#idek it’s 1 am and i’m ranting

[pumpkinpie59]

me when the idw romances for the boys are all terrible

(except tribangelo)

[hanakou-often]

I just happened to stumble upon your blog.. and I never really thought about HanaKou before, but these posts are very compelling. I love seeing other people’s ships in things and would love to be convinced into them.. heh. I’ve sort of fallen out of tbhk recently because the most recent arc hasn’t been compelling to me PARTLY BECAYSE KOU AND NENE AND HANAKO DONT KNOW EACH OTHWR?!?!? Which is really depressing, because I like them a lot. Ermm idk where I’m going with this I just was scrolling through the blog like “heh.. they’re cute I want to know more..” and now here I am. Please excuse my nonsense blabber idek if this makes sense 😔

Oh boy. Despite Hanakou being my hyperfixation for around 3 years, I still don't feel equipped to salesman my way into convincing someone 😭 most of my love for them has just come from PURE brainrot so I'll try my best to actually formulate more logical reasons why I like this sinking ship as much as I do. Long ass spoiler-filled rant incoming!!

1. Narrative Foils

A narrative foil is a character that contrasts another character, often the protagonist, to highlight certain aspects of their characters. Think Kabru and Laios from Dungeon Meshi, Sayaka and Kyoko from Madoka Magica, Draco and Harry from Harry Potter, etc.

To begin, Kou is a 'weak,' naive exorcist who always fights for justice and to protect the people he loves out of his own volition. Since he is the underdog of his family clan, the mediocre middle child next to his eldest exorcist extraordinaire brother, Kou is willing to do anything to prove his worth. This is primarily exhibited by his first meeting with Hanako as he recklessly plunges into a battle with the most powerful ghost in Kagome despite his inexperience with his weapon. When he's confronted about such, Kou states, "I don't care what happens to me as long as I can protect everyone!" and if that doesn't sum up his ideology, I don't know what does. He is shown to be the type of person to put everyone's safety, happiness and livelihood above his own, ultimately leading his selflessness to be his own detriment.

Contrarily, Hanako is a strong, knowledgable apparition who is given the role to protect students of Kamome, regardless of his detachment from the student body, as a way of atonement. As the long standing executive leader of the seven mysteries, Hanako has grown largely apathetic towards everyone, easily taking the cold, calculated and unconventional routes to reach the outcome he deems best no matter who it would hurt in the process. This is exemplified many times in the manga but to pick a lighter one: The time Hanako confessed to Nene under the kodama tree without telling her before hand that it wasn't real, leading him to hurt her feelings. It's clear that Hanako is the type of person to value his own goals and interests above everyone else's input, making him the more selfish antithesis to Kou's "selflessness."

Their differences in philosophy are really striking at times. Kou is endlessly optimistic while Hanako is more pessimistic, seeing the grimmer aspects of reality that Kou usually neglects. For example, Nene's lifespan has been a divisive topic between them for a while. Hanako had known about it from the start, originally intending to keep the poor girl in ignorant bliss for how much time she had left. At the point of the reveal in the clock keeper arc, he had no plans on trying to change her fate, solemnly stating that "there are things in this world that must not be changed...It's better for Yashiro this way." This is a direct contrast to Kou's more 'human' perspective as he immediately protests Hanako's claim of "There is nothing you can do," passionately asserting that he won't give up, he'll do whatever it takes save her and that is final. In the face of a dark reality, Kou completely rejects it, choosing to believe there's hope, like the naive son of a gun Hanako knows he is. From personal experience, Hanako knows it's stupid, it's idiotic, it's downright suicidal to go up against fate but somehow he ends up hoping Kou is right, trailing "I'm counting on you" as they settle back into a world that will never be the same after this revelation between them. (Something something Their differences are key to propelling the plot forward since Kou is the one to inspire Hanako not to just let Nene's life go by!!)

All of this is not to say they don't have anything in common. In fact, they are united by their desire to save the people they care about, grounded in their ruthless determination to see out their goals and are self sacrificing to an extent. I would love to go deeper on this topic but I'm afraid my brain is already starting to fry lol. In short, their differences are what make them interesting as a duo!! Each of their qualities can compliment the other's contrasting attributes and as people say, opposites attract!!!

2. Pivotal Roles in each other's Narrative

Hanakou are very important to each other's story since they are a key player in both their humble beginnings and tragic ends. Respectively, they are each other's gateway to a new life. Much like Nene, Kou is a symbol of hope for Hanako, his spunky attitude and determined nature igniting a humanitarian spark that Hanako lacked in the sixty years he lingered Kamome. For Kou, Hanako is the first apparition he meets, the one that sets off his rocky journey with navigating the world of supernaturals as a lackluster exorcist, and the second person to fuel his fire by believing in him. Specifically, Hanako tells Kou he looks forward to the day he can expel him with ease, a statement that foreshadows their distant future. In order to complete their whole character arcs (Hanako going from stubbornly clinging to the near shore to repent to accepting he's done every to atone and ready to pass on; Kou starting off weak and naive then ending as a stronger exorcist capable of understanding both the supernatural world and humanity) they'll have to do exactly what Hanako anticipated: Exorcise him once and for all. This aspect of their relationship is something intricately intertwined with their fates and while AidaIro may have forgotten about it, I can only hope they'll deliver so that they can bring their narratives full circle.

Now in the context of a romantic relationship, there are some absolutely soul crushing implications here. The hands Hanako loves to admire, intertwine his fingers with and adore are the same ones that will ultimately be his demise. Kou is Hanako's deathbed. That’s what they’ve known all along. It’s something that looms over their heads with a lingering heaviness neither boy wants address: Kou wanting to silently avoid his crushing responsibility while Hanako is just trying to savor whatever time he has with Kou. It's doomed just like everything else in TBHK <3

3. Young Exorcist arc

This one goes hand and hand with the second point but I felt that this needed to be discussed on its own since it's where many Hanakouers (ME) really took interest in their relationship. The arc begins with Kou being pulled aside by Teru, the two having a conversation about how Kou was supposed to immediately exorcise any seven mysteries he encounters. When Kou fumbles around him, insisting that he can't find it in himself to see Hanako as a bad supernatural, Teru is quick to remind him that "There is no such thing as a 'good supernatural'" and promptly takes him off the case. He was going to take matters into his own hands but the moment Kou looks at him with pleading eyes, Teru decides to give him more time to carry the duty out.

This is where Kou sets off to find Hanako, get some irrefutable proof that he's not evil like the generalization Teru makes. The effort he puts here into defending Hanako is absolutely adorable, if not a testament to their potential then a testament to Kou's sweet character. The suspicion he's built as he spies on Hanako who saunters around with a sack of stolen items is broken once the ghost explains that he's gathering them to return to their rightful owners. As stated previously, Hanako’s noble deeds are done more as a way to atone rather than out of his own good will so to see that he went out of his way to return stolen items to students, one of which being Kou’s safety earring, without being obligated to do so is great evidence to support Kou's idea that supernaturals can be good. Given this, Kou decides right then and there that he won’t exorcise Hanako after all. Now, Hanako here could have reveled in this decision, his kind act successfully manipulating Kou into compliance with his schemes, but instead, Hanako shows him exactly why he shouldn’t give up.

He cares for the kid. He does. Which is why he has to show how wrong he can be. It’s a downright dangerous thought because it lures Kou into a false sense of security that all supernaturals can be “good” like Hanako.

Cue Teru's dramatic entrance where he immediately apprehends the offending apparition and tries to execute him (for good reason). Blah blah blah Teru is condescending towards Kou because he made the wrong call again, something something Kou is trapped in Teru's bead bracelet and question his view of Hanako once more. For a moment, Kou almost gives into despair, letting Teru exorcise him without another word. After all, what does Kou know about the supernatural world? He's a weak link to Teru's infinite knowledge, power and experience. Maybe he should just let him do what he deems best.

However, as Hanako objects to his sentencing, screaming that “death would only be a release” and he still has so much to do here, it reminds Kou that Hanako is here for a reason. Sure, he’s an apparition, something that’s synonymous with evil, but all that time they spent together has to mean something, right? Hanako indulges Nene and Kou, joking around, Hanako has indulged Kou when no one else believed in him, he's saved them when he easily could’ve left them to their own devices. That definitely means something. Suddenly, Kou breaks free from the beaded prison, charges in the middle of the battle field and grips Teru's blade with an iron fist, all to save Hanako.

Just look at that. Kou slit his own palm trying to protect Hanako, someone he vowed to erase just weeks ago, because he's willing to give him the benefit of the doubt. He defies his brother, someone he highly admired for the past fourteen years of his life, for Hanako’s sake. Kou’s change in attitude towards his exorcist duties is largely attributed to Hanako. The sole notion of Hanako, the not so evil supernatural, has turned Kou’s world completely upside down.

I'll never forgive the anime for omitting this arc, not only because it excludes a pivotal moment in their relationship but also because it deprived an enriching detail to their development!!! Oh my god. Kou finally stands up for himself and owns up to his naivety. He knows he’s stupid for jumping from one extreme conclusion to the other before he has fully understood everything Hanako has to offer but he can no longer side with Teru’s one note view of him or supernaturals in general, lest more decent apparitions be erased without cause. He brings a level of nuance to the function that Teru does not appreciate!! When Kou decides to vouch for Hanako, undertaking the massive responsibility to watch over him all on his own, it shows a lot of growth in his maturity and his perspective of the ghost.

So yeah. A lot to say about the young exorcist arc. Not only has it deeply impacted the Minamoto brothers relationship, but it has brought a significant change within Kou’s mindset. He’s no longer trying to label Hanako as a definitive good or bad but trying to deepen his understanding of him and decide what to do from there. As for Hanako, he seems to respect Kou more now, giving credit where credit is due, and feels as though their bond is strengthened by the vulnerable state they saw each other in. He even acknowledges this in the first chapter of ASHK when Teru comes in to “help clean" by immediately taking cover behind Kou and questioning the commitment he made to keep Teru at bay. It's also weirdly sweet to see Hanako taking cover behind Kou here!! It really goes to show how much trust they've built for each other and how safe Hanako feels around the exorcist C:

To sum it all up, the young exorcist arc was an important part of showing how Hanakou work together and cement how their views of humanity/supernatural world are shifting because of each other!! I didn't get to talk about it too much but they also have a bunch of cute moments here which sorta feeds to the next point.

