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the-moon-lullaby · 1 year

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hi! <3 I hope you are having a nice day :D I was wondering if you could do some headcanons for episode 26 from High School Life? I always thought that episode was really cool and fun, so if you could make maybe some headcanons mainly about the picnic Candy has with the girls and Alexy could be pretty awesome :D like just general headcanons about it. Also bestie I FEEL you about wanting to write anything else than an essay for uni :")

Random headcanons about episode 26

N/A : I really liked this episode too ! I was kinda inspired (I think ?)so there'll be some headcanons about the date but also some about the picnic with Alexy & the girls (also yeah, it's refreshing to write about things I actually enjoy, it didn't happen in a while sadly, so thank you for your understanding dear <3)

So let's start with the dates with the HSL Boys :

About the date with Nathaniel, I found it funny how Candy thought it'd be a good idea to invite him on a picnic, in a park, in the middle of spring, when she knows that he's badly allergic to pollen (I just know that my boy had to make a stock of antihistamines and was suffering in silence, guess he really wanted that date)

I like to think that Nathaniel actually took the time to carefully prepare himself for the picnic. Because even if Candy didn't specified it or anything, Nath wanted to believe that it was indeed a date. So, he thought a lot about what he should wear (let's ignore the fact that he still wears the same outfit in the illustration) and he put on a nice cologne, hoping that Candy would like it

It's pretty clear that Nathaniel intended to declare himself (there's a moment where he really seems about to kiss Candy) so when they got interrupted by Thomas, he tried to hide it but he was pissed (really Iris, put a leash on your brother, some people are trying to get it here)

In the case of Armin, I liked how he freaked out at the wasps' attack and it kinda make sense since at the frequency he goes outside, he probably hadn't seen a wasp since 2007 lmao

Also this little picnic date surely did him some good because there's no way this boy doesn't have a vitamin D deficiency (Okay, I might be a little hard on Armin right now, I'll stop)

Armin brought the sandwiches and believe or not but it was pretty good. He's not a big cook but I don't think he's a bad one, he just sticks to simple things (also he mastered the art of making sandwiches because it's his favorite 2 AM snack to make when he's pulling an all-nighter)

I believe that it's during this picnic that Armin realised that he had a crush on Candy (Guys, he spent a WHOLE afternoon out in the wild just for Candy, that says a lot if you ask me)

Okay one thing about the date with Castiel : I wanted him to bring Demon to the picnic (maybe it could have been hard to manage with all the food around but come on, he's a good boy LET HIM OUT BEEMOOV)

I am also a dog person so I might be biased lol

But just picture it : Castiel and Candy enjoying their little lunch with them taking turn to feed Demon with little bites of food (adorable plus, Castiel would enjoy to see Candy playing with Demon)

Also, Castiel's change of tone when talking to his dog (if you have a pet, you know what I mean). Candy would melt (and me too)

After eating, Candy and Castiel could have take Demon for a little walk in the park and Castiel would have let Candy hold the leash as she seems really excited about it (and he would have been really happy about it. Once again, if you have a pet you know how great it feels when someone you like gets along with your pet. It's so cute to see !)

Since Demon has this bad habit to pull on the leash (as seen in episode 3 of HSL), Castiel would help out Candy by putting his hand above hers to get a hold on the leash (and also to hold her hand)

Firstly, I am convinced that Nina was hiding somewhere in the park when she saw Lysander and Candy together (Back to the time where Nina was in her Joe Goldberg era lmao)

I think Lysander was the calmest amongst the boys about the date (and luckily he was because Candy was stressed out enough for the both of them. As usual)

He might have asked Leigh advices about dates 'cause like, he's supposed to have some experience right ? (the truth is that when his brother asked him that, he was just like "well, I was just existing and then Rosa decided that I'll be her boyfriend. So just stand there and exist I guess ?" Yeah, great advice from the big bro)

When I tell you that Kentin was ecstatic when Candy invited him on a picnic, that's an euphemism (bro was internally screaming)

Really, he probably wasn't able to stand still until the D-Day (he waited for that since basically forever so understandable)

Also, just like with Castiel, I wanted him to bring Cookie (I really like dogs, sorry)

The illustration for Kentin's route is so cute

The both of them, laying in the green grass, so close to each other with the bright sun above them. (That's such a picturesque vision, I love it !)

I like to think that they reminisced together of the memories they had from before they arrived to Sweet Amoris. Kentin tends to feel insecure when talking about this period of his life. However, as they both talking he realises that there's no judgment in Candy's tone and that the moments they spent together actually means a lot to her. It would warms his heart and if it was even possible, he'd be even more fond of Candy

(I wish they talked more about it in the game because even if it gets better by the end of HSL, his route still feels a bit superficial. Like there's this idea that he had to completely transform himself and become handsome to become "interesting". I don't know if you know what I mean)

Now, about the picnic with Alexy & the girls :

Before starting, I kinda wanted to see more interactions between the characters during the picnic (but I guess that the episode would have too long then but it's okay, I'll put some here)

Kim & Capucine's conversation (might sound odd but I'll explain it)

Kim (just know that I love HSL Kim, she's such a good character) just has this protective and « I won’t take any shit » vibe (even though she’s actually a big softie as we see with her interactions with Violette and it's so cute) and everyone respects her like naturally ?

In the beginning of this episode, Capucine was insufferable. Really, this girl was trying really hard to be like Amber when she’s nothing like her (and if you take into account the fact that Amber herself is putting on a persona, you kinda get a girl trying to put one someone else’s persona thinking that it’s the way to go. Kinda sad).

(just putting it here but I liked having a character like HSL Amber in the game because she brings the drama you know ? she's also a bully but she also have some depth to her character ? I am really confused 'cause I've had some bad experiences with people like her during my school years so I am wondering : Is Amber character actually good or do I have a Stockholm's Syndrome-ish thing ???? pls help)

Let's go back to our sheep : Kim & Capucine's interaction

So I like to think that during the picnic, Kim and Capucine got to talk a little and boom, two worlds meet : Kim doesn’t really give a shit about what people think of her and oppositely, Capucine lives by that. And I think because of it, Capucine kinda have a negative image of Kim.

Until they get to talk. Kim is friendly towards her even if she acts like a bitch because I truly think that Kim is pretty good at reading and understanding people (she probably doesn’t even realise it herself but when you’re capable to bond with someone so reserved as Violette as well as getting along with Castiel AND Nathaniel at the same time, it says quite a lot about this ability she has)

I think this conversation they’d have on the park would make Capucine think that Kim is a pretty cool person even though they are quite different and what's the most striking difference is that Kim is truly authentic (it’s something that’s pretty rare these days so when you come across someone like that it can really makes you question a lot of things) and she might even realise that the persona she puts on everyday at school doesn’t suit her and that she’s actually not happy with it (which I believe, after her relationship with Samuel, is one of the realisations she had before trying to become a better and truer version of herself)

This one was a bit long but I think there's so many things to say about Kim's character lol

Now, Melody and Iris talking about the whole Nathaniel situation and Alexy coming from nowhere just to say something like "there's too many fishes in the sea to waste time on one that doesn't want be caught. Move on girlie"

Like 'ayoo, mind your own business boy ?' (that's Alexy, of course he's not going to do that. He just has this radar for drama)

It's either that or HE IS the drama

Anyway, Melody is a bit startled because "how do you know about that ???" when the really question is "how could anyone not know" with how she's so not subtle. And that's how Alexy would basically become a love coach for the afternoon (wtf)

However if Melody starts to talk about Candy being too close to Nath, oh boy, Alexy goes defensive mode and he won’t hear more of this nonsense (like girl it’s not Candy’s fault if Nathaniel likes her better, wake up)

Anyway, this conversation would be pretty random and Melody wouldn't really know what to answer because I feel like she’s a pretty reserved person and on the contrary Alexy’s quite unhinged and then, there’s Iris in the middle watching the show (honestly same girl, I’d like to witness this conversation too)

Violette (my sweet girl) would try to draw the landscape but would end up practicing drawing silhouette using her friends as models. She’d be too shy to show it but I just know she’d end up showing her sketches to Kim later and she’d blush when told how good this is (pls their relationship is so lovely, I kinda ship them)

A Peggy and Rosalya’s interaction could also be interesting : they both like to know the gossips and all but the difference between them is that Rosalya would not spread rumours the way Peggy does. So I think Rosa would try to make her understand that she sometimes goes too far which is unfortunate because well, she’s cool to hang out with but if she keeps going like that, she might end up having everyone turning their back on her.

The water fight is honestly quite fun to imagine

Despite what he says in the game, Alexy lost it (and quite significantly)

I mean bro, you’re trying to put a fight against Kim, what did you expect ???

That's all I have for this so I hope you enjoyed reading this !

Wish you the best and see you soon !

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tokoyamisstuff · 4 months

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Breaking Bonds Ch. 7

Synopsis: The Bene Gesserit have their ways to make one obey. Warnings: Angst, noncon, injury, blood, probably more...not proofread. A/N: I've been very hesistant to write this. But I have some terrible days behind me and if I have to suffer then so do you.

"The bear loved the deer, it was obvious. It ripped the deer's throat out, and then licked the dying deer with the most passionate affection."

[Previous Chapter]

⚠️ Dead Dove - Do Not Eat ⚠️

Time sure flies when you're enjoying yourself, so it was no wonder that your departure neared faster than you wanted. Well, in all honesty, you never wanted to leave again - but duty needed your husband elsewhere.

You watched as the servants carried several heavy loads into the ships - furniture and other things from your culture, random purchases to make you feel more at home on Giedi Prime.

"My Countess?" a hand on your shoulder demanded your attention, and when you turned around you were met with the same worried face your mother had not once dropped ever since the day of your arrival. "I told you to keep calling me Y/N."

She nodded hesistantly, both of you watching the Harkonnens prepare for your travel. It did not go past her how your eyes lit up ever so slightly, a smile tugging at the edge of your lips when Rabban came into your field of view, ordering the soldiers around.

"Men like these are more common than one would think" she explained, sorrow lacing her tone. "Most might not be as influental as your husband, but they are all addicted to implement power over others to mask what they lack."

Not wanting to overshadow your goodbye with an argument, you bite back the words lying on your tongue. "Stay wary" was her last warning, "Harkonnen are evil by default."

"Mother, I-" She stopped you right there, raising her hands in a placating manner. "I know, I know. And I wish deeply that his tenderness towards you is genuine. I'm just afraid it won't preserve, that he'll revert back."

"Mother, really, he is not hurting me-"

"Yet" she emphasized, earning an eye-roll from your side. Damn her.

There's not really use to talk this topic to the ground, since at the bottom line she was right - however good he may treat you, it doesn't even remotely outweight the sins he's committed.

Surely, the tightrope between logic and the feelings you held for Rabban was a thin and painful thread. It went beyond all logic, demanded you to put a blind eye to the circumstances outside of your marriage...

...and still, whenever it was just the two of you, whenever you could be your true selves despite past and politics, you felt hopeful that this would all be worth it in the end.

Yes, whatever the future would have in stock for you and Rabban, together you would be able to face it.

"Damn it woman, it's freezing!" You wince as a heavy piece of whale-fur was suddenly draped over your shoulders by the man that had suddenly appeared behind you. "You really have no sense of self-preservation."

You smiled as you clutched the fabric, chuckling at your husband's gruff way of showing affection. His favour was not the only thing making you feel warm and fuzzy inside and out. "Thank you, my Count."

"The servants need your expertise on the market, to buy some supplies for our return" he spoke flatly, pointing towards two maids carrying several baskets. "Treat yourself."

You look up to the man, tilting an eyebrow at the obvious distraction. "Well then, I'll be off" you declare cheekily, holding your mother's hands another time. "We'll bid each other farewell later, mother."

Rabban watched you leave, a tiny bit woeful since he didn't get to spend much time with you those past few days.

"You've raised a remarkable woman" he noted nonchalantly, arms crossed defensive in front of his chest - a subconscious mechanism to protect himself, while appearing so unusual emotionally vulnerable at the same time.

