#i've never been this far behind idk how people catch up

[somnesca]

God what is going on over there with Bell's Hells. I am so woefully behind that spoilers mean almost nothing 😭

[variousqueerthings]

I've just been spending the last few hours thinking about this ending that I haven't even thought about the whole rest of the episode, I've gotta. I've gotta just

oh boy I've gotta just fuckn

nothing about donna or fourteen or fifteen here just all the rest

1- at first I was thinking that the toymaker was defeated in kind of a simple way, but then on the other hand it's more a setup for some of the things we know is coming in ncuti gatwa's era, with classic!who gods. so the toymaker, yes, gives the opportunity to wrap up this past era and for DT to do those big sad wet eyes of his, but is far more for the next story's benefit in the long run from the sounds of things. also the behind-the-scenes for the game of catch is hilarious. NPH was so good, would be cool to see the toymaker make a reprise just with gatwa

2- ohhhhhhhhhh the Puppetry in this episode! PUPPETS! I am soooo into puppets, I could have spent a million episodes with these creepy fucking puppets, I hope we get more puppets

3- AND speaking of the toymaker, the master in the toymaker's tooth???? I haven't seen dhawan yet, so idk how that all ends, but I did not expect master setup, and I am very happy we did because the master is my favourite (derogatory, what a bitch)

4- RTD talking about the puppet that was broadcast on TV, I knew about that puppet (from getting a quiz answer wrong relatively recently lol), but giving that little historical Moment, now we all know a bit more, I just think it's neat

5- I am still not a fan of UNIT. every time we meet them they're a military force with weaponry that has the potential to do so much harm and... then they lose control of that weaponry. and also do weapons-related stuff that often makes the situation worse. I feel similarly of classic!UNIT who do manage to help out more on the whole, but still are fundamentally military and several times have people who do Bad Shit. dunno, still trying to figure out their place in this narrative other than convenient guns when we need guns. I want them to be more complicated if they come back for the next era, I'd be interested if shirley-ann bingham became a liz shaw type and really questions the limitations and biases that exist within UNIT

6- wait no, going back to point the first I'm soooo excited for the things they've hinted at, stories about gods are my whole damn jam, it's going to be amazing!

7- them playing the prime minister saying he doesn't care about anybody and donna goes "same as always" (or however she says it), listen, it's low-hanging fruit and I am eating it, anything dragging the british government and right wing sentiment is good and necessary for my soul personally

8- one really big Thing is no martha. will never get that closure RIP. argh though freema agyeman and ncuti gatwa could do great things together I think, cmon. one day

I'm sure more things will come up as I think about it, but off the top of my head

[lastoneout]

@dittolicous I'm slapping these tags into a new post bcs it made me realize I might be weird and wanted to know of anyone else is weird in the same way.

Because like my fear of heights only seems to manifest on man-made structures? Before my disabilities got bad enough that I couldn't hike I used to climb up on top of really tall stuff all the time, like I would hang out on the Devil's Bridge in Sedona and not feel even a little bit scared, but like climbing up say the stairs to go down a water slide is enough to make me shake and have to not look down/get too close to the railing at the edge. The idea of going to the top of a skyscraper—and I mean like just the top floor inside, not like an observation deck or anything—makes my hands sweat(did you know they SWAY in the wind?????) but I've hung out right at the very edge of the Grand Canyon several times and I've never felt more at peace.

The only man-made structures that don't bother me are roller coasters(kinda), airplanes, and weirdly some playground equipment? Roller coasters are only fine if we stay moving tho, if the thing broke when we were really high up and we had to get rescued I would be a complete mess, but like, as long as we stay moving I love them. Carnival rides are a mixed bag, I enjoy going on ferris wheels but they do scare the shit out of me, and I just won't get on most other rides that go super high up in the air. Airplanes are okay because I understand the science behind it?? It makes sense(and when you take off you can feel the air catch the plane) so I just don't get scared, though if I was in like a skydiving plane that's open I would probably freak out. The logic behind playground equipment is a mystery to me, maybe bcs it's literally made for climbing?? No clue.

And like, I watch a lot of videos of people climbing cellphone towers and skyscrapers specifically bcs they scare me SO much that it works to get rid of my anxiety if I'm freaking out about something. All of my problems seem so small because at least I'm not on top of one of those fucking things. But I do actually really like watching The Walk, idk it makes me scared so bad but I love it.

The only natural structure that scares me is trees. Idk what it is about trees, especially bcs I do like climbing them, but I usually struggle to get down without help.

This also made me remember I used to have vhs tapes with episodes of the Madeline cartoon and in one episode she and her friend get stuck at the top of the Eiffel Tower and despite the fact that I have actually BEEN TO PARIS and WENT UP TO THE TOP OF THAT VERY STRUCTURE and it didn't bother me so much, that episode made me so scared I couldn't watch it. Like wtf is that about??

I've also always wanted to be able to fly or be a witch like in Kiki's Delivery Service. Idk how my brain would react to that tho since it's impossible, but I assume it would land in the "it makes sense so it doesn't bother me" category.

So yeah idk man-made structures are bad and scary because I guess I just don't trust humans to make sturdy things that won't fall down(aside from airplanes and playground equipment bcs those make sense)?? But mountains and cliffs and stuff have been there for like millions of years so I trust that they will stay under my feet and thus I don't get scared by them at all.

And like I know it's weird that I'm like this because my fiancé is ALSO scared of heights(which I find hilarious because he's 6'3" and when he picks me up so my head is level with his it makes me scared because "the ground is too far away") but he doesn't like going up on top of anything. Airplanes, rollercoasters that go upside down, tall buildings, mountains and other rock structures, it ALL triggers his phobia. He won't even let me open the window shade when we fly together, it's that bad. Idk why I'm not like that.

Anyway @ anyone else who's scared of heights:

[404writes]

being raised by daryl dixon: part one

Masterlist!! Get added to my taglist!!

Being raised by Daryl Dixon masterlist!! Being raised by Daryl Dixon taglist!!

A/N: this is just a little freestyle thing (idk if you can even call it a fic) i wrote. easing back into writing and i've been wanting to make a post like this for a while! hope you enjoy, mwah mwah <3333

-S404

note-able that y/n is the same age as carl. y/n is more feminine, although i believe it is easy enough to brush off if needed.

word count: 1k-ish

At the start, Daryl was just another member of the group, if it weren't for his temper and tendency to separate himself from the bunch, you probably would have been too caught up in everything else to notice him.

You were interested in what business he had being around the group, he didn't fit in whatsoever. Occasionally, Shane or Rick would catch you staring at him curiously, they'd redirect you every time, they didn't want you bothering him.

After getting over the hurt of losing his brother, Daryl started to involve himself in the group and became helpful. At some point he began noticing you.

You'd been orphaned shortly after the beginning of the apocalypse, both parents dying on the highway into Atlanta. If it weren't for Carol a few cars behind, immediately taking you in with her family (much to Ed's dismay), you would have died there too.

After learning that information, as well as of the hesitance of the others to take you under their wing, Daryl constantly kept an eye out for you from a distance.

It first happened around the campfire at dinnertime. He'd notice you weren't sitting with the kids, and would be quick to appear at your side. He'd look at you, decide you were getting too thin, and shovel half his food onto your plate most nights. Of course, making sure no one was looking at his display of affection first before taking action.

Still, he never spoke a word to you, and wouldn't be caught tending to you if there were others observing, he couldn't let himself be seen as weak, or 'motherly' as Merle would call him if he was there to see.

Daryl didn't know how to care for a child, that was apparent. He'd watch Carol during the day, and see how she loved you and made you smile. He took serious mental notes.

He got better as time went on, asking "How're ya doin' kiddo?" frequently, and letting it be known to the rest of the group that this kid was his. You tried to hug him a couple of times, but his still stature made it clear this wasn't something he was open to.

At the CDC you saw him happy, he was laughing and conversing with the rest of the group, cracking jokes and getting along with people. It was definitely a sight.

