#idk how to do IDs this is why I don’t do them- don’t yell at me pls

[rotteneldritchhorror]

Sometimes I go a lil overboard—

In order:

Nepeta Leijon headcanons

[ID I guess?: “Gender(s): Nonbinary, transneu, clutterthing, killercatic, gnawstimmic, sillything, genderfluid, girlboything, galesensic, cutecritter/crittercute, catpawic, catgender, autieuria, genderhoarder, autithing, huntix, genderqueer, euphorica, lexicatic, catpunlexic, ᓚᘏᗢgender, :3gender, >:3gender

Pronouns: She/he/they/it/mew/paw/stim/nom/meow/:33/🦷/🧶/🐾/🫙/🫖/🏹/💌/♠️/♣️/♥️/♦️

Disorders/disabilities: Autism, anxiety, PTSD, chronic pain, Tourettes syndrome, epilepsy.” End ID]

Mituna Captor headcanons

[ID: “Gender(s): Transneu, nonbinary, alexigender, genderfluid, autigender, tourettesgender, nolsgender, electrodybstimmic, nemuic, gibberishstimmic, stimmyslimic, repeatstimmic, anxicomfic, brainfogtix, autiviamasc, unretentic, customaidartic

Pronouns: He/she/they/it/ix/xe/stim/tic/slime/gib/ze/ahh/buzz/pup/hype/🧠/⚡️/🐝/🍯/🧃/🖍️/⚠️/

Disorders/disabilities: Autism, ADHD, PTSD, brain damage, psychosis, anxiety, Tourettes, schizotypal personality disorder, dependant personality disorder, visual impairment, auditory processing disorder, hearing impairment, panic disorder, amnesia, PICA, vitiligo, chronic fatigue syndrome, chronic pain, dyspraxia, dyslexia, speech impediment, BPD” End ID]

Psiioniic headcanons

[ID: “Gender(s): Transneu, nonbinary, genderqueer, alexigender, genderfluid, autigender, brainfogtix, unretentic, ADHDgender, sadicutesy, cyberfairy

Pronouns: He/they/it/ze/ix/fog

Disorders/disabilities: Autism, ADHD, C-PTSD, brain damage, anxiety, Tourettes, schizotypal personality disorder, visual impairment, auditory processing disorder, hearing impairment, panic disorder, vitiligo, chronic fatigue syndrome, chronic pain, dyspraxia, dyslexia, speech impediment, schizoaffective disorder (bipolar type)” End ID]

Butters Stotch headcanons

[ID: “Gender(s): Nonbinary, genderqueer, transfemme, demigirl, genderfae, bungender, traumabungender, sanriogender, hellokittygender, autigender, luvlexic, bunfrilled, cutefrilled, buncreation, caelesiyn, hémange, cutebodiment, softbodiment, qplovée, hellokittaidic

Pronouns: She/they/he/bun/soft/lu/🌧️/🫧/🪻/🌸/🌈/☀️/🩰/🧼/🎀/🌀

Disorders/disabilities: Autism, C-PTSD, PTSD, night terrors, dissociative amnesia, dependent personality disorder, delusional disorder, complete blindness in his left eye, Alice in Wonderland syndrome” End ID]

OC shit part one (Daeyon Madoth)

[ID: “Gender(s): Transfemme, nonbinary, ghostgender, oddthing, voidlikebeing, saintancient, beauroseic, holylovia, princglassheartic, feminineancient, ghostwife, nunribbon, nunlexic, saintlexic, nunfrilled, ladylexic, ladyfrilled, alderdoll, cannigirl, rubangel, déchudressé, angerobe, dollgirl, ladysewpée, fraisitôme, laceldritchity, lacegirl, divinelace, rosethornic, angellace, crucifingelic, angelimorvid, creepthedric, holycannibal, desideriumic, angelhealic, darlinglexic, victorianghostic, albengeness, BJdollgoth, nunmonsthingic, gurolocuteic, angelmortuic, angelacedollic, coffinrot, omindoll

Pronouns: She/they/it/xe/frill/lace/doll/sai/odd/gho/nun/cross/cru

Disorders/disabilities: Autism, anxiety, PTSD, blindness in right eye, OCD, psychosis, poliosis, vitiligo” End ID]

Mangle headcanons

[ID: “Gender: Genderfluid, genderqueer, nonbinary, apacute, cutechimeric, xenogender, xenogenderfluid, vulpinegender, amourdeathia, luxteneic, girlboyfrilled, girlboything, dencomfic, genderyes, dogchewic, confettigender, pupgender, vocaloidpupgender, bonesoundic, cutegender, kawaiimetalic, gnawstimmic, ♡gender, 🎟️emojic, cutegender, cutecreature, horrostalgic, sorrothing, nytheriune, ribbcuteic, hypergender, ribbonfrilled, pinkshirofoxic, girlboyfreak, fairytypic, radiostar, dulcreepic, sweetvocaloid, cutething, foxtailstimmic, kidbraclic, strawcherric

Pronouns: She/he/they/it/xe/lobe/brain/fun/chew/gnaw/nom/stati/fuzz/bzz/🎟️/🧠

Disabilities/disorders: Autism, ADHD, BPD, psychosis, schizophrenia, partially blind, PTSD, a slight limp” End ID]

Marionette/Charlie Emily headcanons

[ID: “Gender: Puppetboy, puppetgirl, puppetgothic, adjagirl, creepfrilled, boygirlthing, bigender, libramasc, librafemme, autinfection, darkaveil, sorrothing, holdcomfortic, anxionette, phantasiyn, ghostgender, ghostix, mortugender, girlboyfreak, plushcutorgic, musihomeic, mariongirl, marionboy, naturmusic

Pronouns: She/he/it/they/xe/noir/pierr/mari/strings/frill/🃏/♠️/🗝️/🩹/🎼/🎭/🌧️/🌑/🦷/

Disabilities/disorders: Autism, PTSD, panic disorder, anxiety, depression, paranoid personality disorder, schizoid personality disorder, ASPD, BPD” End ID]

Kenny McCormick headcanons

[ID: “Gender(s): Genderfluid, girlboything, princessgender, princessboy, genderfuck, genderpunk, genderqueer, ADHDgender, hypererotigender, transfemme, veriange, scarredangel, genderwinged, wingedthing, etherealbeing, ꒰ঌ☆໒꒱gender

Pronouns: He/she/they/it/xe/ze/angel (but fine with any/all)

Disorders/disabilities: Autism, ADHD, bipolar, C-PTSD, borderline personality disorder, combined generalised and focal photosensitive epilepsy” End ID]

OC shit part two (Faenez Cybive)

[ID: “Gender(s): Girlflux, transfemmeneu, cybertransfemme, cyberfairy, playniteix, fairysoftware, clickclackboardic, gxrlthing, girlrevived, dreadrhopalic, headphojoyic, miswingic, lowpolygender, high-empathix, neonwinged, doomfated, xenohoardcopeic, genderpatched, girlpatched, whitelilyic, digisquidic, fairysoftware, junkvoidgender, techrobai, techrobaibodiment, venturcitydigic

Pronouns: She/zhe/shx/it/ix/xe/ze/ve/cyb/fae/disc/ice/web/robo/bot/CD/www./net/click/clack/cur/key/digi/vir/virus/⏻/❤️‍🔥/🩵/☣️/🌐/🌀/🎶/🪩/🩻/🧬/⛓️/💎/💿/🛸/🎧/🎼/🧊/🪼/🫐/❄️/🫧/🪽/🦋/👤/🫂/🦷/🫁/⌨️” End ID]

Bobby Worst headcanons

[ID: “Gender(s): Nonbinary, genderqueer, genderfuck, genderpunk, xenogender, evilgender, malulovegender, antagogender, villainaesic, villaithing, chaoticevilgender, villaingender, evilhoard, oddthing, lovefreak, bloodcovic, bombatomic, toxicgasic, ☣️emojic, 🛢️emojic, ⛓️emojic, 🧪emojic, ❤️‍🔥emojic, 🦝🗑️emojic, peacockmasc, sairuine

Pronouns: He/it/she/fuck/evil/vile/thorn/chaos/tox/bomb/freak/blood/devil/☣️/❤️‍🔥/🗑️/🛒/🧪/🦠/🩻/🚬/💣/⛓️/🛢️/🫙/💥/🔥/☄️/🪲/🪰/🪳/��/🫀/🦷/🫁/🎸

Disorders/disabilities: Autism, ADHD, anxiety, C-PTSD, histrionic personality disorder, BPD” End ID]

[vamqyr3]

↳ SIMON “GHOST” RILEY // 2013. ᴥ

EP 1 .

CW// Yelling, idk it’s angst what do you want, aftermath of Simon dying and leaving you with a kid.

You pour two parts pasta, one part cheese, lined to the backing on the box. Shifting his little feet to lay along the leg wide holes cut through his high chair. “Luke give it a minute, honey.” He’s a thoughtless toddler, without a response. Bits of cereal to fling around on sticky floors, honeyed watermelon and carrot paste. He had been restless since 7 months. Peopled have stopped Inviting you to things, piled next to your water bill and oily napkin bunch. The large of you knew he didn’t deserve the butt end of it. Your nature is casted into stone. From loved, thought of and care for to distant and diseased. Hugged from time to time, yet no one’s trying to lay with crazy.

His father was a dead beat, not his fault. Not yours. His, the fathers, Simons, his fault. It was hardly and appropriate breakfast, now matted to the front of his cotton shark print top.

He’s zipped into the back car seat. You hope to see the day he’s attached to the booster, then left without one. Sad to see it from the front cushions, driving, give or take a new decade.

His school isn’t far it’s the drive that’s hard. One hand to his aid one to the front. Remembering which way to turn, if he was still breathing, did you buckle the left strap? How fast are you going?

The plastic of his fist sized shoes squeak under his foot. Slides past the front gate, squishy playground and over to where you could not see. You’re off today unfortunately. Meant to report to base and check up with whoever from 141 was left with the shortest stick. It was patronizing, the jut of the gas pedal and the stop for ID. You were no child meant for coddling, you just so happen to have a child, one of Simon’s.

”Doing any better?” The walk here made you sick, the air had a smell of dust and rubbing alcohol. Price’s hat made you sick, the pins on his desk slipped down your throat and jabbed you stomach. “How’s Luke?”

