#i'm just feeling it particularly this time because it's a particularly big chapter (both in terms of length and content)

[uhbasicallyjustmilex]

current editing moodboard, please send help

[bonefall]

⭕️Hey Bones! Is it ok if you explain and/or elaborate how Crowfeather is abusive to Breezepelt if please?⭕️

I do KNOW that crowfeather is indeed, abusive to Breezepelt, due to the fact that he emotionally and/or physically neglected him - with child neglect being known to BE a form of child abuse - and I also heard that he slashed and/or hit him within one of the books, which I believe is in the book Outcast, in chapter 16.

But I also wish people would talk and be informed about it more within the fandom, because in the parts of the fandom I’ve known portrayed Crowfeather’s neglect on Breezepelt as negative and bad, but not in a way that made me think and/or feel: “Wow, that’s pretty bad. That’s…actually abusive.” I suppose? So I hope more people will talk about it more in that type of way.

Also, please be aware that I have NOT read PoT, OoTS, etc. or barely any warrior cats books, since the majority of the information I got from the series is from the wiki and the fandom, so that probably explains why I didn’t know this part of Crowfeather’s character is as bad as it actually is until now. Also, feel free to talk about Crowfeather’s abuse on Breezepelt I haven’t mentioned and/or don’t know right now as well if you want.

I’m SO sorry that if this ask is unintentionally quite long, and feel free to make sure to take all the time you need to answer it. Thank you!

OH LET'S GOOOO

Breezepelt is both physically and emotionally abused by Crowfeather. I'm not talking about only child neglect; he is screamed at, belittled, and even once hit on-screen.

The fact that Crowfeather both neglected and abused him is very important to the canonical story of Breezepaw. There's actually a lot more to this character than people remember! Even from his first appearances he displays good qualities, a strained relationship with his father and adult clanmates, and is clearly shown to be troubled before we understand why.

As many problems as I have with the direction of Breezepelt's arc (especially Crowfeather's Trial), his setup is legitimately a praiseworthy bit of writing from Po3 which carries over into OotS. To say that Breezepelt was not abused is to completely miss two arcs worth of books SCREAMING it.

BIG POST. Glossary;

INTRO TO BREEZEPELT: The Sight and Dark River

ABUSE: Outcast, Social Alienation, the Tribe Journey.

DARK FOREST: How these factors push him towards radicalization.

For "brevity," I'm not getting into anything post-OotS. I'm just showing that Breezepelt was abused, the narrative wants you to know that he was abused, and that his status as a victim of child abuse is CENTRAL to understanding why he is training in the Dark Forest.

INTRO TO BREEZEPELT: The Sight and Dark River

Our very first introduction to Breeze is when Jaypaw walks off a cliff in the first book of Po3 and is rescued by a WindClan patrol. He's making snarky remarks, and Whitetail and Crowfeather are not happy about it. Whitetail snaps for Crow to teach his son some manners, and Crow growls for Breezepaw to be quiet.

But our proper introduction to him is at his announcement gathering, when Heatherpaw playfully introduces him as a friend,

From the offset something's not entirely right here between Breezepaw and his father. He's cut off by Heatherpaw here, but he's touchy whenever his father is involved, and we're not entirely sure why.

Throughout Book 1, he's just rude, with a notable xenophobic streak. He's a bit of a mean rival character for Lionpaw, as they're both interested in the affections of Heatherpaw and make bids to get her attention, but nothing particularly violent yet.

He participates in the beloved Kitty Olympics and gets buried in liquid dirt with Lionpaw, basically a rite of passage for any arc.

(And Nightcloud has a cute moment where she watches over them until they fall asleep)

As the books progress, the relationship between Crow and Breeze visibly deteriorates. They start from being simply tense with each other in The Sight, to the open shouting and hitting we see in Outcast.

In the very first chapter of Dark River, we learn where his behavioral issues are really coming from;

Crowfeather.

Breezepelt is getting xenophobia from his father. Occasionally he says something bigoted and his dad will agree and chime in, and those are the only positive moments they have together.

(Note: In contrast, Nightcloud explicitly pushes back against xenophobia, chiding Breezepelt for his rudeness to Lionpaw in back in The Sight, Chapter 21. The Sight is the book where a lot of "evidence" that the Evil Overbearing Woman is actually responsible for the rift between father and son but. No. She's not. Though she can be overprotective; Crow and Breeze have a bad relationship when she's not even around in Breeze's first appearance and even his Crowfeather's Trial Epiphany refutes it. Anyway this post isn't about Nightcloud.)

So he starts acting on his bigotry, accusing cats in other Clans of stealing, running really close to the border. What's interesting though, is that this is not entirely his doing. The first time we get physical trouble from Breezepaw, DUSTPELT aggressed it. Breezepaw and Harepaw were just chasing a squirrel and hadn't yet gone over the border at all.

We learn that WindClan is teaching its apprentices how to hunt in woodland, and tensions between the two Clans is starting to escalate as ThunderClan isn't entirely trusting of their intentions.

The second time, fighting breaks out over him and Harepaw actually crossing the border and catching a squirrel. WindClan is adamant that because it came from their land, it's their squirrel. So it's as if Breezepaw is modelling the aggression around him, learning how to behave from the older warriors and his father.

When he joins Heatherpaw and The Three to go find Gorsetail's kits in the tunnels, he's grouchy towards the ThunderClan cats, but very gentle with the kittens. Notably so. When Thistlekit is dangerously cold, he cuddles up next to her, and even assures Swallowkit when she's scared,

Through this entire excursion, he's the one in the comforting roles for the kittens. Breezepaw is the one who is taking time to tell the kits they'll be okay, that he'll protect them, and physically supporting them when they're weak, even when he's terrified.

And it's always contrasted to Heatherpaw who's way more 'disciplined,' as a side note. It's a detail I'm just fond of.

All this to point out,

Breezepelt displays his best qualities when he's away from the older warriors of WindClan, and he's at his worst whenever he's near Crowfeather. Even while he's essentially just a bully character for The Three to deal with. He's gruff but cooperative when it's just him and Heatherpaw interacting with The Three, but mean when there is an adult to please.

We're getting to the on-screen abuse now, but Po3 actually sets up Breezepaw's troubles and dynamics well before it's finally confirmed that he is a victim of child abuse.

ABUSE: Outcast, the Tribe Journey.

In Outcast, Breezepaw's problems have escalated into open aggression towards cats of other Clans, and is now a legitimate concern for his own safety. Yet, he's spoken over by older warriors, and reprimanded at nearly every opportunity, right in front of the warrior of another Clan.

Squilf just asked the poor kid how his training was going, and then Whitetail JUMPS to talk over him so she can complain, RIGHT in front of his face.

They can't even wait until they're alone to grumble something rude about Breezepaw, who is still just a teenager here;

They taught him already that a bit of prey that runs off their own territory still belongs to WindClan, encourage him to blow past borders in pursuit, and started a battle with ThunderClan over this. And then they're pissed off at him for being aggressive, thinking it's deserved to scold him in public.

When Onestar announces that he wants Breezepaw to go on the Tribe Journey, he's devastated by it...

Because he thinks WindClan doesn't like him, and he's right. He's gossiped about, torn into in front of a ThunderClan warrior, and even his own dad doesn't want to be around him. It's clear that Breezepaw's impulsive "codebreaking" behaviors are a desire to prove himself, and once you realize that, the way that he's being alienated is heartbreaking.

But Wait!! Hold on a minute! Where did he get a "patrol of apprentices" from to confront the dogs with, exactly?

Simple. Breezepaw CAN make friends! He actually values them a lot! So much that it's the first thing Crowfeather snaps at him over, out of frustration that his son is also being forced on this journey with him. It's an angry response to his child having emotional and physical needs, resentment that will continue all journey long.

Note that it's plural, friends. Breezepelt has multiple friends, at least one who is not Heatherpaw, and she promises to say goodbye to them.

Up next, they state over and over, Crowfeather and Breezepaw do not like each other. Crowfeather resents being around him and dealing with his rudeness, embarrassed and angry, and Breezepaw is absolutely miserable being sent on a journey to the mountains with a man who hates his guts.

The whole while, Crowfeather is brooding longingly about Feathertail, already thinking about her as soon as he kitty-kisses Nightcloud goodbye, his eyes looking somewhere distant. He makes a jab about loyalty when Breezepaw doesn't understand why they're helping the Tribe.

Breezepaw gets smacked after he's "shoved" at Purdy and acts rude to him, while the other three manage to be polite (while still having internal dialogue about how stinky he is).

Without so much as a, "cut that out," Crowfeather raises his paw and hits him. Breeze is quiet after that.

I don't give a shit how rude your teenager is being. Do not hit kids. Being throttled on the head is not okay.

In spite of the Three not liking Breezepaw, or even Crowfeather, they're constantly noting that their arguments are not normal, and that Crow is a cold, unsupportive father who digs into his kid constantly, and the only time he ever DOES "discipline" his child it's through immediately smacking him.

At one point, the apprentices get hungry, and decide to foolishly hunt in a barn that they know has dogs in it against Purdy's warnings. Once again, JUST like the first two books, Breezepaw is more friendly when Crowfeather is not around.

EVERY time he is alone with cats his own age, he's grumpy but cooperative. Even enthusiastic at times! The minute Crowfeather is in the picture, he's nasty.

Naturally, the dogs show up, but Purdy rescues them. Though Brambleclaw also chews his kids out (and i have strong opinions about bramble's parenting style for another time), Hollypaw is taken aback by the contrast of what a scolding from Brambleclaw looks like vs how Crowfeather reacts.

The narrative is desperately trying to tell you that the way Crowfeather treats his son is not normal.

And then Crowfeather is pissed off that Breezepaw is exhausted from running for his life from hungry dogs,

And he's constantly losing his shit whenever Breezepaw says something as innocuous as "dad im hungry"

Then, Breezepaw is made to watch his dad pine over the grave of a woman who died long before Crowfeather was even considering his mother for a mate. What he feels is jealousy, because he knows his own father doesn't love him anywhere near as much as he loves the memory of Feathertail.

This really goes on and on and on. The ENTIRE trip is like this, with Crowfeather treating Breezepelt poorly, giving him a smack before even verbally warning him, pushing him past his limits and blowing up on him when he asks simple questions about eating or resting.

It all comes to a head in this one exchange, towards the end. Hollypaw ends up snapping at Breezepaw for his rudeness, before having an epiphany.

It's explicit. Crowfeather's emotional abuse, his "scorn" for Breezepelt, is what is driving a wedge between him and all of his older Clanmates. Between EVERYONE in Breezepelt's life who wasn't already his friend. This awful treatment is only making him worse and worse.

Realizing this, she has more sympathy for him, but it's too late. He continues to be rude to her because he feels insulted, and her patience completely runs out. She's just a kid. They're both just kids. She's not responsible for fixing him when he's pushing everyone away at this point.

That's the end of Breezepelt in Outcast. It can't be helped anymore. Any spark of friendship they had together in the barn, or in the tunnels, is gone.

As the series progresses, Crowfeather continues to refuse any personal responsibility for the mistreatment of his son, even pinning all of Breezepelt's behavioral problems on Nightcloud. He is a cold, selfish father who only ever thinks about his own pain and reputation.

DARK FOREST: How these factors push him towards radicalization.

Everyone talks about the Attack on Poppyfrost, which happens in the first book of OotS, in oversimplified terms. YES he is going after a nun and a pregnant woman. I've never said that's not Bad.

But no one talks about "WHY", and that reason is NOT just that he desires power like so many other WC villains. Breezepelt makes his motivation very clear on the page.

Escalating to violence was about making Jayfeather feel the way that he does.

When Breezepelt says that he wants Jay to be surrounded by "lies, hatred, and things that should never have happened," he's talking about the way HE grew up, knowing his father never wanted him, and that his Clan HATES him as a result. Killing Poppyfrost is about trying to frame Jayfeather for her murder, so ThunderClan won't trust him anymore.

When Jayfeather points out the simple truth that what Breezepelt is saying doesn't make any goddamn sense, his hatred "falters." He's blaming his half-clan half-brother for his own treatment because of the reveal, but totally failed to consider that JAYFEATHER'S ALREADY GOING THROUGH IT... so his response is just this pitiful, "s-shut up, man."

Then the ghost of Brokenstar and Breezepelt bounce him back and forth between them like a beach ball for a bit until Honeyfern's spirit shows up.

Breezepelt's childhood abuse and social alienation was a hook that the Dark Forest latched onto, to reel him in. His anger at his half-brother is so obviously misplaced that its absurdity was something Jayfeather pointed out.

We soon learn that it's the Dark Forest who's planting that ridiculous idea in his head;

The narration is SCREAMING, "The Dark Forest is validating the anger he feels towards his father, and redirecting it towards The Three." He's described as 'kitlike,' Tigerstar's eyes are compared to a hypnotizing snake.

This prose could not make it more obvious if it drove to your house, beat you with it, and then spoon fed you the point while you were hospitalized.

At the end of this scene, Tigerstar sends Hawkfrost to recruit Ivypaw. This scene where Breezepelt is being lovebombed, and the command to start grooming Ivypaw, ARE LINKED. That was a choice.

A VERY GOOD choice! Again, as many issues as I have with OotS, its handling of indoctrination is unironically fantastic, and it owes a good amount of that to the outstanding setup of Breezepelt that was done back in Po3. And that setup doesn't work if Crowfeather was merely distant.

Breezepelt was abused by his father, both verbally and physically. It drove him to be more aggressive to prove himself, modeling the battle culture around him. The adults of WindClan judged him based off Crowfeather's responses, shunning and belittling the 'problem' teenager, which eventually drove Breezepelt to the only group that he felt "understood" him.

In a book series that is RIFE with abuse apologia, this is one of the few times that there's any behavioral consequences for abuse and the narrative holds the perpetrator accountable for it.

But people hear Crowfeather's deflective excuse in The Last Hope where he says he never hated him, blames Nightcloud for everything, and just lick it up uncritically.

Gee whiz, I wonder why the guy who never blames himself for any of his problems would suddenly say it was his ex-wife's fault. Real headscratcher!

(Crowfeather's Trial then goes onto, for all my own problems with it, also hold Crow accountable as the reason why Breezepelt turned out like he did. But that's a topic for another day.)

[golden-cherry]

deal - cl16 (7/?)

Pairing: Charles Leclerc x Reader

Series Summary: Your whole life has gone to shit. Your boyfriend broke up with you, you just lost your job and the Monegasque, who suddenly stands in your doorway, claims that it’s his apartment.

Chapter Summary: Having a movie night is a good way to spend the evening with your roommate. If it were not for the wine that loosens the mouth.

Warnings: TENSION, FLIRTING (you've been warned), alcohol consumption, a Charles picture (badly edited), Cars (movie)

Word Count: 3k

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A/N: I'm sitting here like a fourteen year old whose crush admitted to liking her. that's how I'm feeling about this chapter. feedback is appreciated!

"You're kidding me."

"I would never."

Charles sets his wine glass on the coffee table as you clutch yours, though there's not a sip left in it. "How have you made it through life so far?"

You shrug. Charles looks at you with a look like you kicked a dog and insulted his mother. "I never got around to it."

That's only half the truth. Since you moved out of your parents' house, you'd actually had plenty of time to catch up on that sort of thing. But at some point you had decided for yourself that it was too late to get into it in your early twenties, when you should theoretically be out of it.

Apparently Charles doesn't see it that way. He reaches for the remote control and presses a few buttons until first a castle and then a bouncing lamp appear on the television in front of you. He then presses the stop button and turns back to you. "Get comfortable, because you're not getting off this couch again until we're done here." He places the bowl of popcorn between you on the couch. "And if you fall asleep, you'll have to watch the movie again."

