#i’m so sorry i’m tipsy and this is so funny to me rn

[diadotcom]

dude started saying shit about the canopy behind its back bro i think it heard him…….

[basiccortez]

GVF Headcannon #4: Faking it

note: my inbox is open if y'all wanna drop in and say hi:) pls do I'm real lonely rn I'm also working on requests as fast as I can! So if you requested something, thank you for being patient, I will be caught up soon.

warnings: contains smut

Josh:

He stared at you with disbelief, not believing the words that just came out of your mouth. You didn’t realize a simple tipsy conversation over drinks would have such an impact on the lead singer. Sam decided to play the stupid “Never Have I Ever. . . “ game, and Josh didn’t think his feelings and pride would be hurt in the first 5 minutes, but Sam decided to ask a heavy hitting question, and you weren’t holding back on your answer.

“You fake it?” Josh asked in a low voice, that you barely heard it.

“I mean. . . not recently but, yeah,” You answered honestly.

“When?” Josh asked. His expression was one of a kicked puppy, trying to figure out when, and why. He had always encouraged you to be honest with him about the way he was making you feel, whether that was in the bedroom or not, “Y/N, when?”

“Like when we first started dating,” You said, not really wanting to talk about it in front of his brothers and their girlfriends, “Can we talk about this at home?” Josh nodded and set his drink down. He grabbed your hand and pulled you away from the group, into one of the guest bedrooms in Sam’s house, “I said at home,”

“As close as we can get, why did you fake it?”

“Josh,” You sighed and stepped closer to him, “It was when we first started dating, and we were still trying to learn about each other. What we liked, what we didn’t like. I-I didn’t know what to do, so I just. . . faked it,”

“Mama,” Josh said and closed the gap between the two of you. He placed his hands on your face, so you could look him in the eye, “I want you to always be honest with me. If I’m doing what I need to do to pleasure you, then tell me. Unlike a lot of men, I actually care about your pleasure. It’s part of my job,”

You felt your cheeks heat up as Josh spoke. Before started having sex with Josh, you had never experienced the type of pleasure and bliss. Josh loved the praises and words that came out of your mouth when he was going down on you. He wanted you to feel good, and spent time making sure you did.

“I promise Josh,” You answered and Josh nodded and kissed your forehead.

“Okay,” Josh smiled, “Now strip, I plan on making you forget why you even faked it in the first place,”

-------------------------------

Sam:

Sam was being a child; pouting and ignoring anything you had to say. He had overheard your girls night conversation with Mackenzi about orgasms and sex toys. He was intrigued until you told her that the last time you had sex with Sam, you faked your orgasm. You blamed yourself and felt guilty, and was unsure if you were broken or what. Mackenzi explained that stress can affect you libido, and to not feel bad about faking it. Sam, though, took it to heart, and even though you were trying to have an adult conversation with him about it, he crossed his arms and turned away from you.

“Samuel,”

“No,”

“We need to talk about this!”

“No,”

“Sam,”

“What else are you faking? Hm? Your love for me?”

“No, Sam,” You sighed rubbing your head, “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, I felt embarrassed to tell you,”

“Why? I feel like a total dumbass. I’m over here thinking I’m giving my girlfriend the best time of her life, but in reality I can’t get her to cum. You should’ve just told me,” Sam pouted even more. You sat down next to him on the couch and grabbed his hands. He looked at you, and you couldn’t help but smile. Sometimes, Sam was such child, which was probably one of the reasons you fell in love with him. He was goofy, and funny, and you couldn’t stay mad at him no matter how hard you tried.

“I am sorry,” You said again, “I was stressed out with work, and things with the house, and helping you get ready to leave for tour. I was feeling off,”

“You need to tell me these things,” Sam mumbled, “I don’t like. . . I don’t like the fact that we had sex and you didn’t like it-“

“Oh I liked it-“

“Clearly not as much as you think,” Sam added and you rolled your eyes, “Is what Mackenzi said true? Foreplay helps?”

“I-I mean yeah, it does,”

“Perfect,” Sam smirked, “Sit on my face.”

-------------------------------------------

Jake:

“Did you just fake your orgasm?” Jake asked, lifting his head up from between your thighs. You stared at him like a deer in the headlights for a split second, and then threw your head back dramatically, “Y/N, I’m serious. Did you just fake your orgasm?”

“I-. . . yeah,” You sighed in defeat. Jake’s expression was shocked, as he gently set your legs back down on the bed, and crawled away from you. You scrambled to sit up and reach out to him, “Jake, I’m so-“

“Wow,” Jake said, “I was down there for like half an hour, thinking I was doing the lord’s work, just for you to fake it?”

“It was good! Really, it was good! I just couldn’t. . . get there,”

“Get there? Would it be better if you imagined I was Shawn Mendes or Ryan Reynolds,”

“If you were Ryan Reynolds I would’ve came in the first 2 minutes,” You joked out, and Jake’s jaw dropped open, “I mean-“

“Oh no sweetheart, you don’t get off that easily,” Jake said.

“We’ve just been having so much sex!” You whined, and Jake looked at you, “My hips are sore, my legs are sore, my throat hurts-“

“Well you should’ve just told me that, babe,” Jake said crawling back over to you. He laid down next to you, and pulled your body into his, and cuddled you into his chest.

“I love having sex with you,” You answered, “But maybe not like everyday, maybe like every two days,”

“It’s all good sweetheart,” Jake said, but his voice had a teasing tone to it, “But you earned yourself 2 weeks,”

“Two weeks!?” You exclaimed pushing off of him.

“Keep it up, and it’ll be 3 weeks,”

“Ryan would never do this to me,” You mumbled flopping back down on his chest. Jake chuckled and nuzzled into your neck more, placing soft kisses on your skin.

