#i would kill for a funnel cake or a corn dog

[i-am-a-secret-ssshhh]

Do you ever crave foods randomly and you can't figure out why?

Because I would kill for a funnel cake or a corn dog right now.

[devil-doll13]

oh! and obviously, all your OCs (or at least Adam and Max?) opinions on amusement/theme parks, roller coasters, cotton candy, and churros.

Max loves amusement parks. Going to one was a treat as a kid since they didn’t have a lot of money. His older brothers would make him go on the rollercoasters and haunted house that used to really freak him out, but they mostly did it so he would learn to enjoy them (which he eventually did). They also would fight eachother on the bumper cars while their mom watched and took pictures. There was a an abandoned theme park in Detroit around his house that he was pretty sure was haunted or something, but he used to loiter around there as well. Doesn’t really visit in the present day but I think he’d still like it. Prefers hot dogs and funnel cakes.

Adam maybe has been to a proper theme park once in his life? It was when he was very young, so the memories are blurry. He went on the teacups, the little train thing, some other kiddie rides, then scared the shit out of himself on the hall of mirrors bc he couldn’t find Charlie (it didn’t help that they basically looked the exact same back then) and then a clown made him break down in tears… I think he’d be willing to go now, though he’d prefer more low-key rides like the ferris wheel or carousel.

I’m gonna do Abby, Zach, Jude and Ciarán under the cut so it isn’t too long:

Abigail isn’t fond of crowds or noise, and probably just got dragged away from her books as a kid because it was a ‘family’ trip. Typical Abby, she wandered away from the group when she could so she could go explore. She especially enjoyed the haunted houses and the hall of mirrors. No one knows how that one ride went out of commission, but it almost killed her relative… She probably would be a cotton candy lover, and also favours ice cream. I can somehow see an alternate version of her joining a circus as a creepy magician or fortune teller.

When Zach was younger the most leisure activities he took part in were things his dad took him out to do, like hunting and fishing. Later he probably loitered around theme parks and such like Max did, messing about with his posse of buddies he can barely remember the names of now, smoking behind the machinery. Not really into big rides, more stuff like those games where you shoot targets or try to get rings around poles and stuff, good for impressing people with. Liked sandwich wraps and donuts best. Basically got turned off amusement parks altogether when he heard about Subject No. 602 though.

Jude has gone to a few. There was a sort of seasonal fair that happened every year in her hometown that had stuff like corn mazes, some dinky rides, that sort of thing, but never anything huge. Sometimes she went with her parents out to a big amusement park though. Being a horse girl, she loved the carousel and mostly stayed around lower and middle-range rides that weren’t too crazy. She isn’t much of an adrenaline junkie so the only time she went on a rollercoaster is when her then friend, Rachel, bullied her into it. She liked pretzels and tarts and stuff like that. Too busy nowadays to think of going to one.

Ciarán, um… I really can’t imagine him getting through the front door without causing a commotion (unless he can… somehow convince people he’s just wearing a very convincing Halloween costume?) so it’s probably not possible for him to participate. He’ll likely watch from a distance if it’s somewhat in the countryside. He really enjoys the circus because although he can’t really see into it very well, he still catches a glimpse of all the performers. He’s very old, so travelling performers are familiar to him. Some have even made contact with him before…

[servin-up-surveys]

survey #104

(taken january 22nd; uploading surveys taken while gone)

Have you ever been for a ride in the back of a truck? Yeah, when I was way younger.

Did your grandparents teach you anything? To not be an old-fashioned, holier-than-thou piece of fucking garbage that refuses to change with the times and kiss the feet of an invisible mass murderer in the sky.

What are the longest and shortest romantic relationships you’ve been in? Longest, over 3 1/2 years. I was with Juan less than 24 hours.

Have you ever been obsessive over calories, exercise etc.? I've had multiple phases of this.

What are you listening to? So Rammstein's vocalist has an independent band as well and I sometimes explore his solo work and I'm currently obsessed with "Ich weiß es nicht" and I've just fully accepted chaotic 50-60 y/o men dominate my interests lmfao

How is the weather outside? It's raining. I wish it would just snow already, I really wanna get pretty winter weather pictures this year.

List eight things you like about your best friend. He is extremely patient, absolutely hilarious, a strong listener, the most loyal person I've ever met, very obviously genuinely cares about me, he's a very hard worker that's super dedicated to whatever he sets his mind to, he's very good with animals (especially dogs), and he's super intelligent.

List two favourite colours. Pastel pink and coral.

What was the last book you read? I started Wings of Fire: Talons of Power the other day.

How many best friends do you have? I only feel like I'm being entirely accurate in the sense of what I consider an absolute best friend to be when I answer with Girt, but I know some people will be like "oh he doesn't count" because he's my partner, but whatever. If not him, then it's Mom, buuuut again, I know some won't consider that a valid answer. My closest friends that are just friends and not blood or anything are both Tez and Mazzy, though.

Are you holding back doing or saying anything? Yeah, I guess. Nothing very important, though.

Have you ever been used? Oh I'm sure I have been, in one way or another.

Are you pregnant? Zero chance of that.

Do you want to be? BIG no on that one.

Can you describe your entire family in three words? Complicated, strained, distant.

What’s the first thing you see when you look out your window? Our road and houses across the street.

What’s your favorite fair food? I actually don't know; I've been to so very few and tried barely any food. I do know that I actually don't like funnel cake, though.

What’s something you always wear, even in the shower? Piercings.

How did you feel after your first kiss? There was a whole lotta butterflies and shyness but also tons of happiness and peace and the feeling that I was in the midst of something wonderful. Girl if you only knew lmfao

What’s your state's or country’s minimum wage? $7.25/h 🙃 proven to be properly unlivable here

What was the best thing you ever did for your parents, legal guardians or parental figures? hell if I know honestly

Have you ever worn a suit? No but women in suits is FUCKING HOT

Would you rather make 2D or 3D art? 2D. Sculptures and stuff aren't my thing, at least when it comes to ME making them. I love looking at that kinda stuff, though.

Do you eat candy corn? No, I hate that shit.

Were either of your parents baptized? I can absolutely, positively guarantee my mom was, but idk about Dad.

The last concert that you were at, was there a mosh pit? Nah.

Do you think pepperoni would be good on a meatball sub? I don't even like meatball subs to begin with because the bread gets so damp and gross.

Has anyone killed one of your pets before? Well, yes. Growing up we had cats get hit by cars a lot. I've told the story of our then-neighbors' rottweilers getting loose and going on a cat massacre once too, but I honestly don't blame the owners and haven't for a very, very long time. Those dogs were smart and it wasn't like them getting loose was even a remotely common thing. It was entirely an accident.

Does your bathroom have a theme to it? Neither one does.

Are any rooms in your house themed? Not really. I WANT to redesign mine with more of a nature-y vibe, though.

Is there someone that you have lost respect for recently? My grandmother, who I ALREADY didn't respect at all.

Have you ever edited an article on Wikipedia? No.

Do you remember your first love? I am not AT ALL exaggerating the times I say that I very sincerely doubt that I would forget Jason even if I developed dementia/Alzheimer's. Some patients do remember specific details of their lives and I am fully convinced that would be me with him.

What is something you can never give up (that's not love or family)? The Internet, lmao.

Have you ever waited in line overnight for something? No.

Is there such a thing as being too rich or too poor? Obviously?????????????

Go back to your freshman year; what kind of music were you listening to? Same stuff as now, various forms of metal, but I would also listen to more scream-y stuff.

Do you have an alter ego? Describe them: No.

What is something you think about yourself that nobody agrees with? That I'm incredibly dumb. People who know me, especially family, always love to point out I'm "super smart" (when it comes to book-type knowledge, everyone knows I have terrible common sense) but I very much feel like they just think about how I performed up through high school. I don't know WHAT happened once I started college (my one and only guess is that my trauma genuinely affected my memory and even how I register information), but it did a fantastic job at making me feel appallingly stupid and unable to process new information. It's probably always going to upset me, how much I changed in terms of learning.

What about something people think of you that you don’t agree with? That I handle kids quite well. I always feel like I'm doing or saying the total wrong thing and acting awkwardly, and even seeing evidence that kids DO seem to gravitate towards me doesn't make me believe that I'm actually good with them.

What is your favourite type of video game? Horror, esp psychological-type horror.

Do you sometimes pretend to do things you dont know how to do? No, that sounds like a bad idea.

If you have tattoos, which one that you have was the most painful? I want to say my inner forearm, I think.

Do you have any pets who will bite anyone else out there, besides you? No.

If you died right now, what would be your biggest regret? Never feeling like I found my place in the world.

What do you believe was your greatest achievement? Healing from the breakup. I know it sounds super little and unimpressive, but when you know how desperately I just always wanted to be dead and the psychological damage it all did that I STILL deal with, you'd realize it was a feat of fucking strength and self-love that I frequently forget about.

What have you learned from pain? To cherish every single moment without it and to also have empathy and understanding.

What was the last text or IM you sent? Girt was asking about moving our hangout day to Wednesday, which I told him was fine; he just feels like having the weekend to himself. I wanted to see him, but I'm not actually upset at all; he's allowed to have time with himself, even if I WASN'T okay with it.

What is the simplest way to make you happy? Talk to me about meerkats or Rammstein or Silent Hill and stuff lmao.

When was the last time you had deja vu? Actually when I was writing an RP post yesterday, it was really weird.

Is there something you are always interested in? The main topic of deep interest that has prevailed the longest is meerkats.

Do you like buffet restaurants? I really don't, I find the concept super gross with how people are.

When was the last time you felt like you were starving? Full realism, I've never felt like I was sincerely, truly starving because I never factually have been. Yeah, I exaggerate and sometimes am like "I'm starving" when I mean I'm super hungry, but I'm fully aware I'm actually not. I consider myself an incredibly lucky person to have constant access to some kind of food.

Would you ever dye your hair all the colors of the rainbow? If my hair would actually take it and it wasn't absurdly expensive, fuck yeah.

What has made you laugh lately? I've been watching a lot of Game Grumps lately, and they do very, very easily. More than any other YouTube channel on a consistent basis.

If a Miley Cyrus song was playing in a store, would you leave? Oh, grow up. I'm not leaving a store I went to to get something I need or even just want just because a fucking song comes on.

Have you ever actually discovered someone watching you? No, thank the fucking lord. That would REALLY creep me out.

What would you do if you found an inappropriate picture of yourself online? I would be EXTREMELY freaked out because I've never taken an inappropriate picture of myself and I've never allowed anyone else to either, so someone would've done it in secrecy. I'd also be absolutely fucking humiliated because I hate my body. I'd absolutely try to figure out who got the picture and try my absolute damnedest to get it taken off the Internet.

What do you think of Facebook? I use it to keep tabs on people I care about and also see memes haha, plus other cool or motivational/inspiring stuff, but it DOES sometimes negatively affect me in the sense it makes me feel insanely behind in life.

Would you rather have Junior Mints or Reese’s? Reese's.

Have you ever taken a Polaroid? I'm quite sure I haven't, though I would actually really like to have a Polaroid-type camera. I can absolutely see the aesthetic appeal of them.

When was the last time you felt pressured? This past Friday Emerson wanted to play catch with one of her toys for a little bit, and though I didn't really want to because I was reading a book, I obviously did.

How many times have you broken a bone? Once.

Do you have a preference of chocolate? Milk chocolate with either a peanut butter or caramel interior.

Do you have a favorite author? Nah I really don't.

Do you own anything “designer?” Definitely not. I ain't got that kind of money.

If you had to draw your life, what would it mainly include? A lot of mental illness imagery and also Jason. Mom.

What is your favourite dinosaur? It's always been the spinosaurus. I also really love velociraptors, but their understood anatomy has changed a whole lot. I've found I prefer less feathery dinos. The Jurassic Park iteration of them are more my style.

Have you ever made bread? I personally haven't.

Would your childhood self be disappointed? UH, YEAH.

Has anything ever fallen asleep on you? Yeah, pets, partners, kids. Maybe sisters at some point.

What do you feel about surgeries? Do they worry you? Well, they worry me NOW because I learned sleep apnea (and mine is apparently severe) is a dangerous complicator in surgeries. I've also wondered if my nightmares could be an issue... I also have a considerable fear of anesthesia awareness, but it's not absolutely overwhelming.

Do you have a Tumblr? My Tumblr was (I'm assuming) accidentally terminated over a month ago and I am STILL waiting to hear back from them, even after sending a second report. 🙃 I've been tempted to go back to my old email account (that one was ALSO randomly terminated after a theme edit but was restored), but I really don't want to so am trying to wait. I just don't at all see what in the world I could've done wrong to be fairly banned.

Would you ever consider moving to another country? Realistically I don't think I will. My mom has basically begged us girls to stay together and prioritize our family bond because our extended family ALL live out of state, usually many states away.

Would you like to live in a realm where the zombie apocalypse is possible? How do we know the one we live in now isn't? Zombifying parasites already exist in simpler, smaller organisms; who knows what the future holds. I do remember reading a scientific article about it for some reason just not seeming possible for humans with our current biological knowledge, but. Who knows. BUT ANYWAY, I would DEFINITELY prefer it to not be possible. I will never understand the absolute maniacs that basically fetishize that universe, like bitch you will die within the first couple days like basically everyone else, stop pretending you're a godly badass in the face of a horde of dead humans that are deadset on eating you and accept you're gonna shit your pants like everyone else lmao.

[andmyvape]

"Please tell me you're not wearing that."

Elayn looked down, then back up with a wide grin. She tugged at her bright rainbow suspenders with her thumbs. "What, not tacky enough?"

Serana gave the ensemble another slow scan. "No, it's… definitely tacky. The combat boots with the khaki shorts is a nice touch."

The grin got wider as she stuffed her hands into her pockets. "They're going to be throwing candy, and I wasn't anywhere near prepared enough last time."

Serana rolled her eyes, but softened it with a smile. "You're ridiculous."

"Isn't that why we're dating?" her girlfriend asked as they headed out the door.

She took a moment to lock up while Serana laughed. "'Careless Whisper' on a boom box outside my window. I can't believe my dad didn't kill you. I know you stole that, by the way. We both went to see that movie when it came out."

"They marketed it as a romcom!" Elayn protested.

They were in the car now. It would be a trick to find parking, but they were running early thanks to Serana's habit of scheduling everything. Elayn was more the type to go with the flow, but living together had her adapted enough that the flow she went with was largely dictated by Serana's schedule. As a research chemist, she worked interesting hours at times, but Elayn was a good roommate, she cooked and cleaned, mostly because she had the time. Lacrosse wasn't a well paying sport compared to something like soccer, but the off seasons gave her plenty of time to maintain their loft. 

"Five dollars an hour?" Elayn griped as the machine printed out their ticket. 

"Homophobia strikes again," Serana said with mock solemnity. 

She snorted and wrapped an arm around her girlfriend's waste. "Which park did you say this thing started in again?" 

It was a little place surrounded by tall buildings, but it was a green patch in a city largely made out of grey. It being Pride Month, the grey was broken up by rainbows. The two wandered around as they waited for the parade to start. 

Well, at least, they started to wander when Elayn caught sight of a dog and all but dragged her girlfriend over to say hi. 

"What's his name?" she asked, so full of enthusiasm she practically floated. "Can I pet him?" 

The dog's owner, someone with a short haircut in a crop top that was orange, yellow, and white striped, nodded. "If he lets you. Sometimes he's not so-- oh gosh," they said, eyes wide as they watched Elayn kneel down and offer a hand to sniff that was immediately accepted. "You must have good vibes." 

