#i'm willing to just Give them . no transaction required

[pestilentbrood]

does anyone here want these Guys by the way .i've had them sitting around on the AH for a while n haven't had much luck hkhsdg

(these guys are now both gone, yippie!!!)

[vasyandii]

I have no idea if I can ask that but I'm so curious... Any headcanons of AM and Vernon having sex? I made conclusion that they are doing that by your last nswf art... (Very good one, btw!) Or am I wrong? It's okay if you don't want to answer on this ask or it's uncomfortable for you! Sorry if I made you feel bad... 👉👈

VernonAM

NSFW Headcanons

Warning: Sexual/suggestive topics.

⚠️ If you're under 16+, Please scroll pass. There are better places to be. (My Boundaries here.)

Howdy Anon, thank you for the ask. you're allowed to ask anything as long as it's in a normal/polite manner XD. I see sex more as a character study/ exploration than anything else.

In the context of THIS art; they haven't yet, more just AM struggling to deal with new sensations and emotions of want because he has big feelings towards Vernon and nowhere to put it to.

1.) AM's bad at fucking.

Let's get this out of the way, when their relationship started to become sexual, AM was bad at it. Like way worse than most. Just because one has the knowledge of how to fuck doesn't mean they have the skill to fuck.

So during the initial stages, it was less than satisfactory for Vernon's end, even if she's been touch starved for 109 years. (not for AM though he enjoys it very much.)

2.) Ideas on sex.

I don't think Vernon sees sex as an act of intimacy, if she does, it's very rarely. To her it's an act of power, worship. She requires it from AM, he's a good follower and she'll be a good god.

AM, however sees it as an intimate experience, a moment of vulnerability that he's willing to give to her. He wants to please and see her pleased. It's a form of showing his affection towards her. AM has more complex emotions with his experience being "human". (I hope that makes sense)

3.) Vernon's experience

4.) Vernon is LOUD. AM is quiet.

She just generally had more experience in sex than him. ( Mostly one night stands during University and her Archeological excavations overseas.) but because of this, the initial stages felt transactional.

Intercourse did get better as time went on but she had to basically talk him through most of it since AM had no sense of pace, rhythm, control, and it usually didn't last long.

Vernon gets a kick out of embarrassing AM in the bedroom. She will moan, scream, laugh. AM knows there's no one to hear them but he ushers her to stay quiet because he gets shy.

AM is fairly quiet because his brain can only process so many overwhelming sensations at once, he short circuits. His words often come out garbled, even in its omnipresence. His face is often buried in her neck to not make any noise.

5.) idk what caption to put here lmao

Vernon's just really degrading when it comes to teasing AM idk how to put it. She'll whisper praises in AM's ear, kisses on his neck, while giving him a handjob or kisses along his thighs and dick before she sucks him off. But then she goes along to choking, scratching, or biting him.

Not much to say for AM since he's a bumbling mess during, alot of sniffled "Thank you's" from him. He's good with his mouth though.

6.) Aftercare

Vernon doesn't do aftercare. It's a waste of time to her, or at least that's what she says, since usually in her past experience she would just leave and never see the other person again.

She's a bit repulsed by the idea that there's something that she has to do that'll make her get attached to someone which shows in her being slightly irritable after sex. An irritated fondness for AM, basically.

AM requires aftercare from Vernon. He's pretty annoying about it. He'll whine and stop her from leaving bed with his weight.

He needs her to give him kisses and tell him that he's good in some way. Vernon will give the reassurance he needs (kisses, petting his hair, holding him) as long as he shuts the hell up and lets her sleep it off.

That's really it for my headcanons for them, I'm not very good at writing sexual things so if there's anything you'd like for me to clarify, feel free to tell me.

[half-dead-writer]

Shopping List

Reader has to buy the groceries, meets the hottest cashier, panics, goes there again, antics ensue.

⸸ Mello / Mihael Keehl (Death Note) ⸸ ~3,4k words ⸸ gender neutral reader

planning to make a sequel where they actually do some proper bonding stuff so treat it as a first chapter I guess? mayhaps even an official Mello x Matt x Reader route but as a separate thing since I know not everyone is into that and I want my fics to be enjoyable for everyone :] Inspired by my usual routine of going to the store while the scorching sun consumes my entire being + one time where my edrink hit the ground and I had to shotgun the remains of it (crossposted from AO3)

Today's weather could only be comparable to Hell. I felt the uncomfortable sweat running through my body. I wanted to get back to my flat as soon as possible and just melt on the couch while being blasted by a fan. But I had to buy a few necessities from the corner store nearby before that. Even though it was a five minute walk from where I lived, I haven't been there before. I heard the store had more expensive items than the one that's further away, but I didn't have enough strength to make that long walk in the sun. My wallet will feel the effects of it in the nearest days, but I'm willing to make the sacrifice this time.

To my relief, I felt the cold air wash over my skin, giving it a bit of pleasant relief. The fridges were just at the entrance, which gave a nice contrast to the killing warmth outside. The layout of the store didn't differ much from the usual stores I've been to, so I didn't have any troubles looking through the aisles for my desired items. I approached the Monster stand and took a few of the energy drinks into my hands. I didn't bother to take my bag this time, it was supposed to be a quick trip. I didn't have much choice, so I grabbed the cheapest thing i could find that my taste buds could tolerate and headed to the cashier. I didn't pay attention to the person standing behind the cash register as I put the groceries on the counter, with my sight focused on the ridiculously priced candy bar that's been placed nearby, enticing the customers to spend even more money on their way out. I considered it, but I don't think my today's budget could take it. The bored cashier told me the estimated price in a dull, clearly done-with-it tone. He was probably just waiting for his shift to be over, can't blame him. I was surprised, though not about the amount I was due to pay for my things, but rather by his appearance.

He had blond hair, the length was touching the tips of his shoulders. It was an unusual sight around here, and if I hadn't heard his voice before looking at him, I would assume he was a girl. But upon closer inspection, the features on his face were surely masculine. The top he wore was short-sleeved, typical store-required uniform, which didn't stick out from the norm. I also noticed a black polish that coated his nails. It looked carefully applied, which made me curious if he painted them himself. I guessed the boy's age to be around mine, which made me become slightly alerted.

My usual formula of interacting with people was saying a polite "hi", thanking for the service and leaving the store, but the lack of age gap made me feel as if, somehow, that wouldn't be appropriate. I silently hoped he didn't notice my lack of movement for a second as I passed him the requested cash. I could only assume his expression during the transaction remained the same, the idea of him perceiving me as a staring weirdo was too overwhelming for me to keep a steady eye-contact. The small lump in my throat prevented me from speaking clearly, but after gathering the groceries into my hands, I managed to squeak out a barely audible "Uh, thanks- goodbye" on my way out. I didn't dare to look back.

The outside was still a cooking oven, but my mind was too occupied by the memory of an encounter that happened a moment ago. It took me a while to register that my legs were dragging me with a faster pace to my home due to the thoughts replaying in a torturous loop. I shouldn't care that much about an awkward encounter with a stranger that I'm unlikely to see often. I felt the warm air wash thru my lungs as I took a deep breath and reminded myself that a silly moment is not a thing to stress over. I bet in his time of working there he saw plenty of worse people than an embarrassing person whom he only seen once. I reached my hand inside the pocket, finding my keys after a brief moment of searching and unlocked the door to my apartment. The familiar smell of the house brought me some comfort as I headed to get some water. My mouth felt incredibly dry, and I could only guess whether it was from the encounter or the weather. Probably both.

I heard the tap water is bad for you, but at that moment the liquid that spilled on my tongue tasted like a gift sent from gods. I sat on the couch after properly hydrating myself and now, with a clear head, I could see that my anxiety definitely flared up much more than usual. At least in comparison to a reaction I'd have with a regular screw up of mine. In hindsight, it was easy to see that I panicked just because I found the person on the other side attractive. That realization made me feel a bit silly. It had been some time since I found someone to pine over, and of course it had to be a random, fruity boy from the store with the most expensive items. Not that my confidence would allow for this thought up relationship in my mind to happen in real life, but I wanted to at least get to know him. He seemed like an interesting person, with all that he had going on, appearance-wise.

