#idk <3 kinda feels like nothing can ever go right and my whole life is terrifying and curel and pointless <3 idk though <3

[drop--pop--candy]

when i pull up to the "everything is constantly going wrong" competition and my opponent is myself (there was a misprint so now i have no opponent):

[urproblematicfav-arsonk]

SO ITS MY DICK BIRTHDAY yayy I have typical sexual organs now. Rip, I'm not special anymore but what can ya do

The cookies came out kinda weird, burnt a dick pretty bad, but the pussies are surprisingly well put together. I didn't have any extra cookie stuff to make a shork with a fat vagina so rip me I guess. And then my shitty cheesecake with a giant chocolate dick. I spent so much money on all these things lmao.

SO its tmi time babey. The following is an unnecessarily graphic documentation of me trying to figure what the fuck is going on with my clit that popped out of my lower pelvis area after not having one for 22 years

So up until about may 14ish of 2024, I did not have a clitoris. And by that, I mean I had a clitoral hood but there was nothing in there. Along with no clitoral shaft, or just like, anything outside of skin. I can say for sure this isn't something that happened later in life, and that I was definitely born like this because I've been uhhhhhh poking around down there since I was about 4. We lived in the country and had a lot of animals so the second I saw live birth I was like "WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN BABIES COME OUT OF THIS???" And basically would poke at in fascinated horror.

Anyway. My mom sorta refuses to agree that I didn't have a clit because she thinks she would've noticed that when I was a baby. But clearly you didn't.

For literally as long as I can remember (which is again, like 4) arousal has caused me moderate to severe pain in my lower abdomen. When I got older and was starting actually understand sex, everything I read/was told(cuz I did try to explain my discomfort and get answers from my mom) was that cumming felt like "tension" in your tummy/waist area, so I just assumed that in the many ways that I already am that I was broken and didn't like the thing everyone else liked.

Touching that whole section of my body hurt VERY BAD. Like, any amount of contact hurt. If I wore shorts too tight and it rubbed against me I was sore and hurting all day. I actually used to not wipe as a kid because it hurt so bad. (Honestly, the fact that I regularly complained about my vagina and insides hurting as a VERY YOUNG CHILD and not a single adult in my life thought that was worth looking into is kinda horrific. Especially considering the people I was around, and the fact that they KNEW I was around them.)

I didn't have a shaft, but I think I might have had a blood vessel, or like?? A tendon?? Idk what to call it but there was a very thin bit of internal structure that feels similar to the stuff in my wrist. That felt weird to touch. I wouldn't say it was "good", because it wasn't. But it was probably the closest I ever got to typical masturbation options. Not that I ever did it because it was uncomfortable and pointless.

I spent my teen years in a lot of physical pain, and embarrassment over this. I won't get into it just cuz this is about my dick not my childhood trauma, but I was very isolated and uhhhh horrifically robbed of adolescence and not being able to experience the Normal, and Completely Universal experience of masterbating as a teenager just felt like another part of my childhood being taken away from me. Or never given in the first place, I guess.

I never really opened up about it because the reaction I always got was "oh you're just doing it wrong. Do it the right way, and you'll be fine." And I'm sitting here like......I'm trying.....seriously I promise that I'm trying to do it in the Normal Way. But it never worked and I'd get upset and drop the subject. I think I've only really personally talked to maybe 3 people in my life about this.

Basically what I'd do it try to jerk off, go "that sucks" and forget about it for a few years and then try again, and cycle repeat.

And then all of a fucking sudden, my bits start hurting at work, and I go to the bathroom to try and like, wiggle my skin around because that sometimes helps the pain. ONLY TO FIND. A FUCKING LIL NUBBY GUY IN THERE.

I was sitting there, holding my pussy open in the bathroom stall like, "oh shit what the fuck is that????" ITS A FUCKINGJIFJGVJ CLIT whoo. Obvi, couldn't deal with that at work. But when I got home I went-ainvestigating.

The reason why I didn't realize I didn't have a clit is because 1: theres literally an entire section of the pussy wiki about how its not real. And I understand thats just a sexist bullshit thing but having that in the back of my head didn't help. And 2: most clits are fairly small and come in different sizes. I always assumed mine was just really tiny or something.

It was actually kinda gross, looking back now that I have one. Like....I just had an empty sack of skin with a open hole in it. That's so weird. Rip me not fucking tho, I could've bullied so many men because good luck finding the clit WHEN ITS NOT EVEN THERE.

So the thing that really freaked me out about SUDDENLY HAVING SEX ORGANS, was specifically the fact that it was bleeding. Not severely. But the skin around the hood was bloody, and it hurt pretty bad.

I did jerk off tho, even tho IT HURT. But I'd never in my life experienced anything resembling physical gratification so I was invested in Figuring This Shit Out Immediately.

I tried to tell my mom, because again, I was bleeding from my clit and genuinely so fucking scared and my mom called me "gross" for talking about masturbation and literally ran out of the house and didn't talk to me for about 4 days. (This is the same woman who told me how she lost her anal virginity on a air hockey table as a fun fact story time when I was 7. But sure. My medical emergency is just me being super gross and inappropriate.)

The next day, the pain got worse and the mild bleeding was still going on. And now, the clitoral shaft was starting to swell pretty severely. I didn't measure, and I have no real sense of scale cuz I'm stupid. But it got to about the width of my pointer and middle finger combined, and the thickness of about one finger. It was VERY uncomfortable and I was limping all day. But also like?? Felt sexually gratifying??? I think the swelling was almost internally stimulating. Idk. It was more uncomfortable than pleasurable.

I kinda just cried and panic googled for 2 days. Googles suggestion was that I have endo and cancer. Which like, maybe. Nothing was in line with my experience and it was largely useless.

By the time I went back to work the swelling had gone down and I was mostly fine walking. It was definitely very fucking sore and I had to be careful letting my thighs touch because ow. But it was fine.

And then soon after I started trying to jerk off and play catch up as a late bloomer(literally). For the first 3 months, I'd have heart palpitations after orgasms, and would feel extremely dizzy and sick the day after. This eventually went away, and I only get dizzy if I cum REALLY HARD instead of just any time after stimulation. Again, very scary and worrying but whatever. I think my body just needed to recalibrate and settle down with the new system.

I won't go graphic in the jerking off part, cuz this is more about my Weird Clit, but it's still like...uncomfortable even though its normal now. I think its just really sensitive or something, but touching it with my hands isn't exactly good and it takes like 3 hours for me to cum manually (which is what I'm calling non vibe based masturbation) I can't for the fuck of me tell you how this works out because I bought a $60 suction toy that has literally left my foreskin BRUISED and I'm having a great time, but I rub it with my finger and I'm like :(((( owie it doesn't feel good. Idk what the fucking logic is here.

Internal stimulation has never felt like anything to me. No amount of rubbing or curling my fingers did literally anything. It just felt like touching wet skin with the same sensitivity as like, my arm. NOW MY CERVIX ON THE OTHER HAND-

Anyway, this is another thing I think was somehow affected by my clit popping out for some reason. Because now it does feel like something? Its actually incredibly jarring. It's like if you touched you arm every day and felt nothing and then randomly you touched it and it felt like rubbing a nerve. Very weird. Fingers still do fuck all. The only way it feels "good" or "pleasurable" or whatever the fuck is if it's big enough to cause me a least a mild amount of pain. Masochism size queen goalllllsss.

Predick, the only orgasm I ever had was me bashing the fuck out of my cervix for about 40ish minutes straight, which didn't even feel good until I came. It freaked me the fuck out. I really didn't like how my vaginal muscles relaxes and I couldn't be tenses up. And I think I could literally feel my cervix dilate a little. It was very psychologically distressing and I cried after, and it didn't even feel good. Also it hurt my wrist.

I'm more normal about this now and I don't cry cuz it scares me anymore. I will say, that because I couldn't cum, and my clit was hiding, the only thing I could to deal with my physical frustration was essentially to tense the fuck out of my genitalia, and relax over and over. So I think I've been doing kegals semi regularly for the last decade or so. My pussy game is probably crazy not that I'm letting anyone in there.

I'm not exactly sure how this is connected, but predick if I was on my period and tried to do penetration, it wouldn't work because my vaginal canal was almost completely swollen up. I've had like, maybe 6 periods since my dick popped out(covid fucked my cycle) and I haven't had any internal swelling issues since.

My pussy also used to be stop sign red, and now is a more normal pink color. I wonder if maybe the lack of typical blood flow was causing issues, like a kinked up water hose kind of thing.

I think having my clit in the correct spot as basically allowed my body to relax and have a normal amount of sensitivity.

The on going theory I have for why arousal was causing me so much pain/discomfort, is because I think my clit was lodged somewhere with my other organs in my lower pelvis. Actually, I've come to associate really needing to pee with arousal, because the second I felt ANYTHING like that, I'd immediately need to go. Another thing I thought was normal because idk...like, squirting and also people saying you should pee after sex. I thought everything felt like that after and it was just part of the process. But my idea is that I think when my clit was getting engorged with arousal/blood flow, it was crushed and squished in the wrong spot and thus swelling and putting pressure on parts of my body that aren't supposed to ever be squished unless I'm like, fucking pregnant or have a tumor something.

I still kinda associate needing to piss with cumming?? Its easier to cum if I haven't gone first. I think my brain just thinks those two are the same kind of build up now cuz of how log those wires were crossed and fucked up. I don't identify as a piss kink person though. Stilllllll hate fluids.

And on top of all of that, I also have an atypical urethra!!!! Mine is located right above my vaginal opening, and is actually kinda apart of my thick ass g-spot(or whatever it is) pad that's practically obscuring my whole hole. I have accidentally sounded myself twice. I am in such a Wrong Hole situation. Its fine tho, it's definitely sensitive.

SO along with my dick popping out, I also got a noticeable boost in testosterone!!!

I noticed this the most with my eyebrows. I was made fun of a lot(by my parents??) for having really thin and barely there eyebrows my whole life. And then all of a sudden, I have to actually shave them off or really work to cover them if I want to do sfx makeup. Which wasn't a thing when I was 12. I have chest hair. Kinda. Not really? I have visible peach fuzz that I actually think is really cute. I have a LOT more viable peach fuzz on my upper lip, like a few full on hairs. Its not super distracting. I doubt other people really would notice unless they're really looking. It's just...odd? Different, I guess.

I also think my labia has gotten longer. At one point my mom sorta...bullied me? Into showing her my situation because I was getting so anxious about the pain when I was 15ish. She said I was weird for my short/lack of labia. And then said my clit was like that because I had an STD(I've never had sex, and her argument was that she gave me the STD accidentally by like...sitting on the same furniture as me??? Idk. Humiliating and unhelpful experience)

I sorta feel like I've mellowed out a LOT after my dick popped out. I'm wondering if I've basically had a really bad case of hormonal imbalance since I was 11 and hit puberty. I feel calmer and less weirded out by sex. Even tho I still practically think its disgusting. I hate fluids. I think maybe a lot of my sex repulsion might have been a brain thing where, arousal = horrible pain so avoid anything that triggers those reactions by overloading disgust. Like, when I was younger if I watched porn I would get UPSET about it. Now I'm just like, "ok" and move on cuz I don't really care about it lmao.

Anyway. I kinda think all this bullshit qualifies me as intersex. But also, I'm Normal™®© now cuz my shit seemed to work itself out. So maybe I used to be intersex? Idk. Female reproduction research is shit. I never found a good answer for what was wrong with me as a kid, and was left feeling very scared and isolated because literally no one understood it. A lot of intersex conditions aren't like....organs getting stuck in other spots I don't think. Or at the very least I couldn't find information about it. But I wanted to share my Scientific™ documentation and experience because this shit was terrifying and humiliating to go through my whole life and I'd like the information to be out there. Also I like over sharing.

