#i've no wish to see it on screen in any way no matter how many positives people give me

[navree]

I think if they are going to make an Aegon a full on rapist they should do the Brothel Queen(s) so that the Black's image can suffer a similar blow because let's be real, people are already justifying B&C so there's no way they are going to be viewed as bad people. I feel sorry for Alicent obviously because I love her a lot and honestly I will cry if the BQ end up happening because she really can't catch a break (and I would also feel terrible about Helaena because she did nothing wrong, but it just makes no sense for her to be made to suffer it too).

But who am I going to lie to, they'll probably manage it terribly like they've done Alicent's rapes to date and they'll still find a way to make Alicent love Rhaenyra which makes no fucking sense

I think I've been open about my not wanting the Brothel Queens to happen, and honestly that's not going to change. It's a personal thing mostly, I genuinely don't care if it's a good narrative choice or if it would balance out bad portrayals and offer a more grey view of Team Black; any positives I might potentially feel about it are going to be washed away a million times over by how sick the whole thing makes me. I have no, none, zip, zilch, zero interest in watching scenes of two women imprisoned into literally sex slavery and forcibly raped for days on end in any situation, especially when those women are a) characters I like who're already going to be going through some heavy traumas and b) are 1) a woman who was a victim of marital rape since age sixteen and 2) a woman who's had a full psychological breakdown and is completely incapable of taking care of herself in any way let alone performing in a sexual situation. This could be the most well crafted storytelling with the most profound message and the utmost narrative consequences and I won't care, I do not want to see it and I will never want to see it and I get bile in my mouth even thinking of the fact that Mushroom even thought about making it up (which I'm gonna be honest, I'm firmly in the camp that he 100% did) because he found it hot.

And honestly, I don't think it'd be good storytelling, I think it would be really cheap. This show's parent series was notorious for using rape and sexual violence for titillation and shock value, something that HOTD has really shied away from (there's one on screen rape to the best of my recollection, Alicent's, and I actually didn't mind how they handled that in the show, starting it with the shot of Alicent's ruined fingers on the bed as she starts doing her nervous picking and then makes herself stop was incredibly haunting, it's the fandom's reaction to that scene that's insufferable), and going back to it is just gonna feel lazy and unoriginal to me, and more like the writers going "look how awful this is! aren't we so edgy and groundbreaking! aren't you shocked!" over and over. It'd just feel lazy to me.

The thing is, Team Black fans are going to justify anything their faves do, and that would likely include the Brothel Queens storyline, likely under the guise of Alicent deserving it or it being a just punishment for calling Rhaenyra's kids bastards. And listen, no shade, Aemond's gonna be committing war crimes right and left in the Riverlands and I'll be there in my full "you're doing amazing sweetie dot jpeg" era, I get it. But anyone who isn't a full stan, any casual watchers or anyone who's on the fence or just watching the show for the Hell of it, even them Burlington Bar folks, they're going to see the Blood and Cheese scene (provided it stays book loyal in its entirety and doesn't cut away from anything, which I'm hopeful for) for the horror that it is, and for the stain on Team Black that it is. We don't need gratuitous and graphic sexual violence to hammer the point home, especially when Rhaenyra's rule over King's Landing is already filled with a bunch of butchery that made the people turn on her and her family, and even more especially when we know what'll happen to Helaena eventually.

Listen, at the end of the day, you can give me any excuse in the world, that it'll make people realize Team Black are not morally superior, it'll make Team Green more sympathetic, it'll be good drama, it'll be a good storyline, it'll be a compelling narrative, it'll be profound, God himself could descend from the Heavens and tell me that he's ordained that if we get a Brothel Queens scene the entire viewing public will become fanatical Greens supporters, and it will not ever change the fact that I do not want this storyline to happen. Ever.

[aireia]

The night I fell in love with you. — Gojo Satoru

tw/cw: gn! reader, fluff. not proofread. ooc.

note: I wanna know how I've been sick for 2 weeks —masterlist

Social events are common amongst clans. They help strengthen the bonds and relationships between clans, which makes it easier for them to come to agreements on matters.

For all he can remember, Satoru hates social events. He can’t remember how many he’s been to since he was a child, but he can remember the whispers among the crowds and the feeling of eyes on him. He can’t differentiate whether it was admiration, jealousy, hatred, or some other emotion. 

But he has to go. He’s the head of the Gojo clan, one of the most expected people at these private events. He doesn’t really see the point in him showing up, anyway. He doesn’t agree with the views and opinions of any other person there. 

It’s by the time he’s eighteen, maybe a decade after he started attending these parties, that he finally goes to an event that’s worth remembering, because he met you. Someone who agreed that these excuses of events were a bore. The both of you ended up laughing with each other over small talk, completely unrelated to the other people talking about ways to get rid of dangerous sorcerers.

The both of you had a lot in common. For example, your hatred towards the way the elders choose to do things. Satoru didn’t take long to realise this wouldn’t be the last time he would see you at these places, and jokingly asked if you wanted to meet up at these events and go to some corner of the room to talk shit about everyone there. You accepted. 

Maybe that’s when you fell for him. You kept each other company during these times, and laughed together so much anyone would mistake the both of you for friends that hadn’t seen each other for years catching up with each other.

About a year, or two after you met, there was a gathering that required everyone to have a partner to dance with. Now this was becoming ridiculous. Who organises these?! Because he sure as hell didn’t. Satoru groaned  loudly into his pillow when he first received the notice, and reached for his phone on his nightstand to text you about it. 

“We can be each other’s partners.” “I’m sure it won’t take too long.”

He stared at the screen for too long after that. The thought of dancing with you made heat rise to his cheeks. 

“...Satoru? Are you still there?” 

-

On the day of the actual event, he finds himself looking forward to dancing. He has to stop himself from straight up dragging you towards the centre of the room as the music began.

Have you ever seen a rose bloom? Watched the way the petals slowly unfolded? 

Satoru has.

Because that’s what Satoru Gojo saw in front of him when you were dancing together. The vibrance of the petals paled in comparison to your smile, and suddenly, he felt as if he were the thorns that pricked anyone who dared to touch them, for he never wanted this moment to end. His mind flashed back to one of the texts you sent as he got drunk off the sweet scent of your perfume. 

“I’m sure it won’t take too long.” 

No. He hopes the song is a hundred, a million times longer than it is. He never wants this to end. He doesn’t wish for this to become a memory, for he wishes to live in it forever. 

He can see the flames dancing in your eyes, and he feels liquid with the way your bodies move together.

Each step you took was lighter than any falling feather, and in his mind he thinks that maybe he’d have to describe you as a free bird. And he thinks about it, over and over, all the way until the final note of the piece. 

By that time, you’re everything. You’re a rose, you’re a dove… From what he sees through his cerulean eyes, you’re the sun that lights up the sky, yet at the same time the moon that grants dreams through slumber. You’re the waves of the ocean, and you’re the calmness that resides in the deep sea. 

You are his everything.

-

“Satoru?” you walk up to him on the balcony, where he seems to be lost in thought. “It’s getting late. We should go to b– Satoru!” you yelped when he suddenly grabbed your arm and pulled you close to him. 

You know exactly what he’s thinking about, and you can’t help but smile and sigh. 

“May I have this dance?”

by user @ aireia, do not plagiarize and/or translate.

[flanaganfilm]

howdy!! do you rewatch your own work? if so, how often? im wondering if it has the same "artist just sees faults with what they create" thing, or if youre able to appreciate past projects the way they deserve

I don't, typically... usually, by the time we're finished with post production, I've seen the thing so many times that I'm thrilled to stop watching it. I'm either sick of it, or just feeling like it doesn't belong to me anymore. There are other reasons, too - Hill House was a traumatic production for me, for example, I have a lot of complicated emotions woven into it, so I haven't felt ready to rewatch that one since before it aired. Maybe in a few more years.

Somewhat recently, I've revisited a few of the older movies with my eldest son, who is 13 now. He's basically as old as my career itself. We've watched Oculus, Hush, The Midnight Club (which he LOVED, proving it worked for our target audience) and Ouija: OOE together, and each of those screenings was a really cool experience. His reactions and questions were really fascinating, and I felt like I was able to see those movies anew through his eyes. That's the closest I've come to feeling like I was really seeing them, and that's only because so much time has gone by for those. I watched the Director's Cut of Doctor Sleep a few years back at the Stanley Hotel in Estes Park Colorado. It was part of a live NoSleep Podcast event, and that was the first time I'd seen that movie since it was released. It was also the first and only time I'd ever seen the Director's Cut with an audience. That was a really special screening and it meant a lot to me.

I haven't yet had the guts to revisit any of the TV series other than Midnight Club. As my kids get older, I'm sure I'll watch them all with them. The one I'm most excited to see is Midnight Mass, which remains my favorite of the shows. I haven't seen it since before it came out - I remember the last day of post on that show, watching down each episode with final mix and color. That's a series I wish I could actually watch like a viewer at home, and while I'll never truly be able to do that, I look forward to looking at it with some real distance.

There are a few of the older projects I'd be curious to watch now. I wonder how Absentia holds up - I was such a baby when we made that movie, and it's been so long. I imagine I could watch that today and have a really trippy experience. I also haven't revisited Before I Wake in a very long time, and I always really loved that script. The movie was a rough road, and my feelings were mixed by the time it finally found its finish line (Relativity Media really beat that one up), but that could also be a really interesting viewing experience at this stage of my career.

But generally, each of these movies is a journey, and once the journey is over it's tough to ever really go back. There's little point, and moving forward feels like a matter of survival. The "finished product" is only the tip of a large, deep, labyrinthian iceberg for me. It's impossible to only see what's on the surface, no matter how hard I try.

(Interesting side-note: The only exception I've found to this rule is The Life of Chuck. We just finished post production on the movie, and I've watched it dozens and dozens of times now - but I've never grown tired of it, not even a little bit. That movie is something special, and I am eager to watch it again - and again - and again. I don't know that I'll ever want distance from that one; in fact, watching it brings me a sense of joy, comfort, and safety.)

[yanderes-galore]

cna i get a lmk yandere ne zha romantic concept?

Sure! Wish he got more screen time.... (I did not know Season 5 existed when I wrote this, so maybe things changed-)

Yandere! Ne Zha Concept

Pairing: Romantic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Obsession, Overprotective behavior, Jealousy, Violence, Stalking, Manipulation, Arson/Potential murder mention (?), Isolation, Kidnapping, Dubious relationship.

Based on what I've seen of Ne Zha, he seems like he'd be overly stern and serious.

He's responsible Celestial who's occasionally temperamental.

He takes his role as a guard seriously and often stands by such a role.

Which makes me think... Would he protect his obsession with such dedication?

Most likely.

A fellow Celestial obsession would be the easiest for him.

But I personally enjoy the turmoil and conflict he'd experience if his obsession was a mortal or demon not in the realm.

You could even just be a human who's friends with MK.

Only to have a Celestial completely enamored by you and your nature.

He takes everything very seriously with you.

He's conflicted with his feelings at first yet defends you with his life.

He'd give his obsession too many rules.

He'd scold you on safety and never take his eyes off you.

He acts like a guardian to you.

He's used to guarding, actually.

I don't doubt Ne Zha would get jealous.

He'd just try to find some way to justify it.

Ne Zha is another yandere who thinks he's meant to be perfect.

He has a feeling his obsession is wrong... that his feelings are wrong...

Yet this lucidity doesn't appear to be enough to leave you alone.

I imagine even in the Celestial Realm he finds a way to keep an eye on you (easier if you're a Celestial, requires less magical means).

Ne Zha tries to deal with his feelings by deeming himself your protector.

It's familiar... something he knows...

Unlike the darkness of his obsession that is so foreign and... unnerving.

Ne Zha may actually be a little... intimidated by his feelings.

He's aware they aren't pure.

He's lucid enough to know that.

Yet it doesn't stop him from... yearning.

He really does seem like a yandere who'd be overly involved in his obsession's life whenever he can.

Like, you could be talking to someone and he's not far behind giving a disapproving glare.

I imagine he comes off as controlling due to his nature.

But for the most part he starts your bond as just a protective Celestial guardian.

He treats his obsession with as much care as he would any magical item.

He's strong enough to do such a thing, too.

He normally never leaves his post.

Yet he can't help himself when he could be talking to you.

You just make him smile... you relax him.

Seeing you smile when speaking with him is euphoric.

Ne Zha is known to sacrifice anything for those he cares for.

He uses such dedication to alleviate his feelings and stays close to you.

Ne Zha still guards the Celestial Realm, but as his obsession with you grows, he spends more and more time with you.

