#bc frankly my memory is so shit these will be helpful to have

[onyxhellebore]

My mother is engaging in some real Mrs. Bennett behavior and I am losing my MARBLES.

[howlingguardian]

hi hello i just wanted to let you know that i just binge-read your butcher!Taylor story and holy crap. wow. i'm amazed by how relatable you've managed to make the Butcher personalities—many of them, specially Firecracker, Nemean, Anchorage and Tactical, make me feel a bit like "and there, but for the grace of God, go I"—if it weren't for my heaps of sheer dumb luck (and the fact that this is isn't Earth Bet, obviously), that could have been me. it makes the entire story super interesting, and makes me kinda hope for the time Amy manages to get those letters to their destination—i really hope they get some closure, and not just Flinch's family. This last chapter—aside from making me despair about the cliffhanger—was really sweet: i loved the Amy interaction and I agree with Anchorage's Grandmaw that good food heals all, and helps always. I also really loved the Sophia, Taylor and mall guards interaction as well—Taylor was right in calling those fuckers out, and idk whether or not you're white, but you get internet cookies for that. I'm also a fan of Danny and Taylor rebuilding their relationship, Danny visibly getting better, and how despite Taylor gaining a newfound confidence bc of the Butcher's memories & life experiences, she isn't magically over what the Trio did to her—they still affect her, even if she's better equipped to dealing with them. It makes her more believable as a character. I'm also deeply curious about T—I'm hoping for an interlude from his POV eventually. He's been right there through a lot of it, and he's stuck by Taylor, and we don't really know what's up with him—there are some hints about helicopter parents who are overly supportive, but it sure stands out how he hasn't really told them he's a cape, which makes me think they're more overbearing than supportive, but I don't know. The way in which he covers himself in metal sure feels like burrito-ing in a security blanket, times 10. My heart goes to Vicky too—what she's going through sucks, hard. And I really appreciate how you've made an effort to make Brandish come across as a total bitch who has her reasons—she's not totally irrational, just differently rational. Really comes across how she's very obviously talking from a place of trauma and not casual cruelty. Also loving how you humanized Manpower—made it real clear even the "well-adjusted" capes are a lil fucked in the head (/non-pejorative—so am i, frankly). And I *really* love your Assault. I'm kinda hoping he breaks lines and has some words w Elpis, off the record—just because I really like him, and as someone who also has some misgivings abt the Gov, I'd like to see what Assault is thinking—that bit where they referenced Assault's past as Madcap as his "misspent youth" really made me grind my teeth.

This has been enough ranting I wager but anyways, the point is: awesome story, I love it, tahnk you for writing it!!!

Holy shit, this is, by a wide margin, the longest ask or message I've ever got. Thank you so much! I'm working on the next chapter as we speak, and it's going to be a big one!

I did aim to try and make the point that the Butchers, like a lot of villains, did not just decide to turn to a life of crime for shits and giggles. Many of them were forced into it by circumstance and spiralled down to stay alive. In the right environment, they'd have thrived.

The letters too- those will play a part, showing the Butcher's human connections and emphasising that they are human themselves. Even if they are currently disembodied voices in the head of a tenage girl.

Tarquin is... honestly, thinking some things about myself, I think he's got elements of myself in him. My parents aren't so hovering, but I do get the idea of putting up a facade to hide your vulnerabilities.

Characterisation is important in fanfiction, and maintaining nuance can make or break a story. Sometimes it's fun to exaggerate a character's personality, but I wanted to stick close to canon, so it's very encouraging to hear you approve of how I've written Vicky and Brandish and Manpower and a lot of other tricky characters.

Anyway, I'm glad you enjoy Here Comes The New Boss! The next chapter's coming out sometime this week, but if you can't wait until then, you can try my spin-off Hostile Takeover for a bit of fun.

[orcelito]

I think I cried harder today over my dad's jackets than I did at his deathbed. That was a miserable time of course, a memory that will likely be seared into my brain until I die, but I cried... I think a normal amount, all things considered. More than I ever usually do of course, but I typically don't cry At All. All this free crying is certainly surreal.

The jackets, though. I was put in charge of doing his laundry, because we don't want to pack up dirty clothes. I was expecting it to be unpleasant bc my dad's dirty clothes - gross. But really, it was much more unpleasant in that... those were his. It felt wrong to touch them. Felt wrong to treat his jackets as gross. Because they were just his jackets. They weren't even in the hamper. And then I was remembering him wearing them, and then I was crying. Again. And again. Weeping over these damn jackets.

Then I found a shirt on his bed that still smelled like him. It smelled like a Hug From Dad. And that set me off crying even harder.

In total, I think I cried like 6 times within 40 minutes. It took me that long to finish sorting the damn clothes bc I just. Was a wreck. Like, what are you supposed to do when you're living life like normal, vaguely hopeful bc you're taking steps to secure your own happiness, and then 4 days later you're sorting your dad's laundry because he fucking died. Suddenly. Without a goodbye.

And you have to worry about his lack of a will (even under an ideal situation, only 2 heirs and no conflicts between us, probate's a fucking Bitch), and arranging the funeral, and prepping his obituary, and picking out pictures, and writing a speech bc you want to talk at his funeral, of Course you want to talk at his funeral, but even just thinking about anecdotes you could share has you crying yet again.

I've cried more times in the past 3 days than likely the entirety of last YEAR. And that's WITH my cat, and uncle, and family friend dying. Those all hurt, my uncle most of all, & I was real fucked up over it. But this? This was my Dad. Likely the person I'd have named 2nd closest to me in my life, second only to my sister. He wasn't perfect, but he did so much for me throughout my entire life. All he wanted was to raise us to be happy and independent. And he accomplished it, we're getting by without him, but we still wanted several more decades with him. He was only 57. We should've gotten several more decades with him.

But here we are now. Playing investigators to his life, digging into all his shit, trying to find documents and take inventory of all his things, and learning Many things about him in the process. In his lockbox of sensitive documents, like his SSN and birth certificate and all that stuff, we found an old letter. About a decade old now, written in my hand. Right at the very top, we found that he'd kept the letter I wrote to him telling him frankly about my struggles and the things I wanted him to do better. He kept it. He tried to take it to heart. He looked at it again, sometime more recently than all the rest of the documents. That was on top.

His love for us is evident everywhere. The pictures he has hanging up all over the place, majority of them with us in them. The old fathers day cards placed on display in his bedroom bookshelf. The gifts we gave him, even stupid little knick knacks, placed around his apartment with pride. I wish we'd taken more videos of him. I don't want to forget the sound of his voice. I don't want to forget his smell either, the smell of a Hug From Dad, but I still tossed that shirt into the wash even though it felt like saying yet another goodbye.

It's the suddenness that hurts the most, I think. We were planning on having him help me finally get my license this year. My final words to him, the last thing he would've seen from me, were messages asking up on whether he'd called his car insurance company to make sure there wouldn't be problems. I should've called him more. I don't know if I'm going to learn from this.

I cut my 2 weeks off early to have time to grieve and to work on things for the funeral and settling the estate. The last thing I'd wanna do right now is selling fucking bubble tea in a job I already decided to leave. So here I am without a job, though with potentially two life insurance policy payouts to come. Inheriting half his 401k. Inheriting couches, knickknacks, keepsakes, paintings, art pieces, maybe even his guitar and other furniture if we can figure out what to do about space (I don't have room for this furniture, I don't know if I even have room for the couches, but God do I want to keep so much of this furniture). It has me even considering keeping one of his guns, just one. A tiny little revolver, it sits so comfortably in my hand. I don't even want to use it for anything. I just want to have it, keep it stored in a drawer with its ammo kept separate. I don't like guns, but this is a part of him. He loved collecting guns. He was about as responsible with them as someone can be, keeping them locked in a lockbox and impressing upon his children the importance of gun safety (I've known the basic gun safety rules ever since I was a little kid. Of course, of course, of course.) It reminds me of him. It's horrifically easy to have a gun in Indiana. I apparently don't even need a permit to carry anymore. (I have no intention to ever carry this in public.)

It's all a cycle. Business, grief, thoughts about my future. Round and round, like the most nauseating carousel in existence. I don't know how I'm still so functional. My skills with compartmentalization have been my lifesaver.

And im just thinking about the story my dad's best friend shared today. About a friend of theirs who lost her father. She reached out after hearing about my dad to share his words with her: "it's okay to grieve, but don't make his death your life".

He explicitly referenced himself in this, saying if he were to die suddenly that he wouldn't want us to define ourselves by it. Grief is expected, but he wants us to be able to move on. He's always wanted us to establish ourselves and make ourselves happy. He wouldn't want to be a weight holding us back from that.

So every time I start to feel guilty for thinking about having nicer furniture or using his life insurance payout to fund the rest of my college, I remind myself of that. Thinking about the material isn't a bad thing. I'm only human. And in the end, he'd Want me to be thinking about it. He never intended to die, certainly not without warning like this, so he would've only encouraged me being pragmatic about it all.

He only ever wanted us to be happy. So I need to do what I can to live up to that.

I love him. I miss him already.

[daydream-cement]

Can I make a request please? Fern and Larissa have been through the shit together. Could you write a piece where one of them is having a nightmare about [insert traumatic even from stately sequoia or cedars have eyes here] so the other tries to wake them up, only to end up getting smacked in the face? Angst and fluff bc I love them ✨💕

Nightmares

Larissa Weems x OC (Fern Rogers)

Authors Note: Hadn't even thought of this! Thank you anon!

The vines pulled you down. They were back. How were they back? You tried grasping for anything to keep you above ground. These vines feel thorny as they rake across your arms and dig into your body. You couldn't help it when you cried out in pain.

Your eyes search your surroundings wildly, maybe someone can save you. You see Larissa and the girls, but the vines are grabbing at them two. You need to get to them. You need to save them. There was absolutely nothing you could do but watch the loves of your life perish before you.

They were all screaming and crying in pain. The sight was absolutely unbearable. It was far more painful than any what you were experiencing physically.

You awoke with a start. Your hands finally broke free from the vines, sending your hands flying outward, one of them hitting something. Your heart broke when you saw that you struck Larissa as she was trying to wake you from the nightmare.

She pulled her lips between her teeth, choking down the pain so she could look after you, "Honey, are you okay?"

The memory of the dream came flooding back and you broke down into sobs, leaning into Larissa's chest. You were beyond happy to see her alive and well. She didn't ask you what the dream was about and frankly you were too worried about speaking it back into existence. You cried and cried and she pulled you up into her lap.

She rocked you back and forth, hushing your sobs. Larissa was incredibly worried about you and she felt tears pricking at her own eyes. You hadn't woken up from a dream like this in years.

"The girls. I want to see the girls." You mumbled into Larissa's chest, but she heard you loud and clear.

Larissa pressed many kisses to your forehead and wiped the tears from your face, not risking the chance of the girls seeing you so upset. You didn't have to go to them, however. The soft creak of your bedroom door brought forth two little faces.

They smiled sleepily when they saw the two of you sitting up in bed with the light on. Before they could state their reason for being there, Larissa held out her arms, "Come here, my babies."

Both of them came up to the bed, Althea crawling up from the end and Violet holding up her arms for Larissa to pull her up. Larissa now cradled Violet between the two of you and Althea rested her head in your lap.

"We couldn't sleep." Althea's voice was quiet. You ran your fingers through her soft blonde hair. You couldn't believe how comforting it felt to have all of your girls here in bed with you.

"I had a nightmare." Violet mentioned, keeping her face buried in Larissa's nightshirt, "Althea took all of my Legos and you didn't make her give them back."

The innocence of her dream gave you a wonderful reprieve from the disturbing sights you witnessed in your own dreams. Larissa quickly responded to Violet's dream, "Honey, you know Althea would never do that and we would make her give them back if she did."

"Can we sleep with you?" Althea asked, giving you the saddest puppy-dog eyes you had ever seen.

"We will all have to squeeze in. Especially if you two keep growing the way you are." You answer with a smile.