You pour yourself some more wine and take a big gulp. As some of it runs out of the corner of your mouth, you wipe it away with the back of your hand. "Aren't we too old for this?"

Charles raises an eyebrow before pressing the play button. The screen goes black and you hear someone take a deep breath in and out before an off-screen voice says okay, here we go. focus. The grin on your roommate's face grows so wide it almost touches an ear. Speed. I am speed.

"You're never too old for Cars."

Apparently Charles not only works in the car industry, but is obsessed with cars. And even more so with this film. 

Out of the corner of your eye you can see that he is silently moving his mouth to speak along with every single character while you sit next to it, eating popcorn and drinking your wine. 

The beginning of the film doesn't particularly captivate you. An arrogant car with no team spirit as the protagonist. For sure he would make friends in the course of the film and appreciate them and then he wins his race. Very predictable. Even for a children's film. 

All you have to do now is stand there and let me look at you, Lightning McQueen says to the Porsche and you cringe.

"Wow, that's hardly bearable." You put a piece of popcorn between your teeth and wash it down with a gulp of wine. 

Charles, who has slid down a little further on the couch, looks at you. "Lightning or the whole movie?" He reaches for his glass on the table. 

You spread your index finger from the glass and point it at the screen. "Lightning. That was so slimy. Like anyone would fall for that." As Sally embarrasses the hell out of the red speedster, you thrust your fist into the air enthusiastically. 

Charles laughs. "So you're not into that sort of thing to seduce you?" He sips his wine, you shake your head. He props himself up on the seat with one elbow, resting his head in his hand, and stretches his legs out in your direction so that he's almost completely on the couch. He dangles the wine glass casually in his free hand. The film pauses. "How else can you be seduced?"

If you hadn't caught the phone call this lunchtime and the conversation with Joris, both of which involved a woman, you might think that Charles is flirting with you. That maybe he sees more in you than his roommate and friend. And if your ex-boyfriend hadn't spoiled your mood before - or generally not crossed your life - you'd go for it, too. 

You glance at Charles. He has taken off his jumper sometime after the second glass of wine and thrown it towards the dining table chair, so that he is lying next to you in his shirt. The strands of his hair stand on end after running his hand through them several times and his cheeks are slightly flushed. His green and otherwise alert eyes seem a little misty, almost certainly due to the alcohol. 

And his smile. God, his smile is so crooked and beautiful and his dimples give him something childishly cheeky that makes your heart beat a beat faster. 

Is he cute?, you hear Vicky's voice in the back of your mind. 

Damn cute, even. 

'Definitely not like that,' you finally answer his question, lowering your gaze towards your wine glass. If your mind is already drifting like this, maybe you should stop drinking. 

"How then?", Charles asks, his eyes fixed on you. 

Unsure, you look at him. "Why do you want to know?" Inwardly, you command your heart to give it a rest. Just because he asks doesn't mean he needs the knowledge for himself.

"Well, maybe one day a guy will come along who doesn't know how to approach you. And then I can give him a hint, if you want," he explains with a shrug, before taking a big sip of his wine and emptying his glass. 

You try not to let on how much his answer hits you. Somehow you hoped he would want to know that for himself, in case he decided to approach you at some point. But apparently you haven't been listening to Charles properly for the last few hours. 

That's what friends are for, after all. 

You're my friend. 

For not being a good friend to you. 

And friends who live together fight in between. 

Inwardly you slap your forehead with your palm. The wine is definitely to blame for your thoughts. 

"When you remember little things," you finally answer Charles' question and set your glass down on the table, which Charles seems to take as an invitation to top up, and before you can do anything about it he has refilled your glass. 

"Little things?" Charles lies back in his comfortable position and eyes you. 

You nod. "Yes. Like the fact that I think peonies are much prettier than roses, or that I prefer muffins to cupcakes. Little things like that, that define me." You shrug. "It just shows that the person has been paying attention and cared about me."

Charles nods, and you think he glances briefly at your almost empty wine bottle before reaching for the remote again. "Good to know."

The film continues and you decide that little blue Guido is your favourite character. As Lightning McQueen pulls yellow Betsy across the road and chats to Luigi and Guido, you raise your eyebrows in surprise. 

"Kind of strange to hear Formula One mentioned."

You notice Charles stiffen beside you, but his gaze remains forward. "Why?"

You reach - despite your brain vehemently telling you not to - for your glass. "Well, it's an animated film and the fact that Formula One is mentioned makes it kind of real. Although it's not. You know what I mean?"

"Do you watch Formula One, then?" asks Charles a counter-question, without answering yours. By now he is looking at you, but you can't interpret the expression on his face.

As you shake your head, he seems to relax a little. For whatever reason. "No. I used to watch it with my grandfather. Back when Michael Schumacher drove for Ferrari. We watched every race and cheered for the red team." You take a sip. "I lost sight of it at some point."

"Do you think you'd still be a Ferrari fan now if you'd stuck with it?" your roommate asks. Why he's so interested in it, you don't know. 

You point to the two Ferrari fans from Cars and smile. "Isn't everyone a Ferrari fan somehow? Even if they're not?" You turn back to the film and continue sipping your wine. 

Which is definitely not the best idea, because it seems to cloud your thoughts and loosen your mouth, because when Lightning decides to help Radiator Springs, it just bursts out of you. "Lightning is hot."

Charles, who has just taken a sip, chokes and nearly coughs his guts out. When he has calmed down, he looks at you, distraught. "Excuse me?"

"Yeeeees." You turn a little in his direction and pull your legs to your chest. You're sitting opposite each other now, except that Charles is lying down. "Not so 'wow, I'd like to fuck him'-hot. But his vibe makes him hot."

Charles wiggles his eyebrows. "I was once told I looked like him."

You have to laugh out loud, and you reach into the popcorn bowl once and throw it at him, laughing. He's not that quick to open his mouth to catch the pieces, but he gathers them up off his shirt and puts them between his teeth, grinning. 

"Why are you laughing like that? Someone actually said that once! Don't you believe me?"

You realise that the wine has gone to your head, because you can hardly stop laughing. You can hardly breathe and tears spring to your eyes, which you wipe away with the hem of your jumper. Your stomach hurts and you force yourself to breathe in and out deeply. "No, I believe you. But Lightning is just hot, and you're cute. There's a difference between the two."

Your sober self, which is napping somewhere deep in your brain, startles from its slumber and would love to slap you for it. 

Charles cheeks turn even redder and somehow the hem of his shirt seems very interesting because he rubs it between his thumb and forefinger before looking at you. "So you think I'm cute?"

This time he is quicker and catches the piece of popcorn you throw in his direction with his mouth and chews on it with relish. "Oh, come on. I'm definitely not the first one to say that to you," you try to somehow talk your way out of it. "I'm probably just the first to say that without flirting with you. My statement is to be considered purely objective."

"Objective, then?" He sits up a little straighter. "What would it look like if you were flirting?"

You put your wine glass down on the table and decide to actually let it go for today. You've definitely said too much, which you'd almost certainly regret tomorrow, and just thinking about how weird things might get in the morning makes your blood rush to your ears. So you reach for the popcorn. "I'm not doing that to you."

Your roommate raises an eyebrow in confusion. "Why? Are you that bad?" he quips.

You shake your head playfully. "On the contrary. I'm so good at it, you'd fall in love with me instantly," you joke, and have to grin, but Charles doesn't return it. 

"Don't worry," he replies without taking his eyes off you. "It takes more than that to make me fall head over heels in love with someone."

You'd love to ask what exactly it takes, but why should you care? You're friends, he's made that clear. And you should definitely get it through your head. In your drunken estimation, the line of friendship you're walking right now is clearly too narrow for your liking. 

You purse your lips and watch the film in silence. The mood has changed, no longer as easy-going as it was a few minutes ago. You would like to say something, but you don't know what, so you sit still. 

When you reach the point in the film where Lightning pushes the King across the finish line - against your expectations - to finish third in the Piston Cup, you can't stop the sob that leaves your mouth. Out of the corner of your eye you see Charles looking at you. And then all the dams break.

"How can a film about cars - about cars, Charles - make me cry like this?" You wipe away your tears. "This isn't normal. What's the point? It's a movie for kids, for fuck's sake."

Charles' smile is gentle. "No swear words, please. The film is my favourite."

"The film is first class." You try to breathe but hiccup as a result and Charles has to laugh slightly. "Oh, shit. Do kids even understand how important the message is? That it doesn't matter if you win or not as long as you do the right thing and have your friends around you?" 

"There are two more parts, by the way. We can watch those too if you like," Charles suggests and he looks a little offended when you shake your head and get up from the couch. 

"Let me process this movie first and then we'll see." You grab the empty wine bottles and glasses to take them to the kitchen. Charles grabs the bowls and you put the dishes in the sink. Neither of you would manage to wash them properly yet and with a single glance you silently agree to clean up the rest of the living room in the morning. 

You go together to the bathroom where you get ready for bed. You are brushing your teeth when your gaze catches his in the mirror. You smile at him. "But I would love to watch the films with you. I had a lovely evening, if that wasn't clear." You spit some excess foam into the sink. "Thank you for that."

Charles sticks his thumb in the air and washes his mouth out before answering you. "Anytime." He places his toothbrush in his cup. "I haven't had this much fun watching a movie in ages." As he looks at you, his gaze goes through your skin and bones. "Thank you for forgiving me. I couldn't bear it if you were angry with me."

As he combs his hair with a brush - yours - you rinse out your mouth as well. It's so mundane the way the two of you get ready for bed next to each other, as if you've grown up together and not as if you've only known each other for exactly one day. This familiarity between you should feel strange, but you have to admit yourself that nothing has ever felt better. 

"I don't think I can stay mad at you for long." You tie your hair into a braided pigtail, which takes a little longer than usual because of the wine. "I like you far too much for that."

You don't wait for his answer, but leave the bathroom, grabbing your camera and phone for a moment. "Do you have your AirDrop on?" you ask him. "So I can send you the photo."

"Oh, yeah. Hang on a sec." He rummages around among the cushions on the couch for a moment until he pulls out his phone and taps away on it. You look at your screen, and see "CL iPhone" flashing up. You press his name and the picture your camera automatically sent to the phone app is now sent to Charles. He looks at it for a moment. "I look so good."

"Don't get too carried away," you laugh and move towards the bedroom door while Charles gets his bedding from the wardrobe in the hall. You watch him for a moment as he gets his things ready. "Good night, Lightning."

His smile is so gentle you could melt. "Good night."

After closing the bedroom door behind you, you slip into your sleeping clothes and climb under your duvet. With your phone in your hand, you lie down on your side. You release the key lock and Charles' picture appears. 

He is right. He does look good in it. 

Just as you are about to plug your phone into the charger and put it away, a message pops up on the screen. 

CL iPhone would like to share a photo

Surprised, you click on "Accept". 

You giggle and think about sending a picture back, but don't. "You can sleep in your bed tomorrow," you shout across the flat and receive a "Thank you!"

Grinning, you snuggle into your pillow and force yourself not to stare at the picture he just sent you. It's almost cheeky how he can still look so good after such a long day and a bottle of wine. 

You put your phone next to your pillow and turn onto your back. To cope with this situation, you have to draw clearer lines. And lock away the thoughts that are running around in your head in between. 

You have a crazy ex. And there's something going on with Charles too, although you don't know what exactly. It definitely wouldn't be the right time for either of you to develop feelings for someone. And as often as he's referred to you as his friend, you want to spare yourself the shame of falling for someone who doesn't want you. 

You put your forearms over your face. 

You have known each other for twenty-four hours. How can someone be so etched in your mind after such a short time? 

You blame your emotional state on the wine, close your eyes and try to think of something else. Of cute penguins, puppies, sheep. But the thoughts circle and circle and always find their way back, as if they only know this way. 

Always back to Charles. Charles. Charles. Charles.

next part

[cerastes]

I've seen people before saying that, in terms of presentation, NIKKE delivers it better than Arknights in telling what they want to tell. And I still see this occasionally whenever people start comparing stories in gacha games. Looking at your post, seems like that wasn't a lie at all.

Right, this is an interesting topic for me, so let me give my two cents on this.

I would say that statement is generally true. Nikke's main strengths are its presentation and knowing how to leverage its strengths in general, but let's focus on presentation: It's story is nothing to write home to (note that I am up to Chapter 18), neither are its events (on this regard, take me lightly, I've only read three), but what Nikke wants to say, you will very clearly understand. It's good at telling its story. Sometimes the localization will have Localization Moments (Chatterbox is described as female in the first cutscene he is mentioned, male every time afterwards; there's a lot of clearly literally translated little expressions that make no sense in the flow of the conversations), but overall, even though you're looking at a story that in a lot of ways you've seen a lot of times, its particularities stand out because Nikke tells them properly, concisely, and clearly. Characterization is consistent, and there's a good amount of care clearly put into both consistency and overarching important parts of the narrative; a favorite example of mine is how, in the tutorial, if you pay close attention, you can actually see Marian's eyes glow red during her reload animation, foreshadowing something pretty important that happens with her later.

So even if the story beats are not particularly good or intriguing -- and sometimes, outright terrible, like in Chapter 18 oh god I hate Chapter 18 -- you at least can tell with clarity what's going on and why it's going on.

Arknights has the yang to the yin here, somewhat: The stories on Arknights tend to range from okay to great, and AK events have a habit of going pretty damn hard, either as a whole or at least parts of them. Sometimes, however, they have a weakness, and this weakness is that the actual story telling can be dense. Density is often attributed to good writing, but the truth is, sometimes, the text isn't advanced, it's simply clumsy, and the prose in Arknights is decidedly clumsy. But when you actually untangle the spaghetti of clumsy prose, you find some strong story telling, strong characterization, and topics you don't often find discussed in video games, less so in gacha. You kinda have to work for it, basically.

Something Nikke does good is also that it keeps its relevant cast at any given story beat low, giving it more cohesion, or rather, making it easy to stay cohesive, because Arknights can handle larger casts pretty well sometimes, but I'll be frank, the current main story has so many literal whos to keep track of that I'm supposed to be invested in that I don't really bother. I'm sorry, but I can't really feel a damn thing about Outcast when she showed up for a few scenes and then got nuked off by a contrivance while fighting some faceless nobodies we are told we should fear.

But on the other hand, Nikke narrative, again, despite its strong delivery, is still built on a feeble base for the most part. I only think of a few characters I care about in Nikke, because a lot of the cast is just fluff and Obligatory Archetypes (bunny girls, school girls, maids, etc), whereas in Arknights, I care about a whole damn lot of them, even those without events, because their files and modules paint a very integral and intriguing picture of them. Even smaller scenes in Arknights sometimes can have a big emotional impact, due to its extensive and well crafted worldbuilding and its clever use of its elements in every event, something Nikke cannot claim, because worldbuilding in Nikke is almost non existent.

They both have their strengths, basically, and it's fascinating to me, a writer, to take a deeper look at them.

[factual-fantasy]

28 ASKS! :DD THANK YOU!! 🍪

@spiritflower-galaxy (Thank you! :DD)

WAIT HANG ON NO NO--

I'm not getting into cookie run! I don't play the games or know any of the lore. Nor am I particularly motivated to really learn much about it on my own time..

I want to clarify that I just really liked the art style! <:D All the colors and themed characters,, it looked really fun! So I scraped together all the knowledge I needed to make some characters for it and then stopped there..

