#i've never gotten one because of commitment issues

[shithowdy]

found some chalk drawings from when i was 7 in a scrapbook (save the bike, which was my dad's). very impressed with my dragons from a technical standpoint but i am not being dramatic when i say i think i finally know what i want to be my first tattoo

[konigsblog]

I, personally, hate the r@pe things you write.

I feel very strongly about SA and I know my feelings aren't your priority. I used to read your stuff a lot then actually ended up blocking you, but I decided to unblock you for this message.

I know a lot of people use this as a coping mechanism if they ARE victims, but hey, to each their own. You can't save everybody.

I just don't fuck with it. It's not my forte, but I know, deep down, you're not a bad person. Your brain just doesn't completely function. I, myself, have weird fantasies about military men and serial killers, but only about one's from shows, movies, or basically anyone fictional. I, myself, am extremely weird and I think I have a few mental disorders but I haven't gotten tested.

The things you write are vial, disgusting, and down right crazy, but hey, I used to fantasize about r@pe and honestly can't even imagine myself fantasizing about being violated now. I guess I've healed in a way or whatever, but I'm still into rough play and knives and such.

What im trying to say is, I feel for you and don't like your stuff at the same time. Nobody with a normal functioning, properly working brain is into what your into. It's just plain wrong. But that doesn't mean you're bad. You're just...mentally unput. Or, that's my assumption from first hand experience.

I just feel like your brain is messed up. Not in a quirky " I'm so twisted⛓️" way, but there's actually something wrong in there. Like, you're actually missin' a few dozen screws.

I have awful intrusive thoughts about hurting, killing, and/or fornicating with them and I hate this because it's a mental battle that honestly makes me wanna commit, which is why I feel so strongly about r@pe, especially as someone who gets catcalled a lot, and I am in dangerous situations often.

R@pe is worse than murder in my opinion because you can't hurt once you're done and dead, but being a survivor is an actual psychological battle that's torture, and torture is ALSO worse than murder.

I'm glad to know you don't actually support real SA and have some actual boundaries unlike the tons of idiots that I've blocked that do. Most of them have never even come close to experiencing SA, or just plain don't care.

I just think you feel this way because an actual issue with your brain. I don't mean this hatefully, even though I hate what you write. But that's just my analysis. But I am curious to know what made you this way.

you're a disgusting piece of shit, you don't know me, and let's keep it that way

[meanbossart]

Ask Compilation: Advice, influences and Misc.

Apologies for taking so long on some of these, admittedly I'm much more likely to entirely forget about asks that are about me and my interests 💃 Thank you for all the questions regardless! And thank you specially to everyone who just drops nice messages into my inbox out of kindness.

I'm brazillian and a native portuguese speaker!

I'll probably return to twitter eventually, but a) I hate that place and b) It didn't make much sense to me to turn it into a BG3 account out of the blue. I am considering making an Instagram or a new twitter just to have more places where people can follow in case they don't care for tumblr, but it's just been a very busy year so far and so that's kind of low on the list of priorities. If I ever do that I'll be sure to announce it here. Have a nice day yourself!

Sorry to hear that! I've gotten a few messages before about this issue, and the problem is that since I am myself not from the US, my options are also limited :( a lot of patreon alternatives don't work for me because they either don't go through paypal, take insane currency conversion fees, or just straight up block me from signing up.

Speak for yourself, I just assume everyone I speak to online has committed some sort of atrocious crime until proven otherwise. Except for me - of course. I have never done anything bad in my life.

I still have a lot to learn! But I will basically use whatever works for me at the moment, as well as make a sincere effort to learn about musculature and anatomy so I can understand those components and how they move, instead of only knowing what they look like when still - that's how you get better at drawing from memory. Volume mostly comes from coloring and understanding light, which is it's own beast but can very much be learned from similar reference materials and observing it IRL!

My favorite places to get reference are medical diagrams, weird pictures I take of myself, 3D software (often Virt-a-mate) and questionably phrased image google searches.

My favorite artists are Jason Shawn Alexander and Sean Murphy, but I'm not sure how much of it reflects in my art nowadays! I generally seek to pick up techniques from artists rather than to emulate style.

Honestly I love that you guys generally do the thing he would hate the most: take him very non-seriously LOL

I've been in a real Chelsea Wolfe and Amyl And The Sniffers kick lately! But usually you'll also find me listening to stuff like Boy Harsher, Swans, FWF, JK Flesh Lingua Ignota, Nick Cave, David Bowie, and so on. Music for the weird gays, basically.

I went insane and wrote a 23-chapter-long-and-still-ongoing fic in like four months. But also - I'm not that good, I'm just shamelessly pretentious LOL

Hm. That's a good question, but I'm not really sure. Sincerely not trying to be a edgier-than-thou here (in fact, this has made me a little self conscious at one time or another) but a lot of art that I don't mean to be horror-y in nature at all has been associated with the genre. So perhaps I don't know what I'm doing either, LOL.

I think just leaning on making things look slightly "wrong" or "ugly" on purpose is the way, but I also find that if you just seek to depict people as they are instead of idealized versions of themselves, you will arrive at that either way.

Thank you for reading! Honestly, I'm guilty of having not read much at all since I was in my late teens, and the style I'm employing for ANE is very different from the things I would call "influential" for me, or even that I used to enjoy reading at all before. I read a lot of Chuck Palahniuk as a youth (and, no slight to people who do like him still, but nowadays I'm not sure why I ever did. His stories don't speak to me at all anymore) as well a lot of weird experimental lit that I didn't even care to remember the name of. My last book stint from one or two years ago was composed solely of historical and medical literature, and last year I got really into Cormac Mcarthy thanks to the internet.

So, all in all, I'm absolutely all over the place LOL if you put a gun to my head and told me to list my favorite books, I'd say The Indifferent Stars Above and Blood Meridian.

(Consider the reading portion of the question to have been answered above) I really really liked Beau is Afraid and think it's a really great "horror" movie. Sue me.

[sciderman]

sci i had no idea about your donald duck hyperfixation and now i am SO curious how did it come to be, what do you like about him, etc etc please rant to us

oh man! it was pretty simple - i, as you may have noticed, really like comics. buuut i was sick of marvel during my notorious hiatus of 2017 - i was hating pretty much everything they were putting out, and was in a sour mood over sm:h, just - i was sick to death of marvel.

but. buuut... i really like comics. and actually, i kind of already just had a bit of a baseline interest in ducks. i travel around europe a lot, and i always see duck comics stocking the shelves - one time i went to a second hand book market in berlin and found loads of worn-out issues of the ducks, and they cost like, pennies, so i picked them up because i just - i adore the art. it's so appealing and just - it makes me happy.

i just think they're neat!!!

so i started this habit of buying duck books in different languages from all the european countries i travel to. i have books in french, in german, in danish – i just really like ducks. i always looked for them in english but - really, they're kind of difficult to find in london. they're not popular in the uk. i remember a frustrating few years of my life, any time i'd enter a comic book shop in london i'd ask "you have any duck?" and no. they never had any duck. i wasn't ever committed enough to look online or anything, but for years and years and years i'd always wanted to read the duck comics. and i was determined that ONCE i found a book in english, in an english book shop, i finally would start.

eventually - finally! i happened upon a copy of don rosa's the life and times of scrooge mcduck - in english!! at a comic store in soho and i snapped it up immediately. i ate through the whole thing in one sitting and just - fell in love. i adore scrooge - his defining trait is that he's stingy but - otherwise he's fearless and adventurous and - well, tougher than the toughies, smarter than the smarties. donald too, his defining trait is his anger but - he's so good-hearted and family-centric and - ruagh. i love both of them - both of them having defining traits that are typically negative but - redeemed by all of their other wonderful traits that make them endearing and loveable. it's surprisingly complex, i think - and it makes for a really entertaining read in that - they're imperfect little guys. and you adore them anyway.

it filled the void in my heart and - i found that i just enjoyed the duck comics much more than i ever did the marvel comics - just - i don't know, they're whimsical and cheerful and - so easy to read, from the way they're panelled. they're designed to be accessible for everyone. marvel comics can be a nightmare, but the duck comics are just a delight. the ducks were my detox from the hell that was marvel, and they kept my love for comics alive!

i've gotten lucky in being able to find a lot more comics printed in english but - never in london, no sir. i get lucky and sometimes find english prints in other european countries so - a lot of my european friends know, when i come to visit them, there will have to be a Duck Detour at some point. i don't come home without duck.