-----------------------------------------

Danny:

“Daniel,” You were basically begging at this point. The vibrator between your legs had you begging and arching off the bed. He placed it there as your punishment. The long haired man looked over at you and raised an eyebrow, “I already said i’m sorry!”

“Okay,” Danny said and went back to reading his book.

“Please!! Danny, i’m sorry! I learned my lesson!”

“That’s nice,”

“Daniel!” You snapped. Danny threw his book down and made his way over to you. He wrapped his large hand around your throat, squeezing it lightly. You knew you had fucked up to get this situation, and you yelling at him made it worse.

“And why should I let it stop? Hm? You thought it was nice and lie and fake having an orgasm and didn’t think there would be any sort of punishment?”

“I’m sorry-“

“I’m going to make sure you never, ever forget who makes you feel good or what it feels like to be so overstimulated you’re makeup is running down your face.” You couldn’t say any words as Danny removed the vibrator from your clit and replaced it with his fingers. Your head feel back in pure ecstasy. You were already soaking from him teasing you for hours, you needed a switch up. You need him inside you.

“Please, Danny, I need you.”

“What do you want sweetheart?” Danny smirked, moving his fingers faster and faster. Your brain could hardly form sentences as you were so close to the edge.

“Fuck, danny don’t stop. I’m gonna- please let me-“ You started to say and felt Danny’s hands and body slip away from you, “Wait, no! Please!” You cried grinding your hips against the air, “Danny!?”

“You really think you deserve to cum after you faked it?”

“That was over a month ago!” You yelled pushing yourself up on your elbows, “You’ve barley touched me, took away my toys, denied my release… what else do you need!?”

Danny chuckled and grabbed your ankle pulling you to the edge of the bed, “On your knees sweetheart,”

needless to say, you never faked another orgasm after.

--------------------

general tag list: @Godzillalyz @gretavanfleas @sarakay-gvf @444twpk @barbariansgvf @leah2002 @Tastic-gvf @doodle417 @sesamepancakes @theweightofstardust @dannythedog @fleetastic @escapefromrealitylol @heatmyfleet @trafficwasabitch @frickin-bats @xserenax-13 @abby_gvf @screechesincoherently

Josh M Kiszka taglist: @Lillihinds @agirlwithmanytastes @the-weightof-dreams

Jake T Kiszka taglist: @gretavanfle3t @raeraybaebay @brinly_gvf @gretavankleep37 @downbad4gvf @Joshkiszkascurls

Sam F Kiszka taglist: @agirlwithmanytastes @gretavankleep37

Daniel R Wagner taglist: @downbad4gvf

taglist form

[thefloorisbalaclava]

soft hours are hitting rn. Imagine seeing frankie at a friend’s party and he’s just awkwardly standing in a corner, all grumpy bc he really doesn’t wanna be here but santi wanted to go and gave him no choice but to come. Somehow you start talking and he’s kinda shy because he thinks you’re really really pretty but you two instantly hit it off and he loosens up after a while and you have some real nice talks outside and maybe take a walk while you’re both kinda tipsy and laugh a lot -nemo💝🥺💘💕

i’m always here for soft hours!

Frankie was never one for parties. They were loud and crowded and, more often than not, Santiago was always trying to hook him up with someone.

You didn’t like parties either and the guy standing a few feet away from you looked like he would rather be anywhere else but here. Your eyes wandered to him a few times that night, but he looked as though he didn’t want to be bothered. When you looked at him this time, he was looking at you and you felt as though he caught you doing something bad. You turned away quickly and groaned inwardly, hiding your face with the red solo cup you were drinking from.

“Hey,” someone said behind you.

Please don’t be cute guy in the hat, please don’t be cute guy in the hat, you hoped as you turned slowly. Cute guy in the hat it was.

“Hi...I, uh, sorry about that,” you said then drank a little more to calm yourself.

“About what?” Oh god, he was even cuter up close.

“I...I was looking at you. Sorry.” You looked down into your cup and bit the inside of your cheek.

“You’re apologizing for looking at me?” He smiled and, yup, still cute.

“I don’t want you to think I was staring like some creep...I just...I just thought it was funny that we both kinda look outta place here, you know?” You sounded ridiculous. “I’ll shut up now.”

“There are worse things that could happen at a party than a beautiful woman staring at me,” he admitted. His voice was getting louder as he tried to speak over the music so he leaned in closer. “I’m gonna go out for some air. You wanna...” He pointed at the door and you nodded. “I’ll grab us some drinks first. Meet me out there?”

“Yeah.” You watched as he walked to grab a few more beers, giggling at the way your eyes traveled down to his jeans and noticed how well they fit him. “What am I doing?” you whispered as you walked to the door and opened it.

The crisp night air hit you and you pulled your sweater tighter around you. Moving off to the side, you looked up at the sky and smiled--such a beautiful, clear night.

“See anything?” he asked as he stepped outside. He quickly closed the door as if not to disturb you.

“Yeah, but I wish I could see more.” 

“Here you go.” He handed you one of the cups and you thanked him. “You gotta get away from all the light pollution,” he said.

“Hm?”

“If you wanna see more stars the trick is to get as far away as possible from civilization which is something I like to do...frequently.” He chuckled and you turned to him.

“Sounds magical.”

“Oh, it is. Just me, my truck, and the stars. Nothing like it.” He looked up the way you had before and sighed. “I’m Francisco, by the way. You can call me Frankie.” 

You told him your name and shook his hand. “Would you like to walk with me, Francisco?”

“Now? Where to?”

“Let’s see where our feet take us,” you said.

You two drank and talked and he made you laugh more than anyone ever has. Usually, you felt so awkward and shy when talking to someone you didn’t know, but it was different with him. And you liked it a lot. You stumbled a bit at one point and he moved quickly to steady you.

“Thanks...Francisco...”

