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moonlitluka · 1 year

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DOPPELGÄNGER

When the group goes off to college Randy becomes Mr. Popular leaving Y/N in the dust | Randy Meeks x Reader | Angst

“Randy! Hey.” I called out as I jogged up to him. He turned around and gave me a soft smile. “Y/N hey”

I hadn’t seen him in what felt like forever. I mean sure I’d seen him but it was different ever since we got to college. We used to be attached at the hip and now we just passed each other on the way to class or sat together at lunch.

We barely spoke anymore. Not about anything below surface level at least. Just about school or Sid. I missed him.

“I uh wanted to know…” I stuttered. “If you wanted to hang out tonight. Just the two of us, like old times?” I finished. I saw his smile widen as he thought about it.

“Oh I uh I would love to,” he said “great!” I laughed. His smile fell. That was weird. “But I can’t. I have plans with some friends from film studies. I would cancel if I could but we’ve been planning this for a week-“ he ranted.

What friends? I’ve never heard about such friends. “Oh…” was all I said. My smile now gone as well. There was clear tension in the air.

I heard his shoes stumble against the gravel under us as he took a step toward me. “Y/N I’m sorry. We can totally hang out this weekend.” He offered.

I knew it was unfair of me to want him to cancel and spend time with me. He had plans before I get it. I just wished I didn’t always feel like I was pushed to the side by him.

“No yeah it’s fine. We don’t have to hang out I get it you have new friends.” I whispered. Maybe it was petty but it just slipped out.

“What? No that’s not it-“ I turned my back on him mid sentence and just left. I didn’t want to risk crying in front of him. It was stupid it was one night but it felt like the last few months it’s been time after time. Being told he’s busy or has to study. If he’s not studying he’s at a party.

I don’t know. I just feel like I don’t know him anymore. What happened to the dork who didn’t even know how to talk to girls. Let alone flirt with sorority girls at parties.

I decided to walk to the local coffee shop to cheer myself up. Randy, Sid, and I had came here our first day on campus and it became a favorite place of mine.

As I walked in, I saw a glance of a guy in a light green t-shirt. His back was turned as he looked at the book in front of him. He had brown fluffy hair and was wearing khakis.

I smiled remembering the day you met Randy. That same stupid outfit. “Y/N?” The barista called out. I went and grabbed my drink. “Thanks.” I said looking back at the boy.

‘Maybe I’ll talk to him.’ I thought. Talk to him and say what? ‘Oh hey you look just like the guy I’m hopelessly in love with even though he’s currently ignoring me and practically kicked me to the curb? Wanna hang?’

Wait a second. Did I just say I love Randy..? Like Randy Meeks? Geeky video store Randy? Oh god am I sick? Why did I say that?

With the newfound panic I had caused myself I decided to run out of that coffee shop and run home.

Time skip

I was laying in my bed writing in my diary trying to figure out somehow what I was feeling. Was I really in love with Randy? Was that why his rejection hurt so bad?

A knock on my dorm room door interrupted my thoughts. That’s weird, Sid had a key. Who else would be at our dorm. Maybe Derek looking for Sidney?

I walked over to the door and opened it. “Y/N…hi.” Randy stood in the fluorescent hallway. He awkwardly reached his hand up behind his neck.

“What do you want?” I asked. He pushes past me into my room uninvited. “Sure come in” I sighed rolling my eyes shutting the door behind him.

“Look, I’m sorry if I’ve given you the impression that I’m too busy for you. You’re my friend more than any of these film people I’ve met here. I don’t have ‘new friends’ it’s not like that. I swear.” He ranted. I just listened.

“I feel horrible.” He finished. I sheepishly nodded. He sat on my bed patting the spot next to him for me. I sat next to him as he not so subtly looked me up and down.

I felt butterflies in my stomach but tried to ignore it. “I’m sorry if I was being petty.” I said scoffing at myself. I felt stupid.

He put his hand on my knee and smiled at me. “It wasn’t petty. You were just upset, rightfully so. I haven’t been fair to you. I’ve ditched on our movie nights so many times I can’t excuse it. All I can do is say I’m sorry. And please forgive me.” He squeezed my knee as if to give me some extra reassurance.

I giggle but it was almost sad. “You wanna know something stupid?” I laughed out. “Sure.”

“I was at the coffee shop earlier, and this boy was there and he looked just like you.” I started and he just chuckled waiting for me to continue.

“He wore your green shirt from the day we met. I swear it was a spitting image. It’s stupid, part of me hoped we’d get the chance to talk.” He just looked at me confused.

“I wanted it to be you. Like somehow you teleported there or something.” I laughed. Why was I telling him this..?

“I guess I’m not as over you as I thought that I was. And I thought I was.” I sighed. I guess this was it. I spit it out it’s too late now.

“What..? Over me?” He gasped. I saw the gears moving in his brain. “Truth is no ones like you. A lookalike could never take your place. I just thought that I would get over this stupid crush with time. But then it never left.” I finished.

“I’m sorry…” I whispered. I knew he probably didn’t expect this to be the conversation we would have. “Wow…you like me..?” He said shyly.

At this point I felt like I couldn’t even look at him. I just let my head hang and nodded. “Oh my god..” was all he said. This was a mistake.

“I shouldn’t have told you-“ “No! I’m glad you did.” He interrupted. With this I had enough courage to lock eyes with him. I saw his eyes flicker between my eyes to my lips.

“Can I kiss you?” He blurted out. “Yeah.” I whispered. With that, his hands came up to my face softly cupping my cheeks. He smiled at me before leaning in and letting his lips softly linger over mine. I leaned in too letting us finally connect.

He controlled the kiss as he moved his hand to the back of my neck pulling me in more. I swear I heard a whimper escape him.

He pulled away hesitantly with a smile on his face. I couldn’t hold back my shy smile from him. “Thank you for telling me even if it was hard. I feel the same way Y/N, I always have. The only reason I pushed you away was because I figured you didn’t like me. I was trying to get over you. I’m sorry about all of that.” He said letting his fingers brush the hair behind my ear.

“It doesn’t matter anymore. All that matters is this.” I said leaning in to kiss him again.

#Spotify #scream #scream fluff #scream six #scream spoilers #scream vi #randy meeks #randy meeks x reader #scream 2

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starlitangels · 2 years

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DTR

So, between the Dinner Date video and the sleep aid video, Vincent’s title changed from just “A Flirty Vampire” to “Your Flirty Vampire Boyfriend.” But we never got the conversation in-between resulting in such a change. The DTR (Define the Relationship) as it were. This is the Vincent and Lovely I was brainrotting for and posted about two days ago! Told ya it was still coming! 1.5k words (almost exactly!)

—

“Vincent?” I called the second I stepped through the door to the house. I kicked off my shoes in the pile of both of ours that intermingled next to the garage door.

Zip! “Hey lovely. How was class?” Vincent asked.

I smiled. “It was alright,” I replied.

His expression fell a little. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing. Just have had a lot on my mind, that’s all,” I replied.

Vincent bit at his lower lip, like he was trying to decide how to respond to that.

“Vincent—can we talk?” I asked.

If he wasn’t already so pale, he would have lost all the color in his face. “O-of course. If that’s what you want. Sure. Do… do you wanna sit down?” He gestured toward the living room. I nodded. He led the way to the living room and perched on the very edge of one end of the sofa. I plopped down on the other end, turning to face him. He twisted to make sure he was facing me too. “What… what do you want to talk about?”

I swore under my breath. “I’ve been thinking about this all day but, now that the moment is here I’m kinda freaking out,” I said.

“Are you thinking about moving out?” Vincent looked heartbroken, but I already saw reluctant acceptance forming in his eyes.

“No!” I exclaimed. I swore again, quietly. “Look. I’ve been living here for a while. And I’ve really enjoyed it. You’ve been a great person to live with.” I sucked in a deep breath through clenched teeth. “I just think I’m ready to talk about…” I closed my eyes to fortify myself and opened them again. “Us.”

Vincent’s lips parted in surprise. “Okay,” he said softly.

“There… there’s no beating around the bush with the fact that I’ve found you attractive since the night we met,” I continued. That sparked a tiny smile on his face. “And our little cat-and-mouse game was fun. Teasing, flirting. I enjoyed it, before—” I didn’t finish that sentence. I didn’t have to. The way Vincent’s jaw clenched showed he understood. “Dancing around my non-belief in vampires, I wasn’t sure, back then, where we’d end up. I thought the vampire thing was mostly just messing around. I liked… God, this feels embarrassing to admit. I liked the way your little coy smirks made my heart flutter. That time I came home and you were just on my bed, the impulsive part of me would have run away with you right then if you asked.”

Vincent laughed quietly. “It wouldn’t have come to that,” he remarked. “I’m perfectly content to stay in Dahlia.”

“I know. But the fact remains that I would have. I wanted you that bad.” I took another deep breath. “And then… then Adam.” I swallowed hard. Vincent’s face turned sad. “And I had to reassess everything. I had magic I’d never known about, borne out of me by trauma that I’m still recovering from.” I licked my lips, realizing how dry my mouth was getting with all the talking. “But, in the wake of that, you… you stepped up in a different way. I know some of that was fuelled by guilt. I maintain that it wasn’t entirely your fault—if I wasn’t a dumbass and went back to the park after you told me not to, it could have been avoided. I know you don’t see it that way. And that’s fine.

“But you let me stay here. You opened your home to me when mine no longer felt safe. You’ve held me when I woke up from nightmares more times than I can bother to count. You’ve helped me take control of my life back and helped me find resources to heal.

“All while asking nothing in return. Expecting nothing. Just… giving me space.”

I closed my eyes.

“All of this to say, Vincent—I do have a point, surprisingly—I’ve really appreciated everything you’ve done for me. I’ve loved getting to know you the normal way. I’m grateful you’ve let me set the pace of this, pushing nothing on me. I can’t imagine a lot of other people would have done the same to the degree you’ve done if they were faced with the same circumstances.”