[matan4il]

The ICJ ruling went about as well as I was expecting. No call for a ceasefire and no ruling on whether the war is a case of genocide, but Israel still has to send in aid (which it was already doing) and try to contain civilian deaths. All in all it said nothing new, made no decisive decisions and it just feels like we're back where we started but now Israel has to send in a report in a month. What are your thoughts on the ruling?

Hi Nonnie! Thank you for this ask. Yes, it went just as we thought it was most likely to go, and the explicit decision on the case was never going to be given during the decision of the provisional measures. If it's okay, I wanna combine my answer to you with this ask as well:

I've seen a few people mention that the ICJ not calling for a ceasefire probably indicates that the judges don't think a genocide is occurring at all. After all, if they believe a genocide is actively going on, why would you allow the side committing it to continue the fight? Granted, I'm seeing both sides claiming the ruling to be a victory for them. So, who knows at this point what any of it means?

Okay, so my feeling about this is complex. I mean,

On the one hand, I very much acknowledge that this is the best resolution on the subject of the provisional measures that we could have gotten. Anon, you're right. If there was any indication of an actual genocide, the ICJ would have decided in favor of Israel having to stop its fighting in Gaza. There apparently is a precedent, the ICJ did issue a provisional measure deciding on the end of Russia's fighting in Ukraine, based on the convention for the prevention og genocide. So yes, there's no reason why the ICJ wouldn't do the same here if South Africa had a strong enough suggestion of a case.

The reason why I still don't feel great is that I think the very discussion is a perversion of justice. It's like... think of a situation where you know there can't be a just result, because the court is biased. Think of a scenario where a political rival of the government is put on trial for murder in North Korea, where the judges are known to serve the interests of the government. To not be executed would probably be considered the best possible result, but it's still wrong that such a biased trial exists, that someone would be put on trial for merely being a political opponent.

Yes, each side got some things it wanted and lost some stuff (SA got the ICJ to ignore its abuse of the genocide convention, and got some provisional measures when legally the whole case should have been thrown out, while Israel got the fact that the provisional measure to stop the fighting, the only one the ICJ could grant that has real weight and impact, was not issued), but at the end of the day, Hamas celebrated the decision. Because it understands that even if no practical change comes from the ICJ's decision, it's another step in its war, which it runs parallel to its terrorism, to delegitimize Israel's very existence in the global public's mind. And on the most basic level, if an antisemitic, genocidal terrorist organization is happy with the ICJ's decision, I find it hard to be.

I hope this kind of explains why, even though I'm aware that the result was the best one we could get, it's still awful. To go back to how judge Aharon Barak, the survivor of an actual genocide, put it, the whole trial was like judging Able for Cain murdering him. Hamas should be put on trial. Hamas should be called out on, and persecuted for its genocidal intents and actions against Jews around the world. Hamas should be put on trial for crimes against world peace when it intentionally started a war against Israel. Hamas should be put on trial for war crimes perpetrated against its own Palestinian population when it has killed them intentionally, and intentionally put them in harm's way, to get killed in the fighting, when it used them as human shields. And anything less than that is a perversion of justice.

Thank you both, like I said, I do hope this helps. Take care!

(for all of my updates and ask replies regarding Israel, click here)

[rq-producerperson]

Hello!

Basic question: any tips for getting into a career involved with creative stuff? (Anything, but specifically audio design and writing.)

Additional information about my specific situation I suppose: I'm heading into my second year of college, and have been working towards getting my degree in anthropology with the hope of going into artifact preservation/restoration. However that's kind of always been a... Second priority, I suppose, as I've always wanted to make a living off of my writing, but assumed that even if that was really possible, I should get a degree in something else.

Last year at school I was working as a stage tech for the college of the arts there (mainly for concerts, not theatre), and I loved it a ton and genuinely wouldn't mind a career in that vein.

The last three months I've been working a shitty assembly line job (9 hour days in a windowless room doing the same thing over and over and over and-). The only plus side to it is I've had plenty of time to listen to stuff, and I've gotten really into Magnus. The Q&A episodes and things like that made me realize that there are other things I could do (and love) in a creative vein than just writing. I'd also never considered that my enjoyment of doing tech for live stuff might translate outside of that, but I really genuinely think it would.

So next year I'm taking a bit of a jump and I'm going to be taking some of the introductory journalism courses at my school. (There's a film and media production emphasis under the major with plenty of room for more fiction-oriented work. And then grad school is something I've been seriously considering since I learned the word anthropology, so that's still very on the table if I choose to pursue this.)

This has been a really big switch for me, and quite frankly I'm terrified of getting stuck at a job like the one I currently have for the rest of my life, with a creative degree just rotting in the corner. (At least with anthropology there would probably be another five+ years of school after undergrad, so that was less of a looming issue.)

Just... Any advice on getting my foot in the door? Especially with hopes of eventually moving out of the states?

Sorry for such a long ask, I'm very bad at being brief. :p

Thank you!

Heya, thanks for the Ask. I’ve had this one sitting for a while thinking of the best way to answer, because the truth is that life is variable so I struggle to give what I feel is meaningful advice when the landscape is always shifting.

However, I’ll do my best with what I know.

The keys that I think are best are Patience, Perseverance, and People.

First, Patience.

I’ve mentioned this a few times but it’s important to remember, life changes quickly and the creative market is constantly shifting. Being able to pursue a job in the creative industry means having the patience to wait for the right wave to paddle to, the right gust to lift you up. But like with nature, there is never a guarantee that the winds or tides of fate will flow your way. There’s an element of chance to it.

You have to be prepared to change and take chances when you feel they are right for you. Shoot out before you’re comfortable and you’ll sink, wait too long and you’ll miss a great wave. I can’t give an answer to when is best to know your ready or what the right chance is to take. I CAN however advise that waiting, watching, and learning is the best chance to take that shot. So, learn as much as you can and stay curious and adaptable.

Second, Perseverance

When you have decided a path to trod, a wave to ride. You commit. Know how to move with the current and keep your focus. It’s easy to keep laying out options, but when you have found that Moment that’s right for you to act on your chosen course, you can go in half way.

Before RQ and during the first half of my employment here I was always working two jobs. I’ve done retail, freelance, post graduate work, office administration, accounting, entertainment hosting, you name it. I was an office assistant when I started at RQ but quickly knew that even though I couldn’t make money with it (it was still just Alex in a Yurt at that time), I wanted to commit to it, to make that job the best thing I could do, and I kept a simple day job to make ends meet. I got lucky, I found a mentor who taught me how to advocate for myself and that I had a creative voice after spending years being beaten down. But I also had the conviction and perseverance to know there was something worth building on.

And we did that together.

Which brings me to my last point, People.

You hear a lot in the creative industry that it’s “about Who you Know” and that’s true, but not entirely in the way you think. Learn about people, what their strengths are, how they compliment each other. Surround yourself with likeminded people that want to attain the same goal, have the same passions. Breaking through the creative industry cannot be done in a vacuum. Always make sure you have a support network of other passionate, skilled, and dedicated humans.

