#i'm very hot and know how to communicate with people i'm just picky which i have to be bc i can't be flattening myself out anymore

[onyxhellebore]

My mother is engaging in some real Mrs. Bennett behavior and I am losing my MARBLES.

[hasufin]

Folks gotta stop lying, mkay?

It's been way the fuck out of control for a while.

The most egregious claim was, for a long time that you can caramelize onions in ten minutes. (The reality is closer to an hour; with extreme effort and special technique, if one isn't too picky about the quality of the result, you can halve that. If the stars align.)

And of course you see that kind of fudging in many recipes. They claim a recipe will take 15 minutes. And, you know, if you've actually got someone with a stopwatch timing exactly and only when you have a cooking utensil in hand and nothing else, and not counting the time in the oven... maybe. But probably not. But if you start a "half an hour" recipe an hour before you intend to eat, be assured that an hour and a half later you will still be hungry.

And let's talk baking times. I can't count how many times the recipe has proclaimed "Bake for 45 or until a toothpick comes out clean." The toothpick is not clean after 45 minutes, my friends. The internal temperature is... well, not safe, let's say. (And yes, I've checked my oven temperature. I'm fine. The recipes lie.) If it says bake for 45 minutes, expect an hour. I have one pumpkin bread recipe which yields a very nice loaf, but it takes well over an hour, not the insanely optimistic (and likely physically impossible) 40 minutes it claims.

But recently I've seen more and more recipes which say they're so so so simple. "Three ingredient coq au vin!" "Two ingredient cheesecake brownies!". Often you'll find that one ingredient is a very specific (and often regional) mix which you have to make per the directions, and some other recipe: the two ingredient cheesecake brownies turn out to be "brownies" and "cheesecake". The worst offender I've seen so far was a video for a "one ingredient" fried rice snack. Which, if you are familiar with the concept of frying, you realize is not possible at all. The actual ingredients were: rice - salt - garlic powder - hot pepper flakes - oil - curry powder - chicken stock. Which is a bit more than one. When someone called the vlogger out for his crimes against mathematics, he defensively proclaimed that the spices "don't count"; I'm rather more inclined to believe he can't count.

All of these lies point toward the same goal: to convince people that cooking is simple and fast and most of all easy. Busy people just don't have time for long, difficult recipes. And someone who doesn't cook regularly will get frustrated with complex cooking which requires significant skill to pull off. And that's a viewer who stops watching your videos. But the reality is, cooking is not simple, fast, or easy. It takes time and effort and skill. But if you tell someone they don't need any of those things, and then - predictably - they fail, they are going to feel angry, frustrated, and humiliated. Rather than "Wow, coq au vin is a complex recipe which requires very particular ingredients and a lot of effort to make correctly." they will say "I suck at cooking! I can't even make a three ingredient recipe! I hate this!"

Maybe we shouldn't be setting people up for failure? Wouldn't it be a good thing to communicate honestly and give people the tools to do well?

[cloudbells]

some of your posts actually got me thinking about these questions! i'm very curious how people feel about this sort of stuff, since my own fandom opinions are relatively mild and it got me wondering how other people's experiences compare...

so how about #'s 2 (for stony), #9 and #27 (other than frostshield??😉)

Thank you for the ask (and for creating the game)! Lol, I'm glad me and my inability to keep an opinion to myself was a part of the inspo <3 And sorry for the long wait!!!

2) What's your biggest stony pet peeve?

BIGGEST? Oh man, I'm not sure...Teenification of Tony Stark. He's written so...infantile and emotionally weak (I love vulnerability, but my word choice of him being written as weak is my gripe) in many Stony fics. It genuinely gets on my last nerve. He's damn near 40 in AV1. And he only gets older. And sure, maybe there's some arrested development there, but he isn't a damn child. He knows this. And actually conducts himself well enough in canon (in a way that matches his issues) but it's the fanon portrayal I don't like.

WAIT...I think I have something that's popular for the ship itself. Not very fan of the lengths that misunderstandings go for Steve and Tony...Like, I understand they aren't great at communication, but sometimes it gets to the point where I'm like, "It's passed dense and shot straight into pure asshole territory". I know a lot of people write like this because of CACW, but hot take, I don't think CW was so much of a communication or misunderstandings problem. I'll elaborate on this in a separate post, maybe. But the way misunderstandings are drawn out with seemingly no reason gets on my nerves, but it really depends. I can love misunderstandings, but it can't be something that's contrived for drama's sake.

Oh! Another one is in AUs where Steve was still Captain America, and Tony is still Iron Man, and Howard was still lovesick after Steve died and Tony knew all about Steve as a child....and then the AU has Steve undercover or something and Tony doesn't recognize Steve's face. LOL. This sounds specific, but this exact set up has happened enough to where it bothers me. Like, it's kind of funny though, how annoyed I get over it lmao.

9) What's something that bugs you in fanfiction that you encounter often but isn't necessarily a dealbreaker for you as a reader?

I have a lot of not-dealbreakers. Primarily because if I were to strictly stick to my vision of every possible portrayal, I'd have like 3 fics to read. I'm picky in theory, not so much in practice because I'm also extremely greedy. I'll give one each for Stucky and Stony.

Stucky: That Steve crashed the Valkyrie because he was so sad about Bucky dying. I talk a little about how much I generally dislike this trope here. I think it's a huge disservice to this character, I will never take it seriously, and I will never write it. But, it's not a dealbreaker as long as it's not repeatedly more than....let's say 3 times in a fic. Looking back, I already gave this answer, so an additional one - Bucky being community dick and then getting upset that Steve doesn't realize that Bucky wants him and the tone of the fic also supporting that Bucky has a right to be mad lol. It's a weirdly common narrative point in a lot of fics and I just don't care for it. It's actually one of the reasons I tend to stay away from pre-CATFA fics. This trope also happens in Stony too, now that I'm thinking about it. What's up with that?

Stony: I (unsurprisingly) have a few to choose from, but I'll say - when it's written like Steve was horrifically out of line or the aggressor in AV1. It's super common (from throwaway lines to paragraphs about how Steve was an asshole) and there is a fine line that this has to walk for me not to dip. Usually, it's a couple of line about it, which I can ignore.

27) What's something that you think [insert fandom/pairing] doesn't have nearly enough of that you're starving for?

I have an embarrassing amount of rare pairs that I ship and I've been itching for a chance to let them out (/ = romantic or sexual, & = platonic).

Steve & Wanda. Oh my goodness, I am absolutely starving for more fics that show their growing bond from AOU to CACW. I would eat it up. Even in AUs, honestly. I said in another ask that I dislike kidfics, but guess what I'm outlining right now involving kid!Wanda...I just think there is something to explore there with Steve's care towards Wanda in canon. I feel like he understands her, to an extent, and anything he doesn't understand, he tries to sympathize with. He reaches out to her and that's so, so important to me. Because I adore Wanda. So much.

Rumlow/Steve. I want to clarify, not so much as a romance pairing (though I have read a couple like that), but more so as a one-sided creepfest on Rumlow's end. Something about him feeling an erotized violence/hatred towards Steve is so delicious to me. In my mind, it's not even love/hate - it's obsession. Maybe even coupled with a childhood admiration morphing into a disturbed/twisted fixation on Steve. I think this Rumlow likes to see Steve hurt. I also think he hates to be kept away from him. He's not deluded enough to think that Steve loves him back, he in fact, probably loves how much Steve hates him after the Hydra reveal. Yum.