Celestial Realm... Mortal realm... doesn't matter to him.

He just wants to see you.

His feelings make him fall into a bodyguard realm most of the time.

He isn't quite sure how to deal with his romantic feelings most of the time.

So he mostly just never parts from your side.

He's actually a bit prude until he realizes how much he enjoys... contact.

The moment he gets some sort of hug, hand holding, pat on the back, kiss, etc...

Well now he's hooked.

He has a hard time understanding why he likes you so much at first.

But soon he learns and decides he just... can't let you go.

Once he realizes he likes you romantically, no doubt due to you accidentally giving him affection to be friendly... he's always around.

He doesn't let you have any distance from him.

Many may comment on the fact that he seems overprotective.

Such accusations are often met with Ne Zha glaring at said person... proving their point.

Ne Zha protects you because he loves you.

To him, it doesn't matter how he does it.

He may usually refrain from it, but Ne Zha would do anything for you... including kill if necessary in his eyes.

He usually holds off due to him being somewhat lucid.

But it's a genuine possibility due to his temper.

In many ways he's similar to Red Son.

Although, while Red Son is possessive... Ne Zha is protective.

They're both temperamental and violent with pyromancy, yet for different reasons.

Like, Red Son would burn down the house of a rival because he doesn't want anyone else to share a connection like you and him have.

Meanwhile Ne Zha would do it for similar reasons, yet try to justify it as protecting you... making it seem like he knows the rival would've hurt you if he didn't step in.

Ne Zha would justify all of his behavior as him protecting you.

Why are you so worried, little lotus flower?

Trust him, he's come down from the Celestial Realm to protect you... to love you....

If he's hurt someone, he'll try to convince you it was necessary.

He acts like he knows best due to being a Celestial Guardian.

As most protective yanderes do, he'd use that to bring you back to his side...

Even if he's done something horrible.

He isolates you as his presence is oppressive.

He takes his time with you seriously.

He wants to be the person you turn to, for both protection and affection.

Eventually he may even insert himself into your home, vowing that he's there to watch over you.

You can't get him away from you even if you tried.

At some point he doesn't even want to return to the Celestial Realm.

Soon he may isolate you with himself at your home, or even drag you kicking and screaming with him to the Celestial Realm.

Will it cause issues? Perhaps...

He isn't going anywhere without you, though.

If you tried to leave him, he'd snap at you.

Don't you know how dangerous that is?

Aren't you aware that you need him?

He'll always be there for you... protecting you and kissing your skin whenever you need.

Ne Zha doesn't care what it takes to keep you.

Sure, he may face consequences for burning those he feels could harm you... or for the blood on his clothes... or for the fact he has considered/succeeded in kidnapping you...

Yet Ne Zha has already vowed to do anything for you... because you're his and he's yours...

He doesn't care what happens to him as long as he can show you his devotion.

[aroaceleovaldez]

i hope this doesn't sound like a silly or weird thing to send you, but i'm autistic and have long thought of nico and a handful of other riordanverse characters as autistic and i love your posts about why nico in particular seems intentionally autistic-coded. but i've been thinking, if rick did intend for any of his characters to be autistic, why wouldn't he say so outside of the text at least? i can't think of a good reason why not, when he goes out of his way to be explicit about so many other characters' various marginalized identities and has confirmed things like reyna being asexual outside of the original text. so it gives me this nagging sort of doubt that maybe rick just made nico come off as so extremely autistic coded by accident, somehow. if it wasn't an accident i do kind of wish he'd say so because there's next to zero explicitly stated autistic representation in, like, any media so it'd be nice to have here even if not strictly necessary. either way though, like i said, i love your posts and i agree with you 100% about autistic nico! some others i like to think are autistic are annabeth and leo.

(Most of this is gonna be kind of a tangential ramble to your point and i apologize in advance just bear with me)

This actually touches upon something I've been meaning to do a write-up on recently, which is: depending on the coding, that is our explicit statement. In most coding, actually, that's kind of the point. (Also something something Death of the Author.)

You may have noticed a recent trend across media of characters saying things directly rather than expressing them in a natural way, and often this includes incredibly stilted dialogue of characters explaining things in very politically correct, wikipedia-esque descriptions and terminology that make absolutely no sense for the characters' personalities or mannerisms. This is born out of the idea that if something is not stated in explicit terms, no amount of evidence below an outright direct exact statement will ever count - if two characters of the same gender have an explicit kiss and wedding on-screen, it doesn't matter because they never said the word "gay," etc etc.

In PJO, prior to more recent books, we get plenty of examples of characters explaining parts of their identities without direct statements. Percy never needs to say in outright terms that he has PTSD from Gabe - and it doesn't make sense that he would! He's 12! He's never been diagnosed for that. He probably doesn't even know what PTSD is really. But we, the audience, know without a doubt he has PTSD, because it is clearly expressed to us. That is coding. Tyson is coded as having down syndrome. Nico is coded as being autistic. It doesn't make sense for Nico to turn to the camera and explain that he's autistic and what that means, because he definitely never got diagnosed for it and probably doesn't know what that means cause the diagnosis literally did not exist when he was growing up - and heck, autism terminology was still kind of getting sorted out back in 2007 when TTC was published, so it's unlikely we could have feasibly gotten any exact terminology wink-wink-nudge-nudges short of something like how Percy outright mentions other students called Tyson the r-slur in Sea of Monsters. And in fact we see that same exact style of coding with Nico later on in the series. Nico never turns to the camera and says word-for-word "I am gay, I am mlm, here's me wearing my exact pride flags" (until TOA/TSATS, which... did the exact thing i mentioned about characters speaking like theyre trying to get a good grade in therapy, or giving a powerpoint presentation). But it is never unclear that HoO is telling us outright that Nico is gay. It's not just hinted at. It's there, in your face. But entirely because no one ever outright says "gay" specifically it's technically still only coding. We know he's gay, we know the characters have trauma/ptsd, etc etc. We don't need it spelled out - that's just kind of condescending. It's like if you said describing a character with "eyes like moss" means they were "green-eye coded."

Nico being autistic-coded isn't hidden. It's not a secret. It's very overt. If you know what autism looks like, well, yeah, there he is. Even if you only know very vague 2007 media presentation of autism, Nico in TTC is easily recognizable enough as autistic because that's the point. Tyson is easily recognizable as being coded as having down syndrome and it's very clearly very intentional! It's just never spoon-fed in exact terms to the reader because it's not necessary! You've already been told the information necessary to tell you what is up with this character, so just plainly going "oh they're [x] in exact terms" is very much telling-not-showing and feels redundant. And while there are places for that kind of thing, most of the time it's very unnecessary. Sometimes coding is subtle, sometimes it's obvious, and yeah there are times where writers code characters unintentionally, but the textual evidence is there, and that's the whole point.

And that's what Death of the Author is about - it doesn't matter what the author intended at the end of the day, because if it's in the text it's in the text. You can look at author intent to try and figure out what that text means, but the text is the text. A Separate Peace is a very classic example - author John Knowles denies there being homosexual subtext, and meanwhile one of the protagonists living in 1942 puts on a pink shirt while saying he doesn't mind of people think of him as gay. What the author says after the fact doesn't matter - if it's there, it's there. So Rick saying anything outside of the books is completely irrelevant. And Rick talks about this a lot - he actively tells people that his statements outside of the books are just his own thoughts, but what's in the books is what's in the books, and if the text supports it then that's all the evidence you need.

Nico specifically is a case where yeah, he's clearly autistic-coded. It's very obvious and very obviously intentional when he's younger, and as the books progress it remains a background trait of his but is still notable (except for when it gets forgotten in TOA/TSATS like everything else, including the adhd/dyslexia, but i digress). It's a clear pattern within the first few books that Rick is intentionally including. It doesn't make sense, especially for the year the book was published, for the reader to be directly told in explicit terminology that Nico is autistic, because the reader is already being told that Nico is autistic.

And yeah, Rick doesn't mention Nico being autistic-coded outside of the text, but he also doesn't mention Tyson being coded as having down syndrome. He also said one time that Percy doesn't have PTSD at all, which is very incorrect starting from book 1. Again, Death of the Author. Whatever Rick says outside of the books does not matter, because he already said it in the books. And there's plenty of other stuff in the books that Rick doesn't touch upon, particularly relating to character identity - did you know Leo is Native? Sammy mentions that the Valdez family is Native in Son of Neptune but we don't get any specifics and then it's like never brought up again anywhere. That happens all the time in the series - and outside of the series - Rick can't possibly address every single point to confirm/deny everything from the books. That's what analysis is for! And that's why my blog exists 👍

[gabrielsbubblegumbitch]

Why do you think ppl in fandom have a stronger reaction to rape than murder and cannibalism? Honestly I find it really annoying how they act like they're less horrible crimes than rape. part of me feels like the reason of ppl's disdain for valentino is because he's abusing a fan favourite character like Angel...idk if angel was just another nobody ppl wouldn't cared that much but I could be wrong.

Well the topic of rape generates a stronger emotional response because for at least half of the population it's a very real threat so watching it in the series hits too close to home. I don't think many people are notoriously afraid of cannibals but so many people are forced to constantly think about the threat of potential sexual assault. Everytime I meet a new man I have this thing crawling under my skin, anxious expectation for something bad happen to me, especially when he's charming, popular and handsome; I know I'm not alone in this. Watching those fears depicted on screen is way scarier than seeing Hannibal Lecter making Wellington out of some poor fucker. After all Angel could be me if I'm not "careful enough". So I think that's perfectly fine for people to hate Val or feel uncomfortable watching him and don't have same feelings towards Alastor or Adam. I just don't like when someone uses some global morality as an argument in this discourse because it just a matter of emotional reaction to faction.

Dunno despite my rather healthy relationship with fiction for me it's Adam and Lute that make me uncomfortable. I can interact with these characters only in the realm of memes because for the last 6 months I've been daily seeing what word genocide really means so I don't really wish to dive into minds of people commiting one. That's what scares me. At the same time I don't think that Adam stans support genocide or that I have any moral superiority over them.

[lady-corrine]

https://www.tumblr.com/lady-corrine/733420805658230784

No bc I've seen ALL of these and they make me violent, lmao.

Esp the "did Rhaenyra betray herself" one from the take, a supposedly "feminist" video essay channel.

They say that bc Rhae had bastards and had sex out of wedlock, she deserves to be punished just for not laying down and taking beatings and "being happy" with a man incapable of loving her ROMANTICALLY. No matter WHAT she did, she would have been usurped. Thats the WHOLE point of the story. 🤦

It's truly a sight to behold, isn't it? (in the worst way possible)

I admit I haven't watched any of those videos — I knew they would enrage me and they would waste my time, so there wasn't any point in doing it. Even so, there is much to unpack here.

The attitude towards Rhaenyra from supposed "feminists" is beyond upsetting. They want for Rhaenyra to be submissive, obedient, subservient, to "shut up and endure". In their twisted vision, this is what makes a woman "worthy" — biting her tongue and being a perpetual victim (you can see how sick this is).

For them, a man (say Robert Baratheon) can fuck around and have as many bastards as he wishes, but if a woman has sex outside of marriage they slut shame her and deem her not fit to rule.

Mind you, Aegon II is a canonical rapist on screen and a sexual abuser in the book. When they search for him in the book, they find him having sex with a 12 years old girl - let that sink in, please!

Rhaenyra has to be a paragon of morality and purity and virtue — not Aegon though! He's the true king because has a dick between his legs!

But somehow it is Rhaenyra — Rhaenyra who was forced into her marriage with a gay man, Rhaenyra whose sons were recognized and accepted by Laenor and Corlys as true Velaryons, Rhaenyra whose sons were, above everything else, her heirs, through her and her alone — that is the villain and the monster, and unworthy to rule.

And I wonder if these people's hatred for Rhaenyra isn't actually them projecting and hating the autonomy that Rhaenyra displays in refusing to comply with her unhappy situation/marriage. She seeks joy and pleasure elsewhere! She doesn't just sit there and take it! And they loathe her for it!

God forbid if you're a woman and love sex!

"How dare Rhaenyra have sex outside of marriage?" Ma'am, the Middle Ages called. They want their mysoginistic and patriarchal concepts back!

Even more, since in their perception Rhaenyra defies her "duty" through her body (by having extramarital sex), they cheer for her being tortured, enduring physical suffering and ultimately having a gruesome death (see here).

Rhaenyra being slut shamed is also, tragically, a regular and common theme in this fandom:

Are any more words nedeed?

What else is there left to say?

