#i’m full of shit basically. i know that. i really don’t want to claim anything else

[sonic-adventure-3]

dude i phrased that sonic v shadow post so wrong. in my head “more skilled” meant shadow relies on more specific skills like gunplay and chaos energy manipulation, and more theoretical knowledge, not that he’s generally more proficient. “raw power” is wholly undescriptive and invokes an image of brute force, which isn’t what i meant. sonic has significantly more actual experience and more honed movement. sonic is a very quick learner, and has dexterity and stamina off the charts. he’s most certainly not unskilled, not in general nor compared to shadow, so i supremely failed if i implied that.

in my head at least, shadow would’ve learned to fight in a controlled environment, if he had physical training at all. i imagine he’d be book smart, had a formal education and shit. either he learned and trained on the ark, or when gerald messed with his memories he implanted fighting knowledge too, baymax style, or something i guess. sonic learned to fight through actual experience, so sonic would be the one with far better battle sense and instincts, it’s like second nature to him rather than a studious pursuit. dude’s graceful as hell, makes everything look easy; no way in hell is he unskilled or less skilled than shadow. shadow’s skill is like, classical, whereas sonic’s is pure schmovement. but idk i’m just thinking aloud.

[lady-ashfade]

Ok so I heard your call for Five prompts…*cracks knuckles* here we go bc I love ur writing!

Prompt Numbers: 3, 5, 8, 11, 13-16, 18, 20, 21, 23, 30, 31, 37-40

With an Aged!up Five x Wanda Powers!reader, and also angst with a happy ending.

(Basically I’m in a “these two people claim to hate/want to kill each other but also always flirt with each other and get jealous/angsty when the other actually tries to date someone” mood)

I hope this makes sense and has decent grammar to it.

It’s 3:34am where I am lol.

Your curse.

Five Hargreaves x female reader.

Notes: Five is always aged up here, also this isn’t really angsty so I apologize. I could do all of the prompt but I did most of them, except 21, 14 and replaced one with 28. Also things get very spicy, it’s been a long time since I’ve wrote something like this so I’m a bit rusty.

Prompts: {3} “i would die for you”, {5} “I need you.”, {8} “you matter to me”, {11} “Stop ignoring me”, {13} “ If I didn't know any better I'd say you have feelings for me”, {15} “What do you see in them that I don’t have”, {16} “I can’t stand to see you with them”, {18} “Your eyes say kiss me, but your mouth says fuck you”, {20} “You’re cute when you’re angry”, {23} “Are you jealous?”, {28} “You’re so full of yourself”, {30} “As soon as you walk into a room my head hurts.”, {31} “Why are you bleeding?”, {37} “You’re to cute not to tease”, {38} “What? I’m just kissing you”, {39} “You’re mine”, {40} “Was that a moan”.

Warnings: Sexual themes, suggested intimacy, jealously. Also bad grammar and poor writing, this sucks but I kinda like it. This is almost smut.

Five didn’t like to dwell on emotions because it wasn’t sometime he had time for or wanted to show. He had a very thick wall up in his mind to keep anything from getting out which is way he was a jerk sometimes.

Five didn’t like to dwell on emotions because it wasn’t sometime he had time for or wanted to show. He had a very thick wall up in his mind to keep anything from getting out which is way he was a jerk sometimes.

But you were something that got through so fast and he hated you for it, at first he didn’t understand it. Everyone time he looked at you he felt funny or the sound of your voice made him feel fuzzy, so he hated when you spoke.

Now he was truly sure how he felt, but this wasn’t a good time to come to terms with it. He was jealous to the point he threw a bottle of rum at the wall in frustration. You had gone out on a date with some guy you had just met.

He cared for you and it scared him so he pushed you away and you seemed to hate him too, but why wouldn’t you? After everything he’s said to you, he couldn’t blame you.

That was until he saw you from across his seat at the bar, soaking wet and had blood tripping down one of your legs. Panic set through him and he immediately ran to you.

“Why are you bleeding?” He sounded genuine but that slightly pissed you off more, thinking he was mocking you.

“Don’t patronize me five. I’m not in the mood.” you pushed passed him and walked towards the stairs. 

“I’m not mocking you. You look horrible.” That made you break even after everything that had happened he just made you break, like he always did.

“For once can you get off my ass and fuck off, you’re always trying to bring me down. So don’t acted like you give a shit about me.” You pushed your finger into his chest.

“Whether or not you and me like it…I care for you.” he pushed your fingers aside. He really meant it as he stared back into your eyes hoping you would believe him.

“Bullshit.” the words came out of you mouth like venom as you turned around and walked away from him.

He watched you leave with a broken heart, he knew he wasn’t going to get to talk with you today. But he could make it up with you, get you to see how much he truly cared for you.

Until two days later you hadn’t even spared a glance at him, leaving the room every time he walk into the room. Not to mention you acted like he wasn’t even there.

He found out from Victor that you tripped on your way home, the guy you went on a date was actually nice but to quote your words “He wasn’t my type” so you walked home in the rain.

“Get them, Steve.” You shouted at the tv in your room, silk gown on while you ate chinese food.

“Stop ignoring me.” You jumped as the man you’ve been ignoring just blinked into your room.

“Five, what the hell? I could have been naked.” He groaned as he watched you set down your takeout.

“Then stop ignoring me.” His clinched his hands into fists and you put your hands up to your forehead.

“As soon as you walk into a room my head hurts.” You couldn’t take it anymore, these past couple of days just took it out of you.

You hated being alone, you didn’t feel loved…The man you loved didn’t like you back and hated you. So you tried to cover it up with someone else for years but you just couldn’t get him out of you head.

Five Hargreaves was like a curse.

Your curse.

“Please just leave me alone, I can’t take it anymore.” You turned away from him and swing your feet off the bed and stare down at the floor.

“No, you’re going to listen because I can’t take it anymore.” he raised his voice and he was clearly wasn’t going to let it go. So you just sat there quite and waited for him to speak.

“Tonight you looked great, amazingly actually and I…” he couldn’t finish just by watching you throw your head back in a laugh.

“Oh, what. Are you jealous.” You were pissed and hurt. That’s why you found it funny.

“Goddamnit, y/n. I need you.” He yelled and before you could reacted he was right in front of you.

“What do you see in them that I don't have? I’ve watched you go on so many dates, one right after the other and I can't stand to see you with them.” You looked up at him, your cheeks heating up. Was he confessing to you? It felt like some sort of game to you.

“Five, don’t do that.” You stood up and walked past him going to the bottles of wine on the dresser.

“Don’t walk away from me, y/n. I know you feel it too, you have too.” That made you chuckle again, of course you did but he had no right to bring it up.

“After everything you’ve said to me you want me to just forget about it?” You put the cup to your lips and looking out at the small view you got through the blinds.

“You matter to me.” He took ahold of your waist and spun you around, now he was inches away and still gripping ahold of your waist.

“You have a have a funny way of showing it, asshole.” he could tell by the smell of your breath you had been drinking before he walked in.

“Tell me, why haven’t you slapped me?” He asked while pulling you closer. “Or run away from my touch. If I didn't know any better I'd say you have feelings for me.” Your breath hitched as he leaned a bit closer.

“Eat shit, asshole. You’re so full of yourself.” Rolling your eyes you set the drink down. It was the only thing you could do because you still wanted to be in his arms.

“Your eyes scream kiss me, but your mouth says fuck you.” He smirked as he felt you tension up and your breath get heavier as he got closer.

“Five..” he was painfully close and you couldn’t control yourself. You didn’t want him to just hurt you again but god. He just felt so right.

“You’re too cute not to tease.” He went closer and you closed your eyes to kiss him but his lips never came. Opening your eyes to find him have a very cocky smirk and it broke your heart and pissed you off.

“Fuck you.” You broke free and your eyes grew red with emotions. “You can’t do that.” He still smirked as he watched you walk away.

You went to open the door but soon you where spun around again and pinned against it.

“Don’t be like that love. You’re cute when you’re angry, so I had to.” He crashed his lips onto yours passionately, and rough.

He still held your waist against the door as kissed you. He couldn’t control himself, all that sexual tension and feelings just made him feral, not that you were complaining.

“You’re mine.” He growled and he sounded like he was angry and the pulling of your bottom lip between his teeth made you know he was.

You had no option but you agree with him, he was definitely possessive. Five smirked and every sparkle in his eyes darkened because was fueled by your submission.

He let your lip go and moved down into your neck, you pushed your body forward and his nails digs into your skin. Five started to lay kisses on your neck and you couldn’t hold back you’re voice any more because everything he was going made you go weak.

“Was that a moan?” You could feel his smirk and the proud and amusement in his voice. Feeling embarrassed, heat shot through your whole body. Being as powerful as you are and he still could just do this to you with ease.

“What? I’m just kissing you.” He whispered close to your ear making you shiver as his hot breath hit your skin.

You gripped onto his suit jacket and pulled it off of him, decided to take some charge back you pushed off the wall and made him walk back onto the bed.

“What are you doing?” He asked in amazement watching you try and take charge, it was adorable so he’ll let you have your fun.

You smirked and pushed him onto the bed and he fell back. You used your hands and made symbols with your magic and shot then at the wall.

“Now we can’t get a noise complaint.” You chuckled and stood before him in all glory, having him look up at you made you feel powerful.

“I would die for you.” He found his way up your legs and back to your waist.

“Five, you matter to me. So you’re not getting a chance to.” You put both of your legs on each side of him as he pulled you into his lap.

“I forgot to mention..” he trailed off and you felt him wrap his arms all the way around you then your weight shifted. Now you were on your back and him above you.

“I’m always on top” And with that his lips were back onto yours.

Help- I almost went to far- you have ideas how much I had to hold back. For so reasons my write gets shitty at times so if you don’t like is I really apologize because I tried.

[autisticempathydaemon]

hihi im here for the redacted matches thing, if its still open :)

What song are you fixated on at the moment? What lyric or verse, and why? “Perhaps Vampires Is A Bit Strong But…” by Arctic Monkeys! ive always loved indie rock music, and this song in particular just scratches that musical itch in my brain

What is your Enneagram type? Type 2, The Helper

Do you love gargantuan Youtube video essays, and if so, which is your favorite and why? nooo they’re too long :(

Tell me about your childhood imaginary friend. i was supposed to have a childhood imaginary friend? nah fam i played with calico critters all day, i dont think i ever had a childhood imaginary friend

What is your go-to way to fall asleep? usually just listening to comforting audios, or taking melatonin 

If you had to change your name, what would it be, and why? (In tandem, if you have changed your name, why did you pick that one?) it sounds cool as hell, and if the person i stole it from isn’t using it anymore, imma yoink that shit and claim it as my own

What is your favorite of Redacted’s audios, and why? "Your Boyfriend's a Flirty Vampire Prince and ALSO a Cheeky Dork". heart eyes at Vincent rn

What Redacted boy holds no appeal to you, and why? Like, not the one you hate but the one who you don’t get the hype for. (I won’t judge, I promise.) Yandere!Ivan and Regulus who genuinely makes me uncomfortable, i only ever listened to Yandere!Ivan for lore reasons and i have refused to even go near Regulus bc that mf is CREEPY. i dont get the hype for either of them really

Tell me about that one book/movie/tv show you know all the words to. OOOH okay SO theres this book called Just Ash by Sol Santana, and the main character is intersex!! ive only ever once seen an intersex character in a piece of media, and that was 7 years ago. Just Ash kinda details the struggles that some intersex people can go through, and i learned a lot because of it (i didnt even know that salt wasting was a thing before reading this book). Just Ash also inspired me to start doing research on disabilities that arent as well-known throughout the world, such as scoliosis or ostomy.

Which Redacted boy are you platonically attracted to? Like- forget dating, which dude do you want to be your best friend? Huxley. i need some good hugs in my life man. and Porter for queer reasons (that man is GAY you cannot tell me otherwise — plus you already know that he has some great sarcasm with the whole gag reflex quip)

Do you have a go-to thing you ramble about when you’re tired, and if so, what is it? (For example, my boyfriend knows I’m ready to sleep when I start talking about space.) when im low on energy, i either go nonverbal or start saying random silly things

Tell me your go-to gas station and drink combo. despite being white, i have never had the classic white experience of visiting a gas station and terrorizing the cashier with my friends. i dont have a specific gas station that i like, but i looove the cherry slurpee omg that shit goes hard

Tell me about your favorite playlist at the moment. i have ceremoniously named it ♥️ good shit ♥️ because it has good shit in it (imo). Arctic Monkeys, Laufey, Mitski, Lovejoy, The Orion Experience — basically any indie rock band/soft-voiced sad girl that goes hard

What’s your guilty pleasure media, and why? boyfriend asmr that surpasses asmr because its chocked full of lore and likable characters and world building and

And whatever else you think tells me about who you are! i loveloveLOVE pink omg best color ever fr. also. i eat lore for breakfast, literally my favorite thing ever. i will listen as you info dump about those silly little characters that run around in your head. im also autistic btw if that counts for anything 👍

(ive done this before, but i dont think it sent last time 😭)

Oh, this is easy peasy lemon squeezy. If you’re an autistic person with a love of lore and stories, there’s no better match for you than Guy, our resident storyteller!

One, we love an A4A relationship, and Guy has got to be the dictionary picture of an AuDHD dude, you know? Two, Type Two’s are characterized as being friendly, giving people who want to love and be loved, and Guy would be a good match for you because he is just so loving, so affectionate. I also love him for you because Guy is kind of as far from a yandere as I can imagine, and that feels right.

The more I think about it, the more I realize just how much fun you and Guy would have. He, of the Redacted bois, strikes me as the most likely to listen to Redacted, so couldn’t you just imagine it being a shared special interest between the two of you? You could listen to early access together and scream about it on tumblr, because let’s be real, Guy 100% has a tumblr. He’d also adopt popular lines and the Redacted ringtone as vocal stims, and I can imagine you finding that charming and funny because it would be.

Song:

Every time I think of you/ I feel shot right through with a bolt of blue/ It's no problem of mine, but it's a problem I find/ Livin' a life that I can't leave behind/ There's no sense in telling me/ The wisdom of the fool won't set you free/ But that's the way that it goes and it's what nobody knows/ Well, every day my confusion grows

I’m not gonna lie- I don’t super know what this song means, and neither would Guy. I do know that it’s fun, it’s a love song, it’s indie rock, and it’s a classic. This strikes me as the type of song that Guy knows all the words and can perform without a second thought, thus he loves turning it up and singing it at you whenever it comes on in the car.

Runner-Ups:

David is a runner-up for you because I love A4A pairings, and David is my favorite Redacted boi to headcanon as autistic after Guy. However, I do prefer Camelopardalis as a runner up; he’s not autistic, but I think his nature is more outwardly effusive and affectionate than David’s which would be better for a Type Two.

note: thank you for waiting~ you did send this before, and it came through; it just took me some time to get through the entries before you 💛

Read this post and send me an ask if you’d like a match-up of your own! 💌

[simplynotcapable]

how do you think Visenya and Baelon would've done if they got incarnated later into the Targaryen dynasty? Kids of Aegon V, or siblings of Aerys II or siblings of Rhaegar or something?

Hi anon!

I think if Baelon and Visenya were born at almost any other time (assuming Baelon was not a firstborn son), they would be largely footnotes on the grander scheme of history. Baelon doesn’t really want the throne or power, he just takes on the responsibility because he feels like it would disrespect his mother’s sacrifice to do otherwise. In a part of history where his father didn’t kill his mother for him, he’s going to care even less.

So as kids of Aegon V:

We’re assuming Baelon is born after Duncan and Jaehaerys, but even if he wasn’t our boy is probably not going to be king. Way more likely he punts it off to his younger brother.

Aegon V was very against incestuous marriages, so Baelon and Visenya would be betrothed to other people. I say that probably lasts right up until they’re 15-16 years old at most because they’re going to run off and get married. I think the difference here between them running off and Jaehaerys and Shaera doing the same thing is that Baelon and Visenya probably aren’t going to go back. Because like…what’s waiting for them there? An angry father, royal duties, responsibilities neither of them have ever really wanted or asked for? They’re going to steal a bunch of shit right before they leave the Keep, get married, and then fuck off to somewhere like Essos. They’ll live their silly little lives being in love and careless and dumb.

It’s likely they’d still be alive during Robert’s Rebellion and even for the events of the series, but I don’t think they’d involve themselves very much. Definitely not in the wars themselves because they wrote themselves out of it on purpose and also they’re old now. They don’t know any of the Targaryens still alive or particularly care about them. They don’t have the same sense of familial loyalty that they do when they’re born during the Dance, and what they did have for their siblings did not transfer over to their brother’s kids and grandkids.