Carol & Steve. Nothing much to say here, but I'm sure it's not too surprising. Captain Marvel is my 2nd most-watched MCU movie after CATFA. And I think their stories and journeys and experiences are so, so amazingly similar that I cannot resist the temptation of wanting them to be in every scene together. The squeal I let out when she first met Steve probably broke a few records.

Can I get a little more obscure? I have Steve-ships with characters who aren't in the MCU. Here's a speedrun, no elaboration:

Din Djarin (The Mandalorian)/Steve Rogers

Kushina (Naruto) & Steve Rogers

Sesshomaru (Inuyasha) /Steve Rogers

Ginko (Mushishi) & Steve Rogers

Epsilon (Pluto) & Steve Rogers

Kurenai/Steve/Asuma (Naruto).

Izaya Orihara (Durarara) & Steve....or Izaya/Steve...Izaya would hate him so much haha.

[sleepyivoryrose]

i need to charge up my creativity...these last days I have quite a few ideas for stuff, but zero motivation for anything, spent a lot of time with napping or sleeping...

today I ate corn for lunch and now boiled potatoes with spinach...I'm still probably hungry afterwards, but I am working towards to at least eating a bit more healthy, even if it's not less.

(I am ashamed to say, that even as an adult, I am very picky with my vegetables. My grandma wasn't exactly someone who cooked a lot of it when I was a child, and my mother loves hotpots, but she cooked them on the other hand so often that I grew sick of it...my family says "Sae eats well!"...Sae eats well when the food is tasty for him. Sadly.)

But I'm trying to implement them slowly but surely in my diet (even though often I am too stubborn to eat the vegetables I bought and let them wilt. I hate when that happens, I'm such a manchild sometimes.)

And I hate wasting food. I did eat rotten food before, because I didn't want to waste it. Not very smart, I know. Actually, really fucking stupid. But when I think, that in meats case, an animal sacrificed himself so that I could live another day, I get really depressed and can't do it. It's like the animal dying was in vain, and it makes me angry.

I don't have the sheer will to turn vegetarian or even vegan, but the least I can do is honor the death of it, by making it a part of my own.

I heard that religion back in the prehistoric ages was all about being grateful for a good hunt, or having rituals so that the hunt might succeed. That included honoring the dying animal by painting it on the walls, or singing in the honor of its soul. That's also the reason why we like hearing singing with echo, like in churches or bathrooms- because the rituals were held in the caverns, and it reminds some primitive part of us of those ages. Don't quote me on that though, it's been years since I last heard of that theory.

Going back to the food talk...(sorta) It's going to be really hot again this week. I was hoping that it would be tolerable before my big appointment, but I don't seem to be in gods grace right now. Which is okay. He's already good enough with me as it is. Sometimes, you just gotta sack it up and endure.

Which means - I shouldn't go outside with this heat. Which means, of course- I can't go grocery shopping. Or at least, I got to hydrate properly before going outside, which is a giant pain in the ass (it's complicated, don't ask)

At the very least, I went outside a bit today. The sun was shining, and there were a lot of people (i was exasperated), annnd I bought a new shoujo manga. I didn't even notice it's from the same mangaka who created lovesick ellie. But I guess I was drawn to it, because it subconciously reminded me of it. "Definitly love", they call it in Germany. It's quite cute, the heroine is almost the same as last manga personality wise, but...it's kind of a guilty pleasure. You know it's not some revolutionary shit, but you keep coming back for more.

It keeps me at least a little bit sane. Inmersing myself in other worlds, I mean. I am fully aware that's it's very luxurious escapism, but...people scare me. A lot. I get half a panic attack only thinking about them getting displeased with me. Never learned how to deal with conflict I guess, only by shutting up and ignoring it.

Which most of the times doesn't make the conflict go away. Actually, most times, if it involves humans, it mutates into some atrocity. I am aware. Yet the fear is just too strong. Humans scare me so much.

Yet, how communities work, is through conflict and, generally speaking, talking things out. And I noticed that we suck in the peacefully speaking department. Our selfish nature doesn't allow us more often than not to consider other peoples feelings. I'm no different. But that's one of the many reasons why I try not to interact too much - I feel like a bother. And I am. I know it.

But as said, I need to work. I want to work, in a job, and have a healthy lifestyle and routine, and maybe even work on my self, physically and emotionally. For some reason, I never seem to change though. My advanced mental illness doesn't help to be strong, because it's a huge handicap, when you got a little monster in your head that inserts images and words in your head you don't want, and worst case scenario, materializes in form of mean, bullying voices. Thank goodness the later didn't happen for years now (As I am aware for now. Illusions are so real I can't differentiate it from the real thing.)

But yeah, I know, TMI.

Anyways, enough trauma dumping. I'm sorry if this text upset you, dear reader, and I hope you can forgive me. Hopefully this text is so long that you gave up halfway through.

At least...I hope there are no readers. I just want to be by myself. Sort things out, yknow?

But yeah. I'm getting drowsy, it's time to kick back and relax a bit.

[thelasttime]

hiii madie i have a thing to share/seek advice on

so my irl bestie has been wanting to set me up with her guy friend for a while now. i always flat-out rejected the idea because i wasn't really interested in going on dates or whatever, but i decided to humor her recently and the guy is actually pretty cute. (other details are just his birthday which happens to be my lucky number and that he plays the alto sax. she also says he's a good guy and i trust her judgement).

so i told her that i'd be open to going on a date with him, and that she should ask him if he was interested. then she told me that she actually would rather just introduce us by inviting me to a thing with her + their group. i wanted him to be aware that it was a setup so that we have the same expectations going into it, and i wanted it to be more one-on-one so we have an opportunity to get to know each other. but my friend said that she didn't know how to bring it up to him and that it would take much longer to facilitate something if it wasn't as simple as inviting me to a thing.

am i being too picky? i don't have a ton of experience with dating (well i have experience, but none of it is good lol) so i don't know if what she's suggesting is normal and i should just trust that she knows her friend better, or if me wanting us to be on the same page from the get-go is the better move. (to be 100% clear, she's ok with trying to set up an actual date, but she thinks it's a less good option and says it'll take way longer to get us to meet that way)

hmm, i'm always of the belief that you should follow your gut but in this case, it's generally pretty normal to not get directly set-up with someone unless you're a bit older (i'm assuming you're in your early 20s or somewhere near there). like i have rarely been on a blind date or a set-up date, usually i just have a friend who brings me along to something and then introduces me to the person they're trying to get me with.

my thought process here is that if you go on a one-on-one date, there's a lot more pressure to make things actually work and you may realize within like 5 minutes (as most first dates usually go) that you do not like this person or you really do like this person. my worry would be that you would put a lot of pressure on this date to go well and it would kinda suck more to realize that you don't like this person OR it would be really great if you like this person a lot

with the "tagging along" method, there's definitely a lot less pressure but it might be hard to actually figure out if you like this person because you're in a group setting. it might also be weird because it sounds like he doesn't know he's also being set-up so this is truly like a ... one-sided thing ?!?! has your friend set up people before because i can't lie 😭 this isn't the greatest set-up i've heard of

for the time i got set-up with someone, i went to my best friend's birthday party and then really hit it off with his roommate. then i told my best friend i thought his roommate was hot (he is hot) and then asked my best friend to go ask him if he was interested in like . talking more (normally i would do this myself but i had no way of talking to this guy so had to go through an alternative route). and then my best friend confirmed that he was interested, gave me his phone number, and then voila

but this worked because we were BOTH aware that we were interested and it wasn't a weird one-sided thing where one party is aware ... i think it would be better if he was on the same page because clear communication is very important. my suggestion is that your friend asks him if he's interested in dating then ask if he's interested in meeting you (at the group setting). it sounds like the one-on-one date isn't great because of the timing so i think the group setting is fine as long as you're both on the same page

i hope this helps!