“Fine,”

“You should let me n’ Gaz take him out, yeah?”

“Oh then what after that Price?” “Listen,”

“Take my son out for a drink? Show him a few tricks in your big ass truck? Price? I want you to show my child how to load a gun, captain. You know what why don’t you just carry him off to the front lines while you’re at it?” He just sort of stands there, takes in a breath like he’s going to speak and readjusts.

“It’s my day off you know I don’t have to be here,”

“Yes you do,”

“On whose orders?” “Mine,”

“Right, Right the same ones that got Simon killed, it’s all clicking sorry,”

There’s a sort of prickle to those words, it tickles his face and makes wrinkles. “You knew damn well what you were gettin into,”

“Oh my god, how many times are you going to send for me just for us to have this same argument? I hate it, I hate it here. Theres that same goddamn picture that’s been up since our first date. And the fucking Gym still has the same equipment. How many times am I going to look at that stupid ass wall of yours and remember the time Simon put a hole in it? Like I can’t, I look at my sons skin and I worry just how long it takes till all of our grief leaves scars on it.”

Price finally lets go of that breath. “Look, the boys are worried,”

You were too, shifting to anchor yourself. No part of this was supposed to leave you gasping at night. To have your son set In a deep driven drudge of speechless resentment. To have him shielded yet still affected. Up asking why he couldn’t show off his dads sporting gear like Hunter could. Luke has no father, he never did. And that wasn’t your fault or his.

“I have to pick my son up,”

FIN. // EP 2. // MASTERLIST.

@bootboob @yippeerrrs @ghostsfavhoe

@the-faceless-bride @konigsblog @russadler

ect… I couldnt find all of them.. send in an ask for tag list

[dammarchy211]

Dex mind concepts! And misc

To start, I’m just going in the order I drew them in lol, some structural things! The main base for the level is a burning house, representing both “burning bridges” to show leaving his old life and home before, there being a lot more to loose by running away and becoming a villain, as well as a “fire burning him from the inside”. The platforming bits would be mostly in the large rooms, and would be populated with a looooot of doubts and!

Nightmares! The premise of this mind would be, since psi-portals don’t work on children, Raz would astral-sleepwalking to Dex’s mind instead! And even though it’s his actual mind and not a dream, it seemed like a good place to add nightmares! And I think they really fit with the ambiance

Next is the monsters! Vaguely mentioned in the first one, I wanted to include some non-standard enemies, more like in psychonauts 1. I need to color some of these in, but I wanted them to look like those’ smiley creepy children’s book/cartoon villains! As I mentioned in post about Raz’s family, a big part of him turning away from his family and the psychonauts in general, was their treatment of him as if her was a “little monster” (oddly not rlly for his psychics, but the behavior issues his family imposed on him). One part of that was getting “timeouts” in a closet. However, it happened to be full of old psychic tales comics, sparking his interest in villains to begin with!

Annddd! In the connecting hallways, there are 4 doors that raz needs to get through rooms and hallways. Raz would actually start the mind level in door 3, it’s set up as if that’s be the entire level! I wrote this in my notes so!

(Wouldn’t let me paste this for some reason?)

After Door three Raz would go to the first door. It represents his parents (and sister), put on like a humiliating theatre show. It’s incredibly based around magic shows, playing cards, and circuses. I don’t have much for the mechanics, there might be manifestations of his parents n sister n stuff in there too, but idk. Maybe like a funny monster lookin version of them!

Door 2 is based around his grandpa, the psychonauts, and the motherlobe (and whispering rock kinda!) it’s mostly just showing a lot of the stuff Raz loves and adores (minus the grandpa bit, I’m sure Raz knows who he is, but I know rrlllyy think he’s the type Raz would be any more than a casual fan of lol) from the perspective of someone who just Loathes those things! It’s really supposed to put into perspective it really Why Dex hates those things, and how the people your around and experiences can make a good thing seem terrible. Idk if I’d want Dex to show up here, and leave so Raz has to chase him, or if Raz would just fine him in a later part of the level. Probably the latter but even then idk if I’d want him to show up in Door 1 or 2.

DOOR FOUR DOOR FOUR RAZ DOOR. This one is rlly new!! So Id want it do have this kind of “under construction” vibe. This one would be Heavily heavily inspired by comics, like the whole thing looks like a comic set up. I mean, Dex is starting to be a Real Actual Villain! He’s even got his own nemesis! i.e. this door! But! I’m not really sure what I’d exactly want the area to look like specifically. This is where Raz would For Real meet up with Dex, maybe try to talk with him. A lot of Angry yelling and such, mostly from Dex. Just a Real Nice conversation between two people with just so wildly different perspectives on the same thing, despite being so similar in their core behavior. They would eventually come upon a temporary truce, given that the psychonauts came across evidence of the head of CRIME planning on throwing the agents under the bus.

And HERES THE MISC STUFF!!!!

[lilylamps]

seapunk headcanons with long winded unnecessary explanations!!!

whwtegeahsh sorry if this is incoherent!!! (as always!!) i just like talking a lot!!!!! will be making a part two!!! cuz im,,,

crazy

-mayumi is a picky eater (like extremely picky)(AND THE INLY READON IS BECAUSE I AM AND IM PROJECTING)

- AND HOBIE IS NOT he is a firm believer in not wasting food because i’m like 98% sure he used to be homeless??? so i think he has a fear of not having enough food or starving or something idfk,,,!!,

- anyways he eats her unwanted food because she’s always like heyghehehUGHHHHHH 🙁🙁 when eating food she don’t like cuz texture and taste and UGH

- basically the olive theory

- he also eats her bread crusts cuz she doesn’t like bread crusts cuz she thinks they’re disgusting and inferior /hj?!?!!?!,,,

- he has this small habit of being protective over her BUT NOT IN LIKE AN ARGHHH ALPHA MALE 🐺🐺🐺‼️‼️TYPE OF WAY

- she’s just like kinda,,, clumsy

- so he does this thing where he’s helping her not like do anything stupid w/o her noticing

- like for example they’re standing near a railing watching stars she gets rlly excited cuz she sees a shooting star and leaning over the railing a bit to much for his liking, so he just like safely hovers his hand subtly over her back incase she falls

- or if she’s about to bump into something he gently moves her out the way or she’s abt to trip and he pulls her back by her collar softly because cuz she has no thoughts behind her eyes and is equivalent to a baby with no consciousness (JOKING but not rlly tbh she’s just fucking,,, stupid???? she’s very unaware even w her spider sense bru her spider sense is like the only reason she hasn’t been hit by an on coming car)

^^ them probably btw it’s so funny i love them

- hobie who loves aggressively and softly simultaneously????

- it’s versus the most wettest sloppiest biggest kisses and cuteness aggression about mc vs speaking to her gently and giving her the most whipped and gentle love struck look known to man kind whenever she’s not looking and little smooches

- they’re both equally as clingy,,, heueuegg but she gets embarrassed abt PDA cuz she’s,,, shyyeyeye,,,, so she tries to holding back???,?, but he does NOT cuz he has no decorum and doesn’t give a FUCK

- he rlly loves her cheeks thighs and tummy hehehrhryry (AGAIN NOT IN A WEIRD WAYYSYSY UGH)

- he just

- really likes how soft they are

- they’re so chubby he loves them!!

- they’re like pillows,,, ehehueue like wheneber he gets a chance to lay on her tummy or thighs he just SHNOREEEEEE MIIMIMIMIMIMIMI

- she is emotionally sensitive and fragile and hell???????????? BUT BUT BUT she has a weirdly high pain tolerance (might me a spidey thing idk yet)

- like she gets stab from a villain and she’s like ????? ow???? (NOT ACTUALLY it still hurts but she not like,, bawling from it,,, she’s more like why would u do that 🙁)

- but as soon as someone yells at her in a negative way she’s just

- 🙁

- ☹️

- 😔

- she is really emotionally unstable though cuz she??? doesn’t know how to deal w bad feelings???? SHE OVER THINKS A LOT

- yk the stupid fucking things cats do to get their owners attention by head butting them

-that’s her

-but real gentle

- just head buttin his arm or back or chest for attention

- also she’s kinda bad at like asking for things

- so she just communicates with really sad frowns and pouting and whining and heyehrhrhrhrhehhehe

- and he makes her use her words AGGRGRHRH IM NOT GONNA TYPE IT OUT CUZ ID FEEL CRING BUT YK WHAT IM TALKINV ABOUTTTT 👹👹

- this man is so fucking whipped for her

- and she is TOOOO

- this little shit (mayumi) CANNOT sleep w/o him because we all know her sleep schedule is shit and is fucked and is bad bad bad bad and she can only sleep w him or some kind of remnant of him

- BY REMNANT i mean like something that at least fuckin uhhrhr smells like him or something

- like she steals his band tees, vests, jackets, etc to sleep w or use as a pillow case cuz everything abt him is a sleeping aid for her

- and then he has to do like a shake down every two weeks because he’s somehow missing all his clothes!!! and so she has to surrender a whole closet of his clothes!!!!! (which i think she’d do anyways to like, rejuvenate the smell?? IDK YK WHAT IM SAYING) but summary she’s a little sneaky sneakster that steals his clotheshshd

-and i WOULD like to think she has a diy hobie build a bear of him,,, cuz im, crineg and i think stuffiesdj dedicated to s/o’s are cute 😖 like ik this bitch would buy fabric for this build a bear a make its own vest boots etc etc for it

- she also hides it religiously cuz she knows she will get flamed by him

- think i made a doodble of this a couple days ago but ummmnndhdb she likes singing him to sleep and he likes it too cuz he thinks he voice is nice and soft compared to the music he normalieyy listens too ifs just veryyr soft spoken

-def sings him to sleep if he has like spiderman nightmares and like kisses his tears away (if buddy even has any idk 🦅)

- it’s definitely the same other way around like he’d play her songs she likes on his old ass guitar (mayb his like, first one) and just comfort her or smthing

- ALOSO I SAW THIS THING AND IT WAS LIKE “you remind him of his first guitar” AND I WAS FREAKING OUR ABOUT IT BECAUSE SHE REALY IS LIKE HIS FIRSF GUITARF DUDE I RLLT CANT ELABORATE BUT BASICALLY SHE GIVES HIM THE SAME FEELINGS HIS FIRST GUITAR DID BECAUSE IT MADE HIM FEEL SAFE AND SECURE AND HE WAS ABLE TO EXPRESS HIMSELF FOR THE FIRST TIME W IT OR WHATEVER SHUTNUP

- ummm, their sleeping arrangement sucks balls

- CUZ ONE HOBIE IS STUPID AND BRITISH AND A FOOL so he cannotjr handle the hot when he’s sleeping ESPECIALLY IN HER UNIVERSE SHE ITS ALWAYS SWEATY AND HUMID (it’s literally just the philippines)

- NUMBER TWO SHE CANT SLEEP IF ITS COLD ESPECIALLY IN HIS UNIVERSE SHE NEEDS IT TO BE WARM AND ALWAYS HAS LIKE SEVEN LAYERS OF BLANKETS ON HER

-so one always wakes up frigid cold and shaking or the other wakes up at 3 am with a dry mouth in a hot sweat

- but they tend to take naps/sleeps(?) in hobies universe cuz for hobie it’s genuinely hell for him on her earth he’s burning he’s screaming he is NOT ballin

um!!! anyways!!!

lub u guys ☺️

[brooklyncore]

04-24-23 01

I forgot I was going to move my journaling here. I really SHOULD be journaling rn, im going through one of the hardest times i have in quiteee a while. idk. That said, i actually am here to make a positive journal entry.

i wanted to reflect on myself as a person and do some positive affirmations.

