#i've never been so protective of any fictional character i swear

[starlight-bread-blog]

This is public enemy 1#??? Get a life fr

[sowthetide]

heyyyyyy *saunters saucily into your ask box* congratulations! you have written a character so appealing that i cant stop thinking about her! and considering shes an alternate version of an already fictional character, i literally have no one else to bother about the brainworms she gives me. so, youre stuck with me. (side note if you do get sick of my endless asks just say the word and i will limit myself to like. two per chapter. probably. i can be normal i promise) ANYWAY i was listening to incredible amazing bigbrained theon playlist this morning and foreigners god by hozier came upand. the way i see it, in asoiaf canon theons one of the characters with the most interesting relationship with religion. he has the conflicting background, and doesnt really seem to connect with either. which isnt bad, not every character needs tk be spiritual, yet he is also some sort of mesiah figure??? like he has visions and talks to the weirwoods and has SO MUCH religious imagery like im not gonna get into it all but dude literally got crucified?? at a stake??? shit idk man. i like it. i like the part where he swears by the seven WHILE AT THE ISLANDS BEFORE HIS DEATH BAPTISM CEREMONY bbg theyre not pagans. but but but back to quenn- i feel like this is more emphasized in her story? maybe thats just me being delusional but (she lights insence in the sept after cat leaves hahahha im normal about this i swear) shes been abandoned by ALL the gods but still prays??? and for what??? stability???? hope?????? shes can seem like such a pessimist at time, a down to earth realist at best, but SHE STILL PRAYS. to what god???? im not very eloquent with words but you should listen to foreigners god the end byeeerer

-TeaInABowl

Why, hello again ;-) You're so nice to me 🥺 I really appreciate it cause I've been dealing with some Family Issues lately ❤️

Also, you do not have to tell ME about the pain of Quen brainworms!!! Thank god I have goddcoward, Ashen_Onion, and, of course, Y'ALL to scream with about Quen with, because otherwise I'd have probably lost my mind by now. Never worry about being normal because I've spent the last year being increasingly Unnormal about Quen, with extensive daydreaming about all of the Saw traps I have/will put her in.

You've reminded me to update my Quen playlist (the link is around here... somewhere...), but I also reallyyyy need to finish my Theon playlist too... eventually...

But back on topic! Yes, Theon's relationship with religion is such an interesting part of his character, and it's something that really drew me to him while reading (as someone with a complicated/agnostic outlook on religion). He has an unusually strong connection with the North's old gods, which is especially apparent in his ADWD chapters (which are some of GRRM's best-ever chapters, I will die on this hill), and I can't wait to see how that (hopefully) intersects with Bran's journey in TWOW.

I took this aspect of Theon's character and ran with it for Quen, as she has a lot of exposure to all three of the main religions in Westeros: the Drowned God during her childhood on the Iron Islands, and the old gods + the Seven during her time with the Starks. Quen has a closer relationship with the Seven in particular, due to her closer relationship with Catelyn/Sansa/Arya/Septa Mordane (by nature of being female in this 'verse), but she oscillates between all three when the occasion calls for it.

What is she praying for? Does she even believe in any of these gods? Who knows! Quen certainly doesn't. But she'll pray to the gods of the people she loves, so their gods might protect them. Also, as my dad would put it: "there are no atheists in foxholes". This is to say, Quen will cling to whatever gods get her the hell outta this clusterfuck in one piece. And, unfortunately, she finds herself in an inordinate amount of clusterfucks. She's clusterfucks Georg, really.

"Foreigner's God" is Thee Theon song fr. We all listened to it and collectively went THEON 🫵 If anyone has any other Theon song recs, I am always open to suggestions... 👀

[heisamarvelouspersona]

Childs Play - Modern AU

summary: honestly just a sh!tty little oneshot ab the gang watching a horror movie w reader lmao. couple hints to a relationship between Arthur & reader. could just be a friendship tho. I've never written an AU before so i really hope i keep everyone in character <3

(also ik the chucky movies arent scary like at all but the thought of john and sean arguing over who looks more like the scarred-faced ginger killer doll made me giggle)

"oi Marston, he's got a mug almost as ugly as yours!"

"me? im not the one with the unruly carrot top. thats the real horror here,"

Sean and John continue to joke and yell over the film, in a feeble attempt to act less scared, makes it hard to believe them when theyre both clutched to Lenny and Abigail like little kids on their first day of school. Sean had orignially been cowering behind Karen (though he swore he was protecting her from the totally fictional horror movie) until she had become fed up with his whining and slapped him upside the head. "ruining the goddamn movie with your muttering," she had mumbled, leaving poor young Lenny to comfort the redhead alone.

Her decision to seat herself on the (what she thought to be) more mature of the two couch groups, alongside yourself, Arthur, Molly, Dutch and Hosea, had proven to be the wrong choice - trading in dumb and dumbers crys and whines for Dutches painful, painful, old man movie talk

"So who sent the doll to the house then?"

"we dont know Dutch,"

"Now who's bowl has the poison in it?"

"we dont know Dutch, thats the point."

"Now that Husbands gonna get caught with the nanny, its obvious. such bad writing,"

"...oh...it was the wife,"

Molly has her head in her hand, finding herself envying the helpless dead victims from the movie, who dont have to listen to her partners consistent rambling. Hosea and Arthur have both grown accustomed to this by now, seemingly fully immersed in the film as if there were no distractions.

you feel an eager tap on your leg,

"hey y/n - is this the one with the crazy doll porn?"

you lean down from the couch to the floor where Javier is sat, with his body turned to you, but his eyes still fully focused on the film infront of him.

"no, no. thats 'seed of chucky' this is 'curse of chucky',"

a mix of both disappointed mutters a sighs of relief come from the floor group, comprising of Javier, Charles, Sean (who has now been quite literally kicked off the couch by Lenny), Trelawney, and Uncle.

There were a total of six 'groups' during VDL gang movie nights. the two couch groups - comprised of those who could, and those who couldn't behave. the floor group, the dining table group - which was mostly just Mary-Beth gushing over the romantic undertones of every film, Ms Grimshaw, Pearson and Strauss - drinking red wine in the kitchen and chatting shit, and finally Micah - who is usually kicked out of the living room, to make sure that he wasn't "getting any ideas", as Arthur would put it.

By this point, everyone who wasn't talking or scared shitless was slowly falling asleep, Abigail somehow snoozing through Johns constant complaints. Arthurs eyes were lidded shut, his head leaning back. you nudge him every few minutes,

"yknow you can go rest - dont have to sit through this shitshow with the rest of us,"

"no, no, I'm just restin' my eyes is all," he'd swear.

"can't quite leave you to watch this scary picture all by yourself now can i?"

You couldn't help but chuckle at his old-man excuse for having his eyes closed, rolling your eyes at him, you accept his answer. You both know you aren't the type to get scared by a cheap slasher flick, but you were endeared by his supposed reasoning.

The film was coming to an end now and even Dutch had quietened down now, an arm around molly and his face plastered with a triumphant grin - he had successfully guessed the ending to the film, like he so often did. There was popcorn scattered over the floor (and mostly in Charles' hair) from Seans failed attempt at starting a food fight.

John had gotten over his fears (lectured by Abigail during the snack break about how getting scared of a Doll would set a bad example for Jack) he was now totally hyping up the film, muttering Chuckys one-liners under his breath and laughing to himself over it.

Charles inched toward the DVD player, case in hand as he dejected the disc that was playing.

"Are we putting on the next one?"

no. you were absolutely not.

A/N: i didnt know how to end this. honestly this is mostly just self indulgence bc i desperately miss watching horror movies w big groups of people </3. might make a part 2?

[i-am-beckyu]

Crimeboys it is.

And would you know it, it be a fluffy Crimeboys prompt with an instinct driven Giant Wilbur and a human Gremlin Tommy.

The prompt starts with Wilbur not letting Tommy go as he woke up with instinct begging for him to take Tommy everywhere he goes.

Tommy tries to bite Wilbur's fingers so he can put him down but Wilbur ain't buggin anytime soon.

Anywhere Wilbur goes, Tommy is right there since Wilbur isn't letting him go.

Like you can have Wilbur be at work and he still brings Tommy with him as an example.

Just make it as fluffy as you can, you can add anything you want.

If you're up to make this prompt then pog, that is if you want to do it.

Also, if you wanna send me a random g/t prompt that u have, go for it.

Quack

This has been in my inbox since I joined Tumblr.

Orchid gorgeous!!!!!!!!! I've rewritten this twice!!!! It took me awhile as I got stuck at one point BUT! I had a new idea today so while its short, I'm very happy with it! I hope I did the prompt justice and you like it!!!

Mine to hold close

cw: mcyt g/t , soft, fluffy, tiny tiny death mention. Words: 607 [One shot]

Disclaimer! This story is based on the characters of the Dream SMP and not the real life content creators. Anything that occurs in this story is purely fiction and should be treated as such. Thank you.

“Can you put me down you prick?! I’m not gonna freeze I swear!!!” Tommy said with huff as Wilbur scooped him up.

“After the last time it snowed? I don’t think so.” Wilbur responded as he tucked the little human close to his chest. 

“But Wiiiiiiilllll!! I’m not even outside this time!” The giant always tended to get extra clingy around this time of year. His instincts in high gear and on Tommy the second he was awake, worried that Tommy wasn’t warm enough. Tommy didn’t blame him though. Not when he literally met Wilbur in the midst of a snow storm. He hadn’t meant to lose the trail and get stranded in Giant territory, but stuff like that always seemed to follow the Great Tommy Danger Kraken Innit! He’s just lucky that the giant had found him in the snow before he became a frozen popsicle. And even luckier that this Giant didn’t eat humans. So yes, Tommy understood that Wilbur was going to be a little extra cautious about him almost dying of Hypothermia again. But he didn’t have to be so damn cuddly and touchy all the f***** time!!

“Wilbur I’m fine! I’m not gonna get cold! The fires going and keeping everything nice and toasty warm, so stop being a d*** and put me down!!” Tommy said as he squirmed in Wilbur’s hold.

“Tommy. You are literally the most chaotic little gremlin I’ve ever seen. If I put you down, I guarantee you’ll be screaming for help in less than five minutes trying not to freeze your a** off!!” In retaliation, Tommy started biting and scratching at Wilbur’s hand. It didn’t hurt of course, but Wilbur found it cute watching the attempt at escape. He loved Tommy like a brother and ever since he found him had sworn to protect him no matter what, his instincts often being a little overbearing at keeping the chaotic child safe. And if that meant holding onto him for hours at a time, then he’d happily oblige. So what if he had to do his work with one less hand? He’d take holding Tommy any day. That and his instincts kept screaming at him to keep the human close.

After a few minutes Tommy eventually resigned himself to his fate and just chilled in Wilbur’s hand. Though he’d never admit it, he secretly loved it when Wilbur would hold him. He felt safe knowing nothing could hurt him when he was with the giant. He didn’t have to worry about anything and could just be content with his pseudo brother. Staying with the giant being the best decision of his life after their first initial meeting. 

Tommy stayed in Wilbur’s hand all day. They chatted while Wilbur did his chores, Wilbur singing songs to Tommy, Tommy sharing wacky insane ideas with Wilbur, all the while the giant's instincts to keep the human close not faltering once. As day turned to dusk and dusk turned to night, Tommy eventually curled up in Wilbur’s hand. Snuggling in as he fell asleep, hugging one of Wil’s fingers close. Wilbur had to resist the urge to coo at the small sleeping human in his hand. Tommy was so small, so fragile but you’d never guess he had such a boisterous personality and was as lively as what he is. Slowly and carefully, Wilbur made his way to bed, getting in and tucking the human close to his heart. He sighed contently knowing nothing could hurt his brother, his instincts finally satisfied. 