[measlyfurball13]

Speaking of “I love cutesy fun things but please allow these characters to have depth” how about Ghost being more than just Baby? Don’t get me wrong I love them being loved on by their sibs, being a dork, and taking a break, but the uwuification of them and Hollow really aren’t fitting nor do their stories justice.

Just like Hollow they are 1) an adult with a full range of personality and emotions and 2) traumatized. We don’t know what they went through in the Wastes but at the very least they’ve dealt with the trauma of amnesia. The trauma of being attacked with intent to kill/killed multiple times. Faced an angry sun god and won because of their stubbornness and spite.

They literally went and found a kingdom of undead zombies and went “anyone gonna kill and loot these bodies?” And didn’t wait for an answer. Yes they are sweet and noble, delivering flowers and helping people. But they are also ruthless and without mercy when they want to be.

Honestly, compared to some other fandoms, the uwuification of both their characters isn't too bad. At the very least, posts in this fandom are very well sorted into "clearly joking" fanon and "clearly serious" fanon, which I appreciate.

But you're right- I've never understood people who see Ghost as a toddler. Nonverbal? Yep. A Genuine Bastard On Purpose Sometimes? Oh absolutely. I always imagine Ghost dealing with their trauma by being purposely spiteful and lashing out, which is a foil for how Hollow handles it, which is by internalizing it.

Actually, most of my takes for Ghost are surrounding them being a character foil for Hollow. Here goes:

I actually think that babying Ghost would be the quickest way to get on their bad side.

Unfortunately, they often misconstrue people's attempts to care for them as "babying" due to their fiercely independent nature.

(All three of the siblings have this to some degree- Hornet is also picky about being cooed over for much the same reason, contrasted with Hollow, who simply doesn't think they're worth the effort.)

Ghost is self-sabotaging in the sense that if someone doesn't allow them to do something, even and especially if it's "for their own safety", it makes them only more determined to do the thing.

Ghost is Not Nice. They are kind, sure, but They are Not Nice. There's a very big difference there, mostly informed by the fact that Ghost's first instinct upon meeting someone new is to swing their nail in that direction and see how the other person reacts.

Hollow trusts too easily. Ghost doesn't trust at all. The most reliable person in their goddamn life is Cornifer, for christ's sake. Everyone else attacks them, betrays them, or dies.

Did anyone say "klepto"? I'm gonna say "klepto".

All three siblings are particularly clingy with their weapons, but Ghost is the only one who'll see murder as an appropriate retaliation to someone touching their nail.

They never inform others as to what they're doing, either through actual communication or any sort of body language. They don't feel the need to justify themselves to anyone, so why bother? They'll do whatever it is they feel like doing and everyone else will just have to figure it out, in their eyes.

(This bothers the HELL out of Hollow, who's whole schtick is being practiced, precise, and reliant on predictable social rituals and people saying what they mean. Fundamental autistic-to-autistic miscommunication.)

Ghost is fundamentally a super empathetic person (evident in the good ending, where you spend the bulk of your time putting the memories of people to rest,) but the one thing they'll never be able to reconcile is Hollow's love for the Pale King.

Scathing hot take that's probably obvious this far down, but I really do think that Hollow and Ghost wouldn't get along as well as is often assumed in fanon. They love each other very much, but there's also a lot of mutual guilt and other baggage between them that I'd love to see explored more.

[all-about-seggs]

Ardent Affections :

Pairing : Timeskip + Virgin! Sakusa Kiyoomi x Female reader

Rating : 18+, Explicit

Word count : 3k

Warnings : Smut and fluff (and holy shit I ended up including a bit of angst) , Loss of virginity, blow job, fingering, vaginal sex, established relationships.

A/n: I prefer dirtier side of Smuts but this was as far as I could go with Saku sooooo I hope my fluffy smut isn't cringey >.<.

Putting the plum filled onigiri in the clean plastic container, you give it another look over to make sure it's tidy enough, afterall, the person you made this for was nothing if not picky. But, you also knew he loved umeboshi, so after a few successful weeks of your relationship with Sakusa, you went ahead and bought more than enough dried plums to practice making something he won't be able to refuse. It didn't take long to reach the gym he was practicing at, with lunch time approaching, he'd be on his break too, giving you the perfect chance to have some alone time.

One would think, that no boyfriend would refuse their significant other's cooking but falling in love with him as well as dating him made you realise it wasn't the status quo. He was, at the very least, peculiar. Always on his own, Sakusa never felt the need to be involved with a lot of people, ironical as it may be for someone who played a team sport, his idiosyncrasies made it hard for most people to get close to him. That's why the sight of a cluster of high shool girls flocking your boyfriend, to give him their handmade goods was comical yet unsettling.

It wasn't something you got jealous at, but it's something that made you second guess yourself instead, whenever the thought of making him something pooped in your head, this same scene played infront of your eyes. Sakusa surrounded by a bunch of girls with heart eyes, wanting to give him stuff. On the verge of losing his polite demeanor, Sakusa almost gave them a taste of his blunt indifference if it weren't for some faculty member intervening. Today was the same.

With the perfect excuse, he pulled himself away from the group and sauntered towards you, eye twitching with a look that screamed ' I saw you having fun on my expense'. You quickly pulled yourself out of the gloomy thoughts and greeted him with your regular smile.

" I didn't wanted to disturb your fan meet", the cheeky tone in your voice added to his annoyance.

" I assure you that you didn't, besides you know I don't like hand made stuff ", he grumbled, voice carrying the regular icky note you were used to but it caused the dull ache in your heart grew. Before you could answer, you saw Bokuto running towards your direction, making you jump with his boisterous greeting,

" HEY! Y/n chan!... Are you gonna join us for lunch as well ?", The look in his face was as cute as his voice which was cutoff by Sakusa's cold one,

" No. I don't like the places you go to eat. Also, I'm done for today so we have no reason to stay.", Curt and to the point, Sakusa answered him and gestured you with his eyes to follow him instead.

" Geez, it's like he can never let loose!, Y/n chan! You should ask him to open up more!", pouting, the energetic male glared at Sakusa's retreating form.

"Ummm, Sorry Bokuto! He still doesn't know how to..... People? I guess? But he's trying! I know he is! So don't worry... We'll catch up with you guys sometime else okay?", With a slight bow, you trailed after your boyfriend, leaving a deflated Bokuto behind.