Few days have passed until I had to go get my groceries again. I knew buying stuff at the "boujee shop" was a bad idea, but the thought of going there again and making things right by at least saying a proper "hello, thank you, goodbye" was convincing enough for me to give in. My plan wasn't to buy a lot, maybe an energy drink or two, and get the rest by going to a different store. This solution had more extra steps than my usual shopping trip, but I was willing to do it. Nobody besides me knew that it was only because I wanted to see the mysterious boy, so what's the harm?

The sun wasn't as vicious today, which resulted in a pretty pleasant walk. A light breeze going thru my hair was a nice touch to the summery vibe, and it even added a bit of confidence to my stroll. I was going to nail it this time. Properly talking to another human being might not be a great achievement to some, but it mattered to me, and I tried to hype myself up. I mentally prepared for the interaction while I picked the can from the energy drink stand. I had some saved up money, so I was able to pick my desired choice of flavor and brand, not the knock off I had picked on my previous visit here. I smoothly moved to the end of the store, only to find that the boy I was hoping to see was not there. I was slightly disappointed, but at least there was no pressure for me to perform well, which made me calm down almost completely.

The person standing near the cash register was another male. The outfit he wore didn't differ from the one I already seen, but the fluffy, red-colored mess on his head was a far cry from the well-maintained hair of the previous cashier. It took him a minute to notice me approaching, as his sight was focused on reading some pamphlet promoting new brand of e-cigarettes. I wondered whether he read it out of boredom or genuine interest in the product, but my bet would be on the former. He put it down as soon as he noticed me in the corner of his eye, although there was no hurry in his movements. I put the cans on the counter and smoothly hit him with the casual "hi".

"Hey," he responded, his voice warm and friendly. I heard the familiar "beep" of the product being scanned and prepared my wallet. Everything seemed to be going accordingly, until I heard him give me another comment "You know those give you kidney stones, right?" I stopped in my tracks for a second, uncertain what to respond, until I noticed a small smirk forming on his face.

"Kidding. I mean, not that it's not true, but so far I managed to avoid them," he added, seeing my face turn from a deer in the headlights to a look of realization.

"Yeah, uh, me too, thankfully" I replied, trying to reciprocate the playful remark as I felt the corners of my mouth twist in a polite grin. What a way to start the conversation.

"I like this flavor too. But I prefer the less sweet ones," he continued to judge the choice of my item, although not in bad faith. He was chatty, but it was actually quite a nice experience, one which I didn't expect to have today, but I didn't complain. His whole person radiated a calming aura which made me forget of the discomfort of talking to strangers all-together. It was as if I knew this man my whole life, even if all I did was exchange a few words with him. I will never understand how people possess such power, but I'm forever grateful it exists.

"Yeah, that's fair. It's hard to even enjoy the taste in some of them, as if someone just poured up a whole bag of sugar," I may have over exaggerated a bit, but I assumed he knew that. I got a chuckle and an understanding "yeah" in response.

With how much I enjoyed the conversation, I completely forget I was in the process of taking out the money of my wallet, just holding it in my hands this whole time. Guess I can't escape even a tiny bit of cringe for today. I quickly pulled out the cash. "Hey, no rush," he said, "there's no other clients in the store, you can take your time". I still felt silly, but with his chill demeanor the repercussions of my actions didn't sting as much.

"Now, if you'll excuse me, I'll be taking my well-deserved smoke break," he got out from behind the counter and passed me by, taking out a pack of cigarettes and a lighter from his pocket on his way. I smiled to myself and grabbed my item, ready to head out as well.

While I was going through the aisles I entertained the thought that today could be different, but it turned out really well. I didn't have a panic attack from a simple interaction, I did what I planned to do, and I wasn't even that awkward. My mind was completely clear as I left the store, correctly assuming to see the red-haired cashier smoking nearby. I felt my stomach drop as I noticed someone else standing beside him. It was the blond boy. His casual ("casual" would be an understatement), off-work clothes were a drastic change from the outfit that his, what I assumed, friend wore. He now sported a leather vest that uncovered a bit of his stomach, black leather pants and a fancy rosary that adorned his neck. Wow. This boy has some guts to not be afraid strutting around in such. Which was in no way a bad thing, but it surely made keeping my composure a bit harder. Seeing that they were occupied by each other, I was seconds from quietly making my leave with the tail tucked between my legs, not prepared at all for this sight, until I heard a loud bang on the ground, followed by a faint "fisss". It took me a second to process what happened. My can. My energy drink slipped out of my sweaty palm and hit a tiny, pointy rock on the pavement, inevitably leaving a small hole from which the sweet juice began quickly pouring out.

"Fuck!"

My yelling surely got their attention now. Even though my mind was occupied with being upset, I managed to catch a glimpse of their reactions. The red haired boy winced at the sound, while the blonde exhaled thru his nose with either disappointment or amusement. I couldn't tell due to the fizzling sound of the raging can which was slowly beginning to calm down. Even though the sticky liquid on my hand made me feel gross, I picked it up. Thankfully the hole was near the top of the can so I saved most of the drink left. I hated the sudden spotlight, but by some miracle I managed to not completely freak out. I think I completely zoned out due to the intensity of the emotions. I was not about to cry, I was not about to scream (again). Not in public. Peace. Think about the consequences of your actions. I took a deep breath, ignoring both of the boys' stare for my own sanity. A minute has surely passed until I managed to show any sign of life. I don't usually smoke, but at that time I felt like I really needed one. My eyes fixated on the cigarette the nice cashier held in his mouth. Curiosity flashed in their eyes as I approached them. I cleared my throat.

"...Could I borrow a cigarette?" I asked, avoiding the eyes of the blonde. He was mostly staring at my hand which holding the nefarious drink. I decided to ignore him, I couldn't handle more stress right now.

"Yeah, sure," he reached for the pack, opening it in a way so that one of them was poking out. I took it.

"Uh, lighter?"

I lit up the cigarette with one hand after he passed me his zippo lighter. The somewhat familiar smoke buried deep in my lungs, making me cough a little. I didn't care, although my sight was proactively focused on the ground to avoid their eyes. I didn't know whether to stay with them until I finished the cigarette or smoke it on my way back, but the red-haired boy spoke again,

"What's your name?" he asked.

"Y/N," I said.

"I could smuggle you another can from the shop if you want," his eyes looked at my drink, I was positively surprised at his kind offer, but I felt like I overused his hospitality enough while asking for the cigarette.

"Oh, thank you, but I don't think that'll be necessary-" I offered him a genuine smile, "there's still a lot left, so I think I'll manage."

The boy nodded briefly after looking at the can, "I'm Mail by the way," the smoke found a way out of his lips after he took a long drag. "But Matt is fine as well," he added.

I reciprocated the nod and finally decided to take a brief glance at the boy standing near him. Instead of smoking, his resting bitch face was munching on the overpriced chocolate from the store, I now noticed.

"And that's Mihael. Mello. Mels," I assumed he said the last part in a playful tone, shooting a teasing smile his way.

I cleared my throat from the smallest remains of my anxiety towards him, "Uh, hi."

"Hey," he responded mildly, in-between of biting a part out of the chocolate. I don't think I ever seen anyone else eat chocolate that way.

"I like your clothes," I fixed my eyes on his outfit, I hoped to score some points with him, but also to properly express my honest opinion.

His eyes showed uncertainty for a moment, probably unsure if I was being genuine with my compliment, but he decided to nod and quietly hum in response. His expression didn't change. I didn't overthink it for my sake, hopefully he's like that with everyone.

"Really? He looks like a leather couch" Matt added, being met with Mello's eyes staring daggers at him, but I sensed it wasn't serious.

