except it’s also dumb and awkward 2000′s love comedy bullshit at the same time. I love it. Anyway, since Seigi had already committed to make the best out of this night, he didn’t consider saying no to Richard as an option, so he just asks “what floor”. Boy. Son. Child. When they get to said floor, Richard gives Seigi the key and has him open the door.

Now in comes the scene that everyone was probably talking about. Yes, it does get worse than this. And yes, this scene is pretty long.

Not to transform all this built-up tension into a huge deception, but when they get into the room, Jeff is there waiting for them. It wouldn’t be Jeff with a really goofy introduction, but Seigi is so surprised he almost runs the fuck away, except Richard stops him, brings him back into the room and makes him sit down. Jeff then reminds Seigi that he’d been investigating (okay, he says “legally stalking”) Seigi for a long time and sort of reveals that he obviously knew about the problem dad. He was also the one who told Richard about the whole thing, and I gotta add that it was quite a punch in the gut for him. That’s where Seigi gets indignant at the invasion, and also where Richard tells him “you did not tell me anything either before coming to London”. Get rekt.

Then Richard starts trying to convince Seigi to open up by monologuing about how Seigi is like a distorted mirror to him, as in that they’re opposites but also the same. He grew up hating mirrors because they would make him realize how keenly he resembled his mother, but that wasn’t the case with Seigi. Both of them had lived very different lives, but they basically held the same values to heart. Just like how Seigi went after Richard to help with his family issues, Richard is doing it for Seigi, and now they’re again in a hotel room with one of them talking about how much he likes the other. That’s when Richard dumps the “I like you so, so much that I cannot help myself” line, which the anime thankfully kept. And then he literally goes into “how dare you do not lean on me for help when I’m more than capable of giving it” mode and throws in a “what am I to you”, ‘cause we readers deserve to die. Meanwhile, Jeff leaves the room for a bit.

Seigi still doesn’t want to talk things out because he might’ve been more influenced by his father than Richard could ever know, and he doesn’t want to “taint” Richard with his matters because he deems them as dirty, but in the end, he gives in. Turns out he looked up stuff on abuse because of his family circumstances, and one book mentioned what we all know: boys who witness abuse have more chances of incorporating it and becoming abusers when they grow up. He gives the way he tried to break Richard’s family inheritance as an example of possible tendency to be violent. He also says that his mother probably got him into karate because he had the habit of kicking walls, which got so bad that he opened a hole into one when he was a kid. Basically, he had an understandable amount of pent-up frustration and practiced karate to let it out. It was also to make him realize how much hitting and being hit hurts.

He goes on to say that all he wants is to be seen as a good person in the eyes of who he likes and then off himself into oblivion, because he fears that the other party will realize what kind of person he really is if he stays too close to them for too long. He adds that he’s scared of finding someone that corresponds to his affections, as he’s pretty sure that he’d abuse them. I can’t stress enough how contradictory this feels when we consider his feelings for Shouko, because he tried really hard to be her romantic partner. It’s one of the things that have me pondering if those feelings really weren’t just a glorified friendship, like I’ve mentioned before, and if the one he truly likes isn’t actually Richard. I mean, he keeps telling himself over and over in every single volume that what he feels for Richard “isn’t like that”, as if he’s trying to find excuses not to be romantically involved with Richard despite showing more affection for him than for any other character. Sum that up with the fact he doesn’t want Richard to see the bad in him and it all kinda makes sense.

Richard at some point says that Seigi is doing nothing but hold prejudice against himself and therefore he’s also prejudiced against all other children who are or have been in the same situation as him. He argues that someone who can’t be kind to himself also can’t be truly kind to other people. He then adds that he finally gets why Seigi sees him as immutably beautiful. He doesn’t become used to Richard’s beauty, no matter how long he’s been looking at it, because he always sees Richard from a distance. He doesn’t deem Richard as reachable and refuses to get closer to him, in spite of claiming that he wanted to be closer. He won’t diminish the gap between them and he won’t let Richard reciprocate his affections (again, this brings me back to his feelings for Shouko and how Seigi would probably let her do that).