As you walked behind him, you thought about the first time the both of you met, he didn't even looked at you properly before leaving just like he was right now, about how you had to put your feelings out in the open first so that he'd finally notice them, how, for the last few days your garbage can only had dozens of messed up onigiri, and how the lunch you packed was getting colder by the minute as it layed still in your bag.

You were lost in thought for the rest of the way, he wasn't one to talk much but your constant silence was not something that often happened. Still not being used to initiating small talks, all he could do was gaze at the dazed look on your face.

The two of you made your way back to his apartment that the sports facility provided the players. You had been here a couple of times before but never long enough to actually call it 'staying over'.

" Why are we at your place?", You quietly ask, making him pause before speaking.

" I did say I was done with practice for the day", opening the front door he ushered you in. It was unsurprisingly neat, the entrance not having any useless items, infact everything in his place had a purpose or use.

It was a big step, him letting anyone in his personal space, considering his high maintenance personality you thought he'd dip you in a bucket of sanitizer everyday but he was a lot more chill when you both take your respective baths. He still goes in first.

The moment you stepped outside the bathroom, you saw a nervous looking Sakusa was sitting on the edge of his bed.

" Did you really wanted to have lunch with those guys?", His abrupt question caught you off guard, so apparently he took your silencein the wrong way, but it still warmed your heart to know he noticed and cared enough to talk about it, albeit clumsily.

" Is that why you think I was quite on our way here?", The reply you gave made him avert his eyes, whether it was out of embarrassment or the awkwardness in the room, it didn't change the fact that your sudden change in behaviour was noted by your boyfriend.

" If you have something to say, then I want you to tell me, I'm afraid I won't know otherwise", Sakusa added, finally looking at you with his deadpan yet sharp look.

He was right, every couple needs to have proper communication in order for their relationship to succeed, so with that in mind you decided to tell him about what's bothering you.

Walking over to his side, you sat next to him,

" I made you lunch today, but when I saw you rejecting your fans gifts saying you don't like handmade stuff, it- bothered me.", Your reasoning might've been a little selfish, it's not like you wanted to force anything on him just because you were his girlfriend but the fear of getting rejected always made you hold back on so many things.

" So I didn't give it to you, and then I just started having a trail of depressing thoughts about how maybe I'm the only one who wants anything from this relationship, I mean we haven't even done anything more than kissing Kiyoomi.", To you, this confession was nothing more than the frustrations you've built up. He was silently listening as you went on, not interrupting until you were done.

" I see....", His soft baritone was laced I'm regret as he brought his hands to you head, gently combing the strands, " I'm sorry, I made you feel that way, it's obvious that both of us need to work on our communication skills but there is one thing you got wrong", saying that, his hand combing you hair pushed you forward until you were right in front of his glossy lips,

" It should go without saying that I wouldn't let you in here if I didn't loved you, and you wouldn't be in this bed either if I didn't wanted you.", By the end of his sentence, his hot mouth covered your in a demonically passionate kiss which was all teeth and tongue. It was probably your longest kiss as well, making you grip his shoulders so hard it would've probably left marks if it weren't for his taut musculature. You pressed you hands on his sculpted chest, feeling his nipples harden as you slowly run you thumbs over them. Sakusa pulled away from you to catch a few breaths, his lips shining with your mixed saliva.

" I've never done this before......", hesitation crossed his eyes which soon melted into a look of determination as he brought his face near yours.

"But if it's with you, I know I'll like it", he panted, pulling you on his lap to continue his ministrations from a more closer proximity. The uncharacteristically deep kiss encouraged your hands to roam around more, to feel all of his ripped form through the fabric of his thin shirt. Your hand grazed his crotch, this contact alone was enough to make him twitch, his virginity showing, the blush on his cheeks spreaded all the way to his neck.

The front of his shorts looked so strained,It was painfully clear how much his cock was begging for attention, so you pushed Sakusa back until he was lying flat on the bed, feet still on the floor. Searching his eyes for any objections, you pulled his waistband down to reveal his bulging member. It suited a big guy like him, his thick cock felt so hot and heavy in you hand it took everything in you to stop yourself from jumping on it right away.

" Hggg... Wait... It's-", his voiced carried more embarrassment than discomfort but you stopped nonetheless.

" Dirty?.....is that what you want to say?", questioningly, you looked at him from between his legs as he nodded.

" Well sex is better dirty but, I'll try not to make a mess okay?", With a wink you grabbed his shaft with one hand and took his tip in your mouth. The warm, wet insides of your mouth touching the sensitive head of his cock made him shudder in pleasure but he didn't make more than a hum. Maybe your boyfriend was still embarrassed but now that you finally get to go down on him, you made it a personal goal to hear his moans.

Detemined to hear his beautiful whimpers, you added pressure on his member through your tongue as you moved your lips up and down, swallowing him as much as you could. Droll dripping from the side of your mouth and his precum gave you enough lubrication to increase you pace, going harder and harder until you felt your teeth make contact with his sensitive shaft, that must've hurt, you thought but atleast it got a reaction out of him.

" AH-.....mmmhh Y/n damnit.....you're doing it too roughly", you heard him complain from above you,

" I just rough housed you a little..... Anyway, you can't blame a girl who's been abstaining herself from fucking her hot boyfriend ", with a pop you pulled him out of your mouth and looked up at the wide eyed Sakusa with an uncharacteristic boldness that even surprised you. Maybe it was because of the situation or because you two had a heart to heart conversation about your feelings just now but you felt oddly comfortable with him more than you ever did before. You knew he loved you enough to put up with anything you'd throw at him at his point, so why not push your luck?

"......well aren't you a vulgar little girl", regaining his composure, Sakusa propped himself on his elbows to give you his trademark deadpan look. You squeeze his balls teasingly in an attempt to rile him up further, his face contorts a little before he shoots you a glare.

" I'm going to make you regret that", with nothing more than a growl he grabbed your hand to make lie face down beside him, for a second you thought he'd spank you, but the moment you raised you head from the mattress to see what's going on, a big hand was on your head pushing your face down again, his other hand ghosting over the hem of your t-shirt.

" It's my turn now, so you better behave", emphasizing the behave he first pulled your shirt off of your shoulders, then swiftly getting rid of your pants. This was an interesting turn of event, just a moment ago your virgin boyfriend was squirming like a pathetic little boy but with just a little teasing made him switch into daddy mode, you'd be lying if you said it wasn't thrilling.

You laid there stark naked as you heard a few rustling sounds coming from behind, indicating Sakusa taking his cloths off. His long, deft fingers grabbed your hips, raising them a slightly off the surface of the mattress, the digits of his right hand crept near your dripping core as if wondering if he should touch you or not, you moved your hips closer so you could feel his touch but he retreated his hand, only to pinch one of your butt cheek. The tease.

" If you're expecting me to eat you out too then keep dreaming..... but since I made you wait so long, I'll give you something else today", his matter of fact tone was even as he traced two long fingers up your slit taking in all of your juices, he pushed them inside your aching pussy. His thick digits rubbing your walls made you moan in the pillow, with his thumb he started rubbing your engorged clit. His actions were not exactly gentle but you didn't wanted them to be either, you wanted him to pound you into the mattress so bad but maybe it was asking too much from someone inexperienced.

