#i'm feeling like I'm not a comfortable person to be around in person any more

[yuyu1024]

Lettuce

Pairings: Mingyu × y/n

Genre/tags: non idol, dating

Warning: 🔞 fluff but still smut, pet names (babes, baby, love, honey, sweetheart etc.), cursing, unportected/protected sex (always be safe), kinks (size, breeding, tits, etc), mention of small age gap, mention of low self-esteem/confidence and insecurities

~~~ [lmk if i miss anything]

Words: 2.6k

Disclaimers:

- this story is just made up

- english is not my first language, please be nice 😊

A/N: been away. I didnt know if I should post this or delete but then... I dont want effort to go to waste so.. 😅 i hope this is an okay one.

Have a nice day.

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"Are you still waiting for your ride home?"

You look at the group of girls standing a few feet away from you. They are from the department across your office.

"Is your boyfriend late?" She adds a follow up question

You smile, "I am." You cautiously answer.

They are not your friends so you are not comfortable to share more than that. And also they are known to be the gossipers in the officr so, any details about your personal life would be the next topic for the next few weeks if you share anything with them.

"It's already late... are you sure he's still coming?" One girl asks.

Luckily, the bus arrives just in time for them to hurry in. No time for you to even chat with them anymore.

"Thank goodness..." you sigh feeling relieved.

*pings*

🐶: sorry, im late. 😭

🐶: i helped an old lady cross the street.

🐶: didn't know she would ask me to also help her get boxes of soju in her shop.

🐶: she admitted to pretending to struggle crossing the street so she can ask anyone to help her and his son 🙃 and then made me buy a whole bunch of lettuce.

🐶: like a whoke bunch😶

🐶: you like lettuce right babe?😚

You smile as you read your boyfriend's text. You don't know if its you imagining him pouting because he feels sorry he made you wait or its because he felt used and scammed.

💖: you're so silly.

💖: its still a good deed so its okay 😊

🐶: but i am 10mins late.

🐶: i cant let my princess wait for me.

💖: i can wait. As long as its you... ♥️

You see him read the message and then not reply.

"Hello stranger..."

You got startled when Mingyu embraces you from behind and kissed you on the cheek.

"Yah! You scared me." You slap his arm

"Sorry..." he giggles and kissed you again. This time on the lips.

"Stop..." you say, blushing. "We are outside."

"So...?" He grins and then puts his arm around you. "We are a couple. Who the fuck cares?"

You roll your eyes. "You know people judge..."

"No... they are just jealous because I am dating a wonderful woman..."

You shake your head. "No... they are not jealous because of me..." you push him away. Forcing a laugh. "Probably because you look good in that double denim look."

Here you go again with your self pity and self judging. You always do this. 'This' notion that you are way below over any other girl and that you are just lucky Mingyu is your boyfriend. You always make an effort to put yourself down without even noticing that Mingyu does not like it.

He fucking loves you. Inside and out. From head to toe. From front to back. He even loves it when you are not at your best behavior nor position. He just... loves you. Period.

But on your end, even with a million reassurance, you always doubt yourself for him.

***

Arriving at his apartment, the first thing you did was announce that you are going to take a shower. You didn't even looked at him when you said it. You're not mad at him or whatever. You are just guilty and feel sorry for being down out of the blue. You didn't even talked that much during the ride home.

"Hey..." he takes you by your arm and pulls you close for an embrace. He kissed the top of your head and then forehead. "Take your time... I'm going to cook dinner."

You smile with no teeth showing. "Okay..." your voice sounding almost a whisper.

"Anything in particular you want? We have meat, fish and vegetables... like a lot of lettuce..." referring to the whole plastic the old lady sell him. "You want something with soup or fried? Ramyun or pasta?"

"Hmm... I like pasta... and a salad on a side?"

"Okay... as you wish my princess..."

The whole apartment smells like a five star restaurant. The fragrance is to die for and makes your mouth water. When you got out of the bedroom, hair still damp, you got suprised by how extravagant Mingyu arranged the dining area. Fancy plates, lit candles, wine glasses and a bottle of his favorite red win. All of a sudden, iy felt like you entered an Italian restaurant wearing your baby pink pajamas and hello kitty slippers.

"Hi, babe." Mingyu is a ray of sunshine while putting on a few more finishing touches on the table. "Ready to eat?"

"Aww..." your heart is aching with pure joy. He is the sweetest man alive.

You stumble your way to him, caused by your own feet. He managed to catch you giggling with you. You look silly but he find it cute. And then as your eyes met he immediately captures your lips for a kiss. Small pecks that got deeper and more seductive. The kisses are loud that it echoes and bounce off the walls of the apartment. He can't also stop touching every curve of your body. From your hips, to your ass and to your tits. He even lifted your shirt so he can access your bra and yank one side down exposing you boob.

"M-mingyu...." you giggle as you try to pull away from the kiss. He does not want to let you go. He keeps on chasing your pink lips whenever a gap starts to build in betweem his. "We need to eat... the food will get cold..."

He didn't answer. He leans lower so he could give love on your exposed bud. He suck it first before he lets his tongue lick it and make your squirm.

"M-mingyu..." you inhale. "The food...?"

He finally lets you go, smiling. "Fine." He chased one more kiss. "But after we eat..." and another one. "I'd like to go straight to dessert." And another one. "You know I love my dessert." He says, bitting his lower lip while grinning like a mad dog.

"You're crazy!" You pinch his nose.

"Crazy over you..." he growls and suddenly picks you up off the floor. He puts your legs around his waist and you automatically hang your arms over his shoulder to hold on.

"Yah!"

"I can't wait. I think I want to begin our dinner with dessert first." His eyes is filled with desire and he is ready to wreck you.

Kicking the door open to your bedroom, Mingyu lays you down gently but in a hurry at the same time. He is on a mission. He is not going to make love to you. He will FUCK your brains out tonight. You know that look in his eyes.

"No condoms... I need to feel you... skin to skin..." he pulls his shirt off and throws it, hitting the wall, then begins to unbuckle his belt and pants. "And I'll like to fill you up until it leaks out of your pussy." He adds, grinning

"Oh God..." you try to get a hold of yourself. Not ready for what is coming

He pushes down his pants and underwear in one go. His length springs free and is up, steady and hard. It's tip glistening with pre cum.

"Turn around..."

You do as he says and go on fours on top of the bed. He pulls your pants down, revealing a bare and wet pussy ready to be torn.

"No panties huh..."

You blush. "Well... I know we'll have sex today... I just didn't know its going to be this soon..."

Mingyu hovers on your back, hand sliding up and down your curves. "Do you want me to stop and just go on with dinner?"

You lower your heard, embarassed, even though he's not seeing how turned on and red you are. "No... I would never say no to you..." after a few breaths in you look back, cheeks red and warm. "You know sex with you is my only addiction."

"Fuck yeah it is..." he says proudly and satisfied

He eases himself in, slowly but deliciously. He skipped prepping you. He can't wait anymore. His dick is aching and wanting to feel your walls.

"I'll be a little rough to you today, babe." He smacks your ass and a moan escapes your lips. "I didn't like what you did earlier..."

"Ughhh!" He slams strong and consistent. It's driving you insane how he could hit the very back of your cervix. Actually he could hit every thing inside you. Thats how long and thick he is. "W-hat... what did... I do?" You arch your back and pushed your upper body up so he can embrace you and touch your body as he thrust your brains out.

"You know..." he grunts as he adjusts and tries to go deeper, even though he is already at the deep end of your insides. "I don't like it... when you don't appreciate yourself..." he inhales and exhales as he feels you clench and make it tighter. "Fuck! Babe!" He kisses the curves of your neck and bites on your shoulder when he feels the tightness thats make it fucking sensational for him

You ubotton your top to give him access to your chest. You didn't unhook your bra though. You just pulled the ladies out and the bra helps give them a push up.

"You are beautiful... sexy... and a wonderful woman..." he pushes your hair out of his way so he can kiss your neck. "Love yourself... the way I love you."

He then pulls out, almost making you cry and beg. But them makes you turn around to face him.

"Can you?" He asks with the most loving eyes

You crash your lips to his. Pushing your tongue in him. You didn't stop until you hear a moany cry from your boyfriend. His brows then creases when you playfully bite his lower lip. "I want to..."

"But what?" He carries you off the bed and pins you to the wall, beside the window of your bedroom. Your one leg touching the ground while the other is hooked over his forearm. "Answer me, babe."

He slams back in you. Stronger and much deeper. Which confused you coz how? Its not like your cervix can expand. But thats what it felt when he slammed you. It didn't hurt. It felt insane actually. Insanely goodm

"You are kind... sweet... caring... hardworking... knows what you like and dislike... respectful..."

You are catching your breathe in your throat. Its like you are choking from excess pleasure. You try to speak but you can't let go of the high. So instead of speaking, you just shook your head.

"You don't agree?" He asks. Mingyu looks at you with his puppy eyes and showered you with kisses. Then he kept repeating all the good qualities you have as a person and even physically.

He really is telling you every bits about you. Everything that he loves and dislike but accepts coz it is you. It is part of you. He really do love you.

"What can I do... to reassure you?"

You put your hand over his mouth. Not to shut him down but to hush him for a second. Just for a moment until you get it all out for him.

"Fuck me!" You cry as you can't help but  cry more of his name. You are so close to your orgasm. "Nggghhhh...!"

You shut your eyes ready to explode but then Mingyu pulls away from your hand, takes you back in bed to finish, when he suddenly says the two words you didn't expect him to say while he's fucking your brains out

"Marry me..." he says.

Your eyes opens, looks at him in pure shock and bliss. "W-wha..." you can't finish your words. He was hammering you. You can't answer. "Mingyu!" You moan his name so loud when your world spun around.

"I love you." He grunts as he see you melt and when he pushed into you a few more times, he finally begins release himself you. All the warmth and every drop of him in you. "Fuck!" He exhales, dropping his body on you but not his weight. "I love you..." he says again. "So much..." he kisses your shoulder and then your cheek. "So... what do you say?" He smirks

"Suddenly?" You look at him, confused.

"Hmmm..." he scrunches his nose, still wearing the smile on his lips. "Not really..."

He then gets up, pulling out of you, which felt like you got more naked than what you are now. More exposed.

"Wait lemma clean you first."

He runs into the bathroom and takes a towel to wipe you clean. Just clean enough to be presentable but not totally wipe his seeds off you. He wants that in there.

And then he runs out of the room.

"Where are you going? Babe?" You are confused. Why is your man running outside the bedroom ass naked

Giggling as you see him comeback in and carrying the plastic bag of lettuce.

"Huh? What's that for?" You sit up and wrap the thin white blanket to your body.

"I lied. Well... we still going to have salads and all..." he is mumbling. "This should be over dinner... but... I could not help myself earlier so..."

"Mingyu... what is going on...?"

Laughing but still trying to pull a serious face. "It was true that an old lady sold me this but... as I was helping her she took the paper bag the came wit this... and I panicked." He sits down beside you. "I didn't want to put it in my jacket or pocket coz... it will be obvious... and when we walk and your cold you always put your hand in my jacket's pockst so..."

"Mingyu!" You grab his face and kissed him. To make him focus. "Just say it..." you are giggling now too.

"Okay..." a soft smile spreads to his lips. "I know... you may think... I'm still young and naive."

"No you're not..."

"Yeah but... still... anyways..." he nervously laughs. "Like I said... you are an amazing woman. Anyman who you choose to love will be the luckiest. And thankfully its me..." he then goes down to his one knee and pulls out a black box from the plastic of lettuce. "I said I didn't like what you did earlier... you looking down at yourself... but that does mean I hate you or mad at you for it... I just say that because I care.. I want you to feel... assured and happy." He opens the box and shows the most brightest ring you ever saw in your life. "If I have to always reassure you for the rest of our lives... I don't fucking care. I am up for it. I love you and I can't live a day without you." Pulling out the ring and taking your hand. "Please marry me... I will serve you and love you forever..."

You watch him put the ring on your finger.

"So...?" He looks at you with doe eyes

Letting go of the blanket covering your body, you launch yourself to him, making you guys fall on the floor. "I love you Kim Mingyu..." you say first before kissing him. "Forever is not a bad idea..." you kiss him again. "Of course I will accept."

"Sorry if I proposed to you after sex... at diner would've been fantastic"

"Don't say sorry... I do love your way..." you get up from embracing him. "It brings back to how we started."

He sits back up. "Right."

Then you stare at your ring. "Who could've guessed that... I will be marrying the guy I met and fucked at a friend's birthday?"

[dcandmarvelimagines]

sweeter than you ever knew. (pt 5)

Series: pt 1 pt 2 pt 3 pt 4 pt 5 Pairing: Wade Wilson x Logan Howlett x Fem!Reader Word Count: 6.2k Warnings: AFAB reader (uses she/her pronouns), 1st person POV, non-mutant Reader, this chapter is just smut, unprotected sex (p in v), rough sex, oral sex (f receiving), vaginal fingering, cum eating, nipple play, whiff of breeding kink (I'm very funny), biting, reader has a nightmare that's a little graphic but brief, Wade is very annoying lmao Author's note: I can't believe it's over!!!! It's insane to me how much love and support this had gotten :') I just want to say thank you so much from the bottom of my heart! Please enjoy! <3 ao3 Tags (if I forgot someone I'm so sorry!): @fallout-girl219 @xolosimp @o0aligoth0o @thedevilsaysthings @jaeyuni @redmitsuru5 @jeffs77 @spideybv28 @trumanbluee @jennapearce13 @chxrrybomb22 @7soulstars @what-the-jams @lostinheavensworld @purplestars222 @whiskeyghoul @paintballkid711 @unmotivated-artist164 @amararosesblog @bontensbabygirl @belgium2 @g0ldenstarr @wolvndmouth @sseleniaa @reddesires @harryshousewhore @sun7lowxr @minniekitties @ceobuggy @clancy-the-pretty-odd-killjoy @geckosssssss

The next few days were a haze of food, sleeping, tender touches, and above all else, comfort. Most days I awoke to Wade cuddling close. Logan was too much of an early riser to stay in bed. He would get antsy the longer he lingered, grumbling about how he couldn’t just lay around all day. But I found that sleepy smiles and little nibbles to his jaw could convince him to stay. Even more so if I just happened to push my butt against his hips. 

My leg was healing well, the bruise fading to a dull purple after a few days. The pain was manageable but it always hurt in those first few hours of the day. Wade was more than happy to rub and kiss at my skin every morning. I stopped needing the painkillers during the day but Logan insisted I take one before bed to minimize any discomfort in the morning. It was easy to sleep with the numbing effects pumping through me. My body would feel heavy, my mind quiet and still. I never dreamed. I simply closed my eyes and awoke to the morning sun. 

But I was getting better. So I opted to not take one on their last night with me. It was hard to calm my racing mind and I tossed and turned before Logan snapped a heavy arm around me. “Do you want one?” He sleepily asked. Wade was already out, flat on his back, mouth open. Both of them were able to fall asleep in moments, a skill born from their military service, but Logan was unfortunately a light sleeper. 

“No,” I mumbled, tucking my head under his chin, running my nose along his throat. He had showered before getting into bed so the woody scent of his body wash was strong on his skin. “I need to stop relying on them, need to sleep on my own.” He hummed but stayed quiet. One of his big hands slipped under my shirt, rubbing soothing circles onto my skin. 