Now I'm not against people rambling in my ask box and doing all the lore research for me.. 👀💅.. just saying that I'm not going out of my way to learn the cookie run lore on my own time- <XDD

(Post in question)

I didn't have a name in mind for him, no.. :(( though he might be named something moth related. If I could access my files- I would have shown you that he was meant to have moth wings! :00

@youlikwjazz004

I haven't seen chapter 3 or any of the angst about it.. <:( sorry!

@taizarack (Post in question)

XDD She really is a goblin. And because she is the most powerful member of the group, no one can really tell her no-

Daww, thank you!! :DD

@drawingdragon7

I've thought about that! :0 I just never got around to drawing it <XDD 💔 Some kind of leather pads that they tie to his feet. Kind'a like cursed horseshoes <XDD

Thank you so much!! 🥰🥰 I wish the same for you!! :}}

.. well? Does she taste good? :0 I imagine a cookie with tomato and meat in it wouldn't taste the best-- XDD

:DDD Thank you! :}}

XD Everything is a 10/10 to her!

@catpop12343

:DD THANK YOU! I'm glad you like what you see! :}}}

@couchwow

I love the art style! And wow, Bluey?? Bingo?? Who let you two into the radiation cabinet?-- XDD /pos

Idk if they would necessarily.. bond.? Over their similar traumas?.. but perhaps there would be a level of understanding between them.

Like, if Papyrus has these strange specific fears or habits due to his trauma. No one would know how to handle it, or understand it better than Jevil could.

....Maybe that's exactly what you meant by bonding over their trauma and I'm just dumb-- <XDD

And how easy it was to dispose of them. Thats haunting XD

(Post in question)

Thank you! :D And aw, what a shame. I had a lot of fun with that movie :(

@raptor1312

XD Well I'm not into the games exactly-- but thank you! I'm very glad to hear that you like my OCs!! :DDD

(Post in question)

Aw, I'm really sorry actually. I felt the same way in the end. I felt like having this really creepy and twisted story with Papyrus as the focus was interesting and fun!.. But not giving him any kind of salvation.? That made it not fun anymore. It was just plain sad. :(

And don't worry about the "possible" part. Its totally canon now XD Papyrus canonically gets yoinked from his sad AU and finds peace with his new friends. :)

As for Seam and Jevil, its.. complicated.

They kiiind'a keep him at arms length..? And its mostly due to the trauma they associate with him and the fact they feel so bad for having abandoned him. They just don't know what to say..

But of course, Papyrus has such a big heart. He fully understands that they're not super comfortable around him just yet. So he kindly gives them space and avoids the subject around them.

Not to worry though. Eventually the tension will dissolve and he will build true friendships with the both of them. :)

@chickenheadguy

Its nice to not have to do any of the research myself I tell you what! XDD

@citrusfruitman

XDD Ok so the story with that is-- in my Sister Location AU I'm thinking that William Afton is using his circus as a front to go from town to town murdering kids..

What I mean about Funtime Freddy being safe to hug "for now".. is that I haven't fully decided if I want William to murder kids by having the animatronics snatch them up.. Ooorr if he just uses them/the circus as one big lure and distraction and does all the murdering himself.

So far I kiiind'a like the idea that the animatronics are innocent and aren't used as tools to murder kids. But that could change. So Freddy is safe to hug!.. For now.. :)

If they somehow ended up there they'd probably just hide in the shadows. If it seems safe and they can find food? They'll stay a while! :}

(Post in question)

Same here! Ngl I was expecting a negative response to those drawings. Considering how insane the movie is- Glad I'm not the only one who had fun with the movie or at least saw its potential! :D

@butshesgotthespirit

:DDD THANK YOU!!! I'm so glad you like how I reimagined them!! :}}

XD I remember that ask, I shall respond to this one with the same images!

"But you haven’t seen my face before..

…right….?"

(WOW these drawings are old. Bibi isn't even there! <XD💔)

@oliepoki

I wish I actually had anything to tell you XD those 3 characters are a bit underdeveloped--

So far though I've planned that Urchin and Cuttlefish are besties. Think Bratty and Catty from Undertale..? I had plans for Cuttlefish to be an experienced pirate that came from another crew. She somehow became indebted to Seafoam and by the time she paid her debt.. she was really attached to the crew. So she stuck around.

Though with her personality being sly and crafty.. I would expect her to find a way to slip through the crew fingers and escape instead of paying her debt. Soooo that backstory might be given to another character or at least has to be altered in some way..

For Spider Crab I'm playing around with the idea that he is the crews medic. Also I think him, Louis and Octo would be friends. I can see Louis always dragging Spider into doing fun activities with the rest of the crew XD Also Him and Octo are close becuase they both understand/respect each others space... that and Octo isn't loud and obnoxious like Louis is XDD

That's unfortunately all the info those characters have atm.. thank you for taking interest in them though! :DD It makes me very smile :}}

GASP!! :000 THANK YOU SO MUCH!! :}}} Right back at you!! :DD 👉👉✨✨✨

[1moreff-creator]

DRDT + Milgram AU: Undercover (Introduction)

Finally succumbed to the Urges and came up with ideas for a full Danganronpa Despair Time - Milgram AU, and now I feel like sharing. This means giving each character a MV + VD concept (not a full VD though I ain’t writing that much dialogue, and not a full MV because who do you think I am), plus this Undercover post! I’m not sure if I’ll commit to this for a full three trials, or I’ll just drop it after just one, but I can guarantee I’ll do this trial in full. Feel free to make analysis posts (no pressure obvs), but also obvs don't expect this to be that good, I'm doing this for fun.

And if you come from the Milgram side, uh... have fun? I am curious about what people with no prior conceptions of these characters would think, but I do recommend DRDT if you haven't watched it (the overlap between the fandoms is non-trivial, I imagine you'll like it). If not, you should probably look up the character designs at least, but be wary that there will be DRDT spoilers.

As an obvious disclaimer just in case, I am not affiliated with either DRDT or Milgram in any way, this is just a fanmade AU done entirely for fun.

Basic Concept

Pretty simple. What if the 16 students of DRDT were prisoners in Milgram? This means they're all "murderers" by some loose definition of the word, implying most of their backstories must be changed to acommodate for that. For the prisoner pairs, I just paired them based on the Chapter 1 recap. The rest is pretty self-explanatory provided you know how Milgram works; three trials, vote Forgiven/Unforgiven, etc. I won't repeat it all here. You can go to the official Milgram YT channel for more information if you're not familiar.

Meet Es

Although they are of unspecified adult age, this universe’s Es is very similar to canon Es from the main series, at least in appearance. The only differences are red highlights in their hair, as well as sharp yellow eyes and taller height. They also wear arm sleeves on both their arms, being particularly adverse to people touching the left one, and their voice is slightly higher pitch. As for their personality… well, you’ll have to wait for the VDs, right? But as a heads up, they’re quite a bit nicer than canon Es, though they can still get pretty strict with the prisoners. 

(Can you tell who they’re connected to yet?)

Their uniform is the same as canon, including the band thing which in Milgram runes reads “reciffO eciloP”. The only difference is that their other band thing is longer and has the following runes:

(As a heads up, since there's no rune for 'q' I just used the rune for 'c/k' in its place. You probably don't need to translate it all to know what this says if you're familiar with DRDT lore)

Jackalope is replaced by DRDT canon MonoTV, no big changes to its personality. It still breaks the fourth wall and talks to an audience,which is odd for the prisoners (and Es) seeing as there is no audience in-universe (at least, that's what it claims). 

*Es’ VD is mostly the same, besides changes in dialogue caused by the difference in personalities. The only real difference is that there is no ‘extra cell.’

*Cover is still Hibana. 

Alright, let's get to the fun stuff.

Undercover

(It is highly recommended you know what the canon Undercover looks like before reading this, since a lot of it is pretty similar)

The opening is still the same minus Es' different appearance and MonoTV replacing Jackalope, and only starts changing when the prisoners begin showing up.

(Don’t- Don’t expect this to actually work as a song btw. I’m not insane enough to make that work)

UNDER Split in between decisions, my conscious is made up of torn stitches

Levi (01) holds a mostly neutral expression as he holds up his prisoner card, which displays his face alongside an image of an alleyway. His pose keeps changing slightly in smash cuts. Levi’s face darkens right before there’s a switch to the next prisoner.

(Note: I won’t mention the pose switching and the face on the card all the time, since that’s part of canon Undercover. Just assume it always repeats)

UNDER The beauty in simplicity, wilting with rising complexities

Arturo (02) has his chin up arrogantly at first, showing a prisoner card with a picture of a bathroom. He scoffs and turns around before the switch. 

UNDER A liar? No, that’s wrong! My honesty shines like a star in the night

David (03) (speaker persona) smiles nervously, rubbing at his cheek with a finger. His card shows a bedroom. He covers his face with his free hand, sighing before the switch.

UNDER A sinner? No, you’re kidding! I’m innocent as can be, just don’t mind the gaps

Whit (04) throws a cheeky grin to the camera, doing a finger gun with his free hand. His card shows a park. He nervously rubs the back of his neck before the switch.

(Note: Yes I gave him 04 because of the tetraphobia thing sue me-)

UNDER With a fury and a passion, unstoppable, show them your fangs

Ace (05) snarls at the camera. His card shows a city street. He throws it to the floor angrily before the switch. 

(Note: Sometimes I wasn't quite able to tie their talent to their murder, so it's either tangential to their story or has been replaced with something similar. I am mentioning this with Ace for... no reason in particular, sure, you'll believe that)

UNDER Your fears and anxieties, Respond to the stress, show me fight or flight

Nico (06) hides under the part of their cloak which looks like a scarf, peeking out nervously. Their card shows a locker room. They take a step back as the scene switches.

INSERT CHORUS HERE

UNDER Each existence is like no other, Lucky, unlucky, showtime reaches all

J (07) holds up her card with an unsatisfied expression. It shows a bridge surrounded by camera equipment. She rolls her eyes as the scene switches.

UNDER And yet, it’s all the same In the end, this wretched still life goes on

Rose (08) yawns as she holds up her card lazily. It shows a large dining room. The card slips from her hand as she falls asleep.

UNDER It’s too much, too much, I’m high strung, please forgive my sins

Hu (09) looks nervous, glancing around as if to find a place to hide. Her card shows a zither in a non-descript room. She drops her card, and closes her eyes with a pained expression, a hand on her chest. 

UNDER Please do condemn me, Bloodletting, the horror inside us is what makes me feel.

Veronika (10) spins and gives the camera a bright smile as she pulls out her card. It shows a rooftop. She throws the card in the air dramatically, laughing as it spins around and falls beside her. Her eyes fall back on the camera, and she smirks menacingly. 

UNDER  Unopposable, incontestable Merry kings, life’s queens, for me they bow down.

Arei (11) is sticking out her tongue and looking to the side dismissively. Her card shows a bowling alley. She laughs into her hand before the scene switch.

UNDER My weakness haunts me, Alarm bells are ringing, there's no going back.

Eden (12) fidgets with her hands, shaking nervously. She hides her face behind her card as she shows it, but her teary eyes are still visible over it. The card shows a bedroom full of clocks. She cries into her hands before the switch. 

INSERT CHORUS HERE

[The music winds down, a bridge of sorts. As it plays, a few scenes are shown, where only the characters’ silhouettes are visible, white noise covering them]

[01: A steaming kettle covers most of the foreground. In the background, Levi is seen sitting at a table, head slumped forward. Most of the table is visible, but no one else is in the frame]

[02: Arturo is seen to the left, holding a white turtle neck shirt in his hands. Behind him, an open suitcase sits on a bed, clothes splayed haphazardly around it]

[03: David stands alone on an empty stage, arms wide out. The spotlights are all on him. The entire stage and some of the front row seats are visible, with David’s silhouette only covering a small part in the center of the frame]

[04: A computer monitor covers almost the entire frame. There are countless photos and words, but they’re all too blurry to see, with the exception of a small message on top which reads “Analyzing profiles…” Whit is reflected on the screen, resting his head on one of his fists]

[05: Ace sits on a motorcycle, looking up and admiring the night sky which takes up most of the frame]

[06: Nico is crouched beside a cat, holding out a pink mouse toy for it to play with. Only their legs are visible, but there is a puddle of water under Nico]

[07: J has her palm spread out all over the screen, as if blocking the camera. There are flashes of light behind her, but the source is impossible to see]

[08: Rose sits slumped in a chair, hands on her face. All around her, dozens of canvases can be seen, painted entirely in black. Small bits of color poke out at the bottom, but no full paintings are visible]

[09: The camera is entirely focused on the top of a zither. Hu’s hand is visible, touching the strings with her plectra]

[10: Only Veronika’s footwear is visible over a dark floor. The rest of the scene is filled entirely by blood]

[11: Arei stands in front of a bathroom mirror. She’s holding the right side of her hair, the only part that’s visible. It looks very unevenly cut]

[12: Eden is holding her head in her hands, slumped over a work desk full of small machinery. Behind her are a multitude of analog clocks of various designs, all showing the same time; 6:00]

[13: Min is sitting on a chair, slumped forward and apparently collapsed over a notebook. A pen sits just beside her right hand. A bit of the writing can be seen, showing this:]

[The brown part being Min's hair. Don't make fun of me I'm using Paint and have zero art skills]

[14: Xander, the focus of the shot, stands in front of a crowd, standing on a simple chair. His fist is in the air, and so are the fists of everyone in the crowd]

[15: Charles is kneeling over a grave, the name on it hidden behind the silhouette. Charles is pulling at his hair with his hands. Other graves are visible around him, but the edges of the screen are darkened and it’s impossible to see them well]

[16: Teruko’s hand is reaching out to a black figure, this one without white noise. The figure is completely non-descript, more a simple shadow than a proper silhouette. Blinding white light surrounds this figure] 

UNDER No mistakes, no corrections, 100% Perfection, results shall not vary. 

Min (13) wears a neutral expression, and she holds her card perfectly upright. Her pose changes only to match the exact angles actual mugshots use. Her card shows an untidy bedroom. Before the switch, she lowers her hand, and looks briefly to the side, before turning back to the camera. When she does, her left eye flashes magenta behind her hair. 

UNDER Fighting for true justice, Stand strong, a reflection of the will of the many

Xander (14) is glaring at the camera, moving his card around flippantly. Said card shows a window overlooking an entire city. Xander throws the card away before throwing a punch at the screen.

UNDER Leave no room to hide, No hesitation, a chain reaction of truth unfolds

Charles (15) looks serious, if a bit annoyed as he holds up his card. It shows a laboratory table with several test tubes. He turns his back to the camera, adjusting his goggles, but gives one last, softer look behind him as the scene switches. 

UNDER Or shall the secrets remain? What lies beyond the lies, armageddon untold

Teruko (16) looks at the camera with cold eyes, but a hint of a frown on her lips. Her pose never changes; unlike everyone else, her segment is one continuous shot. It starts with her holding her card at an angle such that only her face is visible on it. She closes her eyes solemnly, before finally flipping her card around so only the backside is shown. It has the Milgram logo combined with the DRDT logo. She never shows the rest of the front of the card, as the scene switches moments after. 