"She's a dog person," Serana said with a laugh as the dog put its front paws on Elayn's shoulders so he could lick her face. 

"What's his name?" she asked through slobbery kisses. 

The butch grinned. "That's Duke, I'm Cas. It's nice to meet you!" 

The two introduced themselves just in time for a volunteer to come up with bottles of water. "Our city got voted best water in the state," she said cheerfully. "Take a few, it's gonna be a hot one." 

Before the march, there were speeches. The first was an introduction to the city's first pride parade since the 80s. The second was from a drag queen inviting everyone to the show later that night. Finally, the speeches were closed by an Episcopalian pastor trying to make up for the rest of Christianity's sins. 

"It's starting!" Elayn said excitedly when the crowd started to funnel out of the park. 

The march went down the sidewalk for a few blocks. Traffic was halted and the waiting cars honked while passengers waved. Elayn waved a lesbian flag, Serana had a bi flag, and the two of them dragged a rainbow striped cooler. 

"Mom! Mom!" Elayn heard behind her. "Look, it's two cicadas going at it!" 

She glanced behind her. There was a set of twins, about twelve years old, one of them draped in a trans flag and holding the cicadas that were indeed trying to reproduce. Elayn snorted and hit herself in the face trying to keep a laugh contained. "You like bugs, huh?" 

The girl in the trans flag beamed. "They're my favorite! Well, except for tarantulas, but Mom won't let me have one." 

"The rabbit gets out of its cage enough." The way the girl's mom said it, this was an age old argument. "I don't want to squash it when it ends up in my shoe."

"I had a snake when I was growing up," Serana chimed in. "A corn snake that never got out." 

The twins turned out to be part of a family unit. One twin was trans, and their older brother was too, and as Elayn found soon, was very excited to start HRT. "Get a Gc2b binder," she said. "When I'm feeling like a flat day, it works really well." 

The boy, a younger fourteen, practically floated with excitement. "I will!" 

Serana chatted with the parents while Elayn occupied the kids. "Have you folks been to Pride before?" 

Their mom, a woman named Chelsea, shook her head. "Nope, both kids came out last September and they've been talking about the festival ever since." 

"You seem like really supportive parents," Serana said. It carried the weight of one speaking who has not had contact with their parents since high school. 

Chelsea could tell, and she opened her arms for a hug that Serana was more than happy to accept. 

The march was only about a mile long, and it ended in another park. Elayn craned her neck and said, "I think I see the beer line, wait here?" 

"We will!" said the girl, who was very proud to be named Luna now. 

Serana and Chelsea shared a grin. "I guess we'll wait here," the mom said. 

It was a bit of a line, which was probably not a good thing, but apparently people were restricted on how many drinks they could buy, so at least there was that. While Elayn waited, she was joined by two people wearing pronoun pins that said "she/her". 

Elayn's jaw dropped at the sight of one of the girls' dress, which was a flowing, fae like ensemble. "Holy shit!" she said. "You look amazing!" 

She blushed and ducked her head as she smiled. "Thank you, I got it from Amazon." 

"It's her first Pride," her friend added.

That just amazed Elayn more. "With the sparkles and the green eyeshadow, I wouldn't have guessed. Everything you've got going on is just amazing."

"Thank you!" she squeaked. 

Elayn wasn't alone in thinking the dress was gorgeous. Another person came up to compliment it, and they had such dope tattoos that Elayn could not help but comment. 

"The guy that did them is great," they gushed. "He does blacklight work too!" 

So she got a website saved on her phone for the next time she really wanted to get a tattoo on top of the three she already had; scrollwork on her bicep, a wolf on her shoulder blade, and a small date on her wrist that was the day she met Serana. 

When she got back to her girlfriend and the others, an IPA in hand that was frankly piss, she told them about the girl in the fae dress. 

"I saw her!" Serana exclaimed. 

"Amazon." 

"No way." 

Next was food, especially if she was going to drink a beer. Assuming she actually drank it. "There's some food trucks," she pointed out. "I could go for a corndog." 

"I'm going to get some mac and cheese," Serana said. 

"Mom! Mom!" Luna's twin brother, Ian, tugged at his mom's sleeve. "Can we get pretzels?" 

Chelsea sighed good-naturedly. "I suppose. Do you two want to meet up after?" 

"Over by the stage?" Elayn suggested. 

The group separated. She found the line for corndogs and funnel cake. While she was waiting, the woman ahead of her glanced her way, so Elayn said, "Howdy!" 

"Hey there, hun!" She clapped her on the shoulder. "Having a good time?" 

"I am," she said with a grin. "Everyone here is so nice. There were some moms back there handing out hugs!" 

"Well, I'm a mom, would you like a hug?" 

"I would love that." 

It was a lovely hug, the woman was warm and smelled floral. When they separated, she said, "I'm Elayn! It's good to meet you. Can I get you a corndog?" 

As she pulled out her wallet, the woman waved her money away. "It's Nessa, and actually, I'd like to buy you a corndog." 

"You don't have to--" 

Nessa laughed. "I miss my daughters, you'd be doing me a favor." 

They chatted while the line went down, about lacrosse and about university. It turned out Nessa's two daughters went off to college in other cities, so it had been a while since she saw either. "I had a son," she said. "But now I have a very happy daughter, and I'm so proud of her." 

"I wish I had a mom like you," Elayn said, thinking about growing up foster care. 

Nessa grabbed her in another hug. "Now you do!" 

When she got back to Serana and the others, they were listening to the music booming from the speakers. She had to yell to tell the group about her new mom. 

Chelsea looked a little sad, because she could connect the dots, but Luna and Ian were too busy freaking out over the cotton candy Nessa had bought her too. 

Not long after, the stage was occupied. Elayn was chatting with Luna with her back turned, so she missed it until Serana tapped her shoulder and turned her around. 

"Holy shit!" She hollered and clapped at the sight of a gorgeous, sequin clad drag queen in four inch heels doing a backflip off the stage and onto grass. "Holy shit!" 

As it turned out, the drag queens took tips, and it was at that point that Elayn knew she was about to spend a lot of money. Each queen that performed, and there were many, got a five in exchange for the sheer joy Elayn got when the queen before her touched her hand. 

When there was a break in the performances, she went back to Serana, who had a smirk on her face. "Should I be jealous?" 

Elayn cupped her face, and in a fit of sheer enthusiasm, kissed her girlfriend soundly, to the delight of the twins who hooted. "Don't worry, babe," she teased. "You're the only queen for me." 

"Flatterer." Serana swatted at her chest, but the smile on her face was pleased regardless. 

It was all a blur from there. Fair food, loud music-- and Elayn found beer that wasn't piss! She taught the twins a new vocabulary of cuss words the moment she found out their mom was fine with foul language. They parted around five in the afternoon, when a voice through a megaphone warned attendants that the festival was about to start catering to adults. There was a concert with more drag queens, this time in much more risqué outfits that Elayn would have given a kidney to see on Serana. 

When she said something, her girlfriend got a light in her eye. "Really now?" she purred. "Maybe for your birthday." 

By 11pm, Elayn was high on the party atmosphere and a few beers. The festival was over, and the walk back to their car would be a trick. "Did you have fun?" she asked Serana as they walked hand in hand. 

She got a kiss on the cheek. "I'm so glad I have you. When are we getting married?"

"When I figure out how to surprise you with a ring." 

[insomniamamma]

"Ferris Wheels Are For Old People" Ezra x f!reader w/Cee

A/N: for the Writer Wednesday prompt. @autumnleaves1991-blog  I do shift work so I’m a little late to this party. Here’s hoping it’s still Wednesday somewhere.  Reader, Ezra and Cee go to the state fair.

Warnings:vague mentions of past trauma. Contemporary AU. AU in which Cee is Ezra's niece. Loads of fluff

          "And what, pray tell, is that monstrosity?"           "Funnel cake," you say around a piping hot mouthful. Ezra narrows his eyes at you.           "It's red." he says, "Cee, have ever heard of such a thing?" Cee mumbles something through a large mouthful of her own rapidly disappearing funnel cake. "Heh. I thought not."           "It's red velvet funnel cake and it's delicious." You tear off a piece and offer it, "You want some? What? You're some sort of funnel cake purist?"            "Purist isn't the word--" Before he can say more you pop the sweet hunk of fried dough in his mouth.            "Mmm. Okay," he says, "I admit this is better than I expected. However," he grins,  corners of his eyes crinkling, "I cannot fully cement my opinion of red velvet funnel cake without sampling another piece."  

           You break off another chunk and boop him on the nose with it before delivering it to his waiting mouth, leaving a bright splat of powdered sugar.

          "God, you guys are gross," says Cee, her own face smeared with sugar, "You're like teenagers."

          "You fall into that category yourself, Little Bird,"           "Yeah, but you guys are like high school kids," says Cee, "The ones that sneak behind the bleachers to suck face and smoke during the football games." Ezra flusters and you giggle. He's still new to the whole parent thing and it shows sometimes.           "C'mon guys!" says Cee, tucking the last bit of funnel cake into her mouth, "I wanna go see the cows!"

           Cee wants to explore every bit of the fair. The big tents of livestock in pens waiting to compete, cows and horses and sheep.           "The sheep actually say bah! I always thought that was just how people wrote it," Cee's smile is huge, "Like a watchucallit--ono--omot--"           "Onomatopoeia," says Ezra.           "Yeah! One of those! But they actually sound like little old men saying 'bah' like  bah humbug you know?" You smile. It's good to see her like this. To see them like this. You knew Ezra before the accident of course. He lived in the ramshackle cape cod across the street. You saw him all the time, puttering around his garden, sitting on his porch reading with a beer bottle sweating, forgotten beside him. He jumped your car when the battery crapped out. You brought him tomato plants after starting way more than you needed. You had keys to each other's houses just in case.  After the accident, you mowed his lawn when the weeds got too extravagant, picked up his mail. You'd heard about the accident long before Ezra came home missing an arm and with his teenage niece in his care. People talk in small towns. Drunk driver. Damndest thing. Wrong way on the highway. Could have happened to anyone. Damon had been killed instantly. That much you knew from the gossip. You didn't ask for more details. Over the past year you'd watched Cee creep out of  her shell and start living in the world again, but right after, she'd buried herself in her books and music and hardly spoke two words to anyone.           "I love that little girl with my whole heart," he'd told you once, the two of you sitting on his front porch drinking beers and watching bugs suicide into the zapper, "I just hope I'm doing right by her." You reached for him, laced your fingers with his like you'd done it a million times and squeezed.           "She'll be okay. So will you."

          "Where does she put it all?" You marvel as Cee tucks into an order of deep fried dill pickles slathered in ranch dressing. Cee has made it her business to eat her way from one end of the midway to the other. You tapped out after a funnel cake, deep fried corn-on-the cob on a stick and a pile of shoestring fries the size of your head, but somehow Cee keeps going. She's had corn dogs, chicken and waffles on a stick, deep fried jelly beans.           "It's that teenage growth spurt," says Ezra, "For her slight frame, her appetite is most impressive. You would not believe how much milk I go through in a week." You poke him in the ribs.            "I've helped you unload your groceries," you say, "I have some idea." He smiles at  you in the fading light.

           As the sun sinks, the atmosphere of the fair shifts. The ag exhibits start to shut down for the night, and the lights of the rides grow bright against the pink smeared sky. The sky at night in summer feels bigger than usual, wider somehow. Heat radiates up from the pavement instead of down from the sky and the wind picks up just a little, occasional breezes that feel like a lover's caress. You don't know at what point you and Ezra started holding hands, unsure of who found who first, your fingers intertwined feels like the most natural thing in the world as the two of you trail Cee around the midway.

          "I wanna go on that one!" says Cee, pointing to what looks like an electric pirate ship swinging back and forth by its mast. You can feel the red velvet funnel cake and all the other stupid stuff you ate doing barrel rolls in your stomach.           "I will throw up," you say.           "How about the Ferris wheel?," says Ezra, "It's the biggest one in the state." Cee rolls her eyes.           "Ferris wheels are for old people," she says. Ezra fumbles an accordion of folded tickets out of his pocket.            "Here," he says, "Take what you need to ride that vomit inducer. Those of us who cling to sanity will ride the Ferris wheel instead."            "Sweet!" says Cee, taking her share of the tickets.            "You meet us right back here," Ezra hollers at her retreating back.

           The safety bar clanks home and Ezra smiles at you. You grip the bar hard. You don't mean to, but Ezra sees. Ezra always sees.            "You okay?"            "Yeah. I'm okay." You say, "This goes pretty high." He wraps his arm around you as the wheel starts turning. The upper arc of the wheel is high enough that the screams from the other rides seem lesser, you can see the whole of the fairgrounds spread before you, the food trucks and games, the shimmering arcs of the roller coaster, little kids shrieking their way down the giant slide, even the slow trail of the sky-car beneath you. Your chest tightens some, but you feel Ezra's warmth beside you, the weight of his good arm across your shoulders.           The car lurches to a stop and swings, and you grab onto Ezra, and he laughs.           "Ezra--"           “It's supposed to do this, love," he says, "This point in the ride, they stop the cars so the riders can take in the view. The moon's up, see?" And you do see, the sharp crescent moon slicing over the dark treetops.           "Love?"           "I'm sorry," he stammers, and you can feel him winding up for some long-winded apology. You reach for him, cupping his stubbly cheek and drawing him to you. You press your lips to his and he returns this kiss, slow and soft and sweet as the wheel resumes its spin. He tastes like powdered sugar.

[clairenatural]

Suptober 2020, Day 10: Sweet rides. Destiel (and background Saileen), honestly just 2k of state fair fluff

The Kansas State Fair rolls through a few months after their final boss battle with God himself. In the spirit of trying to heal and taking some time to just breathe, they all pile into the impala and drive the three hours to Hutchinson. All five of them, after Sam bounds into the kitchen one morning to excitedly announce that Eileen wants to come, and Dean can’t remember the last time his car (or his heart) was fuller.

Sam spends the first hour of the trip awkwardly turned around in the passenger seat, contorting his long torso to be able to sign with Eileen, until eventually Dean pulls over and makes him switch with Castiel (who probably should have been in the front in the first place). He watches his brother and his girlfriend start trying to teach Jack the ASL alphabet but keeps his own hands resolutely constrained to the steering wheel—if he gave them free reign he knows they’ll do something drastic, like reach out for the angel riding shotgun.

Still, the ride is nice. It’s the early Kansas fall, when the air is turning crisp but the sun is still warm, and the giddy relief of seeing Castiel smile without some cosmic threat looming over them still hasn’t worn off. By the time they pull into the fairgrounds it’s afternoon, and Dean is laughing along with the rest of them. They step into the hustle and bustle of the fair, and Jack’s face lights up in a way it hasn’t since before the weight of killing God was shoved onto his shoulders. Sam and Eileen split off pretty immediately, and they’re so happy Dean can’t even pretend to be exasperated. He’ll make fun of Sam later—right now he just watches them run away, giggling like teenagers, with a fond expression that could border on pining if Dean Winchester was the type to pine.

Then it’s just him, and Cas, and this half-angel kid who’s simultaneously all-powerful and a toddler. Jack, one of the most powerful beings in the universe, quintessential in the defeat of God, who still approaches cotton candy with a childlike wonder fitting for his three years of life. They discover that Jack likes cotton candy but loves rollercoasters. Dean, who discovered he hates rollercoasters a few decades ago, sits this one out—content to watch Jack drag Cas from ride to ride while he sits on a bench and eats corn dogs. When they finally stop for a breather it’s the tail end of the afternoon and Dean greets them with lemonade and funnel cake, and they watch the fair go by while eating the kind of fried food you can only find at state fairs. Cas is dismayed at the deep-fried Oreos. Dean eats three. It makes him feel sick—turns out even his stomach has limits—but it makes both Cas and Jack laugh, which makes it worth it.

