#i've looked up a bunch of examples and been reading through them and trying to map it out in my Head so I can hopefully

[ratcandy]

unforeseen predicament number 2: Never written dancing before, am gonna have to do that . more than once

[noneorother]

The grand unified theory of Good Omens S2, Hangs on a double meaning - Answering why .5 + .5 = 25 lazerii *The end?*

Part 1 l Part 2 l Part 3 l Part 4 l Part 5 l The end?

Welcome to the end of the Bonkers Meta Series featuring your favourite Art Director/Clue detective. This is it! I'm going to wrap up this series as well as I can with what I think really happened, the final 15 and why Crowley says the things he says. Meta, Spoilers, Beware! All that. “Armageddon only happens once, you know. They don't let you go around again until you get it right.” 

If you've read my Metatron post you'll know that I thought there were *at least* two time loops with tweaks to achieve different outcomes, seeing as we seemed to be presented with two versions of events a lot of the time, two similar lines of dialogue, double meanings for lines etc etc. If you want a really good recap of a lot of the Clues that have already been compiled already you can go through them here. Yesterday I added my own : The columns in front of the bookshop get stained by a demon, and the stain stays and goes. But why do we care?

Here's my final thesis using the context I'll put together below :

The Metatron is changing the past and the present on earth using the book of life. He's forced a time loop of the last few days at least 50 times over a period of (realtime) months to get the outcome he wants : the separation of Aziraphale and Crowley to allow him to complete the second coming. It only worked once. Let me explain.

1) Not time skips, but stitched loops

My theory about the columns goes like this : a demon touches the right column in the attack on the bookshop, and dirties it. The problem is, in every episode we get multiple versions of the column that are dirtier or cleaner. Why? Because a demon has been touching that column in *more or less* the same place and getting it dirty over time, but the effects on the bookshop only layer every loop and reset, instead of being erased. The layering aspect is super important and I'll get back to it. For now, if we take it that the column gets dirtier over many loops, we now know what we are seeing : a bunch of different time loops stitched together to create a sense of time moving forward in a way that we can understand the story, but that skip forward and backward through the loops. Cleaner column = earlier loop. Here's discussion about clock hands if you want evidence, some even saying the hour hand seems to be going backwards in the first episode or the last, or even that the minute and hour hands must be backwards to make sense. If we think of time skipping ever forward and actions getting deleted (as some have said), then clocks going backwards makes no sense. But if we think about it as a time loop where things and actions are ever being tweaked and changed, then OF COURSE the times won't make sense anymore. People don't show up at the same time if they don't do the same thing they did before. The biggest time discrepancies I've seen in a single scene are A) Crowley's phone and watch being an hour apart in S2E1 and B) Inside the bookshop between Gabriel's fly flashback in S2E6 and him and Beez holding hands, there's an hour difference on the clock. I think that by the time we get to very late loops, some things are happening up to an hour later in the day. A simple example we are shown up top is the Eccles cakes. They are there in the first part of S2E1, but then they are no longer there somewhere along the way. In the first loop we see an ordering action/receiving Eccles cakes action, which takes *longer* than just not doing that and going straight to the shop, so that loop will be slightly later. It gets infinitely more complicated the more loops you are looking at, and we have at least 50 of them. How do I know that?

2) A 25 lazerii miracle

If we know that effects on the bookshop are cumulative and don't reset (because columns), then let's try this idea on for size : Aziraphale and Crowley have been performing the same half miracles on the same spot for 50+* loops, and each times they are layering and getting stronger. .5 demon + .5 angel = .5 angelic miracle x 50*ish loops = 25 lazerii miracle goes off in heaven on the latest loop. Shax then confronts Crowley in his car about a mighty miracle, so we're in a loop here where we've layered quite a lot, but not the last loop because he still has the original glasses/ *but also* Crowley's sideburns are long. Compare it to the scene directly after, and how sunny and bright it is. We're in a later loop and and earlier loop simultaneously.

3) Crowley's been testing So I've been searching for a *reason* that Crowley wears a turtleneck in S2E2 and thren new glasses and changes sideburns, and he seems to be up to some pretty crafty spy stuff, seeing as 1) he seems thrilled by it, and 2) he won't shut up about it (How will our hero cope? Jane Austen, nasty piece of work, master spy) There's also this Clue :

Crowley has a secret, as we know everyone with their hands deliberately in their pocket does in the series. I think Crowley knows before Aziraphale that something is wrong, because he's getting little snippets of memory and feeling, and so he's going off to try and change things about himself, the Bentley and the shop to remind himself in the next loop and leave himself clues or change outcomes if he fails to escape. In the early loops it seems like a fun spy mission, but by the end he's pretty tired and jaded that he doesn't seem to be making any headway on his own.

It *also* explains him throwing books and canapés on the floor in the bookshop to see if it changes in other versions. The problem being that Gabriel keeps cleaning everything up and reorganizing the titles to Crowley can't tell if it's his system or not. (lolsob)

It makes this line seem like he can't fit the loop pieces together anymore, and is trying to make headway without any information, rather than a pre-fall reference.

And this line probably much later in the loops (New sunglasses, long sideburns) :

Okay so! To recap : Everyone gets reset every time, and they make different choices because of past and present edits. But, most heavenly and hellish things don't obey earth laws, and therefore things like miracles start layering, and memories start seeping through the loops. (Point 4 is optional but absolutely hilarious, so I'd like to think it's worth speculating about)

4. The flaw in The Metatron's plan

There's a huge flaw in The Metatron's plan however, and it's that Heaven and Hell don't work like earth does. He's spent so many loops trying to get the result he wants, that he doesn't know that something crazy is *also* happening in hell. Every loop, Shax is emptying out the legions of demons until they barely have enough low level lackeys to go up at all. Hell is understaffed because no new people come into hell in the loop from earth, and they're sending all the demons that aren't subject to the reset into battle. This isn't a negotiation, it's a montage.

So the attack on the bookshop isn't one attack, but waves, and the waves get less powerful each loop. Stitched loops would also explain why Shax now hands Crowley his mail again in the last attack after *just* handing it to him on the park bench, like, 4 days ago in an earlier loop.

I don't have evidence for this directly, but if The Metatron put Maggie together with Nina successfully only in the last few loops, then she's fighting in the bookshop only a few times, and doesn't invite the demons in any other times, which might be why the only evidence is the column, and not books being ruined. But, it might also explain why the demon Eric gets discorporated a bunch of times in a row, he's doing it later and later in each loop. (These are kind of contradictory thoughts, I know.)

5. Aziraphale realizes too late. When I wrote part 4 of this series I was pretty awed by the fact that Aziraphale managed to figure out the Metatron was rewriting things after only hearing him say ONE LINE of dialogue. However after more thought, I think that he's been getting close to the truth a bunch of times by communicating with Crowley in previous loops. In each successive loop he tells Crowley later and later, and it's been getting them reset as punishment each time they figure it out together. By the end they barely communicate at all, because they can feel the danger. Watch his reaction here, in what we can assume is a *very late or last loop (because of the time on the clock)*

He stops himself from interrupting and telling Crowley something important he's just realized : that he's seen Gabriel and Beez get together before. "I know what this means..." 6. Saraqael is helping both sides without them knowing We see Saraquael helping Crowley immediately with the trial when she finds him in heaven. Why would she help Crowley without having ever met him before as a demon? The exchange of "Crowley I remember you, we worked on the Hosehead nebula together" and "I meet a lot of people, (*he doesn't say* I don't remember you)" is a code. They are both trying to communicate what they remember like spies on a bench in St.James park. Who recognizes who, who's trying to stop this madness. Maybe once Crowley gets to heaven this time he's seen multiple trials with multiple endings, and Saraquael has seen them too, I don't really know. BUT she's also communicating with Aziraphale at one point. Look at Saraqael in this scene again about the 25 lazerii miracle. She *remembers the book slap* and then the *looks* at Aziraphale in regards to Gabriel.

Yeah Gabriel, IT NEVER F*&?%ING WORKS IN ANY LOOP SO STOP DOING IT. - Saraquel, probably. Are Saraqael and Aziraphale testing later/earlier in the loops as well? Is this when the miracle was weaker? Who knows! 7. The Metatron job offer was many, many offers

It's really hard to tell with all the pieces of the puzzle moving around, but I think I can count 7 job refusal loops by Aziraphale in the last fifteen minutes. Here's a summary 1) Chinwag with Crowley in the room 2) We should go for a walk instead, here's a coffee 3) You don't have to answer immediately 4) Go tell you friend the good news (This is the important one), it's the last one where he tries to convince Crowley to come with him 5) I need to take care of my bookshop 6) The Metatron puts Muriel in charge of the bookshop, but Aziraphale wants to take something with him 7) Aziraphale straight up runs out to Crowley with "I think I-" 4, again) The Metatron takes him out of the bookshop. "Ready to start"?