4. Classic Bromance to Romance

A bromance is defined as a quote en quote "close, friendly but non-sexual relationship between two men" and that's more or less what Hanakou brings to the table!!! First and foremost, they are complete opposites in a lot of their personality traits which makes it fun to see how they interact. Hanako's pervyness to Kou's disciplined innocence, Hanako's mischief to Kou's gullibility, Hanako's love of teasing to Kou's fiery denials, it's all just so entertaining to watch!!! They bounce off each other sorta like a coke and mentos relationship where on their own, they're absolutely fine but when they're together BOOM explosions, dumb arguments, rough housing 24/7, etc, etc. Just take a look at the shenanigans they get up to in this panel.

How? Just how did they get here? They used to be enemies, they're still supposed to be enemies but here they are, a hopeful descendent of a powerful exorcist clan and an executive leader of a important supernatural group, just play fighting with a mop and broom like they're no better than two clumsy best friends goofing off on their free time. I love their little bromance so much because it's the result of their growth during the many adventures they've had together. URUGHH After they've been through, it's deeply endearing to realize that they really are just boys being boys at their core!! C:

Now moving onto the romance part, I want to preface this with how I do believe men should be allowed to have intimate platonic relationships with each other without having to get accused of being gay but alas, I fear Hanakou's closeness as friends can easily pave the way for something more as they blur the line between friendly and flirty banter.

It's already been established that Hanako feels safe enough to be his usual self around the exorcist, knowing that no matter how mischievous, touchy and downright despicable Hanako can be, Kou won't ever hurt him. It's a sweet sort of trust that can be explored further with some typical bromance shenanigans, IE Hanako gets bored and decides to test Kou's boundaries just for the hell of it. At first, it's only joke flirting and some harmless teasing here and there. Maybe a lingering touch or two (only to push some buttons of course). Most of the time, Hanako finds this endeavor to be deeply rewarding since Kou reacts in a way that Nene doesn’t, his responses leaning into his more physical, boyish volatility as he either bashfully pushes Hanako away, chases him off or just straight up punches him in the arm, visibly flustered. The reactiveness encourages Hanako to keep upping the ante to the point where it's more unusual for him not to mess with Kou. It's grown into a bad habit of his: snaking his arms around Kou's shoulders, fiddling with his fingers with reverent fascination, sneaking glances at the boy and making funny faces in the hopes he'll look back and laugh, etc, etc. As Kou gets used to Hanako's antics overtime, his extreme reactions gradually diminish and it's becoming increasingly clearer that Hanako isn't (wasn't?) just doing it because "he's bored" anymore. No, it's something worse. With a sinking clarity, Hanako realizes boredom isn't the driving reason for being around Kou anymore, it's fondness of the cute (flustered) expressions he makes, it's the giddiness that swells in his chest when Hanako manages to make him smile, the electricity that floods his system when Kou flirts back, it's...something else he does not want to dissect. And so, Hanako will bury this revelation under the belief it's due to his unfamiliarity of friendship. Fifty years of isolation has to do a number to your perception of romance vs friendship, right???

Meanwhile, Kou is committed to the promise he made in the young exorcist arc so he's usually admiring from afar watching over Hanako to make sure he's in line and keeping an eye on Hanako isn't hard as of late; they're spending more time together before, during and after school and as much as he doesn't want to admit it, he genuinely enjoys the company. Kou likes what they have, it's good that they can rely on each other and still leave room to joke around but to be honest, Kou has some...weird feelings towards Hanako. Every time their eyes meet his heart skips a beat, whenever he lets his mind wander it usually finds its way back to Hanako, their friendly banter stuck in his head, and for whatever reason, Kou's body can't seem to forget the ghost's touch, even long after he's fucked off to who knows where. There's something different about it. It's not the detestation he had when he first met Hanako, nor is it the quaint glee he had when he decided to not exorcise him. It's something completely new, something foreign that has his stomach doing flips every time he sees Hanako's bright smile or hears his stupid laugh. Kou tries not to think about it too much, lest he gives Hanako exactly what he wants, so he just chalks it up to his view of supernaturals being challenged. After all, going from believing all supernaturals are dangerous, evil vermin that need to be exterminated to voluntarily hanging out with such a friendly one is bound to stir up some mixed feelings, right?

Do you see my vision now? The bromance to romance pipeline would be unreal with these two confused idiots!! There's so much room for the internalized homophobia, the confusion of trying to differentiate friendly feelings from the clusterfuck of emotions the other boy evokes and the funny fumblings of two teenage boys letting the joke flirting go a bit too far like a game of gay chicken gone wrong. Their relationship speaks to me in a way that can only be described as the entertainment you get from mixing two reactive substances and waiting for the inevitable chaos that proceeds. Even if you don't ship Hanakou romantically, you gotta admit their dynamic is super fun to explore!! C:

5. Other characters reactions

I swear I’m taking this somewhat seriously but I really enjoy the more wholesome aspects of this ship!! Nene being the third wheel to her two guy best friends, the LEAST romantic people she knows, is something that is deeply entertaining to me <3 She came into Hanako's life wishing for a boyfriend, failed to get one and then had to watch him get one himself. She would be so happy for them but at the same time, she'd be fighting demons trying to figure out how these two IDIOTS got more rizz than she does. (How much aura do you lose for this LMAOOOO)

Then you got Teru which if you liked this aspect of Mitsukou where Teru disapproves of his brother dating a school mystery then hooo boy YOU’LL LOVE HANAKOU!! Whatever apprehension he has towards Mitsukou it's increased tenfold because it’s one thing to date a school mystery, it’s a whole other thing to date not only the ghost of a murder but the LEADER of the seven mysteries??? Teru would absolutely flip his shit, wasting no time to charge into Hanako’s bathroom and expel him right then and there the SECOND he finds out (AND I DON'T BLAME HIM!! he just doing his job fr). I’ve been told it’s sorta like a Romeo and Juliet situation where two star crossed lovers are kept apart by a long-standing feud between their opposing houses (Montagues and Capulets WHO? I only know the Minamoto clan and Seven Mysteries) and I think that can just about sum it up!!

6. Hanako-San (ASHK)

This post is already as long as it is so I’ll save you the trouble of attempting an analysis and copy and paste my ramble from another post: “In regards to HanaKou discourse, I've always seen people say 'Kou's into Mitsuba!!' or 'they're just platonic besties! Plus Kou rejected Hanako!!!' and sure, maybe Kou doesn't have a thing for Hanako but has anyone REALLY stopped to consider Hanako has a thing for Kou??? And just. Didn't process it because of internalized homophobia AND his crush on Nene overshadowing his feelings for Kou??? Because THIS chapter had NO RIGHT to be so fruity on Hanako's part” and yeah why is the first thing Hanako decides to do when he turns into a girl is flirt with Kou??? And an even better question is why did he genuinely sulk when Kou rejected him??? If you didn't mean it why were you so butt hurt then huh??? Hanako really is the type of guy to passively think "if Kou was a girl or if I was a girl, I'd date him 100%" and it definitely shows!!!

7. Fanfiction. So. Much. Fanfiction.

This one doesn't have much to do with canon but it's more than likely why some people (ME) began to ship Hanakou!! My personal experience was I thought they were sorta interesting and I checked on ao3 to see if there were any others who thought the same. To my surprise, there were a bunch of fics lovingly written for them already and out of curiosity I started reading one. One became two, two became three, then suddenly I was tumbling down the rabbit hole feverishly consuming whatever I could get my grubby little hands on. As you've stated, seeing others' passion can be pretty compelling reason to start shipping something and I totally agree!!! Exploring the dynamics in such a freeing medium like Fanfiction can be much more invigorating than just reinterpreting canon so do give it a try if you're interested!! I promise Hanakou nation is a welcoming space and we'd be delighted to see more people on board with these two idiots C:

END

AUGHHHH I struggled to find the right words to express my thoughts but I hope it gave you a better understanding of Hanakou!! These two really are my Roman Empire and despite how much I floundered around this post, I am genuinely grateful for the opportunity to share my visions!!! Thank you so much for asking C:

[meia-stounor-194]

ooc: js an intro for my pjo oc !! this is an rp acc for her, interact plz !!

hey, i’m meia stounor. cabin 194 (Melpomene)

(MY NAME IS PRONOUNCED MEEYUH. I DO NOT KNOW WHY IT IS SPELT LIKE THAT.)

some background info: i grew up poor with my father, an aspiring actor. he never made it. when he married my rich step-mother, they both changed. they both hated me, so i ran away at 11 and found CHB. i literally waited FOR. EVER. to find out my mom.

weapon: bow and arrow, but i’m not the best

powers: my words. quite literally. i mean, muse of tragedy, my words make people so sad they cant function. not as cool but… yeah

lesbian, any pronouns.

born in russia (can speak russian)

16 (09/09/09)

adhd and dyslexia (obvi) but also sprinkle a bit of autism in there. kinda anemic (dont tell the infirmary)

fatal flaw: lack of self-control

hobbies: playing cello, violin, lyre, bass, guitar (im very talented with stringed instruments) but i also enjoy reading and writing. and theater, obviously

favorite play: julius caesar or hamlet

number of times banned from infirmary: 4 (stealing fentanyl. maybe they shouldnt have it in such clear sight?? huh??)

number of times banned from capture the flag: 5 (cheating or… well, idek)

number of times banned from the Aphrodite cabin: 1 (trying for 2) (dont ask how)

i’m usually in w the Demeter kids (aka my gf, Dreena)

do NOT bring up opera. i WILL start a 24 hour rant about how much i absolutely ADORE it.

favorite song: Dido and Aeneas, Z. 626, Act III: No. 37, When I Am Laid In Earth “Dido’s Lament”

favorite album: the magic flute

trying to get chiron to lift my ban from leaving camp in the middle of the night!! sign the petition on the door of the big house b4 chiron sees it!!

ALSO, i am OBSESSED with cherry coca cola !! stealing it from cabin 12 is my favorite hobby lolzz

(what i mean by that is i will leave in the middle of the night for my night shift at the tattoo parlor. i usually will have a new hair color too. and money.)

and if u ask “who gets a tattoo in the middle of the night??” idk why either. they js do. americans, right?

пока!!

