#i’ve been crying about it all night | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

cozy-the-overlord · 10 months

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What upsets me so much is that Taylor (from the stage where you can’t see most of true people in the stadium and can only barely make out individual faces on the floor) was able to tell immediately that something was wrong to the point that she was stopping the show, telling security to get water to fans, having her personal team hand out water to fans when the stadium security wasn’t doing it, and literally throwing water bottles into the crowd mid song, and yet the security in the crowd whose only job was to protect the people there acted as though they saw nothing out of the ordinary. How was the performer on stage more aware of what was happening in the crowd and doing more to help them than the people literally in the crowd who were there to help? It’s just disgusting.

#i’ve been crying about it all night #it’s just so upsetting and horrible #rest in peace ana #you deserved so so so so much better from this night #taylor swift

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flintstill · 5 months

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I don't know what it is about this lil 'stache on him, but it makes me absolutely feral

#Good God #*bites fist*#I came across this pic a couple of days ago #and have not been able to stop thinking about it #like the Phileas 'stache always did it for me #but I thought part of it came from the waistcoats and period dress? and wet cat nature?#none of that here.. and yet... this pic is significantly more powerful #this window of the month is not helping matters #HNNNNG #ok backing away #David Tennant's moustache #come yell at me about it #David Tennant #i also didn't sleep much last night so cut me some slack #Phileas Fogg #thirstposting #screaming crying throwing up #etc #also does he have v mild hetetochromia? or is it just the lighting and/or me?#I apparently saved this in my drafts #yesterday evening #I’ve since had some spearmint tea and calmed down #(it’s all still true)#whatever—send it #no tag editing we die like men

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regular-lord-reckoner · 2 months

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i’m home !!

procedure went real well, everything was really smooth and almost as soon as they said, “you can count backwards if you want,” i don’t think i even said ten before i was suddenly in recovery and sipping some ginger ale.

honestly the worst part was the iv because they had to do it on the side of my wrist because apparently my veins are crooked ?? i just hate ivs anyway so that’s no surprise but other than that no complaints.

everyone was real nice and made sure i was well taken care of (my nurse even had me pee one more time before so she wouldn’t have to do a catheter which with my history…..thank you)

but yeah, i’ll have a follow up in about a month just to make sure everything’s good and the iud is doing its thing !!

i do have some cramping and bleeding but that’s normal, although a little funny because i literally just stopped my period yesterday but…oh well !! hopefully in a few months i won’t have hardly any so this we can handle and i hace some medicine (and my ~medicine) that’ll help so i’m all set.

mom had to go run some errands so my little recovery buddy is keeping me company. also, a moment of recognition for my new favorite shirt (thank you as always, Boss Dog Art; i’ve already got my eye on another one that says, “i think therefore i am against transphobia around the world” or something like that and it’s got a cool skeleton on it; this is my third shirt from them and they’re really comfy and good quality so not sponsored but check them out, they seem cool):

#It’s been a rough week leading up to this i’m not gonna lie #one of my neighbors was shooting on Sunday when i was in the pool #which i’m used to at this point #but for some reason i got triggered into a panic attack #and could not catch my breath #could not calm down for several minutes just scream crying #had to dunk my head underwater a few times and splash myself in the face #eventually i just buried my face in my towel and screamed cried until i physically had to stop #because i thought i was about to have a heart attack #so that wasn’t so chill #spent the rest of the day shaking #guess you just never know when it’s gonna hit!!#another plane has hit the ptsd towers #sorry #not for nothing though but the shooting stopped so there’s that #they probably thought someone had a fuckin’ ari aster movie turned up over here #nope just a mentally unstable bitch doing her best which clearly isn’t great but what can ya do!!#it was kinda funny though because i’ve been hesitant to go back out there since #but finally yesterday i had even worked longer the day before so i could really enjoy it #it had been sunny all day #no signs of rain #i’m ready to get some exercise in because i knew it might be a while #before i can again so i was really looking forward to a nice 30 minute run #damned if it didn’t start raining as soon as i got out there #and that was fine #i still ran a little got my water weights in #but the kicker was i looked at the weather on my phone and it looked like it was going to keep raining #so i said okay let me just go take a shower and settle in for the night #it didn’t rain and the sun came back out so oh well!#but point is…today went well and i’m doing okay and things could always be worse so no worries <3

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vcrnons · 6 months

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i begggg someone be proud of me i drove an hour to work at a different hospital today and it was stress but i did it !!

