#i would never forget ofc 🤍

[angelsbless]

I absolutely love your mashle content! Could you do orter x readers headcanons? 🥺

Yes yes ofc sorry i made you wait i'm busy with my exams. Here you go hon i hope you like it 🤍.

Note : I love him sm ah, i'll do part two about the dating headcanons i couldn't help myself i wanted to write this ahhh i hope you don't mind mwah!

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Orter madl x reader (hcs)

Orter will most likely deny his feelings and try to ignore them but deep down in him he knows it.

You were the type of person who's his complete opposite, you were radiant like sunshine and you didn't mind breaking rules or putting others before yourself.

He was so mad at the fact that someone like you is a competent mage and a really great one, so he started observing you more waiting for you to only mistake once so he could lecture you about law and feel like winning.

But as time went by, he started to be captivated by your actions and the whole YOU. Because of his strictness he never really paid attention to many things, yet while observing you h learnt many things that he almost forgot about.

He'll watch you smile brightly from distance and feel something tucking his heart but will try to ignore it. Until you two met at the library one day and it happened that you were searching for the same book, so you smiled at him as you guys were speaking about the book.

HE BLUSHED yet he smiled without realizing it! You were stunned. Orter madl is SMILING? Also BLUSHING?

After a few discussions, Orter was searching for you in the library only to find you talking to a student, he didn't think about it, he just took your hand and pulled you close." you're mine" he said and you just chuckled at the situation and at his red ears and asked "why, do you love me?", "i you mean the annoyance and discomfort i feel when you're not around, yes i do, i love you"

You smiled at his confession and teased him a bit ( he was regretting his life choices) then confessed back ( man was so happy) which made him smile, a really soft and beautiful one, that you'll never forget.

You smiled back at him, he was mesmerized by it, he never thought he would be this happy, and never thought he would try to change his perspective for someone. BUT HE'S DOING SO!

PART 2 DATING HCS SOON <3

[tiredmamaissy]

Ralak te Sepwan ieyk’itan: Chapter Three

An Illustrated Collaboration with @zestys-stuff

Masterlist ; Rut/Heat/Knotting Info

🔞 minors, do not interact 🔞

Hyperlinks are attached to specific paragraphs that when clicked on will lead you to its illustration by Ralak's creator @zestys-stuff.

Characters: Metkayina!Ralak (24) x Sully!Omaticaya!Reader (19)

Warnings: nsfw, smut, fluff, angst, ptsd/ flashbacks, profanity, age gap, sexual tension, size difference/kink, praise kink, jealousy, scenting, fingering, recollection of non-con trauma (for the plot), alcohol consumption/drunk character, let me know if i forgot anything?

Word Count: 6.3k

Requested: Yes || No

Author’s Note: Sorry this one took a while, been a hell of a week. It's got a lot of angst, so prep yourselves guysss. Ends with smut, ofc. I hope you guys enjoy 🤍

Synopsis: Your family seeks uturu with the Metkayina in the village of Awa’atlu. You have a difficult time adjusting, and are assigned your own special teacher, Ralak.

<- Previous Next ->

���Y/n. For the love of Christ, you better tell me that the storm held ya up last night.” Jakes voice rings in your ear, waking you up.

Oh shit.

You look to your left to see the first rays of sunlight shining on Ralak’s sleeping, naked body, chest heaving slowly from his unfaltering breaths. Perched on his side, his face sits in his palm, as if he’s fallen asleep partially sitting up. Two fingers still nestled inside you, his facial muscles are slightly tensed, like he’s ready wake up any minute and tend to your every need, just like he’s been doing all night long. 

“Get your ass home. Now.” Jakes irate voice brings you back to reality.

Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit.

What were you going to tell Jake? That the storm did keep you up? He’d never believe that. Not for a second. Either way, if you didn’t go now, this man would skin the love of your life. Unmated, in his bed, all before your second iknimaya? He’d try, at least.

“Sst-ah.” you let out a shaky breath, grimacing as you pull his fingers out of you. They’re covered in your cum, so much so that a thick string of slick connects you to his fingers when you pull your pelvis away. You scramble to your feet, wiping yourself up with the already damp cloth next to his bed.

I’ll be back, my love. You think, looking over at him one last time before rushing out of his marui.

On your way to the cave, you try to assess your state. It’s hard to tell, given the fact that your heart is pounding at a speed only an ikran could attain. Anxiety streams through your veins, but otherwise, you feel fairly normal. Maybe a little bit like you did after your first iknimaya, when you passed your dream hunt and had one too many glow worms. But nothing unmanageable.

Guess it’s over.

Finally arriving at the cave, frantic eyes search the body of water for your loincloth. It’s floating at the far end of the lake, so you dive in. As you’re swimming, you catch a whiff of your own scent, mixed with Ralak’s. You bring your arm to your nose and take a deep breath. “Fuck.” you curse under your breath, submerging your entire body in the water, trying to bathe his scent off you.

You knew you scented each other, but you didn’t know that it would linger this long. You scrub your body, paying extra attention to your chest and neck. Time is going faster than you can move. But it’s like the more you scrub, the more you rub it into your skin – into your essence.

“Forget this.” you huff, grabbing your loincloth and swimming back to sand. You wring it out, slip inside and tie the knot hastily. One last look back on his marui pod, and you’re gone like the wind – quick and silent.

The trek back home is nerve-wracking, you feel so uneasy that you could feel something in your throat. A lump. You swallow repeatedly, trying to get rid of it, but it grows a little bigger for every step you take. By the time you’re at your marui door, you feel like you can’t breathe.

Neteyam smells you first, wreaking of a male na’vi, nose scrunching at the odour. He huffs a harsh breath through his nostrils, attempting to rid the lingering scent from of his lungs. He examines your condition – clammy skin with little colour left in it. Eyes trailing up to your face, he could see the fear written all over it, along with something else. Something like –

“Jesus, what the hell were you thinking?!” Jake hisses through clenched teeth.

“D-dad. I-I can explain.” you stutter, throat so tight you can barely speak.

Jake pulls his head back, eyelids blinking furiously. It’s as if the scent quite literally hit him, square in the jaw. With his suspicions confirmed, his lips stretch into a thin line, his go to expression of disapproval. The type that makes your ears lay flat against your skull, and bottom lip jut out.

“I can smell him on you.” Jake brushes past you. “Stay with your brother.”

“Dad, please.” your voice is strained, fighting against the lump in your throat. “Where are you going?”

He stops dead in his tracks, back still turned to you, a hand flying up to his face to pinch the bridge of his nose. “To Tonowari, kid. Tsireya will teach you from now on.” He heaves a heavy sigh and walks away.

The anxiety quickly morphs into anger, bubbling in your veins and sizzling your skin. Your short fuse blows. How could he take this away from you? You weren’t a ‘kid’ anymore. You had passed your iknimaya back home, and you’re on the brink of passing it here, too. Despite that, he always treats you like this, like the late bloomer you are. He didn’t even care to know what really happened.

“Not a fucking kid!” you shout after him, only for him to shake his head and continue walking.

“Sis.” Neteyam mutters, gently guiding you into the marui pod by your arm.

You shrug him off, storming past him to dive into your bed, burying your face into your pillow – damp from last night’s tears. It only becomes wetter as your fresh tears stream down your face. You couldn’t help it, you cried whenever you felt overwhelmed with anything. Sadness. Happiness. Anger. Frustration.

The sound of your privacy curtain being drawn back snaps your head up from your pillow. It’s Neteyam, standing over you with a face of concern, a bowl of steamed fish in one hand and a cup of water in the other. He sighs quietly, crouching down to come eye to eye with you. “You were in heat, weren’t you?” He states, already knowing the answer. “You should eat and drink something.” He places the bowl and cup on the floor next to you.

You sit up, supporting your torso with your arms behind your back. Neteyam. The older, caring bother, always looking out for everyone but himself. Of course, he would be the one to care enough to find out what you’ve been through the past day. “Yup. Late bloomer finally got her heat.” you speak of yourself harshly, taking the cup of water and chugging it.

“You smell gross.” he chuckles breathily, nudging the bowl of fish closer to you.

“Thanks, big brother. Appreciate it.” you giggle between cries, nudging it back to him. “Not hungry.”

His arms rest on his knees, braids swaying in his face as he looks behind him before dropping his head. “Agh.” he lifts his head, staring at you for a few seconds, as if he were contemplating something. “You should not have done that. Not before your iknimaya.”

“I didn’t! Nothing... like that happened, Tey. Ralak isn’t like that.” your head hangs low as you utter the words. “He’s... a gentle giant.”

Neteyam scoffs, straightening his spine. “Gentle giant? He looks like he eats na’vi for breakfast.”

“Hey –” you sniffle, glaring up at him, “I like him, Tey. A lot. He’s good for me.”

Neteyam’s features soften. As if hearing your words plucked a string of sympathy in his heart. As much as he wants to help you, he can’t. Not with a direct order from his father. He shakes his head, eyes closed, and brows furrowed.

That’s his way of saying, ‘Sorry. Can’t’.

You sigh, bringing your knees to your chest to hide your face. You can smell Ralak’s scent now that your nose is near your thighs. It fills your lungs with every breath you take. His pheromones. His aphrodisiac. His arousal. He left it all on you, rubbed into your skin so deep it seems to have altered your own scent.

Is this what scenting does?  

Soon you’re breathing heavily, trying to savour what left you have of him – of last night. It makes you heavy in the head, like all the strength has left your body. You feel your face warm up, the heat spreading to the tips of your ears. You’re tired. Defeated.

“Neteyam! Neteyam!” Lo’ak’s faint voice sounds frantic.

You hear Neteyam shuffling to his feet to go and check what his brother is on about. “Stay here, got it?”

“Mhm.” you hum, too tired to even lift your head.

The sound of Lo’ak yanking back your privacy curtain makes you jump out of your skin, nearly knocking over the bowl of steamed fish. You stare up at him wide eyed, to see him motioning over to the door of your marui. Your brows kiss in confusion, unsure of what’s going on.

“Heard you were in... hea-a situation. Just gonna borrow big bro for a second, cool?” he raises his brows, nudging his head towards the door in an emphasized manner.

A smile pulls at your lips once you realize what he’s doing for you. You wipe your puffy eyes with the back of your hand and shuffle to your feet. “I owe you, Lo’.”