I was on the chair again but my limbs were free. I stood, looking around. No one was here. The concrete room was quiet and cold. I walked slowly to the large door, peaking through the small window. 

Nothing. 

Swallowing, I pulled it open. To my right was endless darkness and to the left was an infinite hallway. Something shifted in the darkness as I lingered. I quickly turned to the left. There were no windows or doors as I walked. 

I heard something over my shoulder. When I glanced behind, it looked like I had made no progress, the darkness still close to me. My pace quickened. I heard the sound again. A low gurgle. 

I could see a window at the end of the hallway, sunlight painted across the floor. A hand ran through my hair and I started to run. Whatever was behind me ran too. 

“Sweetheart.” 

The sunlight wasn’t getting any closer. 

But whatever was behind me was. 

I felt their breath along my neck. Cold needles pricked all along my spine. I couldn’t run any harder or any faster. Something caught my foot and sent me sprawling. Before I could scramble away, a hand latched around my leg, dragging me deeper into the darkness. I screamed, nails ripping at the concrete. 

“You’re safe, come on baby, wake up.” 

Then I was forced onto my back to look up at my attacker. It was him. His face was half gone, eyeball hanging from a destroyed socket, brain oozing and pulsating. I tried to fight him off, clawing uselessly at his mangled face. 

He glared down at me, hot blood splattering across my cheeks from his exposed skull. Then he held up the knife before plunging it deep into my chest. I wailed, fighting with everything I had. 

“Come on, you gotta wake up for me.” 

The knife tore from me with a disgusting sucking noise. Then he drove it in, again, and again. 

I sat bolt up straight, chest heaving as I panted. Cold sweat misted my skin and my clothes stuck to it. My eyes were cloudy from unshed tears. With shaking hands, I rubbed at them, and found something warm speckling my face. 

It was blood. 

“You back with us?” The voice was soft but I still jumped. Logan was also sitting up, his body tense. I could see four distinct scratches along his cheek in the weak moonlight. I let out a sob, clambering into his lap, arms latched tight around his shoulders. 

“I-I’m sorry,” I whimpered. He lifted the quilt over me and wrapped it tight. It didn’t stop my shivering. 

“You have nothing to apologize for. Should have known better than trying to touch you while you were having a nightmare.” I kept readjusting my hold, trying to find the position with the most contact. I wanted to crawl inside him, be encased in warmth and comfort. “It’s okay,” he hummed, throat vibrating against my forehead. “I’m not going anywhere.” His hands were under my shirt again, fingers digging into the tense muscles of my lower back. He let me shudder and cling to him for a few minutes, sobbing onto his shoulder, the skin quickly becoming slick with tears. “What do you need, princess?” 

“Just you, please,” I lifted my head from his shoulder, “just you.” Our mouths hovered close and he nearly went cross eyed to keep me in focus. Then he nodded. The kiss was sloppy and desperate but I didn’t care. I just wanted to feel him against me. He let me take charge, one hand braced on the back of my neck. For once, I wished he had worn a shirt just so I could grip it tight. I settled on digging my fingers into his hair. It had gotten long, trailing along the nape of his neck. The longer I kissed him, the more solidly in my body I felt. My head felt clearer as the last of the nightmare ebbed away. 

He was making these soft, tiny groans against my lips that made heat trickle through my veins. I needed more. My hands went to my shirt but Logan stopped me, his lips pulling back, forehead against mine. 

“Sweetheart,” he mumbled, collecting both of my wrists in one of his. “You aren’t thinking clearly.” 

“Says who?” I wiggled, trying to snake out from his grip. I knew it was impossible. But as I shifted, I felt something press against my stomach and Logan let out a faint groan when I pushed myself against it again. “You don’t get to make that decision.” 

“I can smell how scared you are.” 

“I’m not.” I sounded like a petulant child. I was scared. But I craved him and Wade. I wanted to let go, let them chase away all my worries, feel their skin against mine. 

“Relax, take a deep breath,” Logan hummed, ignoring my useless protest. The grip on my wrists had loosened and I took advantage, grabbing his shoulders and pushing him against the headboard. Anger was swirling up in me. 

“Stop telling me what I want. I thought you said you would give me anything I needed. Why is it so hard for you to think I might need you? Might need to feel…” I stumbled over the word I wanted to use, loved. Logan’s face relaxed, the worry leeching away, a soft affection replacing it. 

“Just don’t want you to rush into anything just because you’re scared, that your emotions are in high gear.” I huffed. 

“Then help me calm down,” I pleaded, kissing his scratchy cheek. “I know you and Wade will take good care of me.” He groaned, the sound low in his throat, eyes squeezing shut. “Please,” I whispered as I nipped the corner of his jaw. My nails lightly scraped along his chest as I waited for his response. 

“Okay,” Logan sighed, tilting his head back to allow me to bite and kiss at the newly exposed skin. “We can do that for you sweetheart.” I kept up my assault on his neck, marveling at the bruises disappearing seconds after I had placed them. “Are you done pretending to sleep now?” 

“I was just watching. We need to work on your self-confidence, peanut.” I shouldn’t have been surprised Wade was awake, and even less shocked that he’s been observing us. The bed behind me shifted and Logan spread his legs to accommodate Wade’s body. “If a hot piece like this is begging for sex, you shouldn’t try to convince them that they’re wrong.” Logan growled, his palms hot as they skated over my ass, before dipping into my panties, gripping the flesh. I rolled my hips over his and was rewarded by a small hitch in his breathing. 

“It’s not my confidence, I just need her with us to do this.“ His voice dipped, soft and sweet again,”lean back for me baby.” I do as he asked, back flush with Wade’s chest. Wade’s lips immediately descended on my throat and he cupped my breasts through my shirt. My eyelids grew heavy as he started to circle my nipples, the fabric a pleasant scrape. “Lift her up a bit,” Logan commanded. Wade curled one arm around my waist, easily raising me an inch or two off of Logan’s lap. 

Logan’s fingers dipped under the elastic of my panties, his eyes never moving from my face, examining every expression. He moved between my legs, the pad of his middle finger brushing my clit. I wasn’t wet or turned on enough, yet, for that simple touch to do anything, but I still pushed my hips forward, craving more. Wade nuzzled his face into my neck, sucking at the skin. That made me whine. Logan moved in languid motions over my clit, not too firm, and just enough to reignite the warmth inside me. 

Wade removed his lips from my thoroughly spit covered neck and made a satisfied humming noise at the sight. “So beautiful.” He released my breasts and I opened my mouth to protest but he slipped under my shirt to resume his treatment before I could. 

“Go back to kissing her neck, she likes it, don’t you sweetheart?” I nod, biting my lip as Wade tweaks my nipples. Logan’s middle finger traces around my entrance, collecting my slick, but going back to my clit, the new wetness making his finger glide easier. 

“He gets so bossy in bed,” Wade huffed. “Next time I’m in control.” Logan’s fingers suddenly left me and I gasped in shock. He reached up, his two middle fingers extended, pointed towards Wade. 

“Shut up,” Logan growled, “get these wet for her.” Wade was more than happy to oblige, lapping like a dog at the tips before swallowing them to the knuckles. With his mouth next to my ear, I could hear his exaggerated sucking and slurping. Logan groaned, hips bucking against mine briefly, before he pulled his fingers back. A long trail of spit stretched and snapped between the two. His hand dove under my underwear again, soaked finger prodding at my entrance. 

“Did you, after that night in the bar,” Wade mumbled against my throat, lips tracing my racing pulse. “Logan came from just sucking you off my fingers.” I could feel the man under me tense, like he was going to attack Wade. But he relaxed when he felt how wet I had gotten from hearing that. A finger slipped inside me and I groaned, head falling back on Wade’s shoulder. Wade’s fingers were long, able to poke and prod anywhere inside me with ease. But Logan’s were thick and there was a pleasant stretch around it. “Oh look at that pretty, pretty face,” Wade cooed, abandoning my neck to kiss at my flushed cheeks. “He’s so big isn’t he?” I moaned in response as Logan started to pump into me. “But that stretch feels so fucking good. Makes your toes curl, doesn’t it?” 

“Yes,” I whispered. Logan’s chest rumbled, gripping my hip as he increased his pace. Wade reached for the hem of my shirt, one borrowed from Logan, and went to pull it over my head. 

“No,” Logan rasped, thumb pressing against my clit, forcing a moan from me. “I like her in it.” Wade chuckled. 

“He’s such an animal, isn’t he?” Wade teased, but let the shirt go. “He loves marking his territory. It’s going to drive him crazy to smell his cum in you.” 

“Wade, shut the fuck up.” Logan’s other finger eased inside me, being as gentle as he could be. My eyes rolled back, mouth hanging open. “Look at me, sweetheart. Wanna see your face, wanna see how good I make you feel.” Wade pinched my chin and used it to angle my head down. I couldn’t see Logan’s face well in the dim room but I could see little dark splotches on his cheeks. His nostrils were flared and his chest heaved. 

“God you two look so hot.” I could hear Wade sucking on something before his hands went back to toying with my nipples. My hips jerked, forcing Logan deeper into me, at the feeling of Wade’s wet fingers. He pressed himself closer and I could feel the defined ridge of his cock against my back. 

Logan’s grip on my hip became tighter as he guided me over his hand in long rolls. “There you go princess,” he mumbled. “Make yourself feel good for me. Take what you need.” Fuck. Those words made desire rush through me. I leaned forward, hands braced on Logan’s wide chest, and started to grind against his fingers. I could feel his heart racing under my palms. He curled his fingers just right that made pleasure shoot down my spine. Wade’s hands slipped from me in this new angle. 

“Feel so good,” I sighed, nails pricking into his skin. Logan showed no reaction of pain, his whole focus on me. He pressed against my clit, the pressure just firm enough that my toes curled. “Logan,” I mumbled and reached for his free hand. He gave it willingly and I immediately shoved it up my shirt so he could take over where Wade had stopped. He played with my nipple like he did my clit, long, firm strokes across the sensitive nerves. “Oh god,” I gasped, pleasure pooling deep in my stomach. My hips became more desperate as I chased after the orgasm just out of reach. 

“Aw, Lo,” Wade cooed, faux sympathy dripping from his words. “You’re so hard, do you want some help?” Logan’s hips jerked under me, his fingers spearing deeper, hand briefly clenching around my breasts. I let out a strangled moan at the stretch and rocked my hips quicker. 

“Leave it alone,” Logan hissed, eyes finally darting from my face to glare at Wade over my shoulder. “Don’t need anything but her. I’m taking good care of you, aren’t I baby?” I nodded furiously. I could feel that tension growing in my stomach, that heady rush of heat just within arms reach. “You’re close.” It wasn’t a question and I was too focused on my oncoming orgasm to answer. “You’re so wet for me sweetheart, probably taste like heaven.” 

”Oh she does,” Wade agrees, kissing the nape of my neck. Everything, their words, the rough scrape of Logan’s hands on my most tender areas, the knowledge that Wade is watching, kicked me over the edge. My body went rigid for a moment, a moan caught in my chest, before I ground against Logan with renewed desperation. 

“Fuck, Logan,” I panted. My nails were dug deep into his skin, the warmth of his blood soaking into my fingertips. 

“There you go princess, I got you.” His fingers were pumping into me, fucking me hard through my orgasm. It was exactly what I needed. 

“Logan!” My blurry eyes opened to see him gazing up at me. I was too far into the waves of my orgasms to find his expression, but I smiled down at him all the same. He made a little noise, halfway between a grunt and a moan. 

Soon the pleasure faded and my hips slowed. My breath was uneven. For a moment, that was the only sound in the room. Then Logan’s hand snaked up from my breast to cup the side of my neck. The neckline of the shirt stretched to accommodate his thick forearm. “Alright?” I hummed, little aftershocks rippling through me, my hips jerking over him. Once I stilled fully, his fingers left from me. I whimpered at the loss. He slipped his sticky fingers into his mouth, eyes rolling closed at the taste. 

“Come on baby muffin,” Wade breathed against my neck, licking a drip of sweat off the skin. “Let’s put on a show for him, yeah?” 

“Okay,” I sighed, “just one second.” I leaned closer to Logan, tongue flashing out to lick at the fingers still in his mouth. “Gimme a kiss,” I weakly demanded. He obeyed, removing the digits and dragging my face closer by my chin. His tongue delved into my mouth, the tang of me thick on it. I drew back with a faint smile before I nipped his bottom lip. 

“Let’s go, I’m not known for my patience,” Wade playfully growled, giving my ass a light spank. I giggled, rolling off Logan’s torso, the bed squeaking a little under me. Wade’s hands slid between my legs and spread my thighs apart. He hooked his fingers through my panties and inched them down my legs. I blushed as I felt the fabric cling to my wet pussy before it slipped away. “There you go, you nasty old man.” Wade tossed the bundle of wet fabric at Logan’s face again. The older man made an annoyed sound, throwing the sticky panties near my laundry hamper. 

“I don’t need it.” 

“You didn’t say that with the last pair,” Wade teased, my borrowed shirt climbing up my stomach. “You know,” he said, voice low like he was letting me in on a huge secret, “that last pair I grabbed was ruined. You wanna know how?” 

“Wade,” there was a hint of embarrassment in Logan’s voice. But I nodded eagerly, lifting my arms to let Wade slip the shirt off me, biting back a small giggle when he tickled across my ribs. 

“He made me come in them and then let me fuck him while they were shoved in his mouth.” Heat burned down my neck. “I can’t even see you, but I know you’re all turned on and pink.” Wade backed off the bed, shimming his pants down his narrow hips. I propped myself up on my elbows and squinted in the darkness, trying to take his naked body in. The shadows played across the ridges of his stomach, the V of his waist, and unfortunately lingered between his legs, completely obscuring what I actually wanted to see. “You look cute when you pout like that.” Wade clambered back over me, settling between my thighs, hands braced on either side of my head. His cock was heavy and warm as it rested on my stomach. “You know how long I’ve been waiting for this?” 

“I can take a guess,” I mumbled, arching my neck to brush my lips against his. A bead of warm liquid dribbled onto my stomach. “Why don’t you fix that?” He kissed me back, light pecks and lashes of his tongue on my lips. 

“As you command, my love.” My heart stuttered at the casual way he said the word. Wade leaned back on his knees, his fist pumping over his length. Just as he was lining himself up, my stomach tight in anticipation, Logan’s hand wrapped around Wade’s cock, stilling him. “You can wait your turn, peanut.” 

“Shut up you idiot.” Logan’s forearm flexed and Wade’s hips jerked with a strangled noise of pain. “Sweetheart, do you have condoms?” 

“No, but you guys can’t give me anything can you?” Logan shifted closer, his face becoming clearer in the dim light, there was a pinch of concern on it. 

“No, but we can get you pregnant all the same.” Logan’s nose twitched, clearly smelling that I got even wetter at the idea. “Fuck,” his voice was gruff, forehead falling to my bare shoulder. 

“Stop smelling me,” I hissed. “Anyways, I’m on birth control. Now let Wade fuck me.” Logan sighed and let Wade go. He took his cock in his hand, sliding it through my folds, rubbing my slick into his skin. 

“Ooh,” Wade teased, tapping my clit with each roll of his hips. “Remind me to get on your bad side. I like how you sound angry. Much better than big boy over there.” Wade notched himself at my entrance, pausing for a beat, then pushed into me. I moaned, back arching. He was so warm and twitching already. “Shit baby,” he mumbled, his focus solely on where he disappeared into me. He took his time, giving me an inch, before withdrawing, then working another in. 