Overall, it’s the perfect day, which might be why Dean’s immediately suspicious when Sam and Eileen show up some time later with matching mischievous smiles. They sit down at their picnic table and Sam leans in to slide something into Dean’s pocket, adding a whispered “thank me later” into his ear, before clearing his throat and turning his attention to Jack. “Hey, uh, Jack,” he starts, and Dean’s suspicions grow. “Eileen and I spent most of today playing games—you wanna show us the rides? Maybe,” he nods towards Dean in the least subtle way possible, “give these two a break?”

Jack looks between them for a moment before something seems to dawn on him and he smiles, which Dean does not like at all. “Yes,” he replies, simply, and starts to stand. “The best one is that way.” He points to the exact opposite end of the fair. Dean groans internally. Damn kids.

Cas watches them go with a look of contentment Dean isn’t sure he’s seen on the angel before, and he peeks at what Sam had slid into his pocket—two tickets for the massive Ferris wheel. Dean sighs and looks at Cas, then to the wheel. The afternoon is well on its way into evening now, and the low sun has the metal structure backlit and glowing. He looks back at Cas, who’s watching his odd reaction, confused. “Dean?” he questions.

Dean thinks about how much shit he’ll get from Sam (and Eileen) if he doesn’t go for it. He thinks about having to go another day, or even another hour, without holding Castiel’s hand. He thinks about how there’s nothing really stopping him—not anymore, not with the world safe and Cas not going anywhere anytime soon.

He makes a decision.

I’m in love with you. Please ride the Ferris wheel with me as the sun sets, he thinks.

“There are, uh. Some sweet rides here, huh?” he says instead. Castiel frowns at him, brow furrowed, and Dean wants to be enveloped by the earth like some cliché in a tween movie.

“You’ve spent most of the day avoiding them at all costs,” he points out and, yeah, that was not Dean’s best line. “I had to ride the, uh. The ‘Space Roller,’” he points at a giant spinning structure, “Twice.” Cas grimaces at the memory, and Dean frowns in sympathy. It was the only time he’s ever seen the angel nauseous.

“Jack had a good time, though,” Dean replies, because bringing up Jack is always a foolproof way to make Castiel smile again. Cas smiles in the way he always does when he thinks about his son, and it’s adorable but also off track, so—

“Ride the wheel with me,” Dean blurts out, before Cas can respond to his comment about Jack and before he can lose his nerve. Cas looks startled, either by the abrupt subject change or the two tickets that Dean slapped onto the table with his statement. “Sam—I mean, Sam and Eileen didn’t—” Castiel’s expression has changed to bemused confusion, so Dean stops talking and starts again. “Sorry.” He clears his throat. “Sam had extra tickets. I just thought it would be nice, you know. If you wanted.”

The smile he gets in return simultaneously puts him at ease and sets his heart racing. “I’d like that,” Cas says, like it’s the simplest thing in the world, and he’s already standing and gathering their trash by the time Dean’s brain catches up.

There’s a couple in front of them in line for the Ferris wheel. They’re holding hands. Dean forces his into fists in his pockets. Not yet, he tells himself. Soon.

Unfortunately, the cabin they eventually climb into starts rocking dangerously the moment it’s lifted off the ground, and Dean immediately decides this was a Bad Idea. They get halfway up the wheel before they lurch to a stop and dean makes a noise that is definitely not a whimper as he waits for the swaying to stop.

“Are you alright?” Cas asks, deeply concerned in the way he always is about Dean. Dean shrugs, not letting go of the lap bar.

“Yeah, you know. I just, uh. Got this thing about heights. It’s fine. I’m fine.” He sees Castiel’s face shift out of the corner of his eye and realizes he’s smiling. Dean is having a near-death experience and the angel next to him is smiling.

“Dean Winchester, a man who fought God, is afraid of heights?”

“Shut up,” Dean grumbles. “This thing is not structurally sound.” He tries to crane his neck outside the basket to examine the metalwork, but the movement makes the entire thing rock. He retreats, holding onto the lap bar for dear life, and sneaks a glance at Castiel. “Man, how are you not freaked out by this?”

“I suppose I’m used to falling,” Cas replies, as easy as ever, and it slows Dean’s brain down enough to look at him again. He’s still smiling, but there’s something else there. Something sadder.

“Cas—” Dean starts, but is abruptly cut off by the wheel kicking into gear again, squeaking as it pulls them over the crest of the wheel before stopping once more.

The sun is setting over the fair, casting everything below in shades of orange and gold. There’s the faint sound of children laughing and fair music drifting up from the ground, and the expanse of Kansas is visible beyond the fair’s borders. It’s breathtaking, really. It’s the part where, if this was a rom-com, Dean would make his move.

Instead, he’s clinging to the lap bar of the Ferris wheel car, and Castiel is doing his very best not to laugh in the seat beside him. Dean groans, squeezes his eyes shut, and considers disowning Sam.

“Dean,” he hears Cas say, mirth in his voice but also unmistakable softness, and then a warm hand is covering his own on the bar in front of them. “Look at me.”

He does, forcing his eyes open, and—oh. Cas has moved closer, and his blue eyes are lit up by the last rays of daylight, and suddenly Dean’s heart is racing for an entirely different reason. “Uh. Hi,” he says, because his brain seems to have shorted out, but the corner of Cas’ eyes crinkle into a smile and it’s beautiful.

Castiel’s hand is still warm on top of his own, grounding him even as they’re far off the ground. He’s looking at Dean like he’s the most precious thing in the known universe, and Dean realizes that now, actually, is when he would make a move.

“Hello, Dean,” Cas replies.

And Dean kisses him.

Dean barely registers that Cas is kissing him back—Cas is kissing him back??—when he absently takes both hands off the lap bar to pull Castiel closer, which means the entire car rocks again. Dean makes an undignified noise and pulls back to re-steady himself, and his cheeks are burning but Cas is laughing so that means it’s probably okay.

“When we get back to solid ground I’m kissing you for real,” Dean promises as the wheel squeaks back into movement again. Cas hums in agreement and presses a kiss to Dean’s cheek, and Dean can feel his smile. They hold hands on the bar of the carriage as the wheel turns them back down to earth.

Dean makes good on his promise as soon as they touch down, dragging Castiel behind a nearby tree and pulling him into a real kiss—solid, like the ground they’re standing on. Solid like the foundation they’ve been building for the past decade, of trust and love and family.

When they finally make it back to the picnic table, they look far too disheveled to blame it all on the ride. Sam looks up from the sundae he’s sharing with the other two, grins down at Dean and Cas holding hands, and winks at his brother. Dean rolls his eyes, blushing, but he squeezes Castiel’s hand and pulls him closer.

When they pile back into the Impala later, joined by the army of stuffed animals they’d managed to accumulate (Sam and Dean in an informal competition to see who could win the most for Eileen and Cas, Cas and Eileen irritated at the insinuation that they couldn’t win toys themselves and walking away with even more, Jack being innocently and gleefully good at every fair game he tries), it’s with a peace and contentment that the family hasn’t felt in years. Sam and Eileen immediately fall asleep in the backseat, curled up together, and Jack is watching the Kansas landscape pass by the window with a soft smile. He’s holding a stuffed panda.

They don’t speak much, not wanting to wake up the sleeping couple or disturb the quiet peace they’d created, but Dean and Cas hold hands across the bench seat, and every few miles the angel will pick up their hands to press a kiss to Dean’s fingers. Dean feels like he’s flying, like he’s standing on top of the Empire State building, like he’s reached the peak of Mount Everest. For once in his life, he’s not afraid of the height.  

[adultswim2021]

The Brak Show #21: “Braklet, Prince of Spaceland” | October 5, 2003 - 11:30 PM | S03E01

This is the one where the Brak people do Hamlet. See, Zorak killed dad and Brak is Hamlet, I’m guessing. I fucking detest William Shakespeare and I think he was an idiot. I had to learn Hamlet, I thought it sucked. I hated every minute of it. Bad stuff! and too weird!

This one I remember had a funny promo. I think it was the comic-con 2003 preview video where they showed a clip from the end. Brak and Zorak have a sword fight and they show the part where they behead each other and then the clip ends as if it was a big cliff hanger, like WHATS’S GONNA HAPPEN! They literally spoiled the end for fun. Hilarious! Well, it doesn’t matter, because this episode mostly sucks. There’s a part where there’s a squirrel, and Brak goes LOOK A SQUIRREL, and its like... don’t you guys get that that’s like, a line somebody would write to make fun of The Brak Show (2000)’’s writing? The last line is funny though. You can’t take that away. I wouldn’t dare try.

MAIL BAG

i have reported this blog to to all the admins. you have fucked with the wrong wikipedian pal

What did I even DO to you!? FUCK YOU PAL. I suggest you drop this subject.

Michael Ouweleen has been making a lot of moves lately to appeal to older adult swim fans. Any chance he gets Brendan Small back in the mix or is he just permanently making his weird metal music now. I know Loren is all tied up in network/streaming bullshit.

Brendon Small’s current-day goings-on is out of my purview. But I would be really pleased if he made a Home Movies special but it’s rated “Rated R”, but not for swearing, just slurs

Any fitness advice for someone who watches too much Adult Swim and doesn't get out of the house at all like me? Feeling a bit big at the moment, and Tuca Season 3 is on the horizon...

You gotta go outside and just chase people around. Most people will be scared, and the thrill of the chase will cast a spell over you. Working out always seemed “too gay” to me, but this has worked for me and is extremely ideal. Burn fat with purpose, chase some guys

What's your favorite thing to do at the fair? Go on a ride? Win a prize? Eat a corn dog or elephant ear (funnel cake)? Play "fair" with your answer and maybe your dream can become a reality.

I love going with my equally ugly best guy friend and we loudly argue about which one of us is going to get the most phone numbers from “hot bitches” and then secretly getting off when women around us look at us with despair in their eyes. This is what I like to do at the fair. This is what I like to do everywhere. Second is elephant ear

I know Sealab's quality drop-off is well-established and maybe adult swim's most severe, but do you think aqua teen ever had one? Or do you think it stayed pretty consistent over the years? Up and down? Peaks and valleys? You tell me

The Dr. Weird era was definitely classic Aqua Teen to me but the show never got too bad, really. I think it might’ve worn out it’s welcome a little bit maybe. I remember thinking the spacekataz season was weak but there’s some really great episodes in every season and was always worth watching. We all take a moment to respect Aqua Teen Hunger Force tonight.

[thesmalltowngal]

Snowbaz 23- Golden Days

Otp Prompt #23: There’s a fair in town, and all of Watford attends. Everything in Simon and Baz’s lives has gone to hell… they deserve one night of forgetting everything. What will happen on their last day of freedom under the neon lights of the carnival? (Before the defeat the Humdrum, after everything else except Baz and Simon aren’t together yet.)

*Baz’s POV*

My father is an arsehole. After everything that’s happened this year, of bloody course I felt it horrifically unnecessary to go to a carnival. Crowley, we should still be focused on the war with the old families and the Humdrum, for fucks’ sake! When I told my father my plans of sitting it out, he for some reason felt the need to fight me on the subject.

“Basilton, you’ll regret it if you don’t go, you know.” He had said to me, looking bored. (Although I knew that he wasn’t bored- he was fully alert and intent on giving me hell.)

“Father, in what world would I regret not going to a silly party for children where all they serve is…” I visibly shiver as I lace  disgust into my tone. “Fried.” He rolled his eyes then, as he does so often. 

“These are the good days, my son. You should make memories- you’ll regret it later if you don’t go tonight.” Well that was the biggest bloody load of shit I had ever heard. The good days? Yes, yes, the good days in which I spent pining over my enemy that was destined to kill me, loathing myself to a point of insanity, and trying to find my mothers’ killer. What wonderful memories. 

I tried to keep my composure as I said, “But, father, I really see it more fit to-”

“Basil. Enough. This is non-negotiable, I’m afraid. You are to go to the carnival and that’s that.” We didn’t discuss it further. I knew I could have simply skipped, but no doubt that he’d find out somehow. I promptly huffed (with dignity- I’m not a troll) up to my room and stayed there for the rest of the afternoon, playing mournful songs on my violin.

I’ll be damned if I, Basilton Grimm-Pitch spend the whole carnival moping because father dearest told me I had to go. I was just going to sit on a wall smoking with Dev and Niall, but apparently their parents couldn’t make sense of why they should go, either. They’re currently at their respective homes, preparing for the inevitable war. 

The carnival is already loud and large, and it’s not even noon yet. Most of Watford attends, which explains the mysterious floating popcorn all around. There are people everywhere, their pulses beating unbearably loud. (I had to drain two deer before this, just to make sure I wasn’t tempted by all of the flowing blood around.) Looking around, I see people I know, but I’ve never talked to. (Mostly because they’re inferior.) I don’t want to go in. I don’t want to make ‘memories’ with people who would like to see me dead, and I most certainly don’t want to be here watching Snow and Wellbelove cozy it up on the Ferris Wheel. 

Startling me from my thoughts, I feel a finger tap me on my shoulder. I whip around, expecting to see Dev or Niall after all, but instead, I’m face to face with Simon Snow himself. (Well, not face to face so much. More like his face to my jaw.) Speak of the devil. He looks beautiful, as always. His bronze curls are a halo of gold around his face and his (extra)ordinary blue eyes. He looks nervous, but determined. 

“What do you want, Snow?” I sneer. 

*Simon’s POV*

I wish he wouldn’t sneer at me so much. I came over to him because honestly, he was the only familiar face I could find. Not much time to socialize with anyone but your bloody roommate, (ex) girlfriend and best friend when you’re the chosen one. 

I roll my eyes, but speak nonetheless. “Well, er… where are Dev and Niall?”

“Currently unavailable,” He pauses for a moment, thinking. “Why, Snow?” To be quite honest, I don’t really know why I’m doing this myself. Maybe because there’s no one else I know here. Maybe because I know this is the last time I’ll see Baz until one of us kills the other. Maybe because he just looked so alone standing there in front of the carnival.

“Well, because, um… Well, I-”

“Spit it out, Chosen.”

“Penny and Agatha couldn’t come tonight and I don’t know anyone else. And I just… well, I just need a night away from everything.” I look at him with what I hope are pleading eyes. He scoffs and begins to walk away, but I reach out for his arm. He stops, looking back at me, and quirks an eyebrow. “Listen… Baz, please. This is our last day of freedom. It’s the end of the year, the end of Watford, and right now, I just want to forget everything. Just for one night. Do it with me, Baz.” He looks mildly disgusted, but I can tell that he’s thinking about it. 

“Everything?” He nearly whispers. I know he means everything that’s happened with us in the past. The fighting, the threats. I nod my head, sure of myself. “Okay. Deal.” I let his arm go and we walk side by side into the carnival (we’ve never walked side by side; it’s weird) that has a large neon sign at the top of the gates. ‘Golden Days’. Must be the name of the carnival. I look at Baz with uncertainty, but he just smiles at me. Merlin, is that what Baz’s smile looks like? Crowley, I could get used to that. 

I grab his hand and start running into the crowd, dragging him behind me. I hear what I think is Baz laughing behind me and it gives me a jolt of ecstasy. His laugh is so carefree… like he’s got nothing but everything to live for. I love it. I keep dragging him behind me until we get to the line for a rollercoaster. I let his hand go and I see that he turns pale. (Well, paler than usual, that is. He must’ve eaten before this because he has a bit more colour than he usually does.) 