Robert has people watching them undoubtedly, but I don’t think he’d try to have them killed. They’re both old and fled the throne once, there’s no indication they’d want to fight for it now.

They would support Dany’s claim, though, in a very distant “yeah hope she gets it back” kind of way, and they would be very excited at the thought of her bringing back the dragons.

Since we don’t know how the books end yet, I can’t really say for sure beyond that point, except Baelon and Visenya are perfectly happy where they are and aren’t getting involved with anything even if asked.

Siblings of Aerys II:

(We are again assuming Aerys’s younger siblings.)

Baelon and Visenya are going to be married, though we’ll leave it up in the air why Jaehaerys felt strongly enough to argue with his father about it. Maybe the wood witch’s prophecy involved them, too.

Robert’s Rebellion never happens because Baelon’s gonna kill Aerys himself.

One thing that mostly always stays the same about Baelon is that he is very protective of his sisters. Especially Visenya but all of his sisters. Baelon does not let people put their hands on his sisters, full stop, regardless of every other factor of his relationship with them. He doesn’t have a particularly close relationship with Rhaella. They aren’t even friends, really, it’s nothing like our Baelon’s relationship with Rhaenyra. But the second he finds out Aerys is abusing her, he’s a dead man.

Which is a difficult decision, no doubt, because Baelon does care about his brother in his own way, but he has been watching him spiral further and further into madness every year. And now his unhappy marriage has turned into an abusive one, and Visenya tells him that Rhaella cries in the night??

Baelon very cheerfully decides to become a kinslayer, and Visenya is basically like “okay babe be safe love you”

I’m not sure how exactly he’d manage it, being as Aerys was so damned paranoid about everything and everyone, but he’d find a way. Single-handedly saving the Targaryen dynasty by murdering his brother before he can kill Ned Stark’s dad and brother, before Rhaegar takes Lyanna. Rhaegar probably isn’t even married to Elia yet.

Downside, Dany and Viserys won’t exist because their dad is dead well before they’re supposed to be born.

Now, the real question after this is Rhaegar.

Rhaegar was reportedly very uneasy about his father but hoping to just wait him out, since Tywin was handling matters of ruling pretty well, and he didn’t want to have to move against his father. But I don’t think that would be enough to make him be like “yeah okay unc, fair enough, you’re good”, especially since Aerys wouldn’t have yet reached the height of his madness. At the very, very, very least he’d get sent to the wall, but it’s way more likely he’d be executed.

Visenya can’t go to the wall, and they can’t be together if Baelon is dead, so they must likely bolt immediately after he kills Aerys and do not come back. Unlike when they do this as Aegon V’s children, they are never going to be able to just sit still and live. They are going to spend the rest of their lives running, and whether they get caught or not entirely depends on how viciously Rhaegar decides to chase them.

Or at least a good bit of their lives, until the Long Night comes and Rhaegar has bigger problems to worry about because Baelon might have accidentally made it so the prince(ss) who was promised was never born.

(I am a firm believer that it is Dany, but I know that is only a theory so decide on that how you will.)

Rhaegar’s siblings:

This is the one case where I think that Baelon and Visenya would fight for the throne, less because they want it or care but because of the murder of their family.

I think it would be interesting if they and Dany were triplets because of the whole three-headed dragon thing, but it’s more likely they were born between Viserys and Dany.

(If they were closer in age to Rhaegar, Baelon would be on the battlefield with him and Visenya back with Elia at the Keep, so they would both be dead.)

The thing is that Baelon and Viserys are constantly at each other’s throats, because Viserys is a nasty little shit who thinks he’s special. Baelon is younger than him, and, like Aemond, he’s small until he hits puberty and has several gigantic growth spurts. Viserys is older and bigger, so for a long while of their childhood Baelon can’t really do anything when one of them “wakes the dragon” and their brother has a fit.

Once he does suddenly shoot up to significantly bigger than Viserys, the dragon wakes a lot less.

Shocker.

Viserys also initially wants to sell Visenya to the Dothraki, and when Baelon immediately has a knife pointed at him, he tells him if it isn’t Visenya then it will have to be Dany. And Baelon looks at Dany and Visenya, kind of huddled up against each other, and Dany’s thirteen. She’s a baby. His baby sister, and he loves her so much, he does.

He loves Visenya more.

He never really forgives himself for it.

He spends most of his time very drunk for a while after Dany is married, or lurking near Visenya because he’s very suspicious of the khalasar. Fights with Viserys a lot more.

Has to shove his head into a bucket of water and scream when he finds out his little sister, tiny and small and so fucking young, is pregnant. Visenya holds him, but sometimes he catches her looking at Dany with this guilt on her face.

And they both know they would be dead already, if they’d let Visenya be the one, because they couldn’t stay apart and Drogo would have caught them together, but it doesn’t make it easier.

When Viserys is killed, Dany turns to look at him. With her big eyes and her soft face, and she’s looking at him like she expects him to do something, and Baelon isn’t even thinking when he kneels.

Visenya only looks at him for a moment before she kneels too.

(“You are the elders,” Dany said, uncertainly, later that night.

“And you,” said Baelon, “are khaleesi.”)

They are, admittedly, not that upset when Drogo dies. Delighted, a little, in fact, though they hurt to see Dany hurt. She does not see the atrocities that they see when they think of her marriage, because she is young and thinks she knows love.

Baelon has never heard his sisters scream the way that they do when the baby dies.

He has never screamed the way he screams when Dany walks into the pyre.

(He has never wept the way he weeps when she walks back out.)

There are three Targaryens for three dragons, and, wherever Dany goes, it’s with Baelon on her right and Visenya on her left. It’s love, for the most part, and it’s guilt for what they allowed to happen to her, but it is loyalty as only dragons can show it.

Three dragons conquered Westeros once, and three dragons do the same all over again.

I hope this kind of answers what you were asking for?? It was fun to think about :)

[gregmarriage]

rant incoming:

i’ve known my sister doesn’t think of me as her sister or really give a shit about me since i was like seven years old. nor does my other sister, but at least she actually tried to be a sister and played dolls with me when i was little. the other one never really tried at all. she’s older, sure, but what does that matter? are you too grown up now you’re 13 to play with your little sister? now we’re all adults, it feels like we’ve lost something. maybe we never had it in the first place. my sister basically saying me and my brother are nothing to her because we’re only a half sibling. probably explains why me and my brother are closer. my sisters have always lived away from us, but that doesn’t necessarily have to affect your closeness. my brother could eventually move out and it wouldn’t change anything between us. my sisters complain i don’t talk to them. but what do i say? you don’t think of me as a real person. as your real sibling. i’m just a person you go through the motions with. you just deal with me, because we share the same dad. what do we talk about? the fact that i don’t have kids or a boyfriend? a fact i felt you always looked down on me for, long before i came out. i can’t relate to you, i can’t go out for drinks and talk about guys. i have no babies to talk about, and even if i did, you’d treat them the same, and i wouldn’t wish that on an innocent child. i can’t talk about being autistic or mentally ill or my physical health issues, because i know you don’t take me seriously. you talk about me behind my back, but you won’t say anything to my face and that’s somehow worse. if you’re going to be cruel, at least be brave about it. i have absolutely nothing in common with you and i never did. you never care to know my interests. if i actually talked about any relationships, it wouldn’t be the same, you’d probably pretend i’m talking about a boy. you think i’m confused all these years later. i can’t get pregnant ‘the natural way’ like you did, so i don’t matter. any children i do have won’t matter to you. you won’t come to my wedding, i didn’t come to yours, not because i didn’t care, but because i physically couldn’t. i couldn’t do the normal wedding things and you’d get annoyed and it’s probably better i stayed home, otherwise i’d have ruined your wedding. my dad may not be the most tolerant person in the world, but at least he’d probably make an effort. you claim to be tolerant but i really don’t think you are. you say i don’t try to talk to you? why make an effort for someone who doesn’t care? who i don’t matter to? your son is half siblings with his sisters? he’s full blood to you. your other half sister is your full blood? your half niece is more of a sister to you than me? that’s nice for her, i can’t resent her, she’s a nice girl with not very good parents. i can’t hate her for anything. it’s not her fault she’s the better me in my sister’s eyes. not gay, not disabled in any way. so totally perfect. the little sister they’ve always wanted. i wish her the best in dealing with women who’s affections change at the drop of a hat. i hope she enjoys being the me i always used to wish i was.

[lockejhaven]

↪ 𝚊 𝚠𝚘𝚛𝚕𝚍 𝚎𝚖𝚋𝚎𝚛 𝚞𝚙𝚍𝚊𝚝𝚎 character : dhares kemal

»»—————————-　𓆩❤︎𓆪　-—————————««

Hello my lovely sprites!

World Ember has started, and as such, I thought I'd give you all an update on what I've been working on. Due to the nature of World Ember, much of my progress has been in the form of brain dumps and rambles... so, I'll make sure to paste this after the cut!

[ 𝙲𝚆: ] violence, mature language, mention of: moths, hanging, injury --- as always, let me know if I missed anything!

⟪ 𝚐𝚎𝚗𝚎𝚛𝚊𝚕 𝚒𝚗𝚏𝚘 ⟫

mortalis: kreos traits: mischievous, loyal, arrogant cousin: Emrasi Eidae reality manipulation: gravity hobbies: pole dancing/general dance, writing fanfic, making bets, eating food wings: teal & gold skin tone: pale pink

⟪ 𝙲𝚊𝚜𝚎𝚒𝚍𝚎 ⟫

Dhares is known for his manipulation of gravity; he even has Caseide’s rune on the back of his neck. What most don’t know, however, is how he came to have this rune.

Originally, Caseide (Archaic Embodiment of Gravity) attempted to seduce Dhares; they are always looking for chaos, an adrenaline rush, and everything in between. It seemed they had succeeded, but once they had, they quickly found Dhares to be much more chaotic than even them. Either Dhares would be unswayed by their dares, he had already done them, or any deadly task they sent him to do, he would survive with ease.

Either that, or they try to make him do some incredibly difficult task in order to kill him... and he’s like “I already did that; do you really think I wouldn’t take the chance to cause more chaos?” And Caseide’s like “...dude” And that’s when Caseide ends up choosing him.

This led to Caseide becoming attached to Dhares; so much so that once, when Desius got ahold of him, they pleaded with Desius to let him go. Thankfully, Desius was more intrigued by the notion that Caseide had actually grown attached to a mortal, so they allowed Dhares to live. 

Caseide was like “hey wait I actually like this one” Desius: “What? I’m still gonna kill him” “BITCH NOOO let him cause more chaos. He causes death too!” -after trying to basically hang Dhares, and he’s floating slightly to allow himself to breathe- “ugh fine” -drops him-

The event that finally earned Dhares his rune was a particularly devastating one; after being attacked and (losing someone?? Idk, trauma I guess), Dhares let loose his rage and managed to sink an entire city deep into the planet. 

Wait… originally I had Dhares destroy an entire wing of the Angel Academy. Instead, I could have him do like, 75% of the goddess realm/Daemis’ home. And that’s when he earns caseide’s rune. This happened because (solaris) sent someone to kidnap Dhares’ partner, and Dhares, being extremely protective, wasn’t about to let that shit happen. So, he went to (solaris) and threatened her to find out where his partner was, and when she refused to tell him, he said ‘fine’ and tore down an entire wing of the building.

Caseide gave him their rune as a reminder, a lesson, and a claim of pride.

⟪ 𝙰𝚍𝚘𝚗𝚒𝚜 ⟫

Adonis and Dhares may have met during some kind of public event; Adonis, a well known dancer + playboy, Dhares a model. Adonis, upon spotting him, immediately decided he must possess him. This did not go to plan.

Adonis was known for his ‘hoard’ of partners; in other words, he tends to be quite affectionate, though possessive. He can be terrifying, and not all of his hoard have consented to be his. Instead, he has somehow come into possession of their souls.

Dhares is the first to somehow turn the tables and obtain possession of Adonis’ soul… which he is less than happy about. He binds him with a soul contract, burning each others’ names into each others’ skin, and then Dhares has full control of him. He can order him to do anything he wants, and if Adonis refuses, the mark on his collarbone will burn. Dhares has captured himself a dragon, and as such, a hoard of other beings, too.

Dhares then proceeds to practically bully Adonis into loving him, and the once Terrifying and Dominating dragon suddenly finds himself melting into Dhares’ affection.

Dhares is the only one that can get away with teasing and challenging Adonis; any others know not to attempt it.

Although Adonis began wanting to possess Dhares, it was more so in a shallow  ‘dragon hoarding pretty things’ way. So, to find himself tricked by Dhares, and then incessantly flirted with… well. Adonis is very much unused to being flustered. And so, the slow burn battle begins. 

Dhares manages to piss off Adonis so much that he  ‘attacks’ him. And Dhares… gets flustered.

Both Dhares and Emrasi wear a lot of purple; the color of corruption and perceived power. Dhares’ energy has flecks of gold, revealing his true power, and Emrasi has lots of gold accents. In both cases, the purple is to throw off their ‘adversaries’ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L51xc6iqeaU 

Dhares and Funis??? - Funis might manage to fluster him due to being so naturally sweet…

⟪ 𝙳𝚊𝚎𝚖𝚒𝚜 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝙰𝚒𝚕𝚎𝚝 ⟫

Dhares somehow heard about Daemis and her struggle w/ the goddesses/ghosts. So, in typical Dhares fashion, he decided to investigate. Which led to him messing with her and ‘taking her down a peg.’

In this case, he gave her an Alatheian soul; one to ‘solve’ her issue with falling goddesses. Of course, his deals always have consequences, and this didn’t go as Daemis expected. Dhares was quite pleased to watch Ailet turn the tide of history and bring Daemis to paranoia.

During this time, he made a bet with Daemis, in which he bet his own soul; something to do with her death. He didn’t expect her to survive after Ailet went after her, but… Daemis does survive.

Later, Dhares finds out he never had a soul to begin with; and so, he finds the loophole to free himself from his bond to Daemis. (Daemis’ name is a magykal tattoo on his collarbone, only legible to him and Daemis.) Unfortunately, Dhares didn’t expect Ailet to get caught by the Remnant King after this. 

⟪ 𝚜𝚝𝚞𝚏𝚏 𝚝𝚘 𝚎𝚡𝚙𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚘𝚗 ⟫

Dhares was not only one of the first few kreos to be blessed, but the very first. Malefis didn’t even mean to bless him in the first place. Originally, Kreos were born with only a sliver of their souls, which is  captured and put into a pendant. Once a kreos died, that was it; they wouldn’t reincarnate. Malefis blessed them, and suddenly the kreos became… honestly kinda OP. LOL. I don’t even remember HOW Malefis ‘accidentally’ blessed him?? All I know is that Dhares, who usually has a VERY high pain tolerance, was in tears when his wings began to grow in. (By high pain tolerance, I mean he barely flinched when a goddamn crystal was SHOVED into his chest)

Dhares wasn’t always so confident, but that’s not too surprising. He used to be a lot more impulsive than he is now, and would often cause his cousin to have heart attacks due to worry. (need to make a doc for Emrasi as well)

Unlike a lot of idiotic humans, Dhares knows that sexual intimacy is a desire, not a need, so he'd be 100% fine if he never did anything ever again

»»—————————-　𓆩❤︎𓆪　-—————————««

⟪ 𝚠𝚘𝚛𝚕𝚍 𝚊𝚗𝚟𝚒𝚕 ⟫

Currently struggling to figure out how tf I want to organize the above… even if I were to make my own sections, I have no idea what to do with them.

» 𝚖𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚊𝚕 ---

Accomplishments/Achievements: Tricking a dragon into giving him their soul. He’s quite proud of that one.

Failures/Embarrassments: One of few of Dhares’ failures includes the bet he made with Daemis; a bet that she would not last beyond a certain point in time. He lost this bet, as she survived a blow he never expected, and his soul ended up belonging to her, rather than the other way around. Funnily enough, he later learned he didn’t even have a soul. The bet was then void, and he easily freed himself.

Intellectual Characteristics: Dhares can often seem impulsive, airheaded, and like a bit of a himbo, but this actually isn’t the case at all. He is much smarter than he seems, and uses his more ‘flighty’ personality to mask his intentions.

Morality & Philosophy: Hates when people want/have power just for the sake of power. Also hates those that take advantage of their power. 

Known Languages: Due to the fact he often travels, explores, and makes bets with all sorts of people, Dhares has picked up many languages over his lifetime, including that of shiva, fae, khirvik, and more.