[nihilismtrcit]

ranting/oversharing/whatever under the cut but tldr; pls pls bare with me if my activity becomes weird or if i’m not liking stuff/commenting as much/ taking forever to do wcifs....that sort of thing. i’ve got a lot going on, but i love u all sm and only have to get thru 1 and a half more months of the school year and then you guys will see waaaayyy too much of me all summer long 😉

i’m a teacher in a special education inclusion class so it’s co-teaching. there’s supposed to be two teachers since we have academically low and behavioral kids who need support. this is my second year working with the same co-teacher. well, long story short, she didn’t get her contract renewed for next year aka she was fired. she always been absolutely miserable and lets it show...gets easily frustrated, does the bare minimum, barely even likes teaching it seems. she’s the type to consistently mess up her own life and then blame everyone else. i’ve seen her go through MULTIPLE side jobs in the two years i’ve known her and each time shes left due to, you guessed it, drama! but she hasn’t figured out that she is the problem. 

so anyway now the consequences of her own actions have caught up with her and she doesn’t have a job for next year even though she has to finish out the remainder of this year. and she’s PISSED. she has nothing left to lose since she already knows she won’t be back next year. our building is short-staffed, plus she has a contract for this year so there’s not much they can do. but she’s 100% done trying. she’s using up her sick days, so she hasn’t been here in a bit. which leaves me to scramble and do the work of two people. she’s also attempting to, essentially, commit fraud by trying to go out on disability. so idek if she’ll be back 

oversharing about all this to say, my days are now incredibly hectic and i am very busy and tired. i barely have time to sit down, let alone be on tumblr during the day sadly. so i’m really sorry if i fall off. it feels super hypocritical to post and expect u guys to interact with my stuff while i’m barely online to see yours. i promise i’ll try to do catch-ups and interact with what i can when i’m online. ❤️❤️❤️ and once summer starts i’ll return to being around much more. 

[martilyongabo]

i know that i don’t really rant explicitly in this blog but like, idek what is happening to my school anymore

had to skip school because my mom got covid. currently asymptomatic but still had a lot of contact with her in the days preceding bc i was taking care of her and we didn’t know she had covid.

school is currently enforcing “2 absences throughout 14 weeks, automatic failure” rule. tell profs about absence beforehand. one of them encourages me to get a medical certificate and have it signed by clinic so that I’m officially excused. follow their instructions and send medical cert to clinic.

clinic responds 1 hour later asking how I am. relay same info from medical certificate AND what I said in the first paragraph. they also ask for a copy of my vaccination card (which is already in their medical record), so i send that too.

2 hours pass, no response. i ask them again and they say that my absence is inexcusable since i am asymptomatic, pursuant to their new guidelines from the school and from the health department in our country. idk if they have forgotten that asymptomatic carriers exist, but it’s whatever to them, i suppose.

so essentially, if i am absent one more time, i fail half of my classes automatically…

[messenger-of-stupidity]

IRL Rant

I just really need to put this somewhere.

Edit: I've decided to just put all my future rants here so I'm not a downer on people's dashboards whatever.

CW: Cursing, ranting, mentions of depression symptoms (nothing to heavy, but I do bring it up.)

Rant 2: social anxiety

Okay to start off, it’s not really important or needed as to why I’m taking the class. All that’s important is that I am.

The fucking thing is called Health Sciences. Which sounds cool, right? It’s “Health science is an interdisciplinary field that involves the application of science to health-related topics, such as medicine, nutrition, and environmental health. It involves applying scientific research to clinical practice, in effort to improve healthcare for patients and communities.” (Which I had to google to find out, but we’ll get to that.)

It’s a term long class, which is nice so I can fit other classes for my major in during this year and not have my brain scrambled with information. 

The problem with the class, is the prof. There’s not a lot of students in the class for whatever reason (maybe they know the the horrible tale of it.) so it’s a fairly small class. Which has lead the prof into thinking she needs to get to know us. Spoiler alert, she doesn’t. It’s not needed, especially since I’ll only be seeing her for a short period. But this has lead to a week long full of introductory things. And these stupid things are what I expect of middle school or some shit. She had us literally make a post-it note with 2 truths and 1 lie, but with our medical history. Because it’s “health sciences related”. It’s so stupid. But hey, if she wants to carry these home to figure out in her free time, be my guest. But my medical history is just that. Mine. Private. But it’s, guess what? A GRADED ACTIVITY! Which idek if she’s allowed to do that. I would talk to my advisor about it, but I’m not that confrontational.

And I know if there’s a problem and I don’t do anything to solve it, I only have myself to blame. But it’s a term long class. I thought if I can sit through it for a term I’ll be fine. I’ll get the required class for my major done and over with and then I can just move the fuck on.

And I’m still going to do that. 

But then there’s the latest assignment. She wants a presentation about who and what motivates us. It’s not health related. Not in the slightest. What the fuck is this shit? I don’t want to do it, but once again... ITS FUCKING GRADED! And considering it’s a short class, every assignment is going to matter. And the class is small, so she has a brilliant idea to have us present it to the class. The presentations have to be between 2-3 minutes long. If it’s not, our grade gets docked. I seriously don’t think she’s allowed to do this but alas once again my fear of confrontation stops me from being able to do anything about it.

I don’t know about the rest of the people in my class, but my depression kind of saps that motivation. Any given day, I have one singular motivation. But no, this presentation needs to be 3-5 slides long. She seriously expects me to have that many fucking motivations? Yeah right. 

But Mess, how does google play into this?

Great fucking question.

SHE HASNT EVEN EXPLAINED WHAT WE’LL BE DOING! Her syllabus is literally just her expectations of our fucking behavior and how to find where the assignments are. 

I’m so fucking fed up and I’m only a week into this class. I can’t even explain how angry I am. 

Rant #2:

I know my family is just trying to help me or whatever. I wanna preface that.

Background info- my stepfather runs rpg games (kinda like DND but more forgiving dice rolls) at a local gaming store for people. My mother sometimes comes along and plays a game on her phone or something just for that presence of quality time. Same energy as reading different books to yourself in the same room.

I have this huge problem with social anxiety irl. It leaks into online life sometimes but it's not as apparent and it's easier to hide the way my hands shake when typing out a comment on a post or something.

Not so easy to hide that shit when I'm standing in front of someone. I'm not saying how old I am specifically since I'm hella paranoid about that kinda thing, but I'm old enough to make my own decisions and all that jazz. But when it comes to social interactions (ordering food, asking where the bathroom is, ect) I struggle. A lot. If you know Komi can't communicate, I'm like that, just a little less extreme. So my parents will help me out if I'm with them sometimes.

But then there are those times where they make my life 10x more difficult. I can talk to them in front of people, granted my voice shakes like a leaf and my whole body is trembling. This was one of those nights.

I was having a banter with my stepfather while I got some research to shadow someone in a few weeks, and I asked him a pointed question. (He's really into 3D printing) I asked how many printers he owned now. The people who were taking part in the game were also throwing comments in, but my socially anxious ass was kinda ignoring them. It was fine tho since my stepfather and mother were acknowledging it though. And he acted like he did when I was younger.

This man really said "if you want the answer you need to go introduce yourself to them." It was only two people, but the way my chest tightened with immediate panic and dread. But I acted my age and went over, staring at my shaking hands and introduced myself. I was this 👌 close to crying. I can't make eye contact with more than three people without having a panic attack. It's bad.

But I did it. When more people arrived, I just ignored them, listened to music, and drew on a scrap piece of paper I found in my bag to calm down. And then I turned back around and now there are 6 people. Whatever. I ask my stepfather is I can show him a disturbing meme I found and if he'll humor my antics and laugh at it. My voice sounded like I was about to cry because I'm talking in a public place. And he did it again. Except now it was; "I will if you introduce yourself to each individual person" and he's smiling as he's saying this.

He's not a bad person. He's actually really nice and one of the best father figures I could ask for.

And I was struggling to not just break down then and there. I got halfway through before just giving up and acting like a child to hide under one of the tables in the game store. My mom managed to help me calm down, but now I feel like a total fool. So I just ask if I can go to her car since she picked me up and drove me here. (Our apartment complex gives us one parking space per apartment and my roommate had the car.) She lets me.

Turns out when I'm an embarrassed anxious mess, I forget how cars work. So I accidentally ran the battery down. We got it jump started luckily but it definitely sucks.

I don't think my stepfather actually realizes the extent to what my anxiety makes me feel. I feel unsafe in my surroundings and my own fucking skin. Tonight just sucks.

Also in case anyone's wondering, yes I am seeing a therapist for this and yes it does make my life difficult.

[anghraine]

I was thinking of why Darcy seems so incredibly relatable, and it’s like ...

1. You know what sucks? Dancing.

“Do you often dance at St. James’s?”

“Never, sir.”

“Do you not think it would be a proper compliment to the place?”

“It is a compliment which I never pay to any place if I can avoid it.”

Look, dancing is fine and cool-looking for other people. For me? Awkward and terrible. Totally avoiding it at every conceivable opportunity (...unless I fall for a girl who’s really into it, I guess).

2. I miss cities :(

“In a country neighbourhood you move in a very confined and unvarying society.”

A lot of people pull a Bingley and are like, well, they both have their advantages and disadvantages, blah blah. But me? No. I’ve lived in small towns for most of my life and it’s suffocating as hell. Sure, it’s a kind of asshole thing to say to your neighbours, but he’s not wrong.

3. The best way to deal with social situations: wandering aimlessly around and only talking to people I already know

[Darcy] declined being introduced to any other lady, and spent the rest of the evening in walking about the room, speaking occasionally to one of his own party.

Like so.

4. A lot of people are good at catching tone and showing expression. Not me!

“I certainly have not the talent which some people possess,” said Darcy, “of conversing easily with those I have never seen before. I cannot catch their tone of conversation, or appear interested in their concerns, as I often see done.”

Right?!

5. Let’s talk about BOOKS

“What a delightful library you have at Pemberley, Mr Darcy!”

“It ought to be good,” he replied, “it has been the work of many generations.”

“And then you have added so much to it yourself, you are always buying books.”

“and to all this she [an accomplished woman] must yet add something more substantial, in the improvement of her mind by extensive reading.”

“What think you of books?” said he, smiling.

“Books—oh! no. I am sure we never read the same, or not with the same feelings.”

“I am sorry you think so; but if that be the case, there can at least be no want of subject. We may compare our different opinions.”

Darcy’s idea of a good time is objectively correct!

