#i...i wrote cockles?

[dean-you-assbutt-cas-loves-you]

why is my cockles op from 2018 the header in the cockles tag? xD

anyway, that one time I told them to hold hands and eye fuck and I made jensen laugh so hard it was awesome... good times :D

[the-rollerchloster]

Parasocial relationships are strange. Parasocial relationships in a fandom like this one can be even stranger.

I want to preface this by saying that everyone is entitled to their feelings, and feelings are sometimes completely irrational. I am also aware that sometimes our feelings are driven by incomplete thoughts, and have a tendency to overwhelm us and those around us before we can process them. In saying that, I have seen a lot of conflicting emotions and reactions to the reveal that Misha Collins has a "serious" girlfriend (and a large cock apparently, but that is a whole other thing), and I know I shouldn't be surprised by it, but part of me is.

There was a conversation in my discord server over the complicated feelings people have about this news. As a cockles-friendly space this was to be expected, as any new development in the lives of either half of JenMish often spurs these kinds of conversations, but as it started to get emotional I was thanked for bringing some perspective. I hope that I can help anyone who also needs a different way of viewing this situation by making this post, while also helping myself to organise my own chaotic and complicated thoughts.

As I understand it, during the It Seemed Like A Good Idea At The Time event at this weekend's Burbank convention, Misha told a fun anecdote about gift-giving with his new girlfriend and her daughter, wherein Misha got some things delivered to said girlfriend directly from Amazon, and girlfriend wrapped them for the daughter including what she thought was a microphone but was actually another similarly shaped item not intended for children at all. He continued to say that this "microphone" was for his girlfriend so she wouldn't need to go searching elsewhere for intimacy, as they are currently living in separate states. Now, I was not at the event, and the lack of recordings (recording was strictly prohibited, so if you've got one shame on you, I don't want to know about it!) means that everything I will ever know about this story and the way it was told to the small audience who were lucky enough to be able to attend this event comes as a form of the Telephone game, and therefore lacks a whole lot of body language, tone and context. We, as a fandom, have been severely burnt by this kind of missing nuance before - think DenverCon'21 - and it's these kinds of kneejerk reactions that have the potential to spiral out of control and limit the things we get told at future events - think bishagate.

Think for a second about your personal perception of Misha Collins. He's chaotic, he can be a little self-deprecating or self-effacing, he likes to turn serious anecdotes into jokes. He is also a passionate and caring man, who has a lot of respect and appreciation for his fans. Think about the way he tells anecdotes at standard con panels - it's often a bit tongue-in-cheek, a bit sarcastic, a bit exaggerated - so why would his behaviour at this event, which was specifically set up for Misha to tell stories he wouldn't normally have the space to do in a convention setting, be any different?

I am going to go through my thoughts on some of the things I have seen mentioned about what this all means…

First off, the elephant in the room, what does this mean for Cockles? To me, absolutely nothing. Whatever Jensen and Misha have going on completely transcends a standard sexual and/or romantic relationship. Misha was in his relationship with Vicki for the majority of his life, including when he met Jensen, and we all know she literally wrote a book on polyamory; his perception of relationships is literally shaped and moulded by this, and it's not something he's going to just switch off. Danneel has been a permanent fixture in the cockles dynamic this entire time as well. The JenMish panel at Burbank this weekend will hopefully alleviate any of the doubt anyone is having here, and give us some knowledge that regardless of how Misha defines his relationship status, things will continue in the same chaotic, loving and ridiculous nature we've become accustomed to.

Which segues nicely into the implication that the vibrator was purchased so she wouldn't stray, and therefore their relationship is monogamous. See above thoughts about tongue-in-cheek, exaggerated and self-effacing - when I imagine him telling this story, I see that cheeky, gummy grin going the whole time. Without the nuance of watching this unfold, I think we are all safest to assume that this was a joke, not a firm declaration that he has left his polyamorous attitudes behind.