Trying to screenshot all that would be insane, so just go rewatch it with all this in mind, and look at how the lighting changes inside of the bookshop and the jump cuts to different angles, and how his face resets every time. It's HEARTBREAKING. 8. The argument

I'm so blown away by the acting and writing (as well as the art direction) in this show, and it all comes to a head in the final argument. Many important lines have double meanings in series 2, because everyone is trying to speak in secret code to not get caught. Especially in the final loops.

In the last loops, we have an Aziraphale who is moving ever closer towards accepting the Metatron's offer, with the straw that broke the camel's back being he could restore Crowley as an angel**/save him; and Crowley who is moving ever farther away, by having to hide all of his Clue gathering, and confiding less and less to Aziraphale in each loop.

Check out the double meanings going on in this whole exchange if you consider that they are trying to save each other using secret codes neither one of them can hear. It's so shattering. Especially when you consider they've probably made it to this argument at least twice, and Crowley convinced him the first time. Why do I say that, you ask? 9. No Nightingales

Because I think Crowley remembers a loop where A Nightingale Sang was playing when they kissed, and Aziraphael didn't leave, but he knows they aren't in that version anymore. 10) I'm a demon, I lied. I'll probably post more abut the secondary characters because Shax, Furfur, Michael, Uriel and Nina etc all have roles to play, but for now, this is it.

----------------------------------------- Thanks so much for reading the gigantic post. If you disagree with my thoughts, or think this is terribly wrong, that's totally fine! I won't be offended. Without a real season 3, everything is just ether. Fingers crossed. I'd also like to thank The Ineffable Detective Agency, @embracing-the-ineffable, @cobragardens, @indigovigilance, @yowlthinks and more for inspiring me and feeding my brain with posts. *Loop numbers could actually be 25+ if you think that .5 demon mircales + .5 angelic miracles pour register as 1 whole miracle in heaven, I just didn't want to go into that in the main review. **The Metatron's meddling in the past seems to me trying very much to highlight to Aziraphale how *good* and righteous Crowley is, despite being a demon, in order to convince Aziraphale that joining him in heaven is a real possibility, and he should push for it.

[callmearcturus]

a bunch of Mission Impossible fic recs

hi, i'm sorry for conning so many people into this fandom. here's some reading material.

Easy Open, by helenish

“So you and Hunt are a package deal these days,” Bryson says. “Uh,” Benji says, jerking his head up from his computer, ballpoint in his mouth.

Ethan/Benji. Definitely the first thing you should read after watching the movies. This is my favorite kind of one-shot, the kind that manages to convey the weight of history like a 60k fic in such a compressed space. When I talk about using sex scenes to convey something about the characters, perfect example is the set dressing around the one here where the title drop happens. Way to say so fucking much about the characters through sheer implication.

in the details, by helenish

Ethan: We have an even bigger problem. Ilsa. Benji: Ilsa. Our Ilsa? —Mission: Impossible — Fallout (Paramount Pictures, 2018)

Ethan/Benji/Ilsa. This one is so fucking dense and amazing. I love the way Ethan is just so fucking in love with both of these people and keeps imagining them fucking and feels terrible about it, you just want Benji and Ilsa to put Ethan out of his misery, but ALSO this is hardcore physicality porn. The scene with Ilsa on Benji's shoulders is better than any sex scene I've read this year.

I'm With You, by fictionallemons

Luther's getting married again at a private resort on a tropical island. Only there's a mixup with the rooms and Benji and Ethan have to share. No big deal, right? One bed. Two friends. No problem. Ha.

Ethan/Benji. I keep rereading this one because it just has such intense longing and familiarity in it. The way it portrays Ethan and Benji as a unit, a foregone conclusion even they themselves haven't quite figured that out, is perfect. Also I love the way Ethan handles the bed situation, the low grade annoyance he has at the repeated question. Benji, get a clue, my man.

Someone New, by fictionallemons

After Fallout, Benji thinks Ethan and Ilsa are together and he only wants to be happy for them, even it kills him to see Ethan with someone else. He's got to try to get over Ethan. But some things are just impossible. Mutual jealousy, mutual pining, cute texting, and a happy ending, of course.

Ethan/Benji. LOOK, THE WAY TO MY HEART IS ETHAN BEING JEALOUS AND NOT HANDLING IT WELL. Also the fact this fic acknowledges Ethan's emotional growth from Fallout, chef's kiss. But really the moment when Ilsa's like "Seems we missed the show" and Ethan says "I wish we had" ETHAN OH MY GOD. Also the subtle way Benji is needling Ethan a little, subconsciously at least-- it's good!

it takes a lot (to know a man), by thistableforone

"So I just… want to remind myself that we're alright." He says it like that, with a general we that sounds more like a specific you. And because Ethan does know what it feels like, he doesn't question him any further. If Benji needs to spend time with him to feel better, he won't deny him. Takes place after Fallout. Ethan is recovering and Benji goes to live with him to help

Ethan/Benji. A longer one, hell yeah. This one truly wallows in the aftermath of Fallout, which is where my brain lives 90% of the time, so I appreciate it. Also Ilsa pointing out why the fuck did Luther give her that speech but not Benji-- finally someone said it. But really this fic is about Benji and it breaks my heart.

magnetic field being a little too strong, by oopshidaisy

“This is strictly recon,” Ethan says. It’s maybe the seventeenth time he’s said words to this effect since they arrived at the party. “We can’t do anything that’ll raise suspicion. Understand?” Post-Rogue Nation. Benji and Ethan go undercover and find themselves in one of those spy jams that only surprise kissing can solve.

Ethan/Benji. This is the one with the INCREDIBLE passage about Benji realizing why Ethan's never been slapped for pulling the fake kissing thing on missions. Also I love how... this feels like a date. To Ethan, this is a fun mission with his Benji, and it feels like it. Benji's voice here is pitch perfect, feels like its right out of Rogue Nation.

The Missionary Position, by matchsticks

Ethan and Benji have to pretend to be a married couple for a mission. Well, Ethan and Benji are already a married couple, but now they have to pretend to be pretending to be a married couple for a mission, and the rest of the team has to help them keep their secret. It'll definitely all work out fine. Probably. Hopefully.

Ethan/Benji. Listen. This one is hilarious.

THERE, there's some stuff to get you started, folks! and you can always hit up mine. I have periphery (in which everyone Benji works with is a little in love with him and Ethan just doesn't deal well), all i need is a certain trigger (in which Ilsa and Benji are in the Syndicate and Ethan trips into romancing them both), and the big AU you'll need a new name to survive this (in which Benji is Ethan's physical therapist and a lot of things start to change)

Looking over all this, it seems my favorite thing is when Ethan is just unhinged and Benji is unfortunately into that.

[baskeigh-ball]

Ignoring the fact that ibis had the ai paint feature a couple years before this whole ai fiasco, after seeing your post, I decided to try it out to see if it really held up. I already knew what you said made no sense, as even stuff like ai painting requires heavy human input that isn't just someone typing a prompt in a thing and looking through thousands of images and somehow still calling it 'art'. Really, it's just some weird advanced bucket.

The ibis ai paint... really sucks. I'm pretty sure it hasn't even been touched since it was added. No matter what I did, I got random colours and whatever colours I had put there looked like it were from a filter, not to mention how my lineart bled everywhere like it was blurred out.

Ibis isn't problematic for adding that feature as not only was it added ages ago, but it was also just a gimmick only added because a few more popular paid programs added them, like Clip Studio Paint. I highly doubt even the company took it seriously considering how poorly built it is. This is actually the one time I'm glad some feature in an app sucks so much.

Another reason why ibis isn't problematic by the mere feature alone is that, when you look at the artists making content during the time of that update, it was received with humour. It was something fun to try, but ultimately dismissed for actual artwork, as nobody would use it to fully paint their works. Nowadays we see something slapped with the words 'ai' and think that it's instantly bad due to the latest issues with it and big corperations/ certain production companies but it isn't. It's just a lot of people abusing what was previously some fun gimmick, which it can still be, and for certain apps, still is. Nobody throws pitchforks at character ai, after all.

You can tell just by the size of this that I'm procrastinating on something. Ima go and let this rot away in your askbox now lol

You really thought this would fade away in my ask box, mwahahaha /j

I wanna start off by saying thank you for holding me accountable, I will admit that I got buzzworded pretty hard in this situation lmao

This information came as a surprise to me-- I was seeing posts pop up within the past week complaining about the ai feature on ibis, so I assumed it was recent. As it turns out, after reading your ask, I discovered that I got a few wires crossed! Because yes, the auto paint feature I referred to in my post has been around for years now, and was never taken seriously anyways

So that was my bad (and yea ur right it's completely unusable, lmao)

But as it turns out, the feature that people have been complaining about DID come out recently. It was called the AI Example feature, I think the idea was that you make a simple drawing and the AI adds 99% of the detail and color, which I've seen a bunch of other programs do.

...and then it was immediately removed due to some pretty major backlash, which, duh

^ This is the only evidence I can find of the 11.2.0 update that included the AI feature on the actual site; their update history stops at 11.1.0. But there's also the news page about the removal of the update, so it's not like they're trying to pretend it never happened.

