#i'm not so paranoid as to think he legit doesn't like me but i do think he's got the emotional awareness of a gnat

[existentialflirt]

Okay, I've decided I need to make some new icons. That always helps me get out of a tumblr rp wriitng funk because then I'm like :)))) Time to show off my hard work :)))))))))))))))) Trying to decide if I want to ruin my Pinterest dash and make a Buffy pin board for icons. Idek....I'm pretty content with it being currently mostly GOmens fanart and David Tennent thirst. I'm a simple creature. Maybe I'll make a second account for Buffy pins. I'm honestly just so scared of the inevitable bad take machine.

(As you all prolly know, Pinterest became thievery central when they changed something about it ages ago. I can't remember anymore, only that it was suddenly mostly imbedded links. Anyway, even before that, it was 50% meme and fandom meta screen shots from tumblr, and that hadn't changed. Lord though, fandom makes me feel so old. It's like, if I didn't think I'd end up cringing out of my skin, I'd pop onto my og dreamwidth account. Not for the DW content, no no no, it's gets so much worse. When I switched over from LJ, I imported my blog there too, so there's also ancient stuff that makes me both happy and kinda wanna vomit. You know, it's nice to see that kinda thing be preserved but also oh god, oh no. My point is, in my typical roundabout way, has fandom changed and lost its sense of literacy and humour, or was I also taking the funny bits of a story and spinning it into incredible grimdark head canon I'M LOOKING AT YOU GOOD OMENS FANDOM JFC CROWLEY PSYCHOLOGICALLY TORTURES PLANTS BECAUSE IT'S FUCKING FUNNY. IT'S NOT ANY DEEPER THAN THAT UNLESS YOU WANNA SAY THAT IT'S EMBLEMATIC THAT CROWLEY IS A SHIT DEMON. HE'S AT HIS MOST TERRIFYING WHEN HE'S BULLYING PLANTS. FUCKING PLANTS. Ahem. Sorry.)

[mixelation]

i've been debating what to do with deidara in reborn au, because i need to give him more but also i don't want to just repeat beats from homemade dynamite

so i was thinking: well, obviously he's doing something with art. and in homemade dynamite, his thing with art is that he's trying to carve his way to true artistic freedom. being a missing-nin means people will always be trying to hunt him down, but being in konoha means he has to dodge around rules and limitations. so his deal with itachi is that itachi will help him leave konoha in a legit way where he's not constantly fighting off hunter-nin, but until then he's trying to figure out what he can do within the village. i could totally give him the exact same goal in mutagenicity, and i don't really have anything against rehashing the same plots/headcanons (look at my 17 AUs about genin karin being kidnapped for her own good), but this doesn't really appeal to me.

then i thought: what if it' the opposite? what if deidara is like, "i want to experiment with a technique that will blow up a whole village" and minato is like, "rad, give me a couple days to find you a space. what do you need?" deidara blows up a bandit's head and kushina tells him she likes his art. they both go :/ at him when he damages village property but then their reactions are "oh, so you need a better outlet.... here, i can find you a mission--"

i think this would actually drive deidara insane in a way he wouldn't even know how to recognize. tori gets paranoid about having supportive mentors because in her past "sudden interest from the boss" means "boss might vivisect you" or "boss might decide you know too much and should die/do something insane." deidara just straight up doesn't know what to do with support. his art (in this au) was crafted as very reactionary-- his interest is in ripping apart the status quo and showing people nothing can last forever and they don't have as much control over deidara the world as they think. it's about disrupting structures and authority. what the FUCK is he supposed to do with actual support???

but also i don't think deidara has fully recognized his antiauthoritarianism as a motivator in his art because he's never been in a situation where it was absent. so when he suddenly doesn't have real issues with the biggest authorities in his life, he losses inspiration, and he doesn't know why.

and then he thinks about leaving konoha because clearly something about it is fucking with his head but, actually, kushina fills out forms to get him free clay and lets him pick missions where he gets to blow stuff up and minato lets him have a training ground to do whatever he wants, and he has his own bed and isn't living as a feral forest child, and he would be insane to leave.

so maybe we DO let tori have a C-rank go wrong because sasori interferes and she comes home and tells deidara about it and he loses his mind. he wants to see sasori because he needs another artist. he needs advice. how fucking dare sasori go after tori.

tori, trying to de-escalate: well i think he only talked to me because i was at the border and there was only one other person with me. it was just more convenient

deidara: YOU'RE NOT EVEN AN ARTIST

anyway maybe we then KEEP team 4 having a c rank go hilariously wrong because deidara gets a whiff sasori is in the area and runs off. other things go wrong that don't have anything to do with sasori but because deidara has involved him, the things are now also going wrong AT sasori

sasori: WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING

deidara: DANNAAAAA I'M HAVING AN ART BLOOOOOCK

and sasori tells him he's stupid and immature and deidara from then forward has to do some serious Self Reflection to figure out his ~art~. and he keeps looking up sasori even though sasori toLD HIM TO LEAVE HIM ALONE

kushina post mission: yeah wheat village tried to make a move for the sharingan but we managed it. sasori of the red sand was.... there....? idek he didn't really help but also he didn't NOT help

minato: what the hell is wheat village

kushina: doesn't matter because it doesn't exist anymore

also im playing with the idea of a deidara-minato vaguely student-mentor relationship (not for technique stuff, per se, but life/career stuff) because Jokes About Being His Bastard Son and also i like the idea of iwa's boogeyman helping iwa's #1 missing-nin

[flower-boi16]

Hey, it's me, the rewrite anon.

Soooo, I just watched HH since my classmates kinda told me it'll be a lot better........ And after episode 5, I have some issues....