[siriuslydeadfr]

The thing about Luca is that. And I say this as a writer, I suppose, but also as a queer person, that he exudes a certain feeling of safety, and comfort. Like, to have him play something will mean he's going to give you his everything. No matter the character, you'll see a sincerity that isn't just the product of the script, or the demand of it, but also the mind of the actor.

To know that a person of his calibre is out there playing queer characters so effortlessly, and without a doubt in their mind, without any prejudice blinding his artistic choices and who he is as a person, it's obviously a ray of hope, but it is also, then, a kind of trust, even if it is just parasocial in many ways.

I know if it's Luca playing a certain queer character - regardless of what happens to them in the script, that is if the script is stupid and insincere to the queer perspective in certain ways - I'd still easily trust him to do justice to the queer experience, for how sincerely he plays everything.

The whole every-character-of-his having a underlying homoerotic quality to them is all fun and cool and great and beautiful, but also, it's so fucking refreshing

It's been decades of asking for the correct representation in media, it's been years and years of queerbaiting and, if not that, just general lack of care

I've been accustomed to just wanting some of my favourite characters to be gay. Just thinking and wishing and hoping that someone someday will let them reach the full scope of their personality, let them have the right sort of ending, see first the fabric of their person, and not just the thread of their sexuality, and maybe then write the script. There have been all sorts of emotions, and so to find now a person who is doing just that? It's pure beauty.

For a while now it's been changing, more and more shows and films are becoming inclusive and accepting and understanding of the queer gaze, and it's so beautiful that Luca contributes to it with his whole heart, and has been for a long while.

Many must remember how it used to get with artists and makers always denying or trying to tip toe around the obvious queerbait, or shying away from the conversations that involved that queer perspective, or outright rejecting the very idea- it happens still - but then you see the likes of Luca and Marwan being comfortable in each other's company and also about the love they shared on screen (especially, i think, it begs to say, with them being men), talking happily about their characters, making playlists for them, recommending poems for them

A lot many actors now are open to these conversations, a lot of them now talk about it with nuance and care, with just the right words, and though it's in no way any less a contribution to the conversation, or any less genuine, but again, there is something to be said about the ease Luca shows.

Again, as I said before.. it feels safe, with him.

In a lot of his interviews, he doesn't bat an eye before saying things like - I was lucky to have him as my husband. And he means it, you can tell that by the smile on his face. When people are focusing on the movies' objective and the friendships in it, he easily goes and says it's not only the friendship, but also the love.

In another of his interviews, there was once this question about Roberta, about if he knew what was demanded from him and how he prepared for a transsexual character. I remember it because I was almost sure I'll be hearing some generic answer like I studied trans people for this role and this that blah blah, something ignorant, basically. I was braced for it. But he just said. (And he was talking in english, and all that he was trying to say was conveyed more through his face and gestures, it was super cute actually) - I read the script, and I just felt something. I didn't think about playing a transsexual, but a woman, with a friend. It was important for me to show the love she had for him. So. I just played a woman helping out a friend :)

And I was like ?? wait that's? That's all? You're not going to go deep into the character's psyche and the great moral upstanding you must be feeling for doing a role like this? You're not going to talk about how you "prepared" for this role or how it was "different" for you?

I was so used to people doing that, his simple answer took me by surprise.

and that's what's so refreshing, so comforting.

There's no hesitation in him, no prejudice or preconceived notions or activism, even, compelling his choices and words.

It's just him, plain and simple.

He's committed to his art in a way that people rarely are. Especially in media, where even big companies and huge hollywood stars often fail you.

I wish more people in this world were like him. So gently open in his ways, so effortless in his understanding and acceptance that it becomes intrinsic to him.

He's one of the few people, I would say, who are an artist not just by work, but also by nature.

[communicationthroughlyrics]

I Got a Secret, So I'ma Drop 'Em to the Floor

Years of observation had you watching the redhead from afar- wishing, hoping, that someday you could get past your one night stands for her.

8.1K Word Count

A/N: Welp, here it is, sorry for dragging it out so long, I've been hella sick of late. Enjoy, and Merry Chrysler!

TW: daddy kink, strap on use, poorly translated Russian, face riding, angst and mutual pining, nat being a total pillow princess because she deserves it, edging. 18+

You hated this time of year. The pomp and circumstance of the holidays never sat well with you- never feeling like you had

anything worth celebrating. You were always dedicated to work first and never gave yourself the time for more than a meaningless fling. The seemingly forced happiness many coworkers at your workplace exuded, mixed with the obligatory Christmas parties, one of which you were currently getting ready for. You had no desire to attend, but the obligation of this being your business made it necessary. The buzzing of your phone on the right bedside table told you that someone had texted- presumably your assistant, Kate. 

You were lucky- you were running the only all-female partner-led law firm in New York. You, being the original, founding member, a prodigal law student from Stanford University, finishing your Masters in Criminal Law in an unheard of 3 years out of high school, and being brought up under the tutelage of Matt Murdock before breaking out of the Nelson and Murdock firm and starting your own. With much criticism at your decision to leave the best law firm in the state, you were met with unfathomable backlash, people trying to make it impossible for your firm to succeed, but your mentor knew what being the underdog meant, how hard it was, and was in your corner the entire way. 

Within the matter of a half-decade, you became one of the most highly sought-after lawyers in the state and had a legion of powerful women behind you as partners in your law firm, and with that- you had the only truly all-female law firm in the state, and most likely the country. Y/L/N, Sharpe, Book, and Walters were the best of the best. You also had a slew of “up and coming” hotshot female lawyers, people always seemed to pick apart the penchant you had for dynamic, jaw-droppingly attractive, and authoritative women. Your love life was nothing for any outsider to envy- you hardly dated, just fooled around with whatever poor, unsuspecting should fall into your allure, your uncanny ability to entice and ensnare even the most savvy and discerning women. 

Glancing at your phone, you were correct in seeing Kate's name flashing on your screen, a quick text is sent to confirm that you were, in fact, on your way to the holiday party. You peered over your shoulder, seeing the myriad of Christmas lights mixed with city lights, overlooking the holiday festivities being had in Central Park. Grasping the green pinstripe suit jacket and flinging it over the shoulder of your cream-colored turtleneck-clad frame, you made your way down to where your driver was waiting for you. Hopping into the back of the blacked-out SUV, and made your way towards the meatpacking district, to STK, where you had been able to cover the operating costs of the restaurant for the night, and then some, to ensure the restaurant was only full of employees of your large firm. A few members had ‘decorated’ the restaurant as if everyone attending didn’t already know the impending holiday was the reason for the party.

You could hear the overwhelmingly jolly music blaring from the interior of the restaurant as you arrived- you only let yourself indulge in the musical accompaniments of the season on the holiday itself, any more than that seemed to be too much. Bracing for what was behind the door, you pulled your arms through the sleeves of your coat, taking a deep breath and allowing yourself to exhale, watching the cold air around you transform your warm breath into opaque clouds. 

“Is the big, bad attorney afraid of a little festive fun?” 

You rolled your eyes in response as you turned to face the source of the voice. One of your aspiring partners, Wanda, stood behind you. With her signature head tilt and smirk, she was looming on your heels, arms crossed. She looked stunning in an all-black suit, her blazer not leaving much to the imagination as there was nothing on underneath. Of course, you knew what was underneath, you had already slept with her, to say it was a shock when she walked into your office a few days later, announcing she was the new junior attorney was an understatement. She had tried many times to get back in bed with you, but you never broke the 2-night rule. There was only one person that you consider ever breaking that rule for the one woman in the office you hadn’t seen completely bare- Natasha Romanoff. She was the only person in the office to give you a run for your money, and she could go toe to toe with your antics. She had arguably bed just as many as you, and most certainly wasn’t shy about it. 

“No, Maximoff. There’s a difference between fear and hatred. I hate the holidays.” You snark back, her tutting at her revelation. 

“Oh, Y/L/N, you should never tell others what gets under your skin. Now, come come, let’s go inside. It’s freezing out here.” She loops her arm in yours, leading you to the door of the chophouse. You let her lead you towards the door, withdrawing your area from hers as you walked inside, taking in the dull roar of the crowd now occupying the space, various shades of red, gold, green, and silver smattered throughout, with pine boughs and wreaths adorning the columns in the space, and various ornaments and a fairly large Christmas tree nestled in the far corner, surrounded by the gift boxes that held everyone Christmastime bonus, meticulously wrapped by your assistant. Wanda quickly made her way to a group of junior litigators who were clustered at the end of the bar. One thing you will give the redhead credit for, she certainly held the presence of being a bonafide partner, she never once acted like a timid junior who was afraid of fucking up. 

As you wormed your way through the crowd, you stopped time and time again, everyone thanking you for the party or feigning interest by asking your plans for the holidays, some of the plus ones asking where your significant other was, some of the elder employees shocked you hadn’t a girlfriend, let alone a date. By the time you had made your way to the partner’s table, the amused look on Jennifer’s face made it obvious to your disdain for the social interaction. She handed you a glass, your gaze questioning its contents as the dark brown liquid swirled around the martini glass. 

“It’s an espresso martini, Y/N. Relax. You need to loosen up.” Her eyes went wide as you slammed the booze back, smiling as you set the glass onto a passing waiter’s tray. “Jesus, I didn’t mean like that…”

“Relax, Jenn,” you snarked, mocking the tone she used with you. You slowly made your way around the table, greeting and talking to everyone, before turning around as she walked in the padded front doors. 

“You have a little bit of something…there, ya know?” Kate whispered at you, motioning at her bottom lip as you watched the woman make her way through the restaurant, her gaze briefly shooting your way, smirking as she gave you a once over. You think you may have stopped breathing, between her all-white suit with her auburn hair that you honestly just wanted to see stuck to her forehead covered in sweat, you dreamed of seeing her panting and what her moans would sound like and had to shake yourself out of it, quickly turning the other direction and flagging a waitress down for a drink. After smacking Kate and telling her to leave you alone, you flashed a bright smile at the woman who took your drink order, her shy smile causing you to laugh as you made your way toward your seat, planning on ordering your dinner so you could give everyone their token seasonal package and then the sooner you could be home, with your lingering thoughts of the redhead meandering from table to table, laughing and talking to various people throughout the room. 

***

You couldn’t help but notice throughout the night that she made her way around to every single person, including the partners, everyone except for you. Dismissing the behavior of the flirtatious redhead, you made your way to the bar, having given your speech to congratulate everyone on the banner year and wanting a repeat performance, blah, blah, blah. You began to hit on the ridiculously attractive barkeep, flirting your way to her remaining down at the end of the bar you sat, blushing at the remarks you would make as she kept you well hydrated.

“Well, Y/N, you can certainly put a holiday party together. I can’t say the same for your speeches.” Your breath caught ever so slightly, and you rolled your eyes, turning to the redhead beside you.

“Happy fucking Holidays to you too, Romanoff. Also, probably not how you should be talking to your boss.” You smirk, taking a sip of your drink before setting the drink back down on the marble bar top. You took in the woman standing next to you, her red locks curled and flowing over her shoulder, the white suit with her gold rings and necklaces, and white heels that still didn’t bring her quite to your height. You imagined the look of those necklaces dangling in your face as she rode your strap to oblivion, her hair in a curtain surrounding your face. You took another sip of your drink, watching the woman’s every move. 

“Well, boss, considering how you’ve been eye-fucking me all night, I think I should get a pass.” You almost spit out your drink at the remark. 

“What the hell are you going on about, Romanoff?” She left you speechless by the bar, winking after receiving her drink. She made her way to the makeshift dance floor on the other side of the restaurant, where she rocked and swayed with her drink and the music. She kept her distance, but her gaze was piercing through you no matter where you ended up at the party. After a few more drinks, you had finally loosened up enough to dance around with the music some, but it wasn’t anywhere near how you wanted to be dancing, nor who you wanted to be dancing with. Thinking that one more drink wouldn’t hurt, you stood at the bar, waiting for the new bartender to make you your drink. You had been hoping for the same smoke-show blonde to be behind the counter, but she had left, and someone else- who most definitely wasn’t her- was manning it now. 

“Don’t look so disappointed, Y/N.” a voice resonated through the music from behind you. 

“I can’t help it, I wanted something to do when I got home tonight…” you answered, the alcohol at this point not helping you to filter what probably should and should not be said at a work function you are throwing. You missed the look of disappointment on the face of the woman behind you. 

“Something, or someone?” they spoke over the music, right into the shell of your ear. Goosebumps erupted across your body at the breath fanning across the side of your face. 