Ralak’s POV

Ralak rouses to an empty bed. He sits up quickly, scanning his marui for any sign of you. Nothing. The only thing that remains is your potent scent flooding the room. The only proof that you were ever here. “Oh, y/n.” he groans, head slumping into his hands.

You were gone. Gone like you were never here to begin with. Taking a moment to gather his thoughts, he tried not to assume the worst. But what if – what if it was the worst? To be used and discarded like an object. All over again. Surely, there’s no way that you would do this to him, not after opening-up to you like that. Not after last night. Not after the words you uttered to one another before going to sleep –

‘I love you’.

But why does it feel the same? The same as that day. The day he was in a marui pod like this one, young, bare skinned and short haired, kneeling before his own karyu. His chest tightens, the walls of his throat closing in on one another. He can feel it creeping up his spine. The flashbacks. The tremors. The nausea. Rushing to his feet, he makes his way over to the shelf well-stocked with bottles of ‘fermented fruit’ – pxir [beer; alcohol].

A poison to many, but an antidote to him.

Dust had settled on the bottles since the last day he reached for them. The day you became his tanhì. That’s why he had never brought you up here, he never wanted you to see the truth. The way he copes with his emotions – bottling them up and then chugging it down when they became just too much.

The bottle opens with a pop, strong, bitter scent wafting up his nose, replacing the scent of you in his lungs. He takes a quick swig, baring his teeth from the sting of it trickling down his throat. “Ahh.” He sighs a breath of relief, feeling the alcohol already taking effect, loosening his chest, and clearing his throat.  

Yet he can still feel the shiver of his spine, and the churn of his stomach.

“Shit.” he curses, taking another swig. Cursing himself for trusting another after he made the vow to never trust again. Another swig. For facing the part of him that he’s denied since he came into adulthood. Another swig. For letting someone in. Another swig. For allowing himself to love you.

Alas, a clear mind and body – rid of the memories of his past.

He readies himself for his bath, something he often did to relax. Just like he did last time you left him.

----

Time is of the essence. With no idea of when Jake will be back, you move quickly. You weave through the webbing of the mangrove roots, ducking and dodging those that jut out. You take a short cut, bouncing over the netting of a cluster of marui pods on the way to Ralak’s.

Eyes guardedly stuck to your feet, you bump into Ka’ani, the man who replaced Ralak’s role as fisherman – faceplanting into his bare chest. Arms instinctively wrapping around you, he holds you close until you regain your balance. Admittedly, he’s a little too close for comfort, his face nestled in the crown of your head. You hear quick, nasally breaths, muffled by your hair.

Is he... sniffing me right now?

You shove him off you, probably a little too rough to be considered friendly, and take a few steps back. “Sorry, Ka’ani.” you mutter, gingerly walking around him.

“No problem, at all.” he smirks, raising his hands and making space for you to leave.   

With a quick shake of your head, you continue making your way to Ralak. The closer you get, the more a giddy smile spreads across your face. Though you were the bearer of bad news, you can’t ignore the flutters in your stomach. The same flutters you had when you first laid eyes on him – the day Eywa herself told you he’s the one.

Your mate.

Your legs move faster, as fast as they can go, until the sand slackens your steps. Silky, fine sand – always the first thing to let you know that you’ve arrived. You can’t help the excitement bubbling from your tummy and up your throat. “Ralak!” you blurt out, eager to find your love.

A tall figure in the distance catches your eye, it looks as if he were going into the cave. You wave your hands above your head, shouting his name as you lope towards him. “Ralak!”

The figure stops, turning around to acknowledge your calls. He stands still for a minute, before walking towards you with a stagger in his step. Tail perking up instantaneously, your hand flies to your bare hip, searching for your medicine pouch. You’re running on the tips of your toes again, concern and worry replacing the flutters low in your belly.

“Wha-t is it?” you shout, voice wavering as you close the distance between your bodies.

You crash into him with a smack, making the typically sturdy giant wobble. Now your ears art alert, perturbed by his odd behaviour. Gently pushing you away, his large hands grip your upper arms, fingertips touching once another. Blue, hazed orbs peer down at you, extra glossy and lidded.

“Are you sick? Wounded?” you question, resisting his gentle pushes to search his body. 

Nostrils flickering above his pursed lips, he leans into your neck. He pulls back with a huff, blowing hot air through his nose, onto your face. Your eyelashes flutter, face of concern quickly morphing into one of confusion.

Everyone is sniffing me today.

Head snapping to the left, his eyes search the webs of the mangrove roots off in the distance. A guttural growl rumbles deep in Ralak’s chest, thinned lips curling over his canines, flashing them before your eyes. You watch in awe as his brows lower, knotting together to turn his eyes beady. Ears flat against his skull, the scent of another na’vi scrunches his nose.

That’s a new look.

“Ralak.” your voice is breathy and small – laced with fright.

His growl grows louder, coming from the pit of his stomach, deep and powerful. Lengthy fingers tightening around your arms, he spins you around and tucks you behind him in one swift move. His name slips off your tongue once more, quick, and unsure. He has one hand perched on the dip of your waist, holding you close behind this towering frame.

“Come out.” he growls gruffly, straightening his spine to present at his full height.

The two words double-knot your stomach, sending you wiggling into the sink of his back, face peeking through the crack of his arm and side. Your eyes flicker from side to side, looking for whatever – whoever he’s talking to. Meanwhile, your fingers grip the band on his loincloth, the only thing available on his body to hold.

Silence.

“Or I make you.” He rasps the warning through his four, pointed fangs.

Perhaps if Ralak wasn’t here the knots in your belly would have tightened by now, to the point where you would feel queasy. But the hiss fizzling from the back of his throat puts your nerves at ease – your body sensing its safety in his presence.

Out comes a brawny, wide na’vi, from behind the large, thick roots of the mangroves. His hands are splayed out, representing something of caution. No – surrender. He approaches Ralak slowly. Warily.

“Sorry, brother. I did not know she was yours.” Ka’ani says impishly.

Jaw snapping open, his hiss comes out full force. It’s loud and thick, almost grating. Much like a roar. Though you knew it wasn’t for you, it shook you up, tugging at the string in your grip as your body jolts forward into his.

“She belongs to no one.” His top lip twitches as he spits the vile words, stinging your heart in the process. Am I not his? What about last night? You think, tightening your grip on the band of his loincloth.

“It looks as if she belongs to you, Tak.” Ka’ani leans to the left, chin jutting out as he tries to catch a glimpse of you. “Look at her, holding on to your –”

“Lewng! [shame]. Tracking her scent.” Ralak hisses, turning his body to hide you from his predatory eyes. “Leave.”

“Ah. Come on now, brot-” He spreads his arms wide, walking around Ralak towards you.

Ralak takes a step forward on his last word, nearly coming chest to chest with the shorter na’vi. A moment of silence passes between the two, as Ralak stares him down with vengeance in his eyes. A hand flies up to his hip, gripping the knife sheathed in its casing. “Now.”

Ka’ani straightens his back, eyes flickering between Ralak and yours that peek from behind him. His hands retract, hovering either side of his head as he retreats. Ralak maintains his position, with a hand keeping you tucked away whilst the other rests on his hip. Once Ka’ani’s figure is no longer visible, Ralak sighs, and turns his heel to make his way back to his much-needed bath.

“Thanks...” you huff, walking close behind him.

“You women and your heats.” he mutters as he walks faster, ripping his loincloth out of your grip.

“Ex-cuse me?” your words bounce as you try to keep up with him. “You have no –”

“Do you understand what would have happened had I not been here? Do not be so reckless.” He tsks, as his feet come to a halt, balling his hands into fists.

“Reckless? All I did was walk here!” you shout, almost bumping into him again.

“Because you left to begin with.” he whispers through clenched teeth.

“What?” the question is breathy, hands perching on your knees to rest.

He turns around quickly, prompting you to stand at full height. Breathing heavily, he presses his warm body against yours, chin tucked into his chest to peer down at you. Instinctively, you perch on the tips of your toes, eyes lidded in anticipation of a kiss. Instead, he brings your wrists up to his nose, heated lips pressing against your supple skin.

“He scented you.” he mumbles quickly, lips pulling into a thin line before letting go and backing away.  

“Why? How? I only bumped into him.” you walk towards him, watching him turn his heel again. “Hey –” you reach out for his arm to pull him back around.

First you leave him this morning, then come back scented by another na’vi. He shrugs you off, hands now fiddling with the knot above the base of his tail as he nears the entrance of the cave. The knot of his loincloth comes undone, heavy, sheathed hunting knife silently making impact with the sand.

“Because he wants everything that’s mine.”

So, I am his. You think, one corner of your mouth curling upwards into a smirk.

“Oh, Ralak.” You stand at the cave’s opening, waiting in silence for a response.

He continues to keep his back turned to you, dips of his clenched glutes on full display. Despite last night, seeing him naked still makes you shy, cheeks turning red and hot from the blood that rushes to them. You watch him hastily put his hair in a sloppy bun as he submerges himself in the water.

“I need to speak with you about this morning” you mumble, eyes locked onto the ripple of his back muscles.

“No need. I understand.” he answers lowly, shimmying over to the bottle of fermented fruit propped on a rock in the cave.

“Understand what? It’s about –”

“You made a mistake. It was your heat. It is fine.” he mutters quickly, taking a swig at the last word.

A mistake? My heat?

The realization hits you, hard. You’d been so out of it, so delirious from your heat you hadn’t given a second thought about his confession. His trauma that he confided in you, in this very cave. It’s like stones in your heart – no, boulders. Weighing it down so heavily that it feels like there’s a pulse in your stomach.

How could you be so cruel? So thoughtless? So insensitive? To not even wake him and utter the words to his face. To allow him to wake up to an empty bed after letting down his walls and being so vulnerable to you. To be so caught up in your own head you couldn’t even bat an eye at the man who helped you through your first heat.

“Oh. Oh, Lak. No. No, it’s nothing like that.” you sputter out a trembling voice, sliding into the water to rush over to him. You rest your hand on his upper back, taking in the warmth of his skin. He feels feverish – hot to the touch.

What is he drinking?

You rub his back gently, bioluminescent freckles dancing from your caresses. Yet, he’s rigid. Cold. Distant. He’s not the Ralak you know, swaying side to side as he brings the lip of the bottle to his mouth.