WHAT HAVE THEY DONE TO LUCIFER????????? LEGIT THEY DESTROYED HIS FUCKING CHARACTER AND MADE HIM THIS SYMPHATETIC DAD WITH TRUST ISSUES?????????? LIKE HUH?????????? SO YOU'RE TELLING ME THAT THIS IS THE KING OF HELL??????????!!!!!!!!!! DUDE COULDN'T EVEN SEEM TO CONTROL HIS PHONE, LET ALONE ALL OF HELL! LIKE HOLY SHIT, I'VE NEVER LOST INTEREST SO FUCKING QUICK BEFORE. LIKE I GET IT, HE'S DEPRESSED SINCE HIS DIVORCE OR WHATEVER THE FUCK HAPPENED TO HIM, BUT STILL! HE SHOULD'VE HAD THAT PRIDEFUL AND ROYAL AIR TO HIM, AT LEAST WHEN HE'S AROUND OTHER PEOPLE BUT NO! JUST LIKE STOLAS, THEY TURNED LUCIFER INTO THIS SYMPHATETIC SOFTBOI WITHOUT ANY CHARM OR PERSONALITY WHAT THE FUCK?! HELL, PARANOID DJ'S DEPICTION OF LUCIFER WAS SO MUCH BETTER, LIKE IN THE SONG CHANGE THE ORDER LUCIFER WHILE COCKY ACTUALLY FEELS LIKE AN INTIMIDATING AND POWERFUL CHARACTER!

Second of all, the way they showed Alastor and Charlie's relationship. Like, I admin, it is really fun to see them have that found family bond, but there's one big issue...... WE BARELY SAW HOW THE RELATIONSHIP PROGRESSED! LIKE, IF YOU WANT THEM TO HAVE THAT KIND OF RELATIONSHIP, WHY CAN'T VIV JUST BE PATIENT AND TAKE THE TIME TO ACTUALLY FUCKING DEVELOP THE RELATIONSHIP ON SCREEN. WE BARELY SEE CHARLIE AND ALASTOR INTERACT MUCH BEFORE AND SUDDENLY THEY'RE LIKE FATHER AND DAUGHTER????????? THE FUCKING HELL, IS IT SO FUCKING HARD FOR VIV TO JUST BE PATIENT AND SLOWLY BUILD THINGS UP????!!!!!!! PLUS, I THINK ALASTOR EVEN SWEARS IN THE EPISODE???? WHILE IT IS IN CHARACTER FOR ALASTOR TO DO SO WHEN HE'S REALLY PISSED...... THE FUCKING ARGUMENT WITH LUCIFER SHOULDN'T BE THAT FRUSTRATING FOR HIM???? ISTG, IT FEELS LIKE THE FANDOM HAS A BETTER UNDERSTANDING OF THE CHARACTERS BETTER THAN VIV HERSELF!

Honestly, it's probably due to the number of episodes that cause this many plotholes. If we simply increased the number to 12 or 14, we would've gotten more time to develop shit.

Lord, I'm never listening to my classmates ever again.

100% agree. I think the issue is that the show doesn't have enough episodes to tell its story. Eight episodes clearly isn't enough as a lot of things feel underdeveloped, rushed, and poorly structured in the show. Take the mystery of what happened to that angel for instance; this plotline is barely allowed anytime to linger and is just resolved in episode fucking 3. Then there are the characters, and a common problem seems to be how the show just introduces characters and expects us to instantly care about them, when we've barely got to know or see them.

If the show had more episodes, we would have more of a reason to actually CARE about these guys since we would have seen them more. And if the show had more episodes, it could develop its characters and the relationships between them. That's the core thing that holds HH back to me; it doesn't have much time to tell its story. The show should've had at least 20 episodes imo, because then it would have more time to tell it's story and the issues I just mentioned woulden't exist.

[ikamigami]

So what if I told y'all that this is actually a "Moon's paranoia" arc? And what if showrunners hint that Sun will try to help or reach out to Eclipse behind Moon's back.. and they hint that with Moon's words that he trust Sun?

Cause let me tell you something. I've watched many shows and movies to know that this line reminds me of that type of foreshadowing in which one character says "we'll meet again" but they never had the chance to meet again because that other character dies. You know what I mean, right?

So with Moon saying that he trusts Sun - it's not the first time when he says that btw cause he told Earth that he trusts Sun with his life - and Moon being more and more paranoid, I have a heavy suspicion that Moon will stop trusting even Sun..

But ofc it won't be like that that Moon will abandon Sun or anything like that.. He most definitely will be mad at Sun.. but I think that this is what may lead to Moon locking Sun on the island..

Moon really acts paranoid. Some of you may not believe me but what Moon is doing is something that paranoid person would do. What I mean is that Moon devides what informations he shares with whom. No one receives full picture. Only Moon holds all the cards all the time.

Cause look at what he did. He decided to not tell any info to Solar at the moment, right? He did the same thing with not telling anything to Sun and Lunar before. But he eventually told them everything, right? Yes and this is another thing that hints to Moon being paranoid.. because he is the one who always shares things with others. It let's him feel in control of situation.

"Everything is fine as long as I keep my finger on the pulse"..

Getting back to Moon locking Sun on the island. Moon would obviously think that this would be the best for Sun. To keep Sun safe. Even from Sun himself.. or maybe especially from Sun himself.. because remember what I wrote in this post !

I think that everything is adding up nicely. Like many people were wondering about the purpose of Evil Sun's appearance in the show, thinking that maybe he's behind Eclipse's return. But it doesn't make any sense because E Sun doesn't have any agenda to meddle with our dimension. There weren't given any hints that our dimension has anything to offer to E Sun (yet, obvi lol)..

That's why I think that they made Moon go there so he could get paranoid for legit reasons and not out of the blue. Also it's important to do a good build up for rising paranoia in character for it to be more believable..

And most of the time paranoia is piling up before it'll reach a critical point when person snaps and starts doing things that endangers their and their family lives. It never starts right off the bat..

Paranoia is no joke. It messes with your mind badly.. especially if you feed your paranoid thoughts!

I'm saying that from personal experiences. I'm still struggling with paranoid thoughts. Who's read that one post of mine then knows what I'm talking about 😅

Also it might be actually just like @nightixx (hope you don't mind that I tagged you) said in one of their posts that Moon is probably realising to what lengths Sun is willing to go to protect his family. Maybe Moon actually sees that Sun can and would probably put himself in danger in order to keep his family safe. And maybe Moon actually suspect Sun to act behind his back and maybe even he may suspect that Sun may try to give Eclipse a chance just like he did with BM.