He smiled then looked away shyly. “I think you may have had too much to drink,” he teased.

“I just...tripped a little...that’s all.” You blinked a few times to focus on him.

“How many cups of beer did you have before this one?”

“Uh...three?” You shrugged.

“Are you telling me or asking me?” He laughed as you shoved him playfully. “You think we should head back?”

“Do we have to?” you whined.

“We have to eventually,” he said, sounding a little disappointed himself. “I enjoyed this, you know?”

“Yeah...me too.”

“If you ever wanna get away from civilization with me sometime...I could use the company. Been a long time since I took anyone stargazing with me.” He smiled over at you.

“I’d like that, Francisco.”

“Why don’t you call me Frankie?” he asked.

“I dunno. I like Francisco. Francisco,” you said with emphasis and he scoffed. “So...I guess we should head back, huh?”

“Hm...let’s just keep seeing where our feet take us,” he said, echoing what you had said to him earlier.

You linked your arm with his. “Sounds great.”

[beecherdrysdale]

Waittt can I just say how happy I am about our friendship! It has blossomed so much. Remember when we were talking about skating at the start ?!

I’m sorry about your shoulder, hip and knee problems. I totally understand! I have hip and ankle problems😓 . The life of athletes.

Hahaha stripper girl! My thoughts too lol . School is annoying but I gotta keep up hehe.

Haha Jamie is happy I’m not drowning him anymore, but you know what it’s a fitness challenge for him heheh! . I honestly don’t really believe that you would go easy lol , I feel like once you get into that competitive zone you are unstoppable!. You guys are dominate- imma go create t shirts !!

I’m not gonna lie, I can kinda see either me or Ryan falling off the jet ski hehe. We’re a chaotic duo. Our director also agrees w our partnership. I’m thinking a 2 person jet ski for you and Dylan. Ahhhh him holding you 🥺🥺 and putting his chin on your shoulder omg.

Go ponytail twins!! Are u good at doing ur hair? Cuz I can help you !! Haha me too! Shorts are more of my go to. Haha I had to skate away so that she wouldn’t see me losing it hehe. Also lol! That’s pretty funny. I can barely scare my parents.

Is it weird that I can totally see you laughing at us?! Me, Dylan and quinner would probably swear the most hehe.

Yess you and dylan🥺🥺 the photo would be great! Both of you smiling and me and the boys looking like shit lol. I’m not sure who matches me more. Who do see hugging me ?

Yess please send me a regional hoodie😍😍 kk I’ll go get you one ;) or do you want a red wings one? I think that’s the team you like ?

Honestly I just like being comfy at school so i get you . I like to dress up more during the weekend. Do u have any cool necklaces?

Haha yesss me and Ryan would probably start like picking each other up lol. Or just doing super crazy moves. Yess ofc I’ll teach quinner to dance. Gotta get him *tipsy* first tho. Yass you with Jamie, I can see you do more of an upbeat dance and then a slow one w Dylan 🥺 awwww I see that !! Just admiring each other 😍

Yaaa my guy best friend lives like 20 mins away from me if I walk lol. I get it soon wbu ? . Black cherry is great 🤌 have you ever had champagne?

Okkk another cute vacay idea I have is all of us sitting around a bonfire w blankets and a bunch of food! Since Dylan knows how to play the guitar everybody can sing- other than me since I have a terrible voice lol. Aww the cuddling that would go on!! Or some of the boys just falling asleep on you! I see u and dyl. He can serenade you hehe.

ok yesss i love our friendship sm! i always look forward to responding to your asks 💖 haha yes at the very beginning we were mostly only talking about skating. i’m pretty sure the first thing you sent was after i did really bad on a test and said to send in soft thoughts

oof yeah knee and hip problems are tough. my mom just recently found out about my joint problems, which i thought she knew about but ig not, and now she’s vv concerned for me lol

ok so i’m pretty sure i’ve already shared this story, but one time i accidentally said i was gonna drop out to become a stripper in front of my gym teacher at my very catholic school and she just goes “you’d probably make more money than me” 💀 but yeah you just gotta keep up with school ig

hehe yes you gotta keep jamie in shape for hockey season. also that is vv true i do get competitive once i get into it so i probably wouldn’t go easy on you sorry lol. aww t-shirts for us tyyy 🥰

haha yes i could see one of you falling off the jet ski. tbh i probably would too bc i can be kinda clumsy sometimes. falling in gang lol. omg him with his chin on my shoulder 🥺🥺 that’s some soft shit and i’m here for it

i’m good at most hair, but i would definitely need your help bc i can not get a ponytail without bumps lol. but also imagine one of the guys sees one of us putting braids in our hair and decides he wants to try and then they all decide to have a competition to see who can do it best (inspired by events that have actually occurred to me). haha yes i would do the same just skate away. and i was dying when i scared my dad bc i can never scare him and i wasn’t even trying to lol

omg yes, sorry but i would be laughing at all of you. hehe we would probably all be smiling but still look like shit in the picture but that’s ok. and i could probably see jamie hugging you more, idk he just seems like a bit more of a cuddly person than quinner

hehe let me find a regional hoodie i can part with. ooh a red wings hoodie. yes i love them even tho they’re awful rn. oh you’re lucky you can be comfy at school i have to wear a uniform, and then i usually have a lot of swim practice/meets on weekends so i’m just in hoodies all the time lol. the only necklace i really wear is my saint brigid’s cross, but i probably have others somewhere

omgggg i can picture it you and ryan together would be so funny but so cute. yes we would definitely have to get quinner tipsy and loosen him up lol. then you could get him to dance. yes just vibing with jamie during one of the songs and doing a slow song with dyl 😍

oooh that’s fun that he lives close. i turn 16 on memorial day, so i have to wait til the next weekend to get my license bc the dmv will be closed. no i haven’t had champagne bc my parents don’t like it and my friends and i have just never gotten any

omg yes i love bonfires and food, so perfect! haha i will join you in the non-singing group bc i also have an awful voice lol. and then the cuddling that would happen in the dark when they think none of the other guys can see them cuddling us 🥺 or if they fall asleep on us 🥺🥺 omg getting serenaded would be so cute

[almaasi]

reaction post typed while watching JIBcon videos (part 3 of ?)