On thoughts of him "moving on too soon" from his marriage and subsequent divorce, this is where my own feelings get complicated as well, but also where we need to remember that the key feature of a parasocial relationship is that we only see and know what he wants us to. We don't actually know what the trigger for that dissolution was, so in terms of the actual calendar timing it might seem soon, but emotional development and change doesn't run on a standard calendar. We don't know how long the process was before the decision was made to separate. I am currently working through a messy separation, and while I can pinpoint the decision to somewhere in the past 6-12 months, my marriage has realistically been dead for 3+ years, and we're a (supposedly) monogamous couple. As a poly couple, I can imagine that Misha and Vicki worked through every alternative option possible before landing on the decision to formally separate, and had probably well and truly been through the mourning period before it was even all over. Adult relationships are complex at the best of times, and no one ever truly knows what is happening in them except the people involved. I also think that as a man who is nearing 50 and just come out of very long term relationship, that he doesn't actually know how to be "alone", nor does he want to…

Lastly, for some of us, this is someone important in our lives who has found happiness in another person when perhaps we don't have that for ourselves. When those feelings hit, they can be extremely disheartening, and I want to send all my loving thoughts to anyone who falls into this category. It's difficult when the envy turns your stomach in knots and then your thoughts spiral into all the things wrong that mean that no matter how much you want to you can't just be happy for someone. Love and life are complicated, human beings are complicated, society is complicated. There is this hugely widespread and toxic mentality that we are all raised on that says we are halves of something that is destined to find our other half in order to feel whole, and it's utter bullshit. We shouldn't need one singular significant other to feel complete, and sometimes we get so determined to find that someone that we end up sacrificing ourselves to make them fit. (see also; Daniel Sloss' thoughts on this subject in his stand-up special Jigsaw)

There are many different kinds of love, many different kinds of relationships, and many different kinds of people. If anyone proves that to us, it's Misha Collins. He is walking evidence that human life is chaotic and unpredictable and indeterminate and we can make our own fucking rules. I hope that we can collectively be respectful of him, no matter what (or who) he chooses, and feel grateful for everything he trusts us enough to share.

[ziigee]

Friend: Hey, it's Saturday, wanna hang out?

Me: um, sorry, i got things to do, catch ya later

Things to do,

this 3 min interview

Misha: my roommate crawled under my covers.. He wrote a song for me..

Interviewer: YOU were his Jesus! They were mesmerized by him 😂

I can't.. he looks so good here..

2. Finally got around to rewatch s7 (it's been ages)

holyfuck.. look at him!..

3. then there is this..

stare, drool and fantasize over thousands of shamelessly downloaded pics, gifs and art for science

4. Pick 3 from endless list of fics and ficlets to cry and giggle over...

5. and finally, cockles panels (it's gonna be tricky to pick one)

i will be draping myself with Misha/ Castiel/ Cockles into a burrito for the next 12 hours.

happy saturday, y'all. 💙💚

[livebloggingmydescentintomadness]

the cockles masterlist, part 6

now split in SIX parts for link limit reasons

WARNING: this post glitches and crashes on mobile. it’s recommended you view this on your desktop, or at least on your mobile browser rather than the app. if my desktop theme is hard on your eyes, try an extension such as Just Read or Reader View to customize the layout and colors.

if you’re still having trouble viewing, or if you don’t want to have to switch between the five posts, here’s all of the links compiled into a google doc.

welcome to the cockles masterpost, a labor of love/insomniac hyperfixation.

i recently wrote this cockles manifesto, but after it got a lot of notes and i kept adding more links to it, i decided i should just go through my 8 years of archives and compile all the cockles posts in a much more accessible and navigable way. after everything with the series finale and destielgate, i figured we could use some happiness, and it turns out there are a lot of people who’ve never heard the cockles gospel.

important disclaimer: yes, i do think that jensen and misha have a private romantic/sexual relationship, but no i do not, in any way, think that they have ever cheated on their wives. we think they are polyamorous, which is a real and valid thing, and misha is openly poly. some people love more than one person, and that’s okay. their families are close and we love and support all of them.

second important disclaimer: despite the amount of innuendo below, this is not about fantasizing about two hot guys fucking. cockles is about the joy of witnessing two people who love each other and make each other happy and are disgustingly cute together. we’re not fetishizing, we’re just appreciating what they publicly share with us.

third important disclaimer: because some of y’all don’t know, the cardinal rule of cockles is that we don’t talk to cockles about cockles. DO NOT leave any comments on their social media accounts implying anything. not even green and blue hearts. they know that we know, but it’s on us not to make it weird. if we’re too obvious and say too much, they might start sharing less. don’t say anything.

for the sake of my sanity, these are in no particular order.