[Pre-chorus, as the prisoners hold their hands to their mouths before a scene of them smiling plays. At the end, for a few frames, a white camellia blooms, before there’s a sudden shift in scenery as we hit the final chorus. All the prisoners’ silhouettes have a still shot each with Es, with a blood splatter always under the latter. The scene starts to focus on each individually]

[Levi’s punching Es in the face, Es thrown to the floor from the impact. Brass knuckles are barely visible on his hand. Levi’s shouting, as are all the other prisoners]

[Arturo is kneeling, facing away from Es. The latter is laying on the floor behind him in what would be a pretty uncomfortable position. Arturo is holding his head in his hands, his mouth visible from the side and open in a shout. One of Es’ shoes is off]

[David is holding Es by the neck of their shirt, shouting at their face (from now on I’ll stop clarifying that they’re shouting). The following symbol appears over where his eyes would be, glowing yellow: 正] EDIT: I forgot to mention one of Es’ shoes is off. RIP to the theorists I’m so sorry-

[Whit is pointing what looks to be a gun at Es, who is recoiling as if they’ve been shot in the heart]

[Ace is seen running, Es’ body falling to the ground beside him and twisting as if they’d been bumped into]

[Nico sits on top of Es’ back. With one of their hands, they’re grabbing onto Es’ hair and apparently pushing it forward. With the other they’re holding two ends of a wire firmly planted on Es’ neck]

[J stands normally, pointing what seems to be a remote control at Es. The latter is face-up on the floor, their limbs contorted in unnatural angles]

[Rose is standing, facing away from Es, who is kneeling and grabbing at their throat. A small jar sits beside them, the cap taken off]

[While standing, Hu is grabbing Es by the throat with both hands, blood coming from the Warden’s throat]

[Veronika is kneeling besides Es’ face-up body. Her hands are on her chest, and there is blood under her as well as the Warden. Meanwhile, Es’ limbs are contorted in unnatural ways, and one of their shoes is off]

[Arei is violently swinging a bowling ball at Es’ head, causing their body to twist around as it falls]

[Eden is standing, covering her eyes. Her right hand has a Ⅵ symbol glowing bright yellow. Es is uncomfortably laying face-up on the floor]

[Min is standing with her back turned to Es, who is kneeling on the floor and grasping at their neck. Min is shouting into a landline phone. Along her arm, an equation glows bright yellow:

ln(x³ - 2 . 13) = 0]

[Xander is grabbing Es’ shoulder, plunging a knife into their stomach]

[Es is standing neutrally, but there is still blood on the floor. A glowing yellow question mark floats above them. Charles is nowhere to be seen]

[Teruko is kneeling calmly besides Es, who is lying face-up with their hands crossed over their chest as if in a coffin. A question mark glows on Teruko's left hand. Teruko is the only prisoner besides Charles who is not screaming]

[The song winds down while a sped up and translucent version of the video plays in the background. A shadow begins growing in the middle, and for just a moment, two sharp yellow eyes stare at the camera from the center of the screen. The finale simply has Es exiting to the left as they do in canon Undercover]

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

And there's Undercover! How we feeling? Hope you enjoyed! Take care!

[the-depths-au]

FAQ

*this post continues heavy totk spoilers

How did it start?

A lot of people started posting some really cool art of a TotK ending where Zelda returns as a hybrid dragon creature thing. I saw a few that called it a “bad” ending and I noticed she was often portrayed with dominantly human-features just like, with horns or a tail, or the purple eyes, etc. I love to play video games(clearly) and I enjoy the challenge of seeing various endings, not just “secret endings” (think Heavy Rain, Until Dawn, The Witcher 3, Drakengard- anyone else play this?) I got to thinking about how her coming back didn’t really like a true “bad ending”. To me, a bad ending, really, would be one in which she didn’t get to magically, miraculously come back in any form. A bad ending to me would be Mineru’s warning held true. And in doing so, it would become The Legend of Zelda because she becomes the stuff of myths. Of true Legend. Fulfilling destiny (botw-era and the series as a whole). My brain sort of took off from there regarding the implications this would have on Hyrule and specially, our boy Link.

How could you! A Bad ending? Is this story at least hurt and eventual comfort??? Does it have a happy ending??

I could tag this hurt and comfort, but usually people who read these types of stories have certain expectations of what “comfort” is (and that’s okay!). Same with a “happy” ending. I don’t need stories to be wrap up in a bow with warmth to enjoy them. Honestly, some of the stories that have touched me the most over the years have had “sad” endings/negative character arcs/tragedy. That being said, I don’t particularly enjoy pure whump, either. What I feel is most important and what I am to do with this story, is to make any suffering meaningful. With purpose. And hopefully- maybe- you’ll see the “comfort” that is possible even in these types of stories.

Wait! So Zelda remains a dragon?

Yes. They defeat the demon dragon. Rauru and Sonia appear in a silent thanks, then they disappear and Link falls from the sky alone into the water. The Light Dragon continues along in her flight above him.

Link is also the only one who can see/has ever seen the Light Dragon.

Are there any other major changes from TotK?

It follows the game pretty closely. It’s just hard to say exactly what is in this story from TotK because there is just so much. In BotW, I headcanon Link took his time. He doesn’t remember anything. He is alone, lost, and the world is a vast, broken place. Therefore, it is plausible/ realistic in my head for all the side questions to be done prior to the ending being reached. In TotK, especially with the headcanon he and Zelda were together in the time between BotW and TotK, I had a hard time imagining Link would waste much time on anything unnecessary to save Zelda. So, with this in mind, I’ve had to justify the side questions to include in the story. Link’s journey is a bit different than my own. Whereas I actually spent 80% of my playthrough exploring the depths, this Link only went down when necessary. Meaning many of the lightroots have not been unlocked and he only has part of the armor of the depths. In the Linktober and the early concept, he has the entire set but this has been changed for the main comic.

How far after the events of TotK does this take place?

Five years.

Is it completely planned out?

Yes. I have a complete rough story outline done. It’s 17 chapters. I am anticipating some editing as I go, but regardless, it’s a big project. A huge shout out to @zeldaelmo and @fioreofthemarch for helping me get the story set. They are both phenomenal writers for the LoZ fandom so be sure to check them out!

What happened to the comic?

I made the decision to tell this story (initially) in writing. I have a very specific style in mind for this story as a full comic and honestly, I just don't feel like my artistic ability and overall proficiency is where I want it to be at this time. I'm still learning! I will be continuing to post art, concept art, and some comic panels here as I go and eventually, I would love to adapt the story into a full comic, but for now, I'll be telling the main story in writing.

How long have you been drawing?

I’ve been drawing all my life. Just for fun, although I took a few classes in school. Digitally, self-taught, since fall 2022. Still very new to this with lots to learn! I have a minor in creative writing and feel much more confident and comfortable with that.

Feel free to send me a DM with questions anytime! I plan to update this periodically.

Last updated 2/26/24

[gabriel-xander]

I Wish You Died Instead Ch. 4

[Scaramouce x Fem!Reader]

A/N: I started writing this before all of his lore came out/Before the last Sumeru Archon quest, so there will be a handful of inconsistency later on. My advice to you? Just go with it!

{Also on Quotev, Ao3, and Wattpad under Gabriel Xander}

Chapter 4: You are an Embarrassment

The trip was a bit awkward in your opinion. Not once have you had to endure Scaramouche's company alone. Never had he allowed an expedition with less than five subordinates (NOT including yourself) with him, let alone just you.

You two matched in terms of immediate attire: long, thick coats that reached to your calves, the seams lined with thick fur. Neither of you had your hoods up, in your boss' case, it was because he was wearing his big ass hat. Your fatui mask was getting uncomfortably cold against your face.

It was silent the entire trip, minus the few, quiet swears from the cold, and frustrated grumbling from you as you took this time to review new reports.

The budget from a recent mission you had was smaller than you expected, so you were trying to do the math quietly. You were trying to determine how much of a percentage raise you'd need to include for next time. Your usual deployment was a consistency of five different Skirmishers and two Mirror Maidens.

Including yourself, that's eight mouths to feed, eight wardrobes to prepare, eight bodies to equip weapons to, eight people to provide efficient funds to-

"Oh!"

You cheer suddenly as you scribble on the paper with lead. It's a material that had originated from Fontaine: a thin, wooden stink with black graphite in the center. It was a lot more convenient than inks and brushes.

You hope you're actually writing though, night had just arrived so it was hard to see what you're writing.

You continue to babble out loud without realizing: "I just need to add 13%, then an additional 20% for the send-off fee-"

"-Shut up."

"You shut up."

…

…

Wait.

FUCK!

The materials from your hands disappear into the aether as you frantically wave your hands in defense, stepping away from the pissed off Scaramouche.

"WH-I-I DIDN'T MEAN IT! I-I AM SO SORRY, MY LORD! I-IT'S A HORRIBLE HABIT I HAVE WITH MY COMRA-"

"-You're dead."

"I'M SORRRYYYYY."

You don't waste a fucking second before you're running the fuck away. Lucky for you, you've done more traveling in Snezhnaya than Scaramouche has. Running in the thick snow was a breeze for you as you had learned the hard way on how to tread these lands.

Scaramouche on the other hand…

"Get back here right now!"

The poor dude was stumbling in the cold with uneven footing that helped the winds push him around. You think you can fire not too far-

"OW!!"

Hot, white pain shoots up your spine, causing you to drop to your knees. You look back at the Balladeer with so much judgement in your eyes.

"DID YOU JUST FUCKING ZAP ME!?!?"

"Get the fuck over here!"

"Not until you calm down!!"

You scramble back to your feet only to get fucking tackled by the damn Harbinger. Unfortunately, neither you nor Scaramouche realized that you were right by a cliff; you both fell over and rolled down the snow.

Instinctively wanting to protect the Harbinger at all cost (despite the fact he wants to kill you), you hug him tightly to your body while forcing your shoulders back into the snow. The friction does little good to slow you down, but it keeps you two from rolling like dumb-asses.

And all too sudden, your body hits a particularly sharp rock. It does manage to stop you and Scaramouche, but you also feel it pierce through your thick coat.

You survived, but at what cost?

You won the battle, but lost the war.

Your entire backside is unbearably cold, and you think you can feel blood beginning to seep from where the rock is jabbing.

You relax your arms from Scaramouche, panic that he's not moving (but he is breathing slightly fast). You noticed his hat had fallen off, but it was okay since you could see it slowly slide down the hill, bumping against your feet.

Shit. Your mask is gone too.

But first things first…

You awkwardly tap his arm, "Are you oka-"

"-Well, well, well. What do we have here?"

You tilt your head back into the snow to see who the fuck it was. It was 3 men with heavy coats. There was a brunette with blue eyes with a bandanna covering the lower half of his face.

The other two had black hair and looked almost identical, most likely twins. The only difference was their eyes: one had light green eyes, the other had a heterochromia of light green, and medium brown.

You chuckle nervously, "Ah-ha, hi there. Um… we kind of… fell."

"We saw." The heterochromia eyed man grins, "Funny shit."

"Well… that's just embarrassing, huh?" Scaramouche chuckles weakly.

You wince when he pushes himself off you, a small smile gracing his features. You know that face and tone: it's "nice" Scaramouche. The facade he uses around those who are not to know you're Fatui.

As you sit up, you check Scaramouche for any injuries. It amuses you how he tenses up at the attention, he has to keep the act up and not pimp slap you in front of these people. You sigh in relief when nothing seems to be wrong, already brushing the snow off the Harbinger

"At least it's just these nice folks, and not some stupid hilichurls." You said softly, noting the Balladeer's fists are clenched on his lap.

"The hell are you two doing out here?" The brunette furrows his eyebrows, "The nearest town isn't for miles, and I doubt you're dumb enough to take a romantic stroll in this weather."

"Actually, we-ACHOO!!"

Oh so violently, you sneeze into the crook of your elbow. You groan quietly as you and Scaramouche stand up from the snow.

"Ugh, excuse me," You chuckle humorlessly.

Scaramouche takes a few steps away to take his hat that's getting buried in the snow.

"We should get going now," Scaramouche says, "You're going to get sick at this rate, and I-"

"-Well, why don't you two rest with us for tonight?" The twin with green eyes offer with a smile, "There's actually going to be a rough storm in-"

As if the Gods themselves were timing it, lightning strikes in the far distance. A light drizzle begins to settle.

"-Right now, actually." The man continues, "I'd feel really guilty if we just let you continue like this when you're getting sick."

You tense up and shake your head, "Oh, no! That's not-I-I mean, I don't want to impose! Plus, your friends might not-"

"-It's fine," The brunette shakes his head, "It's just until the storm clears up."

The twins nod simultaneously.

"It's not a problem at all."

"It's no problem."

"Hm… Okay," Scaramouche sighs, "Sorry for the intrusion."

"Sorry f-ACHOO!!"

Damn, you're embarrassing yourself.

"Oh!" The twin with green eyes pipes up with a grin as he gestures towards himself, "My name is Ivan, and this is my brother Isaac!"

You all look at the brunette with blue eyes who had the bandana still covering half his face.

"...I'm Noah."

You laugh lightly as you begin walking first, "It's nice to meet you all! You can call me [Y/n]!"

Scaramouche refrains the urge to frown, "Call me Kunikuzushi."

Kunikuzushi? How did he come up with that name so quickly? And you noticed the way he presented that name: he was talking to ALL of you. Letting you know that you're supposed to call him that, as well.

"Kunikuzushi?" Noah scoffs under his breath as he leads you to their camp, "That doesn't sound like a local name."

"I'm a vagrant from Inazuma," The Harbinger flawlessly lies, "It's certainly colder here, that's for sure."

"So," You scrunch up your nose as you feel another sneeze coming, your voice quickly rising in pitch as you talk faster with every passing word, "What are you aLL DOING OUTINTHISWEATH-ACHOO!!"

Smooth.

Ivan laughs at your misery, "We're just traveling. When we noticed the storm, we decided to stop for tonight."

You smile in gratitude, "Well, thank you for the hospitality."

----

"My Lord."

"What."

"I am… so sorry."

Ivan, Isaac, and Noah are inside their huge ass tent to get you and Scaramouche thicker blankets, something hot for you to eat, and medicine. You and the Balladeer were sitting by the fire that was quickly dying out.

Well, if it weren't for Scaramouche that is. He was tending to it with a watchful eye on a log close to the fire. Occasionally, he'd zap the wood with his mysterious Electro ability, that he's capable of using without a Vision, to keep it hot. But there was a metal rod stuck in there, he mainly used that to tend the fire.

"Whatever. You're bound to say "shut up" by reflex now since you work for me." Scaramouche shrugs.

You furrow your eyebrows in confusion, "Huh? No, I'm not sorry for that."

The Harbinger snaps, "Excuse me?"

"I'm sorry for getting-ACHOO!... Sick." You groan, completely ignoring his previous offense, "And for um… getting us knocked down that hill."

Scaramouche doesn't bother correcting you that it was actually HIM who knocked you both over.

"Gods, and I lost my mask. It's so unprofessional."

Scaramouche almost wants to say it's not a bad thing, that your face is a sight for sore eyes. But fuck that noise.

"On the bright side," You continue after sneezing again, "Noah is a good name. He's a member of the Treasure Hoarders we're after. I don't know about Ivan and Isaac, though."

Scaramouche stays silent for a while, so you assume the conversation is done.

You sink into the log you're sitting on, sighing into the thick fur coat you were given. It smells… like something. Maybe it's one of those guys' scent? Can't say you hate it, though. It's… it's actually pretty good and comforting.

"[L/n]."

"Hm?"

You haven't realized you closed your eyes, but you ain't about to open them. You're just basking in the coat.

Ah, you might fall asleep, you feel so tired and weak. Maybe it's because you failed to inform anyone of the wound on your side. You don't think it's bleeding anymore, but it's not even cleaned or wrapped.

"[L/n]."

"Yes, My Lord?" You repeat yourself.

"Sit back up," You can hear the eye-roll Scaramouche gives you, "You can rest after those morons come back with your food and crap."

