#i'll make another post on that probably but yeah. that at least i've always been and i still am

[droopywrites]

did you ever did a part 2 to jjk dudes meeting their child who’s from the future?

⋆｡Part || of JJK MEN meeting their future kids｡⋆

Author's notes: I don't think I've posted it! Considering it kind of left my mind and the old draft is gone, but I did write everything I remember here. Also, it's like 3am and I wrote this crying, not proofread.

CW: Swearing, killing, cannibalism(?) like mention of eating people, children.

Pronouns used for the kids: She/her for Geto and It/its for Sukuna.

Part | (Warning, it's from 2021)

Geto

Starting off strong with Geto.

Definitely another girl. He's such a girl dad.

On a regularly scheduled day like always; it was wake up, talk with his connections, mingle with his family, check on Mimi and Nana, see whatever the hell the non-sorcerers wanted, get greeted by a little girl that wasn't supposed to be on the estate...

What the fuck.

How did she even get here? Why is she here?

Geto would stare at this child in confusion and look around, waiting for someone to claim her.

He has a soft spot for children. Sorcerers, of course. Non-sorcerers, debatable.

So, low and behold this little girl running up to him to clutch at his robes. Him trying to pry her off of him with her relieved cries of "Papa! Papa!" escaping her lips.

Papa?

Holds her by the shirt's scruff like a cat and squints, ready to scold her but pauses when he sees her face.

Because, holy shit, that's literally his twin. And suddenly every rare hookup played in his mind.

But no, she looked no older than 3. He hadn't been with anyone at that time, or ever yet. Not that far.

Drops everything for the next couple of days just to make sense of the situation, only telling his beloved family.

Mimi and Nana fawn over the idea of a little sister but are a bit restrictive if it's not a permanent thing.

The girl didn't speak much except for addressing Geto, the twins, oh and you.

You...?

You.

You.

You, who had just returned from your trip overseas to oversee some tasks involving curses.

You, who the little girl immediately ran to and called "Mama! Mama!"

You, who Geto stared wide-eyed at and surprised as you two tried to settle the fact nothing even happened between you.

Yet.

When that little girl eventually left to her own time, with everything still fresh and confusing, Geto eventually approached you.

Because, well, he wanted to see that little girl again.

After few dates, then a relationship, then marriage. Maybe.

Sukuna

Listen, he is NOT spreading those cursed genes of his pre-human/post-cursed-spirit.

Man hates love.

But, during the Heian period. When some stupid kid wandered into his life as if it always belonged there, maybe, maybe, there was something else in that space in his chest but hunger and his definition of love.

So, there it was. Whatever it was. Standing there with large eyes focused on him with a semblance of admiration and malice.

"What are you looking at, brat?"

"You."

The audacity of this thing. He killed it immediately.

And then it came back. So, he killed it again. And again. And... what the fuck.

This little shit was persistent.

His kid. He doesn't know how. But definitely his kid.

A worthy successor? Fuck no, he's not dying or leaving it as some birthright to a hindrance.

Learning of its origins was pretty interesting, to say the least.

"Not a human? I figured. A curse made from me, huh? Someone weak must hate me so much."

That meant a human parent. Or multiple human parents. Gross.

He wasn't getting into that.

The kid was though.

It often visited this village to... eat? Kill? Fight? Whatever makes it happy.

...

The hell do you mean it was visiting its human mother?

It had a mother? It had a mother that cursed him so much it resulted in a personalized cursed child?

He could see it stare longingly at that woman's village and before he could even kill her, his offspring said goodbye.

"I'll see you in the future, yeah?"

And then Sukuna was sealed.

He probably searched for his offspring in the Modern era.

Author's notes 2: Stopping with these two because it's been a while since I've posted seriously on this account, 2 years? Maybe I've gotten better, maybe not. This was the idea but with updated better minds. Maybe I'll do the others separately again, Yuji, Yuta, Megumi, Toge. Just did the adults first. Doing Choso and Higuruma definitely.

[readbyred]

may i request how the dps boys would react to realising they have a severe crush on a, preferably shy, reader! tysm <\3

Oh, I've been waiting for dps requests! Sorry for my late replies everybody, I got demotivated again because tumblr deleted a few of my x reader posts (and a few others). But I'll try to not let that happen again if I can even help it

I think Knox would have such a silly time trying to approach you. Because we all know he’s awkward, but determined at best and, well… pushy at worst. I'm trying to go with the version I saw in a play, because thankfully they cut out the party scene which means he’s still delightfully insufferable but not awful. Anyways, he would jump on every occasion to talk to you. And then just. Stand there. He’d try to give you flowers and poems, everything really. But he loses brain cells every time he’s around you. At least you’re both equally stressed about social interactions. He gets a little braver when you give him a smile or any other sign you like him. Not less awkward, but a bit more motivated to go for it. His main problem is that he can't read you well and despite being big on feelings and all, he still has a hard time actually talking to you. Clumsily, he showers you with over the top things, that most would find cringey but you think of as endearing. And if he thinks there's a chance he’ll lose you, he’ll confess right away. I think he is brave and pretty open about feelings. Just stressed out

With Neil, it's not an issue at all that you're shy. He’s more so taken aback by his own strong feelings. Because he wasn't expecting to fall this hard. But give him like five work days to process and he’ll be all in. I feel like he would take his time to confess but he’d make it known that he cares about you. He’d be checking up on you every time he can, bringing you coffee, asking to practice lines together, go to the movies in town. Even before you two start dating you just wake up and half of his sweatshirts are in your drawer (he likes to borrow you his clothes if you’re cold) and your desk is littered with poems he shared with you. He’s a gentle lover, but he knows what he wants and when the time is right Neil has no problem confessing

It's much funnier with Cameron because this boy is in panic mode 24/7. At first he legit thought he was sick because he always felt dizzy and distracted around you. And he’s a traditionalist. Everything has to be perfect when you’re around. Like he beats himself up about every little mistake he made around you. But also makes a point to treat you RIGHT. If you’re shy he might not know how to approach you at first, because he’s not sure if you’re even interested. And how to make you like him. After much teasing (mainly from Charlie, of course) he gets fed up with his friends and decides to make a move. It might not be the most romantic when he does, but it's sweet and genuine

Another one that would take time to confess is Meeks. He’s pretty quick to accept that he’s crushing on you. He’s like, yeah obviously they are amazing, now what do I do with that? He tries to give you things. Small things. Like maybe he could borrow you a book that you’ve wanted to read for a long time of buy you a coffee/tea if you’re out in the town. He doesn't explicitly say that he liked you but it's easy to tell and he’s not one to be shy about it either. So when you guys do get together, you already know his more… romantic side

On the contrary, Charlie takes time to process his feelings. He had crushes before, but real feelings (strong ones at that) aren't the norm for him. Sometimes he catches himself losing his cool around you and it messes with him so bad. He would probably ask Knox for advice. Which is a bad move. But he figures that at least his friend is more familiar with having those sorts of feelings. Nothing much comes of it because I can't imagine Knox giving him any good advice on the subject, but after he was able to talk about liking you, he decides to just go for it. Well, in small steps. Primarily because he’s just not an intense guy, but also because he’s surprisingly mature when it comes to respecting your levels of comfort. Doesn't mean it gets boring though, it's Charlie we’re talking about. Once you get together there's not a one dull moment with him by your side

With Todd, it might be difficult at first. He’s overwhelmed by fis feelings and has a tendency to talk himself out of making any sorts of moves. Why would you like somebody like him? He tells himself he doesn't have a chance, surely. It only confirms his suspicions when you don't take initiative. It's only after he’s been moping around for a few days that Neil approaches him about it and proceeds to give him shit for not doing anything to let you know his feelings. He’s like, bro, so you care about them so much that you’d rather not have them in your life because you want them in your life so much??? Make it make sense. So with Neil's encouragement, he tries to at least talk to you and see where it goes from there. Still shocked when you end up returning his feelings. You’re in his poems now, even if it's not very obvious (he's not as straightforward as Knox, so it's not ‘i love (yn) and I want them to be mine’ kind of deal). This is the only one where I'm sure you might have to make some sort of a move. Todd’s like a spider - he’s more scared than you are and if he could, he would just silently hang out in the corner of the room you’re in. But he gets a little braver after he starts feeling more secure

Lastly, Pitts is not as bad as Todd, but still takes his time. He’s comfortable with liking you and he knows what he likes, but he’s not in any rush to make things official. So any time he has any chance to talk to you, he does and just wants to see how things go from there. He jokes around with you, asks to come study together, tries to be close. He does care, just in a more chill way than some of the other poets would. If you two have been talking for some time, he would have no problem asking you to go out with him, doesn't make you feel pressured or anything. If the others are cool with it he will do his best to have you come to their meetings at night as well. So you do not only get an awesome boyfriend out of it, but also a great friend group

[divineerdrick]

Homestuck: Beyond Canon Upd8 for August 11, 2024

So I've heard we have an upd8 today! And we've got a news post too! Right off the bat, we'll have another chapter "a little later in the month." Guess I'll have to keep my ear to the ground. Not sure there's an extension out there that can determine when the team upd8s a Ren'py game attached to their website.

I haven't been able to support the Patreon for a bit, so I'm unaware of the music previews James mentions. His little spiel makes me worried he might go Grimdark at some point . . .

We've still got another collab in the works, but we don't have the details yet. And yeah, I've been experiencing heat where I live that definitely slowed me down a peg.

On to the upd8!

Holy crap! Year 4!

Even with the realizations she made before, apparently this is still really slow going.

Nanna!

Oh wow! She's literally growing up! Wherever she is, she's physically aging in what is probably real time. Here's a shot from the last blog for comparison.