And just for funsies my clit is almost at three cm, or basically one inch. If my measurements are remotely accurate, which its entirely possible its not. It is big tho.

Anyway thats it bbbyyyyeeee.

Here's some bonus pussy files documentation

[sapphicseasapphire]

I apologize in advance but I'm going to ramble incoherently for way too long in this ask.

I just got caught up on a lot of cryptid AU stuff and Sky and Groose's relationship is very interesting to me. At first I was like, "????" but then you explained in the post and now it makes sooo much sense and I actually really really like it. I have DID and his whole situation with two halves of a whole becoming one is so fascinating. (I went through something similar so I'm very interested in this kind of stuff.) I love the birb boi very much and I'm happy he's your fav 'cause he's mine too. :3

(The alt who went through, essentially the same thing as Sky, may or may not let me write fanfic of the two meeting & him helping Sky adjust, would that be okay?) Wild. Can I talk about Wild? I've been dying to talk about Wild. Cryptid Wild touches something in my soul. Just. The silence. The curiosity. The innocence. The tragedy. The wanderer. The watching from afar. The Lost Boy. I just. Ajkhshtrsj. He makes me feel deep and profound things and I adore him for that.

I want to give him a giant hug and just hold him for a while and tell him he's not alone and that it'll be okay but I get the sense that he would NOT vibe with hugs or contact out of the blue. (You can't stop me from hugging Sky though, birb boy's getting tackled off a cliff. HE HAS WINGS IT'S FINE. :D)

... Has Sun ever ridden on Sky's back before? How would Sky feel about that?

I want my favs (Sky & Wild) to interact but idk how close you plan on them being or how much interaction you plan on having between the two of them. I don't even know what kind of dynamic they'd have in your AU if any, they both seem kinda lost in their own heads/situations.

They're kind-of inverses of each other, now that I think about it: Wild's trying to grapple with being someone he can't remember, and Sky's trying to grapple with being TWO "people" he CAN remember! A memory vacuum and memory overload... man now I want to see them talk about that.

How much does Wild think about who he was before? Sky's kinda smacked in the face with it, but Wild seems (fittingly) very distracted by the moment. But is it distraction, avoidance, or both? He still has the soul of Link (... right?), but he no longer remembers what that means. Does he want to? Does he feel overwhelmed even thinking about trying? adkutfkuvluyvlig. Too many Wild thoughts. ��

Also why doesn't Legend like Wind turning into his water form (I forget what it's called)? He looked freaked out by it and asked him to not do that; why? Did I miss something? /gen, I don't think I've caught up on everything yet.

Anyway thanks for this AU sorry for the novel-length ask I just had a Lot of Thoughts. :)

Bro all I ever do is ramble too long, don’t even worry about it. I love getting asks like this.

LONG ONE, under the cut!

Okay I’ll try to break this up to answer all of your questions and ramble a bit haha!

SKY AND GROOSE! Yeah, there’s a lot of tension there. Sky is… an entirely new person. He has the memories of both Link and Aepon, but he interprets those experiences differently than either of them would. Link and Aepon both had entirely different mindsets, so of course the result of their fusion would be left to interpret things on his own.

Link never cared enough about himself to care about what Groose said to him/did to him. Self sacrificing to a fault and very forgiving. (Kind of by design, too. Hylia needed her Hero to be willing to risk his life for the good of others). Aepon was Link’s other half, his Goddess given protector, and thus he had the traits that Link lacked. He was a strong, proud bird. He cared enough about Link to care what Groose had to say about him. And then he was kidnapped! And Groose just kept hurting Link! And Aepon’s!!! Not!!! Having!!! That!!!

And so Sky was very conflicted about Groose. His Link half wanted to be friends! His Aepon half wanted nothing to do with him! And then Groose… said some very unkind things. I think that Groose is a very defensive person. When he feels hurts or threatened in any way, he lashes out. He had been at a point with Link where they were close! They were friends! They faced the end of the world together! And then suddenly all of that changed and Groose doesn’t understand why. Just. Suddenly Sky started giving him the cold shoulder. And that… hurt. And when Groose is hurt? His first instinct is to punch back.

So Sky was on the fence and Groose started falling back into old habits, just being so so rude. He called Sky a monster, treated him like he was just some thing that had stolen his friend away from him. And if Sky was undecided before, that pushed him right over the edge. Sky is not fond of Groose.

And you’re more than welcome to make any kind of fanart or fanfics! Just so long as you tag me so that I can see them!!

(Sun has not ridden on Sky’s back, but he wouldn’t be opposed! He loves taking people on flights! It’s just that he was only home for three days after Demise and he hasn’t been to his era in so long. Kind of tragic that Sky’s spent more of his existence away from home than he has actually on Skyloft or even in his own era. But in the future! After the Cryptid Adventure is done! Sky will fly with Sun! Now, Sun does still have Aria, but they’ll take turns haha!)

WILD!!! He does not vibe with hugs. Pretty much ever. Anyone who grabs him, he will immediately take that as being restrained and he will run away. He is a FREE SPIRIT!!! He’d like to keep it that way.

Sky and Wild do interact! Like, a lot! I think there’s this misconception going around that the Cryptids don’t like Wild? Particularly I’ve seen it with Legend haha! But no!! Wild is so loved! The others are annoyed by his constant thievery but to be honest, it’s kind of endearing! When Wild is focused on one of the members of my Chain, he’s SO focused on them. He’s caring, he’s genuinely very sweet. AND he can be bribed with cool rocks and colorful leaves so. Winning.

Sky and Wild have this whole arc surrounding the Master Sword. Sky’s inseparable from the blade but Wild… he knows something’s not right. He wants to see what will happen if he takes it away. (Sky will not let him steal it).

And… okay. So. Wild struggles so much with the whole being Link thing. He is definitely 100% avoiding it. He spends all of his time running away from Flora, but he’s really running away from who he used to be. He has no memory of ever being mortal- his life is completely irrelevant. Link and the Child of the Mountains are separate. WILD WOULD LIKE TO KEEP IT THAT WAY. He does not want to remember. He does feel overwhelmed.

Still… there are certain things that he cannot run from. And that bothers him SO MUCH.

LEGEND AND WIND!!! What’s Legend’s issue with Wind’s natural form? Please don’t hate me, but Legend is being racist. I have a lot of lore written out about their dynamic and the circumstances that led them to this point. Here’s a post about the War! And here’s a post more specifically about Wind!

But basically, to sum it up. There’s this big war that spans across the timelines between the Mer and Aquili. In Legend’s timeline, the Mer won and he was taught to hate “Sea Monsters.” He was chased from his home by an Aquili scavenger and was never allowed to return, and so he had a very deeply seated hatred AND FEAR of Aquili. In Wind’s timeline, the conflict is still ongoing but it’s not as extreme since Hyrule flooded. He lives on an island of refugees- Mer and Aquili who fled the ocean to find peace. Because of this, the war is distant to him. Something that he’s not connected to. Although… in loosing ties with his people, he’s lost ties with his culture.

I actually have so much more to say about Outset Island in my au! I’m planning on making another big lore post soon where I can go in detail about it!

And I promise that Legend will come to his senses! Soon!

Thanks for sending in this ask! I love rambling about my guys! I hope this helps?

[everythingpie]

hi hi!! is it alright if i may request longan dragon and smilk? brainworms got to me but i cannot fully articulate why

Hie hie!!! Hopefully il be able to help with your understanding of them! Because i know almost NOTHING about longan so this one will be short <\3. I WILL be keeping my rough drafts at the top though, cause theyre very silly this time.

On the surface smilk and longan are 2 powerful characters filled with hatred, with 2 completely different ideals.

Both hate cookies, and have enough power to end them,

Longans most notable trait is their hatred for all cookie kind, and idk what theyre doing but ive heard theyre trying to merge the 2 universes to end all of the cookies?? So il be basing the rest of my analysis on that. Smilk, similar to this finds immense pleasure causing chaos and destruction though id say that there is a hint of care for other cookies as weve seen smilk try and help other cookies and if hes anything like the other beasts actually thinks his beliefs are helpful for earthbread, in which he wouldnt ENTIRELY be wrong but hes still a destructive demon with extremely ill intent and very little understanding of the emotions of others, which is something longan can probably relate to aswell!

Both cookies also hold immense power and may start their relationship trying to use eachother to reach their ultimate goals but over time begin to grow soft.in this i definetly see their opinions changing about cookies having understood eachother it may lead them to believe that mabey not all cookies are bad? Just most of them LOL, i say this mostly cause im sure you and i both want them to stay destructive monsters.

Serious vs silly, dragons are more powerful.

Smilk is a jester, a fool, similar to the purple dragon jester who is apparently on longans side, on the other hand longan holds themself very seriously seeing themself above all other cookies kinda like an ultimate lifeform situation, infact this ship is LITERALLY evil cookie sonadow but il come back to that later. Longan may like the presence of these jester characters as jesters mock the audience, even tho they are the fool often the were used to make a fool out of others, in smilks case he would be making fun of all cookie kind which longan would appreciate, and quite like king and jester i could totally see smilk critising longan and being the only cookie to really get away with it serving as longans right hand, although i dont think smilk would be very fond of being known as someones right hand as that could be seen as a threat to his person, or a way to make him look weaker and disposable which a chronic loner would HATE.

I also had a secomd reason of dragons being stronger than the beasts but i basically already explained that with the whole second in command crap.

"This is MY fucking jester and im going to get him to strangle you to death"

I see them to be very playful, smilk constantly trying to get longan to soften up and stop being so uptight, longan often critical of smilks way of life, the way he cares for cookies, or the way he would "play with his food" how instead of being a jester hes just as fragile and foolish as the other cookies below him which would defo stir drama in their relationship. Also when it comes to longan using milk, straying away from my last idea longan may show more respect for milk as the get to know one another, and to cookies as a whole causing him not to want to senslessly murder them all (to smilks dismay). But with this i feel like as a conpromise he would allow smilk to entertain him and getting him to torture who ever he deems worthy which is almost everyone but hey, atleast he isnt trying to wipe an entire race from existance.

Also circling back to cookie sonadow, the silly blue spikes whos always teasing the emo destructive one thats somehow stronger than him power wise??? Im sorry but this was like the FUNNIEST revelation because i fucking love sonadow.

Anyway if i got anything wrong please correct me, and i hope you like sonadow as much as i do cause that would probably help you articulate your thoughts by ten-fold. Byeeee!!!

[the-heart-of-a-monster]

HOPPING ON HERE AGAIN FOR ANOTHER SUPER LONG THEORY POST BOYSSSSS

Hello THOAM people! How are you all doing today? Good? Great? Did you just have one of the best days in your entire life and you are certain that nothing could possibly ruin it for you now??

WELL YOU ARE WRONG. /j I AM HERE TO RUIN IT ALL.

that is very much a joke I’m sorry I’m very high on adrenaline right now becAUSE THE NEW COVERS FOR ISSUE 9 JUST DROPPED AS I’M WRITING THIS OUT AND I AM SO EXCITED TO SEE WHAT HAPPENS NEXT AND I HAVE SO MANY THOUGHTS. So why don’t I just cut the dilly-dallying and get right on with it?