“What’s wrong?” I frown. He gulps and I watch as his Adam’s apple bobs up and down.

“Nothing, Snow, I just…” He’s trying to maintain his composure, but he’s failing. It’s bloody odd seeing his nervous. Baz is a lot of things, but nervous is not one of them. “I’m not a fan of rollercoasters.” Oh. 

“We can ride another ride if you-”

“No. No, it’s fine, Snow. I can do it,”

“Why are you afraid?” He glares at me but doesn’t correct my word choice. 

“When I was younger I went on one with my aunt Fiona. I… well my stomach didn’t react well.”

“Vampires can get sick?” I mentally slap myself, but instead of glaring at me, he just nods absentmindedly as he stares at the rollercoaster. He must really be scared if he’s admitting to being a vampire. Although I suppose it doesn’t quite matter now that we’re not in Watford anymore. I grab his hand and give it a squeeze, not letting it go this time. His hand is cold and calloused but it’s a nice break from Agatha’s warm and smooth hands. I think I see his breath catch, but I ignore it. 

We don’t talk again until we’re seated in the ride, climbing up to the top before the drop. Baz’s breath is fast and his leg is shaking, so I hold his hand even tighter. “It’s gonna be okay Baz,” I laugh. He rolls his eyes, but I see the smile playing on his lips. As we drop, I look over to see Baz screaming, but laughing all the same. His hair is flying all around his face and he looks absolutely perfect as always. The bloody wanker never looks bad even as he’s terrified on a rollercoaster. As we lurch on the turns, he looks over to me, his face alight with joy. (It occurs to me now that I don’t think I’ve ever really seen Baz happy. It’s… well it’s bloody lovely.) I smile back and we keep holding hands all throughout the ride. 

*Baz’s POV*

Snow seems to be keen on torturing me. On all of the rides so far, he’s held my hand bone-breakingly hard. (Although it doesn’t hurt because I can’t really feel the pain. All I feel is his warmth in my cold hand.) He only lets go once we’re off the rides, and even then it seems reluctantly. After all these years of fighting, being friends with him seems so natural. I try not to think too hard about how it will all go back to normal by morning. Aleister Crowley, I wish we could stay this way forever. 

The sun is setting now, but the carnival goes on until sunrise. Well, I suppose that’s not totally true. The Normals leave around 11 and then the Watford students spell the gates unlocked after, staying in until daybreak. Only four more hours until the Normals leave.

Simon turns to me, smiling a lopsided and bashful smile. “I’m kind of hungry…” He mutters, a grin on his face the whole time. I roll my eyes good naturedly. (Who would’ve thought that was possible?) 

“You’re always hungry, you git,” I sigh and prompt him to walk forward. “Go on then, Snow. Let’s get you some atrociously fried food.” Somehow, his face lights up even more as he grabs my hand again (I feel sparks every time we touch) and drags me to the nearest food stand. (Can you even call it food?) Simon orders one big ‘funnel cake’ and a corn dog. Both fried. Both bound to make him sick on the rides. When we get the food, he drags me along to an open bench to sit down. He places the corn dog in front of me and the cake in front of him. I simply shake my head and push the dog to sit in front of him. (What I would give for a real dog right now. I’m not very hungry for blood, but I wouldn’t pass it up.)

He furrows his brow and pushes the food back to me, along with some ketchup. “Eat.” He says it simply, like it’s a command. I roll my eyes, but (reluctantly) dip the corn dog in ketchup and then take a bite. It’s… well it’s not the bloody worst thing I’ve ever had. Crowley, it might actually be good. I suppose I’ve never had anything fried. It’s frowned upon at the Pitch manor. But this isn’t half bad. I cover my mouth as I take another, bigger bite. When I look up from my plate, Simon is smirking to himself while absolutely shoveling food into his mouth. 

I must look disgusted because he looks up at me and asks (with his mouth full), “What?” I laugh and roll my eyes again. It’s like watching a dog eat. A dog that I’d like to slip the tongue. 

“You’re disgusting,” I shake my head and look away from his face before I do something stupid. Like spit on him and then lick it all off and kiss him. Yes, that would most certainly not be smart. I cover my mouth with my hand again as I take another bite, trying to chew around my fangs. But before I can even swallow, Simon gently (I never thought Simon could ever do anything gentle to me) pulls my hand away from my mouth and holds it there. There aren’t butterflies in my stomach. Vampires don’t get butterflies. We’re immortal and dangerous and badarse. I have bats in my stomach.

“Baz, you know you don’t have to do that here. No one else is paying attention,” Does that mean that he’s paying attention? “It’s just me. Eat how you want.” He shrugs, pulling his hand away from mine after a moment, blushing furiously. He is so bloody adorable when he blushes. Damn it all to hell.

I don’t cover my mouth again as I keep eating and he smiles at me. I can feel his magic wrap all around me as we eat together in silence. Not in a threatening, burning way like usual… it’s warm. Safe. 

“What ever is the bloody appeal to that fried… mess that you’re eating, Snow?” I break the silence. He looks up at me, eyes practically bulging out of his head. “What?” I inquire.

“You’ve never had a funnel cake?” I shake my head.

“Um, no. I don’t fancy getting vampire diabetes anytime soon.” He lets out a laugh (I realize too late that I’ve just admitted to being a vampire… but he doesn’t seem to care) and pushes his plate to me, gesturing at the powdered mess. 

“Try it! It’s delicious, Baz. Just one bite,”

“I, um… I think not,” He rolls his eyes and gets a small bite of the monstrosity on his fork. 

“Open.” He commands.

“Er, Snow-”

“Open!” He commands with a laugh. I sigh, because I know that he won’t relent anytime soon. I open my mouth ever so slightly. I know he sees my fangs because his eyes go a bit wider and he mutters, “Wicked…” I try to ignore the urge to snap my mouth shut as he puts the food in my mouth. It tastes like… well it tastes like right diabetes, doesn’t it? But powdered sugar covered, fried to perfection diabetes. 

“Crowley, Snow! This is delicious!” I snatch the plate from him and start eating at a Simon-Snow-pace, manners well from my mind now. He frowns, so I quirk an eyebrow at him.

“Well, Baz, since we’ve decided to put everything behind us… I ‘spose you shouldn’t call me by my last name anymore, yeah?” He fidgets with his fingers as he says it. Calling him Simon seems so… personal. Too personal for enemies-turned-one-night-friends. But I suppose I could have a bit of fun with this. Before I can say anything, he blurts out, “And not Chosen, either.”

“Right. Well then… where to next, love?” He takes in a breath and turns bright red, tripping over every other word. For a moment, I think I’ve done the wrong thing, but once he gets a hold on himself, he just smiles at me and nods. 

“Okay, Baz. Very funny. ‘Least it’s better than Snow or Chosen.” I can’t believe he’s letting me call him love. 

*Simon’s POV*

I can’t believe that I’m letting him call me love. I can’t believe that I liked it when he called me love. I don’t know why I want him to do it again. I get up from my seat and throw our trash away, trying to calm myself down away from Baz’s watchful eye. When I get back to our table, he’s standing up and waiting for me while adjusting his jacket. 

“Come on then, Sn-” He stops himself before he can finish, turning a little pink. “Love. I’ve got the next place to go to.” I smile and grab his hand, letting him lead me to our next adventure. In some ways, I’m happy that Penny and Agatha couldn’t make it. I’m glad that I get to spend time with Baz alone. (When did I start wanting alone time with my enemy?) 

When we finally stop, he takes his hand back. (For reasons I’m not willing to think about right now) I feel my heart fall when he does. We’re in the line for the Ferris Wheel. It’s nearly time for the Normals to start heading out; they’re walking out of the carnival and the Magicians have started spelling the workers to keep the place up and running after the Normals leave. When we get up to the front of the line, the man working the ride let us on in the two seater. The Ferris Wheel is so tall that the seats should probably be enclosed, but it’s a carnival, so no one is surprised. 

Baz and I squeeze in next to each other, and not one single part of our bodies other than our heads aren’t touching. From our toes to our shoulders, I can feel an electric current running through my veins. My heart is beating wildly. I don’t exactly know why- it’s just Baz. My enemy/friend for one night. Although, I’m trying not to think too hard about the one night part. In fact, I’m trying not to think about anything right now, really. Just how safe I feel at the moment, and how lovely Baz has been tonight. It almost hurts, knowing that this is how we could’ve spent all those years. As friends instead of mortal enemies. Then again, that wasn’t really our choice in the first place. 

But it is tonight. As we slowly climb higher and higher, the carnival gets much quieter. Much calmer than when the Normals were here. The air is filled with magic. I can feel Baz’s magic wrapping around me, and the night sky is thick with everyone else’s. Everything is flying every which way and sparks from wands are everywhere. But what might be most beautiful is the neon lights all around us. Once it got dark, everything started lighting up, but not so bright that we can’t see the stars at the top of the Ferris Wheel. It’s beautiful. I can’t help but lean into Baz, resting my head on his shoulder. 

Maybe it’s just me, but I think I can hear his heart beating. It’s not long before I feel his head resting on top of mine. His hair tickles my ears, but I can’t find it in myself to mind. I don’t mind anything right now. Crowley, I think that the Humdrum himself could pop up right now and I wouldn’t give a bloody rats’ arse. 

I slowly bring my head up, and when I look over at Baz, he’s blushing. “Sorry, Snow- er, Simon. I mean, um…” He sounds like me, tripping over his words. Ignoring the way that my heart leapt into my throat when he called me Simon, I stop him. 

“Baz, no. I just… well I was wondering why we were never friends like this before.” I feel my face burn, but I just need to know the answer. I need to know why we weren’t ever like this when Merlin it’s been so wonderful tonight.

He looks at me with his stormy eyes as he says, “You know why. My family, they… well, you know, Simon.” There he goes calling me Simon again. He looks away, but I catch his face with my fingers. We’re stopped at the top now; we can see everything from up here. But all I find myself wanting to look at is Baz. 

“Screw your family.” He looks taken aback, and I must admit, I’ve surprised myself, too. I don’t know where this courage came from. I’m not drunk. (Well, maybe a bit. Maybe drunk on Baz.)

“Simon, I-”

“Stop calling me Simon.” I state simply. Stop calling me Simon or I’m going to do something stupid. 

He pauses for a moment, looking into my eyes like he wants to memorize every ordinary colour there. 

“Simon.” He whispers.

*Baz’s POV*

I don’t know why I called him Simon again. Maybe because he’s looking at me hungrily, and Crowley, I want to know what he’ll do. Maybe because if it makes him mad… I’ll get to kiss him before he sends me flying. Maybe, if he screams at me for calling him by his name, I’ll finally get what I want. 

Then he kisses me. I don’t waste any time floundering or pulling away. Instead I automatically pull him closer, deepening the kiss. Merlin, Methulusah and Morgana nothing has ever felt this nice. He’s doing this thing with his jaw, and his hands are roaming under my shirt and in my hair and I can barely even think, and-

Someone clears their throat loudly. “The ride is over, gentlemen.” Simon and I spring away from each other and look at the ride operator. I just got into trouble for snogging Simon Snow on the Ferris Wheel. Aleister Crowley, I’m living a charmed life. I feel Simon shaking with laughter as he clambers (really clambers- he’s as graceful as a hippo) out of the seat and extends his hand out to help me up. 

“Coming, love?” I smile at him so hard that my cheeks hurt. (Probably because I’m not used to smiling.) I nod and grab his hand, letting him help me out. Instead of pulling his hand away this time, he laces his fingers through mine and takes off running with me as we shoot down the nearly barren walkways. Magicians all around look at us with curiosity, but I can’t find it in me to care. As we run, my jacket billows behind me and Simon keeps tripping… but it’s perfect.

It’s like a slow motion scene from those movies. The one where the couple is running away from their troubles together, like nothing else matters. They’re smiling and laughing, and the one in front turns back to look at the one behind them, all of the love in the world in their eyes. It’s like that, but so much bloody better because it’s gay. And anything with Simon Snow in it is infinitely better in my book. 

We finally get to a man with a large old-timey polaroid camera stood up and Simon places two pounds in his hand. He drags me up in front of the camera and pulls me down to his level and smashes his face against mine, as though we were in a photo booth. The camera snaps. For the next one, he presses his lips warmly against my cheek and waits for the camera to snap again. Then, he (without my knowledge or permission) (although he could kill me now, and he’d have my permission) jumps up into my arms and nuzzles his face into my neck, closing his eyes. I’m supposed to be looking at the camera, but I can only keep my eyes on him. Finally, for the last picture, he hops down from my arms. As he goes to do a pose beside me, he (somehow) trips over himself and ends up grabbing onto my jacket collar, pulling me towards him. We land in a breathtaking kiss, him still pulling me ever closer, and me too stunned to do anything but let him. 

When the camera snaps, he springs away and  goes to retrieve the photos from the man. Simon has more energy than a labrador right now. I’d like to think it was from kissing me, but it might just be from the overall craziness of the night. For a moment, he slows, taking my hand and pulling me close so that I can see the photos, too. They all turned out lovely, even if he did nearly knock me over in the process multiple times. He looks up at me now, and he walks backwards, taking me with him. (He tucks the photos away in my jacket pocket.) 

When we get behind a tent, he pulls me to him again, snogging me like there’s no time left. There is no way that things will ever go back to the way they were after this. 

*Simon’s POV*

We’ve been having a proper snog now for at least twenty minutes. My heart is… well it feels like it’s been lit on fire, doesn’t it? (In a wonderful way, that is.) His mouth is soft and cold and I can’t help it when I lean back and tell him something that I’m not even sure I knew myself. “I love you, Baz.” His face glows and he looks at me as though he’s always been hungry for my touch. (And my touch only.)

“Crowley, you dolt. I’ve loved you since fifth bloody year.” He laughs before pulling me back in to get lost in him again. 

…

We spend the rest of the night on a hill near the back of the carnival either snogging or talking. He’s laying down right next to me, and I’m practically on top of him. We should’ve been like this all these years. It only took us until graduation to figure it out.

“Hey Baz?” He traces the moles on my face while I run my hand on his stomach. (In just a short time, I’ve learned that it’s one of his favorite places to be touched.)

“Yes, Simon?” I smile when he calls me by my name again. So much better than Snow or Chosen. (Although ‘love’ might be a close second.)

“Thank you,”

“For what?”

“For… for giving me a night away from everything. For escape,” He frowns. 

“What?” I ask as I place a kiss to his jaw. 

“Is that all this is? Are we… will this be over by tomorrow?” I can’t help but let out a laugh.

“Not by a long shot, my love… not by a long shot.” 

*Baz’s POV*

I understand now why my father wanted me to come to the carnival. This will undoubtedly be my favorite memory in years to come. I also understand the name of the carnival now. ‘Golden Days’.

The definition of Golden Days is “a period of great happiness, prosperity, and achievement.’ These are the golden days, the bad and all. Simon Snow is my golden day. 

Fourty Years Later

“Simon, love!” I call down to him from the attic. In a few minutes, he comes climbing up the stairs as fast as he can. He may not have his magic anymore, but he’s still fit for an old man. I suppose we’re both old men, now. He’s just an old man with a tail and wings. 

“Yes, Baz?” I stand up (not as agile as I used to be) and walk over to him, pressing a gentle kiss to the side of his face. 

“Look at what I found, dear…” I give him the pile of polaroids that I found in a crate. “From the carnival so many years ago.” He smiles wistfully at the pictures. We were both young, then- no wrinkles or worry lines. (Although he is still dashing in his old age.) In the polaroids, we were at a carnival called ‘Golden Days’, I believe.