At dinner one night, Rick let Carl try some wine, afterwards you looked straight over at Daryl and he said "No way in hell," to which everyone laughed. He never said anything, but that moment was special to him, he knew he had won you over after that, you had looked to him for approval first in that moment, even though it was over something so trivial.

Daryl was furious at Dr Jenner after he revealed the CDC was going to self-destruct, not because he was betrayed, but because you were. Shane had to restrain him from punching the Dr square in the face.

Everyone grew bleak after the CDC, especially after Sophia went missing. You lost Daryl for a while there, he was gone all day and even nights sometimes, searching for her. You spent all your time with Lori, sitting with Carl, you two had grown close.

One night after returning to the highway, Daryl noticed you waiting on top of the RV with Carol, it took him a while to realise you had been waiting for him. It clocked to him how absent he'd been. He came back with a stuffed bear for you the next day.

After Carl got shot, a lot changed. No one had attention to give you, except for Carol. So far she had acted as a maternal figure to you, her presence brought you comfort whilst Daryl was gone, you knew he trusted her. She was projecting her lost daughter to some extent, and you were aware of that, but you let her braid your hair and tuck you in at night anyways.

A few days into your stay at the farm, you were reading a book next to Carol when Maggie came over to introduce herself. She thought you were Carol's daughter, which stung for both parties. Later that night whilst looking for Daryl, you stumbled across Carol crying to him about the earlier exchange.

You watched Sophia stumble out of the barn, you were in the back of the crowd. Everyone fell silent, frozen, some cried, you just stood there. You weren't exactly close with Sophia, but it felt more real than any death you'd experienced thus far. Daryl had to restrain Carol for several minutes, although after the first the hold seemed like more of an embrace.

Eventually, after everyone else had left the scene, you walked up to the pair who remained. Daryl, upon seeing you, moved closer, he held you in his arms for the first time and did not let go. In that moment, he swore to never let you meet that kind of fate.

You watched him blame himself for Sophia's death for months. You'd stay awake some nights and eavesdrop on him and Carol talking. He'd be talking to her about everything that had happened, and without prompting, she'd periodically tell him it wasn't his fault, that he couldn't have prevented it, and that she didn't blame him. He hated that it worked.

On the night the barn burnt down, you had been playing cards with Glenn, you left in a car with him and Maggie. He drove as Maggie held you in the backseat, you were weeping, scared of the uncertainty in the group's survival.

Your group was the last to make it to the highway, everyone was relieved instantly after your arrival. Although you had all mostly made it to this checkpoint safe, the group had to deal with the question, where to next?

~

taglist: @unadulterated-syd

[tboywriter]

Anywhere | Spike Spiegel x reader

pictures not mine, edit is mine gender neutral reader edited: yes warnings: angst, swearing, canon-level violence/blood, ambiguous ending, low-key/ possible death summary: Flying is the fastest form of travel but it always feels much slower when you need to be somewhere. Anywhere. a/n: idk why I've only been posting Spike smh. I have two other fics in the works for him too... I swear I write for other people I just never finish the fics... Also don't judge the song choice -- I started this a while ago and I don't have a good replacement.

♡ ♡ ♡

“Shit. Shit. Shit!” Spike was pacing, his hand running through his thick green curls. 

“I’m fine, Spike. I really am.” He knew you weren’t fine. The shock covered a lot of the pain so you weren’t technically lying, but the situation was much worse than you actually knew. Spike had to mentally slap himself. If Jet or Faye were there he would have asked them to hit him for real. He deserved much more than that. 

He stopped and kneeled down in front of you. His eyes were trying to look into your own but you couldn’t focus. “Come on,” He brushed your cheek with his thumb. “I know where to go.” He didn’t have much time to lose and he had already wasted so much being dumb. He was pacing and worrying when he should have been flying. Taking you somewhere. Anywhere. 

He came over and lifted you as gently as he could. He was trying to be quick and ended up a little rough in his haste. You winced and he wanted to slap himself again for hurting you. He lowered into the Swordfish the best he could, arms around you as you tried your best to place your feet on the floor. Eventually he got into his seat and sat you across his lap, your head fell on his shoulder.

The ship was starting up, but it wasn’t fast enough for Spike. His whitened knuckles gripped the steering wheel with such force even the half dazed (Y/n) had noticed. “Calm down. Don’t stress yourself out… It’s alright.”

“Calm down? How can I--” He sighed. There was no use fighting with you. You were always so selfless, even when you were dying. He didn’t want to upset you, anyways. He didn’t know what you needed now except a doctor. But yelling at you didn’t seem like it would help.

“Spike.” He looked down at your tired eyes. Space was fleeting past, it was good they were in deep space or he might’ve gotten a ticket. Deep space, though, did not have any doctors. He originally thought of going to Jet on the Bebop but his level of expertise and available technology was far less than what you needed. 

“Spike, it hurts…” Your eyebrows knit together loosely, obviously in pain but too weak to show it. 

“I know, sweetheart. I know.” He kissed your forehead lightly and you moved in closer to him. Your cold nose brushed against his neck causing him to shiver. You two were already a bit stuffed in the small ship, but you appreciated his comfort. His warmth. 

The two of you never left the other’s sides, even when he was catching the most dangerous bounties. You weren’t a bounty hunter, just some stray the crew had picked up. They had a knack for doing that. Spike knew you shouldn’t come along but he felt so protective of you. He never could find the strength to leave you behind, especially when you gave him those puppy eyes. The two of you were used to being abandoned and you neither wanted it to happen again. This made your friendship a really… close one. 

Spike looked back up at the stars in front of him. He had no clue if he could find help where he was going but he needed to try. He was rushing to the closest planet, whatever one that might be. If he were to ruin another life because of his selfishness… 

“Can we listen to music?” Spike was not in the mood for music, but he also wasn’t in the mood for making you feel worse than you already did. He clicked on the system, your music already hooked up from the amount of times you ride with him. 

The song that came on was some old one that (Y/n) had found. It was from nearly 60 years ago now, from some genre Spike never cared about. (Y/n) loved it, though. You liked all the sad and relatable lyrics, the ones that you tried to mouth along to now. The ones that were piercing through Spike’s heart. 

“Thinking about the past again. Darling, you'll be okay.” Spike couldn’t help but really listen to the words. The music he always poked fun at you for listening to was the same music that would be there to mock him as you died in his arms. ‘It’s both loud and sad, why do you like this again?’ ‘It’s called emo music,’ you had told him. ‘Emo means emotional! You’re supposed to find it sad and relatable.’

The next song came on and he could no longer hear your soft singing. You knew all the words and never missed a chance to sing along to it when you could. He looked down, seeing your eyes closed peacefully. 

“(Y/n)?” As much as he was glad to see you rest, he couldn’t really tell the difference between your napping and, well. You were always such a soft breather too, always wanting to remain ignored and unseen, even while asleep. 

“I’m awake… But really tired.” You spoke with your eyes closed, unable to find the strength to open them again. You pushed your face into Spike's neck, trying to get more comfortable under the circumstances. “Let me take a nap.”

“I know you’re tired… Just, don’t go to sleep. Okay?” 

Turning your head to look up at him, you finally opened your eyes enough to take in the stress radiating from your best friend. “Nothing’s going to happen, Spike. Stop worrying.” You lifted a hand up to his cheek, trying to calm him but doing a bit of the opposite. “Oh, oh no. I’m so sorry I--” You pulled down your sweatshirt sleeve to cover your hand, trying to use it to wipe the blood you’d just left on Spike’s face.

He didn’t care about getting blood on him but he did care that the blood was coming from you. He was trying not to look down at the source of the blood. The wound had long soaked through your shirt and had made a good stain through your sweatshirt. 

It was a miracle you were doing this well (if you could call it that) after all this time had passed. Spike didn’t want to push his luck. The city’s horizon gleamed ahead, Mars had never seemed so beautiful. He let his mind wander away from you for a moment. He wondered what he’d explain to the doctor. He’d have to come up with a good story for the police, too. With all the wealth in the city, more of them were jumping for a chance to find crime and then be paid off to ignore it. 