Cause Moon isn't stupid. He might not be the best with reading emotions etc but I won't doubt that he is quite observant. Like even Old Moon was noticing that something was wrong with Sun but unfortunately he didn't do much to help.

I think that New Moon is probably noticing that something is wrong with Sun as well. But unlike Old Moon he'll do something about it. He'll keep Sun safe no matter what. And why I think that Moon may be suspecting that Sun may try to give Eclipse a chance? Because I think that in Moon's eyes Sun is too nice, too naive, too stupid - he learned that in Ruin's dimension when Sun wanted to help that dimension so badly and he learned that with how Sun tried to give BM a chance.. Both of these situations were dangerous and yet Sun was willing to help and act on his kindness even if it meant endangering himself.. Moon sees that. I think that Moon realises that Sun is the biggest threat to himself...

Also I think that it's very possible that Moon may suspect that Sun will act behind his back because Sun already lied to him about that whole being a conduit for star's power thing which like Moon said was killing Sun every day..

And important thing to note is that paranoia may induce a hypervigilance in someone. Which explains why someone who is paranoid plans things in advance and with suspicion that others will break their trust.

Old Moon was paranoid af.. and we can see that New Moon starts becoming more and more paranoid as well...

But like I said it'll most definitely end up with Moon restricting Sun's freedom in order to prevent him from endangering himself. Which I'm afraid will lead to a tragedy.

[yellowocaballero]

man, reading ch3 was a ride, it's like all fun and jokes and then all of sudden, Nope! It's time to be sad now! but it's so good with it? like, I really enjoyed how seriously you took it, and that moment in the classroom was really like 'oh shit this is legit' in a way that had my heart just sinking in my chest and with the tone whiplash from the rest of the fic so far, it was just literally so good to read. also, seeing byleth and the rest of the class just kinda grapple with wth to do with dimitri while he's deep in this episode is just very interesting, especially when they all have their own hangups and issues with everything. 👍

YESSSSS. I'm always so excited to post the moment the story actually kicks into gear, and this chapter was it for Weekenders. A lot of fun.

I wrote a post a while back about people's discomfort with writing severe mental illness,

and while I wouldn't say Weekenders is a spite fic, it was influenced by how difficult it was to find non-modern AU fic that wrote Dimitri specifically as somebody on the schizophrenia spectrum/bipolar.

It was so hit-me-over-the-head obvious while I was playing! His entire personality and behavior flipped on a DIME in Part 1, and it flipped 'back' in Part 2. He couldn't switch topics, he was ranting incoherently, he was having headaches, he was doing nothing but training, he obviously wasn't sleeping or grooming, he was convinced a 12yo had orchestrated an assasination - that's not depression/anxiety/PTSD, and it's not even just a psychotic episode (mania does have elements of psychosis, hence the paranoid delusions). And, obviously, the actual hallucinations, delusions, antisocialness, lack of grooming, impulsivity, etc, of Part 2 that rang very loudly of a schizophrenic/schizoaffective psychotic break.

But equally important is the fact that Dimitri's illness did not make him hateful and homicidal. Dimitri was always a hateful person. I don't think he's naturally hateful nearly to the degree that he shows while having an episode, but one of the most important lines in the BL route is when Dedue just says that Dimitri was always angry and hateful, and that he just hid it. His behavior in late Part 1/part 2 is him losing all capability to hide it. I don't think he's a pathological liar, and I don't think the Dimitri we see throughout Part 1 is 'fake' - I just think he withholds a lot. Dimitri's cruelty is just as important as his generosity. His hatred is as important as his empathy. The horrible sides of his illness are just as important as the comfortable sides. Do you see what I mean?

That is what interests me about Dimitri so much. Dimitri wants to be Marth. Dimitri tries to be Chrom. Dimitri dresses up like Roy. He is not. He is an angry, paranoid, brutal murderer. Any depiction of Dimitri that forgets that - that unironically only protrays the Dimitri that he shows the world and never the sides of him that he's ashamed of - is kinda buying what he's selling, and it both demonstrates a deep disinterest in who he is and a discomfort with the sides of his illness that aren't palatable.

Dimitri's psychosis did not make him hateful (I think his PTSD had a lot more to do with his anger problems). It made him scared. Mania and psychosis are a very, very scary experience. His mind is constantly telling him that he's in danger, that Byleth's in danger, that everybody and everything around him wants to hurt and kill him, that he is a sinner if he doesn't avenge his dead family. And Dimitri is a good child soldier, and he knows that we destroy our enemies with prejudice. He's a good leader, and he knows that the BL are never safe and that their enemies are everywhere. He's a good son, and he knows that you have to avenge them. Violence solves problems and Dimitri is scared and angry and if he doesn't solve the problem he can't protect the woman and people he loves.

This is serious to me! I'm trying not to make this THAT long but I could go ooooon lol. I understanding wanting to either make him realistically/explicitly schizophrenic OR make him violent, because violent schizophrenics are a bad and harmful stereotype. But I think both sides of him are important, because I don't want to whitewash Dimitri's illness or his experiences. It's scary for the people around you. It very frequenty is triggered from trauma and hardship and it is informed by your life. Like many characters in FE3H, Dimitri is the product of the evils of his world.

Byleth's arc in this story is about her growing into a human being. It is shown as a beautiful thing. It is wonderful to be a person. It would contradict the message of the story to show Dimitri as anything else but a human being - flaws, traumas, SMI and all. He was Marth to her. That's the point.

I went on for soooo long lol but thanks for the ask!

[justgothamcitythings]

Supervillains ranked by how much they piss off the locals

Because I promised Lenny I'd do this. Hi, Lenny. You can gripe about my ranking system here.