Vincent reached out as though to set a hand on my knee, but rested it on the couch cushion near my knee instead. Never touching without permission. “It’s been the least I can do,” he said.

“No, it’s not the least. It’s a lot. And I don’t want you to think it’s gone unnoticed.”

“Well, thank you,” he said, sounding awkward. “But I don’t think I deserve it.”

I put my hand on top of his. “Vincent,” I said. He immediately tensed under my hand. “We’ve started a good thing, this little life we’ve carved out with each other. I’ve loved it. Making dinner together, going out for dessert. The little things. I… I still really like you, Vincent. It should come as no surprise that I still find you incredibly attractive. You are. You’re handsome and you’re kind and gentle and sweet and I’ve never minded the flirting. I liked it before Adam, and I still do. I appreciate that you backed it up a little. I needed that. But now…” I swallowed and took a deep fortifying breath, steeling myself to make sure I was brave enough to say the words out loud.

“Now I think I’m ready to try being in a relationship with you, if that’s what you want.”

He blinked slowly at me. “Lovely…”

“I… I’d like to be your partner, Vincent. If that’s… something you’d be down for.”

His mouth hung agape. “Can… can I kiss you?” he whispered.

“Please,” I breathed.

He was beside me on the sofa in an instant, cradling my face gently in both his long, slender hands.

Delicate and tender, he brushed his lips against mine. Barely enough to qualify as a kiss. Careful not to go too far. Completely ignoring the shock of static electricity that snapped between us from my new powers.

Just that tiny speck of contact left us both a little breathless. He pulled back just enough to meet my eyes. His were wide and his lips were parted. In the half-light of the living room, that we hadn’t even bothered to flip the switch to see, his pupils were dilated wide, nearly swallowing the silver of his irises. But not the same black his eyes had become when he snapped in the park and drank my blood. That had been predatory and all-consuming. This was different.

I tried to calm the raging beat of my heart in my chest, staring back at him with a similar expression. Our breath mingled in the air between us, hot and heavy.

At the same moment, we lurched toward each other and crashed our lips together. His mouth was strong, but gentle. Never pushing against me too hard. I grabbed at his shoulders, pulling him as close to me as I could get him, not resisting when his hand found my thigh and hooked it up over him until I was straddling his lap.

Tongues got involved only seconds after.

But when Vincent’s hand started to tug up my shirt, I grabbed his wrist and pulled away. “Wait,” I whispered, panting. “I… I don’t think I’m ready for more than this, yet.”

He nodded, breathing hard, and withdrew his hand. “Okay,” he said. “Whatever you’re comfortable with. You’re still setting the pace, lovely.”

Swallowing, I nodded. “Thank you, Vincent.” I rested my forehead against his. He breathed deeply as our eyes closed. The hand he’d withdrawn from my shirt cupped the side of my face, and we just stayed there. Calming down our racing heartbeats.

“I’m, uh, I’m guessing this means I get to introduce myself as your boyfriend, now?” he asked. I peeked one eye open to see a playful grin on his face. Almost teasing and impish, but not quite.

“I’d like that, yeah,” I said. He breathed a laugh.

Through my peeked eye, I saw him open his wider. “When did the… did you turn the lights on?” He looked around.

I leaned up. The lights were all on. The overheads and the lamps on the end tables.

“No?” I said.

In that moment, they all shut off. My magic caught in the Core in my chest.

Vincent threw his head back against the backrest of the sofa and laughed. “You are amazing, lovely.” He brushed my cheek with his thumb. “I’m grateful for this chance you’re giving me. I don’t plan to ever take it for granted. Nor the feelings I have for you.”

“Me neither. I’m excited to give this—to give us—a shot.”

“I am too.” He smiled that charming, flirtatious smile of his. “Can I kiss you again?”

“Please do.”

He leaned up and met my lips, his fingers gentle but firm on either side of my face. I would never get over the feeling of his lips on mine.

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Tag list: @zozo-01 @thegoldenlittlerose

#Redacted ASMR #fic #Redacted Vincent #Redacted Lovely #Vincent Solaire #Lovely #Vincent #Redacted Audio #Starlit Fic

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as-told-by-fangirls · 27 days

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Hands to Myself | Part 2

Plot: It’s the next morning at Harrison’s flat and you have no intention of leaving. You might even stay another night.

Pairing: Reader x Harrison Osterfield

Warnings: implied smut (talking about sex), swearing

Masterlist

* * * * *

After putting our clothes back on, I laid in bed next to Harrison in peaceful silence. Sometimes it was just nice to be with him. We didn’t have to be doing anything, just having him there holding me was enough.

I listened to the sound of his heartbeat as I traced shapes on his bare chest. I could occasionally feel him placing small kisses on my head, and the feeling of his warm hands rubbing my back.

We stayed that way for a while until I started to get a bit restless.

“Would you like to go play some games?” He asked noticing my change in disposition.

“Sure” I said with a smile.

He got up off the bed and before I could get up he was picking me up and carrying me to the living area. I swear being with him was like being in a romance novel. I giggled as he gently tossed me on the couch.

“What would you like to play?” He asked smiling.

“Mario Kart”

“Prepared to lose again love?” He said smirking

I giggled “no, I’ve been practicing, I’m gonna kick your butt”

“We’ll see about that”

He started the game and sat down next to me, handing me a controller.

It was always fun playing games with Harrison, even if they always ended up getting interrupted by our feral urge to touch each other. I wondered if this would be one of those times it wouldn’t happen, but I had little hope in that, and honestly wouldn’t be disappointed either way.

Despite my determination to actually play the game well I ended up doing poorly. I was having a hard time focusing on anything other than a shirtless Harrison lounging on the couch beside me. In the end I came in 9th place.

“Gonna kick my butt huh?” Harrison said sarcastically with a smirk.

“I want a do-over” I said giggling

“Of course you do” he said chuckling and starting another race.

This time I focused, or at least tried, focusing directly at the TV and not at Harrison’s silhouette in my peripheral. I was actually doing quite well until a red shell hit me, pushing me down to 5th place where I ended up finishing. I laughed a bit to myself.

“Okay, so maybe I’m not as good as I thought. I apologize for challenging you” I laughed.

He chuckled at me “apology accepted, but only cause you’re so cute”

I blushed “shut up” I said nudging his shoulder with mine. He nudged me back and I nudged him harder. He playfully pulled me into his lap.

“You are too much sometimes” he said holding me close to him

“Then find less” I said sarcastically, smiling small.

“I don’t want to, I like you the way you are” he said with a soft smile.

I bit my lip, staring into his bright blue eyes. I couldn’t handle it anymore. He was intoxicating, a drunk feeling I craved. It was the healthiest relationship, of any kind, that I’d ever had and it consumed every part of my soul.

Eventually I leaned in to kiss him, my hands placed on his cheeks. The kiss started off soft and slow, eventually escalating into something more needy and passionate.

I could feel Harrison’s hands gripping my thighs and butt as our lips molded together. “How far are we taking it this time?” He asked between kisses.

“How far do you wanna go?” I asked, kissing down his jawline.

“I’m fine with this for now, we’ll save the really fun stuff for later” he said winking at me.

I smirked “you gonna let me stay the night again?” I asked before kissing him again.

“Of course babygirl” he said kissing me again.

We continued to make out for several minutes. During that time all I could think of was the things he planned to do to me later. I thought about all the nights I had secretly spent here and all the things we’d been doing behind closed doors. My thoughts got the best of me and I breathlessly pulled away from his lips for a moment. “Hey baby…?”

“What is it darling?” He asked

“We’ve never talked about how this whole thing between us started” I said, running my fingers in his hair smiling.

He smirked “you sure you’re ready to talk about that?”

I giggled “I wanna know everything”

He smiled and started to kiss down my neck “when I first met you I never imagined we’d be where we are now, especially after I got to know you better. You were the my best friend, my partner in crime. I didn’t think I needed anything more”

I sighed contently listening to him whisper as he kissed my neck and collarbone “what changed?” I asked.

“Seeing you in that fucking dress at the club, the night of the movie premiere” he looked up at me, looking directly into my eyes “the way your body moved, I never knew you could move like that and I found myself thinking things about you I never thought I would”

“Like what?” I asked.

He smirked “wondering what else I might find underneath that dress. I wanted to tear it off you right then and there”

I bit my lip “the way you looked at me that night, your eyes were so dark and wild and filled with lust and it was so hot”

“Is that what made you leave with me?” He asked

“Well that and the fact that the way your body felt on mine while we danced drove me insane” I said giggling “I always thought you were attractive, but in that moment you were the hottest person in that room”

“It took everything in me to not fuck you in the back of that cab” he said, his hands roaming every inch of my body “by the time we finally got into my hotel room I couldn’t help it anymore”

I smirked “It felt so bad, but so good at the same time.”

“I’m well aware of how good it felt babygirl” he said smirking as he placed his hands on my butt, squeezing gently, and pulling me closer. “So good that I keep coming back for more”

I shivered a bit. Even after all we’d been through the past few months he still never failed to give me a feeling nobody else could. “Shit, I think I’m addicted to you at you at this point” I confessed, even though I was sure he already knew.

“You’re not the only one” he said pulling me back in to kiss him again. “I can’t wait to fuel our addiction again tonight, to feel every inch of you”

“I can’t wait either” I said, biting my lip.

I felt his hands move up to my back, rubbing gently. He smiled at me “you’re beautiful, you know that?”

“That’s what you keep telling me” I said smiling softly.

“That’s because you are” he said kissing my forehead.

Moments like this was what gave me hope that this thing we had going on was more than just friends-with-benefits. We weren’t sure what exactly it was, but it was ours and nobody else’s. It was more than just lust, it was emotional, a real connection.