6. You should only give in to what other people want if you genuinely believe they’re right

“To yield readily—easily—to the persuasion of a friend is no merit with you.”

“To yield without conviction is no compliment to the understanding of either.”

This!

7. Some people are just so smart and charismatic and appealing that it gets all tangled up in what they look like and idek

he began to find it [her face] was rendered uncommonly intelligent by the beautiful expression of her dark eyes.

LIKE. SO.

8. I shouldn’t respond to people’s strawman arguments, but the temptation is ... so strong ...

“Would Mr Darcy then consider the rashness of your original intentions as atoned for by your obstinacy in adhering to it?”

“Upon my word, I cannot exactly explain the matter; Darcy must speak for himself.”

“You expect me to account for opinions which you choose to call mine, but which I have never acknowledged. Allowing the case, however, to stand according to your representation ...”

The struggle is real!

9. I don’t write quickly, but I do write a lot

“You write uncommonly fast.”

“You are mistaken. I write rather slowly.”

“But do you always write such charming long letters to her, Mr Darcy?”

“They are generally long; but whether always charming it is not for me to determine.”

For a rich and powerful man invented c. 1795, Darcy is determined to be relatable about literally. everything.

10. If I’m holding a grudge about something, you’ll probably hear about it. Over and over and over

“This account then is what he [Bingley] has received from Mr Darcy. I am satisfied. But what does he say of the living?”

“He does not exactly recollect the circumstances, though he has heard them from Mr Darcy more than once.”

(Honestly, it’s pretty funny to me that Darcy just periodically goes on Wickham rants but Bingley only vaguely remembers what he says.)

11. It’s so uncomfortable when strange random people just show up and start talking to you. Like, all you can really do is be vaguely polite and go away. Right?

Mr Darcy was eyeing him with unrestrained wonder, and when at last Mr Collins allowed him time to speak, replied with an air of distant civility. Mr Collins, however, was not discouraged from speaking again, and Mr Darcy’s contempt seemed abundantly increasing with the length of his second speech, and at the end of it he only made him a slight bow, and moved another way.

Right!

I’m sure there’s more, too. Anyway, I love that he’s such an icon, but simultaneously is ... like this. Eternal fave!

[nymph1e]

Okay fuck it, I gotta give in, I gotta watch through Supernatural. AFAIK, it's all on Netflix; at least I saw it on there in passing. Going into this, is there anything I should be aware of? Are there any episodes I should skip, any seasons? Should I start from season 4? I know the basic plot and concept, and I know it's very monster-of-the-week. But aside from me highkey shipping Destiel already, that's all.

Well my first piece of advice would be

but uh, let’s fucking ~GO~

If you’re actually jumping into this hellhole (why why why) don’t start at season 4. It’s tempting, but seasons 1-3 are some of the best shit in the whole show, also having context for Sam and Dean’s characters, and their relationship with the supernatural up to season 4 really highlights how fucking wild the introduction of angels is in the show. it’s basically a complete paradigm shift.

I would recommend you watch seasons 1-5 basically as is, though if you’re in a rush, season three is kinda skippable as long as you read a general synopsis. This is the original arc of the show and it shows. A friend of mine, @sammwinchestersdimples​ has said she’d have been fine if the show had ended there, and I can totally see her point. After season five things start to get... uhhhhh... not as good. THAT BEING SAID some really amazing seasons come later, and you’d get nowhere NEAR the Full Destiel Experience without them. What REALLY sucks is that all the seasons have good moments in them, so even if the seasons are generally bad, they’ll have episodes of GOLD. But fuck it, here’s a season-by-season breakdown.

Season 6 - This is the first... “eh” season. There’s a lot of character choices made in this one that I don’t like. The plot also doesn’t quite seem to know what to do with itself and it has no real main villain... or I guess it has a twist villain? This is also the season where they start chucking in the typical “no homos” you get when a show is queerbaiting, so they can point to the no homo bits and claim the queers are delusional.

Season 7 - The absolute WORST season, imo, is season 7, and it features Cas the least out of all the post season 4 seasons. You can tell the writers genuinely tried to write Cas off here. Not to mention the main plot is completely stupid. HOWEVER this is the season where we get golden things like Cas showing up to Dean’s prayer naked and covered in bees, and the episode where Charlie (best girl) is introduced and Dean subsequently has to flirt with a dude because she, a lesbian, cannot. (Wow so straight, Dean)

Episodes Not To Skip:

6x03 - A good Cas/plot episode (spot the famous destiel quote)

6x04 - A good all-round episode, also Jackles directed it so  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

6x09 - This is one of the Batshit Episodes. Definitely watch.

6x10 - On the one hand, Cas episode. On the other, no homo, megstiel episode. Your choice.

6x11 - Good episode.

6x15 - THE ULTIMATE META EPISODE. Sam and Dean are teleported into Jared Padelecki and Jensen Ackles’ lives on the set of Supernatural and it is so batshit.

6x17 - Jolly good episode, and nice destiel content.

6x18 - Time travel episode, which is always fun.

6x19 - “Baby in a trenchcoat.” ‘Nough said.

6x20 - The Man Who Would Be King is the destiel episode. It is infamous in the fandom, and for good reason. It’s not just a good destiel episode, but one of the best episodes in the series. With banging lines like “Freedom is a length of rope. God wants you to hang yourself with it.” and “For a brief moment, I was me again.”

6x21 & 6x22 - The last two episodes are kind of must-watches after TMWWBK, trust me.

Episodes Not To Skip:

7x01 & 7x02 - follows on from s6 final. You don’t wanna skip.

7x05 - Good general episode

7x06 - Again, good general episode. Sets ups plot for the season.

7x08 - Ugh. So the A plot for this episodes invoves Becky, the insane, stalker, fandom-insert character, roofie Sam into marrying her (and it’s heavily implied they have sex - and it’s treated as a joke despite being LITERAL RAPE). BUT this is the episode where Garth is introduced and Garth is fucking amazing. So. IDEK.

7x10 & 7x11 - Plot important.

7x12 - Time travel episode! See if you can catch the bi!dean moment ;)

7x17 - Cas is back! Or is he???

7x18 - GARTH EPISODE

7x20 - CHARLIE!!!! WATCH THIS EPISODE!!!!

7x21 - Cas episode. It’s... interesting.

7x22 - The tagline for this episode is “Sam and Dean seek out an Alpha” 😭. It’s a Cas episode.

7x23 - If Cas weren’t in this episode I’d say skip it.

Season 8 - A fantastic season. If The Man Who Would Be King is the destiel episode, season 8 is the destiel season. When you watch this, DM me so I can RANT about all the amazing destiel this season. It’s also, again, a great season in general I remember watching it as it was airing it was soooo good. You have the arrival of the Bunker, you have Kevin and Charlie being awesome, some nice sprinkles of batshit episodes, BEST BOY BENNY rocks up in all his glory. Fucking epic season. Only downside it Sam’s character takes a bit of a dive. I’d recommend you watch through all of this season.

Episodes To AVOID:

7x13 - I literally pretend this stupid fucking episode doesn’t exist. Basically Dean impregnates a woman with Super Pregnancy and she has a daughter who becomes an adult within hours and then dies. The end. Everyone hated it. Man fuck this episode. Of course it was written by Buckleming.

Season 9 - Sadly, after how amazing season 8 was, and how spectactularly season 9 was set up, this season is a disappointment. It’s an ok season. It’s not bad, it’s not good, it’s just a bit all over the place.

I was going to give you the normal episode list to not skip, but looking through, most episodes this season should be watched for one reason or another. Either they’re Cas heavy, they do some interesting character building, or they feature one of the awesome side characters like Charlie or Jody.

This season is probably the height of the war in the writers’ room about destiel. Some writers want to no homo the whole thing and back way off, while other writers want to lean into it hard. So in the same season where SPOILER Cas loses his virginity to a random reaper woman and Dean kicks Cas out of the bunker to fend for himself, you also have Cas’ fatal flaw used as propaganda against him by Metatron being that he’s "in love” with humanity Dean. /SPOILER Whatever you do DON’T SKIP THE FINAL FEW EPISODES. TRUST ME.

Season 10 - Haha oh dear. This season is likely the biggest for wasted potential. You saw the end of season 9, right? You go “HOLY SHIT YES LET’S DO THIS” and then they do... season 10. They really became experts at setting up an awesome season only to fuck it up in delivery, right? Again, not a bad season, per se.

Episodes To AVOID:

9x05 - In which Dean wants to fuck a dog. I am not joking. I wish I were. Basically a spell-gone-wrong makes Dean doglike. it’s weird. it’s batshit. Not the good kind.

Season 11 - Season 11 is a pretty good season! They tried to give Dean a female love interest but Jackles said  ✨No✨ and played Dean as brainwashed and uncomfortable the whole time and I love him for it. Of special note this season is the episode Baby (11x04), which is my favourite episode in the series! It’s funny, it’s heartwarming, it’s weirdly shot. I love it! We also get casifer this season which is awesome! Some episodes are skippable, but they’re generally good episodes.

Episodes NOT to Skip (ignore the 10 year special):

10x01 & 10x02 - Great episodes, Dean in this is *chefs kiss*.

10x04 - *sighs* Fan Fiction. A 200th episode that is simultaneously a love letter to fans and laughing in fans’ faces. I’ve never liked this episode for the second-hand embarressment of it all, but you should watch it and see if you like it.

10x06 - Pretty good episode.

10x07 - Jody AND Donna! Fantastic episode!

10x08 - Dadstiel rears his ugly head. I fucking love how Cas adopts two (2) kids over the course of the series and in both cases Dean eventually goes “ah fuck, I guess I gotta co-parent this thing”. Also we get some KILLER destiel this episode. hey go on a DATE and Cas tells Dean he’s a good person ^_^

10x09 - Good episode. Much destiel.

10x10 - Charlie episode!

10x11 - Teen!Dean! Need I say more?

OK so I just had a look, and you really just need to watch every episode from this point in the season on. Enjoy!

Season 12 - Another example of a TERRRIBLE season, is season 12. Season 12 is also one of the most destiel-heavy seasons in the show. You see the issue? Like, it’s got a stupid plot that makes no sense and has no fucking cohesion, but you also FINALLY have the writers going “fuck it” and all in on the destiel. After this point Dean never has another non-Cas love interest and vice versa, they stop giving us whiplash from baiting and no-homoing. IF the conspiracy theory is true, and the end of the show is shit because of executive meddling, this season is the one where the writers decided they were gonna push for destiel endgame.

