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themoonitselff · 8 months

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HEAR ME OUT, a Modern Mizu x Reader AU, But the reader is a famous singer? Sorry this is a little bit cheesy and idk what Mizu would be in this AU all i got is that the reader is a singer. I got this idea because i am a huge Swiftie and a huge Mizu worshipper soo lol

I got you, bestie. I like Taylor Swift too, and this request just makes my Vigilante Shit headcannons more canon. I ALREADY SAID IT, BUT I'LL DO IT AGAIN. (Don't worry I'll make it large and full of details just for you<3)

Modern! Mizu × Singer! Reader

Warnings: NOT PROOFREAD, I guess. Mizu being a cutie patootie with you.

Summary: You wrote a song for Mizu, thinking about her last relationship with the ex-principal of your University.

PD: This is headcannons+mini-fanfic, I'll do my best. <3 (let's pretend that I'm not a fan of Reputation and Midnight)

Let's start really slow before we get to the juicy point(you can scroll to the end if you don't want to read aaall of this). Mizu would be studying Civil/Mechanical Engineering (don't know how to say it in English). And the University she's in is one of the best of the country, so the campus would be huge, and it would have a lot of buildings and areas, she does the mobthly payment on her own, and she also has a little help on her dad when she's too busy with her part time job.

She has an amazing music taste, The Weeknd, Lana Del Rey, Laufey, she listens to Pop, Rock, Alternatives and ofc Arctic Monkeys. She also listens to you, but only the popular ones, since you're not like a big deal for her. (SHE REALLY LIKES YOU IN SECRET)

But then, she heard that you were moving to this state just to finish your career since you're a bit busy with your musical career. She doesn't get surprised, she doesn't believe it, her reaction is just like “Oh really? That's amazing.” with sarcasm on it

It was lunch time, Mizu was eating peacefully while hearing all of the news and updates Ringo was telling her of his day, something casual, she had to adapt to his common behavior. They were on a bench, looking at the football game they had in front.

“And the teacher was sooo mad because this girl got late, and they started arguing, and— Oh! Did you heard that (y/n) is gonna study here? I'm so excited to know her! I love her music, and she's so beautiful, and...” Ringo couldn't stop talking about you, which made Mizu roll her eyes as she finishes her coffee.

“Okay, I get it Ringo.” She said, her face was neutral, not believing it.

“I think tomorrow is when she's arriving, do you think she's like in the photos?” He blushed, slightly.

“Uhm..” Mizu imagined the celebrity getting off her car and walking inside the building, then getting drowned and breaked into pieces by the fans and other people that just know her because of her looks. “If she doesn't end dead, maybe.”

The same night, she stalked your account, your biography in Wikipedia and EVERYTHING, basically.. She realized that Ringo wasn't lying, it was on the news, everyone knew it. That's when her heart went on the floor because if you were gonna transfer into this University, it meant: a massive crowd of people wanting to get inside. “Ewww, people” She thought.

It didn't looked like, but she was kickin' her feet and giggling of excitement, the fact that you would be near to her, makes her sick.

The next day, she did what she didn't do every day. She brushed her hair, took a bath after 6 days of focusing on studying, put on the best hoodie she got from Akemi, her favorite pair of shoes, everything. But acted like nothing happened, like she wasn't screaming inside to see you.

“Why are you dressed like that?” Taigen asked, as he looked at Mizu's persona, who was really... Pretty, not like other days.

“Like what?” She replied, her eyes were looking for you in the University alley's, but you were not there.

“Like you're gonna fuck with someone.”

“I don't know what you're talking about.” Then she chopped his bangs off.

She did know what Taigen was talking about.

The night came and everyone was in their dorms, in the whole day, the only thing that people was talking about was you. It made her sick, like, c'mon you're just a singer, what's the matter?

Then, she hears someone knocking her door, she gets up from the couch and goes to open it, her lazy was all on her body

“Wha-?” She didn't finished, her jaw falled onto the floor, surprised.

It was you. (Y/n) the Music Industry. Her heartbeat went fast, her hands started trembling and flickering, her beautiful blue eyes opened like plates, it was impossible.

“Hello! They told me this is my dorm, and I have to share it with.. You. ” You showed the card and the directions, gently, with a sweet smile on your face. “Your name is Mizu, right?”

Mizu was still in shock, but recovered fast, she went to her natural face again and nodded. “Yes, what's yours?”

“(y/n), nice to meet you!” You took your bags and entered with confidence. “Uhm- I thought you would scream and go wild, but happily you did not.. So, if you don't know, I'm a Popstar, and I work with music, so I hope it doesn't disturb you.”

Mizu just closed the door, slowly, watching you get inside and getting comfortable, her mouth slightly opened. “No.. not at all.”

Now that you're roommates, she has to deal with Ringo and Akemi fangirling about you all the time and asking Mizu if they can take pictures with you. It pisses her off because you're just a human... And because she feels like she's the only one that can do that(possesive and protective)

She's normal about it on the outside, but fangirls too in the inside. Not like you imagined.

As the times goes on, she introduces you to her friend group (Akemi, Ringo, and the fool of Taigen)

They're nice to you and you always hangout together, it's like a dream come true to Ringo, that is like a bodyguard to you, he's always protecting you and making sure you're okay... And asks you to sign his albums and photocards and the whole merchandising.

You start getting more connected with Mizu, and shes now the only one who knows all of your exes, your future albums, your songs and why you wrote them, it's like Mizu and you are besties. Best friends.

Mizu didn't knew when, but she was falling in love with you.

She loved your eyes, your body, your voice, she loves when she hears your voice echoing in your room, she loves hearing you okay the guitar, she loves the fact that she's so important to you, she loves how shy you get with your fans, she loves you. She does.

And you do too. You love how good she is with you, you love that she sees you as a person and not as a singer. You love her eyes, you love her silence, you love cuddling with her, you love how she priories you over everything. She's the best for you.

One day, she told you about this guy that was her fiance, two years ago, He was the Principal of the University but now was just the teacher of Veterinary medicine. How dumb.

You were mad. You could not believe what he put her through. You were in her bed, hugging her as she was on her knees in front of you, crying and getting vulnerable with you, for the first time ever, her eyes were crystalized in tears, her nose was reddish and her face was so warm and weak, your fingers were cleaning her tears rolling through her cheeks, while you saw her lips moving and telling you everything.

It was a mix of “Omg Mizu is so sexy when she cries” and “I want to kill that motherfucker” vibes.

You could do nothing about it... But making a song.

You worked day and night, wrote the lyrics, made the rythm, you did everything just to make it sound sexy but angry at the same time, like the vibes you felt when comforting her. Because let's be honest, she's too good for a man, she needs something better.

She needs a woman.

When you got summer vacations, you published the song, and made a concert in a Stadium.

That day was a bit stressful, there was TOO MUCH people in the campus, your suit was too tight, your make up felt heavy, but you were not leaving this.

You sang a few songs before the main could be presented, Mizu was in the VIP zone with her friends, she was excited to be there, to admire you.

“Picture me, thick as thieves with your ex-wife.” You cooed, you left hand was on a chair and the other holding the mic, your boot tracing an oval in the floor, and the flashes were pointing at you, it was your peak.

“And she looks so pretty. ” Your body turned a bit at the side, your leg stumped so hard on the chair anyone could hear it “Driving in your Benz.”

“Lately she's been dressing for revenge.” Then, your free hand passed through your body from your chest to your mount venus, your expression was the same of an orgasm, you let out a little moan, seductively, the public went crazy, screaming and getting wild.

From mizu's pov, when you released the new album, she listened to all of the songs, and played them on streaming apps everytime she could.

When she heard this one, she immediately downloaded it, it became her favorite, she never told you, but she was loving it.

But, listening close to the lyrics she realized You were talking about her and what she told you.

She would be shock first, then a bit angry because you took her situation just to make money, to see it like “Omg so (y/n) made this for me”

She felt harder for you.

When she was watching you at the stage, she couldn't stop feeling a warm spot on her core, her cheeks getting hot and her lip getting bitten.

You looked really good in that suit, it made you look sensual.

After the show, Mizu went on backstage and hugged you so hard, then, you both looked into each other's eyes, connecting souls, Mizu was so focused on you, your body, your face, your escense. She was honestly in love with the idea of you.

Relationship Headcannons.

When she confesses to you, she does it in a casual moment.

Just imagine the two of you super cozy in the couch, watching a movie, then, you make visual contact, and then kiss.

She wouldn't say “Im in love with you”. But she'd let you know, cause' when you know, you know.

She would give you a bouquet of flowers with a “I want to be your girlfriend” note. When you receive it, you'll nod at her and kiss her passionately, your heart going faster.

Since then, you wouldn't use your bedroom to sleep anymore, you would sleep with her every night, and every night is kissing and cuddling, if not, hugging and laughing, if not, just smiling at you, but Mizu is not letting you go anywhere.

She's too obsessive with you, to the point she would know when do you poop and when you get hungry.

Your first dates are private and in public just holding hands.

When you make it official, you let a paparazzi take a picture of you sitting in Mizu's legs while kissing, her hand on your ass.

Or maybe, it would be like the Kylie Kenner and Travis photo, where you're kissing at a party or sum place and Mizu realizes someone's taking a picture, so she does the middle finger thing.

Anyways, your relationship is hugely healthy, she's always working on making you feel relaxed and fine.

She also learns how to play guitar just to help you with your songs (like in Enchanted from Taylor Swift or Brooklyn Baby from LDR)

She's too private when it comes to arguments and problems. She's not letting anyone in your relationship, she always solve it when you're home.

She's always marking territory, with a hand on your waist or holding your hand. If she feels jealous she'll kiss you right there.

Mizu is the type of girlfriend that loves to talk to you with the eyes since she's bad at talking, be prepared for that.

Sometimes she will not be in the best mood. Mizu can avoid you for days and getting more distant if you insist on asking her why. She needs her space too.

If you're patient and stay by her side without being too dependient, you'll have her head over heels.

Always supporting you on the stage.

Always taking care of you and protecting you.

Always loving you.

#bes mizu #bes #blue eye samurai x reader #mizu #mizu bes #mizu blue eye samurai #mizu x reader #mizu x you #blue eye samurai #blue eye samurai mizu #blue eye samurai netflix #mizu come home the kids miss you #mizu x y/n #mizu x fem!reader

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burnyourtrains · 3 months

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SDV Bachelor/ette Headcanons!!

I was peer pressured by @jessibbb into posting these <3 (also I'm on mobile so if it looks bad no it doesn't.)

ALso divider credits to the lovely @thecutestgrotto and @saradika

Done in alphabetical order, because we're not playing favorites here

Bachelors:

Alex

I feel like he was into band when he was younger and in school, but he got bullied for it, so he switched to gridball instead. He loves gridball, but sometimes he wonders what would have happened if he stuck with the trumpet.

Jess thinks he's short, but I don't think he'd have as much arrogance/confidence that he does in game if he were short. I think he does the hands on top of the doorframe thing.

To me, he was one of those semi-annoying popular guys in high school who would interrupt the class of the younger grade and ask the teacher if she missed him.

Takes skincare seriously (ty Haley)

Helps Evelyn in the kitchen and around the house

Shockingly handy? He's good at fixing things (doesn't want to be a burden on his grandparents, and he knows George feels bad that he can't do maintenance around the house.)

