#i'm not gonna recover from this for several working days

[notitlemp3]

my review of the fontaine archon quest act v:

i thought the sumeru story was sad. I THOUGHT THE SUMERU STORY WAS SAD

[wickedhawtwexler]

i found out today that i wasn't the only person on my team to get laid off, which makes me feel better. misery loves company etc

[pedripics]

Pedri via Residency - July 18, 2024

How are you feeling? - "Incredible! Winning the Euros was crazy"

How is the injury? - "Better every day. I've just started my holidays, but I'm training every day to recover and start the season at the top of my game"

Winning the World Cup? - "I can't even imagine that feeling. It's the dream that every child who plays football wants to fulfil. I have already won LaLiga with Barça and now the Euros with Spain. Now on to the Champions League and the World Cup"

How did your family react to seeing you win the Euros? - "They were very happy! They were with us at every game of the tournament and at the celebrations"

Feelings for next season? - "Very good, both personally and as a team. It could be a great year"

Winning World Cup or Champions League? - "Why choose? That's like choosing between your dad and mom"

How did you feel when you were lying on the ground because of your injury? - "I knew what he had done to me that was going to stop me from playing. I was in pain and also annoyed that I had to stop because of the injury."

Do you like Japan? - "Yes! I like sushi... and I won an Olympic medal there"

Will Nico come to Barça? - "I have no answer to that question. What is clear is that he would be a great signing for Barça. He has shown what he is capable of in the Euros"

Would you play as a goalkeeper? - "Hahahaha that's what my father was there for. There is no need for more goalkeepers in my family"

Did you have a great time at the Euros celebrations? - "I had a crazy time, actually. It was a moment of celebration with the whole country after a great tournament. Although I had to take care of my knee at all times. The rest of the players didn't have that problem 🥲" (kroos i am gonna find you istg)

Where do you see yourself in 5 years? - "Well... playing football at the highest level, like now. In the future I want to start a family, but in 5 years i am not so sure"

Is it fun to do photoshoots? - "I always say no to my team and especially at the beginning I was embarrassed, but now I'm used to it. I try to have fun and have a good time, although I prefer a ball to a camera"

Advice when you suffer from your first big injury? - "Well, be patient, because in the end, with work and effort, the good times return"

Feelings for the new season? - "I think it's going to be really good. Now it's time to rest a bit and recover and get back to work as soon as possible under the orders of the new coach. We are sure that this new season will bring us a lot of joy."

Do you have a favourite female singer? - "Hora Cero, by Myke Towers, is the one I've liked the most lately... and of course 'Pedro' by Raffaella Carrá" (sir that's not an answer and we both know it lol)

Real Madrid will win La Liga again - "Veremos..."

Advice for young players? - "Have fun playing and try not to lose the things that street football gives you"

Favourite teammate? - "Ferran. The truth is, he is a great teammate and friend. He always supports me and gives me advice"

Is Ferran single? - "I would say so, unless he's gotten a girlfriend since Tuesday when I haven't seen him"

Your best friend? - "I have several. Dani, Fran and Rubén, who have been my friends since childhood"

Are you excited about the new Camp Nou? - "I am already looking forward to playing there again. Playing at the Camp Nou will surely help us on be on top... The visit impressed me, because of the project and because I saw how it works inside"

Where are you on vacation? - "As always, I am on holidays on my island, in Tenerife"

Where do you see yourself in 10 years? Looking like my profile picture (a picture of him being bald)? - "Yessss. Everyone is asking me if I am going bald... one day I will, for sure! That's easier than having Cucurella's hair"

Dream vacation? - "Wherever it is, with my family and friends"

Who do you think will be the next Golden Boy? - "Lamine, 100x100"

Tea or coffee? - "I drink neither"

Are you learning English? - "I learnt a bit… let's see if after the holidays I really get into it and speak it properly soon"

Where did your obsession with bananas come from? - "It's not an obsession. It's true that i really like them and in the Canary Islands, it's a typical product used in many recipes"

What do you do so bad comments don't affect you? - "do things as good as possible. I know what I do and what I do not do; I cannot control what people say or invent"

You promised to grow a mustache. When will you do it? - "Maybe I am doing it these days and then I will share some photos" (NO PLEASE DON'T)

[bonny-kookoo]

Jungkook

𝓘𝓷𝓽𝓻𝓲𝓷𝓼𝓲𝓬 [Main Work]

You're supposed to keep him in check and integrate him into earth's society while he recovers from the aftereffects of catching a viral infection on his planet. All that, while you get to earn a pretty good monthly compensation for your efforts from the government of his and your planet.

Or more simplified: You're a paid babysitter for a 7' tall alien who's caught a virus that makes him act purely on instincts, rather than logic. Oh yeah- and he tried to eat your neighbor's pet bird. Yeah...

Tags/Warnings: Alien!Jungkook, Human!Reader, Yes I'm writing that story..., mentions of doctors visits (needles, injections, medical terms, blood), mild Angst, so much chaos, he almost eats a bird once oops, mild Angst, strangers to lovers, more TBA

Length: 4k words

A/N: THERE IS NO TAGLIST. THERE IS NO TAGLIST FOR THIS. THERE REALLY ISNT. DO NOT ASK.

-> Masterlist

━━━━━━━━━━.~°👽°~.━━━━━━━━━━━

"Are you sure that's a good Idea?" Jimin asks, and you shrug, dipping your piece of bread in the sauce.

"Yeah, why not?" You say. "They're not dangerous or anything. I've met Yoongi, and he's cool. Can live alone, even!" You tell your best friend across from you, who doesn't seem convinced.

"Yoongi is different though. He's, like, recovered already." Jimin says. "You'll be getting one straight out of quarantine. I'm sorry but, are you sure you can handle that?" He worries, and you roll your eyes.

"Jimin you're acting as if he's gonna try and murder me in my sleep." You scoff, denying any of his worries. "I went to all the lessons and readings and educational stuff- I wouldn't have gotten approved if I didn't. So calm down, I got this." You chuckle.

Jimin simply shrugging, well aware he can't change your mind.

"Jungkook, no, come on." The careworker who's nametag reads 'Kim Namjoon' gently says, holding the hand of who you assume must be Jeon Jungkook-

26-year-old Vrota, straight out of quarantine, having been brought to earth for treatment earlier this year. He likes sports, has a pretty big appetite, and dislikes being left alone for too long. He used to work as a physical health coach before catching the virus on Vilia, and stayed in self-isolation for about half a year before being sent to earth to be treated in quarantine for the most severe portion of his sickness.

Now, he's deemed healthy enough to stay with a human 'caretaker'- or babysitter, how you'd call it. And to be honest, you didn't really think much about taking care of a Vrota at first, having met one by the name of Min Yoongi during your earlier days at the education center for Vilian people- and he was a pretty cool guy.

What you didn't take into thought was apparently that Vrota can look very different just like humans. So yeah.. the guy standing in front of you right now with his big brown cat-eyes and colorful tattoos isn't really comparable to the chill, rather laid back Yoongi you had met.

No.

Fuck no.

Walking into your home is a at least 7-foot tall young man of your age, simply black shirt stretching over the muscles of his biceps, jeans seeming to barely contain his thigh muscles. Jesus christ.

Maybe Jimin was right in his worries that you might end up dead at the end of this.

"So, Jungkook here doesn't have any allergies, so you don't have to worry about that. He's overall low maintenance, sleeps a lot, but when he's awake you might want to start taking him out a bit, since he get's a bit restless if he's got nothing to occupy himself with." Namjoon explains, giving you all the necessary papers in an envelops, while Jungkook walks around to explore your apartment. "Also, don't be intimidated by him. He's gone through multiple rounds of behavioral analysis, and has been deemed no threat whatsoever." He offers when he notices you watch the way the young man walks around, looking at pictures on your wall.

"So like, I guess he has to put that on when we go out?" You wonder, pointing at the simple black collar with a GPS tracking device on it.

"Yes, please. And also, keep a hold of his hand, just so he doesn't get lost." Namjoon chuckles.

"Sorry, but I don't think me holding him by his hand is gonna do much." You joke, making Namjoon chuckle.

"Ah, no-" He agrees. "-it's not to physically keep him with you. It just reassures him, in a way. He enjoys physical contact a lot." he explains.

"So- does he talk?" You wonder, watching how Jungkook looks out the windows, cat eyes jumping around at the nature and scenery outside.

"Sometimes, but barely. He understands speech fluently though. It'll take some time for him to come out of his shell, but once he's comfortable, he'll talk. The virus didn't injure his brain whatsoever, so he's expected to make a full recovery by the end of this year." Namjoon informs you, and you nod. "His scheduled appointments are in there, his current doctors are marked down as well. If you can't take him to one of those appointments, please call in advance, alright? Otherwise they'll immediately try and pick him up themselves, and that's gonna be a lot of paperwork on your side, and a lot of unnecessary stress on his." He explains further, and you nod.

"So, basically- cook him food, make sure he doesn't go missing, and take him to his doctors. Got it." You nod, making Namjoon chuckle.

"Pretty much. Like I said, he's rather low maintenance. You can occupy him with video games or movies as well- and when it comes to food, he's not picky. Doesn't like sour snacks though." He laughs, and you nod.

"No sour stuff, got it." You nod, and at that, Namjoon claps his hands together.

"Alright kook, I'm gonna leave you here then." He says, making the man in question walk closer again, nodding. "Do you like it here?" He wonders, and Jungkook shrugs, looking around-

before he nods, looking at you.

"Alright. His clothes and everything has arrived, right?" Namjoon asks, and you nod.

"All in his room." You say, making Namjoon nod.

"Don't cause too much trouble, alright?" He tells Jungkook, who nods a bit deflated, visibly a bit upset he's gonna leave now. But he doesn't show it too much, waves Namjoon goodbye until the door closes, leaving him alone with you.

"Your room is here-" You say, leading him to a small guest room where he spots his suitcases on the bed. "I didn't unpack them, cause.. privacy and stuff. So you can do that while I make something to eat?" You ask, and he nods, walking past you- and only now do you realize just how much taller he really is than you.

Jesus christ.

You break away your eyes from the sight of his broad back to instead run into your kitchen, putting away the papers and starting to cook instead to both calm yourself down- and make sure Jungkook feels comfortable too.

━━━━━━━━━━.~°👽°~.━━━━━━━━━━━

It's been a few weeks- and thinks have definitely settled quite well.

You're currently sitting in the waiting room of the doctor's office- waiting to be called in, as Jungkook keeps rubbing his ear. "No, don't." You quietly scold him with a soft tone, carefully pulling his hand down by his biceps, causing him to whine under his breath in complaint.

He's been having some issues with it recently- an underlying problem that had been overlooked due to more pressing issues. An elderly woman with a young looking Vrota girl smiles at you from where she sits across, watching rather fondly how you hold Jungkook's hand in yours. Namjoon had been right- it works wonders in reassuring the young man.

And it also kept him close at your side.

"Jeon Jungkook?" Is called by a nurse, and you follow her into one of the examination rooms, where Jungkook sits down on the bed, while you took a seat close by on a chair. It's routine to you both by now, after all. "Ah, there. Hello!" The doctor offers, bowing politely before he sits down across from you behind his table. "So- apparently he's got some trouble with his ear?" He wonders, and you nod.

"He's been pretty frustrated with it for some days now. Keeps rubbing it, and he doesn't like it being touched either." You inform the man, who nods and writes some stuff down in his computer with the help of his keyboard.

"Hm yeah, that looks pretty sore." The man says as he inspects Jungkook's ear further, his tail whipping around as he tries to stay composed.

Unbeknownst to you, he only really does it to impress you.

As soon as the doctor is done, Jungkook get's up to walk closer to where you sit, hand curiously playing with the shoulder strap of your top while the doctor explains what medication Jungkook will have to take. Touches like this aren't unusual- Namjoon had been right, after all. The Vrota standing next to you is very touchy, enjoying you close and seemingly seeking you whenever he can. From sitting on the couch so closely next to each other that your legs are touching, to snoozing during a nap with his full upper body on your thighs.

It's what happens later when you're back home, as you're scrolling around on your phone, while he purrs in his sleep on your thighs. He's full on hugging your middle, arms around you keeping you close while the tip of his tail moves a little as he dreams. He really is currently like a big cat in a humanoid body- and you wonder if it's still the aftereffects of his virus, or if he's always like this in general.

Almost as if on pure instinct, one of your hands falls into his slightly curly hair, nails running over his scalp, and at that, his almost unnoticeable purr turns into vibrant rumbling in his chest. His arms wrap a bit tighter around your body as he adjusts his position, a soft smile on his face as he buries his nose in the front of your t-shirt. In this moment, you have to think about Jimin, and his big worries.

What a load of bullshit, you think to yourself, as you watch the happy cat-boy-alien snuggle just a little closer to you.

━━━━━━━━━━.~°👽°~.━━━━━━━━━━━

Scratch that. Scratch all of that. This young man is a menace, and you'll surely go to jail for not looking after him by the end of this entire situation.

"Jungkook…" You say, at a stand-off with the big cat-like alien across from you who stares you down with his stupidly cute big round eyes as if he's not doing anything wrong. "Where is pudgy?" You ask, and at that he fully turns around, squirming bird in his hand. "Jungkook, no, no no no-!" You dramatically call out, hands reaching for him- when he looks at the bird, then at you. "Give him to me, yeah?" you try, and he seems completely taken aback for a moment, and almost- shy?

Unbeknownst to you, he thinks you want the bird for something entirely different. In his mind, you're not asking for the bird itself- you're asking for him to offer it for you.

You want him to… court you?

He seems to deeply think for a good moment as he watches the bird breathe heavily, it's life probably flashing before it's very eyes before Jungkook brightly grins, sharp canine teeth making his happy grin look more dangerous than it probably is.

You don't know why he's suddenly so chipper, tail held high and eyes sparkling.

Suddenly, he holds the bird out to you like he's offering it rather than returning it- and you carefully take the poor thing from his rough hold, accepting it. It's something that makes the tip of his tail snap upwards in excitement, eyes scanning you for every reaction as you walk back.

"I'll be… right back.." You carefully tell Jungkook, who shrugs. "Do not do anything while I'm gone." You warn, before you dash out the front door to return the pet yet again, violently knocking on your neighbor's door.

"What?!" Seokjin yells almost, when you hold out his bird to him. "Pudgy!"

"Yeah, fuck your bird Jin!" You yell at the young man. "Jungkook almost fucking ate him, keep the thing in his cage for god's sake! Do you know how much trouble I would've been in if he actually ate him? I'm not ensured for accidental pet-ingestion!" You complain, making the man laugh a little.

"I'll keep the windows closed from now on." He reassures you, and you nod, pinching the bridge of your nose as you make your way back downstairs into your apartment-

where a not so happy Jungkook waits, arms crossed and tail whipping angrily from side to side behind him, knocking down some papers on the kitchen table. He's clearly unhappy, growling a little with every breath, eyes sharp and glaring at you dangerously.

"What happened?" You wonder, and Jungkook himself wants to just yell at you.

You're so stupid, he thinks to himself.

Why would you insult him like that? He caught that bird, and you wanted it- so he offered it, thinking you finally understood his intentions at this point- but no. Instead you insult him by giving HIS offering to that stupid human man upstairs, as if to mock him!

Do you want something more impressive? Maybe a tiny bird isn't enough to win you over. But on earth, there's not much prey to hunt- and considering he's a little bound to the interior of your apartment, he doesn't have any other options, really. And even if he was to catch something better- like the deer he'd almost caught if it wasn't for you scolding him for it- you still don't seem to like that at all. He doesn't know what else he could do to impress you.

What the hell do human woman want?!

Maybe he just really chose to court the most stupid and ungrateful human he could find- but he'll make sure you understand his intentions soon enough, and he'll teach you proper manners as well, once he's better. Right now, he's still unable to really do much in his state- but once he recovers a little more, he'll make sure.

He'll make sure you know exactly what he wants from you.

━━━━━━━━━━.~°👽°~.━━━━━━━━━━━

It's been a few months, and Jungkook has started to find his voice again, it seems like.

He hums a lot when doing household tasks, sings to himself while he folds laundry, throws random half-sentences at you here and there whenever he feels like doing so. And all of that is fine and dandy- if it wasn't for that very specific nickname he's come up with for you. You try to tell yourself that he just doesn't know any better, that he's just overly friendly, that there's no way he'd be using it for those specific reasons. It doesn't help that he's horribly attractive, and nice, and, ugh.

This is getting more complicated than you hoped it would.