“Thank you” I said smiling as I cuddled into his chest. “I’m glad I have you” I said softly.

He smiled and held me close “you’ll always have me”

“Promise?”

“I promise. After what we’ve been through I don’t think I could ever live without you now. I don’t know what kind of relationship we’ll have in the end, but I’m never leaving”

I felt my heart pounding in my chest at the thought of him being a constant in my life. “What do you want our endgame relationship to be?” I asked, hoping he’d answer me honestly.

“I want what we have now, but more. Maybe we’ll make it official, we’ll tell our friends and families” he said, playing with my hair “but other than that, I hope nothing between us changes”

I smiled. “I hope we can make that happen. But for now, we’ll just let things progress naturally, like we have been”

“Of course babe, nobody has to know what we do when we’re alone. It’s our little secret”

“They’d shit themselves if they knew” I said giggling.

“You’re not wrong” he laughed.

We cuddled on the couch for a while before deciding to make some lunch and watch a movie. It felt good to finally talk about what we had felt that night and how it led to all this. I was always curious about that, given that it all happened so fast.

I wondered how things would change if I was called to do another project, or if Harrison decided to return to acting. At this point I wasn’t busy with anything expect for a few editing projects that paid well enough to keep me on my feet. Harrison was doing a lot of charity work to help protect the environment, which required him to travel a bit, but not lately. The last time he had left he was in the arctic to observe penguins and whales in their natural habitats. He invited me to go to help him film footage, but also because we were right in the middle of our little fling and we couldn’t stand the thought of being separated for 3 weeks.

It was weird to think that nobody thought twice about it. Our friends said nothing, just told us to have fun. But, of course, it was under the guise that I’d be helping him film and edit footage. I did work in the filming industry so they probably didn’t think much of it. I’d go along with him on this trip and get some great footage and we’d come home. What they didn’t know about was all the not-so-subtle flirting while we watched penguins who seemed to be very interested in watching us, the stolen kisses as we watched whales from a boat, and all the steamy nights spent behind locked doors.

But how many more times could we lie to our friends before they suspicious. We spent a lot of time together, maybe too much. They’d figure it out eventually, I was positive of that. If they confronted us about it, would we lie, or tell them the truth?

To me it didn’t matter, because in that moment I suddenly felt Harrison’s hand sliding up and down my inner thigh. What our friends didn’t know wouldn’t hurt them.

I smirked at him and whispered “ready for round 2?”

* * * * *

To be continued…

#fanfiction #fanfic #smut #harrison osterfield #tom holland #zendaya

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cdmagic1408 · 1 year

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CD's Movie Poll #1 Winner

The Road to El Dorado

* fair warning: spoilers ahead *

Kicking off the start of my movie poll/movie watching series is Dreamworks’ The Road to El Dorado!

ngl this film has been on my watchlist for quite a while, and yet I never got around to actually watching it until now! (or rather, not until the other night lol) I’d heard so many great things about it before like the memorable characters, the kind of 2D animation that you really don’t see in Dreamworks films these days, and of course, the music!

I will say that I really enjoyed all three of those things in some ways and others 🤩

Right off the bat, Kevin Kline and Kenneth Branagh have really great chemistry! In fact, I loved their chemistry so much that I wanted to see footage of them recording their lines. so I legit looked up something like “road to el dorado behind the scenes” on youtube as soon as I finished watching the film and found that not only did they do ALL their voice recording sessions together in the same room but they also used plastic swords and playfully had it at each other!! AHHHHHH! so good!! 😂 ⚔️

but yeah they're hilarious! both on screen and behind it. I also just love the fact that both Kevin and Kenneth come from theater backgrounds cause I think that definitely added to how well they portrayed being con men 🎭

Ofc actors aside, some of you probably know this about me already, but I’m a BIG fan of dynamic duos when it comes to media...

I loved the straight man-ness that was Tulio, and he was probably my favorite of the two. I tend to like characters that find comfort in strategy, cause I tend to be that kinda person too. I know sometimes the logical and level-headed ones aren't always funny, entertaining, or the people to root for in the slightest. But Tulio definitely isn't one of them. I found myself chuckling at a good number of things he said and did like not believing in fate simply cause he relies on loaded dice for example, plus his sarcasm, and how much he tried to compose his patience as well

Miguel was great too! It was fun how much he loved the city of El Dorado and just wanted to take it all in, and his endless optimism of course! But he definitely needed more guitar playing scenes! idk there’s something about those characters who just have an instrument to play at the ready for dramatics that’s really humorous for me, it’s almost, if not totally, breaking the fourth wall in a way 😆

I also really enjoyed the Chief, I love how it’s implied that he knew all along Miguel and Tulio were humans and not gods and yet he still liked them and let them stay anyway. that said, it's kind of a shame that the pair didn't stay in el dorado cause there genuinely were people there who adored them when clearly the people of Spain didn’t…heck they didn't seem to have a problem that they weren't actually gods!

and you have to admit, Miguel and Tulio did match the stone art of the gods quite nicely, like the resemblance there was freaky 😳

Chel was great as well, her cleverness and way of sweet talking definitely stood out to me the most about her character, and I also really loved her voice! 😌

and Altivo the horse? I wanna say he was truly Miguel’s companion when compared to Tulio earning the heart of Chel. after all, Miguel was the one who wanted to rescue him and bring him along, and I was genuinely happy when they decided to bring him on their journey cause the horse wasn’t a bad guy, like he not only gave Tulio and Miguel the keys to escape the ship, but he wasn’t spiteful to them or anything. basically what I’m trying to say is he isn’t how Maximus treated Flynn Rider/Eugene Fitzherbert initially, horse to con man

As for the villain? well…this is the first of three times I’m gonna be saying, “I got some Aladdin vibes from this movie" 😅 👉👈 which isn’t completely a bad thing by any means!

But yeah…I immediately got Jafar vibes the minute Tzekel-Kan came on screen (also I had to look up this name cause I didn’t catch it very well while I was watching this film, I just kept calling him “Priest Guy”)

I mean…the fact that he can do sorcery, on top of serving a sweet kind-hearted ruler, tangling with not just one but two thieves, anybody picking up what I’m putting down? Yeah that’s really all I gotta say about that guy 🤷🏻‍♀️

also I swear to god that Jim Cummings is in literally everything that was 2D-animated in the 1990s-2000s! and he's always gotta play that big tough guy. Again, that also reminded me of Aladdin. but then again the conquistador didn’t really have that big of a role in this, at the very least I just hope he gave T-K what he got coming to him

I guess just to get it out of the way, I was admittedly humming "One Jump Ahead" in the beginning when Tulio and Miguel are getting chased through the city, but that’s all there is in terms of Aladdin similarities the way i see it

lastly in terms of the characters and cast, I gotta give credit to Elton John for being part of it too! I mean who doesn't love a singing narrator? and he and Tim Rice did an awesome job crafting the soundtrack for this film. every song was absolutely BEAUTIFUL 🎶 ✨

Needless to say, the animation was 👌 and the opening sequence was definitely one of my favorites throughout the whole film as well as the expressions and the solid movements of the characters, very well done no question there. oh! and how there were just gold objects of anything from butterflies to apples in el dorado! they didn’t call it the city of gold for nothing! ✨✨✨

but in the end, did it really have go the route of the overall goal is get all the gold by the end only to actually lose most, if not all, of it by the end? I just feel like that plot line is done a lot in movies. tho to be fair, this was made in the 2000s so heck, it probably began that trend. But I’ve found in recent years that when it comes to treasure hunting movies, this exact scenario happens just repeatedly and it’s nothing new. I’d say movies like The Goonies and Uncharted are two that come to mind for me that have this happen...

Now there’s no way I can conclude my thoughts here without saying how AMAZING the “It’s Tough to Be a God” sequence was! I LOVED the “It's Tough to Be a God" sequence from the singing of the two leads to the colors to the everything about it, it was all magnificent! I'd arguably say it was my favorite scene in the whole film! And I'd be lying if I said that Miguel and Tulio’s version hasn't been stuck in my head ever since I watched it, because so help me it HAS and STILL IS and why that version is not on Spotify, I have no clue, but it SHOULD be. Again, props to Elton and Tim for writing this song and the others!!

So overall, I thought El Dorado was a great movie! It was definitely worth the watch! It's not perfect by any means, I'm not even sure it's my favorite Dreamworks film, but it was still very fun and entertaining all the same and I'm really glad that I finally got to see it after all these years! 🤗

#the road to el dorado #miguel and tulio #it's tough to be a god #animation review #animated movies #cd's movie poll movies #cdmagic1408

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wiseoldowl72 · 2 years

Text

Precious Moments

My entry for Day Two of #Suptober2022.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/42149211 or text here:

Suptober Day 2 - Pillow talk

Precious Moments

“Hi Daddy!” Michael yells as he runs into the house after coming from Krav Maga for kids as his Papa trails after him. Cas walks tiredly into the kitchen, leans in to give his husband a kiss.

“I’m still getting used to the new floor at the hospital. Thank goodness I’m good with the 12 hour shifts.” Cas strips off the evidence of his new position as an RN in the ER.

“Well, is St. Luke’s even worse than the other place?” Dean says as he takes the potatoes out of the oven. “Let’s have a seat buddy, supper’s ready. Burgers okay with tater tots?” Dean asks. “You have to eat your mandarin oranges too. Hear me?” Dean’s ‘Dad voice’ makes an appearance.

“Papa, will you help me with bedtime? I want to tell you about school and my class?” Michael pleads.

“Finish your dinner and then I will because it is time for your bath, sharing and story time.” Cas reminds him.

Dean and Cas quietly take their spots at the table and hungrily dig into their cheeseburgers and baked potatoes.

“Oh hon, do you want a beer?” Dean had forgotten to ask before they sat. He did remember the butter, sour cream, and chives for the potatoes though.