“Someone,” you answer, turning around to face the frame behind you, putting yourself ungodly close to Natasha’s now shimmering body, an expression of amusement on your face. If there was one thing people (who stuck around) always seemed to be annoyed with, it was your gross ability to be extremely confident- borderline cocky, and acerbic the more you drank. You usually pissed more people off than you charmed as the night went on. But all that usually mattered was that someone was going to lay in your bed that night. And they would get railed senseless. 

Your wandering gaze wasn’t missed by the redhead, but she was still slightly caught off guard by your remark, thinking you wanted the bartender to be your companion home. Natasha had been playing the long game- she had been pining after you since she saw you speak at a college seminar, you are the reason Natasha got into law. When you accepted her application as an intern junior associate, she thought she might explode. You had her working on a team with Jenn as her mentor. While she was disappointed she wasn’t on your team- she soon found out you didn’t have one. You worked alone. She has been working to gain your attention ever since, a small glimmer of her hoping you would once- just once- make an exception. She saw the “tough guy” charade, the playgirl demeanor, and frankly saw right through you. You had no idea, but Natasha could read you like a book.

“Don’t be such an ass, Y/L/N.” You scoff at the remark, putting your arms up. 

“Whoa, whoa, whoa… Romanoff… do I sense some jealousy? Or did you have her on your to-do list as well?”

“Oh, please, Y/N. I am most certainly not jealous. And no, the blonde bimbo was not on my to-do list. Unlike some people I know, I don’t make it a sport to pass through every floozie in the 5 boroughs.”

“I don’t make it a sport, Romanoff. It just comes naturally. Besides… no one can handle me on the regular anyways.” You turn your back to the redhead, the bartender sliding you your drink. The booze didn’t stand a chance, you downed it in one gulp, wiping the back of your hand over your mouth, cleaning the corners of your lips with your thumb. You pretended not to notice the slight tint to the woman’s cheeks, and the small glimmer in her eyes as they darkened slightly at your actions. “Now, Romanoff. You can either join me for the after-party down the street, or you can shut the fuck up about my lifestyle.” You spoke into the woman’s ear as you stood more upright, having to bend over slightly to reach her pierced ear. “Maybe now, you can learn from the master…” you quip, digging at her antics of going toe to toe with your sexual prowess. 

“Please, Y/L/N. If anyone is going to be learning anything, it isn’t me.” She snarked back, playing right into your hand. You pretended not to see her body shiver slightly as you spoke in her ear, but you knew you finally had her where you wanted her. 

“Let’s go, Romanoff.” You grabbed the woman by her arm, leading her out a side door, where no one from the office could see. The brisk air was a shock to both of you, as you both let out a slight gasp at the chill in the mid-December air. You continued to walk, leading the woman to one of the few nightclubs you would allow yourself to frequent. Luckily, it was a short walk from STK, so you noticed the strobing and pulsating lights, and then you began to hear the dull thrum of the music from inside. It was bound to be packed- this was a Friday night, after all. You approached the bouncer, grabbed Natasha’s hand and he let you in front of all the people in line, recognizing you instantly. 

“Come here often, I take it?” She asks as you get inside, dropping her hand to thread your arm around her waist, leading her to the bar. 

“Yeah, you could say that.” You smile, flagging down one of the usual bartenders. He recognized you instantly and began to make you your usual drink. “What do you want, Romanoff?” You ask, placing your mouth right next to the redhead’s ear so she can hear the question over the music. 

“Triple vodka and soda water, please.” She answers, watching you lean over the bar and give the barkeep your order. He smiled, nodded, and went to make her drink, going heavy on the pours. 

“I know you like your vodka, Romanoff. You fucking Russians, I swear you drink that shit like it’s fucking water.” You cringed at the thought, handing her the glass that was mostly alcohol. 

“Yeah, well there’s other things us fucking Russians like to do too. And please, call me Nat. You don’t need to use my last name like we’re in the fucking military.” She says as you sit at your usual table upstairs, in the corner, away from the dance floor. “You even have your table here? Who’d you pay off for that treatment?”

“No one. I’m always here, made friends with the owner. Now he treats me like a daughter.” You reply, taking a large swig of your drink, and unbuttoning a few of the buttons on your shirt, so you only have 3 buttons holding your shirt over your stomach. Natasha pretended not to watch as you unbuttoned them with one hand, as you watched the crowd, but you caught her stare. “See something you like, Nat?”

“Huh? Oh... no. Hell no. Just thinking.” She responded, quickly turning her head away, and taking a large drink of her poison before looking at the floor below. “Wanna dance? Christmas music is hard to get a rhythm to…” she asked, looking your way. 

“No, I'm good. I’ll watch from up here, and see if someone catches my eye.” You wink, taking another sip of your drink as she nods and goes back downstairs, worming her way through the sea of bodies. She found a spot that you could just barely see, and you kept your eyes trained on her as it wasn’t long before she had a few guys come up to her. 

You could see her turn them away, their dejected expressions showing that she didn’t let them down easily. But then, you recognized the woman approaching her as the bartender from the restaurant, and Natasha glanced at you before nodding as they started to dance. It started innocently enough, but as the songs faded from one to another, and the closer their bodies got. Soon, the redhead had her hands wrapped around the waist of the blonde, the blade’s arms around Nat’s neck. You could feel the bile rising in your throat, as not only the woman you wanted was too close to a woman you were trying to take home in her place. It was a sick, sick, game. Natasha would occasionally glance at you, ensuring that she was getting the rise she wanted out of you. She knew that this could very well be the tipping point- and may get her what she wanted most.

__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

You watched as the two seemed to get more affectionate as the night went on, and before you knew it, your body was involuntarily moving back to the bar, where you ordered a few shots, downing them back to back to back, before making your way onto the floor and finding someone that was dancing alone. You were sure to keep your gaze on or around Natasha, trying to monitor her every move. She was clenching her jaw at the brunette now “dancing” by you, but the poor thing was so drunk you could barely call her dancing a seizure. It looked embarrassing she was like a fish out of water, just flopping herself all over you and anyone who bothered to come near her. But Natasha still didn’t like it. 

You moved around, going from woman to woman, dancing, and grinding, but never letting your envious gaze leave the woman you wanted the most. She was the same, now moving around from woman to woman, but her eyes always seemed to linger on yours. Finally, you felt like you had been goaded enough. You waited just long enough for her to push away from someone else, and as her back turned, you slid up behind her, slipping your hands around her waist, moving with the new song that was pulsating over the speakers. 

“Having fun, are we?” You asked, pressing the woman’s back to your front, earning a slight gasp. 

“I am, thank you.” She smirked, and god- that sideways smile could honestly bring you to your knees. “I thought you didn’t want to dance?”

“I couldn’t help it, my song came on.” She laughed, her head leaning backward to your shoulder. 

“Please, Y/N. You saw me dancing with your conquest from earlier. You got jealous.” She turned around in your arms, slotting one leg in between yours, as you pulled her hips up to yours. You continued to move to the beat of the music, keeping as little airspace as possible between your bodies. You swore you could honestly light a fire with the amount of heat being generated between you two at the moment. 

“You see, Natasha, that’s where you’re wrong.”

“Oh? And how would that be wrong? You were pining after her all night back at the restaurant.” She quipped, but you saw the jealousy flash across her face.

“That was me settling, dorogoy.” you watched her eyes darken at the use of the Russian endearment. 

“Uhh, one…when did you learn to speak Russian and two… settling?” She asked.

“Ohh milaya, I can speak a few languages…” You whispered in her ear, causing a large eruption of goosebumps to erupt across her collarbone and shoulders. “…and yes, I was settling. There was someone else I wanted more at the party.”

“Blyat…” she whispered, hoping you wouldn’t hear her.

“Ah, ah, ah…saying things like that won’t get you the answers you want.” You quipped, turning her back around, pressing her back to your front.

“Oh? And how do you know what I want? Are you like Santa Claus now?” She chuckled at the joke, gasping when your hand ran up her side, drifting over her exposed collarbone and settling loosely around her neck. Her eyes quickly clouded over and closed, her head leaning her head back so her mouth rested by your ear. 

“Detka, I sign your checks. I am kinda like Santa Claus.” She groaned as you pushed your hand up the column of her throat, pulling her lip from the prison in between her teeth and continuing up, grabbing onto her hair and gently pulling her back flush with you. “…But I can think of a few other things you can call me…” you whispered against the shell of her ear, pulling her hair down so her neck was strained and her eyes screwed shut. You ran your teeth and tongue up the side of her neck, coming to rest being her ear, by her throbbing pulse point.

“Fuck, Y/N…” she groaned as leaned back into you. As soon as you let her hair go, she snapped her head back, turning herself around in your arms, and grinding to the music down your now outstretched leg. She came back up, her forest green eyes dusted with lust, coming to a stop as your noses touched. “I don’t want to be a conquest for the night, detka.” She emphasized how you pronounced the very same word to her earlier. 

“Well, how cocky of you, did you think that is what I wanted? You think of all the people in that office, and around this city I have slept with, that you could change how I go about my personal life?” You backed away ever so slightly, the redhead was slightly stabling, so you caught her by her ribcage, pushing her backward away from you. 

“Please, Y/N. I see how you gawk, I know you’ve run through almost every person in that office like a wildfire, and you-YOU-don’t have any desire to put your hands all over this?” She spun, dropped low, and stuck her ass straight back into your groin. She gasped as she felt the “little surprise” you had been wearing all night. She stood up, backing her ass back up into you, rubbing all over your strap, causing you to groan as you watched. “How about you give me a little extra ‘Christmas Bonus’, hmm?” She continued to wiggle against you, the concealed toy hitting the right spot to cause you to let out a throaty moan. “C’mon, detka, I want to hear you, I want to see you fuck me… with this…” she emphasized as she palmed the toy, peeking over her shoulder at you. You pushed her shoulders down, causing her to bend at the perfect angle, and come up slowly against you, and just as she reached the perfect position, you thrust your hips forward driving the toy into her ever so slightly. 

“You’re coming with me.” You responded as you grabbed her waist, leading her off the dance floor, back to your table to collect your belongings, as you called your driver to meet you out front. She flung back another drink as you were walking down to the lower lever, sliding the glass across the bartop and linking her hand in yours. You stood behind her as the chauffeur arrived in front of the club, and as you opened the door, leaning towards Natasha’s ear, you whispered, “Let me show you how much I want this to not be a one-night stand, detka.” You’re lips ghosted the shell of her ear, and you slid your hand down, grabbing her ass and pushing her into the car as she turns around with an astounded face. She sat there, staring, as she couldn’t quite wrap her head around the words you just said. You sat there with your legs spread, a cocky smirk adorning your features, watching her come to terms with what you had just said. 

“You…wha…what???” She questioned, all confidence seeming to be gone at this point, the power in your hands. 

“Oh, come on, baby girl… daddy didn’t stutter… you heard me correctly.” You snarked, leaning back and stretching your arms over the back of the seat, loosening your tie and unbuttoning the top buttons of your shirt. You didn’t miss how she reacted, her legs squeezing together as she screwed her eyes shut, groaning at your demeanor. You leaned forward, looking at her closed eyes, pulling her chin towards you, in between your thumb and forefinger. “Don’t leave me waiting, doll. Repeat what I said.” You smirked as her eyes flew open, and she took in your proximity, your thumb running over her prominent cheekbones. She leaned into your touch, as you opened your hand and slid your palm alongside her face, grabbing onto the back of her head to get her attention. “What…did…daddy…say?” You punctuated each word, inching her face closer with every pause. 

“That… that I’m coming with you?” She asked, your lips curling into a sinister smile as she tried to remember the rest of your statement. “…and…and that you want to show me this won’t be a one-night stand?” She whispered the last part, like she was afraid you would deny the statement, and kick her to the street after riling her up to the point that she was sure her arousal could be seen through her new work pants. Your grip loosened as she mentioned the last part, a whimper leaving her slightly parted lips as you leaned forward, trapping her against the bench seat in the SUV across from you. 

“Good girl, milaya.” You whispered against her lips, her eyes screwing shut as to pressed your lips to hers in a chaste, fiery kiss. You knew you were pulling into your parking garage, so there wasn’t time to get her properly edged. She moaned as you traced the inside of her mouth with your tongue, trying to memorize everything you could before your driver opened the door. You pulled away all too quickly, right as the door opened, and she almost fell forward in the direction of the kiss. “Whoa, be careful detka…there’s no rush. We have all night.” You respond as she moans, you catching her falling frame as you slip out of the SUV, holding out your hand as she stumbles towards you, almost falling out of the back. You laugh, wrapping your arms around her slim waist and lifting her down to the ground, setting her down carefully. 

