#i'm glad i got her on my second to last pull i was getting nervous lmaoo

[renah]

SHE'S HOMEE

bonus: double yamu

[ssahotchnerr]

fluffy aaron request !! reader is on a date that is going so bad when she gets called in for a case so she shows up in her like fancy date outfit and confides in hotch about her horrible date then he offers to make it up to her and takes her out when they get back <3 maybe there’s some room for slight jealous!aaron in there somewhere tehe

it's a date

there's always room for jealous!aaron 🤭 cw; fem bau!reader, mutual pining, a touch of nervous and jealous!aaron, brief standard cm case info, fluff <3

You were the last one to arrive at the BAU, departing from the far side of town and evening traffic to blame.

Consequently, you pulled stares the second you arrived within the roundtable room. Your presence was anticipated, for one, the sound of your heels clacking against the hard floor, and:

A low whistle exited Morgan.

"Look at you." He tossed out, a tickled grin spread wide across his face.

Your current attire was a dress; a fancier, slightly more risqué choice compared to your typical office wardrobe. It was a light beige, your hair was down your back in loose curls, makeup more enhanced than your usual routine. Aaron had to (internally) admit, you looked stunning.

"Hot date?"

"You could say that."

Aaron felt his jaw move. Clench, actually.

"Sorry for cutting your night short." He apologized, forcing his sentence out deep from inside his chest. He turned towards the screen, concealing himself.

"On the contrary," You eased yourself into your chair, eagerly accepting a file from Emily. "Thank you for cutting my night short."

"With this one, you may want to rethink that sunshine." Penelope clicked her remote, illuminating the screen with the latest case photos. "Ain't no rest for the wicked."

The team collectively ran through it quickly; a brutal family annihilator, decreasing cooling off period, the gravity of the situation heightening and a panicked town. Wheels up in 30 to Oklahoma.

As the others trailed out, Penelope hurrying to her bat cave, Aaron slowed his pace. He prolonged securing his files into his briefcase, zipping it shut, leaving only the two of you in the room.

Coincidentally, you weren't in too much of a rush either.

"That bad?"

You huffed in response as your eyes found his. He was met with a hardened, utter annoyance, instead of your familiar warm liveliness.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"There's not much to talk about." The bottom of your files hit the surface of the table, loudly, stacking the few evenly together. "The guy sucked. Interrupted me every second he could. I don't think the restaurant he picked was up to code either. Thank goodness I got the call before our food arrived." You shuddered lightly, in theatrics but also genuineness. "I'm greatly looking forward to pretending it never happened."

There was a carefree airiness within your voice - attempting to wave it off, the simple acceptance of one night gone bad - but small dismay was amongst your words.

"I'm sorry." While Aaron meant his apology wholeheartedly, he couldn't help but feel relieved, for his own selfish reasons. "But I am glad you narrowly escaped the potential food poisoning."

That pulled a laugh from you, agreeing. "But it's fine, really. I didn't want to go anyways, don't know why I did." You shrugged as you disrupted the continual, shared eye contact. While the tail end of your sentence was spoken lowly, it wasn't long lasting, picking up some enthusiasm. "How was your night going?"

"Jack and I were just settling down to watch a movie."

"Which one?"

"Shrek."

Your head tilted exasperatedly, face pulling into jealousy. "Really? How fun." You whined gently, wishing your night could have been spent with the two of them. Your preferred choice of company.

"Well, he wasn't too happy it was cut short." Aaron admitted, a loose, downhearted chuckle escaping.

"You'll make it up to him. Perhaps a multiple movie feature when we're back? Shrek, Shrek 2, Shrek the Third... maybe order some pizza too." You suggested, reaching out to touch his arm reassuringly with a gentle smile. "No matter, he'll be thrilled."

Sourcing from your touch, lightning bolts dashed within his arm, feverishly. Aaron soon found himself simply studying your face, falling on the silent side. You were just, you. Extraordinarily kind, beautiful you.

"C'mon, Dave told me if I was late to the tarmac once more, he'd tell the pilot to leave and I'd have to take a commercial." You joked. Although, a small part of you feared he'd stick to his promise.

"Yeah, like I'd let that happen." He rolled his eyes, amusedly shaking his head.

The bullpen was quiet; most had gone home, the overheard lights had dimmed, the team long out of earshot. As the two of you neared the glass doors - Aaron leading - there was an urgency heightening in his chest, mere seconds away from bursting. As if each step forward, he was losing precious time. Any hesitations on the temptations he had felt for months dissolved. Now or never.

"What about you?" He asked, sweetly but timidly, finding a sudden interest in the floor.

"What about me?"

"Who's going to make it up to you?"

"Well," That caught you in a bit of surprise, your feet halting. Aaron turned, his eyes lifting. "That's a million dollar question right there. I don't see anyone lining up to take me on some extravagant outing, do you?" You forced out a laugh, your cheeks fairly blushing.

"Maybe," Aaron replied, his voice wavering with a touch of nervousness. It was rather endearing, seeing him so adorably flustered. "Perhaps the person you're looking for is right in front of you. Figuratively, at that."

A rather charmed expression formed on your face. Eyes brightening, lips pursing upwards, "Are you asking me out?"

"I'm trying." He confessed, his boyish expression just as light as yours. "So, tell me. How am I doing?"

"How about this," You spoke slowly, attempting to suppress the butterflies in your own stomach, hoping to maintain some composure within your answer. "Your next available night after your movie marathon with Jack, I'm completely and all yours."

All yours. He could get used to that.

"It's a date."

[barcaatthemoon]

bent || alexia putellas x reader ||

alexia finds you at one of your lowest points.

"(y/n), hold on, i'm coming!" alexia's voice carried throughout your apartment. she had burst through the door in a panic, nearly breaking it off of its hinges as she raced through. she was normally so reserved and careful. you froze from where you stood in your bathroom, previously having been staring at yourself trying to muster the energy to finish getting ready.

it hadn't always been so difficult for you. sure, you had your days where the weight of the world was too much for you to bear, but it had been a long time. things hadn't been bad for you since you came back. barcelona was your home again, and alexia was finally yours in all of the ways that you had once dreamed of.

everything was perfect, and yet, you still had a slip up. you woke up with years of progress undone in a single night. it hadn't been anybody's fault except for your own. alexia had offered to stay with you, as had others, and yet, you declined. you felt like you deserved to be alone, and you woke up in the morning to empty bottles scattered around your living room.

"ale, what are you doing here?" you tilted your head as you looked at your girlfriend curiously. alexia was panting as she leaned against the doorframe. you turned your body around to actually face her instead of staring at her reflection. "d-did you see them? i'm really sorry, i thought i was better. it had been years, all flushed down the drain."

"it's not your fault, mi carina. you had a bad night, it's a setback. i'm just glad that i got here before something bad happened," alexia said. she slowly moved towards you, and it wasn't until her hands clasped around yours and pulled something from your grasp that you realized you had been holding a razor. "i'll take care of you until you learn to take care of yourself."

"i don't deserve that. i'm broken, defective, a fucking mistake. i'll just do it again, and you can't answer every time i'm in hysterics," you tried to tell her. alexia wasn't having any of it, not that you were surprised. she loved you and was stubborn enough to stay with you until you started getting better.

"i will always answer when you call. it might always be immediately, but know that i'll be there for talk to you. sometimes you just have to be patient with me. please, remember to be patient." alexia looked like she wanted to cry, and you felt awful about upsetting her. you knew that wasn't what you were supposed to focus on, but it was all that you could. "you're not broken, and if you are, then i'll sit with you and help you put the pieces back together."

"what did i do to deserve you?"

"you gave me a second chance," alexia told you.

…

"you know, this place is really not big enough for the both of us." you were nervous about where alexia could go with this. you were happy with her around, and the last thing you wanted was for alexia to have realized that you were really too much for her to handle. all of her reassurance that she loved over the past week could have been for show as she waited for the right moment to drop a bomb on you. "i think we should stay at my place for a bit."

"you're leaving?" you asked with an absolutely heartbroken expression. alexia didn't live with you, so you should have seen this coming. silently, you berated yourself for being so stupid.

"only if you're coming with me. i just thought we could stay at my house for a little while. it's closer to the beach, and the tourists are finally starting to leave. oh, and no offense, but my bed is a lot more comfortable than yours. my back kind of hurts, but i didn't want to sound like i was complaining," alexia rambled.

"alexia, you're old," you laughed. alexia scoffed as she turned away from you with her arms crossed over her chest. "it's okay though, your sheets are nicer than mine. i'm honestly surprised you haven't tried replacing my bedding again yet."

"the package hasn't arrived yet. there was a delay in shipping," alexia admitted. you rolled your eyes as you got up from the couch to pack a bag to go to alexia's. "does this mean we're leaving?"

"i heard you stretch this morning. another night here, and you'd need a walker," you teased. alexia huffed and grumbled as you continued making jokes. she could pretend all she wanted that you were annoying her, but you knew how happy she was that you were joking around with her again instead of beating yourself up over the smallest of mistakes. it was a far cry from the woman who had deemed herself as a complete waste of space that alexia had seen just a few weeks ago.

[nats--sw]

Gold chain (pt4) | Leah Williamson

You and Leah finally met up again, nerves and laughter mixing as you both tried to hide how excited you were. warnings: just fluff and slow burn pt1 pt5 my masterlist

Leah had been glued to her phone all morning and part of the afternoon. She’d gotten used to it over the past few days, anxiously waiting for a message or call from you. The last interaction had been the previous night, when Leah tried calling you a couple of times after hearing about your elimination at Berlin. She hadn't been successful; you had rejected all the calls. Even though you were a bit calmer by then,  you didn't want to feel or hear Leah's sympathy. Not yet.

At least you left her a goodnight message, saying you were trying to process the tough day you'd had. But that wasn’t enough for Leah. She needed more than a brief text; she wanted to hear your voice, to know you were really okay. The waiting and worrying were driving her crazy, and she kept checking her phone, hoping for a sign that you were ready to talk.

At least the photo shoot that morning had kept Leah busy for a couple of hours, providing a brief distraction from her constant worry. But she knew that once she got home, she'd be checking her phone again, hoping to hear from you.

She had just said goodbye to her staff and was about to get in her car when her phone started buzzing. Without even checking to see if it was you, she quickly got into the car and felt a wave of relief when she saw your name pop up in her notifications. 

Her relief turned to confusion when she opened the message and saw a picture of the front of Emirates Stadium.

"This is the famous home of London's biggest club?"

"I asked a guy and he said I was wrong, that I should go west."

"Isn't this Stamford Bridge?"

Leah bit her lip to keep from smiling. She was getting more and more used to your quirky sense of humor and sarcastic comments.

"You're into comedy now?" Leah quickly typed into her phone, not yet getting what was going on.

"You wish."

Before Leah could respond, another photo popped up, immediately followed by a message.

"Do you think if I ask for it they'll give it to me?" The picture showed a huge banner with Leah's face on it.

"I'm a big fan."

That's when it hit her. Were you really in London? Already? You were just playing in a tournament in Germany yesterday.

Leah looked out the window of her car, seeing the same sky that was starting to darken, just like in the photo you had sent.

"What the hell? You're here?"

Leah couldn't hold back her excitement. Without waiting for your reply, she dialed your number. Without waiting for your reply, she called you. As the phone rang, she started her car and plugged in her phone.

"Hello?" Leah could hear the smile in your voice.

"I can't believe it," Leah said, nervously running a hand through her hair.

"What? That I'm your fan?"

"I already knew that," Leah replied, pulling out of the parking lot. "Stay where you are, I'm like twenty minutes away."

"Make it fifteen."

Leah became a bundle of nerves as soon as she got out of her car. This was only the second time you’d be seeing each other in person, and the first time alone. She walked around for a while, until she finally spotted you taking pictures. Feeling awkward and unsure of how to approach, she was glad your back was turned. 

Leah opened her mouth to say your name, but nothing came out

This time was different from the first. You knew each other now, had chatted about all sorts of things, and shared some nice moments over video calls. You weren’t strangers anymore.

Meanwhile, you were completely unaware of Leah behind you, busy taking pictures. Satisfied with your shots, you stepped back and bumped into someone. You turned quickly, ready to apologize (or snap if it was some weirdo). But like Leah, you were left speechless.

Neither of you said anything at first, the tension thick in the air. Leah’s nervous smile matched yours, and you couldn’t help but let out a nervous laugh.

Leah thought your laughter was even more contagious in person than over the phone, and she immediately started laughing too.

"What are you doing standing there like a stalker?" you asked once you both calmed down a bit.

"Actually, by standing here I'm protecting you from any stalkers."

"Woah, how gentlemanly of you," you said with a grin.

"Yeah, I know," Leah replied, flashing a smile. She held your gaze, looking down at you since you were only slightly shorter than her.

"Don't look at me like that," you said, laughing nervously again and giving her a gentle nudge on the shoulder.

"I’m making you nervous?" Leah asked, genuinely curious. She had seen you go through other emotions before, but had never seen you nervous. The two of you had shared so many video calls, but this was different.

"Yes," you admitted, shoving your hands into your pockets. You glanced around and wrinkled your nose. "This is your place... it's a little intimidating, realizing how big you are here and what your image represents. I hadn't really taken it all in until now."

Leah tilted her head slightly, trying to understand. "What do you mean?"

"You," you said, looking back at her. "You're not just Leah to everyone here. You're a big deal. Talking to you has been... Well, like I’m just talking to Leah. But now that I'm here, seeing everything with your face in it, it's like, 'Whoa, this is who I've been staying up all week chatting with.'"

Leah felt a warmth in her chest at your words. She never thought of herself that way.

"I don't think it's anything to make a big deal about," Leah replied, feeling the heat rise in her cheeks.

"Of course not, Captain Williamson," you retorted, rolling your eyes. Leah's body trembled slightly at your playful jab.

"Well, you're a big deal to me too, you know. And right now, I’m just Leah." Leah continued.  "I've seen your face on giant billboards too, you know."

You were about to respond, but Leah turned to you with a raised eyebrow. 

"Where are you staying?"

"Ah," you chuckled, noticing the not-so-subtle change in topic. "I have a room booked at one of the downtown hotels."

"Are you with your team?"

"No, we're taking a few days off," you said, avoiding mention of yesterday's dressing room incident, which had caused the current situation. Nor did you want to bring up your recent appointment with your therapist a couple of hours ago.

"So I assume you messaged me because you got lost and don't know how to get back to your hotel?" Leah asked, heading back towards where she had parked her car.

"Actually, yes," you lied. You knew your way around London, but Leah didn't need to know that. "I just didn't feel like going straight back to the hotel, so I've been wandering around all afternoon."

"And you still don't want to go back?"

"I just don't want to be alone."

"Can I suggest something?"

You smiled at Leah's offer.

The drive to Leah's house was quiet, mostly because halfway there you had drifted off to sleep. It had been a long day, or rather, two long days: the morning flight, the session with your psychologist, the extensive walk around town, and everything that had transpired the day before. It was a lot to handle in such a short span of time.

Leah's car smelled like her, a comforting scent that started to ease your stress. She knew when to stay silent, creating a soothing vibe that made relaxation inevitable.

As you slept, however, Leah couldn't shake a bit of guilt. Maybe you just needed to rest, and here she was, possibly dragging you along to plans that might not even interest you.

When you woke up after she parked outside her house, Leah turned to you with a gentle concern in her eyes.

"Are you awake now?" she asked softly. "I can drop you back at your hotel if you'd rather."  she offered, still buckled into her seatbelt, confident that you'd want to leave.

"What?" you mumbled, sitting up straight and blinking to clear the sleep from your eyes. 

"You look exhausted, Y/n," she said softly, her voice carrying a hint of worry. Her gaze was gentle, trying to read the emotions behind your tired face.

"I'm just exhausted, but I know I won't feel any better alone in that hotel, believe me," you said, trying to reassure her and convince her it wasn't a bad idea.

Leah's concern deepened as she took in your tired demeanor. After a few moments of contemplation, she took a deep breath as she unbuckled her seatbelt. 

"Well, let's go then," she said softly, her voice carrying a touch of warmth.

Leah's home wrapped around you with a scent even more intense than the scent of her car. The place had a cozy charm.

"I wasn't expecting a guest, so if you find anything strange, just ignore it, please," Leah chuckled nervously as she led the way inside.

"It's lovely," you grinned, following her inside. It was fascinating to explore the place you had only seen through a screen before.

"Thank you," Leah said, heading towards her kitchen. "Are you hungry?"

If someone had told you a few weeks ago that you'd be at Leah Williamson's house, sitting down to a hearty meal of potato smiley faces and chicken nuggets, you would have probably raised an eyebrow in disbelief.

"Is this your idea of gourmet food?" you chuckled, eyeing your plate—it looked straight out of a children's menu.

"Absolutely," Leah said with a grin, grabbing two glasses and a bottle of wine. "I did promise to treat you, after all." 

The cozy kitchen and Leah's relaxed demeanor made you feel at ease.

"Well, you basically dragged me along."

"Hey, don't put it like that," said Leah pouting. "I gave you the option of taking you back to your hotel."

"I'm just messing with you, Leah," you said with a laugh, gently taking the bottle of wine from her hands to pour the glasses. "But seriously, this dinner is going to be a memory I'll cherish."

"I feel like you're making fun of me," she said, narrowing her eyes playfully.

"No, I'm serious," you replied warmly. "It's actually kind of sweet. I've never had this before."

"I just had to toss the potatoes on a tray, you know?" she said, chuckling softly, brushing off any praise.

"Come on, just take the compliment, Leah."

Leah chuckled softly and settled into the chair across from you, taking a bite of a potato with a thoughtful expression."So... Can I ask why you're here?"

"You invited me," you replied casually, flashing a grin.

"I'm not talking about that..."

"Ah," you replied casually, popping a nugget into your mouth. "I just had a bit of a breakdown... they're making me take these days off now, which I'm actually enjoying a lot," you admitted, locking eyes with Leah. "I've been in therapy the whole year, having regular sessions, but it's been weeks since I last talked to my therapist. Well, until today.”

"And? How did your session go?"

“Well… I’m definitely drained, that’s for sure,” you admitted with a sigh, setting down your glass of wine. “We talked a lot about managing stress and pressure, trying to find new ways to cope.”

Leah nodded sympathetically, her gaze steady on you. "It sounds tough."

"Yeah, it is," you admitted, running a hand through your hair. "But I think I'm making progress. It's just taking time, but I'm starting to figure out how to handle all the pressure"

"I'm glad you're taking care of yourself, it's important. You can talk to me too, I also know what it's like to live surrounded by pressure constantly. Maybe it’s not the same but-”

“It is,” you said with a smile, gratefully at her gesture. "Thanks, Leah. It means a lot.”

After finishing, you both moved the talk to the couch, ready to open another bottle of wine.

"You know what?” you said, sinking into the cushions and stretching out your legs comfortably “I'd love to watch you play football sometime."

Leah chuckled, settling beside you and pouring wine into glasses. "Really? You think I'd impress you on the field?"

"You never know," you teased, nudging her playfully. "It would be fun to see another side of you."

"I thought you'd rather watch Chelsea," Leah said with a mischievous grin, her feet up on the couch, almost brushing against yours.

Both of you were clearly enjoying the evening, the warmth of the wine adding to the relaxed atmosphere.

"I can always watch you when you're playing against Chelsea," you replied with a playful smirk.

Leah fell silent for a moment, her gaze drifting away before she asked softly, "And who would you support?"

"Don't you remember I'm your biggest fan?" you replied with a smile, reaching out to gently touch her hand. "Of course, I'd support you. I mean it, I'd love to see you out there on the field, doing what you love”

Leah's cheeks flushed again, a mix of embarrassment and something warmer she couldn't quite name. She hoped you would attribute it to the wine rather than your words.

"My head is starting to hurt," Leah murmured, her words slightly rushed as she tried to distract herself. "Would you mind staying here? But if you want I can call a-"

"Of course not," you reassured her with a grin, trying to lighten the mood. You leaned back, already feeling a bit dizzy from the wine's effects. "Or am I not allowed to stay?" you teased with a playful smile.

You were beginning to enjoy how flustered Leah was getting, it was adorable that she didn't seem to realize her feelings might be mutual. Unless you were completely misreading all her signals, there was a palpable tension between you.

"I'll get the guest room ready for you then," Leah said softly,a slight stumble in her step as she headed towards the room.

The next morning, Leah woke to the sound of your phone ringing from the other room. Rubbing her eyes, still half-asleep, she tiptoed barefoot out of her own bedroom and quietly made her way across the hallway to the guest room. Pushing the door open gently, Leah's heart fluttered as she found you under the covers, peacefully asleep.

Leah glanced at the screen and recognized your coach's name flashing on your phone.

"Y/n," she whispered in a hushed tone, gently shaking your shoulder to wake you. "Your phone," she urged, giving you a firmer shake this time.

The ringing stopped just as your eyes blinked open, adjusting slowly to the morning light.

"Huh?" you said, a little disoriented by the strange room. You turned towards Leah, her face soft and concerned. It took you a few seconds to remember why you were there. "Leah- Good morning" you said quickly, a little embarrassed, straightening up in bed. 

"Your phone," Leah repeated, her voice soft as she tried to get your attention, but you were too distracted. Now fully awake, you couldn't help but notice Leah standing there in just sweatpants and a bra

Leah looked a little puzzled as your mouth hung open and your eyes slowly trailed down from her face to the rest of her body. It was then that she realized she hadn't bothered to put on a shirt before waking you up.

"Good morning," you repeated quickly, pulling your gaze away with a faint blush creeping up your cheeks.

"I wouldn't mind waking up like this more often," you thought to yourself, a slight grin tugging at your lips.

"I'm sorry," Leah apologized, unsure exactly what she was apologizing for. "Your phone was ringing, and you just wouldn't wake up."

"I'm a heavy sleeper," you mumbled, rubbing your face sleepily. The thought of staying in bed longer was tempting.

"Maybe it was important. You should check... while I get breakfast ready," Leah suggested before stepping out of the room.

When you entered the kitchen, you couldn't help but pout slightly upon seeing Leah now wearing a shirt. She stood at the stove, her back turned as she hummed a soft tune. 

You couldn't resist the urge to approach her quietly, your heart fluttering with a mix of anticipation and affection. You tiptoed closer and gently rested your chin on her shoulder.

"What are you cooking?" you whispered softly, surprised by how calmly Leah received your presence.

"An omelet," Leah replied, her attention fully on not burning the omelet. "Do you like them?"

"Yeah, it smells good," you replied.

You fell silent again as Leah flipped the omelet. 

"You smell good," she said casually, her attention still on the pan, showing no sign of embarrassment.

"I haven't showered yet," you blurted out, feeling yourself blush. It was nice to hear such words, even in that context.

"You ruined the moment," Leah teased, a smile playing on her lips as she shook her head and gently nudged you away. "Go sit down." 

Leah carefully slid the omelet onto your plate and set it down beside a steaming cup of coffee. She then placed the same in her plate and took a seat next to you.

"Is it alright that I made you coffee?" she asked, a hint of uncertainty in her voice.

"If you're trying to keep me awake, it's exactly what I need," you murmured, taking a sip from the cup. "Delicious," you said with a satisfied sigh, enjoying the warmth spreading down your throat.

Leah smiled warmly as she picked up her fork and began to eat.

"What time do you have to leave?" she asked casually, glancing at you with curiosity.

"Are you kicking me out already?" you countered with a playful grin spreading across your face. Leah rolled her eyes playfully.

"That was your coach calling, I guess he wants you back already," she clarified with a hint of worry.

"No, I think Lucas is having the time of his life with these days off," you commented, relishing the taste of the omelet. "Damn, this is good. I didn't know you could cook," you exclaimed, taking another enthusiastic bite.

"It's just eggs," Leah shrugged.

"Well, it's the best omelet I've ever had," you praised sincerely.

"You're such a smooth talker," Leah laughed, her laughter filling the room. Her joyful demeanor was starting to win you over more and more.

"It's my talent," you joked, finishing off the last bite of the omelet. "Anyway, Lucas just wanted to check in, make sure everything's cool and that I didn't do anything too risky that could affect me physically with the tournament coming up."

"Sounds reasonable," Leah nodded thoughtfully, cutting half of her omelet and adding it to your plate. She had a feeling you enjoyed it, maybe because omelets weren't something you ate often.