Her hair and horns are both longer, she's taller in frame, her neck is longer, and her eyes and mouth sit smaller on her face. Somehow though, she's still fitting into her outfit. Wonder if they're letting her alchemize new clothes?

Oh man! We've apparently missed some reconciliation with Eridan, John, and Kanaya! I feel especially robbed about missing out on the Kanaya portion. But we all know who the "HER" is. Though it would be a hilarious fake out if it was Nepeta or Feferi!

Hah! We apparently have both Nannasprites here!

Vriska does not say no to cookies!

We get another callback to Vriska's previous adventures as she remembers talking to John about their relationships with their ancestors. But she apparently doesn't understand how humans can have family ties. At least she seems more curious about it now.

Of course Nanna would have to describe having a child as having "novelty". It's nice to see a little bit more background on this version of Jane.

Vriska just cannot get past the idea why anyone would put up with a baby given the unavoidable accidents.

Nannasprite has apparently seen everything Jane has accomplished and is, at the very least, curious how things might have turned out if she hadn't settled down.

Wow. That had to really suck. Nana never felt loved or even wanted before she settled down. That might have been why finding someone who did love her and want to start a family with her caused her to change all her plans.

This is another attitude that Vriska previously would never have considered. She was always certain she had to be best, had to surpass every expectation, and very much felt she had a destiny to fulfill. The idea that someone would just "give up" on all that and do their own thing is more alien to her than humanity itself.

Wow! Vriska was actually mindful she might have lost her cool and genuinely apologized! She is learning!

And some genuine affection here too.

Wait! That's broken Paradox Space! Is Vriska facing Game Over Terezi?

And these are Vriska's typing quirks! Wait! Does she have to come to terms with Game Over Vriska? AKA (Vriska)? Does she have to reconcile with herself?

Wait! Mindfang? Does she have to come to terms with her relationship with Mindfang? If that's the case, no wonder she's not getting anywhere. Everything else has probably been about figuring out what the other person wants. But Vriska's problem was she was always trying to live up to Mindfang, an extremely poor example and role model. In this case, she almost certainly need to stop caring about what Mindfang might want.

Oh! It's not Mindfang! It's Vriska's idea of her, all wrapped up in her relationship with her lusus. It's basically both of Vriska's parental figures rolled into one.

She definitely needs to not give a shit about what this entity wants! While there is value in understanding who her lusus was and who Mindfang was, there is no value in engaging with them. This is all about Vriska learning how trying to live up to their needs and expectations, instead of living up to her own desires, caused her so much pain and heartache.

Heh! "Momfang."

Wow! They really are wrapped into one!

Also I can't decide if this reminds me more of the Venom symbiote or Conceptual Hair.

It is important that Vriska recognizes that these two entities were formative to her. But I really feel like that's all there is here. Understanding who they were and the impact they had on her life. The next revelation is that this doesn't need to define her.

Momfang's words echo a lot of Vriska's own thoughts and words on death and murder. Whether she, or indeed we, like it or not, Vriska does need to forgiver herself for her past. But not by accepting the violent environment as justification. She needs to understand that while she has extenuating circumstances for what she did, Vriska still did those things. She has to come to terms with that and forgive herself for it.

Vriska has learned from Vrissy! Suffering is not what makes you strong. Just as the muscles of a body builder tend to be weaker, more limited, and even useless compared to those of an athlete, suffering often comes with just as much that weakens you. Strength always has to come from within. Someone's strength who gets there through finding something or someone to be strong for is just as valid as someone who gets there through pursuit of an ambition is just as valid as someone who gets there through hardship is just as valid as, well, any path that gets you there. It's a bitter pill if you're the one who's suffered. But it is the truth.

Even on Alternia, none of this was ever fine. Even by their standards, her childhood was full of abuse and violence.

Man! The team is determined to make Momfang's twisting form as creepy as they can for mostly still images!

I don't know if Beforan Lusus could be like this, or if this quirk was part of Scratch's work. But we clearly see that some Lusus just weren't good guardians, despite coevolution. "But so are some parents!" I hear you cry! That's still different. While it's possible in the vast variety of humanity to be raised by a true monster, most abusive parents are still human. There are paths victims of abuse can take to find comfort or even peace and understanding because of this.

Vriska's "mom" is literally a spider, an animalistic predator. "HUNGRY. KILL. FUCK. EAT. FEED." On earth, even when spiders demonstrate sentience and intelligence, it is from an entirely different evolutionary path. We could not relate to the mind of a spider. And neither can Vriska.

There are many reasons why a parent may become abusive.

Vriska's was abusive because that helped it find prey.

Yep. This is not about what Momfang wants. It's about what Vriska wants. "And wasn't considering it now, to 8e clear." Again. Spider!

Huh! But that doesn't stop Vriska's image of Mindfang from being curious.

Vriska knows part of what's wrong. But as most of us know all too well, knowing what a problem is only the first step in fixing it. All you can do is try to catch yourself when "you're doing it again," while also trying to not make that become something you're constantly on guard about.

"Oh my god. Tavros was right!!!!!!!!!"

As was Nannasprite! You're supposed to learn form each of these "sessions" and use that to help with the next.

Now I'm sure that "h8r" is talking about Terezi.

We've often believed that what we read of Mindfang's journal was tame. Homesmut Mindfang is apparently canon.

No Momfang! No! You do not get to use Mayor callbacks!

"What will you do?"

Vriska knows what she wants. How does she prove it? Killing or being eaten seems like it's just more of the same. This could just be as simple as walking away.

Only way to win is not to play. It was always a false binary. There was always another option, it was just a case of seeing it.

Happy Vriska is best Vriska!

Yep! Just walk away!

Yeah, no! No hug for you!

Can't decide if I like "Gestalt of Rivia" or "Hierarchy of Arachneeds" more!

Let's not stop there though! I feel like we know enough now about how this works to start making some predictions.

So the Cueball suggests Scratch. He also played a great role in Vriska's life and actions. How Vriska needs to grow past him is trickier. Scratch was only ever using her, and I'm pretty sure Vriska knows this. Now she's dealt with Momfang, though, I don't think she'd get hung up on him. He is considerably cannier than Momfang, but this still feels like a misdirect. It could potentially lead to Rose. She's the other Hero of Light after all, and she and Vriska have both Scratch and the Cueball in common. I'm willing to bet Vriska didn't take enough advantage of Rose's presence on the meteor. This might create a scenario where she just has to learn from her fellow Hero.

Then we have a feather. This is probably the hardest to draw any conclusions from. The only character in Homestuck connected to feathers is Dave. Another potential hero to learn from. It's just hard to imagine not having to reconcile with Terezi, and I'm pretty sure she's not the 8ball. But I also can't think of how the feather connects her to . . .

Scales! It's a bit of a reach, but scales and feathers do have a connection. Also, why would Vriska have a feather? Maybe it's a quill that she used in her FLARPing days? Either way, I'm gonna say the feather is Terezi. Mostly because it's what I want.

The 8ball will be (Vriska). Vriska needs to come to terms with her Game Over self. She needs to realize that it not only was she wrong to look down on her, but that (Vriska) was always right to just look for happiness. (Vriska) was always valid and deserves to lose those parenthesis. Even if they are really convenient.

[keets-writing-corner]

Alright everyone, buckle up and sit down. I was talking with @nerdasaurus1200 on another post and came to the conclusion that I need to write Sera meta so let's freaking GO

I'm mostly gonna be talking about Sera, what we know about her so far, and what makes her tick (aka her fears) and why she's not a bitch/asshole the way apparently so many people like to portray her? (I've mostly just been hanging out with fan art and headcanons specifically about Lucifer in the fandom so I haven't seen these specifically, but someone approached me about how they liked m portrayal of Sera in my fic which was NOT that of an asshole and apparently multiple people are portraying her that way? Idk I haven't seen any but uh yeah let's talk SERA)

Characters are always the most important part of a story, and even if they're not a main character and/or the audience nor the writer know what they want/need, the writer at the very least needs to know How and Why a character makes decisions, instead of just "oh they're an asshole" So let's do that for Sera. Why is she making the decisions she's making? LETS GO

Let's start off by talking about what we know about Sera

She's at least as old as Lucifer, she was there for the creation of earth given the appearance of her silhouette in Charlie's exposition

We know that the exterminations might have been Adam's idea, but it was HER decision to approve them

We know that she's FOR SURE older than Emily

and the other thing we know for sure about her is that she is the High Seraphim (we don't know WHAT that means exactly but clearly it is a position of authority and rule)

So those are the things we know for sure:

She's about as old as Lucifer

She approved the exterminations

She's older than Emily

and she's the high Seraphim

Now I'm going to circle back to all of these points but I want to start off with her relationship with Lucifer

Unfortunately for all of us, the only thing we can say about their relationship with 100% certainty is that they for SURE know each other, either because they were essentially "coworkers" in the past, or because they're both the respective rulers of their realms (even if Sera has some people above her) and they're implied to interact with each other

(at the very least you cannot convince me otherwise that they don't interact. Someone had to have talked to Lucifer about the exterminations for him to have had "approved it" and we know it wasn't Adam because Lucifer hadn't seen Adam since he fell to hell until the finale, and we know that Sera was not only the one to approve said exterminations but also decreed that no one else in heaven know about them. She clearly must have spoken to Lucifer about it because there's nobody else left who had the authority to do that AND knew about them)

So at the very least in present day Sera and Lucifer have some sort of professional relationship as leaders. And I'll come back to this because it's implied that this relationship isn't a very good one, but first let's talk about the past

full stop, we have NO IDEA what sort of relationship Sera and Lucifer might have had when he was still in heaven. But here's the thing, even if their relation was strictly "yeah I know them cuz I work with them, but that's as far as it goes" Lucifer's fall STILL would have been horrifying for Sera to witness. He was the same rank as her, probably no other angel except the elders likely ranked higher, and they still banished him. Charlie's storybook leaves it at that, but Lucifer implies it was violent in his debut episode.