I gotta tell you the truth, I skipped this season in my rewatch, so all of my memories are from years ago when it first came out. This seson was the last that I watched live (for a reason). Should you skip it? No. But I’m not well informed enough about this season that I can point out what episodes you should or should not watch.

Season 13 - Congratulations! You’ve reached the point where the show’s gotten consistently good again! (just in time for most of the audience to have already left lol). We start off with SPOILERS Dean mourning Cas like he’s lost the will to fucking live. I’m talking complete despondence, praying for Cas to come back, lashing out in anger at everything, one of the darkest points we’ve ever seen him at on the show, then pulling a 180 and being super happy the second Cas comes back. /SPOILERS They also introduce Jack, who is the SECOND child Cas decides to adopt and Dean ends up co-parenting (Sam too). In fact, Jack is explicity Sam, Cas, and Dean’s kid.

Season 14 - Another good one. My only issue is where they decided to take the plot at the end of the season. I’d recommend watching it all, regardless.

Season 15 - And so we’ve come to the end of the line. This season was... well it was actually pretty good. It started off with what we hellers lovingly refer to as the “divorce arc” where Cas and Dean have a big blow up, and Cas leaves, but that ends with Dean praying on his knees for forgiveness and a nice hug. Honestly this season you can cut the tension between the two of them like a knife, and you can tell Misha and Jensen were doing it deliberately.

I’d say watch up until 15x18, then you decide what to do with the last two episodes. If you want you can watch them to understand just why people put their conspiracy theory hats on, or you can send me another ask and I’ll rec you some post 15x18 finale fics! There’s one fic that’s a replacement for 15x20 written in script format that is particularly good.

Anyway that’s it. It’s kind of left me a little sad, to break down the show in this way. Especially coming up to season 15 nd remembering all the wasted potential. Honestly if you do decide to watch the show, good luck. I hope you enjoy it. I’m also glad you never had to be put through the bullshit false hope that came about after 15x18.

[fantranslatorbychoice]

Kakuriyo no Yadomeshi Volume 6 Intermission 3 - Kasuga and O-ryo

T/N: Yep, it’s a double premiere guys, I hope you all enjoy. =)

As always, if you like this translation, you can heart it, share the link, reblog, I just respectfully ask that DO NOT REPOST ELSEWHERE. This is my contribution to the scant English content of this fandom, and I worked really hard to finish this thing, it’s not like I just copy-pasted everything. I even had to build the kanji in Jisho one by one. Try it and you’ll see what I mean.You can rave about this, rant about this, reply, etc. but if possible please link back to this page. If you’re unsure how to do that, just copy the web address of this page. If you’re on a blogsite just insert the web address as a hyperlink as a link back to here. Honestly if this light novel was officially-published in English, I wouldn’t even be doing this right now... And if it did, I’d take this offline to support the publishers and Yuuma-sensei. Creators support creators, is what I believe in. I’ll prolly do 1-5 once 6-10 has been done, or however long I can manage to translate the raw texts, it can take a toll at times.  As previously-mentioned in earlier chapters, if you stumbled upon this one, the two seasons of the anime covered volumes 1-5, so other than the extra details, you didn’t miss much stuff.

No spoilers lol

P261 "Hmph. You're the newly-hired kid? Really, you're named Kasuga? Aren't you a stumpy little tanuki-girl? I am O-ryo, the future Wakaokami. I'll train you under me, and I'll be sure to drill the job of being a waitress into your head."

I remember well, the day that I first met O-ryo sama. I am Kasuga, a Bunmon Tanuki, while still a child was chased off from my home by my Hachiyo Baba-sama to experience the outside world, and along with my uncle Chiaki who also has nowhere else to go, we inquired in, and started working in Tenjin-ya. It was that first day. That person who called me stumpy, has hair and skin as white as snow, it was the conspicuously beautiful snow lady. Her personality is of someone who hates losing. She was a selfish Sempai, but has an indomitable and strong willpower to rise to the top, and I thought that surprisingly, I have come to like this person. As such, in order to gain her dream position of Wakaokami, she exerted herself no matter what it took. P262 A woman who fights her battles to win. I came to her side and I recorded her heroic battles, and I wrote about it in my diary.

"Hey.... Hey, why are you asking something while falling asleep, Kasuga-kun, HEY!" "Whaaaa~" In the middle of talking about something regarding a Hachiyo's marriage at great length, sitting on my heels I was nodding off to sleep. Since early morning I have been with Aoi-chan, and I have been going about here and there. I was feeling confident. I was dozing off in front of Byakuya-sama. Is Byakuya-sama angry or is he surprised? "Good grief. You're a reliable and shrewd girl girl, and I think that it's beyond expectations that you're going to get married to a Hachiyo... yet I am worried that they'll find faults on you. That is a position that has many enemies, do you understand? "Yeah, I get it. I have watched Aoi-chan for a long time. But Aoi-chan is awesome... Even though she's in a disadvantage, she was aware of her own strengths. Furthermore, in Tenjin-ya, when Aoi-chan gets married to Odanna-sama, isn't there anyone who grumbles about it?" "Hmmm. in that case, isn't that a problem? Because nobody's complaining, probably there's a group that's P263 thinking about rubbing her out of existence." "That point, I am fine with that. I plan to not make enemies with my demeanor, an incomptetent person making a blunder. Well, at any rate, from the very start I have been incompetent." "..." Byakuya-sama narrowed his eyes, and with a snap hit the corner of his mouth with his fan. I thought that he was going to say something but, he just scolded me and released me after saying "You can go now" . Wahh, after standing up from sitting on my feet, they fell asleep and started tingling painfully... Holding the Maneki-neko** coin bank, I planned to go back to Yugao. Along the way, the waitresses looked over here, and started gossiping and whispering to each other. Up until now the friends that were calling me in carefree voices, and the sempai that used to fiddle with and pushed me around, now they pass sideways, and bow their heads subserviently, and flees anywhere. Oh well, I could understand why they became like that but... I come in contact with the management staff that were like Shizuna-chan and they are normally composed, but I'm a normal girl, aren't I? I feel like I'm a sore thumb sicking out. "Kasuga, Kasuga" "...Chiaki" From the other side of the hallway, peeping over here looking worried, it was my uncle, the tanuki. T/N: Maneki-neko, the beckoning cat, famously known for bringing in luck. It's said that it was originally named after a cat that waved to a monk to go inside a shrine and the monk almost got struck by lightning or something, so it was a lucky omen. P264 He approached while calling for me. "What is it, from now onwards I'm helping out at Yugao." "It's not that, you were called for by Byakuya-sama, and I got worried somewhat." "It's nothing. It's just that I'm developing a souvenir product with Aoi-chan." "Why you, aren't you scowling at me?" "Why, my relative shouldn't speak about me flippantly." He isn't necessarily overprotective and he wasn't saying anything like that, but ever since the old days Chiaki has been worrying about me. He's just a nice and charming person who took care of me, and he always looks after those that are just like me. Though I'm already fine, even at this age he still worries about me... "Chiaki aren't you staying behind here in Tenjin-ya?" "Yep. I'll continue working here. Even though I was thinking of coming along with you." "It's fine, it's nothing. I've always been taken care of by uncle, I cannot function properly being a Hachiyo's wife." "...Kasuga" His eyes gloomily welling up, holding down the corner of his eyes, Chiaki went "That tiny Kasuga has grown to be praise-worthy" "Ahhh stop it already, don't be gloomy.. Get over it." Shh... Uncle you're annoying. P265 While being paid extra care, I could feel myself fading away. Our relationship, even though we are family, here we cannot become too overly-familiar. The love that tanuki give to each other are the strongest among Ayakashi, as such they aren't entrusted to to other people, which makes tanuki unaware about so many things such as getting close to and connecting with strangers. Those people, now matter how much we studied them, we couldn't find them... With regards to those, I thought I learned those in Tenjin-ya.

"Oh.." In front of the passageway that connects the door to Yugao, there is someone who is sneakily peeping in. Isn't that... "O-ryo sama, what are you doing over that place?" "Kyaaa!" O-ryo sama jumped up suprised. With a sluggish expression, she slowly looked back. Opening her mouth as if about to talk, hesitatingly, she made a weird face by sticking her lower lip out. "H-hmph." In the end, O-ryo sama took her leave without saying anything. P266 I slightly tugged on O-ryo sama's sleeves. "What now?" O-ryo sama icily stared down at me with that severe gaze. Oh well, I've been used to that gaze. "Uhm, I believe so, that O-ryo sama will likely aim to be Wakaokami again." ".... what?" "Within Tenjin-ya, there's something that only O-ryo sama can surely do." Pulling my hands immediately from the hem, I madly dashed towards the inner garden where Yugao was. The O-ryo sama who was aiming to be Wakaokami. And the one who made her dream come true, the O-ryo sama that became Wakaokami. To me, O-ryo sama is dazzling, despite the many enemies she makes, being hated by her colleagues, being gutsy and only wants to rise up into the world. The one I adored. After doing so many different things, O-ryo sama eventually became demoted from Wakaokami, and yet... When O-ryo sama becomes Wakaokami once again. Truly, I support that from the sidelines..

End of Intermission 3, Volume 6. Previous - Chapter 8 Next - Chapter 9

References:

Wonderful site for the youkai references

Other stuff I used to do this: Kodansha Kanji Learner’s Dictionary (you can buy here, I’m not sponsored btw). I was about to buy the older edition but then the newer one came out 2013 so I bought that instead. Worth buying since I was able to find nearly all of the words I needed just by stroke pattern alone.

Merriam-Webster's Japanese-English Dictionary (the red-covered 1996 version is apparently out of print right now). This is what I have been using for a very long time, I bought it when I was still a fetus (yes I am old so what lol), and after so many years, when compared to newer editions, I still prefer this one since its entirety is Japanese-English, the English to Japanese gloss are just 16 pages tops, so you get more Japanese words for your buck. But that’s just my opinion, maybe other people prefer the Jap-En x En-Jap IDEK.

Basic online dictionary, Jisho. Knowledge of verb conjugations  and other words are necessary since not all have entries.

If you can read Japanese, you can buy the whole set in Amazon Japan, they’re shipping worldwide now, I think.