"Kitty!" He chirps, as he leans over the couch, and holds something out to you. You can't help but flinch a bit internally at the way he says that nickname. You're guessing it came from when he'd asked what those cat-plushies in your bed had been called, and you had answered Hello Kitty to him. He'd laughed, pointed at the toy, and then pointed at your cheeks, poking them.

Ever since then, you'd been stuck with that name in his head, it seems like.

You eat from his fingers as he puts the piece of meat on your tongue, an odd, focused gaze on the action found in his eyes as he licks his own lips the same way you do yours. "It's good!" You praise, and he grins brightly, eagerly running back into your kitchen to finish whatever he's cooking. He's been becoming a lot more independent- and it makes you a little sad, considering that once he's deemed healthy enough, he'll leave you behind, move back to his planet one day, and forget you even existed.

A little bit of a bummer, really. But at the same time, there's nothing you can do about it. You don't feel good about asking him out- because what if he feels obligated to say yes?

It's like he senses the slight shift in your mood, slowly walking back up to the couch again where you sit, sitting down next to you on the couch, knees digging into the soft cushions while he curiously watches you with a tilted head. "Huh?" You wonder, smiling- but he frowns, shakes his head.

"What?" He asks. "Sad?" He questions, and you shrug, shaking your head.

"No no, don't worry." You shake it off. "Are you done cooking? Turned everything off?" You ask him, and he nods, but doesn't let off from his question it seems. He opens his arms, makes a grabbing motion with his hands, and you laugh. "You want a hug?" You giggle, but he shakes his head.

"No, you." He argues gently, urging you once more. "You, hug. Sad." He explains, and you laugh.

"Jungkook, I'm not sad." You say, and suddenly, his hands flop down, a frustrated look on his face.

"Don't want?" He hufffs. "Hug me?" He complains, and you look at him with questioning eyes.

"I do wanna hug you, kook." You say, and he perks up at the nickname used. "Just- you don't have to do that just cause I'm like, not feeling happy." You explain to him. "I'm here to take care of you, after all, not the other way around." You laugh, and he watches you a bit more serious right now.

"Right." He suddenly says with a flat tone. "You.. hm, get paid." He says more or less to himself. "For me." He finishes his sentence, sitting properly on the couch now, feet on the floor, arms crossed.

"I mean.. yeah." You say, carefully. "You're gonna leave as soon as you're good to go, you know that." You say. "Would be kinda weird to start like, a friendship or stuff when your stay is limited down the line. I just wanna look out for you- and myself too. Save us the hurt later on." You shrug, and at that, a lightbulb seems to blink out of nowhere over his head, as he looks at you.

"So you? Like me?" He asks, and you stammer an answer.

"Uh, no- like, yeah as a guy you're pretty cool but like I said-" You scramble for an explanation, but he just crawls back on the couch, over you, until he's got you practically pinned down beneath him.

"You like.. me." He says, as if it's a fact- and yeah, it is one. But it shouldn't be. "I like you." He offers. "I.. tried, hm.. Im-pressive- impress you!" He seems to think hard to make his words make sense, brain still a bit slow most of the time when he tries to talk. It shows by the way he still stutters, gets stuck on syllables or by the way his brows scrunch together in thought. "But you- dumb!" He scolds, pointing at your head.

"What the fuck- I'm not dumb!" You complain, and he laughs, sharp canine teeth showing.

"Yes!" He argues, though he seems to not mean it badly. "Really dumb!" He continues.

"Well at least I don't try to eat the local animal population!" You argue.

"But- offer!" He argues, tail puffed up and swaying around. "I need.. to impress! Hunt!" He complains.

"For what?" You laugh.

"You!" He whines loudly. "Mate, make mate- impress mate! You, so you- argh!" He growls out, and you can't help but laugh.

"Jungkook." You softly say, and he looks at you with a face looking like you just told him he has to sleep on the balcony outside. "You don't have to do that, you know? Just cause I take care of you, doesn't mean you.. have to like, be nice like that." You say, and at that, he huffs angrily to himself, tail all fluffy as the fur stands out to all ends in his growing frustration, his arms crossed.

"No.!" He argues. "Stupid!" He curses, getting up to walk into his bedroom, before he emerges back out with some papers in his hand, and red ears as he slaps them on the couch, fleeing the scene right after before slamming the door shut, and locking the door.

And on your couch are two papers, one of them having writing on both sides- the handwriting sloppy and crooked, but readable. And while some sentences don't make sense, it seems like he's tried to take his time and write down what he can't say, at the moment.

'Kitty is stupid' is written on top of the first paper, and you scoff to yourself. 'Kitty doesn't get it.' it reads further.

'I want cry. I catch her prey, I offer it, and she give away to man downstairs. Man downstairs can't even hunt at all, keeps stupid bird in a cage but doesn't ever eat it. Who keeps food alive in home? Why she likes him I don't know- he stupid, just like her. But I like her. Maybe I can teach her one day. But what if she hunt for her then? No, I want to do that.'

'I want to show that I can be good partner. I learned to cook with human foods! She likes food, likes eating. I like eating too, so we eat together often. Then we hug, and she scratches my head. I like that. She's warm.'

'Maybe she doesn't like me. Doesn't like my kind. Doesn't want my kind. Or me. Just me? Maybe just me. I'm the problem. She doesn't want me.'

You turn the page around. It's written with a different pen- probably written on a different day.

'She likes me. I know she do.'

'I made nest for her, today, and she smiled. Smiled happy, cute, like kitty-toys on her bed. Has cheeks round just like them. Soft, too. She is soft. Body soft. I like holding her often. I like holding her in nest I made. And she hugged me, too. Let me hold her instead. Normal, she hold me. But this time, I hold her. I want to hold her more from now. She can be held anytime she want. She smells nice too. Smells best when happy, and after shower.'

You chuckle as you remember that day. It had been raining, you'd gotten caught up in it on the way home from grocery shopping, and after putting all things away and showering, Jungkook had waited on the couch for you, blankets from his bed placed on it, his hand inviting you to sleep there with him. And you had simply accepted the offer-

After all, you didn't know what exactly he'd been trying to offer you with those pillows and blankets placed there. You were educated on his physical health and general behavior- not about courting rituals and how to spot if the Vrota you've been taking care of has developed a romantic interest in you. Why the hell would they teach that anyways? It's not like they are known to have a huge interest in humans.

If anything, they're typically looking down on humans.

You move the paper, and turn to the last one. There's not much written on it, but the sentences are clearer, showing how his health had started to increase again, brain starting to work better these days. They're not perfect, there's a lot scribbled out, but it's clear that it must've been written recently.

'I don't know if she enjoy my company as much as I do her. I know she gain money from taking care of me, but it feels like she also doing it because she care about me. Will she abandon me once I am healthy? Will she leave me once I recover? Will I forget her if I go back home? What if home is here now and not where home was? I don't want to go home anymore if she not there.'

'It's not home if she's not there. It's just a house, just a planet, just a place. But I want home. I want to be her home. I want us to be each other home.'

Can you even be a home? You haven't at all planned any further than up until he's healthy enough to go back home. You've got no clue what to really do after he leaves- so what the hell are you supposed to do now? A relationship with him would be perfectly legal, sure, but he's also only got a Visa for his earth-stay up until he's healthy enough to return to his home planet, once they've gotten their whole pandemic situation back under control. You don't know what to do now.

Maybe you really are stupid, like he says.

So you decide to be even more stupid, as you take a small post it note from your kitchen, and write down a single sentence, before you slide the little note under his bedroom door.

And as he reads it, his eyes become wide, while his fingers clench the pastel pink paper.

'I want to be your home, too.'

[pulisicsgirl]

breathe, you're okay - mason mount

summary: when the mounting pressure of a Women's UCL run is falling on Y/N's shoulders, she isn't handling it by herself as well as she would like everyone to believe she is

pairing: Mason Mount x footballer!reader

word count: 2.9k

warnings/tags: hurt/comfort, no established relationship, !!descriptions of a panic attack!!, discussions about mental heath, supportive Mase

requested: no

notes: surprise!! I'm sorry I haven't posted in months-- my life kind of went up in flames over the summer and I haven't had the time to write that I was hoping to. I have a few WIPs in my drafts, and I am still working on all of your requests! Please let me know what you think of this!

The hot afternoon sun beat down on you, and you felt the drops of sweat sliding down the side of your head and tickling the hairs on the back of your neck. Your heartbeat pounded in your ears as you ran up and down the field, weaving between cones, carrying the ball at your feet, running through a series of consecutive drills that were designed to refine your skills and test your endurance.

You did your best to recall the instructions that your coach had carefully laid out before the team began the drill, but with the heat and the fatigue that was seeping all the way into your bones, it seemed impossible to remember. You wound up relying on the teammate in front of you to recall what you needed to do next.

You let out a heavy sigh of relief when you heard the sound of the whistle—two short chirps, signaling for you to halt your movements. You draped your arms over your head, drawing in deep, heaving breaths as you attempted to get your heart rate under control.

You joined the rest of your teammates as they gathered around the coach, preparing for his parting words before everyone was dismissed.

“Good session today, ladies,” he clapped his hands in front of him, looking around the circle. “I’m seeing a lot of good things. A lot of improvement in our touches and finishing. You all are looking really good.”

A couple of the girls clapped at his words, the rest too exhausted to do anything but listen.

“We have the day off tomorrow, so use it well. Rest, recover, and come back Monday ready to go. We’ve got some heavy prep next week before the second leg on Friday,” he continued, and a couple others whooped, getting excited for the upcoming big game.

“They’re gonna be a really tough opponent, I’ll be honest. We know that their back line is really strong, tough to break through.” Your coach’s eyes fell on you, and you knew what was coming next before he even began to speak, your stomach sinking slightly. “But that’s what we have Miss Y/N, for, right?”

Several of the girls cheered for you. The girls near you slapped you on the back, trying to get you hyped up. And the weight that had settled in the pit of your stomach grew heavier.

The Manchester United women were on an impressive UEFA Women’s Champions League run, overcoming seemingly insurmountable odds to make it to the semifinal. And according to the media (and now your own teammates and coaches), it was all thanks to you.

In the group stage, a decisive game in which your team had gone down 2-0 in the first half had seemed hopeless until you had scored two goals in the second, assisting on the third to put your team through to the knockout games. Another three goal contributions in the quarter-final matches had put you in the spotlight of all of the team’s media coverage, thrusting a wave of attention upon you that you had never asked for.

You had gone down 1-0 in the first leg of the semi-final, and now you were playing from behind. And it seemed that everyone expected you to be the one to pull them out of it.

So now, you were left feeling the pressure as the second leg was fast approaching.

“Alright, ladies. Have a good rest of the day and a great day off tomorrow.” He clapped his hands, dismissing you all. The circle of girls dispersed, chatting among themselves.

“Am I still leaving the cones out for you?” the coach raising his eyebrows at you. You only nodded in return. “Okay, don’t work yourself to death.”

You laughed humorlessly as you fiddled with the ball at your feet, not meeting his eyes.

“Hey,” he said, resting a hand on your shoulder to try to draw your attention to him. “Get some rest tomorrow, okay? We all see how hard you’re working. Give yourself a break.”

Another nod is all that you can muster, and you don’t miss the short sigh that he lets out as he drops his hand from your shoulder and walks to join the rest of the group moving indoors.

You repositioned a few of the cones to set up your own drill and got right into it.

Across the field, on another training pitch near yours, Mason watched as you carried the ball with you up and down the field, weaving between cones, practicing a few skills that he had seen you implement in games, and taking a shot on the goal at each pass.

He was supposed to be doing a bit of extra work with a few of the boys. The men’s team had finished their training session about an hour before, but a few of them still felt like they wanted to get a bit more done before calling it a day. So here they were, running a few small three-a-side games to utilize the last of their energy that day.

But he couldn’t help but notice how you never stopped.

During the team training, you were always one of the hardest-working ones out there. When he had returned to the pitch from lunch, you were taking shots on the goal with the rest of your team nowhere in sight. He wasn’t even sure he had seen you eating lunch inside when he thought about it.

And now here you were, sprinting across the length of the field, over and over, after the rest of your team had hit the showers.

He felt a twinge of worry for you but brushed it off as one of his teammates called his name to pull his attention back to the game they were playing.

Your head was spinning as you pushed yourself to keep moving. Your entire body was drenched in sweat. Every muscle ached from overexertion as you gritted your teeth, forcing them to keep moving. The sun was dizzyingly bright as the evening set in. You could feel the heat practically radiating off of your skin. Your lungs were burning with your heaving breaths and your mouth quickly grew dry.

“That’s what we have Miss Y/N for, right?” Your coach’s words echoed through your head as you carried the ball down the field.

“Y/L/N carries the Man U Women through to the semifinal!” You recalled the title of the article as you weaved between the cones.

“I really believe Y/N Y/L/N could be the one to lead Manchester United to their first Women’s Champion’s League trophy!” You heard the words of the pundit clear as day as you planted your foot, striking the ball cleanly. It soared through the air, curving toward the goal, and struck the crossbar. The ball flew away from the goal, bouncing pathetically on the ground in the penalty area.

You took a pause, the words and expectations crashing around your mind leaving an unsettling feeling in your chest. As you stood there, you couldn’t seem to get your panting breaths to grow steadier.

Your shirt suddenly felt too tight on your neck. You grasped the fabric, pulling it away from your body in an attempt to allow yourself to breathe easier, but nothing seemed to be helping.

Your head was spinning. You felt your stomach sink, a feeling like when you plummeted down the tall hill of a rollercoaster, a sick feeling settling in your abdomen. Your skin began to crawl, and you just couldn’t stop hyperventilating.

You began to panic. Eyes searching frantically for relief. You weren’t sure what you were looking for—something, anything.

You suddenly felt like you were too out in the open, needing to seclude yourself away from the sight of prying eyes. You set into a sprint, off of the field and around the corner of the nearest part of the building to you, trying to find some shade from the hot sun and hide yourself from anyone who might see your pathetic state.

But it was too late. Mason had seen the whole thing.

They had just paused their game for a short water break. He had seen you take the shot, instead hitting the crossbar. It only took him a few seconds once you paused to realize that something wasn’t right.

He watched the way your chest rose and fell rapidly in quick, short breaths. When you began attempting to pull your shirt away from your body, he instantly knew what was taking place. He’d recognize that feeling anywhere.

You were having a panic attack, whether you realized it or not.

As soon as he saw you take off for the side of the building, he was running after you without so much as a word of explanation to his teammates.

Once in the shade of the wall you hid behind, you began pacing, unable to keep still. Every inch of your body felt jittery, and you felt unsteady on your legs. You couldn’t manage more than rapid, shallow breaths. Your throat felt tight, your breaths sounding more like wheezes, and it was starting to make your head spin. Your hands flew to your head, scratching at your scalp in an attempt to somehow rid yourself of the feeling.

You were startled by Mason swiftly rounding the corner, concern written all over his face as he stopped in front of you.

“Hey, hey, hey, you’re okay,” he spoke calmly and evenly. He quickly reached up, taking your wrists in his hands so he could gently but firmly pull your hands out of your hair to keep you from hurting yourself.

“I can’t, Mason. I can’t,” you panted, shaking your head ‘no’ frantically and still trying to weakly pull your hand from his grip.

“You’re okay, Y/N. Try to slow down your breathing,” Mason’s calm voice directly contrasted your frantic behavior, speaking in short sentences so as to not overwhelm you more. “You’re safe. I’ve got you.”

A short sob fell from your lips, and you felt the tears spilling over and down your cheeks.

“We’re gonna lose,” you sobbed, and his eyebrows furrowed slightly in confusion. “The semifinal, we’re gonna lose it, and it’s gonna be all my fault.”

In that moment, everything clicked into place for Mason-- the UWCL run, your success in the games leading up to the semi-final leg, the pressure from the fans and the team, the countless extra hours you had been putting in.

A loud noise in the distance, coming from the direction of the parking lot, startled you, snatching your attention and you whipped your head to the side, eyes searching frantically for the source. He released your wrists from his hand, testing the waters as he turned your head back to look at him with a hand on your cheek.

He cradled your face with a hand on either side, keeping your focus on him. His thumbs wiped the tears away that had slipped down your cheeks.

“Hey, look at me. You’re gonna be okay. I’ve got you,” he repeated the affirmations he had already been telling you.

As he stroked his thumbs softly over the skin of your cheek, he felt that your breathing was already growing a bit slower. You had reached up, holding onto his wrists with both of your hands to steady yourself, feeling too unsteady on your feet. His hands were gentle and soft on your skin.

Mason watched your expression, taking long deep breaths for you to emulate. Your eyes were still wide, darting frantically around his face, but you were trying your best to follow his breathing. He continued whispering short reassurances.

“You’re safe.”

“It’s gonna be okay.”