THE JOKER Mass chaos, hysteria, disrupted public transit, and distrusting anything that comes out of the harbor for the next six weeks are signs of a Joker caper. Even with the city's expertise in undoing his shenanigans, he always makes for several days of royal-pain-in-the-ass-ness. Only gains points because he isn't a freaky bigot and doesn't target the average joe most of the time. (EDIT: I do specify MOST of the time. I am not about to apologize for the shit he does when he decides it'd be hilarious to mutate all the fish in Gotham harbor or worse.) 9/10, if you give any Gothamite a crowbar we will threaten to cave in this shit's knees.

OZZIE COBBLEPOT No I'm not using his other name, it's disrespectful. Ozzie's fine. He's a mafioso, but he isn't a drug pusher or pimp. By all accounts he's one of the old guard, and... y'know what? Good on him. Not openly murderous, he might clear out a warehouse you're working at but he won't shoot you in the face. 1/10, I eat at the Iceberg Lounge like once a year with no guilt.

KILLER CROC No he didn't eat your Cousin Maury, you don't have a Cousin Maury. 2/10, he makes people who read tabloids paranoid but we never see the guy.

CATWOMAN Just an art thief with a sense of style, not a supervillain. N/A.

THE RIDDLER Way less disruptive than the Joker most of the time but way more annoying just because when you find out about how everything unraveled five days later you kick yourself and scream "SUNNUVABITCH WHY DIDN'T I GET THAT?!", also occasionally messes with stuff in public and that can get messy. Still, he won't kill you on purpose and he kinda sneers at the idea of killing people in general? Like, if it wasn't for whatever's going on with his villainy obsession I'd think that he'd be a killer detective? I dunno, that might just be me. 4/10, would still probably hench for him maybe?

POISON IVY ...she's right. 2/10, only `cause sometimes Sheldon Park or the Botanical Gardens get closed after one of her capers and those are both legit awesome places to relax.

TWO-FACE Scarier than a lot of these fucks because he will deliberately kill someone at the drop of a hat. Has no fear of getting caught, has no aversion to disrupting everything. If anything, just makes you aware of areas that have an obvious theme of duality so you can avoid the hell out of them. In Japan, 4 is unlucky. In Gotham it's 2. 7/10, and I'm picking an odd number there just in case he's reading this.

MR FREEZE Much like Eddie Nygma, Fries won't deliberately kill you, but you very well might get a case of hypothermia if you're near one of his capers. On the downside you WILL need to redirect around anyplace he's been because, y'know, giant blocks of ice. On the upside, "Mr. Freeze just left a wall of ice between North and South Gotham" is usually a legit excuse to be late or miss work. 5/10.

SCARECROW 500,000/10. No commentary needed.

[a-student-out-of-time]

I know it's been awhile, but if the Arei/J thing is true, Levi is a prime suspect because of the chapter 1 FTE video. In the top 20 most voted pairing, J and Levi got 8th place, despite them not interacting with each in the first chapter from what I can remember. Almost every other pairing on that list either had some interaction, even if it was small, or something like Ace/Arei who were both bullies. Me thinks people on the team may have wanted to give the chapter 2 deaths some spotlight.

//I know people are probably tired of me talking about this...but I'm gonna do it again.

//I want to ask a genuine question: let's say you're right and Levi is the killer. I've seen a lot of people who are thoroughly convinced it's him and even patting themselves on the back over it, thinking they've got it all figured out. But are you happy with that?

//Let's say that's the scenario. Arei, who wanted to be a good person, went to Levi about her secret. Levi, who's tried to be a good person but still has a dark streak to his personality, doesn't know she's trying to turn over a new leaf and thus either kills her in a fit of rage or knocks her out and sets up the death contraption, both of which he could do because he's strong.

//Okay, but as an explanation, doesn't that just feel...predictable? Unsatisfying? Even flat-out boring?

//In fact, not only is it all three of those to me, it completely undercuts the messages and themes of Despair Time itself. Something that I feel a lot of people continue to miss entirely.

//Despair Time Chapter 2 has, in large part, been about the importance of building and rebuilding trust. Not only has Teruko been the centerpiece of so many discussions about why her paranoid distrust of everyone is unhelpful, but Ace has constantly been antagonizing and mistrusting Levi after that outburst in the first trial.

//If you're saying Levi is the killer, you're effectively saying Ace is right. You're saying that every paranoid accusation that Levi was waiting to kill him or someone else was accurate, and that in turn, you're also saying Teruko was right for not trusting anyone.

//Except the game is trying to tell us that trusting nobody is just as dangerous as trusting everybody. That's a key theme in everything going on here, and having a killing that undermines that feels out of place.

//Furthermore, another thing to consider is this: wouldn't it be far more knife-twisting and tragic for them to make Arei an active part of this chapter, and we get to see her desire to change, then leads to her death? Instead, she only gets a handful of scenes here and there, one of the big ones in a flashback with Eden.

//They were good scenes, don't get me wrong, but if they wanted us to feel like she was raising legit death flags, there should've been more focus on her, not less. Instead, she practically vanishes after the playground scene and apparently then turns up dead. And with all that's gone on so far, I believe it was by design. Arei dying like this also makes no sense otherwise.

//This is why I still stick to my switch theory. Not only does it fit with themes of the story, but Levi, being the Ultimate Personal Stylist, is the perfect person to make them look similar enough that nobody would notice.

//So no, I don't think Levi is the killer. It's the most predictable and played-out explanation one could go with, and with as high production value as DT has had, I absolutely cannot believe they'd go that route. There's far more going on here than we realize.

[featheredcritter]

please for the love of god talk about your guy im paranoid about being annoying but i feel like i should still tell you that i am in a constant state of rotating him in my mind and u r a legit inspiration

waughh!!! thank you so much!!! ;_; this means the world to me really, and don't worry! it's not annoying at all! i just want to apologize for the late answer i didn't quite know specifically what to talk about because with my characters they're just spinning in my head with no cohearant thought following suit. A few facts about him the under the cut. Sorry again

prolonged isolation can cause hallucinations to people, so among all other issues Nick does hallucinate, but before i do much with it i want to research the topic more to represent it correctly and respectfully.

Nick's knife is a hunting\butterfly knife hybrid.

Nick (and his species) has the tapetum lucidum, so his eyes shine! can be a little spooky to see in the dark.