He and Haley have matching friendship bracelets

Elliot

(To the Elliot stans, I'm so sorry, but I cannot stand his character. Initially I was gonna marry him but then he started talking and I just Couldn't. So here's how I thought he was going to be. (I try to keep it somewhat similar to how he is in game but I just,,,,,,,))

Very romantic

Comes on too strong at first, but once he realizes he apologizes and learns how to be one of your really close friends (unless you ever want to be more, obvs)

Loves the drama of a historical romance

Adores Jane Austen

I feel like the game suggests that he isn't very tidy, but in my mind he keeps himself and his space neat and clean. (He might have a depression pit when he's feeling morose or lacking creativity, but he gets it together after a shower or a walk)

He's not egotistical (I also feel the game implies some of this), but he's not entirely humble, either. Very self-assured, but that could possibly be to mask that he really worries about whether or not his writing career will take off.

Harvey

(Jess drew little hearts around my notes for this one lmao)

Actually very sickly as a child, which I think had a huge factor in driving him into medicine.

Likes when the farmer does his nails. It's nice to have someone want to dote on him. (He ends up taking the polish off when he has to work for sanitary purposes, but that just means you can do them again later <3)

Secretly had a piercing at one point, but he was relatively anxious about having it, even though it made him feel good about himself. Possibly anxious because it didn't fit his "image"; he doesn't have it anymore. (He was So crazy in college literally what was he thinking??????) (it was a bellybutton piercing btw)

His guilty pleasure food is ice cream don't tell

Podcast lover. (Mainly medical and aerospace)

Sam

Mans has a mullet. I will not be accepting arguments at this time

He doesn't have a favorite color, but he really loves bright ones

Definitely has ear and possibly facial piercings

Idk where I'm getting this from, it's kind of based solely on vibes, but I feel like he might be colorblind?

Loves having his makeup done

Wears minimal jewelry, but is always wearing at least one ring, whether that's on a chain or on his finger depends on the day.

Sebastian

He gets called emo but I get more punk vibes from him

When you meet him he's just starting on his second sleeve tattoo

He uses candy cigarettes when he's trying to quit smoking, partially because he thinks it's funny, and partially just because he likes the sugar

I think he feels very stuck in the persona the town has given him, so he kind of just gives up after living there for so long on trying to convince people otherwise

Ear and eyebrow piercings, at least. Very willing to accept constructive criticism here.

Probably has the chain belt thing

Rings rings rings

Shane

I feel like he's either very tall, or very short, and I cannot decide which one

Cleans up very nice after he gets sober

Raises Jas more than Marnie does (Concerning bc alcoholism, but I can't stand Marnie so. The lesser of two evils I guess?)

Regularly takes walks to ward off dark thoughts

Keg king back in his college days

Bachelorettes

These are more look-based, since Jess and I were trying to do a redesign situation. The men I was struck with sudden inspiration and clarity for how to flesh out their personalities more, but I'll have to update the character work for the women when the creativity strikes.

Abigail

I kind of get undercut vibes from her

I think she has gages, for sure

Facial piercings but idk what most of them are called. Specifically a lip piercing

She has a small stick and poke that she, Sam, and Seb designed together

The big overlined lips that were popular in 2020 (might still be popular now but I'm no longer chronically online God bless)

Tattoo choker that was popular in the early 2000s

Big shaggy wolfcut

Elevated HotTopic vibes

Emily

Mixed metal jewelry queen

Wears multiple necklaces

Hippie-esque style (they really did her dirty with her game design she looks like s clown but she's so sweet that it's Criminal)

Crystal girly (a given)

Definitely has some sort of altar set up. Idk much about witchcraft so very loosely assigning her as a crystal witch

Really likes incense

Alice Cullen haircut, y'all know the one

Haley

She has such pretty lashes, I just know it

Big yabos

Her nails are always immaculate. Despite thinking her sister is weird, I think Emily is the one who learned how to give her acrylics

Alex is definitely the person she's closest to

I don't really have that many ides for her I'm sorry :(

Leah

Very wispy, ethereal hair (1908s aogg vibes)

Former hairdresser. While she still lived in the city, she went into cosmetology since it had the opportunity to be a creative career, and her partner at the time didn't really support her in her art (I think the partner bit is canon). Ultimately, she came to resent her job, and she left the city for Stardew Valley. I think she still uses the skills and knowledge she acquired when doing her own hair, and occasionally the hair of some of the residents in the valley.

Howl's Moving Castle earrings

Honestly Howl's Moving Castle vibes overall for her style I think

Dresses masc. but in a way that still comes off as feminine, if that makes sense. Think billowy white shirt from the male lead of a period drama

Most likely covered in some sort of art medium, (acrylics, wood shavings, oil paints, etc.), in a charming way, not an unclean way.

Maru

Minimal makeup, if any at all

She has cute little stud earrings she got as a kid (they're stars)

Has an astronomy charm bracelet, but it's only worn on special occasions. I think she'd be wearing it when she shows you the telescope and tries to confess her feelings for the first time.

She's a silver girly

Little baby hairs. Give my girl Maru better hair

Lowkey loves Hello Kitty (idk where this one came from but I feel it)

Penny

Bumper bangs. In general I get very 50s vibes for style

Doesn't think she'll ever leave Stardew Valley, so she doesn't really have any huge aspirations for herself anymore.

She mostly invests herself in teaching Vincent and Jas to the best of her ability.

Would have loved to be a teacher if she were to leave, but she worries about her mother, so she's never left

I know there are some ideas on here that seem insubstantial compared to others, but this is the best I can do currently! I'd love feedback, since I'm relatively new to the fandom and the game, but I hope you enjoyed!!

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penguwastaken · 4 months

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Danganronpa 2 Never Said Chiaki Never Existed

In Danganronpa 2, AI Chiaki shows surprise when seeing her profile in the book that Nagito got. A lot of people use this as proof that chiaki never existed, but that's really never said at all.

I figured it was pretty obvious, but the reason she is surprised is because she never knew there was a real Chiaki.

In chapter 5, both Monomi and Chiaki herself aren't aware of how Chiaki got her personality, so they just assume it might have come from the people that made them.

Of course, Danganronpa 3 later gives us an actual answer and says she was created by the memories of Class 77, directly building off of this mystery in the second game.

Point is, Chiaki doesn't know where her personality came from, who she's based on, or even that there was a real Chiaki at all.

"Erm but Pengu, they say that Chiaki's profile is fake"

That is never actually stated in game, all that is told to us is that Monokuma slipped in false information.

However, Monokuma DOES confirm that everything in the book is reused from information provided by the former headmaster (Jin Kirigiri obviously), which causes Nagito to question if the traitor is a former Hope's Peak student.

Once again, Chiaki's presence in Danganronpa 3 seems to be here to tie up these loose ends and mysteries.

So then what false information did Monokuma include then? Simple, he left Chiaki's profile in. He didn't fake a profile, he just included the profile of someone who wasn't actually in the killing game.

He even admits to ignoring the traitor, which is kind of a weird thing to say if you went out of your way to fake something for their sake.

AI chiaki is NOT the same as IRL Chiaki

They have different lives, memories, personalities, etc. All they share is the same persona, but ultimately AI Chiaki is just an ai that takes the appearance of Chiaki.

AI Chiaki is her own person, an AI created by Chihiro designed to create a chaperone like student based on the needs and experiences of those involved with the Neo World Program, and it just so happened to result in taking the form of Chiaki because of that. However, it is still not Chiaki. So leaving Chiaki's profile in and implying Chiaki is a part of the killing game is inherently false information.

At most, Danganronpa 2 leaves whether there was a real Chiaki or not in the open, however it never confirms or denies the existence of one. Nothing in the game outright says that a Chiaki never existed, only that the one we see is an AI of vague origin.

And if that isn't enough to convince you, during the scene with Chiaki's memory and Hajime, Kodaka says that he felt like Chiaki there felt more real which inspired him to make Chiaki a real person.

"Actually, now that I think about it, when I started making DR3, I got stuck on something from DR2. After Nanami dies in Chapter 5, she comes back in Chapter 6 through a glitch, and when I was writing Nanami for that, I had the idea that she was 'a little bit off'. She’s not like the Nanami we’ve seen so far, I thought; she was never that tender. I had that gnawing at my brain when I was making DR3, and I thought, 'Maybe that really was a different Nanami,' and that’s how I came up with the Nanami in Zetsubou-hen." -Kazutaka Kodaka in an interview

Of course this does not mean Kodaka intended that Chiaki in this specific was meant to be the real Chiaki when making Danganronpa 2. However it DOES show that Kodaka never ruled out the posibility of a real chiaki, because if he did he wouldn't have even come to that conclusion.

If you want my opinion, this seems like another scenario of people who don't like Danganronpa 3 having their personal interpretation of the story proven wrong and instead of admitting that they were wrong about something they just call it a retcon. The same thing happened with brainwashing, it happened with Mukuro, and I'm certain that's what happened here. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

#danganronpa #dr #danganronpa 3 #dr3 #dr3 anime #dr2 goodbye despair #danganronpa 2 #danganronpa goodbye despair #danganronpa anime #sdr2 #dr2 #dr3 chiaki #chiaki nanami #sdr2 chiaki #danganronpa chiaki

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petorahs · 7 months

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Hello! In your post about Makoto and Ken, you mentioned movie Ken is your favorite. As someone who’s only played the game, I was wondering what subtle differences there are between movie and game Ken?

hey there! I'm very honored and glad you asked cause I feel like movie Ken is an underrated aspect of his character because of one key substantial difference: He actually was close to Shinjiro and admired him... before learning the truth.

spoilers for Midsummer Knight's Dream!

In the games, it's clear that the catalyst for Ken joining SEES was after he found out Shinjiro was the killer of his mom right before summer vacation was to end and he was supposed to go back to his elementary school dorm. So, he entered SEES (in his eyes rightfully) hating Shinji and with the goal of getting strong enough to kill him. Shinjiro joins right after, Ken himself being his reason, and they literally never talk... the tension is so palpable! There's also this trifecta of sorts that the developers wanted to convey which is pictured above... how Ken admires Akihiko, while Aki admires Shinji, while Ken hates Shinji. the monorail scene in Full Moon, Full Life is symbolic for this.

The movie's take on it though.. provides a slight nuance to this.

In the movies, a handful of characters become narrative foils/parallels to further develop Makoto Yuki's character such as Chidori, Natsuki, Takaya, Pharos obviously, Fuuka, etc. But one that's always stuck out to me was Ken Amada.

Right off the bat, Mitsuru assigns Makoto as Ken's bodyguard because they "share similar backgrounds". Both are orphans who lost their parents to the Dark Hour. Ken is aimless at this point, wandering about during the Dark Hour to kill time. He declines living in Iwatodai dorm even. But then, he thinks he found out the killer of his mom is actually the shadows, specifically a large one with a hulking body and blond hair. This is during the attack on the shrine where Koromaru protects it (cool thing about the movies is that we see the actual moment Koro-chan fights, instead of just the aftermath this time!). Ken's resolve is made and he joins SEES to eradicate shadows. Akihiko looks away quietly in this moment. Shinjiro rejoins SEES except it was Strega that gave him the info that Ken joined. The tension is still palpable, except this time Ken is none the wiser.

Ken immediately takes to Shinjiro because Shinji protected him during a Full Moon attack. He's so strong, everything Ken wants to be. (Nevermind Shinji's own reasoning for jumping in was his brand of punishment...)