“We’re almost there.” Spike spoke at you but never looked down, too busy trying to find someone who could save you. If it could be done. You didn’t respond, already passed out again. Spike didn’t really have the flexibility to steer and wake you up at the same time. His head began to throb, stress taking over. It hurt like hell, but it was nothing compared to what you must feel. 

“(Y/n)? (Y/n)!?” You stirred a bit, swatting him weakly. 

“I’m sleeping…” 

Spike's voice got softer, content that you were okay. Well, okay enough to respond. “Now’s not the time to go to sleep. We’re almost there, okay?” 

“But I'm tired now.” You were acting like a child, half cute and half from delirium. 

“I know, I know. You can sleep on the Bebop later. For now you have to stay awake. I don’t know how bad this thing is.” His eyes only flickered to your wound, unable to look longer. You sighed, done with him being melodramatic. 

Spike didn’t think he was being dramatic. You just had to save that kid. You had to risk your life and play the hero. You had to go and get shot near all of your major organs. 

“I’m fine. With the amount of times… Jet has had to wrap up your whole body… I’m surprised this… tiny thing… worries you.” Your speech had slowed significantly. It took considerably more effort to get even one word out now, much less an entire sentence. Even you, in your dubious state, couldn’t argue that there wasn’t something wrong. 

Spike opened his mouth to retort but retracted quickly. Once again, there was no point in arguing now, he’d do it later when you were not dying in his arms. He was a lot stronger than you were and had been in this rough business a lot longer. He was highly trained and had much more restraint. Jet wasn’t a real doctor either, everytime Spike was completely bandaged the wrap job was probably a bit exaggerated. And even then he was stuck on couch rest for weeks. He, in all of his years of practice and development, could take it. You were strong mentally, sure. You were the most strong and stable thing in Spike’s life. But this wasn’t exactly a willpower sort of thing.

“I can’t wait for you to get better so I can yell at you for how reckless you were.” He tried to lighten the mood rather unsuccessfully. You laughed softly, ending in a rough cough. You raised your sleeved arm to cover your mouth but when you brought it away it was stained red. 

You tried to ignore this. Hopefully Spike hadn’t seen. “You’re too nice to yell.”

“I’ll get Faye to yell at you then.” You smiled, happy for the casual conversation. It wasn’t meant to last, though, as another coughing fit began. Spike looked down again to try and calm you, but he quickly noticed how your gray sweatshirt turned dark and how the inside of your lips were tinted red.

“Shit, (Y/n). We need to hurry up. You’re coughing up blood.” You were about to reply with something snarky but you’d used up all your words. You moaned, the pain starting to come back. You couldn’t believe the shock had lasted this long. 

The ship began to land outside of a pristine white building, a red cross above the front door. You were not supposed to park there, but Spike didn’t care. There was only one thing he cared about now. 

You moaned again, softly whimpering into his jacket. He kissed the top of your head before quickly opening the Swordfish’s hatch. “You’re going to be okay. We’re here. You’re okay.” You didn’t know if he was convincing you or himself but his rough voice was the last thing you heard before blacking out. 

[imogenleewriter]

✨ Twenty Questions for Fic Writers ✨

THANK YOU @nouies FOR THE TAG!! I'd missed the notif and was reading yours and thinking it looked fun to do and then when I got to the bottom I saw you'd tagged me.

1. How many works do you have on AO3? 

5 but one is a WIP

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

581,554 - which is pretty decent for less than a year, I think lol

3. What fandoms do you write for?

one direction 

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

You Can Hear It In The Silence

You, Me (and everyone we know) - Which is crazy because it's the WIP!

Save Me (from myself)

You're Not My Type (still I fall)

I Hope You Choke (on those words) - which is like my neglected child. I always forget it exists and literally never mention it.

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? WELL, I used to and it was something I prided myself on. But, well, I am so extremely lucky to have such a loud, and talkative readership who are insanely loud and talkative... I've been trying to catch up, but I'm still about 2 months behind and that's after me giving up on like 7 chapters of ymaewk. It was just getting too hard to try and catch up so I cut my losses and am just going from the chapter I'm up to. I will one day. But also, some of those comments are like 4 months old now, so people might not want answers to those? It must be annoying to get emails for those, right? RIGHT?

But in general YES! And it's something I feel really passionately about. If someone goes to the effort to write a comment, I really think they deserve a reply - and a decent one. All that being said, I think everyone kind of thinks that way? Like I've never commented on a fic and not gotten a reply?? So I'm pretty sure everyone replies.

6. What is a fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? None? Angsty endings aren't really my thing, and I don't think they ever will be. I want everything wrapped up as neatly as possible. I guess maybe I hope you choke, because it's only 3k words, so it's not like... fully resolved? But there isn't much to resolve.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? Hopefully all of them?? I think maybe ychiits because it was really, really well resolved? Like... every single thread was tied. You're Not My Type also had a really happy one but it's such a soft fic that I don't think it would ever not.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

A little. A lot less than I deserve, tbh lol. The main place I've seen it is in bookmarks, so now I just don't check the bookmarks. (if you're going to bookmark a fic with criticism, make it private).

I do get a few... odd comments. Like they're not hate, but they're just... idk how to explain it without signalling comments out. In a fic discord group, I'm in with like 70 members. There is literally a sticker that says 'Imogen's comment complaint time,' for me to use when I... complain about those comments, lol.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Yeah. Very consensual, often awkward smut lol. Like to keep it real.

10. Do you write crossovers? What the craziest one you've written?

Nope.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

No. At least not as far as I'm aware and I'm sure someone would tell me if I had.

I've been accused of 'stealing' fics... twice. But both times were by anons who hadn't actually read the fics, and had just read the summaries/tags... and both times were low-key ridiculous (again, I say this as if I didn't cry both times... and have to turn anon comments off).

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yeah... actually... I think one has been done and I haven't linked it yet. Shit. So I'm pretty sure that ychiits has two (one that I haven't linked) and someone is doing SMFM now. I currently have a rule that it can only go on ao3, and not Wattpad but I'm low-key thinking about changing it. In fact, I'm kind of thinking about uploading them to Wattpad... it's just no one ever does it and I don't know if there is a reason for not doing it??? Is there are reason? Why don't people upload to Wattpad??

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No, but @hereforh and I are in the process of writing one!

14. What's your all-time favorite ship?

Larry. The only time I've read other ships is when I've been reading smut lol. And that's more about the smut than the ship.

15. What's a wip you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

I always think of WIPs as in ones I've started uploading lol. And I always intend to finish those. But WIP as in started but not uploaded? Yeah, heaps!

16. What are your writing strengths?

Dialogue, relatively authentic characters, and complex plots.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Literally everything else. I feel like my writing technique is ... shit, tbh. I'm really surprised no one ever says it. I do feel like it's improved a bit, but yeah, still shit.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I think if I was going to write much of it, I'd find someone who spoke it well. I'm not really sure when I'd need to do it though.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

I always say I never wrote fanfic until One Direction but I'm not ENTIRELY sure that's true. When I was a young teenager, I used to read All Time Low fanfiction on Quizilla and I did upload some stuff there. As far as I can remember, they were all original fiction but it's possible I wrote an ATL one. I know I wrote a tiny one based on the song Self-Conclusion by The Spill Canvas. I think it was literally using the dialogue from the song and then writing around it.

20. Favorite fic you've written? 

Oooooh, so tricky. I love them all for different reasons. Ychiits will always be my baby forever and ever.

Probably YMAEWK, and the only thing that stops me from being sure it's that one is just that it's less relatable. Like I know with ychiits and even SMFM, people saw themselves in the characters and story. Whereas I feel like it's harder to relate to ymaewk and long term, it might not have as big of an impact. BUT, I do love those boys soooo much and love the story. So, yeah, probably ymaewk.

Anddddddd (sorry if you've already been tagged and obviously no pressure) I tag @hereforh @nooradeservedbetter @lunarheslwt @enchantedlandcoffee @thelavendrhaze and anyone else who wants to do it!