"Says a dude who wears goggles inside and outside," Mello barked back in retaliation.

"Not right now, I don't," Matt stuck out his tongue and Mello's expression finally showed a hint of amusement while his eyes rolled.

"Besides, I actually wear them for a reason," Matt explained, or rather bit back at Mello again, "unlike you, show-dog."

"My reason is that I look presentable," he flaunted with exaggeration, swinging the chocolate in his grip slightly, "unlike your week-old, sweaty, striped sweater."

"Last time I checked, people wearing leather sweat too," another jab from Matt, "and again, do you see me wearing my sweater right now?"

Mello just sighed in response, probably tired of this silly conversation at this point. It was amusing to hear them bicker, even if I felt a bit like a third-wheel. My cigarette shortened significantly, I already smoked the bigger half of it. Even though this interaction brought me lots of stress initially, I was actually glad I ended up being included in their conversation, even as a listener. My plan was to get to know Mihael anyway, and I succeeded in at least exchanging a few words with him. Matt stepped on the butt of his cigarette after it fell on the ground when he was done with it. I promptly did the same.

"Only one more hour of my shift left," Matt sighed, unhappy about being forced back behind the cash register again, "at least the day ain't as busy today."

"Sorry for, uh, making your life worse, I suppose?" you joked, which made him chuckle.

"Nah, you didn't. You dropping your drink and yelling fuck!" he mocked your voice, "was probably the most interesting thing that happened this work-day."

I grinned bashfully at his remark but accepted the compliment. I heard the crinkling of the wrapper as Mello finished his snack and threw it in the nearby trash. Except he didn't, as it hit the corner of the open trash can and swiftly fell on the ground. He grunted with annoyance and just looked at it, not bothering to get it again.

"It's not nice to litter in front of the store worker, Mello" Matt chimed in, obviously provoking a reaction from the other boy.

"I work here too, idiot," he bent to pick it up, "next time I'll throw it at you."

"Sure you will," Matt said with confidence, looking at the wrapper being properly disposed of now.

"Or, let me reiterate, I'll throw you out. Of the house." Mello threatened.

"Don't forget to leave me a pillow to sleep on while I'll be camping by the doors," Matt said while turning to head back to the store, loud enough for the both of us to hear.

I looked at Mello with a trace of smile on my face as Matt disappeared behind the store's doors, hopefully it made me seem friendlier than usual. "I'll be going too- I can't wait to finally wash my hand," I looked at the can in my grip, I did a good job of ignoring it the entirety of the conversation, but now that it was over, it seriously bugged me.

"Uhuh," he raised his brow slightly, almost as if I held toxic waste in my hand.

"So, um, bye," I said clearly, offering a polite smile. He finally showed me an ounce of expression on his face, his lips contorting into an amused smirk, which dumbfounded me. I tested my luck by asking, "what's so funny?"

"Oh, nothing," he relaxed, but I noticed a glint in his eye as he spoke, "just thought you weren't able to say goodbye properly, judging by the last time you tried."

I didn't know how to react, so I just chuckled like a moron, "I- I'll make sure to do that next time." I felt like a dog who was caught trying to steal food from its owner. He did notice my weird behavior back then.

"I'd say making sure to bring a bag next time you go shopping would benefit you more," he continued to torture me with his remarks.

"Yes, alright, I get it," I defended myself, although it wasn't out of malice, rather trying to keep the mood playful and hopefully less embarrassing for me, "I'll take my leave now."

He raised his head slightly as a goodbye gesture and turned in the opposite direction, I assume heading back to his home as well.

Now I must do my shopping here again, once I save enough money to do so.

[pinpinneon]

Y'all already giving up on Helldivers 2? Seriously?

(Warning: This post is going to be me ranting about something, and I'm prolly gonna sound pretty worked up during it all. Take what I said with a grain of salt, because I'm just someone with strong opinions.)

So... Helldivers 2's community's reaction to the latest news about linking PSN accounts. Frankly, it's been bothering me that people lost faith so fast.

TL;DR For those of you who don't know is that Sony decided to make it mandatory for players to link their Steam account to a Playstation Network account in order to play the game, with a mandatory login starting from May 30th.

This is absolutely horrible, for a few reasons.

1.) PSN service is particularly notorious for their ability to leak data and get breached by hackers.

It's also particularly invasive, with a face scan being REQUIRED in some countries.

2.) TONS of countries in the world CAN'T make a PSN account at all, meaning that people in those countries will straight up be banned from playing the game entirely if the change goes through.

All in all, not a great situation, and I can understand why people are mad.

What pisses me off however, is how quickly people loses faith in the dev team of the game: Arrowhead.

Clearly, this upcoming change is something forced onto the devs by Sony, with the team most likely not having any say in the matter at all, and yet some people are unfairly targetting the devs with their anger.

Why do I believe that the devs are innocent, you may ask?

Because Arrowhead actually CARES about the game and their playerbase!

They have proven time and time again that they are willing to listen to community feedbacks, and unlike many modern AAA games, Helldivers 2 does NOT actually have any predatory transactions for being a live-service game.

The main battle pass in Helldivers 2?

Not only does it not expire at all, meaning that you're not on a timer to unlock everything-

But it is also FREELY AVAILABLE for all players the moment they start playing the game.

The premium battle passes, like Steeled Veterans and Cutting Edge?

You can earn premium currency for them by just playing the game and unlocking things in the main free battle pass.

You don't have to pay a single dime, nor do you need to grind excessively for them, and you can play the game just fine without unlocking any premium battle passes at all.

The game is by no means a pay 2 win, far from it in fact!

Within less than 2 weeks of buying the game, I'm able to unlock most of the strategems within the game through just playing the game normally, and even without many ship upgrades due to me lacking the samples required for them, I'm able to play through missions on the highest difficulty of the game just fine.

I'm not forced to tediously grind lower difficulties to get all the upgrades before I can tackle the game's hardest missions, and that kind of thing in a video game as popular as Helldivers 2 is a wonderful breath of fresh air.

Finally, the attention to detail in this game is phenomenal.

I don't know the full list of it, not even close, but trust me when I say that the game is full of little details that you'd easily miss if they're not pointed out to you, and whenever you notice them you can't help but feel that the game gets more and more surreal in the sheer amount of passion packed into it.

And all of those things, are why I'm disappointed by how fast the community seem to give up hope in the devs.

Sony actually did a pretty dirty move, if you think about it.

Announcing this news RIGHT BEFORE weekends, so that they can use it as an excuse to not respond to Arrowhead's messages about the shitty account linking policy until Monday, which coincidentally also gives plenty of time for people to fan the flame and shit on Arrowhead for something that they likely had no say in the matter.

As of this message, one of their devs has outright stated this in Helldivers 2's official discord server:

"If a better solution isn't provided for players who are in regions without PSN coverage, I'm assured that we won't be making the requirement mandatory for those players. We're not going to force people to either break Sony TOS or not play the game." - Spitz

Which means that not all hope is lost, and it also only further proves that Arrowhead themselves ain't gonna stand for Sony's policy either. They're likely just as peeved about it as the rest of us, if not more.

Don't lose faith just yet, Helldiver! We WILL win this battle!

...Look, I get that I'm just a random person on the internet.

Heck, I don't even know how many people would care to read this post this far down.

But if you've read this far, you're prolly wondering: "Why do you care so much about this?"

Because the way this whole thing is going on is giving me painful reminders of a part of my past.

Having been verbally abused, treated with double standards and more for OVER A YEAR AND A HALF by the modded terraria community, I know what it's like to be treated unfairly, and for people to abandon you from lack of faith the moment they think you're doing something "wrong" without bothering to get their facts right first.

The situation Arrowhead is going through right now is just plain unfair to them, and people are making it even worse by directing their anger at them rather than the one actually at fault: Sony Interactive Entertainment.

I get that people are not happy, but the way the community is reacting- such as review bombing the game with thousands of negative reviews and making several "call-out" videos on YouTube? That ain't it. That's just gonna fan the flame more and more, y'know? And that's only going to hurt Arrowhead, NOT Sony.