This brings me to my final point. It's no secret by now that my favorite is Makoto, and the way that Ken's words echo Makoto's own thoughts about his mom is so quietly tragic to me that provides a layer of depth to both their characters we never really get in the games. They were both driven by their own mothers' influence and deaths.

Life was not worth living after they were orphaned, but now, they can finally live again... recently in Reload the Ken and Makoto parallels I mentioned were that they basically share the same dread, and self-isolation tendencies but I like this sentiment in the movie that there's healing to be found in the little things again :( Makoto and Ken were both healing...

anyways uh. since this is Persona 3 we all know how this ends which I will not spoil because I really, really like what they did with Makoto and his role in Shinjiro's death in the movies (+ the aftermath of it) but! I'll leave with these insane af frames

This is after Ken finds out that the large shadow with a hulking body and blond hair was not, in fact, a shadow at all - but someone's Persona.

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yuseirra · 7 months

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*persona 3 reload spoilers*

Good news to ryomina & ryoji fans(maybe!!),

I'd been listening to Color Your Night a LOT lately and it occurred to me, doesn't that song make a lot more sense if the part Azumi-san(the female vocal)sings's taken as the Moon's perspective?

I'd used to think the song was sung from the protagonist&aigis(or his lover)'s perspective but a lot of the lyrics just click when you take lotus juice's part as the protag's perspective AND azumi's part as the moon's.

And the "moon" in this game is actually ryoji....

I look up at the sky, ask a lotta of why<the protag looks up at the moon and thinks why has it all came to be this way

Good and bad but nothing unties us<aligns with what ryoji/pharos said: they will still always be friends

Color the town with my light<the moon literally "shines", it brings light to the town

Another wander in the night

Let me paint the view

Colour the town with my light

For every moment shared with you

Not out in the day

But never fully gone

Going to be back again

Until the coming of a dawn < this entire part makes perfect sense if you take the speaker as the moon, since it's something that only appears at night(but is not really gone during the day, either, just unseen)

When two hands meet at zenith

Nothing comes between us < I think the hand here means the hands of the clock, which would imply 12'o clock midnight

As I drift across the sky

The hour hand turns high<seeing this, that interpretation only makes more sense.

And the MOON is something that drifts across the sky

Around the world I slowly dance<this part too, it matches how the moon revolves around the earth

Looking down below

The one I seek to find

No matter where you might go

Remember you'll be on my mind< and isn't this similar to what ryoji says?? That he'll be watching over everyone, even if he wouldn't be in that same form anymore? It also feels similar to how the moon watches the earth/protagonist from above. He's the one that's developed a special relationship with it.

I'm at ease with things that used to bother me

'Cause your existence just lights me up, yup<the protagonist responds to the other person and the situation he's in like this, I don't think it's too much of a stretch to say he would feel this way towards ryoji the way he does for all his precious friends and bonds..

You always got my back, and of course I got your back

Don't you worry about that now

(Hey)

It's been a good day, good night

It's gonna be a good day, good night< this too

Within the inner heart I plead

For you to talk to me

I want to hear all the good and bad

The new stories you have < a lot of people'd feel this way towards the protag, and definitely ryoji too from what I've seen from his links. He wanted to spend more time with the protag and remember the text message he sent to the protag for his third link ep? He wanted the protag to come and talk to him really bad..

The song ends with it saying:

I'll be seeing you, baby<

Well, considering what happens to the protagonist later on, he WILL be seeing ryoji.

This song can be interpreted in many ways, but the moon's significance is really enhanced if you take it this way and it's really interesting considering how deeply tied it is to the entire p3's plot. I could be late on this but I thought this could be some interesting food for thought!

#ryomina #ryoji mochizuki #persona 3 reload #persona 3 reload spoilers #persona 3 #persona #p3 reload #spoilers #yeah...this works better than I anticipated #it actually makes the most sense in some ways because the lyrics imply it's the moon that's talking #it was really interesting thinking about this earlier

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punchdrunkdoc · 2 months

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Part 3, Chapter 23

Summary: After the events of S3, Matt Murdock is trying to once again balance life as a lawyer and a vigilante. But he’s been scarred by loss and betrayal - will a mysterious new neighbour help him heal? Or will her secrets drag him back into the darkness? Notes: This is a slow burn romance with an original female character, told in 4 parts. There is mystery, intrigue, action/violence and angst - all the good stuff!

Also available on AO3 and Wattpad

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Okay, this is an extra looooong chapter. But we're finally at the end of Part 3! And the last line in this chapter was written when I first started plotting this fic, over 18 months and 230 000 words ago...so I'm a little excited for you guys to finally read it!

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PART 3

Chapter 23

The hostess led Cross and Ranieri through the busy restaurant, and Matt tracked their movements as they weaved between tables, the scent of their mingled colognes getting stronger as they came closer to his and Calina’s corner. He had a brief moment of concern that Cross was headed straight for them - that somehow Cross had discovered that Matt was looking into him, and had come here to confront him-

But then Cross paused at the table behind Matt to greet the couple seated there. Cross obviously knew them well, launching into a recap of his golf game from that morning and laughing with the couple about the new wait staff at the country club. Cross was in his slightly smarmy, exuberant, rich-guy mode - a persona that Matt had started calling his ‘politician guise’. It was a far cry from the real Cross - the cold sociopathic monster who enjoyed torturing people - and the falsity of it grated on Matt.

After a few moments of inane chatter, Cross and Ranieri moved on, heading for the back of the restaurant where the VIP section resided, separated from the rest of the public by a locked door.

“Will you be able to hear what’s going on in there?” Calina asked quietly.

Matt shook his head. “I doubt it. There’s soundproofing in the walls.”

“Soundproofing? In an already private room? That just screams shady, doesn’t it?”

“Yeah. I’m going to have to get closer - I can only pick up indistinct murmurs from here.”

“While you do that, I’ll contact Anya.”

“Anya? Why?”

“Because I think Ranieri’s presence here ties everything together.”

———

After the initial shock of seeing Ranieri had worn off, Calina realised that it shouldn’t have been a shock at all. It made complete sense. “We always suspected that the man behind the fear pheromone was the one who activated me to kill Governor Benson.”

Matt nodded. “In order to guarantee the supply of Arsonium for the pheromone.”

“Right. Aminev was the Red Room employee who dosed me for that assassination attempt, and Anya mentioned that she’d found his name in Ranieri’s laptop - Ranieri was looking for him after he defected from Volkov’s group. I’m guessing he found him - either he sent Aminev to Cross, knowing that he’d pay through the nose for a Black Widow to control, or Aminev told Ranieri about Cross.”

“Either way, Ranieri’s obviously decided to get into bed with another sociopath looking for power.”

“We need to find out what he’s telling Cross about the Widows and Volkov’s work.”

Matt nodded again, looking grim. “Agreed.” He gave Calina a quick kiss on the cheek and set off to do just that.

Calina watched Matt head for the restroom two doors down from the private VIP room, and hoped he’d be able to hear what Cross and Ranieri were up to from there.

Because this whole thing was giving her a really bad feeling.

The moment she’d set eyes on Ranieri, a pit of anxiety had opened up in her gut. It was the collision of her two worlds - her present with Matt, and her past with the Widows - and she knew it could only portend disaster for the future. Cross was powerful enough as it was, with all his wealth and influence and the fear pheromone he was using to blackmail key figures in the city. Add in mind-control serum or another Black Widow assassin to that mix and he could very possibly take over the world.

Calina grabbed her phone from her purse and sent off a message to Anya, updating her about Cross’ involvement in the serum, and the unexpected appearance of Ranieri. She’d call the other Widow later and give her more details, but she knew Anya would be intrigued enough by her quick missive to start digging and confirm Calina’s theory.

Meanwhile…she’d wait.

She was used to it. So many of her past missions were exercises in patience. In biding her time watching her marks, and waiting for the right moment to strike. But back then there were no idle thoughts to distract her, and definitely no fears or worries for her partner on the job.

This felt different. Her head was spinning with worry for what this new complication meant. And worry for Matt, who was becoming obsessed with taking down Cross.

Luckily, she didn’t have to wait - and worry - for long. Ten minutes later, Matt emerged from his stake-out in the restroom and made his way back to her.

She smiled at him - an almost involuntary reflex now whenever she saw him. She’d asked him once, if he could sense that. They’d been lying in bed, her head on his chest, his fingers trailing up and down her bare back as they filled each other in on their day. “I caught my reflection in the window today when you walked in,” she’d told him, recounting the moment he’d met her at the coffee shop around the corner from his office. “I was smiling like an idiot, for all the world to see.”

“Is that a bad thing?” he’d replied.

“No, just strange. Considering the way I was raised.”

“Well I like that you smile like an idiot when you see me.”

She laughed. Then tilted her head up to look at him. “But can you tell? When you walk into a room, can you sense that I’m smiling at you?”

He tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, then brushed his thumb over her lips. “I don’t need to sense these move to know you’re happy to see me. I know in other ways.”

She’d spent the rest of the night trying to elicit what those ‘other ways’ were, using all her feminine tricks and wiles to cajole the secret from him, but he didn’t budge.

At this moment though, if he sensed she was happy to see him, he didn’t let on. There was no smile on his face as he approached their table. In fact, there was a stiffness to his gait that wasn’t there before, and his stubbled jaw was clenched.

“Everything okay?” she asked.

He shook his head. “I need to go. They’re leaving through a back entrance, and I don’t want to lose this chance to find out what they’re up to.”

“Okay. I’ll see you at home later. Be careful.”

She went to put her hand on his, where it rested on his cane, but he pulled away from her touch. “I need to go,” he repeated, and strode for the door.

The bad feeling in Calina’s gut grew stronger.

And it didn’t let up over the next several hours, as Matt followed Cross and Ranieri all over the city, and she was left to pace his living room floor alone.

He eventually returned as dawn was starting to break across the sky. Calina was napping on the couch, exhaustion and worry leading to a fretful, interrupted sleep. As his key turned in the door, she sat upright and called out. “Matt, are you okay?”

He didn’t look okay. He trudged into the living room, footfalls heavy and slow, and collapsed on to the chair opposite her. His 5 o’clock shadow had darkened into scruff and the suit he’d worn to dinner last night was rumpled and creased. He rubbed his hands over his face then massaged his temples, as if fighting off a headache.

“Matt,” she said again, softer this time. “What happened?”

“Nothing. Hours and hours of fucking nothing.”

“What do you mean?”

Matt sighed and let his head fall back against the chair. “I caught up with Cross and Ranieri after they left the restaurant, and tailed them to a club on the upper east side - an exclusive members-only club that was harder for me to get into than fucking Fort Knox.”

“But you managed right? I mean, you’re Daredevil, a few locked doors are nothing to you,” she tried to make her comment light, to help counteract the air of anger and frustration that seemed to simmer beneath Matt’s weary state.

It didn’t work. Matt just continued to recap his night in the same flat, bitter tone. “I eventually managed to find a way on to the roof that wasn’t guarded by a camera or security guard, but I couldn’t hear anything of use - it was too loud and packed with other people to make out Cross and Ranieri’s conversation. They left the club after a couple of hours, and split up. I followed Ranieri to the Waldorf, but he went straight to his room. He didn’t meet up with anyone else.”

Calina did the math in her head, and realised that several hours were still unaccounted for in Matt’s story. He never came home for his Daredevil suit to go out patrolling…so what did he do instead?