I wanna define myself or at least how i see myself, and how id like others to see me.. I am a guy with a passion for creation, especially in terms of art and animation. But I love to create. I’m deeply passionate about even making silly things, I like throwing my heart into every little thing. I am a passionate person in general. I love very loudly and very hard, and I like to express that. I was once a toxic person, but i’ve grown and changed and I am such a lover now. I love my friends so deeply, i love my partner, i love so much. I like to express that loudly. It’s important to me to tell people about my love- for them, for the things i do, for the things i like. I’m VERY vocal about my passions and love. I think that I’m still self conscious about it, and maybe I always will be, but it’s important to me. I worry that like, being too forward about my affections and my passions I might come off as annoying or cheesy or god forbid someone sees me as feminine or girly over it (toxic masculinity worries, which im still outgrowing).  I don’t think that the people I care about will view me any of those ways, but there will always be worry. But, it’s important for me to show my love while and where i can. I’ve lost a lot of people during my throes of toxic masculinity and coldness that I never got to truly tell them the depth they meant to me. I was too busy wanting to be cold and aloof and ‘masculine’, unfeeling. But I loved those people so, so deeply. And they might never know. I hope they knew, even if I didn’t say it. I hope, in their hearts, they knew the depth of my adoration for them. I hope they felt it. But, I never said it- so maybe they didn’t. That’s why I’ve become such a lover, lots of people will go through life without screaming out the love they have and drop it in moderation- but not me. I never want to be moderate with the way I love. I want to love loudly, and I want to love brightly. Even if i’ve told you 100 times in the past hour, what would once more hurt? I love you. I love you, so deeply. And I want you to never forget that, even if we’re fighting-  if we’re hitting each other into the walls and yelling, I want you to know without a single ounce of doubt how truly i love you.  This isn’t about anyone in particular. I use ‘you’ , generally. I love my friends like this, i love my partner like this. I want them to never, ever ever be able to doubt how much they mean to me. I have so much passion in my body it’s stupid. I’m stupid. But even if i’m stupid, I will never be stupid enough to let someone feel unloved for a moment by me.

[fuck-customers]

A customer came in today to find out if he had insurance on his phone, which he did. So I did my usual routine on explaining how to make the claim and go about fixing the phone or replacing it. He tried to do it in the store, which normally isn’t a problem as long as he’s not holding up the line or anything and then he started smashing his fingers on the screen because it was too cracked to register what he pressed.

He asked me if there was any other way to make the claim and I told him the only way was online because the insurance was a third party company. He started making excuses on why he couldn’t like “i dont have a computer or anything else” or “my phone isnt working look” and then continued to forcefully press on the screen. So he asked to use one of our computers, which I politely said no and explained “We aren’t allowed to let customers use our computers, for security reasons.”

He got pissed and starting calling it bullshit and said “any other manager would let me use a tablet to do it, youre just lazy” and I repeated myself and even said that if someone were to do that then theyd be breaking company policy because thats literally a breach of security since all our tablets and computers are programmed with the system we use to access all customer accounts.

I’m really a “fuck corporate” kind of person and ill break a rule here and there but this guy was being a dick and we have cameras all over the store so I stood my ground and kept denying him.

He got so mad that he asked to speak to the manager and my manager wasnt in so then he asked for his phone number and I told him Im also not allowed to give out personal information like that. Then he asked for my name and since I didn’t do anything wrong I refused and he got pissed and spout all this bullshit about how Im legally obligated to give him my name because hes a paying a customer. Like for one, he didnt buy anything, hes not a paying customer at the store. And two, im definitely not legally obligated to give out my personal information to angry customers because they didnt get what they wanted.

Anyways, he started yelling at me about how im lazy, unprofessional and useless. At this point I was getting irritated so I responded with “Im sorry thats your opinion” I guess that was kinda sassy but i mean?? He was being a piece of shit. Its literally also not in my job description or title to make insurance claims, repair phones, set up phones, or apply screen protectors. So i definitely wasnt refusing him service. I did what he asked, which was to access his account and see if he had insurance on his phone.

He yelled all the way to the door and before fully walking out he turned around and said “and you’re ugly too” I dont care about a random dudes opinion about my looks but I was literally wearing a mask, theres literally no way he could know what i looked like?? I saw his ID too so I KNOW hes got no right talking shit like that.

After clocking out, my coworker called me to say that the customer called the store to tell him that he placed a complaint with corporate and that theyd set a meeting to go more into depth about the incident, which isnt really an incident because the only thing that happened was he threw a tantrum. Whats funny is i dont work for the corporate that he called. I work for a third party company that The Phone Company hired to open Authorized Retail stores. So theres really nothing TT&A can do

I don’t know what exactly corporate needs to write me up or fire me but im 100% sure what he told them was a lie because I acted completely professional and calm. I dont even know if theyd have my back, can I sue them for wrongful termination if they do end up firing me over this guys lies?

Its such bullshit to me that he went as far as to try to get me fired, literally in a pandemic all because of an insurance claim.

Which also!! If his phone worked well enough to call and complain, couldnt he have just, idk, made the fucking claim?!?!

I swear some people have nothing better to do than to yell at 20 something year old min. wage workers.

Get a life, man

[cleverhyuck]

request :: can i request for number 11 , 14 , 23 , 27 , and 28 for jaemin? 🥺

“try and stay quiet”

“you know what happens when you break the rules right”

“this is all your fault”

“did you do this while i was gone?”

“behave”

—

warnings : public ( movie theatre ) + bed sex , exhibition kink , degrading , spanking , fingering , oral (receiving) , daddy/sir kink , overstimulation , jaem dom mmm

wc : kinda long idk man

—

“hmmm the tarot cards are saying that you need to fuck me jaem” you told him, showing him the card “sun”

“did it say anything about you being a brat?” he asked, taking the deck and finding the three of swords. “because this is exactly how i feel” he said, waving the card in your face. “jaeminnn you’re so meann~” you exaggerated, taking the card back from him and shuffling the deck again.

“now, what question would you like to ask?” you said, still shuffling.

“will you go on a date with me later?”

puzzled, you shuffled and pulled a card from the deck. you showed him the card, the lovers

“yes.”

of course the date wasn’t right then and there, you both had things to do. but while at home waiting for him, you couldn’t help but miss him even though he’d only been gone a few hours and would be back soon.

sliding your hand down your pants you fingered yourself, imagining it was him doing it. the smirk on jaemins face that always drove you crazy.

picking up the pace, you let out light whines and moans, grinding on your fingers. “jaemin jaemin jaemin” you repeated, getting closer. knowing him, he would edge you on and on, addicted to your moans.

this time, you were pleasuring yourself without him. closing your eyes, you whined one last jaemin, and moaned loudly, climaxing.

your wetness was all over your fingers and thighs, the feeling made you rub your legs together as you caught your breath.

“did you do this while i was gone ?” jaemin asked, leaning against the door to your room. “jaemin, i’m- this is- this isn’t what it looks like” you fumbled. quickly taking your hand out of your pants. “you know what happens when you break the rules, right?”

he walks toward your bed and sits. “lick them.” he says. you put the two fingers in your mouth and suck on them. as you take your fingers out, still eyeing jaemin, he moves closer to you.

“kiss me.”

you move forward and kiss him, lips and tongues tasting each other, you hold onto the back of his head while he moves your waist onto his thigh. this make out lasts a little bit before he pulls away, both of you look all messed up but it’s cute.

there’s a small string of saliva connecting your two lips before he kisses you once more. trailing down your lips, he kisses your jaw and neck. you move (obviously) and give him more room to leave lovebites on you.

“we- mmh- have,, a- mmh, movie,, to.. watch-mmh” he says peppering kisses all over your neck. satisfied, he looks at you and smiles. “let’s get dressed.”

you are glad he doesn’t give you a punishment right then and there so you find the need to tease him, so you dress pretty provocatively. the tight black crop top, and the plaid skirt a tad shorter than he would like. your thigh high socks giving very “student that wants to be fucked” energy.

you smile in the mirror while he only glares at you. “behave, babygirl.” you turn to him and give him a spin, flashing the lace bottoms you were wearing. “no” is all jaemin says before handing you one of his jackets.”

“we are here to watch a movie babe, not look like a college student who fucks her professor.” you take the jacket and wear it. “whatever daddy. maybe you shouldn’t think like a pervert. i look perfectly normal, and good too might i add.” you say giving him sass.

he grabs you by the jacket collar, pulling you back. leaning into his back, he smacks your ass. a few times actually. you yelp out, feeling your legs shake a bit. “you better watch it missy.” he says before straightening out your (his) jacket.

“now let’s go.”

and the movie is okay. at first.

who knew even when your boyfriend was yelling at you to not dress like a slut he was the one with a hand on your thigh a bit higher than usual.

“try and stay quiet” is all he whispers in your ear before dropping down. his face is right in front of your legs, and he prys them open. your wetness was definitely soaking through the thin langerie.

you look down at him and see how hot he looks even in the bleak light. you are so happy sitting in the backseat you don’t even notice he takes the panties off. your core clenches around nothing, and you start to feel nervous.