trauma is a funny thing when you think about it, you're just as likely to develop trauma by watching someone else be assaulted as you are for you to have been assaulted. And Sera was there, she likely saw the whole thing happen. So not only did Sera watch how brutal the elders could be to someone who questioned and disobeyed the order, but the fact that it was done to LUCIFER someone of equal rank and authority as her means that absolutely NOBODY is safe from the elders

and this is without taking into account that on some level, she and Lucifer had to have been close. There are no other seraphim in heaven besides her, the elders (who appear to be rather hands off and uninvolved) and Emily. Emily was likely created as a replacement for Lucifer, so at the time, it was basically just her and Lucifer as the only seraphim up there. They not only worked closely together, they likely had a close bond as well. Now I have my own head canon preferences as to what kind of bond, BUT let's ignore that and look at 3 options (although there are likely more, but huuu this post is gonna be long already so let's not push it yeah? )

option 1: equal peers. You are Sera and you've known Lucifer all your life. You two have "grown up" together, learned about the world and your powers together. You're comrades in arms! You know all of each other's secrets! You lean on each other for support as you lead heaven together. You work together all the time. Sure, he can be a little excitable at times but it's so much FUN right? This guy could be your bestie/brother. And you sit back and watch as the only ones with more authority than you, skewer him and banish him to hell for having questioned the order and now there's a metaphorical spear against your back at all times because you know it could have been you instead, and it could still be you if you don't behave

Option 2: Lucifer is your mentor. He's taught you everything you know. The ropes, your powers, the world. He's fantastic! You admire him greatly. He has such energy you could never hope to match. You put him on a pedestal, and in one fell swoop the only people he answers to destroy your mentor in front of you. You are now alone, without any more advice or guidance other than a warning to not step out of line as your mentor once did

Option 3: Lucifer is your apprentice. He's adorable! A little over enthusiastic but who doesn't love someone who's passionate about the things they like? He brings a wonderful energy and vibe, and... he's your responsibility. You try to reign in his wild energy only for the elders to step in and banish him because you failed him and now you know that the elders could do that to you too

So, I'll be honest, option 3 is NOT the one I'm biased towards, but if it ends up being that one, it would make Sera's behavior towards Emily extra heartbreaking. She already failed one apprentice, she will not fail another one, right?

Either way, Sera is terrified of going against the elders because of what they did to Lucifer in spite of his rank. She knows first hand how harsh they can be and because of that, she will do everything in her power to make sure nobody around her falls into the same fate. No one will ever question the elders again, and she will lie and withhold information to make sure that happens

And we're just talking about the INITIAL banishment.

Now why would Sera bring this up, unless what she was most afraid of wasn't even the initial banishment, but of the suffering she clearly knows comes afterwards? And why would she care or even know about the suffering? Well, if it's true that she and Lucifer were close, then regardless if she was spying on him or not the way we know heaven can do, she still watched a cute enthusiastic little angel go from this:

to this

all because because he suffered.

She watched him question, get banished, suffer, and change into someone she didn't recognize, in real time. And the worst part is, she's not only scared of what happened TO him, she's personally scared OF him and what he's become. He might be fallen, but he's still a powerful angel

And this segways into another bullet: she approved the exterminations, but WHY

Charlie's intro implies it was as some sort of punishment towards Lilith who was rallying the demons and they felt threatened

But clearly there's more to this

So first thing I'd like to point out, Sera doesn't look happy about this decision. She mentions as much in the song "You didn't Know" when she outright tells Emily "It was such a hard decision" and earlier in the same episode she outright tells Adam she wouldn't have approved of this if she had known it'd make things "worse"

But this is incomplete. Something doesn't make sense. Sera clearly meets with Lucifer for certain matters as previously established, and Lucifer, in spite of his initial trauma "NO CHARLIE DO NOT TALK TO HEAVEN" knee jerk reaction, never doubted that he COULD in fact get her a meeting with heaven. He outright tells her at the end of episode 5

He never says, "I'll try to get the meeting". He says straight up, I can do this. There isn't a doubt in his mind that he can get this meeting. He knows Sera will meet with him/take his call (idk how he contacts heaven) and will agree to the meeting. We don't really know WHY Sera agreed to this if she thought it was a bad idea and never really intended to entertain the idea to begin with, going as far as to tell Adam to rig the results and calling Charlie misguided. So what's up? Why on earth would she agree to it? Well...?

Sera is scared of the demons of hell, hence why she approved the exterminations, but she's even MORE scared of Lucifer and folded to his request. (or idk maybe there's more going on here and she feels guilt about what happened to him so she folds to him sometimes idk, but for the sake of this meta, SHE'S SCARED OF HIM)

but here's what's kinda weird. Charlie's storybook only mentions LILITH'S involvement with the demons rising in power, not Lucifer. Sera later claims that they were uprising to Emily as the reason she's scared of them and that it's her job to keep everyone safe.

Clearly SOMETHING happened between the creation of Hell and the exterminations being approved that involved BOTH the sinners AND Lucifer that made Sera scared of both. Sera doesn't seem the type to fear without reason. She fears questioning the order because that incurs the elders' wrath. She fears the elders because of what they did to Lucifer. She fears angels falling because she saw how much it hurt Lucifer. Sera is not the type to fear randomly. Clearly there is some sort of thing that happened that made it clear to Sera that Lucifer is to be feared enough to fold to his requests and that the sinners are dangerous enough that it justifies genocide.

And now to bring back the whole Sera is older than Emily. Emily didn't know this otherwise Sera wouldn't have needed to tell her. AKA Emily wasn't even around when said conflict happened. Sera not only had to go through something that clearly traumatized her to the point where she agreed that genocide was a reasonable response, but she had to go through that ALONE. Trauma is hard enough to deal with, but to have to navigate it alone really gives it some steroids it has no business in having

This genuinely makes me wonder how long the exterminations have to have been taking place. It probably took a WHILE for hell to gather up enough numbers that they started making buildings by the look of Charlie's storybook, AND THEN did something against heaven, so this was not happening from day one of hell, far from it. And this also makes me wonder how old exactly is Emily? She strikes me as extremely young

season 2 come out please, I'm working from CRUMBS here, there is so much we don't know

But yeah, all of this to say, Sera isn't just some alpha bitch who's prejudiced against demons (not to say there isn't bias there, there ABSOLUTELY is, ugh) but at her core, she's a leader who underwent a lot of trauma and she's full of fear and she makes decisions, rational, moral or not, based off of that fear. And yeah unfortunately, fear, especially trauma based fear, messes with us in ways we never would expect

a kind man may suddenly resort to violence. The confident argumentative person, may instead end up frozen. Someone who thought they valued their family all their life instead runs away. We may regret what we do in moments in fear, we might even logically know that we're making bad decisions, or decisions that go against our morals. Sera CLEARLY hates that she made the decision to approve extermination, but she holds onto it steadfast because it alleviates the fear

Funnily enough, I don't particularly LIKE Sera. I dislike her microaggressions towards Charlie and her attempts to sabotage her efforts at the meeting by calling upon Adam. But as a writer, looking at the clues I got to say she's a very interesting character to me. She seems like a reasonable authority figure, but she's so full of trauma that she's letting her fear make all of her decisions for her

[greatprotector-if]

Hi everyone! It's been a while and I hope you're all doing well :] I have realized that 99.99% of you are not on my personal Tumblr so I should probably update here too. Hey! Hi!

Going to start off by saying that no, The Great Protector has not been abandoned! I am still working on it!

Details under cut. A little ranty, sorry HAHA

So yes, I am still working on TGP! But no, I have nothing to show for all the months I've been gone.

Essentially the plot got way out of hand and in the end it was so messy I felt it would be faster to just start from scratch instead of trying to prune all the unnecessary parts. It was that bad.

I'm currently making my way through the new outline slowly but surely — but I know this isn't the update you all wanted. I literally have less than I had before... haha... and after all these years I completely understand that this is disappointing for all of you, and I'm really sorry about that.

I think I'll always regret putting up that initial intro post for this game as early into production as I did. While the community has been wonderful and I appreciate so much all the support I've received, it's also sort of paralyzing to have so many eyes on you, expecting great things you aren't sure you have the means of providing!

I've sort of just been too scared to work on it because I know that nothing I make could ever satisfy all of you, and then the impostor syndrome in me is telling me that means nothing I do will ever be good enough. Yeah. Brain. Funny guy, the brain.

If I had a time machine I'd go back and force past me not to post jack shit on the internet until he had at least a full chapter written and coded, but alas! Hindsight is 20/20 and all that.

But taking this time away from the blog and restarting the story from scratch has made the pressure feel a lot less intense. I really, really do appreciate everyone who's shown interest in my silly little project so far, but I will likely continue on with my break away from this blog until I have an actual demo. It makes me feel guilty to post here with my hands empty haha

I have no idea how long it will be until said actual demo is ready, but I sure hope it won't take another multiple years!

Again, I'm sorry about how this has gone. The next time I post something on this blog, it'll probably be less depressing I promise 🙌

With love,

Cassian

[lookninjas]

Pick a SPOOKY Song (with only a bad description!)

It's been a while since I've done this, so hopefully my bad descriptions aren't that terrible.

Same rules as always. Pick a song that appeals to you based on my really bad descriptions. Some of the songs you might be able to guess what they are, others probably not so much. If you want to know what a song is and don't want to wait a week, send me an ask and I will tell you!

At the end of a week, I will take the poll results and make a playlist in that order, from the song that gets the least votes to the song that gets the most votes. Should there be ties, then I'll pick the order of those songs, but I always kind of feel like that defeats the purpose of having the poll in the first place, so please please reblog this poll. I know trying to get proper sample size on social media isn't gonna happen, and that's fine. I just don't want to have another six-way tie situation.