Don’t know how to meet people? I bet you do more than you think. Fandom was my in, not just from shooting my shot, but for teaching me how to work creatively with others. (I still try to do art companion work with fanfic writers when I can)

So yea, maybe it’s a standard answer or underwhelming, but the truth is there is no magic key. There’s Skill, Luck, Determination, and Community that make these kind of jobs possible.

[fiercynn]

otw july 2 board meeting: what the hell was that

so the otw (@transformativeworks) board had their Q2 meeting yesterday, which was highly anticipated given everything that's gone down in the past months:

the @end-otw-racism campaign demanding action from otw on their own commitments made three years ago to better address racist harassment in otw and on ao3 (btw, support end otw racism's current campaign #Vote To End OTW Racism!)

recent revelations about how otw has mistreated its volunteers, regarding azarias and how the org reacted after the CSEM attacks on volunteers last year, as well as how the policy & abuse committee (PAC) is overworked and treated by the legal commitee overall (documented here)...

...and ongoing mistreatment of chinese, chinese diaspora, and chinese-speaking volunteers, particularly regarding an incident last year that put volunteers in mainland china at risk, and the board's recent unilateral decision to close the otw weibo account without input from the weibo account leads or any chinese-speaking volunteers

the AI shit

and probably more that i've missed, honestly. so! this is my summary of the meeting, focusing mostly on the issues related to racism; i have screenshots of the whole meeting but will at this point only share those i find most relevant/interesting! alt text will be included for every screenshot in the image, not below it.

and hold on, because this is going to be LONG!

pre-meeting ableism in #help channel so shit actually started going down the previous day in the otw board discord's help channel where there was a pretty ableist resposne to a person who asked if the board could consider adding the pluralkit bot to the server. i wasn't there, but hojarasca on dreamwidth posted about it, and i believe some other folks who were there will post screenshots soon too.

all of that conversation was deleted from the help channel by today, which is not unusual but did mean that a majority of people at today's meeting might not know what went down.

board meeting starts; immediate chaos the board meeting started at 8pm UTC, and it was clear almost immediately that the board was unprepared. what you have to understand about otw board meetings is that they are not really meetings where the board members discuss anything with each other. basically otw board members show up, share an agenda , give written updates on the items on the agenda, take votes on board decisions (but without any discussion publicly), and take questions. none of the materials like the agenda or relevant documents were shared ahead of time, and the board did not offer a way to submit questions ahead of time specific to the board meeting. (otw does have a contact us form to email their board or committee chairs, but i've never gotten a response lol.)

another weird thing that happened before the meeting started was that board member alex tischer was active answering questions in the help channel up to five minutes before the meeting, but didn't stay for the meeting. i don't think a reason was shared for this. this is relevant because alex has been criticized for racist responses to chinese volunteers, particularly those that ran & interacted with otw's weibo account, both in the past & last month when they closed their weibo account without any notice to the volunteers. this will also come up again later in the q&a section...

anyway. the meeting starts. all of the discussion directly about the meeting is supposed to happen in one discord channel called #public-board-meetings; the #help channel is supposed to be for tech issues etc. there is no separate channel for asking questions to the board - those are supposed to be posted in the main board meeting channel. and as far as we can tell, there are no mods of either of these channels apart from board members.

at the start of the meeting there are at least 209 attendees. for context, the last board meeting in march had 31. i've heard from people who have attended board meetings for the past couple years that there are usually 10-40 attendees per meeting. but again, given what's been going down, it's not surprising that so many people showed up!

and because there are a lot of people who haven't attended these meetings before, attendees immediately start asking questions, both process questions about the meeting and actual questions they want to ask the board. which again is understandable because there haven't been many answers given in the #help channel, and the board immediately muddies things further by giving confusing instructions about when to ask questions. they first say this - that they are going to proceed through their agenda, so people should hold questions that are NOT about any agenda items until the end. they imply that questions that are about agenda items are okay as they go through the agenda, but there will be conflicting instructions about this later...

agenda is posted & actual meeting content begins...kind of here's the meeting agenda that was shared. not...terribly descriptive lol

- Decisions taken since the previous meeting - Strategic Plan vote - Update on OTW's Diversity Work - AOB (Any Other Business) - Time for questions

people immediately start asking questions about various agenda items & also procedure questions. very few of these are answered. the first agenda item is posted - decisions taken since the previous meeting.

the board gives us "a couple minutes to read the above". everything's getting a little muddled already because people keep asking questions (reasonably!) about agenda items. there are several questions about the specific agenda item of "decisions taken since the previous meeting". some of the questions are getting answered by otw volunteers but none by board members at this point.

the board moves on to the next agenda item without answering questions about the "decisions" item. people are asking for a separate channel for questions but none is created. board members tell us they will try to get to all the answers at the end, but that we should send any additional answers to the board through the otw contact us form. many people point out that they've rarely gotten responses that way.

board gives a brief update (that was NOT on the agenda) from the finance committee chair, who was not at the meeting, to say that the 2023 budget was posted earlier this year, and that people can send questions via the contact us form. i'll note here that i sent a message to the finance committee with a question about the 2023 budget two months ago and have not gotten a response.

strategic plan update + question procedure still unclear the board then starts to give an update on the strategic plan, which board members are to vote on today. attendees ask if the full strategic plan draft was shared publicly before this meeting and we are told it was only shared with volunteers, not with members or the public.

they do share an infographic summarizing the strategic plan. hilariously, the first version they upload is so blurry that it's unreadable. they then share a gdoc with alt text. if you are new-ish to otw stuff, this infographic and the jargon in it are probably pretty confusing.

the board keeps giving us "a few minutes to check things out". people ask them to not do that and proceed because we can read while they are typing. questions to the board keep going unanswered and various other people say that we're supposed to hold questions until the end. we again get told conflicting things about how to ask questions. a board member asks us to hold ALL questions until the end, but an otw volunteer points to an earlier statement from a different board member & says that questions on the current agenda item are allowed.

at 45 minutes into the meeting, when most questions are going unanswered (and a lot of only being answered by otw volunteers, not board members), the board disables messages in the main channel so that they can proceed with the agenda. this is not usual board meeting procedure and was unannounced until they did it. people start getting really creative with emoji reactions because they can't ask questions. the board admits that they were unprepared for the number of attendees at this meeting.

attendees then start asking questions in the help channel, which has been put on "slow mode", which means each user can only post every thirty minutes. multiple otw volunteers share in the help channel that they warned the board about preparing for the meeting, and the only change the board made in response was to make it 30 minutes longer than usual.

in the main channel, the board does not have any public discussion on the strategic plan (which has not been shared, only the infographic has), and votes unanimously to approve it.

diversity work update, aka a glorified otw news post the board moves on to the "diversity work update", which is now a standard section of every board meeting. they share two updates - firstly, that caste has been added as a protected class in the code of conduct, and secondly that they've heard the concerns coming from @end-otw-racism supporters and others. both of which were already shared a month ago in this OTW news post from a month ago, which they link to.

seriously, nothing new is shared in this part of the meeting that wasn't in that post. some update!

q&a part one the board asks for emoji reactions again to see how many people are in attendance. unclear why they do this unless they were hoping people might have left? but alas for them, there are still 182 people that emoji react saying they are in the meeting!

the board FINALLY starts answering questions, but they do not yet re-enable messages so that users can ask more questions. they start by addressing the pluralkit issue from yesterday, but they don't give any response about the ableism that was allowed to go unchecked in the channel.

then, BAFFLINGLY, they start with answering questions from someone who wasn't able to make the meeting. how did this person submit those questions beforehand? NO ONE KNOWS. fortunately this person had (imo) good questions, but again, why were their questions given preference? unclear.

okay there were a LOT of questions and responses, so i'm going to stick to sharing the ones that were most important to me, which were about addressing racism within the otw and on ao3. hopefully someone else will summarize other issues!