So tl;dr, I jumped on the hate train a little too quickly and never did enough research to figure out what the actual update was, and that it's been removed by now anyway (which I couldn't have known until today, ofc, but i did kinda post that thing about ibis today so it's still a pretty major oopsie)

I think I can say with confidence now that I agree, ibis paint isn't problematic to use-- they made a mistake with this update, but they actually listened to their users and removed it LITERALLY the next day. So, thanks for letting me know! I'll also edit my last post to prevent any misinformation, just in case people make the same mistake I did :]

[gffa]

hiya! long time listener, first time caller-- I'm writing a couple fics with Jedi protagonists (Shaak Ti, Mace, other Prequel Jedi) which is really fun so far except for the part where I "majored in" (read: hyperfixated on) Organization and Tactics of the GAR and don't actually know that much about the Jedi as individuals, *especially* anything that happened before TPM.

I was wondering if you know of any resources that organize/compile information about that era of Jedi? Things like lineage lists, who was on the Council when, typical schedules/roles/responsibilities, that kinda thing. Resources can be any format; other Tumblr blogs, articles, images, discord servers, archived websites, whatever works! Even the obvious stuff can be helpful (outside of Wookiepedia), since this isn't a part of fandom I've walked through much. You're the only big-name Jedi blog I know.

(If you don't have the spoons to respond, I understand, thanks for reading anyway!)

Hi! Congrats on writing your fic, I'm wishing you all the luck in the world! And here's where my brain starts spinning in a bunch of different directions, because here's the sticky thing about Star Wars "lore": there are three separate continuities and, while you are absolutely free to mix and match as you like and should pick out all the things that interest you, no matter the continuity, they do still exist in separate realms. You have Lucas' Star Wars, you have Legends Star Wars (the Extended Universe/EU under Lucas' ownership of SW, but he has explicitly said it's a separate world from his Star Wars), and you have Disney Star Wars. There is worldbuilding in each of them (though, often very thin on the ground at times) but what's true in one isn't going to be true in another--for example, in Legends there was an age cut off for Jedi initiates at 13, if they didn't get a Master. This limit does not exist at all in Lucas' SW (is contradicted by Ahsoka at 14 being said to be YOUNG for being a Padawan) and Disney Star Wars (there's an Initiate who is 16 and doesn't have a Master and will have to wait at least another year to try again, with no hint of them aging out). You pick which works for you! Just that I think it helps to be aware of what bits come from which continuity. There's also not a ton of pre-TPM content, at least not after The High Republic! Though, I've found THR stuff generally pretty helpful for prequel-era Jedi stuff, because they act and behave 98% of the same way imo! THAT SAID, I tend to collate as much of the Lucas continuity and Disney continuity (as they're the ones I generally prefer) and I have a bunch of resources if you don't mind some homework reading! 😂 I did at least make it as easy to browse as I can, though! - Jedi Culture and Teachings in Canon - A mix of Lucas and Disney content mostly, organized by sections for hopefully easier browsing for what you're looking for! Because 75k words of citations is a lot. orz This is going to give you probably the most of what you want, because I have been working to collect all of that kind of stuff--descriptions of the Temple and personal quarters, any rituals they have, how a Jedi's day is structured, what different paths and roles are common with Jedi, all the Jedi philosophy, what kind of pets they have, etc. It's in three (so far) parts, so you'll have to browse through each of them, but the set-up is the same in each one, so if you find a section that you need the info on, just Ctrl+F to find it in the next part or skip to the same chapter, they're the same template for each! - My "reference" tag - Which is a mixed bag of various posts and different continuities (primarily Lucas + Disney, though) that organize this kind of thing, like a possible in-universe calendar system [also here], a collection of worldbuilding bits specific to Padawan, which was pre-TPM, crossection of the Jedi Temple, a Jedi Council seating arrangement chart through the years, a list of the handful of Master&Apprentice match-ups that we know, a list of "what kind of swearing do people of the galaxy do?" because it's hilarious, a compilation of everything I could find about Jedi healers in ANY continuity, etc. I hope this helps and if you have any other questions (or anyone else wants to suggest other resources!), feel free to ask, I might be able to better steer you if you have a specific question--or at least tell you that I don't think we have anything on that. AND ALSO just remember: the books and games and comics are pretty low on the "hard canon" level, the movies and the TV shows are the highest level of canon, everything else is supplementary and you do NOT have to scour every inch of it if you don't want to! Relax and have fun with it as best you can. <3

[copperbadge]

Have we found a tumblr replacement yet? Apparently the latest “live” shenanigans were the thing that it took to break me. I’m not trying to stir shit, I’m just mostly here for you and a couple other blogs, so I’m going wherever you go.

I wish, but unfortunately not so far. I mean, I've talked a little about how I'd like to find one but there aren't really any viable ones right now, and there may not be a fandom mass-migration for years still. I'm more likely to follow the crowd than blaze a trail in this case, so it may be some time. For now my only real tactic is to simply not engage with staff or support at Tumblr in any way, and accept the changes as gradual steps towards the site's demise with as much serenity as I can muster.

I've already accidentally opened Tumblr Live twice while trying to navigate the app, which I'm sure is intentional, given I've now suddenly opened Tumblr Live twice since its inception instead of Zero. Relatedly, I would love to see them redirect that passion into making the "Mute Notifications" button actually work, but mine is not to reason why.

Anyway. There are options available, like obviously there are other social media platforms, but none have quite the combination of "easy to use" and "has a lot of people on it" and "Offers the same functionality" (photo and video hosting, an app, etc) even with an "ease of use" and "functionality" that are as crap as Tumblr's.

For example, Dreamwidth is great, but it's a Livejournal code fork so it's a very different format from Tumblr, more labor-intensive to make and share posts (no reblog function, image embedding can get a bit complicated, etc). CoHost is new and very promising but a bit of a ghost town right now -- I'm there and I've had a bunch of people find me there but still exponentially less than are on Tumblr. Pillowfort I still need to re-investigate; I'm there as well but it's been a while since I looked in, and I was struggling with the functionality previously. I had a look at Mastodon, but as positive as decentralized servers could be for the future of social media, I actively dislike the idea, and it also seems difficult to set up and complex to maintain. Discord is....there, and a lot of fandom stuff has shifted there, but its structure is very different and it's also decentralized, and also I hate it passionately and refuse to use it, so that's a no-go for me, though I suspect it's where fandom might end up.

If you're struggling with accessing tumblr directly, you might consider feeding the blogs you follow to an RSS reader -- I know people who do that and find it pretty functional, because then if they want to comment they can just pop open the specific post and deal with it directly. I don't know how much you know about RSS and I don't have the energy to fully explain it right now, but NetVibes is a pretty decent free RSS reader and it's what I use for certain blogs outside of Tumblr.

In any case, if I do find a place, or if I see the migration beginning, I'll sound the alarm :) In the meantime I'm still reading through my tumblr, stashing away posts to save off when I leave, even if that'll be a while.

[magpiefngrl]

20 Questions for Writers

Thank you for the tag @hoko-onchi-writes! Great way to spend a lazy Sunday morning :)

Username: magpie_fngrl

1. How many works do you have on A03? 54

2. What’s your total Ao3 word count? 392,045

3. What fandoms do you write for? I've mostly written drarry. I'd started as a pynch writer (TRC) and lately I've written a bunch in other fandoms.

4. What are your top five fics by kudos? all drarry:

dirtynumbangelboy

The Miseducation of Draco Malfoy

The Full Monty

Through the Looking Glass and What Draco Found There,

9 ½ Days

5. Do you respond to comments? I do my best. I made a decision back when I posted a lot of stuff and got more comments than I could handle that I would only reply to the comments on the last chapter of a multi-chapter fic. Other than that, I try my best to reply to everyone.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? I wrote a Major Character Death fic (The Death You Carry). Can't get angstier than that.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? Most of my fics end happy, but now that I think of it they're mostly HFN in romance-genre speak. Happy For Now aka the fic ends with them as a couple, kissing or touching for example, the Ever After is implied but not explicit. Two fics which end with H/D living together, and thus more committed to each other, are Hush, darling and The Boy Who Died. These are also angstier than my other fics, which makes the happy ending sweeter imo.

8. Do you get hate on fics? Not hate per se. I've received demanding comments ("Can you write more? Another sex scene? And make it mpreg?") or comments like "I like your story but I can't read on because you have X topping". Not hate. There was a time, though, that I got several comments about how stupid/annoying/an arsehole Harry is, which reflect an attitude I used to see in fandom, where Draco is perfect and Harry is a bumbling fool and the minute he says something sharp to Draco he becomes an arsehole and should be screamed at. Needless to say, I hate this kind of interpretation. I deleted a couple of these comments, I just couldn't have them on my page. It was the reason I de-activated comments on all my fics for some time.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? The sexy kind, I hope LOL

Serious answer: I have written explicit sex scenes, although I tend to be more vague rather than write a play-by-play description of what is happening. I mean, there is some of that, but not as detailed as it can be. I don't know how to explain it better in English, sorry. Anyhow, I love sex scenes, I love reading them, I enjoy the challenge of writing them, and I think what I like best in what I read (and thus I try to emulate) is when a sex scene reveals the emotional state of these two people rather than just say whose dick does what.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written? I haven't! A couple of years ago I got a few asks about wangxian and drarry meeting up and although it was fun to reply to the asks and imagine how it would take place, I don't think I'll ever write it.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? Someone screenshot dnab and posted it on instagram. The whole 40k fic. If there have been others, I don't know.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? Yes, a few.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? I haven't and I'm not sure I could. I don't think my writing process would lead to successful collaborations. If I were to imagine it, the easiest for me would be that each writer has their own POV (I'd write Draco, the other person Harry, for instance) and we'd have a general idea but not a strict outline and we'd write it like a relay race: I'd post something, they'd write the next part, then me etc.