———

So, first thing I wanna mention is Sonic’s current state and his relationship status. (You may take that as out of context as you want lol) Sonic is currently in an internal state of panic mixed in with exhaustion. MAJOR exhaustion! Bro had to rush to Omega’s aid right after fighting Shadow in a cave full of ice. If that’s not draining as heck then I have no idea what isn’t. And on top of all that, he not only almost killed Omega, but he also knows now that his friends have known what was going on with him for a while! Probably ever since the scene where him, Tails, and Knuckles went out for breakfast and he passed out at the table. (I can’t remember which issue that was atm. I think issue 3…?) In short, Sonic is experiencing a whole rollercoaster of emotions right now, and he isn’t even awake yet! As soon as he wakes up I theorize he’s gonna be asking everyone a lot of questions, and will then ask for elaborations on top of all the answers he receives! I also don’t think he will be as trusting of others anymore, since his friends all knew of his biggest kept secret for a long while now and nobody said or did anything about it!

Now combine that with the guilt he must feel for Omega… The last thing Sonic witnessed before passing out was him going on a rampage and almost killing the robot. He must not feel great about that…! 🫢 And his relationship with Team Dark will be relatively strained as well. I mean, aside from Rouge probably. She loves Omega, but knows the context behind the situation and doesn’t blame Sonic much for what happened, so I think she won’t change much around the Blue Blur. Though his relationship with Shadow was already strained before all that, so… Yeah.

ALRIGHT TIME TO TALK ABOUT CHIP WOOHOOOOOOOO

We all know now that Chip has finally experienced what I’m calling, “✨God Puberty✨”

(Imagine there are pretty pink sparkles floating around the name. Kinda like the classic “You’re watching Disney Channel” thing)

This ✨God Puberty✨ has essentially opened Chip’s eyes, and changes the game completely! Now we not only have a god on our side but also a god who has context! I believe Chip will try and guide Dark Gaia back to its sleeping state to restore balance like they usually do, as explained in the comic, but the attempt will backfire seeing as Dark Gaia was awoken prematurely by Dr. Eggman. (More on him in a second) Chip will keep trying, because they’re a big floofy funny god that just wants food and just went through ✨God Puberty✨ so they’ll naturally wanna keep this going at a peaceful rate. Because despite all of his power, Chip is still Chip. Just a smol bitty guy who wants ice cream. With the addition of being a god. Sonic will then of course have to step in, leading to him getting his Gaia energy taken away and him being free of this curse, and then the events of the game finale play out as normal. Probably. It’s getting late now and I’m getting tired so my brain energy is wavering so idk exactly if that’s what will happen but it’s some food for thought I suppose.

NOW WE CAN FINALLY TALK ABOUT EGGMAN OH MY GOSH YES LET’S TALK ABOUT THE PATHETIC EGG-SHAPED SCIENTIST THAT WE CALL A MAN MADE OUT OF EGGS

To keep this short and simple, I’ll discuss Eggman within the context we have based solely on the new covers alone. Meaning the only speculation I’ll be doing is based off of those and the last few times we’ve seen the guy in the comic. Which actually was… A long time ago, actually. If I’m remembering correctly, that is. I could be wrong. ANYWHIZZLE LEMME STOP JABBERING AND LET’S GET ON WITH THE THEORIZING-

So the first cover shows a new, most likely final form of Sonic’s, encasing Eggman in a cracked eggshell while using his claws. Or more specifically, there is Eggman, acting as an egg yolk, sitting in a puddle of egg whites with the shell on each side of him, while Sonic’s Gaia claws slowly close in on him in the back. Sonic is staring at him menacingly, his anger and frustration reaching a boiling point due to all the stress he’s most likely experiencing combined with the Dark Gaia energy within him. This cover makes me assume that this issue is gonna act as the final battle against Eggman, a final “Screw you!” To the fat man in red. Obviously, Eggy ain’t going down without a fight, as shown in the next cover, but we’ll get to that in a minute.

The first cover suggests that Eggman is gonna be the main role of the issue, and that he’s gonna get his ass kicked. Sonic is gonna confront him, fully transform into his final Werehog form due to anger and stress, and we’ll then move onto the next issue probably. Again, I’m getting tired so this theory is getting pretty sloppy.

Now onto cover numero dos! I love this cover honestly, and it’s literally only because Knuckles and Tails are seen defending a transforming Sonic from Eggman. They are literally using themselves as like. A meat shield. Normally I’d be like “Oh no what happened????” But right now all I can think is “Omg ✨Brothers✨ 🤩”

———

AGAIN IM GETTING VERY TIRED NOW SO I WILL UNFORTUNATELY END THIS HERE AND WILL NOW GO BRUSH MY TEETH BUT HOPEFULLY I WILL REMEMBER TO COME BACK AND ELABORATE TOMORROW IF I HAVE THE TIME. THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR READING, IT MEANS A TON THAT YOU TOOK THE TIME OUT OF THE DAY TO DO THAT.

oki ima go sleeb now thank you bai

The art for the covers was great btw I just wanted to let you know it’s absolutely wonderful I could look at it all day

you're gonna love what's gonna happent his issue, i can tell!!!!!!

only um. i think you were wayyy too tired so you confused sonic with metal sonic. either that ur ur just very polite to metals insistance that he is the real sonic.

[inevitablestars]

HEY LINDS this is my Official Attempt to sway you towards perciver i hope you like it and that it doesnt turn you off them forever, now first off!

general relationship potential:

percy and oliver are in the same year and as far as we know they are the only boys in gryffindor in their year which makes them not only roommates but also the only boys in their room. for seven years.

percy is incredibly misunderstood by his whole family pretty much always, they all avoid him or are rude to him or just misunderstand him completely. with oliver's proximity its very likely hes the first person ever in percys life to properly observe him and understand him!!!

percy is the most career driven singleminded ambitious motherfucker in gryffindor.... second only to oliver!!! who is the most quidditch obsessed bitch on this planet and arguably has more solid career goals of anyone in that entire series. they are hyperfocused! they are girlbossing! they are not getting a wink of sleep bc they both get so lost in their work they forget what time is!

classic jock/nerd combo except oliver is a jock who is secretly a nerd (think of all the quidditch stats!!) and percy is a nerd who is secretly a jock (percy is a master spellcaster and nobody can convince me otherwise, that man fought multiple death eaters on his own at the battle of hogwarts and you do not get that kind of skill from just sitting behind a desk)

idk theres honestly a lot of directions one could take them but theyve just got so much chemistry and so much in common but also different and theyve got so much potential

(in my head they are the definition of autism/adhd solidarity but i know that not everyone hcs them that way which is cool too)

now for fic recs!!!

Twenty-nine - 85k - Endrina

percy weasley-centric fic that is honestly one of the most creative interpretations of him ive ever read, it goes deep into his past and his canonic decisions and stuff but theres a twist to it that is just gold, also its a whodunit where oliver's been framed for murder and only percy knows hes innocent its very very good and definitely played a huge part in me falling in love w percy's character

A New Life - 89k - AnotherAuthor, myroaringtwenties

percy and oliver meet post-war and help each other get their lives moving forward again, its very well written and very sweet but mind the tags its kinda heavy at points, it doesnt shy away from how hard the war was on everyone but the community that the weasleys and the quiddich players have is very warm and i love it

At least he has great abs - 12k - Irisen

this one is a cute shorter nonmagic soulmate au where oliver is a famous footballer and percy is a politician and they end up being soulmates, its very funny and light and i just enjoy it

(also i am technically writing a perciver fic rn its called Rely On Me and the first two chapters are up on ao3 but its my first fic attempt and i havent updated it all summer bc Life so pls dont feel obligated to read it i just felt like it would be weird if i didnt mention it)

anyway! i hope you enjoyed this if nothing else and if you read these or find other perciver fics or just wanna talk about em lmk bc i am always down to talk perciver i love them with my whole heart and soul <3

josephine hello. is this from literally ten months ago? perhaps it is. but i'm here now.... you mentioned perciver earlier and it reminded me that this has been sitting in my inbox for SO LONG

alright let's get into this

• iconic of them to be alone in a dorm for seven years together that already screams soulmates

• you're so right these two get their minds set on something and they're going to get it they're going to achieve whatever they want (tbh i already think they should put that energy toward like Getting Together but i distress)

• nerd jocks! a slay tbh

• i see the autism adhd thing i get it

• i also think like yeah i agree they have a lot in common when you dig into them but from one glance it's like ? these two? really? but then you see who they are at their core and it's like oh of course how could you think anything else (i have a lot of characters and dynamics that this sorta concept applies to i get it)

also love the inclusion of fic recs which i will check out when i am back to reading <3 consider myself convinced (it did not take much you already convinced me by just sending this ask)

[rosemarytales]

thoughts on my ttpd first listen

Fortnight (feat. Post Malone): I've been saying her relationship with alcohol was not healthy bruuuh. I love how she takes her life, which the vast majority of her listeners would not be able to relate to, and makes an "understandable" metaphor out of it. But it must break her to do so. Love Post Malone's voice here, he really compliments her well. THE MV THO with the dead poets <3<3<3<3<3

TTPD: girl go get your lover tf 😭😭😭 whole era dedicated to this muse, incredible.

My Boy Only Breaks His Favourite Toys: getting mad MATHP vibes from the storytelling here.

Down Bad: now I'm starting to really get dragged in the album. The first verse rewired something in me, Idk. also if I speak about the muse... The New Romantics mention, I died dead. Also someone needs to edit kenstewy to the "hostile takeover" bit.

So Long, London: my favourite so far, I am in love with this vibe. It's giving YLM. Also I love the style of the intro, it's channeling the waves in a way, up until this point the album has a very distinct "look" and I can see it so clearly. My real question atp is how are we supposed to just, go on as normal after this album. She is baring her soul in a way she's never done before and it's not a happy soul, so how is just going to go on keeping her happy persona at Eras and how are we going to let her. I think the management is probably gonna make the last songs be happier ones to get back a bit of the persona. Like atp I'm not convinced the 5 stages of grief was her idea and I don't think this mental state is related to a specific breakup or a specific event, this is a cluster of stuff she's been carrying.

But Daddy I Love Him: "growin' up precocious sometimes means not growin' up at all" holy fuck, mood. My heart aches for her, this anger and resentment must have been burning holes through her and people are still probably not gonna see her as she wants to be seen even after this. She couldn't make this pain any clearer and tomorrow she is still gonna have to play pretend.

Fresh Out The Slammer: still breaking these chains!! If anyone at all is listening, there is a Taylor before this album and a Taylor after. Full stop, no going back.

Florida!!!: I LOVE THIS COLLAB I NEED A FULL ALBUM.

Guilty as Sin?: looove the beats on this one.

Who's Afraid Of Little Old Me: "don't you worry folks we took out all her teeth" and the circus life, I am broken. This album is supposed to be her breaking her chains and the general reaction is "what ex caused this". I wouldn't be surprised if she committed mass murder.

I Can Fix Him (No, Really I Can): this song is giving cowboy - Lana Del Rey - old americana vibe and I'm into it. It's a new thing for Taylor but it suits her well, especially with her country past.

loml: feeling the "All Things End" by Hozier vibes. Now that I think about it the whole album is kinda Hozier-y, like very heavy on lyricism, dark storytelling and kinda giving whiskey/soil/heavy clouds. I am obsessed.

I Can Do It With A Broken Heart: girl go to therapy I am begging you.

The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived: THE SOUND!! THE WORDS!! THE TRUST ISSUES!! I love this song.

The Alchemy: psych ward mention in the obligatory football song, I see you, Miss Swift, trying to see who's actually listening. Well, I am.

Clara Bow: Nothing New bridge meets The Lucky One. I don't think anyone wants to be part of the industry after listening to this album, Tay, but we appreciate the sentiment.

