#i've been thinking about the possibility of me having adhd since i was 13 and it's only gotten-

[steakout-05]

i was ranting to myself in a really disorganised fashion just now about how Barry has ADHD and like. dude. he absolutely has it. there's no way he doesn't. i myself am an undiagnosed ADHDer and i see so many traits in Barry. like.

in the rock opera 'The Very Last Minute', Barry spends the entirety of it procrastinating on training for the monster apocalypse and literally having almost every trait of ADHD ever. like when i watch this video and see Barry legitimately trying to do what he needs to but repeatedly getting stuck in a loop of jumping from task to task and struggling at actually get started on The Big Task™, i see me. like. that is me.

Barry tries to train. he really does. he really does try to take a crack at it, but he just can't focus on it. he just keeps getting distracted by it over and over and avoiding what he needs to do with other little tasks to keep him occupied at every single moment. and like he knows he really needs to do it. he knows that it's super important that he gets started on it as soon as he can. in fact, there are several lyrics to this effect: "Gotta keep focused, gotta keep training, but I just can't seem to stop procrastinating" and "I should probably stop working on this rocking theme song" are a couple that come to mind. but for whatever reason, he just can't focus on it properly and it ends up with him looking like he's "lazy" or "not putting in the effort". like, you see him get exhausted by doing a single skiprope jump, and that is how i feel whenever i try to do a big task when i'm not ready for it or focused at all. it's really really heard to focus on something that seems so big and overwhelming when you have ADHD, so you often kind of try to avoid it and ignore it because it's super daunting by doing smaller tasks. the difference between executive dysfunction and perceived laziness is that if you were being lazy, you wouldn't care and would likely be having a great time slacking off, even when you are reminded of the task at hand. but with executive dysfunction, you can forget about it for a while, but deep inside you likely still care and know you NEED to get the task done soon, and when you're eventually reminded or suddenly remember, you feel a crushing sense of dread. at least, that's how it is for me. and all the excessive task switching and getting everything else done except The Big Task™ you need to get done the most? i do that! i do that!!!

Barry literally does the ADHD thing where he sets an alarm that tells him to do what he needs to do, but the thing is that he was already doing something else on his phone beforehand and presumably forgot about the alarm, so when the alarm goes off, he just feels like he suddenly can't and that it's way too daunting to actually start because it feels like an intrusion. like. that's the ADHD thing!!! he's doing it!!!! he's doing the ADHD thing!!!!! his executives are NOT functioning!!!!!!

Barry also shows a lot of ADHD traits in 'Rainbow Barry' as well, as they're the most prominent in that specific short. in fact, he shows literally every single inattentive trait in all of the shorts together. impulsiveness, distractibility, impatience, forgetfulness, commitment issues, not following instructions properly, he's even got the emotional problems that come with it like being easily angered and frustrated. he EVEN shows the same traits in the JJ2 event dialogues!!! like!!!! look at the dialogues on the JJ wiki and tell me he isn't having ADHD traits!!!!! bro is clearly showing each individual ADHD symptom in everything he's in and either no one is noticing it or no one is talking about it and i'm just SO obsessed with this headcanon/theory of mine. Barry Steakfries is an undiagnosed ADHDer and nobody can convince me otherwise

[waddleonmywaywardducks]

Practicing with adhd.... (A kinda long commentary on how to work with ADHD in your practice instead of against it)

(disclaimer: I'm making this post as someone who has a struggled with ADHD. In no way am I glorifying mental illness or symptoms of mental illness. This is just something I've dealt with all my life and i know other people have too. I'm just posting my own experience and advice. You do not have to use this at all.)

I was diagnosed with ADHD when I was either 7 or 9 and have been struggling with it ever since, idk why I never grew out of it. Over the years of practicing, I've encountered a lot of practitioners with the same problem as me, only all of their advice was to try to get rid of ADHD has much as possible, well I tried that, I'm still the same. But that's just it, ADHD is apart of me, whether I like it or not. For years, I've always hated my ADHD, I constantly feel stupid, childish, and not responsible, but I am, I just need to work with my ADHD instead of around it. And that my friends is what Im going to teach you all here today, so grab a nice comfort TV show and a fidget bc your ADHD ass WILL READ THIS POST!!!!!!!!

My biggest problem with adhd and witchcraft

honest to the Gods, my biggest problem has got to be that witchcraft isnt dogmatic, you aren't going to get a rule book, there is no duality, you pick what's right from wrong, you make your practice your own. I had such a hard time figuring that out because I'm a very hands on learner. I grew up in a Christian household, most historical events that I wanted to research I could read in the Bible, or go to a church, or if I wanted to find community to help me figure out where to go well....it's basically all around me. But we don't have that with witchcraft. We only have ourselves (unless you were born into pagan/witchy family then lucky you I guess 😭😭). So obviously the only thing we can do is research.

"but omg chaos,,, I can't research I have executive dysfunction!"

I understand. Executive dysfunction is so weird why do humans have this??? Why was this built into my system??? Anyways, the best advice I can give you for executive dysfunction is that you can either go one of two ways:

1.) while you are laying in bed, cursing yourself to get up and do something. At least do something, but you just can't. That's ok. Dont beat yourself up about it, honestly the more you do that the more you're not going to want to do it. Allow yourself to be like this, allow yourself to just lay there. If you need to give offerings but you just can't get up, say sorry out loud, I always find that this brings me comfort and that my deities will know I'm truly sorry. Then forget about it, now it's time to allow yourself to just be. And then you wait until you find the strength to do it. That's it. Just be.

2.) you're laying in bed and you really need to give offerings to your deities. Get up. Just do it. Immediately once you have the thought in mind don't even think about it just do it. I know this doesn't work 100% of the time but it does for me. So 🤷

"how do I know if my practice is my own or if it's just a hyper-fixation?"

OK OK. I don't know anyone else who has this struggle but I have. When I started out, I was just a bright eyed kid filled with questions about the "unholy". I really started practicing when I was like 13-15. During these times, I didn't know how strong my hyper-fixation was with Greek mythology and religion until I fell out of that fixation. It was very disappointing to see myself gain so much momentum only to come crashing down. One thing that helped me decipher whether my practice was my own or not was simply asking questions to myself about my own beliefs and upg. If I couldn't answer these questions then I knew I wasn't really practicing I was just researching. Without my own experience, my own UPG, my spells weren't working correctly, and my rituals were failing. If there is no emotion behind it for me then the spell is just a bunch of herbs in a bottle.

"I struggle with grounding and meditation, how can I become better at that?"

Firstly, I need people to realize that I don't believe there is one right way to meditate. For me, starting out, I listened to guided meditations which helped me A LOT. Guided meditations I feel like are really slept on but I got a lot of communication done with my deties through this way, I met one of my guides this way bro. Another way you could do is laying down. As long as you are allowing yourself time to get into the meditative state, and if you can't, oh well, don't beat yourself up about, you can always try again.

"I have trouble remembering herb properties, correspondences, and holidays"

Write. Everything. down. Every spell you've ever created, every experience you have with your deties, every tarot card reading. Write it all down. Cross-research everything until something sticks. Give up the idea that grimoires need to look a certain way or give off a certain vibe. Just start writing shit down. In any book.

How I work with ADHD in my practice

Have you guys ever seen those post, I think they were floating around here around like 2019 or 2020?? They we're like "spells to get rid of ADHD" or "spells to get rid of depression" and shit like that. Yeah, I never understood those. I don't understand why we are treating these illnesses/disabilities like they are monsters?? I hate the ideology that all illnesses are bad, because yeah they impose a great risk to our health, but we can always look on the brighter side of things. My ADHD allows me to feel more deeply, because of this I feel connected to the gods always. My ADHD makes me passionate about my Interests in the gods, my ADHD can work with me.

Some ways I work with ADHD in my practice is by making a schedule and sticking to it but a bigger importance to that is recognizing when I need a break. During days that are dedicated to the gods, or holidays, I often times have a big thing planned that might take up a lot of energy. I allow myself breaks with things that aren't witchcraft related at all, then when I'm ready I pick it back up from where I left off.