14. What’s your all time favorite ship? I tend to move on from fandoms, so it used to be pynch, then drarry, now wangxian. I don't have a lot of time for fandom these days so I'm not as obsessed with a ship as I used to be. I love all my babies equally.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? I started a fic with a magical university of sorts, or rather 8th year but they'd be more like uni students than normal school students, and Draco was a Veela whose mate was Astoria. Not sure where it would all go, but well--it won't go anywhere now, because I have so many other WIPs that take precedent.

16. What are your writing strengths? I'm decent at dialogue and I've been told my fics have great atmosphere. Occasionally I write an unusual turn of phrase and people comment on that. My fics are fairly short, but I've been told that they have a lot more story than the reader expected because of the word count, and I think that's because I edit ruthlessly.

17. What are your writing weaknesses? Plotting is my main problem. I pants my stories and it takes me forever to figure out what happens next. I also lack confidence and doubt everything while writing, which isn't a writing weakness exactly, but it does affect my writing.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? It's cool. I like it.

19. First fandom you wrote for? The Raven Cycle. I was mad about pynch.

20. Favourite fic you’ve written? Currently 9 ½ Days but I have a very, very soft spot for The Boy Who Died.

Tagging: @lettersbyelise @lucifergraced @coriesocks @wolfpants @julcheninred @nerdherderette @lqtraintracks if they wanna!

[murphychips]

a treacherous descent into werewolf romance fiction

okay so. this story begins with me being on facebook, scrolling through videos, and getting these adverts at the end of EVERY video clip from these sites:

and i mean EVERY single one. and out of deranged curiosity i ended up clicking them and checking out their previews only to find maybe some of the more garbage i've ever had the displeasure of reading. each advert was different and each story varied, but all of them had dogshit quality.

eventually, i wondered who was making this stuff; MULTIPLE apps were being advertised to me under a bunch of different names, and all of them were centred around werewolves or mafia or billionaires. sometimes all three!

so i downloaded a couple of apps to see if i could identify an owner, but those all varied too! most don't even have websites; the app is the only thing they have. almost none of them have author names, or any way to identify the writer, and there's no way to submit to most of them. eventually, i chased up a few of these apps on reviews to find most appear to be stealing content from across the internet:

some of these are stolen from amazon, others are stolen from similar apps are cross-posted, others--as one comment says--appear to be scalping from wattpad (and likely AO3 and fanfic.net, although i'm currently trying to find examples).

HOWEVER

one app that crossed my phone was Letterlux, which does feature a submit page and appears to actually promote original work! the genres remain the same--werewolves, billionaires, mafia, etc--and so i was like alright. this appears to be a publishing outlet of SOME kind. what's the catch?

the catch is the abysmal fucking offerings:

the 'exclusive' contract here is if you do the whole 'submit a thing and they extend an offer', whereas non-exclusive is you just posting the thing. but look at the numbers! look how low they are! $450 if your story is above 200,000 words????????????????? and you have to post EVERY DAY for the update bonus; if you miss more than 4 days, you're out of the running. HOLY EXPLOITATION BATMAN. never mind that for the non-exclusive, you get a measly $250 for 200,000 words and NO update bonus. with the signing bonus of a whole $50, that's $300 for 200,000+ words: a whopping 0.0015 per word.

another app that appears to promote original work is Galatea, owned by inkitt; it appears legit in that it's been advertised by a bunch of different places, i.e. Writer's Digest, and has a fairly slick site, but reviews from users say it's a scam--a less predatory scam than usual, but still a scam.

TL;DR, if you write heterosexual steamy werewolf romance, your shit is likely making money for some company in whoknowsistan, who use microtransactions to make you pay for individual books. and i haven't even TALKED about how some of these apps have some of the most crazy IP protection i have ever seen, such as banning you for an hour if you screencap ANYTHING, and hiding recorded videos:

but despite all this, and this horrible rabbithole of novel apps i've fallen down, nothing compares to me having to read all this fiction and realising that we are ignorant to the quantities of sheer bad werewolf writing out there, so much so that i'm honestly tempted to post my own straight-bait just to see how far i can get. things that i've noticed:

all the female protagonists start off as abused or hated and are saved by some Alpha/Alpha King/Alpha Demon/idk man

sometimes the werewolf aspect is just an inner wolf who like. yells at you sometimes?

there's gamma rank werewolves?

there's DELTA rank werewolves?????????????

i honestly think i'm becoming addicted to finding out just how unhinged some of these stories get, but that is beside the point: in the end, for the love of god, don't be a dumbass and use these shady apps, and do NOT submit to places who won't even give you an entire penny per word. also, check your shit; it might have been scalped for someone else's profit. okay. ciao.

[kkbardd]

hi! popping in quickly.

I absolutely adore your artstyle and your ocs. their personalities and stories are always so interesting, and I look forward to seeing any type of art you post.

If you take a break from drawing asurei, that's completely okay!! doing things with joy is more important than just doing them. I will enjoy whatever you draw regardless— in fact, I regularly go back to that drawing of the unnamed pink haired girlfailure OC and her "friend" daily. i am mayhaps their number one fan.

please continue sharing your stories and ideas!! I adore your characters and designs so much. I am very excited for your toxic yuri freeloader/assassin story.. they are very interesting!!

also saw you did some dialogue in japanese.. do you speak it ? im quite interested in any language so.. apologies if this is off topic ><!

In any case, thank you for continuing to create. I love your art and hope you continue to draw what makes you happy and what you feel motivated to do. I love all your art regardless of subject matter!! in fact it convinced me to to start watching madoka magica :}

best wishes !! hope you're well!!

wahhh isopod !! u always send me the nicest asks when i need them most!! i hope ur doing well ~ although my last post sounded pretty depressing im actually doing pretty well too! im going to the aquarium next week w some friends so im looking forward to that more than anything >:D

I've been reading a lot of short yuri stories by Toyo Totan & Iwami Kiyoko lately and I'm excited to use that inspiration to improve some of my own OC stuff too! (I recommend 'Last Summer Vacation' !)

And yes I'm fluent in Japanese !! I'm actually an officer in my college's JP language community & I used to translate manga on the side !! I'm completely self-taught through videos though, so while my listening and speaking are fluent I actually suck at reading LOL I'm so bad that when I translated manga I'd use my camera's text to speech to do everything...

I'm a huge language nerd too! I watch a bunch of scientific videos/TED-Talks on how our brain learns languages and tips to learn things more efficiently! For example, apparently when you first start learning a language you should never try to speak it right off! If you try speaking before listening for a very long time, your brain just kinda solidifies your verbal pronunciation and it can have long-term effects on not only how you sound, but also how you HEAR sounds! This is also why some think that children learn languages better, because they spend a long time exposed to it while being non-verbal. I love this fact bc I kinda experienced it myself!

I spent about 2 years just watching JP translated videos of people speaking naturally (not videos aimed at foreigners, nor shows that have acting, more like vlog-type stuff!) and only started speaking when exposed to others who could speak it too ! Especially during COVID, I think I was pretty much spending ~80% of my day listening and thinking in Japanese so I was very immersed! And because of that, I'm a little famous in my community for having the best pronunciation 😤 Going to on a trip to Japan & translating for the people who went with me also boosted my confidence a lot! I'll never forget this guy at an izakaya who asked how many years I've been living in Osaka LOL ("three days actually!")

I think the biggest downside though is that once u learn another language, ur first language skills get bad.. i often think up half-sentences and sayings/metaphors in Jap that just sound wrong when you try to translate it back into Eng ;;; i sometimes trail off when i speaking because i forget the english word for certain things, but my friends are now just used to my weird metaphors so!

I went on such a long tangent!! But anyways!! Thank u for always sending me the sweetest asks, I always save them to my phone and I'm pretty sure all my friends know abt u bc I always show them the nice things u say 😭!! And yes!!! Madoka is so good, especially the movie so im excited ur gonna watch it!! I hope u like it!

and finally for their #1 fan <3 :

[nerdygaymormon]

Catching up with Elder Kevin Hamilton

A few days before my trip to Utah, I felt inspired to give Elder Hamilton the book which contains a chapter I wrote. I immediately had an anxiety attack, but went ahead and ordered the book, summoned up my courage, and offered the book to Elder Hamilton.