[bloomingundertheshadows]

This my longer ranting post about this whole fwb storyline. If you’re in the mood for a rambling rant, this is your one stop shop. 

I feel like this fwb is irrationally irritating me. I am not really sure why, but something about this plot like actually makes me angry. I know that at least part of it is because they’re making it abundantly clear that they have no real narrative purpose for Nico, and I’ve really reached my tolerance for plot lines that do not add anything interesting to the show (I’m looking at you Teddy-Owen-Tom nonsense). 

I think the other part of this that bothers me is that I feel like I was, at least somewhat purposely, duped into believing one thing about this couple only to have it go another direction entirely. I feel like I was lead to believe this was a) going to be characters that got some development and b) that we were actually looking at a meaningful relationship here. I’ve said it before that they really went kind of hype on this couple and I feel like they dropped that ball in 16B. Season 15 clearly set up character growth and conflicts for this couple, and then idek know what happened to that thought in Season 16.  And I don’t mind there being more complexities/drama from a relationship. Let’s all remember the season 1 bombshell of Derek being married. However, I feel like this storyline is almost like what would have happened if at the end of Season 1, Meredith told Derek she loved him and he was like “You know, despite the fact our relationship has been building the entire season, I think I would just like some sex.” 

Now, I know there are some valid arguments that Nico’s behavior isn’t new. And if this was Season 15 or even 16A, I would agree. The issue is that being an emotionless corpse was a Season 15 plot point that the final episode very clearly indicated would be an issue that was being actively resolve (hence complaint a) Let’s not forget that Nico was the one to come and apologize. And then we went through 16A essentially like it never happened until Justin Chambers left the show and then in literally the course of an episode he was like “actually nah, all those nice things I did for you were a lie.” The show more or less hit pause on that issue for more than half a season, and at that point I don’t think you just get to resume like nothing ever happened. Maybe it was their intent to have this seem like a natural progression from the end of Season 15, but they spent half of season 16 making them a very cute and stable couple; they made their bed, and they’re refusing to lie in it. We’re acting like Nico didn’t seem to want to make an effort about being better about you know not exploding at his partners under stress or being a completely emotionless moose. 

I’d argue that they actually could have gotten away with this whole storyline, except for one key fact: they refuse to give Nico any actual story. The devils advocate might argue that we’re seeing all these relationship problems arise right when Levi moved in with Nico. Could this be because moving in together was just too much of a commitment and it freaked him out? We’ll never know because no one can be bothered to give this poor character some screen time to turn him into more than a story-beat on the planning board. And I know some people have picked up the fact Nico’s probably lying when he said he’s fine, and you know what? If the writers actually do something with that, I will applaud them. But we’re 2 seasons into these characters, and the sliver of character growth fro Nico in Season 15 was chucked out the window in favor of whatever that closet scene was. 

If anything I think this storyline irritates me because it’s a culmination of every issue I’ve had with the writing of these two characters for over a season, and nobody has taken any steps to fix it. The weird bombshell about Nico not being out to his parents was dropped, Levi’s mom might as well have moved to France, and I feel like the writers just recon something when it no longer fits the current storyline. If I felt there was some endgame lesson to be learned from this plot or if I trusted the writers enough to make something meaningful out of this clownery, maybe I would feel differently. But I have spent enough time making mountains from molehills when it comes to the writing, and somehow I don’t foresee any big changes. They had the chance to dig into something meaty in 16B when Levi moved in. I mean commitment issues/Nico secretly maybe not actually being out could have fueled them for at least a season (and I know COVID changes things, so I am willing to concede a little). 

And look, yea, these two def have some of the more notable sex scenes in the last two seasons, but there is just a point where I’m like...is this really what we’ve reduced ourselves to? Previous storylines focused on confidence and compassion, and we’ve reduced ourselves to ‘tee-hee sneaking into supply closets to have sex with my emotionally repressed ex.’ Like really? These characters have 2 minutes of screen time, and we’ve chosen this path? After all that hype you raised about Levi’s coming out and Nico being the first gay male surgeon? This is what you’ve done?????????? Why. Also, why is the most lines Alex Landi’s getting centered around saying what an ass his character is? Like come on, guys. Could we not pull a season 6 gallavich here? 

[emotionalsuppork]

hi i feel really weird about requesting this and idek if it sounds so strange you’ll be like wtf but i’d like to at least feel like somebody loves me even if i feel like no one does :’) umm ig this is an emergency request? tho i mean like i’ve dealt w these feelings w/o requesting stuff so it’s okay if you’re busy! anyways um i feel like my hormones are higher bc my period is taking it’s sweet time 😅 anyways i kinda got yelled at by my dad for smth small but i’ve been doing it often but it’s so small like he really didn’t have to get so upset ANYWAYS wow i’m ranting basically i hide in my closet when i get super overwhelmed and i’ve got a lil bedsheet on there and pillows and a candle so it’s nice and comfy :’) the candle isn’t lit btw, the space is small so the scent goes around well anyways yaku, taketora, noya and sugawara are my comfort characters so maybe smth w one of them? you obvs don’t have to do all, i just thought having choices would help?? i just feel ✨unlovable✨ and everything is hopeless even more so w the pandemic and shit ykw i mean WOW n e ways so sorry this is so long JFKSKSK legit don’t even bother answering if it’s too weird i’m just gonna pretend i didn’t write this i really don’t wanna overwhelm anyone else w what i feel i should get a therapist aye but they’re expensive and i’m broke KFKSKSK okay i’m sorry if i overwhelmed you as well bc you don’t deserve that okay bye 👁👅👁✌🏽

HI OMG IM SORRY I DIDN’T SEE THIS SOONER!! also i do that too! i made myself a blanket nest lol. and no darling you’re not overwhelming me at all! also i literally was JUST complaining about nobody loving me so this request is just like.....fate. i hope this makes you feel a little better and loved! (even if it is late which i am very sorry about, i didn’t realize it was there :( )

-------------------------------

im gonna do some headcanons for all ur boys instead of a longer thing for like 1 or 2 

-------------------------------

Yaku! 

would be the best to vent to 

would 100% get angry on your behalf

also he’d be very reassuring that you’re valid and your feelings are valid and it’s okay to feel like this

he’d definitely take care of you in any/every way he could

he’d also gently scold you if you get too hard on yourself

would be stern about reeling in bad thoughts

gives good advice but also gets that sometimes advice isn’t really all that helpful so he’ll ask what you need beforehand 

would keep checking in about that specific thing

like he always checking in, but now its checking in to see how youre feeling about that

really nice about it but also like laser focused 

you’re going to feel better if its the last thing he does

Taketora!

would try and squeeze into the closet with you 

don’t even try and fight it you are getting his love and you’re getting it now

he’d listen but i think he’d also be bad at advice so he’d just try and make you laugh instead

10/10 best distraction

also wouldn’t allow you to feel hopeless in his presence

like he will constantly be hyping you up 

and if you’re still not convinced on how amazing you are?  well youre about to be

because suddenly you’re getting calls and texts from his team about how cool you are 

and to make it even better you better belive you’ll be getting calls and texts and freaking f a c e t i m e s  from Tanaka and Noya at Karasuno

you literally haven’t even met these boys!?

tora would just look so smug 

Noya!

speaking of noya

he’d be so shocked and bummed out

like what? you dont feel good about yourself? you’re having problems at home? YOU THINK I DON’T LOVE YOU?!?!?!

would be hilariously trying to simultaneously reassure/comfort you and like..beat himself up for not treating you even more like a queen

he is 1000% going to get you out of that closet and take you on the best damn date of your life 

hes clueless though so you’re going to have to be a little blunt about how your feeling to make him understand

would also probably suggest you hanging out more with him and his friends

like his friends all like you so if you’re feeling down about yourself come hang with us and we’ll gas you up!

which is a sweet thought but this boy is literally a puppy so no surprises there

Sugawara!

i think out of all of them, suga would handle everything with the most grace

like he’d totally have some sort of self care routine that he’d walk you through

and then i feel like he’s the type to be like “let’s have a therapy date” where he takes you to lunch or coffee and you guys just vent/rant/cry/work through emotions with each other 

i also think he’s the type to be like “that’s currently a hostile environment so why don’t you come to mine and we can cuddle!”

super sweet and understanding but also will be firm about stuff

like he gets that you feel this way and you’re feelings are vaild, but try and think about it like this instead before you spiral

also he like....wouldn’t let it go

like if a day or two passes and even if you’re feeling better, he’s still gonna check in 

hey you good? you sure? i got you a cookie?

like so so sweet and thoughtful and he’s so caring too 

an angel

[estelanel]

Mighty Nein ep. 111

Ever since Fjord, Jester, and Yasha got kidnapped, Caleb has been working on conjuring a safe place for all of them. I just. My heart hurts in all the best ways.

But also, hands down the funniest detail in all the bedrooms - including the mirror right above Beau’s bed - is the ritual table in Fjord’s room. I’m infinitely laughing over the fact that Caleb specifically chose to continuously remind Fjord of that one day under the sea where they both slid their hands together to perform an ominous ritual. I mean, I agree, but I’m still laughing.

“That’s a question for Caduceus, probably. Or Taliesin.”

Pumat is such a darling. I missed him.

Okay, calm down there, Jester. Yes, you’ve been buying diamonds for Revivify spells, but you also already have a tattoo, and you also spend money on things like green cloth for cloaks, a premium custom winter outfit, and Rexxentrum’s whole stock of joke articles. XD

“You could get User 1, User 2, or the Admin profile.” - This might be one of my favourite jokes Travis has ever made (semi) in-character. (Right up there with, “I have my own three, the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit”.)

You know what. In all honesty. I’m almost relieved Molly/Lucien has been resurrected as well, if the other route would’ve been for the M9 to resurrect him. Because that would have been fucked up.

Okay. So. About the theories. (Marisha/Beau’s Sherlock Holmes rant was beautiful, ngl.) I’m pretty convinced of Vess DeRogna’s connection to the Tombtakers; it makes too much sense to not be true. I am entirely on board with the theory that the floating city is Aeor; it’s too beautiful to not believe in (although it’s more hope than conviction). Everything in between I’m not so sure about - Lucien being a ‘sacrifice’ to... Idek, to Aeor? in the original ritual seems like a stretch. XD But those two points - the city and the spellcaster - I’m totally buying.