“this isn’t a good ide-“ he takes a lick up your slit. you shudder at the feeling of his tongue. “jae-jaem” you stutter, his tongue feeling so good on you. “that’s not my name.” he says before eating you out.

you grind on him, hips moving off the seat. it’s hard trying to keep quiet but good that you’re watching a horror movie. the screams and jump scares seem like the perfect time to let out a whine.

he mumbles here and there, calling you a slut and how you taste so good, how this was your punishment, how you were being and acting like a brat, and that causes a tingle in you.

feeling close, you try and shut your legs together. he humphs and uses both hands to spread your legs apart. you soon cum on him and gasp out. “s-sir please..” you whisper.

he looks at you with a smirk. then goes back down on you. you hands instantly grab onto his hair and tug. he hissed at the feeling but continues. the overstimulation makes you cum again, even faster than earlier.

“sir- daddy! da-daddy! i cant take it” you squeal out. “oh you can darling.” he says looking up at you.

“and you will.”

he plunges two fingers into you and your back arches almost off the seat. the feeling makes you close your eyes and roll your head back. the pain is so incredible you don’t care how many times you cum.

you cum once more before he licks you off of his fingers. you look at him, cum down his chin, hair all messed up from your pulling, the perfect boyfriend look.

he sits back in his seat, and you feel odd. the movie soon ends and you realize why. “jaemin my underwear” you say while standing up. you freeze when you feel some of your wetness smear down your thigh. fuck is all you can think.

you tie the jacket around your waist, covering your front. he smiles and points to the little bulge in his pocket. as you whine for him to give them back, he back hugs you.

his boner is inevitable and you just sigh. “seriously jaem? you are one horny asshole.”

“this is all your fault”

[salted-caramel-tea]

anyway here’s DSMP streamers based on how they’d fair with me in a fight

Details as for why I decided on these ranks under readmore

link to tiermaker

Would beat the shit out of them

Tommy- what’s his lanky ass gonna do?? Stop me???

George- ‘oh but salty, he’s a recovering hypebeast!! He’s not the uwu baby everyone thinks he is’ I know and I am perfectly aware, but he’s not alpha enough to defend himself against these hands. Sure he’s a 🤪crackhead 🤪 but what’s that gonna do against me. He would simply raise his arms as a shield and say ‘ow :(‘ until he surrenders.

Jack manifold- he has it coming.

It’d be close but id win

Fundy- he’s lanky, but he has height on me. I could beat the shut out of his shins but he could definitely push me over and I simply would not get back up. id kick his legs.

Quackity- I almost put him in the first category. Almost. But I feel like he’d get a random spurt of energy and almost take me down

Hbomb- I just feel like I could take his ass down. He’d injure me for sure, but I could do it.

Antfrost- it’s not homophobic if I’m also part of the el gee bee tea community. I’m scared that red would beat me up but not that scared

Tubbo- the kids unhinged. He’d be pulling these weird ass attacks yelling about some random shit I don’t understand and eventually tire himself out so that I can take him down easily

Karl- I feel like he has good defences. But his shins are unprotected.

Fair fight

Dream- He has height on me so he could theoretically beat the everloving shit out of me but his feet are fucking massive (clown) and that’s what I target

Techno- the only thing stopping me from winning is his height, this man spends all his time farming potatoes I could clart him if he wasn’t a giant

Puffy- we are the same height.

Hannah- we have too much respect for the others eyeliner to do any real damage

It’d be close but they’d win

Sapnap- he’s polite. He’s a sweet little Texas man. But I do also believe him when he said he’d rock chats shit with the meanest uppercut if they ever tried to fight him. He’s been through a lot with chat. I believe him.

Connor- I was going to say I could beat him up, but looking that little face in the eyes made me feel something akin to fear. I don’t think he has the ability to absolutely beat the shit out of me. But he could win.

Ranboo- this kid moves like a cartoon character. 90% of the fight is just him bouncing around me not actually making any hits. I attack the shins (again). He utilises his gargantuan height and picks me up rendering me useless. I have lost the fight.

Charlie- unassuming, but ripped.

Alyssa- she’d be easy on me, get bored and then clart me. I believe in her

Would absolutely clart me

Wilbur- I’ve seen the vlogs. Man would not hesitate to tackle me just like he did Tommy. I have been murdered by Wilbur Soot.

Bad- can and will cut me, carries a gun on him at all times.

Skeppy- he’d just straight up beat the shit out of me idk what to tell u

Purpled- see above

Punz- Chad.

Philza- threatened to punt jack manifold into the sun. I believe him.

Could batter me but simply wouldn’t

Niki- this girl can be scary I’ve seen her talk to her chat about the way men treat her pop off queen you could absolutely batter anyone but only would hurt the people who wrong her and I would never do that to her

Sam- golden retriever, sweetheart. So sweet and wonderful. Could punt me if he wanted to but he’s too nice for that

Foolish- himbo: beefy, dumb and kind.

Eret- 6’3 +7 inch platforms, dangerous but it’s not practical it’s ✨ fashion ✨

Ponk- I wholeheartedly believe ponk could clart me but would absolutely hesitate because she’s very sweet and I love them hashtag lemon society

Simply would not fight in the first place

Callahan.

[f1nalboys]

this is my ‘the collector’ live post i’m gonna edit it as i go and post it once i’m done so i don’t bombard y’all

-the mfs in the beginning deserve to die bc who walks around in their pitch black house 🙄

-ew these opening credits….. maybe i just don’t like the music choice but i’m like 😡

-ok so arkin knows the family i guess? idk

-he’s so sexy i want him so bad y’all…… i would FUCK him so god damn hard y’all wouldn’t believe it

-jill shut the actual fuck up PLEASE

-arkin why don’t you come in my box 😝😝 if u get what i’m saying babe

-his wife is kinda sexy hehe

-milf and dilf powercouple

-arkinnnnnn ur a little thief but ur sexy so it’s fine

-the collecter walks like a fruit i know that bc i walk the same

-waiting for the sexy sexy scene of arkin when he gets his face grabbed by asa and he looks breedable

-damnnnn he’s fucking michael up 😭 asa ur a lil monster fr

-15-24-7 everyone remember that ok

-most fucked uo thing asas done so far is breathe in that lady’s face bc i just know his breath is rank as fuck

-not arkin searching through all of the drawers like mf he SAID the bottom one. ur wasting time

-ngl to yall id get the rock and just fuck off there’s no way i’d even try to help these folks 😐 does that make me evil….it’s just like,,,, i can’t help! at all! i’d try but id lowkey just look for a way out 😭 i’d die regardless i guess

-ok maybe id try to help instead of just leaving but idk 🙄

-NOOO THE POIR CAT STUCK IN THE ACID????? WHAT THE FUCK THIS MANS EVIL

-this yalls man fr 🤔

-NOO THE CAT GOT SLICED IN FUCKING HALF I HATE IT HERE

-arkin yelling at the lady while she’s getting tortured LMFAO

-jill avoiding all the traps cuz she’s horny JFJSJDJ

-EW THE WAY HE LIVKED HIS LIPS WATCHING JILL GET FUCKED?,, FREAKAZOID

-there’s sm nipple in this movie

-asa is such a weird little freak LMAO

-THE BEAR TRAPS??? what is wrong w him omg

-arkin just leave babe y’all could not fucking catch me here any longer than that lol

-arkin is too good i don’t give a fuck abt that little girl tbh

-not them electrocuting the wrong guy

-also how tf is asa unable to locate or kill the little girl??? mf how many people have u tortured and kidnapped at this point???????

-RUN ARKIN RUNNNNN

-HES RLLY USING TGE MFS HEAD AS A BATTERING RAM

-r these noises fucking asa screaming??

-HERES TGE SEXY SCENE IF BREEDABLE ARKIN LETS GOOOOOO

-personally i think asa has too much time in hands like how long do y’all think it took to set up all those traps??? my man needs a hobby i think

-he only takes one fr

-sorry it happened to be u sexy arkin lover babe

-IS HE PURRING

-asa furry confirmed????

-i think there r nicer ways to wake him up rather than cutting his forehead asa

-no ass on him that’s why he’s a serial killer

-is he digging out his teeth w the chisel???

-i like the effects on asas eyes

-the way arkin had to be homophobic to get asa to come back and beat him up sir that’s the por calling the kettle black ain’t it

-i mean if asa rlly wanted to fuck him up he could’ve just killed the girl

-or try to get bugs to eat through his stomach, that works to i guess

-asas evil little dogs damn

-arkin let me fix u up babe plssss i’ll take care of u hehehe

-the random noises they put over asa is so weird like what is he doing

-is the dog gotta eat this little girl 😭

-arkin hurry up bitch let’s GO

-this is why i’m a cat person

-HE LIT THE DOG ON FIRE 😧

-the stuffed fake dog was rlly something tho

-isn’t there 2 open windows upstairs? why don’t they go through those???

-HAHAHA he got stabbed by the knife chandelier 😝

-HIS WAILS OF PAIN LFJWJCNWONFKWJDJSJS THATS SO FUNNY

-NOT THE POLICE CAR RUNNING ARKIN OVER COSNCINWIDJE

-wonder what happened to arkin a daughter and gf ex lady

-the added the scream from asa like he’s in the fire or something

-also this little girl has GOT to have extreme ptsd from this

-THE AMBULANCE???? also damn arkin was strapped in tight tryna save the emt

-asa is so extra taking arkin w him like man u could’ve just killed him then and there 🙄

-how tf did he survive the knife thing tho 🤔 if it was anyone else they’d be deadzo…. anyways time to go watch the collection hehe

[absolutepokemontrash]

The undatables as uncles need more love, so... What if L!MC and the rest of the children just go to the castle or purgatory Hall for a few days because the Bros got tired or just need a day of rest. Idk this makes no sense

Yes, more uncle shennaniganery!

A Day at the Demon Lord’s Castle

Masterlist

It was Demon-Flu season, and no demon in the House of Lamentation was spared from its sniffly wrath. It started with Belphegor waking up and sneezing right next to Beel, and it was all downhill from there.

Notice how I said “demon”, the dear little Half-Demons were all fine thanks to the efforts of M!MC who for some reason had bought a bunch of plague doctor masks the week prior.