You reluctantly open your eyes and sway in your spot, "Yes, sir."

"And don't call me that now. If they overhear you, it'll be hard explaining yourself."

"Yes, si-erm, Kunikuzushi."

"..."

"..."

"I just told you not to fall asleep."

Oh shit, you didn't realize you closed your eyes again.

"But I'm tiredddddd," You whine childishly, "And this coat is so warm and it smells good."

"I'll take that as a compliment."

You open your eyes to see Noah walking up to you, eyes colored in amusement. Noah still had that bandana covering his mouth, but you just know he's fucking smirking. He has a small blue bottle, spoon, bandages, gauze, and a large white bottle sitting all on top of a folded blanket.

"Ugh, please ignore that. That's so embarrassing," You sink in the coat to hide half your face, "I just-you know, I'm sick. I don't know what I'm talking about."

Noah shakes his head, "It's fine. I won't tease anymore. Move over, won't you?"

You do as you're asked, looking at Scaramouche with a pointed look. Keep an eye on Noah.

Noah places the blanket down on the ground near the fire. He then looks at you and tugs lightly at your coat.

"Take this off, let's clean that wound on your rib." He instructs.

"You… How do you know-"

"-I saw you bleed through your coat," Noah explains, "It wouldn't do anyone good if you died or got infected. And I wouldn't be able to sleep at night without a clear conscience."

You sigh through your nose and begin taking off the coat. You fold it onto the log on your side. You begin to unbutton the coat you had on previous, only for Noah to stop your hands with his.

"Uh, maybe wait until I leave," Noah clears his throat nervously, "Your boyfriend looks like he'll kill me. He can clean you up since your wound is pretty… uh… yeah."

Boyfriend??

Very nervously and very hesitantly, you look over to Scaramouche. He was fucking glaring at Noah for no reason. He was leaned over and everything, being very obvious with his glare.

You're about to deny that Scaramouche was anyone close to you, but you never get the chance to.

"Exactly, just give me 10 minutes," Scaramouche stands up and slowly stalks over, "You're not touching her."

… Hah?

Noah nods and gets up, waving before he walks over to the tent where Isaac and Ivan were in.

You blink owlishly, "Was… that necessary, Kunikuzushi?"

"You said so yourself that Noah is someone we have to watch out for." Scaramouche frowns, "As if I'd let my best ass-kisser get poisoned carelessly."

You roll your eyes, "Fine, okay. I'd prefer addressing my own wounds, anyway."

Scaramouche throws his head back, "HA! As if! Move over, I'll do it. I already said I would anyway."

"I-... O-Okay…" You resume stripping your coat with reluctance, "But… was going along as my boyfriend necessary, too?"

He deadpans at you as he sits next to you.

You shake your head: "Never mind. It's-really not important."

"No," Scaramouche mutters, "it's not."

[skania]

Rukawa & Ayako Appreciation Post

I really, really love their interactions. Their dynamic is easy to overlook because they aren't each other's most prominent bond, but I like how suble yet well-built it is.

We know that Rukawa & Ayako went to the same Junior High, so unless I'm missing something (and I may be), Ayako is the one who has known Rukawa the longest (and vice-versa) at the start of the series. This is shown in various ways, notably in the chapter where Ayako teases Haruko by poking fun at Rukawa.

While Haruko idealizes Rukawa, leading her to project a bunch of stuff that he doesn't actually feel onto him, Ayako is the opposite. She doesn't see him through rose-tinted glasses and even pokes fun at him in order to tease Haruko.

However, when Haruko feels sorry for Rukawa because of Akagi going all out, Ayako is the one to spell it out for her: it's the opposite! Rukawa is the kind of guy who gets fired up by a challenge.

The wording she uses is also very telling, because it shows that Ayako sees through Rukawa's aloof disposition and into the kind of player (of person) he truly is. She knows that while he may look uncaring, in truth he actually does care and he cares a lot.

I liked this exchange a lot. In just a couple of pages, Inoue establishes that Ayako has a well-rounded read of Rukawa. She sees both, the idiot (affectionate) kid and the incredible player. And she knows what makes him tick, too.

This happens once again near the end of the manga. During the tutoring session, Haruko is once again shown trying to understand Rukawa, but she does so by projecting her worries onto him. Just like last time, Ayako is the one shown having actual insight into him.

This isn't the only that caught my eye about their dynamic, though. My favorite thing would be the familiarity between them.

From the get-go, we're shown that Ayako is prone to teasing Rukawa; a welcome sight considering how serious he usually is. And we're also shown that Rukawa seems pretty used to it, always taking it stride even when Ayako airs his dirty laundry in front of the entire gym lol

He also seems used to how touchy-feely she is, particularly at the start of the manga. He makes no effort to put any distance between them, which to me shows that not only is he used to it, he knows Ayako means no harm by it and is fine letting her be.

In other words, he trusts her.

This trust he has in Ayako is also shown in the way he respects her. While he may complain when she wants him to play mediator when the others are being idiots, he listens to her most of the time. The biggest example of this for me is during the fight with Mitsui. When Ryota yells at Rukawa to stop, Rukawa doesn't listen. He only stops when Ayako steps in, grabbing his arm and telling him that he'd only make the situation worse.

This is big, because the manga shows that when it comes to Rukawa, respect is earned. Case in point, it takes him a while to start attaching "senpai" to Mitsui's name. So by the start of the manga, Ayako has already done enough to earn Rukawa's respect.

Their interactions are also super easy-going, once again showing the familiarity and trust there is between them.

So while their dynamic may not get that much attention in the manga, I feel like we see enough of it to get a clear idea of how well they get along.

I think it's really sweet that Rukawa has a reliable senpai in Ayako, even more so because literally every other girl around him is too busy projecting their fantasies onto him lol

[discordantwords]

2023 Fic Year in Review

Total number of completed stories: One fic and two ficlets

Total word count: 30,066 for the fic and about 2,700 words in ficlets

Fandoms written in: BBC Sherlock

Looking back, did you write more fic than you thought you would this year, less, or about what you’d expected?

Less. So much less. The past few years have been terribly challenging for me. I won't delve too deeply into personal issues, but we've been enduring the painful decline and slow loss of a beloved family member. There's been a significant financial and emotional burden that my family has shouldered as a result of this (on top of typical work/life stress), and it's been very hard to think about writing when each day feels like survival.

That said, writing is my outlet and my preferred form of stress relief, so I try to eke out some time just to maintain some semblance of my own sanity.

What’s your own favorite story of the year?

There's really not any competition this year, so Nothing to Celebrate wins by default. :)

(I am very pleased with how it turned out. There are a lot of complicated emotions at work beneath the plot, and I'm particularly proud of some of the dialogue where characters are talking past each other and not quite saying what they mean.)

Did you take any writing risks this year?

Nothing to Celebrate is the first time that I've written an unapologetically evil Mary Morstan. I like to think I pulled it off!

Do you have any fanfic goals for the new year?

I plan to finish up my current WIP, Time in a Bottle, early in 2024. Much of the last two chapters are already drafted and just need some retooling.

Beyond that-- I have a few WIPs languishing in my WIP folder that I'm absolutely dying to get back to. One is an angst monster of an amnesia story. The other is a cracky AU fusion. Both will get written even if it kills me.

And I'd like to do more ficlets. They keep my writing skills sharp.

Most popular story of the year?

Nothing to Celebrate! I was delighted by the reception this one received.

Story of mine most under-appreciated by the universe, in my opinion:

Out of the three (completed) things I posted this year? Probably Distraction, an angsty little ficlet where a captor forces John to hit Sherlock. It didn't get much love compared to some of my other ficlets, maybe because of the subject matter. It's also posted here if you prefer reading on Tumblr

Most fun story to write:

I had a big smile on my face revisiting the storm chaser boys in my ficlet After The Storm.

Biggest disappointment:

Not writing more. But it is what it is.

Biggest surprise:

How warm and welcoming and passionate this fandom remains, even after all these years. I love you all.

[melodygatesauthor]

Okay guys, I can't believe it's been a full year since I published the first chapter of my first fanfiction story and I'm still going strong today. - (Side note...it was actually yesterday but I wanted to get all my fics posted to AO3 so I could get an accurate word count and tell you all what I've done so...it took me an extra day)

This is going to be a really long post, and I thank everyone in advance for reading all the way through if you make it. I'm taking a moment to allow myself to talk about my accomplishments over the last year, my goals for this next year, and gas myself up just a bit. As an artist, it's really hard to talk about myself in a positive light without being critical, but I'm going to do it anyway. No one asked, but this is one of the ways I wanna celebrate my ficversary so...I'm gonna do it lol.

My First Fanfic Ever

I'd like to start by sharing my beginnings with writing. If I really think back to the very first fanfiction I wrote, I thought it was a Gorillaz fic (which I still have a handwritten copy of in my closet lol), but it wasn't. I think the very first fanfic I wrote technically was a Pirates of the Caribbean fic when I was 11. I didn't even realize that's what it was, I just knew that I was SO into POTC that I wanted to write about it. It had just come out by the way, so I'm really dating myself. This was...2003.

We had this thing we had to do for school, it was like a writing assignment or something, one of those big ones that they gave you, a standardized whatever. I managed to find a way to spin it into a POTC related thing and I went OFF writing this story. It had its own twists and turns unrelated to POTC, but it was a fanfic through and through.

The Beginning of My Fan Art

When I was 12 I started listening to Good Charlotte, to a point that it was my entire personality. Everyone who knew me, knew I loved them. Every fucking art project I had in middle school (7th and 8th grade) was revolved around this band, particularly Joel Madden.

My love for them has come and gone, but I still remember how I felt at the time (not unlike how I feel toward Oscar Isaac now lol). I mean my art teacher literally had to be like "I want you to branch out, you can't make everything about them." And as an adult, I'm wondering -why the fuck not but- ...I digress.

The First Fanfic I Ever "Published"

When I was 12 (or maybe closer to 13), I became OBSESSED with the Gorillaz. When I say obsessed I mean...I listened to the album Demon Days on repeat until it fucking broke. I changed my G's when I would write by hand to match the G in their logo. I made tons of fan art and it was a damn vibe. This was the first time I really discovered fanfiction and learned what it was.

I remember reading one fanfic from some girl on this website (I'm really dating myself here, some of you will know what site this is...) Quizilla. Quizilla was THE site at the time (other than LiveJournal I think, but I never used LiveJournal and didn't know it existed at the time) for fanfiction and what you would now call "buzzfeed quizzes". This girl's writing inspired me to write my own fanfic, which I handwrote and kept in a green folder which, as I said, I still have to this day sitting in my closet.

My very first fic, and yes at 13, included some romance, some non-con (don't fucking ask me why idk even how I knew about that at 13. I was never exposed to this type of thing as a child fortunately) and other nonsense. I published it on this site, and it made me really happy. I don't remember if anyone ever read it or not tbh, but it will forever hold a place in my heart <3

My Best Friend/Emo Era

I met my best friend in high school when I was about 14. She and I are still close to this day. Not as close, but I can still tell her my most unhinged thoughts and she loves me regardless. We met because we both wrote fanfiction and lost our minds over the fact that we did. Thus started my emo era.

She was into My Chemical Romance, and I was into The Used. 2005 was a time lol. The two of us had either a binder or a composition notebook where we'd handwrite our fics and pass them back and forth between classes. I still have the ones I wrote tucked away in my house. When we'd read them she and I would leave little notes in the margins like we all leave comments today.

Most of these fics never got published, they were just for us to enjoy. I did, however, publish a fic when I was about 15, that I wrote to completion. Quizilla ended up going down, and most of us moved to Mibba.com instead, which is still a website.

Edit: I looked at Mibba, and it looks like the website is still there, but you can't search for anything, so Mibba is gone too. Not gonna lie, broke my nostalgic heart just a bit to see...Some fics I wrote on there will be gone forever. Maybe for the best, but it's still kinda sad.

The Avenged Sevenfold Era

When I tell you that Avenged Sevenfold has been my favorite band since I was 15, I'm dead ass. Are they the best band ever? Not by a long shot, but damn the way I still lose my shit over them is unhinged. Anyone who was around during this time fucking knows...they were fucking HOT. Matt Shadows really had the bulky but not shredded body type going on, they all kinda did, and I'm so here for it.

Why I'll never post any of the fics I wrote during this time, even if I get my hands on them...

I wrote them when I was 15, and I was writing about things 15 year olds shouldn't write about.

You don't know cringe until you've read those fics.

It's about real people and I'm not a fan of rpf anymore. I'm all for writing whatever you want and fiction being fiction but there's something that gives me the ick about real people fiction. No offense to anyone who writes it, that's just my feelings.

The way these guys had a hold on me for the next 5 years was ridiculous. I wrote about them a lot, by hand, on my laptop, however I could. I had so many unhinged ideas and stories it's insane. I loved every minute of it, and I always look back on this as my true start into fanfiction.

The End of an Era

All good things come to an end. After graduation, my best friend and I stayed in touch, but grew apart. I went to college and continued writing fanfic. I was pursuing a major in graphic design with a minor in creative writing. I was convinced that even though I was writing fanfiction, I was going to write a book too and it would be a bestseller.

As time went on, probably when I was about 20 or 21, I kinda stopped writing fanfiction all together. My friend wasn't really writing it anymore, and the community around Avenged Sevenfold was slowing down. I was also in the middle of a breakup and it was a whole thing, so I kinda stopped writing around this time.

I'd also, unfortunately, felt like fanfiction was for kids/teens, so didn't feel the need to continue writing anymore. I didn't want to seem like a loser writing fanfiction in my twenties...so I didn't.

For the record, you're not a loser for writing fanfiction. It's a very valid artform and it's fun. We only live for so long, so enjoy it doing what makes you happy, period. I'll probably be writing in my 50s I fucking hope lol.

Anyway, at that time, that's how I felt. I now know it's bullshit to think that way. So fanfiction fizzled out for me, and I kinda moved on to other things.

My Not-fanfiction Era

What was I doing instead of writing? Going through an emotionally and mentally abusive relationship, working on trying to build what I thought was the 'dream' (marriage, kids, a house, e.t.c.), working and playing video games.

Fortunately that relationship ended. After years of therapy (which he told me I needed because he gaslit me into thinking I was crazy lol), I grew the balls to finally tell him to fuck off and leave. It was the best decision I ever made, especially considering this was JUST before COVID hit. I shudder to this day thinking about the fact that I was almost stuck in a house with that freak during lockdown.

When that relationship ended I moved back to Maine to be with my family. I missed them and had spent basically my entire 20s in another state with some loser.

Back to Fanfiction - Kylo Ren Era

So how did I get back here? How did I get back into writing and creating fan art? The truth is, a switch literally flipped in my brain over this guy right here...

I mean...

The funny thing is, I wasn't SUPER into Star Wars before this. I liked it, I'd seen the sequel trilogy in theaters, but to me it was just a movie series. I was literally watching a Sam Collins video on YouTube where he made fun of a Kylo Ren cosplayer's thirst trap on TikTok and was like...oh that's actually kinda hot.

Thought nothing of it though, just moved on with my day...until I dreamt about him too. And then I felt this spark inside me that I couldn't shake. I literally was like...👀 something is happening here.

So I remembered this feeling from when I was a teen and recognized the impending obsession immediately. I actually googled "is fanfiction still relevant" and "is it ok to write fanfiction as an adult?"