"I'm so happy," you said, savoring every bite. "Remind me to have this every day when I'm away."

“So, what are you up to today?" Leah asked, curious about your plans.

"Uh," you mumbled as you wiped your lips with a napkin. "I actually wanted to learn something new, since I'm now banned from going near a tennis racket,"  you added quietly.

"What do you want to learn?" asked Leah curiously, setting down her coffee cup.

"Teach me how to play football!" you exclaimed with an excited smile, leaning forward eagerly.

"What?" Leah asked, caught off guard and nearly choking on her coffee.

"Yeah! I want to learn. I'm pretty sure I can't even kick a ball properly—oh! oh! Teach me how to head it. I've always wanted to try," you continued enthusiastically.

Leah shook her head, her expression a mix of disbelief and amusement. "But you said your coach didn't want you doing risky things."

"Come on, Leah, it's football.” your eyes sparkling with determination “How dangerous could it be?"

"Ouch! Red! Yellow! Foul! Foul!" you groaned dramatically from the ground, clutching your ankle.

Leah folded her arms, a playful smirk tugging at her lips as she looked down at you. "I barely touched you," she said, kicking the ball back and forth with her foot.

She had effortlessly taken the ball from you, causing you to lose your balance and tumble to the ground.

Leah started out playing gently with you, almost as if she were playing with a child, letting you have your way. However, as she heard your teasing comments about how easy it was, her competitive spirit kicked in.

"Another goal," she declared triumphantly, kicking the ball into the small goal set up in her backyard. "What's the score now, like 10-2?" she asked with a playful smirk, hands on her hips, looking down at you still sprawled on the ground.

You groaned, realizing she wasn't holding back anymore. Her playful demeanor had shifted into full-on competition, and you were loving every minute of it.

"Call an ambulance," you groaned, your voice strained with pain, eyes tightly shut.

Leah's heart skipped a beat as worry flooded her. You seemed genuinely hurt, and she felt a pang of guilt for possibly causing it. She hurried over, her mind racing with concern, and knelt down beside you on the grass.

"Where does it hurt?" Leah asked, her hand gently touching yours. You opened your eyes and looked at her, seeing the worry in her expression.

"It's just... here," you said, then quickly pounced on her, effortlessly knocking her down. "Gotcha, Williamson," you teased with a grin, enjoying Leah's confused expression.

It took Leah a moment to process what had happened. Suddenly, she found herself lying on her back on the grass with you sitting on her abdomen, legs straddling her, in a playful and unexpected turn of events.

"Damn, Y/n, you scared me," Leah said, taking a deep breath to calm herself.

"You'll need a lot more to break me down," you replied proudly, unaware of Leah's hands sneaking closer to your body. Suddenly, tickles sent waves of laughter through you. "Leah! No! Stop!" you managed to protest between laughs, attempting to fend off her tickling hands but finding it hard to resist in your laughter-filled state.

"It's the least you deserve!" Leah exclaimed, her smile mischievous. "You nearly scared me to death!" She took advantage of your moment of weakness to flip you over, switching positions. Now, it was your back against the grass with Leah sitting on top of you. 

Before you could react, Leah swiftly grabbed your wrists and pinned them above your head, securing them to the ground. Her eyes sparkling with a hint of playful affection.

Both of you were breathing heavily,cheeks flushed from all the laughter and movement of the past few minutes. Leah let out a sigh, and you felt a surge of anticipation as her face moved closer to yours. Your heart raced with anticipation, thinking she might kiss you. But instead, you felt Leah's forehead gently rest against yours.

"Don't play with me like that," she whispered softly.

You froze as her breath tickled your lips, her nose brushing against yours, and her perfume surrounding you. The gentle brush of her nose against yours sent a shiver down your spine.

"Leah..." you murmured, feeling her grip on your wrists tighten at the sound of her name.

"Don't ever scare me like that again," she whispered, pulling back slightly from your forehead but not releasing her hold.

Your eyes locked, the air thick with unspoken feelings. 

"I'm sorry," you murmured, a shiver running through you as you felt Leah's gaze fixed on your lips.

"Do you mind if I..." she began softly, her voice barely above a whisper.

It was the moment you had been secretly yearning for. It was the confirmation of the deep feelings stirring within you every time Leah crossed your mind. All you wanted and needed was to feel her lips against yours.

"Leah," you said impatiently, nodding eagerly as your head moved up and down a few inches.

Leah took a deep breath, her eyes fixed on yours, filled with a mixture of hesitation and longing as she leaned in closer. 

You felt her lips brush against yours, the brief contact sending a thrill through you. But just as the kiss was about to deepen, the doorbell rang.

In the blink of an eye, Leah pulled away, releasing your hands and creating an abrupt distance between you. 

"Fuck," you muttered, frustration and desire mixing in your voice, as you were left alone in the backyard with your heart racing.

[cheriladycl01]

Could you do SMAU for Toto Wolff with wife reader where she is a huge bookworm and he always so supportive about her passion And the Internet has gone crazy about it. Thanks :))

Bookstagram - Toto Wolff x BookwormWife! Reader

Plot: Taking a look through your bookstagram and how supportive Toto Wolff is of your love for reading. Encouraging you to pursue your dream of writing.

Credit to multibabydoll for the GIF

You loved reading and books. Before you met Toto, you used to be a bookseller and then worked for a publishing house. You actually met Toto because of the influx in Motorsport Romance's that made your company send you to a race to get some ... hands on experience and you ended up having your own sort of Motorsport Romance with a Team Principle.

You ended up marrying Toto and at first it was hard, but when COVID came and you ended up working from home since then so coming to the races had been much easier.

y/user

Liked by lucyscore laurenroberts and mercedesamgf1

y/user: My reads of the month! Really loved both of these and I can’t wait for book to from Lauren!

Book 1: Things We Hide From The Light by Lucy Score

Book 2: Powerless by Lauren Roberts

Tagged 2 People

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lucyscore: I’m glad you enjoyed this one!

-> y/user: it’s really good!

fan1: i love these!

toto.wolff: Is this the book you were reading on the plane?

-> y/user: Yes, the other one I read at the race track!

laurenroberts: babe! I’m glad you enjoyed! Come to a book signing and I’ll get you a proof of Powerful!

-> y/user: no stop! I’d love that!

DM’s

laurenroberts: Hey Babe, got an event on 29th November, in Florida. You want to come as my special guest?

y/n: id love that! Thank you so much for the invite! I’ll just need to talk to my husband. I’ve never travelled solo and I’m a nervous traveller!

laurenroberts: That’s fine! Just let me know as and when babe!

“Babe, can we talk for a second” you asked your husband as you walk into the kitchen where he is sat with his morning coffee.

"Yes honey what is it?" he asks looking over at you, pushing a glass of orange juice towards you.

"Well, one of the authors that I really like invited me to a book signing.."

"Oh that's amazing sweetheart. Are you going to go?" he says checking his emails not fully paying attention.

"Well, thats the thing. It's over a race weekend... and" you start but his head bolts up to interrupt you.

"You better not be asking for my permission for if you can go, you know you don't have to ask!" he says almost as though he's offended you with think that of him!

"No, no of course not. But I'm scared to go alone, you know how I am!" you explain and he nods remembering the last time you guys flew.

"Well, how about I buy you a nice first class ticket and make the experience worth it. I'll pay for a fancy hotel and a spa evening for when you land ... how does that sound" he grins pulling you into him kissing your forehead.

"You don't have to do that for me!" you exclaim feeling bad!

"Ah no honey, I do this all for you!" he smiles pulling you in for a full kiss.

y/user

Liked by stephaniegarber and ashleyposton

y/n: What do you guys prefer, Romance or Fantasy. I love finding quiet corners at the race track!

Tagged 8 People

View all 212 comments

stephaniegarber: Did you enjoy it?

-> y/user: It was so good! I moved straight onto Legend! And Toto brought me OUABH!

ashleyposton: I see those outlines! Thank you for your review on goodreads!

olivia_blake: ahhhh, i hope you enjoy it!

fan1: Y/N is definielty a motorsport romance girlie considering she literally lived one!

->fan2: i forget about this!

"Baby, you have to stop packing so many books!" Toto laughs as he gets out his card to pay the extra bagging expense where your bags had ended up being overweight.

"I'm so so sorry! I didn't realize how many I'd take back with me, American Books are so much more floppy than the ones at home... even though I prefer our covers!" she answers, going to get her card out.

"I'll pay baby don't be silly!" Toto laughs tapping his card as air port staff come over and help you guys take the bags away.

"You are my little book worm aren't you!" he grins pinching your cheeks like an older lady.

"Stop!" you say swatting his hand away.

y/user

Liked by toto.wolff and others

y/n: Toto helped me rebuild my book nook AND took me out for a book haul! It's up on my YouTube now!

Link

Tagged 1 Person

View all 301 comments

sarahjmaas: looks amazing!

toto.wolff: I'm happy to help baby!

-> y/user: BEST HUSBAND.

You and Toto had spend the day putting up the swinging chair, and making the room cozy with fairy lights.

He had started to organize your shelves in colour coordination order making a rainbow. You felt so bad when your need to have them in genre and alphabetical order took over.

"Baby, as incredible as this looks, I'm never going to find any books!" you argued and he looks and pulled out Fourth Wing by Rebecca Yarros.

"See I found you current smutty dragon book!" he smiles handing it to you and your eyes widen at the lingo he was using.

"Have you been... watching my videos?" you ask in shock.

"Mmmm yes honey. i find them very amusing!" he admits and you just stare at him in shock.

y/user

Liked by lewishamilton and toto.wolff

y/n: He looks like this so that I can look like this …

I LOVE MY HUSBAND

Tagged One Person

View all 245 comments

fan1: shes so unserious ... lmao

fan2: and you look fab!

You were thankful that Toto worked as hard as he did, he treated you all the time and you treated him in return.

Your husband was so supportive and was without a doubt the best thing that had ever happened to you.

Taglist:

@littlesatanicassholebitch @hockey-racing-fubol @laura-naruto-fan1998 @22yuki @simxican @sinofwriting @lewisroscoelove @cmleitora @daemyratwst @lauralarsen @the-untamed-soul l @thewulf @itsjustkhaos @purplephantomwolf @chasing-liberosis @summissss @gulphulp @starfusionsworld @jspitwall @sierruhhhh @georgeparisole @youcannotcancelquidditch @tallbrownhairsarcastic @ourteenagetragedy @peachiicherries @formulas-bitch @cherry-piee @spilled-coffee-cup @mehrmonga @bigsimperika @blueberry64857959 @eiraethh @curseofhecate @alliwantisadonut @dark-night-sky-99 @i-wish-this-was-me @tallrock35 @butterfly-lover @barnestatic @landossainz @darleneslane @barcelonaloverf1life @r0nnsblog @ilove-tswizzle @laneyspaulding19 @malynn @viennakarma @landosgirlxoxo @marie0v @yourbane @teamnovalak @nikfigueiredo @fionaschicken @0picels0 @seomako @urdad-hot @tinydeskwriter @ironmaiden1313 @splaterparty0-0 @formula1mount @styl1shl1v

[zegrasdrysdale]

[ best christmas ever ] q. hughes

day eight of malia’s christmas fic marathon

pairing : Quinn Hughes x fem!reader

summary : (Y/N) gives fiancé Quinn what could be considered the best Christmas present he’s ever gotten

warning(s) : pregnancy, mentions of miscarriage

author’s note : i think this could be considered a blurb w how short it is tbh but here’s this cute lil thing :)

༺═──────────────═༻

Her hands shake as Quinn unwraps the present that is going to change his entire life. Keeping this a secret for nearly two weeks has been killing her so the fact that her fiancé is seconds away from finding out is exciting and terrifying at the same time.

It's the last present that is being unwrapped this morning while it's just the two of them in their Vancouver apartment. (Y/N) made sure it was the last present unwrapped by taking it out of the closet after all the gifts under the tree from friends and family were opened.

Quinn tosses the ripped up wrapping paper into the trash bag on the ground between them before he opens the box.

Inside is a little Canucks jersey with Quinn's number and 'C'. Quinn is clearly very confused by the tiny jersey so she says, "Turn it around, Quinn."

Laughter is evident in her voice but she doesn't know if it's because of Quinn's confusion or because she's nervous.

She watches his eyes widen when he sees the back of the jersey. In place of Hughes on the back of the jersey is the word "daddy". Quinn looks over at (Y/N) with those wide eyes. "You better not be lying to me, (Y/N)," he says so seriously.

"Eight weeks," she tells him as she rests a hand on the very tiny bump that is under the large t-shirt she's wearing. "I found out three weeks ago and went to make sure everything was okay two weeks ago. When I was told that everything with this baby was perfect, I got the jersey made."

After they lost their last little one over the summer very early on, she didn't want to get Quinn's hopes up again so she went and got every single test done that she could before she told him. The last thing she wanted was to tell him then lose another baby. It nearly broke her in June, and almost broke them.

She couldn't do that again. Not this time.

"You kept this from me for three weeks?" Quinn asks. His voice is soft so he isn't mad. She stays quiet and nods. "Is everything okay?"

(Y/N) slowly nods, still hesitant. "Baby H is growing and developing at the rate they're supposed to be this time," she assures him. "I'm healthy. Baby is healthy. I just needed to be sure before I told you this time. I know how much you want to be a dad and I didn't want to get your hopes up then my body let you down for the second time."

Tears that she didn't know formed in her eyes spill onto her cheeks. She does her best to wipe them away quickly, but he notices them.

Quinn puts the jersey back in the box and moves close to her. He pulls her into a tight hug and she buries her face into his shoulder.

"Your body just wasn't ready last time," Quinn softly tells her as he runs his fingers through her hair. "I love you. I'm so excited to be here with you for the rest of your pregnancy. You're already an amazing mom."

She lets out a silent sob into Quinn's shoulder before she pulls back. "You're not mad I didn't tell you when I found out?" she questions.

"Absolutely not," he assures her with a smile on his lips. She can see that he's genuine when he says that. "I'm happy to know now. I can't wait to go to every appointment with you now. I can't wait to see our baby when you have an ultrasound done. I can't wait to tell all our friends and family and my teammates. I can't wait to meet Baby H. (Y/N), I'm so excited."

His happiness quickly erases any anxiety she felt before he opened that box. She can tell how excited he is about the next chapter in their lives. "Glad I didn't ruin your Christmas by telling you," she jokes.

"Are you kidding?" Quinn says. "This is probably the best Christmas ever. We're going to have a baby. This is the best present I think I have ever gotten on Christmas. Knowing we're going to start the family we have always wanted together is the best present."

A smile finally forms on (Y/N)'s lips. "We're going to have a baby," she softly echoes. Quinn nods and matches her smile.

She launches herself at him, finally sharing the happiness that Quinn is feeling. He falls onto his back onto the carpeted floor and catches her in his arms. He laughs and wraps his arms around her waist. He stares up at his fiancée. "We get to finally be parents," he tells her. "Our rainbow baby."

"Our rainbow baby."

༺═──────────────═༻

MAIN MASTERLIST

have a request ? check out the guidelines !

wanna be added to the taglist ? fill out this form !

taglist : @dancerbailey3 @dasiysthings @axaslee

[reticent-writer]

hellooooo

i was wondering if you could do rengoku headcanons where the reader (gn and child, age 4-7) is kinda like giyu (quiet, doesn't talk much, introvert, etc) but extremely clingy and doesn't know how to talk to people other than rengoku?

(plus meeting giyu if possible, making him the readers second dad maybe)

ofc you dont have too :3

love your writings!!

◡̈⋆ʜᴇʟʟᴏ(●’◡’●)ﾉ thank you ❤

✿✼:*ﾟ:.｡..｡.:*･ﾟﾟ･**･ﾟﾟ･*:.｡..｡.:*ﾟ:*:✼✿　　

"Y/n it's time to wake up." Rengoku gently shook you awake with the quietest voice he could muster.

You started to stir as he picked you up and brought you to the common room for breakfast.

Half awake, you tried to not fall face first into your food.

"Kyojuro that child of ours clearly isn't ready for the day." Your grandfather said as he sat you on his lap to feed you.

Contrary to popular belief shinjuro is soft when it comes to you.

"Sorry father I should've woken them up sooner." He said with the widest grin he could muster. Seeing his father handle his child with such care was enough to make his heart burst.

"Yeah you should have."

You are your father were going to a get together at tengens house. You didn't know weather to be excited or nervous.

Walking up to the estate you hide behind your fathers leg as he goes up to tengen.

"Ah Rengoku so glad you could make it and who might this little one be." Tengen knelt down to your height as your father stepped out from in front you.

You looked up at rengoku expecting him to say something but instead he urged you to.

"Hi, my name is Y/n." You said so quickly and quietly that he could barely hear you, even with him being the sound hashira.

"Nice to meet you Y/n. I'm the flamboyant sound hashira, tengen Uzui." He introduced himself as his wives came behind him and did the same.

"I'm hinasturu, his wife."

"Makio, is second wife."

"I'm Suma, his last wife."

It was clear that you had no idea how to respond and it was only making you more nervous.

Thank goodness Rengoku's eyes we're still functional as he noticed your worried face and picked you up to meet the others.

"Good job little one. You did just as we practiced, I'm so proud of you."

He ruffled your hair as you giggled.

"Both child and father souls as pure as snow." gyomei praised the both of you as you approached.

"Thank you gyomei. It is nice to see you on this fine day."

"Hello." You smiled not knowing that he couldn't see.

After a brief conversation that you weren't paying attention to your father moved on to another group of people.

You recognized two of them. Shinobu and mitsuri but there were three men you didn't know.

"Ah the happy family, how are you both." Shinobu say and rengoku handed you off to her.

You didn't mind.

'We are doing fine. I thought today was a great day for all of you to meet my child."

You waved as they all said there hellos.

You were never one for talking especially when it's people you don't know so you quietly listened until shinobu but you down and let your roam.

You were starting to get hungry and spotted a table with all kinds of food. But you were interested in the onigiri and sweet potatoes.

Walking up to the table you realize it's much higher than you expected but you weren't going to give up when you were so close to what you wanted.

You tried climbing. Fail.

You tried pulled on the cloth. Fail

You were about to stack things to reach before you were stopped but the water hashira.

"Do you want some food. " he said.

You nodded and pointed to onigiri and sweet potatoes which he provided. He got some for himself too.

"Your rengoku's kid right." He said.

You nodded.

"I'm giyuu tomioka. Nice to meet you."

"Nice too meet you too."

The both of ate in silence. But it wasn't awkward. You felt like you can talk about anything with him, and so you did.

The rest of the day you spent around giyuu he answered any question you had about anything.

He reminded you of your dad. So kind.

"Y/N IT'S TIME TO GO." Rengoku called.

You turned to giyuu and tanked him as you ran off to go home.

.

That night you wouldn't stop talking about the great day you had.

Rengoku was glad that you were getting out of your comfort zone and talking to new people.

✿✼:*ﾟ:.｡..｡.:*･ﾟﾟ･**･ﾟﾟ･*:.｡..｡.:*ﾟ:*:✼✿　　

[hollyhomburg]

Before I Leave You (Pt.60)

(Omegaverse au, Mafia au, Bts x Reader)

Summary: Life changes come in many many forms; courting gifts, leaving jobs, and...Murder

Tags: Slow burn getting warmer, Angst, fluff, hurt/comfort, Trans! Tae, Transphobia, gender thoughts, workplace discrimination, flashbacks, murder, the word 'r*pe' is used to describe what Geumjae did to her but there are no graphic depictions of it, allusions to physical abuse, graphic violence, there is a brief moment where someone not in the pack touches the m/c's ass without her consent, blood, briefly implied suicidal actions- but it's nothing like what you haven't seen before.

W/c: 12.6k

A/n: i'll be attending my cousin's wedding at the time this is posted so! give me lots of love when you read it cuz i'm so nervous~ i've never been around so many fancy people before <3

Previous part ~ Masterlist

You dab at the skin under your eyes carefully. You know they must look red and puffy. Tae’s careful instruction to treat your skin well as all good baby pups should has somehow stuck.

Even here. Even now.

“Do people like always loose it with you? Like when they walk in, do they all cry?”

Your therapist (yes, your therapist) across the narrow room is the opposite of threatening; soft face, pulled back hair, neutral clothing that might just as well be out of a country living catalog.

You don’t know where Jin found her, what little medical booklet he perused like a take-out menu, or how much her services cost per hour. Those kinds of details were not for delicate little pups like yourself to worry over in his opinion.

Most of the time, you're glad not to have to worry about things like this. But right now you're chomping at the bit. Weighting your odds. The other unknowns hover before you. One sticks out. One you're most concerned about.

Is she trustworthy?

Nothing about Dr. Rima seems outwardly threatening, yet you curl in on yourself. She smiles, scrawling something on the top of her notepad before she answers, and something taught in you ticks tighter.

“You’re correct in assuming that most people I meet cry in the first few minutes when they meet me, but you are the first person to cry on my threshold. Most of the time people wait until they’re at least in the chair.”

That has a smile tugging at your lips, albeit unwillingly. Your smile is like a leashed wild animal, with too many teeth when you feel threatened. Contained for now.

If you got up and walked out right now, would she call someone to restrain you? Will you be committed if you tell the truth? Or are you just misinterpreting the stakes?

You are here of your own volition. Even if it was a condition that Jin and Namjoon weren't willing to budge on after the events of last week. It's not like the pack is having you put in a mental institution or something, although they did come with you today. For moral support.

The waiting room was stuffy and yellow, one of those little waterfall mirrors in the corner that you’d watched in a fog sat between Yoongi and Jimin while Jin filled out the necessary paperwork. His pen hovering over the small boxes every few seconds. He'd taken the afternoon off of work to make sure he was there, just to fill out paperwork.

Are you on any medications? Do you have a history with substance abuse disorders? Do you have any intent to harm yourself or others?

Sending glares to anyone who dared to come too close, Jimin had looked and smelled threatening. You're not sure he’d have let you go into an isolated location with her if she’d been an alpha. Jin too had looked close to snapping.

yoongi was the only one who looked somewhat calm, althoug his hand was tightly laced with yours (and a little sweaty)

It’s a wonder that the rest of your pack had agreed to stay home for this. This was just one of several concessions you’d made after what the pack has politely begun referring to as 'sad pup time' during your more vulnerable moments, and blatantly 'your breakdown' during less fragile ones.

But sweet words or not. The facts remain; You are here in this chair after a nearly tearful departure.

You’d met the therapist in the doorway, shaking in your boots, and upon being separated from your pack with the promise that they’d be just downstairs in the lobby, you’d followed her inside.

Yoongi had made a noise in his throat, making you turn back. Dr.Rima turned to watch as he’d pulled you in for a last-minute hug, ducking down to your level. “One hour, okay? We’ll be just downstairs. Text me if you need me.”

His eyes were heavy-looking at the stranger. Unwilling to let you go just yet. A little stalwart, a little standoffish.

“Take good care of her please. She’s very precious to us.”

Precious.

That much was evident by the nearly three-page document that both your pack alpha and omega sent through once Namjoon and Jin had selected Dr. Rima as your therapist. Dr. Rima has quite a bit of experience dealing with overprotective pack alphas and pack omegas. Let alone a pack alpha and pack omega who have such a clinical background.

Yes, you must be well taken care of. At least on paper.

She’s already itching a little, to get her hands on all the others. Packmates and their names are written out, as a part of all intake files. Large packs aren't so common anymore. Her eyes fix on one name; Min Yoongi (beta, mate) unemployed.

The big windows help it feel not so small, on the second floor, the trees block out most of the view of the park below. A small voice that sounds like Hobi whispers that it’s a shame she doesn’t have any plants in here, they'd do so well with all of this natural light.

Your knees clack together a little, moving listlessly, the anxiety in your body begging to be released somewhere.

“I don’t know where to start.”

“Why don’t we start with why you wanted to come in today.”

You avoid her eye contact, looking instead at the tops of the trees, you don’t know why they haven’t changed color yet, all of the trees on your street are half bare already. She has a smooth inoffensive scent, but you’re mated to a beta so you know what to expect when it comes to the relaxing effects, the subtle haze at the edge of your vision. It must come in handy, having the biological upper hand, when it comes to patients in distress.