After explaining the aim of the book, he said he looks forward to it, he likes reading others' perspectives. <whew>

—————————

I mentioned Elder Hamilton's talk at BYU in January and the loud criticism it received. I asked how it felt to experience all that. He spoke about how no speech he's ever given has gotten so much attention, and that he also had people send him encouraging, supportive notes, so all in all it's fine.

—————————

We moved on and the topic of transgender people came up. Elder Hamilton quoted the Handbook that we approach trans people with "an abundance of Christlike love." That's where we start! Err on the side of love, which is the way the Savior was. From there we will sort out any issues.

He mentioned a child who is going through some gender issues, and I replied that if it's a phase, then just let them go through the phase, and if it turns out not to be a phase, then that's that.

The older he gets, the more he concludes that our job is to love everyone unconditionally, to keep the commandments to the best of our abilities, and let God reconcile all things. Everything will be made right through Christ's atonement, every hurt gets healed and every injustice corrected. We should trust that the Lord loves His children.

—————————

Elder Hamilton mentioned that he doesn't see me as an advocate, rather I'm a good listener and a good student of people. I study and observe and I'm not quick to judge. I take the longer view of things with a patience that all will work out.

Elder Hamilton brought up the test in Moroni chapter 7--that which inviteth to do good is of God. Then said that the Lord puts me in places, over and over, where I can make a difference, where I can be a force for good. He sees me try to lift others and to be a blessing to them.

We spoke of Affirmation and my new role being on the Board of Directors. He said this will open a bunch of doors for me as it will introduce me to a bunch of people and a chain of events will naturally occur. He's interested to see what happens.

—————————

Elder Hamilton says that he's heard people say that the Church pushes people out, but that's not what he sees from the Seventy, apostles or First Presidency. He's not wired in at the local level, so maybe there's some of that going on.

I responded that I have a lot of privilege in my stake, I've been in stake callings for 11 years and so I'm pretty well known. Yet I still have to deal with a few situations every year and I gave him a few examples. I know I'm treated well where I live, but these kinds of things still happen.

—————————

Elder Hamilton asked if I'm committed long term to living in Florida. I shared with him how I wound up at the university where I work at because 20 years ago it was one of the few places with partner benefits and I knew I'd be safe if they found out I'm gay. Many advances have taken place since then but it feels like we're going backwards and things are becoming less safe. Those who want to not be nice feel emboldened.

Elder Hamilton commented, "Well, Utah is an option!" and mentioned the Church's support for the Marriage Equality Act and that Salt Lake City is very gay friendly. Elder Hamilton has recently moved and his neighbors across the street are a gay couple and they've become best friends. He & his wife consider them the best neighbors in the world.

—————————

Elder Hamilton asked if I served a mission and I shared the story of praying to know if God could love someone like me, and feeling that I'm loved and "not broken."

He replied that one of the most destructive things people believe is that they are damaged goods, that I am not good enough. That's not true! All are alike unto God--black & white, bond & free, male & female, straight & gay.

—————————

One reason I share on my blog about my encounters with General Authorities is so people can see how I, a gay man, get treated. I also want to share how they talk about queer topics with someone like me.

Mostly we know these people from when they speak in General Conference. They talk about doctrine and policies, and can seem harsh. I'm treated well, even by some who have a reputation for being a hardliner. Only twice have I had a bad experience. One of them mailed me an apology, the other changed his behavior and we've become friends.

[nerdnag]

Hi Sara! You are wise and cool and I'd appreciate advice if you have any! I am trying to make friends especially with fellow autistic people in real life but it is very very hard and scary also I don't know how to find people who want friends. Do you have any advice? (Please only answer if you want to!)

Thank you Ghostly!! 🙏 You are so valid - it *is* hard and scary to make irl friends!! (... Online friends too, tbh)

I don't know if I have any helpful advice, but I'll try!

I think what's worked best for me is to meet people in contexts that are related to specific, niche interests. I'm not entirely sure I have any IRL friends anymore who are only autistic, I do have a bunch who are both autistic and have ADHD though. And all of them, I've met through various kinds of special interests.

For example, several people in my TTRPG group are neurodiverse. How did I meet them? I happened to sit next to a guy I'd never spoken to before while at a work lunch, and we got to talking fantasy books (... I don't really remember how), which got us into RPG talk, which eventually led to him asking me by the end of the lunch whether I'd like to join the TTRPG group that he and some of his friends were starting up soon. That was 3,5 years ago, and we're still playing together to this day!

Another, I met through Magic: The Gathering - we were going to the same weekend event (not related to MtG) and I saw him post in a thread about looking for people to play some games with, so I replied to him, and we pretty much clicked right away because it turned out we had lots of other similar interests as well.

A third, I got to know through playing social deception games at yet another event, in which we sort of fell into a banter-y jargon while trying to convince everyone else to vote out the other. (We were both the wild cards in every game, because I had a habit of grinning wildly and looking generally untrustworthy regardless of which role I was given, and he had an absolutely straight face regardless and was really hard to read, so we pretty quickly identified each other as friendly rivals.) Then I figured out he lived in the same city as I did, and my train was cancelled, so I used my Charisma™ to hitch a ride with him and his dad back home :D

... So based on my own experiences, it seems I've mostly met other neurodiverse people through various kinds of games, which is one of my great passions in life! Depending on what your interests are, maybe there are events, groups or such that you could be on the lookout for? Sort of like it usually happens on Tumblr I guess, but IRL it's a bit harder since you have to do more work and research to find those places and communities.

The thing is though, it will always be scary. The first time I went to play with the TTRPG group, I was super scared. I barely said anything during the first hour or so, and even after several sessions, it still took some time each time to get back into it and relax. But I always have a lot of fun while playing, and I know they appreciate having me there, so that makes it easier to relax and not worry so much. It was the same thing with the MtG friend - I rewrote that first message sooo many times, and then had a racing heart by the time I went to meet up with him. The trick for me has been to recognise when it's worth pushing through that discomfort, and try to be accepting of the fact that sometimes it won't work out, but sometimes it will; sometimes it will lead to amazing friendships, but sometimes it will fizzle out or face plant before it could even start. And that's fine.

It gets easier with time in my experience, but it never gets easy. I've sort of had to accept that I usually don't make a great first impression. It's not that I make a bad impression, I just don't think I make much of an impression at all - I probably seem more shy than I really am, and sometimes my fears make me behave really awkwardly. But after a couple times, as I start to relax and get more comfortable being myself, I think I can make a really really good impression! And I stress a little less about first impressions when I remind myself of that.

Oh, and one more thing: I've personally found that it's a lot easier to meet new people if they are there by themselves. People who already hang out in groups are much harder to approach. Because of this reason, actually, I tend to avoid going to places together with my friends if my aim is to meet new people. It means I won't have the comfort and safety of my friends with me, but it increases the likelihood that I'll approach people I wouldn't have talked to others - or that they will approach me! (The friend I met through social deception games is the opposite, though. He says the comfort of having friends with him makes him more relaxed and confident, which makes it easier for him to meet new people.)

[irrealisms]

c!wilbur + change, and the lack of it

Dream Revives Tommy - TommyVODS // You or Your Memory - The Mountain Goats // The Year I Get it Right - Brook Pridemore // Amends - Eve Tushnet // all i ever wanted was [Wilbur animatic] - WolfyTheWitch // When I Say That Loving Me Is Kind Of Like Being A Chicago Bulls Fan - Hanif Willis-Abdurraqib // Long-Exposure Photography - Google and Wikipedia // Meet the latest resurrected gentleman of L'manburg - Wilbur Soot VOD // Try to Change - Mother Mother // Night in the Woods // A Deck of Cards with a Green Smile on them - Wilbur Soot VOD // Defining Me - Motherfolk // MAG147 - Weaver // Better in the Morning - Birdtalker // happy bday c!wilbur. you havent changed but i bet you wish you did by @yuker-deactivated

[IDs under cut]

Image 1: WILBUR [I know what I’m like.] TOMMY Huh? WILBUR I know what I’m like. That’s the issue.

Image 2: As clear as day, Lord, if I make it through tonight Then I will mend my ways And walk the straight path to the end of my days

Image 3: A drawing using the YCGMA color palette of Wilbur silhouetted against a background of buildings and rubble. The closed captions read “Am I right back where I started fourteen years ago?”

Image 4: WHEN I SAY THAT LOVING ME IS KIND OF LIKE BEING A CHICAGO BULLS FAN what I mean is that my father can tell a bunch of cool stories about back in the day when I was truly great. there is a mountain of gold that has gathered dust in the corner where I used to sleep, and look at all of these pictures. in this one, I am wearing rainbow shorts and hurling rocks at a shoreline. in this one, I am smiling in the glow of 13 lit candles pushed into a sheet of dark sugar. you may ask why I allow my face to drown in less and less joy with each passing year and I will say I just woke up one day and I was a still photo in everyone else’s home but my own. or I will say I promise that my legs just need another season, and then I will be who you fell in love with again. and then I will probably just say I’m sorry that there was once a tremendous blue sky and then a decade of hard, incessant rain.