If you would like to be notified when the playlist is posted, please leave a comment or put it in the tags -- I will keep a list so I can @ you when the time is right.

Playlist will be posted in a week, which works out brilliantly because that's Halloween.

And that's it! See you guys in a week! (except not because I'll reblog it a few times; I always do.)

[greensagephase]

what made you wanna name the story non-violent communication?

Hiii, nonnie!! Thank you so much for the ask (and also, I'm sorry for the delayed reply! I took off tumblr yesterday)!! 🥰 Thank you for asking this question because I don't think I've ever talked about it before!!

Long story short:

THIS SONG RIGHT HERE!!!!!!!!! 🗣🗣🗣🗣 If you haven't listened to it, pls do!!😭It's one of Miguel's songs and has part of his dialogue at the end of the song before it transitions to "Givin' up (Not The One)" in the album!!! The transition is (in my humble opinion) ✨😭✨😭✨ !!!

If it has a million fans, I'm one of them. If it has one fan, I'm THAT FAN. If it has zero fans, it means I'm no longer on this Earth!!! 😤

This is my fav song from the album!! I'll explain why below the cut! I'm going to give a short (lol, I yapped too much, I gave a whole story time) explanation because I love this song sm 😭 so if you care to read a bit of an analysis on the songs, then proceed, if not, pls disregard the rest lol and thank you for sending this ask!!!

So I first heard the song a day or two before I posted the first chapter to NC, which was late July 2023. I watched the movie in June but I only listened to the songs that I really, really liked (I love all the songs but some a little more than others) that were included in the movie without listening to the full album, so I hadn't listened to this song because Miguel's songs (this one and "Givin' Up (Not The One)") are not included in the film. I only found out about "Givin' Up (Not The One)" because it was all over tiktok lol

So yeah, I listened to the song for the first time a day or two before the first chapter was posted and fun fact, the first chapter I posted for NC was actually nameless lmao!!😭😭 I didn’t know what to title it (I’ve always been bad with titles), so it was just a writing post with no title. I didn't think much of it either because my og plans were for the story to be like 3-4 chapters total (past me would've been shocked I'm still going with the story and that we're 249k ish words in just from the main parts of the story, not counting the one-shots lol).

As I mentioned, I hadn’t heard the entire album yet but after part 1 was posted, I sat down and FINALLY listened to the entire album to appreciate it (I've since then listened to the entire album like a hundred times (Metro Boomin was my #1 artist of 2023💀)) and once I listened to it in order, I immediately knew I wanted to title my fic Nonviolent Communication. 🥹❤️

When I heard both of Miguel’s songs right after the other it made something in my brain click.

I felt like it was so, so fitting for what I was trying to achieve with my story, even when I was planning to make the story like 4 chapters long lol.

So my explanation for connecting the song to my fic:

I'm probably going to sound crazy, or like someone who gave the song too much thought but hear me out.

In a way, I felt (and ofc everyone is going to find a different vibe, feeling, or meaning to a song but this was mine) like it was kind of ironic how "Nonviolent Communication" didn't receive much attention like his other song, "Givin' Up (Not The One)" did, which is more... out there (???). It's more like !!!! You know? Like the lyrics themselves and the production are more bold and strong, more “rough” for lack of a better word. Despite it not being in the film like "NC", everyone knows it! Everyone also knows Miguel's dialogue because of it, "But I'm not like the others..." and so on along with his little quote about "being Spider-Man is a sacrifice" at the end of the song.

Then, you have "Nonviolent Communication." It's the second song with the least plays on the album on Spotify (after "Nas" which is another one of my top fav songs from the album), and the lyrics and production are an entire different vibe from the other song!! It's so much more softer and vulnerable, even slower.

You let me fall first, then you dream awake I'd do anything to bring you to that other place We speak so differently alone, love like Vincent we are low Watch for constellations, soft as cloud formations That will never leave, much as duty calls If I'm in over my head, I'll swim Niagara Falls

It still has themes of being Spider-Man but it's not so !!!! like the other song is. It's truly so much more vulnerable and soft, and even has romantic themes included. And at the end of the song we have another part of Miguel's dialogue, that's often disregarded, included, "I'm this dimension's one and only, Spider-Man... At least I was," which I'm always !!!! about because one, his tone for that part is much softer (almost sad), and two, I feel like him no longer being the only Spider-Man in his own dimension goes along with him not feeling like a true Spider-Man, and no longer having this one thing to himself that he can have in common with other spider members.

I could go on about this but this is already so long 😭 but anyway, I think that part is usually disregarded, much like Miguel’s soft side that we don’t get to see a lot of in the film. We’re given very little of soft Miguel and the majority is him being angry, stressed out, scared, and frustrated (rightfully so) with what’s happening.

So, hearing both songs, I felt like they represent two sides of Miguel. One that is more direct, bold, and rough, maybe even “violent.” It’s the side that’s most known to probably all the spider people and fans alike. Some people only see Miguel as an angry man that’s determined to protect the multiverse and sacrifice anything, since he’s already given up so much.

But then there’s the side of him less known (less seen), one that we didn’t see much of but that many of us picked up on. He has a soft side despite being through a lot, and has a lot of love and care to give. He’s a man that’s capable of having nonviolent communication, someone who can fall first, speak differently with someone when he’s alone with them, and be willing to do anything to “bring” that person “to the other place” - while still being Spider-Man and sticking to his duty that comes with such title but not sacrificing those very things.

So yeah, I heard the songs and it just clicked. “Nonviolent Communication” to me is the soft side of Miguel that we don’t get to see much in ATSV, but it’s still there. And so, I decided that it was the perfect title for my fic because of my interpretation of the song and my goal with the fic: show Miguel’s soft and vulnerable side that I so desperately hope we get to see more of in BTSV (I am begging the writers to do Miguel justice!!!!!!!).

I hope this made sense, maybe as I mentioned earlier, I’ve given too much thought to this (I’m an overthinker) but that’s my version and I love the song SO MUCHH!!! It was my most heard song in 2023, so I guess that says a lot :)

If you read this far, thank you so much!! I definitely talked too much but I seriously love Miggy and this song so much and I always get so emotional listening to it lmao 😭 but yeah, thank you for the ask, nonnie!!! I hope you're having a great day/night!!!🥺🥰

-Alondra❤️

[argentsunshine]

have you posted about your characterization of Joker? i really like your takes about him and would love if it were explained, but understand if not

i don't think i've posted about it explicitly beyond writing fics and comics, but i do think about it a lot

i acknowledge that everyone picks different options for their akira(/ren, i'll be calling him akira here in case i have to differentiate between his real world and metaverse personas), but imo there are way more basic facts about akira that are the same regardless of what dialogue options you pick than people act like there are

he's quiet

he's not really a silent protagonist unless you're incredibly broad with the term, but he still isn't exactly the most talkative guy. you may be saying mr argent sunshine, this is obvious, why are you bothering to state this. well you see i often joke that i have a test where i back out of a fanfic if anyone describes akira as "loud", "talkative", or anything else to that effect. i have seen this so often and it drives me insane. especially when people portray him as like, a quirky hyperactive ditz constantly saying stupid shit...? people can be funny while saying very few words, guys. (sometimes it's even funnier to say less. wild concept.)

also, while the doylist purpose of his quietness is obvious - making the player pick a line every other sentence would get annoying and would force them to write and record way more dialogue to account for all the responses - i think it's interesting to examine from a watsonian perspective. was he always quiet, or is it a mask in the same way as the glasses are? i personally imagine him always being on the quiet side, but it's a space you could play in.

2. caring so deeply about everyone and everything all the time

this to me is the real core of akira's character. the defining moment of his whole deal to me is the one-two punch of him saving a woman he didn't know and losing everything for it, and, when arsene asks, him saying doing that was not a mistake, i'd do it again if i had to, even though the woman he was trying to save turned around and lied to the police, resulting in his arrest. he comforts ann when they barely know each other, he awakens to arsene in the first place while trying to protect ryuji, who he's known for all of ten minutes. yes, he loves his friends and found family dearly (and i'm sure when i started talking about things that are true no matter what option you pick someone went "oh like how akechi will still be akira's wish in maruki's reality no matter what you do", yeah, that too) but he's also ready to throw himself into harm's way for the sake of people he's never met.

(if someone wants my full rant on this point ask me about sojiro akira parallels but a side point to this is that he's deeply unselfish, to a level that may not be healthy in the long run. he just so happens to have gotten the exact magic powers to make his heroics feasible. i'm just saying, without getting persona powers he still would have managed to draw kamoshida's anger, and he would have been expelled and probably gone to juvie! but he still would have done it because he can't just look away.)

3. oh god i don't want this to turn into a whole full rant so now i have to pick one last point then shut up. oh god oh fuck. i could talk about akira forever but nobody wants to sit through that. let's talk about masks.

i don't think of joker as The Real Akira as much as his metaverse appearance is another facet of him. looking at him from another angle. i think his flair for the dramatic is fun and i love him, but i also think the concept of theatrics and illusion and trickery (ha) being built so deep into him is very important. even though it's always for the greater good, he does tell people what they want to hear a lot (off the top of my head, maybe 1/3 to 1/2 of his non-PT confidants are at least somewhat based on false pretenses right from the start, even if they make him come clean in the end, and a lot of the rest involve akira being exactly who the person needs him to be.) you could argue that akira's always pretending to literally everyone fully all the time (I don't think this is true; i think he obscures parts of himself to make himself more useful or palatable to others, but i think arguing his connections are inauthentic is a) edgelord bullshit or, more commonly, shipper brain if they're arguing only one connection is authentic b) just not consistent with the way people work. i'm personally of the opinion that we're all always presenting tailored versions of ourselves to everyone around us - i'm ruder around my friends but kinder around my parents; openly ramble about my interests to my online friends but tend to keep a lid on them irl - these don't make some of my connections fake, it's just a difference in the facets people see. i don't think akira's tendecy to present different masks around different people is neccasarily the best way to go about life (in that i think it Will lead to an identity crisis inevitably) but it's definitely A Thing!

i lost track of what i was saying at the end there so i'll stop talking

[bthump]

hey there!! just wanted to kinda ask more about your take on the haters of griffith's entire reasoning is because of what he did to casca. do you think that is really a valid reason to completely fucking hate him lol? i personally love griffith and i do understand why he did it (i'm NOT justifying SA) due to his complete hatred of guts post defeat & capture. i do also definitely think he is evil as well but would love to hear your take on it a little more.