“Stop, my love.” you coo, sliding your hand up his raised arm as you walk around him.  Pulling the bottle away from his lips, you cautiously place the pxir on a nearby ledge. “Ralak.” you whisper, staring up at him with worried eyes.

The sound of his name falling from your lips tilts his head back ever so slightly, like it pained him to even look at you. Curly, loose stands of hair frame his face, accentuating his angular features. He attempts to fix his mask of indifference to his face, but you can see through it. You see the anguish glossed over his lidded, inebriated eyes.

Ocean blue eyes.  

tw: flashback

His mind is elsewhere, dissociating back to the day of the incident. The night of his iknimaya celebration, where his own karyu cornered him in his family marui, engulfing him with her pheromones. Manipulating him with her heat to take care of her. To touch her.

He can hear the waves crashing into the shore, the pitter-patter of the rain on the roof of the marui, the roll of the thunder – her whispers in his ear, ‘I’ve been waiting too long for this. You are officially a man now. Make your karyu feel better, right here...’.

The smell of her pheromones is suffocating, more potent than any fermented fruit he’s ever had. It frightened him, feeling like he had no self-control. No way to stop his movements, no matter how much he screamed at his body to move, run – anything.

It is what made him vow to never lose control of himself. His composure.

He can feel the heaviness of his body. The lethargy. The way his lungs refused to fill, no matter how hard he tried to breathe. When he woke, he was alone, sitting in the corner in a pool of his own sweat, curled in on himself. His karyu left, to never return. Leaving nothing but the lingering smell of her heated scent behind. 

tw: end of flashback

“My karyu” you hum softly, placing his hand on your chest.

When you first called him that, he almost grimaced. But as time passed, you made the word bearable. You gave it a new meaning, a new feeling. Eventually filling him with eagerness to hear it fall from your flushed lips. In tones of excitement, frustration... pleasure.

You hold his thumb, and give it a squeeze, trying to bring him back from wherever he is. Your heart weighed even heavier, seeing him drift away and detach when he’s right in front of you. “I’m not going anywhere. I’m right here. Feel me. Feel my heartbeat. Focus on it and come back to me.”

The words echo in his skull, reverberating between the thick bone. He can hear you, feel you. With each thump of your heart, the heaviness of his body lifts, the scent of her fades, the pitter-patter of the storm subdues until nothing, but that thump can be heard. His eyes finally flicker down to yours, ears and brows twitching at the pulse of your heart.

Only a bottle could do that for him. Bring him back. Yet, you did it with the mere sound of your heart.

“I’m sorry, Lak. I’m so sorry. I’m sorry I was so thoughtless. I’m sorry... that happened to you.” the words are shaky, flowing over your quivering bottom lip. “I would never. Ever. Ever. Ever –” you blubber, shaking your head, “Ever, do that to you. I-I had to leave because of my father. He’s punishing me. Forbidding me from seeing you. Having Tsireya teach me instead. I should have woken you.”

Another arm snakes around his waist, bringing him in closer to you. You slump your head into his chest, letting the tears flow and stain his skin. “I don’t regret a thing. I meant everything I said. I-I see you, Ralak” you sputter, breath hitching from the crying.

“Tanhì” he croaks, kissing the crown of your head as he wraps his arms around you to hold you closer.   

“I love you” The three words are said in unison as you cling onto one another.

Alcohol still coursing through his veins, Ralak’s heavy body slumps into you, slowly shifting you both against the cave wall. He presses your back against the rocky surface, unwrapping his arms from your waist to support his body weight with a hand on the wall. He leans in, brushing his cheek against yours.

“I will miss you.” he whispers huskily next to the shell of your ear.

“I’ll miss you, too.” you whisper back, head pulling back to meet his gaze.

Your eyes lock for a moment, an undeniable tension now budding in the air and making your breaths quicken. He inches even closer, lips brushing against yours as you exchange the same hot breath until you’re light in the head.

He kisses you roughly – sloppily.

Tongue slipping into your mouth, you get a taste of what he’s been drinking all day. It’s a little sweet, with undertones of various fruits native to the reef people. But once the sweetness wears off, the bitter aftertaste makes your brows gather. He pulls away, revealing heavy-lidded eyes with thin blue rings for irises, flickering side to side as they stare into yours.

Chests heaving in synchrony, you both struggle to catch your breath. Hands cupping each other’s face, your lips crash into one another again, body language hungry and desperate for each other’s touch. Ralak shoves his knee between your legs, providing you with the friction your body has been begging for. Your body moves on its own, humping at his thigh as best you can in the water.

“I-I want... you.” The desperate words part your bruised, flushed lips, hand sliding up his back to caress his kuru [queue].

He shakes his head, brows gathering tightly. “Not now. Not here. We do it the right way.”

“Then...” you pant, voice laced with desperation as your hands make their way to his hips, dainty fingers wrapping around his hardened girth, “...give me something else.”

Breath turning raggedy, he struggles to maintain his composure. The influence of the alcohol surging through his body proves it to be an even more difficult task. He takes a deep breath, withdrawing his knee from your legs to spin you around in one quick motion. Ralak tries his best to be gentle with you, shoving you into the wall to press his aching cock against you.

A soft moan parts your lips; thin, fuzzy tail wrapping around his thigh in attempts to bring you closer. Eywa, did that push him closer to the edge. Your tail had been one of his favourite things about you from the day you first locked eyes, so slender and delicate. Nothing like his. It not only fascinated him. It aroused him.

It makes him push into you even harder, tip of his cock throbbing against your lower back. He craves to be even closer to you – to be inside you. To rut into you until your voice becomes so hoarse from screaming his name. Over and over. Again, and again. Fingers hurriedly fiddling with the knot of your loincloth, he pants a few greedy, rough kisses along your upper back.

“Oh! Ralak, I-I think –” you moan lowly, his touches throwing you into a daze.

“What?” he huffs, fingers coming to a halt in fear that he’s being too rough with you.

“I think I’m still in heat.” you lie, or maybe it wasn’t a lie. You feel so woozy in the head that you’re not even sure what’s going on anymore. All that sits at the forefront of your mind is him claiming you as his.

“Is that so?” he lets out a breath of relief, a chuckle if you will.

“Yes. Can you help me?” you pant, trembling voice feigned with innocence.

“Ah. Let me check, little one.” He buries his face into the nape of your neck, pulling back with a loud sigh through his nose. A growl rumbles in his chest and up his throat. “I can still smell him.” The scent of another so deep into your skin makes him want to mark you. To sink his lengthy canines into your neck for the smell to seep out, only to be replaced by his.

“Then fix it.” you breathe, head dipping forward to open yourself up to him.

“Oh?” he smiles open mouthed, brushing his pointed fangs against your silken skin, making your back arch on instinct. Submitting to him and his touch. Open mouth lingering over your neck, his jaw closes to graze his teeth against you. He sucks lightly on your skin, puckered lips pulling off with a pop.

Of course, he’d make you wait for that too. He was only ‘helping’ you, right now.  

He kicks your feet apart, spreading your legs for him to settle in closer behind you. A string of your slick connects your thighs together, breaking apart when he rubs his cock against your bare cunt. He begins rubbing his face into the back of your neck, scenting you as his.

“Mine. Yes?” he growls, thrusting himself against your slippery slit.   

“Yes.” You spread your legs further apart, standing on the tips of your toes to provide him with better access. “Please.” You let out a pathetic mewl.

He grunts in frustration. He wants nothing more than to thrust himself inside you, stretching your pussy out with his huge cock. And with those little, sweet pleas, it’s almost too hard to resist. But he does. He pulls away, gaze snapping down to the rope of wetness connecting your most intimate parts together.

Cocking a brow, his hand comes between your sticky pelvises, fingers coiling around the string of slick before they glide over your pussy and spread your folds. Your wetness drips down his digits, pooling in the palm of his hand. “So wet. Maybe you are in heat.” he mumbles, pressing his lips against your back, peppering kisses down the curve of your shoulder.  

Ralak fondles with your puffy clit, rubbing tight circles into it with his slickened fingertips. Your hips squirm around from the white-hot pleasure tightening your core. It’s just not enough. Perhaps it’s just residual heat, but you feel so, so empty. A yearning deep in your womb, to be filled and stretched. Your hips buck forward, slipping his fingertips to prod at your entrance, before pushing back on him to try and sink them inside you.

Needy body language riling up the giant behind you, his harsh kisses move their way up to your ear. “Say it, tanhì.” he groans lowly, positioning his finger at your tight hole.

“I n-need you inside of me!” you cry desperately, shoving yourself back into him.

“You listen so well, paysyul.” he exhales a hot breath into the shell of your ear, sinking his thick finger inside you, twisting his wrist so that he can curl it right into your sweet spot.

“Oh, shit.” you moan breathily, cheek pressed firmly against the rocky wall.

“That is why you learn so quickly.” He fingers you roughly, expertly working out a squelch with each curl of his digit.

The feeling is like heat, shooting down your spine and pooling in your pelvis. It makes your hips spasm, chasing the fiery sensation in hopes to put it out. His finger brings relieve, satiating the itch as your sweet spot swells from pure bliss. He knows exactly where to touch, and how to touch.

Yet, it still isn’t enough.

“More! ‘ts not enough!” you cry, writhing underneath him.

He finds your little cries amusing, letting a chuckle evade his lips. How could something so small act so mighty? He slides another digit in, feeling your tight pussy walls stretch to accommodate him. He hears the little whimper bubbling up your throat, letting him know you need a moment to adjust.

“Taking my fingers so well, hm?” he praises you with a shaky voice, planting a gentle kiss behind your ear.

“Mmmn! Please!” Another plea falls from your lips, a plea for him to move – to make you cum. He sets a relentless pace, stimulating the sensitive spot in your gummy, hot walls, working lengthy moans and mewls from you.

With the way he’s fingerfucking you, it feels as if your nerves are on fire. The coil tightly wound in your core ready to snap any second now. Your brows pinch together in fervour, mouth falling open to allow heavy, hot breaths to escape.

“Close! So close! Gonna! Gonna –” Your words catch in your throat, leaving you breathless and tense around his fingers.

“Make yourself cum.” he orders gruffly, stopping all movement once he feels you tighten around his digits.

You gasp, hips moving on their own to chase the orgasm he just took away from you. “No, no. You know I can’t. Please.” you sputter, pushing against the wall to ride his fingers.

“You can. And you will.” he growls, bending his fingers as encouragement.