Althea and Violet snuggled between Larissa and you. She gazed over the top of the girls' heads and her eyes said everything you needed to hear. She loved you and the girls loved you. With that, Larissa turned over in bed to shut the light off.

You stayed up just a little while longer. You wanted to listened to the quiet breathing of your family. Your fingers danced over Althea's cheek, then Violet's. Just happy to have them close to you.

They weren't going anywhere.

[commaclear]

I'm curious about the whereabouts of engagement/wedding/promise rings in htid. Tbh I really wanna keep this short because I have four wip google docs open on my laptop and the last thing I need to do is write something that won't help me finish those, but that probablu won't work the way I want it to. Anyways

In htid there's four, maybe even five people who are part of this whole ring thing. The first one I wanna talk about is Sally, bc she's hot and traumatized and I feel like she'd throw a knife at my head if necessary. I know that technically she should have at least two rings, but I get the vibe she only has one and even then I doubt she got it in the traditional sense.

Sally only got married because she got pregnant, so I get the feeling that Fundy was the engagement ring. That being said, I feel like when you've got a relationship with two teenagers, there's a possibility that she has some cheap promise ring that Wilbur stole while they were at the mall together one day. He probably awkwardly presented it to her in the food court, and the memory is heavily skewed in Sally's head because she's over romanticized it in a sad attempt to stay in love with the man incapable of loving her.

I actually believe that she's done a lot of lying to herself for the sake of living in the safety of delulu land. I mean. I don't think. I know. It's very obvious. No one comes out of a relationship like that and still glorifies it without obscuring some details.

Anyways, Sally's probably got some long since oxodized shitty infinity ring sitting somewhere in a box. And then of course there's the formality of a wedding ring that I'm sure she did not get on the wedding day itself. It's probably not a lot, and she probably didn't receive it until well after Fundy's birth. Before their little courthouse marriage, Wilbur probably asked her if she wanted a ring, and she probably told him they needed to save money for the baby. Although, I'm sure she managed to convince herself she'd still get a ring as a surprise because Wilbur always was a bad listener. It was the small sliver of hope that was handcrafted to hurt by a little girl who dreamed of a grand white dress and a nice arrangement of diamonds.

I'm sure she eventually got a ring. And she'd probably taken how long it took a little personally, but she came around to the idea fairly quick. I feel like she still doesn't really take it off. Back then money was tight enough for the small little thing to mean the world to her, and even though she knows she could buy herself something way better now, the sentimental value is too much to even imagine removing it. She's probably been asked why she still wears it by plenty of people, Fundy and Jared included. And I'm sure she always takes extra care to remove it whenever Wilbur's around.

Now I'm pretty confident in saying Wilbur doesn't have anything more than a simple wedding band that he was very relieved to stop wearing. He's not quite sure where it is, and frankly, he's not trying to find it. He never really felt all that great wearing it. It felt more like an obligation than something he wore proudly. Quackity's probably seen it before, but he knows enough not to ask Wilbur about.

Wilbur honestly got some shit with rings and jewelry altogether. I feel like when he tried buying Sally's ring, the person working at the store seemed so judgmental and obnoxious that he shudders every time he sees a jewelry store. He also doesn't like that love is measured by how much of a diamond a man can afford. And he doesn't like walking around with expensive jewelry either.

That being said, I feel like Wilbur would be more than willing to face his fears if Quackity ever showed interest in anything from one of those stores. One of the main ways Wilbur communicates his love and affection, as well as how he tries to fix his guilt, is through gift giving. Wilbur doesn't really like himself, and he often assumes others don't like him either, so he attempts to make up for what he believes he lacks by spending whatever he can on them. And I'm sure that ties into his whole thing with being a foster kid and knowing how a single good gift can change how you perceive someone.

I feel like Quackity is pretty anti-ring after Karl broke off the engagement. He assumed it got lost in the car accident because Karl had probably taken it off, but he eventually finds it on his nightstand. It kinda puts the whole situation into a shitty place. Slime's probably asked Quackity about it a billion times, and Quackity eventually gets tired of it and puts it where Slime won't find it.

Wilbur's probably seen the ring before, and it made him feel incredibly shitty because something tells me the ring is rather flashy in comparison to anything Wilbur's even given or received. Wilbur kinda hates it because it's just another shitty reminder of how much Quackity must've loved Karl, and he'll never live up to it. It is also a representation of how much Karl was worth to Quackity, and Wilbur doesn't believe he has nearly enough to be deserving of something so extreme.

This whole thing is stupidly long and a mess, and I really need to go work on my own shit. But it's the best I could do

Also last ask you asked me why I have rusty scissors in my shower. And like. It's not like they were rusty in the beginning. I use them when I need to cut something. Sometimes you just need to switch things up, and rusty scissors are good at that. Ever stab a bottle of conditioner [Question mark] Ever cut a random piece of hair off[Question mark] That shit's refreshing. Also excuse the lack of question marks. I'll figure it out later. Turns out the question mark key is open. Shit's wild

-Quackity Analysis Anon

Ooooh, excellent question. I'm gonna run down this one at a time.

Wilbur: First, Wilbur had a chastity ring. He got it from his super conservative foster home and lost it as quickly as he could when Phil adopted him, but the memory of wearing it and what it stood for stuck with him for a long time. He and Sally did have wedding rings and a proper ceremony (before the Fundy was born), but everyone knew it was a shotgun wedding. Sally was very obviously pregnant at the time.

Sally: Sally did actually have an engagement ring, but Wilbur's experience of buying it was worse than you might think. As soon as her parents found out about the pregnancy, Sally's dad had a long talk with Wilbur about "doing the right thing" and then took him out to buy Sally an engagement, which he then paid for. It was humiliating for Wilbur, who gets a nauseating wave of anxiety whenever he goes inside a fancy jewelry store now. Unlike Wilbur, Sally still has her wedding ring, stored away in her jewelry box never to be worn, but never to be thrown away.

Quackity: He and Karl exchanged promise rings a few years ago, and for a long time after the cheap ring started oxidizing, Quackity wore it as a necklace. Once they got properly engaged, the promise ring necklace was moved to safe storage.

Karl: The doctors had to remove his engagement ring when he was hospitalized, and somewhere between hospital moves, it got lost. Karl was confused to wake up without it, and now it hurts to look at his left hand. He lost the promise ring a few years ago too while washing dishes, so now he has nothing.

The stuff you said abt Wilbur and Quackity's feelings toward rings is just so spot on actually, these men have Issues

[tigirl-and-co]

Hi I'm the guy who drew gohan! I wpuld love to know about the movies :]]

Awesome!!! this is a list I made for a friend after having watched every special and movie, but I keep it on hand for myself bc I have bad memory :3c

the list is in chronological order, so no need to worry about accidentally spoiling yourself!

-World's Strongest (really good if you're a fan of kid Gohan. This one is REALLY in its own timeline, so if you're already at Namek you're good)

-Bardock: Father of Goku (BARDOCK MY FAVOURITE DUBIOUSLY CANON MAN!!! Best watched DIRECTLY after Goku defeats Frieza)

-cooler's revenge (ehhhh I think it's just okay but some people really like it. Can be watched any time after Goku returns to earth)

-Super Android 13 (honestly the movie itself is mid, but it's got SO MANY ICONIC MOMENTS and also it's only 45 minutes. This is where 'DON'T YOU LECTURE ME WITH YOUR THIRTY DOLLAR HAIRCUT!' and the Goten-erasing dick punch is from. Can be watched any time after the androids are activated)

-Broly: The Legendary Super Saiyan (I think this is the longest of the Z movies. It's divisive in the fandom but I think everybody needs to see it at least once. It's also probably the most 'HOLY SHIT THAT'S SO COOL' of the movies. Frankly it's worth watching for that alone, no matter how you feel about Broly as a character. Can be watched basically any time in the android saga, it's real weird in the timeline)

-History of Trunks (the most heartwrenching of I think anything in dragonball. So good. You will cry. Best watched immediately post-cell)

-fusion reborn (really really gorgeous but is... kind of a nothing movie. Watch if you are dying for an interesting villain or really really really need to see Gogeta, otherwise don't worry about it. takes place mid-buu (also this movie is infamous for the Dictator scene))

-Wrath of the Dragon (pretty good if you like the more character-oriented stuff, but otherwise is a tad generic. Fleshes out kid trunks a bit, which is nice. Definitely top 5 for me, but I love seeing aloof characters defrost so it might just be my bias. Post-buu I think)

-Battle of Gods (I actually haven't seen this one, but everyone says it rules, so... It's the start of Super, so Post-Buu saga!)

-Super Broly (THIS MOVIE IS SO GOOD PEOPLE WERE SCREAMING IN THE THEATRE)

-Super Hero (this movie is good, but to me it is The Best One as I am a piccolo and Gohan fan. Pan is here and she's very cute)

-GT: A Hero's Legacy (the very very final thing, chronologically. Just a cute special about Goku's great great grandkid. No GT knowledge required. Pan is there)

I hope this helps! there's a lot of movies, and it can be really overwhelming if you're just getting into it! There's a couple DB movies as well, but i haven't seen them since like 2015 uwu; I remember Path to Power was pretty good but honestly I wouldn't worry about any movie not on this list until you know you're a diehard

And even then, you definitely don't have to watch all of these, either! these are just either the ones I personally love, or the fandom has a general love for.

OH and idk if you're doing dub or sub- if you're doing sub, you can go ahead and skip Android 13 bc the dub is the reason that movie is fun

have fun!!!

[pageofsuns]

i have some thoughts about cyrus' horse (and muriel's too!) in muriel's route because world building yada yada you know how it is. disclaimer that i know nothing about horses and im working solely with my imagination and realism means nothing bc this is a story where you fight the devil. so here's a really long post about HORSES

(route spoilers obv)

at the beginning of the route, cyrus is scared of horses. she's never had to ride in the 3 years she's been alive, and anytime she's seen them in the city they've huffed at her and she's decided just to give them a wide berth. she's always been INCREDIBLY wary.

when nadia says they'll be riding horses south, cyrus pales and begins wringing their hands, babbling incoherently to try to calm themselves as she and muriel make the walk to meet the horses.

muriel's horse is a massive, stunning black clydesdale named osiris. he's calm and gentle, a pure reflection of muriel.

cyrus, on the other hand, has been left a palamino akhal teke horse named apollo

he's one of nadia's favorite horses in the palace stable, he's reliable and notably has always been one of the easiest horses to work with.

osiris takes to muriel quickly, mostly just happy to be there, relaxed as ever.

