#I’ve just been feeling weird ig
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Crying but idk why
#vent#I’m telling myself it’s because I miss Ryan kopel??#and I guess that’s true but it sounds fucking stupid#and sexuality and gender is so confusing#and I feel like I have a million emotions and words to say and express but they’re all just trapped#and it’s all building pressure and eventually I’m just going to explode#and last night I got so drunk because I thought it would make me feel better#not better but like be able to not think about it all#but it just made me think about everything more#and then I got nauseous and I never threw up but my friends had to take care of me#it was just two of them thank god everyone else had left#but one of them i like#and I started crying and neither of them noticed because we were just outside laying in the grass#and it was sobs or anything it was just a constant stream of tears that I couldn’t stop#I’ve just been feeling weird ig#and going back to school is scaring me so much#I genuinely have no friends there and I don’t want to go back to being alone all the time#this is a lot I just needed to get it out I guess
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hmmmm
#feeling very. Hm.#idk like#Tired to my bones rn#and some of it is fandom and some of it is Life#but i think i’m gonna turn anons off for a little while#bc i’ve liked some of the interactions lately but some of them have also been……#well yk#i’ve deleted a number of them too bc i just don’t have the patience#but like i’m overwhelmed enough as it is with life#i don’t feel like coming on here and being overwhelmed with weirdness or downright meanness too#so yeah#idk i’m just feeling Emotional and Tired#so if you try to send anons and find you can’t sorry ig#just haven’t felt Great about the way people have been talking to me#or treating talking to me as a means to use me for shit either bc that’s also happened in the last few days :)#so yeah that’s all#shut up kay#maybe deleting this later idk
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#it’s so weird how u can just feel two extremes and both r just so real#like often ill feel so suicidal and angry and upset etc but then other times I just feel so hopeful for the future and happy w my group#of friends#n both can b true but I just kinda get scared of when I feel rlly depressed n stuff bc it just feels so unbearable#n I just feel so out of control#idk last week was a p good week while socially exhausted#it was acc good to socialise and have fun etc#but idk I get my ups and downs so frequent idk if it’s normal to feel this way#but while im ill I’ve got an interview for college on Friday#trying again idk if ill even get in tbh#and im probably gonna drop out lollllll lit dropped out 4 times already#n every year I try but I’ve been out of work/education since late last year n I just feel I need to do something#even tho I struggle w my mental health a lot n just functioning like going outside and socialising and loads of ppl and noises it’s just#v overwhelming so idk if im just making another mistake but I picked a different course this time and it’s lower than my last so I’m hoping#they’ll give me a shot ig im worried they’re gonna judge me for dropping out so much but tht was care#and I just don’t wanna work w children / care anymore#and ive done social sciences before just the foundation level so I wanna progress#journal
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The best part about having a job that regularly involves some level of manual labor is building up so much muscle not like you’ve been to the gym and lifting weights but just toned muscle that lets people know you’re strong but in a casual way makes them wonder how
#this is a weird post I’m sorry#it’s just fun to see the physical manifestation of my hard work#a year of lugging hay bales around has some minor side effects#I am in no way buff and my muscle is not impressive#but I feel cool and in better shape than I have been in a while#I’ve never been this strong ig#kestrel calls#chitter chatter#text post
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regretting getting festival ticket. but i know i would also regret not getting it
#for different reasons#ig this is how i feel about every decision i’ve made recently#thinking about it makes me sick i’m so stressed out why did i agree to go#i need to kill myself but i can’t do that without a trigger and my dad hasn’t been shitty for a week or two#i’m just. the most unhappy i’ve been in months and there is nothing waiting for me that will make it better#i should’ve started taking meds again but i didn’t and now the prescription has expired#well. not now it’s been like 2 months#idk why maybe bc i don’t think they’d change anything maybe bc my family was weird about them#but the last time i brought this up with my mom she got angry at me for trying to blame her#like yeah shit sorry hearing you complain abt me taking medication affected the way i look at it#bc now she’s all for it but i don’t think i believe her#it’s always 'what do they even do they won’t fix you' bc i guess it never crossed her mind they aren’t meant to cure anything#but rather help manage everyday life#whatever i’ve been having trouble with sleep again too#i’m just so so fucking tired all the time and when i get home all i can do is lay down#and i fall asleep but it’s shallow and i’m just stuck barely conscious having dreams which i hate#i need to look if i can return the ticket
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♫ Kenny! And also ♫ Style <3
Bro you know my music taste and my playlists c’mon-
Okay for Kenny I battled back and forth, should I do something sad? Something Kenny like? Or other? I decided on something distinctly Kenny, and I know it’s a song you love lol
It’s got everything! Existential crisis! Death! And darkness! (And drugs) It’s perfect :)
As for Style? Well I haven’t been able to get this song out of my head when I think of them..