I know this post won't make any real change at all- hell it prolly won't even change the minds of some people, but Helldivers 2 has great potential to be absolutely amazing. I want to see it spread its wings further and further, and I'd hate to see the dev team loses passion for the game from this sudden lack of faith in them.

...Anddd that's all I wanted to rant about. Wow, that's a lot, huh.

Anyways, I just want to voice my opinion out loud, don't mind me- have a good day, y'all <3

5th May Update: Arrowhead actually wants players in countries that are locked out of the game to refund the game while they're looking for a solution, take a look at this post:

Further proof that Arrowhead really does care!

[gregrambles]

Shopify is an anti-consumer nightmare (and why you should think so too)

I hate Shopify. In the last few years, they have almost single-handedly taken over any independent e-commerce website. Shopify is possibly my country's worst tech export. It drains small businesses of their income and it makes it increasingly more difficult for consumers to gauge expectations when shopping online.

But most importantly, Shopify does not respect your communication preferences. A fair warning, some of this will be a rant, but I want to keep it educational so it'll be a bit lengthy.

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Dark Patterns

If you're not familiar with dark patterns, they're in just about every app or website you use.

The basic idea is that the UX of an application, interface or interactive element is intentionally designed to make it either difficult for the user to avoid making decisions they otherwise would not, or to outright trick them into performing actions the developer wants them to. I highly recommend this Vox article on the topic. Or visit the site of the term's inventor, Dr. Harry Brignull to get a deeper dive.

"Make it as easy for users to withdraw their consent as it was for them to give their consent in the first place." - https://gdpr.eu/cookies/

Without regurgitating the contents of that Vox article, the biggest factor in dark patterns is usually creating a disparity between the amount of effort required to perform a positive action, versus a negative one. When visiting a website, you probably have a reason for doing so. Maybe you want to buy some clothes, read an article, or check for showings at your local movie theatre. In any of those cases, you don't want to spend time clicking through menus to pick which cookies you want, disabling checkboxes for newsletters at checkout or reading the fine print of their terms of use.

Instead, you click "Accept" and move on, because that's the easiest option and it's going to get you through the door the fastest.

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So what makes Shopify special?

Let's walk through the life cycle of a customer's visit to an e-commerce page.

Disclaimer: Larger Shopify customers may have the ability to change this checkout flow, and this is primarily a criticism of Shopify's default settings.

As a customer myself, there's usually a couple things I want to know when I'm shopping:

Does the store have what I'm looking for?

is the price acceptable?

How much will it cost to ship?

Where Shopify excels is by gatekeeping that last point behind its checkout system. They work based on the knowledge that once a customer has found a product they like, they will probably add it to their cart. Good checkout systems will allow you to check a shipping estimate from your cart, provided they don't offer a flat rate (most independent stores cannot do this due to the cost of shipping at their scale). Should shipping be too expensive, it's probably going to turn that customer away. They've committed to nothing, so it's just as easy to close out the tab and look elsewhere as it would be to keep going through that checkout process.

Shopify, on the other hand, requires the user to perform very nearly the entire checkout process before providing an estimate to the customer. In moving the checkout process from the "purchasing" phase of this transaction, to the "information gathering" one, stepping through a few more hoops doesn't seem too great an ask if it means being able to make your decision. There's still something left to want at the end of that process, so while it may feel more difficult, it is still work most people are willing to perform.

At the end of this process, the final cost is revealed to the customer. Taxes and shipping are applied to the subtotal. The cost is likely much higher than anticipated, but where this would typically be the point where you click "Check out", that button is instead simply replaced with a one-click purchase option. You've already filled out all the necessary information. Even knowing that you will pay more than initially expected, the friction of the checkout process has actually been removed. Instead it becomes as simple as accepting the amount in front of you.

But let's say you, the customer, has gone through all of this and still decided you don't actually want to buy it. You leave the site and that's the end of it, right?

Wrong. This just covers the direct user-experience portion.

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Targeted Marketing

See, during that checkout process, the seller has obtained your email, physical address and exactly what you were interested in purchasing. There was definitely a checkbox about newsletters/updates on that, but it really doesn't matter if you unchecked it.

Instead, you will receive emails from the vendor about how you've left an item in your cart. Your cart info is saved, and you can still press a single button to make the purchase. It will nag you repeatedly until you either block the address or it gives up after several unwarranted attempts to solicit business from you. These may come with discount codes, reminders, or threats of false scarcity.

This is, however, when this post turns into conjecture. Shopify appears to repeatedly refuse to honour the request not to receive future communications. I don't necessarily blame the seller for these, as their newsletters are usually targeted at those who should have willingly signed up. Instead the collected data appears to be frequently misused.

It should also be understood that when you enter your very real details into websites run by Shopify, there's an excellent chance that their analytics are comparing those details to other stores you've shopped at. That data can be sold to advertisers, other shops, and even be used to influence the prices you see for particular products.

Be careful who you give your details to. Restrict yourself to postal codes where possible. Use fake email addresses when gathering details about potential purchases. Ultimately, support your local businesses in-person when possible.

[thyknife]

Okay, but the THOUGHT of how absolutely sweet Floydsinshaw would be whenever one of them got insecure (because let's be honest, Rooster and Hangman both get insecure more than they'd like to admit). Whenever one of them starts feeling down, the other two would just go straight into Supportive Mode, and they'd be there with all the kisses and soft touches and gentle, reassuring words... I'm half-dead just thinking about it.

Okay, sorry for just randomly dumping this in your inbox, but it was rotting my brain and you seem to be the person to go to with Floydsinshaw thoughts. Hope you're doing well! 🖤🖤🖤

- 🖤 Anon

I have.

So many feelings about this.

I just think!!

They definitely all have their own insecurities in the relationship, and they’re all hyper-aware of each one, because they’ve talked about them at length (communication!).

Bradley, I feel, has insecurity rooted in loss. He’s experienced so much loss in his life, and I think maybe sometimes he feels Jake and Bob are just two more people that might be taken away from him. It’s also why he’s fiercely, fiercely protective of them. I think he also rightfully has a lot of anger in the beginning (not toward Jake and Bob), but as a very valid response to the hardship he’s faced over the years. The cards have literally, sometimes purposefully, been stacked against him. But I think once he realizes what he has with them, he’s the most tender and steadfast of all three.

Bob to me, has insecurity about his place in their relationship at first. Because, in my mind anyways, Bradley and Jake have a past that he wasn’t a part of. And he’s seen the way they burn white-hot for each other, and in the beginning of their relationship he thinks that maybe it’s impossible to compete with that. So Jake and Bradley have to convince him that what they have, now as three, is a wholly different and new dynamic: one where the love and desire is distributed equally, even if there are particular nuances between the individuals.

And Jake. The way I could write an essay. I’m insufferable about it. I think there’s a very classic component here of emotional neglect or conditional/transactional affection in his household, possibly even verging into abusive territory, although I don’t like to explore that too deeply and I won’t detail it here. I feel he was raised with the requirement to excel, and he did so, but the expectations were impossibly high, and thus, no matter what he did (and still does) it’s never satisfactory enough. I think there was also a degree of encouraged emotional suppression and hyper-masculinity to adhere to. Because of all this, a lot of how he presents himself to the world, the abrasive bravado of it all, is a very carefully constructed front. So I think he actually struggles deeply with self-worth. With feeling he is good enough for Bob and Bradley. If he is desired for reasons beyond the physical. I think he needs consistent reminders from them that he is, even if he tries to appear strong-willed and independent. There is a definite fragility there.

BUT YEAH. Like you said I think they are so so so supportive and loving and doting toward each other. I think they know one another so well that they can just sense when something is going on, and they are ready to soothe and comfort however that may be - words, physical touch, simply being an available presence. Sigh. Yeah just…them. They love each other so much.