cyrus tentatively offers their hand for apollo to sniff

but something about cyrus sets him off

he immediately bucks his head forward, knocking cyrus on their ass in the dirt

apollo is jittery and excited and suddenly extremely rowdy

cyrus has always been good with animals, this is unprecedented and WEIRD

with some coaxing and comforting from muriel, he's able to calm apollo and help cyrus onto the saddle

the first couple days of riding are far from smooth, to say the least

apollo seems to have taken so much interest in cyrus that he keeps trying to turn his head far enough to see cyrus, and keeps accidentally slamming his whole head into them

he'll start jumping and running sporadically and cyrus just holds on for dear life

a handful of times apollo bucked cyrus off just to turn around and lick their face as they lay in the dirt

this supposedly calm-natured, dignified, beginner-friendly horse has become far too excitable to have an easy ride

what cyrus first thought was aggression and anxiety is actually just him being excitable and, frankly, a little shit

cyrus decides she wants to bond with apollo, so will take breaks from riding to walk alongside apollo

after weeks of traveling together, they're pretty much best friends

he and muriel take time to braid flowers into their horses' hair while they walk

cyrus riles apollo up like a dog with zoomies

whilst muriel and osiris look on in poorly veiled admiration

while traveling through the forest on foot, cyrus and apollo share berry snacks, every other berry going to apollo

when lucio leaves after the first fight, apollo intercepts him at the entrance to cave practically growling, but after lucio swipes at apollo, the two horses flee back to the palace

cyrus is DEVASTATED and worried sick until asra informs them the horses returned safe

when they return to vesuvia, they're sure to make a stop at the stables to see apollo before continuing on to the masquerade

days have passed since the masquerade went to shit, tent-vesuvia is in full swing around muriel's hut, and up walk osiris and apollo to muriel's hut, disheveled and looking hungry

apollo, being a "golden horse", was lucio's first pick out of the stables

the second his stable was opened though, apollo knocked lucio to the ground and took off out the door, osiris following suit after his friend

apollo proceeds to then be the horse cyrus rides into battle

jump ahead to the games

obviously apollo cannot be one of the horses in the line up, it wouldn't be fair

but when cyrus sees lysinger, it hits like a truck

the memories come flooding back

the reason apollo acted so strange when they first met was because he knew cyrus before they died

apollo had been a novelty animal in the red market, a golden horse that was practically untameable

cyrus was able to "liberate" (see: steal) apollo from the vendor

nadia graciously allowed him to take apollo to the stables at the palace where they would proceed to train together

slowly, apollo and cyrus grew to be a team. he went from viciously wild to the perfect partner horse

eventually nadia was able to start using apollo as a beginner friendly horse because of how well trained he was

cyrus would visit apollo every day, but as times grew more dire, they would see less and less of each other

cyrus helped him get more accustomed to the stablehands, having the foresight to see that her time was on the horizon and she wouldn't be able to see apollo anymore

he grew antsy without them, but with some help from the stablehands, was able to become one of the best horses nadia had in her stable

in lysinger, cyrus sees apollo, which is why he's the horse he picks for the games

after all the dust has settled, apollo and osiris move to live outside muriel's hut, pretty much free range

just like the chickens, the horses are more like neighbors than anything

gay horses (they're in love) but anyway

any time muriel and cyrus travel south, they take osiris and apollo, making the trip with a lot less goats this time

and thats. all that i have, i think. in conclusion, i'm not a horse person and have never ridden horse irl and know literally nothing about them i just cant NOT make deep connections with animals teehee

[heartfluttered]

if your school has previous mocks available, get them first or yell at your teacher LOL 😭🙏 make a list and go down practice exams. if you’re in a rush, take a look at practice exams and ask yourself if u can solve it / think of the method you would use to solve the q and then check the answer key. you can build up a list really fast thru this. after three-to-five exams, u get the feel for what you need to work on. and then you can run through practice exam questions catered to the topic and hw/notes related to it. it kinda depends on what subject too tho bc this is a stem type of method 😔🫶

i have a really specific way i study for humanities (😐 history……..) thru active recall and brute memorization. i try to memorize everything i can and then give friends my notes for them to quiz me on them. this method is good if you have a strong memory 😭😭😭 or decent notes 😭😭😭

(if u do ib… i can lend u some of my history notes from last may 😭😭😭 )

and lastly!!! pomodoro method!!! is good bc it works for my terrible attention span and it’s nice to have a lot of study breaks to help u regain focus.

(😔💪 pls sleep as well. sleeping is v important.)

HUUU TY FAYE..

that first tip sounds rlly good i typically spend time doing the entire practice before checking answers which takes. way longer than it should SDLFNMSJS i think i’ll do that!

i take ib but don’t take history ( im a psychology student ( ඉ_ඉ ) ) i have a friend who kinda needs help on history tho so if it’s alright w u i’d appreciate those notes! ^^

my memory is frankly shit which is! bad for psychology and ESS but i’m making my way through :’D i do the ‘giving friends notes to quiz me on’ thing alrdy & i’ve heard of pomodoro but never personally tried it so i’ll test it out :Dd

tysm faye!! (ˊᵕ͙ૣᴗᵕ͙ૣˋ)♡ i’ll make sure to get that sleep :’Dd insomnia sucks but i’ll figure it out ೕ(•̀ᴗ•́) ty for the tips!

[shallowrambles]

Ben and Lisa and Lisa's devastating pursuit of normal

Ben is on the nose. He's literally named "son," and he acts like adult!performing!Dean, rather than a nuaced 3D person at first. Like Ben doesn't act like a real child. In fact, Ben seems awkwardly, gleefully wrought, like a bad red herring. I mean, a kid loving AC/DC? Leather jacket? Not even Dean liked these things. He aped them from John. Kids from this time are into Spiderman. Ninja-Turtles. Ben is sketched obnoxiously, even by SPN writing standards.

Lisa's weird, impulsive clingy behavior is best explained by either thinking Dean's the father for real or needing him to be, in order to sell a lie to herself. There's some weird stuff about her. Lisa looks loaded, financially wise. There's family money or at least help on the downpayment. She rented a bounce house for a kids' party. That $100-200 even by today's standards. Yikes!

My girl was a young yoga instructor with an unexpected pregnancy...kinda hard to make things work without some help. We know her sister is in the picture, but is she estranged from her parents? The grandparents are nowhere to be seen. Something is off about her family life. There's no Ben-with-grandparents photos. Dean played golf, but not with his father-in-law? Weird. They look like a golf-with-granpa family. That looks like a golf-with-granpa house.

So, taking it further than that, Lisa looks like a gal who knows how to use BC and condoms, and she'd def use that with a rando stranger. Unless she couldn't afford BC, which means... hmm. So, how did she get pregnant? Coykd it have been potentially traumatic? Maybe she knows who the actusl father is. That's what the stammering blood test is about. She needs to convince herself that the real father...isn't. Because it's shameful. She'd rather it be Dean instead. Perhaps? It's an interesting thought.

On a strategical front, even Cas knew to use Claire against Jimmy. Michael would have absolutely jumped into Ben, rather than dig up Adam. Frankly, Dean and Cas erasing Ben's memories when he's a potential vessel would be strategical suicide, dooming Ben to live in a world as a vessel but without any warning/protection about avoiding angelic manipulation.

So that leaves options:

If you say yes, Ben is Dean's kid, you have to then consider that A, Michael is just stupid (unlikely), or B, he's kind and wouldn't use a kid (even more unlikely)

If you say Ben isn't, then either A, Lisa is tragically fixated on Dean (not unusual for cool!girl writing in SPN), B, Lisa is using Dean to cover her own trauma (thematically consistent), or Lisa and Ben were mind-whammied beforehand to fit a particular aesthetic for Dean (ick).

The second scenario looks more likely. I prefer option 2. And furthermore, if we're going to harp on AC/DC and leather jackets being "heritable," that's all Lisa. It's Ben who shares Lisa's tastes. She introduced him to leather jackets and AC/DC, because Lisa also apes what she looks for in a man. If a single weekend was her best after a near decade, and a year with a paranoid was that good for her, something's up with her life. She needs "normal" too much. Tldr; Lisa desperately wanted normal more than even Dean did because her life was already broken.

Maybe she needed a weekend where a man wanted her for her, not for money or whatever. Maybe it was the LACK of lindness in her life that made Dean sooooo special and the "best night of my life" shit is a smokescreen she uses to ward off this truth? Maybe it was she who desperately needed a normal apple pie family life w/o shame. Any man would do so long as they tried to make it work; so long as they were kind; anything to make Lisa appear normal.

That's a good argument as any why Lisa needed to play house so badly.

Being a cool!girl is an act. You put up with shit because you know it's the only way to get table scraps.

Lisa is the superior pretender, and Dean had no idea because he was young and perceived normal folks as "having all their shit together." Lisa's pretending is beaten only by Bela Talbot imho

P.S. Ben's not John's either for same angelic reasons as above. However, he might be Arthur Ketch's.

[neonapocalypta]

(Mostly) First Impressions of Eternal Filena

CONTEXT: Another thread repost from my twitter during my original batch of Takeshi Shudo stuff I watched while being ill in March. Of course, these are edited for any grammar and anything that didn't need to be there w/ hindsight. This time, I actually had to add stuff in the form of notes. I gotta get back on this watch, I've just been down so many rabbit holes this year. I had also watched cosmos pink shock, but never got around to talking about it despite loving it. I look forward to talking about these shows more someday. (And pretty soon for one of them...)

---

I knew getting ahold of a lot of Takeshi Shudo's early work was gonna be a challenge, but at least according to Wikipedia he did a lot of uncredited work throughout the early 70s. What a shame, even if it seems like he was just a helping hand.

Lucky for me I guess I've seen enough of the guy's work that I can usually tell what he might have written. He has a distinct style from what I've sampled so far. [NEW NOTE: This is in relation to some of the earliest shows he worked on as a writer. I had been having trouble finding his proper credit online for individual episodes he wrote. I had watched those before watching these ovas. During these shows I'd just have to watch an ep and guess if he'd pop up in the credits. I was right pretty much every time. What a nice memory.]

So far, my favs are Radio City Fantasy and Eternal Filena. Radio is a cute love story in twist with a drug trip. Filena is also a love story about two people that have to come together and make shit work.

Filena has 3 versions. The light novel (I can't read it.) the game, and the anime that was never completed. The anime is still worth watching, it has some cool visuals and frankly I love Lila and Filena a lot, so its an added bonus for me. I'm not sure which version is closer to Shudo's LN. My guess would be the anime since it seems like he had more involvement in the writing, but I'm only guessing. The game feels almost has a road trip vibe and is quicker paced compared to the anime.

I know the claim about Prof Ivy being a Lesbian was debunked recently, so its cool to be able to say Takeshi Shudo has written a lesbian couple. I know there's talk about Filena being a trans man, and I think that's valid. Though it seems like this is mostly talked about from the perspective of the game, where their character is written a bit different than the show. (Less openly affectionate, more traditionally masculine personality)

Also, if Filena is a trans the ending of the game is pretty terrible then, forcing them to wear a dress when they don't want to. (Aka forcing them to conform to women gender roles in this case.) I'm not saying that's why I think Filena isn't trans, I'm saying if they are, that's a really shitty ending for a trans guy. Epesh bc Lila, their partner, is making them wear it.

My guess is that Shudo intended them to be a lesbian couple. Rn having access to the novels would be really helpful. If you've never read a Shudo novel, at the least the Pokemon ones are written a lot different than most books. Most people would say he's a terrible writer, but I disagree. At least in those books you can feel his brain throughout the page. No one else could have written those books in that exact way. He has a voice, lets say, and I'm sure the writing style is the same in the EF LNs. Either way, I think it's so cool to have a series from the 90s that lets people speculate about queer identities and there's viable text to provoke discussion.

It's also cool to see how our main couple is treated. They live in a world where they're slaves and are only seen as entertainment. Together they see each other as loved ones, work ingas a team to create a better future for themselves. It's something you have to read/play to completely get what I mean and I think the anime is better at showing this aspect. But trust me, there's a warmth to their relationship past the romance. (no matter what type of couple they are.) With it being a romance, makes it better. Double for gay interpretation. It doesn't feel it was written to be "Lesbians be hot" but more "This is a couple". Even if in Shudo's novel they don't end up together (they do in the game.) or it goes any other way in the end, I still really respect how they're written.

MORE END OF THE GAME SPOILERS: They become queens at the end. Like Lila is on the throne with Filena. Based.

I'd love to keep talking about Filena and Lila at length bc I think they're great, but I don't want to spoil anything else. Btw the game is on the SNES and never got localized (i WoNdEr WhY?) so Filena being either a gay woman or a trans protag is pretty cool considering the era. Fuck, her being a woman protag by itself was a big deal for that era as far as I know.

*Btw not saying the Queer themes are the only reason this wasn't brought over. I could guess several like how it looks like FF or how its an adult property, and more. [NEW NOTE: I think I meant it looks enough like Final Fantasy that investors wouldn't want to risk it being in competition with those games. tbh that coulda made it a better candidate for an ENG release during certain times as well. I was just spit ballin' but it bothered me enough to add this note. While we're here, I think between it's adult and Queer themes, and also coming out in 95 is most likely why it stayed JPN excusive. I should have mentioned its late release date (for the SNES), but when you're sick and on twitter things slip through the cracks I guess.]

The game has a fan translation and there's a recent lp that shows it off. I'd say check it out if you like that era of JRPGs in general. Personally, for English speakers at least, the game then the anime is the best way to go since you'll get a full story first.