» 𝚙𝚎𝚛𝚜𝚘𝚗𝚊𝚕 ---

Virtues & Perks: Dhares is incredibly loyal, often to a fault, though he’d never admit that. Even though his intentions may not be obvious, once you’ve gained his affection, he would do anything to keep you safe and happy.

Vices (Bad Habits) & Flaws: Dhares can sometimes push people too far, when it comes to his affectionate bullying, or just his general tendencies to annoy people. He can also be quite possessive and will go to extreme lengths to protect that which he believes to be his.

Ticks & Quirks: Due to Malefis’ blessing, Dhares has large, bulletproof moth wings, antennae, and an attraction to sparkly things. Because of this, he will often get distracted by light. So much so that Adonis will ‘play’ with him by wearing reflective/sparkly outfits, or even turning on lights to distract him. Dhares will literally chase a sparkly light with zero self control.

» 𝚜𝚘𝚌𝚒𝚊𝚕 ---

Family Ties: Dhares has a cousin, Emrasi Eidae. That is literally all I know. Thanks brain.

Religious Views: Although Dhares believes in the existence of gods and archaics, he hardly believes them to be any better than him or other beings. Instead, he views them as equals; people, just like him, and he judges them based on their own merits. 

Social Aptitude/Mannerisms: Dhares is known to be extremely flirtatious. It’s incredibly difficult to pinpoint whether he does so for shallow fun, or with deeper intentions. He is very good at reading people. In this way, he is often able to figure out exactly what a person desires and what motivates them, as well as what will be most likely to teach them a lesson, if they seem to lack empathy for others.

Pets & Hobbies: Long after moving to Firma, Dhares discovers hummingbirds and immediately falls in love with them. Later, Adonis gives him an aviary as well as an injured hummingbird in need of a home. It isn’t long before Dhares ends up with an entire colorful charm of them.     Dhares is also quite obnoxious in that he writes fanfic in his free time. Often of himself and his partners, though his readers have no idea it’s actually him. His pen name is well known in the fanfic community.     Along with this, Dhares loves to dance, though this becomes more of a difficulty once his wings grow in.

»»—————————-　𓆩❤︎𓆪　-—————————««

~ Of Fables & Feathers,

🕊️ Locke J. Haven

locket’s tags:  ╔═════════════════════╗

@365runesofwriting   @enchanted-lightning-aes   @thepixiediaries   @midnight-and-his-melodiverse   @perasperaadastrawriting @fearofahumanplanet @orphicpoieses @writeblrsupport @andromedatalksaboutstuff [ your tag could be here… ]

╚═════════════════════╝

[sapphroditewrites]

Introduction Post!/DNI List

Hi, my name is aurora, im 24, and i have a full time job sooo unfortunately frequent fic updates/posts aren’t a guarantee. but i do love to write, and i find the time to do it when i can! My pronouns are she/her and I identify as a lesbian. i grew up in south jersey and i live in philly now, so i curse like a sailor. my zodiac sun is capricorn, my moon is leo, my rising is virgo (for all u astrology hoes out there) and im INFP if that means anything to u (i dont understand it at all)

im part of the unholy trinity of bishova, we come up with silly little fic ideas that turn into full-length novels together. they’re the reason i write, and i lov them a lot. u should follow them (functionally-medicated and laurie-bishop) on here, if u want the full experience. if anything ever happened to them or if anybody ever hurt them emotionally or physically i would hunt that person down in a completely feral state, unaware of my surroundings or actions, and what follows is not for me to say or take blame for.

Here’s some links:

my linktr.ee, which is basically all of these in one place except my ao3 bc minors follow me on tiktok and i... dont want them reading my fics or at least i dont wanna know abt them reading my fics lol

my main blog (desktop link)

My Twitter (until the rat man ruins it for good, this is the main place for my madness)

My ao3 (Please note that due to my deep fear of ai stealing my shit, all of my fics are only accessible to ao3 users; i will not be posting them anywhere else.)

And yes, my tiktok. (it’s literally just shitposts, mostly bishova)

DM’s and Ask Box are open for questions, comments, etc! Don’t be shy to ask about anything, I’m an open book and I give very mid advice. (if u are looking for romantic advice please know most of my exes cheated on me and i have deeply rooted emotional issues. so my advice will be ‘break up’ or ‘just ask them out the worst they can say is no’. if those are not the answers u seek i am not ur love doctor) I’m not taking requests for fics, but i’m down for discussion for ideas and i might even end up writing something! If I do, I’ll ofc refer to the post(s) and give credit where it’s due. Or if it’s a blurb/drabble I’ll just respond in the ask.

You DO NOT have permission to share/steal my work onto other platforms unless it’s for the sole purpose of promoting the fic itself. For example, if you like to share links to your favorite fics on a tumblr or discord, that’s fine. You cannot claim it as your own, nor do I want anything read in a recorded space or shared with any cast/crew/whatever. (It makes me uncomfortable, and yes, this is something that has happened before lol.) Please and thank you x

OK DNI:

-if you write/read noncon/dubcon and dead dove fics, i have a lot of really negative views and putting them all here will just make my teeth itch

-if you’re a minor, please dni with my 18+ content!!!!!! I realize I can’t prevent y’all from coming here or reading my fics but i dont need to hear about it! im happy ur reading my stuff, and im very grateful, but pls understand that as an adult it makes me uncomfy hearing abt it, and any normal adult should probably feel that way.

-however, if u are a minor and an adult on here is giving u some weird vibes this blog is very much a safe space to talk abt them, i am very here for u, idc who they are or who you are, i do not tolerate adults taking advantage of kids in any way shape or form and i will go full mama bear mode

-terfs and maps/p*dos and other similar degenerates stay far the fuck away. i am not above publicly shaming you, and i am really really good at swinging and hitting low. i will bring up ur dead relative and im going to talk abt fucking ur mom. if ur mom is dead ill talk abt fucking ur dad. i dont care.

-lemme reiterate, TERFS are NOT ALLOWED. i specifically hate you so deeply, so intensely, my breasts ache with rage at the thought of being able to verbally or physically smack one of you bitches into the dirt. on this blog we respect the FUCK out of pronouns and gender identity and if u can’t vibe with that i genuinely think u are actual garbage, u are subhuman to me, if god asked me to recreate the caste system you would be at the bottom and i would get off to watching you suffer.

-i am once again repeating dead dove accounts stay far away from me. i dont go out of my way to be a bitch to you directly, so i am just asking you do the same for me. i do think we can hate each other and co-exist, unlike me and the terfs. 

(random shit about me below the cut line. im sorry, it’s best u just find out i am literally insane right off the bat)

i work at a small coffee shop that’s also a chocolate/ice cream store (i will not be writing a coffee shop au, unless it’s for one of the unholy trinity or someone who has a plot idea that will make me overlook writing my job in fanfic). i do actually think i am the hottest person in the room most of the time, and the funniest at least half of the time.

My hobbies include complaining, playing ps4 or my nintendo switch (please tell me if u play ACNH, i had to get a new switch and my whole ass island was deleted. i need some fucking iron nuggets please im begging on my knees), and playing chess on chess dot com. (yes, im single, thank u for asking). i can play a weird variety of instruments but not well. I rewatch glee every other month, and twilight every month. i can recite the entire first 20-30 mins of the emperor’s new groove from memory, and also most of yzma’s lines. i have a lot of love for satire and adult cartoons, meaning i will unironically defend south park (but my favorite adult cartoons are bob’s burgers, king of the hill, and futurama) my favorite color is pink, my favorite singers are Amy Winehouse & Taylor Swift (and i could write an entire essay on their lyrical geniuses, musical styles, and what songs of theirs i think go together perfectly). my favorite food is potatoes, my favorite animals are bears (specifically the spectacled bear), and my favorite flowers are pink japanese camellias. now you know the most intimate details of my personality. holy shit are you still reading. bro i just put this here because i thought it would be funny. i ddin’t even think someone would read this post. damn u must really wanna know abt me huh. ok well my favorite alcoholic drink is some goddamn jim beam bourbon or whiskey over a lot of ice. close second is jack and coke. i’m on antipsychotics so i can’t get drunk often, and when i do it’s after 2 drinks. i can’t take nyquil because it aggravates my mental issues. i am allergic to pollen, tree nuts, and literal spiders and mosquitoes (their bites give me rashes that look like im dying of some rare disease). i have 8 tattoos. i do 2000 crunches a day. i can hold a plank for 2 mins and 33 seconds. (learning margot robbie can do this for 4 mins has awakened something very competitive in me). i can hold the flex arm hang for so long i get bored and have to stop. holy shit dude ur still reading? jesus chirst. i can read tarot cards. i can read runestones. i’ve had the same nightmare/dream since i was 7, in different angles / places / scenarios, but always the same universe. i read wiki articles for fun and it’s not even about cool things like ww1 or the geneva convention. i have 2 older brothers that i love. we are the same people. my mom is my favorite person. she is why my brothers and i are Like That. my stepdad gave me good taste in film and women. my stepmom’s life is more interesting than mine or yours ever will be. my dad is slowly becoming a swifty, but he’s also unfortunately starting to fall down the right-wing pipeline and it’s a mega fucking bummer dude. thanks, joe rogan. i can do a not good kermit the frog impression but by god will i keep doing it. if im not in film for writing or directing then im going for acting bc at the end of the day at least im cute and funny. i am fully convinced i could kick ben shapiro’s ass. i am also fully convinced i could kick joe rogan’s ass. i play chess so that if i am for whatever reason challenged by andrew tate, i can humiliate him and make him fucking weep. and i also just like it and have been playing it my entire life. i am a certified pothead and stoner, and i vibe heaviest w the sober ppl at parties. speaking of parties and bars, i am the drunk white girl in the bathroom that tells you you look beautiful, sometimes while sobbing. speaking of sobbing, i cry really easily watching movies and tv shows, and i have gotten really good at holding it back just enough so i get that cheryl blossom style single tear down the cheek for a bit. i can cry on command, and my form of self-defense is barking (and now ppl are starting to do it on tiktok so it feels less original but it also feels good knowing that it’s so fucking effective) ok dam if u really read all this ur fucking nuts dude kudos to u tho. i am literally actually insane though fr fr like not in a cute way literally in a ‘what is wrong with u’ way. lots of things is the answer. 

[lenny-zaim-sucks]

Update 06/12/2022

The liar is still here. The deal was that he’d be my lodger till September but he has of course extended his stay with further excuses, oh and the joke is that his supposed student finance still hasn’t come through a whole year on! I really am a mug aren’t I? I really hope God rewards me for giving this homeless man somewhere to live for free and that it won’t be classed as sinning since he’s a non-mahrem. Sigh, Lord knows I’ve wanted him gone for a long time. I just want my money and to never know him again.

We’ve tried this fake friendship thing for a year but lets be real, the guy’s a piece of shit. He still lies to women which ain’t my business but it’s like he hasn’t learnt from the past at all. It basically goes to show he’s still a liar, a thing which I hate most. I think due to this he will be forever destined to wind up alone despite his desperation for a wife because he curses himself with the karma of his lies and he’ll accuse me of interfering when no woman is interested or it ends in divorce lol as if he’s not a fuck up.

The loser is already accusing me of snooping on his conversations with women, flattering himself into thinking i give af. I can’t even hear when he’s on the phone from my bedroom. He clearly doesn’t want me to hear cos he’s blatantly lying to them about stuff lol after all he’s not shy about talking to his friends in front of me.

He’s causing up a stink saying I’m mean because I don’t want to be his friend. If you’ve read this entire blog you know exactly why I don’t want to be his friend. He literally doesn’t see it. So typical of the self proclaimed nice guy. Does he not know that it’s a universal truth well acknowledged that a man who claims to be the nice guy is in fact not the nice guy!

He likes to play victim and the more he talks the more I see how he views things from his warped perspective which I frankly don’t agree with. He’s still spewing his age old trope about how I was intimate with other men during the talking stage with him, as if it equates to his transgressions of full on lying and cheating. I don’t think he even considers anything he did as cheating.. surprise surprise.

Lil buddy needs to give it a rest now and seriously grow the fuck up cos what kind of posessive psycho expects loyalty from the jump when they’re not even truthful and loyal themselves.. How after 3 years does he still not get that?? Lol he’s so fucking weird! Firstly I didn’t see no ring on my finger so he really wanted husband level commitment at not even the boyfriend stage.. thats the bare minimum! He’s really saying the talking stage where there’s no labels lmao. To me he was nothing more than a young dumb foreign hook up but he had to love bomb me.

He’s also trying to act like sex is an intimate meaningful act as if this fool hasn’t slept with hookers, wasn’t out having casual sex and his dick in a few mouths literally from the moment I met him lol i cannot. He’s so entitled it’s laughable. Like did he not do the same thing to his tramp ex? He spoke seriously with her about marriage while fucking other women and then he wants to lecture me ffs!

I can’t be friends with someone like that. They’re just nonsensical and that level of stupidity bothers my spirit. He gots ta gooo!!!

[havange]

INTRODUCTION LUV!

It’s came to my attention by my own damn self that I never really introduced myself. I just got on this page and started my shit up…LMFAAAOOOO😭😭😭

My names Kairo,you can just call me Kai for short and if you have a cute nickname I’ll accept it too.

This page is mostly about random shit I just feel like putting out into the world. Which is included but not limited to, me mostly talking about Loki. Hence most of my posts being about him, random things going on in my life that I just feel the want to post about, me wanting to hype myself up, let’s not forget about my absolute LOOVVE for expressing myself with gifs, also obsessions I pick up or just giving my ideas on tv shows, etc.

Fun facts:

I love the colors purple and black

my devilishly charming bestie beloved is no other than the infamous @halfblood-princes-crown (if you see us going back n forth at any time mind ya damn business💋smooches)

I Stan Loki (SOULMATE PEOPLE SOULMATE), Snape, Lucius (my Luci😍), Marvel & DC tbh, X-men FO SHO, I Stan a lot of other shit but you’ll see it when you see it, I’m lazy so I don’t feel like writing it all down.

I do watch anime so do feel free to recommend some! (if you wanna be my show buddy just say that babe🥰)

I use a LOT of gifs and mainly reference people with pet names (I didn’t choose this lifestyle it chose me), some may think it’s corny and those who do kick rocks

I AAMMMM a part of the Rainbow Mafia (AKA the LGBTQ+ community) also the black community. My pronouns even though stated in my bio are, They/Them/Theirs. I am non-binary. respect it and if not get the fuck off my page easy and simple as that.

Biggest fact has to be, I may be a fuckin sweetheart but I don’t give a damn. If you come onto my page with disrespectful ignorance I am not nice about anything that I feel needs to be said unless I feel as though you genuinely do not know, which 99% of the time won’t happen. I don’t take excuses if I know you are choosing to be plain ignorant. In other words, your sorry ass sob stories don’t work on me. Personally, I don’t do arguing unless I’m in the mood so if you come in here on full throttle u may or may not receive a response back it depends on how worthy your argument is💀 ZERO TOLERANCE ONCE AGAIN! U will be blocked, or given colorful words and a beautiful reminder of just how much of a dumbass you are if u come into this space on that bullshit.

Rules:

Have some decent basic human fucking respect

Respect others IDENTITIES!!! I don’t care how heated an argument can get that is no reason to disregard a persons identity

Please be 18+ if you are going to comment, respost, tag, etc. on my post, tbh this page is only for ADULTS.

NO FUCKING SPOILING!

If you are soft and you can’t handle the amount of unhinged cursing that I do…stay off my page.

Do not come in here with ignorance and you have things in that bio or that page. I am not a bigger person, will never claim to be a bigger person and I will use whatever you have in there to my liking like a grocery store. Thx management

I want my page to be a “safe” space for everyone but at the same time my main priority is making sure this page is actually ME. If at any time I feel as though things are getting a bit out of hand I will address them whenever I feel like it and if I am comfortable. Prime example: if people are talking about something that personally triggers me.

Other than that enjoy my page!!

[lesbianweedqueen]

my personal favorite ways to consume weed

Like most of my posts, this is my opinion only. I do not claim anything I say as factual or true for every single person.

In case you somehow didn’t know, there are numerous ways to consume weed—edibles, smoking, topical creams—and then all those ways also have different ways that they can be done!

Let’s take edibles, my second-favorite way to consume bud, for example: Using edibles is just consuming marijuana by eating it. There are so many different fun edibles to make, one of my favorites is edible sugar. I’ll drop a spoonful or seven into my cup of coffee in the morning, wait an hour, then bam!—and excellent morning to an excellent day.

Edibles worked for me for a while, but eventually I realized that the high I experienced from them wasn’t what I was looking for. No matter how little I took, I’d feel like my body was heavy, and I wouldn’t feel up to do much other than lay around and watch television.