If therapists are rare, beta therapists must be even rarer.

You can practically hear Jin, “Nothing but the best for my pup.” There is a part of your brain that won’t ever turn off, appraising everything around you. The designer pumps that she wears. The knickknacks on her desks, there are no photos of any packs that she might call her own, just a pink calendar in the corner.

Your breath goes just a little bit rapid, just a little, hitching when you think of it.

“Did Jin tell you anything?”

“He didn’t. Although my secretary did inform me that he filled out the paperwork for you.” The air in the therapist’s office is cold. Cold enough that it has you wrapping your sweater sleeves over your knuckles.

Your cheeks heat “My pack they- get a bit- protective.” Your fingers circle your wrist. You’re glad that Hobi convinced you to take one of his sweatshirts. He'd had a strange look on his face while he zipped it up, and you'd had to worry and wonder about it the whole morning. You'd worried more once he texted, just after he must have gotten to work.

“I have kind of a history of self-destructive behavior and I- I kind fell into bad habits a few days ago and blew up. It was all kind of triggered by this like- thing that happened with me and my other packmate.” It’s surprisingly easy to tell the truth.

You’re a right side better than you have been the last few weeks, now. A little bit more present, less foggy. The doctor just looks at her screen and not at you. What is it with her asking questions that make you not want to lie? Why does it feel like you should anyway?

Dr. Rima reads between the lines, what you're trying to say without saying it. “Is there a possibility of you hurting yourself again?” She clicks at the screen a little rapidly.

“No.”

The truth is you have no idea. It seems best to lie in this situation. But you consider it; one of your packmates making the call that you are too much to handle, that you need more help than they can offer. You imagine what it would be like to be in inpatient care. Grippy socks and group therapy and probably observed mealtimes. Maybe Iv's and feeding tubes if it came to that. Away from the pack and away from Yoongi.

He’s just downstairs, but that feels too far. There was no way that he was going to let you do this alone, you wouldn't be surprised if he never left the waiting room.

It’s just a therapy session. The very thing that you once refused. But now that you're here you might as well heal, you might as well work to stop this endless train of brief highs and endless lows. you'll give it a go, why not? What do you have to lose?

And yet, the texts from Hobi remain unanswered:

Ho-🐝 (9:48): Hey, I’m really proud of you.

Ho-🐝 (9:48): I’m really happy I get to be your packmate. In case you ever worry.

Ho-🐝 (9:49): And your best friend too &lt;3

Ho-🐝 (9:51): Just so you knowwww

The pack has kept you substantially plied with little solutions since your breakdown last week. They haven’t let you rot like usual. They’ve kept your days full of little activities; nothing too extravagant or tiring. Letting you rest when you need to and encouraging you to get outside of your comfort zone when it’s clear you’re giving in.

It comes down to that more often than not; giving in or not giving in.

Not giving in looks like trips back to the beach with Hobi. Like going to the salon with Tae and shopping with Jimin. Or another workout class with Jungkook where you’d spent more of the time lounging on the yoga mat than actually moving your body. But you'd still tenuously agreed to sign up for more classes under the encouragement of Wonho and Jungkook.

And now twice a week, you’ve got a mat to call your own during any classes, in the back, if you decide you want it. Your callender hasn't felt so full in years, it feels strange, to have something to do during the weeks that isn't just scraping the bottom of the barrel and doing house chores. Strange in a good way.

Not all of the pack's solutions aren’t silly but sometimes, silly is a good way to push out the dark.

The morning after your breakdown; you'd watched your pack work, fighting back a flush. Sitting at the kitchen bar stool while Yoongi applied painter’s tape to the floor, not intent on keeping back paint this time, but marking it off for you.

You’re a little bit more determined this morning although your first night without nightmares in a little over a month had kept you in higher spirits. You feel more well-rested than you have in ages.

“You don’t need to- I promise- I’m not going-“ but your requests had fallen on deaf ears. Worry building until Jungkook stood up fast grinning up at you, pupils wide brown pools from getting scented stupid this morning.

(Scented stupid, you'd been scented by the pack too, had struggled a little against it, too shy as Namjoon dragged his throat along yours, squirming until yoongi held you down a little, checking with you each few seconds that you wanted that, that your squirming was really just needing to feel a firm touch, a dominant one.

You will go nowhere until your pack have had their right to you, scenting you up, making your scent gland tender and swollen under their teeths and tongues.

It felt so much better to be made to handle it, each of the pack, even hobi, hovering over you to scent you with their wrists and throats. until you smelled so claimed by them that you couldn't breathe without smelling it- Pack.

Jungkook had pouted until he'd gotten the same treatment, although the omegaspace haze had lasted longer on him than it had on you.

He stands up so fast that his hair fluffs. Catching himself on your leg with a giggle before he topples over. grinning up at you before pressing a sleepy sloppy kiss to your knee and then another to your lips,

“No pup zone!" Omega Space Jungkook can get a little bit ridiculous even at the best of times. He's got a case of the morning omegaspace zoomies as he giggles and nips at your nose. You playfully push at his chest. He doesn't budge.

"Your whole face is a no-pup zone." The dissatisfied pur-chirp he'd let out had sounded half hurt, half encouraged.

Namjoon had eased your discomfort. Pulling you from the stool to lean back against his chest, fingers drumming out a rhythm on your legs as Jungkook huffes into your throat.

Having this failsafe- this rule, does not mean that they think you’re going to fail, these are guard rails to keep you on track. Namjoon looks down at you, his full bottom lip tucked a little, not a pout but close. “This is the easiest solution, if you don’t go near it then maybe, maybe it helps.”

His fingers drum against your skin again, and you lean back into him. Uneasy but willing to let him soothe you.

So yes, you’ve been banned from the kitchen, banned from crossing that line that runs from the edge of the coffee stand and just in front of Tae's library room, to the island and over to the fridge. Unless there is someone else close by. You are not allowed here without supervision.

It’s a simple solution, limiting you from the place that you use to hurt yourself. Never mind the fact that there are dozens if not hundreds of other possible avenues you could use. Your creativity knows no bounds when it comes to pain, but you quiet that part of yourself when the desire for hurt gets loud.

You can’t say it hasn’t helped. But then again, the pack has kept you so busy since your breakdown that you haven't had any time to think of hurting yourself let alone put any plans into action.

Across from you, Dr. Rima waits expectantly.

"It was kind of triggered by this thing that happened."

The tip of her pen bobs a little as she writes. “Could you describe the event to me? Or is that something you're not ready to talk about?" You nod and she waits patiently. It takes you a breath to answer.

“A little less than a month ago one of my packmates and I found a dead body."

You feel a little vindicated at her inhale of breath. Wide eyes that say yes- that is something traumatic, yes, it's fair that it kinda triggered you into a more fragile state.

"It dredged up a lot of feelings about my past. Before that, I was kind of starting to feel s-safe which I haven't like, ever been able to feel."

“And your packmate?"

There is new treacherous wetness balancing on your waterline. “Hobi’s a lot stronger than me, his past and mine are really similar but he just- handles his better. A lot of the time it feels like I learn from him even though he’d tell you the opposite is true. He’s my best friend." Your voice goes quiet, "I love my mate more than I love anyone else, but sometimes- Hobi just- gets me you know?" You go a little misty-eyed. Hands tightening on Hobi's sweatshirt.

“Yet he’s not the one sitting in my chair right now.”

You close your eyes, "he's not."

“For what it’s worth- you can have more than one best friend.” Dr. Rima writes as quickly as she can, taking it down. “How long have you been romantically involved with him? Who came first, your mate or him?”

You jolt forward, “Oh no- we’re not- Hobi and I aren't-" You take a deep breath to clarify. "Everyone else in the pack is together but Hobi and I are just friends. We all have our like… little units?”

"Primary partners." Dr. Rima offers.

"Yeah, that." But even that doesn't really cover it, because while Jin and Namjoon are JinandNamjoon and Jimin and Tae are JiminandTae. Jungkook is everyone's problem (in the best of ways) and you and Tae are something else too. The pack's girls the rest of them would say.

(You and Hobi are, well, YouandHobi.)

It sounds weird to say it once it comes out of your mouth. It makes an odd choked feeling lodge in your throat. Too much hope and too much shame for hoping blooming in your chest.

“I don’t know if I want to talk about him.”

She folds her hands over her knees, setting her pen down. Dr. Rima has chubby hands, disproportionate to her body. They look like they'd be soft.

She reminds you of your mom a little bit.

“That’s okay, we can talk about whatever you want. What you want and need is going to be the focus of our sessions. You’re the pilot here. I’m just here to help you interpret your thoughts and feelings.”

She folds her hands over themselves, setting her pen aside, “Why don’t we talk about the last time you remember feeling safe.”

"Physically or mentally?"

"Either, you can choose."

The rest of the session passes frightfully quickly. You can’t say that you don’t cry again. When you finally talk about Geumjae, her smile quickly dissipates. You talk and talk and talk until your throat is raw. Until you’ve depleted the whole box of her tissues. She shows you she's got more hidden under her desk when you apologize, her secret stash gets a laugh out of you.

“The fact that your pack omega filled out your paperwork isn’t the most unusual, but his preference for daily meetings or every other day is a little bit on the nose for a pack omega, I’m wondering if you share his preference.”

“He’s just overprotective.” She eyes you like Jin has good reason to be. You don’t blush this time, a little more comfortable with Dr. Rima than you were at the beginning of this. “I think maybe more than once a week but not every day.”

“How does Monday- Friday sound?”

~-~

When you walk to the door with Dr. Rima Yoongi stands abruptly from his chair.

You can tell by the shiny edge to his to his scent that he doesn't want to stay here any longer than necessary. He gets the information about your next appointment and then tugs you out the door.

Jins got his legs crossed, fancy leather shoes glinting in the sunlight by the windows. The lobby is buzzing with people coming and going. This building isn't just a therapy office but a collection of other businesses with a few shops and restaurants on the ground floor as well. He looks up and double-takes when he spots you, not standing from his chair, but he opens his arms and you fold yourself along his side, conscious of the other eyes but this.

This you need.

You press your face along the column of Jin's neck, breathing his cream scent in deep.

“Oh pup.”

Your red-rimmed eyes are too obvious and you sniffle wetly, “It was okay, I like Dr. Rima.” He laces your hands together and resists the urge to pester you with questions. Yoongi's hand is still tangled in the hood of your (Hobi's) sweatshirt. Your therapy sessions should be yours and only yours. Yoongi and Jin do not have Dr. patient confidentiality.

And yet the need to know if that helped burns through them. They won't have to wonder for long.

By the coffee stand, Jimin waves and he returns to you when the barista hands over a bag of sweets and a quad of cups. Jin continues scrawling something out for another second before he’s standing and pulling you in for another chaste scent mark.

“Let’s go home.” It's somewhere between an order and a request. But no one disobeys.

On the drive back (37 minutes total) you're a little quiet. You let the sounds of the others be your buffer. You look down at your phone and stare at Hobi’s texts. You respond with just a little heart emoji when you finally still can’t figure out a good response and you're close to home.

Home is its usual conflagration of moving bits and pieces. Each of your packmates is like a shiny cog in a pretty clock, tick tick tick tocking along. Tae and Namjoon are at the table looking through some of the pack’s bills, the pastries and coffee cups litter the table with little piles of powdered sugar and cinnamon. jimin bought enough for the whole pack.

You look at them a little too long, although not because you don't want to eat them. It’s been a while, a few weeks since you’ve made something like that, but every single one of the pastries is something you know how to make. You don’t know why you keep looking at them.

Tae smiles at you, still in the doorway. and it makes you feel a little less like you want to burst into tears. Her voice speaks of the quiet time you have in the library (the tenderness of having someone else do your makeup, another person combing your hair). You hope you'll get some dedicated one-on-one time with her soon.

"Hey little lovely, How was it?"

"She put me through the wringer but I think she got some suds out."

She and Namjoon giggle and you smile small. and you can tell that Namjoon wants to ask you more but he doesn't after a pointed look from your mate. There are footsteps in the hall and before you can move to take off your shoes Hobi is standing in the archway.

Yoongi efficiently strips you of Hobi's sweatshirt with a frustrated huff. It's Kind of like he’s trying to peel away the sadness (your clothes are soaked with your sour scent, rainy and unhappy. Regardless of Jin’s scent mark, you kind of stink).

You might have overheard their words just before you got into the car. Jin's hissed admonishment. “A lot of people cry during therapy Minnie, she’s not in trouble, can’t you smell it?”

Your scent is mellow underneath the memory of your distress, going sweeter by the second. Yoongi wants all memories of your sad scent banished from the house. Hobi stands at the door to the hallway, shifting back and forth, his eyes a little warmer than usual, hands shaking a little bit.

You’ve caught him looking at you a lot since the night he ran away, in the quiet moments when he thinks you’re not noticing. Eyes a shade warmer than usual, a sweetened franticness to his scent. Nervousness and happiness mix like blueberries and whipped cream.

When he pulls up beside you during movie nights and sits thigh to thigh with you. When his hands intertwine with yours over his knee or sometimes or when he pulls your legs sideways across his lap. He looks at you like that when he's doing the small things and he's looking at you like that right now.

You know how love starts, that it starts with the small things.

Hobi resists the urge to open his arms. would you come to him? Would you fold your body along his front so that he could feel your heartbeat? Pressing again and again to the opposite side of his chest with every thump?

He doesn’t say hey, but he does step a little closer. Fingers reaching out. The pad of his index finger slides down the meat of your pinky till it reaches the ball of your wrist. His own special hello.

Your breath hitches, just barely, almost imperceptible if it wasn’t for how close he stands.

A look behind you says Yoongi hasn’t made himself scarce, instead fussing with the pack's coats. Now that it’s getting colder, they don’t all fit by the door. You look behind Hobi and find Namjoon watching the three of you, he raises a singular eyebrow.

“How was it? Bad?” Hobi asks, breaking the silence and the tension, drawing your attention back to him. The next breath you let out is a lot less heavy, and your eyelashes flutter as he steps closer. Hobi smells good, a little earthy, mellowing out his usual sweetness. Sweet for an alpha.

“It was kind of hard, I kinda wanted to run away for a bit at the beginning." You can't keep meeting his eyes with how intensely he's looking at you and they flutter down to his hands. "I almost did.”

"I'm glad you didn't pup." Jin comments, full of reproach, the mirror to you and Hobi as he leans down to press a kiss to Namjoon's forehead. Shucking off his lapelled jacket and rolling up the sleeves of his button-down shirt.

“If you’d have called me, I’d have picked you up. We could still like- run away, if you're down.”

But the house is starting to heat up, and Jin and Yoongi are starting to cook. The light is still honey-yellow happy. And you tip your cheek into his arm. He finally- finally lets his arms settle around your waist.

“Nah, not yet.” You drag out the syllable all playful, and something forbidden stirs in Hobi’s gut. “Jin’s making my favorite tonight. not until later?”

Hobi goes silent, pulls back, biting his lips, eyes flickering from your eyes down. and-

You laugh and Hobi blushes. “Just spit it out.”

Everyone’s been a little bit touchier with you since that night (a little more overbearing too). You won’t immediately chalk Hobi's touchyness up to what you're all thinking. But the affection makes your scent gland feel tender. Zinging when Yoongi steps up behind you and nuzzles into it, huffing again.

Friends can hug each other after therapy right? Hobi swallows thickly and you feel it against your collar bone as he pulls back and steps away from you. “I ugh- got you a present?”

You brighten up instantly, and Hobi's anxiety increases tenfold. A bit of casual mischievousness on the edge of your lips that always have Hobi feeling like he’s being teased even though he knows he isn’t.

“Oh? A present? You’ve never gotten me a present before!”

He kicks at imaginary dust bunnies, fighting back what he knows is a noticeable flush. “I ugh- still owe you, from the car you know and honestly it's not even like a big gift it's like- so small in comparison and-”

Yoongi huffs and continues to disrobe you. Pulling your sweater over your head when he’s not satisfied that your unhappy scent has dissipated. Muttering something like. “hopeless alpha” under his breath. Your tank top pulls up, inches of your hip and skin on display. It's nothing that Hobi hasn't seen before and yet the blush reignites. The sunshine to your morning glory.

“I guess you're right.” But it doesn’t feel like it. Hobi doesn’t owe you anything for that, not when it was so easy to give. Not when you’ve gotten so many late-night drives from that gift.

Hoseok got the idea for your courting gift, one morning while watching you say goodbye to Namjoon:

The pack alpha has always been a fan of goodbye kisses, good morning, and goodnight kisses too. The particular kiss that morning had ‘I’ll miss you’ written all over it. It was so pretty in the way that you lingered, arms around Namjoon’s neck. His hand is underneath your shirt on the small of your back. Such a small touch and yet so gently possessive that it had Hobi aching to see it.

Hobi is unfortunately prone to jealousy and it turns the back of his neck hot. Makes his hands feel oddly tender. He's distracted by the visual, the task of packing up his work bag forgotten. Hoseok’s shift at the flower shop doesn’t start for another few hours, and he’s waiting, watching, an unhappy voyeur.

You and Namjoon have quite the height difference, if he was in between the two of you he’d be the perfect middle ground. That’s just another stupid thought, another stupid thought in the countless number of stupid thoughts that he’s had. (I like my alphas a little pathetic, and nothing's more pathetic than an alpha pining after an omega.)

He grumbles.

Yoongi prattles on, more awake than all of them as he outlines what you have to do today to make progress on the house- which is to go find a place that sells cheaper tile than the ones you first thought of using in the bathroom on the first floor. And maybe change it up a little.

The bathrooms escaped the renovations somehow, and a few nights ago- Jimin had admitted how much they actually use it even though it’s not the pack's primary bathroom anymore. Now that it’s not in use, they’re more willing to part with it for a few days for some very necessary re-styling. it toes the line from vintage to old a little too hard. The yellow is a little…yellow.

Yoongi wants to go light and airy with the color scheme, like he did with the upstairs bathroom and it's seafoam and brown tones. But like with most of the house, your vote is for colorful. “How about a light blue-” Yoongi continues to argue while you kiss Namjoon a little senseless in the doorway, at least Namjoon seems properly dazed, chasing your lips when you pull apart.

“No- we don’t have a room that’s magenta yet!”

This starts the same argument as always; “We can’t make every room in this house pink for Tae.”

But goodbyes take precedence, and when you turn back and smile at Hobi he flushes, shy to be caught looking. He moves, stepping around you and Namjoon to put his water bottle into his bag when you shout, “Stop, Seokie!”

Seokie is a new nickname, one that Jin only uses in the quietest of moments that you've somehow adopted when you don't want to call him Hobi. Hobi always thought that if you’d use any other nickname with him- you’d use daisy (he might want you and yoongi to share that pet name). But he’s a good pup and stops what he’s doing. Every atom in his body every electron no longer circulates neutrons but circulates you instead. Pulled in by your gravity.

You’ve moved so suddenly that you’ve spilled a bit of your coffee onto the floor. Maybe kissing Namjoon has left you feeling a little dizzy too. Yoongi just sighs fondly and wipes it up. Jimin looks up from his phone, smiling when he sees.

“You’ve got a rainbow on your cheek.”

It’s a trick of the light, early morning sunshine refracted through the mottled window just right to cast a single rainbow on the wall and on Hobi when he steps in front of it.

You cup his cheek, finger skimming across where the rainbow sits.

"Pretty."

Hobi feels hot all over.

At Tae’s call of, “If I have to do my eyeliner one more time I’m going to scream!” You giggle and dart away from him. Going to tend to Tae with a soft reply of "I've got you baby."

Hoseok is left, blushing in the morning light. Staying still like you might come by and cup his cheek again, Like a flower staying still in the hope of pollination.

Hobi is left, wanting to scream and somehow demand you back, both would be fair. His plight isn't missed by his packmates, who lean in like a set of jackals, grinning ear to ear at hobi's flustered predicament.

She's going to send him into rut if she's not careful Jin thinks, but doesn't say. instead he teases, “You’ve got to leave in the next ten-minute Hobi.”

Only then does Hoseok move- released from his spell and finally losing the rainbow on his cheeks though they might as well have stayed with how happy and warm he feels. How absolutely incandescent the love is glowing in his chest. A full spectrum of feelings, longing for you to come back.

He almost trips over noodle, darting after you with his tail raised high, catching himself on the edge of the couch at the last second, one shoe on and one off, his water bottle falling and spilling in the process.

yoongi sighs, and stoops to wipe it up. Jimin giggles and pulls Hobi up by his hips, the alpha's fingers feel hot where they've touched him, scalding. “What’s wrong, omega got your tongue?” yoongi returns to his breakfast, throwing the wad of soggy paper towels into the trash.

Jungkook laughs, “It’s more like he wants an omega to have his tongue in her-“

“You guys are gross,” He pushes at Jimin’s shoulder finally moving right. Yoongi hides his smile in a mouthful of Captain Crunch.

Hobi doesn’t think about the rainbows again until his next afternoon shift. When the low angle of the autumn sun cuts through the windows and catches the suncatchers that they hang in the doorway of the flower shop and cast more rainbows- dozens of them really across him and the flower.

He remembers when you came to visit, how you'd lingered over them, looked at them a second longer than you looked at the plants.

It’s a bit of a kitschy display. Other polished stones and nick nacks sitting on the deep shelf along with some smaller potted plants. A little tray of rose-quartz stones falsely advertises themselves as ‘heat reducers.’

The colors start to blend, and the rainbows sway softly in the light, gentle and pretty. He snaps a photo and thinks about sending it to you, but doesn’t.

The store is blissfully empty of Hobi's coworkers when he selects three of them. It's quiet when he packages them in tissue paper, one with a huge pink stained-glass moon at the top, another with three tiers. Each of them is delicate and pretty in their own right. No one’s bought a single one of them in the last three months anyway. They'll hardly be missed. Hobi gives himself a fat employee discount.

Hobi is unfortunately bad at hiding things, especially when he's nervous. Luckily the pack alpha doesn’t have it in him to tease. Namjoon had in fact been only too encouraging and given him a pep talk just this morning about courting and courting presents.

“The worst that can happen is that she doesn’t like it- and then you just have to try again which you were already planning on doing anyway.” Namjoon is quite simply the best at courting. It doesn't matter which subgender; alphas, beta’s, and omegas have all fallen under his touch. At least Hoseok has the opportunity to learn from a professional. Somehow the thought that you'd compare him to namjoon doesn't cross his mind.

Hoseok isn’t good at the romantic gestures that courting necessitates. He’s more of the ‘there when you need him’ kind of lover. Ready to make the small changes to make his loved ones' lives more manageable. Ready with his car keys for adventures. Those parts are easy, this is out of his depth.

Especially when it comes to you. Even After the love confessions, (are confessions still confessions if they’re so internal?) Hobi feels mostly unmoored. About to shatter upon unknown shores.

God, crushes are so frustrating (in the best kind of way, the way that keeps you sighing and daydreaming, the kind of way that makes you look in the mirror a little longer).

Tae helped him half an hour before she started on the pack's paperwork. They'd spent an hour deciding which places were best to hang them to get the greatest number of rainbows. She had even fussed with his hair a little to make it lie right. Having him hop up on the couch so she could see Hobi's face from your angle.

Hobi wanted to make sure there were at least one or two rainbows when he shows you. But when he leads you to the sunroom, his hands over your eyes (the same position you found yourself in when Namjoon surprised you with the nesting pod) there are more of them than there were when he set them up, whole constellations swaying softly.

The suncatchers are pretty and twinkly sparkly in the golden hour light, and your lips part in a simple show of awe when Hobi tells you you can open your eyes. It's so bright, they send dozens of little rainbows across the walls and your nesting pod. Over the white couch and the fig in the corner.

It’s very very pretty. and when you turn back to look a thim, Hobi once again has a rainbow on his cheek.

Your eyes twinkle, but you don't say anything. you stay quiet for long enough that Hobi gets nervous. his anxiety makes him talk fast. “I hung them here- but you can put them wherever you want- in the kitchen or upstairs or I can get you more for any places you want to put them- or- or- ”

You just about tackle him, arms looping around his neck resting your weight in his arms that instinctively grip around your waist. Hobi teeters, unsteady with such a heavy heart, toppling both of you onto the couch as you cry. "I love it!"