Richard also tells Seigi about how he hit Jeff back when Jeff betrayed him, and Seigi thinks that’s only the expected. So he begins to wonder if he wasn’t just thinking that this “expected” didn’t apply to himself. He finally begins to conclude that maybe he was just looking down on himself and by default also looking down on people who went through the same as him. Richard then says Seigi should ask for help when things come to this, not only from him but also from other people. All of this seems pretty harsh but Richard was being very gentle while saying it, and he kneeled down next to the chair in the process. It makes Seigi think that they look just like an adult comforting a child, and he starts crying for the billionth time in this volume.

Seigi’s phone then starts ringing, and Richard tells him to answer. It’s Hisashi, saying he’s near Seigi’s apartment. He asks Seigi to come over, by himself. The scene ends with him accepting to go, but as we know, he doesn’t go alone, just like in the anime. Except, in the novel, Jeff jokes before they leave that Richard might look slender and all, but he actually had muscles under his clothes, meaning he was up for a fight if the worst happened. This totally doesn’t sound like Jeff was trying to make Seigi imagine Things. Not at all.

By the way, a bonus: while Richard and Seigi are in the car going to Seigi’s apartment complex, Richard asks how Seigi could’ve been so innocent to agree to that invitation for going to a hotel room with him. He had actually expected Seigi to say no and had thought of a lie to convince him. Seigi says he’d have tried to flee if it were anyone else, but he trusted Richard.

Sorry for taking so long to answer this, but here you have it! As you can see, it’s an awesome scene.

[lavendertwilight89]

Shelter- 4: What’s your favorite line of dialogue?

....I don’t know if I can answer this HAHAHAHAHAA! This story is just... it’s so big. Honestly?? I think at the very beginning when they first met when Kag is trying to soothe Inu but Inu is being an idiot (but to be fair, a smarter idiot).

I felt like even with them just meeting it was just so them. So in character. So AH! I know it’s long but you made me choose

Also I won’t add a spoiler bar because this is literally the very beginning of the story

Inuyasha awoke feeling groggy. Something was wrong… he didn’t even remember falling asleep. The last thing he remembered it was the new moon--his night of vulnerability. His eyes felt extremely heavy; he must’ve fucked up. Miscalculated. There must’ve been a danger he hadn’t smelled or sensed before he lost his demonic abilities.

Fuck. His body hurt. The question had morphed from what happened to where was he? How was he alive? And why? He listened quietly and heard the pitter patter of rain--likely bouncing off of a roof. He smelled like he was in an enclosed hut. It was old--stagnant. Obviously, it hadn’t been used in awhile. But he wasn’t alone. There was a strong smell of lavender, honey, and jasmine flowers… it was alluring. Intoxicating. But it also scared the shit outta him. He also smelled a lot of blood. Not just his. Probably not just who he shared this little hut with either.

He sat up quickly and groaned from his stupidity. “Fuck…”

“Oh, you’re awake. You need to lie still,” he heard a soft melodic whisper from across the room. He turned to see a young woman in priestess garbs leaning against the wall of the hut he was currently in. He sensed her power and shit--he was about to fucking die. Or fry. Something. He gasped and clutched his gut as he tried to turn and run but his legs failed him.

Her sigh and shuffling made him panic until he heard her whimper. He looked over to her to see she also was grasping her own torso as she scooted towards him. She was pale. Sweating. She… didn’t look good.

“Stop,” he tried to sound threatening. It must’ve worked or she was where she had tried to get to. Water dripping from a bucket made him turn his head and see she was much closer. She grimaced and winced again as she shifted onto her knees and pressed a calming hand on his chest. She wiped the sweat from his brow and smiled softly--weakly.

“It’s okay… I’m not going to hurt you.”

“Get off me,” he said, grabbing her hands and pushing her away slightly. He hadn’t expected her to fall to the floor of the hut and cry out. Shit. He was an asshole. He noticed an overwhelming scent of blood--hers. Shifting he took her in and saw how dirty she was now that she was close enough. She was covered in demon blood--along with his and her own.

She rolled over onto her back and glared at him, “You--asshole! That’s not a way to thank someone for helping you!”

“Never asked for your help,” he shot back. “I told you to stop.”

“I thought you were just scared and confused! Not that you’d throw me!”

“I didn’t throw you, I shoved and you’re just weak.”

“Whatever,” she scoffed and rolled over to her side. She was whimpering as she pushed herself to get up and then made her way back to the wall.