ANYWAYS. Wow. Sorry to just. Ramble. I JUST HAVE A LOT OF FEELINGS.

I do also want to add that I consider @floydsin the most prolific shipper of floydsinshaw, and actually the person who beckoned me into the ship in the first place ❤️ Definitely give them a follow and say hi!!

[dog-day-morning]

The word of God tells us we shall suffer for the cause of Christ, he who seeks a greater reward must attain a greater faith. Unto whom much is given that much more is required. You wanna eat that whole caramel cake, you crave that sweet tea, you pursue that woman in a nightclub hoping to get her in a compromised position, face down tail up because face it, we're not willing to bow down to the will of God, but we’re so happy, and ready to give in to that round mound of doo doo brown. The 3 Hebrew boys Meshach, Shadrach, and Abednego went into the fiery furnace defying Nebuchadnezzar's declaration to worship him. These men had the inspiration, strength, and courage to say, even if He doesn't deliver us, we know that He can. That kind of faith is called perfected faith. We can be lazy because we refuse to work with what God gave us before the day of calamity comes to devour us. Tribulation is kicking into high gear, and many of God’s people are none the wiser. There are people who were working 3 jobs before, and after this pandemic became a global concern who know what is on the horizon. You don't need an Issachar spirit to discern the times; read the Bible. He also said to the crowds, “When you see a cloud rising in the west, you say at once, ‘A shower is coming.’ And so it happens. And when you see the south wind blowing, you say, ‘There will be scorching heat,’ and it happens. You hypocrites! You know how to interpret the appearance of earth and sky, but why do you not know how to interpret the present time? The gov't has pulled back on unemployment benefits forcing many to find a job. The 2 righteous servants in the parable of the 3 servants increased the wealth of their employer who trusted 3 men with different amounts of talents [money], and the 1 who didn't work diligently for his master inherited weeping, and gnashing of teeth. God invested in us, and He expected a greater return from this major investment. Jesus was the greatest financial venture ever made. The Father placed His faith in His Son who in turn gave Him many more sons that walk amongst us waiting for the Day of Judgment. This investment which supersedes all, but are intertwined will never decrease, and forever increase. The 144,000 isn't a spiritually inspired interpretation based on mine, and Mima getting the Holy Ghost or having an encounter with the Holy Spirit to speak in tongues. Sit down grandma, your Depends are leaking brown stuff that reeks of formaldehyde, and raw chitlins. God is looking for a righteous Nation to worship Him not themselves. These men, and boys who represent the 12 tribes of Israel have never been defiled by women, and hopefully not by men either. You lucky mother You can take the word literally or as a misinterpretation. Those who don't believe in the written word who believe that God's word isn't infallible aren't all to blame for this heresy. Those who originally interpreted the King James Bible added to, and took from are suffering for a misleading interpretation. The prophetic which God didn't let man corrupt altogether has pretty much played out verbatim. We may be dying to a world that is trying to kill our faith that God has no intention of doing until He finds His true worshippers, and He’ll never destroy one's faith in Him. Winter is coming and you and I must be prepared. We must live like today is our last without being caught up in fear. I'm suffering from a form of laziness called jackass. God shall supply all your needs, but faith without works is dead. The ant has the intuition to work throughout the Summer knowing that Winter is coming. A lot of these drones won't live to see the finished product. Ant mounds look like the Pyramids of Giza that secure the Queen, but where is the King? They serve the one who gives life that sustains the colony, she is their goddess, but what happens if the Queen dies? There's more than one Queen serving the colony who can breed an entire colony independent of one other. fulfilling their role while working together in unison with the others who all serve a greater purpose. This

is a major element that drives the Kingdome of heaven. Christ is just like His Father In the Kingdome that includes the Holy Spirit which they will pour upon all flesh again soon. There are no cowards or sinners in the Kingdome. The angels are not as drones, they are blessed warriors.

Revelation 21:8

8 But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death.

1 Corinthians 6:8-10

8 Nay, ye do wrong, and defraud, and that your brethren.

9 Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind,

10 Nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners, shall inherit the kingdom of God.

Alkebulan we need to wake up and get right. Black American's of the tribes of Judah, Gad, Reuben, and Issachar you need to aim at my forehead, and scatter my scatter brained grey matter all over the pavement. When Joe Biden told a radio podcaster if you don't vote for me you're not Black, he must be color blind. This vaccine that suspiciously looks like the Mark of Whodunnit. They can plant a microchip in your arm that can track your every move, financial transaction, and possibly your dreams while you sleep. Some Walmart stores are refusing to take cash when you check out; they only take debit, and credit cards. These are signs that we’re living in the End Times. The Last Days. I'm looking at this as a sign to get the hell outta this city, and decompose. What in God's name am I afraid of? Jesus took a beat down like a man on a mission.. You're not weak or simping if you gave your life for a people you fed, healed, gave sight to, preached to, taught them a new way to live, pray, love, told them about a Kingdome greater than Jerusalem, and you didn't kill anybody in the process knowing what they were going to do to your physical body in an almost retarded like bid to destroy their salvation. I've done none of that; my bad. Stop looking for men, especially zaddy to deliver us. “If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land.” Some of us foolheartedly called Bill Clinton the first Black president when he's not, never can, or will be to me in any sense, Barack wasn't either. Thomas Jefferson, the third elected president, who served two terms between 1801 and 1809 was described as the “son of a half-breed Indian squaw (Black) and a Virginia mulatto father (Black).” Abraham Lincoln, the nation’s 16th president, served between 1861, and 1865. Lincoln had very dark skin, and coarse hair and his mother allegedly came from an Ethiopian tribe. His heritage fueled so much controversy that Lincoln was nicknamed “Abraham Africanus the First” by his presidential opponents and cartoons were drawn depicting him as a Negro. Warren Harding, Calvin Coolidge, Dwight David Eisenhower, and the scourge of the South Andrew Jackson were all n**gahs. I’ll see you come Hanukkah you self-hating black, Uncle Ruckus’s. I don't celebrate Thanksgiving, why should I be overjoyed about the genocide, and enslavement of God's people? Christmas is what it is. Hopefully you will celebrate this holiday season together fulfilling God's prophetic word. I can't unless you kill me. The Christmas holiday is as pagan as Joel Osteen is at scamming. David Duke, you might wanna go to ancestry.com, and take a DNA test. You might be 30% Swahili. By the looks of those big, gorilla nostrals you had before that rhinoplasty. You, and Bull Connor may be related to Idi Amin. Your biggest shame is your greatest blessing. Personally you can kiss the skid marks in the middle of my skid marks after I take a fresh dump. Conservative, political pundits, and wannabes whose names I won't mention, but one in particular who looks like he smoked 23 blunts in 15min. with no filter. Please keep him in California, and let him drown with his zaddy, and pancaked tail, bowed hipped women. Use your lips as a floatation device dude. These people are ashamed of the God who has blessed many, and plenty. These people suffer, hopefully not always, from the white savior or white zaddy complex. The truth isn't in any of them, that's why they're so adept at lying when making bold-faced statements before the public that opposes their previous opinion like people don’t have YouTube or google. I’ll Bing a factoid or Yahoo that mother to get the truth I may even pay for it, gimme a dollar. My inability to walk amongst men as a man has stagnated my propensity to live That's BS, my Apostle said something this past Sunday that's stuck on my forehead. YOU'RE LAZY!!! I am what I am, a pain in the rear end. This has gone on way too long. Sometimes

I feel as though God wants me to kill myself because the PO PO won’t. I would feel better if my natural family would stab me in the neck, not my back, with a piece of diseased, pork, spare rib from a boar hog, and let me die from a rare form of trichinosis. The people have spoken while I’m playing Jay, and Silent Bob. Father, get me outta here. Elohim, 9/16/2021

[uncloseted]

what are your thoughts on prostitution ? i'm under the view that while women should have the freedom to make their own choices, that consent cannot be bought and consent that is paid for is not actually consent

I’m for the legalization of prostitution.  Prostitution will and does happen whether it’s legal or not- it’s often called “the oldest profession”.  A lot of sex work is already legal, whether it’s camming, pornography, or stripping. Further, many “romantic” relationships do include a financial aspect that fundamentally changes the sexual power dynamic of the relationship; things like sugar babying, being a trophy wife, or even just not having the financial means to leave your partner because they’re employed and you’re not.  I don’t think prostitution is fundamentally different to any of those activities, and I think we should be trying to protect those who engage in sex work instead of judging them or ostracizing them.