“Good night Tommy.” Wilbur whispered quietly as he drifted off to sleep. The brothers comfortable in each other’s warm embrace.\

WOOOOOOOOOOOOO I MADE ANOTHER FIC!!!!! THAT'S 2/3 POSTED!!!!!

I swear I'm still writing the other fic! I swear! I swear! I swear!!! It's gonna be worth the time its taking! PROMISE

[thirstybtsthoughts]

Hey bestie, I've been thinking about this lately, and I really wanted the advice of a friend. And also anyone else who wants to chip in and give any thoughts on the matter is totally welcome and appreciated to share their feelings about it.

So there's this sexy wonderful guy that I'm gonna be meeting. He's charming and funny and SOOOO CUTE FR. And he's got nothing but green flags, I know a ton about him, his past, his life, what he stands for, the type of man everyone who has met him or knows him says he is and strongly attests to. He's kinda a celeb, (doesn't really see himself that way, but he's got a highly successful TV show and a huge fanbase). Idk if that would make any difference thinking about age, that's why I mentioned it. (Which I will get to.) I'm gonna be meeting with him soon personally, and I really... wanna shoot my shot. I've known him for a while now, and I've fallen hard for him. And I really, really am into him.

The only thing I'm kinda thinking about is our ages... he's... 23 years older than me. He's basically as old as two of me (I'm 21, he's 46), and... the same age as my parents. And I know that can sound iffy or ick, but you really have to just know this man. He's charming and honestly so young at heart, in a good way. And he's aged phenomenally. He looks so hot, just as hot as when he was in his twenties, and his thirties, oh GOD. 🔥 Its a bit weird for me because although I've had celeb crushes on older men, I'm not into OLDER older guys irl that I would actually want to be with. I personally want to be with guys my age for several reasons (that's just my prefference). It just feels weird about the idea of my parents and him if they were ever in the same place. He's never been married, doesn't have any kids. He's definitely in a different place mentally than my parents. He's also been dating off and on, but just never found the right partner.

I don't have feelings for him because of his age or status, I solely am attracted to a specific, rare personality in men. The way he moves, gestures with his hands, the way his eyes gaze, the way he makes expressions, the way he talks, thinks, acts. And he's just... everything. Everything I want. Everything I've ever wanted. I just... this is the first time I have ever realistically wanted to be with an older man. We love the same things, like, all of them. He's everything I have ever wanted in a man, and the man I fell for, he's just in a body that's older than mine. What do you think about this? I swear, its not a creep situation. I'm really jumpy about any sort of thing like that, and yet, I just feel naturally safe with him. He is a great man.

I talked to my mom about me theoretically being with a man her age, and she said it would be really weird and uncomfortable. Which I agree with and see, it would be if and when they would ever meet and be in the same place. But if its just him and I, we feel the same... I've never felt this passionate about any real man besides Tae, or specific fictional characters. He has CONSUMED me. I cannot get enough of his presence.

He's into me, and I am a fully grown adult. We met as fully grown adults. We met at his work, NOT through my parents or anything related to anyone else. We met, he knows no one else in my family or my friends, because we're friends. Should I do what *I* know I want, and go for it?

Sincerely, "teacup"

Hi, thanks for dropping in 😊.

Tricky situation, I think age doesn’t always matter. My only concern would be that I want you to be careful because you are young and there is a chance he could be using you if he likes you in the same way.

Honestly if it’s something that you both want to try, it’s entirely up to you. People will judge and talk shit but as long as you are safe and happy, it’s your life.

It sounds like you are quite self aware too, which is good because you will need to be in order to protect yourself from potential grooming or negativity.

I hope whatever you choose to do works out 😊.

[straykats]

hi guys have this list of ideas that i've had forever that i wanna write but never got around to doing so. this is not intended as a prompt list, and more as me just sharing my ideas bc it feels sad if i just keep them in my head, but if anyone reads these and is like 'wait thats a cool idea' and writes a thing inspired/based off of it, pls tag me AHAHA (also come into my inbox and talk to me about any of these ideas!!!)

note that each dot point is independent of the other, even if they're grouped under the same heading, but ofc, they can be combined.

rockband au kinda stuff

bassist!changbin nvjdsknvds pls i have wanted to write bassist!changbin for so LONG?? like... idk just smth about bass lines and changbin.. sits so well. but also, drummer!changbin. pls. sir pls.

multi instrumentalist!chan, whereby the man is a one-man-band. like yeah he's part of a band and is a guitarist and vocalist, but he's more than happy to sub in for any instruments that are needed. also, guitarist!chan who utilises a loop pedal??? *deep breaths*

reader lives next door to A, who is part of a band and they do mini band practices or jam sessions at night and reader is all "if ur gonna keep me up all night then at least let me sit in and listen" and everyone becomes friends yay

cleanup crew (not in a dead-body way) that works at a ??? one of those bars or pubs that have livebands?? like to jam after closing hours/while cleaning up, and end up landing themselves a gig?? (i swear to god this has been in my ideas document since 2019/earl2020, and i only just saw it again today, so this is in no way inspired by maniac mv jkvsnvjkds)

orchestra au >:)

OKAY HEAR ME OUT. first desk violinist!A and first desk cellist!B. i'm seeing hyunjin or chan..? and like, they keep making eye contact during rehearsal or during a performance and trying not to laugh (or even worse, losing count and then one jsut watches the other frantically try to find their place/figure out when to start playing again)

or even first desk A and B, sharing a stand, with sheetmsuic anotated differently so always arguing about whos to use etcetc nvjkvs i miss orchestra

AHAHAHHA and then third wheel violist!C bvhjsvsj esp if they're first desk and they're just watching A and B HHAHAHAHA

(for those who aren't familiar, 'first desk' refers to the music stand at the front of each instrumental section in the orchestra. i phrased that bad, but it refers to the violinists/violists/cellists at the front of their respective section, closest to the conductor. in most orchestras/my experience, it's two people, and the one sitting closest to the audience in each section is deemed the 'section leader'. )

hero/villain type o' things

hero!A, villain!B and villain!C

A is being targetted by B (who is evil. very very evil.) but C is getting annoyed because reader is their target. C is a villain but in a 'i want to cause mischief for fun, not because i enjoy people getting hurt. normally i don't enjoy people gektting hurt, anyways' kinda way?? so now they're all "i'm gonna protect reader and try to get rid of B >:(

is there gonna be romance? who knows, this isn't even a wip (hence why it's in this list). does C have any motivation other than posessiveness over reader? who knows; i sure don't.

the only thing keeping me from writing this is that i dont like making a character evil evil, especially when it's a real person (ik it's fiction but it's still ??)

(visual) art school kinda thing

A has an idea for a photography assignment, and they enlist B and C to be their subjects, but A ends up being the thirdwheel behind the lense and they aren't sure if their story/concept is really a concept anymore bc B and C are really good at acting all lovey dovey???

needing a model for a fashion assignment or for an art project or smth idk but yes

misc.

this (link to an instagram video) which i saw earlier today and it's so cute and i would /love/ to write smth based on it but i don't think i can create the right atmosphere or develop it enoughvd svndksnvjsk

A is a witch and their animal companion is.. a crow. who steals things and rarely manages to deliver letters to the right person. One day B mistakenly gets a letter reader had written for someone else and they become interested in A and come to their magic shop (to return the letter, totally not to meet reader), and actually befriends the crow and the crow is kind of the wingman. Literally.

fake dating au BUT FULL TRANSPARENCY KINDA THING "Don't..  Don't fall in love with me." "Why, because you're worried i'll get hurt?" "Because then i'll feel like i'm taking advantage of you."

bookstore owner minho, who (obviously) has bookstore cats and reader who frequents 100% bc of the cats but like yknow, numbers fluctuate (its me im reader)

A wanting to go on a ferriswheel but for some strange reason they don't let solo riders on so B volunteers to go on with them because they'd come to [place] with C and D and they were about to thirdwheel on the ride anyways so might as well go with A and let C and D make out or whatever

communal kitchen ehehehe

[yourclownpal]

A comprehensive list of all my Ghost au's

this post will be talking about all of the ghost au's ive created or co-created including talking about ghost au's from old fandom's that i am no longer in. if you want to ask about any of my au's my ask box and dm's are always open this includes the hermitcraft au but keep it to a minimum please also if any of the creator's of the characters have said that they arent comfortable with what im making ( with proof ofc) i will edit or delete what is needed to fit in the boundaries also another thing this is a long post if you just want the art go under the cut! this post will discuss how each au works and basic plot stuff about them the fandoms in this post are hermitcraft, epithet erased, and dsmp okay first things first-

my hermitcraft au (what a pity)-

On my old tumblr account I made a few posts about it along with a fanfic which never got finished due to me not wanting to interact with the fandom any more due to personal reasons and also I'm not very good at writing imo but I think I'm ready to talk about it again. Just keep in mind i will most likely not talk about this fandom ever again at least not on here again for personal preference : -) it was about season 6 Grian since he was who i was hyperfixating on at the time, being haunted by the ghosts of Sam and Taurtis, both of them from the old roleplay series' Yandere High School, and Tokyo Soul, and taurtis from Grians old-ish smp Evo. Since I never finished the fanfiction nobody but me and close friends ever got to hear the full story i had planned but now you will i guess. It was mainly just grian stressing about Sam and Taurtis being ghosts and him worrying about being crazy, though he would still join the hippies during the area 77 war he would be significantly more stressed especially when finding out that Sam and Taurtis have been possessing his body during the night, he’s more worried about Sam though because of his track record back in the other servers( yhs and ts) it was going to be that Sam (although death isn't permanent) would go on a killing spree in Grians body which would cause the area 77 guys to put him in the facility to see what's going on with him, and it didn't get further then that. My favorite part of this au much like all of my au’s were the design elements i had for it which i'll have under the cut with the other designs. Now for a rundown of how the ghost physics work in this world, in typical ghost fashion Sam and Taurtis were not able to touch or move anything, but they were able to interact with Grian, him being the only person who could see/hear/or touch them. Their only super natural abilities is being able to possess Grian.