Joints were better, but made my head feel fuzzy. Blunts gave me a lazy high. Eventually, I got a mini bubbler that was red and had Hello Kitty’s face on it. I loved that fucking thing. The highs didn’t make me lazy, and they didn’t make my head feel too fuzzy to focus on things.

It was around when I went back to college for a summer to take a couple of Italian classes that I started using the bubbler and smoking. This was actually the first time I ever used weed “responsibly”.

I had to keep my camera on during the classes, but I’d always have my little Hello Kitty bubbler just out of sight and I’d duck down at random intervals to smoke. Despite the class being online because it was the start of the pandemic, it still gave me major anxiety (go figure: classrooms—virtual or not—are one of my biggest triggers for anxiety attacks).

Unfortunately, my blind and deaf asshole dog (that I didn’t initially even want but have come to reluctantly love) knocked it over one day because he thought he smelled a treat. Luckily for me, I had already finished my courses for that summer semester, so it wasn’t like I was doing anything important that I needed to be motivated for or whatever.

I turned to joints after that, which is how I learned they made it harder for me to focus. Whenever I smoked a joint, it wasn’t really to help me with life, but just to make lying around doing nothing with my life more fun.

It was a few months after this that I tried LSD for the first time and learned that taking a small dose once in a while (sometimes once a month, sometimes once a week, but not more often than that) helped me to slowly (slowly as in like it took over a year) overcome my alcoholism.

Once I stopped taking LSD in infrequent, small doses I tried to use weed again. I knew that I had finally found the right mental state to quit drinking, but there was still the issue of all my other mental illnesses that weren’t caused by the alcoholism, like my severe depression and anxiety.

Finally, I treated myself around Christmas and bought a full-sized bong for the first time. This day, my love for bongs was born.

I love, love, love bongs. Smoking doesn’t make me lazy or unfocused, just slightly more relaxed and in tune with the shit around me. I’m still able to be super productive while still being “high” in a way that suits me.

The only time I didn’t like bongs was the second time I tried a time bomb which, if you don’t know, is when you roll a joint and put it in the bowl, then pack the remaining space with loose bud. Light and smoke the joint through the bong and once it gets to the middle it lights the loose bud around it.

It’s basically just smoking a joint and a bong at the same time, and for whatever reason it got me higher than I’ve ever been. The first time, it was nice—it was 10pm at night, I was editing some gay fanfiction I wrote, and I had nothing to do in the morning, so it didn’t matter if it fried my brain and left me sleepy after.

Editing was…it was fun. That’s really the only way I can say it.

The rest of this post isn’t going to make any sense unless you know. If you don’t know, you don’t know, you know?

The second time I tried a time bomb (the day after I tried it the first time), I “broke through the barrier of reality” or whatever. I had only “done” this twice before, and both times were because of doses of LSD that were higher than I expected.

When it happened for the first time while smoking bud, I was a bit startled. This was yesterday. Today, I’ve made it clear to myself that I will do not my best not to smoke time bombs unless I know I have a full twenty-four hours to just fuck around in that headspace.

It’s slightly disappointing, because from the two times I set up a time bomb, I fell in love with it. For whatever reason, I just had so much fun preparing it. I’m just weird, I guess.

But they also look like nipples! It was like smoking a nipple! How would that not look funny?! They just aren’t for me, sadly. RIP time bombs.

Thank you for taking the time to read another one of my random ramblings <3

[irynochka]

the other sad and frightening part our friend mentioned about the soldiers was about another young man from her hometown in Ukraine..

First of all his family also had to buy him his own bulletproof vest after he signed up (like she just did for her brother esp after hearing about this..); the Ukrainian army continues to be largely be lacking in even basic supplies. idk. I don’t know if they are receiving incorrect/unusable supplies, or if the issue is distributing the supplies to the necessary troops across Ukraine, or if corruption throughout our government and military ranks continues to misdirect funds and resources. I suspect a combination of all three but feel like this is something I’m going to want to look further into. Upon a quick search at least in regards to vests specifically, I see multiple articles about multiple government agencies as well as private and non-profit organizations pledging to donate usually up to 1000 vests. Not sure how far those have gone, but quick search also says there are 246k soldiers in Ukraine’s armed forces (197k of which are military personnel) so honestly if we were starting with like the 10 vests left over from the last decade (cause every soldier was already buying their own shit, non-lol) then we may still be far far from full coverage. every single soldier needs/deserves a shield before going into battle and we’re clearly way too vulnerable.

What was meant to be the most shocking/important note here is that, second of all,,, the army told this group of soldiers they were heading over by train to a village *just to patrol* etc. apparently they were taken to right by a currently *extremely hot/active war zone*, there was gunfire and many of them passed away. Her friend has gunshot wounds and *only survived bc of the vest* his family pooled together money for.

It’s so horrible that someone would be sent right into combat without fair warning of where they’re going, of the current conditions when they’re known. I can only think it was done bc the immediate leaders feared (probably correctly) that some soldiers, especially the least equipped least protected, would flee before knowingly walking into an impossible situation (so ofc it’s better to send them in unwitting and just let them die? Ugh). And/or the leaders think the higher death toll is at least “good” for attracting more attention and help, which is morally sick. Evidently I am not well-versed in how military operations work and my dad is claiming that no one in the military is basically ever told anything about the missions they’re being sent on, but idk is it really normal to send soldiers directly into an active warzone without bulletproof vests, under the impression they’re entering a peaceful village with a small risk of falling under attack?

So yeah if you see fundraisers for “basic” supplies like bulletproof vests, binoculars, flashlights, anything for shelter, chances are it’s a real ask and there is in fact a very brave but very ill-equipped soldier/troop fearing for their life all the way on the other side (though do be wary of /vaguely specific/ requests via DM from ur friends or strangers etc most seem to request ~$500 via paypal - scams !!!!!). some of the best fundraisers right now are being well-organized by private individuals, especially the ones organized by Ukrainians directly in touch with troops and related organizers across Ukraine, using regional and military expertise to help explain and buy the specific equipment needed. Donating directly to the army and humanitarian organizations to help affected civilians is all very good too but if Ukraine’s defensive forces don’t come together SOON, FAST then our motherland will be decimated. More than it already has been.

[the-bau-quinjet]

One Misunderstanding

Bucky x Reader

Summary: You struggle to fix Bucky's first impression of you. Bucky struggles with his own feelings.

Warnings: angst, Hydra things- like brainwashing and torture, a few curse words, panic attacks, anxiety

Word count: 5609

a/n: this idea came to me very suddenly, but I'm in love with it. Hopefully whatever I just wrote does it justice.

Masterlist

"Everyone, meet Y/N. She's the newest member of our little group, bringing in a whole new level of hacking and tech skills. Y/N, meet the team." Tony introduced you to everyone, eager to share your skills.

You turned to the group, getting ready to introduce yourself further, but instead tripped. You shrieked as you fell down the small set of stairs you were at the top of.

Sam, being the closest, caught you. "Good thing you've got tech skills." He chuckled as you righted yourself, firmly planting your feet on the ground.

"Haha, yeah. I'm not a big fan of violence." You winced as you said it, wishing you could take it back. You didn't want to get into the reasons as to why you don't like violence.

To your surprise, nobody asked why. You would have guessed they would have questions, but maybe they weren't interested in your past. They all had their own issues to deal with afterall.

"Eh, we don't need anymore people for fighting anyway. Welcome to the team." Steve greeted you warmly, as you would have expected from America's golden boy.

You gratefully shook his hand, glad to not have to talk about anything yet. Unfortunately, you tripped again when you tried to move back, falling into the one and only Bucky Barnes.

His hands steadied you, dryly laughing at your clumsiness. "You really are clumsy."

You did you best to not show how embarrassed you were. You couldn't deny the claim. Unless you were fighting, something you vowed to yourself to never do again, you were clumsy.

Being abducted and tortured by Hydra may have made you a competent fighter, but your aptitude for tripping over nothing never left.

"Right, sorry!" You greeted everyone else quickly, eager to get situated in your room. "I'm just going to unpack everything." You waved as you backed out of the room, bumping into the wall as you left.

-

You had just finished putting away your stuff when you heard a knock on your door.

"Come in!" You figured someone would have questions for you.

Unsurprisingly, Natasha was the one to step into your room. Of everyone there, you expected her to have learned about your past. It comes with the territory of being a spy.

"Hi, I was hoping to talk to you." Her tone was friendly, but clearly she was skeptical of you. Again, you weren't surprised.

"I thought you might. I'm assuming you read my file? Honestly, I thought everyone would." You laughed gently, shaking your head at yourself.

"I did. Your file is pretty bare bones though. I did some extra digging... Not everyone else is as nosy as me." She grinned, already pleased with your openness. "So, why'd you pretend to be clumsy?"

"Oh, it wasn't pretend. I've always been clumsy. When everything happened, and I learned how to fight, I thought my newfound agility would help. Turns out, it didn't. The only times I'm even the slightest bit coordinated are when I'm fighting or training, but I wasn't lying about that either. When I escaped, I promised myself I wouldn't hurt anyone else."

"Why join the Avengers at all then?" She looked curious, still unsure if she could trust you.

"I wanted to help people. I just didn't want to use the skills they gave me to do it. So, I learned how to code, figured I could help behind the scenes."

She smiled, letting down her guard. Clearly it would take some time, but you could easily see the two of you being close friends.

"So, nobody knows about what you went through?" She couldn't help but be curious about your past.

"Nope. I don't talk about it much, but it's not a secret. I'll answer anything you want to know." You smiled, eager to try and make a real friend here.

You spent the next few hours answering every question Natasha could think of. You told her about being abducted and experimented on.

That lead to even more questions, basically boiling down to the fact that you're not a super soldier, but you do have enhanced senses- and seemingly enhanced clumsiness for when you're not using them.

You told her about learning how to fight, and the punishments you would endure if you got it wrong. The two of you bonded over the shared experience.

Finally, you told her about how you escaped. When the Winter Soldier escaped, every Hydra effort possible was made to find him. That included you. Resources were spread thin, trying to cover more areas. It was the perfect opportunity for you to get out.

"Really, I owe my freedom to him. Even if he doesn't know anything about me." You felt the tears in your eyes, too many emotions swirling through you to keep it all in anymore. "Since then, I've learned everything I could about technology and coding, which pretty much brings you up to date."

Before she could ask anymore questions, there was another knock on your door. Quickly wiping the tears from your eyes, you called another "come in!"

Steve poked his head in the door, cautiously looking between you and Nat.

"I've been sent to stop the interrogation." He grinned, stepping farther into the room.

Nat rose from her spot on the bed, kissing him on the cheek while rolling her eyes. "It wasn't an interrogation. We were bonding."

"Yeah, over what?" He chuckled, trying to figure out what the two of you had in common.

Maybe it was the look in your eyes, or maybe Nat just likes knowing more than everyone, but she smiled conspiratorially at you before responding. "Girl stuff, babe. Just girl stuff."

You smiled as the couple left the room, grateful for not having to explain everything again.

-

Over the next few weeks, the team constantly teased you for your clumsiness. Well, not the whole team. Nat knew the truth, so she never said anything. Peter never teased you either, although that is likely due to the teasing he endures as well.

Weirdly enough, you bonded with the kid over it, eventually telling him about your past as well.

Normally you could shake it off. They clearly didn't mean anything by it. Except Bucky.

Whenever he said anything, he stared you down. His eyes felt like they were piercing your soul. You're not sure exactly why, but he didn't seem to like you much.

Which wouldn't be an issue if you didn't have an embarrassing crush on the man.

Really your infatuation started when you first escaped Hydra. His own escape lead to your freedom, so you admired him. When you found out he was working with the Avengers to help people, you admired him even more.

Watching him on missions is really what caused the infatuation to blossom into a full blown crush.

You, however, would adamantly deny that if anyone ever asked. Which is what just happened.

"What?!" You nearly tripped, again, with how quickly you turned to look at Wanda and Nat.

"You heard me." Nat stared at you, a neutral expression on her face. "When are you going to do something about your crush on Barnes."

"I, I don't- I don't have a crush on Bucky." You stuttered, a lackluster job at denying the truth.

"Please, Y/N. It's so obvious!" Wanda joined in.

The three of you hung out a lot around the compound. It was nice to have a support system to lean on when things got hard.

"Well, even if I did, which I'm not saying I do! He doesn't like me. I don't know what I did, but his eyes feel like daggers whenever we're in the same room." You started out strong, but quickly morphed into a sad resignation. It genuinely upset you that Bucky didn't like you.

"I think I might know what that's about..." Wanda bit her lip, immediately feeling guilty at having said anything.

"What!?" You eagerly turned to her, needing answers. You shuffled your way across the room, never fully rising from your seat on the ground.

"I don't know if I should tell you! I'm not even supposed to know, but sometimes his thoughts are really loud!" Her guilt multiplied.

"You have to tell me now! Then I can fix it!" You were practically begging at her feet from your position on the floor.

She looked at Nat, who just shrugged in return. "Not my place, although I would love to hear it."

"Ugh, fine. But you can't tell anyone I told you!" Wanda glared at the two of you, unable to say no to your pouting face. "The first day we all met you, do you remember what you said?"

Your face scrunched as you tried to remember. "I'm not a big fan of violence?"

She nodded, looking at you as if she just told you everything.

"So?" You asked incredulously, unable to follow her train of thought.

She rolled her eyes, having to spell it out for you. "He kind of took that personally..."

Immediately, you sunk completely to the floor. "Oh, god. Fuck! That's not what I meant at all! I just meant I don't personally like using violence! Shit, shit, shit." You continued to mutter to yourself as Nat and Wanda shared a look.

"Why don't you like using violence?" Wanda asked, intrigued by your reaction.

You thought back to your conversation with Nat the first day you got here. You told her it wasn't a secret, it just wasn't something you brought up.

"Can you just look in my head? I don't really wanna explain it, but I want you to know." You asked, glad to share you past with another friend.

Wanda nodded, seemingly doing nothing until realization dawned on her.

"Oh shit." She whispered, not even realizing she said it out loud.

"Yeah." You huffed out a dry laugh.

"Y/N... I'm so sorry." You smiled at her, having worked through most of the trauma already. "You totally have a crush on Barnes though."

That earned a real laugh. "Hey, that's not what you were in there for!"

"It's not my fault! You were thinking it really loudly!"

The three of you laughed together until you sunk back into a pit of despair.

"What do I do? How do I fix this?" You whined, laying back on the ground like a child.

"I think you just need to talk to him. Explain what you meant." Wanda shrugged, unsure of any other advice to offer you.

"She's right. Just talk to him." Nat nodded along as you whined on the floor.

-

After a few days, you finally worked up enough courage to try and talk to Bucky. He had just finished training, so you knew exactly where he'd be: in the kitchen.

Walking in, you were glad to see him pulling ingredients from the fridge.

"Hey Bucky, can I, um, talk to you for a minute?" You stuttered through the words, nervous about what he would say.

He barely looked at you, nodding his head for you to continue.

"I just, I wanted to apologize." You trailed off when his head snapped up.

"For what?" Well shit. How are you supposed to explain this one without ratting out Wanda.

"Oh, well, um... I just thought maybe I said- I did something that upset you. Uh, you just don't seem to like me very much, which is totally cool, you don't have to like me if you don't want to. I just didn't want it to be my fault... Fuck." That went horribly. Taking a deep breath, you started over. "I didn't mean it."

Bucky is looking at you like you have three heads. "Didn't mean what?"

"That I don't like violence."

"So you do... like violence." He'd somehow grown more confused.

"Well, no." You paused, unsure of how to explain yourself.

"Then you did mean it." His soul piercing stare is back.

"I-"

"It's fine, save it. Some people get to choose not to be violent." And with that, he left the kitchen, abandoning his post workout smoothie.

You stared at the doorway, in shock over how poorly that went. You stood there , unaware of the 25 minutes that had passed, trying to figure out how it could've gone better when Steve found you.

"Y/N? What are you doing?"

You didn't hear him, too lost in the memories. Memories of Hydra, forcing you to do things you never wanted to. This happened from time to time if something triggered you into remembering, otherwise you had a handle on your emotions.

"Y/N?" Steve said your name again, concern evident in his voice. He gently laid a hand on your shoulder, trying to get your attention.

Everything happened so fast after that. The feeling of someone's hand on your shoulder caused you to panic. With all the memories of Hydra in your head, your training kicked in instinctually.

You grabbed Steve's arm, pulling him closer to you for better leverage. Before he could question your moves, you flipped him, pinning him to the ground.

The second you made eye contact, you realized what just happened. Horror and regret flashed in your eyes.