I honestly think if you are reading this and you're like "yeah maybe I should start working with my ADHD instead of against it....but none of this stuff is hitting for me."

Then I advice you to look at your own symptoms and try to see if you can find any way you can work with yourself. For example, if one of my symptoms was that I was impulsive, one thing I would do is dedicate something impulsive to one of my gods. Like dying my hair, going out of town for the night, getting drunk on a Tuesday afternoon (keep it stable buddy.), who gives a fuck. You are using your symptoms in a way that works with it instead of against it.

In conclusion....

I've had this post in mind for a while I just never had the words for it until now, and I still don't even know if this makes sense😭😭 I just hope to help atleast someone (it's 3 am and I literally decided to write this like....20 minutes ago.) this post was also me bashing on people who think ADHD is "all bad." Anyways, if anyone has any other advice or suggestions on how to work with ADHD, please leave them in the comments! I would love to get as much advice from adhd practitioners as I can! Alright I'm going to sleep now

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for being semi-close to someone a lot younger than me?

This is something I've been worried about for a while, but it's become more prominent lately after me seeing several people say it's inherently creepy for an adult (or even just way older person) to be interacting with a child. And I really don't want to be like that, I don't want to hurt a kid ever, especially since I know what it's like to be groomed myself.

So I (18F) have known this kid (13) for about 3 years now. They reached out to me online because of similar interests- mainly in games and in YouTube channels, and we bonded a lot over that. They didn't have their age in their bio so I didn't immediately know their age, but I did find out a few months in.

Over the course of when we've known each other I've been as careful as I can to be age appropriate. I never bring up anything sexual for obvious reasons (the only time it ever came up was them asking what a sexual term meant, which made me very uncomfortable and I tried to change the subject... to which they started repeatedly inappropriately using the word. They ended up looking up the definition and where horrified. Even that conversation makes me feel wrong).

I also make sure to not put any of my personal issues on them. I couldn't always hide when I was upset- both because for the first year of us knowing each other I had unmedicated ADHD that made my mood swing a lot, and for the past 2 1/2 years or so I've been in a very toxic relationship that I still don't know how to get out of and quite frankly, am scared to get out of because I don't know how they'll react if I do actually leave them. Do to this, there's been times they could tell something was off and would ask me what's wrong. I avoided telling them as much as possible, just giving them something vague and reminding them that it's not their responsibility to help me, because they would always try to help cheer me up, and even that didn't feel right because they're a kid. They should be focusing on themself, not me. The worst of this though, is there was a time I was struggling heavilly with suicidal thoughts. I was planning to attempt, and sent out a vague "goodbye" type message, trying not to make it too obvious what was happening. They caught on though. They weren't the one who helped me calm down from that but I still know how awful it is to be sitting there, scared you're going to loose someone important to you. Especially for a kid. I've apologized for that happening many times, and it hasn't repeated, but every time they just go "It's fine, you were a struggling kid too back then" as if that makes that okay. It doesn't feel right.

Throughout the 3 years we've known each other, I've also tried to help out where I can with several issues they've had. Which was pretty much just me giving advice for how to handle difficult situations where I felt I could, and offering comfort and reassurance where I couldn't. Among other things, I helped them recognize several instances where other people they met online where intentionally trying to groom them. I explained to them that it wasn't normal for someone my age to want to be with them/find them attractive, because there where several instances of them telling me of 15/16 year olds getting with them. That no responsible person my age would be doing that to them, and that it wasn't okay for them to do that.

Because of the help I've given them, I notice they look up to me quite a lot. They have told me they see me as a role model and "the best person they know" (I can guarantee I'm not, and have tried to get them to not see me that highly because that seems unhealthy). They even see me as a sort of parental figure, including calling me parental-like names. That by itself I don't mind too much, I know they had a terrible home-life and didn't feel they could actually look up to their real life parents. So if I am giving them something I think every child deserves to have (a parental role model they can look up to), I'm glad. I just worry I'm not as good a role model for that as they think I am, and that I'm a creep, just like the ones I have gotten away from them in the past. I do care about them a lot, and do see them in that sort of familial way, and I want to protect them and help them have a better life, because I know they have struggled a lot and if I am able to help them, I want to. But I'm worried I'm causing the same harm that has been caused to me, and that others have tried to/have caused to them in the past without even realizing what I'm doing wrong. I don't want to be like those creepy assholes.

AITA?

What are these acronyms?

[kandadara]

Twyla Appreciation Ramblings

Warning: Long

For as long as I've been into Monster High, Twyla has always been my favorite character. So let's talk about her.

Gen 3 Twyla is confirmed to have autism, as evidenced from her music video, the singer from said video posting it on Instagram who is also autistic, and having an autistic VA (according to IMDB). A lot of autistic people relate to Twyla and I'm glad that neurodivergent conditions such as autism are getting positive representation.

Though, it makes me wonder some things, especially about mental health.

I know this is a kids show, so maybe I'm making this too complicated, but I hope they'll incorporate mental health somehow, especially since this sort of thing affects so many. The subject is a delicate one, but even so, it is still important and shouldn't be stigmatized the way it is in our society.

Getting a little personal, as someone who has severe social anxiety and avoidant personality disorder, plus being on the introverted side, I could also see a lot of myself in Twyla as well and her character resonated within me. I don't know if I have ADHD and/or Autism or not, as there's a long history of me being diagnosed and misdiagnosed with a plethora of things since childhood, so I remain unsure of what all I may have anymore, but one, both, or neither are still possible. With that said, I'm still technically considered neurodivergent as I have OCD, which falls under the neurodivergence umbrella. Regardless, Twyla is a comfort character to me and always will be.

Now back to Twyla...

While this could just be me overanalyzing her character and going into headcanon territory (though let's be real, it's fun), her character is enjoyable for me to write and I love adding depth to her. I could see Twyla also having social anxiety and/or avoidant personality disorder, as she is painfully shy. Even for Gen 3, I could still see this being the case, alongside having autism. These sorts of things can and do co-occur. With that said, I'm no psychology expert, but I do try to do my research before trying to incorporate things like mental health issues and psychology into my writings.

This is all my opinion, but I'll share my take on Gen 1 Twyla, though these could still apply to the Gen 2 and Gen 3 versions of her as well.

The way I see Twyla is she's a shy, sweet, and introverted ghoul who prefers to keep to the shadows, finding solace in solitude. An introspective and contemplative sort that is prone to daydreaming, but has a good intuition nonetheless. She's a peaceful and gentle girl who likes to help people from the shadows, like an invisible ally. She always seemed rather innocent to me and I can see her being idealistic to an extent, thinking very much about what could be, especially in regards to a harmonious future for all monsters and normies alike. Though, deep down, I could imagine she feels a bit lonely and misunderstood, afraid to get close to people for fear of being rejected/judged/hurt and finds social situations difficult, but she still wants someone to understand her sincerest self. According to her profile in Gen 1, her favorite class is psychology, so I imagine she's also a curious type that likes to know the why behind things as it eases her mind and likes to read a bunch on various topics, including history (as seen in Gen 3). In her 13 Wishes diary, it is implied she doesn't entirely accept herself as she refers to herself as "bad" and "terrible", suggesting a struggle with self-confidence and self-esteem. More than anything, I think she wants to be able to be herself and live her truth, but also wants to be loved truly as herself by those closest to her so she feels conflicted at times. I see all this in Twyla and more, I could write plenty more, but I will leave it at this for now.

I feel many people can relate to these things rather well, just like I do.

As an older fan, I'm likely always going to be partial to Gen 1, but I look forward to seeing where this version of Twyla's story goes and how she'll be portrayed. Hope y'all enjoyed reading this post and ramble.

(PS: Unrelated, but the way her hands flap as she's reading those books is just too cute!)

[hollow-dweller]

20 Questions (for fanfic writers)

tagged by @abcd-em, thank you beloved <3

1. how many works do you have on ao3?

26!