To be perfectly honest I think just about any reason to hate a fictional character is valid lol so yeah. If people hated him for, idk, wearing a colour they don't like in an official promo I'd consider that valid. And yeah I think raping another character is a fair enough reason for someone to hate a fictional dude.

What I think is less valid is the way a lot of fans express that hate (eg homophobic remarks, harassment towards other fans who don't hate Griffith), or try to justify it further through bad "analysis" of the story, such as asserting that Griffith was always evil and never loved anyone and only wanted to control Guts and Casca etc etc. Like it's okay to hate a fictional character but I wish people could be chill about it lol, and like, recognize that it's fiction and they're getting mad at a drawing.

Anyway, that said, my take on Griffith probably differs a little from yours. eg I don't think he completely hated Guts after Guts defeated him and he was tortured for a year, and in fact I think Griffith sacrificed Guts because he didn't hate him, because even after all that he still loved him and that love had fucked up his life and his dream and ruined everything. So he felt he had to cut Griffith out of him, essentially.

Though as Femto it seems that the negative feelings were given power and by far outweighed the positive feelings. That seems to be part of what makes apostles and godhands monsters in this story. So yeah I definitely think that's at least part of the motivation for the rape scene.

I've been asked a lot about why Griffith/Femto raped Casca so I'll link you to this collection of posts I've written about it, if you're interested!

As for Griffith being evil, you can definitely make a case for Femto, since he's a demon, and NeoGriffith is a wildcard right now, but human Griffith is, imo, probably the most "moral" person in the story, which is a big part of what makes his arc and the sacrifice climax so effective imo. I have a few posts about that if you're interested, here's a link to one that has links to a couple others as well. To me it's vital to the themes of the story that Griffith is not evil as a human, and that his goals and motivations are sympathetic and even admirable. He's a perfect example of the duality of humanity that Berserk loves to delve into, and it's a great "the road to hell is paved with good intentions" style narrative imo.

Thanks for the ask!

[x0x0josephinex0x0]

bet | min yoongi

it's missing yoongi hours so here is this lil yoongi blurb to remind you he's the cutest ever <3 warnings: yoongi being a rizzler (jk), trash talking

It's game time.

Or at least it has been.

For the past three hours.

As Yoongi posts up for another round of one-on-one ball, you shake your head. "You like to nap more than anyone I know. How have you not gotten sick of getting your butt kicked by now?"

He grins. "You had enough? I'm pretty sure I've won more than half the games."

"What?! That's outrageous." In reality, it's probably close to even, but this is part of the fun -- the trash talk. And nobody does it better than Yoongi.

"Listen, if you're too tired to keep going, you can quit," he reminds you, a devilish glint in his eyes. "People your height aren't usually very good at basketball."

You laugh. "Min Yoongi, you are short."

He smirks at you. "Weak comeback," he says. "But I was thinking."

"Yeah? About how to stop getting your ass kicked?"

"No," he says with a chuckle. "Why don't we raise the stakes?"

"A bet?" you guess. He nods. "What are we wagering?"

He smiles, runs over to his bag, and pulls out a pen. "Write something on your hand you'd want me to do, and I'll do the same. Whoever loses has to do what's on the winner's hand."

Odd, you think to yourself. But you write on your hand -- "dance with me", something you've always wanted to ask him to do -- and hand the pen back to him. "Deal," you say lightly, although the laughter on his face as he writes on his hand makes you nervous. Is he writing something super embarrassing? Last time you lost a bet to him you had to climb a tree at 3 AM and pretend to get stuck so that the nearest passerby would have to help you out. You actually did get stuck, and Yoongi has never let you hear the end of it.

"There better be nothing about a tree on your hand," you call to him as you go to pick up the ball. You can hear him laugh.

The game is one of the best ones you've played against him. You're both playing extremely well, and you think you might actually have him beat -- until he aces a 3 from almost half-court. Then, the momentum is all his. You're tied up until the game point.

"What's on your hand anyway?" you ask Yoongi, out of breath.

He smiles, brushing some sweat away with his arm. "The only way for you to find out is to lose." And then he turns around and lobs the ball over his head.

Unbelievably, it swishes in.

Your jaw drops. "You did NOT just do that," you exclaim. "That was literally one of the coolest things I've ever seen in my whole life."

He shrugs. "I'm always motivated by the reward. What's on your hand?" he asks, grabbing it before you can dodge. He reads it and then his gaze flicks up to you.

"Dance with you?" he says quizzically.

"Uh..." Suddenly, you're embarrassed -- although you're not sure why. It's just dancing, right?

He pats your hand. "Don't worry," he says, misreading your embarrassment for worry. "There's no mention of trees on here." He hold his hand up.

"What does it say?" you ask, mildly dreading the answer.

"You'll find out tonight. I'll meet you at six at the square. Wear your normal clothes," he says, already walking away.

"What?" you say. But he's already gone, waving you away.

At six you stand anxiously in the middle of the small town square. The streets are mostly empty -- it's a sleepy little place, and most of the locals are inside with their families.

Suddenly, you hear a voice calling your name behind you. For some reason, this time around, it brings a chill to your spine.

When you turn, Yoongi stands there with a single white flower -- a daisy. Your favorite. He beckons you over with his head, the hand not carrying the flower hidden behind his back.

Gripped with curiosity, you move closer. "Okay, what's that about?" you ask, gesturing to the flower.

He sighs. "Gosh, do I really need to explain everything to you?" He laughs when you look confused. "It's for you."

He hands it to you. And then, from behind his back, the music starts -- a nice slow waltz playing on the speaker he had hidden in his other hand. He sets down the speaker and offers you his arm, and suddenly you are spinning onto the dance floor escorted by Min Yoongi.

"How on earth do you know how to waltz?" you ask him.

"This is by far the easiest dance I've done in awhile," he says. "Plus, you wanted to do it, so I learned after the game."

"You learned this in like two hours?" you ask incredulously.

"I'm actually pretty good at dancing," he reminds you, pushing you under his arm for a spin.

"Okay, you're right. But the real question remains." He raises his eyebrows curiously. "What did you write on your hand?"

He smiles and stops dancing. Taking both your hands in his, he places the hand he wrote on on top of your opposite one. In his neat handwriting, you read the words:

"Kiss Min Yoongi."

You look up at him, alarmed. "Is this a joke?"

He scoffs. "Why would I joke about that?" He tugs your arms so they rest around his neck. Your faces are almost nose to nose. He smiles gently. "Is it okay, though?"

"Okay?" you choke.

"Like, do you want me to?" He looks suddenly worried. "I won't if you don't like me like that. I just thought --"

But before he can finish, you make up your mind. Standing on your tiptoes, you kiss him.

His smile when you pull away is brighter than the sun. "Out of curiosity," you say, still stuck in his embrace, "what were you planning to do if you lost?"

He laughs. "There was no way I was going to lose that one."

[radishhqueen]

ao3 questions!

thanks @plothooksinc for the tag 🥺💕 i am always psyched to talk about writing.

1. How many works do you have on AO3? Somehow I've reached 10 whole works... 9 of which are completed.

2. What's your total AO3 word count? 193,772. Shit I gotta write something to break 200k.

3. What fandoms do you write for? rottmnt pretty exclusively. I never have been so plagued by a media that I felt the need to write it down before. Insane that the ninja turtles got me.

4. Top five fics by kudos?

how to get very good at juggling - 1,079

vigilantism for fun and profit - 410

it's too early for this - 322

the ol switcheroo - 321

stuck between a rock and a hard place - 207

5. Do you respond to comments? Yeah!! At least if there's something to like, reply to. I get very giddy about doing it, so if you've ever received a rambling five paragraph essay from me uhhh enjoy my stream of consciousness.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? I don't think any of them have angsty endings? Mostly bc i need all my little guys to be happy. the ol switcheroo is the fic that I cried the most writing though, hands down.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? Again, all happy endings, but HMMMM how to get very good at juggling may be the happiest. It's a hard pick tho.

8. Do you get hate on fics? Nah.

9. Do you write smut? Not that anyone gets to see.

10. Craziest crossover? I've never written one! I tend not to seek them out, though there are definitely a handful I'm very fond of.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? Not that I'm aware of!

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? Not that I'm aware of!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? Yeah! My friend and I have been co-writing a fic on and off since about 2018. It's just for us, really, since it's basically a post-canon fic of an RP that we were in from like 2009-2013ish? Anyway the lore doesn't make sense but the character dynamics compel me so here we are. I've got some snippets and some drawings for it in #rs tag.

14. All time favourite ship? Not a big shipping person!

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? I intended on writing more for hot girl summer, but considering I haven't updated it in about a year, and I never really had a plan in the first place, and I feel like the last posted chapter ended in a very conclusive place, that ship has probably sailed.

16. What are your writing strengths? The Bit. She's my #1, I never forget. My favorite comments are along the lines of "please stop making me laugh during this very sad section". People have different tastes of course, but I find that consistent, oppressive angst is just not...appealing to me, and if the angst goes on for too long, I'll just drop the fic. I like to add a little levity to the mood, or at least some dark humor.