#shut up j #i have been driving for 4 years. i have done airport trips. i have driven half way back down the country. i have driven distances before #but ask me to go somewhere I’ve never been and I’ll cry ! I’ll do it #but I didn’t cry today and that I think is a good reason for someone to pat my head idk #I was up all night stressing about this I can’t tell u. my stomach has been in pieces. I have been awake since 6am. but I did it !!!!!!#I did it :)

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solace-seekers · 3 months

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screaming into the void <3

#my best friends boyfriend (who i’ve also been friends with for years) is just. not himself rn #we think it’s a manic episode but we don’t really know but it’s. terrifying lowkey #he thinks he’s genuinely jesus and that he’s conquered time and that he and my bsf are adam and eve #he’s been sending my bsf liek hundreds of texts per day since tuesday but it got really really bad and incoherent yesterday #and i woke up this morning to see multiple texts from gcs he created w me in them #and he keeps being like ‘because it’s 6:20 this is true’ and like ‘i know that at 9 pm everyone is gonna understand’#and he’ll text like 5 times then send a sc of what he just texted like that proves something but it’s all nonsense #i’m just really really concerned cause he really needs help but i don’t know how to ensure that happens cause he’s 19. not a minor #he’s just. not him rn. he’s called my bsf multiple times yesterday when he HATES calling normally #he had his band and his mom over in his apartment yesterday cause my bsf called his mom and h went to his bands show but was visibly not ok #and he saw nothing weird about it even tho he hates having ppl over normally and never without warning #and you can’t get him to see logic because everything you say he just twists around to work for him #to be clear it was not this bad when it started. when it started it seemed like normally maybe slightly out there conclusions he was drawing #but it just got worse and worse like exponential decay and really bad yesterday #he also didn’t sleep at all yesterday night and idk if he slept tonight #i know his mom took his phone at one point but he texted me and gcs w me in it starting at like 6:20 this morning #and my bsf and i and friends are on a trip out of state rn but we’re leaving today and i don’t wanna wake her up until i have to because #this is literally hell for her. but it’s just. scary. i don’t know what to do. i don’t think there’s any good options really for me rn #i want to warn ppl and try to explain he’s Not Him rn so they don’t get concerned but who knows if they’ll understand what i’m trying to say #i know it’s not the end of the world but it really feels like the end of my world as i know it if that makes sense #and my bsf lives with him in an apartment near their college and they just signed the lease for the next year #but she can’t stay there with him alone. not until he gets help. we’re all too scared it’s going in the directon where he thinks it’s better #for ppl to go to the afterlife. which like he never would normally. but he’s Not Him and so like. who knows #he keeps talking about all these different dimensions and how you need to travel to the 7th dimension to understand #my bsf was crying yesterday and she called her mom to explain and she keeps saying that she just wants her jake back it’s really scary #cause he will probably never be the same again. he’ll be similar but different but she wants his comfort but he’s Not Him. and can’t give it #i just. really want this to get better but it’s so hard to see that happening rn

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salsflore · 3 months

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#cw negative #cw suicidality #cw vent #last night was the lowest i’ve ever been in a while . it truly is something else isn’t it #though i’ve been plagued by Those kind of thoughts for a while now i know i don’t truly want to die #more like take a very long nap and be woken up when it’s all over and i don’t have to constantly feel this way anymore #despite everything i am still hopeful for the distant future . i know i will probably cry over uni assignments and maybe fret over-#-workplace drama . but then i will have friends to meet for coffee and money to buy the silly things i want #so i have to look forward to that or else #carrying a level of hurt with me that makes it feel like my bones are being dissolved in acid #constantly waking up and wondering what i did to deserve it. feeling embarrassed‚ too #i want to wipe away those memories . and stop hurting myself nightly #genuinely when i close my eyes all i can think about is how desperate i felt and how lonely i was and then i want to claw myself apart #[ why did no one help me? ] those kind of thoughts ... i have made positive memories but i’m finding more difficulty recalling them #💭

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kavehater · 1 month

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I mean this from a social perspective not a health one : why does everything feel weird right now. Like yes I’m heartbroken about the reality of my position in the lives of my so called friends but now I just feel confused. I don’t understand why I’m not important and why I can’t change to be important to others, nor what makes a person important either.

#like okay yeah I’ve been lowkey crying in the middle of the night because of how unimportant I feel but that’s down pat now we get it #I just want to know why am I not ? like am I doing something wrong ? I could’ve sworn I’m trying my best to not be annoying frustrating and #to be there but the reality of things is that I can’t always be there given my condition #sometimes I wonder how hard it is to ask me a simple ‘are you okay’ or ‘how are you’ or god forbid that I am missed lmao pls fniesksn ignore #the last one I think that’s too much but at least the other two #I don’t want to tell people to ask me these because then it feels fake and that they’re doing it just for the sake of getting me to shut up #about it but I don’t know #dora daily #a reason why I hate insta with my whole life because it just never fails to prove how worthless I really am #like I could’ve died yk … and it’d still be the sahara desert there #anyways I like being alone a lot something I’ve found out about myself #(I hate it actually but I only like it because I cannot make myself do anything like even talking seems so very exhausting so I can manage #with the loneliness when I’m ill but I can’t cope with it when I’m even a smidge better)#sigh.#just sigh. where did I get my friends from and why does everyone seem to love their friends so much but I cannot #don’t get me wrong I talk about how much I love them to everyone and if I don’t I obsess abt them in my head but it is not reciprocated to #be honest. not at all #and that’s what makes me sad. I still love them because I love unconditionally it seems #but from a conditional viewpoint they do not cut it #and that makes me disappointed #that’s why I’d kill to be loved or heck even remotely liked the way I like others even half of that yk #I am not a good person in my eyes but I would do so much just to be liked like that I wish I knew why I’m not worth being liked only worthy #of being tolerated.