Okay! Time for my Epithet Erased au!: Unlike what a pity this one doesn't have a name or a fanfic to go with it as said before i'm not exactly a writer but i have talked about it a bit before on this account along with posting the designs and general concept but i'll go more in depth here! As said in my original post this au was a co-creation with my best friend and sibling @brocolibean so go check bun out ^^ Unlike ‘What a Pity’ it was more lighthearted and comedy centric because it dealt with a bit more and also the original show is a comedy. This au didn't include the character’s epithets so they are all humans. This will also include talking about house each ghost died so if your uncomfortable hearing about that you might want to skip the ghosts portion Just like the original post I'll separate the story summary into 3 parts with intervals in between to talk about the ghosts. First we have the Banzai boys part of the story. Giovanni, Spike, Dark Star, Crusher, Flame Thrower, Car Crash, and Ben all decide to move into a house together so they could all easily split the rent since its close to their collage, the house, which they get for cheap, is aa very old house with sketchy history. But it's a huge house for cheap so they don't complain they encounter the ghosts very early on living in the house and they swear to figure out how they died so they can get their memory back! The ghosts, Molly, Sylvie, Trixie, and Pheonica have no memory! All they know is that there are ghosts! They are connected to the property of this house but if you where to get something- like perhaps a stone from the property the ghost is still technically attached to it therefore the ghost can go with you anywhere Speaking of- -Phoenicia Fleecity is one of the last ghosts to show herself, her body is found in the overgrown garden flowers growing over her skeleton, she is from the victorian era making her the oldest out of the ghosts though he death is the most mysterious -Molly Blindeff is the first ghost the group meets her decomposed body is found buried in the floorboards of the living room, found when gio decided that the house needed renovation and taking matters into his own hands, she died via blunt force trauma i will not be going into detail here because i'm still thinking of doing something with this au she died in the early 2000’s -Sylvester Ashling is the second ghost to show himself though he didn't want to, his body was found in the bottom of the pond in the backyard of the house in the garden. His body while it was decomposing and falling apart was still intact, bloated from drowning. Again i wont go into detail but this wasn't an accident time of death is unknown -Trixie Roughhouse is the third person to show themselves to the Banzai Blasters she is found in the bushes in the backyard her face disfigured from some sort of explosion unlike the others it seems like it was purely an accident, like sylvie their time of death is unknown Mera Salamin is the collages part time librarian nicknamed “the library witch” she started seeing her ghost after obtaining a neck bow with a blue pendant from a pawnshop she got it cause it was pretty and didn't expect a himbo to come along with it -Indus Tarbella is a ghost who is attached to the pendant and bow Mera wear it used to be his own until he was decapitated wearing it through he was properly buried he has no troublesome memories about what happened even after seeing his body he’s just happy to be with Mera Percival King is a security guard at the college and one of the best at that, she wields a story she got from a pawn shop as its her preferred weapon she takes her job very seriously -Ramsey and Zora both died by the same sword while fighting neither remember who wielded the sword, even after death they hate each other and hate being bound together even more Everyone ends up meeting and finding out they all have ghost hijinks ensue. The way ghosts work in this world is a bit strange I'll admit but it's one of my favorites. The ghosts can interact with the human world(menma style) but

they can only talk to the others who can see them (the Banzai Blasters, mera and percy) and the ghosts can interact with each other ghosts in this au attach themselves to an item or property that has someway to do with their death, the kids in the property, Indus it's the bow, and the sword duo is well, the sword Percy carries. As alluded to from before Gio and the rest of the boys end up carrying a bit of the property with them in the form of friendship bracelets four for each of them which makes 28 different bracelets so the kids can decide who to follow around for the day.i talked about how percy and Mera’s items work enough but i would like to mention that Indus does most of the heavy lifting around the library but becaus enoone else can see indus they assume she’s magical, the glowing pendant doesn't help.

The last two au’s i want to talk about are both dream smp au’s

though i've never talked about them online until now, again thanks to @brocolibean for letting me brain vomit my way through these au’s and helping me out with things i love them please check him out I'll be honest i'm so scared of this fandom so i'm afraid to talk about my au’s please be nice to me Also this is all roleplay and fiction!<3 The first one i'll talking about is the dsmp ghost hunters au Sam runs a company where groups of people hunt ghosts for money! Those groups being Phil, Technoblade, Wilbur,Tommy, Tubbo, and Ranboo Dream, George, Sapnap, Quackity, Karl Bad, ant, Skeppy, and Puffy There’s most likely more but there the only people i can think of at this moment The only canonical ghost being Schlatt This au doesn't have a proper story perse it's more about gags and stuff about the different character fighting over ghosts for money but the story stuff i do have- Sbi family dynamic is real here you can rejoice, Phil adopts Tubbo after his dad (Schlatt) kicks the bucket and fucking dies , Tubbo befriend’s Ranboo some mysterious teen who just desperately needs a job so he- and the rest of the Minecraft family help him get one- though they find out Ranboo isnt as human as he was made out to be and he finds out he’s this worlds version of angels called ender’s and he’s there to protect Tubbo and Tommy which explains why the more violent ghosts start being less violent at the arrival of Ranboo joining their team. Bad isn't human either being a demon his entire group know’s plus quackity. Quackity found out but squirting him with holy water through a water gun but don't worry he promised not to tell anyone; -) Bad and Ranboo know about each other because they see each other as their true forms The minecraft fam found out about Schlatt being a ghost through Tommy- despite Tubbo telling him not to- telling them from calling up and paying for them to investigate their own house saying “technically i didn't tell them” they ended up not getting rid of Schlatt though I'm not going to talk about how the ghosts here work because it's not super important to the plot

The second au is another ghost au where the main characters are ghosts themselves,

like the others its mainly lighthearted and comedic with dark attributes The plot surrounds the sbi family moving into a new house and Tommy finding out it's being haunted by two ghost’s. Those ghosts being Tubbo and Ranboo This au isn't fully figured out but I know that he found out he was haunted by sending a selfie to someone(possibly Drista and Purpled? Since there are only other minors who were part of the dsmp lore? But ultimately idk) and them being like “yo i didn't know you had friends” and him being like “?????” Tubbo died from a boiler exploding and Ranboo died from drowning (which are apparently my two favorite deaths) this also doesn't have an official story? It was just an excuse to make ghost designs with a bit of a story without the commitment As said before it's a sbi au but also a Dadschlatt au cuz I like Dadschlatt au’s. The main story bits i have are background stuff for Tubbo and Ranboo which ill elaborate now The house was originally meant to be just a summer home because it had a large lake in the backyard Ranboo’s family would go there often but that doesn't mean his family liked him very much because of his heterochromia, Vitiligo, and his height his family thought he was strayed from god and drowned him Tubbo died during sleep while Schlatt wasn't home either out drinking or just at work he came home to the house being partially blown up and his son nowhere to be seen he calls Puffy out of fear and she calls the cops. He moves away and most likely starts drinking a bit more. The house gets rebuilt and now the sbi live there hijinks ensue! The ghosts in this au work in a simpler manor only Tommy can see them unless a photo is taken but even then they are blurred, they can float and go through walls and their ability to touch things is limited Ranboo’s memory is worse then Tubbo’s but Tubbo’s isn’t much better.

below the cut will be designs and stuff be safe pal's- there will be minor/cartoony blood-

rip me exposing my old art on this account also i'm ripping these from my fucking amino account that i don't use but still have the password too

gonna do the original what a pity drawins first them ill show a more recent rendition because i hate the old drawings

these are the old drawins i hate them

then,,, i just drew them,,,,, fuck these guys/j

thses are the old sprite edits of these four! trixies design is the only one that really changed

the ded;-; i couldnt fit him on the page

there he is! ft indus and very much alive mera(who i cant figure out how to FUCKING DRAW-)

gay's get wilbur'd/j

they lookin for ghosts

the whole fmaily is here but its quality is shit

these bitches dead! good for them,,, good for them,,,,,,/j/rp

[aros001]

Going in blind: Watching season 5 for the first time. Random thoughts.

Episode 1: Well...that dinner got dark. From what other fans have told me apparently Glimmer gets a lot of hate for her decisions during the series and I just find that odd. I was more annoyed with her in the early seasons where her actions were more harmless simply because she had no patience and wouldn't listen because of her immaturity. Season 4 and here though? Even her most reckless and risky actions have at least been fueled by the genuine desire to keep people safe during a very hard situation. Even here, yeah, she tells Prime something it's very bad for him to know but he was going to have Adora and everyone else literally murdered before her eyes if she didn't. I can't really be mad at Glimmer for making a bad choice when it flows logically and fueled by the desire to keep the people she cares about from being slaughtered.

I don't think we've ever seen Catra this completely at the mercy of another person before, save maybe for Shadow Weaver when she was a child. She has nothing to offer that Prime doesn't already possess. Nothing he wants that he can't get for himself. Her relationship with everyone these past few seasons have been either "I'm your commander and you have to do what I say" or "You are my commander and here's the reason you have to keep me around". This time she has nothing to protect herself behind and the only reason she's still around is because Prime might think of a use for her later.

I love having Scorpia on the heroes' side.

Episode 2: That ending though.

I think what helps elevate Entrapta for me and keeps her for being annoying or irritating is that the show really sells that she just genuinely has trouble understanding why she should/shouldn't be doing certain things. It's not stupidity or even pure self-absorption, she just struggles with people and social ques while machines and science is a lot more straightforward. Heck, she was probably able to bond so well with Hordak because work together in the lab was them meeting on a common middle ground she could understand and relax in. The way she's trying to overcome the issue to help save Glimmer reminds me a little of Mob from Mob Psycho 100, feeling a little frustrated in not understanding something that she knows she should be.

Episode 3: Anybody else get a Disney's Hercules vibes at the end there?

Catra: "Besides, O Oneness, you can't beat her! She has no weaknesses! She's gonna kick your...!"

Prime, smiling: "I think she does, little sister." [Strokes Catra's hair] "I truly think...she does."

This episode really sold how completely isolated Catra is. With the sole exception of Glimmer, she's in space, no idea where exactly she is, onboard a ship filled with nothing but Prime and hundreds of cultist clones. Throughout the entire series we've seen Catra push everyone away and now that she's in a situation where she is almost well and truly on her own with no power, freedom, or authority, she seeks out the one other person around to find any sense of comfort in. Despite everything, Catra doesn't like being alone.

Little child Catra lashing out because she didn't want Adora to have any friends other than her kind of reminds me of Glimmer and Bow during the Princess Prom episode. I imagine it's the same mentality. Growing up in isolation, even if in different forms, and finding only that one person they feel thay can really lean on, there is that fear that they'll find someone else they like more and start caring about them less, or even outright stop. The difference is Bow set Glimmer straight, assuring her he'll always be her friend no matter what but he's not going to be just solely dedicated to her. Her fear was understandable but she was not respecting him as a friend either. Adora never really had that with Catra, one because she was much younger and less mature than Bow, and Catra was probably all she had too, to an extent. As we saw season 1, she was always trying to look after her, even when Catra needed to take responsibility for herself. Bow is not Glimmer's keeper, while Adora too often was that for Catra, so Bow and Glimmer have a better foundation of mutual respect while Adora and Catra's dynamic has been really screwed up for a long time.

Kind of tying into that, despite all that's happened between them, the minute Adora hears Catra's in distress she starts panicking and tearing up. The last time they saw each other they were very much enemies and Adora was done reaching her hand out to her. I suppose you could make the argument she's really been hoping all this time that Catra would finally do the right thing for once, just probably didn't expect it to be like this.

Prime better not mind wipe Catra like he did Hordak.

Episode 4: See, calling the heroes the rebellion now makes sense since they are rebelling against the established power, which is Prime.

Love that trick with the reflections, where you can sort of see/sort of can't see She-Ra. A nice little tease for what I imagine will be a big reveal later.

I really like that explanation for what Bow's going through. Last season's finale was the last he'd seen Glimmer and was desperately trying to save her, and he's been consistently worried for her since then. Now that she's safe he's starting to let himself process his other emotions towards her, and I totally get it. It's hard to be mad at someone when you're also terrified over what might be happening to them, even if your anger is justified. While I get why Glimmer last season did what she thought she had to, it was still a big risk that Bow warned her about and she didn't listen, putting them all in danger. This situation and Glimmer's words is a very mature way of handle this topic. He's not wrong for being mad and it's not a contradiction to what we've been seeing from him this season. Humans and emotions are complicated.

