#iamtrying

[writeraid]

Okay y'all, google is giving me no luck and this is actually driving me up the wall that I can't figure It out. From what I can tell, there are at least two instances of MK popping up in Animated Marvel Shows (Not counting What if because at the time of posting that hasn't actually come out yet) One being Ultimate Spiderman and another that I cannot for the life of me figure out. I've seen some gifs and screencaps out there but no one ever seems to like..specify which one it is and there are so many animated Marvel projects out there. The reason why It's bothering me is, surprisingly, not the need to consume every single media with a character I'm interested in in it (If that was the case I would've figured out some way to read the comics by now - iamtrying) but because I swear I know that art style. Like a part of me thinks I've seen the show it's from at some point in passing because it looks familiar. Google has been of no help, and I'm starting to feel a teensy bit like I somehow woke up in a parallel dimension. (kidding...mostly.).

Moral of the story - WHAT IS IT FROM???? Don't even care if it's not on anything, I just wanna know. Like this is actually torturing me. send help.

[cheyenneisarose]

images flash through my mind of what love is to me

love is freshly lit fire gently burning to keep you warm

love is fresh dew on the morning grass

love is natural

but love can easily be mimicked by maniacs

indulging in the sins of life

live fast die young, right? that's what you always spoke before breaking down more walls

love became long nights

love became tear stained pillows from last nights makeup

love became shattered skin, and a stutter

love became less of a fantasy

less of a cozy cottage,surrounded by blooming buds and animals coming out of hibernation

love became numbing, more of a bore

or was that just you?

numb and a bore

or is that just another image flashing through your mind?

[themystiquesposts]

Idk what it is that's happening

Stuck between 2 opinions..never felt so tensed

I dont know who shall I be just to..to myself or the others..

One side..there's someone who started believing in happiness..and thn..one who is looking for it..n then ...its me.

Sunlight shines equally for every flower in a garden but sm die..and some bloom..is it the same case with ppl???

Idk how anyone would feel about getting constantly torn apart because you choose to keep the other person's belief safe with u.

Enduring pain..is it the last thing im supposed to do on dis planet ??

Haven't i my life ??

But then..how cum is it my life..?

Like..idk..but after getting to know..U r d second child..I feel..it's my brother who deserved this..life

He came pure..went pure !

I'm smtimes envious of him..

But I'm obviously oblivious of many things .

Ignorant or just mayb I don't wanna open my eyes.

Mayb it's a dream..but in dis dream..I hv realised the true potential man has in him..the potential to destroy .

I'm not a good person ik dat very well

I make mistakes I hurt ppl..but is it really the reason y m feeling so depressed ??

It feels like as if it were seconds ago..when I was sitting in d sunlight.. with a strand of hair covering half of my eye

And I was euphoric.

Mayb it was some years back..the last time I laughed without any load on my heart..

Mayb it has been years now..that ive lost myself just fearing what might happen on letting go of the grip..

Mayb it's meant to be smthng else..

But..how should I let go

None can have it all

But then..I don't even have some !

Y is it that I compromise just to keep the heart safe.

I don't want this !

I don't.

And y on earth anyone would want it?

I just don't know..U ask me how m I doing I say all good.

End of the matter.!

[justlet-me-sleep-blog]

So, I almost finished my Midoriya mask 👌 It is made as a present for my friend~ It's really fun to make, and I like the design, so I will maybe make another one, but this time for myself. It's not perfect yet, tho I am prerry proud of myself. ^^ #cosplay #maskdiy #diymask #wip #bokunoheroacademia #bnha #bnhacosplay #dekumask #iamtrying https://www.instagram.com/p/Bo3tu46hoam/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1kz1plxhcicbx

[dearlordsanta]

I feel awful...

In school right now, I’m in an English class. I like English and it’s a class I am good at. My professor gives me great feedback and genuinely enjoys my writing which makes me feel great! As part of this class, she has us do a journal that is one to one-and-a-half pages long on any topic. We technically just have to check a box that it’s done, but my conscience won’t let me do that. I am afraid I will get lazy and stop doing it and just check the box since it’s not checked. I figured, I’ll do my journals and provide them for her so she can see I did it. I assumed that since she didn’t require it be shared, she would just see how long it was and give me credit.

I was wrong...

For last week’s journal, I was having a really bad week. When I do my journal for class, I do what I always do. I sit down and I just type until I get it all out in true journal venting style. Whatever comes out, is what I submit for my journal that week. She read through it and her comments on it made me feel awful. She complemented me on my writing saying it was beautifully written, but she feels awful for me. That wasn’t my intention. She gave some grandmotherly advice to take care of myself and a “this too shall pass” kind of message. <This is what I feel awful about. Although, I am touched that she genuinely cared enough to reach out and give advice, so I did email her thanking her.