I enjoy thinking about Nick once he's no longer afraid of humans and instead seeing them as allies. He'd be a great asset for the resistance, while he has plenty to learn he's a very smart man and a good scientist. He'd be great at fixing up small things in machines because he can get in it and has very small hands.

Humans have always been like uncanny valley to him. They are very similiar and yet Nick sees them as creepy, weird or downright gross. One second away from throwing up when he first got picked up.

Despite healing well from the damange Lamarr caused him, he still has cronic pain because of it in his torso.

Nicholas is an avid writer, and his most precious book is a sort of "diary" where he writes all that is known about his species+ his own experiences as some sort of evidence of their existence once he dies and (as he belives, but not true) his species is finally gone.

Even in a safe, enclosed space Nick will always have his back against something and be standing in a position that allows him to view the entirety of his surroundings and have at least one escape route, plus he hates being in big open spaces. He's a little prey animal and he gets spooked so often for the smallest thing really, it doesn't help he's a fairly nervous man already.

His bites cause some very annoying itchiness, so the potential guy that tried to catch him will keep scratching at the wound and make it worse. It's not very dangerous and you can fix it so easily, but it can cause infections if left untreated.

He does not trust vortigaunts just like he does not trust humans, as they are allies, and anything that sides with humans is no good, but i think he'd be a lot more sympathetic towards them if he knew what they went through. Fortunately he learns about the whole combine invasion once he no longer hates humans, but had he known prior i don't think he would have felt that bad for them. It's ok tho they all become besties in the end :)

Nicholas is not a physical person, despite enjoying quite a lot physical contact at first once he loses his fear due of the fact he'd been alone for twenty whole years, so he kinda missed the physical contact. The period doesn't last forever, however, but he still doesn't mind it from time to time.

Nick speaks so fast and he's always eating his words, stuttering and cracking and rambling. I've mentioned it again but i'm saying it again, he sounds like Doug Rattmann

If people say some weird shit about him because of his size like "OMG you're soso cute ^_^" he'll look at them dead faced and completely silent to make them feel awkward and uncomfortable over what they said and make them apologize.

[until-i-devour-you]

A little vent post, cuz this is a vent blog, after all.

I'm always thinking I'm faking it for attention.

It doesn't matter what "it" is.

It doesn't matter if I have all the evidence and reasons for "it" to be legit.

There are a few examples I'm getting paranoid about, lately.

I have the suspect of being autistic. I started suspecting it a couple of years ago, I have tons of signs of autism in every aspect of my Life. I talked about it with an handful of trusted people, two of them were recently able to get a professional diagnosis, and always told me I'm one of the few people who understands their sensory issues or certain ways of thinking. One of them actually decided to take the occasion to get diagnosed cuz they thought I already had one, and they thought that maybe they're autistic too. They are. I'm not telling about it to whoever will listen, I believe in self diagnosis but I highly doubt myself because I don't have the money for an official one and I don't want to end up fooling myself because I obsess over things, but what if I'm faking it for attention?

I'm a trans man. I never felt like a girl. A post on Tumblr about Marilyn Manson made me discover the word "transexual" and I finally understood who I am. I was 17 at the time, now I'm 26. I'm trans, I know it, and for safety reasons only my family and my friends know about it, irl. But what if I'm faking it for attention?

I'm punk. DIY is basically what I live for, I'm actively avoiding Amazon and other services like that as much as I can - I have to make exceptions for my special needs pets' sake, since the stupid city I live into doesn't even have a pet store, let alone specific things I need for my pets -, I've always trying to support small business even by just talking about them with my friends if I can't buy, I have the main punk values, I listen to the music. I try to inform others about the crimes big corporations are doing - don't get me started on Nestle -, and I actively try to help others. Only a year ago I started dressing punk, with my lil' thrifted clothes I'm having fun painting and modifying, but heh, I didn't have the opportunity to do this sooner. Then, Across The Spider-Verse came out and I'm happy people remember once again about Hobie's existence, yeah, I love him, but he's making me doubt if I'm really punk, because what if I'm faking it for attention?

I'm pagan. I work with Loki, Hel and Fenrir. I used to work with Thor too, before starting to work with Hel. I truly believe in them, I've always felt close to Norse Paganism since I was a toddler, always reading about it, always fascinated by it. Learning runes felt so natural, I always use them to write in my diary and there's nothing that brings me more inner peace than meditating and working with the Deities I worship. It's not something I yell around, it's something personal, private, and despite having this piece of information on some accounts' bio, I talk about it only if people ask, but what if I'm faking it for attention?

Am I really myself?

Do I really think what I think? Do I really feel what I feel?

Am I really the person others know?

Do I really believe in what I believe? Do I really care about what I care?

What if I'm faking it for attention?

[dragonshoard]

I just realised that I should have put my response, to you, from my last Crystal Friends AU ask here rather than as a reblog.

Please excuse me copying and pasting my reblog here, I hope you don't find me too annoying 😅😓

Sooo the deal with the bees🐝 is that Powder makes them as both a test of her ability to make something other than explosives (you know besides the Brackern-Bots, spoiler she still makes some of the bees explosive but it's more of a small explosion designed for breaking locks and drawing attention elsewhere) and as a way of pollinating plants.

She read in a book about insects (this is where she got the idea for the Brackern-Bot designs) that bees where essential for plant life and sought to replicate this through artificial bees, this got her a lot of brownie points with Silco because if successful then Zaun could grow its own emergency supply of food through greenhouses.

👉👈 I may have put a lot of thought into this idea 😅😅

Also in regards to the Spider!Brackern, known as Bella (some of the Brackerns have hard to pronounce names, so Powder nicknames them), Powder realises that Vi is constantly getting scared by Bella sneaking up on her so she attaches bells to Bella (because she's adorable like that) but all she really accomplishes is making Vi paranoid whenever she hears jingling; as if Bella were an evil Santa 😂😂😂

You make a good point about Powder not being able to just steal Namestones 😭 the best bet she would have is to convince Jayce and Viktor that the crystals are sentient, but the question is how?

