#i've been promising myself this for years

[paperfeedee]

What would that “former” hot girl from years ago think if she saw just how fucking fat you made her, and how much it turns you on?

That one ask was def onto something, you have more fat in your love handles than some girls have in their entire bodies

I wish I could see the old me's reaction to me now. I don't think she'd believe it tbh. I've gotten fat enough that people don't recognize me anymore if they haven't seen me since i started gaining. Even when I tell them who i am, I can see them trying to connect the dots between me a few years ago, who was in the gym five days a week and thought she was getting fat if she got too close to 130, to the fat, lazy cow twice her size now.

I never thought I would let myself get this huge. Even when I kind of started to let myself go, I promised I'd stop at 150, then 175, then 200. There's no way I would've believed I'd get this fat, let alone be enjoying it and trying to get even fatter. Definitely not showing it off and getting off on being shamed for how fat I am.

I cried when I first hit 150 because I felt like that was so unbelievably fat. If I knew back then that I'd end up packing on another hundred pounds and still be helpless to stop myself from gaining even more, I would've been horrified.

[galaxybooper]

I promised myself I would try posting my edits on Tumblr, especially those I'm most proud of. So here's Cole and some headcanons I have for him!

Cole is Afro-Colombian-Chinese due to Lou being a Chinese surname and Lilly coming from Latin America. Colombia has the biggest African population in all of Latin America. (Also, I've lived here for 10+ years, so I'm hella biased.)

Smells like a mix of sage and pine

Cole is like Disney's Hercules. You get Cole not knowing why he’s been weirdly stronger than the other kids, and he’s been called a freak because of it. With his dad wanting him to be something he isn’t and these brand new powers, he feels lost, unsure of where he belongs. This doesn’t get better when he’s forced to go to the academy. So, he drops out and tries to find his own way. It wasn’t until he met with Sensei Wu that he finally got the answers he wanted. Understanding his powers, understanding a part of who he is, and, most importantly, starting the journey to understand where he belongs

With or without his element, he is very strong. I headcanon that he has a rock climber's body, but he also has the most muscles in the ninja team. I like to think Cole often lifts weights to help boost his super strength, which has come in handy when he lost his element before. Seeing Ninjago for the second time, I've noticed that when the ninja lose their element due to circumstances, Cole is still really strong. Like in Season 1, during the GD finale, when he threw a car at the GD.

Cole was the ninja team leader until Sons of Garmadon when Lloyd was mentally old enough to try the leadership role. I strongly stand firm to this because after Lloyd was aged physically by Tomorrow's Tea, there's no way he should have been the leader at such a young age.

Cole's hobbies include rock climbing, archery, dancing, drawing, and cooking.

Cole is actually a good cook. After Lilly died, he had to cook for himself and his dad for many years. The only reason his cooking fails is that people tamper with his recipes; thus, they don't end up so good.

In honor of Kirby Morrow (RIP KING!), Cole doesn't just like cake. His favorite is Ice Cream Cake, especially hot Fudge Swirl Chocolate Ice Cream Cake.

Cole, minus Zane, because he was homeschooled by Dr Julien, has the most education of the ninjas. He went to school for quite a few years extra compared to the others and went to the Marty Oppenheimer School of Performing Arts before he dropped out two or three days later. I'd like to think Cole actually liked school and learning, but when his dad forced the performing arts on him, his love for school was immediately cut short.

Cole would have gotten into an art degree if he hadn't been forced into the Marty Oppenheimer School of Performing Arts. He seems to really enjoy drawing and sketching.

Cole is hairy. He can't grow a moustache to save his life, but he has hair on his legs, arms, and chest. Maybe in his future, he'll finally grow something on his face but as of right now (not counting DR seasons), he can only dream of the glorious beard or moustache he will have.

[penaltyboxboxbox]

how long have you been drawing for ? your art seems so confident (that seems mean but it’s a compliment i promise) like your strokes and stuff just seem so… educated? like you don’t need to sketch you already know what you want to do ?

my whole life!!!!! ive been drawing since i was a little childdddd like the second i could hold a pencil i was drawing! i got put into art classes very young as well cause i liked to draw so much. i started formal classes at like? 6/7 years old probably? and i did some form of either art class at school, out of school, or some combination from that age until i was an adult. So i've had a decent amount of formal training as a kid and have always just genuinely loved drawing so on top of that i was always drawing for fun too.