The short answers are - yes - and - of course it is -. This was how I discovered the VERY popular Kylo Ren fic Fix Your Attitude by Kassanovella. I read it in a matter of a week, and in that time I started writing my own fic. I also rewatched ALL the Star Wars movies, and then continued rewatching the sequel trilogy on repeat just so I could get Kylo Ren's character down. I wanted to make sure I captured his voice and personality perfectly. - When I say I watched the sequel trilogy 20 times, it's not an exaggeration, I had it on constantly.-

The fic I wrote was called, Yes, Master

The first chapter of that fic was published on 09/05/2022 (one year ago today), and the last chapter was published on 10/14/2022 with a word count of 100,701. Not only is it the longest fic I've written of all the fics I've done, but it's the one I wrote the fastest. I was posting a chapter a day every day until it was finished. I mean...I literally went OFF on this story. I was so proud of it that I went to lulu.com and made myself a physical copy of it that I intend to read as part of this celebration I'm doing lol.

Wondering if anyone would be interested in me revamping this story (rewriting and updating it) and posting here? I would definitely do it if there was enough interest.

I then wrote a sequel called By Your Side which taught me SO MUCH. Here's what I learned when creating this sequel...

Not everything needs a sequel.

Writing a chapter a day isn't realistic.

I should've planned a full outline before diving into this fic.

I'm not into pregnancy fics/domestic fics all that much as far as longfics go.

It's okay to genuinely dislike something you've written and you should try to learn from that.

By Your Side is still to this day one of my least favorite fics (if not my LEAST favorite). I am still proud of myself for finishing it, (it sits at a hefty 85,599 words). I don't have to love it though. I'm just grateful for what I learned in the process of writing it and proud of myself for finishing it despite being sick of it by chapter 8 and still writing 20 chapters after that.

I also wrote my very first Yandere fic, Just You. It's a bit darker, in my opinion, than The Fractured Moon. This fic was a blast to write, and it felt very freeing to write something so disturbing. It was fun to just let myself get into a dark headspace without holding back and not feeling bad about it. It was more

The Rainbow Six Siege Era

During my time writing for Kylo, I went back to a video game I used to play a lot, Rainbow Six Siege. My Oscar Era bleeds into the Kylo and R6S era a little but I'll talk about that soon.

The Siege fandom was an interesting one...one that I'll probably not go back to much, though I may still write a little fic for it here and there as I feel inspired to. I won't dive too much into this as I know most of you are Oscar fans, but I'll mention my accomplishments here and the things I learned.

I wrote another novel-length fic for this fandom called The Recruit and the Hunter which has another 83,888 words. I actually LOVE this story, and still look back on it fondly. It was a fun one to write, and I really challenged myself to write less smut for it, and I succeeded. It focused heavily on the relationship that built between the main pairing and in my opinion it's one of my better slow-burns I've done.

Why did I leave this fandom?

Well, I'm not going to throw shade, I don't like doing that unless I have to, so I'll keep it brief. The long and the short of it is this...

The readers were getting EXTREMELY demanding. I have comments on RATH of people saying things like "I'm going to be upset if you don't give us a happy ending" and "there better be smut or I swear...". It can get really discouraging as a writer when people seem to say "I love your fic but I'll only continue to love it if you do xyz." It puts us in a dilemma, and makes it hard for us to find a balance between providing fan service, and doing what's fun for us to write. It definitely changed the outcome of RATH and I'm not happy that I gave in like that.

The requests I got were confusing and downright weird. I didn't do some of the really weird ones, and I'm not meaning to kink shame, but it was just very niche things that I couldn't get myself into. I think part of why I felt obligated to provide fan service like I mentioned in the point above, and why I caved and wrote some fanfics for these more unique requests, is because this fandom is very small, and I felt an obligation to provide.

Some of the other writers in the fandom are fucking rude. I'm not going to mention names, like I said, but I had very poor experiences with several writers in the fandom, and since I was also integrating into the Oscar fandom at the time, I could see a stark difference in the way I was being accepted in one, versus the way I was being pushed away in the other. There aren't a lot of x reader writers in the R6S fandom, and I was one of them, and there seems to be some animosity between the people who ship characters, versus the people who write x reader and that's where this mistreatment came from. I don't know, I tried making friends over there, and felt like I was getting pushed out.

So anyway, it's not for me anymore, but I still think back to certain parts of it fondly, and I may write a little more here and there as I see fit.

The Oscar Isaac Era

This really is THE era, isn't it?

As I was working on the last 10 or so chapters of Yes, Master, and after my 12th time rewatching the sequel trilogy movies, I started to fall for Poe Dameron, naturally. How could I not? I mean look at him...

So I decided that I would give Poe a prequel to my Yes, Master story called One Hell of a Pilot. This fic was so fun to write, and it's how I became involved with the Oscar Isaac community in the first place. Immediately I started following Dee, and through her I found Mona, and it was just snowballing from there. Whitney and Romana were some of the first to follow me and my shenanigans.

In December, which is when I started writing One Hell of a Pilot, another novel-length fic that ended with 80,517 words, is when I started reading Dee's fics, along with Mona's and many others. I saw their interactions and felt excited by the prospect of making new friends who were just as into some of this stuff as I was. A place that I could be myself and lose my shit over this idiot and not be judged.

I had no idea what the hell I was getting myself into.

It all started with a fic that Dee had written, I can't remember which one, probably a dbf!Santi fic, and I asked the innocent question of...

What movie is this from?

Oh shit...I didn't realize what the fuck I was getting myself into. After she told me it was Triple Frontier and I should watch it, my brother and I watched it right away. I told him a friend of mine suggested it. The way we spent the entire 1.5 hours laughing at how bad it was is still a memory I hold dear to my heart. I still didn't know at the time that this loser (Oscar my beloved) would hold a place in my heart from that day on.

My first Santi fic was a headcanon about Santi w/ a plussize reader that I called Preciously Plump. A headcanon that later got a full fic, appropriately named Preciously Plump the One-shot.

So then I read something about Moon Knight, and between Dee and Mona shoving me into it (peer pressure ftw) I caved and watched the show.

Phew...

That gave way to the first Moon Knight fic I ever wrote, How Unexpected which came out on January 3rd, 2023 of this year. I was sure that between Steven's adorable nerdy behavior, and Marc's tough exterior, I'd be head over heels for those two. I was nervous to even TOUCH Jake, because I didn't know shit about his character, and the last thing I wanted to do was write a character without it sounding like them.

I was also afraid at the time of writing the Moon Boys with DID because I didn't know anything about it, and I didn't want to misrepresent something like that. After some time went by, I got my bearings, and started working on A Bit Dodgy.

ABD is definitely one of the fics I'm most proud of. I had learned a lot from my past fics I'd written, Yes, Master, e.t.c., and figured out what it was that works best when I'm writing to not only keep myself interested, but to create a good balance between smut for smut's sake, and pushing the story forward.

When I first started writing ABD, I was sure it was going to be a 30-40 chapter fic, but as I started writing it more, I realized quickly that a lot of the chapters were just porn. Is there anything wrong with that? No...but as someone who's written nearly a million words in this past year, I don't feel the need to draw my chaptered fics out with smut just to say I wrote something x chapters or x words wrong.

That's why ABD ended up getting cut down SO MUCH from my original plan. I just made some decisions that I felt maximized the story more and used the smut as a major plot device, rather than the fic revolving around smut as the plot...if that makes any sense lol. I'm happy to say, that as of today, A Bit Dodgy has concluded, though it's the only fic I've ever finished with such a heavy heart.

I was an Oscar stan HARD after that, diving into Sucker Punch and other silly little movies filled with that silly little man whom I love so so much.

Statistics

Numbers aren't important when it comes to kudos (AO3) and likes (Tumblr) so I'm not focusing on those. What I am going to focus on...is my personal accomplishments. Like I said, I don't normally toot my own horn, but I fucking wrote A LOT this year, and I'm going to take a minute to pat myself on the back.

So NOT including my random blurbs (since I'm not bothering to cross-post those)...

My total word count from 09/05/2022-09/05/2023 is (drumroll please):

791,829 words

OH

EM

GEE

I had thought I would've hit a million by now but I am NOT going to complain. By the grace of the horny demon that runs the smut factory in my brain, I've written more than I ever even thought possible.

In the Moon Knight fandom alone, I've written:

238,950 words

I think the only fandom I've written more for is Star Wars, but I'd have to add it all up and I'm not doing that rn haha.

Just kidding it's:

368,566 words

----

I wrote 6 novel-length fics, a total of 147 works, MK holds the record for most fics I've written at a whopping 82 fics!

----

It's shocking to look back and see what I've accomplished, and to look forward to seeing what else I can do. I know that this next year I won't have the same word count, probably not even close.

I'm focusing a lot on drawing now as well as writing, plus I'm working on my first novel that I'd like to publish so things will definitely be slowing down. I'm going to continue writing, but the speed at which I churn out fics will be slower in the future.

In Conclusion

Thank you all for the support throughout this year. There's no way in HELL I would've had the drive and desire to continue writing if not for the amazing community (most the Oscar Isaac community lol) behind me. It's not just the kudos and the reblogs, it's the people who I've grown to know since joining the world of fandom.

I never had a ton of IRL friends, and I live alone (happily btw) with my dog. Being able to make some friends here that I genuinely call friends, not just people I know online, has meant the world to me. I would list everyone out, but I have a fear of accidentally forgetting to tag someone despite how much they mean to me so I'll leave it at...those people know who they are.

And to my readers (I hesitate to use the word "fans", that makes it sound so conceited), thank you to the moon and back. Without out, I wouldn't have had the drive to keep going. Kudos, Likes and Reblogs aren't everything, I can't stress that enough, but they do help keep the drive alive. (Particularly the comments). Without the little boost of excitement I get when I see that other people are just excited about what I'm doing as I am, I probably would've given up ages ago.

You all are the reason that this was even possible.

With all that being said, I have a small celebration planned that I'll announce later tonight. In the mean time, stay amazing. You keep supporting me, and I'll keep providing the fics that you all love so much

Love, Melly

[moony-2001]

Lore Olympus ch. 257-262 critique pt. 1

This one is gonna be split into 2 parts. I'm trying not to ramble on too much but I figure it'll be better if this bad boy is just split up. After that, I may or may not do more chapter critiques. I don’t want my content to *just* be chapter critiques

Ch. 257

I honestly don't remember having a lot to say about the beginning of this chapter. It was very meh. It basically just reconfirms what we already knew about the state of the mortal realm. I did want to discuss a few "stand-out" scenes when we flip back to the meeting room.

The bitter MIL trope

When we cut to Demeter trying to verbalize what's happening in the mortal realm, something she said really pissed me off:

Let me be clear. I'm not mad about what she said. I mean, I am, but I'm more mad at the fact that Rachel made her say this and the overuse of the whole "Demeter is a petty, bitter in-law that can't handle the fact that her daughter has her own life" trope.

Literally what problems is she creating from this plague?? First of all, this is a problem Persephone started, not Demeter, so Demeter confirming that the mortal realm is dying is not "creating problems". Inadvertently, the other gods back her up on this by expressing concern about the fact that what will happen to other non-immortal beings like the nymphs and what will happen if it spreads to the other realms.

I don't know if this is a callback to the original hymn, and if it is, it's in really fucking poor taste. In the original hymn, Demeter did not cause the winter "out of spite". She did it because she was fucking pissed that not only was her daughter taken away from her, but it was done so behind her back and without her consent. Also, can we stop with the "bitter MIL" trope, especially involving Demeter? I know MILs in real life can be a nightmare. Trust me, I know. But I don't think fiercely loving your daughter and not wanting her to be traded away like she's a set of golf clubs constitutes being a bitter mother-in-law.

Apollo

Yeaaaah Apollo is right, I'll give him that. Persephone is, once again, a big part of the problem. I know the gods aren't perfect. No one is perfect. But for some reason, a lot of the plot of this story seems to center around Persephone making these big-ass messes, blaming everyone but herself, and then doing fuck-all to actually fix the situation. Also, I find it hilarious that Hades is so offended by the notion that Apollo would accuse him of trying to expand his kingdom when his entire realm was built by slave labor. When has a slave master ever complained about having more slaves prisoners with jobs? Don't answer, that question is purely rhetorical.

Eris, my beloved

Ugh, the part with Eris is just *chef's kiss*. Especially when she transforms into Artemis??? I just??

I want to redraw the scene when I have time because I feel like it could be a lot more spooky-looking than it is now.

Hera

The rest of the chapter is kinda meh. Hated Hera and Apollo's interaction. Also, I'm pretty sure Rachel spelled "wife" wrong. A "waif" is a homeless person, particularly a child. Much hate to Apollo for what he said to Hera, even though Hera also low-key sucks. And yeaaaah. That's it.

Ch. 258

The handling of Hera and Kronos

Chapter 258 picks up pretty much where we left off with Hera. I gotta say I actually really liked this chapter. I know my whole page now is pretty much constantly shitting on the entirety of LO, but I gotta give major props to Rachel for how she handled 258. Was the chapter leading up to and including the interaction between Hera and Kronos perfect? No. But IMO it was still really good.

The reason why I say this is because not long before this chapter was posted, I and a lot of other anti-LO creators noticed there was a spike in comments both under Rachel's insta and in the comic's comment section romanticizing the relationship between Hera and Kronos. It was disgusting. Never should someone ever romanticize the relationship between a victim/survivor and their abuser. In this chapter, Rachel seemingly put her foot down about this and basically said "This is not okay". Now, she never outright said that anywhere that I saw, but that's the vibes I was picking up. Standing up to your abuser is really hard to do. And I'm proud of Hera (even though she's not real lol).

The one thing I did not like about this portion of the chapter was Hera and Hestia's interaction.

Really? That's all you have to say to your sister that has been going through a hell of a time? Yeah, okay, Hestia.

The ritual

Now that I've fulfilled my once-a-month praise quota for LO, time to get back to the shitting.

Besides the ugly ass art, I introduce a new challenge. The Persephone tries not to make everything about herself challenge: impossible. I see she's picking up a few tricks from Hades in the narcissist department. I've noticed, especially recently, that H&P has a particularly nasty habit of diminishing others' feelings or certain situations to make it all about themselves. I know I mentioned this in my last critique but I feel the need to bring it up again, especially in these last bits of this chapter.

Case in point A is that Hades and Persephone get so wrapped up in each other that they don't even notice that Hecate is, for lack of better terms, wigging out.

Obviously, she turns out fine, but seriously? You didn't even pay attention to her until Morpheus pointed out the fact that something was clearly wrong.

*unholy screaming* pt. 1

So you guys know how I felt about the whole nightie situation with Persephone. Well, you're in luck because the rage I feel for the last part of this chapter makes that pale in comparison.

This is case in point B of Hades and Persephone making everything about themselves.

When I first saw this I was kinda like "Huh???" And then the chapter ended??? I had to wait a whole ass week to find out but my fuckery senses were tingling.

Ch. 259

*unholy screaming* pt. 2

Boy oh boy were my fuckery senses right.

Literally, who fucking cares? This isn't about you!! You aren't the victims in this. They both started all this and they need to be willing to do whatever it takes to fix it. Persephone, to her credit, at least acknowledges that in a much nicer way. But yet again, HADES MAKES IT ABOUT HIMSELF.

"...it will come at a cost to us... we have to basically choose between us and everyone else." Uh. YEAH??? Jfc, stop being a whiney piss baby, and get your shit together! Choosing between yourselves and everyone else? Is that even a question? If you both have to sacrifice yourselves to make this better, tough titties.

The pool scene

This scene is what I was talking about when I mentioned Persephone's speech. But I still can't enjoy it. Why, I hear you ask? I don't know, MAYBE BECAUSE THEY'RE HAVING SEX WHILE THE WORLD IS BURNING DOWN AROUND THEM. Yeah, sure they deserve to have their lovey-dovey moments (I guess. Undeservedly so IMO). But how about you wait to pork until you've saved the world from perilous doom???