In an effort to get off him, you threw yourself backward, knocking into a cart full of pots and pans. The clanging of metal hitting the ground echoed through the small room.

Steve sat up slowly, trying to register the turn of events. You sat in a ball on the floor, tears pooling in your eyes, mumbling apologies over and over again.

Sam, having heard the commotion from the pots and pans, ran into the kitchen ready to fight.

"What- What happened?" He asked in confusion, lowering his arms from their defensive position.

"I don't know." Steve looked at you, still trying to figure it out.

"Y/N?" Sam's voice was gentle, but it still startled you.

You jumped from the ground, rushing to help Steve get up. "I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to. I never wanted to hurt anyone again." Your breathing was picking up, short bursts of air leaving your lungs. Your hands were shaking as you pulled him from the ground.

Your panic increased as you took in their concerned expressions.

"Hey, look at me." Steve's Captain voice, came out, urging you to make eye contact. You followed orders, breathing rapidly, your whole body shaking.

"I'm going to touch you now, is that okay?" His words were gentle, but commanding, causing you to nod in response.

He pulled you into a tight hug, rubbing soothing circles on your back.

You wanted to explain, to tell them what happened, but all that came out was a pitiful "Bucky".

"Do you want me to get Bucky?" Sam asked, trying to understand you.

The idea of Bucky coming back caused your panic to increase. You shook your head rapidly, "No! No no no no no." You kept repeating the word, shaking in Steve's arms.

"Okay! Okay, no Bucky." Sam reassured you, voice calm and soothing.

You’re not sure how long you stood like that. Sam moved around the kitchen, cleaning up the pots and pans you had knocked over.

When your breathing steadied, Steve asked, "Do you want to talk about what happened?"

You nodded, leading the two men to the couch in the adjacent common area. You sat for a minute, unsure of where to start.

"Why don't you just lead us through it all?" Steve suggested, still rubbing your back.

You nodded, grateful for the starting point. "I went to the kitchen to apologize to Bucky."

"What for?" Sam interrupted, already confused.

"Sam! Just let her talk." Steve muttered, slightly annoyed.

"Sorry!" He glared back at Steve before turning to you, "Sorry, please continue."

You couldn't help but laugh at their banter.

"Right, I wanted to apologize for what I said the first day I met you all. I realized how it sounded, so I wanted to try and fix it." You paused, waiting for the recognition to hit them.

It didn't take long. The two men nodded, silently urging you to continue.

"Honestly, Wanda told me that was why he always seems mad at me. You have to know, I never meant for it to come across that way! It's more of a personal, 'I don't want to be violent' than shunning others for doing what's necessary." You took a deep breath, not eager to relive the conversation.

"Anyway, I told him I didn't mean it. I just couldn't explain it right, and he got upset, which makes sense!" You turned to look between them, not wanting them to think you were insulting Bucky in any way. "I don't hold what he did against him. It wasn't his choice, and I completely understand that. I just couldn't put that into words when I was talking to him, and I made everything worse."

Tears popped into your eyes again, upset at what he must be going through. You weren't with Hydra for but a tenth of the time he was, and you didn't endure the same level of brainwashing.

"He said something about some people not being able to choose not to be violent, and then he left. I don't know how long I was standing in the kitchen replaying the conversation, but it brought up bad memories for me." You sighed again, working up the nerve to tell them everything.

"Wanda and Nat already know, but I guess it's your guys's turn. This was so much easier to just have Wanda read my mind." You laughed at your own joke, the two men sharing a concerned look.

"I was taken... by Hydra. They experimented on me, gave me enhanced senses, trained me to fight, and punished me when I did something wrong." Again, tears sprung into your eyes, occasionally falling down your cheeks.

"Why wasn't this in your file?" Steve questioned, more to himself than you.

"I haven't got a clue. I guess nobody knew about me? But, I escaped. They didn't brainwash me like they did Bucky, because I don't have the serum. Or, at least, I think that's why." You shook your head, refocusing on the important parts.

"When every available Hydra agent was tasked with searching for the Winter Soldier, I took it as on opportunity. Their resources were spread thin. I was able to getaway."

You went onto explain your reasoning for joining the Avengers as a tech specialist, trying to convey the same earnestness you did with Nat.

"You can ask Nat or Wanda too. Nat found out day one, Wanda a few days ago." You wiped your tears, hoping they believed you. "Actually, Peter knows too."

"I was stuck in all those memories when you came into the kitchen. I didn't even register that you were in the room, so when you touched me I freaked out. I never meant to hurt you!"

You looked at Steve fearful that he would be upset.

"Y/N, I believe you." You cried tears of relief at his statement, genuinely exhausted from the day. "It's not your fault, and you didn't hurt me. Just caught me off guard. You're surprisingly agile when you want to be." He tried to lighten the mood, glad to hear you laugh.

"Well, I train in the middle of the night sometimes. I- I want to be able to get out if I'm ever forced back there." Your voice was quiet, admitting a secret you hadn't even told Nat.

"We won't let that happen." The sternness of Sam's voice surprised you.

"Thank you." You wiped your tears a final time, looking between the two men. "Now, what do I do about Bucky?" You refocused your energy on fixing your relationship with the super soldier.

"He never would have said what he said if he had known." Steve started the conversation, defending his friend.

"I know. I don't hold it against him, I just wish I could explain. I get so nervous when he looks at me like that." You rambled, too tired to filter your thoughts.

"Like what?" Sam asked, eager for more information to tease Bucky with.

"Huh? Oh, I don't know. Like he can see into my soul." You deadpanned, earning a laugh from both men. "I just want him to like me." You nearly whined, upset by your poor relationship.

"Like you, huh?" Steve grinned. Nat and Wanda chose that exact moment to walk into the room, eagerly joining the conversation.

"Barnes? Did you tell him how you feel?" Wanda squealed with excitement.

You buried your head in your hands, avoiding the knowing looks the four of them were surely sharing. "Not exactly." You gestured to your head, hoping Wanda would figure it out and share with Nat.

"Ooh... It didn't go well, basically Barnes got upset, Y/N flipped Steve and had a panic attack, then told these two everything." Wanda explained to Nat quickly, trying not to make you relive it.

"We need a plan." Nat declared.

"No, I just need to learn how to have a conversation with the man." You rolled your eyes at yourself. "I'll try talking to him again." You went to leave the room, turning around to glare at them. "And none of you can say a word of this to Bucky."

-

Despite you request, Steve still tried to talk to Bucky.

"What's up with you?" Steve questioned, trying to subtly pry into Bucky's thoughts.

"Nothing. Why?" Bucky answered in a questioning tone, trying to figure out Steve's motives.

"I heard you talked to Y/N is all. How'd it go?" He gave up on the subtle approach pretty quickly, knowing Bucky wouldn't answer a question that wasn't asked.

"How did you even hear that, punk?" Bucky deflected.

"Not the point. Answer the question."

"Not great. I messed it up." Bucky sighed, annoyed at himself for barging out of the room. "She said wanted to apologize, that she didn't mean what she said." He ran his hands through his hair, struggling to explain where it all went wrong.

"Would've been fine if I could follow what she was saying. She was rambling about me not liking her, which you and I both know isn't true. Ugh, i've never been mad at her. I'm mad at myself! At Hydra for making me a monster! How could she ever like me if she doesn't like violence? My entire past is violent." He huffed, having worked himself up again.

"You're not a monster, Buck." Steve started gently.

"I know you think that." Steve gave him a pointed glare. "I know, okay? But what does she think?"

"Maybe you should try talking to her. You might be surprised by what you learn." Steve clapped him on the shoulder, trying to reassure him, before leaving the room.

-

Everytime you tried to talk to Bucky, something got in the way. The first time, he was called in for an emergency mission before you even got the word hello out.

The second time, Tony walked into the common area, completely oblivious to the tension, and put on a movie.

The third time, Steve and Nat interrupted you. You were just about to apologize again after an awkward greeting when the elevator doors opened. The sounds of the cheerful laughter and stolen kisses didn't really set the mood for confessing your past with Hydra.

The fourth, and final time, was the most embarrassing.

You walked into the room on a mission. You were going to talk to him, no matter who decided to walk in.

"Bucky, I really need to-" and you tripped on a toy Morgan left out, causing you to tumble to the ground. That would have been embarrassing enough, but there's more.

In your effort to get up, you tripped again, hitting your head on the coffee table, causing you to bleed profusely.

"Shit." You cursed yourself, holding your hand up to your bleeding forehead.

"Are you okay?" Bucky rushed to you from the other side of the table, concerned with the amount of blood spewing from your head.

"Yeah, I'll be fine." Unfortunately, you chose that moment to jokingly reference your past.

Some of the people who tortured you had a sick sense of humor. Whenever they would hit you hard enough to make you bleed, they said something about only having one head. A play on words because of the greek serpent with multiple heads.

"Head wounds bleed a lot, I'm lucky I only have one." You froze instantly, unsure if he would have had a similar experience. Slowly, you looked up in an effort to make eye contact.

Bucky was also frozen in place. Clearly he understood the reference.

"Wh- where did you hear that?" Bucky struggled with his sentence, trying not to flashback to his time at Hydra.

"Oh my god. I'm so so sorry." You instantly started apologizing, trying to backtrack. "I really need to learn when to stop fucking talking." You said more to yourself than him.

"Where did you hear it?" He asked again, putting more power behind his words.

"Um, well, i've been trying to tell you for weeks now, but um, I also kind of, have, um, well, you see-"

"Just spit it out." There was the slightly miffed Bucky you were used to.

"I was taken. By Hydra. 9 years ago. Um, they forced me to learn how to fight. Tortured me if I did anything wrong. Forced me to do things..." You trailed off, realizing you didn't need to give him many details. He has first hand experience.

"Y/N, I-" You cut him off before he could say anything else.

"That's why I don't like using violence. I only know how to do that stuff because they made me learn it. I didn't want to use the skills they gave me." You took a deep, grounding breath.

"I don't blame you for anything you were forced to do. It wasn't your choice. You're not a violent person, and your past actions don't define who you are. You're here to help people. That's what you chose. That's who you are."

You made eye contact before you continued. "I've actually wanted to thank you for the longest time."

"For what?" He was incredulous, wildly caught off guard by everything you've said.

"The only reason I had an opportunity to escape was because 2 years ago, you escaped. If Hydra's resources hadn't been spread so thin trying to find you, I probably would've never got out. So thank you. For being strong enough to fight back."

You smiled at him, still unsure of how he was feeling.

"I... I'm so sorry." To say you were stunned was an understatement. What the hell could he have to be sorry about? Sure he was a little rude, but from your point of view he was completely justified in hating you.

"Bucky, you have no reason to be sorry. You didn't know, and I couldn't get out of my head enough to tell you. You just make me nervous." You clapped a hand over your mouth, shocked at having said what you just said.

You could see his face fall ever so slightly, causing you to jump back into your explanation.

"Not because I'm scared of you or anything! Hell, I could probably take you in a fight." You winked, trying to lighten the mood. It seemed to work, judging by the slight smirk on his face.

"I just, I've looked up to you for so long. Your determination to do good after everything you've been through is really inspiring. It's actually why I wanted to join the Avengers in the first place. I never would have-" You would have kept rambling if he hadn't stopped you.

"Y/N, I am sorry, and I do have reason to be. There's no excuse for what I said to you in the kitchen that day. Even if I didn't know, I threw everything you've been through back in your face. If someone had done that to me, I probably would have had a panic attack." He tried joking, but by the way you froze he could tell he struck a nerve.

"You had a panic attack? I'm so sorry! God, I just left you all alone and-"

It was your turn to cut him off. "Actually, I was kind of frozen in place until Steve touched me and I maybe threw him to the ground... Then I had a panic attack..." You smiled, trying to convey the joke. "So, I wasn't alone. Sam was actually also there. If anything, it made me better friends with both of them because I told them everything. So I have you to thank for that to." You playfully nudged his side.

He ran his hands through his hair, then down his face, clearly trying to deal with his own guilt.

"Hey, don't beat yourself up about it. You didn't know. It happened. We're good now, so we can move on." You smiled, trying to cheer him up.

"How are you so relaxed about all of this? You were tortured for years... I..." He was genuinely curious, trying to find a way to cope with his own pain.

"Well, even before that I always thought therapy could be helpful for me, so I really jumped in full force when I was free. Plus, if you can't joke about something, you haven't really moved on. Some days are harder than others, but I just try to appreciate the people I have now and the good experiences I've been lead to." You kept the tone light, trying not to get too emotional.

He just stared at you for a few minutes, making you questions everything.

"I mean, it's totally different for you though! I was only there for 7 years, you were forced into all that for like 10 times as long. I didn't mean to belittle-"

"I think you inspire me just as much as you say I've inspired you." He cut you off again, a small smile growing on your lips.

"Well, in the spirit of our newfound friendship, can I be totally honest?" You bit your lip, nervous about telling him the truth.

He looked nervous as well, but nodded anyway.

"I kind of, maybe, sort of have a crush on you." You watched his expression carefully, although there was really no need. His face easily gave away his surprise.

"You..." He stuttered, moving his fingers between the two of you. "Me? But, I was so mean!"

"What can I say, I saw through the facade... Well, really Wanda accidentally read your mind and told me why you were so upset around me when her and Nat teamed up to get me to tell you how I feel." You rambled again, realization dawning that you accidentally outed Wanda.

"But you can't tell her I told you that! She didn't mean to! She just said you think really loud sometimes and it's hard not to hear it! She did it to me too actually, I mean I told her she could look in my head so I wouldn't have to explain everything again, I know so lazy, and that's how she confirmed my crush on you." You said it all with wide eyes at a rapid speed, unable to control yourself around Bucky.

You slapped your hands over your mouth, forcing yourself to stop talking. Bucky looked on in amusement, slowly reaching to pull your hands away from your face.

"I won't tell her, if you get dinner with me tonight." He smiled cheekily, relishing in your blush.

"That's a deal I'm willing to make." You reached your arms around his neck, kissing his cheek before running to get ready.

***

Bonus:

Sam whined playfully as he looked at the high scores. "Whose username is 'God is a spoon' and how did they get so good at this game?"

He looked around the room, eying any suspicious candidates. Everyone denied it, throwing out accusations left and right.

It was another of Tony's team bonding nights and he chose VR games on the oculus. Obviously, Beat Saber was a top contender amongst the group.

You walked in with Bucky, unaware of the conversation going on, but immediately joining it.

"Peter! I bet it was him!" You playfully nudged the younger Avenger, having formed a close friendship in the early days. "What am I betting on?" Everyone laughed, happy to see you in a good mood after being so stressed for so long.

"Whose username is 'God is a spoon'." Sam chuckled after filling you in. You and Bucky settled on the couch, cuddling next to each other.

"Oh, that's me. Why?" You looked around curiously, trying to figure out what they wanted. "Is it a weird username? It was actually one of the catchphrase things in Just Dance on the switch, I didn't just think of it." You tried to justify yourself, causing more laughter.

"You?! How did you get all the highscores on this game? I thought you were the clumsy one."

You made an exaggerated face to show how offended you were, playfully swatting at Sam.

"I'll have you know, 7 years of Hydra 'training' and experimentation has its perks." You joked with the room. "One of them being I can beat your ass at pretty much any video game."

"Oh, you're so on." Sam smiled, glad he could joke around with you about it.

Meanwhile, Tony looked incredulously around the room, being the only one in the room who hadn't heard about your history, he was rightfully confused.

"I'm sorry, 7 years of WHAT?"

[ladyanput]

Ok so this is the third time that I'm sending you an ask tonight. (or is it night time in your country?) I'm being annoying right now but whatever. So I've been cackling about those salt fics you wrote because they are just amazing. I have a request, though it is up to you to write it or not. So, can you write a salt fic where someone got an interview with Ladybug (probably Aurore) and then they ask her why they replaced the old heroes like Rena Rouge, Carapace and etc. and LB is just like I don't work with dumb shits or somethin'. Then there is also a new Black Cat (Probably Luka, Felix, or Damian) because Adrien here is an asshole and this fic is saltier than salt water. Then LB also insults Alya's blog and their school. Those foolish mortals get some lawsuits and the rest is up to you. (This request is probably messed up since it's already midnight here and I can't sleep.)

You're never annoying, I just apologize that it took me so long to get to you. I do hope you don't hold it against me, darling.

A one on one interview with Ladybug was basically unheard of if you weren't the Ladyblog or Nadja Chadwick. Ladybug had made it firm that she wasn't a celebrity, she was a hero. She wasn't there for clout, for attention, for fame or fortune. She just wanted to keep Paris safe.