Cockles panel

in which Jensen commits unicorn murder and I wanna call the unicorn cops

part 1 // part 2

currently watching this video:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dd8O2-_Akk0&ab_channel=thiniassk

--

04:51pm

i have like.... 4 minutes left of this panel

LET’S GO

(edit: nope it was 4 minutes of that video, then another 15 minute video)

-

04:53

oh yeah, jensen’s lowkey flipping off the crowd about canon destiel

-

04:54

oh!! i see what that anon meant about jensen sitting in his chair weird. whenever he puts his hand in his pocket he’s having a dick issue

a dickssue, if you will

(also he continues to flip off the crowd, he’s so angry rn)

-

04:56

misha: “dean doesn’t like it when cas [stands/stares?] in his doorway and watches him sleep”

jensen doing some mAJOR crotch-protection

is his fighting a boner or is he made deeply vulnerable by this question and misha’s v gay answer? maybe both

-

jared: “because he’s naked”

BUT WHO IS NAKED. CAS OR DEAN??

omg

-

05:02pm

video ended!! last one

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2aJYiR715n0&ab_channel=thiniassk

-

05:04

jensen lifts one arm off his crotch and then immediately puts the other one across

hot damn there’s definitely a situation there, physical or emotional, i can’t tell

wow

but that said, misha has had his arms crossed this ENTIRE panel. i don’t think either of them fully relaxed this time around. they’re both tense, they’re both mildly uncomfortable. jensen way more than misha. that’s a low mood if i ever saw one

-

05:08

jensen confirms that the casting is done by the director

so now we know who to blame when episodes kill a lot of black people

-

05:09

his arm left his crotch for the first time in several minutes, when he started talking about directing

which confirms that the discomfort was emotional, not physical - or at least he maybe dealt with the physical boner (? - going off info an anon sent me) and was left with an emotional echo, and only relaxed when passionate thoughts on directing distracted him

-

05:13

um okay

weird

jensen cheered up REAL fast.

-

05:14

okay no

i was wrong

he’s still fucking PISSED AS HELL

honestly i kind of hate that part of his personality. passive aggressive destruction of things that bring other people joy as a vaguely-directed form of punishment

see the problem i have... with jared, and come to think of it, jensen too, is that destructive hurt-somebody streak. yeah sure it’s just a plastic unicorn. but. it’s a symbol and jensen knows it. break the thing and you break the thing it symbolises. it’s a soft pure innocent thing full of gay love and he wants it dead.

i maybe roll back my take on the destiel vs jensen thing last post. either that or i stand by it, and chalk this up to self-defence of his heterostraight manliness, because jensen felt put on the spot by misha and jared’s gay destiel talk. idk yet

but anyone who breaks other people’s things when they’re angry has a problem

god he’s so complicated

and the way he does this when he’s angry legitimately makes me upset. i can’t believe he has young kids and still does this kind of thing without empathy

i don’t know whether i’m just growing up or whether these destructive “jokes/pranks” are getting old. but i am really, really over it

-

05:30

and just thinking about this more, i feel like it would be easy to accuse me of saying “well i bet you think MISHA can do no wrong”

but like

he doesn’t

he doesn’t do this. he lifts people up, he comforts them, he fixes things, he makes new things, he turns a frown upside down. if he does do anything destructive it’s with permission and a creative purpose. HE DOESN’T HURT PEOPLE. HE DOESN’T BREAK THINGS.

in short he’s not an entitled jerk.

i know i answered a question yesterday and said i’m invested in who jensen is as a person, and i am, same for jared, but that doesn’t mean i won’t criticise behaviour i can’t agree with. same goes for misha. just happens that misha pisses me off 100% fewer times per year.

yeah, it’s a plastic unicorn. it was a joke. it was funny. it was a silly bit to entertain the audience.

but it wasn’t HIS plastic unicorn to murder. it didn’t entertain the audience, they all made a collective sad noise. he did that unicorn murder because of his own personal reasons.

-

edit to add: jensen’s plastic unicorn murder is in no way as bad as jared’s ACTUAL PHYSICAL HARM done to misha. but like. it kind of comes from the same place of carelessness.

-

idk. i just keep going into these con videos expecting to have a good time and then feeling surprised when these actors are not perfect people with the perfect answer, demonstrating perfect model celebrity behaviour to audiences of thousands.

i know they’re exhausted. i know jensen’s tipsy. i know he’s just messing around. i know it’s JUST A PLASTIC UNICORN.

maybe misha’s behaviour under the same circumstances just sets my expectations too high.

just........ be kind. don’t hurt other people. don’t break things that don’t belong to you. how hard is that?

the stupid thing is that if i said that to jensen he’d laugh and say “obviously”, but then doesn’t live up to his own standards, and probably doesn’t think twice about veering away from that under certain circumstances, seen here, case in point

-

and i say all this while still harbouring love for all three of them

just to be clear

-

05:48

oh my god there’s not a single person on earth who takes this damn long to watch a 45-minute con panel

i’m 3 minutes into this last video and i gotta stop again for now. sorry this one had yet another negative tone, i swear to you i intended to fill it with rainbows!!! and then jensen went and stabbed the rainbows

so

>:{

might be back tomorrow for more~ hopefully :D

[ruffboijuliaburnsides]

im gonna ask you a question. so, right now i identify as female (cis). and i'm not sure about it. how did you realize you were nonbinary? i tried out they/them pronouns once and i didn't like it. but like. sometimes i don't feel right with my name and my pronouns and my body. but that just might be depression or me zoning the heck out haha. i'm young, i have time. but i just want help? ? ? haha thank you and i really love your blog

Aw, no worries, nonny.  

