#i've started to hate being touched as well which makes me really sad

[cvnt4him]

sassy deku >>> (big ass forehead)

YK YOU WRONG FOR TALKING AB MY MAN LIKE THAT HES GORGEOUS HIS FOREHEAD IS PERFECT THE WAY IT IS.

N YKW? IM AB TO MAKE A FULL THING TOO. CAN WE TALK AB THE HEAD THING THO??? LIKE HUH LIKE THAT PARAGRAPH IS MIND BLOWING.

...........................................

Getting an attitude w sassy men

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M. izuku.

You and izuku never really get into fights so when you randomly got an attitude w him you better believe he got pissed. He's so sweet and nice to you under all circumstances whatsoever, he doesn't want to disrespect you at all but God lately you've just been getting on his nerves. The way you bitch around and yell at him like he exploded the sun.

"are you fucking kidding me izuku? Like are you genuinely insane. I just cannot with you."

You scoff and yell at him with an angry tone.

He rolls his eyes and ignores you, you've really just been so annoying. Like God why can't you simply shut up and suck his cock. Like he's been through so much in his life and this so what he gets in return?

"yeah okay bitch."

"excuse me?!"

"you fucking heard me, you've literally been bitching all day over some shit I had nothing to do with like I just can't. I've saved all of Japan and instead of getting a loving girlfriend to cook and clean for me you're sitting here being a whiney little bitch."

He spat venom with every word that left his beautifully pink tinted lips, his eyes squinted at you with spite. The way he spoke stunned you, you were frozen in shock. You're sweet loving boyfriend who'd never raise his voice at you or even attempt to hurt your feelings,

Tears welled in your eyes as you were blinded by the forming tears, blinking heavily trying to bat away the tears that were starting to become present. Izuku never got angry or even attempted to fight with you, he hated the guilty feeling he'd always feel and not djd you make him feel it.

You made him sleep on the couch for a couple of nights, the main reason he actually stayed on the couch was because he felt he deserved it after what he'd said and how hed spoken to you. Izukus kother would be so disappointed in him. The words that left his mouth were misogynistic and ugly, he wasn't that kind of person, but for some reason you brought out the bad in him.

There was also the good. You knew how to make him laugh, smile, feel oh so good. So why had he been so mean to you lately. He wished he knew.

Izuku came knocking on your shared room door waiting for you to say something, anything. It'd been so long since he'd heard your voice, since you'd spoken to him directly.

"come in."

A soft voice was heard through the wooden door as he practically pushed the door down trying to hurriedly open it to get to you. He gulped out of fear, afraid of what you'd say to him, how you'd feel if you looked at him. He hated himself for what he said, and he wanted to apologize.

You looked at him with sad eyes, you were under the cover hiding your face at first. It felt so good to see your beautiful face after so long. He sighed at your gorgeous features, your lips in a pouty frown and your hair a mess. You looked good no matter what.

"my pretty girl..."

He whispered to you, rushing to your side. He instantly wrapped his arms around your figure as you did the same, he moved the cover on top of the both of you and cuddled you. He buried his face in your neck planting little fast kisses everywhere.

"I'm so sorry.. you've just been so.. difficult lately."

He says into your ear. he feels you tense under his touch before moving back to look at him with a disgusted look. He gave you a confused one, why had you looked like this? He was apologizing!

"are you fucking kidding?"

"wha--"

"I'M being difficult??? If I'm SOO difficult just fucking leave."

Here we go again. He sighed heavily getting rather impatient which izuku was nothing but. You were angering him once again because you're bitching and nagging before he can even get a word out, per usge.

"my god you're such a spoiled little bitch. you never let me speak, always making things about yourself. I came fucking apologize but if you're going to be a fucking cunt I might as well fuck yours."

"are you fucking kidding me izuku?! you-- wait what."

Anyways he bent you over and yanked your underwear and pants off in one go didn't even bother prepping or anything just shoved his semi hard cock inside of you and thrusted into you at an insane pace.

Moral of this story is he didn't stop fucking you until you were a sloppy cum filled mess.

...........................................

I. tenya.

Tenya was so full of your shit. You've gotten in trouble in class, kept blowing him off, and then proceeded to ignore his texts.

He was so fed up with you. He needed to talk to you and you were going to hear him out not just as the class president but as your boyfriend.

"what do you want tenya."

"for you to stop acting like a cunt."

"i--- wha-"

"I'm so tired of your shit y/n you've been acting like a cold hearted ice queen towards me all day. I want to be with you but I can't stand being in the same room with someone who doesn't care about me."

"I never said i---"

"yet you're acting like I'm some minor pleb. Y/n I love you more than anything and yet you're standing here treating me like a insignificance to your presence."

He says putting his hands on his hips. God he looked so sassy like that it was actually kind of hot. He saw how a smirk appeared into your face as you looked him up and down and he tensed under your eyesight.

"yeah you're right tenya I've been kind of a dick all day hm, baby? Let me make it up to you yeah?"

You say batting your eyelashes at him walking towards him and rubbing your hands up and down his chest, burying your face in his neck and whispering and fanning your breath over it. He shivered and put his hands on your waist pulling you closer into his chest, he lifted your head closer to his, your lips so close to touching.

He pushed you down on the bed and dusted himself off.

"you've got to do a better job than that if you want me to forgive you.

Fuck, the smirk he gave you while walking out of his room was diabolical. God how did you end up with a sexy boyfriend like this. Yet he's such a pain in the ass too.

...........................................

M. neito.

Monoma was an ass sometimes, sure. A sassy diva, yeah, but he was never rude to you. He never made you feel like you were less than perfect, he always gave you what he felt you deserved and always made sure you knew how much you meant to him. He never let his feud with your class fuck with him. Until now.

He's been letting everything your class does get to him, and since you're in class 1A he's been getting rather pissed with you. The way he blew you off and pushed you aside like some petty diva was about your last straw.

You walked all the way to class 1B dorm house and bust through the doors in a fit of rage. You were not going to let anyone stop you from fucking up his world.

The way all of his classmates looked at you like you were crazy, some laughing others just genuinely confused why someone from class 1A was here to begin with.

"where the hell is he."

You say yelling to his classmates as they all pointed to up the stairs where the dorms were. You've been there before, not while everyone was awake. But you've been there before. You knew exactly where his dorm was located.

You stormed up the stairs and quickly made your way to his dorm. Upon arriving you bust down his door with your foot, he screams and hides under his work desk for cover. Once he seen it was you he scoffed and was ready to tell at you before being stopped before anything could even leave his lips.

"are you fucking kidding me?? You've been a dick to me all week for what? Because my class is higher than yours?? get over it. At the end of the day you're in hero courses you'll live. Stop treating me like a nuisance because of some sick twisted vendetta you have with my class!"

He scoffed, getting up from his hiding place with a hand to his chest in an offended manner. There was no way you seriously just spoke to him like this?? Where has this side of you come from?? You've always been so sweet and obedient with him!

He was speechless, not a word left his opened mouth. How could you speak to him like some loser. Like those dorks in your class!!

"nothing to say?"

You ask with your hands on your hips. He was sassy, but you knew how to play sassy as well. He crossed his arms and looked away from you. Not daring to utter a word. You kind of liked this side of him, the side that didn't talk back to you. It suited him. A pretty face with such pretty lips need to be shut sometimes. He looks better when he sits there and looks pretty.

You smirk and push him down onto his bed, he lets out a sound as you crawl on top of his lap and put both of your hands on his chest.

"my pretty boy.~"

He was a flushed mess, he opened and closed his mouth like a goldfish, he was stunned that you'd just done this to him. He was always the one to take the lead and initiate things!! He hated how much he didn't mind you being on top.

...........................................

B. katsuki.

Katsuki Bakugou, the world's sassiest man. The way he walks with a sway to his hips, the way he stands, the way he just exists unapologetically is enviable to all. Some envied his tiny snatched waist while others envied the fire behind his eyes. He loved being a hero but he loved his girlfriend more.

He loved you so much, so dearly he had no problem with admitting it either. However he hated, absolutely despised when you caught an attitude with him like he doesn't treat you like a queen.

He was absolutely appalled when you started bitching and yelling at him, waving your arms about and threatening to slap the fuck out of him. He scoffed with wide eyes and a smile like he was daring you to. He wasn't afraid to hit you back by all means, however he loved you too much to bring you into harms way in any kind. So he wouldn't actually hit you but throwing you against things, oh yeah that was an option.

"like honestly katsuki could you be more stupid?"

"bitch? Me, stupid? Hah! You're hilarious! Actually, you deserve an award for your humor honestly, how do you do it."

He jokes slapping his knee with an angry smile still plastered on his beautiful face. God you hated how he had such an effect on you despite how furious you were with him. He knew the huge effect he had on and used it to his advantage.

He smirked and pulled you by your waist mid sentence, you were yelling at him and your fiery words were instantly cut off by the way he looked at you, the way he touched you, the way he moved slightly closer to you face his breath fanning over your face. He peered down at you with those volcanic ruby red eyes of his, daring you to do something anything. He wanted it.

"fucking asshole."

"I could fuck yours if you'd like, yeah?"

God you hated how much you loved him. He was an asshole, but he was yours. He never took you seriously when the two of you argued or when you got an attitude with him. You knew this and it angered you, but you could never stay angry with him because he'd always fuck it out of you like he hated you.

He pulled you into a passionate kiss still having that shit eating smirk on his face once he pulled away holding his forehead to yours as he chuckled lowly.

"you hate me."

"so fucking much."

You say pulling him into a heated kiss, walking backward towards his bed so he could fuck you like a slut.

...........................................

AN: chat this was the worst thing I've ever made, I don't think I made them sassy at all, except katsuki anything he does is sassy. however I low-key love how mean I made izuku, I js feel like after his vigilante arc and the war he's a different person, like he's still a sweetie pie but he doesn't take shit from anyone me thinks.

[maximotts]

i feel like cowboy wanda would be so gentle the first few times she has sex with you bc she’s worried she’ll hurt you and scare you off but eventually she loses control a bit and manhandles you into position and when she pins you down, you moan and then the most DEVILISH smile spreads across her face

Ooo okay okay it's interesting you brought this up because I've been thinking about their first encounter a bit lately! We'll ignore that this turned into a whole fic, okay? I love them sm Also this isn't really edited because it was supposed to be a short answer and now it's uhm.. not short, so forgive any typos

18+ only please . wc: 2.7k . cw: first meeting hookup, drinking, dirty talk, oral, fingering, v light spanking, lap sits, possessiveness, Wanda being smitten, the pickup truck sex a lot of y'all have been asking me about that I said was coming, morning after with Wanda because she's as proper as she is filthy

Basically right now I have their first time more as a hookup where bunny is new to town and goes out to a bar one night to maybe make friends and see the environment, but then she meets Wanda and her group of friends who are all more than welcoming and you're having a great time hanging out with them.

But your eyes keep drifting to Wanda. Of course Wanda notices and, being the smooth talker she is, starts flirting with the new girl. She buys you as many drinks as you want which, end up being stronger than you're used to, but your nerves keep you ordering more. When she finally slips an arm around you, cornering you in the booth you'd only just plopped yourself into, you're more than ready for Wanda to kiss you— and kiss you she does.

You're shy by nature, never having made out with anyone in a bar, much less with a girl you'd only known for a few hours, but Wanda's thumb brushing over your cheek while she bites down on your bottom lip has you forgetting everything you're used to which admittedly, isn't much. Somehow she's pulled your thighs over her own, toying with the stretchy hem of the form-fitting skirt you'd decided to wear last minute. When she touches a particularly sensitive spot, you shiver and Wanda chuckles, "You cold, darlin'? Pretty as your arms are, I'll let you borrow my jacket if it'd help."

And so the night goes on with Wanda's thick denim jacket slung over your shoulders, her arm around your waist wherever the two of you walk. Normally you'd hate the presumptive way the cowgirl was handling you, as if she owned you already, but you'd be damned if you didn't admit you wanted her to stake her claim. So, in your slightly inebriated state, you took a leap, "Wands, I'm sleepy..."

Which catches her attention immediately. "Well now," Wanda pulls you close then, fingers carefully treading the line between caressing your hip and groping your ass; it would be the first time she whispers in your ear, but it'll never stop being insanely hot. "I hope you're telling me because you're going to let me take you home. I'd be real sad leaving tonight without you."

You wish your giggle of a reply didn't sound so girlish and naïve, but in hindsight, you had no idea the sheer intensity you were in for. "Only if you promise to behave yourself."

—

She's driven about halfway back to her house before she has to pull over; technically it was her land, pulled over to the side of the winding road and turning her truck engine off. "I know I promised to take you home, I still will, but I can't take another second not having my hands on you."

It takes you back a little; all you'd been doing was scratching over her jeans while you stared at the woman driving, but you weren't going to argue with her. "I don't really-"

"I've wanted you on my lap since I laid eyes on you. Get over here." Thankfully she doesn't have to convince you any farther, holding back a groan as you straddled her legs, skirt riding up inch by inch. It was a tight squeeze with you between her and the steering wheel, but Wanda hardly noticed once you started kissing her. This time was impossibly hotter, Wanda's tongue taking control of the kiss before moving on to shamelessly leave marks along your jaw and neck.

And Wanda is too good at getting your clothes out of the way, leaving you topless with record speed, squeezing at your breasts roughly while you struggled just to keep up with her mouth. "What if someone sees..."

The brunette only starts toying with your nipples, relishing in the way it got you rolling your hips. "It's pitch dark, silly girl. I can barely see you out here, don't worry your pretty little head."

You lost the last bit of your restraint the moment Wanda passed her fingertips over your underwear. They were thin lace, chosen by design so as not to show under your skirt, but they drove Wanda wild. She pushed them aside to slide her fingers along where you were already warm and sensitive, hips stuttering as she stroked over your clit. "O-Oh.."

"Look at you, already wet and needy. Were you like this all night? That why I caught you squeezing your thighs together so often?" You shook your head, trying to deny it, but you weren't even fooling yourself.

Wanda's had you rocking in place for hours by this point; you thought sure you'd been subtle and being called out for your behavior found your head ducking into the crook of Wanda's shoulder to avoid her knowing gaze. "Aww, it's okay! It'll be our little secret, promise..."

Wanda discovered night one what a responsive person you were, delighting in the vice grip you held on the back of her seat while she rolled your nipple in time with her other hand on your sensitive bud. You rocked against her hands as best you could, fighting to keep pace, but hopefully not finish so easily— it'd just been so long and you needed this much more than expected.

The next morning, you'd blame the alcohol. "Wanda please, I- I need.."

"What do you need, sweetheart, wanna cum? Make a mess in my truck after I barely got started with you?" You were nodding so hard your neck hurt, moaning quietly as you felt your body reach its peak; the first of many that night. Ears ringing and thoughts so pleasantly fuzzy, you couldn't recall a time you'd felt more free, in an old pickup truck or otherwise.

"Ooh, aren't you just a masterpiece..." The brunette took her time letting you down, pointer and middle fingers wandering until they just barely pushed into you: less than an inch, but unendingly torturous. "Sounds like I was able to make you feel better, least a little bit."

Tired hips tried every which way to sink onto Wanda's long fingers, the same ones you'd felt on you over your clothes back in the bar and had lists of naughty places you wanted her to put them. But each time, your lover avoids delving anywhere past shallow. "You're being mean, just fuck me."

"Mean? After I let you cum as early as you wanted? You don't know what mean looks like on me. Don't think you want to," A succession of wet slaps echoed in the truck's cabin, the silence of everything around you both amplifying the sound of Wanda lightly hitting your sensitive cunt and your resulting whimpers.

"Told you so. Now, bend over and stay still while I get a proper look like the obedient girl I know you are," Manhandling you over the length of her seats shouldn't have been as easy as it was after the long night out, but Wanda was strong and you never fought her while she pushed your arms to the passenger car door and spread your bent knees apart.

If you were begging her to fuck you out loud, you wouldn't be surprised, wishing so hard that if Wanda still refused to give you exactly what you wanted, she'd at least use her fingers, tongue, anything to fill where you currently felt so empty. "Please- I need more-"

Your thighs shake as she licks over your puffy folds, mumbling the most depraved things about you, your taste, your warmth, leaving you with the most intoxicating combination of feeling both used and adored. "You just keep dripping into my mouth, baby, it's impossible to keep you clean..."