"Indeed" she agrees, yet still spiteful after your folk's history with the Harkonnens and their well-known way to treat their female counterparts. "But with all due respect, I highly doubt you're able to see her true worth...besides carnal pleasure and whatever it is you're trying to achieve with this marriage."

"...she's an innocent soul" he spoke from the heart for a change, despite his struggle to find the right words. "But not the naive kind of way. Y/N knows the cruel way this world operates, and still chooses to do as much good as possible. That takes another kind of strenght, I guess."

Your mother was shocked at this most unexpected depht of his soul, having thought your husband to be just as shallow as both his appearance and attitude might suggest.

Knowing that no answer would suffice to form a bond after decades of war, she chose to dwell in this pleasant revelation in silence - a precursor to the start of something greater.

Lankiveil - the time he had spent here with you made him see not only the planet itself in a whole different light. He was finally able to become fully aware of his feelings for you, and also gained clearance about many other things concerning his life.

Remorse for his deeds, maybe? Never. And yet when it came to you, a sense of honor had been planted inside of him, together with the wish to become different - better - for your sake. A man you could love truly, without shame.

"I'll take good care of her, I promise."

Immediately after the sun had set your spaceship started, though it felt like forever until your husband would finally join you at the special secluded part of the ship.

The creases on his forehead immediately dissolved when he went for a bear hug, lifting you up and twirling you around as both your laughter filled the room.

"Finally I don't have to share you anymore" Rabban grinned mischievously - but the comment hit a nerve, your eyes becoming glossy in an instant at the thought of once again leaving your family behind. "Ah stop being all whiny" his face then contorted in a mixture of helplessness and guilt, "You know I'm not suit for consoling anyone."

Your husband would pull you as close as humanly possible, caughing your lips in a long-awaited kiss. "I'll make sure you meet them again soon" he whispers, the side of his knuckles softly brushing against your cheek...

...just for you to recapture his lips, deepening the former kiss. A gluttural noise of approval left the Beast's throat, increasingly more excited the longer you dragged it out.

"Now let us make sure that we'll soon get our heir..."

____

Much to your discomfort, the person assigned to await you at the main spaceport of Giedi Prime was no one else than Feyd-Rautha.

You had silenced your voice of reason thus far, but seeing this lunatic again painfully reminded you that the domestic times you and Rabban shared have now officially ended.

"Our uncle wants to see you" your in-law urged him, no warm words of welcome or even a remotely polite manner spared for his brother. "Immediately."

"Not now" Rabban waved him off, and for some reason Feyd's lack of violent response was even more confusing and unsettling. "My wife is fatigued. I'll bring her to our quarters first."

Feyd clenched his jaw, motioning his head in an unnatural manner until the bones in his vertebrae started to crack. "Suit yourself" he then surprisingly calmly accepted this outcome, his floating cape making for a grand pose when he rushed off...

...yet not forgetting to taunt you at the first opportunity, at one second when your husband's attention lied elsewhere:

"You had your chance - now you're going down together with him."

No matter the meaning, his words alone made your blood run cold. At first you were contemplating to tell Rabban, but that would most likely end bloody on both ends, which you wanted to avoid if possible.

In the end you chose to stay quiet, waiting in the security of your quarters for your husband's return.

After all, you believed in your husband's promise that no harm would come over you as long as he breathed.

____

"The marriage was not consummated."

It was the Bene Gesserit Gaius Helen Moiham itself who spoke first, as always disrespecting the Harkonnen custom of letting a man lead the trial.

Rabban blinked in confusion at the accusation, unbelieving this was the reason he was called here - especially since you were given a deadline still three months from now. "Beg your pardon?"

"Your..." There was a long pause of disregard until the Baron continued. "'Wife', if we may still call her this way, visited our prime physician last month, due to trouble with finding sleep. He confided to us just now, apparently sympathy has weakened his spirit."

Wladimir sighed deeply, as he once again realized his words ignited no spark in his nephew's brain. If it wasn't for him raging himself out on that very same doctor beforehand just after receiving the information, he wouldn't be able to appear this calm right now - at least on the outside he was.

"Boy, I've long since grew tired of your incompetence. Do not make me explain every triviality to you. The abilities of Suk Doctors are well known."

Mentally calculating when you first shared a bed, the dots finally connected: They can read a human bodies like an open book, and during his examination he must've noticed that you were still untouched back then.

"That bastard..." Rabban rumbled between gritted teeth, almost unable to remain within his subservient posture as a new kind of rage - a protective one - was flowing through his veins.

"A disappointment ever since his birth" the Holy Mother jabs at his parenthood, and his uncle joins right in. "I thought this easy task even an imbecile like you could not mess up. By all means, I thought this was the only thing you're good for."

"L-Let me explain!" the Beast utters the words before thinking them through, as if bargaining for your currently uncertain future. "I have...destructive tendencies. Hard to control, and unpredictable. It took me some time to resort to more harmless ways of affinity, so I wouldn't break her. But we have started trying for your heir, and will continue to do so. If you will only-"

"Silence!" The Bene Gesserit did not even need to use her ability to cut Rabban off, and fearing for your life he instantly flinched back to face the ground. "No more excuses and delays. There's only a 50% chance that you'll give us the girl we need, and shall you fall during the imminent war on Arrakis, you only have this one try."

Oh, so this is why they are in such a hurry. He almost felt insulted at their lack of trust in his fighting - and other -skills.

It had always been the plan to revive Lankiveil's Bene Gesserit bloodline through preserving both his and his brother's genes - that's probably the same intention as to why he spotted Feyd with one of the witches just after his celebration the other day.

But the Duke's troops are clearly outnumbered, and unprepared at that. As long as his death was not part of their schemes, there's no way he'd fail to return.

But then again-

"Did he even listen to my words?" Impatient, she now turned to the Baron again, after Rabban had dissociated through the absurdity of this whole scenario. "Probably not, there's never been much thought behind those eyes."

"That could be an advantage, for a change: A weak mind is easier to dominate."

"Wait, wha-" The echo of the Holy Mother's voice was invading Rabban's mind before he could even finish his sentence, let alone try to find a way out of the threat. It was a simple command, to be performed instantly.

"Go to your wife and do what you have to do, no matter what or how long it takes, to make her fall with child."

____

Each person that had been affected by 'the voice' describes it differently - for your husband it was as simple as his mind worked in general: a tunnel view on his vision.

He felt as if his brain was shut down, senses and sanity only able to make out anything required to complete this task. Other than that he was on autopilot, incapable of stopping whatever would happen from now on.

The Beast returned to your chambers right away, practically breaking in the door as wild eyes searched for his dear wife. Ironically you noticed him first, approaching the menacing man blissfully unaware.

"My love, you're back" you cheered, smiling widely as you tiptoed in his direction. "What did your uncle want to talk to you about?"

He turned around, expression undecipherable and soon your curiosity was replaced with dread. Much to add to your confusion, the bulge you saw forming in his pants at this unfit timing made you taken aback. "Rabban? What's wro-"

Without a warning he balled a fist in your hair, practically dragging you to the bed before you were even able to process the pain or what was happening. You yelped as he harshly threw you onto the mattress, eagerly ripping the thin fabric from your body without leaving you a chance to defend yourself.

No words escaped your throat except for both shocked and terrified noises, and you quickly realized that fighting it was to no avail, since your husband was skilled in getting what he wanted.

...yes, you always knew what your husband was capable of yet chose to ignore it, shove it back into your head so you could continue this illusion of a blissful marriage.

Maybe that was karma, revenge from the afterlife and all his former victims.

Punishment for loving an unloveable abomination.

Rabban could only helplessly watch, a mere bystander in his own body as he saw himself doing the same thing to you he did to so many other undeserving women.

Before he got to know - no, got to love you.

The time he had spent with you was short compared to decades of madness and cruelty, but it felt like his life had started only after you stepped into it.

You had teached him how to become human, made him realize things he never knew: About himself, about his place in this universe and dreams and aspirations he never allowed himself to be aware of.

It all was meaningless now - with his reason to live literally being crushed in his own hands.

Breaking you apart, physically as well as mentally.

You were helplessly lying on your stomach as he straddled your lower body, his erection pressing to your behind and your arms meanly contorted behind your back. He was so painfully heavy that you lost feeling in your legs while he almost calmly ripped the remaining underclothing to shreds.

Afraid as you knew what to anticipate you started begging, shamelessly pitiful words pouring from your lips until your husband pressed your head into the pillow, dampening the sound.

Truly weird, how Rabban's instinct told him that he might be able to snap out of it if your pleas would dring through to his conscience - so naturally, he'd do anything to shut it out.

You were spun around to lie on your back now, his tight grip on your wrists making you double over in pain. No words would leave his lips except for animalistic grunts, his movements static and robotic. When he'd touch the inside of your thigh, his fingers left a purple mark as he forcefully opened your legs while you tried pressing them together with all your might.

One last "Please, no..." came over your lips as he aligned himself with your entrance, balling a fist in the sheets as he entered you without preparation despite your begs.

You yelped, arching your back to no avail as his full lenght rammed inside, stretching your insides and hitting your cervix. Rabban groaned deeply, his eyes rolling in the back of his head at the familiar sensation.

As he continued your body would begin doing it's natural deed, shame washing over you when you realized the hotness you felt was in fact not burning hate but most likely an orgasm building up. You clawed at his back, tried to push his face and chest away from you, but it was no use - he was simply too strong.

Rabban had always been so gentle before, it broke your heart just to think about how badly you wanted this most careful touch on your skin until now.

Why now, after all this time?

All those blissful, intimate moments only to now being used like a toy to lett of some steam? Was that really all you were to him?!

He's waited so long until he'd share your bed, it didn't make any sense - no, it made perfect sense.

A cruel, sadistic Harkonnen joke. Obtaining your trust and even affection through putting up this human facade, just to enjoy your world scatter once again when he revealed his true colors.

That was it: Glossu Rabban Harkonnen was going to kill you, for sure this time.

"I hate you" you finally, ultimatively spoke, scattered and full of overwhelming sadness. "I hate you so, so much. I hate-" Your husband pressed his large, calloused hand onto your face to effectively shut you up - his fingers covering your nose as well, making it difficult to breathe.

But no matter how hard it was to keep focus, your eyes stayed locked on his - piercing him with fear, hate and disgust where he once hoped to find the slightest bit of adoration.

The Beast pulled your legs over your shoulder to thrust even deeper, grabbing your hip bones and mercilessly ramming inside until his pelvic met yours.

Your muffled screams filled the room as he drove you over the edge, but much to your horror it was not the end as you felt him get hard again, his cock still inside of you as he continued.

Only once he would still for a second - when after hours his peripher vision made out blood mixing with other bodily fluids - yet it wasn't enough to break him out of his trance.

The night was excruciatingly long, exhaustion overcoming your body way sooner than he was done with his deed...

...and then, suddenly, after his mind decided it was enough, he stopped.

Your husband's memories of the past hours washed over him in a tide of guilt, horrified to see your limp and abused self next to him. He wanted to console you, cradle you in his arms like he did so many times before - but just when he reached out your eyes snapped open and you quickly shuffled back into the nearest corner.

"P-Please, Rabban, not again..." you stuttered, eyes swollen and voice sore from crying. "I'm ble-eding, I can't-"

In your shock you were unable to make out the shift in his behavior, the awareness he had regained. All you could make up in this man anymore was the face of the enmy - you were back to ground zero.

"Y/N, my love-" The nickname died in his mind, knowing he was undeserving of calling you that title after all the harm he's done. Even from this distance he could make out a bruise shaped like a perfect handprint of his, right on your clavicula. "Let me take you to a healer, at least."

His call for assistance was audible in all hallways of the whole complex, and soon a hoard of servants came to assess the situation. You were sobbing on the bed in a fetal curl, catatonic and unresponsive to the maidens. Just a short while ago they had locked the door from the outside, ignoring your pleas for help as you hammered onto the wooden surface.

Of course it was due to the Baron's order, but you felt betrayed either way...

...by them, your husband, fate, the universe - your own goddamn heart.

Rabban couldn't bear to look at you as they carried your battered self away, knowing he would break down if he saw the aftermath of his weakness.