So I’m going to preface this by saying that everyone’s experience is unique, I’m not a professional anything, take anything I say with a grain of salt and do your own research and come to your own decisions.  I will also mention that I have Borderline Personality Disorder, and one of the major symptoms of BPD is a lack of identity, sort of the… throwing yourself into things and other people and other people’s styles and making that who you are over and over and never quite feeling like you have an identity that means “you”.  I mention this because that’s one of the things that currently has the biggest impact on me of all my BPD issues, and that has colored my entire gender journey, which in turn colors my advice and thoughts about it.

So as far as me realizing I was NB, it was a looooong process.  I felt kind of dysphoric and maybe not-female for literal years, then I came out as trans because I figured “this probably means I’m a trans guy” and it felt MUCH better but still not quite right.  After a couple years I went “yeah, not quite a guy either. …I guess that means I’m neither?” and that’s pretty much how that happened.

All that said, I’ll mention the following things: 

1) the more I recognized and processed the internalized misogyny I have, the less dysphoric being read as female has become.  It’s kind of plateaued and I think I’ve mostly just hit “i’m nb but more comfortable on the feminine side of things than I used to be” but hey, who knows, right?  I mention this one first both to get it out of the way and because of stuff you mentioned in your ask.  It’s not unheard of at ALL for cis women to feel very dysphoric about their bodies and uncomfortable with their womanhood.  It’s not universal, though, it’s just a possible option.  Our society hates women and teaches women to hate themselves, but whether you’re just a woman dealing with the fallout of living in a deeply misogynistic society or a trans person is something only you can decide.

2) I have known more than one cis female lesbians who identified as nb and don’t anymore, or identified as a trans guy and now identify as nb or cis.  There is a lot of bullshit that most of us are trained into unknowingly about hating women and hating ourselves, and when we find ourselves loving women, it just compounds like… EVERYTHING.  So if you’re a lesbian or bi, this could be something to keep in mind.

3) my most dysphoric moments were also tied to what I would consider my most disassociated moments.  When i’m struggling so hard to even feel a connection to my body, things that make me actively NOT identify with my own body are like that much worse.  It could also be the other way around, but either way, they can feed into each other.  Mental illness can be a huge influence on your identity.  That doesn’t mean your identity is wrong just because you’re mentally ill - i firmly believe that part of the reason I identify with nonbinary so hard is because it’s sort of an “in-between, unspecific, not really anything” sort of identity to me, and that’s how I feel about my identity at large most of the time.  That said, identifying as NB has been a source of relief and joy, so even if it IS stemming from my BPD I don’t give a shit because it makes my life better.

4) It’s okay to change.  If you’re cis now, and you identify as NB or a trans guy later, that’s okay.  If even later, your identity shifts again, that’s ok too.  Some people find who they are young and never really stop feeling that.  Some people are really fluid and have a complex and ever-evolving relationship with their identity.  Neither one is wrong. Your labels are for YOU.  To make YOU feel like you have a handle on yourself.  As your understanding of yourself changes, your labels might change too.  That’s ok.  Anyone who tells you it’s not is not worth your time.

5) You are valid.  I know that’s basically a meme at this point and it’s a funny one, but the thing is that you are.  You are you.  You’re allowed to be you, and feel your feelings.  The important part of any of that is how you REACT and ACT ON those things. 

6) You’re allowed to tell people no when they ask questions.  You’re allowed to say “that’s personal” or “I don’t feel comfortable answering that” or “sorry, you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock that part of my backstory” or whatever.  You do not have to feel obligated to explain yourself and your identity and how you came to that identity and how it affects your sexuality etc etc ad nauseum to everyone who asks. It’s okay not to answer questions about things that people technically have no right to.  It’s also ok to answer them if you’re down for it, but you’re not being rude by saying “no, that’s too personal, I’m not comfortable with that”.  If they push it, THEY’RE the ones being rude.

7) The last and possibly most divergent from the original topic thing I’m going to say is possibly the most controversial?  And it’s more about attraction than gender, but in my experience, dealing with one inevitibly means dealing with the other at the very least inasmuch as where they intersect, but that experience is why I’m including this. Unless nothing else has worked for you, I would stay away, at least initially, from the split attraction model.  That’s the x-sexual/x-romantic split, and identifying them separately.  I am not saying they’re bad or that they can’t be useful or helpful, but the thing is that they are mostly of use to the ace community, and only to a limited extent.  Diving into them when you don’t need to can just over-complicate things; as much as labels are for YOU, it also doesn’t help to be overly specific.  If you can be sexually attracted to both guys and girls but you’re only interested in being in relationships with girls?  Sure, you could say you’re bisexual homoromantic (as a girl that is) but unless that is something that is NECESSARY FOR YOU, you could also just say you’re bi with a preference, or say you’re a lesbian because yes i think bi women who are still attracted to guys physically but have no intention of or desire to be with men can call themselves lesbians if that’s more comfortable for them.  I say this mostly because I and more than a few people I know have done the split attraction model because it’s what is being done or w/e and it messed with them being able to actually deal with issues they were having and correctly identifying their sexualities and etc etc etc.  It’s not intrinsically bad or harmful or wrong, but it’s also not intrinsically good, and it’s not useful for anyone.  Unless you think it’s absolutely the only way to find your identity, I would largely steer clear of it for yourself.  I put this last because it’s the least related to your actual question.