“Why... why did you buy these?” L!MC asked, their voice muffled by the badly fitting mask.

“I saw em’ in a store window and I decided I wanted them.”

Three out of four of the Brat Brigade (plus the cat) were on their way to the Demon Lord’s castle to stay until the house’s little epidemic passed. Lord Diavolo had oh so graciously asked (begged) to be allowed to host the kids for a while.

What could go wrong?

Many things could go wrong.

For one, the first thing A!MC saw when they first arrived, was a rat. Not one of the gross scary ones, but one of the absolutely adorable ones that turns you into the ‘gently holds’ meme.

“I’m going to call you Templeton!” “*squeak*” “Yay!”

Barbatos of course came to greet the guests, and explained that they have a little... issue with rats at that moment. Butler-dad assured them it wouldn’t be a problem, just if the children saw any of the vermin running around to tell him and he’d dispose of them.

Templeton the rat was promptly hidden in one of A!MC’s pockets.

The Purgatory Hall crew was there as well, apparently Solomon decided to make brunch and Purgatory Hall’s kitchen exploded.

Lord Diavolo finally makes his entrance and declares that everyone should unpack and relax, his gorgeous/terrifying castle was their gorgeous/terrifying castle.

“So,” L!MC rested their head on their hand and rotated the knight in their free hand as they stared half vacantly at the chess board. “Did you take care of the snake in the labyrinth, Dia?”

Diavolo lit up when he heard his seldom used nickname. “Well, Henry 1.0 isn’t exactly bothering anyone down there at the moment, and I don’t think Levi is equipped to deal with a fifty foot long untamed snake.”

L!MC smirked and placed their knight down. “Yeah, at least not right now.”

The moment L!MC removed their hand from the knight, Diavolo moved his bishop and took their queen. Shit.

“Aw man...” L!MC mumbled, after a cursory look at the board, the poor thing realized that they had been screwed for the last five turns and Diavolo was just prolonging the match.

“Don’t feel too bad, L!MC.” Diavolo gave them a pat on the head. “Lucifer can’t beat me in chess either.”

“Hmph.” They wouldn’t admit it but... that did make them feel a little better.

“That reminds me, I have a favour to ask of you.” L!MC almost outwardly drooped at the mention of... ugh... a task. “Do you mind reviewing some dad-jokes with me to make sure they are suitably dad-like?”

“...what?” Quickly remembering they were in the presence of honest to God (poor choice of words... uh... Grandfather?) royalty, L!MC straightened their posture and tried their best to look respectfully curious instead of completely and utterly confused. “Pardon?”

“M!MC and several others have said I have ‘dad vibes’, so I’m leaning into it!” Diavolo smiled so brightly if L!MC hadn’t been the child of the Morning Star they may have been blinded. “My father wasn’t one for jokes, so I’d like to run these by you before I say them to others.”

Suppressing a snort of laughter, L!MC nodded. “Go for it, I’m all ears.”

Diavolo pulled out quite the long list and began to read out loud... L!MC quickly realized that this may take longer than expected. “Okay, to begin: I’m afraid for the calendar, it’s days are numbered.”

“Oh not-that-good-Lord...” L!MC muttered under their breath.

The dad jokes continued, some were funny, some were absolutely awful, some sounded like they were made for children in the Victorian era... overall, it was a good- holy shit that took over two hours...

“Finally,” Diavolo squinted at the last joke. “I went to the liquor store and they asked for my ID, while I fumbled for my wallet, my Blockbuster card fell out, the cashier said ‘nevermind’.”

L!MC furrowed their brows. “What’s a Blockbuster?”

“That was what I was hoping you’d explain to me... is it a dad requirement to get a card for that establishment..?”

“Mmmm...” L!MC pursed their lips. “Probably not. I mean, Lucifer doesn’t have one.”

“That’s true...” Diavolo looked at the clock, then stood up and began to shoo L!MC out the door. “Look at me, taking up all your time that you should be spending with your friends. Thank you for your help, L!MC, now don’t let me keep you any longer!”

Giggling slightly, L!MC shot a wave over their shoulder as they left the room. “Bye dad! See you later!”

They were half way down the hallway when they realized their verbal slip-up.

“Oh.” L!MC’s face burned with embarrassment. “Shit.”

Dad-volo was totally delighted and very cool about it, don’t worry.

M!MC and Bean the cat were hanging out with the angels in the very pretty royal gardens when that mess was going down.

Luke was being absolutely adorable and was snuggling Bean while he and Simeon looked at the pretty plants.

In traditional M!MC fashion, they were engaging in an average game of ‘lightly tease the chihuahua’.

“It’s just... you’re so small.” M!MC took the opportunity to rest their arm on Luke’s head as he stopped to observe a colour changing flower bush. “How many years have you been this height? 100? 200?”

M!MC had taken the news that Luke was older than them in stride, finding new opportunities to make the little angel do his adorable angy face. They were obviously succeeding in their jerkwad-endeavours as Luke pushed their arm off and fixed his now smushed hat.

“You be quiet! I’m perfectly average height for an angel my age.” Luke huffed, petting the cat, who hissed at M!MC. The stupid cat absolutely hated them for some reason, it brought L!MC never ending joy to bring the cat into their shared room and watch it hiss and swipe at them. L!MC should really show some more respect for their older cousin!

“Are angels normally the size of a fifth grader?” M!MC snickered. “Is Simeon considered a freak for his height?”

“No, M!MC, I am not.” Simeon chuckled. “Rest assured, Luke will grow.”

“Yeah! And I’m sure I’ll be taller than you!” Luke added.

M!MC smirked deviously and pinched Luke’s cheek. “Well, I’ll have to take advantage of your smallness and baby face while I still can!”

“Hey! Stop that!” Luke tried to swat their hands away, but M!MC had inherited their father’s reflexes and his penchant for being a little shit every once and a while, so Luke’s swatting only resulted in more pinches.

“Never!” M!MC teased. “Surrender to your smallness!”

“No!”

Luke took off deeper into the garden, surprisingly quickly considering he was holding a cat that was hellbent on clawing M!MC’s eyes out. M!MC laughed and gave chase.

“Luuuuuuuke! Come back! I promise I’ll be nice!” M!MC lied right through their teeth like the little heathen they were, as they ran down the path they noticed that they couldn’t see Luke up ahead anymore, nor could they hear him yelling for Simeon to make them quit their teasing.

“Heheh...” M!MC wheezed as they stopped to catch their breath. “Luke c’mon, don’t be a baby. It’s real immature to hide like that!”

There was no response, which made M!MC just a little nervous, just a smidge. The plants had changed from pretty flowers and gorgeous trees to a much darker clump of vines and twisting branches. It all seemed to be the same plant, M!MC noted as they scanned the area for any sign of Luke and the cat, or Simeon for that matter.

“Luke? Bean? Come on! Haul your asses over here, this isn’t funny any-” M!MC paused and looked down as something coiled around their left leg. “-more?”

The vine tightened and yanked them backwards, M!MC fell right to the ground and clawed at the path to stop them getting pulled into the brush. Another vine wrapped around their right leg, any resistance that digging their nails into the ground was nullified as both vines yanked M!MC into the bushes.

Well, this was a nightmare of epic proportions. The vines continued to wrap around the helpless half demon until they were completely unable to move. As M!MC looked around frantically, they made eye contact with an all too familiar pair of blue eyes. Ah! There was Luke!

“Mmmph!” Only Luke’s eyes were visible, but the eyes are the gateway to the soul or whatever, and M!MC took an educated guess and decided that Luke’s soul wasn’t too happy with them.

“Mmth! Mmth!” M!MC tried to speak, but their mouth was covered by the vines. The two would have to communicate with their eyes only.

‘This is your fault!’

‘How the fuck is this MY fault?’

‘If you hadn’t teased me this never would have happened!’

‘Grow thicker skin, you chihuahua!’

‘Fuck you!’

Listen, Luke probably wasn’t capable of trying to communicate a swear word, but it was incredibly funny for M!MC to think about.

“M!MC? Luke?” Simeon stepped into their limited field of vision. “Where are you two? This plant is carnivorous.”

Oh... lovely. That was good to know.

“Mmemph!”

“MFTH!” Luke and M!MC tried to call out to Simeon, only for the vines to wrap around them even tighter. Wow, what a way to go... strangled by a plant... ugh. L!MC would never let them live that down...

“Hm,” Simeon looked down at the vine that was coiling around his leg. “What a bother.”

Quick as lightning, Simeon grabbed the vine and sent a burst of shining gold magic shooting through it. The magic quickly spread to the rest of the plant and the moment the magic slammed into M!MC they nearly passed out from the searing pain that shot through their entire body.

They clamped their eyes shut and clenched their teeth to stop them from rattling as they felt the massive wave of Celestial magic wash over them. It was weirdly warm, like a hug from a friend, but it wasn’t a pleasant sensation, at least not to M!MC.

The plant let out an otherworldly scream as it threw Luke, Bean, and M!MC back onto the path at Simeon’s feet.

Luke picked Bean back up and dusted off his clothes like he didn’t have a care in the world. M!MC lay on the ground, if you listened closely you could hear them sizzle a bit. Nothing like being nearly strangled by a plant and then roasted by holy ‘fuck you’ magic.

“I’m glad you’re both okay,” Simeon pulled Luke into a hug and helped M!MC off the ground. “Did I ah... use to much magic?”

M!MC half-scowled at their saviour and wiped down their outfit. “Yeah. A little too much.”

“My bad,” Simeon ruffled M!MC’s hair. “I hope this serves as a learning experience for you two, Luke, don’t run off like that, and M!MC,”

The half demon nearly jumped in fear and surprise as Simeon swivelled to look at them. The smile on his face was far from comforting. “Don’t tease poor Luke too much, okay?”

“Uh... uh huh.” M!MC quickly nodded.

“Good! Now let’s head back, I think we’ve all had enough of the Royal Gardens.”

As the group returned, they passed a very red in the face L!MC and wondered what exactly went down in the time they were gone.

It’s common knowledge that Barbatos hates rats, it’s also common knowledge that A!MC is the embodiment of a ray of sunshine.

What does this lead to, you may be asking, well...

A!MC and their dear rat Templeton needed to hide from the politely homicidal Barbatos.