"Can't help it, sorry," But your words aren't matching your actions, not when you kept searching out Wanda's tongue each time she flicked at your clit, pitifully rolling over the rough surface whenever she flattened it out.

You'd long since fogged up the windows, smudging the fog as your overheated cheek met the cold glass; each time you managed to open your eyes you remember exactly where you are, woods rustling in the middle of the night. "W-Wanda! 'm close again, please please...!"

"Mean girls wouldn't let you have two orgasms back to back, no matter how pretty." Wanda likes to believe she actually thought about whether or not to give you what you wanted, but in reality she knew she would leave you wanting the second you turned bratty. Sure it was a risk, not knowing how you'd react, but it was well worth the test to see if you had a chance of handling her past a quick night's distraction. "Straighten up, we're only a few minutes from home."

"That's not fair—"

But Wanda was already pushing you upright again, haphazardly fixing your dress, going so far as to buckle your seatbelt as if it'd keep you from your uncomfortable wiggling. "My car my rules! Like I said, we're not far."

Wanda expected you to pout and huff the whole way, worried in the back of her mind you wouldn't let her lay another hand on you after her denial, but she was pleasantly surprised. Somewhere shortly after she pulled back onto the road, you'd taken her hand; first just to play with her fingers, innocent fidgeting at best, but before she knew it, her digits were engulfed in sinfully wet warmth.

Her fingers in your mouth made the pair of you dizzy, hands holding her wrist as you pumped her digits in and out, tongue swirling over the tips and grinning once Wanda's neutral expression cracked, lips parting in a low groan. "Do mean girls let the good ones suck the strap they've been feeling near them all night or do they only get to play with their hands?"

"Depends on if they show them how bad they want it." Wanda could only look your way for seconds at a time, the visual of your half-lidded gaze trained on her jeans while you so obviously used your imagination to envision some other scenario, muffling your own needy sounds as you forced her fingers to the back of your throat... she'd underestimated the new girl.

Whether it was any lingering alcohol talking or whatever boldness Wanda unlocked that night, something urged you to continue goading her, making a show of spreading your legs and slipping her wet fingers to your sex before closing them once more, slowly grinding her shaking digits to sate yourself for that last tiny stretch of road to the farmhouse. "Bad enough to turn your hand into a toy for as long as you let me."

Wanda made that final turn up her driveway, parking her truck fast as she could with only one hand, "You're lucky I didn't crash just now, you little devil, can't wait to get you inside."

"Lead the way, since we're playing by your rules and all." As soon as she got her hand back, Wanda practically dragged you from her vehicle and for as many hours as you spent awake in her home, you couldn't remember a single detail of any room she brought you through that night.

—

When you wake up, it's to a dimly lit bedroom, curtains drawn so only a sliver of late morning sun peeked through. Your body ached, but it wasn't from the drinking, taut muscles and lethargic thoughts bringing back bits and pieces of everything you got up to the second Wanda got you past the front door.

The same Wanda whose bed you assumed you were currently sprawled out in. Doubt crept in as you realized you're alone, fretting over if you should've fallen asleep there or not. You were deciding whether it'd be more awkward to sneak out and go back to town on foot or to search out Wanda and ask if she'd mind driving you back to your place when you heard a single knock on the door. "Can I come in?"

Your brow furrowed, "It's your room, of course you can come in." Wanda cracked the door slowly, the back of her loose flannel shirt greeting you first before she turned around, a small tray in her hands. "Sorry for crashing."

"Never said you were unwelcome, I'm sorry for letting you wake up in a strange place by yourself... and for not leaving you at least a shirt, my bad." Your arms hastily bundled the blankets to cover your chest, your nakedness pointed out to you, but Wanda laughed, setting the tray down before heading for her dresser. "Don't worry, darlin, I love the view just as much in the daylight."

"What a reassuring hostess I have," Pulling the t-shirt she tossed you over your head, the delightful scents coming from the tray down the bed now catching your attention. On it was a short stack of pancakes, bacon, orange juice, strawberries... the biggest breakfast you'd seen since you'd come to town. "Did you make that?"

Wanda nodded and slid the food closer to you before sitting on the edge of her mattress, "I don't typically make this much food, but I had to get up early to make some rounds in the barn and I figured I owed you a hearty breakfast after such a nice night."

There was something so endearing to how she explained her actions, rambling on to offset her nerves, No one had even gone to such lengths to make your morning so comfortable after a single hookup, but this set the bar high for anyone else who tried. Not that you'd ever have to worry about another first night, but neither of you knew that yet.

For now Wanda scrambled to find the right way to show genuine interest in the girl she'd brought home and fucked every which way until they passed out and you amusedly ate your special pancakes while watching Wanda try, her fumbling charming you more than she'd ever imagine.

Eventually you put her out of her misery, putting down your utensils to sit up on your knees and stretch over to plant a quick kiss on her soft lips. "I really appreciate it and I'm not even a bit mad with how I woke up, but it's very sweet of you to care, Wands."

"Oh good because I'd really like to see you again sometime, if you're up for it." It would be a rare thing to see Wanda so continuously shy, but she was uncharacteristically smitten and she wanted to get to know you before the rest of the small town came for their changes too.

You hummed as you popped a strawberry into your mouth, licking your fingers in a way that painfully reminded Wanda of the previous night, "How's today?"

"Today?" The farmgirl ran a hand through her long hair, cocking her head to the side much like a lost puppy.

"Yeah, today. If you wouldn't mind me following along." With each minute that ticked past, the less you wanted to leave, much preferring a Sunday spent with Wanda than in your flat full of moving boxes.

Her eyes lit up, smile brighter than the sun, “Can’t complain about a beautiful girl all to myself all day!" Wanda was practically buzzing with everything she wanted to show you, from the chicken coops to the haylofts, but she forced herself to keep her cool.. on the surface at least. "Finish up breakfast and I'll find you some kind of pants."

"But I'm so cozy right here without them." Maneuvering over the last bits of food on your plate meant you more fell into Wanda's lap than sat on it, but she caught you nonetheless, tugging you down for the proper kiss she'd been waiting to share with you since early morning light. "Come back to bed with me?"

After the long sleep your energy was renewed, finally able to take Wanda into all your senses again, the taste of her lips, the subtle earthy smell from the work she'd already done that day, her strong hands settling confidently on your upper thighs... getting dressed was the last thing on either of your minds. "Wouldn't be much of a hostess if I didn't let my guest do as she pleased."

In the end, the pair of you might've set the world record for longest date from Sunday morning to when Wanda finally dropped a reluctant you back into town Wednesday afternoon.

[zombyjuice]

NOBODY BETTER THAN YOU! - eunseok.🍨🦷🐆🍦 t(>.<t)

In which your boyfriend you recently just got back together with is coming over for the first time since.

bf!eunseok x fem loser!reader

toxic relationship, fluff, angst, smut! suggestions to the reader having depression (NOT ROMANIZING.) suggested cheating. etc..

so many things inspired/helped me make this so I’m just gonna . @melobin and @anquelic on insta and my playlist below took inspo from there too <33 lol!

“Eunseoks here…” one of your roommates sneered from the other side of the door you could almost feel the face they gave eachother. You hop up and rush to open your door with a wide smile on your face “Hey baby” your boyfriend, walking towards you, a hand in one pocket and a bag of Burger King in the other an extremely attractive smile on his face “hii” you practically melted pulling him into your room and hugging him tight.

“Please don’t fuck yet! Give it a week!”

“shut the fuck up!”

He chuckled kissing your forehead and pinching your sides, you loved it when he did that, made you feel so safe you could practically feel your heart melt watching his movements as he placed the bag on your table.

That feeling goes away in an instant as you watch him sigh as he moves some of your clutter to the side. This made your heart flutter with sadness and your brain go a bit fuzzy.

He understands you more than anybody really, he’s patient and he does seem to care for you, he understood all those months before you guys were ever official you’d disappear trying to decide if he’s the one and if you should give him the chance.

He understood the nights where you’d just sit in silence not wanting to be touched or talked to, and he understood the nights you guys would be talking like normal only for you to start crying out of nowhere, or the nights you’d scream and push him losing your temper only to end up in his arms letting him watch you crumble under him. “It’s okay baby, it’s okay I've got you, doing so well for daddy” “‘m not mad at you, okay pretty, it's okay”. He understood the nights when you were finally your silly self after spending a weekend alone.

He understood all your quirks and interests. Once he dragged you to one of his sets because he remembered someone working on it had a dog who understood multiple languages, remembering your rather odd fascination with it how. can they do that? And watching as you said sit to the dog in Spanish, French, and Japanese, complete shock and happiness painted on your face as you laughed and laughed, adoration painted on his.

So how is it that you caught him multiple times all over the girl, the same girl he had a pass with, rumor has it they were “casually” sleeping together before you ever entered the picture you know it was deeper than that. To him “it wasn’t that big of a deal and he was just being nice.” You had to constantly shift your morals just so you could be happy with him, he knew you hated it, he knew the disgust you felt with yourself every time you’d go back with him. But you loved him so it's alright.

You knew the irritation and anger that bubbled up inside of him when you'd ask “Are you unhappy in our relationship?” or “Am I annoying you? I'm sorry” but he loves you so he's got to deal with it, right?

And no matter how many times you believed he cheated he was stable, nothing in your life is stable but him. So maybe that’s why you feel you always go back to him. And only him. Because, to you, there's nobody better than him.

He turned to you already able to read your face “It's alright, today's our lazy Sunday isn't it? We'll clean a bit tomorrow but for now, cmere let's lie down”

The smile that was once on your face came back and you gladly took his hand as he led you to your bed and cozy. Watching some of your favorite horror movies and munching on Burger King you between his legs a hands squishing your thighs and head dropping down to your neck every now and then to suck a hickey at your favorite spots your hands would grab at his knees as you whimper and giggle. “quit it, they’re finally escaping”. He'd quietly pout and slightly rut his hips up against you visibly hard.

{2:49 am}

Your eyes meet your boyfriends and grab at his hand that's hitching up your inner thigh, yours visibly smaller “Should we play some-” he smashed his lips against yours, your first actual kiss of the night “fuck I know we said we wouldn't do anything, but shit you look so good, sound so good, need to fuck my babies in you, make you mine forever” he grabbed at your neck and slid it down to your arm, manhandling you under him.

You could only submit to him, knowing this would have happened by the end of the “night”.

“Can’t believe I spent so many Sundays without you, felt so wrong, I’ve missed you so much” he'd moan against your lips grabbing at your thighs and aggressively pushing them up as he grinds against you, whimpers slipping out of you “missed you so much more” you’d whisper mind going elsewhere remembering exactly why you spent so many night away from each other’s grasp.

“Let me fuck away all that nonsense,only have you think about this cock” as if he could read your mind “please”.

And just like that he’d do exactly what he said.

[gavisuntiedboot]

Whenever you have the time could you write about Gavi with a gf that is a bit reserved and touch starved, her love language is physical touch but she doesn't initiate it with Gavi because her ex always told her she is clingy and annoying so she's insecure about it, so Gavi tries to show her it's okay by always cuddling her, or touching her in any way. And then over time she starts to initiate the cuddling/touching and Gavi is so proud and happy because she finally feels comfortable with him

Your writing is amazing btw, I've decided to wait for you to finish Just Pretend completely to continue reading it because whenever I finish the last chapter you post I get so sad because the next one isn't out yet and I can't live in the agony of not knowing what happens next

Pls hold my hand

"Princess, why do you have a sweatshirt that says ‘clingy’ on it?”

You looked over to Gavi, who plopped himself down on the couch next to you, grabbing the remote to cue the Netflix show the two of you had been watching for the last several weeks, eager to finally watch another episode, as the two of you held your shared series’ to a sacred standard. With only two episodes left of the latest “Drive to Survive”, you didn’t want to delay the experience with too much conversation.

"Just and inside joke between me and my friends.” You said, avoiding eye contact and focusing on the bag of m&m’s in front of you.

“Your friends think you’re clingy?” He asked, turning to face you as his hoodie slipped from his head, messy brown locks on full display. One of the things you adored about Pablo was how much he was always trying to protect you and look out for you. You weren’t really be confrontational, and this lead to some mistreatment and being pushed over at times by those close to you. Well, you used to. Since you and Pablo started dating about 8 months ago, he had been there to defend you against people who wanted to take advantage, and often was the voice reminding you to stick up for yourself.

“No no, it’s not them. It’s … something to do with my ex boyfriend. Do you still want to know?”

Gavi tensed at this. Despite you never saying anything explicitly negative about your boyfriend, all the stories Gavi heard made him hate the man with a burning passion. He had slowly but surely messed you up in so many ways, and now as Pablo worked to slowly unravel the knots tightened around your heart, he couldn’t help but curse the man that tied them to begin with.

“Yeah. You can tell me.”

You shifted in your seat, rather uncomfortable with the topic, but not wanting to lie to your boyfriend.

“Well, remember that little love languages quiz I made you do? Well I did mine like years ago, and I got physical touch. Which makes sense right because that’s one of yours and we seem to be getting along pretty well.” Gavi giggled at this, wrapping an arm around your shoulder and causing you to tense.

“Well, my last boyfriend wasn’t super into like… touching? Fuck that sounds sexual. I mean he didn’t really like being touched or cuddling or all that couple stuff. Didn’t like holding hands either. And like this one time, he was watching something on his computer and I was feeling bold or whatever and tried to sit on his lap — he hated that though. He liked pushed me onto the floor and told me to stop being clingy.” You forced out a laugh, trying to lighten the mood and soften the look of horror that had occupied Gavi’s face.

“That was actually why I broke up with him. Anyways I didn’t hug any of my friends for a month after that, and when they finally confronted me and I told them why, they got this made me for me. See, look at the sleeve,” you said, stretching out your arm to show him the ‘pls hold my hand’ embroidered on the sleeve. “So now whenever I’m in my clingy sweatshirt, my friends give me a ton of hugs and stuff. It’s funny. I think.” You say, winching slightly by the fact that Pablo’s eyebrows are still pushed together in anger.

He muttered his grievances about your boyfriend while cuddling closer to you, pulling you into his chest. Your cheeks warmed as they were pressed against Gavi’s beating heart. Despite the long time you had been dating Pablo, you still were shy when it came to initiating any sort of affection. You were too scared of annoying him and pushing him further away. So you remained shy and reserved, only responding to the touches he initiated.

“Give me your hand, silly. Never been with a girl who came with instructions before. Maybe I should get you a pair of panties that say-“ his sentence abruptly ended with a pillow to the face. You giggled, trying to pull away from his grasp, but he just pulled you closer, wrapping both arms around you now.

“Oh no no princesa. You’re not going anywhere. Now hush and make mean comments about Verstappen with me.”

~

Over the next few weeks, Pablo had made an active effort to make you more comfortable with being physical with him. Whenever the two of you were out, he held your hand or had you two link arms. He hugged you and kissed you on the cheek or forehead, asking, “you don’t want to give me a kiss back, Amor?” Puppy dog eyes and adorable pout on display, you coyly returned the peck to his jutted out lip. He smiled widely, teeth almost blinding you. He returned with an attack, kissing you across both cheeks, and ending with a searing kiss to the lips.

His favorite time was when you two watched shows together. He would always pull you in close, cuddling with you next to him on the couch. He would lean close and whisper his comments about the show into your ear, making your skin erupt in goosebumps as his breath famed over. He would press kisses into your temples, breathing in the sweet smell of your hair, and reminding you how much he loved being around you.

“You’re so warm amor - my personal furnace. I love it.”

“Your skin is so soft, feels so nice.”

“I wish I never had to get up from beside you.”

After three weeks of hand holding, kisses, and encouragement, you finally found the confidence to approach Gavi to heal your touch starvation. You put on your clingy hoodie again, laying out snacks on the coffee table and firing up her Netflix.

“Princesa I’m here! Where are you?”

Running to the door, you wrapped both arms around Gavi’s neck, pulling him into you and greeting him with a firm kiss. As he recovered from the unexpected greeting, you informed him that you would be in the living room pulling up a new series. He followed closely after kicking off his shoes, and peeling off his Barca jacket, picking up the hoodie you had laid out for him.

“Did you change shampoos? Used to be peach and now it’s strawberry.”

“How could you tell?” You asked, grabbing some drinks as Pablo got comfy on the couch. He crossed his arms across his chest, legs spread and back slumped.