You reach your hand out behind you, leading her towards the elevator that would carry you up the 129 floors to your penthouse. The moment you backed into the elevator, she pressed herself onto your leaning frame, grabbing hold of the tie around your neck and pulling you in for another scorching kiss- a kiss that would make Eros and Himeros blush. A clashing of tongue, teeth, and winded breath as you both clawed at each other, fighting for dominance in the kiss, you eventually winning by gripping her hips so tightly she would surely have bruises in the morning, spinning her around and slamming her into the opulent wall of the elevator. The moan that left her mouth was filthy and sinful, and you couldn't wait to make her groan like that all night long. You pulled her head to the side and kissed your way up and down her neck before the door dinged open, and you backed away, smirking at her glassed-over expression as you led her into the penthouse. She glanced around at the space, smiling at the token Christmas tree tucked in the corner, half decorated as the only evidence of the season she could seek out. You began to further unbutton your shirt, standing there as she took in her surroundings, and when she turned around, she saw your dress shirt completely unbuttoned, the tattoos adorning your ribcage now ever present, the tie barely hung around your neck, and your jacket flung over your shoulder. 

“You just gonna stand there and admire? Or are you gonna put Daddy to use?” You respond, biting your lip slightly, as she stalks over to you like she is hunting prey. She grabs a hold of your shirt, pulling you into her and running her nimble fingers over your bare chest. 

“No bra tonight, darling?” She asked, her eyes darkening as she slowly began inching her hands all over your frame, sweeping her thumb underneath your breasts, tracing the tattoo that resides in between. “Fuck, detkaaaa…” she drew out the endearment in her mother tongue, running her nose up your neck and behind your ear. You wrapped your muscular arm around her waist, scooching it down to beneath her thighs. 

“Up, babe…” you tap her thigh with your other hand, signaling for her to jump into your arms, you looping your forearm under her ass as she wrapped herself around your front like a koala. She began to rock her hips slightly, trying to gain friction against the member you still had in your pants, but you pulled her up higher so she couldn’t reach it. “Ah ah, behave…” you whispered into her ear, feeling the goosebumps erupt across the span of her back and thighs. “You don’t want to be a bad girl on your first night, do you? You don’t want to disappoint me, malyshka…” you kicked open the door to the bedroom as she nestled herself into your neck, you threw the blazer off your shoulder and onto the chair by the door. The whining and squirming mess attached to your frame like a leach squealed as you threw her onto your massive bed in the center of the room. Her red hair fanned out perfectly as she pulled out her ponytail holder, and her legs crossed as she bit into her lip so hard the skin turned white. “Ooooh, baby… be nice to those perfect lips… don’t bite so hard…” you tutted as you reached out, dragging your thumb across her lower lip, pulling it from the grasp between her pearly white teeth and red lipstick. You began to remove the dress shirt from your frame, tossing it in the same direction as the chair that now has your jacket on it. You began to loosen the tie, yelping as she pulled you forward so her lips rested on your ear. 

“Leave the tie, detka…” she pulled back, looking into your eyes as you groaned at her response. 

“Lie back for me, Natasha…” you leaned back, unbuckling the belt on your waist, whipping it out of your belt loops, and throwing it to the side, before unbuttoning your pants. You kneeled with your knee slotted in between her legs, leaning over her frame with both your arms flanking her side. “Tell me, me… malysh… how would you like this to go? Do you want Daddy to take it easy?” You trailed your finger upland down her clothed chest, biting your lip when you also felt, no bra. With one hand, you began to unbutton her shirt, slowly, painstakingly slow, as you continued to trail your finger up and down the now bare, creamy skin. Leaning over, your trailed kisses up the center of her sternum, nipping at her collarbones as open-mouthed kisses trailed over the expanse of her pale chest and neck. You leaned back as you finally reached the bottom of her shirt, she sat up and quickly tossed the offending article to the side. 

“Please… please Y/N…” she moaned as you returned to nipping and kissing, soothing and licking spots all over her chest. She began bucking her hips slightly, trying to gain friction where her core was aching most. 

“Aw,  ‘please…please Y/N’ “ you mocked as you pulled back, shoving her back down to the bed and taking in her disheveled state. She was squirming, squeezing her legs together as you grabbed a from the hold of her ankles, making the auburn-haired woman moan as you ripped them apart, and groaned at the visible wet patch forming on the dress pants she was wearing. “Ohh, detka… you’re drenched… all for me? It looks like I owe you a new pair of pants…” you snarled in their face, causing her eyes to roll back as your finger swiped up the folds outside of her pants. You groaned as the fabric now clung to the form below, seeing the detail of her pussy coming through the drenched, white fabric. You leaned over, swiping your nose through her crotch as you leaned over her, watching as her frame squirmed beneath you, her eyes screwed shut. 

“Please…please Y/N… take them off…’m so uncomfortable…” she trailed off, squirming as her hands grasped at the sheets below. Ripping her legs apart again, your deft fingers unbuttoned her pants, before slowly gliding down the soft fabric, teasing her inner thighs, before getting down to her ankles, and ripping the fabric from her frame. She gasped at the sudden cold- her back arching as you slid your arm under the small of her back, lifting her frame with ease and tossing her deeper onto the mattress, before stalking over her now bare frame. You leaned back onto your heels, admiring the now easily apparent bruises adorning her collarbone, the scratches running down her chest to her belly, and the flushed expression with her mouth agape as she wriggled beneath you. You looked down to see her sopping, puffy cunt dripping onto the fabric below, her legs shaking to rub together, but your frame in between kept that from happening. 

You leaned up to her ear, purposely driving your thigh into her dripping sex, nipping at the shell of her ear- earning an almost pornographic moan from the woman. 

“You have no idea, krasivaya, how long I have been thinking about this… How long I have wanted to see you, feel you, hear you, taste you.” A devilish smirk laced your features. “Now, detka- make yourself useful…ruin daddy’s pants, doll.” You nipped at her pierced ear, jingling the pricing with your tongue, and feeling the woman’s back arch against you as her eyes rolled back. 

“Fuuuuuuuuck…. Y/N…” she moaned, her hips picking up their pace as you stilled them beneath you. 

“Ah, ah… what’s my name, darling?” You pinched her hip bones, before pushing your hands up her frame and resting them on her pebbled nubs, lightly running your fingers over them, teasing her with the ghost of your touch. 

“Hnnnng…..daaaa…..daaaaddy…” she moaned as she scratched her nails down your chest. 

“There you go…there’s my girl…” you respond, grabbing hold of her hips and beginning to run her folds up and down the covered musculature of your thigh. You randomly would flex your leg, allowing for a variation in her pleasure. You groaned as you watched the slick patch develop on your thigh saturating the fabric on your legs, groaning as the folds of her pussy would part and slide up and down, her hips driving up as she tried to gain friction on her aching clit. “Good girl…” you moaned as you watched her thrusts become firmer and sloppier, signaling she was reaching her peak. Shut as you felt her legs begin to tremble, and her entrance began clamping around nothing, you pulled her away from your leg. She let out a pained groan, her climax beginning to fade away as a dull sheen of sweat became present on her body. 

“Ah, ah… babygirl- terpeniye (patience)…You want to cum on Daddy’s strap, yeah?” You shushed her moans, pushing your finger into her swollen lips. She opened her watery, dark green orbs, a doe-eyed, lusty expression taking over her features. She nodded furiously as he bit her lip again, you tutting and leaning down, freeing her lip and capturing them with your own. The kiss started slow, passionate, as all the pent-up emotions of years of watching her prance around your office, her professional cockiness irritating to most, but it made your heart swell like the Grinch to think that she wanted that kind of power, and authority and rapport within the community- next to you. Everyone always tried to use you, sleep with you, to get the next position- no one ever outright said they wanted to work beside you. 

“Push…puhlease…daddy… I need you… I’ve been dreaming… of this… for so…so long…” she moaned and squirmed, pawing at your breasts, pulling the hair on the nape of your neck, and the bulge that is yet to be uncovered from your pants. Your eyes rolled back at her admission, a brief sigh leaving your lips as you leaned back, looking down at the sopping wet patch of her arousal adorning your right thigh. You slowly pushed the pants down, as she pulled at one nipple with her hand, the other hovering over her drenched core. She moaned as you let the fabric catch onto the start adorning your hips, causing it to rebound and smack you in the lower stomach. You leaned your frame forward, placing your arms on the side of her torso, and allowing yourself to drag your hips up, the toy running through her sopping folds. “aaaAAhhhH!” She arched into you, letting out a glass-shattering moan. 

“Good, good girl. Let Daddy hear you. I’ve waited so long…we’ve waited so long…” you moaned into her mouth rocking your hips back and forth slowly, allowing the silicone hung from your groin to lubricate against her. She clawed at your back, as you held yourself over her, watching her mewl and wiggle beneath you. “Ohhhhhh, Natasha…” you moaned at the sight of her beneath you. “You drive daddy wild, baby. This body, your moans, how wet you are for me, tell me, baby girl… my malyshka… who makes you wet like this? Hmm? Who makes you moan and wiggle beneath them like a fool, like I DO?” 

You grazed your teeth over her nipple, you’re tongue swirling over the bud, before puckering your lips and blowing a cool stream of air onto the rock-hard pebble. She pushed her chest up to your face, arching her back so deep your nose rested between her bosoms. You began nipping and biting, licking the tight skin between her breasts pulling your arms out from underneath her frame, and grasping a boob into each hand, pushing them against your face. You continued to flick the nipples as you nipped and licked every inch of her pale, muscular chest. You pulled your face away, pushing her boobs further together, and grabbing onto them pulling yourself forward as you teased her entrance with the tip of your cock. She bit her lip, nodding and moaning a yes as the tip pressed into her saturated folds. You let go of one of her boobs, lining the tip up with her dripping hole. You began to slowly push in, creeping the dildo into her sex ever so slowly, watching as her cunt swallows the toy vein by vein. You were mesmerized by the sight of her pussy swallowing you whole and she quickly grew impatient with how slow you were spreading her open.

“Unnngh…. daddyyyyyyyyy… pleaseeeee… please fuck me!” She mewled beneath you, running her hands through her hair as she bit her lip. 

“Ohhh, baby. Because you asked so nice…” you grabbed hold of her hips and rammed your hips forward HARD. You bottomed out, nestling your groin against hers as she regained her breath, her hands pawing behind your head until they found purchase at the nape of your neck. “Do you feel better, baby? Nice and full of daddy’s cock, baby?” You mocked, as she wiggled and shook her head beneath you. You quickly shifted your grip up to her boobs, grabbing hold of them before rutting your hips into hers like an animal in heat. You continued to pound your hips against hers, the wet slapping of the toy and the harness meeting her soaked, puffy lips as your hips expertly found new angles, quickly finding the spongy spot inside her that made her see white. Her grip in your hair began to get tighter, as you continued to thrust the toys full length inside her. You moaned as you watched her stomach bulge with each thrust, moving one of her hands to rest on her stomach as you continued your relentless pace on her cunt.

“m s’close, da…daddy…” she mewled beneath you.

“You are, honey- Daddy can feel it. What do good girls do, baby doll?” You asked, pushing her hand into her stomach so she could feel the toy inside her. 

“Th…they…ask to…to cum, daddy?” She asked, her eyes rolling back into her head as you let go of her breasts, grasping her hips firmly and watching the buds bounce with each thrust of your hips. 

“Thaaaaats…my….good…girl…” you let out between thrusts. “Do you feel me deep inside you? You feel me up in your stomach, baby?” You asked as she moaned, nodding her head, her thighs slowly tightening around your hips. 

“S’deep, feels s’good…” she moaned as she wiggled beneath you. 

“What do good girls do, detka?” As the Russian endearment rolled off your tongue, her eyes rolled back and her back arched. 

“Ohhhhh, Daddy! Please!! Let me cum daddy!” She moaned as she came back down to the mattress. You kept a relentless pace, feeling sweat rolling down your chest and back. You edged her, pushing her further, and further, until she began whimpering painfully from holding back. You leaned up to her ear, licking the shell, before whispering.

“Konchi dlya menya, dorogaya. Otpusti menya.” (Cum for me, darling. Let go for me.) The shaking of her form beneath you told you all you needed to know… her legs wrapping around you tightly, pushing the toy as deep as it could go inside her. She pulled you down with her arms, kissing you passionately through her orgasm, as wave after wave crashed over her. 

“Chert voz'mi, detka.” (Damn it, baby.) She whispered, winded as she let you go, running her hands through your disheveled hair, looking up at you with her blissed-out eyes. You laughed, nestling your head into her neck, collapsing over her frame as you caught your breath.