“Then what?” she asked.

“What do you mean?”

“You’ve been gone practically all night, Matt.”

Matt sat forward, dangled his hands between his legs and stared at the floor. “I needed to think.”

Calina swallowed, suddenly more worried than she’d been all night. Matt’s voice as he said those words…his whole demeanour…

Something was really wrong.

“What did you need to think about?”

Matt clasped his hands together and squeezed until his flesh went white. He opened his mouth, then closed it again, as if hesitating to answer.

“Matt, what’s going on?”

He took a deep breath and lifted his head in her direction. “Does the name ‘Eliise’ mean anything to you?”

Calina frowned, thrown by the unexpected question. Then the blood drained from her face as she realised how he would have heard that name. “It was my alias in Italy, when I was going after Ranieri. He recognised me in the restaurant, didn’t he?”

“Oh, yeah. Turns out you were really fucking memorable. I mean, he was a little disappointed you’d changed your hair and weren’t showing as much leg as before, but he took great delight in describing his night with you to Cross.”

Calina exhaled in relief, glad her real identity as a Widow hadn’t been blown. “So he was bragging to look like a big shot in front of his new associate, so what?”

“It wasn’t baseless bragging. He was regaling Cross in lurid detail about all the ways he'd fucked you. And he wasn’t lying. I could practically feel his heartbeat through that bathroom wall, and he believed every single word of what he said.”

“Wait…are you saying you think I slept with him? That I had sex with him in Italy behind your back?”

“He wasn’t lying, Calina,” Matt repeated, through clenched teeth.

“Neither was I! I told you exactly what happened during that mission!”

“Like you told me exactly what happened to the man you killed across the hall?”

Calina reeled back, as if the words were a physical blow. “So I’m always going to be a liar in your eyes, is that it? Despite the fact that I’ve been honest and open with you every single day since then? Despite the fact that you claim to love me? Doesn’t that afford me the benefit of the doubt at the very least!?”

Matt jumped to his feet. “Yes! Of course it does! That’s why I’ve been wrestling with this all night! I couldn’t reconcile what you told me with-”

“With what Ranieri said? You believed a complete stranger over me?”

“No, not blindly. But you’re asking me to ignore everything my senses are telling me-”

“Yes! Because your senses aren’t infallible, Matt. All of your goddam trust issues stem from the fact that you’ve been lied to again and again by the people you're close to, which means you can’t always tell when someone’s being honest!”

“So now you’re throwing my past back at me? I just want the truth, Calina! What happened in Italy?”

Calina didn’t answer. Instead, she grabbed her cell from the coffee table and dialled a number.

“What are you doing?” Matt asked, as the sound of the phone ringing filled the air between them.

“Well, you obviously won’t believe anything I tell you, so I’m getting someone impartial to give you the truth.”

At that moment, Anya picked up the phone, sounding wide awake despite the hour. “Calina? I’ve been looking into this Cross and Ranieri thing, and I may have found something. They-”

“Not now, Anya,” Calina interrupted. “I need you to speak to Matt.”

“Okay…about what?"

“Tell him about Italy. About the serum I injected Ranieri with - and what it does.”

“Um, it’s a modified sedative. Designed to render a mark unconscious while also allowing for hypnotic suggestions to be implanted.”

“And what suggestions did you implant while Ranieri was unconscious?” Calina asked.

“That, um, you had sex with him.”

“Did I actually have sex with him?”

“No! Of course not. Calina, what’s this about? What’s-”

“I’ll tell you later.” Calina hung up the phone and looked at Matt. He stood with his hands on his hips, head bowed. “Satisfied?”

At Calina’s question, he lifted his head. Shook it once. “Calina, I’m sorry-”

“I don’t give a shit.” She shoved her phone in her pocket, grabbed her purse and stalked towards the door.

Matt caught her hand before she could yank it open. “Wait, don’t leave. We need to talk about this. I’m so sorry for-”

“For what? For doubting me? Not trusting me? Or for thinking I'm the kind of person who would cheat on you, and lie to your face about it?”

“Callie-”

“No. I can’t deal with this right now. I need to go.”

“Go? Go where? Please don’t disappear on me again.”

“Right now, I’m going to my apartment across the hall to get some sleep. Don’t follow me. Don’t call me.”

Matt squeezed her hand. Brought it to his lips and pressed a desperate kiss to the back of it. “Please, sweetheart-”

“No. I need some space, Matt. Just let me go.”

“I don’t think I can ever let you go, sweetheart,” Matt whispered against her skin. “But I’ll give you some space.” He dropped her hand and stepped to the side.

Calina walked through the door and didn’t look back.

———

Matt hit the punching bag with all his strength, the smack of flesh meeting leather creating a satisfying sound that rang out in the empty gym.

The pain that came a moment later was satisfying in a different way.

Matt had foregone the hand wraps and gloves for a reason. He’d come straight to Fogwell’s after the fight with Calina, wanting to take out all his anger and frustration on the training equipment…and wanting to punish himself in the process.

He couldn’t believe how thoroughly he’d fucked things up tonight.

No, that was wrong. He could believe it. It was one of his core personality traits, after all: the ability to sabotage every good thing in his life.

Like his relationship with Karen. He’d fucked that up because he couldn’t stay away from the toxic pull of Elektra. He’d fucked up his career and his friendship with Foggy because he couldn’t find the right balance between Matt Murdock and Daredevil.

He really thought he’d turned a corner this year. He’d mended the rift with Foggy, found friendship again with Karen, and had rebuilt the law firm with their help…but now he’d gone and fucked everything up with Calina. Because he couldn’t trust her.

No, that was wrong too. He couldn’t trust his trust in her.

Because he knew that she hadn’t lied to him about Italy. He knew she wasn’t the type of person who could be unfaithful. He knew there must be some explanation for why Ranieri believed the things that he did.

As soon as he’d heard the smarmy Italian telling Cross about ‘Eliise’, Matt had shook his head in disbelief. He knew it must be Calina he was referring to - the timing and location of the encounter fit with the Widow’s mission, and he seemed so sure he recognised Calina, despite the change in her appearance - but Matt couldn’t believe the story he was spinning about them sleeping together. He didn’t believe it. He knew that it had to be a lie, despite what his senses were telling him.

But as the night wore on, and he had little to do but sit on a cold, concrete rooftop as Cross and Ranieri’s conversation was lost to the din of the nightclub below, insidious thoughts started to creep into Matt’s mind.

What if…?

What if Calina had lied to him? She’d done it before, after all. She’d kept the secret of her identity for months. She’d killed people, and kept that from him.

What if sleeping with Ranieri was vital to her mission to take down Volkov? He knew how strong and overwhelming the Widows’ drive for freedom had been. They would have stopped at nothing to get out from under Volkov’s thumb. Would Calina have stopped at sleeping with a mark? She’d done that before in the past, as well…

Matt had hated the thoughts as they’d formed in his head. He’d screwed his eyes shut and pulled at the strands of his hair, as if he could physically banish them. He didn’t like that even a tiny part of him could think so ill of the woman he loved.

But he couldn’t seem to shake those thoughts. They took root over the course of the night, and he spent hours walking the streets of Hell’s Kitchen, wrestling with them. Trying to conquer them with the truths that he was sure of: Calina was a good person. She’d vowed to be honest with him. She loved him, and wouldn’t betray him.

But those wretched, malignant doubts just wouldn’t go away.

And look where they’d gotten him - pummelling his fists bloody and raw because he’d hurt Calina. Because he’d ruined things between them.

Why couldn’t he have trusted his initial instinct that Ranieri was lying?

Why couldn’t he have trusted his belief in Calina?

Matt yelled in frustration as he hit the bag so hard it swung away from him, a wordless shout of anger and pain that echoed off the crumbling walls of the gym. He caught the bag as it came back, and rested his forehead against the leather, panting with exertion. Warm blood trickled from the split skin over his knuckles, and he could feel the burn of inflammation in his shoulder where he must have pulled a muscle.

But the pain didn’t help. The self-flagellation wasn’t lessening any of his guilt.

And he was at real risk of doing damage to himself that wouldn’t heal with an icepack and a few bandages. He scoffed at the irony as he cleaned off the blood from his hands and the sweat from his brow. He never used to worry about himself in that way. Not before Calina. Not before he started to see a future for himself, with her.

He just didn’t know if that future existed now.

———

Calina couldn’t sleep.

She wasn’t surprised. Sleep had never come easily to her in this new post-Widow’s life. Not unless she was next to Matt…

Matt.

She sighed and rolled on to her back, staring vacantly at the ceiling over her bed. She wished she could cry or yell or hit something to get rid of this…numbness…that she felt. She’d left his apartment in a hurry, feeling like she was on the verge of breaking down, but when she reached her own bedroom just moments later, a wave of numbness had descended, until she was left like this - feeling empty, detached from her own emotions.

As if they were too big, too devastating to bear, and her mind was protecting her from them.

Or maybe it just meant that she was done. That she knew it was over between her and Matt, and her pragmatic side had decided that there was no point in wallowing in grief and pain over the loss.

No. The thought of it really and truly being over between her and Matt caused a sharp stab of pain through her heart.

A response at last.

Because she loved him.

Which was its own curse. Because it meant that she knew him. She knew his past and the way it had shaped who he was today. She knew why he’d reacted the way he had tonight…and a small part of her even sympathised with his struggle to believe her.

Hence, the curse. She should be allowed to be angry. To feel betrayed by his doubts. To hate him as much as she loved him.

But instead she was...numb.

So numb, the sound of a knock at the door barely elicited a reaction, even though it was probably Matt ignoring her wishes. “I said I needed space, Matt,” she called out as she dragged herself out of bed.

“We’re not Matt, so open up,” was the response.

Frowning, Calina opened the door to find Anya and Katya standing in the hall - along with a very unexpected addition. “What are you doing here so early?”

Anya pushed passed her into the living room. “After that weird phone call, we had to come and see what was happening.”

Katya rolled her eyes. “Tactful, Anya. We’re not just here out of curiosity. We came to see how you were. We figured you and Matt had an argument.”

“Is that why you brought a dog?” Calina asked, pointing to the puppy in Katya’s arms. “For comfort?"

"Comfort?"

"Yeah. I read that petting a dog lowers cortisol levels, and can boost dopamine and serotonin neurotransmitters in the brain.”

Katya looked down at the squirming mass of fur in her arms. “That would have been a good idea, actually. But, no, we’re dog-sitting Nika and didn’t want to leave her in the house while everyone else is too pre-occupied with what’s happening over Wakanda to watch her.”

“Wait, whose dog is she? And what’s happening in Wakanda?” Calina sat on the edge of the sofa and looked up at the Widows, glad there were a couple of mysteries to uncover that would take her mind off Matt.

Katya let the puppy down to explore and joined Calina on the couch. “She belongs to Yelena. She picked her up from the pound last week.”

Calina smiled. “That’s great. She said she always wanted a dog - I just thought she was planning to wait until all the Widows’ stuff was sorted.”

“Nope. She just decided that she’ll still do all the ‘Widows’ stuff’ and leave us to look after the dog while she’s gone.”

“Where is she now?”

“In Helsinki with Sonya. They’re freeing Ana - do you remember her?”

Calina had the vague recollection of an older, blonde girl who was a couple of cohorts ahead of her in the Red Room. “Not really.”

“Well, we found her in a mansion in the Finnish countryside, so Yelena flew out there last night.”