You quickly accept your fate, holding on tightly to whatever pleasurable feeling remains and running with it. You push back on him, squirming around as you try to make yourself cum. Closing your eyes, you tune into your body, feeling what feels good and where. But the position that you’re in makes it even harder to do it yourself.

“Just fuck me!” you cry desperately, frustration so pent up you couldn’t help the outburst.

“Language.” he hisses, shoving his fingers so deep inside you that your slick coats his knuckles.

“Fuck! Please.” you beg, reaching behind you to grab his wrist.

“No.” he smirks, looking down at how your cunt sucks in his digits, listening to your pleading and begging.

He just wants to hear a little more. To hear how badly you want him. He loves the way you squirm around, sputtering nonsense from being so fucked out by just his fingers. He loves the little noises your pussy makes for him and can’t wait to hear how they’ll sound once his cock is stuffed inside you.

“Ralak. Please. Please make me cum!” you cry, using his wrist as leverage to fuck back into him.

He slides his hand down your stomach, fingers playing with your swollen, neglected clit. He’s pumping his digits in and out of your dripping cunt, feeling your slick dribble down his hand. It doesn’t take long for you to near your climax, pussy walls clamping down around his fingers.

“Let go. Cum for me.” he groans, swollen tip of his cock oozing beads of precum onto your lower back.

“Oh, fuckfuckfuck!” you let out a hoarse cry, entire body shuddering underneath him “Cumming! Cumming!”

“That’s my girl.” he hums proudly, scissoring his fingers open to stretch you out.  

You let out a high-pitched whimper, hint of pain making your eyes water. Then a wave of ecstasy ripples through you, leaving your legs trembling beneath you. He snakes his arm around your waist, holding you up while you ride out of your high, sprinkling your shoulder with kisses.

Once you come down from your high, you lean back into him, resting your head against his chest. Huffing and puffing, you try to catch your breath as you turn around to cup his swollen balls. “My turn to make you feel good.”

To your surprise, he rests a hand on your arm, pulling it away from him. He looks down at you through blown pupils, arousal plastered all over his face. Beads of sweat trickle down his temples, wet strands of curled hair stuck to his cheeks, he sighs the words. “Not today, tanhi. I must get you back, now.”

[urfavlarry]

HEYY, AIDEN x READER AT THE RINK ANON HERE!! LOVED THE WAY U WROTE THE ONESHOT!

i was waiting for your requests to open up again :D (im obsessed with aiden so bear w/ me, i'll be requesting ALOT abt him) wanted to ask if u could write a oneshot about tyler,aiden x f!reader as a love triangle! something along the lines of; how the atmosphere is around the group when those two keep on pissing each other off. Aiden being aiden and just pulling on tylers strings even though reader hasn't chosen which one she likes most!

(if its okay w u, every time i request something i'll just put 🤍Anon!)

Tyler & Aiden x fem!reader

╰┈➤ ⋆｡‧˚ʚ 🎸🥀 ɞ˚‧｡⋆

The more confident one here would probably be Aiden

Like ofc Tyler isn’t insecure or anything but he definitely isn’t that confident when flirting with you

Aiden would get more touchy and pushy (well if that’s even possible)

Tyler would be more calm around you and would be very overprotective over you and would protect you, just like his sister with his life

The two would bicker so much more

You turn the corner, there’s a fighting Aiden and Tyler there

Aiden would be more smug then angry when arguing with Tyler

On the other hand.. Tyler would get pissed

We all know he gets pissed easily but they wouldn’t full on fist fight probably to not raise suspicion within the others in the group

When you are alone with Tyler he would probably be more ‘flirty’

He would have his hand on your waist or hug you

You wouldn’t think anything of it because you think he’s just being friendly (reader is kinda oblivious like always, typical Y/N)

When you three would be near each other the atmosphere would be so fucking tense

Ashlyn fight her inner demons to not say “get a room the sexual tension radiating off of you is making me sick”

Some would question the weird atmosphere but the two would deny anything and everything

After a while they would probably make you choose or one of them would just make a move

If you had a crush on Aiden:

Tyler would be crushed

He would cry probably but not a full on breakdown

He would get pissy towards you and Aiden (more to Aiden)

Deep down he would still like you but after some time he moves on

Things would definitely be awkward for a while tho

On the other hand Aiden would be the happiest man alive

He would rub it in but he wouldn’t go THAT far to the point he would make Tyler feel bad

Probably just sticking his tongue out when you’re not looking or when he kisses you he would do that thing where you have your eyes closed while he is eyeing Tyler

Aiden would yap your ear off and tell you what has been going on between him and Tyler

You would just laugh it off, feeling a bit bad for Tyler but you’re happy you got together with your crush :3

If you had a crush on Tyler:

Oh he would act like he doesn’t care but deep down he wants to rub it in so bad but doesn’t want to be immature

Would probably just smirk at Aiden when you’re not looking

Aiden would still be his cheerful self but he would be crushed as well

Poor boy probably cried the whole night

Ben would glare a bit at you two like how dare you make his cousin cry

But after a while he forgets about it and moves on, going back to his usual very happy self who yaps everyones ears off

Tyler would definitely not tell you what has been happening

Like girl nuh uh that shit seems too embarrassing to be talked about anywhere near you

Would never admit he was jealous, like never

But you can tell because he looks like an angry puppy :D

After a while the atmosphere in the group would go back to normal, just some romance popping in lmao

If you don’t like them back:

the awkwardness in the group would fr go 📈

probably would plan to fight the person you like

after some time they would ofc get over it but this would take then so much longer to get over

everyone in the group is like “wtf is going on”

if you start dating that person and stat to drift away from the group they would be really sad tho

if the guy mistreats you then they will beat him up they wouldn’t even care of they get in trouble

overall your interactions would be brief and awkward

[ryomens-vixen]

VIIIIXXX I have a request if I may?

I wanna know what Yandere head cannons you have for Suguru. Because I know you have them, and I'm /dying/ to hear them

😌🤍Ofc I have some Yandere head canons of my boyfriend Suguru! And yes you can send a request anytime pookie!

YANDERE!Suguru Headcanons

Summary: Your friends dared you to do this trendy break up prank on your boyfriend...but he's not taking the joke to well.

Yandere!Suguru x (f)YN

CW: Yandere tendencies, Stalking, Kidnapping, NSFW, gaslighting, blood kink if you squint, knife play if you squint, breeding kink.

Word count: ion fuckin know 🤷🏾‍♀️ Reblog & ❤ good luck!

Yandere!Suguru whom you happened to break up with as a joke, except he did not take the joke very lightly at all. You see your boyfriend was absolutely infatuated with you, obsessed even. So this "joke" was not funny to him at all- You have no clue as to how far he would actually go to make sure you're his even though his calm and level headed demeanor says otherwise.

Yandere!Suguru who after that joke would follow you to and from work making sure you hadn't been talking to someone who wasn't him.

Yandere!Suguru who would check your phone while you were in the shower when you'd come over his place to spend the night.

Yandere!Suguru who would "jokingly" tell you to go talk to your other hoes, but whenever you joked back with a nonchalant "Okay, I will" it made his chest tighten and burn with anger. Did you actually have another behind his back? We're you going to go see him after you left? All while faking a small chuckle, you really don't know what you've done, have you?

Yandere!Suguru who would go weeks without talking to you after that night, you never questioned it. Maybe he was busy with work or caught up with Suguru. No- no he wasn't. He was a lot closer than you thought.

Yandere!Suguru who turned off his location so you wouldn't know that the whole time he wasn't speaking to you, he was actually stalking you throughout the day and night. Did you forget already that you gave him a key to your apartment?

Yandere!Suguru who memorized the times where you would eat and take a shower so that he can sneak in each night and hide underneath your bed.

Yandere!Suguru who would listen to you giggle to your girlfriends about this new guy that's become your regular at the café you worked at each morning. Was this the guy you were seeing behind his back? No, he has to REMIND you that you belong to him only and he'd do that tonight.

Yandere!Suguru would wait until you were good and asleep to duct tape your mouth and hog tie you tight enough to get you in his car, all the fighting you did with him really tired you out. Might as well sees what your DARLING boyfriend has in store for you. At least getting kidnapped by some hot guy with dark circles was definitely on the bucket list.

Yandere!Suguru who would later violently toss you onto his couch rather than taking you to his bed, no no that was too good for you.

"You know this IS your fault? Thinking you could EVER find someone better than me- Are you stupid? Answer me, Y/N!"

How on earth could you possibly answer his question...with tape over your month?! But it was so hot seeing him pace around like some crazed lunatic- which is exactly what he was.

"You think you're too good to answer me, huh? It's okay, because I'll show you would actually owes you- NOBODY. And I mean NOBODY. will ever, ever love you as much as I do, Nobody will ever know your body like I know it~"

Man you hadn't a clue what he was going in about, but you knew one thing. That aching in your core was really nagging you with how much Suguru was turning you on. Maybe you should make him act like this more often, Nah because then he'll know you're doing it on purpose.

Yandere!Suguru who would come back with the sharpest knife he could find just to throw himself on top of you. Taking each piece of fabric that covered your delicious body and cutting it, no matter how sloppy the cuts he didn't want to take his time with you at all. You were his and he was determined to remind you of that, he was determined to bury his cock deep into the depths of your insides no matter what.

Yandere!Suguru who accidentally cut your inner tight while trying to get your pajama pants off. All he could hear was the squeal you made followed by a pained whine.

"Oh... I'm so sorry, mamas. Maybe if you didn't drive me crazy like this I wouldn't have cut you, but that's your fault too now isn't it?"

Of course it's not entirely you fault I mean how were you suppose to know that a harmless little prank would cause him so much distress? Goddamn it was hot, but you also didn't enjoy the pain that came with it- what is he doing? Is he liking the blood? What other crazy shit is this man into, you wondered?

"Mmmf, Mamas... You know you taste so good- I bet he's never tasted you before like I have. It almost tastes as good as that pussy of yours, look at it so soaking wet for daddy... Yeah she knows who she belongs too."

Is he- talking to your pussy?! Oh yeah you thought Suguru was crazy before, well he's definitely insane and man was it a little concerning.

Yandere!Suguru who would rub the bright pink tip of his cock onto the would that was left on your inner. The way his breath would hitch at the sight of some of your blood getting in his cock turned him as stiff as a brick he just had to be inside you.