" You like this right?", It wasn't exactly a question, as his increased his speed, with his free hand he pinched your ass again leaving small red marks in the fleshy patch of skin. Your first orgasm in so many weeks approached you with an intense force, making you buck you hips in Sakusa's hand. Just as your pussy started clenching around the fingers that was inside it, he withdrew his hand leaving you with a strange sense of emptiness.

" Not so fast y/n, it's more efficient it we cum together, besides I know you want more than just my fingers", his voice carrying the cockiness of someone far more experienced but you can't complain, for both his actions and words were easily bringing you closer to the edge. Ignoring the stickiness of his fingers he lightly massaged your butt cheeks before kneeling right behind them. The sight of your flushed, naked body was enough to get him going, something that he dare not admit.

From the corner of your eye, you saw him opening his bedside drawer to retrieve a condom. Well, atleast one of you were prepared for this, just as he finished putting on the thin protection, he asked you,

" I'm putting it in y/n", he didn't make it sound like a question but it wasn't until you nodded in approval, that he moved. Groaning lightly, Sakusa entered you inch by inch, making the process as slow as possible so could clearly feel the delicious stretch his thick cock provided. You were already panting by the time he bottomed out in you, as he started moving his hips you rolled yours to match his pace, creating a steady rhythm.

Both your pants and body were in sync, building up pleasure that soon reached its peak, the roll of your hips and the sound of his name from your mouth urged him to take a hold of your hips and drive his pulsating member further into your cunt. He felt your walls clenching around him when your body experienced the well awaited orgasm, quivering beneath him like. The sudden pressure added on to his cock made your boyfriend follow right after. The both of you were still riding your high when he lowered his torso on to your back, sweat slicked bodies on top of each other, you wondered what kind of face he would be making right about now. Hoping it wasn't one of disgust, you turned your face to the side, his endearing curls tickling your ears as he kept his nose buried in the nape of your neck.

There was a serene quality to the room where the two of you laid still until Sakusa got up abruptly, you knew that it was bath time even before he uttered anything.

" Let's eat", his soft voice seemed almost like a whisper which was confusing and astonishing at the same time when he tossed one towel to you and quickly wiped himself with the other.

Making quick work of the cleaning, you both went to the living room where you pulled out the bento box from your bag. It felt cold against your hand but this time it didn't make you sad because now you were sure that the person next to you wouldn't reject it.

Opening the box, you noticed they got a little crushed, probably because of you tossing your bag aside dejectedly when you first arrived, the previously well made onigiri lost their original shape but you hoped they tasted the same.

Gingerly showing him the box you thought about quickly explaining it's condition and telling him about how you made it in the most hygienic way possible for a human but the words died in your mouth when Sakusa briskly took one piece out and munched on the distorted rice ball. You watched him chew, waiting became too nerve-racking so you blurted, " How is it Kiyoomi?!", Talk about putting pressure on a guy but it didn't deter him from telling you the truth.

" It's good", the simple reply he gave was the best, you thought, his words were never grandiose, just to the point that's what made you believe them everytime he decides to be honest with you.

"Next time...", He mumbled in between his increasing breaths and tinted cheeks,"Lets make it together".

[fairymint-archive]

For your most active muses at the moment!: Black, Yellow, annnnnnnnd Red!

(gonna ignore red for this one since i kinda touched on it in the last ask, if I get any more Red i'll delay the ask to Think™️ abt it and let it cook;;)

⚫ Black  - Do you think you and your muse would be friends in real life?

Robin would be an interesting fellow, so depends at what point he came into my life, haha. Basically, Yes overall. I'd probably see if he worked in a poly situation with my husband, although with Robin being a massive bitch sometimes I'd wonder how that would work out. Anytime before that, probably very close if not a slightly bumpy road. literally i have plot in mind in character for Felix to tell him to get over himself, so I imagine I'd have less patience and show tough love even sooner than that- capitalism really drives my manager/bossy side out out of self respect jfkdlsfjl lmao He's kind of Cis Gay Nonsense, the muse, even if affectionately so.

As for Xander, no, absolutely not at first. I'm very picky about how people choose to act, like You Always have a choice, dude. But supports and canon, and how other people talk to and about Xander kinda suggest that there's more to him than the surface level so....good potential. loosen up a little, buddy.

I'm a little Kamui minded, but.....he's so cheesy, I can't take it sometimes. My muse is just....lil default man is hilariously default. Absolutely friends, without a doubt, but i'd probably be laughing at him sometimes.

Pit would absolutely be my buddy~ no doubt about that. Palutena might be lightheartedly on thin ice, though. Her bullying is more funny as a character, so i might bite her IRL hdjskfhshjfs

🟡 Yellow - What is the best motivation for you to write your muse?

I like to get Pit vibes, usually when I think about existentialism, or my place in the world. I find his traits pretty similar to mine, actually. Short king, loves hot water, nerd. come to think of it, lots of responsibility too. Physical traits pretty close as well. But, like, I'm also a victim of suicidal ideation and extreme isolation, which was right when I got the game in the mail from a BFF, add two plus two on that one. But, also, when i wanna nerd out and get reminded of his existence, hell yeah i'll put this Mr. Sunshine on my dash.

As for Robin, the fucker invited himself into my life. He writes himself, I did not expect, or even plan to have him on my blog, ever. Like, psychologically speaking, I know where he draws from and his themes, though. Coming out, substance usage, navigating general relationships, Dragons and Daddy issues, and the gay community in general. Robin is a character who, coincidentally, I have a lot in common with, so how i got a default version is beyond me;;; Bonus points for localization, You could probably tell, but @lueurxtactique mun and I are always comparing our muses' portrayal, and how Americanized Robin ended up, with canonical differences and implications from the OG Japanese with Reflet there. A fair amount of some of this is how Robin is a very masculine character, who may struggle some with internalized toxic masculinity, compare to Reflet who is more boyish, and picked on for being childish. I could write a literal whole series of headcanon posts contrasting the two, it's interesting cultural and characterization shit!

But, I'm actually demotivated a lot of the time, because he can be very embarrassing and personal to write; He's a muse that literally demands self-indulgence to write out his musings. He's the one with the crush on kitty first, so him having two primary love interests and being so fixated is like....Buddy. Dude. Babe. Please don't make me grab the water bottle; But it's usually when I can't take it anymore and notice it's been like 5 years since when the musing was supposed to take place, and i'm like....okay, alright, time to stop putting this off.

I love my boy! I keep intending to do a starter call, so mooties muses can get to know him, he's just kind of a loner and the timing for starter calls is tricky, people have to actually.........See them. lmfao. But yeah! high muse!

[gxrlcinema]

stinky! congrats on your milestone! i’m so excited to participate with you during this fun little week, so prepare for lots of requests!

first off, i wanna know who you think my mcu beau (either gender by the way i ain’t picky) i am here to offer you this lovely ball of yarn 🧶

in terms of me as person, i’m very grumpy yet approachable. i like being the smartest person in the room and oftentimes i become this by impressing everyone with my extensive knowledge of fun facts. also as you know, i’m riddled with back pain for days so i’m very much a homebody at heart. and i’m a cancer sun, taurus moon, and leo rising! 🙃

smelly this one's a little bold, but here you go.

I ship you with... Nebula!

Listen, you're a simple human: you see a hot blue chick, you're gonna flirt with said hot blue chick. Sure, you're a little busy (trying to take down her evil purple father), but when life gives you hot cyborgs, y'know?