Also maybe I'm reading into this waaaaay too much, but tell me why I feel like Persephone just had sex with Hades to talk him off a wall. To me, it almost felt equivalent to "I'm going to kms if you leave me" or some other kind of weird hostage situation where now Persephone has to make HIM feel better even though this is about HER and how SHE fucked up. Idk.

Final notes

Well, that wraps up part 1. I know I've been gone for way longer than I said I was going to be and for that I'm sorry. Overall, pretty yikes but I liked 258 the best.

[larkandkatydid]

i was a bit surprised by the 5 star rating you gave the terror book. i only read a couple of chapters, but i didn’t particularly like it. you think it’s worth giving it another try? also, feel free to share any thoughts on the book in general ^^

I think I’m potentially the ideal audience for Dan Simmons because I love a big dumb horror book by a big, dumb, baby boomer man. So, there’s that. It could just be that God created me as a lover of this particular style of garbage and other people love Hallmark movies, etc…

That said! I do think The Terror drags for the first 300 or so pages. I watched the first episode of the show last night and it does a lot better at setting the scene and sketching out the basic characters without spending too much time on guys who are going to die right away. So, I would say three options:

1)Keep going until at least the masquerade ball. That's where I was hooked because it's just such an absurd, grotesque gothic scene. I am so, so excited to see how they decided to film it. This is my favorite way that Dan Simmons is big and dumb: the audacity to stage a recreation of The Masque of Red Death on ice-locked ship with the surprise guest: a polar bear.

2)If you want something that moves faster, I'm re-reading Dan Simmons' Carrion Comfort for probably the 5th or 6th time since I was a teen and it is also a big, dumb book about vampires but it is absolute balls-to-the-wall from the first page, and despite being a horror novel about vampires, it's big and dumb the way the Terminator movies are big and dumb.

3)If you want something better written on a similiar subject, David Grann's new book, The Wager is so, so good. I was thinking about the HMS Wager a lot while reading The Terror because it's a very similiar nightmarish situation and such a way that truth can be stranger than fiction because the main difference is that several people from the Wager survived, including both sides of a mutiny! But also, another situation where I would let The Sea take me rather than row across the entire Pacific ocean with scurvy.

[totesnothere04]

Deviant With a Big Defect: Introduction

The Bad Batch x Sister!Reader, Obi-Wan x Reader

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the fanart, screenshots, or gifs used with my stories.

Warnings: This series describes injuries, pain, and some uncomfortable situations such as judgement, misunderstanding, and sexism later on.

Also for anyone who might be following this story on Wattpad, yes it is I, Jedi.Master.Rage. I want to address that this may seem like a wild ride, but I had this idea cooking in my mind for well over a year before I started writing for it. Side note: The artist is TrixEclipse, but I don't know if they're here on Tumblr. My friend sent this to me because they're so adorable!

Chapter 1

You were sat reading about the ships that were being prepared for the Republic military. Omega was currently working with Nala Se so she wouldn't be back for a little while. Well that's what you thought until you heard the door open.

   "Hey 2B!" Omega said as she sat down next to you. "Haven't you already read that?"

   "Yes, but I want to beable to fix whatever gets broken while I'm around." You tell her and she huffed.

   "Want to go get some food?" She asked and you raised a brow at her.

   "We never eat in the cafeteria, and for good reason." You tell her thinking about the last time you both went to eat out there. "I mean we could grab some food and come back if that's what you mean." You tell her and she smiles and nods. You both get up and head out to the cafeteria making sure to steer clear from other clones. "So learn anything new and interesting today?" You ask her.

   "No not really. Just kind of handed Nala Se instruments when she needed them." She told you and you smiled down at her. By standard years Omega was 8 years of age, while you were technically only 5. However, due to the enhanced aging you looked about 16 years old. As you both went to exit the cafeteria you bumped into a group that you and Omega would watch from a distance. Hunter looked at you curiously and you felt Omega step behind you to hide herself from them.

   "Who are you?" Hunter asked and the three other boys watched with curiosity.

   "I don't have a name." You said awkwardly and sneakily signaled for Omega to go out of the other exit of the cafeteria. You felt her presence leave from behind you, and you relaxed a bit.

   "Then what do we call you?" Tech asked, now just as curious as Hunter.

   "Uhm..." Your nerves started getting the best of you since you weren't sure if it would be a good idea to tell them. They didn't know about you.

   "CT-9902-B. It is good to see you socializing with your batch." Nala Se said from behind you. You turned to look at her as she stopped next to you.

   "Her batch?" Crosshair asked in confusion.

   "Yes. She is the fifth member of Unit 99." Nala Se told them. "Why don't you get your food and I will tell you everything you want to know about her. As well as her reintegration into your unit." Nala Se told them.

   "Wait reintegration? I get to be with my brothers again?" You asked excitedly, and she nodded.

   "If you are able to be re-accepted into their ranks that is." Nala Se said and followed your group into the cafeteria. You sat down at the table Hunter told you too, and Nala Se sat down with you. You stared at your food as a feeling of nervousness took over your appetite. After a few minutes of sitting in silence the boys returned and waited for Nala Se. "You may ask any question you would like."

   "How old is she?" Hunter asked.

   "She is the same age as the rest of you." Nala Se answered.

   "If she's one of us why haven't we ever met her before?" Wrecker asked.

   "She was separated from her twin for observation when she was old enough to be on her own. He was not particularly happy to lose his podmate." Nala Se tried her hand at a joke, but noone chuckled.

   "Twin? No clone has ever had a twin before." Tech stated.

   "It is ironic that you say that, since she is your twin." Nala Se informs Tech who drops his fork.

   "What?" Tech seemed stumped as he looked at his brothers who looked just as shocked as he did. "I- Why did my DNA create a twin?"

   "From what I was able to gather your genetic coding was stronger than most. Causing a second clone to grow with you." Nala Se tells Tech whose face goes from shocked to red with anger.

   "I've never seen him this angry before." Crosshair says. Tech looks like he wants to say something, but knows better and looks away.

   "Why separate us though? It seems very unfair for her to have been hidden away from us." Tech says and Nala Se looks at him surprised.

   "I don't see anything wrong since she was allowed to observe all of you from a distance." Nala Se said.

   "Observing from a distance isn't the same as being able to interact. She knew I was her twin, but was unallowed to have any contact with us. Mistress Nala Se don't you see how unethical that is?" Tech argued back, and Hunter set a hand on his shoulder trying to calm him down.

   "Tech." Hunter whispered in warning.

   "No it is quite alright CT-9901. He does have a point, as I've read that normal twins separated at birth are more prone to mental disorders. However, we wanted to make certain that she didn't have anything wrong with her. She was unplanned... A surprise. It was to make sure she was healthy." Nala Se said.

   "Then why wait this long to return her to us?" Crosshair asked.

   "I had to wait for the go ahead from the Prime Minister." Nala Se answered.

   "If you are my twin does that mean you have my intelligence?" Tech asked you as he looked at you from across the table.

   "Does a Venator Class Star Destroyer have a lightspeed capacity of 60,000 lightyears?" You asked him.

   "How are we supposed to know that?" Wrecker whined.

   "The answer is yes, Wrecker. You've been doing your homework." Tech said.

   "I want to beable to fix whatever gets broken while I'm present." You tell him.

   "You really are Tech's twin... I don't see the resemblance." Crosshair said.

   "Of course you wouldn't, because I'm one of only a few clones that turned out to be a girl." You said and looked Crosshair in the eyes. "You know for your enhancement to be that you never miss a shot, you sure blew it with that insult." You said to him and Wreckers jaw nearly hit the floor.

   "Oh burn! She got you with that one!" Wrecker said then laughed obnoxiously.

   "I will leave you all to get acquainted." Nala Se said and stood up from the table.

   "Wait! What will happen to her if she isn't accepted into the batch again?" Hunter asked her.

   "She is to be placed on maintenance with 99." Nala Se answered then turned and left.

   "Well I like her!" Wrecker said.

   "I like her too." Crosshair said with a smirk, but it fell when he noticed everyone staring at him in shock. "She knows how to argue in a fun way. Something none of you have figured out yet."

   "I'm with them." Tech told Hunter who nodded.

   "I like her too. Plus there's no way we could leave her to maintenance." Hunter said and everyone turned back to their food. "So have you ever shot a blaster before?"

   "Well I was kept for observation not sheltered. So of course I have shot a blaster." You told him.

   "Hand to hand combat?" Tech asked.

   "Yes I have trained there too, but I trained directly with those mandalorian mercenaries. Not too fun, but it got the job done." You told them and everyone looked to Tech.

   "I think we just found your greatest opponent Tech." Hunter told him.

   "I would very much like to test her skills... For research purposes." Tech said.

   "Uh-huh. Research purposes." Hunter said with amusement. "If you're so interested we could go train after we're done eating." Hunter suggested.

   "Alright. I'm in." You tell him. Everyone basically inhales their food to beable to get to go to training. You put your trays on the dirty stack to be cleaned and started to follow your brothers out of the cafeteria. An older clone spotted your group, and from your prior experiences with regular clones, you tried to hide among the guys. This clone pushed through to your group, but his eyes were set on you.

   "Hey kid. I think you might be lost. What's your name?" He asked and your mind raced as you thought of what to do.

   "Uhm..." Was all you could manage, before you set to hiding behind the scariest person in your group, Crosshair. You stepped behind him and he got the message that you didn't have any better of a time with regs than they did.

   "She's a clone like us." Crosshair said to the older clone taking a bit more of a defensive stance. The older clone looked confused but understood that you were nervous around him.

   "Your group has nothing to be afraid of with me and my boys. I'm Commander Garrett of the 75th. Why don't you come meet my unit?" Garrett offered you his hand and you looked to Hunter who seemed just as bewildered as you. You took Garrett's hand and allowed him to lead your unit over to his. "75th!" He shouted when he reached a table with a group of clones that were acting rather rowdy. The clones all stopped what they were doing to look at their Commander. "We have a clone who doesn't have a name here." The clones all looked at you, but one of them did a double take when he saw you.

   "Sir that's a girl. Clones aren't girls." The clone said.

   "She's a part of the experimental unit, Kit." Garrett informed Kit who looked to you.

   "You got hobbies, kid?" Kit asked you and you shook your head. "What about Hack?" He suggested.

   "No, Kit that sounds rude." Another clone threw a roll at Kit, which it bounced off of his armor harmlessly. "Hmm what about-"

   "No, Stim. You don't get to name people after you tried to get everyone to call Bluster, Ass." Kit told Stim who huffed. Another clone looked at you and smiled.

   "I'm Cut. How does the name (Y/n) sound to you?" He asked and you tested it out, and smiled at him.

   "I like that!" You told him and he shot a smile back at you.

   "So... You're really a clone?" Stim asked you and you nodded.

   "I'm a very rare multiple defect." You said sadly.

   "Why do you say that?" Garrett asked and you exhaled.

   "Well for one I'm a girl... Two I'm a twin. Three I hold high levels of intelligence like my twin." You told them and Garrett smiled at you.

   "Well I would gladly have you in my company any day. Defect or not." Garrett said and his unit cheered with him.

   "She's already in a unit CT-4427." Nala Se said as she approached.

   "Nala Se... His name is Garrett." You told her and she raised a brow at you.

   "Very well. She is a part of experimental clone unit 99, and will remain there, Garrett." Nala Se informed Garrett, who nodded.

   "Yes, ma'am." He said as he saluted her.

   "Come CT-9902-B. I would like to run some last minute tests, before youre completely settled back into your batch." You lowered your head preparing yourself for all of the needles.

   "Mistress Nala Se." Garrett said from behind you, and Nala Se turned to address him. "Her name... It's (Y/n)." He told her and she nodded. As you walked away you passed by your brothers, and they gave you a sympathetic look. Tech went to try and join you, but Hunter held him back and shook his head.

   "(Y/n)... That name suits you." Nala Se said as you reached her lab.

   "Thank you. Cut just picked it out for me." You told her and she patted your back. Omega came into the lab and smiled at you.

   "Hello!" She said to you and you smiled to her.

   "Hey Omega! I've got a name now." You told her and she looked at you excitedly. "My name is (Y/n)."

   "It suits you!" She said as she smiled. Nala Se patted your shoulder signaling for you to lay back, and you did while you frowned.

   "So what tests are you running on me?" You asked Nala Se.

  "I want to make sure that your vitals and immunity to disease are at optimum level. After they are done I will escort you to Unit 99's quarters." She told you and you nodded. You sat back and she drew some blood then put it in for testing. She and Omega went to the other side of the glass and the bed you were on slid into the x-ray machine. You closed your eyes so the lights wouldn't blind you. After a few minutes in the x-ray machine the bed slid back out again. You sat up and waited until Nala Se came back in. "You are clear to return to your unit. Come (Y/n)." You stood up and followed her out of the room, then she led you to the room your brothers were in.

   "Thank you Nala Se." You said and she bowed her head then left. You knocked on the door and Tech answered it.

   "You're back!" He said happily then pulled you into the room. You stumbled as you entered then the smell hit you.

   "It smells like the bathrooms after burrito day." You say and you hear a chuckle from behind you.

   "That would be Wreckers bunk. He doesn't believe in cleaning." Crosshair said and you exhaled through your nose.

   "So (Y/n) let's get to know you." Hunter said and gestured to the only table in the room. You sat down and waited for the first question.

   "Do you lead, or do you follow?" Hunter asked.

   "I do what I'm told to do... Sometimes." You tell him and he smiles.

   "Oh you'll fit in just fine." Hunter said and the others agreed. "So training?" Hunter asked and everyone got up to make your way to the training room.

          2,348 Words

[stillness-in-green]

thoughts on the new chapter? you said before spinneraki is a pillar in the story and i think this chapter continues to be evidence of that

For these two anons who asked for them, have some Chapter Thoughts, 411-version. Herein can be found two big chunks of musing about, respectively, OFA & Shigaraki and the Shigaraki+Deku+Spinner confluence, as well as the usual handful of stray thoughts.

(I'm also going to throw in a few last minute thoughts about plot events between here and the last chapter I had a post on, Chapter 392. They'll be off-the-cuff and not comprehensive; feel free to send an ask if there's anything specific you're curious about, though I can't at this time promise e.g. the twelve thousand word essay on why the AFO vs. All Might fight sucks rocks.)

Chapter Thoughts — Chapter 411: History's Greatest Villain

OFA Vestiges vs. Shigaraki Tomura

Shinomori remains my favorite OFA bearer by a large margin; I enjoy how his quirk allows him to be the one bearer with his act together this chapter.  I also like that him being the vestige that actively chooses to sacrifice “himself” for the good of the rest of One For All makes a nice bookend with my preferred headcanon that he was the bearer who had the power forced on him against his will.      That said, it is a bit ironic that Danger Sense surely had to rank right up near the top of OFA quirks that it’s most dangerous for Deku to lose to Shigaraki!  Like, throw Shigaraki En or something; Smoke Screen’s not going to let Shigaraki do anything Deku can’t counter with Danger Sense!  Sacrifice Nana; Deku and Shigaraki both already have ways to keep aloft enough.[1]  So I appreciate both the display of Shinomori’s instinctive heroism and the dramatic choice to deprive Deku of such a key component of his defense, after god knows how many chapters of dramatic choices I pretty much hate across the board.      1: That said, it does look like the person Shinomori shoved most directly out of the way was Banjo, his own successor, which speaks to their bond and also spares Deku losing a crucial quirk, as Black Whip has been his main way to exert any control at all over the battle with Shigaraki and is also helping keep his arms braced.  As someone who wanted those humerus consequences after the first war, I say, “Go, Shigaraki, go!  Get the Sixth next!”     