“Do I like cheeseburgers? Don’t be stupid, of course I want a beer tonight, or two.” Cas responds. “Oh, these are good. I really dislike the cafeteria food or cafe food if I’m unable to get a break.” Dean nods his head in thanks. Turning to his son, Cas said encouragingly, “Michael, just a few bites left and we’ll get started for bed. Good job on eating your fruit first.”

Dean and Cas clink their bottles together as a symbol of surviving another day in this crazy world. Michael finishes up his supper and asks, “Can I please be excused, Papa, Daddy? I’m getting tired and we have to do ‘The Things’ before our cuddle time!”

“Sure thing bud, head on up to the bathroom, Papa will be right up.” Dean smiles at their five year old son remembering when the adoption company called with the exciting news they’d been chosen as parents. “Cas, I’m continually grateful for the gift of our son. I never thought I’d be a Dad.” They were the one to bring Michael Henry Winchester-Novak home from the hospital. He still dreams about those early days. Precious memories recalled while moving about his beloved kitchen starting to pick up the dishes.

“Love, I’m heading up to take care of Michael. Are you alright down here cleaning up and shutting down for the night?” inquires Cas.

“Sure thing,” Dean chuckles,” we do not deviate from the bedtime routine. I’m glad we share this time. I know there will come an age our boy won’t want us to have anything to do with him.” Dean is quite sentimental tonight.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Michael, do you have your pj’s? You are always so sweaty after class. Let’s get your bath run and wash your hair. ” Cas smiles.

“Yes Papa, tonight in class we learned more about why we take martial art classes. It’s so I can protect myself from bullies and be strong like you and Daddy.”

Cas washes his son’s hair while humming along to let Michael know he’s paying attention. There will be a time when he has to tell the boy about the bullies he dealt with in school everyday. Heaven forbid you aren’t the popular or silent kid in the school. Cas distinctly remembers the bruises he came home with because he was smart and engaged in his classes.

“We practiced our bows and when they were used, ducking punches bad people, the proper right way to kick someone if they want to hurt us.” Michael happily chats on about his evening.

“All done boy-o. Let’s get your teeth brushed and hair combed.” Cas says. “Now after we’re done here, what are the next steps?”

“Pillow Time!” Michael yawns.

Cas carries his tired boy to his bedroom with a train theme. “Boy-o, what happened in school today?” He asks after he’s laid down next to Michael in his bed.

“I got asked to be the weather monitor for the week. I look outside every morning and put a sticker on the calendar showing what the weather outside is.” The Kindergartener quietly smiles proudly. “I’m happy it’s finally my turn. I waited so long.” The young child yawns loudly and his mouth drops open. “Can we read now, Papa? I don’t want to fall asleep without cuddling.”

“What is your book of choice tonight, my love?” Cas gently smiles preparing for the best part of the evening.

“I Spy!” Michael answers quickly.

Cas looks over at the group of about a half a dozen I Spy books they have accumulated in the short time Michael has started to read. “How about Spooky Night since it’s October?”

“Sure,” the boy agrees as he curls up on the pillows into his father’s side for quiet and reading time.“

“Can you read the riddle at the bottom of the first page?” “Cas gently prods”

“I think so,” The sleepy boy replies, “I spy a broken…” he looks up to his father for confirmation.

“Good job, that’s exactly what it says.” Cas softly encourages.

Michael looks at the rest of the sentence, “bone and —- BOO!”

“BOO!” Papa grins and tickles his miracle child on the ribs. Cas watches as his son looks for the ‘bones’ on the picture on the page, while he runs his fingers through his honey blonde hair, and he watches long-lashed eyelids slowly close.

Standing up slowly so as to not wake his sleeping child with a Halloween themed pillowcase he smooths out the covers and says, “Ol monons, sleep well as Jack watches over you.”

With one last look, he turns off the bedside light he backs out of the room.

“Dean is standing in the hallways by the door and asks,”Did it all go well?”

“Yes, I’ll fill you in while we cuddle tonight. Is everything shut down?” inquires Cas.

“All dusted and done, Mo grá,” smiles Dean. Using Irish because he wants to teach Michael his familial language.

“Yes, Ol hoath, “ Cas uses native language. “My head is ready to hit the pillow after this shift. Let’s go to bed.”

#suptober22 #suptober day 2 #suptober #spn crack #destiel #domestic #hubands #original child character #easy read #lifeonosage

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briankeene · 2 years

Text

Cognitive Disarray

When I turned 50, I told Mary that I was going to pretend that I was developing dementia, so I could say and do anything I wanted to. Tell an editor how I really feel about them? “Sorry, I have dementia.” Decide I’m tired of signing books and want to go take a nap? “Sorry, I have dementia.”

Mary asked how that would be any different than the way things already were. She said, quote: “You already tell people what you really think of them.” to which I responded, “Nah, I’ve been holding back all these years.”

It was a joke, of course, And before anyone thinks I’m making light of dementia, I’ve had several loved ones and friends go through the utterly gut-wrenching horrors of that disease. Gallows humor is how I’ve always dealt with things, and I don’t care that it’s 2022 — gallows humor is how I’ll continue to deal with things in my fashion.

The problem is, five years after making that joke, I’m starting to wonder if maybe karma has decided to teach me a lesson about that particular gallows humor…

Case in point: When Cathy Gonzalez told me she’d like to see the Clickers franchise continue with new books by J.F. Gonzalez’s friends and peers or by newer authors who were inspired by him, I lined some folks up. The first of those books, CLICKERS NEVER DIE by Stephen Kozeniewski and Wile E. Young, is available in paperback and eBook from the following places:

Paperback: Amazon - BAM - Book Depository - Waterstones

eBook: Kindle - Nook - Kobo

Both Stephen and Wile were fans of Jesus’s, and fans of the Clickers series, and they were the perfect choices to kick off the new continuation of the franchise. I then tapped some other folks to write new additions. Jay Wilburn and Kristopher Rufty were working on one when Jay passed away. Kristopher is finishing it. Jeff Strand and Kenzie Jennings have an invite to write one when deadlines permit. Livia Llewellyn expressed to write a solo novella, focusing on the Dark Ones. And I talked to a few other people, as well.

The problem is, I’m no longer sure who — exactly — I talked to.

I have a memory of approaching author Candace Nola about writing one. In my memory, this occurred at a party Mary and I had here at the house this past summer. In my memory, I advised Candace to reread the original books and think about who she might like to collaborate with, and what her story idea was. I am sure this happened. So, yesterday, when I updated the public on the forthcoming books in the Clickers franchise, I mentioned Candace.

But this was all news to her, and I was absolutely mortified and embarrassed. Even more mortified and embarrassed than when I wore this outfit for charity.

I asked Mary if she remembered me talking about it with Candace at the party. She said, “No, but I remember you telling me you thought Candace would be a good author to play with the Clickers.”

So… even though I have this clear memory of inquiring with Candace, none of that apparently happened.

Now, something you may not know about me is I can be a little bit — just a little, mind you — bit of a hypochondriac. When Geoff Cooper is holding court, he enjoys telling people about how I convinced myself I had cancer while I was writing TERMINAL. Mary loves to tell people about the week I was convinced I had contracted leprosy. Bob Ford can rattle off a litany of the supposed maladies I was positive that I had, and texted him about in a panic. And if Jesus and Tom Piccirilli were still here, they could sigh heavily and nod and tell you about all the times they talked me off the ledge when I called them late at night convinced I’d come down with scurvy or scabies or a host of other things.

So, my immediate go to after yesterday was to worry all night long that maybe I really am beginning to develop dementia. Because this is not the first thing like this that I’ve done, and things like this are happening more and more frequently. Forgetfulness. Confusion. Disarray.

It’s not dementia, of course. I may be a hypochondriac but I’m healthy enough to know that I’m a hypochondriac. No, what it is is exhaustion. At 55, I’m still trying to go at the same speed I ran at 25, 35, and 45. I posted my daily work schedule in my newsletter two weeks ago. Have a look. But now add to that the fact that I’m trying to be a good father to both my sons — ages 14 and 32 (so there’s completely different levels of parenting involved), and trying to make sure the time I spend with Mary is quality time, and then toss in Jesus’s estate, Dave Thomas’s estate (which has been dominating a lot of my free time lately), Scares That Care, wedding planning, and all the other things that don’t constitute writing … and yeah, I’m worn thin.

I’m not complaining about those things. I love my sons and Mary and I have been very good about not letting writing take precedence over any of them. And I love the work we do with Scares that Care. And Jesus’s estate is pretty easy at this point, and Dave’s estate — while currently a lot of work — will get easier in the months to come. And I enjoy the wedding planning, too. (I’ve been put in charge of DJing, and invitations, and as I told Christopher Golden and Maurice Broaddus yesterday, hold off before you book a hotel room folks, because I’m going to get us a group discount on rooms).

So, no. I’m not complaining.

And on top of all those commitments, I still try to take time to interact as much as I can, and respond to folks, etc.

I’ve tried countless times over the years to wall myself off from some of those public duties, but it never sticks. And the reason it never sticks is because I still enjoy it. For every young asshole gunslinger who wants to make a name for themselves by taking a shot at me on Twitter, or for every douchebag who asks me to do something for them and then gets mad when I say no, by and large 90% of the public are great, and I enjoy interacting with them.

I just see that I’m starting to do it at a slower pace.

And that’s probably not a bad thing.

It’s not dementia. It’s just… exhaustion. The type of mental exhaustion that comes with trying to do 50 things for 50 people at once.

So, anyway… yeah, Candace, I want you to write a Clickers novel. I have some ideas for co-writers, and I’ll run those by you next week.

Unless I forget. ;-)

(And if there’s anyone else out there who I actually did approach about doing Clickers, and I didn’t mention you yesterday, then that means I forgot, and you should reach out).