It was absolutely maddening. 

“Wade,” I whined, the slow drag of his cock through my sensitive walls making my head spin. It seemed like he was never ending. I wanted him deeper and I tried to force it, but his grip was iron tight on my hips, completely freezing me. 

“Let me savor this, yeah? I only get this for the first time once.” His hips pressed flush to mine, all of him buried deep. He lifted my waist, the change in angle made my stomach clench, as he worked even deeper. 

“Fuck,” the word trembled as my eyes rolled back. The bed next to me creaked, then Logan’s lips were on my neck. He only left a few bites before he was trailing down my chest, tongue tracing along the hollow of my throat, the line of my collar bones. His beard scraped against my flushed skin as he moved. 

“I see what you mean,” Wade sighs, “she flutters so much when you kiss her neck.” He pulled out, just the tip lingering, before he surged forward. It wasn’t rough, but it made my breathing hiccup, ankles locking around him, heels digging into his ass. Logan’s tongue traced down my breast before circling a firm nipple. My hands locked into his hair, keeping him close. Wade continued his slow, torturous, push and pull. He was long enough that at this angle, he was able to rub against my sweet spot on each stroke. 

“Faster,” I pleaded, tightening my legs around him. This pace was only making me feel feverish, more desperate. I needed an edge, that bite of roughness, especially now. The nightmare was long forgotten but I could feel the lingering emotions in the back of my mind.

“Being so gentle,” Logan hummed against me, the hot air dancing over my wet nipple. I bit my lip at the feeling. “I would have thought you’d be fucking her like a rabbit.” When Wade didn’t respond, Logan titled his head to face him. “You really going to come already?”  

“You’re going to be the exact same way,” Wade huffed, shoving Logan’s face against my breast a little too aggressively. “You’re probably going to cry when you have her wrapped around your ancient dick.” Logan growled, sitting up straight, uncaring that I ripped several of his hairs out. He gripped Wade’s face, silver claws breaking his skin and glinting in the dim light. 

“Fuck her like she wants, or I’m going to.” Wade smirked. His face tilted, the edges catching on Logan’s claws, blood trickling down his bumpy skin. Shock mingled with the pleasure simmering in me. Wade had stalled in his movements so I was forced to wiggle my hips the best I could, giving myself a little friction. 

“Look at her Lo,” Wade nodded down at me, like there was anyone else her could be. “She likes it when you're rough with me. I knew you were lying about not wanting knives to be involved.” Wade seemed to enjoy watching me struggle. I reached up, Logan’s claws glancing across the back of skin, and bent Wade’s body in half, capturing his lips in a desperate kiss, arms latching tight around his neck. I bit at his lip hard enough to break the skin, hot liquid dripping into my mouth. Wade grunted in shock, his hips jerking roughly into me.

“You said you fucked harder with them involved,” I murmured between kisses. “Prove it.” Wade’s arms curled around my waist, clutching me close, plunging deep on a harsh thrust. I groaned, eyes fluttering, the angle making my thighs tremble. 

“Knew you had a mean streak in you.” His hips snapped into me finally giving me that needed roughness. I continued my sloppy kissing, nipping and sucking on his rapidly healing lips. His blunt nails dug into the soft skin of my hips as he gripped tighter. Another pair of calloused hands traced up my thigh, feather light as they moved up my skin. Wade trailed his lips along my cheek and jaw. Fingers pinched my chin and dragged my face to Logan’s. He littered my face with light pecks as Wade went to my neck. 

“Is he finally making you feel good? Took him long enough, huh?” 

“Do you,” my voice broke as Logan slipped his hand between Wade and I’s bodies, rolling his fingers over my clit. “Do you have to antagonize each other all the time?” 

“Yes,” they said in unison. Logan’s mouth went to my neck again, his teeth sinking into the curve of my neck, nearly hard enough to break skin. My hand went back to his slightly sweat-dampened hair while the other laid across Wade’s flexing shoulders. With both of their mouth’s occupied, the only thing filling the room was the wet sound of Wade pounding into me and my ragged gasps.That familiar swirl of heat was growing in me. My head felt light, overwhelmed by all the sensations. 

Wade’s forehead pressed between my breasts, his own uneven breath coasting across my sweaty skin. “Fuck,” he mumbled. His pace was losing its consistency but none of its harshness. Logan’s fingers on my clit picked up in speed, the scrape of his callouses extra intense on my tender skin. I whined, my body shuddering as pleasure shot through me. Logan’s mouth slanted against mine and swallowed down all my noises. It wasn’t quite a kiss, I was quickly growing out of breath to linger too long, but Logan didn’t mind. 

Wade was adjusting my position in tiny ways, a slight tilt to the right, a little lift, a small drop. I figured it was just a coincidence until he hit that perfect spot inside me that would have made my eyes cross if they weren’t already closed. I let out a strangled wail of Wade’s name, nails ripping into his shoulder. “There we go,” he panted. 

It only took four more strokes. 

“Wade, I- I’m gonna,” I barely got the words out before the hot coil inside me snapped. Just like Logan’s fingers before, Wade fucked me through my orgasm, groaning at the tight squeeze. Logan slowed over my clit, knowing that overstimulation was creeping up. 

“In or out?” Wade’s voice was clipped, hips finally losing all sense of rhythm, just becoming uneven jerks. It was hard for him to even move with the vice grip my legs had around him. 

“In, ah Wade, in please!” He made a choked noise, somewhere between a moan and whine, as he pushed in as far as he could with a shudder. Warmth spread through me as he came with a long groan. “Fuck,” I mumbled, my hips still trembling from the aftershocks. 

Our bodies slowed, all the shakiness easing out of us. Wade kept me close even when my legs fell from his hips. He laid his cheek against my sternum, body growing heavier over me as he relaxed. I gave his head a weak kiss just as another pair of lips found my cheek. “You okay baby?” I smiled at Logan, feeling just a little giddy. 

“Yeah.” Logan smirked back and I blinked sleepily at him. Wade was softening inside me and drips of cum traced down my skin to the bed. I winced at the stickiness. 

“I’ll get you a towel,” Logan said, already moving to get off the bed, legs on the floor. My arm stretched to grab his fingers. 

“It’s your turn.” I couldn’t see his face too well, but I saw his head tilt in question. I chuckled. “Wade, get off me now.” He groaned, sucking a hickey right on my chest before rolling next to me. I moved to my hands and knees, crawling across the mattress to be face to face with Logan. I heard his breath stutter. “Cleaning up can wait can’t it?” My hand slid between his legs, gripping his cock through his boxers. “How do you want me?” I felt him throb in my grip. 

“Jesus,” he huffed. I littered his neck in licking kisses while I awaited his response. “Go sit on Wade’s face.” Now it was my turn to look at him confused. He smirked, a flash of a pointed tooth catching in the street light outside. “Don’t you trust me princess?” Reluctantly, I released him, turning on my knees to inch across to Wade. I made sure to shimmy my ass for Logan as I moved. 

“Oh dessert.” I had barely swung my leg over Wade’s face before he pulled me down by my hips. His tongue parted my folds, flicking aggressively at my tender clit before sliding back and licking his cum from me. I shuddered, hands gripping his head. The bed shifted and I felt Logan’s palm slide up my spine before cupping my neck gently and guiding my torso to be flat to the bed. I braced myself on my elbows, adjusting my hips, the new angle only allowing Wade to continue his torture on my clit. Calloused hands spread me farther open. Logan lapped away all the cum that had leaked down my thighs. I whimpered, fingers knotting the bed sheets. But the sound grew in volume and pitch as Logan joined Wade, tongues tangling briefly, before he speared into my leaking pussy. Wade laughed as I shook above him. His hot breath fanned across my wet skin and I had to bite my lip to stop from wailing. 

“How do we taste?” I had no idea who Wade was even speaking as he was practically smothered under me. Logan groaned, nuzzling his face deeper into me, his grip tight enough to leave bruises on my ass. His tongue curled, licking every inch of my clenching channel. The scratch of his beard was like little pinpricks of pain but it only made me push my hips against him harder. The sounds I was making were downright pathetic. Just when I didn’t think I could take anymore, he reared back, breath uneven. I glanced over my shoulder to find his eyes glued to where Wade was pinned. When he looked almost content to just watch, I shimmed my hips, grinding harder on Wade’s face. The man under me eagerly sucked my clit into his mouth and I sobbed at the feeling. 

“Shit,” he huffed, “you two are gonna kill me.” There was more adjusting and then I felt the blunt head of Logan’s cock at my entrance. Wade released my clit, opting to just rub his nose against it. It was enough friction to keep me satisfied, but not enough to make me come too quickly. “Beg for it.” 

“Aw you’re being so mean!” 

But I was all too eager. “Please fuck me Logan, please! Been thinking about it so long! I promise I’ll make you feel so goo-ah!” With one long stroke, Logan was buried to the hilt. Despite how wet I was and the extra slick of Wade’s cum, there was still the barest hint of pressure as he stretched me. “Oh god,” I whimpered. Logan’s rough hands grasped my hips, giving an experimental roll. “Logan.” He shushed me, drawing his cock nearly out before plunging back into me. The force punched a moan out of me. “Like that,” I pleaded. 

“I’ll take care of you, sweetheart,” he hummed. His pace was languid, but rough. He used my waist as leverage to drag me closer for each thrust. With each pull, I was forced to grind myself against Wade’s face, who stuck his tongue out so I couldn’t escape the pleasure. I was so wound up, so close to the edge after two orgasams, that I could only take a handful of his harsh strokes before I was coming again. I buried my face in the sheets, shuddering whines falling from my lips. “Shit,” Logan groaned. Wade made a muffled noise as my juices dripped into his mouth. His own hands joined Logan’s, clutching me close. I could feel Logan’s thighs trembling where they were pressed against mine. 

I hadn’t fully finished my orgasm before Logan was moving in me again. He was far less restrained now, fucking into me with quicker thrusts. My toes curled. “Logan,” I sobbed. Despite the overstimulation growing in me, I arched my back, forcing Logan deeper.

“Feel so good, I can’t handle it,” Logan grunted. He bent over me, messily kissing at my spine and shoulder blades. “Too much?” His voice was quiet as it tickled along my neck. 

“No!” I cried, bouncing against him as best I could with both of them holding me. Wade chuckled and the vibrations made me nearly rip the sheets in my grip. “More!” Logan huffed a laugh, kissing the back of my neck, before his hand replaced it, pinning me to the bed. The pressure was enough that I knew not to move, but light enough that I could slip out from it if I needed to. 

Logan fucked into me like a man possessed, hips rutting into me with reckless abandoned. I had no doubt there would be faint bruises on my ass from him. But that pinch of pain only drove me higher. I felt drunk on all the sensations. Logan rubbing against my tender walls. Wade’s tongue as it rolled between my folds, tracing my entrance. The ache in my hips from being spread so long. My moans of their names grew more slurred before it just became whimpers. Tears stung my eyes and I let them fall freely. 

“Goddamnit,” Logan growled, his hand briefly flexing around the back of my neck. He was panting, if only a little, and I took it as a compliment. His hips moved quicker, the slap of his skin against mine echoing around the room. Wade’s tongue stopped wandering and honed back onto my clit, making tight circles around it. 

“Wade!” I cried out, body jolting. Logan’s hand suddenly went to my shoulder, jerking me up straight, my back flush to his chest. He banded an arm across my chest to pin me close while he drove into me. His lips found his previous bite mark and sunk his teeth into it. The feeling of my skin breaking was a dull burn, soothed by Wade between my legs. Heat burst through me, an orgasm that nearly knocked the wind from me. My hand went to Logan’s hair, fingers twisted deep into the strands, and held him close, weak sobs of euphoria escaping me. His other arm curled around my hips before he shoved himself as deep as he could with a little snarl into the skin clutched between his teeth. I could feel every twitch as he came, filling me to the brim. I shook in his embrace. If not for his iron grip, I would have fallen flat on my face on the bed. 

The first thing to move was Logan’s teeth from my neck. “Fuck.” His worry was clear as he licked the dripping blood away. “I, I-shit, I didn’t mean to, I just got so caught up in you.” My weak hand slid from his hair, caressing his jaw. 

“S’okay,” I slurred. Exhaustion was quickly catching up to me. ”Felt good.” 

“You really can’t help but bite any piece of meat you see huh?” Wade’s tongue swept between my folds again, lapping up Logan’s cum as it leaked from me. Logan growled. I felt Wade’s fingers brush against me, curling around Logan’s softening cock before tugging it out. I whined as he obnoxiously slurped the mixture of cum from me. 

“Stop it,” Logan growled. “Make yourself useful and grab a towel.” With lots of adjusting, Wade was able to wiggle out from under us. But he didn’t go to the bathroom, instead he cupped the back of Logan’s head, meeting him in a kiss. Logan groaned. 

“Taste good right?” Wade leaned back, grinning, before licking Logan’s face from chin to nose. 

“How about you go grab a towel before I put my claws through your chest, yeah?” If anything, Wade’s smile grew wider, more wild. 

“Okay, okay. How about I get a towel to clean our precious girl up and then we can have some fun while she recovers?” Logan sighs. 

“Fine,” he grumbled. Wade shimmied in excitement, giving me a wet peck on the cheek, before disappearing out of the bedroom. My heavy head fell back on Logan’s shoulder. “Do you feel better now?” I gave a weak laugh and nuzzled my face against his cheek. 

“I can get used to this.” Logan hummed. 

“Me too sweetheart, me too.”

[fxirybun]

🪷 PAC: your platonic soulmate’s personality

this is a collective reading ! take what resonates and leave what doesn't. i cannot guarantee 100% accuracy. take the pac reading lightly ჱ̒ ｰ̀֊ｰ́ )

ෆ⸒⸒ pile one 🥀

hello there pile one ! your platonic soulmate is someone who's giving a bad bitch energy and doesn't allow themselves to be taken for granted. whoever this person is i feel that they have a powerful energy within them , it's like if someone wants to bully you your platonic soulmate is more than ready to throw their hands at them lol.

i can see that their tongue is as sharp as a knife , a metaphor for how direct their words are and how others would think that your platonic soulmate is very harsh or domineering. they're outspoken and aren't afraid to voice out their opinions since they believe that their statement holds truth in it.

this person has a confident presence within themselves and i'm getting that they may be into manifestation. it's as if they can turn all their ideas into tangible plans because they have this inner willpower to create those opportunities and they have the right equipment to turn their desires into a reality. due to them having a wide variety of skills , people are jealous of them and would do the means to bring your platonic soulmate down.

this doesn't stop them though 'cause they're the kind of person who seems to thrive in a competitive environment. it allows them to exert more bold effort since your platonic soulmate wants to prove their enemies wrong.

ෆ⸒⸒ pile two 🪻

hi , pile two ! i'm getting a hint that your platonic soulmate may have gone through a terrible heartbreak in their life and how it brought them a baggage of emotional pain. this experience made them more cautious when letting someone enter their life. regardless of past wounds , they know how to deal with this lingering pain through means of healing. it also allows your platonic soulmate to be wiser and more empathetic.

i feel that they're someone who has a layered personality , similar to an onion. in addition , this person is presumably able to face any havoc that will come their way. they can be both compassionate and courageous simultaneously and how they are being perceived as a source of support for others due to their encouraging words.

they seem to be the kind of person who appreciates forming a mutual connection with others. i sensed that your platonic soulmate is currently in the process of learning to let go of the heaviness that they've been carrying in their back. whoever this person is , they seem to tend to take too many responsibilities that lead them to overcommit.