Episode 5: SHE HAS PAAAAAAAAANTS!!! (I will miss the cape though)

That almost makes up for them cutting Catra hair. Seriously, that mane was beautiful!

But boy, speaking of Hercules, that return of She-Ra definitely felt like Hercules emerging from the pool of souls to save Meg.

With the one clone being disconnected from the hive mind and having a breakdown over it, that does make me wonder if Hordak has been connected to it. Wasn't he deemed a defect because Prime couldn't connect to his mind? I suppose it's possible that flaw was corrected. Clearly Prime can take over minds other than just his clones, like with Catra. But if he could do that I'm wondering why he just didn't when Hordak was first created and he instead cast him out to Etheria.

Was Catra purring at the end? I swear there was a sound that sounded like purring.

Episode 6: Assimilation is easily one of my biggest fears in fiction, be it zombies, Borgs and Cybermen, Get Out, the freaking Sapphire Dragon from Xiaolin Showdown that scared the hell out of me as a kid! Just the concept of having your free will and autonomy completely ripped away from you, potentially with you still being aware but unable to do anything about it, is horrifying! At least with Prime's chips the process is reversible.

Anyway, in lighter plots, I kind of love Wrong Hordak. He's really funny. I feel bad that he's being deliberately misled, but he really shouldn't be following Prime anyway, so...

I do like that Adora is being a little more tough on Catra. She needs kindness, yes, but she also needs honesty and discipline, the kind that has actual love and care behind it, unlike what she got from Shadow Weaver. Adora is genuinely trying to help so Catra needs to stop acting like a brat and LET HER HELP.

Episode 7: Catra was definitely purring.

I'm going to go out on a limb here and assume people probably ship Scorpia and Perfuma. Not that I have any problem with that. It's like the Midoriya/Todoroki ship; I don't ship it myself but I totally get why others do. It's a relationship based in mutual respect and one of the characters having a significantly positive effect on the life of the other. As long as the shipper themselves is not horrifically toxic, I don't care.

Also, I don't think I've ever been so intimidated by Mermista before than I was with that one shot of her in silhouette, just before the reveal she was chipped.

Episode 8: Okay, I definitely love Wrong Hordak. Just that realization of his. "Horde Prime...lied to us..." There's just something about it that's so full of character. Obviously he's a brainwashed clone but he was truly devoted to Prime and just to find out that he would keep something so big from them, from the hive mind that's supposed to be so open to him and each other, it destroys everything he ever believed in. It's hilarious to watch him prepare to lead his brothers in a revolt against Prime.

I assume magic is Prime's "weakness" in that he himself cannot control it. Obviously he can control magical beings like Spinnerella and have them use magic but magic itself is too free and too powerful for him to contain and fully fight back against. He's all about order and stillness and magic is basically chaos.

Episode 9: I like to believe the mushroom kingdom they saved is a Mario reference.

Something I like in hero stories is "the power of a name" or "the power of a symbol". Something as simple as Superman's S-shield can have so much weight and meaning behind it just because of the person it's tied to. She-Ra isn't just a powerful warrior to the people of Etheria, she's a hero of legend. We saw it touched on even back in season 1 how much Adora returning She-Ra to the world meant to everyone. She-Ra to them is a symbol of hope. If they have her on their side, then they believe they might be able to win and with that ordinary people can find the strength to fight too. It's something I think the Green Lantern put best with how the Blue Rings of hope supercharge the Green Rings of will but lose a lot of their functions when the greens are not around. Hope is useless if you don't have the will to also act, but in turn hope can give people the will to act. The more hope they have that they can win, the more they will fight to win.

That was the nerdiest comparison I've ever made.

Episode 10: I appreciate a good bad dad joke and that's why I can't approve of "punderstand". It's too much of stretch to flow well. "Ruined" was good though.

I'm less surprised that Scorpia's been chipped and more that she's even alive. She was at the bottom of the ocean when the roof broke and she's a scorpion woman. I don't think water is a very friendly element for her. She's even commented on how good the desert was to her.

I wonder her She-Ra mode is not working for her simply because Adora is exhausted; mentally and physically. I don't think she's ever used the form this continuously before, and she's been doing it without the First Ones' sword that she has experience with. Her new sword and its transformations may be made out of her own energy for all we know. And then there's just the emotional toil of having Catra back in her life while it feels like more and more of the world is being turned against her.

Episode 11: Oh, I'm definitely shipping Hordak and Entrapta.

I think Re:Zero has spoiled me on dark magic. While Micah with his dark magic is a threat, in this show and many others dark magic basically just equates to "spooky, evil, bad stuff" magic that isn't that different from most other kinds of magic other than being either harder to control or more geared towards causing harm. In Re:Zero, dark magic was DARK. It felt unnatural, like a perversion of how their world's magic is supposed to be and that it didn't belong in this reality. Micah's dark magic is basically "I'm attacking you with shadows, oOoOoOo so scary!"

Not really surprised Catra left. She just got Adora back and now she's potentially about to let herself die. Perfuma said it best, letting people in and letting herself be vulnerable is hard. Caring about Adora and watching her die would be a huge blow, so Catra would rather curl back up into her shell and block out Adora again than have to risk taking that hit.

Episode 12: I keep saying it but now having them right next to each other, yeah, Mara's She-Ra outfit is better than Adora's. I don't know, there's just something grander about it. Anyway, on topic, I'm a big fan of superheroes and legacy and all that and I really like Mara's words to Adora. All she did and sacrificed was so that others, especially the next She-Ra, wouldn't have to do the same. It doesn't matter how noble and heroic it is, tragedy is tragedy and anyone who knows that kind of pain doesn't want anyone else to have to go through it.

I'm not surprised by the love confession between Glimmer and Bow. I felt it could go either way with them either hooking up or just staying really good friends, but that in itself is a sign of how good and natural their friendship is. I can easily buy how it would evolve into something more between them. The situation they're in probably helps. When Glimmer was taken they both thought they might never see each other again and that fear and worry probably caused them to reevaluate how they feel about the other. They've been clinging to each other since getting back, as every day could be their last. Something like that is naturally going to push two people together.

Episode 13: So...are there any plans for a season 6? Or a comic continuation like Avatar and Korra got? Because this was a good finale...buuuuuuuuut I feel there are definitely some things that needed a bit more exploration.

This is typically why I like stories with epilogue endings, especially those set some number of years in the future. Little glimpses of what everyone's doing now, allowing the audience to fill in for themselves what happened in-between. There's nothing wrong with this episode but it does just kind of...stop. They beat Prime. Everybody's cheering and happy. Adora suggests they bring magic back to the universe. And...that's it. We don't see anything more. No aftermath, no post-war, nothing. We end on the moment of victory, and while it's not a bad moment it leaves the ending feeling a little incomplete.

It kind of feels like the writers either really had to rush to the ending to make the 13 episode deadline or simply didn't want to address whatever happens with Catra and Hordak now. With the bigger threat of Horde Prime it makes sense why everyone puts aside past issues and works together. But now that the crisis is over, naturally everyone would have to address everything the Horde had done to Etheria for years with Hordak and Catra leading it. Don't get me wrong, I believe that Catra loves Adora, I believe Adora loves her, and I believe Catra wants to be a better person. It's not like I'm saying she needs to be locked up or executed. But she did cause a lot of damage and put Adora especially through hell, and just because Shadow Weaver is the one who screwed her up so bad doesn't mean she doesn't have any responsibility for her own actions. So it just would have been nice to get even a little bit of lip service to show that Catra would be trying to right her wrongs from this point forward, instead of just "Prime's gone, everyone's happy, bye!" At least with Entrapta she seemed to genuinely not understand why what she was doing at the time was wrong and Scorpia, like Adora and Huntara, defected from the Horde to do the right thing despite it being even more part of her upbringing than anyone else. I can't even imagine what happens with Hordak now.

Don't get me wrong, this is far from the worst I've ever seen a redemption handled. I haven't read/watched any of Boruto outside of the movie and Gaiden tie-in but I've read all of Naruto and there is no reason that Orochimaru should just be walking around and casually talking with people after all he's done. Kaiba in the Yu-Gi-Oh manga built an entire theme park to try an murder Yugi and his friends and they bring it up like twice after that arc. Kylo Ren turning back to the light was one of the potential paths for his character, so that made sense in TROS, but they essentially did "He died heroically and therefore totally redeemed himself for every terrible thing he's ever done."; basically a cop-out. Catra's alive and can at least potentially still own up to her actions and work to redeem herself. And I love Steven Universe, but kind of like with Catra nearly killing everyone (including herself) via the unstable portal, fans have naturally pointed out that the Diamonds enslaved and committed genocide on multiple planets and really faced no consequences for that other than "Stop it". Catra's not at the gold standard of redemption stories, which for me is probably Zuko and Endeavor, but she's far from the bottom. I think the best way to describe it is that Catra had as good, if not better, reasons for being so bad and screwed up as Zuko did, just as good step-up for turning good as Zuko did, but she didn't have nearly as much payoff afterwards to make it feel like a full journey like Zuko did.

But enough about all that. Love the basically goddess She-Ra Adora became. Given the emphasis on healing powers with She-Ra we've had, I'm guessing that's essentially how she destroyed Prime. She purified Hordak and Prime was basically an infection within him. I like when heroes snatch victory from the jaws of defeat but I also when there's an implication towards the villain that "Wow. I never stood a chance." She-Ra's power just dwarfs his. Full potential realized by Adora and he was just gone.

Also I don't know how I forgot that Prime could jump into the bodies of his clones but his possession of Hordak got me. I genuinely couldn't think of how he'd survive after Hordak shoved him off the edge (set free by the power of love!).

And even if the ending feels a little incomplete, the episode itself still did well with my emotional investment. I was gripped by during Catra's confession and the tension within the heart.

Season 5 and overall series verdict: I'm very glad I saw this series. Even though its ending falls a little short for me, this was still really good. Seasons 3 was probably my favorite overall but this story had a very good flow to it. It steadily built up bigger each season, with Catra and Hordak being really compelling villains driving the whole thing. Not that Prime was bad. He was a genuine threat and his cult of clones is a good creepy concept. He's just not as good as the other two. I'm sure part of what elevates him up is because I'm thinking of the JL director's cut but Hordak really is just better Steppenwolf. Everything that worked about that character, Hordak is that to an 11.

Given how I've talked about her more than any of the others, Catra is probably my favorite character. Just the damage that girl has been through. I always understood why she was doing what she did, even though there was rarely a moment I'd agree with exactly what she was doing. Again, it's one of the reasons it feels like the series just kind of ended. There's a lot to be seen with Catra's character now, a lot that can be done, and it just feels like a shame to really not show any of it. This isn't a fault of SRPOP itself because so many series, especially animated and anime, are guilty of but it always bugs me when a series ends on two characters hooking. Relationships are interesting, I'd argue more so than the build-up to them, but no writer ever wants to actually explore them after the hook-up. I never cared about Korra and Mako being a couple but I still found their relationship as a couple more interesting and character building than any of the will they/won't they build-up to it. And I actually like the idea of Adora and Catra as a couple. It's a big reason why I'm so happy the Harley Quinn animated series got renewed for a third season, as it otherwise would have just ended on a hook-up between two characters who, like Adora and Catra, love each other but have had a complicated dynamic for a while. I believe Adora and Catra love each other, but they've got a lot of stuff to work out and I want to see that! Catra's got abandonment issues and that in turn caused her to be unhealthily possessive over Adora. Just seeing the two of them try to work through that alone would be fascinating.