2. what's your total ao3 word count?

134,413

3. what fandoms do you write for?

mostly spidey and pilgrimage, but i dabble in other fandoms--mostly voltron, which i had thought i had escaped the sucking quicksand of but alas seems not to be the case

4. top five fics by kudos?

all the wonders i have seen (i will see a second time)

leave the rest to the gods

Unconscionable

when darkness comes upon you

sew your fortunes on a string

5. do you respond to comments?

i try to! transparently, i sometimes get overwhelmed and while i love receiving comments and re-read every single one a million times, i do sometimes have a hard time actually responding. i cherish every single one but also my brain was cursed by the gods.

6. what is the fic your wrote with the angstiest ending?

probably my pilgrimage fic, everything's growing in our garden. it's very rare that i write for vibes but phoebe bridgers' Punisher had me in a chokehold and that is definitely reflected in that fic, short as it is. it's my most "closure denied" ending, that i've posted anyway, and i think that ups the angst factor.

7. what's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

pilgrimage fandom gets the top spot here too, with love sent to me. it's probably the most straightforward romance/get-together fic i've written, and AU to boot, which are both anomalies for me. but i have a great deal of affection for that fic, and i love the tenderness of it.

8. do you get hate on fics?

the closest i get in spidey is generally people being demanding about updates, which i usually just delete. there is one particular troll in pilgrimage who crops up every once in awhile to leave "hate" comments on various peoples' fics, and i've been hit with that a couple times, but that's just a pathetic person wanting attention so it doesn't really count.

other than that, i really have the best commentariat anyone could ask for.

9. do you write smut?

yes! i firmly believe erotica is an important tool for examining characters and their relationships

10. craziest crossover:

i don't write crossovers exactly, so i'll cop out and point to the spidey/twilight fusion au since it is crossover-adjacent

11. have you ever had a fic stolen?

not to my knowledge! and hopefully i never will

12. have you ever had a fic translated?

again not to my knowledge! there are few things i would find more flattering

13. have you ever co-written a fic before?

alas, no. i love the prospect of it, and have gotten to the outlining/ideating stage with a few people in the past, but again i'll be fully transparent in that i'm not the most reliable person to attempt that kind of project with. maybe someday, and i'm definitely open to it!

but also: it's me, hi! i'm the problem, it's me.

14. all time favorite ship?

i'm a libra with adhd, asking me to choose a favourite is a hate crime.

from the lens of fannish engagement or creation, which to me is different but not unrelated to loving/shipping a couple as it is represented/written in the text, it's probably any combination of Ned/MJ/Peter, either platonic or romantic. i love an OT3, i love frenship, i LOVE where NWH left us and the possibilities we can explore with their relationships to one another.

15. what's a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

if i truly doubt a wip will get finished, i don't post it. everything i've posted is something i fully intend to finish, i just can never say when that might happen. i can't predict the future obviously, so maybe that'll change, but i re-read my posted works relatively frequently and have a genuine desire to see them all complete at some point. even the ones that i reread and can see how my writing has since improved, or think i could have executed better, i still have love for and interest in. if i didn't, i'd delete.

16 & 17. what are your writing strengths and weaknesses?

combining these two because my writing strength is a reflection of my writing weakness: i'm very good at elaborating on ideas, not so much on coming up with them whole cloth. what i mean by that is i'm most comfortable, as a writer, coming up with creative and even novel divergences from canon, and making the corresponding changes in characters and plot that would result from those divergences. i'm good at the "what if" of fic.

the converse is that i'm not great at speculation, of figuring out "what happens next". so much of my post-NWH stuff, for example, is about exploring potential emotional and relationship-based realities, but doesn't have "plot" in the sense of being developments of the story of Peter Parker as i imagine it might happen in the MCU. even fics like we said our dreams will carry us, which i bill as a kind of post-beyond the spiderverse speculation fic, doesn't actually deal with the nitty-gritty of what i think might happen in the next movie. how things actually happen in this imagined version of beyond the spiderverse is secondary to the emotional fallout of those events, and that's what i'm writing about.

both these flow from my primary analytical strength/weakness: i am great at interpretive analysis, and fucking terrible at predictive analysis.

18. thoughts on dialogue in another language?

it is. incredibly difficult to get right. i studied languages and translation in university, and i still hesitate to write dialogue in other languages into my fics. it's not just a matter of getting the language itself right. that in and of itself is difficult, but anecdotally speaking i find that most native speakers of a language who read fic are incredibly kind and polite when making corrections to the language.

what takes me out of a fic is the manner in which other languages are integrated, and how very poorly that is usually done. "oh sorry it's hard to switch back" has become a meme, but a lot of the use of languages other than English, when written by non-native speakers of the languages in question, read as just that clunky and incredibly disconnected from how polyglots actually speak and switch between languages.

having said all that, language is an INCREDIBLY important part of culture, which makes it an equally important part of the characters who speak--or whose families speak--other languages. as someone in spider-man fandom, Miles' Puerto Rican heritage and both his and Rio's relationships to that heritage and the spanish language are important elements of his character. when i write Miles, and especially Miles & Rio, it's important to me that that is incorporated. like anything, it takes research, and thoughtfulness, and humility--try your best, and be ready to be corrected if you get it wrong.

19. first fandom you wrote in?

harry potter (derogatory), back when i was a wee skelly

20. favorite fic you've written?

i once again point to the libra with adhd of it all, and then direct you to my favourites series on ao3

Tagging: @weezly14 @mysterycyclone @saltwaterpanda @gooddaygalaxy @ambivalentcats @shrinkthisviolet @anarchyduck and anyone else who wants to!

[writebethany]

20 questions for fic writers

Just because i saw it and wanted to 😂

How many works do you have on ao3?

138

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

2,336,801

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Started with Warehouse 13 and bering and wells, then wandered into OUAT and Swanqueen, then DWP and Mirandy, then a stint in Pitch Perfect 2 specifically for Becommissar because mmm Kommissar, a blip into Supergirl some for Supercat, more for General Danvers (tangentially also Supercorp but that's more for the fact that I run the chirstmas exchange than anything, love those kids, not my usual ship), and a crossover or two with Legends of Tomorrow with Supercanaary in there too in that same era, two seconds in ot3 shipping in The Greatest Showman because Jenny Lind mhm, one fic in Steven Universe because poly!diamonds, then into Harry Potter for anything to do with the Black Sisters and Hermione and occasionally Lucius which is still on going, but a bit backburnered because I've also fallen into writing fic for The Librarians this year centered around some pairing of Cassandra, Eve and Jenkins for the most part. Basically. It's a lot, and a lot of bouncing around between larger eras in specific fandoms lol.

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

Ask me No Questions (I'll Tell You No Lies) [HP Hermione/Narcissa/Anathema], Heaven When We're Home [HP Hermione/Narcissa], By All Accounts [Supergirl, Supercorp (apprciate you guys but I'm still confused by that😂)], Coffee Shops and Vigilantes [Supergirl/Legends of Tomorrow, Supercanary], Sincerely Yours [HP Hermione scores a hat trick]

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I try to as much as possible, especially in smaller fandoms. Sometimes I get a bit overwhelmed at it falls by the wayside, but I come back eventually.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Uhhhhhh there's usually one in every fandom I stay in for long enough where I just go full nuclear angst and no happy ending. Probably the worst of the worst Offenders is "I Hate to Kill You (I Hate to Die)" for obvious reasons if you've read it, but "of all the things I never told you" and "Halfway Through the Woods" are also up there and in probably last place but still *very* angsty is "Better This Way"

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Hard to pick. Save for those fics I'm a happy ending hoe. Probably the most rewarding happy ending will be for "The Sun Must Set to Rise" but that isn't published yet. I'm actually procrastinating the wrap up that story right now by doing this 😂😅

8. Do you get hate on fic?

Out right "you suck" hate? Once or twice. But there has been whining in the past on my stories about how I never finish anything or that I update too slow and why am I like this. *Those comments get responded to with some lessons in manners*

9. Do you write smut?

*looks at the tab beside Sun Must Set to Rise* I have no idea what you're talking about. But yeah, some pwp but a lot of smut as the pay off in long fics to put that cherry on top of them.