He took the opportunity to see she had bandaged him--”Where are my clothes??”

“Your kosode is ruined but your haori is over there,” she gestured behind him. He wasn’t surprised. Only his kimono made from the fur of the fire rat could withstand damage. Standing uneasily, she remained quiet this time as he began to dress.

“Alright, I’m out of here.”

“I wouldn’t if I were you,” she said leadingly. He glanced back and saw a smug little sparkle in her bright sapphire eyes. He looked to the door and saw her barrier erected around the hut and grew angrier.

“Why the hell not? I’m not staying here with you, you weak ass priestess! You couldn’t even slay me!”

“Why would I want to hurt you?”

“Are you fucking blind??! I’m a demon!!”

“Half.”

“Shut up! Anyway--so you’re a dark priestess then?? Ya wanna make a deal? I don’t really do that kind of shit so you might as well lower your barrier. I’m leaving whether I have to kill you or get zapped.”

“There’s a rather large horde of demons past my barrier. It’s there to protect us… until we heal.”

“Don’t lie.”

“Smell for yourself,” she flicked her wrist and a tiny hole opened and he got a good whiff. Fuck. He’d die the minute he stepped out. There’d be no way he would make it past them.

“Damnit!” he yelled as he punched a hole through the hut. “Why didn’t you kill them, huh?? God, you’re fucking useless!”

“For your information, I was a little busy saving you,” she said in a huff. “For someone who had their life saved on such a time of weakness, you sure are ungrateful.”

“I should just fucking kill you now, bitch. But I need your fucking barrier.”

“Oh goody,” she sighed leaning her head back against the wall and closing her eyes. “Don’t worry. I’ll be out of your hair soon enough.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” he snarled. She was planning to kill him after all! Fuck!

“I may be a priestess but I’m still human. I’ve lost a lot of blood, been using my reiki for three days straight, haven’t eaten anything, oh, and, probably have slept for maybe six hours total,” she said with a heavy groan at the end clutching her abdomen. Okay, he felt like a dick. But he was only protecting himself.

“Why haven’t you been taking care of yourself? You’re of age to be independent. How the hell have you lived so long if you’re this dumb?”

“Gods! I’ve been taking care of you, stupid!!!” She yelled at him with tears in her eyes. “Gods just shut up! I’m sorry I saved you! Obviously I messed up--you clearly were trying to commit suicide. Don’t worry, in a couple hours, I’ll probably be dead anyway, my barrier will fail and they’ll eat us both!”

“Shut up! That’s not what I meant!” Inuyasha kneeled down at her feet, still not willing to get too close to her but she wasn’t going to be able to reach out in her state at that moment.

“Oh??? Want me to use myself as bait so you can escape??? Lessen the guilt so you won’t have to watch me die?? Prefer to think I just waltzed right out of here rather than succumbing to my injuries!!?”

“No! Fuck! Stop fucking talking!!”

“No really!! Tell me what it is you want! What do you need?? I live to fucking serve!!”

He finally lost his temper and slapped his hand over her mouth and glared into her wide eyes, “Shut. Up. Look, I overreacted. I didn’t remember what happened--still don't--I thought you were trying to kill me like every-fucking-one else--and I admit, I’m a jackass.”

She just continued to glare at him and then she did the craziest thing he had EVER had happen to him. She. LICKED. Him. What. In. The. Fuck!??!?!

“Ugh!!!” he yelled and pulled his hand away like it was on fire. “You--you--youuuuu---WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?!!? YOU LICKED ME!!!”

“Jeez, you’re acting like I just shot you with an arrow,” she mocked rolling her eyes.

“You’re--you’re so fucking weird!! Are you even a priestess?!!?”

“Uhm, duh?”

“Don’t you know demons are inherently evil?? That as a priestess, we are naturally enemies?!" He felt like he was going to explode from rage that was driven by confusion. This woman hadn't tried to attack him yet. No matter how much he cursed her, poked and prodded her, insulted her-- she just took it. Rolling her eyes. Like she knew him.

"Yes-- I'm aware we are 'supposed' to be enemies. I just don't believe in that notion. Not all demons are bad. You exist because a human and demon obviously loved each other to make you. I have demon friends that I care for, well, cared for." She sighed and took a ragged breath. "Look, I don't want to spend what could be my last hours arguing. I accept your lame apology. I forgive you."