“I’ve got you.”

You were beginning to calm down, but your eyes darted to something behind Mason, pulled away from the calm atmosphere he had tried to create for you.

“Hey, hey, stay with me,” he spoke gently, pressing his forehead to yours so you would only focus on him. You were shocked at how little the intrusion on your personal space bothered you. In fact, to your surprise, the closeness seemed to settle you a little more.

You continued focusing on your breathing, gripping tightly to his wrists as if you thought he’d disappear if you let go. Your eyes were clamped closed, listening to Mason’s soft and slow breathing. You felt your pounding heart being to slow its pace.

The panic you had been feeling subsided, leaving behind a wave of extreme fatigue. You felt completely and utterly drained.

Mason must have noticed the way that your body slumped over, and he guided you to sit down on the grass, leaning back against the brick wall of the building. He sat down next to you, leaving space so he didn’t make you more nervous. But in the haze you felt in your mind, you felt a need to still be close to him, leaning over so you could place your head on his shoulder. A short pang of guilt washed over you as you noticed the crescent-shaped indents you had left on his wrists, your nails digging into the skin as you had held onto him.

The two of you sat in silence for a few minutes, your eyes slipping closed as you continued focusing on breathing slowly. A gentle breeze blew through, cooling your clammy skin and brushing through the blades of grass.

“I used to get them sometimes, too, you know?” Mason broke the silence, speaking softly.

You responded with a quiet, “hmm?” unsure of what he meant.

“Panic attacks,” he explained. “At the end of last season, before I left Chelsea. There was a lot of pressure. Any time I played, everyone had something to say about it. Even when I didn’t play, some would find a reason to be upset. It all just got to be too much.”

A deep sadness filled you while you listened to his words. “How did you get through it?”

“Ben found me having one in my car after training one day.” He was quiet for a moment. “I tried to power through it—like you. Skipping lunch and staying late to train a bit extra on the field or put in an extra session in the gym. But once Ben realized what was going on, he made sure that I was taking care of myself properly and wasn’t dealing with it on my own anymore.”

You sat up so you could look at Mason’s face, and you saw a hint of sadness there. “So I’ll tell you what he told me. There are 10 other people with you on that field at all times. If you fall down, there are 10 pairs of hands ready to help you back to your feet. If you succeed, there are 10 others to celebrate with you. But it’s not all on you.”

Your eyes were misty, welling up with tears at his words. He slipped his arm around your shoulders, pulling you into a secure hug as the tears began to stream down your cheeks.

“No matter the outcome of the game next week, you’re an incredible player, Y/N.” He placed a soft kiss to the top of your head. “You’ve already done so much so early in your career. The media and the fans will say what they want—don’t let them get to you. And your coaches may get carried away with their expectations for you, but it’s just because they’re so excited to see you succeed. Just be the player you know how to be, and your achievements will speak for themselves.”

“Thank you, Mason,” you whispered after pondering his words for a moment. No words could express the gratitude you felt for the relief he had brought you just by letting you know that he was there and he understood. But as he squeezed your shoulders lightly in response, you hoped he knew just how thankful you were.

Eventually, Mason helped you to your feet, guiding you back toward the fields. You were still feeling a bit weak and unsteady, so he made sure you remained upright with a gentle hold on your arm as you walked. Deciding it was time for you to call it a day, he insisted on collecting the cones that you had been training with, not allowing you to help him by picking up even one of them.

It took some convincing but you told him you would be fine to drive yourself home—his only condition was that you texted to let him know you made it there safely.

“Alright, then. Rest on your day off tomorrow. Give yourself a break, okay?” he spoke as he put the last of the cones away. “I’ll check in with you on Monday, if that’s okay.” He didn’t want to overstep any boundaries. The two of you had been friendly before today, but you wouldn’t have considered yourselves close friends. He just wanted to be sure that you knew you had people in your corner.

“Yeah, I’d like that a lot,” you nodded, smiling at him. With a final hug, he sent you on your way as he turned to rejoin his (undoubtedly confused) teammates where he had left them.

“Remember: rest!” he shouted back at you as you parted ways, and you couldn’t stop the blushing smile that worked its way onto your face.

tag list: @landoslover @chelseagirl98 @thoseboysinblue @lovelynikol16 @swimmingismywholelife @masonsrem @bracedes @neverinadream @lizzypotter14 @notsoattractivearenti

[sirenascales]

I want your love, I dont wanna be friends[18+]

You're the new assistant at Hawks Pro Hero Agency. So cute and shy. 🤭❤️ But you have got to stop doing this silly little dance with your boss and just make out already.

Hawks x PlusSize!F!Reader

9,566 words

cw: SMUT, nsfw, unprotected sex, a girl kisses you in this, brief mention of a domestic violence situation, hawks is too hot,

note: my first mha fic... dont even looooook at me bro jk pls enjoy

The first time you actually got to meet the Wing Hero, a villain had attacked a bank just as you were doing your usual weekend errands. The villain had some kind of explosion quirk, and you ended up getting caught in the blast, despite being a fair distance away. Everything was going by so fast, people yelling in the distance in panic and fear, loud sirens going off.

Your ears were ringing, body hurting as you slowly tried to at least sit up. Your skin stung with cuts, as you were hit with glass, though thankfully, none of the injuries seemed to be too serious. If anything, it was the blast and fall that hurt you the most.

Chaos was all around you, some pro heroes swooping in to apprehend the culprit. It seemed to be an easy catch, but you mainly tried to focus on getting up on your own two feet.

"Alright fella, it's no use fighting now. Here, take him in. I'm gonna look around to see if we still have any victims."

"You got it, boss!"

The voices seemed so far away, your head pounding as you managed to get to your feet, not even taking two steps until you were hit with an insane amount of nausea, your brain whirling as your vision blurred. You fell forward, expecting to hit the ground face first when you felt someone grab you.

"Whoa! Okay, I got you!" The male voice seemed so far away and you slowly turned your head to look at the owner. All you saw was blond hair, and magnificent red wings.

"Oh... you're Hawks," you slurred.

"Yeah, and you are concussed," he said rather seriously, gently guiding you towards a nearby ambulance. "You need to go to the hospital now."

"Hm... where are we? I feel sick..."

"Okay, here we go," Hawks said, a worried frown on his face as he handed you off to the paramedics. "She has a severe concussion and is bleeding from her head."

"Oh... am I...?"

It was all a blur after that, and you barely remembered the trip to the hospital. All you knew was that you had actually suffered a concussion and a few broken ribs, and that the adrenaline made you not feel the pain at all. They kept you for a few days until you were cleared to go home and recover.

Though, this couldn't have happened at a worse time. You were supposed to be starting your new job soon, but with you being broken, you had to fearfully send an email explaining the situation. They were, thankfully, very understanding. But of course they were, you were supposed to start work as an assistant at a pro hero agency.

Blinking, you sat back in your seat as realization had finally hit you, staring wide eyed at the signature of the person who replied to your email.

'Dear 'Reader',

I'm so sorry that you were caught up and injured in these recent events. We understand your predicament and will hold your place until you are ready to start and join our team.

Please feel better,

Keiko Watanabe, secretary of Hawks Pro Hero Agency'

Your mouth fell open. How could I you forget?! "Oh shit..."

♡♡♡

Three months had gone by, and you were adjusting well into your new job at the pro hero agency. You worked side by side with a beautiful girl named Keiko, running the clerical side of the agency and helping Hawks when he needed it.

Yeah, you worked at Hawk's agency, and sometimes directly with the man himself. Mostly in the form of going over messages, interview requests and other things with him while he was not on patrol. He was rather surprised to see you a few months back when you first started working there, but he welcomed you with open arms, as well as his sidekicks and the other office workers.

You and Keiko had become fast fast friends and were like peas in a pod, honestly. She was utterly gorgeous, with long, straight black hair and blunt bangs cut across her forehead. She was flirty and fun, but super hardworking and a great friend.

"You look hot today, girlfriend," you said as you sat at your desk this morning, eyeing the dress she wore. It was still tasteful for the office, but Keiko had legs for days. "Yummy."

"Oh shut up," Keiko waved you off with a laugh, giving you a look. "You don't look so bad yourself. Finally trying to take Hawks home with you?"

"Keiko!" you gasped, blushing and quickly looking around, hoping no one heard. "Shut up! That is not what I'm doing!"

"Uh huh," Keiko said, rolling her eyes. "Anyway, I didn't check the messages yet, can you do that while I go over this last incident report?"

You nodded, picking up the office phone and getting yourself ready to write down the messages that were left overnight. "Damn, six of them..."

They were just the usual stuff, plus one that had piqued your interest as you wrote it down. After you finished, you got up from your desk, ignoring Keiko wiggling her eyebrows at you as you made your way over to Hawks' office. He wasn't on patrol, and won't be for another hour.

"Sir," you started, knocking on his closed door. "I have something that could be important." You looked down at yourself, smoothing out your clothes. Of course Keiko was right; you wanted to look your best around Hawks. You wore a pretty skirt that fell just to your knee, and a top that you knew made your boobs look good with the perfect bra...

"Come in," Hawks called from behind his door and you nodded, taking a deep breath before you walked inside, taking in the man sitting behind his desk.

Of course you wanted to get his attention... look at him. He was beautiful, in a rugged way, with his messy blond locks and sexy facial hair. His goggles were on the desk, and his gold eyes were on you as you walked over to his desk. You swore they moved down your body for a quick second before he looked you in your face again. His large, red wings instantly drew your attention, them rustling slightly when the man tilted his head up a bit.

"What's up?" he drawled, his voice sending a shiver up your spine.

"Well," you started, fighting back a blush. "I was going through the messages and I got something interesting I think you might like." You smiled, sliding the note you wrote to him. "You will receive an official invite in a few weeks, but the Green Cross Foundation is hosting a charity ball in three months, and all proceeds will go to the children's hospital. You've been formally invited."

"...huh," was Hawks' only reply and your smile fell.

"... is this... bad?" you asked him unsurly and he quickly shook his head.

"No, no, it's not," he said, putting the note down and looking back at you, an easy smile growing on his face. "Thanks, this is definitely something I'm interested in."

You smiled back at him, feeling your face heat up. "No problem, sir! I'll just get back to my desk now." You turned and left the office, goosebumps forming on your skin as you felt a hard stare follow you out the door.

The rest of the day went by smoothly, with Hawks having gone out on his patrol hours ago. It was now time for the office to close and you and Keiko were just getting ready to leave when you realized something.

"Oh shoot, I felt my folder in Hawks' office," you said with a sigh. You shooed Keiko off to go ahead without you, making the quick trip to Hawks' empty office. You found your folder, taking a quick peek inside when you heard the office door creak open behind you. You let out a startled shriek, whipping around and finding Hawks' standing behind you looking surprised.

"Hawks!" You gasped. "You scared me!"

It took Hawks a moment, but when he found himself, he had the nerve to snicker behind his hand. "You're the one snooping around in my office, no wonder you're so jumpy."

Your jaw dropped and you scoffed. "I was not snooping. I left my folder!"

"Uh huh," Hawks just waved you off, grinning and you knew that he was just teasing. You huffed at him and he laughed again.

"Fine, fine, I'm sorry~" he drawled, and you realized he was holding a small box. "Here, I'll share my cupcake with you as a peace offering."

You blinked. "Cupcake...?"

"Yeah," Hawks answered, opening the box and revealing the most delicious looking chocolate cupcake in the world you've ever seen. "There's this awesome bakery along my beat, so I stop by from time to time. You don't mind if I use my hands?"

"No," you answered, shaking your head. "And I'm kinda upset that you never got us anything from this so-called amazing bakery. Not even a damn cookie?" You were both pretty much off the clock now, so you naturally went to talk with the man more casually. He didn't mind.

"Sorry, but I'm gatekeeping," Hawks answered with a smirk as he carefully used his fingers to break the cupcake in half. He got frosting on his thumb, and after he handed you your half, he sucked that thumb right into his mouth.

You gulped.

"Though, I will have to say, if you tell anyone about the bakery or this cupcake, I will have to fire you." Hawks grinned at you again, clearly joking and you shook your head at him, rolling your eyes.

"Yeah yeah, your secret is safe with me, bossman," you said, bringing the cupcake to your mouth before adding. "And Keiko."

Hawks snorted and you bit into the cupcake, immediately moaning at the chocolatey goodness that exploded in your mouth.

"Oh my goodness!" you exclaimed after swallowing, glancing over at a very satisfied looking Hawks. "This is amazing!"

"I told you!" He replied, watching you eat the rest of the cupcake before he ate his half. You had let out another very satisfied sound and Hawks had to take a deep breath.

"I'm going to find this place," you said and Hawks let out a short laugh.

"Not if I can help it," he shot back, glancing at you, his eyes doing a slow once over when you weren't looking.

"Well, I'm out of here," you said, turning back to him with a smile. "See you tomorrow! Thanks for the cupcake."

Hawks nodded. "Yeah, see you tomorrow, but wait up..."

"Huh?" you blinked when Hawks stepped to you, holding still when he lifted his hand up. With the same thumb he had licked the frosting off earlier he pressed it to the corner of your mouth.

"You have frosting here..." he then said softly, and your lips fell open as he used his thumb to wipe off the frosting. A shiver went down your spine, his thumb just grazing your bottom lip before he stepped back. You watched him hesitate, before he grabbed a napkin and wiped his thumb clean.

"Th-thank you..." you stuttered softly, very much aware of the heated tension in the office. Your lip tingled where he touched you, your heart pounding in your chest. Hawks looked at you, his gold eyes nearly pinning you in place as he stared right into mines.

"Have a good night..." he finished with your name.

You gulped and nodded. "Y-yeah..." And you turned and rushed out.

♡♡♡

"And you just turned and ran out of the room?" Keiko asked you the next morning after you two met in front of the agency doors. You told her about what had happened between you and Hawks the night before, and she was looking at you with her eyes narrowed. "Seriously?"

"What was I supposed to do?!" you whisper-hissed as you stepped inside the building.

"I dunno! Jump his bones?!"

"Shhhh!" you hissed at her, looking around the office before rushing to your desk. "There's no way. Besides, he's not into me."

"I could smack you right now," Keiko said, setting her stuff down. "From what you told me he did last night, he totally does have a thing for you."

You shook your head quickly, trying to ignore how hard your heart was pounding in your chest at the mere thought of Hawks possibly liking you. There was no way. "Nah, absolutely not."

"And why not?" Keiko demanded. "You're hot! Those thick thighs will make any sane man want you." You blushed deeply, looking down at yourself. It was a particularly hot day, so you decided to wear a cute sundress to work. You figured it was work appropriate, but when you are thick, a lot of leg tends to show.

"Sh-shut up," you mumbled, turning away from Keiko to face your work. Yesterday was just all in your head.

Keiko just narrowed her eyes at you, a deep pout on her face as she scoffed. She was going to prove it, one way or another. But the day went on smoothly, with Hawks starting out on patrol before he returned a few hours later, ready to do the more clerical work of his job. He was his usual friendly self with anyone...but you could tell that he purposefully wasn't looking at you. At all.

That had noticeably made you feel down for a while, and all Keiko could do was roll her eyes at the two of you. "I have to do everything around here..."

"Huh? What was that?"

"Nothing, babe."

"Hmm," you hummed, glancing over when Hawks walked by. He was out of his usual uniform, having showered after he returned. You really liked how he looked while dressed up as the hero he was, but his more casual looks were absolutely drool worthy. How he tried to kill you today? A simple get up of a pair of denim jeans, which fit him perfectly, by the way, and a white tshirt. He had on a simple gold chain and cool looking sneakers, and you had to fight not to ogle at him.

"He's so hot..." you mumbled and Keiko snorted.

"Don't I know it, honey..."

Work went on, and Keiko had to make some copies so you walked with her to the copy room as you chatted.

"I just... maybe he feels embarrassed? About what happened yesterday?" you said unsurely, and Keiko slammed her finger on the copy button.

"You are killing me. First you said it was all an imagination, and now you think he's embarrassed?" Keiko questioned you, totally exasperated.

"He won't look at me!"

"Because he likes you, fool! You don't see the way he looks at you when you're not looking."

"What? No he doesn't..."

"Ughh!" Keiko threw her head back and groaned, catching a glance of something in the corner of her eye and she smirked to herself. Bingo. "Do I have to prove it to you?"

You wrinkled your nose at her. "And how will you do that?" you asked, just before you were pressed against the closest wall. Keiko cupped your face, pressing her lips against yours in a kiss. Your eyes went wide, your heart skipping a bit as you stood there stunned, face heating up.

Keiko was a beautiful woman... you wouldn't mind being with someone like her but...