17. What are your writing weaknesses? Ough. Planning is a bad one for me. I didn't have an outline for any of my fics, besides some rough mental plans. for the ol switcheroo, I didn't even have an ending figured out when I started writing it. Actually coming up with ideas can be difficult, and I usually need to have something actively eating away at my brain in order for it to make it onto paper.

18. Thoughts on dialogue in another language? Depends on if the POV character understands it or not. If they don't, I'll usually just write like "Character B said something in Spanish." If they do understand it, I'd write, "Character B started speaking in Spanish. "Do you drink milk?"" Maybe put it in italics if it doesn't seem super clear? The exception would be like, if a character is peppering words from another language, a bit like Leo and Spanish in rottmnt.

19. First fandom you wrote in? Technically I wrote some Pokemon fic back in like 2008. It was OC fic and I could not tell you for the life of me what it was about though.

20. Favourite fic you've written? vigilantism for fun and profit may be the one that I reread the most, though I do reread all the fics in the mean teen fighting machines series. The fic that single-handedly gave me Foot Clan brainrot. Casey Jones isn't even my favorite character in the show as written.

tagging @witchofthemoss @sroloc--elbisivni @crows-murder o/ i would love to see your words

[retropobor]

I feel strongly as if I should make some original content on this blog, but I don't have any as of late, so I'm just gonna throw my thoughts out here relating to the blog (consider this a weather update)

to get things out of the way, I have decided to work on a little pixel art project which should be out sooner or later. And by little I mean its canvas is the exact same size as my previous largest single piece pixel art project: the mantis dragon

and this thing is ancient (for those of you who want a good dating system for my art, the lack of outlines means that this thing's pretty damn old, this one specifically dating back to a little over a year ago, although I just added the signature so it can't get stolen)

That aside the other main topic I wanted to touch on is the little side of the deltaverse I kinda found myself in. It feels like a lot of stuff is going on, but who am I to say. One big shot I know barely anything about took a break indefinitely then returned, only for another big shot, and good friend of mine @mrchaosman to also take a break (I cannot stress enough I wish you the best and care for you, mate). There was a massive tournament put on by @grimmdeltarune (RIP Mie, neither gone nor forgotten [I was happy to participate in it nonetheless]) and probably so many other things that went under my radar. It's just all interesting to watch. I've always been fascinated by ecosystems, either natural or human, but that's a separate tangent. Right now I feel like I exist on some sort of outer rim of the system, but I want to be more central. Maybe not Winterer, l0cal_hooligan or whatever other big shot you want to name central/famous, but just more of a somebody than I am right now. Issues are

1: I only have parallels to bring to the table, and considering I barely can even produce content (better yet well thought out content) for it, Idk if that's enough

2: I don't know how much attention I can (or really want to) give Deltarune. The game means a lot to me, don't get me wrong, but when you have the steam library of alexandria, a full on dnd campaign, and

it kinda cuts down on the amount of attention you can give to deltarune

3: I don't know how. It's been forever since I've actually made a friend, and like half the friends I currently have are born out of coincidence (granted half my friend group is my dnd group, and how I got them is an entire story and a half, but my point still stands even when not counting my dnd group), and I don't know how to start a conversation. If I can get into a conversation, I'm flawless, but starting one is a whole different topic.

Last but not least the datapack. I still want to work on it, but working on the next "session" (I feel as though adventure would better fit it due to its sheer size) for my dnd campaign has taken up just about all my time. Once I finish up with it, I should have plenty of free time to do some more work. No clue what I'll make but I know I want to make something.

Anyways yeah, those are some of my disjointed thoughts piled into this nonsensical tangent of a post. Thanks for reading through.

[snorkling-in-sodasea]

Moments of Stupidity 16

Well, since Full Moon came out, it was probably only a matter of time before this, huh? I guess I wanna say first is, I'm feeling rather different than when I first started.

At the beginning, I just wanted to vent. Let anger out. I mean, as much as I have people on the lookout for my posts - which I'm flattered by - I'm still just one of many posting stuff on this site. I'm definitely not the first one to share their dislike over what goes on in Helluva Boss and I doubt I'll be the last.

Over time, I watch the shows more and more and now pretty pictures and some good songs are the standard I have now because, irrational and angry or sane and calm, I still can't get behind the writing at times. Still, I continued this series of posts about stupidity in the shows because I was being fueled by people liking these posts.

Now I'm wondering if I'll just be disappointing one of my parents if I make these posts. Because I talked with them about something and they were right. No matter how much people don't like Vivienne, she managed to be successful and do something right, if she's managed to get A24 interested in airing her show and get that show on Amazon Prime. No matter who doesn't like that, that's still what happened.

Like Stephan King and J.K. Rowling, for example. Those two got their haters but they still got their fans because they're still doing something right, especially writing wise. You might not think that's a good comparison considering the examples I'm using but it's true in the sense that they and Vivienne still are successful due to their works because they all got their fans who helped them get that successful.

So yeah, I know that I can seem disappointing to my parent that I've been angrily posting about a successful show despite how it's not going to change that success and there's a very real chance that I will, should I tell them about it. Especially since I'm still doing at least this post. I guess I can still do this for fun or because I know people will still look forward to these moments of stupidity. I'll have to think on it

In any case, I started this post to still talk about how actions in the screenplay are dumb so I might as well deliver on what I promised. Thanks to anyone and everyone who bothered reading all of this, as well as those who don't get upset over the above.

Full Moon -

So there's D.H.O.R.K.S. first. They not only didn't get any better at interrogation since they got no real way of knowing that Keenie and Cletus were really telling the truth - and they weren't, especially about the exorcists - but there's also the suits. The suits obviously fit the cherubs but Agent One and Agent Two reasonably would never expect to meet them to give the suits to so that the battle suits could be used. I can't even think of kids being sent because they decided not to after last time. So who the fuck would Agent One and Agent Two put in those battle suits?

I guess there's the cherubs, too, for having been stealthy enough with the 'worried mother' bit but then be obvious as fuck when following Blitzo. I mean, the disguise as the mother was kind of strange but like Moxxie said, they weren't exactly covert. How could the cherubs think they would never be spotted when their upper halves were sticking out of the damn bushes?

Other than that, then the biggest moment of stupidity goes to none other than Stolas. Starting up the conversation the way he did is one thing (yes, really, it could be chalked up to Stolas being severely sheltered and alone growing up) but it's another thing entirely to make it sound like Blitzo is the one who makes it all about sex and getting upset about it. Seriously. Stolas is the one who made the deal that centers around sex. He's the one who always spewed sexual shit out of his mouth in most of season 1 and a couple episodes in season 2. He's the one Blitzo was talking about when he said 'don't make it anything more than you (Stolas) wanting me (Blitzo) to fuck you'. Even at the very first meeting that Stolas and Blitzo ever had, Stolas was the one who thought of taking Blitzo to his room and say that he's there to ravish him. How was it Blitzo's fault that that was on Stolas's mind? Yeah, Blitzo may have been the one to initiate sex but it sure seems like to me that he only did that because Stolas gave him the idea of sex being a possibility. Even if Stolas just said the 'ravish me' line as a joke, it still gave Blitzo the idea to have sex. (By the way, that's a very weird joke to make with a friend, especially one you had literally only one playdate with over twenty years ago). Naturally, by this episode, Stolas has practically conditioned Blitzo to make everything about sex when Stolas is in the picture yet this damn owl is upset that his confession wasn't being taken seriously

[aylacavebear]

Stockroom Antics - Chapter 24

Maria had changed jobs numerous times over the last five years, more to keep herself safe than anything else. Her mother had told her she was a fairy but she thought it was just her mom being weird. Honestly, though, she had no other way of explaining what had happened to her that stormy day before she'd gone into a coma for two weeks.

Please don't take my work. I'll post warnings for each chapter. Will probably be 18+ I haven't decided yet!

Word Count: 2838

Pairing eventually Dean Winchester x OC

Warnings: Angst, Self-deprecating thoughts, Insecurities, Depression, Past Traumas, and Insecurities come to light. (Please, if you suffer from these things, seek someone trustworthy to talk to. You really aren't alone.)

A/N: This one's written a little differently than my last one. Let me know what you think. It's the first time I've tried this type of writing. Chapters will alternate viewpoints as well. I also looked into an actual area so this one could feel more realistic. This one is taking on a life of it's own in a turn I hadn't anticipated, so adding a new tag.

----------------------------------------- Stockroom Antics Chapter 24

Dean lay in bed, lost in his thoughts. He wasn’t feeling the amount of emotions he had been the night before, which he figured was because she was sleeping. Again, he glanced over at the clock; after seven. He rested his arm on his forehead, staring at the ceiling.

How the hell am I supposed to even talk to her with as upset as she seems?

That was the main question that kept circling back in his mind. The others concerned things beyond that. He groaned before climbing out of bed, getting dressed, and going into the kitchen for coffee. There, he found Maria, Sam, and Bubbles sitting at the table. The mood of the room didn’t seem tense, but it wasn’t jovial either.

“Mornin’ Sweetheart,” he told her with a soft smile, sitting next to his brother, who was across from her.

“Morning,” she somewhat mumbled, not looking up at him, making his smile fade.

Dean sighed silently and then went into the library. He was beginning to feel like he was the reason for her down mood. So, he did the only thing he could think of: not be around her.

“Why do you get like that around him?” Sam asked curiously after Dean had left.

She shrugged slightly, still looking down at the table, “I’m scared,” she answered so quietly that he almost didn’t hear her.

“What are you scared of?” he asked, keeping that soft, comforting tone. At least she was opening up a little.

Bubbles climbed into her lap, and Maria rested her hand on her back, not looking up at Sam. He took note of how she wouldn’t look at him, had barely drank any of her coffee, and how she looked utterly terrified.