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aotvfilm · 2 years

Note

Hiiiii!!!!!!!!! :D

[insert gif of Harry waving crazily and smiling broadly!]

Noooo we must give the pets all the love, right?! Thank you so much!

ESCAPADE IS LIKE--- Frick. I really love it, but it's between that and Y&B for me, and I relate to Harry in Y&B more, so that's always the one that takes the cake for me. But yes, the playlist is fantastic, and I love the ambiance and energy it adds to Dolce's wonderful writing! You have given me an idea; make playlist, then write fic, then add playlist! Ha! Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh thank you so much, that's going on my phone to read late at night--- slow burn is the best. Do you have any tropes you like in fanfiction?

OH WOW Rock me, that's such a song LOL! Was Louis always your 'bias'? (Kpop term because I've forgotten the other word! No, I'm not a kpop fan anymore lol, was a while ago. What music do you enjoy?) MAN, I hope your mom loved it!! I'd cry if I saw Louis in person too lksjdfjksf. Mhmmm I really loved Take Me Home, and Made in the A.M... do you have, perhaps, a top 10 1D tracklist? :D

THAT IS A BRILLIANT INSTAGRAM NAME OH MY WORD!!!!! YOU WERE AND ARE BRILLIANT!

Honestly, I don't know how I wrote that many fics. For a bit of that time I really liked someone so I channeled it into my writing. But it didn't work out, therefore!! I wrote more, and eventually shifted into Larrie mode, thank goodness. But again, it's quality over quantity, and I think some of them aren't that good, tbh.

Hey, there's no shame in trying. Honestly, you know what I do? Automatic writing. Whatever is on your brain, dump it onto the page, and then your head is either clearer for fanfiction, or you've got a potential plot; either way, you're grounded and in the headspace for it, right? Do you have any ideas I might help with?

Congratulations on graduating, oh my goodness BECKYYYYYYY. I am so beyond proud of you! I'm going for film, which is all I'll say for now since I don't wanna give myself away. Apps are indeed kicking my butt but yes. What did you stud in undergrad?

I look forward to talking again, sorry about the time difference <3

Lots of love,

Holiday Pal.

HELLO HOLIDAY PAL <3

I have an unpopular opinion to share 👀 I never loved Y&B. I read it because it was a fandom classic but I struggled to stay engaged. I think my favorite fandom classic is Unbelievers. I might go reread that now actually 😶 I hope you enjoy the fic I shared!! x

Where do I start with favorite tropes? Obviously enemies to lovers & slow burn. Can’t get enough of that shit. I love a/b/o. I also love famous/famous where they’re not in one direction. Or just one of them is & the other is famous for something else. What are your favorite tropes?

When I first noticed the band wayyyy back when I definitely think Harry was my fav. I remember having a cardboard cutout of him lmao but I was 10 so I don’t remember joining the fandom clearly ): But by the time I went to see them in concert Louis was definitely my favorite. I can’t remember exactly when I made the switch but pretty early on. My mom loved the concert! I always tried to get her to pick a favorite and I remember her telling me she loved Louis’ blue eyes. She’s a Louis girl at heart <3

I listen to all sorts of music! Some of my fav artists are Greta Van Fleet, San Fender, & Declan McKenna. Do you use spotify? If so, who were your top artists?! I also loved Made in the A.M. but I think FOUR would be my absolute fav. Omg I’ve never written a top 10 1D track list. Tomorrow I’ll go through the albums and make one! I’d love to see yours too!!!

Aw sorry to hear it didn’t work out :( At least you channeled your feelings into something creative! And you study film!!! I’m always blown away by how some people are so creative. Thank you for your congratulations :) I’m finishing up my degree in biomedical engineering right now! I might go back to grad school in a few years once I have a better idea of what I’d like to specialize in.

Ugh I struggle so much with dumping words down. I always edit things as I go along rather than write a draft and edit it. I think that’s why I struggle so much with committing to a fic because I know how much editing and reworking will go into it. But I’m going to try! I’ve wanted to for years now and you’ve helped give me the push!!

talk soon holiday pal x :)

#holiday pal #love u #<3

0 notes

starsstuddedsky · 2 years

Text

Shall We?

gn reader x chan

summary: having a crush on your best friend made everything more complicated. would you be able to tell him how you felt, or will you be stuck in this limbo forever?

genre: fluff, tiny bit of angst, university au, sports au, non idol au

warnings: none, inaccurate soccer, both main characters are dumb?

wc: 6.3k

a/n: this is the first story I’m posting!!! it was really a gift for a friend but I enjoyed it a lot so hopefully y’all do too! thank you for reading :) i wrote it in first person bc second is kinda awk for me

title: Shall We? - CHEN

masterlist

I wasn’t the type to have crushes. I could count on one hand the number of people I’d ever admitted to having a crush on, and three of them were fictional characters. It wasn’t that I didn’t find people attractive - there were plenty of people in that category. Crushes just didn’t come easily.

That was why I couldn’t decide how to deal with the big fat crush I had on our school’s star forward, Lee Chan. I wasn’t used to having butterflies when I talked to him, losing focus in class, wondering what he was doing, dropping my phone when he posted (his second ever picture on Instagram) what could only be labeled as a thirst trap.

The worst part was that he was my best friend. I’d known him since kindergarten where I ironically swore to hate him for ruining my art project. I couldn’t escape these feelings, no matter how recently they’d come upon me. I glared at Seungkwan, who sat next to me on the sofa. It wasn’t fair that the athletes got better dorms when all they did was kick some balls around, but I stopped complaining out loud when I realized I had enough friends that lived in the athlete dorms that I could stay in their rooms (with actual bathrooms!) as much as I wanted.

“First of all, you’ve been in love with him at least since freshman year,” Seungkwan said. “That’s being generous, actually, it was probably middle school. I can’t be sure it wasn’t elementary school. Maybe it was love at first sight, actually, no, I take it back, you guys are probably soulmates.”

“Are you finished yet?”

Seungkwan laughed. “All I’m saying is that I have been saying that you have been in love with him for years.”

“But I haven’t!” I punched his arm when he scoffed. “I’m serious! These feelings are new and weird and I don’t like them, and Chan is one of my best friends- actually, he is my best friend because you’re being annoying.”

“I take offense to that.”

“Good, you were meant to,” I said. “Now shut up and let me rant. I really like him, Seungkwan, I can’t even think about him without my stomach getting butterflies. There’s no way he hasn’t noticed how weird I am around him, and just can’t imagine my life without him in it.” I buried my face into a pillow. “Why does my stupid heart ruin everything?”

Seungkwan patted me on the back. “Don’t you think you’re being a little dramatic?”

“I have been friends with Chan my entire life,” I said, raising myself from the cushion. “I think it’s worth being dramatic over.”

“What if it were me? And we were fighting and you were worried we would never be friends again?”

“Ew, gross,” I said automatically. “No offense, but I’d be glad to be rid of you.”

“First of all, you can’t say no offense and expect it to cancel out the meanest thing you’ve ever said to me. Also, I don’t believe you at all; who else have you told about your little crush?”

“No one,” I mumbled.

“That’s what I thought.” Seungkwan sounded smug. “Now, I’m going to assume confessing is out of the question?”

“Don’t even joke about it,” I hugged the pillow against my chest.

Seungkwan whipped his phone out, snapping a picture. “Sorry, I’ve literally never seen you this vulnerable, and I’m going to need blackmail at some point.”

“You are the worst, I gave you the best blackmail in the world, do you really need a picture, too?”

“Oh, yn, I can never have enough blackmail.” Not for the first time, I was scared of Seungkwan.

“Can’t you just give me advice?” I asked. “Weren’t you known for being the love doctor or whatever in high school?”

“First of all, I was not called the love doctor, that sounds weird, please never call me that again,” Seungkwan said. “And it was a lot easier to give advice to people that weren’t both my friends. I think I have to be Switzerland on this one.”

“You’re worthless,” I said, sliding onto the floor.

“Wow, I was just about to offer you food as compensation,” Seungkwan sighed.

“Did I ever tell you that you are my best friend in the entire world?”

Having a newly realized crush on your best friend apparently doesn’t excuse you from going to all of his games, no matter how strangely nervous it made you. Normally I came early to say hi during warmups (a tradition that began during the preseason because Chan forgot something every other day, but spending so much time with two teammates meant that I got to know pretty much the entire team). The thought of trying to act like everything was fine in front of the entire team, including Seungkwan, who would undoubtedly tease me, made me sick, so I texted Chan, telling him I needed to do homework but would be there in time for the game.

It technically wasn’t a lie, but all I did was I sit in my dorm, staring at the door, watching the seconds pass by one at a time. I wondered if he would even notice if I wasn’t there.

“Don’t you have to go?” My roommate asked. “The game starts in like five minutes.”

When I didn’t answer, she said, “You’re usually at every game like half an hour early. Is everything okay?”

I shrugged. “I’m that predictable?”

She smiled. “Did you and Chan fight?”

“No, nothing like that!” I paused. “Wait, why did you ask about Chan?”

“You’re going to be late,” she said, turning back to her desk.

I was torn between questioning exactly why she thought something happened between me and Chan or going to the game. I decided going to the game would at least involve less conflict.

I had to sprint to the stadium so that I wasn’t late, for once grateful Chan made me train with him every once in a while. Luckily it was one of the regulars checking tickets, and they waved me in as soon as they saw me sprinting.

I made it to the fence line just as they finished announcing the lineup for the opposing team. I didn’t need his number to pick him out, at the far end of the field, swaying back and forth a little, tapping the toe of his left cleat to the ground and sliding his foot forward until it was flat on the turf, then doing the same with his right. I couldn’t see him clearly from this far away, but I still knew his eyes were closed, and he was taking a slow deep breath, the same routine he’d performed since he first started playing soccer.