And about the hivemind, Powder isn't like uploaded to it she's more like a guest with privaleges. She can only really hear the Brackern within a certain distance, after the incident where she heard and felt that Namestone die the others started putting blocks on what she experienced through the link; they hadn't taken into consideration that Powder was both human and too young to grasp what death felt like, they spent countless nights trying to heal her mind with peaceful dreams and teaching her how to healthily accept loss and grief afterwards.

Down the line when Skarner arrives Powder is gifted a shard that will always give her a line of communication to the Brackern, so that she'll always have a connection to them; but yeah, long story short, she's not actually part of the hivemind.

In regards to what the Namestones are capable of, besides entering Powder's dreams, they can emit small bursts of electricity and levitate people and objects but only for a short time.

Also Vi and Sevika totally duke it out whenever they see each other, Silco also makes her (Sevika) train Powder because he doesn't trust Vander to cover her training; not realising that Vander and Vi do train her, so she's got three brawlers teaching her how to fight and Caitlyn giving her pointers on shooting when they compete in their little competitions (their very competitive with each other).

I'm really enjoying coming up with more concepts for this AU 😄 thank you for entertaining me and giving me feedback 🙂❤️❤️

Side note: this wasn't mentioned in my original reblog, but the deal Silco and Vander have is that Silco and the Chem Barons won't bother The Lanes, as long as Vander stays neutral; Silco mostly agrees to this deal because neutral grounds are safer for Powder, he says that she's a valuable asset but it's really because he's fond of her even if he won't admit that to anyone.

eyyyyyyyyyyy

I don't mind you sending it my way :D (honestly might be better to post on your blog and tag me - it would give you more space i think).

I still love that she got attached to the bee shape xD Like, of all the things, she chose BEES (firelights would've been more obvious, but i can see Powder coming across a bumblebee in a book and being like - THAT IS SO CUTE I HAVE TO MAKE IT).

Pollination robots are actually used in real life, so that IS a legit idea to improve Zaun as, likely, many of their vital insects and animals have died off due to the toxins. You gotta admit that the greenhouses can be pretty pricy with consistent lighting. I do LOVE the idea though, because Zaun is the city of Iron and Glass, and the idea of the glass coming from the greenhouses (in various shapes and forms - possibly doubling as shelters in the winter time)?? I love love love.

hmmm I mean, i don't think convincing Viktor and Jayce that the crystals are sentient would be too difficult. I can see Jayce having a harder time with it though. For him, it would be a moral dilemma (I couldn't be hurting sentient beings all this time - that isn't me i can't).

The brackern putting blocks on what she can reasonably hear is legit necessary. I imagine it's probably an ability they have reserved for younglings of their species?

Bellaaaaaaaaa nooOO (I love you but stop scaring Vi i can't xDDD)

awww at least they have no plans of cutting her off.

ye of course :) I'm glad to hear them!

(And Silco is a damn sweetheart in this AU - morally bankrupt, but a sweetheart noneoftheless)

[bisluthq]

Taylor: media exposure and coverage make me uncomfortable, led to ED, anxiety. I happy being private

Anons: she is paranoid. She doesn't post anything. We don't care if she doesn't like it. It's her job

Taylor: I'm happy with Joe. He makes me feel good and sexy in everything I wear

Joe: I'm in a happy monogamous relationship.

Anons: they look miserable. They hate each other

Fml..they are legit walking examples of damned if they do damned if they don't.they can't win with these anons..but they keep winning irl so 🤷‍♀️

I swear Taylor is better off social media..

I think Taylor said it really nicely in Miss Americana like going off socials has helped her find happiness on her own terms and not look for validation as much and that’s like really healthy imo. She obviously still likes validation/adoration for her music but not for her friends or relationship or life.

[belphegorbillickin]

Honestly, I love Mammon but I'm sick of his sweetness. I see him EVERYWHERE, and it's like the others don't exist. I like it when characters lose their calm you know? Esp that time when we reject Satan's pact, I really liked how he got worked up over such a thing lmao. And of course, most of the ones who tried killing mc had stupid reasons, except for Lucifer imo, but since when did demons make sense?

Alright, sure, they can still be sweet, but imagine if they ACTUALLY were dark characters. Corrupting human souls, selfish desires, blah blah. I'm not saying they can't love mc, ofc they can be sweet and lovable, but that doesn't mean they'd lose their normal habits and quirks. You cannot differentiate between them and normal humans now. The traits that would portray them as demons isn't there.

And perhaps yes, routes would've been fun. Right/wrong answers? Seems legit lmao. But like you said, the characters could've been done so much better.

I liked them at the start, now that I think of it asmo was never really what he seemed to be at the start, but in the recent events to me, at least, he's all but that. Diavolo, Barbatos, they have potential to be dark characters lmao. Asmo too, esp abt Helene, he sure was manipulative. Seeing Satan just be about cats/books upsets me bcuz he's one of my favs, and like you said, I feel he could've been a MUCH better character, plus idk he seems like he could be dark too. Other than beel & mammon, and I really don't know about belphie since he's become pretty sweet now, I feel everyone else could be written as characters with darker, more fitting demon personalities.

Though I love how we can go on about one topic for ages lmao. Lmk if my rambles become too annoying lol – 🍹

Don't worry about it, I really enjoy talking about it and I'm the queen of rambling lol. It's actually kinda hard for me to be concise when it comes to things like this.

And yes! Satan's reaction to rejection was exactly what I was thinking about when I mentioned that. I don't doubt most of the others would've reacted the same either tbh, but the difference between his reason for wanting to kill MC and his brothers' felt very different imo.

I'm kinda repeating myself, but I think people really overlook how cold Asmo was regarding getting MC killed. In that sense I can see how they get along with each other so well. I think I huge part of that is people coming in knowing that they're all gonna love MC and MC can't die so they don't even think about threats or subtle manipulation, but he's one of the most malicious imo since it was so cool-headed and planned.