Nothing he could say or do would make up for even a fraction of what he had done to you with that very body that he had sworn to sacrifice for your protection. He looked down at his own hands, tainted with the first blood that ever made him sick, balling his fists as he grabbed a random servant, crushing his skull with the impact.

"They'll pay a thousandfold for hurting my dear wife."

What a farce those words were, for he knew his place. Amongst the military, which was all he knew. With his family, where he had accepted his part a long time ago.

And in the rest of the known universe, he was aware of his insignificance. He could want revenge all the way, but he won't be getting it against such an all-powerful foe with a way higher social status.

"Several broken ribs and a bruised hipbone" Piter would later report, not that someone asked him. He was just tired of having to clean up behind Rabban's messes.

The words drang to his ears, but the Beast remained mute ever since you were dragged away from him, the images of that fateful event eating him alive.

But he deserved to know about the extent of the only crime he ever truly regretted.

"As for the internal injuries...most likely incapable of conceiving, after" he gestured around, eyeing your husband with discontent, "All this."

If it wasn't for you becoming barren, no one would've bat an eye. It was the most normal thing in the world for them, probably one of their tamest pleasures even - but unlike Rabban, they were able to hold back when required.

The Baron listened carefully to Piter's elaboration, gladly this time without the Bene Gesserit, for she had already parted ways from Giedi Prime. After a while of burying his greasy forehead into his hands, he declared stoic:

"Kill her."

No answer, just pure shock visible on Rabban's face, his mouth agape but his mind simulataneously wwiped blank from any solution.

"You heard me, get rid of her" Wladimir repeated before his nephew could object. "If we send her back to Lankiveil in this state, they'll find out what happened and accuse us of ill intentions from the start of this alliance. They shall never even lay eyes on her corpse, otherwise they'll declare war. We tell them it was an accident, that her corpse cannot be retrieved. Without proof they cannot gain the other House's goodwill for an alliance."

"But uncle, can't we- I mean I keep her?" He gulped, dreading the answer he already knew.

"What for? Without being able to give you a heir, she's only a waste of space, a threat if her peers would find out." His tone was almost disgusted, now that you did not serve a purpose anymore. "And as far as I've heard, she was bad influence on you either way."

Rabban expected his uncle's rage to be directed at him. Screams, lectures, physical punishment even - but much to his surprise, all he got was a reaffirming speech.

"We've all been young any blinded by primal emotions once, boy. Distract yourself, focus on your work and find yourself another plaything. People are replacable - but your destiny isn't, Nu-Baron."

Lies. Lies over lies over lies, encoated in fancy words and false flattery.

Where he had once idolatrously admired his uncle, his newfound awareness reduced this sentiment to nothing but pure, corrupting hatred.

But in the end, one particular thing held some truth: Neither Rabban nor you could escape this fate, after all that had happened...

...and the more he thought about it, your equally disturbed husband was about to fall astray from the path you had led him on, letting doubt and cowardice spit dark thoughts into his mind.

What if his uncle was right after all?

There was no other way around this, no way of sparing your life. As hard as it was to admit, it was crystal clear that someone like Rabban could never outwit the likes of his uncle and the Bene Gesserit.

Their wish was law.

"I can kill her whenever I please" he tried to convince himself, following a trail to the almost empty infarmy as he gathered courage for the impossible. "Yes, I don't need her. Never have. I'm done playing house. I'll make it quick and then continue my old - no, real life."

That pathetic attempt to convince himself was abruptly disturbed when he noticed a different voice than yours coming out of your chambers - a male one.

"I've always wondered how you did it" the baritone voice laughed evily, in between your weak pleas. "Taming the Beast like that, I mean. Might as well try it myself!"

Rabban's steps turned into the fastest run he was capable of, slamming the doors open only to see one of his own henchmen lying on top of you in the sickbed.

"Sorry, boss" the soldier spoke way too relaxed, not understanding the severity of his situation as he slammed your thorso down onto the mattress again. "I wanted to do you a favor and get rid of her...just wanted to have some fun first-"

Rabban's fist hit the chin of his former ally before the latter could chose some wiser last words, sending him flying through the room.

You hid under the sheets again, unsucessfully trying to dampen the noise of a cracking skull and other obscenities with a pillow as Rabban turned his threats into practice. He killed the man with his bare hands, gutting him alive all while screaming like he had lost even the last bit of his sanity.

A violent tremor ran through your body, wanting to intervene and telling him to stop violating the already unrecognizeable corpse, yet just when you opened your mouth his wild eyes fell on you.

"Are you alright?" he panted heavily, the bloodied Beast rushing to your side, unwillingly making you cower in fear. Tears dwelled in your eyes, the memory of what he had done to you still so fresh and now mixed with having witnessed this brutality you always knew he was capable of for the first time.

"W-Why?" you whimmer as the dam broke, seeing the Beast fall to his knees on your bedside. "Why would you go out of your way to save me, after- after you almost killed me yourself last night?"

"Y/N..I-" He looked so forlorn, it made no sense whatsoever. You were traumatized, tired, every bone in your body was aching after the ordeal he had put you through...

...and yet, seeing him like this - tears you never thought he was able to cry before now streaming over his jaw - made you feel sorry for this wretch.

"The Bene Gesserit, they used their voice on me, they-" His vocal cords betrayed him several times, shaky hands hovering over your fragile, broken body in an attempt to not give in to the need of your closeness. "Still, it's my fault alone. My mind twisted their order into...this, I don't know why, I-I'm just so, so sorry..."

The thought to even do so much as to lay a finger on you never even crossed his mind, and yet...

"I failed you" he roars painfully, desperate. Fear and violence was all he ever knew to resolve conflict - but right here, right now with you it was worth nothing.

Yes, his Uncle was right: He's worthless. You were better off without him. He was dangerous, unable to live a normal life - one filled with the happiness and security you deserved.

"Rabban..."

The Beast's teary eyes looked at you unbelieving when he felt your hand on his scalp, bottom lip trembling as your words cut through any hope he had left:

"...you need to kill me."

He does nothing but gulp at your words, dry lips burning from the salt of his own tears.

All emotions seem have dissipated within you. You were calm, too calm to be precize, considering your inescapable situation...

...maybe that was what they'd call acceptance of fate.

"It's true what your subordinate said, isn't it?" Looking at the ceiling lamp, you woefully realize there's no way to ever see the sun again. "...I'm afraid so."

Of course it is. Your immunity had always been tied to your fertility. And now that it's most likely gone, as the doctors have informed you...

"...your people will not grant me a quick death. They'll-" Chosing to not finish explaining the nightmarish possibilities popping up in your mind, you shake your head in exasperation. "Rabban, you will be merciful, I know it. It has to be you, I beg you!"

"Please, Y/N..." You hesistantly cover his hands with yours, both of you feel the other trembling. "Don't make me do this. Anything but this..."

A sole tear escaped your eye, even after you had already shed more than enough for this lifetime. You lean towards your husband, foreheads touching as his palms start to caress your cheekbones.

"You can do it, my love..." you whisper, slowly leading his shaky hands down to your throat. "I love you, Rabban."

You smiled.

Even in the face of doom you chose kindness.

"I should've said it sooner...I love you too, Y/N. More and way longer than you could ever imagine."

_____

"Didn't think to find you here of all places."

Feyd had been sent to look for his brother, and while initially being in no rush, his frustration grew when even after a whole day had passed, his men were unable to find him.

Rabban did not turn towards the voice behind his back, standing there far at the outskirts of the slave pits, staring down the huge cliff dividing it from Harkonnen civilization.

Secretly, a small part of Glossu was hoping his brother would seize the opportunity to push him...

...but Feyd merely came closer, warily staring down the sheer bottomless pit they used to dump all of the slave's corpses.

"What are you doing?" The Beast wouldn't stop looking downwards, tone melancholic as he wrung out the words. "Biding my wife a last goodbye, I guess."

"...heh, not bad." his brother retorted unfazed, amused even. "But what if-"

"Even if they did find her body" Rabban harshly asserted his dominance. "Not even her mother would be able to recognize her. Got it?"

This answer earned another approving chuckle from the sadistic sociopath."I'm impressed. Didn't think you had it in you, to be honest."

In all honesty, Feyd had contemplated getting rid of you instead, as an act of brotherly assistance if one may call it that way. More or less at last, mainly to get back at you for refusing the opportunity to poison Rabban back then.

Who could've thought you were stupid enough to fall for someone like Rabban, after all? Well, it seems like that backfired either way.

"It's good to have you return to your senses, brother" Feyd declared, a single pat on his shoulder underlining the sincerity of his reassurance.

One last look before Rabban was finally able to tear his eyes away from the black pit beneath him, and towards his family - his old life.

"Yeah, it's good to be back..."

____

A/N: NONONO DON'T CRY THIS ISN'T THE END I'M SORRY

[Next Chapter]

#dune #dune part 2 #dune part two #beast rabban #glossu rabban #beast rabban / reader #glossu rabban / reader #house harkonnen #noncon tw

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dangerous-advantage · 1 year

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why is usagi yoimbo so fucking good? (an analysis.)

usagi yojimbo is one of the most interesting, well-told, intelligent, heartfelt stories i have ever read. it's stories are nuanced and likable, supported by characters and relationships you root for.

it's simple, balanced, and when things get serious, you feel it.

and if anyone had recommended it to me, i probably wouldn't have read it.

(spoilers for usagi yojimbo: volume two; jizo. fair warning: this will probably go long.)

i picked up uyv2 on a whim. i wasn't really planning on reading it, and if i did, i didn't think i would particularly like it.

but it was related to my current hyperfixation (they didn't have 'the last ronin' in stock, which was what i was looking for), and it was a special day, so i thought, "fuck it, i'll buy this."

a couple days later, i finished it and immediately needed more. yada yada, tale as old as time.

but what exactly made it so good? a lot of people will get into media and be hooked by the very first installment. usagi yojimbo, for me, required a little bit of faith.

i started with uyv2: issue one, aka 'shades of green.' if you're a tmnt fan, this is a great jumping off point, because it lures you in with tmnt lore all while putting intrigue in your mind about what these other guys are doing, i guess.

there are callbacks to past comics that might interest you by creating a greater sense of lore and history. you'll find yourself eventually wandering back and maybe reading the next installment, just because.

this is very good, because the next installment following the shades of green arc (at least, in the usagi yojimbo saga: book one') are the "side stories," which will stick in your mind until your thoughts are overtaken by the funny rabbit guy, and you give in.

i love shades of green as much as the next guy, but damn, those side stories fuck. even if you didn't give a shit about the turtles and only read the stories (and maybe the origin tale), it is my belief that you would know basically everything you need to know.

jizo is what originally "hooked" me. in the og comics, it was a side story for the first part of the shades of green arc, which was ingenious, seeing as it's fucking amazing.

in my humble opinion, jizo is an example of sakai at his best. it's eight pages long with three panels per page, each following the same composition. its so simple, and yet, throughout my read-through of volume two, i found myself returning to it again and again.

it starts off with an image of a road, with a series of travelers passing by. a woman toting a small stone statue brings it to the edge of the road and starts on an iconic sakai infodump, with might disinterest some, but fully delighted my autistic mind!