I am about to start the last week of this class, so I think for my final journal, I will do something more normal. She probably thinks I’m extremely troubled. I was thinking about doing a journal about today because I could probably do a whole journal on just today, but I won’t. I figure I can post about it here because clearly, no one reads this anyway! (haha)

I’ve been doing a lot more for my mental health. I’ve been going out when I can with friends or to get coffee, just so I am not ALWAYS at home. There is nowhere I can go right now and not be stressed out. The last few months, at least once a month I’ve been doing brunch with people from work. It’s been really nice. Today was the day to do that. Plans of brunch, I LOVE brunch. Love mimosas, love coffee, love brunch.

Today was a little bit busy for a day off. I had a doctor’s appointment the other day and my PC doctor is concerned about some stuff that’s been going on with me (I won’t go into detail just because medical stuff grosses me out lol). She ordered some fasting bloodwork for me to do. Since I spend a lot of time at home, I was worried about doing these. So, I decided to sleep through the fast. 

I get off work at 8am, so I stayed up as late as I possibly could Sunday morning. I made it until 2pm. I ate something before I crashed, turned on my audiobook and went to sleep. With only one brief interruption to get up and feed my dogs their dinner, I slept until 3am. I still had three hours to kill before I could do the testing, so I took a shower, did my nails, and placed an online order for groceries. I also had an at-home blood test thing to do for work that requires fasting, so I did that too since I had already fasted. At 6am, I went to get my bloodwork done and then had a snack because I couldn’t wait until 9:15am to eat again, I was STARVING (lol).

At 8am, I dropped off the at-home blood test to FedEx so it could be sent out today, picked up the grocery order, went home to put away the grocery order, and then went to brunch with my co-workers.

The food wasn’t anything to write home about, but the coffee was amazing! I had a great time hanging out and catching up with my co-workers in a social setting. By the time I was heading home, I felt pretty good, but definitely ready to be home.

When I got home, my husband was near the tail-end of a flare up. I felt the caregiver’s guilt. It’s the kind of guilt you don’t understand until you’re a caregiver. He was uncomfortable, in pain, and needed help...and I wasn’t there. Not only was I not there...I was out having fun while he was home and in pain. I felt like an awful wife.

I gave him some medicine and some water with electrolytes, then some hot food that would be easy on his stomach. After about an hour he started feeling a little better and I came in here to write.

I feel like I am always running on fumes. He doesn’t know that I wake up all the time to check on him. I wonder if he sees how much I stress about him not having the medicine he needs or making sure we have the right foods for bad health days (soft, easy to digest). On days I am working I feel like I’m being torn apart. On my off days, I just feel like I should be doing more, I just don’t have the energy. 

I don’t know how to get out of this, but if I don’t figure something out soon, I think I might break.

[wulf-dad]

Trying

I have made mistakes, my life has been turned upside down, I have known more hurt and fear over the past few years than I knew was possible.

I fell in love many years ago, 20+, with an amazing person. We were inseparable. We had people try to get between us but we stood together as one and beat them all. We got married and had a family.

Then a few short years ago this wonder of my life realized that  she was, and had always been, a he. I panicked, I felt betrayed, and I was scared for both myself as well as for him. 

He tried to tell me that everything would be alright and I would crawl out of my fear and he would comfort me. I would then become scared again and retreat, snapping, threatening, and spouting hate the whole time, but he would stand there and take it and then love me again. This pattern went on for almost five years. Then the relationship ended and my comfort, my rock, and my partner were gone. 

He was not an angle he had an affair because he needed and outlet and try as I might I failed him many times during those five years. That did not make the affair the right thing to do and it caused things to get worse. He lied to me, to save my feelings, many times and lying in a relationship makes it go toxic even faster, and believe me we both went toxic.

I was also his biggest cheerleader and I stood by his side when family, friends or the world would push back. See there is nothing wrong with someone discovering who they are. There is nothing wrong with the other parties hurting and being afraid just like the person making the discovery. During our moments of clarity I saw the person he was becoming. Most of that person was even more amazing, there were selfish time as he figured things out and as I learned what it meant to love a person not a package.

  After we separated and divorced I had time to look back on the lessons I learned. I learned that he had dealt with this for almost forty years and had done an unreal job at dealing with it. I learned that the fear and hurt that I spewed out had done more damage than I realized because he took and came back for more. I learned that all the things that made him special were still there and were now amplified a million times over. I learned that this person was still the person I wanted to be with and die with.