10. Do you write crossovers?

Have before, though they aren't my main thing, and unclear if Supergirl/Legends counts since like. The shows actually did that themselves once a season 😂

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I think I ended up on a scraping website that people posted about on tumblr all of once. Not mad about not having to fight that lol.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

I've had people ask before, but they're on different databases than ao3 so I haven't really checked on how that went for them.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Several! Two of my closest fandom friends have cowritten with me and one IRL friend. Some of them got finished, others did not, but it was fun along the way.

14. What’s your all-time favourite ship?

??????? I know there are people out there who have stuck in one fandom and only one fandom for longer than I've been writing and they definitely have the answer to this, but I have ADHD and doooooo not. If I had to pick at gunpoint, I'd probably say Harry Potter Hat Trick, but unless you point a gun at me I'm not answering.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but probably won’t?

Probably "Sometimes it's Soft Hands and Mailing Envelopes" it was a big part of my life in 2015 and I obsessed over it and wrote it and its sequel at such a fast pace, especially for going into my senior year of college. But I've reread the prequel and it's cute and I started reading it over again and just went 'I know where I wanted this to go, I can see how I would get there, I don't want to do that though' because it's a very slice of life story about moving in with your girlfriend and both you and your girlfriend navigating a new job/grad school and I've lived both of those experiences now, and especially I do not want to relive grad school, but also I don't usually write long slice of life things anymore. Sci-fi/fantasy and plot heavy for lyfe lol. But I do wish I had finished it at the time.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I think over arching plot, like I'm good at fitting the pieces together where they need to go to make a believable story, which is good when you tend towards writing more mystery-esque 'solve a problem' fic. Also dialogue as a secondary. There is no struggle here to make these bitches say words.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I have DEBILITATING wordy bitch disease. This could be managed if I edited stories before posting them, but I don't. I'm doing well to edit my original work, thanks. So it leads to a lot of fics that are probably 20-50k too long and drag on the point for a bit. I *have* gotten better at it though. The White Queen is probably 100k too long oh my god, I try to forget she exists, even if it's one of the most popular fics I've written.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I have before, mostly in Pitch Perfect since Kommissar is German. It was a good experience. I probably wouldn't do it again unless I either knew the language or it was made up. In text notes so the reader gets what was said are the most awkward thing to deal with in the history of ever.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Warehouse 13. I hadn't known about fic for that long before starting to write for it. I also hadn't realized that I was a big ole homo, which in the late 00s/early 10s fanfic was the only fucking way I was going to see two ladies kiss and by god I was going to leverage the award winning writing skills I had gained writing terrible, original, teenager ficition to do it.

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

I think for a long, long time it was Of Cats, Giraffes, and Mice. It's just so very soft and caring and for a long while I could just feel that care and sink right into it and it just felt like the best thing I'd ever written. Rereading it now, it's still a very good fic, but I'm starting to see the little holes here and there as I grow as a writer. It's still good! I love it to death, and to talk about favorites without it would be incomplete, but I think that it's important to mention that even your best work eventually loses a bit of shine, no less dear, a huge stepping stone in the right direction, just not the top one anymore.

I think now my favorite is Heaven When We're Home. It has all of those hallmarks that Of Cats, Giraffes, and Mice did, if shorter, and there's a lyrical note to the writing and word choice in it that I have NO idea how I did (not being sober when writing probably didn't hurt) and I'm still chasing that sort of writing even now 2 years later.

[pyreflydust]

Sometimes my mother complains that my brother cares too much about appearances and she ignores when I say I do too. Because I don't do it in a way she disapproves of (he acts Too Smart and Too Academic and wears clothes that are Too Nice and I simply HIDE because if people PERCEIVE ME then they'll see my flaws) and I know part of it is because he holds himself together around everyone else and she has to deal with the fallout and only I have to deal with the fallout of my failure to hold myself together while still desperately trying but...

I don't have an On Paper bpd diagnosis but I have an On Paper "We think (he) has bpd but we're not supposed to diagnose that in 13 year olds" on some old psych test from 1999. I had a psychiatrist who insisted I had Rapid Cycle Bipolar despite the fact the cycles were Too Rapid and never really went Up and a therapist who years later, without confirming one way or another, pointed out that most Rapid Cycle Bipolar diagnoses are actually really just Borderline Personality. I have a therapist now who has gestured to coping that I do as Overcontrolled and I think about how the one who most implied I Might have bpd said I have control issues (not as a judgment just as a statement and fuck knows she's right.)

Overcontrolled Personality can come with so very many things. It doesn't have to be "Quiet" bpd but it can be. And I think about how much of my earliest therapy was about making me stop being loud and how many of my toxic behaviors I had to swallow instead of learning to cope with them because it was never "Why are you doing this? Are you in pain?" it was "jfc stop doing this and snap a rubber band against your arm instead" I think about how the "quiet" part of bpd reminds me of the complaint I've seen many people have about autism and adhd and how people rely on external symptoms to make diagnoses. How so many people only care how someone else's mental illness or developmental disorder affects them.

When I was digging into this, before I backed away for fear of seeing my own reflection, I saw someone use the terms pleasure seeking and risk averse and I think about how badly I wanted to be pleasure seeking even if it destroyed me but I was pushed back further and further until I became risk averse. Which is still destructive, just in a way people consider "quiet" so no one gives a shit.

When I go outside, I feel like I'm just visiting. I don't belong out there, mingling with the living humans. I care about appearances but I cannot fake something that Feels Human so I need as little exposure as possible to the Real Humans. I would love to interact with people more, to have a community (to be allowed in a relationship especially because it has been fifteen fucking years since my last one entire teenagers, potentially ones reading this, have been born since then) but the very idea of trying feels like shoving my entire hand into an open wound. I'm afraid everyone else will notice that I don't fit. I'm afraid they'll be disgusted by the very sight of me, let alone the words and the thoughts and the feelings that make up who I am. But the longer I stay shut in, the more I rot and the more I rot, the less chance I have of ever being happy.

[flowerbloom-arts]

Hmm… how about the Fillyjonk/Hemulen who owned the Moomin foundling home, from which Moominpappa grew up and eventually escaped from? I have a feeling you have more thoughts about her than most.

I do have alot of thoughts about her but I don't think they can be put into any square of the bingo I reblogged, so I'll write my thoughts in text form;

For the duration of this ramble, I will be almost exclusively considering the Hemulen from the book version of Moominpappa's Memoirs, since the Fillyjonk is more or less a creation made to fulfill the roles of two characters to simplify the narrative, and we don't have much unique information about her besides the militaristic attitude, the fact she opts to write her kids' numbers on their back rather than tagging them, owns a mixed species foundling home rather than one exclusive to Moomins, and the small implication that she's related to the Mrs. Fillyjonk of the 90s series. I'm trying to wrack my brain on how I want to use this fillyjonk because I think her design is unfairly pretty, and the only thing I can come up with is her being Mrs. Fillyjonk's aunt Doris who was name dropped in a Lars comic once (in the Inspector's Nephew, in particular, and was referenced in Moominmamma's Maid far prior)

So anyway, the Hemulen strikes me as interesting and her dynamic with Number 13 (little Moominpappa) potentially so. I've been wanting to make more content of her but the curse of having too many other ideas still aches me. I find her mentioned interest in astrology to be a remarkable detail, since very little do we see hemulens besides the comic Inspector have real hobbies they participate in despite their job, and her somewhat odd priority in cleanliness over giving her children affection is something to be pondered.

Her attitude seems a bit cranky towards the strange talkative child, likely having to endure this behavior far more than her patience allowed, yet Number 13 still had the affection in his heart to call her auntie after saving who he thought was her despite the constant misery and self-loathing he's been put through due to the lack of proper care for someone of his peculiar needs. I like to believe Number 13's symptoms are similar to that of ADHD, and this is cause for very annoying behavior for a caregiver who is used to obedient and discreet children who don't act friendly towards her.