"You--you what???"

"You’ve obviously had a rough life to be so callous. I'm just sorry we couldn't have become friends," she added as her shoulders relaxed somewhat.

"Oh fuck no! You're not gonna fucking die on me!"

"Haha, are you a demon of the underworld that can prevent that? I'm also not dying yet. Just resting." Her demeanor didn't convince him.

"No, but I can heal you."

That made her eyes open again. "Hm? How?"

"I don't like owing favors and I unfortunately think I owe you a lot… my uhm… " Well shit. How was he gonna tell her? He doubted she'd accept help. She seemed to have about as much pride as he did. She wouldn't sully herself to be healed...

"How about while I rest, you think of a way to tell me of your little 'secret'," she said as gruffly as a kitten. She was pretty weak, he probably shouldn't let her sleep. If she did, he wasn't sure she'd wake back up.

"No."

When she didn't respond he slightly panicked and reached out and touched her to rouse her. Even though he shouldn't care, she rescued him and likely gave her own life for his.

"Hey! You cannot sleep!! Bitch, wake up!!"

"Ugh, I liked you better sleeping. I at least could imagine you being nicer."

He let out a breath he hadn’t known he had been holding and clipped, "Regret saving a half breed already?"

"No."

He blinked. Twice. Three times. She opened her glazed over ocean eyes and locked with his, "Why do you assume I'd regret giving my life for yours?"

"I can run off twenty reasons right now."

"Mmmm… I'd prefer not to hear any until after you let me nap. Next time you stir me I may make you regret giving me the idea of zapping you," she smirked weakly before letting her eyes shut again.

"You better just be sleeping," he grumbled.

"Don't worry. I'll see your handsome smirk again," she slurred, finally succumbing to sleep.

Sputtering and blushing from her words he got up quickly and exited the hut. Fuck. She was crazy. All he could do was equate her insanity to her exhaustion, blood loss, and hunger. Yep. That made the most sense. Finally calming his racing heart, he noticed the barrier wasn't just around the hut; it seemed to stretch out into the forest. Maybe he could find something to eat… rebuild their strength. Would animals be able to enter the barrier? How was the barrier able to even be maintained this long? How was this woman so powerful?

I just feel like it really ahhhhhhhh!!!! LOL Thanks for the ask @superpixie42!!!!!!!!!

Wanna read the rest of Shelter? Click here!

[random-mha-thoughts]

Worth (Todoroki x Reader)

Pairing: Todoroki x Reader

Genre: Angst/comfort

Request on my Wattpad: “I was wondering if you can do a Todoroki x wolf reader where the reader is depressed and bullied because of her quirk and her family knows about her wolf quirk and disowns like they think she a disgrace abuse her and doesn't want her and she feels so worthless she gets to a point where she feels not good enough and that she completely loses control of herself and turns into wolf or monster version wolf and Todorki he tries to help her I hope this makes sense and I hope it's ok”

Word count: 2,038

Tags:  @yuki-osaki​ @liviitehe​ @iamsoftsodonttoucheume-blog​ 

a/n: I’m not terribly happy with this, but it was a different kind of request, and I’m glad I did it.  If it’s cringey, I’m sorry, but I hope it meant something to someone.

Also even though the request indicated female pronouns, I didn’t really use any, so consider this gender neutral.  If anyone was wondering, I wanted the character to be kinda like Atsushi from Bungo Stray Dogs with the hair color and the personality, but also with wolf ears, so do with that info what you will.

I run through the dimly lit streets, tears streaking through my eyes as my heart pounds and chest heaves.  I don't know where I'm going, but I know I have to get out of this hell I call life.  Everything I thought I knew was a lie, I was the only person who didn't know it.

Tripping over my own feet, I finally tumble down a hill and land at the base of a tree, finally stopping my rabid movement, but it doesn't help my mind running five hundred miles a minute.  I turn in on myself, trembling as the darkness surrounds me, clawing at me the same way I grip my legs to my chest.

The image of my parents smiling together with my younger sister is the only thing I see behind my eyelids.  The last time I saw my family, there was nothing but turmoil and contempt.  All the times my sister pulled at my ears, locked me in a closet, and cut me up; all the times my parents punished me by having me sleep outside "like the dog I am" for the slightest misdemeanors.  They used to always argue, there was always screaming in my house.