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reflectionsofgalaxies · 2 months

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posting selfies because it’s been a hot minute since i showed my face on here and i have short(er) hair now! 🍄

this was at a folk music festival on the weekend that i’ve been going to with my family since before i was a year old. i got to take a new friend this year and it was so wonderful. a beautiful day with beautiful music, art, and people.

this festival is a much smaller one and has struggled in recent years to stay afloat, it runs at a deficit essentially, and is kept going by the community and dedicated volunteers for whom it is a labour of love. i love to see the effort put in to make it a safe, welcoming, accepting atmosphere to celebrate talented (mostly local) artists. 🎶

#right at the enterance they had one of those signs that are like #‘WE BELIEVE Black Lives Matter no human is illegal Love is Love Women’s Rights are Human Rights science is real water is life’#‘and injustice anywhere is injustice everywhere’#inside the festival there were multiple Pride themed booths either set up by local queer artists as vendors #or a youth outreach program that was giving out all sorts of flags #the first performing group on the main stage in the morning added a line into one of their songs about coming together #and combating cruelty and injustice that referenced All Eyes on Rafah and several other current struggles #and the last main stage performer of the night that we stayed for sang a song called ‘Elliot’s Song’#about her trans nephew who she took in when he was kicked out by his parents and how much he opened her heart and changed her life #it made me cry and my friend bought one of her CDs and she signed it for them #all this to basically say it’s a place i’m so comfortable and something i’m so proud of #it haven’t been able to go every year of my life but it has still brought me almost two decades of joy #god i’ve been chatty the last two days #personal #my face #live local music my beloved #folk music my beloved #queer #wlw

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baura-bear · 1 year

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Crying but idk why

#vent #I’m telling myself it’s because I miss Ryan kopel??#and I guess that’s true but it sounds fucking stupid #and sexuality and gender is so confusing #and I feel like I have a million emotions and words to say and express but they’re all just trapped #and it’s all building pressure and eventually I’m just going to explode #and last night I got so drunk because I thought it would make me feel better #not better but like be able to not think about it all #but it just made me think about everything more #and then I got nauseous and I never threw up but my friends had to take care of me #it was just two of them thank god everyone else had left #but one of them i like #and I started crying and neither of them noticed because we were just outside laying in the grass #and it was sobs or anything it was just a constant stream of tears that I couldn’t stop #I’ve just been feeling weird ig #and going back to school is scaring me so much #I genuinely have no friends there and I don’t want to go back to being alone all the time #this is a lot I just needed to get it out I guess

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arionawrites · 6 months

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1. it’s my 24th birthday today, so my goal of being published by the time i’m 25 is now a one year looming monster, but i never specified what kind of published and am currently looking in various literary magazines that are recommended for writers who have yet to be published, so i’m surprisingly confident that i can make it work? and tbh even if whatever i write isn’t officially published before my 25th birthday, if i have someone in the process of being published then i’ll be happy!! no matter what though, i’m gonna try to be proud of myself for at least giving it my best shot!!

2. i honestly love that my birthday is on the ides of march because the ides of march meme shitposting is only a thing on tumblr but it also being my birthday makes it easier to like. be excited about the ides of march outside of tumblr. like even in person i can be like “it’s my birthday! i’m an ides of march babe (:” and if someone is like oh what’s that? or if they say something along the lines of oh like julius caesar? i can be like yep!! and even if it’s a small thing outside of tumblr it brings me immense enjoyment and amusement being able to bring it up off of tumblr

3. transportation situation has been very rough since june 2023 when i totalled my car, my gap insurance are being assholes and i ended up putting my foot down on the phone with them yesterday which i’m pretty proud of because i am NOT a confrontational person (something i’ve been working on this past year, so seeing some improvement with my ability to hold my ground and not be a pushover yesterday was very cool!!) i was told i’d get a response from them by friday next week no matter what, and if i don’t then friday of next week i will continue to wreak havoc upon them. but my moms car which i’ve been using since my accident broke down yesterday, hopefully it’s fixable but my parents were saying it might be done for, so trying to think of how i’m gonna get to work next week is kind of stressing me out lmao, but for now i’m just gonna focus on enjoying my birthday the best i can because i don’t want to start off being 24 with an overwhelming anxiety for something that won’t be a potential issue until monday. plus i already messaged my boss today to let her know that i’m going to do everything i can to make it work out but just so she’s in the loop and knows of the potential of me not being able to make my morning shifts (one of my coworkers said she’s more than happy to give me a ride for our afternoon shifts which does help relieve some of the stress!) and i told her i’d let her know for sure sunday so that if necessary she can have time to figure out someone to fill in for me in the mornings!

overall: life is weird and i ended being 23 yesterday with a shitty situation but a positive outlook and i am going to enjoy my first day of being 24 no matter what because honestly i fucking earned it. happy friday everyone, i hope it’s a good day for you and me both!