“That’s good that you guys found someone else.”

“Speaking of finding something,” Anya said. “I was looking into Cross and Ranieri like you asked-”

“That can wait until later,” Katya interrupted. “Tell us what happened with Matt.”

Calina groaned and sank back into the couch. The puppy took it as her cue to jump up on her lap. She managed the leap with no problem, and Calina could tell she was going to be big once she reached her true size. She looked like a cross between a husky and a German shepherd, and her fur was thick and soft when Calina sank her fingers into it. She continued to pet the dog as she explained the events of last night.

“So, thank you, Anya,” she said at the end of the tale. “For being so thorough in your description of my fake sexcapade with Ranieri that he’s never forgotten that night.”

Anya winced. “Sorry.”

Calina shook her head. “No, it’s not your fault. This was probably always destined to happen - Matt finds it hard to trust people, and I have a history of lying to him. What’s that phrase? ’Irreconcilable differences’?”

“I don’t believe that,” Katya said. “You’re not irreconcilable. You’ll get past this, just like your other..hurdles.”

Calina laughed at the word 'hurdle', which felt like a massive understatement. “I’m not so sure this time.” Her voice broke, and she could feel the barrier around her emotions start to break down, the numbness start to wear off, so she quickly changed the subject before the tears followed. “But enough about that. Tell me what you found, Anya.”

Anya didn’t have to be asked twice. She launched into a detailed explanation of how she searched Ranieri’s emails and his entire internet footprint via a software program she'd designed which utilised AI…until Katya had to beg her to get to the point. “Please, just give us the bullet point summary!”

“Okay, fine. It turns out Ranieri and Cross were boarded together at the same school in Switzerland for a brief period - before Ranieri was expelled for drug use, and Cross’ family emigrated to New York.”

“So they’ve known each other all this time?” Calina asked.

Anya shrugged. “It’s unclear how friendly they were for most of it, but their communications definitely increased over the past couple of years. It looks like Ranieri was hustling on the side with Cross. He liked being in league with Volkov, but he had no loyalty, and he wasn’t as fanatical about the mission as Volkov was. He was in it for the money and power, and he saw no problem with stealing from Volkov to help him get in with another powerful man.”

“So he was the one that sent Aminev to Cross. He basically gave his old school friend a Black Widow assassin,” Katya added.

“That was the plan,” Anya clarified. “But Aminev got greedy. He was supposed to just hand over the tech to Cross, but he set himself up as the middle-man instead, getting paid to control Calina on behalf of Cross. But he fucked that up and got himself killed instead.”

“It’s a wonder Cross trusted Ranieri after that,” Calina mused. Cross didn’t seem the type to suffer incompetence in his associates.

“It didn’t matter. Ranieri had already done enough to secure his place in Cross’ inner circle.”

“How?” Calina asked.

“By giving him an old Red Room formulation. It had been superseded by the mind control serum, so Ranieri figured Volkov wouldn’t notice when the last remaining vials went missing.”

“What was the formulation?” Katya asked.

Calina had a sinking feeling she knew exactly what it was. “It was the fear pheromone, wasn’t it?”

Anya nodded. “A rudimentary version compared to what’s on the streets now. But yes.”

“So it all started with Ranieri,” Katya said, shaking her head in disbelief. “He gave Cross the idea of the fear pheromone, the basic formula to improve upon, and he even tried to guarantee his supply of the main ingredient - Arsonium Bromide - by giving him a Black Widow. That slimy, inbred piece of Italian trash started this whole thing.”

“Well, technically, the Red Room started it all,” Anya countered. “They came up with the fear pheromone in the first place.”

Calina let out a bitter laugh. “Of course it all started with them. All the pain that Cross caused with his experiments to perfect the pheromone, all the lives he ruined and the people he killed…it all stems back to the Red Room. To us. This is our legacy.”

Katya scowled at her. “What are you talking about? This isn’t on us. This is on Dreykov, and Volkov and all those other assholes in the Red Room. Our legacy will be stopping Cross - we're going to help you and Matt take him down.”

Calina nodded. She knew Katya was right. She and the other Widows were as much victims as those Cross had experimented on. They weren’t culpable. She was just feeling extra resentful and scathing about her past and her association with the Red Room this morning.

For obvious reasons.

And she wasn’t sure how she’d be able to work with Matt again on this, or anything else, but she appreciated her sisters' support. “Thanks, guys. For finding all this out, and for coming to check on me this morning. And for letting me pet the dog - I think it helped.” She smoothed her hand over one floppy ear and scratched behind it. The puppy immediately rolled over and offered her stomach for extra pets. Calina laughed and complied.

“Speaking of the dog, why don’t you come with us while we take her for a walk. Clear your head a bit.”

Calina nodded. “Sounds good.”

Some fresh air and a playful puppy sounded infinitely better than wallowing in her bed alone for the rest of the day.

———

As Matt left the gym, the sun was high in the sky and the working day was starting for his fellow New Yorkers. The traffic on the streets was growing, and the sound of shutters being raised on storefronts drowned out the chorus of birdsong.

Matt checked the time on his watch. He could head to the office...but he wasn't sure he was in the right head space for work this morning. And he didn't feel like going back to his apartment - not when Calina's absence would be palpable. Not when the air would still hold her scent - that would be more of a torment than a comfort right now.

So he walked. For hours. Aimlessly. Down tree-lined streets and across concrete avenues shaded by high rise buildings. He walked, concentrating on the feel of the ground beneath his feet and the steady beat of his heart, trying not to think about the fight with Calina. About how he could gain her forgiveness. About the possibility that he might never do so.

He walked…and eventually found himself outside Clinton church. For the second time in just over 24 hours.

God, had it only been a day?

Everything felt so different now. Not just in terms of the shock invasion from above, but the tumult in his own life. Yesterday he was planning to introduce his mother to the love of his life. Yesterday he felt such a sense of hope and optimism.

But now…

It was all gone.

“Matthew?”

Speaking of his mother…

“Maggie,” he replied.

Something in his voice must have worried her. Or maybe she caught sight of the blood staining the bandages over his hands. Either way, she came rushing over. “What’s wrong. What happened?” She took hold of his arm and guided him down the steps to the rectory attached to the church. He took a seat at the small kitchen table while she fussed over him, removing his bandages and cleaning his damaged skin with warm water.

It was strange. This church, the people in it - Maggie, Father Lantom - were the source of so much of the betrayal that had shaped him. And yet he still returned to it. Again and again.

Was it a form of masochism?

Or was he subconsciously searching for answers? For an explanation.

“Why did you do it?” he asked, his voice barely more than a whisper.

Maggie paused in the act of washing his wounds. “What?”

“Why did you let me believe I was all alone in the world?”

“Oh, Matthew.” Maggie dropped the cloth she’d been using and took the seat next to him. “I- I was so young when I had you. And I was so confused. I thought I was betraying God-”

“I’m not talking about that,” he bit out. “I know you were young. I know about the post partum depression. I don’t blame you for any of that. I want to know about later. When my Dad died, afterwards, my whole life…you let me believe I was alone. You lied to me. Father Lantom lied to me. I- I just need to know why.”

“Why are you asking this now? I thought you’d found it in your heart to forgive us.”

Matt laughed. “So did I. And maybe I have forgiven you. But the damage was done regardless.”

“What damage? You said everything you’ve been through led you to becoming Daredevil, and that you were content with that.”

“With that part of my life, yes. But the rest of my life? No so much.”

“What are you talking about. Tell me what happened.”

Matt sprang up from the chair and poked a finger in his chest. “I happened! I fucked it all up with Calina, because I couldn’t trust her. Because I couldn’t banish these thoughts that she was lying to me. Betraying me. Because that’s what I’m used to. That’s what I expect from the people who claim to care about me, and its ruining my fucking life!”

Matt turned away and gripped the edges of the sink, head bowed, as he tried to get hold of his rage. He could feel Maggie approach, then tentatively lay a hand on his shoulder. He fought the urge to shrug off her comfort, but a part of him didn’t want to undo all the progress they’d made together.

He didn’t want to do or say something in anger that would ruin this relationship too. But he was just so goddam frustrated! He could feel years of resentment bubbling up to the surface.

Maggie must have sensed it, because she finally gave him the answers he craved. “When your father was alive,” she said, in a faltering voice, “I convinced myself that coming to you, and telling you the truth would just hurt you. Confuse you too much. Then, after he died, I convinced my self that it would do more harm than good. Eventually…I realised the truth.”

“Which was?”

“I’m a coward, Matthew. I was too scared to face you, and own up to the biggest mistake of my life. To save myself from that, I hurt you instead. And I’m so, so sorry for that.” She pressed on his arm, getting him to turn and face her. When he did, she reached up to take his face in her hands. “But you, Matthew Murdock, are not a coward. You are the bravest man I’ve ever known. And the strongest. It takes both to be able to love someone - it isn’t something that weak people do.”

“I do love Calina. So much. But I just don't know how to give her that last little piece of my trust.”

“My dear boy, that’s where the courage comes into play. It’s a leap of faith to give over your heart and your trust to someone else, never knowing for sure if they’ll keep them safe. You just have to be brave and jump. I have a feeling that Calina won’t squander those gifts.”

“But will she trust me with her heart now? After the things I accused her of…”

“Only she can decide that. But you need to go and find out. Fight for her. Don’t just hole yourself up hitting bags of sand - figure out a way to win her back instead.”

Matt nodded. And then, because he was feeling so drained and emotional, and because she was standing so close, he gave in to the impulse to drop his head down to her shoulder. Maggie froze for a fraction of a second before wrapping her arms around him. He hooked one arm around her waist…and they were hugging.

His first ever hug from his mother.

He could feel in the slight tremble in her frame how much it meant to her. It meant just as much to him.

And he knew he needed to let it go. All of the resentment. All of the anger at her betrayal. Father Lantom’s lies. Even Elektra and Stick's offences against him. Everything.

He needed to truly forgive and move on - for his sake, for Maggie’s, and for Calina most of all.

Because he wanted to be a better man for her.

After a few long moments, he stepped away from the embrace. “Thanks Maggie. I, um, should get going, I guess.”

“To Calina?” she asked, in a slightly bossy tone.

“Yes,” he laughed. “To Calina.”

“Good.”

Matt stepped back out into the bright spring morning, feeling a renewed sense of hope. He wouldn’t let things end with Calina this way. He wouldn’t let things end at all. He loved her. And he knew she loved him. He just had to convince her to give him another chance.

And he was a lawyer - convincing people was one of the things he did best.

He set off back in the direction of this apartment, already mentally composing his speech to Calina. His grovelling, heartfelt and earnest declaration that would hopefully persuade her to take him back. In fact, he was concentrating so hard on what he would say to her, that he missed the first warning signs that something was wrong in the city.

Very, very wrong.

But then he heard the first scream. His head jerked up at the sound trying to pinpoint the location. That’s when another scream rang out, from a different direction. Then the sounds of multiple cars crashing all over the city. A plane going down in the distance...

And beneath all that noise, and chaos…a terrible, eerie silence was growing in the world. As if thousands of heartbeats and breaths and voices were just…disappearing. Being snuffed out at once.

That horrible absence grew and grew, and with it, Matt’s fear. He started running, that same urge from yesterday overtaking him - the desperate need to get to Calina. He barrelled past other pedestrians on the street, those who were rooted in place, looking around in terror. He felt himself run through flakes of…something. Too warm to be snow. Too insubstantial to be leaves or bits of paper floating in the air. He didn’t stop to figure it out, he just kept running.