…I can’t think of anything else rn.  Use the identifiers and terms that you’re comfortable with but don’t feel bad or ashamed of changing them if you realize they don’t apply anymore.  Don’t feel like you have to identify things super-specifically just because it’s common practice.  Uh…. idk, i’m a wee bit tipsy but hopefully some of this was even a little bit helpful?  GOOD LUCK MY SMOL ONE, EVEN IF I CAN’T HELP I’M HERE TO LISTEN IF YOU NEED AN EAR OR A SHOULDER!

[crushingondaddario]

92 Questions

First time ever that I’m tagged in something like this! Probably no one will read it, but thank you @travel-scrabble sooo much anyway.

LAST

Drink: Lemonsoda if water doesn’t count, first time trying it!

Phone call: The cute person that tagged me, just to find the spot where to meet

Text message: Gossiping with @narcissablaack about her first date tomorrow, saucyyy

Song you listened to: “I Believe” from The Book of Mormon but sung by Panic at the Disco! sensation Brandon Urie

HAVE YOU EVER

Dated somebody twice: Nope, kind of pointless

Cheated on someone: Not really, maybe microcheated (google it) but not proud about it

Been cheated on: Counted as yes for me, as no for him

Kissed someone and regretted it: Yes, some people are really not worth it

Lost someone special: Uhm

Been depressed: Trying to stay positive! Meditation helps

Been drunk and thrown up: Never, just been tipsy; with alcohol my face gets super red and it’s embarassing, so let’s avoid that

IN THE PAST YEAR HAVE YOU

Made a new friend: Yes, I love to make them as many as possible

Fallen out of love: Not sure if it was really love but yes; sometimes people don’t realize that they have gotten over something they used to think it would have been impossible

Laughed until you cried: I laugh pretty easily, so something particularly funny kills me

Met somebody who changed you: I think everyone changes you at least a little bit

Found out who your true friends are: I have a list of “best friends” who are very close to me

Found out someone was talking about you: Somehow I’m a topic of conversation, but I have spies who tell me everything

Kissed any of your followers: Nope, but this year yessa

GENERAL

How many of your followers do you know IRL: Probably 2, a third one @comeangeliallinferno is my best friend but I’ve never met him

Do you wanna change your name: “Tony” never excited me, but I think that people have faces that reflect their name, so I’ll deal with it

What time did you wake up today: 8 am and was veeery productive

What were you doing at 12 last night: Chatting with friends

Something you can’t wait for: First thing that came up in my mind is Broadway’s production of Moulin Rouge!

Last time you saw your mum: She kindly made me dinner before I went to the gym

Something you wish you could change about your life: Being less cranky, I get offended too easily

What are you listening to rn: Compilation of favourite musical songs

What’s getting on your nerves rn: Show-offs

Nicknames: Tony Wang Kenobi, Tognazzi, Tonno, Toninopanevino, JiaJia

In a relationship: Yes super thrilling I know crazy right

Zodiac sign: Cancer, but I don’t identify a lot with it

Pronouns: He/him

Favourite TV shows: Sense8, How I Met Your Mother, Avatar, Once Upon a Time, Glee

Hair colour: Super black, wanted to try colours but scared to weaken them

Short hair or long: Kind of in the middle, always had them short, trying to grow them longer

Height: 175 cm, wish to be taller but I like that it’s a multiple of 5

Do you have a crush on someone: Does it mean people I know or celebrities?

What do you like about yourself: I’m very empathic and I care a lot about other people, which leads me to try to interact with them in a deeper level

Tattoos: Always wanted something on the back, but then I could not donate blood anymore

FIRSTS

Surgery: Never had one, luckily

Piercings: Not a fan of them

Best friend: Lavinia for sure, we were a little couple in kindergarten; still best friends now

First vacation: Can’t remember, let’s say more memorable one was 18th birthday in the Netherlands

First pair of sneakers: I remember this incredibly! Black and white Nikes with green sole, trying to be a cool kid in middle school

RIGHT NOW

Eating: Chocolate cookies straight from the supermarket

Drinking: Water, stay hydrated folks!

Listening to: I intend to play a little the ukulele now

Wanting kids: Always dreamed of it! Maybe two

Getting married: I think it’s a nice step

Career: Let’s hope that this Med School leads to something good; I want to contribute to Médecins Sans Frontières

WHICH IS BETTER

Lips or eyes: I like to look people in the eyes, no matter how they are shaped

Romantic or spontaneous: I’m a hopeless romantic, not kidding

Nose, stomach or nice arms: Dafuq, I think that “stomach” is the answer that makes more sense

Sensitive or loud: I’m both of them, they are not opposite

Relationship or hookup: Hookup suuucks, it really leaves you with nothing; better developing something with someone

Troublemaker or hesitant: ”I’m not throwing away my shot”

HAVE YOU EVER

Kissed a stranger: Errr no, I would do it just for medical ventilation purposes

Drank hard liquor:  At parties, sometimes

Lost glasses or contacts: A contact lens fell out of my eye as I was sneezing

Broken someones heart: Yes and I’m so sorry about it

Been arrested: Who knows? Just kidding... Maybe

Turned someone down: I should have

Cried when someone died: Hm yes

Fallen for a friend: Yes and it ruined the friendship; such a pity

DO YOU BELIEVE IN

Yourself: Somehow yes, but there is so much to improve

Miracles: Lol, I received Catholic education

Love at first sight: I hate people who just care about looks, however some people have inspiring auras

Santa: Parents immediately told me the truth, but I wanted to believe anyway

Kiss on the first date: I’m learning to take things slower

Life after love: What does it even mean? If you love yourself, you will never run out of love

That was super fun! I tag @narcissablaack and @comeangeliallinferno which are basically the only people I know on tumblr.