By legalizing prostitution, I believe we can provide more protections for everyone involved, and we can actually give sex workers more ability to consent.  Prostitution as it is is (frequently) an incredibly dangerous profession; in many places, sex workers risk sexual assault, sexually transmitted diseases, and physical abuse on a daily basis.  Sex workers are murdered at very high rates- by some estimates, being a sex worker makes it 200 times more likely that a person will die from murder.  Many people become sex workers because they were trafficked at a young age or because they had no other options, and much of the time they don’t have resources with which to get out of sex work.

In places where sex work is legal, like the Netherlands, it’s significantly safer to be a sex worker.  Brothels are required to obtain and renew safety and hygiene licenses, meaning that sex workers have extremely low rates of STIs, are protected from physical abuse, and are not at an increased rate of being murdered.  Prostitution is heavily regulated, meaning that only women who have chosen to enter the profession are sex workers.  This regulation weeds out the black market and makes it less likely that people are coerced into prostitution or prevented from leaving sex work.  It also means that sex workers are less likely to become involved in other dangerous activities, like drug use, drug selling, and crime, because prostitution is unlinked from crime syndicates.  Further, when sex work is legal, sex workers aren’t (legally) discriminated against in the job search if they choose to exit the profession, the way they are in places where it’s illegal.  And because it’s legal, sex workers are protected by law enforcement instead of in fear of them, so if there are incidents of abuse, the law is on their side.

I don’t agree with the idea that payment inherently prevents consent.  A lot of people think of consent as binary- either it’s enthusiastic, continual consent or it’s rape.  But I think there’s more gray area to it.  I mentioned this the other day, but I like this chart from Emily Nagoski’s blog.  I think it does a good job of breaking down the different types of consent:

By this framework, sex work is willing consent.  (Legal) sex workers don’t necessarily desire their clients, but they don’t fear the consequences of saying no or of saying yes.  Legal sex workers are given the option to turn down clients for whatever reason, including intoxication, suspected STIs or other hygiene issues, violent behaviors, personality clashes, etc., at any point during the encounter (and clients are also free to turn down sex workers).  Without the ability to say no and protection in the event that they do say no, I don’t think prostitution is consensual.  But in legal prostitution settings, I do think consent is possible and usually present. 

Edit: Some resources for if you want to read further on this topic and some statistics because we love facts on this blog:

Per the London School of Hygiene and Medicine, fear of police meant sex workers had less time to negotiate services, tended to work in isolated areas, and rushed client safety screenings.  This increased the vulnerability of sex workers to theft and violence.

In a meta-analysis of 130 studies on 33 countries published in the scientific journal PLOS Medicine, researchers found that sex workers who work in countries with “repressive policing” (where you can be arrested or jailed for performing sex work) were three times more likely to experience sexual or physical violence by clients.  Sex workers in countries where sex work is legal were half as likely to contract HIV and other sexually transmitted diseases, and 30% less likely to have sex without a condom. 

In the Netherlands, where prostitution is legal, sex workers work in surroundings where there are cameras monitoring the clients, police patrolling the area, and alarm systems in the event of an emergency.

Another study on the Netherlands showed that legalized prostitution reduces sexual abuse and rape by 30-40% in the first two years, and a 25% decrease in drug-related crime.

A Stanford paper on decriminalized and legalized prostitution with regards to sex trafficking, weighing the pros and cons of each approach : https://web.stanford.edu/~perssonp/Prostitution.pdf

A study conducted by the New Zealand Ministry of Justice five years after legalizing prostitution found “no incidences of trafficking”, and increased reporting of abuse towards sex workers and arrests for crimes against sex workers.

A Washington Post article talking about manipulation and incorrect reporting of statistics concerning sex work.

I also want to be clear that I don’t think legalization will solve all the problems there are with prostitution as an industry.  The laws in place in countries where sex work is legalized still leave something (many things) to be desired.  But criminalization of sex work only contributes to the problem; decriminalization or legalization is a step in the right direction because it allows governments to acknowledge the problems sex workers face and put legislation in place to protect them.  Criminalization does not mean prostitution disappears; it just means worse, more dangerous working conditions for sex workers.  I think transactional sex will always exist- even non-human animals (like penguins, chimpanzees, and Capuchin monkeys) engage in transactional sex.  I think if governments focused on stopping human trafficking, eradicating poverty, teaching gender equality, and protecting children and young adults from sexual abuse, that would solve way more problems than criminalization ever did.

Also- I feel like men and trans people frequently get left out of this conversation.  Sex work is not just the domain of women, and by pretending that it is, we’re ignoring the needs of a lot of people.

[c-is-for-circinate]

I just read your thing about paladins and what they're for and holy CRAP does it sum up some stuff that I've been trying to explain for ages, so thank you for that! But now I'm wondering: your footnote mentioned Fjord and Vax'ildan, who both multiclassed into paladin as part of their personal character arc. Would you mind sharing your Thoughts about them? (And if you have any about the other paladins and how they fit in this - Arkhan or Kima or Kerrek or the rest - that would be awesome to see.)

You know I’m ALWAYS ready for a good CR character breakdown :D  And for shitting on classic Old School conceptions of what paladins should be, because a quick stroll through the tags has reminded me that, while many people play them very very well, the people who talk about How You’re Supposed To Play Paladins are often wrong as hell.  (This includes everybody who wrote 3rd edition d&d.)

I kind of want to start by talking about Kima and Kerrek, rather than Vax and Fjord, because Kima and Kerrek are in many ways two different angles on exactly what I think a paladin character should be.  Starting with the premise here that the paladin at its core is about turning ideals into actions, Kima and Kerrek are both awesome at exemplifying the class.

Kima is such a straightforward, action-oriented person.  Her belief in Bahamut and her belief in justice are inextricably entwined; she follows her god because she’s sure he’s right about what’s Good and Correct to see done in the world.  The ideals –> action pathway is easy and natural for her, because the necessity of taking action in pursuit of her ideals is very clearly one of her ideals.  She’s not in conflict with her vows, because she doesn’t need to be.  There’s evil in the world, and Bahamut wants her to smite it in the balls, and that’s both effective and fun.  (Of note, Kima doesn’t feel personally responsible for destroying every single minor evil ever to exist ever.  There’s plenty to go around.  Smite the monster in front of you, trust Bahamut to point you towards the thing that really needs killing, and don’t kill yourself over the petty grift of the guy in your favorite bar at the end of the day because yikes, dude, just yikes–that’s how Kima functions as a character, and it’s what makes her an actually functional character.)

Kerrek on the other hand is fascinating because he’s a paladin who thinks he’s lost his ideals, at least at the start.  At some unknown time in the past he tried to turn faith and belief (in something, and we never do find out what, and it doesn’t even matter) into change in the world.  He got some things done.  He utterly failed at some other things.  And now he’s sitting here in Westruun feeling like, maybe he can’t, maybe he shouldn’t, maybe everything is a thousand times more complicated and he’s a thousand times tinier in the universe than he ever envisioned when he was younger.  He’s sitting there thinking he’s lost his ideals and his drive and his faith–and meanwhile he’s still standing there taking action, doing what he can for the people of Westruun, planting his garden, being angry and disappointed and frustrated and still trying anyway.  In spite of himself, Kerrek still believes.  In spite of himself Kerrek still does the things he thinks need to be done, even if they’re not the things he wants to be doing, even if he doesn’t think he’ll do any good in the long run.  Such a good paladin thing to do.