Until suddenly, he started to feel...strange.

As if the ground was no longer beneath his feet. As if the air was no longer brushing against his skin. As if all his senses were dulled. He staggered to a halt, and grasped his chest, as if to reassure himself he was still…him. But his hand vanished before it could make contact.

There was no pain. No sensation to it at all. He w a s

j u s t

c o

t…

————–

END OF PART 3

————–

Well, for those of you who aren't familiar with Avenger's Infinity War...the BLIP just happened! And I don't actually know for sure if Matt was blipped in canon or not, but in my story he was.

Poor guy!

Find out how he deals with it here...

Part 4, chapter 1

Tag list: @hollandorks @stilldreaming666 @sio-ina-bottle @tearoseart-blog @acharliecoxedfan @freckledbabyyy @chezagnes

If you’d like to be added - let me know!

#daredevil #daredevil fic #tabula rasa #daredevil fanfic #daredevil fanfiction #daredevil x original female character #matt murdock #marvel's daredevil #matt murdock fanfic #matt murdock x oc #marvel mcu #daredevil fandom

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randoimago · 7 months

Note

Requests are open again :0 I've loved the stuff you've written!

Could I request Akihiko, Aigis and Ryoji with an S/O that's really into acting? Maybe they do some together :3

Hope you have a wonderful day!

Fandom: Persona 3

Character(s): Aigis, Akihiko, Ryoji

Note(s): I'm playing through Reload rn and I cannot recall if there's a drama club at this school. I know P4 has one (can't remember if P5 has one) but I wish there was more drama/theater stuff in Persona games (guess their lives are dramatic enough 😔).

Aigis

She can tell when you're lying as you're reading lines and acting overdramatically. She just doesn't quite understand why you're doing it. She has heard that lying is bad, but you're doing it in a way that others find entertaining and it's something new for her to perceive and attempt to understand.

You mention that it's acting, something that she also has heard of but didn't really put too much thought into. Doesn't quite understand what you want when you hand her the script and ask that she reads lines with you.

She reads it and you try to get her to put more emotion into it, something she has to remind you that she doesn't technically have since she's a machine. But she tries to mimic how angry Yukari gets at Junpei or how perfect Mitsuru is. She's definitely not cut out to be an actor, but she likes how happy you seem.

Akihiko

Akihiko doesn't know a whole lot about acting, but he has seen how much the drama club and you put into it. It makes him happy when he notices how happy you are telling him all about it.

So he's glad that you put your energy into something that you like. But he also knows that he could never be an actor because he's just not built that way, he'd be awkward on a stage in front of others.

Now when you ask him to read lines with you, he hesitates and tries to make excuses about not being a good partner to practice with you. But he'll give in if you insist. Aki really is awkward, but he tries to help you, probably pausing when he hears how real the emotions from your voice sounds. He has to remind himself that he's helping you practice even though he wants to just watch.

Ryoji

He thinks it's cool that you're into acting. He's discovered that he enjoys movies and stuff so he's definitely routing for you to end up in one of those films some day.

Ryoji will 100% be happy to help act with you. It's mostly him just reading the lines of the other person that'd be in the scene with you, but he is so overly dramatic with it. Especially if it's like a romantic play you're in. He's going to go above and way beyond.

Now, if he's learning that you're acting for some play and there's a kiss scene then he's going to pout at you. Sure, he gets that it's acting and doesn't mean anything. But he still isn't a huge fan of the idea of someone else getting kissed by you even if it is acting. Maybe he'll be more accepting if you gave him twice as many kisses...

Taglist: @reo-the-leo @abellaheart-blog

#Anonymous #persona 3 x reader #ryoji x reader #ryoji mochizuki x reader #akihiko x reader #akihiko sanada x reader #aigis x reader

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shinjisdone · 7 months

Text

So I've recently have been obsessed with the idea of an Yandere Self-aware video game character and how they'd mess with the game

Its mmmmmmmmm super specific but I've been thinking about Makoto Yuki from Persona 3 a lot ;.;

Like- uughhh imagine you've been playing the original P3, P3FES AND P3P like the FREAK THAT U ARE and Makoto knows you!! He remembers you. And now you're back again with Reload.

Spoilers for P3 and Makoto's character and arc but will be mentioning when spoilers end:

Makoto to me is like ✨perfect✨ because a character who canonically would not care about dying and being hurt but caring for others

And then realizing he is in a video game which gives him a sense of doom???

At the very end of each game, he is going to die. But at the end it also means nothing when you press New Game again.

He goes through his year in Iwatadoi and actually starts living and caring for others and himself. More for others since he is ready to peacefully sacrifice himself.

And then, it happens all over again. The same places, the same people, the same shadows and events and deaths.

You are the one causing all of this and he doesn't know what to think of it. He never really cared until he did but now nothing seems real? Should he care then?

Even if all these repeating steps still feel real to him and fulfill him? When he feels you guiding him to make the right choices, when he hears you being so immersed into the game?

It all means nothing in the end. But you keep coming back, the real thing. You bring him such fullfillness and bonds and even though it will all be severed, it will happen again.

He oddly looks forward to it. To living and dying.

So he looks forward to you.

END OF SPOILERS BUT GAME MECHANICS WILL BE MENTIONED:

Imagine Makoto just over time beginning to mess with the game either in favor to you or to build an connection with you too:

Makoto already knows what will happen. Story cutscenes will be done with quickly in a way that you won't notice. For him, it's just seperating the time he could spend with you.

Special characters such as Igor, Elizabeth and Pharos could have an hunch that something is off. The remaining cast would react a but differently when Makoto acts out-of-character but are ultimately coded to not care.

If certain items or personas are wanted by you, Makoto will rig the game to have those drop more often for you.

He cannot say many lines since he is not supposed to speak a lot. But small lines, like during battle, change slowly and seem to be more directed at you. Such things as "What shall we do?" and "I'll end this quickly, don't worry."

"I'm strong enough to take on the Reaper if thats what you want."

The UI will seem like it's staring right at you.

When in battle and you need a certain crit or whatever, Makoto will go on all out in his turn - especially when he hears you praising him ("Yo, go, Makoto! That's my boy!") It makes him melt.

Fuuka would then say something akin like, "Wow, our leader is on fire!"

This is another point that differntiates the others from you in his eyes.

You give him a name. He doesn't even know if it his real one but he feels so much more accepted than being called "leader" by the others.

They cannot THINK of an name. But you can.

Makoto will smile much more even at the beginning of the game. Characters will point out how odd it is but he will make sure to hide it quickly.

It's mostly noticable during idle animations but once he notices that you might be staring, he'll hide as if he were shy.

The many lyrical songs will have different meanings and words sung. Slowly you will note that this isn't Lotus Juice singing anymore but a completely, different and artificial one somewhat hiding behind the lyrics and whispering sweet nothings to you.

You may hear completely new songs that are bursting with love and romance (Color Your Night comes to mind)

Dialouge options also change more on how he REALLY feels. Knowing the best answer at a test (he'll give you a hint), dislike for an activity (but he'll do it for you), his real thoughts towards characters or jealousy when romancing someone.

("Riding out until the day I meet you,)

(I look up to the sky, asking lotta "Why?")

("I watch out for all surprises, what it provides us, ...n҉o҉t҉h҉i҉n҉g҉ u҉n҉t҉i҉e҉s҉ u҉s҉.҉"҉)

("You know you leave me in a trance, ͕͗i͕͕͗͗t͕͗ ͕͗m͕͕͗͗e͕͕͗͗a͕͕͗͗n͕͕͗͗s͕͗ ͕͗e͕͕͗͗v͕͕͗͗e͕͕͗͗r͕͕͗͗y͕͕͗͗t͕͕͗͗h͕͕͗͗i͕͕͗͗n͕͕͗͗g͕͗ ͕͗t͕͕͗͗o͕͗ ͕͗m͕͕͗͗e͕͕͗͗.͕͗") ("Always watching over me s҉o҉m҉e҉h҉o҉w҉, you make me feel invincible...")

Since you are a sane person, you of course dislike Kenji.

So when you have to drag yourself to his social links, Makoto will actually skip them while you can still obtain all perks. It's like you see Kenji's face as he suddenly looks shocked before the entire event is skipped. Makoto waits at the entrance patiently for you. He doesn't want you to suffer :(

In such intinces of romance however, Makoto cannot hold himself back. He usually goes with whatever you choose since he wants to make you happy but he has to draw a line when romancing characters/maxing out social links.

A part of him understands they are all game characters...but the more frequent you choose to romance, no matter in which game, the more anxious he becomes.

When you always choose one person, he wonders if they are your favorite and not him. The same when you choose others in other playthroughs and don't get me started in the harem routes.

And they are all females as well. Do you like girls? Only girls? How about him, can he have a place in your heart?

MAKOTO doesn't like Yukari, Fuuka, Aigis, MItsuru, Yuko or Chihiro...HE likes YOU.

So all of this 'dating' feels like lying to him. To himself and his feelings and especially to you...at first he can tolerate it all if it means it makes you happy dating these people.

But you shouldn't be liking anyone else anyway.

So after a while, he has had enough. Dating is done impossible in all the games now through a kind of 'glitch' or all social links will be immediately reversed. The moment you get a chance at an romatinc dialogue option, Makoto will promptly choose the thing that will ruin your chances - by letting out his TRUE thoughts.

"I know you dont like me, Yukari, so stop pretending." "I hate the way you are so clingy, Chihiro." "A robot can't care for people. Only real people outside of games can."

He will be at his most noticable then and might not hide himself from you anymore. He just wants to be with you and give him the feeling of being alive again and again and again.

#persona 3 #makoto yuki #persona 3 makoto #yandere #self aware yandere #yandere persona 3 #yandere makoto yuki #BRAINROT #rambling on and on #yandere character

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akechi-stole-my-heart · 1 year

Text

no more what ifs - a goro akechi meta

Inspired by a meta I reblogged a bit ago. It was really good and you should read it, as it serves as a good companion piece to this analysis, but it didn't analyze the song through the specific lens I personally believe it's meant to be seen through--that is, the Third Semester/Maruki's reality. Don't get me wrong, I think the song can be applied to Akechi in general, just that we can't truly understand the depths of its meaning unless we view it through the lens of what Akechi is feeling in the Third Semester. Needless to say, that's what I'll be doing here.

People come and they go Some people may stay with you though I am all alone tonight and I kept on Asking myself questions

Akechi has lived most of his life alone. People have come and gone temporarily, but no one has really stuck until Joker entered his life. (I don't think I need to make the case that it's Joker he's talking about when he says some people stay with you, I think it's pretty obvious it has to be him.) Joker, someone he can't comprehend, the only person he's let in. Akechi can't understand Joker, so naturally, he's constantly thinking of him, and why he's stuck with him when so many others haven't.

Conceited I was at time I never really doubted myself But tonight got me thinking about it all If I am the fool or what not

All Akechi can do in the Third Semester is think about his choices and his mistakes and wonder if he did the right thing and what led him here. He's been forced to live (for now) after everything he'd worked and lived for fell apart under him. He's reflecting on his past arrogance and how that blinded him.

"If I am the fool or what not" holds a double meaning. Akechi is doubting if he was a fool in the general sense, if he was made a fool for his plan of revenge. But he's also wondering if he was the Fool in the Persona sense of the word (something that will have a payoff at the end of the song).