[catboyloki]

vanilla chai tea, flat white, mocha, jasmine tea, ice chocolate, caramel frape, iced lemon tea, hot chocolate, green tea, ice coffee, italian soda, sparkling water, orange juice, rose hip tea and herbal tea

hi,ok let’s get started :)💜

vanilla chai latte: are you in love ??

yes, with a few people actually, they just don’t know 😹

flat white: coffee or tea ??

tea all the way !!

mocha: dream job ??

ummm let’s go with a successful baker !!

jasmine tea: if you could go anywhere in the world, where would it be and why ??

i’d be england !! i’m actually half british, but i’ve never been there !!

iced chocolate: do you have a crush on someone ??

yes !! a few !!

caramel frappe: favourite video game ??

THE LAST OF US !! OMGGGGG !!

iced lemon tea: favourite song/band ??

my favourite band is either coldplay or the weeknd !! but my favourite song rn is ‘today has been ok’ by sleeping at last !!

hot chocolate: are you an affectionate person ??

yes !! probably a lil too much sometimes 😅

green tea: how tall are you ??

i’m 5'8" !!

iced coffee: do you like reading ?? if so, what’s your favourite book ??

welllll when i was in middle school i absolutely loved the warriors series !! but all time favourites are ‘a corner of the universe’ , ‘kensuke’s kingdom’ , and 'runaway twin’ !! and yes i love to read !!

italian soda: describe your dream date !!

probably window shopping in old ellicott city, and stopping in a cafe for a bite to eat, then some hiking !!

sparkling water: describe what qualities you look for in a person !!

well i like kind people, and funny, loyal, a lil weird like me haha

orange juice: have you ever had a valentine ??

unfortunately, no !!

rose hip tea: describe your first kiss !!

well it was in seventh grade, with my best friend at the time, lizzy !! we were both a lil tipsy, laying in her bed, watching clueless !! she sat on top of my hips, and said can i kiss you ?? i said sure and she did !! she asked if she could again, but i asked her something like are you sure you’re in your right mind (i wasn’t really prepared for anything like that at all) and she said probably not and rolled over and went to sleep 😅

herbal tea: you’re at a candle shop, what scented candle do you buy ??

lavender and honey !! or anything florally !!

thank you so much for asking me stuff 😌sorry it took so long dear !!

[skeletxnqueen]

flower crown fairy lights daisies 1975 matte black nail polish pantone moodboard stars plants converse lace handwriting cactus sunrise oil paints overalls combat boots winged eyeliner pastel tattoos piercings bands messy bun cry baby grunge space white bed sheets old books beaches eyes 11:11 painting lightning thunder storms love clouds coffee marble

T H E N E V E R E N D I N G A S K (I wasn’t ignoring you, I’m gonna be honest, I forgot this was sitting in my drafts waiting to be completed aaaaa)

flower crown: when did you last sing to yourself? - A few minutes ago. I left my iPod in my co-worker’s car so I kinda have nothing better to do. All my favorite apps are on there.

fairy lights: if a crystal ball could tell you the truth about anything, what would you want to know? - Are alternate universes real and is there one where I am content and happy? (sorry to get depressing there bud but life just ain’t what I want it to be rn)

daisies: what is the greatest accomplishment of your life? - I haven’t experienced enough things to  really say I’ve accomplished anything. I guess getting a job and keeping it for as long as I have? Six months and counting.

1975: what is the first happy memory that comes to mind, recent or otherwise? - Seeing a gif of a kitten walking over to a camera man and then proceeding to nap on him and walk all over his shoulders and sit on his head while he had to hold almost completely still.

matte: if you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living? - This question as me depressed and low key anxious I don’t think I can answer it without crying sorry

black nail polish: do you have a bucket list? if so, what are the top three things? - Not really. I try to avoid really confronting my own mortality. Thinking about dying both scares and tempts me and it’s really weird and terrifying and no bueno. Gosh my answers seem so depressing I’m sorry bab aaAAAA

pantone: describe a person close to your life in detail. - I’m too lazy to describe anyone again but um my brother c’: Again. Heckie

moodboard: do you feel you had a happy childhood? - I suppose. I mean it definitely could have been better, but it’s not really on “tragic backstory” level so I guess yeah. I dunno how to answer this, in all honesty.

stars: when did you last cry in front of another person? - Earlier tonight

plants: pick a person to stargaze with you and explain why you picked them. - My friend Antonio. He’s weird but he loves space and it’s nice to hear how excited he gets talking about the stars and planets because he’s super passionate about it. I just like when my friends are happy ya know? So I know stargazing with my space buddy would be fun.

converse: would you ever have a deep conversation with a stranger and open up to them? - Honestly I have before. I don’t mean for it to, but sometimes the conversations just take that direction. I’m a big oversharer.

lace: when was your last 3am conversation with someone, and who were they to you? - fam I’m always up at 3am wym I stay talkin to ppl at 3am (for the record it’s usually my mom and/or brother)

handwriting: if you were about to die, and you could only say one more sentence to one person, what would you say and to whom? - Again, I can’t answer this without crying I’m sorry.

cactus: what is your opinion on brown eyes? - I have them and I love them why is this up for discussion why is this a question is there brown eye discourse???

sunrise: pick a quote and describe what it means to you personally. - “I don’t care what you think, as long as it’s about me.” …….. I really like attention. More seriously though, I like knowing that I’m real to other people. I know it sounds weird but sometimes I just like being reminded that I actually exist in other people’s lives and that I’m a real person???? Idk how to describe it but yeah. That line makes me think about that aspect of myself a lot.

oil paints: what would you title the autobiography of your life so far? - “Still Figuring It Out”

overalls: what would you do with one billion dollars? - cry because I can finally get my family out of our rough situation, spoil my mom and brother rotten, buy lots of pretty makeup, travel the world, and still have enough left over to live comfortably for the rest of my life without ever having to work again unless I want to to have something to do.