The Black Dog: okay MsKingBean89. Also the location, she is hilarious.

imgonnagetyouback: bpdlor shining through, love you queen.

The Albatross: she hates her fans, and she is right. The Matty thing was heinous.

Chloe or Sam or Sophia or Marcus: beautiful song. I don't have many thoughts about it, it's deeply personal for the people involved (like much of the album), and since I'm not one of them I can just say she evokes images so beautifully with her words. She is extremely skilled and talented.

How Did It End?: the sound really captures the image of someone lost in thought at the grocery store, idk what else to say.

So High School: was she sick while recording this?

I Hate It Here: my anthem. me. myself. I.

thanK you aIMee: cute metaphors

I Look In People's Windows: Ebenezer Scrooge-ass anthem (I am crying does anyone remember my "on the glass wall" post, I'm adding this song). I know it doesn't make sense, but to me it sounds like she hadn't been singing for a while and she is incorporating vocal exercises in her songs, Idk why. (like "oh this exercise sounds fun, should insert it in a song").

The Prophecy: oh boy, oh boy, this one hit hard. Like really hard. "Shades of greige" is the perfect way to describe this album, it's rather monochrome and monothonous like sadness often is.

Cassandra: I love me a good Greek mythology reference. Incredible imagery. Bruno Madrigal's anthem.

Peter: yes. yes. this. Peter Pan imagery + Daisy Buchanan vibes, I died dead.

The Bolter: called me tf out. The leaks in the rowboat, my God...

Robin: not crying, you are.

The Manuscript: that's the ending I was talking about. There is no real happy closure, she had to go back 15 years to find a past that doesn't haunt her anymore, that's disheartening. I guess we'll see how this plays out, but I'm afraid she's not all that better. Hope she can take a break and get better soon.

Overall, I loved this album so much. It's everything I hoped Midnights would be and Midnights is in my top 3, so that's saying something. Considering how wordy it is, I think most songs will grow on me even more, looking forward to that.

[winderlylandchime]

3x03 1/3 He is ready with a soda, coffee and a pack of cigarettes. The essentials to watch qaf: ‘okay let’s do this! How will they piss me off now?..look at my Bri Bri hanging out with his son! BRIAN? VOLUNTEERING? Yeah, right. He made files for them? I need an episode where they just show him working and coming up with shit because I wanna see my baby shine!!! HE IS MAKING THEM PAY THEM? HAHAHA GOOD FOR HIM! *he is now screaming on top of his lungs* 100% OF NOTHING OR 80% OF MORE THAN YOULL EVER FUCKING DREAM OF. BRIAN FUCKING KINNEY!!! although he would deliver that line bette- oh I don’t like that car.’ Tv is now paused because he has a lot of feelings about the car. ‘Jeep was better. Jeep is better! But if he wanted a classic or something cool, why not a mustang or something? And i know what youre gonna say! (I want everyone to know, i wasnt gonna say shit since idk shit about cars) People think ‘vette is better but i, a proud owner of a mustang 66 *holds his palm up* DIS *snaps his hand down* AGREE. This *waves to paused corvette* is shaped like a peanut! Nobody wants to drive in a peanut. Nobody likes that car unless they are 70. Why would he buy this? I get that he’s spending money cause he misses Justin but this? Not cute. And not to be hetero car dude but i just want to know what does he like about a peanut shaped car?’ There was A LOT more about the car..A LOT more. It involved youtube videos. ‘EVEN MIKE KNOWS ITS BOYFRIEND REPLACEMENT! FINALLY I AGREE WITH MI-oh god, see what this peanut did to me? It made me agree with Mike. YOU DID HAVE A BOYFRIEND! Oh look! Bri Bri isn’t suicidal about being 30 anymore. (Brian says he plans on being dead by 39) well never-fucking-mind. You are most definitely *starts singing* STAYIN ALIVE, STAYIN ALIVE AH AH AH AH STAYIN ALIVEEEEEEE BECAUSE I, I, I WONT LET YOU DIEEEEEE. Ohhhhh road trip to New York? COUNT ME IN! I love New York! Is he gonna go to new york and then blondie goes after him to kinda make a cool parallel to the time blondie ran off to new york? OH MY GOD I WAS SO WRAPPED UP IN THE PEANUT I DIDNT NOTICE THEYRE PLAYING MY FAVORITE SONG!! Stupid fucking peanut’ ‘i love seeing Debbie smile and happy but a cop? Really?’ ‘ITS BRIAN! Why does he look nervous? Did he just stumble? HES GOING TO JUSTIN?!?! OH MY GOD OKAY OKAY (his name) BE CHILL! We can do this, chill *pauses the tv and actually physically shakes his whole body* HE HAS A PROPOSITION?! Of course he went to Blondie for it, is he trying to win him back-no! We aren’t doing that Bri! He fucked up. But seriously is he trying to win him back? DIDNT HE TEACH YOU ANYTHING? Never do what youre good at for free! *waves to Brian* he is so hot.’ ‘What procedure did Melanie do? I dont wanna be dumb and wrong but how could she have something wrong with her uterus and then a laser can fix it all? That sounds wrong, did a man write this? Probably. Who will be the fath-BRIAN?! He didn’t even cause you that much problems. WHO KNOWS IF HES EVEN NEGATIVE?! FUCK YOU BITCH! FUCK YOU ALL THE WAY DOWN TO HELL! He better not give her his sperm!’ Ethan just popped up on tv ‘OH FUCKING HELL i forgot he existed since i havent seen him in a while. HOW DARE YOU CALL HIM JUS! Nobody. Nobody on this Gods green earth is a bigger snob than you goat boy. No, someone HE knows, YOU don’t even know how to properly shave, call me back when you can actually grow a beard. He isn’t trying to win him back because HE didnt do anything wrong! You are SO fucking jealous. Jealous of his money, jealous of his life and jealous of his looks….rightfully so. But it doesn’t look good on you swetheart, just like that goatee. PROVE IT? I am begging every god that has ever been talked about to PLEASE MAKE THIS STOP’ *immediately pauses tv* ‘every time someone does or says something nice to BriBri, he asks what they want, HAS NO ONE BEEN NICE TO HIM EVER?! Except blondie until he fucked it up. And me! I’m nice to him too! I don’t want Brian to have more kids, i know theyre cute but what if you end up with a boring kid? What if you end up having a Ben?’

CARNIVAL! Such a good episode.

Brian making them pay him is so iconic. This guy.

YES I know nothing about cars so I'm glad your brother can weigh in that the Jeep is far better than the 'vette. Sorry not sorry, the corvette does look like a peanut and it screams mid-life crisis. And just to point out 30 IS NOT MID LIFE. (Sorry read a fic [in a different fandom] where the two characters were 34 and described as middle aged and I had to throw my phone across the room).

Your brother describing Brian as so hot gives me life. Thank you. And yes to all the screaming that he goes to Justin for the poster. You just know that was in his mind the entire time he was negotiating.

‘What procedure did Melanie do? I dont wanna be dumb and wrong but how could she have something wrong with her uterus and then a laser can fix it all? That sounds wrong, did a man write this? Probably. YES men definitely wrote this. Otherwise the female representation would have been... y'know... representative.

Melanie trying to decide who the father should be and then 100% goes with the most wrong choice ever. Let Emmett father a child!

Jealous of his money, jealous of his life and jealous of his looks….rightfully so. But it doesn’t look good on you swetheart, just like that goatee. <- this is legendary and I will never ever be able to watch Ethan and not think this.

very time someone does or says something nice to BriBri, he asks what they want, HAS NO ONE BEEN NICE TO HIM EVER?! Except blondie until he fucked it up. And me! I’m nice to him too! HAPPY SIGH. He gets it, he really really gets it. The people I have coming to me about the house on fire analogy he made. I'm telling you, you've got to introduce your brother to fanfiction...

What if you end up having a Ben. I DIE. (also, true)

[rlljayhon]

12/16/24

i do not even know how to start this because my mind is all fumbled and I feel so numb

mmm ok so we had a talk yesterday because I was very jealous that they went on a couple of dates with this guy that made me very insecure

we stopped talking right after this guy came back into their life, and I can't help but think that I was replaced with something better

it hurts too because while I am not queer, so I cant help them explore anything in that field, but basically we did not date as they said they wanted to explore their queerness

and then 2 months later they went out with the guy who I told them made me jealous/insecure

it makes me feel like they were making an excuse, but also I'm not mad they went and did that, I'm more so mad that I feel this way

their best friend also told them that they don't need a queer romantic relationship to experience queerness bc there is queer spaces and communities where they can feel comfortable and safe

i am just mad they figured it out now AFTER us, and my friend xochi when I confided in her she also said the same thing about not needing to be in a queer relationship to learn about it. I am not queer so I would never say that to this person, as it is not my place

don't get me wrong, i think all my feelings are totally valid, but it is also my fault. I made a mistake by not setting a boundary when we first stopped our "relationship" because they kind of were like ohhh, can we still call and talk all the time? like it was my mistake to say yes, I should have given myself the proper time to heal

i think my depression stems from longing for them because I have like wanted to be with this person for so so long and right when I was the closest I have ever been it all came crashing down and I feel like I was used a little bit

we also talked about how they feel like a bad friend because I am always there for them, and they arent there for me. I kind of agreed, but I thought that they were a "bad friend" because like they basically built me up and brought me down about this whole us maybe dating situation

i also did some self-reflecting. like why is it that the only thing that brings me down is relationships/love? i mean yeah sure there are other things that make me sad, but nothing gets me as down in the dumps like love

why is it so important to me? why do I love so hard? i think I need therapy, but then again so does everyone so

i still plan to be their friend, the future is just going to be tough if they do end up dating a guy, I think I will just have this baggage and uncomfortability about the situation because it will always make me feel insecure, but that is simply an obstacle I will learn to overcome when it happens

why can't someone love ME yknow

i wanna be the one who is chased for once lol

anyways yeah we are taking a little break from being friends, and I think I can get over myself about it, I just need time :3

i am also glad i had this talk with them, I felt like i was bottling up all my emotions because I was too scared to talk to them and set that boundary originally, but I am sooooo glad I did now

we are still friends and we both still want to be friends in the future (kinda unavoidable bc we are in the same org) and I think it will be so painful seeing them sometimes

like i was so sure of them for so long, and I guess it sucks that I didn't get it back even though they seemed to like me that much

idk im venting now and i just keep talking abt the same thing bc its the only thing on my mind

anywho i made a mistake and i must simply learn from it!

who knows! maybe i meet a rev gamer girl who I will learn to love more than anything else I have ever loved before

after saying that i realize i yearn for love so much bc yeah maybe golden rule yknow treat others the way you want to be treated so when I fall for someone I like spoil them and give them everything because that's what I want someone to do for me

GAH WHY DO I LOVE LOVE SO MUCH RAHHH BLARG H

mmmm i think as a friend in the future i will always have a soft spot for them, and no matter what choices they make I will be happy for them as long as these choices make them happy too :)

i am still angry and sad and depressed though

if u read this sorry u had to experience the inner workings of my mind

[nathank77]

8/23/24

5:56 p.m Added to Significantly... 6:10 p.m

I have such bad anxiety about sleeping and whatever happened to me when I microslept in October. I wish I had never looked it up. It's much more than what I thought and I'm prob already almost dead.

My right eye hurts for some reason and my right ear did hurt and kinda pulsate like it wasn't muscular... it was like when you go up a mountain and your ears pop but multiple times. It was too powerful to be a tactile and auditory bc it happened at the same time 3 times in a row... I could hear and feel it.