the good news here is that this person is releasing all this pressure that they're feeling because they're striving to create a balanced life where they are not overwhelmed. they garnered the strength to withstand the mist.

ෆ⸒⸒ pile three 🦋

hello , pile three ! i can see that your platonic soulmate is someone who just goes with the flow. their personality reminded me of that one student in class who's labeled as the "joker" due to how unhinged or funny their jokes are lmao. they love to spread positivity to the people around them including the environment itself , making them the kind of friend who is fun to be around.

this person is not afraid to explore the unknown just so they can go on board for new experiences , not allowing fear to gain control over them. despite their carefree personality , your platonic soulmate knows how to be serious when it is needed , especially in situations that are not for the fainted heart. this person is aware of balancing their free-spirited nature and their mature side when it comes to confidential matters.

i feel that your platonic soulmate is someone who cares deeply about their loved ones , especially those who are considered dear to them. they have this gentle approach and seem to know how to comfort someone in troubled times. this person is an expert in trying to connect to someone on an emotional level.

i kept hearing the lyrics "you've got a friend in me" from the movie toy story and how it resonates with this reading about your platonic soulmate. you can always rely on them , pile three ! as i'm getting this ride or die , bonnie and clyde , best friends for life dynamic.

[slasher-jaxshitposts]

TW: vent

I hate not having any control over my own life. I hate not being allowed to choose what I wear, what I do, and what I control. I hate being told to do the dishes everytime the sink is full, I hate being the family therapist, I hate not being allowed to relax without being shamed for it.

I tell my sisters no to something that will make a mess if I don't watch them closely, then being forced to give it to them anyways by THEIR father and still have to clean up THEIR mess.

I hate having to do the dishes when their are other people in the house who can do it, then being told the way I do it is wrong.

I hate being threatened to have my hair ripped out of my skull if I don't do what I'm told.

I hate being told I look TOO good in something by my mother and then those pants or that shirt get taken from me and put in my moms drawer.

I hate being told that only skanks wear cropped tops and not to walk around in only a bra and some shorts when I'm hot because my dad (step-dad) is in the house, or he has friends over that he could bring them in, but my mom wears crop tops, and she walks around in the store, at other peoples houses and other PUBLIC places in just a bra.

^But when I walk around OUR house, I'm asking for it

I hate wanting my hair cut, and eventually getting to the point where I want to cut it myself, but I can't. Wanna know why? Cause I'll get my ass beat for doing something I've been BEGGING my mom to do for the past year or so.

i hate being told the hair cut I want is too short, or too boy like, or it doesn't match my face, that it'll make me look ugly.

I hate being expected to let my mother rant to me, but get scolded if I try talking about my feeling with her.

I hate telling my mom things I wanna do, then her tell me no and that I have to do something because she had to.

I hate being told not to let people see me cry, not to let people see me weak, not to let them think I'm weak, then being told I should cry more, and let my feelings out when my dog gets killed.

I hate having to fake my tears so that my mom thinks I'm alright.

I hate that every time I sit down I'm automatically not doing anything, that I'm always so lazy, that I don't do anything.

I hate being the one who has to talk myself out of panic attacks, then when I tell my mom, she just tells me not to let myself.

"Why are you putting yourself the panic attack? Why are you letting it beat you?" She says

But god forbid if one of my sisters start having a panic attack. And I get it, their 5 and 7, yes worry about them, but I'm 15, I want my mom to about me like that.

I hate feeling like I have to fight my feelings.

I hate wanting to be a man just so I can feel some kind of control, and I still don't feel like I can control anything.

I hate the way my step-father has made me hate men, but I still want their love.

I hate feeling like I need to fight for love.

I hate the empty "I love you"'s that come out of my mom, and stepdads mouths.

I hate the fact that I still love my mom, despite the things she's put me through.

I hate feeling like I'm never enough, like if I'm of no use to anyone, then why should they love or care about me?

I hate feeling like everyone expects so highly of me, and then are significantly disappointed when they actually get to know me.

I hate not feeling much of anything besides anxiety, fear, and anger.

I hate feeling smaller than everyone else.

I hate having to create different personas for every person I meet, just so I can be liked.

I hate not being allowed to be myself.

I hate feeling like crap everytime I'm not comfortable with doing something, because if I'm of no use to you, why should you care for/about me?

I hate not being able to focus on one project, and then feeling terrible because I never finished something.

I hate feeling sorry for others more than I do myself.

I hate not knowing when my next meal will be.

I hate being shamed for not eating because "we have plenty of food."

I hate having issues with certain textures of food, and having to go hungry because I don't like what my mom fixed.

I hate not liking certain tastes, then being forced to eat it, because I'm tired of starving myself.

I hate feeling like I'm bothering everyone else because of my feelings.

I hate feeling bad for snapping at my sisters, when they didn't even do anything wrong.

I hate being shamed for how little I eat, and how much I sleep.

I hate how I never get a break.

I hate getting shamed for taking a break.

I hate how my mom and step dad don't care about my hobbies unless it makes money that they can emotionally manipulate me into giving them.

I hate feeling like I can't trust anyone.

I hate losing weight, but still looking fat.

I hate wishing I had more things wrong with me, just so I feel like I have a reason to complain.

But most importantly...

I hate myself

And I'm sorry if you actually read all of this. You shouldn't have to listen to some stranger that you don't even truly know on the internet. Because you don't know me, no one knows me. They know a carefully designed version of me that was made just for them.

@puppet200 @purpleeggyboi @th3-r4t-48 @zeroisreallygood @im-a-simp898 @luciluck2046 @evry1h8s-me @aflairforthemelodramaticc @caretaleandotherstuff

[farshootergotme]

Do you know if Dick has ever struggled with drinking in canon?? Besides when he was Ric maybe (bc he consistently hung out in a bar). Bc I've seen a few people say he has in the past but I haven't seen any comic panels/proof saying or implying he did. Just curious :3

I don't think I've ever heard of him having any trouble with an alcohol addiction before?

As far as I'm aware, he only drinks every once in a (long) while, most often when he's hanging out with friends, which is as often as the average person (legally) drinks.

Nightwing 1996 #141

Nightwing 2016 #15

(Tried to find more moments, but only found these two with Wally. It's possible there's more though, but as you can see, it isn't so common as to easily find anything about it)

And here's yet another moment with Wally in which they go out together to a bar but this time don't order any acholic drinks, which shows he isn't all that inclined to drink even if he has the chance to.

Nightwing 2016 #21

(Or perhaps he only feels comfortable doing so in a safe space where danger is much less likely to be present? Since we can see both times he's seen with alcohol he's at his house)

One more example of this: Dick drinking water while Bruce is holding a glass of wine.

Tales of the Teen Titans #50

(but it could be possible that in this occasion it's because Dick wasn't old enough to drink since I believe he's around 19-20 in this panel, and during the 80's the legal age was already raised to 21)

So, yeah, no struggles with drinking from Dick. I'd even say we've seen him more often drinking coffee or preferring tea without even considering alcohol.

From what I know, Roy is the only one who's dealt with an addiction in the main Titans team. And in the batfamily, Jason is the one I'd say has a liking for drinking, but not to the point of it becoming a struggle. Or perhaps Bruce you could also count as he often attends dinner parties in which is courtesy to drink something, but knowing him he'd probably avoid drinking too much since most nights he needs to go out patrolling and alcohol certainly wouldn't help with that.

If there's anything Dick's addicted to is work. He's the biggest workaholic you'll ever meet. To him relaxing means doing missions and capturing criminals, and when he should be resting because he's in no shape to do that, he's solving cases or working out because he can't stay still without doing anything useful with his time.

And well, can't really blame him when work is really one of the few things he's known since little. It wasn't what one would picture when someone says "job", but at the circus he was technically working with his parents by being part of the act.

But this isn't related to what you asked, so I'll stop myself there.

Hope this helps answering your question!

[lost-in-fandoms]

https://www.tumblr.com/lost-in-fandoms/762168056269144064/thinking-about-streamer-max-who-lowkey-does?source=share

Omg. Omg!!!! Streamer Max my beloved! What does Daniel do when he stumbles onto Max's stream? I'm just imagining him clicking on a random link or something and suddenly bam he's got a face full of this pretty streamer with slutty short shorts!

(Anyway love your work and hope you have a great day!! 🥰)

You are so sweet I hope you have a great day too!!

Some slutty streamer Max to try and have something good to end the day with

Daniel sighs, rolling over towards the bedside table and grabbing his phone, checking the time for what feels like the twentieth time that night already.

4:42 am.

Just twenty minutes after the last time he checked.

He sighs again, sitting up slightly to drink some water, resigned to the fact that he'll probably won't get any sleep tonight either. If he's lucky, he'll get a couple hours when the sun is rising and then sneak a nap in somewhere during the afternoon.

He knows that jet lag is not helping, having landed in Perth from Los Angeles just two days ago, but he's been dealing with this insomnia for way too long to lie to himself any further. Sleep simply isn't coming.

He's tried most things already tonight, from the relaxing herbal tea his mom had recommended, to the white noise machine, to the podcasts, to the meditation. Nothing has worked.

He grabs his phone again, going through some of his messages and emails before clicking on the twitch app.

It's something new he's been trying the past couple of weeks, doesn't even remember who recommended it to him, and so far it hasn't worked, but at this point into the night he's willing to do anything. Whoever it was who first told him about it had been speaking about ASMR streams and music channels, but Daniel has been mostly browsing around, not really finding anything that catches his eye.

Tonight, he moves past the few streams he has followed already, scrolling through the live channels without looking for anything in particular, until something catches his eyes.

At first glance the stream doesn't look like anything special, even if the game itself looks cute, just a guy in a dimly lit room in a corner of the screen, mouth moving to say words Daniel can't hear yet, but.

The guy is sitting on a gaming chair, leaning back slightly in a way that Daniel doubts is fully comfortable, legs splayed, his short shorts bunched up to leave milky skin on display. He's using both hands to play, but just as Daniel is watching, slightly transfixed, he laughs, probably at something in chat, and brings one hand away to lightly scratch at his neck and then down to his leg, pulling it more to the side, fingers grazing on his crotch.

Daniel swallows.

He taps on the screen, opening the stream without really thinking about it, finally letting the guy's voice play through the speakers.

"...just for 40 more minutes. No, you cannot bribe me for one hour, Kiks, not even if you use the cute emote. I have work."

He has an accent, a lisp that comes out when he says Kiks, bright blue eyes and a lovely smile. And a hand that is still on his dick.

Daniel's eyes fall on the name of the stream, Farming some slimes, which tells him nothing, and the name of the game, Slime Rancher 2, which tells him that at least he's not in some sort of secret porn category, before going back to the camera square.

The guy is now playing again, hands just barely in view from where they're wrapped around the controller, and Daniel takes a breath, trying to gather his bearings after feeling like he's just been hit over the head with an hammer.

The chat is scrolling by slowly, his 236 viewers obviously not all interested in talking, so Daniel has no problem catching the last few messages. It's mostly people complaining about the guy leaving early, the person he was talking to earlier, KicksforKiks24, offering to gift some subs if he stays longer, and Daniel wonders if he is the only one noticing the absolutely sinful thighs on display here.

Nightnectior: What if I ask really nicely Max?

The new message pops up in chat, and Daniel watches as the streamer, Max apparently, laughs again, shaking his head.

"No, Night, I told you, I have things to do early in the morning."

Okay, maybe Daniel is the weird one here. Maybe he is the only one thinking about Max's legs and reading his posture wrong. Maybe he is the only perv in this chat, and everyone else is absolutely normal.

Severson: would love to see you do /things/ in the morning

Daniel chokes on his spit.

He's expecting Max to ignore it, or to delete the message, or to have any kind of reasonable reaction, but Max.

Max grins.

He blinks slowly, shifting on the chair almost casually, bringing one foot up to rest on the seat, shorts bunching up so much Daniel can see a hint of pubes, the outline of his balls and dick now fully visible, and then sliding a hand down his thigh to rest on his lower belly, fingers grazing his crotch again.

"Would you?" he asks, voice low.

Daniel has forgotten what Max's asking about. He's forgotten about anything that isn't the desire of sinking his teeth in the meat of his thigh, to have them wrapped around his head, and the knowledge that his dick is half hard already.

"I don't think that's how it works," Max says, in response to a message Daniel doesn't even care to look at right now. He's barely aware of the chat going faster now, more messages popping up in a rapid succession.

"Oh look at all of you, coming out to play."

Max's hand slides lower, now fully on his dick, as he giggles, a sliver of his stomach exposed too. Daniel's heart is beating in his ears. He doesn't know what's happening.

There's a new sound on the stream, something that startles Daniel out of his daze enough to realise someone has just donated €50 just to call Max a pretty boy.

Daniel wonders how hard it is to figure out how donations work. How much he can donate without his bank blocking his account. How much it would take for Max to do something.

He swallows, feeling slightly insane.

Max's fingers squeeze once.

Daniel's breath stutters in his chest, his hands twitching, wanting to touch himself too but so transfixed he doesn't dare moving.

And then Max shifts, grabbing the controller again and sitting up a bit, shirt falling back into place. Even if the outline of his dick is still clearly visible, something in the spell breaks, letting Daniel breathe again.

He can still feel his heart rabbiting in his chest, his mouth dry. His dick is hard under the sheets.

With a trembling finger, Daniel presses follow.

[thefirst3chapters]

Thinking about the car accident aftermath in "Teach Me Tonight" again:

Luke is understandably all over the place in the episode where Jess is sent to town. He's simultaneously buying Frosted Flakes and explaining to a skeptical Lorelai that all Jess needs is someone to "give him a little space" and "treat him like a man." Luke resists Lorelai's overreactive but not entirely unreasonable questions and advice until he responds to Jess's defiance and declaration of not wanting help by pushing him off the bridge. Then, he goes right to Lorelai as he panics about not being cut out to raise a kid (he's made a big mentality shift here!) because of having "no patience for jam hands." She reminds him that Jess isn't a toddler, but this situation is going to take work.

Fast forward to "Teach Me Tonight." The first two things Rory tells Lorelai over the phone in reference to the accident are "I need you to be calm" and "I'm alright." Rory has already buried her own reaction and is trying to put Lorelai at ease as much as she can; for not the first or the last time, she has to be the more mature person in their relationship. Lorelai demands that Rory have extra tests that the doctor didn't recommend, and then she leaves Rory at the hospital to hunt Jess down. It isn't Lorelai's intent to make Rory carry both their emotions by herself, but that's what ends up happening even though Lorelai is extensively focused Rory's physical injury. It says a lot about how Lorelai and Rory function as each other's peers and as each other's parents. The only person who will offer advice that matches the injury Rory actually has, listen to how she feels about the accident, and validate her perspective is Luke.

When Luke finds Jess hunched over on the bridge, Jess doesn't say anything about his own safety or ask Luke to stay calm. He just says, "I made sure she was okay." This is of course reflective of how much Jess cares about Rory and how devastated he is about her getting hurt, but it also strongly suggests that it doesn't even occur to Jess that his own well-being would matter to Luke. One could understand why Jess might've thought that way; Luke is openly, sometimes extremely, protective of Rory and continues to be when Rory is years older than Jess is here. He confronts both Dean and Logan unprompted on Rory's behalf. He wants to intervene when Rory decides to leave Yale and maintains a warm relationship with her even though he avoided addressing Jess's school/work situation directly until he kicked him out and later yelled at him for returning for his car. We know what's in Luke's heart here, though, because he just explained it to Lorelai at the cost of their relationship. He won't rest until he knows both kids are okay.