Yandere!Suguru who would run his cock up and down through the folds of your pussy getting all your juices on it.

"I'm going to make you mine all over again, look at pretty pussy, just calling my fuckin name. Shhh.. Shhh. Shhh... Daddy's gonna make that pussy real full in. A. Minute-"

Yandere!Suguru who enunciated his last few words with a sudden thrust. Slamming his cock straight into your cervix- it was so sudden you barely had time to even adjust to his size before your eyes started to roll back.

Yandere!Suguru who threw your legs over his shoulders, ripped the tape off of your mouth, just so he could press his full weight onto you as he leaned down to sloppily kiss you.

"Say it's mines, mamas. C'mon, c'mon, c'mon say who this good pussy belongs too. This pretty pussy that I'm going to impregnate.. You'd like that wouldn't you? Me getting you pregnant, you having MY baby- just say it pretty girl, say it, say it, say it-!"

"I-its yours, AaAah- S- Su- Fuck-"

"Atta girl.. That's right, my fuckin pussy, nobody elses~"

Yandere!Suguru who made you call off of work so that he could properly breed you for the rest of the day so he can make sure you're well fertilized with his seed.

[joelsgreys]

🍂 joelsgreys weekly recap 🍂

she’s baaaaack. i’m so backlogged on reading, my tbr shelf is packed and there’s still dozens of more works not on the shelf that i have my eye on to read and asdfghjkl but thankfully i’m almost done with the school semester (next week baby!) so i hope to do a lot more reading. thank you writers for all that you do. i know it gets rough but don’t ever forget how appreciated you are for blessing us with amazing content FOR FREE 🤍

this list is a mixed bag, we got some joel, some frankie, some javi, and we even got ourselves bit of mike schmidt (hello josh hutcherson, the brain rot is so real rn)

🔥 indicates smut, please be sure to heed all tags/warnings by the author, all blogs and works are 18+ only, MINORS DNI.

happiest day by @cupofjoel 🔥

Mike Schmidt x Reader

Summary: When you least expect it, mike surprises you with a confession

The Less I Know The Better by @planet-marz1

Joel Miller x Female Reader

Summary: Joel returns home with a heartbreaking confession.

eyes on the monitor by @cupofjoel 🔥

Mike Schmidt x Female Reader

Summary: mike catches something on the security cameras that really shouldn't be happening at a family-friendly pizzeria—even an abandoned one.

heaven and back by @joelmillers-whore 🔥

Frankie Morales x Female Reader

Summary: an object on your nightstand inspires frankie to experiment in the bedroom and you’re all for it. 

just married by @ilovepedro 🔥

Frankie Morales x Female Reader

Summary: You and Frankie just tied the knot. Half way through the reception, your insatiable husband whisks you away for some much needed privacy.

Dry Run by @chronically-ghosted

Javier Peña x Female Reader

Summary: you meet javi in a club and he shows you his favorite way to foreplay sex.

Grays by @softlyspector

Joel Miller x Reader

Summary: Joel likes to be read to and held and have his hair stroked. He would never dare admit it, though.

dye this space red by @cupofjoel 🔥

Mike Schmidt x Female Reader

Summary: mike's a pretty sensitive guy, emotionally and otherwise, and there's a theory you'd love to test on his thighs.

daddy next door chapter one by @cavillscurls

Daddy Dom!Joel Miller x Female Reader

Summary: you meet your new neighbor and quickly discover he’s all you’re able to think about.

Deliver Me From Nowhere Chapter Six and Chapter Seven 🔥 (ish) by @atinylittlepain

Joel Miller x OFC

No summary, please see authors tags and notes.

but you know the killer doesn’t understand Part I by @morning-star-joy

Joel Miller x Female Reader

Summary: When Joel returns to Jackson and meets you, his new neighbor, he knows right away he's fucked.

Texas Hold ‘Em by @sweetercalypso 🔥

DBF! Joel Miller x Female Reader

Summary: when a heatwave interrupts your lake house vacation, you and dbf!Joel find another way to have some fun.

beautiful divider by @saradika-graphics 🤍

[zerobaseonefics]

it’s award show season! tag some of your moots as different awards 🤍

now that you talk abt it i realize we're in the half of 2023 ...... already??

but anyways! love the question anon it's so fun 🤭 everybody, welcome to the zumblr awards !! take a sit and water in case you're thirsty 🙏🏼

now that everyone is sat, let's start ‼️

first, i'm giving the most loyal moot award to @big-uwu-stan <3 val was my first ever follower here and she stayed by me until now, so this obviously goes to her

for obvious reasons, the biggest simp award goes to @terazono-keita. do i have to explain myself?

i'm giving the sunshine award to three ppl : @seok02 @mins-fins @keiwook 🫶🏼 the three of them are my babies fr and they are just SCREAMING sunshines. they always give us positive vibes, they hype up their moots, they give love.... yup, sunshines.

the coolest moot award goes to @cowsidfk CUZ THEO IS THE COOLEST MF HERE?????? i said it to him before but i think he's really. there's something abt the way he talks and the fact he's a tattoo artist. he might not know it but i find him quite charismatic tbh

i'll give the funniest post award to @taerrrrrae. moni is not only giving us content abt zb1/bp, no, at this point she is a zumblr fan account!! her post abt her moots never fail to make me laugh, and her post abt bp trainees are as funny!! i think she really adds something to our circle of writers here.

my favorite writers award would go to @haesunflower and @boysplanetmorelike . not only they are super kind and i love all their answers to their anons, but their work are my favorites here. y'all should definitly check them out even tho i'm pretty sure everyone already knows them <3

i'm giving the best big sister award to @huipinkhair cuz so is just a safe place and she just feels like that one person that emotionally adopts anyone younger and take care of them without wanting anything in return. and i love her <3

i'm giving the mf who's too weak for her favs award to @chxrrymxxnlight cuz she is always crying abt ricky and fainting bcz of him 😭😭 i find it really funny!! plz she's the ririyangi yk so she suffers a lot and deserves at least an award as an allowance.......

the zb1 writers' spokeperson award goes to @juyomiao cuz they just say in the most honest way what all writers are thinking. you're complaining abt us being late on a post? you're complaining abt us not writing enough? you're complaining abt anything that have to do with us writing or not like we owe you something? yup, li is gonna tell you straight that we do not work for you 🙏🏻 still manages being one of my funniest moot

and ofc my favorite moots award goes to @yunacoeur and @cherriegyu and i wish they'll be more active soon cuz it's not the same without them <3

you know how they like to give awards for artists that just popped up recently? imma do the same and give this award to @jinkiseason cuz they randomly popped up as my anon then became one of my favorite moot<3

to close this ceremony, i'd like to say i love them all and they all bring something special to zb1 tumblr <3 take care of you bbygorl bbyboys and bbythem

and don't forget!! it's always hanbin's fault 🙏🏼

[shiftingparadise]

Hey! I thought of this Levi x reader request. it’s a bit smutty if that’s alright with you. So basically it’s a modern office au.

Levi as the boss and reader as his secretary. I just love that trope so much 🫠. ANYWAYS so they’re in a secret relationship so no one knows they’re dating. Other women in the office obviously flirt with him but he doesn’t pay them attention. There’s this one girl that reader can’t stand and ofc she’s one of the women that flirts a lot with Levi and it pisses reader off so bad( she’s a real b*tch to reader) Levi notices readers mood and she tells him why she’s like that. So what Levi decides to do is to f**k reader in his office AND YES SO EVERYONE CAN HEAR THAT HE IS TAKEN. Especially that girl that reader hates. After no other woman flirts with him.Thanks!

I think we would all love Levi as our boss 🥹 I really enjoyed writing this one, thank you for this request 😇✨

Hope everyone's having a great day. Enjoy reading 🤍✨

Word count: 2207

‘Ugh’. ‘What? What’s possibly wrong this time?’. 

You could feel the heat rising to your chest already. God, you hated that woman, you hated her with a passion you never knew you had in you. 

‘You’re late, and you’re making a mess’, her eyes disapprovingly glide over the wet trail your clothes left behind. ‘I’m so, so sorry, Sarah. I’m sorry for making a mess on this wonderful floor, but as you’ve probably noticed I forgot my umbrella’, you hung your wet coat on the coat rack, trying to ignore the way she rolled her eyes. ‘Mr., Ackerman won’t be happy’. 

‘Don’t worry Sarah, he’ll be more than happy to help me get rid of these clothes after work’, you had to gather every ounce of self-control to swallow the words away.

‘Don’t you have any work to do?’, ‘Lots if you keep showing up late’. 

What if I just throw my coffee over her desk? Nope, can’t do that. Just ignore her. 

‘Good morning’. ‘G-good morning, Mr. Ackerman’. 

Does she really have to lean over her desk like that? God, if she presses her elbows any more together, her breasts will fall out of her shirt. 

‘Morning Y/N’, he frowned at the sight of your wet hair and drenched clothes, ‘Rough morning?’. ‘I did, I’m sorry sir’, you kept your head low, trying to repress the memories of the previous evening. ‘You seem tired. Did you stay up too late again?’. 

Asshole.

‘Yes, I’m sorry sir’, a small smirk on your face. He knew it was his fault that you barely got any sleep. ‘Make sure you get enough sleep tonight. Can’t have my secretary forget anything’, his fingertips grazed over your desk, swiftly touching your hand in the progress. 

A subtle touch, but it was enough to drive you crazy. He knew that. He knew how addicted you were to him. 

‘Let me know when Erwin’s here for the meeting’, ‘Of course sir’. 

---

‘Oh, Mr. Ackerman!’. 

If she calls him in that stupid voice one more time… 

‘What’s wrong Sarah?’. 

Does he really need to look over her shoulder at her computer? Really? 

‘S-shit’, you quickly turn your head away when his eyes lock with yours. 

If she giggles one more time… It’s impossible to ignore the women that throw themselves onto him, but it’s even more impossible when Sarah does so. 

‘Oh, you have something on your suit, Mr. Ackerman’. 

If he lets her take it off him… 

‘That’s it’, you grumpily, closed your agenda before walking to vending machines. 

Something on your suit… Yeah, right. You know what, I don’t care anymore. She can have him, bet he likes looking at her breasts, that’s why he was leaning over her, right? He wanted to look at her breasts, pathetic. 

‘Are you okay?’. 

You froze when you could hear his voice from behind you. 