we finally get our FIRST REAL NEW RESPONSE on a diversity/racism issue! the board says they plan to hire a diversity consultant by the end of the year.

we also hear that changes to otw's terms of service are being proposed to give the policy & abuse committee more tools to address harassment, including "racially-motivated" harassment.

board says the best way for people other than otw volunteers to get involved with anti-racism issues is...to stay up to date on what otw is doing, attend public meetings, and send questions through the comment form. what.

the board does not answer how they have reached out to fans of color in their work to address racism, which i assume means they haven't; they instead say that fans of color are free to provide input/feedback via the contact us form. emoji reactions explode

the board says that the strategic plan has initiatives to combat racism including improving diversity in recruitment (of...who? volunteers, board members? potential future paid staff?), hiring a diversity consultant, & forming "volunteer coalitions"

slight digression from my focus on racism issues because of how many times the board has told us to submit questions via their contact us form: very little clarity on how long it will take for answers to be questions, or how long people spend on responses

the goals for the future diversity consultant are to do an audit of the organization and offer recommendations on how to proceed. couldn't be vaguer lol

otw does not currently have plans to have an internal committee for diversity, equity, and inclusion work, since they're relying on the external consultant, but if the consultant recommends it they'll consider

by the time they've gotten through these responses, there are only five minutes left in the meeting! remember, messaging by attendees has been disabled for the past 40 minutes, so everything the board has answered so far is from people who got their questions in during the first 45 minutes (or, apparently, one person who managed to get in questions before the meeting).

q&a part two at this point, the board FINALLY re-enables messaging for new questions, but clarifies that they will only take them until 9:30pm UTC. which means anyone who did actually wait to ask their questions now only has five minutes to ask them! questions start rolling in immediately. again, going to focus on the ones about racism.

i'm listing questions in chronological order that they are asked, but please note that the corresponding answers from the board are coming WAY later than the questions. the board took until 10:20pm UTC (almost an hour after the meeting was supposed to end) to answer all the questions. mostly i'm telling you this because the emoji reactions on the answers by the board get more limited as people understandably have to leave the meeting lol

the first question of round two is about how chinese & chinese diaspora volunteers have been treated re: the weibo account closure, & board member alex tischer's role in this.

board response is horrifyingly empty, only promising the creation of a new "anonymous form" to receive feedback from chinese and chinese diaspora volunteers on the situation.

an attendee asks for better prioritization of racism & equity issues in the meetings, and better preparation from the board. (note that the addition of "diversity work update" to the agenda is not new, i believe it was instituted late last year)

in response, board admits they were unprepared despite volunteers warning them, says they will take advice from this meeting forward. emoji reactions are out in full force

an attendee asks more details about how the diversity consultant research officer (who is NOT a hired diversity consultant, but an otw volunteer in charge of the hiring process for a consultant) engages with the board & what goals they have for the future consultant

response from board is that they meet weekly, and that the research officer is herself in charge of identifying goals for the future consultant

an attendee points out that "curate your space" tools are not enough to protect users from targeted abuse, including racist abuse, and that asking fans of color to reach out to the board instead of the other way around is bullshit (my words haha)

the board's response to this is to offload that onto the future diversity consultant. SERIOUSLY.

an otw member asks if the diversity consultant will also look at accessibility for disabled users across the otw

board essentially says "yeah, sure" lol

an otw member asks how otw will remove barriers to becoming a voting member and diversifying membership & committee leadership

board's response is that they don't know the demographics of their members or volunteers, which...somehow means they can't remove barriers that would help fans of color or non-western fans from becoming members and volunteers? lmaoooooooo

an attendee asks for accountability in ensuring that the incoming board keeps the current board's promises re: DEI, pointing to improvements made by the 2015 board that were later reversed by a new board make-up

board does not seem to understand this question so answers an entirely different one! (seriously, i double-checked which question they were responding to.)

an otw volunteer asks what the plans are to deal with the "ongoing exclusion and alienation of chinese-speaking volunteers"?

the board repeats that they have opened a feedback form for chinese-speaking volunteers. that's it.

so those are all the questions i saw on racism; as i mentioned, there were TONS more good questions on board transparency and communications, protection of volunteers, moderating board meetings better, lack of feedback collection on the strategic plan, etc.

at PRECISELY 9:30pm UTC, messages are disabled again so that no more questions can be asked. all of the otw board responses that i shared above are from after messages were disabled again.

takeaways this meeting was a complete mess. the process was extremely unclear and made things inaccessible; while the board did (from what i can tell) answer all the questions posted, people were not able to ask all the questions that they'd planned because of the unannounced disabling of messaging.

and then, of course, there's the fact that the majority of the answers are bullshit, which is probably the least surprising thing about this meeting.

it's just ridiculous that they weren't prepared for this. given everything that's gone down in the past months, why on earth wouldn't they assume that people would show up with hard questions? the mismanagement and incompetence is frankly astounding. which i guess is the story of the last few months re: OTW anyway!

so...see you at the next one in a few months, i guess? 🤷🏾‍♀️

[scratch-house]

i'm just a shot away from you.

sketch here and here.

hihi! long time no see! i'm gonna infodump about this piece down here.

so when i first started drawing, i focused really heavily on lineart. i was super into finding my "style" in terms of how i would stylize faces and bodies. my coloring style was kind of an afterthought and wasn't really in the place i wanted it to be, so this is me kind of experimenting and trying to go wild in that department.

i think the reason for my years long art block was perfectionism. specifically for digital art, i was very focused on making things pristine and clean looking. i mean that may or may not be obvious from my more recent pre hiatus art, i don't remember, but 😭 mentally that was the issue. i used to always like my sketches more than my lines, and at a certain point i was like, i may as well just have the lines be really sketchy and irregular and chunky or edgy in parts because i seem to be drawn to that, and clearly this precision thing isn't working out. i'd definitely attempted that at other points, but i hadn't really committed and was never really confident about it before now. i think ultimately i just had to reach enough of a 'fuck it' point before i could do it. it's a similar philosophy with the coloring and shading. i'm just letting all the textures and irregularities come through without worrying too much

the idea for the piece changed a LOT. like i started sketching and attempting to color this well before my art block, and i've only just finished it. initially, the doctor and the master were wearing their normal clothes and were holding daggers to one another while locked in an embrace, so the idea was like, the closer they get, the deadlier it is. for some reason i just couldn't get that to work? at some point i gave the doctor navy wings, so there was almost an angel of death thing going on (think the master asking her to kill him), but eventually i went for this! there's still kind of the erotic element with the master straddling the doctor and her Thrusting up, but now they are fencing, and the weapons are a little more front and center instead of hidden, as they were initially. i don't know how obvious it is, but what's happening is the master seemingly has the doctor pinned, both physically and with his rapier, but as she thrusts up, she actually moves his face closer to her blade. his hand on her elbow looks like it's part of the pin, but actually he's trying to stop himself from getting cut more. this thing of the master looking like he's winning, but the doctor actually holding the deadlier (though not necessarily better) position was very important to me, i don't know why. it was a feature of all of the sketches, although in the dagger sketches, there was an element of the doctor's blade being more hidden than the master's, ie in the embrace, the master (facing her) has an arm wrapped around the back of her neck with a blade at her throat, and she wraps her arms around him with a blade pointed directly at his back. you are going to have to figure out the symbolic intricacies of that yourself because i was just doing what felt right sjdjsdk

almost forgot: it's not just the positioning that sorta favors the doctor, it's also the fact that she is slightly more armored than the master. i don't know if you would call that armor, but let's go with that. her mask is pulled slightly more over her face than the master's, she wears her gloves and shoes while the master wears neither, and her rapier has a little cover that goes over her hand, while the master's just fans out. obviously they both have minor injuries, but the doctor also has some Ambiguous blood at her mouth. is it his? is it hers? i don't know. but she has blood in her mouth vibes when it comes to her interactions with the master so there u go

there's also an element of like, fencing is not supposed to get this crazy, so something has gotten severely out of hand here. but mostly i thought it looked cool.

if i could change anything about this, i would make it so that the doc's blade is pointing directly at the master's chin instead of having just grazed his lower face, with the master trying to lift his head away from the blade as he slides down, just so that the threat felt a little more.. i don't know, imminent? so that the strain is more pronounced? they're simultaneously being pulled toward one another (by gravity) and desperately trying to push away. i might've also fucked around with the text a little more because i'm realizing now that it could very easily be misread shjshdjs. but mostly i'm just glad that it's done and it looks cool. it's been YEARS and i finally feel like i'm back on my art feet. but don't hold me to that

[oscconfessions]

I will unironically ship cross-show host ships. Not just the ones from the smile crossover, things like AirCorn too where they've never met and have no chance of meeting.