Your eyes closed halfway, your hand gently pressing against her hip, when someone walked into the copy room.

Hawks.

"Whoops! You caught us!" Keiko exclaimed as she quickly pulled away, covering her mouth with her hand as she giggled. You were still frozen as Keiko twirled her hair, while Hawks stood staring at you two with an unreadable expression on his face.

"I'm sorry, sir~" Keiko continued to speak, the pro hero turning almost robotically to face her.

"Keiko, please go and get in touch with News Seven, I'll have to postpone our interview." His voice was icy, not harboring any of the warmth it always had. You didn't like it at all, while Keiko just smiled to herself, a smug look on her face.

"Yes sir!"

Keiko left, leaving you with Hawks. You fidgeted a bit, feeling awkward as you tried to leave. "I-I was just... keeping her company."

"And that's the problem," Hawks retorted and ice ran in your veins. "You're here to work, not socialize."

"R-right..." you whispered, feeling like there was a pressure in your chest that made it hard to breathe. "I'm sorry."

And you scurried off back to your desk, ignoring Keiko completely as you sat down. "I hate you."

"He was totally jealous~," Keiko sang to you and you glared at her.

"He was mad."

"No, babe," Keiko started, just as Hawks stormed by, his fists tightly clenched at his sides. "He's jealous. He wants to be the one pressing you against the wall, kissing you breathless."

"I..." You stammered a bit, not knowing what to say. "I don't like when his voice gets cold like that..."

Keiko wiggled her eyebrows at you. "Maybe you should go warm him up, hehe~"

♡♡♡

You were going to puke. It was the end of shift, and on the days when Hawks ended his shift in the office, you two went over the messages that were left throughout the day. So here you were, clutching onto the slips of papers so hard, they were wrinkling up. But you took a deep breath after a while, knowing that you had to put on your big girl panties and do your job.

You knocked on Hawks' closed office door. "H-hey. It's time to go over the messages..."

"Yeah. Come in."

Hawks sat behind his desk, his gold eyes slowly going over your form until they landed on your face. His lips pulled down in a slight frown, noticing how you stared at the floor, nervously chewing on your bottom lip as you sat across from him.

"There's not much today, sir, so it'll be quick." You set the messages down on the desk, smoothing them out. Hawks raised an eyebrow.

"What the hell did those poor papers do to you?"

You let out a laugh. "Sorry. I was just nervous..."

Nervous? Hawks drew in his eyebrows, looking over you once again. Yeah... you were tense in the chair, fiddling with the papers while looking at anything other than him. Then he thought of what happened earlier at the copy room and he sighed.

He truly had no idea what had come over him. He had walked inside to see you pressed against the wall, Keiko's lips on yours. His vision had turned green then, jealousy burning in his chest as he registered what he saw. That was supposed to be him pressing you against the wall. The jealousy was bitter on his tongue as he spoke to you, voice ice cold.

He hated feeling that way, and he hated how his reaction then made you feel nervous just to be around him. He frowned and sighed again, his wings very slowly flapping up and down.

"Look, don't be nervous, okay?" he said, tapping his desk. "It's fine, water under the bridge. I want you to be comfortable here." With me.

You looked at him, finally, feeling your heart hammer as you took in his expression. He seemed serious, and he held your gaze firmly until you nodded slowly. "Okay... yeah."

He smiled. "Good. Now let's get to these messages." He grabbed the papers and looked them over at first, pausing a bit as he looked at you. "So Keiko... are you two...?"

"What?" You blinked a few times before you finally realized what he meant. "Oh, no! She's just my friend! She was just being a little turd."

Hawks barked out a laugh at that, setting the papers down. "I am glad to see her mischievous nature come back to her after being put through the ringer like she was."

Your eyebrows shot up and you tilted your head questionably. "Do you know about Taichi?"

Hawks nodded. "She told you about him too, huh?"

"Well, I just know that he was abusive..."

"Yeah, he was a real piece of work. She was working with me when she met him, and I thought everything was fine... then Keiko started to get more... reserved and detached. She was jumpy and just... wasn't herself." Hawks sighed deeply, rubbing his eyebrows and you squeezed your hands. "She called me one night. Taichi was losing his absolute mind and he would have killed her if I hadn't swooped in when I did."

Your mouth fell open as you stared at Hawks in awe. "You saved her..."

"Bah," Hawks waved you off. "That's my job. I protect the people who need it."

"Still," you said softly, smiling as you reached over and gently grabbed his hand. "If it weren't for you, I wouldn't have my best friend. Thank you, Hawks, for protecting her."

You squeezed his hand, and he now stared at you in awe, and you swore, his cheeks had turned a slight dusting of pink. He cleared his throat, awkwardly grabbing the papers. "Anyways... let's do this..."

You giggled softly and nodded your head. It took no time at all to go over the messages, taking care of the responses and what not. Thirty minutes later, you were finishing up, ready to leave.

"So, if you and Keiko aren't together... Why the hell were you two making out in the copy room?" Hawks had to ask and your face went hot. How the hell would you explain this to him?!

"Well you see... we weren't making out..." you started, nervously twirling your thumbs. "She kissed me...."

Hawks raised an eyebrow. "O...kay?"

"She wanted to see if you would get jealous..." You had turned your back to him as you told him, knowing you wouldn't be able to face him. "But seeing as you didn't, and it's all water under the bridge, it's all good. Goodnight, Hawks!" You tried to leave quickly, grabbing the door handle. "I have tomorrow off, so I'll---" You tried to open the door, only to have a hand reach from behind you and slam it shut.

You gasped sharply, turning around to face Hawks. You stared straight at him, his sharp golden eyes freezing you on the spot. You gulped. "H-Hawks...?"

"Make me jealous?" he questioned and you gulped again, nodding.

"Y-yeah! Crazy, right?" you asked, forcing a laugh as you blindly reached for the door behind you again. You didn't realize that Hawks was slowly backing you up until your back hit the door and you gulped for a third time.

"And if I was jealous?" Hawks then asked and your breath hitched in your throat. "Then what?"

"I- I... what?" You replied dumbly, unable to move your eyes away from his. His stare was piercing, as if he could see into your soul, and you were honestly ready to bare it all. "No way. I'm just a stupid girl with a cloning quirk and you're... Hawks."

"Keigo," he said immediately and you looked at him confused. "When you're with me, you call me Keigo." He leaned in and you held your breath as he started to whisper in your ear, his voice having gone deep, and it sent shivers down your spine. "Do you think it's funny to make a man jealous like that?" He asked, ending with your name.

"N-no, of course not," you gasped out a reply. "I had no idea... that you would even feel that way..."

"Like I wanted to tear this whole fucking building down."

You gasped again, your breathing coming out in short pants as your heart raced, your skin tingling as his breath warmed against your ear as he spoke. He pulled back, taking in your flustered state, and his eyes darkened.

You had to say something. "P-Please don't tear the building down..."

Hawks smirked and scoffed lightly. "Duh. I haven't fucked you over my desk yet."

Then he stepped back away from you completely, turning away as he stuffed his hands in his pockets. Your legs felt weak.

"G'night. Enjoy your day off."

♡♡♡

A week has passed, and everything was normal. Work was normal, even the villains causing havoc were normal. It was like nothing had happened, and it was driving you absolutely crazy. You twirled your pen in your hand, aware of Keiko giggling in her desk beside you, because she was so entertained by your misery and suffering.

"I'm going to explode," you muttered and Keiko laughed. "How can he be so... so himself?! Like nothing happened?!"

"You are so cute," Keiko hummed, spinning in her chair. "You already know how the boss is. He doesn't let things get to him so easily."

"Yeah, except me getting kissed by anyone other than him, apparently," you said, rolling your eyes.

"Well, he is a man, right?"

"It's just not fair!" You whined. "He can say that, so casually and just go on like nothing, but a week later it still gets me weak in the knees, especially when I have to go into his office. Like.... ugh!" You let out a loud groan before allowing your head to hit the desk with a thump. You were losing your mind.

"Hmm, his desk looks sturdy too," Keiko commented and you could have cried.

"You're not helping!"

"Oh my God," Keiko laughed again at your misery. "You know what else it is? You totally need to get laid, sweetie. You're so strung out." You just groaned again. "It should be easy! You have someone that totally wants you!"

You blushed deeply at that, quickly shaking your head. "No way!" You exclaimed before leaning closer to whisper. You were at work, after all. "He's my boss."

"Which makes this even hotter," Keiko whispered back. "You want him just as bad. Just go for it."

"I... I can't!" You whispered again, shaking your head. "I'm too shy, I..."

"Ahh, so you want him to make the first move? To ravish you, huh?"

Your face burned even hotter at the word 'ravish', seeing as she was 100% right about that. Picturing Hawks coming in and just taking what he wanted from you... made your brain go haywire.

"I'm going to die."

"Not before you check the mail," Keiko said, just as the usual mail delivery man came waltzing into the lobby. You exchanged polite greetings as he handed you a thick pile of envelopes.

You sighed as you looked through them. Most of the mail was junk, until you came upon a rather fancy looking envelope. You stopped, looking at the return address before you stood up from the desk and went over to Hawks' office. You lifted your hand up to knock, stopping yourself with a curse as you suddenly remembered he was being interviewed. You put your hand down, just as the door opened.

"Oh," the man at the door said to you in surprise. He was the interview's assistant. "We just finished. Come inside."

Awkwardly, you stepped inside, finding Hawks talking with a rather pretty looking reporter. He was in his casual wear again, smiling pleasantly at the interviewer. She had hearts in her eyes.

"Thank you so much for taking time to do the interview, Keigo," she said, and Hawks face twitched ever so slightly at her using his name. "We have to do this again sometime? Maybe over drinks?" She put a hand on his arm casually and you blinked as he just looked at her, still smiling.

Your chest felt tight and suddenly, everything was green. Huh.

"Maybe we should," Hawks said easily, gesturing towards his door. "I don't mean to be rude, but my assistant and I have something to work on now."

"Oh, of course!" she said, batting her eyelashes. "Goodbye, Keigo!"

This time you twitched, watching as the reporter and her assistant walked out the office. You blinked a few times, forcing a smile as you faced Hawks, who just let out a very dramatic sigh as he plopped down on his seat.

"Thank fucking God."

"Was it that bad?" You asked as you sat down, surprisingly having not crumbled up the envelope.

"She's a good journalist and interviewer," Hawks answered, rubbing his eyebrows. "But she pushes the boundaries and it bugs me."

"Oh... like when she said your name?" You asked, your tone of voice taking on a slight edge. "She seems to really like you..."

You fiddled with the envelope, looking away from Hawks. He raises his eyebrow at you, any negative feelings he had towards the reporter now gone as he grew amused by you, and the clearly unhappy look on your face.

"Oh... now this is funny," he hummed and you looked at him confused.

"Huh? What is?"

"You're the one that's jealous this time," he said, now grinning as you blushed deeply, your mouth falling open in shock.

"N-no! I'm not!" you instantly denied, though deep down, you knew the truth that you were. Quickly, you slammed the envelope on the desk. "Th-that's from the Green Cross! That's your invitation to the charity ball."

And with that, you shot up to your feet and made a beeline towards the door. Though before you could read it, you were stopped in you tracks by one of Hawks' red feathers blocking your way. You watched it carefully, your breath shuddering softly as it floated to you and gently touched your face. It tickled.

"Now, now, sit back down. It's not fair that I had to bare all my feelings out that day, but you try to hide your own," Hawks said, his tone having a bit of a demand to it. His feather moved down to your chest, and with the strength of a full grown person, it pushed you back towards the chair you were just sitting on. You sat down immediately.

You huffed, the feather now soft again on your skin, it tickling the side of your neck. You twitched, frowning a bit before you huffed again. "Fine, I was jealous," you admitted, turning your head away.

"See? Was that so hard?" he asked, and he was clearly teasing you. You glared at him, making him laugh as he leaned back in his chair. He didn't even touch the envelope yet.

"Are you not going to open that?"

"I will eventually," he answered, tilting his head with a grin. "But let's talk about you being jealous."

Your face heated up considerably and you stuttered. "And so what if I was? I'm only human, so what if I don't like another woman touching the man I like?"

"Oh?" Hawks eyebrows rose and you cursed when you realized what you said. "I'm glad the feeling is mutual."

Your eyebrows rose this time, heart pounding in your chest. "W-well..." you coughed. "Hawks, I-"

"I told you to call me by my name."

"Keigo... I just... I dunno... you spent the whole week acting like nothing happened so... I dunno, I figured it was done with..."

Hawks sighed softly, standing up from his seat so he could circle his desk, sitting back against his desk beside you. He put his hands in his pockets. "Well, it was the best way for me to control myself, if I'm being honest," he started, looking down at you. You could feel his feather moving down to your chest. "Because if not, well... I may have made what I said a week ago into a reality."

Heat rushed through your body, a deep chill going down your spine and right between your legs. You let out a soft gasp, staring at his desk and thinking of all the possibilities. Your mouth opened and closed slowly, before you responded.

"It's not like I'll stop you..."

Hawks brought a hand up to his face, rubbing along his facial hair before he looked down at you again, his gold eyes piercing you deeper than you've ever thought before. You lost your breath.

"Stay after your shift today."

♡♡♡

You were going to puke. You paced back and forth in front of Hawks' office door, officially clocked out for the day and officially freaking the fuck out. He told you to stay after the shift was done... That could only mean one thing, right? With the tension and heat between you...

You knocked on the door, stepping inside when he answered shortly after. You smiled at him as you took him in, and he returned the smile and just about made your heart explode.

"Hey, what kind of food do you like?" he asked, scrolling through his phone. You furrowed your eyebrows in confusion.

"Uh... Italian?" You answered unsurely. Hawks clicked around on his phone before putting it away.

"Perfect. Let's go," he said, standing up and quickly checking his jean pockets. He picked up a set of keys before walking towards the door.

"Uh, where are we going?" You asked, following him. He looked back at you and winked.

"Dinner, duh."

Your heart swelled in your chest. "Oh... cool."

You left the agency building, heading towards the parking garage next door, where you approached a rather nice looking black car. He unlocked the door, opening the passenger side door before gesturing to you to sit inside.

"Ma'am."

You laughed and playfully pushed him before climbing inside, Hawks sending you a winning smile before he climbed in the driver's seat, not wasting time before he pulled off out of the parking garage and into the streets.

"This restaurant makes really great food," he started after a moment, glancing over at you, raising his eyebrow at you when he caught you staring. "What?"

"I'm just trying to figure out how your wings fit in here," you answered, tilting your head. He laughed.

"I have my ways~"

"Uh huh," you said with a quirked eyebrow, looking out in front of you. Dinner with Hawks... that seemed quite nice, actually.

There was a comfortable silence as he drove, Hawks having turned up the radio. You bumped your head to the music, appreciating the chill vibe. It calmed you down.

Soon you arrived at the restaurant, Hawks quickly jogging around to open the door for you.

"Ma'am." He grinned at you and you snorted.

"Nerd."

The restaurant honestly looked... less impressive than you thought. Even the street we were on wasn't that busy, and looked a bit run down. You looked at Hawks questionably, and he just gestured towards the restaurant with his head, smiling big. "Don't judge a book by its cover."

"Okay, I'll follow you," you said, following Hawks inside. The inside didn't look any better, run down and dingy. Hawks nodded to a tired looking woman sitting at a rundown counter, not even waiting before walking to the back of the small establishment. He approached the large door, turning to put his hand on your back. He opened the door and gently pushed you through the door.

You were in awe of what you saw, your jaw falling open. The restaurant, in fact, wasn't just a small dingy place... it was attached to a rather extravagant restaurant, connected only with one door.

And the most amazing part, the patrons seemed to be only Pro Heroes.

"What is this...?" You asked in awe, Hawks talking with a hostess before she started to lead you through the tables.

"This is just a place for Pro Heroes to come and have some privacy," Hawks answered, looking back at you. "Who wouldn't like to eat a fancy Italian dinner without the paparazzi hovering over us?"

"Oh... that definitely makes sense," you said softly, looking around. The pro heroes were all dressed nicely, but seemed to be at ease as they ate and chatted with the people they've brought with them. "It looks nice."

"And the food is good too. Thank you." Hawks smiled at the hostess after she led you to a table far away from everyone. It was a small booth perfect for two people, and you sat across from each other.

"Well, I can't wait to try it," you said with an excited grin, picking up the menu. "Thank you, Hawks."

"I told you to call me by my name," Hawks said sharply and you blushed, biting your lip.

"Sorry, Keigo..."

Hawks sighed, taking a sip of water. "Don't worry. By the end of the night, my name will be the only thing you'll be able to say."

He even had the nerve to cast you a bright smile, all while your face heated up as you chugged down some water.