You’re sprawled not lying across him but his hand goes out to support the way you cling and rub your face into his chest, a happy little chirp slipping past your lips.

The wild thing in Hobi’s chest settles, settles, and curls around you. Tight and protective like a vice. You pull back, and your smile is just as bright.

Hobi sags, and rests his neck back against the couch, "Good- thank fucking god- I was so fucking nervous-" You fiddle with the buttons on his flannel, it's one of Yoongi's. It seems fitting that you steal his clothes and he steals Yoongi's.

"What brought all this on?"

Hobi doesn't have a good answer, in the quiet with the rainbows, or at least an answer he's ready for. He doesn't say that this is a courting present, and he doesn't need to because instead of answering your question- he replies with one of his own.

“Wanna go for a drive later?” he asks, voice tremulous like he thinks you might refuse him. You’ve never said no to him before, never said not tonight only not right now. Do you treasure our little talks the same way I do?

“Sure, after dinner? like I said? Just-" You lean back against his chest, and Hobi’s hands go tight tight tight around your waist. Holding you close. Clingy. He does not slip his hand under your shirt to cup the side of your hip the way that Namjoon might, but the thought crosses his mind.

Hobi is a good alpha, he won't cross that line until you tell him it's okay. Until then a thin layer of fabric separates his skin from yours. You're still warm to the couch.

“Sit and watch them with me?” You ask quietly. Almost shy, like you think he’d refuse you. He nods and the two of you sit on the couch to look at the rainbows together.

Eventually, Noodle finds the two of you, meowing and hopping up to stretch out along your thighs. Worming his way between the two of you.

The rainbows don't last forever, but Hobi sits with you until they fade.

~-~

Tae’s library is just like every public library:

Tall windows, wide quiet shelves with room for the stories to breathe. A colorful young adult section and an even more colorful kid’s section. A bit aways from the tables and computers so that any over-excited pups don’t disturb the adults. Big deep beanbags for small children to cuddle up to while they ponder fairy tales and adventures only a plastic-covered book away.

Tae’s long plaid skirt barely makes a whisper along the ground. The colder weather has allowed her to live all of her cottage core fantasies, her dark academia aesthetic truly flourishing. Her shirt is a little translucent today, and the fading summer tan of her skin pokes through it in spots where her tank top doesn't hide. Pretty long earrings dangle and clink in the quiet while she works on her shelving.

Wearing her chosen clothing items at work has been a bit of a work in progress.

Most of Tae’s coworkers approve of her transition in that overly willing-to-be-an-ally way that middle-aged women who generally consider themselves progressive outside of closed doors all do. And the ones that don’t approve have swallowed their words with lingering sour eyes and raised upper lips after the general receptiveness to Tae’s social transition.

It's hard to know who's genuine with it, who just doesn't want to cause a fuss, and who just doesn't give a shit. But most of the time her outfits get one or two compliments and thats it. Tae would rather them say nothing than anything negitive.

Tae likes the quiet of the library at this time of day, the silence gives her enough room to let her imagination wander. Tae likes to file away books in mid-morning, when there are fewer people around and her humming is less likely to disturb any of the library’s patrons. She sings to the stories and they sing back, tempting her with every well-worded title and delicately chaste summary.

But she doesn’t just think about stories or the book she's writing (her book is currently giving her hell on the 30th chapter) No. Today- there is a much more interesting love story blooming in her head, in the pack's den too.

She’s been thinking about you all morning (Tae thinks about you almost every morning) there are even little poems scrawled on the edge of her newspaper. Lines that are you and a bit of Hobi too.

I wished that I might be your hair clip / to know what it feels like / to be pressed against the nape of your neck/ To be your suntan/ perched on the edge/ of what you show everyone and what you show no one/ To be the bearer of every freckle/ like the sky holds the stars/ To hold and never let go/ Like birds hold sunshine / and flowers hold songs.

Everyone had noticed of course, how much time you and Hobi have been spending together.

The pack had even talked about it during a quiet moment without you and Hobi. Yoongi’s lack of communication regarding you and Hobi. “I don’t know anything” he’d unsuccessfully lied, and nearly been heaved up and wrestled to the couch as a result. But Jungkook’s puppy eyes had unsuccessfully endeared him.

Yoongi has kept Hobi's secret, but it's kind of hard not to notice. Tae isn't a fool. Tae is a much better liar than Yoongi is- because when you'd come to her after your late-night drive to gush with her about Hobi and the rainbows over makeup. She hadn't said anything about what she knows.

Tae couldn’t tell you how many times she’d noticed little touches, Hobi’s hand lingering on the small of your back, grabbing your waist when he moved behind you in the bathroom. When he take the greatest care to set out his sweatshirts in the morning and even asks Jungkook to make sure they’re clean. They’re practically not even his sweatshirts anymore with the amount you’ve been wearing them.

Tae isn’t an idiot, she knows that Hobi’s finally realized it. While she doesn’t trust herself to play matchmaker given how poorly the first time she pointed out Hobi’s attraction went. that doesn’t mean she’s not going to park herself firmly on the edge of her fantasy land with a box of popcorn.

If they were gonna get married, would Hobi wear a red tux or black or grey? Her brain is already thinking of wedding dresses. One of these days she’s really going to have to make a Pinterest board. Hobi would probably want to do sunflowers, and that might clash with the red unless it was a fall wedding- ooh, and what about pearl details and daisies? a beach wedding might be a little too on the nose for you.

Tae is so absorbed with her shelving and her daydreaming that she doesn’t notice the sound of small shoes on the carpeted floor. Nor does she notice the light-up flash of tiny iorn man sneakers. Her musings are easily interrupted by a small tug on her skirt, shy almost. She startles a little, looking down at the sudden touch.

The little pup's thumb is wet from where it was clearly placed behind their bucked teeth. He's got wide brown eyes and soft-looking hair, Tae can't stop the smile that comes to her lips.

“I wanted to read a book but I couldn’t reach, can you help me? Please?”

Tae’s heart swells as she leans down to the pup's level. “Of course, I can! Why don’t you show me what one you wanted,” diligently Tae follows the little one a few isles over, tugged along by their insistent pulling as he tells her about the pretty cover.

The little pup turns back, furrowing his bushy brows up at Tae, “are you a princess?” he asks. Tae almost has to laugh, a bright happy gender euphoric feeling filling her chest, that feeling of I could be filling her.

She makes her whisper just a little more hushed, playing along, “Don’t tell anyone okay? It's a secret.” The little pup nods, eyes darting around like there are dragons that would threaten her.

“What gave me away?”

“Princesses wear long skirts!” the pup says cheerfully, like it makes the most sense in the world. He's a little too loud and Tae winces. He finally finds the shelve with the story. The spine glimmers pink and gold and Tae is unsurprised to find the illustrated copy of Cinderella. Not the Disney or PJ version, but the Brothers Grimm version.

Tae cringes at the pair of doves on the cover.

Tae doesn’t say that the little pup is too small to read a book so big, or that there is one with more pictures much more appropriate away from the young adult section. The child can’t be more than 6 years old.

But still, Tae retrieves it and delivers it to their waiting arms. The little one clutches it to his chest, thanks Tae, and then promptly plops themselves onto the carpeted floor right there.

He opens the first page, huffs, and then looks up at her imploringly.

“I just realized I can’t read.”

He pouts and Tae melts. Tae wonders where the pup's mother is, but really, there certainly can't be much harm in this. This isn't the first time Tae has been guilted into reading a story to a pup while their parents work or make use of the library's computers.

"Just the first page.” She intones, caution for the child’s hopes in her voice, she presses her skirt under her knees and sits on the scratchy carpet. The pup curls close to see the pictures. Resting his tiny chubby cheek in the billow of Tae’s big puffy sleeve.

Tae's chest is all tight as she reads. The pup is very well-behaved, he pauses, and asks questions in a soft voice only when Tae gives him space to respond. Tae easily ommits the parts that aren't appropriate. but tae finds herself watching the pup a little bit more as the minutes stretch.

In a few years with your own little ones around, will Tae become the defacto bedtime story reader? Will she do this with the pack's pups one day? Will she be the one to take that bright little light in their eyes that imagines things as greater and more and cultivate it? Her cheeks feel warm at the prospect, heart beating like a hummingbird's wings in excitement.

Your pups and Jin's pups too- they're gonna be so loved. Tae's gonna be the best mom to them, The best alpha too.

One page turns into two and then three. In this quiet corner with only Tae’s voice as ruler and god, the little pup hinges on every word. Until there’s another voice close by. An adult not wishing to be loud, a whispered name.

“Jae?”

Tae smiles up at the woman at the end of the aisle of books. Her smile turns sweeter when Jae hops up and runs to press his face into her jeaned thighs. Tae remembers how that felt, how every scent besides Tae’s own omega mother felt overwhelming and icky.

Tae stands with a crack of her knees and makes to hand over the book, “This makes a great bedtime story until about chapter 8, that one you might want to skip until he’s a little older.”

The woman makes to smile, but it only goes so far. Tae watches in perfect detail, everything in slow motion, as her eyes flicker down to Tae’s Addams apple.

She drags her child close by their wrist quicker than Tae can blink. Tae sees the moment that the child realizes this touch isn’t gentle, wide eyes going fear-stricken as he's tugged behind her back. And then it's all downhill from there.

I'll spare you the more vile bits.

But the saddest moment of the argument that follows (Which involves not one but three of Tae's co-workers to calm down the hysterical woman whose screeches echo around the quiet library) is when the pup tries to get his mother's attention. "Mom, I liked that she was reading to me."

"He" the certified Karen hisses, moving in a way that makes the pup flinch back. "-should know better than to corrupt a pup with such- such-" her eyes dart down and up, and Tae's skin burns. "Disgusting behavior."

The misgendering doesn't even sting. What does hurt is the eyes peering in. She isn't being quiet and it's causing many of the library's patrons' attention is diverted. Tae's coworkers have put themselves between Tae and the woman. But there still aren't enough people (enough packmates) in between her and the verbal tirade.

An hour later, after the woman has left after threatening to call the police, Tae talks with his boss and his boss’s boss. The room behind the front desk is glass, and he knows that the door doesn’t keep the sound of their raised voice out.

“I wasn’t harassing her child; I was just helping him find a book for Christ sake!”

The worst part is that this isn’t the first time that this has happened. No- since Tae came out there have been two other complaints leveled against her from bigoted patrons. Both right at the beginning before she got the hang of presenting how she wanted to.

At least those confrontations weren’t face-to-face. At least those complaints didn’t end with someone threatening to call the police and a pup cowering, tugged along too roughly out the door.

The little pup had glanced back at Tae, mouth in pout, eyes swimming with tears.

Even if the woman felt righteous in her anger, the least she could have done was not yell in front of the pup. Tae promises herself right then and there, that she'll never raise her voice in front of the pack's pups, not in anger.

The book has stayed on the counter at the front. Pink and gold and treacherous. Tae hopes that if anything, the pup finds it and reads the ending one day. Stories have a way of finding us, even when the world makes us let them go.

Now in the back room behind the check-out counter. Tae’s boss levels her with an expectant look, the kind that people give when they don’t want to be transphobic not really- it’s just so hard for them not to, so learned. Tae is the nail that sticks up. It’s bullshit really. Tae can tell it's bullshit before she opens her mouth.

“Really? He asked for Cinderella?”

“Yes.” Tae’s biting tone is an alpha’s tone, not a man’s, and yet she knows how it sounds.

“I find that hard to believe.”

“I’m not lying.” Is Tae supposed to only help some children find the books they want? Is she supposed to look at them and make her best guess if they’ve got homophobic parents and skip them over? It’s not her fault that the sweet sweet pup’s parent was a bigot.

“I can’t help but feel like- you’ve got a personal agenda-“

"Charlie-" the district manager cautions.

Tae can’t stop herself from snapping, alpha anger sparking with the intent to burn. “Little boys should be allowed to read Cinderella if they want to” Rats and all. Her hands are shaking, and it isn’t missed by them. The room smells thick with Tae’s spicy cinnamon anger.

The district manager sets her hand on Tae's shoulder, and her anger ebbs just a little. “I think maybe you should go home a little early today, just to cool off. We can talk about it more tomorrow.”

Tae doesn’t want to go home early, Tae doesn’t want to go home at all as she packs up her books. Her bag lighter than usual, absent of the stories that she wants to take home. For once there aren’t any that she wants to read.

She walks to the train station because Jimin won’t be off work for another 2 hours and that’s when he’d usually pick her up, the last three days he’s gotten her flowers too; white roses the first day, pink the second, and red the third. She sends him a text.

Tae <3 (1:48): I left work early today, you don’t have to pick me up, I’ll get an Uber home.

Mini-alpha (1:49):!!!!!

Mini-alpha (1:49): What happened? Are you sure you don’t want me to pick you up? I can leave now.

Tae sighs, looking down at her phone while she waits for the crosswalk light to come on. Red still, green in a few seconds, she only has to wait. She can practically feel Jimin's nervous energy through the phone. it's a wonder he doesn't immediately call her.

It makes her soft. It isn't in Jimin's nature to give any of his lovers any space but he always makes an effort when it comes to her.

Tae <3 (1:53): No. It’s fine. I’ll talk to you when you get home.

Tae doesn’t want to talk to Jimin about transphobia again. At least not yet. It’s too much energy. It’s not that Tae doesn’t want to make what happened during Namjoon’s rut better. It’s not that she doesn’t want to talk about it- it’s just that there’s nothing to talk about, the explanation of his actions are such a burden for Tae to bear. And Tae trusts that Jimin’s heart is in the right place even if he makes mistakes. And even telling Jimin off, yelling at him, wouldn’t change it.

Either one day Tae will not have to deal with bigoted parents, either one day she’ll pass and won’t have to worry, or she'll always be in this awkward middle ground.

Trans people are like toupees, you only notice them when there’s something off, something a little misplaced about them. Tae fears that most of all. Femininity, as much as she wants it, as much as it's hers to take, what if it won't ever fit right? What if she never passes?

Tae loves her job at the library, it’s the perfect mix of boring and safe and easy even if it doesn’t pay enough. But even as she's gained things like skirts and puffy sleeves, she's exchanged them for days like today. Really, the library was her favorite place before today and now, every step away from it makes her feel a little lighter. She's not even angry anymore, just exhausted mentally.

Tae decides to walk home at least she’s in her most conservative channel flats, they could use a little bit more wear and love and Tae’s thoughts are still too sharp. She dulls them to a palatable edge that all falls apart when she gets home.

You’re there, thank fucking god you’re always there when she gets home. You’ll always be Tae’s comfort person.

Tae opens the door with a creek and push of cold air, you're saying something to Yoongi turning with a toss of your hair, eyes brightening when you see her before you've even said her name.

You look a little healthier today, with a little bit more of a rosy glow to your cheeks and a healthy brightness to your eyes, not all glassy.

"Tae! You're home early!"

Tae will never stop being proud of how hard you try, and will never stop being a bit envious either because Tae-

Tae looks at you and wilts, bag flopping onto the floor, and predictably burst into tears.

"Oh- oh Tae."

"Baby girl-"

You and Yoongi are just about the best security blanket a packmate could ask for. You're so good as you pull her down to your level so you can kiss away her tears, maneuvering her like a perfect team onto the couch. Yoongi's strong hands slide off her shoes. Yoongi's fingers digging into her sore heel as you kiss away her every tear.

A substantial amount of babying and a Sos packmate in distress text later, and Tae is reclining across a freshly fluffed nest, the muscles in her body relaxed. The blisters on the back of her feet are bandaged and kissed. Every inch of her body is too.

You don't talk about it until after the pack's facemasks are finished, and hobi's clear coat has dried over the tiny nail sticker that you left. a small bumblebee.

Your skin smells sweet after a long long bath full of fancy bath bombs. Jinnie had also rubbed oil onto her freshly shaven legs. You helped, dragging it along oh so carefully to not nick her skin. Ending each pass with a kiss to her ankle and then upper thigh.

Tae’s head is in your lap now, cheek pressed against your (slightly chubbier) thighs. Her sniffles the background music as Tae gives her final recap of what happened.

Your nose gets a wrinkle in it when you go cross. "There's so much meanness to the world, I hate how people have to add to it."

Jimin’s anger leaves an undercurrent in the air, dragging the other alphas along, Hobi’s hands are strong where they dig into Tae’s shoulders, belly down in the nest while you play with her hair, braiding it back and forth. The attention makes her feel a little tingly.

“Do you know what her name was? Did you get a look at her car-“ Jimin asks, nearly barking. The library has cameras. Jimin knows it does.

Jin sets a hand on the back of his neck, a scruff threatening. “Down pup. Tae doesn’t need you to track them down.” Jimin’s teeth look particularly sharp in the light. For a face so soft he has quite the mouth on him.

“They made her sad,” he growls, but it's softer, more pointed as he crouches over her.

Namjoon’s quiet voice unlocks the whole world's worries, massaging gently down the column of Tae’s delicate neck, rough hands, worn tender touching her regardless. Namjoon is rarely ever so pointed, but it's logical, from an alpha's perspective, Tae knows what he hints.

"I think that if your bosses aren't going to protect you from people like that, then I want you to leave your job." Jin gives him a look like, 'Now you know where I'm coming from' but Tae's the important packmate right now.

Tae rolls Namjoon's words around her tongue, her hand loosely twined with his. Namjoon has the steadiest hands out of everyone in the pack and a few minutes ago he repurposed his surgery skills to do her nails. Took off the chipped red and re-did them because Namjoon knows she feels best when her claws are polished. He checks them now. Tapping them lightly to not smudge them.

It's a girl's night, the first girl's night you've ever had with the whole pack. Tae's face is still glossy from the face mask.

“I don’t think I want to quit; I don’t think that would help at all that’s not going to like- solve the world and all its issues.”

“No, but- if it’s making you more sad than happy. Then maybe it’s worth considering.”

Tae knows Namjoon’s not saying that she doesn’t make enough to affect the pack's finances, but that's still the truth. Hobi pulls himself along her other side and you watch him with heavy-lidded eyes.

Hobi presses a kiss to Tae's temple, “All you want to do is write every day anyways, and we just want you to be happy,” 6 heads nod their agreement.

Hobi isn't wrong; The last four weekends in a row Tae has woken up several hours earlier than the pack would usually stir from morning cuddles, just to get a few hours of uninterrupted writing done. She’s also spent nearly every night in her library room, staying up late after the pack has retired upstairs until one of you comes down and wrangles her upstairs. The pack's prettiest alpha needs her beauty sleep.

But is it enough to count on? Is it worth quitting her job over?

You duck down low, kissing the same spot Hobi did, your lips touching just a Tae away. a heavy breath wooshes out of her chest. "Yeah why wouldn't we want you to quit? If you're always here then I can always do this."

Your kiss is gentle, and it tastes like belonging more than Tae would ever be able to write, to describe. A love that makes you feel like you belong is a rare thing. And Tae's hand goes up to tangle in your hair, keeping you there for just a shared breath longer.

The next breath tastes a bit like freedom. It's scary to be free.

(But Tae leaves her 2 weeks' notice on her boss’s desk before the end of the next work day, and she doesn't feel bad about it one bit).

~-~

(1 year prior)

Maybe the truth is that the reason why you don’t feel you deserve agency is because you know what your agency looks like. The choices you’re willing to make when it comes down to it.

The secrets you tell and the lies you have buried deep in your pocket like one of Hobi’s found things. Something you can’t get rid of and cast back into the ocean. No matter how hard you try. There is something about murder that sticks, that stays no matter how many times you try to wash your hands of it.

It's not guilt, because you don't feel guilty for what you had to do.

Being backed into a corner can make someone do a whole hell of alot of monstrous things. And back then Life was monotonous. Back then there was Anguish without change.

Your life went like this: Go home. Get beaten. Get hurt. Get Raped. Wake up. Meet up with Hyejin. Make poison. Make pastries. Go to the Don’s house. Feed it to them. Listen to Moonbyul tell you to wait. Go home. Get beaten again and again. Get raped every night. On and on and on.

Clean up your blood from the tiles. Clean it from the carpet. Hydrogen peroxide and not bleach. Cover the bruises up with color corrector first before you put concealer over them.

Smile and tell everyone that your husband and you are perfectly happy. There will be a pup on the way soon enough, I'm so lucky to have someone who supports me, and I'm so lucky to have a love like this.

Go home. Get beaten. Get hurt. Get Raped. Go to sleep and don't cry because then he'll beat you for keeping him awake.

In the darkness that curls around you. Blood going tacky between your legs, you start to dream of wicked sweet things.

What you've been through would be enough to make anyone go crazy, Enough to make anyone consider drastic action. Enough to make anyone consider murder.

Enough for you to slide a pair of small syringes off of Moonbyul’s night desk and a small packet of arsenic too. You know how to make a simple syrup. You know how to mix in arsenic to it, how to make it liquid soluble without breathing it in.

You make it in the fine china and break it after so that you can throw it out without worrying. You get a beating for it but you hardly feel it when Geumjae drags you across the floor by your hair. It hardly breaks your heart when he steps on your ribcage with the intent to break bones because you know what you have to do.

After, with your own blood on your teeth, you make sure to leave it in the bottom of the trash, and ask the cleaning staff not to take it out yet. They're supposed to find it.

You don't care if you die, you just want to make sure the necessary villains are punished. When it comes to blame the person who is most to blame is you anyway. You are simply numb to pain, numb to your own anguish. Numb to the idea of your own death too. Geumjae's already killed you in every way that matters.

Cut off a wolf's head and it still has the power to bite; give a girl an enemy and she'll do dangerous things.

Your meetings with the Don and beta always go the same; gossip, and greetings. Sometimes when you come bearing bruises, they tell you to wait just a little longer.

Go home. Get beaten. Get hurt. Get Raped. Wake up. Just give it time for his temper to settle. Once you're mated it will get better.

Even Moonbyul and Hyejin tell you that planning the perfect crime takes time. That you'll be saved if you only wait. Help is coming.

Bullshit.

You’re tired of waiting for him to kill you, you're tired of waiting to die. You're smarter than all of them because you know exactly how to get everything you want and you're willing to do anything to get it.

The next time Moonbyul and Hyejin take you to the Don and Beta’s house under the guise of afternoon tea, you are prepared for war and dressed with revenge in mind. Your white dress knotted at the shoulders falling in a heavenly sheet, like an avenging angel, neither pious nor sinful.

You are a force of nature and nature does not ask when it takes lives.

What’s worse; the people that enable the abusers or the abusers themselves? Who is more to blame for the pain caused?

You are no longer hiding and you won't let them hide this time. The bruise on your cheek is purple and mottled, the rings of bruises on your wrists from his hands while he held you down.

When you smiled at Geumjae over breakfast this morning, there was only one thought in your mind.

You’re next.

Your agency looks like this; elegantly done hair your skirt a little short for fall. A basket of arsenic-backed goods in a basket as is usual. Fluffy pink cupcakes with the perfect Swiss meringue buttercream in little spirals.

A gentle smile at the beta when she opens her doors for you, letting the monster in, because you’ve been over enough times that she trusts you. You suppose that's your doing too, you've fooled her into thinking you're just another idiot girl who decided to marry rich and didn't bother to consider the strings attached. A wolf in sheep’s clothing, you bare your teeth when you smile.

Hyejin has helped on that front; over the past few months, she has taught you exactly the kind of conversation that the beta likes- the useless conversations about family drama, the small little bits that you let through about your husband’s opinion on which pup is marrying whom, which alpha is good or bad for the packs near dozen omega pups that aren’t mated yet. Which alphas are likely to be a liability? This kind of gossip is all information and strategy.

You might have lied in your call to her and told her you were fearful of one of the younger ones- and a conversation you’d happened to witness on a street corner, a shadowy figure that looked a little too severe not to be the authorities. Of course, these kinds of things have to be handled with discretion and ginseng tea.

The Don does not bother to turn down the TV when you walk in, sitting vulnerable in his recliner with his feet up. It doesn’t appear that he has any sort of inclination or plans to interact with you when you sit here at his kitchen table and talk. Instead, he lounges and watches his sports, loud because his hearing is so bad, nearly deafening.

It’s good. hopefully anyone nearby will not overhear.

You hope that if this goes south before you have a chance to confess that they find the letter you wrote at home; the one that says your husband is the one that put you up to this.