I’d seen him in his uniform since the beginning, but in the last few days, something had changed about the way he looks, as if I was only just now noticing the toned muscles in his arms, the way the uniform was loose yet still showed off shoulders that I knew from experience were firm and perfectly fit for my head. How many times had I rested my head on those shoulders without feeling a thing? Why was everything different now?

They were halfway down the lineup when he turned to the crowd. I watched him as his head turned slightly, scanning the stands, then lowering his chin and looking along the fence line. I could see the moment his eyes passed over me, fully expecting him to continue looking at the crowd. Instead, he stopped, holding my gaze despite the fact that I could barely see him. I froze when he smiled and lifted his hand in a tiny wave, forcing myself to wave back.

I was a grinning idiot, even when he forgot to pay attention to his own name and Vernon had to push him forward when his name was announced. He hastily waved towards the crowd, though I could have sworn his eyes were still on me.

The team went into a quick huddle, whispering among each other for a few seconds, then chanting the school mascot until the entire crowd took it up and the noise was deafening. I had always been curious about what they said in those huddles and finally remembered to ask a few weeks ago.

“Usually it’s just, like, ‘let’s get this done,’ or repeating something coach said about the other team,” he said. “But every once in a while it’s something dumb.”

“Like what?”

“Like jokes and bets between us,” he said, taking a sudden interest in the forks at the restaurant. We had gone out to eat after they lost their first game of the season.

“What was it today?”

He shrugged, shoving the food on his plate around. “Nothing interesting.”

As soon as the referee blew the whistle everyone was moving. It might look like chaos, but I’d seen enough soccer to know that it was an organized dance, how, much like all sports, there were patterns that were followed. My eyes followed Chan as he jogged ahead, waiting for someone to pass him the ball. Our team had taken control of the ball first, one of the seniors, Joshua, dodging around their defense before passing the ball across the field to Jun, the left forward.

Chan was in a good spot to score, the defense mostly focused on Jun, all he had to do was get the ball to him. I could feel the tension building, not just on the field, but in the crowd, as Jun dodged them again and again, then suddenly kicked the ball straight across the field. It looked like the ball wasn’t going anywhere, sliding across the fake grass without anyone from either team to stop it. And then Chan was there. Even I had lost him while watching Jun and the ball. He seemed to have come out of nowhere, kicking the ball as hard as he could before any of the defenders could react, sending it soaring up, the goalie reaching in vain, the ball soaring just over his hands and into the top corner of the goal.

The crowd erupted into cheers, myself the loudest of them all. Chan sprinted back to the home side of the field, grinning like an idiot. He ran past where I stood on the fence line and I could have sworn he winked at me. The rest of the team half tackled him as if he’d scored the game winning goal, chanting, “Dino! Dino! Dino!”

I frowned. Where had they learned that? As far as I knew, I was the only one to ever call him that. I supposed it wasn’t a big deal that other people called him by that name, but it still felt strange. I didn’t like that something that was ours was suddenly shared.

The referee blew his whistle and they finally reorganized themselves. Scoring a goal so early on could be dangerous, encouraging them to relax and let their defenses down. As they spread out on the field, I didn’t notice any of that. Chan was focused from the second the referee blew his whistle and the game play started again. I glanced at the team, and they all seemed equally intense.

I tried to think of why they were so focused. Were they playing a rival? The other team was good and a win would count toward their conference ranking, but it wasn’t anyone I thought warranted this level of focus. Maybe they were still upset that they lost the game last week, though they’d swept the tournament they played this past weekend.

The rest of the first half was uneventful, neither team able to score. Chan and Minghao, another forward, both came close but the balls were stopped by the other team’s goalie. Jihoon, our own goalie, only had to stop one ball. Everything else was stopped by what we affectionately called the Great Wall. Mingyu and Seungcheol were the main defenders, and were famous in our region for rarely letting a ball through our defense.

After the quick break, the teams returned to the field, switching sides. Now Chan would be closer to my side, running most of the offense almost in front of me. As soon as the whistle was blown he was moving, running right past me. I was probably imagining the smell of his detergent as he passed me by.

About half an hour in, I thought they might be able to score, but Chan lost the ball to one of their defenders and it was sent halfway across the field to their midfielders. Seungcheol and Mingyu did a good job, but even they weren’t quite able to stop the other team from pushing them down the field, closer to our goal. I held my breath as their forward got a good kick on the ball.

People tended to underestimate our goalie because he was pretty short. They didn’t know how quickly Jihoon could move, how good he was at anticipating where the ball would be kicked. I wondered if he was consciously aware of what he was seeing or if it was all instinct now. He made snagging the ball out of the air look easy, hanging on to it until the outfielders were back on the other side of the field.

Chan passed by me again as Jihoon threw the ball across the field, staying just in front of the defenders. They passed the ball around, not able to get past the defense, but also not giving up possession. Five minutes passed, then ten, and still neither team scored. We were still up by one, but as the time ticked down, the other team grew more desperate.

At 4 minutes and 47 seconds, they pushed through the defense. One of their forwards swung his foot back to kick the ball but turned slightly at the last second, slamming his foot into Mingyu’s shin. The taller boy dropped to the ground, but no whistle was blown, and the forward got a shot off. Jihoon couldn’t quite get to the ball and it just barely made it in.

1-1

While Seungcheol, the captain, and the coach shouted at the referee at the blatant foul that wasn’t called, the rest of the team regrouped. Mingyu had gotten up after a couple seconds, and from where I was looking he looked fine, though clearly mad. The referee gave Seungcheol a yellow card and he finally backed down, and our coach called a time out.

The crowd began the usual chants, though there was more passion after the horrible calls. When I was in the stands, I was normally screaming along with them, sometimes even leading them. I didn’t have any energy tonight to join in.

The time out wasn’t nearly long enough to cool them down. I could tell by the way they stalked back out onto the field that most of them were still mad, and I couldn’t blame them. The second the referee blew the whistle they were on the attack, sending the ball down the field recklessly fast. Chan was moving better than I’d ever seen before, anticipating where the defense would be and dodging before they even moved into position. The ball was passed to him quickly, though he immediately shot it off to one of the midfielders.

The lower the time got, the more desperate each team was. We somehow still held control of the ball for two full minutes, still unable to get a shot off.

At 2 minutes and 13 seconds, Chan had the ball again. He was moving like everyone else was stuck in quicksand, dodging the defenders and driving a path towards the goal. I could feel that he was going to get past them, going to score, and then he found and opening, swinging his foot back and-

And he got slammed to the ground by one of their defenders. This time the referee couldn’t ignore it, blowing his whistle. I was pretty sure there was about to be a fight, but I couldn’t look away from Chan, who was still on the ground. I could feel my heartbeat in my throat as I waited for him to get up, for him to move. He was only a few feet away from me. The idiotic part of me wanted to hop the fence and jump onto the field but what would I do? Yell at him until he woke up?

His back was to me and the longer he went without moving the more scared I got. Had he hit his head? Was something broken? I desperately wanted him to do something to at least show he was still alive.

Jun and Minghao, the other forwards, got to him first, kneeling next to him until the trainer finally reached him. I was vaguely aware of Mingyu and Seungkwan holding Seungcheol back as he yelled at the other team, but I couldn’t look away from Chan. From my angle, I could only see him reach his arm out, but I felt like I could finally breathe again. He was alive, at least.

The trainer spoke to him for a minute or two, then apparently decided he could be moved. Jun and Minghao helped him up and half carried him off the field, setting him on the table the trainer had set up to treat the athletes. It was foolish, but all I wanted to do was run over there, to see with my own eyes that he was okay.

After another time out, this time by the other team, the game started again. I couldn’t pay attention to anything, only watching Chan from across the field as the trainer made him go through yet more exercises, finally gesturing for him to follow her to the athletics building. I tried to decide if that was a good thing or not. It meant that he was well enough to walk on his own, but what did she need in the building? Did he need specialized treatment?

I had given up on paying attention to the match. The second half ended with the score still tied but all I could think of was Chan, suffering alone.

“Screw it,” I muttered. I pushed off the fence, walking towards the building with long strides. I’d been there more than a few times with Chan while we were hanging out before practice, sometimes wandering the building but often while he got treatment in the trainer’s office. Sometimes it felt like I was around Chan so much that I might as well be a part of the team.

I knew exactly where the office was. A week ago I wouldn’t have been nervous making this trip. I probably wouldn’t have left the stands at such an intense match, though I might have been a little worried. Everything had changed so quickly. I could feel adrenaline coursing through my veins as if I had been the one on the field playing.

I got to the trainer’s office and froze. Normally I would walk in without a thought to it, but I was suddenly not sure of anything. What if he just wanted to be alone? Or what if he didn’t want me there?

I decided I would at least rather see that he was alive. I knocked once then opened the door.

“Yn,” the trainer said with a warm smile. She’d been so happy when I told her I was interested in athletic medicine, inviting me to come with Chan whenever I wanted. The whole summer she’d been hinting at a relationship between me and Chan, despite both of our protests.

I waved, looking for Chan. He was laying on one of the tables on his stomach shirtless, wires hooked up to something on his back covered by ice packs, his eyes closed, looking like he was asleep.

“Is he okay?” I asked softly.

“Oh he’s fine,” she answered. “And he’s not sleeping, I don’t know who he thinks he’s fooling.” His eyes flicked open and he glared at her.

“Well, I need to see if anyone else decided to get hurt while you get pampered,” she said. “I’ll be back in like five minutes, so just don’t die.” Chan gave her a thumbs up and she was gone.

I pulled a chair next to his table, leaning against the side. Chan’s arm only a few inches away from mine.

“Did we win?” He asked before I had a chance to say anything.

“That’s seriously all you want to know? You’re not even going to tell me if you’re okay?”

“That’s not an answer.”

“Fine,” I said, “I have no idea, it went into overtime so I came here.” He was silent. “Are you okay?“ I asked again.