“Yes, I remember…” He mutters more to himself than me. I know he doesn’t remember. Dementia does that to a person. But that’s okay. As the years went on and the colours of wanderlust started fading… so did Simon. But there are some things that have remained. The memories will never change, for one. We’ve stayed absolutely drunk on each other, throughout our lives. I’ve stayed pale, and Simon has stayed bloody handsome. The love has remained the same. And even though Simon doesn’t remember half of our memories… I’ll keep them alive. I’ll keep him alive. The him that was so alive and so full of wonder. 

I will never forget the golden days that changed my life forever.

[throughtheglassdarkly]

Missing Pieces, part 2

Welcome back. When last you were here, I almost barfed on the turkey. Onward.

About two weeks passed from our dinner with the seasonal Court leaders and the Harvest Festival, where we were told we could officially swear loyalty to any court we chose. My motley didn’t hang out too much during this time. The freehold managed to get each of us some one-bedroom apartments in a not-too-bad part of Albany and we were all interested in getting back to living a regular life. Some of us were also interested in seeking out our fetches, getting jobs, or learning more about the Courts. Few of us managed all of that.

Pam and I both managed to find jobs baking. I got work at an upscale bakery that specialized in overpriced cupcakes for gender reveal parties and other ridiculous things. Pam got a job baking in a kitchen. Both of us were happy with this – it let us do something we loved. Yova managed to make contact with some of her old friends and associates on the entertainment circuit and started the process of getting back into working as an accompanist and some lessons.

Bella, Yova, and Pam were all interested in seeking out information on their fetches. Bella did some Facebook stalking and learned that aside from a little concern after she first disappeared, her family seemed pretty happy with her fetch. It made her sad, but at least she knew they were doing all right. Pam was able to focus on a connection with her fetch and realized things weren’t going as smoothly as they could be, either with her kids or husband. She actually reached out to her fetch, sending her messages on Facebook and offering help with advice about her kids. The fetch tentatively responded and they began a correspondence. Yova, however, had the most surprising discovery of any of us. She tracked her fetch down to a sanatorium upstate and discovered that the pressure of being Yova caused her fetch to snap. Yova told me later she was tempted to just choke out her fetch in the cell, but managed to hold back because she knew it would be very bad if she killed her fetch and tried to take that crazy back into herself.

Of course, something I know we were all thinking about was which court, if any, to join. We all received some gifts and notes from the court leaders, at least any ones we made an impression on. Winter sent a fairly impersonal note to everybody. I don’t know what the others received, but Autumn sent me a lovely mason jar with some bagged cupcake mix inside. It was a very sweet thought, but I tossed the bagged mix and kept the jar. Bella visited with Spring and had a long chat with Duke Lamington, Mistress Lilly’s second-in-command. Day went to Summer and talked with them about their mission in keeping the freehold safe. I met up with Evain and he took me to Autumn’s lodge in the Hedge where the court kept a ton of records, books, and relics. I also got a chance to talk with Evain a bit and realized he wasn’t as bad as he first came across to my motley – he’d escaped from Arcadia about twelve years before us and found that his fetch had died while he was back. He was starting a new life, which was both good and bad: good because he could get a fresh start from having a criminal history before he left, but bad because he’d had a kid who he couldn’t get back in touch with.

Ultimately, Bella decided that she did want to join Spring’s revelry, Day wanted to take up arms with Summer on behalf of the freehold, and I committed to joining Autumn and trying to add to their knowledge and study. Pam, who’d been kind of keeping to herself since she got back, didn’t feel a need to join any court off the bat, which didn’t surprise me. Pam is definitely the type to avoid picking any court over another simply because she doesn’t want to cause hurt feelings. Much to my surprise, however, Yova also demurred on joining a court. She told me at one of our brunch sessions that she was having a very hard time deciding between Spring and Summer and that she didn’t want to make a decision she might later regret.

At any rate, the three of us who had decided to swear loyalty were told that the next major event where we could do so was the Harvest Festival, which was to be hosted by the Autumn Court as one of their major events of the season. We all (minus Pam, who had a shift she had to work) arrived at an apple orchard about twenty minutes outside the city that the court had rented out just for the freehold. It was a chilly but nice Sunday afternoon – we needed jackets because the wind was cold, but the sun was out and it there was one of those crystal-clear October skies. The leaves were gold and bright red and it felt like the epitome of autumn.

Once we arrived, most of us went our separate ways. Yova was single and looking to mingle. Before too long, she made the acquaintance of a flame Elemental named Susie from a neighboring freehold who was quite taken with Yova and they started talking very intently. Bella grabbed some cotton candy and joined Day, who was stuffing his face with funnel cake and pie and corn dogs and apple cider, and managed to sneak a couple bites off of his plate (risking her hand every time she did). As for me, I was mostly interested in checking out the fair as a whole, trying to see what my new court was doing and how it was getting put together.

And also trying to avoid molting. Yeah, molting. Embarrassing as it was, I was shedding feathers all over the place.

Evain introduced me to some of the other Autumn courtiers and I was standing around talking to them, when the trouble started. I can’t really explain it, but I had a feeling almost akin to what I felt back in Arcadia, when I was being made to serve Amberleigh’s needs. It was as if I was aware that I was being used for someone else’s pleasure, like my actions weren’t my own. Also, weirdly, I almost felt like I could see a giant can of Diet Coke next to me.

(Note from the author: Derek has a character merit called Trained Observer, of which he has the advanced form. This merit allows what’s called the 8-again rule on all observation and perception checks in Chronicles of Darkness games. 8s, 9s, and 10s are successes and he can re-roll any successes until the dice do not come up as successes. He rolled a whopping 11 successes on this particular roll, and our GM described that Derek suddenly and briefly became aware of himself as a character in a game.)

But that moment passed. And what I was also suddenly aware of was seeing a frazzled-looking teenager running through the stalls. What made him stand out was that he looked wholly human: as a changeling, you can see other changelings for how they really are, so you know another changeling instantly at a glance. This kid was definitely not a changeling. I managed to step out of the way just before he would have barreled into me and he yelled at me to watch myself. I asked him if something was wrong and he stammered out an obvious lie about looking for his dog. He asked what was going on with the festival and I made up a story about it being a last-minute benefit for sick kids. I told him we could let him know if anyone stumbled across a dog and he gave me his address. As he was leaving, I saw him picking up a few of the feathers I’d dropped and I mentioned him to Evain, who went off to grab security and yell at them for letting a human get in.

The next few hours, into the evening, went smoothly. It turns out the Autumn Court actually manages to throw a pretty decent shindig. Bella and Day ate their way through all the food stands, Yova and Susie shamelessly flirted over a few glasses of hard cider, and I got to sit through one of the lecture forums to get more of a feel for my court. Oh, shut up. It was a lot more interesting than it sounds. At any rate, we got brought into one of the tents for the formal swearing shortly after sunset. And that’s when the trouble really began.

The first thing we noticed was that The Dagda was drinking heavily from a jug of wine and pacing up and down through the tent, talking to a few Autumn Courtiers who all looked very uncomfortable. He spotted us and seemed to remember what we were there for, but didn’t give any inclination that we’d be going to actually do that. I piped up and asked, “Is everything all right, sir?” “No. No, it is not all right,” he said, draining the wine and letting out a belch. “There’s been a setback. Or not a setback. A hiccup. A hiccup sounds better, more neutral. We have to have a change of plans.” Seeing that none of us had any idea what he was talking about, he took in a breath and turned to face us. “Someone has broken into one of our displays and absconded with a Token that we retrieved from Arcadia. A crystal swan.” He turned and looked at me. “And I don’t want to say anything, but… we found these in the display.” And he didn’t even need to show me. I already knew what he was going to pull out of his pocket. White and black feathers. Goddammit.

Yova managed to get out, “Now, sir, you can’t honestly think that Derek would do something like that.” The Dagda grabbed another bottle of wine and started sucking it down before he said, “Of course I don’t want to think Derek would do something like that. So I’m willing to listen to any possible explanation.” I think he was a little surprised that I wasn’t more surprised or acting guilty. I was rubbing my forehead, trying to ward off the sudden headache I was feeling, and said, “I knew that kid was up to no good.” I told The Dagda and the rest of my motley about what I’d seen the kid doing and how I saw him picking up some of my feathers that I’d been molting. Day started snickering at that – he’d been mocking me ever since I started shedding feathers – and I gave him a look of death.

The Dagda nodded at that and said that this was a perfect opportunity to – pardon the expression – kill two birds with one stone. He told us to find the kid and get the Token back and if we were able to do that, we could arrange for another time for us to swear our loyalty to the courts and get our mantles. There wasn’t much else we could do other than agree to do our best to find the kid. “Good lad!” he told me and clapped me on the back, which sent feathers everywhere, then he tottered off. I turned to Yova, Bella, and Day and told them about the address I got from the kid. “It might not be anything, but it’s a start,” I said. We agreed to check it out and walked over to the junky pickup Yova’d managed to get her hands on. The three normal-sized ones of us got in the front seats and Day climbed into the back. And if there is anything that is more upstate New York than a big dude riding away from an apple orchard in the back of a pickup, I don’t know what it might be. Except voting for a presidential candidate completely against your self-interest.

It didn’t take long for us to get to the address I’d been given – it was barely ten minutes’ drive away. It looked like your average farmhouse, nothing special about it. We discussed our plan of attack. Yova took the alternator cap off and headed up to the front door, knocking and asking for help. While she did this, Bella blinked out of existence, slipping inside the house when the door opened. She told us that she’d scream bloody murder if there was trouble. She’s good at that.

The lady who answered the door was very tired-looking and told Yova that her husband could help Yova with fixing the car. Bella slipped up the stairs, looking around and seeing a bunch of news clippings for their local town. There were also two bedrooms upstairs, one that had the name “Charlie” on it and the other which had the name “Abigail.” Yova got the husband to lend her a wrench and she and Bella met Day and me back outside. Bella told us there was nothing to see, that the house was boring as fuck, but she did note that the clippings were about crimes in the local area. Yova did some Google Fu and realized that the daughter in this family, a nine-year old named Abigail Hepburn, had been missing for two days. Bella asked me for a description of the teenager I saw and when I gave it to her, she realized from some pictures she’d seen that it was Abigail’s brother Charlie.

We realized we needed to get back inside and Yova, thankfully, had a contract that allowed her to do just that. She brought the wrench back and walked right in like she owned the place, asking about Charlie. The man seemed to think she was one of his teachers at school and told her Charlie was downstairs, so Yova made her way down to a furnished basement and started talking to a very confused Charlie. She asked him about what he’d been doing and he told her about the “sketchy party” in the orchard, implying Yova might be one of them. She asked, “Do I look like I hang out with sketchy people?” “You kinda do,” he said. “In these shoes?” she asked. She ended up giving him her number and he mentioned that if she could help him find his sister, he might be willing to exchange a trinket for her time. Yova realized that he was definitely up to no good, but there wasn’t much else she could do other than head out and wait for him to contact us.

Yova dropped each of us off at our apartments. She later told me that she called Susie up, who was totally down to fornicate. I didn’t get many of the details out of her, but they definitely made sparks.

God, I hate myself.

As for me, I spent the evening doing what I did pretty much every night before bed. I made a makeshift bed for Paisley out of a shoe box and a t-shirt and had her sleep on the table next to my bed. Before we went to sleep, however, I would always write down some short messages on index cards and hold them up for her to look at. I wanted to tell Adrian how things were going, so I’d write a few notes down and have Paisley look at them. I still wasn’t sure if Adrian was able to see into the human world, but on the chance that he could, I wanted him to know that I was thinking of him and trying to figure out a way to get him out of Arcadia. That night, the cards I held up read “Went to Harvest Festival.” “Autumn Court lost a Token.” “We have to find it.” “Trying to talk to people who know about contracts.” “Hope things are good there. I miss you.”

The next morning was notably colder than the day before – there was frost on the ground and the windows were fogged. As much as I wanted to spend the morning in bed, my phone was constantly beeping. There were a ton of messages from Yova. “Thanks for GIVING me your number.” “Don’t you want to know about the trinket?” “;)” “:p” “You guys are soooooo slow.” I found out quickly that all of us – Yova included – got these messages from her. Charlie had clearly gotten into Yova’s phone somehow and was sending these messages out. He gave us an address in a strip mall on the outskirts of Albany where we could meet him.

We managed to touch base and (Yova a little more reluctantly than the rest of us) all met up at the strip mall where Charlie was waiting, looking smug as all get out. He told us that he wanted some incentive for us to help him find his sister. “Just tell us what you want,” I groused. “And make it quick,” Yova snapped. He straightened up and started looking more serious. He told us that Abigail had been wandering the Hedge and he wanted us to get her back. He wasn’t able to go himself and said he didn’t really care what happened to Abigail, but that he needed his mother to be happy again. Yova asked him what he was and he smiled grimly and said, “I’m something caught on this side that can’t go back. Fate has conspired for us to work together and you need to play our part as I’ve played mine.”

I asked where Abigail was last seen and he told us he’d take us to the trod. We piled into Yova’s pickup, with Charlie and Day in the back, and he directed us back out to near where he home was, eventually leading us to a little stream just off a trailhead. “So what if it’s too late?” Bella asked. Charlie shrugged and said, “I just want her back. I don’t care in what state. My parents need closure.” Yova straightened herself up to her full six and a half feet and started to ask him what if we were to simply bring the entire freehold down on him. But as she was doing this, she started to feel an immense amount of pressure, and she realized that something had happened – we were supernaturally bound to see this promise through to the end.

Without waiting for an answer, Yova marched back to her car, retrieved her rapier, and marched back. Day started forming a mud patty and, like he’d done in Arcadia, swallowed it before spitting it out over his arms to make his fists stony. I knew I wasn’t going to be a huge help in fighting, but figured I could at least make it harder for anyone to track us down. I asked if either Yova or Day could carry Bella and Day reluctantly let her climb on his back. I reached down and erased one of my footprints, then one of Yova’s and one of Day’s, spending some Glamour and ensuring we wouldn’t leave tracks. We bid an awkward and annoyed farewell to Charlie and stepped through the trod. The Hedge we emerged into was not like anything I’d seen before: it was a massive corn maze with scarecrows, a chill breeze, and dead leaves.

Yeah. He sent us into the goddamn cornfield. But it was good that he did that.

We had no idea what direction to head in and spent some time trying to get our bearings. It was Yova who first picked up on the fact that the wind was blowing in an unnatural way, seeming to gust at us from several directions at once. She started to think about wishing the world could make itself a little easier, and as she did that, the wind picked up again and one of the scarecrows turned in the wind, suddenly pointing in a direction. The leaves also started blowing in that direction. We figured this was about as good a sign as any we were going to get and started trekking along.

As we followed the leaves, we realized they were leading us away from certain things, dead ends, pits we might not have seen. After what felt like about an hour, we made it to the center of the corn maze, where we saw a gathering of little hobgoblins. And what were they doing, you ask? Having a tea party with Abigail Hepburn. This left us in a bit of a quandary. Obviously Abby wasn’t in any immediate danger, but that didn’t mean we could just leave her be and watch what was happening. We started quietly discussing what we should do. Day suggested beating them down. “And then we’d have to carry a screaming child back through the Hedge. Do you want to carry a screaming child back through the Hedge?” Yova asked him. “I’m already carrying a screaming child through the Hedge,” Day retorted. “HEY!” Bella yelled, which of course caught their attention. I swear, I have no idea how Bella became a Darkling.