“Sh!” A!MC whispered into their pocket, the rat responded with an indignant squeak.

The Demon Lord’s Castle was absolutely massive, and trying to navigate it without a map was akin to wandering around an ancient pyramid filled with death traps. A!MC and their dear companion were wandering the place without a map and trying to hide from a butler that had the power to see into the future. The two fugitives were at a clear disadvantage.

A!MC had managed to stumble into an area that had paintings and statues completely everywhere, it was then they realized they were completely lost.

While quietly perusing the room, A!MC took notice of quite the lovely portrait of a woman. She had long flowing locks of golden hair and the most gorgeous captivating eyes... A!MC nearly shrieked when the woman’s eyes snapped to their’s and her face contorted into a scowl.

“Do I know you?” The woman asked, A!MC gulped and shook their head.

“N-no ma’am, I don’t think we’ve met...” A!MC mumbled before sticking out their hand for a handshake. The painting woman stared down at their outstretched hand, very unimpressed. “I’m A!MC, it’s nice to meet you.”

The half demon offered their cutest smile, their dad had lovingly taken the time to coach them in the art of being so darn tootin’ adorable that everyone would fall over themselves to get A!MC to like them. The moment the woman registered the smile, her scowl returned for a brief moment, then vanished entirely.

“Oh,” The woman smiled sweetly. “I do think I know you, do you mind coming a bit closer so I can see you better?”

Suffering from a complete inability to detect red flags, A!MC happily moved closer.

“Ah, just as I suspected. You look like Asmodeus.”

“You know my dad?” A!MC asked.

“Yes,” The woman’s eyes narrowed. “I know him quite well.”

A!MC was suddenly knocked off balance as a massive gust of wind shoved them closer to the painting. They frantically clawed at the stone ground as Templeton squeaked and squirmed in their pocket.

“Your father is the reason I’m stuck in this painting,” The woman explained coldly as A!MC tried to scramble away. “He escaped the labyrinth twice, but I don’t plan on letting you escape.”

“I-uh- m-muh-my dad’s probably really sorry about whatever he did! There’s no need to be rash!” A!MC stuttered.

“Yeah, no.” The woman huffed. “He had his chance to fix things. I’m getting even.”

“Not right now you’re not.”

A!MC swivelled their head around to see Barbatos calmly holding out a pair of scissors.

“Now Helene, I’d recommend releasing the child before I’m forced to take drastic measures.” Barbatos clicked the scissors together twice, and Helene paled. The wind pushing A!MC towards the painting dissipated and the half demon ran and hid behind the butler.

“Th-thank you...” A!MC mumbled.

“It’s not a problem, A!MC. Now I believe it would be a wise choice to move to another room.”

The two, (plus the hidden rat) ended up in the kitchen. A!MC shifted nervously as Barbatos began prepping lunch.

“Is there something you need to tell me?” Barbatos asked suddenly, A!MC straightened their posture and nodded.

“I um... promise you won’t be mad...” A!MC mumbled.

“I can assure you, I won’t be too upset.”

“I made a friend.” A!MC took Templeton out of their pocket and held him closely to their chest, Barbatos’s calm smile froze on his face. “He’s really sweet, please don’t kill him!”

“...A!MC.” Barbatos began slowly. “I’m not mad... just make sure it doesn’t escape and run rampant... now... please get it out of my kitchen.”

“Yes sir! Thank you sir!” A!MC turned and sprinted to their room.

Ugh... Barbatos, haven’t you ever watched Ratatouille? The rat can cook dammit!

When Luke went in to bake with his second dad he was very confused as to why Barbatos looked like he was having war flashbacks.

Huh... weird right? Anyway...

Good ol’ weird uncle Solomon suggested that after dinner everyone should get together and watch a movie.

L!MC and Solomon suggested that they watch The Conjuring and that idea got immediately shot down.

M!MC brought up that the most “family get-together” movie they could think of was Star Wars.

So they watched A New Hope.

“We could be watching the Conjuring right now.” L!MC murmured as they watched Luke Skywalker fumble his way to Obi Wan Kenobi.

“Yeah.” Solomon whispered back. “You know, I met Ed and Lorraine Warren.”

“Cool,” L!MC smiled. “My ren took me to their house once, when I went in to see all the haunted objects all the demons inside wanted to hang out with me.”

“Huh,” Solomon snickered. “Did they think you were Lucifer?”

“Yep. It was funny, Annabelle’s a pretty big asshole though.”

“I’d be an asshole too if I were stuck in a raggedy Anne doll since the 60s and not allowed to leave.”

“Both of you sh!” M!MC hissed, they threw some popcorn over their shoulder, which L!MC threw right back.

A while into the movie, M!MC elbowed Solomon and pointed at one of the aliens. “That’s you.”

“I’m so hurt…” Solomon pouted.

“And that’s you.” L!MC pointed at a stormtrooper that had just gotten shot with a blaster. M!MC scoffed and rolled their eyes.

“I’m not some dumb stormtrooper.”

“Yeah, you’re a little short for a stormtrooper.”

“HEY!”

“SHHHHHHH!” A!MC and Luke turned and started throwing their own popcorn…

The mess that they all had to vacuum after the movie was much more terrifying than The Conjuring ever could have been.

So, after a few days, Lucifer called to say that everyone was back to normal and the last remnants of the Demon-Flu were gone.

Yay! The kids could go back to their really overcrowded house!

The goodbyes were something to behold.

“Goodbye everyone! Come back sometime soon!” Diavolo waved from the doorway.

“Bye, Lord Diavolo!” L!MC smiled brightly and returned the wave. M!MC snickered and nudged them.

“That’s a pretty cold way to say goodbye to your dad-”

“Shut up…” L!MC growled.

“L!MC, what are they talking about?” Lucifer asked.

“Nothing!”

M!MC looked like they were weighing the pros and cons of surviving the conversation, then shrugged.

“M!MC, no, you have so much to live for!” A!MC pleaded.

“L!MC called Lord Diavolo dad!”

Mammon erupted into hysterical laughter while Asmo giggled and half heartedly patted L!MC on the head. Lucifer was not impressed.

“You know,” L!MC sighed. “I’m moving out. Lord Diavolo can I come live here?”

“L!MC, come back.” Lucifer trailed after his very embarrassed spawn.

A!MC pulled on their dad’s sleeve and cleared their throat.

“Yes sweetie?”

“D-dad, do you have a vehement hatred and or fear of rats?”

“Um-”

“Meet Templeton, he’s adorable and my friend.”

————————

Author’s note, The next part of the main series is coming next week… or this week… idk how long things take.

(Probably this week)

[pixy-stix-art]

2 for the prompt thing? idk if we're allowed to add to it but if we are id love if it was dteam

Ok so I really wasn’t expecting to get something from that so this might be a little short. But I really wanted to do it.

Prompt- “Stop running away!” “And why should I not?”

(Oh my god I completely forgot to post this sorry)

———————————————————————

George and Sapnap chased after Dream. They human had said he could run away from the giants and not be caught by till the end of the day. Of course Sapnap and George took him up on the offer thinking Dream might last an hour if they went easy on him. It had not been easy. They where hours in and the giants hadn’t come close to catching Dream.

“Stop running away!” Sapnap complained as he tried to grab Dream.

“And why should I not?” Dream said with a loud laugh getting away once again.

“I think we need to step up our game.” George said glaring at Dream.

“Yeah, he’s faster then I thought.” Sapnap agreed. They paused the chase to make a game plan.

Dream grinned as he once again dived out of the way of Sapnap. He continued running looking back to see his friends had stoped. Probably tired Dream thought. He needed a brake himself. He was surprised he had made it this far. But he knew he wouldn’t have gotten this far if Sapnap and George weren’t playing nice. They didn’t want to scare Dream, and Dream was using that advantage. He hid himself in a flower field. The flowers would hid his scent and he couldn’t be easily found. He looked through his bag. He had food prepared for this but he needed water. He froze feeling the ground shake. Foot steps, he thought. They where coming he should go, but messing with them was to much fun. He hid behind a tree and waited till they got closer.

“I’m telling you he’s here.” George said. “Well I don’t see him?” Sapnap gestured to the flower patch themed found. “Look he was here.” George said pointing out a trail through the tall grass. “Oh he was....” Sapnap hummed. They looked at each other with a smirk. Dream was close and they had a plan.

“Oh Dream~” George called out with a smirk. He looked around trying to find a glimpse of the human. There! He spotted a flash of something ducking back behind the tree. He nudged Sapnap getting his attention. He pointed to where Dream was. “Maybe he’s not here....” he said as they slowly got closer to Dreams hiding spot. “We should continue on try and find him again.” Sapnap said as they pretended to not know where Dream was. Everything was still for a second no one daring to breathe. The silence was interrupted with a loud ripping sound as Sapnap pulled the tree Dream had been hiding behind out of the ground. He tossed the tree to the side finding Dream on the ground covered in dirt from the tree. “Ha! Gottcha.” He yelled.

Dream screamed as the tree, his safety was ripped out of the ground. He fell to the ground from the force of it. He closed his eyes as dirt fell down around him. He gritted his teeth hearing Sapnap yell triumphantly. He pushed himself off the ground before he could get grabbed. He yelled as he tripped on a door from the tree that was sticking out of the ground. “Ow....” he mumbled.

George was going to pick up Dream when he suddenly fell to the ground. “Dream!?” He said worried that they had some how hurt the human. Sapnap leaned forward hands hovering around Dream not sure if you should pick him up or not.

Dream huffed turning on his back. He looked up to see two very worried giants hovering over him. “You two are such mother hens. I’m fine.” He said sitting up. George let out a sigh of relief. “We where worried you where hurt-“ He got cut of by Sapnap saying they where not in fact mothers hens.

Dream laughed at them both. “Well I guess I lost. Can’t run with a twisted ankle.” He said.

“We didn’t think you’d get this far...” George hummed. Dream shrugged. “Well I could keep going if this idiot didn’t rip a tree out of the fucking ground.” He playfully glared at Sapnap.

“Hey! The tree thing was George’s idea.” Sapnap said gently scooping dram up off the ground.