“Okay, let me try that again. I know Rowena probably said a lot of things to you, things to make Dean and me look like bad people who couldn’t be trusted,” he paused, carefully choosing his next set of words. “Dean and I have had to make some hard choices in the past. We lost people, good people, in the process. The two of us have even been killed a few times along the way.”

She looked up at him, “You died before?” she asked, seeming confused.

He chuckled a little, “Yeah. Somehow, Dean and I have always managed to find a way back, though.” He let out another sigh, “When it comes to Rowena, she’ll tell you what she wants so that she gets what she wants. She’ll even pretend to be your friend and care about you.”

She just stared at him for a few minutes, although he could see so many emotions flash in her eyes before she looked back down at the table. “I guess I just don’t know what to think or believe,” she mumbled, making him sigh again.

He noticed how she almost seemed to shy away, “I’m not upset or mad at you. I just don’t know what to say or do to help you believe me. Dean and I just want to keep you safe. That’s our first priority. We’d also like to get to know you, outside of keeping you safe.”

Again, she wouldn’t look up at him. That was when something hit him, and he had an idea, “Okay. When Dean brought up bringing you here that night at the bar, did he just make you go, taking you against your consent, or did he ask you if you’d come here?” 

Sam noticed how she looked to think about his question, “He asked me,” she replied quietly.

He breathed in a breath of relief. At least he’d gotten her thinking, “He left the decision up to you. Now, when Rowena wanted to talk to you, did she do the same?” he asked, raising an eyebrow, watching her carefully.

“No, she didn’t,” she answered, still quietly, but at least it looked like she was thinking about it.

“That’s the kind of thing I’m talking about. We’re not going to force anything on you, including staying here. If you’d rather be at your home back in Arizona, we wouldn’t stop you,” he told her gently.

That was when the tears fell, and she looked away from him completely, trying to wipe them from her cheeks as fast as they were falling. Sam didn’t think twice. He got up, sat next to her, and pulled her into a hug. Whether she was going to admit it or not, she needed one. He felt her lean in and bury her face in his chest, gripping his shirt as she cried. Sam gently rubbed her back. Her body shook with her sobs. Bubbles woke up but didn’t move from her lap.

Dean had been watching some of the interactions from the kitchen doorway. At least she was letting someone comfort her, even if it wasn’t him. Sam did notice him. The two of them nodded slightly before Dean returned to the library, feeling somewhat relieved.

“Hey, it’s okay,” Sam told her gently, “You’re not alone in all this crazy mess. I know it might feel that way and it’s scary to let people get close, especially a couple of strangers as weird as me and Dean are. But, I can promise you that you’re safe here with us.”

She almost seemed to sob harder at his words. He could only speculate on what had gotten her to the point of not trusting people, or perhaps it was just men, but he wasn’t sure and had no clue how to get her to open up.

He let her cry for a bit longer before he spoke again, “I know you’re probably having some trust issues, with Rowena just taking you yesterday. I had wanted to give you that hex bag earlier, but you were sleeping when I finished making them. We had been worried she’d show up and try something. I’m sorry I didn’t think of it sooner.”

Again, she cried harder, and he gently rubbed her back and held her. He wasn’t sure how much time had passed when she finally started to calm down, but he’d chosen to stop talking. He felt terrible that she seemed to cry more every time he said something.

“I’m sorry,” she finally mumbled but hadn’t pulled away.

“You’ve got nothing to apologize for. After everything that’s happened to you in the last week, I’m surprised you aren’t worse off,” he told her, still gently rubbing her back.

She sniffled a little and pulled away, mostly to dry her eyes and cheeks, “I’m sorry I questioned you and Dean. I didn’t think about it the way you brought it up,” she told him quietly. “I feel bad.”

He gave her a compassionate smile, “You still don’t have to apologize. We honestly just want you to feel comfortable while you’re here if you want to stay.” Sam thought momentarily before continuing, “Is there anything you want me to tell Dean? I understand you’re scared, and I don’t want you to feel obligated to talk to him if you don’t want to.”

That made her look up at him, and Sam could see just how sad she was really feeling, “I’m scared because Astaria had told me that I met my soulmate recently. It’s you, Dean, or Crowley. And that… terrifies me,” she whispered.

“I can tell you that it’s not me. And I can prove that if you let me touch your hand. It might help you not be so scared,” he offered, again being gentle and trying to coax her a little.

When she nodded her head, Sam moved his hand from her back to the hand she had on his shirt. She probably hadn’t even realized that she was still holding onto it. He gave her a soft, reassuring smile as he gently squeezed her hand. Both of them missed Bubbles smile.

“See, no reaction. That’s how you find out, letting someone touch your skin,” he explained softly, “There’s no rush, though, if you want to find out about Dean. When you’re ready, okay?”

She nodded a little before she got up, Bubbles flying so that she was next to her, “I think I’m gonna take a nap,” she whispered. 

“We’ll be here when you wake up,” he replied, giving her another soft smile before she and Bubbles headed out of the kitchen.

Dean watched from where he sat in the library. She barely glanced at him as she went down the hallway to her room, and Dean sighed. Sam joined him shortly after and explained what happened in the kitchen.

“She’s just gonna need some time, but at least now she knows how to find out who her soulmate is,” he tried to reassure Dean.

He sighed, “At least she was talking, even if it’s not to me.”

Sam felt for his brother. They hadn’t found much information on soulmates, and it wasn’t like they could just talk to Astaria to get more information on the topic. Neither of them realized that because Dean felt the pull toward her first, he also felt part of what she was going through.

“Dean,” he began sympathetically, “I already told you, she’s terrified that her soulmate is Crowley. At least try to understand that.”

“I do, Sammy. I just wish I could show her she’s wrong,” he said sadly.

A half-hour later, Bubbles came out of her room and joined the two in the library. Sleeping. The word flashed through Dean’s mind, and he nodded his head. Then, she flew a few feet from the table, reached out, and “drew” a line as tall as the brothers. A golden line appeared that also pulsed slightly. Bubbles looked over at the brothers and motioned them to go over to her. 

The two shared a look, and Bubbles rolled her eyes. Astaria. Dean raised an eyebrow before he looked back over at his brother, “Well, you want to talk to Astaria?” he asked.

“Wait? What?” Sam asked, somewhat confused.

“Bubbles apparently wants to take us to see her,” he answered before he got up and took a deep breath. 

Sam wasn’t entirely sure what to think, but they hoped it might help, so he, too, got up and followed Bubbles and his brother through the dimensional opening. Both of them looked around in utter awe. The trees and plant life were massive.

“I feel like an ant,” Sam said as he looked around.

Bubbles had already begun flying down the path they were on but stopped and turned to them, “You coming?” she asked, tilting her head a bit.

“Dean,” Sam said, smacking his brother on the shoulder, trying to get his attention, “it talked.”

Dean laughed hard, then shook his head in amusement, “At least I don’t have to play middle man,” he replied, still chuckling some. “Come on, Sam.”

He began following Bubbles, and Sam reluctantly followed him. It was a short walk before the path opened up to what looked like a little village. Bubbles kept flying, though, so they kept following. The people there looked at the brothers following the little purple dragon, but that was considered normal to them. The brothers weren’t sure what to think of the friendly smiles and waves they were given, so they just returned the smiles and waves.

Bubbles finally stopped in front of a large tree that looked like it had been turned into a home inside the trunk. She knocked on the door, and a woman opened it. She had long black hair, light blue eyes, a petite figure, and a soft smile.

“You’re back,” she said to Bubbles, who nodded her head and gestured to the brothers. She tilted her head a bit, looking them over. “Well, you aren’t Pari, and neither of you carries the gene. She clearly brought you here for a reason, and it must have something—” she stopped. A look of realization hit her: “OH MY GOD! You’re her soulmate.”

“Finally,” Bubbles said, rolling her eyes before she flew over and landed on the table where Maria and Astaria had sat and talked before. Dean couldn’t help but chuckle a little.

“Can you help us understand soulmates a little more?” Sam asked a little hesitantly.

“Of course,” she replied kindly, gesturing to the table where a third chair appeared.

The brothers sat across from Astaria with Bubbles seated on the table near Dean, “I’m Astaria. I’m going to guess you’re Dean and you’re Sam. Maria has told me about the two of you. It’s nice to put faces to names finally,” she said with a soft smile.

“Nice to meet you,” Dean said, finding it much easier to smile and relax now. 

“Did you believe in soulmates before you met her, Maria?” Astaria asked.

“Honestly, it’s come up a couple of times, but neither of us took any stock in it. We’re hunters. Having a normal life and relationship isn’t something we put much stock in given how dangerous our job is,” Dean replied, almost surprised at how easy it was to just talk to her.

“It wasn’t that we believed or didn’t believe. It’s not something that happens often where we’re from,” Sam added, relaxing more.

“Well, that explains why you were able to hear her familiar before she could. You didn’t have any bias on the topic,” she stated.

Astaria then went on to explain soulmates to the two of them. Every Pari has a soulmate; sometimes, it can take lifetimes before they find each other. Soulmates share a connection and if it’s strong and welcomed, they can even go as far as talking telepathically to each other through that connection. They can feel each other’s emotions, physical pains, and sensations, as well as find each other if they are separated. In order for a non-believer to believe, skin-to-skin contact must be made for the connection to begin. Then, the non-believer has to be open to explore the connection further.

The brothers sat and listened to her. Dean wondered how the hell he was even going to be able to get close enough to her to attempt that or if it was even a good idea to initiate the contact.

“Right now, she’s overwhelmed and terrified. I don’t know how much she shared with you about her life. The dimension you all are from doesn’t welcome those that are different. After her accident, when her powers started, she figured no one would ever want her,” Astaria explained, then sighed, “She figured she’d always be alone.”