We had to respond quickly and thankfully, Yova decided to practically float into their gathering, charming the absolute shit out of everybody. She plopped down next to Abby, who was completely smitten, and introduced herself. The goblins talked about Abby as their treasure, which Yova heartily agreed with. Thankfully, there are times where Yova being completely full of crap comes in handy. She spun a story that she’d traveled far and wide to swear fealty to Abby as Abby’s knight. She then swore an oath that she would make sure Abby was safe until Abby saw her home again. I was watching and managed to seal that promise remotely, hoping it would give us a leg up in getting Abby back home. Notary, away!

The hobgoblins weren’t terribly pleased about this and said that they were going to take Abby further into the Hedge for their clients. Yova noticed Abby squirming a bit and asked if she had to use the bathroom, which she did. She offered to escort Abby to take care of business and the head hobgoblin insisted on some female hobgoblins going along with them. Day, Bella, and I attempted to slip through the cornfield, with Bella activating her darkness to give us some cover. While Yova and the female hobgoblins were letting Abby have some privacy, Yova activated one of her contracts to make the hobgoblins afraid of the maze, then she comforted them, making them completely interested in helping her. They turned coat and agreed to go with her. She took them and Abby and started making her way back out of the hedge maze.

Of course nothing could ever go that smoothly and the other hobgoblins started following, realizing that something was up. Yova made a wrong turn and the hobgoblins ended up cornering her and Abby. Yova picked Abby up and whispered to her, “Keep your eyes shut.” She blazed her light at the hobgoblins, who fell back, shrieking, and then Yova ran like the dickens. We all booked it through the corn maze and managed to meet back up again at the entrance.

Abby was completely enchanted and wanted to know how Yova managed to do that. “Well, I made a deal with a unicorn,” Yova said. “Unicorns are real? They always make fun of me at school for liking unicorns,” Abby said. “Well, this was a special space unicorn,” Yova told her. And, because I am not a good person, I grinned and told Abby, “Yeah, all she had to do is put her hand around his horn and stroke it up and down really quickly, and then she got some magic sprayed all over her, especially her face. Isn’t that cool?” Abby looked delighted, and if looks could kill, Yova would have put me in the ground five times over with the glare she gave me.

There wasn’t any point in sticking around, so we hurried back through the trod and spotted Charlie. He was hanging out casually by the trod, but as soon as we came through, he straightened up and made his expression like the teenager we saw earlier. He yelled Abby’s name and she ran over to him, crying. While we watched, he made her swear not to talk about the things she saw to their mom, which we all had a pretty pissy expression about. He told us to take them home and promised he’d give us the Token then.

We brought them home and both Mr. and Mrs. Hepburn started crying when they saw Abby back safe and sound. Yova told them a story about being out driving and seeing Abby looking lost and scared near the woods. Mr. Hepburn couldn’t thank her enough, telling her that if they could ever do anything for her, to just let them know. Charlie slipped us the crystal swan and, before we got dragged into anything else, we skedaddled. 

And then Day suggested we go get waffles.

So that’s a good enough spot to stop for now. When next you join us, more shenanigans and misfires. Until then, may you never molt around a kleptomaniac.

[carrie-reylo]

Prompt: She’d never known how badly she’d wanted it until the moment it happened.

Sorry it took so long BUT here we go!! 

Corn Dogs and Oreos

also on ao3

Rey Jakken was a woman who was always happy with what she had. Growing up in the American foster system had her appreciate everything she had in the moment because it was never certain when she would have it next. When she finally aged out, she was able to pursue a degree at Coruscant University due to two scholarships she received: one covered her tuition, the other covered her housing and meal plan. She was required to live on-campus all four years, but it allowed her to work a part-time, instead of full-time, job to cover her textbook and other expenses.

At the end of her second year, she was set up on a blind date with her lab partner’s childhood best friend. Much to Rey’s luck, the boy ended up being a very respectable, albeit awkward, guy. And they hit it off. Two months later they were dating. It was a weird adjustment for Rey because she was only used to having to think about herself (and her friends), but having a boyfriend meant making plans for family dinners and dates and functions--all of which she wasn’t familiar with.

The family dinners ranged from tense to hilarious, and at the functions, Rey and Ben could always be found in the corner judging the patrons of whatever the function was for that month. The dates were always their favorite parts, though. It was a time where they could just be whoever they wanted that night and enjoy the time with each other without having to put up any act.

There were fun dates and formal dates and Netflix dates and all kinds of other dates. But there was one date that always stuck with Rey: the night they went to the carnival.

--

“Ben, will you please just tell me where we’re going?” Rey sighed.

“That would ruin the fun, bug. You look fine, and it’s going to be fun, so just take a chill pill.”

“Can you give me a hint?”

“You’ve never been to this before.”

“Ben, that’s a lot of places.”

“Then I guess it’ll just be a good surprise.”

Ben glanced over at her, taking one hand off the steering wheel to place it on her thigh. He gave her a reassuring squeeze, then brought his hand back up to the wheel and put on the blinker to turn. Rey sighed in defeat and looked out the window, hoping for some kind of clue as to where they were going.

Hapes County Fairgrounds, a sign they passed read.

“No way,” Rey said, breathless.

Ben looked over at her and cocked an eyebrow.

“Are you taking me to the fair?” Rey said excitedly.

“If I am?” Ben smirked.

“Ben fucking Solo, I love you so much.”

“We’ll be there in about seven minutes,” he smiled.

For Rey, that was the longest seven minutes of her life. As a child, she never got the opportunity to go to any fair that came through town due to her lack of funds and no parent willing to pay the entrance or for tickets.

Pulling into the parking lot, Rey seemed to be vibrating in her seat. Ben pulled into a spot and put the car in park. Grabbing his wallet, unbuckling, and exiting the car, he made his way to Rey’s side of the car, opening the door for her, holding a hand out for her.

The moment they entered the fairgrounds, the air smelled like a mix of fried foods, sweat, grass, and dirt. Ben and Rey walked toward the ticket booth, purchasing as many tickets as two twenty-dollar bills could afford.

“Where to?”

“Food?” Rey said, looking up at him. “I don’t know what smells so good, but it definitely has made me so hungry.”

Ben offered out his arm, and Rey took it without hesitation.

The duo grabbed their food and sat down on a picnic bench set out between the hordes of food trucks. Kids are running around with their parents in tow, high schoolers are either with a group of friends or on what looks like a first date. Rey had dove into the food she got (a corn dog--her first one ever) and Ben was about to start on his order of fried Oreos. Every bite Rey took sounded more obscene than the last and Ben sort of wanted to take her behind one of the rides and kiss her silly, making sure that the next time one of those noises came out of her it was directly because of him, but promptly decided against it when she looked up at him and smiled with just a bit of ketchup on the corner of her mouth. He just leaned over the table and wiped it off with his thumb and Rey’s smile seemed to get larger than it was already.

“When you’re done, do you wanna go play some of those games? I’m pretty good at them,” Ben said, sitting back down on the bench.

“That sounds like a plan.” Rey shoved the rest of her corn dog down her throat. “I’m ready!”

Ben laughed at her eagerness, but gathered the trash and found the closest bin. He grabbed Rey’s hand and led her toward the game tents.

“This is my favorite one,” Ben said, dragging Rey up to one of the booths.

This booth was a water gun game where they had to hit the target long enough for one of them to hit the goal at the top. Ben handed enough tickets for both of them to play, and they grabbed the last two spots in the row of ten-some other kids. The host of the game said some obnoxious intro, but then the game began. Despite having fast reflexes, the seven-year-old three seats down won the game, getting to choose which stuffed animal he wanted. Ben walked over to the host and handed him more tickets. When he came back, Rey looked at him with a cocked eyebrow.

“I’m going to win you one.”

“Ben, that’s not necessary.”

“Of course it is. Now let’s get ready for the next round.”

It took Ben three more rounds, but eventually, he won. After letting out an excited yell, Ben stalked over to the host and picked out the absolute largest stuffed animal he could get and brought it over to Rey.

“You look like a lion who brought in a good kill, Ben,” Rey laughed.

“Only the best for my lioness, then,” Ben said, handing her the large penguin he picked out. Rey grabbed it and his hand and reached up to kiss him one on the lips and once on the cheek.

Using the hand she had grabbed, she led him around to other various rides around the fairground. The tilt-a-whirl was by far her favorite, and she went on it six times. Ben only made it two times before he had to go hug the bin nearest to the ride, giving Rey a thumbs up for the remaining four times she rode it by herself.

It was nearing the end of the night when Ben realized there was one thing they hadn’t done yet, and it was the one thing he really, truly wanted to do when he planned this night.

--

“Hey, Rey, how do you feel about heights?”

Rey made a noncommittal shrug while eating her funnel cake.

“Wanna go on the ferris wheel?”

“That sounds like fun,” she smiled. Ben noticed a bit of powdered sugar on the corner of her mouth and, instead of letting her know, licked the tip of his thumb and leaned over to wipe it off.

Once she threw away the plate that the funnel cake came on, they made their way to the ferris wheel. The line was, surprisingly, not long, probably due to it being a Tuesday night and almost 10 pm. It took maybe ten minutes to get through the line and on a gondola, and off they were. Eventually, they were stopped, and though not at the top, they were facing out and able to see the skyline.

“This is gorgeous,” Rey said, entranced by the view.

“I love you,” Ben replied.

Rey’s head snapped to look at him.

“Huh?”

“I love you, Rey,” he said once more with more emotion in his voice.

They both sat in silence with the sounds of the remaining children screaming in joy, the music filling the air, and the bells and whistles of the games and rides in the background. Several seconds passed with nothing said between the two, and it was obvious that Ben was starting to panic.

“I do too,” she finally broke the silence. “I love you, too.”

“Oh, good,” Ben breathed in relief.

“Did you think I wasn’t going to say it back?” Rey smiled, scooting closer to him on the bench in the gondola.

“Sure seemed like it for a second there.”

“Well, I do. And I never realized how much I wanted to hear that until you said it.”

Rey placed a hand on his cheek and leaned up to kiss him lovingly.

“I love you so much, Ben Solo.”

[leigh-kelly]

104 please

A continuation of this.

After Santana had been so upset the week before, Brittany is more anxious than ever to get to Lima. She knows how much she hates being home, and how much of an outcast she feels in her town, so she’ll be glad to just get there and be with her, even if it’s only for a long weekend. It’s only been a few weeks that they’ve been apart, but it honestly feels like forever for Brittany. She’s been going crazy doing mostly nothing but laying by the pool and working on some math stuff, and she needs some time with her girlfriend more than anything.

She leaves later than she’d wanted, and as a result, she ends up sitting in nearly two hours of traffic. She has no idea how there’s so much traffic in Ohio, but apparently there was some kind of accident, so she screams to herself in the car, thinking of how every single minute she’s stuck there is a minute less that she’ll have with Santana. It’s only the first weekend of July, and already she’s wishing it was August. She’s not thrilled about being back in classes, and constantly worrying that she’s going to fail, but she wants to be back with Santana full time. She hates distance, and this really, really sucks.

When she finally arrives in Lima, it’s after lunchtime, and she’s glad she’d thought to pack a sandwich for herself in the car. She’s always aware of these things, thinking of the obsessive schedules she makes surrounding food. She’d be lying if she said it still wasn’t a struggle every day, and that food didn’t control her life in a lot of ways, but she’s much better than she was, and at least now she knows that she absolutely has to eat, no matter how obsessive she can sometimes get about the act that surrounds it.

“Honey, I’m here!” Brittany calls out, knocking on the door to Santana’s mom’s house and waiting patiently for her girlfriend to come downstairs. 

“Hey.” Santana grins, opening the door and standing there in cotton shorts and a grey tank top. “You finally made it.”

“Please, what a nightmare. If I was going anywhere else but here, I would have turned around and gone back.”

“Well I’m glad you didn’t.” Santana pulls Brittany into the air conditioned house, and immediately kisses her. “I would have been majorly disappointed.”

“I’d never do that to you, you know. If I say I’m going to do something, I’m going to do it.”

“I know, and that’s one of the many reasons I love you.”

“Where’s your mom? The only reason I was goofy and called out to you like that was that I saw her car was gone.”

“She went into the office. Normally I’d really fight her about working on a Saturday, but...you know.”

“Avoiding the separate bedroom policy?”

“I really worked on her about it. I thought I might actually win, but...she was raised by my grandmother, I know she has certain rules for propriety, and apparently until I’m married, she doesn’t want me sharing a bed in her house.”

“I think it’s sweet. Shitty, but sweet.”

“I mean, I’m cursed with my stupid period this week anyway, so, I guess it only matters half as much as it would otherwise.”

“Well, I did bring you chocolate, and also it’s cold in here, so we can cuddle on the couch for as long as you want.”

“I don’t want to trap you inside all day because my uterus is the actual devil. The fair starts tonight, but we could go to the park or something, if you wanted.”

“Totally your call.” Brittany smiles, kissing her again. “I’m just glad I’m here, I don’t care what we do.”

Brittany knows Santana is really bummed about having her period when they still haven’t even figured out when they’re going to see each other again before school starts, so she tries to make her feel better. She knows sex is absolutely off the table, and Santana would probably die of embarrassment if Brittany even suggested it, so they end up making out on the couch for an extended period of time. Though they’re only a year removed from high school, they both feel so grown up, and Brittany can’t help but laugh a little that they’re making out on Santana’s mom’s couch. But still, she doesn’t let it ruin the moment, and she takes the opportunity for some good old fashioned first base action, massaging Santana’s breasts under her t-shirt. She leaves a mark just below her neckline that’ll remind Santana of the fact that she managed to make her come without even undoing her pants every time she sees it in the mirror.

Santana’s mother comes home from work not long after the separate on the couch—it’s almost as if Santana has some kind of sixth sense about it, Brittany thinks—and they have a late lunch with her. Maribel apparently has her own date to the fair, and Santana tries to pry information out of her, while Brittany grins and what a good mother and daughter pair they make. After the kitchen is clean, Santana grabs sweatshirts and a blanket from her bedroom, and she packs up the car with water bottles and snacks for later. Brittany thinks it’s cute how prepared she is, since she usually flies by the seat of her pants, and when Santana begins driving to the fairgrounds, Brittany grabs her hand on the center console and squeezes it tightly.

“So what’s there to do at this fair?” Brittany asks, though she’s pretty sure she can figure it out.

“The usual, I guess. Except the fireworks show is the best. Mom and I haven’t missed a year my whole life.”

“Am I cramping your style, stealing you away from your mom tonight?”

“Oh...no. I mean, I talked to her about it, and she was the one who wanted me to invite you out for the fair. It’s kind of the one place every single person in town takes a date. I’m glad I finally get to be one of them.”

“Well I’m honored to be your first date to the fireworks.” Brittany feigns a bow, despite being seated, and Santana laughs. 

Santana pays to park the car, and hand in hand, they walk through the grassy lot and up to the gate of the fair. Brittany laughs as Santana swats her hand away to pay for sheets of red tickets, and she takes in the sights and smells of the carnival. Her parents aren’t big into things like this, her dad gets too distracted and her mom’s shoes would sink into the mud, so she thinks this is exciting for her as it is for Santana. It’s the kind of date like she’d see in the movies, and the whole idea of it is so cute that she kind of wants to dance around. 

“You okay, Britt?” Santana bumps her side with her shoulder.

“Yeah, totally. Just really excited. Can we go on the Ferris wheel?”

“I was hoping you’d want to.” She looks down at her feet, a small smile spreading across her face.