Stan’s point of view (again). All about being abandoned and wishing for someone to be there when you’ve broken down. Sound familiar? Being there for them but them not being there for you, yet running back to them all the same
#ask it like you mean it#eatabledogy#ask game#South Park#Kenny mccormick#style#kyle broflovski#stan marsh#also. the drug in me is you? I like to think the ‘you’ is referring to Cthulhu (in a DNA like sense. not. romantic)#it blends into my theories of Kenny#and maps. yeah it’s maroon 5 and that’s kind of weird for my tastes but. ITS SO STYLE CODED AUAGAH#PLEASE#HOW MANY TIMES HAS STAN HELPED KYLE AND. THEN GOT ABANDONED???#fuck. okay. I have so. many fEELINGS GOD#edit: I’ve been dying to make an animatic/amv or just SOMETHING FOR STYLE THATS JUST. MAPS#AUAAGHH#I don’t have the. talent or. the software tho :(#or. the patience/motivation ig
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Is it like a new tumblr thing that you have to block blogs from all your accounts to actually stop seeing them? Or is mine just being terrible?
#idk anytime an x r//////eader thing shows up in the tags I immediately just cuz they ain’t my thing#and there’s so many of them I feel like that’s the only way to halfway enjoy the tags if that’s Not your thing#and used to I just hit the block button once and ope there it goes#except now I’ve been noticing the same posts twice#and then I noticed the first time I hit block it blocks from my main and then the second time it blocks from this account?#idk ig it’s not a huge deal just like mildly annoying and idk feels like a weird thing to update#kaz rambles
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I’m so tired of people saying x character wouldn’t do something bad because they have trauma and therefor know better. Like, yes, stories making people become worse despite their past experience that should make them know better for shock value suck, but that doesn’t mean that someone having trauma automatically makes them a better person. Nobody says it out right, but it’s an implicit take I’ve seen.
It’s the ~exception~ when people do better than their families. It’s a ~choice~ that needs to be made. And a lot of stories where the bad guy had a bad childhood as an explanation for why they’re Like That are kind of cringe, but the general idea isn’t entirely unfounded. It’s just that they tend to misunderstand ~what~ about childhood trauma makes people liable to be fucked up. It’s not necessarily, “I was bullied as a kid so now I’m going to kill every one I perceive as a bully.” It’s much more likely, “I was bullied as a kid and therefor think it’s okay to bully people. It didn’t hurt ~me.~” Except it did.
#phoebeposting#people will say shit like Jason Todd being born into poverty automatically means he’ll be a leftist chad#even when like… getting the chance he got would’ve been equally liable to make him think that everyone could do that.#or it stopped being a concern#and like. idk. it seems stupid to ignore the fact that people who have suffered for unfair reasons can repeat that?#people will be dumb ig#this isn’t necessarily me saying that ~should~ be the case for Jason don’t get me wrong#i don’t super care#I’m just saying its ~such~ a weird line of reasoning#I’ve seen it for Steph too#about her being a survivor of sa as a rebuttal to people bringing up times where she kissed Tim in ways that were a bit assault-y#but like.#that’s a whole mess that I can’t work my feelings out through tumblr tags#narratives are written by people
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long time no post I don’t even have time to vent anymore I’m just . So busy. Like chaos absolute chaos the past few weeks I’m stressed out my freaking marbles. And then they got our boy Colin yesterday !! They fucked his shit up!! Uli and I were kinda worried bc he hadn’t stopped by to check his plants u know he’s like pretty much always there at the house. and it turns out he was in the hospital like wtfffff literally the day I make him stupid gluten free banana bread he got jumped by a group of guys and they like literally beat him to a pulp and left him on the side of the road wtfffff no !!!! Not our little guy!!! he needs to start carrying something to protect himself that’s so scary like if u saw his poor face. They like fractured his skull or some shit for what. For 2 ounces. He went to high school with these guys. Like I was so shocked when uli told me like no way. Anyway we’re all furious we’re going to go out and slash their tires and key their trucks n shit. Stupid ass redneck idiots. Deserve to have their faces beaten to shit like what they did to our buddy just ugh that makes me so mad