(here she is, by the way.)

she explains (by talking to the statute) that said statue is a representation of 'jizo-sama,' "guardian of the souls of lost children. her son was murdered five days ago on this very road, and the ones responsible, a party of bandits, have not yet been caught.

her hope is that by praying to the statue, nobody else will suffer the same fate.

she also explains some lore-- that the souls of lost children are "doomed to pile stones in the dry river bed of souls." by offering pebbles at the statue's base, she hopes to ease her sons' burden.

she then leaves, noting a chill in the air, and promises to bring back a coat for the statue the following day, in order to keep it warm.

now, by all accounts, this is an example of bad storytelling. just info-dumping is uninteresting to the audience, and clunky. well, here we are reminded that actually, if your story is worth telling, nobody gives a shit if you commit "writing sins" (see 'lord of the rings' for more examples of this. yes, uy is good enough to be compared to lotr.)

but anyway, the day progresses. there are lots of fun details in these scenes --

--like this guy ^, who we meet/meet another person akin to later on in volume two (music from heaven). we also see a couple of people make offerings on their way past, which is nice (:

night falls, and with it comes-- holy shit-- its the funny rabbit guy again!

he's alone, just passing by. he doesn't even seem to notice the statue on the side of the road.

we then get some of my all-time favorite uy panels, and a perfectly-executed scene showcasing some of usagi's core beliefs and character.

so the bandits (yes, those bandits) attack. and usagi five-v-one's them. the guards come, clean things up, etc etc. more usagi characterization shines through. and usagi leaves.

all the while, jizo-sama observes.

but wait. if you're anything like me, you might notice a small detail between in two frames.

that's right-- the statue of jizo smiles. which could be creepy in any other context, but its only for a single panel, so you might assume it was just a quirk of the artwork on that one page.

but, no.

in the morning, the woman comes back.while wrapping the statute in a coat, she says, "huh? your expression has changed-- you look more at peace-- but that's impossible! isn't it?"

she ultimately decides not to worry about it, but does mention that it'll probably cause more people to be willing to give offerings as well. which leaves us with our final panel.

so. what exactly does jizo accomplish?

well, a lot of things. it sets up worldbuilding for the more 'mystical' side of uy, introduces us to sakai's ability to make you feel like you've been punched in the gut in a good way, and characterizes usagi using only eight of the twenty-four panels that make up this story. in which, he doesn't say a word.

but beyond that. why does this work so well?

for me, a part of it is the inversion of the idea of "fate." let me explain-- in a lot of stories like this, there's this underlying trope of the "chosen one" or that things will end up a certain way. while these stories aren't bad, i generally find myself uninterested in the idea of beings beyond our comprehension pulling the strings for characters that are "special."

these characters are chosen ones. they're supposed to know everything that will go down, because they're important. whether or not fate actually plays a part, you get this idea that they were always supposed to be 'chosen,' in some way or another.

uy doesn't do that. while there is some "meddling" implied, it's not because usagi is the specialest boy ever. he's just some guy making his way through japan while trying not to starve. just... figuring himself out.

in thise story, the only people who know the full extent of the narrative are ourselves and the statue of jizo. the woman shows no indication that she's heard of the bandits' capture, and for usagi, this is just another night.

it's meaningful because we get to see all these parts of the story come together, while knowing we are the only ones this is meant for. this isn't a grand story or some epic of old. it's just a small, intimate moment of retribution.

the gods-- or, in this case, jizo-sama-- doesn't care about heroism outside of this moment. it's left vague whether or not the statue or any being it represents put this moment into fruition. if anything, it could just be a coincidence, and the statue is smiling at in gratitude.

regardless, it feels so much more meaningful than if it had been done any other way. usagi is just a character traversing these lands, weaving in and out of stories, many he will never know the full extent of. and that feels real. genuine.

i do think that this changes a bit, later on in the comics, but this beginning sense-- that usagi is just travelling through a greater world, pulled this way and that for no particular reason (unless otherwise noted) is very refreshing for a series like this.

jizo does a lot of other stuff, too-- like that core characterization i mentioned above-- but this post is long enough. i wanted to get more into other aspects of why uy is so good, but there's just so much, and honestly, you should read it yourself if you haven't already to find out what. (at the very least, read jizo-- it's short, but very, very good.)

i might do more of these for the rest of uyv2 and how it hooked me, but for now, i this this works well enough to begin answering the question of why this series is so good.

(okay, i caved-- the core characterization is his unwillingness to fight unless it's necessary. now, go read jizo!)

#tw blood #blood #yes btw that is leonardo #another win for the leosagi community /lh #long post #tw long post #analysis #my writing #my analysis #usagi yojimbo #uy #undescribed #i was gonna do an entire thing but like.... maybe some other time.#i have stuff i should be doing instead lmao (though this was fun)#less picture this time guys i'm sorry #i just didn't want to bog it down with stuff i felt it didnt need #unedited #sorry about that but i really should be writing my fic lmao

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clickerflight · 1 year

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Whump Week: Stay still

@week-of-whump

Master list

Part 4

This one is probably the weakest of all the ones I've written. NGL, Anisha is kind of hard to whump because of how tough she is.

Content: Betrayal, restrained, listening to a friend suffer, head slam

..................................................

"Anisha! Welcome!" Anya said. The shopkeeper was more enthusiastic about seeing Anisha than she normally was, but Anisha wasn't about to complain.

"Good morning, Anya," Anisha said, picking up a basket to grab the potion ingredients Matsu sent her to get. He usually got his ingredients from another shop where his friend worked, but there were some shortages on certain ingredients so he had everyone searching shops farther out through the city to get what he needed. This was one of the stores Anisha had on her routes when there were shortages. "You seem pretty happy today."

"Oh, yes," Anya said, flushing a little. "I just got a shipment of Goran berry jelly in."

"Ooh! That's actually one of the things I was here for! That's sure to make you a nice profit with the shortages going around."

Anya nodded. "Absolutely. I haven't unpacked it yet. Would you like to come into the back with me and we'll get you set up?"

"Sure," Anisha said, following behind Anya, her tail flicking back and forth happily.

Anya pointed to a box and said, "Help yourself. I need to go make a call real quick. I'll be up front when you're ready to make your purchase."

"Thanks," Anisha said. She dug through the box, humming happily to herself. There was plenty of jelly in here, more than enough. She loaded up what Matsu said he would need, not wanting to over-buy and make stock even more limited for other potion makers and ritual casters. She hesitated, ear twitching as she sensed something odd nearby. A portal? Who was making a portal in this part of the city.

She reached out through the bonds to make sure it wasn't one of her teammates, but they were still invested in their hunt through the shops.

She stood up and turned in time to hear someone running down the hall and into the room. She caught a glimpse of weapons, and she dropped her basket, flaring her wings and screeching. She dodged the first attacker, but more were piling into the room and they were swinging around weapons that looked to be some form of taser. So, they were looking to capture her, not kill her.

She slammed her wing into someone's gut, sweeping away another attacker as she tried to get to the door. They wouldn't be able to catch her if she made it to open air.

She pushed a sense of urgency and danger through the bond with her team, trying to warn the others that something was wrong and get them to come help.

Something caught her in the leg and she flinched away as power jolted through her. It didn't really hurt, but it made her muscles unreliable.

She tried to get away, but someone else jabbed her, and another, and another until it was all she could do to keep on her feet.

"Tough one, aren't ya!" someone called, and another one slammed into the back of her neck, putting her on the ground. It still didn't hurt since dragons have always had to be somewhat lightning proof, but her muscles wouldn't respond to her anymore as they were overloaded with signals.

She whined, trying to get free. Someone pinned her to the ground, rubber gloved hands binding her hands and ankles, tying up her wings and putting an anti magic collar around her throat.

They backed off, as did all of the weapons keeping her there, and she thrashed, using her legs and tail to send three of her assailants crashing to the ground.

"Someone control her!" one of the fallen growled.

A gruff man, dressed just differently enough from the others to mark him as the leader, pulled out his phone and speed dialed someone.

“Mech team, do you have the package?” he asked loudly as Anisha rolled again, snapping at the legs of the people around her.

The phone was on speaker as the man on the other side said, “Package is secured, sir.”

“Oi, scaleon,” the leader said. “Stay still, or your friend’s gonna get it.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Anisha growled.

“Mech 1.”

“Yessir.”

Through the phone’s small speakers, crackling with the range of it, came a scream that Anisha recognized. She fell very still, listening to Kira’s screams as they petered off, heavy breathing just barely reaching her ears. She glared at the captain of this team.”Not very sportsmanlike of you.”

“I don’t have to be. Mech team. Meet us at the rendezvous.”

Someone grabbed Anisha by the hair, slamming her head hard into the ground. She wasn’t badly hurt, despite the hit, but she was still quite stunned as her brain settled again, making it easy for the men to carry her out of the shop, Anya looking a little guilty, though a whole lot richer.

@whumpsday

Part 6

#whump #week-of-whump #whump week #whump challenge #stay still #betrayal #restrained #listening to a friend suffer #head slam #She is very tough #and pretty hard to capture and hurt #however #her friends are much squishier than her

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animentality · 2 years

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Yeah gender is fake. I am glad people are starting to realize.

Now please start connecting the dots and see that gender is a set of rules made to keep women and girls small and subservient. Please work w radfems to tear it down. No child should ever be told they are playing with a “girl/boy” toy again

I don't get terfs though. I don't.

I know you probably are one, bc you've been stalking my blog for weeks.

How could you claim to be a feminist then uphold this idea that biology matters more than anything else?

Insist that men trying to be women are demeaning themselves in the process?

Or that they must be doing it for amoral reasons?

Isn't that just ragging on feminism too?

Biology is not destiny. Feminism broken down to its roots should destroy the idea that sex and gender are so fundamental to who we are.

You should be able to break that boundary. It's so bizarre how terfs have embraced this patriarchal idea of gender to enforce this idea that women are women and men are men.

A woman is whatever you want it to be.

A tomboy, a butch lesbian, a high femme, a she/they enby, a trans woman.

Femininity is a construct that can be remade however we see fit.

Why the fuck is it so hard for terfs to be accepting?

Why the fuck is it so wrong for a "man" to want to be a woman or a "woman" to want to be a man?

Why isn't that fluidity allowed?? What is your problem with it???

I can't imagine why a terf would think any trans woman is somehow evil without them just being a fucking bigot.

You don't know every single trans person.

You also don't know every single "man" either.

Too many of them think trans women are just men trying to steal their experiences or are predators in the making.

Those man hating ideas are precisely why you're a fucking laughing stock.

You really want to kill all men because they're all rapists and dogs that need controlling?

Please. Congrats on not understanding how the world works. And never meeting another human fucking being.

And upholding yet another sexist idea that men are just violent lustful sinners who don't want anything else in the world but to fuck you.

That's horrible.

Misogyny is horrible too of course. But it's a snake eating itself, trying to go the opposite way and say well all men-

All people are different, you pathetic shrivelling worm.

All people live by social systems we taught each other, but they could be changed if we wanted.

And that change starts from the ground up.

You fucking terfs have been ragging on me for weeks and sending me angry anons.

First off ive been here for 9 years, almost 10.

You don't scare or upset me. I'm used to anon hate.

Secondly, I'm not a fucking freak like you. I'm perpetually online but unlike you, I choose to give people the benefit of the doubt.

My mom raised me to try and feel compassion for everyone, even people who are different than me. To try and understand the suffering of others. To live in another person's shoes and appreciate a pain other than my own.

You are never going to convince me to hate any group of people based entirely on stereotypes and fiery rhetoric constructed by fucking fascists.

You'll never convince me to hurt a minority with a high suicide rate and the likehood to never make it past 30.

A minority which started the whole fucking LGBT movement.

I identify as nonbinary but I feel a kindred spirit with trans people because I've spent my whole life uncomfortable with certain pronouns too.

It was such a relief finding friends willing to call me by the right name.

The right pronouns.

I know what it's like to feel just a little of that disconnect. That discomfort.

Feeling like your insides don't match your outsides and that society is calling you the wrong thing, every day. And wishing it were different. Kinder. More accepting.

And even if I fucking didn't understand that.

You'll never turn me as cruel as you.

You fucking terf rats.

I've rambled too long so I'll just leave you the most essential message of this ramble, eloquently put, by Hozier.

#transgender

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blazingstaro · 1 year

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Hi hello! General update on me and why I've been like vacant until recently

TW: medical/surgery/infection mentioned

It's been a long series of freakin' "why me"

So for the past month as of this following Monday, I've dealt with a stubborn infection on my right big toe. One itty bitty spot along the cuticle, all puffy and angry. Very tender. I have no idea what caused it, as I discovered it shortly after taking a shower.

After a week, I managed to get the inflammation down, but boy it was clearly infected. I tried my best to disinfect it with what little I had, but I may have unintentionally chemically burned my skin

My skin is quite sensitive to chemicals, but I thought that rubbing alcohol wouldn't bother it much. Either way, the infection was in a precarious spot and proved difficult to just get the goods into with the nail in the way.

A very not so great condition nail by the way. Probably what ultimately led to its infection.