[q-u-a-c-k]

and now it's onto crisis rant time :) literally please just ignore it there's probably not a coherent thought and it's stupid. it's just two write it out, think about it and possibly come back later. so honestly you dont have to read it.

So for the past few days I've been trying to figure out what exactly romantic attraction is. Because now I dont think I'm actually sure. I've been saying for a while that I've only ever had 1 crush but idek if that was a romantic attraction crush or just want to be friends with that person really bad and not be able to and myself labeled it as a crush and made myself believe it was romantic attraction.

Because the whole friend thing was once I got this school district, the first people that talked to me became my friends (because nobody else wanted to talk to me or be friends with me lmao). And they were kinda the weird kids who most of the other kids didnt talk to either. so by association of being friends with these people that the other kids didnt like, nobody else talked to me unless they had to. But as time went on I realized most of the people in the friend group were actually kinda just shitty people (manipulative, threatened people, overall just fucking rude and says horrible things to people). But some of them repeatedly told me I was the only person keeping the friend group together so I was like shit ig I cant really make other friends then (which I should've just seen that if that was the case it would've been better off split up). and there was some bad, like BAD drama between a lot of them but I wasnt really involved with any of it because not even my friends really wanted to talk to me ( :') ). So anyways, that shit was bad. but one year I had classes with literally none of them, so I'm like. ight! time to make new friends? please? (that didnt fucking happen but still). and of course the person that was nice enough to show me human decency I wanted to be friends with but they had beef with the friend group and vice versa so it was either I split up this friend group and was the main cause of a shit ton of drama, or I could be friends with someone I actually wanted to be friends with. so ofc my dumbass with the whole "if you do something even remotely good for yourself, you're a selfish bitch" focused on keeping friend group together.

so now that you have my entire shitty friends life story prior knowledge, here's where I started to have the "crush" if it was even that. So I really wanted to be friends with them, but it seemed impossible, so from very far away, I got to know this person and just wanted to be friends with them. And the shitter the friend thing got, the more I wanted to be friends with this person. and the friend thing was constant throughout that whole year, so I think that's why I thought I had a crush because I though about them a lot (even if it was just a "I wish I was friends with them so I wouldnt have to be involved in ____"). But then I had another class with the. and say next to them and we actually started becoming friends! and this was also when mental shit was getting bad and I was doing sh several times a day every day and they were the first one to realize it. So they started talking to me a lot more and like checking io on me and showing me more human decency and I'm like oh! I must be imagining this because I think about this person a lot so I just like them. So from that point on I'm just like I like this person, even though now I realize I think I just wanted to be better friends with them and enjoyed being shown human decency.

idek what in talking about anymore. I think I just genuinely liked this person like as a friend and wanted it be better friends with them, because thinking about it now, i don't think it was ever a romantic attraction to them. (although because i kept telling myself at the time that i did like them that way (i didnt) i figured out the possibility that i could be gay because i thought it was a romantic attraction to a person that was not male.)

and now I'm trying to think if i have any romantic attraction to anyone else (including fictional characters) because of the whole shifting thing I just assumed that I liked Luna like that but now I think it's just that I want to be good friends with her. and if I shift and it does develop into romantic, then good but right now I dont think it actually is. And like Loki, I dont think it's a romantic attraction and just a "wow, loki is a pretty person, I want to be friend with pretty person".

and because now I'm questioning all of this, im not even exactly sure what romantic attraction is or feels like. and google is no help because it's just assuming that everything is romantic attraction. like have I even experienced it before? will i? will I know what it is if it does happen? how the actual fuck am I ever gonna know? am I just. along a big deal out of literally nothing (absolutely I fucking am). should I just stfu and go to sleep because what the fuck am I talking about none of this probably makes any sense whatsoever and I'm just oversharing on fucking Tumblr.

[whatdoyouwanttobecalled-1]

Okay so some background info: me and girlfriend were friends for about a year and had mutual friends for 2 years before we started dating a little over 9 months ago during the 1st lockdown.

As a result, we haven't gotten to do really any of like cute couply stuff other than like face timing 24/7, especially during the 1st few months.

But we've been hoping we'll be able to go on a lil park date for our 1 year anniversary if the number of cases go down.

And we decided we wanna get eo those cute lil reversable emotion octopus thingies that are everywhere online atm bc we didn't wanna do something too expensive and she hates gifts bc she always feels like if she spends more the other person feels guilty, and if they spend more than she feels like she didn't do enough, which I mean I get. So we decided together to get them for eo and then swap and it's honestly just more about like the lil symbolism ig idk leave me alone.

But I'm 14. And my parents have all my money in their bank account bc I have like €170 saved and so I have that money, but they like borrowed it to pay bills and stuff and I just ask for bits of it when I need it.

But now I'm super fucking anxious to ask them to order the octopus for me idek why like they're supportive of our relationship and stuff like why am I so nervous to ask like it's literally my money.

So yea instead of like meditation or something I cried over it and then ranted to tumblr.

Ty for listeninggg

[intergalacticsuperstar]

tea time

Okay I’m going to spill the tea a little here. I would like to start off with saying that I am a fan of Tom Holland. I’m also 18, about to dive into college, the work field, and I’m trying to maintain professionalism on my other social accounts. Given that, I’m a closet fan girl who only posts on Tumblr.

And thank god.

Just because I only post on Tumblr, doesn’t mean I don’t see the craziness that is the other platforms (Instagram and Twitter). I don’t know what it is... maybe I just follow the right people on tumblr or maybe just all of the people I’m going to be generalizing just flock to Instagram and Twitter.

Last note before I get started. I know probably not alllll people on Insta and Twitter are crazy Tomdaya stans, but it’s the only place I see it. And quite frankly, that’s disturbing considering those are the platforms Tom, Zendaya, and their families would be looking at. Not Tumblr.

Now, to begin...

Yesterday this video was released. Most of us have already seen it already, but just Incase you haven’t here’s a quick recap:

The interviewer asks Tom and Zendaya about what it’s like for people to want their relationship to be real in real life.

Tom says it’s annoying.

Zendaya agreed with Tom but she more is like “aye it’s gonna happen, I try not to worry about it”

Now today, I’m on Instagram on the explore page and I see a story of some Zendaya account. It’s a note, so interested what it says, I click on it. Low and behold, it’s about Tomdaya.

Because like everything on Instagram is about Tomdaya.

So this person has multiple screenshots of notes on their story detailing about how they are all upset about this video.

The first one I see is this:

Alright so let’s break this down yeah. (Under the cut because this is getting long)

Okay, well firstly, if you have to block Z from seeing your opinion about something, that should be immediate red flags.

Now, they are getting confusing. So you know that it’s not your business but you still are commenting on this and continue to force their relationship? It’s a slap in the face to you? No offense, but you kind of put yourself in this position. Lastly, I love that it’s “they have a right to whatever opinion they do because their friendship/relationship.”

What?

What?

What?

It’s not an “opinion” Tom and Z have that may be different than yours. What they say is what you get. If someone says “I’m not in a relationship with X person.” You don’t get to reply with “Hm, well in my opinion you are.”

Would you do that to people you know in real life? No? Okay, then don’t do it to Tom and Z.

Moving on...

Okay, not bad. You see that you are making them uncomfortable, and now you are going to stop. Good.

Except... wait for it.

Okay. So, you are only mad because Tom called it “annoying.” Hm... maybe should that, I don’t know, maybe, possibly, BE A SIGN THAT IT’S ANNOYING?!

“Especially considering all we deal with when it comes to the Antis”

The antis? This isn’t Peter Parker and MJ. This isn’t a fandom. There should be no “antis” because they are not characters. They are human beings.

BUT THEN

WHAT

ARE YOU SERIOUS?!?!?

Tom and Zendaya: We are not dating

This person: Of course, they’re still dating.

WHAT?

Okay listen, if you want think they’d be cute together, cool. I get that. There’s a lot of public figures where I think, oh hey, these two people have really good chemistry. I think they would be a good couple. But unless I know FOR SURE they are dating.... I would never just be like “oh lol they are just lying nah they dating” like what?

Shall we continue?

Yes? Okay.

So, the next story on this person’s account was a screenshot from someone else’s account.

Here it is:

So I start reading this going through different emotions.

Point 1: the first part of the sentence was good, but the second part not so much. Yes keep it to yourself, but like??? Don’t post at all. Also, you guys call yourselves “crackies”? Red flag.

Point 2: You are probably right. Also probably because accounts like yours and the one before post it all over social media so not only does he have to deal with it during press, but also all the time online. Good job :)

Point 3: HOW CAN YOU DO THAT. HOW CAN YOU SAY THEY ARE STILL DATING WITHOUT ANY REMORSE. LIKE WHAT.

idek know what to think. So I click on this new users profile.

It gets worse. Their story has more about this situation.

First there’s this:

Hm, interesting. You’ve “never gotten the impression that the shipping annoys them THAT much.”

Well, what about all of the other times they denied their relationship???

“Especially as we pretty much all know that they are together”

Did you... did you ever consider... that maybe... THEY ARENT TOGETHER? BECAUSE THATS WHAT THEY SAID?

“My impression has always been that they don’t care if their fans know but they hate the media.”

Um what no. Fans aren’t entitled to “know” ANYTHING. Literally nothing. And since Tom and Z have never confirmed that they are together, you don’t “know” shit.

Then there’s this:

So, let me get this straight, you think Tom was “genuinely pissed” but that doesn’t make you not believe in Tomdaya at all? Really? For real?

This is really funny now because now they are the victim. Just because you’ve been “noticed” by Tom, Z, or their friends or family doesn’t validate anything. Plus I looked through their “notices” highlight and all the posts that were getting noticed were not about Tom and Z dating lol. 

“What Tom said today and especially Jacob just flat out made us feel like we are the bad guys- and we’re not.”

Literally again, if the PEOPLE YOU ARE LITERALLY SHIPPING AND THEIR FRIENDS ARE CALLING YOU OUT ON THIS CRAP THEN YOU LITERALLY ARE THE BAD GUYS. Also, that statement totally contradicts the last one because despite your “notices” they still make public statements that they don’t like it.

Then there’s this. Like wtf?? You just said your “faves” were lying. Like maybe... you could... just back off and believe them? Strange concept I know. Also, pretty sure they were laughing because Tomdaya stans are literally crazies.