[sharonisthebettercarter]

I can never take that drbat clown person seriously. All they do is complain about anonymous confessions while being a hypocrite spamming confession blogs. They sound so bitter at the world honestly.

i think everyone's got issues, and i mean, i can't lie, i've clearly got issues.

don't get me wrong, i get what you mean, some a the shit physician batsy says or even likes while knowing how disingenuous it is does rub the wrong way and deeply concerns me, and i have noticed that (not limited to batsy or even this blog in general) some of the frequenters and responders to confessions have a bit of a problem where the anon's opinion is taken personally despite it not really being negative towards them or saying anything about the "other side" so to speak that they i guess consider themselves a part of. or even and there's a LOT of this, when the confession points out a genuine but general problem in fandom, instead of being open to discussing the problem and acknowledging it, they try to shut down the conversation by being nasty to the confessor or denying the problem happens (ex: pretty privilege)

i've seen a lot of fairly neutral confessions get commenters fighting with the confession and even sometimes trying to disagree with a confession that is agreeing with them. it's a weird and sometimes hilarious phenomena i've noticed (and again not limited here) that i think mostly stems from bad reading comprehension and assumed intent (and assumed identity of confessors/trying to figure out who the confessors are/straight up insulting or bullying the confessors because... idk, i guess people feel better about bullying when they can hide behind a screen and not connect a human being to the otherside)

i have gotten mad a few times and let that get the better of me, and i'll admit that. there are some pretty shitty confessions sometimes that are hurtful or insulting to fans, there's nonsensical trolling shit which is less harmful but can be annoying, and then there's people trying to cause harm (the valkyrie antis remind me a lot of the sharon antis, except they actually have a legitimate point to make about the character's writing, but they take it too far a lot of times over something fictional and are willing to bully and insult the fans themselves for not agreeing, that's the problem)

i try to ignore most confessions that don't address or attack me (or people like me/fans of certain characters) in any way, especially if just a positive confession on a character. even if i die hard disagree with it. (strictly positive peggy confessions that don't attack sharon or insult fans of sharon/non-fans of peggy as an example, i try not to reply to them cause i'm not just aiming to be that random asshole, i'm trying to educate where appropriate, maybe live and laugh a little too), and reblog the stuff i do like (i need to catch up on lots of shit, way behind on that but been distracted and dealing with life...)

but i do know what you're talkin' about. i wanna hope that people will grow out of the behavior, but i also know that some people thrive on conflict and are addicted to it. i don't get how, but i know it happens. i have half a mind to believe mcfuzzshizzjizzshizzizzface is one of them, cause probably one of the biggest confessor bullies i've seen and of the one interaction i had with the dude, it was weird enough to make me think mcfuzzishizz started a whole new account just to argue with the self when i didn't satisfy the need for it (could be totally wrong here, but i don't think the person that responded has used the account since and i'm just sayin' it's a little weird)

anywho, to a degree, i feel you anon, thanks for the ask sorry for the essay lol, and i do wish people would stop resorting to bullying confessors and others in fandom... hot take i guess, fandom is catty as shit over the pettiest fuckin' bullshit i swears.

[blazehedgehog]

I know this isn't a question, and idk if you get this a lot, buuuut... you're honestly one of my idols. <3 I don't mean that in a creepy way, I just think you're really awesome. Keep doing what you do.

I'm always appreciative of posts like this. I don't get tons, but I do get some.

It's weird, actually. For years I've had a number of friends and family try to uplift me about how they think I'm smart and talented and this and that, and while the gesture is always welcome, it... Never felt like it manifested in much?

Like, on Youtube, right. There are people that blow past 100,000 subs in under a year. There are people that do that with a million subs! And I'm over here, channel registered since 2006 or even 2005, and just passed 25k subscribers last year. 18 months later I am inching ever closer to 30k.

Or writing, right. Something I hung my hat on for a long time was writing this article for TSSZ where I was told "hey write something simple for this thing that just happened" but that would have meant an article with a couple sentences summarizing a press release. And this was kind of an ongoing story type deal, but it was the first time we had posted about it.

So I decided to describe everything that had happened so far. I did research, cited sources, and by the end of it I had two or three paragraphs of text that summarized everything that was going on. And I had a friend tell me, "Good work. You did more research than Kotaku."

Or, like, YouTube comments. I've gotten enough YouTube comments from people who are legit impressed with my editing skills but are amazed I'm not a bigger name. I remember a comment on my Sonic 3 video where somebody literally said "every time I think I'm starting to get bored, you pull another twist. I can't stop watching."

So confidence in my abilities has been steadily improving.

But my actual growth has always been slow. I've remained this unknown. And that gets to you, y'know? To have friends and family and fans uplift you, but to be stuck in this no-man's-land of "almost somebody."

You even start to get paranoid: do I have a reputation I'm not aware of? What are people saying behind my back? Maybe everybody just hates me, and this is what I deserve. I've definitely had interactions feed those fears, where it seems like I'm getting punished for reasons beyond my understanding. You can make yourself insane worrying about something that is, ultimately, nothing.

That's the result of many things. I won't go over it yet again, but I spent a long time after dropping out of high school depressed to a hazardous degree. My mom put the fear of "people who commit suicide go to hell with no remorse" in to me, so I was never suicidal, but I had fully given up in a way that may as well been a type of suicide. I did not end my life, but I did stop living.

And it's been a long, slow, painful process to understand that and start digging myself back out. To come back from a loneliness so encompassing you've grown numb to it.

It's a difficult process that has lead to a lot of awkward interactions. Spend long enough being antisocial and you forget how to be social. But rather that stress about it, and how weird I must seem to everyone else, I'm learning to be patient with myself. There are certain things about me where I have a lot of catching up to do, but I can't rush things.

Something also changed in me this last year. As my mom was getting sick and I was taking care of her, we had a very long, emotional talk about the future. I explained a lot of things I had figured out about myself but never told her, because I had a feeling. I knew our dynamic was going to change and I'd have to step up more at the very least. That I had squandered what I was building on YouTube and wasn't treating it with respect. And I wanted to try doing it for real. And she said to me, "I always knew you were going to be famous some day."

So... I'm trying to live up to that while I still can. And in particular, these last six or eight months, it really feels like I'm at a turning point. Things are starting to change for me. The way people treat me is starting to change. A lot of the things I was getting paranoid about turned out to be nothing. I'm starting to feel like somebody. Like the kind of person everyone always said I was.

And it's always nice to be reminded of that.

[aetheternity]

I promised a post about Mika and how Hoyoverse fucked him up forever ago but I was trying to finish like fifty other wips. I'm nearly done with one at the time of writing this so here's the Mika post absolutely no one asked for.

Let me start off by saying I think this little munchkin is adorable. He definitely has the same kind of things going for him as every other playable character up until this point. A lot of random accessories like tassels, belts etc. And the symbols on his clothes feel very Mondstadt. I enjoy characters the most when they have very aesthetically pleasing outfits. (Venti and Aether are the best examples of this for me). So Mika's outfit was automatically very eye catching for me.

However I do believe he does not look like he belongs in this game. I've noticed other people saying it too but for me personally he just feels so oddly disconnected from the other PC's (I'm just gonna write PC's for playable character instead of spelling the whole thing out over and over and over again.)

Like every PC is automatically noticeable and obvious if you stand them in a group of NPC's but for Mika he's got this brighter color scheme that clashes with character's like Jean and Kaeya who when he stands next to them have darker colors on their outfits. So he stands out more than they do. Maybe if he stood next to like Venti it'd be less noticeable. His hair also is so so bright and most Mondstadters have darker hair or natural looking hair colors except for Sucrose, Klee and Diona (even perhaps Bennett and Razor.)

Like seriously look at him in comparison to everyone else in this shot. He's almost more of an eye sore than Traveler. I'd actually argue that he is more of an eye sore than Traveler. But to be fair Traveler's outfit has gotten two years of time to get used to in comparison. But you know what enough about that let's discuss why Hoyo fucking hates him.