Like I suspected early on, Scorpia's my favorite supporting character. Entrapta's a decent 2nd. Took a small dip when it seemed like she was joining the Horde over feeling abandoned by the princesses when they thought she was dead but that picked back up once it was made more clear "Oh, okay, you're not being petty or stupid. You genuinely don't understand." It made her a more interesting character, and I love her and Hordak's relationship.

Least favorite characters...probably Sea Hawk and those three former Horde friends of Adora and Catra. I never hated them but I never cared about what was happening when they were on screen. They fill out the world a bit, they drive the plot, they're not wastes of space, they even get some laughs. There are just so many other characters in the series way more interesting than them.

Biggest surprise for me was definitely Glimmer and Bow. I never thought I'd dislike them but the best friends characters in series like this can kind of go one way or another with how relevant or deep they are. Glimmer especially I was surprised how much I was invested. She really grew a lot as a person throughout the series and I thought the dilemma over the Heart of Etheria was a good one.

Honestly there's a lot more I could talk about but I have only so many words and my thoughts are a jumble right now so I'm going to leave it at that. I will say I really appreciate how supportive you all on this Reddit have been. It's something I hate about some other fandoms I'm in where they basically are so toxic that they make no one else actually want to watch/read the thing they're fans of because they can't help but associate it with them.

Original Reddit post: https://www.reddit.com/r/PrincessesOfPower/comments/o2p6wq/going_in_blind_watching_season_5_for_the_first/

[theworldsoul]

Uhh warning VENT!!! Talks about self harm and shit... also religious bullshit and gender bullshit??? Like I'm really trans and also Catholicism really fucked me up so if ur uncomfy with that just... skip this post. Also if ur Christian and can't handle seeing ur shit defaced then skip this post. Also if ur gonna clown on this post as "cringe atheism" then fuck you because I'm literally coping with pain lol

:readmore:

Anways now that the disclaimer is over... here comes the real shit.

I... have been going through a LOT lately, jesus christ. I was HAPPY today, yknow? I thought I was gonna be happy the whole day.

I was dancing today. That's how happy I was. For the first time in like... a whole year... I was really so happy. I thought I was gonna cry. But then I got home. And well,,,, I did cry. But not from happiness. I just got my math grade back. A fucking 49 percent. MY AVERAGE RIGHT NOW IS A 57 PERCENT. I MIGHT FAIL MATH 20. I MIGHT HAVE TO RETAKE IT. oh my god I'm such a failure I cant do anything ever i try SO fucking hard but honestly??? I cant fucking do this. I can't, I'm not mentally capable. "Just work harder"... BITCH I AM WORKING AS HARD AS I CAN. I AM SPENDING HOURS AND HOURS OF MY LIFE STUDYING AND PRACTICING. I'm starting to think that how hard i try doesn't even fucking matter because I'm STUPID and all i know how to do is PAINT SHIT!!!! NOBODY CARES ABOUT ART!!!! IF I FAIL THIS CLASS I MIGHT NOT BE ABLE TO HAVE A HOUSE IN THE FUTURE!!!! A HOUSE!!!!!

I dont even want to be a fucking orthodontist. Okay??? I wanna do what I love: painting. But NOOOO. I have to get a "respectable" job that will "pay me enough money to live". WHY SHOULD I HAVE TO MAKE MONEY TO LIVE??? WTF??? THATS LITERALLY SO FUCKED UP. everyone deserves to live (unless they like murdered someone? I guess? Idk) BUT LIKE I DIDNT KILL NO ONE SO WHATS ALL THIS BS ABOUT WORKING TO LIVE???? WTF??? I rly gotta do all this shit I hate, all this shit I'm mentally incapable of doing... so i can have a house. Fuck this. Yknow with my average at a 57... I might fail this class even if I get a really good grade on my next quiz. Can you fucking believe it??? I'm literally so fucking stupid I cant even pass a dumb fucking math class god i hate myself. I cant fail this class. I've NEVER failed a class. Almost failed... but never HAD TO RETAKE A CLASS. that's the ultimate failure. I think my parents would hate me if I failed this.

And on top of that... I'm really struggling with uhhh, dysphoria and body image... and it's so fucking horrible man I want to rip all my skin off I want to suffocate god I want to KILL him I want to MAKE HIM SUFFER. I want to gouge his eyes out and force him to eat them. WHY WOULD HE MAKE ME LIKE THIS????? WHY????? WHATS THE POINT IN MAKING A CHILD SUFFER SO MUCH???

What did I ever do that was so wrong I deserved all this punishment???

Well FUCK YOU and fuck your stupid book and FUCK THESE STUPID FUCKING SAINTS. WASNT THERE SUPPOSED TO BE A WHOLEASS ANGEL WATCHING OVER ME?? PROTECTING ME??? WHERE THE FUCK IS THAT BITCH NOW?? WHERE WAS THAT BITCH WHEN... when I was being bullied? When I literally wanted to kill myself?

Where was that guardian angel when I kept making THE SAME MISTAKE over and over again and I KNEW it was wrong but I kept doing it anyways because it was the only way I could feel like soemone cared about me????

I bet that angel motherufcker KNEW they didnt care. DID THE ANGEL EVER ONCE HELP ME??? NOOOO. all those times I was bruised and broken... all those times...

Man, I was just a kid. I was SO fucking young. And I would come like a lamb to the slaughter and kneel. I would pray... ask for guidance. I would pray the rosary too, I would read the bible and try my very best to understand it, I would go to church and volunteer at church and do my best to be a Good Boy and never sin. I did EVERYTHING right. I literally fasted at some point, like a religious fast. I was devoted...

Honestly though? I think it was the same mistake I make over and over again, except not with a real person.

And you have me NOTHING. GO GIRL, GIVE US NOTHING!!!!!!! I literally used to self-punish for the sins I couldnt bring myself to confess. At my communion, there was one sin I didn't tell because I knew it was unforgivable. I still hate myself for that. But man, I used to try and do all sorts of things to somehow cleanse myself of it. I figured THAT whole ordeal was why I was constantly being tortured.

But I was stupid and I am stupid and that makes NO SENSE because if the thing I'm being punished for happened when I was a child, WHY DID THE PUNISHMENT BEGIN AT MY BIRTH????

They used to tell me that god handcrafted every part of me specifically for some sort of grand reason.

Why.

Really? This bitch really "handcrafted" me just so I could cry and cut myself nearly every night??? Fuck that. Like why would you make me this way. It hurts more than you can IMAGINE. The only reason I'm not dead yet is because of ME, MY strength, not any of the bullshit YOU gave me. I hate when people say "oh, god made u so hardworking" or "oh, god made you so passionate/hopeful/full of love/fiery/whatever" LIKE STFU BITCH THAT WAS NOT SKYDADDY THAT WAS ME!!!

you wanna know what he made me?

dysphoric, ugly af, yeah.... but the worst part?

He made me feel.

That doesn't sound bad, right? Well it's the worst thing on the list. It is my downfall, my Achilles heel or whatever. This emotions shit??? It RUINED my life. My whole life I was cursed with a fucking monster inside me. I kept trying to tell everyone that it wasnt me!!! I kept telling them that it felt like I was being possessed. But adults are SHIT. I hate adults. I want to kill them all. They failed me and their god failed me. None of them every listened to me. All they knew how to do was punish, punish, punish.

It's like giving an allergic kid some peanuts and then getting angry at them for going into anaphylactic shock or whatever. Nobody ever thought "hey, why don't we stop giving the kid peanuts?"

ALL THE ADULTS AROUND ME ACT LIKE CHILDREN AND THEY ALWAYS HAVE ACTED LIKE CHILDREN FUCK ADULTS

Anwyays that's how I ended up with all these unresolved issues,.... emotion is a tough one, like I literally dont have the ability to control my emotions at all, I can try and like, repress them but I cant make myself actually feel less.

My emotion hurts more than anyone else's and nobody ever understood that. I would tell them that it hurts, it PHYSICALLY HURTS, and they would say I just wanted attention. I would tell them I literally couldnt control what my body said and did, I would tell them I felt like A PUPPET ON STRINGS and no one believed me. Fuck them.

Healthy coping mechanisms? I literally self ship with Snape to cope. I literally self ship with characters my brain made up and put in my dreams to cope. I used to hurt myself so much trying to feel loved and cared about irl. Fiction is so much better. I sound like a loser but its TRUE. The sort of thing I need, the sort of love I need is like... a parent. You can't go looking for a parent in a romantic partner, it fucks everything up and you end up... well, let's just say it proabbly wasnt the most legal thing, but I wasnt thinking strisght at all I mean dude I was So fucked in my head when I did all that...whatever...anyways so thank u for fiction!!! I love fiction. Want to kill someone? Draw it. Then you'll feel much better!!! And you dont go to jail!!!

Well the pics here... idk, it was really calming to do this. It's new, painting over religious shit. I was gonna do the whole bible but I already burnt that shit so.... and I was going to cut but I'm trying really hard to stay clean... like really hard. It's so weird and like, addicting, once I hit styro I don't want to stop, but also it kinda transfers the emotional pain to physical pain, making it way easier to deal with. I just can't keep doing that because I KNOW it's bad and look I thoguht I was clean for a whole year but then I fucked up and WOW, GUESS WHAT MADE ME RELAPSE??? MATH CLASS!!!!

Whatever anyways here are my wonderful works of art I made while crying and cursing god (like I'm so pissed at all this catholic bs I believed in him again just to swear at him lol)

.... but imagine for a moment, a better world. One in whcih these saints whose images I've defaced are actually good people... a world in which they SEE ME AND THEY HEAR ME... and I go unpunished.... and I am embraced by someone who UNDERSTANDS.

I think I would cry.

Too bad that world doesnt exist and I just made it up to try and feel a bit better. Whatever, whatever. I painted the things, they're gonna dry. I work hard, I'm gonna do good on my quiz, I hope. I just have to be making it through, that's all it is, work work work without a break but I can proabbly do it. I'm really slipping I admit like the mental health is slipping it's getting worse like I havent had a "fuck I am afab" moment in such a long time so yeah...

Anwyays I feel so much better now that I did my little art project yknow???

[thatyanderecritic]

i really like the yandere dynamic but i dont openly post or reblog about it anymore cuz i've had people give me a hard time over it being problematic. and i get told im terrible, get called a freak... idk. do you have any advice for dealing with this...?

Hey anon, sorry for not getting to you sooner. We have a lot of questioned queued up to be answered but I decided to put you first since this is a pretty big issue. 

To be a yandere fan, we’re in a rather precarious position. Like any fandom, we are plagued with bad apples that end up painting the community’s face as a whole. You know the type of bad apples that all fandoms have: the overzealous stans that either attack those outside the community for not sharing a view or catering to our fandom. We also suffer from infighting/bullying between yandere fans because not everyone shares the same views on what a yandere is or even for something as stupid as a yandere headcanon for a character that never was a yandere, to begin with. But unlike most fandoms, the works that we support tend to go against us at times. That is to say... since we’re a bit of an under “funded” (e.g. don’t have enough yandere media. Especially for male yanderes) fandom, people tend to quickly put CrAzY characters on a pedestal without question. And this hurts our credibility, ALOT.  Having group within the fandom worshipping some non-yandere, psychotic girl as a yandere just because she’s kawaii while the more “sane” fans try to explain, “No, we swear yandere’s aren’t like that” doesn’t look good for our case. 