Nebula doesn't really know what to do with your advances. She's... intense. And a little scary. She could definitely kill you in an instant.

You guys hook up after you kill her dad.

And neither of you expect it to be anything more. Whenever she's on Earth (or whenever you're in space) you rendezvous for some fun. And it is fun. A lot of fun.

But then you find yourself missing the feeling of her bald head in your arms, her frown whenever her deadpan communication style unintentionally makes you laugh.

You're both grumpy. Neither of you smile with any frequency. Which is why the Guardians are confused to find the two of you sitting at a laptop one day, absolutely losing your shit over the dumbest video they've ever seen in their lives.

"It's just that vine where Kermit raps..."

"Stop it, stop it, I'm gonna pee!"

Nebula doesn't even know who Kermit is, but somehow your laughter is making her laugh anyways.

You don't take life or yourself too seriously. You show Nebula, who is the most intense person you've ever met, how to lighten up sometimes. She pretends not to love you for it.

She loves that you never judge her. You're not interested in telling her the right thing to do, or trying to control her in any way. She's spent enough of her life doing everything according to how someone else wants her to be. You let her be herself.

And, in return, she listens. She's not always the best with human emotion, but she's learning how to just be there for you to talk to.

She pretends to listen to your fun facts, just because it makes you happy.

Neither of you trust easy, but you'll do anything for the few people you let in. Without even realizing it, you do let each other in. And then you take on the galaxy together.

[laurelnose]

Hello! I'm your Witcher Secret Santa (and very excited about it) here to ask if you have any particular tropes/likes/genres you'd like to see for your Geraskel fic!

hello!! thrilled to have you here!! 💛

i’m just gonna...kinda follow the wishlist outline the secret santa blog laid out here. cutting for a lot of talking about my personal geralt/eskel likes & dislikes lmao. hopefully this helps give you some ideas & if you need clarification on anything just let me know!

my eskeralt tag is #like two drops of water (this link doesn’t work on mobile but i will put it in the tags of this ask). what appeals to me about eskeralt is…aside from vesemir, there’s nobody either of them has known as long as they’ve known each other, and like, there’s nothing really that could ever make them reject each other. whatever happens short of death, there will always be eskel for geralt and geralt for eskel. also i just love both of them individually & it makes me happy to see them in the same place :’D

that said, i have never shipped a fully emotionally functional relationship in my life and eskeralt is not an exception—some of the most interesting points of conflict between geralt and eskel for me include:

their relationship is difficult to maintain; enough contract work for two witchers together is difficult to come by & two witchers are seen as intimidating by townsfolk! also, they’re both men, but ymmv on how much homophobia you want to feature in your version of the Continent. one of the few times they can be freely together is back at Kaer Morhen, and three or four months out of the year is…not a lot.

there’s a significant asymmetry between them where geralt has a much wider social network (both platonically and romantically) than eskel does. while geralt can always go to dandelion or yennefer for what he needs, eskel doesn’t have the same freedom… and eskel is clearly unhappy about yennefer when he and geralt speak to each other in the forktail cave. is there some bitterness there about geralt chasing the attention of sorceresses and whoever else all over the continent when eskel, the ugly, unfamous one, has always been right there for him? methinks the answer may be yes.

geralt is…not a functional emotional support network. like, he barely qualifies as a single emotional support pillar. he’s definitely 100% there for his friends but he’s not fantastic at divining when they need support without them actually out-loud asking, and tbh eskel isn’t necessarily great at this either. both of these boys were seriously failed as children when it came to identifying and communicating their own emotional needs. i love geralt and eskel knowing each other without speaking, the familiarity of presence and body language, but that kind of wordless communication breaks down when it comes to more complicated things like “hey i feel like you don’t value me as much as your many other more attractive friends”!

re: yennefer—yenralt and eskeralt are both OTP and as far as I’m concerned, yen & geralt are in an open relationship that is sometimes on-and-off but never completely finished. you do not need to mention or include her but if you do she and geralt should not be permanently broken up.  

genres—as may be obvious already, i like the complicated messy horrible feelings people have about each other and themselves and the difficulties inherent to making space for another person! angst is my favorite. i...basically never read pure fluff. i crave conflict and feelings. it doesn’t have to be conflict between them but there’s gotta be something in there makin’ life complicated.

i’m also a fan of whump. i’m pretty hard to squick when it comes to gore and various traumatic possibilities. if you are not so inclined, you do not need to include a happy ending. of course, if you are so inclined happy endings are also excellent!

tropes—in no particular order: casefic, confessions/first times, hurt/comfort (or hurt no comfort), miscommunication, mutual pining, relationship negotiation.

canon/pairing-specific tropes, still in no particular order: baby witchers, geralt & eskel being kaer morhen’s partners-in-crime, monster nerds (especially eskel; you may find #kaer morhen biology of monsters 101 useful. in the tags of this ask for mobile), eskel’s self-esteem issues, self-loathing for both of them, eskel calling geralt “wolf” (canon!!!), geralt kissing that notch in eskel’s lip.

i like a lot of different versions of the eskeralt first time; usually people have them figure it out as kids/teenagers, which i like very much, but i also like ‘back at kaer morhen for the first time as an adult witcher and oh shit he grew up hot’ and ‘it’s been decades and we are just now working thru all the emotional garbage that kept us from admitting to each other that we are not just friends’

& if it happens to be relevant, i’m not married to a trans headcanon for either of them but if only one of them is trans, i strongly prefer it to be eskel.

AUs—i usually go for canon or mostly-canon settings, but i’ll give almost any AU a try & i’m a big fan of canon divergence! when it comes to mermaid AUs, college/modern AUs, soulmate AUs, & daemon AUs, i am so incredibly picky that it’s probably not worth it though. i like roleswap AUs like sorcerer!boys a lot, and royalty/royalty-adjacent AUs are definitely my jam but please no warlord!geralt. 

...very much here for warlord!eskel though. 👀

on NSFW—it’s cool! the things that really press my buttons are specific and niche, but i’m also almost impossible to squick, so feel free to include as much or as little sex as you want! i just want there to be emotions. my favorite is sub geralt and bottom eskel (yes at the same time) but i am not picky at all in that regard.

DNW—i immediately hit the back button at any mention of kaer morhen’s library. suicide-related angst not preferred. 

also, no worries about spoilers, i have read or played everything relevant to the above ships! 

[echodrops]

Hi, i'm curious... Can you share some of your favourite fics? What kind of stuff do you like to read?

Interesting ask; since you didn’t specify a particular fandom, I’m assuming you just mean my favorite fics in general? Of all time? Or were you looking for more recent fics? Let me know if this wasn’t what you were looking for.

Hmmm…

Well, my absolutely undisputed favorite fanfic of all time is Twigcollins’ signal to noise series, particularly the short fic “Death Takes a Holiday.” I could go into a massive analysis about what makes this series stand out to me so much, but I’ll just keep it short and say that this particular story is what I think of whenever someone asks me what my writing goals are. Everything I want to capture as a writer–wit, charm, vulnerability, grace, evocative imagery, silliness, seriousness–is all encapsulated beautifully in this series and in this short fic especially.