“That good, huh?” You laughed, peering out the side of your eye to her staring at the ceiling.

“Oh, god… If I had known you could speak Russian sooner, this would have happened ages ago, detka.” She laughed as you lifted off her frame, shifting the toy that was still inside her up to her stomach. “oooOOhhh m’god, too much, too much…” She pushed you away, and you leaned back, resting your weight on your heels as you slowly pulled the toy out, groaning at the sight. 

“Fuckkkkk, darling…” you moan, swiping your thumb through her sensitive folds. You stepped back, removing the strap from your hips, and pulling her by her legs towards the edge of the bed. You kneeled on the floor, flattening your tongue and licking a fat stripe up her glistening sex, causing her legs to clamp shut at the sensitivity.

“dddDDDDaaaAAAddddyyyyy!” She screamed as she laced her hands through your hair, peering down through the valley of her breasts to watch you devour her sopping wet cunt. You continued to lap, nibble, lick, and plunge your tongue inside of her, as she quickly began tightening around your muscle. You wrapped an arm around her hips, bringing your thumb to meet her clit, rubbing furiously as you continue to lap at her entrance, devouring her cum and pushing her towards another explosion. Using your other hand, you spread her dripping lips to allow yourself deeper into her puffy sex. You nestled your face inside, wiggling around like you were going to shove the entirety of your face into her waiting core. “oh GOD you’re good at that!” She moaned, you laughed and sent vibrations pulling through her, causing her to arch, sitting almost fully and grabbing onto your face, rutting her hips shamelessly against your face. You groaned at the sight of her pulling you into her, thrusting herself without any regard like she would die without an orgasm. You reach your arms around her lower back, pulling her close as you continue to devour her whole. 

“Ddd…dddaaaaadddyyy, puhhhhlease…” she panted out, struggling to catch her breath as she chased her high on your face. You hummed against her, lifting away slightly to allow yourself the freedom to speak. 

“Go ahead, baby- cum on daddy’s face, doll.” You groan, before she unabashedly pushes your face back to her core, and you continue a ruthless pace with your tongue, wiggling and nestling your face into her sex. Her hips continued to rut into your face, stuttering as she came to her climax, her abbreviated motions jostling your face as you lapped at her folds, cleaning up the cum before she pushed you away. You smirked, climbing back up her body, her essence running down your face, dripping off your chin. She moaned at the sight, swiping her cum off your chin before sucking on her thumb, hollowing her cheeks as she cleaned it off. 

“I have waited, sooo, sooo long for that, Y/N.” She whispered as you neared her, nudging her nose with yours. 

“Hmmm, me too, Natasha.” You whispered back as you looked into her glassy eyes, kissing her deeply, her moaning at the taste of herself on your tongue. The kiss continued as you poured all the years of pent-up frustration into it, and you could tell- she was putting all her emotion into the kiss, running her hands all over your sweaty, sticky frame. “Merry Christmas, doll.” You whispered as you pulled away, a smirk adorning her strung-out face.

“What happened to the big bad Grinch? You were bah-humbug earlier…” she laughed as she pulled you close, your face nestling into her sweat-covered neck. 

“You happened, you’re all I’ve ever wanted, baby. I’ve had my eye on you for a while, Tash.” You muttered against her neck.

“You’re all I have ever wanted, malysh. Merry Christmas.” She whispered as she played with the hair on the back of your neck, gently lulling you almost to sleep. You moaned as you lifted yourself begrudgingly from her frame, stalking over to your bathroom, and grabbing a washcloth to clean Natasha up for the night. “Oh darling, if you think we’re done, we’re not. Nas yest' gody, chtoby naverstat' upushchennoye, detka.” (We’ve got years to make up for, baby.)

[technicolorfamiliar]

Well, it took me a year, but I watched a billion 50+ Conrad Veidt films. Some good, some great, some so bad that I hope I never have to see them again.

This post is a stand in for the entire second half of this filmic journey -- I'll link the original 5 posts that make up the first part below. But instead of reposting all of my reviews for all of these titles (the original posts for these are on Pillowfort), I'll just share some highlights below the cut.

Part 1 // Part 2 // Part 3 // Part 4 // Part 5

Bleaker and darker than I expected, but that makes sense if it's based on a WWI memoir. What happened to Martha was legitimately awful and hard to watch. Stilted performances aside, I would have also liked a whole separate movie about the lesbian spy aunt. But Commandant Oberaertz... [redacted]. He's so hot, despite the character being absolutely awful and creepy and intimidating. I actually said "wow" out loud about his body shape in that costume. That jacket is fitted within a millimeter of its life. How many other films did Connie use this lower register in? Not many, right? It's too much, TOO MUCH. I think this movie took ten years off my life.

I Was a Spy, 1933

Dir. Victor Saville

⭐3/5

Watched Feb 18, Snowgrouse's masterpost

Connie's performance in this is more sympathetic than it has any right to be. The movie very easily could have been sensationalist garbage, and I'm so glad it was handled with relative care and humanity. I liked his whole vibe, I am not immune to party boy Rasputin's charms; "he's got the kavorca, the lure of the animal!" He looks like he stinks, which in this case may not necessarily be a bad thing. I don't even know what to make of all the cooing and baby talk he does with Alexei, or for that matter Drunk!Rasputin dancing and climbing over furniture to get at his ladies. I wish we got to see more scenes with Rasputin and the royal family, how those relationships formed and affected matters of state. We only really get to know about any of that through dialogue among other court officials. And so the emotional turn at the ending was unexpected. The way he cried out after being shot, I've never heard a sound like that come from a human being. Needless to say I did not feel great when the movie ended, but I liked it way more than I thought I would.

Rasputin, Dämon der Frauen, 1932

Dir. Adolf Trotz

⭐3/5

Watched Mar 23, Archive.org

Almost all the performances in this are pretty excellent. The stripped back, realistic style with handheld, newsreel camerawork really suits these actors and the story. Apparently this is a remake of an English film which is based on a play, and it definitely feels like a play. I'm fascinated by this little movie, it's basically an anti-war film about British soldiers in WWI produced in Germany in the early 30s… how did this even get made?? Messages about the horrors of war aside, the homoerotic undertones (overtones?) alone make this a truly unique piece of storytelling for the time and place it was filmed. And those under/overtones are treated pretty respectfully, none of these men are the butt of a joke, how they are with one another is handled with a naturalism that isn't really seen again until maybe the 1950s. And Connie. The range. Can we talk about Stanhope? He's a gruff, messy drunk, a traumatized, hollowed out husk of a man. When Osbourne says something like "you'll be alright when this is over," NO HE WOULDN'T, HE'D BE WORSE. His relationship with Raleigh is interesting too, clearly they were more than casual friends. I didn't believe for a second that the tension between Stanhope and Raleigh was about the sister/fiancée, it's weak, weak I tell you. It's one of Connie's most underrated performances.

Die andere Seite, 1931

Dir. Heinz Paul

⭐3.75/5

Watched Apr 27, Snowgrouse's masterpost

Everyone in this movie looks like a Rankin Bass stop motion character. The ending was abrupt as fuck, Werner Krauss' Jack the Ripper got a lot less screen time and I wonder if they just tacked that onto the end after they realized they spent too much time on Emil Jannings' and Connie's characters. There's a lot of fondling going on in this movie, there's the guy with the bread in the first part, then Connie going all glassy-eyed caressing his globes. Ivan the Terrible is a certified DIVA in that diaphanous, white robe, even with the hard middle part and scraggly beard. What is he doing with his tongue the whole time, though?? Love that he crashes some random girl's wedding, lets her father get murdered by assassins, kidnaps her AND her husband, and brings them both home to his sex dungeon. Connie is doing the most -- the eyes, the gestures, all the greatest hits from his silent film acting tool box, he's whipping them out for this role.

Das Wachsfigurenkabinett (Waxworks), 1924

Dir. Paul Leni, Leo Birinski

⭐2/5

Watched May 29, Archive.org

I didn't like this movie, I just wanted an excuse to post this screenshot. But it actually is a very silly little movie, with what must have been an enormous budget for costumes and sets, and it has some cute physical comedy. Sadly, Connie's in too little of the film to save it from being obnoxious. I did like the Czar's body double who just wanted to work on his needlepoint, and the Court Spanker who was clearly really into his job. And of course Metternich, that sly dog, that velvet-clad scamp. Between the all the foxy, gap-toothed grinning he does and the way he's going to town on that dialogue, he is as always a pleasure to watch. The English version is on Youtube somewhere, so I may go through that and pick out the time stamps for Connie's scenes because I don't think I could sit through this whole movie again, especially not that stupid fucking "Wien und der Wein" song, jesus christ.

Der Kongress tanzt, 1931

Dir. Erik Charell

⭐2/5

Watched Jun 23, Snowgrouse's masterpost

Apparently this movie was considered a flop, and Connie wasn't super happy with this role and others around this time. I think I must have had that info in the back of my mind somewhere going into this movie, because my expectations were pretty low. So, as usual, I actually wound up liking it more than I thought I would. It's a lot sillier than it has any right to be, but yeah it's ultimately a piece of fluff compared to some of the other heavy-hitting films on this list. I love when Connie has a comedic foil like the Marius character, but it could have been a lot better if the dialogue was snappier and the timing tighter. And Connie's character promises to be this bad bitch at the top of the movie, but all we get is one quick, poorly choreographed sword fight and a whole bunch of nothing after that. There's all this build up, I mean, the character is nicknamed The Black Death, and the movie never really lets the character live up to the name. It's a missed opportunity for sure. That said, the Puffy Shirt with the open collar "ensconced in velvet" (to risk yet more Seinfeld references), jaunty hat, knee-high boots with spurs look is really doing it for me. And THERE ARE PUPPIES. Perhaps the most delightful thing that has ever happened in cinematic history. I couldn’t believe it. Connie picked up the first puppy and said, "You big boy, you!" and I hate him, like full Madeline Kahn Mrs. White "flames… on the side of my face." I hate him so much.

Under the Red Robe, 1937

Dir. Victor Seastrom

⭐2.5/5

Watched Jul 17, Youtube

[justatalkingface]

I have to say, I've always been a fan of the idea of Kirishima being Izuku's best friend, rather than Bakugo's. I just think the two work off each other as the "extrovert trying to get his introverted friend to come out of his shell more" better than his and Bakugo's "I can fix him" one.

Plus, both have experience dealing with bullies and trying to defend the helpless from said bullies. Hell, Kirishima would commend Izuku for sticking it out all the way through, whereas he needed Mina's help with his. I really think Kirishima would be a great motivator for Izuku to get stronger and to voice his opinions more. If Izuku was having an especially bad day, I see Kirishima being the type to say,

"Hey man, don't put yourself down like that. You're one of the strongest, manliest guys I know. Even up there with All Might and Crimson Riot. Come on, lets head to the gym to get your mind off things. I'll spot ya."

Kirishima would provide so much positivity and motivation to improve, that I feel Izuku would only come out better with him as his main homie. Not to mention it would give Kirishima even more screentime, which I would love.

Though admittedly, my love of Kirishima is also why I hate that Hori paired him with Bakugo. My man deserves a better homie than that asshat.

...You know, when you look at Kirishima as, like, a character that someone put in a story, rather than as a person, there's something weird about him. You know what it is? Kirishima is basiclly Izuku. He's Izuku if he had a 'mediocre' Quirk; a bit of a coward at the start of his story, with self doubt, but he still genuinely wants to help people, and forces himself to grow and push farther when he decides to apply to UA. And when you strip to the bare bone themes like that, it's Izuku's story, without Bakugou and the Quirklessness there making his life miserable.

And, with that in mind, and that one comment Hori (apparently) made, that Izuku was supposed to be sad that Bakugou took Kirishima's hand... it feels like Kirishima was made, or at least given development, for Bakugou. Like, Kirishima and Bakugou is the friend dynamic of Bakugou with Izuku that so many people want them to have, what fanfic stories are written for, what people in story apparently (god knows why) seem to think they have, and when you look it that way it's... interesting. It's a very interesting choice to me.

Like, Hori apparently (I can't cite any of this Hori shit) regrets how far Bakugou went in the first chapter; it makes me wonder if, like, Kirishima is his wish fulfillment in that sense? Like, he's imagining a version of the manga where Bakugou came in with a lot less baggage, and that dynamic is him doing that sort of friendship without actually changing the story?

On the other hand, though, I'd have to be blind to that dynamic seems to exist to soften up Bakugou's image, to show that he's not all that bad, without really making him improve actively.