‘I’m fine’, you snapped while bending over to grab your drink out of the vending machine. ‘I can see something’s bothering you’. ‘Nothing’s bothering me’. 

‘H-huh?’, you froze when you felt his hand around your arm, pulling you towards him. ‘Don’t lie’. 

Why does he have to be like this? Why does he have to make me feel like this? 

‘Tch’, you angrily pulled away from him, ‘Ask your precious Sarah what’s wrong’. 

‘Sarah?’, Levi frowned as he watched you storming off. 

--- 

‘Did you see the way he looked at me? I bet he’s going to ask me out on a date’. At this point, Sarah’s voice alone made you physically ill.  ‘You think so? Ugh, I would be so jealous! He’s so handsome’. ‘I’m  sorry,Elizabeth, he’s mine’.

I’m going to kill her. 

‘Y/N? Could you come into my office for a second? I need to discuss something with you’. ‘I’ll be with you in 5 minutes, just need to finish this’, you pointed at your computer without looking at your boss. ‘Thank you’. 

No subtle touch this time? No sneaky remark? Wait… Is he mad at me? Or… 

‘Maybe he’ll finally fire you for being so late all the time’. Sarah was leaning on your desk, a smug look on her face while she was looking at her freshly manicured nails. ‘Fuck Sarah, could you please get those two out of my face’, you sighed while looking at her breasts. ‘Why? Mr. Ackerman seems to like them’. 

I’m definitely going to kill her’. 

‘That’s nice, but I don’t’.

Bitch. 

‘Mr. Ackerman?’, you knocked on the door to his office, trying not to sound too irritated. ‘Come in’. 

He seems unbothered, that’s good. 

‘What’s wrong with Sarah?’. 

He can’t be serious. 

‘What’s wrong? Oh nothing’, you crossed your arms, nose pointed towards the chair next to you, ‘It’s a real pleasure to hear Sarah brag about how you’re looking at her breasts all the time’. ‘I’m not looking at her … breasts’. 

Great. Zero emotion in his voice, like always. 

‘Uhu’, you rolled your eyes, ‘Sure’. ‘Y/N you’re acting childish, you know you’re the only one for me’. 

You followed his every move when he walked toward you. 

‘You know that, right?’, the back of his hand gently hovered over your cheek. ‘It’s inappropriate to touch one of your employees like this, Mr. Ackerman’, you turned away from his touch, ‘But don’t worry, I know for a fact Sarah wouldn’t mind you fucking her in your office’. 

‘Huh?’, Levi felt lost when you stormed out of his office. You never acted like this before. Sure, you often made comments about how many women flirted with him, but it never bothered you like this.

--- 

‘Everyone’s gone, I’m leaving too. I’ve mailed you your agenda for tomorrow’. ‘Wait’, Levi stood up from his desk once he noticed you wanted to close his door already. ‘Do you want to grab some dinner?’. 

‘I’ve got other plans’. 

I want to binge-watch all the Bridget Jones movies while eating ice cream. 

‘Oh okay, I’ll see you tonight though, right?’. ‘I’m tired, but you know who would love to spend some time with you?’. ‘Y/N-‘. ‘Sarah, you should call her. I bet she would love to shove her breasts against your arm some more’. 

Did you really think I hadn’t noticed the way she was standing against you when she talked to you earlier? 

‘You’re jealous’. ‘Oh please, don’t flatter yourself, Levi. Not every girl’s waiting for your attention’. 

They are, and he knows it, what a stupid thing to say. Good job Y/N. 

‘See you tomorrow’. ‘Y/N-‘. Levi’s eyebrows rose when you closed the door. 

Is this our first fight? I bet he hates me. 

Your mind was racing when you walked to your apartment. You hated the way you behaved earlier, but it was out of your control, your emotions took over. 

I’ll apologize tomorrow. 

--- 

‘Early, are we?’, two hands appeared on your desk, startling you. ‘L-levi’, you looked up from your desk, batting your eyelashes in embarrassment. ‘Why didn’t you respond to my text messages?’.

I couldn’t handle the embarrassment. 

‘I turned my phone off’. ‘Why can’t you talk to me?’. 

‘Good morning, Mr. Ackerman!’. 

Did nobody run her over? What a pity. 

‘I’ll need you in my office at 10 Y/N’. ‘Okay, Mr. Ackerman’. 

‘Mr. Ackerman, I was wondering if -’. 

Wondering if you look like a stripper? 

‘Sarah could you please wear something more appropriate to work?’, Levi’s brows drew together once he noticed the short skirt and tight top she was wearing. A grin appeared on your face when you could see the dazed look in her eyes.

‘O-of course, sorry sir’, the color drained out of her face at his words. 

--- 

‘Mr. Ackerman?’, you softly knocked on his office at precisely 10 AM. ‘Hm, come in’.

Is that a new suit? He’s so handsome. 

‘Tell me what’s wrong, please. I can’t stand whatever’s going on between us’. 

You could feel your eyes getting glossy, a lump in your throat. 

I’m insecure. 

‘N-nothing’s wrong’. ‘I’ll ask you again… Why can’t you talk to me? Don’t you see this, us, as something serious?’. ‘O-of course I do’. ‘Then talk to me, tell me what’s bothering you’. 

This is it. I’m going to cry. He’s going to see me cry for the first time. 

‘Y/N?’, Levi’s eyes widened when he could see a tear streaming down your cheek. ‘I-I can’t take it’. ‘What?’, you could hear him walking towards you, ‘You can’t take what?’. ‘I can’t stand to see all those women flirt with you, and especially not her’. 

He chuckled, why did he chuckle? 

‘You’re cute when you’re jealous’, his hand wrapped around your waist, pulling you closer, ‘You know I only have eyes for you’. ‘B-but S-sarah said that you were hers’. ‘Y/N, you can’t be serious’. 

He’s laughing? 

‘Don’t look at me with those sad eyes’, his thumb gently stroked the tear from your cheek, ‘You’re the only one I want’. ‘T-then why does she think you want her’. 

No response? Just a sigh? 

‘So… Correct me if I’m wrong, but it seems to me that you’re acting like this because of Sarah’. ‘M-maybe’. ‘Well, we’ll make sure she knows I’m yours then’.

‘H-huh?’, your eyes went round in surprise when you could feel his lips against yours. ‘You think I care if everyone knows? You were the one that wanted to keep this a secret’. 

Is this really happening? He isn’t going to- 

‘Hmpf’, you pressed the palm of your hand on your lips when you could feel him pulling up your skirt. ‘Don’t’, his lips hovered next to your ear, pulling your hand away, ‘The whole point of this is to let everyone know I’m yours, remember?’. 

‘L-levi’, only a whisper managed to leave your throat, ‘What? Can’t hear you’. 

Such a tease. 

‘S-stop’, you tried to pull his hand away from your panties. ‘No, I’ll make sure everyone knows you belong to me’. 

Wasn’t it supposed to be the other way round? 

‘Good girl’, a corner of his mouth lifted when your soft moans reached his eardrums, ‘Let me take care of you’. His strong arms wrapped around your waist, effortlessly picking you up, ‘God, you’ve no idea how many times I imagined you sitting on my desk like this’. ‘W-we’ve fucked in your office before’, your fingers hastily unbuttoned his shirt. ‘Not like this, not while everyone’s still working’. ‘You want people to know we’re-‘, ‘I want the whole world to know that you’re mine Y/N. I never wanted to keep this a secret’. 

Everyone will think I’m with you for your money. 

‘Eyes on me, don’t get lost in your thoughts now, pretty girl’. You loved the way he left sloppy kisses on your breasts, the way he swiftly pulled your panties aside. ‘I’ve never looked at her breasts, not once. I don’t care about other women, you’re all I need and more’. ‘I-I love you’, fragile, you sounded fragile, and you hated it. 

‘I love you too’, his crescent-shaped eyes met your glossy ones. 

This is the first time we’ve told each other… 

‘I want you, now’, your hands moved towards his pants, effortlessly undoing his belt. ‘Make me proud and make sure everyone hears you, okay?’. 

He’s kind of a pervert, isn’t he? 

‘Of course, Mr. Ackerman’. 

Within a couple of minutes, your mind was fogged with pleasure. You didn’t care what the others were going to think. You were his and he was yours. 

‘Louder’, his voice sounded as steady as ever while he fucked you dumb, ‘Let everyone hear that pretty voice of yours’. ‘Levi please’, ‘What? Use your words’. 

I’m going crazy. 

‘Can I-‘, ‘Only because you’re being so good’, he softly bit your shoulder, his thumb gently pressing against your sensitive spot. 

‘W-want you to come with me’, ‘Everything for my sweet secretary’. 

--- 

‘I-I can’t walk out this door’, ‘You’re going to have to pretty girl’. 

Easy for you to say, you’re the boss. 

‘Here’, he gently placed some loose strands of hair behind your ear, ‘You look beautiful with your flushed cheeks’. ‘Fuck you’, a small smile on your face, ‘Sarah will kill me’. ‘Sarah really needs to change up her wardrobe, or she can’t work here anymore’, ‘Says the boss who just fucked his secretary in his office… during work hours’. 

A shrug? Is that all? He really doesn’t care. 

‘I’ll open the door for you’, ‘Stop smirking like that’. 

Well, no turning back now. 

‘Be sure to have my reports ready at 5’. 

Really? 

You rolled his eyes at his remark, ‘Of course, Mr. Ackerman’. You forced a smile on your face while walking to your desk. 

Everyone’s looking at me as expected. No one’s saying anything though… 

---

‘Can I have everyone’s attention for a minute?’, Levi’s voice broke through the unusual silence, ‘I want to have a lovely dinner with my girlfriend this evening, so everyone can leave early today’. 

He really just did that, huh?

‘No one’s even looking at you, not even Sarah’, you giggled, looking up at Levi who was leaning against your desk, ‘I think she got the hint’. 

[onlyjaeyun]

jaemin foul for cheating but he kinda valid for speaking up about not feeling loved?!? Idk I mean ofc he shouldn’t have cheated and there should have definitely been more communication to help them but is he so wrong for feeling neglected? Idk idk I just idk sympathize with him but still fucking hate that he cheated as way to be validated!!