I know something is wrong with my hearing/ears but my Dr was in my opinion dismissive. Claiming my hearing is excellent and to call if anything is weird... and now I don't feel comfortable calling again. Cause I don't need a follow up. He was weird talking into a microphone the whole appt like I wasn't there. Talking about me. It was fucking weird. And I'm sure he was dismissive bc my file said auditory hallucinations... so he assumes I can't hear well cause I hear that... problem is buddy if the voice I listen to is loud enough I can hear it but everything else sounds like a mumble and the auditory hallucination syeals the mumbles and turns it into the hallucination bc I can't hear it.... bc my hearing is not infact "excellent." I actually think that schwannnoma they thought they saw on my mri could be there.... but yea I guess it doesn't matter.

My eye has been weird. I have anxiety about Graves eye disease and potentially needing tepezza.... and the side effects of that...

I'm terrified of trying to sleep tonight. I'm scared that I won't.

My mouth is dry again sorta. I'm scared about that. I'm just so anxiuos and everything is awful.

I'm scared Kristen will get away with being negligent. Idk what sensation I feel are real. I can't even tell if a pain is bc it gives me anxiety or bc something it wrong.

I'm scared I'm doing all this fighting for nothing. I'm fucking terrified of everything and I don't feel okay and black ops 4 isn't going my way so I'm not distracted.

And the auditory hallucination seems to be worse.. it's not really but this is why I don't game. I need dialogue. Without it all I hear is the same repetitive phrases.

I'm about to end it. I got nothing to live for. And ensuring Kristen loses her license is important. Bc the fact that she can live with herself after everything that she hasn't reached out and said fucking sorry at the very least.

If I can ensure she loses her license my life had the smallest bit of purpose..

I don't have a purpose. I'm not getting married cause no one is mentally ill enough to marry me. I'm not having kids. There won't ever be a vacation for Me. And all I'm going to do is hear this voice while I suffer and wonder are these sensations even real? Or are they tactiles?

This isn't living. I'll be dead and everyone will forget about me. I just want Kristen to remember my name. And I want her to know she killed me.

Even if I don't end my life. Kristen you killed me.

[eye-of-yelough]

woe, numbers be upon you (for the dark urge questions) 1, 3, 4, 11, 13, 16, 21, 25, 30

WOWIE YOU SPOIL ME. THANK YOU

For context in case you or anyone reading this don’t know, Aeryn is an oc i’ve had since looong before bg3, he’s basically a self insert (except he’s isn’t, at all, because we have very little in common) who is my go-to guy to play as in video games. his personality, appearance and all that was all already in my head so. idk some things might not sense because i bend little things here n there to make him more like he is in my head.

ANOTHER thing is that i initially created this guy for the soul purpose of like. tortureporn. just a little meow meow for me to force all of sad horny little edgelord impulses onto with the hope that if i put it all into one character, i wouldn’t do it as much with my others. and then he kinda just evolved from there as i got more invested in him. but he’s still that tortureporn deep down so that’s why there’s So Much going on with him. just thought i’d warn ya.

1) What circumstances led to your durge picking their class/subclass?

Aeryn’s a level 8 “the great old one” warlock/level 4 “gloom stalker” ranger. for warlock, well. the thing you need to know about Aeryn is that he is. very pathetic. i always play him as a glass cannon. he likely wasn’t living up to Murder Daddy’s ambitious expectations for him as being the ultimate killing machine, so he made a deal for an arcane edge. as for gloom stalker urban ranger well. it’s the dark urge.

3) what would your durge consider to be their greatest skill? is this accurate?

seduction, and no. he is off-putting and desperate and only certain people find that charming. i’d say it’s his love. his empathy.

4) what would your durge consider to be their greatest flaw? is this accurate?

just… all of it. the Urge, the rampant sex addiction, (by extension, the need for people to find him physically attractive, that’s so strong it stops him from physically or socially transitioning, which leads him in this weird purgatory, flitting from girlmoding to boymoding depending on he wants to gain sex or respect from a social situation. suffice it to say, no one ever knows what to make of him.) desperate pathetic clingyness and people pleasing borne from a life of profound isolation and rejection, the fact that he’s so so so scared all the time. and, yeah. i’d say that’s pretty spot on.

11) what motivates you durge to either embrace or resist the urge?

fear. love. both ways. he never embraces the urge, never. not deep down, at least. he spends the whole span of the game trying to resist. he’s just… not very good at it. his vibe has always been that “as if it’s my fault my love language is acts of service and all i know how to do is kill” post.

13) how does your durge feel about killing?

horny. jokes* aside, Aeryn is um. more than a little suicidal if i’m being honest. (bear with me) and memory-fucked as he is, that feeling alongside the urge is all he really knows. the belief that life is nothing but one painful disappointment after another is his soul consistent trait. he honestly doesn’t know that life can be more than that. he also doesn’t know that others don’t feel the same. so that’s essentially how he keeps his guilt and shame on a leash. cant be guilty about killing if you see it as an act of mercy.

*it wasn’t a joke at all.

16) what is your durge’s greatest desire?

now this is one i’ve thought about. basically his perfect life would be as the right hand man (executioner or perhaps assassin) and lover (pet) of a great leader who supplies him with many shitheads and sorry bastards to take out his murderous urges on. and have whoever that leader is give him a pat on the head and tell him he’s doing a good job :) and they fuck scary style. (minthara hiiiiii) (yes i am a durgetash exes truther why do you ask)

21) what are two to three songs your durge would relate to?

so glad you asked.

stupid girl by garbage is Thee Signature Aeryn Song to me.

something rotten by placebo

and, as much as i hate to recommend a song by the worlds evilest band, this hurts by msi.

25) how does your durge feel about Sceleritas Fel?

conflicted. he’s like a mascot for his dark urge, and his arrival always means the worst. and yet, he just can’t not fall this silly little freak’s charms.

30) what are your durge’s intentions/goals at the end of the game?

this would be easier to answer if i knew what his canon ending was, but i don’t. i just finished my first ever playthrough earlier today, where he rejects Bhaal and the emperor and becomes a mind flayer and i can safely say that’s not it. (i romanced lae’zel, realised aeryn would be better suited with minthara around the end of act two, and came to the conclusion that this is not his canon run, so i’m just gonna do what feels right and whatever happens, happens) i’ve watched a few videos of the accept bhaal’s gift -> kill the netherbrain -> kill yourself or go crazy and piss yourself ending (which is so unsettling and i really shouldn’t have watched it at 5am) and its REALLY good but. yeah i don’t know.

thanks so much again for asking and letting me talk about my wretched thing. kisses

[thecoddaughter]

GUTS as QSMP

Hey, yall! Quinny back with yet another album breakdown. This time: Olivia Rodrigo's 'guts'

(read below the line <3)

song: all-american bitch

characters/context: jaiden and baghera, general characterization

key lyrics:

“I pay attention to things that most people ignore” “And I am built like a mother and a total machine. I feel for your every little issue, I know just what you mean” “I forgive and I forget” (hahaha yeah they forget a few things… like their whole lives!) “I don't get angry when I'm pissed, I'm the eternal optimist I scream inside to deal with it, like, "Ah"”

song: bad idea right?

characters/context: foolish about mariana (only in the meme sense, i swear…)

key lyrics: 

“Yes, I know that he's my ex but can't two people reconnect? I only see him as a friend. The biggest lie I ever said!” “And I told my friends I was asleep but I never said where or in whose sheets”

song: vampire

characters/context: baghera about the federation 

key lyrics:

“I used to think I was smart but you made me look so naïve. The way you sold me for parts as you sunk your teeth into me!” “You're so convincing… How do you lie without flinching?”

song: lacy

characters/context: foolish about jaiden and cellbit being the federation’s favorites

key lyrics:

“Aren't you the sweetest thing on this side of Hell?” “Like perfume that you wear, I linger all the time, watching, hidden in plain sight.” “The sweetest torture one could bear” “Like ribbons in your hair, my stomach's all in knots. You got the one thing that I want.” “You poison every little thing that I do”

song: ballad of a homeschooled girl

characters/context: jaiden, general characterization (i kinda wanted to put juana but this is more funny)

key lyrics:

“Cat got my tongue and I don't think I get along with anyone” “I broke a glass, I tripped and fell. I told secrets I shouldn't tell. I stumbled over all my words.” “I laughed at the wrong time, sat with the wrong guy. Searchin' "how to start a conversation?" on a website. I talked to this hot guy, swore I was his type, guess that he was makin' out with boys, like the whole night. Everythin' I do is tragic. Every guy I like is gay.” (she’s literally in a qpr with a gay couple but still funny to me) “Don't let me out at night! I'm shocked I'm still alive!”

song: making the bed

characters/context: dapper, general characterization

key lyrics:

“Want it, so I got it, did it, so it's done. Another thing I ruined, I used to do for fun.” “I thought it, so I said it, took it 'cause I can. Another day pretendin' I'm older than I am.” “Push away all the people who know me the best but it's me who's been makin' the bed.” “And every night, I wake up from this one recurrin' dream where I'm drivin' through the city, and the brakes go out on me. I can't stop at the red light, can't swerve off the road. I read somewhere it's 'cause my life feels so out of control.” “They're changin' my machinery, and I just let it happen.”

song: logical

characters/context: idk????? Part of me wanted to but fit and spreen but I know nothing about their relationship.

key lyrics:

song: get him back!

characters/context: (i want put 4halo again but i shouldn’t so you are getting nothing. Listen to the song still its a banger)

key lyrics:

song: love is embarrassing

characters/context: badboyhalo and forever

key lyrics:

“And now it don't mean a thing! God, love's f-----g embarrassing” “And I consoled you while you cried over your ex-girlfriend's new guy. My God, how could I be so stupid?” “I placed my bets and it's not worth anything. I give up, give up but I keep comin' back for more!”

song: the grudge

characters/context: slime to mariana (i’m mean, sorry! this is in the context of juana)

key lyrics:

“I have nightmares each week about that Friday in May. One phone call from you and my entire world was changed.” “You took everything I loved and crushed it in between your fingers and I doubt you ever think about the damage that you did but I hold on to every detail like my life depends on it.” “And I know in my heart hurt people hurt people and we both drew blood, but, man, those cuts were never equal.” “But even after all this, you're still everything to me and I know you don't care, I guess that that's fine.”

song: pretty isn’t pretty

characters/context: leonardo, especially the day before being taken

key lyrics:

“Bought a bunch of makeup tryna' cover up my face” “'Cause there's always something missin'. There's always something in the mirror that I think looks wrong “You can win the battle but you'll never win the war. Fix the things you hated and you'd still feel so insecure.”

song: teenage dream

characters/context: eggs, general characterization

key lyrics:

Pomme - “When am I gonna stop being wise beyond my years and just start being wise?” Leo - “When am I gonna stop being a pretty young thing to guys?” Dapper - “When am I gonna stop being great for my age and just start being good?” Richas - “When will it stop being cool to be quietly misunderstood?” Tallulah - “And when does wide-eyed affection and all good intentions start to not be enough?” Dapper - “When will everyone have every reason to call all my bluffs?” Ramon - “And when are all my excuses of learning my lessons gonna start to feel sad?” Chayanne - “Will I spend all the rest of my years wishing I could go back?” JUST IMAGINE THEM SCREAMING THIS LINE: “​​Oh, they all say that it gets better. It gets better the more you grow. Yeah, they all say that it gets better. It gets better, but what if I don't?”