#people are such scumbags like even if u think u know someone u don’t#there are no friends in the drug game.#anyway I’m struggling to balance my new job and also getting packed up and moved out like I have 1 week basically#I’ll be at San Japan when I’m supposed to give the keys to the landlord so ig I’ll make uli do it#Colin was supposed to help me move but I’m thinking he needs to sit this one out well be fine without him#maybe we can get josh to help#ugh just . stress#we’re going to the state fair this weekend tho so maybe I can just kinda. relax a little#just chill out for a bit#I’ve been so tightly wound for so long like I feel all the stress in my shoulders and neck like AGGHHHHH#honestly I’m not excited for state fair kinda like . bc uli’s friends are coming and Felipe is too#so that’ll be like my first time actually hanging out with Felipe which is so weird#considering he’s uli’s roommate like you think I’d interact with him more often#but I feel like he haTES me like I feel like he’s literally been avoiding me since uli and I met#plus he’s walked in on us having sex twice in the past week so now I can’t even look him in the face I’m just like 😶#uli’s like “’yeah he’ll probably only joke abt it once or twice’#and I’m like NOOOO HE BETTER NOT not even once please for the love of god#not in front of all his friends he better noT that’s so embarrassing#that’s so embarrassing after the second time I was like no no I cannot be in this house anymore I can’t show my face here ever again#whatever man i got bigger fish to fry here like I have other things to worry about ugh forget abt it forget about it#tess talks
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uh-oh! *becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy*
#having a bad night lmao#feeling v weird about myself#and like pathetic#just a lot of shame in general methinks#esp about my love life#bc i have never had the relationship i thought i would when i was a teenager#and now i’m five years from thirty having never so much as held hands with a man#let alone anything more intimate#which then fuels my fear of /being/ intimate bc i’m inexperienced#but then i also feel too picky ??#like my entire life i always felt like i knew what kind of man i’d end up with#(which feels like a weird fantasy in of itself like is this genuine or was this planted in my brain when i was young)#and i’ve been holding out ?? ig ?? for this person to just magically come along#idk !!!!#i also cannot afford to live by myself and my mom is fkn miserable and the state she and my dad dragged us to#but if we move idk what I’d do for work without getting my masters#which i haven’t started#and did i mention I’m five years to thirty !!!#like AHHHHHHG#lou.txt
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i reallyyy need to tell my gf abt my Former Self or im just neva gonna stop thinking about it
#ofc i’ve changed thru the years but i feel like this recent change has been the biggest#i feel like a whole new person#not really but in a way#i actually do think it’s largely bc i haven’t gone thru a major It phase in a while#so i haven’t been talking abt It… which means she hardly knows abt my special interest… which is SO WEIRD#bc although i haven’t been too interested in it lately#i feel like it’s still such a core part of who i am#i just never feel compelled to actually talk about said Former Self ig lol#until i start getting the midnight existential thoughts#ghost rants
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i’m going to have to face the terrors (going to a doctors appointment)
#i’ve been feeling so fatigued lately#and i keep feeling dizzy/getting vertigo#it’s so weird bc now that i’ve left retail i’m not sleeping into the afternoon anymore#i’m finally waking up at a normal time but i feel as tired as ever#i don’t what’s happening so i just gotta bite the bullet and go to the doctors ig 😭#makilah.txt
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i think they must’ve put extra meth in the adhd meds i took yesterday and today
#ive been taking them for months now why is it that im only getting this weird burst of energy and productivity now?#like 4 months i think by now or 5#my stomach feels like it does after drinking like 3 cups of coffee#ive been procrastinating an english task for almost 5 weeks now and yesterday i just finished#well i almost finished it i just need to record some audio which i’ve been trying to do but i think it needs to be 3 minutes long#and i cant get any shorter than maybe 7#i think my teacher only said that in class tho bc looking at the task sheet im not seeing shit abt that#hopefully she just meant 3min long minimum#i started writing a script of what to say to make it shorter so ill probably still finish that just to cut out any awkward pauses and shit#its says that what u say should be 600 words long which seems like it’d take longer than 3min to say#so at least now ig i can check to see how many words ive been saying bc im basically just writing down what ive been saying in my multiple#attempts at recording the audio#im a surprisingly good speaker and id say im p good at annotating and formatting too#my ppt doesn’t look hideous anyways#neither does the poster i made/annotated#that i had to crop to exclude the text i wrote on the sides in colours matching rhe highlighting colours i used -_-#mecore
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i used to almost befriend a lot of people but only as a younger kid and idk if it’s just my experience but girls have such a habit of collectively ignoring you and then getting confused and kind of grossed out if you ever end up having extended interactions with a boy instead