You know that the pack’s retribution will be swift, that any sort of alibi he has will be null and void with the evidence you’ve been leaving. A little trail of breadcrumbs that leads right into a pretty little grave for your husband. Even if you won't be around to see it.

You're already a friend of pain. You already find comfort in it. If they kill you (which they will) then at least it will finally be over.

You wait until the moment you know is coming, when the Don looks over his shoulder at you and comands “Be a dear and bring me one.”

You put one of your artfully created confections on a pretty gold-rimed plate and walk to his side, you lean over to put it in his lap as he indicates. the same way he does every time you come over with sweets.

The lingering hand on your ass is hardly abnormal. behind you the beta's tea cup clinks as she sets her tea down and says nothing. even though you know she notices.

He’s so busy coping a feel he doesn’t notice your other hand, going to the syringe duck taped to your thigh.

It happens quicker than the Don can blink. The most powerful man in the underworld can't be bothered to protect his life for a pretty little piece of ass. You smile down at him, and his hand squeezes the round apple of your behind.

His hand is still on your ass when you whip your arm around with as much force as you can and drive the syringe and plunger into his neck.

You must have hit something in his neck because he barely has a second to splutter before he’s going still and quiet. Mouth falling horrifyingly slack. His breath rattles and his eyes dart as his whole body is paralyzed near instantly, in the time it takes for his blood to circulate.

Two paces, swing, plunge.

The beta barely has a second to scream or stand to attack you. You are so much younger than they are. Your body might be fragile and frail but It’s still stronger than hers. Her brief scream is easily drowned out by the scratch of the TV.

She ends up on the floor, the icing on the cupcakes sticky as she falls into half of them, tossed onto the floor by your brief tussle as you straddle her struggling form. Her pushing gets weaker and weaker and she sobs.

It doesn’t surprise you when you see the black tracery of a dying mating mark itching up her skin.

One thing that the family had always been oh so careful of was to talk only in their mother tongue around you. Secrets are best kept when they’re spoken in foreign tongues. It was a way to isolate you. To make them speak English for you to understand felt like a beholden request. At one point It was a point of insecurity for you, always left out of the loop, always relying on your husband to keep you in the know.

You bend over her as her pushing gets weaker and weaker, the arsenic doing its job, causing numbness and the tingling of extremities before it causes paralysis and then coma and death. Your hair falls in a sheet over the beta’s face.

You’ve studied much over the last few months. Enough that you lean in close over her and speak your words in perfect Korean.

“You look so angry,” you croon softly, dragging a finger down her cheek. Spittle froths at her mouth as she breathes heavily. “You shouldn’t- if you want someone to blame you only need to look in the mirror.”

You lean in close until your lips brush her ear, “it's your fault you see- you're the one who lied" you mimic her voice, making it scratchy, "'just wait a little longer, it will be better for the family if you stay quiet." you laugh, "as if that where true, the only person it benefits is you. You where ready to let him hurt me and kill me if i just stayed quiet."

You wipe away a bit of spit from her lower lip, "You always told me how it was your duty to protect the family- but you only serve yourself. If you'd have done something, if you'd have helped me I wouldn't have had to do this. You just wanted me to shut up and die quietly.”

You switch back to English, “Well now it’s your turn.”

You watch her tongue go numb, paralyzed, but the poison hasn’t advanced far enough for her not to speak.

“Fucking- worthless bitch.”

You laugh and stand brushing some crumbs from your skirt. She’s already too weak to move, to shout, or fight you. You watch the light start to leave her eyes, winking out so slowly, like a dying star. But she still looks so pissed.

“You don’t have a right to be angry, you killed me first. You can’t blame me for fighting back.”

She gives her last breath and the TV plays on. Your shoe ticks her hand, her fingers twitching weakly. You watch as she gasps her last breath, a small smile on your face.

You sit at the table and turn the TV down. You wait a few minutes, but it quickly becomes an hour. You have yourself a nice little treat while you watch, turning the channel to a food network while you eat.

You really are a fantastic cook. The crumb on this batch is so nice you don’t even taste the metallic tang of poison. You eat through one, and then another, until the whole basket is empty.

Before you know it there is a concerned knock at the door. The lock clicks and turns when you answer it.

When Moonbyul opens the door, you laugh at the expression on her face. Licking the frosting from your lips. Even that is delicious.

She takes in their bodies, crumpled on the floor the frosting on your cheeks. The evidence. Both of them dying. A violence you cannot undo.

Her voice is somber. “Oh Pup, what have you done?”

~-~

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~-~

Notes:

this chapter is a very classic bily chapter, in the fact that there is a fuck ton of fluff and then bang the mafia bits just take you out. we needed to get back into the mafia bits of the story sooner rather than later though 💀

i felt like i was going a little too over the top with certain bits of puptalk in this chapter, but i really wanted to use it to show that like yeah- the pack has been treating her alot more gently since her breakdown, they've been babbying the fuck out of her, even if we don't get to see it :(

Hobi's texts are so???? Fucking cute?? He's so hopeless my god he wants to make her feel loved without actually saying it and i hope you read them and just go "oh, you're an idiot."

I have this whole elaborate backstory to how wonho's gym works with monthly subscriptions to classes where people can decide how many classes they want to take a week, ie gym dues for facilities and then discounted classes on top if they pay for it before hand, with several tiers.

this chapter almost feels clerical- this is definitely more of a set up chapter- where i needed to check off a lot of boxes, like hobi's courting present- before we go any further into the story. things are going to start amping up in terms of stakes pretty quickly.

That one part, where hobi is kinda malfunctioning after the m/c touches his cheek and everyone teases him feels the most representative of the pack as a whole. like that part where they're all replying- feels very real. i struggle a little to capture a sense of domesticity in concise ways, but i think this part is very tidy.

That little touch with hobi- where he touches her wrist and her finger, that touch has so much weight to it, i personally think the whole pack was tasting the sexual tension on the air, can you guys feel it too or is it all in my head?

idk why yoongi calling tae babygirl makes me so flustered but it does 🥵

i really wanted to work calling tae mommy into the chapter someway but tbh this chapter felt complex enough without it.

there is like- one plot hole in this whole story, and that is in the first chapter of the story when yoongi gets a call the person on the other line says "grandfather is dying." implying that his death wasn't instantaneous like this is shown to be. however, in my mind- the injections don't actually kill the don and beta but plunge them into a coma that they never wake up from- is this an actual possibility with arsenic poisoning- NO IT ISN'T lol, you're just going to have to suspend your disbelief for me.

the m/c has always been the person who killed the don and the beta- i've known this since like...maybe the 4th chapter? it wasn't in the og og plan for the story but almost everything in bily has been hammered out since then. and tbh you already knew she killed them just not that it was this violent! does this count as a secret???? idk! maybe!!!

she's a little murder baby just like minnie <3

[dirtybitfic]

Here for a good time not a long time

Matt Sturniolo X y/n

contains - party , drinking , smutt, dom matt, choking, slapping, dirty talk, pet names(sweetheart, baby, slut, whore)

Y/n pov-

I was sitting in my last lecture of the day when I got a text from my friend about a party in the woods tonight. I obviously agreed to go since I had nothing else to do tonight .

Once my boring ass professor ended class I drove back to my house that I share with my best friend and two other friends . I entered into pure chaos the second I opened the door.

Hey y/n how was class my best friend Ally said as I set my bag down

Boring as always ... what the fuck is going on in here I ask as I look around to see clothes scattered across the furniture and my other friend Mara running from her room back to the bathroom .

We're all trying to find outfits for tonight and we're stressing out she answers as I see her pull out mouse ears.

What... why and what are the ears for? I ask in pure confusion. Its never calm in this house but this is a whole new level of chaotic.

Oh did you not see the theme for the party Mara says as she comes out dressed like a bunny .

No what is it ? I ask as I start to panic knowing I probably have nothing to wear either.

Predator and prey ... girls are supposed to dress as the prey obviously she says pointing to her outfit doing a little spin.

Fuck ... I definitely don't have an outfit for this shit I sigh as I walk to my room deciding to look through my closet.

I looked through and found an outfit that could work .

Okay guys what about this outfit I can be a deer? I ask nervously hoping they'd like it .

Ally , Mara and haley look at me studying me making me nervous.

You know what I like it Haley says as she smiles

Yeah me to mara says as she nods in approval.

Wait I think I might actually have deer antlers you can wear Ally says as she scrambles to her room.

Im questioning why she would own antlers but you know what they are coming in handy so Im happy about it.

Okay yep here they are she says as she hands them to me .

Thanks but why do you even have these I ask as I put them on.

Oh I went as a deer to a halloween party freshman year and just never got rid of them she answers with a smile before pouring herself a shot.

Ally was a bunny, Mara was a mouse and Haley was a sheep .

I honestly don't know what to expect with this party tonight since the fraternity thats throwing it is more on the bad boy side . Almost every guy in this group is covered in tattoos and peircings which I find hot as fuck but some others disagree. These guys's parties compared to the other frats are always out of the ordinary but thats what keeps things interesting.

Okay guys we got like 20 minutes before we need to get going haley says as she starts pouring herself a drink.

We turn on some music and dance around in the living room as we take shots and sip on drinks.

The 20 minutes rolled by quickly and we are all now making our walk to the woods for there party. I know having party in the woods might sound weird but its actually pretty fun here. Our college is located in outside of a city in Pennsylvania meaning we're surrounded by woods.

Guys I don't know why but i'm getting a very weird feeling Mara says as we start getting closer to the woods .

Im glad you said that cause ... I am to Ally says in a slightly wobbly tone.

Guys we're fine we drank a lot so maybe its just the alcohol I say trying to reason with how they're feeling

They all laugh and agree with me after realizing how drunk we really are.

We finally reach the opening path that leads down a dark trail to where the party clearing is .

We all take out our phone using our flashlights to see as we stumble into trees and each other giggling .

The closer we get music begins to flood our ear and light from the campfire comes into view.

We enter the clearing entering the crowd of people and making our way over to the line of tree stumps you can sit on by the fire.

We all sit down and take a look around to see all the guys in black hoodies and sweats holding animal masks. Predator animal masks making me gulp. I start to get a weird feeling when the leader of the frat stands on a big tree stump and yelling for everyone to pay attention.

We all go quiet as we wait of him to speak.

Okay you're all probably wondering about the theme right? he asks with a large smirk . All of the girls nod since all of the guys obviously know .

well we decided it would to change things up and ... play a little game she says as he jumps down from the stump smirking and looking around the crowd at all of our confused faces.

Another guy jumps up and I have to keep my jaw from dropping. He is the most attractive man i've ever seen , Tall with blue eyes and brown hair . I stand there in a trance until I snap out of it as he starts to speak

As you can see all of you girls are dressed and animals of prey he says moving his hand motioning to the crowd . Me and my friends share glances sharing looks of annoyance just wanting him to get to the fucking point.

and us guys all have masks of predator animals he says holding up his mask . I look at his mask noticing it's a wolf .

he smiles as he meets eyes with me making me gulp.

We will be matching a girl to a guy based on their natural predator and prey ... and you girls will be given 10 minutes to run and hide and if you are found by your predator we will be mmm let's just say our way with you . he says smirking .

So i'll give any of you girls the chance to leave right now if you do not wish to play this game . There is no shame in leaving I understand this might not be some peoples taste and thats okay I can see a glimmer in his eye as he watches me waiting to see if i'll leave .

I look over at my friends who look apprehensive about the situation.

I don't know about this guys mara says as she turns to look at the way we came in .

Yeah I just... this is not what I was expecting I mean... they obviously mean sexual shit and I don't think I want that haley says as she steps closer to mara.

Me and ally look at each other with a knowing look silently agreeing were staying.

We're gonna stay i'm kind of intrigued about how this will go but we understand if you wanna go I answer and smile at them letting them know we aren't judging them for wanting to leave.

okay well we'll see you guys at home okay be safe please

just text us when your on your way home so we know your alive

we will see you guys at home love you ally answers and I say I love you before they head back down the path we entered through.

About 15 other girls left leaving only about 20 of us left.

Okay now that all the pussys are gone lets get started matching up and then ill explain the rules he says with a wide smile that sends chills down my back.

Me and Ally laugh at the fact he called the girls who left pussys and waited for him to continue.

Okay james , Max and Atlas are fox so any of you who are a bunny raise your hand .Ally raises her hand as do two other girls .

Ally is Matched with the guy who's name is Atlas . I have to say he's hot as fuck he has tan skin covered in tattoos, sandy blond hair and light green eyes. I smile at her nervously as she stands next to him.

He gets through everyone else before i'm the last girl unmatched.

You're with me sweetheart he says as he smirks at me motioning me to him . I gulp as I slowly make my way to him.

I step up to his side and notice how significantly taller he is then me .

he looks down at me smirking then looks back at the crowd .

so here are the rules he says as his hand snakes around my side pulling me closer making my breathe hitch. All you girls will have ten minutes to run and hide ... after those ten minutes we will make our way out to try and find you . When we find you we will be able to do anything we want to you ... sexually . Im guessing everyone of you who stayed understood what I was insinuating but just do be safe I need you to confirm to your partner that we have your consent before start the timer.

I watch as the other girls turn and nod smiling giving consent

I swallow thickly as I look up at him and he smiles down at me .

so do I have your consent he asks as he bends down a bit to be closer to my face

yes you have my consent I say with a smile

just so I can gage what you like real quick ... do you like things rough and hard or soft and slow he whispers in my ear making me whimper .

mm rough and hard I say as a smirk plays on my lips . He groans as he looks into my eyes.

Good thats music to my ears he smirks as he stand back to his full height

wait ... I don't even know your name I say softly making him look back down at me .

Its matt and what's yours he asks

Y/n I smile back

Beautiful name he smiles down at me making me blush

Thank you Matt I say and then he turns back to the crowd starting to speak again.

Okay ladies step up behind the stump and stand at the tree line he says . He looks down at me smiling and taps my Sade then let's go letting me make my way to the tree line . Me and Ally stay next to each other .

She grabs my hand and I look at her

We run together okay and then well split apart when we find a good spot to hide she says obviously knowing were both scared of the dark and neither of us want to run alone in the dark ass woods.

Agreed its dark as fuck out there I say motioning to the woods were about to enter.

Okay i'm going to count down from three ... you guys ready? he asks and I look back at him nodding .

3... 2...1! he yells and we all take off going in different directions.

Me and Ally and running getting smacked left and right by tree branches and plants . The moon light is enough to let us see a little bit but not enough to avoid getting smacked by shit around us.

Hold up i'm getting tired lets slow down for one second I say as we slow to a fast paced walk as were both breathing hard.

God it got kinda cold she says and she shivers

yeah my nipples could literally cut through this shirt right now I say making us both laugh .

after catching our breathe we start sprinting again .

why are we running 10 minutes is actually a lot of time ally says out of breathe again.

okay you actually have a good point I say back as I slow my pace but smack my side into a tree making me cry out in pain.

Fuck fuck oh my god that actually really hurt I cry but also cant stop laughing

thats gonna leave a nasty bruise ally laughs making me laugh harder.

One thing about me and ally is we can never be serious any any situation .

We should definitely start trying to find somewhere to hide ally says as she realizes we probably don't have much time left . We start walking until ally finds a large fallen tree to sit behind .

Im gonna go closer to the cliff seems like a safe spot I tell her before hugging her wishing her good luck.

I make my way through the woods following the sounds of water . One thing I love about this part of Pennsylvania is the cliffs something about them is just so beautiful especially at night.

I finally make in to the cliff side and find a large rock to sit in front of and sit quietly looking out at the sky . The full moon shining down as the starts beam around the dark sky . It's so beautiful I almost forget why i'm out here.

Im snapped out of the trance i'm in when I hear a girl scream in the distance making my entire body jolt.

The tension is slowly building as I sit . My heart is starting to race and my legs shake a bit causing leaves under then to shake a bit making me grab the trying to stop them from making any noise that can be detected.

I try and control my breathing to slow my heart when I hear branches snap close by and leaves rustling as someone or something .

the rustling gets closer and I hold my breathe when all of the sudden a red fox appears next to me only a couple inches away.

It looks at me as if its curious I so badly want to reach my hand out and pet it but I choose not too since I don't exactly want to get bitten and end up in a hospital with I don't even know what.

I watch carefully as it inches closer to me sniffing the air i'm guessing it is picking up my scent. It steps even closer not right by my leg its tail grazing my skin tickling me making me want to laugh but I hold it back so I one don't get found and to not scare the fox.

It makes noise almost as if its laughing scaring me a little bit but it rubs on my shoes shocking the absolute fuck out of me because its obviously wild but I let it happen .

I whisper hi baby in the softest voice as It looks back at me but runs away when it hears a deep voice say " hello" making me jump up with a scream.

"JESUS FUCKING CHRIST" I yell as my hand flys over my heart and I bend over panting.

He walks closer making me look back up at him .

I would say i'm sorry for scaring you but... I'm not Matt says with a dark smirk making me gulp .

he steps closer making me back into the rock I had been hiding behind.

your so beautiful sweetheart he whispers to me as his hand slides up my arm making me shiver and whisper a thank you.

come with me he says as he grabs my hand leading me back into the woods.

we walk until we find another clearing where another part of the cliff side is with a much flatter surface.

we walk around a tree and their was a blanket layer out on the rocky ground making me smile and look at him.

I just thought I would make it a little more comfortable than fucking you on a jagged rock or against a tree he says with a shrug

I appreciate that I say with a smile

The sweet moment is gone in second when his large hand wraps around my throat and he pulls me into him as his lips hover by my ear sending shiver down my spine.

im going to make you feel really good sweetheart does that sound good to you he whispers in a deep gravely tone making me whimper as his grip tightens on my neck .

I nod my head answering in a shake out of breathe tone y-yes

mm good girl he says as his lips attach to mine is a deep lustful kiss that has me moaning into his mouth.

his free hand comes to my head pulling off my antlers and throwing them down onto the ground then its on my ass grabbing it roughly making me whimper.

he pulls away as he looks into my eyes with a smirk on his face that has my pussy clenching around nothing.

strip he says in a gravelly voice making me immediately tear off my top and skirt leaving me in only a thong the cold air making me shiver and my nipples to literally harden so much they feel like rocks.

god your perfect he groans as he takes in my figure making me feel nervous .

He smiles at me as he pulls me to him again then walking us back to the blanket and slowly lays me down .

I groan when my back hits a sharp rock thats under the blanket

he slowly lowers himself to be between my thighs as his fingers loops around the band of the thong and slowly pulls them off setting it a side .

So wet for me he groans as he takes in the view of my glistening entrance.

I gasp when is mouth meets my pussy and he licks and sucks expertly in all the right spots .

f-fuck oh my god I whine as my legs start to tremble slightly from the pleasure i'm in.

yeah that feel good he asks before going right back to it.

ugh fuck yes I cry out as he sucks on my clit and slips a finger into my entrance heightening the pleasure more than I ever thought possible.

I grab onto his hair pulling it making him groan into me causing me to moan loudly and buck my hips.

fuck -fuck oh m-my g--od i moan and gasp as I feel my orgasm getting closer.

come on slut cum for me I can feel you pulsing he says into my pussy as he sucks harder and his finger speeds up making my legs shake harder and I cry out as my orgasm rips through me and my juices flow out onto his finger and he laps them up easing me through my orgasm.

i'm honestly shocked he made me finish most guys cant especially not from head but that was fucking amazing .

fuck you're really good at that I pant as he comes up and hovers over me as his chain dangles in my face.

yeah? he asks in a teasing tone making me flush red .

mhm I say as I look into his eyes and move my hands to the base of his shirt tugging signaling I wanna take it off . He lets me slide it off and I put it beside us as my hands run down his warm skin.

he groans as his hands glide over my bare body making me sigh in contentment. His hands move to his belt as he unbuckles it and sets it aside than slips his pants off . I watch in awe of the way his muscles move as he undresses the rest of the way.

My eyes shift down to the large bulge in his boxers making me gulp . He's big like really fucking big . He notices by unease and grabs my chin making me look at him.

You'll be okay I promise he soothe me as his thumb traces my bottom lip. I nod at his statement taking a deep calming breath.

He slides his boxers down as his dick slaps his stomach and my eye widen I know this is gonna hurt like a bitch. Don t get me wrong i've had sex just not with anyone this big before.

He spits on the tip and for some reason its the hottest thing i've ever seen . I watch as he he spread it around then he comes back over me as his tip meet my entrance.

You good he asks waiting for my answer before he makes a move to put it in.

I nod my head

words baby he says in a sweet tone making me blush.

ye-yes i'm good I answer

he nods as his tip slides in making me suck in a breathe.

he not only long but also thick .

Fuck so fucking tight he groans as he pushes into me more.

I whimper at the stretching feeling and my eyes squeeze tightly shut.

I know sweetheart I know im going as slow as I can he says .

After a couple long painful seconds he's bottomed out . Over never felt so full in my life. He starts to slowly thrust in and out making me whine and put my hand on his chest pushing him away .

He grabs my hand and holds it down by my head.

I know it hurts but do not push me away he says in a assertive tone making me immediately apologize .

He continues thrusting slowly and the pain finally goes away and I cant help the moans that escape my mouth.

fuck oh my - f-faster please I whine and he immediately does what I ask.

His tip hits my g-spot with each thrust making me cry out repeatedly

fuck you think you can handle it rough hmm he asks in a breathy tone that has my eyes rolling back and my back arching.

I nod my head and he grabs my throat roughly .

use your words when I ask you a question y/n he growls making me moan.

y-yes fuck I can handle it I moan as my stomach starts to feel pressure signaling another orgasm is close.

He starts pounding me rough and hard making me scream out.

OH FUCK M-MATT I scream as my hands move to his back and my nails drag down making him groan and pound me even harder.

such a good fucking whore taking me so well he groans as he lightly slaps me making me cry out.

My legs start shaking and I cant help but scream his name as I cum around him . His pace doesn't slow one bit he continues pounding into me making me smack his bicep repeatedly .

f-fuck I c-cant I whine as my hands come to his stomach as I try to push him away.

he slaps me making me cry out in pain .

Put your fucking hands down he growls and I move them reluctantly .

good girl now take it he groans as one of his hands move to my clit rubbing fast circles making me scream . My hands move as I go to grab his wrist but I stop myself knowing hell just get mad.

you're gonna cum for me again like a good little slut he says as he angles his hips to perfectly hit my g spot making my entire body tremble .

n-no I cant I whine as tears well up in my eyes from how over stimulated i'm becoming from the overwhelming pleasure i'm in .

No ... oh sweetheart your gonna need to learn to do what I tell you too he says as he grips my throat roughly and swiftly lifts my legs onto his shoulder moving his body fully over mine so my legs are pressed into my chest.

He pounds into me so roughly i scream and my hips lift off my ground completely . He just grabs my waist continuing to pound me into oblivion .

I scream as another orgasm rips through me and my hearing goes out as my body shakes and my hands fist .

Good girl thats it he groans as he fucks me through my orgasm and my hips fall back to the ground .

He pulls out and flips me over onto my hand and knees .

Arch your back for me baby he says as his hands moves over my ass cheeks giving them a squeeze.

I arch the best I can and he shoves back into me making me gasp and bounce back into him.

He slaps my ass enough time to leave hand prints on each cheek .

he grabs my hips and pounds into me harder making me scream and my hand flys back to grab his wrist .

FUCK FUCK SO FUCKING DEEP I scream as he hits so deep I can feel him bulging inside of me .

yeah you feel how deep I am he asks in a dark tone as one of his hands moves to my lower stomach and presses onto where hes bulging in me making me cry out .

Im moaning and shaking under him as I bury my face in the blanket .

who's fucking pussy is this he ask as he slaps my ass .

I croak out a "yours" but with my face buried in the blanket he didn't hear it.

He grabs me by my hair pulling my face up .

who pussy is this he demands in a deep raspy tone

yours I whimper out

louder slut

Y-YOURS IT YOURS I scream out as I cum all over his dick again and my legs give out and they shake uncontrollably .

He move with me continuing to pound into me rough and deep.

Thats right all fucking mine he groans as he starts to loose his rhythm .

I know he getting close and I couldn't be more happy about it . Im so overstimulated I cant even form words anymore . Im whimpering and gasping as his his start too sputter and he groans loudly .