My former house.

When I got into UA and we were forced to live in the dorms, my parents couldn't look happier.  In front of Aizawa and All Might, they contained the sheer joy they felt like the actors they are, and when my teachers left, they hurried to throw all of my things out the door.

"Finally, we can get rid of her!" they cheered.  I can only watch in horror as they pack all my stuff away before pulling me by the ear and setting me out next to my belongings.

"Don't ever come back!  From now on, you're on your own!"  That was the day I became an orphan.

My parents always had this vendetta against me because of my quirk.  They don't know where it came from, no one in our family even had one like me.  My dad used to always accuse my mom of having an affair with another man after she had me.  I don't know why he ever stayed, if he really believed that was true, but they both looked at me with contempt because of the quirk I shouldn't have.  And then I did the worst thing I could've done: I lost control one day.  When I was playing with my sister, I don't even remember why I got angry, but I bit her and scratched her.  The only person who loved me in that house suddenly became scared, and grew to hate me just as much.

School wasn't any better.  Everyone teased me for being the tamest wolf they've ever seen.

"I thought you were supposed to be scary, you're actually a huge wimp!"

"What kind of hero can you be when you can't even stop mumbling to yourself?"

The only reason I was so quiet is because I couldn't even raise my voice to assert myself in my house without being punished.  My parents were so scared of me losing control again that they put me down for getting the slightest bit aggravated, so I learned to just lay low and stay quiet.  And I couldn't stand up to my bullies for fear of being punished at home.

I'm so ashamed of my quirk.

Going to UA was a dream of mine.  It was my ticket to being able to use my quirk freely, so I can learn to control it to become a great hero.  But I quickly realized how weak I and useless I was in comparison to the other students.  Not being able to use my quirk at home took a toll on me, it was a miracle I even passed the entrance exam.

Today was particularly bad.  I didn't do well in quirk training today; I've been trying to partially manifest my quirk in some parts of my body to temporarily amplify my strength, but it's just not working.  Going for a walk in town to clear my head, I spotted my family out together, happy and smiling without me around.  And that was the straw that broke the camel's back.

I tremble to myself under the tree, pushing against the rough bark biting into my forehead.  They're so much better without me.  I was holding them back this entire time, I should've left years ago.

I'm a failure as a wolf.

What kind of wolf am I when I can't even use my quirk?

I'll never become a hero.

This is all because of my stupid quirk!

"Fuck everything!"  I don't even realize when I'd stood up and started punching the thick trunk.  Blood drips from my knuckles, my vision blurry from tears.  "You'll never be a hero!  You're a failure!  All you did was tear your family apart because of the stupid quirk you can't even use properly!  Idiot!  Stupid!  Weakling!  Dumbass!  Homewrecker!"

Fury rushes through me, the grayscale colors in front of me fuzzing together.  My arms grow in size suddenly, my punches boring a large hole the size of my head into the bark and my nails have grown.  Looking down, I'm farther off the ground, my clothes ripped to shreds on the grass, and teeth have grown into fangs.  The shadowed silhouette of a wolf figure on two legs presses against the ground behind me, cast by the light of the moon.  I scream, which sounds more like a gravelly growl into a howl.  My blood boils with all the anger built up over the past ten years, fueling this wolf form I've only taken twice in my entire life.

I catch a familiar scent in the distance, blood warming my body at the thought of fresh blood.

"(Y/n)!"  A voice screams from the top of the hill I rolled down as it runs towards me.  Once the owner closes in and notices what's going on, he stops short, gawking up at my form.

I snarl, crouching down as if getting ready to strike.  My rage blinds me, only guiding myself by the smell of my prey as the shadows blur.

"(Y/n)," he repeats, more carefully this time, "Calm down, it's me.  I won't harm you."

My fangs bare at the boy.  I'm ready to take my anger out on anyone, friend or foe.  I stalk towards him.  No one's my friend, I'm all alone.

He takes a step back.  "It's me, Todoroki!  Get ahold of yourself!"

Shoto?

I grit my fangs at myself, clawing at the ground to keep myself from attacking him despite the rage instinct telling me to attack.  It hurts to fight, but I need to protect him.  He can't turn out like her.

"I believe in you, (Y/n)!  I know you can fight it!"