last updated: 3/8/23

🐚 denotes new content

part 1 (That’s Suspicious, mishananigans)

part 2 (#pray4jensen, gag reel hijinks, some posts i’ve written about cockles and rps)

part 3 (know your cockles history, the intimacy)

part 4 (the glory of jibcon)

part 5 (just for cute)

the glory of jibcon continued:

jib11 opening ceremony whispers and giggles

jensen turning his back as misha walks up to hug him | more gifs | video

"just swallow it" "he's always giving that advice" | video

"[danneel] does refer to misha as her boyfriend. which is funny, because so do i." | more gifs | video | fan discussion of this moment

misha sitting on the floor to watch jensen sing, jensen getting shy

jensen serenading misha with "angeles" | video angle 1 | video angle 2 | video of jensen looking at misha, getting flustered, and stopping suddenly | more gifs | photo | misha sitting on the floor watching | another misha photo | the significance of ‘angeles’

"i think you look nice and dapper" ... "then [jensen] went in for a kiss and i was like, whoa!" "hey, when in rome!"

the destiel song they improvised together | video | gifs minus lyrics

big dad angry machine

"i've been haunted by those bear underwear for some time"

jensen "woo!"ing when misha mentions gotham knights

jensen's face going soft when he looks from jared to misha | video

after misha says a unicorn toy is vibrating "for her pleasure", jensen pretends to sit on it | gif

misha moves his chair further away, jensen scoots his closer | video | “what are we doing? am i coming over?”

jensen spinning the wheel then staring at misha for ten seconds straight | video | photos

jensen tells everyone to stop cheering for misha to sing after misha makes it clear he doesn't want to | gifs + bonus “there goes jared with his job security” 👀

jensen winking at misha

jensen saying he's going to plan a big birthday party for misha's 50th, which is more than a year away | video

"you're my canary" | video

whispers and laughing (feat. misha's missing tooth) | photos

"i love those dishes" "you love those bitches??"

misha hyping jensen's new album | video

"my caretaker tells me i had a very nice birthday."

jensen staring at misha’s ass when he bends over

"this is our song"

roasting jared for bragging sam is tougher than dean | gifs

jensen staring at misha before making a birthday wish

riffing on “the european version of spn”: one, two, three, four

chatting about taking their families to amusement parks, jensen refers to misha as ‘daddy’

jensen’s nickname kink in full swing at jib11

12 years of jibcon secrets

head-leaning selfie with briana buckmaster | edit

2023 jibcon11 tag



just for cute (continued):

adorable photo ops: 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92   93 94

2012 spn wrap party photo

300th episode red carpet flirting

"misha decided jensen was the gift" photo op

hand measuring photo op

[thislovintime]

Top left photo by Tom M. Morton.

Remembering Michael.

“I have a great deal of respect for Mike as a musician and a songwriter. He’s very good. He could make it on his own easily. Also he’s one of the funniest people I’ve ever met.” - Peter Tork, Flip, August 1967 "Mike’s a song writer, one of the best in the country." - Peter Tork, The San Francisco Examiner, November 23, 1968 (x) "Mike Nesmith makes good records, but Thorkelson considers Nesmith’s greatest talent to be his ability to craft great comedy.” - The Bowling Green News Revue, May 24, 1979 (x) “I remember staying at Mike’s house in Hollywood when we first started filming the series. It was the upper story of a two-story building on a little hillside. Mike’s wife, Phyllis, was wonderful. Mike and I laughed a lot and played music together. I remember that time very fondly.” - Peter Tork, When The Music Mattered (1984) “Michael was very kind to me at the outset. He put me up through the entire shooting of the pilot process. He and his wife had a wonderful little apartment just big enough for a guest on the day bed, which overlooked Hollywood. I remember a Thanksgiving Day when the air was crystal clear in a way that I’ve never seen it before or since in L.A., and you could see all the way out to Catalina. It was wonderful. That crystal clarity symbolizes the whole era for me. Mike and I wrote a few things together. We were very comradely and very buddy buddy, and it was a wonderful time, with Mike’s then wife, Phyllis, and Christian, their little infant baby. The early days of the pilot shooting were just great by my lights and I had a wonderful time.” - Peter, quoted in Hey, Hey, We’re The Monkees (1996) “You should’ve heard Mike singing some of those old Jimmie Rodgers The Singing Brakeman songs. He was so good, that stuff was just — you know, that stuff just warmed the cockles of my heart, you know. He could just do that stuff all day long. Just — I could just sit at his feet and listen to that for hours.” - Peter Tork, WHNN-FM, 2012 (x)

[dduane]

Ludwig Bemelmans' NY Oyster Bar Shellfish Pan Roast Recipe

I love Ludwig Bemelmans for many reasons that usually have more to do with writing and his challenging career arc than with food (more details here). But this post's about the food, and a specific favorite recipe.