Luke could've in this moment screamed at Jess for being reckless with Rory, damaging property, smoking, and throwing a wrench in his friendship with Lorelai. He could've demanded that Jess be a man and stick around to repair the damage and face the wrath they both know is impending. He doesn't do any of those things, though. He sees how anguished Jess is and realizes now that he shouldn't have to be a man quite yet. Luke offers the precious comfort of immediately believing that Jess took care of Rory with "I know you did," and that's that. Of all the choices Luke could've made here, he chooses a quiet sort of mercy, so there they are in calming silence with their matching postures and green jackets and emotional repression in the same place where Luke shoved Jess into the water months earlier. Yes, there's an argument to be made that Jess going back wasn't the right way to handle this, but at the same time that choice has incredible compassion behind it.

The variety of parent/child relationships on this show is just so fascinating; it's a snapshot of families living in the same time and in the same place, and no two dynamics or perspectives on how a child should be raised are the same. These relationships are all deeply flawed and are sources of immense harm at times, but they're grounded in so much love.

[cdroloisms]

a little ramble about dreblr, meta, and the ever evolving nature of this fandom, i guess?

i don't mean to soapbox, this is mostly just going to be vomiting some thoughts into a post. some recent stuff and a post or two have had me thinking about this fandom and how different it is from when dsmp was ongoing. it's,, pretty obvious that the fandom is quite a bit smaller and less active than that time, and there are generally a lot fewer people actively posting meta and such every day--which isn't necessarily a bad thing, and is natural obviously considering that the dsmp ended almost 2 years ago, but does mean that the culture around (?) meta and such has shifted, as well. it's one of those things too i think that is felt so much more obviously in dreblr, which is an even smaller group within this fandom that formed in response to uhhh being very much considered unwelcome by the greater fandom at the time.

that being said, as is the nature of all fandom, dreblr is still a community of people who are largely strangers who have gathered together because of one commonality: very strong feelings and often very strong opinions on the dream smp and c!dream. and i think when the fandom was more active, the entire fandom felt a lot more like a "pvp enabled" zone, lmao -- it was every other day when there'd be some new batshit meta about c!dream or some stream to react to and analyze and fight people about and whatever. since then, though, with the dsmp gone, the fandom has become quieter -- which i think has allowed some of the variation in opinions within dreblr become more and more obvious? and also become a sort of source of friction.

again, this is normal for any fandom. i'm certainly not here to agree with everyone about c!dream always, lmao. but the vagueing of takes is always more awkward on both sides when it's someone where you share more of the same circles. at the end of the day, it's up to each individual blogger's discretion to choose what they will or won't post on their own blog, but at the same time ... when it comes to the community, just speaking for myself, i don't want a super high barrier of entry when it comes to people feeling like they can't join this fandom unless they've got [xyz] experience or [xyz] takes.

when it comes to actual analysis of the source material, though, keeping meta a safe place for people to say "no, i don't agree with this take because of [xyz]" is important as well, which always raises the question of how said disagreements should be handled. and again, i'm no authority, i'm not here to tell people what to do. personally, when it comes to my own blog, i don't like to post very much directly about any one blogger, but I know I've definitely written posts inspired by specific takes before as well as screenshots of takes from the fandom's heyday, etc. i don't necessarily feel uncomfortable with this ...? but at the same time, i know that vagueposts can be a source of discomfort, especially if they're about your take in particular (speaking from experience) -- so it's you know. not the easiest line to draw, I guess, especially when we're talking about a community where different people are going to have different levels of comfort with what they post on their own blogs and what other blogs do in response to their takes. and whatever.

vagueposting, i think, has been common in the tumblr dsmp fandom for a long time, and especially in dreblr -- direct engagement in the past errr usually went badly, so a habit formed of keeping everything we did kind of within our own spaces (hence why many of us don't even tag c!dream or even dreblr on most of our posts; keeping everything untagged, or keeping the tagging system restricted to our own blogs, limited the possibility of trouble). that being said, vagueing within dreblr has become more common, i think, as disagreements within dreblr have become more and more obvious in the time since the dsmp ended. (just for the obvious example: i think it's a bit of an open secret that i, personally, strongly disagree with much of the common depictions of c!drunz in this fandom. i've written some meta about this before, as well as some responses to meta--which i enjoyed greatly, believe me--but i've also noticed (perhaps coincidence) an uptick in c!drunz positive meta every time i or someone else makes a post that maybe skews more negative. which is normal, don't get me wrong, but also a pattern i've noticed. i'm also very aware that someone the arguments i may bring up as counterarguments or structure my posts around arguing against are based on actual arguments i've seen while in this space, which i'm aware is an easy source of friction within dreblr.) and it's easy to say "don't take it personally when it's just metaanalysis," but that's easier said than done, lmao, especially depending on the tone of the vaguepost and a myriad of other factors.

i'm not saying that i have the answers. or, for that matter, a single answer. the boundaries i set aren't going to be the same as the boundaries other people set, for one, and i have no desire to police what other people do on their own blogs. i do miss, sometimes, the more collaborative and discussion-based meta experience of this fandom when it was more active--i might try to more actively reblog posts (including those i don't necessarily agree with) to discuss this server and these characters, bc at the end of the day that is kind of why we're here. personally, i've always drawn a pretty sharp distinction between fanwork and analysis -- i think it's pretty bad form to criticize people's AUs In General (not that i've not. been guilty of it in the past, but i try at least to keep it to criticizing more general patterns within fanwork; look, i'm not going to claim a moral high ground, i love bitching way too much and should probably get a handle on that but asj;lkfdsaf) but when we're talking meta about the source material, barring shit like. you know, harassment and otherwise abusive behavior, i do consider it more of a free-for-all. at the same time, i know that these standards can lead to newer fans feeling like they're going to be booed out the door for sharing their thoughts, which, i mean, isn't great 😭😭😭 fresh eyes can bring a lot of really cool new insights, and it'd suck pretty damn bad to miss that because they don't feel welcome, yknow?

anyway, this is a very inconclusive post, but i thought i'd just throw some of my thoughts out as someone who has been here for a decently long time. and if you want to discuss w/ me, inbox and dms are always open :)

[paikothecateater]

Currently working on a whale brothers + Sweden mini fic for an ask, but I feel like I have to point this out. (this is unrelated to the mini fic, I just wanted to assure the asker that I am working on it)

So, I'm sure most of you have seen this before.

It's a table of how the Nordics refer to one another.

I think this table is a pretty cool thing. It actually shows a lot more about their personalities than you'd think.

For example: Finland is the only one who calls Sweden 'Su-san' he's also the only one to refer to the other Nordics using honorifics or suffixes and this is actually very indicative of his relationship with the others.

(this is all information from Google, I can't speak for it's accuracy.)

The others do not refer to each other using honorifics which indicates a sense of over familiarity. It makes sense, but Finland being the only one who uses them indicates that he probably doesn't feel close enough to them to not use them. Either that or he's just too polite to.

He also refers to Sweden and Denmark with the suffix (San)

While for Norway and Iceland he uses (Kun)

This is actually also shown in the anime. He calls Sweden 'Mr. Sweden' and Denmark 'Mr. Denmark' though he does not do the same with Norway and Iceland. Now, Google did say that Kun is usually reserved for underclassmen and that may be the case for Iceland, but I'm not sure about how that reflects his relationship with Norway.

I've seen people talk about Denmark referring to Norway as his best friend and whatnot, but something I've never seen anyone bringing up is how interesting the usage of Boku and Ore is here.

Finland and Iceland refer to themselves with Boku. This is a generally more humble, polite and refined way to refer to oneself.

The other few use Ore which is described as being much less formal and a lot more masculine according to Google.

So essentially, the viking trio see themselves as big scary macho men, noted.

There's also something that generally intrigues me here.

Iceland has two ways of referring to Norway

Norway and Nore.

He uses Norway for international settings, but only uses Nore when it's just among the other Nordics.

According to Google there are a few reasons as to why that might be.

The one I've gotten most is this:

It's generally rude to refer to someone older than you by a nickname. It doesn't seem to matter any that they're in fact brothers. It looks like the same rules apply regardless of what relationship the two people have.

So it's just so he doesn't seem rude by calling Norway a nickname? I don't think it's that simple.

See, he calls all the others by a nickname, in fact, more so than anyone else. He doesn't change up in international settings for any of the others, even though, if anything, it would make more sense if he did.

Could it be his way of distancing himself from Norway in front of other countries? It would make sense. Iceland did always act embarrassed about being Norway's brother, so maybe this is his way of acting like they aren't as close as they are.

This is also something that happens with Denmark. Both he and Norway refer to Sweden as Sverige, but Denmark also refers to him as Sweden in international settings.

I don't think any of the last explanations work seeing as technically Denmark here is portrayed as Sweden's superior, so it wouldn't make sense for him to change it out of respect.

Google really did not help with this one so I had to come up with my own theory. While the others have some evidence in canon, this is just pure speculation on my part.

Denmark could be saying it in English to make it easier to understand when it comes to international settings. The Danish accent is known to be quite thick and hard to understand if you're not familiar with it. Denmark could be more comfortable with saying Sweden's name in Danish around the other Nordics as they're more familiar with his accent and could easily understand what he's saying.

What about Norway? Well, the Norwegian accent is considerably more coherent even to those unfamiliar with it.

You're more likely to guess what a Norwegian is saying through context clues than with a Danish person because you likely misheard what the Danish person said.

Sweden is also the only one to refer to Finland by... Well... Finland. The others all call him Fin.

We know by now that Sweden is very socially awkward so it makes sense that he wouldn't feel 100% comfortable calling Finland by a nickname, especially when Finland is the only person referring to him by an honorific. Sweden would likely worry that it'd be considered rude if he called Finland by a nickname.

There's something else I find a little interesting here.

Norway calls Denmark anko or Den

While Iceland calls Denmark Dan.

Why the difference between Den and Dan? Both the Norwegian and Icelandic words for Denmark start with Dan (Nor:Danmark, Ice: Danmörk), so why does Norway call him Den?

Maybe he's using the English spelling, but why would he do that? It's not like it's an accent issue. I actually have no clue as to why this is.

Another thing is Iceland being the only one to call Sweden by Sví.

We know in the anime and manga that Iceland has a particularly close relationship with Sweden, so it may be a product of that. Even when it's not directly shown, it's implied that the two are very close given that Iceland can pick up on Sweden's remote social cues better than anyone else. Is this historically accurate? I doubt it, but that doesn't exactly matter right now.

Here's another thing,

Finland's 'Ta-san' comes from the Finnish word 'Tanska' which translates to Denmark, but where does his 'Su-san' come from? The Finnish word for Sweden is 'Ruotsi'

Well it could be that (スウェーデン) the word for Sweden in Japanese is pronounced something like ( Suu-eden) so that's likely where it comes from. It's a little strange that he'd use the Finnish word for Denmark, but the Japanese word for Sweden.

Well, both Japanese and English are used in this table as what I'd like to call (base languages) the table operates under the assumption that whoever reads it either speaks Japanese or English, so they're used as though they were the same language. Essentially (Su-san) acts as (Swe-san) because (Ruo-san) doesn't help people who don't speak Finnish understand who Finland is referring to. Nordic, English and Japanese names for Sweden all start with the letter S. If I told you Sweden is referred to by 'Su-san' you'd probably think it's not that strange as an English or Japanese speaker, but if I told you he was referred to by 'Ruo-san' you probably would be very confused.

I'll quickly run down this one.

Norway calling Denmark Anko.

Anko is referred to as being (kind of like bro)

It is not in fact kind of like bro.

It means red bean paste.

Why does Norway call Denmark this? Well, it could be because of the red in his flag, but that's not what interests me.

Most Japanese nicknames are just shortened versions of one's name. Ice, Fin, Nor, etcetera.

Anko here is very interesting. It doesn't seem to be a common nickname in Japan. It could be that given that Denmark and Norway are referred to as best friends and are shown to be very close. This could be a classic case of a childhood nickname that carried in into adulthood.

Alright, that's all I have to say on this matter. As always, thank you for coming to my yap session. And for the asker who's waiting on that mini fic, I'm sorry for the wait. I just had to get this thought of mine out there before I forgot. I'll try to have the mini fic out as soon as humanly possible.

Also, let me know if you have any other theories about this name table because I'd be very interested to see if anyone else thought about this.

[pasaatimonarkin]

No crying in the Burlesque club I part 5

Han Jisung x reader feat. OT8 Stray kids

Mafia!au

Warnings: cursing, guns, mentions of blood, sexual language, SMUT at the end [please skip the end if you are a minor or don't feel comfortable reading smut]

Words: 7,3k [aka long]

part 4

note: I haven't read this through yet so if there are spelling mistakes, I apologize.

Your eyes opened slowly. You hadn’t slept that well in a while and it felt like you never wanted to wake up. But your eyes quickly widened as you saw the scene in front of you. You were snuggled against Han’s bare chest, his arm circled around your waist. You dared to look up and there Han was, already staring down at you with a sleepy smile that made your heart flutter. "Good morning” He murmured, his voice gruff with the remnants of sleep.

"Morning," you replied, almost whispering. He gently stroked your hair with his good hand. "How'd you sleep?"

You sat up, cheeks flushing pink with the realization of what had happened the night before. You had been dreaming of this moment in secret. Hoping he would feel the same as you. "I slept... fine," you said, your voice a little shaky. "How's your shoulder?"

Han nodded, grimacing slightly as he moved his arm. "It'll be okay," he said, his eyes never leaving yours. "Thanks to you."

You smiled but couldn't help but wonder if the kiss had been a mistake, if Han regretted it. If the kiss was just from the heat of the moment. You searched his expression, looking for any sign of discomfort or regret, but found none. Instead, his gaze was intense, as if he was trying to read your soul. The silence between you grew heavier, charged with unspoken words and unanswered questions.

It was like Han saw your uncertainty and took the lead. "I meant the kiss," he said, his voice low and sincere. "I've wanted to do that for a long time."

Your eyes widened in surprise. "You have?" you whispered.

Han smirked, the corner of his mouth tilting upwards in a way that made your heart race. "Yeah," he said, his voice taking on a playful tone. "You didn't know?" He teased.

You felt a warm blush spread across her cheeks. You were never sure if his constant flirting was because of his personality or because he had set his eyes on you from the start. "I... I didn't," you stammered.

Han sat up and leaned in, his eyes sparkling with mischief. "Well, now you do," he whispered, his breath tickling your ear. He brushed a loose strand of hair away from your face, his fingers lingering on your cheek. "And I'd be more than happy to repeat it, if you'd like."

Your pulse quickened, and you found yourself leaning into his touch, closing your eyes as you felt his lips brush against yours. It was a gentle kiss, his hand slid down to the small of your back, pulling you closer. Without thinking you wrapped your arms around his neck, deepening the kiss.

As you broke apart, Han smirked. "So, is this the part where you say you've always wanted to kiss me too?" His sarcasm was light, the tension in the room dissolving into a playful banter that felt both new and incredibly natural.

You thought about telling about your feelings but decided to take part in his play. "Maybe," you said, taking a small pause "But you're not getting off that easy. You owe me an apology for taking so long."

Han chuckled, the sound rumbling through his chest. "Oh, really?" He raised an eyebrow. "What's the going rate for a kiss these days?"