Image 5: A screenshot of the google result for long-exposure photography. There are four examples and then a blurb of text reading: Long-exposure, time-exposure, or slow-shutter photography involves using a long-duration shutter speed to sharply capture the stationary elements of images while blurring, smearing, or obscuring the moving elements. Wikipedia

Image 6: WILBUR But now, man, now, thirteen years later? I- it’s like I came full circle. I’m a new man, I’m a fresh face. Isn’t that right, Tommy? TOMMY sighs Will, I- you…

Image 7: [Verse 1] Try to change, I try to change I make a list of all the ways to change my ways But I stay the same, I stay the same, oh I will try and try to change, but I just stay the same

Images 8 and 9: Screenshots from the game Night in the Woods. Mae, an anthropomorphic cat, is asleep in bed, and Bea, an anthropomorphic crocodile, is tucking her in. Bea says "I stayed here and got older while you went off and stayed the same."

Image 10: WILBUR No, you’ve got- you’ve got it all wrong. You’ve got it all wrong, man, like- like, okay, okay. Maybe- maybe I was unpredictable in the past, but-  TOMMY [It’s really nice… ] WILBUR -I’ve turned over a new leaf, Quackity! I don’t lie anymore, I don’t-  QUACKITY [Really…?] WILBUR I don’t, you know, I don’t deceive… I don’t, I don’t I- I know nothing about TNT anymore! I’ve forgotten everything I knew about TNT! It- it’s ridiculous, I- QUACKITY Everything?

Image 11: On the precipice of nothing new Fell into question all I held as truth It seems there's holes in all my fairy tales Despite my passion to preach them well

A yell hushed after many long worn years Not a failure to launch, but to persevere Being one so close to write upon my heart A testament I've since torn apart

Image 12: What I’ve been doing to these people, it – it hasn’t been because I was puppeted, or controlled, or possessed. I wanted to do it. It felt good. But at least I know I can stop; I just – don’t know how. I – (he sighs) I don’t – want to stop. (ugh) Goddamn, this one really took it out of me. I need to go lie down. (uh) End recording.

Image 13: Stuck inside a cycle of opinions Where there's two clear ways And I always take the easy one And I'm always left with the taste in my mouth I will do better in the morning

Image 14: a comic by Yuker:

Tommy: You said “I’ve died once and I don’t want to die again.” That you’ve changed. But that was a fucking lie, wasn’t it?

Wilbur: You’re over-reacting, Tommy.”

[Wilbur hesitates putting out a cigarette, and then raises it to his mouth instead.]

Wilbur: Goddamnit.

[Wilbur sitting alone on a bench, lighting a cigarette.]

Wilbur: I don’t think I have changed after all. Fuck.

[transtalesofdoom]

Rambles about TERFs, miscommunications, and echo chambers

Accidentally looked at a TERF blog and by accidentally I mean I clicked on it and scrolled down knowing it was a TERF, and didn't leave the very moment it made me uncomfortable.

Yikes, dudes. I know algorithm-based social media creates echo chambers, but yikes. It's so sad. They call themselves feminists, and I want to believe them. I'm going to believe that they want the best for women. But they've been so misled, so caught up in their anti-trans rhetoric, they've lost the plot.

This isn't something that's exclusive to TERFs, either. Every stance, no matter how well-intentioned, will eventually turn harmful if taken to a strong enough extreme. Let's do an example I frequently fall into myself:

"Gender is such a complex spectrum that applying a norm based on genitals at birth is detrimental." I think, if we sat down and discussed this calmly, TERFs and I could agree on this. There are more ways to be a woman than just one. There are more ways to being a man than just one. Neither is abnormal for not adhering to stereotypes. (Nonbinary identities are a different talking point for now, this post is getting long enough.) "There are no cis people." This is what I say more often. To me, it's the same stance, but I've exaggerated to the point of being reductive. What I mean is the same as the above. I'm trying to say that gender is too multifaceted to compress into a binary system, that the way we've structured the system makes it impossible to find any standardized norm that doesn't exclude a majority of people. I mean to convey that gender is an experience, and no person ever has the exact same experiences in their life. If I say "There are no cis people" to my agender roommate, they know what I'm trying to say. This is because we've had similar discussions. We've gone down the path from "Gender is such a complex spectrum that applying a norm based on genitals at birth is detrimental." together. If I say it to my cis cousin, he looks at me like I've lost my mind and tells me he's worried about the online circles I've been in. He has no context for my statement. I've reached a reductive extreme. If I now go into my local (read: online) trans positive echo chamber, I can say "There are no cis people" and some folks in my echo chamber will understand what I mean and echo it. And some people will not understand what I mean, but echo it regardless. And some people will fully misunderstand what I mean and echo it. I get no pushback for the reductive wording. They don't get any pushback for their reductive wording or misunderstanding. The cycle then repeats, until the statement has completely alienated an entire demographic.

The TERF echo chamber works the same. Every echo chamber works the same. The rift between factions and their respective echo chambers widens and widens. It's near impossible to have a productive conversation with a TERF, not because we're both bad at discussing, it's because we're working on entirely different levels. I'm not going to convince someone that trans people aren't evil if they fundamentally do not believe trans people exist. I can point to as many examples of trans people doing good as I want, but if you believe that the act of being trans is an inherently malicious act of deception, that won't sway you.

I've seen a bunch of discussion between TERFs and trans allies about whether trans identities, rhetoric, people, etc are dangerous to children or women or society or whatever. And it will never get anywhere. Because one side argues that a group of people should get to exist in peace. The other side does not believe this group of people is real.

I wish I had the patience to sit down and explain to every TERF calmly and respectfully why trans people are in fact real. Talk them through the science and the experiences of trans people. Show them why misogyny and transphobia share a common root of upholding the status quo and suppressing minorities. But I don't. I don't have the strength to repeatedly advocate for my very existence. I don't have the energy to explain that my experience with gender is both scientifically backed and valid even without scientific backing. I don't have the patience to convince people that I'm not a threat to anything but the status quo, and that the status quo should be abolished.

I'm a feminist. I'm a trans. I'm a woman. I'm not a woman. All of these are exhausting. And they'd be a little less exhausting if we could stop infighting and focus on our real enemy: Ronald Reagan.

Recommended reading: my post on the connection between transphobia and misogyny.

If you've read this far, and you'd like to engage in discussion, do so respectfully. I will block anyone who completely ignores the point of this post and resorts to attacks rather than dialing it down to find common ground to work from. Good faith discussion only and from all sides. I'm not your battleground. I'm tired.

I also welcome the addition of any comprehensive, accurate, and respectful source.

[justplainwhump]

Spotted

Co-written with @hackles-up. Part of the Ridley-Dies-Arc, can be read on it's own. B and Tom (aka second bad guy) are her characters.

Dany and B's escape takes a bad turn.

[Masterlist]

Content / Warnings: BBU elements, recapture, feverish whumpee, restraints, multiple whumpees, multiple whumpers, abduction, threats of noncon.

Being the daughter of a man like my father, I've been taught quite a lot about being on the run, even though I've rarely been myself. The importance of high quality fake papers, for example, and how much further you can get if you just behave like a rich person; how with the right tip a concierge at the Ritz will surely keep you out of the books, while a dingy motel owner might sell you out for the price of a Big Mac.

It's ironic, that we have both of that - good documents and good money -, and still need to rely on the very dingy sort of accommodations. Because all I learned didn't take into account being the subjects of a nationwide manhunt for the murder of a mafia-affiliated just-not-billionaire. Or hiding a huge, broad-shouldered traumatized man with sharp titanium teeth who refuses to take off his collar.

We've slept in the car, twice, but B's fever had only become worse, and none of us had been able to close an eye.

We're at a rest stop on a highway, a small shady restaurant with a bunch of guest rooms above it. A significant share of these is most likely occupied by the prostitutes sitting at the bar right now, slightly bored because it's not yet their time of the night. It makes me feel better, in a way. Means the police aren't quite welcome here. That can only be good for us.

B has stepped away for the washroom, and I'm just studying the road map once more, when a thin man in a leather jacket slips into my booth and sits down in B's spot.

Under the table, my hand wraps around my gun. I can help myself, but it would create attention, and attention is the very last thing we need.

"Hey, sweetheart," he says, while he looks me down. Black jeans, oversized black Tee, short gloves, dark baseball cap over a short bob. I look nothing like the pictures from the wanted posters. I also look nothing like a sweetheart.

"Fuck off," I tell him. "That seat is taken."

He chuckles. "You don't even want to hear my offer?"

"Pretty sure I do not, no."

"I can get you out." He gestures roughly towards the border. "Out of the country. Friend's got an airplane, used to... unregistered cargo."

"What makes you think I want to leave?"

He laughs, points at my cap, my baggy clothes, the duffle bag between my feet. "I know the looks of people like you. And I know this place isn't exactly a spa retreat. People come here for reasons."

"Oh yeah?" With the hand above the table, I take a sip of my coke. "And say I were interested. How much would that flight be?"

The stranger tilts his head towards the restrooms. "Your... buddy back there. Built like a brick, isn't he? Seems like he can handle himself quite well."