“You agreed to it.” George replied to Sapnap. They giants got up from the ground and began to make their way back home. Dream laid back in Sapnap hand letting himself rest. He was exhausted from running all day. “Aww tired Dreamy?” Sapnap teased looking down at the human in his hands. “No I’m fine.” Dream said pushing at the finger that had tried to poke him. “I don’t know he seems pretty tired.” George said looking to Dream. “I’m not-“ Dream cut himself off with a yawn. “Ok maybe I’m a little tired.” He sighed.

Sapnap carfully curled his hands around Dream. “It’s a long way back, rest we’ll let you know when we get back.” He said. Dream gave in relaxing into Sapnap’s hand. “Fine.” He Dream said. He was going to win next time he told himself as he curled up.

They got back home a few hours later. They didn’t want to wake Dream who had fallen asleep. Sapnap passed Dream to George not wanting to wake the sleeping human. The giants soon fell asleep curled around each other.

[marinetteplztakeabreak]

ML Lies Episode Predictions:

There’s Two?? (don’t trust my math) more days before lies completely destroys me, so I’m going to make some predictions, and by predictions I mean wishlist. My walls are already up, so if none of these happen I won’t be disappointed, but also a girl can dream: (this is somehow 1700 entire words long because I have a lot of feelings, so it’s under a cut, you’re welcome)

—Adrien and Kagami’s are secretly dating: please I want it so bad, I’ve talked about this so much and emotionally I need it!! At the very least I want them to sneak out together so so bad I’d cry. But also, if they’re hiding it from their other friends for whatever reason, thats SUCH good angst potential.

—If we get to see some kinda montage of them sneaking out??? Id ride that high for months. Even just one actual example of them working together to sneak out would obliterate me. Like, how it shows Kagami sneaking out to go to the game in Ikari Gozen?? I’d cry

—The breakup happens as a direct result of it being a secret relationship: this would be SUCH a good parallel to lukanette. Lukanette broke up because Luka wanted Marinette to be more open with him and he hated being in the dark, so just, the parallels if Adrien wants to be more open about adrimi and Kagami is like “you dont understand, if your dad finds out about us he will end this immediately” but Adrien wants to believe that its going to be okay and no one will react badly? I’m probably explaining this badly and I’ll try to explain it better later I just,,, want parallels and opposites and truth v lies and hhhhh

—Fencing??? Friendly/ affectionate competition??? Them being idiot jocks in love??? Please??? I want to see them compete!!

—I’d love to see Kagami character growth + Adrimi relationship development!!! I want her to love herself more and be more comfortable around him!!!

—Specifically, if there was a parallel to Riposte,, and Adrien beat Kagami in a fencing match and Kagami was like “Oh nice!! :D good game!” I’d be so happy I’d cry!! And it’s kinda implied by Chat Blanc that they’re already there in there relationship?? But not confirmed?? So if I saw it or saw confirmation of it I’d cry!!

—in one of the released photos it looked like they were holding hands??? And at this point my expectations are so low I don’t even trust it yet but blease,,, let them hold hands,, i’d cry of joy

—If Adrien is also constantly leaving and disappearing due to akuma responsibilities, I want it to read SUPER differently from the Lukanette because I love parallels/foils!! Marinette disappears on her dates with Luka and its just “oh marinette is really distracted and busy and frazzled” but I dont think Adrimi but be loke that at all!!! Because as far as Kagami knows, she has the same backstory/current story as Adrien. She’s risking a lot by sneaking out to go on dates with him?? So Adrien seeing an akuma and being like “oh sorry father is calling” isnt even suspicious or anything??? Its 100% believable!!! If her mother called she’d immediately be like “oh fricking heck i Need To Leave this instant immediately.” So its less “Adrien doesnt care about her” and more of just twisting the knife and reminding her that life doesnt want them to be together and Adrien is never going to be free!!! Big ouch to her heart!!!

—also I want!!!! Them!!! To talk about their feelings!!! Because parallels to truth!!! Adrien is like “sorry I have to go” and Kagami is like “oh I hate that so much” and Adrien is like “big same.” (Also idk how realistic this is but I’d love it if ‘Kagami talking about her feelings’ wasn’t the cause of strife in their relationship!! Like, she talks about how she feels and when she’s upset and Adrien is like “yeah me too” and they’re just,, good bros)

—I need them to stay friends after the breakup, i need it i need it i need it!!! And the whole issue is!! I feel like the main reason they’d date is to try and hang out more?!?? So if the breakup was actually them talking to each other and being like “hey so this isnt working with sneaking out, we’re going to need to go back to the way it was before,” rather than them saying they were bad for each other???? Hoo boy i’d lose my mind

—Also!!! My favorite prediction, I’d die of joy if this happened (and also of angst). I want there to be so much drama with “secret relatinship” stuff that they try to fix it by going public with their relationship!! Very low chance of this actually happening but its okay if it doesnt, thats what the fanfiction I’m inevitably going to write immediately after watching the episode is for!!! But anyway,, multiple ways this could happen.

Maybe they’ve been secretly dating since Miracle Queen and they decide to go public at the beginning of this episode and that’s the primary source of plot/conflcit!!! I’d be thrilled!!!

BUT!!! if the episode ends with then Not Breaking Up, but instead deciding to go from dating secretly to dating publicly???? Holy Freaking Heck,,, I’d go feral with emotion!!!! I also need to expand on this so much more but basic rundown of how I imagine it could happen (again: Is it likely?? Probably not! but this is my last chance to dream):

Kagami is like “listen we have the same backstory and I KNOW in my soul that this relationship wouldn’t work if it was public”

Adrien is like “okay yeah I feel you, thats fair”

Kagami goes on dates with Adrien and its fun and nice and lovely and the honeymoon phase is so good and exciting

Adrien starts disappearing a lot, partly because of akuma attacks, but partly because of nathalie and gabe calling him constantly

Adrien starts to be like “well actually i think that my dad does care about me probably? And if he knew why I wanted to go he’d let me! Or at least Nathalie would because clearly she cares about me!”

Kagami is like “hhhnngg have you met them?? You think they’d want you to be happy and free??” Except she can’t just SAY that because if she did then she’d be crushing Adrien’s entire heart and possibly also making him get really defensive and he has to come to the conclusion that his parents are good on his own

Kagami also starts to get frustrated with how much more often Adrien has to leave than she does?? And its because of akuma attacks but she doesnt know that and he cant tell her

Adrien starts to get frustrated because he can take the “having to leave for akuma attacks” part but when he finally finishes an akuma battle and Natalie immediately calls him it is just aaaaaAAAAAAAA and he just wants to believe so badly that he could at least take control of that part??? He could at least get Nathalie to help him out??? Probably maybe right???

Because we all know he HATES having to keep secrets from Ladybug, but he’ll do it for her, and he’ll keep his life as Chat a secret, but Kagami??? He should at least be able to talk about that, right?? He’s not doing anything bad/dangerous/etc

Also there could very well be some angst with Adrien being so so worried about Nathalie because she’s bedridden and his dad is being sketchy and he’s SEEN this before and he doesn’t want to be avoiding Natalie or lying to her because what if he loses her too??? He’d feel so guilty! And he needs the support of a parent figure so much,,, so he HAS to tell her the truth

But he respects Kagami’s wishes and he’s not going to betray her trust

But unlike Lukanette, they DO talk about their feelings and they disagree and stuff, and even if he’s trying not to be confrontational, Kagami is like “i can tell youre uncomfortable about something, please just tell me what it is” so he tells her that he disagrees

Kagami gets akumatized?? idk if it’s even been confirmed that she’s the akuma “Lies” but I’d assume she is because parallels to Lukanette

Maybe it happens as a direct result of some moment where Kagami and Adrien are arguing and in the heat of the moment he says something hurtful??

Maybe they’re arguing and then Adrien has to leave before it can resolve and Kagami is mad about it even though shes trying not to be and she gets akumatized???

Maybe she does say something like “bc your dad sucks and nathalie sucks!” and he yells or something (i want to see Adrien yell and be flawed let me live, and this is one of the most likely scenerios for it to happen bc it would HURT for him)

Maybe Kagami shoots back with anger, maybe Adrien’s been calm but Kagami gets mean for a moment, but regardless, Kagami says something about her true feelings of anger at nathalie/gabe/ etc and before Adrien can respond he’s like “oh shoot sorry I need to get home NOW”

Then for one brief second Kagami’s TERRIFIED that he’s going to tell nathalie about this in his anger and then nathalie’s going to be like “oh kagami is clearly bad for you because she made u this upset” and Adrien will LISTEN because hes stupid and he still listens to his horrible adult figures and Kagami is so mad about the entire situation so then in her moment of weakness she gets akumatized

Look at that its a direct opposite of Lukanette because Luka was afraid of Marinette keeping secrets about why she’s always vanishing because he doesnt know and Kagami is afraid of Adrien telling secrets about why HEs always vanishing bc she thinks she does know,,

But anyway, after she gets de-akumatized, she’s so ashamed of it and she can see how far she took it and how many people it hurt,, and Adrien is really sad and apologetic and trying to support her,, and she’s like “no clearly I was actually wrong, keeping this a secret is hurting you and its hurting me and now its hurting random civilians”

So she tells Adrien that they should tell people about it and stop dating in secret

And then multiple possible ending:

Does he say “actually no, youre right, they wouldnt let this happen, so if we cant date in public and dating in secret is hurting us then we shouldnt date at all” and thats how the breakup goes??? That would literally obliterate me

Does the episode end on a false positive where Adrien hasnt told them yet and he is like “yeah this is gonna be great” and there isnt an actual breakup yet?? Because that would also kill me (even though i doubt theyre going to let adrimi take up that much time in the show but, let me dream)

Also if Adrien is like “we shouldnt tell my parents but we should tell someone” and then they tell Marinette and now shes got ANOTHER secret to keep and aaaaaaaAAAAA?? Id die on the spot

I’m still holding out hope that the episode will give me enough crumbs to at least be able to write this better, but regardless of what happens in the episode,,, the chances of me eventually writing fanfiction exploring this are SO HIGH, I’ve been thinking about this for ages

In conclusion:

—no matter what happens in lies, its going to destroy me

—please let them be in a secret relationship it makes so much sense for their characters and for the drama and aaaaAAAAA

—also please give me the parallels to lukanette where their issues are exactly the opposite and it still falls apart

Thank you for your time, I’ll be excitedly vibrating at the speed of sound for the next two days until we get answers!! Depending on how the episode goes, I’ll either be writing so much adrimi fluff to recover,, so much adrimi angst to vent,, or I’ll be staring at the ceiling screaming for a few days as I post nothing but keysmashes and try to sort through my emotions :)

[stealingpotatoes]

I am OBSESSED with your Desmond lives AU!! I want Shaun and Rebecca to be able to give Desmond all the hugs, I want Desmond to be able to choose to be an Assassin, to be able to help save the world again. Also, I am very curious about how you would resurrect Desmond, because I’ve had similar thoughts on such an AU, but I currently stick it near the end of Valhalla with the stuff that happens there. If you ever feel like expanding on it, I'd be super excited to see more!!!

first of all, AH THANK YOU!!! Yes those are ALL points that are very important to the Des Lives AU! Second of all, thank you so much for this ask in general!!! I was hoping someone would send an ask like this so I’d get an excuse to talk abt the AU more lmao XD!! I made this AU back in March last year, so there’s no Valhalla stuff in it, and it’s set right after/ during the Odyssey DLCs. 