That's was Aurore admired about her. And why she felt queasy as she sat across from the heroine, who had given her of all people an interview. But she got ahold of herself, taking deep breaths as the cameraman began counting down. And when he hit 'one', she put on her best smile and straightened in her seat.

"Hello Paris! Welcome back to 'Latest Buzz'! I am your lovable host, Aurore Beauréal. Today I am here with a very, very special guest, our very own heroine of Paris; Ladybug!"

Ladybug beamed right at the camera, but gave a shy little wave, giving away the nerves she obviously had.

"Now, Ladybug, I'm so glad you requested to be on the show. You know, I initially thought I had misheard when Estelle told me. Usually you're not big on personal interviews." Aurore gave her full attention to Ladybug, but keeping the bright, friendly smile and perfect posture.

"Well, I tried a few times actually. But when I did, none of them were really great experiences." Ladybug admitted and both girls immediately thought of that disastrous Face-to-Face interview. It left a bitter taste in their mouths. "My issue is that misinformation has been spread around a lot recently. It's made me realize that I need to find more trustworthy sources."

"Ladybug. I vow on my integrity as a host and Estelle's reputation as a journalist that we are people who research facts. We don't ambush our guests, we respect them." She said, placing a hand on her heart. Ladybug saw an honesty in her eyes that she hadn't seen in such a long time. It honestly made her feel.. Respected. "Now, Ladybug.. We both know you have a lot of fans. A lot of admirers. False information can be spread so easily these days, which sources specifically are you telling people to avoid?"

"Well.. With Face-to-Face, I found that I was entirely ambushed in that interview. I wanted to speak about my hero work, but instead Nadja kept trying to needle her way into my personal life. That picture she had shown in largely out of context; when Dark Cupid attacked and Chat Noir was under his spell, it was the only way to get him free."

"Yes, I remember watching that. I'll be honest Ladybug, I felt bad for you." Aurore bit her lip, but smiled a bit when Ladybug nodded. "I mean, Chat Noir wasn't helping either. He seemed to be trying to push this narrative forward that you two are a couple."

"And we're not!" Ladybug burst out before she could stop herself. Everyone in that studio could hear the utter stress and frustration in her voice. "I've begged and begged Chat Noir to stop with the flirting, the 'telling people we're dating', everything! I just wanted him to focus and he couldn't seem to do that!"

"Is that why you replaced him? Because of his slacking off and refusing to take anything seriously?" Aurora sat up an bit straighter, her eyes going wide.

".. Not exactly, no. It was a bunch of issues that eventually piled up and boiled over." Ladybug made some gestures with her hands, trying her hardest to find the words but just letting out a long and pained sigh in the end. "I do enjoy my new partner now. He is more serious, more stable. I know he won't go off and pout if I deny something he wanted. I needed an entirely new team, as a matter of fact."

"Well I am going to say, on behalf of everyone here, that we're glad. We swear on our integrity as journalists that if such rumours were to ever surface again, we will do our proper research." Aurore beamed and many of the staff and crew behind the cameras nodded and gave Ladybug their thumbs up. Honestly, it warmed Ladybug's heart to see such support.

When had been the last time someone had supported her like this? Sure, her parents supported her, but her friends..? Her peers? No, none of them had supported her in a long time.

"Speaking of research, I'd say to stay away from the Ladyblog." It burned to say it but it had to be said. Alya had crossed so many lines it wasn't even forgivable at this point. She had gone too far, had betrayed too many.

"Wait, what?" Aurore nearly jumped out of her seat but quickly composed herself, taking a deep breath. "Pardon me Ladybug, but the Ladyblog has been a vital source of information since the very beginning."

"And I'm not denying that!" Ladybug quickly held up her hands, her eyes desperate now. "But please let me explain. The Ladyblog was amazing in the beginning, but like all things, it started to go astray. It was things like trying so hard to find out my identity. Trying to push that narrative of that whole superhero couple thing.. Ladyblogger Alya Césaire has proven time and time again that she is not trustworthy. I mean, I thought she was my biggest fan. Why does she keep pushing my words aside?"

Many people who watched the interview would agree. If you idolized someone, respected someone, truly looked up to them.. Why would you push aside their words, their wishes to try and push the narrative you're so convinced is true, but isn't there?

"And don't get me started on the whole Lila Rossi craze she seemed to be on now." At Ladybug's mention of Lila Rossi, both Estelle and Aurore had to keep from rolling their eyes. They knew all about the girl.

"You speak as if you are quite frustrated, Ladybug. What an odd reaction to your best friend." Aurore leaned forward a bit in her seat. Everyone else got to the edge of theirs. Ladybug only shook her head, looking utterly defeated.

"That's the thing, she isn't my best friend." It took everything to keep from satin that she hated her, that she had taken away her friends and her life. "The only times she's met Ladybug is when she's been akumatized, which has been around six or seven times at this point. And the other things she's claiming are so outlandish! Saving Jagged Stone's kitten from a airport runway? Clara Nightengale stealing her dance moves? And the Ladyblog just posts it out there, claiming every single story is true. I'm just scared that people are taking this one hundred percent seriously. That's why I had to drop Rena Rouge and Carapace from the team as they believed Lila Rossi over me. They didn't even try to confirm these rumours! And it hurts to think that one day, someone will take Lila's words seriously and get hurt. What if she says it's safe to dip strawberries in bleach? Or tells someone that she found a way to tame some kind of wild animal? Someone would get hurt because they believe her story and try it out for themselves!"

"My goodness, I can definitely see how that is a problem. Misinformation is very easy to spread thanks to the internet, so you being worried is a very relatable thing." Aurore nodded, then tilted her head ever so slightly. "Ladybug, do you know anyone who has taken her word seriously? This is besides the Ladyblog of course."

Ladybug closed her eyes briefly, mentally debating with herself before finally giving in. These things needed to be said.

"Collège François DuPont. Now I wasn't there personally, but I heard about this situation and looked into it. The entire situation was appalling. Apparently a student was found to have cheated, assaulted another student, and commited thievery. But the thing that stuck out is only one person saw her do all of these things; Lila Rossi. No investigation was done, no questioning other students. This student was then expelled immediately. Her teacher and her principal didn't even give her a chance. And from what people have been saying, Miss Rossi's behaviour is actively encouraged in that school. She misses countless days, no, months of school, claiming she's traveling. But when she was supposedly in Achu, doing whatever it was she was claiming with Prince Ali, I was fighting her akuma here in Paris on Heroes Day!"

"I was at school the day that happened. I knew the student that happened to. They're the nicest person in that school! Never a bad thing to say about anyone, always willing to help! I agree with you on how things were handled, it's a level of incompetence that is baffling." Aurore's hands slowly curled into fists as she remembered it all. She slowly shook her head. "The principal, their teacher, their class who backed up Rossi. It must have hurt them so much, made them feel so alone."

"That's why I want people to be more careful with what information they take as fact. It's so important, because stuff like that can lead people to a desperate place. They feel alone, like the entire world is against them. I wouldn't have let the principal and the teacher get away with that gross negligence in their jobs." Ladybug leveled her gaze directly to the camera. "People of Paris, please listen to what I am saying. I am here to be a hero, to protect you from the terror of Hawkmoth and to defeat him. But please, do not be like Principal Damocles, do not be like that teacher and her class at DuPont. Do your research, look up your facts. Do not let a liar lead you to do something dangerous and hurt yourself as well as others. Respect each other, talk and be honest. I swear on my life that I shall do the same. You are the people I swore to protect and I love. I am saying this all to protect you. And I'll hope you'll all forgive me for not protecting you sooner."

...

The interview rocked Paris. Ladybug speaking so openly about her frustrations, about the discrepancies in the Ladyblog and Lila Rossi had many people double checking the sources of everything they learned from that blog.

Alya could barely show her face as she made her way though the school hallways. Her reputation as a journalist had gone down the drain. People had basically started boycotting her blog, harrassing her, or trash talking her on other forums and sites. Even a lot of news outlets picked this up.

What hurt the most from that interview last night was Ladybug's words towards her, both as Rena Rouge and as Alya. Surely the heroine had to be mistaken, she had never beytrayed Ladybug! And that Oblivio incident, it was just to show Chat Noir and Ladybug that they were meant to be together!

Her family was upset with her. No, upset was too tame of a word. They were pissed.

"I can't believe she lied to us.."

"Well what do you expect from someone who keeps harrassing Ladybug?"

Alya flinched when she heard the whispers and rushed into Miss Buster's class. The entire class was there, all seated, all looking utterly miserable. Many of them looked as if they had been crying all night. A lot like she had.

"W-where's Miss Bustier?" Alya asked when she eyed the empty desk. Many of her classmates shot her glares, but didn't say anything about the interview last night. After all, they had no room to talk.

"She and Principal Damocles are with the school board now. We're getting a new teacher." Adrien was the one that spoke up. He looked utterly miserable. So unlike his usual self.

"Lila isn't coming back. She was pulled from school when her mother found out what happened." Alix muttered from her seat, arms crossed and shoulders hunched.

The class went quiet as they all internally contemplated how things had gotten like this. Their eyes focused on the door when it abruptly opened and Marinette came strolling in, carrying a box.

"Good morning everyone!" She said brightly, pretending not to notice the downcast expressions on their faces. She set the box on the teacher's desk before she turned towards them. "Oh? What's wrong everyone?"

".. Did you not watch the interview with Ladybug on 'Latest Buzz'?" Alya stared at Marinette, a bit dumbfounded by her friend's lack of awareness of the situation. She had been expecting Marinette to rush in with support and a fiery vengeance against those who had humiliated her best friend, maybe even a fresh pastry. But instead she was greeted with empty hands and a cheerful hello?

"Oh, well I haven't really had the time to watch much television. I mean, with my transfer papers, needing to plan out my new schedule with all of those new classes. Busy as a bee, that's me!" Marinette just beamed, giving Adrien a playful wink that had his stomach churning.

"Wait, transfering?" It was Rose that spoke up, her large eyes seeming impossibly large now. "Transfer what?"

"To my new school, of course." Marinette giggled and clasped her hands together. "I start on Monday."

"New school?!" Alya was on her feet and rushing towards Marinette. The others quickly followed, crowding around her. "What do you mean new school?! When did you ever say you were going to a new school?"

Marinette blinked, as if stunned, then tilted her head ever so slightly.

"I told you all last week, don't you remember?" Marinette tapped her lower lip, seeming to be wracking her brain before she abruptly snapped her fingers. "Oh! I forgot, you all were deep in conversation with Lila about her upcoming event with Jagged Stone and Clara Nightengale. You know, the one she said she'd be attending with Ladybug, since they're such good friends. Did she ever say how it went?"

All of the students shifted uneasily, suddenly seeming to refuse to meet her face.

Alix murmured something so barely audible, Marinette held a hand to her ear and leaned closer.

"I'm sorry, what was that?"

"Lila was lying to us!" Alix snapped as her cheeks went a flaming red.

"About everything! She never knew Jagged Stone!" Juleka spat out in fury.

"Or Prince Ali!" Rose sniffled.

"And she wasn't friends with Ladybug? They were barely acquaintances!" Alya wailed out as tears welled up in her eyes.

But Marinette hardly reacted the way they were expecting. She just gave them a small smile and nodded.

"Oh, yeah. I know."

Alya sucked in a breath sharply.

"You knew..? But why did you never..?"

"Oh Alya, you silly forgetful thing. I told you the day she returned from her long 'trip', remember? I told you she was lying." Marinette gave Alya a smile that said 'oh you silly thing'. "But you told me that I should really check my sources. And I got tired of trying to bring up any lies, since that was always your response. So I decided to just stop. I mean, since you're such an inspiring, honest journalist you must double and triple check every source you come across and found every story to be true!"

Alya flinched and looked away, feeling the churning feeling in her gut again. No, the Ladyblog had been the only source for the stories. The. Only. One.

"And I'm sure all of you knew what you were doing! I mean, it makes sense; trusting the words of a complete stranger over someone you've known for a while now. Some of you since we were in diapers!" She focused her gaze on Nino and Kim, who had the grace to at least look ashamed.

"Marinette, you really should-" Adrien began, reaching out for the girl, but was cut off by her clapping her hands together.

"But it's alright! I decided that fighting with you all wasn't worth it, so I took Adrien's advice and took the high road! Don't bother exposing Lila, she isn't hurting anyone!" Marinette announced brightly, giving her hands a little wave.

The temperature in the classroom dropped by several degrees.

".. Adrien, she's kidding, right?" Nino glanced over at his friend, his eyes pleading for him to deny it all. But the sight of the blood draining from the model's face and the sweat starting to bead at his forehead told him everything he needed to know. "Dude.."

"How could you?! You knew this entire time and didn't even try to tell me?!" Alya rounded on Adrien, fury in her eyes.

"Now, now, don't get mad at Adrien. I'm sure he knew you all were going to do you research. Besides, it's not like this did anything bad for anyone." Marinette pressed a hand to her cheek, still grinning. "I mean, it's not like you all took her advice without doing any research. You didn't try the things she suggested without actually checking them out to be true, right? No one lost any scholarships or job opportunities. No one's relationships were ruined. No one was hurt."

The nauseous feeling spread to all of the class as the reality of everything caught up with them.

"I'm sure everything will go back to normal, right? I mean, I'm sure that that woman from the education bureau isn't here to fire Damocles and Bustier for their severe neglect in their duties. Expelling me with the most mediocre and shaky proof. Surely that's a school I should feel safe in! That I should be proud to be a part of. But alas, my preparations for my new school are already done, so oh well."

Marinette shrugged and adjusted her purse strap.

"Anyhow, I wish you all luck with the amazing things Lila has helped you to do! I know it must have been worth ignoring me and convincing me I was crazy. With all of the free time I've had, with you guys practically replacing me with Lila in the group, I've had tons of time to spend with my boyfriend."

"Boyfriend?!" Alya's eyes went owlishly wide as she gaped at Marinette. "But what about Adrien?!"

"Oh Alya, I fell out of love with Adrien forever ago." Marinette shook her head in an almost patronizing way that had Alya's cheeks burning with embarrassment. They didn't even pay attention to Adrien's noises of surprise. "I mean, you claimed I was jealous of Lila getting close to Adrien, that I should let the jealousy go. And you know what? You were right! So I decided Adrien wasn't worth the stress, the embarrassment.. I mean, I couldn't even talk to him straight. I thought he was the most perfect guy in the world! Goodness, did I learn my lesson!"

She giggled as if she found the entire thing amusing. She then beamed at the class.

"Well, ta-ta! I need to get back home and make sure everything is ready to go. I wish you all the best, I really do!"

They all watched, shellshocked as Marinette breezed out of the classroom like it was nothing. Like she wasn't leaving her friends, her school, her life behind. And they all would wonder exactly how badly they screwed up, if she could walk away do easily, without a care.

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[meetmymouth]

ooh I think #7 and #17 from the blurb list would fit very well together! if you want!

THANK YOU LINDS <3<3

prompt list here, send a number!!

#7 If we both want to fit, we’ll have to cuddle

#17 Sleeping in the same bed for the first time

THIS IS 3K IM SORRY I COULDN'T HELP MYSELF SO PLEASE REBLOG LMAOOOOOO!!!!!

"This is my room," comes a gruff voice behind you as you keep looking out the window, taking in the greenery and the beautiful ocean.

See, you knew he would be here.

You knew, because Harry and Mitch were attached at the hip, and you didn't mind. You didn't mind seeing your ex every time you were invited to hang out with MitchandSarah & co, except when said ex decided to be an evil arsehole.

Perhaps, calling him an "ex" was weird, seeing how your time alone only consisted of you both getting high, mostly naked as he whispered the filthiest things in your ear and promised to make you feel good, be the best you've ever had. Other than that, though, he was an insufferable bastard. Since you never hung out with the man without your friends around–getting rat-arsed and high... and the activities that followed aside–, you didn't know if he was always this annoying.

He seemed to be getting along just fine with the others, especially Sarah and the other girls, so you had no problems scratching off the "women hater" off your list. And you can't ever recall him being this insufferable while you both were fucking which was, in his case, miserable. So, it was definitely annoying. You weren't that interested in him to think that he was being mean because he was secretly in love with you. That was a myth, a pathetic myth, wasn't it? No, you wouldn't steep that low. He was just an arse, full stop.

You turn around with an eye-roll, and within seeing his face, you nearly clench your fists like a ten-year-old. "Do you live here?" You ask, hoping the boring expression on your face is also detectable in your tone.

It's certainly not a surprise when Harry scoffs.

"I don't, but I picked this room first. Since, you know," he looks around, and walks further into the room, finally stopping at the feet of the bed. "You were late. As per."