Another piercing howl screeches out of my mouth, overwhelming my head with painfully conflicting emotions.

"Try to breathe."  Shoto's voice calms down.  "Relax and breathe."

I loosen my tightened jaw and fists, smoke starting to come out of my nose in grunts.  I imagine it being my anger escaping out of me.  Feeling myself deflate, despair sets back in.  I almost hurt him.  I crouch down as my body shrinks back to normal, hugging my knees to my chest.  I'm physically and mentally burnt out, too numb to feel my emotions but I know they're still there.

Shoto approaches me, slipping his oversized denim jacket over my naked form.  "Are you alright?  Are you hurt anywhere?"

"I should be asking you that," I sigh, too tired to get up.  The wind brushes my skin and I clutch the jacket closed, slipping my arms through the sleeves.  "I almost attacked you, I'm sorry."

He shakes his head, kneeling down in front of me.  "It's fine.  Why are you out here alone anyway?"

"I...saw something.  And I just took off running and I got here."  I rub my temples with my hand to ease an oncoming headache.  "Things just got overwhelming, but I'm okay now."

Shoto's mouth sets into a line.  "You're not okay.  You haven't turned into a wolf since you were eight, not even in training.  You must have been extremely distressed."

I shrink into myself.  "I don't want to talk about it..."

His bi-colored eyes rest on me, but he doesn't push the matter further.  "You look exhausted, let me carry you."  He squats down in front of me.  "Get on my back."

I'm happy he's much bigger than me, his jacket manages to cover everything down mid-thigh even while I'm on his back.  My arms hang loosely from his shoulders as he hikes up the hill and back to the main road.  It seems I ended up in a park near the town.  The streetlamps light the sidewalk, people staring at us as we walk by, but I'm too tired to care.

"Do you think it would calm you down to visit your parents?" Todoroki asks modestly.  "Or maybe you can go get some clothes-"

"My parents won't want to see me, let's just go back to school," I interject feebly.  A fresh set of tears threaten to fill my eyes.

He doesn't question it, continuing to walk as his gentle rocking pace persists.

"I'm surprised you aren't running away from me," I mumble as we reach the road going up the mountain to UA.  "I almost killed you."

"I know you wouldn't, I have faith in you."

I close my eyes, leaning against the side of his head.  "I'm so ashamed you had to see me like that.  I probably looked like a monster."

"Aside from the danger you posed in the moment, I think you looked...majestic."

My eyes fly open and I tense, waiting for him to elaborate.  How could he possibly think that about me?

"Your fur matches the gray of your hair, gleaming in the moonlight.  It looked soft enough to touch, all the way down to your tail.  But your ice blue eyes were my favorite.  Once you calmed down, they were practically glowing.  I'd like to see you like that more often, once you've trained enough of course."

My heart quickens at his compliments, heat rushing to my cheeks.  "Thank you, Sh-Shoto.  Though, I don't know when exactly I'll even get to that point."

He's silent for a moment, his steady rhythm continuing up the path.  "I've known you for a while, (Y/n), since we were younger.  I know I've never been much help with you and people teasing you for being weak, but I want you to know that you're not weak.  Obviously, you have a lot of emotional baggage with your family, and it's trickled into your own inner demons.  You should know that you're strong for dealing with it on your own all this time, but you should find family elsewhere.  I know you're stuck, but make your own family of people you care about, and - when you're ready - confide in them about your problems, they'll be there to help you.  I'm here to help you."

Tears silently roll down my cheek, but I don't want to wipe them and call attention to it, so I rest my chin on his shoulder.  "Do you think...my quirk is good, Shoto?"

"Of course I do," he answers without missing a beat.  "It's your's to use as you wish.  I know you'll use it to become a great hero someday."  His footsteps stop and he gently puts me down to face me.  "You're a good person, (Y/n).  Your quirk is an extension of yourself, and I know you'll use it for the benefit of others, even if you've probably made mistakes in the past."  His thumbs gently rub the wetness from my face.  "And nobody should tell you otherwise."

I lean into his touch, my eyes flying open when he presses his lips to my forehead.  His mismatched eyes bore into mine, glistening under the dim lights of the streetlamps and the moon.  My heart pounds at the amount of pure affection he's showering me with, it makes me want to cry even more.

"I'll be there to support you every step of the way."