There's several reasons I like one version over the other but that's small shit and I've written enough for now. I wasn't planning on this thread becoming about Filena but I guess it is national Women's day [At time of writing] and no matter Filena's gender, Lila is a queen.

Also sorry if I get anything wrong. Espesh about Shudo's career. Info on the english web is not great. Like some websites say Radio city was his first work at 18, but it came out in 1984 and he was born in 1949. If I get anything wrong, I'll correct it.

i got a lot more Shudo stuff I've seen and want to see, so maybe next time I'll post more about Radio city. This was meant to be a small update thread lol.

[bikerjongho]

I think it's really hard to get engagement for fic writing that has any kind of substance on tumblr. everywhere I look it's just more and more self-insert oc/reader-insert x member smut (like seriously people need to stop spamming the main group tags with this stuff)!

I prefer gen, drama, comedy, angst etc. too and so I mainly go to ao3 bc it's easier to find what I enjoy and avoid what I don't, instead of wading through the tags on here when they're full of so much frankly creepy and objectifying stuff.. dgmw I have no interest in policing what people read or write, but it's frustrating that the stuff which makes me uncomfortable is so hard to avoid here. so I end up not trying to find good fic on here anymore and just staying on ao3.

I don't really have a helpful answer, except to cross-post your work to ao3 (if you're not already doing that, which you probably are..) and just shamelessly promote the hell out of your ao3 account on here! so people who might find it hard to keep track (like me and my easily overwhelmed adhd brain ✌️) can read and bookmark it there instead/as well.

Also idk any from memory but I think there are a few fic rec/network blogs here that you could maybe connect with them to help more people see your work? I know @/ficscafe closed recently, but there might be something else that's similar?

I'm sorry this is so rambly, I just wanted you to know that you're appreciated, and that I understand - I stopped writing for a long time (and still don't post anything) bc of the expectation that everything had to be short and smutty. So I wanted say don't give up! I really love your work 🥺💙

Hi anon! Thanks for your words. I really do love what I write, but I also think that self inserts and smut are valid forms of expression and an integral part of the writing community! I don't want to shit on them just because I personally don't write them. There are ways to block tags, perhaps you could block ateez smut, ateez x reader, etc and it would better your tumblr experience?

And yes, I have an ao3, it's linked in the bio. People don't really read my stuff there either -- very little views or kudos. My stuff just isn't too popular ig 🤷‍♀️

I'm also a part of most, if not all of the writing networks on Tumblr. But many of them have been shutting down as of late. I think there's just an epidemic of no interaction on Tumblr :/ and although I love writing, I want to feel appreciated so I don't want to push myself over the edge just to get nothing in return

But anyway ty for the kind words :)

[atherix0]

This is the time where we collectively find out how long I can make this ask because OH MY GOD

FIRST OF ALL as someone who loves horror I've always really loved the imagery of a safe place, ESPECIALLY in the day, being empty. A place that should have people in it just. Empty. *The streets were empty*.

Also they way you write fight scenes continues to be magnificent. Even without the flair of Scar being there, Grian's got his own flair to the way he tries to fight back and fails. And somehow grian getting KIDNAPPED is gonna be even better than them finding him half dead [or maybe,,,,all dead] on a boatem alleyway but also. Imagine. Imagine if they went looking for him and he was just a body in the road holy SHIT

OH AND THE TORTURE! The ripping at each other, Grian seeing red?????????/ I'm all in. All hands on deck, I can literally F E E L how good the rest of these chapters are going to be

[👀👀 the blood on the glyph was a nice touch]

OHOHOHO 'THEIR' FAVORITE VAMPIRE, I SEE.

oh mumbo my BOY oh my god yes cause Scar is just sitting there like "haha im definitely not going to panic" and mumbo abandoned that at like, the hour mark s2g. Oh my god the way you went back in time and had the realize things were happening prior to the glyph being activated with blood is genius but, once again, imagine if somehow they hadn't been alerted to it and suddenly scars hand is just *burning*-

oh my god Mumbo just shadow walking to Scar's home too its a good thing they went to aqua town before this because the absolutely insanity mumbo would have fallen into because Scar is like the only thing keeping him from ripping into grian's poor manager for answers. Imagine if he had to wait for scar to teleport and then just like. found blood on his own. My god.

Also as a side note i really love how shadow walking is less like teleporting and more like being funneled?????? truly that cannot be a comfortable method of transportation and yet here they are anyway.

Oh and the way Scar uses his magic here is INCREDIBLE I mean like - he's pushing magic in, pushing magic out, having to keep Mumbo from getting caught in all of it, waking all of Boatem back up, AND finding MEMORIES????????? I *LOVE* that explanation for the earlier boatem history lesson he gave grian bc I assume that's what he was doing there, too

FERAL FERAL FERAL FERAL FERAL!!!! AHHHH mumbo my BELOVED look at you GO oh my GOD - just standing there, getting darker and darker and yet Scar *trusts* him oh my *god* please just get engaged after this. Please admit a whole lotta things.

Also I reaaaaaaaaally love how you use the curse words for emphasis in this story it is GENIUS. I dont normally subscribe to the idea that characters should only be allowed to curse like once or twice to get their point across [because that advice often ignores character intention and vocabulary] but it works REALLY well here. It's so striking because Ive gotten used to the fact that the hermits dont cuss in their videos and most people dont make them cuss in fanwork, really a smart move.

OH THE BLOOD ON THE GLYPH BURNS SCAR, ALSO GENIUS because now Mumbo is holding him so gently to HELP and this man just wants to rip apart like. 500 people. But he's being SO gentle with scar PLEASE just admit you like each other at a more opportune time.

DOC MY BELOVED everyone's my beloved but DOOOOOOOOOOOOOC was not expecting to see Doc here but frankly, so smart to stick some of the characters as '''bad''' guys but have them not be bad. oh my sweet doc my poor man because this coven wants power and lord if Doc isnt power lmao and him telling grian to hide the glyph, I love him

ALSO THEY CLIPPED GRIANS WINGS AND I REALIZE I DIDNT MENTION ANYTHING ABOUT IT EARLIER BUT OH MY GOD

Leave it to Grian to be kidnapped over his blood and be like "I think we can save the turned vampires here, actually". Also frankly, doc's broken things was a great mirror to the utter chaos that happens later on wow

FERAL MUMBO MY BELOVED THERE YOU *ARE* AGHHHHHH YES also Grian just standing there and letting Mumbo kill somebody [well, a lot of somebodies in a sec] magnificent. Perfect. Mumbo really knows how to pick em

God and Scar, also, trying so hard to keep such a level head but you know underneath all of that masking he's doing he's been panicking for god knows how long and is just better at not showing it on his face.

Obsessed w grian "Well I wouldve felt bad for you but. um." sir I love you.

ALSO the way you wrote the chaos of the scene while still including visceral detail is GENIUS and I am taking NOTES because I've got a chaos scene like this in my novel that I have been struggling with and wow wow wow

Also Grian you delightful little bird you are such a GOOD fighter WOW you know, no wonder he killed his gods. He's got the skill to show it.

AND MUMBO JUST RIPPING INTO PEOPLE THIS IS EVERYTHING IVE WAITED FOR AHHH ITS PERFECT I loves him. I loves him your honor. The way he just slowly slips to become more and more inhuman, how he loses himself entirely by the end AH its everything.

Please know that i was sitting here practically screaming "grian let him dribnk your blood GRIAN LET HIM DRINK YOUR BLOOD-" for like a solid minute and then actually had to cover my face with a pillow and scream because SCAR is letting MUMBO drink his BLOOD wow. Did not see it coming yet. It's perfect. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

And poor Doc man, he's just like "Uhhhh yall good" and no. No they are not. I mean yes they are but no. And Mumbo is treating Scar as a mate and just DRANK from his NECK on the old BITE MARK so that it's HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIS bite mark now??????????? Gay, your honor. Mates, your honor. GET ENGAGED

I just love that Mumbo, half delirious, is like "Yep. Yep. Right here's good *snatches Scar down*" AND GRIAN JUST SITS THERE IN HIS GAY THOUGHTS WATCH MUMBO *DRINK SCARS NECK FROM AN OLD BITE WOUND OH MY GOD* and hes PLEASED about it, please for the love of god SCAR

There's something about Mumbo being a threat even coming out of a blood loss fueled delirium and lying on the floor that is just magnificent in every way. Hair thrown out behind him, blood still on his lips, still looking like a fucking mess with Grian and Scar trying to collect themselves in a room full of dead vampires, and mumbo is still a *threat* god bless him.

OHOHOHOHOHO hello Scar, tired, need to be in the manor, mhm mhm. Right. I just love that he's like "I finished with this coven business so I've come here to Definitely Just Talk About The Coven Business" right mhm. Obsessed with the fact that grian AND mumbo BOTH offer the manor up too like. MMMMMMMMMMM mmm mmm please the three of you are so deep into it

Mumbo whisking Scar away to make him sleep because everyone including tubbo is lecturing him about sleeping is everything to me. Mumbo, stood in the guest room where Scar sleeps, starting at HIS mark on SCARS neck to replace the Bad Mark tm that was not His AH and to be mixing his feelings between guilt and pride is everything

But also Mumbo proving that he's not totally competent in reading this relationship they've got going on because not only does he wrongly thing that Talking to Scar about his Feelings would push Scar away but also that Grian doesnt feel the same way??? Mumbo please use that fae blood to power your brain

AND THEN TO FINALLY KNOW WHAT HAPPENED TO MUMBO MY POOR MAN WOW no wonder he's still a threat when he lying on the floor recovering from his injuries, man is threatening. Crush your sire w shadows, perfect. Everything I could have wanted except that I want to crush her again. Poor Mumbo's got PTSD, understandable, but my poor man.

AND THEN THE FACT THAT HE'S RISKING EVERYTHING TO FIND THEM AND FINISH CRUSHING THEM LIKE A BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUG because their very EXISTENCE is a threat to his MATES, PLURAL, EVEN IF HE DOESNT REALIZE IT YET [Well. He does. But he doesn't] MUMBO YOU GLORIOUS CREATURE YOU truly this is the vampire politics that made me love Castlevania I LOVE where this is headed. and the way Grian reacts to this news????? and only makes mumbo love him more??? And then they have their little gay bonding moment of being in love??? everything I couldn't asked for, totally worth being up at 3:30, wow. wow wow wow. I'm gonna try going back to sleep with all of this just racing in my mind.

But also 👀👀👀 I did notice the fact that Grian got withered and it didn't eat through him with nearly the zest it got Scar, and Scar used Fae magic to keep it from eating him alive. Oh Grian, little godlings, whatcha doiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiin. between that and his clipped wings Grian is having a TIME and truly I cannot wait for them to awaken whatever is about to happen.

Also. SHOCKED the askbox didn't cut me off. How far down can this thing go.