I lift my chin in alarm, while he just leans in conspiratorially, and asks, "WRU material?"

I clench my jaw and shake my head.

"If he came back, and I said the magic word, what would he do, huh, princess?"

I can't help but tense at the pet name. At the implication.

"What would you do, huh?" He gives me a slow smile. "Wanna give it a try? Respect!"

"Fuck off." I slam my gun onto the table, trained at him, keeping my voice low. "I'm not a runaway pet, nor is my friend. I've just had some trouble with some assholes, and it didn't end well for them. If you don't want to test your luck, I think you should just walk away and forget we've ever met."

He stares at the gun and lifts his hand in a mock gesture of defeat. "Gosh, you're a flimsy one, aren't you? Alright, I'm leavin', I'm leavin'."

My heart is racing, as I watch him retreat through the front doors, looking back to me with a final mock salute.

It still does, when B returns to the table. He still looks exhausted, his eyes dull, with deep rings underneath, feverish sweat glinting on his forehead. 'Seems like he can handle himself well', the man has said. Fucking ironic, a threat within a threat.

B needs a break. And I’m not giving him one. I toss two bills onto the counter and grab the uneaten burger from the plate, before I nod at him. "We gotta go."

“Trouble?” He asks, moving in step with me as I move. All professional, all alert Guard Dog. Both of us know how much it costs him to keep it up.

"Yeah." I cast a glance around. Nobody seems to spare us any attention, but I've been fooled before. I hadn't seen the guy coming. And he must've been watching us for a while. Fuck. I'm pretty sure that I haven't convinced him. Just need to hope that he'll find easier prey. Or that we'll be gone before he returns. "Some gangster spotted us. Can't tell you what he wants exactly, he doesn't know about the bounty, but way too interested in you to be safe."

I lift the heavy bag and throw it over my shoulder. It's better if I carry it than him. He's sick; and he needs his hands free. "He left through the front door. Don't think we've seen the last of him though." I bite my lip. "Any other way out?"

B nods, indicating to his right hand side. "This way."

He makes steady determined steps past the bathrooms and towards the back entrance, almost betraying the exhaustion he must be feeling. Just as I try to let myself be fooled, too, though, he wavers for a moment, stumbling and reaching to hold himself on the wall.

I'm by his side right away, holding out my arm to steady him from the other side. He's burning, even through his clothes. His fever has become worse. A plane ride would've been just what we needed. Fucking asshole.

I rest a hand on B's hot cheek. "It's not far," I promise. "Two more days, and we can find Frankie's friends, and rest there."

I had thought about just leaving our car behind, making a run through the fields behind the rest stop, and just find someone who sells us their car for enough cash.

But B isn't even well enough to make it to the parking lot in one run. I grimace, making sure the gun is where I can reach it. I can't use any police attention. But if that's the price to pay to get B out of here safely, so be it.

Whatever that guy is up to, he's bad news; he's a threat, and he won't be any more with a bullet in his chest. I wonder for a second, if Dad would like that reasoning. He never wanted me to think that way. But there's many things about my life that he's never wanted.

"Come on, Ben," I say quietly. "We need to keep moving. You can hold on to me, alright? You can sleep in the car."

B bunches his hand into a fist against the wall, exhaling with a groan.

"Nh... No... 'M fine, Dany... I can do this." He mutters, and pushes himself off of the wall and stumbles forward, shrugging off my hand. "We can't stay here."

He pushes himself against the back door, holding it open with his body so I may slip out.

Something moves behind me. There’s a hand on my side, and cold metal pressed to the back of my head. They came from behind. Of course they did. Fuck. Fuck.

"Stay nice and still, pretty thing." someone murmurs.

I will not.

"B!" I shout, when I feel the barrel shift as he reaches around me, fumbling for my gun. I spin the other way, let the heavy duffel bag slam into his side and shoulder, while I grab my gun myself. The attacker stumbles, but catches himself too quickly, his gun in front of my face just as I bring my own up.

Fury is burning in his eyes. "You fucking... Don't fucking move or I'll put one in your knee. Sluts don't need to walk."

In front of us, B lets out a low growl. He bares his titanium teeth, taking a shaky step forward. The backdoor is still open, the night air wafting in.

"Oh no you don’t," the stranger hisses, pulling back the safety on his gun and pointing it at my leg. "I saw his collar. Tell your pet to back down or I'll shoot."

My mind is racing.

My gun is still in my hands, half way up. I could get a bullet in his chest, but he'll be faster, shooting my leg. I could kill him, but we'd never get away.

They want us alive. They want us alive, and they don't know who we are, so chances are they want us alive and not torture us to death.

Sickening as it is to admit, we'll stand better chances later. It feels like a betrayal, when I say, "Stand down, B."

B’s glare stays on the man, burning and deadly. He dropped his defensive stance immediately, though.

I don't lower my own gun.

"What do you want?"

He doesn’t reply, keeps his own gun level, while he remarks, “Impressive. It’s very responsive to you. How did you get your hands on a Guard Dog, huh? Must’ve cost a fortune. Daddy bought him for you?” He sneers.

Daddy. My hand trembles and I need my other hand to steady it and the gun. "Daddy is not in the picture any longer. And he answers to me," I reply. "What do you want? There isn't a lot to get out of us. The Guard Dog is old and sick, he isn't worth much any longer, but we can talk money." Ridley's words taste sour in my mouth. I hope B gets why I have to talk like this. They need to let us go.

The man just laughs. “Oh I wouldn’t discount you two so quickly.” He takes a step forward. “Now I need you to lower that gun and come with me. I’ll tell you all you wanna know then.”

“Don’t move…” B grits out. “We won’t go… anywhere with you.”

“Oh it talks too. Clever doggy.”

"Don't come closer," I hiss. "And don't talk to him like that. Or I'll shoot, and I won't bother aiming for the leg."

When I notice the shadowy movements behind B, it's too late. Something lowers around his neck and yanks him back.

I lose all control.

"No," I yell and stumble over towards him. "No! B!"

He’s falling, catching himself just before he hits the ground and lunges with teeth bared at his assailants, fighting the noose around his throat.

“Oh no you fucking don’t.” The man behind me is on me, grabs me in a vicious choke hold, arm pressing into my throat and kicking my legs out from underneath me to send me crashing to the ground. The gun falls from my hand, clattering across the floor behind me.

I have eyes only for the scene in front of me, the long catch pole, the noose lanyard choking B’s neck, his desperate, feverish thrashes. He’s panting for breath already.

"Stop," I shout, half sobbing. "B. Don't. Don't."

At the sound of my voice, B freezes in place.

It’s enough. The men yank back on the pole, sending him crashing into the ground.

The man behind me presses me down, pinned under his weight.

“Shhh, there’s a good girl", the stranger breathes in my ear, wrenching my arms back and fixating them with zip ties, while hissing obscenities into my hair.

Good girl.

I have betrayed B. I have betrayed myself, giving up this fight.

The man's hands are wandering over my ass. I don't care. All I care about is the man folded over on the other side of the back door, the man whom I promised to get him to safety.

My eyes are burning with tears.

I swallow back a sob.

"Don't hurt him," I whisper. "Please. Fuck me however you want to, I'll let you, but please, don't hurt him."

“Oh I think we’ll do whatever we please, sweetheart.” He murmurs, hand still firm on my ass. “We’ll take good care of your dog. Better than you have. Get it back on its feet and it’s gonna earn us a fortune in the dog fights.”

Better than you have. I can't breathe. He's right. I've almost let him die of this fever, keeping him on the run, always on his ties, never allowing us to rest.

The man who’s sat in the booth with me has stepped in outside, kneeling on B’s back.

I watch with tears in my eyes, as he pulls out a collar.

I didn't have a choice, I tell myself. I had to.

I’ve failed him, nonetheless.

I’ve failed us both.

---------

-

Tag list (this is a very old one; lmk if you want to be added or removed!): @distinctlywhumpthing @whumping-on-the-ridge @queenofthenoobs @ocean-blue-whump

[splatoon-edits]

i hope this isn't weird to ask, but I've been taking a bunch of pictures in Splatoon and I kinda want to start editing them, but I currently only have an android phone and no computer, do you have any editing apps you'd recommend? Also any tutorials on how to use them (I have like, very very minor experience in stuff like Photoshop but not much else)

hmmm well i also started out just with my phone so you should be fine!

i don't think my process was the most optimized, but i'll share it anyway.

(this is going to be under a read more since it ended up being long)

I used ibis paint x when i started out, which is a free drawing app available on pretty much every mobile device. It may take some getting used to all the buttons on there(it took me a while to learn) but i would think you could find a tutorial online for the basic functions of everything. The way i learned was by just messing with every button to see what they did and figuring it out slowly from that.

And here are the steps as to how i edited:

take the image you want to make transparent(if you don't want to make your own transparents yet mine are free to use and there are official transparent renders of certain characters as well that you can easily find on inkipedia)

just import it into your new drawing

take the eraser tool and manually erase the background.