Regardless, no matter how you look at it, in a meta, 'why does this character exist' kind of way, Kirishima literally seems to be in the manga only for Bakugou's sake. I mean, his friendship (or 'friendship' maybe) with Bakugou, isn't helping him beyond giving him more screen time. And your right, it's a shame, because he and Izuku would get along really well.

Part of it, of course, is that they exist in a similar kind of positive wavelength, both being really wholesome people. Kirishima is really outgoing, and it seems natural that he would try to reach out to Izuku, who canonly is almost pathetically grateful for even the tiniest smidge of even vaguely positive interactions, especially at the start, much less someone just flat out being nice to him. Meanwhile, Izuku is naturally supportive, and would be great for Kirishima in turn, supporting him on his low confidence moments and encouraging him to be more confident about his Quirk and his own abilities.

Overall, it's a firm foundation for a good, wholesome friendship, one that would easily continue to continue on even when both of them eventually grow past their own doubts, and something that'd be nice to see, but by the time Kirishima got any characterization, he was already set up for Bakugou, and of course we could dilute that dynamic with him doing something else.

[rinsuniverse]

hi! I've been reading your drabbles and they are so comforting and well-written 🥺 If you're up to it, can we get woozi with a short 4'11 curvy girl s/o and how he would be whenever they get conscious of how they look? 🤍

woozi with a short & curvy partner! ✧˖°.

tbh with you, i feel like your physical appearance wouldn't matter too much to woozi if he's dating you!

he would love you for you, and definitely would fall for someone with a nice, bright personality

if you're shorter than him, though, he will tease you!

if you're standing in front of him, he'll reach over and pat your head as if you're his pet

"yah, did you just pat my head?"

"yeah, because you're tiny," he says, smirking at you. he shows you his pointer finger and his thumb pinched closely together. "you're like this small."

he would love you so much more if you're smaller than him, though (not that he wouldn't love someone bigger than him!)

he'd feel the need to protect you

and if you're curvy, oh lord have mercy

if you're kissing him, his hands will slide down your waist to your hips

he'd always hold you and guide you with his hand on the small of your back or your side/hip

i cannot stress how many times his hands will be on your hips

pulling you closer by your belt loops or your love handles

ANYWAY

here's an imagine of you feeling insecure of how you look

(btw anon, i'm just like you! i'm barely 5ft and i'm very curvy. i feel insecure about how i look a lot. but if it makes you feel any better, i think you're absolutely beautiful! being small and curvy is very attractive, and i'm sure it's the case with you, too! so if you feel bad, feel free to read my comforting posts or pm me and we can talk!)

you're standing in front of a long mirror in your room

you're only wearing some short shorts and your bra, and you're moving yourself so you can see how you look in different angles

and you're sighing to yourself, not satisfied with how you look

"are you out of breath or are you sighing a lot over there?" jihoon asks, his eyes glued to his phone screen as he lays in your bed

"it's nothing"

"mmm, doesn't sound like it, but okay."

"i just don't like how i look"

"why?" he asks, glancing away from his phone to look at you

"i'm not... skinny. and i'm kind of small," you say, stepping onto your tippy toes

he chuckles, putting his phone down and joining you in the reflection of the mirror

he looks at himself for a moment, then looks at you in the reflection

"what about it?" he asks, taking his hand to ghost the sides of your arm

"i wish i was skinny, like the female idols you work with sometimes," you mutter, kind of conscious of how insecure you sound. "don't worry about it, though."

he pouts his lips as he stands slightly behind you

he steps on his tip toes and puts his chin on the top of your head, which makes you scoff

"you're not helping, jihoon," you chuckle

he puts his hands on your hips and pulls you so your body is against his

"i like you this way," he says softly.

he traces lines from the sides of your waist down to the sides of your hips

"should i change? maybe workout?" you ask, sucking in

he sighs, "if you want. i can help you if you want. but i think you look perfectly fine the way you are now."

"really?"

he rests his chin on your shoulder and smiles at your reflection in the mirror

he moves and leaves kisses down your neck and your shoulder

you chuckle softly. "you like me even if i'm curvy and short?"

"of course," he says, kind of surprised you're even asking. "you're the perfect size for me."

"you're just saying that."

"mhm, believe what you want to believe."

he snakes his arms around your waist before softly saying,

"love you. just how you are."

"should i stay like this, then?"

"if you want."

"but what do you want?"

"for you to love yourself the way i love you. just as you are."

you watch him cringe from his own words, and he hides his face in the crook of your neck.

"thank you, ji."

he hums, before pulling you back to bed with him.

thank you so much for requesting, anon! i hope you loved reading this. feel free to request many, many more things. i'm so sorry it took so long, by the way! ✧( ु•⌄• )◞◟( •⌄• ू )✧

(p.s. requests are still open! i specialize in woozi stuff, but i don't mind writing about other svt members! i can also do some nsfw if you want! so request whatever and as much as you want! ς(>‿<.))

[gothicprep]

i wasn't going to watch or review madame web at all, because i love myself and value my sanity. but here we are. i'm going to review the superhero movie that doesn't have any superheroes in it – we'll get to that.

i don't really know where to begin with this review, so i'm going to start with attempting to explain what madame web's powers actually are.

ok. so. her mom is in the amazon looking for a spider. then a guy who also wants that spider steals the spider, kills the people who are working with her mom, and shoots her mom. this is while she's pregnant in the 1970s. then her mom is kidnapped? rescued? taken? by some guys who come down from the trees in the amazon. and they're dressed in... i don't even know if they're supposed to be costumes or native garb. but they're wearing spider loincloths that are supposed to remind you of the spider man costume. and they take her to a glow-y cave. well then she dies anyway. but. i guess 30 years later there's a daughter, somehow or another.

so, this daughter gets into a vehicle accident because she's an ambulance driver and responding to a call. and she goes into a place, i guess, in her mind, where she sees some things we're going to see later in the movie. these include a blue balloon, a big red "s" (WE'LL GET TO THAT), and also some glow-y lines that come from of her in a web-like thing. and i think that's what her power is. to be in that place and to see images that might come from the future.

now then, later, she sees scenes which are about to happen before they happen, and it rewinds like a record skip. so she can change it because she knows something is about to happen. and then at the end she goes back to the glow-y cave where there's just a guy. he's not in the loincloth anymore. and he just says "i've been waiting for you". I GUESS FOR 30 YEARS?? JUST BY THE GLOW-Y CAVE? like he's the knight in the last crusade. he's just hanging out there in his linen, white shirt and he tells her something important. i wish i wrote this down. it's something like "if you connect with the web, you will find that you will have greater powers than you know, like being in many places at once."

at the very end of the movie, the bad guy is attacking all of her little lady spider girlfriends who are going to be superheroes, but never become superheroes. and glow-y things come out of her and they get saved.

you probably have a lot of questions, and that makes two of us. so what i'm trying to describe here is how when the knight in the cave who's been sitting there for 30 years says the thing about connecting with the web and being in many places at once, i assumed this was a metaphor. like she would be able to see so many steps in advance that she'd be able to pull off a tony hawk skating move and save them all in one flowing motion and that's what her power is. but no. it's literally like "you'll be able to be in all places at once" and then she astral projects out of her body and does all of the things at the same time. and i thought, that's even dumber than the thing i was imagining. somehow.

so, how does she get from the cave to being an ambulance driver in queens? well, she grows up in the foster care system. i assume the clan of spider people put her in a little basket and sent her up the amazon, and the US embassy picked her up and flew her back to new york city. then she goes into the foster system. they fill out a lot of paperwork, they work with foster parents – just kidding. this is all off screen and never referenced.

the other issue with this movie is that i have no idea what the villain's deal is. i don't remember whether he was hired as security detail for the trip to the amazon or if he was a philanthropist and this was all a ruse to get the spider. it doesn't matter. either way, he gets the magic spider and goes back to nyc. and after allowing the spider to bite him, he becomes a billionaire somehow. and he can poison people by touching them. he seduces and poisons a woman who works for the NSA.

i guess i should clarify that this isn't a midas curse. he poisons people when he wants to poison them. anyway.

so he seduces the NSA woman at the opera and says "i'm going to keep poisoning you unless you give me access to the NSA's facial recognition technology". remember that this movie takes place in 2003.

i haven't talked about the three spider women, who were in all the advertising campaigns, dressed as spider women. you've got sydney sweeney and two other actresses. i don't know their names. in the ads for this, these ladies are all in their spider outfits and they're doing spider woman things. they are never in those costumes, except for a 15 second flash-forward at the beginning of the film. the reason the guy who got bit by the spider and is now a billionaire because of that needs the NSA's face tracking technology is that he is having visions of these three spider women killing him. this is what we see in the flash-forward. so what he does is, from memory, from his visions, draws their faces. then he perfectly de-ages the drawings from the memories of his visions by 10 years. then he feeds those faces into the NSA's system, and the program says "yes! i know exactly who these people are! your drawing that you de-aged was so spot on that we could do it instantly!" this actually happens in the movie!!

truly the most amazing thing that i need to note here is it doesn't make any sense. and this is especially amazing because they clearly re dubbed every single one of his lines. i think, possibly, 100% of the words that the villain says, you can tell it was reworked in post. so most of the shots of this character are from behind his head.

if you've ever turned on a random netflix show, realize, "oh wait, this was originally recorded in spanish and they've dubbed it". and it looks pretty good, but after a minute or two, you think it's really off. the voices don't match the person's face. all of his dialogue is like this.

they rewrote everything in post and it still makes this little sense. it's very clear that, at some point, they were editing the movie and it was somehow worse than it is now. and they were like "none of this makes any sense. we have to do reshoots." dakota johnson says "get bent. i'm not doing any reshoots on this piece of crap." sydney sweeney says "i have 'anyone but you' to promote, which is going to out-gross the spider man movie i was in somehow." i'll talk about spider man in a sec.

but anyway, all of the villains lines are dubbed, and there are a lot of funny shots of him talking and you don't even see the back of his head. you just see who he's talking to making concerned faces. like zosia mamet plays a hacker or something in this, and there are several sequences where the camera is on her for 10+ seconds and she's nodding and going "uh huh" while the villain is talking, and talking, and talking. they may have put her on a loop. this very well could have been a gif of her sitting and nodding. uh huh uh huh uh huh.

there also aren't any jokes in this movie about "the web", meaning the internet. seems like a real missed opportunity for something that takes place in the early aughts. there are a lot of random references to 2003 pop culture. and she's saved by pepsi. i told you we were going to get to it.

let me try to explain this in a way that is clear. it isn't going to make sense, but if you've gotten this far, you've managed your expectations. throughout the movie, one thing that you see is that the characters are constantly drinking pepsis. just absolutely shoving it in the camera as they drink it. all of the little spider girlfriends crush it, her paramedic guy pal who is maybe related to one of the spider men loves himself some pepsi. he's playing ben parker, but it's unclear which version of spider-man that he's the ben parker to. yet again, none of this matters. we're talking about pepsi.

but let's go back to that initial moment where she discovers her powers in the crash. like i said, thousands of words ago, she sees things that happen later in the movie. she sees a blue balloon and then she goes to a baby shower. foreshadowing! screenwriting! yay! i got it! she also sees a glowing red "s" falling through the psychic ether of her inexplicable glow-y web powers. and then at the end of the movie, the big battle happens on top of a giant, neon pepsi-cola sign. and when it all explodes at the end, she and parts of the sign fall into the hudson. guess what's with her. it's the "s" from the pepsi-cola sign.

and, branching out a bit here, but spider-man is not in this movie. he's only referenced in the sense that madame web has a coworker named ben parker, and he has to drive mary parker to the hospital because she's in labor and about to give birth to the son whose name we ~mysteriously~ don't hear. here's the problem with the misconceived live action sony spider-man universe... you have the first venom movie, which i don't think anyone expected to gross $800mil worldwide, but here we are. you have morbius, which was an enormous bomb. then you have this movie, which is an even bigger bomb. they've made four of these movies with three different central characters, all of whom only make sense in their relationship to spider-man. madame web exists because they needed a way to explain the concept of spider men across the multiverse. morbius is, like, a doctor who is spider-man's nemesis. venom only exists because an alien thing got attached to spider-man, got mad at spider-man, attached itself to one of spider-man's enemies and became a super spider-man enemy. these characters only exist because of spider-man. they only make sense because of spider-man. spider-man has appeared ZERO TIMES in any of these movies. they're gonna make an r-rated kraven the hunter movie that i'd bet spider man doesn't show up once in.

this whole misbegotten series is sony saying "we're going to make an expanded spider-man universe, but here's the gag – we're never going to mention spider-man." and they're all wondering why it's not working!! I'VE GOT A THEORY!

anyway, that's the madame web review. i know this is less of a review and more of a description with an editorial slant, but i need to work with what i'm given.