In his collection of "slice-of-culinary-life" writings La Bonne Table,  Bemelmans passes on a bit of info that many New Yorkers, or visitors to the city, would be glad to have: the original recipe for one version of the famous shellfish pan roast served at Grand Central Terminal's venerable Oyster Bar and Restaurant (a venue much appreciated by the cats in the Feline Wizardry series, as well as by the series's author, who ate there as often as she could afford to while living and working in Manhattan).

So here's the image of the page in La Bonne Table where the recipe/method appears, and a transcription of the method. Bemelmans gives the version for the clam pan roast. For an oyster panroast like the one in the header image, I just substitute canned oysters and enough fish stock or consommé to equal the amount of clam broth Bemelmans quotes. All kinds of shellfish work brilliantly in this (and if you're actually in the Oyster Bar some time and feel inclined toward this dish, you might like to order the combination one, which has a little bit of everything). I've broken up the original block of his text for readability's sake: may his kindly shade forgive me.

We went to rake for cockles, which are like our clams, except for their globular structure, and they taste like Little Necks. I gave the hostess a recipe, which I found in Grand Central Station's sea-food bar, where a Greek chef who makes it wrote it down for me and showed me how it's made. It is one of the best things to eat, simple to make-- in fact, nobody can go wrong. It's a meal in itself, and it costs very little.

You need paprika, chili sauce, sherry wine; also celery salt, Worcestershire sauce, butter according to your taste, and clams. I use cherrystones, which are washed and brushed, and then placed in a deep pan with their own liquid. For each portion of eight, add one pat of butter, a tablespoon of chili sauce, 1/2 teaspoon of Worcestershire sauce, a few drops of lemon juice and 1/2 cup of clam broth. Add a dash of celery salt and paprika.

Stir all this over a low fire for three minutes. Then add four ounces of light cream or heavy cream, according to your taste, and one ounce of sherry wine, and keep stirring. When it comes to the boiling point, pour it over dry toast in individual bowls. Add a pat of butter and a dash of paprika and it is ready to serve.

If you have made too much of it, put the remainder in a container in your refrigerator. It will be as good, warmed up, a week or a month* later. It's called Clam Pan Roast, if you ever want to order it at Grand Central Station's Oyster Bar. I understand the recipe originally came from Maine.

*I love his enthusiasm here, but frankly I wouldn't leave this in the fridge for any month. A few days maybe. (Though it must be said, I couldn't leave it alone that long anyway. It's really good.)

[walkergirlsposts]

https://www.tumblr.com/walkergirlsposts/760347252529217536/i-really-cant-understand-jensen-he-wrote-a-few?source=share

If you listen to some songs of Jensen some have literally phrases that Jared said multiple times and some also tells things that relate more to Jared than Jensen. And there is nothing wrong, many singers to that, it's common, they are storytellers, and I'm NOT saying that they are in relationship and blah blah blah.

I don't know why Cockles get hurt so much by facts. I remember when they tought that the cover album was for destiel.

After prequelgate I started to hate Jensen but I can't deny that he and Jared had a long friendship.

I do believe he wrote some of the earlier songs for him, too. Of course you go to any cockles blog and they outright deny it. That's always funny. J2 have had more history than cockles ever will. You can't deny that.

[mangatxt]

Words for WIP ask game: omen, worship, whisper, similar

these are such good ones!! thank you so much.

omen -- I don't have this one exactly, so I had to cheat and use moment. from a serirei oneshot called 'speed run':

Back then, Reigen’s mouth said ‘yes’ before his brain had fully processed the question. Once the calculations caught up it was too late — because, as Reigen knew in the deepest, twistiest cockles of his soul, the worst thing a man can be is an asshole, but the second-worst thing? Inconsistent. Thus, despite a night of incessant heart palpitations, Reigen signed a lease the next day. When they moved in, they had two of nearly everything. Two TVs, two couches, two sets of dishes, and all the rest. Up until that moment, Reigen hadn’t considered his own possessions much outside their utility. The TV was a thing to watch; the couch, a place to sit; the dishes, a tool for sustenance. He’d bought nearly all of it secondhand, and even if he’d fucked up the re-upholstery or needed to slap the top of the CRT a few times to filter out the stubborn static — it all worked just fine. 

worship -- from the same oneshot as above (nsfw under the cut):