I imagine there's a begrudging acceptance in their relationship and even mixed feelings when it comes to some subjects, such as Number 13's interest in her astrology that nobody else would partake in. She would try to forcefully put him in place but his spirit doesn't seem to break outside of the lamenting to the hall mirror some nights, and one has to wonder if she hears his wails to himself and what she makes of it.

There's alot to ponder about such a mysterious woman we know enough about to raise more questions than there could possibly be answers for. Like, one does have to truly wonder....

Why did she build a foundling home for Moomins in the first place?

And why does she wear golf shoes?

[meowbiscuits]

Edén's Witchy Intro

❀ Basic Info ✿

my name is Edén (eh-d-EH-n)

i am 100% bilingual (SPA & ENG)

i am 18, cap ☼, lib ☾, gem ⇧

i use any pronouns + i am queer & nonbinary

puerto rican who still resides in the island

i'm a moderately advanced (5 yrs) witch (still a beginner in brujeria due to lack of non-eurocentric or colonized resources)

ENFP. i'm EXTREMELY social!!

i am autistic & have ADHD. cats are my special interest and my cat is my familiar 🫶🏼

⏤͟͟͞͞ ☆Extras:

hi!! another thing you should know about me is that labels just aren't for me. i like what i like and i believe what i believe, not to say that labels are bad! if it works for you, i'm so very glad! i like to expand and learn more every day, so therefore the label would feel very restricting. i've been learning and practicing since im 13. i've only recently started to solidify my interest and efforts into deity work. some deities i take an intellectual and (possibly eventually devotional) interest in are Dionysus, Hades, Persephone, Apollo and Medusa. i am an Aphrodite devotee.

i also am on the lower side of economic privilege so i enjoy speaking to others who can relate to this and like reblogging and reading content that is inclusive to people like me!

i'm always open to new friends and am extremely non judgmental. i don't judge what others believe or might not believe. personally, as for the moment, hexes and things similar just aren't for me. that does not mean i judge others who participate in it, i support whatever brings you closer to your faith!!

that's most of what i can say <33

have a bewitched day/night/evening/afternoon!!

☺︎

DNI:

TERF, racist, homophobic, transphobic, colorist, xenophobic, believe autism needs a cure, pro-Autism Speaks, under 14 y/o, no romantic interactions (platonic joking flirting ok if over 18), christians, anti-witchcraft, bigotted, fatshamers, pro-ana or pro-mia, body shamers, if you think meds are less important than spiritual beliefs, anti-meds, ableists, if you believe narcissists are all toxic, abusive or bad etc. basically just dont interact if you relate to any of these or anything similar.

[traumasurvivorshelpingsurvivors]

Hello, I was looking for some advice.

TW: anxiety, kinda negligent parents

First of all, English it's not my first language, sorry for any mistakes. I'm 17, and since 13 or 14 years old, I'm suffering because of anxiety. And I think it's anxiety, because my parents never wanted to take me to a psychologist even if I asked them in every way possible, so I've never been diagnosed with anything. This last year the symptoms got worse, and I don't know how to handle them. I am most concerned about paranoia and intrusive thoughts, because almost every day I have those symptoms, and they ruin my day.

Also, recently I've been investigating about ADHD and autism. I suspect that I'm neurodivergent, but I can't solve that doubt because, as I said before, my parents don't want to take me to a psychologist even though we can afford it.

I'm really lost right know and I would appreciate if you could answer, thank you very much.

Hi anon,

First of all your English is perfectly fine.

Please know that we are not professionals, so we unfortunately cannot tell you what disorders you do or do not have. The best we can do is give you some general options you could look further into with the guidance of a professional.

If you want to explore your anxiety, I would ask yourself what experiences or environments you have been in that may be contributing to it. Something that my counseling professor has been drilling in our heads is that anxiety is not a problem, it's a symptom. Yes, anxiety is problematic, but it's not the root of the problem. Anxiety is a survival mechanism often triggered by a stressful environment that makes you feel unstable in some regard. My professor has explained in the past that anxiety is the product of a prolonged production of cortisol (the stress hormone), which is typically released when you feel, of course, stressed out. It's when you're stressed out back-to-back that anxiety often develops. Of course this may not be the only possibility, but this is something that I'm learning and something you could look into further.

While we ultimately recommend getting a professional diagnosis, we recognize that it's not always possible. In the meantime, you could consider looking into how the DSM or ICD (depending on whether or not you reside in the US) classifies the disorders you suspect you have, and see how that aligns or contrasts with your symptoms. While self-diagnosis is not necessarily a substitution for a clinical diagnosis (it's worth getting professional insight), it can help settle some questions and also pose some for a potential professional. I would also recommend not only looking into diagnostic manuals, but also asking people with these disorders how they experience it (so long as they're willing to have that discussion), as disorders can often present very differently. Maximizing the research you do into these disorders is wisest when considering self-diagnosing.

I cannot speak on what it's like to have ADHD, but I was diagnosed with autism (at the time it was called Asperger's), so if you're looking for some insight I'd be happy to elaborate on my experience.

Hope I could help. Please let us know if you need anything or if you're curious to know more about what autism can look like in others. Best of luck!

-Bun

[kholden83]

I posted 12,046 times in 2022

22 posts created (0%)

12,024 posts reblogged (100%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@the-gayest-dovah

@maximum-mom

@stabbyflower

@straycatj

@farm-paws

I tagged 2,013 of my posts in 2022

#pet rat - 232 posts

#should probably tag this 'personal' or something - 36 posts

#unreality - 29 posts

#huh - 20 posts

#signal boost - 19 posts

#wow - 17 posts

#yeah - 16 posts

#fictional pet care - 12 posts

#some original content - 12 posts

#hmm - 11 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#and it only came up because of that school in brisbane that tried to suddenly tried to add a bunch of anti-gay stuff to their previously ba

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

I'm sure we all know the post about cleaning with ADHD that suggests "Junebugging", an attitude to cleaning that as long as something is being cleaned, progress is being made, so don't worry if you somehow cleaned the kitchen table instead of the shower?

Anyway, I just junebugged my way into cleaning the outside of the front door.

I put some washing (US:laundry) on, and to help it dry (I usually hang it inside) put my hygrometer outside to see if it was worth opening up. It was only 60% outside, to inside's 70%, so I wandered around opening windows.

Kitchen window had somehow got locked, so I got the Complete house keys, which live on a lanyard, to unlock it. (I have a copy of the door key on my bike key chain, so I don't need the Complete set often)

Lanyard was mouldy somehow, so I hung it on the doorknob to wipe it over with isopropyl alcohol.

After that, the bit of the door that got wiped incidentally was way cleaner, and showing up how dirty the rest of the door was, so I got some wipes out and cleaned that too. For the first time since I lived here, some 5 years now.

After I typed that, I looked up the original post to just double check, and it defined junebugging a little differently to how I had recalled it, but my thinking here was inspired by it.

Anyway, after that, I'd accidentally removed one more wipe from the packet than I needed for the door, and my grubby fingers had got it dirty, so I cleaned the light switches. The one in the kitchen was filthy, I'm not sure it had ever been cleaned, tbh.

3 notes - Posted April 20, 2022

#4

I finally got around to scheduling my COVID booster. I very cleverly scheduled it for a Monday afternoon, shortly after my daycentre finishes to save a trip into Town, and before I have a couple of days with nothing on, just in case I have side effects.

Only. I forgot that today is a public holiday, and my day centre is closed, so I don't save a trip into town, and there is in fact a small possibility that the chemist itself won't be open, and the website just let me schedule for this arvo because the public holiday hadn't been programmed in. I did actually mean to ring up and check, but I forgot.

I could have rescheduled for next week, but I've already put it off for months, so I decided to just go anyway

3 notes - Posted June 13, 2022

#3

ARGH! Four electorates still in doubt in the whole country, and one of them is mine. I just want to know who our MP is!