People take issue with literally any ship Airy is in within his own show, which to some extent, I get. But I'm not saying I support actual irl relationships like any Airy x contestant ship, I literally ship BatJokes for God's sake. Having a host x host ship is good because usually their crimes are somewhat on level footing (even though most are treated like jokes), WHICH SIDE TANGENT HERE, I hhhhate people who will call me weird for trying to have a discussion about some of the character's immoral actions from less serious shows. Airy hfjONE for kidnapping and manslaughter is treated so much worse than Popcorn for SPREADING INFECTIOUS DISEASES. Just let me suspend disbelief a bit, ok. Yeah, so anyways, I think AirCorn is good bc Airy to some extent doesn't understand the severity of his crimes, whereas Popcorn does and would commit those crimes again.

I'm an avid lover of toxic ships, not an avid supporter.

I'm a sucker for the other host x host dynamics, too, and I just think we're so lucky to have gotten any crossover content we did, canon or not. TwoPhone has been fed?? I no joke started shipping AnimatiClock like three days before sacri uploaded the crossover, and I had no idea.

I'm trying to think of something else worthy of confession here, but I've already confessed a lot in different sessions, and this isn't an NSFW blog.

I still refuse to watch BFDI and affiliated shows, and I will say I find the writing utterly disgusting in the most literal sense. Gross-out humor is for children, but so is most of the stuff JnJ makes. I just think they could respect their audience's intelligence more. Even kids want well written humor in some ways, and I personally think object shows would do best as 'all ages' media that respect their audience. But JnJ makes so much money that I don't think it matters to them. Side note, I watched a livestream of theirs recently, and they seemed very tired. I could be reading into it, but seeing your audience is only children and that they've been doing this for over a decade, I wouldn't be surprised if they quit sometime soon and leave TPOT etc to be produced without them. I don't know if they have already or if they've talked about it, I don't plan to watch anything else from them, save for the specials with algebraliens in them. Needless to say, I won't keep track of it, and the only reason I'm not an outright JnJ hater is because of how close they work with AnimationEpic and the xfohv content. Other than that, grr.

Love you loads, thank you to anyone reading for your time, I hope you have a joyous day!

- (🫳🫴🦷) (mundane object show ranter, previously untagged)

.

[chibun-days]

thoughts on my interpretation of dazai + his past in regards to fanfiction writing

this mainly applies to dazai during 15 and his time in the pm, but could work for ada dazai albeit with minor adjustments

see on the one hand i have the urge to write dazai as incomprehensible unfathomable indecipherable. he'll be darkness incarnate pretending at being human, and he can be something colder and crueler than anyone else in the world. he can be something dead. he'll be a living corpse, closer to death than living.

on the other hand i want him to just be a mess of a human being who's a little too smart and a little too empty and little too hurt. he can be someone who's tried desperately to find meaning in life, failed at every turn, and buries himself in darkness instead until it permeates his very being. he chokes on kindness, if that one episode of bsd wan where atsushi gives him flowers is any indication. he can see himself as irredeemable, regardless of how other people perceive him. he can genuinely believe that he can't possibly have positive human relationships not founded on mutual goals or manipulation, as i write in his perception of chuuya at the start of 15.

the issue with both of my interpretations (i am fonder of the second one) is that we haven't gotten any actual backstory for dazai. we know what he was like at fourteen/fifteen—but by then, he'd already established his worldview and opinion that there is no meaning in living. mori literally finds him when he tries to commit suicide; the pm may have encouraged his cruelty and violence, but that was all already there. what happened before that instilled in dazai's mind that he wanted to die? despite being given a frankly massive amount of coverage in light novels, the manga, and the anime, we still know virtually nothing about dazai's past. it's so difficult to properly analyze and understand dazai's character and actions because we don't know the reasoning behind these things. all individuals are dependent on their past experiences—it would be necessary to understand dazai's past in order to get a better picture of his character as a whole.

my first interpretation assumes that dazai has, from birth—similarly to yozo in no longer human—always been "empty". it assumes that dazai has never felt like a human being, never been able to understand them, and never been able to relate to them. the second interpretation, however, assumes that while dazai may have felt alienated as a child, there is a reason for said alienation and the ensuing suicide attempt and worldview.

the key part, however, brings into question what exactly the reason was: bsd follows (very, very lightly) the ramifications of a post-war setting. you see it in fukuzawa and yosano's backstories, as well as fukuchi's motive in villainy. did dazai somehow participate in the war? was it instead abuse by an organization or by family that impacted dazai's understanding of living? it's impossible to guess the canon backstory of dazai, but i think it'd be reasonable to assume that there is at the very least a concrete reason or event in dazai's past that results in his mannerisms and behavior that we see in canon. i would be hesitant to go into government experiment/inhuman territory, however, because that ruins a very important parallel: the one between chuuya and dazai.

i've mentioned it before—essentially, dazai is human but feels/acts inhuman, while chuuya isn't human (though certain evidence suggests otherwise, but the point stands) but feels/acts wildly human. they're eachother's antithesis; however, they wholeheartedly and without a doubt believe that the other is irreplaceably human. if dazai does turn out be some aspect of the book (as theories suggest), that doesn't quite make sense in regards to the consistency of this parallel, which is very important overall to soukoku's dynamic. i have so many more thoughts about this but i'll stop here for today.

in short i am trying to write a cohesive backstory for dazai that actually makes sense in my fic (i am failing)

[imaginespazzi]

Ok bestie, anon who followed up on Amoore reporting back as requested ha. I should say we are on a similar page, her & Kitley are very tough to get a read on. And a lot of the online chatter agrees its hard to judge and goes back and forth on whether theres something more going on. For those interested, I suggest watching their youtube ch series for a general sense of them interacting. Entertaining and light vids, not overly long. Really just little things between them here & there that add up. And of course a person can review their socials..

Now onto the tea I came across online. Imperfectly summarized the best I can below. (Allow me to stipulate that I have no way of verifying any of this, so please understand Im not at all sharing any of this to be presented as true or false. Take it as simply passing along the posting of others for conversations sake here in a safe space. Comments/feedback/corrections welcome)

:

Its described as on/off thing, first beginning summer 2020. A VT insider says people are aware that Amoore hasnt been committed, to put it delicately/nicely. Leading most recently to a break of sorts last Dec-mid Jan. (Added pretty sure they are together rn though. And another person did point out if Liz was getting cheated on why would Georgia seem to maintain a good relationship with the Kitley family, which is a fair Q to pose). But notably, a strangely long break in their podcast took place over that period and for the first time in 3 years they didn’t spend XMas together or hang around each other over the holiday and when podcast recording returned they just said “we had Xmas” and didn’t talk about it. It was also pointed out that sometime in winter, Liz had tickets to see an NHL game and went w Cayla King despite her and Georgia talking about how they wanted to go together before. Only sus bc it happened to coincide w the time where Georgia was speculated to have gotten close to Kate Martin. Then suddenly they K & G werent interacting anymore and L & G seem back to being “besties”.