Fuck gonna fucking fill this pussy up he groans as he grips my hair tighter .

F-fuck p-please I whine as I push my ass into him .

yeah you want me to breed this little pussy he groans as his dick twitches and his breathing becomes loud .

I clench around him from his words nodding my head over and over

y-yes yes fuck please I want it so bad.

oh fuck he groans as him hips snap into me and I feel his cum filling me up.

He slowly thrusts a couple time before sliding out and flopping beside me on the blanket.

Our breathing is heavy and loud both exhausted from the events.

Wow that was the best sex- ive ever had he says with a smile as he looks over at me .

Same that was so fucking good I say as I smile back at him.

we lay catching our breathes looking at each other smiling.

Its fucking cold I say making him laugh

Yeah it is he agrees as he grabs his boxers and throwing them on.

He rolls me over as he uses his shirt to shirt to wipe me clean making me smile.

He helps me get my outfit back on then pick me up as I keep the blanket wrapped around me .

Piggy back? he asks making me laugh .

I nod my head . My legs are not working so well right now .

He bends down and I hop on as I wrap my arm around him making the blanket now cover both of us .

he starts walking back to where we started as I rest my head in the crook of his neck .

I need you to know that your mine now there is no way i'm letting you go after tonight he says making me smile .

I think I could be okay with that I say placing a small his on his neck making him smile

good he says back as we walk out of the woods and back into the area with the logs and campfire still burning .

I spot ally and dear god she's been though it . Her hair is disheveled her makeup smudged everywhere and she's wearing the guys sweatshirt .

wait go over to ally she's my friend I tell Matt and he immediately heads over to her .

He sets me down next to her and she smiles at me .

Jesus you look like shit she jokes with me making me laugh.

I could say the same to you I joke back as we giggle .

You going home or... she asks smiling at me

I down know... am I I ask looking at Matt next to me

he smiles before answering

yeah ... but with me he smirks as I blush and look at ally who's already smiling ear to ear.

well then I guess I will see you tomorrow ?

mhm I smile as I shake my head

she gives me a hug as she says bye .

Me and Matt make our way back to through the path out of the woods and he leads me to a white convertible mustang .

wow nice fucking car I say as he opens the door for me

thank you he says as he helps me in the car then shuts the door and gets in starting up the car then starting a playlist and pulls out of the spot and onto the road.

1.23.23 by Dominic like plays as we drive though the dark night streets and after a couple minutes we pull up to a gate and he presses a button and it opens .

I watch as light posts pass by up a long driveway up to a large house actually mansion . He parks behind a fountain in the middle of the circular driveway.

He Gets out and comes to open my door .

We make our way up to the large front door as he uses his key to unlock it .

come on gorgeous I think we both need a hot shower he says leading me up a long grand stair case then another one to the 3rd floor .

We make it all the way down the hallways to a large door at the end .

He uses another key to unlock this door and make his way in with me following behind .

My jaw drops as I look around at the huge room .

damn this is nice as fuck I say as I walk around taking in the surroundings .

yeah its a bit... extra but im not complaining .

shit I wouldn't complain either I mean your room is the size of my entire apartment

he laughs as he leads me to the bathroom

he starts the shower and helps me undress then undresses himself .

We take a hot ass shower and he rises me down . I smell like man but I don't care i'm just sappy I'm clean and warm .

After the shower he puts me in one of his sweatshirts and we get into bed .

We lay their cuddling as he plays with my hair . I start to drift in and out as he kisses my forehead and I smile as I nuzzle into his chest more .

good night little deer he say as I fade into sleep .

This is for the anon who requested another story like my other one Hallowseve.

Sorry this took so long I had so much shit going on these past weeks

💋❤️

Taglist- ( If anyone wants to be added to the tallest please let me know I never know if some people only wanted to be tagged in specific series I was writing or like for every story I write so just let me know)

@junnniiieee07 , @riasturns , @lexisecretaccx

[tiyoin]

Taking a step back from twisted singer reader (I'll be back). I really want to expand/give origins ideas to the group chat(s?). Like how reader got the phone, how they got added and other things. Btw love who added that

With that said I'm starting a new agenda: ✨Grandfather Mozus Trein :D✨ Everyone knows that Crowley is *cough* neglectful & irresponsible *cough* always there for his students and never once put himself first 🤠. I feel like reader low-key reminds Trein of Anastasia (red hair) ya know? Maybe it's how reader plays with their hair when they start getting bored or the doodles on the written exams. All these little habits they share. Just an old man missing his family.

Someone has to be a responsible adult for reader and who else is better then a father with so much wisdom. He knows Yuu has a way of communicating and protecting himself so he isn't as concerned ,but poor reader can't do that to save their life :(

So I can see Trein giving them(mostly reader) a phone (B4 book 4). It's nothing new or special; it has an old blue case with a fading pattern and skuffs. The best part about it is Trein paying the bill. The wallpaper is changed to Grimm napping tho

It's kinda an unspoken rule that reader keeps it for the most part. With Yuu and all the things he tends to get into it would last a week if he was lucky.

More then likely the only numbers in the phone are Aduce/ maybe the other first years and Trein ,but I don't really see any of them be texters tbh. So not much coming in. Maybe a few homework questions??

As for apps a see maybe 2-ish games 👁️👄➖

Over all, it's just a classic antisocial person's phone. Until Cater finds out. Next time Yuu has the phone Carter tells him what should be added and how to #sign up for them. And Yuu being the person he is asks "Cater how do I help my introvert make friends?" Cater being the #helpful upperclassmen is he downloads the app and sends the invite.

The app they use is probably the twst discord. I think that's the only social idia has/honestly uses Some of them has like a cover for the icon. Like no one can know they use that app for whatever reason.

Everyone besides reader kinda knows what account belongs to which person. To add a bit of anonymous(ness?). Cuz no way would reader give her honest opinion about Rook or someone else if she knew that they themselves/close friends are in the chat.

Imagine if one of the guys that reader doesn't get along with ends up being one of reader's close/safe online friend. Like idk if you know who Aphmau is but she has a Minecraft roleplay PDH (don't judge me plss) where Aph and Aaron don't like each other irl but are really close online friends.

I'm sorry if my asks tend to be all over the place. I get sided tracked a lot and end up spacing out every 10 works. This was written between 3-5ish am. Also 👉👈 I think the reason we're on the same brain wave is cuz we're air signs.

Also thank you for liking/replying to my ask/yapping ☺️ it's means a lot to me

I've been waiting to get a Mac charger just to answer this ask🤭

GRANDFATHER TREIN IS SOMETHING I DID NOT KNOW I NEEDED BUT GLAD I GOT

because we always see crewel v crowley for custody over yuu.

but I defiantly agree with you that trein would see one of his daughters; especially anastasia in reader. whether it's by a few habits they both share, or how they're sometimes second fiddle to their more out going companion. but trein can see reader's life falling into shambles the more they're in twisted wonderland, the more they're isolated, and it kills him as both a father and educator.

and believe it or not, he cares about his students. they may not think so and curse him in the hallways, but they'll be thanking him in years to come, they always do (he prides himself in that, and the line of students he has at reunions telling him they're the best teacher they ever had.)

so maybe he pulls reader aside after class, ofc he can tell how tense they are, how nervous they are... especially by how intense their eye contact is, a little creepy but trein understands. he tells them to sit down in a chair he magically spawned as he flicks his head at lucien. who is all too glad to use you as a chair. he can see reader visibly relax as they're testing the water's with the temperamental feline, but trein starts talking.

he wants to help them, as he wouldn't be doing his job as an educator if he just stood by and watched you struggle. how he would have failed the pledge he made to crowley and himself if he let one os his students fall under the radar in favor for his smarter ones.

yes that should sting but it's the truth, and to no fault of your own. you obviously had... less than stupor teaching before this, and you have to catch up on a decades worth of stuff due to your... situation. and he is willing to help you during both lunch hours and free period. he also recommends student tutors for this and is willing to work out some kind of deal between you and the tutors. he wants to see you succeed. not just to prove he can turn a pumpkin into a carriage, but because you deserve it.

maybe you're not so much like his biological daughter, but like his step daughter. the one with a soul of diamond but a heart of glass. and if reader ever needs someone trustworthy (and he emphasizes this) that isn't actively split-dying their hair in their thirties or prances around with a bird mask then he is always open.

no matter how burdenous they feel relying on him, or if they think the matters are silly. he will tell it to them straight. he also suggests talking to cater diamond of heartslabyul, that if anyone can help you make friends, its that chatterbox.

dont even try to refute it cause trein AND lucien will be sporting you an unimpressed look.

but I swear to everything cater has a fucking NOSE- a sniffer if you would for introverts. or he has mastered chenya's invisibility spell and over heard your conversation because- I AGREE WITH YOU- yuu would 100% ask cater to help his little ol' introvert make friends.

so he seeks them out, grabs their phone while chatting away, and downloads 'magi cord' dw yuu is there too. cater even goes a step further and adds his contact to their phone because 'tehe he has the elusive reader's number and no body else does! #1inamillion #hewon! #he'sgonnaextrovertsohardit'llmakeyourheadspin 😼

but later that night you're fighting to go on the app when cater sends you a link, the second message he sends you (with 'hey hey! it's your fav upper classmen cay-cay here!' with an obnoxious amount of emojis, being the first)

it's a link to a magi cord group chat called; raven of secrets. (or smthn idk, I pulled that out of my ass) and he explains that the whole point of that group chat is to remain anonymous. there's a handful of members from different dorms and that's all you're supposed to know.

they talk about gossip, homework, assignments etc. the more he talks about it the more it sounds like a secret society. but nonetheless, you join.

and all hell breaks loose 🤭

personally I think that only a few people know who is who in the chat group. like the organizer because they gotta make sure everyone who has the link is an nrc student. and obviously there's a few friends who gave other people the link or joined together. but there's also active polls where people debate who is who.

just so it gives them the extra comfort of anonymity.

IMAGINE SOME ADMITS TO STALKING POOR READER AND IT TURNS INTO A THRILLER AHHHH (everyone knows who rook is. not because of his French, but because of his detailed posts)

--

NO CAUSE I WAS ALSO AN APHMAU FAN HAHAHAH I used to eat her role plays up. but watching them now... they're super cringe and I can barely watch an episode of phoenix drop high 😭

and dont even worry about it 'being all over the place because I am literally like that and it's so fun being able to bounce all over the place hehe

AND YAY ANOTHER AIR SIGN😽

[atinylittlepain]

Apothecary - chapter nine

joel miller x witchy!reader

series masterlist

ring around the moon, trouble coming soon.

warnings | 18+ smut, ANGST - i'm not going to spoil anything but fr shit gets real and very sad here so please take care

wordcount: 5K ish

a/n | i am so nervous to share this chapter. listen, this was a very difficult chapter for me to write. i have to thank @beskarandblasters for holding my hand and keeping my secret through it. all i can say is, it hurt me as much as i imagine it might hurt you and i am truly sorry. this is where the progression of the plot dictated me to go. as mentioned, this is the last chapter for a while, but there is much much more to come once i return in august. my inbox is always open, come tell me what you think <3

........................................

“I think Ellie was disappointed.”

“Why d’you think that?” “I don’t know, I think she was expecting a little more razzle-dazzle.” Joel chuckles at that, pulling her closer into his side on the couch and landing a kiss to the top of her head. The fire crackles and pops, the glow of the fireplace crawling up the walls of the living room, hazy and golden. 

“Should’ve done that little candle trick, darlin. Kid’s eyes would’ve popped out of her head.” 

“Pfft, I’m pretty sure your eyes almost popped out of your head when I showed it to you.” They share a quiet laugh, settling down into each other, the warmth from the fireplace melting muscle and bone into an easy tangle. It’s the last night of Samhain, a time, she had explained to Joel, to burn away the passing year before the darkness of winter settles in. While Ellie had been excited for the late night fire, she had seemed a bit unsatisfied with how simple and quiet the whole thing had been, excusing herself with a dramatic yawn to her room in the outfitted garage. But Joel doesn’t mind if it means that he gets a little more time with his woman just to himself.

“So, was this a good, um– is holiday the right word?” Though he feels a bit foolish asking it, she just smiles, tilting her chin up at him from where she’s resting against his chest. 

“Holiday works, yeah. And this was the best one I’ve had in a while.”

“Really?” Her smile broadens, nodding at his question.

“Mmhmm, because I got to share it with you and Ellie.” He may not understand all of it, the traditions and history, how any of it can even be real, but what he does know is that it means something for her to share this with him, with them. 

“I’m glad that you did, darlin, and I know Ellie is too. I– thank you.” Her brow quirks at that, leaning back to fully look at him.

“What’re you saying thank you for?” 

“I don’t know– everything. Just, thank you.” He does know, his mind rolling through memories. He could thank her for taking Ellie under her wing, keeping her out of trouble and getting her excited about something. He could thank her for being patient with him, being honest with him, giving him a second chance and then some when he first tried to figure her out. He could thank her for moving in with him, for waking up next to him every morning, for taking his hand in hers whenever they walk through town. He could thank her for that first time they met, how she whirled around him, all warmth and no pretense, so easily letting herself into the small pinprick of light that was his world. He could thank her for a lot of things, but the language fails him, so he settles for everything, sealing his words with a slanted kiss as she twists in his hold to deepen it. 

He feels like a teenager again with how bad he wants her all the time, pushing and pulling to get her splayed out on the living room rug, the fire casting a radiant waltz over every new inch of skin he reveals. When he tugs her jeans down her hips, hands a greedy drag, she huffs out a laugh that draws his attention back up to her face.

“You’re very insistent tonight.” She says it with a quirked grin, head tilted to look at him where he’s kneeling between her legs. His heart catches at the sight of her, shirt discarded, bare from the waist up, her jeans still halfway down her legs, hair wild and lips darkened by his kisses. And suddenly his insistence turns a little quicker, a little headier, a little darker, not giving her any answer but pulling her pants off the rest of the way before settling back between her thighs, his open mouth dragging up soft skin before hovering over the faded cotton of her panties, her hips jolting with each of his hot exhales. 

He can’t tear his eyes away from her, propped up on her elbows to look at him, brows pinched at the way he ghosts his lips over her, nosing at her clit through thin fabric. He’s never wanted anyone like this, so unconditionally, however he can, in whatever way he can, a surrender so complete it scares him. But getting her like this, sighing for him, whispering his name, it’s enough for him to give it all up to her, more than willingly. 

When he finally stops teasing her, getting her completely bare for him, giving her his mouth in the way he knows she wants it, it’s like the sweetest prayer, every sigh a sacrament, her fingers threading through his hair to guide him a holy hail. The woman he worships and the pleasure he provides. He indulges in her, a delicate devouring of her, licking into her before nosing up until his lips drag over her clit, tongue finding that spot, a persistent press. He knows every moan, every jolting muscle, every crumbling exhale, another piece of her he gets to hold.  

Her heel digs into his shoulder blade, knee bent and askew as she tenses all at once, hips canting up into his mouth, before going slack with a ragged breath of his name, a brilliant vision of release. A kiss to her hip bone, one to her heaving stomach, the valley of her breasts, the curve of her chin before he stops at her lips, both of them insistent in their shared tangle. 

Where he worships, she wills, hands moving with certainty, working him out of his clothes until his skin can press against hers. The heat from the still-blazing fire sets sweat beading, cheeks flushed in warmth as they move together.

“So good like this, darlin. My woman, mine.” Her back arches up, the peaks of her breasts drawn taut against his skin where they’re pressed together, humid and hazy, all heat, all need. She’s perfect around him, cunt swollen and dripping as his hips spear into hers, her heel an insistent press into his ass. Stay here, be mine, stay here, I’m yours. 

He ducks his head down, skin pulling away with a smarting stick they’ve started to sweat so much, his teeth catching on the curve of her breast, her cry washing over him when he bites down.

“Joel.” There it is, long and raspy, the only way he likes to hear his name, dripping with need, slipping down her throat. The slap of skin, the salacious sound of her cunt taking him again and again and again. And it’s greedy when he brings his fingers down to smear over her clit, groaning at the way she clenches around him, desperate to pull that pleasure from her one more time.

“Please.” Oh how closely pain and pleasure dance in the crumbling of her brow, the way her lips part around a frown that hinges into a cry when she unravels around him, wet and aching, the tendons in her throat jumping, inviting his mouth to press against them as he goes spiraling after her, his warmth smearing in the crux of her thighs. 

They fall asleep to the slow, whimpering embers of the fire, a faint smolder of shadows cast over their still embrace, the night pulling them into the pagan new year.

…

“Have you seen Stevie today?”

“Not since this morning, why?” She shrugs at Ellie’s question, checking over her shoulder at the pot of herbs steeping on the stove before focusing back on her.

“I don’t know, I just– she’s usually around the shop at this time of day, I swear it’s like she’s figured out exactly what time you come over from school.” Ellie hums in agreement, swiveling a bit side to side on her stool next to the butcher block.

“Sometimes she likes to follow Joel, y’know, maybe she wandered outside the gate with him this morning.” That thought seems to distress Ellie, her eyebrows jilting up in a worried pinch that she’s quick to calm.

“Don’t worry about that, kid. Little miss may like to follow him, but she knows better than to wander outside. Anyways, she’s probably just found a little trouble to get into.” She’s a bit too distracted to worry much more about Stevie, she knows she can handle herself and her mind is stuck on the fact that Joel’s patrol shifts are ramping up again. It still nags her thoughts whenever he’s outside the walls, that maybe this is the time that he ends up like all the others, a constant eye on the clock until he’s back. 

“You know he’s gonna come back, right? He always comes back.” Ellie’s quiet words snap her back out of her head, grateful for the easy comfort she offers. 

“I know. Just, still gotta worry a bit. But I know. I bet we’ll see him and Stevie both waltzing toward us when we head down to the dining hall for the community dinner.” Ellie lets out a groan at the mention of their obligation to join in at the once-a-month shared meal, something Maria recommended as a way to keep the rumor mill quiet. She had never thought about it that way, that her keeping to herself made all the talk worse, and all the talk then made her want to shutter herself away even more. But being around the other folks of Jackson more, and not just when she’s treating them, has seemed to further quell all the swirling rumors. Hence, community dinner night. 

“Kid, I don’t know what you’re complaining about. I’m pretty sure Dina is gonna be there.” Even though she’s certain they’ve been dating for a few months now, any mention of Dina is a surefire way to set Ellie blushing, which she tries to hide behind a scrunched up expression. 

“I mean, yeah, I guess, it’s whatever. But I’m swiping an extra piece of pie for my troubles.” She has to laugh at Ellie’s huffy claim, shaking her head before turning back to the stove.

“I won’t tell if you come help me pour this stuff into these bottles.” 

…

It’s not that he minds it exactly, he understands that it’s a good sign that people are seeking out her help. But he’d rather not hear about some man’s rash in the middle of his dinner. Ellie shoots him a grossed-out expression around her spoon, and Joel is inclined to agree with the sentiment, though his woman seems to have no trouble talking with the man about a salve she can give him for his particular ailment. The dining hall is close and warm, folks sharing tables with each other, conversation easy and echoing in the high-ceilinged room, and Joel can’t wait until it’s socially acceptable for them to leave.

“If you stop by the shop in the morning I’ll have that all whipped up for you, ok?” The man thanks her quietly, nodding to Joel as well before he walks back over to his own table. Joel, meanwhile, is trying and failing to remember the guy’s name.

“Artie Peterson, he works on the council with Maria and Tommy.” Once again, she seems to know what he’s thinking before he even opens his mouth, giving his thigh a quick squeeze before tucking back into her meal. But it isn’t long after that Maura Nichols is coming over with her plate. 

“Hey y’all, is it ok if I sit with you?” She’s quick to welcome Maura over, pulling out the empty seat next to her for the woman and starting up an easy conversation with her. Joel can’t help but notice the worry lining Maura’s eyes, the quick glances away, and he reckons that she’s probably looking out for Matthew, guarding against another scene like the one he made at the town meeting. The thought is enough for him to try a little harder, leaning his elbows on the table to at least look like he’s intently listening to the conversation, nodding along to what Maura says. 

“So are you two thinking about having a ceremony?” Ellie chokes on her sip of water when Maura asks that, snapping Joel back into attention, his woman letting out a nervous laugh beside him.

“Um, a ceremony for what?” She asks it on a breathy chuckle to Maura who’s still looking expectantly between them. 

“Well I just assumed, two people in love and all, you’d be wanting to get married.” At that, Ellie starts coughing around a bite of pie, something between a laugh and a wheeze as Joel thumps her on the back until she settles back down. 

“Oh, uh, I mean, we haven’t really talked about it. I don’t think that’s really our speed, right, Joel?” She turns her head to look at him, eyebrows creased in a clear plea for back-up.

“Yeah, I– we– that’s not, not really on the radar right now.” Maura nods, looking a bit chastened at their reaction to her questions.

“I’m sorry, me and my big mouth didn’t mean to pry, I just meant to say that you seem so good together, that’s all.” His woman graciously accepts Maura’s comment while Joel sinks back into his thoughts, Ellie muttering something about Dina and slinking off in the periphery. He was certainly surprised by Maura’s words, but even more surprised that the idea of a ceremony didn’t feel so ridiculous to him. He knows it’s silly, frivolous, something like marriage not meaning a damn thing in this world, but he doesn’t mind the idea of something official, something permanent.

He spends the rest of dinner somewhere between his seat next to his woman and a vague vision of a ring and a vow. But he shakes that thought clear of his mind when they step out into the cool night air, Ellie a few strides ahead of them, calling out for Stevie as they walk home. 

“Sorry about Maura’s whole ceremony question. I didn’t mean to speak for you, I just sort of panicked.” She squeezes his hand, a nervous glance his way as they continue walking. He finds that he has to clear his throat before responding.

“No, no, that’s fine, darlin. Kind of a useless question to be asking anyways.” Part of him hopes that the quick flash across her face is something other than acquiescence, something closer to disappointment, but he doesn’t have much time to consider it before his attention is pulled away by the sound of Ellie letting out a clipped gasp.

Everything happens slow, as if underwater, Ellie kneeling down on the porch, curled over in a shuddering heave, Joel’s mind going blank with fear. And everything happens slow until it doesn’t anymore, her hand breaking from his as she makes a stilted jog up the porch steps, body going rigid as she sees whatever Ellie is hunched over. 

What? It’s more of a shriek than a word, high and jagged in her throat as she sinks to her knees next to Ellie, letting out a string of staccato yelps. It’s despair distilled, the sounds she makes, Joel’s heart a tight fist as he tentatively steps onto the porch.

She could be sleeping, if you didn’t look closely. Laying on her side, having dozed off after catching the last rays of sun. But there is no rise and fall of her sleek, black fur, no stirring when Ellie lays a shaking palm over her belly. 

Stevie’s not sleeping. 

She’s trembling, reaching for the lifeless animal before jerking her hands away as if she might get burned, Ellie pulling her into a tight hug as she all but dissolves into sobs. And Joel feels helpless, standing over them, unable to figure out how to fucking fix this. But when his brain catches on the one thing that makes sense, that feels like an explanation and a solution all at once, he finds himself stumbling down the porch and back toward the main drag of Jackson, toward the Tispy Bison where he knows he can find who he’s looking for. 

In another life, when he and Tommy lived on the road together, his brother had described what Joel did as like flipping a switch. Something would fall over his eyes and his mind, his body moving with a violent knowledge, purpose in the pain he inflicted. It’s how he moves now, cutting through the crowd in the bar and finding Mason in the back of the room, the grin on his face expectant, like he’s been waiting for him. And though the man opens his mouth to speak, Joel doesn’t give him the chance to get any words out before he’s grabbing him by the back of his neck and dragging him out of the bar on unsteady feet, slamming him hard against the alley wall. 

“Tell me right now that you didn’t do it and I’ll think about not killing you.” Mason’s smirk splits into a slippery grin, not even struggling in Joel’s grip.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Miller. But if you ask me, people oughta keep a closer eye on their pets.” It’s all he needs to hear, enough for him to pull his fist back before letting it swing scare into Mason’s jaw. 

This time, he doesn’t stop swinging.