“My clothes smell different around the shoulders. That’s usually where your wet hair sits.” He looked over at you, watching your eyes go wide. “Amor, you know I love you, stop being surprised when I actually act like it. Now what are we watching?”

Taking a deep breath, you walked back over. You grabbed the remote, pressing play.

“The new season of Black Mirror is out and I’m dying to see it. Heard this one is creepier than normal.” As you explained, you walked over to Gavi. Before he could move to make space for you on the sofa, you draped yourself over his lap. Your legs were to his side, back pressed to his chest. Your arms wrapped around his torso, and you laid your head on his shoulder. ‘Deep breaths it’s okay he’s not going to push you off.’

Pablo was stunned for a moment, so much so that he remained motionless. Once the shock wore off and he felt your slight tremble, he brought his muscled arms around you, pulling you tightly against him, soft lips pressing to your pulse point and freeing a soft gasp from your throat. He rested his head atop yours, the pressure and warmth comforting and familiar.

“Look at you being bold cariño. If I knew it would get you to sit in my lap we would’ve done this months ago.” You giggled softly in response, turning to face him. You rested your forehead against his, gazing deeply into the deep brown pools of his eyes. Leaning in, his lips eagerly met yours, refusing to release you. When you finally pulled away, you resumed your comfortable position in Pablo’s embrace. “I’m so proud of you, princesa.” The two of you fell into s comfortable silence, enjoying the show, squeezing each other tighter whenever things got intense.

“Can I get a matching clingy hoodie for whenever I want cuddles?” Pablo asked, smiling at you from above.

“I don’t think so, Pablito. You would never take it off.”

~~~

Guys I have the worst headacheeeeee but yay I posted!

[bronx-bomber87]

Hello my wonderful fandom :) Thank you for all your lovely comments on me being delayed. Not my usual M.O. but I definitely needed the extra time to process. I was GUTTED and absolutely wrecked. Poor D had to deal with my panic spiral for most of Wednesday. (love you lol) I'll be honest I'm still little shook up and sad. Kinda grateful for the 3 week break tbh between episodes. This was a gut punch I wasn't in the least expecting. Hoping we'll get a S7 announcement during this hiatus. *fingers crossed* Get it together ABC. This took me awhile to unpack emotionally so thank you all again for being so patient.

So I want to preface this post. There will be ZERO And I mean ZERO bashing of Tim in this review from me. Would appreciate that in comments as well. I love conversation you know I love comments. What I don't like is hate being spread. Also nothing on Eric either. I've also seen this which is utter madness. Don't touch our captain. Man loves this fandom so much. Deserves respect. If you came to this review for either of those things please promptly exit stage left. I mean that in the kindest way possible but I love Tim/Eric so it's a non starter with me.

I’ve never so deeply related with a character in all my life as I have with Tim Bradford. I’ll be dissecting this ep to best of my ability. I love both these characters so very much. Why I was knocked out for a couple days before could tackle this. I imagine my thoughts will change when I do my summer in depth one. When we have the rest of the season in pocket. I have to say this won't be mini at all. LOL So lets get rid of that concept right now ha I can't be mini with this ep. I am not brief so thanks for reading. Also hats off to Eric my god he was incredible in this episode. Melissa too killing me left, right and center you two. Let us get started.

6x06 Secret and Lies.

Poor Lucy looks like me when I’m stressed and drained af. Tamara asking how stressed she currently is? Lucy answering 19.....She looks like a 19 if not worse tbh. This is probably the most time they've spent apart since they got together. Basically living together at this point let's be honest. Other than 6x01 they haven't really spent time apart aside from that UC op in 5x21. *sigh*

Tamara asking if Tim is still ghosting her? Lucy trying so hard to keep it together with her answer. My heart. What a wreck she is without Tim. Do love that we get to see her pin-up board btw. Good shot of her room we don’t usually get. That cupcake poster I love it so much. Although now it makes me sad...

Lucy asking what's wrong? Tamara telling her she wants to move out with some friends from school. Crap. Her moving is the last thing she needs…. But it's good for her even though the idea makes me sad. End of an era. Lucy is right she needs to live with people her own age. Doesn’t make it hurt less though. This is a ROUGH season for Lucy my god. The hits keep coming for our girl and I wanna hug her. Shield her somehow....

Lucy touching near her tattoo when she reaches Angela. (Mini gut punch.) I do love her coming to Angela about this. If there is anyone who knows Tim like she does it's Angela. Does help she finds his behavior alarming too. I mean of course she does. You can see the immediate worry. The empathy she has for Lucy is there but she holds her cards close in her advice. Telling her to trust him even though it's literally killing her. Not the council Lucy needed to hear or was looking for.

Lucy wanted more action than 'Just wait and trust him.' She has been trusting him but she’s so insanely worried. Going out of her mind with anxiety for her person. It's exuding out of of her and she looks like she wants to cry…Ugh me too Lucy. I’m an empath and an anxious one at that. I would be going out of my mind too…. Angela looks worried as hell though. Even though she isn't conveying that to Lucy at this point. Breaking my heart as she takes off from their convo. Because if she doesn't she'll lose it right then and there.

God I love Angela Lopez. First off well done on tracking him down. She's just a bad ass. I mean it's one of the reason's Lucy reached out to her tbh. Just gets into his car, drinking his soda, calling him out right away. I love her reasoning saying she can live off Wesley’s trust fund. Lmao. Doesn’t matter as much if she get's fired. 'Wine o'clock.' for her. Gotta love the confidence. I truly hope we get more Tim/Angela scenes the rest of this season. I always adore their dynamic.

Tim is sold on her reasoning and starts to explain the current situation he's trapped in. Angela taking it all in and assessing everything as he explains. Once Tim has succinctly summed up his current predicament Angela's reply is the best. 'I’m in.' lmao I love this woman. ‘I got your back boo.’ That she does. In more ways than he even realizes at this point.

Gotta commend Angela calling him out for walking away from Lucy. Not only that but his job to arrest a guy hasn’t thought of in a decade…. Ain’t no one better than her to be there to call him out his crap right now. Not only that but to really dig deep. To know this is far more than what he's sharing. This is why Angela is an incredible detective rooting things out like this. Saying this is more than just protecting Lucy. Her intuition is out of this world.

I mean she's not wrong. Lucy would understand if it was just about the benefits. She would be proud really. Thing is it's about protecting himself too. Which really just scratches the surface of why he is doing this. Tim knows he's caught even if he shrugs it off. She has him dead to rights and he knows it. 'I’m your BFF. I know you.' Ha it’s true whether you like it or not Timothy…Just like Lucy she has your number.

Angela giving him crap with how they're following Ray. Worried he isn't being smart about this. This is so unlike him to be this sloppy and unfocused. She was right he was tailing too close… Ray catches on to their tail quickly. When he scanned the vehicle made me so nervous. Doing it while he's taunting Tim. He's so detail oriented blows my mind Tim let that get by him. This SL gave me such MASSIVE anxiety as I watched it. Oh my lord.

The minute they get back to Angela's place she calls him out once again. Asking why he thinks this is ALL his fault? Tim shrugs it off and she refuses to take that as his final answer. Of course Angela was right there is far more to this story. Tim finally opens up to her about what happened. He had been leading his squadron for some time. Looking to move up to Sergeant.

The catch was he couldn’t be promoted if there was rampant criminality in his unit. Ray clearly was in the way of him moving up. Tim figured he could keep it within his unit if they went after him.. Oh Tim…. It was an unsanctioned mission too. Thinking if he could accomplish this would be easy fast track to his promotion.

Kills me to know he was there during the air strike ugh… Details missing from the last episode. The Humvee saved him and Mark but not his other men… I can't imagine what Tim felt in that moment. The immense amount of guilt laid on his soul from here on out. I mean it makes sense why he never left patrol before Lucy. The last time he tried to advance his career this happened. My broken boy.

Eric CRUSHES this scene. I wanna cry. My poor Timothy. He was more focused more on his career than his oath...Got two of his men killed. My damn heart. He’s so ashamed of himself. The way he points at himself when he says 'leadership.' I knew his military past would be dark but holy crap. I wanted more of his backstory and they delivered that in spades. What a gut punch this had to be for him. No doubt his men were loyal af to him. Would've followed him anywhere and did.

He carries leading those men to their deaths because they followed his leadership. Oof. That is quite the weight to keep on your soul. Also gives us insight to why he shoulders everything. Even when he doesn't have to. Punishing himself for past transgressions such as this. I'm sure when we get to the other side of this season, I will have an even deeper respect for the writers going into his backstory like this. Giving us even more insight to this man.

This hurts so good to get this kind of info. I have no doubt that’s why he shut Lucy out. The shame he feels is overwhelming. I totally get it. Nothing scarier than someone knowing your darkest secrets. Not only that but worrying they’ll think less of you due to it. Tim already struggles with self loathing. Been a theme for him his entire arc on this series. Something I've touched on a lot. This is truly bringing that to light in the most painful way.

We see Ray scanned Tim's car in order to gain access to it. To check his GPS to see where he's been. How he's been tracking him. When he scrolls down to Lucy's address. Made my stomach sink. Legit felt sick to my stomach....

I do love Lucy coming home and having Tamara there. Saying she ordered pizza for them. This is exactly what she needs. Do you really have to go Tamara? I wonder if she'll delay leaving now after this ep. There is a knock at the door and of course it's not the pizza. It's Ray. Hair's on the back of my neck stood up from the moment he entered that apt.

I know Melissa stated in her interview she was nervous about this scene. That she came off awkward in her anger. You are incorrect madam. Holy hell Lucy is a BAMF. Telling him the only call she's gonna make is for the ambulance. Because when she's done with him he's going to need it to wheel him out. Holds her ground like the confident bad ass we've all loved seeing her become.

Lucy calling him shaking and demanding where he was. Ooh lord hell fire coming with her through that front door. I love Angela grabbing Tamara to another room. Like let's go mom and dad are about to have a big blow out. Let's give them some space...

Tim asking if she's ok? Truly concerned but Lucy isn't having ANY of it. 'Do I look ok?' Damn no she doesn't....Ripping into him saying how that creep could've showed up when she wasn't there. Lucy is not wrong....Oh my lord I’ve never seen her so damn mad. She is RAGING at him and rightfully so. Her home was violated, Tamara was put in danger and threatened. All because Tim was trying to protect her. phew.

Tim FINALLY concedes to telling her something. It only seems to enrage her more. She is literally vibrating with anger in this scene with him. The more he tells her the more it doesn't explain why he left her in the dark. Lucy begging him to read her in. I mean she has earned that my love. ..Telling him to stop protecting her. Gah Tim is a deep loyalist who would protect anyone he loves even if it's not the right thing. His reply is a reflection of that.

'I can't. I won't.' He's so driven to keep her safe. His instinct is to protect her but doesn't see he's hurting her in the process. I knew she was going to be pissed he let Angela in and not her. But Tim was right she has a lot less to lose. Which doesn't seem pertinent in this moment...I do love her placing her hands on his when she also replies. 'I can't. I won't.'

Mirroring his words from moments ago. Just like he will never stop protecting her. Lucy will never stop fighting for him or longing to help him. That man is her entire world. The most important person in her life. It makes perfect sense she would help with this. Career be damned. I mean she risked her career to get him a shot at Metro. Of course she would do the same thing in order to shoulder his burden with him.

Love her standing her ground in this moment. Like damnit I love you and you are going to let me in. Whether you like it or not I am here and I'm going to help. If this wasn't a reflection of the communication problems that still painfully exist between them I don't know what is. I mean she tried to be patient and trust him. But honestly he needed this kick in the ass to let her in. Which is a problem. Lucy needs to be the first person he goes to. It shouldn't have to come to this. *sigh*

Their OP goes off without a hitch. Except Ray saying he was going to be an air strike on Tim's life.... God I had no idea as I was watching that scene how true it would be. Tim gets his interview and lies to protect Angela and Lucy. While keeping his own job intact as well. Also welcome back to Jackson’s dad. Hello there Percy. This is not how I wanted to see him again.

But he is IA him returning was never gonna be a good thing tbh in a post Jackson world. Regardless it was nice to see him again. The scene is Grey's office is ROUGH. Never seen Wade so disappointed in Tim. It hurts to watch. Just like this entire gut punch of an episode. Tim is just standing there in utter shame of everything. Ashamed Wade is looking at him like this.

Kills me Grey has to inform Pine of what he did. It makes sense he has to but damn that sucks. The amount of respect Tim has for Wade is immense. To watch him tear Tim apart and just stand there like a puppy being scolded hurts my soul. Especially when he tries to fight Pine knowing. Just dismissing him without further comment or argument...

So I will say this and it's not at all fair to Lucy that I thought this I'm sure. But I felt like if there was gonna be a breakup it would be coming from her. Not Tim in this moment. That's the part of this moment that really knocked the wind out of me. She had every damn right to be the one too btw. Instead she is there waiting for him with open arms. Honestly I took a breath for the first time this entire episode when she welcomed him in.

Wrapping him up in her arms. Encasing him, rubbing his back, her fingers in his hair. Gently cradling him against her. I thought ok maybe we'll be alright. Since Lucy isn't nearly as angry as she was earlier. Maybe they can get through this together. Cause she loved on him regardless of what happened. The unconditional love she has for this man blows me away. I honestly thought with her loving on him maybe they'd make it out. That they’d work through it together.

Tim looks so very defeated. On the verge of an actual breakdown as he explains that he lied about everything. Saying it saved his job...protected Angela and her. It doesn't seem like enough of a win to him. He looks so very destroyed and this is just the beginning of his downward spiral.

Lucy is doing everything to be his rock in this moment. To assuage him of his guilt… Most vulnerable ever seen Tim *pre tears*…. Lucy telling him it was an impossible situation. She would've done the same thing. It’s so very clear she was willing to work through this. To build them back to where they were before he got that phone call. Everything Lucy was in this scene represented her unconditional love for him. Tim is just too destroyed at the moment to see it….Also for him to accept it. It's so hard to truly accept unconditional love if you've never had it before. To truly trust in it.

Lucy is watching him spiral out of control. The way he's talking about himself with such loathing. How she never would've been in a place where she put her self interest over her team like him. She is trying her damndest to right his wrong. But Tim is having none of it. It pains me to see it... Pains Lucy too. It's the way she grabs onto him while he continues his verbal self flogging that get's me.

Trying to ground him in this moment with her touch. Bring him back to her. Something that has worked so well in the past. Sadly not having the intended affect this time around. Tim is too damn gone at this point. He feels he’s betrayed everything he thought he was. THOUGHT he was. *heart clutch* Tim has such a deep moral compass. That's why this is rocking him so very much. Ugh my heart. I too have a crazy deep moral compass. I can't say I wouldn't be spiraling out like him as well.

This was his greatest sin brought to light. To Tim exposing him for the fraud he feels he is. Him saying he's been lying to himself for a long time is a reflection of this. That imposter syndrome coming out real strong here. Something he buried deep down came rushing to the forefront and he is imploding. Says as much above. He no longer feels worthy to be in her life now. I get this anytime I screw up with a friend or my sister. I have this deep sense of shame attached to it. Like I no longer deserve that friend or my sister cause I messed up or if a past sin comes up. That they'll no longer love me or will forever look at me differently cause of it.

It's not logical but it's deeply ingrained from my mom shaming me for doing anything wrong growing up. As it is for Tim. His father literally beat the hell out of him for ever being out of line. He has suffered emotional and physical abuse. Unless confronted and treated comes out like this. Demons making their way to the surface. I was bawling by the time he said 'I'm sorry.' He’s never seen himself worthy of Lucy’s love that much has always been evident. But to see it this raw and visceral ripped my heart out. It’s on the ground where they're both standing.

I think this is something that has been brewing in the background for Tim for a long time. Now that I've had time away to decompress and think. I'm actually very excited they're tackling this. It's clear Tim is not in a place where he thinks he deserves her anymore. Low key never has been. He acts before he thinks. Eric had a great quote from his interview about Tim "He is impulsive and he reacts instead of thinking things through, and it can come out a bit too strong.” That is this decision in a nutshell. He feels he is a burden therefore he is removing himself without thinking it through. The regret that is going to come with this is going to be immense for him.

'You deserve so much better.' Better than me basically. He feels immense shame and that shame is launching him away from her. You know I learned something in therapy about this. About not being perfect and feeling like I'm too much. i.e. a burden. My therapist told me and it made me cry. 'You are worthy of the space you take up in people's lives. They want you there.' Tim does not think he is worthy of the space he is taking up in Lucy's life now. All his sins on the table laid out for her to see. He can't handle it. That much is very clear here. I will say I haven’t let a ship hurt me like this in a long time.

This absolutely crushed me. I couldn't even fathom assembling my thoughts. Cut me very deep. Been with this ship since day one. Also what a crushing blow this is for Lucy. Our poor girl. I mean she gave everything to this relationship. I mean EVERYTHING. She was all in from the moment Tim said ‘Unless it is.’ This was her first real relationship. First real leap into being serious. Thinking about marriage and kids. She gave her all to Tim my god. Her career took a hit for him and she never complained. Knew he was worth it (he still is btw) Fought every step of the way for him. For them.

When he was pulling back above it was an absolute panic for her. She could see him slipping through her fingers. Idk what broke my heart more Tim thinking he’s not worthy of her any longer or her begging him not to do this. She literally can't fathom how he can let go of her like this. Thought she was his person. Tim feels he’s gone back to who he was pre-Lucy and that scares him. He feels undeserving of the love she has to give him. Lucy knows everything and in his mind he can’t imagine her still loving him.

Lucy was as we all were in this scene. In disbelief... Even though Tim put her though absolute hell she was still there to comfort and support him. Because to her he is worth it even in the hard times. We all know Tim isn’t the best with his emotions. In his trauma damaged brain he thinks he’s doing the right thing here. That he’s radioactive, she deserves better than being around him and his reckless behavior.

The kiss on her head. Lucy trying to physically push away his rejection. Stomping all over my damn heart...However this ends up playing out Tim is going to have to address his emotional instability. How he charges forward and doesn’t think things through. Ruled by his emotions in the worst way. He’s impulsive and he’s gonna have to fight to get her back when he’s in a better mindset. Her trust has been obliterated by this. She fought and clawed for them and this was her reward. He’s gonna have to do some serious healing to get back to her. Lucy has loved him the best she can but he needs to put in some work now. We see next ep he's meeting with Aaron's therapist. Don't love that but I’ve wanted Tim to go to therapy for years. He needs this. Therapy doesn’t work unless you put the effort in though.

That will be a challenge for him. When I get out of the purview of this hurt I’m feeling...I’m actually going to be really impressed and happy they had Tim go through this. Do I think this is the end of them? No I think this is some serious growing pains. It was issues that have been percolating since Lucy did that 5 player trade. Hell probably back in 5x12 when Tim sacrificed himself without telling her so they could stay together. I still think that was romantic because of it's intended nature. BUT was the beginning of the communication problems. They’ve grown so very much in that regard. We’ve seen it but there is still work to be done on that front. It just came to a very gutting painful head.

I still have faith in the writers. I still have faith they’ll be ok. It might not be right away and I'm already feeling impatient tbh. But this is some serious realism being applied to them. It wasn't some random BS angst. Honestly we’re lucky our ship gets the most attention, the best SL’s and two people who LOVE these characters. They absolutely adore them and this ship. If you haven’t read Melissa and Eric’s interviews for this episode I highly recommend. This sucks right now. No two ways about it. But we will survive this storm. They’ll come out stronger than ever. Truly believe that. But for now let's rally around each other and get through this together. There will be brighter days ahead just doesn't feel like it right now. We got this.