Not only did they give Mika the Scaramouche treatment. Which btw is far far worse for Mika seeing as he is the second to last introduced Mondstadter. He was also dropped right in the middle of: Cyno's first banner (a character people have been excited for for two years). The second part of the Sumeru archon quest, Scaramouche's reintroduction and backstory drop and in an event that already had so many beloved characters that we are already extremely accustomed to/love!

This event will also be gone in a couple more weeks (at the time of writing this.) So people who start playing after 3.1 aren't even going to completely understand how egregiously Hoyo fucked this poor baby up. He's had no mentions literally anywhere before this and was thrust upon us with no warning in the worst way possible. Funny that a post I made like a month or two ago is relevant again. The part where I said Hoyo screws their four stars with shitty writing tactics.

He's supposedly a character that was on Eula's exploration team and they made him feel like he was just created a couple weeks before the update dropped. Why has Eula never mentioned him before???? In fact no character has mentioned him before now. They threw in some random voicelines for him from a couple of the knights and called it a day.

Idk maybe this wasn't their fault and they were forced to include him for some behind the scenes reason but this is the worst character introduction they've had so far.

The worst part for me is that he has nothing to even stand out now that he does exist. He's a cryo polearm apparently so he's gonna automatically be outshined by Rosaria game play wise. Not to mention we one hundred percent didn't need another polearm user.

They gave him far too little screen time to really judge his personality which means we've gotta wait till he shows up again and lord knows when we're gonna get another Mondstadt event. Because I highly doubt they're going to drop him into any story quests any time soon. And who knows if/when he's getting a hangout because the Sumeru four stars are definitely getting their's first. This is definitely the most frustrated I've been at a character introduction in this game.

Also I had no idea where to put this. But his weird little ponytail thing annoys me a little. It reminds me of when I was in high-school and a girl would offer to put a boy's hair in a pony tail. But his hair would always be too short so she'd tug the tiny near nonexistent strands into a hair tie and it'd end up looking similarly to that.

Like it's so stupid just cut that part off or let those hairs roam free it's so weird looking 😬 anyway. I'm done ranting if you read this far I'm kind of shocked actually but regardless thank you. This is such a random post but I needed everyone to know how frustrating Mika is to me.

I still want him though. I just wish Hoyo didn't fuck him up like this.

[dreadfutures]

it's been a tiring week, I've had students cry in front of me, tell me how lonely they are, tell me they're convinced it's week 2 of the quarter and they're so far behind they're never gonna be able to catch up. And I think I've managed to help all of them get to people they need on campus to make things at least a little more manageable.

talking to disability services and getting accomodations is really scary when the culture you're raised in doesn't believe in disability or mental health at all, or consider it shameful to ask for help. getting food stamps comes with all sorts of ideological baggage. but fuck man, if you don't have to work two jobs and can get food stamps and use those 80 hours to study for your chem and bio classes, do it!!!!! no one has to know!!! so many things are protected and private and just waiting to make your life easier so you can do the important things, like studying to be a doctor

all the rich kids are taking the shortcuts and acting entitled to every accomodation and care and extra time and easier settings to Life. and brown kid culture is the opposite. self reliant, self sufficient, and sucking it up because you gotta be strong and avoid shame at all costs. that's gotta change.

i checked in with a bunch of students since talking to them, and they seem like they're getting their footing. it's not too late! it's never too late! you can fail your ochem class and do really bad in your other ochem classes and still end up going to get a PhD in a chemistry that is half built on organic chemistry. It's possible!

You only know it's worth it if you try. And if you give up at the start, you'll never know what you're missing out on--or discover what you don't like.

There are a lot of facets to being a doctor. Do you want to be a doctor, or do you just want a career that has face to face time with people? do you wanna be a doctor or do you want to take samples and analyze them and find out what's wrong with someone? do you wanna be a doctor or do you want to study disease? do you wanna be a doctor or do you want to revolutionize healthcare or expand access to programs?

every individual has a different answer and only you can find out for yourself if this chem class is gonna get you one step closer to chasing what you really wanna do.

The only thing that can truly truly stop you is giving up before you begin.

It's not gonna be easy! I worked two jobs and discovered all sorts of health stuff in college and was often miserable and certainly wasn't the smartest person in the room like, ever. It was really hard. But I did it. I clawed my way into accessing the things I needed to make it Doable.

There are two students I have who have already said, joking through their tears of frustration: "idk what to do, I guess I might as well drop out! haha!"

And I'm not kidding, but that's a fucking death sentence right there. Joking about that shit and getting so emotional and flippant puts the idea solidly in your head as a possibility.

When I have students who make comments like that, I know I might as well just walk away! because I know when I try to help them, even if I offer to do everything for them to get their problem solved -- wifi chip in her computer is busted so she can't do the online homework. guess what I have resources to get free computer loans on campus, and there are computer labs in the 24/7 library that are NEVER used, and I have SOLUTIONS as well as sympathy...

I know when a student says something shitty about themselves like that, they will REFUSE any and all help.

They are convinced they're hopeless and helpless. So therefore it's not worth helping them, because Nothing Can Fix This.

Guess what? It would be a lot less work to help you than some of the other students who are even further behind! and I am still trying to help regardless! but nope pessimism and self sabotage disguised as irony and humor have cut out the Rational part of the brain....they've decided theyrr done for.

You know that when you get upset, your brain gets flooded with hormones that make it difficult to think analytically?

it's really clear from the outside, lemme tell you.

I worry for my students, but I think the vast majority of them are gonna be good, and I am really happy. These are the parts of teaching I love the most. de Broglie equation and bullshit aside, sharing my fuck ups and experiences and knowledge and SEEING students enroll in the free tutoring, or knowing they reached out to therapists, or knowing they joined an org I recommended, is really worthwhile and special

[entomjinx]

No worries. Tumblr has its own quirks and moods. Nothing we can do about it.

Sometimes it really is just awkward.

But yeah, we talked on/off (timezones, heh, even though you were sometimes up early/late - always hard to tell xD). And, idk, I thought I had gathered some strength after the trauma and all that crap. Fun times. So I took the gamble. In a way, why am I still messaging like this? But at the same time, idk.

One Piece is one of those mangas I will complete one day. I'm still very behind even though my ship is there since the beginning. 😂 and it's just so engaging! But at the same time I feel like I wouldn't be able to write fic for it. I guess I'm easily scared lol

Oh, I'm still stuck in gratsu. OTP and all that. I get the bunnies but writing sure has gotten super difficult. And then I catch another handful of bunnies before having finished one story and it's a lot of wips. Doesn't help that I'm feeling so bummed about my writing and that RL stuff has been bad. Gotta love a writing crisis. Which, btw, better not go your way. Just time and spoons for you.

Tumblr will always be just one step to the left of fully functioning, and that's how we like it here I suppose.

Sometimes messaging and replying though anon is easier. It a way to be slightly detached and not too invested, while still going out of your comfort zone to talk to the people you want to, especially after everything that happened in that server... At least, that's how it makes sense to me. Should you ever decide to just outright message me, I'd answer the second I saw it, but for now, if this is what you're comfy with, keep doing it!

Also sorry it keeps taking me so long to respond. College is very hectic at the moment. (also this got long oops)

One Piece is super engaging! the latest chapters are absolutely wild, especially the one this week. Holy shit. I have been more anxious writing for One Piece than I was for Fairy Tail, but the fandom is genuinly a much nicer and kinder space so far. I didn't fully realize how awful the FT fandom had treated me until I posted my first OP work... The difference is staggering. And most people I've spoken to have been much less insistant on only focusing on what's "canon." It's been wonderful so far.

That doesn't mean the FT fandom didn't leave such an impact on me that I'm not anxiously awaiting the switch up and rage to be sent my way, but I'm trying to tell myself that it's a set of irrational thoughts.

I still adore Gray/Natsu and I plan to finish some of the WIPs I have for them, as well as Phenomenon eventually, but I think most of the things I make outside of that will be kept to myself and close friends.