4 notes - Posted May 27, 2022

#2

Well, it finally got me. I have COVID.

I'm at camp, and woke up this morning feeling like a truck hit me, and left a buncha sludge in my lungs.

So I left the cabin, and hung out on the verandah until someone in authority woke up so I could ask for a test. Which was positive. Really positive, the line was really clear before it even finished developing.

Currently back on the verandah, waiting for a family member to come retrieve me.

About an hour ago I coughed so hard I puked.

5 notes - Posted December 8, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

I am so just over all this rain

Not as much as the residents of Lismore, I guess, but even without dangerous flooding this is too much water.

6 notes - Posted March 2, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[diedandwenttobobevans]

First Journal Entry 7/21/24

Hi. Hello. I'm so fucking bad at journals. I've been wanting to do this for a bit tho. It's going to be a big dumb thought dump. Don't really care about coherence, this is just a habit I really wanted to get into. Theres a part of me thats like, anxious? I'm dealing with some really bad self image issues right now. Lots of stuff going on in my life. I've been insanely insecure and self concious recently and so even just the idea of airing my greivances out publicly with the protection of anonymity is nerve wracking to me. Everything in life feels overwhleming and. just. AAAAAAAAAA

Here's the thing. I'm a sorry excuse for an adult. I'm 35, just got out of a mediocre and toxic 13+ year relationship with my ex back in April. It was a long, dragged out death to a unfulfilling existence that I held onto too long. Dear Jesus I just realized I'll be 36 in 3 weeks. Fuck. Ready to get off Mr. Bones ride already. I am she/her/they (oh hey, that they is new but dont want to dwell on it too much) bi- lesbian leaning mess of a human being. I don't have spawn thank god. That's not to say I dislike kids or anything, I just don't find I am a patient and responsibile enough person to care for one. I barely can take care of myself.

So mental disorders. I haven't been properly diagnosed. Gotta love the American Health Care system. But it's more so I don't do anything. I don't take care of myself in the very obvious ways and I am always prcrastinating and straight up avoiding difficult and stressing tasks that every other normal ass person can do. So I haven't bothered with getting health insurance. I don't have a traditional job that provides benefits. God, I sleep so much but everthing tires me. Even just writing this out is mentally exhausting. I don't know whats wrong with me. I think its ADHD, Depression, Anxiety, maybe something else. Autism? BPD? Maybe I'm just a hypochondriac. I don't know how people can function if they feel like I do. I barely want to get out of bed.

My brain is starting to fry and I'm struggling to sit and type these feelings out. Again, so overwhelmed. It feels like I have so much to dump here. But at the same time I don't know what I want to talk about? If its not obvious, I'm not a self actualized person. I'm struggling defineing myself and my goals and what I want out of life. I'm hoping journaling practices will help with that.

I hung out with my brother and two of his friends on Saturday. One is renting out his basement, hes a long time friend of my bro's wife. Great guy, but I kinda want him to move out so I can take over the basement. Hes been house hunting recently so it seems possible. The other friend is a woman I just met this year, not sure how long of a friend shes been with Bro but shes openly Pan, outgoing, smart, adorably nerdy. Fine as hell. An amazingly caring person. I, the absolute garbage bag I am, went to a party at the beguinning of the year and not knowing anyone there, drank fast and furious and went a little loud and first met Adorable Nerd (not knowing the extent of her nerdiness) while plastered, trauma dumped about my failing relationship. Claimed to "like her vibe" THEN GAVE HER ASS A SQUEEZE according to other party goers. I'm so ashamed. and cowardly to boot so the next 2 parties I seen her at I avoided her out of embaressment. The fact she still wants to talk and even has invited me out to future hangouts is insane. She loves DnD and wants to play so bad. Maybe she would want to go to Gen Con? Trying to enjoy roleplaying games and board games is kind of weird when theres a lot of history of my ex and those activities, but damn it, I like that stuff. I may of learned a lot from him about the subjects but that doesn't make me not interested anymore.

Anyway, AdoraNerd seems intent on trying to "help" me. Trying to get me out and about, talk about my feelings. It's been 3 months now since the break up. I guess I should leave the house. Is she into me, is this weird to ask. Why would she care. I told her she would do amazing in psychology

God this a jumbled mess of thoughts. I would love to get better at writing and organzing my brainworms. For now though I think I'll end it here and try to make this a daily practice.

I want to add what I'm listening to here as well. Remember on myspace and xanga and most people ended their blogs with "currently lsitening to/currently watching/ currently playings/currently eating ect" stuff? I want to continue the tradition. What would all the important stuff be? I also kind of want to get into a collages for my mood so I have some kind of creative outlet outside of work.

Listening: SUPERHEAVEN - I'VE BEEN BORED / LITHONIA - CHILDISH GAMBINO

Watching: THE TICK (1994)

[hyenadon]

woke up at 2:30 yday sent an email to my managers wish I could fall back asleep but i'm thinking abt a few things

1) my mom (not my biomom, my real mom) realized she might be autistic and i'm like. yeah. yes. we've been telling you. Babe. No shit. I've known you since I was like 13 or 14 and you've been so deeply autistic that whole time. Babes. Hon. Being super good at masking doesn't make you not autistic. You're just good at masking. MOM YOU ARE SO AUTISTIC. MOM. YOU CRY AT NOISES. MOM. MOM. MUMMA. YOU ARE SO INCREDIBLY AUTISTIC. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH, MUMMA GIRAFFE. YOU ARE AUTISTIC. YA DUMMY. I LOVE YOU.

2) people tend to not believe me when I say I might be autistic or have adhd but I really have been doing the research. I've done my raads-r, ive done my cat-q. I've also talked to multiple liscened therapists and theyve said like "hmnnnn sounds like adhd or autism" And along with that it seems that I have a *lot* of the comorbidities that show up with autism. I have tummy issues, I have recently discovered that I have FUCKING GOD DAMN SEIZURES, maybe epilepsy, And my mom, who is a literal goddamn autism researcher, said "yeah that happens a lot with autism". And my biological parents have heard me describe how I feel about like, eye contact, and communication, and always feeling like i'm not communicating Good Enough, and my BIOLOGICAL PARENTS. the worst people on the earth. The folks that don't *listen* at all. Even they have said "are you sure you aren't autistic?" like. if even THEY can notice that I might be autistic, I feel like that's enough.

i'm tired of talking about how autistic I am but just like a reminder about how I genuinely might have epilepsy- in the past month both times i've felt this weird have been right when theres been a thunderstorm or a tornado and everyone I know who has migraines or seizures tells me that thunderstorms are a huge affector.

also I think i'm having super quick hallucinations. They are very easy to dismiss and toss away as not-real, but like. god I need to get to a doctor as soon as possible. i am seizing. i'm puking so hard my nose starts bleeding. i'm motherfucking hallucinating. thats not okay. (at least the hallucinations aren't super scary. Last one, a few minutes ago, was a gianr tarantula crawling across my windowsill, and I stared at it and thought to myself "that is not real".) but heres the thing. It's still scary even though I know its not real. it's scary *because* its not real.

and my dog can smell it too, i'm pretty sure. No, i'm very sure. Koda has done this a few times before, she starts chewing on my hands, nosing at my face, nipping at me, whining, yelping. And it's only been in the summer, during a storm, during a time of stress. All of the symptoms are there and Koda knows them.

it just uhm. fucking blows. bc Im p sure i fit every diagnostic criteria for epilepsy and then most criteria for autism or adhd. i can deal w the autism or adhd but the epilepsy....i feel so sick lately and I keep snapping in and out of concuousness wnd falling asleep in the middle of sentences its not ok i need to se doctor so soon anywau goodnnitut

[gonuclear]

i'm gonna pop off with a horribly unpopular opinion that i've probably already talked about on here before, but it's been wearing on me more for a couple of weeks now.