“Obviously. I’m glad I don’t have to pull a scene from The Notebook and scale the thing to get to you.”

“That’s another one I haven’t seen.” Santana shakes her head. “But yeah, I’d prefer if you didn’t climb it, I’d probably have a heart attack.”

“Don’t have to. I’ve already won you over.”

“In spite of me.”

“And don’t be alarmed if I fall—“ Brittany sings. “Head over feet.”

“I love your voice.”

“It’s nothing compared to yours. Seriously, if you weren’t so set on your English thing, you could be a singer.”

“Britt, stop. I’m just a shower singer.”

“Still, you’re really good.” She squeezes Santana’s hand. “Alright, let’s do this Ferris wheel thing. But I’m totally kissing you at the top.”

“You’d better.”

Brittany is giggly while they wait in line for the Ferris wheel, mostly because Santana’s grin is so wide. She loves that she gets to have all of these big firsts with such an amazing girl, and she loves even more seeing how happy it makes her. When it’s finally their turn, Brittany steps back to let Santana get in the car first, and she slides in beside her, pulling the lap bar down over them. She doesn’t hesitate to grab her hand again, and as they rise up, Santana lays her head on Brittany’s shoulder. 

As promised, they kiss at the top, with the view of all of Lima beneath them. Brittany thinks it’s kind of sweet, seeing Santana’s whole hometown while she gets to kiss her. She knows this place has been rough on Santana, but it’s also where she came from, and Brittany is so glad that she gets to be part of this. When the ride is over, Brittany knows she should eat something for dinner, and she nudges Santana toward the circle of food stalls. While Santana picks out cheese curds, Brittany gets a corn dog, slathering it with ketchup and mustard, and taking a big bite out of it.

“Want some?” Brittany holds it out to Santana, who pulls a face.

“Ew, get that thing away from me. You know I hate ketchup.”

“Oops, I forgot.” She licks the ketchup off the side of her mouth and takes another bite. “‘S good.”

“I’ll take your word for it. Want some of these?” Santana offers up her paper tray of fried cheese to Brittany, who pops one in her mouth. “We’ll share a funnel cake later for the fireworks.”

“A few years ago I would have died at those words.” Brittany murmurs, savoring her corn dog in a way that still surprises her that she can. “But that sounds really good.”

“Can I try to win you a prize?” 

“Really? You have to ask? Of course you can.”

Santana leads Brittany to the games, and she finds a balloon dart stand. Considering Santana always says she has no coordination, Brittany is wholly impressed by the way she nails a balloon with each of her five darts. When the carnie gives her a giant stuffed whale, she proudly presents it to Brittany, who beams, and wishes she could kiss her right there. Then, clearly not satisfied with the stuffed animal, Santana steps up to a stall with little plastic bowls of fish, and she takes her bucket of balls, failing on the whole first attempt, and then buying another bucket, because she’s clearly become intent upon winning a fish for Brittany. When she’s finally successful, Brittany cheers, and Santana proudly takes the fish in the plastic bag, bowing a little as she hands it off to Brittany.

“Now we’ll have a pet in our room!” Brittany grins. “If I don’t accidentally kill it first.”

“Haven’t even moved in with you yet, and you’re already sneaking contraband into our room.”

“Oh, c’mon, the no pets rule is dumb, especially for a fish. My cousin in New Mexico snuck a rabbit into her dorm room, I don’t think the fish’ll be a big deal at all. We can just hide it behind your big stacks of books when the RA does room inspections.”

“I’m only saying yes because I agree that the rule is dumb, and also because it’s cute that you’re already planning a pet for us.”

“Duh, you won it for me, you should get to be part of its life.”

“Fair enough.” Santana laughs. “We should probably go get the blankets and sweatshirts out of the car and find our firework spot. It’s getting dark.”

Brittany follows Santana back out to the car, and she sort of stands idly as Santana organizes the things and lifts the bag containing them out of the trunk. She tries to take it, but Santana is insistent upon carrying it, and Brittany doesn’t argue. Instead, she takes her free hand and follows her to the grassy area where other people are already setting up. Santana spreads the blanket out on the lawn, and she offers Brittany a sweatshirt to combat the evening chill, combined with the feeling of too much sun throughout the day. Then, once they’re settled into sweatshirts and have their shoes off, they lay back on the blanket, heads touching and hands entwined.

“This is really nice.” Brittany tells Santana. “Even before the fireworks have started.”

“I know it’s going to sound so lame, but I seriously dreamed about doing this since I was fifteen and realized it wasn’t going to be a boy I wanted to lay with.”

“I don’t think it’s lame. I mean, you haven’t even seen all the cheesy movies, and this is pretty much the kind of stuff everyone does in them. It just feels way better when it’s real, and not someone you fell in love with an hour after meeting them.”

“Unrealistic. I love you a lot, but an hour after meeting you, I’m pretty sure I was just thrilled I had someone to have ice cream with. I wasn’t thinking love...yet.”“Ice cream doesn’t make you fall in love, coffee does, obviously.”

“You’re going to tease me about that until the end of time, aren’t you?”

“Pretty much, because it’s my favorite. Most romantic way to tell someone you love them is when they’re exhausted and they bring you coffee.”

“Best way to show someone you love them back is to bring them coffee when they’re exhausted.”

“You work so hard, Santana. I’m constantly in awe of you.”

“Britt...”

“I am. It amazes me, the effort you put in. I can’t even imagine it, because as hard as I work, it doesn’t even compare. And you love every second of it.”

“I do, as much as it drains me sometimes, I know what I want from my life.”

“I wish I did. My dreams involved working at a chicken factory, so this is all new for me.”

“I know.” Santana squeezes Brittany’s hand and snuggles closer. “But I know you’ll figure it out. That’s what college is all about, right?”

“I guess so. I mean, I guess I’ll crack this hypothesis thing someday, so that’ll give me something to go with. It’s just a question of whether or not I want to do math for the rest of my life.”

“Because you love to dance?”

“I do. A lot. And I know I’d be wasting my brain, but maybe I want to do that.”

“You asked me awhile ago to take a dance class with you. Is that still something you want?”

“I don’t know...maybe?”

“I will, for you.”

“But you hate dancing in front of people.” Brittany protests a little. 

“I know, but if it gives you the opportunity to do something you love, I’m willing to do that.”

“Really?”

“Really. You always support all my dreams, I want to support yours too.”

“Even though I’m not sure what my dreams are?” She asks, as the fireworks begin overhead. 

“Especially because you’re not.”

[jesbakescookies]

Too Hot To Handle: Chapter Three

So I kinda wrote a different kind of fanfiction. It’s nothing as in depth as my other fics so I am going to post it here. ENJOY!!

             ***Actor, Real Person Fanfiction, Walking Dead RPF***

Featuring: Jeffrey Dean Morgan X Original Female Character, Norman Reedus and others..

Rating: Mature

CHAPTER THREE

Aria stood in her bathroom contemplating how on gods green earth she was going on a date with Jeffrey Dean Motherfucking Morgan? Shaking her head, she combed out her thick brunette hair and began braiding it over her shoulder. If they were riding she wanted her hair manageable yet styled. Sweeping her long bangs behind her ear, Aria applied the bare minimum of makeup and headed off to work. She would check in the new produce and instruct everyone for the evening and jet off on some kind of acid trip where a girl from a trailer park was seeing a movie star. 

  "What do you mean, you're off tonight?" Javier asked, his inked arms crossed and hip cocked. "You just got back from vacation."

"I have a... thing I gotta go to. You'll be fine. I have everything prepped and the soups are on. Desserts are setting in the fridge."

"This thing must be important to have you sucking up this bad. It's a date isn't it? Tell me who? Is it that blonde chef guy from Grotos that’s been sniffing around since open?"

"Fuck off Javie, it's none of your business." She grumbled, her hands sweating at the idea of someone finding out and pointing out how ridiculous it was. The hot bastard was going to spend five minutes with her and realize what a fucking mistake he was making. "I will call INS on your grandmother if you keep questioning me right now."

A barking laugh from the doorway had Aria’s cheeks burning brighter than ever before. Javier was gaping at the sight of Jeffrey leaning against the doorframe with crossed arms. He wore a pair of dark jeans and a leather jacket, his worn black t-shirt advertising a motorcycle club. It seemed that he couldn’t not look like sex on a stick. The man was impossibly good looking. 

"That is fucking cold doll."

"If you think that's bad, you should hear her when I actually fuck up." Javier commented, sticking his hand out. "Javier, better known as Ari's bitch."

"Okay. This has been great." Aria announced, grabbing her jacket. "And we're off. You be a good little bitch and make me money."

"Fuck doll!" Jeffrey guffawed, rocking back on his heels, his grin sparkling. Javier growled at her but it turned into a laugh. "Have fun boss lady. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t!"

Aria followed Jeffrey to his bike and watched as he slid on gracefully. Handing her a helmet, he helped buckle it below her chin. Holding a hand out to steady her to climb on, he smiled easily, "Come on darlin'. Let's have some fun."

Taking his hand, Aria slid behind him and wrapped her arms around his stomach. After strapping his own helmet on, he pulled out of the parking lot slowly. Taking care to warm her up to the ride, Aria squeezed his stomach as she became more comfortable. Acknowledging the signal, Jeffrey sped up and let her feel the real power below them. They rode through different parts of the city, over bridges and through tiny towns. Eventually the sun was setting and he headed towards a gathering of lights in the distance. As they pulled into a parking lot, their destination became clear. 

The county fair had started two weeks ago and featured not only rides and games but musical events and fireworks. Aria smiled widely as she removed her helmet.

"I haven't been to a fair since I was sixteen."

"Happy?"

"Very." She replied, smiling up at him before bouncing up on her toes to kiss his cheek. "Thank you."

Cupping her neck in a tantalizing way, he leaned down to kiss her temple and murmured, "You are most fucking welcome, beautiful."

Jeffrey couldn't stop glancing at the woman next to him. At her pink lips curled into a smirk and eyes bright like a kid's. She was quick witted and funny, a bit vulgar but not overly so. It didn't hurt she was as pretty as a picture. Her petite frame still had curves, hips and breasts that her chef coat hid remarkably well. In her skinny jeans and tight little sweater, Jeffrey couldn't stop touching her lower back or pulling her in close, under his arm. She was beautiful and he couldn't believe he was actually on a date with her. 

It wasn’t as though he hadn’t been with gorgeous women before. He knew that who he was allowed him options that most would kill for but he was older now. Jeffrey did the whole young hot model thing and had dated plenty of fellow actors. He wanted more now and the longer he spent with Aria, the more he realized what he wanted was an honest to goodness, real person. Someone who had her own life, her own dreams and goals. Someone as passionate for life as he was. Glancing at the little woman next to him smiling at the sight of a kid hopping up and down in excitement, Jeffrey began to think he might had found her. 

They strolled the fairgrounds, looking at booths and listening to the carnies try to draw them in. Jeffrey played a few, winning a stuffed alligator and ball cap that said, 'Senoia County Fair.'

"We found your hat." Aria commented with a wry grin, her arm stretching up to try and place it on his head. Smirking when he barely cocked his head, making it impossible for her short stature, he chortled when she pouted dramatically. Giving in, Jeffrey bowed his head slightly allowing her the victory.

"How tall are you anyways?" He asked, throwing his arm around her shoulder and curling her into his side. He could feel her curves against his ribs and hip, the sway of them making it difficult to hold back a groan. She was so fucking cute and sexy. 

"5' 2" and a half."

"That half does count." Jeffrey joked, winking at her playfully. 

"Pfft. You goddamn right it does." She quipped, with a grin. "How tall's Mr Beanstalk?"

Snorting, Jeffrey teased, "6' 2 and one quarter."

Laughing she gave him the stink eye and muttered, "Jackass."

Chuckling with her, he kissed the top of her head before asking, "Hungry?"

"Yes."

"Do you eat shitty fried food? Or are you a snob?"

"I eat for my mood. We're here enjoying the fair, I want a corn dog and eventually a funnel cake."

Smirking, he tipped his chin to the nearest food vendor. "There's our dogs. I think the funnel cake place was the other direction."

"Sounds good to me if it's good for you."

"I'm pretty sure you could ask for anything right now and I'd do it."

"Anything huh?" She quirked a brow, biting her lip teasingly. 

"You've got me wrapped around your little finger doll." He replied, flashing her a grin. "After seeing you shoot those targets, I don't think I wanna cross you."

Snorting Aria replied, "better not. I'll shoot a pellet in your ass."

His cheeks hurt from smiling at her but he couldn't help it. Aria was just too cute and funny to hold back. 

As they sat down to eat a few fans noticed him, asking for autographs and pictures. He made sure to check on Aria as he spoke to them, giving her apologetic eyes. She waved him off and smiled when a girl squealed after being given a hug.

After the crowd thinned and they headed off to check out the rides, Jeffrey drawled, "Sorry about that."

"About what?"

"Being stopped and asked for autographs and shit."

"One, it's kind of your job and to be expected. Two, it's not as though you ditched me for some fangirl."

"Thank you."

"For what?"

"Understanding."

"No worries, Jeff." She replied, leaning into his side as they strolled. "You can make it up to me by taking me on the ferris wheel."

"Sounds good to me."

The sun had long set but the fair grounds were lit spectacularly with strings of white lights and all the blinking bulbs on the many rides. The ferris wheel took them to the highest point on the grounds giving them a view of the surrounding area and the large corn maze.

"I bet you can see all the way to Franklin from here in the daylight." Aria commented, looking down at the crowd below. Jeffrey leaned back, his arm around her as they slowly clicked their way to the top. The wheel ground to a halt at the top, leaving them swaying slightly from the motion.

"Tell me it didn't break." She deadpanned, glancing at Jeffrey who smirked boyishly at her. "What'd you do?"

"Tipped the kid to stop us at the top."

"Oh yeah?" She spoke with a grin, turning to face him slightly. "Why’s that?"

"Because I've never kissed a girl on a ferris wheel before and I think tradition states it's gotta be at the top." He drawled, his voice husky and soft. 

"You've seen too many movies." Aria murmured, her cheeks heating as his hooded eyes watched her intently. 

Grinning, he stroked her cheek with a subtle brush of his thumb and rasped, "So you're saying you don't want to kiss a boy on a ferris wheel."

"A boy no... a man might be nice."

"Will I do?"

"I suppose I can make do."

Pulling Aria closer, he cupped her face and neck while gently kissing her. Slowly their movements turned desperate, Jeffrey nipping her lip and sucking it into his mouth. Aria’s tongue sliding against his had the man groaning deeply, his fingers curling into her hair and neck. She slid across the seat, only stopping from climbing into his lap by the ride’s safety bar. They barely registered the wheel lowering until they heard a wolf whistle from above them.

Laughing against her lips, Jeffrey murmured, "I think we gave them a show."

"I'm not sure if I care."

"I know I don't give a flying fuck." He growled, pulling her mouth to his for one more passionate kiss. 

  "You're an excellent kisser." He commented as they strolled towards the funnel cake stand, his fingers woven between hers. Smirking down at her, Jeffrey  licked the corner of his mouth and winked. 

"You are not so bad yourself." she muttered, her cheeks pink in the flickering fair lights. 

"Oh yeah?"

"Yep, very talented."

Jeffrey's cellphone chimed a few times making him sigh and apologize. Aria waved him off and ordered them food. Jeffrey's laugh had her cocking an eyebrow in question. 

"Just Norman giving me shit."

"About what?"

"Taking you out. He's a little pissed."

"Why did you guys have plans?"

"What? No.. no he uh..." Jeffrey trailed off and then muttered, "I don't know if I should tell you."