"Oh fuck off. This isn't summer camp. Besides, I don't see any of your shit around. The room was empty when I arrived."

"If you bothered to look inside the wardrobe..."

Seriously, you find yourself thinking, how the fuck did you ever end up with this man. Naked.

There's a commotion downstairs, so you both turn to the door, but much to your dismay, there's no one coming to check up on you and hopefully, save you from Harry Styles' pathetic gob.

You turn towards the window again, eyes squinting briefly at the last bits of sunshine that's glinting from between the branches.

"Well. You shouldn't have left then. You weren't here when I arrived."

Harry shakes his head, and you swear you can see his nostrils flaring if you look carefully. Though, you just watch him with a smug smile on your face as he walks to the wardrobe and pulls open the white doors. True to his word, his clothes are there, perfectly folded, and for a moment you feel a pang of guilt before you look back up at his face and see the furrowed eyebrows.

"See. My clothes. I'm sure Sarah will sort it out for you, find you another room or summat."

"There's only three bedrooms. Can't sleep with a pregnant woman and her boyfriend, can I?"

"What about Rachel and David? Aren't you best friend's with her?"

"Harry, you're ridiculous. Just–" you wipe the sweat off of your forehead, feeling yourself grow hotter and hotter each passing minute. "–just sleep on the sofa. This is my first vacation this year. You go on holidays every week or so. Let us commoners have this."

"Oh, please. Didn't you have a girls weekend getaway or whatever the fuck in Soho Farmhouse two weeks ago?"

You can't help the scoff that leaves your mouth, and a raised eyebrow follows. "How do you know about that?"

"Because," he rolls his eyes, and slams the wardrobe shut. "You post seven hundred stories every day."

"You're a stalker."

"You sleep on the sofa."

You smirk, noticing how he avoided your previous statement.

To be fair, you hated posting on your story. Though, knowing Harry followed you on Instagram made posting on there fun, and seeing his username on the list of who watched your stories pop up at the very top every single time whenever you posted a story almost made you let out a mingy little laugh and rub your hands together, and scream "gotcha!".

"I won't."

"You're getting on my nerves."

"What a coincidence," you ignore the stare he's sending your way and walk towards your carry on, and start taking the contents out one by one, laying everything on the bed.

He watches with a scowl on his face, arms crossed across his chest, and a satisfied smile paints your features as you take out the toiletries bag next.

"Are you seriously unpacking right now?" Harry cranes his neck so he can see better. He looks ridiculous, standing in the middle of the room with arms crossed, but you refrain from saying anything.

In fact, you don't even answer him. Perhaps, you find yourself thinking, it was silly to unpack your underwear first. It wasn't as if you brought super "sexy" shit or lace everything. You can definitely feel his gaze watching your every movement as you take everything out carefully and place them on top of each other. With most of your underwear in hand, you get on one knee in front of the bedside table and open the drawer, placing everything inside and it's surprising how he hasn't claimed the bedside table yet.

"Look," he sighs. "I'll talk to Sarah, maybe you can sleep with her and Mitch–"

"–don't be stupid we're not making them sleep with other people because you can't be a gentleman and sleep on the sofa."

"Oh for fuck's sake," he growls, and you finally look at him, eyebrows raised in hopes of making him feel as stupid as he sounds right now. Unfortunately, though, he continues, "Okay, damn it, I'll sleep on the floor."

Fool.

"Common sense, Harry. Always pick sofa. No matter what."

"Were you born to make my life a living hell?"

"Look," you sit on the bed, and look around. "This is boring me to death. I'm sleeping on the bed. If you shut your gob, you can sleep with me on the bed."

Harry lets out an obnoxious laugh. "Just admit I was here first and you didn't bother checking the–"

"Yes, I didn't and what about it? I'm here now, aren't I? I'm on the bed, babes. Anyway," you get on your feet, and with one last look at him, you start walking towards the door. "I'll see you in a bit. I guess."

You both manage to avoid each other as much as you can throughout the day, and really, it wasn't that hard considering the good company of your friends, good food and good alcohol. You mainly helped Sarah and Rachel in the kitchen as the men lounged on the sun loungers, Mitch handling the grill and David helping you guys with the drinks that came in and out of the house pretty quickly with the way you lot consumed them like water.

You spend the night eating, laughing and drinking, sometimes singing along to whatever song played on David's fancy Bluetooth speaker, and everyone begins ushering inside with full bellies and most of them–except the very pregnant Sarah–with a tipsy smile on their faces.

You leave before Harry though, leaving him smoking his last cigarette by the pool while you run up the stairs and into the room, closing the door behind you. You quickly get rid of the romper and get your favourite pyjamas on, eyes searching for the orange makeup bag so you can take off the remaining makeup before bed. You knew it was silly not to do your night routine, but you still zip the bag closed with a sad expression on your face, not wanting to see your toner and night cream any more than you needed to as you throw it on the floor next to your bags. It's pathetic really, how determined you are to get in the bed before Harry can that you forego your whole routine and stick to some cotton pads. Though, plugging your charger and getting between the cool sheets make you forget all about it as you let out a sigh, and unlock your phone to do your nightly scroll before falling asleep.

As you double tap on a selfie, the door opens, and you hear him scoff, again. You keep scrolling though, and try to sneak a few glances at him as he makes a beeline for the wardrobe, and to your surprise, begins to undress. You try to stay calm, and not to think about how domestic this whole thing seems; being in the same room as him as he gets ready for bed.

Right, getting ready for bed.

You keep your eyes on your phone as his clothes hit the floor one by one, and when you look up briefly, he's got a pair of joggers on, and he's throwing the clothes he had on in the wardrobe.

He turns around, and find your gaze, and he rolls his eyes.

"I knew you'd be in bed, here, as soon as I heard someone running. Forgot you were a literal five-year-old," he mutters under his breath, loud enough so you can still hear him. "I'm not sleeping on the sofa."

"I love how you're basically arguing with yourself."

"Like I said, I'm not sleeping on the sofa. I didn't come all the way to sleep on a bloody sofa."

"Suit yourself. I guess we're sharing. Unless," you lock your phone, and place it on the bedside table. "You want to share," you shrug, adjusting your pillow and sigh at the cool fabric against your hot cheeks.

You can feel him thinking, the wheels turning in his head, and you finally hear the floorboards creek underneath his feet as he walks closer to the bed, and pushes the sheets off of you. The whole thing.

You blink in surprise. "Stop it, dude! What the fuck."

"I'm getting in! Fuck's sake, be quiet."

"You did that just to annoy me."

You're both quiet for a minute, Harry taking his rings off and then comes his socks, and he finally copies you, laying on his back on the bed. He covers the both of you, though you know it's not intentional since he couldn't do it without covering his own body with the duvet, and then he lets out a strangled sigh.

"The bed's too small."

"Are you calling me fat?"

"What?" He turns his face to you, and perhaps it's the first time he's looking at you– really looking.

His brows are furrowed, and lips turned downwards in a pout.

"I'm taking the piss, Harry. I know you're not calling me fat."

"Good," he says, though his voice isn't exactly soft. "I wouldn't."

"Good."

Silence.

It's unbearable.

Despite the hot weather, you feel yourself shiver, and you wish you were the only one in bed so you could do the whole burrito technique with the duvet. Alas... you stay where you are. You both do.

A dog barks in the distance, the high-pitched bark coming through the open window, and you can feel Harry breathing too fast beside you. You want to shout at him, tell him to fuck off and... not breathe too fast, though it sounds a bit too rude even for you, so you stay silent and wait for the dog to pipe the fuck down.

You try to turn on your side, because you could never see yourself fall asleep laying on your back like a vampire, but you almost fall, not anticipating the tiny space you've got going on. It's bad, and you know you're not going to get a good sleep. So, you find yourself contemplating about getting up and sleeping on the sofa because honestly, fuck him.

Harry shuffles next to you, presumably trying to find a good position to sleep in himself, but he lets out a groan and it startles you.

"What's wrong with you!"

"The bed's too fucking small."

"We've established that."

He sniffs, hands clenching the sheets around his body. "I don't sleep on my back. My back hurts."

You don't say anything, hoping for him to just get up and leave, go sleep on the sofa. He doesn't, though. It's another fifteen minutes before you let out another sigh, trying to get comfortable on the bed, and Harry copies you. You both turn on your sides, facing each other and Harry groans when your knee makes contact with his thigh, making you cringe in embarrassment. A quiet sorry leaves your mouth and he shakes his head, then turns the other way, facing the door.

"Fuck," he spits after a minute. "If we both want to fit, we'll have to cuddle."

"Cuddle? Fuck no."

"Just," he turns to you again, but the bed is too small for you both so his knees touch yours. "Just come closer. Either that, or go sleep on the sofa."

"Why don't you–"

"You're so stubborn! Come closer, I won't eat you or fall in love with you. Fuck."

You groan, but oblige for some reason, feeling your heart beginning to beat faster for some ridiculous reason.

It's been a long time, you find yourself trying to convince your heart. It's been a long, long time since you've been this close to a human being. Too long since you've cuddled with someone, so obviously you were going to feel a little excited, and weird. Yes, definitely weird.

You get closer and he lifts up his arm, you both sharing a look before you roll your eyes and place your hand on his wrist, placing it on your hip. He's quiet, eyes searching yours, and the crease between his brows are gone, and you want to laugh, because who knew it only took your skin against his to wipe that stupid grimace off of his face.

"I still think you're annoying," Harry mumbles, clearly sleepy. His hold on your hip becomes tighter as his thumb strokes your skin over the fabric.

"I know. Just shut up and sleep."

[zachsreaderinserts]

sleepy boys inc x gn!teen! reader headcannons

trying something new! i like bbs and all, but i wanted to write for other youtubers! lemme know if yall wanna see more content like this lol.

this takes place in a minecraft au!!! also, mentions of bad parenting/abusive parents

wc: 2,319

okay the sleepy boys

chaos incarnated, all of them. you can’t deny it

so, when tommy invites a friend from a local village, at first, everyone else is skeptical. since when has tommy made a friend who didn’t hate him within 20 minutes from all the screaming and insults he spewed?

unlike his friends, phil is more excited than anything. though he isn’t tommy’s dad, he feels like it sometimes, so he really wants to meet this new person who has caught the youngest’s attention

techno is very much not on board. he has a hard time trusting people at first glance and having been friends with tommy for the longest, he knows that tommy readily jumps the gun and attempts to befriend literally anything just because he can

and wilbur? indifferent for the most part. yes, he feels the need to make sure tommy is protected and cared for, but he also recognizes that this situation is out of his hands. the best he can do is hope that their friend isn’t an absolute asshole

so, it’s saturday. all three men are sitting on the couch in phil’s cottage, talking amongst themselves as they wait for tommy to come back. techno makes a joke about murdering them, which leads to phil scolding him about his violent tendencies

“you haven’t even met them yet, techno, what the fuck.”

wilbur is simply adding fuel to the fire, making little remarks here and there and watching the whole thing escalate to phil lecturing the piglin hybrid.

because of this, not one of them had noticed that tommy returned, with his newest friend. they both stopped at the sight of phil in dad mode, tommy considering just turning around and taking his friend as far away as physically possible

too late, since techno’s sixth sense made him whip around and stare at the newcomer. this made phil stop lecturing and wilbur quit giggling long enough for tommy to introduce his friend

after saying their name, the friend lifted their hand shyly, face burning from slight embarrassment. their other hand was latched onto tommy’s, feeling intimidated.

can you blame them? the fucking blood god looks like they wanna skewer them and cook them over a campfire.

tommy took notice of their shyness and cleared his throat, “we were planning on going to the carnival in their village if you three assholes feel like tagging along.”

like there was any way they were gonna let tommy and his friend go out without chaperones.

tommy turned back to his friend, “give me a second, i’m gonna go grab my sword just in case.” and proceeded to run up the stairs and towards the guest bedroom in phil’s house that he claimed.

the millisecond he was out of earshot, techno grabbed his friend by the front of the shirt.

“what are your intentions with tommy?”

the friend blinked once, twice, then bit back a smile. “you’re asking that as if i’m about to date that motherfucker.”

this time, it was wilbur who bit back a grin of his own. who would’ve expected the originally shy kid to have replied like that????

techno’s brain short circuited and his grip on their shirt loosened slightly. did.... did this kid just brush off his question???

“can you put me down? you’re gonna stretch my shirt.”

techno’s brain blinked back into focus and he gripped the kid’s shirt harder, shoving them against the nearest wall. “i asked a question, kid.”

“you know, tommy told me something like this would happen. i’m glad i came prepared.” and then, tommy’s friend sucked in a deep breath. techno leaned back, expecting the worst...

“MWISTER TECHNWOBWADE, PWEASE PUT MWE DOWN BEFWORE I SCWEAM”

oh god, this was far worse than anything he thought of.

he dropped the teen out of disgust more than anything, reeling backwards. if there was one thing that haunted his dreams, it was uwu-speak.

phil started howling of laughter, clutching his stomach and hunching over. originally he was going to stop techno from threatening a literal child but this outcome was so much better than anything he was anticipating

wilbur was no better, already tearing up from how hard he was snickering. he started choking on his own spit at one point, smacking his arm against the couch.

tommy was so fucking confused when he came back down the stairs, seeing the mayhem that was, for once, not caused by him. he glanced at his friend, who had the world’s biggest shiteating grin.

yeah, they were gonna fit in just fine.

and they did! phil took them under his wing (both physically and metaphorically) and allowed them to come visit his home whenever they wished. and whenever they did, phil was the first to ask how they’ve been and what they were up to

to phil’s surprise, the kid was overall calm in their choice of activities. things like playing soccer or drawing or figuring out how to learn instruments in their free time. it seemed like they were desperate to get their hands on anything and everything just to learn

he found it funny, though, when their chaotic side shone through. they easily were on tommy’s level when they got into that headspace and it was so hilarious to him.

his favorite memory of the kid was when they walked into the house and marched right up to where techno was reading idly in the corner. planting their hands on their hips, they spoke.

“if you were to fuck a clone of yourself, would it be masturbation or would you be considered gay?”

phil, who was washing the dishes six feet away from them, just about crumbled into a ball on the floor from how hard he was laughing and sobbing.

of all questions, that was the one that came out.

but he had no idea that the chaos was a coping mechanism. he just thought they were naturally like that in their free time.

he soon found out the truth when they came home with tommy, who was cursing up a fit, visibly angry. his friend was slumped over, as if trying to hide themselves from the world

when phil asked what had happened, tommy exploded.

“their fucking dad took all their money from their savings! said he needed it more than them and when they asked for it back, he called them a fucking disappointment! that fucking bitch--”

phil can count very few times when he felt true anger and he can confirm that when tommy had told him what had gone down, he saw red.

but he knew better than to outwardly show it. judging by how hunched over and defeated the kid was, what they needed was a stable support system

so he walked over and shut tommy up with a hand on his shoulder, “why don’t we take the rest of the night to build up that game room you wanted in the basement. i’m sure if we knock it out before techno and wil are supposed to be back, we can all play something like monopoly.”

seeing where phil was headed, tommy nodded and brushed away his anger. he knew that what his friend needed was a serious cheering up. tommy ran towards his guest bedroom, claiming that he was going to find his blocks.

phil crouched in front of the teen, tilting their head up to look him in the eyes. “you’re not a disappointment. you’re an amazing person with a chaotic joke machine going 120 kilos over the speed limit in your head and you are talented. your dad doesn’t know shit about what you’re capable of doing.”

oh boy, the kid’s crying. those are tears, full on tears.

that night was one of the best nights of their life, however. they enjoyed the entire three hour long game of monopoly where they watched the light leave everyone’s eyes. it was funny when wilbur lunged across the table when he landed on a railroad, out for phil’s blood.

speaking of wilbur, he enjoyed every minute in the kid’s presence. they often asked creative and random questions and went along with the abstract jokes he made, the two of them laughing heartily the entire time.

when the kid first mentioned wanting to learn how to play the guitar, he practically burst through the wall of the room next door, breathing heavily and exaggeratedly.

“did someone say guitar”

yeah, he’s feral. that’s canon.

they proceeded to spend the entire day in phil’s garden, each of them equipped with a guitar. despite their outwardly smooth brain and stupid demeanor, the teen was a fast learner and could play the most basic chords by the time the sun was setting.

wilbur’s favorite moment was the first night they met, when they went to the carnival. there was the game where you shoot the water and fill up the balloons and the kid was going head to head against techno and tommy.

it was when techno won that the teen turned to techno with murder in their eyes and spoke in a deadpan tone of voice,

“you’re lucky you won this time, you gentrified mayo monkey.”

wilbur’s jaw dropped, as did techno and phil’s. tommy was already in hysterics, smacking his hand against the counter that held the guns.

needless to say, wilbur found his favorite, not-quite sibling in a heartbeat.

techno was the last to come around with the child. can you blame him? every time he tried to threaten them or had beaten them at something, they would respond in a cryptic threat--

“i’m going to pee your pants if you don’t let me win”

or just brushed him off. without a second thought.