This past Monday, I had to get the toenail surgically removed. Luckily for me, it was pretty much ready to go and just needed a little help. That thing was preventing my infection from fully healing. I'm glad it's gone, since it was damaged like 6 years ago and didn't grow back right. This was inevitable. I've been liberated

One funny thing is that the doctor was kinda excited to pluck it off omg. I was the second one that day she had to do this for, and she seemed STOKED. My case wasn't the worse she had seen either. That was a relief LOL

Doctors and their quirks, gotta love 'em

She was very sweet and genuine with me, so good times! 10/10 would love her care again. I was in great hands!

But the pain didn't stop there

Oh no

Then. The gauze got stuck. For 3. Whole. Days. It was an antibiotic gauze, but it didn't need to be there that long. I just got it off last night with incredible, indescribable amounts of pain and suffering with hot water, soap, and the will of GOD

However. The nightmare doesn't end there

Here's the thing. I live in the USA.

I'm unemployed.

And don't have insurance.

Now I have the doom of my impending, brand new ✨ medical debt✨. I don't even know how much it's doing to be. I fear it'll be absurd. I had numbing shots, a douse of saline water, and a little elbow grease. That was my treatment. Hoping and praying that Medicaid accepts my recent application so I don't have to pay anything. Thank god antibiotics and ibuprofen are cheap, and my pharmacy gives discounts to those without insurance. There is kindness in the eaves of this dumpster fire of a country

It cost $221 USD just to be seen. Right up and front.

So if all things go to against my favor, I'll have to open emergency commissions and/or donations because dear god it costs an arm and a leg to just exist here. I'll be sure to provide a follow up post on when I hear back from folks. Right now I'm in a place of anticipation and occasional physical suffering

I'll live. The pain is temporary, and better than having it long term

So August kinda sucked for lil' ol' me, and I'm still dealing with pain because of, well, fresh surgical wound on my still quite angry toe. Now it's angrier, but it'll heal thankfully. Hopefully. It doesn't look too happy, but I've got antibiotics up the nine and now I have full access to the whole thing with the gauze out of the way. And I can add my own healing ointment that was helping the skin heal prior to my toenail getting harvested

Though this has definitely put a cold hard stop to my page production and I'm running low on stock, so I'm gonna try my best these following weeks to hustle while nursing this wound

Welp that's all about my personal life situation

Love you guys! Stay healthy! 💜 AND DRINK WATER!

#blazin beeps #blazingstaro beeps #blazin news #medical #health #surgery #✨medical debt✨#thank you usa healthcare system /sarcasm #doctor was great though no shade #gotta hustle on pages now though oh boy

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hells-fvry · 7 months

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“kinky” + Heat™ / ( mayhaps Alpha-Omega ) — (( … *shoves Alastor @ Husk because rut/heat is a Bitch and alastor hates that So Is He* lmao it’s those damn prey instincts rip ))

send me a "kinky" + up to three kinks and I'll write a starter utilizing said kinks (X) @burning-fcols

It was a familiar buzz beneath his fur in how it started, Husk left annoyed, but more so confused as to just what, or rather who in the hotel had sent his instincts into a tailspin with so few of them suffering from such base animal instincts. The scent was both familiar, and yet evasive in its drawing tug to get Husk to round the bar and follow, it one he had no doubt smelled before, but had remained unaffected in what it was thanks to how much alcohol he used to consume. Amazing what having a purpose could do to help one better themselves.

Following the scent up the stairs, it struck Husk just how he knew it even before he met the end of the trail. Stupid deer was probably repressing it again, a plight he'd heard Al complain about a time or two before, leaving Husk the only one able to identify it with how long he'd known the other man. Well, Niffty perhaps recognized it as well, if she had the means to even smell it. He didn't know just what kind of demon the little lady was, and he wasn't about to ask.

Standing stock outside the radio demon's door, it hadn't dawned on him that by now Alastor could smell his own whiskey-laced scent as it was drawn out by the deer's close proximity, Husk unable to will his feet to move as instinct fought with common sense.

#muse: husker #burning-fcols #suggestive tw

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n0phis · 2 years

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working on a couple bigger things, such as an in depth DSMP character design (that i havent shared yet, my pride and joy) and a VERY cool art trade BUT! again, my ask box is always open for (dsmp/mcyt) requests !! a few are sitting there but i have ideas for them n wanna stock up to do as warmups around the bigger pieces >:) and anything even vaguely connected to mcyt is fair game! i probably wont know too much about what other ccs get up to outside of sbi & co and a few others, but there's always the chance i have so feel free to req other stuff! (like slimecicle cinematic universe, osmp, sbi rust.etc) i like fantasy more than reality, but i'll obv do a few Funny Streamer Moments here & there :)

anwyays uh yeah ! long winded as always but . the Box is always open for yalls ideas it rly rly rly helps, i often suffer from art block due to lack of inspo so having stuff to fall back on is incredible (exactly what im feeling rn which reminded me to ask, having these asks literally cured my block) so!!!! YEHADJN

#tham talks #also gonna be organizing my posts with more tags so :)

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suzukiblu · 3 years

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Ko-fi Subscriptions

Hello! I'm going to try starting monthly Ko-fi subs, for the interested! I'll be offering tiers with mini-commissions, sketches, meta, and an original serial story about a snarky but practical woman who accidentally rescues a superhuman lab experiment and their road trip to run away from the morally dubious corporation that created him. There will be humor, epitragic bromance, badass women, and at least one or two occurrences of Only One Bed. Also, sexy times.

The serial will update biweekly; all other tier rewards will be monthly.

My Ko-fi can be found here. Any questions, please feel free to ask!

Subscription tiers:

15 USD - monthly 1k story commission

10 USD - monthly sketch commission

5 USD - monthly five headcanons-style meta

3 USD - biweekly original serial updates

And as well, here's a read-more preview of the original serial's first installment, for those of you who'd like a sample!

“This is the worst idea ever,” Leah informed her phone. Emma hummed distractedly on the other end, no doubt up to her elbows in cooking something delicious. Leah wished she was there to poke it. And also eat it. Assuming it was kosher, anyway.

“Two weeks’ paid vacation,” Emma reminded her, and Leah groaned.

“I hate you,” she swore, tipping her head back to stare up through the plexiglass roof off the bus stop at the enormous building on the opposite side of the street. DyrTech’s offices were unnecessarily tall, in her opinion, given that they were the closest thing to a skyscraper in the city. Not that anyone would be asking for said opinion even if she got the job—she was interviewing for a minor clerical position in a major corporation, she’d be lucky if anyone remembered her name inside the month. Assuming she even got hired at all. “This was such a mistake. I am gonna walk in there and they will laugh my ass out of the building. And I wore my ugly heels for this!”

“Why would you wear ugly heels?” Emma asked, frown obvious in her voice. “We picked out those cute little wedges last night—”

“My ugly heels, yes,” Leah deadpanned in response, seriously wondering if it was too late to toss them and go in barefoot. Probably. Also it’d wreck her stockings and it wasn’t like she had a slew of those lying around. “Seriously, Emma, I love you but these shoes are a crime, I don’t even know how they got in my closet. I only wore them because your fashion sense is unrepentantly middle-aged and since it’s a manager interviewing me we’re probably in that demographic.”

“I’m remembering this the next time you want to drag me out for midnight coffee,” Emma said dubiously. “Did you take out your eyebrow ring?”

“Yes,” Leah said, immediately taking it out.

“And the labret?” Emma asked.

“Yes,” Leah said again, then took it out too and zipped both piercings into the inside pocket of her purse.

“Uh-huh,” Emma replied dryly. “Alright, check you didn’t just smudge your lipstick and go on in, you’re gonna be late.”

“But worst idea ever!” Leah protested mournfully, pulling a very professional face at the electric blue and white DyrTech signage over the entrance.

“But dental,” Emma said.

“Damn your superhuman debate skills,” Leah muttered, checking her lipstick in her compact mirror. “Alright, I’m going in. Either wish me luck or prepare to buy me consolation drinks.”

“You’ll do fine,” Emma said firmly. “Good luck, see you tonight.”

“Yeah, okay,” Leah agreed gloomily, then ended the call and eyed the office building again for a moment before adjusting her glasses and combing her fingers through her dark, curly hair to steel herself to head for the crosswalk. She really did not want this job. She wasn’t even qualified for this job, really, except in the sense that she’d spent enough time on the Internet to be able to ace the typing test and she’d perfected her perky phone voice suffering in fast food drive-through.

She couldn’t even remember where she’d found this position. She’d been job-hunting for two months, the ads were all starting to blend together into one giant, incomprehensible amalgamation of companies that didn’t think she was competent enough to handle an entry-level position.

Really reassuring, the fifteenth time she heard that.

She really hadn’t been kidding about the consolation drinks. DyrTech was the third interview this week—wait, no, fourth, she’d had two on Tuesday—and at this point her interview-quality wardrobe and her people skills were both running on fumes. She kept getting callbacks and even second interviews and follow-ups, a few times, but no one ever wanted to actually hire her.

At least her resume-writing skills were up to par, she guessed.

The light changed and Leah crossed the street with the crowd, double-checking the time on her phone as she walked and then tucking it into her purse. She was actually on time, by some miracle, which was admittedly only because she’d left an hour earlier than she should’ve had to but she wasn’t going to complain if it worked.

She’d totally complain over the consolation drinks tonight, though. Emma, I got up at SIX to make it to this interview and still didn’t get it, or something along those lines, although if Emma could hear her now she’d be trying to tell her she had to think positive if she wanted the job.

Not necessarily Leah’s strongest talent, that.

She made herself strut as confidently as her ugly heels allowed and headed into the building and for the front desk in the spacious and thoroughly branded lobby. The dark-haired receptionist looked up from his thin, shiny computer and flashed her a welcoming smile, turning his body towards her and being very attractively helpful with giving her directions to the interview. Kind of distractingly attractive, actually, Leah wasn’t going to lie; he had ink-black hair and warm brown skin and made that tidy-looking button-down look damn good, to say nothing of the dazzling smile. He might've been Pacific Islander, she thought. He had a little bit of an accent, but not one she could quite place.

“Then you take that elevator. The second banks are at the back of the building. Got it?” the receptionist finished, smiling that dazzling smile at her again.

“Totally,” Leah assured him, deeply invested in daydreaming about what that pretty hair of his must look like all sweaty and mussed up. Probably amazing.

Seriously, fourth interview of the week. She’d take her plus sides where she could get them.

“Good luck,” he told her. “Make sure you get the right elevator.”

“Thanks so much,” Leah said with a flashed grin, leaving the front desk with great reluctance. It looked like a much more interesting place than the interview was probably going to be. Really, though, anyplace not another doomed job interview would've been fine by her.

She passed the first row of elevators and headed around to the back half, running on the half-absorbed directions the receptionist had given her. The back bank of elevators looked exactly like the front, all clean and gleaming metal, although there was a tragic lack of a clear view of the receptionist.

She vaguely recalled him being very specific about which one to take, but in her defense, he’d been hot and that'd been distracting. There were four, and—

The doors on the last elevator slid open and Leah glanced at them automatically to see a dark-skinned black man and pale Asian woman in identical dark gray suits step out, both wearing matching turtlenecks and aggressively neutral expressions on their aggressively gorgeous faces. Like . . . wow, seriously, nobody should look that good without Photoshop. Was DyrTech branching out into modeling or something, because as far as she knew the place just handled science-y stuff and, like . . . pharmaceuticals and shit.

Wait, maybe Tuesday had been the pharmaceutical company. What did DyrTech do again?

“You’re too emotional about the situation,” the woman told the man. “You’re compromised.”

“You’re making groundless assumptions,” the man retorted evenly. They didn't look at each other as they spoke, and neither of them noticed Leah, who was looking at the elevator itself—the door had red numbers over it instead of black, and since it was clearly actually functioning, it must be the one the receptionist had been talking about. Right?

“Um, is this—” she started, catching the elevator door before it could close, but the arguing pair of suits were already long gone, too caught up in passive-aggressively sniping at each other for anything else.

Awesome corporate environment, really. That boded so well.

They really had been, like . . . unreasonably gorgeous people. Geez.