Some other greats that come to mind from the past are:

Quillslinger’s Deceitful Above All Things

Zeff N Company’s Gunmetal

Cygna_Hime’s i don’t need you (to worry for me)

Resmiranda’s Tales From the House of the Moon

Glassamilk’s Gutters

Nuitnovember’s Sign a New Agreement With Itunes

suncityblues’ If There Is Light (but this one appears to have been deleted, RIP)

Legete’s the sirens and the thunder

And there are probably many, many others but my memory is garbage for medical reasons and I never thought to keep a list of all my very favorites across multiple fandoms, so some great fics are probably consigned to oblivion in my search history forever. If I think of more I guess I’ll come back and add them. XD

Looking back at these fics, I think I’d say that my “type” is really aesthetically oriented, atmospheric fics. I tend to prefer strong non-romance-related plots over fics that are entirely about a ship (or, if they are only about a ship, the fics need to be genre savvy and creative in their use of tropes), and I tend to prefer canon, canon divergent, or at least canon adjacent fics over entirely AU fics. I think the “emotion” of a story is almost more important to me than the pairing or even sometimes the actual beats of the plot itself–if the writing quality is high and the storytelling is compelling, I can fall in love with a fic even if I would never have read that ship or type of plot otherwise. I like stories with melancholy vibes and even sometimes tragic endings, although I feel like stories have to earn their tragedies for such endings to be worth it. In short, I like “pretty” stories with clear, strong writing voices.

There are also certain tropes I like to read a lot. In particular, I really love Outsider POV fics and stories that look at characters’ behaviors and situations from different perspectives. I love almost scientific-tinged fics where a character–perhaps one of a different species like an alien or other worldly being–makes observations about a “normal” character and is confused and amazed by the differences. Gold. I’m a huge sucker for accidental baby acquisition, especially when it’s male characters who are uniquely unsuited to parenting who get stuck with children for both the comedy and heartwarming factors… Found family is A++… Villain redemption and reorientation into normal life stories get me EVERY TIME… Crack-treated seriously is a special interest of mine. Like, fics that take absolutely bizarre or absurd plotlines and treat them realistically and with deep thought are flawlessss. Speaking of crack, I have a soft spot for well-written rare pair fics; there are so many fun interactions that never get explored by a majority of fan writers… World-building and fics with careful action to background details are so nice!! And a special guilty pleasure: while I tend to prefer canon-based stories, I do really like dragon AUs because I really like dragons in general…

On the other hand, there are some tropes that can completely turn me off a story in seconds. Probably biggest pet peeve is fics where characters drink, do drugs, or even just smoke “for the aesthetic.” Drunk fics often feel like an excuse to write OOC to me, drugs aren’t cool kids, and like… do the people who write cigarette smoking into their fics know how absolutely unsexy it is in real life? I feel like cigarettes in fics are a 50/50 toss-up between real-life smoker authors who are projecting their habits onto their characters and authors who have never smoked a cigarette in their lives and just think it looks cool/sexy/edgy. There’s an annoying correlation between villain characters and cigarette smoking in fics and I’m just like… :/// Love triangles and will-they-or-won’t-they plot lines tend to exhaust me… Gratuitous smut without a logical plot for said smut, such as two characters who have absolutely no build up to their attraction suddenly deciding they want to fuck is just like... “Sure, Jan” to me.

It takes A LOT, A LOT to convince me to read a coffee shop, floral shop, or soulmate AU. Absolutely nothing against anyone who writes them, and I know they can be done very well, but as much as I agree with that one post here on tumblr about the two cakes, I still feel like there’s a such thing as too much cake, sometimes. XD I crave diversity in AUs, like where are the “I got hired at Hooters but I’m a dude” AUs? My “I’m a bouncer… at Costco” AUs? “My family bought a snowcone truck and now I’m forced to shave ice all summer” AUs? The “I work at a pawn shop and people keep trying to sell me really weird shit” AUs? The “I mow lawns for a living and your yard looks like hot garbage but you keep insisting you don’t need my services” AU? “I got in trouble with the law and was assigned to clean up the streets near your work as community service” AUs? I feel like there’s a lot of comfort in using a tried and true AU structure, but the most memorable AUs for me tend to be those which do things totally differently from anything I’ve seen before.

All of this makes me sound like I’m really picky but the truth is that when I get free time, I just read basically everything that’s available. I’m that “goes through the AO3 tag… then goes through the AO3 tag again with lower standards” type readers. If the summary and tags look even remotely interesting to me, I’ll definitely give it at least a shot. My tolerance range, even for things like bad grammar and OOC is really pretty high, especially for rare pairs… T____T

Currently I’ve been reading mostly BNHA fics. aloneintherain’s history has its eyes on you was very nice, and I’ve recc’d juurensha’s stuff before but their ShinIida collection is charming. I recently caught up with Ohmytheon’s Reconfigure and it is the embodiment of all my special interests so I’m especially excited to see where it goes.

Uh… I hope that answers the question???

Please send me fic recs that match my obscure personal tastes; I’ll love you forever.

[papirouge]

I’m confused by your political stances tbh, like are you a conservative or? I’m the ex-radfem from not too long ago and I want to see where else I could fit in, politically speaking, but I feel so lost and confused. I know a lot of people rag on tradfems and conservative women in general but honestly I’m burnt out, I know I won’t fit in with Christian people because I’ve not had too many nice experiences with church and organized religion (I do believe in God tho) but I wish I could be with women who won’t see me as their enemy. I’ve been and have had women like myself called so many slurs from radfems and I just don’t want to face that kind of abuse anymore but I refuse to go back to liberal feminism because it’s just as sexist. I don’t know what to do. I’m sorry if I sound whiny btw.

Babe, I'm in the papi lane😂 I'm neither a conservative or a feminist or an anti feminist or a leftist or anything like that. The only label on accept is Christian.

Just because you left radfemistan means you have to shove yourself into another ideological box. You can just be you. Make your own lane.

The problem of the internet is that there's a whole culture of ideological community, which is a problem because imo no (balanced) person has ideological purity. You can endorse leftist ideals for some topics, while endorsing conservative staples for others. I think being an anti feminist as a woman while living off the achievements of feminism (having a bank account, accessing education, voting, etc.) is retarded, but this kind of women ironically endorsea very "pro woman" mindset by being against abortion or prostitution for example ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I'm Christian and I can't stand most Christians on this hellsite. They're either delulu nu crusader White nationalists, or edgy antis. I loathe them and for the most, they're not even Christians, just a bunch of kids who think being christian in 2022 is the new punk because LibErAls hate Christianism.. SMH

Christian women do come off as more based than men although the "I'm not like the heathens" type ones are annoying. As annoying radfem are, you'll catch me dead before I throw them under the bus to get validation points from male Christian buddies. It's so obvious many trad christian men have a weird hate boner against women who aren't sucking them up (look how cool they are to call pro choice/liberal women "whore" and other misogynist terms). I'll drag radfem for their ideas/toxicity) inconsistent ideology, not because they're 'filthy women' and/or make scrotes LARPing as Christian laugh.