I am still very afraid, because I pushed him for so long. He has walls up unlike anything I have ever seen and they are there to protect him from me. The frustration comes in now because I talk through problems, I mean I talk them into the ground. He takes it inside and processes it and mulls it over and will only discuss it when and if he has need for additional information to consider. This causes great difficulty most of the time because I am the one being pushed away and I try to take it but I am struggling to be as strong by myself as he was with me by his side. (hell I don’t know if I am as strong as he is by himself)

You see the fear and hurt were my burden and he willingly shared it. So now I want to be there for him and everywhere I turn I make the wrong move and I get the defensive look, the walls, and the please leave me alone look. 

I am seeking help to learn how to back off which scares and hurts me more than I can say. In the mean time I have to fight my natural tendencies to talk, but anytime even a small window opens I jump through before I realize what has happened. Then I blab on trying to show my support and my desire to be his rock again. This happens till he finally gets me to shut up and leave the topic alone and another wall falls in place. This leads to me trying all over again until I mess up and ask a question, make a comment, or have a certain look cross my face.

I still have a long journey ahead just to get my friend back, but he is worth it. I am learning to keep my mouth shut, sometimes better than others. I am hoping this will allow me to get things off my chest while he relearns that I am, and will always be, here for him. 

Please feel free to give me guidance or a swift kick in the butt while I continue this journey.

@dapperwulf

[yourmikiblog]

Peach Smoothie (i would say 16+ my dudes)((also x reader)) - 2- Nickname (on Wattpad) https://www.wattpad.com/1216765556-peach-smoothie-i-would-say-16%2B-my-dudes-also-x?utm_source=web&utm_medium=tumblr&utm_content=share_reading&wp_uname=MikiMakoya&wp_originator=xQkZc4SvJNHKjvJlPmb5ZiAeFMDoFVhZobl%2BRQQ0rFGJRUzNLD8ahT8zoVI407mF4XZiFnssRT6izWtEddV3c%2Fu1Co2jk%2B1VSr4%2BgfLrrhQ8jtv0iNSXS5%2F%2BNysXIpo6 Ooooh shiiit! What do you suddenly have awesome job offer, but don't wanna be stuck in that business ? Well Shit, Fuck, out of luck! Suck to be yooooou! You don't have a choice, you need more money, because live happened! Little stupid, cracked, try-to-be-funny story that also is wannabe romcom NEED TO ADD IMPORTANT THINK! I am w White ass lil bitch, so I am uncultured, beside basic, and I am not a master of founding information, I can be WROOOOOOOOOONG as shit to some thinks, pleas don't hit, just tell ;-;

[rachellemeyer]

There’s an #interview with me airing at 17.00 TONIGHT on @at5.nl Amsterdam News about #facesontheferry. They kindly gave me the option to do it in English, but I did it in Dutch. So tune in, and if you’re a native, feel free to count all my “foutjes” through the broadcast! 😊 #amsterdam #ndsm #iamanimmigrant #iamtrying #therewise (at NDSM)

[superakuma69]

Look what she has done guys, my gurl hasnt seens jojos yet and she has made a shit meme.

[chelsea-m-jones]

I'm here, here's my evidence! . Only made it to the gym twice this week, everyone in my house is fighting something other than Corona. . #justkeepswimming #iamtrying #mom https://www.instagram.com/p/B9rCZipgd9i/?igshid=k2nkunev02kx

[diamond-girls-posts]

... It's not good... But I am trying... 😂... :) #new #notgoodatthis #drawing #originalcharacter #gottacatchemall#artwork #digitalart #digitaldrawing #digital #anime #iamtrying https://www.instagram.com/p/B8_FGYtKPT6/?igshid=q2jqyx394opg

[arnaitikshah]

😎Lean body tuning!! Step1 completed!💪🏻 #iamtrying #leanbody #bodytuning (at Surat, Gujarat) https://www.instagram.com/p/B8VvXZRFptP/?igshid=a0z69b5e9es3

[famekiller]

Slapped on some makeup today to help me feel less funky. Then it's a 3 day weekend where I'll sleep probably all of those days. 😐😐😐 . . . . . #iamtrying #selfiesaturday #needpositivity #work #mlem #makeup #strawberryblonde https://www.instagram.com/p/B11m4aWpFEF/?igshid=vn9rbl048l5l

[yourmikiblog]