~~~

Side notes non Chenford.

Do love Aaron working with Harper all if of all I cared about other than their SL in this one. Nolan's I fast forwarded which I normally don't do but I had no patience for his BS in this ep lol My anxiety was rampant in this ep and had no space for him.

Also RIP Metro Tim for the 6x07 promo. This hurts to see not just cause I enjoyed him in that outfit lol But to see his career take a nosedive like this. I wanted more Tim back story. Didn’t think would hurt like this though....Feel free to comment I love you all for any interaction I get with these. <3

[hello0780]

solitaire Ranttttt

I love this book and I've read it at least 30 times. i just want to say before I start that these are my personal opinions about the book.

I know i said I've read it a lot but i still don't know everything so please don't get mad if i get any facts incorrect.

Solitaire starts as Victoria (tori) Spring is starting school after x-mas or winter break. Tori lives with her mom, dad, and two brothers, Charlie and Oliver. Charlie, who is also in the heartstopper comics, struggles with an ED. I truly think that this effects Tori's life a lot. I know its not Charlies fault but I'm sure tori is almost constantly worrying about him. Tori and her mother don't get along very well. I'm not entirely sure why they don't but i think they touch more on that fact in This Winter. I've read it but it was a long time ago and i really need a reread.

on a different note. I've been needed to talk about this but none of my friends care enough. This is a controversial opinion but i hate Becky. she is such a bitch to tori and i just can't stand her. i know most of the time when tori and her would fight it would be when Becky is drunk but that doesn't make anything she has done right. she dated Ben Hope, one of the worst people in the universe of solitaire. i guess i don't really have a true reason to hate her accept for the fact that i have had friends like Becky. its all fine and its a beautiful friendship, then out of nowhere they go behind you and become friends or start dating someone that isn't a good person. they don't know they are a bad person and you do. and if you try to tell them that they are a bad person they either don't care or they don't believe you. I truly don't get why people like Becky. this is way too much but I'm going to do it any way. I'm going to analyze one of their fights.

pages 226-228 Solitaire

Becky was kissing Ben Hope after 100% knowing how awful of a person he was and still is to her best friends little brother. Tori sees this happening at the Solitaire party and is furious. which is completely reasonable because of how actually nasty he is.

after ben walks off Becky asks tori what she's looking at. in the next bit tori just goes off on her saying stuff like "you are a nasty bitch," and "you just don't care, do you?"

"that's it isn't it? I'm you naive little friend whose sad little life makes you feel better about yourself. well, you're absolutely spot-on there. I haven't got a single clue about anything. But you know what i do know? I know when someone is being a nasty bitch. Go ahead and cry your little crocodile tears if you want to. You don't fucking care at all do you?" this is a rant Tori goes on while arguing. This leaves Becky absolutely speechless.

"well- you- you're the one being a nasty bitch! Jesus Christ just calm down." After Becky says this Tori tells the reader that, i quote, "this is bad. I need to stop. I can't" Tori is now aware that she can't help was she says anymore. She no longer trust Becky. She no longer has a "BFF". Becky has betrayed her.

Tori continues to yell at Becky. "I'm sorry - do you have any comprehension of the level of betrayal you have just reached? Do you have any concept of friendship? I didn't think it was possible for someone to be that selfish, but clearly i've been wrong all this time" Tori is very very upset now and then says " You've killed me. You've literally killed me."

Becky has single handedly DESTORYED Tori. Becky is awful, and of course she just tells her to calm down. she literally was just making out with a boy that SA'd HER BEST FRIENDS BROTHER! and she knew he did it. which is ACTUALLY INSANE!!!!!

just the amount of betrayal and shit she caused makes be fucking sick to my stomach. yeah i do know that its a fake story and they aren't real people. it's just the fact that people like Becky do really do shit like this. I can't believe people are actually capable of stuff like this.

i really need to shut up but i have two more quotes from Tori then I'll stop.

"You have solidly proven that everyone and everything is shit. well done. Gold star. please delete yourself from my life."

" i am gone. I am gone. I guess everyone is like this. Smiles, hugs, years together, holidays, late night confessions, tears, phone calls, one million words - they don't mean anything. Becky doesn't care. No one really cares."

thank you for listening/reading

[absolutebl]

hi there 🖐🏼 what are your recs for bl movies with great acting?

BL Movies with GREAT Acting

Specifically Movies? Do KBLs that were cut into movies count? Hum, I'm gonna make a judgement call given how few actual movies I have to work with and say if it holds as a "movie going experience" I can count it. I should say in order to really push this into the superlative acting space the BL aspect on many of these is... light.

His

Japan 2020 Viki

His is about being a grown adult and still struggling with coming out as gay. It addresses the consequences of life choices disingenuous to identity. Nagisa turns up on Shun’s doorstep with his precocious daughter in tow. This is a touch confusing to Shun since they were each others first love and ended badly. Shun has retreated from society, rejecting the world before it can reject him, already brokenhearted because without Nagisa he never had a reason to fight. Nagisa went the opposite way, tried to pretend to be something he was not and ended up with a daughter he adores and a wife who hates him. The acting is killer, Miyazawa Hio is sulky in the best possible way, the filming is beautiful and the setting unique and interesting...

I'm not wild about the ending. Moody arthouse smackdoodle is going to pretend that "ambiguous" is somehow unique and special rather than bog standard commonplace for narratives of this type. But endings are my hangup, not yours?

This is not really BL (the prequel was), so few of the tropes are used. You do not need to have watched the prequel.

Your Name Engraved Herein

Taiwan 2020 Netflix

This movie is fantastic but it is also seriously depressing. It’s a self acceptance journey that goes emotionally array on the alter of history, but if you wanna wallow in high quality acting and serious gay drama, this’ll do it. I would say it's not really BL, no real trope drops at all.

Okay those two I chose more on the strength of the acting than BL. These others are not going to be at the same standard/style.

If you want moee of the above level of drama, things get very sad in the BL world, so Love of Siam, Dew, Eternal Yesterday, Goodbye Mother, etc...

Restart After Come Back Home (Risutato wa tadaima no ato de)

Japan 2020 Gaga?

Atmospheric study in rural Japan meets complex family dynamics built on a romance framework of city boy meets country boy, grumpy/sunshine. It’s beautiful and icy sweet. Slow moving in places but ultimately worth the patience, low heat, low angst, and stunning. The acting is a touch stiff, in that Japanese reserved way.

This is the only BL movie, as a movie, that I could pull. There are others, I jsut don't think the acting is good enough.

So here are some highly rated short bingable series that are movie length (1.5-2.5 hours) but not really movies - BUT with killer acting. So they still might satisfy the itch. I places them in order of acting and filming quality, not my own personal preference.

From Japan

Old Fashion Cupcake

Tokyo in April is...

Life: Love on the Line (director's cut)

My Beautiful Man

I Cannot Reach You

Seven Days

From Taiwan

Red Balloon

We Best Love (esp part 2)

About Youth

HIStory 2: Crossing the Line

From Korea

To My Star

Long Time No See

The New Employee

Where Your Eyes Linger

More like this?

I want to shout out The Eighth Sense here too. It's longer than movie length but so well acted.

(source)

[blue-sadie]

Tears Of Blood

Neteyam Sully x Human Reader

Prt 1. Prt 2

Summary: neteyam pov of 'tears of gold'

Warning: reader death

Neteyam/3rd person pov

This place was sickening I hate the people I hate the food generally I hate this place all together it made me and my family feel like outcasts and I hated it, Yn be came more distant since we came here and it's partly my fault.

I've been pressured by my dad to hang out with other na'vis and when ever I suggested she come hangout with us they laugh in my face and started speaking bad at her and I guess that I started doing it as well.

"You forgot me again" she murmured I sucked in a breath as I sat next to her "oh sorry" I whispered as it fell into silence ever since the move she's become distant and I don't really blame her I'm being a complete jerk to her.

"What happened to u-" she asked but was interrupted by nyx one of the girls that spoke absolute crap but was kinda the 'leader' of the group.

"Come on neteyam" nyx called but I didn't want to go I sighed heavily as I got up walking away not looking back because of how guilty I'm feeling 'i'll make it up to her...... eventually'.

I hung out with them till eclipse before heading home but yn still wasn't back "neteyam please go find her" mom asked as she prepared dinner.

I nodded and started to head to the shore a bit aways from the village where she likes to collect rocks and shells when I got there she was staring off into the dark horizon the light from the moon and water illuminating her face perfectly

She looked stunning I gently smiled to myself she was perfect but I quickly cleared by throat "mom's look for you" I said watching her closely "she's not my mom" she snapped making my breath hitch.

I quickly moved beside her "what's wrong" I asked my voice filled with concern "I don't belong here neteyam" she murmured as tears started rolling down her cheeks my heart clenching at the sight "i-i" I tried to speak but just didn't know what to say.

"You were really the only one that felt like family now your a stranger to" she cried my heart breaking and burning with sadness "I want to go home" she whaled I froze for a second.

How could see not see that this is her home with me "but you are home" I murmured holding back from wiping her tears I didn't deserve to touch her or hold her.

"It isn't and never was" she spat cradling herself into her knees "don't think like that" I whispered but came up with an idea that could cheer her up "how about we hang out tomorrow the whole day" I smiled "ok".

I chuckled at her "come on mom's made dinner" I murmured helping her help and we quietly chatted as we went back home and having a nice prepared meal before going to bed 'just like old times'.

I woke up to someone shaking me awake "what the hell" I whispered opening my eyes which widened as I saw nyx with a finger to her lips before gesturing me to follow her I quickly looked at yn who was fast asleep.

'I won't be that long' so I quietly got up and followed her "what do you want nyx" I asked as we walked over to the small group of na'vis "nothing special" she grinned "we just wanted to show you something" one of the boys laughed.

"And what is that" I snapped "wow neteyam you really wanna get back to that demon so bad" nyx snorted making the others laugh too "no I don't" I muttered.

"Then why do you hang out with her" she asked scrunching up her nose in disgust "I feel bad for her" my heart ached with each word" I really do or I'll just leave her in the dust".

A clash of buckets made me turn around and my eyes widened it was yn I opened my mouth to speak and explain myself but she just shook her head before running off.

"Surves the little demon right for eavesdropping on us" nyx laughed and I finally lost it "she's not a demon" I shouted making them jump I turned to them with a glare "she is my friend".

"Dam nete chill out" nyx rolled her eyes walking up to me but I pushed her away "no you chill out you bitch" I snapped making the boys push me away from her.

"Aww does little neteyam have a crush on her" one of the boys teased I quickly punched him making him fall and the others quickly scattered because they knew they couldn't face me.

The only one who stayed was nyx I turned to her "and don't ever call me nete again" I snapped before walking away to find yn but I couldn't "sir" I murmured walking up to my dad.

"Yes neteyam" he asked turning to me with a smile but it was quickly wiped away after I explained what happened "where is she" dad murmured his eyes filled with worry and sadness.

"I don't know" I whimpered my heart clenching with each horrible thought that came to mind "neytiri, guys let's go" he called and we started searching "you dumb fuck" lo'ak muttered.

We searched around the village some more before heading to the shore "what the hell is wrong with you" dad muttered "I don't know" it was the truth I really don't know what happened or why I said those things.

"Ma jake look" mom pointed at faded human foot prints "let's go" he said as we started running down the shore and only stopped when it reached a wall of rocks and the foot prints stopped.

"Let's go around" mom said and they went beside them but I stood frozen staring up 'she would climb' I thought and looking for a spot to climb it was quite easy but it hurt your fingers as you held on.

I started climbing rock to rock kinda enjoying myself I looked forward and saw her "yn" I yelled out happy that I found her but I startled her making her fall.

"Fuck fuck fuck" she yelled out and I quickly ran to her side "yn" I asked hurriedly my eyes widening as I saw a crack in her mask that kept getting bigger "fuck yn where's your spare" I muttered my hands ran over her body trying to find her spare one.

"I don't have one" she murmured trying to keep calm "dad over here" I yelled out I felt as if I was gonna be sick "I-I can't neteyam" she whispered as a single tear ran down her face.

"No no please" I pleaded cradling her body in my arms "I'm so sorry" I whispered my voice cracking as I started to cry she shakily lifted up a hand to my face.

"I love you neteyam" my heart finally broke as her hand began to fall but I quickly caught it and brought it back up to my face holding it against my cheek.

"No don't do this I need you" I yelled out rocking her body back and forth "goodbye" she whispered before her mask completely shattered "no" I whaled my body shaking with sadness "please" I cried settling her body down carefully.

"I'm so sorry" I whispered removing the broken mask "I love you to" I murmured before laying a kiss on her lips

"but I fucked up".

Tag.List

@melidelagusanela

[mistfallengw2]

Done with the story, and boy howdy am I happy with this expansion~

So, let's get the easy ones out of the way: map design and music are just top notch, even more than usual. Lost count of the amount of times I got lost exploring, it's all just damn neat, and I'm not even done. Likewise, I got so many goosebumps due to the music, and now that I'm past spoilers, I'm due to sit down and properly listen to the full soundtrack. Also, sound design has always been awesome as well, and each time they move up a level.