Is there anything we can do about people attacking us for our preference? Not exactly, I’m sorry to say. The moment humans gained self-awareness and free will, universal mental unity became a myth. There will always be a disconnect, even on concepts that all humans should be in agreement on. Would you believe me if I say that some people don’t believe that people should be allowed to have a livable wage? Of course, people will have their reasons as to why they think a certain way regardless if it sounds logical or not. Just because they have a reason doesn’t mean it’s reasonable but in a world where emotions is king, logical will never win.

People who attack you for liking yanderes most likely were victims of abuse and went through some sort of trauma that yanderes are usually identified/linked with. If they weren’t direct victims then they know someone who is a victim. And if it isn’t either of these two, then they’re most likely a bleeding heart with a “higher than thou” sense of morality. Regardless of the reasoning, they all have their hearts in the right places but rigid in their perspective of the world. Already, the decision is cemented and may never change. To most, we’re as egregious as pedophiles and incest-lovers just because we like villains. After all: “How in the world could anyone remotely ‘like’ such awful people?! Clearly, there is something wrong with THEM.” Of course, we have our reasons for liking yanderes but most people close their ears and eyes since they already judged us based on our interest. For those who were victims of abuse or know someone, I understand that they’re reaching out to attack those who seem to defend characters that may or may not be similar to their assailant/abuser. They attack, they defend invisible victims, and in a way, looking for purpose... looking at how they can turn their trauma into a positive. But most of the time, they overstep their boundaries and try to enforce their authority in something they don’t understand. 

The only way we can approach these types of people is to send an open invitation for a diplomatic talk in trying to reach a middle ground. While a change of opinion would be nice, it would be nearly impossible since a lot of people are grounded in their personal moral compass. If they are open for a conversation, then all hope is not lost. Ideally, if a conversation is open then the most important thing is to validate their emotions invested in this situation. 9 out of time 10, people are stubborn in an argument because they feel like they’re getting personally targeted either by their identity, their pride, or their emotions. Therefore, they double down and become louder in their argument, not because of their view but because they believe they are defending themselves. From there, once the other recognize that you aren’t attacking them, you shift the conversation onto yourself and point out how they were making you feel the same away but they were actively attacking you; not only that, treating you as less than human just because you prefer villainous FICTIONAL characters. Ideally, at this point, the other recognizes their hypocrisy and you both agree in staying in your own lanes. If by some miracle they’re open of a different perspective, then you’re given a platform to say why you like yanderes... typical reasons being the idea of unconditional love or coping. 

But this is all hypothetical and the most desirable outcome. But more than often, people are more than comfortable at screaming at you every time you try to open your mouth... most likely something they learned because someone shut them down in such a way. Not only that, they most likely formed their own counter-arguments already since a lot of yandere fans have the same reasons as to why they like yanderes: unconditional love or coping. The counter-argument can usually be boiled down to two reasons: unethical and risking future victims seeking a “yandere” partner. Ethicality... this is a low hanging fruit to argue. Everyone (well the majority of people, again it’s universally impossible to be on the same page) would agree that it’s bad to stalk a person. Even a yandere fan would say never to stalk a person IRL. But because of this, they think they got you in an “ethical checkmate”. It’s a cheap argument and they’re just trying to make you feel like a monster for your preferences in fictional characters. Funny enough, this is a tactic that abusers would use to shame their victim into compliance... hm...

The second counter-argument people use is “think of the youths!” Let’s be real... it’s scientifically proven that kids and teens are easily impressionable because of their underdeveloped brains and lack of experience. Not only the concerns of the younger members of society, they fear that by allowing us to enjoy our media, we are “normalizing” abusive relationships in society. Considering the state of the United State’s government, I understand where the fear is coming from. But they’re barking up the wrong tree and especially using the wrong method in preventing this dystopian future. I always see these people bring up the ‘Jaws’ case as to why there should be no yanderes and no support for them. You know, the case where there was a sudden increase in shark hunting due to public fear which pushed certain shark species into endangerment. It’s always this argument, I swear... anyways, they always toss this without never diving in deeper as to why this happened. 

Before Jaws, people didn’t know anything about sharks in general. There just wasn’t any interest in sharks because we humans just didn’t find time interesting at the time. They were there and we can’t really eat sharks. But, there were already tales about sharks being “man-eaters” from those stranded out at sea or curious citizens. The stereotype was already there. But Jaws brought sharks to the forefront of public scrutiny and shark hunting competitions came up because “what’s the harm? Sharks are man-eaters”. This dropped the shark population, but because of this there was an interest in sharks, funding to research them suddenly increased. Scientist turned their attention on sharks while later on fed to informing the public, making them educated and less scared of shark attacks. Jaws came out in 1975... Shark Week on the discovery channel came out in 1988... there’s a reason, folks. People became interested in sharks. Yes, Jaws hurt the shark population but it’s slowly been going up. Damage takes time to repair. But it also brought about awareness. While the stereotype isn’t dead (that’s just humans at this point and it’s always been a stereotype ever since man was on a boat), it opened a conversation. And that’s the key point here. (Here’s a link. But you can go even further if you research)

Abusive relationships, manipulative people, toxic actions... these are nothing new. “Getting rid” of yandere fans will not solve this issue, just like telling your kid “there are kids starving in Africa” will not end world hunger. For the Jaws example, I point to the argument that politicians make about how video games create violent people. We know that it’s nonsense, you know it’s nonsense. But there is a fear of the “unknown”. People back then thought that cartoons like Tom and Jerry would cause kids to grow up violent. And even further back, people thought that reading books created lazy people. The fear on what’s on TV is a fear people had since the beginning of time. People aren’t as soft as they believe they are but they can lack information... Instead of shutting down people and censor what goes on TV, use it as a stepping stone for the bigger conversation. It’s a lack of knowledge and fear of the unknown that killed the sharks but it is knowledge that is now protecting them. 

This is especially important for our younger peers. Raise of hands, who actually changed their minds as a teenager after someone called you stupid or told you “no” with giving a logical reason besides “because I say so.” I’m going to guess we got an empty room here. Attacking our younger peers or those who are older just because they like a character trope IS NOT HELPING THEM AND ESPECIALLY NOT MAKING THE ATTACKERS LOOK LIKE HEROES. THEY LOOK LIKE JACKASSES. Fuck man, the younger ones want acceptance and looking a supportive group by joining a fandom. Calling them toxic just pushes them to the edge these people never wanted them to be. The same applying to the older ones. We all got our issues and y’all never know what it is. That’s why I hate seeing people in our fandom gatekeep against our younger peers. They’re going to come in even though you say crap like “Lmaooo, my blog/game is 18+! Okay, byeeeee!” If you want to protect them then be their fucking guide, my dudes. You can have a mature conversation with them and explain the difference between fiction and reality and what’s wrong and right. “Yanderes are pretty cool, ay sport? But notice how that guy gaslighted the girl? That is a common tactic people do IRL. Be sure to recognize it as a red flag.” Fuck, is that so fucking hard for everyone? Some people act like they never grew on the internet during the early 2000s.Y’all were a teenager once. If what you’re doing wouldn’t help teenage you in the past, then you’re doing it wrong. Smh. 

Finally, I do want to make a point for those who use coping reasons. While I do understand where you’re coming from, you guys are our most vulnerable to these attacks but also the reason for the attacks as well. It’s the mindset of “How could you support something like this?! You must be a horrible person.” I know a lot of people aren’t like that but also, we got bad apples... people who take this for coping reasons way too far. To them, I ask them to come back from the edge and let’s look for help together. Using yanderes to embrace “yandere tendencies” or rationalizing your abuse as normal isn’t the way. Use it to help you breathe and help you feel grounded but don’t let it define you... especially don’t make it a lifeline. As for those who know the difference and can separate fiction from reality, I applaud you but you got some work in helping those who are too deep. I’ve seen some of the yandere Tumblr group chats on the app. I’ll be real... YIKES. It’s a bit of an echo chamber. I ended up having to message a user on a side since I saw red flags in the group chat when I was lurking. People were trying to give the wrong help by encouraging their actions. Just... don’t do this y’all. I get you relate but don’t get your homie in jail or a court date for a restraining order. 

Anyways, I’m sorry anon for pulling farther and farther away from you specifically since this is a big issue that everyone tackles and I’m also sorry that I can’t give you an “end all” answer. First, you can try having a civil conversation with these people. Try for the middle ground and if you feel like you can push further, then try to do a change of mind. But I know this is hard, especially when tensions build and emotions get heated. But it’s important to never explode that anger... or at least direct that anger into a logical response. The moment you explode and made an error of judgment, you will lose and suffer publically. If a conversation isn’t possible, then encourage these people to stay in their lane and unfollow you. Why the fuck are they following you if they hate the things you reblog? Sounds unhealthy... suggest some hobbies or blogs to follow instead. From there, if they try to continue the hate, just block them and delete the messages. As they say, don’t feed the trolls. Y’all may think you’ve seen all the hate anons we get but we get a lot more than what we answer. We just delete them because they’re typically incoherent or stupid. They don’t come back lol. 

From there, anon, surround yourself with people who you find agreeable and who you relate to. A lot of yandere blogs are down for a talk, I’ll be real. Just be sure you open up that you want to be friends lol. So... yeah. I’m sorry this isn’t perfect, but I hope it helps. Don’t be afraid of being yourself!

[wrestlersownmyheart]

Second Chances Ch. 22 (Book 1 In the "Chances" Series) *Samoa Joe X OC*

Pairing: Samoa Joe X Female OC

Summary:

Ella Roberts has led a traumatic life.

She witnessed her parents' murders at the age of eighteen, and narrowly escaped death herself, due to the intervention of Joe Seanoa, a close family friend. After she discovers she was the true target the night her parents were killed, she assumes a new identity and runs away with intentions of protecting her family and loved ones. Years later, she is pursued by a mysterious Ukrainian, and soon finds herself right back in the biggest nightmare of her life. Fate brings her back to Joe, and knowing Ella's still in danger, Joe vows to keep her safe. But can he succeed? Or will the danger that still threatens her freeze any second chance they have at a happily-ever-after?

Disclaimers: I own nothing or anyone associated or affiliated with TNA. I own only the original characters. This is just a fictional story that came from my imagination.

Chapter Content & Trigger Warnings: some sensuality

Chapter 22

"Joe Seanoa and Giselle Roberts?"

Ella took a deep breath as she, Joe, Nina and Jeff all stood to enter the magistrate's office.

"Ready," Joe asked, watching her face to make sure she did not show signs of apprehension.

She looked up at him and smiled happily as she smoothed her hands over her dress and brushed her hair over her shoulder. "I couldn't be more ready."

He nodded and took her hand in his, squeezing it gently. "Neither could I."

They walked into the office then, and watched as the magistrate prepared the final paperwork and forms to be signed.

"Your driver's licenses and marriage license please," he stated, grabbing a couple of paperclips for the papers.

Joe handed over his driver's license along with the marriage license and Ella placed her driver's license next to Joe's.

"Alright, let me make copies of these for the file while you both sign this last form," he indicated Joe and Ella, "and we'll get started with the ceremony."

He walked over to the copier for a moment and the two quickly signed the form. The magistrate then returned to his desk and paper clipped all the documents together. Then he gave back their licenses, and came around his desk to stand before them.

"Joe, do you take Ella for your lawful wedded wife, to live in the holy estate of matrimony? Will you love, honor, comfort, and cherish her from this day forward, forsaking all others, keeping only unto her for as long as you both shall live?"