My god, the rest of them are such a mess this chapter.  Very funny, actually.  Shaking my head at them in there talking about how to “bring down” Shigaraki, who they know good and well Deku wants to help.  “Our entire reason for still existing!”  No, Bro Bro, you existed solely to take down All For One, which Bakugou et. al. have neatly taken care of for you.  The only other purpose ever given to you was to save people, but I guess you’ve already forgotten that.      Seriously, I love the discord this chapter, the panic and fear, particularly from the youthful En—watching that unified will crumble in the face of Shigaraki’s hatred is a wonderful balm to all the times I had to suffer through seeing commenters elsewhere on the internet blithely taking it for granted that One For All could never be stolen just because All Might said it was so, laughing it off when Ujiko promised Shigaraki otherwise.  My villain fan agenda aside, though, it’s also a rare highlight for Deku that I like, which I’ll circle back to.     

Regarding Shigaraki with Danger Sense, I know there was some discussion of whether he’d be able to fully utilize it against Deku when Deku wants to “save” him.  As giving Deku that out would have been the story yet again undermining the villains’ fairly won victories (and as Danger Sense has been so wildly inconsistently written that Horikoshi could have gotten away with practically anything), I’m pleased to see it’s working as intended!  That said, you probably could have some interesting discussion of exactly whose “intent” Danger Sense is picking up on.  Deku may want to help Shigaraki, but e.g. Banjo, Bruce and Kudou certainly don’t seem to want that!  Given how explicitly Kudou was synonymizing quirks and wills back in Chapter 369,[2] and particularly given that Shigaraki can perceive the vestiges now, it wouldn’t surprise me if their wills are bleeding over into Deku’s usage of their quirks.      2: I.e. the “gaslighting the readership about the historical usage of meta-ability terminology” chapter.     

I do wonder if this is set-up for Shinomori—and potentially other quirks as well, including any more OFA vestiges Shigaraki manages to snag!—giving us a tired retread of the “quirk vestiges mount a resistance against their unrightful bearer at a critical juncture” moments we saw with AFO, but I suppose that’d be what Shigaraki gets for trying to steal bits of OFA after saying previously that he didn’t care about it.  (Sigh.)

    

Deku, Spinner, and Shigaraki Tomura's "Personhood"

I appreciate Deku pushing back against Shigaraki’s dehumanization, though it does not escape me that he directs that pushback to Shigaraki himself, not any of the voices inside Deku’s head calling Shigaraki calamity and ruin incarnate, and certainly not any actual humans on his side in the real world.  It smacks of the same pattern heroes always fall into of leaping to castigate villains for things they tacitly ignore in their own allies.  Still, it is at least spoken aloud, and to Shigaraki’s face, which is a pleasant change.     

I swear to Christ, if after all this time Spinner becomes a bridge between Shigaraki and Deku after all, I am going to be so damn smug.  Albeit in different contexts, I called that years ago, and lo and behold, here we have Shigaraki, accused of having no friends, self-dehumanized, and depersonalized by Deku’s allies, immediately refute the point by bringing up his best friend of his own volition, tying his destruction to someone outside of himself.      While Deku hasn’t connected the dots on-page yet, he certainly can’t have missed it, though it remains to be seen how much about Spinner Deku actually knows/remembers from their encounter at the training camp—that encounter long being an important part of my reasoning that Spinner could, via his and Deku’s shared respect for Stain and desire to help Shigaraki, find some common ground.      Moreover, we get Deku flashing to Uraraka—as well he should!  Since Uraraka is the only one who managed to unearth some empathy for her designated villain foil without a familial or fated connection to them, she deserves to feature prominently in Deku’s attempts to connect with his own opposite number.     

I do wonder if we will yet get a flashback to the mall scene.  Honestly, Deku could have kickstarted his connection to Shigaraki all the way back then, when Shigaraki functionally laid his damage out in front of Deku like fine china, only for Deku to grab the first excuse anyone gave him to write it off and forget about it.  The story could probably get away with not reminding the readers of that—after all, Shigaraki hasn’t really changed his grievance since then, just expanded his invocation of blame!  His monologue at Jakku is just a refined version of what he said at the mall encounter, so the only reason to flash back to the less developed take is to have Deku vocalize that he could (and should!) have been wondering about Shigaraki as “a person, too” this whole time, instead of only coming to do so after their mindscape encounter.      Acknowledging the gaps in Saint Deku’s Miraculous Saving Instincts would go a long, long way towards softening me on the narrative BNHA’s been trying to sell me on its main character.     

Anyway, three cheers for Spinaraki; they never fuckin’ lose, do they?  It’s particularly gratifying in light of the way people on Twitter were speedrunning the shift from dismissing Spinner as unimportant to criticizing him as “toxic” as it became more and more clear that saving Shigaraki was going to be more complicated than just dealing with AFO.  People really thought that if Deku could just lay all the blame for Shigaraki’s anger at AFO’s feet, then he could just wipe it away, eradicating “Shigaraki Tomura”—who was never really a person anyway, just fifteen years of grooming and coping mechanisms—and leaving behind only sweet, innocent, undemanding Shimura Tenko.      But if Shigaraki was carrying anger for others, blame for wrongs that couldn’t be attributed to AFO, suddenly that narrative got messier.  Suddenly the League needed to be Bad For Each Other, needed to be separated for their own good, redeemed by the grace of their designated student foils—and nowhere was that trickier than with Spinner, who didn’t have one, and whose every flashback post-war made it clearer and clearer that he had a relationship with Shigaraki that went beyond the League’s stated purpose as an alliance of Villains to bring down Hero Society.      The tidier version of the story would still be salvageable if Shigaraki didn’t really care about Spinner more than anyone else in the League, if Spinner’s devotion were one-sided, if Shigaraki didn’t determine to share Spinner’s grievance.  If Spinner’s problems aren’t Shigaraki’s problems too, then Deku doesn’t have to address them.  And but so, the mad scramble to invalidate the connection by any means possible.      But then here comes Shigaraki not just mentioning Spinner, but mentioning something Spinner wanted that Spinner never even told him about on the page, meaning either Shigaraki was paying close enough attention to Spinner to simply intuit it, or he and Spinner had an off-page conversation about Deika where Spinner in all his insecurity was able to admit to Shigaraki that he thought his horizon was beautiful.  And not only does Shigaraki remember this, he dedicates his destruction of Mount Fuji to Spinner and the horizon.      Not so one-sided after all, is it?     

That all said, of course it’s also worth asking if Spinner actually wants the horizon anymore.  Judging by his tormented inner reflections when striving to reach Kurogiri, that doesn’t really seem to be the case.  At the end of Spinner’s strength, what he truly remembers and treasures is the time he and Shigaraki spent just dicking around talking about video games—just being friends.  Spinner wants Shigaraki to get what he wants—but if they’re both just crediting That Beautiful Horizon to each other without realizing it’s not really about what they themselves want anymore, where does that leave them?      One suspects that was one function of the possession plot—keeping them from talking to each other freely and being able to figure that out themselves.  As it is, with the possession plot seemingly off the table, at least for now, that brings us back to Deku and his resolution to reach the humanity in Shigaraki Tomura—a humanity that Shigaraki just helpfully signposted by referencing his friend Spinner.      So how long until we cut away to find out where the Rooftop Trio and Spinner have gotten off to?

    

Stray Thoughts

Re: Mount Fuji, Horikoshi’s grasp of travel times remains as totally unhinged as ever.  Someone who can make rudimentary animations needs to use that battle map volume extra to demonstrate exactly the distances that would have to traversed by All For One, U.A., All Might and especially Lady Nagant and her bullets in this final arc for them to keep arriving where the story needs them to be.     

I see the artistic indication is very much that Shigaraki can just spread Decay wherever he walks now.  That’s both wonderfully evocative for the embodied destructive divine impulse he’s nominally become and also a bit amusing, because if you can unlock a touch-based quirk to spread through your feet, maybe Overhaul’s not out of luck just yet after all.  XD     

Good riddance to the mask!  As others have pointed out, it’s modelled on All Might’s smile, and is therefore the last thing Deku should be wearing right now, given that Shigaraki has specifically expressed, to Deku’s face, that he hates All Might’s fucking smile, “As if there’s no one he can’t save!”  Hope Shigaraki gets that damn cape next, such as is left of it.

    

Events Up To Now (Chapters 393 - 410)

The resolution of the Ochaco vs. Toga fight is very solid emotionally, though hampered by yet more nerfing of Toga's power set to make sure she can't do all the damage she should logically be capable of doing, as well as a lot of incredibly tiresome shoehorning in of mentions of Deku just to make sure everyone gets how Not Homo it is for Ochaco to tell Toga she's the cutest girl in the whole world. But I love that Toga remains unrepentant and faithful to Shigaraki to the end. I will turn a lot less nice about this if Toga turns out to have actually died here, however.      (She should have gotten to stab fucking Hawks.)     

The All Might vs. AFO fight sucks rocks. The mech suit makes a nonsense of All Might's primary arc post-Kamino, it's flatly irreconcileable with his characterization throughout the Edgy Deku arc, it leans on a bond with the 1-A students that he has entirely failed to earn, and it parades their identies and power sets out in front of the world with absolutely zero indication that he ever asked them if they were okay with that. As an answer to the "quirkless hero" question it is purest sophistry, laughably detached from reality.     

The world's reaction to the All Might vs. AFO fight sucks rocks. The return of Wishing Energy is the obvious point of note, but I prefer to focus on how patently ridiculous it is that across the multitudinous barriers of age, language, culture, politics, national attitude, wealth level, and views on heroism, everyone in the world who watches the battle and gets into it enough to really pay attention is magically able to intuit that the man in the black military hardware suit injecting acid into the underclothed twelve-year-old is the "Hero."     

Kunieda is a delight and he and Aoyama should have had history going back to AFO's sway over the family.     

Shigaraki is great when he's getting actual attention, but as part and parcel of the AFO vs. All Might fight sucking on such intergalactic levels, it made Shigaraki awful, too, reducing him to generic last boss counting-his-evil-chickens-before-they're-hatched gloating. Praying we see no more of that going forward.     

It is extremely headshaking in retrospect that the Heroes actively acknowledged during the planning process for all this that they would prefer to engage with the AFO persona in Shigaraki than Shigaraki himself, the Heroes then find out during the battle that AFO is trying to get to Shigaraki with the specific aim of reawakening said persona, and yet the Jakku team, All Might and Bakugou still blow interminable fucking chapters on preventing AFO from doing the exact thing that would get them back the persona they explicitly stated it would be preferable to deal with.     

Edgeshot continues to be Just The Worst, not even having the decency to wait until the endgame to confirm what I predicted back when the nonsense about repairing Bakugou's heart first came up: that, "You won't be able to come back from this," is a bald-faced lie intended to ratchet up tension, one that would be rolled back the instant the danger was past and Bakugou could be gotten to a proper hospital room.     

AFO's backstory is the laziest of lazy dreck. The new information soundly deprives Yoichi of the marginal amounts of agency he had previously managed to suggest he exercised, conflicts with what's been previously implied about the brothers' personal history, fails to reconcile the child AFO with the man we met in Deku's dream prior to Joint Training, and reduces all of the interpersonal drama between AFO, Yoichi and Kudou into nothing more than a reason for Bakugou to inspire fear and distress in BabyFO. (See @robotlesbianjavert's post and Nal's tags on it here, and @codenamesazanka's post here.)     

Omni-Factor Unleash is a retread of Kamino AND Overhaul's minion forms AND Akira-fied Shigaraki. You guys, I think maybe Horikoshi is Bad At Coming Up With Final Boss Attacks.

[shiguangism]

Presentation

Hi, I'm anchestral and I'm mainly a fan writer who landed here on tumblr after years of being active on twitter!

Some info about me:

Pronouns: she/her

Age: 22

Languages: Italian, English and Spanish

Fandoms I'm active in: Link Click, Chainsaw man

Favourite shows: Link Click, Chainsaw man, Jojo's bizarre adventure, Tokyo Ghoul, Haikyuu, Berserk, and many others I won't list here. Just fyi, name me a show and probably I've watched it.

I've moved here because twitter was not a comfortable place for me anymore, and I've seen that tumblr is much more chill wrt those lands. Please, be aware that I will NOT engage in any kind of arguing online, so don't even bother to pick a fight with me, I've had very BAD experiences I don't want to repeat.

I'm here just to chill, talk to people about my favourite show, share insights and maybe make some friends. I'm very friendly, if you want to hit me up in the dm to talk about something, I'll answer very gladly whenever I cant! :)

If you're shy you can send me anon, I'll be very happy to answer.

Fanfictions:

In this year I've been writing a lot, I've always liked writing and I started when I was only 14. However, I'm a bit slow because I like to write first in my native language and then translate in English. Below, there is a list of my fanfic profiles and the works I like the most and I'm writing. This are my profiles for AO3 and EFP (Italian platform for fics):

AO3: Anchestral

EFP: Anchestral

Link Click Fanfictions:

Immersion: In which Cheng Xiaoshi goes back into the past to save Lu Guang

Summary: ‘Three are the rules we need to respect: first, we have twelve hours; second, listen to my instructions and don't change anything; third, leave to the past what's in the past and don't ask about the future.' Cheng Xiaoshi knew them well, Lu Guang told him those rules everytime before working. By then, he learned not to question them, they didn't know what could happen playing with the past and modifying it. But did the rules still make any sense if Lu Guang was dead?

Prevision: In which Lu Guang goes back into the past to save Cheng Xiaoshi

Summary: Lu Guang did not make mistakes, he always evaluated all the possibilities in front of him rationally, it was what he had to do to allow the survival of both of them, to allow their time travels to go as smooth as possible, but letting himself be dragged into Cheng Xiaoshi's do-gooder madness had been the first big mistake of a long chain. September 12th 2020 was the day when that realization hit him like a sucker punch straight in the center of his chest, leaving him on the floor gasping for air, in pain.

These two fics are actually related!

火锅 - Hotpot (E-Rated): Just a collection of nsfw one-shots, but it is getting serious. For now, there is only one chapter out, but I'm working on the second and it is becoming huge.

There are many ways to spice up a relationship: may it be a hot bowl of noodles, a dark room with way too red lights, or a bet on who's going to wash the dishes for the rest of the month... The possibilities are endless when starved eyes are looking at you as if they're going to devour you any time soon, leaving you feeling naked and in trembles. ----- 5 times Cheng Xiaoshi and Lu Guang have steamy, hot sex + 1 time they can't. (the formula may be subjected to changes)

Chainsaw Man Fanfictions:

Dancin' in the devil's hand (E-rated):

Summary: The metropolis of Tokyo is torn apart by a series of unexplained, brutal murders, but all of them seem to be connected by a single thread. In this climate of terror, Aki Hayakawa has been given the onerous task of bringing light and a point to this story. --- An unexplainable mystery to solve that will lead Aki and Angel to work together, closer than ever, and maybe will give them the chance to understand something more about themselves and each other...

There are also many other one-shots, most of them are in Italian, thought, and I'm not particularly fond of the other translated because I was still trying to adjust my writing again!

I think I've said everything. I'm sorry if I make some mistakes, I'm very new to this site and I'm still trying to understand how the netiquette works, especially the one tied to the reblogs and the tags.

See you around! :3