The long story short for my Desmond Rez (rezmond, if you will) is “shroud of eden, abstergo, and some Isu bullshit”. The long story long, however, is uh- you know what? I’m going to use this opportunity to explain the vague story I worked out last year -- but dw, I WILL get to the full ressurection explanation I thought through. However... I’m gonna have to tell the story in smaller parts because I’m lazy and can’t be bothered to write the whole thing out right now. So rez comes later and not in this post. 

also uh-- before we start: I’m going to apologise for like… everything about the way I wrote this. It’s sort-of half fic, half that-way-your-friends-colloquially-tell-stories-that-you-can’t-keep-up-with. Mainly the latter. If you can make sense of this babbling, well done.

 Anyways, without further ado, welcome to:

POTES TRIES TO EXPLAIN HER DESMOND (SORTA) LIVES AU: PART ONE

On the 21st of December 2012, Desmond Miles dies. 

It’s not for nothing -- his sacrifice saves the entire world from a solar flare -- but he is dead. big ripz. The Assassins, his family, do not manage to recover his body. Abstergo gets it first. The Assassins hold a funeral as best they can. They mourn (all in their own ways), they keep fighting (for his memory), and they try to move on (they can’t). 

On the 21st of December 2012, Desmond Miles died -- so when he shows up in a city in October 2018, almost 6 years later, it’s a bit of a shock for everyone. What’s even more of a shock is the fact he’s glowing like an Isu and has some abilities he DEFINITELY didn’t have when he died.

So Desmond wakes up in the middle of some city in he doesn’t know where (yeah ok i just never really worked out where the secret lab would be), with 1. no idea of how he got there and 2. no idea why his arms are glowing like that. He doesn’t get much time to think about it because then there’re a load of Abstergo goons with guns surrounding him. Des may have no idea what’s happening, but he knows one thing: when u see an Abstergo, it’s on sight. So he’s fighting them -- which is admittedly not fun or easy when you’re in the middle of a road and only have your fists as weapons. It’s not going well and then someone definitely manages to shoot Desmond which is very bad -- but then Des feels some very weird (but not unfamiliar) feeling and when he looks up from the bullet wound, every one of the Abstergos are on the floor???? He doesn’t think to check if they’re dead, just legs it out of there lmao. 

//

Elsewhere, in an Assassin safehouse in an undisclosed location (can you tell I just didn’t think about the geography of anything), Mr Shaun Hastings is chilling on a balcony after a mission well done. Good for him. Then Rebecca Crane (queen ilu) yells “Shaun?” from inside. 

“Rebecca?” 

“Come inside. Now.”

Shaun immediately does so because he assumes it’s important or they’re under threat. “What happened? Have we been compromised?”

Rebecca doesn’t answer. 

“You look like you’ve seen a ghost,” Shaun says, mostly joking and with a little smirk -- though Becs looks spooked. 

“Desmond’s alive.”

Shaun’s not smirking anymore. “What?”

“Desmond’s... he’s alive.”

“What are you talking about? Are you high?” he’s totally about to look at her eyes to see if they’re all dilated and druggy. 

“No Shaun, I mean it!” Becs harshly shoves her tablet into his hands. 

Shaun doesn’t really know what he’s expecting to see when he looks down at the screen. What he’s not really expecting to see is Desmond Miles, who’s been dead for six years, fighting a load of Abstergo people -- while lined in Isu markings (also he’s not wearing a shirt forgot got to mention). ??? But wtf??!?! Desmond’s dead. That’s...

“It’s security camera footage from [the city]... About two hours ago.” Rebecca then swipes through more footage with shaky hands and explains that Des very violently burst out of an Abstergo facility in the city with glowing eyes and light leaking out of him (almost like an Apple of Eden). Then the glowing eyes and shining lights shuts off abruptly and Des is standing in the middle of the road looking very confused at his precursor-ass arms and chest. But Shaun is barely listening to what she’s saying and barely even looking at the screen. 

“Where did you get this?” Shaun asks with a hollow voice, not looking up. 

“The Initiates.” (bc who else)

Shaun looks at it again, then at Rebecca, and he’s mildly aware of the fact he’s slightly tearing up; “That’s fake. That can’t be him. He’s dead, Becs. We both saw the…” They both saw the autopsy footage the ac4 researcher got from Abstergo -- or at least, tried to watch it; they shut it off as soon as Shaun ran to the bathroom to throw up and Rebecca quickly joined him. They spent the rest of that night crying and drinking way too much. 

“He died.” Shaun concludes firmly. 

And so Becs is all like “yeah but what if he didn’t?? We need to find him. We need to investigate this.” There’s a determination in her eyes and Shaun knows he’s not going to be able to convince her to drop this -- not that he would. Desmond might be alive, and there is no way they’re going to leave him again. 

They’re both standing there in pure shock and confusion, not saying anything. 

Rebecca’s comm device lights up and starts buzzing, snapping them out of their general ????-ness. Becs goes to her desk to grab it, glances at the caller id and then shows it to Shaun. It’s William Miles. 

The two of them share a Look. They know what he’s calling about -- what else would it be? There’s a stilted moment of neither of them doing anything before Rebecca finally accepts the call. “William?” 

“How quickly can you and Shaun get to [city]?” William sounds shaken -- probably the same way Rebecca and Shaun are -- which is a very weird way to hear the Mentor of the Brotherhood sound. He’s seen the footage, hasn’t he? 

“In a few hours,” Rebecca replies. 

“Good. You need to get there as soon as possible.” 

Everyone’s silent for a few moments. 

“Is this about Desmond?” Rebecca asks. Dumb question. 

There’s a pause. “You’ll be briefed on the ground.” And then he hangs up before Shaun or Rebecca can yell at him.

This is all moving very fast. Shaun and Rebecca share another look. Guess they’re going to [city].  ???

// 

Fast forward several hours and Rebecca and Shaun are in The City [might just have to make the city london bc it’s the one city i actually know well -- however for plot reasons we’ll see later, a swiss city might be better… moving on!]. They get to an assassin base and meet up with Galina Voronina and 2 local assassins. Idk if you’ve read the comics, but to sum things up quickly, Galina and her team were investigating and then ended Project Phoenix -- so Galina now really wants to find out if the whole Desmond thing has anything to do with that. 

Galina also wants to help Shaun and Rebecca get their friend back. They’re her friends, but equally she just lost one of her teammates to Abstergo (while ending Phoenix like 2 months ago, in the comics) and is uh- idk how to say it but she wants to help Shaun & Becs who have a chance to get their lost teammate back.

What follows is cool gang-gang trying to track down any trace of Desmond. You’d think it wouldn’t be hard to find a person who literally glows, but Desmond’s had centuries of Assassin training and knows how to hide lol.. which is making the Assassins’ job harder lol. 

What’s making it even harder is the Assassins know they have to be quick because they know Abstergo is gonna be looking for Desmond too -- and they have way more resources and stuff. That being said, they’re also currently dealing with the fact one of their building and a decent amount of their guards just got absolutely mullered by weird-glowing-desmond. 

The third issue with their entire thing is that they have no idea what they’re going to find when they find Desmond -- or if he even is Desmond. Is he going to be the man they knew but with weird powers? an Abstergo isu-clone? evil? they don’t know, and so they know they’ve got to be wary with him. 

The Assassin gang spend some time (a couple of days at the very most) trying to track Desmond down. Rebecca is using all the tech she can get her hacker mitts on to find a trace of him and equally throw Abstergo off Des’ trail. 

Soon enough, they get a solid lead -- don’t ask for the specifics, i don’t know them. But they get a lead, and it winds them up in an abandoned apartment building or also abandoned building site or something (a building in the city where there aren’t any people, basically). 

Galina scans the place with Eagle Vision and she’s like “There is something very strange about this place.” (someone?) But she doesn’t see a person-shape anywhere. The 5 of them are hopeful but somewhat on edge. 

They go about searching for any sign of Desmond. Galina’s pretty sure her Eagle Vision is just… Messing Up A Lot lol. Like something’s trying to heck with it. So she’s not quite sure it’s working correctly when a load of red figures appear somewhere below them. 

She becomes a lot more sure when the red figures come into sight and START SHOOTING AT THEM! IT’S ABSTERGO!! CRAP! they found them!!

The assassins get down and a really cool fight scene w them vs the Abstergos in the building/ building site starts playing out. Woo Shaun and Rebecca electro-hidden-blade moments!! The fight splits the squad up and Shaun and Rebecca are away from Galina & the others -- but they dispatch the Abstergo guards near them.

They’re about to radio in that they’re all okay/ check if Galina & co are also good when they hear a slightly-too-loud footstep. They whip around to see an Abstergo guard aiming right at them, too far for either of them to get him before he shoots them. crap crap crap.

They would have been shot -- if someone hadn’t come up behind the Abstergo guard and snapped his neck (ouch). 

The Abstergo drops to the ground, revealing the person who saved them and… Shaun and Rebecca stare in shock. 

They’re both looking at Desmond Miles. 

Desmond Miles, who is very much alive (and wearing a hoodie that is 100% stolen). And… with a load of glowing yellow lines on his face. But it’s Desmond -- it’s Desmond for sure. Holy shit.  

Desmond doesn’t seem so shocked, only relieved to see them. Then his expression turns into serious confusion; 

“What the fuck is happening?”

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ok sorry leaving it there for now! hope you enjoyed what is here will continue soon