Story was pretty damn good and DENSE with stuff for lore nerds to chew on. GW2 is back to doing what it does best, and the worldbuilding through dialogue and books has been a blessing this time around. So many of the interesting things "forgotten by the story" got addressed or aknowledged, and I kinda like that we've been out of the loop for a while even before the SotO stuff (we can't be everywhere, and that's a good thing) so that it can be done organically. The Tyrian Alliance have some of my fave dialogue (oh Dougal, hang in there buddy) and books, and MAN the hints at potential future expansions have me running up walls. Also all my homies hate Isgarren's floaty ass and I'm here for it (and for poor Frode who has to wrangle him). The investigative parts are such a pearl of writing, piecing together what happened in Gavril through texts found around the map before the bloodstone story step was SO satisfying, and in general I loved each build-up. I expected things from Waiting Sorrow, and while what I got wasn't what I expected, I love her already (you can whoop Isgarren's supposed ass, don't hold back dear). I've seen people complain about Poky being Braham 2.0, which is fair, but honestly I'm here for it and I really want the two of them to meet and be friend (even Alder thinks the same, come on!). Can't wait to dwelve in all the other collections and achievements I haven't done yet, what I got done so far has been quite fun.

Gameplay? Sure the spears are awesome, the warclaw is fun (gosh the chain-race mechanic in those story fights? Perfection.), but the events and hearts are the kind of small scale stuff that makes me adore GW2, because I like being useful to people in mundane yet meaningful ways and it makes every part of the world feel lived in. I love that they reused a ton of older minigames and event structure for the new maps, and I haven't been so "at home" in maps since Grothmar.

Speaking of homes, the Homestead... Haven't touched it much because I wanted to focus on finishing story before going away for a few days + F2 being bugged for me. Given what I've seen, I'm glad I stocked up on mats, but I'll keep doing that and leave the actual decorating to when I have a nebulous "enough". With the story done, I will not respond of the emotional damage I will soon suffer. Expect posts uncomprehensible keysmashes under screenshots, I can't promise more (might survive since emotes don't seem possible for the alts, and while sad I do know that could have slain me).

My only sore points have been mostly resolved or are known bugs, and I'm trying to make my peace with the warclaw's animation speed ruining an otherwise perfect mount.

Could ramble a lot more, but all in all? If this is what we get after the teething pains of SotO, I'm sold on all future expansions and more. (And I should probably get started with GW1, huh)

Now to think about my OCs... For sure this is a expansion all about Aurelia and Ellara with a side of Zehmik, but gotta see about the rest...

[thishazbinamistake]

*Mild spoilers*

I watched the first episode, so here are my kind of disjointed thoughts if anyone is interested in hearing them:

So first off, I thought it was okay visually. I tried to ignore the weird animation errors, like how in one scene I noticed Charlie has five fingers on one of her hands instead of her usual four, and that they never fixed that one scene where Vaggie just... disappears in the background (you know the one), because I try not to be too harsh the animators for these sorts of things. But it definitely felt amateurish in places. Other than that, Viv definitely wasn't lying when she said it looked "fine". I've seen worse, for sure.

The voice acting ranges from pretty good to honestly terrible. Stephanie sounded like she could not give less of a shit about being there, and had some weird annunciation, making her kind of hard to understand in places. I was optimistic about Keith, and he sounded great, but honestly did not fit the character of Husk very well. Charlie was actually quite good, she has a great singing voice and overall I thought Erika did a good job for her. Alastor was decent, Amir definitely did a better job than I was expecting, considering how iconic Edward's performance was in the pilot. Niffty didn't talk nearly enough in the first episode for me to even form an opinion on her voice acting, but she's fine, I guess? Katie is literally just Brandon Rogers doing his Brandon Rogers voice.

Blake was super annoying, and he did not make Angel's constant sex jokes endearing or funny in the slightest. For the record, I didn't even like pilot Angel in the first place, but now, compared to this, I'm honestly starting to miss him. And I'm not even going to touch that "this body was made to be exploited" line with a ten foot pole.

Adam, though... God, he was easily the worst part of this first episode. His surfer-dude voice was annoying as shit, and his lines were so cringeworthy. He is not an entertaining or engaging villain in the slightest. Literally, every time he was on screen I was just waiting desperately for the scene to change.

In the first episode, we hardly get any glimpse into the personalities of honestly most of the characters besides Adam and maybe Angel, which is unfortunate because they're the two most annoying characters.

With Lucifer and Lilith's backstory, in typical Vivzie fashion, Lucifer is the sad uwu boy while Lilith is treated as being the one responsible for everything. Not really surprising.

As for the writing, it's 30% boring exposition, and 70% unfunny sex jokes. Literally most of Adam's dialogue is sex related. I hate him so much it's unreal.

And the songs... they sounded fine, but they don't feel like something you would want to casually listen to on their own. They just feel like they're meant to be transitions from one scene to the next and nothing more.

For as little as we saw her, I think my favorite part of the first episode was Niffty. She's honestly a super cute and fun character, and the scenes with her were the few times I actually cracked a smile. She's such a little freak and I love her. Everyone else was either boring or made me want to shove a screwdriver in my ears.

Finally, one of the most glaring issues to me (aside from Adam) is that the show didn't really give much of a setup for what was happening. We got a little exposition about Lucifer and Lilith and the fall of man and all that, but aside from Charlie, we aren't reintroduced to any of the characters from the pilot. This feels like a really dumb move because it's alienating to new viewers. If you were someone with no knowledge of the pilot scrolling through Amazon Prime looking for a new show to watch, and Hazbin caught your eye, you'd probably get confused about who all these characters are and what it is they're actually doing, so you'd probably just click off and look for something different. It's obvious the writers just assumed that everyone watching had already seen the pilot, I guess because they think only longtime fans would be interested in the show, which is honestly really sad. You'd think they'd want to try and grow their audience more, but it just feels like they only want to pander to the people who are already fans, which feels like a bad desicion from both a storytelling standpoint as well as a business one. A show, especially one that migrated from an internet pilot to a full series on a paid streaming platform, should be able to stand on its own two legs without needing the pilot to do all the explaining. Especially considering the designs and voice actors changing between the pilot and the series. I didn't expect them to completely remake the pilot, but they could have at least done a better job establishing the characters.

All in all, episode one was at best a 5/10. Like I said, I've seen far worse but this just felt like a bad note to start this all off on. For newcomers, it's confusing and downright unappealing, and for longtime fans it's just disappointing. I can really only see diehard Vivzie fans getting a ton of enjoyment out of it.

Still need to watch episode two, maybe things will improve from there.

[dr-xanders-diary]

Our beginning.. The END..

God, how I wish things were back to normal. We've had 9 run-ins' since we first started to see each other. I know, that's a lot. But, I've handled myself well, with each one. But now things have become much more complicated, difficult even. How did things turn out like this? Well. It's simple really. Lets go through how the events unfolded, in order. Shall we?

After we set up our engagement party and started to plan our wedding we slowly began to lose touch with each other, well. You started to lose touch with us. Despite that though, we enjoyed as much time as we had together, between the planning, working and moving in to a three bedroom home. We were-, well busy. Maybe too busy for your liking. And as time went on, as our wedding date got closer, you-. You began to drift away. I knew it would happen, so I let you have your time to collect yourself, and did my best to reel you back in. To make you happy again.

You were finding joy in your little trips overseas more than when you were with me, despite you living out your wildest fantasies with me. A part of me was jealous, a part of me despised that. A part of me hated that. You being happy without me? Hah. Right, that's when I realized there was more to your little trips overseas. Why they became more frequent, why you started to go alone, why you and Stacy weren't as close anymore and there was a wall of tension between you. I knew what was happening: to begin with, you aren't exactly the most careful person. Especially in the little details. Your secrets aren't so secretive, my dear. But it's okay, I forgave you, because you still planned to marry me, right. Right? Fuck, of course you planned to, how could I doubt you. I know you.

Each time you came home from your trips you were tired, distant, cold, especially on the first day back. You'd warm up again the second day being home, after each trip. I was fine with this, I was content as long as you were coming home, coming home to me. Nothing else mattered. I didn't mind you relieving your stress on your little trips. Really I didn't.

Our wedding came and went, it was beautiful, it was perfect, your perfect day. Several of our guests cried, congratulated us, even Stacy showed up. During the reception she came up to me with a sad look in her eye, she tried to hide it behind her kind smile, but I could tell. She placed her hand on my shoulder with as soft as a pat as she could muster and said, "Congratulations ****** (X), I know you'll treat ***(you) right. I-.. hope ***(you) knows what they have. I don't think ***(you) knows just how lucky s/he is. You're a good man ******(X)". An honest to god genuine compliment, which hardly came from anyone in your friend group, and having known Stacy, I knew she meant it from the bottom of her heart. She seemed so pained when she spoke, so-, torn. I knew why. She only gave you a soft smile before the end of the night and you two didn't exchange any words. Your father was so overjoyed that you married "Such a good man", in his words. His toast to us was even quite beautiful as well.

We spent our honeymoon overseas, in Italy, and at first you were very upset that I would bring you there, but I knew, this was your favorite place to be. You thought it came down to pure coincidence didn't you? The location, the hotel, the room. Yes you were riddled with panic, with guilt and paranoia at first. But I-, I wanted to override your memories of that hotel, of that room, of that very city, and all of Italy. I wanted to wipe your conscious of what you thought you did in the dark behind my back. Do not ever forget, you are mine. We are bonded, my love. We wrote it in stone. It's in our vows. And I will make sure, that you will always be mine.

And this brings us close to date. Since then, it's been; 5 years, 7 months, 15 days, 10 hours, and 15 seconds. Now I know that you've been sneaking around, going on 'Business trips', going back to your favorite little problem. It's becoming an issue for us, darling. I forgave you, I still forgive you even. As long as you come home to me. I knew it would be a hard habit to break-. Because you get swept up, so easily. You can't even tell the danger you are in. And then, it happened. The worst thing that could happen to us. The worst thing you could do to us. You brought a slimy bastard into our life, you introduced us. I tried. Oh did I try to be nice, I tried to play nice. I am trying so very hard, but how could you bring this man into our home, where we sleep, where we live. How dare you.

From then I knew you were sneaking around, at hotels, his hotel room. That you paid for. I found out-, you loved him. You-, you loved him more than me, and you wanted to get rid of me. And I snapped. You wanted to be rid of me? The only person who truly loves you, the only person who went through such great lengths to get you, to know you down to the smallest detail, the one who went through such great lengths to keep you. No. No no no, no. You're confused, you don't really love him. You just love how spontaneous he is, how he doesn't seem to have a care, because things seem so easy for him, but he has nothing. He is nothing. You just can't see it.

So.. Let me show you.

I took my time preparing everything for him, for you. I lined the bed with some very durable plastic under the comforter, and lined the room floor with some as well, just to make sure there's no surprise messes. And I sat and waited, for your usual routine, you'd both show up at 5:45pm, on the dot, never any sooner or any later. But you didn't two didn't show up. "Where are you? It's getting dark." Things were seemingly out of my control, I waited an entire hour. Then checked my phone, saw in my notification you sent your location.

You- pinged me? You're at home.. But why? Today is your day with Antoni. And you know that I'm supposed to be out of town-. Oh. You dirty bitch. You brought him to our home didn't you.

I immediately began to roll up and folded all of the plastic covers I had laid out, cleaning up and putting away everything into my duffle bag. I left the hotel room duffle bag in hand, I made sure to leave not a single trace of me behind. I got into my car and drove home as calmly as I could. I parked on the street nearest our driveway, as I got out I could see dim lights from our upstairs bedroom, flickering behind the curtain. And a dim light from our family room, by now the sun was beginning to set, it was already 7:34pm. I walked to our front door, it was locked, I went to the back door around the house, you two left it unlocked. You snuck him in. I made my way inside looking into the kitchen, there was two plates of half eaten food, a half empty bottle of wine on the counter. Walking past, looking into the family room I saw two half drunken glasses of wine on our coffee table.

What the fuck babe. Did you have fun wining this man in our home?

As I made my way to the first steps of the stairs, I heard it, the sound of your voice, a soft chuckle, followed by his voice and his thick Italian accent, "Are you sure it's okay? Why don't we run away together my love". As I slowly made my way up the steps I could hear the slow creaking of our bed, you two were fucking-, and then I hear you say it, "Don't worry Antoni, I don't love him anymore, you're the only one I love" then, hearing you say that made something inside me snap. As you two continued to defile our home, our bed, I had made my way up the stairs into the hall only to see our bedroom door wide open. Antoni laying atop of you, bare as he place gaze into your beautiful eyes. I knew how he felt, like he had stolen something prized, but he didn't actually care about how I would feel, those were just false sympathies to save his face. But he would care, very soon.

The time between those moments of my standing in the doorway of our bedroom and hearing you shout when you saw me, blended together. Filled with rage, and resentment as you tried to cover yourself as if I hadn't seen you naked before, as if you were ashamed. As Antoni got up from the bed as if he just wanted to talk-, none of it mattered. I would show you what did matter, though. The moments blurred as I stomped towards Antoni, and clenched my fist as I swung my right arm, the knuckles of my fist roughly hitting against his cheekbone and breaking the skin. The hit to him made him stumble back a bit. This well toned, 5'10" Italian man, caught himself against the bed, glaring at me with just as much hate as I had for him.

Time seemed to blur as we would hit each other over and over, and push each other against the furniture in the bedroom. Our fighting, our thrashing causing us to make our way into the hall, you hurriedly put on some clothes as you followed and shouted. Antoni grabbed me and pulled me into a headlock, I'd jab and punch at his sides, pushing him against the stair rail as he tried to choke me out. Slowly losing my breathe before the impact of slamming him into the stair rail caused his grip to loosen and set me free, but made us lose our balance as we'd fall down the stairs. Falling down onto the landing, a vase would fall and shatter beside him, the wind almost knocked out of both of us from the fall. I kicked Antoni's hip as hard as I could, the kick forcing him down the rest of the stairs, he grabbed onto my pant leg, and I grabbed a shard of the broken vase as I was pulled down the steps.

Landing a few steps above Antoni as he slowly got onto his knees, screaming obscenities at me, I would get up and shove the vase shard into his back right along his shoulder. My hands cut by the shard in my hand as I forced it into his muscles. "How dare you come into my home, and fuck my partner, in my bed" the words almost came out with as much hatred and gravel as a scream. He swung his arm at me, hitting me across my lower abdomen as I went to grab him by his hair, only to roughly slam him into the wall against his back. Splattering blood onto the wall. We fought for what seemed like eternity, and you got into the mix trying to get us apart, we both hit you. By the end of it all I was a sweating panting mess, and Antoni was crawling toward the garage to escape, bruised, scratched, and stabbed. I stomped my boot down as hard as I could against the vase shard in his back, shoving it in deeper into the muscle and bone causing the shard to shatter, making him cry out. I kneeled down and grabbed his thick black hair and yanked his head back as he begged to go home.

Fucking coward.

"You wont be going anywhere-, neither of you will," my voice came out as a horse whisper as I reached my free hand down to firmly grip onto Antoni's jaw, his eyes widened as he realized what I had meant and began to scream. An almost sweet sound to my ears before the sudden silence as I jerked his head accompanied with a quick snapping sound of bones, his body going from tense to limp in a matter of seconds. Bruised, tired and full of rage fueled me further as you'd scream and shout, calling me obscenities and as you called me a monster. And then everything.. went dark.

.

.

.

.

.

.

"It's been several months-, no.. it's been a year since our wedding and 7 months since our anniversary. Who would have thought that things would have come down to this. I would have thought that our honeymoon in Italy would have solidified things for you, would have erased those dirty memories from your mind, and replaced them with our time together. Did I not please you enough? Was I not as spontaneous as you would have liked?" I had grabbed you and shoved you onto your back under your lover. You had fought me hard, and couldn't answer me as you cried as I wrapped Antoni's lifeless hands around your neck, slowly squeezing. "You want to leave me, and leave with him, go right ahead be my guest.." You scratched and hit at my arms, and scratched at Antoni's face as you began to slowly choke and loose your breathe. Terrified to die by your dead lovers hands, and by my own in turn.

It's not so fun being choked outside of the bedroom now is it?

Finally we cut off your breathing completely, crushing your windpipe with Antoni's hands. Your eyes filled with tears and the look of fear as life slowly left your eyes and your body went limp, your arms slowly falling to your side. I spent a few minutes gathering and putting on Antoni's clothes and tearing them up a bit where you had scratched and where I hit and stabbed. The candles in the bedroom had began to set the curtains aflame in our bedroom. I had limited time to gather anything I wanted, so I only gathered the important things, things I'd need.