Sidenotes:

Liz’s "2020 love playlist"… apparently someone has screenshots that it used to be titled Georgia. Includes some fav bands/songs of Amoores. And a tune called Australia Street lol. Lots of love songs predictably, but some breakup songs were added to it at one point (the comment seems to insinuate during the time they were going through issues)

They're friends with a married lesbian couple (Youtubers/influencers? The Bellaires) who they once visited alone.

Also, fyi, Kate Martin is apparently recently back w her last ex, whoever that is - per talk re social media activity

You're my new favorite person omg because this is my kinda tea fr! Can y'all tell I love some good gossip?

I'm ngl, I was never the most invested in V-Tech or the girls on the team, so I don't really follow them. And I was pretty convinced Liz was straight so I just assumed her and Georgia really were just really close besties.

But this checks out with what I've heard/read too, that they were in that "undefined" kinda place, mainly because of Georgia and eventually Liz got tired of it. I definitely didn't know about the Christmas or the NHL stuff but that makes sense. Also from what I heard, they were probably done for good now with Liz going to the draft? But still being together also makes sense. I'm so invested in this now omg.

[blackswallowtailbutterfly]

Anon because reasons. I've been a transman for over ten years. I never thought I would reach out to a TERF but I'm seeing things in my community that scare me and I literally don't know what to do. The transwomen I follow suddenly started reblogging and making posts about protecting transwomen from rape/pedo allegations but I'm conflicted because I was raped by my uncles when I was little. I feel like I'm going crazy idk why I'm asking you I just feel so dysregulated and distressed. Please don't hurt me or expose me, idk what they would do if they realized I was talking to terfs.

I have no wish or intent to hurt or expose you, so have no fear of that. To be upfront: I am a feminist. I do see sexual assault primarily as a hate crime men commit against women and girls (rape). Women and girls being female humans and men being male ones. But you already knew that. For the purposes of this response, however, I will use gender neutral language where possible.

Honestly, ten years ago I had no idea I'd be where I'm at now. I was considering identifying as agender and was only just starting to become uncomfortable with trans activists. The biggest reason was, even back then, protecting predatory behaviour. Unfortunately, as the years have gone by it's only gotten worse. Maybe it's not something you've come across until now, so I imagine this must be a shock, or maybe the people around you doing it used a lot of weasel words and it hasn't become apparent until now.

Either way it's a terrible thing to realize the people you consider your community just don't think sexual assault is that big a deal, especially when they've said it is, but their actions are showing otherwise.

It's a betrayal to those of us who have been sexually assaulted and don't want that to happen to anyone else ever again. Especially if the person who sexually assaulted you was someone you trusted. What your uncle did to you was already a horrific betrayal. To know someone you respect would say he should be protected from your allegations if x reason (in this case if he identified as trans, but this can happen in other ways; someone I greatly respected called Julian Assange a friend after he raped two women; that sucked and I stopped keeping up with him after that) is a betrayal on top of that.

I was molested by my stepfather and some fucked up shit happened when my biological father showed me off to his friends when I was a toddler. I know that pain well. "Valid" is a word that's certainly been over-used and misused, but right now I'm going to use in the way it was used at the Sexual Assault Crisis Centre I attended: your feelings on this are valid.

Sexual assault is one of the worst things a person can do to someone. Saying that people who do those things should be protected for any reason, that alleged victims should be doubted, that alleged perpetrators should be given the benefit of the doubt is fucked up. You are not in the wrong for feeling uncomfortable and worse about it. That just shows you have your humanity.

Now, I'm not going to tell you what else you should think, but what I will say is: I'm not afraid of the women here knowing I talk to men. Or trans people for that matter. Even if I was reaching out to vent. At most they might question why I chose a man and not a woman, but ultimately it just wouldn't be an issue. It's not that there are no assholes here--there are quite a few--but most of them are easily ignored and those that aren't typically get pushback for being assholes and eventually end up leaving or ostracized.

Do you think that it's healthy, as a literal trans-identified person yourself, for people in a community to be so afraid of one another that they can't let anyone know if they talk to certain people? Now, I'm sure it's not as simple as just dropping people who act this way. I've known people with shitty friend groups. It's hard. It's hard when all of your peers seem to support certain behaviour. I get it. I am in no way expecting that you're suddenly going to drop your community.

But I'm not talking to them. I'm talking to you, the person who reached out to me. From one survivor of familial sexual assault to another: you don't deserve to be treated this way. You don't deserve to have your pain trivialized, even indirectly, for a cause. So even if you can't talk to any of your peers about it (and maybe you can! maybe there are people you know who feel the exact same way), I want you to know in your heart that this is wrong and you're right to feel that it's wrong.

And when you're ready, whatever that looks like, I hope you can get out of this and find a community where you would never be punished for raising concerns about something like this. You would be upheld and loudly supported because that shit just wouldn't fly.

Take care of yourself, anon. I hope you have a good day/evening. I hope your uncle rots and I hope the transwoman you're following becomes a better person. Or falls down a well. Whichever comes first.

[strayheartless]

a nsfw situation i can read basically any person's interpretation on over and over again and never be bored is sephiroth's first time!!! especially in ags, like if he's topping who's bottoming for him and who's coaching? if he's bottoming who's topping and who's holding him and keeping him safe? i think it's a good entry point for nsfw because you can do a loooooottt of character study and just throw in some smutty parts. like is it all fluff or are seph and gen still playfighting the entire time? is angeal mediating or is he too busy working as the top or the bottom to focus right? do they even go all the way or is seph going to be too overwhelmed and finish before the "main event"?

sorry if that's not specific enough haahaha, but starting smut can be intimidating and sometimes just dipping your toes into sharing the thoughts is the best way to start! and at the end of the day I am but a mere sane!sephi being a bottom truther 😌

oki doki! I've gotten over the fear with the first ask, so I'm gonna try answering some more. I am once again shocked by how fast people jumped into my asks for this one lol.

okay Sephs first time with AG. (why didnt I do this one first its so much less scary than Aerith and Tifa!):

*warnings for suggested non-con of someone underage. there will be no detail (ever) but its implied. please be careful*

the first thing that Angeal and Genesis have to seriously concider when approaching the topic of sex with Seph is that he is all at once, completely new to it and knows about it in disturbingly clinical detail. They don't really want to know why, and they can see in his eyes that he doesn't want to tell them either.

Sephiroth has been a symbol all his life and the issue with that is that at a certain point in his teen years it became strangely acceptable for people of all gender expressions to fawn over him in ways that make him uncomfortable. People seem to always speak and act without thinking without considering him and its upsetting.

Meeting Angeal and Genesis however is different. mostly because the first time he met angeal the other boy just wanted to get the job done and be friends. nothing more nothing less. He'll admit to being a little infatuated with Angeal from the word go but 'Geal had said he was in "a commited relationship" and Sephiroth had taken him at his word.

To bad he had a crush on Angeals "committed relationship" the second he layed eyes on Genesis. why? well because Genesis was beautiful and also trying to activly kill him at the time.... you know that scene from Princess Mononke? the one with the knife and the ill timed realisations of beauty? yeah thats Sephiroth meeting Genesis.

As time goes on and their relationship changes the topic of sex starts to come up more and more, much to Seph ire. he doesn't want to talk about it but they always seem to circle back to it. Usually at Genesis' behest. usually at Angeals allowence. its how they find out he's a virgin in the first place.

And nothing is done about that for a VERY long time. At least not until Sephiroth wants something more.

The night that he asks them to be his first time they look at eachother and agree they will never hurt him this way. it is the only promise they made that they did not later brake. they NEVER used sex as a way to upset him. not ever. instead they run him a bath, and clean him up. Genesis brushes his hair while Angeal massages his calfs and he relaxes into it.