#they asked me about it and I basically told them nobody else hung out with me and they were like. we would!!#and I think they were being genuine about it. like honestly I don’t think they were being malicious or anything#but I also knew it wasn’t true because they ended up telling me they knew each other for longer so don’t be mad if we don’t talk to you#then just sort of left me on the playground on my own#this isn’t to say that boys r any better honestly they had patterns of their own#especially around middle school when I stopped trying to intermingle with people altogether#we’d talk for a while and it was fine#but I have never been very charismatic or attractive#and I was always too quiet and girly to be like. One of the Boys. yk.#so they’d get weirded out by other people thinking we were together and stop talking to me#didn’t really matter at the time because none of them were close. like acquaintances on the edge of friends at best#but looking back this was definitely a pattern#granted one of them did ask me out on a dare a year later while apologizing the whole time 😭😭 first time that ever happened to me#no hard feelings though *** if ur out there.. hope u grew out of that though#anyway this post got away from me. just stuff that I’ve never thought about til now but is glaringly obvious in hindsight#it’s upsetting ig but I can’t say I’m like. mad#it’s not anyones fault I’m like. the way I am. yk. no one’s obligated to put up w that#not even really in a self deprecating way it’s just like. I’m awkward and annoying and I always clashed w new people. fact of life#plus kids like. suck. and I’m no exception#idk them as people now and I think it’s for the best#still though I mean. i can wish it had gone differently#if they were different or if I was. but they weren’t and I wasn’t so here we are#dottxt
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SNOOZE — oscar piastri
summary. in which, everyone finally meets oscar’s new girlfriend—who happens to be a ballerina—but the history takes on a whole new meaning. (part four)
genre. smau
previous ↺ next
liked by yourbestfriend, alex_albon and many others…
yourusername what the pink bear said
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user i feel so bad bro
user MEN R TRASH PROPAGANDA
user it’s not world war 2 for propaganda but do your thing i guess
landonorris you still have to teach me some ballerina moves !!!!!!
lilymhe brunch at mine?
charlesleclerc I bought croissants
user STOP THEY ARE SO CUTE
user not the paddock people trying to comfort yourname ☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️
user it was obvious that the two of them wouldn’t last 😂
user bro stfu nobody asked
danielricciardo It’s been a while since you came, we miss you Lord Farquaad
user yourname not answering to any of oscar’s friends’ comments is so heartbreaking 💔
user oscar-lily relationship is way better anyway 🤷♀️
oscar baby — 5days ago
[Your name] please don’t tell me you’re believing this
You know damn well I would never do that to you
Never
Please can we just talk about it ? Or just let me explain myself ?
I don’t want you to believe that something might have happened with her
I know it might looks weird but I swear to you that nothing happened
I wouldn’t do this to you
I love you too much
So much that it hurts
Please don’t believe whatever the people are saying
delivered
oscar baby — 4days ago
I tried to come over but I guess you’re out somewhere
I’ve left Chinese takeout and tulips in front of your door
Please answer me
I’ll try to come again tonight
I need you to hear me out please
I know you might be upset and I fully understand you
But please
Just let me explain the situation
delivered
oscar baby — 3days ago
You weren’t there last night
Or you’re just avoiding me
I don’t know
I just want you to hear me out
If you don’t want me in your apartment I’ll fully understand
We can even meet at your favorite cafe if you want
Or even in your stairwell
Wherever you want
I just need you
I need to see you
To know that you’re okay
delivered
oscar baby — 2days ago
You’re still not answering me
I’m literally just hoping you’re doing well
I always have to remember you to drink and eat
So I hope you do
If you’re not I can bring you food
Left it at your front door and go if you still don’t want to see me
I love you
And I miss you
delivered
oscar baby — 1day ago
Literally everyone hates me rn
Lando tried to kill me at practice and Charles, Alex and Daniel chase me every time I make an apparition
Alex’s gf and Kika are giving me side eyes
I explained to them the situation and why Lily and I were walking together
They don’t hate me anymore but I guess I will become their friend again when we’re getting back together
I don’t even know if we’re still together
I’m praying that we are
In my head we are
Just know that I love you
delivered
oscar day — 1hour ago
I just saw your ig post
I’m sorry
So fucking sorry
seen
yourusername posted new stories ! 1hour ago…
oscar baby — 4hours ago
Just saw your ig post
I’m sorry
So fucking sorry
seen
oscar baby — 1hour ago
I know that you’re out with your girls tonight
Be careful please
Call me if anything happens
I’ll be awake
seen
© eatingaburrito
#f1 x reader#oscar piastri x reader#oscar piastri fluff#oscar piastri smau#oscar piastri x you#oscar piastri imagine#oscar piastri#lando norris#charles leclerc#alex albon#daniel ricciardo#f1 smau#f1 fluff#f1 imagine#f1 fic#f1 fanfic#fluff
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instagram j.b.