[buddyapologist]

its 6:30 am and i have the spn au on the brain. i feel like my akira au has more substance to it but i tried writing that and man it was like pulling teeth yk? i really like the concept but that just wasn't going to happen lmao. do love the imagery of buddy with tetsuo powers and everyone riding those sick ass bikes tho!!! anyway spn au rambles below

i rly rly rly want to keep Buddy And Dustin's Grand Adventures located around olathe bc i want their not-so-secret main motivation to be to figure out why brad mutated, so yeah there's been instances of mutants all across the country but their dad never left his hometown and that was ground zero and that might mean something. they're driving around with his notebook trying to find the people who knew him when he was trying to get buddy back but there's so few real names that it's hard to find, and sometimes they find them but it's their bodies or their families who hadn't seen them in a week and fear the worst. they find terry and he's like "oh wow you're actually brad's kid! yeah the last time i saw your dad he ditched us on the side of a road? what happened" and they have to explain everything to him and he's like YIKES OKAY. they try to confront people right before they mutate to figure out what's going on, but they just can't find the connection, because joy isn't just joy, it's been laced into other drugs that people have been buying il/legally for years. the cops and the FBI can't figure it out either, and there were too many hunters who mutated for hunters to stay out of it.

they don't even realize the truth until it's staring them in the face, until dustin catches buddy taking a drug he's never seen before and she says it's a painkiller, it makes her a better hunter because she has to be a hunter now, but he knows something's wrong, and it's so wrong. it's almost too late when they find out that this is the drug that's been causing it the whole time. they know there's a ticking clock on buddy's life when they travel to find the source and shut it all down. bernie shows up to say some cryptic shit every now and then because he's in the exact same boat as her but he's terrified at how quickly it's progressing with her, at how it only took her a few months when it had taken him years. he was supposed to get her hooked on it but now he regrets ever taking that job even though it was the only reason he didn't go to prison.

basically i'm thinking joy kinda serves the same purpose as sam and his addiction to demon blood in s4, but when dustin finds out he's just like :( but you're like 18, baby sister, as opposed to dean who gets mad at like 80% of what sam does. but joy is also kiiiiiiiind of like the croatoan virus maybe? i also kinda like the idea that because joy canonically "makes you feel nothing" it could even make ppl act like how soulless!sam acts. it doesn't have a direct spn counterpart. maybe other hunters have started to guess at it and are trying to infiltrate drug operations and drug manufacturers to figure out where exactly normal drugs are being laced with joy? idk i have a LOT of work to do on this before it can really be a thing. it just came to me one night after watching spn, this was the exact thing i made at like 3 am on a google doc one night lmao

[shawtuzi]

heyy idk if you do requests but if you do, can you PLEASE do plug!eren or plug!connie actually using or aiming his glock at someone 😩 n y/n gets so turned on

hello bb the answer to both your questions is yes!!! requests are always open but i might take a while to get to them <\3 btw idk why i make jean the villain in almost every eren fic i write i literally love him sm

this is 18+///cw include: black coded reader, drug usage, slight possessiveness, MAJOR GUN KINK, kinda cervix fucking, more bad writing

it was very rare for eren to use his glock ever. yes he was a dealer but he tried to keep the violence of that lifestyle out of his and your lives. your safety was his top priority and he’d be damned if you got hurt because of something that had to do with him, but of course the one time he had to use it you were with him witnessing everything.

everything was going perfect. the two of you were walking back from the park blazed and full from the sandwiches and other snacks you packed for your picnic. eren had his arm wrapped around your shoulders while yours was wrapped around his waist, your other hand swinging the small wicker basket you used to carry the food back and forth.

“aye eren!” you heard someone yell instantly feeling eren tense up. you looked to the side but eren kept you straight picking up his walking pace, “just keep walking” he spoke in a hushed tone pulling your body incredibly close to his. “what you ignoring me now jaeger? what’s the rush to get home?” you heard the person yell once again and now you were beginning to worry.

you’d never seen eren be so skittish before and it made the uneasy feeling in your stomach grow bigger by the second, increasing tenfold when you realized these people had no intentions of leaving you alone. “what do you want jean?” eren spoke in a monotone voice never once looking over or stopping his fast face. you nearly tripped over you feet when you heard eren say the persons name. eren was a very unproblematic man never being the one to entertain pointless arguments, but there was something about jean that made eren want to pop a cap in his every time he heard his voice.

“heard you were talking a lot a shit, there something you need to say to my face playboy?” eren could’ve easily handled this by pulling him out the car and beat his ass but he held himself back, fearing that this side you’ve never seen of him would be too much to handle. eren made a vow to himself one night after the two of you smoked —still friends and still getting acquainted— that he would never involve you in this life. the thought of any of the sketchy weirdos he’s met making you uncomfortable makes him homicidal to say the least.

“nothing that i already haven’t said to your face playboy now if you don’t mind i’m busy,” your heart was now beating incredibly fast and your mind was racing a mile a minute you hadn’t even noticed the bruising grip eren now had on your arm. jean kissed his teeth looking you up and down, “oh i see…this your bitch here? why don’t you send her my way when you’re done i like em’ thick too.” eren stopped dead in this tracks whipping your body behind him as he turned toward jeans car and that’s when you felt it. the glock 43 you thought he usually kept in his glove box or safe tucked behind his back.

“fuck did you say?” eren asked his voice dropping two octaves. at this point all he could see was red. it was one thing to roll up on a man and his woman but it was a whole other thing to lust after her and call her a bitch right in front of his face.

“i said send your bitch my way when you’re done.”

it all happened so fast. one minute to you holding onto eren for dear life, the next you were pushed away eren now holding the glock right in jeans face. it was a clean shot right between the eyes. now of course eren knew better knowing jean wasn’t even worth the murder charge, but jean didn’t know that. “woah woah- hey i was just playin’ eren!” the smirk jean was once sporting now gone and replaced with a look of pure fear. “i tried giving you a chance to leave but you never know when to quit to do you?” eren chuckled dryly his index finger resting lightly on the trigger.

jean didn’t even get a chance to respond before eren told him to get the fuck on leaving an obnoxious tire screech behind him. the ringing in his ears had stopped his attention now solely focused on making sure you were okay. eren tucked the glock away once more turning to you, “i’m sorry i did that he just gets on my nerves so fucking bad and then him calling you a bitch just-“ he was cut off by you bringing him in for a soul searing kiss. “it’s okay eren really, thank you for sticking up for me” you gave him another kiss lightly sucking on his bottom lip.

eren chuckled grabbing you lightly by your jaw, “don’t tell me that shit got you in the mood” he asked in a teasing tone running his thumb over your lips. “maybe just a little” you giggled pressing a small kiss to his thumb before taking it into your mouth lightly sucking. “oh really? let’s get you home then i’ll take care of you ma.”

not even 20 minutes later eren had you bent over on the couch in his apartment moaning and whining like a bitch in heat. “erennn” you whimpered bringing a hand back to push against his pelvis but eren just smacked your hand away with his free hand while the other held blunt. after the jean situation eren needed to regroup and what better way to do that than pussy and a blunt???

he glanced at the glock that sat on the coffee table a sadistic smirk gracing his kiss swollen lips. eren grabbed you by your throat pushing your body flush against his chest, “hold this for me will you?” he asked setting the blunt between your lips. suddenly you felt something hard and cold press against the side of your head and you immediately knew what it was. “oh shit you like that huh? felt you get real tight around me,” he grunted snatching the blunt from your trembling lips. “y-yes i love it” you sighed dreamily moving your hips to meet his shallow thrusts.

eren set the blunt in a nearby ashtray before wrapping his hand around your throat while the hand holding the glock pressed it harder against your head. “god what do you think people would say if they found out you get turned on watching me threaten people with this? or how you’re on the verge of cumming just from me holding it to your fucking head huh?” you didn’t even have an answer to his question not because you were too embarrassed to answer, but because the combination of his tip brushing against your cervix, the glock against your head, and his rough grip on your neck left you a brainless drooling mess.

you were slightly brought back into reality when you felt the cool metal of the glock press against your lips, immediately opening your mouth to let him slide it in. “i know how much you like when i do this so go ‘head baby suck it like it’s my dick,” eren chuckled darkly nibbling on the lobe of your ear. your knees were becoming terribly weak and if it wasn’t for eren holding you up by your neck you would’ve fallen fast first into the couch cushions.

four orgasms later eren had finally let up giving you a break before he started the next round. he was now on his back while you sat on his dick, a blunt being passed between the two of you. “suck it one more time f’me wanna get this shit on camera,” he giggled taking a hit of the blunt while his other hand held his phone. “okay okay since you asked so nicely,” you happily grabbed the glock once more licking it from the bottom of the barrel to the top suckling on the tip of it like you would his cock.

eren zoomed in on the way your plush lips sucked on the glock, swirling your tongue around it extra slowly making his dick twitch. you let go of the barrel with a lewd pop noise before setting it aside once more a bashful smile making its way onto your face.

“man i fucking love you y/n.”

[flame-cat]

okay kim stans, now that I have your attention I'm dropping a fic idea that I'll never ever make. free to a good home. kisses kisses kisses <3

kind of smashing together a bunch of little ideas I've shown off and also kept in my brain privately for fun-having reasons. it's kind of just my dissertation on why kim is absolutely pathetic when you take down his walls. he's a tin soldier. nothing but thin walls and hollow insides. <- OUGH THATS GOOD USING THAT AT SOME POINT

so basically vague handwavey idea that I think its some time into like, the point a lot of the meta-fandom narrative has gotten to, some time down the line after a lot of the initial Mess post-martinaise smooths out into something that looks normalish, or at least isn't an immediate crisis. harry is on a sober streak, [the Hetero-Sexual Life Partners are at the very least not constantly trying to kill each other (kim has had a Talk with Jean, who is mostly just privately seething and malding now and feeling incredibly sorry for himself). ] <OR> [there was an Incident where Jean got really REALLY sorry for himself and made a whole fucking scene and basically tried to kill himself, heavily based on a fic i read (called Trigger Warning) it kinda woobifies jean a bit but other than that its soooo fucking good but tl;dr the jobwives have made up and ] kim and jean are kind of both Harry's partner in ways? jean is still a satellite officer but a lot of times he gets paired up with Harry and kim and they're kind of the nightmare blunt rotation right now.

soooo again handwaves somehow one of the old cases Kim's partner left behind that was left cold picks up a lead again out of the blue and Kim is. well. he's normally a workaholic but this is intense even for him. like Jesus. nobody at the 41st has seen him like this. he doesn't sleep for days on end. (maybe he picks up speed? from jean? he considers doing it in-game to improve his Performance so I don't think thats above him).

anyway rock meet hard place Harry finally gets the poor sod to take a god damn break and go home, he and jean can sort out his disaster area of a desk and cover for him. Kim obliges, goes home and- OH SHIT WHO IS THAT! uhhh its all very vague in my head here but tl;dr Kim gets jumped maybe? nd this was all some sort of like. Ploy? to uhh . idk I think maybe the moralintern is involved in ways. but uh eyes is alive and was an espionage and faked his death and is now like. idrk yet if He stabbed Kim or what, or why its all even. happening in the first place. and tbh its not important to me cause I'm never gonna write it, I don't plan to its just something to play with at night to fall asleep.