I think I sympathize because my ex bf was the same where there was a lot of priority given to everyone but me and I was kinda just there to nurse his ego and make him feel good but never vise versa and that shit broke me the difference being I accepted that as my fate and he would tell me it’s because I’m “hard to love but he’s trying his best to love me” and like I carried that with me everywhere and I was always like … dang and idk i stayed in that cycle until he broke up with me but I feel like if jaemin didn’t cheat he might have been in the same place I was idk?

Sorry for the random trauma dump

-🦒

noo dont ever be sorry baby!!!! what im about to say is in absolutely no way belittling or disregarding your experience because i myself know exactly how you feel/felt and the cycle you are talking about and even if i didn't i'm pretty sure i can somehow phathom what you went through. (i'm so proud of you btw!🥺🤍)

now onto COLD HEARTS!jaemin however, he's just..not in that position. i've tried my best to depict him rather toxic and manipulative but i have realised that i should have made it more obvious or like out in the open to give his charcter the light i needed him to have.

ofc he's absolutely valid for feeling neglected, however – and this will be revealed in future chapters – he was never really neglected in the first place. he simply hates everyone in y/n's life and wanted her all to himself all while maintaining his own social circle as usual. on top of it all, he was actually the one in your ex bf's position since he constantly told y/n things like "nobody can put up with an attitude like yours" or "you're so difficult to talk to i feel like i can't ever have a normal conversation with you" when he simply didn't like her responses in the sense of its meaning and not even necessarily her tone.

you will understand the type of person he is the more chapters come since, yes they broke up, but he'll remain a firm part of the story till the very end!

i hope this somehow makes it a little more understandable which pov i wrote jaemin from.

sympathising with him in that matter is absolutely understandable bc we all would feel the same way, but i can reassure you that CH!jaems isn't one of us 💀

oh also, additionally i gotta comment here that y/n had to raise herself and her siblings and grew up in a very difficult household which lead to her having said attitude jaemin complains so much about. he knew this and basically – as the boys state in chap 5 – has made it his challenge to see if he can have her submit to him and prove himself that he can handle every type of woman.

i hope this all makes sense, i sometimes tend to forget that you guys cant actually look into my brain so i gotta type these thoughts and behind the scenes out every now and then! thank you sm for your feedback baby, ily 🥺🤍

[mangoposts]

https://www.tumblr.com/mangoposts/747493161715351552/httpswwwtumblrcommangoposts74744148176211148

no fr the man can be the most attractive person ever and i’ll just imagine their breath smelling or some shit and i’ll stop talking to them, like if you’re a man my expectations are SO high but if you’re a girl just you talking and paying attention to me is enough 🤍

i’m so over the situationship (finally) but 2 years ago we used to act so lovey dovey with eachother at school like she would constantly compliment me, she would tell me personal stuff, she would draw on me, she would buy food and drinks for me, especially with drinks she would be like “i know you want it, keep it” and i would actually die inside every time, i used to take her home so she wouldn’t be alone, she used to give me strong ass eye-contact, she would literally tell me to sit on her lap, always being like “i love (my name)”

anyways, summer break rolls around and it only just hits that she likes me and i like her too, so ofc i start to distance because i have commitment issues and i am scared ❤️ i am so scared i hate her i can’t talk to her normally anymore, but we keep on messaging

school starts again and i’m like “holy shit i’m literally having physical reactions from even thinking about her” and then i come to school one day and she came out as straight to everyone and then she announced she got a boyfriend and was super religious now and i was like ???? what ? so obviously i become heartbroken and depressed

then she breaks up with him for a period of time and im still in love with her so i start doing lovey dovey shit like buying her presents, we both love nana so i would compare us to the 2 girls and she would agree, and im like holy fuck, i would buy her nana stuff, i would write her lovey dovey ass letters and notes and she would love it but then she got back with her boyfriend AHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAA and they’ve been dating for like 2 years

we are still friends but we rarely talk i gave up obviously because i dont want to be a home wrecker but in another universe we are together ❤️ but i was clinging on so bad i actually cringe every time i think about it + we outgrew eachother but she still takes my advice, like i told her to dye her hair red and she did it but now her hair is stained and like i told her it would stain but i didnt know it would stain so badly sorry girl ily 😭😭😭

now i’m single ! oh and not to forget she would guide me on how to talk to my girl crushes before i realised she liked me and she would give shitty ass advice 💀 at least this whole situation kept me entertained low-key but i became so depressed NEVER AGAIN 🙏

This would absolutely kill me inside i have NO IDEA HOW you’re still with us today you’re Fr stronger than me 😭😭😭❤️❤️❤️❤️ I hope you find someone better who takes their time with you and treats you right because THIS is traumatizing omfg

[sweetpiccolo-blog]

Hi love! Here for the mash up!

Well, I’m a light skinned Black Latina with a big dark Afro and brown eyes. I’m about 163cm (minus the hair) and I wear glasses.

I speak Portuguese, English and French which makes learning languages a hobbie for me. I love studying, especially if it involves history or philosophy. I also love reading, watching movies and talking about them, and I’m a huge Disney fan. I also love some good homemade food, traveling and music is my oxygen - I’m into a little bit of everything.

I’m a Sagittarius with a Gemini rising — don’t ask me what that means, I don’t get much about astrology. I’m a INFJ-T and a very introverted person until I get to know someone better! Very grumpy in the morning, talkative to the extreme and sometimes funny and silly. I’m very determined and creative in my life.

My love language is quality time with a hint of physical touch. I love to spend time with the people I love no matter if it is staying in, going out or crossing an ocean to explore a new country. I love good communication and vulnerability, makes me feel safe!

I dislike petty, annoying people, repeating noises, not being heard, disorganization and lack of compromise - just to name a few!

Just please don’t match me with Max or Checo! Not my favorites hihihi

Thank you already 🤍 lots of love!

Hi love! Sorry for the wait. I absolutely love your ask because I can see some similarities we have and I tried really to work on it. Hope you like it! <3💙

This is only my opinion, so be sure to let me know what you think about it later : )

LET US GET STARTED!

Header by @dvluc

Your match is...

☆George Russell☆

You are a language girl? He loves that about you. George would start learning new languages with you. He was never really into studying, but with you it´s much more fun plus you are his motivation. You get to test each other randomly if you didn´t forget some new words. You both would encourage each other when needed to use that certain language instead of English like usually.

He would have incredible respect for your culture. He would ask you to tell him something from your history or about your traditions. He wants to learn because he is naturally curious and interested. Plus he cherishes you a lot.

Your enthusiasm with history and philosophy is great for museum dates. When he travels for a race and you are with him you totally go on dates. If the weather is bad, then you visit a gallery or museum where you spend hours. There you tell him everything you know and he listens while smiling at you. He looks at you absolutely smitten. If he wants you to talk more, he asks a question and he just lets you talk. Even if it´s something he already knows. You talk, he listens.

Disney-world trip is happening for sure - because you love Disney ofc. He takes you and Alex with Lily and all 4 of you run around the whole day. And this trip wouldn´t be a one time thing for sure. 

George would watch whatever you like and then talk about it with you for the next few days. Sharing opinions, complaining about the storyline, appreciating characters, anything and everything. 

I feel like you two would kinda have a different taste in music but that´s no problem. Listening to the songs the other person likes is your love language. Just being able to learn about each other through music is very special.

You both are a little introverted. You spend time together the most. You don´t mind being around others but neither alone, just you two together. Meeting people is not really an issue but you like being with your comfort group of homies more.

You would be silly and funny together. You make jokes with him and about him. Its the same way around. Having a laugh is the main goal. And you absolutely don´t mind. He would have you grinning like silly even making you laugh so much you are on the floor holding your tummy.

George would be the first one to speak in the morning, slowly pulling you out of your tiredness and charging you with good energy from the moment you open your eyes. He charges your social battery.

Physical touch? No problem. You want it, he gives it to you and doesn´t let you go until you say you had enough. He doesn´t mind either way. He is there for you however you want. Even sitting next to each other and watching anything in silence is fine by him.

You share determination for things you are passionate about. And that´s what always reminds you how in love you two are. Just seeing the other person not give up and try harder is so admirable.

He knows he can be himself with you so sometimes, when the racing and everything gets to him and vents a bit, he knows you are there for him. Even if there are tears, he is not afraid to show it. He sees no point in hiding how he feels. 

When someone speaks over you, George stands up for you. He makes sure you are not ignored. He also remembers everything you like or are telling him and makes mental notes not to ignore it. If there are some annoying people and he sees you in discomfort, he tries to to take you away from them. He wants you to be comfortable.

His mom loves cooking for you! Or she invites you over and cooks something with you. George can´t help himself in those moment and just fall in love with you more. 

ENJOY! 💙💙💙

[szarz]

23.10.22

ONE OF THE BIGGEST MANIFESTATION SUCCESS STORY❤️‍🔥

I wanted my team to win AND OFCC WE WON!!! ALL I DID TO MAKE IT HAPPEN was use my mind. Affirm and ignore the 3d (persist in your desired outcome). IT WAS SOO EASY AND I ACTUALLY MADE IT HAPPEN. IM SO HAPPY🥹

Ok so a lil backstory and why this is so huge for me:

I've realised that I had a shitty self concept regarding to making this team win and it was hard for me to believe I can do anything to make us win. BASICALLY IT SEEMED IMPOSSIBLE FOR ME BEFORE but what made this belief even worse is that I tried making this team win before too. I affirmed like crazy back then but didn't make them win and I was really disappointed. I thought I did everything I had in me back then. Today the SAME team was playing again and I WAS NOT ABOUT TO FEEL THAT DISAPPOINTED EVERRRR AGAIN. IDC WHAT IT IS IN THIS LIFE TIME. ILL NEVER BE DISAPPOINTED BECAUSE I CREATE AND CHANGE.

That "defeat" fueled me to such a degree that I was NOT willing to let them lose again. Oh baby nahhh. This time while affirming, there was so much frustration, anger and hopelessness but I didn't care cos affirming and changing MYSELF was the last resort and I KNOW IT HAD TO HAPPEN. Also, I think anger is one of THE BEST emotion/motivation to get ur manifestations♡ RAMPAGE BITCHES‼️

I affirmed and ignored the 3d even when they were showing the win %tage as 87 vs 13. 13 was my teams winning %tage💀. It was like that for a solid hour and the people in my gc LITERALLY switched teams thinking they'll lose BUT NOT ME BITCH. YOURE GONNA SEE ME WIN AND RUB IT IN UR FAKEASS FACE, ofc i did rub it in later & I roasted tf outta them at the end and It felt so good🤭

Even when the win percentage for my team was less than 10% I DIDNT CARE. I kept affirming and was in a shabbat state. Actually feeling and visualing(accidental lol, I'm a daydreamer to my core) everything I would do when we win. I thought about all the conversations I'd say to those people who thought their whack team is gonna win AND GUESS WHAT! I SAID THE SAME WORDS, WORD TO WORD and I felt so fulfilled.