HAHA me dropping a whole 4 chapters at the same moment <3

My answers might not be as detailed as usual bc I am super tired today and have work in two hours so <3

This one is really long so read more <3

YEAH me too, liminal spaces are just wild and I love them as a setting <3

Ahhhh thank you so much <3 I always think my fight scenes are lacking so this makes me feel better thank you <3 HAHAHA Mumbo and Scar would have never recovered from that <3 <3 <3 It's wild that Grian being kidnapped was the better of the options so <3

Think Grian is going to just lie there and take it? Aw heeellll no <3 He's gonna fight back tooth and talon, which is exactly what he at least tried <3

[Haha blood magic my beloved <3]

OH HO HO YEAH indeed, THEIR favorite Vampire~

Scar be like "level head level head" and Mumbo is just "I am going to tear this town apart" hjfsdjkfsd that's Scar's masking coming in handy again <3 Oh yeah no there is no way Mumbo wouldn't wake up, find Grian gone and start getting anxious about it- no note, no sign that Scar is in town, nothing, just gone? Haha yeah no that won't fly with him they would totally realize something is wrong and Scar take one step in Boatem and is just like "the fu-" hjfdsk ACTUALLY that was the way Scar was going to realize something was happening, but then I wanted to show Mumbo reaching out to Scar about the situation so <3

Mumbo just like "this is faster let's git" lmao it really is, because Scar would have arrived at Boatem like 10-15 minutes later just to find Mumbo absolutely feral and freaking out and panicking worse than he already was <3 Finding blood and GRIAN'S FEATHERS all alone- hfdskjfds

Ahahaha teleportation isn't the most comfortable either, Scar is used to it so hardly notices teleporting (same for Mumbo with shadow walking) but yeah- it was important to me that these two things be different even though they have roughly the same end result <3

This is one of the reasons I had to establish him as being powerful, despite his limitations jgffdlk because mans did a LOT in just a few seconds <3 YEAH in that history lesson I did try to hint a little that it was actual memories they were looking at by the amount of detail/how real it all felt and the fact that it showed events that Scar would actually cut off (figures dissolving into magic moments before their death would have been seen) instead of simply implying like he might have had it been just an illusion so~ It also doubles as a way to emphasize Scar's, and Elves' overall, connection to the world around them, as he's drawing out the memories of the very land beneath their feet so <3 I love writing about Scar using his magic hjfsdlkfds

Scar really saw murder in Mumbo's eyes because his MATE has been TAKEN and HURT and they have no ANSWERS and he trusted Mumbo to not hurt him even in that mad state <3 And he was RIGHT because Mumbo LOVES HIM but Scar doesn't KNOW THAT AND HJFSJKS-

I know the Hermits are PG and I do want to be respectful of that but also these characters are adults and in stressful situations and serious adult relationships, I think they're allowed to say fuck when things are going bad <3 I'm glad it doesn't bother you, I always make sure to put a warning in the tags of the fics that have cursing in them because I do know some people don't like it <3

It was ALSO important I think to remind people how fucked up the Covens can be and that there are other victims besides our lovely trio <3 Doc is just HHHH I love him and want him to be safe and he just wanted to go home to his family but it's far too late for that </3

Blood magic is a very tricky thing, most people fuck it up and Scar certainly did not intend for the glyphs to be activated using blood <3 So one side of the connection is active using blood and his side is not... magic is all about balance <3

YEAH Mumbo even feral and angry and panicked and all murder-y sees Scar in pain and just- hjfdsjkfds so gentle so <3

YEAH THEY DIDN'T WANT HIM TO TRY FLYING AWAY IF HE MANAGED TO ESCAPE JKGDKS

Grian is such a good heart, the moment he realized Doc and some of the other Coven members were victims too he went "save them" and just <3 Haha thank you~! <3 Not like Doc needs them anymore, this mans is getting *therapy*

YEAAHHHHH he finally gets to be feral and tear things apart and remind everyone around him that he's really not human anymore <3 Grian just watches him rip these people apart and is just thinking "my love <3 my hero <3" and then he helps hjflsdkkjfsd

Oh god yeah, imagine if he didn't work for the Council and had never been in this kind of situation before and wasn't nearly as good at masking as he is- oh man he'd be an absolute mess hjfdslkfds-

I mean Grian is such a mood on that, like he sees what looks like a genuinely loving relationship between two Vampires who had him tortured and threatened Mumbo and is just "serves you right" so <3

HJFSJKDSJKFS chaos scenes are so much fun and I just hjfjkds I'm so glad I didn't lose any detail or meaning in the chaos <3 thank you thank you hhhhh <3

If Grian hadn't been taken by surprise and shot in one of the most painful non-lethal places a person can be shot, there wouldn't have been a story because he would have ripped that Vampire apart with his own two hands <3

YEAH he keeps just enough sense to keep track of Grian and Scar but he is not human anymore and this really highlights it and they both love him anyway and just want to help him and hjfhjdj <3 And he's feral and angry and so protective and just hjfdjs

HAHA I had originally planned on Grian letting Mumbo feed on him but A, he's so injured and even as a godling his blood isn't that much different from a Natural's right now so it would take a LOT of his blood to heal Mumbo, and B, I don't want Mumbo to know yet that Grian has the hints of non-Natural blood <3

Scar was silently freaking out about it bc he was about to let a Vampire feed on him, even though he's recently had a traumatic run-in with being unwillingly fed on, but it's MUMBO and Mumbo is too injured to safely move and Mumbo is also in this feral semi-conscious semi-catatonic state and he TRUSTS Mumbo to not hurt him and really it's just a little bite on the arm no big deal a little Fae blood to help heal his wounds faster right-

YEAH HAHA Grian is just like "woah wait oh my god" and Scar is panicking because the man he loves is biting him on the NECK and Grian is just WATCHING and they're both having very Gay Thoughts about this and just hjfgdsjkfg GRIAN THINKING IN THAT TWISTED LITTLE HEAD OF HIS just PLEASED that Mumbo has basically marked Scar with a very visible bite on his neck and now when he looks at that scar they're all gonna remember MUMBO biting him instead and just hjgfdsjkgds they're all such disasters I'm-

Doc really be like "tf did I just witness I think I should be scared and I think I am ok he's hissing at me to leave I better leave before I die ok" hjfdslkfgds mans has had a hard life and even being rescued he gets the bad end of the stick hjgfdjkfgd

YEAH HAHA Scar offer his arm and Mumbo being semi-conscious just looks at him like tf no and then, cuz Scar was wearing his work clothes including his hair braided down his back and his neck was exposed, seeing that old bite mark from a different Vampire and just HJSVFJKS I may have hinted before that Mumbo would do that hehe <3

Oh god yes, that's the power of absolutely being a Lord and a proper Lord at that- none of this rinky dinky weak-ass mofos relying on their mates or the twisted ones who send their followers to their deaths, he is protective and he is a THREAT at all moments, don't get too close on a normal day but when he's like this- hjfdjkfds literally bleeding out on the floor and Doc knows not to get anywhere near close hjkfgdsl

Hahaha and they really went "nope <3 sleep" lmao Scar is so tired and needs so much rest <3 HAHA "offered" that was a fucking demand <3 I feel like you're gonna go absolutely feral the first time Scar ends up sleeping in Mumbo's bed hjfdslkfs THEY ARE SO DEEP IN <3

Scar, being an Elf and only sleeping once every five days, being lectured about the importance of the very little sleep he already gets <3 Mumbo just being like "yeah time to go to sleep come on" and just hjkfdk HE FEELS GUILTY FOR DOING IT BECAUSE SCAR OFFERED HIS ARM NOT HIS NECK BUT HE ISN'T SORRY HE DID IT AND JUST HJFSDKJS now it's HIS mark and jhfklkluglf-

HJKFHSKJFDJLKFS YEAH lmao <3 he thinks Grian would be against it because he's a possessive little bird but he hasn't yet realized that Grian would be for it BECAUSE he's a possessive little bird jfgdlsf ALSO he's not 100% wrong about it pushing Scar away, bc Scar is oblivious and doesn't realize Grian's caught feelings too so if either of them confess without the other all he sees is his best friends' partner confessing to him without him knowing that they BOTH feel this way and Scar loves them but he isn't that kind of person </3 So Mumbo is absolutely right that Scar would have distanced himself out of respect for Grian, they BOTH have to tell him at the same time or else Scar will feel like he's hurting their relationship and just fhjkdsgjkds-

Mumbo won't let them take everything away from him again <3 magic when it is first developing can be a scary and unpredictable thing <3 Mumbo is terrifying, he's a threat and he's oh so protective and even other Vampires are low key afraid of him, the first time he ever used his shadow magic he DESTROYED his Sire, and he may have taken out some of the Coven on his way out <3

HE WILL PROTECT THEM NO MATTER WHAT even if it puts him on that Coven's radar again <3 he absolutely intends to finish what he started nearly five centuries ago, this man will take on the world if it means his new family will be safe <3

Grian, who knows nothing of Vampire politics or values, hearing Mumbo confess to all this and just being like "you were well within your right and I don't blame you, I will stay by your side no matter what" and just cfjykfif Mumbo falls even more in love and gnkfdnhg lays it all out for him to hear, loves everything from his greatest strengths to his greatest flaws and they are equally matched in their love and just fnfjgjifgkf

Haha well I hope you slept well after all this <3 I was up til 3 am to post it so I understand hahaha <3

👀 👀 haha Grian is suffering rn but one day he'll make them pay <3 I can't wait for the moment he 'awakens' it's gonna be so much fun gdgnnhfg

Tumblrs ask box has no power over the feral Mumbo enjoyer <3 haha ngl this took me an hour to answer I'm literally finishing it on the car ride to work and this delights me <3

[skiller0dani]

Bad Girl| Ethan Nestor

MASTERLIST YouTube Masterlist

smut requested requests info

hey guys it's been a while! Got this amazing request recently and I had to write it asap. love you all xx

Ethan didn't have many rules for you, but the most important one by far was to not bother him while he's streaming.

With the two of you keeping your relationship a secret there's just too much that can go wrong. He's live so if you came into the room, people could hear, rumors could start. More than anything Ethan wants to protect you so you coming into his recording room while he's streaming is completely out of the question. Normally you respected this rule without question, it was his YouTube channel after all, so he got to call the shots. More than that however, Ethan called the shots in other aspects of your life.

When it came to the sex, he called the shots in that too. But you always did what he said, and frankly, you felt like being a bad girl.

All day you've needed him, from the very second you woke up and the gentle morning sex he'd provided wasn't nearly enough to satiate you. You still felt that uncomfortable throbbing from between your thighs, and it lingered for most of the day. Any attempt you made to get his cock resulted in a soft kiss on the head and a "sorry baby I'm too busy today."

You laid back on the couch, irked to all hell. How could Ethan not see that he was depriving you? You pushed the heel of your hands into your eyes and groaned, your pussy was damp and aching and there wasn't a damn thing you could do about it. Spencer sat happily at your feet chewing on a squeaky bone. At least one of you was happy.

You heard Ethan laugh from inside his recording room, he was currently streaming Among Us. You feel so frustrated you want to cry and when you glance at the clock you feel like crying all over again. It's only 1:30, and Ethan is only 20 minutes into his stream. Meaning at this rate Ethan won't be able to help you until later tonight. You whined to yourself, snaking your hand under the sleep shorts you were wearing. Your fingers found your clit and you began to rub small circles just like Ethan does. It does little to nothing to relieve the pounding in your core. Only Ethan can.

You stand from your spot on the couch to go grab a bottle of water, hoping that some cold water will help calm you down. You lean against the counter, sipping at the cold water when you remember the night before. Ethan had come home from filming with someone he doesn't know very well. The recording session was frustrating and he hadn't gotten any good footage, meaning the entire day was a giant waste of time. By the time Ethan had gotten back to the house he was beyond frustrated and the first thing he did was bend you over the kitchen counter and slam into you mercilessly. You feel a shudder run down your spine at the memory and you groan softly in annoyance. You're not going to survive the day like this.

You went upstairs and into your shared room with Ethan and sat on the edge of the bed, you're always such a good girl. You followed every rule and every command without too much complaint. And today Ethan told you to wait. His rule today was to be a good girl and wait for his cock until that night. But damnit you're so turned on right now you feel like you're going to combust into flames.

You don't want to be a good girl today. You feel like breaking the rules.

With a smirk you stand from the bed and creep down the hallway, nearing his recording room. Once you're stood outside the door you feel a rush of adrenaline rush through you, you've never broken this rule before. In all 12 months of your relationship with Ethan, you've never interrupted him while he's live streaming. You almost turn back but when you hear Ethan groan in annoyance it sends tingles down your spine and a fresh wave of arousal dampening your panties. Gritting your teeth you quietly open the door and watch as Ethan's surprised eyes flicker to you for a second.

You bite your lip and sink to the floor, luckily Ethan's desk doesn't have a back so you easily crawl underneath it.

Being careful not to bump the desk you slowly crawl in between Ethan's legs, and he instinctively spreads his legs wider for you. When he glances back down at you, you feel heat rush through your entire body at the angry look in his eyes. He raises a warning brow before turning back to the game and for a second you consider leaving, but the pulsing from between your legs stops you. You bite your lip and reach forward, carefully unbuttoning Ethan’s jeans and slowly pulling his zipper down. 