"I'll be looking forward to that..."

The rest of dinner went by smoothly, and you talked throughout the entire time. You told him more about yourself, how you ended up in Japan, and he talked more about his hero work. He didn't really talk a lot about himself, only surface level things... but you were sure you two could get to that stage... hopefully soon.

The food was delicious, and the dessert even better. You couldn't even keep in the satisfied moan that left your mouth as you took a bite of the richest chocolate cake you have ever tasted.

"This is so good. What is it with you and good cake?" You asked him playfully and he shrugged.

"I got good taste." He said, watching you happily eat the rest of your slice. A sense of calm washed over him, his eyes trained on your mouth as you licked off some chocolate icing off your lips. He took in a deep breath, calling over the waitress to ask for the check.

"Oh, I can pay for my meal," you suggested and Hawks just scoffed, pulling out his wallet.

"Don't even think about it." He handed the waitress a black card, ignoring the pout on your face.

A few minutes later, you were walking out of the restaurant and you stretched your arms above your head. "That was great, Keigo, thank you." You turned to him and smiled at him gratefully. "I really like it here."

A touch of pink dusted his cheeks and he coughed, his car beeping as he unlocked it. "Yeah, it's no problem. Get inside, we'll head back to my place now." He opened the passenger door and you froze, your mind whirling at 100mph. You weren't dumb, you knew exactly where this was going, especially with the many not so innocent comments he's made. Your skin started to tingle.

Hawks said your name and you looked at him, eyes wide. He stared back at you. "You good?"

"Y-Yeah," you managed to answer, climbing into the car. Hawks closed the door and went around to get into the driver's seat. A minute later, he drove off.

The tension was thick, your palms sweaty as you squeezed them in your lap. You glanced over at Hawks, and he looked very relaxed as he drove, his eyes trained on the road. He glanced at you, his lips curling up just a bit. "Nervous?" he asked.

"No!" You answered a bit too loudly and he chuckled softly, the sound going right to your pussy. You almost groaned.

"You're so damn cute," he hummed, just as he stopped at a red light. He turned his head to face you. "I can either take you back to your car, or go to my place," he said, his gold eyes keeping you rooted to the seat. "Make your pick. And know, once you do, that's it."

You gulped, staring at Hawks with your mouth fallen open. He was undeniably handsome, rugged and just fucking hot. God, you wanted him so badly, it almost hurt. You didn't know why you were hesitating so much, it was clear he wanted the same thing. What were you so scared of?

"I want to go home with you," you found yourself saying, and Hawks' mouth twitched just a bit. The light turned green and he started to drive again.

"Alright," he said cooly, staring ahead. Now the tension was really thick, Hawks' now laser focused. He had one hand on the steering wheel, the other falling to your bare, plush thigh. You had worn another dress to work today... and thank God you did because feeling his touch on your skin was phenomenal.

His hand felt rough, probably from all the work he's done over the years. It also felt strong... You pressed your lips together tightly, trying not to move too much in the seat as he drove.

Then he started to move his thumb back and forth and you could have died. You shivered, goosebumps forming on your skin. You stole a glance at him, and he was smirking to himself. You hated that he seemed so calm, while you were almost bursting at the seams.

You couldn't have gotten to his place fast enough. Hawks lived in a nice apartment building, with an attached parking garage. After parking, he led you to his apartment on the top floor, as cool as a cucumber as he led you from the elevator down the hall. It was maddening how he casually unlocked his door, gesturing for you to step in first before following behind you. You stood in the foyer, looking around as you slipped off your shoes. You heard the door close behind you, followed by the click of a lock.

The hairs stood up on the back of your neck, Hawks' presence behind you making your heart hammer. You could feel his breath on the back of your neck, feel his movement as he gently grabbed your arms, leaning in slightly to whisper in your ear. "Are you okay?"

You gulped and nodded. "Yeah, I'm okay," you answered softly, keeping still as he slowly rubbed your arms up and down.

"You don't have to be nervous," he then said, grabbing your hand. He led you through his apartment, taking you to his bedroom. "I'll take care of you."

You audibly groaned at that, squeezing his hand tightly. "It's not fair," you whined. "You seem so unbothered while I feel like I'm going to burst out of my skin."

Hawks laughed at that, turning around to face you before he grabbed your hips. "Like I told you earlier, I have to control myself around you."

"And what if I don't want you to do that?" You asked him, body tingling as he pulled you close to him. You grabbed the front of his shirt, looking right at him. "I want you to just... let it go. I can handle it. I've been holding onto this heat for so long, it's driving me crazy..."

Hawks' gold eyes were growing darker by the second as you spoke, their gazes settling on your lips. "Yeah? You can handle it?"

"Yeah," you answered breathlessly, your bodies getting closer than ever. Hawks moved his face towards yours, eyes going from your lips to your heated eyes. He hesitated just before your lips could touch, and you were close to throwing a tantrum.

Until he did kiss you, and the world around you seemed to freeze as fire erupted inside of you. Your knees had gone weak, but Hawks easily held you up against him as he kissed you. It was a bit slow at first, hesitant and experimental, as if you two were trying to get a feel for each other. You breathed heavily when you pulled away, panting as you stared at each other, eyes blown and faces flushed.

The tension finally was enough to snap the cord, and the next kiss you shared was hot, feverish and full of the unspoken lust and need that festered between you. Hawks cupped your face in his hands, holding you still as he ravaged your mouth, easily pushing his tongue into it. You groaned deeply, trying to keep up with him, your arms wrapping around his neck.

Pulling away, he started to kiss down your neck, biting and sucking on the skin here and there, making you gasp and moan softly as you began to yank in his shirt. "More... I need more," you gasped, and Hawks grabbed your face, pressing another kiss to your lips.

"Then I'll give you more," he rasped out against your face before he stepped back, carefully removing his shirt so as not to disturb his wings. He tossed his shirt to the floor before grabbing you to kiss you again, this time pushing you towards his large bed. You sat down on the edge of it, looking up at Hawks when he cupped your chin in his hand.

"You're so pretty," he whispered, unashamed as he so openly ogled at you, your chest heaving, your legs bare as your dress had pushed up a bit when you sat down. "I've wanted you for a long fucking time. Having you work for me has been a blessing and a curse. I get to see that pretty face, but couldn't fuck you in the supply room like I've fantasized about."

His thumb had moved to rub on your lip and you grabbed his wrist as you sucked that thumb into your mouth. You licked it softly with your tongue, registering the words he said. They just made you even more turned on. "Well... I think I'm better than a fuck in the supply room," you started, gently kissing the palm of his hand before smiling. "At least be a gentleman and fuck me in the backseat of your car."

Hawks groaned loudly, rubbing his face as you started to rub on his chest, loving his tan skin and muscles. "You are going to kill me," he groaned again. "Lay down in the middle of the bed."

Nodding, you did so, pushing yourself back until you were lying down. It took a second for Hawks to join you, pushing himself between your legs on his knees. You couldn't help but blush as he rubbed on your legs and thighs, your dress now pushed all the way up, he could see your panties. He licked his lips slowly, spreading your legs open until he was able to see just exactly how turned on you were.

"Nooo," you whined, covering your face in embarrassment. "Don't look at me like that..."

"Ahh, come on babe," Hawks said with a laugh, and then you felt something soft wrap around both your wrists. Your wrists were then pinned down on either side of your head. "Don't hide your face from me." Hawks' feathers were pinning your wrists down. You shuddered in delight as you tried to free your wrists, and failed.

"Hawks..." you whispered softly, and he just sighed deeply, rubbing his face with one hand before dragging it down to cover his mouth, so only his narrow eyes were shown.

"I said, to only call me by my fucking name when you're with me." Then he leaned over until his mouth was pressed against your ear. "We'll just have to do something about that, won't we? I did say my name will be the only thing you'll be able to say, didn't I?"

You gulped, heart pounding with anticipation. You slowly licked your lips, breathing a bit heavily as you watched him pull back up on his knees, unbutton his pants before he started on getting your dress off.

Your wrists were free so you helped him, tossing the dress to the floor just as he pressed his face right against your bare chest. "God, your tits are perfect," he mumbled, cupping your breasts in his large hands. He started to leave kisses on your chest while he massaged them, making you moan as he would tease your nipples with his fingers.

Then he would pinch one, making you squeal from the pain, only for him to suck a nipple into his mouth to soothe it. You were a mess, running your fingers through his already messy hair and moaning as he continued to massage and lick your breasts. Soon, he started to slowly kiss down, squeezing your soft stomach as he kissed it, grabbing onto your thighs as he reached your panties.

He hooked his thumbs into your panties, pulling them down, and before you could cover your face again, his voice rang out.

"Hey, what did I say?"

Your hands fell to your side, and the next two words out of his mouth had you ascending into space.

"Good girl."

You whimpered, biting your lip as he finished pulling off your panties, leaving you completely naked. "Keigo, please..." you said softly, clenching the bedsheets. "I need you..."

"I know, babe," he answered, his gold eyes savoring every inch of your exposed body that was laid out so perfect for him. He rubbed at the tent in his pants, groaning at just how uncomfortable he was starting to feel just by how turned on he was. "God, I wanna fuck you so bad."

"Then do it!" You finally snapped. "God, Keigo, all this week I've just been wanting you to fuck my brains out, fold me like a fucking lawn chair and break me into a billion pieces." You were panting now, staring at the man with dark, heated eyes, your lips trembling. "So please, I want your cock before I fucking die."

...

"You know," he started after a beat of silence, getting off of the bed completely and you closed your eyes, almost dreading what he was going to say. You heard rustling and then the pad of his footsteps. "I wanted to take things a bit slow, ya know? It's our first time together. I wanted to eat you out, maybe have you suck my dick, get the juices flowin'."

Then, you felt a strong grip on your ankle and you yelped when you were suddenly pulled down to the edge of the bed. You pushed yourself up on your elbows, and Hawks was standing there, absolutely naked. Only thing he had on was his watch and gold chain. He slowly stroked his cock, and you almost drooled at the sight of it.

"But fuck that. You wanna get fucked? Fine by me, you've no idea how many times I fantasized about you screaming my name as I fucked this tight pussy of yours." He pressed his fingers against your clit, rubbing it in tight circles and making you cry out from the immediate pleasure as you fell on your back.

"We can start the romantic shit later. Right now, I'm claiming this pussy." He leaned over you, still rubbing on your clit while he kissed you hotly. You clung onto him for dear life, just his fingers making your mind go hazy as he slowly slipped two of them inside you. It felt so good, but it wasn't enough. You needed more of him. But he just slowly started to finger you, stretching his fingers, and the part of your brain that wasn't already fucked out was grateful he still wanted to take the time to get you ready for him.

Though it honestly didn't last long, since you pulled away from the kiss, which made him growl at you.

"Stay fucking still."

"Please, just fuck me..." you moaned softly, prepared to beg at this point. "Keigo, please..."

He groaned himself, pulling his fingers out of you. His eyes nearly rolled to the back of his head as he used his tongue to clean you off his fingers. "I definitely have to eat you out next time, my God..." he mumbled to himself, fixing himself between your legs with your ass pretty much hanging off the edge of the bed. "You ready? I'm gonna go right in."

You frantically nodded your head. "Yes, please! Keigo I ne- Oh fuck!" In one quick thrust, Hawks pushed his cock deep inside of you, your gasps coming out simultaneously before you cursed. Tears stung at your eyes from the stretch, your breaths coming out in pants as you adjusted to how full you felt. You loved it.

"So... fucking tight..." Hawks gasped, bracing himself up with his hands on either side of you. He looked down at you, taking in your teary, blissed out face and he leaned down, kissing you deeply. "You feel so fucking good..."

"...please..." you pleaded weakly. "I need you..."

"Shit..." Hawks cursed, slowly pulling back, making you both groan, before he pushed himself back in. He fucked you slowly at first, wanting you to adjust, but as he continued, his thrusts came faster, and had become stronger, your moans getting louder.

Words couldn't explain how amazing you felt, the drag of his heavy cock inside of you sending you to heaven, his breath would fan across your face, his cool chain rubbing on your chest with every thrust he made. Your entire body burned with desire, your hands weakly holding onto Hawks' sides as he continued to fuck you.

"Shit... God, what the fuck..." Hawks cursed and moaned, sweat forming on his forehead. He was in rapture, your tight walls squeezing around him driving him crazy. His hands clenched onto the bed sheets tightly, though his arms almost gave out when your hands slowly moved to a very, very, sensitive place.

His wings.

All you did was caress where his wings came out from his back when he froze, still inside you as his eyes glossed over, his mouth falling open in a strangled gasp. Blinking, you slowly stroked that same spot again, and you felt him twitch inside you, another strangled gasp leaving his mouth. It was when you did it a third time that he snatched both your wrists up with one hand, pinning them above your head as he growled in your face.

"You're going to kill me," he said, using his feathers to keep your wrists pinned down. Now free to use his hands, he grabbed your legs, pushing them up over his shoulders, your feet in the air as he started fucking you again. Hard. "God, your pussy is perfect,"

"Keigo..." you moaned his name, the new position making him fuck you deeper, harder. You were completely at his mercy now, him now spurred by whatever happened when you touched his wings. He was more fierce now, all grunts and growls as he drove his cock into you repeatedly, making you call out his name like a mantra as tears formed in your eyes from the pleasure. "Keigo, please... please, I'm gonna cum..."

You were almost there, the heat in your belly getting stronger. The bed was creaking, skin slapping against skin. Hawks grabbed you roughly by your hair, kissing you sloppily as he fucked into you again and again and again.

"C'mon babe, cum for me," he whispered against your lips, keeping his forehead pressed to yours, maintaining eye contact. You couldn't look away even if you wanted to. "Cum, I wanna feel your pussy squeeze around my dick."

"Keigo..."

"Fucking cum, baby. Scream my name and cum," he reached down with his free hand, roughly rubbing on your clit as he growled. "Fucking cum."

"Keigo!" You screamed out his name one more time before your vision turned white, your orgasm washing over you with a force that knocked the breath outta you. You clung onto him, breaking down into sobs as wave after wave of pleasure hit you from the top of your head down to your toes.

"Keigo... Keigo please..." you cried, Hawks still fucking into you through your orgasm.

"Yes... yes, baby, just like that. I'm gonna cum too..." He was breathless, his thrusts coming in frantic and messy. "Can I cum in you, baby? Fill that pussy up? I want you to milk me, baby, fuck, fuck, you feel so good."

"Yes! Yes please!" You cried, now hit with that strong over sensitivity but you didn't care, you wanted him to keep fucking you, and he did, until he finally hit his orgasm, blowing his load right inside of you as he let out a loud, gutteral moan. It was enough to make you cum a second time, and you swore you went to heaven for a moment.

Soon, you fell into a heap on the bed, and you wrapped your arms around Hawks, accepting his body weight on top of you. There was no better feeling in the world. But you knew you had to let go eventually, so you did and he rolled off of you after carefully pulling out.

"Are you okay?" he asked while lying down next to you, breathing heavily as he covered his eyes with his forearm.

"Hmm," you hummed softly, eyes closed as you regained your breath. "I'm absolutely wonderful..."

You cranked open an eye to look at him. Hawks had a lazy smile on his face, looking very satisfied. You yawned soon after and he just chuckled softly, pushing himself up. "Let's clean up and get to bed."

You nodded slowly, pausing when you felt him kiss your temple. "You should totally call into work tomorrow." From what you remembered, Hawks had off, but you still had to go do some office work.

But Hawks clearly had other plans. He smiled at you, his eyes still full of carnal heat and desire. "Because you're not leaving my bed at all."

-End

♡♡♡

[l0v3tast3]

here to help — spike spiegel

spike can't help but say yes when you ask him to help you with something so nicely.

✎ tags: mdni!, smut, female reader, cat girl!reader, dub-con if you squint, smoking, spike's eye wasn't the only thing experimented on (wink), pet names, spike is kind of a perv but in a hot way, very brief mentions of blood, dacryphilia, bit of a size kink, he's nice in a mean way, unsafe sex, fluff at the end

✎ word count: 3.8k (proofread this time wowie!)