Peach Smoothie (i would say 16+ my dudes)((also x reader)) - 1- Free Week (on Wattpad) https://www.wattpad.com/1211757672-peach-smoothie-i-would-say-16%2B-my-dudes-also-x?utm_source=web&utm_medium=tumblr&utm_content=share_reading&wp_uname=MikiMakoya&wp_originator=ZsLTRzBnXervB%2BwCdrZZTQCl58Lrhobm2w3HbDhtsIkbtdr118mJm6fOyN0DkFOMMFd2016ISldwdmjRzpOfGmOaMVsXoKS4cDUjKnqsQMiwFu17mxhqMqZo4nhV8%2BKd Ooooh shiiit! What do you suddenly have awesome job offer, but don't wanna be stuck in that business ? Well Shit, Fuck, out of luck! Suck to be yooooou! You don't have a choice, you need more money, because live happened! Little stupid, cracked, try-to-be-funny story that also is wannabe romcom NEED TO ADD IMPORTANT THINK! I am w White ass lil bitch, so I am uncultured, beside basic, and I am not a master of founding information, I can be WROOOOOOOOOONG as shit to some thinks, pleas don't hit, just tell ;-;

[15001700tt]

LOTTO-PART 1

The boys were super relaxed about this they were going to have fun more than figuring out their enemy. As always all of them are dressed very handsomely and did not look they belonged anywhere else they dispersed into the crowds and began to find their own amusement while also keeping tabs on their surrounding by earpieces. They could categorize every person in the room it was like second nature to them.

The club was full of fancy white dresses with diamonds sparkling and glitter everywhere even on the guys. The girls have already split up to go do their respectful jobs as discussed. Chloe and Nat are at the bar as bartenders. And R.J. was at the back door guarding. The girls were covering two pool table Alex and Kat on one and Zoe and Rach on the other walking around would be Ji mi and Kara. And so their night began. It was off with a good start they blended in perfectly with their expensive dresses and covered faces.

After about an hour the boys vaguely saw about 6 girls walk in fitting in perfectly. two took seats at Minseok and Kai table. Two more go sit down at Lay and Chen’s table. The other two were roaming around but that's not what made them catch their eyes it was they couldn't read them. Like they were trained to be able to have that posture. They knew they got them they had to admit that they were good as good as them but the boys have been doing this for longer.

Pool table 1

Alex and Kat headed straight to the pool table on the Far right. They saw two vacant seats next to two very good looking men. The black haired guy sat at the top of the table looking he owned the place. He doesn’t but he has a high position. Alex sat on his right. The blonde dude sat on the same side as her but on the far end. Kat sat on his right. He looked bored of the game and would soon leave but made no movement what so ever. He constantly watched others as they fidgeted or drummed their fingers against the table or left with bankruptcy filing their pockets.

The new round began and soon the girls started making money. It wasn’t noticeable so any untrained eye moved past them. They were winning money faster than anyone they have watched. The two guys, they could subtly see the ear pieces. They were good at concealing them having their hair long and down. And because they had identical ones in their ears.

“ è loro?” (Is it them?) *its google translated Italian DISCLAIMER*

“Penso quindi, tenga d'occhio.” (I think so, keep an eye) Minseok said. He kept the talk short just so they won’t suspect anything. The girls didn’t  notice for a while. The guys watched very closely.  They noticed the girls were glancing at each other with some sort of panic. The guys were surprised they caught on faster than they thought. 

“They know we’re here we gotta act fast”  Kai whispered without getting caught. The girls acted faster. Again they surprised the boys, instead of both getting up at the same time, the girl next to Kai got up first making Kai glance at her briefly with a smirk on his face. Then the girl next to Minseok got up shortly after making him barely look at her leaving form. “They’re on the move” Minseok stated 

“I see two more at the bar” Chan Yeol stayed as he and Sehun made their way to the bar. 

“Wait a while then follow them do not let them out of your sight” Baekhyun ordered.

“Sure, but where are the other two?” Lay asked, looking around searching.

“We got visual on only four of the six…”Chen said. He wondered what those girls were up to as he sipped his wine.

“Leave that to me and D.O., we’ll handle it” Baekhyun answered. As he made his way to the common floor to find the girl in the off-white dress. When his eyes locked on her figure.

“Visual” he whispered.

“I hope we get some answers soon...” Suho stated, sighing as he leaned on the high table he was at.

[princesscindyrina]

As if.. at least I am trying...🤭 #princescindyrina #soluxeprotein #proteinshake #healthyliving #exercise #healthsupplement #iamtrying #lifestyle https://www.instagram.com/p/B0mqZ6GpR6R/?igshid=tgf3g8tb3paz