"Well, now I gotta know."

Sighing, he scratched his scruffy jaw and answered, "He's pissed because he wanted to ask you out."

Aria’s eyes couldn't have gotten wider if she tried. "Seriously?"

"Yeah now you can't fucking take off on me now that you know."

"Why would I take off?"

"Because, I don't know. Maybe you'd rather date that fucker."

"I'm here with you because I want to be."

"Still.."

"Still nothing. I know we just met but I'm pretty sure you can tell I don't do this often, or like ever. I’m here because I like you. And I'm having a good time."

"Do you like me more than him?"

"I don't know him." She replied with a shrug. "Tell him finder’s fucking keepers I guess."

Snorting loudly, he watched her bite into her funnel cake, powder sugar dusting her lips and shirt. Giggling she didn't even bother trying to stop it. "It's impossible to eat these daintily."

"You look adorable trying though."

Rolling her eyes she dared, "I'd like to see you not get it all over that beard."

Taking a bite, Jeffrey found out just how difficult it was to eat them not only cleanly but to look cool while doing it. Aria’s uncontrollable giggles were worth the embarrassment. 

Riding back to her place, Jeffrey took the long way back to enjoy her wrapped around him for just a while longer. He floored it on a straightaway to get her to squeal, the sound making his jeans tighten and grin grow. 

Her condo was near the restaurant, the small complex featuring less than a dozen units. Each had their own little patios and gardens, the tall fences giving them privacy from the close neighbors. Jeffrey pulled up to her driveway and turned the bike off. He wasn't sure if she'd invite him in but he was walking her to the door and getting a goodnight kiss. 

Pulling the helmet off, Aria handed it back with a smile. "I enjoyed that ride much more than the back of a crotch rocket."

"Understandable." He chuckled, setting the helmet down with his own. 

"Do you want to come in for a drink or coffee?"

"Absolutely." He replied with a pleased grin. "I was hoping you'd offer."

"Don't get any ideas, player." She commented over her shoulder with a smirk. 

"I have no clue what you're talking about."

"Mmmhmm." Aria replied, unlocking her door and disarming her security system. "I'm learning your smiles and that was a shit eating grin if I've ever seen one."

Barking out a laugh, Jeffrey grinned widely at her as she cocked a challenging eyebrow. He licked his bottom lip before biting it while looking her over in amusement. 

She was calling him on his bullshit and he was fucking loving it. Leaning a broad shoulder against the doorway leading to the kitchen, he gave her a wink and drawled, "you uh.. are perceptive as fuck aren't you doll?"

"I would classify myself as an excellent bullshit detector. " she quipped, kicking off her shoes and padding towards the kitchen in polka dot socks. Blocking the doorway with a long arm, Jeffrey rasped, "What's the password?"

Biting her lip, Aria peered up at him, the woman even shorter without shoes. He was quite frequently taller than most but he was practically looming over the poor girl. Tilting her head at such an angle it looked painful. Altering his stance, he slouched against the doorframe and smirked when she seemed relieved.

"I live here. I have free reign." She retorted, quirking a brow. "I should be asking you for the password."

"Oh yeah?" he rasped, scratching his eyebrow in thought. 

"Yep." She popped her lips.

Jeffrey leaned in closer, his nose almost touching hers and spoke low and gravelly, "Can I bribe you instead?"

He heard her breath catch and couldn't help but let a smug smile curl his lips. Brushing her bottom lip with his, he felt his own lungs hitch when she replied, "Only if it has something to do with your fucking mouth."

Pressing his lips against hers, Jeffrey cupped her cheeks and jaw. He was a giant holding her between his rough paws. Aria was so damn petite he felt as if he had to be extra gentle. The little brunette was having none of it though, her hands burying into his hair and pulling him harder against her mouth. Groaning deeply as he pressed her body into the wall. Jeffrey felt every inch of her stretched out below him. The curve of her heaving breasts and the heat of her core pressed against his thigh had the man growling with need. 

"Feel so fucking good." He grunted, his hand holding her hip tightly while grinding against her. Aria’s hands curled into his shoulders as he picked her up by the thighs. Laughing, she peered down at him as he kept her wrapped around his waist bringing her to his eye level. 

"That's better." He murmured against her soft pale neck. Aria moaned as he kissed and sucked his way down.

"Fuck Jeff." She moaned as he nipped her collarbone.

"Yeah." He groaned, rolling his hips into her spread thighs. "Fuck, say my name again, sweetheart."

"Jeff." She gasped as his hands squeezed her ass while rutting into her. "Fucking hell."

"Yeah. I like you moaning that." He grunted, kissing her deeply and thoroughly. Pulling back after a few desperate minutes, Jeffrey rasped, "We should slow down."

"Do you want too? Or are you being gentleman-like." She asked breathlessly. 

"Little of both." He replied, placing his forehead against hers as he panted, he stared into her vibrant eyes. "I like you. I wanna know more about you, so I don't wanna rush shit but I would also like to tear your fucking clothes off right now."

Smirking, Aria kissed his nose playfully and replied, "I like the idea of knowing each other better. I haven't done this in a very long time and prefer it to be more than fucking as much as I'd like to. Right now. Against this wall."

"Fuuuuuck. Doll. How in holy hell can you tell me something like that?" He groaned, kissing her neck and breathed in her ear. "You're fucking naughty."

Laughing, she replied, "How about I get you that drink?"

Setting her down on her feet, Jeffrey tucked loose hair behind her ear.

"Would coffee be too much trouble? I have a long night ahead of me."

"No trouble but what's going?"

"I've got to get back up to Atlanta for a 5am flight. I have to go to a con in LA."

Playfully smacking his shoulder, she exclaimed, "Jeff! Why didn't you say you needed to leave early? We could've rescheduled."

"I didn't want to wait another week to take you out." He replied with a shrug. "I would've taken you out the night I asked you, if you'd have offered."

"I don't get it." She commented while filling the coffee machine with water.

"Don't get what?"

"Why are you so interested in me?"

"The hell? Why wouldn't I be? You're driven, passionate, intelligent and funny. Not even touching on the fact that you're a sexy little knockout." Jeffrey rasped, flashing her a bright smile. 

The grin widened when she blushed, her shy eyes focusing on the coffee grounds she was scooping.

"You don't see what everyone else sees." He added, rubbing his chin in thought as he sat down at her kitchen table. "Is that a girl thing? Not seeing what amazing fucking people you are."

"I can't speak for anyone else but I know I don't see myself from the outside. I see all the nitty gritty, the up close and personal. The failures, the fuck ups. Objectively, I suppose I see my success as a chef and I know I'm not fugly or anything but I think I'm too close to the subject."

Pulling her towards him, Aria stood between his spread legs. Holding her hips, his thumbs brushing across her waistband, Jeffrey was almost eyes level with the short woman.

"You're amazing and goddamn stunning." He spoke with a firmness that made her lose her argument, a tingling flush reaching every inch of her body. 

"Thank you."she spoke through a shy smirk. 

"You're very fucking welcome." 

Find Chapter Four here: http://jesbakescookies.tumblr.com/post/162099539921/too-hot-to-handle-chapter-four

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[annamaetion]

Mission: Murphy Chapter 3

Mission: Murphy Chapter 3 Cavendish and Dakota had managed to pinpoint the temporal interface point. More by trial and error than anything. After a few hours, of what would be considered stalking under normal circumstances, they were hot on the trail. Brick and Savannah had prevented him from meeting his future wife, but not without incident. Seems like Murphy's Law could effect even seasoned agents. Lord only knew where that run-away grand piano had come from, but it was quite hilarious to see Brick being clipped by it; having only just dodged the brunt of it. Savannah had to deal with a busted high-heel shoe that nearly caused her to fall onto the pavement. Not to mention the inexplicable swarm of woodpeckers. Cavendish silently observed from his vantage point of their, now disguised-to-period time vehicle, Dakota having fallen asleep in the passenger seat. A part of Cavendish wanted to be mad at his partner for falling asleep on a stakeout, but they had been at it for a while. Cavendish checked his pocket watch, they'd spent a good few hours just figuring out where Brick and Savannah had interceded in the past. He sighed deeply, then another few hours examining exactly what had been done in order to determine the best corse of action to undo Brick and Savannah's manipulation s... Though he worried that if the Murphy's didn't meet under the circumstances they were supposed to, Murphy's Law would cause any re-staged meeting to fail. Beside him, Dakota shifted in his sleep- his stomach giving out an audible grumble. Cavendish shot a guilty look at Dakota... they hadn't eaten since lunch, and they'd only really had those pigs-in-the-blankets. Cavendish knew how Dakota got about food, and had long since got used to that about him. He was actually a little surprised Dakota hadn't mentioned being hungry before. Cavendish raised his binoculars back to his eyes; Ha! There was Brick and Savannah's very conspicuous time limo... they hadn't even disguised it for the time period. Cavendish huffed out a frustrated breath. Seems like they were hypocrites to mention Dakota and his 'period-inaccurate attire'. Typical of them to think the rules didn't apply to them as long as it suited their egos. Brick and Savannah left in their limo, contented that they'd finished their mission. Cavendish smirked, "So... now we've got a precise time." He clocked the time and place into the temporal displacer. "Wake up Dakota, we've got the relevant coordinates-" Dakota snorted awake, "I'm up, I'm up, just resting my eyes!" Cavendish rolled his eyes fondly, "We should get something to eat before we set out to right what has been wronged." Cavendish made a show of checking his pocket watch, "We've not eaten a thing since lunch after all." "Oh, good idea! I vote we get corn dogs, I know of this great place that we can go to that has them really fresh." Same old reliable Dakota, Cavendish thought fondly. Out loud he said, "Haven't we already had hotdogs today?" "We had pigs-in-a-blanket, which are only like— the party-appetizer version of corn dogs." Dakota argued, "why, what'd you want to get?" "I- I hadn't really thought of anything if I'm honest... I suppose that it wouldn't kill me to neglect the food pyramid just this once." "Alright!" Dakota cheered, "Ok, off to the worlds fair, turn of the century!" Cavendish smiled, "Oh, I love the worlds fair! There really isn't a better place to get funnel cake." "Yes, that's what I'm talking about!" Dakota cheered, pumping his fists in victory. "Dinner and desert, then we're gonna put Brick and Savannah in their place." "Yes, hopefully all will go as planned. Murphy's Law being what it is..." "Somehow, I think Murphy's Law might just be on our side for once." -END CHAPTER 3-

[babbletop]

Here's a list of the Top 10 Best Stadium Foods in America. everyone loves to eat and drink while watching sports, these are the top 10 best foods you can get a sporting event! ➡️ Subscribe to BabbleTop: https://bit.ly/2Uu3HPe Stadiums are not only known for hosting sporting events and concerts, they’re also a fertile breeding ground for cutting edge fast food ideas. Chicken wings, pizza, and nachos were once the top choices when it came to stadium cuisine. But in recent years, there’s been a subtle shift away from the cut and dry. As the most popular thunder domes have shown, there are many ways to pull hard earned cash from the sports watching crowds than just ticket sales. It’s time to get in line for the top 10 best stadium foods in America. If you enjoyed this list of top 10 beast stadium foods in America, then comment: #JunkFood #Snacks #Top10 TIMESTAMPS: 0:33 Sweet Stuff in Buffalo and Detroit 1:39 Jaguars Jambalaya 2:49 Houston Texans Battle Red Tacos 3:55 The Pinstripe Shake at Yankee Stadium 4:52 TD Concessions Very Vegan Tacos 5:48 The Midway Monster at Soldier Field  6:52 Pit Bull in Washington 7:57 Different Burgers in California and Arizona 9:29 DMV Super Burrito 10:22 The Best Seafood Stadium Foods SUMMARIES: - Killing the crowd with sugar is the main idea when taking in a game at Buffalo's New Era Field. That's why it offers the fearsome deep-fried peanut butter & jelly, funnel cakes, apple pies, and corn dogs. For the sweet-tooth in the crowd, these fast food ideas are certainly a stroke of genius. - A long time ago, the main reason large crowds would gather in a stadium was to see gladiators spill blood for sport. Nowadays, we still have blood sports like kickboxing, boxing, and MMA. - NRG Stadium will never be the same since the Houston Texans' introduction of the Battle Red Tacos. Tradition is thrown out the window and taste buds come alive with these tacos that fans just can’t get enough of. - When you hear pinstripes the first thing that comes to most peoples minds are the New York Yankees, or I guess a nice tailored suit if you’re not into baseball. Anyways, Ruth, DiMaggio, Jackson, Jeter, the names are as legendary as the franchise itself and this high-end milkshake is trying to live up to its name. - Tired of burgers and hot dogs and looking for something different to munch on during the game? Then try Levy Restaurant's Very Vegan Tacos for a change, available at TD Place home to the Ottawa Redblacks of the Canadian Football League. - Leave it to the fine people of Chicago to come up with a way of turning the common hot dog into a monster of a hot dog. This relatively new addition to the Soldier Field concessions has quickly become a crowd favorite. - While Soldier Field has stacked everything high on top of their hot dog, kudos to the Washington Redskins for taking the lowly hot dog and reinventing it into a foot-long incarnation. - Yes, there's light at the end of the stadium fast food tunnel after you've tasted the best hot dog that life has to offer. For starters, there's the famed TsUNAmi Burger at Dignity Health Sports Park, formerly the StubHub Center on the campus of California State University. - Washington's FedExField should be credited for thinking outside the box when it comes to reinventing stadium fast food. Where do they get all these crazy ideas? First, a hot dog to end all hot dogs. - Healthy tacos, burritos, burgers, hot dogs, and sweet stuff: these are definitely the new peanuts and Cracker Jack of the stadium going, crowd. For those who can't be bothered with the mundane when it comes to their sporting event chow, pizza and chicken wings are definitely out at this point. ➡️ SUBSCRIBE to BabbleTop! https://bit.ly/2Uu3HPe 🥳 JOIN and become a BabbleTop member! https://bit.ly/2DCl21k 👕 Check out our MERCH! http://bit.ly/2SWDkQM 🔥 Our Most Popular VIDEOS! http://bit.ly/2T02a24 10 McDonalds Packaging That You'll Never See Again http://bit.ly/2KrbgEm Top 10 Untold Truths of Jell-O http://bit.ly/2KsMUu8 10 Foods America Will NEVER See Again http://bit.ly/2KuONpW 10 McDonald's Happy Meal Secrets That Kids Can't Find Out http://bit.ly/2Kv7H03 10 Coca-Cola Life Hacks That Will Make You Buy More http://bit.ly/2KqYu97 10 Hilarious Knock Off Fast Food Chains Only In China http://bit.ly/2KoCDPA Top 10 Fast Foods You Can Get For Free On Your Birthday http://bit.ly/2KA9px0 10 Times Fast Food Went Too Far (Part 3) http://bit.ly/2KuxeX8 10 Food Mashups That Will Blow Your Mind http://bit.ly/2Kv9qme 10 KFC Food Items You Can't Get In America http://bit.ly/2KvbElo Top 10 Most Popular Secret Menu Fast Food Items http://bit.ly/2Kzm17X Top 10 Untold Truths of Benihana http://bit.ly/2KzmrLz Top 10 Untold Truths of Kool-Aid http://bit.ly/2Vnrq3s All clips used for fair use commentary, criticism, and educational purposes. See Hosseinzadeh v. Klein, 276 F.Supp.3d 34 (S.D.N.Y. 2017); Equals Three, LLC v. Jukin Media, Inc., 139 F. Supp. 3d 1094 (C.D. Cal. 2015).