I have! so many plot bunnies! I finally came up with the idea to make a discord server where each channel is a plotline, and once I'd reached the limit for how many channels I could have in a category (per fandom) I have to finish something before I can make another one. It keeps me in check while also letting me keep a decently high number of ideas so that I don't get stuck with writers block.

I'm sorry stuff has been hectic in real life, and I hope things start to look up soon. Your writing has always been wonderful in my opinion, but I fully understand being bummed about it too. I can never really look at my own writing without feeling like it's missing something. Every artist is their own worst critic after all, so remember that others don't see what you think is missing, they see only the wonderful things you have created and shared.

[xiaophilia]

| SAGAU | Villain Au!

「 ⸙The Divine One⸙ 」

۪۫❁ཻུ۪۪┊Yandere!Genshin Impact Harem x Gender neutral! Reader

‣Okay so I've been reading too much SAGAU lately and I couldn't stop myself from making my own idea of the Au. Now please take note that English is not my first language and I'm using mobile so it's gonna be rlly shitty.

✎...Includes: Jean, Kaeya, Xiao <Mentioned: Lisa, Klee, Diluc, Venti, Zhongli, Hu-tao>

❬Tw: Vague discription of dying, genshin characters being a-holes, Reader being chased by angry mobs, blood, death, slight yandere themes(sort of?), religous themes(idk), swearing/profanities, starvation❭

Under the cut!

❬⸙: ❝Act 1: The chase ❞ :⸙❭

Now, being isekai'd into another world by the famous truck-kun was something you always thought of as something fictitious (and as silly as it sounded you hoped it wasn't.) Of course it was fictitious, not until it happened to you.

It was your fault honestly, if you weren't so caught up reading R18 Genshin impact x reader fan fictions, you wouldn't be dead, but you could have sworn to the heavens above that, that truck came out of fucking nowhere.

And as if being hit by a truck wasn't enough, now you were being chased by a mob of angry knights with sharp swords pointing towards you with the intent of murder. The same knights from a game you oh so adored, Genshin impact.

At first you were happy, after all—being iskeai'd to your comfort game might be everybodys dream. But when you stepped into Mondstadt, The city of freedom, you were greeted by harsh glares and sneers from the people, it all happened so fast... your world was a blur (probably the after effects of getting hit by a truck) and now you're running for your life.

Why are they chasing you again? Oh right, it seems that you've committed a heinous crime, a crime so horrible you deserve the death penalty, and that was looking like a God you've never heard before.

"Bullshit"

You were limping, every bone in your body was hurting. You just got hit by a literal truck for fucks sake, how are you even standing? You're pretty sure you should be dead by now. Did being iskeai'd to another world lessen the pain? You didn't know, nor did you want to know.

It hurts. It's been hours since your last stop in a hillichurl camp (they seemed to be all to happy to let you rest), but after being spotted by the knights, you started running again, going through the beautiful terrains you once went through as Aether in the game. You wanted to rest but the knights chasing you had other plans.

You've been running for days and nights, can't they just give you a break?

"You filthy impostor! Stop running!" You could hear Jean shout from a distance. For once you hoped she was just in her office overworking herself. Losing the knights would be easier without her leading them. Was looking like some God you didn't know really that bad for the Acting Grandmaster of The Knights of Favonious to chase you down herself? Hell, even Lisa and Diluc are here, there's Venti too and how can you forget that cute child arsonist throwing bombs at you?

Hell they even went as far as chasing you from Mondstadt to Liyue. And speaking of Liyue, you could see the the Masked Yaksha in the group -his pole-arm that you gave him- in hand ready to eliminate poor little old you. 'I thought he doesn't hurt mortals?!' Was your first thought—maybe you were an exception. Huh? If Xiao's here then Zhongli, Hu-tao and the Liyue Qixing may not be far.

A mix of explosion and and thunder were heard behind you, you didn't need to look behind to know that they were close, but you weren't afraid of them catching you, not when a they're fighting hordes of hilichurls, mitachurls and five ruin guards that came out of some kind of portal...? You don't know how they're here and why they're helping you, but either way you're thankful. And because of that you now feel bad for killing them just to get materials for leveling and ascending your characters who were now trying to kill you.

You just ran and ran until you reached the boarders of Dragonspine, after parkouring through the the group of camping adventurers who had their weapons high, ready to strike.

You ran through the snowy terrain, feeling the cold air blow against your burning skin hurt. It was cold too,really, really cold. The wound on your stomach that you didn't notice was starting to hurt more and more. You're legs were about to give up but you continued further. Hoping to spot a hillichurl camp to stay in and maybe eat those suspicious looking steak and maybe you could make a delicious soup to share with the hillichurls...but alas-life was bitch, you couldn't find any.

You're body collapsed, you were tired, dead tired. The snow felt cold against your skin.

You layed there still, liquid started to pool down from your open wound, staining the snow a mix of gold and red. In short you were dying. Your mind started to wander, 'Will the boars eat me?'...wait do boars even eat meat? You didn't know, you just hoped that if they did, you'd already be in the after life.

Sleepiness started to take over, but if you slept in this weather you'd die for sure.

It was silent in Dragonspine, other than your ragged breathing you couldn't hear anything. Well at least it was. Rushed footsteps can be heared—and the next thing you know, a pair of mismatched eyes stared down at you, hands gripping the hilt of his sword.

"Kaeya..." You whisper.

Is he going to stab you? He probably will. Well at least he'd look hot doing it— You note as you closed your eyes waiting for your impending death and letting sleep wash over, but for some reason it never came. Instead you felt shaky hands wrap around your figure before being gently lifted from the the ground. With a whisper of reassurance from the man, you started to move. Then everything went dark.

'What?'

This is heavily inspired by various SAGAU writers! : @nicebonescomrade , @i-put-the-yan-in-polyandry , @myuni-moon , @vibingindark and many more.

[sxfik]

let's talk about han seo, hockey and his relationship with vincenzo!

disclaimer: probably more unorganized than usual lol but i had a lot of thoughts on this. feel free to add on!!

hockey has been a connection to han seo that we have seen throughout the drama. hockey is a traditionally masculine sport, and focused on team building and brotherhood between the participants. hockey is also a violent sport, often very rough on the body and rigorous. the show utilizes hockey as a symbol of masculinity, and a representation of brotherhood, especially for han seo.

from very early on, hockey sets the dynamic between the brothers: the ice is a punishment and a reminder of han seo's relationship with his brother who uses hockey as a punishment for his brother's mistakes as well as a way to let off steam. the first notable utilization of hockey was prior to jun woo's reveal as han seok. we watch as han seo explains himself to han seok and han seok repeatedly hitting the puck into his stomach when angry and unsatisfied with the answers. this is the first real relationship we see between the two brothers. han seok uses han seo as a punching bag in order to let off his anger that he feels on a day to day basis and as a reminder to han seo of his place beneath him.

we can use this scene to infer about their relationship in their childhood. Mr. Nam has mentioned that han seo was abused by his brother as a child and has gone to therapy his whole life. as a young adult, he turned to drugs and partying and it is implied that he has wound up in the police station many times. han seok has used han seo as his punching bag and han seo molded his personality and actions in order to avoid provoking his brother. han seok has constantly reminded han seo that he is beneath him, both in blood along with intelligence and stature, and in order to satisfy him, han seo leveled himself down.

it’s important to note that this is certainly not true about han seo. we have seen that han seo picks up on situations much faster than han seok thinks (gummy bear scene), but refuses to let his brother notice as it can result in more abuse. the only reason han seo comes off as a bumbling chairman is because he isn’t as “cunning” as vincenzo or jang han seok.

it's also important to note that while there have been moments of a cordial relationship between the two, it is still an abusive relationship. even after moments where han seok has shown kindness to han seo, it is no excuse for the abuse that han seo has suffered. it is also not a reason to say that han seok is caring brother despite his abuse as he does not care for han seo beyond preserving him as an escape out of jail or death.