✎ author's note: i know i haven't posted anything in a month oops sorry ヾ(´ ▽ ` ) ... anyways i'm back and still working on call of duty stuff for those who follow me for that! but i'm also gonna start writing for jujutsu kaisen and cowboy bebop now yippee!

masterlist

spike really, really hated sharing a wall with you right now.

being the latest addition to the bebop, the room next to spike's had been the only empty one left, and you were just so sweet. he had just grumbled a "fine" and went on with his day, thinking that you were agreeable enough to live next to.

you were quiet, certainly more-so than faye; he had reasoned with himself that that was why he said yes. not that your pointed cat ears atop your head and fluffy tail that flicked side to side and curled when you were happy was the cutest thing he'd ever seen.

you had sheepishly explained them when it was just you and him in the living room. he had asked what the deal was with "all that", and you had twiddled your thumbs in your lap and told him about the medical tests gone very wrong. he had started scolding faye and jet whenever they made jokes after that, and kept ed away from poking at you.

now, though, you were anything but quiet.

spike could hear every moan and gasped breath you uttered through the thin wall, his bed of course pressed up against it. he could hear the sounds of you desperately fingering yourself, wet noises between your voiced frustrations. you must have been soaked.

he wasn't stupid; he had figured it out pretty quick. after the first night, when faye had knocked on your door to drag you out and you said you were sick, he knew you were lying. after the second night he realized you were in heat.

this was now the third night in a row, and he was exhausted. it was hard to get any sleep with you practically crying out in his ear, making him painfully hard throughout the whole night. at least he knew now why you would disappear for a week every month you'd been here. this time, though, the bebop just had to be out of fuel, unable to get to the nearest planet with a hotel.

spike was fed up.

he was just going to go over to your door and tell you to be quiet. right? well, he didn't want to embarrass you. but you had to know he could hear you. you had to know he could hear everything, even the whines of his name that you were poorly attempting to keep quiet.

your door stood in front of him and spike was unsure of what to do, more than he had been in a long while. should he knock? just yell and hope you hear?

he was about to just turn away when the door slid open; he hadn't even realized you'd gone quiet. he just stared in shock, mouth hanging open as he processed the fact that the only thing you were wearing was one of his shirts.

"spike," you sighed, as if just seeing him gave you some kind of relief. your eyes were glazed and wet like you were on the verge of crying.

it took him several moments to recover. "you're... being loud," he finally managed to say.

"'m sorry," you muttered, looking down. "can't help it, it just hurts."

"you need some help?"

spike was just as surprised as you seemed to be by the words that had just come out, but your breathy voice, wet thighs, and having been already thinking about this for awhile won him over.

"are- are you serious?"

"wouldn't say it if i didn't mean it." he was walking forward into your doorframe, tall enough that he almost had to slouch. it made him very aware of just how small you were compared to him. "do you want my help?"

you nodded, backing up as he slid the door shut behind him and moved closer to you. when you were at the edge of your bed and couldn't back up anymore, he came close enough to cup your face with his hands and bend down until your lips were a hair's breadth apart.

"you gotta say it, sweetheart."

your hands were on his bare chest, nails almost digging in. "yes, please, need your help, spike-"

he pushed his lips into yours and you let out the sweetest moan he'd ever heard. his hands were running through your hair, down your back and to your waist and under your (his) shirt, swallowing your noises the entire time.

breaking your kiss to pull off your shirt, he marveled at the sight of you. he was laying you down on your bed and biting and licking down your body before he knew it, until he kneeled between your legs, pushing them up to get a better view.

your hands were already in his unruly hair to try and tug him to where you needed him to be, but he didn't budge. instead he brought his hand down from under your knee, each grazing touch closer to your core making you twitch.

"shit, you're so sensitive, baby," he muttered. his fingers had barely touched your clit and you were already crying out.

"please, spike, please just do something," you whimpered when his hand went back to your thigh.

"what do you want me to do, hm?"

"something, anything, please spike!" he almost felt bad when tears started welling up in your eyes again. almost.

"anything?" he echoed with a giddy smile.

he slid two fingers inside you easily. you were practically dripping wet, a damp spot already forming underneath you. he cursed again as he felt how tight you were, watching your back arch almost immediately.

"ha-a, ah! spike!"

your voice was music to his ears, a song he wanted to play on loop forever. he'd been imagining it, your whimpers and pleas, for months now. it was about time the universe paid him back.

it took less than a minute for you to cum, your body going stiff and your voice choking. spike almost came himself when he felt your pussy contracting around his fingers.

he gave you barely any time to recover before he was licking up your juices, sucking on your clit and pushing his tongue into you. you just about screamed, but you didn't push him away, only pulled him closer, one hand leaving his hair to claw at any skin you could reach.

you were already reduced to a babbling mess and he couldn't stop muttering about just how sweet and addicting you were.

"fuuuck, sweetheart," he dragged out, finally detaching himself from your clit after you'd came twice more. "can't get enough of you."

spike stood up and you whined, sitting up and trying to get his sweatpants off before he even had a chance to himself.

he choked out a moan when you started licking and sucking at his cock as soon as his pants were down, looking like you were entering the same trance he had just been in. it took every ounce of willpower he had to drag you off of him and lift you back onto the bed.

"you can do that later, angel. i'm here to help you, right?"

you seemed to forget about going down on him pretty quickly, opting instead for trying to drag the man closer as he crawled over you. he gave in to you rather easily, meeting his lips with yours again.

admittedly, he had been giving into you a lot lately. he would give you the last snack left and let you lean against him on the couch when you were tired. he would let you come with him when he split off from the group when you touched down in a new place.

and of course, everyone noticed. they saw how soft he was with you, how his stature relaxed and he slouched just a bit closer to your level when you walked into the room. and of course, they teased him relentlessly about it.

jet had even asked him once if spike thought you went into heats.

"well, she disappears for a week every month. what if that's when- ya know-"

"faye disappears all the time. so do i. besides, it's none of our business."

spike would never admit that he got off to the thought of it. and now, here he was, basically living his dreams. he couldn't wipe the grin off his face.

you whined when he started rubbing his dick over your pussy, his head bumping your clit with each grind. he found your attempts to line your hips up so he would finally fuck into you adorable; there wasn't much you could do though when he had his arms hooked under your knees and hands grabbing at your waist.

"aww, sweetheart, what's wrong?" he patronized, breaking away from kissing you. you were still grabbing at him wherever you could. "what is it? you want me to fuck you?"

"mhm, need you to, please spike- ah!"

he wasted no time pushing into you as soon as he heard your sweet voice, cursing as he slowly pressed in further and further, barely dragging his hips back before he would slide in more.

"oh, fuck, baby- so fuckin' tight, can barely fit my dick inside you- shit!"

you cried out when he finally bottomed out; it was like he was reshaping you to fit him inside. it had been so long since you had been with someone, since someone had helped you with your heat, but even then it had never felt as good as it did now.

he was about to ask if you were alright when you started begging him to move, to fuck you, to please help you. his final shred of resolve snapped before he grabbed one of your wrists as leverage to start hammering into you.

your back arched again and spike took that as an opportunity to lean down and suck on one of your nipples. he wasn't surprised when you came again already, your cunt tightening until he felt like he could barely move. your eyes rolled back and your nails dug as deep as they could into spike's back, probably drawing blood. he didn't care, though, because you looked so pretty cumming on his cock.

spike kept making you cum as much as he could until he couldn't fight off his own orgasm anymore (he was honestly impressed with himself that he'd managed to even last this long).

"where do you want me, baby? huh? where d'you want my cum?" he breathed, watching your body squirm and twitch from overstimulation.

you couldn't even answer him, feeling like he fucked your brain right out of your head. all you could think of was the pleasure overtaking your entire being, of wanting to stay like this for as long as possible.

when you didn't say anything, spike leaned down over you and left your leg on his shoulder to lightly grab your jaw.

"c'mon, angel, you gotta answer me," he panted. "you want me to cum inside you, right?"

that seemed to bring you out your haze a little bit and you nodded, ears teary and face painted a cute shade of pink. "mhm- ah- cum in- side, ah! please!" you managed.

he came with a harsh groan, bullying his dick as far into you as he could as he filled you up. you came with him one more time, your body clinging onto his, trying to keep him from pulling out.

you both stayed like that for some time, kissing slow and stealing the other's body heat. you whimpered when he pulled away and started to untangle your limbs from his, but he shushed you with another smile.

"don't worry, sweetheart. we're far from being done."

spike found out just how sensitive your extra appendages are pretty quickly, and he absolutely took advantage of it.

scratching and petting your soft ears made you melt against him, like putty in his hands. he found you're much more pliant when he does it, less whiny and more grateful.

of course, spike wasn't a complete dick, so he would take you into his room to feed both of his addictions at once. like when he was fucking you but stopped every time you were about to cum, torturing you just to see what you'd do. he had your hands tied to his headboard, keeping one hand on your stomach to pin you down and using the other to smoke a cigarette while he lazily fucked you.

"nngh, nonono- please! spike, you're bein' mean-"

he bends down over you to put out his cigarette on the bedside table, making him press deeper into you; you nearly came just from that, choking on your words.

"i'm being mean? sweetheart, i'm helping you." he cupped your face and debated internally for a second before he reached up to pet and rub your little cat ears soothingly.

your tensed limbs went slack, no longer tugging on your binds or trying to pull him closer with your legs. your wide eyes became lidded and you started nuzzling your head further into his hand.

"you asked for my help, remember? this is how i help you, baby," he cooed, and when you gave a little nod and a whimpered "mhm" he smiled. "you just gotta be a good girl and take it. can you do that?"

you nodded again. "mhm, i'll be good," you mumbled.

"good," spike said, reaching for another cigarette and leaning back up to light it. he put a hand back on your stomach and when he wasn't holding his cigarette he was petting your ears as he went back to slowly dragging his hips back and forth.

he also found out that tugging on your tail made you cum nearly instantly, and he used that until you were crying.

you were on your hands and knees on the floor with spike fucking you from behind, having to hold your hips to keep them up; he was holding your hair in a messy ponytail to make you watch it all in the floor-length mirror that was in front of you.

the curl of your tail against your back was just so cute, and having seen the effect of touching your ears, he had no hesitation in grabbing your tail lightly. your body shuddered and twitched and your back arched when you let out a loud whine.

"shit," he groaned through clenched teeth, feeling your pussy tightening around him. "you really like that, don't you angel?"

"fu-uck, mm-mm, i don'-"

he grabbed the base of your tail and tugged, and you were clawing at the blankets underneath you as you came.

"ha, why are you lying to me, baby?" spike breathed, tossing his head back as he fucked you through your orgasm. "thought you were finally being good."

he flipped you over with a pillow under your back and tried it again while he ate you out, and he was delighted to feel your cunt pulsing around his tongue. he tried it when he was just rubbing your clit, when he only had two fingers inside of you, when he was just sucking on your tits. you came every time, and each time made you try to claw your way away from him a little more. he never let you run; even if he did, he knew you would just come right back.

"one more time, baby, just one more for me," he kept saying, until you were reaching back to grab his wrist, his arm, his chest, anything to get him to let up.

"please, ple- ah, spike!" you hiccupped. which one of you was the one in heat again? "break, i need- nnh- need a break!"

he slowed down his thrusts and took his hand away from your tail, your sob turning into one of relief.

"alright, baby, we can take a break, you just gotta give me one more," he said, leaning down over you to kiss the back of your neck. you tried to shake your head, tried to say you couldn't give him anymore; it was then that you realized you definitely wouldn't be able to keep up with him if you continued this after your heat was over.

"i know you can, doin' so good for me," he just mumbled as he fucked you slower, until he finally let himself cum, of course making sure to give your tail one last squeeze. he couldn't help himself when it forced the cutest moans out of you.

he filled you with his cum over and over again, the both of you passing out for a couple of hours just to wake up and fuck all over again.

he would wake up to you sucking his dick, you would wake up to him spooning you and giving you hickies in the spaces between the ones he'd already left while he fingered you open again.

the only other time you stopped fucking is when he forced you to take a break and shower. you clung to him like a koala bear the entire way to the bathroom, fucked again in the shower, and clung to him all the way back.

during the duration of your heat, spike found himself being a lot more caring than he had been to someone in a very long time. he made sure you drank plenty of water, took you to the bathroom, made sure you ate still, dealt with your whining every second he wasn't physically touching you. in truth, he liked how much it made him feel needed.

he only ran into jet once while he quickly raided the fridge and filled up water bottles. jet came in just as he was hugging the supplies to his shirtless chest.

"spike! where the hell have you been?"

"uh... well, turns out she does go into heat," he said with a shrug and a slightly smug grin, walking past jet.

"oh, shit... wait, how do you know-" his jaw dropped when he saw spike's chest, back and arms, scratched to hell and marked with bites from your little fangs. he told faye, edward, and ein that you two were both very sick and needed to be "quarantined", counting himself lucky their bedrooms were all on the opposite side of the ship from yours.

you both stayed in your routine of fucking, sleeping, eating, and being forced to bathe for four days before your system starts calming down (spike had found himself considering the experiments done on himself more good than bad; he was so grateful he could keep up with you).

it's when you wake up with a pained groan as he's stretching out his overused muscles that he knows you're finally sobering up. as much as he loved the sex marathon, he was starting to get sore all over.

he plops back down next to you and you roll over to lay on top of him, but for the first time in days you don't start nipping at his chest and grinding against him. you just let out a little whine and go back to sleep. he can't help the little smile that spreads across his lips, and he reaches up to gently pet your ears and hair until he falls back asleep too.

you're shook awake a few hours later, blearily cracking open your eyes to see spike setting down a tray of "beef" and vegetables next to you on the bed. he gently moves your legs to sit beside you and eat his own.

"morning, sweetheart," he says when you raise your head and mumble something along the same lines back, slowly shifting onto your back and sitting up with another groan.

spike frowns a little in worry, wondering now if he had been too rough on you. it doesn't match up to your face of horror, though, when you look up and see his shirtless body.

"oh god, spike, 'm so sorry! you didn't have to- oh god," you ramble in panic, reaching out to him then retracting your hands and hiding your face in them, curling up into a ball.

spike laughs a little bit before he reaches over and gently takes your wrists in his hands to show your face to him again. "it's alright! hey, really, it's alright. i love the kind of woman who stakes her claim," he reassured with a cheesy smile.

your face goes red and you look down, embarrassed. "you didn't have to help me. i'm sorry- 'm sorry i made you do... all that."

"i seem to recall making you do a lot of things, too. very happily, too."

"well, yeah, but-"

"trust me, i enjoyed every minute of it, princess. well, except maybe having to force you into the shower. and having to spoon-feed you."

"you did not have to spoon-feed me!" you mutter indignantly, brows furrowing adorably and your tail flicking behind you.

"yes, i did," he sys, pointing his fork at you as he went back to his tray, "when you just needed to keep my dick inside you but didn't want to stop fucking yourself on it long enough to eat. had to hold you down." he acts like he's complaining, but he has a shit-eating grin on his face the entire time.

you choke on your own spit a little before huffing; before you can turn to your own food he adds on, "eat, don't make me force feed you again." you half-pout and half-glare at him, but you shovel the food into your mouth nonetheless.

once you're beyond full, you collapse back onto the bed, fully intending to go back to sleep and let your hormones rebalance on their own. you were always sore and exhausted for a day or two after your heat, but you usually slept through it anyways.

"hey." apparently, spike has other plans. "come on, we gotta take a bath." he's hauling you back into a sitting position and pulling his t-shirt over your head, which of course swallows you whole, despite all your whines and protests. "quit complaining, all you gotta do is sit in the water."

regardless of his front of acting like he was doing you a favor, he lets you cling to him again all the way to the bathroom. he washes your hair and cleans you off, makes sure the water isn't too hot for you. generally, you hate baths, but this seemed like something you could live with.

when he's toweled you dry and put you in one of his clean shirts, you sit on the counter while he finishes pulling up his sweats.

he picks you up again and as he starts walking you both back to your room, he asks, "so when did you take my shirt, anyway?"

spike feels you tense up and your cheeks get warm where they're pressed into the crook of his neck.

"i didn't take it," you squeak, "it got- it got mixed up in the laundry..."

"riiight. sure, sweetheart."

[luminouslywriting]

Ok weird request, Bob headcannons them getting hard and moaning by accident while your not in a relathionship, things can escalate from there or not ,obviously if you don't feel comfortable writing this that's totally fine.

Oh Nonny this one was delightfully wicked and so fun haha! As always, enjoy and reminder that my requests are open! Feel free to spam me as much as you'd like haha! I'm taking the day off and lounging by the pool to help me feel better so I'm pretty pleased with that!

More under the cut, cut for length, spice under the cut:

Dick Winters:

-Mortified to the max

-Like this man is a blushing upset mess and apologizing and stammering out how it was an accident

-Will not look you in the eyes for several days or weeks, depending on how loud the moan was haha

-Probably tells Nixon about it because he's so embarrassed and Nixon teases him about it

-This is not going to help him in his feelings for you and is going to be something that he wants to genuinely forget and hope that you forget.

-Though if you thought it was hot and admit it to him, he'll be super flattered and will definitely finally make a move.