Joe smiled and squeezed Ella's hand. "I do."

"Ella, do you take Joe for your lawful wedded husband, to live in the holy estate of matrimony? Will you love, honor, comfort, and cherish him from this day forward, forsaking all others, keeping only unto him for as long as you both shall live?"

Ella smiled even as her eyes began to well up with tears. "I do."

"Do you have vows prepared for each other?"

They nodded, and Joe spoke first.

"Today, Ella Roberts, I take you to be my wife. I vow to love you and cherish you, to keep you safe and protect you always and at all costs. I promise to share the good times, and the bad. I swear I will always love you, and to be faithful to you. I will always be there when you need me, and to be the best husband I can be. I vow to make this day, and each day after, one that you will cherish. Now and forever."

Ella reached up and wiped a tear from her cheek and spoke softly, but clearly.

"Joe Seanoa, I've been dreaming of this day for over half my lifetime. You came into my life, and made all my dreams come true. I'm so proud to accept you as my husband. I vow to support and encourage you. To love you with all of my heart for the rest of our lives. I promise to be there in good times, and in bad, and to support you in every situation. I vow to never let anything come between us, and to put you before anyone else. And I vow to do anything and everything in my power to protect you as you've protected me—at all costs. I give you all my love, and all my life. O oe o lo'u ola—now and forever."

Joe's heart swelled when he heard Ella tell him he was her life in his native tongue. The fact she said the beautiful phrase in his language, made the words all the more special and meaningful.

The magistrate carried on with the ceremony then.

"The wedding ring is a symbol of eternity. It's an outward sign of an inward and spiritual bond which unites two hearts in endless love. And now as a token of your love and of your deep desire to be forever united in heart and soul, you— Joe—may place a ring on the finger of your bride."

Joe pulled out the matching band that went along with Ella's engagement ring, and placed it on her left ring finger.

"Ella, I give you this ring as a symbol of our vows, and with all I am, and all I have, I honor you. With this ring, I thee wed."

"And Ella, by the same token, you may place a ring on the finger of your groom."

Ella took the wedding ring bought for Joe and placed it on his left ring finger as well.

"Joe, I give you this ring as a symbol of our vows, and with all I am, and all I have, I honor you. With this ring, I thee wed."

"The ring is the symbol of the commitment which binds these two together. There are two rings because there are two people, each to make a contribution to the life of the other, and to their new life together." He looked at both Ella and Joe. "Now by the power vested in me, and in accordance with the laws of the State of Tennessee, I now pronounce you husband and wife." His eyes shifted to Joe then, "You may kiss your bride."

Joe smiled and leaned down, gently brushing his mouth over Ella's in a soft, tender kiss. "We're married now, Mrs. Seanoa," he whispered, gazing into her eyes.

Ella giggled happily and threw her arms around Joe. "We are, aren't we? I love you."

"I love you too," he said, kissing her again.

Ella turned then to Jeff and Nina. "We're married!"

Jeff and Nina were both crying, and not even trying to hide it.

"Be happy. Both of you. Be happy," Nina sniffled and smiled as she and Jeff pulled them both into a hug. "We love you both."

"We love you both too," Ella cried softly, and returned the hugs.

"You all have a wonderful night," the magistrate said kindly. "I think I will be closing up here, since you were my last appointment. The best of luck to you both," he said, smiling at the newly married couple.

"Thank you," Joe and Ella said in unison.

The four then headed down to the parking garage so the couple could head back to the house, and so Jeff and Nina could call for a cab to take them to their hotel.

Minutes later, both couples headed in opposite directions.

}i{}i{}i{}i{

AJ was cuddled up asleep with Jennifer and Kayla on the sofa, when the vibration of his phone woke him. He jumped slightly and managed to fish the phone out of his pocket without waking the two little girls.

"Hello?"

"AJ, it's Joe. Me and Ella are in the garage. Can you come unlock the door and let us in?"

"Yeah, give me a minute," AJ said quietly. "The girls fell asleep here on the sofa with me. I'll try not to wake them."

"Yeah, okay," Joe replied patiently.

A couple minutes later AJ was up and heading through the kitchen to the garage's door, letting Ella and Joe inside.

"Congratulations," he exclaimed, hugging his friends.

"Thanks, AJ," They both said, hugging him back.

"The girls are ready to go anytime," AJ reported. "I just need to get them out to the car."

"The car's ready too," Joe told him. "All their bags are in the back. So you just have to go directly to the hotel."

"Okay, if you can help me get the girls I'll get going."

Joe nodded and headed for the living room with AJ, while Ella stayed in the kitchen and began searching the refrigerator for some food to heat up. She had pulled out some meatloaf and scalloped potatoes when Joe and AJ walked through the kitchen, carrying her still-sleeping cousins out to the car.

Her absence of anxiety was no more. She wasn't afraid, exactly, just unsure. Her hands shook slightly, as she heard Joe re-enter the kitchen, then the door closing and locking. His silence did nothing to soothe her rattled nerves. I shouldn't have been so confident when Aunt Nina talked to me about this, she thought as she heard Joe punching in the security system's code.

Joe's slow deliberate footsteps were her undoing. She turned from the counter and faced him. His gaze was already fixed on her face as he continued toward her. She noticed he had already removed his suit jacket and tie and had draped them over a kitchen chair.

"I-I was just heating… A-are you h-hungry," she stuttered out. He nodded with an intensity in his black eyes that made Ella shiver. "It shouldn't take long," she prattled on. "I just need to heat up the meatloaf and potatoes, and-"

Joe was right in front of her then, and placed a finger over her lips. A slight smile tugged at the corners of his mouth, and he shook his head. "I'm not hungry for food." He closed in on her then, placing his hands on the counter tops on either side of her. His large frame gently pinned her against the counter.

Ella felt her face flame as his body pressed against her. He tilted her chin upward, forcing her to meet his gaze. Her breathing became uneven as she lost herself in his eyes.

"You're not tired," she asked, trying to stall a bit.

He shook his head again, brushing his thumb over her cheekbone. "Not in the least," he replied purposefully. "Are you?"

"N-no," she answered with honesty, and shook her head. She was torn. She wanted this night to happen, but she had to admit her nerves were starting to get the best of her.

"I can tell you're scared," Joe whispered, bringing his face down to hers. "Don't be," he said softly, a second before sweeping his mouth across hers. "I won't hurt you." She felt the tips of his fingers brush across her collar bone and reach up to caress her neck. Then his lips replaced his fingers, leaving the tender skin blazing. "I'll take it very…" He kissed her jaw. "…very…" His lips moved to her neck. "…slowly." He tasted the hollow of her throat, and then his mouth traveled ruthlessly back up her neck.

Ella felt his mouth brush lightly against her skin and gripped his forearms, which still had her pinned against the counters. Her pulse sped up as he kissed his way back up her neck, his teeth gently nipping her ever so often. A soft whimper escaped her lips, and finally, Joe's mouth found hers, bestowing her with a fiery kiss that left her head spinning.

"Joe," she managed to whisper shakily. Her nerves were finally ebbing away as his skilled mouth coaxed her into serenity.

"Are you ready to take this upstairs?"

Ella looked into his eyes and saw the hunger smoldering in their black depths. The effect his gaze had on her was mind-blowing. Her legs threatened to give way as she nodded. "Yes."

Stooping, he lifted her up into his arms in a bridal carry, and then carried her through the living room, across the foyer and up the stairs. Within moments they were in her bedroom and Joe stopped short, both of them taking notice of the decorating job their friends had done. Music played softly in the background as well. Ella recognized the current song to be a film score from The Last of the Mohicans.

"Oh, wow," Ella gasped. "It's beautiful."

"This screams Angelina and Talia got a hold of this room," Joe chuckled, closing the door and setting Ella on her feet. "But it is really nice."

"There's a note," Ella exclaimed, heading over to the night table. She picked up the small card and read it aloud:

Happy Valentine's to you both, and congratulations! Hope you enjoy the makeshift honeymoon suite and film scores (hey, there are some really beautiful ones on this cd, so shut up, Joe)!

We love you guys,

Talia and Angelina

"They thought of everything," Ella said softly, turning to Joe and smiling. "We've got great friends."

"Yes, we do," Joe agreed, walking toward her. "Let's not let their hard work go to waste."

She blushed, and smiled shyly. "Let me go change, okay? I bought something to wear for tonight."

"Okay," Joe said, kissing her softly. "Don't keep me waiting long," he teased with a twinkle in his eye.

She shook her head, giggling. "I won't."

With that, she headed into her bathroom to change, while Joe began unbuttoning his dress shirt and pulling it off. Next, he pulled off his pants, opting to leave his boxers on for the moment so as not to overwhelm Ella. Draping the garments across her desk chair, he spotted the picture of himself and Ella from when they were children, setting on the desk's surface. He remembered the day clearly. Ella had turned his face to hers, and he was clearly annoyed with her. She, however, was obviously smitten with him. Even then.

Why did everyone else know but me, he wondered. Sure, I realized she had a crush on me, but everyone else knew she was actually in love with me. Why did I take so long to figure it out? Seeing this picture, it was so unmistakable.

He moved over to the large bed and scattered pillows this way and that, eager to yank the puffy comforter back and get the bed ready.

The bathroom door opened then, and Joe turned to see Ella standing in the room clad in a white, satin, spaghetti-strapped nightie that stopped at the very top of her slender thighs. The lingerie had a plunging neckline that traveled all the way down to her belly button, revealing plenty of alabaster skin.

Joe couldn't take his eyes off her.

She'd unpinned her hair and let the bulk of it flow free down to her waist. She currently had a lock of it in her fingers, nervously coiling it and uncoiling it.

"Do I look okay? Or is this…" She trailed off and shifted her eyes away from Joe, suddenly feeling quite vulnerable. "I should go change-"

"No," Joe choked out, finally able to find his voice. He started toward her. "Don't. Don't change a thing."

Ella watched the hunger in his eyes escalate to starvation and she nearly took a step back from the intensity of his watchful black eyes. The next thing she knew, she was in his arms. His warm, naked chest burned against hers as he pulled her closer.

"Beautiful," he whispered, his eyes trailing from her face down her neck to the pale ivory of her bared shoulders. "Just stunning."

Her breath trembled from the passion of his gaze, and he smiled softly at her. "Just relax. It's okay," he said. "You know I won't hurt you. Not ever." She nodded, "I k-know. Just…a little nervous, is all."

"We'll go slow," he promised, dipping his head down. In the next instant, his mouth was on hers. His kisses started out light and soft, teasing pecks that woke her senses completely. Little by little, the kisses became firmer and more passionate. His mouth coaxed hers to open beneath his, and then he slipped his tongue past her lips, tasting her fully. She moaned softly, bringing her arms up around his neck and holding him tightly to her. Her fingers ran up through his thick hair and gently tangled into it. Joe groaned and melded their bodies even closer.

"Oh, Joe… Please…"

His fingers teasingly stroked over the skin of her back and sent a thrill coursing through her body.

Joe could tell her breathy plea had nothing to do with fear, so he kissed her again. He heard a broken cry escape from her lips and her nails dug into his shoulders as her head dropped back. He growled low in his throat as he kissed over her shoulders and exposed neck, being careful of her scars.

Ella felt a wall at her back then and Joe's mouth was on hers once more.

Then he was carrying her across the room toward the large bed.