They also posted this and like??? what. Tom is “extra” because he’s trying to clear out rumors that probably damage his friendship with Z? Like this has happened with so many other celebs before. The fact that this person can just so blatantly ignore what Tom says, and say that he’s lying is mind boggling.

Lastly, I went back to the original user and this is what they had on their story:

So now, they just back tracked on literally everything they said before. It doesn’t matter what Tom or Z says, they have a fan page and they are going to post what they want even if Tom finds it annoying. Such great fans :))

Just because Z follows you, doesn’t mean anything.

I can’t. I literally can’t.

I would just like to add that the first user has 28 Thousand Followers and the second user has 55 Thousand followers. Which is just... that many people agree with what they’re posting. That’s wild to me.

Okay, I’m gonna wrap this up because this is long and I have work to do, but listen. When it comes down to it, just because two actors (human beings) are in a movie together where their characters have a romantic interest, DOES NOT MEAN YOU GET TO SHIP THE ACTORS. Think they’d be cute? Great. Keep that to yourself. It’s none of your business. The fact that some people can just refuse to listen to the very people they pretend to “love” is very very telling. Especially when those two actors/human beings have actually said that they find the shipping behavior “annoying” or are uncomfortable or have publicly announced that they are just friends.

End rant. Please feel free to add or comment

[suhoerections]

OH MY GOD THIS BLOG TURNED 1 ON THE 21ST AND I FORGOT ASKDJFHASJKF BUT HAPPY BIRTHDAY SUHOERECTIONS AND EVERYONE WHO FOLLOWS I’M GONNA GO ON A RANT ABOUT MY MUTUALS UNDER THE READ MORE TAG OKAY BUT BASICALLY I LOVE ALL OF MY FOLLOWERS AND THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR MAKING THIS YEAR SO INCREDIBLE <3333

also shout out to all my followers i’m not mutuals with but enjoy my content and reblog/like my work, I really appreciate yall, keep up the good work you’re all beautiful

okay this isn’t in any particular order i’m just going off who i remember and i’m trying to not miss anyone so if i do feel free to call me out and also i’m sorry if i don’t write as much for some people asdfjkhasd

@ninibears-erigom

okay look,,, you’re literally such an amazing person and the reason why i didn’t straight up deactivate in january like you helped me so much during that time and also through so much other stuff and I’m so thankful for you,, you’re one of the most realist and most amazing people I’ve ever met. I love you so much you’re literally the best mother i could have ever asked for like i want to squeeze the life out of you god. I seriously cannot express how much i love and appreciate you like?? I’m tearing up writing this because you’re literally one of the most amazing people to walk this Earth like??? and even though i’m a shit head and i spam you with ‘ayla’ 20 times just to tell you i did a good shit,,, you still love me?? also like you’re literally the reason i write???? that sounds so dumb but you’re seriously my muse,, i genuinely look upto you as a person because you’re so strong, wonderful, amazing, genuine, beautiful, sweet, caring, kind and that’s all i can think of off the top of my head. I love you so much and I have to cut this short cause i’m gonna feel bad cause i wrote so much asdkjfh but you’re amazing and i swear if you say otherwise i’ll eat all the lactose in the world (i cried writing this stfu) also you are nini’s cheek spreader :>> 

@thesoondongiefiles

You’re like?? my literal best friend?? and probably one of the best people i’ve met on this hell site,, i really don’t regret randomly messaging you “hey i need aussie friends” asdkjfh but fr i love you so much and you’ve been with me through thick and thin and i really appreciate it so much like you’re so amazing and kind and your art is actually so beautiful like you’re such an amazing person you don’t even know the start of it you dummy. I love how we can be ourselves around each other even though we haven’t known each other the longest but still, you’re my favorite soondongie and i love you so much man,, like we talk so much you’ve literally just become the older sister i never had and i really appreciate that like man idek what to write cause i just really appreciate you,, you’re just amazing and i love you very much and i hope we can meet one day cause you’re not that far away from me and i really love you ehehe 

@chanyeolol

KUKI MY FREAKING CHILD I LOVE YOU AND HELL YOU’RE SO AMAZING OMGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG idek kuks you’re just the best and you’re like the first mutual i made on this hellsite and damn you’re also like the best?? like i love how hyperactive you are you dummy you keep me on my toes and i love talking with you even if it takes me days to reply on instagram (sorry i’m barely active there askdjfh) but fr i love you very much and i really appreciate you and you’re so freaking BEAUTIFUL and i’ll bop you on the head if you say otherwise you dummy i love you

@letsmakeitforever

FUY MY GOD like i pray to you everyday smh i love you,,, like you’re amazing and cute and like you’re so NICE jesus christ i want to hug the shit out of you,, you’re sweet as fuck and istg you’re just great?? and i love that i can talk to you about sucking Jungkook’s dick cause like almost all my mutuals don’t stan bts so its nice to have an army friend,, i also really appreciate you and the support you’ve shown me and i always try and send you asks but i never know if they get through because my tumblr likes to fuck up but bottom line is i think you’re literally one of the most amazing people akjsdfha

@kyungseokie

OH BOY HERE COMES A TRAIN WRECK,, dia,, my child,, i love you very much and you always make me DIE with those freaking things where you just cut the conversation short and go “hey junmyeon would fuck you in a change room” LIKE JESUS CHRIST LET ME BREATHE but at the same time i sorta just drop like ksoo bombs as well so aksjdfhkj i guess its fair hehe but seriously!!! i love sharing ideas with you cause you’re literally so creative and you’re so amazing and have such a way with words like your writing is so magnificent no one can compare like you’re a poet with words akjsdfhkajs and you’re such a sweetheart too?? like i could write a whole ass page filled with positive words to describe you because you’re so beautiful and sweet and kind like gosH you’re such an amazing person i love you very much <33

@heonythighs

well howdy partner welcome to ram ranch askdfjhds gosh the horniest cowboy ever, 10/10 commentary, you’re amazing to converse with cause you’re just greaT and like idk you’re just super fun to talk to?? like i always laugh my ass off when we converse cause you’re a comedic genIUS i swear and you’re also the horniest chanyeol stan i’ve ever met oh god asdkfhasdkj but you’re jsut a really fun person and you’re also so amazing in general like fr fr your cowboy hat should have a label on it that says “i’m the best cowboy fuck all you bitches” like ugH i love you you’re so cool and just so chill i hope you have a fun time at ram ranch with your cowboys

@byunfirstlady

LAURE LOOK NOT TO PLAY FAVORITES BUT YOU’RE MY FAVORITE MUTUAL I LOVE YOU SO MUCH ASDKFJHAS like idek how to describe it but i could write so much about how much of an amazing person you are like you’re so cute and sweet and you always tag me in stuff (i need to tag you in more bbh adkjfh) but you’re such an artist like your work is so amazing!! i always feel so inspired by your work and it never fails to make me write!! you’re also the sweetest person on this site and your tags make me  c r y   like Laure you’re just so beautiful and sweet and i just combust because you’re so adorable,,, i want to hug you you’re so amazing and you’re so sweet ugh i could go on forever about this because you’re such a cutie i swear and you’re so fun to talk to as well like i really like discussing my fic ideas with you, especially the bbh series i’m writing askdjfh anyways i better stop before i take up a whole thing of why i love you so much you’re adorable <333

@flowerline8

ugh my number 1 nini stan !!!! i love writing nini stuff for you because you’re just so amazing and i love your tags they always make me smile,, you’re also adorable and funny to talk with and you’re also super beautiful ??? like i think its illegal how beautiful you are btw like its just the law,,, you’re under arrest for being too beautiful, sweet and kind. Like ugh Pauline you’re so sweet i want to hug you bc you’re so sweet but then again you’re so chaotic it makes me laugh adskfjhas like idek how to describe it but its so funny but fr fr you’re so sweet and you deserve everything <33

@fairyyeols

SIENNA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MY OTHER MOTHER!!!!!!!!!!! gosh what a hoe i love you akdsfjhasjk you’re also too sweet like >:(( call me cute again i dare you like YOU’RE the cute one in this relationship smh,,, pcy agrees kdfak but ugh you’re just so nice i swear to the lord above god was making you in his little bowl and accidentally dropped all the sweetness in your mix cause you’re just so sweet omg,, like Enna you’re so amazing and your writing!!!! *chef kiss* exquisite just like you. You’re also hella funny??? like you’re sweet AND funny like that’s not fair, you’ve gotta have something else bad about you but no! cause guess what! YOU’RE ALSO SO BEAUTIFUL WTH!?!?! so you’re beautiful, literally the sweetest person alive, funny as and am an amazing author,,, like you’re too perfect for this world,,, you’re such an amazing person i hope you get everything you ever want <33

@multi-yeol

GRACE AKJDSFHKSJ i remember the first time we talked was such a mess jesus christ you’re so chaotic i love it and gosh you’re also so beautiful, funny and amazing?? like you’re gonna look at this and go ‘no i’m not’ but you are just saying asdkjf you’re so sweet and like a genuinely good person??????? like how can you be both that and super freaking beautfiul??? my tiny brain can’t comprehend your amazing-ness,, you deserve the whole freaking world you sweetheart asdfhkdh 

@cbxtual

Hope, my fellow weeb,,, we don’t talk as much but i do miss it! you’re funny and a great friend and i really miss all the times we’d say dumb shit with grace in the group chat aksjdfhak you’re also really funny and like?? idk you’re just great in general?? like your writing,,, god tier,,, your personality,,,, amazing,,, your looks,,,,, beautiful,,,, like Hope, you’re the full package man ugh and I HOPE you have a great time hehehe (sorry i couldn’t help myself) akdsjfhas but i’m still writing that yoongi fluff for you its just buried under all my other wips but i will get around to it adsfkjah

@naminalati

all i have to say is you’re the kindest person to ever exist and we haven’t talked much so i can’t really say a lot sorry but you’re just so kind and sweet?? like you’re the literal definition of a sweetheart and you’re the cutest person i’ve ever witnessed <33 I hope you have an amazing day because i really appreciate you and you’re just so amazing and beautiful and i have no idea how long you’ve been following me but you’ve been there for ages and i appreciate it 

@abunnycotton @khelmatic @yayitsjay @k-pop-trashx 

OKAY so i’ve never talked to any of yall but like !!!!! i see yalll in my activity a lot and i just want you to know that i really love and appreciate you all because you’re all beautiful sweethearts who deserve the world, thank you