You smacked his chest lightly, trying to keep a straight face. "I'll think of something," you said, your voice laden with amusement.

Han's laughter was genuine, the kind that reached his eyes and made them crinkle at the corners. The sound of his laughter made you smile, you had never heard him laugh like that. Han leaned back on the pillows, his arm supporting his head as he watched you. "I'm all ears," he said, his tone playful.

Before you could come up with a suitable reply, a voice called Han from downstairs. It was Chan. The playfulness drained from the room as quickly as if someone had flipped a switch.

Your eyes grew wide with panic. "What do we do?" you whispered, your grip tightening on the sheets.

Han's expression turned serious, the playfulness vanishing like a ghost at daybreak. "I better go," he murmured, sitting up and swinging his legs over the side of the bed. "Let’s talk more later"

You nodded, your heart racing. If Chan found out about what happened he would be angry. He had made it clear that you shouldn’t be a part of his world. And shared feelings could be turned against you.

"Han!" The voice called out again, more insistent this time.

Your eyes darted to the door, and you fell back on the bed "Chan can't know," you whispered urgently.

Han nodded, his gaze never leaving your "I know," he said, his voice low and steady. He knew the rules of this world better than you. And he also respected your brother for wanting to keep those.

Han stepped to your bathroom, and you heard him turn on the shower. When stepped back into the room, he had a towel on his shoulder and hair wet, making it look like he just came out of the shower. He checked if his black jeans were fine as he had slept with them on.

With a final nod, Han strode to the door, leaving your room. "Be right there! I was just in the shower” You heard him yell before closing the door behind him. His voice was casual, like nothing else had happened.

You smiled to yourself, thinking about the last two kisses you shared with Han. You couldn’t believe everything that had happened during the weeks you had been in Strays house. It also dawned on you whether you could actually have a relationship with Han, considering the life he had. Could you still keep your own lifestyle with the Burlesque club? And what happens if Chan finds out?

Your mind was once again storming with questions. With a sigh you raised up from the bed and went to the bathroom. Maybe a hot shower would slow down your brain for a moment.

The rest of the day passed in a blur of tension and unspoken glances. You two moved through the house like two magnets, drawn to each other. You were too scared of Chan’s reaction that you decided to keep your distance.

The way you gazed each other made you have butterflies in your stomach every time. The feelings you had had about him felt to be increasing hour by hour. You couldn’t help but wander if Han shared the exact feelings too.

As night fell, you knew Han would be leaving the house soon, it was Tuesday. He, Changbin and Seungmin would be racing tonight and the others would be watching. You received a text from Han' "Meet me in my room”. The screen of your phone glowed like a tiny sun, illuminating your face in the darkened room. You quickly hopped off you bed and tiptoed down the stairs. When you reached Han's door, you took a deep breath and pushed it open. He was sitting on the edge of the bed, going through his phone. His outfit was all black like always: Black jeans with a t-shirt tucked into them and a leather jacket.

"I've got a race tonight," Han said without looking up. "I'm leaving soon."

"Can I come?" you asked, hope lacing your words.

Han's gaze finally met yours, and he smiled shortly before answering "You can't," he said firmly. "It's not safe."

You felt a pang of disappointment, but knew he was right. The underground street racing was fraught with danger, and you had no place there. "But I would like to see you race," you protested, voice a mix of desperation and longing.

Han sighed heavily. "I know," he said, his voice tight. "But you can't. I don't want to risk you getting hurt. I can’t keep my eye on you there”.

“I want to see what it’s like. What you guys do when you disappear on Tuesdays and Fridays” you tried to explain. "Besides you're hurt," you pointed at his shoulder. "I want to make sure you’re going to be alright”. You crossed your arms on your chest, trying to make yourself more believable.

Han stood up and with two steps he was standing right before you. “Lee Know is there to make sure my shoulder can handle it.” He took your hands in his and looked in your eyes. "Chan will be there, too. And if he sees you, he is going to be furious. He might not know about our feelings, but he knows we have been spending most of the days together. It’s going to seem like I brought you in the middle of danger in purpose”.

Your eyes stared back into his. It was true, he had been the one keeping eye on you for these past weeks which meant he sticked to your side like glue. And you also knew that Chan didn’t want you to be part of their world at all. Any day now he could be telling you to go back to your own apartment – surprisingly he hadn’t yet.

“Alright fine” you muttered, “But please explain what makes the races so dangerous?” you asked your voice going high, because you knew what the danger there was. Like usually you just couldn’t give up that easily.

Han smirked slightly “Oh I don’t know. You could say that the other mafia men with their guns and knives but I could be wrong” he sneered, voice full of sarcasm. Han gave your hands a gentle squeeze before letting go. "Jeongin is going to stay here. He'll keep you company," he said, his tone softer now.

You nodded, though you couldn't help but feel a twinge of annoyance at being treated like you always needed babysitting. "Yeah," you said, trying to keep the edge out of your voice. "I know he stays to babysit me."

Han chuckled. "Is that what you think?" He reached out and gently tucked a piece of hair behind your ear. "Maybe Chan just doesn't want you to be lonely," he said, his tone teasing.

"Yeah, right," you said, rolling your eyes, but couldn't help the smile that tugged at your lips because of his touch. The warmth of his fingers lingered on your skin, sending a shiver down your spine.

"Well, good luck then," you said with a sigh.

Han leaned in, his face serious for a brief moment. “Thank you. And don’t do anything stupid. Alright?”

Before you could respond, he closed the space between you and kissed you again, this time with a gentle passion that took your breath away. When he pulled away, his eyes searched yours.

Your heart was racing. Yeah, you were totally going to do something stupid. "Okay," you whispered, a new idea forming in your mind. "I'll be waiting for you."

Han nodded; his expression unreadable. "I'll be back before you know it," he said, turning to grab his keys from the dresser.

You watched him, your mind racing. You wanted to go, you wanted to see what happens there and most importantly, you wanted to be with Han. "I'll be waiting," you repeated, trying to hide your intentions in your voice.

Han's eyebrow quirked at your words, but he didn't question them and moved to the door. "See you when I get back," he said, his hand on the doorknob.

You watched him go, your mind already planning a way to go with him. Once you knew that Han wasn’t inside the house anymore, you left his room to find Jeongin. You checked the living room and there he was, laying on the couch. You sighed before entering, trying to make your voice steady "Hey, can you do me a favor?"

Jeongin looked up from his phone, his eyes half-lidded. "What's up?"

You took a deep breath, heart racing with excitement and fear. "Could you keep a secret for me?" you asked.

Jeongin looked at you quizzically. "What kind of secret?"

"I want to go to the race," you said. "I want to see what it’s like."

Jeongin's gaze sharpened, and he sat up straighter. "You know it's not safe for you," he said, his voice firm.

You nodded and sat next to him. "I know, but I have to be there," you said, voice filled with a fierce determination that even you were surprised "Please, Jeongin”

Jeongin studied you for a moment, his expression unreadable. He knew the risks of the streets, the danger that lurked in the shadows of the underground racing world. But he also knew what had happened between you and Han. See you were not the problem of gossip, but Han was. With a sigh, he nodded. "Okay," he said finally. "But only if you promise to stay safe."

Your eyes lit up with gratitude. "I promise," you said fervently. "Thank you, Jeongin."

He gave you a stern look. "If you get hurt, or if anything happens, it's on me," he warned. "And if Chan finds out, I’m dead meat and so is Han."

You nodded solemnly. "I know," you said, eyes shining with understanding. "I know how Chan would react”

Jeongin sighed, his gaze flickering with concern. "Okay," he said finally. "But you're going to have to be smart about it. Stay in the shadows, keep your head down."

You nodded eagerly, mind racing with the excitement of the plan. "I will," you promised. "Thank you, Jeongin."

Without wasting another second, you hurried up to the garage but stopped at the door to see if Han’s car was still in there. It was. Only his and Jeongin’s car remained, and you quickly made your way to Han’s car. Where should you hide? In the backseat? No, he will see me in there.

You heard steps and without thinking you popped the trunk open and climbed inside, closing it right after with a soft thud. Your heart was racing with a mix of excitement and fear. You could have just made up a huge mistake. The space was tight, filled with the scent of gasoline and leather. You curled into a ball, trying to make yourself as small as possible. The darkness was complete, and you could feel the car shifting slightly as Han climbed into the driver's seat.

The engine roared to life, and the car lurched forward, sending your heart racing even more. You had never done anything so reckless, so dangerous before. Yet here you were, hiding in the trunk of a car that was about to race through the streets of Los Angeles, driven by the man you had kissed the first time just last night.

The drive was a blur of turns and acceleration, the vibrations of the car resonating through your bones. You could feel the adrenaline pumping through your veins. The cold metal of the trunk pressed against your back. You had acted so fast that you couldn’t dress up properly as you were only wearing a white top and leggings- oh and no shoes.

When the car finally came to a stop, you waited with bated breath, listening for any sign of danger. The engine cut off, and the silence was deafening. You reached for the trunk release, hand shaking with anticipation. But it wouldn't budge. Panic began to set in as you realized you might be trapped. What if Han doesn’t look in the trunk? You couldn’t just start banging it or scream, someone else could hear.

You took a deep breath and tried to calm yourself, reminding herself that Jeongin knew where you were, you could text him if you were there too long. But the thought didn't do much to ease the anxiety gripping your chest.

The minutes stretched into an eternity, the silence in the trunk broken only by the distant sound of car engines revving and the occasional shout of excitement. You could feel the vibrations of the car, the throb of the bass from the stereos of nearby vehicles, and the occasional jostle as people moved around the car. You heart hammered in your chest, the excitement turning into fear.

You felt Han – or at least you hoped it was him – to sit on the driver’s seat and start the car. As the car started moving again, you realized with a jolt that Han wasn't just driving to the race; he was going to race with you in the trunk. Your breath hitched, and you braced yourself against the cold metal, knuckles turning white. The car picked up speed and the engine growled

The race had begun.

You felt the car come alive beneath you, the engine roaring like a beast unleashed from its cage. The sudden jolt of acceleration pushed your back against the trunk, your breath leaving you in a rush. Your heart hammered in your chest. You had never been this scared since the first might you were brought to Strays’ house when you were on Changbin’s motorcycle.

The car took a sharp turn, and you slammed against the side of the trunk. You bit your lip to keep a surprised scream leave your lips. Your eyes squeezed shut as the world outside tilted and swayed. The smell of gasoline grew stronger, mixing with the scent of rain-soaked streets and the faint hint of fear that clung to the air.

The car jolted as it hit a pothole, and you heard the squeal of tires as Han corrected the course. The engine roared in protest, and you felt the car shift gears. The reality of your situation began to set in. You were in the trunk of a car, hurtling through the streets of Los Angeles, with no way out. If you crashed, you would be trapped and probably dead.

And then, suddenly, it was over. The car came to a stop, the engine's roar fading to a purr. The world outside was quiet once more and you heard Han stepping out of the car. You waited, your breath shallow, listening for any sign of Han's return. You could hear the distant murmur of the crowd, the crackling of a radio, and the occasional clang of tools. The smell of burnt rubber and gasoline lingered in the air.

The moments dragged on, and then you heard it: Han's voice, low and steady, speaking to someone outside the car. "The first round went well." you heard the other voice say.

You heart plummeted. There were more rounds? The thought of being trapped in here, unable to move or breathe, while the car roared through the streets again was almost too much to bear. Panic set in, your breaths coming in quick, shallow gasps.

But then the lid of the trunk creaked open, a wash of cool, damp air filled the space. Han's face appeared; his eyes widened at sight of you in the trunk. "Y/n?" he barked, his eyes wide with shock. "What the hell are you doing in there?"

You voice was small and shaky. "I wanted to see," you said, voice barely audible over the clamor of the race. "I wanted to know what happens in these kinds of races."

Han's expression was a mix of shock and concern. "You could've gotten hurt," he said. His hand paused midair as if unsure of what to do next.

"I know," You whispered, her voice shaking slightly. "But I'm okay"

Han stared at you for a long moment, his eyes searching yours. Then, with a sigh, he offered his hand and helped you out of the cramped space.

"I don't know whether to be angry or impressed," he said finally, his voice a low growl that you could feel in her chest. His hand remained wrapped around yours, his grip firm but gentle.

You looked up at him. "I'm sorry," you began, but Han cut you off with a shake of his head.

"Don't be," he said, his voice gruff. "But you can't do that again." His eyes looking at yours, looking for any signs of injury or distress. "You could’ve been hurt. Badly"

You nodded, feeling the nausea from the race finally dissipate in the fresh air. "I'm okay," you assured him, voice still trembling. "I won't do it again. Being in the trunk was...terrifying."

Han's expression softened, a smile tugging at the corners of his lips. "You're one brave little thing, aren't you?" he teased, shaking his head in disbelief. Despite the danger, his voice was gentle.

"Or just a little crazy," you retorted, cheeks flushing at his words.

Han chuckled, his eyes crinkling at the corners. "Crazy enough to hide in a trunk during a race," he said, his voice a mix of amusement and concern. He squeezed your hand gently. "Come on, let's get you inside before you catch a cold."

You stepped into the garage, the bright lights assaulting your eyes after the darkness of the trunk. The space was filled with the sounds of mechanics working on cars, the smell of oil and gasoline thick in the air. Han led you to a quieter corner, behind a big tower of tires, his hand still wrapped around yours, protective and warm. "You can wait here," he said, his voice dropping to a whisper. "Stay out of sight, okay? Don’t let anyone, especially Chan see you"

You nodded and he took steps backwards to leave the corner but suddenly stopped. He took off his leather jacket and handed it to you. “Put this on, you’re shivering” he whispered. You took the jacket and with a nod, Han walked away. You hadn’t even realized you were shivering, mostly from the adrenaline than cold but appreciated Han’s thought and put his jacket on. It was warm and smelled just like him.

There was a small hole in the corner of the garage. Through it, you could see the tail end of the races, the cars zooming by in a blur of lights and color.  Your eyes searched the track, trying to find Han among the other racers. Your heart leaped in your chest when you finally spotted his car. You watched as he took turn after turn with skill, the tires screeching in protest against the wet asphalt.

The races ended with a flurry of activity, the air thick with the scent of victory and defeat. The engines wound down, the shouts of the crowd echoing through the garage. The other drivers began to file back. And then, finally, Han's car pulled into the garage, the headlights blinding you momentarily before they flickered off. You watched as he climbed out, his eyes scanning the area before landing on you.

"So, what did you think?" he asked, his voice gruff as he walked to you. There was a hint of a smile playing on his lips.

"I had no idea it was like this. I thought it would be messier”

Han chuckled, his eyes sparkling with the excitement of the race. “Yeah, it can be”

Before you could say more, the sound of booted footsteps echoed through the garage, and a familiar voice called out, "Han!" You recognized Chan’s voice immediately. You heart skipped a beat, and you stepped back further into the shadows.

"Go sit in the car," Han murmured urgently, his eyes darting towards the open garage door. "Lock the doors. I'll be out soon."

You nodded and didn't have to be told twice. You slipped away from the shadows of the garage and move to the car. You slid into the passenger seat. The scent of Han lingered in the air. With trembling hands, you locked the doors, the click echoing in the quiet of the garage. You watched as Han's silhouette grew smaller as he moved towards the other drivers, his shoulders squared, and his head held high. He was in his element like a king in the land of speed and danger.