Some women are cool here, anon. But you have to be picky and need to spot pattern of toxic weirdos thinking that because they converted a week ago think they are above being twats and can lecture the whole world about anything. Especially when they're under 25.yo and their brain isn't completely done. Those people may mess you up too because they may gaslight you into thinking you're too sensitive too take their hOt TAKe. Please don't, because they're deranged. "The enemy of my enemy is my friend" rule doesn't always apply. Just bc a woman is pro life/Christian means she's a good person. I've seen it up, close and personal. I have some names in the head of 'popular bloggers' in that scene who are actual trash and I refuse to associate myself with any more.

It's okay to feel alone anon. But I guess that's the price of being authentic and not slide into partisanship and echo chambers mob mentality ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[books--andt]

Zenith (The Androma Saga) by Sasha Alsberg and Lindsay Cummings

Hey everyone! It's been a hot minute since I've last written to you guys. I haven't read a whole lot, only 3 books so far this year, but I'm ok with that. I read for pleasure, and for myself after all!

So Zenith... If you don't know what this book is about, here's a brief synopsis... It follows our main character, Androma or Andi as she's usually called by her team of marauders. Andi and her team get caught up in a quest to save the general's son, but along the way, past relationships resurface, and a war that they didn't want to get caught up in threatens to swallow them whole.

**This review may contain some very small details of the book, which could be viewed as spoilers if you haven't yet read it**

Now... to be honest I had very (and I mean very) low expectations going into this book. If you've been with me for a while, you'll know I read one of Lindsay's books called The Murder Complex and I haaaaaaated it. I am also not the biggest fan of Sci-fi, but I'll touch on that later. Furthermore, I wasn't sure how the writing and story telling, this being Sasha's first book, would turn out combined with the bad experience I had with Lindsay's previous book. However, I'm happy to say that my expectations were exceeded!!!! I enjoyed this book a lot more than I thought I would. I wanted to know what was going to happen, and I did not see the plot twist coming.

However I do have some problems with this book. Firstly, the characters. Androma is a cut and paste version of Celaena Sardothien. This makes me really sad because I love Celaena! To me, she's the perfect amount bad ass and sensitive. She's a well rounded character. She has flaws. Andi on the other hand, is a bit... How shall I put it... One dimensional? She has this whole "I'm a fierce af warrior, I'm the Bloody Baroness and I will kill and destroy you. I want to see you die!!!" but then on the other hand she has that fake sensitive side, where she mourns the losses of those she's killed and views herself a monster. This is just kind of confusing I guess.

And Dex... he was just too cliche for me. It seemed Sasha and Lindsay were trying too hard to make him that "handsome and strong, misunderstood-hiding-secrets-lover-boy" type of character. When he and Androma had their moment halfway through the book, when they basically mutually say that they've had their time but they can no longer share a life together, I was like whaaa? Andi has found out the truth that he was keeping from her, and they obviously have some sort of feelings for each other, yet they don't want to give it a second chance?

My least favourite character was actually Gilly. Sorry, but I don't think a 12 year old cutesy-on-the-outside, but hungry-for-death-and-murder on the inside, is realistic whatsoever. I don't read many books with younger siblings or characters in them, so when I do I'm very picky. I hate when they are represented as annoying. And to me, that's how Gilly was.

One of my favourite characters was actually the AI, Alfie. I found myself lolling when he and Memory were having their little flirty moments. I hope we see more of him in the sequel, although I am a bit confused as to why he was destroyed? Like, Valen has altered DNA? So his mind controlling ability, or whatever, isn't natural then? Or was the altered DNA the Zenith thing that Nor created? So Is Valen actually not evil, and is just being controlled by Nor???? Someone explain.

I liked reading from so many different POV's. It made the pacing of the book quite fast and you got to know these 6 (there were 6 POV's) characters better. I actually liked reading into Nor and Klaren, because you didn't fully know what was going on until the end of the book. So I thought that was well done. I didn't have a favourite POV to read from. They were all pretty neutral for me.

I thought that the writing was good. I couldn't tell when it was Sasha or Lindsay writing, which was actually something I was looking for all while reading. I feel like co-authoring brings about many new challenges; what if you don't like how the other author wrote or changed something but they love it? It's great that their words and ideas flowed.

I do think however that there were some repetitive writing styles, specifically these poetic descriptions. They weren't bad in my opinion. It's just nice to see some variety.

Overall I thought this book was really heavy on cliche YA tropes. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm trash for certain tropes, but they have to be done well. Does that makes sense?

I was reading some reviews of Zenith on GoodReads and my god!!! People were being so harsh!! I understand that this book isn't amazing, but sheesh people! I read one person say they think Sasha should finish College before writing another book. Like how rude???? To any young aspiring author out there- YOU do NOT have to put your writing on hold until after you finish your education. Writers write. That's how they practise. Of course, you will learn and get better with an education, but it's not like thats your golden ticket to start writing a book.

For the most part, other reviewers agreed that Androma tried too hard to be like Celaena, but other critiques were that she was boring and one dimensional. Some said the first half of this book seemed more edited than the second half, and after pondering this I can say that I agree. However there was a lot more action in the second half, so not as much room for the fluffy poetic descriptions.

Another critique was that the book itself didn't need to be as long as it was. I definitely think there were some parts that shouldn't have been included. There were like 50 pages left when Andi and her gang went to that Ucatoria ball and I just felt like it was an odd time to be having a ball, and introducing new characters, so late into the book, and nothing was even resolved! I guess, that created the climax, and the last few chapters of the book were super short and easy to fly through. One part that, in my opinion, should have definitely been edited out, was when Andi is reunited with her mother. Firstly, her father had previously said she was ill or something, so that was confusing. Secondly, it seems that it was just put in place to show how bad of a relationship her and Andi had together. That could have easily been done with some sort of flash-back chapter. In fact, the whole family dynamic seemed really strange to me. When Andi is first reunited with her father, she has these mixed emotions, about wanting to be strong in front of him, and also wanting to crumble and be held by him. When she meets with her mother, she is so infuriated that she threatens to skin both her mother and father alive, and hang their skin like a flag from her spaceship. I mean!!! What!!!!!

Something else I need to touch on is the fact that so many people were offended that Sasha was handed this opportunity "on a silver platter". Sasha makes youtube videos in the booktube community, so obviously, she has a following and can easily get her voice out there. I have to admit, when I heard they were # 1 New York Times Bestselling Authors, I rolled my eyes. If every one of Sasha's subscribers bought her book, then of course she'd become a bestselling author! But I'm not upset about this. Sasha loves books! Her youtube channel (Abookutopia) is dedicated to that. To me, I have so much more respect for someone who's written a book from the youtube world, if they actually genuinely enjoy reading and writing. I would much rather read a book from a youtuber who makes videos around bookish topics, rather than some beauty guru or daily vlogger. So there. Get over the fact that her following probably had a big hand in getting her and Lindsay that title.

Writing is a process. And it takes time to find your voice. I think this book read too much like a knock-off Throne of Glass book. I'm kind of confused with myself because in a way, I think that's why I liked it?? LOL. I'm not a sci-fi person, but this book didn't really read like a sci-fi book. It was totally more fantasy just set in space.

I think that's all I can say for now.

3.5-4/5 Stars.

If you are getting into Fantasy/Sci-fi (that isn't super heavy on the Sci-fi lol) then I'd really recommend you read this! If you have read tons of YA fantasy and are looking for something different, well, this may not be the book for you.

Thanks so much for reading! What are your thoughts on Zenith???

- T