I do not Regret with my choices I'm rather proud Ooh I know I won't change Anything Because I can only be me so

Akechi can't afford regret. To regret would be to admit that Maruki's ideal reality, where his choices were erased, has any hold on him. To regret would be to let go of the person he is and the person he has become.

Who Akechi really is is another topic that can be elaborated on ad nauseum, so I won't do that here. Maybe I'll do that another time when I finally write the meta about Akechi and agency that's been living in my head for a long while.

Suffice to say, Akechi believes his choices, his actions, his revenge, all define him. He refuses to let Maruki erase them just because they don't fit with his ideal reality. Akechi is fundamentally incompatible with everything Maruki stands for, and he knows it.

How can I be so sure? At a crossroads I'm afraid too But I can't let fear get the best of me Someone once said burn my dread babe

"Burn my dread" is a reference to a song from Persona 3. I haven't played the entire game as of yet, but Persona 3 is a game all about facing and accepting death. "Burn my dread" is a lyric that points to this theme, and the theme of facing one's fears head-on.

Akechi is dead. He knows this perhaps from the very moment he comes back to life. He certainly knows it for most of the Third Semester. He is dead, and to reject Maruki's reality, to embrace himself, is to face that death for the second time, and accept it. But Akechi can't let his fear of death stop him from making his choice. He will die on his own terms and "burn his dread."

Who knows what tomorrow holds? Just wanna live my life the way I want What fills up my soul is passionate Music that makes me want to sing

This is, yet again, Akechi asserting that he will be himself, that he will find meaning in life on his own terms, and that he will not let anyone other than himself define who he is or what he wants. Music is dynamic and complex, something that can express deep truths of one's soul. The Jazz Jin, a place of music, is Akechi's in a way very little else is. It's not Shido's puppet's, not the Detective Prince's, but Akechi's place of solitude and self reflection. It is the place he decides to share with Joker--in a way, he is baring his very soul to Joker. Letting him into his heart.

My story will be starring me just like yours ooh ooh Who knows when will it end What matters most is how you bring joy to life so

This is paying off the beginning of the song. Akechi is asserting that the world doesn't revolve around Joker. Goro is the Fool, he is the main character, he is not defined by anyone but himself and himself alone.

And the last two lines simply restate themes running throughout the song. Akechi is himself. He will accept his death when it comes, and he will not live by anyone's rules but his own.

No More What Ifs shows us the doubt that Akechi rarely expresses that runs deep to his core. Wondering if he made a mistake in isolating himself, wondering if Joker was right all along, wondering if and how things might have gone wrong.

But Akechi can't let himself doubt for long. He always comes back to that certainty that he can't be anyone but himself. He can't let anyone change him. He can't let go of who he is, not for anything. The song is full of him reassuring himself of his path--that no matter what, he will not regret. He can't afford it. He will not waver from his path.

Now, more than ever, after being faced with the consequences of his mistakes and being offered an out, Akechi has to assert his free will and defy Maruki. And that's what this song expresses.

#sera posts #goro akechi #akechi goro #p5r #p5r spoilers #akeshu #shuake #sera talks goro

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trlvsn · 1 year

Text

of course phoenix's second "first" case is helping the performer girl with the diamond-shaped earrings who forces smiles and sort of tricks him when they first meet. i mean. what else is there to say (i'm going to say a lot, this is a long post about the orca case and it's references to aa4)

i'm going to talk about sasha first, though, even if the similarities between her and trucy might be coincidental rather than intentional. here is a somewhat full list of them:

1. diamond-shaped earrings and a big hat they wear at all times

2. perform for an audience for a living and are genuinely passionate about it

3. the "smile during showtime" attitude being not only something they use on the clock, but a motto overall (buckler tries to keep a smile and cheer phoenix and athena up in the detention center: see image below list)

4. have a persona with a moustache that they use in their performances (see image below list)

5. their first encounter with phoenix is an unintentional deception on their part: trucy gives him forged evidence and buckler, well, doesn't tell him the client is technically an animal and isn't even considered to be someone who can be brought to court for a trial

6. phoenix chooses to help them out after a trial ends unexpectedly (zak dissapearing, buckler being accused)

7. does a dead "father figure" count? i feel like it might.

you get the idea. again, i'm not claiming this was intentional: i am simply pointing it out.

btw. you know what he does right after taking the orca case (accepting the "deception")?

he goes to the pub o'danger, a place totally different from the, oh, i don't know. the borsht bowl club. intentional or not, this is a nice blast from the past, because we get a lot of his beanix personality showing throughout the case. a good example is the bloody "trump card" he presents:

basically, a bloody piece of evidence that turns the case around and gives him a chance to prove the truth turns out to be not what it seems. this case is one of those very rare times aa5 doesn't completely erase phoenix's aa4 (and trilogy) personality, i think. just look at the way he starts straight up manipulating people at some points:

it's very much like beanix: well-intentioned and careful pressing of the right buttons. i enjoyed that a lot.

speaking of phoenix's personality, a thing he does a lot more than he used to is staying silent. his thinking sprite while he does that is one of the only aa5 ones that have traces of his aa4 self in it: he is looking to the side, relaxed, calmly examining everything he has so far. at a certain point in this trial, athena actually gets to scream "objection" before him. she says she heard it in his heart that he's not willing to give up yet, so she spoke for his heart instead.

honestly, athena is a walking metaphor for phoenix's badge in this case. athena and phoenix get frequently addressed as the blue and yellow duo by deplume, which you might as well call phoenix and his badge; phoenix wears his badge like one wears a heart on their sleeve, and this entire case is his journey of learning trust and hope again (but i will talk about that later for a nice conclusion).

the case also has a sub-plot of sorts: specifically, the TORPEDO system. oh, you know the one with the capital letter name that is illegal in japan but would actually help a lot and work really well and is introduced to us by some shady guy who we think is a criminal... what do you mean that's MASON. like a jar?

"but, in some cases, lives can be saved by breaking the law. do we simply allow the lives of our animals to be lost whole we wait for the laws to change?"

if aa5 actually had the jury system happening in the game, this would make so much more sense. unfortunately, i'm not sure if this was an intentional parallel, but i'm sure going to talk about it regardless. it's illegal means for the greater good, introduced to us by the guy we are totally meant to suspect and misinterpret as the audience, just like we are meant to be put off by beanix in aa4-1. we later learn that ms deplume is trying to change the law and make the system legal in japan, and dr. crab won't be getting into any serious trouble for it, too.

we honestly learn a lot of new information that contradicts our prejudices that the game purposefully creates. a lot of people in this case can be suspected even based on their design - ms deplume in her shady glasses and shady attitude, dr crab with his twenty-something dead girlfriend (wasn't actually, btw. purely platonic situation there, which is surprising for ace attorney) and actual motive, and, of course, rimes. turns out, for the first time in forever, none of them did it. wasn't a murder.

phoenix, though, like the player, has no choice but to suspect. he doubts, he recharges the magatama, he changes theories and he, at the end of it all, gets his faith and trust back by saying "hey, actually, rimes didn't do it, it was an accident", despite rimes staying silent. i honestly think rimes is a mirror of sorts for phoenix's character - the guy who is, at his core, tired of being too "weak" to help anyone, so he doesn't speak up much for himself, and isn't that what phoenix did in aa4?

phoenix didn't try to defend himself when the diary page was revealed to be forged. phoenix didn't try to defend himself seven years later, saying "maybe i did it, maybe i didn't". phoenix didn't even create the jury system to redeem himself.

how can ya trust a creature that can't speak, indeed.

in this trial, phoenix is the orca and is the rimes and is athena the fire and i am the forest and i am the witness watching it. he is defending the creature that can't speak, and the man that didn't mean for this to happen, and his own right to wear his badge. he loses his voice at times, but his heart speaks up. it takes him two trials to get back at his rightful place, the trial for orla and for buckler - just like it took the trial of aa4-1 and 4-4 to get justice. hope has returned, and no one did it, and you can trust them all.*

* - trusting them all really would make much more sense in the presence of the jury system. forever mourning her.

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mrsnancywheeler · 7 months

Note

Ok I’m back with the songs 🫡

I can’t remember if anyone else has mentioned this, but finnick/sweet girl are very much giving this is me trying by miss blondie herself

——————

I've been having a hard time adjusting. I had the shiniest wheels, now they're rusting” “And my words shoot to kill when I'm mad. I have a lot of regrets about that”

This reminded me a lot about their recent argument at the end of chapter 6, where sweet girl called him a liar and accused him of purposely playing mind games with her :(

——————

“And it's hard to be at a party when I feel like an open wound. It's hard to be anywhere these days when all I want is you. You're a flashback in a film reel on the one screen in my town”

THIS MIGHT JUST BE FINNICKS ENTIRE INNER MONOLOGUE AFTER THEY BROKE UP #IDK !! OR !! HIS THOUGHTS DURING READER’S GAMES! How he has to keep up appearances and his playboy persona to make sure his sweet girl gets sponsors, but he’s actually feeling so much grief and stress.

——————

Another song they remind me of is Wasteland, Baby! But specifically:

“I’m in love, I'm in love with you. And I love too, that love soon might end. Be known in its aching”

Just reminded me about how they’re meant to go through tragedy :((

——————

BONUS SONGS!

we can't be friends (wait for your love) by Ariana Grande’s SCREAMS young!reader going through the breakup with Finnick :((

——————

“We can't be friends, but I'd like to just pretend. You cling to your papers and pens, wait until you like me again. Wait for your love”

Just her initial reaction to the breakup and how she still loves him :((

——————

“I don't like how you paint me, yet I'm still here hanging”

“Me and my truth, we sit in silence. Baby girl, it's just me and you. ‘Cause I don't wanna argue, but I don't wanna bite my tongue, yeah, I think I'd rather die. You got me misunderstood, but at least I look this good” This reminds me of when Finnick was saying all those things he didn’t mean about his sweet girl, and although she’s hurt by it she still loves him (and deep down she knows he doesn’t mean it!)

——————

And Comfort Crowd by Conan Gray is so them coded like PLEASE mainly about how reader keeps rejecting any comfort because she doesn’t feel like she deserves it + how she was afraid to voice that she wants said comfort during her hijacking

——————

“Wellin' up in tears as I lay upon your belly. Telling you, ‘I’m fine I don't really need nobody,’ But you say through a sigh that I said that lie already”

Need I say more.

——————

“And even if I cry all over your body. You don't really mind. Say you like your shirt soggy.”

This could go for both Finnick and Reader! About how they both feel guilty for receiving comfort from the other person (Finnick bc he wants to give comfort too, and Reader bc she feels like she doesn't deserve it)

——————

I hope this isn’t too long hehe but these were my #thoughts. I’m a yapper at heart <3 lmk what you think!!

BUT SIDENOTE I SAW HADESTOWN FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT W JORDAN FISHER AND !! His performance was fr giving me finnick vibes bc he was really giving that obsessed yearner vibe IDK HOW TO EXPLAIN IT LOL but it was so good!!

-🦅

buckle up folks because I love a lot to say 🫡❤️

this is me trying is so them, like very heavily

they're both really at their core such sunshiney people who've been so broken down and used by the world that they've really been dulled. and reader is always quick to bite back, especially when she's scared or frustrated or doesn't want to reveal her emotions, she doesn't have a complete grasp on reality yet, she's scared of being left behind, scared that finnick will die, scared of being alone and frustrated that he broke his promise to her so she lashes out.