And Serizawa, normally the voracious one in the relationship, hasn't noticed a thing. He throws himself into these new tasks like a monk tending to a batch of sacred texts in an abbey, and Reigen is left to worship the rubber end of his Hitachi wand.

whisper -- from sage advice 8:

“I mean, what do you even like about him?” Serizawa’s voice is low, barely a whisper over the moving water, the dull chatter, the hum of the lights. “I like watching him. Spending time with him. His sense of humor. I realized that I’m never bored when he’s around.” “What is he, a clown?” “Not on purpose.” “You have weird taste, Serizawa.” “I know.”

similar -- from sage advice 8:

Serizawa gestures to the salt-encrusted dartboard in the corner, where someone taped up a Seasoning City map, and the spot on the wall, where one of someone’s thrown darts missed the board entirely and left a small gash in the drywall not quite covered by the adjacent picture frame. “I fail to see how that’s related,” Reigen says. Serizawa then gestures to the ‘missing’ flier pinned to the photo board, upon which someone circled the cat’s picture with Reigen's fat red marker and wrote “I’ll find you” across the bottom in Reigen's handwriting. “I see the confusion. Let’s not get carried away. It’s like a lost cat, but…it isn’t. It’s like how evil spirits are often confused for muscle cramps. It’s a very similar situation — nearly identical to the untrained eye! But yet, an entirely different thing.”

thanks again for the ask!

[lightofraye]

Oh hello Cynifer!

You're back.

You did not stay away as long as I'd hope. I actually recognized you. Damn.

But you and your anons are clearly lacking wits, but I guess that makes sense, given you're a Cockles and Heller fanatic. I guess they don't check for critical thinking or reading comprehension during enrollment into those subsections of the fandom.

Or you'd actually be able to tell the difference between my writing and my daughter's. She's real, by the way. That cutesy little thing your anon quoted from her bio was because people actually thought I made her up--and she took that concept and ran away with it. Why shouldn't she? It's hilarious how people--namely folks like you, AAs and anyone who dislike me for pointing out facts--couldn't tell our writing styles apart.

Secondly, if none of you--again, you--can't see the pain in Jensen's eyes, the way he reacted to that fan's unnecessarily cruel remark about "get back to work!", the way he barely really smiled at SDCC, then I can't help you. Because I know I'm not "delulu". Others have seen it, and we're not making it up--not like you Hellers and Cockles fanatics.

But y'know, for someone who advised to "block and ignore" your anons or yourself don't seem to listen. I only know you wrote this complete nonsense was because a follower let me know. I don't use a sock to visit blocked Tumblrs. My life is too short for that nonsense.

I mean... to call us creepy? My daughter for coming to the defense of her mother? Really? And me for... what? Seeing Jensen as he is, as opposed to the beautiful trophy you and your followers see? To see Jensen as flawed, as human? As someone who, while having some lovely success to his career, clearly isn't happy?

Oh right.

You stan Danneel.

And you say I'm delulu.

Go ahead, live with your self-insert in Danneel's very empty, very pitiful life.

I know what matters. It's not the money. It's not the fame. It's not the 30 room McMansion in Connecticut.

It's the symphony I hear that you and your anons are in denial about.

[mattnben-bennmatt]

Ben Affleck and Matt Damon: Faces of the Oscars

They successfully turned a high-tech thriller into a tearjerker, and struck a box office heart of gold — but the real payoff may come on Oscar night

By Rebecca Ascher-Walsh for Entertainment Weekly (13 February 1998)

[NOTE: The full transcript of the article, as retrieved from the Entertainment Weekly website, is under the cut. It does seem surprisingly short to me, so I don't know if it is in its complete form as presented in the original issue. If anyone has any information on this, it would be most welcome!]

Good Will Hunting

Math prodigy Will Hunting, on a job interview with NASA, is given a test code to crack. He quickly spots an evil scheme: NASA and the FBI have set him up with a real code, which, once solved, could cause mass destruction. Hunting recruits his best friends and understanding shrink to hatch a plan, beat the government, and save the day.

This is not, most certainly, the subtle, warm-the-cockles-of-your-heart Good Will Hunting that has propelled cowriters, actors, and childhood best friends Matt Damon and Ben Affleck onto Hollywood’s most-wanted list, into the hearts of American audiences, and toward the Oscar podium. And the tortuous path Affleck and Damon were forced to navigate in order to transform the movie from a high-tech conspiracy thriller to an intimate character study is one of the most dramatic stories of the Oscar season.