By the time the police came, our house was set aflame, and the fire department was trying to contain the fire. I was questioned and by my looks the officers concluded I had suffered a severe break in to my home. As I sat against my car watching our house, our life, our memories burn down despite the fire departments best efforts, I also watched our history and everything that had ever happened between us, and what happened that night burn down too.

"A simple phrase could have made everything better.."

Over the next few weeks I would be brough into the police department for my statement, your family and friends would reach out to give condolences. Your funeral came and went, the hotel refunded the money from the hotel you had paid for, for Antoni. One friend, Stacy stopped by when she couldn't get a hold of me, when I'd sit in our old driveway. She would find me and sit with me for a few hours, in silence as I would stare at the burned down remains of what we had. Until one day Stacy patted me on the back and told me, "It shouldn't have ended like this. But you're a good guy X*******. You'll be okay". She had no clue what actually happened but her words rang through me. I sat there long after she left, I thought I was a monster but something in me clicked, when Stacy had told me that. Maybe Stacy was right, maybe I am a good guy, but maybe I also am a monster. I stood from my car and walked up to the charcoaled rubble of our old house, giving a last goodbye.

I never did get to recover much from the fire, your father was devastated, your family was broken, and your friends were in shambles. And as I got into my car and began to drive away, I looked at our house one last time.

This was our end.

And I loved you..

To the very end.

[heartfullofleeches]

since it's pin time

i wish they'd embrace their monstrous self

could you write anything involving pin just being who they are and reader vibing with it?

Poor pin, wanna give them a hug and a kith kith

"Are you sure this is what you really want, Y/n?"

You hold the oversized doll's hands in yours, reassuring them for the billionth time that afternoon. After discovering the doll wasn't just a toy when their disguise got torn, you were surprisingly okay with it. You always knew there had to be more to them than meets the eye.

During that time, Pin had reverted to a shell of their cheerful self - their true self. The creature that hated itself and knew it had no place next to you. They kept up their bright facade when in your presence, but the sadness that surrounds them is palpable. You didn't want this for them. Not someone who cared so much for you and did everything to make sure they could stay by your side.

"Yes. Just think about it, Pin. Wouldn't it be nice to touch me with your own hands? I'm sure you can feel their warmth, but it'd be so much better without this layer of fabric in the way, wouldn't it?

Doubt rains supreme in their heart, but they can't deny that they haven't dreamt of that scenario before. "..Alright."

Pin pulls their hands from your grasp. They reach overhead, pulling down a zipper on their back. Shadows peel from the gaping hole that make up their shoulders and neck; tendrils of smoke forming from behind their plush head as they remove it from form. They weave together in an shapeless mass, glowing white eyes spread through their reach like fruits on a tree. Pin pulls the suit down from their arms, and down to their waist; fingertips pointed in thin claws.

"Well." They start, voice echoing through the farthest reaches of your mind. "This is me. Pin, or DollMaker, as I've been called in the past."

You take their hands in yours once more, soot coating your fingers. "You're beautiful."

And with those two words, Pin falls apart. They draw close, lips connecting with yours from somewhere within the small tornado that was their face. They kiss you tenderly, your lips lucky tainted with the same dark color as your hands, but in that moment neither of you care. They just want to feel you - every part thats there to offer. The love they bare overshadows any of their self doubts; a powerful drug of which high they never wanted to lose.

They finally part as your lungs scream for air, cupping your face in their soft hands." I've always looked for a reason behind my existence and it seems that you're it."

[peachymilkandcream]

Break Me Slowly|Part 14|Yandere Levi x Evelyn

(A/N: Part of me has been avoiding this simply because I'm a dub watcher so I haven't seen the new episode and I've been kinda avoiding social media to not get even more spoiled than I've already been. However, degenerate Levi and Evelyn cannot wait! Also hit up my inbox I am in such a writing mood help me out!)

WARNINGS: noncon, dubcon, manipulation, domestic abuse, yandere themes, forced marriage, forced pregnancy, stockholm syndrome, violence, mind breaking, misogyny, etc.

================================================

The candles were dimmed as the end of the day drew near. Poor sweet Levi just continually worked himself to the bone, and without his wife nearby to keep him in check he was pushing himself to the limits. His loneliness had gotten the better of him, which is exactly what Petra had hoped for, especially when she enters his office.

Immediately the smell of alcohol hits her, the whole room assaults her nose with it. Petra wasn't sure if his blushing bride new about his bad habit, granted, he had really cut down after marriage but clearly he needed a woman's touch to keep him in check. Her footsteps are silent as she creeps up to him, his head was down on the desk asleep, never had she seen him so peaceful. Her fingers caressed his cheek, trying to wake him up as softly as possible.

Being the light sleeper he always was Levi woke easily, stretching to loosen his shoulders. Petra was shocked to see him in this state, Levi prided himself in being well kept and professional. It looked like he hadn't slept in days, his dark circles more prominent. Stubble lined his jawline, a rare occurrence for the man who hated facial hair since he deemed it "unhygienic". His clothes were wrinkled and he stunk of liquor. What had happened to the Captain she knew and loved? How could one woman reduce him to such a sad state? Rage burned within her as she thought about how much Levi had suffered since Evelyn left.

"Oh, Petra, it's you. I guess I fell asleep. Don't worry I'm going home." He starts to stand when she pushes him back down into his chair, he stares at her in confusion, not expecting this. "Excuse me?"

"Oh Captain.." She laces her voice with charm and suggestive tones. "You poor thing, you look absolutely worn out..." Reaching behind him, Petra gently rubs his shoulders.

Levi frowns and twists out of her grip. "I'm fine thank you. I'll just head home and rest."

She giggles, trailing her fingers along his sleeve, working her way up to his chin and circling his ear. "You're so tense Levi, and lonely...my heart goes out to you, and I feel like I have to help..."

"I appreciate your concern Petra, but really I'm fine. It's been a rough week but I'll make it."

She pushes past him and sits on the desk in front of him, her legs parted just enough for him to see the fabric of her panties. Much to her annoyance he glances and then bounces his eyes away.

"Get off my desk." He states plainly.

She throws her head back to laugh, exaggerating it enough to try and give him the hint. He was so adorably dense sometimes he didn't even know how much she wanted him. "Come on Levi, don't be like that."

"For the last time, Captain."

Petra bites her lip. "Captain~" Her tone is sultry and she bats her eyelashes at him.

"Better. Now off my desk."

"Or what? Are you going to punish me?" Oh how does she hope he does, he seems like the type to get a kick out of that.

Levi sneers slightly, not liking her tone at all, and dressed the way she was, he should get out of here before she gets the wrong idea. "I think it's time for me to leave." He tries to be at least semi-polite, she did work hard enough for him she deserved some respect.

As he stands to leave, Petra acts immediately, wrapping her arms around him and pressing her lips to his. Fireworks in her head explode, her dreams coming true, his lips were even softer than she thought. Truly Evelyn didn't deserve to have this slice of heaven every day, and Petra bet she didn't even appreciate it like she should.

However all of her high hopes would come crashing down as Levi aggressively pushed her off, sending her back on the desk. The look in his eyes was different, he seemed, different. She had seen him angry before, but never with this level of rage. Face to face with his wrath she understood how some Scouts quietly transferred to the Garrison regiment after having a run in with the ruthless Captain.

"How dare you- What could have possibly possessed you in thinking it would be already to assault me like this!?"

Now she's the one scrambling for answers, a way somehow to calm him down. "You seemed really lonely, I thought I could give you some comfort-"

"Do I need your fucked up version of "comfort"?! What part of 'I'm a married man" don't you understand you stupid bitch!" His eyes were glaring with hate as he inched towards her.

Petra started to tear up, never had Levi treated her with such aggression and coldness, he had never taken it this far. What had she done to deserve this treatment after all the things she'd done for him? Evelyn had changed him, surely that was the reason why they both had started acting differently after that fucking wedding.

"You're not yourself Levi, you're just lashing out because you're needy, you haven't been the same since your wedding I thought things were going wrong-"

"You're even more stupid than I thought." He continues his advance, the veins in his hands bulging out of his skin. "I have never been better since marrying that woman. Do you hear me? The best fucking thing I ever did was decide that girl was mine. You think I could want you over her? She is perfection you scum. I want a woman who will fight me tooth and nail while I hold her down and fuck her until she looses feeling than a whining lapdog. You get that Petra? You're nothing but shit under my boot, I kept you around because you do your job well. But apparently you lack an ounce of common sense that would think I'd take your loose cunt over my wife's. The fact you thought I was low enough to be unfaithful to my wife is the highest form of an insult. You disgust me." He pushes past her. "Now get out of my way."

As he walks out of his office Petra watched him wipe his mouth with the back of sleeve and spit onto the ground. That was what he thought of her kiss, it was revolting. Little did she know all this would cause was Levi throwing his weight around so Erwin would agree to up the extraction date and bring his wife home.

Hurt, rage, grief all filled her. She knew now that any chance of having Levi was gone so long as Evelyn was alive. Part of her admired him for being so true to his marriage, but the sting of rejection was still prevalent. Lost in her own thoughts she barely recognizes the solution until it presents itself in her head again. That was it, as long as Evelyn was alive. If she fixed that problem, then it would level the playing field. That was what she had to do, eliminate the problem.

=============================================

Peace in the Braun household was shaky at best, she was one of them sure, but still an island devil, Evelyn supposed in time that would opinion would change. Although that was never the real purpose of her mission, while the surprise pregnancy had thrown a wrench into it, she still had a job to do. It wasn't about them liking her, it was about them trusting her enough to wander around and hopefully find Eren so she would at least have something to report back.

Her room was really Reiner's, him being the gentleman and offering to sleep on the floor downstairs to make sure she was comfortable. The first night was the worst since she could barely sleep, always thinking she heard Levi's footsteps on the stairs or him moving in the shadows of the dark. A good portion of the annoyance her fellow housemates felt was no doubt attributed to her screaming in the night when it felt like the shadows were reaching for her.

She was ashamed, but more often than not these nights ended with Reiner checking on her and him sleeping on the floor beside the bed by her request. Evelyn couldn't help but feel guilty, despite everything she was married, and while their marriage was hell her thoughts conflicted as far as if what she was doing was adultery. However the fear that gripped her every night soon outweighed her doubts of what Levi would think.

Truthfully, she had deluded herself into thinking that she would just never find Eren and have to remain here. While freedom was limited due to her Eldian blood at least it was existent. She was no longer imprisoned in that forsaken house, left to the scorn of the staff and Levi's whims. Her taste of freedom was precious and treasured, she hoped he never came back. If she deluded herself in this she could do the same for when the child was born, delude herself into thinking it was someone else's. Maybe she could have a half decent rest of her life.

It had now been a few weeks since Evelyn had come to Marley, she felt that if anyone, Reiner trusted her. Whether it was guilt over the past or something different she wasn't sure. She found herself in the quiet wondering what would have happened if she came back with Reiner and Bertholdt all those years ago, he had a boyish crush on her back then, he was older now, would anything have come of it? He was sweet and handsome and treated her with respect, something that was in short supply these days. When he caught her looking at him like this, he'd blush and look away, the delusion slipping more and more.

She had come to know his world, the world he grew up in, the one that told him to do the horrible things he had done. Reiner was the enemy, but she forgave him, he needed that, he so desperately needed that. When she had told him he broke down into childish sobs, desperately asking why, how could she forgive him for everything? In honesty, Evelyn had no idea how, but she did, she understood him, felt sorry for him. It seemed like it was only natural.

Reiner had trusted her with being in his home, and eventually introducing him to his closest family and comrades. Seeing the look of joy in his face when she interacted with them warmed her frozen over heart. Her delusion was stronger than ever, forgetting about the horrors awaiting her at home. Maybe this could be home, Levi gone forever, Erwin gone forever, everyone, she could be free. This ideal life, happy with someone who could really take care of her, of two who could take care of each other. They were the same, broken and naive once. They had both been punished for the sins, what was the shame in living on from that?

Evelyn forgot about her mission, she forgot about Eren, to hell with all of them. They had left her in her time of need to that monster the law called her husband. Paradis could burn to the ground for all she cared. No one rescued her, why should she rescue them? Flatten the place and Levi with it, maybe then she'd finally feel safe. So when Falco had mentioned bringing Reiner to meet an old friend of his the thought of the past coming back to haunt her never crossed her mind. She simply watched the show, blissfully oblivious to the scene just below the stage.

But when Gabi had offhandedly mentioned that they had been gone a while she felt a trickle of cold sweat on the back of her neck, that familiar fear of Levi sending chills down her spine. It was impossible, he was hundreds of miles away, hopefully rotting in a jail cell, he couldn't be here, he wouldn't be here. She was letting her paranoia get the better of her again. She was safe, nothing could hurt her, no one was coming to get her.

These were the last thoughts to cross her mind before the eruption, the sound of screams and terror, the bright lights, the gunshots. There was panic, chaos, everyone trying to run away from the fifteen meter Titan slaughtering all of them where they stood. Evelyn could only sit there and watch as she was blindly tugged along by someone she didn't care to recognize.

Dumbfounded she trudged along, eyes glued to the scene. It was when she caught the look of those eyes, those damned eyes did terror come over her. Levi's eyes met hers, recognition filling them, the way he was motioning for her, he was telling her to go to safety and he would come find her. Only as he flew off to rejoin the carnage could Evelyn recognize exactly what that chilling feeling was.

It was the feeling of her delusion shattering around her.

[hahnspoetrywrites]

I Love You, I'm Glad I Exist (Abbey Smith (Misfits) x fem!reader)

A/N: i love abbey with my heart and soul and she deserves all the happiness in the world

Warnings: mentions of SA, violence, blood, kissing, dirtbag drunk man at the bar, jess and alex being a bit insensitive (mainly jess), please let me know if i've missed any!!!

Word Count: 4.6k (i'm so sorry it's a longer one)

AO3

Whenever you were all at the bar Abbey always sat next to you, arm wrapped behind you as you leant against her. This was usually what happened when the community service gang hung out.  Rudy was usually chatting about some random woman he got with, Finn was usually pining after Jess, Jess was always after Alex the bar man, but you were happy cuddled up next to Abbey. You were never sure if she knew you’d liked her or not (heck, you weren’t even sure if she liked women) but you’d always savour this time with her. She never complained, if anything sometimes she’d pull you closer. Her hand sometimes caressed your hip, sometimes your shoulder, sometimes your arm. The second you’d all leave the bar, however, she’d leave without so much as a goodbye. It always stung, no matter how hard you tried to deny it. 

Tonight had started out no differently than any other. You guys had moved to frequent your usual booth as one member ordered drinks. Abbey seemed more distant today, choosing to sit away from you on the opposite side of the booth. You took a deep breath. It doesn’t sting, it doesn't sting, you thought to yourself repeatedly. Rudy eyed you cautiously. He knew your power all too well. 

You could share your emotions with people through touch and in turn, feel other people's emotions. You could sense their emotions from a distance but when you touched them, it became intense. You weren’t the best at opening up before the storm, bottling up as much as you could. But post-storm… it got so much worse. When your ex tried to touch you after weeks of avoiding it, they went flying into the kitchen table, your fear getting the best of you as they touched your cheek. Safe to say they didn’t come anywhere near you after that. You made a conscious effort to avoid touch, or any sort of attachment for that matter. The community service team somehow wormed their way into your heart, after you’d spent months avoiding as many people as possible. One member in particular had your heart, but you wouldn’t let them get too close. Your worst fear was hurting anyone else you loved, you’d lost enough people because of this power, you wouldn’t lose any more. 

Only Rudy knew what your power really was. Rudy made the mistake of touching your bare arm when you were deeply upset and you accidentally sent him flying into the mirrors in the community centre’s locker room. You had to hide it, which meant suppressing your true feelings about everything. Your anger, sadness, anxiety, joy, happiness. You always hid it, the happier emotions tended to slip away but the negative ones continued to boil and bubble. You very rarely let go and released them.

Rudy shuffled up closer, accidentally brushing his arm against your bare forearm as he did so, making him shudder. 

“You need to deal with all that at some point. Can’t keep bubbling it up, it’ll hurt that beautiful noggin of yours.” Rudy whispered, he always had a way with words, but this was sweet. He did truly care about you. He hated seeing you hurting in any way. 