You settled into the seat and took a deep breath. You tried to get comfortable, adjusting your position to alleviate the ache in your legs.  The garage outside grew quieter as the racers dispersed, their engines fading into the distance. The hum of distant traffic became the only sound, a lullaby to the city that never truly slept. The adrenaline from the race began to wear off, leaving you feeling drained and vulnerable. Your eyes grew heavy, and you felt like you could just fall asleep.

But just as you were about to drift off, the sound of the locks opening jolted you awake. You sat up with a gasp, heart hammering in her chest as the driver's side door creaked open.

"It's just me," Han said gently as he slid to the driver’s seat and closed the door behind him. You sighed in relief.

“So, now you saw what we are doing for two days of the week. Was it as interesting as you thought?” Han asked with a smirk as he started the car.

You rolled your eyes, “I don’t know what I expected”

“Gun fights, crashes, blood, hot chicks? Nah, we race for real” Han said half-mockingly and half serious, eyes fixating on the road ahead.

You felt kind of embarrassed for doing all that just to see that it was only a job for them. You looked through the window as Han was driving through the dark streets. Han placed his hand over yours and your head shot back at him. “I have to admit it was nice to know that you were watching me there” He smiled, drawing circles with his thumb on the back of your hand, “and I also have to admit that you look pretty sexy with my jacket on” he winked. You smiled back at him before laying back on the seat and closing your eyes. The warmth of the car made you sleepy and you decided not to fight it. As you were drifting to sleep, you felt Han’s hand on yours the whole time.

-

"Ready for the grand finale?" Coco's sultry voice echoed through the dimly lit dressing room, a question directed at the mirror as much as it was to you, Cherry and Lucky. Her eyes, sparkled with excitement as she applied a final coat of crimson lipstick.

You sat quietly in the corner and stared at Coco. You had to watch her flirt and give herself to Han even after you made it clear to her that Han was not available. Han turned down all Coco’s requests and said that he was not interested. For some reason Coco just didn’t give up, like she was determined to get Han to herself.

Cherry and Lucky were looking at Coco with the same feeling. You told them about you and Han and god you didn’t hear the end of ‘I told you so’s. They were as surprised as you that Coco was so bold and didn’t care if Han had someone or not.

The music grew louder, a seductive rhythm that seemed to pulse through the very walls of the club. A hush fell over the crowd, meaning the next performance was about to start. Your and Lucky’s shows were done, Coco’s and Cherry’s remaining. Coco turned to you with a wink. "Showtime, darlings."

You felt your heart clench in your chest as Coco sashayed out of the room, the sound of her heels fading as she went. It irritated even more as you knew how she would be acting on stage: trying to seduce Han as always. You hated being jealous and didn’t want to feel that way. But it was all so knew with Han still. You weren’t sure if you two were together together and if Coco could play her way to Han’s liking.

“You should go sit with Han, make his interest set on you. That will make Coco go nuts on the stage” Lucky winked at you.

“I don’t want it to seem like I’m using him to get back on her” you murmured.

“And you’re not. If you really want to be with the guy, show it. And make him show you that he doesn’t give seven shades of shit about Coco” Cherry said sternly but still smiled at you.

You thought about it and with a deep breath, you stood up and smoothed out your short, black dress. “Alright” you nodded, channeling the confidence you had seen in Coco's eyes, and made your way through the hallway. The air was hot and thick with the scent of hairspray and sweat. Emerging into the dim light of the side stage, you searched the sea of faces for Han. His gaze was on the stage where Coco was already swinging her hips to the music.

Ignoring the flutter of nerves in your stomach, you made your way through the packed audience. You reached had and without a word, you slipped into the empty chair beside him, your hand brushing against his. Han startled slightly, looking down at your intertwined fingers before meeting your eyes.

The music grew more intense, the spotlight moving to Coco as she continued her grand finale. You felt the heat of the lights on your skin as you watched Han watch Coco’s performance. His face was blank, not showing any reaction whatsoever but his eyes never left Coco

You tried to keep your expression neutral, but the tension was palpable. Coco's movements were a tease, each gesture calculated to provoke a reaction. The anger bubbled up inside of you, a potent cocktail of jealousy and frustration. You had never felt possessive before, but the sight of Han’s attention on Coco stirred something primal. Your eyes narrowed, the corners of your mouth turning down in a scowl as you observed the way Coco's hips swayed and her smile grew brighter with every seductive move. It was clear she was enjoying the effect she had on the audience.

Han was observant and sensed the shift in your demeanor. His eyes darted from the stage to your tightly drawn face, noticing the tension in your shoulders and the way your grip on his hand had tightened. He leaned in, his voice a low murmur against your ear. "You okay?" he asked, genuine concern lacing his words.

You took a deep breath and turned to look at him. “It’s just..I-“ you trailed off, unable to describe the feeling you had, you were irritated, frustrated, jealous..

"You're pissed," Han said, his voice gentle as he squeezed their hand.

You nodded, “yeah” you huffed. “It just seems like she is finding her way to carve into you” you admitted.

Han chuckled, the sound low and warm. "You're adorable when you're jealous," he teased, his thumb tracing lazy circles on the back of your hand. His eyes held a mischievous glint, a knowing smile playing on his lips.

You rolled your eyes, trying to keep the annoyance from your voice. "I'm not jealous," you protested weakly, but the heat in your cheeks betrayed you.

Han's grin only widened. "Sure, you're not," he said, his tone teasing as he stood up and tugged on your hand, motioning you to get up and follow him.

As you walked away, Coco's eyes followed you two, a flicker of annoyance crossing her face. You looked at her and saw her annoyance that Han was leaving in the middle of her performance. You couldn't help but sneer at Coco.

Han pulled you to the big bathroom and leaned against the sink, his arms folded across his chest. "So, you are jealous?" he said, raising an eyebrow.

You avoided his gaze, fidgeting with the hem of your dress. “It’s not that” you mumbled.

Han leaned closer; his breath warm against your face. "Then what is it?" he whispered, his eyes dancing with amusement.

You looked up at him, the anger in your eyes slowly giving way to something softer. "It's just... she's got you all worked up, and... " You paused, trying to find the right words. "I’m annoyed by that”

Han's smile grew into a full-blown grin. "So, you're more than just a little jealous," he whispered, his voice dropping to a playful growl.

You swatted at him, trying to keep the irritation from your voice. "I'm not jealous,"

"Really? Then why don't you tell me what you're feeling?" His eyes searched yours, the playfulness in his tone belying the seriousness of his question.

You felt the weight of his gaze and knew you couldn't keep it in any longer. “I already told you” you said quietly.

Han cupped your face with his warm, calloused hands, his thumbs brushing over your cheekbones gently.  "You know I don't care about Coco, right?" Han's voice was steady, his gaze unwavering.

Your eyes searched his, looking for any hint of dishonesty. "But it seemed like you like watching her" you accused, voice barely above a whisper, knowing you sounded stupid and jealous.

“I only enjoy your shows, Y/n," he murmured, his voice a gentle rumble that sent shivers down your spine. Before you could respond, Han's lips found yours in a kiss that was anything but gentle. It was a declaration, a promise, a silent reassurance that Coco's performance meant nothing to him compared to the connection he shared with you. His hands cradled your face, his fingers threading through your hair as he deepened the kiss.

Your eyes fluttered shut, your body responding instinctively to Han's touch. You melted into the kiss, feeling the anger and tension drain away as if it had never been there.  Han's kiss grew more insistent, his hands moving from your face to wrap around your waist, pulling you even closer. His tongue danced with yours and you wrapped your arms wound around his neck, fingers tangling in his hair.

When you finally broke apart, you both were breathless. "You're mine," Han murmured, his voice gruff with want. "Always." Your breath hitched, the possessiveness in his words sending a thrill through you. You leaned into him, feeling his chest against your own and the steady beat of his heart. "Then show me," you whispered, like you weren’t sure if you wanted him to hear you, but he did.

Han's eyes darkened, and without another word, he took your hand and led you back through the crowded club.

 He opened the door to a small, private dressing room next to the one where you usually spent time. This was the one Coco always used, needing to have her own room. Han pulled you inside. The room was a whirlwind of feathers and fabric, the scent of Coco's perfume lingering faintly in the air. Youfelt a pang of irritation, but Han's presence washed it away. He locked the door behind you.

Turning to face you, Han's eyes were filled with a fierce intensity that made your heart race. He stepped closer, his hand cupping your cheek as his thumb traced the line of your jaw. "Tell me if you want me to stop” he whispered.

You felt the passion in his touch. The anger and jealousy inside them had transformed into something desperate. You nodded.

With a gentle tug, Han turned you to face the mirror. His hands slid down your neck, tracing the collarbone before coming to rest on the zipper of your dress. Slowly, deliberately, he began to pull it down, his eyes never leaving yours in the mirror. Your breath hitched as the fabric fell away, exposing your bare skin to the cool air.

The music from the main stage grew louder and the sound of applause and cheers for Coco, but you couldn’t concentrate on anything else than Han’s eyes. You watched in the mirror as he stepped closer, his chest brushing against your bare back. His hands continued their descent, his fingers grazing the softness of your skin as he pushed the dress down further.

The fabric pooled at your waist, revealing the black lace of your lingerie. He reached to unclasp the bra, his movements sure and practiced. The material fell away. He cupped your gently, his thumbs brushing over the hardened nipples, eliciting a soft moan from you. You could feel the heat of his arousal pressing against your back, the evidence of his desire as undeniable as the passion in his eyes.

There were butterflies in your stomach the whole time. It was all so new, the touching and the desire you felt. You turned around to face him. Your hands found his belt. You wanted him, needed him, more than you had ever wanted anything. The sound of the zipper lowering was like a gunshot in the quiet room, the tension between them palpable. Han's hand covered yours, stilling your movements. He leaned in, his breath hot against your neck as he whispered, "Let me." You nodded as he unbuckled the belt and let his jeans fall on the floor.

Han's hands moved with purpose, the fabric of your dress sliding down your body until it was at yourr feet. You stepped out of it, legs trembling slightly. He took a step back, his eyes roving over you, taking in the sight of your nakedness. You felt exposed, vulnerable and wanted to cover yourself. But Han was quick and reached out to your hands, “Don’t, you look beautiful” he assured. Your cheeks flushed with warmth at his words, and you let your hands fall down to your sides.

Without another word, he unbuttoned his shirt, revealing the taut muscles of his chest. Han's hand found the curve of your waist, pulling you closer and placing his lips on yours. His kiss sent a thrill through every nerve ending of yours. You moaned into his mouth; the sound muffled by his eager lips.

As you kissed, Han's hand trailed down to the juncture of your thighs, his fingers finding the dampness that had been building. He teased you through the lace of your panties, the fabric already soaked with desire. Your legs trembled, and you had to lean against the makeup table to stay upright. The anticipation was unbearable, a delicious torment that made you ache for more.

With a low growl, Han hoisted you onto the table, your legs wrapping around his waist. The coolness of the countertop sent a jolt of pleasure through you. His hand found its way under the lace, his thumb circling your clit with a gentle but insistent pressure. You moaned, your head falling back as sensation overwhelmed you.

Han's other hand snaked up to cup your breast, his thumb flicking the sensitive peak as he continued to kiss you deeply. Your hips rocked against him, seeking more, needing more. He chuckled, against your skin as he bit gently at your neck. "So eager," he murmured, his voice thick with desire.

He slid your panties aside, his finger slipping inside, stroking them with a slow, purposeful rhythm that had your eyes rolling back in your head. “Han” you moaned his name, the sound a desperate plea that he was all too happy to answer. His movements grew more urgent.

Your kisses grew sloppy with desire. Your nails dug into his back, urging him closer, deeper. You could feel the tension coiling in your stomach, the delicious pressure building with every stroke. You had never felt this good.

Your moans grew louder, more desperate, your body begging for release. You didn’t care if anyone heard you. With a final, desperate cry, you shattered, your climax crashing over you like a wave. Han's name was a litany on your lips as you rode the waves of pleasure, your body trembling uncontrollably. He held you through it, his fingers never stopping their sweet torment until your breathing evened out and your eyes focused on his once more.

Satisfaction and love shone in Han's gaze as he kissed you gently, his hand still buried between their legs, feeling the aftershocks of your orgasm. "That's just the appetizer," he murmured. “Unless you want me to stop”

You shook your head frantically and Han smirked. He stepped back, allowing you to catch your breath, and pulled you down from the table and stood on your shaky legs. The air was thick with anticipation as Han stood, his arousal pressing against his boxers. Your breath came in shallow gasps as you watched him reveal himself.

He stepped out of his own clothing, leaving you both bare in the soft glow of the room. Your eyes roamed over Han's body, admiring the way the light played over his muscles.

You reached out, fingertips brushing against his erection, and he hissed in a breath. The contact was like a spark, igniting the flames of passion once again. Han's hand shot out, grasping your wrist, and he leaned in, his teeth grazing the sensitive skin of their neck. "Not yet," he whispered, his voice a dark rumble.

Guiding you to the velvet couch in the corner, Han pushed you down gently, his eyes never leaving yours. He laid down between your legs, his erection pressing on your thigh.

Han leaned down, capturing your mouth in a fiery kiss that left you toes curling. His hands roamed over your body, leaving a trail of fire. He took his time, savoring every inch of your skin as if it were

the sweetest dessert. His thumb found your clit again, his touch feather-light, teasing you back to the brink of madness.

Your hips bucked, desperate for more, and Han chuckled, the sound sending vibrations through your body. "Patience," he murmured, his eyes dark with lust.

Anticipation was exquisite. You reached down, your hand shaking slightly as you wrapped it around his cock, feeling the pulse of his desire against your palm.

Han groaned, his eyes falling closed for a brief moment before snapping open again. The fire in his gaze was intense. You stroked him slowly, savoring the feeling of his skin against yours. His hips rolled into your touch, his breathing growing harsher with every stroke.

With a growl, Han took control, pushing your hand away and positioning himself at your entrance. He paused, locking his eyes with yours. You nodded, the silent consent all he needed.

He slid into you with a slow, deliberate movement that had your eyes rolling back in your head. The stretch was heavenly, filling you completely, erasing any doubt or jealousy that had been there before. You wrapped your legs around his waist, pulling him deeper, needing to feel every inch of him. Han's eyes never left yours as he began to move, his hips rolling in a steady rhythm.

Your hands roamed over his chest, nails scraping lightly over his skin as you moaned his name.

The sound of your lovemaking filled the room. Han's movements grew more urgent, his strokes deeper. You could feel the beginnings of another climax building, your body tightening around him.

Your breath grew ragged, your body moving in time with Han's, your hips rising to meet his every thrust. The feeling was indescribable, a whirlwind of pleasure. You felt your orgasm building, a tight coil of sensation in your core that grew tighter with every stroke.

Han's hands found yours, fingers lacing together. You could feel your walls tightening around him, the pressure building until it was almost unbearable. You bit your lip, trying to hold back the scream that threatened to escape as Han's thumb found your clit once more, applying just the right amount of pressure. With a final, powerful thrust, your orgasm hit you ike a tidal wave, crashing over you and leaving you gasping for air. Han groaned, his own climax following closely behind, his body shuddering with the force of it. You clung to each other, lost in the moment, as the waves of pleasure ebbed and flowed between you.

As you came down from your high, Han collapsed onto you, his weight a comforting warmth. You laid there, your breath mingling, hearts beating in sync. The room was quiet, only the club’s music could be heard behind the door.

Your mind was racing with the realization of what just happened. You stroked Han's hair, feeling the dampness of his sweat, the softness of his skin.