When he's slightly boneless they take turns kissing him and helping him discover what feels good. They go slow, and when it doesn't feel good they stop and try something else. Its a lot but he finally decides a list of things.

He likes being in Angeals arms a lot.

he likes it when Gena kisses up his thighs and teases his cock.

he likes having Angeals fingers inside of him

His chest is sensitive and after a while its not fun anymore, but he likes a little bit.

He loves letting Genesis ride him.

But he loves letting Angeal fuck him slow and gentle like he's worth everything.

he doesnt like pain play

he does like sensory deprevation play

he adores being praised but he stuggles to accept it

he goes into subspace a little too easily.

being on his knees for Either Gen or 'Geal is intimidating every time but he is eager when they guide him through it.

having something in his mouth calms him down. it can be his partners cocks of their fingers.

he doesn't like being restrained

but he does like being fucked while either man laces their fingers with his.

his favorite pet names include 'pretty baby', 'my heart' and 'sweet boy'

he likes calling Angeal 'sir'

being hand fed puts him in subspace

he has a thing about cock warming (as in he loves it) both with his mouth and his body.

and the last and perhaps most devistating detail is that he is so irrevicably in love with these men. They won't just be his first. they will be his only. And on nights when he stands on the edge of creation and lets himself stray a little from his mothers voice, a fantom ache will start deep within his soul. An ache to be laid out on Angeals bed as he is slowly taken apart on his side, angeal behind, Genesis in front... all of them in love.

aimed for smut, made it sad.... oh well.

[allthecanadianpolitics]

Before I say anything else I want to be clear about two things.

One, if you don't have the energy to respond to this/don't want it on your blog I totally understand.

Two this really is in good faith. I'm not playing devils advocate and I'm not trying to prove a point or do a gotcha or anything.

In regards to the involuntary treatment for addiction(and for mental health issues in general), I don't entirely see the problem, and I was hoping you (or someone responding to your blog) could explain why it's such a bad idea.

I understand that these systems provide the perfect opportunity for serious abuse, and I also understand that they fundamentally are violating a person's freedoms.

I also understand that harm reduction options, like safe usage sites, are the best way to go, and that we should be putting our energy and resources into those.

But I also know in my own experiences I do not always have my best interests in mind, and sometimes I need someone to make me do the right things for myself.

My mental health has never gotten so bad that I have been institutionalized, so I may just not be fully grasping the depth of the flaws in the institutions, or I may not be properly understanding the state of mind of someone who is institutionalized.

However, it feels like assuming everyone will always make the right choices for themselves in the context of addiction and mental health, which doesn't seem like a responsible assumption to make.

Obviously I'd rather these institutions not have to exist, and instead provide people support before it reaches the point these systems are used, but we are not at that point yet, and it seems to me like involuntarily treatment is important in the interim.

Is this a situation where we should allow people to make a decision destructive to themselves rather than remove their freedom to make that decision? Or am I oversimplifying it?

I really am asking genuinely, and I'm very open to someone changing my mind. I just can't understand the issue at the moment.

Answer by @politicsofcanada:

There are a few reasons why I oppose involuntary commitment/involuntary treatment.

First of all, it doesn't work. Overwhelmingly, being institutionalized against your will does not benefit your mental or physical health. I studied this in college as well as having firsthand experience. The isolation and judgement that come with being institutionalized make people more likely to use substances to cope. Also, it is akin to being sent to jail for being mentally ill (which also happens but I won't get in to that right now). I've been in these places and they are not comforting, welcoming, or supportive environments. The concept of being sent to jail for being mentally ill should be more than enough to make people oppose this.

These places are rife with abuse and mistreatment. Staff are often violent, condescending, and sometimes sexually abusive. Much like the prison system, (because it operates in nearly exactly the same way) people of colour, poor people, and lgbtq+ people are overrepresented in the system. Marginalized people are more likely to experience addiction as a result of alienation from society, and involuntary commitment only makes that sense of alienation worse. Overwhelmingly, the best support one can offer someone experiencing addiction is safe supply, safe consumption sites, and community support.

Community support is far more effective than institutionalization. The only reason people prefer to lock people with addictions away is because its more convenient not to deal with them. Actually caring about people dealing with this means including them in your community, not locking them away.

[sapphyreopal5]

"A Walk on the Dark Side" J2 Interview

The following are snippets from the "A Walk on the Dark Side" interview from the Supernatural Magazine, Issue 11 (pages 10 to 17).[x]

"You never know what to expect when you’re on the Supenatural set with Jensen Ackles and Jared Padalecki. In some cases you'll find yourself empathetically mouthing “ouch,” while in others you'll be crinkling your nose and reaching for a gas mask. Either way, you’ll soon be laughing.

During the filming of Lucifer Rising, Ackles had to run at full tilt and ram into some church doors that Genevieve Cortese’s Ruby had slammed shut upon seeing him. Over and over again he threw his shoulder into the doors, but he always held his ground. Then, on the last take, he bounced off the doors and the impact knocked him to the floor. Ouch, If that had been an accident, it sure would have been painful - but the grin on Ackles' face belies the truth; it was just one of his premeditated goofs. “Yeah, sometimes I just do it for fun," he admits later in his trailer. “Nobody knew I was gonna do it, but I knew we had it in the take before, so I figured I'd just throw something funny in there.”

“There’s a lot of flatulence, especially in the Impala. Ill look over and Jared's just smiling at me. I'm like, 'What? You didn't!' And then I’ll have to get out of the car…” It's no wonder Ackles has taken up golfing - to get some fresh air! “I’m doing a lot of golfing these days," he says. “I've always kind of played golf, fiddled with it every now and again, but for some reason this year I’m getting more into it. One of the things I love about golf is that you can get out there for four or five hours and not think about anything else. There’s a course up in North Vancouver where you’re sitting on the tee box and you’re looking out over the city from the top of a mountain. There are deer running across the fairways and stuff! It’s just gorgeous. When you’re out there, you’re not thinking about, ‘Oh, what do I have to do tomorrow?’ Or, ’Where am I going this weekend?’ Or anything like that.

You just set up the ball and try to hit your next shot."

"Some people refer to walking out in nature as being in God’s Country, and golfing might be the closest Ackles gets to being near God on Earth, because he doesn’t expect the Lord to make an appearance on Supernatural anytime soon. “I don’t think so, but that's just my prediction," he said. “I think it’s kind of like God's the president and he’s sent his generals to Earth to take care of the mess. I don’t think he’s going to come over here and be like, 'Hey, what seems to be the problem?’" Maybe Dean will have to talk to a burning bush? “Ah, no, I don’t think so.”

Killing Lilith Jared Padalecki always puts great effort into the heavy emotional scenes on Supernatural, and perhaps his most intense scene yet happened in "Lucifer Rising" when Sam battled Lilith. First he had to choose between listening to his brother (who was trying to stop him), and listening to Ruby, who was pushing him to kill Lilith- Then he had to deal with the implications of Ruby’s deceit, which led to Sam inadvertently freeing Lucifer. “That was such a hard day for me," Padalecki shared. “I felt like I had a hangover for days from going where I had to go emotionally when I found out I'd started the end of the world and brought on the Apocalypse. It's not like you read the script and go, 'Oh, cool! Well, let's chase butterflies! Everything is all happy and good…' You really have to commit, and you have to go deep. That’s also where the excitement of being an actor comes in; it's committing and finding new things, and creating. It's discovering those kind of things that you didn't think would happen, where you go, 'Wow, I didn’t know I'd feel like that.' That's just so cool."