summary: follow along with joe and his girlfriend evie as they go through his football career.
*this was originally a yn fic but i changed it around*
*face claim is Yasmin Quintana*
breezyevie
liked by sam_hubbard_, joeyb_9, millyg, and 89,736 others
breezyevie: i’d follow you anywhere jb. 🐯💜
view all 2,363 comments…
user: geaux tigers!
user: king burrow
joeyb_9: i love having you visit, it doesn’t feel like home without you.
> breezyevie: are you saying i’m your home? swoon.
user: your boyfriend is a smoke show
> breezyevie: tell me something i don’t know lol. 🥵
millyg: ohio misses you, come home.
> breezyevie: are you sure it’s just not you that misses me mills?
user: geaux joe joe!
user: pulling for the tigers today!
user: this relationship will last no time outside of that ohio bubble. see ya later.
> breezyevie: i love to see so many people cheering for us.
joeyb_9
liked by breezyevie, hichasestokes, lsufootball, and 28,737 others
joeyb_9: I saw an alligator the other day.
view all 900 comments…
user: okayyyy hottie
user: yeah bro i see you shining
breezyevie: weird flex.
> joeyb_9: ur jealous.
user: marry me?
> user: he’s spoken for! his gf is @breezyevie
user: i love this picture.
user: yes but did you eat it?
> breezyevie: i freaking hope not!
breezyevie
liked by joeyb_9, sam_hubbard_, lahjay10_, and 95,951 others
breezyevie: @joeyb_9 checking in with me from the field. 👍🏻
view all 845 comments…
user: how could he do my gators like that?
> breezyevie: LSU BABY!
user: #joeforheisman
> breezyevie: 🤞🏼
joeyb_9: i had to make sure you were impressed.
> breezyevie: i’m always impressed. 💗
user: fucking yum!
> breezyevie: he is isn’t he?
lahjay10_: my man
> breezyevie: OUR man.
breezyevie
liked by joeyb_9, lahjay10_, oliviarodrigo, and 357,878 others.
breezyevie: 4 years together and now I’ve been replaced by a hunk of metal. #nattys
view all 1,738 comments…
joeyb_9: I am a Champion.
> breezyevie: no time for losers.
user: #geauxtigers
> breezyevie: 4life
user: so wholesome, i can’t believe you’ve been together for 4 years already!
> breezyevie: luckiest girl in the world. 💗
user: joey b the heisman winner & national champ!
> breezyevie: hell ya he is!
breezyevie
liked by joey _9, lahjay10_, bengals, and 508,116 others.
breezyevie: i’m so proud of you jb, and i’m grateful to be on this journey with you. the last four years have been the best of my life and i can’t wait to keep cheering you on forever. from the buckeyes, to the tigers, and now onto the bengals! no matter what team you’re on, you’re still my joey. 💗 i love you forever.
lahjay10_: 🐐🐐🐐
user: it’s good to see he has someone from the beginning!
user: just the perfect couple!
bengals: Welcome to the Jungle
> breezyevie: WHO DEY!!!
user: please get married! 😩
user: so happy for joe!
joeyb_9: i’m so lucky to have you. we did the damn thing baby!
> breezyevie: hellll yesssss!
breezyevie’s ig stories:
#joe burrow#cincinnati bengals#bengals#nfl#nfl imagine#joe burrow imagine#joe burrow x reader#joe burrow instagram#joe burrow insta au#instagram au
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