After five years of knocking, Damon, 27, and Affleck, 25, have been admitted to the Movie Hall of Fame so suddenly that it’s a little disconcerting. A few weeks ago, an 80-year-old woman walked past the Manhattan set of Miramax’s Rounders, in which Damon plays a card shark, and — upon learning who the star was — exclaimed in wonder, “Matt Damon, the sex symbol?!” And when Affleck — in L.A. to film the summer blockbuster-in-waiting Armageddon with Bruce Willis — went to the Disney cafeteria and signed for his lunch because he’d forgotten his wallet, he learned the next day on a television gossip show that he had, in fact, pitched a fit and demanded a free meal. “It worried me,” Affleck says. “I haven’t trashed a hotel room yet, but yesterday I leaned back in my chair at the Four Seasons and it kind of snapped. What will they think?”

What they’ll think is that Good Will Hunting‘s odyssey is a classic Hollywood-in-the-’90s Cinderella story, the kind that ends with the prospect of Academy Awards and surprisingly good box office. Which isn’t far from the truth, if the evil stepmother becomes a studio, and Prince Charming is redrawn to look like (gulp) Harvey Weinstein.

Affleck — who refers to his partner and himself as “the Milli Vanilli of screenwriters” — and Damon began to work on Good Will Hunting in 1993, basing the story on a one-act play Damon had written at Harvard (he left before completing his studies). They drew from their own life growing up in Boston, where they were introduced by their mothers, both teachers, 17 years ago. “We’re pretty inseparable, in terms of our experiences,” Damon says. “We look at things in exactly the same way.” While they wrote, Damon says, “it wasn’t like someone was good at structure and someone at dialogue. The only difference between us is Ben can type.”

Neither, however, can edit. “We must have written 1,500 pages,” Damon says. “We had Will Goes to the Zoo episodes.” Within months, they settled on a script combining a friendship adventure with a “banana in the tailpipe” plot, as Affleck described the then-thrill-a-minute NASA caper. The characters of Will (Damon), a down-and-out boy genius, and his best friend Chuckie (Affleck), a construction worker, were already in place. But instead of the mentor/professor eventually played by Stellan Skarsgard, imagine a nefarious FBI agent attempting to corrupt Will, and instead of boy-meets-therapist bonding, picture a climax with world peace at stake.

That may have been a tall order for what Damon and Affleck envisioned as an independently financed $2 million project — and in November 1994, when Castle Rock won a bidding war for the script, director Rob Reiner, a partner in the studio, told them to drop the adventure angle and focus on the relationships. “It was a scary moment,” says coproducer Chris Moore. “We started [all over again] with 63 pages and made it a character story.”

[mishacollinsthighsss]

I'm still not over what happened, but I have brain worms and they most likely make absolutely no sense and don't even go together but I need to get them out, so heh... guess you guys have to suffer.

THIS PROBABLY WILL INCLUDE A LOT OF TINHATTING BOTH FOR DESTIEL AND COCKLES.

You still there? Great, let's get into my not medicated adhd brain a little.

First of all, starting Friday: The Album Drop

...do I need to say more? No? Well too bad, because I'm going to 😂 I'm a huge music freak, been singing since I was four, play guitar and the piano (I didn't say good okay, I'm actually very jealous of Jensen) and I've been obsessed with lyrics for pretty much forever. Alright, call me crazy but this album is so Dean Winchester coded it's unreal. Every song could be put together with Dean and I'm not even joking. You know what's even funnier? THAT THE DAMN SONG JENSEN AND MISHA PUT TOGETHER YESTERDAY COULD VERY WELL END UP AS A RADIO COMPANY SONG. The lyrics definitely needs some work (probably making it more vague), but... come on. The first thing my mind jumped to when I realized what Jensen was singing was Watching Over Me. MOVING ON.

Second: Jensen's answer about the Destiel reunion

This hole thing still drives me crazy. This was probably the clearest answer we've even gotten from Jensen, plus we got confirmation that he'd like to see a Destiel reunion AND ADDRESSING CAS' GOODBYE (I wanna say here that at this point I have no idea how that would play out if it would be something like "Hey buddy, I don't feel that way but I don't wanna lose you" or a full on love confession from Dean... I have no idea and that's okay, because I know Jensen knows how important that confession was to a lot of us, so I trust him not to invalidate Cas' feelings). Now, I paid a little attention to the words he said about maybe seeing it: first, he said that hopefully we'll get to see that at some point, and later he said maybe we won't. This immediately jumped out to me and you know what my brain did? Let me tell you: Jensen said that he doesn't talk about possible project before they aren't under the wraps because he doesn't wanna jinx them. Now hear me out: first, he said maybe we'll get to see it. Then he backtracked. He's talked about a reboot/6-10 episode thing for forever now. He WANTS to come back. My tinhat is firmly in place when I say that I have no doubt he's working on it already, but it isn't greenlit yet (hence the backtrack later). The description was just too specific to be made up out of thin air. (Watch me regretting those words later because I'm just too hopeful.)