He let out a dramatic sigh. “I got the wind knocked the fuck out of me. Seriously, I’ve been hit before but that hurt. You need to check my chest for shoulder marks later.”

My cheeks flushed at the thought of being in front of him while he was shirtless, and I was happy his face was pressed into the leather cushion. I’d seen him shirtless plenty of times, but thinking about it now…

“What’s this?” I asked, brushing my fingers lightly on the wires, trying not to think about brushing them against the bare skin of his back.

“Stim,” he said. “My back was sore from getting knocked into the ground by that asshole and I just thought it would feel nice.” He turned his head at an awkward angle so that he could look at me. I could only meet his gaze for a few seconds before I looked away.

“Do you think it’s over yet?” He asked, breaking the silence that lasted for nearly a minute.

“You could have gotten seriously hurt and you’re still more worried about the game? Are you sure you didn’t hit your head?”

“Hey I am concussion free!” Chan said. “She did the test and everything. I just- I want to know if we won or not! It’s important that we don’t lose to assholes that body slam people!”

He was right, but I had known Chan for too long. He was lying.

“Besides, since when have you been worried about me?” He turned so that he could see me. “When I almost broke my wrist two years ago you said you would rather die than miss the end of the game.”

“That was playoffs!”

“We were up by four goals!”

I opened my mouth to argue back, but he was right. I was different now. I just didn’t have the guts to tell him why.

“I’m sorry,” I said. “I know I’m not always the best friend to you.”

“That’s not what I meant,” Chan said immediately, brushing his hand against mine. He looked so uncomfortable trying to face me while laying flat on his stomach. I slipped out of the chair, sitting on the floor in front of the table so that he could look straight at me, trying not to think about how he almost held on to my hand.

We stayed like that for a moment, Chan staring into my eyes and me staring right back. In the end I couldn’t take his gaze, looking down at the tile floor and realizing the pattern was really fascinating, even if it was clearly from 1990.

“I’m sorry,” Chan said. “I’m not upset about something from two years ago. I just… I want to tell you something but I don’t know if it’s right and they said I should do it when it’s right but I have no idea what that means, and then they said that maybe it wouldn’t ever be right, so I just… I don’t know.”

I could feel all of my courage crumbling as I looked back at him, dark eyes filled with an emotion I couldn’t decipher. I felt like he could see right through me.

“Chan…” I said. “You’re my best friend. I’ve known you for so long I don’t think I know who I am without you, and I think that’s what really scares me. You’re like this weird carrot that’s grown next to my carrot and we’ve coiled around each other and they exist on their own as separate carrots, but if they aren’t together, it just looks lonely.”

I peeked at Chan and he was frowning. Not my best metaphor. “I’m trying to say that I don’t like who I am without you. You mean everything to me.”

“You mean a lot to me, too,” he said slowly.

I groaned. “You’re not getting it! I’m trying to tell you that I like you, Chan!”

He quiet for a moment. “Yn, did you just confess to me while I’m laying on a table after being knocked out?”

“When you put it like that…” I stared at my hands. So that’s what I felt like to ruin everything.

“Yn.”

I wondered if I could successfully vanish, maybe start a new life raising sheep in Mongolia.

“Hey,” Chan said, reaching his hand out to brush against my cheek. “You’re an idiot.”

“I feel so much better,” I said, burying my face in my hands. “Thank you for that.”

“Please look me in the eyes for this,” Chan said. As much as I wanted to dig a hole and rot away in it, I couldn’t deny him this, especially not when he was using such a gentle yet firm tone. I forced myself to meet his eyes, finding comfort in the familiarity, even if I knew everything had changed and it was my fault.

“I have been trying to tell you I like you for months and you do it in pretty much the least romantic way possible,” he said. “Seriously, there are electrical impulses being shot down my back.”

“I take it back, I feel nothing,” I said, standing up.

He laughed, that stupid, infectious laugh that never failed to make me smile, reaching out and catching my hand. “Can you give me like five seconds to at least be sitting upright?”

I nodded, still facing the door so that he couldn’t see my smile.

“I might need some help, actually,” Chan said after a moment. “This stuff is kinda stuck to my back.”

I turned to him, taking in the situation. He’d gotten the ice packs off but the pads for stim were stuck to his back. This wasn’t the first time I’d helped him with stim, in fact I’d done it for half the team (albeit usually on their knees or shoulders). Helping Chan now, my cheeks were probably bright red, fingers tingling every time they brushed against his skin. The four pads came off easily and I stuck them back onto the plastic they normally were stuck to, turning off the machine and putting everything back where it should be. When I turned around, Chan was sitting up rolling his shoulders back. If my face wasn’t already a tomato it was now. Chan laughed as I looked anywhere but at him.

“You’re not going to check for shoulder marks?” He asked. He was probably batting his eyes and pretending to be innocent.

I glanced him over, trying hard to force my eyes past his bare chest, then tossed his shirt at him. “Shoulder mark free.”

“Are you sure, because you didn’t look very hard and-”

“Oh my god, Chan, just put on the shirt!”

He laughed, pulling it over his head. “You’re so easy to tease.” He caught my hands when I tried to step away again, gently tugging on them so that I was facing him while he still sat on the table.

“Yn,” he said softly, running his thumbs over my knuckles. “I had a whole plan of how I was going to tell you how I felt. We’d go to that cafe, or sometimes I planned it for the library, and once I even planned to try to tell you on the field. None of them worked because every time I saw you I couldn’t figure out a way to get the words in my heart out so that you could hear them.” He held my gaze and I knew he wasn’t lying. I hadn’t lasted a week with these feelings. How had Chan been able to stand it?

“I really, really like you,” Chan said. “And I-”

The door was slammed open and all of a sudden the room was filled with noise. I let go of one of his hands as half the team came streaming in. With the hand he still held, Chan pulled me closer to him until I was shoulder to shoulder with him, lacing his fingers with mine.

“Chan you’re alive!” Seokmin shouted.

“Yeah I was going to go to the light but I remembered you guys are hopeless without me.”

“Hopeless?” Soonyoung laughed. “Just for that I’m not telling you who won.”

“I don’t think that matters anymore,” Jeonghan said, gesturing to me and Chan.

“Hey!” Seokmin shouted. “That’s cheating!”

“What’s going on?” I whispered in Chan’s ear.

“I’ll explain later,” he whispered back, then said to everyone, “I appreciate your concern for my love life, but seriously, did we win or not?”

Seungcheol leaned against the counter with a smug smile. “You think we’d let a team like that win?”

Chan grinned, turning to me. I hoped he couldn’t hear how loud my heart was beating when he turned his gaze on me like that. “Yn, will you go on a date with me?”

I forgot about the team who were hollering around us, forgot about the game, forgot about everything except me and Chan. “Of course.”

Chan only let go of my hand once as we walked back to the apartment, and it was only to let me put on his sweatshirt. As soon as I pulled my arms through the sleeves, his hand was back in mine. It should have felt weird to be this intimate after a lifetime of friendship. It felt like we should have been like this from the beginning.

“You’re sure you feel the same way?“ Chan asked.

“If you ask me one more time I’m going to change my mind,” I said.

“I’m sorry,” he said, squeezing my hand. “I had resigned myself to being your b-f ‘best friend,’ not b-f ‘boyfriend.’”

“First of all, Seungkwan is my best friend,” I said.

“Um, wrong, I’ve known you for longer.”

“That’s not the point but I have a feeling you’re going to win this one so I’m just going to give up now.” I turned to look him in the eyes. “But seriously, how long have you liked me? And don’t you dare say from the moment I met you or some bullshit because I know that’s not true.”

“No, I’m not that dramatic. I think the moment I realized it was at graduation.” He smiled at the memory, pausing on the sidewalk.

“Do you remember how we went straight from the ceremony to the beach and that first night we stayed up all night talking about the future and we watched the sunrise over the water?” He waited for my nod. “I remember listening to you talk about your life plans and realizing how lucky I am to know you, and then realizing that I couldn’t imagine my life without you in it.

“Do you know how magical you looked watching the sunrise? I know it’s the cheesiest line ever, but you really were prettier than the sunrise and ever since then I haven’t been able to think of anyone but you.” Chan smiled and my heart felt like it was going to explode. I leaned forward and pressed a gentle kiss to his lips, then suddenly felt shy, turning and continuing to walk. Chan didn’t move until I was tugging on his hand.

“Your turn,” he said after a few moments passed and the heat in my cheeks had finally died down. “When did you realize?”

“Last week,” I said. “Right before you left for the tournament you asked for a kiss goodbye, and I thought it was just a joke but then I spent all weekend thinking about your lips and about how that’s definitely not best friend thoughts, and then I started thinking about you and then I realized that for everything in my life I go to you, and you are the only person in the world who knows how to make me smile when I am having a horrible day, and you don’t complain when I’m being mean or grumpy, and you are the only person I could ever see myself spending the rest of my life with.

“I know it’s not as romantic as watching the sunrise with you and maybe you think these five days aren’t long enough to feel anything as strong as you, but, Chan, I swear I know my heart and you are the only one in it, and the only one that will ever be in it.” It was terrifying to say these things out loud, but I turned to Chan and he had the biggest smile on his face.

He stepped closer to me until there were only a few inches between us, bringing one hand to my cheek. “Can I kiss you?” He asked so softly I almost didn’t hear it.

I nodded, closing my eyes as he leaned closer, nose brushing against mine, and it was not a gentle kiss like mine had been. His hand slid to the back of my head, the other one finally letting go and slipping to hold my waist. I wrapped my own arms around his neck, pulling him as close as I could.

Chan pulled away first, though his arms stayed wrapped around me. “Feedback?”

I laughed, burying my head in his chest. ‘Feedback’ was always for class presentations, or how I thought he did in his last game. “Only if you tell me why your team calls you Dino.”

I disentangled myself from his arms, lacing our fingers back together and beginning to walk again.