Lewis Nixon:

-Probably drunk when he does it and not as embarrassed as he should be?? The thing about him is that he knew he was drunk and it was a normal human response

-He'll definitely apologize when he sobers up about things but it's not a weird point between the two of you

-Might even attempt to get himself soberly locked in the closet with you so that he can do it again sober

-And at that point, handsy makeout session that absolutely ends in someone walking in on the two of you

-But at least you two get together by the end of it??

Ronald Speirs:

-Internally embarrassed and feeling like the WORST, externally really chill about it as you reassure him that it's perfectly normal and fine

-He definitely overthinks and hyperfixates on this for WAY too long and is trying to figure out if he actually likes you or if he's just physically attracted to you

-But when he finally figures it out, it's this really simple statement about how it's not just a physical reaction and how he really likes you

-This might result in locking yourselves in the nearest bedroom and figuring out how to make more of those pretty moans that you heard haha

-Turns out, you're just as in love with him as he is with you and he's perfectly pleased with that

-Wonders what would've happened if he had actually figured it out sooner because he's really happy with you

Buck Compton:

-Stammering an apology and blushing

-Will absolutely need some space so he can recover his pride and not be super embarrassed or a wreck around you

-Probably writes out an apology to you because he doesn't want you to feel weird around him

-Then further writes a little letter about how he actually feels and you find said letter by mistake

-So if you go up and kiss him, then all will work out on its own haha

-Happy if it all works out in the end

Carwood Lipton:

-Immediate apologies and avoiding eye contact. He knows he's messed up somehow and he is NOT the type to do that to a lady.

-It will take you approaching him about the situation and about your feelings for him to actually make a move.

-Even then, he's super shy about the moaning and feels embarrassed whenever it happens.

-Keep practicing with him though, he'll get more comfortable being vocal haha

-Or purposely try to tease him in public and he'll figure out what works for him REAL quick, I promise haha

-Either way, he's consistently embarrassed about it throughout your relationship whenever it happens though

Joseph Liebgott:

-Let's say for the sake of his personality, this was intentional on your part because he hadn't made a move yet. So whatever sort of teasing that you did to make it happen, he's just gonna roll with it.

-Initially a little embarrassed but it fades quickly

-This turns into the world's fastest makeout session with the both of you getting handsy

-Public teasing for the two of you? Absolutely a fact of matter in your newfound relationship

-Don't worry, he fully intends on getting you back for the fact that you technically made the first move in the relationship—and you'll get your dues in full honey

-Never shy about his moaning or the fact that he's hard—he will tell you and he will expect to have it taken care of post-haste haha

Donald Malarkey:

-Swearing up a panicked storm about it because NO, FOUL, it was an accident

-Requires a whole 48 hours of space because he's literally so embarrassed and not having it with you

-Also comes back to you and admits that there's only one person he wants to have him help take care of things and it's you

-It might be the weirdest sweetest thing you've ever heard??

-But I digress—he is NOT into teasing in any way, but any sort of physical contact he can have with you is a turn on for him.

-Clingy king to the max after this

Eugene Roe:

-French swears, French swears, French swears, mortification, feeling a little humbled lol

-Apologizes very quickly and tries to get space

-But if you grab his arm and kiss him, he loses all track of where his mindset was and not a single brain cell will be present

-Offer to take care of things for him—he'll probably tell you that he loves you in the middle of it

-And then he'll insist on taking care of YOU at that point

-This absolutely turns into soft and sweet sex with doc haha

Bill Guarnere:

-Also swears and feels super bad about it because he doesn't want you to feel like you HAVE to do anything with him

-Locate this man immediately and find a nice wall that you can talk near, because that wall is about to become the only thing holding you up lol

-Listen, if you admit that you didn't mind and that you were also turned on by what he did, he's going to go FERAL

-I'm talking holding your hands above you head as he kisses you and trying to keep the both of you quiet because he's got a LOT of feelings

-Is a pretty vocal guy so you might have to wait for some actual alone time before anything gets taken care of or done haha

-Either way, you two end up together pretty quickly

Joe Toye:

-Apologizes, removes himself from the situation, tries not to think about it ever again

-Thinks about it WAY TOO much though and ends up trying to take care of things himself for a while

-Until he decides that it's just not gonna work and he can't do it without you....

-At which point, he locates you, admits how he's feeling, and says that he hopes to have some time alone with you soon

-Still tries to make things really romantic between the two of you and special

-Consistently dreams about you until you get together, and then he's much worse haha

George Luz:

-This sweet loudmouth lets that moan slip and he knows immediately that he's colossally messed up

-But uh, in the event you're not bothered by that, he's going to be even more turned on and vocal

-This quickly descends into sex for the two of you

-But you're not together together yet?? So it requires some conversations afterwards for it to turn into a relationship

-He's still trying to figure out his feelings and you might be the person to say that you love him first

-At that point, he's so enamored and committed to you that it's a win-win situation haha

[cripplecharacters]

Hello! I need some advice on how to deal with something in my story. CW for mentions of violence. This takes place in a medieval high fantasy setting in a rural village, and it's going to be a comic.

I have a character who was injured during a sword fight. She developed PTSD from this (along with another unrelated, separate incident which isn't relevent here).

CW for brief mentions of violence, description of panic attacks.

I'm gonna try and condense this so it's not 20 paragraphs of nonsense:

She actually copes with her PTSD relatively well, and is only triggered in specific situations which are not common occurences.

She lives in a rural village with one healer who has advised her on healthy coping mechanisms, but does not have the time/experience to act as a therapist.

At one point in the story, she starts becoming closer to another character she needs to work with, and they spar with each other.

He swings a sword near her face, which triggers a PTSD flashback. (Her face was previously wounded in a sword fight). He does not know she has PTSD or would be triggered by this, it's a complete accident. All he knew is that she had a scar on her face from something.

There are other characters in the story with facial scars from things like slipping and falling or cleft lip repair surgeries so he just assumes hers is from something like that.

After realizing that something's wrong he immediately stops sparring with her. He doesn't have PTSD but he does have severe anxiety and panic attacks and he recognizes that she's freaking out.

I have anxiety so I know what a panic attack is like, but I don't have PTSD so I'm not sure what a flashback is like.

When I have a panic attack, I get severe tunnel vision and my ears ring to the point everything sounds muffled. I also sometimes shake/shiver violently and feel like I'm going to faint if I don't sit down immediately.

Questions:

Would the flashback look/feel similar to that?

How fast would she be able to recover or realize that she's not in any danger?

Would she be able to communicate to her friend what's happening and what he can do to help?

Would asking him to just sit with her and hold her be okay/make sense? She also has autism and she likes to be squished and hugged tightly, it makes her feel secure and safe.

I can recover from panic attacks pretty quickly and then maybe feel only a little bit off for the rest of the day, but I don't know if she would be able to do the same after a flashback.

Also, there's one last thing I'm debating on whether or not I want to happen:

The character is fighter and it's a HUGE danger for her to be having a flashback in the middle of a battle. She (or someone else) could die if she's unable to fight.

Since the village healer can't help much, would it make sense for her to sort of DIY exposure therapy?

Obviously in real life this would be risky, but the character really has no other choice in this scenario and, to be honest, it's entirely in character for her to say "Fuck you, I'm doing this my way."

I'm going to read a couple papers on it to see exactly how it works and what she might do, but my main concern is that it would end up being weird, I guess?

She asks her two friends to help, one of which is the man she was sparring with (and later falls in love with).

Obviously, he's not actually her therapist, but I'm worried people will read it and go "Omg unhealthy relationship! Power imbalance! Therapist is fucking the patient! Evil!" but Idk, maybe I've spent too much time around fandom discourse lmao.

A few more questions:

Do you have any other advice or things I should keep in mind about her PTSD, like (healthy) ways she might cope with it?

With enough time and therapy, will she be able to sort of feel "normal" and have so few symptoms that she no longer meets the diagnostic criteria, or is she just sort of stuck with everything?

Is there anything I've written about her PTSD that is inaccurate or that could be done differently?

I'm so, so sorry that this got so long. Hopefully breaking it up into bullet points helped. Please take all the time you need to respond <3

First of all love the use of bullet points. It was incredibly helpful and I appreciate it! Many of these questions don't have one straight forward easy answer. PTSD varies a lot from person to person and even day to day or moment to moment. There is no one answer to “How fast would she be able to recover or realize that she's not in any danger?” and “Would she be able to communicate to her friend what's happening and what he can do to help?” Recovering could take minutes to days. She might be able to speak fluently or not at all. That’s sort of up to you. 

There are different types of flashbacks and they will feel different to different people. These several links may be useful to you. Link 1, Link 2, Link 3, Link 4

So with the exposure therapy, you are right. It would be really risky. I don’t think it’s a matter of "Fuck you, I'm doing this my way." The risk here is that it’s entirely possible that it would make her PTSD worse rather than better. It’s not a fast process either, it takes time. Why can’t there be a therapist near her? 

The character asking him to just sit with her and hold her would be okay and definitely could make sense. 

My answer for “Do you have any other advice or things I should keep in mind about her PTSD, like (healthy) ways she might cope with it?” Honestly just do your research! Learn about how people with PTSD cope and experience the world. There are lots of personal records available on the internet. Maybe even look at the PTSD section of the DSM. 

“With enough time and therapy, will she be able to sort of feel "normal" and have so few symptoms that she no longer meets the diagnostic criteria, or is she just sort of stuck with everything?” The answer is likely something in between the two. It is unlikely she will ever be cured of PTSD. However, given time and help she can find ways to cope and have a happy life. Her happy life might never be able to involve sword fighting, maybe it doesn’t look “normal” but she can live a happy satisfying life without being cured. 

Now on your last point. I have some concerns when you say “The character is a fighter and it's a HUGE danger for her to be having a flashback in the middle of a battle. She (or someone else) could die if she's unable to fight.” First, this is a harmful trope of disability representation in media. It’s not great to treat disability as an active liability/threat. We also don’t need to moralize symptoms. To quote another mod “Flashbacks suck but they happen…having a character with significant PTSD never have flashbacks…is not super realistic especially if…she's retraumatizing herself by being in an environment similar to where the trauma happened”

If she knows she's being triggered by battles why does she keep fighting? I don’t understand why she would take the risk of retraumatizing herself in such a high-stakes situation. Especially because from the sound of things she’s coping well and knows about her symptoms. 

Thank you for your question. I hope this was helpful. 

-Mod Patch

[fanaticsnail]

Update on what's going on in the Snail Household

If you're just new to my account, you'd likely not know that chef-husband (how I refer to my husband here) had broken his shoulder in late January, had complications in recovery, had been off work for nearly 5 months to nurse the injury back to health.

I'll put the update under a break here to not take up too much space on your device. If you take the time out of your day to read here, I love you 🖤

He has returned to work now, which is amazing. His apprentices and coworkers had missed him so much, and he is so glad to be back. He is attending some physio appointments and rehabilitative therapies to regain strength - and he is doing very well. I'm so proud of him.

The two breaks were within his armpit, the bone where the socket meets the join. There are also several debris still in there and his ligaments are still very tender from splitting them and the cartilage apart on impact. The injury happened at work, so every medical expense has been covered by his workplace.

While he has enjoyed being back at work, he has been missing home time with Young-Sir & Dottir-Bean (my 4yo & 3yo) and they have been missing their dad when he goes - especially my son when he does the night shift.

I am very proud of him for returning to work, but I do miss him at home too. Very selfish of me to love my husband so much to want him home. 11 years of relationship, almost 9 years of marriage, and he's still my best friend and love of my life. Something about tall men with broad shoulders, who are kind and compassionate, who smoke to cope with stresses at work...

Now that I've said all that, here's a little going on with me, currently.

I am recovering from the flu right now, still all gross and foggy and blocked nosey. The kids have had it and it's always my turn to get it last. It's gross, and I am surviving on black coffee, honey and lemon tea, paracetamol, and numbing throat lozenges.

Now for the uncomfy stuff.

I've had to say goodbye to a friendship of 15 years with someone who, once upon a time, was very important to me. He wrote me a handwritten letter that hurt me very deeply and came across a little yandere. It made me very uncomfortable reading it. Yandere belongs in books fanfiction, not in real life.

The letter was given to me at the Star Wars themed wedding I attended on May the 4th - which I think I posted here in response to an ask from @mfreedomstuff: which I appreciate all the time, love.

I have been speaking to my extended family, and a few mutuals on here have been reassuring me that ending the friendship was the right thing to do. It was sad and I've been having a lot of anger about it that I'm working through.

This is what's been going on for the month of May, alongside finding out one of our prettier chickens was actually a rooster in disguise. He's going to make the most beautiful chicks with our hens - particularly our Araucana. Gonna get a Black Copper Marans Hen one of these days if it's the last thing I do 😤👌.

If you've made it to here, thank you so much for reading. I'll get right back into writing some content for you. Just thought I'd share a little about my personal life here to give you a glimpse into what's going on with me (and why I've been writing so much this month: to deal with all this).

Writing and this community has been such a beautiful aspect of my life, and I have enjoyed getting to know you on here. Even though I am just a snail on here, this part of my life has been so much sunshine amongst the dreary. Love you all, and I'll get right back into the writing soon.

[starryredpandawrites]

The newest bendy bites be absolutely peak I’m all the more for it (I would love to rant forever about this but sadly sleep is needed for a brain to function so this will do)

First of - first Aid

The transition between food in the cycle and how it works for healing… (besides Henry… is not like this for some reason, he literally just has a passive constant healing effect in Batim it’s never acknowledged nor questioned even then Dark revival speaificly set up, idk if it will be the same in The Cage, admittedly kinda doubt it but it would be just an extra layer of fucked if Joey designed Henry to heal form his injuries at a rapid enough pace where he can get hurt, heal back up, and get hurt again without “dying”) gigantic rant aside. It’s unclear if the Ink demon can even get hurt physically enough for the sake of needing food to survive - or simply based of the fact he’s a gigantic ink monster that’s also a living breathing being that gets hungry and needs to eat a lot just to keep himself vigilant and perhaps not as “mindless” (cus like… he can’t starve to death, surely and sadly the Keepers would have found that out quickly) like say Batim pre “evolving”

It’s sadly not a topic that’s explored even then getting consumed is perma death in the cycle by itself (Inky, the widow king, Shipohoy Wilson & Steve respectively I belive to be the only ones we know can achieve this in DR)

My gibberish aside- Inky & Bendy would know that getting hurt in the cycle you’d need like a nice snack of a whole meal just to recover. Audery having fallen and scrapped up her knee on her way home from work and bleeding isn’t gonna magically fix itself in the real world. And that may very well take a good few attempts to really stick, yet even the cartoon logic and probably flexibility of Audrey’s body that few take advantage of will probably cause her to get less hurt but like… Shipohoy still snapped her legs at the top femur - bones are infact still in there. So Audrey would either have to teach him how wounds work, maybe some anatomy and what is really bad for a body to actually break or damaged and what is truely severe and what needs prioritizing (like how to hurt people who hurt his sister and make it hurt truely last)

Still, it could be something he’d mock her for probably in being clumsy and getting hurt, but I can also see him being worried about her for it. Not knowing what to do and feeling frustrated or helpless at food nor working anymore, so having to think and do other methods to ensure that she is safe and out of harms way. Could progress into learning more of the inner workings of animals to or simply Audery also returning the favors figuring out how to help Bendy in either of his form if he ever gets messed up. Just stuff like that

Thank you!!! I love rants but I'm glad you've chosen to prioritize sleep, haha. Also, these are good good thoughts, thank you for sharing 🥰

There would certainly be a tall learning curve for Bendy regarding injuries in the real world.

I imagine the Keepers would have done everything possible to kill Bendy and obviously it just doesn't work, including starvation. He doesn't need to eat, but he enjoys it a lot. It's his first and favorite hobby lol

He can get injured/stabbed/crushed but he heals really, really quickly. Like Henry, he would have a passive healing factor but much higher/faster. He doesn't have a lot of experience getting injured except for the Keepers.

I'm thinking he'll either have the same healing factor as in the ink world or it will be somewhat slowed. Leaning toward the latter because the idea of Audrey having to teach him first aid is cute. Imagine he trips and scrapes his knee and freaks out that he's still bleeding even tho it's been more than 2 seconds. He thinks he's dying and Audrey has to explain that injuries don't get magically healed here. She bandages his booboo and gives it a lil' kiss. Then, the next day it's her turn to be baffled because the injury is completely gone and she has to revise her statement about magical healing.

Imagine he actually believes her kiss healed him and she's just like, actually, I may have been wrong about you not being able to heal here, oops

Audrey is definitely more resilient than the average person but not invincible, like you said. She might able to bend her finger back pretty far but she still has bones that can break.