Leah glanced at the other elevators, then leaned inside and read the listed floor numbers. The elevator obviously went up, so she could only assume it was the right one. Worst case scenario maybe it was an executive elevator, but as long as it went the right way she really didn’t care, so she ducked in and hit the floor number the receptionist had given her.

The turtleneck thing had been weird. Who the hell wore a turtleneck with a suit, outside of maybe some randos in the fashion industry?

Maybe they were more office-casual around here.

The doors slid shut and Leah pulled out her cell phone again to check the time, instinctively paranoid. Her time management skills were nothing to write home about. In retrospect, she wondered if she should’ve taken out a few pairs of her earrings too. Emma would probably have said yes, so . . . whoops?

Well, she could still—

The elevator moved. Leah paused, then lifted her head. Were they going down? She’d hit the right floor, hadn’t she? The numbers were going up, but the elevator didn’t feel like it was.

What . . . ?

The elevator stopped at the eighth floor, which was the button she’d hit, and the doors slid open to reveal a long, brightly-lit, and entirely featureless corridor. There was an empty security desk with a door behind it right in front of the elevator and one more blank gray door at the far end of the corridor and nothing else at all, including, when Leah stepped out to check, any sign of the other elevators.

Okay. That could not have been the right one.

Leah turned on her heel just in time for the elevator door to shut in her face, and when she went for the button was immediately alarmed to realize that there wasn't one, just a flat black rectangle that looked like a cell phone screen embedded in the wall. It had to be a scanner—ID card or hand or something—and whatever it wanted, she definitely did not have.

“Oh hell,” she said, staring at it.

She was going to be so late.

“Okay, no, this is fine, I can absolutely solve this problem,” Leah told herself firmly, turning back towards the desk and the weirdly long hallway that led to the gray door. Both were deserted; the only thing on the desk was a half-empty abandoned coffee cup and some scattered paperwork, and the sterile-looking hallway didn't so much as have a plant or a painting or a "YOU ARE HERE" map on the wall.

Honestly it looked like a place people would not want her wandering around, but there wasn’t really another option. What else was she going to do, just stand here until somebody showed up or something happened? Yeah, as if.

Anyway, there was only one direction to wander, so she couldn’t get in that much trouble.

. . . god, she really hoped DyrTech didn’t do government work.

It took way too long to get down the hallway for Leah’s comfort, and she spent the whole way there feeling like a video game protagonist about to get jumped by invisible ceiling ninjas or suddenly-materializing ghosts. Neither scenario was forthcoming, however, and she made it to the gray door without so much as a smoke alarm going off. She touched the handle, and it swung open easily.

There was going to be a very angry security guard who wouldn’t believe her very soon, Leah knew, but she couldn’t keep herself from slipping through anyway. The empty hall was just too damn creepy to just stand around in.

This room was not an improvement, she noted immediately. For one thing, it wasn’t a room, just a longer hallway lined with even more identical gray doors continuing on straight ahead with no sign of breaking pattern. Leah felt queasy looking at it, like she’d somehow opened the same door again but done it wrong, or something equally implausible.

A very bad thought occurred to her the moment she heard said door close behind her, and she turned to look, stomach dropping immediately. There was no knob or handle on this side, just another flat black rectangle.

Very belatedly, she thought to wonder: if this floor was off-limits or something, then why would the passkey be on the elevator going up?

They weren’t worrying about unauthorized people getting in. They were worried about them getting out.

Okay. She really, really wished she’d listened more closely to the receptionist.

“Fuck,” Leah said, staring at the black panel in disbelief. “Fuck, fuck and shit and fucking damn.”

That was not okay. That was borderline terrifying. They were in an office building, for fuck’s sake, what kind of fucked up thing was that? She grabbed her cell phone to call the front desk and get the receptionist to send somebody down to save her, and groaned as the no service signal popped up. Of course. Of course.

Okay. Okay, she was finding somebody with a keycard and getting the hell out of here, that was happening immediately. She might just chase down someone who looked like they were leaving and follow them out, she’d gotten into plenty of places she shouldn’t have like that, so the reverse should hold true, she figured. And it would totally work this time, too, never mind that this whole place was one long hallway and—she checked each as she passed, and wasn’t remotely surprised—a long, long line of locked doors. Each one was identical, painted pale gray and inset with a skinny blacked-out window at eye height and a shuttered opening that looked like a high-security mail slot underneath.

Leah had the awful feeling that every door until the last was going to be locked, and then it was going to be another long empty hall after that. It was a great setup for a horror movie; not so much for her latest failed interview. There was no chance she was getting the job after this, that was for damn sure.

She checked the next doorknob more absently than anything, fully expecting it to be locked, and stumbled when it unexpectedly twisted and the door popped open.

“Uh,” Leah said, still holding the knob and staring at the man inside the . . .

This was a cell, she couldn’t help noticing. This was very, very obviously a cell. Flat pallet on the floor, sink and toilet in the corner, no mirrors or carpet or pillows . . . yeah. A cell.

With a very, very handsome man standing in the middle of it all, barefoot in scrubs and looking very, very confused to see her.

Okay. Right.

“Fuck my life,” Leah said, then slammed the door shut and slammed her back against it while she tried to get her breathing under control. Deep breaths, yes, that was good, deep and steady wins the race and why was it a cell. Were they all cells? Volunteers for an experiment? Prison-recruited lab rats? Because this looked like—

The man on the other side of the cell door knocked, and Leah jumped a mile and plastered herself to the opposite wall, staring at it in alarm.

“You dropped something,” the man inside said.

“Oh please, like I’m falling for that one,” Leah snorted, and then wondered if the door had actually locked when she’d shut it, and then seriously considered running for her life. Fuck.

Her phone beeped from inside the cell, and Leah made an agonized noise. She was so disappointed to realize she was the idiot who dropped their cell phone in a horror movie. She’d always thought better of herself than that.

“It’s noisy,” the man said. He sounded like he was frowning, which was not the kind of thought Leah was used to having, but this guy really projected.

“Yes, well,” she said. “What are my chances of getting that back without opening the door again?”

“Why?” the man asked.

“Uh, because it’s mine?” Leah retorted, scowling at the door. Her sense of self-preservation never had reached the level her parents had hoped for. In the end they'd given up and just sent her to self-defense classes, which admittedly Leah had gotten a lot of use out of at this point in her life.

“No, I—” the man started, then fell silent. Normally that would not make the back of Leah’s neck prickle, but again, he projected. There was trepidation in that silence, maybe even fear, and she couldn’t figure out why.

“‘No’?” she prompted, edging away from the wall slowly and still eyeing the door.

“I mean—why wouldn’t you open the door,” the man muttered, voice very low. Leah had a weird flashback to high school and that semester her parents had made her spend volunteering at the animal shelter—the guy sounded like a dog that thought it was about to get kicked might if it spoke English.

“Um,” she said. “Because . . . reasons?”

“Yes, ma’am,” the man said, that expressive voice gone weirdly toneless, and slid her phone out through the gap under the blacked-out glass that should’ve probably been see-through, now that Leah thought of it. Like . . . it was very strange that glass was not see-through.

She looked at the phone, then ruined her life and yanked open the door.

#commissions #rinfic #rintalk

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engagemachine · 3 years

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I miss you guys so much. I feel like we don't chat anymore!! I have been remiss in responding to comments on my posts and I do apologize for that. I don't want to be that person that forgets to respond. I did mean to go back to some of those posts, but they got a bit lost in my notifications, and now it feels too late.

How are you guys?! February is here already. I am very much anticipating spring. I am ready for the sunshine, longer days/more daylight hours, and for the flowers and trees to come back into bloom. Everything always looks a bit dreary in the winter; I try to find the beauty in it, but I am a Green girl through and through. I want to see things alive and blossoming. I miss seeing the sunlight dappling the pavement through the trees. I miss warm, humid nights and summer sunsets.

Work has been incredibly busy. Usually at night I do have some downtime and will spend that time restocking our med room, making sure our PPE is well-stocked within the halls, or I'll clean up the supply room, but lately I haven't had time. I typically have four or five Covid-positive patients in one night, while the other one or two patients are negative. For a brief (brief!) time, it seemed like Covid was petering out, or at least, my Covid patients weren't that sick... now I'm starting to treat very sick patients again, although generally they are still doing a lot better than they were during the Delta variant, which was an absolute nightmare. I saw so much death during that month of August and September of last year... I still don't think I have fully recovered from that. I read an article the other day talking about how many younger nurses (such as myself) are being exposed to more death than most seasoned nurses have seen within their entire career; that is so startling to think about. It has definitely taken a toll on me, and so many other healthcare workers. Sometimes I don't find out a patient has died until a couple of weeks later, or when we'll look them up in the system to see how they're doing after they've been transferred to the ICU, and then we read the note stating that the family has agreed to hospice, or they're about to pull the plug because there's nothing else that can be done.

My last couple of shifts have been potent reminders of why I do what I do. I've done a lot of hand-holding, a lot of sweeping-hair-off-the-forehead and back rubs while I tell my patients I love them and they're doing such a good job. I'm really proud of the care I administer, but sometimes the doubt sets in, and that's heavy. Sometimes I feel like I don't do enough, but sometimes there is nothing more I can do, and I know that, too.

I've been trying to go back to my regular hours (the kinds of hours I was working before I went back to school) but it's been hard. I really believe my body (and my mind) is trying to tell me I need to come off of nightshift, but I've gotten so comfortable with my job and my team, so the idea of anything else is kind of unthinkable, even though I know I probably could be getting paid better if I made the jump to another hospital. The staffing (as always) has also been incredibly challenging, and our hospital is trying to make it the new norm to strap us with a nurse to patient ratio of 1 to 7, which is insane. I take care of six patients at one time, but it is generally agreed that 5 is what's more comfortable for a nurse on the kind of floor that I work on; a nurse to patient ratio of 1:5 is mandated in California, for example... and I desperately wish that was mandated across the board for all the other forty-nine states. Nurses and nursing staff are suffering emotionally and physically from the intense workload, and it is also extremely challenging to take good, quality care of six patients at one time, let alone seven.

It is also very, very hard working nights, and I know that mentally I would greatly benefit from having a more established routine, which is nearly impossible to maintain when working nights. I try to group my night shifts together so that I can spend the rest of the week trying to "reset" my internal clock, so that I am not sleeping during the day and up all night, but that is so hard to do, and I am exhausted all of the time. That has honestly taken a toll on my body and mind probably more than anything else I've gone through in these past couple of years.

I am not the same person that I was since I made the switch to nightshift, and I really, desperately miss and long for my old self. I've been thinking about that a lot, lately. I feel like I keep moving farther and farther away from the person I used to be, this person that I used to love, and that's a very hard thing to have to reckon with and come to terms with. I guess I fear I don't even really know who I am anymore, or I fear that I do not even know what I want. Sometimes it is hard to be passionate about the things I used to be passionate about, because the energy simply isn't there. I know something needs to change.

It is also hard not to get sucked into this cycle of negativity perpetuated by the news, and the events taking place in our world today. I think, perhaps, another reason why I find myself long for my "old" self is because she didn't know the perils of the world today. Things were "simpler" back then, or maybe I was just operating under a certain level of naivety. But I do know one thing: I did not live and operate beneath the weight of so much fear.

I really hope you all are well. I wanted to journal about some other things going on in my life, but I ended up just info-dumping about work, and this post is already quite long. I love and miss you all. I am thinking of you always, and I thank you for all the lovely messages and kind thoughts you have shared with me recently. All my love.