Kind of like the theories about Barbatos and/or Diavolo purposefully sending you to a traumatic death because executing Belphie would cause the brothers to revolt. (Which I believe to extent btw.) Those four stand out as a lot more demonic imo because they can't be called crimes of passion. I miss the days where they both just casually admitted to taking part in a torture dungeon.

Personally I love the idea of unavoidable demonic corruption. Like the "tragic lovers suffering from fate" trope but where the demon isn't just an innocent victim that can't control it at all and MC doesn't just take it happily without consequences.

I'm not against MC suffering the consequences of a demon boyfriend, far from it, but even if you don't go the direct route there's so many ways to do it.

Even just slowly losing your morals because all the demons (and old-ass human with some most likely odd moral quirks, if only from being alive so long in horrible times) around you treat horrible things as something as mundane as breathing. Even if they snap back at least acknowledging it is a huge step up.

I'd be terrified and paranoid 24/7 knowing everyone around me wants to literally eat me and has eaten humans before. Even if they hated the taste or something knowing they're capable of it is scary af.

Like a Beelzebub who truly doesn't mean to hurt MC but doesn't think twice about breaking their beloved pet's bones right in front of them. A Beelzebub that finds it just as hard to avoid eating humans as he did in the intro even when he knows he shouldn't harm MC's family.

Or even just a Beelzebub so wracked by guilt and light on morals that can't bring himself to not always enthusiastically take Belphie's side even when he knows it's hurting MC. A kind of parasitic relationship where Beel guilts MC into staying and helps Belphie trap & manipulate them in ways Belphie could never do by himself.

A Leviathan that finds it increasingly hard to keep his jealously inwards now that he has someone to fight for and can't feel secure unless he can feel their envy. A Belphegor that slowly manipulates MC into abandoning all of their responsibilities and friends until their life is ruined and they have to depend on him.

I get that some of them are a bit harder to do without reminding people of irl abuse they may have faced, namely Satan, Levi, Lucifer, and ofc Asmo, but there are ways to make it more supernatural and less mundane. Besides there are way, way worse otomes out there that don't even market themselves as dark like Obey Me did.

I find it interesting that so much of the fanbase absolutely hates those kind of themes when they're so hard to avoid in otome and it was kind marketed towards people who like it. Like I genuinely wonder how they heard about it and got through demons insulting & trying to kill them in the early days of Obey Me before you knew they got better.

In the end though none of that can really happen without routes imo. Those kind of storylines can't be done well in the 10 seconds of individual interaction we get, even a whole lesson is too little time. And again even people who like darker things might freak out when Asmo's the one doing it or get turned off by Levi so they won't risk their money. It's so frustrating seeing the lost potential and knowing it's probably never gonna happen.

Speaking of I always thought Mammon was pretty robbed too. Not only did he never have the same freedom to harm MC as the others, but he was also directly responsible for their safety. Like sure they'd all be punished, but you have a different mindset when an authority figure constantly makes you aware and you have more chances to bond.

I think even cannon Mammon would've been more dangerous and a lot more rude if he wasn't their babysitter. The others, except Satan & Belphie ofc, probably would've been "nicer" and more controlled knowing Lucifer was breathing down their neck too imo.

Like he does seem less violent and hot-headed than the others, but they're not the same circumstances. Even a while after the pact he'd probably sell MC in an instant if he knew he wasn't going to be severely punished.

A lot of his possessiveness feels like a dog guarding a bone rather than true jealously imo, even when they're doing it as endearing thing. People automatically assuming he was lying when he said he'd rather MC die than be saved by someone else, but was he really at that point? Just because someone is tsundere at times doesn't mean they're incapable of being honest or not that into someone.

That's also kinda what I meant by infatuation too. Like sure they could like a human, but that doesn't mean they'll be that upset when they die or will never get bored. It's kind of like those people that immediately get a new pet after theirs dies, or even before so they don't have to be without a dog for a single second. Or the kind of demon that wants to "ruin" you with their sin until you can't go on as the ultimate act of love, even though they know it'll kill you.

[theoi-crow]

This isn't an ask, but I wanted to share some Ares positivity with you! Last night, I was woken up at literally 3 in the morning and was honestly annoyed because it kept happening, but I felt suddenly compelled to do a tarot reading, so I dragged my drowsy ass out of bed and made my way over to my tarot decks. I felt a very strong masculine presence/energy that was, like, all around me; it's kind of hard to describe, but it was almost like someone was embracing me or watching very closely over my shoulder to see what I was doing. At the time, I was too tired to really recognize who it was, but looking back, it was definitely Ares lmao, which was actually really comforting because I've had very few interactions with him, despite establishing a new connection with him. It was also really comforting because when I first began worshipping him, I felt bad because I kept having nightmares where he'd be in it. It was linked directly to my trauma with father figures, so it's not like it doesn't make sense, but I always felt bad because I actually really love Ares and think he's super cool. I've heard so many good things about him and had really good experiences with him during our few previous encounters, so whenever I'd have one of those nightmares, I'd kind of bear myself up for it, since he already gets an unwarranted reputation due to his surviving myths (the more negatively framed ones, I mean).

Anyway, it was nice to have such a strong, guiding, comforting presence with me as I did my readings. I did a total of four, but I'm only gonna mention three. The first was just a free reading, letting the cards say whatever they needed to say, and basically, the person trying to communicate with me (presumably Ares lol) was telling me that I'm finally on the right track towards trauma recovery! You have no idea how big of a deal this was for me, as I've been struggling for a few years now to get on the right course, but whenever I tried focusing on recovery and on myself, another super traumatic event would occur. It was like an endless cycle, but this reading was reassuring me that the cycle has been officially broken! I legit almost cried, and if I hadn't been so sleepy, I probably would have.

The second reading was telling me that the next reading would give me information that'd help me avoid some kind of emotional/mental disaster. It said that I'll take the information I've been given and apply it, and it reassured me that I was going to be ok. It told me to trust in my Gods and my supports, which was something I needed to hear, and even suggested I'd be better off in my life moving forward. It was very positive and reassuring to hear that!