I think things really shifted for me when I was like?? 21/22 ish and i got very very into portraiture specifically- i really honed a lot of my skills in that department and honestly just became so obsessed with form. I would draw so much realism, tons of studies, i loved to work backwards- draw the shape/form of a thing first, usually in paint or marker, and then add the lines/details on top. i generally during this time also completely stopped working in any erasable mediums. i became and still am to this day a pens only artist, i cant stand to draw with a pencil.

Doing this gave me what i think is one of the best skills to have as an illustrator- a very confident stroke. Being able to attack a piece, not be afraid of the marks you make, working with what you have rather than fussing until you think it's perfect, made my work much more striking and made me a lot more comfortable with messing up and figuring out a way to fix it. or even start over.

i think generally heavily and meticulously sketching in pencil is what leads a lot of artists to tons of frustration. the linework never looks as good as the sketch, you sketched for hours and only now you realized something is off, takes forever to go back, etc etc etc. I find it to often be very demoralizing- so i always advise just to get as comfortable as you can with as few lines as possible. focusing on FORM and PROPORTION rather than the skeleton method or going over with tiny little pencil strokes. everyone has different methods that work best for them, but that was one thing i taught myself that really changed art for me!

[genericpuff]

vent post

[auroras-void]

Looked in the mirror just now, realized I can't even *make* myself see the boy anymore. I made it, and I'm beautiful, I'm me. It feels... awesome.

[raveartts]

turt

[hiding-under-the-willow]

look at my fanfic boy

[dreamlogic]

2024 year of charlie gets a fucking break (hopefully. maybe. tbd.)

[sheepdolll]

epic shy's doodles compuilation

if you look at the dates you can pinpoint exactly in what ways this style evolved slightly over time i thought that was funny thats why i posted them like this

[dryedation]

I feel like I make people excited for things I'm just not able to live up to. I make too many promises and plans for things that I think in my head should be no problem following through on, only to then not be able to even come close to reaching that seemingly simple goal and disappointing everyone I hyped up, along with myself.

This is more relevant to my activity on my main blog than here (honestly this blog feels more like an escape from the responsibilities I've made on my other blogs), but for personal reasons I don't feel comfortable enough to talk about it there. Maybe one day, but not now.

For the many of you who likely don't know... I was a part of a collaborative AU/AM known as AccidentVerse: the one with the fusions of outcodes like Vantablack (nightmare!ink) and Silence (dream!error). It was a relatively popular au at the time and I was the official artist for it.

I broke off from the team for reasons that I currently don't have it in me to go into any meaningful detail about (I'm still working through therapy to fully understand what happened to me when I was a part of that group; I'm sure it'll come with time), but one thing I'm now coming to terms with after 3 whole years... is that I constantly felt the need to justify my existence online through my work. I believe I had that issue even before I joined AV, but working for that team certainly made it much, much worse.

I was very young at the time, and I didn't have a whole lot going for me in the vast new social circle I was introduced to (like with any socially awkward 13 year old kid), so my only source of value was through the art that I made for AccidentVerse. And everyone loved it. Everyone I met was amazed at the skill I had for being at such a young age. I was valued, essentially put on a pedestal...

...as long as I was working.

Long story short, it burnt me out. This mindset still carries through to today, where I feel as though I have to maintain my prominence in the UTMV community by continuously working and pumping out new content, because... who would I be if I didn't? It was what I was good at, it was the reason I was so valued by the AV admins in the first place... because without that, I would've been nothing to them.

...

...Working on AV today, after adopting it as the sole owner... it's a struggle. I toil desperately for an ounce of motivation for a project that I just cannot seem to find. Don't get me wrong, I love AV. I love the characters dearly... but I'm starting to question if focusing on AccidentVerse is even healthy for me, with all the trauma I've gained from the people I worked under.