#text

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addictedtostorytelling · 3 years

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In 7x15, law of gravity. how did you interpret the scene when Grissom first sees Sara and he keeps walking towards her. And she keeps walking backwards bc she’s been at the trash dump. It’s super cute and flirty. Almost, think he would have kissed her if he could.

hi, anon!

so as preface to my comments here, i'll direct you to this post, which talks about how grissom going on sabbatical (and the circumstances under which he does so) affects his and sara's relationship.

the tl;dr version is that while some fans believe that grissom and sara have no contact with each other for the entire five weeks that grissom is in massachusetts, i believe that they actually do—it's just that their communication during this time is strained, as grissom realizes that he hurt sara's feelings by leaving her behind and feels awkward but doesn't know what to do to help the situation from so far away, while meanwhile sara wonders if maybe grissom isn't as invested in their relationship as she is but is too afraid to ask him where his feelings in reality lie, particularly given the (both physical and relational) distance between them atm.

rather than not talking altogether, i believe they spend this period of separation languishing, having the kind of stilted phone calls where they discuss everything BUT their real feelings, sending occasional fumbling emails that skirt around the big issues, and both generally fretting about where they ultimately stand with each other but being too scared to out-and-out ask the other person for a clue.

as i talk about in the post linked above,

he’s worrying that he’s fucked things up by making the decision to leave without considering the personal implications of him doing so. he can sense that she is upset but he doesn’t know how to really broach the subject or do anything to fix the problem remotely—and especially not when she seems so thoroughly committed to withholding her true feelings from him, regardless of anything he might say or do.

on her side of things, she’s worried about the meaning of everything. he left, and she doesn’t know what his leaving indicates, in terms of their relationship. he seldom voices his feelings, and so she’s not sure what they are. she’s feeling the strain of keeping their shared life a secret more strongly than ever, but at the same time she doesn’t dare to complain because she doesn’t want to upset their delicate balance. so as not to do anything to spook him, she elects to suffer in silence, holding her breath as she waits for some kind of confirmation that he loves her in the same bone-deep, forever kind of way that she does him.

the longer grissom is away, the more desperately he wants to bridge the gap between them and just out and tell sara how he really feels.

however, when push comes to shove, he finds that words fail to convey the enormity of his feelings for her—hence the reason why he ultimately does not send the love letter he writes to her in episode 07x14 "meet market," deciding instead that maybe the best option for him is just to try to show her how he feels with his actions (which have always felt like a surer thing to him than words anyhow) once he gets home.

and, boy howdy, does he have feelings to show her when he gets home!

as is indicated in his unsent letter, grissom spends the whole time he’s away thinking of sara constantly and taking stock of everything he loves about her, so that by the time the day comes for him to finally return to las vegas and be reunited with her, he ends up going in early to work because he can’t wait even just a few hours more to see her again*.

* note that grissom shows up in the afternoon to work, even though he probably technically could have waited to clock in until the start of graveyard shift proper later that night at 11pm.

as for how he knows that sara is at work to start out with, there are lots of options: 1) he could have tried to call her at home once he touched down at mccarran and taken her lack of answer as a sign that she was still at work; 2) he could have gotten home and found she wasn’t there and made the same assumption; 3) he could have called in to check with the lab secretary or dispatch en route from the airport to his and sara’s place just to get an update on how everything was going with his team and learned that she was in the field through that channel; 4) she could have texted him before he got back to vegas something along the lines of “pulling a double. won’t have time to call today until pm. hope you have a good day xoxo” so that he knew before he even arrived that she wouldn’t be at home; etc.

of course, he’s disappointed to discover that she is out in the field on a callout at that time and so himself heads out into the field to assist warrick at the evans residence.

however, once he gets back to the lab, fortune smiles upon him, as sara soon returns, as well, leading to the events of the scene in question.

to my mind, the reunion basically goes down as follows:

(from his office, grissom sees sara coming down the hall, clad in her forensics jumpsuit and carrying bagged evidence)

g: “sara!”

(grissom rushes out of his office, and sara turns around to greet him. she appears surprised, likely because she didn’t expect to see grissom at the lab before she saw him at home that night)

s: (shocked) “hey! you’re back.”

g: (smiles) “yeah.”

(grissom steps toward sara, and she immediately takes a step back, holding the bagged evidence out in front of her as if to ward grissom off)

s: (flustered and stammering) “uh, i’ve—i’ve been out at a, um—i’ve been at—”

g: (smells the scent of trash on her) “—a garbage dump?”

(because grissom is grissom, the trash smell clinging to sara’s hair and clothes doesn’t repel him at all. he continues to advance, looking nothing but pleased to see her, while she continues to retreat, blushing more than we have ever seen her blush before. after a month spent away from him, sara clearly does not want to reunite with grissom while either looking or smelling anything but her best)

s: (embarrassed beyond all reason but also smiling like a goof because it’s grissom, and he’s back, and she’s overwhelmed because this is so not how she pictured everything in her mind—) “yeah. it’s so obvious, isn’t it?” (she focuses on grissom’s beard and the fresh new twinkle in his eye. he seems rejuvenated after his time away from the lab) “nice, um—” (checks herself because they’re in a public place) “you look good.”

(she continues to retreat, but now she can’t stop staring at grissom. it’s like it’s finally hit her that he’s back. he can’t stop staring at her, either; she is the most beautiful thing he has ever seen, sooty cheeks and messy clothes and all)

g: “did you, uh, put the cocoon in my office?”

s: (still retreating) “cool, dry, not a lot of light. it seemed like the right place for it.”

g: (with little boy excitement) “i think you’re going to be surprised when it hatches.”

s: (smiling because grissom is so cute when he gets excited about things and also because he is staring at her like she’s the best thing he’s ever seen) “i have no doubt.” (grissom stops walking; he looks like he wants to kiss her, and she would definitely like to kiss him back, but—) “i’m gonna go clean up now.”

(sara turns and starts to disappear down the hallway, but grissom calls after her)

g: (hopeful) “i’ll see you later?”

s: (stops, turns, gives him a bedroom look) “yeah, you will.”

(grissom is so getting laid after work)

(sara exits, and grissom lingers in the hallway, watching after her. he had almost forgotten how beautiful she is. he loves her so much)

of course, it’s worth noting that way back in episode 02x04 “bully for you,” greg once predicted that sara’s “real man” would be the one who didn’t care when she came in from work smelling bad. five seasons later, and who’s that man? gilbert grissom, of course.

to me, what we see in this scene is a grissom who almost can’t contain himself over his excitement of being reunited with sara and a sara who, despite her trepidations during grissom’s absence, finds that once he’s back and there standing in front of her, his feelings for her couldn’t be clearer.

in that moment, they both want nothing more than to just fall into each other’s arms and start expressing how much they missed each other in the best way they know how, but of course they have to show restraint given a) that they’re at the lab, and, b) that sara is covered in landfill grime.

that so, they best they can do is engage in some heavy but veiled flirtation and make promises to each other of what they’re going to do after shift is done.

the whole exchange carries with it a very stoked, “oh my god! it’s my favorite person in the entire world!” energy to it.

they’re obviously just so happy to see each other, totally twitterpated after weeks spent apart.

honestly, it’s one of my favorite gsr scenes ever just because it’s so cute.

thanks for the question! please feel welcome to send another any time.

#answered #anon #asks: csi #**#my meta #meta: csi #meta: gsr #07x15 #let's talk shop #csiverse

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deceptive-jo · 3 years

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Whumptober 2021 - Touch and Go

Bim didn't have a proper meal in a while and it shows.

Words: 795

(Any sexual inuendo here is probably the most I'll ever do in that direction.)

---

Bim shoved the potatoes decorating his plate around with a sigh, obliviously to the concerned stares of the others. “Everything alright, Bim?” The show host looked up, normally bright eyes dull and tired. “Yeah, don’t worry about it. I’m just not that hungry.” “Your growling stomach says otherwise, dude”, Bing pointed out with a concerned expression but Bim’s eyes were already fixating his plate again. “It’s fine, really.”

Bim fell onto his bed, not bothering to change or turn on the light as the hunger gnawed at him. He hadn’t properly eaten in days and his body was reacting accordingly. He recoiled as the door opened, flooding the room with the bright light of the hallway, quickly blocked out by a large shadowing entering. “Bing just stopped me on the way out. You’re not feeling too great, huh?” Bim lazily blinked up at Author as he slowly stepped closer, making him feel all too much like a weak and scared animal. Kneeling down in front of him Author slowly started brushing his fingers through Bim’s hair, worry in his eyes as he looked him over. “Why are you starving yourself like that, darling?” Bim lazily lifted his head, almost unconsciously leaning into the warm hand. “I can’t eat anymore.” “So I’ve heard. What happened?" "I couldn't go out due to the injury. And then in-between pushed back interviews and shows I...I must have forgotten." Tears shot into his eyes both from embarrassement and the pain cramping up his stomach again.

"It's okay, we'll get you taken care of. Try sitting up first-" As soon as the hand closed around his arm Bim flinched back, body curling together and head snapping to the side. "I-I locked myself in the manor. Didn't even want to leave my room but Bing and King got worried...I don't wanna worry them, I can't ask them to help with this but Dark and Wilford are both gone and at this point I can't go out myself anymore, I'll just hurt somebody..." He slowly looked back with a desperation that made Author's heart shatter. Well, fuck Dark and Warfstache, he would not let his lover suffer like this!

Slowly his arm reached out again, carefully brushing over Bim's and staying there even as he tried to slip out again. "You're not gonna hurt me." "You can't know that." "Except I do. You will not hurt me." Painfully slow he wrapped his arm around Bim's shoulder and pulled him up. "There you go...can you walk?" Bim only managed a nod as his body cramped up. "Where we going? I don't know if I'll make it to the city." "We're not going into the city", Author couldn't contain the grin at Bim's confused expression, "I already stocked up, gotta be prepared for my when my boyfriens visits, right?"

And Bim could have listed a hundred moments filled with affections and kisses and yet right then, he may have just fallen in love a secound time- The sweet moment of course was ultimately ruined by the sight of the body they had teleported in front of. Or maybe not, it was hard to decide.

As if in trance Bim stepped forward, eyes fixated on the still figure. "I know it's not your usual preference but I doubt you'll be picky now."

He barely registered the words as fingers brushed over soft skin, still warm to the touch somehow. His tounge slipped over his lips as he focused on the soft neck sitting so prominently in his view and making his mouth water. And then he dove in.

---

He barely remembered anything afterwards as he came back to his senses, elbow deep in the hollowed out torso of his victim. His jacket had disappeared at some point and his entire body was covered in blood, making his hair stick up in spikes and his shirt cling to his body. Only then did he look up to see Author still standing there. A blush crossed Bim’s face as he stared down at his mess. He wasn't usually this sloppy or uncontrolled- not that anyone would witness that..."Feeling better now?" Bim only nodded before his chin got lifted, Author not paying much mind to the carnage around them as he helped Bim up.

"Were you there the whole time?" Author shrugged, "You didn't seem to mind. Also, this was lowkey hot. Like, if I could, I'd totally let you do that to me." Bim stared at him, matching smirk stretching across his face. "I mean...we could always try. I do feel better after all..." Golden eyes shone in delight. "Now that's what I like to hear", Author growled with a smile before pulling Bim out the room.

#no.6 #hunger #markiplier egos #fic #cannibalism tw #description of corpses tw #blood tw #bim trimmer #the author #bim trimmer x the author #Author wasn't even supposed to be in this one #whumptober2021

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4aloysius-porteu · 4 years

Text

i really wish i hated you || tsukishima kei

masterlist | 1 | 2 | chapter 3

pairing: tsukishima kei x f! reader

sypnosis: It was an accident that (Y/N) met a certain tall, blonde male; a memory she isn't fond of remembering, but it is where it all started. And ever since, she magically makes her to his path. The image of the bespectacled man dwelled in her mind more than she thought. Tsukishima pushed away his softer emotions and denied their existence, or at least that's what he told himself. But then, he couldn't believe that this girl he labeled as a clumsy, unlucky creature who smashed his glasses is slowly bringing these strange emotions back to him. She might be irritating and dumb sometimes, but he couldn't get himself to completely hate her. Either that destiny was stupid, or he was blessed or cursed.

genre: fanfiction, fluff

wc: 2.6k

She has met the tall, blonde, and bespectacled male yet again.

"Oh, the midget stalker is here."

"You again?! Seriously, I think it's you who's following me!"

"Hah, what do I get from following an extremely short person like you?" He said, borrowing her words from yesterday.

(Y/N)'s eyebrows creased further in irritation. "Why do you keep mentioning my height?!"

"It was you who started it. Anyways, can you shut up? Do you know that you're in a library?"