If needed: try to redraw any parts that are missing/were obscured by other things in the image(such as items in the foreground or word bubbles if it's a manga panel). this was sort of easy for me to start to get a basic hold of since i draw already. If you don't feel confident with this, just choose an image where the character is fully visible.

In a new layer(underneath the character one), add your background.

In a new layer(above the character one) add any particle affects or the like.

You're finished!

You can also draw extra decorations (like hearts and stars) manually with the brush tool! Make sure it's on a separate layer so as not to permanently affect anything else if you decide you don't like it!

I also think canva may have a mobile app version? I have a paid version of it through someone else that i use on the website version, and i can give a tutorial for how i work in that as well. I don't know how the free version compares, but it should be pretty similar?

In canva i do the following:

select the 500x500 logo option if you want to make an icon, or another size if you want something else.

Press uploads, then upload your picture.

once you have the image you want on your canvas, click on it and select "edit photo"

choose "bg remover" and let it do its thing.

once its done loading, if there are any errors click on bg remover again and fix them with the erase and restore options.

Add a background and extra details and there you go!

I find the last step to be a lot easier in canva since it comes preloaded with a ton of options as long as you know what to look for!

Also note: i DON'T like canvas bg remover tool. it is inaccurate and kinda dumb so i would just do the transparents manually through ibis if i was you. i just dont have any other option rn. If you choose to do the transparents in ibis make sure you click "save image as transparent png" when you are downloading it so you can upload it to canva.

As for how i choose what to do and all that, i can try to explain some things that work for me.

lets use this image of dedf1sh for example:

lets say i wanted to make an icon with this. what wuld i use for backgrounds and such?

for starters: colors. Take a color that's already on the characters design/associated with them and then look for things that match that color scheme.

so some examples of that:

some other things to use would be things associated with the character. so for dedf1sh it would be subways, djs, music, the 80s aesthetic of octo expansion, sanitization, etc.

so here's how i would incorporate things like that:

but just a character and a image can (sometimes) be boring to me, so i like to add extra things as well.

theres always my tried and true: the white shape

you can use any shape and any color really, i just default to white squares a lot since i think it looks clean. variations like a neon affect can also be a fun way spruce things up a bit!

borders of all kinds also work well to add some more stuff:

and extra little shapes like hearts and stars can be fun!

and things like glitch effects, blurs, monochrome/other color filters, etc can can also make things interesting:

put all of this together with a theme and you can make some other cool things! stuff like seasons, colors, aesthetics, pride flags, and more can all be fun themes to make things around and thats how i end up with icons like these:

you can also make things that aren't icons (obviously) but i don't have as much experience with that.. i would just say to try and make sure things feel balanced when working with a bigger canvas? don't have everything cluttered up in one area. and be aware of the sizings of what you are using. you don't want things to end up being too small.

here some examples of other stuff ive done outside the 500 x 500 ratio:

and thats all i can think of to say right now!

i would work first on familiarizing yourself with whatever you choose to work in, and i would look at other people's work to get inspiration as well!

and if anyone else has any suggestions for better/more efficient ways to do any of this feel free to add on! this is just my personal process, and im sure everyone uses something different. so try new things and find what works for you!

(also i am not proofreading all this if there are problmes someone let me know)

(also also if anyone, especially the person who sent the ask, has any questions feel free to ask)

Happy creating and if you ever feel like sharing feel free to tag me!

[sindri42]

What books or graphic novels do you most frequently recommend? What are your all time favorite books or series?

That's a complicated question, and my memory is shit so I'll probably come up with a dozen better answers the moment after I hit post, but off the top of my head...

Basically everything by Seanan McGuire/Mira Grant is gold. Most of it comes in long series which are a big investment and have their ups and downs, and which will have different value to different people and mindsets, and I haven't read all of them because she just writes too damn fast, but I haven't encountered a single book from her that wasn't great. If you're looking for a one-off, Middlegame might be the best; it's about a couple of artificial people created by an ancient conspiracy attempting to attain godhood, and math, and language, and time travel, and what family means, and doing the same thing over and over thirteen thousand times in search of a better result. I'm also especially fond of Alien: Echo, which starts out as a cute little YA gay romance set in a sci-fi colony world, until halfway through you catch the name 'Weyland-Yutani' and abruptly remember which franchise the title is referencing and realize how few of these plucky teens are likely to survive to the end of the week.

You should probably read everything by Naomi Novik. The Temeraire series, starting with His Majesty's Dragon, is an alternate history of the Napoleonic Wars (officers and gentlemen, wooden ships and iron men, all that jazz) except that aerial combat is much more prominent than in our timeline, which gradually expands out into building a whole different earth exploring how numerous cultures and regions were affected by humanity not necessarily being the dominant species. The Scholomance books, starting with A Deadly Education are kind of like your standard magical boarding school, except unlike certain more famous examples of the trope actually makes sense; also it's consistently hilarious whenever it's not being horrifying as the story follows a girl who is clearly born to be an evil empress and who is very definitely not dating this stereotypical dashing hero guy, no matter how many times they save each others' lives. As standalones go, she's done Uprooted and Spinning Silver, both of which put wonderful new spins on classic fairy tale tropes and popular myths but this paragraph is already too long for me to elaborate.

The Murderbot series by Martha Wells is not only great as a sci-fi action series and as a worldbuilding exercise, but also the most realistic depiction of an anxiety disorder I've ever read. It starts with a security droid that hacked its own governor module to get the ability to disobey orders, but then because change is terrifying it continues to go through the motions of its terrible job, but now streams thousands of hours of media in the background while standing guard between crises; unfortunately, when something starts trying to kill the scientific survey team it's currently contracted out to, it discovers to its horror that it's actually starting to care about what happens to them.

Howl's Moving Castle by Diana Wynne Jones is a classic for a reason. Maybe you've seen the Miyazaki film? Doesn't matter, read the book anyway. It's a completely different story. (somebody described it to me as 'the book is what Sophie remembers, the movie is how Howl describes it after the fact')

If you're looking for books on tumblr you've probably heard of Tamsyn Muir's The Locked Tomb series by now; no need for me to elaborate on what others have said better.

Ooh, pick up Roadside Picnic by Arkady and Boris Stugatsky; it might be the greatest Soviet sci-fi novel, and has had a huge cultural impact around the world. After you read it you'll realize that you've been seeing it everywhere, not just in a whole bunch of other sci fi literature but also from video games to anime to tabletops.

Moving into things that I personally love but don't necessarily recommend...

I want to tell everybody about The One Who Eats Monsters by Casey Matthews. It's a near-perfect blend of the adorable and the horrifying, and one of the best non-human perspectives I've encountered, following an elder god who could be mistaken at a glance for a teenage human girl as she simultaneously tries to figure out how to navigate "civilization" and fights a monstrous conspiracy to protect an (actual) ordinary teenage girl that she accidentally swore an unbreakable oath to defend because the moon was very full and she smelled very nice. It's great. but if you read it, then you would be in the same position that I am, waiting for the second book in the series, which was supposed to come out six years ago.

I love the Arcane Ascension series (Sufficiently Advanced Magic, On the Shoulders of Titans, The Torch that Ignites the Stars, and The Silence of Unworthy Gods) by Andrew Rowe; it's basically about an artificer attending a school for battle mages, using every trick and trap and gadget and clever scheme he can think of to keep up without having any direct combat magic of his own. The reason it's probably not for everybody is that as the story gets bigger and more elaborate, it starts interweaving with at least two other series of books by the same author (one of which initially looked like a completely different setting, and definitely operates on a completely different magic system), and none of the three are finished yet. Also the systems involved are intricate and there's a lot of little details going on, so you kiiiinda have to get obsessed in order to keep track of it all.

The Witcher books by Andrzej Sapkowski might be the best you'll ever find in the gritty "grimdark" fantasy category. The netflix series that everybody was obsessing over for a while before it shit itself too badly? Everything that they did right, is something that was better in the original books. Most of the best parts of the original books were removed entirely and replaced with complete garbage. The video games are a better adaptation, but still fall a bit short in writing quality and character depth. But it definitely leans into the Grimdark, possibly more heavily than you want to deal with.

The Valhalla trilogy by Ari Bach is good... conditionally. You can read just the first book like it's a standalone, and get a cool story subverting the classic Coming-Of-Age 'girl who never fit in is recruited by a secret society that tells her the thing that made her Different is exactly what they need to save the world' trope, except that the thing that makes her not fit in is her propensity towards brutal, remorseless violence. But you can't read the second book (which elaborates on why maybe maintaining world peace by deploying a secret society of ultraviolent killers with no oversight might not be a good idea) without committing to also reading the third, because the end of the second book will make you want to stop reading, and if you take the whole trilogy together then it's great but if you let the end of the second book be your last memory of it then that'll leave a bad taste in your mouth forever.

Jim Butcher's Codex Alera is six books, and five of them are absolutely magnificent. Unfortunately, the first volume is, in my humble opinion, dogshit. You can't skip it either, or you'll miss a bunch of vital setup and introductions. There's nothing you can do except push through a bunch of stuff ranging from simply dumb to downright offensive before you can get to the great part.