it's safe to say that han seo has never had a real brotherly relationship neither has he had a role model in his life and it shows in the early episodes. we see han seo mimic han seok's hockey tactics and throw pucks at his advisors (idk what to call them tbh) and even force the board members to drink spicy food without water (maybe this was a way han seok punished him when he was younger). han seo mimics his brother and attempts to be like him in these episodes. that is also why he sends thugs after cha-young and vincenzo: he is attempting his brother's scare tactics but it is clear to see that han seo is not the one for strategizing and well, being a villain. furthermore, we have noticed han seok's attachment to hockey sticks and how he deals out punishment (i.e. killing the prosecutor with a hockey stick, defending himself against intruders with the hockey stick, smashing in the car window glass with hockey stick) and han seo has bound to pick up this toxic relationship with hockey, and as an extension in the way he views his relationship with his brother.

we see this change as we watch the scene where han seo and vincenzo are on the ice together. both are stood opposing each other but in the same pose and in hockey gear. this establishes them as equals as both are equipped with the same armor and the same attack sticks. both of them have an equal chance at the puck. it heavily contrasts the scene we see where we see han seok, fully in armor and equipped to attack, and han seo in the lone suit with no protection or means to attack him back. we also note that when han seo scores, we see a genuine smile on his face and as vincenzo threatens light heartedly to "come here" and makes a move towards him, he playfully skates away. this is similar to how many brother's play on the playground together as kids: competitive but never cut-throat or attempting to maim each other. we also note han seo asking from approval from vincenzo, like a little kid would from their older sibling, asking if they did good, and vincenzo responds like an older sibling with playfully underplaying their contribution. we also see vincenzo granting han seo good advice to use/train his brain and asks him about his studies, the same way an older brother checks up on a younger one.

we can note that han seo feels comfortable around vincenzo in a way we don't see with his brother. vincenzo makes a move to throw a puck in his direction when he drops honorifics but we don't see han seo flinch in the same way that he does with han seok. even when vincenzo makes moves towards him, or gets closer he doesn't flinch, he just glides back. it shows that han seo trusts Vincenzo in a way he hasn't before. he also shyly thanks him for the advice and expresses a certain love to vincenzo, beyond just the admiration that everyone has for him (aka the vincenzo effect).

of course, we see han seo skate toward vincenzo and losing control but vincenzo catches him. he is caught off guard as he is caught though which might be telling us that han seok would have never made a move to protect his brother like that. even though i've seen many people criticizes the usage of "is this love" during that sequence, i don't believe it's used mockingly like adrenaline is. "is this love" is the song used when vincenzo develops a serious relationship with someone, most notably cha-young. what this song is doing in this scene is establishing a sibling relationship between vincenzo and han seo and noting that there is a specialty to their partnership, just like how cha-young and vincenzo's relationships are special.

most importantly (and what breaks my heart), han seo asks vincenzo repeatedly whether he will kill him. while this fear is warranted as han seo has aided han seok in many ways prior to him seeing the light and teaming up with vincenzo, we also know that han seo was fearful for his life with han seok. han seo walks on a thin line with han seok and never knowing when his life was going to end at his hands. han seok continually teased him and threatened him (we can infer this from the gummy bear and "are you going to kill me like you killed our father" and when han seok held the knife to his neck). not to mention, han seo now carries a watch gifted by han seok: a reminder that han seok has control over his life. han seo is continually fearful of when his brother will murder him and take that watch as his next trophy. except this time, we can note that han seo says something along the lines "i know you won't but i can't help but feeling uneasy." it really enforces how far han seok's abuse has hurt han seo. even with reassurances, he is still fearful that his brother, or someone he views as his brother will take it away from him.

it's important to note that hockey is a sport that emphasizes team building and brotherhood also encourages a little rough housing. han seok and hockey vs. vincenzo and hockey are the two opposite ends of what hockey is supposed to be as a sport. han seok and hockey empahsize the violence, and rough nature of hockey, where han seok is using the puck and the hockey sticks as weapons to attack defenseless people (han seok, those prosecutors, that poor car and also zumba snake choi and mr. han). han seok uses it to crush down han seo instead and leaves behind the team aspect. vincenzo on the other hand focuses more on the team building and brotherhood MORE than the violence, their scenes focused more on vincenzo giving advice and building han seo up rather than crushing him and pushing him down. we see han seo actually scoring and both of them being playful with each other, building a rapport with each other.

in episode 18, we can note that han seo is acting more and more like vincenzo (like how in the earlier episodes han seo acted like his brother). when revealing his hand in han seok's demise, he acts similar to vincenzo, leaning in and explaining how he pulled the rug from underneath his feet. we also see a new kind of boldness, a fire behind his eyes we don't see before this moment when he speaks to han seok. the same sport that was used to torment han seo has provided him the support and advice he has needed to turn his life around. i believe that having a genuine support system for the very first time has provided han seo the platform to change and grow, as well as gain confidence in himself and his abilities. in episode 19 and 20 i want to see han seo and vincenzo grow together and evolve into a relationship where both are comfortable and able to give mutual support and love to each other.

[dawndelion-winery]

ACCO UR 200 EVENT IS SO CUTE OMGOMG <33

umm i'll be sitting inside and may i pls have malbec with cheese ^^ ofc my date would be childe ahehe

help pls idk if i did that correct but yes royal hurt/comfort with childe becase im a simp like that :"D

How Much I Miss You

Childe × GN!Reader

A/N: TQ Iely<33 You're so down bad for royal aus and hurt/comfort, comrade djsjskd /lh

What's a coronation without celebration? You watched your older brother step up to take the throne, patiently sitting with your other half-siblings. You applauded politely as he was crowned, the crowd buzzing with approval at having a new ruler.

Having completed the ceremony, the crowd dispersed from the throne room, all heading to the ballroom for the following festivities and refreshments.

You strolled in alongside your mother, touching up your outfit just before you entered to make sure there were no creases. It was like stepping into a whole new world from the quiet corridor into the lively ballroom. There was so much to see and hear - and the wafting aroma of chocolate from the chocolate fountain on the banquet tables at the sides. Your people danced to their hearts content, switching dance partners like they sampled food.

At the corner of your eye, you noticed a man with fluffy orange hair in a grey suit swirling the wine in his glass as he donned a playful grin. He seemed to be in deep conversation with your brother, the king, but you found it strange seeing as how your brother's expression was far more sombre.

Perhaps you'd stared for too long, for the man turned to catch your gaze, smirking a little wider as he muttered something to your brother - presumably excusing himself - and began striding towards you. It was hard to feign ignorance when he never broke eye contact the entire walk, making it abundantly clear you'd been caught.

He held his hand out for you, quickly leading you into waltz and weaving through the other party goers all the while holding you close to him.

"Some would consider it rude to stare, your highness, even if you are related to the king. Or were you just unable to take your eyes off of me?" he teased. Unable to come up with a witty remark fast enough, you stepped on his foot, uttering an insincere apology when he winced.

"Oh you're awful," he scoffed, smile still ever present on his face. Yet, when the time came for the next dance, he was quick to whisk you away and steal another dance from you.

"Hogging me for yourself? Now who's awful?"

He simply twirled you around again, his arms wrapped around you from behind as he leaned closer to your ear to whisper. "I never said I wasn't, your highness."

Just as quickly, he spun you again, and continued to dance with you as though he hadn't just been trying to fluster you. He barely let anyone else have you that night, stealing you away every other dance partner you had, telling you to wave it off as him being selfish and a glutton for your attention.

You laid in bed facing the ceiling, recalling the events of the night, hoping to imprint them in your memory. The charming stranger had introduced himself as Ajax at some point.

Ajax.

The name rolled so smoothly off your tongue. He seemed to know your brother, so surely, you should see him around more often. You hoped that was the case.

You should've been happy to see him. Ajax leaned against the king's desk, casually reading through papers with that same bastard smile.

"How can you still insist I've nothing to do with the throne, your majesty?"

Your brother furrowed his brows, crumpling the papers in his hand. "Whatever game you're playing with my little sibling: stop it. You want a garrison? Fine. They have no part in this and your foolishness will be tried for treason."