She didn't retort back and simply sat on the chair with her arms crossed. It was a fine day then —BOOM— this giant decided to appear out of nowhere. She was trying to forget this person who's associated with some of her embarrassing moments but those just got smashed back to her mind. (Y/N) sighed and pulled a book at the bottom of the stack to start reading, but noticed that the blondie is still standing near the edge of the table, hesitating to sit down while glancing somewhere and back to her.

"What?" (Y/N) frowned.

"Why am I unnecessarily stuck with you on this table?" He sighed, pulling out the chair.

"Because all of the tables here are taken? If you're worried about your glasses being knocked off, don't worry, I won't do anything reckless anymore."

"That's a nice reassurance," He settled down and brought out his studying materials.

Both of them shared the table in the crowded library. Ignoring the people, between them was a silent atmosphere. No one was talking as they both minded their own studies; he was reading quietly and turning pages of a huge book while (Y/N) wrote key points from the printed work and highlighting her notes. Sometimes, the other would leave to return books to their shelves and came back with new stacks. This went on for a few hours until her pen ran out of ink. She scribbled at the back of her notebook in hopes that the ink just got stuck, to no avail. She sighed, resting her head on the notebook. But she really needed to take down notes for her upcoming entrance exam.

"Hey." (Y/N) reluctantly said.

The blonde male looked at her, confirming if he's being called, "What?"

"I'm sorry to interrupt your business but... do you have a spare pen?"

He stared at her with a straight face and placed his chin on the top of his knuckles, implying his refusal to lend one.

(Y/N)'s mentally gritted her teeth. I'm just going to borrow a pen and he's making it hard for me?!

Swallowing her pride, she said, "Look, I need to finish my notes. I'll return it to you right away when I'm done. I promise. Please?"

He scoffed as brought out a pen, "An inkless pen is all it takes for you to become a less lively puppy? You better keep your promise."

A puppy?! "You didn't need to compare me to a puppy but, thanks."

She continued her work but her focus was a bit shaken. This happens whenever she's interrupted or took a break away from writing. Soon, her focus vanished and boredom took over. She tried to read a book to review ideas but her brain won't cooperate. She groaned, her head and arms fell to the table again. The blonde saw but chose to ignore her.

She closed her eyes for a second, however, her gaze fell to the blank paper in front of her face. Her hands are itching to do something other than reviewing and writing, so she put down the pen she borrowed and took a pencil out of her pocket. She placed a pile of books near her notebook so that the male won't notice what she's doing. There, she started to sketch the base of the figure.

She would observe the four-eyed guy who's busy reading some sort of article while taking notes. He has a calm expression on his face rather than an irritated scowl or a mocking grin he usually has. He wears a long blazer and probably a long-sleeved shirt inside. His blonde hair is short yet the edges are a bit curly and his upper eyelashes are prominently long. This was the first time she stared at the jerk's face who she kept bumping into random places that irked the hell out of her, but for some reason, she felt that she had seen this person before the accident in the park, albeit she doesn't know where. (Y/N) came to a conclusion; he was a little good-looking.

The girl looked back to her drawing and shook her head at her own ideas. I can't believe I actually thought that this guy is handsome. How can such a mean creature be blessed with such looks?! Ugh, don't mind, (Y/N). I'm only drawing him because he seems like a great canvas subject, it's not like I haven't done this to other people before...

She went on drawing and drew details to the sketch similar to the boy in front of her. To make the drawing more accurate, she stole small glances at him. She kept things low key because it'll be another embarrassing event if he found out what she's doing. She made the lines smoother in one swift move. The hair and clothes' folds are already well-drawn while she focuses on the detail of his eyes and glasses. She was about to shade when the male finally caught her.

"What is it?" He questioned, closing his book with a low voice and creased eyebrows.

(Y/N) froze on the spot. As much as she doesn't like it, she maintained eye contact with him, thinking of the best alibi that he couldn't argue with. Then, she remembered that she doesn't know his name.

"Uhm... nothing. I was just wondering if you have a name." While talking, her finger subtly moved to grab the nearest object it could get to cover her drawing.

"I have, but why would I mention it to you?" He cooly replied.

"It's alright. I'm not asking you to. Unless you want to be referred to as he/him or the tall, blonde glasses guy all the time?" (Y/N) countered.

He silently turned a page before answering, "Well, it's not like we'll meet every day."

"Oh," was her only reply. Looks like he will stay a nameless guy in her head for a long time. She was about to get back to her business when he spoke.

"Tsukishima Kei."

(Y/N) looked at him in surprise. "I'm not going to repeat it." He added.

She smiled, having clearly heard it right away. "Can you tell me how it is written?"

He looked at her to check for ill intentions but found nothing in her eyes. He hesitantly wrote the characters of his name on a piece of paper.

"I'm (L/N) (Y/N), nice to meet you again, Tsukishima-san." She'd like to initiate a handshake for peacemaking, but she knows how he'd only decline it. She wrote her name for him to see as well.

Tsukishima Kei. She repeated in her mind. What a nice name.

With a notebook covering the upper portion of the paper where she had drawn his portrait, she wrote his name at the bottom. She proceeded to the shading and background features. Backgrounds are one of the things she hates in art because it takes too long to draw one compared to the subject itself. Luckily it's only a sketch so she won't have to suffer. Although she doesn't know if Tsukishima had seen whatever she's doing so she's still cautious. She peered at him for the nth time so she could distract his peripheral vision. Maybe to test the social initiative skills she hasn't used for a long time too.

"Uhh, can I ask something?" She started.

"Hm?" He responded without taking his eyes off the page.

"What school are you from?"

"Amemaru Middle School."

(Y/N) hummed, thinking of another question, "Then, what school are you enrolling to? It must be an upper class one since you had to read those large books and all."

"Not really," Tsukishima closed the book, "I plan to go to Karasuno High School. They may not have a difficult entrance exam, but these readings are for decent grades and some stock knowledge."

"Decent grades, huh... you look like you could achieve more though. I'm pretty sure you'll ace it." She answered, "I was from Kitagawa Dai Ichi. I'm taking an exam in Shiratorizawa soon."

"You're going to that high-class academy? I see, I failed to notice that because you don't look like one. Have fun clashing with other elites there."

"Elites? What are you talking about, you still believe there's such a hierarchy?" (Y/N) chuckled.

"There is though. A gap between them and mere humans in terms of skills and power."

"In the end, they're still humans though. Be it numbers, hard work, or some unique strategy, those 'mere humans' you say will always struggle to step on equal levels with those on the highest rank."

Tsukishima only hummed and stared down at her, "Perhaps I was wrong on assuming you're an elite. You're clearly not."

"Are you underestimating me?" She challenged.

"No, I was just saying. Can I ask something though?"

"What?"

"Why are you suddenly talkative?"

She was caught off guard but tried not to stutter, "Me? Talkative? I'm always like this."

"Really?" He raised his brows, totally not buying it.

"Ugh, fine! I'm tired of studying!" She sighed, "I was scribbling some doodles on my notebook because I'm bored so I thought it wouldn't hurt to talk to Mr. Beanpole in front of me. Forgive me and my awkward social skills."

"Your social skills are not bad. I'm just thankful you aren't using the precious ink of my pen for drawing." He said, stacking the books he used.

She gasped, panicked inside, "You aren't looking at my drawing, are you?"

He got up to return the books,"Don't worry, it's none of my business."

She exhaled in relief, spared from another memory of embarrassment. Her eyes followed his walking figure and watched his movements. She looked at her drawing to compare and used her fingers to define lighting. When Tsukishima got back and placed new reviewers on the table, (Y/N) asked him once more.

"Do you ever get tired of studying?"

"Sometimes I take a break, but I can only do that if I have finished everything."

"What a diligent student you are."

"I hardly see any benefit in being dumb and slacking off all the time."

"Eh, I hardly see any benefit in studying Algebra and Calculus. I have a lot of questions. Do you use derivatives in counting money or salary? Do you use trigonometry in dividing pizzas or corn chips? Why do I need to find the limit of a function if numbers are infinite? Why do I need to get the formula of a certain point in each line or curve I draw on the graphing paper? What is the correct answer for?" (Y/N) complained.

Tsukishima looked at her blankly, doubting her chances of passing the Shiratorizawa's board exam. "I couldn't argue with that, I'd rather read a book composed of words than formulas, but you don't have a choice. Although, if you plan to be an engineer or something, that'll be a different perspective."

"No, thanks, I won't eat math books for breakfast. Other subjects are interesting enough to keep me awake in class, but numbers don't really entertain me."

"Then, what do you do?" He asked, writing on his notes.

"Not much. I just draw, paint, listen to music, and watch anime."

He let out an amused hum, "How about you? What do you do other than to study?" (Y/N) asked.

"I play volleyball, listen to music, and read narrative books."

"Volleyball? So that's what your height is for! I thought it's just for cleaning and reaching high places."

"That's rude."

"If I am, what do you call yourself? Besides, I don't want to make wrong assumptions."

"You just did."

"...right. I'm sorry."

The sense of familiarity took over (Y/N)'s brain, telling her that she definitely had met this Tsukishima guy before. Her face scrunched a little, trying to search her memories and connect the dots. Her eyes found his face again.

"Why do you keep looking at me?" His eyes narrowed, his annoyance towards the girl slowly rising.

"I HAD met you somewhere... before that accident, where did I see you?"

He was about to say something when (Y/N) stopped him, "Shh, I'm thinking."

He crossed his arms and frowned at her. Volleyball, Amemaru MS... She was about to say it but Tsukishima spoke first.

"Were you one of the audience who watched the middle school volleyball inter-high a year ago?"

"I was! Wait, you remember?"

"That was the only place where I could find someone from Kitagawa Dai Ichi." He confirmed.

"Correct. I was a part of the school paper where I was assigned in the sports category. I took a picture of you when my senior was interviewing you! You were the tallest middle blocker in the games! How could I forget that! So that's why whenever you irk me, it was familiar!"

"How am I annoying you? Aren't you the one who kept on talking right now?"

"I've figured out that there's no kind bone in you. And the way you keep on stuffing the spikes from the opposite team. It was never-ending that they didn't have a chance to score properly." She pouted.

"What do you expect from a middle blocker? It was my job to block spikes."

"You could've gone easy on them."

"The game would lose it's sense if that's the case."

"Fine. You're not wrong." Their conversation was cut short after she ceased talking. At least she found out where she first met Tsukishima. She finished the portrait sketch. Grinning, she believed that she captured his features accurately in her drawing. She'd like to hold it near him and compare to make sure though. Satisfied with her work, she went back on turning pages.

"So, you've finally decided to continue to study?" Tsukishima prodded.

She smiled, "I guess. Thank you for talking to me. That was a great stop."

Both of them worked quietly, but now, the irritation they felt towards each other lessened. After some time, a person in the speaker announced that the library will be closing before 6 pm. Tsukishima returned all the books he borrowed and packed his things.

"You're going home?"

"I don't want to come home late. You aren't finished with your notes yet?"

"Yeah, maybe I'll leave five minutes before six."

"Alright. I'll get going now." He swung his bag over his shoulder.

"Hey, wait! Your pen!" (Y/N) abruptly remembered seconds after.

"I don't need it anymore. It was useful, apart from its close on running out of ink."

"But it's yours and you told me to keep my promise!"

"Whatever. Keep it or throw it." He walked out and wore his headphones, having no intention to listen to anyone.

She sighed and checked the ink. More than half of it is gone, but she can use it again if she wishes. (Y/N) placed her fist to her cheek while writing.

Random Tsukishima Kei facts:

In the second prototype chapter (unserialized, one shot, the first idea of the author on how haikyuu will go) Tsukishima was a second-year, which was changed in the serialized version where he's a first-year. His initial height in the prototype chapter is 184cm, a little shorter than his official height (190.1cm). In an extra sketch, Furudate commented, "Tsukki and Tanaka being in the same year would spell chaos!

#haikyuu!!#tsukishima kei #haikyuu tsukishima #haikyuu fanfiction #haikyuu angst #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu fluff #kei tsukishima #tsukishima x reader #tsukishima kei x reader #haikyuu headcannons #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu headcanons #tsukishima imagine #tsukishima scenarios #tsukki

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