Dean felt a tear slide down his cheek, then Bubbles’ hand on his, which was resting on the table in front of him. He quickly wiped it away and took a deep breath. “So, how do I even get close to her?” He was always suave when it came to women, but Maria was different. He wanted more with her than he’d wanted with any woman, and it scared the hell out of him.

Astaria thought momentarily, debating how to answer his question, “Well, just be yourself. That really is my best advice. I did make it clear to her that she’d have to make a choice. It really is up to her, no matter how much being apart from her is hurting you. The dragon will be there for you, let her. It won’t be the same comfort, but the more you let her in, the easier it will be for you.”

That wasn’t the answer he hoped for, but it gave him a starting point. 

“Dean, we should get back, before she wakes up. I told her we’d be there,” Sam told his brother, wanting to ensure he kept his word to her, especially after the Rowena incident.

“Well, it was nice to have met the two of you, and I’m sure I’ll see you again,” Astaria told them with a soft smile. “Dean, just be yourself, honestly. I can see the kind of heart and soul you have. You’re too hard on yourself. You aren’t why she’s sad, so stop thinking that.”

Ouch, Dean thought to himself, but he just gave her a friendly smile, “I’ll remember that.”

“Nice to meet you too, Astaria,” Sam replied.

The brothers followed Bubbles back to the dimensional portal, both lost in their thoughts. Dean even chuckled to himself, having the moment from the Disney movie Aladdin play through his mind, where the genie had told Aladdin to be himself. 

Once back inside the bunker, Bubbles closed the rift and flew to Maria’s room. Dean double-checked the time. They’d been gone a couple of hours, even if it hadn’t felt that long. He just kept reminding himself, to be himself around her. Although now, he needed a drink, so went for the whiskey. He felt like all his nerves were on edge. Give him monsters any day of the week. Ask him to be himself around his soulmate, who doesn’t believe in soulmates, and he turns into a nervous wreck on the inside.

----------------------------------------- Chapter 25

Tag List: @djs8891 @deans-spinster-witch

Link to the series Master List

A/N: If you'd like to be tagged in future chapters, leave me a comment, and I'll make sure to tag you

[sleepanonymous]

Posting here for reasons! Ok so! To whom it may concern, idk! Call me a party pooper & an old head for this but all this "tummy" talk about III is rubbing me the wrong way. This isn't meant to make anyone feel bad at all! I come in peace!!! BUT! Y'all know the guys see a lot of what we talk about, right? I've seen it done about Vess as well before, concerning stretch marks. Can you imagine people posting zoomed in photos of your stretch marks or bloated tummy all over the Internet, and having full blown discourse about it? You'd be mortified! Would you say the same things about or to the Sleepy ladies...? Probably not. 🤔 Maybe I'm being a giant hypocrite. Sure. There's some nuance here and I know most of the comments usually come from a sweet & silly place because we love them SO sooo much!!❤️ And I am surely not immune to speaking on their physical appearance as well but never would I purposely say things that could make the guys possibly feel insecure or crappy under Instagram posts or whatever. These men have insecurities just like you and I. Yeah, it comes with the territory, blah blah blah, ect... But I'll tell you right now.... I can promise you, at least I feel I can speak on III.... He don't like it! lol So please show some respect in that matter. I guess my point is, if you care about the Sleepy dudes like I do, please pause before you say something that might make another human feel shitty about their body. We all struggle and you wouldn't like it if the tables were turned onto you. I truly come in peace! I love you all! 💖

Hello love 🖤 Sorry it took so long for me to get to this ask, by the time I got home from errands I had a migraine so I took a nap instead of getting online.

I don’t want to add too much to this post, since I think you’ve stated everything fairly clearly. I could easily fall into that hypocrite pile with you (I poke a lot of fun at the Eepy Guys, and even thirst over them, especially in more “private” online spaces like group chats/Discord). But even coming from good intentions, the comments could definitely be interpreted as malicious and hurtful. I’ve always struggled with body image/self esteem, so I think that’s why I reacted so negatively to that one nasty comment made about Vessel’s face.

One last thing to add, and not to scare anyone but just to add a little extra mindfulness to this ask: The band do 100% lurk and have burner accounts for online spaces. I’ve been told this by three different sources at this point, so I’m inclined to believe it.

P.S. I don’t mind being a mouthpiece for longer, more serious posts like this, especially if you DM me first 🖤

[polyhexian]

Thinking about the emotional rollercoaster that is Hunter and Jasper's newfound developing relationship after Jasper's no longer dying of infection and everything's come to light. Hunter now knows the truth, but can he HANDLE the truth? He was already having, like, seven ongoing crises, and now he has THIS on top of them. He's just learned about a dozen new things he gets to be angry over!

Your approach to writing Hunter's trauma recovery has always been very raw. I like a good saccharine hurt/comfort fic as much as the next person, but I really appreciate the raw approach, too. Recovery isn't perfect, it can be ugly and uncomfortable and painful, and you've never shied away from that. So I'm thinking of a still-reeling-from-Hollow-Mind Hunter, freshly dumped in another dimension with his weirdo stalker who turns out to be the father he'd just gotten used to thinking never existed, and I'm looking over at Agony!Hunter and Lament!Hunter for comparison and wincing.

I commented on another post about how I feel like Hunter would WILDLY vacillate between "you should've just kidnapped me by force!" and "yeah I was definitely super brainwashed and would've run back to tell Belos everything first chance I got" for the first…however long it takes for him to come to terms with this. But I can also see him lashing out at Jasper, like, here's some of the awful things Belos did to me, I hope that telling you about them makes you hurt because I feel like you abandoned me and I'm angry. But then that eventually goes in the complete opposite direction, like, I'm not going to tell you about what horrible memory gave me nightmares tonight even though I'd feel better if I did, because I know you love me and you were trying your best and you've been hurting every day for 16 years while you tried to get me back, and I don't want to hurt you more.

Jasper just…trying to get his kid to talk to him if he needs to. Probably at some point when Hunter's clammed up Jasper has to open up a bit himself like, look, nothing you could say is going to surprise me, that man gave me more opportunities to look at my insides than I want to remember; I'll be angry and sad about what you went through, but I've spent 16 years thinking about what he might have been doing to you and trust me, nothing you say is going to send me into a horrified shock response. Maybe he's reluctant to talk about his own experiences much because 1) Remembering sucks, and 2) He doesn't want Hunter thinking he's trying to upstage his pain, but like…they have adjacent trauma from the same abuser, they're gonna understand each other on a wavelength most other people won't get.

I do feel at the very least though Jasper would nip whatever personhood-related crisis Hunter might be having in the bud. Nope, nope, none of that; it took me 12 years to figure out I was a real person with feelings, and I didn't bargain with Belos to convince him to allow you the privilege of thinking you're a person just for you to start questioning it because you found out you're part vegetable. You've got 16 years experience of believing you're a person, that's a fantastic foundation that you should NOT take a sledgehammer to. Are we real people? We damn well BETTER be after all the work I put into figuring out emotions! Maybe this is like, the one thing Jasper really puts his foot down on. He's fine if Hunter's angry at him or if Hunter never forgives him or whatever, but he absolutely draws the line at Hunter thinking he might not be a real person.

Probably doesn't help that the whole situation is likely compounded by Hunter's guilt that oh, all his friends had to leave their family behind and are super worried about them, and he just GOT his dad back but he can't even be grateful about it?? What kind of horrible person is he??

And later on, when they've progressed past the worst of the anger, and Hunter has realized that yeah, he really does want a relationship with his dad. Then his issues of self-worth and believing love is conditional come into play.

I'm imagining some point where they're having a quiet conversation, maybe on the couch late at night. Maybe it started with Hunter asking why - why did you even care, why were you so willing to die for me when you barely knew me for two minutes. And Jasper is like I don't know, I just did, but that's not good enough for Hunter so he keeps talking. He talks about growing Hunter, all the work he put in and the attention to detail, about how excited he was, how he'd quietly talk to the planter box and spill out what he was only starting to realize were real feelings, about how he'd put his finger in Hunter's little palm and feel his heart stutter when his hand closed around it.

And Hunter listens to all of this in silence, watches Jasper smiling at the memories while he speaks, and he starts thinking about himself. About how he's never been able to maintain Belos's approval, how he's never been able to impress the coven heads, how he's just a half-a-witch who's never been anywhere near as powerful as Jasper is, how he's never been able to beat the Martlet in combat, how he's got so many punishment scars, how he's been such an awful, ungrateful brat these last few weeks to this man who loves him so much; love is conditional and Hunter has done nothing to earn Jasper's love and he probably needs to figure out how to fix that before he loses what seems to be a good thing, except his failures are many and his debt to Jasper is enormous and there is absolutely no way he will ever be able to impress or repay this man.

Jasper is still smiling into the middle distance as he says something about how badly he wanted to meet Hunter and how curious he was about what kind of person he'd be when he emerged.

Hunter feels a rock sink in his stomach, and very quietly says, "Sorry for the disappointment."

And Jasper blinks and looks down at Hunter, pure confusion on his face, and asks, "Why would I be disappointed?"

ahhHHHH

jasper completely blindsided by this. he doesn't have the proper experience with hunter's self worth issues yet to expect stuff like this, its just fully like. what?? disappointed??? when did i say that?? did i make it sound like that??? shit im doing a really bad job at this i guess. but also like. disappointed?? how could i ever be disappointed? you're alive! you have friends! I'm so happy! this is everything i ever wanted! and hunter is like no, i mean, disappointed by me and what i turned out like, i'm not nearly as brave or loyal as you, im a coward. and jasper is just floored. like ???? no! you are so smart and creative and kind and you are brave! what are you talking about??? you're a great kid! cue hunter bursting into tears