The last reading I'll mention was me asking for specific advice on a situation where a crush revealed their feelings to me, and I don't feel the same. I was feeling really conflicted because they gave me bad vibes but I thought I was just being paranoid or something and was being too harsh, since this isn't really someone I know well. Well, the first four cards straight up confirmed that my intuition was correct and that if I got into a relationship with this person, it would end very poorly for me. It told me that it'd be a new trauma for me, so obviously I wanted to avoid that. I asked how to avoid the situation, and the first few cards reassured me that I was already on the path I needed to be on to avoid this but that they just wanted to stress the importance of distancing myself from this person. It then gave me a really detailed plan of action on how to go about resolving the issue while causing the least amount of drama possible. It was so reassuring to have a plan and really made me feel protected, heard, and looked out for. I was very grateful for that reading because it made me feel so much better about the whole situation, especially because this person follows the same gods that I do. I was really scared my gods would be upset with me for not wanting to be around them.

I'm certain that Ares is the one who delivered these messages to me, and I'm honestly so happy that he did. I feel a lot more comfortable approaching him now because I was really nervous that he resented me or something for the nightmares I was having or because I owe him some offerings for his help. I'm truly so grateful that Ares woke me up at 3 am because I'd be in a lot worse of a mood if he hadn't. Area is literally the best, and I'm so happy to finally be working with and worshipping him. ❤️

That was definitively Ares!

[lordelmelloi2]

Im in such a mood today I had the hardest time falling asleep last night because I was so stressed out I was legit getting psychotic paranoid delusions of like scorpions hiding in my room and on my hallway floor and now I wake up thinking about my saddest meow meow of a husband of all time like he is just. So deeply sad. So am I but he is so deeply sad and yet.

I have no other thoughts I'm still a little crazy/at my stress limit/prone to psychosis rn so I will be trying to take it easy again today while doing job hunt stuff... I just think about how Waver feels Only *ignores everything* look at him isn't he sad doesn't he deserve a million kisses. I wrote the saddest possible short last night I think and now it's hitting me again... I'm thinking about refining it to put it in beastVN

[velvetyh]

she is a poodle <33 her name is moon I also have two rabbits a boy and a girl 🫠

I’m sorry to hear that about your shitty boss, thank god you said fuck her and went to her boss!! we love that.

I know very well that I have to be careful with the people I just met. I just… I had been knowing this person for a year and a few months... I also know that you never really finish fully knowing someone... but I thought that a year was at least enough to give me a idea of who he was yk?? but I was wrong (:

I honestly don't feel bad about what he did? it's more like... the fact that he failed me made me remember other things that have happened to me and if we add to that to all the things happening in my house right now… well… a mess lol

but I have been in worse situations and moments so I’ll totally be fine, actually, today I'm muchhhh better because my mom is in a better mood and we're even going out sooooo yeah ^_^

pretty out of topic but I've never taken so long talking to someone anonymously lol it’s kinda funny. Especially since you have no idea who I am even though we talk 😭 I guess you never really got to know me that much... it's not really like we talked much about a lot of things... we always talked about a specific topic </3 also, it's the beginning of a new week for you, I just started on sunday….

omg moon is such an adorable name 🥺🥺 and omg rabbits!! they're so fluffy and cuddly, i wish i could pet one rn!

just because she's my boss doesn't mean she can get in my way every single day and seize each opportunity to belittle me, im tired of her bs 💀 her boss "understood" the situation and legit told me "oh but she has mood swings, sadly you have to deal with them." nice

yeah, sadly you never fully know someone... they can be a perfect sweetheart with you in person / via text but still stab you in the back... im not saying that we should be paranoid of everyone, but still remain careful, okay? <33 people can be reaaaaally disappointing, especially SOME men 😶

for u :) i know it won't soothe your pain but at least i hope it brought a smile to your face!

omg have fun going out with your mom!! i miss doing that with mine tbh 🥺

idk who you are (i think?) but i really appreciate how you always come back to my account to send me asks! I've had a few anons but most of them left, I'm actually quite moved that some of y'all are willing to talk to me that much, thank you :')

yeah lmao I'm in Germany so I'm almost on Monday ahhhh 😭 have a peaceful Sunday my dear ! :D

[illogical-kawaii-potato]

I was supposed to fuck that guy today. So long story short about 2 weeks ago I met a guy in my uber pool. We hit it off pretty well and well, I asked him to fuck because before I talked to eddie i was in a deep emotional reckless state. We were supposed to easter Sunday but we just ended up making out instead the same with today. The thing is today, I opened up to him. Told him about my past and all the shit that's happened. Because we got on that topic and he told me some stuff and I told him as well. Anyways, skip toward and were supposed to fuck. He bails out because he's paranoid that his sister would catch him. Naturally, I'm annoyed but you know I'm just like fuck it whatever and start joking and being like fuck youuuuuu. Anyways, he's trying to get me to kiss him and I'm joking like no you don't deserve it. But then he starts getting more aggressive. I tell him to stop and he doesn't. His hand is legit pinching the back of my neck hard and it's really painful. I tell him please stop you're hurting me. "Then stop resisting." This is what he said. I could feel the flashbacks of my rape at that point. I start to shake and tense up. I feel so fucking helpless all of a sudden. Then I yell,"Seriously fucking stop." He realizes what he doing and he lets go apologizing. I'm shaking. I feel so weak. All I can think is i wish Eddie were here right now. All I can think was wishing he was there to hold me from the flashbacks. I feel pathetic. I feel scared and humiliated. This guys feels really bad and asks if her triggered something. I tell him I'm scared of him. He trying to hug me but I dont let him. He fucked up. He knows he did. I know he feels bad. He looks like he's going to cry because he hurt me. All I'm wishing for is Eddie to be there. All I'm wishing for is my best friend to consolidate me. But that's not go I g to happen anymore. I just have thos guy who's trying to apologize because he realized he waa being a dick and being forceful on me. I feel so pathetic wishing Eddie was here. Just bevause I'm scared. I'm all of a sudden wishing he was here holding me again. All of a sudden fear has hibdered my progress. All of a sudden, I remember feeling 17 years old again. All of a sudden, I want to go away again.