Ethan tenses, his heart hammering in his chest as he does his best to act natural. This isn’t a regular video, he can’t edit anything out. This is being broadcasted live to nearly a million people. When he feels your dainty hands reaching into his jeans he sucks in a breath through his teeth. 

“Ethan you okay?” Bob asks, unfortunately for Ethan they decided to play Among Us with proximity chat on. Ethan clears his throat, “yeah stubbed my toe.” He lies but he knows it doesn’t sound very convincing. 

You wrap your hand around his hardening cock and you nearly moan when you finally free it from his jeans. The sight of it makes you even more wet then you were before, it’s hard and precumming. It’s beautiful. You lean forward instantly and wrap your lips around the head, sucking softly. Ethan clenches his jaw as he focuses all of his attention on the game in front of him. He keeps his eyes firmly on the screen because he knows if he looks at you it’s game over. Ethan would end the stream and have you bent over this desk in less than 30 seconds if he saw the beautiful sight happening under the desk. 

You keep your lips wrapped around him as you suddenly take all of him in your mouth. Ethan gasps softly in surprise, and this is when he notices the comments on his stream. 

Ethan flashes a smile to the camera, doing his best to pretend he doesn’t notice that every single comment is about him and not about the game. Embarrassment floods through Ethan’s body as he keeps his eyes on his monitor. You continue to slide him down your throat, and Ethan’s eyes briefly flutter shut. When one comment pops up, Ethan panics. 

what’s wrong Ethan???  he looks like he’s in pain  someone should tell the other people on the stream bc ethan does not look okay right now ethan are you okay? 

Shit. Ethan continues to ignore the comments, when did his fan base become little detectives? You bob your head down the full length of his cock, taking him into your mouth fully. It’s becoming increasingly harder to keep the sounds quiet so that nobody notices. When you swallow around him Ethan groans softly, “fuck.” 

does eef have a girl over?? ;)  omg ethan’s totally getting sucked off rn ngl ethan looks super fucking hot 

“Ethan?” This time it’s Mark. You pull off Ethan and smirk as you pump his cock with your hand. The arousal is coating your thighs at this point and you nearly moan out loud just thinking about what Ethan is going to do to you after this. 

“Ethan I’m getting some pretty interesting comments on my stream about you,” Jack says with a teasing tone to his voice. Ethan remains quiet, he doesn’t trust himself to say anything casually. “Got some company Ethan?” Jack says causing a chorus of laughter to ensue afterwards while everyone waits for another round to start. “His silence is...suspicious.” Steven adds through the laughter. 

Unable to focus any longer, Ethan releases a breath he’d been holding as he finally glances down at you. The sight before him stops him cold, you’re sitting on your knees with his cock in your mouth. Your breasts are spilling from the tight tank top you’re wearing and he can see the damp spot forming on the crotch of your shorts. His pupils blow wide as he quickly ends the stream and turns off the camera. The second he’s sure everything is shut off he pushes back from the desk and yanks you to your feet. 

“You think that was funny?” Ethan growls when he sees the smirk on your face. In an instant Ethan has you pulled over his lap, “you think it was funny to suck my cock when I was live? I can’t cover any of that up baby.” Ethan says, his voice low as his hands find the waistband of your shorts. 

“I need you.” You whined as he yanked your shorts down. Ethan hummed in satisfaction once he sees your glistening pussy. “Yes I can see that.” He hums, spreading your lips apart so he can look at you better. 

“I just fucked you this morning baby girl, you couldn’t wait? I’m pretty sure I told you to wait until tonight.” He says, the dominance beginning to seep into his tone. You moaned in delight when you feel Ethan spank you hard. “I couldn’t wait Ethan, I needed you now.” You explain, with a pout on your face. 

“Now all my friends know what a dirty girl you are, and now so do all my fans as well. We aren’t going to be a secret anymore baby, you just outed us.” Ethan explains, his fingertips brushing through your folds. You whine desperately as you try to grind back into his hand, but he pulls away. “It was time baby, oh my god Ethan please just fuck me please.” You plead shamelessly. 

Ethan continues to rub the globes of your ass as you moan and wriggle in his lap, “hm I’m not sure you deserve it now baby. You didn’t listen to me, I’m not sure you deserve my cock anymore.” He says, a small smirk on his face when he sees the look of pure desperation cross onto your face. “No Ethan please, I’ll listen now. I-I will I promise baby!” Ethan taps on your hip, signaling you to stand. Once your stood in front of him you moan again, you’ve never seen him look sexier then he does right now. 

His hair is messy and his chest his heaving, but the best part is between his legs. His cock is hard and his legs are spread wide, and the heated look Ethan is giving you makes you want to melt into the floor. “Go wait for me in our room.” Is all Ethan says, and you immediately scramble out of the room and down to hall to yours and Ethan’s bedroom. You sit on the bed and anxiously wait for him, your entire body buzzing in anticipation. When 10 agonizing minutes pass Ethan finally opens the door, his jeans still opened. “I’ve thought of a fitting punishment for you Princess.” 

Ethan walks to his side of the bed before sitting down, pulling you to stand in front of him. “Since you don’t seem to like my rules, why don’t you be in charge then baby?” Your heart sinks, and you immediately shake your head. 

“But I love it when you’re in control, I love following your rules.” You argue but Ethan shakes his head with a teasing smile on his face. 

“I seem to have lost my authority, you don’t listen to me anymore baby. So you try being in charge, tell me what to do.” Ethan reaches forward and yanks you towards him. You fall against his chest, your lips a hairs length from him, “boss me around.” He whispers and you swallow a thick lump in your throat. You stand again, feeling anxious and unsure of what to do. Normally Ethan tells you what to do, but he just relinquished all control to you and you already hate it. 

Ethan watches with knowing eyes, he knows already that you have no idea what to do. “Well? What do you want me to do baby?” Ethan asks, watching the blush crawl up your neck and tint the edges of your ears. You tremble, “um...I-” you feel your throat close as tears well in your eyes. In a second Ethan is pulling you into his arms, smoothing your hair down and pressing kisses to your head. You melt into his embrace while he mumbles loving words into your hair. “I’m sorry baby I didn’t mean to upset you.” Ethan whispers, pressing soft kisses to your head. 

“Is that how you felt on the stream? Embarrassed?” You ask hesitantly and to your dismay, Ethan nods. 

“Kinda, but it’s okay baby.” You lean up to press a kiss to his lips. 

“I’ve learned my lesson, I promise. I know why you make those rules now.” You say softly and Ethan brushes hair out of your face with a small smile. “Can you be in charge again?” Instead of answering Ethan flashes you a smile before pressing a kiss to your forehead. 

“Lay down baby.” In an instant the heat floods through your body again as you scramble to lay down on the bed. Ethan stands and swiftly yanks his shirt over his head, and motions for you to do the same. Sitting up you quickly pull your shirt off, watching as Ethan kicks his jeans and boxers off as well. Ethan hovers over you, and you feel his cock nudging at your entrance and in an instant you spread your legs wider for him. Ethan slides just the head of his cock into you and he stills. You wriggle your hips, “Ethan please,” You beg in a gasp. 

Cupping your cheeks, Ethan turns your head to look him in the eyes. “No more bothering me while I’m live got it?” He says and you nod instantaneously. With one sharp thrust, Ethan slides the rest of the way in and both of you release a moan. Pressing his lips to yours he begins to thrust into you and you feel the heat building already. You wrap your legs around him, locking your ankles behind his back as he slowly picks up speed. Ethan pulls out, “bend over.” He gasps and you move to bend over the bed, already missing the stretch his cock provided. As soon as you’re bent over in front of him, Ethan grasps your hips and thrusts back into you. 

Your face is pressed into the bed as you cry out softly, Ethan slamming into you again and again. “Fucking took my dick in your mouth in front of the entire world, you’re lucky they only saw me. If anyone else saw how beautiful you look with a cock in your mouth I think I’d lose my mind.” Ethan growls and you can only moan in response as your fists twist the sheets in your hands. You feel the coil in your abdomen winding tighter and tighter and when Ethan reaches around your body to softly pinch your clit you’re crying out and convulsing around him, leading him to his orgasm as well. You collapse against the bed and Ethan rubs a hand up and down your back before gently pulling out with a wince. 

He helps you into bed and lays down next to you, pulling your bare body against his chest. “I’m sorry I embarrassed you.” You say softly, but Ethan merely presses a kiss to your lips. 

“Only a little, I couldn’t be bothered too much I mean you were sucking my dick. Doesn’t get better than that.” Ethan shrugs, causing you to blush. You sit up when Ethan stands from the bed, reaching around for his clothes. 

“Now if your unusually high sex drive has been fully satisfied, I have some explaining to do.” Ethan teases, causing you to giggle. With a kiss to your sweaty forehead Ethan is exiting the room, and you lay back against the bed with the widest smile stretched across your face. 

[g4rous]

Sunlit memories (Garou x Reader)

tags: slight mentions of blood, no warnings really

words: 1.5 k

notes: this one is slightly longer than the two before bc I had to put in a lot of stuff here lol but anyways aa here it is finally! Tried making it a bit lighthearted <3

series masterlist

previous chapter

Chapter three

After lazily opening your eyes, pain spread through your head. The blackness from your vision cleared away, leaving a fog in your mind and the painful sensation was the first thing you could register before you felt the cold brick wall you were leaning on.

What just happened? Trying to recall how you got in that position, your eyes trailed to the opposite wall, now realizing you didn’t even remember being in this alley in the first place.

“Yo, you’re awake.”

Looking over at a few large wooden crates, your focus now shifted to the silver-haired teen sitting on top of them. You didn’t even make out a response upon witnessing the injuries behind his torn, black shirt. The puzzle was coming together.

Last sight you remember before going unconscious were the heroes from that mini-market fighting the same person right in front of you now. For a moment you almost thought you were being delirious, yet those wounds only proved your suspicions. Was he the self-proclaimed “Hero Hunter” everyone has been wild about recently?

“So…” he looked at you with an awkward expression, “ you gonna go now or?”

Slightly flinching as you snapped back to reality, now you were left completely perplexed on what to do. On one hand the realization made you feel quite uneasy, but on the other you were safe for some reason, despite getting caught up in the ruckus from before.

“What happened to those guys earlier..?”

“Oh, their bodies are probably still lying face down right around the corner,” he grinned, “if no one found them already, that is.”

However after picking up your distraught expression that boastful tone faded in an instant.

“Hey, hey they’re not dead, jeez quit freaking out.”

You only frowned after giving him a small glare. Your head still ached, although not as strong from a few minutes ago. How long have you been out? Judging by the still-sunset sky it shouldn’t have been more than fifteen minutes, much to your relief. The street was still deserted and silent as well.

“Well, thanks for saving my skin back there I guess…” you looked over at his injuries, staggering for a moment after standing up.

“However, you should definitely get those injuries checked out. I think I saw a hospital or something around here somewhere.”

A few seconds passed as he looked at you with a blank stare.

“Nah, I’m good.”

“Dude you’re literally bleeding all over.”

“I said I’m fine!-“, he exclaimed only to flinch in pain. “-why are you so worried anyways? Just go home.”

“Talk about stubborn,” you thought to yourself.

Though, on second thought you do see a good reason why he shouldn’t. It’s almost as if you had forgotten that you witnessed him straight up thrash some A-classes. That and all the other questions that piled up still haven’t left your mind, but be as it may now wasn’t the time for overthinking. People must be pursuing him everywhere now, huh?

You leaned against the wall, still contemplating the situation. Water droplets from the roof were the only thing breaking the silence as you both stood there quiet. That is, until you got an idea.

“I don’t plan on talking you into it anymore…” you spoke with a tinge of nervousness, “but I do have some bandages at home. It’ll just be ten minutes until we get there, I give you them and you can leave. I don’t think sitting on those crates until you bleed out is really practical.”