My affirmations:

• This will be the first success story of me bending the result of an international match to MY will.

● I DONT CARE IM NOT GONNA LOSE AGAIN. NO FUCKING WAY (yes the all caps was necessary. I yelled that in my head way too many times 💀)

• Nothing is impossible for me/ I'm a master Manifester

• I make the impossible happen

• it's SO easy for me to win always

That's it. And I got it. This success story made me realize how easy loass manifestation is. All we have to do is persist and our desires will fall into our laps. I'll never forget today🥺🤍

[bylertruther]

can i hear all of your thoughts on the ballad of songbirds and snakes? 👀

no ❤️ hehe ofc! this is just going to be a braindump bc it's been a while, but here are my thoughts! (under a read-more bc i be talkin)

first, i'd like to say that i was never one of those people that went ugh 🙄 who wants to hear about the bad guy 🙄. never! not even a little bit. snow was one of my favorites and i thoroughly LOVED every scene he was in. years later, those are the ones that stand out to me every time. also, i felt that collins had done a superb job of showing her understanding of such topics and her literary prowess, so even on a more technical note, i still couldn't understand why people were disappointed or thought it would be a fluff piece.

moving on to the book itself now: i liked this book because of snow 🤍 and the way it approached certain themes, like poverty and war and the politics stemming from both.

every page felt gripping to me, because snow is very much a Thinker^tm. a plotter. a schemer. he can never not be present, not even just in the moment, but in both the past and the future, too. he has this dogged persistence that was refreshing to me, bc it's very different to how katniss felt as someone that was thrust into something she never wanted in the first place. katniss was born into poverty and largely accepted that, bc she had no choice. snow was not, and thus can not accept this fate for himself, and fights it every step of the way.

as for poverty, i don't think that a lot of people understand just how much it can influence not just your entire life, but also the lives of your children should you keep the cycle going. it's something that demands to be known and dealt with; something that dictates how every little interaction with the world can or will go. it's especially brutal if you haven't always been poor or if you live in an area with such wealth inequality, like snow.

the importance and constant presence and reminder of hunger / food, appearances / clothes, outside mannerisms / internal monologue, drive / desperation, and the reasoning behind snow's actions make this exceptionally clear, i feel. you're not allowed to forget, not even for a moment, because snow can never forget. he also can't afford to, because his future and his social standing within society depends on it. he simply has no choice in the matter, esp not with his obsessive tendencies.

we're reminded again and again that snow doesn't have the same safety net as his peers. he has to be the best and he has to fight for everything, because otherwise he won't be able to pursue higher education and has no way of moving up. every decision that he makes is informed by that. when he sways, he inevitably remembers what it's like to be poor, and quickly shifts gears.

he remembers the war. he remembers all that he lost. he remembers what they had to do to survive. he carries that with him all the time. he's always going to look out for himself and ultimately do what's in his best interest, because there is no one that's able to do that for him. he has to do that not just for himself, but his family, too. you don't have to agree with him and the many justifications he makes for himself, but he is fighting his own fight the same way that other characters like katniss and gale were.

i'm reminded of this quote from lucy herself:

"people aren't so bad, really," she said. "it's what the world does to them. like us in the arena. we did things in there we'd never have considered if they'd just left us alone."

and i don't say this to excuse the things he does, or later goes on to do, but to reiterate that throughout the entirety of this book, snow is in a fight for survival. he even says that what he sees in district twelve reminds him of his time in the arena. of course, he's twisted this into a justification of his superiority, but he's acknowledging this point, and adding that "it takes very little to bring the beast to the surface."

like. everyone reacts to hardship and war differently. you have characters like gale and snow. you have characters like tigress, peeta, and sejanus. and you have characters like katniss and lucy gray.

there are millions of people in the world that wish to escape the boot. and there are many that when they do, rather than throwing it out entirely, they make the conscious decision to put it on themselves be the one to do the stepping this time. i don't agree with it, but i find it endlessly fascinating, because of how human it is. many people respond to cruelty with cruelty—eye for an eye—and justify it to themselves by equating it to order.

i also just loved, loved, loved how she dived into war and post-war society, too. the things people are willing to do to survive (cannibalism, crime, sex work, etc). what happens afterward (no-waste policies/culture, the winner imposes retaliatory violence and sanctions against the loser, propaganda culture, hostility and prejudice between opposing groups / classes, ptsd, restructuring society in such a way that it cannot happen again, etc).

it's like. i just. clenches fist. i love it when there are reasons behind evil. snow wasn't born that way—he was made. circumstance and his own decision-making along the way are what make him the man he is. there are many moments within the story that show you that he is capable of feeling things for others, many points where he does struggle to make a decision, and many points where he struggles even after making that decision, that show you that he is incredibly and undoubtedly human. that anyone is capable of being like him. that there are many people in this world that are just like him. this story is every bit as human and real and fascinating as the first three books were, and it didn't even need fantasy elements to make it so, bc it's just Real Life.

i focused on snow here bc he's my favorite, but i also really enjoyed sejanus and lucy gray, too. the tragedy of sejanus and his inability to be anything but himself is chef's kiss. when he cries out for his ma? omfg. SINISTER!!!!!!!!!!!! EVIL, EVIL, EVIL. and so real. and lucy gray is just that girl, that character, the One. if she were a vine, it'd be this one: "i'm a bad bitch you can't kill me". it didn't matter what snow did, bc she lived on despite his efforts and got the last laugh. "it's the things we love most that destroy us" #true but also not true bc he brought all that on himself, not her. and there are many such dr gauls in the world, too, trying their best to poison enough minds that it keeps their machine going even after they're gone. many such people that don't know when to stop or more accurately simply don't care to.

anyway. i loved it <3 loved it so much tht it bumped snow up to number 1 fave of the series and made me weep n wail bc i need more content from ms collins immediately </3

[kimtaegis]

annie i keep having really bad dreams :( remember when he slightly talked about it? i'm so tired atp... i believe 100% that this is just another symptom of my (lack of) mental health

i wake up feeling so disconcerted, my heart also feels heavy, it's so weird :( and this time there even was a member in the dream going through what was happening too :( agh

again at school, almost always in this place, even after i'm done with it since 2021. this is probably 'cause this was the only place i went to with constancy my whole life, the place that showed me my biggest fears and insecurities. i still don't have a job and i still didn't get into college, so where else would it be? ofc my mind uses that against me and then adds terrible, violent and chaotic contexts :( i'll never forget this dream

I’m really sorry to hear you have such bad dreams :( I suffer from nightmares, too, so I know exactly how awful and disturbing they can be. we’re supposed to recharge at night and wake up at ease and energised, but instead our brains psychologically torment us while we sleep. I also always dream of my school time, it’s fascinating that we have such similar experiences it seems…argh I wish I could help you some way, but unfortunately we’re in the same boat 😔 I guess all I can do is wishing for a peaceful sleep for both of us tonight 🤍

[a-crepusculo]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY to the the sweetest, kindest most loving and beautiful person ever! Mia you beautiful, beautiful soul I love you so much, this day has a very special place in my heart because you have a special place in my heart and you always will, no matter what. I’m so so glad that you’re here with us and that I get to know someone as amazing and incredible as you

Mia, my love, you seriously mean the world to me and so much more. You are always so so kind and so supportive of everyone in this fandom and my mood always gets a 1000x better when I see you on my dash. You never fail to put a smile to my face. Seriously you’re an absolute angel sent to us for the heavens above, the purest soul, the most wonderful and beautiful person I know and such a bright presence here and I couldn’t be more grateful for you. Our talks are make me so happy, literally have me all giggling and shit, I love how much we fangirl together over anything and everything. And I so appreciate you always reminding me to take care of myself, you are always make me feel so loved and appreciated and cared for. You’re one of the very first people I started to feel truly comfortable with here. You’re simply perfect Mia, or as close to perfect as a human being can get and I feel so lucky and glad that I get to know you and be your friend.

Also, your talent??? Through the freaking roof!! You never fail to leave me incredibly speechless after anything you put out even if it’s the smallest drabble. Your writing is always so freaking beautiful and so detailed and everything is so well thought out. Plus you know that I adore M&E with my entire heart. These two>>>>> they own me, body and soul. I would die for them. Their dynamic always puts a smile to my face and I just love how they love each other. And your angst!!!! Literally heart wrenching but so so good (unrelated but I saw that you might continue Water Under The Bridge👀 and (no pressure ofc) I would LOVE that, I think about that series all the time)

Mia, I hope you have the most wonderful day ever because you deserve that and so much more. You deserve the entire world and everything good in it and god I wish I could give that to you. Never forget how amazing and brilliant and magnificent and loved and appreciated you are and I will personally remind you of that every single chance I get. Thank you for being the angel you are, for simply being you. I care for, appreciate and love you more than any words can describe. May all your dreams and wishes come true and I’m sending you so love and hugs and some cake and once again, happy birthday, my darling. Love youuuu so much❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Oh my darling Maurine 🥹🤍

Girl, seriously… What did I do to deserve you? 😭

I remember back when you first reached out to me and we talked and idk why but I just felt we ‘clicked’ together. And I know that sounds a bit cliché but I’m just so so SOOO grateful that I got the chance to know you, to fangirl with you, to share theories with you, and most importantly… to be your friend <3333

You are one of the reasons that I can keep doing what I’m doing right now, and I am the one that should really THANK YOU for being the most supportive and loving friend ever. You are a true gem, my friend, please don’t ever forget that okay????

Last (but definitely not least), I am here to scream from the top of my lungs: I LOVE YOUUUUU SM BABE. Again; thank you for your kind wishes and constant support, my friend. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to repay you… but I hope the universe will repay you 1728373773728494 times better 😭🤍

Sending you all my love and hugs, dearest Maurine. I’m always here for you, whenever you need me. Also pleaseeeee don’t forget to drink your vitamins, rest up, and don’t sleep too late!!! 🥰