#i’m surrounded by idiots

[hotwings-incorrect-quotes]

*it’s saturday morning, lov has their first day off in a while*

shigaraki: *comes to the kitchen looking for his special HANDmade bowl* have any of you dipshits seen my cereal bowl?

toga: *crunching rainbow cereals from shigaraki’s bowl* ...no

shigaraki: hey, that’s...

dabi: *enters the kitchen* are those my fucking cereals himiko?!

toga: shit. *grabs the bowl and runs for her life*

shigaraki: i’m surrounded by idiots... GIVE ME BACK MY FUCKING BOWL!

[callmefirefly]

[idoijustdontcare]

Emily: If Morgan and I were drowning, who would you save?

Rossi: You two can't swim?

Morgan: It's a hypothetical question,

Rossi! who would you save?

Rossi: my time and effort.

[shxugx]

my druid: *summons a dryad* *summons scratch* *summons fire elemental* *summons 2 ice mephits* *summons Us*

my dryad: *summons a wood woad*

halsin: *summons a water elemental*

astarion: *summons fey familiar*

shadowheart: 👁️👄👁️ ➖👄➖ 👁️👄👁️

[tamlindudley]

I’m becoming Carl from Up and you know what? I’m fine with it.

[theflagscene]

A hospital for women, that literally that was created to deal with just women’s health, that I’ve had to go to in the past as well as have group therapy held at, sent me a letter today. Me, a single, childless AFAB person with internal organs that cannot support the growth of children or produce what is needed to creative life. All of this which is in my files, none of this is a secret to the WOMAN’S HOSPITAL! And what to they send me today? An invitation to join a mother’s group, as long as I’m over 18 and have a child between the ages of 6 and 10 that has emotional issues. Because you know, as someone who is medically incapable of having children, sending me that is perfectly sane, fantastic idea!

[chasing-dreams-since-1995]

Literally me repeating myself to customers who don’t freaking listen the first time around.

[lostinrainnfall]

he’s such a joke he needs to chill😂😂😂

[ziracona]

You guys are so thick. He’s literally like ‘I have to keep them alive unlike my dead wife.’ Like yeah he’s crazy but he’s not our killer

[alovecraft]

A curse. A curse upon the house of whomever filled a ziploc bag full of batteries and left it for me.

[wrongweaponsdrawn]

The Narrator: I'm sorry. Are you telling me that you didn't even think to plead your case with them first before you asked me to brainwash the entire world?

Tippet: Well, I mean when you put it like that then-

[Narrator kicks Tippet out]

(Source: Spider Man No Way Home)

[corpusdiem-seizethedead]

Velvette: Where's the piss-baby?

Vox: Oh, he got pissed with “his star performer” again, and left through the back door.

Velvette: …We don't have a back door?

Vox: We do now

[yerekanescio]

I hate fronting with sourcemates. Who are you people

[fennshui]

Otto is SO DONE

[tracyscpd]

Kev: Can I be frank with you guys..?

Adam: No. That was Dawson. You’re David.

Kev: I wasn’t talking about call signs — I was asking if I can be frank with you ab…

Kim: You’re not changing your name. We’re still not over that fact that ‘his’ name supposedly is Jason. — Ten years, ‘Jason.’ We’ve known each other for ten f*cking years.

Jay: Get over it, ‘Kimberly.‘

Kim: Never!

Kev: Can you please let me finish my question?

Hailey: Yes. Shh you guys. Let Frank speak.

Kev: 😐

——

[jasab]