"The presence of the angels has already shaken up the Supernatural universe pretty thoroughly. “It's really upped the ante," concurs Ackles. “We've gotten into some real big epic storylines, and it’s cool because it introduced some really unique characters, like Castiel and Anna, and obviously it got Ruby and Lilith more involved, which was great. We're dealing with things on a much larger level, and it takes the guys to an interesting spot, because now they're feeling like this is all way bigger than them and they don’t know how to handle it It’s a situation that they’re not used to dealing with. They’re usually killing vampires and taking out ghosts and shapeshifters and stuff like that. To deal with something on a biblical level added a nice twist to the storyline. Hey, go big or go home, right?"

You can't get much bigger than Lucifer! Which begs the question; 'Where do we go now? How soon will the boys come face -to-face with Lucifer? Can they ever even go back to chasing ghosts and Chupacabras when The Prince of Darkness is loose on Earth? That’s a great question, and I have no idea," Padalecki admits. “I don't know what to expect from Eric Kripke and the other writers, so I just roll with the punches. I'm really anxious, as a fan, to see what happens. I'm really excited about season five, and I cant wait to see where the writers take it.”

Ever since we learned that Sam had demon-given powers, fans have been wondering Just how far the writers will take his journey to the dark side. Not that long ago, many people - including Padaleckl himself - assumed that Sam and Ruby would never hook up. He said he didn't think that storyline would pan out. Of course, the writers did go there. "I thought it was interesting," Padalecki reflects. “Supemalural is not, and never has been - and hopefully never will be - a show about sex and lust and all of that kind of stuff that you expect on teen melodramas.

I think the most important thing about the relationship is that Sam is needy and he’s searching for something, and It’s out of this weakness that he starts going down that path with Ruby. Obviously we know now that he wasn’t hooking up with her just for sex; she was also providing him with demon blood and he's become addicted to her. It shows Sam's strength in keeping on the [hunting) path he set out on years ago.

While it's true that Sam hasn't truly gone dark side (yet), after drinking copious amounts of demon blood, he told Ruby in the season finale that he’s changed for good. Will he continue to change into something less than human? “I hope Sam has changed for good," Padalecki insisted. "I think it'll be more interesting to see him struggle with that than if it's: ‘Oh, well, I haven’t drunk demon blood in a while and I'm okay now!’ That kind of loses where we are in the story, so I hope Sam has turned that corner. It's a much stronger storyline, a much stronger character arc to say, ‘No, it has changed me and now I have to fight that battle.’ It makes it more complicated, and it'll be interesting to see him fight that."

And Sam versus Dean… "I think the fans don't like it when Sam and Dean light,” Padalecki notes, "but it's part of the story. It’s necessary to tell the story of redemption, the story of destiny, and the story of good versus evil, so we really had to flesh it out. You have to hit rock bottom to climb back up to the top. I think Eric has a game plan. Eric is the king of Supernatural, and where he decides the show goes, the show has got to go there."

Of course, the question is; What is rock bottom? Drinking demon blood from your demon lover’s arm? “No,” Padalecki asserts. That’s just a step along the way. “I knew for Sam to change, it had to be something more than just, ‘Hey, hold the demon’s hand and all of a sudden you have demon powers!’ I never wanted it to be a montage of me exorcising demons and doing push-ups and standing on my hands and stuff like that, because that would’ve been a bit cheesy. It was nice that it was something a little more risque, a little bit more sexual and dark and dirty and seedy. There's a whole mythology that goes into drinking blood, and what happens when you drink somebody’s blood is that you take on that person’s attributes. I think it was a nice touch." A nice, dark touch."

So how far is Sam from hitting rock bottom? How dark is too dark for the fans to accept? “I think he’s getting there," says Ackles. “I think he's going to go to a place where he can't get back from entirely.

I think it's going to change the dynamic of the characters, which is cool. To have a show with characters and a storyline that are ever-evolving is always much more interesting than having the same thing week after week after week. Jared's character is taking a dramatic turn that could change the facade of the whole character, and the way he’s written and the way he thinks and talks and acts and walks, so I'm interested in seeing how far they'll take that in season five. Obviously there’s gotta be that brother connection, though.

It's the true [backbone] of the show. I don't think they're going to take it so far as to sever that connection. I think that there’s gonna be this long journey of re-strengthening that brother bond. Td like to see Sam try to get back to a common ground where they can be brothers again."

"Did the writers jump the shark by introducing a third Winchester brother? "No," said Padalecki, “because I think when the Fonz Jumped the shark on an otherwise realistic show [Happy Days], it really ruined it, but Supenatural is so wacky anyway, I think throwing in something like that probably didn’t surprise people.”

So what would surprise people? Having the series finale be a final confrontation between the brothers where good Dean has to kill evil Sam? ‘Tb be honest, I don’t know," said Ackles. “They just might take it that far!"

[darkenforcer]

2 FROM EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THOSE PLEASE

QUESTIONS FOR THE MUN || accepting !

What caused you to start writing? What was your key point?

reading and writing have always been hobbies of mine, so when i learned i could write as the fictional characters i love? with other people!? i was so down!

i don't remember what keyed me in on it, though? i used to play pretend (it was just LARPing, lbr) on the playground until i was around 11, so maybe it kinda clicked in my mind that writing was the natural next step? no clue.

Do you tell your friends / family that you write?

KINDA... i tell people i write with a community online and create "collaborative stories," but i never refer to it as rp or go in-depth unless i know that person's also done it before / is in similar fandom spaces.

Are you happy with how your favorite canon muse was portrayed in canon?

sure, i don't have any major complaints about his writing! it's consistent and fun to compare how differences in the localization shift the tone of certain character/rship-building scenes, while still managing to keep the spirit of his character intact. my only "issue" is that they could've put more time into expanding his character arc in the third act (but the same can be said for every character... a fumble all around tbh).

Have you ever written a canon muse that you first thought of ‘meh’ when they appeared in their canon show/movie/book?

NOPE! can't do it. if i'm not weird about that fictional character from the start, it's very unlikely i'll ever put the effort into forcing myself to write them. i need that click! that spark!

How do you create an OC? What are your steps for developing an OC?

i haven't developed an oc in yearssss so i'm the last person anyone should be asking. uh... (1) be a preteen, (2) develop an insane normal fictional crush, and (3) make an oc to ship them with. bam.

Who was your first OC?

i made my first in-depth oc when i was a wee 9 year old... she started out as a self-insert sonic oc that i obviously had to ship with sonic and shadow bc, duh. i also forced my cousins to make ocs so we could roleplay together lol.

i had more before that one but they were basically just vague roles i slipped into when playing pretend with my friends.

Is there any fandom you regret exploring?

can i say all of them njgnjg i think every fandom out there has its subset of annoying fans who'll make you reconsider ever interacting with anyone you haven't personally vetted lol, even if briefly. for example -- just bc of its infamy -- i never interact with sonic fans outside my circle; i've seen way too many pointless debates and shitty opinions to risk venturing out there again...

In what fandom did you start?

i am SO glad sonic was the first because the ones after it are infinitely more embarrassing.

What are your favorite ships on here (feel free to tag?)

OOO good question!!! i'll start by saying i've been rooting for break/zhilan since day 1 -- love those goobers!! other than that, i enjoy seeing any ship get together on here, like lloyd/zelos, vash/wolfwood (both iterations), nicolette/wang yi... if you're shipping with someone just now i'm hooting 'n hollering whenever they interact.

Have you ever developed a ship based on writing with a certain other character / mun?

nope, not yet! it's not that i'm against developing ships after noticing chemistry betwen muses -- far from it! -- it's just never gotten to the point where i wrote one.

What’s something you find weird on here?

i can't think of anything in particular, so... tumblr's commitment to making their layout as annoying as unoriginal and bloated as possible.

What people make you happy when you see them on the dash?

commence the taggening... you (duh), @kleinstar, @moraypower, @hollowfaith, @cladinivcry, @ultimatelifefcrm, @innerbeast, @nicawlette, @twohundredpower, @spiderstaff, @lalaluuz, ... i can't keep tagging people i'll go on forever...