combat boots: are you a very forgiving person? do you like being this way? - I am. Sometimes too much for my own good. Sometimes I like it just cause it can help settle conflicts quicker and sometimes I don’t because not only do I let toxic people back into my life but it causes me to miss them and desperately want them back because I convince myself “it’s in the past, it wasn’t that bad, and they’ve probably changed so I should let it go”.

winged eyeliner: write a hundred word letter to your twelve year old self. - Dear Mikii,

First of all what a weird nick-name you dork. I’m Gabby. I’m still just as much of a dork so don’t feel bad. You’re going through a weird phase in your life right now. You’re confused and probably questioning who you are. That’s not really going to stop, but it gets better. It gets easier to deal with. Eventually you’ll work for your favorite pizza place and, while it’s stressful, you’ll make cool friends and you’ll make money, and nobody will be able to tell you what you can and can’t buy. It’ll be awesome. You got this

pastel: would you describe yourself as more punk or pastel? - I guess I lean closer to the punk side. It’s kind of funny because I have the soft cute personality that you’d think would fit on a pastel type person and honestly that’s my aesthetic but style wise, I usually go for darker colors and stuff. My brother is the polar opposite. Punk personality and pastel style.

tattoos: how do you feel about tattoos and piercings? explain. - Yes. Body art is yes. I love it and I want it. If you have tattoos and/or piercings I am 75% more likely to get some kind of crush on you.

piercings: do you wear a lot of makeup? why/why not? - yes, because I like it and it’s pretty.

bands: talk about a song/band/lyric that has affected your life in some way. - I dunno if this counts much, I had to think long and hard on this one, but Crossfire by Stephen makes me think a lot about current events and police brutality and the bombings in other countries and just a bunch of sad stuff that’s going on now which I know is the point but it makes me really think about the privilege I do have compared to those who face discrimination and oppression far more harshly than I ever will and I just heckin

heck

messy bun: the world is listening. pick one sentence you would tell them. - “Prince didn’t die for this.”

cry baby: list the concerts you have been to and talk about how they make you feel. - I’ve only ever been to one and it was a local band so

grunge: who in the world would you most like to receive a letter from and what would you want it to say? - Idk man probably my dad. Not gonna go in depth but I’ll say this. I’d want a large sum of money included and a 5 page long apology letter.

space: do you have a desk/workspace and how is it organised/not organised? - nope nothing is organized and I dont have a workspace

white bed sheets: what is your night time routine? - stay up til I physically cannot hold my eyes open anymore then fall asleep

old books: what’s one thing you don’t want your parents to know? - that I’m not Christian and that I have a um…. device. Of some sort.

beaches: if you had to dye your hair how would you dye/style it and why? - Keep it red / make it redder, probably some kind of undercut or side shave

eyes: pick five people to go on an excursion with you. who would you pick and where would you go/what would you do? - 1. Alin2. Mikey3. Kaylee4. Dom5. Rose

I’d take these nerds with me as I travel the globe and try new experiences, shop cool unique things, and just live my dream life with. I’d go to the ends of the earth with these precious babies.

11:11: name three wishes and why you wish for them. - (1) Wealth. I want to pay off my mother’s college debt, buy her a nice place to stay as well as somewhere for myself, buy my brother anything his little heart desires, donate to fundraisers and charities, live my dream life, etc. (2) Clear skin. I’m pretty confident in my body shape and all, but I can’t stand my skin. Especially everywhere that isn’t my face. My shoulders have it the worst. (3) Someone willing to date me who doesn’t live thousands of miles away would be lovely. I mean I can do long distance but I just crave physical affection ya know? I dunno man I’m just lonely.

painting: what is the best halloween costume you have ever put together? if none, make one up. - Well, last year I was a dead cowgirl. I used my day of the dead makeup and wore a flannel, jeans, boots, and a cowboy hat that I got from party city. Relatively simple, but it was still fun to see little kids’ reactions and everything at work.

lightning: what’s the worst thing you’ve ever done while drunk or high? - this implies I’ve gotten drunk or high before (I’ve been kind of tipsy before but otherwise I’m fucking lame and I don’t do that stuff)

thunder: what’s one thing you would never do for one million dollars? - kill somebody (there are a few exceptions but in general ya know?)

storms: you can only listen to one song for the rest of your life, or only see one person for the rest of your life. which and why? - both of these would drive me literally insane let’s not and say we did

love: have you ever fallen in love? describe what it feels like to realize you’re in love. - I think I have. I don't know. To me it's realizing the things I'd be willing to do for that person. Just wanting to make them happy. Wanting to spoil them, see them smile, hear their stupid jokes even if they aren't funny, see all the ugly or silly faces they make, and just loving everything about them. Overcoming my biggest insecurities and discomforts for them. Realizing that there are certain things I can only see myself doing with them. When I read those couple posts I think of them, even though it's been over a year since we've been together. Hearing a certain song or artist is tainted by thoughts of them, when nothing would come to mind before I got to know them. Filling spots in my mind and heart that for years had been left vacant. Realizing that despite how much they've hurt me, I'd gladly take them back if they asked. Feeling like it was the right love at the wrong time, even though it probably wasn't the right love at all. Falling in love to me is having them lurking around every corner of my mind, the darkest shadows, the deepest trenches, even when I'm not thinking of them, they're always there. Even when I'm not thinking about them, I somehow am. I don't know if this is love or obsession, admittedly. Maybe I just need help lol

clouds: if you’re a boy, would you ever rock black nail polish? if you’re a girl, would you ever rock really really short hair? - I’d rock both and look sexy while doing it

coffee: what’s your starbucks order, and who would you trust to order for you, if anyone? - I don’t go to starbucks enough to really say

marble: what is the most important thing to you in your life right now? - my family and getting us out of the tough situation we’re in right now