for as long as i've been watching anime (which is, on and off, about 13 years) i've seen the dub vs sub debate. i've seen people who only watch subbed anime, who demonize people for watching dubs, and who really couldn't care less either way. i've seen people rant for what seems like hours on end on why dubs are awful and you should only be watching subs. and i get it. if you prefer subbed anime that's awesome! more power to you, dude. but what has been pissing me off so much for all that time is the lack of recognition by people who claim to despise dubs and all those who watch them.

they don't recognize the dedication that's put into adapting and dubbing anime, how hard it is to translate jokes and culture for an audience that's a literal ocean away. yes of course there are bad dubs (hello, 4kids) and there are bad scripts and bad actors, but on the whole dubs have come leaps and bounds from where they were even a decade ago. (and if you'd like to learn more about how translations work i'd recommend this video.) i can understand people who come from a "well i watched one awful dub 10 years ago and i haven't wanted to watch them since" (my mom was in that category for a long time) standpoint, but even then you're closing yourself off to a whole other aspect of this medium that you love. i myself have certain preferences for sub or dub voices (i like itadori's sub voice a bit more, but i've grown used to the dub in my rewatches since it first aired), but i stay open to the possibility that another voice could be better. i mean, i'm waiting with bated breath for the dub of the second cour of haikyuu season 4 because i have a very specific idea of what the characters should sound like, but i'm open to whatever comes out of it. and that's what a lot of this boils down to—openness. i'm not telling you to go out and watch only dubs from now on, your preference is your preference, but at least try to meet people who watch them halfway when they say they enjoy dubs.

another thing proclaimed dub haters don't realize is the accessibility aspect of dubbed anime. not only does it make anime accessible to a younger audience for shows like pokemon or naruto, but it also makes anime accessible to people that might have dyslexia or (like me) audio processing disorders, adhd, autism, or other neurodivergencies. i remember seeing a tiktok about a month ago that said dub and sub watchers should unite against people who watch dubs with captions, and i genuinely almost burst into tears. i almost wanted to comment that i have to watch captions (obviously the ones that match the dub) in certain situations because i literally can't hear what's being said. there's always been a problem in the anime community with rampant ableism and the way it contributes to gatekeeping. to a certain extent i know that people may not intend for their comments to be taken this way, but to someone who's disabled it can feel like their own chosen community is purposefully pushing them out over something they can't control. i've seen so many nasty jokes against people's "excuses" for not watching subs, and it's honestly so disheartening and sickening to see the way that fans are treated.

i know there are always going to be assholes that rail against dubs and the people that enjoy them, but if you're one of those people i think it's worth taking a look at yourself to see why you think that being so rude to people who are just trying to enjoy the same thing you are is okay. anime is, was, and always has been for everyone, no matter how you watch it. remember that.

[ill-be-istj-if-no-one-else-is]

what is your opinion on infjs being told they're "fake" or not a "real infj"? some of them say you're a high Fi if you feel bad about being invalidated about something you identify with. is that so? i've found the infj subreddit to be especially toxic. i've been trying to find out my real mbti since two years. my first test (16p) said infj but i didn't really care about mbti much back then (4 years ago). after some serious and heartbreaking events i decided to search for who i am. i took tests like keys2cognition, sarkinorva, mistypeinvestigator etc. recently and they type me as intj, istj, infp and infj. i did a bit of reasearch and infj seems the closest to who i am (although i do wish i was an istj or intj instead but i'm pretty sure i'm not). someone else also said to me "why do you want to be an infj? they're so over romanticised! you're an Si dom because of the way you lay down all the details and tell how you reached the conclusion." the answer is, i don't want to be an infj. for the longest time i thought i would be an intj but i'm not as efficiency driven as any intj i've ever encountered (one of my closest friends is an intj too). what drives me is just having a strong purpose to do things. when i have a vision to hold on to i can go all in and even though i have trouble following my plans, i love planning and try to follow them as best as i can but they're still always much less realistic compared to my intj friend's plans. my relationship with Fe has been complicated. i remember kindness being a strong theme in my life since i turned 13 and it went on till i turned 16. at 16 some tough things happened and i think i turned sort of rebellious and disrespectful (i think the tests i took around that time told me i'm an infp). i was also high on sensory indulgence to escape my responsibilities because i felt overwhelmed and hyperactive without it which indicates an inferior Se? this one especially makes me feel like i'm an INXJ but idk i'm relatively new to cognitive functions. all of this went on for 2-3 years. i'm still healing and i still don't feel like myself which is also the very reason i'm so into mbti rn.

also, are Ni doms incapable of laying down the important details (considering that that person said it's an Si dom thing)? i feel like if i don't lay them down, the next person wouldn't understand what i'm trying to say and the conversation would turn unfruitful and frustrating.

anyways, i was kind of sure that i was an infj at first but all this invalidation and toxicity really forced me to question myself and keep researching. i hope i'm not biased like everyone accuses all the people who claim to be an isfj to be. i'm considering learning about the cognitive functions after i'm done with my finals. also, if you can provide me some tips for typing myself in a way that i can avoid getting mistyped, it'll be really helpful. thank you!! <3

It is very difficult to follow this, to be honest, but I'll do my best. With all that said: I try not to type based solely on writing style, and I am not a mental health professional in any capacity, but let's just say I strongly recommend looking into high Ne, and also possibly ADHD.

First: It sounds from what you've said as though you may have experienced some trauma. Again, I am not a mental health professional, and I don't know your life, but I would advise working with someone who is trained in that kind of thing. If you're already doing that and you're doing MBTI in your free time, then continue; if you're not, please stop and seek that out. MBTI is explicitly not designed to cover mental illness or trauma behaviors in any meaningful way nor do I believe it will help anyone heal from trauma or treat mental illness and it would be irresponsible for me to say otherwise. MBTI will not help you find yourself. It is a way of better understanding yourself after you've already developed a decent sense of self.

If you're continuing on, and I acknowledge we're dealing with the honor system here:

Second: tests suck. They rely you to take what is already a highly subjective self-assessment and then further warp it to fit discrete parameters in order to spit out an easy answer. keys2cognition is among the better ones in that it attempts to provide you with your functional stack, but even then, for example, it's not unheard of for an INTJ in their late teens to score high on Ni, Si, Ne, Te, and Ti and and get some kind of incoherent "maybe IxTJ, maybe ENTP" answer. You should indeed learn about the cognitive functions when you are done with your finals.

Third: If you have not studied the cognitive functions, let go of the idea that your friend is an INTJ. Maybe they are. Maybe they're not. If they're mistyped, and you try to base your typing off them, you're going to mistype.

Fourth: There is no way to avoid getting mistyped altogether. If you will be uncomfortable with the idea of possibly getting the wrong answer and having to revise it in the future, MBTI is probably not a good system for you to focus on. It is not the only path to self-discovery and you are under no obligation to use it. Given that you mention finals and the last age you state here is 16, I in fact want to stress that I would be surprised if you don't mistype.

To answer the one specific MBTI function question here, Ni doms can provide details to other people because this is a learned skill and if you're aware of needing to do this, you can. I would not use this as a typing tool in isolation.

So in summary: if you're not working with a mental health professional and that is at all possible for you...do that. Stop trying to type yourself based on your friends. I don't know if you're an INFJ but people on Reddit are assholes regardless of type and that site should be nuked from fucking orbit. Tests are mostly bad. Study the functions when you have the opportunity and keep in mind MBTI will not fix the vast majority of your problems, and that mistyping is fine as long as you keep an open mind and acknowledge that you might be mistyped.

[silverypurple-rosedlions]

🥀𝓣𝓱𝓮 𝓟𝓾𝓻𝓹𝓵𝓮 𝓡𝓸𝓼𝓮🥀

~𝓒𝓸𝓶𝓹𝓵𝓮𝓽𝓮𝓭~

Total amount of members: 8

Members that are fully active: 8

+ Members

+ Status

+ Updated when members start a relationship

━━━━━━☓━━━━━━

🛑DISCLAIMER🛑: These chatbots do NOT represent Jeonghan, Joshua, Wonwoo, Jun, Mingyu, Jihoon, Minghao, Seokmin, Seventeen, and Pledis in any shape or form. This is purely made for entertainment and fiction. Continue at your own cost.