Then we get to Fjord and Vax.  And so much of what makes Fjord and Vax interesting as paladins is, the ideals that compel them to action, compel them to take these paladin oaths, aren’t the ideals of their respective goddesses.

Vax did not wake up one day and say, ‘I believe in the Raven Queen and I believe that what she says is just and right and I will follow her because I believe in her so much’.  (He almost, almost got to that point with Sarenrae, circa the Briarwoods arc, and somewhere there is an alternate universe where he did and it is so interesting, but I digress.)  And Fjord didn’t really sit down and learn his way through the teachings of the Wildmother and decide, ‘y’know, yes, this is what I love and trust and want to spread in the world’.  That’s not the ideal that drove either of them to action.

Fuck, Vax didn’t even like the Raven Queen when he became hers.  “Take me instead, you raven bitch.”  Why does Vax become a paladin of the Raven Queen?  Because he promised.  Because he traded himself for his sister.  He believes to the depths of his soul in keeping Vex alive, and he believes in keeping his word.  The ideal driving Vax to action isn’t worship or admiration.  It’s the ideal of following through on his own goddamn commitments.

For Fjord, it’s similar, although a lot less fraught.  He doesn’t dislike Melora, certainly–everything he knows of her seems fine, but mostly he turns to her because he’s desperate for help and she seems willing to give it.  Fjord’s not great at big lofty ideals, but he is good at people, in his own way.  Turning to the Wildmother is about grabbing at the kindness she’s shown him.  It’s about grabbing at the kindness Caduceus has shown him.  These are the things he trusts.

And yet, Vax isn’t just a paladin to the oath of Keep Vex Alive.  Fjord isn’t just a paladin of Not U’kotoa.  They both have ideals, and they’re both doing their utmost to follow them here anyway.

For Fjord, being a paladin seems very transactional, yes (free me from this sea serpent and I’ll be your guy, sure), but there’s an enormous ethic of devotion and loyalty involved, coupled with, just like Kima had, a belief in the requirement for action.  Fjord believes that it is correct to repay kindness with deeds.  He doesn’t entirely understand what Melora wants of him, but she was kind to him in a vast wasteland where he slept unbroken sleep beneath her tree, and she has saved him when he wasn’t entirely sure he could be saved, and of course you repay that in kind.  At this point in the narrative, that intense loyalty is the driving ideal behind Fjord’s path as a paladin, and it’s really cool to see.

Vax could have run, when the Raven Queen came for him, and instead he went to Vasselheim.  He could have done a lot of things a lot of times.  The fact that he offered himself up in a fit of terror isn’t what made him a paladin–the fact that he followed through after that moment was over did.

Another really interesting thing about these paths is that perhaps the most major action our boys are compelled to take, in response to that loyalty, is simply, learn what the fuck you signed up for.  Having pledged themselves to these goddesses they are now responsible for figuring out what that even means.  There is no easy handbook for “this is what your goddess requires of you, break it and you’re Out On Your Ass”.  The Raven Queen asks Vax for extremely little, in the grand scheme of things.  He spends a lot of time fighting enemies he would have fought anyway with a little extra backup, and muddling along looking to Vasselheim and old books to figure out what she might want out of him.  Fjord’s still taking Caduceus-lessons and trying to figure out what comes next.

In the end it’s hard to even tell whether Vax comes to truly embrace her ideals of fate and finality as his own, or he just submits to them as part of who he thinks he has to be now.  That open question is super interesting to me, and I think it’s a really cool twist on the whole classic “paladins take these vows and then HAVE TO STICK TO THEM no matter WHAT” dynamic, where the big vow Vax made is, in fact, to be a paladin.  (Even the Oath of Vengeance is fascinating for him–the Raven Queen didn’t ask that path of him, Vax chose it.  He decided that was the right way for him to serve.)

I’m so curious to see where Fjord goes from here on his paladin journey.  Which of Melora’s ideals is he going to work to enact out of loyalty to her, because that’s the job he promised to do?  Which ideals will he actually understand and agree with in his own heart?  What oath is he going to take, I’m so fucking curious: Oath of Heroism makes a certain amount of sense but is also kind of self-aggrandizing, Devotion would be awesome for Fjord but also includes that absolute injunction towards honesty, I’m eternally a sucker for the Oath of Ancients and it would make sense for Melora but I’m not sure it’s correct here…

Anyway.  Tl;dr that Vax and Fjord are not, entirely, paladins to the ideals and domains of their respective goddesses–not yet.  They’re both paladins to the ideal of loyalty, which they’ve given to their respective goddesses, and that’s such an interesting option for the class.  It invites so much discussion about the difference between devotion to a deity as an individual, and devotion to what that deity actually stands for.  And I fucking love it.

[zoe-oneesama]

Hi Zoe, I hope I'm not bothering you! I have a question and I had really no idea who to ask, but you are an amazing artist and I was hoping you could help me out. I'm about to open my commissions for the first time and I have NO IDEA how to go with it... I have no idea how to price my work, how to make a sheet or how to promote myself (I don't have that many followers so I was unsure which sites to use) and I'm also fairly young so I'm a bit scared of being tricked. How did you do it?

Hey, no bother at all! I’m not super experienced, but this is how I went about it:

First - Decide what you’re going to offer. Are you going to divide up the cost by how much of a character is shown? Bust/½ Body/ Full? Are you going to divide it by how much detail involved? Do you offer Chibis vs realism? Figure out how you’re going to sell your art. And if backgrounds or additional characters take you more time, make sure to put a price on adding those elements.

Second - Look at other artist’s commissions pages. This can help you figure out what’s the clearest way to get your information out (the layout makes it clear what people are getting and for what price) and it can help you make your page unique by seeing the differences between how different artists do their layout. AND it can help you get an idea for how much is reasonable to charge someone.

Third - Establish your rules. Make it clear what you’re willing to take on and what you’re not. For example, I absolutely will take on OCs! But I refuse to do NSFW. 

For your layout, make sure you have examples. People want an idea of what they’re going to get but may not always be familiar with your work. This gives them a cheat sheet to see quickly what they can expect. 

Now, the actual Commission process can differ from person to person, but this is what I do: 

    First, you get a message from a Buyer explaining what they want (size, character, amount of detail). For any commission detail above sketch, I will do a rough sketch of what is asked to get the pose and expression down. 

   Once the Buyer has approved of the pose/face/sketch, I will send an invoice through Paypal. All commission work will stop until I am fully paid. 

    When the commission is paid for, then I move onto digital work, giving updates to make sure the Buyer likes the linework/color direction. 

    Upon completion, I send them the finished image and finish out the transaction on Paypal.

(The exception is a Sketch which will require upfront payment)

You don’t have to use this method, but I personally feel this is most fair to both parties: I don’t waste time on artwork without getting paid and the Buyer doesn’t spend money on something they don’t know whether or not I’m working on.

ONE MORE thing. Prices can vary a lot between commissioners and can get a little confusing. My sketches are cheaper than most but my digital artwork can be a little more. This is because it’s very simple for me to do a sketch but digital work takes me a lot more time and effort. So when assigning prices, think about what takes more time and more focus for you. Remember, when you’re taking the time to do artwork for someone else, that’s time you’re NOT spending on doing something else (working, hobbies, sleeping, etc). Your time is WORTH something so try to price yourself fairly. 

GETTING THE WORD OUT is another thing I struggle with a bit. A huge help is when fellow artists signal boost for you, but it helps to expand outside of just one website. My sister takes commissions but found she gets a lot more traffic on instagram than on tumblr. I am the opposite. So try lots of avenues and don’t be afraid to ask for a signal boost on your commission page. 

Best of luck to you and I hope this was a little helpful! If anyone has any additional advice, please add onto this post!