…

At some point, she must have worn herself out enough to fall asleep, sitting slumped on the couch, her neck tipped back in a painful crunch. Her eyes are so heavy, so swollen, that she can barely open them when a light squeeze is pressed into her shoulder. 

“Joel?” Her voice is hoarse, barely cracking a whisper, too quiet for Ellie to stir, tucked close into her side and asleep. He’s kneeling in front of her legs, both his hands coming to rest on her knees, eyes searching her face, and suddenly she feels like she’s going to fall apart all over again. 

“Where– where have you been?” It had been a blur, an awful haze, wrapping Stevie’s body in a thick blanket and tucking her into a box, both of them unsure what to do next except for cry. At some point, it had registered somewhere in the periphery of her mind that Joel wasn’t there, but it had been a fleeting thought, a deeper and darker wave of emotion washing it away in the night. And though she tries to be concerned about it now, any worry, any questioning is swept away with a fresh flood of tears.

“I’m so sorry, darlin. I’m here now, I’ve got you.” He shifts to sit on the couch next to her, pulling her into his side as she starts to shudder, her sob breaking into the fabric of his flannel. Her mind can’t stretch much further than the span of this grief, stop-starting itself to a jagged rhythm of disbelief followed by realizing over and over again that this is real, that her girl has left her. It feels like a horrible, lurching ride that she can’t figure out how to get off of. 

“W-we need to bury her.” 

“I know, darlin. We will. Just rest right now, ok? I’ll take care of everything.” They speak in a quiet hush, Ellie still sound asleep on her other side.

“I always knew it’d be time for her to g-go eventually. But it just– it feels too soon, feels too fucking soon.” Believing what she does, knowing what she does, it doesn’t make the agony any less complete, any less brutal. And once again, all she can do is cry as Joel pulls her a little closer. 

…

They bury her in the backyard, beneath the towering cottonwood she had a proclivity for climbing. He knew that Ellie had grown attached to Stevie, but he’s still taken aback by just how torn apart she is, saying a few words over the freshly-covered grave before tears take over her voice again. But it’s the sight of his woman that keeps breaking his heart, a silent sadness taking over her slackened features, eyes and cheeks red with salt, her voice faint and uneven as she says goodbye. 

He moves them both through the rest of the day, making sure they eat, coaxing glasses of water into their hands, keeping a fire burning in the living room where they’ve curled up on the couch. Joel knows grief. He knows that it comes in strange waves, reality stretching thin and frail in the beginning. But it still frustrates him that he can’t do more, that he can’t take their pain into his own hands and make it go away. Whatever he can control, he does. Whatever he can fix, he does.

When both of them have managed to fall asleep in the still of the night, he quietly slips out the front door, half-expecting Stevie to fall into step beside him, a twinge of pain shooting through his chest, a particular loss he didn’t know he’d feel. 

Tommy is waiting for him at the stables, pressing up off the wall of the barn as Joel approaches.

“Let’s take care of this.”

The body has already gone stiff, wrapped up in an old sheet, both of them having to work to get it slung over the back of one of the horses, a heavy blanket draped over top of it to ward off prying eyes. Luckily, no one on patrol bats an eye when Tommy Miller asks for the gate to be opened for him and his brother.

They ride out toward the plains, the moon casting the hills in purple shadows. And, after deciding that they’ve gotten far enough away, together, they dig. 

He had gone to his brother the night before and told him everything. And Tommy had made a few things clear. He would help him, but no one could ever find out, they would never speak of this again, and they would get it done as soon as possible.

They work through the night, the sun curling golden fingers over their shifting backs, stripped down to their undershirts, sweat sticking cool in the crisp morning air. When they finish, a fresh plot of overturned dirt lays before them, what rests below something only they will ever know, with any luck. Joel opens his mouth to speak, but Tommy stops him with a palm held out.

“Don’t, Joel. I’m not gonna judge you for what you did, but I ain’t gonna talk about it either. Blood helps blood, but I don’t wanna hear another thing about this. It’s done. Let’s get back to town before anyone realizes we’re gone.”

…

She wakes up the same way she did the morning before, curled on the couch with Ellie tucked into her side. It was a deep but restless sleep, nothing could have woken her from it, but now opening her eyes, she feels like she could fall back into it all over again. She hears what she assumes is Joel puttering around in the kitchen, the soft clink of dishes, the click of the stove coming on and the hiss of the kettle. 

She knows she can’t stay on the couch again today, knows that people need her, so she presses her grief down until she can just barely swallow it, quietly getting up without waking Ellie and padding into the kitchen.

“You must think me really pitiful to be brewing actual coffee.” He doesn’t say anything, simply taking the few strides to reach her and pull her into a tight hug, her face pressing into his shirt, inhaling him so deep she can’t cry.

“I’m fine, really. I am.” 

“No one’s expecting you to be fine, darlin. Stevie was, well, she was different, wasn’t she?” She finds herself letting out a weak laugh at that, nodding meekly against his chest.

“Yeah, she was.” Silence, and suddenly she feels like it’s a really good idea to stay exactly like this, swaying lightly in his hold, her nose buried into the fabric of his shirt, for the rest of the day, a sign in and of itself for her to disentangle herself with a shaky sigh.

“I’m not gonna miss any more appointments. Don’t wanna let people down.” Joel nods, holding onto one of her hands between them.

“I think people would understand if you needed another day, honey. But I also think it could be good for you, get out, take your mind off it for a little while.” He pours her a cup of coffee and gets started on breakfast, Ellie shuffling in and slumping down at the dining table next to her. She curves what could be a smile across her face, resting one of her hands over Ellie’s.

“Hey, kid, I’m gonna go into the shop today. Would you– would you wanna come help out after school?” She shrugs, a quietly murmured yeah, I guess as Joel sets down plates for all of them. 

There’s no two ways about it, the morning is hard, making her house visits, half expecting Stevie to be trailing her heels, half expecting to catch a glimpse of her girl as she moves through town. People are surprisingly kind about it, offering quiet apologies that she thinks might be more painful than if they just didn’t say anything, though she knows they mean well. 

It’s both a relief and a reminder, getting back to the shop, and she’s desperate for Ellie to show up so it doesn’t seem so quiet. But soon after she does come over from school, Maura comes in as well, carrying a small bundle of flowers, some of the last of the season.

“I’m so sorry for your loss. Some folks don’t understand how hard it is, losing a pet. But they’re as much family as anyone else, aren’t they?” She accepts the flowers from Maura with a small smile and a nod, still surprised by how easily this woman extends her kindness. 

“I also wanted to see if you heard the news.” Her brow furrows at that, looking over to Ellie who seems equally unsure of what Maura’s talking about. 

“Oh, you haven’t. Well, apparently Mason skipped town. Folks hadn’t seen him in a day or so, and Tommy finally let people know that he decided to leave last night. Why anyone in their right mind would want to go out there on their own is beyond me, but I say good riddance.”

It doesn’t feel right, though she can’t place exactly why. She looks to Ellie, whose face is set in a strange, steely expression, something hidden, working through something in her mind. Her thoughts flicker, moving her before it’s even fully formed in her mind, an instinctive knowing, like when you go to reach for something but find it missing. 

“Maura, could you stay here with Ellie for a moment? I need to go check on something real quick.” Ellie calls after her, though she’s already out the door and heading for the stables. 

Joel looks taken aback when he sees her walking a straight line toward him, but before he can get a word in edgewise she’s grabbing him by his wrist and tugging him into the stables, into the darkest corner behind a large stack of hay, her words coming out in a hushed torrent.

“Tell me right now that you had nothing to do with it.” His mouth is slack, brow furrowed, a picture of perfect surprise as she points her finger into his chest.

“What– nothing to do with what? What’re you talking about?” 

“Mason is gone, and I swear to whatever powers there are, if you had anything to do with it I need to know now.” She can see the bob of his throat, eyes still wide at her outburst.

“Mason made his choice and he’s gone, that’s all.” She nearly laughs at his response, how dizzyingly vague it is. She knows him well enough to see that he’s keeping something from her, something in the set of his jaw, the huff he lets out as he speaks, and she wants more than anything not to see it, not to know it.

“That isn’t– that’s not good enough. Joel, I need you to promise me you didn’t have anything to do with this, please.” The tears start falling before she can stop them, and he’s quick to close the space between them, taking her face in his hands, his eyes steady on hers. 

“I promise. That man made a decision and he left, end of story.” She lets him tuck her into his arms, lets him quiet her sobs, lets his palms run warm currents up and down her back. 

He lies to her, and she lets him.

.......................................

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[storiesbyjes2g]

3.128 Fired

We arrived at home late that night loaded down with more gifts than the nursery could hold. If we received one more thing, we'd have to start a warehouse in the empty bedroom. We got so much stuff, we could probably support six more babies, heh. Baby girl could use a different towel every day of the week for the rest of her childhood. We had enough shampoo and lotion to last the rest of her life, it seemed like. If one day she entered a nobody loves me phase, I'll be sure to remind her of this scene.

Sophia had never been a busybody and always took a more relaxed approach to life, but I was glad to see her following the doctor's orders. She spent a lot of time on our balcony, rocking in the chair early morning, thinking about whatever expecting mothers think about. Sometimes I'd catch her reading on the couch. Seeing her take the warning seriously made me feel good about leaving her alone for a few hours to visit Maira. I thought about it in the shower, and visiting her before the baby was born was the move. Who knew when I'd be able to spend quality time with her after that.

Like I always, I began our conversation with an apology, but she didn't fault me, of course. She said it wouldn't have been right for me to neglect all my guests to hang with her all afternoon. That was true, but I still didn't like that she was alone all day. She assured me that she was okay, so I asked about her brother.

"He died in a fire," she said.

"Oh, gosh! I'm so sorry, Maira."

I never liked him, but he didn't deserve to die like that.

"Knowing he's not here anymore is its own challenge, but what makes it worse is when I think about the fire, I often think about us."

I swallowed a few times because I knew exactly where she was going, and it made me nervous.

"I think about how you held me when you realized I was okay and what we both felt."

I couldn't move or even blink and sat there, holding my breath, hoping she wasn't about to pull a Yasmine on me. Finding good friends had been a long journey, and I felt like I had a nice inner circle now. I didn't want to lose Maira because of her feelings for me. I also didn't need her digging things back up because I had worked hard to let that go.

"Sometimes I think about that moment and I wish I would have given in," she continued. "We could have tried to see if we would work. I imagine myself married to you and pregnant with your baby. My parents would finally be proud of me."

I wanted to stop her from talking so she wouldn't say something that would ruin our friendship, but I was frozen. This was a mistake. I wanted to be a better friend, but we couldn't be alone together anymore.

"All of that is nice to think about," she continued, "but I would be miserable. And you would get fed up with me. We wouldn't be friends anymore. Life turned out exactly how it was supposed to, and I wouldn't change a thing. I like how we are, and I like my life. It's just lonely sometimes, and I wonder if I'm missing out on something."

I exhaled the breath I held and blinked, finally. I could keep my friend. As uncomfortable as that was to hear, I loved that we were able to be that honest with each other. That's true friendship right there.

"Everyone has their own opinions about what you should be doing with your life, so I don't think there's a right or wrong answer for that," I said. "I think as long as you're happy with your life, no one else's opinion matters."

"Yeah. You're right. That's what I say to myself. But you know how it is."

"Yeah. It's a battlefield up there."

"Seriously."

"So...there's no one you're interested in right now?" I asked, trying to pivot the conversation...and maybe be a tiny bit nosy.

"No, and it's all your fault. You ruined me!"

"Me? How??"

"You set the bar way too high! No one else can measure up!"

"Oh please. I'm sure there's plenty of guys out there who are way better catches than me."

"I assure you, there aren't."

"I don't believe that for a second. Ooh, I should set you up with my friend Justin."

"That guy who comes to all your parties? He's kinda cute. What's up with him?"

"He's a landscaper and lives in San Myshuno. He comes from a big family just like you and is a good man...a bit older than us, but at least he won't bother you about children."

"Oh-my-Watcher you're trying to set me up with an OLD man??"

"He's not that old...I think."

"You are officially fired from matchmaking, thank you!"

I missed our banter. It felt good to laugh with her again. Hopefully, she would let someone into her life soon. She didn't need a man, but it was obvious she wanted some kind of companionship, and I was not the man for the job. Besides, she deserved to be loved and cherished, and I wanted to see her happy for once.

"The baby will be here in a couple of days, huh?" she asked.

"Sure will. I can't wait to meet her."

"So, is this the first of many, or..."

I sighed, realizing this would be the first time I admitted this out loud.

"She might be it for us. At least if we want more, we'll have to adopt."

"Whaaat?"

"Yeah. We went through a lot to get her. Sophia says she doesn't want to do it again."

"Are you cool with adoption?"

"Oh yeah, totally. You know Sophia's adopted, right?"

"Really? I don't think I knew that. It's funny...I've known her almost my whole life, but I've never really known her until now."

Was it bad that I often forgot she and Rashidah were sisters? They rarely spoke of each other, and Sophia and Rashidah seemed closer than the sisters.

"Yeah, she is," I said. "And she's got quite a story. But yeah... We're both open to it, but actually doing it is another story."

"Well, whatever happens, I'm glad you two are finally getting your family. I can't wait to meet your kid!"

"Oh yeah? I thought you didn't like children."

"I never said that! I don't want my own children; I love the auntie life! I think my first order of business will be teaching her forbidden words!"

"Oh Watcher. Here we go."

[strawberrykidneystone]

I Was Gone for Two Seconds

garrus vakarian x fem! shepard

summary: in purgatory, shepard steps away for a second and her stool was taken

a/n: if it sounds like that one scene from victorious you're right and you should say it #mybad

tags: tooth rotting fluff, set in ME3, catty comments (sorry i’ve been rewatching dance moms), garrus being oblivious as always, shepard being rightfully pissed (smh), species hostility kinda???, reassurance, lovey dovery gross stuff, ooc bc garrus says ily (LMAO), busy couple making time for each other ):

ao3 version

shepard was sat at the bar in purgatory with her legs crossed in a little black dress and heels, nursing a purple drink that she had already forgotten the name of. she was waiting for garrus to arrive to have some semblance of a proper date for the two of them. however, knowing him, he most likely got caught up with calibrating the weapons in the normandy for the umpteenth time, but she didn’t blame him nor was she mad. in fact, she had arrived later than their decided time as well since she got caught up in her own paperwork.

suddenly, she felt a tap on her right shoulder. she looked over, but saw no one. she turned her head to the left and saw the face of her favorite turian with a nervous smile on his face.

“sorry for running late shepard, the primarch needed help with-”

shepard leaned in and cut him off with a kiss, pulling back and patting his chest with a smile, “garrus i barely got here, you’re fine big guy, i get it.”

garrus’ shoulders relaxed and a sigh of relief left his mouth, settling into the stool next to her, “thank you sweetie, i can’t promise that it won’t happen again, but i can promise i’ll always make up for it.”

he had been holding a hand behind his back, bringing it forward to show to her with a blue blush creeping up his neck. shepard looked down at his hand and gasped, picking up the gift and examining it, “a thermal scope! i’ve been wanting to try one of these babies out forever!”

shepard grinned like a kid on christmas and threw her arms around garrus’ neck, kissing his cheek with an emphasized “mwah”. garrus wrapped his arms around shepard’s waist and purred with her in his arms, looking at her with love in his eyes.

“i’m glad you like it.”

“like it? i love it.”

“more than you love me?”

“know your limits vakarian.”

the two laughed together and shepard let go of the embrace, garrus’ hand remaining on her thigh with her hand over it. he waved the bartender over and ordered a drink. the two of them chatted for a while about anything and everything, talking to each other as if they were the only ones in the room. shepard excused herself to go "powder her nose", aka she's had to pee for the last 10 minutes and couldn't stand it anymore.

when she returned, she was met with a surprise.

a female turian was sitting on the stool that she had occupied not long ago, talking to garrus a little too enthusiastically for her liking. as shepard approached, she was able to hear their conversation.

"why don't you stick to your own species? that little human has nothing on a real turian woman."

garrus looked appalled and opened his mouth to say something, but shepard cleared her throat before he got the chance. her hands rested squarely on her hips, her eyebrows raised with her jaw tightened. the turian woman looked her up and down, then rolled her eyes, "speak of the devil."

"that's commander devil to you."

garrus laughed at that and covered it with a cough, letting shepard take the lead.

shepard plastered on the fakest smile she could and tilted her head, "sorry, but this little human couldn't help but notice that you took my seat. i’d like it back now."

the turian scoffed and slid out of the seat, shoulder-checking shepard as she passed her, "he's all yours, who wants a man with a damaged mandible anyways."

shepard balled her hands into fists before closing her eyes and taking a deep breath, letting her fists go before walking up to garrus.

"shepard i'm so sorry, we were talking about the newest black widow that was released onto the market yesterday and then suddenly she changed the subject-" shepard cut off his rambling by taking his mandibles in her hands and kissing his lip plates, kissing all around his face before pulling back to look into his eyes, searching for any semblance of doubt in them. when she found none, she smiled reassuringly to him and rubbed her thumbs against mandibles.

garrus reached up and wrapped his hands around hers, turning his head to kiss her right palm before nuzzling his cheek against it. she knew he was being genuine, and even if she was blatantly flirting with him, shepard knew he would never pick up on it, that's for sure.

"for the record, i am one of those women who find scars attractive."

garrus laughed by letting a puff of air out of his nose and kissed her other palm, "for the record, i love my commanders a little devilish." shepard snorted and plopped down into her seat again. she leaned her elbow against the bar and resting her hand against her cheek.

"i love you vakarian."

"I love you too shepard."

"why don't we go back to the normandy and i can show you just how devilish i am," shepard said with an impish grin on her face.

"i wouldn't mind a little demonstration. i am a physical learner," garrus flirted back before quickly downing his drink.

shepard giggled before finishing the rest of her drink, standing up and grabbing his hand before leading him back to the Normandy. she glanced back just before they left purgatory and made eye contact with the turian woman from before, sticking her tongue out childishly as she led the love of her life back to their own home away from home.

notes: i'm actually happier with this piece than i thought i would be!! pls leave a comment if you want a part 12 with smut 👀 if i made any spelling or grammatical error pls lmk too

[strrykais]

die with a smile

a hwang hyunjin short story

week two

its been a week since hyunjin was asked to stay here. everyday was testing, blood drawn, scans and the horrible hospital smell. as he walked down the halls mindlessly going where his feet wondered. he walks past this room, stopping and then slowing walking back. there stood a girl her hair flowing down her back. she faces the window outlooking the hospitals courtyard. she has on a painters apron on, her hands and arms were completely covered in paint. she wasn’t exactly van gogh but her style was captivating. 

hyunjin slows walks in continuing to stare at the girl he couldnt understand why there was this pull to get close to her. hyunjin freezes when he sees the girl turn around feeling the presence of a person. you smile at him, a red streak of paint laying on your pale cheeks.

”hyunjin! hi! we meet again. sorry i would shake your hand but i'm kind of covered.” you laugh out at your own little joke. hyunjin could feels his cheeks turning a light red hearing your honey laugh.

“youre a patient?” hyunjin was dumbfounded last time he saw you, you were wearing a doctors coat. you run a hand through your hair, thin layers of paint sticking to thin strands.

”yeah, sorry i havent stopped by to see you after we met. things got held up over here so i had to deal with that before they gave me clearance to leave my room.” you take off our apron hanging it on the hook nailed to the wall. “glad to see you looking better. are you feeling any better.” you asked.

hyunjin was asked this so many times a day he was starting to get really sick of it. he scoffs “i wouldn’t exactly say having cancer is something someone could feel better towards.” he rolls his eyes turning around to walk out when he hears your voice, stopping him.

”well you exactly haven't tried, have you? still feeling like the world is against you? or is it you are a good person and you don't deserve this.” you say walking to the canvas covering it with a sheet hiding the barely forming painting.

”and what do you know, you are just a kid playing doctor when other people are going through a tough time. not everything is easier because you put on a fake smile and a silly laugh.” hyunjin was pissed and stormed out of your room. how dare she even think of saying something like that to him. he was going to make sure to avoid you like you were the last thing on earth.

hyunjin couldn’t avoid you. you would always pop out at the most random times. its been about the second week of him being here and you were getting on his nerves. though he was doing everything to avoid you, no matter how hard he tried his eyes always seemed to wander to look for your cheery smile and bright eyes.

hyunjin was hiding in a supply closet when you walked in, cheeks red and out of breath. before hyunjin can get a word out, you quickly place your hand over his lips, shushing him. his heart was rapidly beating so fast he thought you could hear it. he watched as you continued to watch the door listening to the footsteps outside.

you turns looking down at him, body hovering over his sitting form, you smirked, hand still over his mouth. he gulps, he was nervous with the way you were looking at him.

"my nurse was trying to make me eat something, but i don't really feel good enough to eat at the moment." you say gently plopping beside him, your hand finally away from his mouth he lets a deep breath.

he did not want to make small talk with you so he continued to draw in the notebook he hid in here days before.

"you draw woah that's so cool, i can't draw which is probably why my paintings are so bad. hey what if you teach me. and i can teach you to paint. i see how you always walk by my room once in a while, to see how that paintings going." you say hovering over his shoulder.

" i don't and no thank you. get out. i can't hide from you if you are in here." hyunjin grumbles.

"okay well if you want to learn or get bored you know where i am." you smile wiping your hands on your hospital pants and slowly makes your way to the door.

"just so you know this was technically my hiding spot first, i've been here longer. but it can be ours now." you quickly stepped out shutting the door softly not letting hyunjin even deny the idea of a shared hiding room. he would definitely be finding a new place to hide.

previous | masterlist | next

tags : @hannamoon143 @jellyleggz @tajannah-price1 @skzfelixlove @kkamismom12

[jenniferjareauwife]

Holaaaaaaa, could you do a JJ X reader where the reader is pregnant with her kid and gets hurt? She could be a part of the bau or not, you decide!!!

Down the Stairs

pairing: jennifer jareau x fem reader

category: fluff

warnings: none

word count: 722

summary: you're pregnant and you fall down the stairs

I scrolled through TikTok with a smile on my face and one hand on my belly, rubbing it slowly. I was looking at baby names for JJ and I's little one due in 2 months. I saw a few I liked so I favorited them, excited to tell JJ when she got home from work.

After another half hour of scrolling I decided to get up, really wanting some lunch. JJ had made me a sandwich last night for when I inevitably wanted one.

I took one step down the stairs and then felt the baby kick, making me freeze with shock and I didn't even process that I had fallen down the stairs until I was on the floor. "Fuck." I groaned as I felt a sharp pain running through my wrist. It was probably broken or at least sprained. I hugged my stomach, praying that our baby was ok. I hadn't landed on my stomach but you never know. "Hey siri...call love of my life."

A few seconds later I heard JJ's voice on the other line. "What's up baby?"

"I fell."

"Can you get up."

"I uh...I don't know."

"Are you in our bedroom?"

"No I...I fell down the stairs."

"Oh...oh." Her voice dropped an octave. "Are you hurt, is everything ok?"

"I...I don't know my wrist hurts really bad and I didn't land on my stomach but I don't know if the baby is ok and I-"

"Ok. Take a deep breath honey, I'm on my way over." I could tell she was panicking but staying calm for my sake. "I'm 15 minutes away, just sit tight, ok? It's gonna be ok."

"Mhm."

She got home 15 minutes later, rushing to me as soon as she saw me. She gingerly touched my wrist and I winced. "It's probably broken. "Do you have any pain in your abdomen?" I shook my head. "Why'd you fall down the stairs?"

"I felt the baby kick."

"Oh my God." She let go of my wrist as her lips pulled up in the biggest smile I had seen in a while. "Is it kicking now? Can I feel it?"

"It's not kicking now. Probably mad at me for falling down the stairs."

"Oh yeah. We should go to the emergency room. Can you walk?" She helped me stand up and I nodded, letting out a sigh of relief that my ankles didn't hurt.

Ten minutes later we were sitting in the emergency room, JJ was clutching my hand tightly as we waited to be called over. "It's gonna be ok." She told me but I knew she was trying to comfort herself.

30 minutes later we were finally called back. I stood up on shaky legs, too nervous to walk straight. "What seems to be the problem today?" The doctor asked as I held my good hand protectively over my stomach.