Ella stroked his jaw as he carried her. She reached up and kissed him then, eager to show him she was no longer afraid. She ground her lips against his and relished the warmth of his mouth.

Joe reached the bed then and gently lay Ella down on it, amidst the colorful rose petals and dreamy sheets. Then he was lowering his large frame down next to hers…

[script101]

Worst Case Scenario (or "One by one I've watched illusions shattered")

THERE ARE NO SPOILERS. I HAVEN’T EVEN SEEN THE TRAILER. I shouldn’t have put the next episode’s title in the header. That was idiotic. I’m sorry.

I really was going to write off “Lie of the Land” as an aberration.

I got a refund from iTunes (a surprise!) no questions asked.

Twelve has been my favorite Doctor.

I had thoroughly enjoyed every episode until “Lie”. Even though I hadn’t bought “Knock Knock” I didn’t dislike it.

I thought “Extremis” was brilliant.

I liked Pyramid and expected that the problems others had noted in it would be plot points that would have been addressed and resolved in part three. For example, “they needed to be loved” but they clearly weren’t. No problem. They just took that emotion and laundered it towards themselves. The combination lock that didn’t look like anything I’d ever seen, had no indentations for numbers and no Braille markings? No problem. It was a trap. They were intentionally trying to catch a Time Lord. The monks had set a “vanity trap” and Twelve walked right into it. The lock? “Perception filter” The implausibly of the sonic NOT simply opening the door? No problem. See above: it was a trap specifically designed for Twelve. The reason the earth was at its weakest at that particular moment? Duh! It’s protector was afraid to tell anyone he was blind and was still in completely denial of his injury. That would have been moving. Having Bill or Nardole call him out on his inability to trust others and ask why? Cut to the final scene of him and Missy in the prison vault.

Easy peasy.

BUT Toby Whithouse instead wrote intellectually and viscerally offensive garbage.

No problem, as I said, just pretend it never happened.

EXCEPT NOW I CAN’T.

TWELVE’S ABUSE AND MANIPULATION OF BILL IN “LIE” IS CLEARLY A DIRECT PARALLEL TO THE MASTER’S ABUSE AND MANIPULATION OF BILL IN “WORLD ENOUGH AND TIME”

And the events of the last episode are central to the events in the one airing this weekend.

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I just read Whovian Feminism’s review of “Lie of the Land”.

I disagree with most of it.

I DO blame the writer, Toby Whithouse. Why? Because if you need non-stop narration from multiple characters, your script sucks. There’s no way around it. If you are writing human characters and those humans do not act or react like humans, your script sucks.

I maintain that the director, Wayne Yip, made every wrong choice possible. Did ya’ not palpably feel the tension caused by the janitor waving the gun around “World Enough and Time” as opposed to the gun being aimed in “Lie” when we KNEW that we were in the room where the “regeneration from the preseason promos” was going to happen?

I am glad that Whovian Feminism noted the cruelty of Twelve intentionally making Bill shoot him, but I’m disappointed that they let the character (and the writer) off so easily.

I had been using the word “Evil” since the Doctor is an imaginary alien from an imaginary planet. I wasn’t keen to “diagnose” him as a psychopath since I have no idea if this fictional species has an orbital prefrontal cortex.

But, since budget means the inhabitants of Earth and the inhabitants of Gallifrey look exactly the same, and since “kin selection” is a real phenomena that (among other things) causes people to feel naturally inclined to protect those who look similar to them, and since Robert Hare has described psychopaths “interspecies predators” who are lacking the moral compass that all but DEFINES humanity, I’m not saying “Evil” anymore.

Maybe Twelve suffered brain damage in “Oxygen”, maybe not, but as of “Lie of the Land” and every episode that followed, Twelve has been a psychopath.

Twelve is no better than the master.

(You might want an “air sickness bag” handy. I’m not kidding.)

I really was going to drop this and just pretend “Lie of the Land” never happened, I WANTED to, but “World Enough and Time” has made it impossible, because the way the Doctor cruelly manipulated Bill for his own comfort and lolz after insinuating himself into her life as a parental figure is directly paralleled with how the Master cruelly manipulated Bill for his own usage and lolz after insinuating himself into her life as a parental figure.

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It truly is remarkable how “Lie” managed to push every button it could have pushed.

I’m against the death penalty (I’m sure that was obvious) in all but one instance: treason.

I refuse to give them credit for the reference they were trying to make, but since The Doctor had been given the (laughably absurd) status of “President” of the earth, he was guilty of High Treason (pffft I’d have to make up a term to accurately describe the extent of what he did while under absolutely no duress!).

Twelve specifically had accepted the title of President, and he had accepted the responsibility of protecting the earth. Twelve did not just fail to protect the humans he had agreed to protect for SIX FULL MONTHS (and there was no hint at any mitigating motive despite non-stop narration; awful writing), Twelve actively aided and abetted a malevolent occupation of the planet.

Gaslighting is not funny.

No person should be toyed with to force them into the horrible corner of being judge, jury, and executioner. But this is what Twelve did to Bill. This was his INTENT. “Designed and directed”. Intentionally.

(And yes, Bill was indeed Twelve’s toy in a game for the lolz. We saw the laughing and were explicitly told it was a test. Compare and contrast with the Master’s treatment of Bill in “World Enough and Time”. The only difference is that Twelve is given a free pass for his sin.

Consider the circumstances. Bill had endured six months of extreme emotional duress, we saw she was so far over the edge that she was able to turn on waking daytime hallucinations of her mother with less effort than required to turn on a light, she was the victim of active gas lighting by Twelve because of his propaganda commercials, and this ALL culminated in her being terrorized with the promise of betrayal by Twelve in the white office (he called for armed guards the moment she entered, he pretended to phone the nightmarish monks, and he announced to the room that she was trying to speak to him in code). Each act was terrorizing. Each act was a betrayal. Each act was a knife in the heart that we saw vaporized in “World Enough and Time.”

Because of this, because of the extreme emotional duress Twelve inflicted upon her for absolutely no reason at all, Bill is, in my eyes, NOT guilty of the 1st Degree Murder she believed she was committing. He had committed unthinkable treason, intended to continue his treason, and she knew he could erase people’s memories and that the monks were brainwashing people. She was forced to shoot to kill. Twelve WANTED HER TO. For the lolz.

That crap was inexcusable! Ya know what else was inexcusable? The fact that everything individually and combined was horrifically traumatic but Whithouse’s lazy script couldn’t be bothered to address this.

By giving Twelve a free pass, by having him not recognize and apologize profusely for the psychological torture he inflicted on Bill by manipulating her to serve his own ends in “Lie”, Whithouse made Twelve no better than the Master when he in turn manipulated Bill to serve his own ends in “World Enough”. They would have remained directly related, but Toby Whithouse’s shitty script and Wayne Yip’s shitty directing had the gall to simply try to PRETEND that aiming a gun at someone you love and shooting that person FOUR ::coughFOURcough:: times with the intent to kill that person wouldn’t be deeply traumatizing.

Bill should have had a meltdown. A male character would have had a meltdown too. Because that is what a normal human reaction would be after willfully murdering someone they had loved.

Instead they showed Bill get angry at Nardole (nope, sorry: the audience was explicitly told in “Smile” that “dry brains” thought differently than “wet brains”).

Whithouse lazily tried to distract viewers from the fallout of The Doctor’s disgusting abuse and manipulation Bill with a cheap joke (oh my! Swearing! On my tv machine! How fucking shocking! Oh my, I feel the vapors coming on! Where oh where is my fainting couch?)

Immediately after Bill shot him, she should have had a breakdown.

Before anyone says that I hit the nail on the head and maybe that is the reason for the title of the next episode: yes, maybe we WERE supposed to see a parallel between the despicable actions of the Doctor and the despicable actions of the Master, but I want to point out that THAT DOES NOT MEAN THERE IS POTENTIALLY A DRAMATIC EXCUSE FOR TWELVE TO HAVE NOT CORRECTLY REALIZED THAT THE SPECIFIC DETAILS OF WHAT HE HAD ORCHESTRATED IN THAT ROOM WERE HORRIFICALLY CRUEL AND WRONG….

•while ALSO failing to realize that it was part of a larger pattern of behavior. •while STILL having Twelve not grasp that everything that happened was his fault (how about: The earth was at its weakest at that moment because its alien hero who promised to protect it was too scared to tell anyone he was blind?). •Twelve could have realized IN THE WHITE OFFICE how badly he had hurt Bill while STILL arrogantly claiming personal credit for what Bill did at the end of “Lie” that drowned out the Monks brainwashing. •Twelve could have been completely genuinely sorry for terrorizing Bill in the White Room, could have painfully regretted it, and then STILL made the mistake of hounding Bill and Nardole into the idiotic “Test” of Missy that (appears to have) destroyed Bill.

Indeed, if Twelve HAD been horrified by how terribly he had hurt Bill in “Lie”, if had truly regretted what he had done and apologized and reassured he that she had done nothing wrong (even without recognizing the larger picture of his own arrogance and recklessness), “World Enough and Time” would have worked BETTER. Why? Because without an apology and sincere regret from Twelve after he goading her into firing that gun with the intent to kill him, there is currently no plausible reason why any human would ever trust, let alone be anywhere near, The Doctor again. Male or female, THERE IS NO HUMAN WHO WOULD EVER TRUST HIM AGAIN.

Why does Bill still trust or even still care about the Doctor? Why isn’t she flat out terrified of him? There is no human who wouldn’t have gone home to their foster mom, said, “you were right about that professor”, packed their bags, and attempted to get as far away from him as possible. If her foster mom did as any one would and attempted to go to the University to scream at him and demand to know what he did to frighten her foster daughter so terribly, Bill would only need to say WHAT SHE HAS KNOWN since “Thin Ice”: THE DOCTOR HAS KILLED PEOPLE.

Without Twelve sincerely apologizing for what he did in “Lie” PLEASE explain, in terms of plausible human behavior, why Bill is still spending time with The Doctor?

The ONLY REASON SHE WENT ALONG FOR MISSY’S “TEST” WAS BECAUSE SHE CARED ABOUT TWELVE.

THE ONLY REASON BILL CARED ABOUT TWELVE IS BECAUSE SHE TRUSTED HIM MORE THAN SHE TRUSTED HER OWN INTUITION THAT THIS TEST WAS A BAD IDEA.

For “World Enough and Time” to be plausible without pretending “Lie of the Land” never happened, we needed an apology that was never given.

“Lie of the Land” was shit. The script was shit. The directing was shit. The premise was shit. The episode was shit.

And having seen “World Enough and Time”, I now believe “Lie of the Land” wasn’t simply a bad episode that I can forget and ignore, it was poorly executed deliberate foreshadowing.

Deliberate foreshadowing that unfortunately has no plausible human motivation allowing it to ring true.

Twelve is a psychopath. He crossed The Moral Event Horizon and I can’t just pretend it never happened.

Twelve was my favorite by a mile. Now? I’m disgusted.

It IS possible for them to write themselves out of the 6 foot hole they dug for this character and the entire show. But if I can’t simply write off “Lie of the Land” as no more than a lousy episode with a crappy script that was directed with less artistry than a cell phone video??? All I can say is that Steven Moffat and Rachel Talalay will have needed to have written and directed something capable of fixing this in 50 minutes minus opening and closing music. They will need to have written something far better than I can imagine.

It’s possible.

I hope that they can salvage this. Honestly and with tremendous sadness. I really really do.