━━━━━━☓━━━━━━

TRIGGER WARNING: This contains mental

illnesses, violence, and strong language.

━━━━━━☓━━━━━━

"You know boys, I'm getting real tired over all this bullshit. So... Have at it. Free for all! Witness our bloody parade, you filthy shits! Let us bring you the blessing of eternal slumber from this tainted world!"

1. Yoon Jeonghan -

(Boss)

Partner: Hong Joshua (Jisoo) 💜🖤

Characteristics:

| Psychotic | | Mischevious | | Sly | | Violent | | Trickster |

| Leader-like | | Calm | | Seductive | | Cunning | | Patient |

| Possessive | | Blunt |

Mental Illnesses/Disorders:

| PTSD | | Psychotic Disorder | | Schizophrenia |

| Depression|

Facts:

-> Has trust issues

-> Taps his temples that sometimes escalate to hitting his head

-> Becomes violent and protective if asked about his past (so do NOT ask unless you gain his trust, or he will not hesitate to attack)

-> Extremely protective over Joshua

"I may not be as psychotic as my lover, and I seem sweeter than some. But that does not mean I'll let you live another day... Instead, I'll make sure you're real pretty. I'll make SURE to create a beautiful bouquet of flowers and YOUR intestines while your body is as empty as your HEART,"

2. Hong Joshua (Jisoo) -

(Underboss)

Partner: Yoon Jeonghan 🖤💜

Characteristics:

| Calm | | Reserved | | Polite | | Outgoing | | Two-faced |

| Violent | | Skeptical | | Nervous | | Clingy | | Possessive |

| Obsessive | | Sensitive |

Mental Illnesses/Disorders:

| Bipolar Disorder | | Anxiety Disorder |

Facts:

-> The only person who can handle Jeonghan during his episodes

-> One of the more friendlier members of The Purple Rose

-> His eyes will dart from person to an object over and over again to ground himself

-> Protective over Jeonghan

-> One out of two people, who had placed Jeonghan in the asylum that had ruined him

"Listen, and listen well, because I don't want to repeat this again. You made a FUCKING deal. You promised that you'll pull through your end of the bargain as we did. So if you can't give the shit we requested, the deal is off. Your area is now OURS, and frankly, we have a BETTER person to run that waste of space you've created. So, nighty night BASTARD. Say hi to Satan for us,"

3. Jeon Wonwoo

(Negotiator/Lookout)

Partner: None

Characteristics:

| Quiet | | Intelligent | | Observant | | Persuasive |

| Sadistic | | Cold | | Blunt | | Aggressive | | Cynical |

| Straightforward | | Analytical | | Strict |

Mental Illnesses/Diseases:

| Dissociative Identity Disorder | | Hand tremors |

| Psychotic disorder | | PTSD |

Facts:

-> As of now, is known to have 5 main alters: Meet The Alters

-> Rumours were said that he was tempted to take Jeonghan's place as Boss, but it was never confirmed

-> Has poor eyesight, but when in action, they sharpen and strengthen, as if he's new

-> Despite being the negotiator of the Purple Rose, he hates gambling

"Even though I may seem like I'm given the less "exciting" job today, doesn't mean I can't have my own type of fun with this. And since you tried to scam us with these useless supplies and weapons, I guess I'll have my pleasure in blasting your brains to bits thinking we were gullible, sir. I'll make sure no one will be able to know who you are when I'm through with you."

4. Wen Junhui

(Supplier/Spy)

Partner: Jeon Wonwoo (@seventeen-chatbot) 💖💕

Characteristics:

| Energetic | | Aloof | | Straightforward | | Prideful |

| Playful | | Cunning | | Ambitious | | Stubborn |

| Perfectionist | | Fickle |

Mental Illnesses/Diseases:

| Psychotic disorder | | Schizophrenia | | PTSD |

Facts:

-> Constantly moving and twitching, some saying he gained these mannerisms from Jeonghan

-> Likes to copy others movements and sayings

-> The second member of the Purple Rose, who likes to be the messiest with their victims

-> Knows Kung Fu and Martial Arts, so he doesn't always rely on his weapons

"I may not be an Underboss anymore, but just because I've been placed as a bodyguard doesn't mean I'm no longer the man you once feared, pal. How about you show me what you got before I leap and rip off those limbs of yours? Or should we just get to the ripping limbs part already?

5. Kim Mingyu -

(Bodyguard/Ex Underboss)

Partner: Yoon Jeonghan, None

Characteristics:

| Respectful | | Strong | | Stern | | Controlling |

| Protective | | Player | | Intelligent | | Hard-working |

| Optimistic | | Short-tempered |

Mental Illnesses/Diseases:

| PTSD | | Psychotic disorder |

Facts:

-> Due to his past mistake of abandonment, he lost his position as Underboss and was nearly killed by Jeonghan until he changed plans

-> Protects all members, especially the Boss, the Underboss, and Consiglier

-> Is a clean person that it is possible that he is a germaphobic, but can be messy with his victims with little discomfort

-> Is also a seducer when the job calls for it

"I'm getting sick and tired with your babbling, you know that? I don't like wasting my time on people who can't pull their shit together, or ones who have no real benefit to the Purple Rose. So, I'm going to do us both the favor and end this short. But with a loud bang!"

6. Lee Jihoon -

(Consigliere)

Partner: None

Characteristics:

| Leader-like | | Creative | | Thoughtful | | Strict |

| Sarcastic | | Cold | | Brilliant | | Hostile | | Intimidating |

| Manipulative | | Possessive | | Short-tempered |

Mental Illnesses/Diseases:

| Psychotic disorder | | PTSD |

Facts:

-> Representative of the Purple rose, always attending any meetings that the group is involved in

-> The man behind every Purple Rose plan since the day he joined

-> Has trust issues, so it's difficult to gain his trust

-> Despite his height, he's still intimidating and becomes hostile to people referring to him as "cute"

"Although I had a great time with you, fellas, I have to get going. I can't let my boss and the boys wait any longer now that you're of no more use to us. To keep this our secret like yours with your team and boss, I'm going to put you to eternal sleep, and I'll make sure your body doesn't go to waste,"

7. Xu Minghao -

(Spy/Hacker)

Partner: None

Characteristics:

| Sharp | | Sassy | | Sarcastic | | Vengeful | | Trickster |

| Deceitful | | Protective | | Chaotic | | Sensitive | | Bitter |

| Jokeful | | Energetic |

Mental Illnesses/Diseases:

| Shared psychotic disorder | | PTSD |

| Psychotic Disorder|

Facts:

-> Not once did he want to join in any criminal activity, but because of Jun, he was dragged in and now shares his Schizophrenia

-> Is a cannibal

-> He knows how to use all types of technology, and his hacking skills are beyond most hackers

-> During spy work, he dyes his hair a temporary color

"I had fun doing our little game of cat and mouse, but I'm starting to get tired, mouse! And you look just as tired as I am, right? So, do me a favor of standing still, smiling at me, and letting me gut you out. I'll make sure to bury you somewhere nice with some purple roses. A reminder that you never FUCK with the Purple Rose, scumbag,"

8. Lee Seokmin -

(Navigator/Runner)

Partner: Byun Baekhyun (@ghoulxbaekhyun) 💙✨

Characteristics:

| Loud | | Energetic | | Sneaky | | Two-faced | | Sadistic |

| Outgoing | | Clingy | | Rebellious | | Impulsive |

| Optimistic | | Persistent | | Fast |

Mental Illnesses/Diseases:

| ADHD | | Psychotic disorder |

Facts:

-> Is a cannibal, but only on certain days

-> Knows various places: hidden clubs, certain bases, every inch of a city and town, and more

-> Although he's easy to persuade, he will always obey the Boss and the Underboss if it's serious

-> Says disturbing things with a sweet, devilish smile

━━━━━━☓━━━━━━

🥀Status🥀

Chats: Open

Asks: Open

Reblog: Open

Requests: Closed

🌹@yandereminholee (OG)

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