I just... I don't know. All I have is a half finished fic for AV that I practically have had to force myself to work on for the better part of 6 months, even if I genuinely hold some passion for the ideas in it.

I'll remind myself to not make as many promises going forward.

[melit0n]

Reading Coraline and also reading The Fellowship of The Ring for a book club is giving me such whiplash 😭

[voidartisan]

I really should be updating my resume and applying for jobs rn

but here i am

scrolling through tumblr

[i-will-physically-fight-you]

hiya just a small psa, first off--thank you for those who sent in writing asks, I'm going to answer them soon. also I am going to try and update Gibbous on Oct 12 (as a bday treat for myself) but if it doesnt happen, then I'll just post a small teaser on here of what I have so far of it. My mental health is still a work in progress, despite my post after Spoke No More (iykyk in terms of having a mental high followed by an immediate mental low haha) but if I go radio silent on this blog, it doesnt mean anything bad, it just means I need to take time to care for myself

[imwritesometimes]

wouldn't it be funny if I could write again lollollol........

[master-k0hga]

| B R A D Y |

[ Category: The Promised Land ]

| Last OC ref in my drafts before I post the couple other lots later today (Cuz I think I might've missed like one or two, not like this post would be done and posted before I have to leave for work anyways..)

This is Brady, also part of the Frostclaw tribe (and again, everyone from this project were former Yiga OCs..). Brady is a nervous wreck and seems very timid and sweet on the outside.. In fact he kind of is, except that he's obsessed with the town's local chef to an unhealthily unhinged degree. Like full on stalkerish fan and also in love too..

But other than that, if he's not being obsessed, he can be kinda chill too...

Anyways.

☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆

INFO

Name: Brady Species: Ice Elf General Personality: Sensitive, kind, nervous, love-struck, emotional, jealous, sweet Height: 6ft “8” Relationship Status: Single

Extra Info:

He works part time in the local library of the town, mostly works at the little shop that resides near the back of the library itself along with a small café inside too. Absolutely filled with glee when they get a delivery for new books each month, especially when Jackson's cookbooks are in the monthly delivery

Is a fan of Jackson and his food, loves to go to every restaurant and bakery to try out the food; However is a little disappointed when the food isn't up to par with the "man himself"

Loves food and can be quite the food critic, believe it or not even though he's just some average joe, he does inspire some beginner chefs with his whimsical critiques; Although sometimes his opinions tend to get shut down when he starts comparing food to his favourite chef

He can get rather jealous very quickly, so his obsessiveness can sometimes get the better of him. His traits can be toxic however that seems to be a mechanism his brain triggers when he feels "threatened". Does go to therapy trying to control it but tends to purposefully miss out on his sessions for obvious reasons

Sometimes when there are updates or other public announcements about the town he doesn't usually keep up to date with much, due to lacking understanding, his personal stresses and whatnot. It's not exactly a bad thing; However he does become misunderstood sometimes because he doesn't keep up or show any empathy for something. People just need patience is all

He's not a fighter for the town but he is part of a small force who defend it when it comes to emergencies or last-minute procedures; Although dangers don't come around here as much as they used to, sometimes you get the odd rebels from the outer walls of the town infiltrating and causing a slight ruckus now and then

He loves reading and listening to audio books, especially to help him sleep. Or even when he's washing dishes or doing chores

Flails his hands in excitement, especially towards interests or things he enjoys. It's cute

He doesn't have many friends, but he enjoys talking to his regular customers, seeing as most are mainly old ladies or visitors who have decided to stay in the tourist/vacation side of town. It's helped his socials skills quite a bit despite still having a little ways to go

+ + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + +

Words aren't working, forgetting what words to use for these now and I hate it.. Oh well not like that matters anyways, but still have loads of these to go anyways so I'll be doing these for an awful long time.

I just don't really want to draw fan art in between re-posting and trying to finish off OC refs and whatnot because I'll just get distracted and leave them all to collect dust all over again.. Designing characters is always fun though, it's just trying to name them, working out their purpose and further developing them.... Especially when you decided to make it into a project and go as far as to creating worlds for them.

I want to die..

. Brady, Art © Me . DON’T RE-POST .

[spaceself]