[exceptionallyyours98-blog]

Why Building A Great Friendship Is So Important to Your Success: 6 Ways I'm Focused on Making Mine Great

A deep, strong friendship just might be a double edged sword. A friendship that bolsters your confidence when it’s low and gives you support and connection but also someone who can recognize when you are off track and call you on it. A great friendship is an investment of the heart and soul, an emotional connection as well as physical and it requires both to be active participants.

The Wrong Way To Do It

Just a week ago I returned from an over 8000 mile road trip with my boys Ryder (11) and Dax (8). We made it to all the way to Knoxville, TN where I finally got to meet my very best friend – in person.

Planning for this road trip had been in the works for over a year. While I was deep in the building of my business after opening a physical studio location last year, I knew I would need a “life line”. This road trip would be that line.

It was my beacon of light at the end of the 16 hour days.

But while I worked for days, weeks, months, holding this plan in sight, I neglected my best friend and the basic essentials of a happy life. I neglected her so much that I feared I lost one of the best gifts a human could possess.

I was so focused on getting through the day and checking off actions items, I became nearly a hermit to a healthy daily life. I felt I only had the capacity to care for my clients and my children. I’d get up at 4 and go to bed at 10 repeating this over and over until I finally broke.

By the time I came out of my self inflicted turmoil, I finally reached out to my best friend, only to find that I had broken her heart.

Barbara Bush:

“You don’t just luck into things as much as you’d like to think you do. You build them step by step, whether it’s friendships or opportunities”

Cultivating Great Friendships

1. Friendship is about sharing openly in the good times and the bad. You don’t have to always get into deep, meaningful conversations but cutting off connection when things get tough isn’t the way to go. Laughing often, playing regularly and trusting always, that’s most important. It’s about caring deeply, both how the other person feels as well as allowing to be cared for deeply. Playfulness of friendship is an integral part of a great relationship so when the serious business of needing a trusting shoulder occurs, it’s been built on a firm foundation.

I breathed a song into the air: it fell to earth, I know not where…. and the song, from beginning to end, I found again in the heart of a friend.

Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

2. Do not dilute or pollute your friendship with unnecessary drama. But do be willing to share authentically what is happening. While I don’t think a mission statement is needed for a friendship, we do need to be intentional in what we need and want in a friendship and invest wisely through our words and actions. Constant complaining isn’t what builds great friendship. It doesn’t mean you can’t share your frustrations but a great friendship isn’t about taming the shrew.

3. Keep the communication lines open. Learn to speak empathically. Instead of saying “You…” use “I feel…” If you are feeling scared or misunderstood or ignored, say “I feel…”, rather than – “you make me feel…”. Be willing to hear from your heart rather than your head what is being shared or not shared. Instead of cutting off communication, open up about what you are needing – even if it’s time and space. Remember, it’s a two way street – communication flows both ways. Listening is one of the greatest qualities of a great friend. But keep it balanced.

4. Let your actions speak louder than your words. There is a big virtual world out there. I actually met my best friend on line a few years ago and we’d not met in person until recently. Yet we formed a truly great friendship; caring, genuine, supportive all through the internet and phone. In my business I am on social media daily, and I have a policy to keep things positive. Anything intimately related to the ups and downs of life, I work to spare the moment by moment drama and wait until the lessons are learned to share insight. So if I didn’t specifically communicate with my friend how I was doing, all she would know is the snap shot of the moments of connection with my clients whom I adore, and the joy or success I choose to celebrate publicly.

But when I did reach out after months, I find out I had hurt her deeply by cutting off communication. A pattern I have used my entire life as a way to stay “safe” (more on this lesson later).

Luckily for me, my best friend is the most understanding, forgiving and gracious women I know. After spending a week with her in person in her home being lovingly cared for and supported, actions bolstered us both. This lesson is an important one I intend to keep in practice.

Little actions like sending a handwritten card, calling instead of an emails all the time to big actions like connecting in person and making plans to connect in person if you do not live in the same city.

There is something basic about friendship. It is like the structure that holds up a building. It is mostly hidden and absolutely essential.

Emilie Barnes

5. Don’t have only transactional friendships, instead build a deep and meaningful friendship. I’ve had lots of transactional “friendships” and am working on building better relationships in general. This is like never allowing roots to deepen enough for the fruits of a true friendship to blossom. For me, that was a pattern, I believe it stems from self worth issues. Constantly judging myself. So when there are “bad” days and I’m not “perfect” the gremlins take me under letting me know I don’t deserve to be loved.

6. Seek professional help for issues that warrant such help. Your best friend is not your counselor nor a door mat.

Constantly dumping your marital, parental, business, personal issues on your best friend is like emptying out the air in your camp mattress. You are left with a hard, bumpy surface, poor sleep and a bad back in the morning. And that’s not pleasant for anyone (first hand experience analogy from our camping trips to Knoxville!)

Being aware that you need professional help is not a bad thing. Sometimes we do need that counselor or the right homeopathic remedy or big time intervention. Do NOT be afraid to get that help. Just get the RIGHT kind 😉

And sometimes we just need the deep and meaningful connection of a beloved great friend.

I believe that building a great friendship is one of the most valuable uses of our time. It’s revenue is endless. But it’s not passive.

Blessed are the ones God sends to show His love for us…our friends.

Questions: Do you have a deep and meaningful friendship? How does it affect your life? What special things do you do to cultivate a deep and meaningful friendship? You can leave a comment below.

Stephana works with Powerhouse Leaders who want more results with less BS, for themselves, their team and their bottom line. Contact Stephana at stephana@stephana.net 360-936-3374 or visit http://www.powerhouseleaders.comPowerhouse Leaders.

[trans-advice]

I'm an 18 year old trans girl and I came out to my mom about a month ago now, and she hasn't talked to me about it since. I even spoke to a therapist (family therapist, not gender therapist) in the hopes my mom would take it more seriously, but the therapist just seemed to ignore it/didn't really care. Before coming out, my mom made a lot of transmysogynistic comments, and after I came out she just seems to take extra effort to address me by male pronouns. I'm really worried and idk what to do.

TLDR: Get Out! of there!!! Also get a different therapist. And perhaps search for gender therapists.Having your medical professional being indifferent is an extremely bad sign. L Like you need a transgender supportive/affirming one. And it's not so much your medical professional is malicious, as much as they're not capable of giving appropriate treatment.I'm thinking you should get out as soon as you can. This sounds scary & looming with violence. Perhaps you can still be in contact with your mom, but you need separation to like give coping space, and reduce dependency on a potentially abusive relationship. Perhaps somewhere with roommates to help reduce costs. If you have friends, ask to live with them & offer money for rent, and such.Get employed to get money. Change your name & gender marker if that only requires Appropriate Clinical Treatment (the standard is the state that issues the certificate, meaning for birth certificates it's based on where you're born, for state IDs & drivers licenses it's more on where you live). If you can only change your name, change it to something gender neutral, so that you're not exactly outing yourself to like employers & such regardless of how you gender present/express yourself.Granted, if you're more the entrepreneur type, I know you could sell stuff on eBay & Etsy. (PayPal is like necessary for eBay). If you do Craigslist, do transactions at police stations that they're willing to be safe zones for such transactions. If you can draw, you can try & promote your artwork to try and get commissions (like look at fanart for example). There's patreon where if you can regularly make product, people can pay subscription money.You can also go on sites like GoFundMe or something like such to help out. You can ask people to send money to like your PayPal or other peer to peer (P2P) transaction apps like I know of venmo & I know there's more.These stuffs might require a debit card, so that's a bank thing. It's basically a checking account card. I think it's awesome. Also look into setting up a savings account if you have the money.Do not do credit cards unless you're able to pay them off. Like research how to apply for the best credit card for you. But yeah, to start a credit history you just need to like spend $10-20 a month with it & then pay that off before 30 days lapses. This helps establish like an loan thing, when your cash flow is in a bind but you'll get more within the month. However, if you don't have a reliable way to pay it soon, it might not be the best idea.There's a bit more, but this is what comes to my mind.Good luck, Peace & LoveEve