110% to both of those, like he's so broken up, aching for her, in pain, blaming himself for everything, but he has to be what's expected of him. some drinks, laughing, flirting, smiling, when all he wants to do his curl up in bed crying as he holds into some remant of hers that he held onto all this time.

in the context of the most recent chapter "I just wanted you to know that this is me trying" is so very much both of them for different reasons

finnick says the things he does and does what he does because he wants to help her get better, to be delicate with her, keep her safe, keep her protected from the dangers of the time and her mental state. he's trying his hardest even if he doesn't always handle it in ways that bode well.

reader is trying to be herself again, she just wants to be treated normally regardless of how that affects her. once she's her she'll be less paranoid, more trusting, she's trying so hard to replicate that so she can get there and feels like he's not letting her. that her attempts are being shut down.

they are the tragic lovers, so in love, so obsessed, and constantly fated for hurt after hurt. all I'm saying is to watch moulin rouge and think of them because it's so finnick and his sweet girl in another life.

LITERALLY THOUGH if she could've she would've followed him around like a lost puppy dog, it would have fed into the narrative about her, but she's so desperately in love that she would have waited so patiently. in a way she did, but if he'd told her he was breaking up with her for other girls she was so young and so already achingly in love with him that she would have kept trailing around waiting for him to come baxk

(side note, finnick is really the love sick puppy, but reader reminds me of a stray cat who picks someone to love, always waits to be fed by them. given a little bit of attention and now will be attached for the long run. I thought googles description was really funny because it's just so her "With time and patience, a stray cat may trust you and want pets consistently. If you have grown close to a stray cat, it may feel upset or distressed if you suddenly leave it." so yeah she's a stray cat who finally got some love before being suddenly stranded again)

ANYWAYS yes, the way he talks about her and paints the portrait of their relationship is so hurtful. she totally cries about it consistently because to her he's perfect, and although she largely wants to believe what he said when they broke up and trust he still loves her, a part of her can't help but feel so stupid for letting herself be lead on by someone who's been said to be a playboy anyway. it makes her so insecure, so much more guarded, but she doesn't hate him, no she could never. she's in love with him. no matter what he says or does she's long placed her roots and won't tear them up.

that's literally the most them interaction to have never ever interacted, some of her tears have welled up, she's choking on pushed down sobs, and insisting that she's okay even though Finnick can read her like a book. he's softly scolding her for lying while she continues to try and insist until she's completely broken down into sobs.

reader could have the roughest day ever and still insist that she's fine, comfort finnick, love on him, hold him, and he spends the time hating that he's enjoying the loving when she's so obviously lying, masking everything. it's such a paradox. meanwhile she feels terrible for aching comfort because of things she does, she wants to suffer, but the lure of giving into finnick's arms is too much sometimes. especially knowing that he loves her so much and so well. she just has to let herself take what she needs even if she hates herself or it later.

ofc this isn't too long pookie, I love hearing y'all's thoughts no matter how long, yap to me endlessly pookie, I'm a yapper too. ❤️

YAY EXCITING I would love to see Jordan Fisher as Orpheus, he's so talented. I'd die, and yes it's just so Finnick 😭💕

#wanda 💋#finnick odair x reader #finnick odair x y/n #the lakes #finnick odair #the river #finnick odair fluff #finnick odair angst #finnick odair x reader fluff #finnick odair x you #🦅 anon

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girlfriendsofthegalaxy · 7 months

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tuesday again 3/12/2024

beat breath of the wild and have no real interest in rot13’ing spoilers for a seven year old game. also early thoughts on the first couple hours in tears of the kingdom. so if you don’t want to see that don’t read the playing section

listening

there is a particular piece of exploring ambient music that plays in a particular cave in genshin impact's fontaine and i adored it. i kept going back to that cave to trigger the music. it reminds me very much of Erich Wolfgang Korngold, who won several Oscars for early Technicolor swashbucklers-- The Sea Hawk, The Adventures of Robin Hood, et al. this particular piece leans into it the most and really grabbed me bc that's what Fontaine is all about: the romanticism, the folk heroism, the seafaring swashbuckling. i wish they leaned into it a bit more across fontaine, but i haven't played since i got fired and had to give my laptop back so perhaps the last patch has more similar music?

the use of bells in this is super great and pulled my attention first, but the way it ends-- a sort of sliding violin halt, some woodwinds fluttering up, a flute twining in. i hope their composing team wins some fuckin awards this year bc all the genshin music is good but the fontaine music is really a cut above.

youtube

either you've seen enough lavish technicolor adventure movies to know what the fuck i'm on about or you haven't, i hope this makes sense for why i was so excited about hearing this particular style in such an unexpected medium. here actually listen to this

youtube

reading

The Water Outlaws by S.L. Huang, i think a post on here influenced me bc it promised gay genderfuckery but i put it on hold SO long ago i could not tell you when that was or what the post was. it’s not NOT gay and genderfucky. but that’s really not the point of the book. this also wasn’t the easy read i was expecting it to be. let's yoink both the photo and the pitch from macmillan:

Lin Chong is an expert arms instructor, training the Emperor's soldiers in sword and truncheon, battle axe and spear, lance and crossbow. Unlike bolder friends who flirt with challenging the unequal hierarchies and values of Imperial society, she believes in keeping her head down and doing her job. Until a powerful man with a vendetta rips that carefully-built life away. Disgraced, tattooed as a criminal, and on the run from an Imperial Marshall who will stop at nothing to see her dead, Lin Chong is recruited by the Bandits of Liangshan. Mountain outlaws on the margins of society, the Liangshan Bandits proclaim a belief in justice—for women, for the downtrodden, for progressive thinkers a corrupt Empire would imprison or destroy. They’re also murderers, thieves, smugglers, and cutthroats. Inspired by a classic of martial arts literature, S. L. Huang's The Water Outlaws are bandits of devastating ruthlessness, unseemly femininity, dangerous philosophies, and ungovernable gender who are ready to make history—or tear it apart.

this book kept me company through a particularly bad bout of insomnia and i did enjoy my time with it, i'm glad it exists in the world and i'm glad to have read it essentially in one sitting. if i owned a hard copy, i don't think i would hang on to it. it was Fine, it's simply not for me. a bit too chewy and for bigger fans of Chinese history and/or wuxia i think.

there is an extremely large cast of characters (i often found myself referring back to the dramatis personae) and quite grim in parts. sexual assault, cannibalism as revenge, a very realistic war. a lot of really terrible, really grievous things happen to bodies. the fight scenes are clear and competent and will in fact unfold in your head like a martial arts movie.

it does take quite a while to get going and unfolds more like a TV show than a political thriller movie. this is a fat fucking book. this is a twenty hour audiobook. it strongly benefits from shifting POVs over its length, Huang is particularly good at differentiating tone and what each character pays attention to for maximum effect. she's also really good at one of my favorite things, displays of political deftness where you can’t see how someone would have made any other choice. some really top tier leftist infighting

while it is gay and it is genderbending, i would not say discussions of sex and sexuality are at the forefront. this is a group that has been pushed to the margins for their gender and sexuality, but this is a book concerned with how they survive and there isn’t a lot of space for discussions that aren’t about survival. there’s no fucking on page, but this book did not advertise itself as a romance or erotica so i don’t fully understand other readers' criticisms here.

this is a very competently written book. i am not going to remember it in a month's time. i don't normally emphasize it to this degree bc i feel a little bad about going "meh" at this tale of women fighting for societal and personal freedom, something i too have done but with less gore, but there is a wide gray sea of books that are simply fine and i don't particularly love or particularly hate bc they weren't quite what i needed or what i expected at the time. so it goes.

watching

there is a revelation in Yellowstone season 3 episode 7 (picture unrelated i just like having a picture for each section) that made us (me, my bestie, my bestie’s husband) all SCREAM and have to pause it and leave the room for a moment to compose ourselves. the amount of Things per episode that happen in that show. they really fuckin use all of their forty-four minutes.

i watch so little modern prestige tv i i keep thinking about why this has its hooks in my brain so, and i think this is the same concept as homestuck and soap operas and war and peace: once you get sucked into a huge sprawling semi-nonsensical drama you are In It BayBee

playing

i didn't know lizalfos could do that. i don't like that. stop it.

somehow i had never gotten up to this platform near dueling peaks stables and was rewarded with...some arrows. but the sun rising turned the marsh all gold, and all the atmosphere shading was firing on all cylinders, and it looked real pretty. the weather in breath of the wild is fun.

i had been under the impression that the divine beasts had been slowly siphoning away ganon’s energy or something and had not realized that they were lining up shots and were the equivalent of little laser sniper dots. hearing that joyous musical cue and watching ganon get got by that tremendous beam of light was maybe the funniest moment in the game???

anyway did finally beat breath of the wild!!! did tear up at the end! im annoyed that the postgame just vworps you back immediately pre-castle but i get it from a game architecture perspective.

at the very last bit of the fight i fell off my horse who got stuck against the beast’s leg taking damage and i was SO scared it was going to kill my horse but we were ok!!! i think i overprepared for that fight. the thunderblight light ganon fight was way harder imo.

popping that map back open postgame and seeing a cheery little 43% completion in the corner was. good god. i had 105 shrines and 66/77 side quests, all but four of the shrine quests, and like 250 koroks. i guess the koroks count for way more than i thought??? or perhaps i didn’t actually discover as many named places as i thought??? i would probably have more coherent thoughts about the end of this game if i were not Extremely Depressed and wasn't able to immediately jump to tears of the kingdom. as it is, i feel sort of "huh. ok. that's checked off. next task: ganon But More"

on to tears of the kingdom: i love zelda with her little bi bob. i do NOT love link with longer hair. give him his ponytail back

i loooooove these little grotesques on the temple of time-- i was spoiled for the end of tears of the kingdom bc i watched my bestie’s husband play through the last three hours. i have just enough context to make everything more confusing. also, i was fully expecting the time skip to be like several thousands of years but it’s like a month at most???

it is So Funny to me that the lord of the mountain in the last game is an extremely rare occurrence you have to go visit at a specific place, and in this game he just wants his appy slices :) this is an excuse to talk about other rideable animals: i started a new switch profile to replay botw lo these many weeks ago, forgot to choose that one when starting totk, and don’t have any of the horses i spent the last month with :( the horses from my first playthrough several years ago are, quite frankly, not very good stats wise.

i went right to hebra to start the rito quest (where is the divine beast??? what has happened to the divine beasts???) but keep getting my shit kicked in one blow so i think i will fuck around the castle and do some more shrines. my overall impression is that this game is way more fiddly. there’s more Stuff to combine and keep track of. i wish i could premake fire and ice and bomb arrows instead of having to select them every time. that’s a lot of button presses in the middle of a fight. also my controller is succumbing to some fatal connectivity issues so this portion of the tuesdaypost may be slower for a bit. i will scrape up some money for a new controller bc this is a real loadbearing activity but it’s going to take a minute to ship to me i assume.

making

listen i deep cleaned my living/dining and bedroom today in a fit of remarkably productive anxiety, that’s about all that’s happening this week. i finished repainting some large frames, i framed one thing but don't like it, i fucked up framing another thing and i have put it back in the closet to simmer/until i remember how to measure things again

#tuesday again #tuesday again no problem

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