[vacayisland]

Hiii! Not a request but a question, I hope that's alright!

Seeing your writing has made me pretty inspired and I've been wanting to do trolls fics of my own! I've been struggling a lot w some characters, though, especially Floyd

My question is how you figure out their personalities and way of speaking enough to write for them? Unlike the others, we don't really see much of Floyd outside of his brothers TwT so I'm just not sure how to get his character right, but I feel like you do him justice! Feel free not to answer btw!! Hope you're doing well ♡♡

I actually really love answering questions like that, or generally any writing-based question; as long as I help people get inspired to write or help them in their creative journey, that’s what I am here for after all!

So, personally, my way of writing tends to be a little different than other people’s (at least I think it is) but my way of researching characters tends to be the same. So I’m going to try and do some sort of justice of explaining this! Bear with me please and if you have any other questions just ask me.

With characters like Floyd, I tend to find him easier to do. Both because I focused a lot on him during the movie and when it first released, and because he has such little screen time. Of course that’s both a blessing and a curse, because not many will realize that Floyd has a slightly sarcastic way of humor (or at least I didn’t the first few times watching the movie).

Yet with any character you would want to research on them! And that’s a little easier written than done but this is what I did for JD (who was harder for me to grasp on):

When I first saw the movie, I thought JD was what he was first presented as. A rude bastard who didn’t know when his family was upset and pushed them to do things anyways. And while he’s a little bit of that he’s actually a lot more.

Unlike Floyd, JD gets a bunch of screen time that writers should take advantage of! If the background, if you watch JD, you can see the little things that make him not fully a jerk. Such as the upset look he gets whenever a brother goes to Branch first instead of him, and yet how he tries to act like it didn’t bother him. Showing no matter how much of a hard ass he was he does actually are about his brothers in his own weird way.

I also looked upon different sites and saw what they described his personality as. Then I watched the movie, picked what I thought to be true, and honestly that’s what I go on. It’s kind of always changing because no matter how ‘cannon’ you’re trying to write a character there should always be a little self influence of you in them.

Not saying to completely derail a character and make them not cannon, but have fun with it. Take aspects of their character as you wish and just keep practicing and rewriting lines until you feel like it’s correct.

But JD is always harder for me to do, so that’s why I want to do him more. The more practice the better.

For characters like Floyd, who have minimum screen time, I find easier because they don’t have a stricter personality box. From what we see in the movie, what I’ve gathered from websites and other writers (reader other people’s work! They might actually inspire how you write a character a lot), Floyd is sensitive yet witty. He’s smart and caring.

That’s our base line, four traits that are easy to write because they don’t have much to them. THEYRE just traits! Then we can take a few of Floyd’s voice lines to base how can mimic speaking like him; And he speaks a little like Branch but a little on the nicer tone to people he actually cares about.

I don’t know if that makes sense or if it actually helps at all, but it’s a weird process. It’s all about how do you make yourself most comfortable playing and writing the character. Do we much research as you need, take your time! There’s no rush to publish fan fictions, there’s no rush to do anything.

Remember to post only what you’re proud of and what you enjoy. Writing is a process that gets slightly easier the more you practice it, and sometimes it gets harder. But just enjoy it along the way and write only when it feels right. :)

But happy writing and please tag me in any post you publish! I’ll love to read your work.

[odd-drive]

what was your first computer?

Oh I love this question - thank you for asking!! I hope that I see more questions like this around our beautiful old-techie tumblr corner!! Just for reference - I'm 24 so my computers aren't too "vintage!"

The first computer I remember looks a little like this one: I remember the huge chunky monitor and the way the button pushed in on it, and the stackable IBM pc underneath. I remember the speakers' feel and how they were always just a little dusty. And y'all KNOW I was taking out that mouse ball and gently touching and playing with it!

In fact, just another aside - sitting at this computer and playing a Blue's Clues game was my very first memory. I must have been 3 or 4.

The next guy shown is what looks like the tower of my first pc - one that my dad built for me on the dining room table (which might be one of my biggest regrets - to not have had him teach and show me what he was doing at the time!). It got put into my room at the age of... 10-12? Pretty young! And boy, did I see many things on the Internet I shouldn't have lol.

Sorry I don't have too much more information about these!

The next guy shown is the Lenovo g780 and it was my first laptop! I got it in the 8th grade. It was a weird brown color and it never left my bedroom, or my lap for that matter lol. It was the machine that I started obsessively using tumblr on as well!! It was almost 18 inches, so it was hard to lug around lol. I got to help revive it a couple times - replacing the fan and the screen at one point or another.

Just for funzies! This is my current battlestation: the Dell G15. I personally think that Dell is super underrated in the computer market - they're known more for officeware of course, but they own Alienware! My laptop has the same hardware as the newest gaming rigs (Don't wanna brag, but I've got a G3800! in this baby!) and it wasn't nearly as expensive thankfully. I use it to program and play lots of games on the daily (although I've been using my PS5 a lot lately!!). I haven't seen seen a game that runs poorly on it... yet.

And also!! Under my desk currently lies a 2002 iMac G4 - known colloquially as the Sunflower computer! It's my BFF's childhood computer - she and her family lovingly gave it to me to revive! It's one of those many ongoing projects in my life that I wish I had more time for... I need to replace the hard drive and give it a super full cleanout. The neck on the monitor is also broken and could use a repair. One interesting thing about this computer is that Apple was getting real creative with their designs around this time (which... I wish desktop design was still super innovative :'( ) and the hardware is all jammed in this weird semi-globe container? So it's unlike any other computer interior and... how exciting is that to dig around in and restore?!

Thank you to anyone that's read through all of this!

[nyxocity]

Hi Nyx,

I just wanted to write a quick message letting you know how much I adore seeing you here. I've been a fan of Supernatural for a long time, but it's only been in the past couple of years that I've really read SPN fanfiction or engaged with the fandom in any conceivable way, and it's something I wish I'd done a lot sooner. There are so many amazing recommendations for fics on LiveJournal that just aren't around anymore, and unfortunately, the Wayback Machine only captures a very small fraction of them (although shoutout to people who were saving webpages back in 2008!!!). That's part of the reason why I'm so grateful to see you around. As lovely as it is watching new people build their own castles in the sandbox of a piece of media I love, there's something so incredibly warm and cozy and joyful about seeing a familiar username pop up on A03 or Tumblr. It's kind of like coming home, if you know what I mean :) Fandom (any fandom, really, but SPN is near the top of that list) can be exhausting and disheartening and toxic, just as much as it can be exhilarating and uplifting and transformative, and while I'm sure that as someone who's been in this space for a long time, you've most definitely encountered an unreasonable amount of the former, I'm ridiculously glad you're still writing. Because to me, you are a part of what makes the SPN fandom such a wonderful place to be in :)

Oh, and besides that, have I mentioned how much I love your writing? Because I love, love, LOVE it. All your fics are so diverse, I have no idea how you come up with the plot sometimes (especially the current one, UGH I'm dying just thinking about it!!). But no matter how complicated or simple the story, there's something so heartfelt and tender in each one, with beautiful angst and the kind of witty humour that makes me want to reach for a pen and take physical notes—not that I end up doing that because then the hot sexiness comes in and I lose all coherent thought ｡^‿^｡ Speaking of which, your characterization of Dean and Sam is EXACTLY how I see them, too (including Top Dean/Jensen which is absolutely delicious and I so wish there was more of that in the fandom) and ohmygod I don't know whether to love you or hate you for making me read RPF, the one thing I thought I'd never be okay with, but how can I resist when your stories are so enticing?????

(Oh, and speaking of RPF, I also love your characterization of Chad whenever you incorporate him in your stories. Every time I see him on screen I know it's going to be a good time :) It's kind of funny because I know virtually nothing about the actor in real life outside of his character from One Tree Hill, but from my limited knowledge it seems to me that a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away, all the authors in the CW RPF fandom got together and unanimously decided to make him a secretly smart but also complete buffoon-headed slut (in the best way) and I just have to know how that all started. Do you have any insight?)

Okay, this message is getting seriously long and cheesy, so I'm going to wrap it up now before I start proposing (although if you're willing to join me in the land of maple syrup and hockey, I will happily get down on one knee with a ring pop), but I just really wanted to let you know how much your work means me to me and how much of an inspiration it's been. I hope to one day be capable of writing fanfic as incredible as you can, and that the depth of my love for the things I enjoy will shine through my writing in the same way yours does.

Thank you so much for always putting a smile on my face (or making me cry because the angst is just that good) and I wish you all the best in life, the universe, and everything ♡♡♡

Love,

IllusionalOptics

Oh my gosh this is so much love! Wow, thank you so much for this, you made my whole week!

Honestly, I can't believe I'm still here in SPN fandom. Back in the LJ days, usually when a show ended the fandom died shortly thereafter. And a show that went on as long as SPN did means a lot of people moved on to other fandoms anyway. So I'm thrilled to still be here, playing in this sandbox. No way I would have called that back in 2007 when I first fell into this fandom. And yes, I've seen a lot of vitriol over the years, some of it slung directly at me, though not in a long time. I'm here to have fun and enjoy fandom and I refuse to let anyone drive me away from it. No one gets to take away my joy.

I'm so honored and humbled that people are still finding and reading my stories to this day--especially newer fans! Thank you so much for your lovely, amazing, wonderful comments about my writing! It's funny because I usually start out with a simple idea for the plot and then it just becomes so incredibly complex and complicated lol For Retroactive, my current story, I knew the plot was going to be exceptionally complicated, and I don't know why my brain does this to me. It's like, hey you've written so many things, this time, let's make it EXTRA DIFFICULT! This story is by far the hardest one I've done yet. And I feel like I say that every time I write a new one, unless it's just a romance piece.

So happy that my Sam and Dean match your interpretation. Everyone (not just writers) kinda has their way of seeing the characters. I try to to stay true as I can to canon characterization, but there's always my personal filter on it that I can't separate out. So it makes me happy that it matches yours!

Hahaha. Okay, so you should probably love me for making you read RPF because some of it is just ASTOUNDINGLY good as they tend to be original stories with the actors playing the parts. But real talk, RPF was a big NO for me in the beginning, too--hell, Wincest was gigantic NO for me in the beginning lol, but I tried to draw a line at RPF. And after I wrote Like Staring Into the Sun I was in a chat with two friends who basically decided I was going to write this RPF story about a teacher Jensen and a student Jared. I resisted for like an hour or more. And eventually they convinced me. But Then My Homework Was Never Quite Like This was my first RPF fic. And I was just finally like, welp, I'm already shipping Wincest so here we go I guess lol So yeah, I hear you. I live my life mostly line free these days though. SPN fandom will do that to you.

Oh my god I love writing Chad. He's a bit different in every story I do but he retains some core characteristics. Ooooh, I get to impart some fandom elder knowledge lol So, back when I wrote the original Homework verse story, there was this tendency in fics to make Chad kinda dumb and/or gross and/or a dick. Often, he was a douchebag. He was funny, but a lot of times not in a GOOD way, I guess? So when I wrote the first Homework story (2008), I decided I wanted to make him smart, but in like, the most ridiculous roundabout way, so he'd still be funny. I can't say I started it, but I was definitely way ahead on the trend for smart Chad. Back in the day there was a lot of talk about him IRL being kind of a dick, a sleazebag and sleeping around, and though I don't remember if there was confirmation, a lot of people talked about him cheating on Sophia being the reason their marriage ended. I can't confirm any of that but I remember it was the talk at the time. So a lot of people took pieces from these things and ran with them and the fic version of Chad was created as kind of a dick and a douchebag and usually Jared's best friend (because of them living together IRL for a while) and the comic relief. It seems to have morphed some over time, which is good, because RL Chad seems to have grown up and to be a good person at this point in his life.

I wanted to talk about top Jensen and Top Dean, too, but this is getting so long lol Just know that back in 2008, 90% of fic was Top Jared and Top Sam, and my understanding is that that's now shifted and rebalanced the other way, to like 90% Top Jensen and Dean now. Although maybe it has shifted again in the last five years to be more balanced, Idk. I don't read fic like I used to.

Anyway, seriously, thank you SO SO SO SO MUCH for this. It means so much to me that you took the time to write all this out to me. Thank you for telling me all these things and for sending me so much love! Sending love right back at you! And feel free to ask me anything, any time! <3<3<3