The teen almost reflexively wanted to protest but not a single sentence came out. He really couldn’t think of anything that made your idea sound regrettable, and as much as he hated to admit it he wasn’t in the best shape. You on the other hand felt almost obligated to help him out. Putting aside that shocking realization from earlier, he did watch over you after you got KO’d.

After finally jumping off the crates, he shrugged and put both hands in his pockets.

“Eh, sure.”

You gave a relieved smile before taking a look at the still empty street you were both heading for. The sky turned into shades of amaranthine and bit by bit street lights began illuminating the path. The streets nearing your house weren’t as deserted as the one you woke up in, and occasionally you had to move to a more hidden route. Fortunately you’ve been greeted by your neighborhood cat soon after, indicating the destination- your safe home.

“I don’t think you told me your real name yet, if I may know? I’m y/n by the way.”

“It’s Garou,” he responded after looking around, almost hesitantly.

“So… Why were you doing that today?” you spoke as you reached out for your keys.

“Why does it matter to you?”

“Dunno, you don’t see someone beating up heroes every day.”

Taking a quick glance around your surroundings, you opened the door at last.

“You sure like answering questions with a question, huh?” you gave a tired smile, “ah, I won’t force out any answers from you I guess.”

The lights in the hallway were already open, illuminating the other rooms, some half empty. After all you still had some work to do in the house. Making your way to your room, the bag of trash next to the wall caught your attention briefly. You couldn’t remember the reason you left off in such a hurry, not even throwing it away.

“Well, come in!” you shouted from the other room, “just don’t get any blood on the carpet please.”

But much to your amusement the on-the-outside intimidating man just stood there with a blank expression ever since you stepped into the apartment. You weren’t sure was it politeness or just plain awkwardness but it made you cackle internally.

Even so, after your call he cautiously stepped out to the living room, actually being careful not to dirty the carpet as you told. The room was pleasingly decorated, and even if he didn’t know you it simply radiated with your energy. It was oddly comfortable.

And as you finally stepped out of your room with that first-aid kit, a ring on your doorbell caught you both by surprise. You almost asked yourself whether that’s a hero in front of the door, before your memory got jogged again.

“Well shit.”

You gestured an already alert and intense Garou to step away from the door, to which he only raised an eyebrow.

“Ah…” you whispered, looking over to the side, “I kinda forgot I called a friend over.”

“You remembered just now!?”

“I was knocked out!” you complained, much to his discontent.

What were you supposed to do now? You thought to yourself as your eyes trailed from the door to the teen. The doorbell rang once again as to make the atmosphere grow even more unsteady.

“Guess we have to improvise…”

“You’re joking right?”

“If she saw a beat-up guy jumping out my window I wouldn’t hear the end of it.”

He only rolled his eyes as you went to the door to finally greet your friend, adjusting your shirt along the way.

Frankly, you felt somewhat guilty for roping him in, all bloody and bruised to socialize with your rather concerned friend. Well, who wouldn’t get a little suspicious to see a strange man in their friend’s living room. To make things even more awkward he hadn’t said more than two sentences in the past hour, not that it’s surprising.

“So-,” your friend smiled, desperately trying not to glare at the man’s injuries, “- how did you two become friends?”

“Ah, it’s from that monster incident I told you about earlier,” you smiled back.

“So that’s why he’s so bruised,” she glanced over at him sympathetically, to which he only glared at you deadpan.

“Nothing special.” He spoke in a bluntly before yawning.

“Oh, how come?”

“He delivers stuff!” you exclaimed before any other thoughts came to mind, “sometimes he comes across them there too unfortunately. Poor guy.”

As if his deadpan look couldn’t get any drier.

It was crystal clear he hates being pitied, and you desperately tried not to let out a chuckle because of the ridiculous situation. Truthfully you weren’t even nervous anymore since you let out so many laughs. And your constant teasing only made him talkative since he just had to drop something even more embarrassing for payback, making the evening even more amusing. You didn’t even notice the clock struck midnight already from all the banter.

After saying farewell to your friend, you came back to your living room to see Garou already at the window.

“Looks like you really don’t wanna use the door today huh? Well, way better now than having to explain why some bloody dude jumped out my window earlier,” you grinned, to which he scoffed.

“Pfft, yeah, yeah. Don’t drag me into any more of these things though.”

“Aw, it wasn’t that bad.”

“Well, it better not happen anymore,” he rolled his eyes before flashing a small grin.

“See ya.”

You only gave your small wave before finally closing the window. The apartment was now rather serene, contrasting all the playfulness from earlier. Yet still you couldn’t help but notice that smile caught you by surprise. Nothing like that cocky smirk in battle- this was genuine.

[churchyardgrim]

KING OF THE DEAD by Gene DeWeese

[intro post]

oh boy, oh happy day, i get to talk about Azalin Rex

this book does some fun stuff with mild fakeouts and starting at the end and then jumping back to the beginning in a way where it's not immediately clear how one connects to the other, but it's not done in such a way that it's meant to pull the wool over the reader's eyes, which is good bc i already knew the end twist going in and lemme tell u it is very satisfying watching our charming protag charge headlong and heedlessly towards his own doom

Firan Zal'Honen is a wizard! he's the very best wizard who ever wizarded, and currently he has no idea where he came from or why he's not there anymore or what the fuck just happened

all he knows is, he was tortured with visions for a bit, as one does, and then the mist spat him out in a place called Darkon, and the guy in charge of Darkon, helpfully named Darcalus, is the object of Firan's utter and all consuming loathing, and also killed his son probably

so Firan does what any reasonable wizard would do and enlists the help of some local coup-organizers to weasel his way into the upcoming Met Gala for all the governors in this place. he sneaks out of the approved areas, argues with the ghost of his son for a bit, barges in some places he's not supposed to be, and finally finds what he's been after: the object containing the soul of his nemesis, without which Darcalus, an undead wretch, is mortal and vulnerable

smashy smashy!

unfortunately this is Ravenloft, where the universe can and will bend over backwards to fuck you over, and Firan has some conspicuous gaps in his memory. gaps that are helpfully filled when the punchup with Darcalus turns into a merging of souls and minds and oh shit, thats you Firan buddy! the thing you were hellbent on revenge for? you did all that!

and now the book takes 150 pages to explain itself, going down the laundry list of Firan's life up to this point. this is less interesting to me than what just happened, so suffice to say he was a stubborn and prideful magical prodigy that ended up the wizard-king ruler of a country called Knurl out in the prime material plane

the man's lawful evil all the way down, having some uhhhhhhh lets say draconian ideas about how to maintain peace and order, and yes it does involve a lot of beheadings how did u guess. eventually he figures out that magic can't, in fact, keep him kicking forever, and puts some effort into getting himself an heir. 

there's a frankly hilarious bit where he has a crisis of confidence upon realizing that a decade of trying has produced no viable results, and despite having mastery of the unquenchable fire of the stars he apparently never learned the Scan Ur Dick spell, so the problem might just be you, Firan, did u ever think of that before blaming ur wife

anyway turns out his wife did in fact curse his dick so once he got that taken care of he gets himself a lovely lil scion to raise in his perfect mirror image

shockingly, this goes as follows: 

Firan: "my son! i will teach you to rule as i do, with a fair and just iron fist!"

Irik: "hm. consider, tyranny bad? oh cool ur not listening immmmm just gonna go join the rebels real quick"

Firan: "........."

Firan: "anyway i need to execute you now"

Irik: "cool. i forgive you btw."

Firan, an hour later: [great sobbing wizard tantrum about how his son's dead now]

me: [also great sobbing wizard tantrum about how his son's dead now]

seriously, despite being the world's stupidest smart person, and also objectively evil, this guy has a lot of pathos! i feel for this idiot! i wanna shake him by the lapels and make him acknowledge how much he actually cares for his son!

the big thing here is he's baked Lawfulness into his own nature to the point where any emotion that doesn't follow what his idea of a Proper Ruler should be gets ruthlessly cauterized. except it doesn't work like that, you prick, so he ends up eating his own tail about how he did exactly the right thing, his only fault was not raising irik to be a "stronger" prince, and thats why he feels like his heart is breaking from grief and guilt.

except it can't be guilt bc he did nothing wrong. do u see the problem here.

anyway this is where the quote unquote Dark Powers get involved. they coerce Firan into taking the next step on his Foolproof Live Forever Through Positive Thinking And Magic plan, and one really bad baja blast later the man's a fullblown lich

lich powers! necromancy! shame the only form he's capable of bringing his son back to life in is a wretched rotting shadow of true life, in constant agony and despair, and not even Firan is gonna settle for that

so back to the drawing board! he spends the next few decades scouring the continent for magical secrets and tales of resurrection, trying to find a way to bring his son back properly and gain atonement for both of them

eventually the mists take him and drop him into Barovia, bc Strahd's the fuckign welcome wagon for new arrivals i guess, and Firan, by now called Azalin, sets up shop in Castle Ravenloft for forty fuckign years

they were tombmates

oh my god, they were tombmates

to my unending outrage, the book spends barely a chapter on this period. give me more damn you! show me the petty squabbles, the arguments over who keeps leaving corpses in the hallway, the lingering sexual tension on movie nights! i deserve to know who tops goddammit!

but no, we just skip to Azalin chasing after a mirage into the mists four decades later, and then uhhhhhh getting split in two? like when a cartoon character gets zapped with a science laser and splits into Good Half and Evil Half? except it's Human Half and Lich Half, which hate each other on instinct

and we're back at the beginning! with human Firan acting on his loathing for the lich Darcalus, only to fuse together again and force him to confront the fact that the person he holds such hatred and anger for is himself

thus, Azalin Rex settles into his final form. a wretched, undead genius, locked in his own prison domain and given a country to rule the way one gives a highly maladjusted macaw a rubix cube with a peanut hidden inside

in conclusion, i am now in the stage of grief labeled "memes"

[hiiraya]

didn’t know what i had (rewrite)

masterlist

pairing: natasha romanoff  x reader

words: ~3,216

warnings: angst, break-up (pls lemme know if there's anything else i should add!)

requested: nope :p

a/n: this is my one and only nat series (because i suck at writing series, and continuity - bad memory gang represent - in general) but pls lemme know what y'all think!  (also i think i got a little carried away bc this used to be 2k+ words and now it's 3k+ words)

part 1 | part 2 | part 3

“Marry me?”

Despite your voice shaking from the nervousness running through your veins, you stayed hopeful, looking up at Natasha from where you were kneeling on the ground, almost dropping the velvet box in your hand from how anxious you felt.

“…what?”

"Uh-, w-will you marry me?”

You can already feel the dread starting to settle in your stomach when she takes your hands and pulls you to your feet.

She doesn't meet your eyes when she lets go of your hands, looking at everywhere else but you.

“Y/N… I’m sorry, but I can’t marry you.”

-

It felt like the universe was mocking you ever since Natasha said no to your proposal 4 months ago.

Neither of you had told anyone on the team that you had tried to ask her to marry her and you preferred it to stay that way.

Tony and Pepper went and got married (which of course, you were elated about, you'd been rooting for them from the very beginning), and then what seemed like only a few months after that Wanda and Vision decided to tie the knot too.

Being their close friends, of course, you and Natasha were invited to both of the ceremonies.

You were happy for your friends (how could you not be?), but you couldn’t help but feel like you were missing out.

Sure, you two were still together, but compared to before where you would always be attached at the hip, it was like the two of you suddenly became polar opposites. Whenever the newlywed couples were in either of your vicinities, you found yourself actively trying to avoid your girlfriend and vice versa.  

No one but the two of you knew the reason why.

-

"I just want to know why, Nat."

You hadn't meant to bring up the topic of marriage again, but Tony decided to call you and Nat out on why you hadn’t gotten married yet.

To put it in his words, “you guys have been together for what, almost six years now? You're already practically married at this point!”

And even though you respected her decision to say no, there was always a tiny part of you that wanted to know the reason as to why she said no in the first place.

"I'm just not ready and you know this, Y/N," she sighs, shaking her head.