Third and last: Whatever that Cockles Panel was

Listen, I could scream about them forever, we all know what went down, the only thing I wanna point out is: When Jensen said "...which is funny because so do I" he looked flustered as hell, we all know that by now. What gets me is that Misha had basically no reaction to this (he looked down, but that's it). So, did they plan something like that? I don't know, I just think it's weird as hell to have no reaction to something like this, especially when it's your "best friend" and he says that in front of hundreds of people.

(Plus, a little side note: still not over how you can SEE Jensens brain working while he's nervously rubbing his thigh.)

I don't even wanna go into the lyrics they wrote together, I've talked about it during the first point already, but something I wanna add is that I loved jensens face journey as Misha first mentioned the brothers but then immediately jumped to "The Angel". That was hilarious and by God, Jensen was planning on throwing together something romantic.

I'm very much not fine as you can tell, but it feels like the universe has shifted after the non-existent finale and now it's our turn. I always try to keep my expectations low, but the album and this whole weekend catapulted me right into the sun, so now all I can see is light and stars and it's wonderful.

[youchangedmedestiel]

New to the SPN fandom

Well, not so new because I started watching SPN on December 15th 2022 and finished the whole show on February 20th 2023. And I started to ship Destiel on December 31st 2022 (What a way to enter a new year, I didn't know how much back then) between episodes 4x10 and 4x22, so something must have happened between these two episodes for me to ship them or maybe it was just the crazy eye thing they do. Who knows? I don't remember. Anyway, I didn't knoooow ANYTHING at the time (What a time). I didn't know how crazy it would be to ship them, how much it would impact my life.

I mean I watched the whole show in 2 months because of them. I even occasionally watch a random episode... or ten.

I watched a crazy amount of edit videos on Youtube, another crazy amount of conventions videos.

I discovered Cockles along the way, because Destiel was too painful, I needed relieve which led to me smiling stupid at my screen a lot while watching Jensen and Misha on a stage.

I red fanfiction for the first time in my life, and still have a lot to read.

For the first time too, I even wrote fanfiction (I have not decided if I will post what I wrote one day yet, for now I'm just sending it to a friend who made me watch the show, because it's her fault). I mean WTF. I always hated writing in English at school (I'm french and I doesn't even write in French, I have never write in my life except when I had to). What the actual fuck!

I discovered Jensen sang and that was a damn good discovery. That voice, I will never be over it (such as Destiel I guess).

I have a playlist for Radio company songs, I have another with songs from the show and I have a Led Zepp one (which I'm actually listening while I wrote this). This insane... thing/show/ship/whatever has even influenced my musical taste. HOW?

I used to draw a long time ago (mostly animals) but WHO KNOWS maybe one day I will draw Destiel since it has changed a LOT of things in my life.

I decided to stop fight it anyway and just embraced it, so here I am.

[loveinterestcastiel]

hello gay people in my phone

[sapphyreopal5]

Hi, I want to ask you what do you think about the relationship between J2M. I think J2 see Misha more as a work friend than a real friend (probably the Cockles will not agree), but I also think that between Jared and Jensen there's a strange codependence relationship. They lived together for years, they have see almost all each other shows and they still do with TB and Walker, they travelled together, shared clothes and had matched outfits. I'm not saying that they are in a relationship or something like that but one time Misha or Rich said that when they are together it's like they are in bubble and no one else is around. Do you think there is some type of unhealty relationship between the two (not in a romantic way).

Thank you 🤗

Ps: nice blog, it's a pleasure to read

Hello Anon, thank you for the ask and the compliment for my blog! I see you asked me this yesterday, July 2, 2024. I made this reblog post earlier today. In this reblog post I included a screenshot including tidbits about Dumbo the elephant going from dependency to loss to growth. I spoke of this with respect to Gen as Ruby saying to Jared as Sam Winchester "You never needed the feather to fly, Dumbo. You had it in you all along". I also said Ruby was no Timothy in reference to Timothy being the mouse who befriends Dumbo and guides him into becoming a success as the world's only flying elephant, due to his abnormally large ears and learning to fly thanks to the crows and Timothy.