“I’ll be fine Rudy, I promise. I don’t wanna talk about it,” You tried to keep your voice level, but you struggled when you noticed Abbey staring at a guy at the bar. You didn’t want to assume because that was never fair, but she’d never spoken about women in any way that made you think she’d like them. Her eyes travelled down his entire body, taking in his figure. You felt sick to your stomach. Why did you always fall for people who would never like you back?

The drinks hitting the table pulled you away from your thoughts, Finn sitting on the other side of you. He grimaced at your facial expression before pushing a beer in front of you. 

“What’s got you all miserable?” Finn asked, just as Abbey left the table, approaching the man at the bar. 

“Oh. That.” Finn remarked as he took a swig from his beer.

“I don’t get why you like her so much.” Jess commented, they never really got along, but that was not your business. 

“Jess, it’s true love! You can’t deny something like true love. It’s sacrilege… or at least it’s illegal.” Rudy explained, saving you from having to explain your feelings. Rudy turned to face you and winked not-so-subtly. Jess rolled her eyes. Abbey disappeared with the bloke at the bar, making your stomach tighten once more. 

“It’s alright babe,” Rudy tried to comfort you but it was no use. You’d have to accept she was never going to like you. You didn’t see her for most of the night, sitting in the same spot as everyone moved around, mingling with other people, maybe even leaving with them like Abbey had. You didn’t have the energy to mingle with people, holding all your anger and sadness was starting to become unbearable. 

“Now, what’s a pretty thing like you sitting here all alone?” A tall man approached your table, his smile slightly sinister as he took a seat without asking. 

“I’m here with friends.” You replied swiftly, not wanting to entertain him. 

“Well, I don’t see them. I think they left you, sweetheart.” His tone was condescending, giving a little smirk in your direction. You looked around for anyone in your group when your eyes landed on Rudy, who was still here and, for once, not flirting with a girl. 

“Rudy!” You called, grateful he was still here. He glided over, sliding in next to you before elbowing your side gently. 

“You alright, cherub?” He was drunk, you could tell. He only got more inventive with nicknames after a few. 

“Who’s this cheeky chappie?” He leaned forward, extending his hand to shake the man’s.

“Jake. And you are?” He looked annoyed and you smirked internally. 

“I am Rudy. The great and incredible Rudy. Here to offer and provide my services.” He shook Jake’s hand vigorously until he pulled his hand away forcefully. 

“Man’s got some grip!” Rudy exclaimed before laughing wildly. You noticed out of the corner of your eye, Abbey had returned to the bar but you didn’t spare her a proper glance as she walked right past the table and over to where Jess was chatting to Alex. 

“I’m gonna get a drink.” You blurted out, interrupting whatever story Rudy was telling Jake. Jake stood immediately, offering to get you a drink. You declined politely, not wanting him anywhere near you. You squeezed past Rudy and walked over to the bar, leaning against it when Abbey noticed you. She approached you warily, her clothed arm touching your bare one slightly. You yanked your arm away, making her sigh in annoyance. 

“Who shoved a stick up your arse today then, huh?” Abbey remarked, rolling her eyes when you scoffed. 

“I don’t have a stick up my arse, thank you very much.” You couldn’t bring yourself to look at her, feeling your stomach doing flips at an alarming speed. 

“You’ve been giving me dirty looks all evening, you barely spoke to me during community service today, you don’t seem to be paying attention to me unless I’m with a guy. Not to mention you’ve barely touched any of your drinks. Rudy’s been drinking them all according to Jess. Babe, you know you can talk to me, right?” Abbey tried her best at sounding sincere but it came off as condescending. 

“I’m alright, thanks for the offer though, babe. “ Your anger began radiating off of you at an alarming level. You had to leave. You pushed past Abbey and out of the bar, feeling the cold air hit your bare arms and face, your skin immediately reacting. You rounded the corner down the alley to catch your breath. You heard the bar door open and close, praying it wasn’t Abbey. 

“Hey, I saw you leave… Are you okay?” It was Jake. He approached you, boxing you in against the wall of the bar. One of his hands braced the wall next to your head, the other almost touching your face. 

“I-I Yeah. I just- I just need some space. Please.” You tried to remain calm but he was too close for comfort. You could feel his hot breath against your cheek as you tried to pull yourself away but he had you trapped.

“I think you owe me an apology. You weren’t very nice to me back there, you’ve been eyeing me all night, you can’t deny.” He pressed you up against the wall with his body, his thigh sliding itself between your legs. You squirmed, trying to push him off of you but you had no strength against him. You hadn’t even seen him before he sat down, you didn’t want to chat or get to know anyone. 

“Stop. Stop! Get off me!” He just pushed you into the wall harder, feeling the brick wall’s harsh surface against your back. 

“I don’t think so.” His hand found your hair and pulled harshly, exposing your throat for him to bite and kiss roughly. You wanted to scream, to cry, to do something but you knew you’d risk losing control if you did. As his lips touched your skin you could feel his anger, his resentment towards your unofficial rejection. His desire to overpower you. It made you want to vomit. His thigh began moving between your legs, creating unwanted friction. 

“I can feel how desperate you are, god you are pathetic. Such a pathetic little whore.” He slammed his thigh against your core painfully, making you whimper. The hand bracing the wall moved down your body, moving towards the hem of your jeans. As his hands moved to undo the button, you could hear the bar door open. 

“Keep quiet.” He whispered against your cheek. He attempted to kiss you but you pulled your head away violently. His hand wrapped around your throat and squeezed, making you cough. 

Someone began to walk round, recognising the sound of Abbey’s boots, you prayed she’d find you. 

“Babe, can we talk? I think we…” As she walked round the corner, her eyes narrowed and her nostrils flared. She was furious, and you hoped it wasn’t aimed at you.

“What the fuck?” She glared at you incredulously. 

“Ab-Abbey please. Pl-please-” He squeezed tighter, making her wheeze painfully. 

“I thought you were different. I really did.” Abbey continued to berate you, approaching you slowly. 

“Turns out you’re a whore like the rest of us.” Abbey’s eyes held a glimmer of heartbreak, of sadness and you couldn’t hold it in. You screamed in pain when he began to touch you, the raw power of your emotions sending him flying across the pavement, landing on the floor with a painful thump. You fell to your knees as your screams died down, collapsing down into the pavement and letting the darkness take over momentarily.

You felt blinding hot pain sear through your body as you regained consciousness, making you writhe in pain as you returned to your own body. Your breathing was rapid and uneven, your eyes were clamped shut. You just exploded in front of Abbey. God, you could’ve hurt her, killed her even! Your pain was the least of your worries at that moment. You could hear grunting and groaning, someone yelling but it was distant. The blinding pain began to slowly subside, allowing you to refocus on what was going on. You slowly opened your eyes, feeling Rudy’s hand against your hair as he smiled at you. 

“Abbey! She’s awake.” He called out, you tried to speak but no sounds came out apart from quiet squeaks. Abbey rushed over, the panic in her eyes evident as she came into view. 

“Hey, hey, it’s okay. I’m sorry that I said those things to you but you needed to blow and it was the only way I could get you to react, I’m sorry.” Abbey’s hand caressed your hair softly. 

“It’s okay,” You croaked. You sat up slowly, Abbey’s hands immediately moving to guide you upwards.

“He’s only unconscious, he should be okay. You’re lucky there’s CCTV here. They can see everything.” Rudy pointed out and you nodded. You didn’t really care about CCTV at that moment. You couldn’t stop staring at where that man’s body laid unconscious. You nearly killed Abbey. You hadn’t noticed Abbey’s hand moving to hold yours, allowing her to feel what you were feeling, to know every detail of your emotions. She gasped at the intensity of everything but shared it with you, feeling your shoulders get lighter as her other hand moved to stroke your hair.

“Hey, hey… Look at me.” Abbey’s voice was calm, gentle as your eyes shifted from the unconscious body to Abbey’s familiar blueish-grey eyes. 

“I’m here, babe. I’m here.” Abbey made an effort to block your vision of where he laid as Jess and Finn walked out of the bar. 

“Oh fuck.” Jess’ voice was loud and brash as she observed the scene and Abbey turned to give her a disapproving look. 

“So she’s the only one out of all of us who has a power actually worth having? Fuck, that’s so annoying.” Jess walked towards the unconscious man and laughed, kicking his leg to see if he’d wake up. 

“Jess, shut the fuck up.” Abbey snapped.

“Yeah, Jess. Girls just been through the worst and you wanna mock her? Bit insensitive, that!” Rudy and Jess began to bicker as Abbey turned to look back at you, seeing tears gathering in your eyes. You looked down, noticing her hand which was holding yours had bloodied knuckles, the skin slowly turning purple with bruises. You couldn’t stop your tears from falling and noticed one landing on her bruised skin. The hand caressing your hair moved to wrap around your shoulders, pulling you into Abbey’s body tightly as you began to cry. You wrapped your arms around Abbey, pulling your hand out of Abbey’s to cling to her tightly. Abbey gently shushed your muffled cries as you buried your face in her chest. 

“I’ve got you, baby. I’m not going anywhere, it’s alright.” You could feel her lips press against your head, featherlight as she held you close. Jess, Finn and Rudy continued to bicker, but Abbey was more worried about getting you out of here. 

It was too loud for you, their arguing was hurting your head and making you cry more. Abbey could feel it, she could feel how tense and upset you were, your distress building up in her body. She was unsure how much she would feel, if it was only fragments or if it was wholly transmitted through your touch. She wouldn’t ask now, it wasn’t the right time. 

“Will you let me take you home, baby?” Abbey asked, feeling you nod against her chest as one of your ears settled against her chest. 

“I’m going to cover your ears. Need to tell these knobheads to shut up.” You nodded once more as her hand moved to cover your other ear. Their arguing muffled, her warm hand cupping the ear not pressed against her chest. You squeezed your eyes tightly as Abbey began yelling at the other three, but remembered you were safe in her arms. 

“OI! Would you lot shut the fuck up? Your arguing isn't helping her and you’re making her feel worse,” they all fell silent, noticing you shaking in Abbey’s arms and Abbey’s own angry demeanour, “I’m going to take her home and make sure she’s okay.”

You felt her hand come away from your ear as she removed herself from you. You couldn’t stop yourself from whimpering slightly at her pulling away but she was quick to stand, offering you a hand to pull you up. As you stood, your legs were shaky but Abbey was quick to wrap an arm around your waist. Her lips found your temple as the others mumbled half hearted apologies towards you (apart from Rudy, who was genuinely sorry and worried about you).

Abbey began walking away with you close by when Rudy rushed up behind them. 

“Uh… Could you, like, let me know when you get back safe please? And Abbey, don’t leave her alone tonight, yeah? She’s gonna need someone there for her and I think you’re the best one to be there,” Rudy tried to be sincere but missed the mark.

“I will, Rudy, don’t worry. I think I need to have a chat with her when we get back anyway.” Abbey smiled at you sweetly but you couldn’t bring yourself to look at her. She was probably going to reject you once you got back to your flat. Rudy handed Abbey your small bag too, making sure all your belongings were there before you both set off. 

Abbey was gentle the entire walk back, her hand on your waist distracting you from any other thoughts trying to permeate your brain. It was soft but firm, her thumb stroking softly. Your flat was a 15 minute walk away from the bar you all frequented, but it felt like 2 seconds with Abbey. The moment you entered your home she let go of your waist, turning on lights and helping you remove your shoes by the doorway before removing her own. Your apartment was small. The kitchen and living room combined in one space, with a small bathroom and slightly bigger bedroom. It wasn't amazing, but it was home. Abbey admired the decorations as she guided you to your sofa, smiling at how it already felt like home to her. It felt so perfectly and completely you, it felt safe to her.  

“Can I make you some tea or something?” You asked her, trying to be a good host. As Abbey sat you down, she exhaled a laugh. 

“Sweetheart, don’t you worry about me. I’ll make us some tea, yeah?” Abbey’s hand cupped your cheek, pressing a soft kiss against your skin before walking to the kitchen. 

She felt electrified when her lips touched your bare skin. It was warm, soft, and full of deep love. Love you’d hidden from her for far too long. As she made tea, she watched your nervous form on the sofa, noticing your foot tapping continuously against the floor. Abbey felt guilty, knowing she was mostly the cause of your distress. She’d pushed you away and messed with your feelings, being so overly affectionate and caring but never taking it any further than holding you. She never considered how that would mess with you or your feelings, but she’d never felt this way about anyone. This was all entirely new. 

As she brought both your drinks back to the sofa, she realised how much her hand hurt from the punches she gave that guy. Glancing down as she settled your cups onto your coffee table, she saw how bruised her knuckles were. You couldn’t help but notice too. 

“Your-your hands… you need to ice them. I think I’ve got-” Before Abbey could stop you, you’d rushed into the kitchen to find something in your freezer. You quickly grabbed a random bag of frozen vegetables from a drawer, wrapping it in the tea towel you had discarded by the sink this morning and returned to sit next to Abbey. You placed it on top of her bruised knuckles gently, feeling guilty when she grimaced at the initial contact. 

“I never did thank you,” You began, avoiding eye contact with her choosing instead to stare at her hands. 

“For what?” Abbey was genuinely confused, what were you thanking her for? Beating the everloving crap out of the man who tried to hurt you? You didn’t need to thank Abbey for that, she would’ve done that for you in a heartbeat, no matter who it was. No one hurts you and gets away with it.

“For- for helping me. And getting me to explode at him, I-I don’t want to think about what might’ve happened had you not-” Her free hand moved to cup your cheek, her thumb stroking softly. 

“Let’s not think about that, you’re here with me. You’re safe, no one’s gonna hurt you like that ever again.” Abbey tilted your head up to look at her, your eyes darting down to her lips then back up to her eyes.

“I- I know you know. How I feel, I mean.” You needed to tell her it was okay if she didn’t want to be with you. It would hurt like hell but you would manage. 

“Babe-”

“No, Abbey. It’s okay. I know you felt it… I did too. I don’t want you to feel like you have to be with me or like me in that way. Just because you know how I feel doesn’t mean you have to… y’know.” You hated this, her knowing but not feeling the same way. It stung more than you thought it would and you weren’t sure you could handle it. 

“It doesn’t matter. None of it does, I don’t wanna be a burden or hold you back from being with the person you wanna be with. I’ll move on, I know I will with time. You don’t need to worry about me, you can find someone else. We don’t have to be around each other either, if it’ll make things eas-” Abbey’s lips captured your own, not wanting to hear anything else. You made a conscious effort not to touch her anywhere else, scared of overwhelming her with your emotions, but when her other hand drifted up your loose top to caress your back, your hands reached for her immediately. The frozen vegetables fell to the floor as your hands held her waist, trying your hardest to keep your emotions in line when Abbey pulled away, a few inches from your lips and whispered against them.

“Let go, baby. Let it all go,” She encouraged as she kissed you slowly, deeply, and you couldn’t help but let your emotions go. You let them wash over you and pass gently through Abbey, before they dispersed into the air. It was the first time you felt like you were in control. Abbey felt your overwhelming emotions gradually fade into something more manageable, something you could control. The hand cupping your cheek moved to take one of your hands on her waist, your lips moving in sync with each other as her tongue gently explored your mouth. Your stomach was full of butterflies, fluttering around as her mouth slowed down and moved back to more tender kisses. 

“No, baby. I don’t want anyone else,” she said between kisses, “I don’t want to move on, I don’t want to see you with anyone else. I didn’t know what to do… I’d never felt this way about anyone and I was scared. Scared of getting hurt but terrified of hurting you.” Abbey confessed. You struggled to believe her, but when her hand squeezed yours tighter you could feel it. Abbey was telling the truth. Her nose brushed yours gently as she stole another kiss. 

“Seems I’ve already done that though, haven’t I?” Abbey asked, melancholic with her tone. 

“No, no Abbey. You didn’t hurt me, I should've been honest with you. I just wasn’t sure how to tell you… or if you even liked girls.”

Abbey pulled away a little further than before and you yearned for that close contact with her once more.

“I think I did more to hurt myself but I’m glad you know. I’m assuming you feel the same way too?” Your voice betrayed you as it quivered slightly, but Abbey once again reassured you with a small kiss. 

“I never felt right with guys and not just the sex, it was everything. There was never a connection. With you, everything feels right, there’s no confusion, no doubt, no questioning it. I thought about it on the walk back, how I never felt right without you by my side at the bar, how I always felt comfortable talking to you about anything and everything at community service. I know Laura didn’t want me around but it didn’t always feel right, but you do.”