It was always like this now; constant sighing, the cold shoulders, the both of you getting irritated with the other that lead to yelling and arguing about the tiniest things.

"Marriage isn't in the cards for me; a family isn't in the cards for me. I’m sorry if it is for you, but I can’t give you that.”

You should’ve know better than to expect more of an explanation from her. In fact, you were surprised that she even said that much considering she found every excuse to leave the room when any of your friends even so much as hinted at the topic of marriage.

Your shoulders sag at her answer, but you nod anyways.

“You’re right, that's my bad," you mutter, "I'm sorry for bringing it up again.”

You're too lost in your head as you leave the room to see the wary glance Natasha sends your way.

-

“It's like we're walking on eggshells, Wanda. We’re acting like we don’t even know each other anymore.”

Natasha didn’t mean to eavesdrop in on your conversation with Wanda. Clearly you thought it was only you and Wanda in the living room, especially because everyone else had announced that they were doing their own things for the day.

“Asking her to marry me was a stupid idea," she hears you sigh, "I should’ve just kept my stupid mouth shut.”

A sigh is heard all the way from where she was hiding in the kitchen, knowing that the younger girl was most likely frowning at your words.

Wanda could feel the regret and uncertainty emanating from you as you sat next to her, your thoughts practically screaming at her for her to take a peak inside your mind.

(Wanda didn’t mention to you that she could hear someone else’s thoughts just a room away.)

You’d never spoken to Natasha about how you felt (granted, she didn’t talk to you about how she felt either), and she couldn’t help but agree with your words from earlier.

You two were walking on eggshells; you rarely spoke to one another ever since she said no to your proposal, the air becoming tense and awkward whenever the two of you were in the same room.

As much as you tried to show just how much it didn't affect you, she could see it in the way your mannerisms changed, the jokes you used to share with her slowly coming to an end, like you were back to being strangers all of a sudden.

“Please don't say that, Y/N/N. You’re not stupid, asking her wasn't stupid, you didn't know that she was going to say no.”

Judging from the lack of response from you, Nat took that as the end of your conversation.

Taking a peak from her spot, she saw you sitting beside Wanda, looking visibly troubled.

Deciding not to violate your privacy any longer than she already had, she starts to walk back to her room. It’s the defeated tone in your voice when you speak up that stops her in her tracks.

“Why doesn’t she want to be my wife?”

-

Arguing seemed to be the norm nowadays whenever you two were alone together.

“So, you’re talking to Wanda about our problems now?”

She came back to the living room after hearing Wanda leave, promising that she would be back later with food, leaving you sitting alone on the couch with your thoughts.

“What are you talking about, Nat?”

She watches you sag further into the cushions while she walks over to you, standing over you with her arms crossed over her chest.

“‘It's like we're walking on eggshells, Wanda. We’re acting like we don’t even know each other anymore.’”

She parrots your words from before and watches the realisation fall on your face when you realise that she heard your conversation with Wanda.

“What do you want me to say, Nat?" You frown. "We are walking on eggshells, and whenever we’re alone we just end up arguing. We keep going in circles, and I don’t know what to do anymore.”

“Then don’t do anything," She bites back, "clearly we’re going nowhere.”

It’s not the right words to say and she knows it, but she was just as tired of the fighting as you were.

“What do you mean 'we're going nowhere'?”

Was she really willing to throw away the a six-year relationship she shared with you?

"I'm done talking with you."

She's deflecting and you both know it, but before she can say anything else you scoff, something she's noticed you doing more often whenever she was around.

“Well you don't have to worry about that," You retort. "You don’t ever have to talk to me anymore about anything, Natalia.”

She can't explain the way her heart drops to her stomach, the feeling like she's just lost something inherently important to her as she watches you walk away from her.

-

As cliché as it sounded, you wanted to run away from everything. Well, more specifically someone.

So you did just that.

“Are you sure that you want to join me on this, Y/N?" Maria asks you for the nth time in the past 10 minutes. "I don’t even know when we’ll be back.”

You liked the think that it was the universe trying to make it up to you for all the shit it's put you through in the last months when caught Maria leaving Fury’s office, asking her if there were any missions that you could tag along to.

Luckily for you, she was leaving for a recon mission and you jumped at the chance to leave with her.

Maria hadn’t heard about what happened between you and Natasha, everyone but Wanda had still yet to find out, and frankly you’d wanted to delay telling her for as long as you could.

The less questions asked the better.

You’d leave it to Natasha to explain your sudden absence to your friends. Or not. You really couldn't care less at this point.

“I’ve never been more sure of anything, Agent Hill.”

Maria looked like she wanted to say more but decided against it. After all, you two had been friends for years, and working with you as closely she did, she could easily read you like an open book.

Which meant she knew when to call you out and when to drop the conversation.

“Pack a bag then," She nods. We leave tonight.”

-

“They’re back.”

Clint looks across the room to where you were standing with Wanda and Maria, watching you smile as you caught up with the younger girl.

You and Maria had just arrived back from your recon mission which had taken longer than expected, with what was supposed to be a six month mission became twice as long (not that you were complaining, it gave you more time to heal and recover from your heartbreak) because of an issue with the intel.

“I heard that they got back this morning.” He tells Natasha, pausing to look at her. “How’re you feeling?”

Giving him half-hearted shrug she looks at him, subconsciously moving away from your view. If Clint catches on to what she was doing, he doesn’t call her out on it, instead moving to stand in front of her to block her view of you.

“The last thing I said to Y/N was that I was done talking with them. I didn't expect them to stay, but I didn't expect them to leave without a word.”

The older of the two sighs as he glances back at you briefly.

"Sometimes you tell someone that you're done, that you never want to talk to them ever again, but then the phone rings and there's a part of you that hopes that it's them. It's the most twisted logic of all time."

Clint doesn’t miss the way Natasha keeps looking over his shoulder, right where he knew you were standing, almost as if she was holding herself back from walking over to where you were.

There were so many things she wanted to tell you, but a year of distance and silence was too long, and she didn’t want to risk getting shut down the moment she had a moment alone with you. She didn't want to have to watch you walk away again.

“You should talk to Y/N.”

Clint gives her a reassuring smile, squeezing her shoulder before excusing himself to head down to the training room, leaving her alone with her thoughts.

-

“I don’t understand why you and Clint want me to talk to Y/N so badly, Wanda.”

The witch throws her head back in slight frustration before meeting the redhead’s eyes once again.

“You’ve been ignoring Y/N ever since they got back, and don’t even try to lie to me about it." Wanda frowned at her friend. "From what you’ve told me in the past, Nat, you want to talk to Y/N. You know you do.”

After finding the normally stoic woman crying in the training room months after your departure, Wanda was the first person Natasha opened up to about her feelings, just like you had.

Since Wanda was close to you as well, she'd heard the story from both sides and acted as the mediator between you two.

Seeing as the older girl was still apprehensive, Wanda took it upon herself to speak up again.

The younger girl speaks to her in a motherly tone, looking at her friend with sympathetic smile. ”Sometimes all you need is 20 seconds, Nat. 20 seconds of insane courage to tell Y/N/N what’s been on your mind for the past year."

"Wanda, they probably don't want to talk to me."

Shaking her head, Wanda puts her hands comfortingly on Nat’s shoulders.

"Not talking to each other is what caused this in the first place. You don't know that they don't want to talk to you." She reasons. "And you also don’t want to regret not saying anything at all either, we don’t know the next time they’ll be back.”

Giving her friend’s shoulders a gentle squeeze, she waits until their eyes meet once more to speak again.

"Just-, think about it, okay? I heard that they’re getting ready to leave again soon.”

-

“I’ll leave you two to talk.”

The air is tense after Maria exits the room, telling you that she’ll be back to get you when it’s time to leave and Natasha watches your gaze turn to the ground for a moment before clearing your throat.

“So, if there's nothing here to talk about, I still need to pa-"

“Wait, Y/N.” She interrupts before you could finish, knowing that once you found a reason to leave, there was no way she would get another moment alone with you.

You sigh as you look at her, and Natasha can see just how uneasy you are being in the same room as her after such a long time. After all, last time didn't end too well.

It wasn’t like you were trying to avoid her (though the same couldn’t be said about her actively trying to avoid you like the plague ever since she saw that you and Maria were back), but she knew why you didn’t go out of your way to come talk to her.

"The first time you proposed-"

“Nat, do-"

"Just let me say this," She pleads. "Please."

She’s had a lot of time to think in the past year, had a lot of time figure out what she wanted and what she really needed. No matter where she started or what she thought about, everything always led back to you.

You tried so hard to hold onto the threads that was holding your relationship together while she was all but ready to throw in the towel the moment it got too much.

Natasha's never regretted anything so much in her life before.  

"The first time you proposed," She starts again. "I said no because I thought I wasn't ready and that I didn’t want to get married. And I spent a really long time regretting saying no to you."

Judging by the look on your face while she was talking, she could tell that you would rather not relive the memories of her rejecting your proposal.

“But then everyone around us was getting married; Tony and Pepper, Wanda and Vision. I could see how much you wanted what they had, even though you always told them that you were happy with the way we were.

"They all seemed to happy, it made me think that maybe getting married wasn’t the worst thing in the world, even if I kept saying that I wasn't ready, that it wasn't in the cards for me. And even though I was being so adamant about my choice, I kept hoping, kept wondering if you would ever ask me to marry you again.”

She gages your reaction to her words, seeing that familiar furrow in your brow that she always used to kiss away whenever you were feeling frustrated or confused.

"But it never came."

She knew that it wasn't fair put all the blame on you, she was just as equally guilty - she knew she pulled back and distanced herself from you after you proposed to her. It was never in her intention to cause a strain between the two of you but that’s exactly what ended up happening.

"I wasn't going to push you into something you didn’t want, Nat.”

You’d been quiet ever since Nat started her spiel, so hearing your voice break the silence startled her. You spoke to her in a soft tone - you were never one to raise your voice, only this time you sounded too tired and defeated, like you’d been hurt for so long that nothing really affected you anymore.

“Y/N-“  

“I should’ve known that you didn’t want to get married. It was stupid of me to just assume that you would say yes. I guess I just didn’t enough pay attention to realise that marriage wasn't in the cards for you, and I should have. So, I didn’t ask you again after that.”

It wasn’t stupid, Y/N. You’re not stupid for wanting things too.

She could only stare at you, letting you say your piece and unknowingly giving you the power to make or break her with what you had to say next.

“I asked you and you said no, all of a sudden our friends were getting married too. I wanted that, but I would never force you to marry me just because I wanted it. Whatever you were willing to give, I would've gladly accepted. But then one thing led to another, and the next thing I knew we weren’t talking to each other anymore. Whenever we did, we were always arguing. It got to the point where we were just going in circles.”

You were still talking in that soft tone, the timbre of your voice would have been calming to Natasha had it not been for the words coming out of your mouth. It seemed to her that the more you talked, the more exhausted you looked, like discussing this with her was draining you of your energy.

"You told me you were done talking to me. The only thing I’ve ever wanted was to make you happy, Nat, and if me leaving made you breathe a little easier and relax a little more, then I made the right choice. I didn’t want to make things any harder for you, for us, or for anyone.”

It’s breaking her heart all over again to hear you say those words, as if you thought that you didn’t mean everything to her. You’ve always been too good for her, and she was lucky enough that you shared six years of your life with her.

She could’ve spent more if she just didn’t fuck everything up.

Tears stung her eyes at the thought of not having you in her life, in her future, unwilling to even entertain the thought of seeing you with someone else.

“I was so focused on myself that I didn’t even think about what you were feeling, how this affected you. You were hurting too, yet you were trying to make things work, and I didn’t even bother to talk to you. I told you that I was done, Y/N, but the last thing I wanted was for you to leave.”

She paused as you ran your fingers through your hair before rubbing your eyes, taking the chance to gather her thoughts.

“I let the best thing that ever happened to me go.”

She didn’t even know if you still felt the same like she did for you, but if what Wanda had told her meant anything, she knew she had to try.

“What are you trying to say, Nat?”

“Please give me another chance.”