The real Timothy on the show Supernatural could be said to be Dean Winchester. Funnily enough, Hermes was mentioned in that Jungian Life article about the symbolic meaning of the feather to Dumbo. I also mentioned in that post how I wrote of Jensen having Hermes as a higher self, who curiously is depicted often times as having winged sandals and comes and goes from the underworld Hades, earth and Olympus in the heavens.

As for the codependency outside of Supernatural, I do believe that Jensen and Jared did have a codependent relationship in the past but not as much now. Art imitates real life they say... I don't know how much you know about things after Supernatural ended. Jared envisioned Jensen playing Cordell Walker but ultimately the role went to Jared. Jensen merely made a cameo appearance on walker with his bow legs and also directed the Walker episode "No Such Thing as Fair Play". Funny enough, this is the episode where they are at a street fair/carnival like event. It is in the movie Dumbo where the elephants, including Dumbo (eventually with Timothy's help) perform at a carnival.

However, Jensen did reject playing a role on Walker, which was said to be for a character with a 1 episode appearance Fenton Cole. He felt directing and playing that role would've been a taller order than he could fulfill, so the role went to Josh Hopkins, who is said to have replaced Jensen on Rust.

I've heard of Jensen and Jared supposedly showering together and other questionable things, adding fuel to the J2 tinhatters fire. Regarding J2M, I agree. Misha is a so called work friend, nothing more and nothing less. We could talk about the Prequelgate situation with the anniversary for it taking place last week, or the AFK (Jared) vs YANA (Misha and Jensen) campaigns happening near the same time with AFK being there first, or the whole Family Business Beer Company LLC being registered before Jared ever became an investor for a bar and also coming up with a wine with Stephen Amell, all of which to say there was some strange unhealthy relationship going on with codependency involved. I agree that there was an unhealthy codependent relationship between Jensen and Jared. Maybe to an extent it's still true but ultimately, I don't think they have been true "brothers" for a long time. Their "brothership" was played up by the cast and J2 because it is their on screen relationship as Sam and Dean Winchester that made the show work as long as it did. Why wouldn't people want to see the brotherhood be the same offscreen? If people saw they disagreed or were unhappy offscreen or fighting while the show was going on, it would've killed the magic for people. Prequelgate certainly killed the magic for a lot of this Fandom and very much divided it up as being Jared vs Jensen.

I wrote in another answer to a different ask I think Jared in ways need to be challenged mentally and emotionally. I have to answer another ask talking about how Jared is afraid of the unknown and did touch some onto how I am a bit disappointed in how he seems very uncomfortable with discussing signs and such. Jared isn't a seer and that's okay. It's concerning people call him intuitive. Yes he's empathetic... but he's no seer and lacks intuition, he's very naive in ways.

In a sense, we could say art imitates life with respect to Gen as Ruby calling Jared as Sam Dumbo. I believe Jared is a lost soul that needs and wants guidance (not saying it to be mean at all). It seems "Dumbo" is looking for his "Timothy" and has yet to find it.

[tijuanabiblestudies]

getting ao3 comments these days is weird because all the fics i have up there are old as balls and i haven't reread them in a million years so i almost don't feel connected to them anymore, so (e.g.) when people copypaste my own writing back to me it's like "huh, did i write that? i guess i did."

but anyway, today i got a comment on the equikat fic i wrote in a fit of madness while homeless in wisconsin, and said comment consisted solely of keysmashes and crying emoji, and it warmed the cockles of my heart

[chaoticwistfulness]

Jensen referring to Misha as "my friend"** during the closing ceremony when earlier he *checks notes* implied he refers to him as his boyfriend...

and he sang Angeles and they wrote and sang a destiel-cockles song during their panel, he wore the cockles necklace, they hugged, he unicorn laughed, they told dirty jokes and made heart eyes at each other...

He really is Dean 🤣🤣

Hey, Cas! You wanna know why your husband keeps calling you buddy?

Because...

DESTIEL IS COCKLES' FAULT

💙💚

------------

**He could have just said Misha or he lol. It was actually a nice moment, I'm just being silly. They were trying to get misha on board with singing Carry On My Wayward Son, but he didn't want to and Jensen said "he just gave me the serious 'I'm not gonna do it' but like in a way I know my friend means it, so we're not gonna do it, sorry"

And he also called him buddy earlier lol