You felt more tears spring to your eyes. Abbey was so excited when Laura came around. When she found out she was her imaginary friend brought to life, she felt like she knew why she existed, she finally knew her purpose. But when Laura began to feel uncomfortable and rejected her , Abbey couldn’t understand what had happened or what she’d done wrong. Laura had created her so surely she was meant to be with her, but when Laura turned her down it made her question her existence altogether. Why was she here if she wasn’t meant to make Laura happy? Why did she exist if that wasn’t what she was made for? It hurt her more than she cared to admit and found herself asking these questions every day.  Then you fell into her life. Everything made sense again. She didn’t want to let herself get hurt again but, more importantly, she didn’t want to hurt you.

“You’re the one for me, babe.” Abbey smiled, pressing one more kiss to your lips. You smiled in response but failed to stifle a yawn in the process.

“I think you need to get some rest baby, c’mon.” Abbey stood, pulling you up with her. You immediately crashed into her body, hugging her tightly as Abbey reciprocated. 

“You’ll stay with me… right?” You asked, worried she’d leave you alone.

“I’m not going anywhere, I promise.” She pressed a kiss to your hair before guiding you to your bedroom. 

The room was painted soft green, your bedsheets matching with a few decorative pillows and one or two squishmallows sat on top. It was clearly lived in, some clothes strewn on the floor, jewellery sat on top of a dresser covered in different products. Your bedside table was messy, a water bottle sat next to the lamp and a pile of 3 or 4 books were propped up by a fake flower pot. 

“I’m sorry it’s such a mess right now,” Your face flushed as you realised you’d left your clothes in a heap on the floor after your rushed shower this morning, including your underwear. 

“It’s alright, don’t worry. Let’s get into bed,” Abbey helped you shimmy out of your jeans and into your pyjama shorts, turning away as you removed your top and bra to put your sleep shirt on. Abbey then guided you to your bed, lifting the comforter up and watching you slide into your bed. Before Abbey could move away, you looked back up at her with those pleading eyes and she couldn’t resist. 

“Can I borrow a shirt to sleep in?” You nodded, pointing at one of the draws on your dresser. She grabbed the first one, changing into your oversized plain black shirt. She was so beautiful and you blushed when she removed her jeans, her slender, toned legs were gorgeous. She left her underwear on before turning to face you, crawling up the bed before settling next to you. You wrapped yourself around her, feeling her featherlight lips leave kisses along your neck and jaw. 

“I’m not going anywhere, I promise.” She whispered against your cheek, kissing your soft skin. As you cuddled her, you felt safe. Her scent was soft like vanilla and slightly almondy, bringing you more comfort as you settled in to sleep. Once Abbey saw your eyes gently shut, she pressed one more kiss to your temple, her lips ghosting your skin as she spoke one last sentence before you drifted.

“I love you. I’m glad I exist.”

[aetherialpiplup108]

Okay, I've finished Doom at Your Service and I will definitely gush about how much I love it but first I need to provide a slightly unhinged, subjective rant about this show reminding me why I hate love triangles.

Roughly 30-40% of DAYS revolves around a love triangle between Dong-Kyung's best friend and writer Na Ji-na, chief editor Cha Joo-ik, and Ji-na's high school lover/Joo-ik's roommate Lee Hyun-gu. One thing I will say is that I like or at least don't mind these characters. Ji-na has a fun personality and is great when she's with anyone other than the two guys, Hyun-gu has a pretty sweet bond with Seon-Kyung, and while I'm not the biggest Joo-ik fan (sorry, the stoic, dry humor types don't usually do it for me), he has his moments and I like his interactions with Dong-Kyung because she balances him out well, adding life and humor to their conversations.

My issues start with the love-triangle's premise itself. I get the story went with the "first love hits different" concept but Ji-na not getting over someone from high school to the extent that she'd design every single male character she writes after him, use his name as her penname, and actively pine hopelessly 10+ years later is really unbelievable to me. I'd be willing to suspend my disbelief if there was depth added to their relationship but all we're shown is a single scene of Ji-na stopping in a hallway and feeling a bit of infatuation that tells her he's the one. And in the present, literally zero time is spent addressing why Ji-na likes either of them or why they like her. This is somewhat helpful since it proves why she's incompatible with Hyun-gu but was sorely needed to describe why Joo-ik liked her because maybe I missed something but he seemed annoyed with or just tolerant of her for a large part of the runtime. They did have a decent conversation in episode 16 so I guess there's that.

Also, all three characters are at their worst when interacting with each other. The feisty, assertive Ji-na we know when she talks to the Tak's is a fumbling mess or at least very subdued when running into either of the guys. At first I felt a little bad for Hyun-gu being consistently hammered by everyone including his roommate/best-friend of 10 years for the cardinal sin of ghosting (I get that it was a horrible thing to do and that an apology was needed but he was young and dumb and again, it happened years ago) but he totally lost any sympathy from me with his epic confession that boiled down to: "even if you like someone else, date me, since I liked you first." Granted, this has to be a deliberate choice to illustrate that he's still a kid in serious need of growth but ughhh.

And Cha Joo-Ik comes off as manipulative and superior when he decides that Ji-na and Hyun-gu should not be together (which, fair) and prevents them from meeting and lying to both, effectively taking choices right out of Ji-na's hands (not fair). And unlike Hyun-gu, he never gets called out on this. Also, why was kissing Ji-na out of pity (a random girl he just met) the only option to console her over like, I don't know, talking to her or getting one of her friends?

The complex relationship between Hyun-Gu and Joo-Ik was by far the highlight of this whole debacle (they should have just gotten together instead) and I wished more time was spent on it because Hyun-gu's growth towards accepting responsibility for his flaws was impactful and the whole "graduation" concept would probably have been more effective if given context to their tutor/mentee bond. That one scene where Hyun-gu asks Joo-ik to stay in touch only to get told that was impossible for the time being was kind of sad because it's disappointing a 10-year friendship is dissolved that quickly. But it's also not surprising since Joo-ik seemed to resent liking him lmao. The end of that conversation and the affection shown was cute though.

Overall, the love triangle just cycles around with Ji-Na barely being allowed to make a choice between the two guys fighting over her (with them consistently saying things like "I need to take what's yours", it really felt like they were more invested in whatever the hell was going on between them vs actually liking Ji-na or even considering her as a person) and others just conveniently informing her that she likes Joo-ik. The penultimate episode where Dong-Kyung urges both Joo-ik and Ji-na to get together quickly (done so out of her personal experiences but still) instead of telling Ji-Na to focus on herself feels like someone took a cheese grader to my nerves.

I did, however, love the conclusion to Ji-na and Hyun-gu's relationship and the closure it provided. I thought their acceptance of the breakup and decision to move on from each other was really beautiful cinematically, acted out very well, and also had a serene melancholic feel that I enjoyed. Honestly, if they just focused on the two falling out of love and ended it there, I probably wouldn't have minded the subplot that much.

Okay, glad that's out of my system now. The funny part is that that I don't even care about this that much but that doesn't mean I won't write an essay on it.

[lucy90712]

Angst! Pedri breaks up with Reader and they haven’t seen each other in months until he sees her and realizes she’s the one :)

wc: 2500+

After a horrific few months where I was just so sad after a break up the last few weeks I have finally got back to my somewhat normal self and been enjoying life again. As I've been in a relationship for the last two years I never got to fully enjoy living in Barcelona and going out with friends so that's what I've been doing and it's been fun. Going out to clubs really wasn't my thing before the break up but since I've tried to push myself out of my comfort zone and live my life a bit more so I have been a few times since. I've definitely enjoyed being out with my friends and seeing them have fun but I hate having guys come over and try to flirt with me because they are always drunk and I just don't want to be talking to any guys at the moment. 

Tonight my friends want to go out and I agreed to go with them but for some reason I'm just not looking forward to it. Something deep inside of me is telling me not to go but I don't see any real reason not to so I'm going to ignore the stupid feeling and enjoy myself. To help get over the bad feeling I have decided to get dressed up extra nice for tonight so I put on my favourite dress and did my makeup and hair all glam. Looking in the mirror after I was finally ready I felt good about myself for once I didn't have any negative thoughts in my head which stem from social media comments. Now that my relationship is over and I don't have people criticising everything about my appearance I feel like I've got a new found confidence which I really like as I've never had a huge amount of self confidence but now I'm building that. 

After some final touches to my makeup and outfit I was ready to go so called an Uber to take me to the club we had agreed to go to because I want to drink so don't want to leave my car overnight. The Uber luckily was quick and so I met my friends outside and we all went into the club together as we always stick together when we go out just to be safe. Like always the club was loud and dark but I've grown to like the atmosphere a bit as sometimes you can hide away and go unnoticed for most of the night which can be quite nice. As we walked in my friends saw some people they knew so I was dragged with them to go and say hi but along the way I thought I saw someone familiar too but I tried to forget about it. 

It took all of 5 minutes for me to realise why my gut was telling me not to come out. The realisation hit when I saw Gavi my ex Pedri's best friend who would definitely not be here without Pedri. I tried to tell myself that it was just someone who looked like Gavi but when he was stood just a few feet away from me at the bar and we caught each other's eyes I couldn't deny it anymore. Panic started to flow through me as I haven't seen Pedri at all since the night we broke up which is pretty hard when his face is plastered all over the city but now we may come face to face. 

The whole break up was really hard on me as Pedri and I had been together for two years and got together not long after he moved to Barcelona so we went through a lot together. He was the one that was there for me in some of the hardest moments of my life and I was there to support him through his early days at Barcelona. In the end he broke things off to focus on football just as the latest season was starting and as much as I have been trying to avoid it I've heard that things have been going well for the team and Pedri. Not only did the sudden break up hurt but knowing that Pedri really is doing better without me feels like a knife in my chest as I can't help but feel that I was holding him back all that time without meaning to. All of that makes the thought of seeing him make me feel sick but I agreed to come out and put a lot of effort into my appearance so I feel like I need to stay and enjoy myself.

Pedri's POV

Going out wasn't my idea but everyone was going so I felt the need to go with them even though for some reason my gut was telling me not to. When we got here everyone sat down and talked for a few minutes before sending Gavi off to go and get drinks as he missed his chance to get himself out of it. After he'd been gone for over 5 minutes I started to get worried that something had happened and when he came back that feeling didn't change because he was giving me a look which I knew meant something was wrong. Instead of just telling me what was up he dragged me off to a more quiet corner of the club and then just stared at me which didn't at all help the anxiety I was already feeling. 

"What's going on?" I asked 

"Umm well y/n is here I saw her while getting drinks and it was definitely her because I looked her right in the eyes" he explained 

"Was she with anyone?" I asked 

"Only her friends I didn't see any guy with them" he said 

"If you want to leave I'll come up with some sort of excuse to tell the others" he offered 

"No it's ok I was always going to have to see her one day" I said 

As much as I said I was going to stay I don't really want to because I don't know if I can deal with seeing her again even if the break up was completely my decision. It was such a stupid decision breaking up with y/n because it was supposed to be for me to focus on football and sure I've been playing well but I haven't been truly happy since. No win and no goal really mean anything anymore because y/n isn't there to celebrate with me like she always was before. It's hard to get motivated every morning when she's not there when I wake up and won't be there when I come back either. My life just hasn't been the same without y/n but I was the one that broke up with her for a completely selfish reason so I don't think she'd even want to talk to me again which I completely understand because if someone did that to me I wouldn't want to talk to them either. 

After taking a minute to think I went back to the table with everyone else and tried to enjoy myself but I really ended up just sat there. While sat down I happened to see y/n from across the room and once I did I couldn't take my eyes off her. She looked so beautiful her hair and makeup were done and she had on her favourite dress which I used to love as it gave her more confidence. She was smiling and laughing with her friends and just seeing her smiling again broke my heart because I used to love seeing her smile it always made my day and being the one to make her smile was even better but I'll never be able to do that again as I made a stupid decision. 

The more I stared at her the more I realised just how dumb I was to break up with her. I had the perfect girl and I stupidly let her go because I thought I would be better off without her when in fact it's the exact opposite. When we were together I knew I loved her but now that we are apart I realise just how much I loved and still love her. Over the course of our relationship I never thought too much about the future because everything with football is always about the present  so I never thought much beyond that but now it's all I can think about. Now that it's too late I realise that I wanted a future with y/n I wanted us to get married, have kids and grow old together bit now she's clearly moved on and will want those things with other people. 

"You're staring man" Gavi said taking me out of my thoughts 

"She was the one and I let her go" I said 

"If you really think she's the one then you should go and talk to her and try to win her back because the longer you leave it the more likely she is to move on" he encouraged 

"I'm going to do it but if it goes wrong I'm blaming you" I said 

Your POV 

All night I've been glancing over at Pedri as I can see him from across the club and I don't even know why it's like I'm still drawn to him. He looks as handsome as ever with his shirt unbuttoned at the top showing off his chest and his beard that I always loved growing in. I so desperately wanted to be sat with him and for him to have his arm around my waist again like he would always do when we were in public together but he broke up with me for a reason and I can't have him back. Only once we were apart did I realise how much he meant to me and now seeing him again it's bringing back all of those thoughts I've worked hard to block out. I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him and I still can't imagine being with anyone else but at some point I'll have to move on or else I'll be alone forever. 

When my friends noticed me staring at Pedri they made me face the other way and gave me another drink to help distract me although it didn't really work. I tried my best to not think about Pedri but he kept crossing my mind even when my friend were pointing out other guys in the club I found myself comparing them to Pedri. Eventually I decided that in advance to move on and so I started paying more attention to the conversation and actually talking to my friends. Just as I was starting to enjoy myself again I felt and hand on my shoulder which without looking I knew would belong to a guy wanting my attention which usually I would ignore but tonight I need a distraction so I turned around. As I turned around I saw Pedri stood behind me and I nearly fainted but somehow I managed to hold it together and smile at him. 

"Hey" I managed to say 

"Hey I get if you don't want to talk to me but can I get you a drink for us to catch up over?" He asked 

"I wouldn't mind that" I replied 

He gently took hold of my wrist and brought me to the bar with him where he ordered my favourite drink and paid for it before taking me to a table for just the two of us. Once we sat down neither of us talked for a few moments before he asked me how I have been. To begin with things were kind of awkward as we haven't spoken in a few months but as the conversation continued we both got more comfortable and started get back to how we used to be. He talked about the team and how they have been playing really well and I told him about my recent promotion at work which I was working toward when we were still together. We talked about most things but avoided the topic of relationships but from what he was saying I got the impression that he wasn't seeing anyone else which made me happy as it meant there was still a chance for us to get back together. 

"I'm going to be honest with you y/n I really regret breaking up with you life just hasn't been the same since I haven't been anywhere near as happy as I was with you" Pedri admitted 

"I've missed you a lot too it's been hard hearing your name and all the things you've achieved without being able to celebrate them with you" I said 

"Then what are we doing I realise now that you are the one for me and I don't want to be with anyone else so if you are willing to would you want to give this another go?" He asked 

"You're the one I want to be with too and I want to get back together but I want to go slowly and build the relationship again so we don't have any problem" I said 

"Of course we can do whatever you want I just want you back" he said 

"You've got me back but don't ever let me go again I don't think I'll survive breaking up with you again" I joked 

"I'll never let you go ever again" he said 

Just like I was wishing for earlier he slid his arm around my waist and I rested my head on his shoulder just enjoying being back in his arms. We probably looked like weirdos to anyone else in the club but I was more than content just being with Pedri now that he’s mine again. We sat together for a little while before he took me over to his friends who were all glad to see us back together especially Gavi who didn’t hesitate to tell me all the things Pedri has been saying while we were broken up which had Pedri blushing but I loved to hear it. 

Eventually I was ready to go home so went to get and Uber but Pedri didn’t let me instead he said goodbye to his friends and we went to his car so he could drive me home. The entire way Pedri had his hand on my leg rubbing gently circles on my knee like he always used to which had both of us smiling from ear to ear. Once back at my place he walked me to my door and put both of his hands on my waist to pull me closer to him. I looked into his eyes for a few moments before we both began to lean in and finally our lips met in a kiss that was just like our first full of love and passion. He gave me one last kiss before leaving me in my apartment thinking about his a bad night turned into the best because I got my everything back.