"I fell down the stairs and my wrist hurts. But make sure my baby is ok, please." JJ kissed my forehead to calm me down.

"Did you fall on your stomach?"

"No."

"Then your baby's probably fine but I'll do an ultrasound just to make sure."

"Thank you." JJ and I said in unison. He reached to my wrist to check it out.

"It's just a sprain. I'll have you wear a brace for a couple weeks." I nodded and watched as he jotted something down on his clipboard. "I'll be right back."

He came back with the ultrasound machine and I reached over for JJ's hand, squeezing it tightly, praying that our baby was ok. "It's gonna be ok baby." JJ brushed the hair back from my face and placed a few kisses to my temple and forehead.

"Your baby's ok." He told us with a smile, showing us what it looked like on the ultrasound. I started crying with relief, letting go of JJ's hand to cover my mouth.

"What's wrong?" JJ asked, smoothing my hair back while the doctor left to give us space.

"Just...just so glad the baby's ok." I sniffled, wiping my tears away. She smiled and cradled my head against her chest.

"I'm glad the baby's ok but I'm also glad you're ok."

"You're so sweet." I cried even harder, the pregnancy hormones really getting to me. "I love you so much."

"I love you more."

[shelbystales]

Ceramic Lessons - Part Three

Cillian Murphy X Reader - Masterlist

Previous parts: 1 - 2

Summary: after much insistence from his sister, Cillian attends a ceramics class with her. To his surprise, he feels a connection to the teacher, you. Will this connection go any further or will it be smashed like a bad ceramic project?

Warning: smut smut smut. Mention of abusive relatjonship

A/N: this is my first time writing for Cillian, so a small reminder that this has nothing to do with his real life.

English is my second language, so I apologize in advance for any grammar mistake

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

The next day, you were getting ready for your date with Cillian. You felt a bit nervous, a flutter in your stomach, and an excitement you hadn't felt in a while. After taking a long shower, you went through your usual skincare routine, applied your lavender-scented lotion, did your skincare routine, styled your hair, and now you were sitting on your bed, staring at your closet, thinking about what to wear. In the end, you decided on a black midi slip dress with a crochet cardigan.

Once you picked out your accessories, your phone buzzed with a notification from Cillian. "Hey, I'm leaving. I’ll be there in 15 min"

"okk" you sent back. You had exchanged a few messages after he got your number.

You took a deep breath and glanced at the mirror one last time. You looked good and you felt good.

As you stepped outside, you noticed the weather was a bit colder than expected. Soon enough, Cillian arrived, his car pulling up by the curb. He stepped out, looking charming in a simple beige linen button-down shirt and black jeans. He looked so charming. As he approached you he had a warm smile, his hands slightly shoved into his pockets.

"Hey," he greeted, his eyes locking onto yours, and you felt a tingling sensation in your chest.

"Hi," you replied, returning his smile.

He left a kiss on your cheek and said, "You look stunning," making you feel even better about yourself.

"Thank you. You look good too... very handsome," you praised him, playfully tugging on the middle of his shirt where the buttons were.

"Thank you. Shall we?" he said, motioning toward his car. You nodded and followed him in.

The car ride was short and accompanied by easy conversation and laughter. He was so easy to talk to. He asked about your day, and you told him you spent most of it making a series of kitchen utensils for a restaurant.

You arrived at a restaurant you had never heard of before, but it had a nice appearance. The interior was cozy and dimly lit with many candles, with soft music playing in the background. As you were led to your table, you couldn't help but admire the charming decor and the warm atmosphere. Arriving at your table, Cillian pulled out your chair, a gesture that made you smile.

The waiter handed you the menu and left, giving you both the chance to browse through the options. You were pleasantly surprised by the variety of vegetarian choices available.

“This is a lovely, place,” you said

“I’m glad you’re enjoying it. The food looks good” he said, with a cute smile. You both continued perusing the menu, occasionally sharing a comment or two about the dishes that caught your eye.

“So, I didn't get a chance to ask in the car. How was your day?” you asked starting the conversation

“Good. Nothing too special spent the day with my son. Took him to the zoo” he answered making you smile

“Your son? didn't know you had a son, tell me more about him” you asked genuinely interested

Cillian's smile grew as he began to share. "Yeah, I have a son. His name is Lukas. He's eight years old, and he's the most energetic and curious kid you'll ever meet” You smiled seeing how he talked about his boy “I was surprised to see how many random facts he knew about the animals in the zoo today” he chuckled

“He sounds adorable,” you said, imagining a young boy enthusiastically rattling off animal facts.

Cillian nodded, his eyes lighting up with fondness. "He definitely is. He keeps me on my toes, that's for sure. But I wouldn't have it any other way."

“If you don’t mind me asking, why didn’t things work out between you and his mom?” you asked a bit unsure about the question

Cillian's expression turned more serious as he considered your question. "No, I don't mind at all. We're getting to know each other,” he smiled, making you feel less inquisitive. “It's a long story, but in short, we just grew apart over time. Our priorities and goals shifted, and we realized that we were heading in different directions." He sighed softly, his gaze briefly distant.

“So you guys went your separate ways friendly?” you asked, and he chuckled, shaking his head.

“No… that didn’t happen. It wasn't an easy divorce."

“Oh, sorry about that. we don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to” you said giving him a way out if he wanted to. The waiter came and took your orders, forcing a pause in the conversation. Cillian ordered an expensive bottle of wine as well.

"It's alright," Cillian replied, offering you a small smile. "I don't mind talking about it. It's a part of my life, after all. She had an affair while I was away shooting"

“Oh, I am sorry,” you said

“You have nothing to be sorry about” he gave you a gentle smile “She wanted to make things work, but I didn't. She didn't let us go easily, made it tough for me to leave. Put Lukas in the spot and that wasn't nice," he explained, and you listened with a caring and understanding look. But then Cillian's smile returned. "So, tell me more about your day. Making kitchen utensils, was it?"

You chuckled, relieved to switch to a lighter topic.

"Yeah, besides the classes, I take some orders from places like restaurants, hotels... anywhere, really," you smiled.

"That's nice, I must say you are very good at it," he said, making you blush.

"Thank you, you're very kind."

The waiter brought the wine, and when he inquired who would sample it first, Cillian volunteered you, making you smile. What a kind gentleman, you thought as you took the initial sip. After your approval, the waiter proceeded to pour the wine into your glass and then into Cillian's.

"So it's your turn," he said after sipping his wine. You cocked one eyebrow, waiting for him to continue. "Have you ever been married?"

You nervously smiled. "Ugh, no. But I've been engaged."

"What happened?" he asked.

"Sure, let's talk about it," you said, preparing yourself. "He was abusive."

"Oh," his smile transformed into a concerned face. "We don't have to go there if you don't want to."

"It's okay, as you said, we are getting to know each other," you smiled and continued. "Okay, are you ready?" you asked, and he nodded. "We broke up around three years ago. Like any normal relationship, it started well. He was kind at first, treated me like a queen until he had me. After we started dating, he began showing tiny red flags that I ignored because I was in love with him. Eventually, those tiny flags weren't so tiny anymore. He became jealous and aggressive, especially around the time he proposed. And after about half a year, I think, everything's a bit confusing from that time, he started hitting me whenever he got angry. That was the red flag I couldn't ignore. So, I broke things off, and he almost killed me because of that. He's in jail now," you finished, and Cillian took a sip of his wine.

"That's awful, y/n. I'm sorry you had to go through that," he said with genuine sympathy.

"Yeah, me too. But hey, after that, I went through a lot of therapy, and that's when I fell in love with ceramics. I went on a very long journey of getting to know myself. I guess that was the silver lining," you said with a small smile. “Now, I guess I can affirm that I am my best self,” you said confidently. Cillian nodded, a look of admiration in his eyes.

“Yes, you can,” he smiled. “You're very strong," his statement, though already familiar to you, made you blush. It's always nice to be recognized. “How did you end up not eating meat?”

"Political statement," you answered, a curious look forming on his face.

"Oh really? Tell me more," he said, his curiosity piqued, making you chuckle.

“hum, ok. First, meat is a very expensive resource and consumes a significant amount of resources – water, grains, and land. We could definitely put those resources to better use, perhaps even tackling hunger issues. And we have all that save water, reduce usage, turn off your faucets while you brush your teeth… while one cow drinks up to 64 liters of water per day. And its exploitation of animals’ lives I don’t agree. I think it's a bit cruel”

“Wow, you have some fair points. Never thought much about it. Was it hard, giving up meat?” he said

“Yeah… I loved a good steak” you chuckled “but I transitioned slowly and sometimes I crave it, and I must admit once in a while I give into my cravings” you smiled shyly

“You do enough, what's once in a while, right?”

“Right” you chuckled

The waiter arrived with the food, the aroma filled the air, making your stomach growl in anticipation. The two of you exchanged a knowing glance and thanked the waiter before digging into your meals.

As you savored the flavors of the dish, you realized that despite the heavy topic of conversation earlier, the atmosphere between you and Cillian remained light and comfortable.

“This is really good,” you said and he smiled

“Yeah, it’s very flavorful,” he said

As you ate, the conversation continued to flow effortlessly between you, touching on various topics from hobbies to travel aspirations. He told you about his projects and you told yours.

The more you talked, the more you felt a genuine connection forming. It was refreshing to be with someone who was not only easy to talk to but also genuinely interested in getting to know you.

After finishing your meal, the waiter came to clear the table and offered dessert options. You both declined, feeling content with the satisfying dinner you had just enjoyed. Cillian leaned back in his chair, a relaxed smile on his face.

"I have to admit, this has been a really wonderful evening," he said, his eyes meeting yours.

"I feel the same way," you agreed, genuinely pleased with how the evening had turned out.

As the waiter brought the check, you reached for it, but he stopped you with a playful smile. "Oh no, this one's on me," he insisted, taking the bill from the waiter.

You chuckled, shaking your head. "Alright then, I won't argue. Thank you."

With the bill settled, you both stood up from the table and made your way outside. The night air was colder than before, but your cardigan was doing a good enough job of keeping you warm. You followed Cillian to his car, and as you reached it, he went to open the door for you. Your bodies closed in on each other, and in a bold move, you placed a hand on his chest and leaned closer. He responded by leaning in as well, and your lips met.

The kiss was soft and gentle, as your lips touched, you felt a warmth spread from the point of contact, igniting a spark of electricity that seemed to course through your veins. the soft pressure of his lips against yours, the faint taste of the wine you had shared lingering on both of your mouths.

You felt his hand on your waist, pushing you closer to him. His other hand rested on your neck, holding your face gently.

As the kiss gradually ended, your face remained close, his nose brushing against yours. A contented sigh escaped your lips as the excitement of the kiss lingered in the air. "Hm, I hope that was ok," you mumbled, feeling a bit flustered.

"More than okay," he replied with a smile, and you couldn't help but grin, your heart racing. With that, he opened the car door for you, and you got in, your cheeks still flushed from the wonderful kiss. As he started to drive, you couldn't help but replay the kiss in your mind.

“Here we are,” he said as he pulled up in front of your apartment.

“Thank you, I had a wonderful night,” you said, unbuckling your seatbelt.

“Me too,” he said with a smile.

You leaned in for a hug, but as you pulled away, your lips seemed to gravitate toward each other. His gaze was intense, his desire palpable. The kiss that followed was more intense than the last, his hand rested on your thigh, pressuring it the right amount. A tingling sensation coursed through your body, anticipation growing with every second.

“Hm, do you want to… go up?” you asked, your voice laced with a mix of desire and uncertainty.

Cillian's eyes held a mix of longing and respect as he looked at you, his hand still resting on your thigh. He nodded slowly, his voice low and husky. "If you're comfortable with it, then yes." his thumb brushed against your thigh in a reassuring gesture.

You felt your heart race, a combination of excitement and nervousness flooding your senses. With a small smile, you nodded back, your hand finding its way to his cheek as you leaned in to kiss him a short kiss.

A mixture of emotions swirling within you as you both got out of the car. Walking into your apartment building, Cillian's hand found yours, and you intertwined your fingers.

Your apartment building is a bit old and does not have an elevator. You live on the third floor and the stairs are the only way up.

“Here we are,” you said as you reached your door. Opening the door, you led him inside, your hands still intertwined.

Your apartment was a simple, cozy, and inviting space, designed with a mix of modern simplicity and urban jungle aesthetics. The open layout of the loft allowed for an easy flow between the different areas.

The furniture was a blend of neutral tones and natural textures, with comfortable cushions and throws strewn across the seating areas. A variety of potted plants and hanging vines added a touch of lushness to the urban atmosphere, giving your space a calming and earthy vibe. The rich green hues of the plants contrasted beautifully with the muted color palette of the walls and furnishings.

The kitchen area was sleek and modern, with stainless steel appliances and marble countertops. A few ceramic pieces that you had crafted adorned the shelves, showcasing your creative touch.

Cillian's gaze swept over the space, and a smile tugged at his lips. "You have a beautiful home," he remarked, his voice sincere.

"Thank you," you replied, warmth spreading through you. "Do you want something to drink? Water? Or wine?" you offered with a smile.

He took a few steps towards you, his hand finding its place on your waist. "Thanks, I'm good," he said, his voice hoarse, leaning in to kiss you. Your arms wrapped loosely around his neck. His fingers trailed gently down your spine, reaching your lower back and pushing you against him. "If you say stop, anytime, we stop. If you say it in thirty seconds or an hour, we stop, ok?" he asked, breaking the contact, and as soon as he did, you found yourself desperately wanting him again.

"Ok," you replied almost in a whisper and leaned in to kiss him.

The kiss deepened, a surge of intensity passing between you. Your fingers entwined in his hair, pulling him closer as you arch your lower back.

You could feel his heartbeat, steady and strong, beneath your chest pressed to his.

His hand moved from your lower back to your ass, squeezing it. Your hips moved forward, drawing you closer to him, and you could feel his hardness pressing against you.

Shit, your legs felt weaker than normal. You were overwhelmed by the sensation of being desired and so horny for him.

One of his hands went to your hair, his fingers tangling in the strands before he firmly, yet gently, pulled it, tilting your head back, granting him access to your neck.

"Fuck," you sighed, feeling a wave of desire wash over you as his movement consumed you.

His lips began to trail down the soft, lavender-scented skin, leaving soft kisses and gentle bites. Eventually, his lips reached your ear, and the sensation and sound of his breath made you shiver.

“Should we go to your room?” he asked, and you sighed, nodding.

You led him to your room, feeling a mixture of anticipation and nervous excitement. As you entered, his eyes scanned the space, taking in the details of your urban jungle-themed decor. The room was softly illuminated by the warm glow of string lights hung around the bed frame and as the living room, you had many potted plants scattered around.

He closed the door behind him, his eyes locking onto yours with a mix of desire and tenderness.

His hand found yours, fingers intertwining as he pulled you closer. The distance between you disappeared, and his lips met yours once again in a passionate kiss. Your heart raced as his hands roamed over your body, his touch igniting a fire within you. His fingers danced along the edges of your clothing, fingers grazing your skin, making your cardigan slip from your shoulders and fall to the ground.

Embracing the same fervor, your hands found the hem of his shirt, slipping underneath the fabric to explore his abdomen and back. A soft moan escaped his lips as you traced the contours of his body. The anticipation between you both grew as his shirt joined your cardigan on the floor. His bare chest was revealed to your hungry gaze, and the desire in his eyes mirrored your own.

Your gaze was intense, and as your lips met again, his hands caressed your skin while he gently pulled up your midi dress. The soft fabric slid over your body, revealing more of your bare skin to him.

“You’re so beautiful” he whispered, as his lips left a trail of kisses from your neck down to your collarbone.

He took a few small and slow steps towards your bed, all the while maintaining the contact of your bodies.

His hands continued their exploration, tracing the curves of your body. As his fingers worked to unhook your bra, you found yourself lost in the moment, completely caught up in the intoxicating chemistry between you two.

His lips left your collarbone to give your breasts some attention, kissing, nibbling, and sucking at them. The sensations he evoked were electrifying, and you couldn't help but let out a soft moan as he pressed his body against yours, the heat radiating between you.

You moved your hand to his belt and began to unbuckle it, then you undid the button and the zip of his fly, sliding his pants down.

He gently pushed you to lay on the bed, his body hovering over yours. Kissing you tenderly from your lips to your chest, then around your belly, finally reaching your panty. He pushed your legs apart and kissed you through your panty making you let out a moan, making more and more turned on. He left wet kisses on your inner thighs, eventually brushing his teeth, taking his time on making you ready for him.

You were growing impatience and rather desperate for his touch, you buckled up your hips, hoping he would get the message. You felt the vibration of his chuckle and he looked up at you.

“You’re being impatient,” he said, his voice making waves of pleasure rush over you.

“I am,” you said and he smirked

“Well, I’m not,” he said as he brushed his lips around your inner thighs.

he moved up, kissing your lower abdomen, kissing all around your panty. You could feel your juices leaving you and wetting your panty. One of his hands reached up to your breasts, squeezing it as he kissed you over your panty again. His other hand squeezed your inner thigh and brushed his finger over your panty.

“Jesus, Cillian. You’re going to kill me” you said out of breath, hazed with desire and he chuckled

His finger found the hem of your panty, sliding it to the side. His eyes locked on your face as he slid his finger between your folds.

“You are so wet,” he said as a praise

“After all of that, impossible not to,” you said chuckling, making him smile. He moved to take your panty out and tossed it on the floor.

he kissed one of your toes and trailed kisses up to your inner thigh.

You let out a moan as you felt his tongue on your clit, arching your back but he stilled you, holding your hips firmly. He began to alternate the movement of his tongue between light and intense strokes, adjusting according to your responses. He could hear your breathing harder and faster, assuming you were getting closer. Your moans began to sound more labored.

His lips closed on your clit, as sucked it, making you feel a shock of pleasure never felt before

“Fuck!” you let out, groaning deep in your throat, setting your head back into the pillow

You didn't know how he did but, in a matter of seconds you felt your abdomen burst into an incredible feeling, you arched your back again as the orgasm washed over your body. His tongue only stopped its movements when you stopped your erratic moves.

He then moved up, his lips meeting yours.

“Shit, that was something…” you said out of breath, he smiled

“Do you have a condom?” he asked and you nodded

“Top drawer” you indicated to your bedside table. He stood up to take his briefs out and search for the condom. As soon as he opened the drawer he saw not only condoms but a few sex toys. He smiled and looked at you, you sat on the bed and gave him a playful smile

“I’m single,” you said and he chuckled, picking up the condom and making his way back to you.

“Next time we could ask them to join,” he said, kissing you.

“Oh, that sounds like a party,” you said smiling as your hand cupped his cock and you started to stroke him gently. H

e sat down on the bed, his back resting against the headboard. He was about to open the condom but stopped when your lips touched the tip of his length. Your tongue flickering around the tip, salty precum leaking out of him. You slowly stroke his hard cock while your tongue continues to tease. Your eyes locked on his as you finally took him into your mouth.

His hand cups your hair, getting it out of the way as you teased him, licking his entire length, from tip to bottom, from bottom to tip. Licking, kissing, and sucking at the head.

Eventually taking his hardness into your mouth.

You started pumping your head, each time taking his cock deeper into your mouth. He dropped his head back, a deep groan leaving his lips.

you continued pumping, your head doing your best not to gag, as your hand held his length, stroking the rhythm of your pumping. His hand eventually wrapped around yours, putting some pressure on it.

“You can hold it harder” he encouraged you. You tightened your grip and continued to pump your head. You eventually used your other hand to cup his balls, caressing and massaging them gently. “fuck, yeah. That’s good” he praised, the grip he had on your hair getting stronger.

You were glad he was responding to your touch, letting you know what he liked, how he liked it.

As you looked at him, you saw fire in his eyes. The way his gaze burned into you, making you crave for him. “Stop, stop, stop,” he said, and you stopped, looking at him a bit confused

“Did I hurt you?” you asked and he shook his head, cupping your face and pushing you into a kiss.

“No, you were amazing” he smiled moving on top of you, making you lay back. He kissed your collarbone and the skin of your chest and breasts.

He took the condom wrap to his mouth and opened it with his teeth so that he could put it on.

You felt him sliding the head of his cock between your entrance, His eyes were locked onto your every reaction. You held his gaze, one hand resting on his back, the other gently cradling the back of his neck. The tension in the air was palpable, the anticipation growing with every passing moment.

He pressured against you, slowly sliding inside. You gasped at the feeling.

You wrapped your legs around his lower back and he started to thrust gently and slowly into you. His mouth wrapped yours, kissing you with the same intensity of his thrusts, slowly, savoring every feeling.

“Feels so good” you moaned against his lips

“So fucking good” he agreed, speeding up, every thrust going deeper, you matching his moves, pulling your hip up at every move. You both rocking together.

he ran his hands through your hair, caressing you as he smiled at you, kissing your lips. He was so kind, so caring and you loved it… but you wanted him to be a bit more.. intense.

“Harder” you whispered against his lips.

He looked at you with a smirk, his thrusts intensifying, making you moan louder. digging your nails into his skin at every thrust hitting you deeper and deeper. One of his hands cupped your breasts, pinching at your nipples.

Then, his fingers went to your clit, rubbing it intensively. He didn’t have to do much, you were so turned on, so ready that you quickly felt that knot in your stomach grow and another orgasm washed over you, making you loudly moan, your nails scratching the skin on his back.

“Fuck” you moaned breathlessly, recovering from your orgasm. “let me ride you,” you said and he simply turned you both on the bed, you ending on top.

There’s something about being on top that just turns you on. You feel like you are on top of the world. you rocked your hips back and forward, hands resting on his chest, his lips half open, small sighs leaving.

You let your head fall back, delighting at the feeling of his cock so deep inside you.

His hands held both sides of your hips, following and encouraging your hip movement. Cillian thought you’ve never looked prettier, the soft light of the room made every curve of your body prettier. He loved how your breasts bounced as you moved, how your lips looked as your moans trailed off them, the sexy pleasure in your face you made every time you lowered your body against his… you looked perfect.

“I’m a bit tired,” you said kissing him, after riding him for a long time

“Let me fuck you from behind,” he said and you smiled, getting off him and getting on all fours.

you felt his hand slide over your spine, resting at your lower back as he lined himself against you before thrusting into you. Both your skins were now glowing with sweat.

As he started thrusting, both his hands squeezed your asscheeks, spreading them apart as he watched his dick disappear inside of you. A gentle slap followed as his movements got faster.

“You feel so good, Cillian. Fuck me harder” you said, thinking he was holding back, being afraid to hurt you… and you were right.

he squeezed your ass again and his thrusts began to be so intense you had to hold into the bedsheets not to fall. You moaned loudly as he did. He slapped your ass again, now a slap that burned on your skin, but at the same time, didn't hurt. Just that right delicious incentive.

“Fuck, y/n” he growled. He was close, you could tell by how his movements began to lose rhythm. And after a few hard thrusts, he came. A loud sighed left his lips as he dropped his body on the bed.

you shifted to lie beside him, your breaths gradually slowing down as you both recovered. He raised one of his arms, inviting you to lay close to him. And so you did. Cillian turned his head to look at you, a genuine smile gracing his lips.

"That was..." he began, his voice still a bit husky, "...incredible." He reached out, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear, his fingers trailing down your cheek in a tender gesture.

You returned his smile, feeling a warmth spread through you. "Yeah," you agreed softly, your heart still racing.

He pulled you closer, his arm wrapping around you, and you nestled against his chest, your head resting on his shoulder.

You felt relieved you were able to go all the way with him. You felt a bit scared that it would end up like your previous date, but being with Cillian felt different.

His fingers traded random patterns in your back, as both your breathing were now normal. You lifted your head to look at him and smiled.

Cillian gently brushed his fingers through your hair, and you moved to place a kiss on his lips.

“Thank you for today” you said and he smiled

“Did you have a good time?” he said

“You bet I did” you chuckled

“Good, let's do it again then”

“Absolutely” you said and kissed his lips again.

He looked at his wristwatch and sighed “I have to go. Sile has Lukas for the night”

“Ok” you both sat up and began the search for the clothes around the room.

After getting dressed you accompanied him to the entrance of your building and you said goodbye with a gentle kiss.

Tags: I am currently working on the taglist for this series. If you want to get tagged leave a comment letting me know 😘