“anyways, i was murdering a chicken the other day, and the fucker had the audacity to ribbit at me.”

to say he was confused was an understatement. he was terrified of the fact that a literal child held so much power and disinterest in things like their own life. so for the first few months, he avoided them.

but he had seen past that when it was around midnight on a weekday. tommy was hanging out with tubbo and ranboo in their village miles away from the area. wilbur was out drinking with schlatt, niki, and fundy, and phil was already asleep.

techno wasn’t too far behind, sitting in front of the fireplace and staring out of the window that showed the front yard. it was only then when he saw the flash of a familiar face and looked closer as the teen walked up to the house quietly. their head was down and they carried a small bag with them.

techno opened the front door with a long creak as they reached the porch steps. it was only when they jumped and looked up in surprise that techno had noticed a deep bruise on their left cheek in the moonlight.

despite the fact that he kept away from them, techno was very protective and territorial of tommy, phil, and wilbur. and since they were attached to the teen, he became protective of them as well.

so all the voices in his head went quiet for a second. before exploding into a mixture of screams and threats, all leading back to protecting the child in front of him.

without thinking, he reached forward and cupped their face for a better view of the bruise. at the warm and soft touch, tears slipped down the kid’s cheeks and they sniffed pathetically.

the voices quickly took a 180, all screaming to take care of them. make them feel better. so, techno led the kid inside and let them spend the night in his room, with them falling asleep on the bed and him falling asleep on the rocking chair in his room.

phil did not hesitate to officially declare himself as the teen’s official father, saying that their biological father was a “little bitch”

now somewhat living with the teen, techno found an appreciation for their quieter moments, when they were reading or simply daydreaming. it was cute, in his eyes. but he also grew to enjoy when they were absolutely feral, especially toward tommy.

his favorite moment with them was when they had gifted tommy a music disc for his birthday. it was sweet and sentimental and tommy just about burst into tears when he saw it.

all of the sappiness quickly vanished when tommy put it into a jukebox.

“FUCK THIS PUSSY, BOY, FUCK. FUCK IT RIGHT, BOY--”

tommy had let out the most terrified scream and it practically engrained itself into techno’s brain. it was the first time he ever laughed at something the teen had done and the teen felt proud of themselves.

and finally, tommy. he was already happy to call himself a friend of the teen’s. they were like peas in a pod, working together.

tommy came to them when his insecurity felt heavy and they came to him whenever their dad’s words got to them. they had a nice system of dependency on one another and neither of them would trade it for the world.

tommy’s favorite moment of being friends with them was during their first birthday living in phil’s house. it was a birthday befitting their personality, with brightly color streamers hung and confetti all over the floor. he knew that they enjoyed it severely and once the cake was cut, the kid turned to phil.

“phil, where’s the big tiddy strippers i requested?”

tommy was GONE

he all but choked on his slice of cake and walked away, shaking his head while trying to stifle his giggles. but when he heard phil’s scream of “WHAT”, he just lost it.

all in all, his friend had made a fine part of the sleepy boys. they were a happy face in an otherwise somewhat bleak and dangerous world. and all four men appreciated it.

[whumpzone]

Linden & Colton - 19

(masterpost)

CW: references to noncon, Col fearing he'll be sexually abused, flashbacks, brief victim blaming, pet whump, dehumanisation

-

Linden’s phone buzzed again, and he knew exactly who it’d be before he even looked.

Sure enough, messages from his brother were crowding his phone screen. Vikram texted in small, frantic messages, that Linden found oddly funny.

lol fine knowing you you’ll never suggest a day

are you free tomorrow? I’ll come over for lunch or something

you know you miss me!!

Linden rolled his eyes, but truth be told, he did miss him. A new message appeared before he had the chance to start typing.

fine FINE I just want to see jaffa. you can die idc

That made him huff out a laugh, but he’d never give Vik the satisfaction of knowing that. Instead, he typed back:

Tomorrow is fine, don’t worry about bringing food. What are you doing now? Can you ring me? I have something to tell you before you visit.

Vik replied almost immediately.

yeah gimme 2 secs, who have you killed lol!

He checked around for Colton, but he was nowhere to be seen. Probably still working his way through the little chores and tasks Linden had given him, which meant he was either changing the roll of toilet paper in the bathroom (great for dexterity) or watering the balcony plants (providing plenty of fresh air and sunlight). Either way, he still positioned himself in the corner of the lounge, the furthest from his Pet’s ears.

He answered on the second ring. “Vik?”

“Hey, big man. You alright?”

“Yeah… yeah… I, um, I need to tell you something before you come over.”

“You sound tense, mate. What is it? Everything okay?”

“Yeah, everything’s fine it’s just- I have a Pet. Uh. Yeah.”

Vik didn’t miss a beat. “Are you serious? You, a Pet owner? Please.”

“I know, but there was this, this ad, in the paper, the council were talking about this random stray and they said if no one claimed him they were gonna put him down. They would have murdered him, Vik! And I don’t know. I just thought, fuck, no one else is gonna do anything are they. So I rang them up and they gave him to me for free.”

“Wow,” Vik said, a placeholder while he digested all of that. “So, how is he?”

“He’s alright, yeah. Only recently learned that he could speak. He’s still really really jumpy.”

“He’s scared of you, then,” Vik translated.

“Yeah. I don’t know how much of him you’ll see tomorrow. I’ll tell him it’s alright if he just stays in his room.”

“I can’t picture you as a Pet owner, even though you’re not a proper one.”

“Not a proper one as in I’m a good person with a soul?” Linden quipped. Vik snorted.

“Basically. Ew, it’s weird! He does whatever you say! But you’re just- you’re Linden. You’re my stupid baby brother. He should be telling you what to do.”

Linden smiled. Vik always put him at ease. Difficult topics seemed to flow off him like water off a duck. “Yeah, yeah it is kind of weird, I’m still getting used to it. But you see why I wanted to let you know beforehand.”

“Oh, yeah, totally,” he laughed. “Or else I might have thought he was burgling your house and I’d have asked to join in.”

“Oh, shut up. See you for lunch.”

“See you, Pet man!”

Linden felt the weight lift from his shoulders, but not entirely. Now he had to tell Col.

. . .

He had finished over ten minutes ago. Shiny drops of water still lingered on some of the wider leaves, not quite ready to drop into the moist soil below. But the balcony was too warm and sunny to resist, so Col was still kneeling there when he heard Master’s voice behind him.

He flinched hard at the sound, getting up quickly and ungraciously, tripping over his own feet as if he hadn’t just been caught lazing around.

Through the doorway, a perfect rectangle of light caught Master’s face, cutting down through one eye and turning his left cheek a tawny brown. He had his hands clasped behind his back, and leant forward slightly.

“Don’t worry about getting up, you’re fine, love. No, I don’t know if you heard, but I was just speaking to my brother Vikram over the phone. He’s going to visit tomorrow.”

Master was having a guest. Col nodded, but his mind went white. He suddenly felt like he wasn’t in control anymore. He was underwater, and Master’s voice barely faded through from above the surface.

“You can stay in your room, okay? You don’t have to come down and see him, if you don’t want to. There’s no pressure. I just wanted to let you know beforehand.”

The words flowed past his head, and whatever barriers had been pulled down over his mind kept them from making a dent. “Thank you, sir,” his body replied.

“Okay?” Master half-smiled. “Okay. Good stuff, Col. It’s a nice day- stay out on the balcony more, I know you like it there. I’ll see you later, okay?”

He nodded, but it must have been delayed, because he blinked and Master had left the room, as if he had never been there. Had Col dreamt it?

Turning around, the flowers were wet, so he had completed that task. He knew he had been ordered to stay, so he did, trying to keep the creeping dread from flooding him entirely.

But-

The next day-

It all came crashing down. His eyes snapped open and he was in his room, waiting, and then there was the click of the front door and Master was speaking, speaking with another voice- there was a man in the house-

Master only ever had guests when his Pet had been bad, and he was going to be taught a lesson, and that’s why he was told to wait in his room, that’s why he was prepped, maybe it was a small mercy. But he had been in such a state of denial, barely able to process the news, that he hadn’t done anything to make it hurt less.

All he knew was that he was on the floor in the corner, the furthest one from the bed, and his arms were wrapped around him as if that’d do anything to stop the onslaught. He knew they would just force his limbs apart and restrain them like that until they were done, and it didn’t matter whether he cried and begged. Sometimes they even enjoyed it more when he did. Once he had been lifted up by his throat and told to beg for his life, and it made everyone laugh, because look at it, it wants this, it’s begging for it.

The door handle turned and Col could see Master’s face. His eyes scanned the room briefly before they landed on Col, tucked away in the corner of the room. “Col? What is it?”

. . .

Hey, Col. Vik is here, just so you know, but again, no pressure to come downstairs. He knew what he would say, the tone he’d say it in, so he could hopefully make Col feel secure. But it all fell apart when he laid eyes on the Pet, curled up and trembling on the far side of the room.

“Col?” he said. “What is it?”

“You promised,” Col sobbed, utterly betrayed. Linden’s heart broke. “You promised you wouldn’t- wouldn’t- wouldn’t do that…”

“I won’t,” he said, understanding immediately and wanting more than anything to go over to Col and pull him into a hug. But he couldn’t. He knew that.

“You said you wouldn’t let anyone else,” he whispered, looking up at him with bloodshot eyes.

Then- the moment of vulnerability passed. Not that Col looked any less vulnerable. He was still hunched, small and weak, programmed to do whatever it took to make Linden happy. But he caught his tongue, and the mask slipped back on.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry. You can do- do what you want to me. Of course. I’m not, I don’t mean to question you, Master, I’m sorry, I know my place, I’m good, I promise I’m good.”

“You are, you’re really good.” He put a hand over his heart and kept it there. “I’m not going to come in, Vik isn’t going to come in. Neither of us are going to hurt you. I promised, and I’m sticking to it.”

Col was still sobbing, but it was more uneven breaths than actual tears. He couldn’t have spoken even if he wanted to with the way his lungs were pulling the rug from underneath him.

“For now, I think you might feel safer if I just left you alone, so I’ll go back downstairs, okay? And I won’t disturb you again. You just make sure you feel better, that’s all that matters. Don’t worry, Col. You’re safe.”

-

Vikram didn’t say anything as Linden returned, but he did raise his eyebrows. Linden just nodded, keeping quiet until he was sat back down and, hopefully, out of earshot.

“Poor thing,” said Linden. “He thinks, well- he just sees everything as a threat. I don’t know if he’s ever had a positive experience with another person before. At least not in his memory. Did you…”

He trailed off and Vik simply nodded. All humour was gone from his face; he knew when to leave it out, and when it would help. “Yeah, I heard a bit of it. Heard him crying.”

“I don’t want you to take it personally-“ Linden started, but Vik had already swatted at him.

“Oh, stop it. As if I would. But I am- I am happy I’m here, even though I’m sorry it’s scared him. You need someone too, Linden. Like, shit, this is a full time job.”

“You sound weird, being nice to me” he smiled weakly. Vik grinned back at him, in complete earnest.

“Well then, we can talk about something else, if you want. Something I can confidently mock you for. Where’s Jaffa, too?” he twisted around in his chair, searching for her. His floofed-up hair, hairsprayed to excess, bobbed around on the top of his head as he went. “Where’s my little main attraction?”

Soon Vik had Jaffa on his lap where he was brushing her absent-mindedly, listening to Linden talk about the latest book he had read.

“You are a fuckin’ hermit, dude.”

“And?” Linden pulled his best bored-looking face.

“Well… actually, yeah, stay indoors. Forcing you to come drinking with me would be at the rest of the pub’s expense.”

“You’re a bastard,” Linden laughed. “It’s you they should be worrying about, with that boulder of hair on your head. Look at the state of it, it crunches when you touch it.”

“The ladies love it.”

“Yeah, ‘cause they know if they get locked out they can use it to smash a window.”

. . .

Above them, Col listened. He couldn’t make out the words, but both men seemed happy and upbeat, excited about the night ahead of them, excited about the pliant little bitch waiting upstairs.

Before that, though-

Colton had been openly defiant. He had begged for it to stop before it had even started. He hadn’t taken an ounce of pain, nothing had earned him the right to plead for mercy. He had not only been insubordinate, but he had done it while Master had a guest. That kind of embarrassment would not go unpunished. Master would not have his authority undermined by some common stray.

Col desperately needed to apologise. He knew he shouldn’t just wait for his punishment like usual this time. This time he needed to right the balance. He would prove that he knew his place, and show Master’s guest that his rule here was absolute. So with shaking hands, he slowly creaked open the door, and went downstairs.

The laughter died as he came into view, and even the feeling of their eyes settling over his body made his skin prickle. For a split second, his feet locked in place, but as usual his fear pushed them onwards. He kept his head down, his arms behind his back, his shoulders hunched. As soon as he reached Master’s feet, he knelt. Forehead to the floor. Hands to his sides, ready to be stomped on or grabbed. He was a slave. He was always open for his Master’s use. He did not answer back and he did not question.

“Col, are you, are you sure you want to be here?” Master asked from above. He was very sure. But yes, of course, it was no use Col thinking these kinds of affirmations in his head. He had to make them clear.

“I’m here to apologise, sir, for daring to answer back and embarrassing you. Your Pet knows that he is owned completely and it was c-completely wrong to question you. I had no right to ask for mercy, I don’t deserve any. I’m a mindless Pet with no free will and I exist to serve you. P-Please, accept th-this apology. It won’t- won’t happen again.”

He stammered, towards the end. He could only hope Master wouldn’t get angry about it.

. . .

Ironically, it was now that Linden was embarrassed. He glanced over at Vik, and as the two brothers made eye contact, it was as if they had exchanged a whole conversation.

You see, see what I mean? See how he is?

Yeah, dude. It’s fucked up.

I’m sorry.

Don’t be. You’re doing your best to help him. I’m not embarrassed if you’re not.

He gently reached down to Col and rested a palm on top of his head. He jerked in surprise, a weak gasp escaping his lips, but he otherwise stayed perfectly still.

“Okay, love. Thank you. I’m not angry, okay? My brother is here and he always puts me in a good mood.”

He shot another glance at Vik, mouthing this is how I make him understand. Vik nodded. He was looking at Col curiously. Linden wondered if this was how he had pictured him.

“You didn’t embarrass me. You’re fine. I’m not going to hurt you. Vik doesn’t want to hurt you either. Why don’t you go and sit on the balcony, and I’ll sit with you later, and pet your head? You’re not in trouble.”

As he retracted his hand Col’s head tilted upwards, chasing the warmth of the touch. He kept his eyes low, but whispered, “Thank you, sir, thank you, thank you for having mercy. It won’t happen again, I promise.”

“Okay, you’re okay. Let me help you up.”

It was technically an order, and Col obeyed silently, offering no resistance as Linden slipped a hand over his elbow and pulled him to his feet. He smiled at Col, but his face was blank and resigned. Beyond fear. He had done what he could, and his fate was in Linden’s hands once more. It hurt to know that. Linden could decide to leash Col at any moment, torture him with knives and burning oil and belts, and Col wouldn’t be able to do anything about it.

Linden steered him to the base of the stairs, and then gently encouraged him upwards, until he had drifted out of sight entirely.

The house was silent. He turned back to Vik, but neither had to say anything. Linden already knew that he understood.

-

first half of the taglist!

@newbornwhumperfly @whumpadump1939 @firewheeesky @whump-me-all-night-long @captainseconds @grizzlie70 @unicornscotty @lave-whump @princessofonward @cupcakes-and-pain @bumbumbea @whumpfigure @yet-another-heathen @secretwhumplair @whumps-up @as-a-matter-of-whump @getyourwhumphere @itzagoodthing @whumpymirages @soapparentlyilikewhumpnow @zipadeedooda-drabbles @penny-for-your-whump @briars7 @legallylibra @angel-stars @loyds-of-registry @tears-and-lilies @badluck990 @rosesareviolentlyread

@vickytokio @neuro-whump @thingsthatgo-whump-inthenight @whumpsy-daisies @control-whump @theydy-cringeworthy @starnight-whump @cursedandtired @jo-doe-seeking-inspo @justabitofwhump @glamrockgregory @rippedjeansandfadeddreams @genesissane @justbreakonme @addyez @httyd-chocolate