important bit is now Kim is Leaking Everywhere and well. doesn't exactly have time to call gotlieb. so. he stitches himself up (NOT THAT WELL) and trudges back to the precinct to report to pryce. understandably people are freaked out by the Blood and stuff. harry comes with Kim to the briefing. shit gets Revealed. Kim dissociate. harry is like uhhhh okay well his home isn't safe anymore. jean can he crash on your couch can you drive us there while I sit in the back with him. and jean is like. fuck. okay. and yeah Kim kinda comes back into it on the ride there, has a Teensy Weensy (HUGEBADMASSIVE) panic attack, eventually calms down enough to clamber out of the car and. jeans apartment is 4 floors up and there's no elevator. hell on earth. Kim refuses to be helped up but 2 floors up he trips and let's jean help him, then they get to the top and Kim is like. Jean. and jean is like what- ohgodyoureunconsciousnowokayharryopenthedoor. and uhhh the rest is pure self indulgent "the boys nurse him back to health mwah" but way messier obvs. like fully "ok I have to take out the stitches you did and restitch you, throw back this glass of whiskey and try not to vomit on me. oh well he passed out. at least he's not feeling it?" and yeah.

anyway there's a Conversation between jean and harry at one point because the through line here is that harry is trying to keep his Boys safe but he doesn't know how they can keep doing This *gestures to the cop thing* and so jean is like okay well are we gonna work the case without him orrrrr and harry is like I am NOT moving a MUSCLE until Kim is 100% okay. he stayed with me for 2 days after I got shot. and jean is like okay bye- and harry is like no listen. I don't. we are killing ourselves here. and jean is like yeah? point? and harry is like maybe we. shouldn't. and they have a whole argument about it but that wakes up Kim who eats shit trying to get up and they both like rush in to make sure he didn't fuck up the new stitches or bust his head open right, and Kim is like. okay conflict resolution time. refuses to back down until everything is explained in detail to him even if he's still loopy. anddddd tl;dr Kim agrees with harry and idk what happens next but there u go

[adorerdraco]

Not My Type (Like You) ✧ Draco x Reader

Request: you should like do a one shot or even another mini series about amortentia/love potions in general. i’d soooo read that

AU SEVENTH YEAR WHERE VOLDY NEVER CAME BACK <3 f**k that mf !

italics are for flashbacks <3 i love them if you couldn’t tell 

Warnings: mean!draco, cursing, more mature themes/ideas, little bit of spice towards the end teehee but not too much bc idk how to write smut to save my life

Words: 4.5K

A/N: I saw a tiktok that kinda inspired this and i couldn’t get the idea out of my heaaaad if anyone knows which one im talking ab send it my way so i can show !!!! ALSO I LOVE THIS ONESHOT I LOVE DRACO AND I AM IN MY FEELINGS this might be my new favoriteeeee

Draco Malfoy was insufferable.

The Prince of Slytherin was unbearable for many reasons, things you've been taking notice of since your first year at Hogwarts when you accidentally had the ”pleasure” of interacting with him when he called you stupid in a class for reciting a spell incorrectly. That day, a hostility blossomed. A hostility that ensued nothing but teasing, mocking, and criticizing that would sometimes go too far and you'd both have to be pulled away from each other by your friends’ before either of you said anything excessively harsh that had no return.

You often felt like Malfoy sought you out to bother you and only for that. You could be sitting in the Quad with friends, conversing and laughing like nothing in the world mattered, and a few minutes later you'd be hurling insults towards the blond across the courtyard after he would yell something infuriating to you with that smug smirk on his face and his goons laughing wildly beside him as if he just said the most hilarious thing they've ever heard. 

On the days you’d ignore him, not having the patience or the energy to deal with him, he would still somehow find a way to push your buttons. Little things here and there like passing you in the corridors and tugging at the ends of your hair gingerly like a child but enough to tick you off or sending you notes from across the class in the form a small fluttering bird with a lousy drawing of you usually with a message along the lines of, “Y/L/N, hopefully, this note finds itself in the nest of hair you have today xx DM.”

In all honesty, there wasn’t a day you didn’t encounter Draco and it’s been that way for seven long years. Neither of you ever gotten tired of mildly or spitefully bullying each other and neither of you ever dreamed of stopping. He was one of the few constants in your daily life, and you in his. It was like you both lived on annoying the other, and in the midst of all the chaos that you brought to one another; there was a small, teeny, tiny acquaintance - not that either of you would ever admit it. You may have noticed it the time you bet each other ten galleons for who would win in the Triwizard Tournament your fourth year and he bet on Viktor Krum while you on Cedric Diggory. (he’s very much alive i refuse to think otherwise.)

“So you’re telling me, your mother is the reason why you’re not at Durmstrang,” you scoffed. “This whole time I could have been saved four years of headaches.”

“You’re just jealous some of us have more opportunities than others,” he snarks back pompously. “Unlike you, I hardly believe you would be graceful enough to even be considered admission into Beauxbatons.”

You had gone to see the last task of the competition just like the rest of the schools, all packed tightly onto the stands and watching carefully the exit of the maze. Naturally, you had arrived with your own friend groups, but somewhere during the time of sitting there and even being a few rows behind the blond and his minions, the two of you had met in the middle bench after he was trying to prove something wrong to you. 

When Cedric appeared back in front of the stands with the glowing Triwizard cup held high over his head in victory and every Hogwarts student loudly celebrating, you had jumped up from your seat and shook wildly an irked Draco beside you. He roughly shrugged your hands off his stiff shoulder, looking up at you with a sneer that you met with a bright beaming smile.

“Pay up, Malfoy!” You held out your hand towards him, opening and closing your fingers to receive the bet money. “I believe it was ten galleons you owe me.”

He begrudgingly reached into his coat pocket and fished out the coins, counting them defeatedly before tossing them into your palm. “What a waste of galleons.”

“Hey, you made the bet,” you reminded him with a still very bright smile. You shoved the money into your pockets, keeping one of the gold coins in between your fingers, and gave him a small hair ruffle that he harshly recoiled from before you turned to jump back up towards the level of stands your friends were originally sitting at.

“Were you really sitting with Malfoy this whole time?” One of your friends questioned when you reached them, a goading smirk on his face.

“Ooooh, she definitely was,” another friend piped up, wiggling her eyebrows. “They’re obsessed with each other.”

“Shut up,” you smack her arm casually, showing the pair the one gold galleon you were holding. “We are not. I was only sitting with him to get my bet money.”

“Sure,” they drawled in unison, sniggering when you threw your head back in annoyance.

You looked down the rows to see the mop of white hair you just sent into disarray. He was slowly descending the stairs of the stands with Crabbe and Goyle following closely behind him. Almost as if he felt your eyes on his back, he turned back to look at you, his cold gray eyes gazing into yours. It was like everything around you went quiet, the only thing in your focus was him and all you could do was stare back. It wasn’t until your friends started stifling laughter and whispering “aww’s” that you snapped out of the short-lived and odd few second trance you were in. He waited for you to do something before he turned back around, and you did - by holding up both hands; the one golden galleon on your left and your middle finger on your right, grinning to yourself when he rolled his eyes throwing you the finger right back before he finally disappeared into the mob of people below.

You were briskly walking down the corridors, books held tightly to your chest with your friend at your side while you made your way to Advanced Potions with Slughorn after Snape finally made his way into the DADA position. It was an easy class, potions being something you had a knack for and it gave you enough leisure to mess with your “favorite” Slytherin who shared it with you. 

“Look there goes your boyfriend,” your friend teases, elbowing your upper arm roughly and nodding her head down towards the hall to the tall blond appearing around the corner and entering swiftly into the class.

“He’s not my boyfriend,” you hiss. “I’m tired of everyone saying that. I hate him and he hates me, end of story.”

“You know when you say you hate him, it just sounds like the opposite,” she says tauntingly. “Besides, hate is a strong word and very misplaced. Maybe, it’s just years of built-up tension that both of you have been too nervous to do anything about.”

“Tension? Yeah, I want to strangle him,” you laugh to yourself at the thought.

“Not that tension, idiot,” she shakes her head, “I mean sexual tension...clearly.”

You gave her a horrified look mixed between being disgusted and being offended. You held your hand over your mouth and pretended to gag as dramatically as you could. “I am appalled that you would even say that. I would rather be locked in a room with Filch and Peeves and hear them argue and fight all day than to be with Malfoy like that.”

“Come on, think about it,” she encourages, stopping the two of you a little ways away from the classroom. “You guys 'hate' each other?” She finger quotes the hate, looking at you with a raised eyebrow. “When you hate someone, you don’t go out of your way to talk to them every day.”

“It’s not like that,” you wave a hand dismissively. “Also, this isn’t a cliche, this is real life. We hate each other, that is all there is to it.���

You picked up the walk again, your friend to following behind you while letting out a deep and exhausted sigh. You couldn’t help but think about what she said, sure, perhaps at one point you thought Draco was attractive with his bright silver hair, his glittering gray eyes, his little button nose that he would crinkle up every other word he spoke in his charming haughty voice, or the way he’d tower over you in the middle of a conversation gone wrong and he’d be talking lowly to you but all you’d be able to focus on was the sweet scent of apples and cologne that radiated off of him.

“No,” you whispered almost silently to yourself, forcing yourself out of your thoughts and shaking your head from side to side as if it was going to get the image out of your head. He was mean, disrespectful, arrogant, and insulted you daily - even if you both laughed about it or gave props for the perfect jabs.

The first thing your eyes landed on when you walked into the dingy Potions classroom was Draco, his focus trained on the ceiling as if he was deep in thought. Just as his eyes were about to flicker down towards you, and sensing that he was about to, you quickly avoided his gaze and concentrated onto Slughorn who was waiting patiently by his desk with a bubbling cauldron for you and your friend to join the crowd in front of him.

“Great! Now that we’re all here,” Slughorn began excitedly, fixing the sleeves of his robes as he grabbed the ladle in the cauldron and began stirring it while continuing his lecture. 

You were trying to listen, capturing only the professor’s last sentence as he called on someone who raised their hand. All attention was thrown out the window when you realized Draco was standing near said classmate, a look of annoyance suddenly clouding his features when his pale eyes met yours.

“What?” He mouthed. You ignored him, trying to turn your concentration back onto Slughorn but nothing he was saying made sense, and right as you caught a word you did understand, a shuffling and an abrupt arm knocking into yours threw you right back out of the loop.

“Watch it,” you snap hushedly when you notice who it is. “Why are you over here?”

“I can’t say hello to my number one fan?” He whispers back, snickering slightly when you scoffed quietly.

“Fan? Says the one who shoved his way through the crowd to come over here,” you grumble, crossing your arms. 

“I hardly shoved,” he mutters. “I only moved because I couldn’t see Slughorn from where I was standing. Not everything’s about you.”

“Really? Because to me, it seemed like you came over here for my attention.”

He let out a breathy chuckle, a patronizing smile making its way onto his face. The type of typical boy smile where his mouth is half agape with his tongue smoothing over his teeth as he stared off across the room with his fingertips rubbing thoughtfully against his jawline as he thought of what to say. You stood still as he bent down, nearing his mouth towards your ear and whispering hotly, “you wish, darling.”

Slughorn sent everyone to their paired tables, and as everyone began moving and Draco sauntered off away from you, you stood stuck there, shocked with the lingering chills that were sent down your spine from your archnemesis’ comment.

“I told you, you’re into each other,” your friend sang expectantly from behind you, grabbing onto your sleeve and directing the two of you towards your table. 

You were working peacefully at your workspace, cutting up, peeling, and crushing the ingredients that your friend was sliding across the surface to you. In the table behind you was where Draco was working annoyingly quiet, tossing the stripped stems of the roses at you that you had to peel, tiny thorns pricking at your ankles through your socks since the bigger thorns had been taken off for the potion. As payback, you would throw back loose extra pearl dust you ground up, giggling tauntingly when he would frown at you for getting the coarse white powder all over his Italian leather shoes and most definitely inside of them as well.