If Audrey ever got hurt he would totally do the thing where your sibling falls and your first reaction is to laugh your head off until you realize they're still on the ground and the worry hits. Then he would try to fix it by bringing her a snack. Audrey has to explain multiple times that injuries take time to heal in the outside world and he is very mad about it. Eventually, he would get used to it but secretly starts keeping a list of reasons the ink world is superior to the real world. He never shares it because it's a much shorter list than he expected.

Quick tangent, I don't think he's so naive that he wouldn't know what death is, but I do think he might forget how it works. Imagine he kills something, a bird or a deer and Audrey finds its half-eaten remains. She would scold him for being wasteful and he'd be like, If I eat all of it then it won't come back. Audrey has to remind him several times that death is permanent here and that deer isn't coming back no matter what.

Queue anxiety about Audrey permadying and she also has to remind him that the cycle is wayyyy more dangerous and that her chances of dying there (and possibly getting consumed) are way higher than in the real world.

Fun thoughts, thank you for the ask 🤍🖤🤍🖤🤍🖤🤍

[copperbadge]

I'm here! Well, I mean, I've been here for several hours at this point, but I've reached my lodgings and settled in. I hung up the next few days' worth of clothes, put my toiletries in the bathroom, took a shower, and am now running today's (which are also yesterday's) clothes through the small washer-dryer. We'll see if it actually dries them; if not at least I'm not doing this the hour before packing for Paris.

Went to Sainsbury's. You guys are not gonna believe the shit I found, but it's going to have to wait until my phone charges.

There have been a few hiccups on the road; the main one is that due to a complicated series of events, I have two USB ports I can charge all my gear from when I really could use four, and I'm not sure if I'll even have those two available once I leave London. I'm just going to have to be a little measured with my power use until I have more intel. In any case, most trains these days seem to have USB ports, so I'll just plug in whenever I can. As long as the phone stays charged I should be fine, and I can charge it like four times on my backup battery before the backup bites it.

Overall, despite Heathrow being a nightmare, it was a pleasant day -- I checked my luggage at the Tate Modern, did a loop of it, then went off to Pick & Cheese, the conveyor belt restaurant. I wanted one of everything but I know me, so I limited myself to three plates, which was enough to fill me up, although I imagine I'm going to have a snack before bed. (Hence Sainsbury's.) It was really, really good cheese and pairings, but I'm sure part of it was also that I hadn't had a real meal in roughly eighteen hours. The dinner they served on the flight was absolutely inedible; I had three or four protein/granola bars and a cup of Chobani, but that was pretty much it. It's fine -- Adderall is an appetite suppressant and normally it doesn't affect me because I'm home all day and like to eat, but actual hunger isn't an issue and as long as I make sure I get some calories in my face every few hours, blood sugar wasn't either. This is why I brought a literal dozen protein bars.

Still nice to sit somewhere and eat what amounted to a big plate of protein and sugar.

Everyone I've interacted with has been super nice, too -- people don't know how to walk on the sidewalk, which my midwestern-transplant soul found almost actively rude, but I chalked it up to tourists the same way we do back home. All the "staff" I've dealt with -- airport attendants, train officials, waitstaff, museum staff, the guy at Sainsbury's -- have been super nice. It reminds me that some cities actually want to be tourist cities, unlike Chicago, which begrudgingly admits we need tourists but really would rather they all die horribly. There's being a good customer service staffer and then there's actually being a nice person and I think most of the folks I dealt with are the latter.

Tomorrow I go to the British Museum, and I'm kind of glad that mudlarking fell through, because I feel like I definitely am going to need the morning to do a little recovering from all the walking. I'm going to ice my feet tonight and that should help.

So yes, here I am, in the new time zone, plotting a heist getting ready for tomorrow. I've successfully taken several different trains and a bus, and I know at least two of my payment cards work overseas plus my phone, so all of the major problems I anticipated are non-problems in the end.

I'm hoping tomorrow morning to go back over my posts and add anything that's needed and maybe post a few more photos from today, but we'll see. I have no idea what time I'll wake up tomorrow if I go to bed in the next half hour. Exciting to find out!

[mumms-the-word]

May prompts: I need borrowed clothing involving either ardynn/halsin or freyr/minthara

I was going to say “bold of you to assume Freyr can fit into Minthara’s clothes” and then I was like “oh wait” not that Halsin can fit in Ardynn’s clothes either but that’s what my brain gave my first lol

Ugh both are so good how am I supposed to CHOOSE? that’s a rhetorical question I know exactly what I’m gonna do

Edit: Also I’ve been informed that this event is meant to be written about other people’s Tavs and Durges but for the purposes of this request I'm just going to respond with a normal little fic!

But because I appreciate YOU I'm including some of your awesome photos of Ardynn in this :>

Story under the cut!! Warning, it is super silly.

~*~*~

Ardynn and Halsin had finally settled into their new home in the Reclaimed Lands, making a home out of a haphazard cabin that was formerly the ruins of a farmstead. To say that Ardynn loved her new life here was an understatement. She and Halsin had worked together to patch up the walls of the cabin, using a combination of old boards and climbing vines, mortal ingenuity and natural solutions. Thaniel had helped raise the collapsed roof of one room by growing a tree inside the structure, allowing dappled sunlight to stream in through the branches of the tree and the hole in the ceiling. Their home was a living home, built up and bending around a healthy tree and its roots, with flowering vines creeping up the sides and sunlight streaming in through the windows and roof. It was everything she dreamed it could be.

On this day, Ardynn was continuing to work on their home, arranging furniture and organizing their few (but growing) personal possessions. Halsin was out with the children, ambling about as a bear to give them rides on his back and play with them, and she didn't expect him back for some time. She sat cross-legged on the floor, folding away her clothes and his, thinking idly to herself that they would have to obtain warmer clothes for the winter.

After a moment, she picked up Halsin's leather and green fabric shirt, running her thumb over the patterns carved into the leather. He had taken the Emerald Grove emblem from the front a few days ago, so the front looked almost...empty. She wondered if there was something she could replace it with.

As she was examining the shirt, she noticed other markings she'd never noticed before. Pressed into the leather, near the collar, were little magic symbols, runes that were somehow familiar. After a moment of studying them, she realized they made up an enchantment to disappear or morph the shirt during his wildshapes, so that when he turned into a bear, or perhaps something even larger, or even stopped wildshaping halfway through to become a kind of hybrid man, the shirt wouldn't just rip into shreds.

She wondered...

She glanced over her shoulder, as if he might be walking into the door at any moment, and then stood up. She pulled off her own shirt and then hesitated, standing in nothing but her trousers, feeling silly all of a sudden. But the curiosity was greater, and she pulled Halsin's shirt easily over her head.

For a moment, it was comically large on her, the armholes alone big enough to fit several arms of her size instead of one. But then, just as she suspected, the shirt shrank down, fitting itself to her body until it pressed against her breasts and ribs. A perfect fit.

She moved to stand in front of a dingy-looking glass they had recovered from some wreckage a few days ago, turning this way and that. She had to admit, she looked pretty good with Halsin's shirt hugging her body. Add a few leather arm straps and maybe...

In the looking glass, she saw movement near the open front door and whirled just in time to see Halsin ducking into their home. She froze and then he froze, staring at her with eyes wide with surprise.

She didn't know what to say, and she could feel her face getting as red as her hair. This had to be the most embarrassing thing she'd ever done in front of him, bar none. But she couldn't move or unstick her tongue from the roof of her mouth.

He blinked once, twice, and then lifted a hand as if going to gesture to her. "My heart. Is that..."

"I can explain," she blurted out, and that just made things worse because no, she couldn't actually explain. She wasn't just wearing his shirt, she was wearing his shirt that was now shrunk down and shaped as if it was tailor-made to her body.

Halsin closed the door behind him--something they rarely did except when they didn't want to be disturbed--and took a few slow steps forward. He stopped just a foot away, looking down at her. She held her breath as his eyes roved over her form, following the patterns on the leather and fabric as they curved over and around her body.

"It suits you," he said quietly. Huskily. Her eyes widened slightly as she realized that the look in his eyes was no longer confusion or surprise but...hunger. He reached up and skimmed his fingertips along her side, causing her to shiver. "In fact, I think you wear it better than I do."

She swallowed, trying to keep track of her thoughts. "I was just...I saw the enchantment runes and I..."

He didn't seem to hear her. He smoothed his hand down her arm, seemingly distracted by her. "I am tempted to let you keep it. But, I fear, it would become a distraction."

"A distraction?" she breathed.

A faint smile graced his lips and he leaned in, bringing his lips down close to her ear. "I shall be unable to think of anything but you in my clothing, my heart. Even now, it is difficult to focus."

Her heart began to race in her chest. As he pulled away to look down at her, she met him gaze for gaze and found herself torn between wanting to diffuse the situation (it was the middle of the day) and wanting to tempt him further.

Her baser nature won, in the end.

She tilted her head, trailing her fingers along the bottom hem of the shirt. "Should I...take it off?"

She felt a little proud of the way his eyes followed her fingers, only to glance back to up to meet hers, hazel eyes already faintly glowing with a thin ring of gold.

"Yes."

~*~*~

More pictures to cool everyone off 🥰

[comicaurora]

If you don't mind me asking, what did the buffer get down to?

When I decided to take a break at the end of the chapter, the buffer had been in single digits for a hot minute, and that number had been steadily shrinking. I currently have nine pages finalized and scheduled, which is more than I've been averaging and would already be grounds for me to need a break to build it back up, but on top of that I've had several large-scale disruptions of my work schedule for the last three months, and in the near future I'm gonna have about three weeks straight where for various reasons I won't be able to make any comic page progress.

The problem I ran into is I would build the buffer back up in a dramatic push of overwork, then feel satisfied with the push and take a few days or a week off to recover and do other work - at which point the buffer would be back where it started. In order to build things back I'd need to do the overwork push to break even, and then push even more to buy myself more time, which was an unsustainable concept because it'd take time away from other things like channel stuff or eating food. The upcoming three-week work dead zone basically tipped my hand, because even if I DID the double-overwork kaioken times three I'd still be nine pages down by the time I got back to work. The math was pretty easy at that point.

It's a good problem to have, though. I'm looking forward to the break!

[multiplicity-positivity]

Ok so

I'm sure by the time you get to this everything we're going through will be over (if not I think I would genuinely be dead) (no like literally) (I mean it's rare but--) (I'm gonna stop) but I would be curious to see what you think about this situation.

So we got "sick". It's an ear infection, actually, but it's close enough. This ear infection has been worse than any we've had in the past (were oddly prone to these things and have had at least 3 (including the current one) in the past 3 years or so) and it has taken pretty much everything energy-wise from us. We've skipped two days of school from this too. We were also in the ER yesterday for it. That makes it sound really bad, but it was just for IV antibiotics so they would take effect quicker. Doctor recommended it.

Anyways. Because of this, we have literally no clue who's fronting and haven't since this started. I don't know who I am typing this. It's just been a blurry mess.

That's what im curious about. What do we do when all of our energy is being spent on just making it through the day (oh btw we've gotten treatment and it's looking good), but... I still want to know who's fronting.

There's been no access to headspace at all, not that we normally have much, and we were just getting to the point that we could hear each other even when we're not fronting sometimes. I'm worried this will backtrack our progress. It's been 2 years that we've been working on this, and it took so long to get to this point. I don't want it to all go down the drain because of one particularly severe ear infection.

Anyways. Respond, or don't. I won't mind either way, really.

-???? (Via @cloverstarsys )

Hiya! Yowch, we’re really sorry y’all have been going through a rough time! We hope that your ear infection will recover smoothly and y’all will be able to get some rest soon! >_<

When it comes to figuring out who’s fronting… the safety and well-being of your system should come first always! Y’all might just have to take some uncomfortable time without knowing whose fronting until you reach a point where you’re stable, safe, and pain-free once again!

We know that’s not really a good answer, especially if not knowing who is fronting is seriously bothering you. But please remember that the safety of your system and your own survival is more important than anything else, including knowing who’s fronting!

We do really love this article by Kella Hanna-Wayne on the ways their system figures out who’s in front:

Some of their suggestions could easily be done even when overwhelmed, like looking over a list of headmate names, thinking about what you want to do, or listening to different kinds of music! :3

We want to reassure you that blurriness likely will not last forever! So even if these tips don’t help and you still feel blurry afterwards, we hope you can find the strength to wait it out in the hopes that, as you recover, you may gain some more clarity about who you are.

Gosh, we really hope y’all start to feel better soon! We really don’t think that all your hard work and efforts will go to waste. Progress is not linear and just because y’all feel like you’ve been set back doesn’t mean that any of your accomplishments are undone!! Please try to get some rest and remember!! Your health should come first always!! >w<

[youarebeingshaggedbyarareparrot]

Worse things happen at sea: Art in the Paris 2024 Olympic Opening Ceremony

So everyone has been sounding off about the Paris' Olympic Opening Ceremony. Mainly about the supposed 'insult to Christians everywhere' with the recreation of Di Vinci's 'The Last Supper'.

(I'd like to go on the record that 1. you pose any group of folk in a line facing the viewer with a barrier at hip height and it's gonna look a little 'The Last Supper'-y, 2. clearly the hand wringers had forgotten that the artist was Di Vinci. The man would be pointing and laughing at them and be living it up on that bridge between Nicky Doll and DJ Butch, and 3. Da Vinci painted enough portraits of Bacchus, he would have known what's up.)

Anyway, a lot of art was incorporated and celebrated but there's one piece that did featured that had me performing a mental emergency stop and NO ONE ELSE is talking about it so I need to know I wasn't the only one to spot this.

So, opening ceremony, we're following our mysterious torch bearer as they race through the the Louvre to the strains of 'Danse macabre', (French composer Camille Saint-Saëns). The eyes of the paintings occupants follow their progress until we see frames with empty back drops, the paintings' subjects having come alive to watch the festivities from the windows. But the last empty frame... my people...

Our mystery guide stands in front of this for nearly 3 seconds, at the 1hr 42min 11sec mark in the BBC coverage. Now, I can't make out the plaque at the bottom of the frame, but I am prepared to place good money that this is Théodore Géricault's 'Le Radeau de la Méduse', or 'The Raft of the Medusa'.

Completed in 1819, this piece is considered the best work of its' French artist and an icon of the French Romanticism movement. It's chuffing huge, over 16ft by 23ft, and it is stunning.

It also depicts one of the worst events in French maritime history.

In June of 1816, the French frigate The Medusa left France for Senegal on the west coast of Africa. At her helm was a captain who had not sailed in 20 odd years and got the post through connections and political clout. And he fucked it up royally. The Medusa drifted 100 miles off course and ran aground off Mauritania. After 3 days of failing to shift the boat, the 400 or so people aboard has choices to make. They were 30 miles from land and there were 6 boats, room for 250 people. Some stayed aboard the stranded vessel but at least 146 men and one woman boarded a jerry-rigged raft. The plan was for it to be towed by some of the boats, but after only a few miles it was turned loose.

For 13 days, exposure, mutiny, disease, dehydration and starvation ravaged the survivors, whittling nearly 150 down to 15. It was in my fact checking for this that I learnt the lovely little term ‘a custom of the sea’. In layman’s terms, cannibalising your crew mates to survive. They were spotted by chance, no search effort had been made by the French. A further 5 died in the days following rescue. British naval officers helped the survivors to return to France because aid from the French government didn’t appear and the captain, who had made it to land fine, was more interested in recovering the gold on board the Medusa. He was court marshalled and should have been executed, but in the end served 3 years in prison. He was the inciting incident for a law to passed that ensured that promotions in the French military would thereafter be based on merit.

Now all this came hurtling into my head because I remember reading a book called 'Severed' by Frances Larson, all about the cultural and historical fascination with decapitation. There's a section in the chapter of severed heads in art about how Géricault went hard on the research for this painting; visited morgues and hospitals, brought home specimens to watch decay rate, y'know, stuff that absolutely wouldn't blow your safety deposit. But yeah, I'm there with dawning horror and ice in my blood as we look at a very French painting, of a French maritime tragedy, brought about by the hubris and arrogance and incompetence of the higher ups who had no right being there, where comrades and crew turn on each other in a horrific fight for survival, with the spooky dancing bones classical piece playing in the background...

And not 20 seconds later we are rejoining the action of the flotilla on the Seine, 'Fraternité' writ large over the boat with Cyprus, Columbia and Comoros waving excitedly and soggily at us.

Thomas Jolly, opening ceremony artistic director, I need to buy you a drink and we need to chat. I need to study you. I have been turning this over in my brain for a week, what are you trying to say?! Was I the only one to hear it?!