Ajax's smile faltered just a little, but he laughed as he dropped the few sheets he held back on the desk. "I'll take my leave since that's settled, your majesty."

You'd been pressing yourself against the wall the entire encounter. Had your ears deceived you? Your little crush was trying to use you. You weren't sure what to do with that information.

Minding your own business back in your room, you were surprised to hear a rapt knocking at your door. You weren't expecting any guests, and your servants would've announced their purpose.

"Your highness, I thought I'd drop by since I was already in the palace."

It was him. He was going to tell you he didn't need to be affiliated with you anymore. He'd gotten what he wanted from you, and you served no further purpose to him.

Then again, you wondered why you cared. You barely knew him. But he was thrilling. As much as you shouldn't have, you indulged in the reckless adventure that was Ajax, and now you've lost the map. Keeping yourself together by a thread, you invited him in.

Ajax's presence was like a rushing stream, and your resolution to ignore him was a boulder in its path. The longer he stayed, the more tempted you were to cave and let him use you. The conversation started light, with him sitting across from you, picking grapes from the fruit bowl between you.

"I've an agreement with his majesty," he mused. This is it, you thought. He was finally branching the topic. "I have to say, it did take a little...scheming on my part...anyway, I'll be around much more often now, so...maybe if you'd like, we could...get a little better acquainted, maybe?"

Better....acquainted? You weren't sure if he was mocking you, toying with you before he got bored. Remembering what you'd overheard in the king's study, you shook your head.

"Haven't you already gotten what you wanted? How much more of a fool will you make me?"

"So you know about that...how do I explain this...right, you could say I was playing both sides...heh...to get a rank and perhaps a cute spouse too..."

He leaned back into his seat, grinning sheepishly as he ruffled his own hair.

It would seem you've obtained an idiot ginger from the deal.

Taglist[send an ask to be added]: @myluvkeiji @pluvioseprince @altair-ation @teyvattherapist @euphoric-author @paradise-creator @favonius-captain @tiredsleep @raincxtter @serenenation @datu-tadhana @teahouserei @loverofthe-stars

[fkevin073]

Ever had an AU idea that made you go "This would be amazing...if someone else did it." But no one does it! And you just go crazy?

LOL omg yes definitely there are a lot of AU’s that have gone through my mind or I’ve seen that I was like omg yeah that’s fantastic. I think my favourite ones to read so far are the fics that I never even thought about. Like there’s this really great one shot on ao3 about Ziggy catching Nick in the middle of the sacrifice at Nightwing and then she turns evil with him. that one’s great. I didn’t think I could pull something like that off and the author did it amazingly. 

But in terms of other ideas: 

- there’s the AU we talked about a few days ago that I thought was great. Would love it if someone explored that. 

- I had an idea of there being a time-loop. So Nick is stuck replaying Nightwing over and over again until eventually the loop breaks (maybe Ziggy gets caught in the loop with him? after he’s been through it a few hundred times). My idea was that Nick would have to kill himself or reunite the hand with the body for it to end. I heard of a few other people thinking about doing a fic like that so I was like yay and then nothing came of it. 

- a gender-swapped Nick/Ziggy fic. I think that analyzing the gender-dynamics of that flip would be cool, though I don’t know how the specifics would work or if the dynamic would be too altered

- there’s also a fic idea I'm developing now (inspired by someone’s comment on one of my stories) where Nick tells Ziggy the truth right after the massacre and then they just leave Sunnyvale. like a super fucked up and toxic relationship where Ziggy just feels helpless to do anything and just takes his hand. this may or may not come to fruition. idk I have a lot going on already

- After I posted “the last great American dynasty” a lot of people talked about writing their own “Ready or Not” Au’s. If you haven’t watched it it’s a great movie about a rich family that also has a secret, murderous satanic pact. it’s great :) I really liked the ideas those other users had. 

- another AU where Nick and Ziggy are childhood pen-pals, but I’m thinking about working on that one. still deciding if the pact should exist in it or not.

- this isn’t about Nick/Ziggy specifically, but I've always been intrigued by the idea of Sarah Fier actually being the one behind the curse. like the plot twist is so great and works well thematically, but when I watched that scene with her and Hannah being like I’ll make a deal and we can get out of here I understood where she was coming from. So like making Sarah Fier a sympathetic person whose deal just went way out of control and had consequences she didn't forsee

- this has been discussed by others on this app, but I like the idea of Nick/Ziggy being ghost hunters like the Warrens in the Conjuring. You could even make it like a buzzed unsolved romance/modern type setting. 

- another idea I had was that Nick’s dad made a second sacrifice after Ruby but before he died and Ziggy’s family was wiped out so the Goodes take her in “out of the goodness of their hearts” since she has no next of kin and her and Nick get into all kinds of trouble. 

wow okay I need to stop this is already way way too long sorry! I'd love to hear what your thoughts are 

[causticsunshine]

alex, how was the show???!!!!! TELL ME ALL ABOUT IT

omg hi ella!!! i'll link you a realllly long recap post here from the day after the show just because i trust my memory from right after a lot more than i do a week later lol, buuuut it was so much fun!! i never got to see 1d live despite living in california for years—so i was totally bordered by 1d shows on either side of the state but gave up trying to go because my parents refused to take me, rip—and being down the street from them during the last night of UAN, so it felt just totally surreal to finally get to see even just one of them perform live??

also sorry this is gonna get Long but i got a little too in my feelings lmao

being able to watch through IG live-streaming kind of prepares you for what'll happen by way of tracklist, when he'll make his little speeches, etc., but his energy really is just so much more palpable in person. he's so expressive and you can feel how happy he is to be present and performing, engaging with people after so long.

seeing his demeanor shift between different types of songs too is pretty wild? we didn't get any shoulder kisses or singing to the wings or anything at my show, but when he was performing the slower, more intimate songs, it felt like he slipped into a completely separate headspace from the more upbeat ones. like reminiscing as he was singing, or just thinking about something in particular, but at the same time not like he was removing himself from the audience? idk it's really hard/weird to explain, the whole vibe just became really different (not like you'd expect him to be jumping around like mad to 'fine line' or anything, but still).

and i haven't said anything about this yet but i can't stop thinking about it—when he first popped up on stage i fully couldn't believe he was there. not just because i'd been waiting so long to see him and there he was at long last, but because i couldn't stop thinking, even as i was having the time of my life laughing and smiling uncontrollably, that he's been through so much and he's still there, doing what he wants to do, and loves to do. that this person in front of me, i'd seen laugh and cry and be angry and carry so much emotional weight and responsibility for years, and despite everything going on behind the scenes or in the view of the GP, he was still there, smiling, aiming to give us even just a little bit of happiness, in a space free to claim as our own, as our true selves.

and when we got to 'fine line' it hit me really hard, actually, and i couldn't help getting emotional—like ella i shit you not, i fully walked out of the venue with big black rings under my eyes and my friend just looked at me and went 'oh my god you really weren't kidding' (about knowing i was going to cry)—thinking about how much has happened, is happening, might happen. like i've been through a lot over the years i've followed 1d—as have they—and even for the few years i wasn't in the fanbase, the group still brought me a lot of comfort when i was going through some hard times. so, to know and see, in this specific case, how harry really can't ever seem to catch a break, despite his vocality in feeling so comfortable with himself at this point in time and not caring what people think (negatively) about him anymore, it still made my heart just ache.

i know he's heard so many different praises and thank-you's over the years, deservedly so, but even when i was having the time of my life finally seeing him, jamming along and dancing with one of my best friends beside me, i couldn't—and still can't— help wanting to be able to see him face to face and give as earnest a thank-you as i can, and hope he understands just how much i appreciate all he's done, doing and will do, and that i only ever hope for his happiness and truth, by his own definition and design, without any restrictions or limitations.

ok sorry this got far too sappy and melodramatic but i wanted to say something right after my show and didn't, so here it is....for poor ella who just wanted a recap and anyone else that kindly deals with my rambling dnkgfjn