When you, and seemingly the rest of the class, had finally thrown in all the ingredients and the potion promptly finished brewing, beautiful clouds of white and pink smoke began rising from the cauldrons, each one having a lovely scent of first; freshly pressed high-priced linens, then a faint smell of a brand new racing broom out of a box with a freshly polished wood handle that then quickly transformed into a sweet harvest of apples, green specifically, and finally...

“Ugh, gross,” you pinched your nostrils closed, turning your body around and sending a scowl towards Draco’s way. “Malfoy, we get it, your cologne is expensive, now stop spraying it. I was smelling all these wonderful things and you ruined it.”

He arched an eyebrow at you, looking at you as if you were crazy. “Are you mad? I didn’t spray anything, I think you’ve finally lost it.”

“Well you laid it on too heavy this morning then, it reeks in here.”

“You’re one to talk, Y/L/N. Did you bathe yourself in that dreadful perfume you wear just now? And that ghastly lip shiner thing you use,” He sneers, crinkling up his nose. “I can’t even think straight, I might vomit.”

“Lip shiner? It’s called lip balm, you prat,” you retort, crossing your arms angrily. “Either way, I haven’t used or sprayed anything either so-”

“For Merlin’s sake!” Your friend suddenly exasperated loudly from beside you making you briskly whirl around to look at her, a look of pure annoyance etched onto her face. “Are you two really that daft? Honestly? Have you been paying attention to anything other than each other? For instance, the potion we just made?”

This gained the attention of your classmates around you in the surrounding tables, turning their heads slightly but not obviously with small knowing smirks on their faces while they snickered quietly and listened. It was soundless as you reached towards the book in front of your friend, pulling it painstakingly slow towards you in fear of the words that were written on the open page.

“Amortentia,” you muttered glumly as you read the page, pushing it away from you dejectedly as everything began to click.

“The reason you’re both smelling each other is because you’re what the other desires and is attracted to. Wow, what a revelation! As if the whole school didn’t already know.”

You were afraid to turn around. You could feel the cold and hard pair of eyes burning holes onto your back and the immediate amount of whispers and giggles of the people around you. Luckily, Slughorn was busy at the other end of the room, working diligently with another pair of students who managed to mess up their potion. 

“That’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard,” Draco announces finally.

“What’s so ridiculous about it?” You questioned, your heart falling to the pit of your stomach when you turned again and took notice of the way his lips were curling upwards as if it was the most disgusting thing he could have ever heard.

“Think about it, Y/L/N,” he deadpans. “Why would I ever desire someone like you?”

There had been occasions over the years when you were in this situation. None as drastic and as revealing, but there would be times when friends and others would poke fun and say the exact same thing your friend told you earlier. The usual, “they got the hots for each other!” and you would always brush it off and joke about how you could never, and he’d do the same. It was always amongst laughs and jokes, but as you looked at the Slytherin in front of you - there wasn’t a hint of amusement on his hardened face.

“Piss off, Malfoy,” you seethed, biting down hard on your lip to refrain from lashing out either in tears or in insults, you couldn’t decide. “If I’m so revolting, leave me alone from now on, I mean it.”

“I never said that,” he argues. “You’re just simply not my type.”

For some eerie, awful reason, the words tore into you like a sharpened knife going easily through butter. You were used to his insults, his mocking, his comments about your appearances - but this hurt, and you couldn’t explain why. You thought, for a second, possibly, that maybe your friend was right. Maybe there was a hidden attraction you had for the platinum blond that you buried deep away and one that he had for you. There was no way that was the case now, not at all. 

And for the first time in your life, you couldn’t be more sure of a simple little fact.

You hated him.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 

You don’t know how long you spent sitting in Moaning Myrtle’s bathroom, back against the cold tiled wall with your knees brought up to your chest. Your friends had tried to console you after the public rejection and humiliation, but their words only made you feel worse. You felt silly for being so bothered about being rejected by Malfoy, he wasn’t exactly someone you fancied, to begin with.

After dinner, you went off the grid and found yourself where you’re now sitting. The ghostly girl flew restlessly around you, popping out of her stall now and then to chat but then going back into her abyss of nothing when she learned you were still upset. You noticed it made her a little too pleased, considering the fact it was always her who was miserably wailing about her problems in the bathroom. She tried to hide it and let you talk to her about how you felt, but she gave terrible advice most of the time. 

“Well, if it was me, I would have never started fancying someone who was mean to me,” she mumbled. “Like when Paul Wighorn made fun of my hair for a whole year and laughed when I cried. I hated his guts then and I still do now.”

She had a point, but she was also Myrtle. Nothing about the overly dramatic ghost made sense.

“I don’t fancy him, It’s just weird,” you trail off. “I can’t imagine a day without him, even if he is a complete arse. We always joked about how we hated each other, but I didn’t think he actually meant it, I guess.”

“I think you do fancy him, though,” she whispers knowingly in your ear, making you flinch from her cold draft. “Stop denying it, it’ll only keep making you feel worse. Amortentia doesn’t lie, silly. Maybe when you drink it, but before that, all real feelings are there, whether you know it or not.”

You sat quietly, taking in her words before something came crashing down onto you like a wall of bricks.

“I suppose that means he’ll have to stop denying it too,” she adds thoughtfully. 

“Myrtle,” you rush to get up, smoothing your hair down profusely and fixing the wrinkles in your clothes. “You’re a genius.”

“I am?” She asks excitedly. “What did I say?”

You waved her off, giving her another thank you before rushing out of the bathroom and into the empty corridors. You were trying to go back to your dorm to sleep, hoping that when tomorrow came you would be bold enough to confront the Slytherin Prince but it was thirty minutes past curfew, something you didn’t notice until you were bustling down the steps in a rush and came face to face with the man of the hour himself doing his Prefect patrolling duties.

“Go to your dorm, Y/L/N,” he sneers. “I’ll take away house points, don’t test me,”

“I don’t believe you.”

“That I’ll take away house points? Watch me. Five-”

“No, you twat,” you groan, swatting his arm with your hand. “I don’t believe that I’m not your type.”

He stayed wordless for a moment, biting the inside of his cheeks and clenching his jaw as he peered down at you from his lanky height. “Why not?”

“Because I didn’t think you were my type until the amortentia made me aware of it,” you answer quietly. “Actually, my friend had a hand in it, but it was mostly the potion.”

Silence, again. Still and deadly. You could hear the large clocks around the school tick and tock, the hundreds of paintings snoring peacefully or chattering quietly. You avoided looking up at the boy in front of you, all of a sudden feeling small under his gaze until you felt cold fingers brush against your cheekbone and then softly through your hair causing you to finally look up into the soft wandering almost blue eyes. 

“I didn’t find out with the amortentia,” he muttered almost reluctantly as if it was the most difficult thing he had to reveal. “I’ve known I’ve liked you for a while.”

“How long is a while?” You curiously wonder aloud.

“I’m not telling,” he smirks. “Perhaps you’ll figure it out one day.”

Both hands came up to rest on your cheeks, slightly cold but soft and tender. It sent chills throughout your body as he took a step closer to you and then closer, backing you carefully into the diagonally ascending stone wall that went in the direction of the stairs. Your breathing was getting uneven, you noticed the way you accidentally switched to manually forcing yourself to inhale and exhale normally when he leaned down with his face now being mere centimeters from yours. It was torture, having your eyes closed and feeling the way his nose was brushing against yours, minty breath warm against your lips as he ghosted over them with his. He was so close, you smelt everything that was in the damn potion that got you here. It sent flutters of warmth down your body, trickling down and seeping deeply into every bone in your body as if this is was the remedy its been needing. This is what you’ve been missing.

When you finally felt a soft pair of lips being pressed into yours, it felt almost unreal that you were there. It was awkward the first couple of seconds, both of you wondering how in the world had you gotten yourselves in this position, but after you relaxed and he found his Prince of Slytherin confidence - it was magic. His lips moved languidly against yours, affectionately and full of longing. He kept his hands on your cheeks, still timid to move anywhere else while you kept yours resting lightly on his sides. It scared you a little, how fast and how easily you melted into each other, like if this was something you’ve been doing with him for years rather than torment the other for laughs. 

You hated the feeling when he pulled away, a gust of freezing castle air passing through the space between you and cooling your lips and face from his contact. His hands dropped down to his sides and he looked down at you with a small smile, a teeny bit smug, but happy. You wanted to feel the same way, but a question still loomed over your head, overpowering the giddiness you were vividly feeling.

“Why did you lie earlier?” You question softly, directing your gaze to the floor. “In class, I mean.”

He thought about his answer for a second, sighing deeply when he realized he had to uncover more truths about himself to you. You took a mental observation at that, he didn’t like to talk about feelings. “You didn’t say anything. Didn’t even look at me. I thought I’d beat you to it and reject you before you could reject me.”

“What made you think I’d reject you?” You coaxed. “Other than the fact that I made you a sworn enemy at eleven.”

“Exactly that,” he laughed lightly. “You’re unpredictable, Y/N.”

You smiled to yourself at the realization that he finally used your first name. “So are you, Draco.”

“Not really,” he grins. “Like in just a few moments, for example, I’m going to start snogging you.”

You opened your mouth to encourage him but shut it quickly when he closed the space between the two of you again, this time much closer than he was before. He was flush against you, and when you say you could feel everything; you could feel everything. You were almost begging for him to lean down and kiss you again by the time you felt his hands on you again, running delicately around the exposed skin of your hips when your shirt hiked up an inch on accident. He leaned down again, and with the advantage of his lowered height, you let your hands slide up his arms, biceps, and ultimately the nape of his neck where your fingers continued up into his hair. The breathiest gasp escaped his throat as you tugged at the ends gently, smirking to yourself when he closed his eyes in delight at the touch.

His lips came down onto your fast this time and hastily, pressing himself impossibly closer into you. You could feel his grip tighten against your hips, his hold moving upwards onto your waist as he continued to kiss you fervently. His teeth bit down softly on your bottom lip and you wasted no time in parting them slightly for his tongue to meet yours. You tugged at the platinum strands of hair again, feeling triumphant when a low groaning sound emitted from his throat at the sensation as he tilted his head to deepen the kiss further.

You knew you were done for when one of his hands slowly slid up your upper body, stopping first at your collarbones with warm fingertips fluttering over the skin, before he moved it upwards completely and he now had his large hand wrapped comfortably around your neck. You gasped in delight into the kiss, a swarm of butterflies going directly to your lower stomach as he squeezed against the artery in your neck meticulously, the coldness from his Malfoy family crest ring only adding fuel to the fire. He tore his mouth away from yours with his hand still clutched firmly around your throat and you were almost sent into orbit with the look he was giving you. A look filled with desire, adoration, and intensity - his pale gray eyes were much darker, almost a dark blue that resembled the starry night sky on a summer night.

Lips reattached themselves roughly and feverishly against your jawline, peppering long and tender kisses all the way towards your ear and then down towards your collarbones where he was beginning to undo the rest of the top buttons of your school dress shirt. You felt him smile against your hot skin when you’d writhe underneath him, emitting weak whimpers that you couldn’t hold back that he ended up having to clasp a free hand over your mouth as he whispered into your ear to stay quiet.

It didn’t matter that you were in the middle of a poorly lit corridor where anyone could walk past and see the frenzy that was unfolding, nor did it matter to Draco that his Prefect duties were long forgotten. Your friend was right, and everyone else for that matter; it wasn’t hate you felt for the blond at all, it was years and years of a craving and a hidden yearning packed with displaced tension.

And now, you were both exactly where you wanted to be; together.