"Are you still jealous?" Han's voice was a gentle rumble, his question a soft caress against your ear.

You shook your head, smiling softly. "never heard of her," you murmured.

[justallmyfantasies]

usage of his backseat

everyone else seems to be hooking up so why can’t you?

series masterlist

contains: 18+ smut! (fingering, unprotected piv, teasing. i think that’s all idk.)

word count: 3.1k

MINORS DONT INTERACT!

music was beaming, was too loud for you. the air felt sweaty and gross. you had a drink in hand, sipping it slowly. you weren’t too fond of parties, but your friend convinced you to come.

you were sat at a table with a bunch of people you didn’t really know. you overheard some conversation of them being in a band but that didn’t really phase you. you were sat next a bald man. he had introduced himself to you as alex. but that was the only conversation you had with him.

you waited for your friend to finish making out with some man she met. honestly, you didn’t want to be there at all. you weren’t the partying kind of person.

you got up from alex’s side and decided to wander around the house. it was quite crowded and you saw many people kissing and doing who knows what, but you didn't care. you just didn't want to waste time at the party. suddenly, some guy you had never met before bumped into you, making you spill the drink you had in your hand.

the drink splattered over your shirt, and you could feel the wetness on your skin. you looked up at the man, ready to confront him. you muttered something to yourself instead, walking back to the table in annoyance.

as you walked back to the table, you could feel the irritation building up inside you. the sound of the loud music and chatter around you seemed amplified, making your already agitated state even worse. you tried to maintain your composure, but deep down, you cursed your friend for dragging you to this party.

as you approached the table, alex stared at you in confusion. “what’s happened to you?” he asked, fighting back a laugh.

you muttered under your breath, clearly annoyed. "i got bumped into by some twat who made me spill my drink all over my shirt." you grabbed a napkin, trying to wipe away the wetness, though it wasn't doing much help.

"looks like you should ditch the shirt," alex joked. he was obviously trying to lighten the mood but it wasn't working.

you rolled your eyes. "it's not like i can walk around shirtless, genius."

alex chuckled. "i'm sure you wouldn't hear any complaints." he wiggled his eyebrows, teasing you.

you felt a mix of embarrassment and amusement. "you're insufferable, you know that?" you said, unable to help but smile at his ridiculous antics.

the smile didn't go unnoticed by alex, who looked delighted that he had managed to put a grin on your face. "i'll take that as a compliment, love." he replied with a wink. you shook your head, still grinning despite yourself.

alex leaned in closer, his tone more serious now. "in all seriousness, though, you're right. you can't walk around like that. come with me, i'll give you a clean shirt." he stood up and gestured for you to follow. “i might have a spare shirt or summat in my car.”

you felt a mix of gratitude and curiosity. you followed alex, unsure of what to expect but curious nonetheless.

the night air was cool as you followed alex outside to his car. he rummaged through the backseat, eventually pulling out a slightly crumpled black t-shirt. he handed it to you, a playful grin on his face.

"thanks," you said, taking the shirt from him. the t-shirt felt oddly soft against your skin as you put it on, the fabric caressing your body in a way that was both comfortable and pleasant. despite your initial irritation earlier, you couldn't help but feel grateful for alex's help.

as you adjusted the shirt, you couldn't help but notice alex's gaze fixed on you. you looked back at him with a raised eyebrow. "what, is my outfit not up to your standards?" you asked, jokingly.

alex chuckled, stepping closer to you. "on the contrary," he said, his tone slightly lower. "you look quite appealing right now, i must say."

you felt a blush creeping up your neck, but you quickly brushed it off with a laugh. "flattery won't get you anywhere, baldy." you retorted playfully, trying to lighten the mood.

alex grinned, unfazed. "i'm not trying to get anywhere, love. just stating the truth." he took another step closer, his eyes never leaving yours.

there was an undeniable attraction between you two, but you resisted, not wanting to admit it to yourself. "you're full of yourself, you know that?" you replied, attempting to sound unaffected, but underneath, you couldn't deny that his proximity was affecting you.

"you don't seem to mind that much," alex teased, his voice tinged with amusement. he reached out and gently brushed a stray strand of hair from your face before grabbing a cigarette from the pack in his pocket.

you couldn't deny that his touch sent a pleasant shiver down your spine. you tried to compose yourself, not wanting to reveal your inner turmoil. "flirt with everyone like this, do you?"

alex smirked, lighting the cigarette before taking a slow drag and exhaling a cloud of smoke. it was as if he took pleasure in watching you squirm beneath his gaze.

"not everyone," he replied cryptically, his eyes never leaving you. the smoke from his cigarette swirled around the two of you, the smell a mix of desire and allure. you found yourself unable to break eye contact, as if mesmerized by the energy radiating from him.

you felt your heart beat a little faster as alex's cigarette smoke swirled around you. the scent of tobacco mixed with whatever cologne he wore enveloped your senses, creating an intoxicating blend that only seemed to heighten the tension between you two.

without thinking, you stepped closer to him, drawn by an irresistible force. you met his gaze with a mixture of defiance and desire.

alex's lips curved into a pleased smile, as if he had been waiting for you to make the first move. with a slow and deliberate motion, he leaned in, his lips hovering mere millimeters from yours. the cigarette smoke mingled with your breath, creating a lingering taste of temptation. he finished his cigarette, dropping it on the floor and stomping on it. then he looked back up at you.

and there, in that moment, the space between your faces seemed to shrink to an almost unbearable intensity. it was as if the world around you faded away, and all that remained was this delicate dance of desire and anticipation.

with the slightest of movements, alex closed the gap, his lips lightly brushing against yours in a tantalizing kiss. the taste and feel of his breath mingling with yours sent a wave of electricity coursing through you, making you crave for more.

you responded to the kiss, unable to resist the magnetic pull of the moment. you allowed yourself to be swept away by the sensations, losing yourself in the passionate embrace.

as the kiss deepened, you felt alex's hand gently glide down your back, pulling you closer to him. the touch was both tender and possessive, and you willingly surrendered to the desire that was building within you. the sound of your beating hearts blended with the muffled music in the background, creating a symphony of shared longing.

the kiss continued, growing more passionate with each passing second. alex's tongue danced with yours, exploring and teasing in a way that made your head spin. you wrapped your arms around his neck, wanting to feel every inch of him against you. the world around you didn't matter anymore—all that mattered was the heat between your bodies and the intoxicating taste of alex's lips.

alex guided you towards the open car door. his lips traced a path from your mouth to your neck, leaving a trail of longing and anticipation with each touch. the cool night air mingled with the heat of your desire, creating a perfect balance of sensations.

with tender firmness, alex eased you down onto the back seat of his car, the leather seat softly molding to your body. he moved atop you, his face only inches away from yours, a mix of longing and mischief in his eyes.

as alex continued to kiss you, his hands began to explore your body with a newfound intensity. they roamed from your neck to your shoulders, then further down, tracing a path along your curves. it was as if his touch ignited a fire within you, and you responded eagerly, wrapping your arms around him and pulling him closer still.

the passion intensified, and you both knew that there was no turning back now. the boundaries between you had vanished, replaced by a primal hunger that consumed everything else around you.

alex's hands began to explore beneath your shirt, tracing patterns that sent shivers down your spine. he took his time discovering every inch of your exposed skin as if committing each curve and contour to memory. the sensation of his touch against your skin was both electrifying and comforting, a mix of sensations that made you crave for more of his attention.

you gasped as alex's hand moved to unhook your bra, the anticipation building within you. he looked into your eyes, his gaze heavy with desire, seeking permission for what was to come next. you couldn't find the words to respond, but your body answered for you as you pressed your lips against his in a frantic kiss, urging him to continue.

alex obliged, his hands becoming more confident as he removed your shirt and bra, leaving you exposed to his gaze. his eyes flickered over your naked torso, and you could feel his reverence and desire in every moment he took to appreciate your body.

alex's lips once again returned to your neck, planting a trail of kisses that made you arch into him. he whispered words of praise and adoration, his voice a mix of reverence and longing. "you are beautiful," he murmured as his lips moved lower, tracing a path down your chest and over your breasts.

you let out a soft moan, unable to hold back the rush of emotions coursing through you. alex's touch was both tender and urgent, a combination that left you both craving and satisfied at the same time. as you arched into him, each kiss intensified the building tension between you.

alex's lips left a trail of kisses down your stomach, slowly moving lower. the anticipation of what was to come had you reeling with desire. his hands moved down, unfastening your pants with practiced ease. as they inched lower, the air around you seemed to crackle with electricity.

you lifted your hips, allowing alex to slide your pants off, leaving you in nothing but your underwear. he paused for a moment, his eyes raking over your exposed body, taking in every inch. you could sense the hunger and need in his gaze, fueling his actions.

alex's fingertips traced the edge of your underwear, teasingly trailing around the elastic band, before finally slipping under it. “oh my.” you whimpered.

his touch was like a tantalizing dance, igniting a fire within you that only intensified as he moved further downwards.

the sensation of his exploring fingers was both pleasurable and excruciatingly slow. you could feel alex's breath against your heated skin, and you longed for more. you arched towards him, trying to quicken his rhythm, wanting nothing more than for him to relieve the ache that was growing inside you.

alex's fingers continued their path downward, finally reaching the one place that craved his attention the most. he circled the sensitive spot with careful and deliberate precision, sending a wave of pleasure through your body and causing your breath to hitch.

you felt yourself getting closer to the edge, unable to contain the pleasure that was building within you. as alex's fingers continued to expertly explore your most intimate area, you couldn't help but let out a series of small, urgent moans, pleading for more.

his movements were relentless, each touch sending shocks of pleasure coursing through your body. your hands grasped at his shoulders, trying to anchor yourself as the sensations overwhelmed you. you could feel yourself getting closer and closer to the point of no return.

finally, as alex's touch sent you over the edge, you cried out his name, your orgasm shaking you to your core. you clung to him, riding the waves of pleasure that washed over you. slowly, you came back down to earth, your breathing steadying and your body relaxing into the afterglow.

alex stayed close to you, holding you in his arms and pressing gentle kisses along your neck as you trembled. he ran his fingers through your hair, soothing you and offering comfort in the aftermath of the intense moment you had shared.

as your breathing returned to normal, you looked at alex and noticed his own longing desire hadn't been fulfilled. you could feel his need radiating off of him, a powerful undertone to the gentle comfort he was providing.

you reached out to him, your touch a silent plea for more. you wanted to give him the same pleasure he had given you, to return the favor and share in the intimacy that had taken hold between you. he looked at you, his eyes meeting yours with mutual understanding and longing.

you leaned in, meeting his lips in a tender kiss, and began to explore his body with your hands, mimicking the touches he had given you earlier. you could feel his desire for you, and it only intensified your own hunger. you moved your hand lower, teasing the waistband of his pants.

alex moaned softly, his breath hitching at your touch. he eagerly helped you remove his clothes, exposing his bare torso to your gaze. your fingers traced the contours of his chest, exploring every dip and curve with an unhurried curiosity.

his body was like a playground for your senses, and you couldn't get enough. you ran your fingers down his chest, savoring the way his muscles tensed in anticipation. your touch journeyed lower, reaching the edge of his boxers, and you teased the elastic band with your fingertips.

“tease.”

you chuckled, continuing your action. alex inhaled sharply, his breath coming in short bursts as your fingers continued to toy with the waistband of his boxers. his desire for you was evident in the way his hips arched up to your touch, silently urging you to go further, to bring him the same pleasure he had given you.

your fingers toyed with the band, lingering just long enough to stoke the flames of anticipation within you both. you could feel his body thrumming with excitement, a mirror to your own eager responses. finally, with a gentle tug, you slid his boxers off, exposing his arousal to your gaze.

alex let out a soft gasp at the sudden exposure, his eyes never leaving your face. he looked at you with a mixture of anticipation and desire, his need for you clear in every line of his face. his hands reached out, gently grasping your hips, urging you closer.

you moved closer, positioning yourself on him, sinking down on his length. in that moment, the world around you seemed to fade away, leaving only the two of you and the fire that burned between you. you captured his lips in a burning kiss, pouring your passion and desire into the embrace, as your bodies moved and grinded together in a dance of want.

the connection between you was electric, an explosive mix of lust and desire. the heat between your bodies was a tangible thing, and it was intoxicating. you could feel his every movement, his hands exploring your body, as if mapping out a territory he wanted to claim.

the night air carried soft sighs and moans of pleasure as you worked in perfect tandem. time held no meaning in this intimate haven you had created, only the ebb and flow of sensations and passion mattered. each movement, each touch, amplified the growing anticipation, drawing you closer to the pinnacle of pleasure.

alex pulled you closer, increasing the tempo of your movements, his lips finding the sensitive spot on your neck. he murmured words of praise and encouragement, his voice a low growl of pleasure that echoed through you, magnifying your desires. you responded to his words with a symphony of breathy moans, your body moving of its own accord, seeking the elusive release that danced just out of reach.

you could feel the pressure building, a tidal wave of pleasure threatening to crash over you. it was an exquisite tension, the delicious balance between sweet surrender and desperate yearning. alex's body moved beneath yours, his hips meeting each of your movements with a precision that mirrored the hunger in his eyes.

your release came with a crescendo of sensations, a wave of pleasure that washed over you and left you trembling in its wake. alex's name on your lips was a sweet sound, a testament to the profound connection you shared. he soon followed, a low groan escaping his lips as he reached his climax, his body tensing beneath you.

you collapsed onto him, your bodies melding together in a tangle of limbs and shared intimacy. you lay there, catching your breath, the echoes of your pleasure still thrumming through you. the world outside the car windows seemed distant, as if the party and its noise could never penetrate the sanctuary you had found in each other's arms.

as you came down from the high you had achieved together, you and alex lay entwined, the silence between you both filled with contentment and comfort. you shifted slightly, your head resting on his chest, feeling the steady rhythm of his heart against your cheek. the sound of the party outside faded away, replaced by the tranquil cadence of shared respiration.

alex wrapped his arms around you, pulling you closer in a tender embrace. he placed a gentle kiss on the top of your head, his fingers lightly drawing circles on your back. it was a moment of quiet bliss, a space for two souls to bask in the afterglow.

“i’d like to see you again.” he spoke, the words falling soft from his mouth.

you smiled, lifting your head to look at him. the dim lighting of the car created a soft ambience, making the moment feel all the more intimate.

"i'd like that too." you replied, your voice carrying the certainty of your feelings.

alex's smile widened, and he traced a gentle finger along your jawline, a gesture both tender and possessive. "consider it a date then." he murmured, his husky voice laced with an undertone of desire.

you nodded, your heart fluttering with anticipation. "it's a date," you affirmed, sealing the promise with a soft, lingering kiss.

a/n: as i got to proofreading i actually realised how much i don’t like this but i wanted to post bald al and i’ve been writing then restarting this all day so just have this thanks bye 🙋🏻‍♀️

[fly-sky-high-09]

Yet another 4am staring at the phone

[tswwwit]

I hope this doesn't come across the wrong way but i recently reread the entire familiar au (its as amazing as always!) and its so impressive to see how far you have come as a writer especially compared to the new cult au its honestly pretty inspiring

Thank you! It's truly nice to hear that I've made progress. I mean, obviously - hopefully - I would have after all this time, but sometimes the improvement is hard to see when you're so close to it.

[tanicus-caesareth]

guarana drama, damage control

[selvepnea]

Been thinking about my body a lot

[sovonight]

,