“You better not be mad about that because it’s your fault,” he said, catching up to me easily. “Seokmin and Soonyoung saw you spamming me with those dinosaur stickers while we were at an away game and I had to explain to them that you made the nickname when we were six and already a cruel monster.”

“It’s not my fault you cried unless you brought your stuffie to school with you.”

“Don’t you dare tell them that part!” He said. “They’ll never let it go, it’s bad enough I have Seungkwan holding it over me.”

I laughed. “You haven’t explained what was going on in the training room either, by the way.”

“Right.” I glanced at him and he avoided my eyes.

“What is it?”

“It’s embarrassing,” he whined.

“More embarrassing than getting dumped fifteen minutes after the relationship started?”

“You wouldn’t,” Chan said and he was right, but it still worked because he let out a dramatic sigh and kept walking. “Do you remember last week after we lost and we went out to eat and you asked me about what we say in the pregame huddles?” He waited until I nodded to continue. “Well, apparently my crush was obvious to everyone other than you and Seokmin and Soonyoung specifically were determined to ‘help’ me confess so they thought it would be funny to say ‘when we win Chan has to tell yn how he feels,’ but then we lost and someone said that maybe we just weren’t meant to be and it was a joke, but I’ve been overthinking it since then.

“Then today, Seungcheol said it, and I think it was supposed to be a joke but everyone took it really seriously and I don’t know, I really felt like if we didn’t win today then maybe we really wouldn’t ever work out.

“But then you showed up and confessed to me in the least romantic way possible and I realized how dumb I was,” Chan said, grinning.

“You’re kind of an idiot,” I said.

“Yeah, but I’m your idiot,” he said, leaning into me.

“You’re ridiculous.” I tried unsuccessfully to hide my smile.

He snuck closer, pressing a kiss to my cheek, then wrapping his arm around my shoulders and pulling me closer to him. I couldn’t think of any more insults to throw at him, so I leaned into him.

“So, are you going to give me feedback on my kissing or not?”

“I’m not sure, I think I need to try again before forming an opinion.”

Chan laughed, turning to face me with a smile that could break hearts. “You better pay attention this time.” He kissed me and I was floating.

When I finally pushed back, he raised his eyebrows expectantly.

“Two out of ten, honestly, I’m disappointed, I thought you could do better than this,” I said, pushing his arms off of me before I could react and sprinting away.

“Hey!” He shouted. “I’m still handicapped! I got knocked out today!” Despite his protests, he caught up to me easily, wrapping his arms around me from behind, pressing a kiss to my cheek.

“Want to try again?”

“Hm, nope,” I said, giggling when he wrapped his arms even tighter.

“You are so lucky I love you,” he said, pressing another kiss on my cheek. I wondered if he noticed that he let the word slip. I settled my hands on his arms, holding him to me just as tightly as he was. There was a gentle breeze in the air, the streetlights warm and cozy, and I decided I would spend the rest of my life like this, me and Chan, together.

#🌟 stars galaxy #seventeen #seventeen x reader #svt #svt x reader #dino #lee chan #dino x reader #lee chan x reader #fluff #svt fluff #seventeen fluff #svt reader #seventeen fanfiction #seventeen fanfic #soccer boys!#chan x reader #dino fluff #chan fluff

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starstuddeddsky · 2 years

Text

Shall We?

gn reader x chan

summary: having a crush on your best friend made everything more complicated. would you be able to tell him how you felt, or will you be stuck in this limbo forever?

genre: fluff, tiny bit of angst, university au, sports au, non idol au

warnings: none, inaccurate soccer, both main characters are dumb?

wc: 6.3k

title: Shall We? - CHEN

“Are you finished yet?”

Seungkwan laughed. “All I’m saying is that I have been saying that you have been in love with him for years.”

“I take offense to that.”

Seungkwan patted me on the back. “Don’t you think you’re being a little dramatic?”

“I have been friends with Chan my entire life,” I said, raising myself from the cushion. “I think it’s worth being dramatic over.”

“What if it were me? And we were fighting and you were worried we would never be friends again?”

“Ew, gross,” I said automatically. “No offense, but I’d be glad to be rid of you.”

“No one,” I mumbled.

“That’s what I thought.” Seungkwan sounded smug. “Now, I’m going to assume confessing is out of the question?”

“Don’t even joke about it,” I hugged the pillow against my chest.

Seungkwan whipped his phone out, snapping a picture. “Sorry, I’ve literally never seen you this vulnerable, and I’m going to need blackmail at some point.”

“You are the worst, I gave you the best blackmail in the world, do you really need a picture, too?”

“Oh, yn, I can never have enough blackmail.” Not for the first time, I was scared of Seungkwan.

“Can’t you just give me advice?” I asked. “Weren’t you known for being the love doctor or whatever in high school?”

“You’re worthless,” I said, sliding onto the floor.

“Wow, I was just about to offer you food as compensation,” Seungkwan sighed.

“Did I ever tell you that you are my best friend in the entire world?”

It technically wasn’t a lie, but all I did was I sit in my dorm, staring at the door, watching the seconds pass by one at a time. I wondered if he would even notice if I wasn’t there.

“Don’t you have to go?” My roommate asked. “The game starts in like five minutes.”

When I didn’t answer, she said, “You’re usually at every game like half an hour early. Is everything okay?”

I shrugged. “I’m that predictable?”

She smiled. “Did you and Chan fight?”

“No, nothing like that!” I paused. “Wait, why did you ask about Chan?”

“You’re going to be late,” she said, turning back to her desk.

I was torn between questioning exactly why she thought something happened between me and Chan or going to the game. I decided going to the game would at least involve less conflict.

“Usually it’s just, like, ‘let’s get this done,’ or repeating something coach said about the other team,” he said. “But every once in a while it’s something dumb.”

“Like what?”

“Like jokes and bets between us,” he said, taking a sudden interest in the forks at the restaurant. We had gone out to eat after they lost their first game of the season.

“What was it today?”

He shrugged, shoving the food on his plate around. “Nothing interesting.”

1-1

The lower the time got, the more desperate each team was. We somehow still held control of the ball for two full minutes, still unable to get a shot off.

I had given up on paying attention to the match. The second half ended with the score still tied but all I could think of was Chan, suffering alone.

I decided I would at least rather see that he was alive. I knocked once then opened the door.

I waved, looking for Chan. He was laying on one of the tables on his stomach shirtless, wires hooked up to something on his back covered by ice packs, his eyes closed, looking like he was asleep.

“Is he okay?” I asked softly.

“Oh he’s fine,” she answered. “And he’s not sleeping, I don’t know who he thinks he’s fooling.” His eyes flicked open and he glared at her.

I pulled a chair next to his table, leaning against the side. Chan’s arm only a few inches away from mine.

“Did we win?” He asked before I had a chance to say anything.

“That’s seriously all you want to know? You’re not even going to tell me if you’re okay?”

“That’s not an answer.”

“Fine,” I said, “I have no idea, it went into overtime so I came here.” He was silent. “Are you okay?“ I asked again.

He let out a dramatic sigh. “I got the wind knocked the fuck out of me. Seriously, I’ve been hit before but that hurt. You need to check my chest for shoulder marks later.”

“What’s this?” I asked, brushing my fingers lightly on the wires, trying not to think about brushing them against the bare skin of his back.

“Do you think it’s over yet?” He asked, breaking the silence that lasted for nearly a minute.

“You could have gotten seriously hurt and you’re still more worried about the game? Are you sure you didn’t hit your head?”

“Hey I am concussion free!” Chan said. “She did the test and everything. I just- I want to know if we won or not! It’s important that we don’t lose to assholes that body slam people!”

He was right, but I had known Chan for too long. He was lying.

“That was playoffs!”

“We were up by four goals!”

I opened my mouth to argue back, but he was right. I was different now. I just didn’t have the guts to tell him why.

“I’m sorry,” I said. “I know I’m not always the best friend to you.”

I could feel all of my courage crumbling as I looked back at him, dark eyes filled with an emotion I couldn’t decipher. I felt like he could see right through me.

I peeked at Chan and he was frowning. Not my best metaphor. “I’m trying to say that I don’t like who I am without you. You mean everything to me.”

“You mean a lot to me, too,” he said slowly.

I groaned. “You’re not getting it! I’m trying to tell you that I like you, Chan!”

He quiet for a moment. “Yn, did you just confess to me while I’m laying on a table after being knocked out?”

“When you put it like that…” I stared at my hands. So that’s what I felt like to ruin everything.

“Yn.”

I wondered if I could successfully vanish, maybe start a new life raising sheep in Mongolia.

“Hey,” Chan said, reaching his hand out to brush against my cheek. “You’re an idiot.”

“I feel so much better,” I said, burying my face in my hands. “Thank you for that.”

“I take it back, I feel nothing,” I said, standing up.

He laughed, that stupid, infectious laugh that never failed to make me smile, reaching out and catching my hand. “Can you give me like five seconds to at least be sitting upright?”

I nodded, still facing the door so that he couldn’t see my smile.

“I might need some help, actually,” Chan said after a moment. “This stuff is kinda stuck to my back.”

“You’re not going to check for shoulder marks?” He asked. He was probably batting his eyes and pretending to be innocent.

I glanced him over, trying hard to force my eyes past his bare chest, then tossed his shirt at him. “Shoulder mark free.”

“Are you sure, because you didn’t look very hard and-”

“Oh my god, Chan, just put on the shirt!”

“Yn,” he said softly, running his thumbs over my knuckles. “I had a whole plan of how I was going to tell you how I felt. We’d go to that cafe, or sometimes I planned it for the library, and once I even planned to try to tell you on the field. None of them worked because every time I saw you I couldn't figure out a way to get the words in my heart out so that you could hear them.” He held my gaze and I knew he wasn’t lying. I hadn’t lasted a week with these feelings. How had Chan been able to stand it?